#it's like dAMN SON STEP ON ME WITH YOUR GLORIOUS ART

[askbakakira-blog]

hI GUYS PLEASE SEND SOME LOVE TO @letsaskfairandsquare THEY’RE AMAZING THEIR ART IS AMAZING THEY DESERVE SO MUCH MORE ATTENTION onegai AND THEY EXUDE SO MUCH GREATNESS THAT WALKS OVER ME EVERY OTHER DAY KYAAA did you know they draw with a mouse??

[writtenonreceipts]

a prompt?

single parent trope for feysand, pretty please?

more prompts for this would be great, otherwise you get my rambling mind and we all know how that goes...

Find my main masterlist here

#

An Intimate Display of Insecurities and Hopelessness

The air-conditioning was out.  Again.  And Feyre had already stripped down to a tank-top and shorts.  The heat was miserable.  

“Sweet mercy,” she muttered as she stood in front of the large fan she’d bought yesterday to try and keep things cool.  It wasn’t working.

Feyre brushed her hair from her sweaty brow and bit back a curse.  This day was not going at all the way she’d wanted it to.  It had taken her far to long to get anything started, not to mention coordinating with Elain on how she wanted to participate in the shop.

It was only three days to her deadline to get her shop up and running.  Three days to get pallets made, canvases designed, and interior design finished.  All in one-hundred-degree weather and boob sweat.

She turned back to the mess of her shop.  This was going to take more work than she had time for.  Or sanity.

The front door opened behind her with a clatter.  Feyre wasn’t that concerned about it, knowing she was getting some things delivered.

“Just leave the deliveries on the floor,” she said, not looking back.  She was trying to have a vision of what she was going to accomplish, a vision that would be epic and glorious.

“Excuse me?” 

Feyre spun at the smooth voice and nearly stumbled.  The most attractive man she’d ever seen was standing in her shop.  His black pants were crisp and cleanly lined and his black shirt was rolled up to the elbows, displaying his tanned skin.  He was tall, lean, and with his black hair swept neatly back.

Feyre felt sweat roll between her breasts.  Oh hell.

“Feyre Archeron?” He asked and took a step forward while holding out his hand. “Rhysand Avitas.  I’m the new building manager.”

A dozen curses ran through her head as she did her best to wipe her sweaty hand on her shorts inconspicuously.  Because of course she knew who Rhysand Avitas was.  Everyone in their small town did.  He was the son of the police chief and now the youngest elected mayor in Valeris history.

He had also been just a year ahead of Feyre in school.  So she knew the kind of person her was.  At least, she thought she did.

“Rhysand, of course,” she said as she took his hand. The heat didn’t seem to effecting him.  Jackass. “Sorry, I guess I lost track of time.”

Indeed, it was half-past two right when she’d told his assistant that he could come by the shop.  And see that everything was in order for her opening deadline.  Except she hadn’t really expected him to show up.  

“Not a problem.” He smiled in such a charming way that Feyre found herself wanting to hate him.

But Feyre already did hate him.  He had bought the building just two days after her father’s death.  Just two days after the building was up for sale.  She hadn’t even had the time to get funds together to convince the bank that she could buy the lease herself.  Now, she was going to have to open her shop under him.

In school he had been captain of the football team, president of the ASB club.  He had been the kind of person Feyre had never wanted to interact with.  High and mighty, proud and cruel.  He’d worn a mask of indifference to anyone beneath him, she was convinced.

Feyre cleared her throat. “Things are a little messy right now, but it’ll be ready for opening day on Monday.”

Rhysand nodded as he walked around the shop.  Bits of wood crunched under his too fancy shoes and dust clung to his pants when he brushed up against one of the pallets that Feyre was still trying to decide how to convert into a display case.

“You’re a painter, correct?” he asked.  He looked over his shoulder at her and Feyre was taken aback by his eyes.  Bright blue—so bright that she could have sworn they were violet.  And damn her if she didn’t want to at least try and draw them.

“Yes,” she replied. “My sister does some gardening and does floral arrangements and I’m planning on having her sell some of her work here as well.”

“I remember,” he said, “Mrs. Ellis always made sure all of her classes knew about her protegee.”

Feyre rolled her eyes.  The high school art teacher had been someone no one really liked.  Aside from her.  Maybe it was just because Feyre had wanted someone to pay attention to her, but the woman had always been nice to Feyre.

“My work wasn’t that good back then,” she said.  And it was true, it had taken years of study and experimentation to get to where she was now.  Ten years after those miserable high school years and here she was, finally maybe a little bit confident with what she could do.

Rhysand said nothing, only observed.  “And you’re sure you’ll be ready by Monday?  No offense Miss Archeron, but it seems like a lot needs to be taken care of.  You assured the bank, and my assistant, that your shop was worth allowing in the complex.”

Feyre’s mouth pursed as she watched his man before her.  With his impeccable clothing, that silver watch on his wrist, it was hard to imagine that he’d had any hardships in his life.

“Yes, and I keep my word,” she said, her voice cold enough to rival any a/c.  “What I would like to know is why the air conditioning still isn’t fixed.  It’s been this way for a week now.”

“It’s being looked into,” Rhysand said. 

His gaze turned sharp as he looked her over again.  Something passed over his face that Feyre didn’t care to try and understand.  She just wanted this man out of her shop so she could get back to work.

“Was there something in specific that you wanted to discuss?” she asked, “or were just interested in questioning my ability to run a shop?”

He smirked at her and shook his head. “You always did have that fire in you, didn’t you?”

Feyre was ready to tell him to get out when a soft cry caught her attention.  She held up a finger to silence him as she listened.  Maybe she’d imagined it.  Hell, she hoped he’d imagined it.  Unfortunately the cry came again.

“Just a minute,” she said.

She hurried to the back of the shop where a door led into what would be used for the breakroom.  It was a few degrees cooler back there, which was why she’d set it up for it’s current use.

Sitting up in the pack-and-play was her daughter.  Seren with her golden hair and large blue eyes looked up at her and cried again.

“Momma!” 

Immediately, Feyre scooped her daughter up.  Seren latched on with a snake-like grip.  Her arms wound around Feyre’s neck tightly.

“Hi baby,” Feyre murmured.  “Why are you awake?”

It had only been a half hour since Feyre’d put her down, she’d been hoping for at least one hour of uninterrupted work.

Seren said nothing and only whimpered into Feyre’s neck.  As Feyre whispered to her daughter to sooth her, she went back out into the main part of the store to find the diaper bag she’d packed that morning.  In one of the insulated pockets, she found a bottle of apple juice.

“Here, honey,” Feyre said.  Seren snatched the bottle and began drinking, tears still rolling down her cheeks. “Okay, there we go.  Momma need to talk to Mr. Avitas okay, can you let me do that?”

Seren nodded and the almost two-year-old tucked herself right against Feyre’s neck.

Pressing a kiss to her daughter’s forehead, Feyre turned back to Rhysand who stood right where she’d left him.  The hard look in his eyes was gone and whatever hard-ass talk he was no doubt going to deliver evaporated.

