#it's like i'm in a fandom all by myself
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*releases a drawing of one of the characters from the book series i've been scheming for years onto the world* self care
#listen the mind map alone is over 5k words#and growing#and i've got hundreds upon hundreds of pins#not to mention the test scenes#and daydreams#my blorbos haunt me in both wakefulness and sleep#it's like i'm in a fandom all by myself#oh the insanity#anyway enjoy the drawing of the silly traumatised little man with a god complex and shitty sleep schedule#i'll be in the corner trying to resist the temptation to start a writing account on here#oc#oc art#digital art#art#artist#artblr#original character#original art#drawing#small artist#art on tumblr#original character art#illustration#digital illustration#suggestive#i guess#not really supposed to be but i figured better to tag it in case anyone wants to filter it out#he's just casually shirtless#because i wanted to draw his scars#because it's ✨fun✨
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
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Ranking mxtx couples by whether or not I think they'd be good parents
(I'm 90% sure I'm forgetting someone)
Yep, next question (S)-
Wangxian: tried and tested good dads. I wish them luck with the whole “trying to get wwx pregnant” thing
They have some shit to work through, but after that I think they'd be fine (A)-
Ling Wen/ Bai Jin: if we're just going off the original publication, I would put them in a much lower tier, but since the revised edition added that thing about them raising orphans together and said orphans turning out alright before unfortunate circumstances, I'm putting them up here. I think they'll be alright once they work through the miscommunication
Xiao Xingchen/ Song Lan: They obviously have a lot of trauma they're working through, but I'd like to think they and A-Qing will be a loving family in the long run
One of them would be a good parent, the other wouldn't be a bad parent (B)-
Jiang Yanli/ Jin Zixuan: there's no canon reason for me putting them this low. Jin Zixuan just gives off a mediocre parent vibe to me (and we all know Jiang Yanli is the best)
Yushipei: Yushi Huang has good mom energy, and Pei Ming has been shown to be a not terrible mentor. I'd want the misogyny fully beaten out of him with a mace before I'd think he should have kids of his own though
Lang Qianqiu/ Little Guy: at the very least, they're making sure Guzi is fed, clothed, washed, vaccinated, and has access to education. Neither of them know what they're doing, but I think Little Guy is good at faking it. I wish them luck in their upcoming custody battle
You know what, surprise me/ I'll hear you out (C)-
Bingqiu: My first instinct is “no, do not bring kids into this,” but then I remembered tharnShen Qingqiu has a surprisingly decent track record? Like, Ning Yingying and Ming Fan both turned out a lot more health than they did in the original novel, and though I wouldn't call him in a good place, Binghe is doing a lot better than Bingge. The wild card for me here is Luo Binghe because I have no idea how he'd be with kids
Quanyin: Yin Yu had a decent track record until he was pushed into snapping. I think rn, he needs a couple centuries of being a babygirl before he's ready to parent again. No idea how Quan Yizhen would do though
Born to “dual income, no kids, rich uncles/aunts” (D)-
Fengqing: Feng Xin is canonically a bad dad. I know he's working on it, but it is what it is. Mu Qing has been shown to be decent with kids, but I think he’d have a melt down if he had to deal with the mess constantly.
Hualian: I mean, Xie Lian has raised three kids at this point and one of them became a god, another became state preceptor and then sorta complicit in a genocide, and one became god AND committed genocide + he babysat a ghost king for months and didn't even realize that's what he was because it was a miracle if he remembered to feed him… so, a mixed bag. Hua Cheng may be schrodinger’s child hater, but I'm intrigued by the idea of him raising kids just because I want to know how his own childhood would influence his parenting abilities. They should probably just stick to babysitting for now though
Mingling: Liu Mingyan is too busy writing gay porn to be dealing with kids, and I just can't imagine Sha Hualing as a mom
Please don't bring a kid into this mess (F)-
Beefleaf: Do I need to explain this one?
Mobeishang: Shang Qinghua should not be put in any position where he has to teach someone about consent (Binghe’s early attempts at flirting being a prime example of why that's a bad idea). I also think Mobei Jun is still working on the whole “why hitting people is not cool” thing.
QiJiu: I think the original timeline is a prime example of how they're just not in a place to be raising kids
Jun Wu/ Mei Nianqing: Xie Lian would like a refund on his adopted father figures. They had one kid and he only made it to age 20 because he was cursed to not die
#heaven official's blessing#tgcf#mdzs#grand master of demonic cultivation#svsss#scum villian self saving system#I'm not tagging every couple because idk all their ship names#hualian#bingqiu#wangxian#beefleaf#qijiu#fengqing#quanyin#yushipei#for anyone wondering about the “schrodinger’s child hater” comment:#HC is shown to be on good terms/likes Banyue and Guzi but in the revised edition theres a scene where HC says he doesn't like kids#but also in that scene he's brainwashed and thinks he's a rich 16 y/o#mentally preparing myself for the Feng Xin stans to explain why mr “behave xyz way or I wont acknowledge you as a person” is a good dad#Feng Xin is less of a himbo and more of a tall/buff Chilchuck and I'd like if the fandom at large acknowledged that#idk what ship I forgot to include but I know its not a Jaing Cheng ship#edit: the Binghe defenders are raising valid points but he's still a wildcard to me because of his trust and abandonment issues#I could see bingqiu being good parents like... 5-10 years after the series end point
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Stan n' Nar
oh wow i finally finished it!!!11!!!1
first version's under the cut
#oh god i was stressing out so much that i'm gonna lose all my progress bc i had to resize the final one so it would fit on tumblr#but i truly impressed myself with this one!#plus found out how much fun it is to color/render#it made such a difference!#tsp#tspud#tsp fanart#fanart#tsp narrator#tsp fandom#tsp stanley#tspud art#stanarrator#stanley parable#stanley parable ultra deluxe#stannarrator#stanley x narrator#digital art#digital drawing#lazybird draws#SO FUCKING HAPPY WITH IT!!!#i rlly like the krita brushes lol#krita
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Time forgets most (DPxDC)
I've been getting too many brain worms that I need to clear out the cramp space that is my idea vault. In doing so, I'm just posting off-handed, random things I've typed up at work. (Partly so my drafts don't just end up like my vault). Without further ado, a much too too long post
°•°•°•°
The movement of time is a much too complex thing for many to understand. The knowledge that time was not perfectly linear. The past did not simply stay in the past. The future is not simply something to look forward to. The present is not simply a fleeting moment.
