#it's not like im much of a drinker anyway

[merf-txt]

.

[ruporas]

drank too much

[ID: Digital Art of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. Vash’s body is turned slightly away from the viewer as he holds a staggering Wolfwood by his shoulder. He has one foot ahead of the other, the foot in the back used to stabilize himself from tipping over. Wolfwood is tethering into Vash, his weight pressed into him with his arms wrapped around Vash’s waist and his face is hidden away as he leans against Vash’s shoulder. Vash’s expression can be seen, his eyes wide and mouth tight-lipped, and his face is flushed red. A speech bubble comes out from Wolfwood, saying a drawled “Spikeyyy...”. The background are desaturated pastels of blue and green, showing night time, as they stand in the middle of an empty street that is also lit by the moon not depicted. Yellow light is seen coming from the inside of a saloon. End ID]

[toytulini]

it is baffling to me that ppl keep insisting "if its not sprite then what IS it tho?" and seemingly do not...retain the recipes that are being shared. like you dont have to memorize them its just repeatedly "is lemonade not sprite though? how is it not sprite?"

"its lemon juice, water, and sugar"

"is it not the same as sprite?" no we just told u. does that sound like sprite to you. does sprite give you the vibe of juicing some lemons on a hot summer day? the lemonade version closest to Sprite over here, in terms of Being Lemonade, is still Notably Different from sprite, or any other soda, is probably Minute Maid, a highly processed branded lemonade that you can occasionally get from soda fountains (DESPITE! NOT BEING CARBONATED! similar to how they somehow dispense iced or sweet tea from soda fountains) it sometimes comes in a can or 2L bottle similar to soda, in the soda isle. and its Not Soda. its not Carbonated. its Trying To Pretend So Hard To Be Real Lemonade. it tastes like lemonade thats a bit sad. it is far more lemonade than SPRITE will ever be. if yall were simply insisting that lemonade is carbonated, that it was like, fizzy minute maid, that would be less offensive than calling sprite lemonade. which is Insane. good god.

[xxvinwestley]

rip the mfs that hced izzy as a non-drinker

(its me im mfs)

[0-twentyone]

I don’t wanna sound like a hater but I have been suspicious about this for a while now.

[emjiroki]

Changing my theme once I make my coffee ❤️

[catscidr]

// what's the difference between scotch and whisky anyways //

i. note — /edit/ i said i would fix the formatting later and Now is later hi hellooo. sorry for not posting, i suddenly couldnt bring myself to write for more than five minutes at a time lmaoa ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) but i hope the dottore enjoyers like this at the very least. rn im working on chapter 3 of fbbts and a darker, separate dottore/reader one shot and a couple of jjk fics if anyone would even be interested in reading them lol. but in the meantime, here's drunken shenanigans ft everyone's favorite war criminal ii. includes — dottore x gn!reader, webttore (beta) and omega cameos. various mentioned harbingers iii. cw — fluff, crack sorta, alcohol stuff, dottore is ooc because he's Not Sober, everyone is clingy. fun stuff yk iv. wc — 3,5k -> ao3 link

It’s a popular stereotype that Snezhnayans are heavy drinkers, but the fact lies within the fatui. They’re shameless; whether it’s showing up to work inebriated or drinking on the job, they’ll hold onto the ‘snezhnayans have a high alcohol tolerance’ stereotype with clenched fists and a bottle at their lips. 

However, that fact only applies to the lackeys—agents that are stationed for hours on end without a break, agents that, at times, need liquid courage to face the horrors that come with the job. The Harbingers are an entirely different case. 

They balance each other, in a way. Where Tartaglia can down three shots of fire water and come out virtually unscathed, Damselette would rather not be caught within a hundred meters of a drop of alcohol. Where The Knave occasionally enjoys a glass of wine in her office, The Balladeer sneers at the choice of drink. 

None came together to go out for drinks, if not because of their job taking up a lot of time out of their days. No, none of the Harbingers were really close enough to let themselves be seen so vulnerable, if one dared drink themselves to the point of being unable to walk in a straight line. 

Thus, there had only been rumors circulating the halls of Zapolyarny palace. Hushed speculations spoken between coworkers, told with an air of excitement. No one has ever seen their Lords in a state other than wholly glorious, so it’s only human nature to wonder just what they would be like if their dignity were knocked down a peg—how they would be if they indulged in simple human vices. 

There are two kinds of Harbingers; ones that lack any rumors about their drinking habits, and ones that are so intriguing that if you were to strike up a conversation with a fatui agent, you would start theorizing about what kind of drunk they’re like before saying hello. Tartaglia and The Knave are part of the former, along with The Rooster and The Fair Lady. The latter consists of (unsurprisingly) The Balladeer, our sweet Damselette, and the two big shots at the top. 

Rumors of The Captain’s drinking habits are usually quite short-lived. People either have too much respect for him to speculate about something as childish as how he acts when he’s had too much to drink, or fear him too much to risk spreading rumors. 

But regarding The Doctor... 

It’s no secret that, even if he is eccentric and has a penchant for unconventional research methods, he has quite the loyal following. Agents will rally to defend him if they hear anyone slandering him, insisting that he’s reasonable and logical. ‘If you simply do your job, you have nothing to worry about’ is what they’d say. 

Although he’s amassed his fair share of fans within the fatui, they’re unlike The Captain’s loyal following; The Doctor’s subordinates are the first to whisper theories about their boss’ drinking habits. He’s only part human now, so maybe alcohol doesn’t affect him the way it does normal people like Tartaglia. Oh, but he seems the type to need to unwind occasionally, so maybe he has a secret stash of wine somewhere in his office? What if, in his free time, he creates various concoctions and cocktails to drink? 

Seeing as he understands science deeper than anyone else, mixology should be a walk in the park for a scientist as lucrative as him. 

Wrong. 

“Shouldn’t you be working?” 

The glare sent your way is nothing short of vicious. There stood in front of you one of his segments, the one with the infamous short fuse. “Why are you here?” 

You internalize the sigh you want to let out, deciding against making him mad when it seems he can’t even stand straight for longer than a few seconds. 

“Lord Pantalone dismissed me early.” You strategically omit why he let you go in the first place. “Where’s Prime?” 

As per anything retaining to Il Dottore, your relationship was unconventional at best. The term closest to what you were, if you wanted to describe said relationship, would be lovers—but... not quite? Still. Neither you nor Dottore cared enough to put a clear label on it, so you’ve resorted to letting people speculate— it can be quite entertaining to listen to people guess while being loud and wrong, anyways. 

You used to work under him as one of his many researchers. When you both started taking your relationship seriously, he threw in the idea of promoting you to being his personal assistant; that way he could (give you special treatment) have someone more competent than his last assistant take care of “menial tasks” like his tedious paperwork. 

You refused the generous offer, insisting that it would be unprofessional to work under him as his partner. After many late-night discussions (and stubborn headbutting of differing opinions) you both have come to an agreement in which you would work for Lord Pantalone as a financial planner. 

(You finally managed to convince him by bringing up how you could, hypothetically, pull some strings on your end in his favor—that you could persuade Pantalone to allot more funding for his research. If he had any shame left, it would have been embarrassing how quickly he shook your hand to accept your conditions.) 

Now, while you spent most of your time in an office in The Regrator’s office building near the Palace, you occasionally came by to drop off documents. Of course, you would use your short trips as an excuse to go see Dottore (even if you could do so at any time anyways, given how much authority he had.) 

However, sometimes you just want to work. 

