#it's not for an addiction reason although that would be a good reason to bring it up with a therapist unironically that's not embarrassing

[sunspira]

mentioning "genshin impact" to my therapist has been the most humiliating moment of my young life

[theboombutton]

The interesting thing about tmagp episode 9 is that, from one perspective, it's about a pair of dice that kill you if you roll a crit fail. And in TMA that would be very End-coded. Games of chance were End-coded, and death is obviously The End. Open and shut case.

Except it's not, here. The statement giver had never seen anyone roll a 2 before he ran into Gary in that coffee shop, even after thousands of rolls. That's not an End artifact. Those dice are going out of their way not to kill anyone, save those who try to part with them.

The compulsion to roll feels like the Web, but is it? Certainly games of chance can become addicting, but I don't think that's the whole story. The Web is about the fear of the loss of control, yes, but it's also about something else controlling you instead. Here that something else is an embodiment of "random" chance - although again, it's not properly-random, not even pseudorandom. I have thoughts on that but they're best addressed further on.

Weirdly, of all the manifestations of Fear from TMA, this statement seems most akin to Jude Perry's - rolling the dice with other people's lives and fortunes, for the thrill of sometimes devastating them.

Which brings me back to the possibility of AU Fears.

In the Protocolverse, why shouldn't there be a Fear associated with chance and luck and fate and misfortune that happens for no good reason? A fear of lacking control and losing everything, without anyone else necessarily having that control.

This is where the way the dice are rigged becomes possibly meaningful. Their outcomes aren't random - they're what humans expect random to look like. They operate according to the gambler's fallacy, where the longer a chain of bad luck you have the more you're due for a good roll, and vice versa. Snake eyes aren't just a normal outcome of the 1-in-36 chance of rolling 2d6 - they're reserved for when someone is cursed with truly rotten luck. Notably that isn't true of boxcars: those just happen sometimes, without prerequisite.

Logically, a Fear of Misfortune wouldn't operate on the actual rules of probability, would it? It would be shaped by the superstitions of those that feared it.

(Also, I hope this statement puts the "they're not fears they're desires!" theory to bed. This guy didn't want the dice, and didn't especially want to roll them, but seemed compelled to anyway.)

[letsgoletsgetit08]

...they were roommates

summary: Hongjoong is at his wit's end with his new roommate. His new roommate, whom he finds out has a surprising way of making money.

warnings/tags: mdni, 18+, explicit smut, spanking, counting, safe/sane/consensual, light dom/sub, jung wooyoung likes being told what to do

pairings: dom!kim hongjoong x sub!jung wooyoung, cam boy!jung wooyoung

author's note: This is loosely based on canon events of Wooyoung admitting he liked it when Hongjoong bossed him around.

word count: 3,246

ao3 link: ...they were roommates

...they were roommates

Hongjoong didn’t know how much longer he could take it. He had thought it was fiscally responsible to sublet his spare bedroom for the school year, but he was quickly realizing there’s a reason people warn you about strangers on the internet. He knew that Wooyoung had been listening intently when he explained the house rules. He even repeated them back to him. 

So why was he so blatantly determined to ignore every single last one?

It was almost like he was doing it on purpose! 

The rules weren’t anything crazy either:

1) Keep the kitchen clean, wash your dishes after using them

2) I keep odd hours so I would appreciate it if you warned me if you have someone/are bringing someone over

3) Common areas are off limits for sex

4) Pay your rent on time

But Hongjoong could almost predict as he walked into the kitchen, there would be a coffee mug, a bowl, and chopsticks in the kitchen sink. 

Usually he loved being right. 

But after pulling an all-nighter, getting less than glowing reviews from his music production studio professor that morning, and to top it all off, the muted noises of sex obviously coming from the younger’s bedroom, this was the last straw. 

Hongjoong was not a prude. He felt that was worth noting. And don’t get him wrong, he definitely expected someone bright and handsome with siren eyes and an addictively animated laugh like Wooyoung to bring home sexual partners, but he never expected it to be so often. It seemed like every other day he was subjected to toe-curling noises from the man’s room. And yes, although he would never admit it to Wooyoung, due to his own schedule being crazy and having zero spare time to date around, sometimes Hongjoong touched himself to the noises, making up his own scenario in his head. But he would never ever admit that. 

He knew he was probably about to walk in on a sight that would be burned into his brain forever, but he had to admit, Wooyoung was full of surprises.

He barged into Wooyoung’s room unannounced, ready to tell him off, and was met with the sight of the man alone, spread out on his bed, completely naked, with ring lights, his phone on a tripod, and a second camera set up filming from a different angle, lubed up, fully hard cock being stroked in his hand. And he didn’t stop when Hongjoong walked in. Which was maybe the most surprising part. 

Hongjoong was too sleep-deprived and annoyed to not shake out of it and deliver his message anyway, ignoring the drool pooling in his mouth at the sight. He was so touch-starved, and he was just being hit with how badly he missed it. “Wooyoung,” he said, sternly, “Do you remember the rules you agreed to when you moved in?”

Wooyoung’s eyelids fluttered, his hand slowed slightly, surprised at the other’s tone of voice, “Yes, I do.” He said breathlessly.

“Good. Then you’ll take care of the dishes in the sink before I wake up in the morning.” Hongjoong couldn’t help but notice that his authoritative presence seemed to be… turning Wooyoung on?

The younger dared to smirk, hand picking up the pace, bratty as ever, “Or what?”

His own dick was filling in as he watched the man get closer to the brink of release, “Or what? You don’t want to know, Wooyoung. But be sure that I will figure out a way to punish you for your behavior. Show me that you understand.”

Wooyoung’s breath became shaky and he held Hongjoong’s eye contact as he said, “Yes sir.” In a strained voice.

“Good boy.” Hongjoong said, which was followed by Wooyoung releasing all over his own hand and stomach, head thrown back, his open mouth slowly turning into a smile as he came down. 

Hongjoong turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him, making quick work of his pants on his walk to his own bedroom, barely having to touch himself as the image of Wooyoung getting off was burned so vividly onto the backs of his eyelids, hips bucking as he found his own release. 

What the fuck just happened. 

They did not speak about what happened. 

But the dishes were clean and put away the next morning. And it was okay with Hongjoong that they didn't talk about it. 

But as the days went on, Wooyoung seemed to crave his attention more and more, coming by his room to ask him questions he definitely knew the answer to, appearing in the kitchen when he heard Hongjoong in there, happening to leave his room (shirtless) when he predicted Hongjoong would be in a common area. It all culminated a few days later when Hongjoong was working on his laptop in the living room and Wooyoung walked through right as Hongjoong’s stomach let out a loud growl, obviously hungry. He actually couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten. 

Wooyoung plopped himself down on the couch next to him, reaching up to pull his headphone gently off of his ear, a bright smile on his face as he leaned in to ask, “Anything I can do to help with that?”

Hongjoong huffed through his nose, “You could be useful for once and cook us dinner.” He said, cocking an eyebrow, challenging. 

He could almost swear he saw Wooyoung shiver at the instruction, “If I cook for us, you have to take a break and eat with me.” He poked his bottom lip out, pouting. 

“If I take a break with you to eat, you have to clean up the kitchen afterwards.” Hongjoong shot back. 

“No fair!” Wooyoung whined. 

“I didn’t say I was fair,” Hongjoong grabbed Wooyoung’s wrist, pulling his hand off his headphone, daring to stroke it gently with his thumb before placing it gently onto the younger’s lap, “What are you waiting for?” He asked as he turned back to his laptop, putting his headphone in place once more. 

Maybe he was cracking the code on this whole roommate situation. 

And he was good to his word, he pointedly picked up his laptop and deposited it onto his desk in his bedroom, closing the door behind him after Wooyoung came by to tell him dinner was ready. Wooyoung was a good cook, and he told him as much, delighting as he watched the man preen with the praise. 

“I want to play a game,” Wooyoung announced as he all but pranced over to the table with a chilled, unopened bottle of soju in one hand, a pair of shot glasses in another. 

“A game?” Hongjoong’s curiosity was piqued, he couldn’t deny it. 

“Mhm,” Wooyoung nodded as he poured two shots, “It’s Friday night, Hongjoong. Can your project wait until tomorrow? You deserve to let loose and have fun occasionally, you know.”

Hongjoong sighed, thinking about it. Really he did have plenty of time to finish his assignment over the weekend, even if he spent half of tomorrow hungover. And really, truthfully, he was becoming increasingly curious about Wooyoung. He would like to see where this was going. “Okay. Fine. You got me. What game do you want to play, Woo?”

Wooyoung blushed at the shortening of his name, “I want to know more about you. It’s been almost two months and we barely have spoken to each other. So I want to take turns asking each other questions. If we don’t want to answer, take a shot.” He smiled smugly. Pleased with his own genius idea.

“Seems fair enough to me,” Hongjoong concluded, “But let’s move to the couch, these chairs suck.” And I don’t want a hunk of wood separating us, he thought to himself as they relocated. 

Wooyoung sat next to him on the couch, cross-legged, so they could face each other. 

“You can start.” He offered to the younger. 

“Okay. When was the last time you had sex?” Wooyoung gave him an impish grin after asking.

“Oh, look! Soju!” Hongjoong said as he grabbed his shot glass off the coffee table and threw it back. 

“Aw boo, you're no fun!” Wooyoung whined. 

Hongjoong ignored him, “Did you post the video with my voice in the background?” He asked as he felt the warmth from the alcohol move through his body. 

“No way,” Wooyoung looked offended, “I would never post anything with you in it, at least not without your consent first.” 

Hongjoong didn't know why he was surprised but he was glad that Wooyoung seemed to be considerate, have some sort of decorum, moral code, “Okay, good. Thank you.” 

Wooyoung reached over and squeezed his knee, “Of course. Don't thank me for doing the bare minimum. My turn!” He pretended to think about it, “Did you get off?” His voice had turned husky, “After you walked in the other day?”

Hongjoong felt heat swirl in his abdomen, blood rush to his cheeks, “Was I that obvious?” He met Wooyoung’s eyes sheepishly, the other’s were half-lidded, hungry. They both were subconsciously sipping on their soju in between questions, probably out of nervous habit.

“Is that your question?” He asked. 

“Is that yours?” He replied. 

“No.”

“Exactly.”

“Yes, you were that obvious. Ask me if I thought it was hot.” Wooyoung was leaning in now.

He felt himself swallow, “Did you think it was hot?”

Wooyoung winked and took a shot.

“You brat!” Hongjoong accosted him. 

“You like it,” Wooyoung simpered as he refilled his glass.

“Maybe.” He leaned in as well, “You like being told what to do, don't you?”

Wooyoung’s eyelids fluttered slightly, “Yes. And you like being in charge?”

“Definitely. How do you feel about being spanked?”

A blush crept up Wooyoung’s neck, “Mmh, good. Definitely good. You know I'll need aftercare, right?”

“Absolutely. Safe word?”

“Chrysanthemum.”

“Um, bless you?”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes, “It's my birth month flower.”

“My room or yours?” Hongjoong asked as he reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind the younger’s ear, noting how he leaned into the touch.

“It's my turn!” Wooyoung was more busy staring through Hongjoong's eyes straight into his soul than he was actually protesting. 

“Jagi,” Hongjoong's hand traced down the other’s face, thumb landing on his bottom lip, “I really don't care.” 

He closed the gap between their mouths, earning a squeak of surprise that quickly turned into a moan from the younger. 

Hongjoong had missed this, he hated to admit to himself. It had been far too long. 

Their lips slotted together like they had done this a thousand times before, soft, exploratory kisses quickly turning hungry, needy. Hongjoong grabbed Wooyoung’s chin, turning their heads to the side as he licked into the other’s mouth, greedily sucking on his tongue, pulling another delicious moan from his mouth.

Wooyoung pulled back, “Oppa,” he panted, “I'm not doing those dishes.” 

“I know.” He kissed down his jawline, “But you're going to make it up to me. You'll be good for me, won't you, baby?” 

A sharp intake of breath as he nipped as his earlobe, “Yes. Yes sir.” 

“Mmh,” Hongjoong attached his lips to the sensitive spot behind his ear, marking him, “So sensitive.”