“It seems I was wrong,” Rhysand said, “you do have some help, don’t you?”

Seren wiggled in Feyre’s arms to get a better look at the man, her bottle sticking in one cheek.

“Momma,” Seren said, her voice just slightly muffled.

“Yes, you are my big helper,” Feyre agreed, “even when you get into my paints.”

Seren beamed up at her. “I help.”

Feyre snorted a bit of laughter.  Help.  Sure.  There were some painted handprints on the wall that aid otherwise.

“Did you have any other concerns you needed to address, Mr. Avitas?” Feyre asked.

He seemed so taken aback that Feyre had had her daughter in the back room napping that it took him a moment to speak again.  It would have been amusing if the man hadn’t been so annoying to begin with.

“She looks just like you,” Rhysand said.

That was the last thing Feyre’d expected.  She quirked a brow at the man.  She knew it was true.  Seren, thank the heavens, looked like an Archeron.  There was barely a trace of her father.  Something Feyre would give thanks for every day.

Feyre heart gave a painful squeeze.  Of course that was what he meant.

She met his gaze, holding it for a long moment.  Her hold on Seren tightened automatically, something she always did when she remembered her baby’s father. 

“Yes, she does,” she whispered.  Feyre wondered what Rhysand could possibly know.  When she’d moved back to Valeris two years ago, just after she’d found out she was pregnant, she scrubbed her life clean of that man.  Rhysand couldn’t possibly know who the father was.  Even if he did, he shouldn’t care.

“Right,” he muttered and ran a hand through his hair. Once again, an un definable look flashed over his features, and disappeared just as quickly.  “I’ll see what I can do about the air-conditioning.”

“Good,” Feyre said, “I’d hate to have to delay opening.”

And much to her surprise, Rhysand laughed.  “Of course not.  That would be rather inconvenient, wouldn’t it?”

He turned back to the door and looked as though he would leave without saying anything else, until he paused. He seemed to be having an internal dilemma when he looked back to Feyre.

“If there is anything I can help with, let me know.”

The words were halting and careful.  Feyre wasn’t sure how to read them, how to respond.  So she only nodded.

#

i wanted to add more to this for the first part, but well here we are...

tags

@aelinchocolatelover // @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx // @bamchickawowow // @ireallyshouldsleeprn // @courtofjurdan // @sassys-world // @sleeping-and-books // @superspiritfestival // @chieflemming // @julemmaes // @lysandra-ghost-leopard // @firestarsandseneschals // @emikadreams // @rapunzel1523 // @booksofthemoon // @highladysith // @fangirlprincess09 // @rowaelinismyotp // @vanzetanze // @jlinez // @cassianscool // @stardelia // @my-fan-side // @sjmships // @tillyrubes10 // @acourtofsjmtrash // @hellasblessed // @rhysandswhore  //  @story-scribbler  // @post-it-notes33 // @live-the-fangirl-life // @strangevil321 // @whythefuckdoiexist // @pastasiren // @beanco8 // @lemonade-coolattas @foreverfallingforthestars // @surielandiareendgame // @feysand-loml

[kth1]

Get Jinxed [MYG]

beautiful, gorgeous, glorious banner made by the talented queen @dee-ehn​ - thank you so much for making my thoughts come to life in your edit!

Get Jinxed  [Yoongi x Reader] ⟶ Credit: @kimtaehyunq​ ⟶ Genre: Angst | Smut | 21+ | Cyberpunk AU | One Shot ⟶ Warnings: pwp, sorta old lovers to enemies to lovers, cocky yoongi, mentions of weapons, criminal activities, hopeless romantic OC, rough sex, over simulation, multi-orgasms, public indecency, unprotected, creampie, etc,  ⟶ WC: 4.7k+ ⟶ Summary: A rouge ex officer of the law - Yoongi - has twisted his ways into causing mayhem across towns. You are the high and mighty officer who seeks revenge on Yoongi’s ways; considering that he not only turned against the city in which he grew up in, striping all chances of reforming himself, he also stole your heart. ⟶ Teaser: “He hushes you with a hand, his teeth nipping eagerly around your clavicles. “Shh,” he warns with a devilish glint, “We’re in public, Y/n.” He chuckles, mouth coming back to kiss against your jaw.” ⟶ Beta Reader: Thank you so so so very much for taking on this task very very very last minute @chillingtae​ I am so thankful for you to accept this role, and thank you for helping me through this fic! I owe you! ♡ ⟶ Author’s note: Written for @houseofddaeng​‘s Agust D Anniversary Event. Was my first time touching elements of a cyberpunk!au. 

Rain casts a veil over your sight as you stare deeply into the silhouette across the murky alleyway; the figure before you surveys the one-of-a-kind hextech rifle aiming right at their head. Glistening neon lights flood your peripherals, puddles reflecting fractions of radiance between the cracks of the split bricks under your very feet. The chill of cold water drenches your attire, even the cap resting on your head leaks streams down the sides of your face.

“How could you!” You choked out between your teeth; loud enough over the pounding rain, loud enough to cut the man in front of you as if your words are daggers.

The rifle that deemed you the best shot in the city has no comparison to your superior intellect. Your wits earned you the way through the rankings and nobody, no criminal or lawbreaker were foolish enough to cross your path. You are known as Vopamis City’s finest peacekeeper and your oath is embedded deep within your family roots.

You’re the sheriff of a thriving, escalating city where art, craftsmanship, trade, and metamorphosis were built and centered from. Vopamis is and forever will be a reinventing city where dreams are lived to the fullest extent and treasures are found around every corner. It sits on top of the distrusted city of Tapos, an undercity district – which used to be once united but now no more – buried deep within canyons weaved below.

You press your words and force the air to pass through your clutching windpipe, “Fuckin’ answer me you son of a bitch!”

The figure sighs with a step forward, rolling their head out of annoyance but once their eyes meet yours in the light you knew all breath escaped your chest.

“Hi, Y/n.”

The dangerous bright orange hair stands out like no other, just like the cocky grin that emits the same tone as his two-toned eyes does. One is dull brown with crystalized specks of white, the other a piercing topaz yellow; a hard contrast between his natural dark pupil – all of which made those eyes captivating.

You fear this moment every day ever since that terrible day. It haunts you; it scares you; it hurts you. Yet here you are, face to face with the man who solemnly swept the valuable, rich rug right out from under you and ran with it. With betrayal and pain coursing through your veins you sought out his existence every single day to get revenge on the one person you thought you truly once loved.

With your rifle adjusted point blank, with the help of the glowing red laser to the center of his forehead, you show no signs of backing down from your stance. The rain beats heavily though your heart pounds harder inside your chest.

He looks just how you remember him; black under-cut still very much unkempt, a piercing jabbed through one eyebrow and two into the cartilage on the same side of his nose. His oversized cryptic jacket hides his frame well, decorated in all sorts of patches, widgets, and spikes that have their own metallic shine to them. You swear you see the edgings of tattoos creeping up the sides of his neck, exactly how you recall them.

