#it's not ''This is how you trans'' like. what's working for me rn may not work for someone else and it's fine

[gender-euphowrya]

my therapist telling me i'm his point of reference when he deals with other trans patients

[communist-ojou-sama]

hi may i ask what happened with aspas? im in china atm so i didn’t have access to tumblr until today because we are spending three days in hongkong rn lol and it seems i missed a lot 😭😭

Well, let me take this opportunity to explain my interpretation of silence relatively thoroughly since somehow some people think I am being unreasonable.

First: known transmisogynist harasser posts a poll with two stills from anime popular with trans women on this website asking users if they'd assume someone was a pedophile for liking them.

Second: a trans woman screenshots this post at a point where less than half of the answers are "no", and talks about how once her life was literally endangered by anonymous people on the internet because she had a character from a completely uncontroversial, critically-acclaimed anime as a profile picture, because the people giving away masks at the height of COVID decide that this makes her "a creep or a Nazi"

This sparks a site-wide discussion

Apas's only contribution to this discussion is something to the effect of "defending pedophilia is not sustainable for trans women"

We begin to ask questions

"Nobody said anything about an actual pedophilic anime, you know this right?"

Apas's response: "..."

"you know that this is a reactionary moral panic and the actual people sexually abusing children are respected authority figures right?"

Apas's response: "..."

"You know that trans women have literally been driven into suicide for liking anime that simply have something of a bad image right?"

Apas's response: "..."

Apas-95: the fact that we don't see pedophilic media as the same as works of racist propaganda shows how little children's safety is taken.

Me, personally: "would you like to clarify which pedophilic media is popular among transfems and what, specifically, you want to do to those accused of watching it, miss apas-95?"

Apas's response: "..."

Now, how exactly am I supposed to interpret these silences?

[sunlitlemonade]

my liege may we hear your thoughts on the jason helena comic blease 🙏 i need to form an opinion

babe. i believe in you. you CAN form an independent thought. cheering you on. sjedhskb i say this with love. regardless!

my thoughts: -> more helena content? fuck YES -> more jason content? fuck YES

-> they're not in gotham.... hm... ok fine -> the cop thing….. AUTHOR CONFIRMED COMIC IS NOT PRO-COP!!! we'll see how much dc editorial lets them stick to that.

my thoughts on fandom reaction: -> everyone needs to get a life -> 'helena is being passed around batboys like a blunt' god forbid a grown woman fucks whoever she wants to? these ppl really will see a adult woman have relationships in a franchise notorious for having a limited dating pool & immediately act as if the only good thing she can do is..... not be with men? because that decides her worth? wheres the sexual liberation NOW huh. also just because she was 'with' dick once doesnt mean thats her only personality trait. grow up. so what if she's dick's ex? she's not allowed to be with other ppl anymore? nice! cool! got it! -> 'this will RUIN helena & she will treated sooo bad' wow. are we forgetting when dick kicked her for bruce when she made a MISTAKE? shes been the punching bag for the bats for veryyy long. also new52 did more damage to her than a comic with jason might. -> 'new writer on the block lets all shit on the comic that hasn't even been released yet!' good job everyone! very proud of the mob mentality & the sheer disrepect we have towards creatives trying to build a career, especially with baseless complaints because theres nothing to even complain abt yet. like. women [especially trans women in this case] will always always always have to prove themselves & grovel & beg to be heard. this is a NEW FUCKING ARTIST PLEASE GET YOUR SCREWS BACK IN PLACE GUYS IM REQUESTING YOU ALL TO FUCKING BEHAVE

god forbid anyone brings new ideas & dynamics to the table. really. thats so boring. characters should only ever interact with the characters they first interacted with!! i understand the want for a further building of those previous dynamics & what not but sometimes new flavour is needed especially with characters that have been a bit stagnant

-> also someone started talking abt how helena should finish the jokers work for him by killing jason because he shot at dami [ok so we're regarding the comic where a teen who was murdered attack a child? like that makes sense for jasons character right? & is surely the characterisation to be used?] & because of how he 'threw mias past at her face'…. by saying theyre the same? he literally said theyre the same. implying to have a similar past. like. its clear as day for anyone with reading comprehension skills. so. youre just shitting on a csa victim. because of what? the fact that hes a man? is that is what is being said here? that men can't be csa victims? ok..... thats surely a good & humane take to have! [sarcasm in case yall couldnt tell]

-> 'author has written beast world & will hence make this a bad jason comic'..... she isnt lobdell or zdarsky or daniels or morrison who have consistently written him badly. be fr rn. she has written him in one comic [not even even mainline] & theres scope for lot of improvement. complain when the comic is out & if it turns out bad. ppl will whine & bitch & moan & scream themselves hoarse over anything. generational run of being miserable! great job.

i mean i understand the wariness. a few mutuals have said as much to me. i understand. but lets wait till we have something to complain abt before we decide its going to be the worst thing everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

-> that one post that goes 'helena fans we didn't want her here either' or something..... like SEKFEKRFN as if associating a character with jason will automatically KILL THEM LMAO. i for one am very intrigued! like with all of this said, this could be bad but lets stop acting as if helena & jason interactions can't be interesting. two amazing characters coming together is the very formula for something that makes you want to look. why exactly would jason fans not want her there? i like her & i like jason & seeing them together would be really cool, if handled well. so maybe stop speaking so confidently on behalf of all jason fans. not even every jason fan agrees with you. idk what youre on abt lmfao

[stormyelliotwritez]

ok ik youre not taking requests rn (btw hope u have a good time during ur break) but whenever you can itd be much appreciated if you could continue the ftmxlogan fic (the one where the reader thinks hes straight but hes not) i love your work. You may further it however you like, but i personally am looking for like a supportive logan who tries understanding your identity.

Ty :3

HIIIIIIIIII IM BACK and yeah, i had a good break and now im here to make ya happy with supportive logan!!! SILLY BOY TIME!

HE’S NOT STRAIGHT?

(pt 2 of but he’s straight)

He dragged you along to the teacher’s lounge and then promptly pushed you into a seat. Without saying absolutely anything, he grabbed two beers from the fridge and then sat down next to you.

“Here ya go, bub,” he said as he held one out to you.

You took it and relaxed into the chair. He watched you for a moment before opening his beer with one claw. Damn, that’s hot. He obviously noticed your staring and slight blush and so he held his hand out, one claw still out.

“Want me to open yours?”

