#i actually. really hate how the pink wall drawing looks i dont think i got either of their appearances right but. whatever.

[2beetles]

sketchdump

[yozzers]

vexos hcs and random notes

ill update as i go, because yes i do update my masterlists every once in awhile, i should probably add them to my pinned... 

General

I sincerely hope they have a small living arrangement so I can inflict them with the pain of having to share almost everything with each other

I just want Shadow and Lync to share a bunk

Like to think that alongside Volt, Mylene and Lync were also recruited by Hydron

None of them officially joined until they were a bit older but probably trained to eventually join the Vexos; in the mean time they probably worked for Hydron or something like that

Volt recruited at 11; Lync a year later and Mylene following not long after (respectively 13, 8, 12 when they’re all gathered)

My reasoning to why Volt is patient with Lync’s antics and Mylene less so but doesn’t lash out as badly as you think she would around annoying little kids; grew up tgt moment

Spectra probably forced his way into the Vexos like “hiiii i see you dont have any Vexos members <3″ bcs obv he wasn’t using royal scientist dad privelages (i think, bcs Clay seems horrified abt Spectra being a Vexos and well, being Spectra) 

Shadow had an advantage of being a nobleman (in terms of him being accepted into the Vexos’ ranks)

the Vexos and their set of rules magent-ed on the fridge door or something and every time they go over a page they have to staple/tape a new page on

Joined in this order, Volt, Spectra, Shadow, Mylene, Lync, Gus 

Vexos being a “chance of death low but the chance is still there” type of job... they feel like idols girl help they are bakugan idol group who work for the government 

sorry the way the vestal kids talk about them... going to treat the Vexos like a kpop group now

Spectra Phantom / Keith Fermin 

[canon] son of a (royal?) scientist. definitely had it good and comfy

think it’d be REALLY funny if he already knew Shadow before he became Spectra, Shadow just doesn’t recognize him bcs of his stupid get up

throws childhood friends Shadow Spectra at you, just two weirdos 

Keith specifically keeps Shadow from ever meeting his sister which is why neither of them really recognize each other

Pre-Spectra; probably would’ve been really into bakugan biology and what not. Feels like the kind of person to talk w/ his dad about “do you think we could change their appearance if we messed w/ their mechanical ball form or would it not carry over to their released forms”

this mf looks like a biology major i feel it in my guts 

mom isn’t dead she just divorced Clay bcs he didn’t know how to balance family and work, good for her

probably lives in another city now, and it’s a bit more of a hassle to meet with her kids so they don’t see her as much but she is present in their lives (keep in contact in other ways) 

probably went a bit silent when Keith went missing

didn’t bleach his eyebrows bcs he didn’t want to harm the skin around there and he never thought he’d take the mask off around others, or about how stupid he’d look without the mask

please please please please draw him with his pink hair roots in his MS fit he should've grown out some of his bleached hair by then

daddy issues is truly the root of evil

Gus Grav

Just Some Gut background; middle class just living life

[canon?] was going on a route to being an “idol brawler”, because that’s kind of what their brawls felt like, since it was all purely for show with some competition. it felt less like a sport and more spectacle.

Gus wanting to be an idol brawler is actually such a funny string of words put together I’m making that a thing, if he didn’t join the Vexos he would’ve been an idol brawler

I like the Gus needs glasses hc (shoutout to @marmeladebois ‘s post on that) 

The hc of him being half human and Runo’s half brother is so good 

Cooks well but refuses to help cook fr the Vexos (unless Spectra specifically asks) --> that job is usually left to Volt

not related but reminds me heavily of yugioh vrain’s Spectre (or other way around... Gus was the blueprint) 

Shadow Prove

[handbook canon] a vestal nobleman 

has an older brother (oc; Lux- casual Haos brawler)

inferiority complex or whatever, the only thing he bested his brother in was Bakugan

the Prove family being typical prim proper noble family and forcing Shadow to be repressed is something, but the Proves having the same kind of wavelength as Shadow but in different variations is funnier. They’re just Like That.

Probably not a military family, does work closely with the government still; um im thinking somewhere under the Fermins but not by much

Considered running away from home several times 

Unwillingly has knowledge on Vestal classic literature/ music

hard clutching a wall whenever he wants to join in on discussions about it bcs he knows this stuff but no way is he going to make himself look like a nerd + hes not actually that interested

*debates you for fun and bcs i hate u <3* 

You know how he doesn’t take his job as a Vexos member super seriously, I wonder:

did his parents force him to be a Vexos since he wasn’t interested in the political side of his family and probably against taking up anything related to it, so they had him do something that’d still be beneficial to the family?  

joined to pursue a freedom he didn’t have as a nobleman and is now just taking it really easy?

has clowns > jesters debate with volt; obv he’s team clown, volt is team jester

incredibly irrelevant but if he was a human he’d be chinese, i’ve claimed him, prodigal son older brother and fail son dynamic is there 

Mylene Ferrow

While I like the idea of her being from a military family, I want to make her like Ling Wen (TGCF) in the sense she started from the bottom and climbed to the top... it fits her ambitious nature of grasping for more, she hasn’t reached what she considers the top just yet... 

[very Ling Wen specific but Mylene being put in jail fr crimes unknown to me and being recruited  by Hydron bcs she kicked serious ass is an entertaining thought] 

I like to think she’s closest to Shadow due to the fact he kind of forces his presence onto her so... not her choice in that matter. “annoying” to “endearingly annoying, you still aren’t getting special treatment though”

Ofc Volt and Lync are on the same level, but I think they all know when to give each other space so they’re more of a “we hold each other at a distance, but we’re aware of out closeness which is enough for us”

Then its Spectra and then Gus in the “closest to Mylene” scale; she just straight up hates Gus and it’s mutual

whoever made the “Mylene and Spectra were exes” hc I think it’s really funny so I’m adding it here 

terrible fashion, she’s the one who chose the outfits when she and Shadow went to earth; her fashionable armor look she usually has was designed with Volt’s help, she just voiced what she generally wanted 

Her red lipstick look was bcs she thought it’d make her look more serious/ intimidating (Volt and Lync approved, it rlly does work on her)

Shadow matches w/ her (via his red nails) after they get teamed up tgt several times bcs he thinks they’re basically the go-to duo matchup whenever they’re assigned work n it’d be cool

Very forthcoming about the fact she used to be considered a criminal and was from same rundown area Volt and Lync come from

She’s grateful she got out of jail but she still has no respect for Hydron and despite how much she tries to hide it she does make it pretty clear to him she doesn’t really like him

I wish I had more to say about her... but It’s all relationship esque, i think in general she’s enjoyable and good so what I want more out of her is character dynamics

Lync Volan

[eng dub] he has grandparents; whether they’re still alive or not is...? 

was part of the same area Volt is from

probably aware of each other but didn’t really know each other

you sound like you have mommy issues 

came from the same area as Volt, but lived further out and closer to those areas where there were some bits of nature left 

ill expand on why he got picked up by Hydron another day lazy rn

Volt Luster

[canon] he’s from an area that just straight up looks like yugioh 5ds’ Satellite, and Hydron was the one who pulled him out of there  

He says Hydron pulled him out of there when he was a kid? I’d assume at youngest it’d be like Hydron (8) and Volt (11)

has a neat collection of handmade jester dolls 

lot more artistic than he seems 

Had his guardian bakugan with him the longest; had Brontes even before he met Hydron

Would the others consider him weird fr having a talking Bakugan that acted friendly with him n cracked jokes? 

[arysthaeniru]

aAAA the joy of seeing an update on your current favorite fanfic is just aAAA

I always felt that kiwami 1s Nishiki was just a bit too,, I dont know how to describe it; but essentially he just felt off, granted yakuza 1 is a product of its time and therefore the plot is a bit dated and whack as all hell

The way you write Nishiki just feels so much better and realistic; in the original he just seems so uncaring towards Kiryu? which just feels kinda OOC? You'd think he still cares about Kiryu despite it all, especially when you take Yakuza 0 into consideration; and i feel like you portray Nishiki much more accurately

I never thought much about Yumi, because honestly, in the original she was kinda just, there? You actually made her a very interesting person! like I'm actually invested in her in your story! (side note you ever think about her clone who got tortued and died? yeah who WAS that???? thats never brought up is it??)

Theres so much more to talk about but in short; This is the best fix it/rewrite of a game plot I have read to date and it brings me joy in my current stressful school life. and no I will not stop praising it or the author, because this work has made me very happy. ;)

I just have a gift for picking favorites that end up dying,,aand another favorite of mine is Mine

imo theres a lack of soft, reassuring Minedai, i just feel like he'd need a reminder that people love him as a person and not just for the money he can provide, even if its obvious

I'd love to see how you'd write them, but I understand if theres more interesting/appealing drabble requests!

- Carp

CARP, thank you for this <3 this is so sweet!!!!! I’m so happy you enjoy my Nishiki! I had fun playing with what Yakuza 0/the Kiwami additions gave us about Nishiki’s personality and outlook on the world, and trying to reconcile that with the plot that Yakuza 1 initially had. Ultimately, I fell on the side that you did: even if Nishiki’s ambition took him down a monstrous path, I don’t think he’s the sort of person who neglects to pay back his debts. And he’s aware of the huge debt he owes Kiryu. Not to mention, their bonds of trust and love vanishing completely because of jealousy felt unreal to me. Their relationship becoming twisted or strange? Yes, but vanishing entirely felt unsatsifying to me. 

And Yumi!! I had so much fun excavating her character from the clues we get of her in canon. I worry sometimes, that she’s unrecognizable, because you know, I’ve given her a college education, and a whole bunch of interests beyond hostessing alone, but people seem to like it and like her, which is great!! I hate fridging women characters, so keeping her and Reina alive was important to me, hahaha. (RE: fake!Mizuki, there’s this substory in Kiwami that actually addresses who she was, BUT IT’S EVEN MORE HORRIFYING. So that’s why Yumi in my fic is the one captured and tortured by Nishiki’s men, because the thought of this poor innocent woman getting dragged into the mess was just untenable to me.)  

Anyway, thank you for your support and kind words, and I hope you’ll continue to read and that my fic can continue to relieve stress. I--tried to write this about Mine, but Daigo kind of stole the spotlight a little??? I hope you still like it--if not, I will try a ficlet from Mine’s perspective too. I enjoy minedai a lot, but I haven’t had room to think out their dynamic yet, so this took me a while. 

Daigo’s no stranger to being desired. He’s attractive, he knows this—his mother’s beauty lives in his veins, and he’s always had the money to look after himself. Fancy soaps to wash his face, the invisible retainers to keep his teeth straight, fancy suits and skin-tight shirts to show off his frame. For all that Kiryu insists his charisma is something that comes from the soul, Daigo knows it wouldn’t be able to draw the sort of attention he does without being attractive.

Which is to say that Daigo’s not especially thrown off by the intensity of Mine’s gaze. It’s happened before, and it’ll happen again. The thing that surprises him is how much he relishes in being seen by Mine.

Maybe it’s because Mine’s an island in a stormy sea, one of the only yakuza his age who’s sensible and level-headed enough to make it big. Maybe it’s because Mine’s gaze is always so reserved, polite, never overly lusty or overstaying its welcome, and Daigo has so rarely been desired so quietly. Or maybe it’s because Majima and Kashiwagi so clearly disapprove of him—Daigo’s always been something of a rebel, and he hasn’t shaken that off, even now he’s in his thirties and is the arbiter of rules for the Tojo Clan.

Daigo can’t quite put a pin on why he’s so comfortable with Mine’s yearning looks, but he’s never been one to hold back when he wants to indulge in something good. Not exactly a hedonist, not by yakuza standards, but Daigo has never kept himself from enjoying life, in the name of some dubious ‘honour.’

Which is why, in an after-hours meeting with Mine, as they eat cheap takeout sushi together, Daigo takes his chance. A momentary slip, the slightest hint of wasabi left at the corners of Mine’s lips and Daigo swoops in, rubs a thumb over the corner of Mine’s lips. Mine stutters to a stop, mid-sentence through a rundown of the real-estate that the Hakuho Clan’s been purchasing up, and stares at Daigo, eyes bewildered.

“Sixth Chairman?” he asks, his voice still remarkably composed.

“Wasabi.” Daigo says, nonchalantly, as if it’s nothing, and sticks his thumb into his mouth, slowly licking it off with a lingering lave of his tongue. He feels a sharp stab of satisfaction as Mine’s eyes turn darker, and his gaze follows Daigo’s hand down.  

Daigo straightens up, languidly, and cracks his neck, casually. At this point in the day, he’s untucked his shirt, and he knows that a slight strip of his stomach will be visible when he stretches out his arms towards the ceiling. And as predictably as clockwork, Mine’s gaze darts downwards, to that pale expanse, to catch that brief second of skin. Daigo can’t help but feel warm. Something about being watched by Mine is exhilarating.

“Smoke?” offers Daigo, but as usual, Mine refuses, with a polite shake of his head.

Daigo knows from hearsay that Mine’s something a health-freak, so he’s not entirely surprised. It’s already too late for Daigo to preserve his health—he knows that his liver’s already been pretty ruined from long nights of binge-drinking as a youth, and this job’s too stressful to withhold from vices like smoking and drinking, without an optimal end-goal. So he walks over to the window, cracks it open a little, and lights up.

The breath of nicotine curls over his body, a tender caress, and Daigo feels his shoulders drop, as the relaxation hits. He pulls off his cufflinks, tosses them into his pockets and rolls up his sleeves. He takes it slow, runs his fingers over his skin a little more than strictly necessary. Surreptitiously checking the reflection in the window, Daigo watches Mine watch him, and smirks at how intense that gaze is, how Mine’s mouth has opened, and Daigo can just see the soft pink of his tongue.

“Dojima’s just fine, you know. When it’s just us two.” Daigo says, turning over his shoulder. He smiles, one of those charming smiles that had always gotten him whatever he wanted as a child, “We’re same-aged friends, after all.”

“Dojima-san.” Mine acknowledges, after a brief pause.

Daigo turns around, to properly look at Mine and lifts an eyebrow. “Dojima. Or Daigo, preferably. Dojima-san’s always my father in my head.”

Mine nods, face impassive. Daigo can’t read him like this. Maybe that’s why he likes when Mine stares at him, filled with longing. At least then, Daigo feels like he knows him. In moments like these, his implacable gazes might as well be a brick wall. “Right. Your Father was also in the Tojo Clan.”

