#it's literally a part of their job to accommodate people with food restrictions

[autie-hobbit]

Something that people seem to have no conception of, unless they've experienced it themselves, is how fucking isolating it is to not be able to eat a lot of foods that most people can eat.

"People with allergies just shouldn't go out to eat, because it's selfish to make your allergies other people's problem."

Humans like to eat. Humans like to eat when they hang out. Humans go out to eat to hang out. Eating is incredibly important in social situations. It's just a thing that we do. Not being able to eat in these situations is incredibly fucking isolating.

I remember being a kid, sitting in one of my social groups, watching them all eat pizza, alone, while I got nothing, because my social group leader forgot to get me something to replace it. Again.

And this shit still happens to me, even now.

Disabled people deserve to experience luxuries just like everyone else, including going out to eat. Safely.

[letsdiscoverkitty]

"Life" Update - May 2021

This is the last of the three updates I have to post at the moment. If anyone actually reads these, especially in one go, you really do deserve a medal and I have no idea what I have done to deserve your kindness and support but THANK YOU SO MUCH (to all of you who are here, you are all truly wonderful and amazing) Okay, let's get going....

I suppose the title is a bit, well, overkill. To say that anyone has been had any sort of "life" over the past year would be a huge misuse of the word. The global pandemic has, quite literally, turned life upside down for the vast majority of people and I know that lockdowns, especially in the UK, have meant that anything other than what was deemed "essential" has been off the cards, which has hit us all hard.

I personally found it quite difficult whilst I was in hospital as although on the one hand it was good to know that there wasn't much that you were missing out on whilst locked on a ward with 15 minutes fresh air (if you were lucky), it did make it hard to find/hold onto motivation at times. Coupled with the fear of how my dad's condition would progress, whether he would make it and what sort of home life I would be going back to; the world suddenly felt even noisier than it had before (which I didn't think was really possible). The situation seemed to further heighten my fears as well as add to them. I found my mind was swamped with so many questions and fears, to then be asked about my future/what I wanted to do with my life (that classic question) and what my motivations were to get better, was too much. I fell blank.

I had completely lost myself and any shed of hope that was left inside of me. I tried to put on a smile; paint a different picture to the outside world but inside I was dark. I was hollow. I was empty.

What was the point? You never know what is waiting around the corner; everything can turn upside down overnight. What kind of 'life' would there be going back to anyway? Would it be possible to go to University anymore or would there still be multiple restrictions in place? would that make the huge financial costs worth it? What sort of society will we be coming out of the pandemic anyway? Will we even come out of this? Will people ever go back to offices again? Will we be able to see friends soon or go out to places? What about travelling? Fun? LIFE?

I found depression swamped me more than ever after dad's accident. I was trying to hold myself together for mum but I was losing all hope of anything ever being 'the same' or 'okay' again. In the end, the only reason I accepted the admission was for mum - I wanted to be able to support her with dad in hospital and us not know what the future held; as much as I wished I could be there all the time, I knew in the state I was that I couldn't. Initially I was told the admission would be a short one, that I could then go back home to support my mum through the family trauma...but that 4 weeks soon turned into over 8 months, which I still can't believe.

Gosh, I am sorry, I seem to have got a little distracted. This was meant to be the POSITIVE update. So let's get to those bits...

NEWS ONE: I HAVE A JOB (starting in Sept)

So whilst in hospital my consultant kept trying to get me to think about what I wanted to do with my life (just the small questions you know *lol*) - in her eyes she thought it would be risky to go back to University to do neuroscience/a degree so intense, and that instead I should think about doing something more creative, taking small steps to get a part time job and then go from there - which, as much as I hated to admit, I agreed with. However after one particularly bad run-in with the nutritionist when she decided to tell me that she didn't think I could achieve a life beyond Anorexia (it must have been mid-way-ish through my admission) blah blah blah (I get that she could have been trying to motivate me but there is a way to go about it and then there are ways to really not go about it and she chose the latter). Anyway, I was rather angry/mad and ended up doing basically trying to prove everyone wrong and started doing some research into my different options...

Long story short: I ended up applying to a degree apprenticeship scheme in business management...I've never really considered something like this before, perhaps partially because at school they drilled into me that business was a "soft" subject as it would not be looked upon very highly for Oxbridge applications *rolls eyes*. Thankfully I did a lot of research into Degree Apprenticeships a few years ago so I knew where to look online. Anyway, back to this application. I ended up going through the process/tests, somehow managing to make it through the initial online stages, then just before I was discharged I was invited to a online interview!

I only had a few days to do the interview before it timed out so I actually ended up doing it In the end the day after I was discharged (not ideal) and I was convinced that I had messed it up as it was one of those ones where you get shown the question for around 30 seconds before being given 2 minutes to respond - i.e. stress.pressure.anxiety.stumbling over words. HORRENDOUS.

I somehow passed the interview and the reviews before being invited to an online assessment centre in Feb, which spanned a whole day and included multiple interviews (the first was a strengths based interview with 2 interviewers for just over an hour - yuck!!!) as well as a presentation which we were given 24hrs in advance to prepare for (we were given 4 'topics'/questions and had to answer all of them in a 15 minute window using aids if we chose to, again to 2 (different) interviewers before having a 45 minute further interview - double yuck!)

Dare I say that I actually enjoyed the preparation for the presentation and the interviews?! It was so nice to have a focus and something to be working on that I was actually really beginning to connect with/want/see myself doing. The interviews and presentation themselves? HORRIBLE but the process reignited something within me. After the assessment centre day we were told it could be 7-10 working days to hear back from them - waiting for anything like this is just the worst so I wasn't looking forward to it and tried not to get my hopes up as these schemes are ridiculously hard to get into... Well, I got the call the next day saying that they were so impressed and out of something like 14,000 applications, I was offered one of the spaces on the scheme!! - I honestly still can't believe it and imposter syndrome is v real -

I know at the beginning of this I sounded very blase about the whole thing but as I progressed through the process, as I read more about the scheme and the business and what it would entail, the more I began to get excited. The more I realised how interesting it was and what an amazing opportunity it would be for me.

Despite this, I was also at the time, finishing up yet another an application to University (for the millionth time, I swear I must be a pro at these personal statements by now) this time for psychology and behavioural studies. This was before I got the offer of the degree apprenticeship scheme, which I knew was a long shot with only a handful of places given for thousands of applicants, so I felt I had to keep my options open (Neuro is still an area of fascination to me but not so much with the INTENSE LEVEL of physiology and pharmacology that I was doing at Bristol. Yes bits of it were good and interesting but that degree was ridiculous and, again, I felt far more drawn towards the behavioural studies and psychology when researching into Universities). I ended up getting 3 offers, 1 interview for Cambridge and 1 rejection (ironically from Bristol, even with my recommendation/support being from my previous personal tutor at Bristol!) - so I suddenly had options. And then the offer from the degree apprenticeship came through and there were even more options to choose from.

It honestly felt so surreal (and still does).

In the end, after a lot of thinking and debating and researching and talking, I decided to withdraw my University application and I accepted the degree apprenticeship role. Overall it is such an incredible opportunity that I knew I couldn't turn down, whereas University will always be there. I am actually getting a little excited about it (as well as extremely nervous, but I must say that the company has made a really positive/good impression thus far, even as far as creating MH podcasts with a psychologist for us and offering things like zoom baking sessions!).

So what is this degree apprenticeship? In short, it is a 3 year course during which I will have a Monday to Friday job at the company (for which the office is actually commutable from home - it is about 1hrs drive, which is not the best but it does mean that I can stay at home for at least the first year and there is a train I could get if I was too tired to do the drive all the time. As much as staying at home is not my long term plan it might help with the transition back to work/education to have a bit of stability and the support). During the first 2 years at the company we do four separate 6 month rotations in different areas to get lots of experience (marketing, supply chain, sales etc) whilst in the final year you get to put in a preference for where you would like to work for the year long placement. During this, every 6 or 7 weeks, we have to spend a week at University (which is not in commutable distance at all so the the company pays for our accommodation, travel and food during this time). As far as I have been told, we also get time during the working week allocated to do Uni work as well as our standard 'desk' jobs. Oh and not to mention one of the biggest sellers for degree apprenticeships....the company is basically sponsoring you so pays ALL of your tuition fees PLUS a basic salary! This means that you come out, in this case, with a Chartered business management degree, 3 years of hands-on work experience, as well as you being pretty much guaranteed a job within the company AND no student debt!!! How incredible is that? PLUS one big perk of the job is that they allow dogs in the office - I mean how could I say no to that?!!!!

So yes, by some magical miracle I actually have a job lined up for September! It still doesn't feel real and I am yet to fully process it. They don't know how it will be affected by COVID but the company did continue the programme last year (unlike some that postponed) so fingers crossed all should be going ahead. I have 'met' the other 4(?) who are on the scheme at my office as well and they seem lovely (including one other person who is my age/slightly older - which was such a relief as I was worried about it being only people just out of college).

I realise that it is going to be tough, I do not underestimate that at all, but I couldn't let anorexia still yet ANOTHER life milestone and opportunity away from me. There was a lot of questioning as to whether I should take it or not; I went back and forth between many spreadsheets that I made but I think this opportunity far outweighs going back to University. I have tried that route twice already and had to leave because of everything/haven't really coped (I think in some ways, being at Uni there is TOO MUCH free time and it allowed my perfectionism to run riot as I always felt like I was 'behind' in one way or another?). And that is not to mention that if I was going back to University, I would need to spend another 3-4 years studying, I would leave with little work experience or job in mind at the age of 29/30 with a mountain of debt.... And as I said before, I can always go back to University if I want to in the future/re train if I decide to, but this opportunity with a global company, well, this will never ever come my way again.

So yes that is my BIG BIG news. But I also have one more bit of news....

I'm getting a kitten. Yes, A KITTEN!!!!! I have so much more to say on this but for now you will have to wait and see. Photos will come when SHE does (a couple of weeks now)!!!

[aion-rsa]

Squid Game’s Scathing Critique of Capitalism

https://ift.tt/3kOEMpF

This Squid Game article contains MAJOR spoilers.

From the very first game of ddakji out in the real world with Train to Busan actor Gong Yoo, Squid Game poses the question: how far would you go for money? How much of your body, your life, would you trade to keep the wolves at bay and to get to live the life you’ve always dreamed? Once you start, could you stop, even if you wanted to? And in the end, would it even be worth it? While Squid Game depicts an attempt to answer these questions taken to the extreme, they are the same essential questions posed to everyone living under capitalism: What kind of job, what terrible hours, what back-breaking labor, what level of abuse, what work/life imbalance will we tolerate in exchange for what we need or want to live? Unlike many examples of this genre, Squid Game is set in our contemporary reality, which makes its scathing critique of capitalism less of a metaphor for the world we live in and more of a literal depiction of life under capitalism.

Squid Game’s Workers

At the most basic level, the entire competition within Squid Game would not exist without extreme financial distress creating a ready pool of players. It’s no coincidence that Gi-hun’s hard times started when he lost his job, followed by violence against the workers who went on strike. Strike-breakers and physical violence against striking workers may feel like an antiquated idea to an American audience. South Korea, however, has something of an anti-labor reputation, with only 10% of its workers in unions and laws limiting unions to negotiating pay, among other restrictions. In the US, the anti-labor fight is alive and well, though transformed, where it takes the shape of the deceptively named “Right to Work” laws, which benefit corporations and make it harder for unions to operate.

As noted in our review, (most of) the players choose to leave and then willingly return to the arena, which separates Squid Game from other entries in the genre like the Hunger Games series and Escape Room. This element of volition contributes to the series’ primary critical goal. As Mi-nyeo and others brought up early on, they’re getting killed in the real world too, but at least inside they might actually get something for their troubles. 

As an anti-capitalist parable, the only ways to fight back or upend the game in some small way are through acts of solidarity or by turning down the allure of the cash. The final clause in the game’s consent form states that the game can end if a majority of players agree to do so. After the brutal Red Light, Green Light massacre in the first, they do exactly that. The election might as well be a union vote. It’s shocking that the contract for the game included an escape clause at all, but it seems the host and his ilk enjoy at least allowing the illusion of free will if nothing else. The players who didn’t return after the first vote to leave the game, though unseen in this narrative, are perhaps the wisest of all. 