You’ll leave the comfort of your cubicle to go see him and the extensions of himself, sure, but you still had a job to do. Papers piled up, clients grew impatient, and even your boss wasn’t immune to their nasty attitude whenever he held a meeting with a particularly irritating client. Thus, sometimes you wished you could truly focus, lose track of time and work until your wrist forced you to take a break. 

This wouldn't happen today, clearly. Seeing as one of Dottore’s lackeys rushed to your office to bring you to the Haeresys, you most likely won’t be seeing your desk until further notice. 

Now you were stuck with a cryptic Beta, trying your best to use what little knowledge about the clones’ machinery you managed to wring out of your stubborn lover. 

“Where’s Prime?” You run a hand over your wrinkled coat sleeve, keeping your voice calm and steady. Patient, else you’d be subjected to the segment’s indignation. 

“Dunno.” 

You sigh. Is he a scientist or a child? “You do know. Where is he?” 

“I told you I don’t know!” He throws his hands up, accidentally striking his mask in the way—effectively leaving it to rest at an angle on his face. Most of his mouth showed now, instead of the half you’re used to seeing. And the holes for the eyes don’t quite go where they should... 

Blinking, you take in the sight in front of you while he calms down. His crimson eyes were glassy, and his lips formed a permanent pout, vastly out of character for a segment that supposedly represented The Doctor at the most volatile stage of his life. Azure locks curled around his cheeks, though they were usually tucked out of the way. His clothes were all wrinkled, in a way that left you wondering if you shouldn’t tend to him instead. Dealing with his attitude is annoying, but it’ll be amusing to think about later, I guess. 

“Do you really not know...?” 

“No.” 

“Then, do you know why I was called to the lab?” 

“No. Yes... probably not. Uh,” he crosses his arms over his chest and loses his balance for just a second, “I think I do.” 

You raise an inquisitive brow, silently encouraging him to continue. 

“Give me a second.” Beta shuts his eyes, shoulders slumping. His mask was still crooked—you had half a mind to fix it, but held back the twitch in your fingers. After a few seconds he pipes up, uncrossing his arms to reach out to you. 

“Come.” 

The segment grabs your wrist and drags you into the hallways of the Palace, ignoring your yelp of surprise and the stares of various agents lingering in the halls. You pass by ornate statues and paintings, the sight more unfamiliar than not. 

“Beta, where are we-” 

“Hush, I can’t walk when you’re talking my ear off.” 

...Right. Something is definitely wrong. 

After about five minutes of running around like headless chickens you tug your arm back, making Beta turn around indignantly. You lift your hands up in front of you before he can speak. 

“Did you mean to bring me to Lady Signora’s office?” you ask, lips curled up into a small smile seeing his mask still laid crooked on his face. With a gentle hand you fix it, cold fingers grazing his burning cheek. 

“...” 

Beta’s brows furrow as he avoids your gaze, huffing dramatically. Poor guy, you mused. 

“Alright, let’s go to the lab, then. He must be there, right? Where was Prime last time you saw him?” 

“...his office, probably,” he murmurs. 

With a nod and a smile akin to someone doing some gentle parenting, you place a hand on his back and help guide him to Haeresys. The stairs were hard to walk down, but with just a bit of patience and a bit of Beta clutching your arm while shouting that you were trying to assassinate him, you make it down in one piece. 

You remove your gloves and place your palm into the scan, then input the lengthy password to open the laboratory’s large doors. They slide open, revealing the absence of normal researchers and noise. You spot Omega standing over the remains of a ruin machine with a clipboard in his hands and look back towards Beta. 

“Go sit, I’ll go ask Omega about Prime’s whereabouts.” 

The clone nods, trudging his legs along to lay down on the leather couch tucked away in the lab. 

As you put away your large coat and hang it up in the small rack near the doors and make your way towards Omega, you notice the slow rhythm of his handwriting—when he’s usually seemingly speedrunning writing down notes, he’s now leisurely writing away, unaware of your presence. 

“Omega.” 

The latter turns to you, masking his surprise with a small smile instead. “My dear,” he practically purrs, putting away the clipboard in a swift movement, placing the pen in his coat pocket. 

“I was alerted that something was... off, with Prime. Do you know where he is?” 

And where you thought Omega would pick up on Beta’s lack of decorum, you were sorely mistaken. The clone walks up to you with that same smile brightening his features, placing both hands on your shoulders oh so gently. 

“He’s in his office. But enough about him, I haven’t seen you in a while, beloved. Why must you keep me away from you?” he muses, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your cheek. You tilt your head to avoid being stabbed by his mask’s beak, raising your hands to press against his chest to make some distance. The action proved to be futile, of course. 

We saw each other yesterday, you murmur. “I’m sorry, I’ll get back to you in a moment, alright?” You offer him a warm smile in hopes that he’ll listen, seeing as he seemed to be quite... mushy. 

It works, and he lets you go with a curt nod, retreating to go... somewhere. You didn’t linger around long enough to figure it out, since you knew where to go now. 

Walking across the lab, you note how things seemed to be more out of place than usual. It couldn’t have been a researcher, they always had to clean up after themselves, courtesy of their boss. So, the mess had to be caused by them... 

You finally stand in front of his door, raising a fist to knock. A yelp leaves you as you’re whisked away, the door slamming shut just as quickly as it swung open. 

“Dottor-” 

“Can you fucking believe how inept these agents are? They dare speak to me with such disrespect after delivering the lousiest job I’ve ever seen.” Dottore rambles, pulling you deeper into his office. You observe the state of his workspace, namely the papers scattered onto the ground and the... bottlecap on the floor, right next to his trashcan filled with crumpled up paper...? 

“Showing up in the lab with their damn hands empty save for the half empty bottle of scotch they tried to hide. Idiots were too shitfaced to notice how I noticed.” 

“Okay, Dottore, what are you-” 

He gestures wildly as he speaks, his hands the only way for you to read him as his mask hid most of his features. The blue lines taunt you; though you’re tempted to take it off, you feel like he might just lunge at you if you did. 

“And then they had the gall to insist that the bottle was theirs when I confiscated it.” Dottore pushes you down to sit on the couch, a small oof leaving you in consequence. “Anything that enters this fucking lab belongs to me, I’m the boss, I decide what flies and what does not.” 

Absolutely unaware of your muffled giggles as you piece things together, he keeps ranting, turning his back to you as he stomps away towards his desk. “Not to mention these damn lackeys have had multiple warnings up until now,” he spits out. “Lord Harbinger, we’re sorry! We’ll clean up the lab to make up for this offense! Lord Harbinger, it won’t happen again! Who do they take me for, a moron?!” 

The higher pitch he uses to imitate (and make fun of) the agents almost makes you lose it. But you keep your composure, sitting demurely, listening. 

Dottore comes back with a bottle in hand, orange liquid swirling around the thick glass as he stumbles closer to where you sat. He joins you without warning, creating a dip in the sofa next to you—almost forcing you to lean onto him for support. His free arm drapes over the back as he sighs loudly, making you stifle a laugh behind your hand. 

A pregnant pause stretches between the two of you as his anger simmers down to embers. You lean forward, attempting to take a look at the label on the bottle in his hand. 

“What’re you holding there, love?” you ask sweetly. Glancing up you’re able to steal a peek at his eyes from underneath his dark mask—Archons was he absolutely gone. 

It takes him a second to respond, almost as if he forgot you were even there in the first place. 

“Whisky.” 

“I thought it was scotch.” 

“Same thing.” 

“No it isn’t.” 

“Yes it is.” 

“No it’s n-” 

“It is.” 

Maybe it wasn't the brightest thing to do, messing with him while he’s this inebriated. But it sure was entertaining. 