You nodded slowly. Damnit, why’d your words stop working? Why now? You’re literally sitting in the teachers lounge with the most hottest man ever who you’ve had a crush on for years and now your words aren’t working? Talk about bad timing!

He smirked and with that one claw, he popped the lid off your beer. He did it slowly and absolutely knew what he was doing to you. He wasn’t stupid, after all.

“So you have a crush on me, huh?” He asked with a s smirk.

You nodded again, trying to coax the words out of your mouth.

“Have for a while. Sorry,” you said quietly.

“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” He said before leaning forwards and taking a swig from his bottle.

He stared into your eyes before blinking and leaning back again. He was thinking. You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t figure out how to. How do you explain that you thought he would never like you?

“Well because I’m me and I’m not- I’m not like you. I’m different,” you managed to mumble.

One of his eyebrows raised and he stared at you. It was like he could see into your soul. He couldn’t but it sure felt like it.

“Because you weren’t born a boy, right? Is that what you’re getting at, bub?”

His voice was quiet and thoughtful. It sounded like he understood. Could he understand? You’d always thought no one would understand you.

Eventually, you nodded and glanced away from him.

With a finger, he moved your face back to look at him and tutted at you.

“Don’t look away from me, okay? I ain’t gonna think of you different so how about you explain it to me, the old geezer, yeah?”

You nodded and slowly you smiled. Maybe this would be okay. Maybe he could understand.

“Um, so I was born… a girl, ew, but when I started growing up, I realized I didn’t like that that much and eventually I figured out that I was a boy so I was trans,” you said slowly, trying to make sense.

He nodded along and rested his hand on your knee, squeezing it every so often. He took a swig of his beer as he listened intently.

“And when I ended up here as an adult, I was able to get on T and so now I look more like a man and I’m happier,” you finished.

You drunk some more of your beer and he smiled. He squeezed your knee again.

“Well you’re a hot man, thats for sure,” he chuckled.

You started blushing and chuckled before taking another sip. That wasn’t what you’d been expecting but it made you happy. He made you happy.

You two sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s company, until Logan cleared his throat.

“I want to understand you more, bub. I wanna be there for you, okay? Can I do that for you?”

This sounded like maybe he was reciprocating your crush but maybe not. That was probably too hopeful.

You nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that, Log.”

He smiled as well and leaned in slightly. “And I’d like to maybe take ya out sometime as well.”

Okay, there it was. He reciprocated and you had to try so hard to not jump up and scream from excitement.

“Yeah, I’d really like that, Logan,” you said with a soft smile.

[queeriouslyollie]

ACTUAL BRAINWORMS AHEAD ABOUT TROY

i like actually have SO many thoughts about troy yall dont understand. i have so much to say that i dont remember ANY OF IT TO PUT HERE.

its also been to the point that like. its all i think about. its so bad rn too bc i ran outta both my antidepressants and adhd meds (fuck pharmacies theyre all a pain in the ass omg) and so my brain is this mushy slurry of just. troy troy troy wonderlust runt troy troy blink troy. i literally could not focus at work today i had to write in my journal so that i didn't implode.

anyways after this point there are spoilers so dont read on. i woulda tagged it but this post is gonna be so rambly and full of my brainworms that i dont know if i wanna tag this at all lmao. so anyways yeah brainrot brainworms warning if you read ahead,

so yeah i have some like ideas on what troys whole deal is (besides being our [recovering :3] asshole nepo baby).

like first of all, 100% trans coded (like all of charlies characters, like wtf how is this cis guy better at being trans than i am??). please let it be canon i am begging

second, im torn between the theories of him being a little clockwork guy or being a hybrid (like runt and blink n the reclaim guys). its hard to tell what's cannon and what is troy mode comedy shit, but it seems like we may not have ever canonically? gotten a description/confirmation of what is actually under troys suit, and obviously not what may be under his skin. if he is a hybrid that could have some really fucked up connotations asw

third, whats his deal with his family? it's basically been confirmed that his mom's dead (or otherwise just OUT of the picture). his dad is around, for a bit i was SO convinced his dad was gonna be the inventor. either way, whats the deal between them? just nepo neglect? or something worse? i have a feeling either way i WILL be ugly crying. again. to jrwi. about a charlie character. and also siblings?? he said he had a brother. but then when the yort appeared he said he always wanted a brother? so maybe bad relationship there too?

also??? like his character growth?? the amount he has started to be able to convey his respect and care for the team. i love the little part about runt having an actual feeling of looking up to him when they sled down the mountain. they are so sibling coded. troy and blink's little arc was so good too (also like. malewife troy. all im saying about that). and his whole thing in ep 22, the way he was able to twist the perceptions people have of him, and even the fucked up shit he has done, to manipulate (gaslight gatekeep girlboss) his way through that situation. and the team letting him take the reigns!!!!! anyways this makes me wanna compile a list of my fave quotes/interactions/moments/etc from the campaign. i just might.

i genuinely dont know why im SO attached to this goddamn character. theoretically? i should hate him. he is like, literally antithetical to everything i am and stand for. literally a foil to who i am as a person. but like???? idk. as ive said before he's the first character ive ever understood and felt the "i can fix them" thing about lmao. and he has shown character growth,

and to me he seems. misguided? maybe even hurt? by those around him. it seems like those who should have nurtured him failed him. and like. i really empathize that. i kinda feel that a little too much (but from a different lens bc i am the furthest thing from a nepo baby lmfao). and not to psychoanalyze him (more), it seems to me that maybe deep down he thinks very lowly of himself. bro is literally prince charming but was surprised when aeon called him pretty boy?? like i mean obv, he's not the brightest guy around, but i also think he should give himself more credit where its due, and he might not appreciate his achievements enough and seems to beat himself down when he doesnt reach his own standards. he also seems very touch starved (or just. any [authentic] slightly positive interaction starved in general)

or maybe im just projecting too hard onto him oops lmao. thats the vibe i get tho

if you read all this i think youre probably just as ill as i am about this guy and like. respect. or maybe youre just bored or thought there would be something smart in here, in which case i deeply apologize for my word vomit

anyways i think im gonna go rewatch wonderlust from the start for like the fifth time. or riptide for the like 12th (god give us our funy lil pirates back!!!) because. i lobv them

[rxsilabeth--er]

If your not accepting requests you can absolutely ignore this!!! I just found your content recently and got hooked

I absolutely adore trans!Reggie as a transman myself (literally starving for any content rn 😭) May I request trans!Reggie and Transman! Reader headcanons? Fluff and smut welcomed. Just imagine the bonding and inside jokes or comforting each other whenever they are dysphoric. T4T my beloved

:: Tit for Tat

Now calling....Author: "Hello?? Yes! Sorry, this took a bit long, I was working a lot due to school!! I hope this is okay, I'm a cis girl so no idea how I should go with this request, but I'll try!!"

