#slight tw

[queer-little-demigod]

i wish i were special - clarisse la rue

summary glory matters more to her than you do.

fic type angst/hurt

pairing clarisse la rue x fem!hades!reader

word count 1k

warnings clarisse being mean, neglect, sadness, hurt, breakup, implied su!c!de

masterlist

That evening in the Hades cabin was lonely as per usual. You sat there, feeling stupid as you stared at the black candles flickering their orange light against the silver candleabra you had so painstakingly found out from the lost-and-found (ironically).

The dinner had been set, with Clarisse's favourite pasta with meat sauce, and two glasses of cranberry juice. All for her.

It had started with shying away from your touch in public, passing a comment here and there. But over time it got harder and harder to ignore.

Why didn't you do anything, Y/n? You might be thinking.

You just couldn't bring yourself to tell her she was being shitty, because more often than not she'd dedicate a win to you. With a speech, her lips on your skin, her hands on your body.

But ever since Percy came to camp, it’s always been about glory. It’s always been about being one step ahead of that random little twelve year old who just had a bout of good luck (in Clarisse’s opinion) and killed a Minotaur on his first monster encounter?

It was obviously more than that, too, but it still hurt the same.

It hurt even more that you had planned this date all by yourself, when she knew what a problem attachment and intimacy was to you, and she just didn’t show up.

You had poured your heart and soul into this, a way to show her how much you love her. A way to show her that you cared and weren’t just some unemotional Hades kid like everyone else thought you were. You actually wanted to show that you were different from everyone, not just the girls, because your godly parent, for the last eight years, had dictated how people saw you. How they assumed you were.

You gave up after a while, and lay back in your bed, staring at the ceiling after blowing out the candles on the little desk you made a makeshift dinner table.

‘What did I do wrong?’ Was your only question. ‘Was she tired of me?’ ‘Am I too much for her?’ ‘Is it because I’m a Hades kid?’

Little by little, you felt your heart break. Like a sculptor’s stone being chipped away bit by bit to make a painful masterpiece. You loathed having such a godly parent, you wished with all your might that things were different.

That maybe you were still special to her.

The next day, she came up to you with excitement. “Y/n, baby guess what—“

You didn’t want to hear it. Your whole body screamed at you to leave that situation, to walk away, make her feel shitty the way she made you feel shitty.

But you just couldn't.

You thought it would mzke you too vengeful, thought it would potray you as petty. It was just a missed date, she could've been busy, she forgot to tell you.

Intentional or not, it still hurt.

"That's amazing," you smiled tightly, resisting the urge to slide out of her touch as she swung an arm across your shoulders.

You loved her, but why did her touch feel like it was knives dragging down your skin? Why did it feel like she was not your girlfriend, but an outsider? An outsider who was trying to touch you.

She was just a stranger wearing your lover's face.

Three days later, it happened again.

You sat at the campfire alone, feeling far too shy to talk to the other campers, noticing how they shuffled away from you or formed such close-knit groups that you were physically excluded as well. How they whispered and stopped when you came. You saw it all. It sucked.

But what sucked the most was Clarisse not saying a single thing against it. How she, too, stayed with her group, not bothering to include you in any way whatsoever.

Your mind raced. Did you do something wrong again? Why was she doing this?

You saw that unlike usual, she didn't come to you in the evening to stargaze or just talk. She was at the training grounds. Again.

You understood that the battlefield was her temple, her spear her idol, the battlecry her prayer, but you also wished that you were as special to her as you once were.

You were a battlefield, but just the aftermath. The battlefield when it was littered with bodies, blood clumping up the soil and the air hanging heavy with the stench of death.

But you wanted more. You wanted something different.

You wanted to be the battlefield she was so devoted to. You wanted to be the spear she was with every evening, you wanted to hear the loving prayers she whispered to her spear once she finished her training.

Was it the loving prayers you wanted or the sound of her voice in that sweet tone once again? The tone which held all the adoration the world of war could offer, all the gentleness a child of the fierce battle could provide.

