#it's like talking to a fucking wall
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#also it's kind of devestating to swich off from fanfics#with so much love and acceptance there#and support and understanding#even if it comes only from one person#to dealing with whatever this fucking woman is#she just opens her fucking mouth once one word one sentence one fucking look from her#and all i want to do is cry#there is a part of me very little and small understanding - that in some fucked up way she cares#but i fucking can't get over in how fucking wrong way she does that#and even if i try to show here different or try for her to understand#she just doesn't#it's like talking to a fucking wall#she just says one fucking thing#and i snap#and it done for the day#they won't be understanding between us without her giving more that she does now#i'm not gonna respect her is she won't do it first#i'm not the better person and i won't be#she's fucking lucky we live together#because she's the only one caring (in the worng way) for this relationship#because i just cut off toxic people like here#and if i ever - or should i say when i move out - i will cut her out completely#she doesn't appreciate what she has now#she will be totally alone then#and so fucking great#she will have exactly what she worked out for herself#stupid *****
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gay trans men: isn’t it fucked up that so many cis gay men proudly talk about how disgusting they think our bodies are, get violent when they realize they were attracted to one of us, push us out of community spaces because they don’t think we belong there, invalidate the orientation of the cis gay men who enter into relationships with us, accuse us of raping the cis gay men we’ve had sex with, aggressively misgender us and make assumptions about our bodies, act like their personal lack of desire to be with us means we must be fundamentally unattractive and morally reprehensible, and generally treat our existence like a personal attack worthy of a violent response when all we’re trying to do is exist?
those cis gay men & their friends: oh my god, you’re literally trying to force your disgusting female pussy onto gay men! this is conversion therapy! you’re a predator and a rapist and you deserve to die!
gay trans men: …we literally do not care if you have sex with us. nobody said anything about that. a lot of us are t4t, asexual, and/or already in a relationship, and the rest of also don’t want to have sex with you that badly because we would much rather be fucking someone who actually likes us; this has never been about who we personally want to sleep with. we’d just really appreciate it if you could treat us like human beings and not actively try to make the gay community hostile toward our existence. you don’t have to be attracted to us, just don’t be awful to us? and maybe, once you have that part down, ask yourself why you were so quick to assume a subset of queer people are all violent predators?
those people: HOMOPHOBES! EVIL GROSS FETISHIZING RAPIST HOMOPHOBES!
#it really is like talking to a brick wall. an aggressively bigoted brick wall#i promise none of you are such spectacular lovers that we’re going to those lengths to fuck you#the more mad we make you the more likely it is that none of us would touch you with a ten foot pole#like. me and my five year committed gay relationship do not want to fuck you#and even if it ended tomorrow. i still would not want to fuck you personally#bc i 1) am primarily t4t. 2) have fucking standards. and 3) have no interest in fucking people who don’t want to fuck me#this was never about wanting to get in bed with you#we just want to exist in peace#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#trans men#transmascs
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i have one video i've been wanting to make about a certain splatoon lore topic so badly for some years now and i wanna do it soon. but every time i think about it i can feel myself going insane. there's so much i need to say. how do i structure this in a way that makes sense. does it even make sense at all. to me? god help me
#rassicas speaks#spoilers: yep its the water thing.#stares haggardly at mirror with my hands white knuckle gripping on the sides of the bathroom sink. splashes water in my face#i feel like ive cracked open a fucking conspiracy. ITS ALL CONNECTED ITS ALL FUCKING CONNECTEDDDDD I FEEL INSANE#stares at my corkboard with strings. punches wall#the water weakness is not as stupid and disjointed as everyone thinks and i have to prove it.#the disconnect between the west and JP in terms of acceptance of the water weakness lore is fucking insane#there's a video from a edutainment quiz youtuber in JP. not a splatuber mind you. that talks about osmosis and how it connects to inklings#the canon explanation mind you. this video has a million views!!!#a million fucking views!! its a video for casuals!! everyone knows inklings canonically die in water and the reason is related to osmosis!!#meanwhile if you bring up the concept of inklings dying in water on the western side with hopes to theorize according to canon lore#and i will. present the dev interview that outright confirms the reason is related to osmosis.#u know what happens. um actually they only die in fresh water! um no they dont die in water they just cant swim! DO U KNOW HOW INSANE I FEE#jp side has been speculating on how the osmosis thing actually works on inkling biology for years#and the english side cant even get over the hurdle that the water weakness is like. real undeniable canon#like i get that info is less accessible here. as i will prove. in my video eventually.#but holy fuck it makes me crazyyyyy when i actually do present stuff and ppl cover their ears anyway. this has happened a lot.
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loving slashers is the most extreme end of the asshole x sunshine trope and y/n syndrome. every slasher slut is of the view they would be the exception to said slasher’s victim pool, the one person that slasher doesn’t kill bc they’re nOt LiKe thE oTheR vIcTiMs.
