#it's literally about a shitty relationship and reminds me So much about my favorite characters in this media and their relationship

[littlemisssatanist]

my acotar unpopular opinions

taking this time to come out as an acotar reader. yes i've read all the books and i've spent way too much time thinking about it. i enjoy the books in the sense that i enjoy hating on many of the characters and loving a few of the others.

be forewarned inner circle fans. you will not like this.

rhysand is not a 'morally grey' character. he's a rapist and a groomer. he sexually assaulted feyre utm, he groomed her (reminder that she was 19 in acotar), and he withheld important medical information from her. 'you'll always have a choice' my ass.

nesta telling feyre about her pregnancy was not a bad thing. why do people act like it is? 'oh she did it to hurt feyre' hurt her by doing what? revealing the lies that her beloved husband had woven? revealing the fact that she'd die giving birth? the fact that rhysand told literally everybody but feyre?

mor is not the champion for women everyone thinks she is. this i will give to sjm it is truly impressive to make a character like women and still be a pick me. i'm not even going to go into her whole weird ass relationship with her dad (i still don't understand why she wouldn't just kill him. 'oh rhys needed the army' rhys is supposed to be the most powerful high lord ever. either admit he's a fucking loser or give me an actual good reason for this) or the fact she's seemingly incapable of doing anything to help the women in the court of nightmares, but everytime she was mentioned, i had to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples.

on a similar topic. i liked eris. like a lot. out of all the acotar characters sjm has written, eris is by far my favorite.

the inner circle needs to sit the fuck down. they are the most hypocritical bitches i've ever met. they like to think themselves high and mighty. reading them make fun of lucien's band of exiles while their name is literally 'court of dreamers' was the most infuriating thing ever. and then they have the gall to be insulted when called out. don't dish what you can't take.

out of all the inner circle, the only one i don't hate is azriel. this is simply because he is the only one who hasn't opened his big fat mouth and done something bad (except if you maybe count his whole thing with elain). cassian is on my hit list. it's on sight with cassian.

nessian is sjm's worst ship and i will stand by that. lucien/nesta could have been so much. 'nesta would have ripped lucien apart' and cassian was your first choice? not even azriel was considered? like be so for real right now. sjm didn't see the potential of lucien/nesta and i will forever mourn that.

sjm is a terrible writer. i'm not saying this to be mean but she seriously just sucks at it. that being said i admire her ability to still make millions of dollars off her shitty writing. as a woman, i am rooting for her. as a reader, every day i wake up a shoot a prayer to the heavens begging the gods to not let sjm write any more books from the inner circle's pov.

lucien/elain is better than azriel/elain. argue with the wall.

eris/azriel is better than azriel/elain. you can kiss my ass.

NESTA/ERIS IS BETTER THAN RHYSAND/FEYRE. i know this because i have been enlightened.

feyre is a victim to rhysand. that being said, she is also a major bitch. both can be true because these things are not mutually exclusive. i wish she could make friends outside of the ic like nesta did, but i know that's unlikely.

feyre's pregnancy storyline was completely useless and went against her whole character.

acomaf retconned everything about tamlin and feyre's relationship in order to make more money. idc.

tamlin gets a ridiculous amount of hate. rhysand is hypocritical. so tamlin locking feyre in a house because she wants to ride out with him into potential danger is terrible and abusive, but rhysand locking nesta in the house of wind for... *checks notes*... having sex and spending money on alcohol is helping her? what?

[thepersonperson]

Oooh I'm really interested in your opinions on the flaming trainwreck that is gojo's relationship with women!

I wanted to respond to this topic in this ask, but then I realized it would be better as a part of something else. So I will link you to my yapfest that happens to delve into what I think are Gojo's woman issues.

So thanks for sending me into a mini crisis within a crisis! It gave me that nice little missing piece to pull apart Gojo even more.

I'm also shoehorning your tags on this post into this ask since they contributed to that analysis.

#fjddjdjs hiiii I apologize right back for subjecting you to my yelling in your tags almost all the time fjdjfjd #but WHAT a time for you to post this bc I literally just typed out a whole rant on gojo's sexuality that I bravely chose to not post djdjfjf hj

Post the rant anyways. Or whenever you feel brave enough. The perspective unique to you is valuable even if the topic has already been discussed.

#but you absolutely hit the nail on the head on why satosugu was and is n will always be doomed bc of COURSE gojo would never act on anything #like his whole thing in this story is witnessing human rights violations and only acting when the consequences are fatal

#hes absolutely my favorite jjk character but hes so very full of his own prejudices that I think the fandom doesnt acknowledge bc hes fruity #like we see him let a LOT of shit slip by bc to him (one of the most privileged cogs in the machine) they aren't real problems #which reminds me of cis white gays whose complections and even the random bouts of misogyny and mild racism he matches up with #he has a lil bit of that 'I can't be shitty to women I'm literally gay kinda' vibes and we see how he talks to utahime #and how he doesn't stand up for maki like you mentioned

That's usually my biggest complaint with fan culture in general. They shave off the yucky parts to make characters more palatable. Gojo's racist reveal post-mortem made me love him even more. He's my favorite character in JJK too and he has also unseated my most favorite fictional racist: Oliver Fire Emblem. (Yes, I have a fictional racists tier list. I'm giving myself a pass to have one as a person with a unique skeletal structure and muscles as Mr. Gojo Satoru would say.)

I think the reason people try to ignore these things is because of how subtle/realistic it is. Gojo's unsavory behaviors are the kinds people are most likely to have themselves. He kind of forces you to look at those flaws and that can be a deeply uncomfortable experience.

Also I think Gojo would be more like "I can't be a misogynist, I'm not a Zenin."

(Cough more on my racists tier list. It's more of "Were they written well? Was the racism properly condemned by the narrative? Is the racism relevant to themes? If they try to get better, is the racism properly addressed? Is it funny in the pathetic loser way?")

#but I also have this different vibe that he. despite how much he says so and maybe wants to. does NOT care about 'the weak' beyond his job #we see him literally step on people in shibuya to get to where he needs to quicker #he doesn't even bother remembering the names of the kyoto kids besides maybe todo and mechamaru (strong)

Well the thing is teen Gojo definitely didn't care about the weak. Post-Geto break up and after he started mimicking all of Geto's moral teachings? No idea. Gojo treats people he loves poorly so it's hard to tell when he really hates or doesn't care about someone. And he does posture about those things like with Megumi's body being used by Sukuna.

During the Shibuya incident, he does step on all those people's heads and let them be thrown against his Infinity like objects. But he doesn't hurt them. This is a guy who stepped on ants and made sure his Infinity prevented them from being crushed.

Kenjaku's group uses his love for other people against him here. Gojo tries to posture during it, but his composure breaks a few times when they start killing a lot of them. He also checked in on their survival after he UV'd them.

That being said, he probably cares more about them as living things than as equals. He has a very clear bias for the strong when it comes to putting in time and effort. ...But also Ijichi is so weak and Gojo trusts him the most. Gojo went out of his way to care for him when he was suffering. ...And he also relentlessly bullies him. (As you can see Gojo's true feelings on the topic are iffy as fudge.)

#imo the only reason he cares enough to correct nanamis language when talking abt yuuji is that he simply has a lot of potential to be strong #he took maki in hoping to make another toji out of her but bc he doesn't know how a toji is made he basically gives up #which is why I think he didn't even think to call suguru out for the way he talks to her

That would be really fudged up if he was trying to make another Toji and I wouldn't put it past him. He does put his students in really questionable predicaments in the name of growth. That might also explain why he corrected Nanami with Yuji. Someone with his power experiencing immense discrimination could churn out another Geto.

#like gojo has really lofty goals but his day to day consists of ignoring it all until there's a problem or he needs to talk about his goals #he's very much running around aimlessly like a headless chicken mostly bc of the higher ups so it's understandable that he doesn't have time #to even think about let alone try to unlearn all that internalized shit stopping him from achieving his goals #also everything about your tags YES TO ALL OF IT YOU'RE SO RIGHT AND BIG BRAINED

So true! Gojo is stretched so thin that I think he defaults to "cold logic" as Mahito puts it. If he's going to change things for the better, he has to invest in strong people, so they get all his attention and time. All the little systemic issues can be ignored because he was raised to only care about the big things.

It's such a frustrating predicament because I want to be mad at him for this, but it's also [Joker Voice] Society. I've settled on calling it out as a character flaw that can be explained (not excused) by circumstances.

#also uwu thank you 4 talking about kirara shes my everything and gojos an idiot for losing that entire years worth of students (2 whole ppl) #anyway I am sorry for clogging your tags yet again your posts make the gears in my brain turn very fast

Thank you as well. Clogging my tags makes me reexamine things more. I think after reading this response you'll be able to see the parts of your tags that influenced certain parts of the Ok Dad Gojo Analysis.

[spidrgrl]

In contrast to the 3 favorite characters, which 3 characters you hate the most in homestuck.

Oh gyatt

Honorable mentions before my big three: Doc Scratch........ And Rose and Jade from HS^2 (HOMESTUCK TWO ONLY. I don't hate them otherwise)

Also, slight TW for stuff that's happened with Meenah. I don't go in depth but I still wanna warn, skip number 2 entirely if you're uncomfortable with reading about it!!!!!!!!

Well, drumroll please for a VERY big yap sesh!!!!!!!!

Number 3 is

Aradiabot.

Tbh I don't hate her THAT much anymore. It's just she's a lot easier to explain than my Honorable Mentions™. It's more of a hate for Hussie's bad writing.

As a character, she's perfect. Perfect perfect perfect. She's so badass that a lot of people in the Homestuck fandom can't really comprehend it, so they call her boring! I don't blame those people though. Her actions were cool, but she herself wasn't since she hardly had a personality or emotions, and that's wonderful for a robot character!

But as a replacement for a friend???????? No. Absolutely not. It's like having a corpse of someone close to you and reminding you of everything that you caused. And you know what? The corpse hardly speaks, because it's DEAD.

I hated her for the entire time she was near me, and now I only kinda resent her as a character and both as a replacement for Aradia. She could sense those emotions, but she didn't care. Never cared! She was only a vessel that held a troll, and she didn't care about that either. She only cared about doing what was programmed for her to do.

I knew she hated me at least a little. But besides punching me in the face, she didn't say anything. No closure, no anything, just a cold metal punch to the face to a girl that's already kicked down! I wouldn't blame her for it if it was Aradia, but Aradiabot had nothing behind that punch. She had more emotions for EQUIUS just because she was PROGRAMMED/WRITTEN TO BE.

This is one of the reasons why Hussie's writing pisses me off! He replaced a PERFECTLY GOOD TROLL with a ROBOT and hardly ever talked about her ever again unless if it was for like, one or two panels. One of the best characters had her reputation absolutely TRASHED and now everybody thinks she's boring just because of ARADIABOT taking her place.

She could've been a lot cooler for a girl that stole Aradia's identity and story, y'know? That's mainly where my resentment lies.

Thankfully, she's not at all as bad as my number 2, which is

Meenah.

I DESPISE her. Not in a pitch way, my god. I loathe her in a way that means I want her dead. I wish I never met her, seriously. One of the worst cases of my bad luck was meeting her.

I think you guys could understand why I hate her already, but that's not the ONLY reason why either. So here's a list chat

Literally WRITTEN to be only terrible and a gag. As a character, all she has going for her is shittiness and stolen swag from The Condesce. We don't even know WHY she is the way she is, hardly any detail is given to backstory unlike me and my friends, so all readers know about her is that she's a trashy creep with a cool design and a want for money and power.

Has the same problem pretty much all of the dancestors do! Having a cool design and theme but they're two dimensional, almost always sexual, and having weird relationships with trolls that are a GENERATION younger than them.