You wished you were special.

"Clarisse, you wanna hang out this evening?" You asked her again the following night.

"Can't," she said after ushering her friends away. Atleast she still valued private conversation.

"Why not?"

"I'm busy,"

"Doing what?"

"Why do you need to know?"

The way she snapped that last sentence, it made something in your heart ache. She knew you hated it when she snapped at you. She knew that you did feel lonely.

She knew it all.

You stared at the ground and sighed softly, "I don't,"

"Exactly," she scoffed. "Stop being so clingy, Y/n."

Clingy? Were you...was this her actual thought? Every time she said she loved it when you spent time with her...was it a lie? A petty lie sold to the naive, lonely Hades kid?

"Sorry," you shrugged, "I'll stop asking," you punctuated your sentence by turning around and walking off.

Why didn't she call back for you?

Why didn't she run after you?

Why weren't you special?

The next week went by the same. She would say she'd show up, she wouldn't, you'd ask, you'd be insulted. Over and over and over again.

One night, after you had spent another evening alone, you took a deep breath in and tapped on her shoulder, stating firmly, "We need to talk, Clarisse."

She was shocked. Shocked by the fact that you used her full name. You never used her full name. Ever.

You felt your palms sweat, your mind race, and your whole body almost seize up with nerves.

"Look, I get that you want glory in the upcoming capture the flag, you want glory at camp, you want glory in some quest or the other," you firmly stated. "But is glory worth more than me?"

A small, amused smile spread over her lips. "Is someone jealous?"

"Don't fucking tease me," you snapped, having had enough. "I'm not jealous, I'm--I'm angry. I hate being angry, but I especially hate being angry at you."

"Me? What did I do?"

An incredulous laugh escaped your lips. "What did--what did you do? How about we focus on what you didn't do?"

"Didn't--? Get to the point!"

"So you don't remember the missed dates, forgotten evenings, times where I wanted to talk but you called me--" You inhaled deeply, keeping yourself from bursting into tears. "You called me clingy or annoying or attention-seeking. I have ignored your shitty treatment for far too long Clarisse!"

Your heart ached as you saw her deadpan expression, her emotionless gaze. You felt your throat close up. You were in the middle of the ocean, salt water filling your lungs, stealing the breath out of them.

"I think you're overthinking it," she shrugged.

The water vanished. Now all that remained was fire. A new fire that coursed through your normally cold veins, that made you see red. It took everything in you not to punch her in the face.

"Really? You said that I was special," you snarled, glaring at her. "You said you'll never leave me alone, you'll never make me believe the bad thoughts in my head, and now I see that it's exactly what you do!"

Her silence is what hurt the most. She wasn't denying it, she wasn't apologising.

"Clarisse, don't you know how I feel? When I try to talk to people, they turn their heads with an awkward smile. When I walk into a room, people stop talking or laughing. When I sit near people they shuffle away, and for what? Because my father is the god of the dead. I'm punished day and night for something that I can't fucking control.

"You were the one who got me. You made me feel wanted, you made me want to wake up and live to see another godsforsaken day! But now..." you looked at the ground. No, you glared at the ground. You couldn't see her face.

"I always emerge victorious in the end," she said, shoving her hands in her pockets.

Gods, you wanted those hands to hold you close and wipe your tears away.

You felt your heart break. "What?"

"I always emerge victorious in the end. Glory is what I live for," she said plainly.

Each word felt like a stab to the gut. Each word cut through you like a knife, like her spear tip cut through the training dummies in the arena.

"Glory matters more than me?" You whispered, looking up at her.

Clarisse felt her heart break at the look in your eyes.

You looked...hollow. Empty, a shell of a person. There was no twinkle in your eye, there wasn't the flash of laughter within them that she always saw. They didn't glow with an aura of love.

Empty. Like every child of the god of the dead would have seemed to be.

"Glory matters more than everything,"

"You said I was your everything,"

"Did you note the past tense, death girl?"

