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heart-heart-heart · 4 months ago

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Incomplete transcript of Nick Marini's Beacon AMA

Spoilers, typos (both mine and his), also Discord was messing up so a lot of the questions didn't load. I didn't copy every response either, mostly focused on lore

Q: Do you have any headcanons/conspiracy theories about Exandria (or more specifically) the ending of the Calamity? A: I definitely think that the Dawnfather does not like the Divergence but accepts it as necessary both for his family and for mortals. All of his domains are so hands on. I think he is much more comfortable leading by example and actually doing, as opposed to directing from behind.

Q: Choosing to play Ayden as a kid was an insane choice (in the best way possible). What drew you to that? Would you have still done it if you played a different god? A: Having Ayden be 15 was definitely a reaction to the Dawnfather’s name. I liked it both because it subverts the expectation of him as the patriarch and also I think he would have waited until the last possible moment to take a mortal incarnation, as his domains are so fundamental to the wellbeing of Exandria. He is hands on and the thought of stepping away from that is tough. Had I played a different god I would have been more around that 30 mark for sure!

Q: What was your inspiration behind making Ayden view the Dawnfather as his father instead of being the Dawnfather in disguise? A: I really liked the idea of the Dawnfather sending his hope to Exandria in the form of Ayden. Yes he is the Dawnfather, but he is not the entirety of the Dawnfather, nor has he had the time to reconcile his divinity with his mortality the way the others have. Ayden is both brand new and ever constant, the young aspect of an ancient whole. He does not have the baggage the Dawnfather has and maybe disagree’s at times with him/himself. He is not old enough to know that some things are beyond even the gods and miracles. He is the Dawnchild filled with he hope of a new day. Sun deities have often been described as being reborn each day and so there is this journey of youth to age they experience each day. Having him be the Dawnchild felt like it put him in conversation with how many sun deities have been described, as well as allowing him to literally be in conversation with himself Dawnchild to Dawnfather.

Q: Was there a confrontation between another NPC or PC that you wish you would have been able to see or gotten more time at the table? A: I thought it would have been really fun to talk with the Lawbearer herself more. As the god of agriculture I think we overlap in some interesting ways. Civilization after all stems from agriculture. We also had really different views on the way Aeor should be handled and Ayden had never seen a city before so I think that would have been my choice!

Q: what location/area in exandria would you most like to explore ? A: Whitestone would be awesome to check out! That’s my favorite tree!

Q: ? A: Oh Jeez that’s tough!. As a player watching Slitch and the Ars Elysia was so fun! Also I love rp with Bren and him screaming at me was amazing. Everyone just absolutely killed it though so its hard to choose a fave I feel like everyone had such great moments! Noshir saying “little lies are okay” was absolutely heartbreaking and I feel like he put on a masterclass of patiently choosing your moments.

Q: As mentioned in the 4SD, once you all shed your mortality there seemed to be a shifting of the Gods' views on mortals and mortality as well. What was your behind-the-scenes take on that moment and what would Ayden think about his father after the fall of Aeor? A: I think for Ayden this experience was part of growing up. Sometimes even the pure of heart or those with unassailable conviction have to realize that the world is a messy place and not everything can be truly solved, rather we are always in a constant state of trying. I think he gave it his best shot and came up short, as the Dawnfather knew would happen. But part of parenthood is sometimes letting them try and loving them as they fail. It’s important to try. I also think about how the Gods do not have an afterlife, so for them death is something they fear on a much deeper level. Ayden wants to save them, the Dawnfather knows not everyone can be saved, he wishes Ayden was right, it’s why he had to send him, but eventually the Dawnfather has to step in.

Q: If the Dawnfather had a chance to speak to Ludinus, what would he say?

A: "I am sorry that the lesson you took from the fall of Aeor was that tearing things down is the only way to solve them.

Q: During the 4 Sided Dive, Brennan mentioned how you were a player that combined the best of both mechanical & narrative elements to do really crazy and insane builds. How do you come up with these concepts, and for anyone wanting to expand in these areas what would be your advice to do so? A: I think I touch a little on this in the Adventuring Academy ep he and I did a while back. For me I feel that mechanics help inform the narrative and vice versa. The classes you choose can really tell a story. And the story you experience can really shape what classes you choose! A cool idea for a build doesn’t necessarily translate to a fun character to play and a cool character idea might be boring to actually play mechanically. I like to choose one thing I really know I want to explore and go from there. So for instance with Ayden I knew he was going to be a cleric of the Everlight and I knew the 6th level Peace Domain was a really fun mechanical ability I wanted to play with. Ayden grew very much from that foundation. Having a plan and being open to changing it is key! In our home campaign I played a knight who by the end was taking wizard classes because he realized that no matter how good a knight he was he could not teleport to a place in need, so he started taking wiz levels which I never expected and he did so even though he never got to cast teleport.

Q: What fun multi-class combos or ability interactions did you not get to show off at the table due to time limits? If you and Emily Axford shared a table would Brennan just instantly self-immolate? A: Ayden could have tanked quite a few spells with his insane spell defense and saving throws. I almost used the Divine Prowess to make a persuasion check to convince the enemy wizards to target me but I had already take so much damage from warding bond that I didn’t. If Emily Axford and I ever play in Bren’s table I want to build like twins or something who combo together to immolate him if he refuses to self-immolate

Q: ? A: I was reading a Dragon Magazine that had a 3.5 variant for Druid called Sidhe Scholar. It is basically an academic who while studying the fey accidentally draws their attention and they begin to mess with them. I loved the idea and Bren’s brother was running a low magic campaign at the time with a nation that had given up metals in an ancient pact with the fey who in turn gave up the magic to end the war between the two. The Sidhe Scholar has a animal companion who only is friendly to the druid so basically he was out studying one day and then a magical hawk wouldn’t leave him alone and he got branded a witch by the locals and had to flee the country. I want to play him more.

Q: How collaborative was the character building process for Downfall? Did any of you have overlap in gods you wanted to explore? A: TI went first it theSession 0 and pitched what would become Ayden. There wasn’t really any overlap and people had such interesting takes on the different gods that it all sort of fell into place nicely! I thought about but didn’t pitch the Changebringer, flipping a coin to decide to destroy Aeor seemed so sad. She would have likely been a rogue or bard or maybe ranger. I did pitch the Crawling King as a sort of recipient of all pain and suffering who was using this brief time of some semblance of sanity to beg the primes to restart creation because only he knew how much suffering there was in the world. He would have been maybe similar to Ayden’s build but like Zealot Barbarian subclass and no Paladin or something. Just soaking up all the damage he could. There were definitely parts of Zaharzht that were similar but I would have taken Tishar’s advice and not been a tortle!

Q: when Trist looked at Asmodeous, she saw her husband. Who would Ayden see?

A: I think that the Dawnfather sees his brother clearly as he is, tragic beauty and all. I wonder if Ayden also would have seen his true form? I don't think there is anyone outside of the divine family that Ayden would have been thinking about, so perhaps he would have seen his brother not as he truly is but rather as he wishes he could be?

Q: ? A: I don’t know! I think both Dragons were flying around and Stormlord was doing his thing. As for the other I’m sure they were standing by ready to pounce!

Q: Which parts of the Dawnfather and of Ayden’s personality came easiest to you? Which parts were the hardest? A: I will say it was kind of intimidating having my first big actual play be Critical Role and playing the Dawnfather no less! Ayden felt like he came pretty easy, he is the inner child of the Dawnfather and I think protecting your inner child is worth it. The detached nature the Dawnfather has had at times was difficult but I think it stems from the way he was forced to detach himself from Exandria.

Q: Which parts of the Dawnfather and of Ayden’s personality came easiest to you? Which parts were the hardest? A: The concept came pretty quick when I started looking at the Gods of Exandria. I just liked this unexpected view of the Dawnfather that so many thought they had pegged. I think I sort of saw him differently than I heard people talk about during my research. I spoke with Bren a few times for sure and I think he ran it by Matt but honestly Matt just trusted us all to do this which is just a testament to him and his incredible generosity with this wonderful world.

Dawn is also something that I have always had a very personal connection with. My first tattoo was of the Great Eastern Sun, which is the rising sun. I drive an VW Eos, named after the greek goddess of the Dawn. The day of our first shoot I woke up before dawn and watched the sun rise over the Santa Monica mountains as I began a new journey at Critical Role. Dawn represents new possibility or rebirth, its something I deeply appreciate and wanted to bring to the Dawnfather and myself.

Q: First off loved every moment of the Dawnchild, When designing Ayden what made you choose a softer interpretation of Pelor's personality than we've seen in previous CR content A: One of my favorite quotes is, “Don’t let your shield become a cage.” I think the Dawnfather’s experience with his concept goes a step further. He had to cage himself behind the Divine Gate in order not to cage the mortals he sought to shield. It changed him. The light of dawn is soft. He once walked among the mortals and taught them, fed them, gave them light, showed them how to tell time and change with he seasons. He was a present father who was forced to be distant. I wanted to take that journey.

Q: Huge props for your performance at the table, such a profound joy to watch you play. What do you think the Dawnfather’s biggest regret about how he “created” Ayden was, and what moment do you think he felt the most proud of Ayden? A: I appreciate that so much. It was a profound joy to play with such amazing people so I’m thankful that translated! He would have been most proud of how Ayden protected his family. Especially Trist who he was in part sent specifically to watch over. I think he regrets that he had to create him at all and especially that he, to some extent, had to sacrifice that aspect of himself and leave it in Exandria while he sequesters himself behind the divine gate.

Q: ? A: Ugh I’m so glad it wasn’t Ayden that would have shattered him but it had to be done. He has one family and he has to protect it.

Q: During 4 Sided Dive, Brennan discussed the Dawnfather after mortality and his return to divinity, to the 'harsher and sterner' image we get in modern Exandria. What was it like to experience and create that transition of a hopeful and longing God, to a more hardened God? Did you block or pre-meditate any of that or did you just go with how you felt he would have reacted in the moment? A: I for sure premeditated the setup. I really wanted to take that journey and show us a different side of the Dawnfather. I didn’t know how it would end up or what the journey would actually be but I did intentionally set up the juxtaposition. This is to my knowledge the only time we get to see the Dawnfather on this side of the Divine Gate which I think makes a big difference.