Another very clear display of Hussie's shitty writing and bad decision making. He completely TOSSED the idea of a good character when he made her.

The things she did to me.

The things she did to Karkat.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT???????? SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT IT'S BAD. SHE VERY CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT SHE WAS DOING, IT'S THE ONLY TIME THAT THIS TYPE OF TOPIC IS NOT IN A JOKING LIGHT.

Oh, but that's not all!!!!!!!! For some reason, the GENIUSES for HS^2/Homestuck Beyond Canon decided, hey, let's KEEP THE CREEP and have her in a MATESPIRIT RELATIONSHIP with, oh I dunno, ONE OF THE TROLL KIDS SHE MET WHEN THEY WERE 6 SWEEPS (13 YEARS) OLD and she was 9 SWEEPS (19 YEARS) OLD. Yeah, that's so smart guys, bravo, you guys are really fixing up the dumpster fire that is Hussie's writing with some fuel. /j /sarc

Plus not to mention the fact that basically ALL proshippers in the Homestuck fandom crowd around her and romanticize what she did. Especially what she did to me. Like her whole existence endangers me even now. Yeah guys, let's NOT ship an abuser x victim.

Cry harder mf you know what you did. Scott Pilgrim ahh

Anyways, despite how much I wish Meenah never existed, you wanna know who I somehow hate more than her? My number 1 is

Hussie.

Andrew Hussie. The Huss.

Look, I do applaud him for making Homestuck. But I also punch him in the face for making Homestuck. Man, he should've given the story to Toby Fox or something, just ANYBODY but him.

No Hussie. Not like that. Stop producing new updates for HS^2, they CLEARLY got their writing skills from you.

And also, added to your terrible writing, why in the FUHREAK did you propose to your own character when she was a minor. Then also whine about getting rejected to another one of your characters (Cronus). Not to mention you actually sat at your desk and wrote the entire thing.

Like ew

Anyways, this EVEN BIGGER yap sesh is done!!!!!!!! Ty for asking anon

P.S.: if you're an introject of anybody on this list, I don't hate you specifically. If you want we can yap about source (except Meenah, I don't blame you for source but I wouldn't be able to talk with you, sorry)!

[charmwasjess]

Okay, I finally finished The Living Force, and as promised, I have thoughts. These are just my musings as a fan and a reader - if you enjoyed the book more than I did, I'm really glad! If you hated it, good for you too! Let people like things, let people not like things. <3 My feelings with this book were somewhat down the middle. I'm interested in reading it again in a couple months and seeing how I feel.

Overall: a fun, engaging read, genuinely hard to put down once the action starts going. The book isn’t afraid to be funny. SO MUCH GOOD JEDI CONTENT! Miller takes on a huge task trying to write perspectives for all twelve Council member characters and does a pretty good job bringing them to life. Mace and Depa steal the show. I had a hard time with some of the meta plot and overriding messages about the Jedi Order.

Andddddd the long version:

The entire conceit of the book comes about when Qui-Gon goes head to head with the Council, who are bogged down in committee red tape Senate paperwork disconnection, and challenges them to “help one person.” So inspired, the Jedi Council in its entirety goes to the planet Kwenn to help close down a hundreds-year-old Jedi Outpost. 

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan serve as the book’s inciting incident, our quest giver NPCs, who hang around close enough to the action to keep the readers who bought the book only for them engaged. It reminds me a little bit of a spin-off TV show where the fan favorite character from the original series shows up to boost ratings, saying their classic catch phrase while the live studio audience goes crazy. Look, Qui-Gon is Being Kind to Pathetic Lifeforms! Obi-Wan drops a “hello there” in the first scene! Oh, them!

Lest you think I’m being shitty, let me say that it was actually great to see Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan on the eve of TPM working together well and having a blast. Both in Padawan and Master & Apprentice, they are still very much figuring out their relationship, and now it’s clearly evolved to its final magnificent form. They’re utterly corny together - I love that for them. This is the same pair that gave us “the negotiations were short” and the baffling “there’s always a bigger fish!”

I’ll talk a little bit about Sifo-Dyas because of course I will. He appears only in mentions, but so many of them, he's a huge part of the subtext of the book as he's recently left (been fired) from the Council and been killed - he's apparently on everyone's mind. I’ve posted about this before - I love the Seeker Sifo addition, and further, letting him be a rightful problem, a true pain in the Council’s ass and who ultimately got himself fired for not following the rules. Of course I have sympathy for him: this is a person who is beyond desperate to save his world and willing to try anything at this point in his life. And I think it’s worth mentioning that this is well within Cavan Scott’s characterization of him as a natural born troublemaker. I mean, he’s on screen for about two pages in Dooku: Jedi Lost before he just fucking literally steps on Yoda. Apparently, he never stopped. 

The book is oddly complimentary of him in weird places. Canon is inconsistent about Sifo-Dyas and how much his visions were impacting his judgment or even his simple ability to function. The last we heard of him in the Yoda comics, Sifo-Dyas was so routinely incapacitated by them that he was traveling with Lene full time. So it was cool to see that he had apparently gotten in control of them enough to be a super crucial member of the Council. Mace complains about Sifo’s absence and how that has directly impacted their entire ability to perceive the future, an acknowledged blind spot that comes up quite a lot in the prequel films and Clone Wars. Yoda goes on and on about how what a powerful Jedi he was.

...I don’t think the scene where the ENTIRE FUCKING Council round robin style takes potshots at Sifo-Dyas for *checks notes* rescuing some orphans was particularly successful. Of course, accuse me of bias, he’s a favorite character of mine, and it’s rough to see his colleagues - who are also his only friends and family - sitting around talking shit about him (to a bad guy no less!) for a page and a half, when he literally just got violently killed. (And they know he’s dead, at least, if not the circumstances. Killed on Felucia was the official story reported to the Council per wookiepedia.) Just tonally weird.

But really, I think what actually bothers me about that scene is the treatment of the baddie, Zalestra’s motivation as in any way legitimate, credible, or worth an apology by the narrative. Wow, the villain had a good point! To be clear, her issue with Sifo-Dyas taking her friends away to be Jedi is not that it changed her situation in any meaningful way in terms of care provided. It was a crime of omission. And these friends were so dear to her that she goes around indiscriminately killing Jedi of their exact generation? I suspect Miller liked his cool Nautolan Pirate Joker OC and wanted to give her a sympathetic excuse for why she was going around torturing and murdering Jedi (and just random people, including children) for fun, and “I got separated from my friends as a kid because of a Jedi” was the best he could do. Of course, it sets up Depa for a really beautiful line about not using other people as a canvas to paint grief on. 

The question of Attachment is a strong theme. Depa seems to be Going Through It - about attachment in particular, but also generally in the book. She’s shown relying a little too firmly on the no attachment cause in the wake of grief for a lost student. For example, she is quick to volunteer that Zalestra’s friends who were brought into the Temple together would be immediately separated so as to not form attachments - without pointing out the rest of that, that this separation would be specifically into Creche clans so they could bond with other Jedi kids and grow up in a community. Mace’s reaction to Depa’s attitudes make me suspect this is a Depa character growth thing, not something we’re supposed to take as a face value fact about the Jedi Order. Indeed, she ultimately overcomes her fears about this and decides to take a Padawan. And the final lines of the book include Qui-Gon defining for us that it isn’t attachment that’s a problem for Jedi – it’s indifference. 

Mace and Depa are the clear stars of the book. The Shatterpoint lineage vibes are immaculate. I’d read that the Living Force is supposed to set up an upcoming novel about Mace, and I am legitimately thrilled for it after reading this. Anyway, their dynamic is fantastic. Mace treats her 100% like a respected colleague, no cute Padawan infantilization tropes, even when he is put in situations like rescuing her after weeks of prolonged torture. Instead, he gives her his lightsaber to use, since hers has been taken. A really powerful and beautiful moment of support, while still recognizing her strength and agency. 

That said, if you’re looking for a deep dive into more obscure members of the Council or an EU/Legends junkie looking to see your favorite backstory pulled from the fire, this book might not be it.  With his five wives and seven daughters in old EU, Ki-Adi-Mundi might be the least likely Council Member to be the comedic butt of a bit revolving around awkwardness around women, but Miller goes for it, and there’s no mention of his family situation. 

Another odd reference, this time to current canon: the civilians the Council are working to help are mentioned as being the relocated survivors of the Protobranch disaster. It’s an ironic choice to frame the narrative of “the Jedi have been too focused on the big picture/the future at the expense of their duty to ordinary people” and then set the story in a community of people that the Jedi literally saved after getting a vision of the future disaster. The fact that it was our problem child Sifo-Dyas’s vision, and the rescue only happened after he and Lene outright defied the Council to get the gears moving is never mentioned or addressed, despite its seeming supreme relevance to the other themes in the story. 

For a time, I thought the narrative tension there between those two truths - that the Jedi should be concerned about ordinary people and living in the moment, but that this doom future is truly about to be a huge problem for the Jedi Order and the galaxy - was intentional. Having now finished the book, it doesn't seem to have actually been. Maybe someone else has a different perspective.

In truth, I didn’t understand what I kept reacting negatively to about with some of the meta themes of the book until the literal last page, John Jackson Miller’s author’s note where he says it outright. He talked about the other Star Wars books he has written over the last decade - how they all have depicted (Jedi) characters who are off on their own, away from the Order, “loners like Luke Skywalker,” and how his depiction of the Jedi Order from that perspective has been very critical. With this book, he decided that ALL Jedi couldn’t be bad, and that “Qui-Gon Jinn was the greatest symbol (of diversity of thought in the Order)” so he wanted to explore that. 

I closed the book and gently placed it in the trash can.

No, I’m kidding. Kind of. You know that I love Qui-Gon Jinn, he is my first favorite character, but this take exhausts me. That he is the magical exception to all of Jedi’s problems leading up to the prequels, and that if he were somehow not a direct product of that same Jedi Order, which encouraged him in his particular way of thinking almost to a fault, starting with Dooku.

In the final scene, with a magical twinkle in his eyes, Qui-Gon explains his own “defiance”of the Council: “I’m not insubordinate. I’m unorthodox. The insubordinate are ignored. The unorthodox are heard - grudgingly.” So the book finally resolves for us the narrative confusion in the difference between Sifo-Dyas’s bad future-fixated rulebreaking, which is shown to create villains and piss off his colleagues alike, and Qui-Gon’s good Living Force-serving unorthodoxy, which creates friends for the Order and moments of spiritual understanding for the Council. 

...Smashcut to six months later when Qui-Gon himself is outright defying the Council’s decision on Anakin and sidelining Obi-Wan because he’s convinced the Chosen One prophecy is just that important. 

Star Wars: The Living Force by John Jackson Miller, 6.5/10 stars, would have been 7 if I hadn’t read that asinine author’s note and gotten all mad again. 

