#it's not like my last time to celebrate anything ever
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˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .
in control (paige x reader)
summary: you take control to show paige just how proud of her you are after a good game
content warnings: nsfw smut dirty talk fingering sub paige munch/dom reader strap
inspired by this and this request!
You waited for your girlfriend in the same place as always post game. Outside the locker room. You could hear the muffled cheers and celebrations from inside and you smiled to yourself. You were always so proud of Paige, but especially today. She was anxious for this season to start, knowing it was her last year here and the pressure to get a national championship was bigger than ever but she showed everyone what she was about. There really was no more passive Paige and even though it was only the first game, you could see that. You watched her work her ass off all summer and it was paying off.
Paige loved hearing how proud of her you were but her love language strayed more towards physical touch than words of affirmation and you planned on letting her know just how proud of her you were, in a way she would feel it rather than hear it.
“Hi my love.” Paige beamed as she came out of the locker room, her hands immediately finding your waist and pulling you into a hug.
She was fresh out of the shower, her hair was damp and brushed out of her face. She smelt of coconut and vanilla and you couldn’t help pressing your lips to the soft skin on her neck, “Good game baby.” You praise into her ear.
“Thank you. Wanna go out and eat to celebrate?” She asks looking down at you with her big blue eyes.
“I was thinking we could go back to mine and I could eat you out to celebrate?” You whisper for just Paige to hear as her teammates filter out of the changing room.
Paige gulps and you watch in real time as her pupils dilate, “That works too.”
“You coming P?” Aubrey asks as the girls start to make their way to the exit.
“Nah, got plans with my girl.” Paige says draping an arm over your shoulder and leading you away but you don’t miss the wink she sends Aubrey and you nudge your elbow into her side, “Have some decorum.”
The ride back to your place was charged to say the least. Paige couldn’t keep her hands off you as you drove. They started at the nape of your neck, then they were on your waist, then your thighs and as you squeezed your legs together, Paige fought to slip her hand inbetween, cupping you tingling cunt. You had a good mind to pull your car over right there and climb over the console and on top of Paige but you controlled yourself.
“I’m gonna crash if you carry on.” You hiss at her.
“I’m sorry baby, you just look so good.” She rasps, removing her hands from you and you immediately miss her touch and wish you never said anything.
Getting through the front door was a task, Paige was wrapped around you from behind, pressing sloppy kisses to your neck and jaw. She was needy today and you liked it. Paige was usually very dominant and in control, she was rarely at your mercy but your words earlier had an effect on her and she was ready to let you have your way.
“On the bed.” You ordered and Paige wasted no time complying, kicking off her shoes in the process. Her eyes were low and hooded, she drank you in as you stripped out of your clothes until you were stood in her favourite lace set, worn purposely for this moment.
“Shit baby. So fucking hot.” She muttered, shimming out of her sweats exposing her slender legs.
You crawled up the bed slowly, your eyes never once straying from your girlfriends and she bit on her bottom lip, a low groan escaping her mouth.
You pressed tender kisses to the inside of her thigh, nipping and sucking at the skin, leaving red marks that would serve as a reminder of this moment in days to come.
You kissed all the way up to her boxers and she shivered with anticipation as your fingers traced her folds over the thin material.
“I want them off.” You remark, snapping the waistband against her skin and she quickly lifts her hips pulling the boxers down, revealing her already glistening cunt.
“So wet for me and I’ve barely touched you.” You purred, licking your lips at the sight in front of you.
“That’s what you do to me baby.” Paige husked out and she bucks her hips towards you, “My body is crazy for you.” Her eyes were filled with a burning desire and it ignited something deep inside of you, so passionate and heated, you lowered your mouth to her core and began moving your tongue in short, quick flicks, devouring her like you were starving and she was the last meal on earth.
“Holy fuck baby, that feels so good.” Paige moaned as you continued lapping at her cunt.
Your grip on her calves was firm as you held her legs in place, bent and spread apart, creating the perfect space for your head to nestle inbetween.
“You taste so good baby, so fucking good. I could eat you all night.” You mummble against her and the vibrations caused by your voice make her tremble with excitement.
“I’d let you.” She groans, “I’d let you do anything.” You lift your head to look at her and you replace your tongue with a finger and watch as her eyes roll back as she basks in the feeling of you being inside her.
“Anything?” You ask, your thumb presing to her throbbing clit, “Anything.” She confirms and you slip another finger in and start pumping in and out, curling up to hit her g-spot with each stroke.
“Cum for me and then we’ll test that theory.” You dip your head back down and work your tongue and fingers in conjunction, your only goal now being to make your girlfriend cum.
“Shit, don’t stop.” There’s nothing in this world that would make you stop. You were already soaking from the moans and raspy words spilling out of Paiges mouth.
“Fuck I’m- ugh- I’m gonna cum.” She breathes out and you take her clit in your mouth sucking it raw as you feel her walls contract around your fingers. Her legs begin to tremble and shake and she grips onto your hair pushing your face further into her.
“Shit-” She moans before letting out a guttural growl and her juices seep out, dampening the sheets.
You work Paige through her orgasm until shes begging you to stop but you’re not done.
“On your hands and knees for me baby.” You request, slipping your fingers out of her and stuffing them in your mouth, savouring every last drop of the sweetness you had caused to melt out of her.
You watch as Paige shakily manoeuvres herself into your desired position, still feeling the effects of her high. She looks back at you, ass up, thighs moist and her eyes flutter as you step into the harness before securing it around your waist.
Wearing a strap felt foreign to you, this was usually Paiges domain but with the way she was bent over, hole pulsating, ready for you, you were in your element.
You teased her wet folds with the tip of the strap, swiping it up and down and Paige gasped at the initial contact. As much as this was new for you, it was new for her too.
“Are you gonna take my cock like a good girl, P?” You ask, sending a smack to her ass cheek.
“Mhm.”
“Words baby.”
“Y-yes.” She stuttered out and she pushed her ass back and that was the only sign you needed that she was ready.
You guided the silicone dick into her, slowly filling her up.
“Fuckkk.” She groaned as you went deeper.
“Such a good girl.” You praised as you latched onto her hips and begun to thrust. With each pound, the base of the strap hit into your cunt sending ripples of pleasure through you. You could see why Paige enjoyed this.
“You look so fucking hot like this.” You grunted as you drove into Paige at such force that the only sound that could be hurt over her moans was the slapping of flesh. Her ass against your hips and it was only adding to your arousal.
“Feels so- ugh- so good.” She whimpered and you reach forward taking her hair in your hand and you tug at it, “Tell me how good.”
“The best- oh my god- the fucking best Y/N.”
You quicken your pace, now fully in the swing of dominating your girlfriend and you look down at the strap, at it hammering into Paiges sopping cunt and you release her hair, your hand coming up to squeeze and tug at your tit.
Paiges head drops into the pillow in front of her and her hands grapple with the sheets, you can tell she’s close and the way her body glistens with sweat drives you crazy and you can’t stop yourself as you slip a hand around to tease her clit.