Those unforgiving thick soled boots kick up the water around his steps as he inches out of the shadows, “It’s been a while.”

You ignore him just like he ignores your first sentence, “How could you do this?!”

He shrugs with amusement dressing his face, “Why ask me questions you already have answers to, Y/n?”

With glares meeting another in a standoff stare he halts his walk five feet in front of you. Unphased by the downpour of smogged twilight rain, you twist your finger around the trigger of your trusty gun. “You stole for the black markets, betrayed your city and me, ran off to the unstable technologies and reckless constructions of the polluted and gangrenous Tapos. Why!?”

“You seem to be a bit vindictive.” He snickers, swiping a hand through his soaked locks. “I was bored.”

Bored.

Your grip tightens around your rifle, you can’t tell if you are shaking from the cold of the rain or the anger raging throughout your body. His words made your heart sink to the pit of your stomach.. “Yoongi!” You hiss with a harsh tone, blood boiling under your very skin.

He steps again, hand clutching the barrel of your gun and aligning the end against his forehead. Yoongi looks at you with teasing eyes and a wide, wirily smile. He is testing you - taunting you. “I know you won’t do it. You won’t pull the trigger.” That blunt topaz eye drills back into yours, enticing and enchanting all at once. “How many times have you seen me in the streets? Stealing from this filthy, pathetic excuse of a renowned city? How many times did you watch me walk by doing whatever I damn well please? Why are you stopping me now? What changed?”

To what you believe you are holding out strong, insisting you have the upper hand and all control. But you are frozen, unpredictably iced in place from where you stand. Only to stare back at the man that your heart swells and aches for. Yoongi doesn’t wait for you to answer as he already knows every single move and step you have going for you.

“It’s only been two months.” He states with a soft smile, lowering and pushing aside the gun in your grasp. “One of the most determined and skilled investigators of all Vopamis. Filled with ferocity and a strong sense of justice and resolution. Falls right into the footsteps of each and every one of your family members. They reinforced their ideals of right and wrong on you so much that it’s practically branded across your forehead.”

Yoongi spits to the side, tilting his head to watch your face with all his rambling. He has proven himself in such a small-time frame of how impulsive he can be, going from a trusted high ranked officer of the law to a merciful criminal who now wreaks havoc without care. Buildings burn in his name as he always made sure to leave a massive trail of mayhem and panic in his wake, never seized to end his rampage with the biggest explosions – which soon became his signature.

You loved him ever since the day you two joined the academy together. Yoongi excelled in everything from hextech inventions to architectural research. Vopamis has become a magnet for the most skilled craftsmen from all over the world and the more restricted and dangerous ones fell into the toxic runoff of Tapos. Now, Yoongi’s schemes have inspired copycat crimes among the chem-punks, a movement in which he predicted after labeling righteous wordings on structures throughout both cities. Some followers have blindly followed his persona named ‘X’.  In a crafty way each successful heist has a small piece left for the police to find; a personable note that always says, “get jinxed.”

Standing helplessly at the mercy of your own heart your head drops, eyes casting to the drenched road. Everything in your righteous mind tells you to take him in, lock him up – it is your job and duty to do this as you are one with the law. But your poor, fragile heart is gapping open from the piece that was ripped away by Yoongi.

“You’re right.” You whisper softly.

“I know.”

All the times you allowed him to do what he continues to do because you didn’t have it in you to send him to jail. As you watch him become the criminal he is now, refusing to stop his acts even though the justice and pride within you screams for you to act on your instincts. “Everything you’re saying is right.”

Yoongi raises his hand, palm facing up and holding a chemtech explosive bullet that swirls a cobalt blue liquid inside. Instantaneously you knew exactly what the bullet is – the meaning behind it, and all of the precious memories came flooding back all at once.

The bullet was no longer than two inches and has a hole drilled through the piece to lace a chain through it. Yoongi wears it as a charm to his bracelet and even in the dark of the rainy night with neon lights flashing around you, you can still see the small etchings of both of your initials on the tip of the bullet. It was his first ever fully functional bullet he crafted back at the academy and he had dedicated that piece of craftsmanship to you.

“I still love you, you know.” Yoongi’s voice stills your breath, deep and stern. With all seriousness he openly speaks with a stony face as you look up to him. “I never stopped.”

You avert your eyes away from the nostalgic piece which lies in Yoongi’s palm and the heat of your breath fans out into the open cool air in a puff of smoke. It hurts your heart, all your pent-up revenge brought out a disgusting angry monster from within you. You’re blinded by the law and blinded by the admiration of love for Yoongi.

“You don’t.” You counter with a hiss.

Raindrops hide away the streams of tears that break down the brims of your eyes and you refuse to keep your eyes open in the slim chance of giving Yoongi the satisfaction of your glistening orbs filling with hurt. As much as you secretly hope and want – need – Yoongi to say those words, they still simmer a splitting pain inside of your delicate heart.

Yoongi’s tatted, calloused hand aimlessly raises to your face, his knuckles brushing against the curve of your cheek. Surprisingly, you don’t flinch at the contrasting and unexpected warmth that’s responsible for heating up that side of your face. Instead you find yourself helplessly leaning into the contact, your shaking hand still holding your trusty gun at your side.

“It’s funny,” Yoongi scoffs, forcing your eyes to jolt in his direction of his action.

You burn a glare at him while he inspects your face, your blood boiling underneath all of your drenched clothes and cold skin. Yoongi sounds a quick ‘tsk’ as disapproval while his fingers glide down the column of your neck. “So funny that you question everything I say and do.”

The fact that he has your rendered frozen in place under the heavy weather and his intimidating presence only confirms his suspicions. He wasn’t lying to you and you knew that, right? You swallow thickly at the bright orange haired man in front of you, eyes casting down to shrink your frame.

You sneer back, “Can you blame me? You ruined your chances of being an officer – all that hard work you put in means nothing now. You destroyed all your chances of being a citizen of Vopamis. And all because you were bored.” In the back of your mind no matter how many hours you had pondered his reasonings to derail into a criminal, what hurt you the most wasn’t the fact he chose this path of being a high risk offender – it is the reality of him leaving you behind as if nothing about your relationship between another is important to him as it was to you.

Yoongi cocks an amused eyebrow, a smirk quick to follow. “Hm, yes. I wasn’t bored with you though, Y/n. Truthfully, knowing that you’ll be hot on my trail at all times – no matter where I went – made this new life even more fun. You enjoy chasing me?” He swipes his tongue through the small opening of his lips, two-toned eyes glare at the small line of tattoos up the back of your own ear. He tilts your jaw with his thumb, exposing more of your smooth damped skin.

Under Yoongi’s hand you feel like a marionette; damned against his ministrations and at how weak you feel towards him. You can see your vision blur around the edges, your sight honing on the glowing eye that stares at you with interest. Another puff of fog seeps out of your mouth from a released breath that you held in for far too long. You don’t acknowledge the way your limbs grew numb by the minute or the way your bottom lip trembles from your constant shivers. You are only focusing on the way the warmth of the pads of his fingers emits onto your skin and gives you a sliver of assurance.

