#it's making me so angry i wanna kill everyone then myself

[bunnihearted]

,,

[petrichorium]

so I think I got to that absolutely devastating thing in witch hat last night—that hurt :,)👍 literally was not expecting qifrey to wipe oru’s memory after everything the story seemed to be building up for between this hurdle for them

like….that was such an important moment for them. Oru had been so willing to help him despite qifrey become so insanely fixated on stopping the brimmed hats and….qifrey made the decision that he’d rather oru remember him as the qifrey he’s familiar with than whatever he’s become now. put me down like an old dog—that HURT

AGOKNEEEEEEEEEEEE

[sensitivegoblin]

….

[patdkoala]

I Don't Hate You

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Warning: Angst, enemies to lovers, smut, nicknames (Doll and Charming), unprotected p in v, masturbation (Fem), Oral (Fem receiving)

I'm not entirely convinced that Bucky doesn't hate me.

His resting face is also his angry face. And he's always looking at me in that tone.

Like right now. He was just sitting there staring at me.

"What?" I asked while looking up at him.

"Nothing, just... thinking."

"About?"

"You wouldn't want to know."

Now what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"Try me," I said to try and get something, anything, out of him.

"Don't push it, kid."

Oh, I hate it when he calls me that.

I grit my teeth. "Fine, don't tell me. I don't care anymore.

"Fine by me." His tone was sharp. He spoke with such anger towards me and I didn't know what I ever did to him.

Bucky is handsome, sure. He's tall and largely built. The metal arm alone scares away almost everyone.

But there is something about him that I find incredibly charming.

But in a stuck-up asshole Prince Charming way.

"Whatever, Charming," I sneered back at him.

Bucky scoffed when I called him that. "Charming?"

"Yeah, you know because you are a jerk like Prince Charming," I said as I got up from the couch and poured myself a drink.

"Hey, at least I own up to it. Unlike some people, who think they're God's gift to womankind," He said as I nearly killed him right then and there.

"I AM! Have you seen this ass? And my tits? These are fantastic. You just wish you were one of the many men I have that get to touch me."

"You're as shallow as a kiddie pool."

"Confident. I'm confident. Not my fault you cry when you look in the mirror."

He sighed and I could have sworn I saw a hint of a smile. "I don't know why I waste my time with you. I could find a rock with more personality than you."

I had had it with him. He is such an asshole.

"Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you. Hating you would mean I loved you at one point and grew to hate you. I can't stand you."

"Wow. Fantastic. How about I go outside and help you find a rock with a great personality?"

"Be my guest."

I set down my drink and walked towards the door. He was standing in front of it.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me. What are you doing?"

"Getting a rock. What does it look like?"

"No you're not," He said in a stern tone.

"What are you saying?" I was so confused. First, he wants the rock. Now he doesn't.

"You're not going outside to find a rock," He said it but it felt like a demand.

"I'm not?"

"No. You are not."

"Are you asking me not to? Or telling me not to?"

"I'm telling you."

oh

My breath caught in my throat as he just stared at me. There he was. Again. Just staring at me.

"What is going on in that mind of yours?" I asked with actual curiosity.

"You really wanna know?" He asked as interest peaked in me.

I couldn't even speak I was so excited. I just nodded like a mindless bimbo.

He got closer only to whisper, "I'm trying to figure out why in the hell I haven't left you in the middle of the woods yet."

Asshole.

I pushed him back against the door but not in a flirty way. More of a shove before storming off.

He doesn't even flinch. He just glares at me as I storm off.

I go to my room to cool off. I obviously like him but he doesn't like me and I am just going to have to deal with it.

I decided to work out. I needed to get this fire out of my system. I blasted my music into my headphones as I started my routine.

The workout wasn't working. I needed to matters into my own hands. Or, hand.

I made sure my door was locked and when I did I saw Bucky in the living room doing push-ups. He was trying to cool off as well.

I am going to make his life very hard. Well, and something else.

I sat on my bed and slipped a hand into my shorts. I started off slow but then built up tension.

My fingers felt nice but they weren't him.

"Oh, Bucky~" I moaned quietly as I came.

That was when I heard the knock.

I got up and opened the door.

"I hope you didn't think I didn't hear anything."

"Oh, but I was intentionally being loud for you, Charming." I smiled as I raised an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes. "Of course you were."

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes, actually."

"What is it now? Gonna tell me how much you hate me? How much you wish I was dead? Or maybe-" "I was just going to ask that you keep it down when you finger yourself."

"Seriously? That's it? No snide comments?"

"Don't temp me."

"Oh, but it's my favorite thing to do!" I whined.

He just stared at me. Again. So, I stared back. He turned around and walked away. I rolled my eyes and followed him.

"Do you seriously have to follow me everywhere?"

"No. But I just want you to tell me the truth." I said as I followed after him.

"What truth? That you're a pain in my ass? That I want nothing more than to ditch you?"

I was actually hurt this time. "Is that actually true?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"Because I need you to be very honest with me, Barnes. If that is really how you feel then I will just head out and you will never have to see me ever again."

"Fucking guilt-tripping. You're not gonna leave, and you know it."

"Watch me." I felt the fire inside me rise.

"Oh please, spare me. I know you. You wouldn't make it a week on your own."

I rolled my eyes. "And why is that? Why do you think I need you all the time?" I was practically screaming at him at this point.

"You are the most dependent person I have ever met. You would die without me."

I thought for a second. "No. No, I think it's the other way around. You'd die without me and you just don't want to admit it. I swear you are such an asshole."

"And I think you are in denial. That's why you cling to me so much because you hate being alone with yourself."

I scoff. "I think you are forgetting how okay I was with myself not too long ago in that bedroom in my own hands."

"Oh yes. I remember. You were so "okay" you were grunting and groaning for half an hour." He paused and took a breath. "You want the truth? I'll give it to you. Right now. You're a spoiled, ungrateful, whiny, little bitch," He said I was slightly taken aback but I didn't flinch.

"Oh, come on. Say it like you mean it." I roll my eyes one last time.

"You'll be back here in a day you useless piece of-"

"Save it. I'm leaving."

"Fine."

I went to my room and honest to God packed a bag.

I went back towards the front door and saw that Bucky hadn't moved. I lifted my hand to the handle. I was going so slow a snail could have stopped me.

I wanted Bucky to speak up and say something. Stop me from leaving. But he just stood there.

Then he cleared his throat.

"Oh, this should be good. What is it now?"

"Please... don't go..."

I was speechless.

"Give me one reason. One honest reason to stay," I finally spoke.

"Because..." he doesn't continue.

"Exactly. That's why I'm leaving. You only want to fight me when I'm here but you won't fight for me to stay."

"Don't go. Please," He said in a breathy sentence.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to go."

I didn't know what to say. He was just staring at me. Again. I swear to God this guy has got a problem.

Except this time he looked vulnerable.

Helpless.

Needy.

"Are you asking me to stay? Or telling me."

"I'm fucking begging you."

I dropped my bag and turned around so that I was standing closer to him. It was taking everything in me not to pounce on this man and rip his clothes off of him.

We were so close that I felt his breath hitch.

Say something God Damnit!

He didn't say a thing.

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into a kiss.

"I- I thought you hated me," I said in a breathless sentence.

"I do." He said as he brought his mouth to my neck.

I moaned as he touched me so feverly. I had never felt something like this before.

The passion. The rage. The fire.

He pulled me closer as if it was even fucking possible, and he started to kiss down my collarbone.

"Bedroom- the bedroom-" I stuttered out.

Bucky smiled in a way I had never seen before. He had mischief in his eyes. He picked me up and carried me to my room.

He put me on the bed and crawled on top of me.

Mother fucking Bucky Barnes was crawling on top of me.

He held our gaze as he removed my shorts and soaked panties.

He held our gaze as he moved to the edge of the bed and sunk his teeth into my inner thigh.

The only time he looked away was when his head was too far buried in my cunt to even notice his surroundings.

I tugged on his hair and tried to pull him closer. I was so close to coming and we were only on that bed for maybe 6 minutes.

"I know, Doll," He said as chills went down my spine.

I wanted more.

"Mhmmm," I moaned out at the empty feeling as he got off me and then he removed his shirt.

I sat up and ran a hand down his chest.

The muscles.

The scars.

The happy trail.

The sweat.

I wanted to lick him.

As my hand was gliding down his glistening chest, he removed his belt and pants.

He was so hard that part of him was poking out of his boxers.

"That looks painful," I said as he slowly pushed me back onto the bed.

"You have no idea what I have been going through all day today," He said as he pushed his knee between my legs to spread them apart.

"All day?" I questioned.

"When you asked me what was on my mind while I was staring at you from the couch. I was thinking about how hard my dick was and what it would feel like inside you," He said as he moved his boxers down just enough to get free.

I kissed him roughly and bit his bottom lip as he lowered himself into me softly so I could adjust to his size.

He then held onto one of my legs. "What-"

"I need to get a better angle." He said as I felt like I was splitting apart.

I moaned so loud as he started thrusting into me. Hard.

His hips snapped so fast and the whole bed shook.

He was the one grunting and groaning now.

"Oh, Bucky~" I moaned out again but this time with him inside me. Happily.

"No, use the nickname," He said as I smiled. "I did. Bucky-" He stuck a finger inside just to hit my clit.

"Charming!" I yelped out as felt myself getting closer and closer.

His hips started faltering and my legs were starting to tremble.

"I- 'm close Doll," Bucky moaned out as I sat up a little more so he could really get up in there.

"Me too, Charming," I said as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. I think I hit a nerve with that last one.

I moaned so loudly as I came around him. He came very soon after. I think the feeling of me pulsing around him was too much for him.

He pulled out and then cleaned us off with the henley he had thrown off.

He laid down next to me and pulled me close so my back was to his chest.

"Do you still want me to go find you a rock?" I asked as he laughed.

"You are insufferable."