Now calling....Synopsis: "Regulus, a boy who was wrongly first put in a girl's body dates you. You both are transmen and are dating. HCs about Reggie dating a transman! Reader"

Now calling....Warnings: "Transman!Reader|| Established relationship|| NSFW headcanons|| underage sex: fingering, riding, kissing, face riding.|| Barty sleeping with elder girls for fun|| smoking|| drinking, usual shit in marauder's era|| homophobic allies|| mentions of suicide|| Triggering content to some trans people, putting this here incase it does..|| Tell me if I did anything wrong, but please be nice! Thank you all for reading, liking and reblogging is greatly appreciated|| Bye!!||

▩ Now I suppose you both actually met in the Hogwarts express in first year as girls, you sat beside a gorgeous girl with black hair, pale skin, gorgeous eyes as a boy who matched her looks burst in, hugging her, "There you are, little bugger!! I'll be with James, Peter and Remus, don't cause troubles." he said as she nodded, before he smiled at you and walked away as you smiled and complimented her as she blushed softly, "Thanks." absolutely gorgeous.

▩ You and her sat in silence. But after a half-Korean boy, a boy with albinism, his twin sister and a girl with gorgeous dark skin and prettiest braids you've ever seen, one thing led to another and you all sat on the same table at the Great Hall with green decorating your table.

▩ And in second year, you both began liking each other, but the gorgeous girl with black hair and pale skin from Black family was nervous what her family will think or feel about her being a girl while dating a girl, but you promised to keep it a secret along with Sirius and you both began dating or more like like being in a kiddie relationship until it became sirius serious in 4th year.

▩ You both weren't just innocent girls no, with Barty, Evan, the marauders and so many dirty minded kids your age, you both also weren't innocent, making out in Myrtle's bathroom in the bathrooms, softly learning how to finger each other by Barty's instruction who was given to him when he slept with some elder Hogwarts girl.

▩ You eventually learned how to lock your doors, perform silencing charms earlier than most and more because your girlfriend couldn't keep her hands off of you and you got wet too quickly hearing her whines and her pushing her fingers over your stockings where your cunt would be.

▩ softly as you both grew until it was fifth year and your girlfriend began distancing herself from you, and things weren't going good, stress was building up for exams and stuff and on top of that, you started getting gender dysphoria and began questioning your identity as a girl.

▩ Barty and Evan began giving you cigarettes and drinks in forth years, pretty young, you knew that and it did help sometimes take off the stress and you saw SO many kids your age do it, Slytherins did not allow third years and below to drink or smoke, only allowed for forth years and fifth years, apparently it was a rule.

▩ One thing and it turned into half a bottle and you drunkenly stumbling to your girlfriend to whom you confessed everything and woke up the next day laying in bed against her. You and her both confessed your problems and agreed to be together during this journey. One was going to Madame Pomfrey secretly and having her give you testosterone shots or getting magical binders which literally vanish your boobs for as long as you wear it and it's so comfortable. Who knew wizards were so accepting? You definitely didn't. Well everyone other than purebloods.

▩ And by the end of fifth year, you and him cut your hair, Bellatrix tried cursing Regulus until Andromeda said she was acting like how a muggle would and suddenly, she was a homophobic ally, does that exist? Well, who knows, his parents, and Bellatrix sure were, though she did try to hex him, since he looked so manly and so muc like a guy, she forgot he was a girl after one point.

▩ His parents were thinking of disowning him, but that meant that the family house and fortune would go to Alphard and Aurelia, and she would rather be cruico'd than let that happen, so she named him as the heir, saying to people that since he was such a sick child, they didn't mention him, but his "sister" (aka his dead self) was a blood traitor, and people didn't really give a fuck.

▩ The most accepting of you both were Alphard and Aurelia, Regulus's uncle and aunt and Walrbuga's younger brother and ex-best friend because Alphard had a trans friend himself and he and Aurelia were bi before it had a name. They sent him so many letters, trying to bond with him and Sirius and it did work for a long time.

▩ Now speaking of you both being trans. He will take SUCH good care of you during your period or if you're feeling dysphoric or something, softly riding you pussy with his own, rubbing your clits together with his cold, ringed fingers as he praised you, telling you how handsome you are, stuff like that.

▩ Force you to sit on his face like it's a chair and eat you out for hours on end, tweaking your nipples, if you haven't had surgery or if you have, does not matter. But will be more gentle and only lick your nipples if you have had top surgery or something.

▩ Please please please! Comfort him when he gets dysphoric, he gets suicidal thoughts and you love him so much and he's so cute, and he needs all the comfort in the world. Loves it if you fuck the good thoughts into him~

© This writing work belongs to me, rxsilabeth--er, Aurelia, Rosilabeth, Cerine. Reblogging is appreciated, but plagiarizing or copying my works is forbidden, thank you for reading this and if you like this check out my blog!

[arcsin27]

a p2is remake may be what i want, but is it what i need?

wouldnt what i need most be a p4 remake?

i already like p2is. i dont need a remake if i already like the original. if anything, a remake has the risk of changing things i really liked about it

i do not like p4. a remake would be their opportunity to try again, to convince me to like it. this is especially the case with p4 in comparison to other games i dont like. almost all of my issues with p4 boil down to a few issues:

it feels horribly dated to me. its sense of humor and the way it addresses some sensitive topics just fall flat as a modern player. i also feel it kinda gets in the way of its themes of being your true self and finding people that accept and support you. its also hard for me to like the party when theyre being bigoted and assaulting each other for laughs...

ive heard that some of that insensitivity and uncomfortableness was actually due to poor translation instead of it being a product of its time

i subscribe to the theory that 3-5 have such uncomfortable jokes and messages because of their director. i think this is especially plausible considering even games almost a decade older than p4 do not feel nearly as dated. ive always thought p2is was shockingly based despite coming out in 1999/like 2010

the thing is, if atlus were to remake p4... theres a high chance these issues wouldnt apply anymore. theyd have a different director, they could fix translation issues, they could reword some scenes to feel more like individual character flaws than a societal statement, etc.

weve already seen this in p3r! they took out the garbage trans joke, and even went so far as to add some extra hints to ryojis bisexuality i think!

