#it's not even that much but I remember taking way too long on it đ
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Echoes Of Nebula - MYG
Summary: Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, a part of each other, one and the same. Stars donât live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever. Â
Genre: Exes to lovers, angst, fluff
Word Count: 5.5k
Warning(s): I don't think there's any, but let me know if I've missed! Any mistakes are my own, I proofread this one (1) time đ
Masterlist
Notes: Eep, hello! Here's this lil thing I've been working on! Also, Yoongi and Mc didn't end on bad terms, their separation was somewhat mutual and they're all good :)). Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged! Enjoy!
âMake sure to eat, okay?âÂ
Snow swirls along the train tracks, following a gust as a train pulls into the station. Thereâs the bustle of people getting on and some getting off, bundled up warmly against the winter air. Some are going to see their families, some are taking a break from theirs. Some of them are stepping onto the train to never step foot in this town again. Some of them are just starting the first day of their adult lives.Â
Min Yoongi? Heâs moving to Seoul. Â
Your hands tuck the ends of his scarf securely into his sweater, staring at him like youâre trying to memorize his face. Your tears make tracks against your cheeks and dry quickly in the cold. Â
Min Yoongi is breaking up with his girlfriend. Â
âEat on time. And I donât mean ramyeon because youâre too lazy to cook.â You sniffle, and Yoongi wipes under your eyes with his thumbs. His glove has a hole in it. Not that it matters much right now, heâs trying to get you to stop crying. âSleep on time, not when the sunâs coming up.â Â
Min Yoongi is trying not to cry. Â
âOkay.â He holds you still because heâs trying to memorize your face. Heâs got pictures, even the silly ones that he took and promised to delete, but they wonât compare. âIâm sorry.âÂ
He mustâve apologised for the millionth time. He doesnât know what else to say. Â
You nod, smile â sadly, tears on your waterline â and, âI understand.â for the millionth time. Â
Heâs moving to Seoul, a long way away from Daegu. Â
A mixtape he made for shits and giggles took off and pulled him with it, and he has no choice but to follow. Your life is in this little town like a ship in a bottle and like a captain youâll go down with it. You canât follow. Â
You both talked about it for days, compromising, bargaining, but in the end, your lives are going separate ways. Â
Stars either explode or implode when they die, and Yoongi feel like the star youâre both made of has finally reached its end. Itâs imploding, folding in on itself and pulling everything with it. Â
He has five minutes left to take you in, how the tears shine in your eyes despite his efforts, the string of the necklace he won you at a fair peeking from behind your scarf. The way you smile and your eyes squint, the way he could feel the chill of your hands through his gloves. Â
He wants to stay right here in this moment and never leave if it meant he could take you in for five minutes till eternity. Â
âRemember to...â His throat feels raw, but itâs because of the cold and definitely not because heâs crying. The lump in his throat makes it hard to swallow. He looks somewhere above your head to give himself a second, things like these are always hard for him. âRemember to dress for the weather.â Â
He squeezes your hands, takes a breath that he almost chokes on, and looks back at you. âDonât skip meals. Get warm when you feel cold. Always carry an umbrella in July.â Â
Sometime later, Yoongi will wonder if the things he reminded you to do made much sense, if they mattered at all. Wonders if youâd actually remember. The umbrella one is really important; you always forget. Â
He sat where he could see you when his five minutes were up and eternity never came. Waving from behind a glass and missing the warmth of you and the sound of your voice. He watches you wipe your tears and smile big and you walk alongside the train when it pulls off and then you run, and then, Yoongi could no longer see you. Â
Min Yoongi broke up with his girlfriend and left her in the middle of winter chasing a train. Â
July is always rainy.Â
And every time it rains, Min Yoongi remembers the love he left in winter. He wonders if you remember to carry an umbrella. Itâs been five years; he wonders if you remember him at all.Â
He watches the rain splash into puddles and listens to the patter against his umbrella. Seoul bustles on, indifferent to the weather, its crowds meandering through the mid-summer downpour. Despite the seasonâs warmth, a stray breeze slips past his collar and reminds him of colder days. Heâs grateful his gloves no longer have holes.Â
He walks along the sidewalk, carried by the crowdâs flow without much thought. Â
Thereâs not much that he wishes for anymore, not much he can wish for when heâs got everything. He lives in a high rise, works at the top music production company. Sometimes itâs a bit hard being the most sought-after producer in Seoul. Life has been good; he canât complain. That mixtape opened doors he thought heâd be knocking on forever, and heâs worked hard to keep them open.Â
Min Yoongi doesnât need much of anything else.Â
But on days like this, when the wind is just a little chilly and the skyâs opened up and crying, he misses you.Â
Sometimes he looks back on that day and feel guilt. He knows it was just as hard for you as it was for him, the pain in your eyes that you smiled through.Â
For a while, heâd call you every night and update you, made sure that you were doing well. For a while, heâd keep up with you and made sure that youâre doing well. For a while, heâd call you every now and then, see if youâre doing well. Â
For a while, it had been a while and life, and then five years slinked on by. Â
Yoongi sighs, and thereâs guilt in it. He got busy, as one gets being a producer in Seoul with a shit ton of expectations. Heâs changed phones over the years, lost your contact, and he got busy.Â
Of course, heâs dated â mostly blind dates his friends set him up on â and heâs tried his best to push forward. Thereâs no point living in the past, heâs sure youâve moved on and on by now. Sometimes heâs fine, and sometimes heâs back on that train station platform, wishing heâd begged you to come with him.Â
It wouldâve been the selfish thing. It wouldnât have been fair to you had he done that. When he got to Seoul, heâd buried himself so deep into his work he barely found himself. He wouldâve dragged you out here, made you give up everything just to sit on the side-lines. Â
He misses you sometimes, anyways. Heâs forgotten the sound of your laugh, but he still remembers the way your nose scrunches when you do. Heâs forgotten the scent of your favourite perfume, but he remembers the way you lit up when he saved up and bought you a bottle forever ago.Â
Min Yoongi wonders if you remember him at all.Â
As Yoongi turns the corner, his umbrella catches a gust of wind and flips inside out. He fights with it for a moment before giving up, letting the rain soak his hair and the front of his jacket and jeans. He canât help but laugh at the irony, standing there drenched, remembering the countless times he reminded you to carry an umbrella.Â
In the distance, he spots a small cafĂ© and decides to seek shelter. The bell above the door jingles as he enters, and the warm, cozy atmosphere wraps around him like a comforting hug. He shakes off his umbrella â finally pulling it back down â and steps up to the counter, ordering a hot coffee to chase away the chill.Â
As he waits, his eyes wander around the cafĂ©, taking in the rustic dĂ©cor and the soft hum of conversation. A bulletin board on the wall catches his attention, filled with flyers and photos. His gaze lands on a familiar face, and his heart skips a beat.Â
Itâs you. Your photo, smiling brightly, pinned among various advertisements and announcements. Youâre standing next to a large canvas, looking proud. He steps closer, reading the caption beneath your picture: âLocal Artist Exhibition - Featuring Works by ________.âÂ
Yoongiâs mind races as he takes in the information. Youâre here in Seoul, and youâve been showcasing your art. A mix of emotions floods through himârelief, excitement, and a twinge of nervousness. He jots down the address of the gallery from the flyer without much thought and leaves without his coffee.Â
As Yoongi steps out into the rain, a million thoughts swirl through his mind, each one more turbulent than the last. He wonders why you never sought him out. Seoul is vast, but youâd known he was here, making waves in the music scene. Did you ever think about him? Did you ever miss him?Â
The realization hits him hard: he never knew you were doing art before he left. In all your conversations, all your late-night talks and shared dreams, you never mentioned a passion for painting. He feels a pang of guilt. Had he been so wrapped up in his own ambitions that he failed to notice yours? The thought stings, and he can't shake the feeling that he should have been there for your journey, supporting you the way you always supported him.Â
The gallery isnât far, and soon heâs standing in front of it, his heart pounding in his chest. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, the sound of soft music and hushed voices greeting him. Thereâs quite a bit of people mingling about in quiet discussion, taking photos of the art mounted on the walls under ambient lighting.Â
Inside the gallery, he feels out of place. The walls, adorned with your art, are a testament to a part of your life he knows nothing about. Each piece is beautiful, but they also serve as a painful reminder of how much heâs missed. He wonders how many late nights you spent creating these, how many times you might have needed someone to share your successes and frustrations with.Â
Yoongi wanders through the gallery, the sound of soft music and hushed voices creating a backdrop to his thoughts. The rain outside has left him feeling introspective, and as he takes in the various pieces of art, he feels a strange mix of pride and sadness seeing how far youâve come.Â
Each painting tells a story, each one a glimpse into your life over the past five years, a life he wasnât a part of.Â
His gaze is drawn to a large canvas on the far wall. The colours are bold and dramatic, the brushstrokes chaotic and full of emotion. As he steps closer, he realizes with a jolt that the scene depicted is achingly familiar: a train station, snow swirling in the air, and two figures standing close together, wrapped in scarves and winter coats.Â
His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the details. The style is unmistakably expressionist, the exaggerated forms and vibrant colours capturing the raw emotion of that day. The figures are abstract, but he knows them instantly: one is you, and the other is him.Â
He remembers the way you tucked his scarf into his sweater, the tears that made tracks down your cheeks, and the way you both tried to memorize each other in those final moments. The painting captures all of it, the pain and the love, the sorrow and the hope.Â
Yoongi feels a lump in his throat as he stares at the piece. Itâs a testament to your skill as an artist. He wonders how long you carried the weight of that moment, how many times you revisited it in your mind to create this masterpiece. Heâs overwhelmed by a wave of emotions: regret, longing, and a deep, unspoken connection.Â
The title of the painting, written on a small plaque beside it, reads âDeparture.â Itâs fitting, he thinks, for the moment it captures, but also for the way it marks the beginning of your separate journeys.Â
As he stands there, lost in thought, he hears your voice nearby, and for a moment, he simply stands there. Your words meld together and he isnât hearing much of what youâre saying, just the sound. His heart pounds against his ribs as your laugh â it sparks a memory and adds sound to the ones that were muted â bounces off the walls and around in his head. Â
He turns and sees you, in a corner, your back to him talking to a taller man, discussing a point of space where youâre standing. The sight of you, so vibrant and alive, sends a mixture of relief and nervousness fluttering around in Yoongiâs tummy.  Â
Gathering his courage, he takes a step forward, then another, until heâs standing just a few feet away. You turn and startle, staring at him like heâs a ghost. Thereâs a brief moment of surprise â he gets it â and then you blink.Â
âYoongi,â you breathe, and turning to the man next to you, you smile gently. âTaehyung...Can you give us a moment?â Â
The guy looks between you both for a second with a raised brow before heâs gone, walking off to some other part of the gallery. Yoongiâs mind is too occupied taking in the sight of you to wonder what that manâs presence may mean.Â
âHi,â he replies, his voice soft and filled with all the words heâs wanted to say for years. Despite this, he doesnât actually know what to say, he didnât actually think this far ahead. He glances back at the painting of the train station platform, then back at you. âI saw your painting.âÂ
You follow his gaze and nod, your smile tinged with a hint of sadness. âIt was a significant moment for me. For both of us, I think.âÂ
Itâs a lot awkward, with him just standing there, not sure what to do with himself. You look the same, though now your hair is styled professionally and not the frizzy, wind swept mess it was when he last saw you. Â
Thereâs so much he wants to say but he feel like he doesnât have enough words, or the right ones, so he takes it easy. âI saw a flyer...in a cafĂ©. Um... Itâs amazing...your work.â Â
âThank you,â you say, your eyes reflecting a mixture of pride, nostalgia and a certain sadness. âI didnât know youâd be here. Itâs... good to see you.âÂ
The conversation goes slowly, awkwardly. There are long pauses and nervous laughter, each of you trying to bridge the gap of five years with small talk about your art and his music.Â
âYouâve done well,â he says, gesturing to the paintings around you both. âI didnât even know you were into art.âÂ
You smile, the same just barely there sad smile from earlier. âIt was something I started after you left. It helped me cope.âÂ
âOh...â His heart aches at the thought of you turning to art just to fill the void he left behind. âIâm sorry I wasnât there,â he says, his voice barely above a whisper.Â
You shake your head and shrug. âWe both had our paths to follow. Itâs just... life.âÂ
He nods, but the guilt lingers. Life had taken you both in different directions, but he canât help but wonder what might have been different if he had stayed, or if he had at least tried to stay in touch better.Â
Min Yoongi is an idiot and heâs always told himself so. Heâs an idiot and he sucks at this sort of thing.Â
As the gallery starts to empty out, Yoongi looks at you, the rain pattering gently against the windows. Thereâs a part of him that wants to apologize, to make up for all the lost time, but he knows itâs not that simple.Â
âDo you have time for a coffee?â he asks, hope and uncertainty mingling in his eyes.Â
Your smile is a little hesitant, but you nod, âSure.âÂ
You excuse yourself to grab your jacket and an umbrella â you remembered, he smiles privately â, and then you talk to the man from earlier for a minute before Yoongi follows you out of the gallery and onto the wet street. Â
The walk is quiet, filled with the awkwardness of five yearsâ worth of missed everythingâs, and Yoongi holds tight to the handle of his umbrella. Thereâs a confidence to your step as you weave your way through the crowd, head straight forward and not looking down at your feet like he remembers.Â
Youâre not the girl he left on that platform five years ago just as heâs not the guy that left you there. Â
You walk back to the cafe heâd come from, and he realises that youâre probably a regular here. The barista behind the counter greets you with a smile and asks if youâre having your usual. You order a coffee and Yoongi asks the girl behind the counter to reheat the one he bought earlier, and the baristaâs eyes dart between you both.Â
You lead him to a cozy corner table after the order was called, and as you settle in, the conversation starts up slowly again.Â
âHow long have you been in Seoul?â Yoongi asks first, his voice a little hesitant, not sure if heâs allowed to ask. Â
âAlmost three years now,â you reply, looking down at your coffee cup, the tiniest furrow between your brows. âIt took a while, but I got settled.âÂ
Yoongi takes a moment to observe you, trying to reconcile the person in front of him with the memories heâs held onto for the past five years. You donât look much different, your hairâs in an up-do, your cheeks are a little fuller, but thatâs as much as he notices. Â
The silence that rings between you both is louder than the other customers in the cafe. Yoongi can only imagine what this scene looks like to others; two people who are barely looking at each other, like awkward strangers forced to share a space. Â
His coffee is still hot, and it burns his tongue when he sips at it, but at least itâs given him a distraction. He steals glances at you, watching the way your eyes comb the cafe and avoid his gaze. Â
Unfortunately, Yoongi is naught but a man, and thereâs a nagging sound at the back of his brain. It grows louder until he fidgets, the nerves of his free hand feel like theyâre dancing and he takes a breath. He looks down at his coffee cup, glances at you and then back to the cup. Then, he asks a question that made him want to crawl out of his skin. Â
âSo...that guy back at your gallery seemed nice...â Â
He knows itâs been five years, and a lot can change in that time. As toxic as it may sound, the thought of you moving on with someone else stirs a mix of emotions in him.Â
He knows he has no right to be upset if youâve found happiness with someone else. Itâs not his business anymore, not after all this time.  Â
Still, the fear is there. He doesnât want to admit how much it hurts to think of you with someone else. He canât deny the pang of jealousy at the thought, but he tries his best to ignore it. He has no claim over you. You deserve to be happy, and if youâve found that with someone, then heâs happy. Â
He sighs inwardly, pushing the thoughts aside. He wants to focus on the present, on the fact that youâre sitting in front of him right now. Whatever happens, heâs happy to be here, he hopes he can be a part of your life again of you let him, even if itâs only as a friend. He doesnât want to ruin this, whatever it turns out to be.Â
You stare at him for a moment and Yoongi canât tell what youâre thinking, âHe is...heâs got an eye for art.â Â
Yoongi nods slowly, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup. He hums softly, and now itâs his turn to pretend youâre not looking; he finds interest in the light fixtures above.  Â
His next question sits on his tongue trying to pry past his teeth. He feels like a kid trying to find the right moment to ask his parents if he could go play outside. Thereâs a nervous churning in his tummy that isnât at all pleasant. How does one ask their ex of five years if theyâre seeing someone? Â
Yoongi imagines theyâd just ask, out of curiosity, and get it out of the way. He could play it well. Maybe lean back into his seat and appear more casual before he says the stupid words. Maybe he could stop staring at the lights like a damn moth, and act like a being with a fully developed frontal lobe. Â
âAre you two...close? Or...you know...â He waves a hand and then lays it on the table. The sound of his ring knocking against it is kind of jarring, but it gives Yoongi an opportunity to look away again.Â
You make a quiet sound, and Yoongi finally meets your gaze. Thereâs amusement in your eyes, itâs obvious youâve figured him out already â he wasnât exactly being subtle. Which is unfortunate, because now Yoongi could feel embarrassment tapping on his shoulder.Â
You say nothing of it, even though he knows you want to. He could feel it. Â
âAs close as business partners can be, I suppose.â You say, and Yoongi can see the beginning of a smile as you lift your coffee to hide it. Â
âRight...Sorry.â Yoongi says sheepishly, though, a weight lifts off his chest. As he looks at you, he notices something that makes his heart skip a beat. Â
Youâre still wearing the necklace he got you all those years ago, the one he won for you at the fair. The twine that the little pendant hangs on looks worn, fraying a bit at some points, but youâre wearing it. Â
You kept it.Â
He clears his throat, the words heâs been holding back spilling out. âIâm sorry I lost touch. I got so busy, and then it felt like too much time had passed to reconnect. I lost your contact, and⊠I didnât know how to find you again.âÂ
You nod, your fingers brushing over the necklace like you sensed his gaze on it. âItâs okay. Life happened, for both of us.âÂ
âBut why didnât you seek me out when you got to Seoul?â Yoongi asks, his voice soft, devoid of accusation; genuinely curious.Â
âI thought it would be for the best,â you say, equally as soft, staring into your coffee as though it would give you the words youâre looking for. âSo much time had passed, and I didnât want to disrupt your life. You were doing well.â Â
You look so sad when you say it that it almost breaks Yoongiâs heart. Â
âYou know I wouldnât have...â He wouldnât have turned you away. Â
âI know, I just...â You sigh, your eyes dart somewhere to his left, and then back at him, â...I really missed you.â Â
Yoongi wants to reach out and take your hand so he does. Your fingers are warm from the coffee, squeezing his own, and tears beads at your waterline. Â
âI missed you too.â His gaze is soft and he knows it, but he doesnât care because its you. Youâre still you and heâs still him, and he misses you and the girl he left on that platform. Â
Youâre both still made of the same star. Itâs imploded but still glowing, and your necklace pendant catches the above head light. Â
His finger brushes over your knuckles, he stares at them, the shape and colour and all the little things about them that makes them a part of you. All that with his heart in his throat because he wants to ask something. Â
âDo you thinkâŠâ His voice is barely a whisper, as if heâs afraid the wrong volume might shatter whatever delicate thread holds this moment together. âDo you think thereâs a chance⊠that we could try again?âÂ
You stare at him, your eyes wide, and he feels the subtle pressure of your fingers in his. He knows itâs a lot to ask, but the longing, the sense that maybe something beautiful can still be salvaged from the pieces, presses him to keep going.Â
Hope catches on the glint of your necklace pendant, and he clings to it.Â
âI donât expect anything to happen right away. I just⊠I want to be in your life again, even if we start slow. No pressure, just⊠what feels right.âÂ
Youâre quiet for a moment, and then a soft smile curves your lips, almost as if youâve been waiting for him to say something like this. Â
âWe could try,â you murmur, the words tentative but filled with the same cautious hope Yoongi feels.Â
And from there, the pace is unhurried. You both ease into each otherâs lives like rivers that find their way back to the same stream. Â
Some days Yoongi feels like heâs been whacked on the head with a giant stick. Anyone could tell by looking at him, when heâs got that stupid look on his face. Like heâs seen a goddess and she spared him a glance. He feels like heâs dreaming, and the last five years without you seem to blur. Â
He starts small, a text here and there; good morning and good night. Even if heâs busy heâd keep up with you, except when his work demands his focus. There are some days when youâd disappear, and Yoongi understands when you explain youâve been in your studio for hours. Â
Your gallery isnât far from his work, and as much as he could heâd go see you. He finds himself drawn to small gesturesâbringing you lunch or a cup of coffee, or sometimes a sweet he thinks you might like. Each time he steps into the gallery with something for you, he feels a warmth settle in his chest.Â
Itâs an excuse, he knows, to see you smile, to watch you light up at the thoughtfulness of it. And each time you look at him with that gentle, appreciative gaze, he feels his hope grow a little stronger.Â
Youâd tell him all about your creative process, how youâd spin and weave whatâs in your head onto a canvas. Heâd listen attentively because heâs interested and he owes it to you. All those nights spent burning the midnight oil, steeping in his frustrations; you were there. Youâd listen to him rant and cry when things werenât working out the way he wanted.Â
He owed you much more than that. Â
He feels like he has to learn you all over again, which, in a sense, he does. Even if the bases of you are the same, thereâs new facets. Little shards that fit into the mirror that reflects you, some pieces are a little dusty and worn with time and others are new and shiny. Yoongi has to take his time cleaning the old ones to see them again, and get used to the new ones that twinkle his eyes. Â
He invites you to his place for dinner, something simple and easy, and the conversation flows a lot better than it had a month before. Â
Thereâs no awkward sentences that cut off somewhere in the middle. Yoongi knows what to do with his hands and he has a better time looking you in the eye now. He feels a lot like he did back then, like a school boy taking his crush to meet his parents. His hands are a little sweaty, but the food is good and your eyes sparkle like they did back then, too. Â
You seem so sure, like youâre not worried one bit. Like you knew youâd meet him again and youâd be here in this moment; sipping on white wine â something new heâs learned â and chucking over stories set in the past. Â
The day he let a pet name slip was the day Yoongi wished a chasm would open up and swallow him. He had his excuse ready; the clockâs pushing one in the morning; heâs tired. The truth? Itâs so easy to slip back into old ways, like nothing changed at all. Â
Like a smouldering fire in a hearth. Itâs not quite out yet, and if you throw some sticks in there, theyâll catch. Â
After a while, on some sunny evening, Yoongi invited you to his studio.Â
âThis is where I spend most of my time.â And he means that, letting you into his studio. Thereâs a blanket tossed haphazardly on the black couch that lines the wall near the door. Â
Thereâs day old take away coffee cups that never made it to the bin, cluttered in a designated spot. The bin he meant to empty is overflowing with scraps of paper and crushed takeout containers. Thatâs as far as the clutter goes. Though, Yoongiâs embarrassed now â he prides himself on keeping tidy. He wasnât thinking when he asked you over, didnât expect you to agree either. Â
So now heâs clearing up his desk and tying a knot on the waste bag. You make yourself comfortable on his couch like youâve been there before, throwing the blanket over your lap as your eyes dart about to take everything in. Â
Youâre impressed, he could tell by the gleam in your eyes and your little down turned smile. Heâs come a long way from his old computer and MIDI. Â
âIts nice, cosy. Beats camping out in your bedroom.â You smile and Yoongi chuckles, nodding. Â
âDamn right.â He agrees, but he wouldnât trade in those days for anything. Truthfully, heâs been here for three days, only going home to shower. Inspiration on an all time high and heâs just been riding the wave, youâve been his muse for the past month. It isnât the first time, at moments over the years gone youâd float into his mind like a mirage, and heâd get stuck on you. Â
Heâs grateful for the break, though, thereâs nothing much to do and he doesnât want to bore you with rambling about what heâs working on. So he orders something, and lets a movie play on his laptop. Â
The clock ticks softly in the corner, its sound nearly drowned out by the hum of the desk lamp â he should really get that replaced. Youâre still curled up on his couch despite the hour, the blanket pooled around your legs, your eyes scanning a painting on the wall he doesnât remember hanging.Â
âItâs peaceful here,â you say, your voice quiet but steady, like youâre speaking directly to the heart of the roomâand to him.Â
Yoongi glances up from the cluttered desk heâd been half-heartedly straightening; resorting his things because he canât sit still. He watches the way you seem to belong in his space, your presence settling into the corners he never realized were empty. The faintest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.Â
âYou think so?â he asks, moving to lean against the edge of the desk. He crosses his arms, the soft light from the lamp catching on the fine lines of his face. âI always thought it was too chaotic.âÂ
You turn your head, your gaze locking onto his. âChaos can be beautiful. It just takes the right eyes to see it.âÂ
The words settle between you, their weight both gentle and profound. Yoongi feels something inside him shiftâa small piece of armour finally cracking and falling away.Â
He takes a step toward you, his hands slipping into his pockets, his expression tentative. âThereâs something Iâve been meaning to ask you.âÂ
You sit up a little straighter, tilting your head. âWhat is it?âÂ
âWould youâŠâ He hesitates, his fingers brushing against the edge of a USB drive in his pocketâthe same drive that holds the tracks heâs been working on for weeks. âWould you let me write something for you? About you?âÂ
Your surprise shows in the slight widening of your eyes, followed quickly by a soft, warm smile. âYou already do that, donât you?âÂ
Yoongi chuckles under his breath, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. âMaybe,â he admits, with a small smile that meant more than he could say. âBut this time, I want you to know itâs for you. No hiding it in metaphors or beats no one else understands. JustâŠyou.âÂ
You rise from the couch, the blanket slipping to the side as you close the small distance between you. Standing so close, Yoongi count all the things that make you you. Â
âOkay,â you say softly, your fingers brushing against his. âBut only if you let me paint something for you, too.âÂ
Yoongi takes your hand because he wants to, and his fingers make home in the spaces between yours. It feels like dĂ©jĂ vu and an epiphany all at once: five years ago you were this close and he was saying goodbye. His gloves had holes. Today...heâs saying hello again, and it feels like no time had gone by. And he kisses you now because he didnât kiss you then, and you sigh into it like youâve been waiting a lifetime. Â
Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, apart of each other, one in the same. Stars donât live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever. Â
Tagging: @hoseoksluna @xpeachesncream @amon-rei @allhobbitstoisengard @euphoricfilter @madbutgloriouspond
#Persphonesorchid#Fic: Echoes of nebula#Min Yoongi#Yoongi x reader#exes to lovers#bts x reader#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts suga#suga x reader#agust d#agust d x reader#min yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi x reader#bts#bts fic recs#bts fic rec#yoongi fluff#yoongi angst#suga fluff#suga angst#AHHHH I LOVE THESE TWO ïżœïżœ
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
dry house, wet clothes (six)
đŻđđđ dry house, wet clothes, six
pairing. johnny suh x afab!reader x jeong jaehyun
genre. angst, fluff, eventual smut, slow burn (for jaehyun), friends to lovers (for johnny)
warnings. swearing, mentions of drinking, kissing, explicit smut (oral (receiving/giving), fingering, not so dry humping (frottage). big miscommunication trope, it is what it is. itâs so much angst iâm so sorry
word count. 8,437
plot. the four of you have spent years building the world around you, your friendship, your weekends together hidden in jaehyun's loft. you, mark, johnny and jaehyun. shaking the foundation of that by being in love with your best friend, jaehyun, is a risk you've never been confident enough to take. but, johnny suh is confident and johnny suh has been known to shake the world around you.
other's mentioned. lee jeno, huang renjun, na jaemin, lee haechan (donghyuck), lee taeyong, nakamoto yuta, qian kun, ten lee, jung sungchan, kim jungwoo, kim doyoung
author's note. chapter six is here! itâs shorter because chapter seven is twice as long, but this felt like a good place to cut it! so, enjoy enjoy! (crying editing this chapter because Sungchang mentioned). also, i donât know what happened? i had this scheduled to post at 10:30 last night and then it didnât post it?? i woke up thinking i flopped because i didnât have any notifs đ iâm so sorry
taglist (open). @xiaojunsdino @yoursyuno @girlisaloser
playlist. here!