[spoopy-arcade]

The hate on Roxy because she's a "bitch" and a "narcissist" and... wanting to get Gregory? (When literally everyone besides Freddy is also trying to kill him???) Is so fucking stupid and just shows how much you people hate female characters. I'm about to go in-

First of all, the bad talk at Gregory in SB was because she was hacked by Vanny, (even her behaviour when you see her through the vents in her room) obviously there was no way she'd actually talk like that to a KID, but alot of you seriously believe that. And yeah, ok, she says a few mean things, so what? SO WHAT? If this was Monty's, or maybe Bonnie's personality instead, would you be spewing hate at them, or continue to simp for them and call their behaviour hot? I know for a FACT that a lot of you would. Not all female characters have to be too sweet or quirky and silly for you to like.

Back to Roxy's bad talk, you may think "Well, none of the others bad talk him!!" Yeah, it's because everything Roxy says to him is actually targeted to herself. The game clearly showed us how she actually feels: crying alone in her room, constantly telling herself that she's not a loser, and questioning if everyone loves her. Her praising herself are reminders to feel like she's still loved more than anything.

And the one thing that boosted her confidence alot was her looks. Her looks clearly meant so much to her, and we see this in Help Wanted 2 as well, so obviously she would be furious and lose it if someone took that away from her, including her ability to see.

And before I say anything else, I just wanna say that no I'm not angry at Gregory at all, he is just a child who was doing everything he can to survive, and if I were in his place, I would've done the same as well to protect myself. But at the same time, I understand Roxy's anger too. If I were someone who had very low self esteem that I reassure and prepare myself everyday to hang on, when one day, suddenly someone hits me with a whole go kart that shatters my entire body, and on top of that, they steal my eyes too? Yes, I wouldn't just be devasted, but I'd be very angry as well. Roxy was taken everything away from her, and was left to rot alone, I don't blame her for being angry at all.

Now more onto Ruin, which shows us her true side all along.

In the dlc, I don't think (Or it's clear at this point) that any of them are hacked anymore, since we assume that Vanny left with Gregory and Freddy in the good ending, and Glitchtrap is gone. But with Chica and Monty, I feel like they've just lost themselves and are completely broken. Even when seeing Cassie, they still tried to kill her. But with Roxy, she was the only one who recognised her when she heard her voice, and even apologized for grabbing her.

Later on, when Cassie stumbles onto Roxy again, this is where we see her TRUE self. Where she's sweet, soft, and not as mean as everyone made her out to be. (The way she gently speaks to her and holds her hand will never not make me cry) We know that from Roxy's lines, she was one of few who actually showed up to her birthday, since her friends didn't and was the reason why Cassie was crying in one of the cut outs we see. But Roxy was there for her, and she still remembered her special day, her favourite cake, and she was her number one - twice.

This part CLEARLY shows you that Roxy isn't a selfish jerk who only cares about herself, she cares about the kids, and she cares a lot about Cassie. There's a reason why she's Cassie's favourite, right? And don't forget that she literally went up against the mimic to protect her!!!

And I do wanna say that, no, this post isn't telling you that you're not allowed to dislike Roxy or criticise her at all, the issue is hating her character and personality when she would've been praised for it and called "hot" if she were Monty, Moon, Bonnie, or if she was Glamrock Foxy instead. (Which is... literally misogyny) Like, even before Ruin, there were people who hated Roxy for being a jerk, but then turn around and praise Monty when we see him being way more aggressive, while theorizing that he was the one KILLED Bonnie over jealousy. Not even because he was hacked, just... jealousy, and that's not him being 10 times worse than Roxy???

Don't forget the details in Monty's Gator Golf minigame, where in some levels, Freddy was always seen separated from the gang, and in the last level, you see Monty performing along side Roxy and Chica, while Freddy was thrown in the trash...

To me, this is clearly because he's jealous at Freddy, and wants to be the star instead. And along side him possibly killing Bonnie...

I'm sorry, but while I do like Monty, he is literally WAY more of a jerk. Alot of you people believe he killed Bonnie, is extremely jealous, way more aggressive, and yet Roxy is the worst of all for saying "I bet you don't even have friends" to a child when she was HACKED? But yeah, also praise the literal child murderer and abuser for being "interesting" and a cool character, but no, Roxy is the worst because she's a bitch. It's just so ridiculous, and I'm not surprised in the slightest, female characters will always get this treatment.

Alright, it's finally out of my system, anyway stan Roxy.

[thefreakandthehair]

@eddiemonth prompt, oct 4th: Rejection | Arsonist’s Lullaby - Hozier | Lost a/n: pre-steddie post-s4, angst with soft, happy ending because I'm a marshmallow. un-betaed because I'm challenging myself to write these in under an hour. read on ao3 | link to series on ao3

All Eddie Munson has ever wanted to do is play music. 

That’s it. There are other hobbies, of course, other things that bring him joy– D&D, fantasy novels, art– but ever since he was a kid, whenever a teacher would ask what he wants to be when he grows up, it’s always the same answer. 

I wanna play music. 

As a kid, it seems less daunting. He just has to practice, he just has to play, he just has to have the passion to make it big. To be the next Kirk Hammett, or Eddie Van Halen, or Ozzy Osbourne if he can teach himself to carry a tune. 

Making friends is hard, but he manages to find a few in middle school who can play the instruments he can’t– drums, bass. Eddie takes the role of frontman, not exactly a singer still but he’s charismatic enough to get away with it at their school talent show.

High school comes, and Corroded Coffin is revamped. New vibe, new members. He’s older now, a little more jaded with each rejection. 

No one wants their EP, recorded by hand in Gareth’s garage onto cheap cassette tapes. 

No venue will let them play, and Eddie knows that it’s probably because they’re in high school but hadn’t The Cure started in high school? 

No one believes in them, trying to push them– especially Eddie– to consider more successful careers, safer paths. 

But eventually, they book a regular gig at The Hideout and Eddie’s certain this is it. This is their big break. Until they play week after week, staring at the same five plastered faces every Tuesday. If they can prove themselves though, the owner will have to let them play on a Friday or Saturday.

He never does. 

The final nail in the proverbial coffin comes after Eddie’s final senior year. Being accused of murder should have beefed up his credibility if nothing else– he’s already been traumatized, terrorized, and hunted like a goddamn dog, nevermind almost killed via hoard of angry mutant bats. Surely, he’ll catch at least one break. 

And then the owner at The Hideout tells him he can’t play there anymore. 

The hoards of people who still blame him for Chrissy Cunningham’s death are too much for him to manage himself and, in his words, Eddie’s driving away good business. His heart shatters, his breath catches, and Eddie leaves without a word because if he were to try to speak, all that would come out is either an enraged scream or a choked sob and Eddie doesn’t want to risk either. 

He drives around aimlessly for an unknown amount of time, just circles around the outskirts of Hawkins. Maybe I’ll just leave, he thinks. Indianapolis might be far enough. Maybe Chicago. Fuck it, maybe Argyle and Jonathan can put me up for awhile in California. Eddie wants to go somewhere that makes him forget just how lost he is, how unwanted and forgotten he’s become. Being the social pariah is only fun when he’s making speeches on cafeteria tables, not when it boots him out of his one and only career path. 

Somehow, he ends up in Loch Nora. He can’t face Wayne right now, he doesn’t want to bother Robin or Nancy, he’s already let Jeff, Gareth, and Freak down in the worst way imaginable, and if he goes to his mom’s or Chrissy’s tombstones with one more sob story, he’s afraid they’ll start haunting him. Steve’s become a friend over the last year or so it makes sense. Process of elimination and all of that. 

He doesn’t have the mental bandwidth to realize that he’d started driving that way before he ruled everyone else out. 

Steve welcomes him like he always does and offers him a beer, sitting with him in companionable silence on the couch as they watch Monty Python and The Holy Grail and laugh at the same parts. Eddie knows Steve can see that he’s upset but instead of asking questions Eddie isn’t ready to answer, he just sits a little closer with their thighs touching and one arm strewn over the back of the couch, just barely grazing Eddie’s shoulder. 

The movie ends and Steve moves to switch the tape when Eddie finally speaks up. 

“The Hideout kicked us out. Can’t play there anymore.” 

Eddie sees Steve freeze from behind before turning, his eyebrows knitted together above his nose. “Are you fucking serious?” 

He nods and sighs, lifting one hand to chew on this thumbnail as he looks at the wall beyond Steve. 

“That’s bullshit, dude. Why? Because of the protestors or whatever?” 

He nods again. 

“Want me to go down there? I’ve still got my bat around here somewhere. It might be nice to swing at something that’s not trying to like, eat me.” 

Eddie huffs a small laugh through his nose and meets Steve’s eyes, their righteous anger blending with his own as he sees Steve cross his arms over his chest. It’s hard not to stare. 

 “Well, then at least I wouldn’t be the only guy in this town wanted for murder.” 

Steve shakes his head and just chooses another movie, Howard the Duck this time, before returning to his spot on the couch. It’s one of Eddie’s favorite movies but he can’t focus to save his life because Steve is even closer now, his arm draped fully across Eddie’s shoulders and creating a space for Eddie to easily just… rest. So he does. 

The title sequence starts and Eddie’s head drops to the side, resting on Steve’s shoulder. It’s one of his favorites but he can’t follow the plot to save his life. All he can focus on is the way Steve’s fingers trace symptoms and shapes against the cotton of his tee shirt, and the steady rise and fall of his chest, and the feeling of Steve’s head leaning against the top of his. 

“I had a new song and everything,” Eddie whispers, surprising both himself and Steve. 

Steve hums and tightens his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, a ghost of a hug. “Play it for me sometime?”

All Eddie Munson has ever wanted to do is play music. And maybe he still can.

[riansdiary]

BEFORE YOU SEND AN ASK... Please check if your question can be answered here and check if what you're about to ask is in here. Thank you!

1. Can I manifest...

The answer to this question is always yes. You can manifest anything you want as long as you can imagine having it.

2. I wanna manifest ____ but...

Okay so for this, I would rather have you tell me what you need help on in manifesting without the circumstances. You can tell me what you're not understanding about it and what you're having a hard time processing about manifesting instead. More so generally like "Hey Rian, I'm not seeing it in the 3d and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I need you to understand that the only one who's keeping that in your reality is you. Why? Attention is our currency (I learned from Neyah and various people) and what you focus on always, you will get more of it.