i dont think every flaw needs to be erased btw. i dont want it to be like what i heard happened to the atla remake where sokkas sexism was scrubbed. i suppose my hope is that modern atlus would tweak the awkward moments to make them come across more like a character flaw that needs to be worked on instead of just being comedy or treated as normal. i think the sort of things id want to see changed are:

a friend and i, who both dont ship souyo btw, have had conversations about how just adding back the yosuke romance would recontextualize all his homophobic moments into something i honestly wouldnt have much issue with. tbh from what ive seen theres already enough framework throughout the game that that could be the source of his bigotry, it wouldnt take a lot of alterations to have it follow through

ive heard teddies creepy scenes dont come across that way in japanese due to language nuances and the voice acting implying hes a confused kid parroting yosuke instead of the disgusting incel teen i saw him as when i played. making teddies nature more clear in english would be lovely. id still hope some of the more egregious SA scenes are taken out or changed but im sure just clarifying his age and motivations would already make me feel much better (or at the very least have him face more serious consequences for treating his friends that way)

i think the wording in naotos persona awakening scene felt fairly transphobic at times. there could be some yosuke scenes that would still feel like atlus not condoning homophobia even if his motivations were changed. there could be other issues im not remembering rn. some gentle editing of the more dated moments might need to occur for me to see a remake as an improvement

looking back at my list of issues and fixes, it kinda looks like im just illiterate and need my hand to be held to understand wtf is going on in this game lmao. that could be true, though from what i understand im nowhere near the only person thats taken issue with how some aspects of the game have aged. either way, im just yapping my basic ideas for the perfect p4 remake. i dont think my intention was to say this is what atlus should absolutely do, im pretty sure im just writing out my hopes for a p4 remake thatd make me love it the way everyone else does! (also these arent the most well thought-out story changes and are based on vague memories or screenshots. i wouldnt be surprised if it turns out my ideas would have big ramifications for the game. if removing naoto saying ftm transition is impossible butchers her character or clashes with the setting or something, id understand pushback on that lol)

—-

This has been in my drafts for a while, now that there’s so much evidence it exists it’s borderline leaked I feel I need to post it now

[ms-demeanor]

Heya, got a question about cybersecurity meetups. Do you think folks would be cool with a rando showing up because they're curious and like learning new stuff, especially for writing? And also because internet privacy is super important rn and there's no good books or written sources I can find on hacking, the dark web, etc; let alone digestible to somebody who knows what a directory is and how to use command line and not much more.

Also. I know it's gonna vary per location, so if you can't speak for all of 'em, I get it. Are these kinds of spaces like 2600 and Defcon queer friendly? Or I guess what I'm asking is are they notorious a place queer people should avoid. I'm non-binary and don't rly pass as remotely normal or straight, and I have nobody to go with me :|

Thank you!

Meetups that are publicly listed are very cool about randos showing up to learn new stuff and talk to weird people. Most meetups tend to be about 5 parts socializing and 1 part "tech activity" like a talk or a demo if they have a tech activity at all, so you're mostly just going to be meeting people and talking to them about themselves.

I will say, if you show up specifically saying "i'm a writer and i'm here to learn about stuff for writing" you're probably going to get some trolling - that's pretty common and a lot of meetups do have to deal with stuff like journalists periodically showing up to get the inside scoop about the scary hackers and that usually gets some fairly mean-spirited teasing directed at them.

So it's better to show up because you want to learn generally. People don't like being used as reference material during their socializing; they're there to hang out and talk to people with similar interests, so ask them about their interests. You can just say you're new to the scene and you heard about hacker meetups online and wanted to learn more.

If you want to do something to pregame and learn a bit about hacking ahead of time you may want to try hackthissite.org, check out 2600 magazine, or look on the DefCon forums to see what's going on in your local DC Groups. There are some good books about hacking; I like The Cuckoo's Egg and am asking anyone with good books or memoirs about hacking to chime in in the notes.

I will say, asking about the darkweb specifically might get you some eyerolls because it's something that sounds a lot scarier and more intimidating to most people than it actually is. You can get on the darkweb now. You can do it on your phone. Here's a very basic get-started guide. I don't think it's necessary to use a VPN to use Tor (most guides recommend it and then link to pages full of affiliate links for VPNs), and here's the Tor user manual to get started if you want to. Be careful, and if you're planning on doing anything that requires actual anonymity do a LOT more research before you follow the advice in any guide, but yeah pretty much everybody with an internet connection can get access to the darkweb in about twenty minutes. It's just websites that you need to use a slightly different set of tools to navigate to (granted, the content of the websites might be horrifying, so. Again. Be careful.)

Anyway moving on:

Defcon has had Queercon (a queer party for queer hackers) as a part of the con for at like twenty years and I know many queer and trans people who are part of the scene. And there are a lot of trans folks who I know who are volunteers at defcon and help to run hackerspaces and who volunteer and attend and run all manner of cons. I can't speak for your local group, but I've found that hackers in generally are more tolerant of a *lot* of things than the broader population is (they are weird people who engage in a hobby or who engage in work that is often technically criminal - they don't have a lot of room to judge and the more sensible ones among them know that).

HOWEVER I have personally had problems with defcon the conference specifically about harassment and infosec does lag behind other parts of the tech sector in participation from women. Defcon is working on it and i know their current head of conference security is very serious about ensuring that it's a welcoming space for people and that if people DO have problems at the con it is handled in a serious, sensitive way. (Legitimately, he's a good dude) I just. I don't go to defcon. There's more info in my pinned post. That conference is burned for me.

BUT there are a lot of other conferences, big and small, and there are a lot of local groups to look into. You'll have to get to know your local scene, but I'd bet that if one part of your local scene is unwelcoming that other parts are more open.

[velvetvexations]

i feel really selfish saying this, but i really wish there were more general trans movies with characters who aren't trans women. like, i'm really glad that they're there and there should be more, but on the other hand, its kinda all thats there? obviously there ARE movies like this, but 9 times out of 10 when there's a recommendation to go see a trans movie, its either a trans women or a character heavily implied to be a trans women there. and i'm really glad those movies are there! but i'd just wish there could be a big discussion about movie and there would be a trans man or a nonbinary person representing the community.