Time is a complex web. Every point in time, connected to another point in time. A never-ending mess of webs and connections. Things that are to be. Things that can be. Things that are being. Things that will never see the light of day in this universe.
Despite what some may want to believe, Time has no master. Time does not yield to any singular being. That did not mean that Time didn't need a helping hand. A guiding hand to help keep the chaos of time to something just a little more... fluid.
The being came to exist well before the universe had. The being was festered, taught, and nurtured in a small pocket dimension. A small space just like an incubator.
Until the world blossomed around it. Life started to grow. Time kept moving. Living organisms found untimely deaths. Evolved, learned, and grew into the new space around it.
When the first little creature crawled out of the water, Time's keeper was let free. A bumbling little thing, breaming with life and curiosity.
Just like everything else in the world, this keeper wasn't safe from time. It still moved. Brought forth problems and adventures.
As time continued to tick. Moving in every direction, the keeper continued to age. Unlike the rest of the universe, the keeper didn't age the same as others.
Some days, he was nothing but a small boy, frolicking in a field of flowers and bees. Other days, he was a strong middle-aged man. Pulling the strings in just the right way, pushing for a timeline that felt right.
On days that have been happening much more often. He was but a crippled old man, hunched over his staff, and dropping much needed wisdom on the young lives around him.
Being the keeper of time wasn't an easy feat. Being completely out of time, experiencing things in broken order. There was only a clear start, and a jumble of things that followed.
The keeper was content with his life. Watching over the world as it grew and blossomed. He was content with his special kind of solitude.
That was until he saw the boy. In the webs of moments, the keeper's gaze had found him. A boy much too young, suddenly with powers much too great thrusted upon him.
The keeper watched the scenes play out. The tears, laughter, humiliation, triumph, and pain. He watched as the boy's family was ripped from him. Watched the twisted attempt at fixing his life, only for it to go horribly wrong.
He watched the bloodshed and chaos that erupted. The lives ripped apart and destroyed. Not a single sign of life left behind.
Then he watched as the boy, no, not a boy anymore. The keeper watched as the monster tore through the fabric of time. Ripped its way through the thin veils that divided the universes.
Universes that had never known the boy's existence were torn to shreds to. A flight driven with pain and anger.
Despite the keeper having seen the boy turn into such a monster. He could see it in the beast's eyes. The deep-seated need for a family, a life. To be loved.
Something about the boy's life, his story, spoke to the keeper. He found himself reaching out into the web of lives and moments. Finding the moment when things went the most wrong for the boy.
Just like that, the keeper had inserted himself into a life. He pulled the boy out of the cruel stream of time. Filled the boy with the knowledge he needed. Let the boy see just what could happen if he let it.
The keeper of time was soon a simple mentor. A simple deity looking out for the world. Taking on the mantel of Clockwork and finding a new purpose for his life.
A young boy's life has been flipped upside down two times now. And there were certainly more to come. This time, the boy wasn't alone. He had a guiding hand, and a communtiy behind him.
The keeper, no, Clockwork watched with a strange pride and happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. The boy was quickly surrounded by a family that helped him navigate his new powers.
Clockwork, alongside many of the other ghostly beings, watched on with pride as the young boy grew into a strong young man. Mastering powers, taking a stand, and making their home safe.
Despite the best efforts, time always beings problems.
It was one thing for Clockwork. He was the keeper of time. His life has reason to exist as long as time exists. Which will always be. His purpose was infinite.
But this boy... Danny wasn't like Clockwork. He was still partially human and terrified of losing his humanity. Danny's story had to come to an end, it's how time works.
Except, Danny wasn't in the timeline anymore. Clockwork had ensured that, pulled Danny into a separate timeline. An unaccounted for timeline.
He couldn't live here forever, not the way that Clockwork could. Danny needs a life, a family, a place, a purpose. He was still human.
It took more effort than Clockwork would have liked. He had to cash in favors from other deities that he hadn't spoken to in centuries.
It took a combined effort of everyone who cared for the little halfa. The strange boy that teeter on the line between life and death. The boy who had freed the Zone from a tyrant. Who wanted nothing more than for everyone to live a happy and filled life/afterlife.
Getting the magic and spells right was the hard part. But finding the location was easy. A beautiful planet just on the edge of the Milky Way. Unlikely to be disturbed or hurt.
The planet was undiscovered, primative even. Far enough from humans that Clockwork was certain Danny wouldn't be bothered. Only one species lived on that planet. Along the jungle like fauna, and in the water.
Cute little guys, barely bigger than two feet long and one foot tall. There was no name, no knowledge about them. Aside from Clockwork analyzing their way of life.
A simple cycle. They were born, they aged, they played, fed, mated, and then died. A simple but content life.
The aliens weren't unsettling. At least not to anyone who has seen more creatures than what Earth has to offer. It is a strange combination between frog, fish, and squid.
Scurrying around on two legs and four tentacles. A small frog-like face with eyes that seemed to take up half that space. Colors vary from blues to greens to the same sandy brown found at the bottom of the lakes.
Before long, the planet had its own protector. A young boy who once was lost and alone seemed to meld perfectly with these aliens.
Clockwork was always sure of himself. He never let anyone see otherwise. Except, Clockwork hadn't been sure. Not when he had performed the ritual.
As he molded and changed Danny's DNA until the man was a new being entirely. To anyone who didn't know the full story, the boy could easily look related to the aliens.
Gills now painted the sides of his neck, not necessary, but Clockwork felt like it had been. Webbed hands and feet to make transversing the underwater caves even easier. An ethereal, almost siren-like touch to Danny.
It worked out perfectly. Danny settled in easily. Building a routine and bound with the aliens. It hadn't been hard for the little creature to take a liking to him.
Before long, it was routine. Danny would spend most of his time on the planet, watching over his new wards. On some days, he'd portal back to the zone. Spend time with the ghosts and deities that saved his life. To check in on the new govermental system that had been put in place.
It was perfect. Simple and nice. Everyone got complacent. The longer time went on without a hiccup or a problem. The longer Danny was able to rest in his odd solitude. The more people got comfortable.
The more they forgot that time was as cruel as it was forgiving.
It had been just another day cycle. Danny was playing with the most recent litter birth. The first time he had seen the birth, he was more disgusted than anything else.
After the third time, Danny had started getting excited. He looked forward to it. Loved seeing the aliens flourish and grow. Watching them thrive and find more fun in the things Danny creates. Every new fun game or obstacle was always made with the things natural to the planet. Or debris that was caught in its gravitational pull.