He didn't give Wooyoung a chance to react, instead opting to reach down and start pulling the his shirt off, following with his own, before standing up and offering him his hand, “Bedroom. Now.” 

He led them into Wooyoung’s bedroom, knowing his roommate had condoms and lube (and probably plenty of other things) unlike himself, who was on at least a year long dry spell. Wooyoung didn't question it, just did as he was told. 

They shed their clothes quickly, Wooyoung gasping as he finally was able to see Hongjoong fully naked, “I've literally never seen you go to the gym or work out, how the fuck do you look so good?” 

Hongjoong blushed, “Shut up.”

“Make me.” Wooyoung challenged. 

“Hands and knees on the bed.” He said, kissing him lewdly before shoving him backwards onto mattress. 

He watched as the younger complied, feeling his dick fully harden at the sight of Wooyoung presenting himself, pretty cock hanging uselessly, already dripping precum. 

“Supplies are in the bedside table.” Wooyoung informed him as he made his way around the edge of the bed, “Perfect.”

He pulled out a condom and lube, put them within reachable distance on the bed, then climbed up behind the miles of velvety smooth honey skin waiting for him. 

Hongjoong grasped one of his ass cheeks, rubbing it gently, “You understand why I have to do this right, Youngie?”

“Yes sir,” He replied, breathless.

“Good,” he drew back his hand and landed the first spank, earning a startled gasp, followed by a whine as he soothed the sting with his hand, “Count for me, darling.” 

“One,” Wooyoung whimpered. 

Hongjoong barely let him get the word out before landing the next slap to his other ass cheek this time. 

“Two!” He exclaimed instinctively, nearly in shock.

“Mmh, very good, what a quick learner you are.” Hongjoong praised, as he reached for the lube, applying it to his fingers before starting to slowly circle the tight rim that was being presented to him. He drew his other hand back and landed the third strike, this one slightly harder. 

Wooyoung gasped, “Fuck. Three.” 

Hongjoong slipped his first finger inside, knuckle by knuckle, enjoying how he was being drawn in. He struck again. 

“Four.” He whined, but his hips moved greedily towards Hongjoong, obviously enjoying himself. 

“You like this, don't you baby?” Hongjoong teased as he added a second finger, letting the other adjust to it before spanking him again. Wooyoung gasped but couldn’t seemed to get words out. “Use your words, love.” Hongjoong instructed. 

“Yes,” His hips bucked as Hongjoong curled his fingers, finding his prostate, “Yes I like it.”

“What else?”

“Oh,” He was already so fucked out and they had barely started, “Five.”

Hongjoong smiled, said, “Good boy,” before landing the next one. 

“Six!” Wooyoung panted.

“I bet you could get off just like this, couldn't you?” Hongjoong stroked his ass cheek as he added a third finger. 

“Probably.” 

“Do you think you can cum twice, jagi?” Hongjoong whispered, scissoring his fingers, landing another slap. 

“Seven. Yes. Please. God yes, I'm so close already.” He sounded so desperate. It was hot. 

Hongjoong was steadily hitting his prostate, “Okay, good. You can cum on ten.” He spanked him again. 

“Eight” 

Another.

“Nine!”

Finally.

“Ten!” And he was pouring out onto the bed as Hongjoong coaxed him through it, slowing the pace of his fingers as he clenched around them. 

“Oh, what a good boy,” He removed his fingers, guiding the younger onto his back so as to avoid landing in the mess he had just made. 

Wooyoung was sweating, panting, he looked so fucking good, Hongjoong thought he might eat him for dessert. 

He kissed the inside of Wooyoung’s knee, working up his thigh, letting the other catch his breath for a minute as he kissed and sucked, feeling almost painfully hard at the idea that he would be covered in marks. Claimed. 

He was surprised at how fast the man was filling back up with arousal. Soon, he was begging, “Fuck, Hongjoong, please.”

“Please what, darling?” 

“Please, I need you inside of me.” 

“Mmh.” He pulled back to quickly roll the condom on, “Only because you asked so nicely.”

He applied more lube, then positioned himself between Wooyoung’s legs, teasing him by dragging his cock everywhere except for where he wanted him. 

Wooyoung arched off the bed, trying to find friction, grabbing for Hongjoong's hips. 

“No, no, baby.” He grabbed his hands and pinned them over his head as he finally lined himself up, starting to push in, “Hands to yourself.”

Wooyoung felt incredible, greedily sucking him in. So wet, hot, tight. 

Incredible. 

Fucking incredible. 

He took his time pressing in for as long as he could stand it, before finally burying himself to the hilt, Wooyoung’s legs wrapping around his waist. 

He paused to let the other adjust before finally landing his first thrust. Slow. Languid. Almost lazy. 

Wooyoung’s hips bucked, he whined, needy. 

Hongjoong took pity, started fucking him for real, leaning forward to graze his teeth lightly over the younger’s nipple, earning a gutteral moan in response. 

“So reactive, jagiya. You're so much fun.” He didn't wait for a response, just attached his lips to his nipple, sucking as he set a steady rhythm. 

It was probably stupid to fuck him missionary. He feared he would catch feelings. 

He feared he already had started to, position of choice be damned. 

“M so close, Joongie. Fuck. Feel so good.”

He pulled back, kissing his way up the younger's chest, up his neck, “Go ahead, gorgeous. You can let go.”

He really followed instructions so well. Hongjoong followed closely behind, feeling a little bad that he was probably overstimulating him, but by the look on his face, and the way his legs latched tight around his hips, he liked that, too. 

He collapsed on Wooyoung’s chest, both of them spent, laying panting together before he finally pulled out, discarded the condom. He returned to the bed quickly, pulling Wooyoung to his chest, stroking his hair, kissing his forehead, praising him, “You did so well, baby. You were so good. It wasn't too much, was it?”

Wooyoung shook his head, “No way. It was perfect. Thank you.” 

Hongjoong smiled into his sweaty hair, “No, thank you.” 

They showered together, Hongjoong carefully washing Wooyoung’s hair, being gentle with him, making sure he knew how cared for he was. Aftercare, yes, but Hongjoong felt there was more behind it. It was totally possible he was developing feelings for his roommate. 

“Um, Joong?” Wooyoung asked carefully as they toweled off together. 

“What's up?” 

“Can we… well. I really do better being held afterwards. It doesn't have to be all night!-”

Hongjoong cut him off, “Sleep in my bed, jagi. I'm more than happy to have you.”

Hongjoong fell asleep easily with Wooyoung tucked into his chest, his rhythmic heartbeat, his steady breath, his weight and warmth. 

He woke up to an empty bed, hearing a clattering in the kitchen, Wooyoung's voice as he was singing to himself carried to his bedroom. 

He was doing the dishes. 

Hongjoong came up behind him, wrapped his arms around his waist, making the other jump at the contact before relaxing into it once he realized what was happening. He laid kisses down his neck in greeting, meeting Wooyoung’s lips as he turned his head, asking for it. The angle was weird but they made it work. 

And that's how Hongjoong ended up giving Wooyoung head in their kitchen. 

The next few weeks went just about like that, in fact, if you asked him, Hongjoong wasn't sure there was a surface in their apartment that they hadn't had sex on at this point. It wasn't until Hongjoong woke up in Wooyoung’s bed for the third night in a row when they hadn't even had sex the night before to warrant it, that they ever breached the subject of what they were. 

“Youngie?” He pulled him close to his chest, “Be my boyfriend?”

Wooyoung giggled, “I've been yours since the first day when you walked in on me, Joong.” 

And that was that. 

The first video they posted together on Only Fans was Wooyoung's most popular to date. 

Maybe they had truly figured out this whole roommate situation.

[neodaydreams]

How to disappear - L.DH. [teaser]

Pairing: idol!reader x idol!haechan

Genre: pure angst, suggestive.

Summary: You and Haechan are addicted to the adrenaline of being on stage, but once the show is over, you need to find something else to fill the void. - A tale of the troubled relationship between two child stars that burned too much as they grew up.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, addiction, drug consumption, drug abuse, mental illness, depressive episodes, suicidal thoughts, mommy issues, smoking.

Word count: TBA.

You and Donghyuck were seated across from each other in the bathtub, no words exchanged. Despite what was supposed to be an intimate moment, the complete silence that allowed even the small droplets of water falling to the ground to be heard was uncomfortable.

Your eyes, unable to meet his, looked at the ceiling—the stupid gray ceiling your mom had chosen against your will.

“Is this the life you envisioned when you started this?” you asked, finally breaking the silence, although the tension in the room was still high. Donghyuck's face was still turned in the opposite direction from yours.

“No.” His voice was quiet, broken, very different from the usual Hyuck you and everyone else knew. Even on his most tired days, when he could barely keep his eyes open or move due to the incessant hours of work, you had never seen him so broken down, so visibly defeated that it showed in his every action.

“Why are you here, Hyuck?” The question made him look at you for once. “I have no redeeming qualities other than my face and body, and I know that at this point, that’s not enough to make you stay.” You started to approach him.

“I am not fun, interesting, or smart. I am not a good listener nor comprehensive to other people's struggles. And I’m not a good talker either. I don't bring any joy and if anything, I make you even more miserable than you already are on your own.” Even with the self-deprecating words about yourself and him, you kept the same bored and monotone tone as always, hoping that would encourage Hyuck to do the same, to play pretend with you. But that was not the only thing you hoped for as you wished for Hyuck to give a comforting answer. To hold you in his arms and say something sweet, to assure you that everything was going to be fine with the both of you and the only reason he stayed with you was because he loved you and that was enough.

But Hyuck stayed quiet, confused red eyes looking into yours with a frown on his delicate face.

“Why do we keep insisting on this?” you tried again.

Do you love me? Do I love you?

“I don't know.” His voice was still broken.

[igotanidea]

A pattern : Jason Todd x reader

(Part 1 of How to be a good boyfriend series)

Every word he said to her was a lie...

Or at least that was how he felt.

I'll keep you safe  - when he couldn't even keep her safe from himself. 

You're safe with me - when even as much as her leaving home meant being put on the spotlight. 

I love you - well that was true, but in his love he was so selfish it almost felt like a lie.

Selfish.

That was what he was.

Kissing her with a promise if tomorrow that could never come.

Holding and touching her, knowing he was going to leave her alone for the night. Again and again. Over and over.

Looking at her like she was his sun, moon and stars, even though that excessive attention was putting her in danger from all his enemies, real and potential.

So selfish. 

And yet he could not stop.

Not when she was making him feel the warmth inside. The sense of belonging. 

Not with the way she was bringing something long forgotten in him - happiness.

Then why did It feel like he was using her. Why did it feel like every time she laid her head on his shoulder or chest he was rather taking that warmth and serenity than giving it. Why did if feel like he was nothing more than a little kid, missing the embrace and promise of love and safety then providing it.

He shouldn't be a kid in this relationship. 

"Hey, what's bothering you?" Y/N asked softly, raising eyes onto him, reading his face, searching for the reason for the sudden tension she felt coming from him. 

"Nothing." he muttered. "I'm fine."

"Come on, Jay. Don't act like that."

"Like what?!" He bursted, suddenly getting a heavy wave of self-doubts. Even his Y/N was seeing that he was acting like a child. And this was clearly not what she needed. And now that she knew she was going to leave him alone. Break up with him. Break the heart that slowly started to open up and heal while being with her and--

"Hey. Hey, look at me!" She cried out desperately as he tried to (literally) push her away. Her hands found a way to his cheeks forcing his eyes on hers once more "Stop it. Don't cut me off. Talk to me."

"I don't know how to be a good boyfriend to you." he confessed looking down, unable to see the inevitable mockery that was going to reflect in her eyes. 

"How to--. Wait, what? Jason? Who put that thought in your head?"

"No one. I can tell by myself that I am not what you need."

"Jason--"

"No. Let me finish. I do want to be what you deserve. And that's why I asked Dick-"

"Dick? Oh my god, please don't tell me you asked the greatest playboy heartbreaker for advice in a relationship..." 

"Well, he's got some good tips on that-" Jason mumbled, though admitting that his older brother might have been right about something was at least painful. 

"No." Y/N shook her head, squeezing his hand "No. Jason. Forget them."

"But-"

"Hush. You listen to me now. Although Dick experience in the matter of relationships is undeniable - I don;t think you should take him as a role model."