(this also goes for other types of media too)

i sent an ask complaining about how the majority of trans movies that the community talks mainly show trans women and i wanna take that back cause a lot of those media are shitty towards trans women. i dont think its fair to complain about that when those media are awful towards trans women. i apologize

anon of the trans ppl in media asks you can publish them! i retracted it cause im kinda emotional rn and i couldn't really remember if i was being fair or shitty

I think what you're forgetting, anon, is that while trans women are depicted badly in a lot of places - less so over the years, people mainly reference things from the previous century - there's still way more positive transfem rep than there is of anything for transmascs, and that doesn't mean transfems have it better, but as always hyper-visibility and invisibility are two sides of the same coin. It's okay for invisibility to not feel good. There should indeed be more media about transmascs.

Now I'm finally doing that. This year I made my first ever hand sewn cosplay. There are definitely mistakes, but it's pretty sturdy and I can't express the sheer sense of pride I got from wearing something I sewed myself. There are some things I wanna tweak on it, like I must have made a mistake when measuring the waistband because it's WAY too thick. But it's functional, it's accurate, and it even has a zipper! It was expensive because of course for my first ever sewing project I picked a character with a pleated skirt (you need 3x your waist in fabric and im fat which definitely adds up lmao, plus i got the fabric custom printed from a print-on-demand company) and the pleats took forever to do. But I'm so so so proud of it. I'm looking into armor crafting with EVA foam for a future cosplay, and it's intimidating but I'm really excited at the idea of working with it. I've seen so many amazing armor sets and props made with EVA foam and I can't wait to make my own. I'm thinking I'm gonna cosplay Maple from BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, So I'll Max Out My Defense.. Then again, that might be jumping off straight into the deep end again like I did for the last cosplay since she has a GIANT shield. At least I'm sticking to her main outfit, not the one with giant angel wings lmao. I may have watched several videos on wing crafting but even I'm not brazen (or stupid) enough to try making those for only my second real cosplay lmao. Anyway this has been your regularly unscheduled cosplay info dump. Thank you for tuning in, we'll see you next time!

Ambitious! I hope it all turns out great, it sounds like a lot of big projects to have on one's plate.

My opinions are a lot more nuanced than most takes on 'shipcourse' that ive seen, but I've gathered that im generally included when people say 'proshippers dni' based on how people define it in said dnis. I'm not gonna purposefully interact with someone who obviously doesn't want me there. But that makes it frustratingly difficult to find people to follow who also believe in things like transandrophobia. It happens all too often that I find someone with great takes and go to follow them, then see that they have a dni that includes me. It especially sucks when all the other things in the dni are things like "racist" and "transphobic". I'm sorry, but I just can't see having a nuanced opinion on fiction as being on the same level as being a bigot towards others. It sucks to be put on the same level as actively hateful people because I have concerns about the normalization of censorship. I believe that when you open the doors to censoring media because of morals, you set the groundwork for things like the Hays Code. Censorship has always been disproportionately used to silence marginalized groups. I just can't get behind that, no matter how 'noble' the intentions behind it might be.

If it helps any, I'm also what one would call a pro-shipper but find the word itself beneath my dignity because I think it's ridiculous it's an argument in the first place.

[slushi-puppi]

Hello!! before we begin, this blog is 18+ only

last updated on May 6th, 2025

please DNI: minors, blank or ageless blogs, ED/ANA blogs, Homophobes, Transphobes, Racists

Please respect my DNI and my boundaries (found below). I also block freely and without shame, I have a fragile mental state that I am working on.

for everyone else, my intro is below the cut <3

for anyone interested, I recently made a thr0ne and f4nsly! I will be updating it regularly and adding lingerie for new pics <3

slushi-puppi's intro 🐾

Helloooooo every puppy! as a basic summary, I am a 19 year old Agender dog thing from the US. I currently use he/it pronouns. Dms and Anons are on.

Basic information~

Names you can call me on the daily: Basil (thats me!!!), Slushi, Pup, or puppy

My pronouns are he/it/fae! I'm starting to experiment with neopronouns, so things are definitely going to be updated more :3

i started hrt on 3/4/25, and don't plan to take any breaks

I have an amazing girlfriend, and we are poly but date separately

Hot trans people to the front!! I'm T4T, and am open to meeting new people :33

the easiest way to describe my gender is Lost Dog. But I use the term Agender if you're curious. I'm also Queer

I'm a therian of sorts! I align myself with coyotes, Australian Shepherds, and German shepherds

I'm physically disabled. I use a cane often, and Ibuprofen is my best friend anymore

it is important to know that I have C-PTSD, BPD, AuDHD, and am a OSDD-1b system.

also, I struggle to keep up with most conversations, it is nothing personal, I am simply awful at talking to others. I promise I'm not mad, like.. ever.

My tags~

*i don't have any other tags rn, I'll update when I do <3*

posts made by yours truly: #basil barks

answering asks: #basil barks back

my pics: #puppis pics

NSFW stuff~

*NSFW interactions are welcome as of march 30th*

I occasionally post pics, but never of my face (if I like you enough and we happen to be mutuals, you will see my cute face hehe)

I'm a vers switch! I have a sub bottom lean, but I'm fine with whatever suits the mood of the scene!

I don't really enjoy titles when feeling dominant, but things are bound to change :]

Pet names and things I like to be called overall are:

Mutt

puppy/pup

slut

whore

cumdump

faggot

pretty boy

bunny

honeybee

I happen to be into quite a bit! the list has gone down recently, but they are in order of how much I enjoy them.

**BE SAFE, DO YOUR RESEARCH FIRST, PRACTICE RACK**

Breeding (but no pregnancy)

Pet play (puppy or bunny<3)

CNC

Hypno

Bondage

**there is definitely more, but I cannot remember the rest as of right now. these are the big ones hehe**

here's my bdsm test results! these are of as march 18th:

WHAT I AM NOT INTO:

I have done a bit of experimenting, but some I just don't want to try. please understand I have no hate for those that do participate in the following. it is just not for me lol

Feet

pregnancy

feeder/feedee

older man/younger woman dynamics.

farting.

piss

masochism and sadism (trauma related reasons. as hot as they can be, I refuse to participate)

---------------------------

if you read this all the way, consider reblogging! id love to meet more people, and I hope you'll stop by again :]

[misano17]

yo my mom is asking me for research on what t does and how reliable it is and i don't feel like wading through transphobic shit or researching on my own rn- do you have any recent sources on regret rates + positive effects + the various methods of applying testosterone? ty. also i would listen to u forever

I don't have the resources on hand but I can get back to you later with sources and I can ask the university departments I work with for resources as well.