âYouâre so beautiful.â
Johnnyâs voice was soft, his fingertips running along the skin of your stomach. You watched him, every move he made, every breath, every blink, and wondered if youâd ever get used to those words from his lips. The way his lips curved around each syllable with an easy, definitive smile. How his eyes didnât waver, held a sincerity Johnny was never short on. Humming, a pleasant pause to thank him, you looked down at his fingers and said, âI remember when we met.â
âYeah?â His grin grew, âWhat do you remember?â
Johnny when heâd yet to grow into his limbs, when his arms were a bit too long for the sleeves of his uniform and his legs carried him in acre-long strides. Johnny when his charm was settling, solidifying into sincerity; Johnnyâs sparkling eyes when they were filled with unpredictable fireworks, instead of ever-shining sun. There were few discernable differences between that Johnny and the man in your bed, waiting for you to breathe.
You looked back to him, âI told you that your tie was crooked and you ignored me.â
Johnny laughed, chest pressed against you and rumbling with the sound. His hand extended to settle on your waist, pulling you closer to him, still, âI donât remember that.â
âOf course you donât.â Curling into him, you added, âYou got in trouble for it thirty minutes after, though. I think it was your third or fourth day.â
âHm. I didnât know how to tie a tie.â
You nodded, head on his chest, and confirmed with, âYour mom only bought you clip-on ties. You told me.â
âWhat else?â
âYou seemed so much older than me.â It was a strange thought, the memory of Johnny so young but feeling larger than life, larger than this world. For as long as youâd known him, in all the ways heâd changed, that much was still true, âEverything about you, justâŠthe way you existed. That doesnât even make sense.â
âSure it does.â Heâd come in the middle of the school year, just before his birthday. He did everything he could to blend, everything he could to integrate. He found you and he found Jaehyun and Johnny found a place to fit, âYou had that bright yellow backpack.â
âI still have it.â
âAnd your astrology book.â
You traced the tattoo on his arm, âAnd you asked me what the stars had to say about when youâd be losing your virginity.â
He kissed the top of your head, muffling another laugh in your hair. Johnny closed his eyes, âDo you still have your book?â
âMm. Probably. I think itâs downstairs.â
Johnny pulled back, kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose, your cheek. Then, fingers on your chin, he tilted your head up and kissed your lips. Johnny who had grown into his arms and his acre-long legs. Johnny who grew his hair longer, who knew how to tie a tie. Johnny who had sunlight in his eyes, who kissed you like it killed him not to. You let your heart swell, holding onto the memory of him with one hand and holding this moment in the other. His lips that curved around sweet words moved slowly with yours; Johnny would always move slowly with you.
âDo me a favor.â He kissed you again, only briefly, âGo find your book?â
âWhat?â
âGo see if you can find it.â
Sunbeams flickered in his eyes so brightly you could confuse them for fireworks, traces of your memories still lingering in him. Johnny smiled at you, nudged you, pulled himself from the bed and you after, âWhy are we doing this?â
The warmth of your blankets faded too quickly, Johnnyâs warmth following just as fast. He urged you towards the door, hands on your waist and pushing you backwards, âGo on. Iâll meet you down there.â
You grumbled, âItâs cold.â
But you went. Johnny asked and Johnny smiled, so you went. Your house was dark, two oâclock casting shadows and a particular sense of calm. Your living room was only lit by a sliver of moonlight, just in the center. Your bookshelves lined the furthest wall, behind your television and on either side; a collection that never stopped growing, a collection that needed to be shifted and straightened regularly. Books youâd read and cherished, annotated and scribbled love notes to the authors, the characters and their enemies in. They were stacked in wobbling towers on the floor, leaning against each other for support when they started to fall.
You knew where the astrology book should be; torn to pieces, pulling apart along the spine and frayed at the edges. It hadnât moved in years, tucked away on the second shelf from the top. Your bare feet padded across the living room, stepping carefully around precarious stacks until you found it. It felt lighter in your hands, smaller.
You cracked it open, let the dust on the cover rub off on your fingers while you skimmed over your notes, âHuh.â
Youâd dog-eared five dates; two in February, one in August, one in September and one in late October. It was a relic of its time, frozen and preserved. February 9th had his name scribbled at the top, Aquarius highlighted in neon green, unpredictable underlined in black. Your memory of Johnny came back to life in front of you; crooked tie, shorter hair, fireworks bursting in his eyes.
âYou found it.â His voice was close behind you, âCan I ask you an astrology question?â
You turned and looked at him, Johnny still so much bigger than this world, larger than life, âSure.â
Johnny came closer, âWhat do the stars have to say about you being my girlfriend?â
Your heart jumped, flipped, exploded in your chest. Any oxygen you had in your lungs fled, leaving you to gasp for air, for an answer. Johnny watched you, the easiest smile he could manage on his face. He was stepping closer still, hands wrapped around his sweater until he was toe-to-toe with you, lifting it over your head and pulling it down.
He took a moment to look at you. His sweater fell against your thighs and he worked at the sleeves until they were rolled up to your wrists. Johnny didnât hide that he was shaking, didnât hide that he was nervous and excited and bursting with adrenaline. Youâd told him that you wanted to be his. Make me yours, youâd said. But, he had yet to ask and Johnny didnât ever want to assume - not when it came to this, not when it came to you.
So, he explained, âI didnât ask yet, officially. I wanted to ask.â
The spine protested the way your hands gripped the book, âMe or the stars?â
Johnny looked at the open pages, the word unpredictable underlined, then smiled at you. It was all he could do, he was riddled with hope, âBoth. You, mostly. But, both if it helps.â
You caught your breath then - he was looking at you like that. For months, unnoticed. For months, undetected. For six months, Johnny waited and settled on certainty, on sincerity. If you asked for it, heâd give you that time. Heâd tease you, heâd kiss you and Johnny would make a game of it; one you could both win, one youâd love to play. But, Johnny would give you that time, if itâs what you needed, if it meant youâd be his.
If the stars said to, heâd double it.
Make me yours, Johnny. Youâd made your decision over dinner, over stolen kisses at a Halloween party, over a dance at a festival and that look. So, you swallowed and said, âI say yes.â
Johnnyâs breath caught in his throat when he asked, âAnd the stars?â
âThey say yes, too.â
Johnny swept you up in his arms, lips on yours in an instant. He was still shaking, adrenaline leaving his body in short breaths between kisses. He could feel the world rotating, felt it move underneath him and knew it was a miracle he was steady on his own two feet. He whispered your name, followed it with, âMy Juliet.â
Then, Johnny thanked the stars. He sang their praises into your lips and begged them not to go cross at the sound of your nickname. To have a sense of humor, to give his Juliet and your Romeo a better ending. Johnny held you in a sliver of moonlight and asked the stars for no ending, at all. Just you.
Only you.
đ»
11:37am Hey man
11:37am I think itâs just gonna be you and Jaehyun tonight
11:38am Iâm gonna spend the day with my girlfriend
âYo.â Markâs phone buzzed once on the table, twice in the palm of his hand. He blinked just as many times, watching as the messages from Johnny came in, processing them, letting his jaw drop as a reaction, âYo!â
His fist balled, slamming against Jenoâs arm to his left, âWhat happened?â
âTheyâre together.â Mark was hushed, his answer almost lost in the bustle of the cafeteria. His eyes felt like theyâd fall out of his head, bugged as they were, âTheyâre fucking together.â
Renjun leaned over Markâs other shoulder, âJohnny?â
Jeno shook his head, âHoly shit. He did it?â
Renjun settled back into his seat, âSee Jaemin, itâs possible.â
âOh, fuck off.â
âThis is incredible.â If he could bottle this feeling he would. His expression shifted to reflect every emotion he cycled through until it settled into an ecstatic grin. He pushed himself away from the table, âIâll be right back.â
Then, Mark crossed the cafeteria phone pressed to his ear. Johnny answered, âWhy would you call?â
âBecause Iâm excited, dude.â He was weaving through people, no clear destination, âYou asked her?â
âI said I wanted to spend time with my girlfriend and you called?â He could hear you laughing, Markâs cheeks ached. Johnny told him, âI asked.â
âDude, when?â
âDude, last night.â
He leaned himself against a wall, âI canât believe this.â
âSure you can, Mark.â He listened to the background noise, unidentifiable sounds, the two of you moving together. Together. Together. You and Johnny were together. Markâs laugh came out like a hoot, rushed out and echoed in the hallway. Johnny joined him, briefly, âLook, weâre just waking up. So, Iâll call you later, okay?â
âNo, donât worry about it. Iâm so happy for you, Johnny.â He was. More than what felt reasonable, but it was out of Markâs control. He was ecstatic, âBoth of you. Seriously.â
Then, Johnny told him, âThanks man. Me too.â
The line went silent after that, leaving Mark to buzz on his own. He paces three laps the width of the hallway, smiling to himself, celebrating by himself. Mark basked in his uncontainable feelings for as long as he could, before he raised his phone again and made one more call.
âHey, Mark.â
âHe did it.â He was bursting at the seams, âJaehyun, Johnny fucking did it.â
đ»
Johnnyâs head was in your lap. Your fingers played with the strands of his hair, twirled them around and let them fall. His fingers traced up and down your calves, occasionally chased by his lips. The movie youâd turned on was nearly forgotten, falling into the background every time he kissed your skin. Johnny hummed against your leg, âYou okay?â
âIâm fine.â When he looked up at you, you did your best to smile back, lips pulled tight. Your hands fell to your sides, palms flat on the couch while Johnny rotated, turning to face you, âWhat are you doing?â
âYouâd tell me if I was pushing too far, right?â You nodded, Johnnyâs hands caught yours and pulled them back to his hair, âGood. Keep going.â
His lips kissed your thigh, soft and brief, but enough to make your heart pound. One kiss by your knee, another higher, another higher still until heâd pushed the fabric of your shorts to the side to kiss along the line of your panties. Johnny breathed you in, eyes closed, âToo much?â
You sighed, âNo.â
âKeep going?â
âPlease.â
His fingers tugged at the fabric again, nose nuzzled against your clothed pussy for a moment before he placed a kiss at your core. Higher and higher until another one circled around your clit. You tasted like heaven, still, like perfection falling apart at the simplest touch underneath him.
âBabe?â He didnât lift his head, voice muffled against you, âCan I taste you, again?â
You nodded your head.
Johnny chided, âWords, baby.â
âYes, please Johnny.â
He sat up in a second, hands wrapped around your ankles and pulling at your legs. He moved himself to the opposite end of the couch, letting you lay back and find comfort before he lifted your leg again. His kisses were sloppier, rushing back up your leg, and his fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs. Johnny felt starved and it hadnât even been twelve hours. Pulling at the waistband, he slid your shorts and panties down your legs, dizzy at the sight of you, again; overwhelmed by your glistening pussy in the daylight.
âIâm so fucking lucky.â
You hid from him, face behind your hands, âJohnny, be quiet.â
âNot a chance.â He hovered over you, hardening cock brushing against your clit when he whispered against your lips, âYouâre perfect, baby. All mine.â
âAll yours.â
Then, Johnny was back between your thighs, lapping at your pussy; drinking you in. His tongue pushed inside, circling to taste every drop before he steadily thrust in and out. He held your thighs down, fingers bruising your skin as you writhed and wriggled, arched against him, âFeel good?â
âFeels so good. Feels so fucking good.â Your voice was broken, barely above a whisper, ââMore.â
âAnything for you, baby.â Johnny focused his attention on your clit, sucking it between his lips and moaning against you, âYou want me to fuck you with my fingers?â
âMhm.â
He slipped two in, lifting his head only to watch how your jaw hung open. Johnny smothered himself with your pussy, barely coming up for air, sucking and moaning against you. He added a third finger, âSo wet for me. Dripping.â
âJohnny.â
âTell me.â
Your mind was lost, fogged over completely at his touch, the way he sounded, the way he made you feel. Your hips bucked every time he hooked his fingers inside you, with every kiss or kitten lick on your clit. You were gone, mindless, âMore.â
âMy Juliet is greedy.â He hooked his hands under your knees, tossing one over his shoulder and then the other, âGood to know.â
He dove back in, messy and wet. Johnnyâs drool mixed in with your juices, dripping down onto the couch. He pulled back, leaving you breathless, a rush of cool air on your cunt. His fingers were in his mouth, sucking the taste of you from the tips before he put them back in, using his other hand to lift your ass up off the couch. The angle had you seeing stars, head thrown back.
âJohnny. Johnny. Johnny.â Your legs were shaking, stars blurring into pure white as you came on his tongue, on his fingers, down Johnnyâs chin. You were everywhere on him, âFuck. Oh my God.â
He pulled his fingers out slowly, sucking your wetness off of them again before he settled back on his heels. His cock was pushing against his pants, only for a second, before Johnny pulled it out and spit on his hand. He kept his eyes on you, wrecked in front of him and bucked into his hand, âYouâre fucking incredible, baby.â
Your eyes opened slowly, the sight of him jerking himself off sent a shiver to your core, âNo. No wait.â
âWait for what?â His hand never stopped. You pulled yourself up as well as you could until you were in front of him kneeling. Johnny couldnât breathe, âOpen.â
Your jaw fell, waiting for his cock. Johnny slapped the tip against your tongue once, twice, three times before he eased it in, rocking just slightly. You wanted him to use you, wanted him to feel just as good as heâd made you feel. Wanted Johnny to look at you like this, always; those sunbeams shining in his heavy-lidded eyes.
âUse me.â
His hips stuttered, âHuh?â
âHowever you want, Johnny.â You sucked at his tip, tongue tasting the precum leaking from his slit, âJust use me.â
âCome here, beautiful.â He pulled you up. Johnny settled into the couch, sitting upright and guiding you onto his lap. You waited for him to lower your hips down, sink you onto his length, but he didnât. Instead, Johnny held your hips, sliding his cock through your wetness before letting it slap against his abdomen. He sat you down, positioning his cock between the two of you, then breathed out, âMove.â
His fingers pushed into your hips, your waist, your ass. Anything he could hold onto to get your hips grinding on him. Your pussy slid against his cock, wrapped around him and wet. The tip pushed against your clit with every thrust, both of your moans echoing in the room.
Johnny licked his lips, one hand reaching up to grab the back of your neck and guide you to him. You kissed him, uncoordinated and sloppy, lost in the rhythm of your hips and his. He was breathing heavily, chest rising rapidly as he chased your lips, chased his high.
âIt feels so good.â
He nodded his head, resting it against yours, holding you there. Johnny begged you, again, like he needed to know he had you here, âLook at me.â
You did, eyes locked on him. Your hips couldn't follow the rhythm youâd set, both of you humping and grinding against each other, erratically before Johnny moaned, âCumming.â
It was drawn out, the way he said it. Johnny was shaking underneath you and never letting go, the intensity of his own orgasm pushed you over the edge, again. Head tossed back, calling out his name like it was the only thing you could remember.
He pulled you against his chest, let you collapse there and catch your breath. He felt like heâd pushed too far, clarity coming back to him like a wave. So, Johnny held you until you came back down and hoped he hadnât crossed a line.
He asked, âHow do you feel?â
âSo good.â
âNot too far?â
You leaned back, holding eye contact with him again and promised, quietly enough for only Johnny to hear, âNot too far. I promise, Iâll tell you.â
He nodded, âOkay.â
âCome take a shower with me.â
Again, he nodded, âOkay.â
đ»
Saturday came quickly, after a whole day hidden away with Johnny. Your boyfriend Johnny. Johnny who knew exactly how to touch you, how to kiss you, how to keep your world spinning and Johnny who promised heâd figure out the rest. He held your hand as you walked down the street to Jaehyunâs, keeping you wrapped in his sweater for one more day.
He stopped you in the middle of the road, centered in front of Jaehyunâs house and staring up at the loft, âYou ready?â
âItâs just Mark and Jaehyun.â You hoped his sweater would summon a pinch of Johnnyâs certainty, trying to convince yourself that a night in the loft would be normal. Knowing that it wouldnât be, feeling Jaehyun on your lips, Johnny everywhere else. You looked at him, âItâll be okay.â
Johnny knew you were worried, if it wasnât written clearly on your face, youâd told him as much. In the steam of your shower, with Johnnyâs hands on your skin, you told him. Youâd whispered it like a secret against his bicep, âTonight will be different.â
He lathered you in milk and honey soap, massaged it into your skin, âWhy do you think that?â
âBecause weâre different.â
He was kneeling at your feet, one leg propped up so he could rest yours on top. Johnny switched your legs, letting you use him for balance, before he looked up at you - beautiful you, vulnerable with him, willingly vulnerable. Heâd spent six months wondering how he could get here and now, all he wanted to do was stay, âDifferent how?â
You snorted, âYou know how.â
The cheeky grin on his face made you laugh more, âYeah, but I want to hear you say it.â
You played the game, âBecause you have a girlfriend.â
Johnny stood up, imitation shock perfectly on his face, âI do? Who? Should I be here with you?â
âOf course you should be.â
âAnd why is that?â
Giving in, caving for Johnnyâs charm, you switched spots and pushed him under the water. You brought your lips to his chest, kissing where the last leaf of his tattoo ended and telling him, âBecause Iâm your girlfriend.â
You could feel him shiver when Johnny pulled you flush against him, âYouâre my girlfriend.â Then he whispered, âHow insane is that?â
Jaehyunâs house was daunting, now, a new reality. Youâd never hesitated on his sidewalk like this, never thought twice about climbing the iron steps. Johnny pulled at your hand and repeated your words back to you, âItâll be okay. Itâs just Mark and Jaehyun.â
Mark had gotten there first, taking the steps two at a time when he arrived. Jaehyun could hear him before he could see him, the clunk of his feet, then the door hitting the wall, then his backpack hitting the floor. The youngest asked, âAre they here yet?â
Jaehyun was at his piano, tapping keys one by one in a scale, âNot yet.â
âCan you believe it, man?â Mark was at the window, pulling off his coat, his hat, watching the empty street like it would pull you from your house, âJohnny thought heâd change his mind.â
âDid he?â Jaehyun met Mark where he was, hands tucked in his pockets. He saw you, then, hand-in-hand with Johnny. Jaehyun let the words rush out in a sigh, âLooks like he didnât.â
âI knew he wouldnât. I think he just wanted to be sure, you know? Heâs so careful about this kind of stuff.â
Jaehyun noted, âYeah. He is.â
At that, Mark looked at him, pulling his attention away from you and Johnny - boyfriend and girlfriend, together, you and Johnny - to ask, âYou okay, man?â
Jaehyun took only a second to react, adjusting himself to stand upright, fixing his expression so it was believable. He was falling apart, but he told Mark, simply, âYeah. Weird work week.â
And they left it at that.
When youâd climbed the stairs, when you pushed the door to the loft open, Mark rushed the two of you. Shouting out his excitement, arms secured around the two of you, âOh my God!â
Johnny laughed, hand still holding yours, squeezing a reassurance before he patted Mark on the back, âIâm starting to think you thought sheâd reject me.â
âIâm just excited, man. This is so exciting.â He was so eloquent when he could nit pick his words, but in moments like this Mark was repetitive, vibrating with too much energy and excitement to articulate, âCongrats you guys.â
You heard bottles clink across the room, followed the sound to where Jaehyun stood. He looked at you for a second, felt his lips tingle - the last place you touched - and then agreed, âCongratulations you guys.â
His hand extended to Johnny first, then Mark, then you. The way Jaehyunâs fingertips lingered on the neck of the bottle, at the tips of yours, was something kept between the two of you. Johnny told him, told the both of them, âThanks.â
And you echoed it, eyes on Jaehyun.
Your astrology book was open on your coffee table, turned to the page with February 14th at the top. Jaehyunâs name was scribbled, just like Johnnyâs. Two pages filled with notes, with highlighted marks and underlined words. Youâd studied it, when you were younger, grew frustrated at the surface level explanation of someone you knew had so much more depth. Looking at Jaehyun now, trying to read him like your book, it was impossible.
Jaehyun felt lost to you.
You had felt it coming, but the reality of it made the beer you swallowed down even more bitter.
Johnny pulled at your hand, âAlright whatâs the plan for the night.â
There wasnât one - there never was. Hours went by in a blink. Youâd let Johnny mix you nonsensical cocktails, sipped them down in the middle of the mattress and eased yourself into the night. Johnny carried the conversation, kept your attention with every word. Markâs laughter echoed off the walls, mixed with yours and Jaehyunâs, sometimes overpowered them. Jaehyun sat at the piano, watching and listening, looking away whenever you peeked at him.
It was tearing you apart.
Mark was too far gone, six celebratory drinks in and wobbling on his feet when he asked, âYou guys kiss and stuff, right?â
You choked on your own drink, eyes wide, while Johnny laughed and rolled backwards. Heâd sat himself by the windows a while ago, finishing a story and crossing his legs. Mark was near Jaehyun, eyes slow blinking and a lazy smile on his face.
He laughed out a drawn out, drunken, âWhat? Itâs a fair question.â
Jaehyun shifted in his seat, âYouâre drunk, Mark.â
âYeah, obviously.â The youngest was still smiling, shining brightly with mischief while he looked between you and Johnny, âI think you should kiss now.â
âMark, what the hell?â Your own laughed mustâve sounded forced, or maybe just as drunk as his. Still, you slowly shook your head, âWeâre not kissing in front of you.â
âCome on. Why not? When was the last time you kissed?â
Johnny answered for you, glancing at the time, âSix hours ago.â
âSee!â Mark gestured vaguely, excited, using his last wind to make his point, âThatâs way too long. Donât you guys want to?â
Again, Johnny answered, truthfully and certain and with a quick wink, âAlways.â
âThen do it.â
You looked at Jaehyun. He tapped at the piano, eyes down. You were happy - Johnny made you happy and thatâs what Jaehyun wanted. But, you couldnât look away from him, couldnât stand the way he avoided you. Your heart was a lump in your throat, impossible to swallow down. Then, Johnny was in front of your standing at the end of the mattress and reaching out his hand. He smiled, you melted at the sight, the beams of light in his eyes turning you into a puddle, âCome on, baby.â
You thought you might have been the only one to hear it, until Mark squealed. You let the world outside of you and Johnny fade, knowing Jaehyun was in the corner doing the same - fading you out, turning away, closing himself off. You needed Johnny, needed him to hold onto you. So, you took Johnnyâs hand. You let Johnny pull you to him and fall into orbit.
âHi.â You whispered.
He said it back, âHi. Too much?â
âMaybe a little.â
âWe donât have to.â
But you shook your head. Mark was right, six hours felt like too long, after a little more than twenty-four and, âI miss you.â
Johnny laced his fingers in yours, âIâm right here.â
He leaned in, Mark said something like, âTheyâre doing itâ an octave higher than usual, clapping his hands like a seal. Johnny leaned in and you titled your head up to meet him in the middle, letting his lips mold to yours, move with them, just like you had all last night, all day.
Then it was over. Johnny turned to Mark and asked, âHappy?â
And from the way Mark kicked his feet, from the way he jumped up and onto Johnny, you knew he was. You couldnât help but smile, couldnât stop the laugh. Jaehyun was on his feet, stepping around the two of them with a pat on Johnnyâs back, âIâll be back.â
Then he was gone.
Johnny and Mark found a new topic to pick at, collapsing into each other in laughter, in drunken camaraderie. You watched for a moment before finding an excuse with reason, âIâm gonna get some water.â
Then you followed after Jaehyun.