“Have I ruined this too?” Yoongi questions in a whisper, eyes projecting down to your cold lips.

Everything in your mind tells you to scream at him, tell Yoongi ‘yes, you completely and utterly ruined every single aspect of my life,’ but the words cannot crawl their way up your throat and form the sounds you need. Instead your face reacts with pain, all of your walls and defenses breaking down around you and your rifle drops to the puddled ground underneath you.

He can read you like a book, study your features, and pull each intricate and thin string of your heart. He plays you like a fiddle with a crooked smile, a knowing look to his face where all his intuitions of you feeling something towards him are all riddled true. It’s dressed all over your face, your body leaning closer to his, the look to your eyes – glistening or not.

His thumb taps lightly against your bottom lip, popping it open from the stern line your mouth was creating. You gulp with anticipation, your surrounding areas become less and less in vision of your peripheral and your eyes can only bore straight back into Yoongi’s; pupils dilating rapidly.

“No…”

Your solo word shakes out with a heavy breath at the same time Yoongi’s other hand comes to grab your elbow and pull you closer to him. The heat radiating off of him is met between you with a strikingly fast kiss, but the kiss was tentative at best. Even reading all of your body gestures, the way your posture changes when it comes to his proximity invading your territories, Yoongi still approached with cocky confidence. He knows he has you around his finger, around his hand and more.

‘You weren’t ruined, yet,’ he thought. But Yoongi is all too excited to violate whatever purity of the law that is still laced within your morals.

He’s eager to shove his deadly tongue into the first parting of your mouth, a gasp of excitement releasing through a moan. You forget about the downpour of rain around the two of you, the chill of the air cutting through your clothes, even forgetting the blaring neon signs illuminating the paths around this alleyway. Your mind is intoxicated with the savvy orange haired, corrupted, and dangerous man who has swindled his way within the burrows of each city and the cavities of your heart.

A single tear traces down your cheek as your arms link around Yoongi’s neck, your body completely caving into the man before you. With the motion Yoongi backs the two of you up until you're hidden well enough in the darkness. His hand cocks your head to the side as he leaves wet open-mouthed kisses as he pushes you against the side of the building. His lips heat your skin up and send an involuntary chill of goosebumps down your body.

You breath out into the air while your senses adjust to the new sensations of want and need being applied to your form. “Yoongi –“

He hushes you with a hand, his teeth nipping eagerly around your clavicles. “Shh,” he warns with a devilish glint, “We’re in public, Y/n.” He chuckles, mouth coming back to kiss against your jaw.

You muffle a noise of acknowledgement, or a moan of pleasure from the sharp suck Yoongi plants against the sweet spot under your ear. Your arms grip him tighter, pulling him flush against your front to be as close as possible. Without hesitation your hands link up the back of his head, fingers carding through the disheveled drenched locks for a nice pull.

Both of your clothes stick to you like a second skin, suctioned to your own bodies and you desperately want them ripped off. Yoongi hisses at the yank of his head. Sensing your actions as an emergency he huffs a laugh your way, “Yeah? What do you want?” He removes the hand across your mouth only to shove his thumb into it, pressing down against your tongue. “Is this righteous mouth going to tell me something?”

You comply by action with the decision of closing your mouth around his finger and sucking it with delight. Yoongi praises you with words of assurance, biting down on the flesh of his own bottom lip. He leans into you, hips grinding instantly against your frontside. The uneven gyrating of wet fabrics causes a rough and uncomfortable friction, but it was something that helped direct attention toward your neglected core.

Yoongi lifts up your slicked shirt just enough to fondle around the waistband of your pants in search of unhinging your duty rig belt. “You’re going to be a good girl, right?” His eyes give you a knowing look as his thumb detaches from your trap. Nodding, you seek his mouth once more to savor the warmth between you two. “Vopamis’ finest,” he quotes in a mocked tone.

“I love you.”

Your confession halts Yoongi for a brief moment between kisses, his hand stalls as it breaches a few inches inside the front of your pants. He has you pinned against the rough brick of a building in the outskirts of the city with your freezing, aching body under his frame. Your mouth and legs so willing to open up for him.

This is the very first time he’s seen you so ‘not yourself’ in all the years he has known you, even when the fondness blossomed more between the two of you. Whichever relationship the two of you were in – it wasn’t exclusive but it surely is implied – has become completely manipulated to the public eye. Yoongi’s urgency falters for a moment, a flashback to a simpler time where the underlying love and sweetness emitting from the two of you has no boundaries. But as fast as that memory exposes itself, it was easily covered in his future thoughts. His enjoyment of being who he is now, what he wants to achieve, obtain, and take.

With your face plastering across all walls of his mind, he smirks excessively as if he is pleased with himself. He has everything he wants, and he’s greedy for more. No matter what Yoongi does with himself he knows he’ll have you regardless – and right now is proving that theory.

He leans forward to plant another kiss to your appetizing lips once more, “I know you do.”

Quickly, Yoongi flips you in your place in one quick motion, yanking down a portion of your pants once you catch yourself against the wall. Your eyes scan frantically to the opening of the alleyway, silently praying nobody stumbles upon the two of you in this indecency act – especially how your rifle lays still on the ground in the opening.

The air breezes across your now exposed cheeks, and with a firm hand Yoongi shoves against your lower back forcing you to bend forward enough to reveal your core. Gasping, you shudder under the sudden invasion of his cold clammy palm molding on top of your cunt. Your hands held you up against the wall, pants pulled only to your lower thighs preventing the spread your legs most desperately needed.

Slowly, Yoongi’s fingers prod along your slit, dipping directly between your folds the moment they come in contact with your dampness. He shushes you once again with the ruggedness of his voice while you hear the clinking of what you assume to be his belt buckle.

He wastes no time sinking a finger straight into your entrance, only after giving your clit a moments time of blissful pleasure – gone far too quick for your liking. His digit glides easily, enticing him with the next stroke to join a second. Your mouth hangs open with heated pants, your lower stomach jumping excitedly at the intimacy of your loved one, and your hips chase the stride of his fast pace.

“Shit, Yoongi!” you curse under your breath, feeling his free hand now snaking up your side under your shirt. His fingers alone create such friction that has your head lolling to the side and your inners clutching erratically. You don’t question your urgency, the impatient nature your body so willingly falls into, not when Yoongi is inches behind you lining up his engorged head to replace his fingers.

The two of you don’t care about the surrounding areas, too filled with lust. Too drunk on the idea of Yoongi coming back to you – and he is too excited knowing he has you in his clutches.

Heat courses throughout your core and abdomen, running down each of your limbs the moment his hips are pressed against your backside, dick submerged in one swift jolt forward. You lose your footing, falling further into the wall as your forearms plant into the building. A guttural moan leaks out of him the moment you yelp and squirm under him. His fingers desperately hold around your waist as he straightens his back, giving the next few experimental thrusts the slower motion your pussy needed from his harsh action.