Read more

TV

Squid Game’s Most Heartbreaking Hour is Also Its Best

By Kayti Burt

TV

Squid Game Ending Explained

By Kayti Burt

During tug of war, Gi-hun’s team surprises everyone by winning. Their teamwork, unity of purpose, and superior strategy help them defeat a stronger adversary, which is a basic principle of labor organizing, albeit usually not at the expense of the lives of other workers. Player 1 (Il-nam) and Player 240 (Ji-yeong) each find their own way to beat the game by essentially backing out of the competition during marbles. In exchange for friendship and choosing the circumstances of their own deaths, Ji-yeong and Il-nam each make their own, ethically sound choice under this miserable system. Il-nam gets an asterisk since he was never going to die, but he still found a choice beyond merely “kill” or “be killed” by teaching his Gganbu one “last” lesson and helping him continue on in the game. 

In the end, Gi-hun confounds the VIPs and the Front Man by coming to the precipice of victory and simply walking away. Under capitalism, this group of incredibly rich men simply could not understand how someone could come so close to claiming their prize, and choose not to. But for Gi-hun, human life always had greater value. Gi-hun followed (Player 67) Sae-byeok’s advice and stayed true to himself, refusing to actively take anyone’s life, especially not the life of his friend. 

Squid Game’s Ruling Class

Since the competition only exists because of the worst aspects of capitalism, it’s not surprising that in the end, it is itself a capitalist endeavor. Ultra-wealthy VIPs, who mostly seem to be white, Western men, spectate for a price and bet on the game. In their luxury accommodations, they lounge on silent human “furniture” and mistreat service staff. In one notable example, a VIP threatens to kill a server (who the audience knows to be undercover cop Hwang Jun-ho) if he doesn’t remove his mask, even though the VIP knows it would cost the server his life. 

Perhaps most enraging of all is what Player 1, who turns out to actually be the Host, has to say to Gi-hun a year after the game ends. It all circles back to the game’s existential connection to economics; on the one hand, there is the unshakeable link to a population in which a significant portion of people suffer from dire financial woes. On the other hand, there is the Host and his cronies, the ultra-rich who are so bored from their megarich lives that they decided to bet on deadly human bloodsport for fun just so they could feel something again, as though they were betting on horses. 

In spite of the enormous gulf between the two, the Host attempts to draw comparisons between the ultra-wealthy and the extreme poor, saying both are miserable. His little joke denies the reality of hunger, early death, trauma, and many other ways that being poor is actively harmful, both physically and mentally. It’s the kind of slow death that makes risking a quick one in the arena seem reasonable. He and his buddies were just kind of bored. Moreover, the Host denies the role of economic coercion in players taking part in the game, insisting that everyone was there of their own free will. But what free will can there be for people who owe millions, with families at home to care for and creditors at their back, when someone comes along and offers a solution, even a dangerous one? Anyone who has taken a dodgy job offer to get away from a worse one, or because they’re unemployed and the rent and college loans are due, knows that there is a limit to how truly free our choices can be when we need money, especially if there’s little to no safety net. 

Read more

TV

Why Are Squid Game’s English-Language Actors So Bad?

By Kayti Burt

TV

Best Squid Game Doll Sightings

By Kayti Burt

Throughout the series, it is clear that someone had to be funding Squid Game at a high level. Unlike science fiction or fantasy takes, the show is grounded in our current reality, so the large-scale, high-tech obstacles and the island locale must have cost a pretty penny. Of course for any who see it as unrealistic, consider the example of Jeffrey Epstein, a man who bought an island from the US government and ran a sexual abuse and human trafficking ring not entirely disimilar (though far more pedestrian in its purpose) from this one. 

The Host is able to pay for everything because he works in – you guessed it – banking. It’s a profession where he gained wealth by moving capital around. Given the Korean debt crisis – South Korea has the highest household debt in the world, both in size and growth – his profession makes him a worthy villain, in the same way the Lehman Brothers were after the 2008 crash. The bank executive calls in Gi-hun to offer him investment products and services, because of course someone with 45 billion won can accrue significantly more money passively, and who wouldn’t want that? Gi-hun’s decision to walk away is a callback to his earlier attempt to walk away from Squid Game when millions of dollars was within his grasp.

Throughout the series, the people running the game actively pit the players against one another in much the same way capitalism pits workers against one another. Whether they’re giving the players less food to encourage a fight overnight, the daily influx of cash every time another player dies, or giving them knives for the evening, the mysterious people pulling the strings want the players to fight each other like crabs in a barrel so they can’t work together to figure out what’s going on or take on the guys in red jumpsuits. Though there are notable examples of the players working together to succeed, it is always within the rules of the system. It is never treated as a viable or likely option for the players to team up and take the blood money literally hanging over their heads or to prevent death, merely to redirect it or choose how they will die. No, to win that, they must play the Squid Game’s rules. 

In our society, this kind of worker-vs-worker rhetoric takes the form of employers telling workers their workload is harder or they can’t go on vacation or get a raise because of fellow employees who leave or go on maternity leave.. In reality, these are all normal aspects of managing a business that employers should plan for, and their failure to do so is not the fault of their workers. Much like in Squid Game, it benefits managers and owners if workers are too busy being mad at each other to have time or energy to fight the system and those who make unjust rules in the first place. 

Squid Game’s Managers

The Front Man insists the game is fair, gruesomely hanging the dead bodies of those involved in the organ harvesting scheme because they traded medical knowledge for advanced intel on the game. However, like capitalism, there are many ways that the system is clearly rigged, no matter what the people at the top insist. There’s the obvious corruption in the organ harvesting ring, but even at its “purest” form, the game is not equitable. Sometimes the managers and soldiers in red jumpsuits stand by when unfair things happen, like Deok-su and his cronies stealing food. At other times, the people in charge intervene in player squabbles, like enforcing nonviolence during marbles and elections but encouraging violence at other times. They especially set things up to their own advantage, such as cutting the lights so the players couldn’t see the glass in the penultimate game, or the way they set up the election. Everyone knew how everyone else voted, they shared the total amount of money immediately beforehand, in an attempt to sway votes, calling to mind Amazon’s scare tactics before the recent unionization vote.

Read more

Culture

Squid Game Competitions, As Played By BTS

By Kayti Burt

Movies

Squid Game: Best Deadly Competition TV Shows & Movies to Watch Next

By Kayti Burt and 3 others

Ultimately, much like any manager/employer, the Front Man’s insistence on fairness has nothing to do with the actual value of equality, but rather the capitalist need to ensure betters are happy with the stakes and their chance at a favorable outcome. 

Even the workers, soldiers and managers in red jumpsuits, who seem to be in charge, are ultimately only in power (and alive) so long as they serve the needs of the system. Like so many low-level managers, many wield their tiny amount of power ruthlessly, shooting players with impunity or running their organ harvesting side gig. It soon becomes clear that they’re as expendable as players, if not moreso, and the Front Man shoots them without hesitating. A player asks (and it’s too bad we never learned) what “they” did to the people in red jumpsuits to get them to run this game, but it’s not too hard to guess. They seem to be very young men, who likely needed money and wouldn’t be missed if they never returned. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The biggest trick capitalism ever pulled was convincing workers it’s a zero-sum game, that anything we want but don’t have is the fault of someone else who “took it” from us. Within the game, that means every player was a living obstacle to the money, and that Gi-hun should kill his childhood friend to succeed and celebrate when he’s done. But as we see after he “wins,” even without taking Sang-woo’s life himself, the money isn’t worth it. The greater success would have been both men walking out of the arena alive.

The post Squid Game’s Scathing Critique of Capitalism appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3CUfVXz

[vssoise]

Lesvos

I've been procrastinating writing this blogpost for a long time because it's felt like I'd have too many thoughts to effectively capture on paper and that it would be too rambling. But it's about time now, during my last evening in Mytilini, while my housemates cook food for my farewell dinner/party tonight before I leave tomorrow, that I get to it.

Mytilini and Moria.

I was so looking forward to this trip for such a long time. I was determined to keep a journal while I was here, to document the things I saw, the people I interacted with, to bear witness to the events. However, it was a perfect storm of circumstances that have forced me to have to leave for the States two weeks early. Before I arrived on the island, we knew of the Golden Dawn and other fascist groups holding rallies in the city of Mytilini and on the road to Moria, but then Turkey opened its borders and things got worse. The school at the One Happy Family community center, where my organization, Medical Volunteers International, operates a refugee medical clinic, was burnt to the ground by suspected fascist activities. This paused MVIs activities out of the clinic, and as fascist rallies started becoming more frequent, with some even attacking NGO workers and breaking car windows, there was an exodus of volunteers at the same time as Greece started tightening restrictions on NGO activities and migrant/refugee processing. They even suspended their cooperation under international asylum laws, rejecting new arrivals. A fascist group physically forced one refugee boat back into the water as they made land, resulting in the drowning of a child onboard. Then COVID-19 becomes a serious threat. There is one confirmed case on Lesvos, being treated at Mytilini hospital, but no known cases elsewhere. NGO activity is further hamstrung, and the local government makes no effort to facilitate aid to people trapped in the camp.

Fascists, fires, a pandemic, a volunteer exodus, restrictions on NGO activities. I've been frustrated at not being able to do anything about it all, despite being here. I know I could be more effective once I'm done with school, but even MSF and Kitrinos, two of the bigger medical NGOs still operating, have had to scale back their work. It feels like I came all this way to try to make a difference, and aside from about a week's worth of seeing patients, I wasn't able to do anymore. At times this has felt more like a poorly planned vacation than a trip to help people.

I also noticed that I wasn't as phased by much of Moria's situation: the open sewers, the poor hygiene, the burning of plastic for fuel, the rampant scabies, the five families living in one tent together, because it all felt very familiar. Like any slum I've visited in India. We are rightfully enraged about the EUs treatment of the refugees, and the conditions they've been forced to stay in. Perhaps justifiably more so because the EU has significantly better developed infrastructure and more money than does a country like India. But it made me consider why circumstances I get angry about here don't provoke as strong a response in my back home. Why do I more readily accept the status quo in India? I had this thought in a different vein a few years ago when I realized I treated service workers differently in India than in the States. Not that I treated them badly or dismissively here, but that in the States, be it due to a more common language or a less internalized sense of class structure, I found I'd treat service workers like people like me who are working a job. Potential friends, whom I treated as true equals in the sense of actually engaging and invested conversation. Whereas in India, I realized I never extended the same idea of possibly being friends to those who worked there. It was always cursory pleasantries, but never with the underlying idea that this person is a "real" person just like me, with a life outside work.

Perhaps it's just silly or privileged or stupid to have been thinking this way. Perhaps it's normal to think this way, as we can't be friends with everyone we meet and so we draw up those invisible divisions to make our social lives more feasible. Either way, the discrepancy between my thoughts/actions in the States vs in India was noteworthy to me, and one I have been conscious of not propagating further.

People.

Aside from that overarching frustration and general cloud over my thoughts however, the people I coordinated to room with are fantastic. As are the others I've met here. The house I'm staying in houses me, a German/French medical student, a German nurse, an Italian junior doctor, and a Spanish Antifa activist, and the landlord is a Syrian refugee who arrived on the island four years ago.

The translators we work with who become fast friends quite quickly include a Palestinian, a Burundian, and a man from Burkina Faso, the latter two of whom speak predominantly French, forcing me to improve my French significantly, having entire conversations for entire evenings in an entirely different language.

Then there are the coordinators of the different NGOs here. There's a German retired GP who made the decision to extend his trip in light of all the changes because he knows that now the need is highest and it feels wrong to leave. His family understands and supports his decision. There's an Irish lady who works with unaccompanied minors, i.e. kids below the age of 18 who have lost or been separated from their parents, aunts, uncles, or any family at all, but have somehow managed to cross an ocean to get away from the people literally destroying their homes. She teaches them, cares for them (sometimes as simply as giving them a place to shower), and more recently put one in touch with a lawyer to delay his deportation due to turning 18 and therefore being able to be tried as an adult. A 17yo kid, running away from the Taliban in Afghanistan, having had his family killed in front of him, arrives in Greece finally hoping he's safe, only to be deported to Turkey, where he knows and has no one. There's an American journalist who started an NGO to teach refugee kids to film and document their lives, giving them skills, and the ability to bear witness, but more so, just giving them something to do. He's stayed to document the EUs mismanagement of this refugee crisis. And there's a Russian teacher who runs a school for minors and children of refugees so they have somewhere to go and don't miss out on some form of education while their parents do what they need to to get by.

And lastly, I met the settled refugees in Greece, including my landlord from Syria and his friends. Got a haircut from one of his Iraqi friends, met some other friends of his in the Olive Grove, the overflow camp surrounding Moria.