[crappy-lei]

this book, i mean this goddamn book.

i was reading "a little life" from the time i was feeling isolated and also not feeling anything actually. i truly underestimated and expected this book to be awful, considering it was 'overrated/hyped'. i was casually skimming til i finished the chapter one first section of the book, eventually i wanted to stop because it was just that good and i don't feel like ending it too soon. i thought about how i wanted to linger on this book as long as i can, if it meant reading and sticking around with these lovely sad characters and their not-so-little stories—to somewhow arouse a feeling in me and it feels like spending time with this book were like choosing to remain yourself on a complex relationship and as well as it feels like having a deep friendship and creating an intense connection or intimacy with someone close from home that you've been longing to love or idk.

this extremely weird attachment i'd developed within this book, i think t'was the sense of comfort and relief that i'm unconsciously relying on even tho i'm simultaneously perceiving the subtle joy and pain from the sadness itself.

and that's when i decided to read another book (daisy jones and the six which i unexpectedly hated it & the seven husbands of evelyn hugo like wow it was so good) that would kill my time by idle reading that would alter and forget this current novel i'm reading in order to reread again the first chapter and cost my time to restore those wholesome feelings that would feel like the first time. yeah i'm that desperate twat that would do everything to relive the nostalgia sensation. i've repeatedly visited the two chapters thrice and third chapter twice. still can't get over how disturbed and anxious i was that night when i was reading the half of chapter three - third section.

this is the kind of story you are expected to encounter all the saddest and traumatic moments so painfully numb to the point you won't cry for it which tears are solely reserved for the happy moments you'd wished for granted. crying for the small things is much more agonizing.

slowburn stories will always be my favorite and this one really tested my patience to the fullest. i mean it took 512 pages to see the characters finally- haha

page 690 u crushed my heart and it felt like its about to burst.

"dear comrade" wtf then "lispenard street' i've never ever brought some tissues while reading—in my entire experience. literally got nothing to say and i'm not even exaggerating.

feeling overwhelmed everytime i continue to read the remaining chapters, it was like this book was a reminder of my rigid life: constant pressures, collections of what-if's, things i should've and could've done while i'm still young and figuring shit out and sieze the youth energy in me but really at this age i'm already filled with solemn regrets in the sense of nostalgia, and again it feels like i'm having parallel feelings and visions of myself when i turn 30 and this story will be destined to mine. it is truly difficult to read but it has this little comfort i'm craving for myself or from someone i've been pining to attain but couldn't and this book provided the lack of emotions, social connections, and more specially this intense detachement i've been experiencing.

all i could think about is jb, mal, andy, harold, and mainly jude and willem. feels like the book is still not over yet, felt like their stories are still running in my head and i wanted to keep and them and feel their presence as long as i wanted and i'd cry for them but at this point i'm dead inside and i missed them already.

it's been 24hrs since i've finished the book and i still think about them. i tried to sleep the sadness off but still i was dreaming about them. i can't get them off my mind, i'm trying to put into words to somehow point out the aftereffects so that i could deal something regarding to this shitty feeling but til now i couldn't describe everything i'm feeling. it's not the trauma that stays with me, it's the characters in the story. albeit they're fictional but they were like my friends already; given the short time i've spent with them felt like years. they are so alive in my mind even though some of them actually died in the story but idk it is just weird that i'm a college dropout yet it seemed likw i was having the best college experience i've never had while i was reading and since i've reached the end, it left me feeling empty with all those years i've endured and suffered with jude, harold, willem, jb, andy, mal and even julia were already gone and now it seemed like i'm entering my 30's still lost like how lost i was in my 20's but the difference is this is the real adulting phase, a life not existing in a book without them and i could never ever restore those friendships again, i could never have those people; that kind of bond; that sense of belongingness and connection were eventually aging. it haunts me everytime considering that it really reflects the reality i'm living in. ever since i've finished the book, i'm not prepared to go back and be in the present and let the current life happens to me. all the emotions becoming resonant, echoing its sadnesses and peaknesses of life. but now i wanted to reel in for the company of the lows not with the highs and let them feel through my insides until it becomes fortitude as jude said at some point in his darkest moments. i really missed them and my friends from home. it is fucked up when u realized you are more alone than you think it was. i wish i could have something like them the four of them.

[hyog-blog]

Wonderland of Love

Today the dash reminded me of one of the steamiest and hottest historical war cdramas that is pure fun, delicious flirting, and two main leads exploding into sparky fireworks of mutual attraction the minute they see each other. It's one of my favorite performances by Xu Kai (apart from Arsenal Military Academy which is still THE BEST one). The man is a very good actor and is perfect for the romantic genre, but this whole cdrama just let him have so much fun with this youthful, daring, and dashing character who is very capable and too smart for his own good (but doesn't want to get into the whole shitty palace power-play, and I get you boy, no one ever wants that stuff, just go play warrior with your boys and a pretty girl). He has quite a bit of character development and the plot is fast-paced with lots of cool fighting scenes. There is literally not a single boring thing about this drama!

For me, this was The Double of 2023 in terms of steamy-hot romance and amazing on-screen performances, although this drama does focus on romance much more. It's that rare case when the actors just click both on screen and in real life, looking like a perfect match in every regard. On-screen couples, they either have it or they don't, that X Factor or whatever you call it. Well, this couple was definitely one of the best ones in regards to love/relationship development, which was the opposite of a slow-burner, or at least, the plot was so action-packed that they got to see each other often and the ML would never miss an opportunity to woo his girl or sneak into her bedroom at night (hehe). Flirty and straightforward.

The girl (Cui Lin, played by the mesmerizing Jing Tian) was also amazing in this one - a powerful fighter, a brilliant strategist, the daughter of a famous general, and a cunning little fox who most of the time was a few steps ahead of the ML, but was rarely left behind. And unlike him, who stubbornly resisted being dragged into the royal shenanigans, she understood that it was quite unavoidable, plus - she wanted him to get all that power because he was one of the good guys, who could actually make a difference, make everything better somehow.

But being a good AND a smart guy, he didn't want to have anything to do with it unless he really really had to. The couple had quite a bit of drama around him taking the responsibility and becoming the Crown Prince (which also meant they both would be locked inside the palace they kind of hated if they did get married). It was twisted, it was fun to watch, and they did manage to work around that in the end (the finale was also incredibly satisfying, with no open endings and that kind of stuff).

There's also a slightly weird obsessive-possesive love scenario with the FL's not-actually-brother who goes off rails to have her no matter what, up to the point that he betrays his whole country (because, duh, she's smart AND pretty), to keep things fresh between the two leads so that they don't get too lovey-dovey with each other, heh))

I just wanted to mention this sweet historic cdrama here as well - it's perfect for everyone who loves good fighting scenes, smart characters, plotting, loads of flirting, good acting, pretty leads, and a fair amount of steaminess. 100% rewatchable. Do watch it if you haven't already!

[darkcrowprincess]

It ends with us!:

I finally finished the book!

And the ending, what to say what to say! Atlas and Lily are together! But Lily is stuck sharing custody with Ryle the abusive asshole. So a bittersweet ending that's more sweet than anything. But still, I think Lily should have aborted the baby and cut all ties having to do with Ryle. Over all opinions of the book. It was sad. A good bittersweetness with the only good being Atlas and Lily's relationship. A safe haven amongst all the bullshit and trauma that is Ryle and Allysa. Yeah I said it. I think Allysa is a horrible friend to Lily and should have warned her about her brothers issues in the first place! But she was selfish. Very selfish. Now Lily is forever tied to this man through their baby. And there's no guarante he won't abuse his daughter in his anger. Both emotionally or physically. I hope in the sequel Lily and Atlas get full custody. Over all I'm going to state my general opinions of the characters from favorite to least.

Lily Blossom Bloom*giggles at her name*:

A too sweet and trusting cinnamon roll of this world that must be protected at all cost. Love when she's brave and bold. But over all Lily gives me the vibes of being so sweet when she's constantly surrounded by so much trauma, sadness, and shitty men. And you can see the affects it has on her. Especially when you think about her sitting all alone on that roof in the beginning and the idea of her flower shop. But over all she is brilliant and bold. And my glad she has her successful flower shop, she has her daughter, and she has Atlas. Who is basically her soulmate no question.

Atlas Corrigan:

First name perfectly fits him because he is exactly like the Greek myth and man is this guy carrying so much weight on his shoulders. Abusive parents. Kicked out. Homeless and suicidal as a teenager. His one saving grace was Lily, literally because if it wasn't for Lily he would have killed himself/died if he never saw her or met her. Lily really did save him. And if it wasn't for her he wouldn't be so successful in the book. Of course he worked every hard for it. But if Lily never saved him he never would have made it. Atlas spends so much of the book just loving Lily from afar and wishing he could keep her safe like she did him. I can understand why Ryle is jealous of this man(still doesn't give him any right to abuse Lily and be an obsessive creep). He's over all adorable. I love that he loves Boston and can cook and bake too. And that he dedicated everything from his restaurant and his success to Lily. He reminds of a sweet but protective wolf with a Boston accent.

Ryle Kincaid 😤😠🤢🤮: Over all an in general piece of shit loser man. Obsessive, abusive, anger issues, over all should not be allowed to be a doctor/surgeon if he has black out anger moods which he can't remember or be in control of! Just in general pyscho that should be going to thearpy and staying in one of his parents and sisters rich houses and staying away from all women. Just walking red flag from the minute you see him in the book. Only good thing about him is that he seems to be good at sex. But at what cost man? What cost? No dick is that good if you end up with a clingy abusive asshole that acts like a pycho. I still think Lily should have aborted his kid. No only on the off chance that Ryle will abuse the baby. But also what if the temper is hereditary? You want an abuser teen girl that's like her father? No Lily I don't think you do. I feel only a tiny bit of pity for him. But that's just for kid Ryle and all the trauma that little boy went through and obviously having parents that didn't send both kids to thearpy enough. But over all just piece of shit loser of a man that should not be around people especially women. What scares me is all the other women Ryle has dated. Like I feel like Lily is obviously not the first woman he has abused. I personally also think he has probably abused his sister and mother too considering their reactions to Lily and how quickly they want their relationship to work.

Allysa: A horrible friend that probably knew how abusive her brother is and just threw Lily to the wolves. Hoping she could fix her brother. You can't be a good sister and be Lily's best friend at the same time. It's just not possible when you know he's abusive. And she did, you could see tons of hints of it through out the book. Lily deserves better. I feel like Allysa should have convinced Lily or at least suggested abortion to her. But I feel like she didn't because she wanted to stay Lily's friend and have their kids be cousins. Which I think is really shitty. Her husband Marshall is way to good for her. And now he's forever trapped connected to this family just like Lily. Especially hate how spoiled she is when it comes to the money her husband make.

Jenny Bloom: A coward, a horrible mother. Wanted to punch her in the face so many times when she kept acting like everything is ok. And what she let her husband do to Lily both emotionally and physically, and for Atlas getting assaulted. I feel pity for her because she's being abused by her husband. But over all she is a coward and I wish Lily stayed hating her.

Andrew Bloom 😡😡🤬🤬🔪🔪: Another example of horrible men doing horrible things and getting away with it. Hope he's burning in hell in the it ends with us universe. He was both emotionally and physically abusive to both Jenny and Lily. Don't care what Lily says, just because he didn't hit you doesn't mean he wasn't abusive towards you emotionally and cause you damage. He's also a rapist, and he assaulted Atlas a kid! Still in high school so still a kid and should have gone to jail. And this man is in politics and was the mayor of Maine 😤😓🤬🙄. Goes to show what you can get away with when your a white man with power and fucking connections. Sorry if I was Lily or Jenny I would have either murdered this man or cut off his balls. Especially if he tried to rape my mother or almost killed my boyfriend. Or just tried to ruin his reputation. It's 2010. I would have figured out some way to ruin this man life because he deserves it. It's justice. But no he just gets to get away with it like Ryle. Hate it!!! Glad Lily never said anything good at his funeral.

Anyway. This book was good. A bittersweet book. Is it the most amazing book in the world? No. But you guys keep giving Colleen Hoover too much hate for no reason. Her books are simple quick and easy reads. Only complaint I have is I wish she'd add more detail to the worlds inside her books. The setting. Make the setting feel more like Boston and Maine you know. I feel like her books would be good for people trying to learn English since they are so easy to read. Glad I read " It ends with us." And hope the sequel is good.