I can give anecdotal stuff as a rootin tootin North Carolinian who has been on T for a year. My advice may not apply for getting on T in your state/country but I can explain how I went about my process, why I choose injection instead of patches, and how injecting has been for me + how to do it safely, and what effects I've had in my first year + some of my lab results and why my results are what they are, so you can make informed medical decisions/put together research 🫡.

K so effects generally for me have been:

More hair, my hair grows faster all over my body including my head

Deeper voice. For the first six months I also experienced a lot of voice cracks, though with my choir background and heavy vocal training prior to HRT my voice was already a bit androgenous, so the effects were quick.

Acne. It's puberty again, though my acne was more manageable cuz I was taking care of my skin this time. I still have acne but that's more cuz my pharmacy has been inconsistent with my refills so on weeks when I don't have my T my acne gets worse. On a side note your skin also gets tougher, but I'll come back to this later with the injection post.

Bottom growth. Make sure you have loose boxers and stuff that won't irritate yer nerves cuz that can be a pain. It's usually a non-issue but it can be real annoying when it's first occurring.

Body Temp increase. I am the world's sweatiest man, I was already a bit sweaty before T but dear god am I the sweat lord now. If it ever seemed weird to you that middle school/high school boys could be outside in winter in shorts... this is why. I generally don't feel temperature cuz of autism related hyposensitivity but I do notice a slight difference in my body's reactions to temperature. I don't get goosebumps as often now.

Masculinizing my frame + face. K so this one will be more subtle and slow but your face and body will masculinize. After about a year your chest will reduce in size a bit, and your fat will redistribute into a more masculine-ish kinda way.

No more period. As soon as I started I stopped having periods. (there may be a medical reason for me specifically for why this occurred so fast and I'll elaborate on that lower in this post)

Other people also report an increased sex drive, I did not get this but this is probably because I do not have a sex drive at all.

Anyways on a labs note, before starting T I already had elevated levels of T in my blood. My primary care provider and I have a few explanations for this that we've been floating around but we haven't pursued any yet. I had irregular and infrequent periods since like starting my period, so we assume I have something goin on.

Testosterone injections, how I got on T, + the medical stuff:

Dosage: My doctor started me on 200ml once a week. According to my other trans masc friends this is quite high, but I experienced immediate changes.

Informed Consent: In order to start T I did not need to see a therapist. I sought out a primary care provider (using google to look at my options) and pick one who would help me get on HRT the fastest and monitor its impact on my body to keep me safe. I was also picking my primary care going forward so I also took other stuff into consideration. Anyways the primary care provider I picked uses informed consent as his metric for how to approach my transition care. My insurance at the time didn't cover transition care so it cost me 70$ for twelve weeks + like 25 cents per needle.

Speaking of needles... Injecting: Ight so I use a 25 gauge 5/8ths inch needle to inject once per week on my thigh. I inject on the top of my thigh cuz T is intramuscular and I don't wanna hit a vein. I draw up my T with an 18 gauge cuz T is THICK.

Anyways here's the injection process from start to finish:

Swab the top of yer T bottle with an alcohol pad

Grab yer syringe, sometimes I get syringes with 18 gauges already on and sometimes I get syringes with 25 gauges already on. If you have a 25 gauge on yer syringe in the package, use the package to twist it off and LEAVE IT IN THE PACKAGE WHEN YOU REMOVE THE SYRINGE. Be careful not to let anything touch, you do not want an infection, if stuff does touch use an alcohol pad.

Draw up. Get your desired dosage in the syringe, and take it out of the bottle. BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR 18 GAUGE NEEDLE OFF THE SYRINGE draw all the T that's left in the needle into the syringe this helps get rid of air bubbles and use as much of that T as you have paid for.

Use the packaging that the 25 gauge is in to screw it onto your needle.

Push the plunger of the needle a bit to get all the air out, do that thing that doctors do where they flick it as well, and push it ever so slightly to get a droplet going down the needle. You don't want air bubbles, be thorough.

Swab the area you are about to inject.

Align the needle with this directly, don't go in at an angle, you want this straight.

Get it in yer skin, then pull out a bit to check for blood. If there is blood choose a different spot cuz you hit a vein, and you do not want to be hitting veins. Once you get a good spot push all the T in.

After you pull the needle out immediately apply direct pressure to the area. I recommend using an alcohol pad for this.

Rest and recover. For people who are afraid of needles, or just generally don't like pain (there isn't much but your body, especially if you aren't used to injecting will exaggerate things to you mentally. After you skin gets rougher injecting can get harder, and this can make things more difficult.) be gentle to yourself. You can get a friend to help you, or get some music as part of your ritual. Just give yourself some kind of positive thing to associate with this cuz it helps and you deserve it. The general thing to remember is to inject in different spots based on your hrt specialist/primary care/ doctor's recommendation. My primary care recommends switching legs, but over time I've started exclusively injecting in my left leg cuz it's easier for me. I vary the spot on my thigh rather than the leg. Be kind to yourself and make sure to vary spots.

Also you might be sore after doing T for the first couple months, this does eventually go away (at least in my case). Try to schedule the day of the week (or every two weeks, some doctors prefer to prescribe two week plans) so that you have a day where you can rest afterwards. My school schedule last semester on my mountain-ahh campus made injecting on Monday easiest, cuz I only had one class on Tuesday.

Anyways I choose not to do gel/patches cuz A. My mother is a nurse and I like needles, B. It works better for me cuz I don't like the smell of gels and patches, and C. From what I've seen it tends to work a bit faster, especially if you are very active, and I live on a mountain and hike everyday, so I am quite active.

Ight so accessing T:

The way I went about this was by getting a primary care provider who was willing to help me access it by prescribing it. I made it clear that my intention was to transition and I wanted hormones as soon as possible. My primary care walked me through the side effects, and made sure I had done my own research first before considering it. After that we did my labs to check what levels would be safe to prescribe me. He walked me through the process of injecting, and made sure I was informed on everything and consenting.

So North Carolina, to my knowledge makes it not too difficult to get on T with a healthcare provider backing you, but I was also 18 at the time.

Anyways I'll be back with sources when I get the time, cuz erm this is all anecdotal from my personal experiences. But I can also say with certainty that I've experienced nothing but gender euphoria in doing T. I wake up everyday and see my new self in the mirror, and it fills my soul with joy I didn't know I was capable of feeling. I'll be getting surgery this summer, and I am very excited for that as well.