"Then who, Y/N?! WHO!?" He yelled and regretted it a second later "I'm sorry-- I didn't mean too. It's just--" 

"Look, sweetheart. Lesson one, if you want it, is that there's no pattern when it comes to two people building something together. No one will tell you that when you do things a certain way it will work out. There is no magical number of things a girl and a boy have to do together to make sure they will be happy."

"There isn't?" Jason's face dropped at the sudden realisation. "But-- But then how am I supposed to make sure you are happy with me? How can I ensure that-"

"Jason."

"I really want to --"

"Hey. Stop it!" she chuckled leaning to kiss his forehead "We learn together. That's how."

"But-"

"Stop doubting yourself, okay? I am happy with you, mostly because I get to discover things I never did. Because you like them. Damn, do you think, I would even know I enjoy bike rides, if it wasn’t for you? Or would I know that I actually got the romantic part in me, if not for your Jane Austen addiction?"

"Um--" Jason blushed a little and it was so cute it made her laugh and peck his lips softly,  "Hey... what was that for?" He asked, getting even more flustered. 

"Consider it a gold star for memorising lesson one." she smiled.

"That every story is unique?" He tried to make sure.

"Yes. So let's make sure you don't ruin it with unnecessary silly thoughts, ok?"

He nodded. 

"Then I got one important question to ask...." she took a deep breath - "Jason Peter Todd... will you learn how to be in a relationship with me?"

"I will. And I hereby swear to not listen to Internet couches and tiktok charlatans."

"Finally, you're getting some common sense back..." she chuckled, knowing well enough that his words, even if a little teasing, were a sign that he trusted her. Both with learning, but most importantly - with his heart. And with that knowledge she pledged to keep that part of him safe.

[luvingspence]

jealousy | s.r

hey guys and gals! someone dm’d me and asked for my ops on spencer handling jealousy :) i haven’t wrote fan fics in a while but i have no problem writing stuff like this atm! i honestly just need good ideas for fan fics to get back into my groove so please if you have any ideas for stuff you’d like to see me write (no smut) go ahead and send me an ask <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

♡ baby spence

♡ poor baby spence would hide his jealousy :(

♡ i feel that he would be too scared of the conflict that could arise from confronting you about what you or someone else did to cause his jealousy.

♡ ESPECIALLY if you weren’t in an exclusive relationship, in his mind it wouldn’t be his place to say anything :(

♡ he would become avoidant and visibly insecure

♡ “oh, no i’m okay :)(“

♡ derek would eventually get it out of him though, as he always does!

♡ when you finally find out he would be SO apologetic even though it literally isn’t his fault😭

♡ but everything would be okay the end and you guys would kiss and make up <3 and with hard-work and communication you guys both do everything to make sure this doesn’t happen again!

♡ post-revelations spence (dilaudid addicted spencer)

♡ technically still baby spence but not. he feels so much anger, confusion and guilt during this stage of his life with everything that happened with elle and gideon and now, his addiction.

♡ for the first time in his life, he reacts with anger, as we saw with emily.

♡ he’ll become snarky, and passive aggressive without ever telling you what’s made him like that in the first place.

♡ “obviously i’m fine, can’t you tell?”

♡ it will take you a lot of pushing, and a lot of little spats to actually get the cause of his upset and anger out of him

♡ but, when you get it out of him, some yelling and crying ensues. even if your interaction with whoever it was that caused him to be jealous was entirely innocent, he’ll be in denial at first but ultimately, you apologise for making him upset unknowingly and he apologises for his reaction to the situation.

♡ i imagine you’d spend the rest of the night on his comfy little sofa in his green apartment and watch a little movie with some chinese takeout, cuddling and laughing and gossiping snd whispering sweet nothings to each other.

♡ s5-9 spence

♡ he’s older, more mature, but also less scared of confrontation. i imagine he would walk up to you and whoever it is making him jealous and insert himself in the conversation literally just to be petty😭

♡ if you’re exclusive at this point an arm is 100% getting wrapped around your waist and he’s going to bring up some date night plans.

♡ “hey, we’re still going to dinner after this right? or do you just wanna stay in tonight, sweetheart? :))))))”

♡ you’re SO confused because he doesn’t really do that like, ever? and ESPECIALLY at work so you’re even more like?????

♡ when you ask he’s just like “just thought i’d see what you guys were talking about!!!😁”

♡ although, he will eventually admit himself that he was a tad jealous BUT! that he had reason to be! that guy was all over you! (even if he actually wasn’t)

♡ you guys talk it out a bit, but it’s mostly just jokes and you teasing him for getting jealous and you definitely still go out for dinner that night :)

♡ older spence (Pre-Prison)

♡ honestly, he is significantly more secure. i think a lot of people feel that spence is perpetually insecure simply because he’s awkward, but at this point in time, he KNOWS people find him attractive.

♡ awkwardness≠insecure

♡ he absolutely wouldn’t be happy that someone was flirting with you, but he isn’t going to make a scene or grow angry.

♡ he trusts you to put a stop to it with yourself

♡ and when you do (because obviously you would, why would you want some rando when you currently have the good doctor?), a proud, cheeky little smile makes its way onto his face.

♡ in all honesty, i believe he’d even make a joke or two.

♡ “oh, what about your other boyfriend?” he’d say with a little snort

♡ you’re both very secure and trusting in this relationship so there’s no need to kiss and make up afterwards, because there was never a problem in the first place!

♡ this spence would only ever grow upset if whoever it was was very obviously making you feel uncomfortable!

♡ THEN he would go crazy. as in just a tad annoyed and worried for you. he’d approach, again not causing a scene, and make an excuse to allow you both to exit the situation!

♡ post prison spence

♡ after everything, he’s insecure again.

♡ not about you, he still trusts you of course, but he feels insecure in the sense that he feels unsafe

♡ that he could lose everything in the blink of an eye, and no one would be there to bail him out this time.

♡ therapy is helping him but only so much.

♡ i feel that he would feel a mixture of anger and sadness.

♡ sadness because someone is trying to take you from him, and anger because he can’t believe someone would even TRY to take you away from him.

♡ thankfully, with age and his therapist, he knows to communicate this. so he doesn’t hide it, but that doesn’t make it any easier for him.

♡ he requires comfort, a distraction.

♡ just be with him :)

[rafesapologist]

the setback ─ rafe cameron; part sixteen

summary: it's been two years since your departure from the outer banks and rafe cameron has seemingly convinced himself that he can go on with his life as if you never happened, except now more than ever his addiction is at an all time high. whether he was snorting lines of cocaine at wild parties or drowning himself in alcohol to numb the pain, rafe couldn't escape the memories of you. despite his efforts to bury his feelings, your absence lingered like a shadow, haunting him at every turn. meanwhile, you've been navigating life outside the outer banks, trying to carve out a new path for yourself. but no matter how far you've traveled, the memories of rafe cameron still linger in your heart, leaving you with a sense of unfinished business. as you find yourself facing new challenges and opportunities, you can't help but wonder if fate will eventually bring you back to the place where it all began.

warnings: drug use, alcohol, plot twist

author's note: okay i have to admit i havent sat down and wrote in awhile so pls forgive any errors, love u all

The following days felt rather protracted for Rafe since your sudden egress that morning at the Cameron's residence. His father was still absent as usual, likely plotting some sort of reprisal for the threats Rafe had made at the dock since it was unlike him to let such a thing go that easily. Truthfully, Rafe couldn't have cared less about whatever vengeance his father was brewing in his depraved mind, he could only seem to think about one specific thing as if his thoughts were a record that only had one track to play. You.

The hypothetically 'reasonable' thing to do would be to reach out to one of your friends, but knowing them, they'd glue their mouths shut before giving away where you were to him. But aside from the Pogues, there was really no one else to go to for answers besides them. Rafe knew you had a tumultuous, basically non-existent, relationship with your parents, therefore they'd be rendered no use in the search for you. Every option seemed to lead to a dead end for him, seeing how you kept your circle of friends diminutive and your family disconnected. It was practically impossible to find you.

Rafe realized he had made a mistake showing up unannounced when you had returned to the island, and that it had nearly drove you to despise him even more than you did before. He couldn't make the same mistake again, not when your view of him was now dimmed and tainted by the allegations that he was out to destroy you and your friends. The relationship between you and Rafe was more fragile than ever, and Rafe wondered if the situation itself was enough to diminish any chance he had of being with you again.

It felt like a cruel joke was being played on him. He finally had you back after two years of longing to see your face again outside of a chipped pixelated phone screen, an agonizing wait that was worth every minute of affliction he endured while you were gone. But now, it was like the past was repeating itself, a horrid nightmare that haunted Rafe like a bitter old friend.

Rafe did the only things he knew to do to cope with your disappearance—coke and parties. Like retracing the steps on a well-worn path, every turn feeling like deja vu with every line he inhaled. Sure it didn't make him forget about you, but it sure did make the pain more manageable.

"Damn Rafe, I haven't seen you rage this hard since your dad tried kicking you out last year," Topper's drab tone rang through Rafe's ears, although fortunately for him, his friend was far too high to pay it any mind.

Rafe responded with a half-hearted chuckle while he carelessly bent back down to the table to inhale one last line of the white powdered substance before him. He breathed it in with an ease only a seasoned addict could do, a shameful talent he acquired in an attempt to mend his affliction.

"Yeah, well," Rage shrugged, wiping his nose of residue, "he's good at bringing that side out of me."

Topper's brows furrowed at the remark, feeling as if it was a subtle hint at what Rafe was going through. It would only make sense if Ward had been the reason his son was becoming a full blown addict again, since Rafe held his father's words to a much higher degree than anyone else's.

"Hey, why don't we lay off for a bit and get some drinks?" The blond added, a pang of worry coursing through him at Rafe's flushed and disoriented complexion, his pupils dilated to the max.

With droopy eyelids and a gaunt look on his face, Rafe's hazy gaze met Topper's with a faint smirk present across his lips, "Yeah, I could use another drink." He slurred while he gave his friend an inept pat on the shoulder before wandering off to the bar.

As he strode through the crowd of people, Rafe's usual posh appearance was replaced with disarray. His hair had fallen into uneven tufts, his face pallid and streaked with sweat. His azure colored eyes were glossy and unfocused, darting around the room with an unsettling lack of coordination. His typical arrogant, assertive demeanor stripped away by a slack-jawed, dazed expression. If it weren't for the fact that he was surrounded by a hundred other intoxicated people, perhaps someone would've been concerned by the way he looked.

The more steps he took, the more he could feel himself go in and out of consciousness. The loud, thumping music and flashing lights only heightened the symptoms of his high as he reached a euphoric state. The world around him was hazy and blurred but he felt a blissful peace as his once-racing thoughts suddenly went silent. It was the first time in days Rafe had felt anything besides grief and anger. Between you and his father, he felt like a burden under the scrutiny he faced by the ones who knew him best, and figured, maybe you two were right; maybe he was the problem.

Before he could reach the bar, Rafe felt a finger tap him on the shoulder, urging him to turn around. He sluggishly turned to face whoever it was, only to be met with disappointment at the sight of a familiar brunette standing before him.

"Holy shit, what happened to you?" Sofia looked in horror at the sight of Rafe's sickly complexion.

He rolled his eyes, annoyed by her comment, "What do you want, Sofia?" Rafe grumbled through his slurred speech.

"I.. came to say hi cause I thought I saw you across the room. Didn't expect to see you here," she replied hesitantly while she continued to observe his bloodshot eyes.

He scoffed at Sofia's remark, his voice dripping with a mix of anger and derision. “Haven’t you done enough?” he shot back, his eyes narrowing into sharp slits. “It’s bold of you to even come up and talk to me right now.”

Sofia’s eyes widened at the venom in his tone, her brow furrowing with a blend of hurt and frustration. “Look, Rafe, I know what I did and I’m sorry but—”

“No,” Rafe cut her off sharply, his voice like a jagged edge. “A bullshit ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to fix what you did. And besides, you should be apologizing to Y/N, not me.”

Her face fell, the weight of his words hitting her like a cold splash of water. “I know,” she said quietly, her voice trembling. “I made a mistake and I let my emotions get the best of me, Rafe. I was just so angry seeing you with her that I lost it.”