“Ugh- I’m gonna cum- shit- right there.” She groans and you press down further.
“Fuckkk! I’m- I’m cumming!” She cries out and her body thrashes and twitches before going completely still and she collapses onto the bed in a mixture of pants and groans.
You slip your cock out of her admiring the state of it, wet and sticky and you think if it wasn’t attached to you, you’d lick it clean.
You flip Paige over so she’s on her back and she looks so gloriously fucked out, her hairs a mess on the pillow beneath her head, her chest is rising and falling at a quickened pace and her eyes, when she finally opens them are filled with such intensity, you want more.
You push her legs up so they’re bent and her leaking cunt is exposed to you once again, “I can’t.” She whimpered trying to close her legs but you held them firm, “You can baby. One more time. Cum for me one more time.” You urge and you slide into her again, slower than the previous time and you watch as her mouth falls open, eyes screw shut and head tips back. You could cum simply from this view.
You work inside of Paige slow and deep, grinding your hips to pleasure yourself at the same time.
“Its- its too much.” She cries reaching up to push you away.
“Just take it. Take me.” You assert not stopping your movements and it takes seconds for Paige to be arching off the bed yelling your name.
With the way she looked, so helpless beneath you and sounded so insanely out it, you could feel a fire roaring in your abdomen.
“You’re such a good girl for me.” You pant, drawing back and then slamming into her hard and forceful and that does it for the both of you.
You fall ontop of Paige in a trembling heap and she wraps her arms around you holding you close as you both succumb to your orgasms. Time slows as shockwave of electricity fire through your bodies and you let out the most animalistic groan, burying your face into Paiges chest.
“Shit baby,” You choke out, “You took me so well.”
You press sloppy kisses along her collarbone, the taste of sweat, salty on your lips. You push yourself up and out of Paige and she whimpers at the feeling, “You did so good P, are you OK?” You ask softly aware of onslaught you just put her through.
“Yeah but you’re never topping me again.” She chuckles as you lay beside her breathlessly.
“You loved it.” You quip, wiping your brow of the baby hairs that stuck to your clammy skin.
“I fucking adored it but I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow.”
˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .
a/n: i have no words actually 😵💫 freaky friday in full effect 💋
#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#wcbb#wlw#lgbtq#paige x reader#oneshot#paige bueckers imagine#blurb#fanfic#paige bueckers smut#smut#lovegalor333
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Pedri BF Headcanons
a/n: hi hi hi its been around 5 months since I last posted a full piece and i'm so so sorry abt it I had a lot going on in my life but I'm back and I'll try to post something at least once a week 🤍
warnings: a lil lot suggestive
masterlist <3 | F1 masterlist
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who worships the ground you walk on.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who would rather spend his nights cuddled up with you on the couch watching cheesy romcoms rather than being out with his friends.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who does a celebration of your initial every time he scores a goal.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who doesn't let you get behind the wheel. ever.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who takes you to Tenerife every now and then because he loves how his family adores you and knows you secretly miss them too.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who buys you flowers every week.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who after a bad match or a rough day, just needs you to cuddle him and play with his hair till he falls asleep.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who loves to listen to you yap about literally anything.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who loves to shower with you. it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, he just loves showering with you.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who can't get enough of your kisses
'just one more néna pls'
'pepi you're gonna be late for training'
'amor just give me a kiss and I won't be late'
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who loves whispering the nastiest things in your ears in Spanish at the most random times because he loves seeing you all flustered.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who eats you out till you cry.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who sends you the thirstiest of thirst traps while he's at away games.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who gets jealous and possessive if a man looks at you and then has you bent over the balcony once y'all are home.
'fuckkkk pedri!!!!"
'yes Mami tell the whole neighbourhood who you belong to'
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who will gladly slam you against the wall and make out with you.
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who talks you thru it.
'come on bebe you can give me one more'
'just like that hermosa'
'you're taking me so well mi vida'
⋆.˚ bf! Pedri who needs you as his wife and as the mother of his children
▶︎ •ll|||ll||ll|• 0:10
requests are open for fics and blurbs <3
#mehrs digital diary ‧₊˚🖇️✩#mehrs works ✮ ⋆ ˚。🪩 ⋆。°✩#pedri gonzalez#pedri x reader#pedri imagine#pedri x you#pedri x y/n#fc barcelona#fc barça#football fanfic#football#spain nt#fc barca#pedri#x reader#888 ★🎧⋆。 °⋆
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I made the original post in 2014. Ten years ago. Which is ... incomprehensible to me, quite frankly. And I was talking about a time several years earlier. So, Grace Shepard has been a part of my life for almost, what, 14 years?
In the last few months, I've fallen in love with Mass Effect again. (I was never OUT of love with it, but I was burned out and overworked and I hadn't played anything more demanding than match-3 games on my phone for years.) It still holds up. It still connects. It still taps right in to some vein of creativity that never seems to dry up (even though I haven't had the chance to create much lately).
What blows my mind in the best possible way is that here's a trilogy (and Andromeda, I know) that's been around AND FINISHED for over a decade, and yet the fandom is still thriving and new folks are still finding it.
And Grace is still as important to me as she ever was.
So, here's to the old fans and the new; here's to the fans just finding this game, and the ones who are no longer here with us to celebrate hopeful, loving, sometimes-silly things like N7 Day. Pour one out for this game that keeps on giving, all these years later. I'm so glad it's been and continues to be part of my life, my creativity, and so many of my friendships.
This is Grace Celeste Shepard. Colonist. War Hero. Infiltrator. If you’re following me, you probably know her. I’ve written a few novels’ worth of fanfiction about her. To say nothing of the reams of headcanon and answered questions I’ve tackled over the years. I talk about her a lot. She’s become incredibly important to me.
And I never expected to love her. If I’m honest, I never really expected to finish playing her game.
Grace and I met a little over three and a half years ago. Mass Effect 3 was about to drop, and I was seeing a ton of ME stuff all over my usually-Dragon-Age-heavy dash. I was skeptical, but I wanted to know what all the fuss was about.
I came to Mass Effect reluctantly, like a kid who really wants to go swimming but is too afraid to dive in. I expected the water to be cold, or full of weeds. Imagine my surprise when I dipped my toes in and found it perfectly warm and clear and inviting.
Grace and I have been through some rough stuff together. I’ve almost killed her a few times. I’ve made her nearly starve to death, nearly freeze to death, nearly forget herself. I’ve made her doubt her own sanity, her own personhood, her own purpose. I dropped a couple of unexpected adopted kids on her. And, you know? She’s never given up on me. Her voice has never gone silent; she’s always been there with her story, waiting for me to catch up and play the scribe she knows I can be. She and her story have carried me through two international moves, through loneliness and isolation so intense it felt unsurvivable, through doubt and fear and frustration. She’s introduced me to more people–friends, fans, fellow fandom flailers–than I ever thought imaginable. What a gift that is. I will always, always be grateful to her–and to Mass Effect–for it.
So, Happy N7 Day, Grace. Happy N7 Day to all the Commanders Shepard out there, and the people who love them. And Happy N7 Day, BioWare. Thanks for giving us such a treasure to play with.
