#this is exactly how a drinker’s stomach would look like

[0-twentyone]

I don’t wanna sound like a hater but I have been suspicious about this for a while now.

[baegetas]

》 blackout.

son goku x afab reader

summary: sitting at the bar after a hard day, you're joined by none other than your friend gohan's father, and he knows how he can cheer you up.

warnings: minors do not interact, explicit content: age gap, multiple orgasms, (slight, if you squint) implied cheating, overstimulation, drunk sex, alcohol consumption

word count: 1.7k

you were alone at a bar. you'd completely flunked an exam that you'd studied hard for, and you were downing shots like they were nothing. even the bartender was asking if you were okay, to which you'd reply with a simple, "i will be."

while you were mindlessly scrolling through social media, a giggle cut through your brooding silence. it was familiar. you looked over your shoulder, finding that you were face-to-face with a "friend" of yours: goku. well, correction: he was gohan's father, and you were a friend of gohan's. you were a little scared of goku at first, but warmed up to him once you knew he wasn't some scary muscle-head. he grinned at you and promptly mused, "hey!"

"hello, goku."

he sat next to you, looking at you like a dejected puppy. "aw, what's wrong? you looked bored from over there, but man, you seem pretty sad."

you sighed, failing to hide the smile from him. "i guess. but i didn't expect to see you here, out of all people."

"whaaat?" goku giggled and spun the barstool around. "are you kidding? this place is so fun!"

"no, i mean, like, i didn't see you as much of a drinker."

"eh... if it's sweet, i don't care what it is. i'll drink it. heeeey!" he flagged down the bartender, grinning happily. "you have jello shots? yeah? you should give us a few!"

you gave him a slightly agitated look, to which he giggled and said, "don't worry, i'll pay! i don't know what's got you so down, but it's time to cheer up!"

that giggle would be the end of you, and you knew it. as the shots slid onto the counter in front of you, you sighed. it wouldn't be horrible to have a little fun, right?

next thing you knew, goku had convinced you to join him on the dance floor. there had always been something so charming about his idiocy. something charming about how oblivious he was. however, now that he had you in your own little corner of the place in the dark, you could see something else behind those sweet eyes. you could see intention, like he was aware of exactly what he was doing. he was aware that it was the two of you. he was aware that you were both tipsy. he was aware that he was double your size. he was very aware.

with the lights spinning again, flashing a multitude of colors, you found yourself lost in music. lost in liquor. you and goku had been gradually getting closer to one another. you found yourself dancing right against him, and his rough, calloused hands were sliding up and down the sides of your torso, with a focus on your hips. swaying back and forth in rhythm, you could feel his muscles against your back. you could feel his breath against your neck. you shuddered, and looked up at him for some sort of clue as to what he was thinking. and looking back at you were two serious, calculating eyes. like a predator. "heh. you look surprised."

your lip shook ever so slightly. "you... are you?"

he smirked. "am i what? gotta finish the sentence."

you hiccuped, trying to clear your throat. "flirting?"

"i dunno," he hummed, feigning innocence. "problem?"

your eyes flickered down to his hands on your hips. they were gripping you. "...no."

his voice dropped an octave, getting raspy. "nice. you mind if i do something?"

"to... to me?" he nodded, and you were having trouble suffocating the butterflies in your stomach. you swallowed roughly, leaning your head back against his shoulder as you stared up at him. he was holding you against him. for a moment, you thought, what would gohan think? i mean, this was your friend's dad. this man was twice your age. but nonetheless, you replied, "you... can do anything you want. to me."

within a split second, he flipped you around and pressed your back against the club's concrete wall. you had no time to breathe. goku was kissing you with a passion. your hands gripped his clothes, pulling him as close as you could. his thigh pressed in between your legs, and at that point, you were putty in his hands. all you could do was whine. this was a completely different goku, and you were loving it.

he sank his teeth into the side of your neck, and you moaned out loud. when you noticed someone staring at the two of you, your eyes widened. "ah- goku! hey."

he pulled back from your skin by just inches. "something wrong?"

"we... we can't do this. not... in public."

his voice was gravelly. "why not? i'm sure people would love to watch. make 'em jealous."

you blushed and stammered out, "it... it's indecent... and a little illegal... to do things like this in public. my apartment would be a better place."

"your apartment?" he stood straight up and pressed two fingers to his forehead. he gripped your shoulder tightly. "gotcha."

and suddenly, you were both standing in the front hallway of your apartment. you blinked a few times, unsure of what the fuck just happened, but all of that was thrown to the wayside when goku's lips found yours again, pressing you against the wall of your living room.

your belongings fell to the ground, and your hands started to pull his shirt up so you could feel his torso. every muscle, every divot - he was so fucking ripped. and his hands weren't wasting time with you, either. traveling up your thighs, he tore your panties off with one finger. his hand grabbed your entire ass, and he took in a deep inhale, smelling your scent on the skin of your neck. "god, you smell so good."

"you... ah!" you lost your train of thought when he started grinding his crotch against yours. with flushed cheeks from a drunken stupor, you mumbled, "you... want me, don't you?"

shedding his t-shirt, he growled, "what do you think?"

he was biting at your skin as his hands discarded the rest of your clothes, albeit in a more refined fashion. once you were completely nude, he couldn't hold himself back anymore. he picked you up like a doll. like you weighed absolutely nothing to him. he was quick to find your bedroom, and he quite literally threw you down onto the bed. then, he followed. and his tongue found your slit, rough hands pushing your thighs apart so he could taste you as much as he possibly could.

your hand tangled in his thick hair. he was so sloppy, but it was quick to send every nerve in your body into a frenzy. he would grunt and groan, and his nose would bump against your clit, sending a jolt through your body. when his tongue actually plunged into you, you lost all of your bearings. you came all over his face, and he replied to it with a pleased groan, unwilling to pull away until your body relaxed. with one eye open, you looked down at his messy face. his dark, widened pupils. his flushed cheeks. then, he grinned. "i thought you'd taste good, but that was better than i thought."

panting, you whined back, "goku... i..."

"already on it." he was quick to remove his pants and boxers, and he was quick to climb back over you, trapping you in another kiss. with the full weight of his body against his, you realized just how small you were. his length slid along your folds, and you could taste yourself on his tongue.

your hands found his back when he got the opportunity to press himself into you, and he did so with a guttural groan. at that point, you couldn't think. the slow stretch was just too good, and your foreheads rested against one another until he was fully sheathed in you. he panted, "so... tight... i gotta..."

you panted back, "just... just fuck me."

and when his hips started snapping back and forth, you couldn't help but whine. your nails dug into his back, and his face was buried in your neck. he was relentless, keeping a fast, steady pace. as your moans got louder, you heard his voice in your ear. "shh... be a good girl. i know you can handle it."

hitting that sweet spot over and over, it didn't take any time for you to come undone a second time. and a third time. goku hadn't even broken much of a sweat, and he had you completely folded over underneath him. your eyes were locked on his as he cooed, "yeah, that's it. good."

in that moment, you understood that he was going to finish inside you. and you didn't care one bit about it. as if on cue, his huge frame leaned down to trap you in a tongue-filled kiss, hands gripping your ass. you weren't going anywhere. he had you completely pinned.

you'd lost count of how many times you came before his thrusts started to get sloppy. he was grunting more often, shaft head poking at your cervix every now and then. it hurt, but you were far too blissed out to care. "good girl. just... a little bit more, okay?"

by now, you were a babbling mess, but you managed to nod in response. the bed was slamming against the wall, and you knew that your neighbors on all sides would be complaining about the noise, if they hadn't already. his grunts were going right into your ear, and he grunted especially loudly as he said, "you ready?"

you nodded and mewled, "yes, please."

goku growled, then moaned beautifully has he came right into you. his hips didn't even stop, riding out his own orgasm with a blissful look on his face. when his hips eventually stopped, he collapsed onto you, breathing heavily. you were doing the same. your head was spinning. after only a minute, he propped himself up on his elbow. "whew... that was... amazing."

"i... know." you said this so quietly that you could barely hear it yourself. "it was."

then, goku gave you that trademark giggle. that trademark grin. you looked at him through half lidded eyes as he said, "i think we're gonna have to do that again. way more often than just once. i'm gonna need it."

you smiled and wrapped your arms around his torso. you couldn't respond vocally, but pulling him closer was the answer he needed. he giggled again and relaxed atop you, with no intention of moving any time soon.

[jujumin-translates]

[18TRIP] Ten Murakumo | [SR] Black Melting Into the Hustle and Bustle | You Can Drink, But Don't Get Drunk

Characters: ☁️ Ten Murakumo, ☔️ Kafka Oguro, ☀️ Renga Nishizono

Location: HAMA House - Tiger Room

*Drink being poured*

Kafka: You’re having a nightcap again today too, Ten?

Kafka: Maybe it’s fine once in a while, but don’t you think you should hold back from having one every night? It tanks the quality of your sleep, y’know.

Ten: C’mon, stop worrying so much, Prez. This is just what works for me.

Ten: (I can’t have him messing with my routine.)

Renga: Exactly, Kafka. Ten likes to drink, and it’s not like he drinks recklessly.

Renga: And when we go out for drinks together, I think he always seems fine! You don’t gotta worry.

Kafka: I see. If my drinking buddy Renga says so, I guess it’s fine.

Ten: (...Never thought I’d have Renga-san to back me up.)

Ten: Cool, with that settled, to doing this again…

*Ten taps his glass on the table*

Renga: …

Ten: …

Ten: …Renga-saaan, don’t stare at me like that. I thought drinking wasn’t your strong suit.

Renga: Ah, my bad! Don’t worry about me, just enjoy your drink!

Ten: I’m only saying that because I care.

Renga: No, I was just thinking that I’d be able to drink like you do someday, Ten…

Ten: Ah~, you do get hammered in no time, don’t you, Renga-san?

Renga: T-That was just last time! I was more tired than usual, so…

Ten: Haha, you sure about that~? It would’ve been pretty dangerous for you if you were a girl.

Renga: Whatever, there isn’t anything wrong with me watching! All I’m doing is watching you drink!

Ten: (Just watching’s not gonna make you a better drinker… Well, it’s all according to plan. That’s just how much you’re fascinated with me.)

Ten: Alright, just for today?

Renga: Yeah! Thanks!

Kafka: (Hehe. There’s something pretty interesting about those two.)

· ❀ —– ٠ ❀ ٠ —– ❀ ·

Location: Shirohori Studios

Staff: That’ll be it for today’s shoot, Renga-san! Thank you very much!

Staff Members: Good work!

Renga: Heh, I’m looking forward to seeing the finished thing.

Capable Producer: Do you drink wine, Renga-san? We prepared a vintage for today’s shoot.

Renga: Huh? Yeah… Thanks.

Renga: (Maybe it’s because of the last variety, but I’ve been getting a lot more gifts like this…)

Capable Producer: Don’t doubt it. It’s a genuine vintage, okay? There’s that famous saying… “I only want the real deal”.

Staff: Well, you heard the producer. This is undoubtedly the real deal.

Renga: H-Haha… Fair enough.

Renga: (I’m grateful, but what am I supposed to do…? Ah, I wonder if Ten would like it if I gave this to him.)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Location: HAMA House - Tiger Room

Renga: I’m back~... Wait, where’s Kafka?

Ten: Ahh, Prez is working late tonight.

Renga: Gotcha… Ah, I’ve got a gift for you today, Ten.

*Renga takes something out of a bag*

Renga: …Ta-da!

Renga: It’s a vintage wine. It was given to me by a producer, and I think it’s a good one! Hey, let’s drink it together!

Ten: Ah, sorry, I’m not really a wine guy.

Renga: YOU’RE NOT!!?

Ten: (Wine’s the only thing that gets me really wasted… Still, I’m pretty confident that I’ve got a better tolerance than him.)

Ten: Alright, how about I drink my sake and you drink that wine, Renga-san?

Ten: That way, we’re still technically drinking together.

Renga: That’s true! Alright, let’s do that!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Renga: ‘Cauuuuse~! That’s the kinda shoft-heartednessh that proves that you’re sucha good guy, Ten!

Ten: I know, that’s the third time you’ve told me that.

Ten: (Not even a full glass and he’s already like this.)

Renga: Noooo! I shtill haven’t gotten the point acrossh! Despite how you seem, you’re sucha good guy, Ten…!

Ten: Ow, wasn’t that like sorta a diss?

Renga: Mn~mh… Mmmhmnh…

Ten: Renga-sa~n, if you sleep with your stomach exposed like that, you’ll catch a cold.

Renga: I’ll show you the roshes when they bloom, Ten…

Ten: (Roses? The hell is he going on about?)

Ten: Jesus Christ.

Renga: Ten, let’sh have another drink together again~...

Ten: … Alright, I’m gonna tuck you in now.

*Sheets rustle*

Ten: (Goddamn, this guy is hopeless…)

[notyetneedcoffee]

Icy

Kinktober - Temperature Play NSFW - Adults Only

Fires roared in the massive hearths around the hall, filling the chamber with dancing light and oppressive heat. Men and women of Asgard gathered around tables to drink and share stories of victory. Others danced in knots between musicians.

A drip of sweat ran down your spine under your gown. The wine warmed you as much from the inside as the fires did from the outside. The noise and ruckus behavior of everyone at the party began to rake at your nerves. If you had an excuse to leave you would.

“Such a frown on such a lovely face.” A deep silky voice spoke in your ear.

You smiled up at the angular face of the God of Mischief. His lithe build is a beautiful contraction to the brutish forms of the Asgardian court. Your voice was sweet despite your words. “My head is tired of the endless bragging. My feet are sore because if sit I cannot avoid unwanted conversation. I’d rather leave but I cannot go unless my father does or I’m ordered to. And I’m hot. It’s making me cranky.”

“Ah, yes.” Loki smiled. “I understand your dilemma. Poor thing.”

You felt his fingers trail over your shoulder blade and down your spine. It felt like cool water washing over your baking skin. Sweet relief stole your breath and made your body shiver.

Head snapping around, you found yourself standing alone.

You searched the crowd, but could not see him.

Another sot moved forward as if to engage you, so you quickly skirted the edge of the crowd. Still, you searched for the raven-haired son of Odin. You spot him leaning against a great column, partially hidden in shadow. He stared back, stoking his neck.

Cold invisible fingers stroked your jaw, slid down your neck, and trailed over the top of your breasts. You shivered again, fighting to keep eye contact with him. Your pulse picked up and you felt your nipples tighten against the silk of your gown. The corner of his mouth quirked up as if he knew exactly how your body reacted.

One man bodily threw another into a group of drinkers, kicking off a fight. With the brief distraction, you lost sight of Loki again.

Cold fingers moved your hair aside. You froze. Loki spoke quietly in your ear. “That fight could get out of hand. I think it’s my duty to remove you from any danger.”

You watched the growing fight. “Are you ordering me to leave with you, my lord?”

“Ah, yes.” He slid his hands gently down your arms. “A Prince of Asgard is ordering you to follow him, for your own wellbeing.”

“Yes, my lord.”

You felt his lips tickle your ear. “Oh, I like the sound of that.”

You followed the God of Mischief away from the grand hall. With each step the excitement and anticipation in your stomach grew. The roar of the gathering fell away only to be replaced by the sound of your own heart. You knew Loki, knew him so well that his voice and touch haunted your sleep.

Loki paused in the empty hallway. His smile grew and he waved a hand over one of the carved stones in the wall. The stone melted away to expose a dark doorway. “After you, my dear.”

You stepped through the entrance to find yourself in a dark bed chamber. Large windows looked over Asgard. Somehow you now stood well outside the city, high in the mountains. Various candles flared to life around the room to supplement the illumination of the stars.

“This is quite the getaway.” You turned back to Loki, seeing the doorway no gone.

“And it’s far enough away no one can hear you scream.” Loki smiled wickedly as a green light shimmered over his body. The fine royal armor disappeared, leaving him naked. He was not as large as some of the others, but his body was lithe and hard.

Your breath came quickly as he moved toward you like a predatory beast. As stepped in front of you, an icy shower poured down your body as your own clothes vanished from his magic. His hand gripped your jaw to turn your face to his. His lips began with a soft touch, but as his tongue delved into your mouth his kiss became demanding.

A soft mewl escaped your throat.

Wrapping his arms around you, he lifted you off your feet without breaking the kiss. Your legs wrapped around his waist. He maneuvered through the room, tossing you upon the bed. Loki leaned over you, one knee upon the bed. He lifted both your arms above your head and tied them with soft silken rope.

You watched his eyes drift over your body, the ever-present mischief lighting his eyes.  His fingertips trailed from the hollow of your throat to your hard nipple. His touch as cold as ice. Goosebumps blossomed on your skin and your nipples ached.

A moan escaped as his mouth descended on your breast, sucking hard. His hot tongue brought blessed relief and turned your insides molten. He lavished attention across your chest and moved to nip at your neck.

Loki’s long fingers slipped between your legs, finding you wet and ready for him. Your hips rocked against his hand as he fucked you with his fingers. You felt him smile against the skin of your neck. His thumb brushed your sensitive clit. His touch turned to sudden ice.

You gasped, back arching, and hips pushing into the mattress. Your nerves lit up.

“Don’t run from me.” Loki growled. His touch, freezing cold, rubbed along your heated, sensitive flesh.

Your body shook. Nerves on fire. Senses confused. “Oh, gods!”

“That’s it.” He crawled down to kneel between your legs. The whisper of his heated breath crashed against the frozen touch of his fingers. You trembled. As his tongue lapped at your wetness, you tugged at the bindings for the first time. You desperately wanted to touch him.