Rafe rolled his eyes, a harsh scoff escaping his lips. “I don’t give a fuck how you felt. You had no right shoving her into the pool like that. What if something worse happened to her? Then what? Your apology means nothing to me.”

Sofia's eyes filled with tears, her lower lip quivering as she struggled to hold back her emotions. “I didn’t think... I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was so caught up in my own pain and jealousy that I didn’t see how wrong I was.”

Rafe’s face remained a storm of anger and disappointment. “It’s not just about you and me anymore. It’s about her, and the fact that you let your anger turn into something so cruel.” His voice cracked slightly, betraying the depth of his frustration and helplessness.

Sofia’s shoulders slumped, her voice barely a whisper now. “I’m sorry, Rafe. I just… I can’t stand seeing you with her after all we went through together. You promised me forever.”

The words hung in the air like a heavy fog, muffling the chaotic noise of the bar around them. Rafe's face softened slightly, a mix of weariness and regret settling over his features. He looked at her, seeing the remnants of a pain he once knew intimately, but now felt so distant.

“Forever?” Rafe echoed, his voice rough with a blend of bitterness and exhaustion. “That was a long time ago, Sofia. Things change. People change.”

He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, the weight of the situation pulling him down. “What we had is over. I’m with her now, and you forcing yourself into this situation only makes things worse. I need to focus on fixing what’s broken.”

Sofia’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she shook her head slowly. “I know it’s over. I just didn’t want to be forgotten like this, to be left behind so easily.”

Rafe's expression hardened again, a wall of frustration rising between them. “It’s not about forgetting you,” he said, his tone sharp but tinged with a hint of sorrow. “It’s about moving forward. I’m trying to make things right for her, for us. But right now, all I see is a mess that needs fixing. And you’re only adding to it.”

Sofia's plea cut through the din of the bar, her voice cracking with desperation. “Please, Rafe, I only want what’s best for you. Please don’t shut me out like this.”

Rafe hesitated, his hand gripping the edge of the bar as he struggled with his own conflicted emotions. He turned back to face her, his eyes weary and clouded by the weight of everything that had transpired.

“Best for me?” he repeated, his voice hollow. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me, Sofia. You had your chance, and you made your choices."

Sofia's face hardened, a steely determination replacing the remorse in her eyes. "Then I’m sorry for what’s going to happen, Rafe. I truly am."

Rafe’s brow furrowed, his inebriated mind struggling to grasp the gravity of her words. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, a chill creeping into his voice as he sensed the shift in her demeanor.

Sofia’s expression grew somber, her tone taking on a more serious, almost threatening edge. "I was going to tell you that your dad came to me and offered me a proposition. If I did something for him, he’d pay me a large sum. At first, I wanted to reject his offer, come to you, and do the right thing. But seeing how you reacted tonight... I really need the money, Rafe. I’m sorry."

The words hit Rafe like a sledgehammer. His heart pounded violently in his chest, the alcohol-induced fog momentarily lifting as fear and anger surged through him. “What did he ask you to do?” he demanded, his voice sharp and urgent.

Sofia’s gaze dropped to the floor, guilt and fear mingling in her eyes. “I can’t say,” she whispered. “But it’s something that could hurt you and... someone you care about. I didn’t want to, but I’m desperate, Rafe. I’m sorry.”

Rafe felt the room spin as his mind raced. The reality of Sofia’s admission was like a brutal awakening, the weight of his father’s manipulative schemes crashing down on him with full force. He took a step closer, his face inches from Sofia’s, his voice a low, dangerous growl. “No, Sofia. You aren’t going to touch her. I swear to God, if you do—”

The threat hung in the air, taut with menace, each word charged with a volatile mixture of fear and fury. His fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white, the intensity of his emotions almost palpable.

Sofia’s eyes widened, her fear evident as she recoiled slightly from the raw intensity in his gaze. “Rafe, I—I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m just... trapped. I didn’t know it would come to this.”

Sofia’s shoulders slumped under the weight of her decision, her eyes squeezed shut as if to block out the gravity of her choices. “Sof, don’t do this,” Rafe pleaded, his voice raw and desperate. “You don’t have to do what he says. No amount of money is worth this.”

Her head shook slowly, each movement punctuating the anguish on her face. “I didn’t mean for it to come like this,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “But I already made the deal. So now it’s either my life or hers, and I have to look out for myself, Rafe.”

The words struck Rafe with the force of a physical blow, his heart clenching painfully at the realization of the desperate position Sofia had put herself in. The intensity of his feelings for you surged anew, a fierce protectiveness that burned in his chest. “You’re choosing your own safety over someone’s life,” he said, his voice trembling with a mix of anger and heartbreak. “You know what that makes you?”

Sofia’s gaze remained fixed on the floor, her tears tracing a path down her cheeks as she wrestled with her torment. “You have no idea what it’s like to live like a Pogue, Rafe,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “This is my only chance to have a second chance at a better life for myself. And if this is what it takes, then… so be it.”

Her words cut through Rafe like a knife, the raw pain and desperation in her voice mingling with the weight of her choices. He could see the conflict etched into her features, the inner struggle between her dire circumstances and the moral cost of her actions. It was a choice born out of desperation, not cruelty, and the complexity of her situation only deepened his own anguish.

Rafe took a step closer, his voice soft but resolute. “I get that you’re in a tough spot, but you don’t have to sacrifice your own humanity to escape it. There’s always another way, Sofia. We just have to find it.”

Sofia shook her head, her eyes still lowered, as if the weight of her decision was too heavy to bear. “I wish I could believe that,” she murmured. “But right now, this is all I see. I’m sorry, Rafe. I never wanted it to come to this.”

Rafe’s voice trembled with desperation as he reached out to Sofia, his eyes pleading. “Sofia, I can’t let you do this. Just tell me where she is, please. I’ll do anything.”

Sofia’s shoulders sagged further under the weight of his plea. She looked at him with a mixture of anguish and resignation, the fight in her fading as the reality of his desperation sank in. She took a deep, shuddering breath, her resolve crumbling in the face of his earnestness.

“I… I can’t,” she said softly, her voice cracking. “It’s not that simple, Rafe. I’m bound by the deal, and if I break it, there’s no telling what might happen to me—or to you.”

Sofia’s eyes were heavy with the burden of her choices, her face etched with torment as she looked at Rafe. She could see the raw desperation in his eyes, the plea for her to help you cutting through the veil of her own fears and guilt.

“Rafe,” she began, her voice trembling, “I know you’re begging me, and I wish I could give you what you want. But I can’t jeopardize my life like this. You don’t understand—”

Before she could finish, Rafe cut her off, his voice strained with emotion. “I don’t care about your life right now, Sofia. I care about hers. You know what you’re doing is wrong. There has to be another way.”

Sofia’s gaze softened momentarily, tears brimming in her eyes. She took a deep, shuddering breath, struggling to keep her composure. “I can’t tell you, Rafe. I’m sorry. I... I have to go.” She turned away, her footsteps echoing with the weight of her decision, leaving Rafe with a suffocating sense of dread and urgency.

As she walked away, Rafe stood rooted to the spot, the last remnants of his resolve dissolving into an all-consuming fear. The finality in Sofia’s voice was a harsh reminder of the time slipping away, the enormity of his task pressing down on him like a relentless storm.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

taglist: @rrosiitas, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d, @gillybear17, @oiiviagrande, @hockeybabe87,

@augustlikesdeath, @wpdailyminimeta, @palmwinemami, @loxleys-blog, @ikisscline, @flyestvenustrap, @ilovesteveharrngton, @ijustwanttoreadlols, @fastlovela, @wickedlovely121, @fals3-g0d, @givemylovetoall, @lucfics, @briefwinnerpersonaturtle, @maybankslover, @peachy4u2, @hockeybabe87, @yeosxxx, @zizouu23, @h34rtsformilli, @maybankslover, @yawnzshit, @rubixgsworld, @tsumudoll, @nosebeers, @literatureluster, @wearemadeofstardust0

[lucakaneshiroswife]

!- RANDOM SHU YAMINO HC’S -!

Warnings: suggestive content

Genre: NSFW

Word count: 610 words 3,228 characters

Published: 4th September . 23

! Minors and Blank blogs DNI !

"How can you be this pretty...?"

Regardless the way that our darling sorcerer presents himself to be, he actually has his needs, and they are a little intense. And so, like any other person, he always makes sure to appropriately care for those needs both when you are present and when you are not.

While Shu may not be straightforward with what he wants all the time, he still does have his moments where he just cracks. Although usually he finds it easier to just simply take care of his own ‘problem’ alone, which does often lead to you happening to stumble by when he is in the process of relieving himself.

When that happens, prepare yourself because you will end up on your knees between his legs as he sits in his gaming chair, fingers tangled in your hair urging you to keep sucking him like the good girl you are <3

Shu has a very obvious fixation on your face, the way you look just drives him insane especially during these moments. You always look so pretty for him and he frankly has no idea how you manage it with your hair sticking all over your face as you sweat, your eyes glossy and lips parted from just how much he pushes your limits. He has to admit that this obsession of his is one of the reasons he would suddenly thrust up into you, watching closely for your reaction with his usual smirk looking even more attractive as he does so.

Positions that allow him a full view of your face are everything for him. If there is anything he loves more than you then it will probably have to be the way you suck him, and trust me, he isn't shy to admit that. The way your warm mouth feels around him just makes him crazy, don't even get me started on the way you look while doing it, he is addicted to it.

Shu finds so much joy when he gets to incorporate toys into your intimate moments. After all, you do need to feel good while you make him feel good, it's only fair that way. Perhaps that's the only time he'd be 'fair' with you, and even then he makes sure to overstimulate you to see how much you can handle from a mere toy, surely you won't disappoint him right?

Despite his kind-hearted nature, Shu can and will be dominant. He loves being in charge and exploring different kinks that you both have. He is more than open to experimenting, he doesn't shy away from a new experience if it's with you~

Remember the part where he is not only an amazing sorcerer but also an amazing gamer? Yeah well if you didn't then it shows with the way he uses those hands of his. His touch is electrifying, setting your body on fire, he knows just how to tease and please. Making you beg for mercy but pant for more.

While Shu may not be the most vocal person in the bedroom, when things get heated and he approaches that sweet climax he does end up breathing up your ear, whispering nothing but absolute filth varying from how criminally tight you are around him to how good you are being for him.

Shu knows the importance of aftercare, especially after putting poor little you through so much. Don't worry he will take care of you, clean you up, bring you a cup of water or even strawberry milk before you find him wrapping his arms around you, whispering words of affection and love into your ear while kissing over the marks he left on your body <3

A/N: Yes I know I haven't posted in two months but I am back and I hope to finish doing this for ALL of Luxiem while the creativity is still there. I am just as thirsty and starved as you are. NOT PROOFREAD

ART CREDITS: I couldn't find the @ at all, lmk if you know them.

[letternotekisses]

GAHHHHH THE LAST REAPER ONE HAD MY EYES PISSING FOR SOME REASON!? Love the nsfw slowburn and angst from that one. Can I kindly request for more?c:

Also cuz I don’t think I have seen that before on your blog could we get maybe a Bw!Gabe version with miss sunshine assistant this time?c: If u dont do the older timelines i would be also happy with grumpy reaps<3 love ur writing style btw u write all of the man so well wtf I’m addicted 😭

(18+mdni) anon u cutie<3 im hungover and gave my hand a try at bw reyes for the 1st time so im so sorry if its bad!

Reyes figured you were a plant, at first.

A little spy sent from Jack to gather up parts of intel that the golden boy of Overwatch could stick his nose into, to publicise the parts Reyes would rather stay hidden. And it was just like Morrison to send him someone so sweet and unassuming under the pretence of 'extra help', someone who'd bring him coffee with no complaints and organise his files with a smile. Someone to take some of that weight from his shoulders. It took a long time for Gabriel to even look in your direction at first, and even longer for him to start giving you any tasks.

(Although, that was partly your own doing. You'd stormed into his office one day when you were assured that he had no more meetings, jabbing a finger into the solid wall that was chest as you heatedly told him off over his flippant treatment towards you. Where Gabe then realised you were in fact not a honeypot, and rather just a very passionate young woman who wants to do her job. He let you chastise him until you were panting softly, where he then calmly asked you to make him a coffee, which had you thanking him in a tone almost too aggressive to be anything other than exasperatedly pleased. It was a slow start, but a start nonetheless.)