Danny was playing with Plop. The little guy got his name, and he always plopped out of the water. Unlike the other aliens, this one didn't crawl out. No, he'd pull himself out of the water with his tentacles, only to plop down on the ground.
Of course, Plop had also been the first alien to approach Danny when he arrived. It's how they formed such a strong bond.
Everything had seemed perfectly fine. The day was rolling along just like it always did. That was until a small group of the more elder aliens suddenly came scurrying into their main cave.
They hadn't waited a second before diving into the water. Danny watched, confused and concerned, as each one of them grabbed one of the young. Before shooting straight into the underwater cave system.
The once bustling and living cave was suddenly eerily quiet and void of any aliens. Leaving behind only the confused Danny in the pool.
At least that's what a certain Green Lantern saw when he followed the trail of retreating aliens.
This planet had been categorized to have no signs of intelligent life. It seemed to have the option to nurture life, but there had been no signs.
When Hal Jordan got word of a seeming spike of activity from the supposedly empty planet, he had added it to his rooster.
A quick peek, just a look into what kind of life might be starting to grow there. The little aliens he had seen were adorable, sure. But they didn't seem all that evolved. Still in their evolutionary journey.
That was until Hal saw him.
Now, Hal was no stranger to running into ethereal beauty. It's what happens when someone interacts with aliens on a basic daily. That was something he was used to.
Except, all his breath seemed to be knocked out of him completely. The cave alone was stunning, a stark contrast from the almost barren surface he had first seen.
A deep, shimmering blue pool that vanished into the rocky space around it. Trees, bushes, and flowers decorate the area. It looked almost too good to be true. Like an oasis in the middle of a desert.
Then there was the being that caught all of Hal's attention. Bright blue eyes that looked like gems, pale blue-tinged skin. Long black and white hair seemed to look almost like the night sky. A deep abyss littered with stars.
The closest thing that Hal's brain supplied was a siren. A beautiful, ethereal creature that lured men to their deaths. As beautiful as it seemed, Hal knew there could easily be danger.
Except, the creature didn't attack or threaten him.
Instead, he seemed almost shy. Mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, sharp deadly teeth flashing in the light with each motion.
Hal had just opened his mouth, taken a hesitant step forward. He wanted to know, and he needed to know how this happened. There wasn't supposed to be an intelligent, sophisticated life on this planet.
The moment Hal's lips parted, the creature let out a trill. A sound that seemed more scared than aggressive. Before suddenly, the beautiful creature vanished into the pool.
Hal moved before he could think, rushing to the edge of the pool. He peered into the crystal clear water, just in time to take the webbed feet of the creature vanish into a tunnel.
Now that left Hal with two options. He could either report this and wait for backup...
Or...
Or...
He could jump inside. The ring would protect him, and his lungs would be fine. Perks of being a Green Lantern.
That option seemed much more tempting to Hal. Nothing about this scream an outright threat. He felt more like a strange imposing on someone's home. A home that was meant for safety and protection of the young.
Yet, the shimmering water seemed to be calling to Hal. Something in him was trying to push him to get inside. To find the beautiful creature and learn more. Learn how this happened.
Without realizing it, Hal Jordan sealed his fate the moment he dipped a finger into the cool pool. Rippling the steady surface just slightly.
Just enough to get him wrapped up in the strange web created by time and its keeper.
#danny phantom#fandom things#fandom#danny fenton#phandom#dc x dp#dp x dc au#dp x dc crossover#dc comics#dc hal jordan#hal jordan#dc green lantern#green lantern#long post#I love all the posts that evolves Danny into something more than just a halfa#I've been having this idea of Siren!Danny#We're gonna ignore the fact that I got the idea for this from a Ghostsoap fic#I also like to blame the Circe saga from Epic the musical#Please I'm so whipped by that musical#I can't get over Circe and Odysseus' songs#Anyways Hal was ready to die for Danny at just one look#after he manages to get closer#to see Danny take care of and nuture the aliens#it's over for Hal#“I've only know this weirdly ethereal man for five minutes. but if anything happens to him I'm killing everyone in the room and then myself”#if it's not clear enough this is very much adult Danny who technically lived through millenniums but still just looks to be in his twenties#I love this idea sm even if I don't do much for it#I mean come on#I would kill to have art of Hal meeting Danny as my wallpaper#Time forgets most AU
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Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!
yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)
it's so common in fandoms!
I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.
I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔
I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.
anyway here's a doodle!
#that's autism for you#I'm sadly really picky and easily grossed out by things#I'm not even trying to be judgemental#I wish I was such a person that is just chill with everything but I have more icks than likes#so my fandom experience is like 80% discomfort and trying to avoid things without shutting out the majority of content in the first place#from what I heard I seem to have this problem particularly in this fandom bc the series is horror.#and I ship a toxic ship.#but I neither enjoy horror nor this trope. so what the fuck am I doing here#how did I get here. I'm lost guys#but yeah; it naturally attracts more people that are into quite dark or hardcore things#and I'm just sitting here with my soft dick in my hand wondering where it all went wrong#i don't belong here#I can't relate to 99% of people#honestly? I just... like Flug....... I just adore the autistic scientist#and I wanna SMOOCH him but I can't identify too well with myself or thus my sona#so how the fuck am I gonna smooch and love on this man#I need SOME second character for this!!#well Black Hat is pretty cool and easier to draw than the rest; I like his design...#so here we are.#I'm not really in it with my heart. I don't understand the essence of this ship. I'm a fandom blep#that's why a lot of content is probably disturbing and upsetting as hell to me.#but that's just my theroy..... a Joshi™ theory#sorry for rant I am bored and tired😔#enjoy#villainous#villanos#dr flug#kenning flugslys#my art#ask reply
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You're not less of a marauder fan for not having read/ not liking popular fics btw
#I don't like atyd#don't think I can bring myself to read the life and times since I know I'll get obsessed and be sad that it's abandoned#still haven't read tcoptp since I'm intimidated by how long it is#I haven't read alright evans or and all the wolves cry#will never read crimson rivers or choices because I don’t like the ships#despite that I'm still actively engaged in the fandom and have made so many friends#I can still enjoy content and connect with people even though I haven't read or liked popular fics#marauders era#marauders fandom#discourse i guess
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I can't believe that in the year 2024, I spent 20 minutes of my therapy session trying to explain the Destiel confession followed by immediately getting sent to super gay Hell so I could tell my therapist that I received the news that Trump had been shot through that meme.