He could hear your footsteps behind him, soft and careful, lingering just over his shoulder. Jaehyun held his breath, fingers fumbling with twisting the lid off the bottle. He couldnât focus on it, his chest tight again, alone in his kitchen with you. Eventually, the metal scraped enough on the glass so the cap fell, clinking against the countertop. Jaehyun ignored it, his breath easing its way out of captivity in his lungs, and poured.
âI submitted my edits.â He didnât turn, the silence between you filled with the sound of whiskey in a tumbler, âLee Haechan has notes.â
His shoulders were stiff, âOh?â
You nodded, silent and knowing he wasnât looking. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your throat, your ears, âHe wants to meet with me.â
Jaehyun only hummed.
âPlease.â You didnât mean to say it. You didnât mean to plead, for Jaehyun to hear it. It seemed fruitless to beg him, to let this silence swallow you up and put more space between the two of you, âIâm sorry.â
âFor what?â He took a sip of his drink, licking his lips, âWe just keep apologizing to each other. For what?â
âI donât know whatâs happening.â
âYouâve said that. Nothing is happening.â His world is crumbling, Jaehyun was lying to you while he was lying in ruins. The haze of alcohol made everything seem slow, heavy, impossible. He turned, leaning against the counter but still looking away, âWeâre all just adjusting.â
âYou said you wanted me to be happy.â
âI do.â
âThen please. Please just be honest with me.â
Jaehyunâs jaw clenched, âI am.â
The circles youâd spun in were wearing you down. Every conversation youâd had with Jaehyun for the last month spiraled the same way, until the ground caved in underneath you - another layer added each time, worse and worse the further down you went. Your heart was aching; if the daylight found you euphoric, the night and the drinks and the way Jaehyun avoided you found you in a state of misery.
The same conversation, the same circles, the same sickening feeling in your gut watching your best friend close himself off. February 14th in your book; distant underlined in black, detached highlighted in neon green. Jaehyun was two feet away and had never been further from you.
Anger replaced hurt long enough for you to say, âYouâre so full of shit, Jae.â
âIâm full of shit?â That was the tipping point. His eyes were on you, zeroed in and pinched in a glare. Jaehyun tilted his head back and let the whiskey slide down his throat, the glass hitting the counter harder than heâd anticipated when he was done, âHas it always been him?â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âJohnny. Has it always been Johnny?â
âNo.â
âItâs just him now, then?â Jaehyun stepped closer, âYou just woke up and decided that?â
You froze, hand at your sides and head tilted, âHow do you think this works?â
âI donât know and you wonât fucking talk to me about it.â
âI canât talk to you about it!â You could hear the music from upstairs and hoped that it was loud enough to drown you out, to mask your explosion, âThis is what happens. I donât know what it is, I donât know what itâs going to be. Thatâs the whole point, Jaehyun. Do you know where all your relationships will go from the start?â
He shook his head, not as an answer. Jaehyun shook his head and rolled it back, letting the debris settle around him, âObviously not.â
âWhy do I need to have so many answers for you?â
âItâs the same fucking thing you did with Sicheng.â It wasnât. He didnât mean it. Jaehyun sought out an escape and latched onto a lie, again. He watched the way your face twisted and immediately wanted to take it back. But, he doubled down, âLook how that ended.â
âWhat the fuck does that have to do with anything?â You didnât wait for him to tell you, stepping back, âYouâre out of your fucking mind. We were kids, Jaehyun.â
He called your name, stepping after you, taking up the space youâd been in before. Jaehyun was overwhelmed by cinnamon, pink pepper, mandarin, âWeâre not kids anymore.â
âExactly.â
Jaehyunâs voice was quiet, âDid you fuck him?â
You stopped, âWhat did you just say?â
âDid you fuck him?â You didnât budge, you didnât answer, you didnât blink. Jaehyun ran his hands through his hair, âThis whole thing is a game.â
Clarity came and went, weaving through your words, the music, the things Jaehyun said. Another layer of the Earth crumbled from another loop, âItâs not and for some reason that bothers you. You just wonât fucking admit it.â
âIt doesnât.â
âWeâre having the same conversation, again, because it does.â
He was in front of you again, wavering again, âI donât want to lose another friend because you want to fuck around.â
Johnny and Mark moved two floors above you, footsteps and laughter loud enough for you to hear in the silence that fell between you and Jaehyun. Fury and confusion mixed like another cocktail for you to swallow, another drink youâd choke down tonight. It was too much, every second, every word, every thought. It was all too much.
You blinked.
Jaehyun watched the tear roll down your cheek, watched it curve at your jaw and felt like he was going to be sick at the sight. He could see his bedroom door, considered how the night wouldâve gone if heâd just gone to bed, cut himself off. Instead, heâd gone too far. Jaehyun reached for you, the most natural thing for him to do, his hand out in front of him. You pulled back. You kept pulling back.
âI didnât mean it.â
âYou said it.â
He said your name again, a broken whisper in the back of his throat, âI didnât mean it. I donât know why I - fuck, thatâs notâŠâ
âYou didnât lose Sicheng. You wonât lose Johnny.â Jaehyun wanted to correct you - thatâs not at all what he was worried about. You kept pulling back and he kept pushing, doing everything he could to ensure heâd lose you. Every step was a misstep. Jaehyun was terrified, stuck in this moment, this loop. Your hand wiped the tear from your face, the ones that followed its path, âBut, until you figure out what you do mean, IâŠI canât keep doing this.â
âDoing what?â
Your arms wrapped around yourself, comforted by Johnny wrapped around you, soothing you in the way Jaehyun would if he could reach. The ground held your attention, eyes cautious in case it gave way, again. You werenât sure how much Earth there was to spare, how much of your foundation you and Jaehyun had left. He watched you shake your head, erase all the thoughts that had you so far away. Then, you told him, âWhatever this is. I don't know who we are anymore.â
Jaehyun couldnât tell you. A little more than twenty-four hours ago, he thought he knew. In a world before he watched you kiss Johnny and feel something, before he saw your face when you really liked it, Jaehyun thought he could figure it out even though, âYou said you felt nothing.â
He didnât know you had heard him, he didnât know heâd said it out loud, until you asked, âWhat?â
So, for the last time, he lied, âI said weâre nothing. Weâre the same as we were.â
âDonât. We keep saying that and then this keeps happening.â You looked at him, for the last time, âFigure it out.â
Then you left. Jaehyun waited until he heard your footsteps join Mark and Johnny. He stood perfectly still in his kitchen, breathing faster and faster with every second until he felt like he couldnât stand anymore. Then, Jaehyun went to bed, freezing.
đ»
A week had gone by quickly and the world adjusted around you, around Johnny, around an ache that still lingered and you tried to push down. A week had passed and you worked hard to find your footing on frosted over pavement, sidewalks that shone under a layer of ice - water from a late night storm. A week had passed and you were suddenly halfway through November, choking down the silence between you and your best friend.
The café helped in filling the quiet, bustling midday while you waited for your faceless author. Your latte cooled in front of you, the steam from it evaporating as the minutes passed by.
Then, he was there - Lee Haechan was exactly how you pictured him and somehow shockingly different. His oversized blazer hung open around him, tan against a plain white shirt and jeans. The black beanie on his head left a dent in his hair when he pulled it off and introduced himself, confirming your name and saying, âNice to meet you.â
âYeah, same.â
His head tilted to the side, eyebrow lifted, âReally?â
âOf course. I really enjoyed your book.â
Haechan laughed, straightening upright, âYou did? You sure had a lot to say about it.â
You balked, âI meanâŠthatâs my job.â
âRight.â He tapped at the table, âI didnât disagree with most of it. Honestly, youâre the first editor that gave me honest feedback. So, I guess I should thank you.â
âI thought this was your first book.â
Haechan nodded, âIt is. Youâre the sixth editor thatâs gone through it, though. Seventh if you count my friend, Sungchan.â
You leaned forward, wrapping your hands around your mug before bringing it to your lips, âWhy so many?â
Haechan easily matched your position, leaning closer and smirking, âEveryone was full of shit.â
âAnd Iâm not.â
He shrugged, âYou might be. But, I liked it.â
He was something else - charming in a way that was almost off putting, confident and calm, âOkay. So, why did you want to meet?â
âTell me about your first love.â
âExcuse me?â
Haechan leaned back again, watching as the waitress set his drink in front of him and crossing his arms, âI write about love. Youâve been in love right?â You nodded, slowly, one eyebrow arched in curiosity. You had no way of knowing where this was going, Lee Haechan was unpredictable, resolute when he asked again, âTell me about it. The first time.â
âOkay, sure.â Youâd spent years avoiding the topic and the last month circling back to it. Your head throbbed at the thought, but you told him, âHe was an exchange student. HeâŠI donât know, the moment I saw him I felt like I just needed to be near him. He was so quiet and reserved, at the time, and it felt like he was a mystery. Does that make sense? Iâd spent my whole life until that point surrounded by the same people and he was so new.â
âA shiny new toy to play with.â
Words that were unintentional knives, poking and prodding at the memory of Jaehyun in his kitchen. The implication that Sicheng was a game, that Johnny was too - Jaehyun had thrown the same knives. And, when they tore at your skin, when his words drew blood, Jaehyun was shocked. Haechan had no way of knowing how his words pierced fresh wounds, how youâd felt them reopen and used your latte to choke down what pain followed. He just watched you, curious as heâd been when he came through the door, and waited for you to speak.
âNo. No, he was more than that. He was, I donât know, bubbly? Vibrant and when he smiled it was like magic.â
âWow.â Haechan sat with that, mulled it over while he sipped on his own drink. He looked at you, after a hard swallow and asked, âIs that Jaehyun?â
Your pulse stopped, veins cold and lifeless, hands squeezing tightly around your mug. Blinking, you begged Haechan for clarification, âWhat?â
âJaehyun.â He took another sip, watching silently as you spiraled, âIs that your first love?â
âNo. Jaehyun isâŠâ The word was lost on you; Jaehyun was ice, he was cold and he was something heâd never been. Jaehyun was supposed to be your best friend, but he was shifting into something else, into a ghost and the thought made you nauseous, âHeâs my friend.â
He hummed, âYou mentioned his name in your notes a few times. I figured it was a reference.â
âHe helped me. HeâŠhe let me read your book to him so I could work out my thoughts. I didnât realize Iâd left his thoughts in, as well.â You looked down into your mug, followed the swirl of the foam, âIâm sorry. That was really unprofessional.â
âI donât mind.â Then, Haechan pushed, asked more from you than you were prepared for, âAre you sure heâs just a friend?â
There was nothing you were less sure of, not in that moment. But you knew what he was implying, you know how his words grabbed at your heart and tried to jumpstart the feeling youâd been chasing for years. That familiar ache you tried to push down. You shook your head, âI have a boyfriend.â
Haechan nodded, âAh.â
Your phone buzzed, nudging a spoon closer to the edge. 12:49pm Come over tonight?
âBoyfriend?â You nodded, âDo you love him?â
âWeâve only been together for a week.â
âOh, I wasnât talking about him.â Haechan pointed to your phone, Johnnyâs message still visible, âLove is strange. Every time I think I understand it, I find a new version somewhere else, in something else or someone else.â
âMaybe itâs not love, then. Maybe itâs infatuation.â
âInfatuation is messy.â Haechan shook his head, âThereâs a purity in love, something untainted and clean about it. Love is a white light, infatuation is something else.â
âWhat do you mean?â
Haechan pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, unfolding it and placing it on the table between you. It was a page from his book, torn from the manuscript and scribbled on. He watched as you read over it; a passage about the love interest, a comment about the main character credited to Jaehyun. Haechan cleared his throat, âJaehyun said the way Sanghoon felt was fleeting. The way itâs described was fleeting, ungrounded.â
âRight.â
âAnd you saidâŠâ Haechan leaned over the paper, himself, fingers tracing along your written notes, âWhat is more akin to love than desire to float away.â
âYeah.â
âWhatâs more pure than a desire to fly? Love should feel like that.â Then he smiled, teasing and wide, âLight in color, light in weight.â
You looked at him, âYou seem like the type to have an opinion on everything.â
Haechan barked out a laugh, âYouâre right. I like talking to you.â
âIâm undecided.â
âFair enough.â He checked his watch, humming at the time before he told you, âI have to go. We should meet again, though. And, really, think about it.â
âAbout what?â
Haechan was standing, securing his hat on his head again and taking another long sip of his drink before he looked directly asked you and repeated, for the second time, âDo you love him?â
đ»
Taeyongâs apartment was warm; pleasantly covered in dim lights dangling from the ceiling, music lilting out of a speaker hidden by bodies in a small crowd. He ushered you in, âHey you.â
His hug was welcome, just as warm as his home, âHey Yong.â
You could hear Markâs laugh, tucked away somewhere around the corner, mixed in with every other sound you had yet to match to a sight. The air was heavy with the smell of food, lingering on Taeyongâs clothes, on the apron tied around his waist. Taeyong slid your coat onto a hanger, put it in the closet and came to stand behind you, âHeâs in the kitchen.â
You looked back at him, âHe told you.â
Taeyong snorted, stepping around you into the apartment, âHeâs telling everyone that will listen. Come on.â
As soon as you rounded the corner, as soon as you were in his line of sight, Johnny saw you. You watched the end of his sentence taper off, the way he stilled his stirring and the conversation heâd been having with Ten. Johnny locked onto you and opened his arms as wide as he could, heart full in his chest, âThereâs my girl.â
You fell into him, breathed him in for the first time in two days - since your meeting with Haechan left you spiraling and Johnny turned spirals into comfortable, comforting spins. He held you close as you mumbled, âHi babe.â
âOh, I get it now.â Johnny held your hands around his waist, locked them there, âI like how that sounds.â
Johnny kissed your lips, Mark broke from his conversation with Yuta to hoot, to holler, to watch you tuck yourself back into Johnny, âJesus.â You pushed your way under Johnnyâs arm, âWhat are you making?â
He shrugged, closing the distance again and wrapping around you from behind, âAsk Taeyong.â
Johnny kissed your neck, palm flat on your stomach, the other guiding you to look back at him again. He wanted to kiss you, it was all he could think about all day. So, he blocked you from Markâs view and moved his lips to yours, âMissed you.â
âSaw you this morning.â Johnnyâs hand slipped down from your chin, down your arm, down to hold your hand in his. Insatiable was the closest to what he felt, âMissed you, too.â
âStay with me tonight.â Johnnyâs breath was hot against your ear, âPlease.â
You hummed an agreement, sighed and leaned further into him, âOkay.â
Ten chopped vegetables behind you, âThere are other rooms for that.â
âYou can join.â He tossed the comment over his shoulder, Ten tossed a slice of carrot over his; laughing when it bounced off Johnnyâs cheek and fell to the floor. Johnny turned back to you, âDid you see everyone else, yet?â
âNot yet.â Youâd placed the spoon back into the pot, stirring the broth that bubbled and popped, âWho is here?â
âYuta, Kun, obviously Mark and Ten.â Johnny looked around the room, âJungwoo is on his way, Yangyang is running late and picking up Renjun.â
His name missing from the list didnât go unnoticed. Do you love him had plagued you for two days. Words from a stranger that had embedded themselves in your brain, clawed at it until you didnât have a choice but to listen. Johnny was warm against you and it was a comfortable distraction. Johnny was careful with you, easing you into view and keeping some things secret for the two of you. I wasnât talking about him.
Part of you knew he wouldn't be here. Jaehyun would put as much distance between the two of you as he could; Taeyong was across the city, Taeyong lived in another world. You thought about asking Johnny to stay at yours tonight, to bring you back to your world and let you hang onto the last bit of closeness you had with Jaehyun. You were spiraling again.
âYou okay?â
You nodded, âKitchen is hot.â
âCome on.â Johnny pulled you from the heat of the stovetop, âTen, can you stir.â
âTell Kun he has to come cut.â
The living room was cooler, by far, louder and filled with interweaving conversations. You followed the end of one conversation and listened as it carried on into another, filling the empty space Kun had left on the couch.
Yuta had dyed his hair fire-engine red since the last time youâd seen him, a vibrant contrast to the layers of black he wore. He was engulfed in his conversation with Mark, elbows on his knees and leaned in. Mark, opposite him, seemed more at ease after his assessment date had passed. His hands moved wildly in front and around him, illustrating whatever he was relating to Yuta.
Taeyong was perched on the armrest of his chair, the one positioned in front of a shelf of his own work. His fingers were stained with paint, fading but always present, as they tapped at the screen of his phone. He looked up, lending his voice to the conversation when it was useful, turning his attention down when it wasnât. Taeyong was similar to Johnny in that way, always moving with intention.
Kun and Ten were chatting in the kitchen, working around each other in remarkable sync. You were sure Ten had a new tattoo, just above his elbow, but he was too far away to tell now. Kun had pushed his glasses down from the top of his head, focused on the dish in front of him.
It made you feel sick, sitting in a space so full of life and still lingering on such an empty feeling. If you sat quietly long enough, youâd get lost in those thoughts. But, Johnny had his hand in yours and, when he could feel your grip loosening, he squeezed his fingers around yours and whispered something beautiful, something sweet. Something so wonderfully Johnny that you went from drifting to floating, only a slight difference between the two.
But it was enough for you to notice.
Kun told you all the food was ready, wiping at his hands with a towel before you all filed into the kitchen. Taeyongâs doorbell rang a second later, he rushed to answer it, âItâs probably Jungwoo.â
Just like Mark, you could hear him before you saw him. Jungwoo came into the kitchen with an announcement spilling from his lips, âI brought a surprise.â
Hope swelled in your chest, head turning and seeking him out. Searching for dimples, for a tugged at tie, for his laugh and his smell and the way heâd look for you, first. Ten spoke up, âDoyoung?â
And your hope shattered.
It was only when everyone filed out of the kitchen, only when you and Jungwoo remained, that you thought to ask, âIs Jaehyun not coming?â
Jungwoo licked at his fingertips, tasting a sauce Kun said was his specialty, âNo. He couldnât make it.â Jungwoo poured a ladle full of soup into his bowl, eyes flicking to you when he asked, âDidnât he tell you?â
You lied, knowing the words fumbled coming out of your mouth. You lied, blinking and focusing on your already full plate. You looked up at Jungwoo and lied, âYeah. Right. I must have forgotten.â
Jungwoo watched you leave the kitchen then, his phone heavy in his pocket with a message from Jaehyun.
8:12pm Tell me how she is.
previous. masterlist. next.
#nct smut#johnny suh smut#jaehyun x reader#nct fluff#nct angst#johnny suh fluff#jaehyun angst#johnny suh x reader#jaehyun x you#johnny suh x you#dhwc
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Redrew that shit (aka my first digital Bright fanart from December 2022)
Hope no one says I got art regression and that the old one is better..... /Ref
#scp#scp foundation#scp doctors#art#fanart#scp fanart#krita#dr bright#jack bright#scp 963#don't tag as shaw or any 963 rewrite#redraw#evan does art#the only thing I like of the old one is all the detail on 963#it's not even that much but I remember taking way too long on it đ#also the hair rendering#i always liled using purple on rendering since I started to draw
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls đ)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Things Iâve learnt whilst being in nyc
#1. when you go to the toilets#the dividers to separate the cubicles are so high up#like I remember putting my bag on the floor#and someone was in the cubicle next to me#and they could literally just swipe my bag if they wanted too đđ#2. the subway is so much better than the bus system#for me personally#the bus system is so hard to navigate especially where the buses are cause sometimes there is construction blocking the way#Iâve only willing taken the bus once because it was quicker and I saw the stop#and even that was an experience in itself#3. doing small acts of kindness are really appreciated#like I was buying food at a takeaway#place and this one lady was really stressed#especially because quite a few people were just being rude#so when I got my food she apologised for the wait and then I said have a nice evening#which she looked kind of taken a back by it#even holding the door for people goes a long way#last one I can think of is đ„đ„đ„đ„#4. for some reason they take tipping separately#I donât know if itâs because we are predominantly paying by card for meals#Iâm assuming it is now that I think about it#but we pay for the food and then they take the card#then they bring a receipt with suggested tips and then we circle which one we want and then leave#first time we did it (since we donât eat out loads) I was scared we didnât pay the tip đđ#because they didnât ask for the card again#and then second time we ate the guy talked me through how to do it#so Iâm assuming the card history stays for some time and then they take the tip#but that is it#gatherrambles#I have a bunch of drafts about me talking about random stuff thatâs happened that I thinkâs interesting which I will post eventually đđ
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
istg one of these days.......
#ya know that post thats like texting lesbians: its throw bowling balls down the stairs day u better be game#one of my fave posts ever in the world#anyway my lesbian flatmate texts like the straight female friend part of that post and i love her but its killing me#its endearing but its so hard not to read it as flirty stoppitttt im already dedicating so much work to repressing this little crush đ#ALSO THAT POST THATS LIKE FLIRTING W GIRLS WILL HAVE U ADDING :3 TO UR TEXTS literally so true but I dont think she means it like that đđ#like she talks to everyone that way I remember when I first met her me + my ex spent ages trying to work out if she was gay#bc we were so sure she had a gay vibe but every text felt like it was pointing the other way..... the vindication when I found out she WAS#anyway my resolve weakens with every đ emoji like im already thinking abt it dont give me any more ideas !!!!#its not even embarrassing anymore like how am i supposed to exist near someone like her WITHOUT ever having a gay thought#so im not sorry if she sees this. i take rejection like a champ dont be shy#but genuinely tho i dont think shes interested shes just cute like that. and idw make things weird cuz we're still living together next yr#itd be suchh a pain if i made things awkward right when we need to find a place. and anyway my best case is our 3rd flatmates WORST#i wouldnt do that to him god forbid#buuuut...... nope ok enough of that im going back to bed its almost 1am#this is what HAPPENS when u have insomnia tuning into the crazy radio every night#need to get onto dating apps and find smth new to distract me before this gets out of hand....... buttttt i dont want to >:|#its ok my patience is infinite i like playing the long game. i was into my ex for 2 and a half years before i made any moves#i can wait this one out too either itll happen eventually or itll pass. we're good#ok thats GOODNIGHT from me if u read this far wow ur nosy arent u...... jk ily sleep well everyone#muah all round#.diaries
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni
#in school i just did the bare minimum a pass was fine and a 3 great#it's insane to think about it how little i did like for a lot of subjects not at all and if i did i'd study like 2 hrs the day before đ#and i thought this was studying hard or if i studied 3 hrs at least whaaat#well for some subjects i did a bit more#but like it is no comparrison#at uni i also did study the day before a few times but then i did an 8hr session#(i might just need to do that tmrw but the thing is the exam is one you can't study for so literary idk what i'd study so long for??)#(or how to study... it's translation but how tf do you study translation it's highly subjective and there are no practice exercises)#(i will probably just look at the notes)#but anyway for my last exam i spent 5 hrs in the library a day and i already started 2 weeks before (altough just in smaller bits)#but bumped it up exam week i did like 2-3hrs on average a day#even if i start too late like i did for one of the hardest test of my studies i only studied for 2 days but like all day or 10hrs sth a day#it by far exceeds the 2hrs lmao and even that was very little for this exam many studied 2 weeks but like i got a good grade so it's okay#but my point is now that i get better grades good one's a C is a massive disappointment for me đ
#unless it was a really difficult one then i'd take it but like it upsets me#a teacher once told me when i got a c on an exam quite a few failed that many would be happy to have that grade well true tbh but i can't#and once i almost cried because i got a C because i thought it was an easy course but it was an oral exam and i'm worse in these#(because in written i often remember the answer later in the exam and then go back but in oral i can't do that)#well that was embarrassingđ i'm trying to never do that again so if i get asked how i feel abt it say it's okay ig#but sometimes even a B is meh đ
especially if an A was possible and it was an easy course/exam#i want more A's less B's tbh B's also because i really want to go abroad and raise my grade average for that#i want to go from a B average to an A something average to improve my chances#but yeah younger me wouldn't believe this đ#i really want to study harder to make that step up to more A's than B's like uni does come quite easy to me#and while i study way more compared to others i still get away with less effort and good results but i could have excellent grades#on the one hand it's good that i improved so much on the other those expectations might not be because i'm almost never satisfied anymore đ
#and i know it's kind of really unimportant because there are real problems and also many uni students struggle to pass their classes#it's maybe even a bit disrespectful because they'd be happy to have these grades and i should be more grateful#but i swear i don't look down on anyone with worse grades i know how difficult it can be and also how outside factors play a role#some have it more difficult some have to work a lot next to uni or really suffer from mental illness besides no one's brain is the same
1 note
·
View note
Text
I reached fuxkinf 30 tags đ
the way heâs shaking oh my god kit heâs so nervous i actually feel like crying just â that whole interaction, the laugh, the tears; everything is so vividly thick with emotion oh my GOD
And he cracks a small smile thinking he might cry too?! OH baby i am đđ then he fucking says it âyou told me to do it scaredâ GOOOOOD KIT THAT FUXKING CALLBACK đđ WHAT IT MEANS đđ how heâs listened to you all this time, how heâs carried that lesson with him for YEARS đđ
So heâs asking u to marry him scared. That youâd say no. That heâs stutterz godgodgodgodgod *head in hands*
and when reader asks have you asked me ? And heâs like, he was gonna have a speech THEN GETS CHOKED UP ABT IT ARE U SRS RN I THINK IM IN LOVE W HIM đđđđ and heâs like âmaybe ill have to save it for laterâ oh GOOOD he rlly would do that. I think heâs just so the type to prepare these things and have it all he thrown to the side in the last minute đ
And its so real so true. You not needing anything else but just him asking it. To hear him say it. Ih god the devotion
And and and an ddint even get me started when he takes your hand, still shaky, runs his thumb across ur ring finger đ„ș dont eeeeven get me started there ill cry aksmdkdnn and he says âok ill do itâ oh my fod biggest dork ever i love him
GET ON WITH IT HAJIME đđđđ
Then he kisses where the ring would be đđ„șđđ then looks up at you even while youre scared đđđ will you marry me murmured into your knuckles oh my god ig my gohs skisbssinsiensincjrnd im gonna pass oUTTTG
Holding himself uprigjt to kiss u properly? Oh i would rusjsjdjdjdjdndn
And their banTER AFTER. How he places the rinf on you. THE BAAAANTERRRRR
His eyes are so soft that you knkw theyre for you <- ARE U KIDDING ME RN . RU FUCKING KIDDING ME RN đđđđđđđđđđ im waging wars for him . Flinging myself across the ocean
KIIIIIT I LOVED THIS SO MICH as you can tell lol im barely coherent but like . I loved this so much i have no words
you told me to do it scared
Iwaizumi was sixteen when he lost all of his fear.
