#it's not always easy to be living in this world of pain | main verse: fourth season | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sidebaxolotl · 11 months ago

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I have a question for you if you wouldn’t mind answering. I’m a lesbian and I’ve been considering turning to religion and being side b, but my main question is why would God want me to suffer this much? Why would He let me date my girlfriend for 3 years, all of which has been blissfully happy and feels totally right and good, if He really wants me to give it all up and break both of our hearts? It doesn’t feel like sin to me. We didn’t even sleep with each other until we’d been together for a year because I found it very hard to get over my shame and they waited for me the entire time. Isn’t there that verse about the fruit something brings? Being a lesbian has brought nothing but joy into my life. In fact, the only suffering it’s caused me is when I used to try to be side b. I don’t see why God would want that for me if He allowed me to be made a lesbian.

And to be honest, it seems like most of the side b people I know struggle a lot with being side b, like it doesn’t come naturally to them. I wonder how you reconcile that difficulty and pain with believing that a good God would want this for you. You could make the argument that Satan wants you to suffer and is causing your temptation, but if that’s the case why doesn’t God just fix it, if He’s all powerful? Maybe He wants me to have free will, but I’ve asked Him countless times to make me straight so it’s not like I want to be gay.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just find this sort of thing really hard to wrap my head around, but I want there to be a good answer that I can hold on to.

Hey friend! To be honest I do understand where you're coming from. My relationship with my ex was one of the most wonderful things ive ever felt, and it did feel right and very good, unlike a lot of the sin in my life. Even now I struggle sometimes to reconcile that and I know if things hadn't ended so badly I'd be in your situation right now. I also prayed many times that God would make me straight (and for a while I thought it worked lmao). For a long time after The Breakup I struggled really hard with what to do, i was struggling with lesbian erotica/fandom content, wondering what to do with my faith, wondering if I should force myself to marry a man, crying out to God to curse Him or blame Him for my situation, for taking her away from me, etc. I fell into a very deep depression and was very close to unaliving myself over it (and other things). I had to go on medication for an extended period of time because I did not want to live. It was a really rough time in my life and I'm glad despite all the things that I said and did out of grief that I made it out of that period of my life with my relationship to God in tact. Letting go of sin, particularly sexuality related sin can be really hard because sin doesn't always feel bad. A lot of sin does and has immediate consequences, which makes it particularly easy to avoid/stop doing but a lot of it doesn't. We live in a world where sin has permeated the deepest reaches of our universe and our own bodies. Our own judgement apart from Christ cannot always be trusted:

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

So it might not feel bad or wrong(it still doesn't feel that way to me personally), but we know God is objectively good and knows what is best, so if He says its bad, then its bad. There are reasons for this, but that's beyond the scope of this post so maybe another time. What I will also say though, is that the Christian life is hard in general and suffering is guaranteed. The apostles suffered--many of them endured gruesome deaths for the sake of the gospel, and even Jesus, the author and sustainer of our faith was abandoned by his friends and made to unjustly die on a cross with common criminals. If the son of God, the prince of peace, could not escape this fate then neither will we. This particular passage comes to mind:

"But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps" 1 Peter 2

The thing about Christian suffering is that none of it is meaningless. Because of God's grace and mercy He can use something that was never meant to exist (suffering and pain) and use it to bring us closer to Him and help build us into the people we should be, emulating God's character and love. These are some verses about suffering in regards to faith that I've found particularly helpful or enlightening:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" 2 Cor 4:16-18 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:2-4

And as Christians we know for sure our suffering is not eternal. When we shed this mortal coil we will never feel the sting of sin ever again. And when the New heavens and the New earth are brought to fruition we will experience life as it always was supposed to be. And even now my life isn't just suffering. I'm doing very well now. I'm no longer depressed, I'm off medication (with doctor approval). I genuinely love my life. I'm super satisfied with being single, i freaking love it honestly lol. And my relationship with God is stronger than its ever been. Being side b isn't always easy but it really is not a death sentence devoid of happiness either!

#if u need to talk or send more asks im all ears!!#prayin for ya anon!#answers #side b ssa #side b

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ma3-author · 2 years ago

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Previous CH: -ɴᴏᴛᴇ- /// ✎ 00 ✉ /// ✎ 01 ✉ /// ✎ 02 ✉ /// ✎ 03 ✉ /// ✎ 04 ✉ /// ✎ 05 ✉ /// ✎ 06 ✉ /// ✎ 07 ✉ /// ✎ 08 ✉ /// ✎ 09 ✉ /// ✎ 10 ✉ /// ✎ 11 ✉ /// ✎ 12 ✉ /// ✎ 13 ✉ /// ✎ 14 ✉ /// ✎ 15 ✉ /// ✎ 16 ✉ /// ✎ 17 ✉ /// ✎ 18 ✉ /// ✎ 19 ✉ /// ✎ 20.1 ✉ /// ✎ 20 ✉ /// ✎ 21 ✉ /// ✎ 22 ✉ /// ✎ 23 ✉ /// ✎ 24 ✉ /// ✎ 25 ✉ /// ✎ 26 ✉ /// ✎ 27 ✉

Arthur, if only you didn't meet Sylvia. Sein won't go through all of that pain. but if it weren't for you two, Sein wouldn't be alive as well.

As you may have noticed, I don't usually update at Tumblr. I'm mostly updating on Wattpad and Quotev. You can view my profile down below and click on the schedule. or more books of mine.

___________________________________

She has lived in that world for over twelve years, considering her young age. She tried to research where she was or who among them was in that world. Not too long after she found the place she was in, she met the twin that she would later befriend and tried to change the fate of one of them. It wasn't as easy as it looked, because while she was changing it, she was looking for a way out.

Soon, the brothers arrived. Things became harder and more challenging for her, but even so, she didn’t give up. Even if she’s gotten hurt to the point of getting caught. To her, in her mind. She needs to go home. She promises herself that once she gets home, she will never turn around and look at them. Leaving it all in her imagination.

She almost didn’t get out because of a certain person. She was so focused on trying to go home that she didn’t notice that her action caused something to stir in that person's mind. That’s why she has a scar—a reminder to always look out. Outside the box

Though it was her fault in the beginning, why does she care? In the first place, she doesn’t even see them as people. Only a character that was just created by a person That’s when she started to feel something about this character. She knew that this would be a problem. A big problem.

Yes, she feels sympathy. But anyone would be as well-versed if they read their story. But soon, she started to have emotion rather than sympathy alone. Is it that she will miss them? Guilty for leaving? Something like that

Why would she have those things when she knew they were just mere characters? Right… Human feelings are really fucked up. Is like what Fredrick is feeling. Maybe this is a new syndrome...

What's more, they’re no longer a character. But a real person.

You have more than three days before you get sent back to that nightmare of a manor again, and this time instead of stopping Gwen from touching Aida, which you prevented on some occasions, Trying to prevent some other unfortunate ones as well. Having a scar because of him, then finally escaping for good only to return.

So confusing… so exhausting... Why is this my responsibility? I didn’t even ask for it...

This time, she didn’t get sent back. Instead, she returns of her own accord. Oh, how she hated that this was her responsibility now. It's like the story gave her a choice. Let them die, or you can go back and try to save them. Why is that even an option?

Again, they’re no longer a character if two worlds exist. The key and book exist. Lady Herior and Lady Fillia are the proof. Which means all the characters are now human beings. You wanted to look for who sent you; ask them. Why me? Why not other people? But that would be a waste of time.

Beside... you’ll just do what you did on the previous mission. This time, you're not the main, you're a background character. That's like a save point for every character, or perhaps she. You can’t do it alone... You're not that crazy to conduct it all on your own; you need her for this mission.

That’s why you're not only a mere background character nor a save point, but a secret helper and merchandiser.

"The Cypress"

___________________________________

Aisha perspective

Tick Tock~

Inside the Dimoche manor lived two twins. While one prefers to read. The other is the opposite of her twin. They didn’t get the chance to see their own mother, but they knew she was as beautiful as the snowflakes. Kind as their father described. Even if they hadn’t inherited her silver locks. For them, they’re thankful that she gave birth to them.

They're already satisfied with what they have. That is when she arrived. They thought their mother got reborn at the same age as them. Different families, statuses, looks But the silver locks gave it away. Just seeing her after the wind blew her silly big hat

Just like a snowflake. Lady Y/N was beautiful. Then it was followed by her kindness. For the first time. Aisha and Aida felt this as motherly love. She treats them equally. Looks at them the same. Spoiled them with these beautiful gifts. She acts more mature than someone her own age should be.

Tick Tock~

Aida didn’t see this. The mature part But Aisha had seen it. She was always happy whenever she got the chance to read and talk about books. Oh, how she misses those days. As soon as the brothers arrived, they ruined the peaceful environment around them. Taking Lady, Y/N

Aisha didn’t let it bother her, but she can’t help it. She was jealous of it. Envy for the others. In her mind, this will end soon. She knew that one day she and her sister would drive Sylvia and her sons away. But that day didn’t happen, as her sister has become blind and deaf.

She tried to stay strong, as one person had supported her, until that very tragic day happened. That shudders her. Even if it hurt her, she knew that the one who was in great pain was her sister, as she was always around her. Just watching her sister staring into a blank space, almost not eating. It scared her. It made her worried.

She did ask for some help... from her fairy tale friend. She knew one person who could think logically and had helped her before. Unlike the other one. But as time passed, days, weeks passed. Cypress never responds. It left her in silence. Did cypress leave her too?

Ding Ding~!

The loud clock had woken Aisha. She immediately jolted upward and sat against her bed. Huffing and panting, she felt sweat covering her forehead. Just now. She dreamed of her again, this time. Y/N was running toward them, shouting something that she didn’t quite hear. Maybe this was better than her previous dream. Instead of seeing her corpse that got molded by a wild animal. After what the police said, she always dreams about it.

*Pant* ‘What was that?’ She grumbled then peeked at her left side, seeing that Aida was still asleep. She can’t help but sigh again. Aida didn’t eat that much today; it really worried her. She quickly stood up from her bed, planning to get some bread sticks and water to give them to her sister.

Aisha won’t lie; she was guilty. She already knew something was up after what Y/N told her about Sylvia, and it was in a hurry. Y/N was in a hurry. Not only that, but the fresh cut in her lips says something. Yet she never did anything to stop her... Aisha knew. That Y/N is still alive. She can feel it.

Or... maybe it was her fault indeed. If only her mind wasn’t clouded on that day, maybe none of this would happen. Maybe Y/N would still be walking alongside her in this dark hallway where the only source of light is the moon. Talking about books. Taking a bite out of the bread and giving her one. But there was only coldness surrounding her.

Tick Tock~

The clock started again, and so did the day. Aida didn’t eat that much again, but for Aisha, it was better than nothing. Right now, the two of them are watching the new housekeeper, who just arrived in front of the manor. The previous one was fired due to old age. They’re watching it through the big window. The same spot where they first spotted Y/N. spotted Sylvia and her sons.

Soon, Sylvia announced that mister Duncan is the manor’s new housekeeper. Unexpectedly, another guess arrived shortly. She was dressed in a simple, non-flashy dress with a cape over it. She arrived with only one suitcase and a note in one hand, giving it to Sylvia Dimoche.

The twins, the brothers, and even the new housekeeper were curious as to who had just arrived. Just by their eyes: This person, whom Sylvia later announced after reading the letter, is a new house worker who would stay and work as a personal maid for the twins. Is not much older than the twins. Only the height is different.

On that note, it was simply a message left by Gwen Dimoche. That was kept by Lady Fillia herself. Sylvia won’t think that it’s fake, as the symbol that is marked on that letter means that only someone higher up, like Lady Fillia, can have access to it. She will get suspicious first, but that soon will be forgotten as she will be busy making love with her long-lost love and her other scheme.

Originally, you planned to go there as a simple maid that got recommended, but with all the work, you won’t have that time to check on them and will be more suspicious that you're following behind them. So you changed it to personal maid. With that, even if you still have some work, It will only be in Aisha and Aida’s surroundings. That can also be the case with the brothers.

The night soon followed. The worker who showed you where you will stay until Aisha and Aida grow older or when you save them all It was a medium-sized space, but there was plenty of room to go around. What you like about this room is that it is near where the twins rooms are. You might have told Grandma to specify the request.

As you thanked the worker. You immediately took out the eye drop as your eyes were so dry after a whole day of introducing yourself to Aisha and Aida. Just looking at them, they’re still wearing a mourning outfit. Aida had gotten a bit thin, unlike her chubby self. This made you feel sympathy for her and panic because this is the second pace after Nemo went to sleep for good but after spotting him in the crowd. you maintain your smiling lips to show up.

Maybe you don't need to force yourself, as someone has already helped you not to smile. Instead, you had bitten your inside lips when your eyes glimpsed at him and made your blood boil. Oh, how you can’t forget what he did. Because of him, you almost didn’t get out of that nightmare. For a mintime. Before tomorrow arrived. You took out all the things you will use. As for the eye drop, You need to be careful while using it. Because back then, people didn’t wear contact lenses.

( Just a quick note: Contact lenses as we know them today were not developed until 1936, when a New York optometrist named William Feinbloom fabricated the first American-made contact lenses and introduced the use of plastic lenses. In 1960, Otto Wichterle from Czechoslovakia developed the material used for the first soft lenses.)

(Now this story is set in 1856, as already written in the title. Now continue.)

Inside the twins' room While one was laying on her bed in a sideways, silents only be heard. One was trying to let her sister eat the breadstick she saved. "Aida, at least have two bites of this bread. You didn’t eat that much at dinner; you could get sick if you keep doing this." Aisha pleaded, sighing, as Aida just looked at her.

Soon she sat up from her bed, taking Aisha’s offer. If Aisha’s worried about Aida, as well as her. Just seeing Aisha’s sad frown, she started eating it, but not for long. She asked her sister something: "Aisha, do you think... that maid had worse than us?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Her eyes… is so cold. The way she talks is like, she lost something so dear."

Aisha agreed with what Aida said. Their first impression of their personal maid is like the word. They can’t describe That wasn’t the only thing they noticed. Even Sein's hair can't compete with her black raven hair. Her brown, dark eyes It was so dark that they thought they could see their own reflection. Then her height is only a few centimeters higher than theirs. Aisha thought she saw something on her lips, but maybe it was just dirt.

"We don’t know her story, Aida. And we don’t need to know what she’s going through. Don’t compare our grief to a stranger."

"She’s not a stranger; she’s our maid now."

"You’re right. But we still don’t know her; maybe it’s one of Sylvia's schemes."