Q:? A: I wanted those wizards to target me more!!! I had absurd spell defenses. Spell rolls agains me were at disadvantage, I got advantage on saves, had 11s and 17s on all my saves, and I had resistance to spells. And AC 23. Turns out casting Warding Bond on yourself negates all that lol. But I did get a lot of my buff spells and abilities off!

Q: ? A: I love dogs! I think part of the reason Gilly the dog was in the first episode was because Ashley and I talked a lot about our pups when we had our zoom talk!

Q: You had some of the most quotable moments (like the "do not lie to me!" scene) Did you write down any ideas of what to say like some of the more profound things such as "Why must it always be like this?" or is it all improvised? A: Thank you! The only thing I’d been considering word for word was a quote from the opening line of Tycho’s song Sunrise Projector, “Civilization stems from the simple act of placing seeds and plants into the ground.” I was saving it for my talk with the Lawbearer and then she sent the Emissary instead!! When I said the line about the sun being blotted out I was thinking about my question in ep 1 where I asked if the sun was visible from the sky city. I had been thinking about how the stars weren’t visible and though that was important somehow and ended up finding it in that moment.

Q: ? A: Lovely question. I think as an actor you are always looking at what similarities and differences you have with a given character. It can be both lovely to explore something similar or exciting to delve into something so different from your own experience. In terms of rpgs I think I often play things that are of interest or in my thoughts at the time. For Downfall recently I have been thinking a lot about hope, both how important it is and how painful it can be, knowing in your head what your heart cannot yet accept. In that way I do think there was a lot of Nick in Ayden.

Q: what atmsophere did you think the dawnfather needed to have? What were your thoughts on how he carried himself and how he interacted with the world around him? A: The Dawnfather desires to be in Exandria most of all! I think he believes he knows best but also wishes to help mortals. He is very hands on so the Divine Gate is a real bummer.

Q: If the Dawnfather/Ayden had the chance/opportunity to live out a full, well lived mortal life after the events of Downfall, how do you think that ultimately would've looked like? A: I think he would have traveled extensively and mostly in rural places where he felt more comfortable, doing what he could to help others. I think he might eventually settle down and start a family. He is destined to be a father after all. He probably would have valued education in honor of Trist and found any opportunity to see her.

Q: When the Dawnfather told Asmodeus not to lie to him, what future did he envision where the gods again lived in harmony? How would such a reconciliation happen? Absolutely loved your portrayal, hugely meaningful. A: Thank you! I think the Dawnfather knows that future may not exist. “Do not lie to me” was as much a command as a plea. It doesn’t need to be like this. I don’t think reconciliation can happen while Exandria exists unfortunately which makes their love for each other all the more tragic. Ayden was the part of him that hoped it could but the Dawnfather knows it cannot be.

Q: ? A: In a way yes. He was growing up. I don’t believe that hope is only for children by any means. I think hope is powerful and necessary. I do think that some hopes are painful and that some hopes we have to grow out of in order to move forward. Ayden hoped beyond hope that he could save the mortals and reconcile them and perhaps even the gods. The Dawnfather has to shed that hope so that hope for the mortals and thus Exandria can continue and so that he can do what is necessary to further that goal.

Q: Ashley mentioned on 4-sided Dive that you guys built a lot of backstory for Ayden and Trist. Could you maybe tell us more about that? A: Ayden was found in a meteor crater by a nomadic tribe far from civilization. He taught them agriculture and was a prodigy at reading the stars, outshining their oldest druids. He was to be initiated into the tribe but his skin would not receive the sacred ink marking him as a member. Instead he was given to the charge of an elderly knight who had had some dealings with the time in the past. The knight taught him as they traveled and brought him to a school where he could learn before passing away. That school was Trist’s. He spent maybe 3-5 years living with her and her family, playing with her children and dog, helping the other children with their lessons and learning from Trist.

Q: ? A: Oh my gosh what an incredible scene that was! I think the Dawnfather would have been amused. I didn’t expect to like the Archheart as much as the Dawnfather did. I think the Angel stuff would have dampened his mood for sure though!

Q: ? A: Thank you so much! A rollercoaster it truly was! Before we shot I woke up before the dawn to watch the sun rise. Before we played I was a little nervous but Noshir wanted some help with his character build and I was so thankful to have something to distract me! I could not believe how tired I was after filming. Active listening is the name of the game and its way more of that in actual play by a mile than the traditional film or movie sets I am used to where we are stopping every few minutes. After it was all over Abubaker, Noshir, and I all just hung around while they finished the announcements, we didn’t want it to be over. After we left Bren and I had a nice little midnight snack to just catch up about the incredible experience that it was! It can definitely be hard sometimes to let go just because the experience can feel so magical. Fortunately because of my time at the Wayfinder Experience where “de-rolling” is a thing we very much talk about, so I sort of have been trained to be able to separate back to real life after delving into fantasy!

Q: How much inspiration did you draw from the relationship between Jesus and God / The Holy Trinity? A: Let me preface this by saying I have seen some questions/thoughts about this and I hope I can answer this thoughtfully and respectfully, because anytime we are dealing with something of this nature we need to be conscious of all the different beliefs that our communities may have, and lead with love. I do think we it can be discussed positively and with good intention and (no pun intended) in good faith.

I would encourage a broader view of Ayden/The Dawnfather than just this parallel, and it certainly was not my primary inspiration, though I think it is a natural association to make and is not necessarily wholly incorrect. It is simply something many (westerners especially) are most familiar with and therefore most likely to see, a natural and understandable confirmation bias. Sun deities of many pantheons have long been associated with the son and father dynamic and rebirth/renewal. Horus and Osiris of the Egyptian pantheon for instance. While my education and background makes me obviously deeply aware of the stated similarity, my hope is, that by broadening our view to include many ancient religions and sun deities we can see that there is much more to it than that, and that they are all informing and in conversation with the Ayden/Dawnfather relationship.

Q: ? A: I think Ayden’s expectation were very unrealistic.That is part of the fun of playing in a tragedy. You have to set yourself up to be emotionally devastated! Yay :’( I think though he hoped that them working together after all these centuries might make a difference. SPOILER it did not.

Q: What was up with Ayden's shield? A: It was given to him/he took it from the knight who brought Ayden from the tribe that found him to Trist’s school. It is a Spellguard Shield which is very good. Also the marking on it is this name in Ogham. Ayden kept taking it and the knight told him it wasn’t his because it didn’t have his name on it. Oops who knew this 6 year old could scratch his own name into a magical shield. Well now its his I guess? Divine children what you gonna do?

Q: When did Ayden decide or realize that it was time to use Sunburst and bring the dawn to Aeor? Had you considered using it at any point before? A: So Ayden regularly would not have had access to it. Once we unlocked Divine Magic it became available. With that surge of divine power stemming from the the wards being destroyed by S.I.L.A.H.A. I felt like there was a moment where Ayden lost much of his agency and the Dawnfather began to exert more direct control. It was very much me looking at 9th level spells and then moving downwards to see what would be a cool spell now that I had access to them.

Q: Brennan mentioned there being mood boards for this game so everyone knew the vibe, did Ayden have one and if so, what was on his? A: He didn’t have an explicit mood board but I did make a playlist. His association with he Everlight made me want to go for sort of an Quaker vibe which is why his clothing is so simple and he never directly attacks someone until the divine magic surges into him and he casts Sunburst. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2cJMThISPIUAfflOiZqi9B

Q: When speaking to Acastriel, you stated "You and I will have words". How were you feeling in that moment? … A: Very disappointed in him! Also I felt like I didn’t even need to deal with him at that moment. We will talk in my divine realm and he will be dealt with there. I felt like sort of ignoring him was honestly more devastating than giving him the time of day after that one line.

Q: If Ayden could talk to the future Exandrians who ill watch the events of Downfall, what would he say to them? A: "I tried."

Q: How does Ayden and the Dawnfather's views differ on their relationship to the other Gods? Particularly in relation to the Everlight and the Lord of the Hells? Does Ayden treat them differently then the Dawnfather would and vice versa? Also, silly side question: How close did Ayden get to punching Father Milo in the face? A: I think they are generally pretty close. I think Ayden is less likely to directly oppose the Betrayer Gods by virtue of him being sent to work with them. The Dawnfather knows better. I think both Ayden and the Dawnfather share a deep love of the Everlight and I think it was both of them talking when I spoke about her being the bravest of us. And very very close hahah, I think he sort of thought the whole priest of the Dawnfather was funny as long as he didn’t think about all he people Father Milo probably poisoned the minds of in his name.

Q: ? A: Dawn has always been important to me so maybe the Dawnfather. I think in a world where divine magic is provable I’d be much more likely to put my faith into a specific place or entity. The Platinum Dragon or the Everlight might be candidates too. I do think though that the Knowing Mistress is cool and honestly in a pantheon I’d probably shout out different gods for different things!

Q: ? A: I think there is some truth to that, though I don’t think Ayden would have been aware of it. Having someone else to care for, but who also reminded her of her real family was enough for the Dawnfather without having Ayden need to be cognizant of it. I really liked the idea of the Dawnfather being concerned with the Everlight the most because she has been so betrayed by the Lord of the Nine Hells and her followers and temples destroyed. They also share a divine realm so it just felt like he needed to look out for his sister. He also knows she is the most likely and also currently has the most potential to just decide to be mortal and forget about her divinity and the Dawnfather doesn’t want to lose her. I’d like to think Trist would have understood but it could have been a pretty powerful moment if she felt like she was being deceived by even him. That would have been heartbreaking.

Q: What rarity of magic items were you allowed to take and how many? A: We were granted 2 magic items. One very rare and one uncommon. For my uncommon I chose a cloak of resistance, a parting gift from the tribe that Ayden could not join. This upped my saves to 11s or 17s and took my AC to 23. For his very rare magic item I took a spellguard shield, inherited from the knight who brought him from the remote tribe to Trist‘s school, giving me advantage on saving throws vs spells and magical effects and inflicting disadvantages on spell effects targeting me. Combine that with resistance to spells from Aura of Warding and that’s a nasty nasty combo v wizards.

Q: You’ve mentioned going back and watching the Dawnfather’s appearances across previous campaigns, which were your favorite moments and what did you focus on from them to inform Ayden? A: I loved that he planted the Sun Tree in White Stone. I really was trying to get the big picture more so than look for moments that stood out. I did keep coming back to the fact that we never see him on the Exandrian side of the Divine Gate and that all his domains are so hands on. I think that really informed Ayden. That and the fact that he shares his divine realm with the Everlight. It just spoke to a Deity that I felt like had more depth that I saw the prevailing opinions about him recognize.