Daigo smiles, wryly, and blows out a puff of smoke. “One of the most horrible men I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting—and I had to call him Father. But damn if he wasn’t good at the job.” He sighs and stubs the cigarette out against the ashtray. “...sometimes feel like I’m competing with his dead spirit. Everybody’s looking at me and wondering if this is what my Father would do. Or what Kiryu-san would do.”

“You’re doing better than any of them.” Mine says, immediately, with a vicious ferocity that Daigo wasn’t expecting. He can’t quite stop his eyebrows rising in surprise, and Mine straightens upwards, looking self-conscious immediately. Daigo regrets his instinctual reaction, immediately. “That is to say, Dojima, that I think that you’ve pulled this Clan into somewhere far more respectable. From what I’ve heard of your Father, he didn’t have the temperament to do proper business on this level—too insistent on formal obeisance and unable to be flexible as the times require. And Kiryu-san might be very honourable, but we are yakuza. There are certain things you have to do as a Chairman, that he couldn’t bring himself to do. But you are practical and do what is necessary, while also not overstepping into excessive violence. You are uniquely suited for this job, Dojima.”

...he’s taken aback a little, he can’t deny it. Daigo wonders if his cheeks are colouring, wonders if his obvious shock is offputting, wonders if this is how Mine feels every time Daigo teases him lightly about his obvious attraction. A startling warmth spreads through his chest, and Daigo can’t stop the slight smile that touches his face. Has anybody ever said something so unreservedly kind and measured about Daigo before?

Maybe this is the difference between everybody else’s gazes on him, and Mine’s gaze. It’s based on something more than desire alone. Respect.

Daigo runs a hand over his slicked-back hair and ruffles it free, with a rueful smile, a smile that he couldn’t take away from his face, even if he tried. “I appreciate that. You know I couldn’t do it without you, right?”

He’d never really believed himself capable of attraction to a man like Mine. All of his previous childhood crushes had been on bright, cheerful conversational, pure-hearted people. Daigo had always figured they would balance out his sardonic cynicism. He’d never thought someone as reserved and principled as Mine would ever make his heart flutter. But then, there was something about that deep hunger and passion that Daigo craved. Perhaps it was because he was no longer the gloomy punk of his youth. Maybe his tastes have changed towards tall, dark and handsome. Maybe Mine’s just that special.

“Dojima—” Mine says, clearly trying to refute it, but Daigo cuts him off.

“I mean it. Everybody in this fucking Clan wants me to do something or be somebody else. Kashiwagi-san wants me to be my mother. Majima-san wants me to be Kiryu-san. Everybody else expects my Father. But not you. You deal with me honestly, and with candour, and never hold any expectations against me except success. I appreciate your faith in me.” Daigo takes a couple of steps forward, until his shoes almost brush up against Mine’s own. He leans down over Mine’s chair. “I could not do this without your backing and help. Truly. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone like you in my life. A true friend.”

Mine tilts his chin up to meet Daigo’s gaze, a hungry devotion in his eyes, and Daigo, for a moment, wonders if this is wrong. If he should hold back, like Kiryu would. But Daigo is Daigo, and Mine clearly wants him anyway, so he leans down and kisses him.

Mine’s mouth is velvety smooth and wet and hot and it is oh-so satisfying a feeling to put his hand against Mine’s broad neck and feel his warmth up against Daigo. He pulls back, with a satisfied sigh, and feels the burn of wasabi across his lips, a final parting kick.

[marvel-m-lee]

Alone, Bored and Mischievous~

Words- 2034

Fandom- Rick and Morty

Focus Characters- you, Jerry, Rick

Summary- You were bored in the house and in the house bored, everyone else was out apart from Jerry so you decided to hang out with your favourite dad.

●■○□■●○□■●○□■●○□■●○□■

You were bored as fuck. You wondered around the house, unsure if what to do. Everyone seemed to be doing their own things; summer had gone to the mall with Beth- your adopted mother- Jerry was reading a newspaper in his 'man cave', Morty was out and you had no clue where Rick had gone so you assumed the two were on an adventure.

You wandered around the house aimlessly. Usually you'd go out with friends or have plans but everyone else had plan today with family or dates or other shit. So you were left alone.

You looked at the couch, sitting down and wondering if you should watch some interdimentional tv, you turned the tv on and grabbed a remote, sitting on the couch.

You were wearing some pretty lazy stuff although it was hot out. It wasn't burning but it was definitely hot enough, you wore an over sized baby blue t-shirt with a little bee on the breast saying 'bee-kind' and some casual black leggings with no socks or shoes. Your hair was down and partly messy, thought you had brushed it prior.

You flicked through a variety of shows, ranging from cartoons to 4th Dimensional shit. But nothing grabbed your interest, you mostly just wanted to do something, not just sit around. You looked at the nintendo, perhaps you could play some games? But the idea quickly faded as you just weren't interested in it right now.

You got up and turned off the TV, putting the remote back. You even thought about eating, but you were just bored so there was no point.

You then decided to go nose around the house, no one was hone so it couldn't hurt right? You'd already nosed around in the main areas so you decided to go to Rick's room.

Ah what a genius you are.

Fucking nutcase.

Anyways you slopped off to his room, you wandered down the downstairs hall behind the stairs and quickly found the old farts room. You peeked inside, no one around, you looked around to make sure no one was around either, Jerry would have been to busy to notice anyway.

You stepped into the room and looked around, a messy bed, messy floors, his notes covered his walls, boxes were stacked upon each other filled with whatever Rick collected, his draws were slightly open and random clothing and paper falling down and more. You looked over the mans bed, questioning how he could sleep on a bed so low and so unsteady.

Even this bored you, you really had nothing catching your interest, even mischief was killing you.

You left the room, though before you did, you left a little surprise for Rick under his bed.

You left and trotted down the halls, finding your way to Jerry's man cave. Maybe you could hang out with him, he was like your dad after all.

You entered the room to see him sitting on a recliner chair watching some show about you had no clue, nor did you take any interest.

"Hey J" you rhyme, smiling at him. Jerry paused the show quickly and sat up smiling too. He waved pathetically but appreciated the nickname. You usually did this anyway, and he had a nickname for you too.

"Hey Mischief" he said, one of the best nicknames he'd come up with in a while, though he'd been calling you it for years. You usually caused mischief in the family, earning you the appropriate title.

You wandered over to Jerry, standing next to the recliner and looking at the TV. "What cha watching?"

"Nothing, what cha doing?" Jerry asked, brushing off his show. You raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"I'm just hanging out with my favourite dad"

Jerry's face went sick and tears filled his eyes at the thought.

"Awwww y/n!" Jerry got up and pulled you into a hug making you laugh, you swatted him away, pulling out of it.

"Alright sap king" you laughed, Jerry just rolled his eyes.

"Anyway what are really up too?" Jerry asked, knowing your mischievous ways. You shrugged with a slight smirk, you really wanted to cause some mischief right now.

"Uh-huh... okay-" Jerry eyes you but the two of you left to go to the kitchen to grab a drink. You chatted about some strange things and then about a job for Jerry.

"Yeah I found this job application" you explained, leaning over the kitchen's side as he got you both a drunk from the sink.

"No way really?!" He asked excitedly. "What about?"

"Its nothing fancy, just a couple of ads" you shrugged as if it was nothing, taking the water Jerry had poured out for you.

"Thank you y/n! Thank you thank you thank you!" Jerry jumped with joy as the two of you headed into the living room to watch TV. And seeing a way to cause mischief you jumped over the couch and slid right under where Jerry was about to sit.

"Y/n!"

"Jerry!"

Then when he went to sit next to you you just laid across the whole couch.

"Jerry I'm trying to watch TV!" You whined, pointing at the black screen. Jerry loomed at the TV to see if you actually were, but obviously you weren't, just pulling his leg. You burst out laughing and he mocked you.

"Ha ha! Very funny. Now move" he ordered, though it was in his own pathetic Jerry way.

"Nah, I'm quite comfortable here" you explained, placing the drink on the table and stretching out with your arms under your head like when someone was sunbathing.

"Oh really now?" Jerry asked, putting his drink down too. A slight teasing in his voice.

"Mhm! You should try this out- oh wait" you laughed in mockery, only joking around as not to hurt his feelings. But quickly your laughter turned slient as he fluttered his hands over your open armpits. Your eyes opened wide and you stared st the Jerry looking down at you, glaring at him.

You had closed your armpits now, looking a little silly on the couch having lost your confidence. Jerry noticed this and smirked, smiling as though he had no clue what was going on.

"Is everything okay?" He taunted. He was a dumbass, a pain in the ass, pathetic, but a great dad for the most part. He knew in every way to embarrass his kids and loved to do it together it was on purpose or just his pathetic ways.

You glared at him, staying in the same position.

"Jerry."

"Y/n?"

The smirk on his face only grew as he acted more and more stupid. He reached his hand down and squeezed your belly, making you jerk and almost fall off the sofa though you didnt due to him being there.

"Jeherry. Jerry dont" you ordered, though it partly sounded like pleading, your hidden laughter mixing with your words. Jerry only answered with a little squeeze in the centre of your belly making a dumb smile break through on your mouth before you quickly got rid of it.

"What's wong y/n?" Jerry teased in a babys voice. You always hated when he did that, making you giggle even more but trying to act tough you tried your hardest not to laugh.

"N-nothing. Move ya big ball sack!" You told him, pushing him out of your face, holding back giggles. You always sounded like such a baby when you giggled, especially nervously. Not like the strong independent wOmAn you are on missions who can fight and comprehend almost anything.

"Hehey! Watch it" Jerry laughed as he was pushed backwards. You chuckled as he fell backwards a little bit but stay stood up over you. He had a wide smirk on his mouth and you were doubting whether or not you should have caused mischief in the first place.

"Y/n?" He asked, stepping closer sl you couldn't run.

"W-what?" You stuttered, a bit nervous now.

"I have a question"

"I don't think I wanna hear it-" you muttered slightly, looking for a way of escapism.

"Please! Just one tiny little question." He begged as he crouched down, trying to hide his smirk. You never minded when Jerry tickled you, you didn't hate being tickled either, you actually enjoyed the memories but you hated the taunting, the taughtig was terrible. You'd go all ready and squeal, unable to talk from being flustered so much.

But you knew there was no escape from this.

"Jerrryyyyy" you begged silently.

"Pleaseeeeee?"

You sighed, looking down in defeat.

"What..."

"Y/n?"

"What Jerry!" You whined, pooking up into his eyes. Though it was a horrible mistake, full of mischief and taunting, a large smirk on his face.

His hands darted to your sides as he threw you back.

"Are you ticklish?" He knew the answer, darting his hands up your sides making you squeal suddenly and then giggle like a child as you were slammed into the couch. You desperately pushed at his hands as your face turned a light pink.

"Jeheherry! Nohoho" you giggled, pushing and wiggling out of his grip. He grabbed you though and threw you onto the couch slightly, you were a great fighter, slippery and incredible but you were light as a feather no matter what. Even Jerry could swoop you up for a quick moment.

He stood over you as his hands squeezed and dances over the skin, slowly making their way up your ribs making you kick out as you tried to hide tour laughter, clamming your mouth shut so no one would hear, though no one was home and everyone knew except Rick.

"MmMHMm!" You muffled and tried to compel your laughter, wiggling as Jerry straddled you between his legs, dancing his fingers up your ribs. Weak bitch in fighting but tickle fights? It was such a Jerry thing.

He even fir a quick moment brought a hand to your neck, light tickles causing you to tuck in as he brought it back down to your side and ribs. You pushed and pulled at his wrists but nothing worked. You were dying behind a clenched smile.

Jerry skillfully shot his hands into your armpits making you squeal extremely loud, almost rolling off the couch with giggly screeching laughter. It wasn't even your worst spot, you were just surprised.

You rolled off the couch and ran to the kitchen, standing over the counter so Jerry couldn't get you easily, and good thing too, you both heard a voice call out if everything was alright in there and Rick stood outside the garage door with his casual light blue shirt on and pants having working on something in the garage this whole time.

You turned around for a split second to see if Rick was actually there, Jerry detracted too. You quickly span around though and pointed a finger from him to Rick.

"HE CAN NEVER FIND OUT!" You yelled particularly loud, a slight bit out of breath from the attack. Your face was bright red by now and your hair a bit messy. Jerry was smiling wide and laughing at your reaction. Rick just gave it a weird ass look.

"What uurrp-" Rick questioned before being interrupted by his own burp. You only snapped your neck to look at him so he could see your bright red and flustered face.

"What the-"

"SHUT UP"

"She's really-" you snapped your head and glared at Jerry, screaming.

"SHUT UP JERRY!" You really never minded the tickles, but once more, having to watch someone let out your secret of being tickled? It only meant the other person would tickle you more. It was human. And embarrassing.

You didnt care if Rick knew, but you really did. You didnt wanna seem weak, or babish. You didn't want him to know you actually enjoyed the tournament, not that anyone did know. Still.

"FUCK YOU ALL" You yelled, walking out of the room, bright and flustered.

Rick gave you a look and then Jerry, Jerry put up a hand to talk.

"She's really-" he whispered slightly but you leaned back into the room and yelled at him to shut up.

"NO!"

[yikesharringrove]

how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.

(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕

The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.

He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.

“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.

The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.

“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.

“Billy Hargrove.”

“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.

They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.

“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.

The professor raised his eyebrow.

“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.

“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”

“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”

“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.

“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.

He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.

It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.

“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.

“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.

“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.

“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”

“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.

“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”

“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”

“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”

“When did you get into punk philosophy?”

“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”

Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.

“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.

“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”

“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.

“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”

“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.

“I think we could make something happen.”

They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.

There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.

“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.

Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.

Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.

He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.

“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.

“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”

“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.

“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”

“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”

“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.

Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.

“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.

“Why did you pick social work?”

“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”

“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.

“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”

“Can you, what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.

“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.

“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.

“So, was I right?”

“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.

“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.

“Yeah, I would really like that.”

[be-the-spark-flyboy]

Glitter On The Floor

Call It What You Want 4/?

Pairing: Med student!Poe x Reader (college AU)

A/N: I have an unusual ship going on in this dont come for me if you dont like it okay also I suck at writing summaries

Chapter summary: A new years party that brings more revelations than resolutions

Warning: little angst, drinking, swearing

Word count: ~3.2k

You never thought you’d ever be excited to attend a party but here you are checking and double checking your reflection in the full height mirror in Jessika’s room.

“Oh god, you look hot okay? Stop hogging the mirror,” She teases you, nudging you aside trying to perfect her eyeliner.

Oh, you look hot, alright, and you feel damn good too. Your cropped sweater top was thick enough to keep you warm and paired with the mini skirt and velvet thigh-highs boots, you feel damn fine in your all black ensemble.