Yoongi’s hip snaps back into you, bringing the flesh of your ass into the seat of his lap. He seethes through his teeth, “Fuckin’ hell!”

You’re restricted from widening your legs no thanks to your pants locking you in place, but this also gives a tighter sensation against his swollen cock. He doesn’t give you too much time to recuperate and catch your bearings, too honest with his mission and surging forward to bring the two of you to the brink.

“Stand,” he grunts with an arm circling around your waist. With his help you’re press flush against the wall and his chest, completely stuck between two hard places. Yoongi’s pace is rapid, the slaps of skin melt into the sounds of the fallen raindrops. It’s not long for his cock to jam pleasantly into the sweet spots within your silky walls, his thrusts determined to continue their gyrating motion deep inside you.

He chuckles at the lewd moans you release, head tilted back against his shoulder as you breath for air. “You really don’t care if someone hears you, huh? What do you think they’ll do, seeing the best shot in town being railed by a rogue criminal?”

Yoongi’s words course through your ear, his teeth coming to bite the flesh behind it. Your mind is too cloudy to think straight, not when he was inside of you both physically and emotionally. “T-they’ll hate me.”

“Is that so?”

You hum because that’s all you can do. The knot tightens in your stomach, the dull ache between your legs distorting itself into an electrifying spark has you cursing Yoongi’s name to go faster, harder. Yoongi feels you tightening around his prodding cock, only causing him to buck into you rougher.

Orange locks find their way between your fingers, tightening your grip on his hair the faster that band within you reaches towards its peak. “Yes! Yes, yes, please –“

The moment your body feels his inked fingers sneak their way to your clit, pinching it harshly, pulls a shriek of pleasure from your throat. Your body snaps under him – back arching as your walls clasp around his cock. “A-ah!” you shout while your orgasm rushes to all corners of your body, a tingly sensation vibrating through every fiber of your being.

Yoongi smirks as his pace doesn’t halt, now latching both of his hands to your hips he directs all movements. He enjoys your dispute of over-sensitivity, knowing how much you secretly like it from all the times in the past.

“One more, I know you have it in you. I’ve seen it before.” His voice is rough, any tang of sweetness swept away. “I’ll continue to fuck into this pussy until you cum again.”

Without stopping for a breather your body rushes into overdrive, it continues to squirm in his grasps and your legs shake dangerously underneath you. All thoughts of remaining quiet have gone out the window. Your second orgasm is set to fire, ready to be kicked off the edge into infinity, and with one quick shove of Yoongi’s cock that sinks all the way to ram into your cervix has you keening over and over.

Your pussy pulsates around his dick inconsistently, holding onto the appendage like a vice. It triggers his frenzy, his release spilling deep inside your well spent walls with dirty grunts. His arms hold around you tightly, helping you stand straight and to assist himself at the same time. Together both of your breathes are resounded, heated air escaping around the two of you in puffs of smoke.

You wince when his softening cock slips out of you, leaving gravity to aid in the way his cum drips casually out of your hole. Yoongi doesn’t allow you to turn and face him before he’s hoisting up your bottoms, the fabrics too annoyingly drenched to feel comfortable against your skin.

When you finally turn to speak to him he’s already readjusting his pants up along his hips, securing the button to his pants as he eyes you for a quick second. His hair is even more of a mess than before, no doubt you looked remotely better.

Dropping your mouth to talk, Yoongi averts his gaze to your rifle laying to the side. “Yoongi, I –“

“Don’t.”

His eyes narrow at the device that labels the reality of everything, where the two of you stand no matter how much you tango with another. A snort leaves him as he finishes off the buckle to his belt and you can tell by the way his facial features flicker than he’s having a complicated inner dialog going on inside his mind.

“Yoongi!” You press, grabbing hold of his shoulders to shake him slightly. “Yoongi please look at me, please don’t walk away from me.”

After a deep breath he exhales slowly, blank eyes now directed at you. There’s confusion painted over your face from the way you aren’t understanding why Yoongi suddenly steps even closer to place another kiss onto your lips, but it causes you to stop thinking momentarily. His lips, plump and plush, are the only things you can think about – until he’s pulling away too fast.

Back now facing you, he strides down the alley in which you found him. As if this heated interaction, and everything it consisted of, seized to exist anymore – the time has passed.

You take a wobbly step in his direction, hand reaching towards the figure that distances itself further from your grasp. “Yoongi, please!” You cry.

Behind you is your rifle, only feet away, and in front of you is the man you continuously chase. You’re torn between the two, the feeling of your mind splitting in half causing you to have a mental debacle with yourself. You scream with frustration; tears stream down your face at what your heart truly wants.

To stop the criminal at large or to join him?

You didn’t notice how Yoongi stops in his tracks, head tilted to look behind him with his piercing yellow eye standing out through the darkness. He watches you curiously, the environment around the two of you officially draws itself back into reality. Once he hears your scream of defeat he completely turns to face you with the widest grin smeared across his mouth.

“Hey, Y/n...” He pauses to wait until he knows you’re listening to him – and of course you immediately do so. Yoongi cocks his head to the side with a sense of arrogance radiating from the way his body stood. You desperately look at him with a plea, but your facial features harden at his next words. And they lace, deadly, within your mind.

Yoongi sighs, running one of his hands through his hair. Again, he knows he already has you, ruined you, and now he completely and absolutely owns you whether you like it or not. Yoongi playfully lifts his fingers to cross them together, a sign of a heart sent straight to you, “Get jinxed.”

© All rights reserved under @kimtaehyunq​ - do not copy, repost, modify, edit, or translate any of my work without my direct consent. This tumblr is the ONLY place my fics are posted.

[whereisten]

Porcelain

A Yangyang fic that’s part of our Halloween Series! 

Summary: After a falling out with your friends, you wander into a forest and find a mysterious mansion with an even more mysterious inhabitant, Yangyang. 

Pairing: rich boy!Yangyang x female reader 

Genre: romance, fluff, fantasy, mystery, suspense, drama

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: Violence

(A/N): hey y’all! So the timing for posting this story worked out so well because it’s Yangyang’s birthday (in America!) :D Anyway, this is our second story for our Halloween Series for NCT 2020 and we hope you enjoy!  I’m so excited to be writing for one of my biases. I know my writing needs a lot of work but I hope you guys enjoy it. Yangyang is precious. Stan Yangyang, y’all. Shoutout to Krys for inspiring me everyday and for proofreading my story! You are my rock!

_______

It was October 10, the day in which your small town came together for a big bonfire to celebrate the fall season. Your town of Celestial was known for celebrating something every week but the atmosphere was always special at this time of the year. Classes ended for the week and your friends were excited to go to a party in the woods.

Unfortunately for you, you were abandoned off the side of the road after having a falling out with your friends Dowoon and Sana for blowing off the mayor’s son’s party. You’d recently been rebuffed by him in the senior hallway. Your rejection was followed by your classmates mocking you all day long. You wouldn’t be caught dead at Peter’s party. And you were especially in no mood to put up with your friends’ preference for a good party over their recently spurned friend’s feelings.