[feuqueerfire]

Be My Favorite Live Blogging

Haven't been really watching shows and haven't watched anything long since literally August but now that it's nearing the end of the semester and I have big, big projects due that I'm not close to being done, clearly it's the correct time to watch this.

I've been anticipating this for so long, I hope I love it.

Ep 1 (Nov 23)

1-1

hijabi side character

12 years after 1st year, so are they 30 years old now?

not Pisaeng being a liar! lol

1-2

oh yeah, Kawi is a translator!

the time travel has started

1-3

omg him getting a call from his dad and going to see him and hug him T.T because his dad passed away in real life T.T

oh the first time travel iteration, i'm having fun

"Do you like me? [...] What should I think?"

1-4

The way Kawi has already begun to act unlike himself and getting out of his shell like with Pisaeng in the locker room and dancing drunk in the bar, even if it involves first stealing Pisaeng's clothes and next his money

Fun start!

Ep 2 (Nov 24)

2-1

ohh okay so doing that takes you to the same moment as when you twisted it? both in the present and past

2-2

Ahh, his time travel affecting the current timeline, he's now besties with Pisaeng and isn't a recluse

2-3

Kawi's repeatedly using Pisaeng's money and whining is offputting. like i fully know that a large portion of his inferiority complex comes from the lack of money and how he thinks that people think of him poorly because of it but omg it's so ew

2-4

I would hate to be in Pear's situation so much omg she was hoping to get have lunch with the guy she's known for a while + probably has a crush on and now he's left her at this restaurant with some random dude who has definitely been trying to get closer to her... rip but she's being nice about it

ah, the kissing the best man on the day of the wedding

the coming-back-to-win-prize is extremely expected lol

Krist's expressions are too much fr, reminds me why I don't like certain slap-stick cartoonish jBLs. paired with the whining? please I need it to lessen over time

Ep 3 (Nov 24)

3-1

Pear inviting a friend as soon as she realized Pisaeng had ditched and now she's having lunch alone with this guy who could misconstrue this as a date, exactly so true

For all my ehh feelings about Khai's mannerisms, the way he says "Then who do you like? O.O" is so good

3-4

I know the point is that Kawi is unlikeable and doesn't quite know how to navigate people or relationships but he's supposed to grow throughout the show but man he bothers me fr like the way he keeps being cruel to Pisaeng is just. I know it's cuz he doesn't want Pisaeng to fall for him and leave Pear on their wedding day but it's like girl...

actually more than just terating him shitty, it bothers me that every time Kawi acts like he doesn't get why Pisaeng is hurt. "Oh just this hurt you?" "Why are you mad?" etc

loll the lottery ticket thing is so true

I was whatever about Gawin in Not Me and wasn't really someone I wasn't someone I was drawn to in general but I really like him in this role! Hot boy Pisaeng let's go

Ep 4 (Nov 25)

4-1

The way Kawi wears his backpack only on one shoulder bothers me cuz it doesn't look light

4-2

broo Kawi put your fucking backpack on properly like the whole game whatever is dumb and annoying obviously but don't be silly

I hate these confession things so much, fuck Not for real. ofc it's a lot of pressure on Kawi to confess but I also hate these things that definitely pressure the girl into feeling like she has to say yes

4-3

okayy at least they're all leaving the two of them together, rather than witnessing the confession but I kinda thought they were gonna film him get rejected or smth

oh lmfao they're eavesdropping on him knowing he'd get rejected such bastards

I knowww the point is that Kawi has many shortcomings but goddamn being 30 in a freshman's body and still making stupid decisions is so annoying to watch, why are you going to the nightclub rn bffr and he knows Not is an asshold, he almost slipped up when he tried to make Not and Pisaeng go back to being friends so why is he hanging around Not still smh

Not stop trying to get a girl to sleep with a drunk Kawi omg

4-4

annoying, including what Pisaeng is saying

although drunk Kawi jumping past!Pisaeng for the crimes for current Pisaeng is funny though, Pisaeng is confused as hell

ah Pisaeng gay and avoidant

Damn, Kawi really got Pisaeng to confess to Pear that he doesn't like her and never will, good job

wait... Pear asking to sit with Kawi... knowing that she doesn't have a chance with Pisaeng... are we gonna get groom Kawi in the new future?

bro wtf he's not going to go back to the present? how are you not curious enough smh but I guess he doesn't know that Pisaeng said no to Pear

Ep 5 (Nov 25)

5-1

Oh, he wants to accomplish his last goal of dating Pear or whatever before going back...

oh Pisaeng taken with seeing boys kissing at the club he works at

5-2

ahh Pisaeng going to the gay club!

aww him running out as soon as he saw Max and got recognized

ah Max good head

5-3

I don't want Kwan to be nice to Nott, she's too good for him

I don't quite agree with Max because what do you mean people don't care or gossip or talk about where you go and what you do

lol did Kwan being nice to Nott make Nott be nice to Kawi. will it last

not Kawi running to meet Pisaeng and actually apologizing gj

Pisaeng really confessed

5-4

Corny scene of Kawi and Pisaeng but better than the whining

damn singer Kawi

oh the next episode has the drunk scene with Kawi asking why Pisaeng likes him... it's in every edit + trailer I think

Ep 6 (Nov 26)

6-1

lol is a business tycoon that good to watch, Max?

Pear whining to her dad to treat Kawi's father is so... eh? idk it's a serious topic but idk

oh damn the dinner with Pear's father is going really sideways

Pisaeng shouldn't have told Pear but that's one thing, I don't think Pear also shouldn't have just started talking about Kawi's dad to her dad without consulting him

but also was Kawi planning on asking Pear's dad without telling Pear beforehand?

Kawi's little drunk ramble here is pretty good

6-2

wtf why is Nott being cute and smiley to Pear...

oh the drunk Kawi and Pisaeng kissing

what are we doing why are we unbuttoning the drunk guy's shirt bro

okay sorry I think this would've been better if I though Kawi was attractive

not Kawi falling asleep omg pls

6-3

she may be a capitalist businesswoman but at least she supports queer people and her son being queer

oh my bad spoke too soon! she's like keep it quietttt

oh so Nott is there to tell Pear he thinks Kawi isn't straight?

lol not the time-travelling sleep-talking

crying why didn't Pisaeng shut Kawi up quicker

6-4

oh Pisaeng has become bold

Ep 7 (Nov 26)

7-1

ahhh tragic the way Pisaeng

aw, I'm proud of Kawi, mans really accomplishing his goals

girl what kaljdsfkljadsf omg

7-2

so how does memory work here? Does Kawi just know the lyrics even though it's a song he never learned in a life he hasn't lived?

but i'm assuming there's still stuff wrong with his life and him being so happy is out of character?

girl not Nott D: Pear no

oh nooo Pear and Kawi had been dating but he's been putting her through it?

Can they show what actually lead to Kawi and Pear's breakup?

omg ? did Kawi cheat on Pear with Pisaeng or smth?

7-3

omg Nott is suchhh a dickhead, how is he getting both Kwan and Pear smhhh

girl so you're pregnant, get an abortion plsss ik it's not as easy as i'm saying it but T.T tying yourself to Nott for life?

okay at least Kawi didn't cheat on Pear, he just didn't wanna marry her and settle down

7-4

I guess Kawi let Pisaeng be true to himself but leading him to discover him being gay?

ahh Pisaeng giving Kawi gift for his "confession" anniversary even 8 years down the line, how are you so down bad omg Kawi and Pisaeng are both kings of holding onto crushes, though at least Pisaeng has been around Kawi this whole time, unlike Kawi having like no contact with Pear lol

Okay my confession is that Nott and Kwan are both very attractive to me and kinda want to see them play a couple together

Ep 8 (Nov 27)

8-1

tragic reaction to the kiss

so did Kawi often kiss Pisaeng while drunk? and forget or what?

8-2

aw man the dad died right away

i mean... Pisaeng's mom isn't wrong here tbh

dang, Kawi gave Pisaeng his diary

I feel like Kawi should've given Pisaeng some more concrete proof ngl

8-3

forever gotta love a queer ralley or info session or whatever in a BL

plsss not all this dramatics while Pisaeng prlly just dropping his mother off at the airport but i suppose it'll move Kawi along in his feelings bravery journey

8-4

girl not the time travel man almost getting to Pisaeng's car

Ep 9 (Nov 28)

9-1

is the writer or director of this show a child of divorce with a shitty mother who is obsessed with her work and never there for her kid or smth? because pear, kawi, pisaeng all have separated parents, pear and kawi love and are in contact with their fathers while their mothers left for work and a diff family respectively. pisaeng is living with his mom technically but she's also never there and busy with her work. we could've at least examined why women are forced into these scenarios for at least 1 situation instead of having 3 shitty moms for no reason lmao

9-2

agh Not is a problem fr

idk i kinda don't care about Kawi and Pisaeng cuteness negl even though I feel like I should be having fun with it... I'm just kinda bored of this show rip even though it's like objectively not bad and probably not actually boring

9-3

bro Not isn't just calling Pear but discussing it with a group in public, get fucked fr

aw Pear

9-4

Kwan needs to get over Nott and Pear needs to not entertain him either aghhh this fucker

Kwan is so pretty fr I cannot see her like Nott fr T.T and Nott is nicef to look at too, why can't he be a decent guy

ah Pear asking Nott to not tell anybody, she's kind but he's an asshole who's already told everybody so

and at least she's not falling for him, yes a win

At first I was watching this show on 1.25 but I started doing 1.5x because I kinda want it to be done

Ep 10 (Nov 28/29)

10-1

Nott pushing Kwan like that??? die

10-2

hehe making up with friends Pear and Max

awwww this tragic Pisaeng moment with his mother

ohh so the mother approved finally

10-3

Kawi is a 30 year old virgin who figured out he likes guys also like a week ago so I understand why he's shy, its not out of character for him the way it is for many of the other BL characters but it's still so awkward T.T

just gonna ignore Max's response to possibly asexuality but whatever lol

[Linguistics] Oh, then discussing stopping gu/mueng and using Khun or smth instead because they're dating now

10-4

not even gonna lie, skipped the entire intimate scene thing because it's making me uncomfortable idk like it's not giving horniness vibes which is definitely fine, i love tender and sweet but for some reason it's giving me the ick here - maybe cuz I actually wanted it to go a different way of maybe not leading to sex and going in an ace route?

i saw a glimpse of the kissing and yeah not into it

Actually, I wonder if not watching anything risque or sexual in a show for the past few months has made me averse to it again? but idk bout that cuz I've been enjoying the Pit Babe edits lmfao (although the edits don't really show much actual NC content, just convos before or interactions)

Anyway 2 more episodes, I can do this. idk why i'm so meh about this show when I've been hoping to love it while many people who were so apprehensive about it like it way more than me

Ep 11 (Nov 29)

11-1

Aw Pear and her mother making up

having to skip through the continuation of the Kawi and Pisaeng sex scene to get to the interweaved character stories lmfao

11-2

Graduation gift? How fucking long has Kawi been living in the past

the compilation of Kawi and Pisaeng (+friends at Christmas) is cute, aw

11-3

wait Pearmai wedding invitation? Is this still in the past?

the constant Khun is so confusing now

11-4

I'm so confused by the passing of time this episode, ig it's been a few days since Kawi got sick?

ohhhh so the reason nothing happened with Pisaeng the first time is because it was his first time spinning the snowglobe so he's back there on his second try

omg just one more episode left, i'm so tired of this show i want it to be done

Ep 12 (Nov 30)

Last day of the month and I'm finally almost done whooo 1 last episode on 1.5x let's go

12-1

Ohh, nice choice to make Kawi reflect on not wanting to actually become famous

12-2

I don't get the aging thing either

Okay my bad I really skipped through this last ep to get the just of what's going on

Overall:

It is such a tragedy that despite looking forward to this show for so long and enjoying some aspects and moments, ultimately, it fell flat for me. I feel like a lot of this show was objectively done well like the character arcs and acting and stuff but I'm not attached to any of it. The romance didn't make me feel giddy even though I really wish it had like it's strange that I didn't care at all about all those cute moments Kawi and Pisaeng had or the established relationship montages when usually they're some of my favourite aspects of a BL. agh whatever ig at least the show didn't treat Pear terribly.