Wet, messy sounds filled the room as his fingers pumped in your wet cunt. His mouth nipped and sucked at sensitive flesh. Fire coiled. Your thighs quivered. Curses and cries fell from your lips. Hot and cold. Every nerve screamed for release.

“Loki, please!”

His dark laugh filled your ears as you felt his mouth paint a wet trail up your body. As you sucked his tongue into your mouth, he buried his cock deep. Loki inhaled your scream.

He hiked your legs higher as he came up on his knees. Deep and fast, Loki pounded into you. With hands bound and legs high around his waist, you could only succumb to his whim. Your legs began to shake.

Loki brought your ankle to his mouth, kissing your flesh. “Hold it.” His grip tightened. “Do not come yet. Don’t.”

You breathed deep. Not able to release the intense feeling. Instead it spread, making your chest warm and feet tingle. You watched Loki’s face tighten. His brows drew together. Mouth opened. His fingers gripped you with bruising strength.

“Loki!,” You plead. “God, Loki! Please!”

“Yes!” His hips snapped faster, pushing you into the bed.

Heat bloomed over your body. The intensity stole your breath. So strong. Too much. Loki’s ice cold fingers thrummed against your clit. Shock exploded through your body. The world exploded.

Loki rode through your orgasm, chasing his own, pushing you deep into the mattress, until his roared his own release.

His body covered yours. Absently, you realize your freedom to stroke his back and hair. Loki pulled you close and rolled over. You found yourself draped over him. He smelled so good. Your nose rubbed into his chest. You bounced slightly as he lightly laughed.

“What?” You managed to ask.

“It’s a good thing I brought us here.” Loki kissed your hair. “You did indeed scream.”

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[casperslibrary]

{Finnick Odair x Reader} To Survive The Ocean, First You Must Swim- CHAPTER TWO

After losing her sister to the games and her father to the ocean, her best friend (and supposed love of her life) Emery saves her. Now, as they go into the hunger games together, she is determined to do whatever it takes to save him. But when her mentor ends up being a man she has learnt to hate, she can't help but be frustrated, especially when she realises how little she really hates him, and how much she actually needs him.

chapter one | chapter three | all chapters

WARNINGS: MINOR CHARACTER DEATH | MENTIONS OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING | MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE | DEPRESSION | RUDE LANGUAGE | HEAVY THEMES

It takes about two seconds after I step foot on the train for Finnick to get on my nerves.

“Hello Sweetheart, pretty dress.” He says while eyeing me up and down, no doubt wearing the same face he uses to charm his customers. I never understood why he seemed so content on going back to the Capital every other month. Was he a whore? Or just a slut? Did he sleep with his admirers for fun? Or for money? Considering how much wealth he has just by winning the games, it's most likely the former. One could argue he may do it to distract from all the lives he took in the games. I wonder if my sister won, would she have done the same? No. I don’t think so.

I muster up as much hatred in my stare as I possibly can before turning away from him to examine the train. From what I know my district is one of the wealthier districts, but this train was still nicer than anywhere I’ve ever been. My stomach churns as I realise this was most likely the very same train that took my sister to her death. I try not to think about it too much.

Hadley Deadwood, victor of the 61st hunger games, and my mentor, lays on the couch with one hand over her eyes and the other hand holding onto a glass containing a brown substance. Undoubtedly alcoholic. It wasn’t uncommon for victor's to drink after they win, the worst drinker is from district twelve. His name is Haymitch, I think. I don’t blame them though, having to fight to the death and then send off children to live through exactly what they did - if they live - it's not exactly a fun way to spend your life. I swallow; if Emery wins, would the same happen to him? I could never imagine him turning to liquor to face his problems, but what other choice would he have? 

Looking at Hadley, I realize that there is no way she will be able to mentor me, she can’t even stay sober for more than ten minutes. Mags, a much older victor, probably would have been better for me, but currently she is in hospital due to a stroke. Oh well, my goal is for Emery to win, not me. And as annoying as I find Finnick I must admit he will definitely help him. Sona leads me to my eccentrically lavish room, apparently I’m free to do what I want until supper in the next hour. I lay on top of my bed sheets, gold and blue and as soft as the clouds. I close my eyes, and realise for the first time in my life, the air isn’t tainted with the smell of fish and sea salt. It’s unsettling, I don’t like it. But I am only given a few moments of thought before I hear a knock on my door. 

Emery enters. He does nothing but stare at me and vice versa. His overgrown dark hair falls over his face, his stylists will probably cut it later. I move my attention away from his face and into his eyes. I feel myself getting lost in their green. Reality only regains my attention when I hear his voice speak my name.

“Why did you… why did you volunteer Yin?” Yin… a nickname given to me by his mother, who once remarked that Emery and I were “as close as yin and yang!”. 

“You know why,” I pause for a moment before continuing, “You wouldn’t survive a day in those games without me. You’re too good for it.”

“You shouldn’t have volunteered.”

“Well I did, I volunteered to save your life. So make sure I didn’t do it in vain.”

I know that's not fair to him, to tell him that if he were to die I would have died for nothing, but it’s true. And in any case, I need him to do the best he can to survive, I need him to learn to kill.

For the next few moments Emery and I say little words. For the first time in my five years of knowing Em, I feel a sense of animosity between us, almost as if he were mad at me for trying to save his life. He leaves and I get changed, choosing to wear a simple yellow sundress. I decide to head to supper a few minutes late, not wanting to leave my room. When I do I then have to face the reality of my situation. I have to face the woman that took my sister, the man that lived instead of her, the drunk whom my life depends on, and the boy whose life depends on me.

When I finally find myself seated at the table, I look around for Hadley. She’s nowhere to be seen.

“Hadley’s taking a nap.” Sona says, sensing the reason for my wandering gaze. 

“Of course she is, how am I ever supposed to survive if my mentor can’t even stay conscious half the time?” I mumble quietly under my breath, not quiet enough apparently, because Finnick quickly replies to me.

“I have offered to mentor you instead.”

Huh?  

I wonder why he would do that, it makes no sense. All it does is give him double the work, and what benefit is there to helping me?

“Oh… thank you.” Is all I can think to say in reply.

“No problem, Sweetheart.” He winks at me and gives that Capital winning grin. I hear Sona sigh next to me but all it does is give me the ick. He’s not helping me just to sleep with me, is he? Even for him that seems a bit low. I push the thought away, deciding that if he does try anything I’ll simply kick him where the sun don’t shine. The Capital has rules against hurting other tributes, but they don’t say anything about mentors.

“Don’t call her that, she’s not your sweetheart.” Emery says with a surprisingly firm tone in his voice.

“Ah I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Finnick replies, but the smile on his face says otherwise. “I’m guessing she’s your… girlfriend?”

Emery blushes a bit, before looking back down at the table, his meek demeanor quickly returning. “No, she’s just my friend.”

“Well how lovely is that? I can already see it now! You two holding hands and making friendship bracelets in the arena.” He laughs.

“Enough of that! What can we do to stay alive?” I finally interject. 

“Pulverise your enemies with the magic of friendship.”

I groan and as he brings a glass up to his lips I knock it out of his hands, it shatters on the floor. “That is swarovski!” Sona finally speaks up. We all ignore her.

“Fine, Darling, you really want to know how to survive in the arena? Never trust your friends.”

I can’t reply, because I know what Finnick is saying is true. Instead, we collectively eat in silence. On my plate is a sort of meat stew with broccoli and a side of mashed potatoes. Emery has shoveled a far bigger serving than I have, and although I know it’s due to his past lack of nutrients, I decide it's good to do the same. You never know how much food you’ll get when you enter the arena. One year the arena was completely ice, and no food was available. But chances are the game makers wouldn’t make that mistake again, it was completely anticlimactic apart from the boy that thought it would be a fun idea to eat people. He was quickly killed by an avalanche.

“It’s called Lamb, good right?” Finnick chuckles seeing my face as I stuff myself. I have to admit, the food does taste good, it’s nice to eat something other than fish for a change. I get a second helping, and I want to get a third, but I decide it’s probably not the best idea to vomit onto my plate. I wonder if Finnick would stop flirting with me if I aim for his white shirt instead? Probably, but I would probably also lose my only competent mentor, so I decide to put down my fork. Sona tells us we are expected to arrive at the Capital at nine am tomorrow. Most tributes will arrive sometime in the afternoon, district twelve being last. From what I’ve heard it can be up to a twenty four hour trip from twelve to the Capital. We, on the other hand, are substantially closer. Though I can’t tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

After supper I choose to take a shower, and when I get out I see the light outside my windows getting dimmer. Again, I choose to stay in my room, I don’t even want to see Emery at this moment. But alas, I hear a knock on my door. “Just a minute, Em!” I say as I take off my towel and quickly throw on the first set of pajamas I find. 

Rushing to open the door, I am surprised to be greeted by someone far taller than Emery, I look up and see Finnick staring back down at me. Somehow up into this moment I have never realised how tall he is, probably around 195 cm. In all honesty I don’t like it, Emery being barely taller than me makes me feel safer, whereas Finnick staggering over me is just unsettling. Another point to add to the list of things I don’t like about him. I muse to myself. 

“Sorry to disappoint.” He says in his calm, flirtatious, obnoxious, tone of voice. Matched with an equally arrogant smile. He probably heard me call him Em, nonetheless, I am still curious as to why he is standing at my door.

“Why are you here?” His grin grows wider.

“Well good to see you too.” He enters the room as if it were his. “I came to ask you about your strategy for the games, how you present yourself can be the key between winning or starving somewhere in a ditch.” He talks to me as if I’m a little kid that needs calming down, as if he wasn’t only two years older than me. But I should probably trust him, I mean he did win his games seemingly with ease and quite frankly, he’s all I got.

“Winning is not my goal, my goal is surviving long enough until Emery and I are the last ones standing, then I’ll simply kill myself and let him go home.”

And for a split second, though I may have been imagining it, his perfect facade drops. Though his face contorts itself back into that annoyingly calm composure just as quickly.

“Nonetheless, to last that long you still need a good strategy, are you any good with a trident?”

I shake my head, not too long after my dad drowned they moved me from fishing to preparing the fish. At the time I wasn’t sure why, sure I developed a fear of the water but that never stopped them from forcing other children into the harbor. Not that I had any complaints.

I think back to a moment, a week after his death and a week before my role was changed.

There was a storm, so there was no one out fishing. I found myself on the edge of a cliff, it wasn’t high enough to kill me, but the beach and the water were all below me. My mom is a very superstitious person, she believed that the place of your death is the area where your soul will be resting for eternity. And there, right below me, was where my dads soul was resting. And I thought maybe, just maybe, that if I drowned in the same ocean as him, I could be with him again. So before I even realised it I was falling. Falling then crashing then sinking then dying. 

I must have hit my head on a rock at some point, because the next thing I remember was waking up on the coastline. And then I ran, ran to Emery’s house. At first I assumed someone must have pulled me out and onto the shore, but when no one spoke up I figured it must have been some sweetly cruel act of God. Taking away everything I have and then pushing me away when I wanted it back. 

But in any case, no one knew about my failed attempt, so when they changed my role I figured it must have been a coincidence, but after that day, I never swam again.

“No, my job is preparing the fish, but I am good with a knife because of it.” I finally let out after snapping back to reality.

“Good, knives are cheaper and more common. During training I want you to focus on knife combat and especially knife throwing. It's better than trying to learn a whole new skill in just a week and it will allow you to do well in both hand to hand combat and distance fighting.” Finnick says, and for once he actually sounds serious. I simply nod in return.

“Anyways, about your image,” he continues, “Your volunteering to be with Emery has already put you in the spotlight. I suggest you focus on that, but not to the point where they know you plan to kill yourself in the end. People are not going to sponsor a tribute that has no plans on winning. Talk about how lucky you are to be here, and how you can’t wait to go on this adventure with your boyfriend.”

I cringe, lucky to be here? Boyfriend?

“But were not-”

“It doesn’t matter if you two aren’t actually dating. The capital wants someone to root for, and they are suckers for romance. Trust me I know.” As he says that last sentence, I almost hear pain laced in his voice. But brush off that idea quickly, it makes no sense.

“I already had the same talk with Emery, and besides from the whole romance part, just try your best to be likeable. Got it princess?” His sickeningly perfect smile appears again. And again I feel the urge to barf. But some part of me almost feels… flustered? It’s probably just gratitude. And I have to admit I am in fact grateful, as much as I have hated him in the past, I do see that he is doing his best to help me survive. And as Finnick struts out of my room I come to a disturbing revelation. 

Finnick Odair… isn’t actually all that bad.

[the-fiction-witch]

Hello Nurse P2

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Sweet

Warning vomit / sick/

Part One

I headed into Jack's bedroom seeing him laid in his bed exactly as I left him, still slightly smiling in his drunken state. I laughed heading over and leaning on the bedframe, "Good Morning!?" I smiled He jumped his eyes opening and he clutched his head to aid his headache, "Uhh… Good morning nurse Y/l/n," "You feeling alright?" I smiled, His lips twitched "Please hand me the basin," I chuckled and grabbed the basin from the side handing it over he set it on the floor, and his body moved slightly off the bed, "Please… I need you to step away quickly," I laughed and stepped back a little, and almost immediately he hurled as his stomach ejected everything into the basin, "Ohh dear," I cooed, "Ughh… I thought I was a seasoned drinker, but apparently not." "See. This is why I don't drink Jack," I laughed, "Please… don't look at me… I don't want you to see me like this," I chuckled and sat on his bed helping clean him up and letting him lay on his pillow, "Yeah I know I know… but I mean come on, it's all in good fun right?… I did have a great time last night, you were wonderful as always" He groaned, "What are you talking about Jack?" I laughed, "Last night," He said, "what about last night?" "We didn't?" "No," "But you kissed me?" "I did kiss you, you asked for kisses and you got some kisses but that's all." "So we didn't?" "No, we didn't." "Oh." "how about I make you some nice bacon and scrambled eggs for your hangover? Maybe a nice cup of tea too?" "That honestly sounds wonderful…maybe a bit of toast too?" "no problem if you like I can make you a scrambled egg and bacon toast sandwich?" "You would be my absolute angel if you did that…" "Coming right up and I'll bring you some water for your headache," I smiled kissing his forehead, I went and made him a nice breakfast bringing it over and handing it over, he happily took it and began eating in his hung-over state. "You are an angel…" "Aww thank you, now come along my little devil boy, eat up and you'll feel better," He happily ate without much of a word until he was done and laid back on his pillow trying to keep his head straight, "Could you do me one little favour?" "Yes, Jack?" "Could I get one more kiss? just to thank you for such a delicious breakfast?" "you really think that's wise given you were sick and have not yet brushed your teeth?" "Please?" I rolled my eyes and gave him a soft kiss, "Ummm that was very… very nice," he cooed, "I'm glad," I smiled, "so you going to enlighten me? On what you thought happened last night?" "Well…well…there's no easy way to put this so I'll just spit it out..I thought you slept with me…" "Did I now?" "You did," "So what you got drunk at the cat and bagpipes staggered back to the hospital and asked for a kiss. And I bought you up here kissed you tucked you in then… Cuddled up with you," "I thought so…" "Did we just cuddle?" "No. other things," "What sort of other things?" "We made love… passionately, we did everything my little nurse," "Ohh? Did you ravish me doctor dawkins?" I joked, "Ohh I did, I utterly ravished you," "Did you steal me away and pleasure me relentlessly? Did you make me your little princess? And make me bare your children?" "I did." he nodded, "I may have even said I… loved you," "Aww how sweet," I smiled giving him a soft kiss, "sounds like a very nice dream jack," "It was… it was more than that…in that fantasy, I was with the most beautiful, smart and caring woman I have ever met all night long…" "if only I was the most beautiful girl," "you are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on…" he smiled pulling me back into a kiss, "it would be sweet, now you rest that poor hungover head and I'll take care of my sweet jack," I smiled tucking him in and kissing his head, "Ummm thank you, nurse…" "You're very welcome doctor,"

[pandorafallz]

Ashes in her Wake | C7

Kìoetey smiled as she watched as Na’vi and human interacted as she took her return to the base, low music echoing about and there was the lingering scent of food wafting about and her mouth almost pooled in anticipation as soon as she caught it. Even her stomach growled loudly but it wouldn’t be empty for long if she could help it.

Her eyes ran ahead, glad to see the cooks by the fire and still handing out the goods so she wasn’t late for anything either. She directed her route and happily accepted the leaf plate of steamed meat and charred vegetables and nodded her thanks as she took her leave with it.

She didn’t have to go too far as she spotted Ri’nela exiting the airlock so she headed over toward her and greeted her with a gesture. “<I see you, Ri’nela.>”

Ri’nela returned the gesture. “<I see you, but why so formal?>” Ri’nela chuckled.

“<Hardly formal, but I’m trying to get into the habit.>” It seemed formal but Kìoetey knew it was a general greeting, like two humans saying ‘hello’ after some small time apart. They had to get used to it. “How’s the party?”

Ri’nela hummed, “A good number of drunk humans already on that supply of Whiskey. A few passed out already. Jason’s been subjected to being drawn on since he was the first out. He got really into the celebration early,” She looked mildly amused. “Seems our humans don’t have the same tolerance to alcohol since they’re no longer as exposed to the substance.”

Kìoetey snorted a little. “We’re not exactly heavy or light drinkers either. I might pass out after a sniff of Kava.”

“Maybe we should try.”

Kìoetey tisked, gently leading Ri’nela away as the airlock door shut behind her, signalling someone wanted to come through so let her sit a little away from the people. A familiar face looked to be very not in the party mood, but not disrupting either as she made her way through the crowd and no doubt towards the airlock.