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Best tutor ever
Jimmy, 23 y.o., law student
Jimmy struggled at university, because of his model side job. He really loved it, but he also wanted to be a great lawyer.
Eventually his parents found out. His father was furious and got one of the law professors Harrison to tutor Jimmy.
Although the professor didn't really like Jimmy, he helped him to get better. To improve. And eventually he found out that this young man, he assumed was just another jock, was a great young man.
They always went over the study materials and then had some bonding time talking about school, politics, their youth.
Jimmy eventually passed all exams needed. He went back to Mr. Harrison to thank him.
They went for a hug
Mr. Harrison:"Oh, Jimmy. I'm so happy. You're gonna be a great lawyer."
Jimmy:"Thank you, Mr. Harrison. You're the reason why I didn't fail. I would like to give you something. What would you like? A bottle of whiskey, vacation to Bahamas, new car? I think I owe you so much for helping me secure my future."
Mr. Harrison:"Slow down. You should only thank yourself. And do not give me anything. I'd desire to be young again as you to enjoy life, but that's not possible. So I'll at least enjoy helping young students like you to achieve their goals."
Jimmy smiled:"Ok, well I'll try to think of something"
Mr. Harrison couldn't sleep properly. It felt as if the night lasted an eternity.
He woke up the next morning. As he was used to, he would always rub his beard in the morning.
But while doing so, his fingers only traced a smooth face.
"What is this?"
His eyes opened. Something happened. He was still in his bed. But he felt different.
He looked at his arms. They were lighter, less hairy. But the skin looked tighter. He touched his left arm with his fingers and squeezed his stronger biceps.
Right at that moment, he noticed his fingers. They were longer, thinner. He knew his hands. He used them everyday at work, for everything. But these were not the hands he knew. They were younger. Different. There were no skin marks, the skin wasn't cracked. It looked young.
He looked down and noticed his lean chest. He used to be slim when he was young, but the stress from work made him gain weight and get that dad body. But this was a surprising change. His fingers traced his chest over the shirt.
Next was his belly. He was used to not be able to put some clothes over his belly. Not even being able to see his penis over it. But he even had ABS now!
He pushed away the covers. He uncovered his legs. He was so skinny now. The legs were longer than his. His legs were hairy
His knees didn't hurt. He was taken back by all of this happening.
He headed to the bathroom. He was surprised by a reflection of a young handsome man. He saw some resemblance with his younger self, but this body was different. He never had long hair.
He couldn't keep his new hands of his face, examining every part, every ridge of his face.
He still couldn't believe that this was happening. He was young again! His chin was so smooth! He was falling in love with his new appearenc.
He took of his shirt. His eyes fixated on his abs. On his nipples. His body had so many birthmarks.
He found his son's tighter shirt that would fit him better. Thanfully no one was home today. He would have a lot of trouble explaining how all ofnthi happened.
Even putting clothes on was a new surprisinf experience, it was so erotic for him to just brush over his body everytime he accidentally touched himself.
"I look amazing!" he said to his reflection
"Wow. This is my new voice. Hi, I'm Mr. Harrison. I'm young. I am young again!"
His phone vibrated. It was Jimmy.
Mr. Harrison:"Hello?"
Jimmy:"Hello there. How are you enjoying your new gift?"
Mr. Harrison:"Did you do this? How is this possible?"
Jimmy:"Don't worry about that. You wanna come celebrate with me? We could go to a beach to show of our bodies. You got long hair like me, don't you?"
Mr. Harrison:"Yeah. Well... ok. I think I'll go. But wait, Jimmy. What if I run into someone from my family?"
Jimmy:"Don't worry about it. I made sure that you'll get to enjoy everything. See you at the beach!"
Jimmy hanged up the phone. He went to his son's room and grabbed his swimshorts and a towel. He rushed down the stairs and took his son's shoes. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. He was ready to go, but someone spoke up behind him.
"Going somewhere?"
Mr. Harrison turned around to face an older man. He was wearing glasses, had a beard... fuck... he kind of looked like his old self. But not entirely. His eyes were different. His nose smaller. Almost as... Oh no.
Mr. Harrison:"Elijah?!"
Elijah:"Since when are you calling your father by his first name? You wanna tell me where you're headed?" He said as he sipped his morning coffee.
Mr. Harrison couldn't believe what he was seeing. His son was now old and he was young. "Beach... I'm heading to... the beach"
Elijah:"Are you ok, young man?"
Mr. Harrison:"Yeah, sorry. I... have to go... I'll be home soon. Bye."
Elijah sipped his coffee again and dialed a phone number.
"Hey. Haha. Yeah, we talked. He's confused. But don't tell him yet. Let him be confused for a while. He doesn't need to know we made a deal. He really deserves being young. Oh and try to get him to experiment. You know, he never got the chance to explore his sexuality when he was young. Ok, great. Have a great day, Jimmy."
Another anonymous story from Inbox 😊
What about a story were a really geeky teacher/professor ends up tutoring a kid and as a reward the teacher/professor is tranformed into a person the kids age.
Screenshots directly form the short f2m body swap movie on YouTube: Soliloquy of Morgan. Check it out :)
youtube
#Youtube#transfromation#male transformation#Age transformation#Age regression#Age progression#Male Age regression#Young again
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First Sight
@dira333: what if you're related or friends with the Miya twins and they accidentally or not set you up with someone on the msby roster? Meian is really cute if you know the manga, but there's also Sakusa, Hinata or Bokuto
word count: 1782
Osamu had already closed Miya Onigiri for the day, yet his two favorite moochers were still sitting at a booth consuming his food for free. He sighs, having already locked the doors, and put the chairs on top of the tables. He takes a seat next to Atsumu and joins your guys’ conversation. “I’m just sayin’,” Atsumu starts, “If yer so lonely, go out an’ meet someone. It's not that hard.”He finishes his sentence by taking a gigantic bite. He nods to himself like he made a great point, though you and Osamu are giving him side eyes.
“And how would ya know that? Ya haven’t gone on a date in over three months.” You point out.
Osamu snorts and adds, “Last relationship I remember you cryin’ like a baby, saying’ that ya would never love again.”
Atsumu scoffs and mumbles a “Shuddup!” while you let out a deep sigh and rest your head on the cool surface of the table. “It's not fair.” You whine. “I've got like, no love life. Why don’t ya set me up with yer hot friends?”
They share a look for a minute, then at the same time say “No.” You scoff and slam a hand on the table.
“Why the hell not!”
Osamu raises his hands in defense while Atsumu enters ‘big brother mode’. “Yer our only sister, and I love ya too much to set ya up with the idiots I call friends. Yer too good for them!” You roll your eyes but he continues. “Omi probably has some secret girlfriend already, Shoyo only thinks about volleyball, and Koutaro’s.. Well, he's.. I dunno. But I don’t trust them with ya!”
You groan and give Osamu a pleading look. “Please?” He gives you a deadpan look.
“It's a hard no. I’d have to kill Rintaro if he even looked at ya wrong.” You groan and throw your hands in the air.