“🥰 he wouldn’t kill me bc-“
girl yes he would. you would not last 4 seconds in a room w any slasher. they would gut you. and while spluttering blood you’d thank them.
#jason vorhees slammed your head against a wall like a smashed pumpkin before you’ve had time to breathe#michael myers isn’t giving you time to talk he’s slowly walking over to stab you babe#art might fuck you first but he’s still killing you after#brahms might keep you as a fleshlight so actually you could survive (debatably)#michael myers#jason vorhees#art the clown#brahms heelshire#michael myers x reader#michael myers imagine#michael myers halloween#halloween michael myers#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms heelshire imagine#art terrifier#terrifier art#art the clown x reader#art the clown imagine#slasher#slasher x reader#slasher imagine
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house md is wild because house tells wilson that he’ll sacrifice many things but never himself and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he
#also like. this is the guy who said that 'people dont change' for the majority of his life and then when wilson is dying hes like 'i can cha#nge' its that he doesn't talk about his feelings and he cannot bear to show weakness until it seems that he is losing wilson and then#he will literally say anything to keep him its that he is shown repeatedly to be a vicodin addict and that hes destroyed relationships over#his pain and his need for vicodin but he'll give wilson his own pills and go without to make sure wilson has enough meds its that he is#old and cynical and his beliefs about humanity have been written in stone and his walls are topped with turrets and barbed wire but the gate#s fucking open for wilson time and again and wilson is the exception to the rules time and again its. so fucked up#wilson is quite literally his anchor in humanity wilson is his achilles heel wilson is his entire support system the foundations of gregory#house's life have been built around one james evan wilson from the moment he saw that twink throw a bottle into a mirror. am i making sense#here. do these words mean anything#house#wilson#hilson#house md#hatecrimes md#house is a very very carefully constructed facade and wilson is a fucking sledgehammer.
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do you deserve to be loved?
#*smashes thru the wall like the kool aid man* im fucking back#we're so back. it's joever. i'm screeching into the sun i'm ILL i fucking sobbed last night i cried during work#i sat and drew during my lunch i finished the lore drop at 7am and didnt sleep and drew until work started at 9#i. um. i dont even know where to start for making shit. i feel adrift i feel lost in the sauce of misery#the way he screamed at his baby self that he didnt deserve to cry. that he didnt deserve to be loved. im fucking ILL#ive talked before abt his bad relationship w his own mortality but ngl i REALLY underestimated how deep this ran...esp w the new dad knowle#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#silver vanrouge#ch7 spoilers#book 7 spoilers#he got a new rigged expression!!! all the new animations!!!!!! as a rig animator by trade i was v impressed and pleased#silver nation. fuck every other book like im sorry this one wins u cant deny it#suntails
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Recently I’ve been getting anons and comments doubting the validity of some of the stories I tell on here. There’s nothing I can do to convince you that the stories I tell on here are completely genuine. All I can say is that they really are. I only post the wackiest, most interesting or funny stories of my life on here. You don’t get much of the boring day to day stuff.
Truth is, I come from a very long line of crazy people. When my dad was in med school he and some friends planted a small homemade bomb in an abandoned bathroom at their university. His roommate stole a pancreas from the corpse lab and put it in a girl’s backpack. The entire med school was suspended because no one owned up to it. My uncle would sneak out at night with my grandma’s car and she’d find out because she’d check the mileage and see it’d gone up, so my uncle started driving her car backwards since that didn’t increase the mileage. He got arrested driving her car backwards on the highway to another town. My uncle would steal my grandpa’s shotgun, tell his friends to jump in the pool, and start firing it randomly at the backyard. My cousin genuinely had two weed smoking girlfriends who were also girlfriends with each other. My great uncle had an affair exposed by having his intimate photos and videos with his mistress sent to the family groupchat by people who stole his phone, all because they were salty that my aunt told them to go fuck themselves when they messaged her asking for money. My aunt took out all her life savings and moved to another state to build a bunker because she believes the apocalypse is coming, and she didn’t even take any of her children. I don’t know how to tell you this, but life is just stranger than fiction sometimes. The sample size of life stories you get on my blog are just the instances in which that’s true.
#I don’t make money on tumblr I don’t have any mutuals I talk to this is truly just where I deposit my wackiest thoughts and experiences#there’s nothing I can do to prove to you that I’m being truthful when I make these posts but I just am#you not believing me doesn’t make it any less true it just robs you of basking in the ridiculousness that is my life#There are many mental illnesses running through my family but the one I inherited is bipolar disorder lol#there’s probably many more that didn’t reach me. whatever the fuck my uncle has being one of them#he was also arrested because he did a bunch of coke and started walking completely naked on top of the fence walls around the property#when you consider my family you actually discover that I am incredibly normal and well adjusted#please also remember that my family is from small town Brazil#shit like this just happens#this isn’t even touching on my great grandma who was a psychic
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Is this anything?