The people I've met here are incredible. From all over the world, trying to do what they think is some good for the people they know are in need, in conditions where the vast majority of people would not stay in.

The remind me that everyone we interact with is just another human being, and force me to consider my own biases that I didn't realize I held until this trip. I didn't realize I unconsciously put up a guard around people who didn't speak the same language as me, or more accurately, people who didn't speak the same language, and, I'm ashamed to say, were doing poorly socioeconomically. Having traveled all my life and seeing the ends of the socioeconomic spectrum, I always thought I was very accepting and comfortable around any conditions. But be it a product of internalizing the presentation of certain types of people as dangerous or undesirable, or a core poor judgement on my part, I realized I was being defensive. It was clear to me when I was sitting across from this person on the bus, obviously living in Moria. I remember feeling an almost subconscious desire to avoid conversation. But then the Irish lady asked him if he was on his way to school, to which he excitedly replied yes, and showed her his notebook. I noticed it in myself again when we were surrounded by refugees as the Irish lady spoke to the boy about to be deported, and I found myself feeling uncomfortable, or even unsafe. But these were literally kids. 10 years younger than me, having seen and experienced so much more than I could imagine, gathering around to listen to how they could maybe help one of their newly acquired friends. I couldn't understand when I started feeling this way. I even jumped into a jog for a couple steps before very ashamedly catching myself when a homeless man in Atlanta tripped behind me.

What exactly am I scared of? Where is that insecurity coming from? And why, of all people, is it directed at those who are least fortunate? I hate that I've had to ask myself these questions. But I'm glad that I have. I think these questions are exactly those that many people in the world need to be asking themselves right now as well.

Life.

Living here has been a unique experience as well. Since my arrival, I knew my housemates were a special group of people. I've always only seen it on TV shows or in fiction, the idea of communal living, or a family of sorts formed out of the people you live with. Even in the States, my roommates and I very much kept to ourselves and led our own, parallel lives. But somehow, and perhaps because of the relative non-fancy-ness of our accommodation, that's exactly what happened with us. We would cook together every night and have dinner, go out for drinks with the other teams and organizations, spend afternoons together just talking. And the scaled-down lifestyle was something I was slowly getting used to as well. The relatively spartan bedroom with the creaky and drafty windows, the limited facility bathroom with the hot pipes running along the walls and the shower I can't stand up in, the "kitchen" with one working burner, knives more blunt than the spoons, and poorly draining sink, the laundry machine that no one knows how to work shorter than 5 hours, the cafe cat that started staying with us for food since the covid-19 lockdown, the tiny living room space that everyone gathers in both because it's the only option and because we're all new here and subconscously I'm sure want to spend time together with familiar faces. It's a simple life, with people you like around you, doing work you enjoy and find important. Life in Dayton with all the other things I normally do to try and fill my time seems so far away. I haven't watched a youtube video in two weeks, when I usually spend at least a couple hours watching back home. I've cooked more often these couple weeks with these blunt knives and poor kitchen than I did in Dayton over two months. I've learned new, inexpensive dishes. I've met and befriended more new people.

As my last post captured a snapshot of what I could see as my potential future, I think this trip captured a snapshot of what I think I wish my life could ultimately be like at least intermittently, if not always. When I do this kind of work that I already feel satisfied by, that feels important and fulfilling, I realize I don't feel that underlying insecurity or restlessness than makes me want to get involved in other things. I started Dayton Driven because I was too restless in medical school, for example. This feeling here reminds me of when I felt similarly in Geneva, just, finally, content.

I know there are other things important to me too though, in normal life, if not within this parentheses. I may not be able to be the Irish lady or American journalist, but perhaps I can be the German retired doctor, still being involved, still doing what I think is right, and still holding on to the other things important to me. Saara said something to me a couple months ago that I didn't realize would become something I'd think of quite often. She said, "If you ever feel like you are torn between two things and have to give up one, then you have the wrong two things." Maybe that's true. Maybe I can have and do every thing that I want. Maybe I can make it happen.

Well, it's at least pretty to thinks so.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi, Loving the blog my darling ❤️ Currently starting uni at the grand age of 21 with absolutely no clue what I’m doing in life. My mental health has really been tough and I feel as though everything is going wrong 😩 I just can’t fathom how people find out who they are or what they enjoy - life just seems to be one big grumpy ball determined to knock you over 😓 any grand life advice you Wish you’d been given or things you think everyone should be aware of? ❤️❤️❤️

Hi Nonny! *HUGS* 

First off, I’m so sorry I put this off so long... I’ve had a headache for a few days and it’s hard for me to give good responses when I do.

That said, I’m not a professional, so please use your own judgement after some of your own research

First of all, don’t feel bad about starting college “late”... there’s NO SUCH THING as too old to learn. I also started at 21, and there were people in my classes on their “second career” (in Ontario, the gov’t used to offer grants for people who were laid off and wanted to pursue higher learning in a second career; not sure if they still do that). I was also in the same boat you were: I had no idea where my life was going to lead, I just knew that if I wanted to work in a professional field, I needed college, and I literally chose my career path by browsing the course offerings at the college I wanted to go to.

In hindsight, MAKING THE EFFORT TO GO TO SCHOOL was a huge first step in a new direction I was terrified to make, and so I totally understand WHY you’re scared, and coupled with mental health issues I can’t begin to imagine the levels of stress you’re feeling. So, I think when you first start (or just before you begin) look into your college’s counselling services; it’s part of your tuition and they’re there to help you get through your schooling. Every college and uni have their own websites, and if you’re willing to dig deep enough (actually, just go to their “site map”, it’s supposed to link every single page their website has), you can find faculty emails and information about counselling services offered and / or any restrictions they have. I highly recommend you start there, try to get an appointment early since many people will be doing it as well. Write out some concerns you have, and bring them with you when you go to see your counsellor. Also, make sure you find out if it’s a life counsellor vs a career counsellor... actually, I just had a thought, all unis and colleges (in Canada at least) have an on-site health centre which actually may be the best place to start for your mental health resource quest. THEY may be able to direct you in the right direction for that aspect. BUT since you’re not sure what you want to do with your career, I do still suggest seeing a counsellor who can help you understand what you can do with your chosen degree / diploma. Doing that may help ease your stress about that. 

Next, let’s tackle the “find out what they enjoy” aspect of your ask: I TOTALLY feel you on the grumpiness, I really do. Even today, nearly 2 decades after my own college life, I’m constantly grumpy and stressed. And I’m not going to tell you to “just think positive!” because that’s ridiculous, and it’s more complicated than just that, and poo-poo to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. For me, I think it was just trying to do things I never would have, and being brave and talking to people in my classes. My best friends inevitably are the ones I made in college, because we have a lot in common and we did a lot of new things together. I suggest maybe reaching out and doing the same! Colleges and unis ALWAYS have some sort of groups going on, like LGBT, Anime, movies, hiking, etc. TRY THEM ALL. Have fun! Be daring! Most of those types of groups plan outings and activities either for free or at low-cost, and who knows, you may find out you enjoy something you never thought you would! If you spend all your free time just studying or doing school work, you’re gonna burn out before the first semester is over, trust me on this one. 

First year is PURPOSELY the hardest year, just as a word of warning, because they need to weed out those who aren’t serious about doing the program – they don’t want to waste your time and money just as much as you don’t, believe it or not. I’m not going to sugar coat that for you at all... I almost failed first year, but finding a good balance between school and personal activities as well as discussing concerns I had with my professors, I was able to pick my grades up and make it through to second year... and it actually got a LOT easier in second and third year, because the professors were marking us on quality as opposed to technique. Sure, I pulled my share of all nighters, but mostly because I am the WORLD’S WORST PROCRASTINATOR. 

So my tip: if you’re a procrastinator, get that shit out of your system, because spending all night painting colour-matching squares on illustration board is legit the un-funnest way to spend a Sunday night when I had all week to do it. Some people work better under pressure (I actually do, strangely enough) but if you don’t have the mental ability to handle the stress, I really, REALLY recommend you DON’T PROCRASTINATE. Keep a day planner to help you sort your work vs personal time, and you should be just fine. 

Hmm, what else? 

Don’t forgo food, for the love of god. Groceries are cheaper than eating out, so learn to cook simple things: Pasta is literally boiled water and noodles, and canned sauce. That’s literally under 10$ for a few days’ worth of food. It’s delicious and keeps you full and alert to get on with your days. 

As I said above, schools have a health centre with FULL medical services, at least in Canada. Take full advantage of their services since you’re paying for it. Get check ups, talk to nurses about your mental health, and get recommendations to local therapists if you feel you need more than what the on-campus ones can offer; recommendations with doctor’s notes gets you reduced rates for therapy, if I recall correctly (please correct me if I’m wrong, lovelies).

Most schools also have gym memberships paid-for in your tuition; ours was a branch of the YMCA good at ANY YMCA in Canada, and we could use the on-campus gym any time of the day or night. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS. Physical activity helps promote the natural endorphins in your body which help you feel better mentally. It doesn’t have to be anything strenuous: when I first started, I just did one hour on the recliner bike every day. It made me feel better and encouraged me to try other things in the gym, like the treadmill and weights. I found out I actually like working out a few times a week. I do it for ME, not for anyone else. Don’t do it “to be thin” or whatever (that’s a WHOLE other heap of garbage I’m not getting into here). Do it because it makes your mind happy. The gym is an EXCELLENT place to sort out your thoughts and plan your week ahead. The benefit to the recliner bike is that you can have a book or something and jot notes down while getting the exercise in.

DON’T PROCRASTINATE, like I said above. 

Get a part-time job if you find yourself needing something to do with some time you have. Some schools have a student-job centre where you can work on-campus for the print centre or student union, or you can just get a 8 to 16 hours-a-week job like at a grocery store (which is what I did) which wasn’t stressful at all because it was cleaning and food prep; it will look good on your resume that you can multitask like that, having a job and school at the same time, and job skills are transferrable to school as well :) Most part-time jobs will accommodate your school schedule.

HAVE FUN. Seriously, college were the best years of my life, not because I was out drinking every weekend (I actually WASN’T), but because I gained a lot of valuable life experiences from my time away, and I made amazing friends and a lot of my favourite memories were the activities we did together. We did a lot of hiking trips together, and I loved those.

Not much else I can say, Nonny, really, other than it’s perfectly normal to be scared and worried about your future. That’s why taking some time out to sit down and make yourself a schedule will help you handle it. I believe in you and I really REALLY think you will have a great time in college. So exciting, moving onto the next chapter of your life!

Good luck, Nonny, and I love you!

[havekiddoswilltravel]

Cuba Travel Tips

Havana, Cuba trip report and pro tips for a safe, personalized family travel adventure to Cuba.

Tips for family travel to Cuba - A guide to exploring Cuba with kids, friends, family or multigenerational groups.

Did you know that you can in fact still travel to Cuba independently?

Updated: July 2019 with new Cuban travel rules.

We cruised prior to the US restrictions. You can however, still enjoy these Cuban tours by traveling by air to Cuba. Keep reading for more details.

Our family of six enjoyed a 5 night Key West and Cuba overnight cruise aboard Royal Caribbean’s Majesty of the Seas in December 2018 prior to the cruise ship restrictions. We traveled with four kids ages 13, 10, 7 and 5 and thus felt that a cruise was a comfortable way for us to explore Havana. We’re hooked and already planning a return land trip in order to enjoy more of the island. The Cuban people were gracious, funny and talented. Our guide Dayami is fluent in both English and Spanish and a breath of information about the history, culture, art, music, architecture and food of the island. 

2018 Cuban travel update: The U.S. announced new travel rules for Cuba. Americans can no longer travel to the island under the People to People category as an individual and you're unable to patronized any military - owned business. 

Legal travel to Cuba is still possible under the Support For The Cuban People category and my recommended tours can assist you in planning a safe, educational and cost effective trip to the island. 

Have Kiddos Will Travel Cuba Tours offer: A one of a kind safe, private tour option for those wanting to visit Cuba and experience it like a local.

What we did in Havana:

Dayami picked us up at 9:00 am at the Saint Francis of Assisi Square

(the plaza right across from the cruise ship terminal in Old Havana).

We started with a guided walking tour in Old Havana (about 2 hours) which included:

-       All four main squares

-       Some of Hemingway’s favorite places in the city

-       Handcrafted perfume shop - the perfume is inexpensive and comes in beautiful hand made pottery. 

-       Free entrance museums - our kids loved these museums. We had to drag our 10 year old son out of the art museum. 