“How’s Anqa been since she came back?” Kìoetey said, watching Priya come out but almost walk into her girlfriend before Anqa led the way back in, slinging her arm around her side.

“Quiet. Hurt. Embarrassed she dragged you into something needlessly that could have gotten you killed” Ri’nela listed off gently but her gaze was soft. “I’ve already assured her that it was okay and it wasn’t anything to feel silly about.”

“Thank you.” Kìoetey knew Anqa had a lot of pride, given how the pilot had been like when she had found her tablet of feels lost in the Aranahe land but the women often had her feelings pulled back from the surface. “I’ll talk to her later, providing she’s sober. Maybe Priya will get her to relax.”

“Maybe get her laid. If you can’t find either one of them, don’t look too hard.”

“Noted,” Kìoetey opened up her leaf and quite quickly wolfed it down as they observed. Jin-young was… passed out in a box of package peanuts by one of the Na’vi crafting stations and thankfully, undisturbed and out of the way so no one moved him but it didn’t look comfortable. She’d get him moved inside before he’d wake in pain. The fact he was out for the count already did sadden her a little; it seemed purposeful to avoid the party but also the difficulty of everyone keeping him awake for hours.

“Anufi made a small appearance but didn’t stay too long after a cup of Kava. Minang is about with Nesim and Etuwa is here.” Ri’nela relayed. “They’re talking with So’lek inside. I think So’lek plans to spar with Nesim in one of the caves we set up for the Zeswa.”

“That’ll be fun to watch.”

Nesim seemed very formidable and very down to fight but So’lek had a very unique style and up for a challenge. Perhaps Kìoetey had read into it a little much but she felt like either the two would be good friends or a good match as mates. Nesim was fierce with heat and fire but So’lek had a more soothing tendency to his own fierceness that seemed to… show a respectable balance in their actions. Good chemistry.

“Indeed. I do genuinely wonder who will win. Neither seem the sort to land on their backs either.” Ri’nela chuckled.

Kìoetey’s good mood tapered a little as she noticed the lesser welcome figure step into her line of sight. She watched Cortez hesitate a little but beat through that clear internal debate to get a few feet away before she spoke.

“Kìoetey, can I… have a word?” She asked, her eyes flickering about anxiously.

Kìoetey eyed the Dreamwalker for a moment, then spared a glance to Ri’nela before she nodded but didn’t get up.

“Privately.” Cortez tried, her eyes flickering to Ri’nela then back but she didn’t move or bat an eye.

“No,” Kìoetey said, not that she didn’t want a more private conversation, but she felt… distrustful to have it with Cortez alone. Distrust in Cortez but also… Kìoetey didn’t trust herself either. She knew she had lashed out at Cortez when the women returned and had almost said much more damaging words than she already had but she needed Ri’nela here to keep her from reacting as harshly again and actually say them. She didn’t wish to be that mean or cruel after everything the woman had been through the last week. “I need her here.”

But Cortez was still too much of a sore spot.

Cortez’s jaw tensed up. “Kìoetey…”

“I need her here.” Kìoetey repeated, “What do you want?”

From her pocket, she pulled out a small paper sheet; a folded post-it note and held it out. “Before I go, I want to give you this.”

“Oh,” So Cortez was actually taking her suggestion and leaving to the field labs. She felt pleasantly surprised and took the little piece of paper, opening it up to see a scrawling of numbers. She recognised the layout for what they were. Coordinates. “What’s this to?”

“Aha’ri’s grave.”

Kìoetey felt her mood plummet instantly and her ears rose in alarm but it felt like a small blow to her gut. “W…what?”

Cortez didn’t meet her eye. “I… I stole Aha’ri’s ashes after her cremation and buried them outside the school. Mercer either wanted to dump them or put them on his shelf so… I switched her out with some old ash and sand mix. I was just… gonna leave the coordinates for you but figured to give them to you myself before I go.” Her shoulders slumped as she said that.

Kìoetey swallowed the lump in her throat down, folding the piece of paper back up and hastily shoved it safely into her hip-pouch with a nod. “T-Thank you.”

“I also…” Cortez started, “came to apologise. I’m sorry for my part in what happened to your people and for not telling you sooner.” Her gaze turned more down to Ri’nela as she said this, making Kìoetey snort dryly but only glad that the women didn’t expand with the same excusing nonsense she had said to her yesterday.

“Why didn’t you say sooner, Cortez?” Ri’nela pressed, unaware of her and Cortez’s earlier talk of this exact topic. “There were lots of times you could have pulled us aside to tell us. Our clan wouldn’t have abandoned us and Aha’ri knew that and yet you still said nothing and let us believe it all the same.”

“I couldn’t have ever told you during TAP,” Cortez stated as if it was obvious, “If I told you, I would have been removed from the project and you’d be left at the full mercy of Mercer and Harding and the chances are, he would have killed you the moment you defied him. You’d all certainly be dead because I wouldn’t have been there to shoot those soldiers.”

She had a point there, unfortunately.

“What about when you put us in the cold sleep? Or at the resistance base? We spent weeks around you.” Ri’nela pressed. “You could have let us go and we could have had a good Sarentu clan with growing roots by now.”

“I was unable to get you out,” Cortez repeated. “It would have been impossible.”

Kìoetey touched Ri’nela’s shoulder to stop her from pulling that thread; Kìoetey had overheard a little from Cortez’s private talk with Jin to know that was honest. Although the fact Cortez was able to bury her sister’s ashes outside and yet not get them outside was a mild contradiction to what was said. Something either changed or it was another lie. Didn’t matter now.

Ri’nela let out a heavy breath. “You owed us the truth, Cortez but we don’t owe you forgiveness.”

Cortez’s eyes dropped. “I know. At least now you got the truth you wanted from me but… I have to ask, is that why you saved me?”

There was an odd emotion in her eyes as she asked that, her gaze flickering between them. Kìoetey didn’t meet her gaze. She didn’t know how to answer that question.

Surprisingly, Ri’nela didn’t answer either and she sniffed and shrugged. “Does it really matter? You’re alive now.”

Something in Cortez’s face changed a wash of emotion crossed over her face before she seemed to blank off entirely and her lips pursed together. Her gaze now turned somewhat colder. “Since… I’ clearly of no value to you, I’ll take my leave now.” Cortez turned and hurried away in long strides.

“Cortez…” Kìoetey started.

“Let her go.” Ri’nela stated, “It’s not worth it right now.”

Distantly, Cortez scoffed before she vanished into the communal area.

“Ri’nela...” Kìoetey turned to her friend. “Was that really necessary?”

“This is a party and a celebration and I don’t want her to ruin it for us. We’re free of Mercer for good now but she’s just asking for an argument.”

“You didn’t help, Ri’nela. You kept it open with your own questions.”

Ri’nela let out a tense breath again. “I know. Sorry.”

Kìoetey’s hand came to her hip-pouch. “Once she’s settled at the field labs, we can try and talk more civilly with her.” It’d give Cortez to cool down and get her head into gear. “<But… I’m glad to hear that Aha’ri isn’t lost.>” She could appreciate the woman’s action at that at the very least. She could set Aha’ri to rest the Na’vi way now once she retrieved her. Somewhere special. Somewhere where she deserved to be.

They were softly interrupted as Teylan seemed to appear with a small tray of food and settled on the floor with them. “This food smells wonderful.” He grinned down at his selection. “Did you want to try some with me? I even have some Zeswa cheeses. I do like those the best so far.”

Kìoetey smiled softly but allowed him to occupy her attention and crouched beside him, missing Cortez as she left.

-

It was odd, setting aside her feelings at the bitter truth that was far too obvious now to actually get her things together and it made the burden of her bag light on her back as she walked. Alma stopped briefly at the sidelines to spare a last glimpse to the Sarentu but they were too occupied and happy with Teylan now to notice.

That prickled her eyes with unshed tears but it oddly steered her into moving. A part of her not wishing to be here. To be around them anymore. A fuel to a fire despite the cold dread of leaving for an unknown future.

“Here. So you don’t die stupidly.” One human woman, she didn’t pay them any attention really but accepted the Spear that was held out in her way—resistance made with some Na’vi influence—but said nothing as she continued on. “You’re welcome…” the woman muttered after her.

It was still light, but perhaps an hour away or so from twilight. The Kame’tire clan was less than a mile away, so she had about 20 minutes to reach the Hollows on foot. The closest field lab from the Hollows was Stony Glade Station which was more uphill from the clan by about three hundred metres. Not far at all, really if they rejected her.

Alma didn’t allow herself to think more about that. She hadn’t seen too many new Kame’tire at the party but she hazard most were celebrating with their people. The clan had been apart for too long, made sense they’d celebrate together first before they split to celebrate with the other clans. The resistance might celebrate for one day but the chances were, the celebrations were going to continue for a while. A few days, maybe.  Still, she had to hope Anufi was about and sober to talk to her.

It seemed she had earned some favour from Eywa to avoid running into any wildlife that didn’t run away first. The sound of music echoed, the drums and flutes the loudest and her stomach churned with the anticipation of what she had to ask for. What choice did she have at a time like this?

A few people were out, some sparing her curious looks but she passed them with no complaints until she reached the entryway of the Hollows and was stopped by Uwol. She watched his frown, taking in her bag and clearly borrowed spear and could tell she had a purpose beyond a simple visit.

“<You return so soon, Dreamwalker.>” he noted. “<What is your purpose?>”

“<I need to talk to Anufi.>” Alma said calmly, glad for once her voice had strength to it. “<I have a…request I must ask of her.>”

Uwol spared her a moment then nodded Hastu to linger as he disappeared into the crowd. Neither of them spoke but she let the young man watch her curiously.

Minutes passed on but it felt like forever by the time she saw Uwol return with Anufi but she was shadowed by Sa’ney and Zamhil.

Anufi’s head tilted a fraction, her tail continually swishing a little side-to-side as she looked at her and there was a cup of Kava in her hand but it was only half-consumed from the looks of it. “<Alma, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.>” She noted, “<Is something wrong? Uwol mentioned you had a request to make.>”

Alma swallowed thickly. “<The… resistance as seen fit to remove me from the group entirely. Exile.>” Her mouth was dry as she spoke, “<At first, a few wanted me out of my leadership role but it’s progressed to my place entirely. I cannot return to them now.>”

Anufi’s eyes widened a fraction and she saw Sa’ney’s brow rise in surprise as well.

“<Was this agreed by the Sarentu?>” Anufi asked, her cup lowering and her brow pulled in in a soft frown as if confused.

“<Yes. While neither Kìoetey nor Ri’nela was present at the presentation given to me by the Resistance, they seemed to know and support the notion from my talks with them since.>” Alma said honestly, her throat thickening a little. “I tried to talk to them before I left but… they admitted I had little use to them now they know the truth.>”

Anufi handed her cup to Zamhil coming to carefully set her warm hand on her shoulder. “<I sympathise with the burden of grief this had left you with but… if you are here to ask for shelter, I cannot grant it.>”

“<Anufi…>” Sa’ney started, “<Is that wise to refuse?>”

Anufi turned to her clan mate with a shallow sigh. “<It grants me no pleasure to refuse, Sa’ney.>” she started, “<Nor is it a simple situation. Mokasa was the one to spill the Sarentu’s blood with his betrayal but some of that blood has touched you, Almacortez.>”

“<I understand. I… hoped but did not expect anything.>” She tightened her grip on her spear. “<Thank you for your time, Tsahìk.>” Alma saw little reason to hold her here any longer, so she gave her good-bye gesture and took her leave up the mountainside, well aware of the eyes on her back before they separated and went back to the party.

Her eyes stung and her heart began to feel the turmoil she had trying to ignore. The terrain was hard to walk with her side with the weight of her bag but she used the spear to help support her weight up and make it more bearable. It wasn’t until she saw the field lab that she finally let the tears fall down her cheeks. Her breathing got a little harder as she sucked in tapering breaths before she found herself inside the lab (which was kicked into life already, no doubt courtesy of Kìoetey) and Alma found herself simply setting her bag down from her back which was an immediate relief before she sunk herself down into the floor, pulling her neck scarf from herself but hugged it to herself before she felt the walls she had forced up crumble before the wash of an ocean of grief swamped her….

Her vision was blurred, her breathing short and rapid but each son that tore past her lips was heavy and ached her ribs but she couldn’t stop it either, her mind fuzzy with the emotion to really take notice, even as she flopped onto her side and the cold metal floor barely registered biting at her skin.

….

…

Alma found herself curled up in a ball, not knowing what time or day it was or how long it had been as she was weighed down by blanketing grief and exhaustion that was like a fog. Her side still ached and she could feel her eyes still streaming with tears and her throat felt sore but was passively pleased to be done with the physical sobs.

She had no energy to get up. So she didn’t.

It didn’t feel so overwhelming or impending but she felt swamped by all of it. Like treading water under a moving tide that went back and forth along a rough stone beach and she couldn’t yet fathom which way was up.

At least now, she could breathe.

-

-

“<Almacortez?>”

She jolted awake, groaning instantly at the sharp light suddenly in her eyes before she slung her arm over her face to block it out. Her mind was hazy before she began to make sense of her… her. She felt grotty. Damp in places—hopefully just sweat—and her face felt crusty and hot. She could also feel a tinging pins-and-needle sensation running down her tail which wasn’t pleasant.

“<Alma? You’re very dehydrated, you must drink.>”

It took a second to recognise that voice. “Okul?” Her voice was raspy, cracking a little as she spoke.

“<Yes. I am here.>” Okul stated, a hand coming to touch her arm.

Alma wiped her eyes, clearing the gunk to open to see Okul just… leaning over here from a mat a few feet away, their eyes careful but pleased to see her awake, it seemed. They leant back and picked up a mug from the side.

“<You’ve been strewing in your grief for almost a day. I allowed you time to rest to recover from the exhaustion but you must at least drink to recover your water levels.>”

Alma found herself staring at them. “<D…Did…Anufi send you?>”

“<In some part, yes to ensure you were safe. She feared you may hurt yourself or worse in the grief of exile and our rejection.>” Okul admitted, “<She does not wish that fate upon you.>”

It sounded almost touching. Alma felt very little about that right now, too emotionally spent.

She could care another day.

With more pestering, Alma slowly slouched up from her spot on the floor, watching the cup of lightly tinted water that was set into her hands before it took another prod to bring it up to her lips and drunk.

It was mostly water, cool and soothing as she sipped but was lightly flavoured with something with a menthol and floral but she felt the fog in her mind lighten a little and some energy return. It didn’t chase it all away though. Shame.

“<I will make you something to eat. You will need your energy.>”

“<No, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine.>” Alma mumbled. She didn’t need their help.

“<One day you will be but you’re not okay right now. While the Kame’tire will not house you, we will not exile you. Your crime and Mokasa’s are different in intent and should not bear the same weight. That is why you’re refused.>” Okul explained, patting her back. “<Stay there.>”

Alma let out a heavy sigh, rolling a lingering bead of water around her cup, not knowing what to say. Okul though moved and eyed the Resistance’s cooking station but opted to use it since it was readily available and lit the fires to get it ready.

 She watched the Na’vi for a long moment before she leaned into the wall, taking slow deep breaths and her eyes prickled again.

“<H-how long has it been?>”

“<It is almost noon, I believe. I’d hazard a guess it has been about seventeen hours since you left The Hollows.>” Okul called.

Seventeen hours. It hadn’t felt like that. It all was… a blur. She didn’t remember passing out but no one ever did, she supposed. Right now she just felt too lost to really care.

Soon enough, Alma blinked to see a small leaf with some egg-washed meat inside held out in front of her. She took that and Okul took the cup.

“<Will you be staying at this human structure or will you be moving on?>” Okul asked, setting the cup down but pulling their own leaf of food from the side and joining her on the floor, eating carefully with their fingers.

“<This is a resistance lab so… I’ll have to leave at some point.>” Alma said tiredly, “<I… haven’t thought too far ahead but this was the closest place that was safe if I wasn’t welcomed. A temporary place, really.>” She picked at her food but it was… really nice to eat. Tasted wonderful, actually. “< I don’t know where my future is but… it’s not here.>”

“<So you’re to travel. It is not a bad future. We have many wanderers with no clan. Often they’re traders.>”

“<I have nothing, Okul. No goods to trade and I am a Dreamwalker which sets me aside from any Na’vi. No one will take me in.>”

Okul raised their head, their eyes flickering to her hands for a moment. “<It won’t be easy but there are clans that have never seen a sky person or a Dreamwalker. It is not impossible to find one of them that will be more willing to harbour you. Why not consider the clans here? Zeswa? Aranahe? Your history garners no weight on their ties with you.>”

“<Zeswa won’t see me as anything less than a burdening Dreamwalker. Nesim and So’lek for that matter, made that obvious. I do… need to get to the Kinglor forest to pick a few things up but… I don’t see myself with them either. The… Sarentu are rather close with them. I’d rather avoid crossing paths with them.>”

Okul remained quiet for a long moment, eating in careful consideration so Alma did the same, feeling a little better by the time she was done and less tired. She groaned a little as she stood up, her hand drifting to her side before she took a few shallow breaths.