Rating: 5.5/10

[cognitos-handbook]

Do u have any hc’s for Andre? It doesn’t matter what anything works lol <3 and also who’s ur fav and least fav Inside Job character?

Okay, gonna answer the question first bc it’ll be a little shorter -

Picking a favorite is honestly really hard for me! I adore all of them wayyyy too much for my own good lmao, but I suppose lately been vibin a lot with Andre actually <3

Least favorite is Rand fucking Ridley, no doubt. They did way too well with his character and he reminds me way too much of some of my own family LMAO

(Seriously though, his character design is fantastic. Really good rep of an abusive parent and relationship and MAN do I hate him LOL)

Anyways, onto the headcanons!

Andre is such a giggly ass person and I absolutely fucking adore it

Mans is so easily entertained, too; whether he's high, drunk or otherwise lmao (literally was having the time of his life shining a flashlight in his own eyes so i mean LMFAO)

I feel like he's a huge listener?? At least more than people may originally realize or assume

Especially if he likes you, and you're really into whatever it is you're going on about

He eats that shit up; listening with a big grin on his face the entire time and asks engaging questions for whatever he can comprehend lol

He's a pretty passionate guy himself, and if you let him go off about something? He absolutely fuckin goes off, there's no stopping him now

This is smth I've joked about with friends before but apPARENTLY THIS MAN DOES NOT SKIP LEG DAY LMAOOO

In the fucking clone episode, when they're enacting their big ass plan?? He's literally at fucking like 85 degrees on that fucking wall holding that table there for Glenn

What the fuck LOL

Also he probably eats just like… so much? Raging munchies constantly and just a high metabolism in general, so he fuckin feasts

And he cannot cook worth shit dude; maybe if he's lucky he can make himself some insta-ramen and he can microwave shit, but other than that? Hell nah

And he doesn't at all have the patience to learn LOL

(Please cook smth for him sometime! He'd be eternally grateful and down it all in like.. seconds)

He avoids his work a lot but when he actually does smth, he's actually really fucking efficient

He just has to be allowed to do things his way, which may be a bit… unorthodox at times, but that's okay

Stating the obvious, but he's a great guy to smoke with for sure; knows what he's doing and is down for pretty much anything

You wanna chill? Fuck yeah, lets order some takeout and watch shitty movies together or smth

Wanna go buck wild? Absolutely batshit? Cause chaos? Well you don't even need to ask, he's already pulling you out the door with a big ass grin and plenty of excited giggling

And if you don't want to/cant do anything of that sort? He's honestly super chill with that too, don't worry

Not like he's gonna force it down your throat, besides, that shits awful for you anyways

He would know lmao

Another joke among friends, but he definitely develops an attraction to someone pretty fuckin easily LOL

Just say ur interested in him and he's 👀 all over that

Developing genuine feelings may be another story entirely though

Gotta love this goofy ass doctor man <33 He's a fuckin blast <3

(And don't worry, already have plenty more requests line up for him for later, so more to come ;p)

[bonsai62]

I just realized something... I was talking to this person one time on a post before and as I was typing that’s when i realized something:

This is for my fellow Nobamaki & Itafushi shippers! If you guys don’t ship it then it’s okay! This is just like a small analysis in my eyes and the way I read things! I can be wrong or just love reaching on a shit ton of things but this is all for fun and I love sharing with you guys!

Let’s get started! Also, this contains spoilers!

Do you guys realize that Nobamaki/Itafushi actually parallel to each other? Let me explain in shitty English and basic grammar and vocabulary lol:

As I watch and read Jujutsu Kaisen I see a lot of parallels between characters; Gojo with Megumi or Yuji, Getou with Megumi and Yuji or Nobara and Maki... but what I want to parallel between characters is:

Yuji & Maki

1. Raw strength:

Both are hella fucking strong and for people who don’t have cursed techniques, they know how to kick fucking ass. What made me realize that both of them are the same is honestly during the baseball game. I like how we were able to see Maki and Yuji making a home run... okay well Momo fucked up Maki’s groove! Haha! But during the Tokyo vs Kyoto event, Maki and Yuji go ham on their enemy.

Yes, Maki used weapons but still, we can’t deny she got good speed and strength that is similar to Yuji’s. That’s why I wish I can see them both doing a bad ass duo fight together.

I have a small headcanon that Yuji actually enjoys training with Maki the most because I feel like he can understand someone who shares similarity in natural raw strength and speed. And Maki feels the same way and it’s a good excuse to bully Yuji as a joke. I would honestly love to see that! Lol!

2. Their story:

Yuji and Maki honestly have it bad. Yuji loosing his only family member (his abuelo) and becoming Sukuna’s vessel which leads him to a future execution. For Maki is the fact that her family treated her like garbage and having to leave her sister behind and eventually her sister dying.

Both Maki and Yuji share that same pain when it comes to loosing someone. We saw Yuji with Junpei and in the Shibuya Arc with Nanamin and Noabra. Again, Maki the same with Mai.

I think what made me even realize it MORE on how alike and how they parallel with each other are these images right here and how they worded their final saying:

In the Shibuya Arc, Yuji lost it. He lost it with Nanamin and Nobara (but luckily for Todo, he was able to pick his feet back up).

If I was Yuji, I would’ve reacted the same way because imagine having the idea you want to save people no matter what but people keeps dying around you or by you? It’s tiring and I would’ve had a mental breakdown too.

After kicking Mahito’s ass, Yuji says there is no reason anymore. For me, when Maki’s arc came it really reminded me of this:

When Mai died and was killed by her own dad. Her dad took away someone who was precious to Maki no matter how much they didn’t get along. Maki really wanted to create the Zenin clan just for Mai to be safe and free.

Again, same with Maki, I would’ve killed the whole clan too because of how in general the Zenin clan is and how they treat people.

3. Having a “curse”:

Nanamin to Yuji: “You’ve got it from here”

Mai to Maki: “destroy everything”

I don’t necessarily mean a curse curse but it’s more like final words that someone important to them said before dying.

For Yuji, he won’t die because Nanamin believes that Yuji can move forward and save the world.

As for Maki, Mai tells her to destroy everything in order for things to change (I might be wrong). It’s for the Zenin clan to start fresh. That is another way I kinda Interpreted (again, I can be wrong). Maki still isn’t done with destroying things plus she is going to move forward just like Yuji. 

I have a thing that if the higher ups find out about Maki, she would be on the verge of being executed as well. So imagine both Maki and Yuji together being executed.

Now on to the next pair!

Megumi & Nobara

Again, this is just me analyzing. But if you ship Itafushi and Nobamaki, you can actually see another pair that parallels to each other but so far I haven’t seen anyone compare them yet, or it’s just me lol!

1. No rivalries:

I think what I love about these ships so damn much is that there is NO RIVALRIES. Even if you don’t ship them you have to admit it is amazing seeing a m/m or f/f getting along without being damn rivals. I’m glad Gege decided not to do that especially towards the women because it does get so tiring that two women don’t like each other for no damn reason or fighting over the main guy or other main guy. At least when Nobara didn’t like Mai or Momo, she had a reason for not liking them.

And don’t get me started with Megumi and Yuji. I was so happy to finally see two boys be friends instead of the usual, boring rivalries. I’m a be honest with you, I was pretty shocked that Gege was able to make Megumi and Yuji be so close and trust each other as friends. It’s a breath of fresh air for the two ships like omg I was happy not seeing the basic shonen bullshit with the f/f and m/m relationship.

2. Hyping up their pairs:

What I mean by hyping them up, I’m talking about the potential that Maki and Yuji has that Nobara and Megumi sees from them. Nobara since the start acknowledge that Maki is strong and vice versa with Megumi with Yuji. What made me see that Nobara knows that Maki is just amazing and strong was during the baseball when Maki was able to hit almost a home run. Nobara just knew that Maki would be able to make that home run but again Momo ruined her moment! Lol!

As for Megumi, we see while the Tokyo students came up with a strategy to win against the Kyoto students, we see him saying that Yuji can actually beat all their asses without curse energy or energy(one of those). Megumi reassures to people that Yuji can take care of himself and is very useful. Another time Megumi reassured that Yuji is strong is when he was in his bed healing from Hanami’s attacks and when they fought tiger against that one dude (forgot his name)

3. Thinking about them/defending them:

Now… this is really what made me think why Nobara and Megumi parallel with each other

It’s becasue I feel like they’re the ones who are more attached and over protective with Yuji and Maki than how Maki and Yuji are with them.

Now, I’m not saying it’s vice verse with Maki and Yuji. But I’m talking about how Nobara and Megumi expresses it. Let me explain:

While reading and watching JJK, we see how Nobara is with Maki compared to anyone else. And no, I’m not saying that Nobara isn’t overprotective with Megumi or Yuji but just the way she is towards Maki. I would honest love to see how these girls got along and how they became close!

Ever since Maki and Nobara had that deep conversation about why Maki choose to be a sorcerer, that is when I actually started shipping them because of how much respect Nobara has towards Maki and it continues to develop more and more with the two of them. We saw how Nobara got super defensive when she fought against Mai (First time) and started dissing Mai. The second time was with Momo, when she was straight up talking shit about Maki.

I love how when Nobara was talking about Maki and Yuji when fighting against Momo. However, I felt a different vibe towards it as well. What I mean by that is that I got more of a “big sister vibe” toward Yuji and a “I love and respect Maki”

But again, I feel like Nobara had some sort of feeling and attachment toward Maki ever since that fight with Momo and more than anyone else too. However, that is just me though! You do t have to agree with my reaching!

For Megumi and Yuji… First of all… Megumi would not hesitate to pull a trigger if anyone is trying to harm Yuji. What made me see that was against Kamo and the Kyoto students. I swear that day Megumi was literally about to commit murder.

Yeah, Nobara got pissed but she went easy on them, but Megumi didn’t. Oh no, he was about to commit a felony. He wanted all the smoke. He wanted that curse. I swear I even felt how pissed he was. I just feel like every time and separates, shit goes down the wrong way and everything goes wrong.

For me, shipping Megumi and Yuji is a whole ass different post but I won’t do that lmao same with Nobamaki because I can write a whole ass essay why I love how compatibly/perfect for each other lol

Bonus:

But guess what… during the Kyoto and Tokyo event, same shit happened with Megumi like Nobara: Megumi was thinking of Tsumiki and Yuji. And again, I felt like it was still different when Megumi was thinking of Tsumiki and Yuji. I find it crazy how Nobara and Megumi were thinking about two people during that event:

Nobara: Maki & Yuji Megumi: Yuji & Tsumiki

This is my personal favorite image of Nobara and Megumi. *wink wink* it’s basically the same image on who is important to to them.

Again, for Nobara and Yuji’s relationship, I just love the way it is. She gives me “big sister” energy towards Yuji and vice verse. Yuji and Nobara are those chaotic siblings that are the hyper ones while Megumi and Maki are the chill ones that can actually keep them down. There has been one occasion where both Megumi and Maki calms Yuji and Nobara down because of how they were acting and I’m not gonna lie it’s kinda cute lmao:

4. Not leaving them:

During the Shibuya Arc, Maki and Nobara separates but at one panel, Nanamin was telling Nobara and Nitta that he was going to join the Zenins. Nobara quickly picked her head up and suggested that she wanted to join him in order for her to be with Maki (this is a stretch but hey Iike being dramatic) however, Nanamin quickly declines her and tells her that it’s too dangerous. I think she was disappointed that she couldn’t go, but hey, Nanamin is a gentleman and he knows when a child is gonna end up getting hurt. I thought it was cute that she was super worried about Maki and just doesn’t care and wanting to join her.