-       Cigar/coffee/rum shopping - Dayami was an angel and sat with our kids at a nearby table while my husband and I enjoyed this amazing tasting. I can’t recommend it enough. There was a live band playing during our tasting. In fact, music and dancing was everywhere in Havana. Buy Cuban coffee (I regret not buying more as gifts). Dayami is incredibly knowledgeable about Cuban rum and cigars. We bought two boxes (4 bottles total) of Havana Club 3 year white and 7 year dark rum for approximately 20 CUC. We also brought back 25 (fiftieth anniversary) Cuban Cohiba cigars. We bought handmade individual cigar boxes for the ones that we gave as gifts. 

We did a coffee-rum-cigar tasting/sampling. This service (about 1 hour) is provided by a Habanos sommelier Cuban cigar expert). I highly recommend this tour option. We learned so much and it added to our overall experience in Havana.

After the walking tour, Dayami had a air conditioned car with ready to drive us to the main places of interest in the city. I loved that she was flexible and worked with our children. We took extra breaks for water, snacks and to use clean bathrooms. She knew all of the best places to use the facilities and though I was prepared with my own toilet paper, we ended up never needing it. 

Our family’s personalized itinerary:

-       Ride along the Malecon (sea wall drive)

-       Colon Cemetery (World Heritage Site)

-       Callejón de Hamel (rumba performances/Afro-Cuban religion/art scene)

-       Central Park

-       Capitol building

-       National Hotel

-       San Jose Handicraft market

-       Fusterlandia community/art project

-       Revolution Square

-       Rainforest of Havana (National Park)

-       Bay fortresses and the Christ of Havana (viewpoint)

Dayami made a reservation for us a privately owned restaurant and we enjoyed it. We were lol a bit when we arrived because we literally walked behind a normal looking home in Havana and entered a massive outdoor restaurant which was packed with people and even had a live band. Our total lunch cost was 74 CUC which included drinks, 3 orders of chicken and all you can eat white rice and beans. 

The whole tour was from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, take into consideration that lunch may took over an 1 hour.

What to buy in Cuba:

- While cigars and rum are the main things that people buy when in Cuba, we also bought an amazing art piece (beware that customs will attempt to charge you art fee if you travel back with it in an art tube), engraved leather baseballs, Cuban key chains that I then turned into Cuban Christmas ornaments and a small piece of wood art. We ran out of time to stop by Clandestina, but they do have an online shop that you will not want to miss.

Pro - tips: - Everyone (including children) will need a passport book (not a passport card) that is valid for at least 6 months after your trip. Two pages are required for entry - exit stamps. 

- Each traveler will need a Cuban Visa if you're a US citizen (please research Visa laws for other countries) which cost $75.00 per person. Take your time completing this simple form, as mistakes are not accepted and you will have to buy another one.

-   U.S. credit and debit cards generally do not work in Cuba. Bring cash to cover your stay. The Cuban government requires that travelers declare cash amounts over 5,000 USD. Travelers should note that the Government of Cuba charges a 10 percent fee for all U.S. dollar cash conversions; this does not apply to electronic transactions or cash conversions in other currencies. - US dollar and credit cards are not accepted in Cuba. Do your research regarding how much money you will need and plan accordingly.  I recommend changing money into Cuban Convertible Pesos (CUC) before meeting your guide (for lunch, souvenirs, rum, the sampling, etc.). It is recommended that you change US currency to Euros prior to your trip (AAA will do this without an additional conversion fee for members) and then change euros to CUCs upon arrival. At the time of our visit   The official exchange rate (at the time of our trip in 2018) is 0.87 for every 1 USD (due to the 13 percent US dollar fee). The exchange rate for the euro at the time our trip was 1.15.

-  The export of Cuban convertible pesos (CUC) is strictly prohibited, regardless of the amount. When departing Cuba, U.S. travelers are advised to exchange Cuban convertible pesos (CUC) back to US Dollars well before reaching airport security checkpoints to avoid potential confiscation of the CUC. For other currencies, travelers may export up to the equivalent of 5,000 USD. Anyone wishing to export more than this amount must demonstrate evidence that the currency was acquired legitimately from a Cuban bank. - Dayami was very helpful in regards to helping us figure out how much cash we would need for all of our tours, meals, and shopping.

Getting there:

- You can fly to Havana depending on your group size and family needs. We’ve had family members fly and we did an overnight Havana cruise with Royal Caribbean as we were traveling with small children and wanted access to the comforts of the cruise line. Cruising if no longer an option as of June 2019.

Where to stay:

- If you’re flying, I highly recommend Casa Habana for a one of a kind, local Cuban experience. 

What to pack:

- Bring sunblock, hats, and sun glasses. I packed a back pack with safe drinking water, snacks and treats for our kids.- Wear comfortable walking shoes. Havana streets are beautiful, but the cobblestone is hard on your feet. 

What NOT to do:

- Leave your jewelry and fancy items at home. 

- Don't take pictures of Cuban police or military.

- Keep your strong tourist opinions about Fidel, the Castro family, the Revolution or communism to yourself. Avoid discussing politics (history discussions are okay) and you're good.

- There are two currencies in Cuba. The first is the Cuban Convertible Peso CUC  (which tourists use) and is worth 26 Cuban Pesos CUP. Count your change and keep your street smarts about you.

- Don't expect to have access to the many comforts of home. There is almost no access to many of the consumer goods that are common for us in the United States. So, make sure to bring that which you can't live without. If you wan't toothpaste, a toothbrush, toilet paper, hand disinfectant, mints or snacks, make sure to bring them with you. 

- Print out all of your relevant travel documents prior to your trip. I know, we’re digital people but access to technology in Cuba is pretty much nada. If you think you’ll need it, print it at home. 

- We’re big foodies and thus find it crucial to discuss Cuban food in Havana versus Cuban food in the United States and other parts of the world. Due to trade restrictions and general lack of access to ingredients that we take for granted, (our guide Dayami did a great job explaining the Cuban rations to our kids) we found the food to be good enough, but not something to write home about. The saving grace was that our kids love white rice and beans and literally were “starving” from all of the walking. They ate their food and loved it, with no complaints. Pro tip: if you’re traveling to Cuba, pack some salt and hot sauce. You’ll thank me. 

- Book your Cuba tours before you travel. The internet is hard to come by in Cuba and thus, don’t expect to be able to research or use the internet to communicate with tour guides while on the island. We arrived via a cruise ship, and I had all of my confirmation information from Dayami printed and I had confirmed pick up times and location with her while we were in Key West and still had internet service. 

By booking a trusted private tour, you will save hundreds of US dollars on your excursion time while on the island. Our tours are priced per car, not per person for a group of four and can be coordinated to accommodate larger family - group sizes.

- Lastly, let’s talk about safety. We’re a family of avid travelers. Our kids have had passports since they were newborns and we travel extensively throughout the United States and abroad. This cruise to Cuba was our third cruise in 2018 alone and all six of us are Diamond Crown and Anchor with Royal Caribbean International. Even with all of the stamps in our passports, I was perplexed by how safe we felt in Havana. Despite what our history classes and news tell us about communism and Cuba, we felt safer in Cuba than any other place that we’ve traveled to. Use common sense and respect the local culture and you’ll have a blast. 

Havana, Cuba - YouTube

https://havekiddoswilltravel.net/cuba-tours

Check out the link above for a full list of tour options and contact Dayami Interian dayainte@gmail.com to discuss further planning. Your won’t be disappointed!

About Ruth: I’m a wife and mami of 4 active and globe-trotting kiddos. I’ve always loved a good adventure and truly believe that it’s possible to travel with kids. Join me, as I share our adventures and inspire you to get out of the house with your kiddos. Whether you’re planning a family vacation, a road trip or a trip of a lifetime to an exotic destination, I’ll share insights, trip reports and information that will inspire you. Check back often to stay up to date on things to do with kids at your next travel destination.

family travel - adventure - explore - Travel with Kids

[fadingzombievoid]

How To Make Your Lungs Stronger?

How To Make Your Lungs Stronger?

 The lungs are an essential organ of the body, enabling us to breathe (a vital organ you might say!). It's also considered among the most abused because of the damage being done to it out of our environment and smoking. Having respiratory difficulties is a burden as it limits your breathing, and complicated problems could cause death. It is necessary to take care of your lungs because after it's totally damaged, you may never revive it.

 Importance of how to make your lungs strong

 Making your lungs may facilitate difficult breathing and help you prevent deadly diseases like chronic bronchitis, lung cancer, stroke, and asthma. Filing your lungs with pollutants and irritants from smoking makes you prone to infection from these foreign substances. It might also restrict the function of your lungs.

 The first fighting mechanism of our body is to expel these harmful substances through a cough. Obviously, no one wishes to cough. It is quite annoying and bothersome to people around. When lung diseases aren't handled well, it can cause serious complications in the future.

 Smoking is the number one thing that damages the lungs very badly. There are hundreds of toxins found in a single cigarette that can harm your lungs. Among the damaging substances that destroy the lungs is tar. It is a black mixture of smoke, ash, and toxins that easily sticks to the surface of your lungs.

 It destroys the cilia, which maintain the cleanliness of your own airway. Given additional time smoking, a build-up of tar and other dangerous toxins would ultimately damage the lungs causing chronic, acute infections, and lung cancer.

 Weak Lungs and How To Make Strong

 In case you have been a chronic smoker or have functioned in polluted areas, it's not late to wash your lungs. You still have enough time to rescue the rest of your lungs' function to live a better and healthier life.

 The way to cleanse your lungs isn't difficult since it is. These are relatively simple ways that not only make your lungs strong but make your body healthier. The human body depends on the lungs for oxygen; therefore, any lung diseases can affect your overall body's health. Cleanse your lungs using these measures and stay a happy and healthier life.

 1. Quit smoking

If you are a smoker, then it's the right time to finally STOP! People who quit smoking has immediate and long term effects that were extremely beneficial for the lungs and overall health.

There's no way around it - "If you smoke, it is time to stop. It is the most important step that you can take in order to improve your lungs and overall health".

 2. Belly breathing

 It is one of the easiest exercises that can help your weak lungs get stronger. It strengthens your muscles, which retains the most important muscles for breathing. Doing this exercise daily can help enhance your diaphragm capacity, enabling air to pass through your lungs more efficiently (deep-breathing is fantastic for combating stress and anxiety, too!).

 3. Prevent air pollution

 This may sound easier said than done for people dwelling in busy cities and towns, but all is not lost. It is vital that we all take steps to protect our lungs by reducing our exposure to polluted air. You can do so by avoiding busy roads while walking and choosing for cleaner, eco-friendly ways to travel.

 4. Include Vitamin D supplements in your diet

 Vitamin D can also help to make the lungs healthy. It can enhance the human body's immune system in order to fight disease and help repair damaged tissues.

 There are many studies, and researches have suggested that Vitamin D intake on a regular basis can help reduce the risk of lung diseases and play a role in supporting lung health. But here is the problem, most of our vitamin D comes from the sun.

  That's why it's important to take a good quality vitamin D supplement to ensure our bodies really are reaping all the advantages those living in much more enviable ponds get.

 5. Drink Loads of water

 Water acts as a great detoxifier. Drinking enough water can also loosen up lung secretion. You will easily cough it out. Staying hydrated helps pretty much every part of your body, such as your lungs. This can help clear the mucus in your nose and retains blood-flow smooth. It reduces the probability of respiratory infections. Attempt to drink around 2 liters of water every day, which is approximately eight glasses.

 6. Eat greens and healthy

 Eat a lot of green vegetables like broccoli, cabbage, kale, ladyfinger, and cauliflower, and so on. Green veggies are particularly good at boosting lung health.

 7. Improve your posture

 Every breath that you take is a workout for your diaphragm and lungs, so give them as much aid as possible by fixing your frame. When you keep a fantastic posture, oxygen passes through your lungs efficiently and requires significantly less energy.

 8. Laugh

It's certainly the most appealing approach to enhance lung health - research has demonstrated that laughter may well be the best medication, since the activity exercises your abdominal muscles and forces air through your lungs, to give them a brief and sharp workout. Who said claiming excellent lung health was a job? Also, stay away from food, which has plenty of preservatives. Eating up healthy foods can also be good for the lungs.

 9. Exercise every day

 Exercise can help your lungs. Start from low-intensity exercises in case you have never been physically active for a long time and gradually increase your activity. Exercise helps the lungs to expand, allowing it to accommodate more oxygen.

[zzzoloft]

Body Acceptance(?)