Aida sighs as Aisha is in it again: "Dear Sister, Madam Sylvia had already told us that it came from Dear Father and was sent by Lady Y/N grandmother. I don’t think it’s Sylvia's scheme... nor do I want to think about it." Just remembering how this maid looks at her... tells her that this maid is in mourning for something bad.

"You might be right, but I know that she’s planning something, finding an opening." I just need some evidence. Aida, believe me." Again, Aisha explained.

Aida gave her a smiling frown and said, "I do believe you, sister... but not now... I’m still grieving."

"I'm sorry, Aida... your right."

"It’s okay; I know it’s also hard for you... Aisha, what do you think she’s doing now? Is she playing with mother and father? Waiting for us?" Aida giggled, and she then looked outside the window, gazing at the many snowflakes raining down on their manor.

Aisha quickly took Aida’s attention, exclaiming. "Aida, don’t think that way! Wherever she is, she wants us to stay strong and always stick together. The same goes to mother and father."

"… Thank you for always looking out for me. Here, I’m already full."

Aisha looked down at the unfinished bread again and at Aida, who had already returned to her usual spot. This was a first for Aisha, and she hopes that she will find that evidence soon before things unexpectedly happen. She hoped that Cypress was just sleeping. Because as of now, she’s struggling. She doesn’t even know how to start.

Maybe she didn’t need to wait any longer when a sudden knock startled her. She first glanced at her sister, who was now fast asleep. "Who is it?" with no response, Aisha quickly made her way to the door. She wasn’t even half way to the door when her eyes spotted a letter on the ground.

She carefully picked it up and opened it without hesitation. As she read every letter, her smile almost broke her stern look. A big smile was displayed on her face. She carefully made her way to her bed, rereading the note again. Like the snowflakes that cover the road. It will soon be removed once the light shines down.

+I did leave, but... I returned; I will help you now, but we need patience. Did you remember what I wrote last time?+

"Of course. "Don't rush; wait and find the right time."

As Aisha Dimoche and the previous Y/N Pellereli, which now goes by the name F/N or Cypress by Aisha, are already in the set, The only thing missing now is finding the right time. Set it back before the clock resets again. Before anyone could see that the little hand was in the wrong spot,

…. Tick tock

___________________________________

"Some of you have secretly brought uneaten food and unused ornaments back home. From now on, I’ll do spot checks every day, and I hope that all of you know how to be grateful and repay the mistress with your hard work."

As Arthur, who now goes by Mister Duncan, explained all the new ground rules inside the Dimoche manor, a new housekeeper was doing his job. He continued to explain it. "You must know that-- You may never be able to find another job that is as good as this. Pass on what I’ve said to the other odd-job workers in this manor."

At that point, all the servant could do was obey his command. Not too far from where Mister Duncan is standing are three girls at the entrance. Aisha was telling Aida about the serious matter that was now being held in front of them. You agreed with Aisha when she said it was unfair, but all they could do was bear with it.

"Mister Lance is at an old age already; it isn’t a bad thing to get a younger housekeeper. Right F/N?"

"Yes, Miss Aida."

Aisha eyed carefully the maid standing not too far from them, her head bowing. Never looking at them. Every answer is always short and precise. After getting woken up by their personal maid, even though they had never had any personal maids before and this was all new to them, their morning routine has become quicker and they are always on time.

Can be their lessons, breakfast, and walking. Aisha finds it weird as to how this maid knew their routine when it’s only a day. She asked her about it, as it was very suspicious. The answer she got was that Sylvia had told her all the things the twin needed. It need to be in exact time, right food. And always in their classes. Like how Sylvia wants them to be noble people.

Aida sympathized with their maid, finding it so hard to do all of that just for them. Aisha is still cautious around this maid. Even if Lady Fillia was the person to send that note. It might be fake. For now, her guards are still up.

You figure this will happen. Which wasn’t surprising, as she did it back then, when you first met them. Even if you can’t get close to any of them. The goal is to prevent the unforeseen. It would be a miracle if one of them got close to a mere maid at that time (masters, dukes, or the lady of the house). are rarely in a long conversation with a servant. Only a Q and A action

"Have you eaten F/N?"

"I have; thank you for asking, Miss Aida."

"That’s good… " For some reason, Aida found herself staring at her. It’s like this maid looks familiar in some way that she can’t explain. Maybe she was just used to having her deceased friend by her and her sister's sides. Like this maid, just fill in a blank-

"Is something wrong, Miss Aida?"

Aida quickly snapped out of her thoughts. "It’s nothing." She then glanced at Aisha, who had been watching her from the start. "Sister, is everything okay?"

"Yes… just not used to having a maid beside us. Sorry." As it has always been their friend.

"It’s okay, Miss Aida. Would you like me to move away?"

"N-no! You can stay"

With a single nod, you stayed in your spot. As the twins continued talking, you carefully looked past them to the person who was adjusting his eyeglasses. Mister Duncan, or rather Arthur He is the same as you but has a different goal. Even though he's too far away for you to see his full appearance.

"But…"

"What’s wrong?" Aida asks, seeing Aisha’s frowning look.

"I don’t know if it’s just a misperception of mine, but he looks... somewhat like Sein."

You don’t even need to give your opinion on this one, as he looks exactly like Sein. Knowing already that Arthur is Sein's father, you just hope that If Sein already figured out who this person is. It won’t be the same case as yours. But you're positive that he won’t catch you at an early stage or even in the final stage. Why? You disguise yourself by using modern tools.

"...Oh, you noticed it too? I thought so too from the very beginning… " Aida is debating whether she should talk to the new housekeeper, but she doesn’t have any energy, so she just told Aisha that she would return to their room. Aisha could only sigh, who then told you to get some quick snacks and a warm tea.

"Of course, Miss Aisha. It will be there soon." It was worse than you thought it would be. Aida didn't approach Arthur and ask him something.

While you made your way to the kitchen. At Aisha's side. in her head. Maybe this maid won’t be as bad as she thought. with her around. She doesn’t need to always go down and get some food. And with that time, she can go look around while this maid watches over her sister as well.

She now understands that the reason she hasn’t started yet is because she was worried that Aida isn’t eating properly and is alone. Even if she will feel guilty for leaving her sister alone with this maid. This is the only chance she gets, as the maid also has a duty to fetch her. Not only that, but Cypress had given her the first thing she would do.

But for now, she will wait a week or so before she begins it. She needs to see first if this maid is up their alley or not. While Aisha escorted her sister. Here you are walking toward the kitchen to get some food for Aida and Aisha. Even though it’s risky, you still did it. With the tea you made. The tea you learned to earn their trust at first and at Gwen This tea can calm their nerves. It also helps yours.

You made sure that you only brewed enough for three people. No one can taste this tea. It was a bad idea to use it on the brothers as well. Luckily, you never did it to Sylvia.

"That smells good~ Did you make it?"

You wanted to click your tongue so hard when this person blocked your view. You thought he already left and smoke whichever place he could do so. You even made this tea at the right time, as he ordered the servant to tell it to the others. So you have the whole kitchen to yourself.

That time was too early, as Arthur, or rather, George Duncan, had blocked your path and was now waiting for your reply. You wanted to ignore him, but that would be rude and suspicious. Just like they said, like Father. Like son. But you're not comparing Sein to this douchebag. As Sein had things worse. Though you're still pissed about what Sein did.

"No, Mister (douchebag) Duncan. I just grabbed it from a jar." Obviously, you lied.

"Is that so? Then perhaps show me where you got it. I would also want to make my own."

‘Should I just throw this tray at you?’

"I'm afraid that I don’t have the time. The misses is waiting for me, and I need to be there in time. Would you excuse me?" With a stern, cold voice followed by a quick bow, you made your way out, not caring if he looked at you like Sein looks when something catches his interest.

You're not scared, not anymore. After experiencing those things, this is just a hitch. After all, he will be busy making love with Sylvia all night. Stealing money and stuff, oh, as well as talking to Sein later on The coat he would never wear again after Sein commented something.

╰┈➤ ❝ [✎ 29 🕮 ] ❞

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Of course, I will add Arthur! to make things interesting! Who wouldn't want a son and a father after MC? Like bonding! Haha, I would. Just going to make MC suffer. (Joke!) Maybe in the future.

Just a reminder, this is also an obsessive/passive/aggressive/Yandere book. so good luck! mostly me, as I need to come up with the story haha.

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More books of mine

NEW CHAPTERS: SCHEDULE OF UPLOADING

Sequel for the next chapter

#aishamanga #aisha #sein #manhua #horror #webtoon

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dreamsofandroidsndrones · 3 months ago

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Alt Verses/Fandoms

{Note that the "abouts" will be prone to change and the ones already written are just a starting point.}

Main Verse

In some stupid amount of dumb luck or even a miracle, Tessa barely managed to escape her family's estate in the horrific event of Cyn slaughtering everyone at the gala. Tessa herself barely remembers how, other than completely adrenaline pumping chaos and pain bone deep. Lots of it, before waking up somewhere away from home after having passed out in the swamplands. Who found her? To the imagination.

Time skip a few years later and Tessa is a still awkward young adult. She has not been on earth since that night, witnessing the catastrophic end of her world at a distance. Not that she has been slacking in productivity on the sidelines. Tessa just might be onto something in re-creating a program to either erase or control the wild AI that is Absolute Solver.

Detroit Become Human Verse

[WIP]

Borderlands Verse

Tessa is a young woman who comes from a branched out and new corporation that entered the scene on Pandora. Proudly dubbed JCJenson in Spaaaaaaace that specializes in creating worker robots and mining for resources than focusing on weapons. Of course like most things, Her parent's company suddenly burned to the ground within its varying branches after a rather horrific AI virus spread from a found alien artifact, infecting majority of said drones. While there were safety measures that helped disassemble murderous rouge machines, the damage was already done. Many dead or fled for their lives. The rest was torn apart from opportunistic bandits or picked clean by predatory companies. Outside of a will, a deed to said company, and two humanoid androids, there's nothing left to really salvage for an orphaned heiress. Although Tessa isn't going to roll over that easy damnit.

Dead By Daylight Verse

Survivor Tessa can barely remember how she even got to this horrible world. The chaos, agony and bloodshed of the gala massacre melted away into a cold black mist. Now she is stuck in this strange dark place, struggling to figure where this world even is? Outside of that, this place is seemingly empty… maybe not too bad??? Well the mean and vulgar killers as less to be desired… Now if only she could ignore the fact there is a rotting, eldritch horror of a fleshy corpse that looks exactly like her peering just out of her sight…

Outlast Verse

[WIP]

Devil May Cry Verse

Trying to further build up wealth through dealing in demonic monsters and powerful artifacts was always going to blow up in her parent's face with the way they went about that situation. Long story short added with some spicey trauma drama, Tessa is an oddball heiress who, while knows better than to make deals with monsters, still fell into the footsteps of her parents. Trying to rebuild her broken empire with what money is left all the while putting all her energy into engineering a proper counter weapon akin to what previously mentioned corporation was trying to achieve. Before it blew up. Only she will try to play it smarter… hopefully? Though digging up the dead and playing with the unknown isn't exactly all that smarter is it?? {Tessa is an up and coming necromancer with a demonic artifact twist}

Resident Evil Verse

The Elliots' are mostly known for their high tech engineering and newly developing robotic department. Tessa is well aware of this fact and while her parents hire people to do the hard work, the young lady enjoyed dabbling in the programs and designs. Especially creating personality fueled A.I. she created from scratch. Of course being shunned by her own parents the older she got, Tessa was not told much of anything about what took up most of their time. So should she be completely shocked the fact a portion of the funding was poured into Umbrella the entire timeline of when she was a child? Now the world is a constant roller-coaster full of shit after Raccoon City just vanished. The longer the world delves into power struggles ruled by greedy humans, the more Tessa grows fearful of what the future contains.

The Evil Within

[WIP]

Team Fortress 2

[WIP]

Cry of Fear Verse

[WIP]

Trigun Verse

[WP]

Dead Space Verse

[wip]

(More to be added later)

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musecaravan-info · 1 year ago

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Carradoc Ilar Vaughn

"The earth laughs in flowers." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Basic Information

FACE/BODY CLAIM: Gwilym Lee

AGE: OLD - but looks like late 20s/early 30s

EYES: Deep Blue

HAIR: Soft Brown; usually short and well-kept; Usually have a closely-shaved beard/mustache, as well

HEIGHT: 6'2

PRIMARY OUTFIT: Carr's modern look tends to border on 'hipster.' He wears plaid and sweaters and skinny jeans - usually in neutral/homey colors. He also usually has glasses - his vision's never quite recovered from the attack all those centuries ago.

Personality

You know that meme about all the different cinnamon rolls? He is definitely 'looks like a cinnamon roll, but could actually kill you.' Not that he would unless you intentionally threatened his clutch. Beyond that, he's open and friendly to just about everyone - even if that friendliness isn't returned. He tries very hard to always believe the best of people, but only to a degree. After all, he has a promise to keep and a clutch to protect. Those things ALWAYS come first for Carr.

Powers & Weaknesses

To avoid repetition, Go Here

Romance

Being the kind of person he is, caring for others comes easily to Carradoc. Romance on its own is easy for him, and he's likely to welcome anyone who displays that kind of interest (if he feels the same.) However, actual intimacy is on an entirely different level. To allow that, it would likely have to be someone he cares about just as much as he cares about his clutch. And that could only happen with trust and time.

Where to Find Him

The most obvious place is his flower shop. However, it's possible he could be found out the the forest gathering various supplies he can't grow himself, etc. Or maybe in a nearby park? Coffee shops are also possible. Dragons like coffee... or this dragon does. ;) Or perhaps any occasion where someone might've ordered flower arrangements - a party/wedding/funeral/etc.

Verses

Just because a verse isn't listed here doesn't mean I'm not interested in writing it. I adore all kinds of AUs, and welcome the chance to get creative with my muses. If you've seen a verse that another of my muses has, and you'd like to see this muse in something similar, let me know. You can also check out my 'Plot Ideas' tag, too. ^_^

Main Verse:

In Carradoc’s clan, every dragon had their specific duties. His duty was special -revered- and he didn’t have to earn it or even fight for it. His job was the result of his unique genetic condition - he was born with fully developed and fully functional male and female sex organs. As far as the clan was concerned, it made him (and several other dragons with similar genetics) perfect candidates for guarding over the eggs while they hatched, and raising the younglings after being born.

Carradoc always took his job with the utmost seriousness. He loved looking after the eggs, and helping the younglings to learn about their way of life. But then his clan - the last in Wales - was attacked by humans…humans with magic. When their Queen finally realized they were going to lose, she ordered Carradoc and the other clutch caretakers to rescue as many eggs as they could and flee. He was the only one that survived…and only just barely. He sports a long, jagged scar on his back which starts on his left shoulder and stretches diagonally all the way down to just below his right hip. One of his wings was permanently damaged, and flying causes him immense pain.