“Alright. Well, how much did you drink?” 

“A sip or two.” 

As if on cue, he brings the bottle up to his lips and takes a swig. Your grin widens, thoroughly entertained by the show; who else had the privilege of seeing The Doctor so drunk he could barely formulate something that made sense? 

You bring his attention back on you as you place a hand on his knee, leaning close. Dottore immediately snaps into place, gaze flickering down to your lips from the proximity. 

With a swift hand you grab the scotch from his hands, inspecting the amount still left in the bottle. If he said it was half empty when he confiscated it, then... 

“Dearest, did you drink a quarter of this bottle?” You're not even supposed to drink it straight from the bottle, either is what you wished to add, but seeing how defensive he was already, you figured it would just make things more complicated than they needed to be.

As if stung by the Tsaritsa’s delusion, he immediately stiffens and defends himself. “I did not, I told you I only had a sip.” 

The way his bottom lip jutted out was almost cute, if you dared to describe him in such a way. Compliments could wait though; you had answers to seek. 

“Mhm, a sip. Well,” you put the bottle down on a coaster on the coffee table and turn to face him properly, “what happened to the segments? They’re all a little... woozy.” Your fingers trail his arm, tracing circles in their wake. 

Dottore swallows, Adam's apple bobbing as he opens his mouth to speak. “We’re connected, albeit loosely. They could be affected by the few sips of scotch I drank, though I would have some work cut out for me if that were the case. I can’t let them be so weak after all.” 

The way he spoke sounded, for lack of better words, pouty. 

Was he... sulking? 

“And since we’re connected, I know you spoke to Beta ‘n Omega earlier.” 

He most definitely is. He's even slurring his words, now...

“Yeah? I was asking them where you were so I could check up on you, baby.” You chuckle softly, taking the liberty of putting his mask away. Bright, glassy red eyes stare down into you, and you hold back the urge to smother his face in kisses. 

“You didn’t have to talk to them, you could have just asked me.” 

“I was looking for you, so I couldn’t have.” 

“Why not?” 

You scoff, smiling as you adjust yourself on the couch. Dottore notices and takes the liberty of pushing you down, laying his head down so his ear is on your chest, cheek pressed up into you. “I’m sorry, I’ll ask you next time,” you respond. 

That satisfies him, enough to render him silent for a handful of seconds before he speaks up again. 

“...I need to get back to work,” he huffs. 

You bring a hand up and run it through his disheveled locks, careful not to tug at the small knots in the hair at the back of his neck. Twirling the hair of his mullet you hum, noting how his weight seemed to grow heavier as the seconds passed. No way is he going to get any work done if he falls asleep here. 

“Take a break, you deserve it. In the meantime, you can think of a suitable way to punish those stupid agents from earlier, right?” 

A quiet hum is all you get in response. You look down expecting to see his unnerving red eyes to be staring up at you, but you’re met with the sight of his features completely lax instead. Azure hair pools around his face, settling on your chest where his face rose in time with your breaths. 

You would have dimmed the lights and turned off his computer if you knew he was going to keep you hostage on the couch. Though you can’t really complain at the turn of events; it’s rare for Dottore to be the one to initiate skinship in the relationship. 

It was quiet, but you managed to hear the low dear? that left his lips. You hum, not wanting to speak as to not break the quiet atmosphere lulling you to a sense of peace. 

After a minute of silence, you decide to repeat yourself—this time a little louder than before. “What is it?” 

Another minute passes, just as quiet as the last. The sound of his slow, deep breaths fills the room, accompanied by the low scratches of your nails on his scalp. His hair parts where your fingers tread through it, and you quietly note that you should trim his hair soon. 

Il Dottore’s poor alcohol tolerance will always be a mystery to the public, because there’s no way you would ever let anyone in on the way he cuddles up to you when he’s had too much to drink. 

[shotmrmiller]

Purely self indulgent ask cause im tipsy., but how would the 141 deal with a partner that was just tipsy enough to be giggly and sleepy?? I can def see JOhnny matching energy and making them laugh and matching energy, Gazx being also matching energy but aslo giving them water and soft, Price and Ghost i see as a mix of very amused and very "ok lovie, time to go to bed" and tucking them in. Anyway, thank you for writing your fics and drabbles i check your blog every day after work <3 Your underground fighter au! is my absolule fave, but babysitter is also soooo good too. sorry for my typos im sure are making this hard to read lol.

soap has drunk as much as you and isn't nowhere near pissed as but he finds it cute and doesn't police how much you drink but will eventually just hide the bottle like there's no more hen time for bed :)

kyle's watching you have a good time and def indulges you in every little thing. doesn't matter if your cackling at a picture of clifford the big red dog on x, he's chuckling with you. want chinese he knows you won't eat? already on the phone. yes, you can sing him a song. also drink your water.

john's a heavy ass drinker. sips on scotch all day if he can. smokes heavy too. def tells you to slow down and drink some water unless you wanna end up with a hangover tomorrow. he lets you smother his face with drunken kisses in front of everyone. doesn't gaf. if you're happy he's happy.

simon doesn't let you drink certain things. doesn't drink if yall are out in public either. someone's gotta keep you safe. he'll have a pint at most. but when yall come home post date, he breaks out his favorite kentucky and has you sit on your lap. watches the way you talk with your hands while slurring out a story he cannot understand but it's important he hears it so he's not interrupting you. water. tylenol.

edit: stfu not every day after work! i love you! 😭 i'm sorry i've been mia but i got something in the works that started as asshole simon that turned into he's fucking rude but also kinda slick with it so ig i'll let him in my pants and at least reader isn't a complete doormat just sorta kinda otherwise it'd be just kidnapping lmfao like unhand me sir!

[dansformations]

"Influencing influencers"

Im Byron, im kinda popular on the media, wouldnt call myself an influencer but at least an small celebrity for certain people: gay guys. Im popular between gay guys.

Then there is this guy, Tod, he do Is an influencer, another gay guy pretty popular, and we have done some colaboration videos, thanks to this i got a bit of highlights recently, getting more followers, but just some days ago Tod posted something off, at least for his usual:

Fart jokes? Superhero referentes? Both together!? Really weird if you ask me to. The situation got weirder when a lot of popular guys from the "gymbro side" of the media started comenting, celebrating his video... And he wrote back, in the weirder way posible:

"@markobroskii: Sick Bro! Superman Is next

@Tody_yourguy: Aded to the list broski!"

Didnt tought too much about It until he post a video that made my jaw drop:

He wasnt just wearing clothes that didnt match his usual but he was in the lingerie zone playing with the undies, saying he was making the zone 'More enjoyable to the View"

That sell the deal. I send his a message and went to his place to check on him.

In the way to his place i saw his @ on media changing to @Tod_thebro.

Wtf!?

When arrived, i notice diferences since he open the door, he stank!

- Jesus! Tod, thats your smell!?

- Yeah, some bro scent, go ahead bro, take a sit - he said With a voice that sounded diferent, he was talking with this "Frat Bro" acent we used to laugh about.

His apartament was now a mess, full of empty - and not so empty - pizza boxes, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, and sticky looking socks... He offer me a beer from a brand i didnt knew, but i'm not really a drinker so maybe thats why. I took it just to be polite, took some sips... Wasnt that bad.

Tried to find the cleanest place and thats where i sat.

- Sup bro, what did you wanna talk about?

- Well... About this... - I said looking around -Whats happening? First that gross fart video - I saw him chuckle when i mentioned that - then that also gross video on the lingerie store and Now... Look at your apartament, what hapened?

- I woke up bro - thats his only answer.

- Huh?