Anyways if yer a North Carolinian and want advice on legal name change stuff here for over 18 year olds lemme know. I just got through the process without a lawyer so I can help with that if you need advice 👍

[velvet-serenity]

Hello! My name is Lucian and Im in dire straights rn. I am a trans, intersex, disabled, otherkin who really does not want to be on the streets. My commissions are open in a sort of emergency mode as my housing has become incredibly unstable and I need to get out of the state I'm in (Missouri) and preferably this country.

Between all of us (my two partners, who also need to escape) we have 3 cats and a dog who all need to come with us. I cannot leave them behind.

Here are my goals so you know what any money you spend or donate will be going towards:

Feeding me and my cats: pretty self explanatory I think.

Passports: we all three need them and they're about 165 dollars each.

A mobile home or RV big enough to fit all of us, used: I have no idea how much this will cost but I know it's a lot. We may also need a vehicle if it's a 5th wheel.

Everything you give will go to keeping me and my pets off the streets.

If you aren't interested in Fursuits, Bleach Painted Clothes, Traditional Art or Pixel Art, but you ARE willing to donate, please send it to $SignalEhxx on cashapp. Everything helps, even one dollar.

I am willing to take "after dark" style commissions! Please feel free to dm me if you have any questions regarding ANYTHING.

I'm thinking of offering writing (fic/custom work) coms but I have no idea how to price those so if you're interested in having a fic written please message me about it.

Here is what I offer! ALL QUOTES ARE FREE AND REQUIRED!

Fursuit commissions:

! quotes required for full pricing !

This list does not include material pricing, which will be a part of your quote. These prices can, will, and do go up based on complexity and other factors such as tail length and plantigrade (humanlike) or digitigrade (animal like) legs.

Head Only: Starts at a baseline of 100USD.

Head+Handpaws: Starts at 150USD.

Mini Partials(Head+Hands+Feet+Tail): Starts at 200USD.

Partial(Head+Hands+Feet+Tail+Armsleeves OR Legsleeves): Starts at 300USD, if choosing legs, digitigrade legs add 50USD.

Full Partial(Head+Hands+Feet+Tail+Armsleeves+Legsleeves): Starts at 400USD for plantigrade legs or 450USD for digitigrade legs.

No Fullsuits at this time.

Individual Part Prices:

Handpaws: Starts at 50USD

Feetpaws: Starts at 75USD

Tails: Depends on length. Nubs/Short tails start at 25 USD, Long Tails+Husky Curls start at 75 USD, Floor Draggers/Oversized Tails start at 150USD.

Armsleeves: Start at 100USD.

Legsleeves: Start at 150USD plantigrade, 200USD digitigrade.

Price will go up depending on certain factors and complexities in your design. Here are a few:

Colours: Suits exceeding 3 colours (including blacks, whites, and greys,) will have an additional 25USD added per colour. this is because it will add to the working time.

Markings: Stripes, Spots, Lines, Swirls, and other numerous small markings will raise the price by 50USD per type, this is because i have to hand sew them and they take a very, very long time. if it is a single marking, i likely wont charge for it unless its very complex, like a cutiemark.

Specialty Fabrics: Fabrics including Vinyl, PVC and Metalic/Leather look type fabrics will raise the price by 25USD per. this is because theyre very hard to work with, especially when hand sewing.

Payment Plans Available.

Material Costs will be expected to be fully covered before work begins. Completed items will not be sent until all costs are covered. At this time, I cannot give refunds.

Bleach clothes:

Simple designs: 15 dollars + shipping

Medium design (ie lots or words or a character) 20 + shipping

Complex/Dual Sided: starts at 30 and depending on just how much you want may go up! + shipping

Traditional Art:

Simple doodle: 5 dollars, may be less depending what you ask

Sketches:

Bust: starts at 10

Half body: starts at 15

Full body: starts at 25

Full body + scenery (ie furniture, background): starts at 35

Shaded Sketch:

Bust: starts at 15

Half body: starts at 20

Full body: starts at 30

Full body + Scenery: starts at 40

Badges: must pay shipping! Otherwise prices above + 10 (so I can laminate them!)

Full colour:

Bust: starts at 20

Half Body : starts at 30

Full Body : starts at 40

Full body + Scenery: starts at 50

Badges: must pay shipping! Otherwise prices above + 10 (so I can laminate them!)

After dark adds a small fee of 5 dollars for all of the above

Pixel art: all of the above prices, but does not offer badges.

Tos:

My work is under no circumstances allowed to be used for nfts or ai generation.

You are not allowed to claim my art as work you did.

Please don't post my work on Pinterest just for personal comfort

Won't do:

Any of V1vzie P0ps works

Z00, n3cr0, or p3d0 nonsense. Get out of here.

Anything promoting racism or bigotry, including exclusionism or medicalism of any kind.

Extensive gore.

Wont do AD (tbh this mostly all applies to everything):

All of the above

Sc4t or Di4pers

R4p3 or anything non consenting

Anything where one of the characters is dead or dies.

L0li, sh0ta, or anyone who is not of age

Abdl/ddlg or anything similar.

.

.

.

Thank you so much for reading, if you made it all the way down here. I will be posting examples separately! Please scroll my page to see them 🥺

[aldieb]

nano for babies mini writing torture experiment complete at 14,025/9,000 words. i am proud of myself. analysis:

before this year, i hadn’t written anything coherent or finished a story since 2020. getting fiction writing back at all was a huge win, but i was curious about whether i could turn it into more of a habit and less of an exciting occasional spark.

i aimed low at 300 words/day (with the most important aspect being writing each day no matter what—no making up words on other days), but it was still a real stretch. it took 16 days before getting started went from a major effort to something i was able to slide into after being out doing things all day, and there was a serious dip at around day 10 where i considered giving up. this is actually pretty similar to how habit-forming for workouts functions for me.

i don’t think the words i produced were very good, overall—i liked about 1/3 of them. i seem to have 2 settings: 1) every few months, randomly sit down and write a scene i’m incredibly happy with craft-wise or 2) grind for a consistent output that is just mid. the second is preferable if i ever want to get anything done, but it doesn’t feel anywhere near as nice as the first.

the cat fic was an outlier in that it was part of the grinding exercise but hit me with the urgency of the random inspiration and did exactly what i wanted it to (it’s my least-read fic by far which is how you know you’re cooking with gas). i need more of that—i have a list in progress of things my brain finds very crunchy in this way that i want to integrate into original fiction. working on dust is kind of complicated rn (a lot of the core emotions that make the story run are things i feel differently about nowadays just bc it’s been quite a while since i generated the idea. also did you know that the original iteration of one of the protags was a trans guy who was closeted for the entire story? girl help) so i’m considering starting a new long-form thing.

i can’t keep up with writing every day. the main barriers are freelance work (which i didn’t have any of this month. but doing it is essential to my well-being not merely on a financial level but rather on a “my soul will shrivel until it is the size of an atom if i am not involved in the trade book business in some way” level) and weekly dnd (which required writing on the full-time-job clock because i don’t have a single spare moment on mondays. the amount of potential creative time dnd takes up is actually kind of insane considering 2 hrs travel round trip + 4 hrs gameplay… but it’s pretty fun…). i do need to stick with the habit, though. 1k weekly word count probably?

i whined a lot during this process. marsh and the roommates may be entitled to financial compensation.