Now, in the modern age, Carradoc watches and waits. When will the eggs hatch? He doesn’t know. In the chaos of escape, he paid no attention to such things; he only grabbed what he could carry and fled. He fears that even once the younglings are born, he won’t be able to raise them properly in this technological world. But he knows he has to try. Until then, the dragon runs a quaint floral and herbs shop to pass the time. He tries to keep a low profile - and live a ‘normal’ human life. Typically he is soft spoken and well-mannered, but make no mistake if you so much as hint ay a threat to his eggs, you’ll see a side of him that will leave you quivering in fear. He will do whatever it takes to protect the clutch.

Historical Verses

Carradoc has been around for quite awhile. If you'd like to RP with him in something other than a modern timeline just ask. I'll be happy to plan something out with you.

Fantasy Verses

While Carradoc isn't a fandom OC, I'm happy to put him in a specific fandom if that's where your muse comes from. Just talk to me about it, and we can try to figure out how to make it work.

Current/Ongoing Threads

If your thread with Carradoc isn't listed here it's probably because it's been long enough since your last reply that I thought you'd dropped it. Message me to let me know you're still interested, and I'll happily add you to the list (with no pressure for a reply.) ♡

Liv:

Hocus Pocus Magic Potions (Dresden!Verse)

Sophia:

Not As It Appears (Historical!AU)

Stuff That's Good to Know Before Starting a Thread

Carradoc has a massive scar on his back that spans from one shoulder diagonally down to just below his hip on the opposite side. It's a magical wound and the scar always looks (and feels) like it's freshly healed. In his human form he usually hides it and accepts the pain and twinges. In his dragon form, he's lost the ability to fly. He still has his wings, but the act of trying to lift himself up off the ground is excruciating. It's possible the pain he's in will be shown, or thought about, or mentioned in passing in almost any RP. How much you have your muse know/react to that magical injury is entirely up to you. :)

Normally, Carradoc is taking care of 5 unhatched dragon eggs. Our RP doesn't have to revolve around the eggs hatching... but it can if that's a plot that interests you.

If we're writing in a verse where Carradoc is human, he will ALWAYS be a single father of six. Yes. SIX. (One of the eggs has twins inside, which is SUPER rare for dragons.)

I'm not really keen on any plots where any of the eggs get destroyed. That would literally RUIN Carr, and I'm not willing to do that amount of damage to his psyche.

Links

Please keep in mind, this blog is an ongoing work in progress. Not all of these links may lead somewhere, but they're here because they link to potential tags for this muse.

All Things Carradoc

Headcanons

Drabbles

All Threads

Ask Replies

Meme Replies

Aesthetics

Face

Special Links

Original Blog

Carradoc's Home

Carradoc's Kids

Return To Full Muse List

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astaroth1357 · 4 years ago

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Demon Brothers as Roommates

Intro:

So, the MC has left the Devildom and, of course, everybody is quite sad… But this time around, they have a little trick up their sleeve. With just a bit of magic (and training thanks to Solomon) the MC can now summon one of their favorite demon boys up to the human world with them! There's just, uh, one problem though… After being summoned to their side, their beloved demon now refuses to leave it.

Alright MC, enjoy your new demonic roommate!!

Lucifer

Apparently Lucifer is on sabbatical… And yes, he does appreciate that irony in that.

Lucifer actually has a surprising amount of human world money stashed away in alias accounts (because this man renting a cheap motel on business trips? Let's be real) so he uses that wealth to get them a place befitting his standards… which are high.

Spacious apartments in nice areas that would make even the upper middle-class shit their pants? Congrats, MC, that's where you're staying now!

Even with all that money, though, Lucifer CANNOT sit idle for a second. The guy is used to working all his life and just sitting around would drive him insane!

Expect him to still be running some Devildom affairs long-distance style while doing something else on the side, probably stock market stuff tbh.

Is going to want to pay for and provide everything himself but will respect the MC if they still want to work and split the bills (not to a ridiculous degree, though, like half-and-half because that would mean getting three jobs at least).

A lot of trips and vacations too, especially if the MC likes to travel. It’s a good excuse to relax while also technically doing something so he doesn’t lose his mind doing nothing in particular.

He is going to be that strict roommate who expects you not to be a slob and isn't afraid to say so. Regularly scheduled cleaning/organization days are mandatory because hygiene is important. Take some pride in yourself and wash up, MC. That kind of thing.

Also going to have short-fuse for… antics. If you want to prank him, do so at your own risk because he may prank back (and that’s not nearly as fun as it sounds, trust me.)

Mammon

Yeah so, living with Mammon is like the inverse of Lucifer. Prepare to be poooor.

Man has no human money, are you kidding me? Even if he did, he wouldn’t keep it for very long. Couples budgeting is a MUST if you’re looking to survive.

The apartment is going to be whatever the MC can more or less afford on their own with Mammon shoved in somewhere like a cheap lamp… Don’t expect a lot of room.

However, Mammon is great at the hustle. Man can work multiple jobs and actually be pretty dang good at them. For the most part, anyway. He may occasionally trip up and get himself fired, but he bounces back quick.

If the MC isn’t so moral he can also uh… “find” some extra money lying around too. Just be careful when playing with fire, right?

Even if they’re poor as shit, Mammon is still a blast to be around. The guy knows how to have fun on and off of a budget. Lots of “window shopping” (getting kicked out of stores for goofing off), nightclubs, amusement parks, and cheap fun. They’ll never be without a story to tell or a smile on their face!

He IS pretty slobbish though. He’s not going to remember to clean up after himself unless told, but he’s also not going to be bothered if they don’t do the same thing. A weekly cleaning day is going to be ideal unless they don’t mind living in a pigsty...

Prank waaaaars!! The kind of guy to get them both water guns and have a war in the middle of the apartment complex. Good luck getting any rest with Mammon around.

Leviathan

Whelp, your room is now his room, quite literally MC. You had to pick the shut-in…

The guy isn’t exactly poor but what human money he does have is all wrapped up in his many interests… Merch interests specifically.

Thankfully, he won’t take up too much space. Put him in a room with a desk, bed (or bathtub), TV, and computer and he’s good to go!

He’s not going to be a complete bum, thankfully. There’s no way that they can get him to leave the apartment, but he can run small online stores (usually anime themed) or become a streamer. Probably enough to help pay the bills, but not much more.

If they don’t mind having a literally permanent housemate, then being with Levi has its own kind fun. Lots of anime marathons, movie nights, and game nights. Really, it’s just like how he was in the House, but now transported to the human world.

Is probably going to want a pet goldfish, snake ,or lizard so prepare to house Henry 3.0.

When he does leave the apartment, it’s to take the MC to conventions, concerts, or anime stores. He always manages to get just enough money for these trips, but never says where the money comes from… Best not to ask. Could be black market for they know...

… He’s a shut-in. He’s a shut-in roommate. Hygiene isn’t exactly his main concern. If they ask him to, he’ll make sure to clean up after himself, but he may need a reminder.

Can have a fun side, but just don’t mess with his stuff too much. He doesn’t need a Mammon 2.0 around too...

Satan

He's either hatching a plan for world domination or adopting 10 cats… One or the other.

About as poor as Mammon at first, but threat not. He won’t be for very long. Satan is intelligent beyond his years (or equivalent his years maybe?) so he’ll probably net himself several degrees within a couple semesters like a certified prodigy.

At that point, there really isn’t much to worry about (aside from student loans, join our pain Satan) but he can sell himself just fine and probably get some high paying job like a lawyer or doctor or whatever… I’m not jealous…

They’ll start out in a pretty modest place, but there will be upgrades fairly quickly when he starts racking it in so Satan’s a fairly decent choice as a roommate.

He does still have that nasty habit of breaking things when he’s pissed off, but that can be subverted by getting a pet! Just hold up whatever cat you own when he’s about to rampage then declare that he’s scaring/upsetting them and he’ll stop in his tracks. Works every time!

Probably going to be the most domestic out of the brothers. He enjoys cooking (and ain’t half bad at it either), shopping is a practical necessity, he’ll take care your pets like they were his own flesh and blood, etc.

There will even to be points where he’s in bed reading in the middle of the night with tea and reading glasses like some kind of grandma so take that image for what you will.

Satan is the prankster of the household, but he does his pranks more as a way to give grief to his enemies rather than for funsies. Be warned, if you poke this bear he will retaliate for sweet, sweet revenge and he has centuries worth of pranks behind him. Good luck.

Asmodeus

It's a new party every night, sweetie, get used to it!

Asmo is the only other brother who has some amount of money to offer from his own trips to the human world, but it's just a modest amount.

Is totally willing to work to help pay for a nice place. He wants a building nice enough to host parties!

Would go back to modeling and maybe dip his toe into acting from time to time… He gets a lot of gigs (this IS the Avatar of Lust after all) so they won't be strapped for cash. Which is good, because Asmo is a very "business by day, but party every night" kind of person.

Do know that his shopping is NOT going to slow down either. Keep an eye on the budget.

He’s also going to make friends wherever he goes so he’s going to want for them all to hang out at least somewhat regularly.

That being said, he can tone it down some if the MC so desires, just know that they can’t keep him cooped up in the apartment for too long or he’ll start getting antsy. You can’t keep this stallion locked up, MC, he needs to run free!!

Being with Asmo is going to be like having a free pass to whatever gathering the MC wants to go to, at least. He could even get them into red carpet events with just his sheer charisma, charm, and er-… “charms.” Who doesn’t want to meet their favorite actress or singer, eh?

But oh, sweetie, please don’t prank him! Life is too short to waste on silly games (he also just genuinely just doesn’t enjoy being messed with so best not do it).

Beelzebub

Brave choice, MC, but quick question. How in the world are you going to pay your food bills???

Beel is a real sweetheart through and through but his stomach is NOT. That thing will eat them out of house and home! (Maybe even literally!!) Both of them are going to have to work and probably some pretty looong hours (cause he’s got no money either).

Honestly, Beel would be best as a personal trainer in the human world. He’s a pretty decent combination of tough but genuinely kind and motivating. (The fact that he’s pretty easy on the eyes would help out a lot too).

But the MC won’t have to worry about Beel sneaking off with someone just looking for some “quality time.” He’d take his job seriously, though he’s not particularly versed in what the human body can’t handle so only the really dedicated (or masochistic) would stick with him anyway.

“Good work last week, April! You did so well that we’re going to go from 500 pushups to a thousand! … I can see you’re worried, but I believe in you.”

But hey, he can deadlift well over 2,000 pounds without breaking a sweat so who has the balls to argue with him, anyway?

Trying out every restaurant in town would be a must. He’d even plan out vacations for them with the sole purpose of travelling the globe and tasting the different flavors. Food trips!!

He's neat enough since he used to tidy up a lot for Belphie so no need to worry about him picking up after himself (except for the occasional pile of wrappers. Toss those out unless you want ants)

I mean, you can prank Beel if you want. He'll be pretty good-natured about it as long as it stays harmless. Just don't ruin any of his food, got it?

Belphegor

So… Belphie makes for some excellent décor! Really he is great at laying around and looking fantastic just… he’s not that great at much else...

Realistically, choosing Belphie as a roommate is kind like having a high maintenance pet. He’s good for love and cuddles, but he’s not going to be helping with the bills or anything unless they whine incessantly about it.

If the MC can make enough for the both of them, then it should be fine. They won’t get upset and he won’t be crabby but if not… Oh boy.

Regular job Belphie is a needy Belphie. He’ll come back from whatever job he’s working, likely a night shift, and demand attention or cuddles right then and there. He needs to recharge those batteries, after all...

If he isn’t working then he's at his happiest. He can even pull off being a “househusband” of sorts. He’s not going to go above and beyond the call of duty, but he can keep the place clean, get a basic meal on the table (provided someone teaches him some human recipes), and get groceries if he needs to… You know, basic domestic shit.

They’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that, at some level, Belphie just doesn’t believe in “common curtesy” or “human decency.” If some neighbors are being too noisy for his liking, he will troll them to oblivion and beyond. He may even get sued for it if he takes it too far, so the MC will have to keep an eye on him…

He’s the House’s #2 prankster, but unlike Satan he doesn’t need any malice to be a little shit. The MC will be pranked and it will be at the most unexpected times. Be warned...

Check out my Masterlist for more!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios

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awkwardcourage · 4 months ago

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Hughie had the feeling that he gave the wrong answer somehow. Butcher seemed frustrated by it, as though he knew that Hughie was lying through his teeth. His gaze flitted to Butcher's hand, carving out fists in the air. He'd been doing that a lot since becoming ill. Little twitches, nonsensical movements that he'd never done before.

Hughie honestly couldn’t picture things getting tougher than this. He knew that it would, it was inevitable; but with everything that had happened to him, more or less within the span of a couple of weeks, he just couldn’t imagine anything worse than what he’d been through. Then he realised. It would be worse because Butcher wouldn’t be there.

The right thing to do would be to lie. Butcher deserved to go out believing that Hughie would be okay. He was starting to wish that he had just told the truth in the first place, but even that would have been selfish. Butcher should be the one leaning on him. Ironic how bone headedly stubborn they both could be.

He wondered what it was that Butcher saw in him that made that look of pride and mania stretch across his face. Butcher was the one they needed, that they had ever needed. The world was already full of Hughie Campbells, pathetic, frightened losers, trying to be greater than who they were meant to be. There weren't many who could claim to be a Billy Butcher.

"The world doesn't need me." It came out alongside a shaky laugh. "It needs you more than it needs me." I need you, is what he didn't say. I need you and I don't know how the hell I'm going to deal with everything when you're gone. "But I promise." Hughie came in close and wrapped his arms around Butcher, letting the brave face he had been trying so hard to put on drop. "I promise. I'll be okay. I'm never gonna stop, not until it's finished. Okay?"

Fuckin' weasel.

But fine. Fine, not like Butcher ever opened his mouth about all the bad and sad shit that happened to him. If Butcher scowled, it had nothing to do with Hughie's secrets, but rather the sour turn of his stomach and Butcher's vision sliding in and out of focus.

He didn't have time for this. He didn't have time to wait it out and see if Hughie would be alright without him. Hughie didn't have rage or resentment. He was too fuckin' sweet for all that, and Butcher found it admirable but it would do fuck all in helpimg Hughie survive this hell hole.

"Right then," He began, fingers opening and closing as he tried to find the right way to go about this. Unfortunately he only knew how to lie or be blunt and lying wasn't gonna fix this sinkin' ship. "Look, love, I ain' got a lot'a time left. And all these other cunts ya got around you are knee deep in their own pissin' problems, so you ain't gonna 'ave much of an anchor if- no, when it all gets real tough, yeah?"