- I realice that gay life wasnt right for me

- What the fuck you- he interupt me

- Going to the gym, no worries about skin care routine - he keep talking - no worries even about showers, not washing my butt every-time-i-have-a-date - he said that words sounding indeed really sick of it- or not washing my butt at all, no using it for please other guys, just using it for this:

After saying that he lifted a leg and rip a long, smelly and loud fart

PRRRRRRFFFFFFFTTTFFFF the fart resonated for all the place, stinking everything, i had to cover my nose inmediatly, which make Tod laugh.

- Tod, theres no way to go straight, u have always been against that believe!

- Used to, but theres way, and you Will UAAARP agree soon

- What do you mean? - i said confused, and a bit of worried

- See, my awaking start when i had the first can of a beer from this weird brand a hot masc guy gave me, that same beer you are drinking now

Oh fuck.

- Oh n-OOUUUURRRRRP

- It's already starting, bro

- Theres no way, uh-PRRRRRRFFTTTFFFF

Tod was smiling with and almost evil smile, chugged a can of beer, belched and said: Cheers bro.

While here, I was burping non-stop, feeling my brain a bit foggy... Why I was worried about?

...

@ morningboy💕:

Oh!, Byron finally posted something, and it looks like a colab with Tod! Maybe he make him come back to his senses, all his 'turning straight' story really afect to the community.

Anyways lets see the video...

Ok, that outfit was a choice, Byron - I tough

Keep watching.

Oh... Oh no, is Byron having a fart contest with Todd!?

This feels wrong... Wait! Why his user just changed to @Byb-ronski...

[beepboopkek]

— Hidden Surprises (F!Reader)

Including: Kamisato Ayato x AFAB!Reader amab version has been posted on both tumblr and ao3 cw: !! NSFW !!, afab!reader, established relationship, bottom!sub!reader, top!dom!ayato, fluff and smut, pwp but barely, smacking (paddle), lots of teasing/flirting/kissing, mirror s3x, cursing, d1rty talk, like one sentence of n1pple play, cl1t smacks (only a few), slight dom/sub undertones, implied dom drop from ayato, mayb a little unrealistic s3x idk, AFTERCARE!!!! w/c: approx 2.8k words, might change since i make edits while posting a/n: after 8 goddamn drafts of this fic i managed to finally finish it,, im like at a 50/50 opinion on this but honestly i jsu wanted to get the brainrot out of my system... sorry for the long absence :sob:.. also i tried changing up my writing style a little, id love any form of feedback so feel free to leave a comment :D NSFW BELOW THE CUT

The evening air was crisp as you gently swirled the Sake in your cup, eyeing your husband over the rim as he sat beside you. The Yashiro Commissioner was poised and perfect as always— his hair neatly tied over his shoulder with a ribbon that matched his usual outfit. Your gaze travelled the expanse of his torso, unconsciously lingering on his hands as he kept them folded on the table. “You've been staring for a while.” Ayato’s voice broke you out of your thoughts as your eyes met his violet ones and you smiled.

“Oh, don't mind me. I’m simply admiring the view.” Your voice had a teasing lilt as you replied, still boring your eyes into his as you took another sip of your drink.

Ayato simply raised a brow at you, before moving his curious gaze to the half-empty bottle of Sake left beside you— immediately bringing out a hand to drag the bottle away from your reach.

“Hey! I was drinking that—!” You tried to snatch back the bottle like a cat that got its toy taken away but unfortunately for you, Ayato was too fast.

“Oh, I know.” Your husband only infuriatingly smiled back at you, relishing in the adorable pout on your face as you folded your arms in annoyance.

“I apologise, I want you to be somewhat sober tonight.” 

You gasped, placing a hand on your chest, and giving him an offended look.

“I am sober! I only had two glasses.”

“Mhmm. Whatever you say.” 

“Why do you need me to be sober anyway?”

Ayato leaned towards you, resting his hand on a closed palm. He tilted his head and looked at you with nothing short of pure adoration before saying, “I have a surprise for you.”

This time, it was your turn to raise an eyebrow at him. You mimicked his position (albeit with less elegance) as you tried to make the mental calculations to discern what this “surprise” could be.

Ayato and the word “surprise” never really mixed well for you. The last time he had a "surprise," it involved a strange hotpot that left you feeling queasy for days.

Ah.

Bingo.

“If it's another one of your horrible food concoctions, count me out.”

Ayato chuckled, a wide smile spreading across his face as he shook his head lightly. “Hehe, not to worry, dear. It's something you'll like.”

You would never admit it, but the two glasses of Sake did, in fact, put your mind in a pleasant buzz. You were never a good drinker to begin with so maybe it was good that your husband had confiscated your wine before you went overboard.

Well, that certainly wasn't going to stop you from teasing him, though.

You gave Ayato a languid gaze as you reached out a hand to twirl soft baby blue strands between your fingers, feeling his eyes on you as you brought his hair towards your lips, leaning in to give the strands a chaste kiss. You could feel Ayato’s breath hitch at the blatant display of public affection, which you didn't do very often.

“ … Tell me what it is then.”

Ayato recovered quickly, pulling back his face of smug satisfaction as he smiled.

“Well, it wouldn't be much of a surprise then, would it?”

You pouted at him again and he only chuckled in response, giving you a coy smile.

Two can play that game.

You surveyed your surroundings before deducing that no one would catch you and a mischievous smile coiled on your face as you observed your husband suddenly stuck in conversation with someone seated in front of the two of you.

You quietly praised each archon for giving you this golden opportunity as the perfect distraction appeared without any effort on your part. 

You reached out to place your hand on his knee under the table, pretending to swirl the non-existent wine in your cup with the other so that no one would suspect a thing.

Ayato's eyes flickered to yours for a split second before continuing the conversation as if nothing had happened.

You smiled to yourself as you began to stroke the inside of his thigh with your thumb, inching your hand higher and higher.

He'd never admit it, but you could feel the way his leg shook ever so slightly at the intimate contact.

You kept your hand stationed there for the short duration of the commissioner’s conversation, cheekily observing the light dust of red that had covered the high rise of his cheeks (which he would later blame on the alcohol).

You're broken out of your giddy stupor when you feel a larger hand on yours, stopping all motion as he gripped your hand tightly before passing you a faux smile and turning back to excuse the two of you.

Rascal.

“I apologise, my wife seems to be getting tired.”

You looked at the guest and gave him an apologetic smile although you were anything but that.

The both of you quickly bid your goodbyes to more guests as you made your way out, your husband almost dragging you by the hand.

While the Yashiro Commissioner looked just about normal to everyone, you could see the impatient jitter in his steps, the flush down his neck and the slightly hurried hush in his voice as he navigated the two of you through the crowd.

Right as you were about to board the carriage to make your way back up to the Kamisato estate, Ayato pulled you against his chest to whisper into your ear—

“I'm going to ruin you tonight.”

…

Ayato kept a firm hand on your thigh the entire ride back, occasionally squeezing it while conversing with you as if nothing was happening.

As if he didn't make your entire body shudder with just a sentence.

As soon as the two of you entered the privacy of your shared room, Ayato covered your eyes with his hands and instructed you to keep them closed until he asked you to open them again while he helped you out of your outfit, both of you giggling at your unstable movements from being temporarily blinded.

Which landed you here, stark naked and seated on the edge of the bed waiting for your husband late into the night. Your eyes were screwed shut as he shuffled around the room before quietly helping you up and settling you on his lap— his slender hands squeezing around your body as he leaned in to nibble the shell of your ear. He moved his hands to your belly before dipping his hands in between and prying your legs apart with a gentle insistence that had you murmuring his name in half-hearted protest.