“<Are you in pain?>”

“<It’s nothing.>” She leaned down, pulled her bag forward and opened up the side pocket for her meds, pulling out her pills and downing them dry. “<Thank you… for looking out for me. I didn’t…expect that.>”

Okul nodded, smiling softly with her words of application. “<The… Kame’tire knows all too well what is it like to have people turn their back on you. I was not born at the time of the Sarentu’s disappearance but I’ve grown up with that isolation from the others. The warmth and light of the other clans is foreign to me but I wish my clan to grow more in that light now we are no longer in the shadows. I can do the same for you.>”

Alma felt her eyes prickle with tears again. “<Even after what I did?>”

Okul nodded. “<You’ve already suffered dearly for your actions. Your life was stolen from you, even if you exist now in a new form. I see little reason to cause more harm when you need to learn and grow to survive on Eywa’s child.>” They rose to their feet. “<I need to go now and let Anufi know of your well-being. I will be back tomorrow morning and I expect you to be taking care of yourself. Use the time to rest some more and think of your future, what you will need to take with you and what you should leave behind. The weight of your past will not help you.>” They nodded to her bag at that.

Alma managed a weak smile, despite her grief she felt a small spark of hope in all of her darkness.

Masterlist

[handeaux]

Not Exactly Vampires, Many Cincinnatians Indulged A Craving For Fresh Blood

A curious article appeared in the Cincinnati Medical Advance for November 1875, alerting local doctors that a number of their patients had adopted a peculiar diet.

“It may not be generally known that, like New York, Cincinnati has its blood drinkers – consumptives and others who daily visit the slaughterhouses to obtain the invigorating draught of ruddy life-elixir, fresh from the veins of beeves. Lawrence’s slaughter house, opposite the Oliver Street Police Station, has its daily visitants who drink blood; and the slaughter houses of the Loewensteins on John Street, a few squares away have perhaps half a dozen visitants of the same class.”

Yes, you read that correctly. Back when Cincinnati butchers operated abattoirs all over the fringes of the downtown area, they provided free blood to anyone who stopped by and asked for a glass. It is no surprise that a macabre practice such as this would attract Cincinnati’s legendary chronicler of the bizarre, Lafcadio Hearn, and indeed it did. Hearn published his report of a visit to the Loewensteins in the 26 July 1876 edition of the Cincinnati Commercial.

“Between the hours of 2 and 4 o’clock almost any afternoon, the curious visitor may observe many handsomely dressed ladies and others enter the cleanly, well-kept establishment in question, and waiting, glass in hand, for a draught of crimson elixir, yet warm from the throat of some healthy bullock. Just as soon as the neck of the animal is severed by one rapid slash of the ‘Schochet’s’ long blade, glass after glass is held to the spouting veins and quickly handed to the invalids, who quaff the red cream with evident signs of pleasure, and depart their several ways.”

Hearn’s reference to a Schochet identifies the Lowenstein slaughter house as following kosher practices. The Schochet is a ritual slaughterer, certified by the local rabbi to practice his craft. That the Loewenteins followed kosher practice was an important distinction for Hearn, who had previously described his displeasure while observing gentile butchery.

“Many who can drink the blood of animals slaughtered according to the Hebrew fashion, can not stomach that of bullocks felled with the ax. The blood of the latter is black and thick and lifeless; that of the former bright, ruddy and clear as new wine.”

While most of Cincinnati’s blood drinkers were satisfied with a single tumbler of fresh blood, Hearn relates the experience of a “short, well-built but pallid-looking” man who downed glass after glass of blood and strolled away, apparently satiated. When he next reappeared, ten days later, he was asked if all that blood had made him queasy or nauseous. He replied that he could drink gallons of blood at a time but confessed that his latest sanguinary binge had caused him to go blind for a week.

“Yet, having recovered his vision, he believed that he could see better than ever.”

Hearn interviewed several doctors who insisted that drinking fresh beef blood could never produce blindness, temporary or otherwise. In fact, most of Hearn’s medical informants told him they discouraged their patients from imbibing in slaughter-house blood at all.

“I have always warned my consumptive patients against drinking blood,” one doctor told Hearn. “The latter practice is both morally and physically detrimental.”

Despite medical objections, Hearn gulped a tall glass of blood himself and provided detailed tasting notes.

“Fancy the richest cream, warm, with a tart sweetness, and the healthy strength of the pure wine ‘that gladdeneth the heart of man!’ It was a draught simply delicious, sweeter than any concoction of the chemist, the confectioner, the winemaker – it was the very elixir of life itself.”

A decade later, according to an article in the Cincinnati Times [12 February 1885] Cincinnatians were still lining up for bloody drinks. The Times reporter asked an emaciated man how his unusual dietary supplement tasted.

“Like salted milk,” he replied. “And some put salt in the blood, but I do not feel that it makes it more palatable.”

The Times recorded a visit to the slaughter house by a man of eighty years in age, who had walked three miles to get a glass of blood. He claimed that he had been a near invalid when a friend suggested a regular glass of the stuff. The old man boasted he now walked six miles a day and felt stronger than he had when he was fifty.

The proprietor informed the Times that his slaughter house always kept a supply of dark blue glasses on hand for new patients. The tinted glass disguised the color of the drink they were offered and allowed them to get used to the taste. After a few visits, the very demeanor of the blood drinkers changed, often radically.

“I know of one person whom it did change in that way. At first she could not bear even the sight of blood, and was weak, sickly, delicate and timid, but finally she got all over this and liked to see a steer killed, especially if the beast was game.”

One bloody quaff certainly had a dramatic effect on Lafcadio Hearn, who sailed off into a rhapsodic endorsement of this strange elixir, tempered by a premonition that a taste of blood might result in a decidedly unwanted transformation of character.

“No other earthly draught can rival such crimson cream, and its strength spreads through the veins with the very rapidity of wine. Perhaps this knowledge originated that terrible expression, ‘drunk with blood.’ That the first draught will create a desire for a second; that a second may create an actual blood-thirstiness in the literal sense of the word; that such a thirst might lead to the worst consequence in a coarse and brutal nature, we are rather inclined to believe is not only possible, but probable.”

The Schochet informed Hearn that he himself, following Mosaic law, had never tasted blood. Hearn, after pondering the effects of a single warm glass, advised the “healthy and vigorous” to follow the instructions of Moses and abstain. Hearn feared that blood-drinking, while beneficial to the sickly and infirm, would drive healthy individuals onto a bestial quest for even more vile excesses.

“Perhaps it was through occasional indulgence in a draught of human blood (before men’s veins were poisoned with tobacco and bad liquor) that provoked the monstrous cruelty of certain Augustinian Emperors.”

[jackiequick]

Rare moment.. | Marvel Fanfic

Timeline: Phase 1 Pre—Avengers — Phase 2 Pre—Iron Man 3

Non romantic-Pairing: Jason Underwood & Pepper Potts

Characters mentioned: Howard Stark, Peggy Carter, Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Maria Stark, Tony Stark, Edward & Ana Jarvis and etc

Summary: You rarely see a man who’s face never looked like anything phases him, but what happens when the chips are down and his emotions take front line one night? It’s a rare moment but it makes you remember how human he really has been.

——

It was late or early in some accounts, when he awakened from his slumber. There were nights he didn’t sleep and if he did, it was short. Usually he would occupy his mind with whatever was on TV, packing for a trip and or, start cleaning up a small mess. But tonight, it didn’t suit him.

He sat near the open bar in the kitchen, leaning against the counter in his pjs rubbing his eyes and pouring himself another drink. He already had a snack from the fridge to not upset his stomach or anything. His mind looked crowded, it always seemed crowded in his opinion.

He sighed, taking a sip of his drink and exhaled.

And that’s exactly how Pepper found it.

She originally headed out to the bathroom but once she left, she noticed the lights on. That’s when she stumbled upon the blonde hair man of the house sipping a drink, it was a rare occasion. Jason was always a day drinker during a Sunday brunch or a simple weekday. But this, this was rarely the last thing she wanted to see at the moment.

She expected a late night snack at least, not a glass of cold wine.

“Jason?” She asked making her presence known, “Are you alright?”

“Huh?” He responded turning to face the strawberry blonde with a soft half smile, “I’m fine. Did I wake you?”

“N-no, I just headed out of the bathroom to pee, and I saw you here. Is something going on?”

“N-no, Pep it’s fine. I’m fine, just couldn’t sleep.”

“So you decided to drink instead?”

“Not my best moment ever seen but I had worse. I’m sorry you had to see me like this. Go back to bed.”

“Tony’s knocked out cold in his lab downstairs, he won’t be waking up anytime soon.”

Jason sighed deeply, he wanted to be alone with his drink and crackers to be honest. He wanted to be miserable in his thoughts. But he knew he wasn’t going get free of Pepper that easily. She was tough and always knew when to stand her ground. He pulled up a chair for her as she nodded, thanking him.

“What’s on your mind? You can tell me, I promise I won’t try to judge you on anything.” Said Pepper, knowing the men in this household mindsets were beyond compared to hers.

He sniffled and sighed, “It’s a lot. It’s a lot more complicated than you think.”

“Try me. I’ve seen weird stuff lately.”

“Heh, uh, I have been thinking. When am I not thinking? I’ve been trying to ease my mind on everything. I know I can’t control half of it but theses thoughts keep me up at night.”

“What do you mean?”

“My lifetime achievements are nothing special. I mean—I enjoy what I do! I get to see you, Tony, Rei, Rhodey and visit Peggy whenever possibly. But it doesn’t..um..crap.”

“It doesn’t what?”

“It doesn’t ever take away the guilt and painful decisions I’ve seen happen.”

Jason could’ve stayed quiet at that moment but the words just came out. He lived longer than expect, he has seen his own family fall and risk they’re lives. Sometimes he wishes he could end it, stop it from eating up inside but he can’t. It hurt, so much more than he knows. It was a rare occasion to see him say something like this, Pepper knows it. Tony knows it.

He always acts like nothing ever phases him and that he’s always fine. He has been doing that for a long period of years now. Always feeling like he has too, there is so much happening in the world that he can’t put that burden on anyone on how he feels. He never gets time to panic, react a certain way and or externally freak out.

But moments like this, he crumbles as his mind starts boggling and he can’t help it.

His voice hitches as he sniffed again, “It doesn’t take wipe away the whole truth. The guilt. The pain and the damage that happened…”

“What guilt? Sorry I’m not following me..” Pepper ask wholeheartedly, she knew of his story but not all of it.

“I’ve fought for paperwork, payed more than expected and traveled just to keep myself alive and safe..just for i don’t get questioned by authorities for how I look. Just for i can breath and watch Tony grow up. I thank Peggy every single day for taking care of him, her godson, when one of us couldn’t do it. But it doesn’t take away the fact that I was left behind..right where they left me..alone…”

His voice was shaky but he kept calm, taking a breath. Pepper put a hand on his shoulder.

“You seem happy now…?” She whispered, trying to be careful with her words.

“Not 100% happy.” He admitted, “I mean. Sometimes I just feel tired. It’s this tiredness and empty chest pain knowing I can’t do a freaking thing about it. I lost my sister cause she didn’t care about anyone but herself, I lost Howard and Maria…they were my family, as much as fought I loved them..Ana and Jarvis..t-they were the kindest people I met…but never had the chance to have their own children..it was horrible Pepper...i can still remember it all…what we been though..”

“What about Jack, Daniel and Peggy? I know you said Jack Thompson died being shot down during an investigation..i don’t know the details..”

“No one does..I still to do this day, as much as Jack was a pain my ass, I liked the man. I don’t know who murdered him or why..Daniel went on to almost married Peggy but he knew something was always holding him back. The SSR—SHIELD said he died during a mission, but I don’t feel like it was right..and Peggy…oh Pep..the times I thought I lost that women..”

“Oh JJ..it’s okay..it’s life and Peggy is still alive and kicking for the most part.”

“There’s peoples that I met but I don’t even think you or Tony know about. And now..”

Jason voice kept riding upwards and tears started to roll in, shaking his head, he chuckled. It would’ve looked hilarious to him, but how he carries so much weight on his shoulders and never felt like he can let some of it go. Pepper was kind enough to listen to him so late at night, when she should be asleep instead, in bed under the warm covers.

But she’s here listening to him talk, not interrupting him or telling him to stop talking about that. It was always the other way around, where he always listens and let everyone else talk. He was thankful for Pepper in that moment and hoped Tony married such an amazing women. She deserves to be more than just his assistant.

“..and now what?” She said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“And now with how much the world is changing…I’m scared, no terrified what I will see next. We have gods, mutants, more men and women in suits, genetically modified people, and no knows what?! I um..shit i don’t know..” Jason replied sniffing, “The fact that Captain freaking America is alive still feels unreal to me.”

“Me too. It’s crazy. I think i had to get a drink after hearing that news.”

“I remember hearing the radio about his death during the war, Peggy crying her eyes outs that the fact she lost him, Howard feeling like he’s maybe still around wanting to search for him…and..now knowing how much I know..I think my pain will hurt more if..”

“If what?”

“If the people who I thought were dead were alive all this time but hidden behind some block of ice. It’s terrible how much I fear the thought I might’ve been lied to and it was not even justifiable that we’re only finding out now..”

Jason knows something that Tony and the public must’ve taken for granted. Must’ve missed out on and forgot about. Howard Stark’s little sister, Elizabeth Stark, Tony’s aunt and one of friends he cared for.

Lizzie or Liz for short.

His friend group originally consisted of himself, Peggy, Angie, Howard, Hank, Maria, Jarvis, Ana, Daniel, Elizabeth and a few others.

And he remembers the day Lizzie died during a mission, they were heartbroken. He remembers the long standing nights, the wishes, the questions and everything. Where he thought he should’ve been himself. Replace his life, for she could live and see the world.

And he saw her again, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He would probably panic, hold back a sob or two, feel sick to his stomach, question how she survived for so long and god knows what?!

His mind would feel like it split in two, as if he didn’t feel like that already.

Trade his life for her. Take a bullet for her and all their friends. But now, he doesn’t know what to think.

“Pepper, what if I was supposed to be gone already?” He wondered.

“JJ, no, don’t say that. You were meant to meet us. I believe that you were given a chance to live longer and see the world.” Pepper exclaimed.

“What happened to the no judgement part? I’m kidding. It’s just feels like I can’t breathe sometimes. My life stopped being what I would considered normal the moment I fell into the water that night and my heart stopped. I was practically died for what must’ve been 5 long minutes…it took me forever to realize what happened that during nightmare of a week..”

“Do you regret it?”

“Sometimes more than most. I wished it wasn’t like this. Honestly, it acts like blessing and feels like curse..you can’t grow old enough to be with someone, you have to love and lose people. It’s why I never married or have any kids, that I know one.”

Pepper chuckled at that, they both chuckled at the last comment. It would be funny if a kid randomly showed up at they’re doorstep claiming that they’re father was him, but it won’t happen.

“I wish I could. I wish I could’ve had a wife or hell, even husband.” He said with soft chuckle, “But I don’t date. I don’t want to have a girlfriend where I can’t give them, everything they wished for.”

He thought about Angie and Violet. But he knew he couldn’t give them everything they would’ve like, still he would’ve married at least Angie.

He fell for Violet deeply she was an Angel but his heart danced and flutter when around Angie.

“And kids? I mean besides Tony and Rei, your nephews and nieces from Peggy’s family.” Pepper repiled with a chuckle, “If you couldn’t have a wife or husband, you could have one. You just need that push but what about a kid?”

“I would enjoy my own kid in my life, even if it’s just for a while.” He replied, “But I won’t make them sacrifice their lives, since the first few years would be great and we’ll have fun…but when they become older and I stay the same, they will have to lie. Not be able to introduce me to everyone as they’re father since the age difference. Or worse, they have to lie saying I’m they’re nephew or son instead, when they get into their late 40s and 50s. It will be a balancing act for them having to lie..”

“Hmm..wow, you come up with everything, don’t you?”

“No because it’s true. It happened. I didn’t ask for Tony, Sharon and Hope to keep up lie that wasn’t theirs to keep, they just did it. Subconsciously. Telling people that I’m an old family friend of some kind, which isn’t all falsely said. But still and I appreciate it. They’re kinda like my nephew and nieces…”

“But if you had to have one, would you? Because I think you would be a great husband and father. I mean, you’re already an uncle.”

“Yeah I would. A daughter. After helping babysit Sharon Carter and Hope Van Dyne, it’s different than a taking care of a boy. You girls look at your daddies, grandpas, godfathers, and uncles way differently than boys do. It’s cute.”

“But I do have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why all of this? What brought this last thought of yours?”

“Natasha.” He said softly, “You knew she and the other Avengers have kids, but they let fear and bruised feelings stop them from being great parents. It’s unbelievably understandable where they’re all coming from but still…i don’t know..”

“Jason, you know the reasons why. It’s hard for them…” She replied with a half smile.

“I know, Pepper. I know it is. Even if they had theses kids under odd circumstances, they deserve to get a chance to meet each other. There will be hurt feelings and mistakes made, but that’s part of it. No one knows how to be a parent! It’s something you learn along the way…”

“But it’s not easy as you say it is. You’re not in they’re shoes, even if you were, you would know it’s not gonna be easy.”

“Even if I had to give up my child for their best chance and to help me figure something else to make things better..I know, I’m contradicting myself when I say this but I had my own child out there and I knew where they are. I would make sure I would be their guardian angel and give them so advice, even if i don’t get to the part where I say ‘Hey I’m your dad!��. Make sure they’re okay…it’s hard concept, I know…”

“But you’re not all wrong. Things just take time..and you need to give things time for yourself.”

“Sadly, I have all the time in the world. But I’ll be okay..I’m always okay. Go to bed, Pepper.”

“But..”

“Go to bed. You got a long week coming up.”

“I know..but will you be actually okay?”

“Good night, doll.”

“Good night, Jason.”

——

Thanks for reading! What did y’all think? Let’s discuss

Please like, comment, share & reblog for more!