That's really important and we need to tell everyone about this more. I had a hard time myself before because I was paying attention to what I don't want. Pay attention to your affirmations and positive thoughts and good things. This is why I like the method of following my happiness when I'm resistant and paying attention to what I don't want cause it helps me take my mind off it.

So many of my asks have this exact question. While I'm not angry at it, of course not. It just gets repetitive and they're mostly paying attention to what they don't want and accepting the 3d as a fact. See your desires and affirmations as facts instead. Accept and internalize that more. Please do not contradict your affirmations. Keep saying yes and agreeing to them being true instead. Leave the 3d alone. It doesn't have any meaning except the meaning you give it.

You were saying it's done I have this thing then suddenly you saw something in the 3d and you gave it meaning.

"Oh this means he doesn't want me."

"Oh my God no it's not working!"

"Oh no where is it? I affirmed so much, we should be rich by now"

You contradicted yourself and gave it meaning but you could have done this instead:

You don't accept it as a fact. You keep thinking your desire is a fact already.

For SP:

"It doesn't have any meaning. Oh he's still so in love with me.

For money: looking at your wallet with not much money.

"Oh I don't have much cash, all my money is in the bank and I like to use credit cards. Been using my black card lately. I'm so rich."

Stop letting a dead reality that's just reflecting you to change your mind. Try and practice this with small desires.

IF 👏 YOU 👏 SAY 👏 IT'S 👏 IN 👏 YOUR 👏 REALITY 👏 THEN 👏 IT 👏 IS 👏

You're the boss! Don't forget that. It's not "the 3d is the boss", sometimes everyone needs that reminder. Seek validation from your mind! You say how it is! You just need to keep going inwards. Even just reminding yourself gently whenever you think about it is enough.

IT'S 👏 ALREADY 👏 HERE 👏

3. I have a stubborn mind.

This is not an attack. I just wrote this here to remind you that ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS ARE AFFIRMATIONS and that YOU CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE TRUE OR NOT.

Please, let's stop saying things like this. You are persisting on a negative affirmation. You could accept instead that you believe and accept your affirmations as facts immediately.

Just wanted to remind everyone that you just need to change your mind and your assumptions.

4. The law of assumption is fake.

Then why are you here? I've answered these kinds of asks multiple times and it's getting annoying. If that's your belief then it's fine but why are you here in Loablr then? It doesn't make any sense. So don't believe it, if that's what you want. You don't need to go to multiple loa bloggers and tell them your BS beliefs for no reason.

5. Cute little messages for me 🫶

I just wanna say thank you to all the anons who have been extra nice to me and told me kind things! Thank you so much!!! It really makes my day and I appreciate it! 🥰

6. Hateful, mean or kill yourself asks

Please refrain from doing this. You can do it to me all you want, I won't be affected at all because I know I'm in the right but please don't do this to any other Loa bloggers. It's harmful. I'm warning you now, I can be savage when it comes to any person doing this. You're just wasting your time on something negative and bad. I won't stop telling you that it's WRONG to do this.

If you don't have anything nice to say, kindly click away from my blog or someone else's. Be kind. I know you could be going through something so I can understand that but it's still a bad thing to do so please stop this, thank you.

[assiraphales]

Do you have any sick!Luffy ZoLu headcanons? If (heavens forbid) Luffy ever catches the Pirate King disease (like Roger) do you think Zoro would cry? Would he get angry (at Luffy or the universe or himself)? I can picture Luffy breaking the news to the crew and laughing saying "It's fine, it's fine" and then Zoro grabbing him by the collar and shouting "It's not fine!" all teary eyed which then makes everyone else cry (specially Chopper... And now I made myself sad af)

…………..well I didn’t (this also sent me down a reddit rabbit hole of discussions about not only only illness but the wear luffy’s fighting style and decisions has put on his body, as well as how age works differently in the op universe ie kureha & garp) but the twisted part about a sickness is it’s not a physical opponent anyone (zoro) could protect his captain from, or sacrifice his life for. and of course luffy, who laughs in the face of death / if it’s his time it’s his time, would accept his fate (imo) fairly well. the crew? the crew would not. (trying not to think about how upset chopper would be to be faced with one of the most important people in his life yet again being taken away by an illness he couldn’t cure)

everyone on the crew owes their life (tho of course not in the sense of a debt) to luffy in one way or another, and they love him so much, but zoro is in the unique position of his goals entwined so much with luffy’s own that his goals have become luffy. he wants to become the greatest swordsman for himself, for kuina, and for luffy. he would become the king of hell for luffy. the quote about what’s the point of ambition if you can’t protect your captain. zoro in the foxy pirate arc saying he wouldn’t be a pirate if it wasn’t with the strawhats. don’t die or I’ll kill you. he’d follow his captain to hell.

before luffy found zoro, he was lost. he knew what he eventually wanted to accomplish (beat mihawk) but other than that? the straw hats gave him purpose. a family. a reason to fight and grow stronger. to grow stronger to protect his family, and his captain. luffy was his priority days into meeting him. loving luffy is second Nature at this point and it’s hurting my brain to try and imagine taking luffy out of zoro’s life because while he’d still have the rest of the crew, he’d be missing his other half. a twin flame extinguished.

long story short no I don’t have any headcanons bc I don’t wanna :(((((

[sensitivegoblin]

Tw: sucicidal venting self harm

[ochrearia]

8 BFs In a Room

Hell on Ochre technique is making myself balance 8 characters in one drabble because I feel guilty about leaving anyone's BFs out when they're on my list. Have fun shenanigans with a gut punch of angst at the end (sorry) <3

BFs in this drabble: PoPr!BF (Biff, mine), cs!BF (Beefer, mine), fc!BF (Boyf, Keyy's), wyd!BF (Beef, Karl's), sfa!BF (Peacock, Shed's), S2!BF (Bee, Isaac's), Candy!BF? (Blue, Slushgut's, unsure of a prefix for now), Yourself (YS)

“Why did I ever agree to this?” YS grumbled, rubbing a hand across his throat. “Fucking hell, I’m going to have such a sore throat tomorrow morning because I decided to indulge you shitters.”

“Well no one said you had to do them all one right after another, that was you, dumbass.”

YS glared at Boyf. “Oh and how else was I supposed to comprehend the request? Not a single one of you looked willing to wait your turn. No concept of patience in this room.”

“How am I supposed to have patience when you have such a cool song?! I got excited and so did everyone else!” Blue complained, contrasting the grin on his face.

“At least it was only six times and not seven. I had my turn months ago.” Biff was grinning as well. “Though I also had the thought in the back of my head that you wanted to kill me, potentially, so it was nervous fun.”

“I wasn’t gonna-” YS huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No, fair enough, I literally smacked you across the room. Sorry. Have I ever actually said I was sorry for that? I’m such an idiot.”

“You were forgiven a long time ago, I don’t care.” Softer tone from Biff now. “Though I think you should have recreated the experience for everyone else. Or at least Beef.”

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Beef hollered, making angry faces at Biff. “Fuck you in particular!”

“Fuck you also!”

“I’m not smacking everyone across the room.” YS said bluntly. “I’m not going to be physically hurting any of you on purpose, thank you.”

“Aaah, big guy cares about us.” Peacock teased.

“Okay you’re making me consider going back on what I just said.”

“Can you reconsider that for Beefer specifically I kinda wanna see who’d win between you two.”

“He’s a literal dinosaur?? Who the hell do you think is gonna win?” YS asked incredulously.

“I haven’t figured out how to go into battle mode yet and I’m too nervous about how my situation’s playing out to ask yet.” Beefer shrugged. “If that makes you feel better. I can’t do much other than bite and scratch without it.”

“Can you hurry up and figure it out a little faster though? I’m not the only one who’s curious about all of that you know. I want to see what a dinosaur me would look like!” Insisted Bee, practically stars in his eyes.

“Hey I thought the specimen here was YS, not me!”

“You guys aren’t actually fucking calling me a specimen right. I wasn’t even awake for that shit you can’t just decide that’s one of my nicknames.” YS complained.

“Biff was the one who said it, and also laughed about it.” Peacock pointed.

“Snitch!”

“Holy fuck, you’re all toddlers. All seven of you, I swear to god. Why am I in charge of any of you? Isn’t that what your Picos and GFs are for, I should not be responsible for this.”

“What’s wrong with putting you in charge? You have the best ideas out of all of us.” Blue insisted. “I haven’t been here for too long but you’re pretty cool! The rest of you are too!”

“Him? Cool? Nah, just wait until he’s scared of upsetting you and he starts getting all subdued and nervous.” Boyf snarked with his phone.

“Wait until you find out that he’s-”

“Beef you better not finish that fucking sentence or the dumb corner will PERSONALLY have your name on it.” YS threatened.

“Blame Biff for talking his shit man, that wasn’t my fault.” Beef grinned with a shrug.

“Can you guys stop keeping all these secrets? I want to know the YS lore too. Sharing is caring!” Peacock asked. “How come Biff and Beef get to know but the rest of us don’t?”

“Because Biff’s an asshole and figured it out on his own because he has the same issue.” YS huffed, crossing his arms. “And he decided it would be a wonderful idea to tell Beef, who doesn’t have that issue, and who would sooner exploit it instead of being a kind person.”

“We were doing it to cheer you up, shut up man, you ruin my life with the same problem and I’m at a disadvantage because your tall, lanky ass can pick me up like I weigh nothing!” Biff countered, anger playful.

“Anyone else feel like they’re missing a couple seasons here?” Beefer asked to the rest.

“Sounds like we need to interrogate those two for some info.”

“Beef, we’re buddies… you can tell me!” Bee tried to tempt him. “We played Nun Massacre together that one time, come onnnn, tell me!”

“You tell anyone about that and I’m actually going to go back on what I said earlier. I don’t need anyone else knowing that there’s a way to incapacitate me and you two knowing is already bad enough.”  YS hissed.