You said screw them but they would probably end up screwing each other anyway. They were platonic but their drunken hookups always said otherwise. So sometimes you felt like a third wheel. Which was also why you didn’t want to go. You wanted a new experience this spooky season. And you were probably getting one now that you were 2 miles outside of town. Damn your pride. Dowoon and Sana insisted you get back in the car but the driver, the school quarterback, quickly drove them off. What a sense of community, you thought.

It was freezing in Celestial at this time of year so you were layered up, saving your pair of ruby red mittens for last. The overcast sky appeared to promise snowfall. If not for tonight, the snow would surely fall tomorrow

You knew this area well enough to walk back into town but as you took a few steps forward, you noticed smoke in the distance. Like it was coming from a chimney.

That was odd, you thought. Who lived on this side of town?

As you walked in the direction of the smoke, you moved past the dense evergreen trees and before you knew it, you stumbled upon a mansion out of an old-time movie. Dating back to at most the 1800s. The mansion was a Renaissance chateau, big and domineering. Something that could’ve made Celestial a tourist destination like Asheville had with the Biltmore Estate.

How was it possible that anyone could live here, you thought. Surely, this would be the talk of the town if anyone knew. And if it was off-limits, it would’ve certainly kept the town on their toes.

The mansion was quiet and there was no trace of movement or inhabitants. Then again, it was large so you could be incorrect. The chateau’s main entrance was big and made of the most pristine marble. The only thing missing was a moat. There were several fountains in the entrance. The water froze due to the colder weather. You didn’t understand how you could keep moving forward. You didn’t know this place. You didn’t know who could be inside. But you found yourself taking steps up to the massive double doors. Your hand moved to the doorknob and turned it over. The door creaked open and without a second thought, you walked in.

The door slammed shut behind you but you weren’t afraid. In fact, you were mesmerized by the atmosphere of the mansion. From the outside the mansion looked preserved like a fine piece of art in a high-surveillance museum: cold and unwelcoming and way out of your price range. But on the inside, it felt...warm and bright. It felt like home. It smelled of cinnamon and freshly baked bread.

You walked through the entryway and found everything illuminated by candle light. There was no indication of light from the outside. It was almost as if the real goings-on were hidden from the outside world.  

There were shoes at the entrance. You took your boots off to not track dirt into the residence. Winter coats were hung up on the coat rack. You hang your coat up as well. There was a half-full cup of tea that was beside the sofa of the sitting room. You admired the interior: the expansive first floor library, the dining room table that sat seven, the pristine kitchen area, the music room...

As you stood in the doorway of the music room, you heard the sounds of a violin playing a somber but sweet melody. Rather than grow alarmed, you longed to find the source, thinking that whatever it was could only bring you joy.

The music room was massive, with a skylight in the shape of a spade on the ceiling. The sunset colors of the sky never looked more stunning than they did at that moment.  A grand piano lay at the center. You longed to touch it but something inside you warned you against it. Instruments of all kinds were splayed across the area. But there was no violin in sight.

When you turned around to continue exploring the mansion, that was when you found the source of the music.

A boy about your age stood before you with his violin rested against his collarbone. He continued to play as he smiled knowingly at you. He had straight brown hair that nearly fell into his warm brown eyes. He donned a black tuxedo that was more regal than modern. His eyes crinkled as he watched you, delighted to meet such a beautiful stranger.

You nearly jumped at his presence. “Who…are you?”

Quirking an eyebrow, he replied as he continued playing, “I should be asking you that. You’ve broken into our home.”

“Our?” You asked.

He shook his head. “What brings you here, miss?”

You knew you’d been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to  but you couldn’t help it. This place called out to you and you’d hoped you could stay longer. But it looked like your time was up. You lamely said, “I…need to borrow your phone.”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re referring to. What’s this ‘phone’ you speak of?” His refined voice was not like that of the locals. He sounded well-traveled, worldly. But definitely from a long time ago. 

The more you spoke to this young man, the more you realized that he didn’t sound like he lived in the same century as you.

You frowned. “You don’t know what a phone is? Come on, you’re kidding, aren’t you?”

He halted from playing and gave you a look. “Tell me. What is a phone?”

“…It’s a device that lets you speak to someone who isn’t with you…” You attempted an explanation that was as eloquent as possible, thinking that if you spoke in a more refined tone, he would get what you were saying. Where on earth could this boy have been from to not know what a phone is? He really sounded like someone from a century past.

“Like a medium?” He asked as he set his violin down in its case. He put his hands in his pockets as he walked slowly back to you. Your breathing stalled as his face was mere inches from yours. He was indeed very handsome. His high cheekbones. His glorious tan skin. A pearly white set of teeth. His legs were dangerously long as he faced you.

Your face warmed up and you hoped he couldn’t tell. You backed away as you locked your eyes on the piano instead. “No…It’s like if I were two miles away from here and you needed to get a hold of me, you could use a phone to contact me on another phone. It’s an electronic device.”

He nodded. “Oh, I’ve heard of those…My family and I could not acquire them, unfortunately.” His expression became sad, longing.

Hearing his defeated voice, you turned to him. “Oh, I’m sorry. Why is that?”

He looked at you, defeated. “I’d rather not say, miss…”

“Y/n,” you answered.

“Y/n,” he replied, liking the sound of your name.

“It’s okay,” you replied, “I should probably go…I’ve overstayed my welcome, sir….Your name?”

“Yangyang,” he answered, anticipating the sound of his name off of your lips.

“Yangyang…Would it be possible to get a ride back into town? I can pay you for your trouble.”

He smiled apologetically. “My sincerest apologies but I’ve no means to take you.”

“Oh…” It was all you could say.

You felt a small pang of worry at the pit of your stomach, especially now that night had fallen. Perhaps, you could make your way back into town if Yangyang offered you a torch. He would have that much, at the very least.

“It’s dangerous to go out on your own at this time of night, y/n…” He said, quietly. It was a little eerie that he read your mind at that moment.

“I know. I’m such a fool…I couldn’t borrow my father’s phone for the night so I have no way of calling anyone…I…just couldn’t help myself when I walked in here…” You said as you looked around the music room. “It was like…”

“Something pulled you in,” he finished.

“Yes, exactly.”

Yangyang began, “I know it’s out of turn for me to say this but I can offer you a room to stay in for the night…Then, you can make your way back into town in the morning.”

You were beyond lucky your parents weren’t home for the weekend. Otherwise, they’d be worried sick. But even so…How could you say yes to a total stranger? Even if you were only a few miles out of town, you didn’t know Yangyang. You didn’t know what his intentions could be.

Another part of you told you to trust him. Because what would you do in the woods at night? You couldn’t account for the wolves or the other creatures of the night. You didn’t know who else could linger in the woods.

As far as you could tell, Yangyang was an odd but attractive guy. And if he was offering a separate space for you to sleep in, then you should take it.

_______

There was a snowstorm in a matter of minutes when Yangyang escorted you upstairs. How odd for it to be snowing in early October, you thought. You rejoiced over how your jerk of a crush's party was a bust. You wondered if Sana and Dowoon made it home safely. You wondered if they worried about you now. After they left you in the middle of the road.