“Open your eyes.”

You did just that, adjusting to the sudden brightness as you took in the sight before you.

A large rectangular mirror with an ornate gold frame with the Kamisato crest on the top, set on the wall in front of your bed. 

You observed your reflection in the mirror with shallow breaths, the golden lamps doused the room in a soft glow as you shivered, your husband's hands still placed between your thighs, keeping them apart.

Archons.

Your eyes met Ayato's observant gaze in the mirror as he spoke again, "Well, what do you think?"

“ … It's beautiful.”

Ayato smiled against your ear, kissing the side of your head affectionately.

“I knew you would like it.” Your breath hitched in embarrassment as your gaze travelled the entire expanse of the mirror, your ears burning with the overwhelming urge to hide. You could see every inch of your exposed body reflected at you, making your heart race.

“But, why—”

His hands remained steady on your thighs, grounding you as he squeezed them again and cut you off with a kiss to the side of your neck as he looked at you through the mirror. “I want you to see how mesmerising you look.”

His hands travelled along the outline of your torso as you waited for him to continue, “I want you to see what I see.” That's when his left hand reached back onto the bed, fumbling momentarily before he brought something forward. You glanced down, curiosity piqued, and saw that he held a— Oh.“I thought you’d be more romantic with your surprise.” A paddle. With a tiny heart cut out in the middle of it. “Well, I’ve always believed in doing things in a more unorthodox way.” The mischievous glint in his eye told you there was more to this. Ayato’s hand, which was still on your thigh, pulled it back a little further. He gently swept the paddle against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, the polished wood providing a smooth glide. “The rules are simple,”

You tore your eyes from the mirror to glance to your side when he raised the paddle a little, striking down on your thigh. You jolted in surprise as you immediately felt his hand rub the irritated skin softly. “One, do not look away from the mirror.” Ayato’s finger traced the heart imprint left on your thigh as he continued, “— and two, do not close your eyes.” Ayato’s hands traced the outline of your body as he silently awaited your consent. The silence was that of comfort, you felt relaxed knowing you could opt out of this at any moment and your husband wouldn’t hold it against you. You smirked. “… Ruin me, Commissioner.” You felt a sharp exhale on your shoulder as Ayato’s hands moved with renewed purpose all over your body. You felt his hand creep towards your chest, fondling one side as he tweaked the nipple between his fingers, your low moans now filling the room. He latched his lips onto the column of your neck as he begrudgingly left your chest to trail his hand towards your clit. His other hand was still holding onto the paddle that rested against your thigh, unmoving and unfaltering in making its presence known. A wave of relief washed over you as his fingers made contact with your clit, your eyes closed in pure bliss as you moaned in pleasure, locking your hands behind his neck and— A smack to the inside of your thigh snapped your eyes right back open in shock. Oh. Right.“Eyes on the mirror.” You nodded fervently as Ayato went back to toying with your clit, drawing sticky sweet circles as his sharp gaze stayed glued to your body through the mirror. You glanced down to your thighs in the mirror to see a red imprint of the paddle on your skin and looked back up to meet Ayato’s heated gaze, a coy smirk playing into his voice as he spoke again. “Enjoy the show, dear.” Ayato slid his now wet middle and ring finger down, dipping the tips inside you as you shook in anticipation. His hand flexed as he moved his fingers deeper, lightly thrusting them in and out as he searched for your sensitive spots with experienced precision.

“All that bravado in the evening, where is it now?” 

He ground his palm into your clit as he pushed his fingers to the knuckle— Your moans mingling with his heavy breaths. You pushed yourself back against his chest in hopes of alleviating some of the tension in his pants.

His voice was breathless as he spoke in your ear, 

“Do you like it when I do this?” and he curled his fingers inside you, making you moan again.

Maybe it was the whole evening of teasing that got you to the cusp of an orgasm so soon but, it was quickly becoming too much. Ayato's skilled hands proved to be too deadly for you— making you close your eyes and lean your head back onto his shoulder as you moaned.

Smack!

Eyes opened wide, you jolted back up and your orgasm washed over you immediately as Ayato continued to pump his fingers in and out to help you ride it out.

“Fuck—”

You panted, struggling to keep your eyes open. Ayato stilled as his left hand let go of the paddle to grab your chin, forcing you to look sideways as he kissed you deeply.

Your lips parted with his as you both caught your breath— your husband gently removing his fingers from you and wiping them onto the cloth laid next to him.

Ayato moved you a little forward as he unzipped his pants, pulling his cock from underneath you so that it poked out between your soft thighs.

Archons, he could get used to this view.

He wanted to make you wait, wanted to edge you until you were begging for him, tears sticking to your clumped lashes as you pouted at him, whining and writhing in his hold as he kept your pleasure from you. 

But he couldn't.

He wanted you just as bad as you wanted him.

He aligned himself with you, slowly pushing in as you both moaned in relief.

Ayato curled a hand around your waist to hold you in place as he set a rhythm of short and quick thrusts, latching his mouth onto your neck again as he bit down to stifle his moans.

“Ayato, please-” 

A resonant smack to your sensitive nipple is all that you get in response as you immediately plaster your eyes back on the mirror.

— and archons was it a sight, your bodies were covered in a thin sheen of sweat as red-purple imprints of the paddle were littered across the expanse of your soft skin, little bruises blossoming on both sides of your neck, your hair stuck to your forehead as you writhed in your spot, aching to find release again.

The hand curled around your waist twisted downwards to play with your clit as you sighed in pure bliss before you abruptly felt his hand moving away and a series of smacks on your sensitive nerves.

Fuck. You didn't even notice you stopped looking at the mirror.

He unlatched himself from your neck, leaving deep imprints of his teeth as he raised his head to pull at your earlobe with his teeth.

“You know I don't like repeating myself.”

Tears clung to your eyes as your body buzzed through the different sensations of pain and pleasure, the thought of disappointing your husband sitting heavy in your throat as you swallowed down your complaints.

His pace grew erratic as you held onto him, heavy moans mingling with his silent ones as tears slipped from your eyes.

“Come with me.”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull as Ayato spoke into your ear. You barely registered the tip of the paddle hitting your clit again or how your husband pulled out just in time to finish on your lower back— your legs trembling as you clenched around nothing.

Holy shit.

Ayato detached himself from you, flipping you over so that you were laid flat on the bed on your stomach as you caught your breath. He took the washcloth he had set up earlier to clean you off a little before helping you up and lifting you to prepare a bath.

You were floating, you weren't sure how much time had passed when you came to but you were (yet again) seated in your husband’s lap as he gently massaged your stiff shoulders, waiting for you to regain your senses. “ … Hi.” You spoke as you turned your head to meet his lips in a soft kiss. “Hello.” You got up on shaking limbs, turning your body over so that you were straddling his legs. Ayato looked at you questioningly, tilting his head. You simply kissed the mole under his lip as you replied, “I wanted to see your face.”

“Oh? Did you miss me?”

You kissed the tip of his nose this time, “Yes.” 

He smiled, the edges of his eyes crinkling as his gaze lingered on all the hickeys he had left, his face dropping a little.

“How are you feeling?”

“Great. A little sore but I'll be fine.”

You leaned down to kiss the mole on his collarbone, lingering there to leave a love bite of your own.

There was a pause, you knew this was when he would start questioning himself.

“Was I—?”

Before he could finish his question, you captured his lips in a soft kiss, caressing the back of his head with your hands as you gently massage it.

“No. It was perfect. In every sense of the word, I enjoyed it.”

Ayato smiled at you again.