As much as he hated it, Gabriel soon came to rely on you for things. You knew every aspect of his schedule, knew how dark he took his coffee and even knew how to handle Genji and Cassidy when they started another stupid bet that had the vein in his forehead ready to burst. Gabe had become sickeningly attached to your presence at his side, clipboard in hand and an excited lilt in your voice for the day ahead. So bright eyed and bushy tailed it made him run hot with want and sick with guilt because he feared that Blackwatch would ruin you, and yet, he didn't want you to go.

And the threat of Jack plucking you back up and off to Overwatch still looms over him thickly like a storm cloud, has him drawn tight and stiff with uncharacteristic stress because he knows its something Jack can hold over his head, something he'd beg for like a dog, too.

You're too good for him and Reyes knows it. Too soft, sweet and kind compared to someone like him who runs with fire in his blood and stress hard wired in, and yet you're always there to pick up the pieces in a way that's well past professional. Letting him fuck your throat and use your mouth in in one of the many storage closets littering the hallways, in a slow stretch that makes pretty tears glitter in your eyes and has him whispering through grit teeth about how much of a good girl you are for helping him melt away some of that stress. Has him holding your hair back in a firm and tender grasp, thumbing your forehead like you were lovers.

In which, a part of him would like to be. He'd like to bring you back to his bed and tell you between breathy whispers that he loves you. To promise a ring around your finger between each slow thrust that has you gasping into his tan skin, scratching at his weathered back and whimpering his name. You're his in every way but that and it eats him from the inside out, tears his heart out his chest and eats it right in front of him because Gabriel knows he can't tether you to a man like him.

A man that isn't quite so human, something's hollow and missing and he plugs it with anger so white-hot that it fries him up inside. Time is running out and you know you're in danger by his side but you do it anyway. Gabriel knows that losing you means the world will have to burn and it makes something dark and smoky billow in his chest.

And after the Venice incident, he starts to feel that heat creep up behind him.

[max1461]

Two takes I see that don't make much sense are as follows:

From SWERFs, "sex work is exploitative to women, therefore it should be illegal".

From pro-lifers, "abortion is exploitative to women, therefore it should be illegal".

Never mind that the pro-life argument which says that abortion is exploitative to women doesn't make sense on its own. The more essential point is: if some group is being exploited by a given practice, you want to solve that by criminalizing the activities of the exploited party? That just seems odd; it's unclear how that is supposed to help. "Sorry, we're here to arrest you for getting exploited". What is the logic here?

For my own part, I think that sex work probably is exploitative most of the time, but I can't imagine that making it illegal and forcing it underground helps much with this. Sex work is still widely practiced even in places where it isn't legal, this much is obvious enough, and the illegality impedes effective strategies of combating exploitation such as unionization, which is an imperfect but extremely powerful tool, tried and true in a wide variety of industries.

I know that SWERFs resist comparisons of sex work to other industries, but their arguments mostly seem to focus on the idea that sex work is uniquely harmful to practitioners and never really seem to answer the substantive question of why the tools developed to combat exploitation in other industries should not be expected to be useful also to the sex worker. I think this is because they are guided by this feeling that all discussion of mitigating exploitation is small potatoes, since sex work is so harmful that it should not exist at all. But even if this is true, that is clearly not a feasible situation to bring about via criminalization, as the widespread practice of sex work even where it is illegal should make obvious! It's like these people are more interested in officially registering their viewpoint that "sex work should not exist" (giving it legal codification and therefore legitimacy) than they are in actually reducing real exploitation in the real world. For a comparison: I think heroin addiction should not exist, but I do not think that throwing heroin users in jail is probably the best way to achieve this, nor do I think that it constitutes particularly just treatment of said heroin users!

I guess this is the same conversation that the left has been having with the right about drug decriminalization and harm reduction for many years. You need to make an argument better than "this thing is bad, therefore it should be illegal". That's like, a child's understanding of how the law should work, it's more complicated than that.

Now I will say that I know that there exist people out there who do sex work and enjoy it, and do not consider themselves exploited, just as there exist drug users (although probably not heroin users) who enjoy it and either are not addicted or are addicted but view this as an acceptable trade-off. To these people I say that I do not have any interest in telling you how to run your lives, and if you genuinely do these things voluntarily I think that is fine and good. You are also my allies on this front. I think that very probably the majority of sex workers are exploited, and very probably the majority of hard drug users are trapped in a vicious cycle that they would be better off escaping from, and in policy discussions around these issues I think these concerns should take highest priority. Still, though, if you just have some deep passion for fucking people for money or whatever, a priori I desire a world in which you can do that; my discussion of sex work as something to which harm reduction is a reasonable sociopolitical approach should not be construed as opposition to your ends.

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

Hey, would you be able to do a Sinclair brothers saving a child reader from a bad family and raising them themselves? Like the kid would be kinda timid but maybe warm up to lester first? Could they also know about what goes on in Ambrose but just kinda shrug it off for some reason? If you write this THANK YOUU!!

Wrote. This also kind of became a character study.

Warnings: murder, blood, mention of negligence from reader's parents. Mention of addiction, arguing. Ooc maybe?

Relationship: platonic, brotherly/fatherly figure.

Sinclair brothers x child! Reader from a bad family!

Preview; how it all started. You can skip this if you'd like, might get boring.

Nothing hits harder than an angry car drive with your family who has curtains with printed sunshine and glitters hung on their windows for people to see.

Sinking back into your seat as you watch them argue almost endlessly. The only times they weren't yelling in each other's faces were when they were sleeping or in public. Of course this results in negligence and the incapability to provide you both physical and emotional needs.

"Maybe if you stopped indulging in your disgusting addiction and acted like a proper father and husband we wouldn't be-"

"Oh for fuck's sake, M/N! Stop bringing that up or else I'm gonna fucking turn this car around, you slut! You think you're so perfect, tell that to the other men you've been sleeping with!"

Spending nights behind your bedroom door with your ear pressed against it, listening closely in case things get physical and you need to step in. You didn't even know why they were heading this way, apparently they thought it'd be a good idea to spend some 'family time' together. As if.

Eventually the car stopped, you perked up. Your parent's bickering died down for a moment which appeared odd to you.

"The car broke down, goddammit!" Your father exclaimed.

"You should've brought a better car." Mom retorted.

"We don't have enough money!!"

"And why do you think that is!?"

You sighed and followed shortly after both of them headed out. Shutting the car door close as you stood quietly while your father opened the trunk.

"Now I have to fix this damn car."

Their voices slowly drowned as you zoned out, you looked ahead of you and saw a man with a green hat with a beige jacket on top of a white tank top. He looked a little... Unwashed.

"Hey there!" The man called out which caused your parents to stop yelling.

"Are you three lost?" He asked, now getting closer.

"Well- more sort of the car broke down. And.. We're out of fuel" Your mother replied with a nervous chuckle.

"Really? In that case, I could let you guys in my truck and drive you to Ambrose. It's a small town but I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for in there."

"Might be a tight fit, but it'll work."

You could see the hesitation in both your parents' faces. Of course, they weren't really the type to accept the presence of people who didn't look like they have a hygienic and healthy lifestyle but they were left with no choice. They reluctantly agreed.

"M' name's Lester." The man who you now knew as Lester said.

"Uh, my name's F/N. Thank you, Lester, in advance." Your father thanked Lester.

Now you three were in his car, you had to sit on your mom's lap, it was deed quite a tight fit. Your parents weren't expecting the rotten smell and especially not the hanging bones but they pretended it didn't bother them. You ignored the smell and instead admired the 'decorations'.

"So uh, who's your wife and kid?" Lester asked, glancing at both your mom and you.

"I'm M/N and this is our child, Y/N. Say hi." Your mom nudged you and you smiled uncomfortably.

"Hello, Mr. Lester."

Lester only chuckled, although he kept his eyes on you a little longer before reverting his gaze to the road. "You have a beautiful family, I'm envious. It must be nice, huh?"

Your parents shared glances before agreeing.

"It is, I'm really grateful to have them in my life." Your father said. You could've laughed. You looked at him and noticed a knife in a knife sheath on his thigh. He noticed and took out the blade.

"Kid, you like knives?" Lester suddenly asked you, and your parents tensed up.

"I do-"

"I'm.. Trying to get y/n away from sharp objects. It's dangerous for them." Your mother cut you off with wariness in her tone, her distrust growing more by the minute.

"It's a bowie, a good knife... It'll cut through anything."

He said and stabbed the knife into the car dashboard and then abruptly stopped. You yelped out a little and held onto your mom as to not chuck yourself through the window.

"You... You said there's a town nearby, where is it?" Your dad asked, grabbing onto the seat.

"There is, right around that bend. I gotta flip my hubs into four-wheel. Mind giving me a hand?" Lester said as he opened the door and stepped out of the car.

"Look, I think you've done enough for us, Lester." Your father said.

"... Well, why would you think that?" Lester scoffed a little, sensing a bit of hostility.

"We wanna walk from now on, okay? I can't handle being in here. Just let us out." Your mother replied with a harsher tone, a look of offense settled on Lester's face and he frowned. A clear thick atmosphere now forming in the air.

"Uhh, we're really grateful but we don't want to trouble you anymore. Thank you." You spoke up, hoping to de-escalate the situation. He looked at you and for a moment his face softened slightly before glancing up at your parents again.

"Sure..." He said quietly, taking the blade off the dashboard and shutting the door. Now walking towards the other side of the car. You could feel the nervousness from both your parents – as he reached the door and opened it, their eyes landed on his left hand. Which was now missing the knife.

"Go on, get out then..!" He said although the anger was directed more to your parents. They quickly got out of the car, your father was the first one trying to calm him down – you noticed a stream in front of you, you looked back to make sure they were busy and decided to discreetly cross through with the help of the rocks, wanting to no further be near all this.

As you entered through, you could see houses and posters around. It was a ghost town though.. There was barely anyone. You walked around and saw a bunch of puppies behind a big glass window. You stopped and walked up to it, observing the small animals with adoration before a gruffy voice behind you snapped you out of your tranquil.

"What the hell is a kid like you doin' here?" A tall man asked with suspicion, looking down at you. You took in his outfit. A hat that said 'sweet bird 69' with a picture of a red car underneath. Dark blue shirt along with jeans.

"Uhm.. Me and my family are here for a trip.." You said quietly, backing away a little.

"And where's your parents?"

"I- they should be here..."

"Should?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes.

Then he looked behind you and before you could turn around you felt a firm grasp on your shoulder from behind.

"Y/n! what the hell did i-.. What did I say about walking away, sweetie. You had us worried." Your mother softened her tone as she caught herself, clearing her throat as your father came beside her.

"It's alright... What brings you here?- I'm Bo." He extended his hand to your father who shook it.

"I'm F/N, we were running low on fuel and our car broke down."

"Oh that's perfect, I run a convenience store a few feet away. You can... Keep your kid in my car. Just in case they get tired."

Your mother glanced at you before nodding.

"Yes, thank you. That'd be perfect."

You were carelessly shoved into Bo's car by your parents. Grumbling and sighing, you crossed your arms and begrudgingly sat still. Though something in the distance caught your eye. A big building – you looked out of the car of the window to check your surroundings before quietly opening the car and heading towards the building.

You looked at the big words on top of the door,

'HOUSE OF WAX'

"Hm." You opened the door and stepped inside, your eyes widened a bit as you took in the contents inside the 'house'. Many, many sculptures... Wax sculptures. You gently traced your fingers over them while admiring the beauty and art – Slowly walking into the kitchen. You saw more sculptures, this house was full of them. Looking around more you caught sight of baby chairs behind the door – disturbingly enough , hand and ankle straps on the one that said 'Bo' and a normal one that said 'Vincent'.

You turned around and a figure with long dark hair and a weird mask of some sort was outside the kitchen window. You gasped and it swiftly retreated back – having no idea whether or not you were hallucinating you breathed out and tried to calm yourself down. Hesitantly walking out of the house. You concluded you were smart enough not to investigate and made a run to Bo's car.