#imagine trying to explain this to a 50-something year old lesbian with no idea what Supernatural or Tumblr is#She thinks I'm watching the homophobia show now and she's not wrong lmao#She asked me why I like the characters and all I could say is they're very traumatized and die every season and I want them to be happy#Like what I have a whole blog where I analyze ever aspect of these men and that's all I could say I HATE MYSELF#She then asked me who the main actors were and I was like you will not know who they are unless you watched Gilmore Girls or The Boys#it was also because she asked what I had been doing these past weeks and all I've been doing is obsessing over Supernatural#dean winchester#spn#supernatural fandom#castiel#destiel#deancas#dean x cas#supernatural#therapy#destiel news meme#destiel news network#destiel news channel
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ngl sometimes i think the inverse to the fanon inability to meaningfully interact with a character flaw that's not "my friends and family would say that my main problem is that i care too much" is the canon hyper critical you can only like a character because of all their flaws and you should never say anything nice about what you think their good points are without a million astericks about how much they really do suck, actually
#i mean. idk i like characters who i find personably likable to myself and because of their good points#and things i find nice about them. i mean i often like what i find to be their flaws too#but mmm i do think there is a tendency to need to prove you understand canon in the One True Fandom way by hyperfocusing on#all the flaws to push back against fanon's refusal to give characters negative traits#this is not going into the sex and gender dynamics there as well of which there are plenty i'm aware of male vs female treatment#that's almost a whole nother essay. all i'll say is sometimes the roles are reversed fanon v canon with female characters#and tbh this usually tends to apply moreso to male characters but not always#and i'm not criticising tbh i just think there is a general trend that i notice sometimes
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I... have a confession to make, of sorts. There won't ever be a good time to admit this, unfortunately, so it's best I get this off my chest now, and ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
It has not been easy speaking with all of the flashclones who have made themselves known in the wake of Union's latest raids; both for myself, and the squadron at large. I must commend my squadmates for handling themselves with the utmost professionalism - while my own correspondences with these newest members of the Omninet have been what I would consider adequately polite, I've been biting my tongue the entire time, and I fear that my personal discomfort with the issue is starting to slip through the cracks.
To this end, I wish to share my thoughts publicly, that I might better express my own emotions towards this complicated, frustrating, and highly nuanced issue. I only ask that you hear me out in full before you render judgement, and pronounce your sentence carefully.
First: an observation.
MSMC policy requires that all pilots dictate an end-of-life plan at the time of their recruitment, that their final wishes may be carried out by the company in the event of their death under MSMC's employ. The options provided for this are effectively unlimited, allowing the pilot a great deal of choice and freedom in planning their postmortem arrangements. These plans may also be altered in the future should circumstances change, provided the pilot is of sound body and mind.
Under MSMC policy, in compliance with the policies set forth by Union, one of the available postmortem options is flashcloning.
In my fifteen-odd years serving under MSMC, I have only heard of three pilots who have willingly chosen to be flashcloned after death (thus prolonging not only their life, but their term of service under MSMC as well). Of these, I have only personally met one, affiliated with MSMC-808 "5Q8R3 L00P3RZ" - I believe their current iteration goes by callsign Lemniscate. While I do not know how many times they have been cloned during their term of service, their current iteration seems happy enough, and their squadmates reassure me that they've maintained a consistent identity (plus or minus the odd quirk, as is typical of flashclones) throughout their life (lives?).
Second: a digression.
I purchased my Dusk Wing, And The Voice of Apollo Spoke From On High (Apollo for short), from an SSC showroom on a planet whose name I no longer recall. The curated atmosphere called to mind the high marble pillars and lush green-blue waters of some distant Cradle mythology where gods roamed the earth and mortals strove to emulate them, punished and rewarded for their folly in equal measure with gifts and curses beyond name. Each frame was posed as the statues of old on Cradle, too-human limbs arrayed in too-human poses, each a machine of war turned living art piece.
Apollo, true to its future name, was arrayed in flight; hover-jets draped with sunlight-yellow gossamer, veil rifle aimed in its middle tier of manipulators with the same care and precision as an archer would take with their bow. To see it lowered to the floor after its purchase was to see Icarus fall; to climb inside its cockpit for the first time, to don wax-and-feather wings of my own and fly.
The old tales caution that divinity has a cost, and I too paid the price. A vial of blood, drawn with silver needle and spirited away into an unseen cooler before my pen ever touched paper. Apollo was mine, but SSC had received a far greater gift in its place: a sample of my DNA, unwillingly donated as the price for my divine armament.
Even now, this price weighs heavy on my head like the sword which hung above Damocles, poised to drop without a moment's notice with each new Union raid on yet another forgotten cloning facility. Who can say on what distant planet the children I did not birth sleep in stasis - children with my eyes, my hair, my nose, my smile; sons and daughters who will never be called as such because, to their creators, they are slaves, weapons, property - anything but human.
Third: an explanation.
I believe that flashcloning, in its current state as of 5016u, as approved by Union's Third Committee (and exploited by the likes of SSC, HA, and several countless others across the stars) is an inherently unethical practice; both for those who donate their DNA (willingly or otherwise), as well as for those persons produced by it.
To see countless lives created, manipulated, slaughtered, and recycled in the name of so-called "progress"; to see inherently human beings stripped of every vestige of humanity but the body in which they reside and then forcibly brainwashed and molded into soldiers, medics, mechanics, weapons, machines, slaves, property - it is an abominable and inhumane practice that should have died a slow and painful death in the darkness from whence it was birthed.
This being said: I cannot stand idly by as the products of this inhumane practice continue to suffer. No matter whether it is beneath the apathetic gaze of Union, the dehumanizing bootheel of HA, or the eugenicist scalpel of SSC, I will not allow my fellow persons to endure another day of abuse at the hands of those who would abandon their own creations as little more than imperfect failures for daring to remind their creators of their sentience.
Alone, I can do nothing. I too am but a cog in this great uncaring machine humanity has built, one which prospers on suffering and bloodshed and the work of hands which have forgotten the body to which they are attached. Even if I were to risk life and limb and reputation to make my position known, it is a battle which lies dead in the water - it is impossible to halt the wheels of progress without irreparably damaging the future which relies on their turning.
And so I fight. I fight for those who have forgotten their humanity, both willingly and unwillingly, that they might find something of their own - identity, purpose, desires, connection, life - that reminds them of what they were and are and always have been: human.