There was a comfortable silence after that, the both of you taking turns to wash out each other's hair and backs, sneaking small kisses in between as you giggled.

You dried each other off before your husband laid you down on the bed, procuring an ointment seemingly out of nowhere as he applied it to the bruises on your thighs.

You laid down on the soft sheets and felt the energy drain from your bones, giving Ayato one last peck on the lips before you drifted off to sleep.

“I love you.”

He kissed the top of your head lovingly, and if you were any more tired, you would've missed his response.

“I find myself falling for you more and more every single day. Goodnight, dear.”

[dendro-bunny]

My Only Star

Xavier x (fem) Reader

Genre: Hurt to comfort, fluffy but angsty

Synopsis: He’s an attractive guy, so it’s only natural that he would get a lot of attention. You know he prefers to be incognito, yet that voice in your head is loud and can’t be ignored.

Warnings: Anxiety, body dysmorphia, Jealousy, Depressive thoughts, FLUFFY ENDING I PROMISE

(A/n): hhhhh my bias wrecker. ISTG THAT BUNNY MEMORY HAD ME SQUEALINGDNKAVDKSBD, Also I saw someone say that my last fic made them feel beautiful. YOU ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU AND I FEEL LIKE IM WORTH SOMETHING CAUSE YOU READ AND LIKE MY FICS JDHAHAJVDJA. Anyway TO THE FIC!

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The sound of your shoes hitting the ground is muffled by the harsh rain. Your pace isn’t slow, but you can’t find the strength to run. The rain doesn’t bother you. It hides the constant flow of tears going down your face.

You know you shouldn’t feel like this. You know it’s stupid. You know he thinks you’re stupid for acting like this. Yet every bone in your body aches with sadness. Because it’s not fair. It’s not right. You were standing right there and it still happened again.

You look across the table at your wonderful hunting partner and boyfriend. You see he begins to doze off again.

“Sorry babe am I boring you?” You give him a cheeky smile. Xavier jolts awake and gives a tired smile.

“It’s not you. I was up late for a job and hadn’t had much sleep. Not to mention rain always makes me sleepy.” He gives a big yawn and rubs his eyes. He picks you hand up and gives it a soft kiss. You feel you face start to heat up.

“Just know, you could never bore me. I sleep easier at your side not because you’re boring but because yours soothing. And I-” He’s interrupted by the waitress coming over with a drink in her hand, menus in the other.

“Hi sorry for the wait, this drink was sent by the lady at the bar over there, in the green. And what can I get you started with today.” You can tell she’s nervous when putting the drink down especially when she sees you hand slink back to your side of the table.

Xavier has an unreadable expression. His eyes locked on the cup then on you. Then he looks over to the bar with his eyebrows furrowed. You turn over slowly fearing the worse.

And your fears come true, she’s gorgeous… From her hair to her heels she’s perfect. Poised and graceful. You can tell by just the way she laughs with the bartender that she’s outgoing. Her body was everything you wish yours was. Ofc she took interest in Xavier they would be perfect together…

“Babe… Babe.” Xavier speaks firmly snapping you back to reality. He gives a concerned look. “Are you ok? It’s your turn to order.” He fiddles with his fingers nervously wondering what is going on in your head.

“Uh- Sorry the game was on the tv over there . Heh, got distracted.” You manage to play it off and order normally. You’re able to push away the thoughts for a second. As the waitress walks away you turn to you hunter boyfriend.

“Are… you going to drink that? Yk, the… gift.” It’s your turn to fiddle as you stare at him with pursed lips.

“Uhm I wasn’t planning on it. Yk I’m not much of a drinker outside of our home.” He gives you a questioning look.

“But… I don’t know what to do with it… I don’t want to be rude…” He really seems deep in thought about it.

You give a small sigh of relief, that immediately gets sucked back in with a gasp and the green dressed lady stands in front of your table.

“Hello cutie… and girl…” she gives you a side eye “I see you’ve got my gift! Why don’t you come to the bar and drink it with me. We don’t want it to go to waste, plus I’m sure sucks in the mud like your friend here don’t party well.” She completely ignores you for him. Giving you snide snarky remarks. You hear giggles at the bar and see similar dressed women in different colors looking over at your boyfriend.

“We’re actually dating.” He says bluntly.

“I’m sure she won’t mind if you have fun. What kind of girlfriend would she be?” She tilts her head and the strap of her dress falls down her shoulder.

You feel your breath picking up, your jaw begins to hurt from holding your tears back. Your hands shake and tremble with every thought.

This is the part he leaves you.

It gonna happen eventually why not now.

He’s too good for you. They are perfect together.

How could you actually believe he would love you when people like her exist.

You stand up and bolt for the door. Xavier’s calls fall deaf on your ears. Only the bell of the restaurant’s door is heard as you speed to the nearest train station. Which is where you are now. At least you’re out of the rain in the underground station. You can feel the pneumonia seeping into your bones. That feeling is none compared to the heart ache you feel. He hadn’t even chased after you. He probably is with her right now.

You rub your shoulders to shake off the cold. Then you feel a warmth cloth being set on your shoulders. You look at see ash blond hair and blue nebula eyes staring at you.

“I was looking all over for you… I didn’t see where you went cause our food came and I knew you would be hungry so I asked for to-go plates.” You look and see the bag in his hands. You turn back to face the train and stare ahead. Your eyes sore and dry from all the tears ripped from your tear ducts.

“Did you think she was pretty… Of course you did… how couldn’t you. I mean look at her, not a strand of hair out of place. I wish I had her body…” You brush your hair out of your face as it sticks to you. You’re soaked and couldn’t care less about the fact you look like a drowned rat.

“She was perfect, you would be nice together-“ you speech is ended by his lips crashing into yours. Normally is kisses are chaste and soft, conveying is endless patience and care for you. But this kiss of full of unconditional love and all the words of assurance you could ever get. He’s not the best with words he knows that. But today he’s willing to try.

“Fuck her. Not literally like I wanna fuck her. I- hhh I mean to hell with her. I don’t want to spend my entire existence with some girl who throws herself at every attractive man she sees.” His motions to towards the restaurant. You can see he’s struggling with how to convey how he feels. He collects his thoughts and speaks again.

“I don’t want to be with someone who only looks at me from the outside. I want you.” He cups your face.”

“I only want you. Out of all the stars in the sky you shine the brightest. Because you’re my star. My only star. The perfect laugh, the perfect body, the perfect personality, the perfect smile, the perfect heart. You are my one and only perfect star.” He gives you the most passionate kiss he can muster. Hoping you reciprocate it.

When you do he relaxes in the kiss. You begin to sob into his chest with you pull away. Apologizing for ruining the night. Him insisting that it wasn’t you how ruined the night.

“How about we go home, I’d much rather be there than some restaurant and bar. Plus I’m tired of people hitting on us.” You give him a questioning look.

“Oh when you left the bar. Some guy asked if you were single now and I punched him in the throat… which is also why I took so long and we’re- I’m not allowed back at the restaurant.” He gives you an awkward smile.

You begin to bend over laughing at the absurdity of the situation. “You’re not the type to punch someone!”

“He was just unlucky, I wanted to punch something and he spoke last. Honestly he had it coming.” You laugh harder and in your laughter you miss the way he gives you a soft smile.

How could you not know he’s beyond whipped for you. He would transcend space and time just to be with you in the next life… like he has before. 

He’ll do it again.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

It’s 4:30 am as I’m finishing this. What did I say about bias wrecker?! HELLO SIR GET OUT MY HEAD!