“Why would you say that though?” Peacock laughed. “Now we know there’s a way to incapacitate you. Yeah, you’re definitely one of us if you can’t think that far ahead to realize saying that’s only going to make us more curious.”

“Fucking- Shut up. Forget I said that.”

“I’m still stuck on the mental image of him picking Biff up like a toothpick.” Laughed Blue. “Can you do that with all of us? Oh, oh, how many of us do you think you could pick up at once?”

“I am not doing that.”

“Oh my god, this guy is so fucking grumpy and boring. Would you just live a little?” Biff sighed, standing up from his place on the floor. “Think fast chucklenuts, you better catch me or we’re both going to the floor!”

“Biff-!”

Biff ran at YS, jumping halfway there and practically slamming into the taller’s chest. He stumbled, frantically trying to keep himself steady and also make sure the small asshole didn’t crash to the ground between his hands.

“Jesus fucking- Why. Why are you like this. Don’t do that again or I will just drop you on purpose.”

“Nah, you wouldn’t do that, you care too much about your little brother to let him get hurt.” Biff teased snidely.

“Just saying, YS, if you wanted to reconsider him being your first little brother, you still can.”

Biff glowered at Boyf like he’d just tried to commit murder. YS snorted out a laugh, shaking his head at how ridiculous things got when all of them were in the same room.

“So wait, Biff’s not the only one who can have little brother status?” Bee asked. “Wait, where can I sign up?”

“Is there a form we have to sign, or…?” Peacock questioned with a hint of mischief.

“Wait, I want a big brother too!” Blue butted in.

YS wanted to be swallowed into the ground in sheer embarrassment over how happy this was making him. The bloom of warmth in his chest was still so unfamiliar, but incredibly addicting for the times he actually had felt it. Starting right in his heart and aching in the best way, spreading across his chest and successfully chasing away his cold body temperature for a time.

“I’d say me too, but I don’t think he can handle hearing one more of those with how his face is starting to turn red.” Beefer snorted. “You’re so bad at hiding the joy on your face, man. But I think it looks like it belongs on you, to be honest.”

YS couldn’t stifle the groan when his arms were still occupied by Biff, who was an annoying little asshole for jumping at him, causing this to happen all at once, and expose him for how happy he could get over the sentiment of having them all as little brothers. Of course it would be the littlest brother that could cause so much damn chaos in a matter of seconds.

“Shut up…” He protested feebly, but what was he supposed to do when Biff moved closer to give him a proper hug now? Fuck this guy, knowing how to derail everything. He wasn’t used to feeling so loved, hadn’t felt anything like it in a good while.

“I didn’t know this guy even had the capacity to blush. See, these are the things we should be telling each other, every little bit of information is going to help if we have any chance of helping him out like he does with us.” Peacock seemed like he was going to make a list of things at this point.

“True! Even the little things help paint a better picture. Makes it feel like the puzzle we’re solving is an actual person instead of some stranger.” Bee added in agreement.

“You’re all so-” What could he really say? All of them seemed so determined, like they’d all already had this conversation to agree to care. Maybe they had and YS just hadn’t noticed. He didn’t always read every message they sent in the group chat, especially since they could get rather loud in there. The sentiment all directed at him made him lose his words entirely.

“He’s thankful.” Biff answered for him with a softer smile. “Emotionally constipated idiot. I told you, man. Told you everyone was going to come to the same conclusion. You made a point to reach out to everyone in this room and the first thing you said to them was how you wanted to help them. First impressions aside, did you really think we were just going to take your help without wanting to give it back?”

“Man, you really are dumb if you thought that.” Boyf teased. “It’s okay, you’re still the smartest one. Probably. Blame yourself for getting us so addicted to your hugs. As if we weren’t going to start caring about you when you were so insistent to give out such affection.”

“Dude thought giving hugs to the group of idiots who are suckers for physical touch wasn’t going to make us care about him too.” Beefer snorted. “Are we sure we can call this guy the smartest?”

God I hate all of these idiots… no I don’t. YS thought, almost cringing at how fast he went back on his own thought. “Well it wasn’t originally part of my plan to make you guys care about me, I was making the support network for everyone else. So that you’d care about each other.”

“So you’re extra dumb then, because that was not fucking happening.” Stubbornness, the universal attribute. Peacock was a victim to it as much as the rest were.

So… did he have seven little brothers now? What a chaotic family. YS supposed one of them could have been joking and he just wouldn’t know. If they were serious about it, he was too scared to ask still. They’d have to talk to him about it like Boyf and Beef had. He felt a little guilty for forcing them to be the first to bring it up when realistically he wanted to be able to treat them all the same like that. Talk about being addicted, he was addicted to the idea of being  family. Addicted to being kind to them, addicted to the idea he’d get so much more affection turned his way if he could just be honest and ask about the brother stuff.

They were all looking at him with soft looks, expressions also teasing for some of them.

They’re so determined and happy to do this. YS thought, a twinge of guilt stabbing through his chest. I can’t tell them what I’d planned for the support network when I connected enough of them… They care too much about me now, I can’t tell them I was supposed to be… gone… by now.

They didn’t need to know. That plan had gone out the window weeks ago anyway. YS knew he cared too much, as selfish as it was. But now, knowing how much they cared about him too? He couldn’t. And it was fine. They didn’t need to know the extent of it. It was fine.

YS was sure they could tell how much he cared about them all by now anyways. Apparently he was terrible at hiding the joy from his face.

[magpod-confessions]

Honestly i wanna hear opinions on season 4, cus im gonna confess i could NOT finish it (didnt move on to season 5 either lol). Got to like ep 135 & i just couldnt tell any of the episodes apart it felt like such a drag; just a slog of misery with some offhand Important 5 Minutes once in a blue moon. I hate repetition & i got the sparknotes from fandom/wiki stuff so yeahhh i just stopped listening; i still love TMA & it’s story & characters, it’s just the execution that got to me RIP

Everything felt kinda forced to me ig? Like there was some shoe-horned “humans are more monstrous than the actual monster” that snuffed S1 Jon’s fun cockiness/jackassery just to make him ? The best one in the archive ??? & all of his wrongdoings are either off-screen or justified by him being tricked into becoming a literal monster against his will (who would STARVE w/o his ‘evil-doings’, which didnt even kill ppl). Also felt like everyone got needlessly dumbed down except for Martin (the Love Interest ofc, who got 180’d from his pre-established incompetency to be some mastermind in a playing field he should have REALLY been inept in) just so they’d be blind to Jon’s situation & be mean to him LMAO

They started trying to make Jon accountable for “choosing this” & i couldnt handle it, held no fucking water to me—the guy being explicitly puppetted & manipulated as the entire plot? That guy is expected to take responsibility here? Felt like some after-thought theme they threw on top of it all. Anyways uhh feel free comment either on what i said and/or your personal thoughts on the season, or nothing if ya got nothing lol

🗣️

Ehh disagree. S4 isnt my fav but I dont think its bad. S1 Jon to s4 jon feels like natural character progression to me. He starts as acting all high and mighty to try hide the fact he has no idea what hes doing and is terrified, and then experiences a lot of ppl dying that he feels is due to him and is his responsibility. At that point his thought pattern is 'I keep messing up and making mistakes and getting myself and everyone around me hurt, so other ppl surely know better'. Hes got a lot of black and white thinking around him, which has been consistent throughout his entire characterization

I dont think any characters were dumbed down either

Melanie was always angry, she only go worse bc she had smth making her think everything she did was justified and when that stopped she became avoidant and stopped lashing out. She was still angry, just managing it better

Basira has always been Daisys no1, the person to justify all of Daisys actions. She knows what daisy did and why its bad but she holds onto the idea that daisy is right in doing so. She blames jon for what he does bc logically she knows its wrong, hurting ppl who havent done anything is wrong, but still excuses daisy bc she needs to. Bc that was a fact of her life and it cannot be wrong. In the unknowning she focuses on facts to keep her grounded and to her 'Daisy is a good person' 'Hurting ppl is wrong' and 'If you hurt ppl you are a bad person' are all facts she needs in her life to stay grounded. How she justifies Daisys actions is by saying that the ppl who daisy hurt were worse and it ultimately helps more ppl to have them gone. Not only can she not do that with Jon, as she believes those he hurts are entirely innocent, she also doesnt care to. Shes not close with Jon and she doesnt have 'Jon is a good person' as a fact in her mind, so she doesnt need to work to excuse his actions. Its all or nothing with her, if you hurt and continue hurting ppl, no matter your reason, you need to stop and the only way you will stop is if you are gone. She also has a lot of black and white thinking, gotta love the autism podcast

Martin being a mastermind in s4 also makes sense bc him being stupid is an act. If ppl think your stupid theyll underestimate you and ultimately leave you alone. They wont scrutinize you, they wont attack every part of you, they will brush it off as just a typical normal thing. It will get you ignored and you cannot be hurt if nobody knows who you are or how to hurt you. Its a lonely miserable existence but its one martins used to. Martin rarely drops the mask of 'Sweet but stupid' bc he needs that to survive and tbh he probably learnt that from needing to survive his mom LOL. Martin just knows and picks the best method of getting ppl to like him, which for him is doing exactly what they want and keeping their expectations low so they wont hurt him as much when they mess up. Honestly in s5 I see him as hes finally got to a place where he doesnt care if everyone hates him, bc he has someone who does and thats all he needs. Hes survived the worst of it and he doesnt care anymore

Part of the reason everyone blames Jon is bc he is there and he is the one who is currently causing the most problems. Also they dont actually see the extent that Jon is manipulated. Elias talks and interacts with Jon differently to how he interacts with others. All of them met Jon when he was already at the institute, they meet him when it does actually look like he made his choice, entirely of his own free will. It doesnt help that daisy is there, someone who completed their transformation like Jon did and turned back on it, and she looks like shes managing well enough. She is surviving without feeding so why cant Jon do the same? Also basira does trust elias on some level. She trusts he knows more than she does and can be an asset if used correctly, which definitely doesnt help things. Also the idea of Elias is locked up, he cant affect Jon anymore so why is Jon still acting this way. Elias has very effectively vilified and isolated jon and jon doesnt fight back against it bc he believes it as well. Other ppl are normally right so why wouldnt everyone be right abt him?