Normally you would’ve opted to stay at home and watch the fireworks all by yourself at midnight from the rooftop. But after a lonely Christmas eating takeout and binge watching shows all by yourself, you just wanted to see you friends again. Rey and the boys were also attending, which made you feel a lot better about going. You had a good feeling about this.

No one was more excited at the prospect of you attending a party than Jessika. She’d basically went through your entire wardrobe to find you something appropriate to wear, then ended up lending you her sequined mini skirt because your all black theme was too gloomy for new years.

“Our ride will be here in five minutes and then we’re gonna find you someone to make-out with at midnight,” Jessika wiggles her eyebrows at you suggestively and you roll your eyes, “Unless, you’d rather make-out with a particular med student you can’t shut up about instead, huh?�� She’d been teasing the hell out of you about Poe since you told her about the hot stranger, who saw you fall down the stairs, who also happened to be a friend of a friend who was an adorable med student, dog dad and also afraid of ghosts-

Okay maybe you did talk about him slightly more than anyone else. But that didn’t mean anything did it? “Poe is just my friend, Jess,” You shove at her, sighing in frustration. “And he has a girlfriend,”

“But don’t his friends hate her? I’m sure if you ask, they’d help you break them up and set you up with Poe,” she says, drawing indignant gasp from you.

“Jessika Pava, since when did you start giving out ideas to ruin peoples’ lives?”

“I’m not trying to ruin lives,” She grabs you by your shoulders, bringing you to look at her, features set in a serious frown. You wonder if she was actually being serious for once in her life. “I just want to see you happy, with the man you love,”

Nope, not serious for once. You slap her hands away and she guffaws at your exasperated groan, “God, who said anything about love?”

“So you do like him though, right?” you roll your eyes again, walking away from her to collect you purse from your room. “You didn’t deny it!” You hear her squawk from behind you.

—-

The party was already in full swing when you arrive. Jessika drags you along with her right away to introduce her boyfriend to you for the first time. She had only been dating Snap Wexley for around three months now, but she seemed to really like him.

Snap was a nice person. He was warm and welcomed you into his residence with a huge smile. His apartment was a two storey duplex with a ridiculous amount of patio space. It seemed everyone in your college were filthy rich, except you.

The entire place is crowded, music blaring from the speakers and people dressed in sparkling attires, milling around. Thankfully, you recognize almost no one, though it seemed like Snap had invited almost half of the entire campus.

Jessika loops her arm around yours, pulling you along into the house. You see Rey excitedly waving you over from the living room and you happily tackle her and Finn in a hug.

Jessika gels right in with the two of them although this was the first time they got to meet. Extroverts. The night goes on as both Finn and Rey animatedly recount their holiday stories and in no time, the four of you are laughing at Finn’s reenactment of how his cousin almost broke the Christmas tree in half, trying to decorate it.

“Where’s Poe?” You ask, noticing the absence of the third member of their little clique. Not like you were searching for him or anything.

Rey shrugs, “He should be here soon, he said he was about leave the house,” then her attention shifts to behind you, “Oh look, he’s here,” Rey motions.

You see him from across the room and your breath catches at the sight of him. Dressed in a navy blue button up tucked into his dark jeans with the sleeves rolled up, he looks handsome as ever, with an arm around his girlfriend’s waist. Your chest tightens for an entire different reason at the sight.

Then the entire conversation you had with Jessika earlier on plays in your head. You couldn’t possibly like Poe right? He was just your friend.

They look good together, like some celebrity couple that just stepped out of a magazine. Sarah’s dressed in a burgundy cocktail dress that fits her like a glove, elegantly coiffed curls sits on her shoulders, not a hair out of place. Something like jealousy curdles in your stomach and you stomp it out before it grows into something ugly. But not before it spoils your mood entirely.

“Urgh, he’s with that witch,” Finn scoffs beside you. You have no idea why Finn hates Poe’s girlfriend so much. He really isn’t the type to just be mean to people for no reason and it also confuses you to no end that Rey seems to agree with him. Not that it was any of your concern, anyways. So you brush it off.

You make the mistake of turning back to the pair just in time as Sarah pulls Poe in for a kiss. You quickly avert your gaze elsewhere. The excitement you felt since morning completely drains out of you. Suddenly, the last place you want to be in was anywhere surrounded with people.

“I’m going to get something to drink,” You inform Jessika, unhooking your arms from her. You break away from your small group without another word, before she even gets the chance to react.

—-

Poe never thought he’d ever feel this miserable around people. Because these weren’t his people. He wanted to run to where his childhood friends were standing as soon as he had caught sight of them. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do that. He was to busy being talked at by people he barely knew. This was the last place he ever wanted to be.

But Poe keeps up the pretense of a happy couple and feigns through the crowd convincingly enough to not invoke the wrath of the woman beside him. Poe follows Sarah, steering away from the corner where he spotted his friends. Having Finn and Sarah in the vicinity was just a recipe for disaster. He had only made that mistake once.

Poe finds you weaving through the crowd, hurriedly moving past everyone with a singular destination in mind. And you look...wow.

Poe remotely registers that he shouldn’t be ogling you from afar with his girlfriend right beside him. Despite that, he just can’t seem to tear his eyes away from your figure until you disappear around the corner.

Your outfit complements your figure just right, and your boots- Shit. He catches himself wondering how soft your thighs would feel under his fingertips.

Shut the fuck up, Dameron! He scolds himself, forcing his thoughts back to the present. He really shouldn’t be thinking about you like that.

He wonders how far his imagination would go if he didn’t try to stop it. No. He really shouldn’t. A tug on his arm brings him back to reality as he gets dragged along to patio, half against his will.

—-

“Shit, shit, shit,” you curse as the liquid sloshes out of the cup spilling onto the table.

“Are you always this clumsy?” You yelp as a tall figure materializes behind you, almost making you drop the cup. “Relax, its just me,” Ben Solo passes you a roll of kitchen towel for the mess.

You had managed to somewhat befriend Ben over the course of two weeks while the two of you worked on your assignment together. He wasn’t bad company. 

“How long have you been standing there?” You mop up the beer on the table, “And how did I not see you?”

“Lost in thought?” he shifts back to his previous position, perfectly blending in with the wall painted black. Huh, no wonder you didn’t notice him.

“Um, no,” you lie. “Who are you hiding from?”

“People, in general.” He replies like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. But of course, you understand.

You hear bright laughter before you see a head of blonde hair walk towards the kitchen. Her eyes light up in recognition when she sees you standing there, “Hey, it’s you! We have that class together, right?” You try your best to make small talk but thankfully Phasma was chatty enough for it to not feel awkward while she collects her drink.

She turns to leave and then startles when she sees Ben standing against the wall, casually sipping on his beer. You’re pretty sure he didn’t mean to position himself like a Halloween decoration meant to sneak up and scare everyone, but you wouldn’t put it past him to do just that.

“Oh hey, Solo. Didn’t see you there,” She quickly recovers, sending him a bashful smile.

“Hey, Phasma,” Ben replies, barely meeting her gaze and shifting on his foot, cheeks dusting pink as she brushes past him. Your eyes widen when you realize what just happened.

“Oh my god, Ben, do you like her?” You whisper-shout at him once you’re sure she’s out of earshot.

“What? No, what are you talking about?” He tries to act nonchalant but the pink in his cheeks turns to a full blown scarlet, giving him away.

“Is that why you’re hiding in the kitchen?” You tease him. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,”

“Who are you hiding from?” He throws back at you.

“I’m not hiding,” it was your turn to act nonchalant.

“Really? Then why are you here?” He crosses his arm, scepticism evident in his tone.

“To get a drink,” you raise your beer as if to prove your point.

“Oh so you’re gonna leave now, right?” He raised an eyebrow at you, not buying your excuse.

“What? Is this your kitchen now?” Leaning on the counter, you roll your eyes, relenting. “Fine, I’m hiding. Let’s not talk about this anymore,”

---

“I don’t know, she seemed a little down all of a sudden,” Finn leans against the patio parapet, facing Rey. Raucous laughter bursts through the quite night from the group gathered on the other side of the patio.

You had disappeared after telling them you were ‘going to get a drink’ and Jessika had informed Rey that you were still in the kitchen only minutes earlier. Rey couldn’t help but wonder if there was something going on with you. 

“Maybe she’s just tired, Rey,” Finn pulls her into his embrace, trying to comfort her. Rey worries to much about other people. It was just in her nature to try and take care of everyone she could and Finn loves her for that. But sometimes it also causes her more stress than she needs.

Rey rests her head on his shoulder, “Maybe,” You seemed pretty pumped to be hanging out with all of them, why did you deflate so suddenly? 

“Oh my god,” She pulls away from the embrace, looking at Finn in shock from her sudden realization, while Finn watches her, confused about what caused her outburst. “I think she likes Poe!” Finn continues staring at Rey in confusion, unsure how she came to that conclusion. “Think about it! She was fine until Poe came waltzing in with his girlfriend,” she gestures frantically to the pair on the other side of the patio, Sarah practically draped across Poe, the two of them looking like the embodiment of an ideal couple. Only in the outside.

“Oh... OH,” Finn exclaims when it finally hit him. “Is she jealous? I don’t know, maybe hurt?”

“If only he wasn’t with her,” Rey couldn’t keep the malice out of her tone at the mention of Sarah. “We can’t even do anything about it now,”

“I’m really gonna kick Poe the next time I get a chance.” Finn groans. Finn really would’ve loved to meddle with his best friend’s life, but in this scenario it would only make things more complicated. But the drama was so tempting.

“Kick me for what?” Poe’s voice startles the both of them as they swivel around to look at him. How the hell did he walk across so quickly?

“Heyyy, Poe, didn’t see you there,” Rey forces a chuckle from herself, trying not to look too suspicious.

“Yeah! Hey, Poe,” Finn adds lamely.

Poe narrows his eyes at the two of them acting all dubious. It was never a good sign. He’s been on the receiving end of way too many of their pranks to not know what that look meant. He sighs, thinking, what’s one more prank in the joke that is his life right now?

---

“So... Phasma, huh?” You start again, determined to get something out of the brooding man beside you. If you’re going to spend the rest of the night in the kitchen, you might as well try to get entertainment out of your fellow anti-social buddy.

“I thought we weren’t talking about that anymore,” he mumbles. You grumble something about him being no fun under your breath. “I’ll tell you if you tell me,” he bargains with you.

You contemplate your choices. Surely it wouldn’t do any harm telling Ben about Poe right? “Okay, fine,” one advantage of taking refuge in the kitchen was that you had a free flow of drinks. You were on your third cup of whatever was in the punch bowl and feeling slightly tipsy. “There’s this guy I kinda sorta like, but he’s also my friend,”

“Why don’t you just talk to him if you’re friends?” Ben questions you.

“He’s here with his girlfriend,”

“Oh,” He winces as you nod your head in agreement.

“My turn. Why don’t you talk to Phasma?”

“I don’t want to?” He answers you, unsure, more like question instead.

“You’re just scared, aren’t you?” It was pretty obvious. Fear was the reason so many people held back from doing what they want.

Ben sighs heavily before turning to you, lowering his voice a little more “I just don’t wanna screw this up, okay? I really like her and I don’t know how to talk to her,”

“So you’d rather not try?” Ben just shrugs. “I think you should ask her out,” you give him your opinion. “Okay consider this. The worse thing that could happen is that things between you two remains the same. But if you try, at least you’d know,” 

“The worst thing that could happen is that she throws her beer in my face infront of everyone,” You couldn’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you from the picture he paints. “But I get where you’re coming from,”

“Okay, maybe don’t immediately ask her out. Just chat with her a little, first.” You reach up to pat him on the shoulder, “Whenever you’re ready,”

“Wait, right now?” He whips his head around to look at you, alarmed at the prospect.

“Then when? After your graduation?” You sass. Ben takes a deep breath steeling himself.

“Okay,” He pushes himself off the counter, smoothing down his shirt, then his hair. He takes a step forward, then turns back to you, “Do I look okay?”

You give him a reassuring smile, poor boy was so nervous. “You look great, Ben,”

He takes another step forward then immediately propels backwards again, turning to you, “What if I get rejected?”

“Then we’ll ditch the party and get greasy pizza from that shop around the corner,” you promise him, earning a grateful smile from him.

Another step forward and he turns back, again. “What if-”

“Oh god, Ben just go!”

“Okay, fine fine,”

—-

You carefully position yourself in the kitchen so that you’d still have a view of what was going on in the living room but still be hidden from sight. It’s been a few minutes since Ben had gone on his mission to ask his crush out.

As the clock strikes closer to midnight, the crowd gravitates towards the patio to watch the fireworks. You follow, staying at the back of the crowd. The whole place was packed.

You briefly wonder if you could just pick up your coat and leave. You could take a nice long walk back to your apartment and curl up with a book and mug of tea. You had promised Jessika you’d stay, but you were also tempted to leave. She was already in her boyfriend’s care anyways.

You can clearly see Ben’s tall figure sticking out in the crowd. It’s not easy to miss him. Surprisingly, he spots you easily in the dark as well. He sends you a discreet thumbs up and you respond with no lack of enthusiasm on your part. At least one of you were having a good time. Good for him.

You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to keep yourself protected from the cold. But it finds a way to your bones anyways. It seems it was your curse to spend all your time all by yourself, year after year. You couldn’t remember the last time you had your family around you, opening Christmas presents together in the morning and watching the fireworks on New Year’s Eve. Although this time was kind of your fault. You could’ve still hung out with Rey or Jess, but you really didn’t feel like it.

Well, if this was what the rest of your life was going to be like, then you’ve already had enough practice for it.

—-

Poe watches the firework being set off in the distance. The light and the colours painting itself across the night sky, ebbing and flowing like waves. One disappears and another one explodes, sending a different shade shining through the sky.

From his vantage point, he could clearly see Finn and Rey, arms encasing each other, giggling at something. So content to just be in each other’s company. He wants that so much it aches.

Sarah’s arms around his feels like lead, weighing him down, and he wishes it were someone else’s. Finn was right. He shouldn’t have let himself be treated like he was expendable.

Maybe in this new year he’d finally let go of his fear and look for someone who actually loves him. In this new year Poe decides he deserves better.