You didn't want to reply. You couldn't. You refused to talk to her after that sentence. Death girl?

If this is what love is, you didn’t want it.

Why did glory matter more to her than you did? You probably would never find out.

You wished you were special.

And you would just have to keep on wishing.

Hi! It’s me, Lea! I hope you liked this imagine, feel free to request <3

[theangelshifter]

Simple things I’ll be able to do in my DR that I can’t do here:

- Be able to talk to my parents freely

- Be able to smile with my teeth without feeling bad

- Be able to have a snack without feeling like I’m eating too much

- Be able to not have to worry about what people around me think

- Not have to worry about messing up

- Not have to stress over temporary things

- Feel secure and feel like I have a secure future

[pickledbread999]

Hi everyone... 🙈 I dipped for pretty long, huh? Anywho, guess who has a new hyperfixation.....

[spidrgrl]

In contrast to the 3 favorite characters, which 3 characters you hate the most in homestuck.

Oh gyatt

Honorable mentions before my big three: Doc Scratch........ And Rose and Jade from HS^2 (HOMESTUCK TWO ONLY. I don't hate them otherwise)

Also, slight TW for stuff that's happened with Meenah. I don't go in depth but I still wanna warn, skip number 2 entirely if you're uncomfortable with reading about it!!!!!!!!

Well, drumroll please for a VERY big yap sesh!!!!!!!!

Number 3 is

Aradiabot.

Tbh I don't hate her THAT much anymore. It's just she's a lot easier to explain than my Honorable Mentions™. It's more of a hate for Hussie's bad writing.

As a character, she's perfect. Perfect perfect perfect. She's so badass that a lot of people in the Homestuck fandom can't really comprehend it, so they call her boring! I don't blame those people though. Her actions were cool, but she herself wasn't since she hardly had a personality or emotions, and that's wonderful for a robot character!

But as a replacement for a friend???????? No. Absolutely not. It's like having a corpse of someone close to you and reminding you of everything that you caused. And you know what? The corpse hardly speaks, because it's DEAD.

I hated her for the entire time she was near me, and now I only kinda resent her as a character and both as a replacement for Aradia. She could sense those emotions, but she didn't care. Never cared! She was only a vessel that held a troll, and she didn't care about that either. She only cared about doing what was programmed for her to do.

I knew she hated me at least a little. But besides punching me in the face, she didn't say anything. No closure, no anything, just a cold metal punch to the face to a girl that's already kicked down! I wouldn't blame her for it if it was Aradia, but Aradiabot had nothing behind that punch. She had more emotions for EQUIUS just because she was PROGRAMMED/WRITTEN TO BE.

This is one of the reasons why Hussie's writing pisses me off! He replaced a PERFECTLY GOOD TROLL with a ROBOT and hardly ever talked about her ever again unless if it was for like, one or two panels. One of the best characters had her reputation absolutely TRASHED and now everybody thinks she's boring just because of ARADIABOT taking her place.

She could've been a lot cooler for a girl that stole Aradia's identity and story, y'know? That's mainly where my resentment lies.

Thankfully, she's not at all as bad as my number 2, which is

Meenah.

I DESPISE her. Not in a pitch way, my god. I loathe her in a way that means I want her dead. I wish I never met her, seriously. One of the worst cases of my bad luck was meeting her.

I think you guys could understand why I hate her already, but that's not the ONLY reason why either. So here's a list chat

Literally WRITTEN to be only terrible and a gag. As a character, all she has going for her is shittiness and stolen swag from The Condesce. We don't even know WHY she is the way she is, hardly any detail is given to backstory unlike me and my friends, so all readers know about her is that she's a trashy creep with a cool design and a want for money and power.

Has the same problem pretty much all of the dancestors do! Having a cool design and theme but they're two dimensional, almost always sexual, and having weird relationships with trolls that are a GENERATION younger than them.