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[in-my-feels-probably]

Empyrean - Chapter Three

Chapter 3

As morning came, the smoke from the fire was still billowing black smoke into the already existing haze above the rooftops. In the aftermath of the explosion, the Barrel was buzzing. There was no doubt Pekka Rollins had caught on to who was behind the bomb, and Elham felt like she was walking on eggshells, having to look around every corner for danger. The Crows–minus Kaz, Elham wasn’t quite sure where he had skulked off to–ducked into a cafe near the edge of town.

There was one thing that was certain in Ketterdam. The cafe’s would always be open, and their bars would always be stocked.

There’s nothing like a bit of Kaelish cinnamon whiskey in your coffee in the mornings, and a nice stack of waffles. At least, that's what Jesper always told her. She wasn’t much of a day drinker herself. But the occasion called for it, and who was she to deny Jesper his little joys?

She ordered a coffee for herself, and Jesper pulled a flask out of his new coat pocket. They took turns sipping from the mug, and Elham tried not to grimace as the whiskey burned going down her throat.

“The coffee is shit here,” she grumbled, eying the stack of waffles Nina had ordered for herself.

“Don’t even think about it, Creed,” Nina said, although she hadn’t taken her eyes off her breakfast yet. “I’m starving. Drink your breakfast, darling.”

Jesper took another swig, handing the mug back to her. “Drink it. You need something in your stomach, and you’re stressing me out. Stop looking so anxious. I’m sure he’s fine.” Elham scoffed, raising a hand to hit Jesper’s arm. He caught it, giving her a playful grin. She glared back at him, ripping her arm from his grip.

“That’s not what I’m worried about, thank you very much. It’s the opposite, if anything. If any of us are going to survive this, my money is on him. What I am worried about is stepping out the door and getting swamped by Dime Lions. Not exactly what I would call a good start to my morning.”

“Neither is day drinking,” Inej mused, though she offered Elham a smile that was the first comforting thing she’d seen all day. “It’s worse out there today.”

Jesper rolled his eyes, taking the mug back from Elham. “Worse how? We had to sleep on that novice’s floor. This body deserves a proper bed.”

“Word is we also killed a constable,” Inej said quietly, bracing herself for everyone’s reaction.

Elham groaned, slumping against Jesper’s side. He let her, which she was internally grateful for. He clearly was feeling the same way, slinging an arm around her shoulder.

“I have so many questions. How? Why? Who? Where? When? I guess…yeah. I guess that’s all of them.”

“Last night, after you escaped from the wagon–”

“I’ve got to tell you about that later, by the way,” Elham interrupted, sitting up straighter. “A man lost two fingers by the time we got out.”

Inej ignored her comment, although she made it a point to slide the mug closer to Jesper and further away from Elham. “Constable Sem was his name. Shot with his own weapon. Stadwatch are shaking down every informant they know.”

“So, they’re pinning this on Jesper?” Elham asked, slowly putting together the pieces.

“That’s ridiculous. I would never shoot someone with their own gun. Besides, it’s not even a good frame-up.”

Inej nodded, pouring everyone a glass of water. Elham took her glass gratefully, giving Jesper a sympathetic look as he leaned back against the booth bench. She took a long sip before setting it down, resting her hand on his arm as she absentmindedly rubbed her thumb along the suede of his coat.

It really did look good on him.

“Have you seen him today?” Jesper asked, and Elham straightened up as she realized he was talking about Kaz.

Inej shook her head. “No. He’s avoiding questions, I suspect.”

“Yeah, from all of us.”

Everyone’s eyes slowly fell on Elham, who just shrugged. “I would tell you if I knew anything. I’m serious, I really would. I haven’t seen him since this morning when he left early. If I had to guess, he’s finding a way to get us a little more muscle. Even if we get Wylan in on this, the six of us aren’t going to be enough to take on Pekka. And I guarantee that’s what it’ll come to.”

Satisfied with her answer, everyone seemed to shrug it off. Elham felt her chest tighten when Jesper let out a sad sigh, leaning his frame against hers.

“Blowing up the Crow Club…”

“Makes you wonder what else he’s willing to destroy,” Inej added, and Elham decided she wasn’t going to allow her brain to venture down that train of thought.

The outcome didn’t look promising. Explaining Kaz’s personal vendetta against Pekka wasn’t exactly something Elham felt comfortable doing, especially since she didn’t know how much the group actually knew about Kaz’s past with Pekka. He had given her bits and pieces of the story to stitch together over the course of a few years, but even she didn’t know the full extent. He hadn’t brought himself to tell her just yet, and she wasn’t sure he’d ever muster up the courage to do it. Still, she wouldn’t pry.

His past was his own.

And he never pried in on hers, so she’d do the same with his. But she couldn’t deny the guilt she felt when she looked at Jesper and Inej’s solemn faces, knowing they knew she had a part in planting that bomb. She hadn’t even questioned Kaz when he did it. She went along with it like it was any other job. Sometimes, it scared her just how much she was willing to do for him, even at her own expense. She cleared her throat, drawing the attention to her.

“We can rebuild it. All of it. Make it something new. I know it was our home,” she started, her voice wary. “But it never would be again while Pekka has it. We’d never be safe living on Dime Lion turf. It’s just four walls and a roof, you know? Everything in it is replaceable. But this…us…we’re not replaceable. I’d watch the club burst into flames a thousand times over if it meant keeping everyone at this table safe, and away from Pekka. I’d even light the match myself.”

There was a blaze in her eyes as she spoke, and the Crows didn’t know what to make of it. Just as Elham opened her mouth to backtrack–or at least try to–she heard a familiar click of a cane on plank wood floors coming towards the booth. Wylan followed close behind.

Jesper scooted so he was pressed up against the window, and Elham followed his lead. Inej did the same on her side, followed by Nina. Kaz took a seat next to Elham, and Wylan sat across from him.

“You made sure you weren’t followed?” Kaz asked as everyone settled back into the booth.

Elham nearly scoffed at the question, and it seemed the rest of the Crows were feeling the same. “Of course we did.”

“Jes has a question to ask you,” Inej started, and Elham made herself small against the back of the bench so she wouldn’t be caught under the burning gaze she knew Kaz had set on Jesper.

Kaz had a way of looking at you that could bring you to your knees under the sheer weight of his stare. She hadn’t yet decided if that was a good thing or not. In this case, it definitely was not.

“Good luck,” she mumbled, patting Jesper’s thigh.

He glared down at her, before looking up at Kaz. “Look, a lot has happened since last night. We found out we lost our home, and then you blew it up just to piss off Pekka Rollins.”

Jesper grew angrier as he spoke, some of his resentment landing on Wylan. Elham gave Wylan a small smile of reassurance from across the table, landing a swift kick into Jesper’s calf as a way of saying, lay off, and calm down. It’s not all on him.

“And?” Kaz asked, almost bored by Jesper’s recount of the previous night.

“Have you heard we also shot a Stadwatch with his own gun?”

Kaz paused for a second, but his voice didn’t falter. “All Stadwatch carry the same gun and it’s standard issue. This is Pekka Rollins firing back at us.”

“Who is this Pekka Rollins?” Nina asked, pushing her breakfast away from her. “Every time you say his name, your blood pressure skyrockets…yours too, Elham.”

Elham went rigid, risking a glance towards Kaz, before deciding that she should let him take the lead. After all, it was his plan that got him into this mess. His vendetta. Now, it was his mess to clean up, or–at the very least–explain.

“That’s not part of your purview, Heartrender,” Kaz said calmly, his tone toxic.

“You’re right. But I tend to have opinions, and…oh! Here's one. Anger clouds judgment.”

Inej piped in, trying to dissolve some of the tension amongst the table. “Pekka Rollins runs the Barrel.”

“He cheated his way into an empire by running cheap cons,” Kaz added. “He isn’t a boss, he’s a scourge.”

Elham nodded in agreement. “He’s a right fucking prick, if you haven’t gathered that yet. I don’t think anyone here has a nice thing to say about him. I certainly don’t.”

Nina nodded, settling back against the bench. “If you hate him so much, why not just hire me to kill him? Why hire me at all? Your Sharpshooter, your Valkyrie, or your Wraith could take him out, easy. Seems like you have a lot of options, so why me?”

“It’s not enough to kill him.”

A hush fell over the table, and uneasy glances were exchanged from everyone as they took in Kaz’s words. Elham was sure her face reflected anxiety, but inside, she felt something more. Rage. Kaz was right. It wasn’t enough to kill him. He needed to suffer.

Kaz seemed to sense everyone catching on to his moment of vulnerability, his mask of passiveness slipping back onto his face. “Killing him doesn’t help us clear our names. That’s why I need all of you, so I can hang everything back on him.”

“And we are the pawns who enact your personal vendetta?” Inej asked, glancing around the table.

I don’t mind being a pawn if it means getting to watch the King fall, Elham thought to herself, but she stayed silent.

“The four of us are under equal jeopardy,” Kaz said, looking between Jesper, Elham, and Inej, before looking between Nina and Wylan. “And if they catch us, we can’t protect you. You’ll have to turn to Pekka to see your man. No doubt with some very unappealing conditions attached.”

Kaz’s words reminded Elham that she had yet to ask Nina about the man she was so set on freeing. He must be quite the person for her to go through all this trouble. She made a mental note to remember to ask her about him later.

Jesper cleared his throat. “All that in mind, I mean…Inej, Elham, and I need to know the plan.”

“Um, yes…I, too, would like to know the plan,” Wylan added quietly, his first time speaking since he had sat down. He was a quiet person, Elham had noticed. She was really hoping she’d be able to get to know him better in the next few days.

Expectant eyes fell on Kaz, and the table was silent again. Kaz narrowed his eyes, before turning around to sweep the room and make sure no one was listening in on their conversation. He turned back to the Crows, leaning in.

“To get leverage on him, I need to know the scope of his business, inside out. There are two ways to learn this. The first is by following his private driver, tracking his schedule. Second…his accountant. Henrik Van Poel. If I get access to Pekka’s books, it’ll tell me everything I need to know. So, we need to get into that building.”

Kaz gestured across the street, and the Crows peered out the window to see what he was talking about. A building with three archways came into view.

“It’s where his accountant works. Although, there’s no way of knowing which office. That’s the mission. It looks like a typical office building, but it has a number of subtle features.”

“So, nothing for me to shoot?” Jesper asked.

Inej huffed, smiling to herself. “You can always shoot a lock if it makes you feel better.”

“You’re sassing me, but I recall that got you out of a jam once.”

Elham nearly snorted, covering her mouth as she tried to recover her laugh as a cough. “Sorry, sorry. My bad. Continue.”

Kaz rolled his eyes, exasperatedly staring up at the ceiling, before continuing. “This place values anonymity. The doors aren’t numbered. There are no names or placards. These aren't for businesses’ clients to visit, this is for people who value discretion. So…Jesper, Wylan, you follow the driver. Inej, I want you to take watch on the roof.”

Nina stood, leaving the booth with her plate in hand. Kaz continued giving directions until she came back, a fresh pitcher of water in her hand. She poured herself a glass as he directed his instructions at her.

“Nina, I need you with me while I copy Hendrik's books. Gunfire would only draw attention, but a Heartrender–”

“Has many skills,” Nina interrupted. “Like this. Second floor, second to last door on the left.”

Kaz looked taken back, almost surprised. “What?”

“Henriks’s office.”

Elham raised a hand, halting the conversation. “One, where am I going? And two, how do you know this?”

“I asked the waitress,” Nina said, like it was the most obvious solution. “People who work in places like that, they eat in places like this. Sometimes, they get the meals delivered. So I said, ‘Excuse me, but I have a delivery and I can’t read the directions.’ Ta-da.”

Elham smiled, clearly impressed. “Well, that’s one question answered, thank you Nina. On to the next. What am I going to be doing during all of this?”

Kaz turned to look at Elham, thinking for a moment before he spoke. “You’ll follow Inej’s lead and stand watch while she scopes out the best point of entry. I can’t have Jesper or Wylan making noise with guns or explosions, which is why they’ll follow the driver. But a sword is quiet enough, I expect. You’ll be there to help Inej, should she need it, and keep away any distractions by whatever means necessary. Nina will still go with me, seeing as her skills are proving themselves useful for the task at hand.”

“I like having her around,” Jesper grinned, making Nina smile.

“Mhm,” she started, turning her attention back to Kaz. “And I like truth. You said you’d get me in to see Matthias.”

Another silence fell over the group as everyone turned expectedly towards Kaz. Jesper leaned in to whisper to Elham as Kaz kept his eyes on Nina, clearly in thought.

“Scheming face,” he said, making Elham nod. “Should I be worried?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

–

Hours later, Elham followed Inej onto the rooftop where Kaz was waiting for them. He heard them coming, turning around just as Elham made it up the steps.

“What did you find?” He asked, turning back around to face the city rooftops.

Inej took the lead. “There’s a doorman even after hours, and a pair of roving guards in the halls. But I can get you in through a window if Nina watches the front.”

“I felt very unnecessary today, by the way,” Elham added, linking her arm with Inej’s. “Inej here is perfectly capable of handling herself. I spent the better part of my afternoon avoiding guards around every corner, trying not to make my boots click on the floor. I think my talents would’ve been better suited for babysitting Jesper, but that was up to you, boss.”

Kaz raised a brow as he looked at her, narrowing his eyes. “Did you drink today?”

“Oh, I haven’t stopped since this morning, babe.”

“You can thank Jesper for that,” Inej said, nudging into Elham’s side. “Don’t worry, she’s fine. I forced water down both of them, and Elham nicked Jesper’s flask so he’ll be dry for the rest of the day.”

Elham nodded, pulling her coat back to show the shiny flask in the inside pocket. “You’ll be happy to know I didn’t drink any. I still have my wits about me, I promise.”

Kaz looked at Elham for a long time as she began trying to shrink away from his gaze. He looked pissed, and his silence wasn’t exactly a good omen. Just as Elham opened her mouth to speak—and try and salvage the situation—he raised a hand, stopping her.

“Just don’t make it a habit…alright?” He said, content to drop it, turning back around to face the rooftops once more. “If this goes sideways, tell the others to regroup at Black Veil. Get the Heartrender. We leave in ten.”

“No,” Inej said, making Elham whirl around to face her. Kaz turned around as well.

“Not until you tell me what happened between you and Pekka.”

“Inej–” Elham started, but Kaz was quick to interrupt her.

“All you need to know is that I have a reason.”

Inej scoffed, shaking her head. “There’s enough secrecy in this crew as is.”

“Secrecy is the only way to survive the Barrel, Inej.”

“So keeping me in the dark is about survival?” She asked, turning to Elham. “You know, don’t you? You’d be asking questions otherwise, too.”

Elham sighed, laying a hand on Inej’s arm. “I know bits and pieces, and it’s not for me to tell. I don’t ask questions, and the Saints know I’m in no position to be lecturing other people about keeping secrets. I’d tell you if I could, Inej. Believe me, I would. I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

Inej gave her a nod of understanding, but it was hard to miss the look of obvious hurt on her face at Elham’s answer. Elham felt her heart sink as Inej stepped away from her, guilt settling in her stomach. Inej took another step towards Kaz, making him turn around.

“My survival, or yours? What about Elham’s?”

It was silent for a moment. Elham kept her eyes on the floor, and she had a feeling Kaz kept his there as well. Inej let out a defeated sigh.

“Trust is the other side of secrecy, Kaz. Remember that.”

Inej was gone before Elham could stop her. She let out a frustrated sigh, coming to stand next to Kaz on the ledge overlooking the city. He didn’t say anything, but she could feel his eyes on her as she stared ahead. Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him, leaning her side against the ledge.

“You trust Inej, don’t you? I do. What’s the harm in telling her and Jesper something? Anything. Just a little bit to get them to understand that this is more important than they know. I’d be upset, too, if I was in their position.”

“But you’re not, are you?” He snapped, making her narrow her eyes.

“Don’t talk to me like that. It would do you good to remember that I am the only one who has stuck by your side for this long, despite the utter ass you can be sometimes. I wasn’t asking you to tell them your whole life story. I was just curious why you refuse to tell them anything at all. You told me, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t exactly pour my heart out to you, did I?” He spat, growing angry. “It’s taken years for you to piece it together, and even you don’t know the full story. I don’t ask about your past, Elham. Ever. So, don’t ask me about mine.”

He turned back to face forward without another word. Elham scoffed, an empty grin on her face. She knew he heard it by the way his shoulders tensed. She turned to head back down the stairs, stopping once she reached the top step. She looked over her shoulder to see him still facing forward.

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I want you to ask? That maybe I’d tell you, and all you had to do was ask. Inej is right, Kaz. Trust is the other side of secrecy. I figured, after everything…maybe you trusted me more than this. I guess I was wrong.”

Kaz finally turned around at her words, but he was too late.

“I’m going to find Jesper,” she said over her shoulder, already heading down the stairs. “Perhaps he’s in more of a talking mood.”

–

A/N - Hi! So sorry for the long wait on this chapter. It was originally one, but it was getting really long, so I decided to split it here. The second part should be out soon. Anyway, I hope you’re enjoying the story so far, sorry it’s taking me a while to get chapters out. I’ve been really busy, but I had a little while to write so I figured I’d at least get this chapter finished while I can. I’ll get back to this fic soon! Here’s chapter three for now, let me know what you think!

[charkie-ee]

HDBSJDHSJHSSHSHJSHSHAJAHSJAHDGJSHSHDJDJSKCHSimnotrespondingsuperlateyouareNDKDJSJKSKFHDJDJDHDJDKDJFJJFJFJFJFJDHAKSIJGJDKFJDKD

yup! turns out everything is ok! sleeping was weird after the first few days but im all good now.

is so funny that you can hold 3 different conversations thru tumblr. like thats awesome. we’ve been talking about several things from drawings to lore to…whatever this post turned into, and i am so here for it. tumblr: the place for multitasking.

and yes i am quite literally ‘lmao’ at all of them.