Oh my god that was an essay and I absolutely missed sooo much stuff but idk take that - rosette

i literally have nothing to add . rosette sincerely you are insane and i love that . i honestly don't have a lot of s4 opinions that i could really put down , but i also disagree anon . s4 may not have been the best , but it certainly wasn't Bad or not enjoyable to listen to . coming from someone who has listened to the podcast twice now [ and who is planning on a third relisten ] , i really do enjoy s4 as a whole . martin's buildup and his manipulation of peter lukas is honestly one of my favourite parts , because it has been said that martin was originally going to be apart of the mother of puppets ! this shows that part of martin we didn't get to see but has been there . i got distracted and don't remember what else i was gonna type um . whoops - deceit

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 5

i’m sorry i wasn’t here, not just tonight, but every day. i haven’t been here. i know that now.

i know that you just needed me to listen, to hear you. 

maybe you should take a break. and… get help.

where did you find that kind of courage?

i thought if i just kept my head down and followed the rules, everything would be fine.

these people kill with false hope.

sometimes what's painful in the moment is what gets you where you need to go.

i enjoy being better at things than everyone else.

i haven’t felt at home in this world.

remember, i’m still betting on you.

okay, but what about me? i’m not ready.

i would give anything to not give a shit, but i do.

time to forgive yourself, kid. you got a future. you gotta see that now.

some nights are so damn dark. and then they still manage to get darker. 

every time i try to make something right, i always hurt someone.

it’s like i was living for the first time. and once you feel that, you’ll do anything to keep feeling it.

i don’t want you guys to die for me.

i got my rep as the strong, silent type to think about.

we have to be brave in this life we have, simply to exist now.

they can’t hurt me. there’s no one left that i love.

fuck you, you really hurt my feelings.

all we have is what we carry on our backs.

do you trust me or not?

that’s the thing. if they don’t know it was a lie, they get to just live.

i wanted to be brave. i wanted to be more like you.

i’m not brave. i’m a shit person who does shit things because i don’t give a single shit about anything.

so you feel like you didn’t do enough then, now you have to do everything for everyone.

your head is shoved so far up the future’s ass, you’ve completely abandoned the now.

i haven't had a family in a long time, but i have one now.

i fucked it up because i’m fucked up.

you want me to be scared of you. but i’m not.

you shouldn’t come in here. it’s not safe. i’m not safe.

you’re like the most put together person i know.

you can be charming when you’re not angry or hungry.

i didn’t ask for you to rescue me. you did that, for you. 

i’m normal. this is what normal looks like when you’ve had my fucking life.

i don't think it's something you get away with. you still have to live with what you've done.

i’m in this now, and i need to know everything. you owe me that.

how come you never choose me?

you had the guts to do something brave. 

people go through all sorts of stuff, bad things, and they don’t tell anybody.

i worry myself, too.

i just know that i need to make my life count. it’s all i can do.

might’ve been shitty parents, but they’re still your parents.

when we get there, we’ll be different. we’ll be ready. 

you missed me that much?

a lot of hope is dangerous.

i don’t wanna be who everybody thinks i am here. 

it’s the things we love most that destroy us.

you're a good person even with all your bad qualities.

see? we’re good together.

you really think the world’s gonna end?

i’d like for the time i have left on this earth to mean something.

i don’t give a shit anymore. i just want to be a good person.

what if you just want something, and you want it so bad?

i guess we both got what we wanted.

you’re a fucking creep, i’m a fucking catch.

we walked into the darkest place there was, but we did it together.

you’re not bored. your heart’s broken.

i don’t pity you, like at all. i wish i was like you.

she took me straight into the fog of war.

you don’t know everything. and you can’t control me.

you can lie to everyone else, but you can’t lie to me. 

you’re fucking badass.

i love you. can you handle me saying that?

i make a habit of expecting the worst so i won’t get hurt.

i know this is too little, too late, but i’d really like us to be friends.

i sure hope you catch me when i fall. 

why focus on what’s wrong and not what’s right?

your lies, you can’t even keep track of them.

love is a kind of killing, and none of us get out alive.

maybe something good can come from something bad.

there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls. 

remember half an hour ago when you wanted to murder me? 

that’s all we are the whole time, shells with nothing inside.

please, can you just talk to me? anything you need, just say the word.

i keep blaming everyone, but it was me. it was my fault.

yeah, maybe fire and gasoline can hang out.

it is so easy to find yourself in dark places.

what’s right is that i feel something for you that i just don’t feel anywhere else with anyone else.

i’m going to have to take that risk.

you said it yourself, you don’t remember what happened. is it so hard for you to believe you might be innocent? 

you know what the worst part is? i really thought i had good instincts.

you’re right, you don’t owe me shit, but i’m asking you anyway. 

i could’ve been nicer. i could’ve been less of a monster.

we grew apart from each other. we’re two different people now.

you’re both sad and lonely. you’re a perfect match.

maybe we just needed to work through the bad to get to the good.

you were right. everything is cursed.

god, you are so gruesome. 

you take me for everything i’m worth.

it’s okay if you’re scared.

are you trying to get me to forgive and forget?

[smilingformoney]

Rickmas 2023: Day 15. Cards and Coals | PL/Reader

AN: This one dedicated to @serenanight87 who keeps begging for more smut and is definitely getting coal in her stocking this year 😏

Content warning: set in a rehab clinic, mentions of suicide

Read now on Ao3 or below the cut:

You had been in the rehab clinic for a little over three months now, and it was starting to look like you were going to be there over Christmas too. You could always discharge yourself, of course, as you were there voluntarily, but really you knew it was the right thing to stick around.

You were alone in the rec room, writing out a Christmas card to your family with a cigarette between your lips, when you heard the voice of one of the orderlies showing a new patient around.

“Oh, and there’s [Y/n]! Her room is right across from yours. [Y/n], you’ve got a new neighbour! This is Paul.”

You looked up to see that your new neighbour was a man in his late forties and strikingly handsome with a mop of blonde hair.

“Everyone calls me PL,” the handsome man said. He seemed stable enough, but then again so did a lot of people in this place until something went wrong.

“Well, how about I leave you two to get to know each other?” the orderly said before scurrying off, leaving you alone with PL.

You leaned back and looked him up and down as he sat down across the table from you with a sigh.

“Let’s see…” you said thoughtfully. “Suicide attempt?”

PL raised an eyebrow at you. “What makes you think that?”

“I have a radar for these sorts of things,” you grinned. “What’d you do?”

“Would you believe me if I said I was innocent?”

You laughed.

“Go on, you can tell me, it gets out eventually. I’ll show you mine, look.”

You pushed back your hair slightly to show him an angry red mark on the side of your head.

“My mam always did say I had a thick skull. Can’t even shoot myself right.”

PL stared at you, flabbergasted. “You shot yourself and survived?”

“Bullet couldn’t get past my skull. Rubbish bullet, if you ask me. Go on, then. I showed you mine, you show me yours.”

“I really didn’t try to kill myself,” PL insisted. “I slipped and fell into the bay. Doctors wouldn’t listen when I said it was an accident.”

“Ah… so you’re here involuntarily. Good luck with that! You’ll never get out.” You took a last puff from your cigarette and stumped it out. You glanced down at his hands, which were fidgeting slightly on the table. “Got a wife outside?” you asked.

“No. Got a husband?”

You scoffed. “Nope. Wanna fuck?”

“Do you proposition every newcomer here?”

“Nah. Just the hot ones. How about it? It has been a very long three months.”

PL looked you up and down, then shrugged. “Alright.”

***

A few minutes later, having dodged being spotted going back to the same room by an orderly, the door to your room closed behind you as PL pushed you up against it and locked his lips against yours. You opened your lips to let his tongue slip past, and already his hands were on your body, grabbing hungrily at you. You were horny and lonely, and he was hot, so you grabbed at him too, your lips separating briefly as you both pulled your tops off.

PL hesitated, staring at your body, one hand on your hip while the other caressed your breast through your bra.

“How old are you?” he asked quietly.

“Twenty-five. You?”

“Forty-nine. That alright?”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

He bent down on one knee and began nuzzling at your breasts, his nose caressing your skin as his tongue teased along the edge of your bra. He unzipped your trousers and pulled them down to your knees, causing you to gasp as the cold air hit your skin. His fingers danced along the edge of your knickers, then slid past to caress your lower lips.

Not having had sex in three months, you hadn’t groomed in all that time, but that didn’t seem to bother him. PL pulled down the cup of your bra and attached his lips to your nipple, at the same time pushing a finger up into you, easily aided by the liquid that had been pooling down there since you’d first laid eyes on him.

“Oh, fuck - PL…” you gasped, surprised that he was taking his time to explore you before even unzipping his trousers. You’d expected him to just ram it in as soon as he could, like every guy you’d ever been with before, but he seemed to be actually enjoying exploring your body.

Another finger joined the first, and you let out an embarrassing little whine when he scissored open his fingers, stretching your walls out. He let out a satisfied hum when he heard how much you were enjoying it, then with his spare hand he reached around your chest to unclasp your bra, which you promptly tossed aside.

PL released your breast from his mouth with a pop, leaving a shiny red mark behind around your nipple. He looked up at you, his amber eyes alight with mischief, and began thrusting his fingers up into you rapidly.

You cried out, and he had the nerve to shush you.

“Don’t want anyone to hear us, do we?” he said quietly, nodding at the door you were currently pressed up against.

“Bed,” you managed to say.

“If you insist.”

He withdrew his fingers from inside you, helped you step out of your trousers, and chuckled when you eagerly scurried over to your bed, which was hopefully far enough away that any orderlies walking by wouldn’t hear you. They never heard you touching yourself, or if they did they ignored it, but by the size of the bulge in PL’s trousers, you suspected you were going to be feeling a lot more pleasure today.