-- Angel
#lancer rpg#lancer ttrpg#lancerrpg#// my squadmates do not know I am posting this - I could never hope to even begin to explain myself to them#// I only hope that when this post is inevitably discovered it will be forgiven; just as I have forgiven theirs in the past#OOC: jokes on all of you - you get a big fat lore(?) post as well as art this time around#holy shit this was so much fun to write - P has some COMPLEX feelings on this particular issue and do I ever enjoy writing ethical dilemmas#marrying “maybe nobody deserves to suffer actually” and “holy fuck flashcloning is unethical as sin” was a fun mental exercise#can you tell I'm an old hand in the SCP fandom? because this basically felt like writing a piece for the Ethics Committee#(not that I've ever published anything on the SCP wiki - that shit stays firmly in my Google Docs and the Discord messages of my friends)#I'm looking forward to seeing the feedback to this one; both in and out of character - I suspect this one's gonna be controversial#(also - addressing the elephant in the room: Phoenix is older than I draw her; both she and Slipshod have been with MSMC for about 15 years#(as has been stated in prior tales Kennedi has only been here for 12 years - she may be less experienced but she sure knows how to lead)
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@sasheneskywalker i love when you enable me to ramble about things because oh my god do i have thoughts.
so recently, i made a post discussing the phenomena of DC x DP and DC x MLB crossovers and why they exist and part of that post was discussing how largely speaking, at least half, if not more of the Batfamily fandom doesn't read the comics. if they interact with canon DC material, it's adaptations that are their own sequestered universes and oftentimes not remotely comic accurate or seeking to be. the most obvious example is the Young Justice cartoon. i'm adding a cut to this post because it just got so long i'm so sorry.
a lot of times, when people are discussing the "why" of this oversaturation of fanon-only fandom, they blame Wayne Family Adventures. and i think, to a point, i agree WFA is responsible for a boom in this fandom. but as someone who's been in the fandom long before we had WFA, to me it's the other way around. WFA was DC's way of meeting the demand for this easy-to-get-into, easy-to-consume content about the Batfamily that predicates itself on the comics just enough to be vaguely the same characters, but has a more sitcom, slice-of-life sort of vibe so DC could profit off of this section of the fanbase that otherwise wasn't consuming its primary material. and well, it's definitely worked. not only that, but i have a weird theory that the decline in the MCU also led to the rise in the Batfamily fandom. when you consider the fan content that made the MCU popular within fandom, it's that 2012 "they all live in Avengers Tower and Thor is eating poptarts and Clint is in the vents and there are movie nights every Friday" sort of vibe. those were the fics that were a hallmark of the fandom. and as the MCU has strayed from well... quality content in general, but specifically well-thought-out crossover content where characters can have their own arcs but also exist in a wider story where they clearly care about each other, that fandom was sort of homeless. so where do you go, if you like a superhero found family where you can have villains for angst but also stick them all in one big family-like home for silly crack and have a plethora of options for gay ships? well. you go to the Batfamily. if you write a crack/fluff Batfamily genfic with silly vibes and low stakes instead of say, a fic about a very specific comic issue even if it's a popular comic, you're *going* to get more traction for the former. because the fanbase largely just isn't reading the comics.
and i feel... complicated about this. because on one hand, Don't Like Don't Read has been a tenet of my fandom experience. i'm very pro-fandom and that includes fandom content i don't like. and to an extent, i do think this sort of should apply to Batfamily fanon. i enjoy having my moments with other comic purists, giggling over exceptionally painful OOC headcanons or even facepalming in pain over some content but it is on me to not interact with that content. you don't make fandom a better place by being hostile to fans who engage with canon in ways you don't approve of. and frankly? we as comic readers are not going to get non-comic fans to read the comics by being asshats to them. no one is going to want to pick up any comic if we get a superiority complex about it. and also, i feel like we're all lying to ourselves a little bit insisting comics are so, so easy to get into. they're not. we can just all agree, they're really not. i've been single-handedly helping my sister get into comics, specifically Wonder Woman and no matter how simple i make it, i watch her get frustrated trying to understand what pre-Crisis and post-Crisis and New-52 and Flashpoint and all these things mean and what a retcon vs a reboot is and what a Crisis Event is and what the hell Diana's current backstory even *is*. sure, you can give someone a beginner list of comics to start with and slowly dip their toes in the water but sooner or later, *something* is going to confuse them. comics as a medium straight up aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. and if someone *just* wants to read silly fluffy fanfiction about the Batfamily, i can't entirely begrudge them for not wanting to take the hours and hours out of their day to understand this medium. it's not an accessible medium to get into. "read this and this, but this run is out of print and this run wasn't collected in trades at all but also make sure you read that event in order and this is a good comic but the backstory in it is retconned and you *have* to read this it's so important but it's also really bad because the author kind of sucks" sounds. ridiculous for someone who like. just wants to read some stuff about Nightwing. sometimes, we all make reading comics sort of sound like a chore, not a hobby.
so my point is, i do extend some grace to Batfamily fanon for existing. i think my biggest gripe is, as i said in my other post, misuse of tags (if you're not creating content about comics, maybe you don't need the comics fandom tag on Ao3, just the all media types umbrella tag) and my far bigger gripe: when panels are taken out of context to support fanon only headcanons. if i could impart *anything* onto the Batfamily fandom as a comic fan it'd be this: if you haven't *read* the comic, don't spread the panel. if you don't even know what comic it's *from*, don't spread the panel. it's fine to use comic panels to discuss your headcanons, but so often i see someone spreading a comic panel from a comic they haven't read, and when asked where it's from, they can't source it. a silly example that comes to mind is a post going around, taking a panel where Dick, in his internal monologue goes "here comes the sun. do do do do." and the post is claiming it's from him getting buried alive. when that panel comes from Nightwing (1996) #140, and he gets buried alive in Nightwing (1996) #127, two completely different moments frankensteined together. if you're going to not read the comics, that's completely fine, but unless you're sure of the source and the context, panels shouldn't be spread around. i'm sick of this specifically happening to Red Robin (2009), with ppl claiming Tim has totally killed people because he blew up some of Ra's' bases, when those panels within context, make it clear he gave everyone time to escape. and in a later arc in that very comic, Tim grapples with the idea of murdering Captain Boomerang, and *specifically chooses not to*, because he doesn't agree with murder, even against the person who has hurt him the most. if you'd like to write fanfiction where Tim is pro-murder and has done some sketch things, i'm totally on board and would probably like to read it. but there's no need to pretend it's canon from a few panels you saw out of context.