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[age-of-wonderbeasts]

on a rainy day i like to sit and think about the random rules society has created for itself. about how we're all just silly creatures on a planet trying to thrive yet we've confined ourselves into these little metaphorical boxes of rules and order we have governed.

if aliens came to earth they would be shocked at how limited we've created the chance to thrive. the functioning of societies based solely on money? what even is money? universal trade? it's just paper and metal that we've all collectively agreed has value, and that x object has x amount of value. and then we get greedy, so the trade changes and increased and we get inflation. and we just. go with it! like oh yeah ok! that's a system that's been in place for centuries even though it's completely futile and pointless and we might be better off trading like idk cavemen or ppl who existed before these governed societies who traded objects for objects.

another concept is like. inequality. there's so many of us and we are all uniquely different that we can't see how we are all human and I think that really goes against us. it's a silly system to be divided by class and these social rules that govern ones worth despite the fact we are all bits of tissue and cells and biological genius and, despite not looking the same, are all human.

jobs is one i think about a lot. we all have our jobs, which creates money, which is trade, which determines worth. jobs. more boxes really. I think about it. a lot. IM HAVING TOO MANY THOUGHT ABKUT THIS RN AS IM TYPING I CANT ARTICULATE. what happened to build shelter, hunt food, cook food, etc etc? ofc we may find that insanely barbaric in the 21st century. but how barbaric do you think someone ( who only knows the contexts I've just described) would find a job. do you think aliens would touch down on our planet and mock us for being our own gaelers? but then I think, some jobs are absoloutely necessary. and i think jobs have evolved. not everyone in the past would have gone hunting. henceforth, it's a job. just not in our colloquial sense.

adding on to this is the work schedule in general. who decided on 9-5? is it optimised for everyone? why then do schools follow a similar structure despite there being studies showing teenagers are nocturnal with different sleep patterns that do not comply with the timings of a school day. why are we making life harder for ourselves?

why are we making life harder for ourselves?

don't get me wrong these systems have been in place for yonks and if we tore them down I think society and us as a species would crumble, I think a world ending cataclysm would cause less damage than trying to reverse the weird systems society has in place that really limit our freedoms if you think about it in a meta kind of way. or maybe I'm not using my brain enough. anyways eat the rich, education should be free everywhere at every level and trans rights are human rights

[ttsnewsarchive]

good news and actions you can do

Monday 6/23/2025: happy pride, happy UN public service day, and happy national hydration day.

actions you can do from home this week for the indivisible crowd:

send an email to your senator to demand they oppose war

attend a rapid response call for “healthcare not warfare” tomorrow (6/24)

here’s a tailored call for people with republican senators!

ice resistance news and actions:

an interesting article on a protest in texas

donations for a trans southerner who was recently exiled

please share any more donation options for trans southerners impacted by ice escalation.

nourishing reads and helpful links:

A Look into Houston's "Safeguard the Flame" for Political Prisoners - scalawag 5/8

Invisible Histories is a project saving Deep South LGBTQ History

EarthtoKB’s most recent Trans News that Doesn’t Suck video on instagram

“Pam Bondi’s brother crushed in DC Bar Association election” - the hill 6/9

want to boycott big box stores but unsure what other stores take food stamps? let the SNAP retailer map be your guide. while looking for alternatives to corporations that were pissing me off, i was surprised by how many retailers in my area take snap these days. i hope this map empowers you to be more selective about who you buy from, too!

if you want to do more with your dollars, you can use this website to cut out brands that fund conservative candidates.

Campaign for Southern Equality has resources to help you make your local schools more supportive for LGBT+ students

news that i’m not gonna link to rn bc i need this shit PUBLISHED but i wanna bring up:

a glad reminder, Kilmar Abregio Garcia is back in the country, and Rümeysa Öztürk was released from detention. Both continue to face legal proceedings, but at least we know where and how they are at the moment.

i continue to celebrate that the prez’s birthday party was embarrassing for him, that the US had its largest protest turnout EVER on the same day, and a bit unrelatedly that boycotts on target have had a harsh impact on their business.

there’s a lot of mixed news these days— amidst bad news we find good news that is only good in the context of badness. but it is not just bad news, so i hope you have hope with me.

one last thing to do:

help me brainstorm. thanks to my godforsaken state of TN, a harsh blow has been dealt to trans medical rights, especially for trans youth. is there anything y’all can think for us to do together that can help bring hope to trans youngsters who are recieving this terrible news? i see a lot of ppl saying things like “it’s not just about the kids— they’re coming for us next!”, which is a valid concern, but even if it was just about the kids, that wouldn’t somehow make it acceptable. as a group of trans people who have made it to adulthood, is there anything we want to say to trans kids to help them make it through this difficult time?

why no newsletter for all of may and most of june:

tldr; shit website, shit tech, and me.

i am getting sick of tumblr deleting my post drafts in the middle of me trying to write up a new newsletter, so you got a quick and rough version of a newsletter comprised of links meant for may and june. it’s nearly july! this site tries my patience, but it’s the site i chose for this. :|

it doesn’t help that my devices all like to die abruptly because i keep the same shit for like 10 years. it also doesn’t help that i’m stupid and try to work on things with like 15% battery knowing full well my phone and laptop both sometimes die at like 12%

anyway, if you had sent me something to be in this newsletter and i forgot to add it, i am so sorry. trying to get this out has been a mess and it feels like the universe is conspiring against me but it’s just my own foolishness. if you want me to update this post with something, or if you want me to add something to my next post, please comment & lmk.

final unrelated note i hate that AI uses the emdash so much. i love the emdash and now it’s considered AI writing style. i wanna change how i write to avoid it, but it’s sad. imagine giving up the letter T because it’s associated with tesla. like good luck with that.