He doesnât really remember exactly what it was that the two of you were talking about, or when, but he remembers how his voice echoed in the alleyway home â the shortcut, he called it.
Iwaizumi remembers rambling and he remembers that you let him; you were never one to cut him off. He was a good listener, as it could be especially hard to get a word in around people like his group of friends, but you?
Around you? He couldnât shut up.
He was rambling on and on about something â he forgets what, but it was big for his sixteen-year-old self. Nerve-wracking.
âAre you done?â he remembers you asking, side-eyeing him as you walked.
âUh, yeah. Iâm done.â
âGreat. What are you even worried about, Hajime?â
(He still doesnât know what. It turns out that you were right, and it was so insignificant that he canât even remember what was bothering him to this day.)
âI donât know. Rejection. Failureââ
âOh, please,â you scoffed. âYes, because Hajime Iwaizumi is known for failing.â
He furrowed his brows. âDonât be mad that Iâm nervous.â
âScared, Haji.â
âIâm notââ
(You gave him a look and he shut his mouth.)
âSo what?â he asked then, dropping his hands in his pockets. You never really knew why he was so good with you, why he talked so much â you never dared question it. âHow do I get over it and just do it?â
You smile, shaking your head.
âYou donât get over it. You do it scared.â
âWhat?â
âFake it âtil ya make it, Haji.â
(Iwaizumi doesnât remember what he did, but he knows he did it terrified; he did it well, too. Passed the test, won the game, cleared the hurdle, got the job. Whatever it was.)
Iwaizumi was sixteen when he lost all of his fear. Heâs twenty-eight when it all comes crawling back.
By now, heâs more than a decade older with a bunch of fearlessness under his belt, from spiders put back outside to funny noises in the yard. Heâs carding his fingers through your hair on the couch you both picked out, and he hasnât been this scared in a really, really long time.
(Probably not since you told him that he just needed to do it.)
Iwaizumi is scared because, for the first time in the three months heâs been carrying your ring in his pocket, he really wants to fucking give it to you.
Heâs always wanted to â no shit, itâs why he bought it â but tonight is the first time he wants to ask you. He doesnât just want to picture it on your finger, he wants to feel it against his hand when he holds yours.
The same movie youâve seen four times plays on the TV. Youâre leaned right against him; your eyes are heavy, youâve yawned a few times.
Half of him wants to do it, half of him knows itâs late.
Itâs just â itâs you in his shirt, in his sweatpants, in his arms. He has been yours for way too long to not have done this sooner, but neither of you have ever been in a rush to do anything.
Until now, half past midnight on your long weekend and all he wants to do is plan a wedding.
Iwaizumi canât even sit in his imagination for long, because soon enough youâre sitting up with a look of confusion and youâre lifting his hoodie up, putting a hand over his heart.
âWhat?â he says, half a breath and half a laugh.
You look ⊠concerned. He canât tell whether he thinks itâs cute or distressing. âYou donât feel that?â
âFeel what?â
âHajime, your heart is racing.â
âIs it?â he asks. He sets his hand beside yours. âNope, donât feel it.â
You roll your eyes, yanking his sweater back down as you sit at his side. âWell, something is making you two steps away from arresting right here. Spill before I call an ambulance.â
âItâs nothing, seriously. Watch the movie, will you?â
âBut Iâm nosy, damnit. Donât you know me at all?â
God, so fucking well. Somehow, not well enough. Tell me more. Tell me everything I already know.
âItâs nothing!â
âHajime,â you say, and finally your voice is stern. âWhatever you want to say, you know I could never be mad at you for it.â
Iwaizumi takes a deep breath. The box in his pocket feels like itâs made of fucking lead.
âIââ
âStop. It.â
(He does. He stands up instead.)
âOkay, wait,â you start again, âI didnât mean leave.â
âGive me a second, damn,â he groans, dusting off his pants, checking itâs still there. Of course itâs still there, but if it wasnât, this would be bad.
Iwaizumi knows you deserve a thousand flowers and a candle-lit beach, and maybe heâll give you both. But heâs neck-deep and the water is rising; itâs now or within the next hour, really.
âHey, are you alright? Youâre pale,â
âIâm fine,â he reassures you. Iwaizumi kneels in front of the couch.
âHajime,â you say again, face contorted in worry. âSeriously, are youâ?â
You donât just trail off, you jump off the road.
In one of his hands is a box. A small one, fitting for a ring. His other hand rests on your knee.
âAre youââ
ââdead serious? Yeah,â he says, sounding way less strong than he looks. âI am.â
He opens the little box, showing you whatâs inside. Itâs in your colour, a pretty diamond glistening beneath the warm light of your table lamp and the movie. You swear you even mentioned that shape once, probably years ago.
âNo,â
âYeah,â he says, âyes.â
âAre you serious?â you whisper, feeling your tears jerk to the surface, rimming your eyes. You rest a hand on his.
Heâs shaking.
âHajime,â you laugh, wiping a hand under your eye. âYouâre shaking.â
He sighs.
âI know,â he nods. Iwaizumi cracks a small smile â he thinks he might cry, too. âYou told me to do it scared.â
Your brows furrow and unfurrow in the matter of a few seconds. Yeah, you did say that.
(You were sixteen and talking about less major things, but you did say that.)
âSo Iâm doing it,â he finishes. âScared.â
âScared of what?â
He shrugs. âThat Iâd stutter when I ask you to marry me. Or that youâd say no.â
You smile. âHave you asked me?â
âNot yet. I was gonna make a speech, but I,â he slows. He stops â he has to, heâs getting choked up. âI might have to save it for later.â
âI donât want a speech, I wanna hear you say it.â
âYeah?â
âYeah.â
âOkay,â he says. Iwaizumi takes your hand in his shaking hold, his thumb swiping over the top of your ring finger. âIâm gonna do it now.â
âGet on with it, Hajime.â
Youâre unmistakably excited.
Iwaizumi kisses where the ring will be if you tell him yes. Scared and all, he looks up at you.
(He speaks the words youâve been waiting for into your skin. Will you marry me? murmured into your knuckles.
You donât even tell him yes. Not coherently, anyway.)
You throw yourself into his chest and he has to hold himself up against the coffee table behind him to kiss you upright.
âYes,â you answer again, over and over. âEven if you were scared to ask.â
âIt just means I love you, doesnât it?â he murmurs, taking your hand and moving it back in front of him. He slips your ring onto your finger. âJust scared on the off chance you were gonna spit in my faceââ
âShut up,â
âHey, donât talk to your fiancĂ© like that.â Iwaizumi hesitates, looking up from the ring to your face. His eyes are so soft that you know theyâre for you. âThat has a ring to it, doesnât it?â
âFiancĂ©,â you repeat. Husband to be.
âYeah. That does sound pretty good, doesnât it?â
âJust imagine how I think fiancĂ©e sounds, honey.â
âAnd look â you didnât even stutter.â
âOh, come oââ
âCareful what you say, now. Happy fiancĂ©e, happy life, Hajime.â
âI donât think thatâs the saying, but okay.â
note; tagging @shotorus because this is your man :3 happy late birthday sel!
#pls read this#hq!!#hajime#oh my god kit. oh my god. KIT. the way i cried reading this. and for u to dedicate this to me too oh my god im actually BAWLINGN#the title alone has me by the throat i swear to god!!!!!! i love premises like that.#him rambling and you let him? oh my heart cant take this cANNOT and the idea of exceptions !!! of acting diff around you oh GOD#how heâs a listener w his friends but w you wont shut up ?!?!! IM ACHINF . i love that so much and is such a darling resd on him đ#i truly think heâd only be super talkative w people hes super close to/feels safe being that way with đ#i also think he looks calm and put together all the time bur is lowkey a worryrat and srsly considers EVERYTHING. đ i think heâs like oikawa#and i love how he cant even remember what it was â bc it was that insignificant !!! EXACTLY !!!#also calling him haji? PRICELESS . my heart will burst and die . my absolute FAVOURITE nickname for him oh my god#whatever it was â he did it terrified <- KIT PLS I LOVE THAT SO MUCH . i looove that . because hajime is an image of tenacity for me#he persists and persists despite being scared . despite it being hard . oh ym fod your characterisation of him here i could actially cry#YOU ARE SO RIGHT about spiders and noises . he is def the guy to call đ goes out w a slipper for roaches too đđ#but my god seeing him scared now at 28 its !!!!!! doing smth to me !!!!! aching my heart !!!! twisting it#and FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 3 MOS HEâS CARRYING THE RING AND HE RLLY WANTS TO GIVE IT TO YOU HelllOOOUGHHHH ?!?!! IM FUCKING CRYINF#no shiTTTY UTS WHY HE BOUGHT IR đ he doesnt just want to picture it he wants to feel it <- oh my god kit if i could just . please . CRYING .#you in everything that is him and him being yours for way too long oUGH i loved that line sk much kit gonna have it tattooed on my ribcage#half past midnight on your long weekend and all he wants to do is plan your wedding đđđđđđ#and how he cant tell whether you look cute or distressing . UR HONOUR HES IN LOVE jakdjd i adore the bits abt his heart racing toođđđđ#its so cute and reader is so sweet and hajime is soooooo hajime đđđ how heâs so nervous oh my god please give him to me#âis it ? nope dont feel itâ PFTTTT TKAMSKDJD LOSER snjxjd kit u know how much i love ur dialogue aksnjd their banter and chemistry is so cur#cute* & omg how he knows u so fuckif well. sometimes not enough. tell him more . everythinf he alr knows . oh god#if intimacy could be explained in a single paragraph kit. it would be that. sjznsjd hes so nervous i want to squish him#how he checks if its still there?!?! give me a sec dammit?? ph my god and how he truly wants to give u more bc u deserve more but HE CANT#HE JUST CANT HELP IT . HES SRSLY THINKING FK IT . hes neck deep and the water is rising đđđđ#and the exchange if disbelief oh my god kit i love love love raw moments snd this feels so real . so unrehearsed . UGH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS#the fuckin BOX WHILE HIS Hnd rests on ur knee oh my fod illc ry âdead seriousâ he answers too quickly akdjsj less strong than he looks!!!#im crying . the shape the diamond the everythinf akxnjs the thought he put into it for you oh god i could CRY .#the gradual transition to tears !!!!! even when youâre saying the same thinf âare you serious?â oh god i could cry i am actually crying
951 notes
·
View notes
Text
it was always you.
for as long as you remember, youâve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because thatâs what happens when life naturally takes it courseâyou grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.
so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason heâs asking you isnât due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks heâs doing you a big favor.
or at least, thatâs what you think.
pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 13.2k
rating: 18+
content: fluff, semi-angst, childhood friends to lovers au, pining au | ft. naval aviator!jungkook + brotherâs best friend!jungkook; professor!reader + editor!reader | inspired by purple hearts
warning/s: swearing, potentially wrong medical & military information (iâm sorry but i tried to do as much research i can đ), mentions of having type 1 diabetes, making out, heavy petting, implied sexual content: oral (f. receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (this is only fiction!)
MINI PLAYLIST: â« die with a smile â lady gaga, bruno mars â« juno â sabrina carpenter â« selfish â *nsync â« nandito na ako â benj pangilinan, angela ken
opening note. omg this is my first full length fic in two damn years i think??? certainly took a long time before i had the motivation to write again but i hope y'all like this! to my og readers who still keep up with my shenanigans, this one's for you đ„čđ
âAny questions?â
A boy wearing half-rimmed glasses raises his hand and you gesture for him to speak. âCan we get an extension on the Save the Cat project due tomorrow?â
You sigh, just as several of your students begin agreeing with him and muttering reasons of their own why the extension should be approved. Itâs the week before finals, and youâre aware that the class must be packed with assignments and projects for several of their classes because of it, hence the rather last minute request. They look tired and pleading, a complete reflection of how you were when you were the one in their position nearly a decade ago, begging for an extension from a professor who you thought was kind enough to be swayed with the proposition.
You scan the crowd. âHow many of you are at least 70% with it, hm?â
More than half of the class raises their hands.
âOkay, thatâs honestly unexpected,â you say, pleased to know that they arenât slacking on your subject. âDoes Monday sound good? Thatâs three more days, to be fair. I donât want to extend it further because I have to read everyoneâs work and you guys know I donât like rushing it before turning in your final grade.â
A chorus of relief and thanks echoed in the room, all of your students either dramatically sinking in their chair or erupting in an animated conversation with their seatmate or making crying faces to portray how grateful they are.
âThank you so much, Ms. ____!â
âI love you, Ms. ____!â
âMs. ____, I will offer my first child to you,â one theatrically adds and you smile a bit, rolling your eyes at students like this one who is now opting to flatter you way too much for your act of kindness.
âAlright, alright. Just get it done and Iâm expecting quality work, okay? Class dismissed.â
The whole class begins to gather their things at the cue and you donât stay there a minute longer after your announcement, exiting the lecture hall to head to the faculty room where youâre certain half of the teaching staff have gone home already. Itâs already 8:47 p.m., and all you want to do is head home to get the rest you deserve after an eventful day.
There was a time that having a schedule from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. wasnât the norm for you. You used to value work life balance so muchâit was even a nonnegotiable you used to say in interviews, saying that if you didnât get enough rest within the week, then the job most likely wasnât for you. But things have been very different for the past months; you have definitely grown out of that mindset due to the fact that youâre simply in need of another source of income to pay for your monthly rent, utility bills, and now your medication. Youâre in a stage of your life wherein you consider working part time as a professor was a blessing rather than a big nuisance.
Making a right turn to where the hallway to the faculty room is, youâre too busy rearranging the papers inside the folder youâre holding to notice a man sitting on the bench placed just beside the entrance. He notices you the second you appear in his line of vision though; he straightens his posture and proceeds on standing up immediately upon seeing you closer, calling your name softly when you failed to look at his direction, too preoccupied with the thought of finally coming home that youâre oblivious that the man trying to catch your attention is Jeon Jungkook.
â____,â he calls again and this time you notice him, your eyes widening instantly.
âHoly shiââ You stop yourself from finishing that sentence. âJungkook?â
He grins. âHey, lamb chop.â
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â
âIs that how you greet an old friend?â
âOh, fuck off.â
He laughs, following suit to you whoâs already giggling just by his presence alone, outstretching his arms then. âYou gonna hug me or what?â
You beam and step forward to embrace him. He returns it without hesitation, muscular arms circling around you and squeezing tightly that it lifts you up from the ground for a quick second. The faint smell of fabric conditioner on his clothes enters your nostrils and you feel like a teenager again, warmth rushing to your face while your heart hammers loudly in your chest. Regardless of how old the both of you are, you think your hopeless crush on the guy will forever live on and constantly transform you into a middle school girl whenever opportunities like these to have him near arise. Youâre just happy youâve trained yourself to be better at hiding it now compared to when you were younger.
âArenât you supposed to be in base or wherever it is that youâre designated?â you ask, the first to let go from the hug.
âActually, I returned from deployment three days ago. Iâm on leave for two weeks.â
âWow. Two weeks, huh?â
âYep. Itâs the longest break Iâve gotten in a while.â
âThatâs good. Everybody needs a break from time to time.â
âSays the girl has a day job and a night job.â He points out with a smirk; your heart does a little leap at how handsome he looks doing that. âWhen the hell did you get into teaching, by the way? I never pegged you to be the kind who can tolerate it. You hate kids.â
âYouâll find yourself tolerating lots of things in this economy.â You snort. âAnd my students arenât kids. Theyâre in college.â
âYeah, which you graduated from six years ago. Still technically kids.â
âAre you seriously jabbing at my age when youâre two years older than I am?â
He rolls his eyes at that one, an indication that you won the argument. âAnyway,â he starts again and you grin, âI didnât come here to compare how old we areââ
âYou didnât?â
He sends you a look. Your grin gets even wider.
âIâm here because I was hoping to treat you to dinner.â
âDinner?â you repeat, not masking the surprise from your voice.
Letâs get the facts straight before we proceed to this conversation.
It isnât a lie when you say that you and Jungkook are great friends. You have been since you were 7 and your family just moved into the house next to theirs. He was a natural playmate, a companion when you couldnât tolerate the antics of your older brother, the boy who looked out for you aside from said older brother, and the person youâve shared significant history with throughout your youth that you can never seem to forget nor disregard.
Itâs just that you never deemed that you were great enough friends for him to go out of his way and visit you at your workplace, offering to treat you for dinner. Gestures like that were reserved for your older brother, Seowon, whoâs the same age as he is and who youâre sure is considered as his best friend. Compared to them, yours and Jungkookâs dynamic shifted slightly after graduating from college. What once was a really close friendship turned into a casual one, with mostly just teasing, light talks, and the occasional welfare checks at times you hear certain news from the other thatâs worth speaking directly about.
At the mention of that, realization dawns on you on why he must be here.
âJungkookâŠâ Youâre trying not to sound mad but you canât hide the exasperation from your voice. âThatâs not the real reason youâre here.â
âOf course, it is. Why else would I be here?â
âHe told you, didnât he?â you ask, not willing to drag this out. âYouâre just going to give me another lecture that I definitely donât need.â
Jungkook frowns, like heâs dismayed that you caught on pretty swiftly.
âIâm right, arenât I?â You pressed.
âHe meant well, ____.â
You scowl. To remark that Seowon is unnecessarily nosy and coddling would be an understatement. That man hasnât left you alone the second he was aware of your condition. Usually, whenever he gets into his âbig brother tendenciesâ, his girlfriend Winnie steps in and helps you lay him off your back. However, itâs different this time; no matter how much you reinstill your independence and insist that youâre fine, itâs like youâre talking to a wall.
âWhat exactly did you hear from him?â you query.
He seems hesitant in answering that. âThat you got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.â
You wince.
âLook,â he steps forward towards you, âI wasnât going to bring it up unless you did, okay? Iâm just here because Iâm genuinely worried about you and I want to know how youâre doing.â
âIâm fine.â You murmur. âYou donât need to worry.â
âWorry doesnât vanish magically just because someone says so.â
âWell, it shouldâbecause Iâm fine.â
âYou sure? I heard that youâre struggling to buy insulin among other things youâre having a hard time paying.â
âFuck. Seowon told you that too? Thatâs private.â
âMy parents know. He just filled me in because he wants you to have as much support as you can get.â
âI donât need that. Iâm an adult. Iâve lived by myself for years. I can fend for myself just fine.â
âIt doesnât look like it from what Iâve been hearing.â
âAll youâre hearing is a warped and exaggerated version of the story told by Seowon who wonât listen to a word I say.â You huff. âIâm fine and Iâve been doing everything I can, alright? Iâm taking care of myself. Iâm going to the doctor whenever I need to. Iâm making ends meet, buying treatment for this goddamn disease and regulating my sugar levels all the fucking time. Why do you think Iâve been working two jobs for the past year? Itâs because Iâm doing everything I can to stay alive.â
Jungkook doesnât reply, he only remains gazing at you.
âIf youâre here to offer me money or whatever because of what he said,â you add, already embarrassed that you canât even look at him anymore, âthen I donât want it.â
âThatâs not what Iâm here for,â he says.
âThen are you really just here to treat me to dinner?â you question sarcastically.
He laughs and you dare return your eyes at him, catching him peering at you with a fond expression. âYes. Itâs my way of doing a welfare check.â
âWelfare check.â You echo with squinted eyes. âWell, in that case, here I amâalive and healthy.â
âI can see that, and Iâm glad.â He smiles. âBut I need more than just seeing you. I need a conversation and an apology.â
âAn apology?â
âFor being the last person to know about your condition.â
âAnd weâre still talking about that apparently.â You mutter under your breath. âSorry. I didnât think that you wanted to know.â
âOf course, I would have wanted to know. Itâs you weâre talking about here.â
Something about how he said you causes your lips to twitch as you fight off a smile. This isnât a good time to dive into your romantic feelings for your childhood crush, but when heâs letting go of lines like that which are sure to have your heart soaring out of your chest, itâs hard to keep on a cool and unfazed facade. You just convince yourself that he sees you as a little sister and thatâs why heâs so worried; you should already be past your âdeluluâ phase at this age to be affected by such statements.
âI didnât want to add to your worries,â you reason. âYou already have your life to think about. Add to the fact that youâre a naval aviatorâso you literally have your own life first to think about.â
âI can make space for you.â
Is he flirting? Is this a normal thing to say between friends?
You blink. âOkay, uh, thatâs⊠thatâs completely up to you, I guess.â
âI just like knowing those things first hand. It makes me worry less.â
âGot it. Next time I learn Iâm dying, Iâll tell you.â
â____,â he says your name in warning, and you know heâs serious.
âSorry.â You heat up. âI couldnât resist.â
âDonât be a pain in the ass.â
âI promise thatâll be the last time I make a dark joke, Lieutenant.â
Jungkookâs nostrils flare. You prevent yourself from grinning like a fool again in success of getting on his nerves.
âAre you done here? Because Iâm hungry and would really like to get going now.â He changes the subject and gestures to the faculty.
âYeah. Iâll just get my things and then I can get out of here.â
âGreat. Youâre letting me take you to dinner, right?âÂ
âDo I have a choice?â
âNo.â
âFine.â You deadpan.
This time, heâs the one whoâs beaming at you. âIâll wait for you here and we can go.â
âOkay.â
****
When Jungkook discovered that you had type 1 diabetes through a phone call with Seowon, he spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, ignoring the snores of his squadmates and overthinking whatâs supposed to happen to you now that you had an autoimmune disease which he was told didnât have a cure. He was assured that you were okay despite it, that there was medication to treat it, and that you had access to them and have been very careful with your lifestyle due to the diagnosis ever since.
He still couldnât be put to ease though. As ridiculous as it may sound, he had this overwhelming realization that life truly was short, that you had to make certain decisions all the time because you need to adjust to what the universe is only willing to give you. It was funny coming from a person who risked his life for a living. He thinks that perhaps he never understood the philosophy of the quote âtime is goldâ until he had a loved one on the same trajectory, always one step closer to possible death.
And so that same night, he decided to file a leave for two weeks, effective immediately after his deployment.Â
He wasnât sure what his game plan was exactly in filing that two-week leave. Was he supposed to barge in your life and force you to let him take care of you? Was he supposed to demand why you ended up having diabetes? Was he supposed to act as a big brother like your actual big brother because he was that worried about you? But if Jungkook was going to be truthful, he already had an idea on what he wanted to do in the back of his headâhe just didnât want to execute it because it was absolutely insane.
Until he heard Seowon suggest it himself when they met up at a bar to share a drink together.
âShe would never say yes,â Jungkook said, beyond doubt that you wonât be persuaded that easily with a plan like that.
Seowon made a face. âI know. That girl is so hyper independentâsheâd rather die than accept help.â He scoffed. âShe needs it though. Itâll help with her medication and she wonât have to pay rent for that shit apartment sheâs living in. Plus, she'll actually get the chance to take care of her body if sheâs not juggling two jobs to have sufficient income.â
âYouâre right.â Jungkook shrugged.
âYouâll do it then?â
He took a sip of his beer. âYeah. Iâd do anything for ____, you know that.â
âEven as crazy as marrying her?â
âSure.â
Seowon stared at him, narrowing his eyes and morphing his expression into a teasing one. âAre you sure youâre not just considering this because itâs a perfect excuse to marry my sister? I know you like her.â
âI donât like her.âÂ
âYouâre in love with her.â
âI donâtââ Jungkook began to deny but Seowon was staring him down. âFuck you, man. Donât make me some kind of pervert whoâs trying to lock her into marriage because he likes her. Youâre the one who brought the idea up.â
Seowon laughed out loud. âI know, I just canât believe youâd agree. Itâll benefit ____, thatâs for sureâyou, on the other hand? Itâs career suicide.â
He shrugged. âIâm okay with the thought that sheâll be okay.â
âBecause you love her, man.â Seowon pushed. âWhy on earth would you consider this if you werenât? Itâs a fraudulent marriage. Youâll be thrown in the brig and be dishonorably discharged if you get caught.â
âWe donât even know if sheâll agree to this whole thing. You said it yourself, she would never say yes.â
âYeah, unless maybe youâre the one who tries to persuade her.â
âMe?â
âYes.â
âDo you want me to buy her a ring and kneel down before her or something?â
âThat can work.â
âWhat?â Jungkook laughed.
Seowon raised an eyebrow. âDonât tell me you donât know how sheâs been crushing on you since we were kids.â
He barked out a laugh again. That he knew; it was impossible not to when a lot of friends and cousins kept on teasing you before, especially at instances Jungkook was in the very same vicinity. âWeâre not kids anymore and I barely see her though.â
âStill, it ought to count to something. It raises the chances of her agreeing.â
âYouâre really cool with me marrying your sister, Won?â Jungkook asked.