—-

The Dameron Taglist (open):

@writefightandflightclub @arkofblake @yougottakeeponkeepinon @multifandomlife22 @skymerons @smol-peter-parker @rae-rae-patcha @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @spider-starry @hkmultifandom @cloud-leader @elmoakepoke @staringmoony @valhallavalkyrie9 @the-cry-of-youth @liadamerondjarin @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @takemepedropascal

[nad-zeta]

Match up ~(˘▾˘~)

Hi I’d like an Ikevamp matchup! (This is my first time doing this but oof) i’m a shy(at first) brown(Filipino to be exact) girl that’s a lil on the chubby side, Virgo, messy short hair, 149 cm(short-), and an INFJ T and a Ravenclaw. I’ve also got really fat legs and as much as i like them some dont :”) i like to read books than listen to people read them aloud cuz I’m a visual learner. I like writing bc it helps me get all these ideas out of my head. But i’m really unorganized so i never really finished anything other than a few poems and one horror short story. I enjoy cracking a good joke for anyone to laugh at and am really affectionate with my loved ones. I draw sometimes too but they’re not that good :> so my hobbies are:writing(mainly), drawing. I love learning about new stuff that’s not really included in school bc it’s not one of my biggest priorities to me lmao. I also really like studying whilst listening to music. But unto my dislikes, i really dont like injustice for other people and have this belief in me(i belive everyone is equal). I hate loud noises (eg. rain, or a truck) it messes with me more than my hair lol. I don’t like people insulting me in a more meaningful sense, meaning im not hurt if anyone curses at me but if it’s a little more meaningful then that hits me hard. Most people think im insensitive but i get hurt too ya know. But i always welcome critique even if it doesnt seem so. I flirt sometimes with my friends cuz thats how much i love them ig. I can play the ukulele but im not too fond on playing instruments so i ight sing instead of both. Anyway, i hope that’s enough. Message me if it wasn’t and i’ll add more! Thanks!

 Hi hi, love! ❤🥰Thank you so much for the request! Ooooh your first match-up, how exciting! I hope I can live up to your expectations. 🦋🥰☀️Anyways sorry for the long wait and I truly hope you enjoy. Hope you have a super good day!❤🥰  @la-liar​

So I match you with…………… Mozart

So the first time the two of you interact, it was basically silence. Both of you cuties were too shy and reserved to speak to each other. That is basically how it was for the first few weeks of your stay at the mansion. 

You were rather shy, so you kept mostly to yourself spending all your time in the library, reading and writing. But that all changed one day when you discovered the music room. 

You had decided on a whim to explore the mansion a bit and stumbled upon a pristine music room. You made your way inside and smiled as you spotted a ukulele in the corner of the room. You simply couldn’t help yourself, as you picked up the instrument and started to play. Closing your eyes as you played, you started to sing along to the familiar tune.

At that moment, Mozart had walked past his beloved music room. He had stepped out for a moment, only to get himself a freshly brewed cup of hot chocolate before continuing to compose his newest piece. The second he heard the sound of an instrument coming from his beloved music room he sighed internally. He slammed open the door and froze in his tracts when he spotted you sitting on the floor in the corner of the room absorbed by the music you were producing. He had every intention of scolding you, but all that dissipated as the soft, soothing tones of your voice wash over him like a gentle ocean wave. He found himself calm and at peace for once in his life. 

Inspired by the tune you were singing, he sat down at the grand piano and started playing along. The second the first note of the piano echoed off the walls of the room you opened your eyes in shock, not realizing someone had come in midway through your song. You profusely apologized to the man and left before he could say anything.

For the rest of the day Mozart was stuck, he couldn’t get that song you were singing out of his head. He was starting to get frustrated as thoughts of you were plaguing his mind. That night he stormed up to your room, took you by the hand and guided you back to the music room where he handed you the ukulele, “Play.” His words were blunt and his violet eyes were sharp and determined. You stared up at the man in confusion as he sat down at the grand piano, waiting for you to start the song. You sighed sitting down next to him on the bench and softly started strumming the strings. Mozart couldn’t keep the faint smile from forming on his face at the sound of the perfect harmony and melody the two of you produced together. Since that night you were the only other person, other than Sebastian permitted to enter into the music room whenever you wanted.

Every day since, you would wander into the room as Mozart would play the soothing melodies. You loved to study while listening to music. So every day you would bring your books to the music room as Mozart played and just sit and read or write, as Mozart’s symphonies would echo in the background. Although the white-haired man would never admit it, he very much enjoyed your company. Unlike the rest of the residents, you were quiet and soft-spoken, and you didn’t irritate him like the rest of his housemates. 

Often during the afternoons, when Mozart would take a break from playing, he would walk over the corner of the room that you would occupy and just stare down at you. He would usually in his classical tsundere roundabout way, ask you if you wanted to grab lunch with him. You honestly had to smile at his clumsily blunt tone and the dust of pink that would grace his features.

The two of you would sit under the shade of a tree and chat for hours and hours about the most random of topics. You had quickly come to realize that the brutal way in which Mozart spoke, was just a front to cover up his true feelings. Thus you never minded the meaningless insults that he would occasionally throw your way. Cause they were just that meaningless. If anything, the way he would say them with that slight smile dancing across his lips, they were probably meant as his own type of endearments towards you.

Both of you cuties often get so absorbed in your daydreams that during your lunchtime picnic, that you can be found just staring into space. Mozart’s mind would be occupied with the latest songs that he would like to compose, and your mind would be drifting off, thinking about the latest topic that you have learned about or read. Its actually pretty hilarious, especially when the two of you are at the dinner table and Arthur is chatting away to the two of you, while both of you would be off in dreamland. It’s only when Arthur waves a hand in front of your eyes that both of you come back to reality. During these times, you and Mozart usually lock eyes and laugh, as it had become a somewhat, inside joke between the two of you.

You often flirted with the man, especially after the two of you had started to become friends. You loved the way his cheeks would get dusted in a light pink shade matching his eyes perfectly. And you can’t help but laugh whenever he stutters a little insult in response. Although don’t get me wrong, he is the only person who can give you small insult endearments. Anyone else who dare utter one bad thing about you, will face Mozart’s scorn. 

Like one time the two of you went to the bookshop to browse together, when some dodge man came up to you and started telling you that a woman shouldn’t be in a book shop and that the book you were holding was too advanced for you. Cue Mozart practically tearing apart the man with his sharp gaze. Mozart’s voice boomed in the bookshop like a crack of a whip, and by the time he was done giving the man a verbal smackdown, the dodgy fellow couldn’t leave the shop quick enough. 

Just then violet eyes met your dark brown ones, as Mozart gave you the most tender look and asked in a soft tone if you were okay. He could see the sadness in your eyes, and he knew even though you put up a tough front, you were also rather sensitive deep down. He gave you a tight hug and kissed your forehead as he told you not to ponder on the man’s hurtful words. “Mein Liebe, don’t let that man’s mindless babble bother you.” He then took you by the hand and lead you to a coffee shop where he bought the two of you some hot chocolate. And the two of you spent the rest of the afternoon chatting away.

It wasn’t clear exactly when you and Mozart transitioned from friendship into a relationship, but regardless you were the only person privileged enough to see this man’s soft side. And boy oh boy was his smile enough to make your heart melt. Mozart is actually a massive softie under his harsh words, and loves to shower you in affection. He knows you hate loud noises, so he is always sure to, take you the town route with the least amount of people and noises. And you best be sure he will be by your side to soothe you in a split second during any type of thunderstorms

He never knew just how much you hated loud noises like thunderstorms until one night. It was the dead of night, and the sky was littered with dark stormy clouds and flashes of lightning. You woke up abruptly to the loud rumble of thunder that followed a flash of light. You let out a loud squeak as you pulled your blanket over your head, in an attempt to block out the noise. By the second flash and roars of thunder, you were on your feet making your way to Mozart’s room. 

You gently pushed open the door, when yet another loud crack of thunder and lightning could be heard shaking the mansion’s walls. Mozart had no time to react, as all he heard was the patter of your bare feet on the wooden floor, and then the weight of a warm body diving onto his bed. He cracked open an eye and was shocked to see the expression of dread on your tear-stained face. He wasted no time at all in pulling you beneath the covers into his warm embrace and he pressed your face to his warm chest. He gently traced soothing circles on your back, while he tenderly sang you a soft lullaby to coax you into sleep. The noise of thunder and lightning faded into the background, as you focus on the feeling of Mozart’s fingertips dancing across your skin and his soft, soothing voice. 

Since then, at any sign of a storm, Mozart would be sure to drop everything and seek you out. He would usually wrap the two of you in a fluffy blankie, and he just holds you tight in his arms. Sometimes he would play the piano to soothe your anxiety, while other times he will just sing to you.

Mozart absolutely loves your sense of humour, and his stony features will always crack with a slither of a smile whenever you make a joke. Bonus points if you actually get him to laugh. He will legit huff out in laughter, while shyly hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you continue to crack hilarious jokes. Anyone privileged enough to see this rare scene unfolds is very lucky indeed, as Mozart’s smile and laughter is like the sun coming out after a very long stormy week. It is bright and filled with warmth, and reserved for your eyes only.

Even though you have a tendency to never really finish writing, Mozart will insist you show him any of the pieces that you do manage to complete. He loves the way your words flow on paper, and it down right inspires him to write a few songs to accompany your stories. He also beams with pride whenever you draw him a cute little scene on his sheet music. He will be sure to keep that page with your doodle safe for all eternity, cause he just loves them so much. 

The two of you cuties are the most affectionate couple around, behind closed doors of course as Mozart might just die from embarrassment if the two of you engage in any sort of PDA. He loves it when you sit beside him and rest your head on his shoulder as he plays you the newest ballad of his love. You are the love of his life, and he will spend every day of his existence loving you. He loves to give you cute little Eskimo and butterfly kisses whenever the two of you meet in the hallway.

You best be sure this man will spend every free moment he can get hugging and cuddling you. Often the two of you cuties will simply be spending a quiet afternoon in the music room together, nestled in each others arms while drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate, listening to the pitter patter of the rain outside. 

Other potential matches……………. Dazai

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have the best day. 🦋☀️❤

[transrightsjimin]

@trespassers-will​ ok here we go

i also watched the various videos hidden inside each photo and the videos that were posted today as well and took notes too hjfhk

1. hobi’s room

okay so i thought i would rank jin’s room first but then i saw hobi’s room and i saw that couch nd went OMG okay thats no.1!! i love this interior so so much, like i normally hate orange and blue as a combination but this seems almost more like red and blue and it really reminds me of hopeworld. there’s many pop art-like graphic design posters adorning the walls, showing lines like ‘hope‘, ‘sweet’ and ‘my way‘. the shoes on the closet(?) behind him were disaplayed bc those are the colours we wears the most in his fashion. and then there’s this iconic inflatable clear pink couch and him wearing a pink robe and just GOD what a mood, i want a room like this!! the chair reminds me a lot of the type of fun quirky furniture i fantasized about and incorporated into my drawings as a kid when i was around 8-11, probably because i got inspired by stuff like totally spies and polly pocket, which had all these designs clearly inspired by 60s and 70s space age design but more in pink and purple i guess.

also i hate the search for such stills bc even w safe search on, you still have godawful f3tish drawings depicting those kids from totally spies ending up in search results and it’s disgusting. but yeah it reminded me of that

when i say polly pocket, i particularly mean this quik-clik (magnetic clothes and hair) era in 2005 which was what i had some stuff from. i had that couch / movie night! set and the pool and that

also i just really like hobi’s room because with all the posters and cabinets and clothing items laid out and a carpet and fun colours and whatnot, it really feels like an actual room you could live in, unlike any of the other rooms which feel very empty or too minimalist to me. but YEAH hobi’s room is my fav, i love the way a fuller room feels more cozy and habitable and floaties and inflatable floaties are AMAZING

2. jin’s room

jin’s room is so prettyyyy!! jins explanation of the room was very uhm confident and funny but i love that. the couch looks like a lilac shell, which makes sense as everything else looks very pearlescent. i really love cool-toned pastels like lilac, powder / baby blue, periwinkle and everything just looks like it’s part of a waiting hall for mermaids or something. there’s also gems in it which took me a while to realize bc i only noticed the glass chandelier and lamp but then i saw them in his hand nd on the table. i dont rly care abt gems / jewels but overall i just love how this whole room speaks ‘pretty‘ to me. robes are always a plus. as i was writing this, i was also reminded of hair extension mullet jin with iridescent clothing and all and that is actually my all time fav photoshoot / look of him. him saying he’s the gem of the room makes sense too as he’s sitting in the shell like a pearl. jin pretty pretty mermaid

ok from here on its getting harder bc place 3-8 is not so much abt which is nicer but which one actually makes me feel any emotion bc i just feel too exhausted for excitement over comebacks or anything really. also minimalism doesnt make me feel anything either. but ill try

3. jungkook’s room

ok ive been staring at a screen w few sleep for too long so ill try to go through my ranking faster bc ive been working on this post for too long, also partially bc i cant focus nd partially bc theres some i just rly dont feel much for but i feel bad for ranking one lower than the other or ranking smth higher when ive talked to someone who dislikes a room i like dghkfdf

but yeah i like jungkooks room! its a very intense blue tht might make you depressed if youre in it too long but again i love how theres multiple items stacked in the bg and intense blue lights, and the ceiling looks like it has soundproof padding. its like youre in a recording studio or at some vaguely nostalgic party of a friend of my mom, who had plants in her home nd rock music nd the tv on and was smoking nd it was a bit dark and mysterious. i like it, it intrigues me a bit nd makes me miss going to concerts. also this pic rly just reminds me of 2008-2010 pop music videos where theres always a party and dj and people are wearing sunglasses or something and theres a dance break at the end

4. yoongi’s room

also blue!! the first time i saw this pic it was bc someone sent it to me to say how ugly they thought the decoration / editing looked w the metallic dripping stuff from the couch and whatnot but i kinda like it :( i like his velvety clothing and the light blue in the rest of the room is really pretty. i like mirror themes when done well nd i like how the reflectiveness shows also in the metallic dripping nd metallic spheres and the mirror hes standing on nd the way light reflects on his clothes and from the lamp. only the lamp feels a bit too much like a contemporary art installation for me nd his room already is a bit too empty for my liking nd i had the feeling when i watched the vid of him walking through the room that there was not much to interact w in the room like it was a bit dull. his voice in the explanation videos made it feel more like a place of peace / solitude rather than boredom or loneliness though.