Q: ? A: The Everlight but don’t tell the others even though its pretty obvious. I think canonically least fav is the Chained Oblivion but I’m not even 100% that that is one of our siblings!

Q: ? A: yes I cried after I used sunburst because I fell prey to the allure of power!

Q: What do you think is the biggest difference between Aru the light being and Pelor the god? A: Aru was so much more! and was himself protected the Dawnfather now protects

Q: ? A: I think he knew pretty early actually his early life was in many ways much more divinely evident that his teens

Q: What were Ayden's thoughts to Asmodeus having betrayed them all? A: I belive he was lying about never loving us which is whats so sad! The fact that he betrayed us was dissapointing but unsruprising and I was mad that the Everlight got hurt again

Q: Were the gods always aware of their true selves within their avatars/were they unaware? A: I think Ayden knew from a young age but also had a lof of agency

Q: Is there abook, film, or other piece of media that has informed a lot of your storytelling or the types of stories that you are drawn to?

Q: Love the last Unicorn. Personal faves are ANimated Hobbit, Flight of Dragons, Black Cauldron

#critical role #cr spoilers #cr ayden #cr downfall #the dawnfather #i dont know discord so i couldn't make the questions reload :(

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sobasluuurp · 6 months ago

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Ok. About Tenko.

I understand why so many people are angry that he's dead. I really do. I would've loved for him to live as well. I cried when he died.

However.

Just because he's dead doesn't mean his character has been handled poorly. In fact, all things considered, this ending (even though it makes me real fucking sad) makes the most sense for both his character and his story. Let me explain.

First and foremost, there's the matter of Shigaraki's characterization and arc. It goes without saying, but he's an angry, used, and abused child who grew up into an adult who wants nothing more than for everything to end. His goals have always been destructive to an extreme and honestly, the logical end to "let's destroy it all" is LITERALLY everything, including himself. He's also had absolutely zero agency since the moment his parents even thought of conceiving him, and has been struggling to become his own person since the beginning of his arc. He, against his abuser, who covets immortality and eternity.

What better a way for a person such as himself to assert his agency is there than to go out the way he did? To shift his focus away from the faceless masses and to the (similarly faceless, lol) abuser who caused his pain in the first place? To destroy the control AFO has held over him and prove to him that he was always his own person? To say, this is who you molded me into. And because I am who I am, I will now kill you, and take myself down with you, and be glad for it.

(and in the process, destroy the worldview AFO showed us in the Star and Stripe arc, that the ones who survive are the victors. AFO has completely and eternally lost, but Shigaraki is victorious to his last.)

It's his first moment of complete agency in his life -- acting entirely against anyone else's wishes for himself or his actions. And he uses it to do the one thing he's been itching for his whole life -- to destroy the source of his pain.

It's a negative character arc, in a way. It's not what any of us would've wanted for him. In a perfect world, he would be able to recover and readjust, building a life for himself and his found family in peace. He'd be able to experience life fully for the first time, and see that the world is not so bleak after all.

(I'm choking up just thinking about what's been lost. It's a fucking tragedy.)

But not every character arc gets to end happily. Sometimes people do slip through the cracks. That's always been what Shigaraki's character is about.

....and what every other member of the League's characters have been about.

Because here's the thing. The story of Shigaraki's life and death would be incomplete without his relationship to his found family. He's their leader. Their symbol. Their All Might.

Shigaraki's death is not the grimdark, fuck-the-audience, senseless kind of tragedy. He is a martyr, yes, but the people he stood for will in all likelihood survive. He died for the League. His life -- his existence -- brought them together, gave them purpose, and showed them a bright future. It is my steadfast belief that he will be the only death among the main villains. Because this is a story about saving to win, after all. And given that My Hero doesn't like to kill characters off too often and each one of them still has a path to recovery, I think it's a safe assumption to make. Especially since (especially in Toya's and Toga's cases) each of them had a moment of reconciliation at the end of their fights -- the kind of thing that can help them move forward.

And to be honest, we've known for a very, very long time that BNHA is the kind of anime that likes to turn old cliches on their heads. Kacchan did not become a villain during Kamino. La Brava's literal power of love was not enough to win the battle. Deku fought tirelessly to talk-no-jutsu Shigaraki into redemption, and while he did get through to him, he still couldn't save him after everything that happened. It's nuanced and messy in a way that I've come to expect from BNHA.

So yea, Shigaraki died. But Shigaraki also lived. Despite everything that AFO and Kotoro wanted from him (despite the fact that he was never meant to really be alive in the first place), he lived on his own terms and fought so that the people he cared about would be seen. Because he lived, the old world was destroyed, and from his ashes, a better one can be built. He achieved everything that no one thought he could, and reclaimed his life in the process. What better ending could you ask for a tragic character?

#bnha manga spoilers #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #shigaraki tomura #midoriya izuku #deku #all for one #shimura tenko #bnha #bnha 424 #league of villains #lov

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sitp-recs · 7 months ago

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Hello heart ! I love your rescs and was thinking of ordering something! Currently I have already finished reading your 4 voolumenes (possibly have a session for this couple) the fact is that I am looking for something specific. I adore dramatic declrations! I was wondering if you had any fanfic in mind with anything related! I love it when Darry surprises everyone! It also works if they are declarations of marriage or even declarations of change of sides in the war! Anything drarry that surprises the world!

Hello hello! Oh that’s a really interesting ask, I love that concept! I have a reclist for dramatic love confessions here, but I think you might also enjoy these fics. This reclist clearly got a bit out of hand (as per lol) so I’ve shortened the summaries to keep it clean, hope that’s ok!

I, Ferret by curiouslyfic (T, 2k)

Draco's embraced his inner Ferret. Now it's Harry's turn. Starring Veela!Draco, mpreg, an old wives' tale, and a Weddiwizard.

Game On by @pennygalleon (T, 5k)

Draco blows Harry a kiss and the press goes nuts. Harry suggests they use this to their advantage.

(Un)Calculated Risk by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (E, 7k)

He thought about the way Harry looked at him, smiled at him; about the way Draco’s head was nearly always full of him, all day every day, and about the way Draco sometimes deliberately went to bed still smelling of him, refusing to acknowledge what it meant.

Gravity Centered by carpemermaid (E, 7k)

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are two of the best flyers in the International Professional Broom Racing League.

Silence series by RurouniHime (E, 10k)

It was his battle, yet he never hurt me, and he could have.

A Song, Incomplete by RurouniHime (E, 11k)

Draco’s photograph took up the entire top half of the Prophet’s front page. Below the photo: DRACO MALFOY DEFENDS SON OF FORMER LOVER. As if that were breaking news.

I'll never be your chosen one by @andithiel (E, 15k)

Draco doesn't know what exactly he’s doing with Potter, he doesn't know how their unspoken agreement even started, and doesn't know where it will end. The only thing he knows is: he's not in love.

Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon by @the-starryknight (M, 16k)

Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person.

Reparatio by astolat (E, 17k)

Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”

Touch Me Fall by @lqtraintracks (E, 23k)

Malfoy was such a ponce. And he was a complete snob. And he was so fucking fit Harry wanted to jump him where he sat. It would be too easy to forget his objective tonight: to really, really, really get Malfoy out of his system.

Expecto Patronum by @writcraft (E, 35k)

As Draco Malfoy negotiates his feelings for the wizarding world's brightest star, he becomes increasingly attached to Harry and unravels the secrets he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.

The Wand Slipped by @unmistakablyoatmeal (E, 35k)

After a messy, public divorce and a disgraceful exit from the Auror Department, Harry is trying to rebuild his life as a private investigator.

Rush (For A Gap That Exists) by @sleepstxtic (E, 42k)

A story of love and loss that grew amidst the most infamous rivalry in Formula One history: the story of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.

The Greatest Game by @sleepstxtic (E, 45k)

The Greatest Game is something more. The drama, the tension, the narrative that the other games lack. There is a story here. Two rivals with a history spanning years; the oldest, most illustrious prize to be won.

Knockturn Soulmates series by @xanthippe74 (M, 60k)

Fate brought them together. Now the real work begins, as Harry and Draco try to merge their starkly different lives without being torn away from everything they hold dear.

The Compact by astolat (E, 64k)

Hermione frowned. “The real question is why the magic of Britain would be failing now, in fact.”. “That is not the real question!” Ron said loudly. “The real question is, how do we fix it?”

A Thousand Beautiful Things by geoviki (M, 104k)

Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.

Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

When Times are Dire by @aibidil (E, 130k)

Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 139k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

Things Worth Knowing by Femme and noeon (E, 164k)

After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #love confessions #Drarry surprising the world

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fandomfluffandfuck · 11 months ago

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I'm thinking about the progression of Bucky's memory journals (and so you all are going to have to suffer with me through these thoughts, too, because Pain)

I imagine the very first few journals Bucky gets his hands on--compelled to write by the desperate urge to cling to any of the memories, false or true, that crash into his head and shatter moments, leaving him chasing the fragments slipping through his hands like gains of sand--are incoherent. A word or two strung together. No sentences. Short. Choppy.

In these first journals, these single words are sometimes written so tiny, it's near impossible to discern what the word is. It may just be a charged scribble, not a word. Then, other times, the words are scrawled so large, across an entire page, even two pages, that despite the messy print caused by his shaking hands, it's clear what it reads. Ink may pool on the page, making the letters thick and pressed deep into the page, tearing through. Or the words may be light, as if he was afraid to write the word and give it existence. What would it make him if it's true? What will it do to him, though, if it remains in his head? Words come in English and Russian and words from languages he doesn't recognize.

As he sorts through and regains more memories, his entries stretch longer. He keeps tearing through journals. He has stacks of them. Entries become less single words, disjointed and incomplete, and more sentences. A few chucked together. Still clunky and confusing, but more.

Then, further, they stretch into paragraphs.

Paragraphs into pages.

Pages into hours and hours of nonstop writing until the serum can't even mend the ache in his shaking fingers. He can't see the page anymore, at that point. The memories are so vividly smeared across his vision, chopped together like reels of different films cut and taped together.

Suddenly, when he reads his entries back, the longer memories string together awkwardly but underscored by a relatively constant tone. He's scrambling his voice back together. Written, but still his voice.