Huffing as you shut and locked yourself inside. Maybe you were tired, all this new stuff is making you see things. You should sleep – laying down on the seat, you nervously closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths. 'Mom and dad will wake me up when they're done.'

You opened your eyes and it was dark... It was dark. Where are mom and dad? Did they leave you? Forget about you? Your stomach churned and you unlocked the car door. Stepping out and feeling the cold breeze of the wind – so quiet.... Too quiet.

You walked, in search of your parents. There was what seemed to be a church not too far with the lights on. You could check it out? Approaching towards the church, standing right outside of the door and peeking in through the crack. There was that man from earlier, Bo, and... Dad? You squinted your eyes, Bo held something in his hand.

You jolted as your dad out of nowhere let out a blood-curdling scream, blood pouring from his head and running down his face and clothes. He cried out and grunted, trying to crawl away from Bo while sobbing. Holding his head as red that almost appeared black seeped from between his fingers escaped. Bo didn't let him get far, gripping onto your father's collar as he swung the weapon against his head one more time resulting in your father completely collapsing. His eyes rolled back as the slit in his forehead looked inches deep.

You gulped and backed away, quite frankly you couldn't care less if your father was getting killed. But maybe you shouldn't be here- you yelped out as hands grabbed onto your arms, instinctively thrashing against whoever was holding you. Looking behind you stopped momentarily, it was the masked guy! You couldn't see anything behind those empty holes where his eyes should be. And quite frankly - you're not sure if he wants to harm you or not.

Bo, who upon hearing your cry of surprise, quickly rushed out of the church and slammed the doors open. Stopping in his tracks as his eyes trailed down to you.

"Vinny, what are we going to do with them?" Bo asked with uncertainty. Vincent didn't reply.

As you didn't thrash anymore, Vincent loosened his grip but still held a firm grasp on you.

Bo sighed, "let's kill it."

At that, Vincent immediately shook his head and hugged you closer to him. Placing a hand over your head and pulling you to his chest gently.

Bo sighed again, a little more agitated this time. "Vincent, we can't raise a damn child. Nor the responsibilities! What if they try to run away and go to the damn police Or something?"

Vincent stayed stubborn and shook his head again. Bo exhaled and rubbed his face. "God dammit, you're so difficult."

End of story. life with them

Lester was quite happy to hear from Bo that they decided to keep you alive. Both brothers quite surprised, it's not the first time they had children come to Ambrose and get killed but none of them ever wanted to. And to hear Vincent of all people to initiate it was surprising, because normally he doesn't care about his victims. Vincent's cruel. Keeping his victims alive and all they could do is wait inside their wax bodies agonizing for death to come to them as their preserved bodies slowly rot overtime. He thought he knew his brothers – guess he was delightfully wrong. You first seemed so shy and timid – not really speaking unless you were spoken to and even then your responses were quiet and soft. He made sure to interact with you often, cracking jokes here and there and smiling a lot around you. 'Hey buddy, wanna go fishing?' Or 'Hey kiddo, wanna drive around for a bit?' It's mandatory. And the moment he noticed you warming to him first was the moment he realised how "hard work pays off" felt. He can't be around you a lot since he doesn't live in Ambrose anymore but he tries to visit more because of you – the sight of you smiling and running towards him when he comes back never fails to make his heart swell. Though he finds it a bit odd when you tell him how you feel about what happens here, he wonders if you're really telling the truth or lying so you can keep his guard down. He's cautious, he's friendly but he doesn't trust easily. You may be just a kid but he doesn't know if you're really not scared or you are and you're planning to escape. He loves you either way and tries not to think about it often, he just tells you and himself "Guess that means you're meant to be in this family!" (By the way he still hates your parents and his heart will ache for you when you open up to him about them.)

Bo couldn't believe this, really? He has to take care of a child?He just wanted to hand you entire to Vinny but the risk of you running away was too much for his insides to handle so he kept you on a close watch. He was tempted to put a leash on you but was stopped by Vincent. He doesn't see the appeal in raising a random kid, it would bring unnecessary trouble and responsibilities and make it harder for them. Or so he thinks. You weren't really troublesome at all you just kept your distance from him since he scares you. With this, he one day mentally himself on the cheek and decided to be more kind to you. Asking what you wanted for breakfast, if you wanted to shower, telling you not to go too far away from him etc. Eventually he finds himself doing more than just these, scolding you when you scrape your knees and putting a bandaid over it. Picking you up to help you reach stuff on the high shelves. He tries to convince himself he's only doing this for his brother's and his own sake – and yet he can't resist when you ask him to kiss your aided injuries because 'Grandma told me it heals better that way'. Think it's stupid Lester got you to warm up first. Yeah, it's only because he gives you sweets and takes you out whenever he pops in – and then next time Bo hands you a lollipop. Gets suspicious when you never bring up what he did with your parents. He expected you to hold the grudge against him, at least for a few months or years but no. He'll scoff if you tell him it doesn't bother you. Yeah, right. He's not stupid (just severe trust issues) he'll immediately assume you're trying to trick him and next time a tourist comes in you're gonna scream for help. Just be patient with him, he's had a rough childhood. Although the more days and weeks that pass by, the more he spends nights in his bed hoping you won't try to run away. Not because he's scared you'll snitch on them, but because he's scared that means they meant nothing to you at all. If you ever decide to open up to him about your family, he'll pretend it doesn't affect him as much as it actually did. To think you two had a similar childhood just makes his eyebrows knit together and his lips form into a frown.

Vincent himself didn't understand why he held you so protectively. But as the years grew, he felt himself yearn to cradle something in his arms. Something warm and small, something that'll smile up at him and giggle, something that isn't scared of him. He knew the moment he saw you through the window in that kitchen he couldn't let this chance slip – a chance to have a child. He feels so... Alone. The need to care for a living thing grows stronger. He tried his hardest, really. Tend to you and care for you. His touch was softer and he watched the old movies and read the stories of how people acted towards children so he could know how to not freak you out. And his heart broke a little when he saw that Lester was the one that you warmed up to first – but he didn't give up. 'Family don't give up on each other' was a quote he heard one time and stuck with him. Yes, he had already considered you as family. To make you like family, he had to treat you like one. Most of the time he gets frustrated because of his extremely limited vocabulary. It was difficult for him to speak and he knew that a child like you wouldn't be able to properly understand his body language like his brothers do, but when you do start to learn step by step he feels the glimmer of hope grow stronger. Is around you a lot and makes sure you're in his line of sight as much as possible. He feels guilty that you had to witness them do all these horrible things and tries to shield you away from it but if you confess you know and shrugs it off anyway it's a mix between surprise and suspicion. He wants to believe you, he does but what if you're lying? It's too heavy on his heart to bear – he can't. Gets more protective and overbearing and doesn't realise it'll most likely drive you off that way. But if you do start warming up to him he feels like the happiest and most content person alive. Will cradle you in his arms if you'll allow him and stroke your hair if you decide to open up to him – he may be a man of very little words but he listens like no else.

[aettuddae]

high garden academy — chapter 58.

⟢ synopsis: a new school year begins at the high garden academy boarding school, bringing with it new students, and among them, the new center of attention for the drama-thirsty student body: the hong sisters. eunchae and her mysterious and unsympathetic older sister, daein, who oddly seem uninterested in the secrets, legends, and gossip of their new school. winter, the institution's top student, and karina, the popular girl and promising pianist, never imagined they would end up so closely involved with hong daein.

masterlist | prev | next

[written chapter]

[a/n: i haven't updated in ages so if from now on there are profile pictures/anything that changes in any way, it's because i couldn't find the previous ones]

the yu's house was gigantic, more rustic and traditional than what daein expected to find. nowadays all the houses of families with money looked like hospitals, white floors and walls, little decoration, no life. daein didn't like that kind of residences, sometimes she considered she had an old soul, and it was partly because she felt more comfortable in places like that. the high garden building seemed extremely nice and cozy, although she hated being in there, it was like a big museum where you could also live, practically a dream. the yu's house also gave her that feeling, it even reminded her a bit of her own house, although it seemed less like a medieval vampire castle.

unfortunately, daein could not inspect the home as she would like, spending time on the details and the probably expensive antique decorations, her brain was having great difficulty functioning properly, she could not concentrate either on the scenario she was in or on the numerous questions she was being asked by the couple who owned the house, stammering out answers that almost sounded coherent that she put together with the little willpower she had left based on the few words she retained. karina was doing god's work completing her sentences and making sense of them, justifying her attitude by saying she was shy or nervous. all her attention was on her own body, on the headache that seemed not to have stopped for days, the sweat that had no reason to appear as it wasn't hot enough, the nausea that hit her from time to time making her inspect the place to identify the quickest way to the bathroom in case she had to vomit. of course, some of that could be caused by lack of sleep since she hadn't rested well in the past three days, and she didn't even feel like thinking about the heat that invaded her chest every time she had to suppress the urge to yell at karina to shut up since lately she couldn't stand anyone, least of all her, or having to avoid rushing the girl's father who spoke extremely slowly.

daein was a complicated person, bitter to say the least, but this was already getting out of hand. she was never someone who lost her patience so quickly, although it could be because of her physical discomfort which was also a particularity of this stage of her addiction.

but she didn't use strong substances, did it make sense for her to feel this way? maybe she was just sick.

of course it didn't matter because she had to stay sober for...

for some reason she couldn't remember.

jennie? this dinner? sehun? oh, eunchae. she had to do it for eunchae. was it for eunchae at all? why was she putting her body through this? nevermind, there had to be some good reason, it was probably for eunchae, wasn't it?

still, she did know why she couldn't think straight, one thing being karina's hand resting on her lower back as they both sat on an elegant sofa in a corner of a room specifically dedicated to tea. her other hand rested on her leg, while with the one her parents couldn't see the girl pinched daein's skin as if trying to wake her up or nag her for her erratic behavior. the younger one disguised her correctives with displays of love and hong was not fascinated by either.

"aeinie." she hated that nickname with all her might, but she still turned to look at her. "do you want to see the piano?" the girl's expression at the suggestion of that was somewhat frightening, like when as a child you got reprimanded by your teacher and she had to disguise the anger so as not to lose her friendly image, but only achieved a hybrid that scared you more.

"will you play for me?" she asked expressionlessly, she didn't know what the fuck was happening to her body, but that karina played the piano she did remember, idiot.

the blackhaired faked a tender expression, dropping her shoulders and her eyebrows, she moved closer, and gave a kiss on her cheek. "sure, i'll play something for you." she agreed, standing up and extending her hand to her.

"food will be ready soon, go and we'll let you know." announced the girl's father as daein grabbed onto her to get up, they both nodded slightly.

"what did you consume?" sentenced with a forceful tone the youngest whispering when they were already a little bit away from her family.

"nothing." she was at a loss, the words seemed to come out of her mouth at random.

"daein." she shot her an accusatory look.

"i didn't use anything." she reiterated. "that's why i'm like this." she explained after letting out a drawn-out sigh. "but it will pass." rather than trying to calm karina down, she seemed to be trying to convince herself.

she looked her up and down, finding the sweat on her neck and recalling having seen somewhere that this must be a symptom of abstinence, although she wasn't sure. because of the state she was in, she had no choice but to believe her. daein was usually lost and didn't make much sense, but at this moment she was worse, even anguished, anxious, which was rare to see in her. she hoped her parents hadn't noticed from across the coffee table.

without saying more, she walked over, leading her with her clasped hands, approaching the long, elegant brown grand piano with lines effect, there being some darker ones, indicating it was macassar ebony wood. karina took a seat first on the stool that was wide enough for daein to enter as well, so this one followed the younger girl's steps and sat with her.

"do you know anything about piano?" the expert inquired putting her hands on the keys and stroking some of them creating a vague ephemeral sound.

"my mom plays the piano." she commented, her eyes inspecting the instrument. "she's not professional or anything, but she plays sometimes."

"you appreciate your mom a lot." she observed.

"isn't that what all children do?" she said with obviousness.

"i guess." she cocked her head to the side as if that would help her think her words better. "my mom tends to get overshadowed by my dad's presence." she mumbled in fear of being overheard.

"i understand." agreed the older one. "mine too."

"i see we have something in common." she smiled sideways, victorious.