The room swayed and Butcher closed his eyes to try stop it but everything only spun faster. Instead he opened them again, and focused on Hughie. Grounding himself there. "I'lt's all gonna get worse b'fore it gets bet'er, and I need ta know yer gonna come out the other end."

And then it dawned on him, a light coming back to hus bloodshot eyes. Hughie was a good boy. A sweet boy. Loyal to a fuckin' fault and more honorable than anyone Butcher ever met. He smirkes, pointing at Hughie with almost manic glee.

"So you're gonna promise me your gonna see t'is through to the end. Even if tha's years- decades down the road, you ain' never gonna stop. Because ya can't. Because the world needs a fuckin' Hughie Campbell in it."

#themarvelliteraryuniverse #i don't want to go to a second location with you | threads #it’s not always easy to be living in this world of pain | main verse: fourth season #we gotta go in there don’t we? | queue

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snackhobi · 4 years ago

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how we interface ;

part of the human touch verse (masterlist here)

pairing: android!taehyung x f!reader / word count: 1.7k / genre: fluff, established relationship, light smut (NSFW) / warnings: none?; this is set after the main story

a/n: so here I am, revisiting the human touch verse, finally. thank you to my beta readers @hobi-gif and @morndas, I love and appreciate you both so much 💖 to the anon who suggested a ‘naughty scene’ with android tae, there’s a lil something in here for you!

The first time it happens, you think Taehyung is malfunctioning.

You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve held hands by now. You never thought you could be so familiar with someone else’s hands: how their fingers entwine with yours, the warmth of their palm against your own; how their thumb feels rubbing across the back of your hand, tender and soothing and so full of love. But here you are, your hand in Taehyung’s, his in yours, like it’s meant to be there. What once was new and exciting is now a motion of comfort—as practiced as blinking or breathing.

But this? This is new, this sudden sensation of smoothness where Taehyung’s soft skin had been moments before. You glance down. You haven’t been looking at your joined hands, focused instead on the film that flickers across your TV, and there’s a beat as you take in what you’re seeing: the bare white of Taehyung’s android body, normally hidden away underneath the synthetic skin that covers him. You know what androids look like under their skin, the smooth white plastic bodies, but you’ve only ever seen a glimpse of Taehyung’s—a slip of white on his temple when he’d removed his LED, that under skeleton you haven’t seen since.

“Taehyung?” You’re uncertain what to think, equal parts confused and concerned. He doesn’t seem to be in pain; barely seems to register it at all, even, only turning his attention away from the screen at the sound of your voice. Like he hasn’t noticed anything amiss. “Are you okay?”

His eyes fall to your joined hands. “Oh,” he says. “Yes, I’m fine. Sorry.”

And just like that you watch as the skin shifts back into place, creeps from under his sleeve to cover his ivory hand; in mere moments everything is back in place and Taehyung seems unperturbed. As if nothing important has happened. He lifts your hand to his mouth, presses a fleeting kiss across your knuckles, an easy touch of affection that still has you melting, snuggling as close as possible to watch the rest of tonight’s movie.

Maybe it’s an android thing, you think. If it’s important and Taehyung wants to tell you about it, then he will. Until then there’s nothing more to do than to lean into his side and watch as Sophie and the Witch of the Waste toil up the stairs to the palace. You shift, resettle, drape yourself across your love; you feel the way a laugh rolls in his chest, contained, a smile bleeding out across his lips.

“Comfortable?” His voice is so quiet, so low. So achingly soft.

You can’t help but smile back. “With you? Always.”

The second time it happens, you barely notice it at all.

Too caught up in everything else to really notice the way Taehyung’s arm has gone white, skin receding from his fingers and rolled back, from hand to wrist to elbow and up to his shoulder; too busy gasping for air, eyes blown wide and skin sweat-slick, Taehyung above you and around you and inside you, all heat and pleasure. Both hands pinned to the pillow beneath your head, his fingers entwined with yours as he rolls his hips, watches the way you arch your back and tilt your body towards him, needing more, more, more.

It never gets any less amazing, how easy it is to lose yourself in each other’s bodies. How love can be expressed through lust. How even as you’re losing yourself, you’re kept grounded by Taehyung’s presence—he knows you better than you know yourself, knows your body, knows how to touch you just so, how to throw you deep into the ocean of sensation and pleasure, kept tethered only by his skin against yours. It never fails to leave you breathless, speechless, the only words from your lips a lilting refrain of his name, stuttered and sobbed, a melody of choked whimpers and keens.

Once your body is spent, you’ve all but forgotten that moment where Taehyung’s arm had turned blindingly white—too distracted by the way your peak had been building, entire body clenching hard and tight before you’d tumbled over the edge just seconds after, cumming hard and wet around Taehyung’s unrelenting thrusts. You don’t think about it, how Taehyung’s android arm had been bare to your gaze, unimportant when the two of you had been intent on something else. When he reaches for you, pulls you close, both hands and arms look just as normal: all elegant lines and honeyed skin, reverent as he touches you, drags the pads of his fingers over the tremble of your thighs. There’s no naked metal and plastic. No stark whiteness set against your skin. Just Taehyung’s familiar hand smoothing up and over the curve of your hips.

“Angel.”

You lean towards the pet name, ease into the deep softness of Taehyung’s voice, as warm as the palm that traces across your waist. Too focused on his still-simmering gaze to think about anything else right now. There’ll be time for that later.

The third time it happens, you decide to ask what’s going on.

It’s been a long day, one that leaves an ache throbbing just behind your eyes, your entire body weighed down with it all. But Taehyung is kind and gentle, just like he always is, and it’s easy to unwind in the way he folds himself around you.

(You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to this. To the knowledge and comfort of someone’s love and support, no matter how exhausted you are, how burdened and tired. It’s not something you thought you’d ever find, and even though you have it now—have had it for long enough that you know it’s here to stay, that Taehyung is here to stay—sometimes it feels like a dream. A wild-winged flight of fancy that’s somehow touched ground in your life, become real, and is so much better than you ever could have thought.)

It’s just the two of you in the kitchen, in your own world of soft quiet as Taehyung makes you tea; something warm and soothing. You watch as he moves, meticulous and smooth, and you can’t help but smile and reach out, fingers brushing across his wrist. Wanting to feel, always.

He turns at the touch. Angles his body and his smile towards you, turns his hand palm-up so you can lock your fingers in place, every inch of you gone mellow, ochre yellow sunlight. Taehyung’s smile is subtle in his lips but obvious in his eyes—set deep in the dark of his gaze.

It’s easy, this time, to feel the way his skin subsides from his fingers. His hand is still warm (it always is) but it’s smooth and unyielding, now.

“Tae? How come your hand keeps doing this?”

A soft pause. Taehyung unravels the weave of your fingers so that you’re not holding hands any more but instead are mirroring each other, his palm and fingers against yours, held in the air in front of you. A mirror’s reflection in position.

“It’s how androids interface,” he says. “We can share information and memories like this.”

“Oh,” you murmur.

Now that you get a chance to look, really look, you notice the level of detail in Taehyung’s android body. The little dips of his joints, the darker lines that cross the unblemished white; the flush of blue across his knuckles, the soft glow of the thirium that powers him; his entire arm is alabaster apart from that blue glow at his knuckles and elbow, so pretty. Still beautiful, of course. Every part of him.

“I can’t help it.” Taehyung’s still smiling at you, at the way you’re staring at your hand against his, how they’re both similar and yet so different all at once. “It’s an intimate thing, I think. Wanting to share with you and let you see everything. It happens without me even realising.”

You hesitate as a small breath catches in your throat. Then:

“Does it bother you? That you… can’t interface with me like this?”

Your voice comes out small. You know that Taehyung’s been concerned about his android nature, that the fact he’s a robot and not human might one day become something that bothers you. That you might find him lacking. You’ve felt the same, though, even if you might not have put a voice to it—that being human might become a barrier, that it means you might not be able to connect with him the way he wants.

(That your two experiences in life and living are fundamentally too different and that it might all fall apart because of it.)

Taehyung’s smile doesn’t falter. “Does it bother you that I’m an android?”

“Of course not.” The answer is immediate and honest, even in the midst of your uncertainties. You’d love Taehyung whether he was an android or not—because he’s him.

“There’s your answer.” He’s looking at you with such an aching fondness, and his response is easy; relaxed. “Being an android or being a human doesn’t affect how I feel about you. I love you.”

He says this often. Reminds you daily of that unrelenting love for you. And no matter how many times you hear it, your heart swells—full to bursting with so many more emotions than you think you could ever put a name to, but with love the resounding echo throughout it all.

He pulls his hand away from yours so that he can cup your cheek, and though the sensation of his android body against your bare skin is unfamiliar, the adoration behind the touch isn’t. Just because you interface differently doesn’t make it any less fulfilling, you think. Doesn’t make it any less real or amazing (because you are amazed, every day, that someone like Taehyung could ever love someone like you).

“I love you too.”

The words don’t feel like enough to express every glittering facet of love you hold in your chest, but you hope that Taehyung feels it anyway. You hope that everything you do expresses that love, that it shines through, always. He deserves it. He deserves everything.

And when he smiles even wider at your words, uses the smooth hand against your cheek to tilt your head into a kiss—android or human or otherwise, you’ve never been happier.

taglist: @beyoncesdragon @vensulove

#titles are hard. 'how we interface' sounds so clunky but iunno i feel like the extra parts/drabbles need names right? hhh anyway #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #bts x reader #taehyung fanfic #bts fanfic #taehyung au #taehyung scenario #joy.masterlist #way too lazy to tag this properly! oops!

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desencante · 4 years ago

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oi, march reads! I read a lot this month.

Please, don’t forget to leave a comment or kudos for the authors of these fics!

(The texts aren't the summary, just my ramble thoughts.)

Loving Cannibalism by glittering_git/@glittering-git (Mature, 2 works, 952 words) | Post-War, Angst, Established Relationship

Two marvellous and poetic histories about (loving) cannibalism. This is such a dark and heavy theme but the author does a great job writing and makes me enjoy reading them. (And I'm definitely here for more.)

(Please, read the Author's Tags.)

don’t say you love me, that’s extortion by LowerEastSide/@lower-east-side (Explicit, 1k) | Post-War, Angst, Fluff, Established Relationship

It is a domestic and loving and little sad history – about not saying 'I love you' but acting in that way.

The Pink Paradox by vina_writes/@dracothecupcake (Teen and Up, 1k) | Post-War, Humor, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco

Harry Potter Is Obsessed With Draco Malfoy TM. And Draco has pink hair. Have a fun time!

Harry's Promise by JosephineStone (Teen and Up, 2k) | Post-War, Angst, Reunion, Established Relationship

This one it's kind of part two of Circumpolar. The history continues the consequences of Draco's change, after the war – left me with a warm heart.

Burnt Casserole by Samunderthelights/@samunderthelights (General Audiences, 2k) | Post-War, Fluff, Established Relationship

Nervous Draco for Meeting Ron and Hermione. Getting back together and meeting your boyfriend's friends (who may hate you) showing them your (not) great cooking abilities.

Magical Homes, and Where to Find Them (in the arms of your lover) by Erebeus/@erebeus-roxy (General Audiences, 2k) | Post-War, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship

Who doesn't want some fluff established relationship sometimes? Harry has a painful case at work and then comes home to a calm and domestic night with his husband.

Together Like This by shealwaysreads/@shealwaysreads (Explicit, 3k) | Post-War, Getting Back Together

Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World TM. I find it so interesting reading stories where Draco denies Harry's love because of the war, and Harry is there to change his mind. Here we have that and it's written the super talented shealwaysreads.

For Old Times' Sake by thestarryknight/@the-starryknight (Teen and Up, 3k) | Post-War, Drugs, Potioneer Draco, Artist Harry

This one gives me such a cosy and domestic vibe. "'It's Complicated' is their relationship status" resume perfect what this fic is. (There're some cool references too, so pay attention.)

Like Gold by The_Sinking_Ship/@the-sinking-ship (Explicit, 4k) | Post-War, PWP

(It's always good to see.) Harry Has a Motorbike Just Like Sirius! Harry rides a motorbike and Draco rides him.

Harry and Draco's Little Talk by Ladderofyears (Teen and Up, 5k) | Post-War, Angst, Established Relationship, mpreg

Who doesn't hear 'I need to talk to you' by someone you like and run with? Harry thinks Draco will break up with him and freak (a little) out but maybe the subject of Draco's conversation is quite the opposite.

Sugar Sweet by The_Sinking_Ship/@the-sinking-ship (Teen and Up, 5k) | Post-War, Humor, Fluff, Auror Harry, Healer Draco

It is a very sweet story with a surprise party for Draco and Harry getting late but not so late.

Show them the night that they dreamed about before by fluxweed/@fluxweeed (Explicit, 6k) | Post-War, PWP, Threesome, Boss/Employee Relationship, Dubious Consent

(Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Percy Weasley)

All I have to say is: 😳😯🤫😈🔥🥵🔥🥵😈😏!

This Is How by bixgirl1/@bixgirl1 (Explicit, 6k) | Post-War, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, a/b/o

Omega Draco has an incident in the ministry Alpha Harry is there to help. After they fall in love! (One more reason to read: it's written by bixgirl1!)

It Never Occurred to Me That I Would Fall in Love With a Frenchman by lamerezouille/@elsalapizza (Teen and Up, 6k) | Post-War, Angst, Humor, Established Relationship

OMG, I never read something like this! The plot was so surprising – you will ever think about the Malfoys meeting the Dursleys? BOOM! Here it's a very awkward dinner that looks funny but has some depth stuff going on.

Litany by thistle_verse/@thistle-verse (Mature, 7k) | Post-War, Angst, Pandemic, Isolation, Touch-Starved, Ghost Draco

Ghost's story isn't my cup of tea, but I give this one a chance and don't regret it. The magic world is passing through a pandemic (just like us!), Harry is doing quarantine at home alone until ghost Draco, directly from Azkaban, shows up. Then, we have fluffy and sad conversations between the two and a turn of events in the end. (And lots of lists.)

As the Crow Flies by thestarryknight/@the-starryknight (Mature, 7k) | Post-War, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Animagus Draco, Werewolf Harry

Draco helps Harry on a full moon night. Domestic vibes with some angst. 10/10!