Seowon placed down the beer bottle heâs consuming on the counter. âYeah. Youâre a good guy. Youâre not perfect, but I know you enough to know that you wonât do anything that will purposely hurt her. Besides, if this sham marriage ends up to be a real relationship and then for some reason, you fuck up and decide to break her heartâIâll easily know what to do, where to find you, and then Iâll do everything I can to fuck you up.â
Jungkook pressed his lips together to stifle a chuckle.
âNoted.â
****
Itâs always been a big wonder to you how no matter how long itâs been since you saw each other, it still feels like no time has passed between you and Jungkook. You think thatâs why you can never get over him; he always had this comforting and familiar aura that you appreciateâsomething that you sought for in every other person that you liked. Maybe it was impractical, maybe it was the reason you can never hold a relationship for more than two years, but unless you gain the courage to confront your feelings and tell Jungkook about it, then you constantly dispel any doubts you might have whether this was good for you or not.
You donât want to lose him. Admitting that you harbored romantic feelings for him would just make it awkward for everyone: your brother, your family, and then his family. You donât think you can ever trade his smile, the sound of his laughter, and all the good things about him for anything in the world.Â
âAre you dating anyone?â he asks.
You choke on your drink, having just poured yourself and Jungkook a glass of water after the server arrived with the pitcher. Youâre in a Japanese restaurant near the university, aware that the cuisine was a favorite for the both of you hence why itâs what you recommended when he asked where you wanted to dine. The place is packed with people from the workforce and students; youâre thankful that you donât see any of your students within the mix.
âWeâre getting straight to it, huh?â you say.
Jungkook smirks. âIâm just making sure Iâm not upsetting a boyfriend by meeting you tonight.â
âDonât worry, youâre not upsetting anyone.â
He nods in understanding. You donât want to add more meaning to his actions for the evening but he seems glad about the information.
âHow about you?â you ask back. âAre you dating anyone?â
The ends of his mouth lift a bit upwards. âNope.â
âWhy? You donât have the time for it?â
âPrecisely.â
âIt must be really hard dating when youâre in the Navy then.â
âKinda. Weâre away a lot and stationed in different places most of the time. It can get really dangerous for us too and people donât like the stress that comes with that.â
 You bob. âDoes it get lonely?â
âSometimes, but when youâre on duty, you donât get to think about those things.â He chuckles. âBesides, I donât know if this sounds fucked up or notâbut it can get exciting. Flying a plane can be fun, you know. Not to mention that it helps when youâre surrounded by good men in your squadron.â
âYouâve always been an adrenaline junkie.â
âAnd youâve always been a scaredy-cat.â
You scoff at the declaration. âNo, Iâm not.â
âRemember when Seowon and I forced you to ride that ship in the amusement park that sways left to right and as it goes on it falls from a higher standpoint?â
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
But you do, and Jungkook knows you do, itâs evident by how your expression is trying to feign innocence. That memory is your villain origin story; the whole pretext of why you refuse to ever visit the amusement park or ride an exhilarating ride again. Yet you canât help but recall that itâs one of the rare instances wherein you got to hold Jungkookâs hand when you two were younger, as his hand was the one you were clinging for dear life when it happened while the other was too busy slapping Seowon in irritation.
He snickers, appearing like heâs replaying the scene in his head. âWe should do that again with Seowon during my break.â
âHell no.â
âI thought you werenât a scaredy-cat?â He challenges.
âIâm not.â You give him a kittenish glare. âBut I am busy. I have to send the final manuscript of this book Iâm editing to the chief editor next week and itâs about to be finals week for my students as well.â
He fakes a shiver. âI donât know how you can do two jobs like that, ____. Truly.â
âYou work as a naval aviator so Iâd say weâre pretty even.â
The waiter arrives with your orders not long after, and you and Jungkook carry on with your conversation, jumping from topic to topic without difficulty. Youâre not certain when was the last time you saw each other like this to have so much to talk aboutâwas it last Christmas? Or was it more recent or longer than that? Nevertheless, it feels good and you find yourself blushing multiple times throughout the night, whether itâs because of how his words can have two meanings or how his eyes are staring at you so intensely whenever youâre the one whoâs talking.
You like the undivided attention, the back and forth thatâs occurring as you discourse, the subtle touches one of you does when something funny arises, how your knees are touching underneath the table. You wonder whatâs so different with this encounter that the energy feels so bizarre in a good way? As far as youâre concerned, youâre positive that youâre acting like you always have in his presenceâlively, smiley, sarcasticâand aside from the little touches of flirting here and there, Jungkookâs acting like he always has too.
When dinner was done, Jungkook offered to drive you home. You obliged, no longer in the mood to annoy him for you were tired to make the effort. Before stepping outside the restaurant however, you excused yourself to the restroom first, checking your blood sugar with the glucose meter you brought along wherever you went. Itâs a hassle but itâs necessary, largely because youâre still in the middle of saving up for the insulin pump that would help you regulate your sugar levels easier.
After administering yourself with the insulin injection you have, you spend a few more seconds inside the enclosed room. You should be past the point of feeling sorry for yourself, but itâs times like this wherein youâre with a loved one that the dejection hits and you wish that youâre in a better predicament than you are right now. Youâre close to being broke, youâre overworked, youâre somehow fatigued all the fucking timeâthose factors arenât soothing your worries at all. Itâs a miracle how you manage to keep an optimistic mind amidst everything.
âReady to go?â Jungkook smiles at you once youâre back at the table and you nod, clutching your bag tighter against your body and following him to his car.
He drives you to your place, turning the radio on, and letting it play while the both of you sit in silence. Youâre both tired and you almost even sleep during the ride. Itâs only when Jungkook gently shakes you awake that you realize that youâve arrived in front of your apartment building.
âIâll walk you up,â he insists as youâre unbuckling the seatbelt.Â
âThatâs no need, Kook.â
âOf course, it is,â he says. âIâll walk you up. Thatâs nonnegotiable.â
So, you allow him.
It takes five minutes tops to reach the door leading to your apartment. As you rummage through your bag to grab your keys, Jungkook patiently stands there, occasionally glancing around the hallway and even smiling when the old lady that resided in the same floor got out of her room to throw out the trash. He receives a smile in return which you notice and grin fondly at.
âWell, this is me.â You turn to him, done unlocking your door. âIâd invite you inside but you should probably get going. Itâs quite a long drive back home.â
âYeah.â He breathes out a chuckle. âHey, tonight was fun. It made me realize how I missed you.â
Your brain temporarily malfunctions; you force yourself to recover quickly. âMe too. I had fun tonight. Maybe we should do this again whenever youâre on a break.â
âAgreed.â
You flash him a smile. âYou can go now. Goodnight.â
Jungkook nods, however doesnât move a muscle. Heâs looking at you, like really looking at you, his eyes moving from one feature to another, as if heâs memorizing your face or having a hard time arranging the words he wants to say. You guess itâs the latter, familiar with a tongue-tied Jungkook that it takes you a few good seconds before youâre demanding why heâs impersonating a mannequin.
âThereâs something I want to say,â thatâs what he utters and you almost snort due to your assumption being right.
âOkayâŠâ The smile is still on your lips. âWhat is it?â
âPromise me you wonât get mad first.â
âWell, if youâre making me promise that then itâs probably worth being mad about.â
âItâs not as bad as you think.â
âThatâs not convincing at all.â
âItâs justâŠâ He begins and trails, biting his lower lip, âitâs⊠itâs why I went here. Why I went here to see and meet you, I mean.â
You unconsciously recoil at the revelation. Itâs certainly a rookie mistake to believe that there was no ulterior motive in Jungkook meeting you today. You just didnât reckon youâd actually be truly disappointed at thatâat the idea that he just didnât randomly decide to visit and be with you earlier until now.
You draw a long breath. âWell, I knew you werenât just feeling generous and wanted to treat me to dinner out of nowhere.â
Thereâs a pause and then he resumes. âJustâbefore I say it, you have to hear me out, okay? You have to let me explain before you berate me.â
âI canât promise that either.â
âYou have to.â
âWhy do I have to?â
âBecause what Iâm about to say is for your own sake. You know I always have your best interest at heart, donât you?â
You wrinkle your forehead in further confusion. âCan you just get on with it? The vagueness is making me more annoyed.â
âI just donât want you to misunderstand.â
âMisunderstand what?â
âWhat Iâand Seowonâgenuinely think is the best option.â
âOh, and Seowon is in on this too?â You bellow. âHave you and Seowon just been conspiring behind my back the whole time?â
âCalm down.â Jungkook puts his hands on your shoulders, a chuckle inevitably escaping him. âIâm sorry for dragging it out. You should know Iâm high key afraid of you, thatâs why.â
âYou should be.â You grumble.
Another chuckle, but heâs back to appearing anxious. You want to shout that this isnât healthy, that youâre close to giving him a real reason to be afraid of youâyet once he blurts the confession out, youâre speechless, gawking at him and staggering backwards in complete shock. Perhaps you would have bolted as far away from him as possible if not for his solid grasp.
âWhat?â You hiss.
He swallows hard.
âI want you to marry me, ____.â
You donât bolt away running. You shake off his hold on you though, and before he gets another word in, youâre hastily rushing inside your apartment and slamming the door to his face.
****
Jungkook was your first kiss.
It happened in a game of truth and dare. You were at a party of a mutual friend and when the bottle miserably pointed in Jungkookâs direction, the person who was tasked to think of his dare when it was his pick said that he dared him to do 7 minutes in heaven with you.Â
He profusely refused at first, especially since Seowon was in the same party, but everybody began booing and next thing you know, Jungkook was agreeing as long as it was fine with you. When you nodded to make your consent apparent, your friends were quick to shove you both in the closet, some of them pulling Seowon back who was complaining how it wasnât right to bully you into doing 7 minutes in heaven with Jungkook. They calmed him down once they bullied him into agreeing too.
âWe donât have to do anything,â Jungkook told you in the darkness, his breath fawning over your face. âYou donât have to feel pressured. Itâs just a stupid game.â
You blushed.
Secretly, you were hoping that heâd kiss you or touch you. Who didnât want to do anything with their crush at the age of 15? A lot can happen in 7 minutes. You were aware that sometimes people made out, went as far as third base, and although you didnât want to go that far with Jungkook, you wanted something to happen while you were stuck in this small closet with him. There werenât a lot of instances that put both of you in this kind of situation; you wished that you were brave enough to ask him to kiss you or do the first move yourself.
5 minutes in, Jungkook turned towards you.
âIs it true that Taehyung kissed you last week?â
You whipped your head so fast that you might have given yourself whiplash. âThatâsâthatâs not true. Where did you hear that?â
âDuring homeroom. Some girls were talking about it.â
Your cheeks burned. âOh.â
âSo, itâs not true?â
âNo.â You shook your head. âI havenât even had my first kiss yet.â You laughed weakly.
It was his turn to seem stunned. âYou havenât had your first kiss yet?â
You shook your head again, then realized he might not see you doing so. âNot yet.â
âWant me to change that?â he asked, grinning.
He said that with a boyish grin and teasing tone, but you sucked at social cues (plus, you really couldnât see shit that much) that you started nodding.
âOkay,â you told him.
âHuh?â
âYou can kiss me.â
âOh, oh, shitâI didnâtââ He was blabbering, about to take back what he offered. âI mean, I was just joking butââ
You widen your eyes. âYou were? Oh my God, Iâm sorry, I thought you wereââ
âNo, it was my fault. That was a little out of line for me. Iâm sorry.â He was laughing and you felt like burying yourself 6 feet under. âIt was a stupid thing to say. But if you want me to kiss you, itâs cool.â
âIt is?â Hope sparked within you.
âYeah. Itâll just be a peck anyway.â You can tell he was smiling through his voice. âJust donât tell Seowon because he might punch me in the face for kissing his sister.â
You cackled. âDeal.â
56 seconds before the 7 minutes were up, Jungkook leaned down to match your level and placed his lips on yours.Â
****
Youâre seething with rage, the embodiment of Godzilla, channeling the God of War, Ares, in your body; you harshly press Seowonâs number on your phone to call him and he answers after three rings.
âWhatâs up?â
âI will fucking murder you,â you snarl.
A beat. You hear shuffling. Then he answers, âyou already talked with Jungkook?â
The nonchalance and calmness in his voice drives you to be more frustrated than you already are. âYes, I have! What is wrong with you? Why would you plant that idea on his head?â You yell, not caring that your walls are thin and that your voice can probably be heard by the couple that lived next door. Youâre feeling a mixture of anger, embarrassment, and every negative emotion that exists at the moment. Youâre comparable to a bull who just saw the color red.
â____, it wonât be a big deal if you donât make it to be.â
âAre you hearing yourself right now?â
âDid you even let Jungkook explain?â
âI donât need him to spell everything out. I know why heâs asking me to marry him.â
âThen you know too that itâd be good for you.â
âMarrying him wonât be good for me.â
âWhy not?â
âIt just wonât!â
âYouâll get health insurance benefits that you donât get with your current jobs. You can pay less rent once you move in at Jungkookâs placeâthereâs a huge chance he wonât even let you pay him while you stay there too. Heâs away most of the time anyway, so staying there wouldnât be a problem. Plus, you can start studying for a masters degree like youâve always wanted.â
You groan. âNot like this. This is crazy.â
âThe both of you can divorce once youâve saved up a little. It really isnât that complicated.â
âItâs a sham marriage!â
âItâs a sham marriage with Jungkook.â
âThat doesnât make it better.â
âAre you sure? Your grade school diary might disagree.â
âOh my God, thatâs fucking low of you to bring that up. You just gave me another reason to hate you.â You stomp around the living room, acting like a teenager because of your brotherâs behavior. This isnât the first time he revealed that heâs read your diary before; that doesnât mean itâs less infuriating to be reminded that he has. âI swear, you better fucking sleeping with one eye open tonight. Iâm choking you to death.â
Seowon laughs out loud. âJust marry him. Heâs surprisingly amicable with the idea.â
âThatâs because youâre pressuring him! I bet you and Mom devised this entire thing together.â
âMom doesnât know. To be fair, sheâd probably have the same reaction as you. Itâs all me and Jungkook.â
âWow. You have two brains and yet none of you thought this was goddamn stupid?â
âItâs not stupid. Itâs genius if you come to think of it,â he says. âJungkook just wants to help you, dude. He wants to make sure youâll be okay and all that shit. Youâre the reason he filed for a two-week leave, did he tell you?â
Your heart does that jumping thing again. âNo.â
âWell, he did. Heâs on a break for two weeks because he wants to convince you to marry him and actually marry you within that time frame.â
âThis is nuts.â You sigh, finally flopping down the sofa and rubbing your face with your free hand. âThe both of you are nuts. How are you okay with this?â
âItâs Jungkook. I trust him. Donât you?â
âOf course, I do, I justââ you cut yourself off and frown, âI just feel like itâs unfair for him. Iâm marrying him because of military spouse benefits and what does he get?â
Thereâs a long pause, and you almost check your phone to see whether Seowon has already hung up on you or not.
âItâs better that Jungkook answers that question,â he tells you finally.
âWhy? You canât answer it on behalf of him?â
âSomething like that.â You can imagine him shrugging. âAll I know is that heâs genuinely concerned about your health and your financial status right now. So, just think about it, okay?â
âGod, fuck it, fine. Iâll think about it.â You grimace.
You hang up and glance at the door.
You donât think the conversation you just had with Seowon took that much time. The initial rush you had upon having your longtime crush propose to you is wearing off and youâre realizing that it was a dick move to literally slam the door right in Jungkookâs face earlier, leading you to stand up from your seat and look through the peephole to check if heâs still there.
He isnât, which you sigh in relief at.
As you lean against the door and regulate your breathing, you think how funny it is that Seowon is right about one thingâand that was grade school you would have been delighted at the thought of getting married to Jungkook. Heâs your dream guy; your parents loved him, his parents loved you, the both of you got along very well, and his personality and looks are everything that youâre looking for in a partner. It sucks that you live in a world where the only reason he wants to marry you is because heâs afraid youâll die because of self-neglect.Â
Your phone pings and you unlock the screen to look at the message that flashes on it.
Jungkook: hey, seowon just messaged me to say that you two already talked Jungkook: iâm sorry for jumping on you with a topic like that⊠Jungkook: iâm shit at confrontation lol Jungkook: also itâs the first time iâm proposing so give me some slack
You scoff at his audacity to joke about it this soon.
You: itâs okay You: iâm sorry too for what i did You: the answer is no btw
Jungkook: already??? Jungkook: letâs talk about it first
You: no need You: i donât want to marry you
Jungkook: oof thatâs harsh
You: sorry not sorry?
He doesnât respond and you think youâre safe. Maybe Jungkook does take no for an answer and youâre confused because youâre a little disappointed that heâs not falling on his knees, begging you to marry him like what your imagination is supplying you.
However, after you took a shower and went to check your phone again, you see that Jungkook messaged you a few minutes ago in response to your last message.
Jungkook: give me 10 days and iâll change your mind
You have the urge to go take a shower again because of how hot your body is feeling at the statement.
You: hate to break it to you but youâre not matthew mcconaughey
Jungkook: đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
****
Itâs not part of Jungkookâs branding to chase a woman. Typically, women chase him; they chase him in every city and country that he gets stationed in, flirting with him and hoping that theyâll get the chance to take him home for the night for a mindblowing one-night stand. They never succeed though, for despite their pretty faces and sultry gestures, Jungkook only smiles and declines every offer, saying that he had a girl waiting back home that he loved very much.
He used to think that he only used that as an excuse because heâs not the type to hook up with every attractive girl he meets. There are times when he succumbs, when he gives into the temptation of a little fun, especially after a life threatening or highly stressful missionâbut most of the time, he thinks he declines and use that pronouncement of his because his mind reverts him to the idea of you, to what would happen if he just gained the balls to ask you out.
Evidently, although asking you out and asking you to marry him are two completely different things, heâs a bit afraid that your answer will always be a hard no. Itâs what youâve been literally spelling out to him since the day he presented the idea, regardless of how heâs trying his best in swooning you or explaining how this is the perfect plan to help you gain an upper hand with your diagnosis.
âIâll file a restraining order against you, Iâm serious,â you say to him when he appears yet again outside the faculty room, waiting for you to gather your things and head home. Youâre wearing a white button up shirt and pinstripe wide leg trousers, an outfit combination that he ogles at before he goes down to business.
âYou wouldnât.â He glares at you. He gestures for you to let him take your backpack, and despite what you said, you let him. âAlso, what the fuck is in this thing? Youâll break your back if you keep using this.â He swings your backpack on one shoulder.
You laugh. âMy laptop, its charger, a couple of notebooks, books, pens, then the outputs of my students.â
âArenât they supposed to submit virtually? What happened to Google Classroom?â
âI still use it, but sometimes I like to have their work printed out so I can write the comments better. How do you know Google Classroom?â
âI have a squadronmate whose kid uses it for class.â
âAh.â You nod in understanding.
You two continue walking forward.
This has been your program for the past few days. Jungkook goes to the university you work at, heâll wait outside, youâll threaten him with something ridiculous, heâll take your bag, heâll offer to take you to dinner, youâll decline, and then heâll drive you home anyways. Before that routine ends, heâll lean on your door frame and give you his best puppy eyes, asking you to marry him for the sake of your welfare, and youâll scowl at him, insisting that you donât need his help to survive.
âDinner?â he asks, right on schedule.
You glance at him. âNo. I want to go home and sleep for 12 hours.â
âBusy day?â
âYep.â
âYou know, if you marry me, you wonât have to work two jobs and overexert yourself.â
He doesnât need to turn to you to know that youâre giving him a dirty look. âI wonât marry you, Jungkook.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause marriage doesnât work that way.â
âIt does. Billionaires do it all the time. The mafia does it too. Itâs always been some kind of transaction.â
âWell, if I marry you, what do you get?â
âThe assurance youâre taken care of.â
âThatâs cheesy.â
You share a laugh and he grins.
âItâs true,â he says. âIâll be fine as long as you are.â
He waits for you to quip back a reply, flickering his eyes to you when it takes longer than usual. Instead of the sneer heâs expecting, you appear to be flustered, an expression that is very recognizable for him whoâs known you since foreverâan expression that makes it too obvious for Jungkook that the crush you had on him that he thought has been long gone was still there. Heâs been seeing it a lot lately, particularly when heâs uttering lines that sound flirtatious on purpose; heâs positive that youâll threaten to kill him when you discover that he basks on the fact that he can still make you all flustered and cute, which encourages him to do and say anything that would elicit a reaction from you. Was it unethical to seduce you into marrying him? He might have to rethink that part too.
Reaching the parking lot, he unlocks the doors to his vehicle and places your bag inside the backseat. He watches you walk around the car, about to go to the passengerâs side, but then you wobble a bit and his attempt to get inside is instantly forgotten.
âHey,â he strides to where you are, gazing at you as you now hold onto the hood, âyou alright?â
You raise your chin up. âKook, can you get my bag?â
Jungkook doesnât need to be told twice. Heâs swinging the door again and getting your bag from the other end of the backseat while you get on the passengerâs seat, keeping the door wide and placing your legs outside, your feet planted on the concrete.
âWhat do you need?â he asks, crouching in front of you and zipping the bag open.
âGlucometer.â
He halts. âWhat does that look like?â
âItâs in the yellow bag. There.â You point at it right when he rummages through a certain part.
He brings it out and you take it from his grasp. Your movements are sluggish but he can discern that youâre doing your best not to be too slow; heâd present to help but he knows that he might prolong what youâre doing due to his cluelessness, so he just observes, noting how youâre pricking your finger with a device and then pressing it lightly to the glucometer which shows that your blood sugar is low.
âApple juice,â you mutter to him and he finds it faster than the last one.
You grab the juice pouch from his grasp, prying the straw attached on the back, pushing its end for it to pop out of its plastic coverâthen your hand shakes, preventing you from continuing and punching in the straw properly.
âLet me do it,â he says.
You donât fight him, you just slump against the seat as Jungkook picks up from where you left, and the moment he does the job and guides the straw to your awaiting lips, a long exhale through your nose escapes you.
âHow are you feeling?â he whispers. He didnât notice that he was holding his breath the entire duration of the scene.
Another sigh. âBetter.â
âDoes this happen a lot?â
You seem to hesitate. âNot a lot. Just when life gets a bit too hectic.â
â____ââ
âJust take me home.â You donât give him the chance to lecture you. âPlease, Jungkook.â
Defeated, he nods. âAlright.â
âThank you.â
He helps you position yourself properly on the passengerâs seat. âBut weâre talking about this at your place.â
Before you can protest, he closes the door.
****
Lee Hyunwoo was the name of the guy that you brought home for Christmas Eve eight years ago. It was the first time that you did, and Jungkook hated how Hyunwoo was considerably handsome, intelligent, and kindâthe exact kind of person he always imagined you deserved.
In the short time Hyunwoo spent with theirs and your family that night, everybody loved him and was already inviting him to the next gathering, all the while Jungkook avoided him at every cost, puzzled by this strong dislike he was feeling for your guest. He was annoyed at the manner in which Hyunwoo had an arm around your waist the entire evening, how you grinned up to him, eyes sparkling and all that shit. Hell, you used to look at him like that.
âHoney, can you get the mango float we have in our freezer?â Jungkook heard your mother tell you, and without thinking, he stood up from his chair and made a beeline to where you were, telling you heâd accompany you to your house.
âThatâs fine,â you told him. âItâs literally next door.â
âYeah, but it might be heavy.â
âItâs not.â
âBetter safe than sorry.â
You rolled your eyes and agreed then, excusing yourself from Hyunwoo who was in an engaged conversation with Seowon. The pair were geeking out because of their mutual love for the MCU and the next film slated to be released the following year.
Upon arriving at your home, you dashed to the kitchen with Jungkook trudging behind you. He wasnât sure what his next course of action should be now; all he wanted was some alone time with you, away from the presence of that college boyfriend of yours, but now that he had that, he couldnât think of anything that he wanted to say or do. He wasnât even sure why he was feeling a bit jealousâwas it because of that saying? Wherein people are bound to want what they canât have? Or was it that you only appreciate what you had when youâve already lost it?
âHow long have you and Hyunwoo been dating?â he asked, leaning against the counter as you pulled your freezer open.
âFour months, I think.â
âFour months? And you already brought him home?â
You snorted at his tone. âHis family is in another country so I thought itâd be nice to invite him.â
âYou must really like him then.â
âYeah, but Iâm not in love with him or anything.â You placed the mango float on the space beside Jungkook on the counter. âHeâs nice, and he likes me too.â
âDoes he treat you well?â
You flashed your eyes at him, amusement dancing in them. âWhatâs with that question?â
âWhatâs with it?â
âNothing, itâs just thatâŠâ you trailed, a smirk etched on your face. âWait a minute, are you⊠you canât possiblyââ Jungkook was widening his eyes, ready to deny your accusation once you questioned whether he was jealous of Hyunwoo or notâ âare you pulling an overprotective brother skit on me, Kook?â
Fuck, thank God, he thought.
âI prefer âoverprotective friend skitâ,â he said.
âThat doesnât have a nice ring to it.â
âBut Iâm not your brother.â
âYou donât have to be, Iâm just saying that you and Seowon have been acting similar since Hyunwoo and I arrived.â
âNonsense. Seowon likes him.â
âOh, so you donât?â
He pressed his lips into a tight line.
âDid you just admit that you donât like Hyunwoo?â you asked, chuckling. He was grateful that you didnât seem to be offended by it.
âI didnât say I didnât like him.â
âInstead you implied it.â
âNo, I didnât.â
âYou kinda did.â
He heard you laugh and he couldnât help but allow himself to laugh as well.
âIâm sorry,â he apologized. âMaybe Iâm just not used to you dating anyone. You are chronically single.â
âCanât say youâre wrong.â You snorted and picked up from the mango float, marching back to his house and gesturing for him to follow you.