The longer Bucky has his journals--stacks of them, they're hidden everywhere, always with at least one blank one on his person--and the longer he goes unpunished for admitting his remembrance, the more he spills. His honesty with himself grows, spreading until he's able to reach back and tug and pull and unravel memories that would've repulsed him in the beginning. He wouldn't've been able to admit it to himself, not even in the privacy of his journals, but now he can. He's learning about himself again. He's learning to be comfortable with himself again.

#and just when he's sure it will be impossible for anyone to trust him or want to know him or be comfortable around him once they've seen the #inside of his scrambled brain through the pages of his journals...#steve finds him #steve opens his journal and reads and doesn’t cower #he steps closer #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #fandomfluffandfuck

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realbeefman · 1 year ago

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Do you have any good house fic recs? I am Struggling with my search.

for sure! although Disclaimer, i havent been reading house fanfic for very long and ive pretty much only read house/wilson so far, SO this is more of a hilson fic rec list than anything lol

Warning Signs by out_there - oneshot, 12k words, Wilson-POV, set around the end of s3. SUCH A GOOD FIC i laughed so much while reading this. genuinely delightful. possibly my fav house fic i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium - oneshot, 12k, Wilson-POV, set after s3 e15. THEEE classic fake-dating AU. this was the first fic i read in this fandom and it absolutely fucks. im a SAP i love a good “no homo but OH GOD THE FEELINGS” plot!!

Desert Mesa Motel - 8 miles outside of Kingman, Arizona - 12:03 AM by plorp - ficlet, 1k, House-POV, post-canon. this makes me BAWL. very very good fic but SAD. and DEPRESSING. will make you CRY/pos

How Not To Be Boring by fourleggedfish - incomplete/abandoned, 497k, Wilson-POV, AU from around mid-s5. if u like whump (which i absolutely do) u will probably like this fic. if u are squicked out by sex, u will hate it bc these guys bang 24/7. this fic had me pacing, glued to my phone, sick to my stomach, crying (several times), and obliterated my sleep schedule. i can’t rec it highly enough. every chapters includes appropriate content warnings, but some major themes that appear throughout are character death (not of main characters), the aftermath of severe child abuse, and mental illness. if any of these topics are a trigger for you, please don’t read this work.

Forsake Me Here by MonsterBoyf - complete, 8k, Wilson-POV, ambiguous setting. Wilson has intrusive thoughts about mutilating House. He tries to cope. features a lot of very graphic imagery and does an excellent but extremely accurate job of portraying an OCD-spiral that could be triggering to people. i LOVE this fic i think about it so so much.

An Inconvenient Truth by anathaema - complete, 15k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. contains the quote “You’re the suicide bomber of revelations” and is one of the funniest things i’ve ever read. plus the way in which wilson’s sexuality in this fic is handled is honestly so realistic and entertaining. HIGHLY recc this to absolutely everyone who enjoys hilson

the more it took away by scribespirare - oneshot, 10k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. Omega!House has his first heat since presenting. Alpha!Wilson helps him through it. I LOVE OMEGAVERSE AND I LOVE FUCK OR DIE AND I LOVE THE WAY THIS FIC HANDLES THIS IS JUST GRAHHHH. If u don’t enjoy omegaverse u won’t like this but i can’t make a house fic rec list and NOT include this one

Aftershocks by black_cigarette - series, around 125k in total, various POV’s, set sometime post-Tritter arc. this fic IS gen, but honestly, i didn’t know that going in and didn’t realize it wasn’t a slash fic until the very end. tldr is that wilson is brutally assaulted because house has been gambling with some unsavory people, and house helps him deal with the aftermath. this fic does not pull punches. its is extremely graphic and everything wilson goes through is described in detail. it is a messy story about recovering from brutal trauma and everything that entails. DISCLAIMER: there are sequel(s) to this series available on the author’s livejournal, but i haven’t read them and can’t speak to anything they discuss.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare - complete, 25k, House-POV, set sometime in the early seasons. House lies about having a Jewish boyfriend to get out of visiting his mother at Christmas. Things quickly get out of hand. THIS FIC IS SOOO *tears into it with my teeth*. I love when they scheme together <3

#ty for the ask!!! had a lot of fun thinking abt which fics i enjoyed the most/stuck with me the hardest #tried to provide tws for everything but if i missed anything plss call me out #house md #hilson #housefic #house md fic recs #hilson fic recs

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robd-if · 9 months ago

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✭ Rhapsody of Broken Dreams ✭

You were going to be rock stars!

And then suddenly you weren't.

That was four years ago, and since then things have not gone as you expected, as you said they would when you started the band with your friends in college, eyes full of hope and head filled with dreams. You're not sure how it all turned this way, how you ended up with a boring desk job of all things and a mortgage. But life was funny like that sometimes.

Still, you’re missing something, a part of you incomplete.

But when a chance encounter with a band desperately looking for a replacement gives you a second shot at stardom, will you take it?

Highly inspired by INFAMOUS IF. Go read this masterpiece!!

✭ Customise your MC - general appearance, gender (he/she/they), personality and vaguely age (anywhere between around 25 and 35 though it will always be in comparison the other characters and not a fixed number).

✭ Choose between being the new vocalist, guitarist, bassist or drummer.

✭ Help your new rock band win America’s S Factor and keep the morale up.

✭ Survive allegations, injuries, blackmail and the stress of stardom while cameras follow you everywhere.

✭ Choose how you want the public to perceive you, a pacifist or a troublemaker.

✭ Go full Pam & Tommy and have your sex tape leaked (accidentally and optionally).

✭Was stardom all you ever thought it would be?

You can't change MC's past a lot - MC finished an unnamed college, got a good-ish unspecified desk job and has a mortgage on a studio apartment in NYC.

MC has a good relationship with parents, I AM SORRY!

Trigger warnings: This story will be rated 18+...++ for sexual themes/content, alcohol and drug consumption, violence, strong language, suicidal thoughts (not MC's).

This is a romance story firsts! There will be some friendly platonic options here and there, but you'll be forced to lock in a romance around chapter 5 (out out 10). It will be a fairly short story, pretty fast paced and generally nsfw-ish, taking place over only 6 months, from slightly before the auditions in June up to the grand Finale in December.

All the things you should expect to come with being in a rock band, thrusted into the spotlight and tasting fame.

River Jones - (M/F) customizable-ish, same age as MC

Your ex best friend that you started your old band with. They did not take well the dismantling of the band and moved across the country without a word. Four years later, will you be able to rekindle the relationship that was once there? Or will the competition between your bands ruin any chance for it?

You can customise River’s general appearance (height -short/average/tall-, body type - lean/muscular/voluptuous -, skin, eye and natural hair colour) and gender (male or female). Otherwise, they are your former college classmate, turned best friend (optionally turned lover or who you harboured a crush on). They keep their hair short and spiky, a reminder of their mohawk days, and usually dye it in some unusual colour, vibrant green, blue or pink. They like to hide behind an assortment of oddly paired and always too large clothes.

River is a talented musician, being both a song writer, vocalist and playing the keys and guitar. They are classically trained to play the cello, though it’s not something widely known. They are currently the keyboard player and backing vocalist of Vicious Lovely.

Alex “Silvertongue” Arisaka - M - 1,95cm / 6′ 5″ - 38yo

One of the judges and your eventual mentor on the show. He’s one of the biggest rock stars of his generation, a typical troublemaker that comes with the territory of his profession. Or is he? Going through a messy divorce from his highschool sweetheart and mother of his child, will he be able to resist the gruelling months of filming for the show?

Alex is half Japanese and half Dutch. Tall and broad shouldered he seems to fill the room with both his presence and his stature. He keeps his long black hair in some type of messy bun, that’s always on the brink of untying. He is covered in weird tattoos in black and red, depicting various Japanese monsters. He was discovered when he was still in highschool and has been in the spotlight ever since.

Alex is the vocalist of the famous rock band Samurai and father to a 17 year old daughter that seems to hate him.

Morgan Williams - M/F - 1,80/1,70cm/ 5′ 11″/5′ 7″ - 2 years older or younger than MC

Initially a stranger you meet at the bar (or not), they turn out to be the drummer of the band you are in direct competition with. Intimidating at first, covered in dark leather, piercings and chains, they are a charmer at heart and real sweetheart with their heart on their sleeve. You can see why they have become close friends with River over the years.

Morgan has dark skinned and warm brown eyes. They are lean and fairly tall, and keep their hair in shoulder length box braids, usually decorated with a few silver loops. They prefer dark clothes and are never missing a chain or two on their belt loops. Piercings? Yes, they challenge you to discover all of them.

Morgan is the drummer of Vicious Lovely and usually the pacemaker of the group.

Hazel Sloane King - F - 1,60cm/ 5′ 3″ - 25yo

Assistant producer and former host of the show, she is, in her own father’s words ‘an angry old man in the body of a petite woman’. Heads turn when she walks by, but she needs none of that. She’s all work and no play… unless it’s her rare day off.

Hazel is short and lean, her figure a perfect hourglass. She has luscious copper hair and vibrant green eyes, but it’s the mischievous smile that gives her an air of mystery. She’s always dressed to impress on set, not a hair out of place, in an assortment of expensive looking pantsuits and dresses.

Hazel was born into the industry and will become a full time producer like her daddy even if it kills her. Scratch that. Even if she needs to kill her way through. You better not throw a wrench in her plans!

Levi "Leviathan" Lawson - M/F - 1,90cm/ 6′ 3″ - 2 years older or younger than MC (same age as Morgan as they were classmates)

Vicious Lovely singer and de facto leader of the band. And the bane of your existence. When you first meet Levi you think they look like an angel, with an innocent baby face and charming smile. They also have the voice to back it up. You’ve never seen anyone do a 180 so fast though.

Levi has pale ivory skin and light blue eyes that look almost grey. They have luscious curly blonde hair, male Levi keeping it ear level short and female Levi letting it grow past her shoulders. They are tall, with male Levi being more athletic and female more Levi curvy. They have sharpened their canines for a more menacing look, but otherwise, their body is piercing and tattoo free. They wear eccentric outfits for their performances, but you often see them in sweatpants and a T-shirt when the cameras are not rolling. Wears glasses in their off time, contacts when on stage.

Levi is confusing and manipulative and will sacrifice anyone in the name of winning the show. Even you, darling. Don’t fool yourself.