Circumpolar by LowerEastSide/@lower-east-side (Teen and Up, 8k) | Hogwarts Era, Angst, Sectumsempra Scars

I see an amazing fanart and spend some days obsessed with Draco having worse scars from Sectumsempra. (There's, in this list, another two fanfics with this concept.) In this one, because of the pretty bad scars Draco's plan about the war change – is interesting to imagine how one incident could put another thing in perspective for him. And Draco and Harry have a touching conversation on the Astronomy Tower! (I'm a sucker for long expressive conversations about feelings.)

if somebody’s there, then tell me who. by kryptidfox/@kryptidfoxwrites (Explicit, 11k) | Post-War, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Housemates

Much more like Idiots to Lovers! Draco has a disastrous way to make Harry notice him – bring every man possible to a one-night stand then call their name very loud – until things go wrong when he brings a guy named Harry. I constantly have a good time reading these two making dumb thing in their path to be together.

Commander by Cassiopeias_shadow/@cassiopeiasshadow (Explicit, 14k) | Post-War, Horror, Suspense, Drugs, Animagi, Auror Harry, Light dom/sub

Almost a case fic with dark things in the plot. Draco is addicted to potions and in a pretty bad place when he has a chance to help the auros in a big case. It turns out that Draco got so much involved with the case he needed Harry, to make him put his feet on the ground – the fine line between doing everything to make up for your past or lost yourself doing things for the great good. Featuring: Harry as a snake and parselmouth kink.

(Please, read the Author's tags.)

Fire and Wonder by Lomonaaeren (Mature, 15k) | Post-War, Dark-ish, Veela

Lomonaaeren written dark Harry, I'm here for! After the war, Harry get wing and has some controversial ideas about The Great Good. So, we see him put these ideas into practice with his mate Draco.

Hold what's dear in your hands (and never let go) by Fae_vorite/@faevorite-main-blog, PollyWeasley/@polly-weasley (Explicit, 16k) | Post-War, Arrange Marriage, a/b/o, mpreg

I was always here for some a/b/o and this story is a chef kiss! Harry can't find a partner; So he goes to an upgrade tinder and matches with Draco, then they live happily ever after. Featuring intersex Draco and a lot of sex kinks.

Keep Me Close (I Need Your Faith) by aviforsrose (Explicit, 23k) | Post-War, Angst, Friends with Benefits, Light dom/sub

Idiots in love! The old same GOOD story: I love him but he loves me? Yes, of course! Man, you two have been pinning each other for years now. Let's do some love confessions.

The Critiquer by dysonrules (Explicit, 24k) | Post-War, Humor, Romance, Secret Identity

Drunk Harry doing dumb stuff with Seamus and Dean, take him a very funny drive to Draco's hearty. Draco and his assistant interactions was another very humorous part. Can't forget to congratulate who made all of the edits, principally the text divisors.

The Nobility of Ascent by Lomonaaeren (Explicit, 27k) | Post-War, Angst, Politics

I love reading Lomonaaeren stories with dark-ish Harry. This is another great example of just not the good or evil side. Harry can't Make a Better World because of pureblood politics so he goes to Draco for help.

Can I tell you something? by GallaPlacidia (Not Rated, 33k) | Post-War, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sectumsempra Scars, Drugs, Auror Harry, Burlesquedance Draco

What I can say about this one? It's by GallaPlacidia, go read! The story takes place during a few years, after the war, Harry collides in parties with a drugged Draco, things happen – they lived a very real journey of connecting with someone, learning to love and to be loved and understanding the mistakes of the past... 10/10!

Says The Magpie To The Morning (Sorrow, Take Your Own Advice) by Femme/@femmequixotic (Explicit, 33k) | Post-War, Angst, Getting Back Together

Draco Horrible Sad TM after a breakup with Harry. Featuring so much PDA by Pansy/Ron, angst, miscommunication, angst, sharing a house with your ex and angst. If you are up to a sad time before a happy ending this nice story is here.

Eight Days (to Save the World) by gnarf/@gnarf (Mature, 47k) | Post-War, Friend to Lovers, Housemates, Case Fic, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco

Shit happens in The Wizard World again so Harry, Draco and company get together to Save The World Again. What will you do if you receive an order not so right by your superior? A very interesting story begins with the ministry's haunted easy target to blame for the new conspiracy. Enjoy too Protective Harry.

Turning Leaves by Kbrick (Explicit, 112k) | Post-War, Angst, Fluff, Time Travel, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco

Draco Tries to Concert His Friendship With Harry by Time Travel. This gives me The Cursed Child vibe but so much better, Draco goes to several scenarios trying to change one important moment in the past to make Harry like-like now. A great story who think about what will happen if Draco acts differently in the Hogwarts years.

Cannot Save You Now by tigrelilje (Mature, 132k) | Hogwart Era, Angst, Horror, Dark, Vampire Harry

Harry dies and comes back (as a vampire) for revenge! If you want to see Harry hating almost everybody this fanfic this here. Featuring: Slytherin Harry.

#desencanterec #drarry fic rec #drarry #drarry fanfic #if there's a mistake or some link is broken please let me know #hpdm

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angeli-marco-writes · 4 years ago

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Ann’s Old Masterlist

UNUSED AS OF JULY 2021 - Current masterlist here

Rules for my page. PSA.

All works are original and legally my own. Do not repost. More works coming soon: each Saturday currently, schedule will change.

Please read the warnings at the top of every post: Items marked 18+ are mature/smut, and I don’t recommend you read if you are under eighteen, but it’s up to you to mediate your media consumption. The warnings you heed are entirely your responsibility.

Disclaimer: I do not know any of the people I write about, nor do I claim to, and I simply write about fictional figments of them. The fictional worlds I write within (the MCU, Harry Potter etc.) I do not own either, I do not own the characters or the settings, but merely write about a further fictional figment.

I currently only write Fem!reader. Works marked Ღ are the most popular. My inbox is open to requests but they may take a while to get a response.

Ann's TS 200 blurb event! (Mini Masterlist)

Regulus Black

Romeo, Juliet & Quidditch

Summary: One very eventful Quidditch final can do more than Regulus and his Juliet ever imagined; strengthening family ties, Y/N's mind, and Reg's feelings all at once.

Charlie Weasley

Secret. (18+)

Summary: You have a secret regarding the dragon taming Weasley. The only issue is that he sees you as the child you were a few years ago. When you become legal, he seems to seek you out wherever you are. Maybe he has a secret too.

Couple Blurbs

Lily & James Potter - First Kiss.

Summary: When Lily sees a new side of James, she thinks maybe falling for him isn’t so bad after all.

Albus & Scorpius - Before You Go.

Summary: At the 5th year prom, Albus and Scorpius find they can’t hold back their feelings anymore. Just one dance, before you go

Bill & Fleur - Our Spot.

Summary: After the final task, Fleur finds herself in despair, and goes to the only spot she can think of to unwind, not expecting to be approached by a handsome stranger.

Dean & Seamus - At Last.

Summary: Years of tiptoeing around one another and hidden feelings come to a head when Seamus finds a stack of art beneath Dean's bed. At last, something might happen.

Doctor Stephen Strange

ᲦBaby Blues & Tattoos (18+)

Summary: After a tiring mission, the last thing you want to do is have to crash at a hotel, especially with the cockiest man alive. Will things change with the fact there's only one bed on such a sleepless night?

Loki Laufeyson

ᲦDress.

Summary: This dance between you and Loki has been going on for far too long. The night of the palace ball gives you the chance to make your next move, wearing the dress you bought only for him to take it off.

Peter Parker, Spider-Man

Everything Happens for a Reason.

Summary: Stark!Reader x Peter Parker, post endgame. Months after the death of your father, your aunt, and your uncle, you find yourself in a sticky situation, and to make it even worse, your childhood crush doesn’t even recognise you now. Then again, doing most of your growing up while half of the population is dead doesn’t exactly bode well for your love life nor your commitment issues. When things finally start to turn around while learning to live with a disability, will you still be taken away to live with your step mother, or will love pan out at last? After all, everything happens for a reason.

Steve Rogers, Captain America

Promise? (18+)

Summary: Being an apprentice at the Avengers Tower is never easy, especially not when you make a promise to your favourite person there and fail to keep it, through no fault of your own. In a matter of seconds, your world comes crumbling around, but Steve seems to come around in order to pick up the pieces.

Clint Barton, Hawkeye

Rough. (18+)

Summary: After the snap, you never think you’ll see Clint again. Hanging around the tower alone day in and day out becomes tiring, especially when your hormones are in overdrive and you can’t stop thinking about the one avenger you haven’t yet had in bed, until he walks through the door more attractive than ever. (Seriously read the warnings for this, it’s very kinky).

Tom Hiddleston

Ღ BAFTAs.

Summary: Tom thieves your panties after you rile him up the night of the BAFTAs, and he doesn't anticipate the consequences of keeping underwear in his pocket on the red carpet. (Definitely mature with heavy implications, but no explicit smut)

Ღ Stripped Sunday

Summary: Sunday's are always the best, especially when you and Tom walk around the house nude, but it's been a while. Too long a while. So, obliviously, you take matters into your own hands...

NSFW Alphabet. (18+)

Summary: An incredibly explicit NSFW alphabet about Tom Hiddleston, detailing his deepest fantasies and darkest truths; or how I imagine them to be, at least.

Tom Holland

Just Friends?

Summary: You and Tom have been best friends for a long time, and inseparable for just as long. The boys welcome you as one of their own, and you’re basically a part of the family. That’s your main issue, because when you begin to harbour feelings for your best friend, you’re not sure if he feels the same.

Harrison Osterfield

Quarantine. (18+)

Summary: Quarantine with a bunch of sex deprived twenty-odd year old boys isn’t your idea of fun, especially not when the only one you want refuses to pay even the slightest bit of attention. Taking measures into your own hands is only simple until you get caught.

A Happy Day (& A Puppy)

Summary: Today is the day you and Haz get a puppy. It's the next big step in your relationship, and despite your anxieties, you know it's a happy day.

Sebastian Stam

The Ballet Teacher.

Summary: Ballet teacher!reader. Sebastian's daughter attends a very prestigious ballet school, but when she's late out one day, the last thing he expects to happen is to meet her wonderful new teacher, who has him head over heels.

Timothée Chalamet

Ღ Concerto. (18+)

Summary: At a classical music concert, the last person you expect to meet is a young man as charming and suave as Timothée. And the last thing you expected is for him to invite you back to his flat. Turns out music really is food for the soul, and other things...

Fair Game.

Summary: Your boyfriend, Tim, has hurt you for the last time. You didn’t realise you could ever feel this broken, especially because of someone you once loved so much, but maybe, just maybe, it’s for the best.

Tom Felton

Risk.

Summary: After your break up, one that pained you to the bone, you try to escape and you find yourself taking that one risk you always thought you should, travelling. A simple day out, and the one person you don’t want to see is the one person who can help you with your car troubles. Could he help with your heart troubles too, over a reminiscent dinner perhaps?

Baby on the Brain.

Summary: Visiting Tom’s brother and his new baby should be a walk in the park, really, but some unwitting truths come to ahead that you can’t refute. You’ve always wanted a family, but does Tom? (Request for Tom Felton: you guys meet his brother's new baby and then decide to have your own.)

Elizabeth Debicki

Gorgeous.

Summary: Elizabeth is gorgeous, just look at her, the world can see it. A drunken night leads to some tipsy confessions, but does Elizabeth feel the same?

Christmas Morning. (18+)

Summary: Christmas morning in a hidden wintry lodge is everything you could’ve dreamed of. Then again, it’d be perfect even without the setting and the heating, because all you want for Christmas is Elizabeth, and that she gives you. Wholly.

Reunion Revenge. (18+)

Summary: At first, when your brother roped you into attending your high school reunion with your wife, you hated the idea. Now, all eyes are on you, all the focus on your career, and maybe this is the revenge you always needed, of course aided by Liz's quick thinking and hidden surprises.

Hailee Steinfeld

Live.

Summary: The first night of Hailee's tour, you're a guest singer... and her girlfriend. Everything will go to plan, surely, even when she looks that good and sings that well...

Sherlock Holmes

Ღ Kiss Me, Mr Detective. (18+)

Summary: After a fight with John leaves Sherlock feeling particularly down, he calls on the one person who is always there to support him. Only tonight, it’s different. Feelings come to a head, exploration ensues, but is this just a one time thing? That depends on whether she stays the night…

Chuck Bass

Safe.

Summary: A small British village version of Constance & St Jude’s. The aftermath of your drive home from Saturday’s house party becomes haunting and brings out a new side in you. Not that you’re complaining, especially not when you have the well-versed Chuck Bass as your friend and safety.

(Send in any requests to my inbox.)

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awkwardcourage · 4 months ago

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Yes. Maybe he was being a bit overdramatic, but after everything he'd been through, all the shit she'd put him through, Hughie felt he'd earned the right to it. Her blank, politician perfect expression didn't help to soothe Hughie's aggravated nerves.

"You don't get it, do you? You weren't just my friend. You... you were normal. You were outside of all the fucked up shit I'd seen and done. You gave me this normal job and I thought I could live a normal life again, but I was wrong. Because you were fucked up, just like I was." Hughie shook his head. "You know... if you hadn't killed that guy from Red River? I'd probably still be working that job. I'd still be working for you."

Would that have been better? To have the wool pulled more or less permenantly over his eyes, to live in ignorant bliss that the person who liked to steal his food had murdered so many people, had murdered someone he knew right in front of him? Cosmically, no. It was probably better that everything get out in the open. But personally? For Hughie? He just wanted to carry on his cosplay of a normal human being, LARPing an ordinary life.

"Fine. I take it back. You haven't ruined me, you've just made me fucking miserable. Is that better?"

Was he kicking her when she was already down? Yes. Was it making him feel better? Not nearly as much as he'd hoped it would.

Hughie met her gaze, albeit reluctantly. It was hard not to feel something for her, even now. That was an old weakness of Hughie's. The inability to let go, no matter how bad it was for him to keep on clinging on. He should have learnt that lesson by now. "No. I don't think that, but... I don't know whether you actually wanna change or if all of this is just because your back is up against the wall."

Hughie closed his eyes. He could spend time thinking about it, but he already knew what his answer was. His stupid, bleeding heart answer that was probably going to get him killed. He opened his eyes and looked at Victoria, his mouth set in a hard line. "Fine. But do not. Burn me again. You got that?"

@awkwardcourage : there’s no getting out of this. you ruined me. three hundred & ninety prompts ; always accepting.

𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐞, she had considered him a friend and someone she trusted. he was so good in a way that was refreshing because it was geniune. he was just a 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 and he wanted to do something good. working with him hadn't ever felt like work, he made laugh and smile, made her feel like she was also actually doing some good as well. instead of just pretending to be good because she was trying to make herself feel better for all the bad shit she had done. victoria told herself it was all for the greater good, to make a better world for her daughter and try to make a difference, but she also knew that in order to make the world better, she was going to have to get her hands dirty. she just had to know how to keep things covered up and being raised by a man like a stan edgar had done that. the issue was she got in too deep, got caught up in all the 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 between edgar and homelander, she was backed into a corner and she felt like her choices were limited

𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, she hated that he was right, but she really wanted to believe that there was a way. that she could find a way to get herself, or at least get zoe, out of the mess she had made when she had stupidly aligned herself with homelander over edgar. fear had dictated that decision and it was probably dictating this one. expression remained netural as she looked at him, " really? i ruined you? don't you think you're being a little overdramatic since i was nothing but a friend to you, " victoria pointed out, not particuarly wanting to argue with him, but she didn't understand how he could say that she had 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 him. from where she was standing, the only person who had ruined hughie was william butcher, but she wasn't about to point that out. especially not when she wanted his help. sighing softly, shaking her head as she looked down for a moment before looking back up at him, " you really think there isn't a way out? you honestly believe that we're all just stuck on our paths and nothing can change? " she questions, knowing that there was things they had both done that they regretted, she just didn't want to continue to add to that list, " please hughie, i'm desperate and i have no else to turn to, "

#nghtmarish #i don't want to go to a second location with you | threads #it’s not always easy to be living in this world of pain | main verse: fourth season #it was perfect <3

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ghosthan · 4 years ago

Note

hello!! i saw that you made a lot of stuff for 1872 and i was wondering if 1872 tony is similar to regular comics tony?? i know mcu and comics tony are different and i want to get into 616, but if 1872 comics are more easy to read i might try those first! 😅

Hello, hello!

Thank you for asking, and sorry it took me so long to get back to you! I wanted to think about it and put together a thoughtful response because I am desperately trying to convert MCU fans to 1872. Or comics fans who just haven’t gotten into 1872.

This post will contain some 1872 spoilers, but not the Big Spoiler that you probably already know about anyways.

Anyways, let’s get into it. Yeehaw.

What is 1872? It’s Steve/Tony in the wild west.

1872 comics are very easy to read, very short, and you need absolutely no prior knowledge to get into them; I highly recommend these as a start point for MCU fans who are curious about dipping their toes into some of the other Steve/Tony universes. And 1872 is, indeed, a Steve/Tony universe. It’s really gay, (and dramatic.) Uh. So gay, in fact, that one of the comic artists who drew pages even occasionally shares Steve/Tony shipping memes. So.

Marvel 1872 is a four issue series released as a part of the Secret Wars event; you really do not need to know anything about this to enjoy 1872, because it is a self-contained alternate universe in a “pocket dimension”, meaning it’s totally separate from the 616 cannon but technically exists in the expanse of the multiverse!

Here’s the summary:

In the Battleworld zone of 1872, Sheriff Steve Rogers faces corruption and fear in the boom town of Timely. Can Anthony Stark pull Rogers' fat from the fire? Probably not, since the only thing he seems capable of pulling is a cork from a bottle. Things in Timely are bad, and getting worse — and when a stranger arrives in town, Timely will be changed forever.

Now, to compare “regular comics Tony”, or 616 Tony, with 1872 Tony.

The main difference? 616 Tony wears this sexy little under suit (or nothing) under his armor, like this:

And 1872 Tony wears dirty, stinky one-piece pajamas under his armor (not sexy):

He’s so gross, he’s a mess. I love him. You’ll love him, too.

No, okay. Being serious.

616!Tony’s backstory is a lot more complicated just due to how long the character has existed, and the decades of cannon (much of it self-contradictory at points.) Like MCU Tony, 616 Tony used to manufacture weapons, experiences something life-changing, and becomes who he is as a result of this as a catalyst. 616 Tony’s backstory has been rebooted a few times, and I’m definitely not the definitive source on Iron Man lore compared to people who have read all of his comics, but I’ll try to touch on the basics.

Originally, 616 Tony Stark is shaped by his experience in the Vietnam War. This is later rebooted and changed to war in the middle East (we see this in the MCU when Tony is held captive in Afghanistan.) In both circumstances, he is taken captive after being in the air for war technology, and then he creates the suit to save his own life (losing a beloved mentor in the process, the guilt of which stays with him after.)

Tales of Suspense #39

In 1872, Tony’s formative event is the Civil War in some ways, but in other ways, this is only half of it, because this is not the event which causes him to build armor or set him onto his “become a better person” trajectory, like in the other comics. Mainly, the Civil War functions to cause Tony to stop weapons manufacturing and throw his life away down a bottle.

We get a flashback of Tony in the year 1862 with his female companion, picnicking and about to watch a battle, (rich people from the North did this in real life. If you’re interested, read more here!) We don’t get much of his past, but we discover that he is a rifle manufacturer and that he has created something called the ‘Stark Repeating Rifle’, and it seems that he has done so with the hope of encouraging a cease-fire, more than a slaughter.

Well. We don’t always get what we ask for.

Tony vows to actually never touch a weapon ever again, and this personal oath means so much to him that he gets creative at times during 1872 when he’s being chased by baddies:

Witnessing the extreme bloodshed of the Civil War, and feeling responsible for a huge amount of deaths, Tony turns to drinking, (and presumably moves to the west to escape the Pain of his Past, but this is not shown explicitly on panel; I have assumed, though, that Tony’s weapons manufacturing company was in the East, probably Boston or New York, since he comes from family money and because the American West was still “young” at this point in time so it would be unlikely that an established business would be supplying a war from lawless territory with little infrastructure.)

In 616, it’s worth noting that Tony builds the armor to save himself from danger in a war scenario; this is not the case in 1872, things unfold a bit differently. The Civil War certainly sets in motion the chain of events that eventually lead to the creation of Tony’s armor, but he’s not in physical danger or physically traumatized by the war in this verse as he is in other verses, and 616 Tony seems to have a stronger sense of duty than 1872 Tony, but this might be a complication of the depression/apathy related to the alcoholism.

What I mean by this is that both iterations of Tony struggle with alcoholism, but differently. Mainly, while 616 Tony has several alcohol themed arcs, and hits rock bottom with his alcoholism to cope with his trauma, he is sober more than he is drunk in the comics. His drinking almost kills him, and he almost loses everything because of the drink. It’s a source of enormous shame for him.

In fact, during this time in 616, I think Tony at his lowest reminds me a lot of 1872 Tony; 616 Tony is not an apathetic person and he holds himself accountable for an obscene amount of responsibility, but during what is referred to in fandom as The Second Drinking Arc, Tony basically gives up. This is the most “like” 1872 Tony, at least at the start of his arc. Rhodey takes over the mantle of Iron Man, and 616 Tony spirals, not caring whether he lives or dies, not hero-ing certainly.

We see both versions of Tony express similar sentiments, a certain cavalier attitude about their lives (and outright suicidality at other points) with nothing left but the drink.

Iron Man Vol. 1 #182

Compare with:

And you can certainly see a resemblance between this set of panels from IM v.1 #176 and in 1872:

Iron Man Vol. 1 #176 and Marvel 1872 #1

It’s a little different in 1872, where his drinking really is purely a result of his existing despair, and it doesn’t cause enormous problems for him, (minor problems, sure. He spends a lot of time drunkenly singing to Sheriff Rogers, or bothering him from the inside of a jail cell.) But this Tony lives at rock bottom, whereas 616 Tony only stays at rock bottom long enough to get his life back together (as many times as it takes.)

This Tony really doesn’t show any outward shame about his drinking; presumably, the people he knows in Timely have only ever known Tony as a drunk, and none of the people from his old life are here to see him like this.

This is a Tony who has essentially given up on himself and has moved out West to hide from his shame and his past; this is not a Tony who is scared of letting down his friends by drinking, or scared of shirking his “duty”, because this Tony has moved away from all of his friends and has given himself no duties. He’s a bit more apathetic, but I would argue that this is not because he inherently is a less moral version of Tony, but because in this verse, he was drinking for a very long time and circumstances unfolded differently so it took him a longer time to find that sense of purpose and responsibility (beyond just shutting down manufacturing guns,) which is awakened in him by Steve Rogers.

616 Tony’s sobriety is a major part of his character, and a conscious choice that he makes, even during some lowest points:

Civil War: The Confession

He takes some amount of pride in his sobriety, and when he does fall off the wagon at times (or magic makes everyone think he did,) it absolutely tears him up because 616 Tony cares very, very much about his sobriety and does not like who he is when he’s drinking. We do not know if 1872 Tony’s father had been a drunk or not, but we know 616 Tony’s father was, and that the drink lead to him treating Tony abusively.

Iron Man Vol. 1 #285

Avengers Disassembled #1 (This was when ~magic~ made Tony drunk and it wrecked him breaking sobriety without ever having actually drank. Oof.)

616 Tony’s long struggle with alcoholism is a major part of his character and he has had relapses over the years and throughout the reboots, but in general, he does not drink.

1872 Tony starts drinking in 1862 and doesn’t stop until the last pages of the story, so in terms of the cannon we have for him, he is a current drunk, rather than a former drunk. This isn’t to say he doesn’t stop; but since it’s in the last page or so, it sets the reader up to imagine his sober future, rather than exploring his sobriety as 616 does. (Calling all fanfic writers!)

Anyways, both Tony’s are excellent. Both are damaged and traumatized, both are Iron Man in their own ways, both (eventually) find sobriety, both have some cute, quippy dialogue (though 616 Tony tends to be more reserved/polite for sure, in general).

The last thing I’ll point out, is that both Tonys’ narratives are intertwined with and influenced by their respective Steve Rogers. I’m not saying soulmates but I’m saying soulmates.

Anyways. Sorry this post got super long, and I apologize if any of it is confusing or redundant, I am not functioning at my highest capacity currently. Please read 1872. Let it rock your world. Create & consume the fanworks, I would love to see a boom of 1872 content (more than the fics and art I keep making!) And my ask-box is always open!

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avengerscompound · 4 years ago

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The Surrogate - Chapter 16

The Surrogate: A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count: 1714

Rating: E

Warnings: Pregnancy

Synopsis: A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people. When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want. Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 16

Natasha and Clint had both been attending birthing classes with you. It made sense really, they both planned to be there and this was their baby you were growing, even if you had started to think with the word ‘our’ more now. The classes were a little scary. Having to watch birthing videos made you worry there would be some kind of complication. It was one thing for your body to stretch to let out the little girl growing inside you, but if they had to do a cesarean then you were pretty sure she was going to get stuck. There was no way your body would allow itself to go unhealed long enough to cut her out of you.

Still, even though the classes were a little stress-inducing, it was nice to see Clint and Natasha respond to them. They each had their specialties and weaknesses and seeing them working together, it was easy to understand how they worked so well as a team. While they both were fine watching the birthing videos, Clint watched on like it was a horror movie and he was waiting for the Xenomorph to punch its way out of the mother’s chest. Natasha was much calmer about it, like seeing a baby passing out the birthing canal was just another standard day for her. Clint was terrible at helping you with breathing exercises, he just couldn’t take them seriously and if you followed along you’d be prone to hyperventilating. Whereas, Natasha was nothing if not calm and serious about them. On the other hand, Natasha struggled to change a diaper on a doll, whereas Clint could do it blindfolded and with one hand tied behind his back.

The classes were just held by the doctor who would be delivering your baby at the compound and a couple of the nurses too. Obstetrics wasn’t used a lot on-site, and while the doctor and one of the nurses were both experts, the rest of the staff were more versed at emergency patch-ups so they’d come along to brush up their knowledge before the big day. It was good to not have to worry about people treating you strangely because Natasha and Clint were celebrities or because there were three of you. Everyone at the compound was used to what the three of you had now.

As you left the class Clint was babbling about whether or not drugs would work for you for the pain. “I don’t see why the drugs wouldn’t work. I mean, my body would probably physically reject the needle if I got an epidural, but pethidine would be okay and they said they’d be me Nitrous Oxide if I want.”

“Can I use it?” Clint asked.

“No, you can’t, birdbrain,” Natasha teased. “Go get your illegal drugs elsewhere.”

“You can just squeeze Nat’s hand extra tight,” Clint said. “But not mine. I need them for my job.”

Natasha laughed. “And I don’t ever use my hands?”

“Not the way I do,” Clint argued.

You laughed and opened the door as you looked back at them. “You guys are such…”

“Surprise!!”

The shout of the group of people currently in the apartment made you jump and you spun around to see the room filled with people to almost breaking point. The place was decorated with pink streamers and matching pearlescent balloons. There was a banner along the wall that spelled out ‘Baby Shower’ in a gold script. Pink pieces of card cut into circles hung from various points of the ceiling with the words ‘Baby Shower’ repeated again and again in the same font. The dining table was laid out with fruit, finger sandwiches, dips, cheese, and crackers. At the center of it all, sitting on a raised cake stand was a round cake with pale pink frosting. A banner made out of sugar paste flags spelled out ‘BABY GIRL’ around the side and a sugar paste stork stood on the top holding a pink bundle.

The coffee table had been moved to the side and was stacked high with gifts, all wrapped in some combination of pink, white, silver, and gold.

At the front of the group was Kate Bishop and Wanda Maximoff stood holding out glasses of champagne with what looked like red flowers blooming in the bottom of the glass. “Happy baby shower, guys,” Kate said.

“You bad girls,” Natasha scolded, kissing each of them on the cheek and taking a glass. “I thought we were doing this in the function room.”

“Yeah, but a surprise is better,” Kate said. “Don’t you think?”

“I think you’re both lucky none of us were armed,” Clint said, taking a glass for himself. “I was ready to kick some ass.”

“Why do you think we chose immediately after your birthing class to do this?” Kate teased, handing a glass of champagne to Clint. “We know Doctor Harding doesn’t let you take weapons with you.”

“Here this one is for you,” Wanda said, handing you a glass. “Non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice. I know it’s not that exciting, but at least you can participate.”

“It’s lovely, thank you, Wanda,” you said. “What’s the flower at the bottom?”

“It’s a hibiscus,” she said. “Kate and I were looking up ideas, and it seemed nice and fitted with the theme.”

“Is the theme pink?” Natasha asked.

“I wanted to go purple,” Kate said. “But Wanda wouldn’t let me.”

“Damn it, Wanda,” Clint joked.

“It’s not just your baby, Clint,” Wanda huffed.

“Oh, Wanda,” Natasha soothed. “It’s lovely, you both did a great job.”

The three of you were practically dragged into the party and began to mingle. Kate and Wanda had done a great job with the guest list. All the Avengers were there, as were a lot of the other staff you, Clint, and Natasha were close to. There were also family and friends from your old life pre-avengers, though they looked very overwhelmed by the whole experience.