You sat on the side of the bed, and as soon as he got close enough, you hooked your finger under his waistband and pulled him closer.

“Someone’s eager,” he chuckled.

“Someone hasn’t been fucked in three months,” you replied with a grumble.

“Is that what you want?”

PL grabbed your wrists in his hands, stilling your fumbling attempts to get his trousers off.

“Do you want me to fuck you, [Y/n]?”

You looked up at him, and your cross expression only made him laugh.

“Yes. I think I made that pretty clear. Fucking ruin me, PL.”

“And you’re just across the hall from me…” PL said thoughtfully. He released your wrists from his grip, only to squeeze your cheeks to open your mouth, and he slid his fingers past your lips, and you tasted yourself on him.

“Suck me clean,” he growled. “Go on, I want to see how skilled you are with those lips of yours.”

You obeyed, wrapping your lips around his fingers entirely, your tongue running up and down his digits to lick your juices from his fingers. He watched you with a burning desire in his eyes while you took the opportunity while he was distracted to pull his trousers down, and you couldn’t help gasping around his fingers when his cock bounced out of his boxers. You could tell from his bulge that he was big, but you hadn’t realised he was that big.

PL chuckled and withdrew his fingers from your mouth. You reached for his cock, your mouth already open to take him, but he pulled your head back.

“Ah-ah,” he said, shaking his head. “If you do that, I might well finish before we get started. You said you wanted to fuck, and fuck we shall. Get on your back.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you said obediently, pushing yourself up the bed to lay your head on the pillows.

A strange look crossed PL’s face. “Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, sorry. Just slipped out.”

“It’s alright.” He pulled the rest of his clothes off until he was as naked as you, then climbed on top of you, crushing you beneath him with his weight, and you felt the tickle of his cockhead brushing against your thigh. His lips grazed against your neck, and he held your body flush against his, as if he knew how much the pressure of lying underneath him turned you on.

“Twenty-five, you say?” he mumbled as he raised his head to look at you.

“Yes,” you replied breathily, wondering why he was age checking you again.

“And you… know your parents?”

“God, I talk about them enough during therapy every week, I don’t want to talk about them now,” you complained, your hips wriggling underneath him as your cunt tried desperately to seek him out.

“But you do know them?”

You frowned at him. He was being completely bloody serious.

Well, maybe he was nuts enough to be here after all.

“Yeah, yeah, I know them. They’re paying for me to be here.”

“Alright.”

He slowly thrust his hips forward, his cock sliding against you, just missing where you wanted him, and you whined in frustration.

“PL, please, please, oh my god, I fucking need you to fuck me. Please, please…” You begged, almost crying with need, and PL sighed.

“Alright, alright! Jesus.”

He reached down between you and took his cock in his hand to guide it to your entrance.

“Yes, yes, PL, please, fuck - fuck!” You gasped as he finally, finally entered you, his girth stretching you out so sweetly as he sheathed himself inside you.

PL let out a long moan of satisfaction when he bottomed out inside you.

“Oh, that feels so good,” you sighed with relief, feeling that sweet burn you’d missed so much. And was it just because you’d gone so long without sex, or was the stretch even better than you remembered? Then again, PL was definitely the biggest cock you’d ever taken, and it felt fucking fantastic.

He began thrusting inside you, slowly, and he pushed himself up so that he was looking down at you, and all you could see above you was him, his gorgeous hairless chest and his pleasure-addled expression.

“Faster,” you begged, your hips trying fruitlessly to thrust up against him from below, but he had you too trapped to give you any space to move. “Please, faster, faster…”

“Hungry little thing, aren’t you?” PL smirked.

“Yes! Yes, I’m fucking desperate, PL, please. You can fuck me slowly some other time, we’ve got months, but I really need to be railed, please.”

“Alright, then.”

You groaned in relief as his hips snapped faster against yours, finally bringing you the pleasure you’d been craving so desperately. He felt so damn good inside you, just big enough to stretch you out without hurting, and when he sat up on his knees a little more, his angle changed and his cockhead found your G-spot, causing you to cry out in pleasure.

“Thought we didn’t want to get caught?” PL smirked.

“Don’t - care - fuck, that’s so good - god, you’re gonna make me cum so hard, PL…”

“Is that a promise?”

“Yes!”

PL grinned and threw his head back, his eyes closed, and you both lost yourselves in the ecstasy of your violent pleasure. There was nothing else in the world, nothing at all, just you and him and the smacking of his skin against yours, your groans and breathy mutterings of yes and please and so good.

Your groans peaked into a cry of pleasure when you felt PL’s thumb pressing at your clit, rubbing around the juices that were leaking from where the two of you joined. You grabbed at his thighs, desperate for more of him, and your nails dug into his skin as you felt an explosion of pleasure within you, causing your entire body to violently shake as you came harder than you had in what felt like an age.

With a gorgeous girl underneath him, screaming his name as she writhed in pleasure, what else could PL do but cum? Your channel clenched around him as he shot his seed inside you and you milked him dry for all he had. His groan was deep, guttural, animalistic and absolutely fucking beautiful.

He dropped your legs, his energy spent, and had to stop himself from collapsing on top of you, as much as you wanted his body weight on you.

“Fucking hell, [Y/n],” he panted. “I’d have gone to rehab a lot earlier if I’d known this was what it was like.”

You laughed. “A bunch of sad, isolated fucked up people confined to one building - what did you think was gonna happen?”

PL pulled out of you and rolled over to prop himself up on his elbow next to you. “And you say you’ve not fucked since you got here?”

You shrugged. “Doesn’t feel right… like I’m taking advantage of their vulnerability, y’know? But you’re hot, and you’re not supposed to be here either, so I figured it’s alright. Hang on, I gotta go to the bathroom.”

When you returned, PL was unfortunately now wearing his boxer shorts again, but he was still on your bed, so you took that as a win.

“What do you mean, I’m not supposed to be here either?” he asked curiously.

You froze in the middle of climbing underneath the blanket. Oh, damn. You hadn’t meant to say that.

Your hand flew to your scar instinctively, and you sighed.

“I didn’t shoot myself,” you admitted. “I said I did it myself to cover for the person who did.” You looked up at him urgently. “Don’t tell anyone, please. I don’t want him to go to prison.”

“Him?”

“Not the kind of him you’re thinking. We’re related, let’s leave it at that.”

PL glanced away, his eyes looking distant for a brief moment, then he shook his head as if to shake off whatever thought had crossed his mind.

“I should be ready to go again in about ten minutes if you like,” he suggested. “Since you’re so determined to set the speed, maybe you can take charge this time.”

“Are you asking me to ride you, PL?” you asked flirtatiously. “You are a naughty one, aren’t you?”

“Santa’s definitely bringing me coal for my stocking this year.”

You laughed. “Alright. You know, I think we’re going to have a lot of fun here.”

[thesetrashimagines]

You’re a Curse Baby Pt.9

A Jujutsu Kaisen Imagine (reader insert)

Warnings: mentions of suicide/self sacrifice, fighting,

GIF IS NOT MINE!

Pt.8

AN: Hey guys.....so it's been 3 years....my life has completely changed since I started this fic and I'm very sorry to have paused it for so long. But I've had the urge to get back into writing. This will be the last part of the series that follows the OG storyline. I'll be going off-script and into a new timeline written by me😈. Hope y'all are ready for a new chapter (and hopefully not too many slow updates) sorry for the extreme authors note but you deserved to know lmao.

“You still okay back there?” Gojo jostled you, neither of you have spoken for quite awhile. The storm overhead was mostly gone, nothing but an overcast left to show your mood. You wordlessly nodded against his shoulder. “You wanna tell me what’s been going on?” He turned to take the path that led back to the old shrine. “I figured out how to exercise other curses.....along with myself.” The white haired man’s step faltered, “That patchwork curse, he can manipulate souls and since I can touch souls and go through memories, I thought maybe I could also manipulate souls. I was able to make contact with his soul and during our fight I could feel our energies merging so I started to use my energy to exercise him.” Gojo stayed quiet as you spoke, “He had a strong grip on me so I decided it would be best if I killed both of us. It was easy, all I had to do was turn our cursed energy into life energy and then let our souls slowly dwindle.” The older man stepped over pieces of the broken temple. “But you were unsuccessful.” You nodded against his back again.

“Yes he has much more experience with souls then I do, he was able to pull away.” You let one hand go back and rub at your sore eyes, “After the mission my body was weak, probably the weakest it’s ever been. I tried to heal myself and repair my soul at the same time.” Gojo spoke, “That doesn’t sound very smart.” You slumped against his back, “No it wasn’t. My body couldn’t take the constant rise and fall of my energy. Every piece of my soul that came back, my cursed energy doubled, and since I was using it to also heal my wounds, it would fall back down to a low level.” You looked over to the old broken temple, “I thought it would be okay since I knew I’d be here, the less energy the less I’d be detected.” Gojo slowed to a stop and turned his head back to you, “And?” You stared back at his black blindfold, “I pushed everything down, my energy came back tenfold and tore through all of the walls I put up, it made me panic and I ran into the woods outside of the event. I bumped into some low grade curses, they had me trapped and unable to move so I did the only thing I could and let my energy free again. I might’ve accidentally started a fire.” Gojo laughed and placed you on your feet, “From what I seen and heard, you’ve caused a few fires.” You looked at your hands sheepishly, “Yeah...” The sorcerer watched as your eyebrows pinched together, “But that’s not when I lost control.” Your hands shook, “My emotions....that curse said that it was there to kill you and hurt everyone else. I couldn’t stop myself from feeling scared, then I got angry, so angry.” Your voice became small and quiet, “I wanted to kill them. I was so blind with rage I almost-” Your hand smack over your mouth as a sob escaped your lips.