Maybe you should stop being friends with them. You felt like you were more disappointed in them with each passing week. You wondered when they would do something for you. It always seemed to fall on you to pick them up from parties and cover for them when their parents called your house when they went to a 21+ club. You just wanted a simple night in to watch a movie and share ghost stories. Maybe they didn’t want to do those things anymore.

You wouldn’t say they grew up but maybe...the three of you just grew apart.

You pushed thoughts of them to the back of your mind as Yangyang stood in front of an ornate door, decorated with flower engravings, painted in several colors. The initials at the bottom were “W.T.”.

Yangyang pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door for you. He handed the set of golden keys to you. “These are yours for the duration of your stay. You can trust no one will come in...Unless it be your wish, y/n.”

He dropped the keys into your hands. “Thank you,” you whispered.

Yangyang smiled. “You are welcome. Supper will be ready in an hour. I’ll come for you when it is time.”

You couldn’t look at him for too long without your eyes burning. He was too radiant. Too beautiful. Almost otherworldly. You looked down at your socks as you entered the room. You shut it gently behind you.

You locked the door from the inside, trusting that Yangyang gave you the only set. You took a sigh of relief as you took in the bedroom.

This had to be a mistake, you thought.

This had to be the master room. It felt like you were in a 19th century penthouse suite, if such a thing had existed. Your room for the night started with a fireplace and a sitting area. When you walked past it, you entered the study area that was bigger than the first floor of your house. You had a massive walk-in closet filled with gowns and shoes of every color. You even had a room full of fine jewelry on display, including tiaras studded with diamonds. Your mouth remained open as you walked through the “bedroom”.

You shouldn’t have access to any of these things. For they must have belonged to someone. Why would Yangyang let you sleep in here?

Lastly, as your heart couldn’t take anymore, the bedroom was plush and luxurious. The carpet embraced the soles of your feet. After resisting the urge to touch everything else in the bedroom, you allowed yourself to sit on the king-sized bed.

Sleeping in this bed would’ve compensated for all of the all-nighters you’ve pulled in your life. It was a shame you wouldn’t be able to sleep that night, though.

You were many things. Naive, innocent, studious, and quite impulsive at times. But you weren’t about to fall asleep in a stranger’s home.

Half an hour passed as you washed up and warmed up by the fireplace.

Yangyang knocked at your door. You thought it odd that he would be escorting you down himself. Shouldn’t he have servants, living in a place like this?

You opened the door and Yangyang stared at you in shock.

“What?” You frowned. You looked exactly the same as you did when you first met him, he realized.

“Were none of the gowns to your liking?” Yangyang asked, genuinely confused.

You did a double take. “What? Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly...Those aren’t mine. I don’t want to take advantage of your hospitality. No more than I already have.”

Yangyang was stunned at your decision. He thought you would have tried on all of the dresses in the past half hour and don the diamond tiara with golden accents...But no...The suite he’d given you was relatively untouched. You were certainly a woman of your word. You would’ve looked stunning in the red sleeveless dress, he thought. He snapped out of it and said, “No matter. You had the option...That’s why I gave you this room. Everything within these mansion walls is at your disposal.”

You laughed. “You’ve done more than enough for me so don’t worry. Now...can we go eat? I really can’t turn down a meal.” You hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

Yangyang laughed at your candor. “Of course.”

As you walked down the grand wooden staircase, you could hear more people in the house. You heard chairs being pulled, laughter, clinking of glasses, and the piano being played.

You turned to Yangyang. “Who...”

Yangyang replied, “My brothers will be joining us for supper.”

“Oh,” you said, surprised. When you entered, you were shocked enough that Yangyang was there. Who knew more people resided here? Up until now, it was so quiet that you could probably hear a pin drop.

That, and Yangyang’s violin. Which you longed to hear again.

You felt quite underdressed upon meeting Yangyang’s brothers in the dining room, which boasted a lot of paintings and miniature statues to the men who stood before you. There was another grand piano in the dining area, where one of Yangyang’s brothers sat and played a lively piece. Three of the brothers were laughing about an anecdote that the tallest of the group told. The final two men sat as...to your surprise, servants finished setting the dining table, lighting the flames of the candles in the center. The servants’ dresses had turned up collars with plain neckties. Yangyang’s brothers all donned suits of dark reds, blues, and grays. They looked like members of a royal family.

At the sight of you, the music stopped and all of the men started moving towards you and Yangyang.

“Yangyang, an introduction is in order,” the pianist asked as he got up from his seat.

“Brothers, this is y/n. She is staying with us before she returns to town in the morning,” Yangyang said, the humor in his voice when he spoke with you vanished. He moved closer to you, you noticed.

The pianist asked for your hand and kissed it. “Enchanted to meet you, y/n. I am Wei Kun, the oldest of the Wei children.”

You coughed, a little shocked at how forward Kun was. It was a culture shock to you. Most boys thought they were too damn special to ever make eye contact with you.

You shook hands with the other brothers. They were all very happy to see you. But you couldn’t quite place what kind of joy it was so you remained on your toes.

“Please, sit,” Winwin said as he led you to the seat right next to the head of the table. Kun sat down at the head of the table and smiled at you. The rest of the brothers joined you.

The servants began to bring out the drinks and the first course. Ten was about to sit next to you when Yangyang immediately claimed the seat.

“Calm down, brother,” Ten said, “It won’t do you harm to let her sit beside someone other than you.”

Yangyang remained in his seat. “She is my guest.”

Ten chuckled as he sat across from you. “So y/n, what brings you to this neck of the woods?”

A servant poured a glass of water for you. “Thank you,” you replied and tried to meet her eyes.

The servant quickly turned away and headed to the kitchen, you assumed. That was odd.

“Well,” you continued, “My friends and I were going to a party in the woods. We got into a fight and I got out of the car that was on the road not too far from here…”

“A car?” Xiaojun frowned, his bold eyebrows furrowed. He took a bite of his salad.

So these men didn’t know phones or cars... “Oh...Well, they’re these machines that can transport people from place to place…”

“Like a carriage?” Yangyang offered.

“Ah.” The rest of the boys said in realization.

You nodded as you drank your water, “Yes, but it runs on gasoline.”

The boys were amazed at your tales about modern technology. You went into as much detail as you could about phones and cars. The boys were an odd bunch. It was almost as if they never left this house.

Although it seemed like that, they told you tales of their travels to Asia, South America, and Europe. They told you about their cultural expeditions and their visits to the natural wonders of the world. Ten, the painter of the family, motioned to the paintings you’d seen earlier. They were paintings of places like Machu Picchu, the Colosseum, and the Parthenon. They were paintings of the places they visited. They were so vivid and lifelike. Ten was an incredible painter. Talent ran in the family, that was a sure thing. You were as much in awe of their tales. You were thankful the spotlight wasn’t on you like you’d expected, being the sole stranger of this household.