Guys understand something though you are not your body, or looks. You are a person with feeling and emotions and every feeling you experience is valid and someone has felt something similar to. And I love you for who you are and what you could be. Not what you were and what you aren’t 🫶

[creaturecomfxrts]

Dipper and Mabel pines headcanons?

FINALLY getting around to answering these! since im better at them, heres some college age headcanons that apply just as much to how i view them in the show!

DIPPER PINES

transmasc. duh. of course

parents are INCREDIBLY supportive, super understanding. hes on hormone blockers in the show and starts HRT as soon as hes able, getting top surgery and bottom surgery in his early 20s

bisexual! ran into a guy junior year of highschool and went oh GOD. this is wendy 2.0 im going to die

NERD.

LOVES board games. so much. not just dungeons and dragons and monopoly im talkin everdell, wingspan, cascadia, catan. he loves a good think. he also loves dragging everyone else into playing them with him. he always wins. almost always, anyway

absolutely adores college and everything about it hes a little freak. totally ends up being the president of a few clubs, co creating some, etc. made an occult club AND a hiking club at his college

loves doodling, loves horror. his teachers? not so much. they try not to look at the weird ass creatures he draws on the margins of his very well written homework.

probably goes into something smart. like biochem. or um. stem. im (author) is a liberal arts major all i do is write gay fanfiction.

PSYCHOTIC ASS DORM ROOM. he barely decorated it like a classic college male but has a conspiracy board and thats it. which is full of strange shit hes seen outside of gravity falls. to be fair its very well documented and somewhat neat, just…. strange decor. he lives in a single (introvert)

COVERED in tattoos, but always abides by the suit rule (all tattoos need to be able to be covered by a suit to be professional. he knows this bc hes a neerrrrddd). he has really sick sleeves of runes and other occult like things hes found interesting. he has cipher related tattoos as well and also even got ford to design a few.

he has PROMINENT eye bags. he will never fix his sleep schedule

ended up working as a summer camp counselor for a while right outside if gravity falls! the kids loved him but he couldnt stand the heat and bugs all the time so he only did it for a summer or two

even after turning 21 he doesnt actually drink that much, hes a craft beer enjoyer and likes to make it himelf (Much later in life)

ALWAYS stays in touch with mabel. if anything happens in either of their lives you better BELIEVE theyre already on the phone with eachother

medical marijuana card holder

smokes to help eith his anxiety. it works WONDERS

coffee drinker but actually Does put cream and sugar is coffee. sometimes. other times hes too tired and just thugs it out

MABEL PINES

THE number one it girl ever

NUMBER ONE TRANS ALLY EVERRRRRR she loves her brother so much

pansexual!! she loves cool people, thats her motto

went to a fashion design school, is loving it despite drowning in work

began dying her hair in cool ways through highschool, now she always has some of her natural color present but goes a little crazy on the highlights

found out about huge dangley joke earrings. went absolutely crazy. has an entire space on her desk dedicated to her many many earrings. she has babies, knives, bags of doritos, aliens, glow in the dark ones, anything you could imagine.

fantastic at fashion design. stuggled a lot with the fancier stuff but her teachers were floored when they let her go wild on casual comfy wear. she excells in combining fashion and comfort in really exciting and colorful ways.

a party girl through and through, loves clubs, raves, concerts, anything!

video game lover as well, cracked at pvp games.

still boy crazy, just less so (has had like. 10 college boyfriends)

literally the sweetest friend ever. she loves hosting movie nights and tea parties (bc who wouldnt. theyre awesome)

tea drinker, loves floral teas with honey

HATES. black coffee. a starbucks frap girlie 4ever

has been scouted for modeing multiple times and only accepted when it was a commercial with puppies

love love loves making friendshio bracelets. knows all the patterns, all of her friends have a hefty amount of a bunch of different ones because she just keeps making them

anywwy, here you go! i love these two so much, i hope ive done them justice!

[divinesolas]

Flowers | The Series | Chapter Six | Odd

Summary | You have a very… Odd? Second morning. You didnt think it was possible to get anymore unbelievable than yesterday. But it had.

Pairing | Jacaerys x Fem!Reader

Warnings | not proofread, shorter and jacaerys-less chapter (im sorry next chapter with be his pov so don't worry!)

Word Count | 1.4k

Series Masterlist

The next morning you're sitting across from your mother at breakfast who's insistent you two wait for your father. "Mother im hungry." She glares, "He'll be here any minute." You groan and lean back, "Oh sit up properly its unladylike." You readjusted yourself as your father bursts through the door with a frantic look.

"Dear whats wrong?" Your father sits and downs a cup of wine. Hes not a morning drinker or even really a drinker at all, you begin to worry. "Father-" "I was approached by joffery this morning asking for permission to court you." Your mother gasps before smiling, "Oh this is wonderful."

You however cannot believe what you're hearing, Courtship? With you? You liked him sure, he was much nicer and much better to look at than most of the men in court but a courtship with him? you had only met him last night. "Did you give your approval?" "Of course he did sweetheart. Right dear?" Your father chugs another glass, "Yes." He's acting odd. Its all you can think about as your mother goes on and on about how wonderful this is how beautiful the vale is.

You can only look at your father as he has an odd look. you place a hand on his arm and his eyes turn to you. Noticing your worried face he places a hand on yours and squeezes it, He smiles, if you didn't know him as well as you did you would believe it to be a true one but you can tell it doesn't reach his eyes.

A knock on the door spares him your questioning as he goes to answer it, He comes back quickly and ushers you over, you move towards the door and are shocked by the sight,

"Ser joffery?" He stands there with a smile and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. "Good day my lady." "Good day ser...." Your words come out slow and rough as you stare at the bouquet in his hands. He sees your eyeing it and smiles, "For you my lady, a beautiful bouquet for a beautiful lady."

You don't want to take it but you do. A large bouquet of red dahlia's. You hope they mean the positive as you hope for all flowers but the negative rings in the back of your head especially after seeing your fathers reaction to jofferys courtship. Dishonesty. You feel sick looking at them but you force a smie anyways and take them, forcing out a thank you.

You move back into the room and place them in an empty vase as your mother invites him in. "Please come in! Have you eaten yet we were about to begin, join us." He smiles and shakes his head. "I apologize i have just eaten, though i hope i can take you up on that offer one day." Your mother laughs and nods, your father stands at the far end of the room, his face unreadable. You walk over to him as he turns away to face the dresser and your wrap your arms around him.

His tense body relaxes as he sighs and turns around with your arms still trapped around him and he gives you a smile. A real one. He kisses you on the forehead and moves to join your mother who's chatting with joffery. You want to ask him a million questions but you know nows not the time. "I was just about to ask if the lady would like to join me in the training grounds and watch me." You snap back into resisting at the request. Its an odd request, there are not many fighters at your home and if they are they are just passing through for the night.

"Ive always been curious about swortfighting Ser joffery, id love to join you." He smiles at you, "Wonderful, I will come collect you some time later." You nod and smile. He says some parting words and leaves not before kissing your hands as he leaves.

"What a charming young man." You can't help but agree, its true he is charming and handsome though you are more inclined to think prince jacaerys is more attractive.

You feel sick as you think about him but you have to shake off the thoughts. It will never amount to anything so you must let him go.

Does the prince train? Maybe you will see him there. You hope not, or maybe you do.