“Gimme a break! I’m a grown woman, I can handle myself.” They both burst into laughter, so you kick Atsumu under the table.
“Owch! Hey!”
–
You were watching a movie at home by yourself when you heard your phone start to buzz. You glance away from the screen to see ‘Samu’ in bold letters pop up on your phone. You pause the move and check the text he sent you.
Samu: Hey. You still looking for a date?
Your eyes widen and you start to squeal. “Yes! ‘Samu for the win.” You start to celebrate prematurely when your phone buzzes again.
Samu: I have an idea but Tsumu wouldn’t like it lolol
Your smile drops and you grab the phone to respond.
You: what does that even mean…
Samu: Sooo have you ever met his team before?
You: no, I’ve met Kiyoomi but only briefly. why?? who are you thinking of?? Omg
Samu: that desperation is exactly what made me think of him LMAO
You gasp in offense and angrily respond,
You: WTF DOES THAT MEAN
Samu: anyway! 🙂 I was thinking of inviting some of the team to my place for dinner or something, you wanna come? you can’t tell Tsumu you’re coming though or he'd throw a fit or smth.
You chew on your lip in thought. On one hand, you really want to meet someone. On the other, if it ends up not working out, it could really make things awkward for your brother and his friends. You pause. He’ll be fine.
You: I'll be there :) love you!
Meanwhile, Osamu sighs and leans back against the headboard. “She better not say I never do anything for her. Hmph.”
Samu: love you too 🙄
–
Osamu was drying his hands when he heard the doorbell ring. “Comin’.” He opens the door and there stands Atsumu, Kiyoomi, Shoyo, and Kotaro. Atsmu gives a cheeky grin, holding up a case of beer. “I come bearing gifts.” Koutaro blinks in confusion. “But I bought it-” “Shush.”
Osamu moves aside so they can all come in. “No one else comin’?” Kiyoomi shakes his head. “Shugo was going to but he got caught up with something. The rest all had other arrangements.” Osamu nods in understanding. Shoyo immediately beelines for the kitchen. “What smells so good? I’m starving!” Kiyoomi furrows his brows stating, “You ate the whole way here.”
Just then, the doorbell rings again. This time there is no need to open the door, because you just so happen to have a key. “Hello!” You stroll in like you own the place. Osamu has to fight to hold his laugh in when he sees the look on Atsumu’s face.
“I didn’t know what to bring so I just brought cookies. I think I burnt them though.” You mumble. Kiyoomi gives you a nod in acknowledgment as you set the platter of charred baked goods on the counter. “Soo… are ya gonna introduce me?”
“Samu. What is she doing here?” Atsumu chokes out. You scoff.
“I’m literally standing right here.”
“What? I can’t invite our own sister to my apartment?” Osamu gives an innocent shrug.
“This was supposed to be a guys night!” Atsumu complains childishly.
Shoyo pipes in, “I don’t mind! The more people the better. Right, Bokuto? ….Bokuto?”
–
If you had asked Koutaro then, he would have sworn he had never seen a more beautiful girl. The moment you walked in the door it was like he lost all of the air in his chest. He almost texted Keiji to ask what a heart attack felt like. His heart thumped in his chest and he could feel his hands start to get sweaty. Pretty girl. I’m not good around pretty girls.
He didn’t even realize that he was being spoken to until Shoyo poked his arm. “Huh? Wha? Oh- Yes. Stay. Please.” Everyone just kind of stares at him for a moment before moving on. He accidentally stares at you while you get introduced to Shoyo, yet you don’t notice till Atsumu tries introducing him. You give a shy smile and a wave, and that's all he needs to see to know that he's a goner.
–
You had never taken a good look at Koutaro Bokuto before this, and boy do you wish you had. Everything about him had you feeling weak in the knees. He was very built, taking up a large portion of the sofa that he was sitting on. You had snuck a glance at his back while walking in and Jesus. That man was built like a Greek god. His golden eyes seemed to never leave your figure, and he kept giving you a dopey smile. You give a small smile back and wave, hoping you don’t make a fool of yourself. Later, you swore you saw Osamu give you a thumbs up, but he denies it.
Everyone else flocks to the kitchen to start getting something to eat, yet you and Koutaro stay behind. You hesitantly sit down beside him, a few feet away. You both give sheepish smiles directed at the other, not sure what to say. Just then, Osamu comes back. “Darn. We’re out of soy sauce. Koutaro, (Name), do ya guys mind going to the market and grabbing some?” He says, not very convincingly.
Shoyo gives him a confused look and starts, “But there was some-”
“Shush.”
Koutaro immediately shoots up from his seat. “Yeah, we can get it!” He gives you a beaming smile and you can’t help but return in. He lends you a hand up from the sofa, practically bouncing with excitement. “We’ll be back soon.” Osamu gives you a wink and pats your back.
“Take your time.”
You and Koutaro are silent for a while as you walk to the nearest market. You notice that while his strides are larger than yours, he slows his pace to match yours. He shoves his hands in his pockets and takes a glance around
“So, what do you do for fun?” He turns and asks suddenly. You hum in thought.
“I guess I hang out with my brothers a lot. I watch movies alone sometimes. Work has kept me busy recently, so I haven’t been doing much recently.” He nods in understanding.
He clears his throat before inquiring, “You don’t watch movies with your boyfriend?”
You smile and shake your head, laughing. “No, I don’t have one.” He stops walking and gawks at you.
“Seriously?! You're single?!” You raise your eyebrows in surprise and nod slowly.
“Yeah.. why? Is it that surprising?” He shakes his head yes enthusiastically.
“I totally thought you’d be married or something, you're so pretty.”
You go quiet. “Really?”
“Yes! Really! Man, I thought I had like no shot.” He adds. You both freeze and look at each other wide eyed.
“Huh?”
“What?”
You sputter and point at him. “Ya just- ya said ya thought-”
“I- well-!” You both stand on the sidewalk, fidgeting with your hands. He scratches his head and blushes. “Are you free tomorrow?”
You had never said yes faster in your life.
–
You two were dying of laughter, wiping your eyes from tears. “Man, I wish I had sisters.” You say.
“Yeah, they're pretty cool.” He says matter of factly. You both had gotten sidetracked and never ended up going to the market. Currently, he and you were sitting on a pair of swings at a local park. Your phone buzzes softly and you apologize to him before checking it.
Tsumu: where tf did you go
You: don’t cockblock me <3
Tsumu: PARDON?
You click your phone to silent before turning back to Koutaro. “Now, where were we?”
–
It only took a few dates before he asked you to be his girlfriend. You agreed, of course. You would've said yes if he had asked the night you met, if you were honest. Atsumu begrudgingly gave Koutaro his blessing to propose a couple years into dating. Osamu was a bit offended that he didn't ask him, considering he was responsible for you two meeting.
Koutaro was terrible at keeping secrets, so he ended up proposing the second he got home after ring shopping. You felt a bit ambushed, having been washing dishes in unwashed pajamas, but it was still a definite yes.