5. namjoon’s room

ehh i think place 5, 6 and 7 are interchangable at this point. namjoon woulve ranked lowest but i listened to his explanation videos and saw him goof around in today’s video and appreciated it a bit more. the room still looks quite minimalist and not super comfortable, like youre not allowed to touch anything there (which is the same for jin i guess but i dont view that as smth meant to look like a living room). i do like how the wood theme is present throughout each wall nd in various items and w the windows nd use of space it feels a bit inspired by japanese interior design and that that is inspired by his bonsai tree nd love for woodwork, but im not sure. i was actually quite shocked some of his explanations were so short. so yeah i place this 5th bc i like how coherent the theme is but it doesnt feel cozy or inviting nd still very cold to me, maybe bc it looks too expensive or minimalistic in terms of colours.

6. jimin’s room

i like the flowers but also i dont like tiny flowers nd they tend to be the stinkier ones. i kind of like how jimins room feels the most like a grandma one w all the flowers nd offwhite and the lamp and beige i think? but the colours are so muted and if anything it feels like a place for a bridal photoshoot nd im just so bored. i love jimin nd feel bad for ranking a room he curated so low but it rly creates no serotonine in my brain, just melatonine bc im sleepy. i like how the room i obviously quite packed w stuff, but then the washed out colours make everything still look very bleak. hmm. i do like how the flowers reach outside the borders unlike w any of the others’ photos. im about to fall asleep so let me quickly finish this post

7. tae’s room

the picture in the middle behind him is interesting nd i dont know how he made that, nd i do like how he described his room as a place where there would always be enough food for visitors. i know it’s meant to communicate some highbrow, artsy vibe but w the weird editing and lightning nothing looks real in the room he’s in (including himself, like it doesnt even look like hes in the room) and it just looks kitschy instead of artsy. yeah i dont gravitate towards this one, it’s like deep-fried and desaturated at the same time nd i tend to avoid looking at it subconsciously

8. the first room photo

i first posted a long description here why but it disappeared but in short. this photo evokes no emotional response to me other than think of kind of crappy hotel rooms i was in w my parents while on vacation nd we slept in the same room or something nd the beds were awful nd made my moms chronic pain worse. the clothing is very boring and so r the colours of the room. i know bangtan curated stuff but its still the least interesting photo to me, maybe im too depressed to feel anything idk

im sorry this was prob very boring TT_TT i tried my best to make a ranking but i rly dont know nor care as much as i would want to

[jawnjendes]

girl, you’re trouble | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

AN: i dont love the title but whatever i guess!! let me know ur thots, Thots! ALSO theres a bit of Spanish in this (surprise, the goth gf is actually mexican) so get ur fuckin translators out

masterlist | series playlist

I woke up alone in bed, but I wasn’t alone in the apartment. Just outside the bedroom, in the living room, I heard the sounds of Shawn singing and playing guitar. A smile appeared on my tired face. It’s been a while since I heard that pretty voice. It took me a minute to process what exactly he was belting out, but it must have been new. I’ve heard all of his songs, but this one was unfamiliar to me.

“Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in

Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can’t

It isn’t in my blood”

With a heavy sigh, I reached for my phone on the nightstand. However, as soon as I extended my arm and tried to stretch, I felt the minor sting of my incisions. I groaned and remained lying where I was, and I waited for Shawn to get all his sad boi feelings out. Good thing I loved hearing him sing.

“Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing

I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something

I could take to easy my mind, slowly”

Okay, that was a direct hit to the feelings I tried so hard to keep tied up in a small box in the back of my mind. I felt small and helpless all over again in a matter of seconds. I had to lie on this bed and stare at the ceiling while I waited for my boyfriend to come and help me sit up. I had to depend on someone else to get by, and I never experienced that. I needed help, and I hated it. I hated being so vulnerable. Crazy how his words could drastically change my mood. And I literally just woke up.

Out of sheer spite (to whom, I don’t know), I dug my elbows into the mattress and attempted to pick up my head and shoulders. I felt the strain below my belly button, where the biggest incision was located, but I still tried to sit up on my own. Then, a sharp pain went through where I was cut into, and I groaned through gritted teeth. I dropped my head back and took a deep breath. I can do this.

Shawn’s guitar playing suddenly stopped. “Honey?”

Okay, I can’t do this.

I took another deep breath and tried to erase the frustration from my face as the door to the room opened. Shawn dashed inside and approached me.

“Are you okay? What happened?” he asked, looking up and down at my body like he was expecting me to be bleeding.

“Nothing, I was just trying to sit up,” I replied monotonously.

“Well, why didn’t you call me? I was just right outside the door.” Without even asking, he leaned down to wrap an arm around my back and moved me into a sitting up position. I felt a bit stupid.

I decided to change the subject. “Was that a new song I heard?”

“Yeah, something that hit all of a sudden,” he said. “What’d you think?”

Carefully, I shifted so my legs hung over the edge of the mattress. “I liked it a lot. I was happy to hear you sing again.”

Now I was able to reach for my phone on the nightstand. I had a new text from my mom, saying that she and my dad landed in Toronto. A deep pit formed in my stomach.

“My parents are in the city,” I said, my eyes widening.

Shawn didn’t reciprocate my nerves. “That’s great! Do they need a ride from the airport?”

“No!” I answered too quickly. “Uh… If you pick them up and I’m not there, they’ll be upset that I didn’t personally welcome them here. And if I do go with you, they’ll freak out because I’m not taking better care of myself post-surgery. Just let them get a Lyft.”

“Okay, then…”

For the first time in weeks, I got myself ready. Yeah, I was in the hospital for a week and a half, but exams season was prior to that event. I had been looking raggedy for a while now. My face was a little sunken in from the dramatic weight drop I experienced from my diet, but I didn’t look Dead dead. I brushed my teeth and straightened my hair, and I felt good about it. Plus, I was glad to discover I still had the skill to almost effortlessly draw on inner and outer wings on my eyes. I mean, I had one eye done successfully...

Shawn was watching me in the bathroom, leaning against the doorway with a smile on his face. I pretended to be too busy drawing on my other wing to acknowledge him for about five seconds. The pressure was a bit much.

“Can I help you, my dear?” I asked, finally drawing the outline of my wing.

“You just look so pretty,” he said mindlessly. “And you’re so good at putting on makeup.”

I chuckled. “It’s just eyeliner.”

Then the subject changed. “So… I know I’ve asked, but I still don’t know the answer. What are your parents like?”

I never knew how to answer a question like that without sounding like an ungrateful child. “Um… my mom’s an Aries and my dad is an Aquarius…”

“Babe.”

“My mom’s name is Lucy, and my dad’s name is Ed,” I tried again. “They’ll talk to each other in Spanish if they don’t want people around them to know what they’re saying. A lot of people say I’m a mix of both of them. Uh, they’re swayed by actions and not words. They know you make me happy, so they should be nice.”

“Should?” Shawn repeated. “Uh, okay. Noted. My parents and sister are coming over too. Like, a little bit later. So it’ll be a big happy family time.”

“Fun!”

Oh god. If there was anything in my body, I’d shit myself.

For once, the two of us were dressed in something other than pajamas. I mean, I still had on black sweats, but I had on my black long sleeve with a rose embroidered on the chest. It was nicer than a t-shirt, in my opinion. Plus, it went well with Shawn’s black floral button up and black jeans. His outfit was a bit more colorful, but I was a little giddy that we had an unplanned theme going on.

My parents came over first. I heard the knock on the door and made tense eye contact with my boyfriend. Then, I remembered one last bit to tell him.

“Oh, uh… my father doesn’t appreciate names like Gomez Addams, Alice Cooper, Gene Simmons… y’know what I mean?” I said, snaking my arm around Shawn’s waist so we could walk to the front door.

“Why would I call him that?” he asked, confused.

“It’s just his… aesthetic? Appearance? He’s serious about it, and he doesn’t like people poking fun at it, even if it’s not malicious. Tell that to your family too.”

Shawn nodded, but he still seemed confused. I would have explained more, but another well-timed knock on the door distracted me.

“You can just wait on the couch if you want,” he told me as we strolled through the hallway.

“No, I don’t want you facing them alone.”

It’s cute how he thought I was joking. But I was not leaving him alone as long as my parents were here.

“Oh!” I interjected. “One more thing! Do not mention my birth control or my Prozac. They’ll flip their shit if they find out!”

“Shit, okay…”

When we got to the door, I answered. My mother practically screamed.

“Mija! Mi chiquita!” She hugged me around the shoulders, causing the fuzz from her fluffy pink coat to get in my mouth. For once, she was able to reach my shoulders because she was wearing sparkly, silver wedges.

She leaned back and smiled at me, tears welling up in her dark brown eyes. My mom didn’t exactly look young for her age, but she certainly dressed like it. Under her pink coat, she had a lavender dress on and white tights. Not only that, she had dyed her hair a lighter brown in the time that I had been away from home. It was a surprise, but it suited her.

“Love the hair,” I told her with a smile.

She kissed me on the cheek, leaving behind a pink lip stain. “Thank you, mija. Your hair has gotten really long! And you’ve lost weight!”

There it is.

My father was clad in a black leather jacket, a grey t-shirt and black jeans. He had on a black beanie, which covered his full head of dark hair. Last time I saw him, he was clean shaven, but now he had a decent amount of scruff on his chin. He was as tall as Shawn, but way less muscular. He held out a hand to him, and that was when I noticed his nails were also painted black. Haven’t seen that in a hot minute.

“How ya doing?” he greeted. “I’m Ed, and this is my wife, Lucy.”

Shawn shook his hand and smiled. I could tell he was nervous. “Nice to meet you.” He held his hand out to my mom next, but she pulled him into a hug.

“It’s so wonderful to meet you, honey,” she told him, returning his nervous smile.

“You too.” Shawn was pleasantly surprised by the gesture.

Dad hugged me as tight as Mom did. “Mija. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you guys,” I told them.

“Ah, it’s about time you do!” Mom said, still smiling.

And comes the first awkward pause of the week.

“Come on in!” Shawn piped up, gesturing for them to go down the hallway. “Living room is down that way. Would you guys like some water?”

“Oh, you sweetheart. Please, if you don’t mind,” Mom told him before following my dad to the living room.

That gave Shawn and I a moment alone as we went into the kitchen. It was a moment to breathe and to process everything. I looked at him, not really sure what to expect. Did he hate them already?

“You didn’t tell me your parents were polar opposites,” he told me quietly as he went to get glasses from the cabinet. “You never told me your dad was a goth.”

“You never asked,” I said, bemused.

“I’ve asked you like ten times!”

We went back to the living room with glasses of water. My mom was quick to stand up and help me sit on the couch.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be walking around so much,” she suggested.

“It’s good for me, trust me,” I replied. I wonder how much mothering I could take before I had it.

“Let me see your scars,” she said, grabbing at my shirt to look at my bandaged incisions. “Are they healing? Do they hurt at all?”

She’s my mom. What could I do? I sent my mildly embarrassed gaze over to Shawn, who was setting the glasses of water down on the coffee table. He only gave me an amused smile.

“Oh, god no!” Dad snapped, turning his head away. He coughed and gagged.

“It’s not that bad,” I told him. “It’s three holes and two lines in my tummy!”

“Nope! I can’t do blood!”

“There’s no blood!”

Mom pulled my shirt back down and sat next to Dad on the other end of the L-shaped couch. “You dress and act so scary but you can’t even look at your daughter’s wounds!”

They began to bicker in Spanish, to which I rolled my eyes at. Shawn sat down next me and we shared a look.

“Just wait,” I told him. “They’ll be done in a second. Then, they’re gonna interrogate you.”

“Great.”

Once my parents got themselves together, they simultaneously turned to us, hands folded in their laps. They moved together like robots sometimes, it was strange. But it worked for them.

“So, mija,” Mom said, “when will you be coming home?”

Oof. An unpleasant thing to talk about.

“Actually…” I trailed off. “I’m gonna be recovering til the middle of August. If I didn’t have these huge cuts under my belly button, I’d be ready to go home next week…”

Mom blinked a few times, like she hadn’t process what I said. Dad, on the other hand… his face fell. Honestly, I wasn’t too happy about this arrangement either.

“When does school start for you?” Dad asked.

“A week after I’m supposed to be recovered,” I replied. “And I have to get my dorm ready, and my professors will start setting assignments that month. Not to mention, I still have a job.”

“So you can go to work, but you can’t come home?” Mom’s warm, loving facade now vanished. Her face went hard and cold, and her eyes were daggers.

“My job isn’t that far from here,” I told her. “And I’m sitting at a desk most of the time. Trust me, I wanna go home too, but the doctor said-”

She cut across me. “The doctor said you stay con tu pinche novio, verdad? No quieres dejar ese chamaco? No quieres ver tu familia porque ya tienes novio!”

My dad gently placed his hands on her shoulders and quietly spoke to calm her down. It wouldn’t do any good, because now I was angry, and I talked back.

“Él no es chamaco! Me está cuidando, y estoy muy agradecido que me deje quedarme aquí! Sin él, hubiera estado sin hogar y varado! Ma, el doctor me dijo que no puedo viajar asi!” I raised my voice, causing Dad to hold up a warning finger.

“Don’t talk to your mother like that!”

“Pues, claro que no quieres viajar! How convenient!” Mom snapped. “Quieres quedarte con ese guey, no me mientas.”

My dad looked at my startled, confused boyfriend. “Listen, Shane-”

“Shawn,” I corrected, folding my arms.

“Sorry. Shawn. I’m sure you’re a nice guy,” Dad continued, “but we don’t know enough about you. We don’t know if this is a safe enough place for our daughter.”

Shawn sat up. “I’ll tell you anything you’d like to know, sir.”

“Nos va a mentir,” my mom spoke, looking at my dad with wide eyes. “Nos dirá que queremos oír.”

Normally, I would have kept at the Spanish, but I was over it now. Especially in front of my English speaking boyfriend. “Just give him a chance, Ma!”

Dad gave me a look like I was crazy. “Mija… she’s not wrong.”

I ignored him and turned to Shawn. “They’ve been here all of ten minutes and they already think you’re a liar. They think you’re forcing me to stay here or something.”

“Hey, we did not say that!” Mom pointed a manicured finger at me.

“It’s gonna lead to that! You’re always going to the worst case scenario!”

“Well, you’re still sick! He could leave or kick you out!”

Shawn spoke up. “Um… with all due respect, I wouldn’t do anything like that. I care so much about your daughter, I wouldn’t even think about leaving her like this, especially since…” He paused and glanced at me once. “I already knew how I felt about your daughter, but her time in the hospital made it even more clear. I love her… so much. All I wanna do is make sure she’s okay and healthy. And I wanna make her happy, too.”

That was all… the sweetest shit ever. But my mother still had a skeptical look on her face. My dad had his eyes narrowed, but he spoke next.

“I can see that. She told us that you slept at the hospital, saw her through to her surgery. Even before that, you stayed despite her health issues. I think that’s a good man.”