HELPPPP FHDJDHJDD ah yes instead of going to my room to read your posts i am actually just going in there to do lots of drugs. tons of them. like um. yea. because thats what people do. ahaha. i would know, i am a person. totally. 100% all human being here. i say as my skin suit is falling off

yo followers‼️ you best get ready for this insane lore we’re totally gonna drop soon‼️‼️ you’re asses better be fully equipped with arg gear‼️its gonna include my whole lobotomy + other stuff i got in 3rd grade‼️ its coming very soon‼️ definitely‼️ this is certainly not a LIE‼️

awhhh!! thats so sweet!! sometimes when i’m at the store shopping/out and about in the world— ill see a specific color of red that looks exactly like the background color of your pfp. i’ve named it ‘semifontos red.’ creative name, i know.

also 🫵 fellow tea drinker. whats your favorite kind. 🫵🫵🫵

(i’m a heavy chai drinker, and and a black tea, earl gray bitch. BUT! occasionally i add some green teas into the mix)

aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! i need you to stop being the #1 nicest tumblr person i’ve ever met on this website, or i might explode again from happiness. ditto my friend, ditto indeed. you’ve filled the last few months of my life with indescribable joy, and every time i open the app, i cant help but smile because i know ill see your posts on my dash. your just as silly as i am, and i even start giggling before i read your posts because i know they’re gonna be good. thanks for being my parasocial pal <33

holy shit u right— tbh i kinda forgot abt that. sigh. he should get another thoracotomy? gastrectomy? both of those??? again. that’d be peak comedy, and you know what they say, third time’s the charm

yes, i agree, we may have become mutuals via slimecicle getting another chest & stomach surgery, but i dont think we’d be talking back and forth and exchanging drawings of our little silly sonas if it weren’t for bisexual purga(y)tory post. so for that, it will always have a special place in my heart.

yup, i repeat, if you have STUPID EYES that CANT SEE without GLASSES/CONTACTS you could instead buy ONE NINTENDO SWITCH or TWO EXPENSIVE GAMES FOR NINTENDO SWITCH EVERY YEAR if you give up on your eyes. INVEST NOW!! BUY TODAY!! just DONT TELL ANYONE THAT *I* SAID THAT!!!

speaking of glasses!!! i finally got a new prescription!!! yippee!! (round of applause.mp3 starts playing)

i might also be trying contacts? its a bit tricky because apparently my eye is more oval shaped than the traditional round shaped, (i think its called asigmatism) but its still possible! so ill see how it goes!!