Currently, Atsumu was walking up to the mic to give a speech during your wedding. You rest your head on Koutaro’s shoulder, and he intertwines your fingers. Atsumu pokes the microphone and the feedback screeches, bothering everyone.
“Ahem. Now, if anyone knows me, they know I love my sister. That, and I only want what's best for her. That having been said, I would like a ‘thank you’ for this marriage, considering it was my idea to get ya together.”
“Liar!”
note: i just realized i keep writing the twins shushing people lol. Bokuto is so fun to write for 😭 he’s so silly
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq x reader#hq#haikyuu x female reader#bokuto koutarou#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto x reader#hq bokuto#bokuto x fem reader#fem!reader#bokuto koutaro x reader#hq timeskip#timeskip bokuto#haikyuu fluff#request
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The way I just want to hug Luke Newton and apologize on behalf of the entire Polin fandom for the shit he had to go through over a f*** picture taken without his consent. Like, I get it was the crazies, but still. Being part of the Taylor Swift fandom and seeing how she disappeared for a damn year over a leaked video taken without her consent and taken out of context villainising her... I know it must have hurt. And we can say it was months ago and that he knows who his true fans are, but still, that stuff would affect anyone, specially someone as sensitive as he is. I usually mind my own business and do not ship real people, heck, I usually do not even go online and "protect" celebrities. I tend to just focus on the happy and celebrate the characters they play but something about that June 13th and the look on his face... it haunts me to this day. And I just feel very very bad for him still.
I am deeply aware of the fact that I know nothing about his life, not really. I only know about his feelings for Polin and Nicola, because he has spoken about them. I have access to the same amount of information as the rest of the world, the pictures and videos of their WT and behind the scenes, the interviews he has done. I do not know anyone in his life and I should not have to. Neither do I know Nicola. And hey, maybe it never happens. Maybe they are happy with someone else (I doubt it, but this is just a feeling I have) and their relationship remains unique and the millions of questions we have never get answered. My point is, I got into this fandom because seeing their bond brought me joy. I don´t think them having other people in their lives diminishes that, which is why the hate he got over one picture never sat right with me. I do not get how it affects someone´s viewing experience of a show. I do not understand why we are so focused on labelling people´s relationships, as if it is as easy as saying a pencil is pink or green. It makes me happy seeing their videos and waiting for crumbs. I have fun hoping that what I truly see as more than platonic feelings will come to fruition.
I write this because the world is in shambles right now. And the last thing anyone needs is to add more negativity to it. So, I hope that we can, in the Lukola fandom, be kind and focus on the good. I do not give a shit about paparazzi photos or whatever the "adjacents" or however you want to call them do. In fact, I have not once looked at A´s or JD´s SM, nor do I want to. They are human beings, but not the human beings I care about. Even if they are involved in Luke and Nic´s lives, I will never send them hate or bad mouth them. I have no idea what they are to them. All I know is what L and N have said about each other. And it has always been good. So, that is where I will be.
And, yes, I truly believe they will be together. And I will be happy with anything that suggests it so, cause this is supposed to be fun and joyful. I, unlike other people, do not label people as gf or bf UNLESS it comes directly from the people involved. And if anyone ever confirms or launches anything, I will still be here. Cause that is what shipping is. Not hate, not negativity, not putting other people down, not invading someone´s privacy, not thinking that a moment in time is forever (people break up all the time, there is no way to know if someone is still with someone if there was never a "launch" or whatever you want to call it).
It would make both Luke and Nicola sad to see that a connection that is supposed to bring people joy is putting people against each other. I know we were so well fed with content over so many months that now we hold onto every detail we have not dissected yet. I get it. I also miss them. But that is the way it is supposed to be. We are not supposed to know everything. We are just supposed to be grateful and happy for when something good related to them happens. That is all and that is my hope for this fandom.
Spread joy and leave the rest out of it. Spiralling only makes people dizzy. Let us "get some vision, bro" like Luke said.
Thank you for reading and, remember, be kind to one another.
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♡ THOSE THREE DAYS : : 이 동혁 [LEE DONGHYUCK] | YOUR GALLERY
♡ 120322 - YOUR BIRTHDAY : : No, you didn't tell him that it was what you wanted but he knew it. How? Because, he listens as much as he speaks. He loves it when you tell him your interests and he thinks that he should know. How else would he know that you'd be the happiest if he took you to the bookstore? Ever since he knew, he plans these dates that revolves around reading. He gets you a book and lies on your lap while you read it to him. He got that little moon lamp you wanted for your study table. Anything that makes you comfortable. He even tries to get into it, though he's more of a movie person. But who would have thought he would just show up at 10 in the morning asking you to get ready and take you to the bookstore on your birthday? He'd have the whole day planned, and you can just relax and switch off your brain. (He'd not forget to take a selca from your phone to set it as your wallpaper, though. It is to shoo away people he says.) The day will end with you talking to him in your softest voice as you scroll through bookstagram and him staring at you with so much love.
♡ 060622 - HIS BIRTHDAY : : It's your time to plan. A day to celebrate the sunshine in your life. It's one of those outdoor dates you planned. Take him to a nice outdoor restaurant which has a killer view and delicious food. What you had thought would be a romantic date turned into a mini circus? You watch him be silly and adorable while you wait for the orders to arrive. One minute he is sitting and next he's hanging off a tree branch. There's never dull moment around him. You click pictures all throughout the day to reminisce because you had been the happiest while watching him. You'd say he's the weirder one out of you both while you watch him pose in intriguing ways. This is that one hell of a day that you'd never forget.
♡ 090922 - THAT DAY THAT HE LET EVERYONE KNOW : : You didn't think that he would. Your relationship with him had always been private, and you had been satisfied with that. On a random day, he asked you if you minded making your relationship public. You had said no because as much as you loved the 'private but not secret' game, you've always wanted to play the 'public and don't give a fuck' game. You are dating Lee Haechan, and you are flexing it because he's that good of a lover. But you hadn't really thought that he would just say it. You thought it was a fleeting thought that comes and goes whenever he sneaks into your bed at 3. You still remember how it went on that day and you understood why he bought you VIP tickets to that concert, THE DREAM SHOW 2, IN A DREAM in Seoul. You had been taking pictures of him all night charming everyone in his rockstar like glory. It was during the last ment he had spoken about you, and his words still are carved into your heart.
"여러분 오늘 밤에는 중요한 사람을 소개하고 싶습니다. 그녀는 내가 달려가는 팔이었고, 내가 울부짖는 어깨였고, 내가 꼭 안고 있는 마음이었다. 그녀는 나를 태양이라고 부르기 때문에 나는 그녀가 나의 달이라고 생각한다고 여러분에게 말하고 싶습니다. 달에 대한 사랑을 숨겨야 한다는 건 억울한 일이겠죠?"
[ Everyone, there's an important person I want to introduce tonight. She has been the arms I run to, the shoulder I cry on, and the heart I hold close. She calls me her sunshine, and so i want to tell you guys that I think she's my moon. it's unfair that i have to hide my love for the moon, right?]