TW: Diet talk; Clothing Size

*Also a disclaimer to acknowledge my privilege as a small-fat person, and my ability to shop at the clothes offered at Target.*

I’ve been in dire need of some new clothes, but I’ve been in such a strange phase with my body.

About a year or so ago, my therapist started to slowly mention things to me like Intuitive Eating (IE) and Health at Every Size (HAES). Now I wonder how hard she had to hold back her eye-rolling while I ventured through months of off-and-on keto, excessive exercise plans, and then intermittent fasting. Not to mention all of the fatphobic language I used in reference to myself, and how much I based my life around what size of pants I could button over my belly in the sad and dusty fitting room of H&M.

I bought the Intuitive Eating book. I started it and never finished it, putting it aside for another time. Even so, I’ve tried to incorporate the principles in my own way - eat what I like, when I want, including times when I may not be physically hungry, since eating is a common method to self-soothe. Stop labeling foods as good and bad, let my body choose, and stop making food a moral issue. 

That’s been relatively easy for me, considering I have yoyo’d back and forth between major restricting paired with exhausting workouts, then back to the Fuck-It Diet and cocooning in blankets for months at a time. When I wasn’t dieting, I loved food and trying new foods. One of my favorite things is the novelty of walking into a new bakery or cafe and trying a drink or pastry I’ve never heard of before. I’ve also had a pretty big issue with binge-eating and even eating out of guilt or responsibility to the person who made the food - which resulted in eating things I didn’t even like. The same goes for dieting. I ate so many foods that made me feel bad or sick, for weeks and months on end, because it was supposed to be “good” for me. It’s to the point where I can be grocery shopping and realize I’m buying the “healthy” version of something - a version I don’t even ENJOY, or I’m buying a food or a quantity of a certain food, just because I find it filling and I want to feel stuffed, which I associated with feeling “better” for so long. (I am not saying I never binge-eat. Part of Intuitive Eating is accepting that binge-eating is a very valid coping mechanism when we are feeling low or exhausted.) 

In addition to the Intuitive Eating, I’ve been listening to/reading Fat Activism content, pinning Plus Size models on my Pinterest as well as following them on Instagram, because I’ve been idolizing fae-like thin girls who have never been and may never be, in a body like mine - and that goes both ways. I came out of the womb two years after my sister, with already thicker thighs. Honestly, this lead to a lot of jealousy in my younger years, and a lot of self hatred.  “Clearly we have the same GENES, why am I the ‘bad’ one? It must be all my fault.” Unfortunately the message of guilt, shame and inferiority were ingrained with comments from family, friends, society at large. Granted my mother was pre-diabetic when she was carrying me, and I grew up loving all foods while my sister was a picky eater in her young years. As adults, my sister and I talked about how it seems like I grow muscle a lot faster, while she dedicated a lot of time (and joy) in a weight-lifting regimen. Maybe these things are true, maybe it’s all conditional. But despite life’s changes, we’ve stayed in our relative body shapes and sizes. The inferiority due to my size was so internalized that deep down I still wonder when I’m going to start secretly restricting again and/or over-exercising, so that I can pretend to accept myself while still assimilating.  If other people commit their lives to counting their (and everyone else’s) calories, well, then I owe that to the world or I don’t deserve happiness, respect, sexual satisfaction, inclusion, and so many things denied to fat women and fat people in general. I have to shrink to fit through the metaphorical threshold into a life where I get the privileges of small-bodied women, a world where I know I’m better treated, because I shrank myself before and every interaction changed. If I could just do it a little more this time, I could be “one of those girls” - the cool girls, the pretty girls, the seemingly effortlessly likable girls. The girls that make men feel strong and masculine. The girls I always fear should be replacing me at any moment.

Because of the yoyo-ing, and because I’m still in the Fuck-It part of Intuitive Eating (eating ALL THE THINGS that I told myself were off limits or bad) I’m not even sure what my natural size is. I’ve been putting off clothes shopping, but my stomach issues cause me pain every day, and after lunch, I become so bloated that my pants and leggings, however stretchy, become so tight and begin digging into my stomach. I end up literally counting the minutes until work is over so I can go home and take off my fucking pants. As a big girl, I’ve learned that I prefer wearing tight clothes over hiding my shape. I thought it to be more “flattering” in the common meaning - making me look smaller than drape-y tops and dresses typically marketed to fat women so they could better shield themselves from ridicule by literally hiding themselves - another thing I’ve spent far too much time doing. It’s been a several-month-long internal dilemma - can I keep wearing “cute” clothes, or do I HAVE to get things that don’t suck in my thighs and stomach fat so that I can feel physically comfortable? 

Honestly, I’m not fully convinced of the latter part yet. I couldn’t convince myself that saving myself from physical pain might be more important than hiding my stomach or slimming myself, because honestly, there are still some parts of me that I literally fear showing. It’s like having even more “private parts” to be in a culture that is so fatphobic. I can keep hitting like and drooling at all of the fat babes on my instagram feed, but god forbid I myself step out of the house with VBO (visible belly outline), or not smoothing out my cellulite and lower belly with some good ol’ tights!! It even feels vulnerable to admit those things, not that I think I’m fooling anyone, but just the fact that I try so hard to the point my internal organs are probably out of place from all of the compressing I put them through. I’m still assimilating like this. 

Yesterday I went to Target, preparing myself that if a size doesn’t fit or look good, I don’t have to say “fuck that” - I can grab the next size up. As a teen I was most likely having panic attacks every time I had to shop in the plus-size section of a store. I squeezed and fell out of my straight-sized clothes because it saved me the shame of needing accommodation, the shame of otherness associated with shopping in different stores or sections than my classmates and my sister. I don’t recall how my mother felt, as a larger woman who from what I remembered said only mean things about her own body and was constantly trying new diets, but I felt she was ashamed in having to be there with me as well. Maybe this was just how I felt, since her clothes always fit her body, which shows she must have been shopping for her size, which wasn’t straight. Maybe culturally it seemed okay for a mom in her 40s to shop at Lane Bryant and the like, but unacceptable - a shameful failure on her and my part - to JUST make me, a kid, “normal”.

When shopping yesterday, I filled my cart with clothes all around the 12-16 range, and prepared myself to know that although that was my range before, it may be different now, it may be larger. I’ve stopped weighing myself so it really could be anywhere. Size 16 is when I used to tell myself ‘no’ and leave the store upset. I couldn’t accept my size, I couldn’t accept a stupid fucking number because culturally it determined my worth as a woman. Among all of the other stumbling blocks in my life, there was this one giant failure I always felt looming over my head that seemed to matter most in social interactions, job interviews, at school - my body size - and all of the connotations made from it.

On top of finding a ton of cute clothes to try, the dressing room attendant helped me carry them all into the fitting room, and informed me there was no item limit - BLESSED, amirite?!  (I even met a nice tatted up mom with her small baby who complimented the earrings I had picked out when I apologized for thinking she was the attendant and talking to her as-so, out of the corner of my eye. She was straight-sized and told me she had a hard day of clothes-trying-on, because she didn’t know what she liked anymore. I told her I am about to turn 30 and I completely understand. Do I still like my ripped tights, booty shorts, and crop tops? Do I want to look like a snazzy bitch in a blazer and heels now?! It’s always validating to me when a thin women talks about similar issues. It’s not just me hating trying on clothes. That was a missed connection, so if you know her - get me in touch!) I despise trying on clothes, I get all sweaty and my throat starts to hurt and I seem to get all of my phonecalls and texts while I’m trying to get myself through the daunting task of zippers, buttons, turning shit right-side out, trying different combinations of clothes, and hanging them all back up in the right direction for the store employees since I’m not a heathen.

I found far too many choices for my budget, I had a huge “YES” pile, an even bigger “Maybe/Different size?!” pile, and just a few items in my “Ew/Yuck/Why is this a fabric?!” pile. The biggest change of all for me was that I put comfort first. I don’t care if my ass looked nice, if my romper made me look a few months pregnant, if a dress was cinched right at the waist to highlight my thinnest area on my body. I twirled in the dresses and strutted around in the pants, imagining and acting out scenarios from sunlight and day-drinking to sitting at my desk at the end of the day, and made sure each choice held up. And I managed to find too many items to afford, but enough to get me moving forward toward a life of accepting my body in the range it tends to buoy around, rather than the body I have when I’m treating myself like a prisoner. 

This was one huge step in the right direction, and I can’t wait to appear in clothes that fit me, rather than clothes that mold me.

[reediculouslyfit]

Lisa’s Top 5 Nutrition Myths!

Myth 1: “All Carbohydrates are bad for you!”

False. ALL CARBS ARE NOT CREATED EQUAL

Carbs get a bad rap because we all think of the “bad” ones—simple carbs like white bread, donuts, bagels, sugary cereal—which aren't good for our bodies. But carbs come in two forms: simple and complex. 

Simple carbohydrates are made up of short chains of carbon molecules that require little breakdown and go directly into the bloodstream and cause a blood sugar spike.

causes inflammation in the body 

zaps energy

bad for your skin

“Good” carbohydrates like those found in whole grain breads, grains like quinoa and yes, fruits, veggies, and dairy, are all part of a healthy nutrition plan. In fact, your body needs carbohydrates to complete its basic functions.  Complex carbohydrates have longer chains of carbon molecules, so it takes longer for your body to break them down. Which means the sugar isn't “dumped” into our bloodstream. We experience a more steady-state infusion of sugar into our bloodstream that supplies longer lasting energy!

These healthy carbs offer more nutritional value and take longer to digest, so you’ll feel full for longer

We need a certain amount of it to fuel all of our metabolic processes so we have the energy to breathe, digest, exercise, work, think. Literally, everything. Fat and protein have their jobs too, but when it comes to getting that basic energy, carbs are key.

Remember, carbohydrates fuel the body! When you have the right kind of carbohydrates, the better your muscles and mind run!

Myth #2 “You should only eat three meals a day.”

False.  You should be eating five to six mini-meals every 3 hours & drinking water all day long to keep your metabolism and energy up. When you wait too long between meals the greater chance you will overeat at the next meal.

Here are some examples of Lisa’s mini meals... 3 egg white omelet filled with spinach and tomatoes with 1/2 cup berries and a slice of toast!......3 oz.chicken with half an apple, 1 oz cheese...2 cups spinach with 1/4 cup fruit, 1 oz nuts, 3 oz protein....1 cup brussel sprouts and 3 oz protein....even one slice of pizza with a side salad with 3oz chicken! It’s all about balancing the amount of protein in each meal and measuring food so you not over eat eat and skip the next meal! :)

And Drink up with Water! 

Weight loss tip: Drink 8 oz of water before each meal and you will be burning calories more efficiently!  Lisa’s favorite is Core Hydration Water because it tastes great, has electrolytes with a perfectly balanced pH, which is important for mineral absorption of your healthy mini meals! 

Myth #3: “You can’t eat healthy when you dine out.”

False.  You can still keep fit and lose weight if you dine out! 

Eating Out Dining Tips:

Consider healthy low-fat meal options before going to the restaurant by reviewing the restaurant menu’s online!

Be specific when ordering.  Don’t ask what can be done, Simply order what you want.

To avoid overeating breads and margarine, request that they not be served, or that the salad be served immediately.

Ask for appetizers or side dishes as entrees. 

Always order dressings, sauces, and toppings on the side.

Or select an entrée and split it with you dining mate!

Choose baked, broiled, grilled, steamed foods over fried.

Be assertive. Many restaurants will be happy to accommodate you so

Lisa’s basic 3 D’s to Dining Out: 

Dine Out, 

Divide,  

& Doggie bag!  

Small things make big differences in weight loss and being healthy!

Myth #4: “I’m on a “diet”, so I can’t have ANY dessert or junk food.”

False.  Diet means you are restricting and holds negative energy to weight loss. It is DIE…with a T.  It is not All or Nothing.  There are no quick fixes. 

All fad diets undermine people's health and results in consequences when you restrict yourself negatively....

your metabolism immediately starts to slow down leading to mental and physical weakness

zaps your energy,

 leads to disappointment when people regain their weight soon after they lose it,

Most also lack essential vitamins and minerals as many take out entire food groups let alone many foods,

Many do not contain enough calories to sustain the energy of a normal human being,

Do not help people to change their eating habits which is the only way to lose weight properly and keep it off

It is time to Change your Attitude, turn it into a positive by saying, “I am eating healthy” 

Healthy Eating Strategies: • Learn Portion Control by measuring food at home,*Use Lisa’s favorite food scale by Eat Smart! Click here to purchase one on amazon for only $9.99!  • Bring your lunch to work, with your mini meals and when you dine out, • Share your dessert as it’s important to incorporate treats into your plan so you don’t feel deprived.