beyond that, i think it's not *entirely* correct to say that fanon is harmless. whenever i see very WFA-positive posts, they often default to the argument that WFA is fun and silly, and comic fans are killjoys for not liking it. which. i think is complicated because the issue is, WFA and fanon don't exist in a vacuum. if you like WFA power to you, i don't think it's the worst thing ever, but i do think it's degrading to these characters because honestly? they feel incompetent in the webtoon. it's one thing if WFA was solely a slice-of-life sort of deal, just having silly episodes where Bruce is taking on a PTA mom or they're all fighting for the last cookie. but when WFA attempts to take on more serious plots with these characters, it *fundamentally* falls flat in understanding them. i get it, Bruce comforting Jason having a panic attack because a noise reminded him of the crowbar felt cute in a microcosm, but i'm so serious when i say that storyline destroyed how like. half of this fandom understands Jason Todd's relationship to his trauma. it doesn't understand how he reacts when he's triggered, what coping mechanisms he seeks out, and how he would handle Bruce comforting him. even if i can believe for a brief moment Jason *would* be triggered by something like that, him running and trying to hide and then getting a hug from Bruce to make it okay is just. painful. WFA needs everything to be wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow. so even when it starts to tackle interesting concepts, it makes them fall flat with its need to be soft, low stakes, hurt/comfort. there was a two-parter episode that dealt with the complicated mutual hatred/jealousy between Tim and Damian that *almost* really interested me because for once, it felt like the webtoon wanted to explore canon messy dynamics. but of course, it had to be fixed with one conversation and a hug. you don't mend the *years* of issues these characters have like that. WFA isn't in character because these characters are hyperbole cartoonified versions of themselves to fit within the medium and be a cute happy family.
because that right there, is the crux of it. the Batfamily fanon seeks to simplify the Batfamily and force them into a nuclear family. there are so many fantastic posts on here discussing how the nuclear family-ification of the Batfam is eroding decades worth of complex histories so i won't go too far into that. but what i will say is that there's this need, in the Batfamily fandom, for the Batfamily to exist as a unit. they are a *family*. (honestly i think calling it the Batfamily is a misnomer and has been for years but we're in too deep now.) they exist to each other first, and any teams or friends they have come secondary to this family unit. you can *specifically* see this demonstrated in what headcanons are becoming popular these days. i have an entire lengthy meta in my drafts about how i *loathe* the "the Batfamily meets the Justice League" genre of fanfic because it makes no *sense*. in order to have this genre of fic exist, you must operate under the assumption that no one in the League, or adjacent to the League, knows the Batfamily exists and are thus utterly shocked to discover Batman has kids. and to make *that* work, you have to strip *every single Batfamily member* of such important dynamics and friendships so you can lock them all in Gotham for their whole lives. Dick can't have the Titans, Tim can't have Young Justice, Duke & Cass can't have the Outsiders, Jason can't have the Outlaws, Damian can't have the Supersons, Babs can't have the Birds of Prey, and so on. because if they had these relationships, they would be known to the League. the Batfamily fandom doesn't care about this, it's just "silly fanfiction", it's not trying to be serious. but how can you say you like Dick Grayson as a character if you don't understand the Titans *are* his family? at some points of his life, moreso than the Batfamily even is. it is constantly repeated to us in most comics with Dick how much the Titans mean to him. he *needs* them to be who he is. the same extends to every other Batfamily member, most of which have been full League members at this point. but in fanon, that doesn't matter. the Batfamily are a sequestered unit first, and all of those side relationships are secondary and easy to toss away, if it makes your fanfic work better.
and because they have to be a unit first, you have these forced relationships that dump years of actual canon material for the sake of making them get along. the Batfamily fandom has its favorites and well. it's no secret it's usually the boys. Jason and Tim by *far* stand out as fandom faves so, their dynamic is a heavily explored one. it does matter that in canon they don't tend to get along and especially don't see each other as family. what matters is that you can push dynamics onto them. and so fanon gets all twisted up about which Robin Tim actually idolized as a kid (Dick) and what member of the Batfamily is pro-murder but still an older sibling figure to him and looks out for him (Helena, or if you want the dynamic of once tried to harm Tim but they've reconciled, Jean-Paul) in favor of who's the most popular. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian are always going to be the standouts for popularity, but it's specifically Jason and Tim who are getting fanonized the most. and that's because really, we don't have much canon content of Tim that *isn't* the comics. for Dick you've got Young Justice (tv), for Damian you've got the DCAMU, for Jason you've sort of got the Under The Red Hood movie, but Tim sort of lingers in this limbo. (yes, he's in Young Justce (tv) and Titans (live action) but in neither is he the main character nor given much depth) so, he gets a *lot* projected onto him and has become fanonized. and even with Jason's animated movies, you don't see him interact with Tim, so people build it from the ground up how they want to see it, disregarding of canon comics. i think it's what makes him so popular in the first place- he's malleable into whatever you want or need him to be.
and of course, the fanon ignores other characters in the Batfamily it doesn't know about. i feel like you could create a tier list of Batfamily characters by their popularity, going from the fandom main characters: Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Damian. to the underrated: Steph, Duke, Babs, Cass. to the forgotten about unless they're convenient for a story: Kate, the Foxes, Helena Wayne, Carrie, Selina, Harper Row, Maps, Minhkhoa Khan. to the absolutely unknown: Helena Bertinelli, Jean-Paul Valley, Onyx Adams, the Clovers, Julia Pennyworth. it's not lost on me that the ignored characters tend to be women and people of color. which is both a canon and fanon problem, DC will continue adding interesting characters to the Batfamily, play with them for a few years, then drop them to default to the "Batboys" again. and it's a vicious cycle of the fandom only caring about the "Batboys", and thus people entering the fandom via fanon osmosis won't have content about the other characters, therefore, they won't be interested in those characters enough to create it, and it's just this ouroboros consuming itself, no matter how much canon content we have of these other characters. and it's ridiculous just how large the Batfamily is becoming because of this, which is why i'm a pre-Flashpoint fan, because then the Batfamily was contained enough to actually feel like a family with every character having nuances relationships with each other, but i digress because those thoughts could be their own post.