The spotlight is on you as Haechan smiles and walks closer to the side you are in, looking up ardently. That playful smile never left. No one noticed the tremble in his voice but you did. You place your hand against the glass and look at him with a soft smile. You see his glassy eyes and you tell him not to cry.
"달이 참 아름답죠? 너희들은 내가 달을 가지고 있는 걸 부러워하지?"
[The moon is beautiful, isn’t it? You guys are envious that I have the moon, right?]
He chuckles while the rest of the dream laugh at him, all because he's looking not the moon but at you, just you.
: MYST
#lee haechan#haechan scenarios#nct haechan#haechan smut#hyuck#haechan#haechan x reader#haechan fluff#haechan headcanons#nct fluff#nct#nct dream#nct u#nct 127#nct angst#nct soft hours
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Bench time ♥️ last official day of class maybe ever, just gotta turn a few things in
#annoyed that i'm sad annoyed that i want to be celebrating but i'm really just exhausted#but we stay silly#i mean in a couple of years i'm sure i'll get bored & go back to school if i can manage it#it's not like my last time to celebrate anything ever#it's just i worked really hard to even get this far and get out of my hometown#and pushed through a lot of stuff that wasn't really school related. the degree itself wasn't difficult i was just in hell at the time#took forever#i just wish i could feel some type of victory or like excitement for the future or. vindication that i didn't quit or something u know?#anyway. enough about that time to refocus on stuff i am excited about#sitting in the sun getting good snacks working on my fics watching funny sitcoms
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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,
or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs
#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing#like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally#it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday#now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand#but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's#the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs#so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians#but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them#i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun#n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now#everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it#ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing#like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn#& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing#idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase#i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro#sugar papi ted#hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it#but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing#i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake#but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same#like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno#if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose#i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like#im unwell when it comes to that#idk is anyone else like this#anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time#of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk#i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright
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☆ ─ TO THE MOON AND BACK :
happy birthday @sukichuu 🖤
#bang chan#chan#stray kids#bystay#createskz#a9gifs#*gfx#*ccarly#*chan#*carly:chan#idek if i tag this but whatever. this is for LI!!!! AND LI ONLY#this looked way better in my head and i messed some shit up but i know it'll make u cry anyway and that's what matters <3#me getting this idea literally at like 11 pm last night while i was looking for smth to dojsklfgjlsdfjlsg#but darling jestie beloved!! happy birthday i know this is a hard day for you everyyyy year#but i'm so happy this is the third birthday of yours i get to celebrate :(( and i will always celebrate#bc i am so happy u were born on this day!! i'm gonna say that to u in a msg too i'm sure but i'll say it 50 billion times!!#you are so dear to me i know ur gonna say i didn't have to do anything for u but i had to ok. bc i had the idea and i love you#and i'll make u 50 billion things if it means bringing u a little more joy <3#ok that's enough from me here.#raise ur hands if you've ever been personally victimized by the oddinary and maxident album covers btw. ugly bitches
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i'm so glad i didn't inherit the alcohol enjoying gene
#i stopped drinking for the most part a few years ago#i just realized i didn't like who i was when i was drunk and i didn't like the after effects either#and it was incredibly easy for me to stop#i will have a beer once in a while or a glass of wine at a celebration#but i don't have more than one. i just. don't want to lol#i don't enjoy it!#i also think alcohol is lowkey evil#i just found out my uncle basically has alcohol induced dementia#apparently he's. basically gone.#and i just fucking hate it i fucking hate that alcohol has that much power over people#but i know it's something my siblings have inherited and i do worry about it!#i think they'll be fine.....#my sister has already kind of hopped on the alcohol free train with me#but it's more of a struggle with her#and idk anyways i'm just. i hate alcohol lol#i feel indescribably lucky that i didn't inherit any of that because i fear if i enjoyed alcohol it would be easy for me#to follow in my father's footsteps very closely#fr though like my last blackout was just so fucking bad#i'm honestly still wondering if i was drugged#or if it was just because i had so many other health issues at the time......#but i honestly never ever want to experience anything like that ever again
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something abt realizing you're listening to someone sing for the last time really hits in an awful way
#so there's this girl who's a year above me and to say that she's good at singing is an understatement. if the goddess of song#herself were to appear in front of me or anyone who's ever heard a note come from her mouth and asked which one was more talented the only#appropriate answer would be that the goddess pales in comparison. i first heard her voice at the auditions for our middle school musical in#the sixth grade and i've been in shock and awe ever since. it's in the name of her voice that i decided i wanted to learn how to write musi#bc i cannot sing but wanted nothing more than some sort of reason to stand next to her. and by some twist of fate. i took music theory last#semester and guess who ended up sitting directly next to me. and who i also said no more than maybe 5-10 words to the entire time. . whoops#in my (and her) defense. it's not like she's unapproachable or anything. she's one of the genuinely kindest people i've ever encountered bu#the problem is. it's a music theory class. i was the only one in it not affiliated w the music department. and everyone in it had known eac#other for 4-7 years. even my like. actual friend in the class was ignoring me a lil (he wasn't he was just hanging out w his closer friends#and so i kept to myself the entire semester bc i didn't want to feel like i was intruding on anything + am terminally shy#(like. to the point where i get physically ill bc of it)#flash forward to today in ap world w our song parody project. our teacher was showing past examples from previous classes and guess who too#the class last year. and ofc. you Do Not get [name redacted] working on a project w/out having her sing for you#her group made a stalin-themed mr sandman parody and our teacher paused the video halfway through and it was my own personal 9/11#bc there's no good reason for our paths to ever cross again. unless she becomes some celebrity. which i have no doubt she could if merit wa#the only factor at play there. i will never hear her voice again and i'm not sure what i'm going to do abt that.#romeo.txt
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i think the worst thing about losing old friends is when the friends you lose are the exact kind of people who simultaneously understand the impulse to want to grow away and can’t understand why you would cave in. because it’s like. i never really know how to explain what went wrong because i already know that they know in theory the kinds of things that can happen but how to actually explain it is impossible. it’s. very hard to be friends with me i guess
#especially over the internet it's like. i'm trying. i know i'm trying and they have to know that i'm trying or at least i tried#but it was like. i spent six months fighting for my life to stay in contact with them#but that was during my breakdown last year. so i could talk to them but i also couldn't#because i didn't even know who they were anymore like i literally did not know#and once that happens for so long too it's like. how do you come back#how do you fix things#now there are like 5 new people i haven't met before#that are there and i know that their combined power can fill the hole i may not have even left but#i don't know. i wished them a happy winter solstice because i needed an excuse to tell them that i hope they're okay#without having to admit that i still read their messages and i still care even when i don't know them#i don't think they know anything about me anymore and that's fine i'm fine with it#i wish them happy birthdays sometimes. one of them still keeps in touch#i spend time mourning and celebrating the rest of their life even when they don't know i'm there#and that has to be terrifying but . but i don't know#it's really complicated but they're all good people it's just#i think i knew from the start it was never going to stick#i wish i had a choice for things to work i wish that was in my cards even slightly#and i know i could have like i know it's my fault but#when you have a group of people who knew you best when you were at your absolute worst#how do you face them ever again
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my tags on that went on for so long i had to go back and edit them to fit tag limit and i still had to delete a bunch of them. Its the autism it literally is