Unfortunately, the sheer number of people at the party meant the apartment was over capacity. There was barely any room to stand let alone sit. As you mingled shoulder to shoulder with your friends, you started to long for a comfortable seat.

There was a tapping of glass and you turned around to see Tony standing on the arm of a chair. “I think we all agree that surprising these three was a lot of fun, but this apartment is too small for this. So how about they open gifts and we all move it to the function room?”

There was a cheer and you, Nat, and Clint were shuffled to the couch where you were made to take a seat and open gifts.

There were a lot of gifts.

It wasn't long before you started losing track of everything among the cute little onesies and tiny shoes, the three-tiered cakes made of diapers and bottles, stuffed toys, rattles, teethers, and little wooden pull-toys. There were a few standouts. Kate had gotten a little onesie with a purple chevron that looked like the exact copy of the t-shirt Clint practically lived in. Carol brought an onesie that had I love my mommies and daddy on it with three big cartoon bunnies around a much smaller one. Tony, Pepper, and Morgan bought a stuffed giraffe that was so big his horns brushed the roof. Pepper made it clear it had nothing to do with her and all Tony and Morgan’s doing.

When all the gifts were unwrapped everyone started grabbing food and party games and carrying them over to the main building. It was amusing seeing the huge flock of people moving through the halls carrying plastic babies and plates of sandwiches.

When the group arrived it spread out like fluid, expanding to fit the function rooms’ much larger space. Food was laid out on the tables. Games were set up. People started helping themselves to drinks from the bar.

You grabbed yourself a drink and a selection of food and took a seat on the couch, putting your feet up.

“Is it wearing you out?” Steve Rogers asked, coming to sit beside you.

“Yeah, I’m always starting to wane by now, she’s really active in there,” you explained. “And with the birthing class as well.”

“Is she kicking now? Can I feel?” Steve asked.

“Sure,” you said, taking his hand and pressing it where she was currently kicking. It took a moment, but she soon shoved against his hand with what felt like all her might.

“Wow, she’s a strong one,” Steve said with a smile.

You chuckled. “Well look at who her parents are,” you agreed. “She’s going to be a fighter.”

“I guess she is,” Steve smiled. “It was very selfless of you to offer to do this for them. Especially given you must have had feelings for them when you did.”

“Well, the sparks, I guess,” you confirmed. “They were my best friends - are my best friends. This was their only chance to have kids, and you of all people should know what it feels like when there’s a good that can be done and it’s in your power to do it.”

Steve smiled affectionately at you. “I guess I do.”

“It’s moot now anyway, we’re all in it together,” you said.

“How do you feel about that?” Steve asked.

You smiled and nodded. “It’s a little scary. Didn’t exactly plan to be a parent. But I’m excited.”

“Well, good,” Steve said. “It’s not really conventional, and I’m not sure I totally get it, but I understand love, and Nat and Clint were never conventional. I think the three of you have got this.”

“Thanks, Steve,” you said. “That’s always good to hear.”

“Attention everyone!” Kate called out, over the P.A. “I think it’s time to play some games, and I don’t know about you, but I’d like to see which of the three future parents can change a diaper the quickest. So get up here you three. Anyone else, if you’d like to challenge them, we have plenty of dolls and diapers, and there’s a prize.”

Steve chuckled. “Sounds like you’re up.”

You laughed and shook your head as you pulled yourself to your feet. Today was going to be a long and very strange day.

// NEXT

#clint barton #natasha romanoff #clint barton x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #clint barton x natasha romanoff x reader #clintasha #clintasha x reader #clint barton x natasha romanoff #hawkeye #black widow #hawkeye fanfic #black widow fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #pregnancy #the surrogate

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tosikoarts · 3 years ago

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SFW Alphabet | Nikaidou Kouhei

I’m so sorry you had to wait for so long, boo, but if you see it I hope you’ll like it! Absolutely agreed on that Nikaidou deserves much love too! Please enjoy ♡ You can check tosikowrites tag for more. Warning: there’s a lot under the cut.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Before the unfortunate incident with Ogata and the bear happened, Nikaidou was such a braggart both about himself and his amazing s/o. They are the best around. He is one lucky guy to have them as a partner.

His main love language was going overboard with praise and physical touch. Not a day went by without Nikaidou paying at least one sweet compliment to the subject of his adoration. In addition, his face lighted up when they praised him for anything, be it his soldier's courage or deep dark eyes. Sometimes their dialogue turned into a verbal duel over who will overcompliment whom and it could last for half of the hour until one of them just started spilling the dumbest figures of speech imaginable.

But after the incident, things changed. Now he is all distant and quiet and then in a blink of an eye manic one running around in a stupefying delirium. When the painful realization of the horrors he and his poor brother endured becomes too clear, too close, Nikaidou’s whole world shrinks to the neck of a morphine bottle.

Physical contact? Well... After another maim, it is better to refrain from touching his bare skin altogether. But when Nikaido calms down (with the help of morphine or on his own), you can try to hug him and pat him on the head. Nikaidou himself refrains from initiating anything physical since the absence of his hand leaves him feeling less of a man and makes full-fledged embrace impossible. It truly saddens him.

In general, without his wonderhat and prostheses, Nikaidou feels extremely vulnerable and any touch of the skin near the supposed location of the ear, a stump of an arm or leg burns him like a red-hot iron. It is enormously aching, but for their sake, he can ignore it for a while. Their care is a medicine that is always in abundance but he is not the most compliant patient.

Once in a blue moon, he decides to give them a gift. The last one was made by Edogai. His fancy gloves of dubious origin have no frills, but are very pleasant to the touch, solid and hard. He has a hat, they have gloves, they match perfectly!

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Quite literally friendship-emotional-rollercoaster. Becoming friends with Nikaidou is easy but maintaining this friendship requires effort. It most likely originated in cold soldiers' barracks from occasional small talk about the harshness of military life. As expected, Kouhei’s friend is Yuhei’s friend too, - find trouble, make it double, - making them a famous trio of rascals that brings nothing but distress to other soldiers.

Prior to the loss of the ear, scalp, arms, legs, brother, a good chunk of sanity Nikaidou would like to hang out almost every day, drinking, visiting geishas, sitting on the war department porch, and enjoying heated debate about the future attack. Picking on others is also one of their favorite activities. A little bit of gossiping? Yes, please. Do I need to mention they usually get to serve detention together as well.

After numerous injuries, he gets an unpleasant pulling sensation in the abdomen when the thought of losing them pops In his head. Nikaidou can afford one more limb being cut off thanks to confidence in Arisaka’s natural ingenuity but losing them? Not like they can be replaced by anyone. Moreover, they are dear to his heart because they are a living reminder of the deceased brother.

Lets them talk into the ear and translates whatever comes from it as a form of… conversation. Nikaidou looks like he is about to throw a tantrum when he once again has to work with Usami or Kikita instead of his dear friend. They are also the one Tsukishima can turn to when Lieutenant Tsurumi isn’t around and Nikaidou refuses to give up a bottle of morphine.

Friendship with him is like talking to a different person every time. He is an irrepressible optimist, a child in a crippled body, that shares frightening thoughts about capturing the Immortal Sugimoto. He is also an anxious tangle of nerves hiding from the daylight like it will burn him alive. He is also a serious veteran that will shot the enemy on the spot if they get too close to him or them.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Pick a wrong time and you’ll get to cuddle a wood log instead of a breathing human being. It is a matter of luck and good timing instead of a cute date idea with a loved one. Nikaidou, if in a playful mood, would tease his s/o pretending he has no idea what they want from him. Maybe, they want to shake his hand? Real one or a wood one? As soon as they make a move, he will crawl away with a wide snide smile on his pale face. Eventually, Nikaidou will surrender to their mercy and tight overwhelming embrace but before that happens, he will have some fun playing naïve dummy. Any other time when Nikaidou is obsessing over random idee fixe he will ignore any attempts to cuddle him and even may jump away from them like from the flame. His perception of the touch varies depending on the mood it seems.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

To keep it short, no. Nothing and no one can convince Nikaidou that he has even the slightest chance of becoming a family man. The very thought of something like this makes him burst into hysterical laughter. He is not suitable for this, it is not worth trying so broken man Nikaidou has already joined Ogata’s little I’d Rather Kick A Bucket Than Settle Down club. Mediocre in both cleaning and cooking, doesn’t need constant persuasion to do either.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Endured torment reduced the potential emotional pain to almost non-existing so it won't be difficult for Nikaidou to just leave, to cut them off for their own good. The assumption that they need to end the relationship indicates a major shifting in Nikaidou’s life (maybe, he already knows that his life will end this evening) but at this point, the break-up doesn’t seem like a significant event anymore. Heavily sedated he mutters something unintelligible and then with Arisaka’s bayonet precision cuts the rubbish and announces that they are no longer a couple, they won’t see each other, they should not look for each other under any circumstances, and walks away. No hesitation, no doubts, only humility and disconnection.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Would love to get married someday, spend the rest of his life with a loved one far away from the horrors of war and the gold hunt. However, its possibility seems so elusive and unattainable that Nikaidou decided to put this thought on the back-burner. Now his mind is preoccupied with the desire to slit Sugimoto the Immortal open so even if there is a loved one by his side Nikaidou is highly unlikely to propose. Any hints and mentions of the wedding fly into one ear and fly out of the other.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Nikaidou began to appreciate moments of vulnerability and gentleness after life dumped the pile of shit on him. The tides of tenderness are always unexpected but most often they happen in the middle of the night when he jumps up drenched in a cold sweat from a nightmare. That’s when he snuggles closer to them like a child scared by dreadful thunderclaps and branched lightning. There are not so many things he needs to be happy: a gentle kiss on the top of the head would do just fine. Nikaidou also shows his soft side when the silly childish nature overcomes the bereaved byproduct of the war he has become. Then life seems a little more fun for him, and even more pleasant with their fingers squeezed in his hand. Otherwise, he is completely closed off both physically and emotionally and if confronted can’t even figure out what a person wants from him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Each of their meetings awakens an irresistible desire in Nikaidou to embrace them in his arms and spin them around to the sound of their ringing laughter. However, as soon as he leans forward, slightly bends the knees so they can jump up for a hug, invisible threads pull him back. You can pinpoint an exact moment when it hits him that Nikaidou awkwardly straightens up and looks bewildered for where to put his hands. In addition, he feels guilty either for the fact that he cannot give what they are asking for or for that he is so self-critical. If they still decide to take the initiative and hug him Nikaidou will not protest. So to say he never hugs them first but will return a hug half of the time.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It doesn’t take him long to confess, I’d say, time ranges from three to six months. Since Nikaidou quickly becomes comfortable with patient people who return his love, he will not miss the moment to mention how he feels. Each of his declarations of love is unique. Sometimes Nikaidou grabs them by the hand and runs away into the sunset to recite a verse in a secluded corner. Sometimes he spins around with puppy delight and chatters nonsense, mixing it with I love you. I really do. Did I tell you that I love you? Wait, did I? It’s impossible to get a serious confession from him even when Nikaidou gives the impression of a collected person. Absolutely ecstatic when his s/o whispers sweet nonsense and words of love into his ear. You can see it by the changes on his hat.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Nikaidou is one of those people who can go batshit crazy in the blink of an eye because of one wrong word. Even silence in combination with an appraising gaze flares him up like a red rag does so on a bull and there is no going back from this point. He is laconic. No empty threats, no long prelude. Once Nikaidou draws out a knife it’s between his rival and God. This man doesn’t mind getting messy since every outrageous deed of his will be blamed either on painkillers or someone else. Tsurumi probably won’t want him to end up behind bars or on the scaffold.

Won’t ever accuse his s/o of being unfaithful and will turn blind eye to red flags because… Perhaps he is simply not ready to lose another loved one. Without realizing it, Nikaidou ignores veiled disparaging phrases and undisguised interest in someone else for the sake of peace of mind.

That doesn’t mean he won’t kick man’s ass to prevent subsequent misunderstandings.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Messy, greedy, and ingratiating. He was pretty popular among girls way back in time so you can call him an experienced one and it shows. When Nikaidou is struck by unexpected amorousness in public, he will occasionally plant a kiss on his s/o’s cheek or shoulder. No, social unacceptability does not matter at all in a face of his feelings. In private he is just uncontrollable: Nikaidou goes from kisses to bites back to nibbling exploring them from head to toes. Prefers to kiss his s/o behind the ears, on clavicles, grooves between the ribs, etc. Any place where there is almost nothing between the bone and the covering skin makes his neurons fire additional dopamine. At the same time, he can be wayward about being kissed so the safest options are kisses on the cheek or nose.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

I have reasonable doubts that any mother would want their kids to hand out around such a seasoned soldier as Nikaidou is but if it ever happened, they would have a fun time together. He turns into an absolute sweetheart when a little child grabs him by the hand and drag him along to show some sloppy hand-made craft. Even if Nikaidou tried to be harsh and unapproachable, his mask would fly off as soon as a high-pitched voice asked to play tag. Nevertheless, he prefers to stay away from kids to avoid scaring them with whatever frightening that could break through in his behavior. No need to give little one a recurring nightmare about limbs occasionally falling off to rumbling mirthless laughter. Never thought about having kids of his own but would definitely ponder if his s/o brought up this question. So, maybe, they and one or two cute little girls could make a perfect family?

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

They are erratic. To begin with, Nikaidou rarely spends nights with his loved one so catching him in the early hours is a tall tale. Much more often he visits them at lunchtime or even later in the afternoon having already fulfilled the plan to vex the top of the division. His mood has already dropped from a mania mark to ecstasy or normal level of excited agility making Nikaidou a skilled handyman, a voluble interlocutor, and an ardent lover three in one. While there is a free minute, he wants to mend creaking boards in the hallway right after describing the latest adventures in the smallest detail. May kiss them now and there between looking for the right tools and starring outside for a few sec. Overall Nikaidou endeavors to get the best of hours spent together.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Just like with mornings, staying over in his loved one’s place is a gemlike rarity. By the end of the day Nikaidou still in full swing and keeps the same attitude as earlier. When his battery finally dies, he turns into sluggish sessile mollusca Nikaidou homebodius that refuses to leave the secure shellhouse even if they beg him tearfully. Since outdoor activities are no longer an option, his s/o can try reading out loud, playing different board games, or chatting. Sleep quickly overpowers Nikaidou and he drags his loved one to bed or, if they don’t really want to sleep, tricks them into sitting next to him while he is peacefully dozing off.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Before the accident, he doesn’t feel the need to talk through every little event that happened to him during the conscious years of his life. If they ask specific questions, Nikaidou will still describe the past in general. The childhood did not differ from theirs, filled with small problems and big discoveries (as for a child). Teenage years? Well, nothing special, been there, done this… Neither he asks too much about his partner's past.