He did, no words spoken between the both of you once more. Though when you were entering their place again, with Jungkook holding the door open for you, he mentioned something he never reckoned heâd have the guts to mention out loud.
âWhen you open my gift,â he began, âdonât do it in front of Hyunwoo, okay?â
âWhy not?â You werenât paying attention to where you were going, intrigued by his warning.
âHe might not like it. Youâll see.â
That night, at the comfort of your bedroom, Hyunwoo nowhere near but instead sleeping at the coach downstairs in your living room, you opened Jungkookâs gift and saw that it was a necklace with your birth flower as its pendant.
You smiled, rolling your eyes to yourself, and slept with that giddy look never leaving your face.
****
âNot so fast,â Jungkook grunts.
Did he think that you were going to be less difficult since he was helpful earlier? Yeah, he did. He likes to think that if it wasnât for him, you would have taken longer in feeding yourself with apple juice, so he at least wanted a thank you in the form of your willingness to have an adult conversation with him tonight. However, that clearly isnât the case because when he walked you up to your apartment like he always did, youâre attempting to lock him out, shutting the door as fast as you can once youâre inside, thus trying to prevent him from initiating that talk he wanted the two of you to have.
âSeriously?â He successfully pries the door open and you scowl at him.
âJungkookââ
âNo, you donât get to reason your way out of this. Iâm done hearing you out. Itâs your turn to listen to me.â He steps inside your apartment.
You groan, striding to the sofa and throwing your bag there. âYou canât force me to marry you.â
âIs marrying me so fucking bad that you canât get over it for health insurance benefits that can really help you?â He demands, infuriated.Â
âThatâs not the issue.â
âThen what is?â
âYou can get arrested!â you exclaim. âAnd so can I! Does that not freak you out?â
âWeâll only get arrested if we get caught.â
âIâm not willing to take the risk.â
âIâm not willing to see you die.â
You scoff out a laugh. âWho the fuck said anything about dying? Iâm not dying.â
âYou almost passed out on me. You almostââ
âItâs an error on my part, I admit.â You sigh. âWhen I get busy and preoccupied, sometimes I forget to check my sugar levels regularly throughout the day. Iâm sorry.â
âAnd you expect to be convinced that you have everything handled?â
âGod, Iâm not a child. Stop treating me like I canât do shit for myself.â
âPlease, ___,â he approaches you with the most pleading expression he can muster, and he watches as your hard expression crumbles, âjust accept my help. Itâs really not a big dealâyou wonât even see me often, so keeping up with the whole marriage ploy wouldnât be difficult. Weâll divorce in two years, we can pretend we never got married after that.â
âYou just donât get it, donât you?â
âWhat do I not get? If you think I donât understand something, then explain it to meââ
âI canât marry you,â you say. You do so like itâs final, like thereâs no point in arguing with you because he can never change your stand on this. As heâs pleading with his eyes to urge you to agree, youâre communicating with your eyes in a similar way thatâs wishing he would just drop this. âItâs wrong.â
His eyebrows furrow. âThis isnât the time to go on your high horse and decide whatâs wrong and whatâs not. Itâs a fraudulent marriageâof course, itâll be wrong to some degree.â
âNo, I meanâŠâ You turn away from him, rubbing your face in exhaustion. âItâd be wrong of me to marry you. Iâm taking advantage of you if I do, and I donât like that.â
Jungkook shakes his head, frustration worsening at the childlike excuse. Surely, you werenât that naive, were you? âYouâre not. Iâm not doing this against my own will. Besides, we get extra pay just for being married. If it makes you feel better, I wonât split it with you.â
âThat wonât make me feel better.â
âThen what will?â
You flop down on the coach and lean back, closing your eyes. He knows heâs being a pain in the ass but he canât just stand here and do nothing. He thinks heâs already come too far in convincing you, he isnât going to back out now. Every single day spent together, he can feel you warming up to the idea of marrying him for health insurance. Your connection and entirety of your relationship has been off the charts recently that itâll be harder for him not to be assured that before he leaves for his job, youâll be taken care off.
Jungkook goes to the spot beside you, sitting down. Your knees bump together, he keeps on gazing at you, waiting for you to focus on him; a minute passes and his gaze moves to your hand thatâs laying on the small space between you.
Without overthinking, he stretches out and clasps it, allowing his fingers to play with yours that finally captures your attention. The moment he glances up, he sees that youâre staring at him and he doesnât let go, he even smiles, a quiet promise that heâs always willing to listen to whatever you want to tell him.
You hesitantly smile back. âYou know,â your eyes train back to your intertwined fingers, Jungkook reveling in the warmth of your skin, gaining more confidence in acting out his feelings, âthere was a time wherein I would have said yes immediately if you asked me to marry you.â
He smirks, canât deny how hearing that inflates his ego a bit although this route in the conversation isnât where he expected to go. âWhat changed?â
âFor one, I grew up.â
âOuch.â
You laugh. Then you stay quiet for a while before speaking. âCan I confess something?â
That piques his interest. âAnything.â
âBut you have to promise not to make fun of me.â
âThatâs impossible.â He teases. âWhat is it?â
You stall, readjusting your position so that you can directly face him. Jungkook doesnât let go of your hand, he keeps it in his grasp, his thumb rubbing along the expanse of your knuckles.
âI like you, Jungkook. I really really do,â you finally say and he blinks, startled.
It shouldnât surprise him, considering that itâs been long established that he knew of your crush already, though he doesnât seem to have anticipated for you to boldly admit it when all these years, itâs only been some kind of unspoken understanding that neither of you downright acknowledged.
You continue speaking. âIn fact, I like you so much that maybe it developed into love at some pointâIâm not sure. Iâm at this stage of no longer being afraid of what I feel, I think? Most of the time, I just let it occur like itâs something so natural. Like itâs a feeling that I can never get away from? Like whatever I do, thereâs no way to shake you.â You chuckle half-heartedly. âThough never in a million years would I have thought that Iâd confess all of this. What for anyway? I donât want you to be burdened with what my teenage heart couldnât rub out.â
His mind is racing; hundred thoughts, hundred scenarios, hundred experiences heâs spent with you since the day you met. Jungkook never realized how much he needed you to say that you liked himâthat maybe you even loved himâuntil he heard it from your very mouth that you did, causing every inhibition and doubt he had to vanish. Now, he only wants to engulf you in an embrace and shout Yes, I feel the same way! Sorry for being a fucking corward and not doing this first!
He would have done all of that in a flash if it didnât appear that you still had something to say. Based on your rather constipated posture and the hand heâs holding thatâs becoming clammy, he discerns that youâre just in the first part of what you wanted to admit.
âActually, thatâs also why I canât let myself marry you,â you say. âI know it sounds ridiculous, but I donât know⊠it feels really icky somehow. I feel like Iâm holding you hostage, or that Iâm tricking you because of an ulterior motive, or that Iâm defying the laws of the universe by having the chance to marry you. Iâm not sure. I just know that I donât want to marry you if it means Iâll only get to do so because you think youâre doing me a huge favor. I donât want to be your charity case, KookâI deserve to be more than that, you know? Iâm not traditional or whatever but if itâs not for love, Iâm not keen on getting married.â You abruptly pull away from his clutch, embarrassment washing on your features by what you stated. âPlus, two years might not be that long but what happens when you meet someone and you like her? How can you explain that youâre only married to me because I need it for my medication? Itâll just be unnecessarily messy. I donât want to hold you back from those kinds of things. I donât want to be a hindrance.â
Thatâs his cue. Thatâs when he knows heâs supposed to kiss you and take your breath away, to admit that heâs certain that he has loved you since that one time when he was in the Naval Academy and although the training was hard as fuck, the thought of you gave him strength and he didnât want to see anyone as much as he wanted to see you afterâthat when you and Seowon visited him, that familiar urge to have you alone was all he felt the entire time, solidifying the idea that perhaps he didnât just see you as a friend.
âYouâre unbelievably dense, ___,â he murmurs, smirking at the play of events, and you glance at him, expression showing disbelief that heâs somehow treating this matter lightly.
âWhat?â
âDo you honestly think I go around and offer marriage to every woman out there who can benefit from being a military spouse? Do you think Iâm that generous? Iâm not. I wouldnât ask anyone to marry me for the same reason if they werenât important to meâor if I didnât like them. Iâm not that much of a saint,â he adds. âI mean, Iâm taking a two-week break to convince you to marry me. Iâm spending time with you every single day. Iâm driving for almost an hour and a half, enduring the traffic to get from my apartment to the university you work in to do thatâand you think this is because I want to be charitable?â
Silence. Your forehead wrinkles. He thinks youâre still not getting the point.
âIâm in love with you, ____,â Jungkook says.
Your breath hitches in your throat. Youâre opening your mouth, then closing it, then opening it again, then pressing it into a thin line. He thinks you look cute, being taken aback like this, and heâs wishing that heâs done this sooner so that the last five days of him chasing you around like a lost puppy was spent with talking more about whatâs possibly waiting for yours and his relationship next.
âAre you serious?â you ask after what seems like forever. âOr are you just saying that because youâre that desperate to have me on board with the whole fraudulent marriage thing?â
âGodââ Heâs inching closer to you now, laughing, watching your lips twitch at his reactionâ âIâm convinced that you were born into this earth to drive me fucking crazy.â
And just like that, he no longer restrains himself from kissing you.
It takes you a few good seconds before you will yourself to move. You canât seem to process the reality of Jungkook admitting that he was in love with you and then taking the liberty to plant his lips on yours. Youâre not complaining, of course, but you are a bit overwhelmed that it literally makes you freeze, unaware of what youâre supposed to do now that your fantasies are coming into life.
However, once you feel him angle his head to the side, doing so to deepen the kiss, your reflexes kick in and youâre kissing him back, encircling your arms around his neck and leaning towards him, Jungkook sighing in what appears to be relief. He grips your hips to support you as you try to straddle him, but your movements are so clumsy that you end up sprawling against his chest instead, perched on a leg of his that provides pleasure on the spot you need him the most. He chuckles at your lack of gracefulness, gliding his lips to your cheek and down to your jaw, nipping.
âThis okay?â he whispers with a palm drifting to your bottom.
You nod and Jungkookâs mouth is back on yours in an instant. He squeezes your ass, takes his time in fondling with it, cheekily slapping whenever you get brave yourself and push your tongue past his lips, before he skims his hand lower to your thigh and signals for you to mount him. Upon being properly sat on his lap, you get an immediate feel of his hard length through his jeans, prompting your imagination to run wild and induce the filthiest things he can do to you if neither of you stops.
âHoly shit,â he curses, your kisses roaming to the base of his throat where you lap and suck.
It becomes a dirty pattern for a while. The both of you will take a brief pause from making out to remove a piece of clothing or kiss every other exposed skin there is: the cheek, the jaw, the neck, the collarbones, the shoulders. Then one of you hauls the other back for another passionate kiss, hands skating everywhere on your bodies, sounds of arousal echoing inside the room; youâre starting to get lightheaded but youâre positive itâs not because of your sugar levels running low.
âI hate that it took us so long to get to this point,â he mutters.
You grin. âIâm sorry.â
âDonât apologize. Iâm the manâI should have confessed long ago.â
âWhy didnât you?â
âI donât know. âWas afraid to lose you, I guess.â He draws his head back and admires your blissed out expression. âBut then when Seowon told me you had diabetes, I panicked and thought that I might lose you either way.â
You go back to making out, Jungkook guiding your hips in grinding on his clothed length. Itâs addictiveâthe intimate feel of him, how heâs not shy in making sure you know how much heâs craving to be as close to you as you are to him. You think you can spend the whole night just doing this and be okay with it.
âFuck, Kook,â you groan against his mouth, a hand descending to his stomach and to his manhood, âyouâre so⊠so fuckinâ hard.â
Youâre palming him now, tracing the erection evident under his boxers.
He lets out a grunt. âYeah, baby, I know.â
âDo you⊠do you want meââ Youâre breathless, not able to continue whatever it is that you want to say.
He understands you just fine though. âNo.â He shakes his head. âDonât do anything.â
Youâre not sure what Jungkook means by that. How are you supposed to do nothing when you want to do everything to him? You soon comprehend what he means when he guides you to lay down on the sofa, when his lips skim lower and lower, passing your breasts, giving them the attention they deserve, until he goes lower than that and discards your underwear, kissing you in between your legs.
Itâs like heâs releasing all the pent up emotions heâs been keeping all these years. His tongue and fingers are relentless, his voice is telling you that heâs eager to coax an orgasm out of you, and as he lifts himself up to return to his previous position, face hovering yours, youâre positive that heâll get everything he wants because without a doubt youâll give him everything he wants from you too. Hell, if he uses this opportunity to ask you to marry him again, you might answer yes straight away, no longer bearing in mind the worries you expressed to him earlier.
Although did that even matter anymore? Jungkook said he loved you. He said you drove him crazy. You never thought youâd come to see the day heâd utter those words but here you are. The man of your dreams is kissing you, pleasing you, and looking damn enthusiastic as he does all of that.
âLast chance to stop me,â Jungkook teases. His eyes are glassy and you can feel his cock nudging on your thigh.
You giggle, bringing his head closer to press another long kiss on those pink and plump lips of his. âPlease never stop.â
âNever?â
âNever.â
âIâm going to take you up on that.â
âPlease do.â
After this night, youâre certain that youâll never allow yourself to be with another man aside from Jungkook. At the back of your head, you always thought that you were his, regardless if that wasnât true or that there was no real relationship to prove thatâhowever, at this moment, as he thrusts in and out languidly, you unquestionably know that you are. You belong to him now and he belongs to you; he lets you know through his love-filled gaze, his passionate kisses, and the manner wherein he moans your name.
âI love you,â he says, like heâs still in deep longing for your touch and affection.
You hum, tangling your fingers through the strands of his hair. âI love you, Kook.â You stare at his eyes. âI canât remember a time I didnât.â
A boyish grin erupts on his features.
Time passes by quickly. In a few more of his kisses, of the intoxicating slam of his hips, of his seductive whimpers, youâre coming beneath him, Jungkook pulling out and jerking his length until he too comes, his seed landing on the base of your tummy. You have the nerve to giggle at that, grinning at him with low-lidded eyes, and Jungkook hastily wipes his cum off your skin, attacking you with another passionate kiss that leaves you breathless.
âThereâs no way youâre not marrying me after this,â he murmurs.
You teasingly graze your teeth on his bottom lip. âIâll think about it.â
He groans. âDonât think about it. Just say yes.â
âAt least let me sleep on it, Kook.â
âFuckâfine.â He grabs your sides and pulls you flush against his body. âGuess Iâll have to keep on convincing you until you agree.â
****
âGod, why is this so difficult?â Jungkook whines, keeping you in his embrace, head tucked between your cheek and shoulder.
The air is very humid and Jungkookâs in his naval aviator uniform, which doesnât look cool in a sense that air is properly flowing through the material. He doesnât care though, doesnât care that itâs sticking to his skin as he refuses to let you go, not even when you complain playfully.
âKook, Iâm fucking sweaty.â
âI donât care.â
You laugh.Â
Heâs leaving to return to his duty and youâre here with him outside the base before he enters, being with him until the last possible minute because thatâs how much of a good wife you are.
Yes, you and Jungkook did get married. Three days ago in fact, at the city hallâs courtroom. Neither of you invited your parents; they didnât know about the occasion and you refused to tell them, afraid that they may be critical about yours and his choices when they discover the true reason why youâre rushing to be wed. The only people that remained to be aware of it was Seowon and his girlfriend, Winnie, who served as the witnesses, which was fine by you. In your understanding, this was just for the papers and your health, and not the real deal yet to be celebrated lavishly.
âIâll propose to you again after a couple of years,â Jungkook promised after the ceremony. âLetâs renew our vows and Iâll give you an amazing wedding.â
You would have told him that there was no need, but who were you kidding? You did want a proper wedding with Jungkook. The previous week didnât even feel like you were newlyweds. Yes, the both of you compacted all of the dates you could have if one of you werenât such a chicken in five days, and yes, though the honeymoon stage was experienced and practicedâit was only because you were a new couple who after years of hiding their feelings for one another, was now finally free to express it as much as they desired.
âCall me everyday?â you ask when he finally pulls back, Jungkook pecking your lips one more time.
âDefinitely.â He smiles. âVisit me whenever possible?â
âOf course.â You kiss him too.
His smile transforms into a grin. âTake care of yourself, alright? Keep me updated all the time. No sugarcoating allowed.â
âYes, Lieutenant.â
Rolling his eyes, he gives you another kiss and engulfs you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground that causes you to giggle.
âOkay, pack it up, love birds!â Seowon shouts.
The two of you turn to your brother whoâs leaning on his car, the vehicle that was used to transport the three of you today. Youâre still in the middle of moving your belongings at Jungkookâs place and Seowon was kind enough to volunteer helping, always dubious that you could do stuff on your own. Despite your reluctance, you let him assist you, mostly because youâre trying to make a conscious effort in not upsetting him again.
Letâs just say that when the judge hailed you husband and wife at the civil wedding, Seowon wasnât thrilled to see that the kiss shared between you and Jungkook wasnât as fake as the supposed sham marriage, leading him to the conclusion that in the middle of Jungkookâs ruse of convincing you to be his wife, something must have happened that led to your approval and that rather 18+ rated kiss. Mostly though, heâs just offended that neither of you thought of telling him that you were an official couple before the wedding.
Jungkook unwillingly places you down.
âI think I need to go,â you say.
He nods with a sigh. âIâll miss you.â
âIâll miss you too.â
âCall you tomorrow?â
âYes.â You affectionately caress his cheek, bringing his face down for the very very very last kiss.Â
He leans into it. âFuck, I donât want to leave.â
âSeriouslyâhurry up!â Seowon shouts and you pull back.
âI will kill him,â you tell Jungkook.
âHeâs your brother,â he says. âAnd now, my brother-in-law, so I canât let you do that.â
âThat might be your very first red flag, Jungkook, insinuating that youâre choosing my brother over me.â You cross your arms. âTell me, if the both of us were drowning, would you save me or Seowon?â
âYou,â he answers without missing a beat.
You narrow your eyes. âIs that the truth?â
âOf course. Seowon would probably undrown himself anyway and youâre shit at swimming. Itâs an easy choice.â
You punch him hard on the shoulder and he feigns hurt, snickering. âFor the record, I donât think anyone can âundrownâ themselvesâbut fine, you pass the test.â
Jungkook faces Seowonâs direction and does a final salute, your brother returning it swiftly, and just like that, you and him share your last farewells. You watch as he goes through the entrance of the base and sends you a wave of goodbye; you weakly copy the gesture and stand there for a few seconds, just watching him fade from your view the further he trudges inside. You donât think saying goodbye to him ever felt this heavy, and you blame it on the fact that after all this is the first time youâre saying goodbye to him with the assurance that he loves you tooâand that alone weighs millions.
You spin on your heel and go to Seowon whoâs already in the driverâs seat. As soon as you get in and wear your seat belt, heâs giving you a dirty look.
âWhat?â you ask.
âPlease never do that in front of me again.â
His statement makes you smirk. âWhy? Didnât you want this?â
âWant what?â
âMe and Jungkook to be together.â
âWhen on earth did I say that?â
âYou previously admitted that you were lowkey playing cupid by suggesting that Jungkook marry me for health insurance.â
A short pause. âYeah, but that doesnât mean I have to watch you two reenact a porno every fucking time.â
âWeâre notââ
âYou are. Donât deny it.â He grumbles. âGod, every time I see you two, itâs like Iâm Ross from that one Friends episode where he accidentally sees Monica and Chandler doing it from the window of his apartment.â
âYeah, I remember that.â You laugh. âIn my defense, you havenât seen me and Jungkook actually do the deed soââ
âWait, so the two of you have?â
Your expression drops. His tone is approaching older brother protectiveness territory and youâre quick to attempt diffusing the situation. âI will not dive into that. All Iâm going to say is that Iâm a grown adult and so is Jungkook.â
He grimaces before starting the engine. âYeah, never dive into that. I donât need to hear the details.â
You share a laugh and then silence fills the car.
You press your lips together, looking at him while he backs out from the parking spot. âHey, thanks, by the way. For driving today, and for offering to help me later, and maybe for also never minding your own business.â
You recall how Seowon was the one who couldnât stop worrying about you and finding a solution when you told your family that you had type 1 diabetes. Your parents were concerned, they pestered you for months to force you to accept financial assistance from them, but they gave up soon after. Seowon though? He never did. He persisted through every outburst you had; he tolerated your bitchiness and your dirty looks all the time. Out of everyone in your life, you always felt like regardless of how stubborn and prideful you could be, Seowon was worseâin the best way possible.
A crooked smile illuminates his face. âYouâre my kid sister. Itâs my job to never let you experience peace in your whole life.â
You scoff. âWell, youâre damn great at what you do.â
When you reach Jungkookâs apartment, unloading the boxes and arranging your stuff to its designated places, your heart swells in happiness as the reality sinks in that your life is heading in the right direction after months of feeling hopeless. It drives you to be more thankful to the little things, to the people who were always by your side, to your previous circumstance that although wasnât ideal was still manageable. A lot donât get to have that kind of privilege and you promise yourself that youâll make an effort to find more things to be grateful about from this day forward.
âOh, I forgot to mention,â Seowon approaches in the middle of you arranging your books on Jungkookâs near to empty shelf, âWinnie wanted to give you this. She would have handed it over herself but sheâs going to be busy for the next few days.â
You take the frame from his hand and see that itâs the picture Winnie took of you and Jungkook after the ceremony. Itâs in the restaurant that you ate at to celebrate the civil wedding. Jungkook was grinning at you with an arm around on the backrest of your chair, you were leaning towards him, smiling at the cameraâand the absolute selling point of why this was the best picture ever taken was because of how cake icing was scattered on your faces, places on spots in an artistic manner like it was planted there on purpose for the picture and not because the both of you were being silly that instance.
You think it showcases your relationship with Jungkook marvelously. Itâs playful, itâs sweet, and most of all, it demonstrates how you two are clearly great friends.
âThis is so beautiful, Seowon,â you say.
You immediately send Winnie a heartfelt thank you message for the gift and continue to take a photo of the frame, sending it to Jungkook as well.
Once you hit send, you type out a message to accompany it.
You: look how cute we look đ„č
Youâre certain itâll take hours before he replies so you keep your phone again, going back to staring at the picture which is now placed on one of the shelves. Itâs the sole picture frame you have with Jungkook. In fact, itâs the only picture that Jungkook has in his apartment, and you like to think that this might be the mark of the new beginning youâll have with him. Even though your relationship wouldnât be traditionally explored given his occupation and how heâs most likely going to be away a lot, you donât mind.
If thereâs one thing you really believe in, itâs that waiting for Jungkookâwhether consciously or unconsciouslyâalways brings out the best outcomes.
gentle reminder: this author loves feedback! let her know your thoughts if you enjoyed reading this fic and youâll add 100+ points in her writing motivation meter âĄ
#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook imagines#bts#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts drabbles#jungkook drabbles#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x you#bts x you#jungkook fanfiction#bts fanfiction#jeon jungkook fanfiction
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
took cold medicine bc i couldnât stop coughing and legit thought i was going to die lmfaoâŠ..it gave me severe chest pain like it was so bad also i almost threw up and now iâm congested when i wasnât before. so like thank u cold medicine for being so helpful. i cannot take this again fr i took it last time i was sick & it also made me feel worse idk why i thought it would be different this time đ
#michelle speaks#never in my life have i had a cold medicine do to me what this one has doneâŠ..#iâm like maybe itâs bc it has tylenol in it & i donât react well to tylenol so i donât ever take it#thatâs prob what it is honestly. but like there is no way i can take this again it gave me such bad chest pain đ#so itâs like. before i took it i felt fine other than i couldnât stop coughing. now iâm coughing slightly less but my throat hurts#& now iâm congested & i still have some chest painâŠ..itâs like i took a get sick potion đ#the thing is that i hadnât taken tylenol in so long i didnât even remember how much i do not like it đ#i think this is more severe than i had precious times anyway but like. i will not buy tylenol again lmfaoâŠ..lesson learned!#iâm mad too bc i was totally gonna get my contracts done before this but now i feel awful so thereâs no way đ#iâm actually being so serious tho it was so bad i was like iâm going to die rn lmfao đ i lived for now at leastâŠâŠ
0 notes
Note
I would dieeee for some more of Spencer and bombshell after her getting injuredđ him taking such good care of her, the BEST doctors, researching every single optionđ reassuring her rhats shes just as prettyđ
âSpencer looks after you while you recover from a brutal injury. fem!reader, 1.1k
Spencer thinks itâs one of the team's more gruesome injuries. Hotch has been stabbed to mince meat and Emily half-killed, Elle got shot, and heâs had his fair share of violence, too, but he canât imagine the horror of being hit in the face with a hammer. The pain so close to your eyes, your teeth, your brain, the fear and the sudden crack. He feels sick whenever he remembers the sound, and he was sick the first time he dreamt about the way you cried as it happened. Your strange yelp, the immediate drop to the floor.Â
Spencer never hit somebody as hard as he did that UnSub. His gun whipped out possessed across the UnSubâs face, and then drove forward into their nose with a stomach turning crunch.Â
Theyâre in custody, and youâre in bed recovering with some of the best doctors in the world. Spencer thinks you both won this round, even if it doesnât feel like a win right now.Â
âShh,â he whispers, âshh, shh, itâs okay. Itâs okay, donât cry.âÂ
You cling to his chest as though worried heâs going to move out of reach, sobbing. Youâre careful not to touch your face or his chest, the soreness too much, but the rest of you is clinging to him. You donât have to worry, heâs not going anywhere.Â
âPlease, itâs okay,â he says, the tip of his nose to your forehead. âYou can have another dose in twenty minutes. Just twenty minutes.âÂ
He supposes the pain reminds you of the full extent of the injury, your jaw fractured in two places, your gum traumatised, your face more bruise than anything else. You hate your appearance being out of your control, itâs making you panic âhe can feel you shaking.