My faith was restored and shattered again with every word. “Despite my health issues?” I repeated.

“Ay, mija,” Mom said with a sigh, “you of all people should know how much of a hassle it is to deal with your sickness.”

“Well, Shawn doesn’t see me as someone who’s sick. He never has.”

“It’s really no hassle,” he added. “If anything, she pushes me to eat better.”

“And I only get sick if I eat the wrong thing. Most of the time, I’m fine.”

Mom scoffed. “You were in the hospital. Obviously, you did something wrong!”

Heard those words before… every time I was in the bathroom at my parents’ house. It was my fault. I felt defeated, so I sat back and pinched the bridge of my nose. It was hard to keep my body relaxed when I was so tense and frustrated. Of course, my silence prompted my mom to keep talking… to Shawn.

“As a child, whenever she got mad, she told us she was going to run away to Canada,” she recalled with a chuckle. “And she did! She got a scholarship offer from UCLA, but she chose to run here instead.”

I didn’t run away. I chose the place I actually applied to, and it was Toronto.

“How was I supposed to look after her? What would happen if she got sick?”

I got sick here, and it was handled. I knew how to handle my own burdens. Part of being chronically sick is learning to live with it. Part of it was always being seen as sick to some people. That happened whether you want it to or not.

“Aside from that,” Dad added, “we were also worried about the type of person she might end up with. She’ll pick whoever she picks, obviously. We just don’t wanna see her with someone who’ll influence her the wrong way. I’m sure she’s told you, but she’s had some rough relationships in the past.”

Shawn nodded. “Oh yeah. I know all about Luca.”

“Who’s Luca?”

God fuckign-

Keeping secrets from my parents was not allowed when I lived with them. It was hard trying to find privacy, much less ask for it. If I wanted to keep something for myself, then I was hiding something and that was bad. I couldn’t even keep a journal without worrying that they’ll read it behind my back. They were always able to get stuff out of me anyway… because they’re my parents, and they want to help, and I can only trust them and no one else. They did everything for me, the least I could do was reveal personal information so they knew every little thing that was going on with me.

Don’t even get me started on how offended they would get if I didn’t want to talk about certain things. I wanted time to sit with my depression when it started happening, only for my parents to literally ground me because I kept it from them. My mom was upset because I didn’t tell her about Shawn from the moment I laid eyes on him. So when I told them that I did not want to talk about my past thing with Luca, they weren’t exactly thrilled.

Thankfully, Shawn’s family finally made it over. That meant that my parents had to put on their civil customer service attitudes. Anyway, I finally met Shawn’s dad and sister, Manny and Aaliyah. I was still in a physical state I didn’t want to be in, but this was much better than when I was on morphine and hitting on my boyfriend.

Within minutes, our parents were bragging about their kids. Not in a way where they were trying to one up each other, more like they were proving their kids were good together. My mom let go of some of her skepticism as Karen gushed about her son. Karen also brought up that she was at the hospital with me, which started up that conversation.

“Okay, mija,” Mom said, looking at me. “How bad was this infection? I couldn’t understand the texts you sent me.”

“Before or after the surgery?” I asked.

“Pues, los dos.”

I spent about twenty minutes explaining the infection, the antibiotics, and the trip to the emergency room.

“So what happened? Why did you get that infection?” Dad asked.

“She stopped taking care of herself,” Mom answered for me. “I’m assuming you and your vato go out a lot. ¿Están comiendo pura basura, verdad?”

“No es cierto!” I argued, but I had to remember the other witnesses in the room. “Sometimes, these things just happen. I was really upset to that I spent so much time taking care of myself, only to end up having surgery. But everything went well. The surgery was successful, and I’m okay.”

I could still see fire in my mother’s eyes, but she held her tongue. It was just another argument to be had later. It was a little embarrassing, having Shawn’s family witness the tension and underlying rage. The only person who seemed entertained by it was Aaliyah.

“And after the surgery?” Dad asked, gesturing for me to continue. “You had another infection?”

“Just on the incision,” I replied. “That was take care of with antibiotics.”

“That’s not what your texts said.”

“Huh?”

Now, I remember sending my parents updates on my condition, despite the fact that they were without their phones literally the entire time I was in the hospital. I knew I sent them the text about having a surgical site infection.

Shawn spoke up, his voice soft. “Honey…”

I turned to him, but he was looking at the floor now. His jaw was clenched, like he was holding something back. He was silent long enough for his mom to speak up.

“You did have an infection, yes,” she said, “but that was a few days after… The day after your surgery, you went into shock. They found out you were hemorrhaging, and they took you into the OR again. If they didn’t catch it when they did, you could have died.”

I only stared silently, my mouth half open. My mom gasped and clutched her chest, horrified. Dad was rubbing his hands together, trying to process what was spoken. Aaliyah had her mouth wide open, like the greatest tea was being spilled. Manny and Shawn were both looking down at the floor.

“Holy crap,” Aaliyah whispered, breaking the silence.

“Why did nobody tell me this?” I finally asked.

“The fever and the drugs made you delirious,” Shawn explained, picking his head back up. “They told you, but you probably don’t remember. Sometimes you didn’t even recognize me. And I sent most of the texts to your parents. Figured they would want to know.”

Every word was like a hammer to my chest. Now that I was thinking about it, my hospital memories were fuzzy. If there was something I did remember, it was my boyfriend sitting at my bedside for days. Also, his nightmares made a lot more sense now. It was my fault.

It’s all my fault.

That night, I lied awake. Again. Shawn frequently thrashed and yelled in his sleep. I found myself wondering if I would actually wake up again.

[neoneversleeps]

safe | l.mk

pairing: mark lee x reader

genre: angst with a happy ending

warnings: swearing, underage drinking, marihuana, slight age gap, making out

description: 

Mark’s kisses were warm, and they were comfort and they were safe. And that night, you realized how much that scared you.

ib: girls your age - transviolet

word count: ~2.3k

Pink hues. Strobing lights. Drinks sloshing over the rims of red solo cups. Clouds of smoke.

You’re high the first time you meet Mark. Your blissed out mind poorly directs your body over to the boy standing in the corner of the room, red cup in hand but it seems to be just a decoration. Something to help him blend in, mix with the crowd,  you assume. He looks older than your friends and he doesn't seem too interested in the party around him. You wonder why he chose to come if he was just planning on lurking in the corner.

You giggle into your hand as you lean on the space of wall beside him. He seems taken aback, eyes widening almost comically when he meets yours. You smile goofily. Your brain was still very much out of it and everything amused you.

“You don’t seem to be having too much fun.” you say with a pout, poking his chest to put emphasis on the word “you”. He doesn't flinch away at your touch but he eyes you cautiously as he looks up from you extended finger. “I guess not.” he chuckles nervously and your stomach does a little flip at the sound.

You chalk the weird feeling up to mixing alcohol with weed. You don’t do feelings. You just, don't. You smile at him though. And then you take his hand and tilt your head towards the crowd of people dancing. “Do you wanna dance?”, your words slur together just a little, “Maybe then you'll finally have some fun.” His eyes flit to the dance floor, and for just a second there's a flicker of fear in them. Then he directs his gaze back to you, his eyes staring into yours. His gaze is so intense and so...deep that you almost want to turn away, to look anywhere but his eyes. But for some reason you don't. Everything around you is slightly blurred but yet the boy in front of you is crystal clear. His eyes are a deep dark shade of brown. They seem endless. They give you the feeling of falling, of falling with no end, falling into a deep abyss. And yet there is no fear of hitting the ground. “Okay” he breathes out after what feels like an eternity. It takes you a second to react, as if you were coming out of a trance. You take his hand and lead him off to dance.

You learn a lot more about the mysterious boy after that night. You learn that his name’s Mark Lee, that he recently moved to the town, that he's from Canada. You learn that you were right about him being older. He's 19 and a first year in college, making him two years older than you. You also learn that he was born on the 2nd of august, a leo, and that his favorite snacks in the whole world are watermelons. (You buy him a baseball cap with a watermelon on it when you spend a week in Cali and he’s ecstatic when you gift it to him.)

That's another thing you learn about Mark. He’s caring and happy and bright and positive energy seems to surround him. He's the guy that everyone wants to be friends with. The guy all the girls have a crush on. A true and completely pure sweetheart.

You were the opposite. It's not like you tried to be negative about everything. You just kept to yourself most of the time, you didn't like to let people know too much about you. Often times, you came off as cold, as distant, as rude. The truth is you were just scared. Scared to let anyone in. your life at home was a living hell too, so you liked to drink ad get high and make out as parties. It made you forget. It made you happy. Or at least, your own little twisted version of happy.

Mark knew you had been high off your ass the first time he met you but that didn't mean he approved of your behavior. He mostly kept his disapproval silent though, he didn't want to constantly fight and honestly, he was tired of trying to get you to change your ways. But of course he worried. He worried because he cared. Because you were his friend.

Friends, yes. You were friends, but also something more. That night at the party you had made out in the bathroom. You had continued to make out several times over the months that followed. Sometimes at his place, sometimes at yours. Sometimes at a party or in the bathroom of the diner where you hung out with him and his friends. Sometimes, you made out in his car at 3 in the morning when you couldn't handle being at home and called him up at that ungodly hour. Voice strained and eyes teary.

Mark would ask whats wrong, he would want to talk about it, to help in some way. You would brush him off every time. Just like you would brush off any talk of feelings, or dating or anything to do with the term “official”.

There were times where Mark just wouldn't relent. You were straddling his lap. Fingers bunching up his jean jacket in the backseat of his 1965 Buick Riviera (“A family heirloom. It used to belong to my grandfather. My dad passed it on to me on my 18th birthday.”). You desperately tried to kiss him but he dodged every attempt. “No, y/n. We are not kissing until you tell me what's wrong.” His gaze was firm, hands planted secured on on each side of your waist. You sighed heavily but you knew you weren't going to get anywhere soon if you didn't tell him at least something. You got off his lap and sat in the seat next to him.

“Its my parents, ok? They never stop fighting and it's a mess. And somehow I always get dragged into it. It's part of the reason why I like going out so much. I just really hate having to hear their shouts all the fucking time when I’m home. I think”, your voice is gravelly and you take a steadying breath, “I think if i had to spend anymore time in that house than I already do, I would go insane.” You end with something akin to a chuckle. When you look up at Mark, there's sympathy in his eyes together with an underlying sadness, and there's something else there that you don't want to label. You can't stand it.

You lean forward and press your lips to his neck. “y/n…” he warns. You continue kissing up his neck, drawing closer to the sweet spot under his ear. “Please Mark”, you plant a kiss at the end of his jaw before continuing, “can we just not talk about it?”. You nibble at the sensitive spot near his ear and hear him exhale a sigh above you. You smile a little, you know you've won at this point. “Fine”, he groans when you suck at his sensitive flesh, “but promise me you’ll talk about it with me some other time, yeah?” He moves your positions so you back on his lap and he can look at you. “Promise”, you say, but you know full well you don't mean it and from the hurt look buried deep inside his eyes, Mark knows it too. There’s guilt clawing at your insides. You didn't like lying to Mark, making promises that the both of you knew you weren't gonna keep. Mark deserved better. That, among other things, was one of the reasons you would never date Mark. He deserved someone so much better. Right now, however, you didn't want to waste any moment with Mark, so you crashed your lips onto his.

Mark’s kisses were warm, open mouthed and languid, hot breath mingling with your own. Only growing needy when you moved to pull away, needing to catch your breath as Mark’s lips chased yours.

Mark’s kisses were warm, and they were comfort and they were safe. And that night, you realized how much that scared you.

You’re high when you tell Mark you love him.

The both of you are sat on the rooftop of Marks shitty apartment complex. You had wanted to get high earlier that evening and Mark told you that he’d rather you just get high with him then for you to go to another party. The last one you had gone to had ended with a way too touchy guy being punched in the face, Mark’s reddened knuckles, and a lot of throwing up on your part. So, you had agreed to just get high while being next to Mark, snuggled into his side a the wind howled past you.

You had also managed to get Mark to take his first ever hit. He coughed from the burning sensation of the drug filling his lungs, face scrunched up in disgust and you laughed. You laughed and then he looked at you, smile tugging at his lips and you just...said it.

“I love you.” You looked at his eyes, those same deep brown eyes you saw at the party all those months ago. You hate to admit it, but you think you fell into them the moment his gaze met yours that night.

“Don't go jump the gun. Live fast while you're young honey, don't go chasing love.”

Your mother’s words ring faintly in your head. You couldn't blame her. She had married too young, gotten pregnant too young, and it had ruined her life. But you weren't your mother, and Mark wasn't your father. You were different.

Mark finally snaps out of his shocked state. “You don't mean that.” He says then, and your heart clenched at how broken he sounded. But you can't blame him for not believing you. You could barely believe yourself. You feel new tears form and your voice is shaky when you speak: “I do, I do- I do mean it. I mean it so much.” There's tears running down your cheeks now but Mark faces away. “No you dont.”, his tries to sound angry but it just ends up sounding tired, “You're just way too high.” A loud sob wracks your body then but Mark still refuses to look at you. “If you actually loved me”, he swallows, “you’d tell me when you arntt high as a kite.” He sighs and stands up. “I'll leave the door unlocked, ok? I'm gonna go to sleep, on the couch. You can have the bed. Don't stay out here all night, got it? And for God's Sake, please don't do anything stupid.” He faces you when he talks, but he still won't look at you. It hurts so much, but you don't say anything. You stay silent and watch as he leaves.

Mark wakes up to his phone buzzing like crazy on is coffee table. He groans and stretches, wincing when he hears the joints in his back cracking. Sleeping on the couch sucks, he thinks to himself. His phone buzzes again and Mark quickly blinks to adjust his eyes to the stream of sunlight flooding through his balcony door. He reaches for his hone slowly, mind a little groggy for some reason. The screen lights with another message and he mindlessly clicks on it only to see that it's you texting him. Your nickname “Munchkin” (from when you had told Mark about your love for the wizard of Oz and he decided to call you Munchkin due to you being smaller than him and because he found it cute, much to your dismay) lit up the top of the phone screen.

Munchkin💗

[09:05am]

hey, you awake?

markk?

hello??

[09:27am]

MARK

m

a

r

k

istg the one time i try to do something nice for you

AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN UP

[10:02am]

mark leeeee

markus

                                                                     yeah?

FINALLY you're up

go on your balcony

                                                            what? why?

just do it please

                                                                      ok ok

Mark sat up and scrambled to get out from under his blanket, limbs not quite cooperating this early in the morning. He finally makes his way to the balcony, sliding open the door and stepping out into the cold air.