--

Tags; @elissanatok

[quaranmine]

i may. be drunk now

anyway i wrote 1700 words so far and i dont think the quality is effected in the slightest i think it's actually, perhaps, better?

my plan tomorrow: watch decked out vods during work bc it's probably gonna be slow. make myself food in my crockpot for dinner assuming i did indeed get all my ingredients i needed the last time i went shopping. make myself....some sort of alcoholic drink. sit down at my computer and spend the rest of the evening fully rewriting That Scene in firewatch au

[mountainsabandonedshoes]

papa headcannons

primo-

he loves earth and water ghouls

he has a massive tea collection

hes all about herbal medicine

he can give a wicked massage

doesn't like fire ghouls much because they keep burning his plants

refuses to acknowledge technology unless it helps him with gardening

secondo-

hes honestly not that much of an asshole, he just has resting im gonna kill you face

black coffee drinker

loves vampire romance

loves old romance movies

thinks phones are stupid but owns one anyway

terzo-

fashion gay

that one middle aged dude having a mid life crisis in a bar while drinking the most glamorous fruity cocktail

loves big ghouls

owns a flip phone

copia-

owns a gosig råtta

plays animal crossing

enjoys horror novels

doesn't understand how laptops work

can barely work a phone

nihil can continue being dead, he is not involved in this

[mins-fins]

JUST A LITTLE BIT — ZHANG HAO

⊹ ˚. synopsis: note for next time, never let zhang hao drink too much.

⊹ ˚. pairing: zhang hao x m!reader

⊹ ˚. genre: fluff, crack

⊹ ˚. warnings: mentions of drinking, very much corny gay people, simply zb1 hyung line being idiots

⊹ ˚. word count: 1.1k

⊹ ˚. notes: I HAVE A HAO PC AND YOU DONT LOSER 🤣🫵!! just kidding pls dont unfollow me i need the clout 😞 anyway i DO NOT drink at all so if the depiction of drunk people in this is not how they actually are, sorry? i will never touch alcohol im sorry

⊹ ˚. this is for jj (@junjiie) because tbf i kinda owe it to him after pulling his bias (sorry bestie westie ily tho)

"what the fuck is zhang hao doing?"

zhang hao is not a heavy drinker, he doesn't enjoy drinking as much as his partner does, and he made that very clear when hanbin suggested celebratory drinks in the first place. he said, and i quote; "i'm not gonna drink that much, i don't even like alcohol that much".

look at where he's ended up now.

to be fair, y/n is surprised. usually, he's the one embarrassingly drunk and zhang hao's the one having to make sure he doesn't accidentally kill himself. he remembers that one story zhang hao told him where he almost drank bleach because he legitimately thought it was milk.

but today it seems like the rolls have reversed.

zhang hao is like.. super drunk, in an almost insane manner. for the past twenty minutes he's been doing and saying the absolute stupidest things, whether its loudly singing their debut song or abusing jiwoong.

to say the members are.. shocked is a large understatement. seeing zhang hao drink so much and act in such a not like him manner not only shocks them, but it also humors them too.

"oh, god i have never seen him this drunk before".

"your telling me, i'm his boyfriend, i never ever see him drunk".

zhang hao giggles and snorts, kicking jiwoong in the back of his leg as he falls over on the couch, dying from a random joke jiwoong told like half an hour ago, but his mind is too fuzzy for him to remember that.

the second eldest hums, stopping his giggles as he turns around and strolls y/n's way, stumbling as he makes his way to his partner. "hi" he snorts, hiccuping, he almost trips and y/n reaches over to grab him, standing him back upright.

"hello" he smiles simply. he's a little drunk, not so drunk that he's stumbling and red faced like zhang hao. the older stares for a moment, and then he smiles widely.

"your very pretty" he states, rocking back and forth on his heels as he smiles like a teenager giddy about their crush. he giggles like a little kid, grabbing y/n's hands and beginning to swing them back and forth. "like very gorgeous man".

"really? well, your prettier" y/n replies, and zhang hao giggles like a little kid once again. taerae pretends to vomit on the other side of the room, disgusted by this couple-y behavior.

"your cute, i'm cute, i have the feeling we'd look very good together" he laughs, biting his lower lip to suppress a smile. suddenly, his eyes light up as he thinks of a brilliant idea.

yeah "brilliant".

"just a question" he starts, batting his eyelashes dramatically. "do you happen to be single?" zhang hao inquires, scooting closer to the boy until their shoulders knocked together.

"oh no, i actually have a boyfriend".

now listen, y/n thought it would've been funny to mess with zhang hao, it's a thing a two of them always do. sometimes when he was drunk, he'll forget he's dating zhang hao himself, and the older will just mess with him for fun. but what he doesn't expect, is for zhang hao's smile to drop.

"oh, you do?" zhang hao frowns, his voice lowers in a way that makes him sound sad. he slowly steps away from y/n, looking uncomfortable.

matthew blinks, observing the situation. hanbin narrows his eyes in confusion, taerae chuckles at his sudden attitude change, and jiwoong simply shakes his head as he watches zhang hao step away.

zhang hao stays silent for a moment, a sad yet panicked expression written on his face, as if he'd just done something wrong.

just as y/n was about to ask what's wrong, zhang hao turns to him and bows his head.

"i'm so sorry for flirting with you!"

"what!?" matthew exclaims, startling hanbin, who was just about to drift off to sleep. taerae stares, then just begins giggling like an idiot, the alcohol getting to him.

y/n is taken aback. "wait no that's not—"

"i didn't know you were taken i'm so sorry" he apologizes again. "your boyfriend must be a really great person i'm so sorry for what i did" the words spill out of his mouth so quickly they simply blur together into nonsense, his head bowed so low that it was basically touching the ground.

"no no no it's alright" y/n panics, placing his hands on his boyfriends shoulder and pulling him to stand upright. "no need to apologize" he says, taking zhang hao's face and caressing his cheek as well as fixing his messy hair.

for some reason, that action must've had quite the affect on zhang hao, because he started bawling his eyes out.

"what— why are you crying!?" y/n exclaims, panicked by his boyfriends outburst.

he sniffles, bringing his hand up to wipe his nose before bursting into tears again upon making eye contact with y/n.

"he's taken" zhang hao sobs, eyes shut as tears dramatically fall down his cheeks.

without any warning, taerae fell over and began dying of laughter. giggles escaped matthew's lips as he watched zhang hao cry over his own boyfriend, and jiwoong tries his best to not burst into laughter.

"you three! don't laugh!" hanbin scolded, slapping both matthew and taerae on the back. he hurriedly rushes to zhang hao's side, wrapping an arm around him. "there there hao hao".

hanbin offers him a tissue, watching as zhang hao blows his nose as he rubs his hand up and down his back, he's trying his best not to laugh out loud as y/n stands there in panic.

"he's taken" zhang hao pouts, tears still falling from his eyes as he turns to hanbin, who, in response, lets out a small giggle.

"hanbin!?"

"sorry sorry" hanbin giggles again, but he then manages to stifle them, patting zhang hao's head. "don't cry hao-hyung, he's still very into you".

y/n stands there, feeling a little awkward. zhang hao sniffles again and turns to y/n, blinking as he stares at him. he stares for a specifically long time before walking up to him and pulling him into a hug.

"i hope your boyfriend doesn't mind this" he mutters into y/n's shirt, wiping his remaining tears on it.

y/n chuckles, running a hand up and down zhang hao's back. "no i don't think he'll mind" he says as he laughs, and zhang hao hums, pulling away to look up.

"has anyone ever told you that your very pretty?" he asks, emphasizing the 'very'. "i would kiss you but you have a boyfriend" he smiles, snorting once again.

"you are my boyfriend, silly".

"hah, funny joke".

zhang hao snorts once again, resting his head on y/n's chest. "you are very pretty".

"as you've said before".

"okay, continue lying pretty men".

y/n notes one thing from this interaction.

never let zhang hao drink too much.