Kai Vela - M/F - 2,06cm/ 6′ 9″ - 34

Kai is an ex-military who was honourably discharged after suffering an injury. They worked various jobs in the private security industry until they ended up as a regular bodyguard on America’s S Factor. Despite their status as a civilian, their good looks and stoic personality generated quite the fandom, with various blogs and even fanfiction written about them.

Kai is tall and muscular, with tan skin and wavy dark brown hair that barely touches their shoulders. They have hooded slightly downturned brown eyes that look stuck somewhere between bored and menacing. As per their contract, they have to wear a suit when filming, but they find it all kinds of inappropriate for the job, usually preferring black cargo pants, T-shirts and boots.

Kai is the silent and brooding type and has a no-bullshit approach to life. They enjoy being a bodyguard and the pay is definitely a bonus, but they are weirded out by the cult like following some stars have.

Bonus RO -> romanceable for female MC only, with a more choice restricted route. Read more about it here.

Seth - M - 1,85cm/ 6′ 1″ - 32yo

Born Sebastian Shaw, Seth is one of your new bandmates, who is going through a messy breakup with the band member you are replacing. He has the boyish charm of the rocker next door, always soft spoken and polite despite his dishevelled hair, leather jackets and distressed jeans. He is a rule follower to the very bone, but you sometimes wonder if there’s really no darker side of him.

Seth has lightly tanned olive skin, wavy dark brown hair styled in an undercut and piercing blue eyes. He is tall and athletic, “his body a temple” and other similar quotes that earn him a laugh from his friends. He loves his bike and will take any excuse to ride around town.

Seth is the guitarist/ vocalist of your new band, but lately he’s been thinking the spotlight is not for him.

✭Other notable characters✭

Jude - MC's current bff (she/he/they).

Zain - Seth’s brother and your band’s drummer/ vocalist (and Jude’s future husband, probably).

Dannika Brown - your new band’s bassist/ vocalist.

Mr. King - Hazel's father and the owner and producer of the show.

✭DEMO coming soon

#Rhapsody of Broken Dreams #RoBD #RoBD-IF #twine if #interactive fiction

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saksukei · 1 year ago

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ushijima love letters au

masterlist | suna love letters au

you laughed as you read the crinkled letter with messy writing, in your hands,, how long had it been? eight or nine years? time had gone by so quickly,,,

you distinctly remember the first time you ever received ushijima’s cute little notes.

you had come back from the chemistry lab,, and found a piece of paper on your desk saying “i hope you had breakfast.”

assuming that it was a silly prank, you just tossed the little note alongside some papers in the depths of your school bag,,,

till you received another one the next day,, saying “morning runs are healthy. so maybe go on one sometime?”

and you were like (─.─||) is this person trying to say that I've put on weight??!!! DO THEY KNOW IM HUMAN AND ITS NORMAL TO PUT ON WEIGHT

you threw the note in your bag again

and then, the same happened the next day

except this note said,,, “sorry about the last chit. my friend told me I sounded rude. how was your day?”

you were like ??? can this person not make their mind up??? hello??

and so you kept on receiving them,, they ranged from “hope you did your math homework” to “carry a spare water bottle” to “stay safe when going back home”

and you got so used to receiving these notes that your day sort of felt incomplete without them,,, and you thought that you wanted to find the culprit behind them

and so,, you hid behind your class door,, to check who would come in to leave the little notes on your desk,,,

someone did come into class and it was not the person you expected. it was tendou. you figured you should confront him, it was now or never.

“so you're the one that's been sending me chits?!” you ask, and tendou jumps, not expecting you to be there.

“uhh–” he trails off, scratching the back of his head.

“sorry, I don't mean to put you in an awkward spot but I wanted to thank you for–”

“it’s not me, I'm only the messenger,” tendou interrupts. “he’s going to kill me if I tell you this–but it's ushijima,” tendou explains. “he likes you but he doesn't know how to say it so I suggested this way would be more better.”

and you were like (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

“yOU MEAN USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM CAPTAIN AND ACE LIKES ME????”

“sheesh no need to yell,” tendou retorted,,

“sorry, force of habit,” you smile sheepishly. “is there any chance you could get me to talk to ushijima?”

“as long as you don't reject him too harshly–then yes.”

tendou leads you to the captain who is practicing his spikes in the gym.

ushijima stares blankly when he sees you entering, despite his heart going fifty miles per hour. why were you here? you never visited the gymnasium.

he had in fact first seen you in his math class when you sat near the window and he was sitting behind you, watching you draw doodles on your textbook. eventually, it became a routine, where he'd chuckle at your little drawings of your math teacher.

he started looking for you during lunch hour, just having your presence around was enough for him. he never found it within himself to have the courage to talk to you. you were so nice, so kind and so out of his league.

it wasn't until tendou suggested this little idea that ushijima thought he might finally get to interact with you.

“hi, ushijima can I talk to you?” you ask, shyly and tendou nudges ushijima towards you, who manages to stutter out “yes you may,” following you outside.

“i saw tendou leaving the small chit on my desk,” you confess, and while ushijima has never been hit by a volleyball on the face, he sure feels like it would hurt less.

“i–i don't mean to embarrass you or anything!” you clear out, witnessing his spiral. “i wanted to say thank you, the notes were really sweet. And I was actually wondering if you'd like to go out on a date.”

youve never seen such a stoic man get red so fast. “i’d like that a lot yes.”

and while it's been years since school ended and you two have been together forever, he still leaves you the cutest notes.

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu!!#ushijima scenarios #ushijima wakatoshi imagines #ushijima x reader #ushijima headcanons #ushijima hcs #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #ushijima x y/n

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basicallyjaywalker · 2 months ago

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All I Know

Good evening everyone, the time has finally arrived

@someloserinajaywig for you I present, the final fictravaganza fic: Zane angst. Zangst, if you will. I will admit this is not the best bc i'm not super familiar with writing a Zane POV BUT. I hope it is an enjoyable read regardless

Also, I didn't know if you had an AO3 handle but if you do and would like to have the fic gifted to you, lmk!

Prompt: Zane, The Run and Go by Twenty-One Pilots, and temporary amnesia

AO3 Link

Fic under the cut as well!

His throne was a glacier, built with his own powers, his energy, his essence.

His throne room was the frozen ocean, vast and inhospitable. The only living beings that dared pass through were himself, his advisor, and the guards that made their rounds. Their punctuality was the only way he kept time anymore.

His empire was barren, overtaken by the ice. His ice. His subjects either learned to cope or succumbed to it. Their preserved bodies littered the tundra, a warning spread through whispers amongst the people.

He was an emperor. A symbol of might, of terror, of strength. He was an iceberg. He was an all-consuming blizzard.

He dreamed.

He hated his dreams. He was always in a vast forest. There was always a snowstorm swirling, obscuring his vision. The air was always crisp, and if he focused he could catch something between sickly sweetness and earthiness clinging to the world around him. He was always acutely aware of the absence of something, though exactly what eluded him. He simply always knew there was always an emptiness within the world.

Sometimes there were beasts with long limbs and hollow eye sockets, but they did not disturb him. They simply passed by, their towering bodies stretching up into the gray sky.

Sometimes there was someone with him.

A man with messy hair, white like fresh snow, dressed in the same color. He wore something over his eyes. The emperor felt he knew what they were called, once, but that couldn’t be true. Nothing like them existed in his empire.

Whenever he saw the man, the emperor would just watch him as he went about menial tasks. The man spoke, but the emperor couldn’t hear him, as if wind was constantly rushing right past his ears and drowning everything out.

The emperor awoke from these dreams agitated. He tried to get his advisor to tell him who the man was, but he insisted he had never seen nor heard of him before.

“A figment of imagination, your eminence. Do not let it trouble you.”

And so he did not. His advisor was always right. He had rescued the emperor from certain death after being ousted by the traitor. He restored his throne. He reclaimed his throne room. He returned the emperor to his glory.

---

Zane still had those dreams, even after his return.

They weren’t uncommon before his tenure as the Ice Emperor. He often dreamed of his father and him wandering the Birchtree Forest where they lived. However, something felt wrong about the dreams he had during and after his time in the Never-Realm. He couldn’t explain it. It was like watching a different cut of a film he’d seen a million times before. There were details missing, but he couldn’t remember them.

He tried to reach into his memory banks for them, but was met with nothing. The previous version of his dreams didn’t exist anymore. All that existed was the incomplete, glitched version.

Every time he woke up from that dream afterwards, his face was wet. He hated it. He missed something that seemed to have never existed. More than that, he knew, he hated that he felt like it was his fault for forgetting. His own memories were obscured by a horrific episode of megalomania in which he had no choice. At least, that’s what the others said. Truth be told, Zane tried very hard not to dwell on the thought too much. He wanted to imagine he was forced into that role by the manipulation of Vex, but it was fifty years. He was a conqueror, a destroyer, for fifty years, and never thought anything of it? He’d crushed dissent at Vex’s suggestion, but it was still him who brought the hammer down. He froze the changelings because he was worried they would usurp him. Did it matter that Vex told him a lie and he believed it? Would it have been different if they did want to usurp him, destroy him?

Perhaps that was why he tried not to delve too deep into his memories of that time. They remained only because he couldn’t wipe them without wiping everything else about himself, but sometimes he wished he could. Originally, his father built him with his memory switch to provide that fresh start, to allow him to forget inconvenient histories like his father’s death and their life prior. He built it to protect Zane from pain. He must’ve believed it was worth the cost, since he refused to remove it despite Zane’s request upon their reunion. At the time Zane believed it wasn’t worth it to avoid the pain if he had to forget all the good that came before, but sometimes, in the dark and cold nights where he couldn’t sleep because of the visions of Ice Samurai and innocents encased in bergs that plagued him, he wondered if his father was right.

Then he would remind himself of his friends. He thought of Pixal and her warm smile, Jay and his neverending bad puns, Kai and his fierce loyalty, Cole and his firm reassurance, Nya and her cunning wit, Lloyd and his unconditional love, and Master Wu’s constant support and guidance. He thought of them and he knew he could never forget. Even if he could build a new life with them, flip the switch, remove it, then make up some grand lie about what happened, those memories were irreplaceable.

The unfortunate consequence of wanting to remember his friends meant he had to remember every time he failed.

He had to remember finding Pixal disassembled in the labyrinth beneath Chen’s Island.

He had to remember when Cole fell off the Bounty and into the uncertain shadows of the Oni invasion.

He had to remember Lloyd’s face as he begged, pleaded with Zane to remember who he was.