“Hey! Down here!” You shout as soon a you saw his balcony doors opening. His head pops out over the railing and you squint up at him, the harsh morning sun making it difficult to get a good view of Mark’s face.

“Does this count at something stupid?” You shout up at him. Next to you stood Marks car with the words “I love you Mark Lee” complete with heart sprawled on top of the hood with white paint to contrast its black color. You hear his laugh from above and your heart swells with affection at the sound. He's running through the front door of the building in no time and before you can even register it, he swoops you up in his arms and swings you around. The both of you are smiling and slightly out of breath when Mark sets you back down.

“I love you, Mark Lee. And I mean it.”

He kisses you, but it feels different than your normal ones. You can feel each emotion he's trying to convey, feel the love he's pouring in to you. You wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls you as close as he can by your waist. After a moment, he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.

“I love you too.”

He smiles as he says it and you dont think you’ve ever felt this relieved and happy in your life so you pull him into a bone crushing hug. He plants a kiss on the top of your head and gently strokes your hair. You stay like that for a while until you feel him shift slightly in your embrace. “Hey y/n.” “Mmm.” you hummed in response against his chest. “That’s washable paint...right?” You giggled as you pulled away from him. “Oops.”

“Y/n!”

(It was, of course, washable paint, but Mark didnt have to know that just yet.)

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

[who-tf-stole-my-car-radio]

Josh x reader part 1

You smiled as you and your bandmates ran off stage, the fans were still screaming and kept screaming until the next band took the stage. You loved playing lallapalooza the crowd was always so electric. This year you shared the stage with a band called Twenty One Pilots, you never heard them before recently and they were honestly really good.

You watched from side stage as they played their set. The singer, Tyler, really got the crowd going he had so much energy and was really fun to watch. Josh, the drummer, was also interesting to see, his drum style was very unique, like yours, it was full of life and emotion. When they finished their set the crowd had the same reaction , the boys bowed and waved before walking off stage panting and sweating.

"Nice job, good show" you commented smiling. Tyler returned the smile.

"Thanks! Im sorry I dont think we got a chance to meet befor the show, im t-" he began

"Tyler, and josh, I know" you said with a laugh shaking his hand.

"I'm (Y/N) its nice to meet you guys!" you said happily.

Josh smiled at you making your heart skip a beat. God he was handsome, his eyes, his chisled jaw his broad shoulders. Fuck. You, your band mates, Tyler and Josh all walked back stage, each of you grabbing a much needed bottle of water. You all sat in a room backstage chatting and calming down from the show. "You guys wanna grab some drinks?" Tyler offered . You looked at your other band memebers and everyone agreed happily.

"There's a bar down the street we can go to" Tyler added as you all walked out the back door of the bulding. It began to rain lightly while you walked down the street. The cold air kissed your skin causing you to shiver slightly.

"Are you cold?" you heard Josh ask as he caught up to you, startling you a bit. You smiled and looked at your arms they were dotted with goose bumps.

"Yeah kinda" you replied with a small laugh, Josh smiled and took off his sweater handing it to you. Tyler and the others were a few feet behind you guys carrying on a conversation about music. You reached out to grab the sweater , Josh's eyes scanned your arms, his face fell noticing the scars that peppered your skin. You noticed him looking at them before he brought his eyes back up to your gaze. Your face turned pink and you quickly pulled the sweater over your head.

"Sorry" Josh spoke softly looking down at the wet street he was walking on. You knew he wasn't judging you. His look was more concerned than judgmental.

"It's okay, people stare all the time" you responded. "It doesn't bother me so much anymore, I'm used to it" you added. Josh's sweatshirt was soft and warm, his scent filled your nose, it was comfortable and soothing. You looked at Josh and could tell he was thinking something, you hadn't known him that long but you could always tell when someone had something on their mind.

"How long have you been drumming?" you asked, trying to pull him from whatever thoughts he was having.

"About 7 years"  he answered with a smile. Talking about his drums made him happy, almost as happy as playing them. He then asked you the same question.

"I've been playing for most of my life, about 15 years" you answered. Josh's expression shifted from a smile to a surprised look.

"Wow that's awesome, are you self taught?" he asked again. You nodded "my dad taught me a little when I first started but I mostly taught myself" you said. Josh chuckled "that's really cool" he said, you could tell he was genuinely impressed.

"Your band did really good tonight, I can't beleive I've never heard anything by you guys before" he said keeping the conversation going. This made you blush, it always made you happy when another musician complimented your music. "Thanks! You guys were awesome too, I really like that song car radio, I really felt that one, there's a lot of emotion in those lyrics" you responded, as the song played in your head. Tyler was a good writer, it was obvious he had his own demons and issues he was dealing with, like everyone.

"This is it" Tyler said opening the front door and holding it for every one to walk in. The smell of smoke and dark liquor filled the air. An ACDC song played over the speakers. It wasn't very busy, there was an older man sitting at the bar , a couple younger people playing pool and a few others scattered in booths. It was a total dive bar, a hole in the wall, which was just your style. You all sat at the bar, on squeaky worn out bar stools.

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked, perching himself up with his arms rested on the bar as a wash rag sat oh so typically on his shoulder as he awaited your response. Tyler looked at Josh with a raised brow.

"I'll have a beer" Tyler said. "I'll have a jack and coke" you ordered. "We'll have some beers too" your band mates chimed. "I'll have a long island iced tea" Josh ordered. You chuckled, josh didn't seem like a long island iced tea type of guy, but, to each his own. The bartender nodded and began to collect everyones drinks.

"So where are you guys headed now that lallapalooza is over?" you asked playing with a coaster that sat in front of you.

"We're going back to Ohio, for some well deserved time off" Josh responded. "For a little while anyways" he added with a smile.

"Hey, I live in Dayton" you replied happily. "Small world" you added turning your attention to the drink the bartender set infront of you. You grabbed it and took a couple gulps. The combination of alcohol and the carbonation from the coke burned your throat before warming your chest and stomach. "Ah yum" you said wincing a bit from the sharpness of the alcohol. Josh laughed.

"Not very convincing" he said still smiling. You laughed and took another drink. The bartender slid Josh's drink to him. Josh nodded and smiled at the gruff man. You looked at the drink, as josh stirred the ice around with his straw.

"Have you ever had one before?" he asked noticing you looking at him. You shook your head in reply. He slid the drink closer to you.

"We can share if you want, it's really good, I promise I didnt spike it" he laughed. You laughed too "haha why would you even say that? That's exactly what someone who spiked my drink would say" you said before taking a drink. "But I trust you" you added. This drink was sweet, much better than what you were expecting. "Mmm thats delicious" you commented. Josh took a drink too and nodded.

"Yeah can you beleive it's made of like 6 different alcohols? No tea at all" he laughed. You laughed with him, you enjoyed talking to Josh and honestly forgot the tyler and the others were even here. You could feel the drinks taking effect. You felt warm and relaxed, and you and josh were carrying on small talk, you talked about your lives, music, your dreams and aspirations. It was much easier to open up to people when alcohol was involved. You rolled the sleeves of his sweater up because the alcohol was making you warm.

"What happened to you?" the bartender grunted nodding at your scars, pulling you from your conversation with Josh. You hated when people asked that question. They knew exactly what happened very few things leave scars like that on skin.

"I got in a fight with a weedwacker" you retorted sarcastically. The bar tender rolled his eyes.

"What happened? Did your little boyfriend break up with you? Flunk a class? Your puppy ran away?" the man mocked you.

"You're just another one of those emotionally confused little girls, no reason to hate her life." he added.

"I don't hate my life" you answered , slightly angry and slightly hurt.

"Hey man why don't you just lay off" Josh spoke with a dareing look in his eye.

"Of course you don't" the man said ignoring josh completely. "You just do it for attention, I've seen your kind before" the guy spoke again. This pissed you off beyond belife. You never did anything for attention, attention was actually the exact thing you didn't want.

"I've got three things to say to you" you said standing up leaving over the counter, as did the bar tender.

"One" you said holding your pointer finger up , you then balled up your fist and punched the man right in the jaw with all your drunken might. To your and everyone elses surprise the man fell to the floor. Everyone was wide-eyed and silent.

"Let's get outta here" Tyler said breaking the silence, you grabbed a bottle of jack before all of you ran out the door. You were all laughing as you took off down the street. Out of breath you sat on the ground, your tour bus was in sight and the bar was long out of your mind. You laid back on the wet grass and looked up at the stars. You looked over and seen Tyler and your band members headed for the busses. Then you felt the warmth of josh's body heat settle next to you, you sat up and smiled at him.

"That felt good" you said referring to punching the bartender. Josh laughed "yeah that was awesome" he agreed. You thought for a moment and your face slowly lost emotion as thoughts of what the man said filled your mind. You tried not to let what people said to you about your scars get to you but it was hard sometimes. Josh noticed and you felt his hand draw soft circles on your back.

"That guy was an idiot. He was just being an asshole" Josh said softly, you nodded, knowing he was right. A tear fell down your cheek.

"I just feel so alone sometimes" you spoke with a broken voice as you wiped the tears from your eyes with a sigh. You could feel josh looking at you. He pulled the sleeve of his shirt up and held his arm out. You were speechless as you gazed at dozens and dozens of horizontal scars covering his arm. You reached over and let your hand graze down his arm , he grabbed your hand softly, causing you to look up and meet his gaze.

He stroked your hand with his thumb and gave you a comforting, gentle look, "you're not alone..."

[insarations]

these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? oh yes :) but gotta  get me some hot chocolate or blanket

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually just a scrap of paper or whatevers close

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i put soy milk and sugar in my coffee....just sugar in tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? ya :/ well at least if my mouth is open...I have terrible teeth

6: do you keep plants? no

7: do you name your plants? noo lol

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? painting/drawing/crafting..sometimes writing or poetry

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? very much

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? usually side, sometimes back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? too many to name

12: what's your favorite planet? hmm...never thought about it strangely. saturn for looks. but mars cause idk..it holds the most possibility

13: what's something that made you smile today? my cats

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? uhhh....idk

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! A day on Venus is actually longer than a year on Venus... wrap your head around that ;)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? ooooh all of them lol but probably lasagna... ooh or alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? just darker...dark brown or black

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up when i made us play hide n seek in a hotel room and i hid behind a curtain. or when i peed on my friends foot cause she got stung by a jellyfish XD

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to :/ I dont' really anymore..probably should

20: what's your favorite eye color? um idk really it depends on the person..I usually like brown or blue. not that green isn't nice but again depends on the person lol

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. ugh I really don't use bags or purses or anything like that much. currently my black vans drawstring

22: are you a morning person? nah, never will be. i'm used to getting up early but still hate it

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yes..a few people

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? umm i dont think ive broken into anywhere

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i got rid of all my own shoes but the ones ive had a while i wear the most are my black slipon vans

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? only she could do it, cant even explain lol

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? more than a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS lol absolutely not all white socks. I like fun patterned socks..especially my vans no shows... sometimes sleep with them on

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. oh gosh dont let me start

33: what's your fave pastry? uggghh too many. recently something amazing I tried... lobster tails from carlos bakery. but really..any pastry lol

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? lots of them. the main one I can think of is a small little grungy horse named Wickee lol...got him at this amusement park called Wickee Watchee... idk where he is atm :/

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? ooooooh yesssss...from time to time

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? 21 pilots

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I like it clean.... but it's messy most the time anyways lol

38: tell us about your pet peeves! ugh so many. the #1 thing probably is when I'm walking like in a store and someone just stops right in front of me..like i'm tryna get somewhere please move haha but otherwise I just had selfish spoiled people and attitudes and people who think they're better than everyone else

39: what color do you wear the most? black and gray

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? um honestly I don't have any jewelry besides my liprings. There is this necklace that was my grandmas but I don't really wear it anymore

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? It's called Pawn by Robin Roseau

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Starbucks. it's amazing. it's life. that is all.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? this girl

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um hmm on and off lately and I think i'm getting there again...but probably really completely like...last spring

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? as much and often as I can

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. oh you don't want me to do that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? donald trump. oh food. hahahahah omg. i thought it said thing. hahahaha. i cant even answer now.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? roaches. yes still same. I HATE THEM

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? eh neither like or dislike..rarely ever buy cds never records. But I did recently buy the Gwen Stefani Christmas album ;)

50: what's an odd thing you collect? nothing really odd. oh well.... unique boxes. I guess thats strange lol

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? so many songs.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uh hmm.. probably the spongebob mocking one lol

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? honestly..dont kill me...no

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself XD

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? gotten out of the car and walked a mile home XD

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? just being genuine and truthful and sweet and trying to be funny even if you're not really

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? BEAUTIFUL. I didnt actually listen but I did in my head. BEAUTIFUL SONG

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhhhh..... dont really have a group of friends XD

59: what's your favorite myth? hmm too much thinking

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? depends, most the time...the Footprints poem

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? given um...idk I used to get a buncha stuff from the dollar store for my fam every year lol received? a rock from my ex bf -_-

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nah not really a juice person

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? yesss....

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? uhhh eh..not for me

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? either calm or sad or sleepy or a combo

68: what's winter like where you live? it's florida. not usually cold. this week is as cold as it gets...low is like 38 but usually it doesnt even get there

69: what are your favorite board games? clue, monopoly is alright too

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not huge on tea but I like mint, or something fruity like berry or lemon or peach

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? with certain things

73: what are some of your worst habits? leaving drinks or bottles half finished out or like letting my room get messy

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. funny. sarcastic. sometimes an asshole. good time. gorgeous. fun.