Another very clear display of Hussie's shitty writing and bad decision making. He completely TOSSED the idea of a good character when he made her.

The things she did to me.

The things she did to Karkat.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT???????? SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT IT'S BAD. SHE VERY CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT SHE WAS DOING, IT'S THE ONLY TIME THAT THIS TYPE OF TOPIC IS NOT IN A JOKING LIGHT.

Oh, but that's not all!!!!!!!! For some reason, the GENIUSES for HS^2/Homestuck Beyond Canon decided, hey, let's KEEP THE CREEP and have her in a MATESPIRIT RELATIONSHIP with, oh I dunno, ONE OF THE TROLL KIDS SHE MET WHEN THEY WERE 6 SWEEPS (13 YEARS) OLD and she was 9 SWEEPS (19 YEARS) OLD. Yeah, that's so smart guys, bravo, you guys are really fixing up the dumpster fire that is Hussie's writing with some fuel. /j /sarc

Plus not to mention the fact that basically ALL proshippers in the Homestuck fandom crowd around her and romanticize what she did. Especially what she did to me. Like her whole existence endangers me even now. Yeah guys, let's NOT ship an abuser x victim.

Cry harder mf you know what you did. Scott Pilgrim ahh

Anyways, despite how much I wish Meenah never existed, you wanna know who I somehow hate more than her? My number 1 is

Hussie.

Andrew Hussie. The Huss.

Look, I do applaud him for making Homestuck. But I also punch him in the face for making Homestuck. Man, he should've given the story to Toby Fox or something, just ANYBODY but him.

No Hussie. Not like that. Stop producing new updates for HS^2, they CLEARLY got their writing skills from you.

And also, added to your terrible writing, why in the FUHREAK did you propose to your own character when she was a minor. Then also whine about getting rejected to another one of your characters (Cronus). Not to mention you actually sat at your desk and wrote the entire thing.

Like ew

Anyways, this EVEN BIGGER yap sesh is done!!!!!!!! Ty for asking anon

P.S.: if you're an introject of anybody on this list, I don't hate you specifically. If you want we can yap about source (except Meenah, I don't blame you for source but I wouldn't be able to talk with you, sorry)!

[thesaltoftheshaker]

lazy rosie drawing!!! very messy once again but i’m finally done with exams so im gonna draw smthn soon that actually looks neat pinkie swear😪😪😪

‼️//CW FOR KINDA GOREISH VER UNDER CUT!!! (it’s sloppy☹️)//‼️

someone get her a napkin ☹️☹️

[shibusawaz]

mmhuhuhih art dump because genuinely the FUCK am i supposed to post on my tumblr now rhat i have an active social life

[jess-the-hyness]

Something I feel Very Strongly about is the misinterpretation of Lolita, especially Visually. I think it started about 3rd edition, or recently after the first interaction of film came out. Beyond the disaster of producing, it started a flattening of the book and message... The heart shaped glasses and seductive lollipop ("loli-pop" *gags*) just defeats any argue against the harmful nature of what Lolita has groen to. Not a terrifying look into what someone says to justify the worst, but the demonization of the victim.

Anyway, I painted over my copy in a way that I feel doesn't glorify

It's something but a silent protest even still

[eepymonstrr]

halo you gotta shower. just get in there it’ll be fine. you’ll be okay. it’s not gonna get you. halo just sit on your shower chair. you’re fine. you’re safe. halo get clean. please. please just shut off your brain and do it. just get clean. it’s fine. it’s not going to get you. you don’t have to panic. please.

[hime-the-kage]

Wally as that one screenshot

But a little…

…different

Ref and alt ver

[zombiidolli]

[ericaportfolio]

TW: For references/mentions of abuse. You all are going to hate this character.

After some of the last crazy few weeks, I finally finished another character sheet based on the art from the Hello Puppets games with another OC I created if the show did not get canceled, no fire, and no possessed murder puppets ever happened. This character was created when the Lackadaisy Pilot came out, but I added some Helluva Boss (don't watch the show if you are under 18 kids, please wait) mafia episode influences.