Heâd sat down with your drink to find you already crying, he couldnât have been gone for ten minutes, but it was long enough for you to fall deep into the throes of hysteria. Youâd grappled for him as he sat down to hug you, your face hidden ever since, and now the shakes have started. Heâs hopeless.Â
But Spencerâs willing to do anything to make it better. âCan you tell me whatâs upsetting you? Please?â he asks.
âItâsââ Harder sobbing, your tears dripping down from your chin to wet the thigh of his pants.
He has to calm you down.
Since you met Spencer, youâve been the comforter. He canât count how many times something has hurt him and youâve rushed to save him. Youâve hugged and held and kissed him into smiling, youâve never let him down, youâve forgiven him after a hundred stupid mistakes, so Spencer doesnât care that youâve been inconsolable for days. He really doesnât mind that heâs had to look after you this attentively. Itâs his pleasure, and heâs getting better at it.Â
He presses a few soft shushes somewhere in your hairline, his hand rubbing a circuit into your back with a firm pressure that never tips into roughness. He does it until his palm is numb. He could paint the slant of your back from muscle memory, fingers tripping down the creased fabric of your pyjamas, pulling back up to your neck. Heâs never felt such tender sympathy. He hates that youâre in pain, but he doesnât hate getting to rub your back. This is surely boyfriend territory.Â
âYou want something to drink now?â he asks quietly.Â
You open your mouth to answer, sighing in pain momentarily. âUh, yeah.âÂ
âDid you want the straw?âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
âOkay.â He canât force himself away. âYou okay for me to move you?âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
You canât be blamed for short answers.Â
There are surgeries to hold your jaw together when it breaks, and while you were unconscious (shock, rather than head injury), Hotch consented as your next of kin for the doctors to make sure things wouldnât get worse, but it was Spencer who had to advocate for you afterwards. Theyâd wanted a metal connector to prevent dislocation. Spencer knew this could mean another scar, so he said no, because you mightâve said no had you been awake, and they shouldâve asked you anyways.Â
When you did wake up, you were vehemently against it. Which is fine, you can heal without it, but itâs scarier to do it unaided. Your jaw could dislocate if you do something wrong, which is not only horrifically painful, but a painfully horrific injury to have. You talk quietly. You take small mouthfuls of soft foods.Â
Spencer looks at you now, tearstained, back arched like a kicked dog, and doesnât know what to do. He wishes he were the one who got injured instead.Â
He takes the hospital bed controls into his hand and presses the button to make the top of your mattress elevate. Tomorrow, theyâll send you home, and Spencer will have to construct a nest of pillows for you to sit in while you recover, but itâll be worth it. Things wonât feel as intimidating when youâre in your own bed.Â
âLean back, beautiful,â he says.Â
Your smile is a straight line with eyes lit up. âWhat for?â you ask.Â
âComfier. Less stress on your head.â You lean back. âOh,â he adds, âand so I can get a better view of you.âÂ
Your eyes get impossibly brighter. âWhat do you think?â you murmur. Your voice sounds scratched to death from crying, tight from holding your mouth a certain way, but pleased anyways. Itâs just as pretty as it always is to him.Â
âYouâre the prettiest girl in the world,â he says, reaching out to cradle your waist, his hand moving up and down the side of you tenderly.Â
You have a bruise from under your left eye and bleeding down your neck, and you havenât slept right for a few days, but youâre undeniably beautiful in Spencerâs eyes.Â
Youâve been the most beautiful girl in the world literally from the day you met onward, with as much to do with your heart as your lovely face. He should tell you that, but he doesnât.Â
âCan I have water now?â you ask, covering his hand with yours.Â
His confidence wobbles. âOh, yeah, sorry. Sorry.â He grabs your drink, water spilling down the side to wet his hand.Â
âPlease donât make me laugh.âÂ
âIâm not trying to,â he says pathetically.Â
He holds the cup of water to your face and you guide the straw between your lips. Spencerâs sure heâs been in love with you forever, and itâs all but cemented now.Â
#spencer and bombshell reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Chosen One : ÌÌâ Charles LeClerc
summary: as part of the f1 media team you get to meet a lot of the drivers, however thereâs one driver who seems to take an extra special liking to you
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by lancestroll, carlossainz55 and 79,302 others
ynusername: another fun week at the paddock, look out for some AM content coming your way on race day đïžđ
13,382 comments
username1: we love new yn content!! đ«¶đ»
lancestroll: thank you for being the perfect partner to have with us this weekend!
ynusername: @/lancestroll it was awesome to spend some time with you đ
carlossainz55: excuse me come and film some ferrari content asap
username2: cannot wait, i've been dying to see you in the aston martin garage đ€©
username3: now this i just know is going to be hilarious
lewishamilton: you're such a traitor...last week you were all over mercedes đ
username4: i always thought that green was your colour yn hahah
danielricciardo: it's been too long, come back and film with me kiddo đ
ynusername: @/danielricciardo gimme a time and a date and i'm there
username5: the queen is back đ
charles_leclerc: still waiting for you to hurry up and come and visit ferrari
ynusername: @/charles_leclerc blame my bosses not me
username6: everyone spam f1 until they let yn and go and film with c2 pls
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by leclercgirl101, ferrarifan7 and 1,482 others
f1content: rumours continue to swirl as charles and yn are spotted enjoying their downtime together in the miami heat âïž
796 comments
username7: if this is true i swear i'll throw a party and everyone is invited đđ»
username8: surely i can't be the only one thinking they look so well suited together
username9: is this why yn's been avoiding the ferrari garage??? đ€
username10: two people do not colour coordinate for no reason fyi
username11: peep how comfortable they look to be together đ„ș
username12: i refuse to accept that these two gorgeous humans are not dating
username13: yn is the only person i will give charles up for ngl đ
username14: it's about time yn found happiness...praying charles is the man
username15: yn isn't even working this weekend and she's there, charles must be hella important to do that đ„ș
username16: if this isn't true prepare for the sound of my heart breaking
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by pierregasly, estebanocon and 89,301 others
ynusername: another week = another garage. thanks to alpine for a great couple of days đ„ș
13,694 comments
username17: my favourite creator and my favourite team, thank you f1 gods đđ»
landonorris: fuming!! remember when you told me mclaren was your favourite team
estebanocon: don't think i've laughed like that for a long time, you're the best!! đ
ynusername: @/estebanocon all thanks to the talented driver who joined me
georgerussell63: i swear these days you're more popular online then the actual drivers
username18: another week of impatiently waiting for yn to film with ferrari đ
charles_leclerc: EXCUSE ME WHAT ABOUT ME!?!? đ€Ż
username19: poor charles is gonna have a breakdown if yn doesn't appear soon
pierregasly: can't believe you refused to take the alpine shirt that i gave you đââïž
ynusername: @/pierregasly do you know how many drivers would never speak to me again if i accepted???
username20: i wish the drivers adored me as much as they adore yn ngl
lancestroll: heartbroken that you've already left aston martin for the opposition
username21: how can one person be wanted by so many teams??
carlossainz55: i'll give you a million dollars to come and save my teammate đ
username22: not charles being publicly thirsty for yn omg
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman and 89,492 others
ynusername: apparently this is the only garage im allowed in these days đ€·đ»ââïž
21,706 comments
username23: according to who yn wtf??? please tell me this is charles' doing đđ»
carlossainz55: i always thought that red was your colour anyway
oscarpiastri: btw papaya definitely looks better than that!! đ§Ą
lancestroll: no way, green is definitely more your style yn! đ
maxverstappen1: excuse me no one can compete with yn in navy blue thank you đ
username24: not all the boys fighting over yn like she belongs to any of them
username25: clearly no one has ever seen yn in baby pink *chefs kiss* đ©·
charles_leclerc: it's about time you finally listened to me...
ynusername: @/charles_leclerc i'm yet to be fully convinced...
username26: the mic in hand...does that mean...content?? đ€
username27: yn in red and charles in red seem like the perfect pair ngl
danielricciardo: just ignore them all and come and interview me instead, we'll have the best time đ„ș
ynusername: @/danielricciardo omw now đđ»ââïžđđ»ââïž
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 101,486 others
ynusername: the interview youâve all been waiting for, see what I got up to with the men in red during race weeekend đïžâ€ïž
27,492 comments
carlossainz55: the best time with you, we love you yn!! đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»
username28: about time i can't believe it
landonorris: as much as i hate to admit it, you three are a pretty funny trio đ
ynusername: @/landonorris i'll take that as a compliment coming from you!
username29: now THIS is the content that we've all been waiting for
username30: my heart just stopped for a moment to make sure that this is true đ„ș
danielricciardo: i still confidently argue that we'd have a better time
username31: not me watching this on repeat for the whole weekend
charles_leclerc: my belly still hurts from laughing so hard...i hope you're proud of yourself đđ
ynusername: @/charles_leclerc ngl feelin' pretty smug rn
username32: screw the race, this is the content we came to see
arthur_leclerc: don't tell charles but he's not stopped talking about how great you are since this interview đ€
charles_leclerc: @/arthur_leclerc you know this is a public comments section, right??
username33: do you know how long i've been waiting to see a post like this??
username34: all my christmasses just came at once
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by pierregasly, ynusername and 2,593,706 others
charles_leclerc: KING OF MONACO đđïž
103,584 comments
username35: we're so proud of you charles congratulations! â€ïžâ€ïž
ynusername: such an awesome drive, couldn't be happier for you đïžđ
charles_leclerc: @/ynusername thank you for coming to cheer me on!!
username36: about time...bow down to the king đ
maxverstappen1: congrats brother, i'll catch you next time
landonorris: i can see how hard you you're trying not to cry here hahah
username37: you deserve this more than anyone else in the world đđ
oscarpiastri: no one deserved to win more than you today, thrilled for you bro
username38: enjoy the celebrations, they're so well deserved king đđ
carlossainz55: the only time i'll ever say that i'm happy to lose to my teammate hahah
charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 just call me the smooth operator lol
username39: someone please stop the tears from falling now đ
georgerussell63: damn that was a pretty good drive charle
username40: i've never been so on the edge of my seat in my life
lewishamilton: enjoy the monaco celebrations tonight!! đŸ
username41: i'm not even driving yet i feel like all my dreams have come true
pierregasly: we're all so proud of you, all the hard work was worth it my friend
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by charles4life, ferrarifanforever and 1,707 others
f1wags: is this the proof that we needed? during the summer break charles and yn have been seen lapping up the french sun on a local private yacht đ€đïž
username42: nobody speak to me i am officially deceased đ
username43: surely no one can argue with this now
username44: thank you f1 gods for listening to my prayers đđ»
username45: look at those smiles, they're perfect for each other
username46: obsessed obsessed obsessed đ€©đ€©đ€©đ€©
username47: it doesn't feel right to be so happy for two people who don't know who i am
username48: i hope they know just how happy all us fans are for them
username49: my heart is so happy rn â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
username50: just hope that all the fans can get behind them and help them see how adorable they are
username51: it's my birthday today, and now my wish has come true!!
382 comments
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by ynusername, lewishamilton and 3,592,103 others
charles_leclerc: shout-out to my biggest fan, thank you for always cheering me on đ«¶đ»đ
193,605 comments
username52: not charles coming at us with the hard launch like this â€ïžâ€ïž
landonorris: at least now i'm not the only one who has to listen to you gush about yn
username53: i was not prepared for such an adorable set of photos đ„ș
pierregasly: oh you have a girlfriend?? you should've mentioned it hahah đ
username54: how did these two ever think we wouldn't find out about their relationship
georgerussell63: excuse me, double date is when? đ€
carmenmmundt: i second what george just said đ«Ą
ynusername: @/carmenmmundt i'm all yours whenever you want me
ynusername: couldn't be prouder of you...you never fail to blow me away đ©·đ©·
charles_leclerc: @/ynusername i try my best just for you my love
username55: did i mention how obsessed with these two i am yet?
username56: my heart is racing a thousand miles an hour seeing these
carlossainz55: can't believe you tried to pretend that you two weren't dating to the whole team, as if it's not horrifically obvious?? đđ
username57: i'm so happy to see charles with someone whose rooting for him like yn does
username58: btw if there was a competition for cutest couple these two would definitely win đŻ
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 104,684 others
ynusername: I could get used to all this romance stuff with you đ„șđ
21,597 comments
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
ËËË đđđđđđđđđđ ! ÂŽËË
#f1#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 reaction#formula one#formula one x you#formula x reader#formula 1 drabble#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc x reader#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 x you
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
please please please i need you to write something for my man Aegon I love how you write for himđ
âłâĄbefore fire takes it all
Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader
-summary:normally Aegon would ignore Helaena and her strange behavior but,since his wife Y/n got pregnant,he canât help but think about the words his sister said the moment he announced the news.
-warnings:set in season 1,pre blood and cheese and luke death,teen pregnancy(both Aegon and reader are sixteen),talk about child death,Aegon being paranoid and keeping secrets,Helaena predictions,classic asoiaf warnings,reader can be of whatever house you want.
-thank you so much for the request and let me know what you guys think,send you all my loveđ©·
âąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâą
It hurts.
Love,Aegon thinks.
Love hurts.
His heart bursts,his heart explodes,his heart climbs down his throat and assaults his temples, squeezing and compressing them until his eyes darken,until it scars the tormented irises and pupils.
Loving too much is fatal.Or not?
Isn't that so?
Live well,live badly.Does he lives at all?
âI don't knowâ,his conscience responds.
Aegon would like to know,but he doesnât know.He doesnât even think he knows what the right way to live is anymore,heâs terrified that he doesnât know what it means to live anymore.
How can he live?How?
How can he pretend that everything is alright?That everything,in the future,is going to be alright?
Normally Aegon wouldnât think about these sort of things,he used to live day by day dictated by his own selfish desires.But since he had got married two years ago,something in him changed completely.He started to understand what it meant to love and live for someone else,to wake up every morning early to just watch her sleep so soundly next to him,to stay sober at every hour so that he could remember her kind words,her sweet face and calm voice.Wanting to be a different version,a better one,of himself only because she showed him that he deserved happiness and love like everyone else and in return he only wanted to give her the best he could.
But golden necklaces,earrings,beautiful flowers and the most expensive dresses could not fill the hole that was slowly opening under their feet,a hidden tragedy ready to swallow them whole and to break their hearts and souls forever.
Aegon wasnât one to listen to his family,he longed for his mother love and his father attention,he despised his older half sister,made fun of his younger brothers and mostly ignored his other sister.Only this time,something happened,something made him look in Helaena direction for the first time and his ears had caught every single word that she had whispered to herself.
His wife,Lady Y/n,the most beautiful and kind woman,a innocent young girl with a heart too big for her body,was pregnant.It was true,what they said about expecting women,she was glowing like the most precious diamond and her happiness about becoming a mother,the mother of the lover of her life child,couldnât be contained by her shiny eyes and big smile.
«The Maester said that signs suggest is going to be a boy.»Aegon had announced one day at the breakfast table.
His mother had smiled kindly and Aemond had nodded giving his shoulder a warm squeeze.It was still too early in the pregnancy to understand whether is was going to be boy or a girl,but still Aegon had hoped that the Maester was right.Having a son was a dream that he never dared to imagine or to say out loud until then,the living proof that he was going to be better than his father ever was for him.
Helaena was sitting next to him,quietly playing with a wooden butterfly,all lost in the secret gardens of her mind when she muttered something: «A son for a son.»without even understanding her own words.
As their mother and brother were talking,Aegon turned slightly toward her.Usually he wouldnât pay attention to his sister and her strange behavior,he was disgusted by all of those insects that she so lovingly brought everywhere like some pet on a leash and he was so relieved when his father had betrothed him to Y/n instead that her.He wouldnât even lister or look over her if in the past,her silent words of warning werenât revealed to be the sour truth.Aemond had lost an eye just like she had said.Maybe if back then he had listened to her,he would have helped his brother and nothing would have happened.
«What does it mean?»Aegon had whispered to her confused.
Helaena wasnât looking at him,her fingers gracefully tracing the toy«They only want the boy,not the girl.»she said as if she didnât heard him,nodding to herself.
Aegon left the spoon that he was holding,a sensation of nausea was crawling up his stomach,his heart beating faster«The boy?My boy?Who wants him?»he asked.
His sister stayed quiet,every second felt like an agony for him.His mind became of stone and a part of his was laughing for the fact that he was actually really listening to her,to her crazy words and empty head.But still,something,maybe his father instinct that was already part of him,told him that what she was saying was another dark truth.
A boy and a girl,she had said.He was going to have both,twins.He couldnât even imagine it,praying that they would take after their mother soft and gentle spirit but also his fierce nature.Y/n would have been delighted to know that they were about to have twice of the love,but what would she said if she knew that someone wanted their son?
«The rats.»Helaena answered then,her eyes bore holes in his as she turned to look at her older brother,shiny lilac flowers watered in fear and condolences.
It had been months since that conversation and Aegon couldnât stop to think about it.Every night,as he watched Y/n sleep next to him while he so gently caressed her belly where two new lives were growing,he could still feel his sister horrified stare on him and her heavy words in his ears.
Y/n is talking to Aegon,while they were lying under the covers of their bed.Her head is on his chest,her hair smelled of flowers and peaches,her voice sleepy and always so tender as his hand was staying on her swollen stomach.She's talking to him about her day and he can't listen to her,he can't even see her behind his pale eyelashes that lower,behind his tired eyelids that are threatening to close tightly.
With the fingers of his free hand he massage them,the nail of his index finger finds a tear that was hidden there,at the corner of the right eye,and uprooting it,let it be dried out by air.
Aegon was exhausted.He had difficulty to sleep when every sound made him jump,every shadow in the corner gave him a heart attack.
He would like to stop thinking,he would like to find a way to turn off his mind,to blow up the candle that kept his brain from sleeping and this crazy thought makes him understand that he had become even more incredibly pathetic than he already was.
Aegon was terrorized.If he already ignored Helaena,now he was avoiding her like the plague in fear that she could say something else,or worse,talk about her thoughts to Y/n.
Y/n,his beautiful and sweet wife,already had so much to think about.Being eight months pregnant was taking a toll on her,even though she never stopped smiling,he could see that she was tired and that her body couldnât bare it anymore.He couldnât let her worry about something that his weird sister said to him,not when the Maester said that she needed peace,calmness and affection.And even if he hadnât said that,how could Aegon tell her what was keeping him awake at night?
He set more and more knights to follow his wife around to make sure that nothing happened to her and his children,the Maester came to check on her at least once a day and when he wasnât with her,his mother would keep her company in the solarium.He had personally hired people to hunt the rats of the Red Keep.Aegon so often dreamed of being just like the armors that Ser Arryk wears,cold, motionless,empty,that he has come to believe that it would be beautiful,it would be fulfilling,to be something without emotions and rest in a corner without light.
Aegon had still to meet his son,both of his children,after he had dreamed of him,of them,for so long.And yet already someone wanted to take his baby away from him.
The flashes of the veins on his forehead tingle and he clash,he crush himself,against an imaginary expanse of water that slaps his brain,crushes his lungs with long ivory tusks,disfigures his face.
Aegon was blocked.
He was stuck in some claustrophobic scribbled box,in a rusty bubble of his faulty soul,and he was afraid see beyond.But he could see the future,the one that Helaena had tried to warn him about.
He could see beyond and,the certainty is disconcerting,he clearly see that the worst nightmare of any human being,what wakes up men in the middle of the night and scares children with simple shadows,is the awareness of being chased:no one can ever escape from themselves,no one has ever escaped from destiny.
Not even him,especially him.
Because Aegon knew already,tasting it on the tip of his tongue,that what will happen is was going to be his fault.Certainly not because of Y/n.
«Am I boring you?»Y/n voice was tired but still sweet«Forgive me,my days are monotonous,predictable and highly boring.»she huffed,caressing his hand above her stomach.
Ever since she had started showing,her husband treated her like the finest and most delicate porcelain.All she could do during the day was read in their chambers,walk through the gardens and pray with the Queen.Not exactly a vivacious life,especially since Ser Arryk followed her every move.
She yawns,she apologizes,and Aegon finally slam the lumpy eyelashes and look at her.
Y/n is smiling,innocent,carrying his children and then his body moves by itself,he act instinctively, and get her closer to him.
A hand behind her nape,a strong and fast grip, almost stuttered,and Aegon feel her words on the palate,he eat them between his lips moving on her open mouth.He kiss her badly,and he hurt himself,he will hurt both of them,he kiss her following the dull rhythm of his ears,he kiss her and he pass the noise of his thoughts to her.
Aegon feels a hole in the center of his throat,a knot of cries,and this makes him sway and covers his eyes with torn red lightning here and there,it breaks his mind.Yet he keep kissing her.He have to kiss her.
Kissing Y/n scratches his soul,kissing her stirs up his fears and reminds him,in the pause of one of her breath,the so natural way in which pleasure and pain mix,get tangled,whenever pieces of skin graze and play with the tongues and crests of a fire.Fingertips caressing purple flames,white sheets reduced to blackened shreds,a plate of ice lying on the jigular.
Kissing Y/n now is like taking a sip of salt.Filling her mouth,having her under his palms,feeling the boiling heat of her cheeks against his nose and against his upper lip.
Y/n forces Aegon to give her every good part of himself,even those he thought were lost by now,and she does it with twisting tongues or with an annoying clash of teeth.All it takes is a simple touch and heâs willing to give her the world.She makes him wanting to be a better person and he so scared to fail her,that he wouldnât be able to protect her and the most precious things that they created together.
«Aegon.»she whispered on his lips,eyes fluttered closed.
«I love you.»he said without thinking«I love you and our children.And I didn't think I could ever love,not this way.»he confessed,his voice trembling as his mouth was on hers again.
«I love you too.Are you alright sweetheart?»Y/n asked placing a hand on his warm cheek,she could read him like a open book but sometimes even her couldnât understand him completely.
Aegon wished he could tell her all about what was going on in his mind.To share with her his deepest fears,to let her hold him and tell him that everything is going to be alright and that they will be safe and together for all of their lives.
But when she starts kissing him in a different way,like a helpless girl who would let herself do anything from him,when she starts kissing him with a teenage heat,a heat so in love and so lost, then he would like to do something else.
He would like to yell all the terrible words that Helaena told him,he would like to tug on her and burst her stupid and crazy soap bubbles in front of her eyes and he would like to do it just to remind her who he really was.To remind his sweet Y/n that so willingly loved,accepted and cherished him,that believed that with him nothing could touch her,that he was still a dragon and dragons are known to burn people.
Aegon doesnât answer her,he just lets his forehead on hers with his eyes closed.
«You donât have to worry.»Y/n murmured against his skin«You are not like your father and our children already know that,they love you just like I do.»she promised him,their hands interlaced on her belly.
He had voiced his concerns about fatherhood the moment she told him that she was with child,his child.Children now.And she had spent countless nights reassuring him that he was going to be a good father,a better one,unlike his.That he was going to be there for them,but now he knows that he canât escape his own fate.His father shadow will forever be there to remind him that they are just the same:bound to fail their families.
âStop it,please.Stop holding my heart so tight in your hands,that's enough.âAegon thought.
It was in moments like these that Aegon remembered that Y/n was just a girl,a frightened sixteen years old who lives every second with her chest open,her heart too visible to anyone,too exposed.The feelings,the emotions,painted between her bright eyes and lips,make her an easy target,a sacrificial lamb,a too good person who can easily be stabbed in the back.
Her goodness and naivety makes her vulnerable and Aegon knows it,Gods,he knows it.
Because Y/n is not,in the slightest,capable of defending herself,she is not even able to understand the reality of the universe,she does not come to terms with the subtle and treacherous truths.She does not accept the existence of evil in the world,she does not accept the possibility that often what is considered good and right,is not really good,is not really right.
So how could Aegon get her away from the black that drips from his nails,scars,thoughts?Y/n thinks she knows how dark his soul is,she thinks she's got it,but he know she doesnât.
It will never be like this.
«Aegon.»she calls for him again as soon as she realizes that his mind is wandering too far.
Y/n throws his name on his skin and he swallow the panic that warms his esophagus,which runs through his every rib,as he block her head in his hands,almost in a trap.
Aegon push her to lie on the mattress,make her collapse between the pillows almost as if he had beaten her in a duel,and he hovers on top of her relaxed body,carefully holding her stomach.
Y/n doesn't tremble.
Heâs are literally assaulting her and she lets him do it,she agrees,she welcomes him between her legs,in her heart,in her mouth that moves a little away from his and then falls on his eyelids that are still closed.
Aegon wish he could tear his eyes out,blind himself with huge metal spikes.He doesnât let anyone get so close to him,heâd never done it and now more than before he wished didnât do it.Because now they would see it,they already saw it.It was evident,under the lights and everyone eyes that his legacy was about to be born and die all in once.
Even the rats will see it.If someone dared to direct their steps towards Aegon,if someone dared even raise their head towards him,they would see his pupils and find Y/n and their children in there.
At the center of all his thoughts,of all his hopes:the end of an entire life that has bent over itself in the hope of scraping together some more time and living it with them.
So what's wrong?What binds his eyelashes in a white spider web?Could Helaena be right or he was being paranoid again?She was right about the fact that Y/n was carrying twins,the Maester had confirmed it months ago,but could she be right about the rest?
Then he felt it,against his warm palm and his heart skip a beat.A little kick,yet strong and determined to be felt.
«Looks like someone woke up.»Y/n giggled,looking down at her body.