#i realize im using anti’s as an umbrella term here#i mean ppl who only want rakes as male leads#and dont understand him like i do#and think hating each other for awhile is the only way to get good romance#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#bridgerton series#bridgerton netflix#bridgerton season three#bridgerton spoilers#demisexual colin bridgerton#demisexual#that is canon#you wanna say otherwise talk to a fucking wall#pry it out of my cold dead hands if you want#polin#i may be questioning if im demi bc of him#either way i defend him with my life
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sketchdump
#listen i dont have good art to post take this#the pink one is from september and hte other 2 r recent i feel like ive gotten better at drawing Chris Dunne#i actually. really hate how the pink wall drawing looks i dont think i got either of their appearances right but. whatever.#maybe ill redraw it at some point thay could be fun :0#2beetles draws#litwtc#litwtc fanart#i dont remember the name of the episode where they talk about germs extorting you and fucking your wife😭#life in the world to come
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some additional doodles and a Lot of Headcanons... sorry if im spamming these a little bit. ive got so many thoughts in my head, lmao
theres my older pacifica- after weirdmageddon, her and gideon become friends. theyre both sort of ostracized from the town as a whole bc of their past attitudes/actions so they cling together and become buds. its nice having someone else who 'gets' it.
pacifica moved out as soon as she could to get away from her folks and has a job at a local mall. gideon enables her to enjoy at least SOME of her old luxuries by taking her shopping and to get their nails done together and stuff. also his prison buddies help ''kindly persuade'' her parents not to break her enforced no-contact rule from time to time. i know the two have the bitchiest gossip in the entire town together. sometimes when its hard to be 'nice' they know they can at least vent to the other and they wont get judged for it, yknow?
also some backstory doodles! he was a Normal Kid, Once. or close enough to it. gideon was a sickly child and was sheltered and homeschooled for most of his life. the gleefuls moved from texas to oregon when he was about seven (yes i know this breaks canon a little. its fine shh.) and he found journal 2 shortly after. things went downhill from there
other notes. he's always kept his hair long, but used to either let it down or tie it into a long braid. he very briefly attended a public school and he didnt fare very well there (fat kid + albino + 'girly' + general weird interests is basically painting a massive target on your back) he used to stay up and watch late night televangelists when he couldnt sleep in hospital and copped his aesthetic from there
sorry this post is so long i have a lot of thoughts about him </3
#alloyart#gravity falls#gideon gleeful#pacifica northwest#i dont think pacificas 'aesthetic' changes much apart from she allows herself to be more casual now bc she has less 'standards' to uphold#shes still learning what she actually ENJOYS. because shes had her whole life dictated by her parents up until now. its slow going#its funny how in my 'carrying on from canon' au/timeline basically everyone tries to become a nicer or better person#pacificas parents are not included in this tho. fuck em lol. she does NOT have contact with them if she does not absolutely HAVE to.#and having a pal who knows a lot of criminals is actually comforting. gids puts the wall of muscle between her and her parents#they got that upper-middle class solidarity goin on#anyway. sorry this is a fuckin wall of text. like i said ive got SO many headcanons ive not posted publicly#Talk To Me About Gideon Charles Gleeful [i am gripping my desk very tightly]#(in all seriousness if you ever want to hear more uh. idk. send me an ask or something. ask me about headcanons. i'll be happy)
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Insane to me that people, including other film makers, are so ready to throw down against Scorsese. If the trolley problem was the entirety of marvels output on one track and one more Scorsese film on the other, I’d ram that bitch through the mcu so hard it would obliterate every trace of iron man from time and space. God bless ‘em but I would 💖
#I say this as a one time marvel enjoyer.#ten words from grandpa mean more to me than anything captain America has ever said so we are clear#you may not choose this option and that’s fine but I’m going full throttle you should know that about me#and if I see one more comparison of some marvel quadrilogy spin off poster you need three tv shows and five movies to understand who is even#ON IT held up against Wolf of Wall Street like it proves something I’m gonna commit#and I don’t even LIKE wolf of wall street that fucking much#he is one of our foremost creatives and he is talking about how the catch of humanity is you are given more creative drive and ambition and#KNOWLEDGE than time and how heavy his OWN DEATH looms and we’re doing THIS
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im just imagining nandermo in a very enclosed space like for some reason they gotta be chest to chest pushed up against a wall and its awkward for a moment but then nandors eyes are just boring into guillermos and guillermo has that uncertain but unwavering stare too, and is this what is gonna take for them to kiss?