Every time he failed and someone got hurt. Maybe that was another reason he couldn’t just forget and start over. They couldn’t just reset. They still had to live with the consequences.

So Zane would lay there in the morning, face wet with tears. If he was unable to forget, how come he couldn’t remember? His father’s voice and the look and feeling of his home when he was young were fading. What was the point of having a computer for a brain if it just lost memories like a normal brain?!

Then one night, he ended up in that place again. His home.

Tall birchwoods towered into the cloud-speckled sky. Small rays of sunshine peeked through gray clouds, turning patches of snow on the ground into clouds themselves. Dr. Julien sat on one of these patches, with Zane beside him, shaded by the skyward stretching trunk of a tree. He could hear animals going about their lives around them. Squirrels scuttled through trees, cardinals flew through the air, and even a few bees came up and settled on the sparse greenery around them.

Zane heaved out a single word. “Father.”

“Hello, Zane, isn’t it such a pleasant morning?”

“Father, it’s been so long.”

The doctor tilted his head. “What do you mean? I only left you and Falcon alone for a moment.”

“No, it’s that… Never mind. I simply missed you.”

“Well, that is sweet of you. I’m glad you decided to join me. Spring is almost here, you know. It’s always nice when a bit of life returns to this place. The primrose will be blooming soon.”

“Yes…” Zane took a deep breath. “Father?”

“Yes, Zane?”

“May I ask you something peculiar?”

“Of course, son. What’s on your inquisitive mind today?”

“What should I do if I ever start to forget things?”

He paused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean if years go by and I forget days like this, where we both sat together and talked? What if one day I forget your voice or your face? What if one day I forget… you?”

“Well… that won’t happen for quite a few more years. Why does it worry you now?”

“I’m simply curious.”

Dr. Julien hummed. He pulled his glasses off and painstakingly cleaned the lenses. Zane locked onto his every motion, inscribing it into the artificial synapses of his mind. If he knew how to in the dream, he would motion capture the process so that he could recreate it.

“I suppose it’s something we all have to deal with. Our brains can only hold so much information. There are days I find myself slowly forgetting the details of my friends' faces, the voices of those I loved…”

“So what do you do?”

He shrugged. “There is nothing you can do. You can swear to yourself you will never forget, that you will commit every minutiae to memory, you will remember a person or place or story over and over until one day it’s simply… gone. I suppose that’s why they invented photographs. You can never forget if it’s preserved, but even those will fade over time, or you can forget the when and why and who of their taking. There are photos in my scrapbook of people I know I once knew, but whose names I can no longer recall… Zane? Are you alright?” Julien reached over, turning his son’s face and seeing the fresh trails coasting down his cheeks. He wiped them with the sleeve of his white overcoat. “I’m sorry, son. I didn’t mean to upset you. I believe I must’ve gotten too wrapped up in my own melancholy.”

“I don’t want to forget you, father. Never.”

“Zane…” Dr. Julien shook his head, his deep brown eyes full of softness. “One day, you will, and it will be okay. You may forget the details of my appearance, or all of our memories together, but you will always remember who I was to you. You will always remember your father.”

Despite the fresh tears still replacing the old ones on his face, Zane nodded. “You will always be a part of me.”

“Yes, I will, son.”

Zane woke up, the wetness of his face following him to consciousness. He sat up, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his pajamas. From the half-closed blinds, a beam of golden morning light shone directly on his bed.

“I will never forget, father.”

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lgbtlunaverse · 1 year ago

Text

POV switches in chapter 108

This is generally me trying to figure out which parts of the novel are from wei wuxian's limited perspective and which ones are omniscient, as they switch pretty frequently and without warning. And also specifcally because @darkfalcon-z asked in a reply to a post I made earlier today!

Obvious disclaimer that this meta looks pretty closely into specific wording, and that my source remains a translation. I haven't read the original text and so can't attest to my accuracy there.

So MDZS gets real messy with its narration. It obviously starts in omniscient with celebrating Wei Wuxian's death, but spends a lot of its time in limited, most exemplary shown by the enduring obliviousness wei wuxians has towards lan wangji's feelings never being explicitly undercut by the narration.

The novel... does NOT telepgraph when it switches povs. Moreover, wei wuxian does sometimes make confident statement about how other characters feel. Prime example being him talking about how jiang cheng would react to finding out about his core

This being, notably... NOT what Jiang Cheng's actual reaction is when he does find out. That's because wwx is working with incomplete information here, he didn't know Jiang Cheng was willing to lose his core for him to begin with.

Also, he afformentioned obliviousness to Lan Wangji leading to him, multiple times, attributing the wrong motivations to lan wangji's actions.

The novel doesn't outright say "wei wuxian assumed/ thought that jiang cheng would react like that" in the screenshot above, but it DOES clearly show, by leading with him thinking about why he thought he coudn't tell jiang cheng about the golden core transfer, that we're in his head at the moment. And so the following statements are also his thoughts, not omniscient narrations. The difference is very subtle. But it's there

So we're in chapter 108. right before Lan Xichen stabs Jin Guangyao, an we're clearly in omniscient.

Lan Xichen's feelings are stated plainly and there's not very much focus on Wei wuxian at all. It switches over briefly to him and lwj checking up on Wen Ning but his feelings are not overriding everything else.

Then the stab happens

We're still in omniscient here. "Lan xichen felt his heart go cold" a detail Wei Wuxian couldn't know, stated plainly as a matter of fact.

However.

I think this part

Is where we retreat from omniscient back into wei wuxian's pov. We're not told anything about either of these character's inner worlds, but do get some extra litte commentary that jgy was so slow that even Jin Ling could catch him with his eyes closed! That's not something either Lan Xichen or jgy would be thinking of right now. It is, however, a comment Wei Wuxian's inner monologue might think to make.

In the context of my earlier post, which this was inspired by. It also makes some assumptions. Namely, that Xichen is just going after jgy to catch him. It doesn't explicitly say so, because we're not in omniscient anymore but it's clear Wei Wuxian thinks so as he'll feel the need to warn him in a few seconds. This is interesting, as it directly contradicts a popular fan interpretation of this scene, that's become explicitly canonized in multipe adaptations, which is that Lan Xichen is intentionally going along with and is willing to die with him. I'm not saying this theory is correct based on its popularity alone, obviously. I was actually surprised to find out it was so vague when I read the novel considering its popularity!

By the next chapter we'll be unambiguously back into wei uxian's head, and after "Lan Xichen could no longer persuade himself to silence him again" which is in the paragraph before the one in the image above, we are no longer told any other character's feelings or inner thoughts except for Wei Wuxian's. Specifically, this:

So this describes wei wuxian realizing a "something" what something? well, this something.

Again, the difference is subtle. The statement of "He was fighting with his last breath to lead Lan Xichen towards Nie Mingjue, so they could die together!" might seem like another one of those "other charcters' feelings" statements. But we're not IN Jin Guangyao's head right now. This is describing actions, not thoughts. He's not trying to get away (a visible action wwx would be privy to) which must be because...see statement above.

And all of this is framed under the banner of Wei Wuxian saying he realized something, and that being that Jin Guangyao isn't trying to get away and Lan Xichen needs to get away from him because... see statement above. This line basically starts as a repitition of what Wei Wuxian said, repeating his assumption, and then clarifying what Wei Wuxian DOES think is happening. The whole paragraph between is just buildup for the payoff of what that "something" of the realization is. MXTX could have writtern "wei wuxian, however, realized something. Jin Guangyao wasn't trying to get away! Instead he was trying to lead Lan Xichen towards Nie Mingjue so they could die together" and them describe the scenario, it'd be functionally the same in the manner of what information was conveyed, but the little gap in setup and payoff increases suspense and makes the reveal more engaging. It's a good little writing trick!

That wording above does make it way more obvious that that statement? Is one of wei wuxian's. That's what HE thinks.

In the line where jgy pushes lan xichen away, we're still not privy to their feelings or thoughts at all.

But we do get this curious litle "yet,"

That means this is a subversion, something that goes against what was previously established. Namely, that jin guangyao would want lan xichen to get caught by nie mingjue. The actual reality of the situaton conrasts hat we were told earlier. it's a surprise. to who? Well, to all the other characters watching this go down. wwx among them. We get other little commentaries, like how the sight of jgy being choked by nmj is frightening, placing us even further away from his inner world and into the shoes of someone watching him in the temple.

The style being used here is similar to the one in the next chapter, when nie huasang's plan is unveiled. First you get bit of dialogue with clear implications from Wei Wuxian, and then we go into wei wxuxian's head. In a few lines it's explicitly established that he's questioning things, and we are following his line of thought. And then a whle account of nie huasang's plan is given. With no further affirmation that we're still in wei wuxian's head. That's based on context clues given prior. Is this recount of the plan correct? Most likely, yeah! But we're never expicitly told. We are still in wei wuxian's head.

This bit on Jin Guangyao is similar. From the removal of stating other character's feelings (a possible exception might be the statement that "Nie Mingjue is not afraid of spiritual weapons" but that is something observable to wwx who's been seeing nmj not give a shit for a good few minutes now. We get nothing he's not privy to) and a clear indication that we're inside his head now. What we get next is his reocunt of the events, and they're fairly factul as he simply tells us what he sees, but when he gets into the reasons for why things ar ehappening? Well, if we wanted to, we could doubt that.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #god perspective in this novel is EXHAUSTING #every writing advice blog and course i've ever seen is like DON'T SWITCH POVS MID SCENE IT'S CONFUSING #and mxtx took that as a personal challenge #narrator so unreliable you don't even know who's narrating half the time #apologies for not including alt text! it's midnight here and the site i'm using to get these screenshots doesn't allow me to copy-paste!#i'll add id tomorrow morning

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quirkle2 · 6 months ago

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love your mogami arc thoughts… do you think there’s a parallel between the irrationality of mogami’s actions and how ritsu acts in big cleanup arc? Like neither of them make sense really but it doesn’t have to because it’s an expression of deep seated stress and guilt