#funerary practices and the afterlife and body disposal methods and just. grief and mourning in general r like. My bigggg autism thing i dont#talk abt it a lot bc 1 i just Dont shut up once i get going 2 a lot of ppl dont want to hear abt stuff like that which is fine. kicked pupp#expression. i just find it very very interesting to see how different ppl grieve and whats considered like. Right and wrong when it comes t#care of the body yk. bc like. most/every culture has their practices and anything outside of that feels wrong to them bc its like. yk its s#pivotal idr the exact anecdote/story but caitlin doughty mentioned it in one of her books where like. there were 2 groups and one cremated#their dead and the other practiced mortuary cannibalism and both viewed the other as barbaric and it rly shaped how i view it like. yk. its#rly something so personal where even when the way someone grieves makes you uncomfortable its like. you cant force someone to grieve in a#way thats palatable to you. yk. for a rly long time washing the body and being with the body after death was a rly important part of grief#in like. usamerican culture its only more recently that it became wayyy less common w the rise of funeral homes and stuff. and obv for many#ppl that wouldnt be comforting but i think it could be for a lot of ppl..#my personal belief on it is everyone should be allowed to grieve and dispose of the dead As they want and that should be like. yk. theres#the nebulous term of Desecration which is legally rly difficult to define there r a lot of states where the law is 'if it would outrage#normal family values' which is just so fucking stupid obviously like. whos family. bc every single person has a different view on whats#appropriate yk... IDK. i think as long as its relatively safe for the living and as long as its not like. Against the wishes of the decease#like. if someone says they want a burial and then theyre cremated (not out of necessity like 4 financial stuff) im like. yk. obv theyre dea#but i think its important to honor their last wishes... yk. and that should go for like. If someone wants an open pyre cremation that shoul#be available... if someone wants aquamation etc. IDK. etc. like. another thing is with embalming while i wish it werent De Facto ppl r#railroaded into it i entirely disagree w ppl who say it should be wiped out entirely like. there r environmental ramifications 4 sure and i#love for that to be more like. talked abt... but embalming is rly important to a lot of ppl and idt its right to shit all over that. idt it#necessary for every death i personally dont see the point of embalming for like. a peaceful death with a quick funeral and theyre getting#cremated after. but ik like. for a lot of black families embalming is very important for like. a reclamation esp in violent or traumatic#deaths its very important to have like. a funeral with a viewing. and i think thats something that shouldnt be taken away from anyone ever.#even like. ik this is controversial but extreme embalming w/ posing and stuff as long as thats what the decease wanted like. i think its#awesome !! i Dont agree w taking the corpses of the poor or disenfranchised to prop up for art pieces Personally but like. there r ppl who#want to be displayed like that like. riding their motorcycle one last time or ummm. that posthumous concert that happened. i get how it can#seem morbid or wtvr but like. the families r happy with that its what those ppl wanted and it like. its a celebration of their life and#their interests and i think thats super important. BASICALLY.#ok tag limits coming so im cutting myself off for sure this time. but wtvr. i hope this makes sense to anybody else sorry i rambled. im ver#passionate abt it KJBADKJBDKJ
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Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.
It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.
To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.
This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.
Join me below, if you would.
2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.
Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadn’t even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.
It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.
But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.
The next day, we’re on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that she’s surprised the two of us aren’t up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.
“Everyone else?” Goes I, “I thought they would’ve shut that down already?”
“Oh no!” goes she, “The courts aren’t open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. They’re doing them all weekend long!”
We didn’t know because social media wasn’t a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as I’d read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.
"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, it’s a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but we’re not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?
The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.
We had slightly miscalculated.
Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone who’d gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.
“Isn’t City Hall closed on Monday?” I asked. “It’s a holiday”
“Oh sure,” they reply, “but people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.”
“Oh cool,” we go, “Backup.”
“Make sure you’re here if you do,” they say, “because the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.”
And all this shit is super not-legal, so they’ll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.
00000
We don’t get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.
It’s… incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of others’ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.
At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, “That’s Newsom.” He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.
Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.
So dusk is starting to fall. It’s February, so it’s only six or so, but it’s getting dark.
“Should we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?” we ask.
“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.” One of the volunteers tells us. “We’re not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. We’d need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.
Monday is the last day to do this, after all.
00000
So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.
The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people who’re up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.
“Uh.” We go. “What the fuck is -this-?”
So.
Remember why they weren’t going to be able to have people hang out overnight?
Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties that’d gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.
It’s 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least weren’t likely to loose job protections any time soon.).
Then it starts to rain.
We had not dressed for rain.
00000
Here is how the next six hours go.
We’re in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. It’s around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and you’ve got a makeshift raincoat! So you’ve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.
Everyone is so happy.
Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.
People online start making delivery orders.
Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because they’re just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.
A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all we’re sinning and to please don’t. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against God’s will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.
The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how “Not even DOGS do such things!” Which… Yes they do.
A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that we’re willing to come out in the rain to do this while they’re not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.
Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall we’re on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when we’re on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when we’re on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.
00000
We have Line Neighbors.
Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. They’ve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. He’s worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. They’d started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.
The most perky energetic joyful woman I’ve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. She’s their local friend who’d just gotten their message about what they’re doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.
Behind us are a lesbian couple who’d been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. “We met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because it’s our first love city.”
“Then they announced -this-,” the other one says, “and we can’t leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.”
“I told them why,” her partner says, “I don’t care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.”
My husband-to-be and I look at each other. We’ve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? We’re potentially taking a spot from another couple that’d been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.”
“Don’t you fucking dare.” Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.
“This is as much for you as it is for us!” says the lesbian couple who’ve been together for over a decade behind us.
“You kids are too cute together,” says the gay couple’s friend. “you -have- to. Someday -you’re- going to be the old gay couple that’s been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.”
We stay in line.
It’s while we’re on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. “Can we say we’re with you? His uncles are already inside and they’re not letting anyone in who isn’t with a couple right there.” “Of course!” we say.
The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but there’s free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so he’s having a great time.
We pass by a statue of Lincoln with ‘Marriage for All!’ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.
It’s about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.
They’ve promised that anyone who’s inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. We’re safe.
We still have a -long- way to go.
00000
They’re trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways I’m not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.
It’s after we’ve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. “It’s an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you don’t have to do it there!”
We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.
We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.
I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.
The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.
Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.
The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.
A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. She’s done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. “Oh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today I’m acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-“
The guy behind the counter has been there since six. It’s now 1:30. He’s still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. “Alright, go to the Rotunda, they’ll direct you to someone who’ll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, they’ll direct you to -that- line.” “Can’t you just mail it to us?” “Normally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, we’re not going to be allowed to.”
We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.
If you’ve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, you’ve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.
That’s for the people who didn’t bring their own wedding officials.
There’s a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. They’re doing the whole damn thing. There’s at least one more Rabbi at work, I can’t remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.