ahhh, my bad my bad. sooo, if thats the case?

~~~~~~ - ~~~ = ~~~ ?

(explosions in the background)

oh. maybe not.

(also just to put it here i have seen your drawing request in my ask box and i am working on it dw!)

@semifontos

GRAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! (i crawl out of my grave but this time kill bill style)

IM STILL ALIVE!!! I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMI—

but it is done!!!! i did it!!!!! after years in training, various classes in alchemy, and many many engine failures!!!!!!! it is FINISHED!!!!!!!!!

behold, the SEMIFONTOS DESIGN:

im so so sorry that this took so long and might not be as high quality as my other art— but i hope you enjoy it!!

gonna be honest, a screw was loose on my glasses and my right lens fell out just as i started working on this again. so. if any lines look wonky you can file all complaints to my prescription glasses.

but, yea!! there it is!! i plan to start being more active! i swear! i just have a lot goin on rn!! may reblog/post some other things later. we’ll see how it goes. luv u pal & thanks 4 bein patient!!

[uravitypng]

𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄

kinktober day five: corruption

pairing: megumi fushiguro x reader

word count: 850

a/n: okay i know this is shorter than my other kinktober posts, and it's also like 8 days late but its better than nothing. i like this quite a lot tbh, it's under 1k words shorter than i normally write and it's not explicit but it's still good ‧₊˚✩‧₊˚♡‧₊˚

warnings: corruption kink (obvs), trusting reader, friend!megumi, suggestive, reader is shy, drinking(only a bit though), praise, one mention of megumi being taller than reader but older megumi is real tall so he'll always be taller +18 mdni

Megumi overhears you talking to Maki that you haven't had your first kiss yet and he thinks his brain short circuits. He knows you keep to yourself most of the time, you're not exactly an outgoing person, that's what drew him to you, neither of you engage with your other friends antics. He hates to admit is but he's so intrigued, it's not like you remove yourself from conversations about sex with Nobara and Yuji you always stay with them and listen, even when he's had enough and leaves.

He's never really thought of you more than a friend, he knows you're pretty and he understands while Nobara makes the odd flirty comment at you but he's never thought of you more than that. At least until now. There is something so desirable about how innocent you are. He's not the most experienced person in the world himself, but hearing you talk made him want to take that innocence away, he could teach you.

Megumi tries to not to think about it, he shouldn't think of you like that, it's wrong. But he likes the idea of it wrong. He wants to kiss you, to touch you, to ruin you. He wants to take away your innocence. He aches for you and he's decided that he's going to act on his desire.

Some people have met up to go out for the night, it's so rare to get everyone's schedules free nowadays. After a few drinks it was a general good night, with Megumi's buzz he was less irritated when Yuji insisted to sing karaoke at the top of his voice. Megumi isn't the biggest drinker in the world and neither are you, typically because you get drunk quickly and can't handle alcohol. Both of you are a little tipsy while walking back home and Megumi takes his chance to see how shy you'll act when he pushes the boundary of your friendship, even in the slightest.

Megumi brushes his hand against yours nearly holding your hand, then carries on like nothing has happened. Most people would brush it off and ignore it, it could of been seen as an accident, but in the corner of his eye he knew that it affected you more than it would someone else. You looked so cute, with a flush creeping across your cheeks, all wide eyed, bashful, and not looking at him. So so so cute. He has to see you underneath him, he has to see what you'd look like.

Lucky for him he lives near you so you can walk back together, while everyone else walks away, it must be a sign.

The walk back is too short in his opinion, it's mostly in silence and sometimes a little comment here or there but he's reached your door before he knows it. He sees you saying goodbye but he can't hear it over his thoughts, to busy thinking. Megumi decides he needs to do something while he has the chance, he steps closer to you.

Megumi can't contain his smile when you cock your head to side looking confused. He reaches you and fixes your collar, his hands momentarily lingering on the neck. A shiver runs down your spine as you freeze and can't speak. "Your collar was up" Megumi says, making direct eye contact with you, making you even more fluttery. "Can i come in baby?" the new nickname filled your stomach full of butterflies and you become speechless. Nodding shyly, you guide him inside.

He keeps his composure as you lead him in, all he wants to do is grab you and take you but he knows he has to take it slow. You look out of place and don't really know what to do, he decides to take pity on you and lend you a helping hand. "Should we have a cup of tea?" You look up at him and he realises how small you are in comparison to him, making him get hard, hoping that you don't notice. He's taller than nearly everyone he knows, he towers over you and it does something to him.

After you've both had something to drink you've relaxed and felt less overwhelmed, you're thankful that Megumi is so kind to you and always puts you at ease.

You show Megumi to your room but stood at the entrance, figuring out how to go about this. You know you want this. You're scared you will let him down, you're a virgin and has never done anything like this before, what if you do it wrong? Luckily Megumi takes charge and moves you onto the bed, slowly unbuttoning your shirt and greedily taking you in. He tells you how cute you are and how you're doing so good for him, you become giddy at the comments and lay down on the bed, you know Megumi will look after you.

Megumi is going to have a good night.

[littlelioncub43]

Hey I really love your Justin Capshaw, and i was wondering if you still open request, can we have jealous Justin? Well it can be from various reasons, maybe Mommy's Co-worker or other things. Anyway have a nice day!

Thank you! I love writing for Justin so much, that lil squishy baby bean! Hehe

Ooo good idea, let's get a glimpse at how our Sweet Boy would handle jealousy.

Kisses 💋

—K 

Summary: Justin gets jealous and worried when you come home late

Pairing: College!Justin Capshaw x fem!Mommy!reader

Warning: insecure thoughts, crying Justin, fluff, barely any angst, smut, unprotected sex (you really should wear condoms, in all seriousness), Mommy kink, reassurance kink? Maybe?, idiots being in love and saying it a billion times

Word count: 3.6k

A/N: I may have gotten carried away with this hehe, also I may have not written exactly what was requested, I’m so sorry, I’m JUST now realizing this after writing it. Let me know if you want to be added to my Taglist! I’d love to keep you up to date with my work!

The ticking of the clock only made the empty house worse. There were no sounds of you looking for a snack in the kitchen or making witty comments at the TV; Justin missed you already. He knew where you were, but, more importantly, he knew who you were with. You were out with Fred Weissler, a prospective client of your accounting firm. You'd been meeting with Fred more and more frequently in the past couple weeks. And he wasn't pleased in the slightest.

'It's only a business meeting. It just happens to be at a restaurant,' you told him as you were getting ready. You were wearing your work clothes, so that made him feel a little better, but the gnawing sour pit in his stomach still remained as you kissed him sweetly and told him you'd be back at 8.

It was 8:30.

His favorite tv show plays as he sits on the couch, he can see their mouths open but he can't seem to focus on what they're saying. Checking his phone to see if you'd answered any of his texts, he chews his lip even harder when he sees that you haven't even seen them yet. His leg bouncing as his mind races, his brain creating cruel and tormenting scenarios of what you could be doing or what could have happened to you. He feels his eyes sting with tears, tears of worry, tears of fear, tears of jealousy.

He hated Fred Weissler the moment you said he asked you to be in charge of his account. He knew Fred liked you and he hasn't even met the guy. Why wouldn't Fred like you? Who wouldn't? You're beautiful, patient, kind, funny, strong yet soft— God, you're perfect. Fred would have to be blind to not be able to see that.

Justin rubbing his now wet cheeks, the tears overflowing and leaving tracks down his peachy skin. A nagging, harsh voice in his head telling him over and over 'Mommy left you for Fred, she's looking for someone better, she's sick of taking care of a big baby like you' Justin shakes his head to stop the intrusive thoughts and lets out a soft sob, trying to will himself to stop because 'he wasn't a big baby.'

The sound of the front door unlocking pulls Justin out from the gloomy cloud surrounding him. Jumping from the couch, he practically races to greet you at the door, he missed you so fucking much, it was making him sick. You struggle with your keys in the lock for a few moments, groaning when the lock refused to give you your keys back. You were drunk.

"Damn lock... let goooo," you mutter the the door before successfully freeing them with a triumphant smile and chuckle, shutting and locking the door behind you.

"Mommy?" Justin asks tentatively, he's only been around you when you were drunk once before, you weren't much of a drinker, so he didn't know exactly how to deal with you when you were. You turn and smile brightly at him when you hear him speak.

"Hi, Sweet Boy," your words bleeding together ever so slightly, "did you miss me?"

He nods immediately, you chuckle throatily, making your way over to him. You weren't completely smashed, you were a little tipsy at best. Your hands snake around his middle, hugging him into you with a sigh. "I missed you too, wished I could have stayed here with you."

Your words had Justin's heart soaring, his own arms around you. Then he smelt something on your clothes. It didn't smell like your floral perfume, no, this was oaky-er, richer, masculine. The realization had Justin's heart plummeting through the floor. New tears sprung up in his eyes as well as a fresh wave of anger.

He retched himself from your grasp, the sudden change in atmosphere not going unnoticed by you. Without a word, Justin quickly stomped off to his room, slamming the door with a resounding 'bang.' You were left in the entry way, confused and sobering up quicker and quicker with each passing second. Kicking off your heels, you approached the locked door to Justin's room carefully. You give the door a knock.

"Justin? Baby, what's the matter?" You ask him through the door.

When he doesn't respond you let out a soft sigh. "You don't have to open the door, but please, tell me what's the matter, Sweetheart."

You listen carefully with your ear pressed to the door; soft sniffles and sobs fill your ears and break your heart. “Please?”

You hear soft thudding of his feet on the floor, approaching the door. The lock turns and the door swings open quickly, and you're met with a teary eyed, wet-cheeked Justin, anger still boiling in his chest and it shows on his face.

"You smell like him," he practically spits, more tears rolling down his face, his eyes not meeting yours. You stare at him in confusion for a moment. "Fred." He clarifies with a sniffle.

"What?" You mutter and bring your blouse to your nose, giving it a quick sniff. You can smell it too; Fred's overbearing cologne. Coming home late smelling like another man is a good reason to be upset.

"I don't want him to have you, you're supposed to be my Mommy," he says with a bite, jealousy making his tone somber with an edge, the anger shining in the pools of tears.

"Oh. Oh, baby, no," you shake your head gently, moving to cup his face gently, "nothing like that happened. Mommy had a little too much to drink and we shared a cab," you spoke sincerely, “that’s all that happened, baby, I promise,” Justin’s sad eyes finally looking at you.

"Nothing?" He asked softly, his hands coming to rest on your wrists.

"Not a thing. I'd never do that to you, baby, never," you say seriously, petting his cheek with your thumb. You can see the doubts and fears slowly dissipate in his watery blue eyes, some still trying to hang on. Wiping his cheeks tenderly, you press kisses to the tracks of his tears, "You're all I want, you’re the man I need, Justin, no one else," you whisper before bringing your lips to his in a soft kiss.

Justin can't help but whimper when you say that, his lips eagerly moving against yours in response. The nagging voice in the back of his mind calling him a baby shuts up as soon as you call him a man. His arms wrap tightly around your waist, pulling you deeper into his room. He feels your arms sling around his neck as the kiss deepens, your tongue pushing at the seam of his lips, asking for entrance which he happily grants. He moans softly at the taste of you; faint hints of wine and an undeniable subtle sweetness, your own moan mirroring his. Breaking the kiss, Justin gasps for breath but still chases your lips, whispering a lustful “Mommy…”

“Let Mommy show you how much she loves you, how much she needs her Sweet Boy, hm?” You murmur to him, waiting for him to nod in consent before guiding him backwards towards his bed.

“Please, Mommy,” he nods and sighs, bringing your lips to his once more, all the negative feelings that had been causing a riot in his chest were now replaced with a burning need to feel your love. He needed to feel how much you love him, how much you want him, and he needed to feel it now. You lead him backwards towards his bed slowly, your kisses slow yet passionate. You had every intention of showing Justin just how much he means to you, and you were going to make sure he feels it.

When his knees hit the edge of his bed, you gently push him to lay on his back, your lips staying connected, his hands clutching you as if you could disappear any second. You settle in his lap, straddling his waist, your pencil skirt riding up your thighs as you drape yourself over him. You pull back once more, your lips trailing down his jaw and back to his lips.

“Oh, Justin, where do I begin?” You whisper huskily against his skin, “I love how smart you are, love how you make me feel, baby,” you nip at his bottom lip, earning a shuddered breath from his heaving chest, “you make me feel so beautiful, so loved, so needed, I love taking care of you and making you feel the same way,” you speak in between kisses, his hands gripping tightly at your sides and lower back as he pulls you into him, never being able to get close enough. His lips greedily chase yours, seeking more and more kisses which you happily give him.

“I need you so much, Mommy,” he whispers to you, his words meaning so much more than the carnal need straining in his pants at your confessions, his hands sneaking under the hem of your pencil skirt to caress the soft flesh of your thighs.

“I need you too, baby,” you say as you sit up in his lap, unbuttoning the front of your blouse, smiling when Justin’s eyes darken ever so slightly as he watches you. Once the last button is free, Justin is quick to push the material off your shoulders, groaning at the sight of your bare chest. Your hands pulling at his own t shirt as his tongue plays with yours, he whines when you draw back to pull his shirt over his head, but he’s quick to reattach your lips. Your hands slide through his hair, smiling at the shiver it sends up his spine, “I love how sensitive you are,” you breathe into his agape mouth, his glasses fogged, it makes you giggle before you pull them off and set them on his nightstand.

“There they are, those beautiful eyes,” you coo, cradling his head once more as you gaze into his eyes, “my god, you’re so handsome, baby, so so handsome,” he whines at the praise, a deep blush setting across his face and neck. You pepper his face with sweet pecks, “you could have any woman you want and yet you chose me… thank you, thank you for letting me be your Mommy,” you mutter as he lets out a broken moan, not being able to stand his mouth not being on you, he surges forward, flipping you over to lay on your back, his tongue ravenously devouring your mouth. You can’t help but moan at his actions, loving how his tongue worked against yours in expert movements, your body now trembling in need, slick drenching your panties. With your back pressed into his mattress, you roll your hips up into his, both of you moaning in unison at the delicious friction it offers. He lifts up to hover over you, desperation written on his sweet face.

“Mommy, need you, need you bad,” he states, one hand quickly trying to undo his belt, his hand fumbles, his desire getting the best of him making him groan in frustration. Your hands replace his, your plans of taking it slow put on the back burner as you palm his hardened length, watching the way his head tips backwards and his eyes flutter shut with a high stuttered moan. You undo his belt, pushing his zipper down without any trouble, your hand sliding into his boxers, your hand gently caressing his naked shaft, making Justin moan and rut into your hand. You bring one of his large hands to your core, letting him feel how soaked you are, he moans at the feeling of your slick, his fingers petting your folds eagerly.

“Feel how wet I am, Sweet Boy?” You say with a squeeze to his pulsing cock, drawing out another sweet moan from the man above you, he nods and whispers a breathy ‘yeah.’

“You know who makes me this wet?” You prompt, your hand leaving his wrist to hold the base of his skull, forcing him to rest his forehead on yours. Another soft nod from Justin makes you bite back a smile. “Say it, baby, who makes Mommy this wet?”

“I… I do,” He mutters, his eyes fluttering open to find you staring up at him intensely, “I make you wet, Mommy…”

It’s your turn to nod, biting your lip as his thick fingers dip into your quivering hole, “that’s right, no one else can make me feel the way you do,” his fingers begin to pump in and out of you at a quicker pace, your words feeding his ego in all the right ways, “no one else can touch me like you do,” you moaned out, getting lost in the pleasure his fingers provide.

“Oh Mommy, yes” he moans with you, his eyes fixed on your face, hips speeding up his thrusts into your hand. You pull your hand out from the front of his pants, pushing them down his thighs as he helped wiggle your panties down and off on one ankle. You knew you both weren’t going to last long, you could take him apart slowly all night but right now you both needed to finish. His lips find yours in a needy kiss, your tongue overpowering his easily. When your hand guides his weeping tip through your wet cunt, Justin can’t help but thrust against you, sending a violent shiver through you both, breaking the kiss. You bite his bottom lip just to tease him, and your plan works when he lets out a pleading whine, you silence him with a soft shush and bring him to your entrance. He gasps when he feels your tight opening, even in his desperation his eyes seek yours for permission—always the good boy. When you nod and lift your hips to urge him to continue, he sighs and immediately pushes into you in a swift, heavy thrust.

You moan loudly, the nice girth of his base filling you out perfectly, your pussy pulsating around him in time with your heartbeat. “O-Ohhhhhhhhh!” He bellows as he bottoms out, Justin trembles on top of you, his legs shaking slightly in effort to keep from coming too quickly, your hands slide through his hair just how he likes it, cradling him to your body as your legs wrap around his waist. “And no one else can fuck me like you do,” you whisper in his ear, rolling your hips slowly, eyes shutting as you listen to him moan for you, his elbows framing your head as he breathes deeply, lifting to get your permission to move, “Mommy, ca-can I?”

“Yeah, baby, please,” you mumble and kiss him sweetly, he sighs and draws his hips back only to sink back into your warm snatch. “Move with me, Sweet Boy, come on,” you whisper in his mouth, one hand on his hips to move it in time with yours. The pace is fast and passionate, your filthy grinds rubbing each other just the right way, unending streams of moans leaving his plump lips which you happily swallow.

“You feel so fucking good, Justin, so fucking good,” you moan in his ear, his own cries filling your ear as you move together in tandem, “you’re the only one who gets to have me like this, m’all yours, no one else’s…”

“A-all mine…” he echoes with a throaty whine and grips your shoulders, holding you as close to him as he can, his face buried in the crook of your neck, his hot breath setting the skin of your throat on fire, “you’re mine, Mommy…”

“That’s right, baby, m’yours,” your run your finger through his hair and hug him tight, “and you’re my Sweet Boy, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m your Sweet Boy, m’your sweet boy, Mommy,” he moans with a sob, his pace starting to stutter, the room filled with the lewd sounds of your bodies meeting and your passionate cries of pleasure. “And m’your man, right, Mommy?” His voice croaky as he grits his teeth, his orgasm building higher and higher in his lower abdomen, his tip rubbing that special spot inside of you that has your cunt tightening around him.

“F-Fuck! Yes! Yes, you’re my man, Justin—God, you’re so perfect, don’t stop!” You cry out, your back bowing off the bed, your bare chest pressing up into his as your eyes roll. Hearing you lose yourself in the pleasure he gives you has Justin’s chest swelling with pride; he was a man, your man, and he was making you feel good. “Not gonna stop, Mommy, never gonna stop!”

His hips slam into yours harder than before, the headboard of his bed now slamming into the wall behind it, your grip moves to Justin’s shoulders to hold on for dear life as he plows into you, your jaw going slack in a silent scream. Beads of sweat roll down the side of his face, his lungs burn from the panting but he still keeps going, determined to show you how manly your Sweet Boy can be and how well he can please you. The coil in the base of your stomach winds tighter and tighter with each harsh grind of his hips, his pubic bone rubbing your clit deliciously. Justin feels your thighs trembling around his middle, your walls fluttering around his length in warning of your impending orgasm.

“I love you, Justin, love you so much—oh fuck, m’gonna cum, m’gonna—“ you cut yourself off with a loud, shrill scream of Justin’s name, he lifts his head just in time to watch your high wash over you, your face scrunched up, mouth hung open wide, “I love you too, Mommy!” He slurs out, fighting to form words. Your eyes shut tightly as your walls close around him, milking his cock with all your might, it leaves him trembling with you, balls tightening at the sensation, his own orgasm erupting within him, his legs shake as his hot cum fills your sweet cunt, a high pitched yell echoing your scream as you both cling to each other.

“A-Aaah! Ahhhhhhhh!!” He groans, rope after rope coating your insides in his sticky spend, his hips still moving in staggered thrusts, milking both of your orgasms for all they’re worth. “Mommy, Mommy I love you, love you, love you, Mommy” he chants over and over as the spots behind his shut eyes subside, his head all fuzzy and light in the best way possible. You sigh and rub a hand up and down his back, your limbs feeling heavy as you come down from your own high. You press kisses to his sweaty head, your other hand holding the base of his skull, his face hiding in the crook of your neck as you hold him.

“I love you too, y’did so good, Sweet Boy, always do so good,” you whisper breathily to him, your legs relaxing around his waist, neither of you making any move to disconnect your sweaty bodies yet, just relaxing and basking in the buzzing afterglow. After a few minutes, Justin nuzzles your neck affectionately, humming and kissing softly, still in his subspace. You grin and hug him even tighter. “How are you feeling, baby?”

“S’gooooood, Mommy,” he slurs with a dopey smile, tiredness creeping up on him, his limbs still feeling light as he lays on top of you.

You giggle softly at his slurred words, peppering kisses along his forehead, “you’re so cute,” you say in between kisses, making Justin chuckle throatily and blush a pretty shade of pink. He lifts his head and nuzzles his cheek against yours, his lips shyly pecking your skin. “Mommy, I love you,” he whispers before kissing you softly, the kiss is brief but one of the sweetest you’d ever had.

“I love you more,” you say to him, grinning when he shakes his head and hums an ‘nuh-uh,’ you kiss him again, “uh-huh, and m’gonna love you forever, and ever, and ever, Sweet Boy…”

He pulls back to look you in the eye, “forever?”

You nod with certainty, beaming up at him, his face placid in awe, “forever and a day.”

Justin felt a fresh round of tears bubble in his eyes, this time he was overcome with warm fuzzy feelings, the amount of love pooling in his chest makes him want to burst. He can’t find the words to say and any attempts die in his throat, so he smashes his lips to yours. The next few minutes are spent simply kissing, enjoying the feeling of being held and loved by each other, your hands caress and pet with no aim, you just want to feel. You part with a heavy gasp, both of you breathless from the heavy kisses, his forehead resting on yours, you feel his hard cock throbbing in your walls but he pays it no mind, that wasn’t the focus right now. You can tell he’s tired from the way his eyes never open and limbs press you into the mattress naturally. “Let’s take a nap, hm?”

He nods and snuggles into you, wiggling to get comfortable as you pull the throw blanket on his bed over the both of you. A small yawn leaves Justin’s lips, his hot breath fanning your neck soothingly as you settling in. You rub his back lovingly, knowing exactly how to put your Sweet Boy to sleep, and soon enough you can hear the soft snores of the man above you. Your own yawn interrupts your passive thoughts of what to make for a snack when you both wake up. With each passing moment, your eyelids grow heavier and heavier, and soon you find yourself slowly drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~

Taglist: 

@inlovewithsebstan, @smokememories, @tumblin-theworldaway, @slothspaghettiwrites

[silkchvffon]

↻ ❛ ✖︎  𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓. °

the house was getting way too crowded for her liking, it was beginning to smell like sweaty bodies and alcohol. something that made her stomach turn. iridescent wasn’t the biggest drinker, she drank occasionally, but never to the point where she blacks out. deciding she needed some fresh air, she pushes herself through the crowd and headed towards the sliding doors in the back. grateful that each of the beach houses have similar layouts, it looked exactly like hers. she was headed out to do a little star gazing, it was much prettier out here than it was back in the city. that was until she was met with a familiar voice causing her breath to hitch. it’s been a while since the two of them were so called friends. iridescent even turns around to see if he was talking to somebody else, but nope it was just them. memories flooded back on how they were such good friends when they were younger, then one summer it all changed. “i – uh, i don’t think it’s a good idea, plus i don’t know tilly all too well, so i’m not sure if she’ll be okay with that.”

     MAYBE  CARTER  WOULD’VE  HELD  HIS  TONGUE  if  he’d  seen  iridescent  before  he  spoke.  things  have  changed  between  them,  the  obvious  rift  making  communication  stagger  now.  she’d  known  him  when  he  was  a  little  kid  without  a  single  worry  on  his  mind,  before  he’d  turned  into  whatever  he’d  categorize  himself  as  now,  and  it  makes  him  wonder  if  he  should  soften  around  her.  truth  is,  he  doesn’t  think  he  knows  how  to  do  that  anymore.  «  are  you  kidding  ?  »  carter  quirks  an  eyebrow  at  her,  smirking.  «  tilly  would  be  ecstatic  we’re  enjoying  ourselves.  »  he’s  mostly  saying  it  as  an  excuse,  but  in  the  short  time  he’s  known  tilly  he  also  believes  it  to  be  true.  he  gazes  curiously  at  iridescent.  «  are  you  ?  enjoying  yourself  ?  »

[literaila]

Space

spencer reid x reader 

warnings: none... well angst.. and shitty writing 

***

Long nights out with the rest of the team were always dreadful the next morning. 

But Y/N felt like this morning was one of the worst. 

She’d woken up with mascara running down her face, her joints stiff and cracking at any little movement. Her head was banging from the inside out, and if she focused enough she could feel her brain beating against her skull. 

And don't even get her started on Spencer. 

It had taken Y/N at least 10 minutes to get him to open his eyes. Although he wasn't an avid drinker and had only taken a couple of sips of wine, he seemed to be even more hungover than Y/N did. She cuddled up to him, leaving kisses down his cheeks and neck before he would even consider opening her eyes. 

So like the dutiful girlfriend she was, Y/N got up and started a pot of coffee for both of them, and then headed into the bathroom to grab some advil, which she had to force-feed to Spencer. 

And eventually, after the alarm clock started blaring for the 6th time, both of them finally started to get ready. 

Their dynamic for mornings like this was simple, Y/N always got to shower first, while Spencer fought to stay awake without yawning every 10 seconds, and then Y/N went to go make breakfast for the both of them, which they would eat in the car on the way to the BAU. 

And that particular morning no one seemed to be up for any sort of chit chat, barely even passing casualties back and forth before sitting down at their desks ready for a day of paperwork. They made sure to plan a night full of drinking the night before a day of paperwork. They weren't idiots all of the time. 