[context]

it took a couple of watches for me to actually Get cleanup arc, but i do think clean up arc makes sense. maybe not from a logical point of view, but given ritsu's history of trauma and perfectionism, pressure to never act out or upset his brother for obvious reasons, and desperation for control in his own life, i think ritsu's actions made sense. they were Terrible actions, and they definitely go against the logic and hindsight of an outsider's perspective, but it was all the result of that stress and guilt and secretive hatred toward an aspect of his brother that caused it, and maybe a little bit of grief for a sibling relationship he wishes was still intact

u make a rly interesting point tho, bc Yeah, on your first watch, neither of these guys make sense to you. at least they didn't for me. i understood part of ritsu's reasonings at the beginning, but it sorta delved into... quoting ritsu, "violence for the sake of violence." and honestly??? i don't know Why ritsu's arc is sm more compelling to me than mogami's, bc rly, they're very similar in that way

at least it seems that way? im,,, honestly convinced the exposition for mogami arc was just,, rushed, or incomplete for whatever reason, bc it feels So Close to making sense, but it's just missing a couple of pieces. ritsu's arc has more substance to it, i think. i believe the biggest difference here is that mogami blamed other people for his misfortune, and didn't see anything wrong w what he was doing. ritsu made no such excuses. he Knew what he was doing was wrong, and he kept doing it. and that, to me, is Fascinating

even ritsu's "violence for the sake of violence" motive makes some sort of sense to me. he said it himself: "i was just tired of being myself. maybe i wanted to find out what it would feel like to be a fool." when u break it down, it's him exploring.... other options. until 7th division arc, he's of the mindset that if he had psychic powers he'd be Better, in all aspects, that he's nothing without psychic powers. he puts his entire identity and self-worth on having the abilities of an ESPer

now that he has them, he feels limitless, he feels unstoppable. he's so tired of being himself, of being perfect, of being the well-behaved younger brother w perfect grades and perfect attitude (bc let's face it, he's definitely a gifted kid, and gifted kids tend to develop habits of perfectionism, and eventually become exhausted). so he switches tactics, to find out what it would feel like to be a fool.

i honestly think cutting mogami's messy backstory and making him "evil" for the sake of being "evil" woulda been better. im sure not everyone agrees w me on that, and i can absolutely see why, but sometimes simple is "better" (imo). an underdeveloped villain is better, to Me, than a villain that is trying too hard to have a compelling motive. mogami's character feels like it is trying too hard, and branching out in too many directions, and it ends up just feeling,, stretched thin

i like shimazaki more than mogami. hell, i like shimazaki more than Any of the villains, and we all Know it's not because he has a good backstory (or one at all). he's not even very compelling to me, i just think he's cool, and i'll forever be stoked about how they let a character use teleportation powers right for once. sometimes simple is better

i'm not a fan of any of mob psycho's other villains, but they serve their purpose, and yaknow what, mogami serves his. i think seeing him as an "unreliable narrator" instead is a rly fun way of looking at it

#qktalks #uselessundertalefacts #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho #mp100 #keiji mogami #ritsu kageyama

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lowcallyfruity · 7 months ago

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Long Messy ass Leovil thoughts under the cut I just started rambling 😭😭

CRINGE WARNING 😨😨😨

Leovil is so doomed relationship to me. A relationship that was doomed to fail no matter how hard they tried to make it work. I always say that Leovil are ‘divorced’ or exes but I never really knew WHY. I never gave it a reason because I just wasn’t sure why they would have broken up. Cheating felt wrong, it just didn’t feel THEM. I don’t think either of them would cheat, that just isn’t them to me. And after thinking for a bit I decided on mental health.

I think that they dated maybe first/second year, and honestly at that time it was not the best for either of them to be in a relationship. They jumped into soon and didn’t fully think it through, a part of it was to feel something. ANYTHING. Part of it was to feel some form of relief. I think they tried, they really did. To make it work. I think they wanted it to last and maybe it did just for a bit. Maybe there was a satisfaction of them lasting a year. Or a month. Or two. Maybe to them having a relationship that lasted more than just a week or two was good enough. But it still hurts. Because they still wanted to try. They wanted to have something that lasted. They never had something last forever, never had such a strong connection and they got used to that. They just wanted to have something. Anything. A friend. Someone that cared. Someone that cared. Someone that understands at least just a little bit. But it was so impossible for them both at the time because they couldn’t deal with all of their problems in life. Leonas family issues and depression, Vil’s issues with the industry and his own hidden sadness and jealousy. They couldn’t handle a relationship at the same time. They weren’t ready.

They go well together but they also clash together. They can’t agree sometimes. And it’s hard to get through to each other. But they will try because they’ve gotten attached.

Yet no matter how much they wanted it to work it failed. They kept pushing issues aside.

I think when they broke up there weren’t any hard feelings at first. I mean. It was mutual. But as the days passed it got more difficult to feel that way. A part of them understood WHY but they also felt incomplete and unresolved. A slight bit of disappointment. It later grew to resentment.

They don’t hate each other. They really don’t. And I think now they understand their feelings more than back when they were younger. But they also somewhat can’t let go of that resentment that they felt from that first year.

They’re playful with each other. They tease. They’re in sync. They care about each other. They poke fun at each other. They remember the little details about the other. But there is always that little feeling that lingers. The desire for more. But being too scared to act on it. Because they don’t want to hurt again. Not anymore. They can’t let go. Maybe they’re just better as friends. No not friends. Rivals? Co workers? They’re too stubborn to let go of their grudges. Even if they seem silly now.

And it repeats over and over again.

And it’s been doomed since the beginning. A cycle that repeats over and over again. Like Sisyphus and his boulder.

Longing and yearning but letting go and pushing away.

#this is so messy bc I can’t organize my thoughts #I wrote this at night so it’s probably not the best #it’s like so messy and I don’t know how to properly format and organize my thoughts about them #me trying to explain them without bringing in my PD headcanons for them too much #long post #💛!me talking💀#Leovil…the slays…

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teaveetamer · 1 year ago

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i read through a lot of your analyses and i still can't tell what some of your stances are, but i just wanted to know how much you agree with my own stances on edelgard and dimitri/3H.

3H is obviously not a well thought-out political treatise on the ramifications of war and different styles of political change. it just isn't. it ends far too quickly and is too simplistic to ever be anything similar.

what 3H is incredible at is character writing. this is why i simply don't understand why people "hate" edelgard OR dimitri. neither of these people are saints. they've both done horrific things. but they both portray trauma in such fascinating and complex ways that you rarely see in videogames. the parallels they have and the way they see the world are just so compelling to me that i actually avoid finishing CF/SS/AM because it always leaves me feeling so emotional afterward and sometimes i just want a nice comfort game.

that being said, i do take issue with the way dimitri's arc resolves. i think it's extremely unrealistic how he just "snapped out" of his intense mental problems. as someone who has also struggled with mental health, it's a very slow process and often it feels like one step forward, two steps back. i wish that they had left his recovery a lot more incomplete, or that the game had lasted longer so his recovery felt more organic.

this is why i prefer edelgard purely as a character because i think the way she represses her emotions completely and is slowly corrupted by her inability to trust or love herself is a story that makes a lot more sense to me.

I'm not sure in which respects my stances are unclear, but I'm always happy to clarify if you just ask! Keep in mind that this blog is like three years old at this point so if you go back far enough you'll probably find contradicting things, as my opinions have developed and changed over the years. So if that's the problem just assume the most recent stuff is the most accurate.

I will say that while 3H can have some very good character moments, I also think it's incredibly disappointing in a lot of ways. The plot, writing, and worldbuilding being so messy just doesn't give the characters a good foundation to stand on, so character moments often come across extremely hollow to me.

I could name countless examples but I think the most obvious one that everyone picks up on is Gronder Field. First, we're told that this is extremely sad and difficult for all of the characters involved, despite never or almost never seeing the students from different houses interact with each other at any point during the main story. If you don't recruit then it's entirely possible to go the entire Academy portion of the game without seeing a single cross-house interaction beyond the house leaders.

They all point to the feast they had after the battle of Eagle and Lion in the Academy part, but that happens entirely off screen. It's not even really described beyond "it was fun" and "we were all sitting together". Emblem Claude in Engage gives a better idea of what happened there than 3H ever does. A piece of DLC for a completely different game in the series describes what is supposed to be a key interaction better than the game it was actually from!

And then you actually get there and it's contrived AF. There's literally no reason for the BL and GD to be fighting each other at any point but they all kill each other anyway. There's no fog of war. Characters will even recognize each other before they fight and then continue fighting each other anyways despite having absolutely no reason to?

And then it just ends and we're all told to feel very sad about it, but why should we? It's not earned. These characters don't know each other or care about each other, most of them weren't even on opposite sides. It comes across as feeling dumb and unearned, which makes the characters reacting to it completely 100% straight as if it were this huge but unavoidable tragedy come off as confusing and overwrought.

Edelgard's writing as an entire other can of worms that I've gotten into too many times to count, so I'll try to keep this short.

I'll preface this by saying I don't have a problem with people liking or relating to Edelgard in any way. Also, just because something has problems doesn't mean you can't have found meaning in it. I can tell you really enjoy the character anon, and that's great! I wouldn't want to take that away from you.

Buuuuuut since I'm giving my opinion here... I don't agree with her being a well written depiction of trauma. I feel like, especially now, the fandom tends to engage with the Edelgard we all wanted instead of the one we actually got.

Again I'll use a specific example (well actually two) to illustrate my point.

It's hard to take her trauma seriously when it's immediately undercut by her doodling pictures of her crush, getting embarrassed about it, and getting teased. This happens twice. They do this twice! Once in the explore section immediately after Ladislava and Randolph literally die right in front of her, and once after you could have potentially killed Claude and she's talking about being locked in a fucking dungeon!

Like it blows my mind that more people don't talk about this, especially the latter example. You have just potentially killed someone. She's sitting there. Talking about being locked in a dungeon, tortured, and experimented on. And then your character's reaction is to tease her for doodling a picture of you. And they did this two times, so it's not like it was an accident!

So like how am I supposed to read this, exactly? Either the entire scene is bunk and you're not really meant to take the trauma portion seriously, it's all just a big joke, or... or you're supposed to find teasing someone going through a genuine trauma response endearing and enjoyable..? It's just. I've been looking at this scene and the numerous other Edelgard scenes like it and I just don't get there. I don't understand how to read this in a way that isn't incredibly belittling or sexist or SEVERELY undercutting what should be a serious character moment.

But people want it to be this serious, well-written character moment for her. I don't blame anyone for that, because that's what I would have wanted too! But it's just... it's so crazy disrespectful on every level, to treat a female character's trauma like it's a funny quirk or an opportunity to flirt/tease? I can damn well guarantee that no male character would be treated with that amount of disrespect, and we know that because Dimitri exists and at no point is his trauma ever played for a joke or undercut like this! It's not perfectly written, but it's written with respect to the subject and the character.