«I didnât mean to wake them.Iâm sorry.»is all that Aegon can whisper and he doesnât even know what heâs really apologizing for.
Y/n listens to him and suddenly recognizes something in the tone of his voice.She relaxes her limbs under him even more,completely wipes away any trace of tension as if someone had just cut the thin threads that moved her body,and she sulks as she touches his lilac eyes that he still deny her,stubbornly.
«Why are you so sad?What happened?»she said,concern covering all her beautiful face.
Itâs not what happened,but what could happen.
Aegon forced a smile on his lips«A bad dream.That's all.»he lies,shaking his head.
Thats what he prayed every night,that it was all a nightmare and that he would wake up soon.
Y/n rubs her fingertips on his eyelashes and he feel her lips lying against his cheekbone.Sheâs smiling.
«Don't worry.I just found the last sleep crumbs that were hiding from you and threw them away. They were the ones who held back the bad dream and now they are gone.»she explained to him,peppering sweet kisses on his face.
Aegon eyelids rise on their own and he clash with the flickering image of his wife looking at him and bringing to his face her index finger on which one of his eyelashes is placed,almost a crescent moon caught in the air and hovering towards the earth.
«Do you want to make a wish?My mother always told me to do it,but I have to admit that almost none of my wishes ever came true in this way. Maybe I was asking for impossible things,out of my reach.Same thing with the shooting stars.Do you want to try anyway?»Y/n was rumbling,now he remembered why she was friends with his sister.
Aegon leverage his elbows,without getting too far away from her and look at her strangely«What?»he asked confused.
His cheeks mottled red and it seems to him that the way she bites her lips is yet another punch against his anesthetized emotions.
«Forgive me,it's such a stupid thing.Please forget it.»and while she is saying it she moves her nail in the act of throwing away his wish that has taken on the common form of a pale eyelash.
Y/n gesture makes the eyelash roll down and it swirls over itself and chases the earth,chases its tail,forms several open circles into which he stick his dream,his nightmare,his hidden thought.
The eyelash is lost on the red carpet and Aegon don't see it anymore.
He look for Y/n gaze again as she pushes him back into kissing her.She asks him,clumsily,to let go of those silly words of hers.The words of a girl that was still too young and forced by her father to grow up too fast,a girl hat was still a child herself with all of her fantasies and fairytales.A child that will raise children soon.
Because Y/n was better than Aegon,she is,even if she doesn't know it,and she showed it to him so many times that he has now lost count of the occasions when he felt at fault.Occasions when he realized he don't deserve her.
Aegon prefer to ignore this reality of the facts,he prefer to put his lips on her collarbone and bite slowly,resume and rummaging through her fertile body,one hand in her hair and the other under her nightgown,and grab as much as much as she offers him.
And Y/n offers Aegon everything,always.
«No wish was ever fulfilled?No one?»the question comes out of his teeth before he can control it,it pours out as his mouth moves over her belly that he suddenly feel quiver.
She is laughing.All three of them are,he realizes as he start tracing with his fingers his children imaginary features on the skin of her stomach.
«Maybe two of them.»Y/n says,referring to the lives she created inside of her«But I found out that my wishes only come true when I look at myself in a puddle.»she laughs again with her mouth open and then moves her head into a pillow.
His fingertips tingle on contact with her skin and his stomach closes into a knot the moment he notice how the intimacy that his movements has turned into familiarity.Because that is what they were going to be soon,a family.
«When did you looked at yourself into a puddle?»Aegon suddenly asked,giggling a bit when another kick met his hand.
Y/n hand found its way into his messy silver locks«The day that my father had accompanied me here for our betrothal.»she tells him,a warm feeling in her chest at the memory.
«It was raining.»he said,he remembered perfectly the first time he saw her.
He remembered her father fussing all over her wet hair,trying to adjust her dress and to make her look presentable.But she was still the most beautiful and vulnerable creature that Aegon had aver seen.A little wet bird in a golden cage.
She nodded«Before entering the Keep i took a deep breath and,as I stared at my reflection into a puddle at my feet,I secretly wished that the husband i was going to have would love him as much as I love looking at the star.»she smiled lovingly down at him.
It came true.Aegon felt his heart exploding in his chest,he loved his wife more than anything in the world.It was so easy for him to love her,how could he not?The thought that she had to wish for something like that,for something that for him was like breathing made his eyes flutter with little tears.
Aegon moved an arm and he already knew that he will hold her hand,remaining palm to palm,as he already know that her fingers will chase his,that they will squeeze,gasps.Wrists banging against wrists,veins in contact.
The time of a whole life that slips away.
«I have never made a wish.»he confessed then.
He just took,he just wanted.
Oh Aegon,what a stupid mistake.
He stole the dreams of his future child,he had plundered entire experiences of the past,and yet he could have simply asked.With courtesy,with kindness.With a little humility.
What a stupid mistake.
«You must have had a really bad dream.»Y/n whispers in her voice broken by his caresses,and then leans and puts her forehead against his as he rise to look at her«But itâs never too late,you can still have your wish.»she reassured him.
No he couldnât and maybe they should stop talking,stop wasting time.They both should just exchange their saliva and shut up.Pant,moan obscenely and stop everything else.Eliminate among them the layers of soul,the remnants of some childish hopes,and join like empty bags.
It would be better this way,Aegon recognize this too,just below the surface,just below the peel of his chest,at least admit with himself that it would be better that way.He should stop discovering her hips with words,with confessions,with Helaena confusing words,with half-truths:it's too risky.
He should just close himself and unite with her only the bodies,discover the consistency of the painless choices and stay there stationary,inside an empty and deep gap in which the arms and legs move frantically without ever finding anything to hold on to.
This was his life once,before her.
Aegon had endless possibilities of oblivion,between the broken lines of the light palms,he had everything a young,spoiled prince could ask for.
The simplicity of superficial human relationships flowed through the buttonholes of his fingers and he continued to be unhappy,stubbornly perpetuated his pursuit of unhappiness,but he didn't know it,and therefore he really wasn't.
Or maybe yes?Maybe a part of him knew that?Is that why his chest is burning now?Because now he was finally happy for the first time and he didnât wanted it to end?
Because now Aegon has Y/n and he managed to create something pure and innocent and beautiful with her,giving them all of the good qualities he didnât knew he possessed.
Y/n seems to listen to his every secret and fear,to feel his breathing change and become noisier,deeper.She place a hand on his abdomen, slowly,she traces with her fingertips first his palm and then also his wrist,then also the blue vein,and repeat his name,repeat his name,repeat his name again.
Aegon enchant himself in front of the movement of her mouth and listen to the ticking of her heart that stretches until it pulls a painful fist on his gums.
Heâs an adult now,a husband and a father.He should behave as such and leave the butterflies to the kids and remember that him,in his stomach and belly,only have the worms of rotten apples.
This happens to those who never make a wish. Didn't he know that?
«I would kill for our family,even innocent people if this means keep the three of you safe.»Aegon suddenly said,voicing his thoughts out loud«Would you still love me after that?»the question is sour in his mouth.
Y/n opens her eyelids to the sound of his question,frantically slams her eyelashes,those eyelashes,and swallows with difficulty.The cheeks are even redder and the ears are also red,the eyes are shiny.Atoms of soul and innocence:they agglomerated together and formed her,a little girl composed of glass and cobwebs,bubbles and feathers.
The bravest Lady he had ever met.
«Of course I will love you.My heart is your for eternity.»she replies and doesn't hesitate for a moment«And I would do the same for us.»she added with a whisper.
Her love for him is equivalent to a black hole in which he could immerse himself and observe a boundless horizon of stars broken and stuck in an icy ground.
She loves him.
And she knows that Aegon loves her too.But right now he can't even answer her,to tell her that heâs sorry,that heâs scared,that he reciprocate her feelings with the same intensity or that maybe he reciprocate them in an even more desperate way than her,crazier.He wish he could tell her that he wished they had more time,that he wasnât who he is,that he wished that they were born in a different place and had different lives to share forever.
Y/n face is beautiful,her forehead is smooth,no flickering lines to scar her tranquility,and the skin near her eyes is crumpled from the day they got married and started to live a life together.It's the restrained cries,the sleepless nights,the quarrels,the misunderstandings,the voracious kisses left on them like square pieces.
Y/n looks at him,her eyes are still shiny,and with her fingertips and palms she clings to his camisole.
Sh clings to him and Aegon doesnât feel any weight,he doesnât feel any pain,no discomfort.Then at least one thing shines certain and bright in his mind:she has become the very consistency of his body.She has entered his limbs,without him noticing,and she is so close to him,beyond the blood and the breaths,that her hand is now an extension of his,her chest is his,her back is his,her lips are his.
And they would be able to see it,all perfectly together in the faces of their children.
And it is not a mere matter of possession,just an arranged marriage to unite two houses,this is not the truth and it will never be.It is something ancestral,like being destined to meet her,being destined to belong to it,being destined to live there,despite time and space.
Aegon and Y/n were sitting on the opposite ends of a timeline,at two distant points in human life, so far away that they saw each other like blurred halos,and they wanted so much to find the other,they have desired it so much,so much,that they have decided to tilt the axes of existence,to hang on to them,and to reunite with an interweaving of hands.
They had bent their faces,touched their souls by ticking of nails,and nothing was the same again.What a stupid mistake they made,something that their innocent son will pay one day.
Aegon felt like he was on fire,his whole body was trembling and his heart ached in his chest«Y/nâŠIâŠI-»but what could he tell her?
He could push her away from him,go ahead and just do it,but on his bones he will still find her shape and her footprints.If he looked for her,looked for her in him,he would find that she was everywhere.
«Y/n,IâmâŠIâm really sorr-»he tried to choke out what he could.
«Do you know what I wanted when I first looked inside a puddle?»Y/n didnât let him finish,instead she kept stroking his face lovingly to help him calm down.
Aegon doesnât move and she puts her index finger against his right temple,light.He knew that,from where she was from,it usually rained during the end of the summer and that she loved playing outside with her siblings and mother.She was the one that taught Y/n to look inside poodles and to dance in the rain,something that she would teach her future children too.
«I wished I could see myself.I wanted it intensely,I really wanted it with all my strength,as I never wanted anything in life.»Y/n started to explain him.
All of her life was planned for her,from the moment she came to the world,by her father that only saw his daughter as piece of chess to move on the board in order to gain power.She didnât even knew who she was if not Lady Y/n,a proper and polite young girl ready to marry in the royal house.But now she knew who she was,what she liked to eat,to read,what to do in her free time and it was all thanks to Aegon that had shown her how to be selfish for the first time and to live for herself.
«And I see myself now,I can see myself,but I'm not happy.Because I have a new wish,much more important:that you can see yourself in the same way I see you,the way our children already see you.Then yes,i would be happy.We would both be happy.»she told him,sincerely with a little smile on her beautiful face.
Y/n had plundered his last feelings,which were nothing more than bread crumbs left attached to the eaten crusts.If the world fell,the sun fell,all the snow,the hail,the rain and the lightning fell,even the rainbow.He will make fire pour from the sky,he will spill blood just to keep his family alive and safe besides him.
Aegon doesnât say anything,he moves forward on top of her and kisses her one again.He has a wish now:time.The only thing he wanted was time,more time to see his children grow up and become beautiful people,time to spend with them and to teach them how the world works,to help them and hold their hands,to protect them when they were scared and to remains them that he will love them forever.More time with Y/n,to love and cherish her,to grow old with her,to make her smile and laugh at the most inappropriate times,to caress her sweet face at night as he watches her sleep.He just wanted more time,he deserved it.
«How about,the next time that rains,we go outside,just us.»Aegon murmurs on her lips«I have a wish to make.»he continued with a small smile.
And he prayed the gods,whoever could listen to him,that it would become true the moment Y/n giggled and nodded her head.He hoped but hope can do nothing against an already written destiny and then he will be ready to go to war.
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon spoilers#aegon ii targaryen#house of the dragon x reader#hotd x y/n#hotd x reader#hotd x you#aegon ii targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen imagine#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon x reader#aegon targaryen#team green#dance of the dragons#x reader#asoiaf x reader#got x reader#fire and blood spoilers#blood and cheese#hotd season 2 spoilers#hotd season 1#imagine#angst#hotd angst#helaena targaryen#jaehaerys targaryen#jaehaera targaryen#fluff
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
heyy u take reqs for mha, right? if so, can i request for a monoma x gen neutral reader? reader's in class 1A and is close with all their classmates, but is secretly dating monoma. it's basically the trope 'enemies in public, but lovers in private' but class 1A and class 1B end up finding out about their relationship and lose their minds LMAO
gn! reader
đŹ: tysm for requesting!! this was so fun to write HSSIDI hope you enjoy !! <33
đ: crack fic kind of??, swearing, written in 2nd pov, monoma is the leader of the sassy man apocalypse, headcanons + a oneshot under the cut :>
being neito monoma's secret lover hcs
during the school festival, neito literally suggested for his class to do a plot where two people would play as secret lovers from different kingdoms that hated each other (he was projecting TEWW MUCH)
one time class 1B was playing truth or dare and he got asked if he was single or not, and this mf said: "my partner goes to a different school! đđđ" bc he couldn't think of any other lie
obviously, everyone poked fun at him
"monoma, y'know being single isn't embarrassing, right..?"
"you can tell us the truth, y'know.."
i feel like kendo probably suspected it at one point
since she saw the way monoma kept investigating your classmates about the villain attacks (as a way of finding out if you're okay or not)
and because his insults towards you was like..so much more detailed compared to your other classmates?? like bro knew EVERY little detail about you, even the details that no one in class 1A knew
she brushed it off though, cause you and neito always argued â there was no way, right? (yes, there was a way)
he claims that class 1A "shines" too much because of you (as a way of hiding the fact that you're the one who he actually pays attention to)
when he approaches class 1A to make fun of them, he actually does it so he can see you (when he sees that you aren't with them, he just scoffs after insulting them, and walks away) (born from the sassy man apocalypse)
your classmates.. i think some of them def knew that you were dating someone, but NOBODY could predict the fact that you'd be dating neito, class 1A's biggest hater, some of your classmates were like "đ€š is this a betrayal or.." đđ goes the same for class 1B, because as said earlier, his insults toward you were so much more..detailed, they thought he hated you more than the others â ïžâ ïž
they found out when they caught you both dancing together during a U.A high school party
"MY JAW.. WHERE'S MY JAW?" - denki when he found out (one second away from going into his "yay mode")
and u have mina in the corner saying that it's like one of those dramatic secret relationship fanfics (which in this case, it is)
for as long as neito monoma remembered, his heart was full of you. almost like the honey of a beehive, slowly overflowing and dropping to the floor. although, he swears that you're sweeter than honey itself. or, at least, that's how it felt. it started with small, short glances, secret hangouts at a small cafe, texting every day, training with each other, bittersweet confessions, and secret good-luck kisses.
but, for as long as class 1B and class 1A (excluding you) knew, neito and you were enemies, rivals, foes, maybe even nemeses. there was only so much your schoolmates could know, though. U.A's rigid course aided you and your boyfriend in keeping your relationship under warp, people failed to notice the longing stare the blond boy would hold whenever he saw you training with what he described to be "tetsutetsu's twin" from class 1A, the slight tone of pride whenever you'd counter an insult of his with your own words, acting like it wasn't your love language reserved for only each other; sneaking away from your respective dorms to meet each other in the ungodly hours of the night, exchanging sweetened words.
you waited on the bus with your classmates, the vehicle bustling with excited conversations; mina and the girls fangirling over each other's outfits, kaminari asking the "are we there yet?" question every five minutes, iida struggling to keep your classmates quiet, and so on. as you fixed your appearance slightly, you checked the time on your watch, reading that it was now 8:00 PM. however, a certain blond texted you, interrupting your moment of silence.
"darling, we have arrived at the venue. where are you?" monoma texts, with a stunning picture of the venue sent under his text. the dim fairy lights hung around the place, the food table with a chocolate fountain and appetizers, and the chandelier that would highlight the bodies of the people dancing.
just as you finished reading his message, you heard your homeroom teacher state that you guys had arrived. almost immediately, everyone cheered, giggling, and rushed out of the bus, exploring the venue after a few reminders from Mr. Aizawa to not get lost, and to behave. you dusted off your clothing, as you looked around for your boyfriend, neito, before you finally messaged him back.
"i'm at the entrance, neito," and not even five minutes later, you heard the only voice that could make your chest feel warm. neito's.
"hey, pretty," you greet, sending him an awkward wink.
he scoffs, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. "hello yourself, sweetheart."
"shall we dance?" he asks, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. you give him a nod, as well as a chuckle. he had the tendency to make things as "theatrical" as possible. you were reminded of the time when you guys reenacted an old classical dance on a random rooftop, with no one else around.
a few moments later, the U.A high school party was in full swing, the pulsating beat of the music reverberating through the crowded gymnasium. amidst the sea of bodies, you and your blond boyfriend were drowning in the rhythm, dancing together in the dim atmosphere.
however, the dim atmosphere wasn't enough to hide you and your boyfriend, as well as your secret relationship.
kaminari spat out his drink from a few meters away. he, and mina were hanging out in the food table. "is that (name) and monoma?! the guy that hates us all?!" his jaw drops right after his statement, as he nudged the pink-haired girl beside him. the girl's eyes widen, before she squeals happily, "it's like a forbidden romance! eek!"
in the other side, there was tetsutetsu and kirishima. "yo, that's monoma/(name), your classmate!" they said to each other at the same time, and same speed.
you and neito exchanged a knowing glance, overhearing your classmates' reactions.
"monoma, did you force (name) to dance with you?!" kendo exclaimed, looking at her classmate with furrowed brows, and holding empathy for you. your laugh started off as small snickers, and then to a full-blown laugh, as you fell to your knees, giggling and holding your stomach. in the background was your boyfriend explaining, waving his hands as if to defend himself.
"you and monoma?" mina asks with a grin, behind her, were your classmates, who stopped to hear your answer. flies were about to fly into their mouths, at this rate.
"me and monoma," you replied, chuckling at the whole ordeal.
the situation made the night more entertaining than ever.
© 2024 JULSVU. all rights reserved. please don't plagiarize, translate, put in other websites or copy my work without permission. ty!
#monoma neito x reader#monoma neito x you#monoma neito#monoma neito x y/n#bnha x reader#boku no hero academia x reader#mha x reader#my hero academia x reader#monoma x reader#neito x reader#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#fluff
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay but shy/bunny reader being used to bestfriend!Rafe ditching her because heâs with some girl, she never points it out and somehow she always lets it go because sheâs just a babyy and Rafe starts realising that they donât hang out as muchđđ
it was hard seeing rafe goâalways was, and always will be.
you tried to convince yourself you were used to it now, but the familiar ache in your chest when he'd say goodbye to you, topper, and kelce and walk away hand in hand with his flavor of the week was getting worse and worse.
before you'd realized you had feelings for rafeâbeyond just the affection you gave to your close friendsâyou hadn't cared at all. you'd even encouraged it, same way you did with top and kelce, offering advice and recommending which flowers to bring, what places to bring them.
not that rafe ever really needed your help. it seems since the day he'd become your best friend, there was a line of girls hanging behind the two of you, seemingly waiting for their turn. at night, when it felt worseâand somehow it always did feel worse in your bed alone, wondering if rafe's was empty too and knowing that it wasn'tâyou tried to make yourself feel better.
you're still here, and they're notâthat's how you tried. it worked for a little.
the newest girl had been around for a record three weeks, so even your usual bandaid for your shattered heart wasn't helping the wound heal.
so far, he'd skipped two meals, a day at the course, and half of a boat day to spend with her instead of you. you, kelce, and top that is. you'd hoped today was going to be different, walking back to top's jeep after lunch to head to the marina.
"you're not coming?" you call out to rafe, who was walking back in the direction of his own car. kelce and top are too far away to hearâgetting into the front already. you were always stuck in the back, and you had never minded when rafe was there to keep you company.
rafe flicks his eyes over you, taking in the new dress you really shouldn't have bought just to see what kind of reaction you could get from him. your bag has your bikini in it and one of his button ups to cover you and he sees it poking outâwhite seersucker temporarily distracting him.
"rafe?"
"yeah. sorry, no. made plans with-"
"yeah, of course you did." you cut him off, and though even a few weeks ago you couldn't have imagined the vitriol in your voice, it comes out all too easy. "have fun."
you try to walk away but his footsteps followâand damn his long legs, because he gets infront of you before you can escape.
"what, kid? you mad at me?"
you shouldn't say something. you shouldn't say anything.
"we're going to the boat. you said you were coming. i cut fruit for you."
"i-i'm sorry. top will eat it."
"it's not for him. that's not the point." the words teeter on the edgeâwanting so badly to tell him that you miss him. that he never hangs out with you anymore, that he's choosing some girl over you and it stings worse than anything you've felt so far.
you're not sure when it started feeling so differentârafe's always done this. and standing two feet from the jeep, kelce sticking his head out the window to yell at you to get in, you realize you're going to reveal yourself if you don't shut up.
"have fun, rafe. sorry. bye."
you don't give him a chance to respond, but it doesn't take anything else for the gears to click. you're too quiet to ever admit it, too shy to say what you're really thinking, and rafe knows thatâhe's known it since he met you.
standing there, watching you drive away with kelce and top, he briefly wonders what the last time was he did something just with you. he can't even remember it. it all blurs togetherâlate night runs for ice cream and breakfast while top and kelce were still passed out. the sweet way you smile at him and how your expression changes when he goes to the girl who's waiting for him. he gets in the car and can't decide which direction to turnâtowards this girl or towards you.
on the boat, you kick up your feet and open your book, trying to drown out the chatter of kelce and top trying to get out of the marina and focus singularly on the romance in your hands rather than the one in your brain. you drown it out a little too much.
"that the one i got you?" rafe asks from somewhere next to you.
"god-" you exclaim, book slipping from your grip and thudding on the boat. "you scared me." catching your breath, you bend to pick up your book, but rafe beats you to it, picking it up and placing it on your lap.
"sorry."
"what happened to your plans?" rafe shrugs. you wish your heartbeat would slow down. you look down at your lap and rafe looks over youâexposed skin shiny with sunblock, a blue bikini he thinks he's never noticed before, matching nails that suit you.
"already had plans with you, remember?"
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#shy reader#AHHH So fun to write this!! blending aus together#<33 hope you like it angel
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
pregnant reader and Spencer fic where he makes her cry on accident đđ
Hii lovely, ty for the requestđ„°! Hope this is okay, warnings: fluff, kisses, like one swear word, reader cries (not because of something bad tho, it's cute), use of pet names (0.6k)
Spencer is running late at least later than he'd told you he would be and he can't stress it more. You've been home alone almost the whole day, and Spencer knows you are probably more than lonely.
But even if he's already late Spencer makes one more stop to get some groceries before heading home to you.
When he finally arrives home, he can't stop apologising as you greet him by the door, the baby bump very visible underneath one of his sweaters.
"Hi sweetheart, I'm so sorry I'm late there was a problem we needed to deal with," Spencer apologises and kisses your cheek.
"It's okay, Spence," you say into his shirt, already hugging him tightly, "I missed you a lot though."
Spencer looks at you like he always does with a too loving smile, "I missed you two, too."
Spencer ushers you towards the couch, he doesn't want you to be standing for too long 'cause he knows your feet would hurt, and also because he intends to cuddle you as much as possible there.
He quickly unpacks the groceries, and remembers the snacks he's bought for you. What he doesn't know is that you've been craving exactly the same snack he's bought the entire day.
"Here I got you these sweetheart," Spencer gives the snacks to you and rushes to the bedroom to change into something much more comfortable than the suit.
You stay still, your eyes filling up with tears as you hold the snacks in your hands.
When he comes back to you, he finds you eating the snacks while the tears run down by your cheeks.
"Woah, woah, woah, what's wrong?" Spencer immediately sits next to you, and starts to wipe the tears away.
"I just....-" you start with small hiccup, "I just love you so much."
A warm chuckle escapes Spencer's mouth, before he's back to comforting you. He's read every single book there's on pregnancy, so he knows how tough it is with the changes of hormones.
"Oh, baby, I love you too is that why you're crying, huh? Or is it something else? Maybe me being late?" He really hope it isn't the latter.
"N-no, I just-... I just really wanted these snacks all day, Spence," you tell him as another set of tears escapes from your eyes, "a-and they are too good."
"Oh sweetheart, if I knew you wanted them so badly i would have bought more," Spencer tells you with a sympathetic smile.
He understands it can be a lot for you from time to time, even if it's something as simple as craving some snack, so he let's you eat your snacks while he wipes away the tears. He does that until the snacks are gone along with the tears.
You look just unhappy about finishing the snacks as you did minutes ago eating them. You give him a puppy eyes, and Spencer is up on his legs before you can even say his name.
"Spencer...?"
"Don't worry, lovely. I got it, I'll buy you more than enough," Spencer quickly gives you a kiss, and goes to put on his shoes, car keys already in his hand.
"Spence?"
"Yes?" he looks back at you so fucking lovingly completely unbothered about the fact that he has to go to the shop again that you think you might start crying again (Spencer loves you so much that it happens a lot, you crying about how much you love him).
"Of course, but only if you really want to. I don't mind going alone."
"I want to," you say enthusiasticly. That is all Spencer needs to take your shoes, and go back to you. He puts the shoes on for you, kisses your bump, and helps you get up.
"C'mon, sweetheart. I'll get you anything you want if you tell me about your day, " Spencer happily listens to you chatter about everything that crossed your mind through the day.
You and Spencer leave the shop with way too many snacks, but it's okay because you're happy as one can be and that's all Spencer needs, okay maybe the cuddles too.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#spencer reid
2K notes
·
View notes