It’s about the small healthy changes you can do day in and day out for positive change.

Myth #5: “I don’t need to take vitamins or supplements.”

False.

90% of Americans get less than the RDA from food sources alone. Check with your doctor or a registered dietitian about which, if any, vitamin or mineral supplements might be right for you. Lisa’s favorite is MNS 3 by Advocare.

The Dietary Guidelines for Americans makes these recommendations for certain groups of people:

People over age 50 should consume vitamin B12 in its crystalline form, that is, from fortified foods (like some fortified breakfast cereals) or as a supplement.(Note that older adults often have a reduced ability to absorb vitamin B12 from foods. However, crystalline vitamin B12, the type of vitamin B12 used in supplements and in fortified foods, is much more easily absorbed.)

Women of childbearing age who may become pregnant and adolescent females should eat foods that are a source of heme-iron (such as meats) and/or they should eat iron-rich plant foods (like cooked dry beans or spinach) or iron-fortified foods (like fortified cereals) along with a source of vitamin C.

Women of childbearing age who may become pregnant and those who are pregnant should consume adequate synthetic folic acid daily (from fortified foods or supplements) in addition to food forms of folate from a varied diet.

Older adults, people with dark skin, and people who get insufficient exposure to sunlight should consume extra vitamin D from vitamin D-fortified foods and/or supplements.

Lisa debunked her Nutrition Myths on News Talk, on News Channel 8 ABC DC. If you missed it, Watch in now!

For more information or for Nutrition guidance, Contact Lisa today!

Cheers to health & happiness LRF Fitness Family!!!

[avoskorm]

- Our landlord told us he’s selling the house, so we and our neighbour will have to move by... some unspecified date.  He hasn’t told us when we should pack up and leave, and knowing him he could tell us we have to get out in an hour.  This is the cheapest place we can get, and even then the bills are pretty much made up.  We’ve seen the really poorly done photocopies.

- Mother has been sick of this country pretty much since we moved here, and is getting increasingly loud about her wanting to go back home.

- We moved here originally to get far away from our abusive neighbours back in Wales (which seems like setting a fire hose to a match stick, but whatever)... and also because dad’s up to his eyeballs in debt for things we no longer even have. Running away from debt is the absolute worst thing you can do, I know, but he was offered this opportunity through work and jumped at the chance, thinking mother agreed.  Which she did... because she didn’t think it’d actually happen.  He doesn’t know that last part.  Communication between my parents is ridiculously awful.

- Because of the debt, and mother’s constant whining, dad is actually considering suicide, because he sees no other option; it’ll mean mother can get his pension, and go back home debt free, because it’s all in his name.  In reality I don’t think that’s likely, but that’s neither here nor there.

- Dad thinks he has cancer, but hasn’t told anyone.  The only reason I know is because he was venting and I don’t think he meant to tell me.  I have no idea whether or not I should tell anyone.  He’s getting treatment for sinusitis (he has always had chronic sinus problems), but they’re putting him in for a CAT scan.  He said he’s going to refuse it, because cancer, and he doesn’t want to get treatment because he wants to die.

- Mother has also been considering suicide.  In fact, the only reason she hasn’t OD’d yet is because dad takes painkillers like sweets.  Neither of these things are particularly healthy.

- Frank is the only reason I have my job.  I worked for this factory before, but when I got “promoted” to a completely different job, in a different part of the factory, with no actual support or any idea what to do, I reacted... badly.  One breakdown later, I left, without so much as a goodbye on their part.

- I had a second job here, but I wasn’t actually told what the job was until I started: foreclosure.  The fact they didn’t tell me until afterwards probably should’ve set off alarm bells, but I was desperate after being unemployed for like six months.  That went badly after several disagreements with my boss, and the fact the money paid (cash in hand, and not the amount in the listing, even disregarding the fact I wasn’t ever given my food vouchers like I was supposed to) was just enough to cover the taxis there and back to collect it.  So it was literally a complete waste of time.

- No one at the factory I work at wanted me back, because, after the first breakdown, they have come to the conclusion I’m unstable.  So Frank is literally the reason I have the job, but I have so many restrictions on what I’m allowed to do, I’m not actually doing much of anything, and Frank and our other colleague has to pick up the slack.  I get my instructions through Frank, who gets them from our supervisor.  He can speak to me directly, but simply refuses to.

- Frank is getting increasingly frustrated with the bullshit she has to put up with there, and the fact a new guy was hired at the beginning of the week, who is literally earning more than Frank and I combined, was the last straw for her.  One more mishap, and she’s promised that she’s leaving.  If and when she does, they won’t have any more reason to keep me there (not that they have much, anyway).

- As an aside, we’re not actually supposed to know how much each other earns.  It’s in our contracts that we could be terminated for discussing our earnings. I would like to find out what the law is in Romania about that sort of thing, ‘cause I know in the UK and US, that is completely illegal (at least until Theresa May and Donald Trump decide to rail against those laws to keep the populace under control...)  Thus far I’ve not actually been able to find anything specific to Romania, but you can bet your ass I’m going to kick up a stink if I can find out.

- We’ve noticed that all the blokes in our part of the factory get paid at least double what the women do (as I’m currently semi-closeted, because over here anything else would be dangerous, that includes myself).  I’ll let you guess what I believe the reason is for that.

- To stave off boredom, and as a desperate attempt to get out of the country, mother has decided she’s going to open a shop.  She’s been trying to do that literally since we moved here.  First it was cupcakes, then it was Welsh food, then it was slab cakes and coffee, now it’s a chip shop. With the growing anti-Brit sentiment here (it was a small problem even before Brexit, and now with that debacle going on, it’s come out of its shell somewhat), I don’t think that’s going to happen.  And I almost wish the Brexit would hurry up, so at least then we’ll have more of an idea what the fuck is going to happen to expats.  While the rich and powerful have their talks in Brussels, people are left uncertain and scared.

- Mother didn’t want Frank and I to come with her and dad to Romania.  She’s said before that they should be on their own now, having fun, not having us living with them.

Mother: By this time, kids should be out getting married and moving out, but no, I’ve got two gay twits!

- Now that she’s stuck with us, she’s making every effort to get rid of us.  But she’s being really inconsistent about it; sometimes she’ll complain that we’re still here -- sometimes even to the point of being really abusive and guilt-trippy about it -- and sometimes she’ll say she’ll help where she can, and she’ll miss us, et cetera et cetera.  The many faces of mother.

- It was arbitrarily decided that I should move out at the end of June.  I have no idea how I’m going to manage that.  Chuck has agreed to let me stay with her and her boyfriend (though he isn’t happy about it), but she’s in rented accommodation and that could be a problem.

There’s probably more but that’s about what I’ve got from the top of my head at the moment.  Also this is... kind of long.

[itsfinancethings]

Published in partnership with The Fuller Project, a global nonprofit newsroom reporting on issues that impact women.

The three young women agreed they would escape by nightfall. They didn’t have any money or documents, but Jessica, 19, and her friends knew it was time to go. The brothel was not as crowded as usual: since the start of the coronavirus outbreak, the client base had fallen. Together, they waited for night to settle and for the madam to retire to her room. Then, they sprinted for the highway that runs through Papara, a town in the far north of the Ivory Coast, close to the border with Mali.

Jessica and her friend, Favor, had been trafficked into prostitution about a month earlier. (Both women, as well as the other survivors of trafficking in this story, asked TIME to use only their first names out of safety concerns.) Back in February, a female friend to both girls’ families in Nigeria had promised them jobs in a clothing factory in the Ivory Coast. Udochi, 20, had been trafficked in a similar manner earlier in the year. Upon arrival in Papara, all three women found themselves in a brothel, where the madam forced them to have sex with multiple men for a daily salary of $1.29.

The women fled the brothel in March, but almost four months later they are still in the Ivory Coast: three out of hundreds of trafficked Nigerian women who anti-trafficking advocacy groups believe are stuck abroad during the COVID-19 pandemic, as border closures hamper repatriation efforts across the region. When the Nigerian government imposed a state of emergency lockdown in March, they paused international flights in an attempt to curb the infection’s spread and unwittingly left trafficking survivors stranded in dangerous locations far from home. Now these women are anxiously awaiting evacuation from across Africa and the Gulf, as authorities contend with towering logistical hurdles involved in organising safe flights and the virus continues to rage around the world.

Jessica, Favor and Udochi are safe in a women’s shelter in Daloa, a city in the west of the Ivory Coast, but they don’t know when they’ll be able to get back home. “I’m happy I escaped that place,” Jessica said, speaking by phone on a Saturday evening in June. “But we want to go back to Nigeria.”

That the pandemic is having a disproportionate impact on trafficking survivors is agreed by experts worldwide. A forthcoming OSCE Office for Democratic Institutions and Human Rights and U.N. Women survey reveals that almost 70% of trafficking survivors from 35 countries say COVID-19 has negatively affected their financial well being, while more than two thirds say that their mental health is suffering as government-imposed lockdowns trigger memories of the last time their freedoms were taken away.

More than half of the survey participants worried that the outbreak would increase rates of human trafficking in the future, while 43% believed women and girls would be the most at risk in coming months.

Trafficking from Nigeria to other African countries is not a new phenomenon, though the nature of the crime means it’s impossible to accurately track. The International Organization for Migration believes that hundreds if not thousands of Nigerians—the majority of whom are women—are trafficked out of the country every year, often across the continent. Of the 20,500 Nigerian survivors of exploitation helped by the IOM since 2017, some 90% needed to be brought home from Libya. Nigeria’s National Agency for the Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP) identified 20,000 trafficked Nigerian women in Mali in 2019 alone. The Nigerian embassy in Ivory Coast repatriates 20 women monthly, Mohammed Abdulkadir Maccido, the Charge d’Affaires told Nigeria’s Punch newspaper last year.

According to the IOM, most of the trafficking survivors who they work with in Nigeria are women of around 21 years old. They’re often lured with promises of jobs in other African countries, or in Europe or Asia: countries often seen as a welcome escape from rising unemployment in Nigeria. Once the women reach their destination, traffickers hand them off to “madams”: female ring leaders who are often victims of trafficking themselves. The madams force the women into prostitution and domestic work in order to pay back the “debts” they’ve incurred for food, transport and accommodation since leaving their homes—typically thousands of dollars that can take years of forced labor to repay.

During COVID-19, the number of women who are trafficked from Nigeria continues to grow—even as local governments curtail legal movement. When awareness of the coronavirus began to spread in March, authorities in Nigeria and the Ivory Coast swung into action early, fearing an outbreak could decimate their health care systems. By the end of the month, both countries had closed their land and air borders. But despite the restrictions, international law enforcement agents and anti-trafficking organizations say trafficking networks remain active in the region, as traffickers bribe their way across borders in order to move freely.

The Nigerian government began lifting domestic travel restrictions earlier this month, but there is no confirmation yet of when external borders may open again. Nigeria, one of the worst hit countries on the continent, had reported over 34,000 cases and more than 700 deaths by July 16.

Meanwhile, lockdowns are limiting repatriation efforts and leaving trafficking survivors stranded. According to the OSCE ODIHR and U.N. Women survey, at least a third of anti-trafficking organizations worldwide are struggling to repatriate survivors during the crisis. In 2018 and 2019, the International Organization for Migration (IOM) worked with the Nigerian government to repatriate upwards of 7,000 survivors of exploitation each year—men and women who had experienced forced labor and prostitution. Since the start of this year, they’ve only succeeded in repatriating 620 individuals. “It’s a drastic drop,” says Franz Celestin, IOM chief of mission for Nigeria. “The longer we wait, the more they’ll be exploited and the longer the pain and suffering will last.” Motilola Adekunle, co-founder of Project Ferry, a Nigerian NGO working with trafficked survivors and helping Jessica and Favor, agrees that the coronavirus is hampering efforts to support exploited women. “This pandemic has literally put a halt to our work because people cannot move around and that’s an issue,” Adekunle says. Work that previously took days, she adds, now takes months, as systems put in place by nonprofits and governments to repatriate and support trafficking survivors have been turned upside down.

“The Nigerian government has organized so many flights that now they don’t have any space,” says Celestin, of IOM. “It’s very difficult.” He said IOM is currently working to find the funding to shelter 180 survivors of exploitation who are awaiting repatriation from Niger. Until IOM can work out where to house them, they must remain in Niamey and Agadez, far from their families and unsure of when they’ll be able to get home. Celestin hopes to have them back in Nigeria by the end of July.