There's an absurd degree of sexism baked into the writing of 3H that just doesn't get addressed by the fandom at large, so I kind of find it frustrating.

And worse, sometimes when you try to engage with that and critique it you're shouted down or treated as if you are the problem, like I somehow spoke the sexism of the game into existence just by pointing it out.

I could go on but I'll cut myself off here

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kafkaoftherubble · 5 months ago

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纯属自娱。

I told you Ada has messy salt-and-pepper hair, right?

All Ghouls have white hair regardless of their psychic competency or powers. Ada, however, is explicitly a failure as a Ghoul. Therefore, she has normal black hair for a pretty substantive amount of time. Her first adoptive parents, "Disillusioned Ex-Ghoul-Researchers" had found it peculiar because they had seen Emily, whose hair is white. Nonetheless, Ghouls had always been experimental, and just because one sample showed white hair (they have no idea F exists) doesn't mean all Ghouls should express the same phenotype.

That said, around age 12, A—as "Arete"—began to grow more and more strands of white hair between her usual black ones. They are sometimes incompletely white, too, much like normal young humans who occasionally grow hair with zig-zagged decolorization.

A young girl exhibiting hair you can only see from older folks did not help Arete's physical appearance, which was already pretty damn lackluster. It also attracted talks from tabloids and internet gossip. "Mr Politician's Strange, Old-Young Child."

It took only a month and a few discussions for the Politician and his strategic advisors + PR team to get Arete's hair frequently dyed black. They also often gave her makeup to make her look more presentable.

Following Arete unwittingly humiliating Politician and Politician's Wife in a state dinner, plus people making more and more speculations about her mental state, A experienced a soft exile and was gradually isolated from the family, showing up less and less in public until she was completely obscure. She stopped getting professional make-up artists to doll her up, though they still ordered her to dye her hair black.

Once A is emancipated at 18 and adopts the mononym "Ada," she also stops using hair dye. It's really to cut costs for her monthly budget since she isn't making a ton of money. Nor does she think she has the time to waste on her hair.

Ada's so desperate to be something "unique" that she even tries to reframe her apparent defect as "a moe point." In that sense, she tells herself (and debates with the Others) that her hair signifies her as an anime protagonist, and she's gotta be very "specialz" somehow. Or, as she puts it, "totes-cool-bets-you" (an attempted pun on とくべつ).

Don't beat her over it; she has almost no friends and needs some form of self-amusement now, right?

Is Japan an actual country/culture in this universe? Well, is Chinese one? Who knows?

----

I wrote this at 4:44pm. I thought I should give back to you somehow by scheduling things you might like in the hours when I'm asleep, too, like you do. I know it took some time out of my work and I really need that time, but I also just wanted to rebel against being turned into a slave for some capitalistic heartless client who cared not for my wellbeing. You care about my wellbeing. Doing things for you don't count as wasting time.

#the karma of 2015 Lyns

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asktheforgottenballerina · 1 year ago

Text

Friendship [I couldn't think of a better title] | Hello Puppets and Hello Puppets: Midnight Show

A/N: tagging @graceandtheidiotsquad and @youreternallover but anyone can read }:). Basically my take on an episode of Mortimer's Handeemen.

Warnings: arguments, but that's basically it I think.

youtube

[The Mortimer's Handeemen theme song plays.]

[For the opening scene, we see a woman with messy, black hair and brown eyes. She wears a red sweater, casual leggings, and a black jacket, open. She seems to notice the viewers' presence, addressing us as if we were actually there.]

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: Oh, I almost didn't see you there!

[She chuckles, pulling on the neck of her sweater.]

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: Today we're going to be learning all about friendshi-

[Suddenly, a crash and a yell is heard from the other room. Olivia's expression suddenly changes to one of concern.]

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: Oh no...I'd better go and check that out.

[OLIVIA walks into the other room, to see her younger brother OWEN GUBBERSON holding RILEY RUCKUS back as she seems to still be attempting to lunge at NICK NACK. BELLA THE BALLERINA and DAISY DANGER are helping him attempt to break it up.]

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: What On Earth Is Going On Here?

OWEN GUBBERSON: ...I have this under control, Liv!

[he says, while clearly not having this under control]

[strangely, the puppets seem to be...moving on their own, almost? Neither of the humans question this.]

NICK NACK: You - You stupid wench! You wouldn't appreciate good art if it hit you with a wrench!

[RILEY RUCKUS manages to break free from OWEN and punches NICK NACK in the face. OLIVIA facepalms.]

[Once again music starts to play. Cue a musical number!]

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: So you've gone and called someone stupid-

BELLA THE BALLERINA: And in response, they damaged your eye-

[She gestures to her eye.]

BELLA THE BALLERINA: But here is where the conflict must end, lest you both end up blind.

OLIVIA GUBBERSON:

Sometimes the problems at play Are not all plain to see So we lash out at our loved ones Disregarding our bond sanctity

DAISY DANGER:

There are several sides To us that may seem abstract at first Until we discover where everything fits, and People can be like a half-missing puzzle set; As we find the pieces Things make more and more sense!

OWEN GUBBERSON: Nice Imagery, but I'm not sure I follow.

DAISY DANGER: Well, hon, I'll give you an example!

I had this problem where I'd Often hide my less-than-awesome feelings So when I would feel like sobbing, I'd just smile and crack jokes! I thought that that was coping, only joking Never showing sadness Hoping it would go away!

RILEY RUCKUS: Did that work?

DAISY DANGER: Nope! I felt bad!

NICK NACK: Aw, Daisy...

DAISY DANGER: It's okay!

OWEN GUBBERSON: How's that?

DAISY DANGER:

Everybody gets sad Even when you have people to care for And therefore You don't have to hide your pain Life without rainy days Is incomplete

RILEY RUCKUS: Or impossible, really. Rain goes to plants, plants feed animals, plant-eating animals feed animal-eating animals and humans feed animals corn and inject them with hormones until they can barely walk anymore!

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: Riley? How does all that relate to rain?

DAISY DANGER: Putting it simply, rain is a necessary piece of the puzzle that is life!

RILEY RUCKUS: So true. Are we done singing or is this just one of those musical interludes?

BELLA THE BALLERINA: On the subject of storm clouds... 'Cause, you know. You need. Storm clouds to make. Rain I'm just gonna get into it...

You once knew me as real gloomy This weird spooky, broody gal 'Cause I knew you'd listen to me As too scary to ignore I thought that I could take it All the hate could just be shaken But when you lo— care for someone! Not much hurts more than their scorn I also felt bad

NICK NACK: Come, now...

BELLA THE BALLERINA: In a different way!

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: Different how?

BELLA THE BALLERINA: By bad, I mean, well, bad, I did what I thought that I had to, which is bad too! I don't have to act all tough sometimes love is enough...

DAISY DANGER: Or what we need!

RILEY RUCKUS:

That was a quaint little review Of things that we already knew Now, can our discourse resume? There's pressing matters at hand

OWEN GUBBERSON: Actually, that was for your benefit.

RILEY RUCKUS: I don't see how that could be relevant.

DAISY DANGER: Riley, please!

OWEN GUBBERSON: Our goals benevolent!

RILEY RUCKUS: You know me, I don't care for sentiment.

NICK NACK: OMG!

OWEN GUBBERSON & RILEY RUCKUS:

This serves as a testament To the fact-

RILEY RUCKUS: That to me, you're negligent-

OWEN GUBBERSON: [at the same time as Riley] that you have a temperament!-

BOTH:

Which is FINE!

RILEY RUCKUS: It just works to your detriment-

OWEN GUBBERSON: you just haven't accepted it-

BOTH:

You not letting me finish is proving my-/if you let me finish they'd get to the-

BELLA THE BALLERINA: HEY!

[the two snap their attention in her direction]

BELLA THE BALLERINA: You're lost!

RILEY RUCKUS: I'm right here...

BELLA THE BALLERINA: It's okay!

RILEY RUCKUS: You're acting weird...

BELLA THE BALLERINA: I was lost once too, but thanks to all of you life sucks less now!

ALL: We're your best pals!

BELLA THE BALLERINA: No one wants to be a joke...

ALL: But a life free of jokes is incomplete!

NICK NACK: Guys do you mind if I contribute to this weird, vent-ey song?

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: Please, do!

NICK NACK:

I've got an issue That feels new-school; I don't wanna say I'm too cool But I'm just too fab for you fools And I feel like you don't get me!

OWEN GUBBERSON: You've insulted us while venting!

NICK NACK: ...Sorry!

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: It's alright, Nick, honestly it didn't hurt me, it's clear you're the one who's hurting.

NICK NACK: Huh?

BELLA THE BALLERINA: You feel low!

NICK NACK: That's not true!

DAISY DANGER: It's Okay!

NICK NACK: Don't Assume!

OWEN GUBBERSON: You don't have to save face!

BELLA THE BALLERINA: In almost any case we embrace you!

NICK NACK: [sarcastic] that's rich!

DAISY DANGER: No one hates you!

ALL: Everybody's got flaws!

DAISY DANGER: But with no you at all, we're incomplete!

OLIVIA GUBBERSON:

There! Now you see! Everybody goes wrong And we put it in song So it's easier To hear it!

OWEN GUBBERSON:

This puzzle's tough I'll admit But in time We'll find where everything fits!

[musical number end.]

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: So, do you too have something to say to each other?

NICK NACK: [heavy, dramatic sigh] I'm sorry I called you stupid. And a wench.

RILEY RUCKUS: [muttering, annoyed] sorry I hit you.

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: Well, I'm glad we got that one sorted out.

OWEN GUBBERSON: I could've handled it.

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: Of course you could, little brother.

OWEN GUBBERSON: Hey! You're only 12 minutes older than me.

[Olivia only chuckles and turns to the audience again.]

OLIVIA GUBBERSON: See you all next time!

[Once again, the theme song plays.]

#trying something new #bella the ballerina [oc]#hello puppets #hello puppets: midnight show #hello puppets oc #nick nack #riley ruckus #mortimer handee #daisy danger #hello puppets!#hello puppets ask blog #Mortimer's Handeemen #Sanders Sides technically because I used the song #who knows what Nick and Riley were fighting about honestly #I love these idiots #I had to add that wrench joke in @ Grace.#Youtube

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