Gojo watched as guilt and shame over took you, your sobs echoed throughout the forest as you crumbled to the floor. It was obvious you felt bad for whatever had happened. “What did you almost do Y/n?” Your hands planted themselves on the ground as you leaned forward, tears fell from your eyes and drop to the soil, little wet patches spotted the dirt. You heaved and hiccupped, Gojo went to your side and sat down, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “I almost- I almost killed Yuji.” Your resolve had completely broken, the storm had come back loud and unforgiving, the rain fell to the Earth in fat droplets and thunder rumbled. To Gojo’s surprise there was no lightning dancing across the sky, had you exhausted yourself? He turned his eyes back to you and saw your hands covering your face as you cried, small purple tentacles played on your skin and hopped from tear drop to tear drop that rolled down your hands and arms. He looked at the hand he had on your back, the little sparks flitted about, halting themselves before getting to close to his skin. He finally understood.

“You’re scared of yourself.” His words caused you to curl further into yourself, “You didn’t kill Yuji, he’s fine.” Your head shook violently, “Gojo I almost killed him!” You finally turned to look at him, your face was wet with tears, eyes almost grey in colour and rimmed red. The blood and dirt on your face was close to being gone from your tears and constant rubbing. “But you didn’t.” Your face scrunched up and your hands lifted into the air, “Don’t you understand?! I almost killed him! I almost took his life away! Again! They were right, I’m a monster, a good for nothing curse!” Your head dropped back into your hands as you continued to ramble,  “He tackled me to the ground and I thought I was getting attacked again, I almost hit him...” You clenched your eyes shut, “His eyes, he looked at me with so much fear, he was scared of me...” The first flash of lightening darted across the sky.

“You didn’t kill him though. You were able to stop yourself.” A hand grabbed onto yours and pulled them away from your face. “And from how I saw the two of you were after the fight, I would guess he understood that you were acting on instincts.” Gojo tilted his head down to try and meet your eyes, “It’s normal to act on instincts, that’s kinda what they’re made for.” When you didn’t react to his little quip, he knew you were still shaken. “What if next time I can’t stop myself?” Your eyes fluttered up to his. “Do you want to hurt Yuji?” Your eyebrows furrowed, “No.” A smile spread on Gojo’s face, “Then you don’t have to worry about that.” He leaned back on his hands, “It’s a good thing I have my infinity on,” You looked up and realized how dry he was compared to you and the surrounding area, “Or I’d look like a wet rat like you.” You sniffled and smirked. A hand came down to your shoulder, “Don’t sell yourself short Y/n, You’re stronger than you think.” He groaned a little as he stood up.

“You may be a curse but there is a streak of humanity in you.” He bent at the waist, “How bout we train after the exchange event? Hm? Just you and me.” A small smile graced your features, “Okay...” He straightened up with a shout, “Alright!” The sun peered back down over the forest, glistening off of the rain drops. Gojo turned and started to walk away, “Come on baby curse, we still have an event to finish!” He put his arms behind his head as he walked forward, you dawdling on behind him like a baby duck. He wasn’t worried you would snap, you were too worried about keeping him and the others safe and happy. He knew why you were constantly trying to please him, you were created on the feelings of abandonment and among many other emotions but he knew you would do anything to stay with him and his students. You were loyal and you would rather die then you break it. Yes you were a ticking bomb at times but nothing like a few words helped you calm down. The bond and trust you had with Gojo and his students was incredible. Gojo knew of your attachment to the them but he’d be lying if he didn’t say he was a little attached to you too.

-----------------------------------------

“So how is it possible that you get along with a gorilla like Todo?” Nobara nibbled on her pizza. “Well the two of us got along but it was like, I mean I do remember everything but it feels like I wasn’t exactly myself at the time.” Megumi looked uninterested in Yuji’s and Nobara’s conversation, his eyes drifted over to you where you sat off to the side staring down at your lap. You haven’t said a word or moved since Gojo came in and placed you in the chair, something was obviously bothering you but Megumi wasn’t sure how to ask.

“What do you mean? Were you drinking?” The girls voice brought him back to reality.

“You seriously believe I could’ve been drinking liquor in a situation like that? That would’ve been insane.” Yuji turned his attention to Megumi, “Anyways I’m just glad your injuries weren’t too serious Fushiguro, to your health and this pizza.” Yuji took a large bite from his slice while Nobara had another small piece. The dark haired boy looked between his friends, “You guys could’ve brought me something easier to digest.”

“No complaining.” Nobara spoke with her mouth open.

“Apparently I got off easier because my cursed was all gone and Ieiri was able to fix me up as soon as the roots were removed.” Megumi saw your ears perk up at the mention of his injuries. “Oh so that’s what happened?” Yuji swallowed his food. “You should know, you fought against them too didn’t you?” The pink haired boy nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “Itadori,” Megumi turned to Yuji who paused with his mouth open midbite, “You know you’ve grown a lot stronger. Before we both said that we stood by our convictions, I still think that’s true. But then on the other hand you could we’re both wrong about all of that.” Out of the corner of his eye, Megumi saw you turn you head slightly towards him, dimly glowing grey lilac eyes watching him. “Some question don’t have any answers,” Nobara placed her face on her palm, “Don’t think so hard, you’ll go bald.” Megumi sighed, “You’re right. I know it’s just a matter of trying to accept it.” He looked down at his bedding, “But why accept something you don’t want, only weak sorcerers do that. So I’ve decided,” His dark eyes met Yuji’s brown ones, “I’ll surpass you.” Yuji let out a laugh, “You never change.” Nobara looked at the two boys annoyed, “Did I get left out of the conversation again?”

“I don’t think it makes you weak.” The trio turned to look at you, “Wouldn’t not knowing the answer make you strong? Since you are constantly looking for it, wouldn’t that make you brave? Or that one word, um...courageous?”

Nobara let out a bit of air, “Why does the curse always sound so wise.” You all laughed a little.

“There you go, that’s my brother and his friends for ya.”

You let out a yelp and fell off your chair, Todo had shown up out of nowhere at the end of Megumi’s bed. Yuji shot out of his seat and ran for the door, Todo hot on his tail. “Wait where are you going brother? Wait hold on!” The two sprinted, “Look I’m grateful for you but come on, give me a break!” Yuji jumped onto the roof.

-----------------------------------------

The sun beat down on you as you sat in the dugout. “I can tell somethings been bothering you.” You tore your eyes off of Yuji and looked at Megumi in surprise, “I mean no one was okay after that fight but it seems like there’s something else going on with you.” You glanced down at the white baseball uniform you were forced to put on, “I feel like I betrayed everyone.” Megumi tried not to let shock cover his face. “Before the exchange event I did something I never thought I could do....I almost exercised my own soul.” Megumi’s eyes widened this time, “What do you m-”

“In the moment I thought it was the best plan. Afterwards though my cursed energy was extremely low, I was barely alive. The healing process was difficult, I was using my cursed energy to heal myself and try to repair the damage I had caused to my essence. I guess the constant use of my energy to heal and for my soul to regenerate was too much for me, it was like being in a tsunami, one minute the tide was low and then the next my senses would flood and every wall I put up was being destroyed.” You took a deep breath, “The days leading up to the exchange event I buried everything down and decided I would try to deal with it later but when I was in those woods...” Your mind wandered back to when you were almost consumed by the flower curse, “I ran into some curses outside of the perimeter and I was trapped. Since I buried everything, I could feel all of it pushing against the blockades, it was like I was the storm this time.” Megumi watched you pick at the fabric of your shorts, “I lost control...” Your fingers gripped the white fabric, “Then I lost it again when I was fighting that curse. I was so angry, so filled with hate, all I felt was kill. Kill, kill ,kill, there wasn’t another thought in my mind. They wanted to hurt you, Gojo, everyone and I couldn’t let that happen.” The dark haired sorcerer stared at you for awhile then ruffled your hair, “You’re okay now, we all are. You were able to pull yourself back and that’s what matters.” You swatted his hand away which made him chuckle. He and Gojo had said the same thing, you were able to snap out of it and that makes you strong. Even with their encouraging words there’s still a looming fear that sits at the back of your mind. What if you can’t stop yourself next time? You never want someone to look at you in fear, like Yuji had, ever again.

“Kugisaki snapped! It’s a free for all!” Yuji’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.

------------------------------------------

You were playing outfield, furthest away and closest to the tree line. The first few plays went well but then there was another home run. Hit straight into the forest behind you, of course you wanted to win so you ran as fast as you could into the woodland. You could just see the ball soaring through the sky, smacking into leaves so hard they detached from the branches and fell to the ground. Your neck strained as you stared up at the flying sphere, you were right underneath it but then your sight was filled with brown then green then blackness. Your foot throbbed just a tiny bit, lifting your head up from the ground you noticed a tree root had tripped you up. Letting out a groan you pushed yourself up, "Stupid tree." Standing you looked around the forest for the ball. There was no sight of the white sphere.

"I lost it..." Pouting, you continued to walk around the trees in search for the baseball. In the distance you could hear leaves rustling, thinking it was someone on your team you called out, "Hey! Did you find it?" Running towards the noise, you pushed some branches out of the way and ended up in a small clearing. The sun peaked through the treetops and shined down on a large mass hunched over. It had large shoulders, the flesh stretched over muscle, the bones of its spine poked out from under it's skin, it's thighs were as large as you were, maybe even bigger, covering it was tattered pieces of a dirtied pink fabric. From where you were standing you couldn't see it's face, it's hunched over form obscured whatever you might've seen of the front of its body.

At the sound to your voice, the creatures head shot up. Long dark brown hair flinging around wildly before settling on the creatures big shoulders. It didn't turn towards you, just sat on its haunches, back stiff straight. A small voice came from the creatures direction, "What's wrong Mama?" A little pale blue boyish face peeked around the creatures large knee. Big round eyes gawked at the sight of you, and just when you made eye contact, the little boy disappeared behind the creature again. "Mama someone's here." The young voice wavered a bit. The long brown hair shifted forward and fell down as the creature looked down at the small boy then the creature let out a chuff and whined. Clenching your hands tight in nervousness, you spoke, "I'm sorry for scaring you, I promise I'm not here to hurt you. I've lost a ball and I need to find it." The large creature flinched at the sound of your voice and curled it's massive arms around, what you could only assume, the little boy in front of it. Despite the grip on the boy, he managed to wriggle to his way above the large forearms and looked at you again. "This ball?" He raised his small hand and in it sat your baseball. You nodded, "Yeah that one! You found it! Could I have it back?" The large round eyes filled with tears, "But I don't wanna give it back." The boy started to cry causing the creature to swaddle him and, for the first time, you saw the creatures face as it threw a glare over it's shoulder at you. She had a light brown eyes, a large brow bone which was furrowed as she glared at you, a button shaped nose, and a pair of pink lips which were set in a deep frown.