and the thing about fanon is it doesn't exist in a vacuum. DC has started turning the comics to accommodate for what fans are asking for, because fans will beg and beg for content they're not going to consume. Tim Drake: Robin had Tim as a coffee drinker because that's the fanon accepted headcanon. and the resolution of the recent Gotham War arc was for Bruce to buy this new manor for everyone to move in and call him. nevermind that most of these characters have their own homes and have zero reason to be moving in with Bruce. Tim had his marina in Tim Drake: Robin, Dick has Bludhaven, Cass and Steph have their little side of town in Batgirls (2022), and so on. these characters are being forced together as a unit, as one big happy family living together, to appease what non-comic fans want and it's damaging comic relationships. Robin: Knight Terrors saw Jason and Tim team up and working together, which i've seen varying opinions on but i personally despised. their interactions made zero sense for any of their canon history, but it appeases them being this close sibling relationship that fanon acts like they are. also the fears they faced in their respective knight terrors didn't make sense for either character and *only* worked as a moment of bringing them together so they could reassure each other and have this weird dreamscape bonding moment. the canon is bending itself to the will of fanon rather than building on the pre-existing complex relationships. Tim barely even gets along with his most important team in Dark Crisis: Young Justice because it seems the only important relationships the Batfamily can have is with each other. and when we do see them outside of the Batfamily, it only seems to be to relive the glory days like with World's Finest: Teen Titans, instead of developing them as they currently exist. this isn't recent in the comics, it feels like you can trace it back to the New-52, but it does feel a *lot* worse over the recent years. WFA is fine when it exists in its own bubble, but the simple truth is, DC content never exists on its own. the adaptations will reflect back onto the comics. (the damage the Young Justice cartoon has done to some characters should honestly be studied) and so it does frustrate me a bit when fanon-only or adaptation-only fans act like we're being nothing but killjoys for being frustrated with this. since they don't read the comics, they don't see how the comics are suffering as a result of this.
people argue about what's out of character for the comics they don't even read. i'm sorry, but "bad dad Bruce" is consistently canon. that man is just kind of shitty. when you take someone who has the drive he has, who has this need for the Mission first, who needs a teenager in spandex next to him to keep him off the ledge, that guy is sort of going to be a shitty father figure. he just is. not on purpose or with malice, but when you compare him to any other dad in a big DC family, he sure takes the cake. it's why characters like Oliver Queen tend to *really* fucking hate Bruce for how he treats his kids. Bruce loves fiercely, but he doesn't do well with putting that love first. and his love is a controlling one, he is very particular about controlling how others in the Batfamily are "allowed" to operate. it's what drives the wedge between him and Dick, it's why Steph is never a true daughter to him. (besides the reason of her needing to be a love interest to Tim first, anyway-) i've never understood the massive outcry of people reacting to Bruce kinda being shitty in comics they're not reading. there are some moments that get ridiculously OOC with how cartoonishly evil he is (the whole Gotham War arc and that... complicated mess with Jason) but largely if you want sitcom loving nuclear father Bruce, you have to accept that is a fanon thing, not a canon one. the Batfamily being a nuclear family in *general* is fanon. most of the "Batkids" don't actually see Bruce in a particularly fatherly light and begging for moments where he calls them his kids or they call him dad outside of incredibly specific circumstances is just OOC.
it's getting harder and harder to exist peacefully in this fandom it feels like, if you don't comply to the standard fanon has set. i'm happy people are having fun with their blorbos, even if in ways i dislike, but that "harmless fandom fun" does ripple it's way back to canon, eventually. so i end up pretty tangled with my feelings because are fans at fault for DC making these poor decisions? probably not, but it certainly feels like an unfortunate cause-and-effect situation whether at the end of the day, nobody is happy. and of course, i know some fanon-only fans are striving to be more canon accurate and care about canon dynamics more than others, but for them it's always going to be an uphill battle with the above-mentioned out-of-context panels thrown around and ever-pervasive fanon overtaking anything that's truly seeking to be canon compliant. so really, it sometimes feels like we're all losing.
#necrotic festerings#batfamily#batfamily meta#dc comics#fandom meta#fan studies#fanon vs canon#i deleted paragraphs of this to try to make it shorter. it failed btw.#anyway i got into comics when i was like 12 with the dark knight returns#and if i hadn't been into this medium for a decade i don't think i would be able to get into it as an adult so i get it#bc i'm trying to get into marvel comics and fuck ME am i confused as fuck.#do marvel comics have like. an equivalent to crisis events?#is the ultimates like their version of the new-52? i do NOT know#it's so hard and daunting so trust me i get it#if you never wanna pick up a comic god i respect you you're so right this is fucking miserable#i want to live and let live in fandom but *god* i'm struggling here#i used to bend to the will of fanon fun fact#i wrote my share of tim and jason fics playing into fanon tropes. god i hate them *now* but they did fucking numbers.#and i used to care more about getting attention in fandom than being accurate#i've matured now. it's why i write on anonymous so much to remind myself this should be for me.#anyway i could do a character study on every batfam member as fanon vs canon#ESPECIALLY tim and jason. i know so much about them trust me.#jason todd fans annoyed me so much i once sat and read almost every fucking jason comic. i didn't even like him.#but i tell you what i know that man and he will never leave my top five characters on league of comics.#this is so long. is anyone going to read all of this.#if you do you're a fucking trooper i'm saluting you.#this isn't even all of my thoughts i had to condense myself.#bc i also have thoughts about how this means some characters no longer get to exist outside of the batfam#because they only exist as a member of the unit#ergo we have very little current content of helena bertinelli or onyx adams or duke thomas
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I'm gonna say something that 90% of you will hate but it's what's on my heart—now that we've seen Pedro and Vanessa speak in every interview about how this couple is so passionately in love and dedicated to each other and have been married for decades—I wish we could let this be the ONE Pedro character whose fanfic isn't completely overwhelmed by x reader fic instead of even consiiiidering respecting and exploring his canon relationship 😔
#i'm not dumb i know the answer to this will be: no#and that's fine bc it's a ME issue i guess#i just am already foreseeing myself having to blacklist his tag because i know this is going to bother me#just like i've had to filter joel's tag bc the unrecognizable ooc age gap dbf nonsense was literally making me like him less as a character#and it bums me out#the fandom experiences i came up in never involved reader fic so i'm still a little confused about how for so many people it's just#the default way to engage with canon material as a fan/writer#but it takes all kinds etc etc#i guess i just wish the canon relationship stuff didn't always feel shoved aside
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vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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You know what? People shouldn't feel bad about liking things in fandom, or creating things that make them happy. I'm absolutely vagueposting, but this really isn't about one post, it's about a tone I've noticed popping up again lately from multiple people (including people I follow and generally respect!)