Now, up the recent chapters, Megumi really shows us that he doesn’t want Yuji leaving him or he wants to stay by his side. Those few chapters really made my heart feel some type of way because it just the way Megumi is for Yuji and I can honestly feel how much he cares for him. As I mentioned above, I feel like everything goes to shit when those two aren’t together and I hope that they develop more and more. There has been two more occasions where Fushi doesn’t want Yuji to be left behind; one during when they were in prison and the second during the fight against Hanamin. The eyes that Fushiguro gives Yuji is full of trauma and careness.

In conclusion, I can’t wait for Nobamaki and Itafushi to develop more and more in future chapters. Again, you guys don’t have to agree with me on this. This is just for fun and sharing is fun too! If I’m overreaching then I’m sorry I just can’t help it :(!!

I hope you guys enjoyed my lil analysis! I’m sorry for the bad writing, I’m not very good at translating my feelings as I’m typing because my brain goes all over the place lol! But please, feel free to comment or give me an ask! I’ll be happy to elaborate more for you guys!

Stay safe y’all! And good night or morning!

[nonbinarykai]

Okay you know what, I’ve held this back far enough

Why I hate canon Kailor sm

Tw:// misogyny ment, incest ment

Im not gonna tag Kailor on this for obvious reasons plus this is kinda a long post, I don’t mind fanon Kailor mostly because tbh I don’t think it’s really a big thing and most I have seen of it is fine. Don’t read this if you like Kailor and don’t want to hear it bashed

Okay listen, s4 is my favorite season out of all ninjago, but if theres one thing I hate about it the most is Kailor. This ship has always been really annoying to me throughout the show, and I’ve hinted towards that in my blog. But why?

1. It’s basically jaya redone

Kailor brings nothing new or interesting to the table because honestly? It’s literally just the same dynamic as jaya. Socially awkward guy simps for usually unimpressed girl until she eventually caves in and they start dating.

Not only has this already been done before with jaya, but is also completely out of character for Kai to do.

While I admit seeing Kai as a flustered dork is kinda funny, once you realize the context of the situation that they’re in it’s pretty clear that Kai would never actually do this.

Reminder: Kai JUST found out his dead friend is alive and is forced to recognsizle with friends in order to get him back

Usually when Kai is presented in a situation like this, what he normally does is set himself dead first on the task at hand and usually ignores any distractions. He’s mostly distance and seemingly uncaring

((note this is after Zane died and Kai ran away from the ninja because of cole and jays bickering, knowing him he wouldn’t be the most excited to be back. His arc should have revolved around coming to terms with lost friendships due to death or distance but that never happens)).

What Kai DOESNT do is immediately fall head over heels for a girl he JUST meet to the point where even when he sees his DEAD FRIEND ALIVE AND WELL he completely ignores that for a girl he meet less then a week ago

This is something JAY would do, not KAI, Kai is a loyal friend who do anything to save his friends, he cherishes them and would fight god to help them with anything they need, he doesn’t forget them for someone new

It also does skylor unjustice as well, but we’ll get there when we get there

2. It adds nothing to the characters and is otherwise never mention again

You know how bad you fuck up a relationship if the best aspect of it is how it’s rarely on screen

Even considering the fact Kailor is just jayas dynamic, the connection between skylor and Kai feels completely non existent or one sided

Most of Kailor revolves around Kai simping for skylor

They have no common interests, common goals, they rarely actually talk outside of lloyds plan to overthrow chen

The whole relationship feels forced every time it’s brought up because of how disconnected they both are to eachother, Kai only likes skylor because she’s hot and that’s it, nothing else about her is actually interesting to Kai in anyway ((again sort out of character for him in this situation))

Skylor and Kai don’t form any genuine bond with eachother, it feels hallow and empty

Let’s compare this to lava, wait no that would be to easy, let’s compare this to pixane

Pixal and Zane both genuinely like and respect eachother, they both share bonds outside of being robots, they both care about eachother enough to know when they’re uncomfortable or need help

Kailor is barely mentioned past s4 and most of it in s4 is Kai being a creep

Oh yeah let’s get to that

3. It’s really really creepy

Im sorry I don’t find incest jokes funny ninjago, it’s just really uncomfortable and creepy

Hopefully this goes without saying but Kai thinking skylor is hot, figuring out they might be related and no longer finding her hot, and then finding out they aren’t and thinking she’s hot is really weird and creepy

Not to mention scenes like, Kai looking into her room without her knowledge or consent

Or Kai fighting people for her when it’s not necessary

Or him trying to impress her everytime he sees her

This isn’t cute or funny, it’s gross, privacy invading, and overall just very creepy and uncomfortable and most definitely not healthy

Again, this is REALLY out of character for Kai, Kai knows when to back off and respect people’s privacy

Literally the season before this he didn’t get involved in the love triangle probably because he knew that would make Nya’s situation worse

So for him to suddenly become this privacy evading perv is so grossly out of character for him and makes the whole relationship feel off and unhealthy

And finally

4. The whole thing is misogynistic

During this entire thing skylor doesn’t get a choice in the show once, she follows the commands of her dad before Kai tells her not to like her dad and follows his lead.

She doesn’t come to disliking her dad by her own thought, she was told to by Kai

She doesn’t get to do anything that SHE actually wants to do until LITERALLY the VERY END

She’s told by guys around her what she should do constantly, even without her being a love interest that’s just screams misogynistic to me ((Afab speaking anyways))

Everything about her character, down to the way she talks, who she’s allied with, and even sometimes how she looks is determined by male characters

Conclusion

If canon ships were shrek movies then kailor is easily shrek the third, a constant tired unfunny mess that caused everyone to think that these ships were shit ((to be fair Jaya is kinda bad to but at least it tired to get better))

There’s nothing redeeming about it to me, every time it’s viewed in a romantic setting it makes me groan or upset

What’s even more frustrating is how people constantly say lava can’t be canon because of it

Im going to go on a side tangent so you can just skip this part as it doesn’t add any actual substance to my argument

But it’s so frustrating to see people say that

Cole and Kai have had a much healthier relationship and would be a lot better for there characters

But no, this stupid misogynistic creepy ship where one side isn’t even consententing to it half the time is the one that has to stay canon because “it’s what the creators intended”

Lava isn’t the superior possibly canon relationship because it’s gay, it’s superior because it’s closer to a healthy working relationship in show then kailor has been ((fanon lava and kailor doesn’t count here because they’re isn’t any better fanon ship, Im just talking about in show))

But no it can’t be canon and it’s unfair for people to want it to be canon because tommy created this rlly shitty straight relationship for Kai instead

TLDR; fuck kailor

[moved-to-piersgender]

Mettaton for ask game?

Apologies for the late response, I have... a lot to say about him hahaha

favorite thing about them: If I were to list everything about this bot, we would be here all day, so... He's the second character to be so excellent as to induce a wholeass long-term hyperfixation. Every scene with this guy is memorable... and largely fucking hilarious, but that's not the only thing there is to MTT either. He's a complicated, deeply flawed character with a lot of depth, burying insecurity and a lot of difficult, ugly emotions under a painted Hollywood smile. Also... he really is hot he is so fucking hot I've never thirsted this much over a fictional character before aaaaaaa

least favorite thing about them: My MTT related pet peeves are powerful, and they are many. *Deep breath* The fact that he's a hard character to get right and most people don't, either making him a perfect uwu sparkleboy bottom or an irredeemable abuser that doesn't believe in consent. The fact that he's the most neglected main character, with his equivalent of the bit that would have showcased the majority of his character development getting dropped fairly early in development leading to it just getting *implied*. (I don't care that giving him a "date" would have thrown off the pacing of the game, I want more MTT dammit *whine*) The fact that, as funny as he is, comedy's the ONLY reason anyone ever brings him up in stuff Toby Fox added later. The fact that he's not a Lost Soul despite literally being in the room. The wasted potential of Mettaton NEO. I've suspected Toby Fox doesn't know what he has with him more than once before.

favorite line: Every line this fucker says is pure gold, but I'm always partial to "oh, my poor love! I'm so full of grief, I can't stop laughing!".

brOTP: I headcanon that he reconciles with Alphys of course, but I've become particularly invested in his relationship with his bandmates Blooky and Shyren. Especially Blooky. It's gonna be a long hard road to truly making things right with Blooky of course, you can see in the alarm clock dialogue things are still decidedly Not Great with the ghost family and this bot would truly rather die than utter the words "I'm sorry", but... I like to think the family's going to get there... eventually.

OTP: I do think he's a very sexual alloaro, but while I don't go nuts for any there are actually quite a few ships I've gone "okay sure" at (though tbh I read them more as "yeah MTT probably would find this person attractive" than "marriage material").

nOTP: I'll not beat a skeleton horse one more time, I also find Mettaton/Burgerpants rather squicky. That most ungifted in the looks department boy is obnoxiously hetero if nothing else (and there is QUITE A LOT else)

random headcanon: I have. So many. I think about this robot. So much. Two I haven't talked about yet is that I agree with the idea that he transitions partially away from film and TV in the human world, finding the majority of the fame he seeks as a music star with the band. And the reason that he's so shitty to Burgerpants and no other employee is he overheard Burgerpants say something mildly unflattering about his acting skills one (1) time and he's held a grudge literally ever since 😅

unpopular opinion: It's an orientation one yet again but he really does give me more bi/pan vibes than gay vibes. Mspec Metta is a hill I WILL die on.

song i associate with them: "Most songs are about your hyperfixation if you torture the lyrics enough" is in full effect rn, so in addition to just putting "90% of Lady Gaga's musical output" here, Oh No! by Marina reminds me very much of him (though it's not a perfect fit, he very much DID want fame)

favorite picture of them: I no longer have my favorite screenshot I took of him having his heartfelt moment when Blooky calls while mid-splits with an arm up because I did the armor tactic the first time through his fight, so fuck it, y'all are getting this:

He's also the entirety of my "fave" tag (suggestiveness ahead)

[lavender-lotion]

Fanfic Writer Asks

I was tagged by @asarcasticwitch - thank you so much!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

737, which is an ugly number :(

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,890,054 words, which ... AH I might actually get to 2mil by the end of the year!

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

thank you, ao3 dashboard for this handy list:

Teen Wolf (TV) (377)

X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) (187)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (93)

Glee (29)

Young Justice (Cartoon) (11)

Kingsman (Movies) (9)

Original Work (9)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (8)

Criminal Minds (US TV) (7)

Thor (Movies) (6)

Deadpool (Movieverse) (5)

Weird City (TV) (5)

X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) (4)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) (4)

Ragnarok (TV 2020) (4)

Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) (3)

Teen Wolf (TV) RPF (3)

Iron Man (Movies) (3)

The House in the Cerulean Sea - T. J. Klune (2)

Venom (Marvel Movies) (1)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (1)

Captain America (Movies) (1)

Fate: The Winx Saga (TV) (1)

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (1)

X-Men - All Media Types (1)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan (1)

Riverdale (TV 2017) (1)

X-Men Evolution (1)

Push (2009) (1)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With You, I Belong

Mates and Marriage Proposals

The Perceptions of You and I

(baby) maybe that matters more

Breathing You In

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ughh so, fair warning, I have a lot of works. I definitely do not remember all of them, however I do have four works tagged as Unhappy Ending and then another nine works tagged Ambiguous/Open Ending, which is way more than I’d thought I had! 

however, there is one fic that stands out in mind when I think about which of my works has the angstiest ending! Heed the tags :)

And Now?