After all of the shit he endured, suspicion forces Nikaidou to always be alert and keep the banalest things to himself. You have to be a trusted person with a big T for him to open up at his own will.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

In a relatively safe environment and next to a loved one Nikaidou lowers his guard and allows himself to be amiable despite all irritants. He is too tired to worry, too tired to resort to passive aggression leave alone yell at them or show his anger in any other way so expect small sighs as a reaction to most stupid mistakes. Sometimes he just bursts out laughing instead of commenting on another misunderstanding. They may raise their voice in exasperation and Nikaidou would rather meekly look down than do the same in response. In a relationship, making him angry is not an easy task.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Nikaidou has a very selective memory which requires a strong emotional outburst to remember a thing. No matter how important it is in the eyes of his loved one or even in his own without proper reinforcement he won’t memorize it. For example, hypothetically and forgetting how he feels about the idea of family and marriage, on his wedding day he is overflowing with real solid happiness so naturally, this significant date will be engraved in his memory for life. Yet an important statement thrown in the boring conversation is unlikely to catch his attention. He pays little attention to anniversaries, remembers their birthday 5 times out of 10, and honestly is ok if they are just as thoughtful.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first moment of non-sexual intimacy like bathing together. It left Nikaidou speechless in unsuspected awkwardness of being perceived as he is, without the chance to hide or leave. For the first time in a while, he finds himself wondering what another person thinks of him, what sees in from of them, what feels toward him. Thanks to their love Nikaidou finds himself comfortable in his skin and a little more grounded. In a good way.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Congratulations on acquiring the iron man of the century with a wide range of body modifications to make this life safer for you and your loved ones. He won’t think twice to use Arisaka’s creations, both mechanisms hidden in the limbs and simply rifles created by his design, to disintegrate the slightest threat to his dearest. Not everybody around is seen as an enemy even though Nikaidou is terrified of losing them especially taking into account the unfolding carnage. Won’t ever ask them to protect him, won’t let them do it under any circumstances and if they show willfulness, he will surely scold them after a scrape.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Thinking ahead is the fate of weaklings. He has thought out one or two dates before realizing how tedious they appear so after that Nikaidou decided to invest only in the form of spur-of-the-moment ideas. Remembers about the anniversary if his loved one hints at it coming but diligently picks up a classic gift for them under the supervision of Tsukishima or Tsurumi himself. Likes to do chores? Hell yeah. When in a good mood Nikaidou can replace a whole group of handymen.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Not particularly that ugly? This is a problem that seeps into everyday life slowly and imperceptibly but sooner or later his small misdemeanors in everyday social interactions start to show. He misses one social cue, makes the situation kind of uncomfortable but doesn’t notice it until someone cautiously points it out. He tends to interrupt mid-sentence, often gets lost in thoughts and it puzzles him if a person finds it rude. Nikaidou navigates in society more or less successfully but can inadvertently bring a little awkwardness to the group.

Well, he is prone to all sorts of addiction. Not only painkillers. Any stupefying substance is at risk of transitioning from I’ll try it once just to know what’s like to I’ll go commit multiple atrocities if I don’t find a bottle or two.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

You probably don't expect to hear it, but outside the usual rush, Nikaidou prefers to keep himself neat and clean despite his style being on the weirder end of the style. He takes good care of his wooden limbs and repairs minor injuries himself. If the damage is done is beyond the limits of his capabilities, Nikaidou has no problem with asking Arisaka for a replacement. Definitely gets attached to clothes from his meager wardrobe easily.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

One of those people who won’t have energy left to go on without them. It’s misery. The devastation. The finish line right before the steep cliff that you don't have a spare second to stop from flying out into the abyss. Thirst for revenge helped him get back on his feet after losing his twin brother, who knows if it works twice. Overpowering sorrow sends Nikaidou into a frenzied episode of weeping and sobbing, he screams and wails like a wounded animal. If their killer is still around, he’ll try to cut them open in a fit of blind rage.

May fall in short psychosis and spend days sitting by their lifeless body, caressing heavy cold hands and peering in their lifeless eyes. Irreversibility of what is done hits him hard leading to gradual burnout.

And if they decide to leave him Nikaidou will hold a grudge. Everything is far from being as bad as in the previous scenario though, he just wants some space and everybody to shut the hell up as he stabs random objects. Secretly hopes for them to change their mind and come back. Somehow feels guilty about not being good enough.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

After 15 minutes of thinking, I came to the conclusion that I have none. Sorry!

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

It goes without saying changing Nikaidou is a waste of time like he is far from being a malleable clay and even further from mulling about adapt to someone's tastes. The thought is so bizarre that it fails to reach his subcortical structures and even if it did Nikaidou would rather flip a table and jump out of the window than agree to that idea.

The cold aloof type doesn’t get a pass either since without some effort on the part of the other person, they won’t pass the greeting milestone. Good luck in staring from afar as he evanesces with someone else's riffle running away from jaded Tsukishima.

People accustomed to planning every second of their lives with the scrupulousness of a busy businessman will have a hard time dealing with spontaneous shifts in Nikaidou’s mood and schedule. Half of the time he has a problem drawing a clock if you know what I mean.

Sugimoto’s relatives lmao, Nikaidou would definitely doesn’t like that in a partner.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Turns into an unmovable stone by ten and passes out with clenching on their hand using it as a pledge of good sleep. If he did not manage to fall asleep, it means that Nikaidou could not spend all his energy during the day and will have to do this in the middle of the night. Don’t be surprised if you wake up to a newly planted garden or Nikaidou stuck in the roof. No, I don’t know how.

Dreams mostly about his brother. Surprisingly, nightmares rarely bother him and Youhei appears in bright scenes, basically, in an alternative universe where they never have joined the army and stayed forever in the fondest hometown. After such dreams, Nikaidou wakes up with an unpleasant feeling of a lump in his throat but at the same time, even such an illusory meeting with his brother gives him the strength to keep going.

Indecisive whether he prefers to sleep with prostheses on or not. Prostheses on and Nikaidou is ready to protect and attack at any time but he would not want to make them uncomfortable

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy headcanon #golden kamuy imagine #nikaidou kouhei #tosikowrites

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comfy-whumpee · 4 years ago

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Whumping Safely 101

Many people in this community have mental health problems, face various types of discrimination, and have complicated relationships with some parts or types of whump. In particular, I aim this at people who care about the experience of survivors and others with triggers – partially because I am an abuse survivor who often flirts with triggering content as part of my love of whump.

Keeping your blog safe is difficult, takes effort, and is never a perfect process. But as the community grows and grows, it’s really important that we hold ourselves to a high standard. I would argue that this is a responsibility of all content creators, but especially those of us in the messy playground of whump.

I’ve got three sections in here: content warnings, writing with care, and community interaction. I’ve tried to make it navigable. It’s about 1.8k words. Shorter than a lot of drabbles! I welcome good-faith criticism on this topic and further questions on my own views.

Content Warnings

The biggest responsibility, in my opinion, is empowering your reader to make their own decision on whether they want to expose themselves to your writing. This also happens to be by far the easiest way to help people whump safely.

What to warn

This is a big and ever-changing topic. Some things you should warn for as a rule of thumb are anything NSFW, pet whump and box boy whump, drugs and alcohol, medical and hospital content, graphic gore, intimate partner violence, and animal harm. It can be tricky to draw the line of what counts – what needs a warning? If you’re in doubt, just warn it anyway. It doesn’t hurt.

If someone requests a trigger be warned for, even if it’s something that feels obscure or tame, show compassion and agree to the request. This is someone who cares enough about being able to read your writing that they wrote in! They want to be able to read it and enjoy it. You’re being complimented.

Otherwise, look at what other blogs tag for. You’ll see some variation in styles and levels of detail, but it’s a good way to gauge what people think is warn-worthy, when we’re often writing stuff that would already be R-rated in mainstream media.

The easiest way to make sure people don’t see your triggering content is to use a cut. Tumblr is not a very functional website and likes to delete cuts, but a cursory check of your posted content will usually tell you whether it’s worked. With asks, cuts are very spotty, so don’t be afraid to post an ask response separately with a screengrab of the original question. People often then respond to the ask itself with a link to the post, especially if it’s a whole drabble. Tumblr is weird and bad so just do your best.

Content notices

I.e., a quick summary before the drabble, usually in bold, to state what will be coming. I like to distinguish between using content notes (CN) and trigger warnings (TW) to indicate severity. Others might use the old phrase ‘dead dove do not eat’ to indicate this is a heavy piece, and often you will see qualifiers like ‘intense’, ‘mild’, ‘mention’, ‘referenced’ (i.e. it is discussed but not actively happening), and ‘implied’ (as the opposite of ‘explicit’). I’ve also seen a couple of people use ‘vibes’, which is a really nice way of demonstrating that it’s there, but not the focus. A quick paragraph like this, or just a line, lets people make a quick risk assessment on their reading.

This is also important if you’re sending in asks or requests to people. If you want to ask about something triggering, send an inquiry first about whether the blog is okay to hear it.

Tagging

Tagging is a chore, but it’s your primary way of warning people about your content. The main benefit of tagging is that you can be as detailed as you want, because can be tagging for content in general, not just triggers.

In a best case scenario, you’d tag the kind of whump you’re doing, tag triggers, tag characters, and even your ‘verses, because tagging is your index for your blog. If you tag reliably, you help your future self and your readers find stuff, and you also make your blog really dang safe. People who have unusual triggers can blacklist tags, and will pick up on your content tags to help them.

Don’t just tag your own writing. Tag your reblogs, tag your prompts, tag your asks. Yes, edit your asks to add the tags. Tag your images and gifs. Tag your images as images and your gifs as gifs.

If you aren’t up for detailed tagging for whatever reason, just tag for triggering content, and add stuff to that list if you’re asked to. My usual technique is to make a mental note of tags while I’m formatting and editing before posting.

Be aware that your first five tags will be used in search results. If you’re using tags that are associated with kink too, such as ‘shibari’, you might want to rethink your tag order if you don’t want interaction from those blogs. Also think about what tags might come up in non-whump contexts, such as ‘collar’ or ‘PTSD’. Some tactics for getting around this I’ve seen are adding ‘whump’ after the content or writing the tags in past tense (i.e., ‘collared’).

It is also a good idea to watch out for when you might be reblogging something whumpy that is intended as kink / porn / fetish, especially in images. Tagging these as spicy / nsfw / kink is a sensible move.

Writing with Care

Okay, now for the harder stuff.

I mean here to lay out some guidelines for how to write in a way that helps your reader build good faith. This is a much more nuanced topic, and it’s different for everyone. There will always be differing opinions on what should and shouldn’t be written about, what a good depiction of a sensitive topic is, and how to discuss that topic. I tried to strip this back into absolute basics that I hope we can all agree on.

Maybe your whump involves abuse. Maybe it’s gaslighting. Maybe it’s severe mental health problems, or addiction, or slavery, or you write about or analogise real-world issues. Whump deals with the dark stuff, and that’s a big part of its appeal. But don’t ever forget you’re writing the dark stuff.

(Try to) Know what you’re doing

Some of us play fast and loose with plots, medical accuracy, worldbuilding, and other things that get in the way of the pain we crave. This is all well and good, but when we start using whump that speaks true to people’s lived experiences, we shouldn’t be careless with it. I’m particularly talking about things that get represented poorly in mainstream media, such as abusive relationships, issues around marginalisation, mental illness and disability.

Be critical of media that you’ve consumed. Think about how its depicted things that you want to depict in turn. Look for opinions on fictional representations of those issues. Be aware that you might be more ignorant of things than you realise.

Look at how others are writing these issues, particularly if they’re writing from a perspective different to yours. If you haven’t personally experienced what you’re writing about, e.g., if you don’t have PTSD and you want to depict a character who does, seek out stuff written from or with experience. Listen to the experts.

If you’re looking for stuff about representation specifically, I recommend this collection of posts about ‘Braving Diversity’ cultivated by Writing With Colour, who are in themselves a fantastic resource for this topic, and have recommendations for other blogs that deal with intersecting issues.

Listen to others

Missteps are inevitable. Nobody is perfect. If constructive criticism is offered, that’s also a compliment to your writing. Someone read your work and thought about it, and thought you’d care about improving it. They’re offering themselves as a resource for helping you see your work in a new light.

Criticism is hard and sometimes hurtful, but even if we don’t think it’s accurate, there’s often a grain of truth in it. If someone tells you that your writing is harmful, think about why they’ve said that, not whether or not they’re correct. This is an opinion! Opinions are subjective! But what drove someone to send that in?

You don’t have to respond to all your criticism and definitely don’t respond straight away. Being respectful to those who are trying to help you means taking the time to consider it properly. Sometimes, they don’t need a response. Others, you might want to learn more about what they think before deciding. You might have already discussed the topic, in which case, you might just want to reblog your previous posts.

If it’s sent in bad faith or is outright hateful, you’re well within your rights to just delete it and move on. You might get the same criticism over and over again, and that’s exhausting, and you don’t have to retrace your steps for everyone.

But if it’s new, even if it puts your hackles up, you can always stop and wonder why someone felt that strongly about your work.

Take a step back

One of my better-known characters is a pet whumper who conditioned his victim to adore and depend on him. It’s not always easy to represent how deeply messed up that is within the text – though I think that’s part of the challenge – but in meta-commentary, I am always describing him as a creeptastic bastard lacking compassion and self-reflection. I hope to always give the reader the confidence that I know just how wrong it is.

This is a really simple thing you can do just to give readers good faith in you. Show that you know what you’re writing is dark and messed up. Show your understanding for the issues you’re handling and that they’re complicated. It might seem self-evident, but when you’re writing the really dark stuff, or unhealthy relationships, or institutionalised whump, you can inadvertently create the impression that you just think it’s fun. The fact that it’s fiction does not automatically absolve you. Show that you care about doing it right.

Community Interaction

I’m going to keep this one short and sweet because I will almost entirely be preaching to the choir here.

Be polite to others. Imagine saying what you’re saying to their face.

Don’t send anon hate. Just don’t. If you can send criticism off anon, do so.

Nobody is obligated to interact with you.

Nobody is obligated to monitor their own reader base.

If someone says do not interact, do not interact.

If someone says do not interact, why they’ve said that is none of your business.

You don’t need to spread the word about someone’s bad politics.

Ask yourself if your input is needed, or if what you’ve said has already been said.

You don’t have to take a side.

Take care of yourself. Take breaks. Remind yourself that whump is a small part of the world.

That’s all from me, folks. Stay safe.

#discourse...adjacent?#whump community #whump etiquette

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