Though their good planning all went to waste when Hotch asked them to meet him in the conference room. 

Hangovers and serial killers it was. 

***

“Bobby Smith, 9 years old, vanished 48 hours ago from a residential area, where his mother Marlene Smith, claims to have dropped him off.” Garcia started handing each one of the team members a folder. You could hear the drowsiness in her voice, and because everyone felt the same, they all pretended to not notice. 

There was a brief silence while they all read their files before Derek startled them back to life. 

“48 hours and we’re just learning about it now?” 

Y/N carefully grabbed Spencer's hand under the table, rubbing up and down his forearm while reading her file. It was tough to keep it professional at work, but Y/N always managed to keep the touching as limited as she could. But the ache she felt when she wasn't touching Spencer spread through her muscles like angry wind just begging her to reach out to him. And so she touched him, she felt comforted by the little body heat she could feel from even just resting her, it was especially comforting when they were on a difficult case. It was a rare occasion when she managed to keep her hands off of him, but Y/N tried to keep it as platonic as she could, not wanting to make Spencer of their coworkers uncomfortable. 

Though as she read through her file, she could see the little inconspicuous movements Spencer made. She wondered if he was trying to keep himself awake or just felt restless, either way, she kept her hand on his. 

What she didn't see was the panicked almost annoyed glances Spencer was giving her hand, she didn't see the way he was leaning away from her, moving his chair slightly to the right as to distance himself from her. 

JJ did though, she watched with a frown on her face listening to Gracia explain what had happened to the little boy, but not moving her eyes off of Spencer and Y/N. She tried not to notice Spencer's body language and the clear physical contact going on under the table. 

“So she's not exactly on the shortlist for the mother of the year,” JJ said, still clearly looking at the couple, while neither of them noticed. 

And she didn't look away, even when Spencer looked up and added a few notes of statistics, and Hotch announced it was time to go. 

They all made moves to get up and go, watching Hotch walk out the door in a rush to get everything set up for them to leave. JJ grabbed Spencer before he could protest, dragging him into her office. The others watched in confusion before Derek finally said 

“Guess we aren't invited to the party.” as he walked to grab his go-bag. 

“It's probably something about the case, we better get going. Hotch seemed stressed.”

Y/N didn't seem confused by JJ and Spencer's scene, and let her mind run thinking about the case. 

“Y/N?” She heard Hotch call. 

He handed her a file and asked if she would bring it to Spencer- apparently it was something about the Mother he wanted him to look over- and because of the circles under his eyes, and the tired way his body was leaning she was quick to agree. 

Walking over to JJ’s office, she was about to knock when she heard

“I love her JJ, I really really do. Sometimes though- I just- want some space- like you know I don't like touching anyone anyway, and I just-” he sighed and Y/N could feel herself holding her breath. “I just want some more space. I’m not sure how to tell her though”. 

Y/N could feel the tears prick at her eyes, her stomach had fallen, taking the rest of her organs with it. At that moment it felt like the world was so silent she could hear her own heart beating. She could only think of all the times Spencer had seemed to pull away, thinking of the way she thought it was just an accident, that he was just restless, just needed to move a little. 

But no. 

He just didn't want her to touch him. 

Y/N heard JJ sigh a soft “Spence…” before she turned away, forgetting about the file she was supposed to give him, and walking to get her bag so she could get the hell out of the office.   

***

Finding Bobby's Mother dead was hard. It caused more confusion with the cause, and now the last known witness to Bobby had been murdered. The only good thing that had happened was the unsub letting one of the little boys go. But still, none of the team's questions had been answered.

Not touching Spencer was hard too. 

Y/N had never been self-conscious about her affliction to touch, she’d never been afraid to hug someone, or rest her hands on their shoulders while looking at them. In fact, she couldn't remember a time in her life where she didn't like touching people, even as a kid it was clear she was a touchy-feely sort of person, but no one had ever wanted her to stop.

Spencer's germaphobic tendencies didn't go unnoticed by Y/N, when they’d first met he’d made it a point not to shake her hand, but as they got more comfortable with each other that changed. He didn't seem to mind her running her hands up and down her arms, or resting her hand on his cheek, or hugging him from behind any chance she got. She thought she was just special, that Spencer loved her so much that he didn't mind touching her, that there was nothing gross about sharing germs with someone that he was infatuated with. 

Hearing that she was wrong was deafening. 

Although she knew she was probably blowing things out of proportion, it felt like she’d been lied to for the last 2 years she and Spencer had been together. The guilt she felt just knowing she was making him uncomfortable by just being herself was insane. 

And she couldn't help but feel like she had no option but to change it all. 

So she didn't touch him, not on the plane, where usually they would share the couch while looking over the case once again with the team. She didn't touch him when he passed her in the hallway when they were sitting next to each other in a rental car when they walked to the hotel room when they had stopped to grab coffee the next morning. She didn't touch him at all. 

It was killing her. 

Touch was such a frequent thing for her, such a necessity and she’d never even realized it. Not touching him all the time was swallowing her whole, and filling her with doubt and insecurities that threatened to take over her mind. Anytime she wasn't working, wasn't helping out, wasn't thinking, his voice would come back, loud and clear, asking her for space. Nothing would get rid of the fear that she was too clingy, that she was just too much. 

It was hard to look at him without worrying if he actually hated her love if he was starting to realize she was just too much for him. Just a couple of sentences could bring back insecurities that weren't gone apparently, just lost, insecurities that haven't been found since the beginning of their relationship when everything was still new. Y/N thought she’d moved past them. 

But she hadn't. And now she was avoiding her boyfriend. 

They had both noticed the distance, the wall that separated them. Spencer didn't understand it at all, he didn't know if something had happened or if he had done something, and he couldn't find the courage to ask. Y/N didn't want him to know. She didn't want him to feel guilty. She tried to ignore it, the constant barrier between them, but there was always a tension in the room. 

But this was work, and a boy's life was at risk. Relationship problems were the least of anyone's worries. 

Y/N and Spencer were stuck in the tiny conference room they had given the team at the police station, both of them going over files, although Spencer was obviously doing most of the work. Y/N could feel her eyes starting to fall, it wasn't technically that late, but paired with the insomnia that kept her up at night and the exhausting day she had and even 6 o’clock would seem late to anyone. 

It’d been an uncomfortable hour of silence and reading when Spencer finally spoke up, 

“Is something wrong?” Y/N could feel him looking at her, leaning his head down as if to make eye contact, but all she could feel was the heat coming off his body, the comfortable way his hand would feel in hers, and the hug that she so desperately needed. Eye contact wasn't enough, would never be enough, so she didn't look up.

A couple of days ago they would have been sitting almost on each other's laps, while reading, pointing out small details they noticed and helping each other. A couple of days ago Y/N wouldn't feel sad at the sound of Spencer's voice, and she would have looked up. 

A couple of days ago seemed like a dream. 

She could hear Spencer sigh and put down the paper he was holding. “Y/N?” He came around and put his hand on her shoulder, and her breath caught. “Is there something wrong?” He asked again quietly. 

A million different answers flashed in her head “Yes Spencer I’ve found out that you don't actually like me touching you and I don't know any way to cope with that.” or “I feel so incredibly guilty that I’ve been forcing you to deal with something that you don't like, and I feel even worse that I didn't notice it.” or “I just want a hug.”

But none of those thoughts came out of her mouth, what came out instead was “Yes Spencer! A little boy is missing and none of us have any fucking clue how to find him!”, quickly she pulled away from his hand, and forcefully grabbed her bag before saying “I’m gonna go call Hotch” and left slamming the door behind her. 

She didn't look back to see the sad look on Spencer's face. 

***

Bobby was alive.

And so were the two other women the unsub had taken. 

They were alive.

And they had the rest of their lives to live. 

The unsub was off to jail, where hopefully he could get over his bitter feelings towards his mother. Where hopefully he wouldn't hurt anyone else. 

Bobby had a long walk ahead of him, with his mother gone, murdered by the same man that was supposed to be helping Bobby. The grief was going to hurt, he would always have a missing piece, and a difficult story to share. For the rest of his life. 

But he was alive. 

***

 Going home to their small apartment was a relief. For both of them.

Y/N couldn't help but hope for some sleep. Just anything that would make her feel better. She couldn't shake the devastating feeling of grief that was stuck pounding in her chest. 

As much as she tried she couldn't convince her mind to get rid of the cloud of sadness covering it. She figured a good night's sleep would help remove some of that. 

The clashing colors and filled to the top bookshelves in the apartment made her feel at home, and she tried to imagine them as if they were a hug that was keeping her safe and warm.

Silence filled the apartment, both of them not saying anything, and quickly moving into different rooms. Y/N went to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. She was going to let Spencer have as much space as she could give him before she went to bed. 

They hadn't talked on the plane again, Y/N put as much distance between them on the couch as she could, and Spencer hasn't made any more moves to touch her since the scene in the conference room. Maybe he had taken the hint, or maybe he just didn't want to touch her. Y/N couldn't decide which one it was. 

“Y/N?” Spencer said slowly from the other room, almost as if he was questioning if she was still there. 

“Yeah?” she answered back in almost a whisper, which was fine for the acoustics of their small home. 

The acoustics that couldn't mask the sigh she heard come from the man in the other room before there was the distinct question of “can you come here?”. 

Y/N felt stupid being uncomfortable walking into her own room, but the tension between them had only grown in the past few days, and she really didn't want to be walking into another night of a clod bed and an unwavering feeling of doubt. 

“Do you need something Spence?” Y/N could hear the wheels of her boyfriend's brain turning from across the room. She had not directly addressed him in days. It was a surprise to both of them. 

“We need to talk.” The four words coming out of her boyfriend's mouth stopped her heart. Her brain was filled with what he had told JJ “I just need space.” What if he was breaking up with her? What if the space she was trying to give him wasn't enough? What if he needed so much space that even being in the same house as her was too much? What if she was still too much for him even when she was touching him?

Spencer cleared his throat and took a few steps toward her, moving closer to the door. “That sounded wrong I.. I didn't mean for it to sound like that- I just..” He stopped and she wondered why the words were so hard for him to get out? She wondered if this was really it. If the love of her life was going to leave. “What's going on with you?”

Now that, that surprised her. 

“W- what?” 

“Your face, I- I can see there's something wrong and I thought-'' Spencer's voice went up with his words, and Y/N could feel the emotion behind them. “ god I thought it was just the case because you seemed fine before, and that's what you told me. That's what you said!” his eyes were on her, watching her stare at the floor with such intensity clearly trying to voice the question in his voice. “I thought it was just the case? I thought it was just hard on you but you still look so.. So sad and you won't even look at me and just what is going on because there has to be something that I missed this- this didn't just happen?” His breath caught and all Y/N could do was stare at the floor and feel small. 

She felt so small. 

“N-” she cleared her throat trying to mask her voice into something stronger, “Nothing happened Spence.” 

“Then why won't you look at me?” He demanded still trying to get her to look up, still trying to get her to just look at him. 

“I- '' there were so many questions running through her head like how did they get there? How did any of this happen? How could she feel so miserable? Why couldn't she just look at him? 

“You haven't look at me, you haven't talked to me, you haven't even brushed your arm against mine once in the past week! I know something happened, and I don't know if I did something wrong? But I just want you to talk to me!”

The emotion coming from Spencer's voice surprised Y/N, but not as much as his words. He had actually noticed all of that? She felt so overwhelmed, and she had no idea how to answer him, how to explain everything. Tears were pricking at her eyes, and all she wanted to do was run away from him, from all the problems. She just wanted to run away.

Spencer took a deep breath and moved even closer to Y/N, standing right in front of her, ducking his head down to try to meet her eyes. “Y/N...we’re supposed to talk to each other. That's what couples do, they talk. I just want you to talk to me.” The desperation in his voice was obvious, but at that moment all Y/N could hear was ridiculing, and she felt like a child again, getting told what to do. And it was too much. 

She looked up. 

“That's what I thought Spencer! We’re supposed to talk to each other! So why couldn't you just tell me that you ‘needed space’?!?” The mocking was clear in her voice, and even though she saw the shocked look on her boyfriend's face she couldn't stop now. She moved her hands to wipe her tears and started again, “why couldn't you just tell me that I’m too much? Why did I have to find out by you talking to JJ?! God, I’m just trying to give you space but I’m not very good at it, so excuse me if I’m acting strange!”. 

Suddenly the mood in the room changed. Spencer finally understood, and Y/N felt relieved having her thoughts out in the open. Even though she was still terrified of what was going to happen, just expressing her feelings removed a big weight off of her chest. 

“Y/N..” 

“No! No. Its- it's fine. I’m sorry for yelling at you I’m just-” she felt small again, like all the courage she had was used when she had yelled at him. “I- maybe I’ll go see if Emily's okay with me crashing with her tonight- I just- I just have to get my stuff I’ll-” Y/N had turned around to go, ready to accept defeat when she felt the hands on her waist pulling her back. “Spence it's fine-”

“No, it's not fine.” He said harshly and insistently. He tried to get her to turn around, but she was frozen to her spot. “Will you please just look at me?” 

It took a few moments but hearing the desperation in his voice, Y/N finally let him turn her around. They stared at each other for a few moments, both of them stuck on the eyes they hadn't actually seen in days. Spencer was the first to break the silence. 

“I'm so so sorry.” The confusion must have been clear on his girlfriend's face because he continued, “I can't believe you could ever think I needed space from you, I can't believe I could ever believe I needed space from you.” There was guilt laced with frustration in his voice, and Y/N couldn't bring herself to speak. 

Spencer was gentle while removing his hands from her waist, and instead placing them on her face, gently lifting her chin so that she couldn't look away. It was strange to be so intimate after not touching him for days. But the relief coming from Y/N’s body was clear, just a little touch removed all the ache she’d been feeling for days.

“I was wrong.” Spencer started again, the sentence unusual for someone as smart as him. “I don't need space, I just need you. I just need you Y/N.” his eyes were pleading with hers instant, and she hoped hers were telling him it was alright. “It was unbearable not touching you. I’ve felt so closed in, claustrophobic, these past couple of weeks and I thought I was because of you, but it wasn't, you touching me was the only thing holding me together honestly.” 

Y/N felt more tears leave her, this time with happiness. Hearing that she could touch Spencer again flooded her body with the light she’d been missing. 

“I'm so sorry you heard me talking. I’m so sorry I was talking in the first place. I never really know when to keep my mouth shut.” They both laughed at his words. The tension was gone, and instead, a bliss overcame them, the distance was so exhausting for both of them, touching each other was like caffeine that made their skin buzz. 

“I love you, Spencer. I'm sorry for being so difficult.” He frowned at Y/N’s words, moving his thumbs slowly on her cheeks, and leaning down to kiss her. 

It was soft and slow, almost like Spencer was trying to tell her how much he loved her, and how much he loved being with her through a kiss. And it reminded Y/N of their first kiss, so much questioning but still deeper. So she kissed him and tried to display the same feelings for him. 

“You aren't going anywhere okay?” Spencer said breaking the kiss, a small smile resting on his face, a smile Y/N hadn't seen in days.

She pecked his lips and grinned at him, “just hold me okay?”.

And they were going to be okay. They hadn't talked everything out, but they were both exhausted, both barely awake. They would leave it for the night, and they would sleep peacefully in each others arms. Never again would space be included in the language they were building together. 

pt. 2 here

[bloodycassian]

reader x azriel - azriel takes reader to a bakery.

Azriel's cool charm filled the room, his shadows snaking the floor and receding as the meeting quieted. Without a word, he nodded in dismissal at the group and they continued debating again. He sat back, stone faced while the high lords discussed what there was to be done about The Middle. More specifically, the mountain and caverns underneath that had hosted the horror show for forty nine years. 

Guards stationed behind each high lord and their company, Azriel devoured the information his shadows brought back to him. There wasnt a single person in the room without at least two daggers on them. 

You leaned back in your chair next to Thesan, resting your chin on your hand. The plush amenities of Day court and their pastel colors had taken some getting used to over the last week, but you grew to appreciate the massive table in front of you. Large enough to fit all seven high lords and their company around it, along with a few extra chairs. If it wasnt for the lofty ceilings and open windows into several balconies you would have thought such a harty table to be gawdy, but in this instance it seemed utterly necessary. Especially when Rhysand's cousin slapped a giant map of Pryhtian down on it and the high lord's power shifted pawns throughout. Mapping each court's armies and defenses. 

A few of the leaders adjusted pawns, moving a few troops from one side of their court to another. Azriel perked up from his darkened corner at this, stepping forward and taking a glance at the map. He glared in your direction, catching your eye. He was utterly breathtaking, even with such a malice filled look on his face. You broke his stare to glance at your court's pawns on the map. A moment's hesitation after each high lord had stopped moving their pieces made your stomach drop. You glanced toward Thesan, seeing if he would move.  Rhysand seemed to be waiting as well. Azriel slowly, threateningly moved two of Thesan's pawns further south. He crossed his arms and walked back to his corner, his shadows almost hiding him completely. You felt Thesan tense as he shot Rhysand a charming grin.

You met the dark eyes of the spymaster, and rose from your seat. Stepping between a Beron and Kallis to move two more pawns east. You met his eyes again and winked, turning and going back to your seat. Thesan had ordered you before you left for the meeting to disperse your forces throughout the land, so it would make sense that the spymaster didnt know if the extra changes.

The room was tense, each high lord looking to each other to see if anyone else was hiding their foces. Helion suddenly let out a booming laugh, makin you jump slightly. "Rhysand have you been keeping your spymaster too busy perhaps?"  Rhysand chuckled, leaning forward in his seat and purring his reply "I'll have to send them back to training camp." His general's wings flared slightly and you fought to hold back a smile. Azriel revealed nothing, and said nothing until the meeting was over.

You were cleaning the scattered pawns from the map when Azriel approached. He was silent, but pushed the figuines from his side over to you in a pile. You nodded thankfully, eyeing him as he moved to roll up the cloth map still laid out over the grand table. You felt your hands get clammy, the silence in the room was palapable. The only other sounds were the hushed rustling of the trees in the slight breeze outside. The balcony doors were still open, and a cool wind slithered into the room. You opened the cloth bag for the pawns, there was a sudden clattering against the marble floor. You sighed, setting the bag down. Before you turned to pick it up you noticed the darkened atmospehre of the room. Then bumped straight into Azriel's chest in your distraction. 

"Sorry I-" You felt your face turn hot and made to step back, only to find yourself slipping on the damned pawn. He caught your arm, stablising you. "Are you normally this accident prone?" He asked, a small smirk on his lips. You looked to where his hand held you, and noticed the textured skin there. He cleared his throat and lowered your arm. 

"I guess you could blame it on the wind." You stammered. What you meant to say was 'I guess you could blame it on the fine Illyrian shadow master in the room'. His smirk seemed to say he knew exactly what you were thinking. And maybe with those shadows he did know. His build seemed to fill the room standing this close to you, broad shoulders -t support the massive wings no doubt- and muscles and the hair was immaculate. He smelled of pine and leather, sea salt and something darker. Maybe that was the shadows themselves. 

"You dont like the cold?" He asked, head tilting slightly. 

"Should I really be telling a spymaster anything that I'm afraid of?" You challenged, smiling at him. His eyes seemed to light up. He nodded and stepped back. You forgoe the groan of displeasure at the empty space between you. 

"Have you ever really been in the cold before? Dawn court and all.." He trailed off, sauntering towards the balcony and motioning you to follow. You obeyed, dropping the cloth bag on the table. You took your time approaching him, marvelling at the wings he bore. How thick the outer edges were, and how delicate the inner folds looked. In the dull darkness you could barely make out the inky black forms of them as he stretched them out. They flared and tilted, and you understood why they were so hard to see. 

His shadows had melded into the darkness, shielding them and his lower half completely, Blending him into the night. Becoming a shadow himself. You felt a chill run through you at the sight. He was darkness, and all the whispers on the wind. The epitome of pure silence, but not pressing, a soothing darkness, silence and comfort. Liek a comfort of sleep. 

"Are you going to stare or come for a ride with me?" he asked, folding his wings in tight and turning towards you. He leaned back on the balcony confidently, the column of his neck exposing a few scars behind his ear. You shuddered to think of what kind of beast could make such an impact on someone who was mist and shadow. 

"If someone sees us Thesan will know immidea-" He cut you off with a stare, and you felt coolness begin creeping up your legs. You felt nervous, heart hammering in your chest as he stood so close to you, eyes knowingly glancing to your chest briefly. His shadows danced around you like a fog, asking permission to cover you further. And you were sure they were reporting back to him how badly he had riled you.

 "No one will see us." He promised, holding a hand out to you. You took a steadying breath and nodded nervously. As soon as you touched that scarred hand he had you covered in the snaking darkness, the tendrils weaving around you protectively. It felt like being in a heavy ocean mist, and it brought goosebumps to your skin. Azriel huffed a small laugh as he bent to scoop you up.

Before you could protest and come up with some sort of excuse, he had you cradled to his chest and he was summoning those shadows even more around the both of you. 

And then you were falling. Your stomach leapt into your throat, fingers clawing into Azriel's shoulders. You were sure you were dead when the feeling stopped. "Open your eyes." The shadow master squeezed you a bit extra, getting your attention. "I dont think I can." you muttered, but slowly peeked through your lashes to see the millions of tiny lights below. 

The breath was stolen from you as your eyes flew open, gazing in amazement at the city below. Dawn court was built more upwards than any of the other courts, so you were used to seeing castles towering above and lights shine from them. But you'd never seen the city from this high. You wondered how he had flown so high in such a short time but decided you didnt want to know the answer even if he could tell you. The enormous archways of the high lord's palace was visible from the sky. The stars above were dull, as usual in Dawn and Day court. You never found much pleasure or satisfaction at night in either  territory. It only made you wonder what Night court's stars were like. If the moon beckoned and blessed the land like the noon sun seemed to make everything in Day court shimmer. 

 "You can stop trying to claw me to death at any time." His voice rumbled softly, almost scaring you. You loosened your grip on him, only enough so he wouldn't complain. He banked slowly, you could only tell so because the spires coming closer to you as you approached the center of the city. The streets below were lit with clear bright lights that showed off all the boutiques of main street and the patio areas for bars all around. The stained glass windows of second story balconies reflected pastel lights on to the sidewalks, painting them in pastels. 

You could smell the bakery below, churning out different treats of pastries and breads for the late night drinkers. The sweet warm smell of it made your mouth water. "Would you like to stop in somewhere?" Azriel asked as he whisked you upward again, avoiding the tall lights as the city rose up hill. 

"I think you might be recognized a bit too easily." You chided, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. He was watching the sky, his face unlike any expression you'd ever seen him wear. At peace, it seemed. He didnt have the clenched jaw or stern eyebrow look anymore. His hair ruffled slightly at the small breeze that came through the shield he had placed around you. 

He considered his fame as Spymaster for a moment, then nodded. And plummeted you downwards into the city. You fought not to scream, only digging your nails into his skin again, hoping it hurt. He landed in a narrow alley, hidden from the blinding lights of the street. The smell of sweets hung in the air. You still held tight on to his arm after he set you on your feet. You then shoved him, palm straight into his shoulder and sent him a step back, his wings flared and balanced him before he could falter any further. "You could tell me next time!" You growled at him. A clever grin graced his features, smoothing out his surprise at the shove. 

"Only members of the night court get free flying privileges." He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. "I expect my payment with a side of cinnamon." He nodded towards the street. You glanced back and he was gone, likely shouded in the darkness somewhere. You whispered curses at him while heading to the bakery.

"Why do you like cinnamon so much?" You asked around a mouthful of sweet bread. Azriel had devoured his chocolate and cinnamon twist, along with the extra side of cinnamon. He still had evidence of it on his face and shirt despite the windy takeoff before he put his shield up. "Why dont you?" He retorted, his powerful wings gliding you around the east side of the tower where the week of meeting had taken place.

"I just wouldnt expect the Shadow master of the Night Court to have such a sweet tooth." You grinned at him, absently wiping the sugar from his face. His eyes went to yours in an instant, and your heart hammered being pinned by that stare. He landed gracefully on the balcony, eyes still locked on you. He merely stood there, holding you. Both frozen.