Teen And Up Audiences | Major Character Death | M/M | Teen Wolf (TV) | Chris Argent/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski | Chris Argent, Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski | Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Peter Hale Dies, Unhappy Ending

Stiles Stilinski finds out who his soul mates are by setting one on fire.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ughhhhhhhh I truly do not know??? 

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write many crossovers at all! I have some mcu/teen wolf cross overs, I have a teen wolf/glee cross over plotted (that i’ll probably never write), but my strangest is probably this teen wolf/x-men cross over!

what-ifs (don’t fuckin’ matter to no one)

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)Teen Wolf (TV) | Logan (X-Men)/Sheriff Stilinski | Logan (X-Men), Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski | Memory Loss, Telepathy, Mentions of War, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Grief/Mourning, Telepath Stiles Stilinski, Telekinetic Stiles Stilinski, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling

There’s somethin’ there. Somethin’ that has him sleeping curled up on his side with a pillow tucked to his chest, somethin’ that has him splittin’ up his food ‘fore he eats ‘cause he don’t need as much as a baseline. Has him turnin’ to tell someone shit that ain’t there. There’s just...there’s just somethin’ there that’s missin’ and it shouldn’t be missin’.

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes! I don’t write a lot of smut because I actively dislike writing it, but the smut I do write is super super soft and sappy and full of emotions lol

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to almost all of my comments! comments i won’t respond to: negative comments, unsolicited criticism, comments that aren’t relevant to the fic itself, comments simply asking for more 

I love love love responding to comments! I love every single comment that I get and I want to show how much I appreciate getting them, and personally I think responding to comments is the only way to do that! everyone has different comment philosophies, but for me, if someone is taking the time to comment on my fic like I so badly want them to, I think it’s important to respond to show my appreciation! 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha YEAH I DO. this past weekend I actually got a number of shitty comments and had to file two ao3 abuse reports for harrasment (: I love it

I am no stranger to hate comments. I write copious amounts of age difference fic. I write copious amounts of incest. I am not going to apologize nor am I going to feel bad for enjoying either.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ughhh I sure as heck hope not! 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a number of them :) I always always do my best to make sure it’s linked to the original fic, AND that I add a tag noting that there’s a translation!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have made a few attempts! the only successful attempt is there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love which is a collaboration with @flightinflame, not quite a co-write!

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am unable to answer this lol I don’t have an all-time favourite. mutli-shipping forever.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

god okay this is such a good question! imma ramble about a few so bear with me here! (i may have 700 posted works but I also have a few hundreds wips & ideas floating around in my gdrive, too)

gone & past - this is a starrish wip i’d started in 2017. I ended up deleting it from ao3 to rewrite it and never got there, but I have about 20k of content! I built my home, inside of you - thorki human au with college jock thor and high school dancer loki. i’ve got a start and nothing else Sheriff Stilinski Gets Some Sweet Sweet Lovin’ - massive wip where... well, the sheriff fucks his way through the entire pack. I want to write it but. trans allison au - this is an au where allison is trans and that changes the entire season 1 canon. it features stallison, petopher, and a looooooong ass outline that will never exist beyond my wips You Fill My Heart (With Such a Gentle Love) - this is a stetopher a/b/o au with pregnant omega stiles and alpha pair petopher falling in love. it started as a labour of love to someone I no longer have in my life. I have about 30k, a full outline, but idk. makes me sad to think about it they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered - this is my big x-men first class rewrite that I honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish. I have a few thousand words, a full outline, but no love lost for cherik so. doubtful Physiotherapy (I'll Be Your Baby) - this was a fic I was SO excited about, and then it kinda flopped and stayed a wip because I didn’t have a plan or the motivation to finish it. it’s a winterspider human au with amputee bucky and science twink peter that I adore the premise of but who knows breathing you in chapter 2 - I have a massive second chapter planned for this fic but the first did so good so fast I am way too intimidated to write more in case everyone hates it lmao

there are more arjgoirjeg there are so many more but these are the bigger ones I can think of right now!

16) What are your writing strengths?

ughhhhh I hate answering this because I have, like, seriously bad imposter syndrome around my writing BUT I do think i’m able to weave poignant backstory into narration & i write strong, distinctive narrative voices!

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

literally I can’t write settings at all. I don’t know how people vividly describe settings but I absolutely cannot do that and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t delved into original fiction. I need to write the town my characters live in?? fuck that imma just use a location we’ve seen on screen & let readers fill in the blanks lmao

I am also shit at long fic. I don’t have the mind for long and interesting plots, and I don’t have the focus to write long fic (which is why every long fic i’ve ever posted has taken me literal years to complete smh).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! both as a reader and as a writer. as a writer, I generally only use a few words, or small sentences that can be understood by context, and I generally don’t 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the last thing I wrote and posted was this one:

Languish

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) | John Allerdyce/Bobby Drake | Bobby Drake, John Allerdyce, X-Men (Team) | Not Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Established Relationship, Summer, Teasing, Fluff

It was a really, really hot Saturday, and most of the school was outback, enjoying the sun, not caring about the heat, and having the time of their life.

Everyone but Bobby, of course, who was melting away.

“I just want to remind everyone that I make ice. I am the Ice Man. I am not built for the heat and soon enough I’m going to melt away into nothing.”

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this is another impossible question! I have a few I really enjoy, but I really don’t think I have a favourite that stands out above the rest!

i’m tagging: @4magicandmayhem @insertmeaningfulusername @midrashic @wynnefic @ikeracity @stronglyobsessed @elledelajoie @wolfnprey​ & anyone else who sees it and wants to do it! seriously! go ahead :)

blank questions below the read more!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

16) What are your writing strengths?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

[natsukitakama]

What kind of Yandere are they? Snk edition Pt 1

Author note : I have no excuse, I just thought about it. This obvisouly won’t be in canon-verse because it was more convenient for me but feel free to adapt this the way you want. 

Before we started, let me reminds you those relationships are TOXIC please be careful. No one should treat you the way they did in this headcanon, you’re precious and deserve someone who’ll be able to take care of you properly. 

Warning : violence / Mention of stress / Toxic relationship / Smut (kinda explicit but you can skip it if you want to) if you don’t feel confortable wit those kinds of things don’t read, I want you to feel good on my blog this is a happy place. 

i do not own those gifs credit to their owners 

Edit : Every characters are all aged up for the sake of my mind

Masterlist  Part 2 here  

Mikasa 

She is the most brutal yondere

Remember Yuno Gasai ? Yeah, she learned from the best. 

To the outside, she is nothing but sweet. She tended to be kinda shy around everyone. It’s not a surprised she was so popular especially with boys. But she wasn’t interested on anyone. 

Until she met you, both of you were assigned on a project : you thought it could be great idea to ask her to come into your house so you could work properly. That’s what your first mistake. 

Your second mistake was you let her on her own in your room for a couple of minute (because you were looking for some snacks to here). She obvsiouly snicked around, she looked at your family photo, at your collection, the book you owned, your closet. She even went until going into your bed just to catch some of your perfume. That’s basically how her obsession over you started. 

When you went back with some sweets, you found her waiting for you, smiling and it melt your heart : since your first day you had a small crush on her but she didn’t seem to acknowledge it. She always acted like she didn’t care about everything which was true in fact but you didn’t know that. 

Then you started to work together and it was fantastic. It was as if you were connected, she was nothing but sweet with you always laughing at your jokes (even the bad one), always trying to help you. You felt overwhelmed by her kindness. 

How wrong were you. 

Every movements had a purpose, she tried to seduce you. To make you fall in love, so she could protect you properly. Indeed if you were too deeply in love you won’t notice how wrong your relationship was, how toxic she was with you. 

What kind of yandere is she ?

BRUTAL : she is strong, she is smart and she isn’t afraid to use her strength against anyone who could be a danger to you. Basically, anyone who used to bully you, look at you the wrong way, talking about you like you were some shit, anyone who’ve ever been mean who would beat the shit out of them. She would never put a finger on you though. She would never use violence against you cause she doesn’t need that. In fact when you realized you were dating a Yandere it’s already too late, you’re too deep into your relationship to ever think about leaving her. She got other way to keep you by his side. 

SADISTIC : I said before that she would never put a finger on you, I kinda lie. Of course she would never beat you or hurt you by using her strength, her fist or anything. But also told you she got other way to keep you into your relationship. Two words : Torture and threaten. She won’t be afraid to torture you but threatening you : your family, your pet, your friend, your colleague ; little by little you got used to live knowing there are a sword of Damocles above your relative’s head. If she can’t still be sure you won’t run away from her, she would torture physically. Meaning she’ll kidnapp you and lock you up on a room with no window. She tends to use social’s privation a lot cause everytime she finally frees you, you’re always more kind with her (she takes that as a sign of love while you’re just being afraid of being lock down again). 

FRIGHTENING :  Kinda be seen as a way to torture you as well, she knows she tends to be kinda dreadful. She isn’t afraid to use her csarry face in order to keep you obedient. Let’s be real, we all see her scary face at least once : who’s gonna have enough balls to threaten her ? Yeah you got it. There no way someone would be brave enough to test her. 99% of the time she just has to send you a death glare and everything is in order. 

POSSESSIVE : I mean even Canon!Mikasa is possessive, so imagine with a Yandere behavior. She won’t let anyone put a finger on you, it could be a gentle gesture but still no one can touch you. They don’t deserve your time, your oxygen, you’re far too precious for her. At the beginning of the relationship she struggled when she saw you talking with anyone, the worst was when she could see you enjoying your time. It broke her heart, she was afraid they might steal you away from her. You’re her everything, she couldn’t lose you otherwise what’s the point of being alive ? Everything she would do to you is to protect you. 

She is basically the kind of person to keep a part of your body if unfortunately you end up dying. She would probably keep one of your arm so she could still feel your hand on her cheeks, and your head so it was as if you never left her. 

When it came to sex, she uses it as a gift or a way to show you how much she craves for you. She tends to be pretty rough in bed with you, but she always make you to give you proper foreplay, she is just too into you (literally), so lost in her own pleasure of being one with you, her beloved. She worships you so much to the point you might start to think you are some kind of god to her. There no inch of your body, she didn’t kiss, caress. 

She loves giving you head, just the though of you crying from pleasure just because of her. It never failed to boost her confidence. Believe me when I say she is super focused on your pleasure. With a couple of session, she knows exactly where to bit, where to lick you so you would be a whole mess because of her. She never expects you to give her head but if you ask( hear:  beg) she’ll oblige. 

Having you on your back waiting for her is a sight she would never forget even when she’ll be dead. For her it’s like a piece of heaven, having you here defenceless knowing you trust her so much. She might come just by this sight. 

Your moan is her favorite thing of the world especially when you call her, begging her for release. She isn’t really a Dom in bed more like in control. She needs to be in control otherwise you might hurt yourself. That being said, it doesn’t stop her from slapping your ass while she fucks you : she loves seeing your cheeks being read from her hand, marking you. Well it always turn her on for a second round. 

Nonetheless, she doesn’t have a huge sex drive so it doesn’t happen as much as you expect. She prefers some cute gesture such as hug or kiss, they are more meaningful. Sex is more a way to release some tension. 

Eren 

The manipulator 

He likes to pretend he has an innocent crush on you. 

It’s everything but innocent but no one can tell

I mean follow you in every social link isn’t very bad ? Kinda awkward but nothing to be afraid of. He takes advange of his glorious build to cross some lines, he knows that you were far too happy to notice his wrong behavior. 