#at this point im just running all scenarios in my mind and spilling all my thoughts about them into the ether#i swear i am not fine#they kiss nandor blurts out i love you please dont ever leave me please dont die#and they share their feelings while kissing and bang against that very wall while telling the other how much they mean to them#nandor expecially is a flood of YOURE SO AMAZING GUILLERMO I LOVE YOU PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE#im going INSANE over them hahahaha#guillermo is too stunned and enjoying the physical sensation to be so close to nandor and to see nandor be so vulnerable#nandermo#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#atp im just saying whatever insane shit is passing through my head at any given moment. but thats what tumblr is for basically you will#forgive me about it. i just am a very physical person and i think a physical moment is always very good to unfuck a totally fucked dynamic#like talking of course would be preferrable but these two have so much shit under the bridge#that theyre sort of stuck in this ‘the love is requited they are just idiots’ cycle#annnnyway#bye#some messy liveblog tag#comment#*
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percy needs to be haunted by bianca's ghost more
#percy jackson#bianca di angelo#she doesn't even have to do it herself#he is just trapped in the horror of watching someone die and never recovering from the guilt that follows#like i thin we should talk more about how she was the first permanent death of the series and the first death he really witnessed#i think he should be more deranged by it tbh#painfully devoted to nico's health and happiness in a way that skips the border of unhealthy and jumps straight into fucked up#even better if bianca doesn't care. and nico has moved on. so the only person who is stuck in this void of misery about it is percy#and he can't emerge. no matter what he does no matter the time that passes she is always there in the back of his mind#a reminder of the first time he failed to protect someone else.#a reminder of his selfishness. his inability to follow through on promises. of his powerlessness. his uselessness.#in tbotl he finds out that nico doesn't care about him or his soul. he doesn't want percy dead. and percy is weirdly gutted by this#he needs nico to hate him and it freaks him out that nico doesn't. he's clearly upset but percy isn't centered in it the way you'd think.#nico has his own mission and percy is barely a side note in it and he's so bothered by that. it drives him up the wall#how selfish is it to be upset with someone for not hating you because you got their sister killed?#he hates himself so much. he wants to die so bad. but he can't. he has to keep going. for nico. for bianca. he doesn't have a choice#happy talks pjo#okay it is 3:36am and i am. going to try to sleep now
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as an american, sam reid’s total inability to hide his contempt for overly fake-chipper american journalists, especially ones who Have Not Done The Assigned Reading know and care about the show, will never not be hilarious and iconic to me
#sometimes he can dial it back to civil blank apathy#but i have never laughed and cringed like that at the same time#sorry we’re so fake bro we’re just Like That#his frank tiredness with unoriginal or dumb questions is kinda refreshing#i think we first got it full-blast with It’s What’s Written In The Books last season#after 5K ‘why is it gay’ questions#but that latest Dish tv interview where the journo joked they thought he was dead holy fuck#defcon 1 levels of Done#it’s sort of fascinating since generally all celebrities play along with any interviewing atrocities they suffer though#american fakeism is the lowest bar to endure but the man is just a wall#lol don’t lose that sir#iwtv#interview with the vampire#okay no sorry this is my ted talk—#i mean he’s not alone frex some european actors in particular seem to pull out their best acting chops when#faced with shrilly chipper american interviewers#though sometimes you can catch the horror in their eyes#and hugh grant epically blanked that one effusive interviewer on the red carpet at the oscars the yr before last#and was almost assigned 40 lashes in the court of public opinion#(until will smith sucked all the oxygen out of the room)#but sam reid is just full stop not going to reflect back. it’s…kind of awesome and not a little brave in this biz#anyway this has been my ted talk#saluting an icon 🫡
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bi-han and kuai liang this time! I love. fucked up brothers. and they're so so so messed up. when bi-han comes out of the fog in that one scene? I'll be thinking about it FOREVER
#im bi-han enjoyer and man did this game give me a lot to enjoy#also he sounds so fucking heavy when he hits something like ohhhh my god fold me in half and throw me at a wall#i had something half serious thoughts wise about the dynamic they have in this timeline specifically#the way that kuai liang frames bi-han's betrayal when he's speaking to other characters vs when he's talking to tomas#but im thinking about uhhhhhhh. im thinking#mortal kombat 1#mortal kombat#bi han#kuai liang
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it is always nice to find another abuse survivor who also felt like ford's story resonated with them. it's nice to feel like there's other people who know what I'm talking about
#so it's not like I'm talking to some brick wall or something lol#I feel like psychological abuse gets downplayed a bit but man it really fucked me up#psychological abuse is like a domino effect. you are conditioned to do one thing that gets carried over to the next abusive situation#and that gets you conditioned to accept another hurtful thing etc etc#and then it stacks up and you end up where you are. it's why abuse victims are seemingly magnetic to abusive situations.#because they were abused in the past#though this is also just me explaining complex post traumatic stress disorder
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