On the outside, Francis Nack, Father of Nick Nack, runs an Arcade Casino in one of the cities near the town the Handeemen lives. But in reality, Francis is the French Mob Boss and uses his Arcade Casino as a coverup for a money racketeering scheme. Sadly, after years of emotional and physical abuse, when Nick was about to turn 18 in a month, he was secretly approached by a banker who was hired by his missing mother, Jancis, years ago to give Nick his inheritance from her to use if he wanted to get away from the crime family and use that money for anything he wants to pursue. Obviously, Nick took the money, went to an art college, and years later joined the newly formed Handeemen group that later became a show. Blessing or a curse, on the premiere episode of Season 3, when the Handeemen accepted an offer to help a kid win a pinball tournament, they are suddenly picked up by a mysterious luxurious travel escort transportation. To Nick's (even Virginia's) dismay, it turned out that the pinball tournament was taking place at the same Arcade Casino with Francis waiting for them. As Francis's premiere episode progresses, his intentions are made clear becoming the main antagonist for Season 3. Yep, Season 3 became a French parody of The Godfather.

Historically, the law chased the Mafia out of Las Vegas during the Mid-1980s. Whoever got the character approved by the censors must have been the many therapists at the time when PSA episodes really started to kick in the late 1980s/early 1990s to spread awareness of child abuse because the Handeemen fandom was theorizing if Nick came from an abusive home, but nobody was expecting The Godfather route. So what better way to bring awareness than by making the abuser the main antagonist for the season. Francis is literally the French version of The Godfather. Along with Lackadaisy and Helluva Boss, his biggest inspiration came from the 2003 French animated comedy, The Triplets of Belleville, which is a CLASSIC!!! Though be warned of mature content in the film since the movie is for audiences thirteen and up. The mafia in that film is similar to the Nack Mob in this AU. Like father like son, they are almost alike, except for height and Francis is commonly nicknamed Scarface for his scar. Francis originally had Brown Hair that faded over time. To get the season approved by the producers and the censors, instead of having a regular Casino as a backdrop, they instead went with an Arcade Casino with arcade games, pinballs, and fair games in a classic Las Vegas-like setting.

Nick's mom, Jancis Nack, was a mixture of Riley and Daisy with Audrey Hepburn influences. Speaking of Daisy, Jancis's hair was inspired by Daisy's blueprints from the Hello Puppets games. Nick's mom's disappearance becomes one of the biggest mysteries in the show, some thinking Francis had something to do with it. So yeah, Nick has 🎵 parent/daddy issues🎵 everybody!

[ceoandslutler]

how antis sound when talking about sebaciel

source and full video here - context: the pride merch at target controversy (aka just rainbow capitalism pissing off right wingers)

more info under the cut

person in video: benny johnson, ex-columnist at buzzfeed exposed for plagiarism, current right wing commentator and "journalist" (source x)

[tapiocap3arl]

im going to be 25 at the end of the year and i don’t have a plan for after college (ive been working on a ba for 6 years) and i am learning to be okay with all of that because there is so much life to live and i don’t want to waste a second of my life hating myself and actively trying to die anymore <3 idk that’s like big for me and i wanted to share that for anyone who may be feeling the same way,, divine timing is real and so is manifestation (i have everything i want anyway!) also isn’t it kinda great we don’t know how every second of our lives are going to play out ? ya it is

[crynghost]

Um so… yes

Having flashbacks so Shadow has to suffer with me

Tw for slight bl0od altough rly its just red

[theautisticfroglord]

blush chart except julius

(creds to @deeppink-man for the chart)

[undercoveralienx3]

Slight tw = SCARS!!

LUPIN STOP BREAKING OUTSIDE OF THE CANVAS >:C

(MADE IN IBIS PAINT)

(TIME TAKEN=like 3 & and half hours 💀😰)

(reposts are appreciated 💖💖💖)