Since March, repatriation flights have been allowed into Nigeria’s Abuja and Lagos airports, but a 14-day quarantine is imposed upon arrival and problems have arisen regarding where survivors should stay in the days following their return.

Even in ordinary times, the process of recovery following repatriation can be complicated. Nonprofit staff will wait at airports across Nigeria to bring trafficking survivors to previously-identified “safe spaces”—a women’s shelter, or a hotel. Counselling and psycho-social support follows in the form of daily or weekly sessions, while local nonprofit organizations often team up to ensure the women can find employment nearby, and that they won’t fall victim to “re-trafficking” back over the border.

But during the pandemic, the risk of spreading COVID-19 means staying in shelters is no longer an option. In an attempt to help the women reintegrate, organizations have begun rolling out counselling sessions and skills training online, but not everyone has access to the Internet.

“We’ve tried to help some women with getting online during the pandemic,” says R. Evon Benson-Idahosa, founder of Pathfinders Justice Initiative, a local anti-trafficking initiative that’s helping trafficking survivors set up their own businesses. “But many of them just do not have the capacity to switch.”

Outside of the African continent, hundreds of Nigerian women also say they’re stranded after experiencing trafficking and exploitation. An estimated 5,000 to 10,000 Nigerian women are trapped in forced domestic servitude in the Middle East. Nigeria’s National Agency for the Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP) has received over 650 reports of trafficked Nigerian women in Lebanon and Oman in 2020 alone.

Toluwalase, 30, has been trying to get back to her home in Nigeria since June. When the single mother-of-three boarded a plane from Abuja, Nigeria’s capital, nearly two years ago, she was aware she would be a domestic helper in Oman with a $200 monthly salary. What she didn’t know was that her employers would force her to work from dawn to midnight with little sleep, that they would confiscate her passport and delay her salary, and that her boss would sexually assault her.

“I was not told it’s this terrible,” Toluwalase told TIME over WhatsApp. She would not have agreed to work in Oman if she had known about the abuse of migrant workers like her, she says.

Part of the problem is the kafala system—which transfers control of immigration and employment status of migrant workers to individual employers—in countries including Lebanon and Oman. That means reporting abuses to local authorities is rarely an option: legally, a migrant worker cannot leave the country without his or her employer’s permission, even if they’re experiencing abuse. Many migrant workers from Nigeria do not speak Arabic, which also limits their ability to seek help.

Pre-COVID-19, women who were exploited by their employers overseas could contact local human rights advocacy groups, who would then notify Nigerian officials to arrange their journey home. But lockdowns have put a pause to activists’ work, and the migrant workers have found themselves stuck. Julie Okah-Donli, NAPTIP’s director, said that the agency is working with Nigerian embassies across the Gulf and Middle East to evacuate exploited migrant workers and sex trafficking survivors. But because of movement restrictions, the agency can no longer reach stranded women in Europe and Asia. Without intervention, violence and abuse go unchecked. “I can imagine the numbers that have died, unreported during this pandemic,” she says.

There is no official timeline for bringing trafficked persons back home to Nigeria, confirms a spokesperson for the Nigerian ministry of foreign affairs. There are signs to suggest progress is being made, albeit only in certain regions. In May, the IOM and the Nigerian Government were able to repatriate 99 Nigerians who were being exploited in Lebanon—49 of whom were survivors of labor and sex trafficking. Bringing back so many Nigerians from the region in one go is unprecedented: usually the IOM would receive word of two or three trafficking cases in Lebanon every month. “We’re seeing a much more organized approach from the government in dealing with this,” said Celestin. “Usually with victims of trafficking, it’s all under the radar. Maybe it’s because of the spotlight that’s on this, but we are seeing a concerted effort.” The repatriations from Lebanon were possible because the Lebanese government supported Nigeria logistically and financially, said Geoffrey Onyeama, Nigeria’s minister of foreign affairs.

Similar efforts have yet to be seen elsewhere. For Jessica and her friends in the Ivory Coast, the longer repatriation takes, the longer they’re at risk of re-trafficking and violence. Although in a “safe house,” the threat remains that their traffickers will track them down and force them back into prostitution. All the women can do, they say, is hope that the Nigerian government will step in soon.

Those far away in the Gulf share the same wish. Although Toluwalase says that government officials have not responded to her requests for help, she remains optimistic about leaving Oman. The risk of contracting COVID-19 is low on her list of concerns: She is still sexually harassed by her employer and two years of abuse have taken a physical toll—swollen feet, backaches, insomnia. Getting home is the priority.

“If the evacuation flight is ready for us, if our government would evacuate us back home, I will be excited,” she says.

Shola Lawal is a Nigeria-based contributing journalist with The Fuller Project, a global nonprofit journalism newsroom reporting on issues that impact women. Corinne Redfern is a correspondent with The Fuller Project.

[vsplusonline]

Meet India’s inspiring farmers who pivot, adapt and keep supplying fresh produce during the lockdowns

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/meet-indias-inspiring-farmers-who-pivot-adapt-and-keep-supplying-fresh-produce-during-the-lockdowns/

Meet India’s inspiring farmers who pivot, adapt and keep supplying fresh produce during the lockdowns

Diversified deliveries

Kiaro Foods, Hyderabad

Of late, Sharath Reddy Gattu has been living at a makeshift accommodation set up for his staff to maintain hygiene and avoid contamination. His Hyderabad-based enterprise, Kiaro Foods, which started as a dairy production and delivery brand, remodelled itself into a ‘farm-to-home’ service, within a week of the lockdown. The app-based brand has been able to supply seasonal vegetables and fruits, including much-coveted mangoes during the lockdown.

Kiaro Farms’ setups for bringing fresh produce to different parts of Hyderabad   | Photo Credit: Kiaro Foods

Sharath shares, “Letting good produce that wasn’t going out of Telangana rot seemed like not only a waste but also meant we weren’t utilising our existing logistics the right way. After much thought we redesigned our app and introduced same-day harvested vegetables.” The re-branding exercise was driven by the need to help farmers, so that their hard work and produce would not go waste. In the process, ledgers and accounts have gone for a toss, as they focussed on sourcing and logistics as the lockdown came as a bolt from the blue.

A young woman with her selection of fresh produce and baked goods from Kiaro Foods, Hyderabad   | Photo Credit: Kiaro Foods

Sharath says, “At first, we sourced and sold produce without grading; we are not very proud about that. However, we learnt from our mistakes and reworked the system and started grading the vegetables and fruits. Then we sourced eggs from an exporter and started selling them through the app. Soon we realised there was a huge demand for bread, wheat, fruits. We literally rebuilt ourselves on the basis of demand. Our motive was to make sure people get what they need. The breads we supply are from an upscale confectionery that’s known for its desserts; the wheat is also from an exporter who had a big amount of fresh wheat that couldn’t be exported due to lockdown.”

Prabalika M Borah

Hobby turns into need

The Prodigal Farms, Noida

Puneet Tyagi and Neha Bhatia started farming as a hobby four years ago, and soon turned it into a business, first with farm-to-fork weekend experiences and zero-waste workshops, and now with home delivery of their produce that is free of inorganic additives. “We have six farmers working with us, four of whom are women. Their husbands lost their jobs, and so came to the farm; we were able to employ them to deliver the produce,” says Puneet. He says the vegetables are harvested and packed into boxes by the farmers and they would be loaded and delivered by another set of people, ensuring minimal handling.

Initially, they needed to realign deliveries only to Noida, but have now worked out a system of delivering across Delhi-NCR (theprodigalfarms.com/farmstore). Because orders had drastically reduced, and they had a lot of produce, they began making home processed foods like pickle, which people can order. Puneet says the lockdown has helped bring the farmers in the neighbourhood together and many have shown an interest in halting the use of artificial pesticide and fertilizer.

Sunalini Mathew

Farm platform

Krishi Cress, Chattarpur and Faridabad

Achintya Anand, a chef and first-generation farmer, began five years ago, by supplying produce to restaurants and hotels. The lockdown saw demand from the hospitality sector dip to almost nothing.

Within a week or so of operation, the website, orders.krishicress.com, which had been ready, went up for home-delivery orders. “We had been trying it out for a year, but we had a small presence,” says Achintya. Now, orders have doubled, but the cost of logistics poses a challenge. Also, there are two farms, in Chattarpur and Faridabad, so coordinating transportation has not been easy. Another challenge has been maintaining hygiene protocols and implementing changes overnight.

“We are very lucky because a lot of our staff stay at the farm, so there’s minimal contact from the outside; the rest all live close by. Also, as we are located in a remote area, we had started a pick-up and drop facility before the first lockdown,” he says.

What remains popular are his salad and microgreens, as well as the value-adds like kombucha and red pepper chilli jam, whether for households or restaurants, some of which have begun delivery-based kitchens. He’s got orders from a few because, “People are extremely conscious of what is going into their food now.” While demand is growing, they are managing with existing capacity: “It’s difficult to build capacity at this time,” says Achintya.

He sees the lockdown as an opportunity to promote agri-businesses that grow crops free of chemical residue, and push for new hygiene-driven protocols and practices. Eventually, he would like to see farmers band together into a cooperative and set up a platform where the produce goes from farm to table. “The focus needs to be on post-harvest handling. We produce fruit and vegetables as good as any in the world, as long as they’re on the tree or plant. It’s what happens after: the storage, the cold chain maintenance. As for the future: “I don’t want to take any calls for the future. Even the chefs don’t know when their restaurants will be up and running.”

Sunalini Mathew

For a fair deal

HFPA, Bengaluru

The son of agriculturist Shekhappa, Jagadish Sunagad owns 15 acres of land at Baluti near Bijapur. His entrepreneurial skills have helped thousands of farmers in North Karnataka. “I cannot get over the onion and watermelon losses this season,” says Jagadish. “I have an MBA, and being a farmer myself, I understand the farmers’ need to reach their produce to the right quarters. They need guidance in growing and getting the right subsidies.”

Jagadish, CEO of Basavana Bagewadi Horticulture Farmer Producer Company (HFPA) in Kolhar taluk of Bijapur district, has released nine videos on social media to help farmers. “We have 1,000 farmers from 22 villages in the North Karnataka belt in HFPA. Karnataka has nearly 100 Farmer Producer Organisations with about 1,000 farmers, who swung into action to help crops reach consumers. I worked from Kolhar taluk to minimise losses for onion, watermelon, banana and maize.” Jagadish arranged for nearly 100 tonnes of vegetables and fruits to reach cities every week.

“Transportation and labour were herculean tasks, but we saw to it that losses were restricted to about 50%. I roped in my family too; they accompanied the trucks. A farmer associate, Girish Telage, had six truckloads of watermelon worth ₹96,000. In Shivajinagar, he was offered ₹30,000. I intervened and re-routed the trucks to Yeshwantpur, Goraguntepalya, Peenya and Rajajinagar markets and got him a ₹20,000 profit.”

The best deal, according to Jagadish, was the direct FPO-to-FPO exchange programme, where vegetables and fruits were bartered depending on requirements from farmers in Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh. “Onions (500 tonnes), watermelon (400 tonnes) and 200 tonnes of potato did not go waste, thanks to this arrangement, although pricing was heavily compromised.”

Ranjani Govind

Cultural redemption

Solitude Farm, Auroville

Why are we eating cabbage, broccoli, and beetroot and not more sundakkai (turkey berry), vazhapoo (banana blossoms), and karunai kizhangu (yam)? This is among the many questions Aurovillian farmer Krishna McKenzie wants us to ask ourselves. According to him, the pandemic and resulting lockdown has been a “catalyst” in making us understand that a centralised system is not the most practical, or efficient answer our food needs. Deprived of vegetables when the existing food supply system faltered, he says that people “are now waking up to local farming and local distribution”.

Krishna Mckenzie   | Photo Credit: spl

The 47-year-old Englishman, through his Solitude Farm in Auroville, has been at the forefront of what he calls a “cultural redemption” by reminding people of their traditional knowledge, particularly of food and the politics that surrounds it. He has been on his feet during lockdown, setting up kitchen gardens, as well as giving away keerai cuttings, saplings, and seeds to those looking for ways to start their own vegetable patch.

“More and more people are connecting with me now; just yesterday, someone came to take home murungai keerai (moringa) and vazhathandu (banana stem) cuttings,” he says, adding that there has been an increase in the number of organic food baskets he sends out to Auroville and Puducherry. “I have been helping people at their gardens, many of them are now thinking about growing their own food. They now have more time than they usually would.” Krishna points out that people in his neighbourhood are coming together to share their produce.