75: tell us about your pets! They're two cats, sister, Lamb and Rue...they're 2 and 1/2 years old..and sweet and mischevious and fluffy and soft and cuteeee  and I love them more than anything

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? not really

77: pink or yellow lemonade? dont really like lemonade much but they dont make much a difference to me

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub :)

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? wrote a song for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white..nah I didnt choose

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. honestly my minds going black lol im tired

82: are/were you good in school? yes for the most part..had my moments but overall good

83: what's some of your favorite album art? so many I could name. coldplays is always really colorful and abstracty. and imagine dragons.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? already have two. want a lot more..too much to name and i dont even know still what all i want

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nah

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YAS. many. but first came to mind, Skillets Rise

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Silver Linings Playbook. Paper Towns. Shrek. All the disney movies. Avatar. Wizard of Oz. many more

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? all of them haha... pop art, impressionism, renaissance..just all of it all special in they're own way

89: are you close to your parents? eh idk i cant explain..neither close nor distant. like we live together and talk alot but not really the close relationship as some do..im very different from them

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Knoxville. the city I went to college in... interesting place with lots to do..best of both worlds. beautiful mountains and hills and views. but also the downtown areas are cool..lots of fun stuff

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? going to savannah ga for my bday. not sure where else yet but i'm sure there will be other places. i'd really like to go to phoenix..boston..new orleans..california..portland ugh so many places

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE AF

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just up in a bun which is boring but its too messy and long to put up with lol

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad

95: what are your plans for this weekend? nothing really so far. probably will go to lunch or something with my friend

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? myer briggs- INFJ (advocate) sign- aquarius house- ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? legitimately...like 3 years ago...hated it...too much walking and pain XD

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ugh sooooooooooo many. pretty much any song by skillet or gwen stefani/no doubt recently..dusk till dawn by sia, new rules by dua lipa... also songs by ben howard..lots of indie stuff

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 into the future... i've already lived my past, and i've made a lot of progress...wanna jump to even more progress hopefully

[2to3now4]

1/28/18

had a dream about nato and mauri last week

we were for some reason all hanging out irl in my childhood home

it was like i still lived there (i can literally only dream about my childhood home ive never once dreamed about my current residence) anyway we were all hangin out and i saw a car pull up outside and some people were looking for mauri like he was in trouble or something

two people came out of the car: an hourglass shaped woman with platinum blonde wendy williams ass hair, a pink legally blonde-esque business getup, and a seven foot tall hyper-realistic robot man with a very gentle voice. the robot guy had skin that looked like hard plastic, like he kind of literally looked like a massive ken doll but everything else about him was incredibly lifelike except for the fact that when he talked his mouth didnt move properly and his arm movements were really stiff but he had the most convincing human voice

anyway this woman comes up to my front door and knocks for a while and shes like peering inside the glass like yoohoo anybody home? ^__^ and mauris like off to the side back against the nearest wall trying to avoid being seen by this lady and he looks nervous as hell and im like gogogogo and i hid both him and nato in my dads office/music room just as this lady fucking picks the lock on my front door and waltzes right in and im like heeeeeeeeeeeey who the fuck are you haha! um what do you want! and we chit chat for a while while im sweating my ass off because i dont know why this business lady and her massive 7 foot tall robot man companion are searching for my friend who is hidden in the room directly behind me

i really distinctly remember just being totally taken aback by how gentle this robot man’s voice was but also weirded out by his jerky Mouth Movements

anyway they left because i convinced them mauri wasnt here and then i was like what the FUCK was THAT and then the dream changed completely and i never got an answer

natos hair also looked longer i think. he kind of literally just looked like one of his own drawings in a way. like he just looked slightly more cartoony than anyone else

anyway and then i had a dream i was viciously attacked by a very small and VERY fucking furious snow white labradoodle. it bit my legs and pounced up on me and it bit into my forearm and didnt let go. i think its teeth hit bone

IT WAS GENUINELY REALLY SCARY i think at one point the dog actually said, in english, that it hated my guts

[urscottsdale]

1-100 😌

1:when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i rarely eat cereal but i think i usually balance them pretty equally or try to lol

2:do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i love it as long as im all bundled up

3:what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually the closest piece of paper i can find

4:how do you take your coffee/tea? with lots of sugar 😏

5:are you self-conscious of your smile? very

6:do you keep plants? nope

7:do you name your plants? nada

8:what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? writing and music

9:do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes

10:do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? all of the above

11:what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? no friends, no jokes other than maybe im the quiet one

12:what’s your favorite planet? pluto

13:what’s something that made you smile today? my dog

14:if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? my room: messy, theirs: clean

15:go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! uranus is tilted on its side 😉

16:what’s your favorite pasta dish? spaghetti

17:what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue

18:tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. idk tbh

19:do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont

20:what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes 😍

21:talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. who comes up with these questions? bc i dont have a favorite bag

22:are you a morning person? no i hate mornings

23:what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? listen to music

24:is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? theres a couple, one doesnt know it tho

25:what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? never broken into anywhere lol

26:what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? vanz

27:what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28:sunrise or sunset? sunset

29:what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? randomly checking up on me and actually meaning it when they say they care

30:think of it: have you ever been truly scared? a handful of times yes

31:what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. love socks and wearing them, dont sleep in them and i have an assortment of colors bc white is boring

32:tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. there was this time i went out drinking with my friend after graduation, these two guys were hitting on her after she called them gay (even bought us drinks), my friend is gay so that was interesting lol

33:what’s your fave pastry? doughnuts

34:tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? winnie the pooh and hell yes i still have it

35:do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? love them but never use them

36:which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? backstreet boys

37:do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean but it tends to stay messy lol

38:tell us about your pet peeves! i have too many pet peeves tbh

39:what color do you wear the most? blue and maroon (not together tho)

40:think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? cross necklace is self-explanatory, dog tag necklace i got from my parents so it holds a special meaning to me

41:what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? to kill a mockingbird

42:do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks…

43:who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? lol one of my friends back in like 5th grade

44:when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? summer and winter breaks in high school

45:do you trust your instincts a lot? yup

46:tell us the worst pun you can think of. sex while camping is fucking in tents ;)

47:what food do you think should be banned from the universe? most kinds of fish

48:what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being alone, and yes actually

49:do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes but i cant remember tbh. most i have were gifted to me.

50:what’s an odd thing you collect? keys

51:think of a person. what song do you associate with them? @thisvanessa - count on me by bruno mars

52:what are your favorite memes of the year so far? im pretty sure ive never seen a meme i didnt love so. the spongebob one is pretty good tho.

53:have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i wish i could tell u

54:who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dog lol

55:what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk im pretty passive aggressive so i do a lot lol

56:what are some things you find endearing in people? same as earlier, randomly checking up on me and also saying they miss me

57:go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? nope

58:who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my ex friend is the wine mom and idk maybe im the vodka aunt lol

59:what’s your favorite myth? the earth is flat

60:do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yess langston hughes and edgar allan poe

61:what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? cant think of any tbh, maybe the dancing chicken that used to be passed around for years in my family

62:do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? orange juice and cran-grape juice

63:are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i just leave them be

64:what color is the sky where you are right now? gray

65:is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yes

66:what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk not big on flower crowns

67:how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i love them so much

68:what’s winter like where you live? hot with a random cold day here and there

69:what are your favorite board games? wahoo/marbles, sorry, candyland, pretty much all of them lol

70:have you ever used a ouija board? nope

71:what’s your favorite kind of tea? sweet tea

72:are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes but im also too lazy to note things so i end up forgetting a lot

73:what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74:describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. beautiful, bubbly, cute, always smiling even tho i know they r sad deep down

75:tell us about your pets! small, black fur ball full of energy

76:is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? so many things

77:pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78:are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither im a minion dc club

79:what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? idk told me i give them butterflies or get nervous when talking to me

80:what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? i think they r an off white an bc my apartment landlord wont let me change them lol

81:describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. dark pools of chocolate

82:are/were you good in school? i was alright could of been better if i wasnt so lazy

83:what’s some of your favorite album art? never thought about that maybe something justin bieber has done

84:are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i want to but im not sure tbh

85:do you read comics? what are your faves? nope

86:do you like concept albums? which ones? yes theres a lot

87:what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? high school musical

88:are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? yes

89:are you close to your parents? yes

90:talk about your one of you favorite cities. im pretty sure i could never get tired of nyc

91:where do you plan on traveling this year? i successfully did not travel anywhere this year, thank you bank account ur the best

92:are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drown it in cheese

93:what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? short hair, short on the sides and longer on top

94:who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me

95:what are your plans for this weekend? lazy days

96:do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastination is my middle name

97:myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, scorpio and hufflepuff

98:when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont think ive ever been hiking but i want to

99:list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. over and over again by tim mcgraw, make you miss me by sam hunt, remember when by alan jackson, unhinged by nick jonas, chainsaw by nick jonas, untitled by simple plan and welcome to my life by simple plan

100:if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? damn thats a really hard one. probably the future tbh.

[uniformbravo]

bloop heres a post abt my 3-day trip to san diego B)

this was just gonna be a list of highlights but i ended up talking about a lot so it’s more like a Kind Of The Highlights But I Got A Little Carried Away list

it was a 2 hr drive so i put on some tunes & forced everyone in the car to listen to my thousands of anime ops and piano covers it was *fire emoji* (im not on mobile)

at the end jaelin said she couldn’t hear it the whole time rip

made myself carsick looking at mob psycho memes while we looked for a parking spot at the museum for 20 minutes (it was worth it they were good memes)

the museum we went to had a whole gaming thing going on where they just had a shitload of games out for ppl to play & one of them was just dance projected onto like an entire wall basically & i mean i didnt play but it was fun watching my mom try her best 

she played against two of my sisters who both beat her by more than double her score hgdhgksd bye mom

got a nauseating headache in the science museum & took the opportunity to sit down & look at more mob psycho memes for 35 minutes while the advil kicked in

felt better by the time we went to see this fuckin movie about national parks in the us but idk it was like. the whole reason my mom wanted to go to san diego was to see this movie bc they were getting rid of it soon & after seeing it i can see why they’re taking it out kjgkdjgksd like!!! it would’ve been cool if it told u shit about the parks like fauna and flora shit but it had this dumb little narrative abt these three campers traveling to each park & fucking around & i looked over at jaelin at one point & she was asleep & i was like same

im being too hard on it, it was kind of interesting to watch and had some cool visuals but the acting was pretty embarrassing & unnecessary, i wish it would’ve tried to be a documentary instead of entertaining. that’s my Professional Review of this random movie they’re removing forever soon, hope u enjoyed

realized i had more free time at the hotel than i thought i would & v heavily regretted not bringing my tablet to draw aaaaaahhhhh it was ok tho bc i brought my big sketchbook so i just drew in there B)

i’ve been drawing a lot of terukis i think i accidentally discovered a hidden love for him on the midnight shores of the san diego bay

(what i actually discovered is that he’s v easy to project a rly specific part of myself onto hgkdgksdjkgjsdk)

rented bikes to ride by the bay & it was super fun bc i havent ridden a bike in a long time but like. the second half started getting really hard for me & i thought i was just weak shit bc i literally never exercise but then i realized my back tire had gone flat hfdjghsd my legs were..... so sore

also the seat was shaped weird so my ass was sore for the rest of the trip. it’s still sore tbh. i have a bruised ass

went to a model train museum which was pretty cool bc the little towns had little people & jaelin and i were making up stories for them (my favorite recurring joke was pointing out ppl that had fallen over & calling them dead)

after the trains we made a spur-of-the-moment decision to stay a third day to see more museum shit bc why not so we managed to grab a room at a new hotel and #Locked In our decision

on the way to the second hotel we got a flat tire so i was like convinced i was cursed bc wtf it was literally on the same day???

while we waited for the tire repair i got a pink lemonade from taco bell and it was amazing i can’t believe i ever thought piece of shit sprite was worth even looking at over this

ok so i need to talk about the second hotel we stayed at because it was... literally the fanciest hotel i have ever stayed at in my entire 22 year old life

it was a mariott?? but a fuckin Fancy Mariott ok first of all we were on the 19th floor which just..... what the fuck

floor level was the 6th floor, this bitch went underground (though that might have just been the parking garage idk)

the lobby bathroom was like. jesus christ. to flush the toilet u wave ur hand over a sensor??? what’s wrong with just automatic toilets???? why are these toilets so extra????? i couldn’t even get it to work for so long jgkjdkgsd i hate technology

also there were moist towelettes sitting in a neatly folded pile by the sinks like what even. i thought it was paper towels but then it was wet

the lobby also had this fancy-ass bar/lounge where they served starbucks but u had to have a room key to get in i think

in the elevators to get to the rooms you can’t even enter the floor level until you hold your key card against a sensor like what the fuck..... we had to get some strangers to tell us how to do it gjdks i bet if we hadn’t been able to figure it out the elevator wouldve just dropped us 12 floors to our death like Access Denied, Assholes

the room itself was super fucking cramped tho which makes sense like if im gonna be able to afford anything at a place like this u better believe it’s gonna be the size of a damn peanut. it was the fanciest peanut ive ever seen in my life tho

the view was uhh we were directly across from some tall office building so at night u could like see into all the rooms it was kinda cool but also weird

there was a jar of hershey’s kisses on the coffee table when we got there but it was dark chocolate so like get the fuck outta here with that shit how dare you assault Mine Eyes (i ate like 4)

it rly was a tiny room tho and it didnt help that there were 5 of us rip... like there was a main room and a bedroom and a bathroom and already that’s making it sound bigger than it was hgkdjgskd 

but even tho it was small it had a lot like.. there was a kitchenette that was big enough for like 1 person to stand there but it had a fridge/freezer, sink, dishwasher, toaster, microwave, cupboards & coffeemaker like there was so much shit crammed in there, this wasn’t no minimalist living space it was just. a lot crammed into one tiny floor plan

anyway yeah it was really bizarre for me to be in a place like that & i just constantly felt like i didn’t belong there but that was mostly my anxiety lol i really dont like being in fancy places in general idk. it was still kinda fun tho

the natural history museum was cool, they had a bunch of animal skulls & taxidermy which i thought was pretty neat. all their dinosaur stuff was in the basement tho which u had to pay extra to see which like. bye

they did have some cool movies tho, they were like nature documentaries, one on marine biology around baja california and the other on animals of the galapagos & those were pretty neat, way better than that national parks shit we saw at the science center jgkdjkskdkdjg 

ok so this one’s more of a buildup over the 3 days so im gonna give a lil 3-part summary

day 1: we went to panda express for dinner & i had leftovers so i was like “sweet im saving these for when we get home” (bc the hotel had a fridge right)

day 2: got a rly good burger from a vegan place, my brother got the same one but didnt want his second half so i was like “cool more leftovers im gonna have so much good food when we get home this is perfect”

day 3: fucKIGN LEFT BOTH CONTAINERS IN THE FRIDGE ACCIDENTALLY WHEN WE CHECKED OUT HKDJFLSKDG i was literally so good about it the first two days like when we switched hotels i made sure not to forget them and i held onto them & everything & then halfway through the third day i was like “SHIT”

it’s ok tho bc for dinner that 3rd day we did panda again & i got the same thing so i have the same leftovers again hehehehehe

ok i think that’s basically everything & im not just saying that bc it’s 1:45 am and ive been working on this for like an hour and a half at this point.,.,. overall it was pretty fun, i think i liked the bikes & those animal movies the best... also the drive out bc i got to play my music lmfao (i love sharing my music ok)

anyway the end thank u