We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)
I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I can’t get the ring on my husband’s finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.
There really isn’t a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that we’d made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands who’d cheered for us generally.
Then we're married.
Then we get in line to get our license.
It’s another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayor’s office.
Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked “THANK YOU!”s that have been piled up against it.
We make it to the marriage records office.
I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then we’re done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.
It's almost 3PM.
00000
There are cheers, there’s rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. It’s no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. There’s barely even any news vans.
We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading ”Congratulations!” jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.
I’m at the BART station, we’re waiting for our train back south, and I’m sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. “Hey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just… I’m so happy for you. I’m so proud of what you could do. I’m- I’m just really glad, glad you could get to do this.”
He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.
Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.
We get back to our car and climb in.
It’s 4:30 and we are starving.
There’s a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.
We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what we’d just done.
We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.
The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsom’s marriages.
My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. “No! No one knew that they’d go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! I’ll just be there for the next one!”
00000
It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didn’t even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was “marriage really isn’t that important, aside from the legal benefits. It’s just confirming what you already have.”
But maybe it’s just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and I’ve never really come up with a better metaphor is, “It’s like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each other’s support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.
It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.
I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. It’s been twenty years and we’re still together and still married.
We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. We’d done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husband’s collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.
Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.
It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldn’t negate it that time.
Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"
And that was that.
00000
When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didn’t expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldn’t see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.
I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before I’d barely started by 30s. I never thought I’d be in my 40s and it’d be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers would’ve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.
I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.
I never thought I’d live in this world.
And it’s twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.
I don’t have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you can’t predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.
The future we’re resigned to doesn’t have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.
And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those who’re against it will brave.
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KENJI SATO ✰ 10:43
“Working overtime really doesn’t suit you, Sato.” The teasing sentence made Kenji grunt in disapproval, slumping against his couch.
“Wow, I didn’t notice. Thank you for that valuable input, [Name],” he says, rolling his eyes at you.
He can’t help the sarcastic reply. Kenji’s schedule was all over the place. His life has been all over the place ever since his return to his home country, Japan. And now he not only has to take care of himself—which, in his defense, was fairly simple when he just had to worry about himself—he has to worry about an infant Kaiju!
What a wonderful (not) icing on the cake.
“Ken is really appreciative that you made time to fulfill his request, or, shall I say, cry for help, [Name].” Mina’s familiar voice flurried from a distance, closing in to your right in a breeze.
“Hey! It was not a cry for help—it’s more like a... Asking a friend for a favor,” Kenji says, trying to ease his brain with what’s coming out of his mouth (like it was on autopilot, scrambling to defend himself and the pride he had left).
“Uh huh. And the favor is? I don’t really think there’s anything I could do to her containment unit or any repairs that’re needed in this place.”
“I just need someone to watch over her.”
(“I just need someone to talk to” is a much fitting phrase.)
“Doesn’t Mina already do that?”
“There’s only so much a supercomputer like me can do to entertain a living being, [Name].”
On cue, Emi croons at the video of you singing on stage. A part time career of yours, because when you’re not developing new tech that boosts the economy, you might as well indulge in your hobbies.
Kenji wouldn’t admit it, but he has a vinyl or two—or even a whole collection of them—that he considers as priceless as his one-of-a-kind sports car displayed in the basement.
“Would you look at that? She likes your singing.”
He watches as you take a step closer to Emi, observing how she delightedly squealed at the soft melody being played on the holograms. This 20-foot-tall baby Kaiju reminded you of the time you took care of children at the daycare center.
“I just...” he sighs. You didn’t even notice that Kenji was already beside you, offering you a canned drink.
“How do you do it? Juggle everything?” He murmurs. “You’re the busiest person I know. Working on your thesis, performing at various concerts, taking on charity work, and whatnot. Hell, if you could run for president, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you in the elections, too.”
A quiet laugh was returned. “It’s not easy, that’s for sure. But within time, you’ll learn just what you need and what you can handle.”
“Mm. Don’t you ever just want to run away from all the responsibilities people place on your shoulders? I can barely take care of this young lady,” he chuckles, though it doesn’t hold even the slightest ounce of humor to it.
“I wish, but then I’ll remember the kids who're so happy to see me whenever I drop by,” you say. “They may be a handful at times, but you’ll be surprised to know just how smart and caring they are. How they take in their surroundings and attempt to figure out who they are. We’re all what they have. The least we could do is give them our time and love all the same.”
Kenji lets your words sink in. Simple and touching. The kind that gets the gears in his head to start twisting.
“You really are a charm with your words; did you know that?”
“Thanks; I try my best.”
The night continues with Kenji and Emi playing baseball on a simulated field with you by the shed, cheering on from a safe distance. Kenji doesn’t remember the last time he’s been this genuinely happy after his return to Japan. It’s a refreshing feeling that he wants to get used to again. To see the baby Kaiju successfully hit the ball with a swift swing after watching after him is a sight that tugs at one’s heartstrings.
Just like a proud father.
“Come on, girl! We gotta run the bases!”
And as the two celebrate their moment of triumph, the baby Kaiju stomps toward you and giggles happily as she hoists you in the air without much warning. You took it all in you not to shriek and absolutely lose all composure, but when you’re up in the air and are being held to a bear hug like some sort of teddy bear by a Kaiju that could probably crush your bones if not careful, it’s hard to not just scream for your life.
“Oh, ok—ok. Baby, put me down gently, please,” you chuckle nervously.
“It appears that the little one sees you as her other mother,” Mina adds.
Kenji laughs at the sight, pulling out his phone to take a picture. This is definitely a memory he’d want to remember.
“This is not funny, Kenji. Tell her to put me down.”
“Aw, is Baby not listening to her Mommy?”
“Again, not funny. This is like an out-of-the-blue co-parenting a child with you. With you being my annoying ex-husband.”
“Specific, eh?”
“Shut!”
When you’re just about to leave for the night, Kenji suggests that you sleep over. There’s a lot of spare bedrooms in their manor, he reasons. He also doesn’t understand what came over him to offer, but he doesn’t take it back.
But it could be because he’s missed you. And he’s somewhat afraid that this may be the last time you see each other in a while due to your clashing schedules.
“You’re such a girl dad, Kenji,” you tease.
“Haha, good one,” he says, rolling his eyes at you. He took a couple of blankets from the closet and placed them on the bed.
“Just saying.”
“Whatever you say, Mommy.”
“Oh hush, Daddy.”
That ringed out a laugh from him. “Bleh, that sounds so embarrassing coming from you.”
You shrugged. “Hm? Don’t you think you’re embarrassing too?”
“I’m not.”
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are too. I will not be going back and forth like this with you anymore, Kenji Sato. Good night!”
Kenji can’t hide the smile that appears on his face. Yeah, he definitely missed this.
Definitely missed you.
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#kenji sato x reader#ken sato x reader#kenji x reader#kenji sato#ken sato#ultraman#ultraman rising#sato kenji#‹𝟹 𓏲🗒️ꜝֶָ֢ ʾʾ
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