You swallowed, "Oh, um....I'm sorry but I need the ball to play my game" The little boys blue image fazed out and reappeared out of the large creatures arms a couple feet away from both of you. The small boy had a giant smile on his face as he let out a laugh and waved the ball in the air, "If you want it, then you're gonna have to catch me!" And with that he turned and sprinted in the direction you came from. You threw a quick glance towards the creature and she stared dumbstruck just like you did, both of you in disbelief over the child's rebellion. You looked back to where the boy once stood and made the realization, "he's running towards everyone..." The creature next to you whipped her head and stared at you wide eyed, she knew what you meant, the boy was running to the field, with all of the humans. In a second she was gone, her large form lumbering through the trees and shaking the ground as she went. You didn't wait too long after before you also took off to catch the boy.

"Wait! Please! They'll see you!" You yelled ahead hoping the creature and the little boy would stop, but neither of them did. If anything, the little boy ran faster. The creature let out a loud vocalization, something between a yell and a grunt, you assumed it was her way to communicate with the boy that he should listen and stop running. "It's dangerous! Please I just want the ball back!"

"No! Your stupid ball is mine!" A childish giggle sung out into the woods.

You groaned and doubled down on your speed. Your body ached a bit from the excessive use it had already been put through, but you knew if this boy or his 'Mama' were seen by any of the sorcerers, they'd be eradicated.

You could see the edge of the treeline coming up quickly, the creature in front of you must've seen it too cause she pushes off her haunches and leeped forward, grabbing the small boy and skidding to a halt. You caught up to them, you and 'Mama' huffing. "Please, please can I have the ball back?" The little boy wriggled and started whining, "No! Mama let me go! I wanna go!" His little feet dangled in the air as the creature held him above the ground. "Its dangerous out here, there's people who'll make you go away, forever. It's not safe to run around in these woods." You tried to reason with the little boy but was not having it. "You're lying! You're just saying that so I give you the ball back!" Once again his corporeal image fazed out of the space, the creature let out a loud yell as she turned 360 for her little blue boy.

"NA NA NA NA YOU CANT CATCH ME!"

Off in the distance, out in the baseball field, stood the child spirit. The cursed creature put a fist into the ground to push herself forward but you were faster.

"There you are Y/n!" Yuji's voice rang out as you broke out the treeline and ran straight towards the boy. Everyone stared as your knees hit the ground and curled your arms around an invisible body. You ignored everyone as you could feel the ground shaking from thundering steps. You let out the tiniest bit of energy to tether the little boy to you.

A loud yell is heard behind you, so close your hair flies about from the air expelled. Mama was not happy. "I've got him! I've got him, look, look" You turn and show the cursed creature the little boy in your hold.

"Y/N!" Multiple foot falls start approaching you. Whipping your head around you see Yuji rushing over to you. "No! Stay back, everything's okay!" The creature raised a fist and slammed it into the ground next to you, the little boy curled further into your arms and started to wail, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just wanted to have fun....I never get to play with anybody!" His little body shook with the tears and 'Mama' only got more angry. Her large fist was raised and ready to strike you, seeing as now you have officially become a threat. But before she's able to strike, Yuji is able to slide between the two of you and punch her. "Yuji don't!" You gasped as the creature stumbled backwards. Yuji advanced, "Don't attack her!" Your arms tightened around the little boy as his cries only grew louder.

"MAMA NO! MAMAAAA!"

You unwrapped one arm from the boy and shot a purple bolt out, aimed at Yuji.

‐-------------------------‐-------------------------------------------------

Hey, how y'all doin'?😗 so ye, here part 9. I'm so sorry if it's shit and not the updated you wanted. I've had a huge change in my life and writing quickly got put on the back burner. I really am hoping I find the motivation to continue and finish this story. Let me know you liked this chapter! Much love <3

[nsfwitchy2]

I am very tired and very nauseous so idk if I will word this the way I want to but like,,,,

It’s real. Weird. To me how many people will reblog posts about supporting all queer people and supporting all trans people, and then talk about how they don’t wanna vote because Biden has done this or that terrible thing.

Like…. Idk man. If you can’t put aside your personal morals for .5 seconds to make sure a dictator isn’t put in charge of the country, I actually do question how much you care about your fellow man.

There are tons of people in this world I do not like, or I do not agree with. I think republican women and republican gays are the dumbest motherfuckers on this planet - but if I found myself in a position where I could choose to help one of them, or let them suffer - I would still choose to help them because that’s my fellow man. That’s another human being. I would be willing to put aside my personal feelings on this persons morals and ethics to acknowledge they are a person who needs saving.

And if you can’t put aside your personal morals and ethics for a fraction of a second to acknowledge that, at the end of the day, our options are a guy who wants to kill all minorities or a guy who could be doing better but isn’t actively trying to kill everyone - I genuinely question how much solidarity you have to your fellow humans. I don’t think you’re performing activism anymore, I think you’re angry and you don’t care who you hurt with that anger. You’d rather give up than acknowledge the world has gray areas and sometimes doing the right thing is uncomfortable and makes you feel icky inside.

[reneeluv154]

Anger

I hope you enjoy it!!!🤍🤍🤍

In this imagine you made it to the safe haven and newt helps you through your emotions while your still struggling with the loss of the others.

(More on my profile if you enjoy this one.) 🫶🏼🫶🏼

⚠️Tw: mentions of suicide⚠️

I stared at Newt, glaring at him through the flames of fire between us. We were finally in the safe haven and everyone was happy, everyone but me. I couldn’t remember the last time I truly smiled, or really felt anything for that matter. How could they be smiling and laughing?

We lost so many wonderful lives and they were just over it? I didn’t understand. Having Gally back was relieving, he was never the nicest person, to anyone, but he had grown, and it showed.

“Y/n, you good?” Minho questioned, Newt’s eyes locked with mine and I quickly looked away. “Yeah.” I sounded cold and mean, I held a little bit of anger against them, I just didn’t understand how they were okay. It was selfish, the others would have loved to be here. Yes, we carved their names on the rock but it just didn’t feel like enough. They deserved so much more.

I stood grabbing one of Gally’s drinks while walking towards the beach. I made it to the shore leaving the dancing and laughter behind. I sat down and stared out upon the endless ocean. I wished I could dig deep into my heart, take my pain, and let it drift out into the sea.

“I miss you guys, It’s not the same without you here.” I scoffed, taking a swig. “I’m so fucking angry, why not me. I wanted to die.” I said looking from the sky to the ground.

I whispered, “I still wanna die.”

“Pretty isn’t it?” I jumped hearing the all too familiar voice of a brown-eyed blonde-haired boy. He sat down beside me staring up at the starry sky.

“Yeah, gorgeous.” I agreed.

“I heard you talking.” I was drowning in embarrassment and grief.

“I just want them to know.” He nodded now it was his turn to take a swig. “They know Y/n, they're watching us every day.”

I shook my head.

“That’s supposed to make it easier?”

He shrugged, “Maybe a little, yes. I’m not saying you can’t mourn, because you can, but you’ve gotta learn to move on.” This made me angry.

“Like you? Five fucking day’s after they were gone.”

He looked at me, clenching his jaw, his eyes were angry. “I had to stay strong for you and the others, I’m bloody hurt Y/n. I’ve been hurt for a long, long time! You don’t get to tell me I was a bad person when I was just trying to keep you and the others alive!” He blew up on me, his voice louder and bolder than ever.

I couldn't look at him, the tears in my eyes rolling down my cheeks. Maybe I should kill myself, He would stay strong so the others would be okay, right? They wouldn't miss me, not like I bring anything good to the group. I would get to see the others as well. “I know that look Y/n, I can see it in your eyes, I’ve seen it in your eyes for a long time and I promise you it won’t make anything better.”

How did he know…

“I’m sure y'all would be fine.”

He shook his head. “Nope, we wouldn't.”

“I’m just so angry.” I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. I sat for a minute looking at the sky when I realized. “It’s like I’m the moon and the stars are everyone in my life.” “

“I think you’ve had a tad too much to drink Y/n.”

“No. The moon and the stars adorn each other. Without the stars, the moon is just the moon.”

“Follow me.”

He stood and began walking, I walked up and stood beside him in front of a cluster of rocks. “I want you to throw that bottle as hard as you can, letting it shatter against those rocks.”

“What?” I asked

He nodded, “Scream as loud as you want, you can even cry if you’d like. Here I’ll give you my glass too.”

I shook my head. “The others will think something is wrong.”

“They can’t hear you from here.” He handed me the glass and backed up sitting on a log behind him.

“Go on. Let it out.”

Taking a moment I took the glass throwing it as hard as I could at the biggest rock there was, it shattered.

A tear ran down my cheek as I grabbed the other glass watching it fly through the air and shatter just as the other one did.

It felt too good tears now pouring down my face, I searched for anything to throw picking up smaller rocks and shells.

“Aghhhhhhh!!!!” I screamed as loud as I could feeling a sharp pain through my head, but I couldn’t stop,

“They should be here!!!”

“I loved them!!!”

“I should have hugged you when I had the chance!!!” I sobbed, still throwing whatever I could find before I ran out of breath and fell to my knees. “It should have been me!” I felt a gentle hand on my back, another on my cheek pulling me into himself.

“Shhh, that's not true love.”

I cried for a long time, even after Newt carried me back to my hut and tucked me in before he sat down in a chair beside my bed to keep an eye on me and calm me down.” I eventually fell asleep having a strong headache but also a sense of emotional relief.