Krishna has been posting videos on social media on how to better employ urban spaces for vegetable gardening, as well as how to cook local vegetables. He says, “This pandemic has been a wake-up call; it has shown us that the need for food is the common adhesive in the system; that food is one.”

Akila Kannadasan

Seeds of hope

Swadeshi Karshika Vipani, Thiruvananthapuram

The weekly agro bazaar in Thiruvananthapuram, Swadeshi Karshika Vipani, sells produce procured from organic farmers across the district. The maximum produce for this comes from Perumkadavila in Neyyattinkara, on the outskirts of the city. The closure of the market due to lockdown meant there was no avenue to sell the produce for these farmers.

V Sreekumaran Nair, president of Thiruvananthapuram Karshaka Koottayma   | Photo Credit: Special arrangement

That is when V Sreekumaran Nair, president of the Facebook group Thiruvananthapuram Karshaka Koottayma, which is one of the driving forces behind this agri market, came up with a solution. He took orders via WhatsApp, collected produce from 14 farmers in the area and home-delivered the vegetables and fruits to regular customers in two autorickshaws.

“Four of us coordinated the supply. We have nearly 100 regular customers and could deliver the produce to about 40 of them. We did that until lockdown restrictions were made strict. After that, we started selling produce through an eco-shop with the support of the regional agricultural office and Panchayat officials. Now the produce gets sold at our farms itself,” says Sreekumaran, who cultivates on over 2.5 acres. In addition, he has given away seeds and saplings for free.

“I have distributed them to 214 households and 80% of them are taking up farming for the first time. Since many of them are taking baby steps, I have distributed seeds of tomato, lady’s finger, long beans, amaranthus, and brinjal that can be easily grown. Many came all the way from the city on two-wheelers to collect the seeds. There has been a renewed interest in farming and now many people seek help to set up kitchen/terrace gardens,” he says. “When I give away the seeds, I tell them that each has a life growing inside it and they have a responsibility to take care of it,” he adds.

Athira M

Source link

[junker-town]

If you were Sam Ehlinger, you’d point out your value, too

Texas’ QB is living a dream. That doesn’t mean he’s not being exploited, or that he’s wrong for pointing it out.

Sam Ehlinger’s not the first and won’t be the last college athlete to point out the inherent unfairness in his sport’s economic system.

He’ll get more attention than most, though, because he’s the quarterback at Texas, which exemplifies college football’s reality a huge-money sport more than probably any other school. That’s part of why I have written the blog post you’re reading now.

Here’s what Ehlinger just said about the subject, to the extreme anger of a particular subset of sports fan on the internet.

He tweeted this analogy ...

Within this internship, you risk your short-term and long-term health on a daily basis. You endure this internship with less than a 2% chance to advance in your industry and obtain a full-time paid job.

— Sam Ehlinger (@sehlinger3) March 7, 2019

... and backed a congressional bill that, if passed and upheld, would require the NCAA to drop rules barring players from getting paid off their own names:

Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to get an incredible degree and play the sport I love at such a prestigious University. I am extremely blessed.

— Sam Ehlinger (@sehlinger3) March 8, 2019

There are fair debates to have about the logistics of paying college athletes.

Some examples of things that seem fair to ask, in my opinion: Who should do the paying? Do players in every sport get paid? Does every player on the team get paid the same amount? What competitive balance restrictions get put into place? How do you make sure player pay policies conform to Title IX and any other relevant laws?

But please do not say that the quarterback at the University of Texas is compensated fairly by a scholarship, room, board, and good coaching.

Here’s how one weirdly aggrieved person responded to Ehlinger’s tweets. I’m using this example because it tracks with the same arguments mad people make any time a player (or someone else) dares to advocate for a fairer system:

Education? Food? Lodging? Opportunity to promote yourself nationally?

The nerve of those bastards!

Scroll around the replies to Ehlinger’s tweets, and you’ll see lots of that theme. You’ll see the same any time someone with a big enough platform says something similar.

Being a college athlete, especially a Power 5 QB at a legacy program like Ehlinger is, obviously carries many great things. So do lots of other jobs. But that’s not the point, just like it’s not the point when some regular person likes their job but still feels exploited at it. Maybe you’ve felt like that before. I definitely have.

Anyway, here’s what Ehlinger and his teammates help generate for Texas every year:

Around $37 million from the Big 12, which gets that money from broadcast partners. Some of that comes from basketball, and a smidgen from other sports, but the bulk of any big conference’s media deal — especially the Big 12’s — is derived from football.

About another $15 million from ESPN for the right to run the Longhorn Network, a TV channel devoted just to Texas. Again, that’s not all football. Only one or two football games per year actually go on the channel. But the football program has driven Texas’ brand to the heights where it could get a cash cow like LHN in the first place.

Many millions more in ticket sales, direct expenditures to watch athletes play.

Bowl payouts in the seven figures, coming via the Big 12 (but Texas’ players add to that pot whenever they make a bowl, such as the Sugar after the 2018 season).

More in merchandise sales, concession sales at games, and miscellany.

In 2016-17, Texas reported more athletic revenue than any school in the country, more than $214 million. It will eternally stay near the top, and football will stay the biggest driver.

There’s a lot nobody can know for sure about Ehlinger’s place in that system.

Starting here: What’s Ehlinger’s real value to Texas?

It’s impossible to be precise. These deals were put in place before his time, and he has lots of teammates. But he’s the star of a highly expensive TV show 13 or 14 times a year, so let’s just say: a lot.

I don’t know what the true value of a Texas scholarship, room, and board is.

According to UT’s math, the cost is about $28,000 per year for an in-state student like Ehlinger, not counting summer, when athletes are often on campus anyway.

Of course, it doesn’t really cost a school that much to host a student. Ehlinger’s scholarship doesn’t really cost UT even the $11,000 or so it would cost him to pay for tuition for a year if he weren’t on scholarship. That’s unless the school’s literally out of space to host a paying student in his place, and there’s no evidence that’s the case.

I also don’t know what the true value of being coached by Tom Herman and his staff, given nice accommodations, and provided great trainers is.

It varies by player. There are some who develop a ton in college and then cash out big in the NFL. That’s not most of them, and Ehlinger’s a former four-star recruit who could’ve gotten relatively similar coaching at a lot of places.

And I don’t know how, exactly, that weighs against the medical risk football players face, or the likelihood they’ll never see NFL dollars.

Ehlinger alludes to both. Again, they vary by player.

But I don’t need to know any of these things to know if I were the one of the most important figures at the center of a multimillion-dollar entertainment business, and I did not get paid actual money for it, I’d be miffed too.

My guess is the people leaving Ehlinger confrontational replies would also be mad. But if anyone out there has ever been a central figure in a business that generates something like $50 million per year just in TV money and also not been paid for it, please email me or comment below. It would be wonderful to hear your story.

[fylcyoung-blog]

Anti Aging Treatment That Works

Anti aging treatment is and always has been a hot topic. Since ancient times men and women have sought to hang onto youth as long as possible. Today our culture is particularly youth oriented, and this has made the anti aging treatment industry a very big business. The reality is that aging is not a process that can be stopped. It is possible however, to age well, and that has much less to do with erasing wrinkles off the face, and much more to do with living a healthy lifestyle in mind and body, and accepting the process of aging as part of the normal course of life. The Process of Aging In the human body, the process of aging takes this form: for the first 20 to 50 years of life, the body's cells renew themselves near perfectly. After that, there is a decline in the ability to respond to stress, imbalances in the 'systems' within the body, and increased risk of disease. Eventually, this breakdown leads to death. Some scientists now pursue the line that aging is a disease that can be cured. Indeed, there is a genetic triggering mechanism that causes aging to begin, and theoretically it is possible to affect that trigger. However, millions of years of selection have created the aging process, choosing reproduction over longevity as the method for survival of the species. It would be very difficult to create an anti aging treatment that could overcome the evolutionary process. Skin Deep Anti Aging Treatment Over 80% of products that claim to be anti aging treatments are simply designed to treat wrinkles of the face and neck. Plastic surgery and botox injections are also touted as anti aging treatment, but really all any of this does is deal with the aesthetic quality of aging, that is sagging skin, baggy eyes, grey hair and more. There is nothing wrong with pursuing any of these 'treatments' per say, in fact the psychological boost may help in overall health. However, one should be aware that these 'treatments' are literally only skin deep. Hormone Anti Aging Treatment Hormone balance is required for vital body functions to properly regulate and repair themselves. There are many types of hormones produced by the body, and as the production of these hormones begins to decline the body experiences many changes, including fat accumulation, decreased libido, suppression of the immune system, loss of muscle mass, bone density and mental clarity. Human Growth Hormone has been championed as the 'master' hormone that controls much of the body functions, and there have been many claims that injections of HGH slow the aging process considerably. However, it has also been shown that HGH injections can lead to many other problems, including creating diabetes in the body. This is a controversial area that is still under investigation, but there is always danger associated with taking animal hormones into the body. Caloric Restriction Anti Aging Treatment Another method of anti aging treatment is by practicing caloric restriction. This means eating far fewer calories and achieving a body weight 15% to 20% less that your natural 'set-point' weight. Obesity puts a great deal of stress on the body, and few overweight people achieve longevity. Unfortunately, obesity has become an epidemic in the developed world, which means few people will be willing to try caloric restriction as a means to achieve healthy aging. It also means that it is difficult to establish what our actual 'set-point' is, since most guidelines are adjusted to accommodate the general obesity in our society. The Simplest Anti Aging Treatment The best, most holistic anti aging treatment is also what most people don't want to hear: eating a proper diet and getting regular exercise. The societies which tend to have the most aged people have several things in common: they eat more vegetables than anything else, they eat very little red meat, they spend most days, everyday, walking and working, and their society has a healthy respect for the elderly. It is difficult to practice this in our society, particularly since much of our food is laced with sugar, sedentary jobs and recreation is the norm, and our society tends to regard the elderly as dispensable. However, being aware of what we need to do can help us make decisions on a daily basis, and ultimately lead a healthier life.The best anti aging treatment allows for every method that is healthy and safe, for both body and spirit. Most of the anti aging treatment industry is built around trying to eliminate lines and wrinkles, and this can give an important boost to confidence. However, it is equally important to concern oneself with overall health; to eliminate toxins, keep calorie intake low, get plenty of exercise and fresh air, and drink lots of pure, clean water. Combine all this with a grateful attitude and you have a winning combination for achieving a long, healthy, happy life. For more information on this and other Natural Treatment Alternatives, please visit Anti Aging Treatments in Calgary

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/870358

[innlinkr]

Finding an Apartment for Rent: Not a Daunting Task Anymore

In the hierarchy of human needs housing stands at third position after satisfying the needs of healthy food and suitable clothing, because house is the place where a person relaxes according to his desires without any restrictions. Therefore, when it comes to construction of the personal house a person doesn’t leave any stone unturned in furnishing his house with all necessary contemporary accessories.

But, what about the persons who are compelled to live in a rented house, how these people can furnish their houses to enjoy the complete relaxation at their home after having working schedule at their workplace? Because these people have to literally rely on the facilities offered by their landlord and they cannot make any type of change in their place and are bound to adjust with the limited facilities.

Interestingly, all these problems in today’s scenario have become the folklores and now even you can enjoy the pleasure of relaxing in the rented an apartment in the same way as you can enjoy in your personal house. Today, trend of searching for rented apartment through local newspapers or through references has become an obsolete method of searching an apartment, now days there are various real estate agencies that will help you in tracking the apartments for rent according to your requirements. These agencies have the listed of registered apartments available for rent with them and on your request they can help you in getting an apartment on rent depending upon the budget available with you.

But, now you might question about the authenticity of these real estate agencies, especially about their higher service charges and condition of the apartments they provide for your residential purpose. If this is so, then you are at an edge of doing mistake, because the charges of these agencies are dependent upon the type of service required by you. This in-fact is my personal experience as almost a year back, I also had to undergo the same situation of finding a suitable accommodation for myself when last year as my the part of my job responsibility I was transferred to Adelaide from home town Brisbane.

Anyhow, before sharing my experience, let me ask you a question that, Do you also feel that locating at a new place is always a daunting and scary task, especially in…

Source by Kamal Swami

The post Finding an Apartment for Rent: Not a Daunting Task Anymore appeared first on InnLinkr.com | Stay Local and Save.

from https://innlinkr.com/finding-an-apartment-for-rent-not-a-daunting-task-anymore/