"unfortunately." she grumbled, grimacing in disappointment. "but she's still my mother, you know." she continued.

"no, of course, i know what you're talking about." she sat up in the seat. "if mom wasn't around i think i'd go crazy." she laughed softly.

"bonding with parents must be more complicated when you hardly see them during the year." daein assumed, turning her head to give her a look.

"yes." she shook her head accompanying the statement. "since i've been attending high garden since i was little, there are teachers i've seen more these past few years than my father." she admitted with a downcast attitude. "i'm sure most of my baby teeth are in some jar in teacher jeon's office." they both laughed at the image. "hey! i made you laugh!" celebrated the younger exalted girl.

"it doesn't count, i'm dying." she stopped her, causing her to pout.

silence fell over the place and before allowing it to become uncomfortable, jimin began to play a piece on the piano, her fingers strolling comfortably across the keys as if she had no bones to constrain her. it was a rather slow melody, but still complicated, daein watched her hands without understanding how someone so young could have such ease in playing such a complex instrument. it wasn't melancholic, it sounded like a summer ballad, positive, hong had no idea what song it was, but she was mesmerized, it was the first time all day she could pay attention to anything.

slowly karina's fingers paused as she played the last few notes until the lack of sound returned to the room, but far from discomforting, it represented a missing of words. daein hated wanting to compliment her on her talent, but she had to admit she had loved it.

"you're good." she criticized. "very good."

"it's one of the works i'm supposed to play at the korean music contest." she reported casually. "i should do well." she sounded a little pressured and it made sense, not just anyone was representing one of the most prestigious schools in the country in the most important national music contest among students. "did you learn anything from your mother?" she removed her hands giving daein room to play.

"little, actually." she directed her hands to the piano and hesitantly pressed several keys without much sense, according to the blackhaired she was trying to play a rather messy version of ode to joy.

realizing that she didn't remember what the song was like at all and noticing the horrified look on the pianist's face next to her, daein preferred to stop trying, generating some sympathy in the girl next to her, who with a confident smile stood up and walked to stand behind her, leaning a little until she could reach her hands, her chest resting against daein's back and their cheeks just a few inches away from brushing against each other. she positioned daein again on the keys and began to guide her so that at a leisurely pace, but not as awkward as before, she could play the song she had attempted.

what irony hong daein playing the ode to joy.

daein was using all her energies to focus, if there was something that moved her it was the need to complete things and do them well, and maybe that was one of the causes of her deep sorrow, not being able to do anything right in this last time of her life. she couldn't even stand the discomfort she felt at the lack of doping. she followed karina's indications as well as her condition allowed, failing in some notes, skipping others, but in general sounding as she should, which must have been all the responsibility of her puppeteer.

with some difficulty the song ended, a small smile on both faces, one out of pride at having completed the piece no matter how easy it was or how many mistakes she had made, and the other because she was distractedly enjoying the closeness with the older one. neither having noticed that they came even closer than before, completely entangled with each other, their cheeks pressed against the opposite, jimin's arms almost embracing daein from behind. the blackhaired moved her head slightly so that her nose could rub hong's cheek, closing her eyes to enjoy the fact that she wasn't moving away, nodding her head slightly up and down. she lifted her hands from the piano and used them to hold onto her neck completely, wrapping her in her grip.

daein let herself be carried away by the tender gestures, and leaned her head more and more towards her own shoulder, following karina's touch, her eyelids drooping and preventing her from seeing that this was the same girl who used to drive her crazy all the time. her face was predisposed to the younger girl, who now that they were facing each other was caressing her nose with her own.

after all daein was not in her five senses and was someone who would do anything for a simple token of affection,

so she didn't stop jimin when this one captured her lips between hers, slowly, delicately, more than a kiss it was caresses between their mouths, with trouble to detach, to cut the touch. karina always wanted more of daein, once she kissed her, she couldn't stop thinking about doing it again, so being like this with her felt fulfilling, and more exciting than kissing anyone else she'd ever done it with before.

she didn't understand why, but no one seemed to have such soft lips as daein, and no scent was as satisfying to be smothered by as daein's was. she was such a cruel person, she rarely showed any pity for her, but when she kissed her no one was as tender as daein.

needless to say, she was exaggerated and restlessly obsessed with hong daein.

their mouths were entwined, daein's hands had risen to hold and attend to jimin's resting on her collarbone, their tongues were just now wanting to meet, but they never got to. "jiminie, the food-" the housemaid suddenly came in interrupting them. "oh, sorry." she covered her cheeks in embarrassment with amusement on her face, the two younger girls looked at her uncomfortably, separating immediately. "the food is ready."

(!)

— taglist [open] : @yoontoonwhs @gayforalll @hwm1hyun @jisooftme @gornoi @eunhhh @petruchiosstuff @linnnsworld @xen248 @trueblumarinegf @rinapomu @imahallucination11 @thefckghost @myouiiiiiiii @blaymine @chaewoni3 @aliceiwk @gfriendsapple @sewiouslyz @multiliker @cwpiqwon @pandafuriosa60

[gingacat]

twisted from: Madame Adelaide Bonfamille

name: Asiel Douleure

birthday: September 20

age: 16

height: 167 cm

homeland: Shaftlands

grade: Freshman

club: Orchestral Music

hobbies: Playing with his cat

favorite food: Meringue

least favorite food: Caviar

talent: Composing

Personality

Asiel is an introverted boy who always seems to be lacking the energy to do anything and always presents a bored or apathetic face. He speaks in a tired but soft voice (i might make a voice claim for him later), and sometimes says words or expressions in French.

He doesn't seem to have any friends and most of the time he's alone, but honestly he is rarely seen in campus at all and only leaves his dorm to go to classes.

Asiel has difficulty in not only expressing his feelings or emotions, but also in identifying them. Most of the time, he doesn't really know what he is feeling, and when he is upset for example, he often doesn't know the reason behind it. The feeling he can identify with the most ease is anger, but it is rare to anger him, although when it happens it is very intense.

Behind his poker face lies a complicated boy with very complex feelings. Because he isn't really good with words and doesn't like talking, he expresses himself through playing the piano.

When he's feeling "weird" (anything that he can't identify, being negative or positive, especially anxious), Asiel plays the piano to either calm his heart or just let his frustration out. His compositions vary from sounding like "Clair de lune" by Debussy to this specific piano solo when he's feeling extra complicated. If it were for him to have a favorite piece, it would be "Lever du jour" from the symphony "Daphnis et Chloé", by Maurice Ravel.

There are a few times when he can be seen smiling or being genuinely happy, and that is when Asiel interacts with Duchess, his cat. He finds it very joyful to play the piano with her and even taught her how to play it (it sounds messy but Asiel is very proud of her pieces).

Background

Asiel is a genius composer and piano prodigy born into an aristocratic family. His family always provided him with everything he needed, to the point he grew up kind of sheltered, but even then, his family still wasn't close to him. His family is composed by his mother and his father, and everyone else were distant relatives that never really mattered in his life.

His parents were very emotionally distant from him: his mother would prefer to enjoy formal gatherings with her friends or to hang out with them, while his father was always working and never really established a deep connection with him. When his parents were home, they were barely interested in Asiel, though whatever Asiel asked for, his parents gave to him. The biggest treasure in Asiel's life happened when he was 7 years old, and it was when his mother brought home a kitten that would be known as Duchess.

Because of the constant pampering coming from fake people who were interested into the family's money and status, Asiel ended up becoming someone who doesn't like to talk or interact with people, and finds it very hard to connect or relate to them. Of course, while he dislikes interacting with others, he unfortunately still feels lonely (very lonely). Because of that, he developed an emotional dependency on his cat, the only companion he had since he was a kid. The only moment Asiel ever smiles is when he sees Duchess, and then his personality changes completely, otherwise he's just tired and apathetic towards everything.

Trivia

While it is allowed for students to bring their familiars to school, Asiel didn't take Duchess to RSA because he thought it would be dangerous and inadequate for her, so he's trusting on his parents to take care of her.

Asiel has an addiction to sugar and eating refined sweets or desserts always makes him happy.

Asiel hates caviar because it's something his parents are always eating, but it makes him disgusted.

His French slips out when he's angry and he refuses to speak at all when he's upset. He doesn't want to open up or to cry in front of anyone.

Asiel hates being forced to do anything, especially when he doesn't feel like it or if it conflicts with his moral compass, so he'll be stubborn enough to not do it no matter what.

He became the housewarden of his dorm solely for the purpose of not having to share his dorm room with anyone.

He loves cats the most, but he likes all animals, especially horses.

Asiel's dorm room would be like this: there's a painting of Duchess on the wall (his parents paid a professional artist for this), a very fancy piano, a luxurious bed and chandelier, and curtains that are always closed, since he dislikes the possibility of anyone invading his privacy.

[simplegeneral]

I had in my imagination what if old and young Burn met each other. The lack of any lore about the youth of them, or the her sisters annoys me.

And the little bit there is, they are no different than what they are now. Either violent, a mastermind or a fool. I prefer instead to imagine they were different from their nowadays self, beginning with Burn.

I imagine she was a carefree rebel girl. She was the perfect daughter Oasis wanted, joined the military quite soon, following the footsteps of her mother and father, but never truly learned real discipline, always hitting back comments at Oasis, especially when it hurted, The two early relationship was sore at best, with Burn hanging out with Scald and Singe more often than with her parents.

The arrival of Blister and Smolder gave Burn's first responsability in her life, and she took it at heart. Not understanding why Oasis hated Blister right after she came out of the egg, Burn did the most parenting of Blister, the two were really close in their youth, but grew apart as Blister revealed herself a more sinister and insane side, especially with the intention of murdering Oasis.

Around this time too, Oasis started to give Burn an odd trincket or two for her to study. Later she would realize this was simply Oasis playing her daughters to keep them at bay. Burn was really docile and non-bothersome when she was too focused at taxidermy. After Char's death of plague, Oasis grew ever older while Burn grew stronger, they both clashed more often and Oasis was afraid the power transition wouldn't be peaceful, but rather violent, she increased the weird creatures for Burn almost to an addictive degree on purpose, causing Burn to remain in a purposeful-induced docile state.

The family held together for a while, but in 4993 AS, the mysterious assassination of Oasis caused the immediate breakdown of it. Blister and Blaze fled, while Burn's brothers, all in a long military career as herself, remained with her. It was around this time, Burn begun to show an ever growing violence and cruelty, blaming Blister for Oasis' murder, she rampaged across the stronghold, murdering everyone who had even the slightest hint of disloyalty to her.

She had none of her mother's charisma, and failed to inspire the sandwings to her cause. In other words, she used fear and harsh punishments to keep them all in line, a brute force way that only worked as long as she was perceived as invincible, an image she was very keen in keeping.

In a twist of fate, Burn only escaped a mental prison of Oasis, to fall into another, this time of Scarlet's doing. The queen of the skywings had vast armies Burn could not possible afford to oppose it. She was muzzled like a rabid animal again, but this time, she felt little to nothing towards Scarlet, waiting incredibly patiently for the day she would rip Scarlet in two.

For years, the war went on, not necessarily to her favor, although the mudwing alliance improved the morale of her troops, half of the continent was under her alliance. Aroudn this time, talks about a prophecy and dragonets of destiny that would bring an end to the war started, she was swift to silence all such talks about "peace", instead instigating to the best of her abilities, victory.

She was dismissive of the DoD at first, but they soon proved a threat to her. Her lack of charisma and popularity proved her undoing as soldiers reasonated deeply with their message of peace. For twenty years they bleed, for twenty years of famine, disease and struggle, the end was not on sight, time and time again the "offensive to win the war" failed to do so.

Burn was at a crossroads, to admit the DoD and as a gesture of good will, hold a conference or... Win the war at any cost right now.

[cerezasefimeras]

Pretty (Problematic) Ladies

WC: 1.6k FEM!S62 + KAKUCHO, sfw. ⸺ Headcanons of the s62 as women, mainly general headcanons. CW: fem!izana, kakucho, mochi, muto, ran, rindou & shion. personal opinion, OOC characters (because i see both their canon version and their gb version different, so idc), kinda toxic behaviours in Izana & Ran parts. ALSO, the idols used are just to bring a clear image of how i see them, please don't make weird comments about the idols. Please tell me if I forgot something! English is not my first language pd: this is mainly general and safe headcanons, i obviously have more unhinge and nsfw hcs about them. I may post them on another occasion.