-"They absolutely cannot fuck! So crazy people would think about that and be into it, it would break canon! "
-"Mod AU doesn't work, they're Serious Characters they aren't gonna run a coffee shop its OOC! "
-"Actually, fun fluffy fic about them at all during a certain era doesn't work!"
I get it. I agree with a fair part of it. People post all kinds of asinine shit that I hate actually. But you know where I bitch about it? Privately in group chat.
Let people fucking have fun. I get the sense that many people come to this fandom specifically because it's Serious and Challenging and you want to Do Serious Analysis. I think a lot of folks around these parts either are in school and not having a good time about it, or wish that they had gone into better academia that doesn't really exist, and they're getting that need met here. And that's great! For real!
But you know what else is fine? People who either don't have that need, or are getting it met in other parts of their lives, and come here for stress relief and a fun free hobby.
Of course they can't fuck for real! It's not in the text, they simply don't. But the tension is obviously written in, and playing with possibilities can be fun! Also if you can't see how it could happen and still not fix shit, that's a skill issue. Fic authors aren't stupid, we don't fail to understand canon, but not everything has to be everything all the time. Sometimes you want to do all the work and try to match the level of writing in the show, and sometimes you want to have something nice and easy. The show is REALLY well written and what it needs to be, the point of transformative works is playing with what it's NOT. Some people cope with fluff, or good ending everybody lives AUs, and it might be so totally valid to look down on that, but maybe being publicly correct might be less important than being kind?
Actually, the main thing I want to say is that if YOU reading this are a person who wants to write a cute coffeeshop AU, or be horny on main about your boys kissing, it's actually fine!! At least, it historically has been fine. This is a really small fandom now and not that many people are actively creating, please don't be discouraged by this stuff, because the people who criticize on tumblr are actually not the majority. The REASON they criticize is that, if you go to AO3 and sort by kudos, much of it is this super sweet OOC stuff! It looks like that's most of what there is, because a lot of readers in the wild who watch the show and look up fic like it!
Anyway. Let people have fun, it doesn't cost you anything, and not every thought needs to be public. It actually does discourage people.
#not ME lol i cannot be discouraged I am unstoppable#i'm not really even defending myself here at all believe it or not#like i do a specific thing and its not everybody's cup of tea but its generally not what's being complained about#anyway i know you're just stating your own opinion and what works and doesn't work for you and that's your right#i just think there are other ways to make the same points that don't make people feel bad about their fun relaxation thing#part of this is a cultural/generational difference about fandom I'm sure#i'm being a defensive den mom because I remember when fandom was supposed to be weird and silly and it was nice#(thank you kinkmeme that is the antidote to this mindset in some ways)#(i'm about to reveal/post my other thing later and its gonna be a hilarious followup to this in context)#again its not that anybody is wrong just there is room for all of the things maybe?#black sails#silverflint#i'm also gonna reblog this in a few minutes with some of my favorite just AWFUL did not fix ANYTHING fics#that i think would meet anybody's criteria of matching canon#just for funsies
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I know I've mentioned the Journal before, but this Saturday marks the one year anniversary of the day that I decided to play Alan Wake 2 for the first time, and my life changed for the better. I've used this journal to keep track of various gameplay stats (not pictured is the AW2 page where I'm literally keeping a tally of how many times I've played it which I'm in my tenth full playthrough); notes such as the stash puzzles, deer heads, etc though I still gotta finish the list of nursery rhymes and maps beyond cauldron lake; dreams I've had involving alan or anything remedy related; doodles and drawings (which is huge for me on a personal level cause I have this like. slightly traumatic experience with drawing early in my life that I won't go into detail here); and even a few poems I wrote...and I hadn't written poems since maybe high school.
This year has been rough on a personal level especially with work but like other cornerstone obsession's I've had, Alan's journey resonated with me on so many levels and gives me strength to keep going. The night I bought and played AW2 on a whim just because I saw a meme that "friendship ended with Silent Hill now Alan Wake 2 is my best friend" will go down as a tremendous turning point in my life. I was on a creative dry spell, I had stopped everything and never thought I'd start again, I had exiled myself from any sort of fandom space/interaction thinking I was poison, isolated myself to such a terrible degree from my family and friends, I was in such a deep depression and a new level of hopelessness than I had ever been in before, and I can just go on and on forever on how much this game means to me but the most important thing Alan Wake taught me is the beginning of the final draft, that realization that all is not lost, that my life is not just a loop of depression then fleeting joy then depression then fleeting joy then depression then fleeting joy (yes, sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar) and his monologue sums it up best:
A fictional poet once said "Beyond the shadow you settle for, there is a miracle, illuminated." I will not settle for a shadow. I will find the miracle, through the night. It's not just victims and monsters; I see now, there are heroes as well. We can find our way through the darkness. We will break through the surface and crash into the light.
#alan wake#alan wake 2#mk.op#was gonna wait till saturday but i'm in a VERY deeply reminiscent mood right now going back and reading some old posts#(not just from this past year but on my original blog)#and idk i've been seeing a lot of fandom related posts on my dash lately and as mentioned i kinda like.#exiled myself from fandoms at one point because by my own fault I think I got myself into too deep of a parasocial relationship#and paired with even just the slightest hints of rejection i panicked. overreacted. multiple times.#never realizing it was likely all just in my head (again my fault)#and so when i got into AW i lurked and liked and never talked#but then one day in march i said fuck it and posted a cap of ilkka screaming about him being wet#and out of all the fandoms i've been a part of even though i'm just a super small part#this has been the best experience ever#and i won't let myself ruin it this time
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leaving this here and running away but i don't actually hate coppola's 92 dracula. as a film, it unironically slaps. however. as an adaptation of the 1897 book 'dracula' by bram stoker, it IS objectively terrible
#if i'm getting out unpopular takes then my other one is i don't see lucy as particularly fashion forward or flowery#in my mind she's someone who's been given expensive dress after dress but she doesn't look after them and they fray and stain#(because she has money! she doesn't look after things!) so she often has a sort of expensive-ish but unkempt look#i just take her 'fashion is a bore' comment at its word idk. she doesn't care for it‚ she's never had to#whereas MINA is the one who thinks hard about what to wear and how she looks. it's how she has to navigate the world#this is very much my Personal (!!!) take this is Not to be inflammatory in the slightest#i just like fandom best when we all have wildly differing takes over all doing the same thing and having the same opinions#which........i do feel like the drac tag......does fall into.........sorry#i think differences keep things healthy#i also have many jonathan opinions but im keeping that to MYSELF i value my life
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