He noticed the way you look at him when you thought he wasn’t noticed, he knows you were attracted to him. At first he found it kinda boring, but one day when he decided enough was enough and he should confront you : the way you talked to him trying to find your own words while being a whole mess. He never saw someone as pure as you, you were absolutely so cute ; he felt his heart melted. That’s basically how he became obsessed with you. 

They’re nothing healthy with the way he is in « love » with you. He talked to every of your friends trying to get as many information as possible, even use his own friends to pick up every informations he might need. In addition since he followed you, he started to stalk you looking for anything who could be useful. He even went  as far as to create fake account to watch your story. 

He claims to know everything about you (which is true), basically have you seen You on Netflix ? That’s him. Every time you leave the place, he would check your phone looking into your DM, your history everything to be sure you’re not seeing someone behind his back. 

To make it short he is very insecure about your relationship which tends to put you in some dangerous situation where everything could be use against you. 

What kind of Yandere is he ? 

MANIPULATOR : It’s kinda canon at this point, he is not afraid to use anything against you if it could be useful. He remembers anything you ever said to him from the little complain about your mum being a bit strict to your insecurity. Anything would be use to keep you with him. If he feels that you’re getting distant with him because you’re insecure about your relationship, he would praise you. If a friend of yours told you how unhealthy your relationship was, he would remember you how a shitty friend he used to be so you would leave them instead of him. He’s even better during argument, if you’re aggressive to him he won’t be ashamed to use your insecurity against you so you’ll end up apologize even if he was in fault in the first place. 

JEALOUS : As I said before, he tends to be very insecure with your relationship. He knows that his behavior is wrong that he is sick. He can’t help but always stalking you especially in your social link since it’s the only place he can’t control. Fake account, looking into your like’s section, checking into your phone while you’re not looking. May god protect you if he ever finds something suspicious : it always end the same way, you crying over Eren’s body asking, begging him to not leave him. I do not even know how he does that. 

VIOLENT : come on ? He is an angry boy, how could you expect him to not be violent ? He isn’t violent against you though, he got other way to got you all obedient for him. No this attitude is for assholes who think they could take you away from him. They should know better, honestly he is not afraid of being nasty against us. In the end, when he’s done with them, no one would be able to recognize them : face crushed, body cutting into piece is it even human ? He got a lot of bloods in his hand and expect you to be thankful for that. He’ll protect you no matter what, he loves you so much to the point he couldn’t even feel anything : when he got hurt he doesn’t feel painful, when he kills someone he is always so calm ; he always got you in his mind. 

THREATENING : Despite his gorgeous face, he is kinda scary when he wants to. Especially when he got you against a wall whispering into your ear how unfortunate it would be if your mum or any member of your family got hurt into a car accident. How bad it would be if someone finds out about your dirty nude. How he could end your reputation in some clicks. He barely has to use it, since he tends to use sex against you to break you ; but if someone has decided to be cocky to day well he’ll remind you who is the boss here. 

About sex, well I told you before that he has his own way of remind you who you belong to. You see me coming : Sex is a way to him punish you or to love you. Let me explain. 

90% of the time, when you two have sex, it’s just a way for him to praise you, to show you how much he loves you. It’s not all vanilla quite contrary, but even when he got you on your four deepening his pace to the point you might have so marks, he always made sure to whisper how much he loves you, how proud he is, what a good S/O you are for taking him so good. At this point you won’t know if you’re blushing because of good he made you feel or because his cute words got you. 

But there are times, when you acted like a brat to him so he had to remind you who you belong too. Expect him to be super Dom on you, meaning he would tie you on the bed your hand above your head, your legs spread wild open for him. Him, in front of you looking at you with an upset look. Do not expect to whisper you sweet word : he would dirty talk a lot but in bad way, telling you what a bad S/O, how disappointed he is. Sometimes he would scold you for flirting with another one. Expect a lot of orgasm denial, a lot of tease to the point you would break and start crying, begging for forgiveness. Then he would love you properly, hold you close to his chest whispering how proud he is and how grateful he is. Once you came at least one time, he would always overstimulate you everything to break you honestly. When he’s done with you he will just pumping himself and cum all around your body claiming you as his. 

When he is a good mood he would give you head, making you cum at least twice before he decided to start the real fun. When he is angry or disappointed, he would use your mouth as a way to beg for forgiveness, don’t expect him to be gentle. He will grab your hair while deep throating you. 

Jean 

the stalker 

He is probably the most awkward of the three

In fact, he met during groceries : you asked him some help to reach some furniture who were far too up for you to grab it. 

The second he met the pretty face who belonged to the angel voice of yours, he falls in love. He wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to own you, why weren’t you his already ? What are you waiting for ? 

Since it was kinda late, he insists on walking you home since he couldn’t let a cute little angel like you walking alone on the dangerous street. You find it cheesy but accept anyway since the man was kinda cute himself. 

But he was already working on his plan to seduce you, during the walk he tries to memorize as many things as possible especially the walk so he could visits your house. During the walk he asks you a lot of question about you or your class, you find him extremely extrovert which was fine since you tend to be kinda shy with first encounter. Again all he was going as a purpose : to get to know you better. 

This day he discovers a lot of things about you who could be useful but the more important thing that he was in the same school as you which mean he could stalk you more. 

He is pretty smart and get some charisma, before you could even noticed, he was friends with all of your friend, and presents himself to your family. In a couple of weeks he was already a part of your life before he asks you to become his significant other 

So what kind of Yandere is he ? 

STALKER : it’s in the title. Not only does he stalk you in social media (even if you follow him) but he also does it in reality. Sometimes while walking to your house, you swore you felt someone behind your back but everytime you tried to check you found nothing behind you. You never ask yourself while you met Jean so many times in a day, always thinking it was fate or anything. It wasn’t he just follows you during the day and when he felt like he needs your attention he just orchestrate an encounter so he could spend time with you. Honestly there nothing he doesn’t already know about you, there so many times he left stalking you, watching you, analyzing you : he knows you like the back of his hand. 

MANIPULATOR : He isn’t like Eren, he won’t use information against you directly but won’t be afraid to hurl barb at you if he feels like put you in your place. He’s more the type to be friends with all of your friends, your family to be seen at the awesome boyfriend so you would feel some kind of pressure against you. You couldn’t break up with him, not when everyone around you praise you for finding such an incredible boyfriend like him. Basically if you break up with him anyone would be so disappointed about you and you don’t want that. He knows you care so much about their opinion. 

PARANOID : the reason behind his stalking’s habit is fear. He is afraid he might loose somehow. It could be someone kidnapping you, someone hitting on you ; Jean knows if he wasn’t careful he will lose you eventually. So yeah he stalks you when you walk on your own, even during a trip with your friend he is always here to watch you. So he could prevent any risk. Since he’s kinda self-conscious about himself, stalking you is a way to comfort him that you’re planning on leaving him. He tends to be super cautious with you around him, never trust anyone even his own friends. He never let you go looking outside without him close to you, even talk to people like postman (who knows they might be dangerous ?). He has 100% control on every of your activity, you find it cute but sometime it was as if you weren’t free. He even went as far as to lock you in your own room just to be sure you won’t leave while he is away. 

Ok So sex with Yandere!Jean ? BOY. He used to enjoy stalking you during your intimate moment, just seeing you in your most pure state ? The first time he didn’t mean to watch you, but he stalked you while you walked on your own during night : he had to be sure no one would bother you during a peaceful night. But then when he was about to leave to his house, he saw your light and the shadow of clothes throwing everywhere. At first, he was afraid you might having sex with someone else than him. So he climbed to the nearest three to watch you properly. In fact you weren’t cheating on him but you were touching yourself. That’s how his night activity began. 

So yeah he knows perfectly where to touch you, it almost surprised how good he was. You never expect someone to love you the way he does. It was as if he knows your body by heart. The way he kiss you while his hand is moving around your body, grabbing, slapping everything he could reach. 

He wants you to call him daddy no matter if he is angry or happy, this isn’t a roleplay anymore : it’s like his « sex name ». You didn’t complain tough since he tends to cherish to the point you are crying from bliss. 

He is a switch, he is a Dom when he has to punish you or just when he wants to impregnate you. He is a sub when he is a good mood, in fact he enjoys seeing you riding him, using him for your own pleasure, knowing he was the origin of that glorious sight. 

When he is a Dom, he tends to choke you while fucking you and he is very rough on you. Slap your ass, choke you, even spit into your mouth if he has too. They’re no love into this act, it’s a way to remind you that he owns that body of yours. He overstimulate you a lot, telling you he’s not done until the only word you had in mind his is own name. When he is done with you, he is not surprised to see you asleep. 

When he is a sub, he tends to praise your body, holding your hand while his hips are rocking into yours. Or if he is in back, he would grab either your hips or your ass, cheering you. He’ll never let you have 100% control tough, he can’t do that otherwise you could leave him. 

There one thing he loves is finger fuck you, just knowing he got you around his finger and he could also pleasure you. It’s the perfect way to own you like he is supposed too. 

[everylastbird]

Hawks from mha!

First impression: The first time I technically saw Hawks was during an art stream, and the artist was making h0twings fanart. At the time I'd watched BNHA and had read some of the manga, but iirc stopped reading around the time of Eri's character introduction. So mostly I was like "What a cool character design, I love birds and bird-people!!"

Impression now: Baby, baby bird. My son boy! Light of hope!! I've said it before in a few tags, but he really is suuuuper up my alley as far as characters go. A lot of my faves tend to be characters who have had a really shitty go of it in life, but still come out of those experiences with an open heart and a genuine desire to help others. I admire that trait a lot, and I think Hawks embodies it beautifully.

Favorite moment: I love a lot of his moments, but my favorite is probably the flashback interaction he has with the HPSC following his and Endeavor's fight with the High End. He gets so quietly *angry* when he was told that they picked him specifically because they thought he could just disregard civilian lives for the sake of infiltrating the LOV. And it makes his (super cool) rescue of 70+ people during the fight even *more* epic in hindsight, because now we know he did it against orders, because he wasn't willing to compromise on his morals, even if it cost him the mission.

Idea for a story: At some point I'd like to get around to writing a fic where Hawks was rescued from the HPSC and their child hero training program by Eraserhead and a few other pros. The bulk of it would actually be set in his first year at UA as a student, working to heal from the emotional and psychological damage inflicted on him by his time training under the HPSC.

Unpopular opinion: I don't get much of a kick out of the 'he eats fried chicken all the time!' jokes. Like, his favorite food was described as just "chicken", at least let the guy have some variety in what *kind* he's eating all the time.

Favorite relationship: ...Endeavor (Speaking of unpopular opinions, lol). I enjoy it as it is canonically, especially for what it shows about Hawks. He is willing to support anyone in their attempts to improve themselves, as long as they are willing to do so, and I think that's a wonderful trait. It's interesting, to me, that for as much as he's looked up to Endeavor every since he arrested Hawks' abusive dad, he still sees him as a man that *needs* to change (and he'll help him get there because he's a pusher!). I also enjoy endhawks romantically, messiness and all. They really support each other a lot in canon, and it was probably the most surprising thing to me out of everything involving Hawks as I caught up on the series. I wasn't expecting the oddly soft moments, and the open vulnerability. Like, I literally did not see hints of ANY of their interactions on initial surface browsing of what I'd missed of BNHA, probably bc h0twings was very much at its peak back then, haha. I was also talking to a friend about it and came to the dawning realization that their dynamic reminds me of KuroFai (a Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles ship), which is one of my oldest OTPs. And I'll admit, I'm weak for a good size difference.

Favorite headcanon: bird feet, Bird Feet, BIRD FEET, BIRD FEET, BIRD FE-