FEM!YASUHIRO MUTO.

— Hi, fem!muto is such an ethereal women. — Her name is Yoshino — She either would have pixie short hair or long straight hair, equally as beautiful with both of them. — Tall woman, like 175-7cm — She is that quiet and mysterious woman that is just so intriguing you need to know more of her. — Im sorry but chubby fem!muto is my whole reason of being, idgaf if he is canonically strong, this woman is chubby and so huggable. — I picture her wearing really yet feminine clothing, summer dresses are her favourite. — I imagine her also doing a lot of pen drawings when she is bored or has nothing else to do. — Makes AMAZING baked goods/bakery foods (idk the actual word) — Her fav season is autumn cause she loves the colours of the season. — Prefers tea over coffee although she knows how to make so many types of coffees. — She's a cutie as a girlfriend, would pamper you with cooking your favourite meals and with a lot of cuddles. — As a friend she that typical mom friend, always has the best advice, her purse is full of anything you may need. — Loves doing crocheting, she has made matching hoddies for the girls. — I fucking love her. — She speaks french. That's it. Its hot. — Her song is: Real Man - Beabadoobee — Similar idols: Miyeon (IDLE) & Jihyo (Twice)

FEM!RAN HAITANI

— Oh my sweet heaves. — THIS WOMAAAAAAAAN. — Listen, she dresses like old elegant woman, like those models that are dressed into elegant femenine styles THERE WAS A POST ABOUT IT, I LOST IT BUT I AGREE. (I may do a second part with pictures cause i want you guys to see my ideas clearly but yeah) — Im sorry but mean lesbian fem!ran is my religion. This woman is mean as fuck, spoiled and bitchy. (My type fr) — 175-7cm, she is hot, she's tall and she is LESBIAAAAAN. — Really sugar mommy vibes, she would spoil you rotten if you're really dear to her. — HER NAME IS RALEIGH, RALEIGH HAITANI. — Honestly, science girly. Really good at biology and physics. — Hyper feminine features and body. — Changes her nails set every 3-4 weeks. — Casually smokes, not an addict or anything but sometimes you can see her with red malboro in between her fingers. — Can be really condescending, not in purpose but she is the oldest sister that was made a mother to her little sister. — In bonten she has a short bob/bixie cut. — Wears a lot of delicate *gold* jewellery. — Her only relationship advice is break up. — In any other area, she is the best to ask for advice. — She loves do to her make-up. — Had a tarantula has a pet when she was younger... her sister fucking hate it when that thing was free to wonder around the mansion. — Really into fashion and modelling, that's her whole life. — Her song is: Carmen - Lana Del Rey. — Similar idols: Jinsoul (ex-LOONA, now ARTMS) & Doyeon (former WEKI MEKI)

FEM!IZANA KUROKAWA

— She is mean as fuck. She simply is just mean but to degrate and to be affectionate. — Dont get me wrong, she does care but she that doesnt take away to the fact she is mean. — Her name is Ivette! — Really basic yet cute style, a part of me thinks she would dress like an old japanese horror game protagonist the other believes she would not care that much about her fashion. — I full believe she is a big advocate for suicide awareness and bpd awareness. — ♡ Curly hair ♡, she loves to take care of her curls although sometimes she just wants to rip her hair off. — I kinda see her as a practice witch, like casually nothing too serious. — If you're dating her, a date to the aquarium would meant the world for her. — Baby face, hates it, but gosh she is adorable. — Cutie, she is between 1.49-151cm... yeah she also hates that. She will fight you if you make fun of her. — Honestly, sound cloud singer... her songs are like beabadoobee, laufey & mon laferte. She wishes to do a concert at least once. (She uses beats created by fem!rindou, yes sir.) — She has been cancelled on twt more time she can think of. — She has thrown a chair a someone before. — That someone may or may not have been mikey. — She WILL do it again. — Loves going to new places such as coffee shops. — Her song is: Hijo de la luna - Mecano. — Similar idols: Winter (aespa) & Eunha (former gfriend, now viviz)

FEM!MOCHIZUKI KANJI

— We love a good sporty masculine woman. — She def did volleyball at school. — Her name is Kaori! — I think she is like Kiyoko of highschool, full focused on sports and has no attention span to anything else. — About 1.72-4cm. — Streetwear !!!!, baggy jeans, jorts, dragon design. Yes. Yes. Yes. All for her. — She looks so intimidating but in reality she is a softie. — She can eat A LOT, is mostly due to the big amount of sports she does. Baby girl needs to be healthy. — Cannot wear jewellery to save her life, it always ends up broken or lost (same girl, same) — She still sleeps cuddling with a big bear plushie she got at the age of 12. — Makes the best barbecues, invite her to the family cockout right now. — Cannot explain this, but she is color blind. — Type of friend she woukd go to WARRR for u. Someone is making fun of you? This girl is about to break their face ♡ — Gives the best hugs. — Really good at swimming, loves summer sports although she is practice more often field sports. — The biggest fan of Megan Thee Stallion, argue with the wall if u disagree. — LOVES romcoms, the more cringy they're the best honestly. — Always has snacks on her bag. — Loves buzzing her hair out, its an actual addiction of her. — Her song is: Dopamine - Giselle. — Similar idols: Cocona (XG) & Giselle (Aespa)

FEM!SHION MADARAME

— Iconic weird girl, we love her. — So death note misa coded. — She is that alt, unique girl that was into evertyhing that was considered nerdy back then. — Her hair has oil spilt, racoon tail and crazy strokes. (Blonde hair, with orange strokes + chocolate brown racoon tail.) — Trashy slutty style & scene style. She knows what's good. — Average height, like 161-3cm. — Shiori!, Shiori Madarame... unless Madarame is her name then Shion Maemi. — Every year her spotify wrapper has bad doy nightcore version as n1 song. — Rave girly, (fem!rin usually goes with her) — She is so awkward and so adorable, guys i love my daughter. — She had a gacha life phase... — Fem!shion gives me bimbo vibes, seriously i fricking love her so much i cannot explain it. — If a creepy guy bothers you she WILL bark, like full on dog barking. Surprisingly good at it aswell. — She has a lot of tattoos, all made in a spontaneous urge. — Full no contact with her whole family. — The girls are her family. — She has either a chicken or a racoon as a pet, i also cannot explain this. — Her song is: boycott ver pleaseee favOriTe - LOONA (and because i cannot put that version here, extra song Yummy - Ayesha Erotica) — Similar idols: Hinata & Jurin (XG)

FEM!RINDOU HAITANI

— Oh my god, my wife guys, buckle up. — Renleigh Haitani, my woman. — Spoiled as fuck, baby of the family she blinks and gets what she wants. — Has a really specific type of man to date, will date any women if the lady breaths and is into her. — 162-165cm, yes, fem!ran loves to call her baby, small or tiny. — Really good dancer!, loves learning new dancing styles and learning the story behind them. (Mostly if they're cultural dances) — Nerd. Plays lots of video games, has lots of figurines of her favourite characters, addicted to gacha games. — Really good fashion style. She goes between mcloving, street wear & and a style similar to what Nana of nana... the black nana would wear, idk the name. — Wavy blonde natural hair. Currently she has it inspired in laguna blue of monster high. — She has a lot of glasses in different shapes & colours to match her outfits. — Yes, her nails set match her sister's nails set. — Also wears a lot of jewellery, does not have colours preference she just likes it chunky. — Has three cats. Rindou would be a dog person tho. — Really sporty, does a lot of sports and has such pretty figure thanks to it. — Has the wildest music taste, the song is good? Is her new addiction for the next month (same) — Her 'hear me out' is 9x9=81... i will not elaborate iykyk. — Crunchy grapes lover. — Her song is: Hot Mess - aespa — Similar Idols: Minnie (IDLE) & NingNing (aespa)

FEM!KAKUCHO

— Hi, her name would be Kiyoko. — This baby. Gosh, she is adorable. — She is around 172-5cm, she wishes she was shorter — She says a stray cat she ignores everything else to pet that adorable animal. — 'Loser trapped in a hot body' definition. — Baby, she is a softie with really chaotic friends. — Also has a baby face, dont let that foul you she WILL beat the shit out of you if you ask for it. — Her style changes often, she actually copies what her big sisters wear!, she is so inspired by them so it changes constantly. (Baby sister attitudes... me tbh) — Continuing with her lil sis behaviours, many of her hobbies also comes from the girls! Crocheting (fem!muto), exploring new places (fem!izana), fashion and modelling (fem!ran), video games (fem!rin), field sports (fem!mochi), going to raves (fem!shion). — She loves making bracelets for the girls!, its her way to show love for them. — Really soft with animals and children. — Loves apples, exactly red apples. My lord she could eat them for days straight. — Really good student, she lives for academic validation. — She was a selective mute for at least a year, she would only communicate with fem!izana. — Its SCARED to dye her hair for some reason, she believes she will end up bald as if she hasn't buzz her hair off for no reason before. — She may be quiet but she is not afraid of setting boundaries ans speaking up for herself and others. — She has a lot of plushies, all gifted by the girls. — Amazing friend, amazing girlfriend, amazing wife. — Loves snoopy! — Her song is: Right Now - NewJeans — Similar idols: Sullyoon (nmixx) & Tzuyu (twice)

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤcreds to: @cerezasefimeras

[gege-wondering-around]

Not Wednesday WIP

sweet @patolemus (love your work, you're such an amazing writer) tagged me and i was working on this little thing yesterday, so i thought it'd be good to share something of it rathen then my ongoing fic

He had opened the door, holding it with one hand, trembling on the door handle, and hiding the other behind his back while his eyes were filled with tears that didn’t want to fall; he wasn’t sobbing, he was just standing still looking down at the floor. Stiles immediately got worried, what if Derek wasn’t doing so well after all?

“Baby,” he had said that day of March, “what’s wrong?”

Derek didn’t hold his gaze and Stiles went in, staring at his eyes and searching for something that could tell him what was going on, but there was nothing, nothing that he could use as an indicator. Apart from the way he kept hiding one of his arms.

Upstairs, after Stiles hugged his boyfriend and brought him to his bedroom with a tender hand holding his shaking one, the boy sat his wolf on the bed, kneeled in front of him between his legs and stared into his eyes, which couldn’t hold his gaze for more than a second at the time.

He didn’t say anything, he had his hands on his knees, stroking his covered skin and took notice of how he kept hiding his arm behind his back, almost always keeping his gaze low and sometimes letting out a little whine when he moved his arm.

“Lemme see, mh?”

The question was surreal to Derek, there was nothing to see after all. His skin was fine, his boyfriend would see nothing there. So, he moved his arm away from his hiding spot and showed it to Stiles, who with pleading and caring eyes took hold of it with one hand, leaving the other to make soothing motions on his knee with his thumb.

But Stiles wasn’t blind.

Sure, there was nothing visible or tangible, skin was spotless and clothes were clean, but a little detail got away from the wolf: when Stiles touched his wrist, applying some pressure to feel his heartbeat with two fingers, it caused a little wave of discomfort to run down the wolf’s spine and there was only one reason why that happened there and not on his knees.

He looked in his eyes, blue as that drainful night, and although he knew, he didn’t say anything.

Stiles kissed his skin, leaving a few gentle, open mouthed kisses on his wrist and with his eyes, he told Derek he wasn’t alone, that it wasn’t his fault and that he didn’t deserve any punishment because he was a victim, not a culprit.

And Derek cried, because his boyfriend’s eyes were clear as day, allowing him to read everything and giving him the chance to not say a word, to not have to deal with the conversation that it would bring to.

ahhh this fic is going to either break my heart or yours, but either way, if it works it's gonna be a painful read (forgive me for it, i'm a sucker for making my readers cry... it means that i did a good enough job with the narrative that it brought to you the emotions i wanted to convey, still, forgive me again) No pressure tags @dontcallpanic (i'm addicted) @patolemus (can't ge tenough of your amazing works, forgive me) @hellameyers (it's been a while, hello my sweet foe) @hedwig221b (i'm a curious fella, i'd like to know you a bit) and everyone else who wanna join in