You enjoyed the salad, the tomato soup, the roasted duck, and the dessert, which happened to be your favorite: strawberry shortcake.

“Would you care for another slice?” Yangyang asked in a whisper as the other boys talked. He noticed your face come alive at the first bite of the cake.

You nearly choked on the last bite of your slice. You must have looked gluttonous to him. You should’ve eaten slower, you thought. You must have not been very ladylike at that moment. You shook your head. “That’s alright. Thank you. Everything was delicious.”

Yangyang looked at you once again in confusion. You clearly wanted another slice so why weren’t you asking for it, he asked himself. “Very well…” He murmured.

Lucas got up from the table. “Well, Yangyang, the boys and I will retire early...Although we wish you would let us be in y/n’s company…”

Yangyang quickly replied, “Good evening, brothers.”

They all pouted but wished you a good evening.

You laughed. “Your brothers are a lot of fun.”

Yangyang scoffed. “That’s one word for them. The minute they caught wind that I had a visitor, they insisted on joining us for dinner. I am so sorry, y/n. You must have been overwhelmed.”

You shook your head. “It’s nice to know that it isn’t just you in this house.”

Yangyang was stunned at your words. You were so...kind. Thinking of others, always. Thinking of him, basically a total stranger. You were as kind as you were trusting. It made his heart ache.

He pulled your seat back for you. He offered his arm. “Are you tired?”

Exhausted, actually. But once again, you were in a stranger’s house. And now that you knew he wasn’t alone, you wanted to be more on guard.

“Nope...I am wide awake.” You smiled as you took his arm. He was warm to the touch. The electricity ran between both of you.

Yangyang laughed. “What would you like to do, y/n?”

“I’d like to hear you play,” you said.

He was shocked at your honesty. He liked when you expressed yourself honestly most of all.

It was the truth, you thought. Frankly, it was part of your ruse to stay up as late as possible but if Yangyang could keep you entertained, it would certainly help a lot.

And truly, you could listen to his violin for hours.

_______

Back in the music room, you sat on the couch, serving as Yangyang’s audience. He loosened his tie and took off his jacket, setting it aside on a chair. He rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt.

He warmed up his hands and fingers for a few minutes before he tuned the strings of his violin. His fingers were so elegant and slender. The veins of his arms protruded as he flexed his hands. He looked so focused and determined and just unbelievably beautiful. The violin was an extension of his heavenly hands. This was the most attractive he’d ever been. You bit your lip.

You told yourself to calm down, for he was a complete stranger.

Sure, up until this point, he gave you the bedroom of your dreams. A dinner that nearly brought you to tears from the flavor and comfort it gave you. And he was playing his beloved instrument for you...But you couldn’t get attached so quickly.

He couldn’t meet your gaze because the look in your eyes made him feel something he wasn’t prepared to acknowledge. Time had slipped quickly and his heart was deceiving him when it shouldn’t have.

“So...what will you be playing first?” You asked. How many songs could you get out of him before you both retired to your rooms?

Yangyang grinned excitedly. “An original I’ve been working on...I finished composing it today.”

“Really? Today?” You asked.

He gave you the knowing smile he had the moment you met him. “You helped me finish it.”

“Is that so? Well, I’m ready when you are.” You smiled, about to kick your legs up like an overly excited schoolgirl.

“The piece is called ‘Found’,” Yangyang said as he positioned his bow against the strings and began.

Yangyang was truly an otherworldly being, especially under the skylight. The snowstorm was long gone and only the moonlight shone down on him. His skin illuminated like porcelain. His sculpted face tilted as he immersed himself in his song.

You realized the song was the piece he played when you entered the music room the first time. The song was somber at first. The notes were low and left you feeling down. Yangyang’s face was so melancholic at the start of the song. However, as he continued, the notes became lighter and freer, picking up towards the end, signifying hope. Your heart swayed with each three-note chord he played.

You weren’t entirely sure of the story behind the song but meeting you must not have been a low point of his day.

You clapped for Yangyang. “I loved it! It’s...too beautiful to be called merely beautiful...You are so talented.”

Yangyang’s cheeks were now a rosy pink. He bowed for you. “Thank you.”

You laughed giddily. You wished you could’ve recorded this performance, you longed to keep it with you for the rest of your life.

Yangyang continued playing his original pieces. He was truly gifted in his craft. His compositions were nothing to sneeze at. He should be a world-famous musician with all of the work he’d done.

As he played, he would meet your eyes and give you a little smile. You could watch him for hours. He could play for you for hours.

You two were in this perfect little bubble, then. Reality didn’t take effect. It was divine.

Yangyang’s hands grew tired and after his last song, he sat beside you.

“You look sleepy, y/n,” he noted, “Did my performance actually bore you?” He mocked taking offense.

You fought a yawn but couldn’t let it escape you so turned away from him. You lifted a finger and told him to wait.

You let out a yawn, trying not to be noisy. Yes, you were tired. A long day at school, a falling out with your friends, and an evening at the Wei Mansion did its number on you.

You faced Yangyang again. “I’m wide awake.”

Yangyang lifted an eyebrow in skepticism. “Perhaps you would like  something to drink?”

You nodded. “Something warm...Would hot cocoa be possible?”

“Absolutely. It’s a staple at this household this time of year,” he said.

He offered his hand to you and you took it. Both of you were taken aback by how immediate you were to hold hands but neither of you let go as Yangyang led you into the kitchen.

In the kitchen, he tended to you. The servants were nowhere in sight. The mansion felt like it had when you first came in: empty.

It felt like you two were the only people in this house, a world in itself.

He poured you a cup of cocoa he made and you were in love. The cocoa tasted amazing. You drank it slowly, savoring every sip.

You shivered a little from the cold that creeped into the mansion. Yangyang left for a moment and returned with a blanket. He wrapped it around you.

It was plush and made of the softest material you could ever imagine. If you snuggled too much against it, you would fall asleep right then and there.

But your energy started picking up again...It must have been the cocoa.

“We can go into the library...I’ll start up the fire.” Yangyang offered as he drank his cup of cocoa.

It seemed Yangyang was eager to stay awake with you, you thought.

“Aren’t you tired?” You asked.

He looked up from his cup. “What?”

“You don’t have to force yourself to stay up with me. I’m the one who can’t sleep.”

Yangyang knew you were keeping yourself awake on purpose. He knew you didn’t completely trust him or this house. Slowly, however, you opened yourself up to him and he was quite fond of you. He wanted to be by your side for the night. He didn’t know why exactly but he just did.

He met your gaze. “I hope it is not too forward of me to say this...But I want to remain at your side.”

You looked down, flattered at his words. Then, you mustered your courage and met his unwavering stare. “Okay.”

The truth was, you felt safer with Yangyang. And you couldn’t lie to yourself: you liked him. He was kind, attentive, charming, and a wonderful musician. The moment you met him made you forget all of your troubles...if only for a moment.

You two walked into the dome-shaped library. It was bigger than any commercial bookstore. You wondered how old the family’s collection was.

Yangyang started the fire at the fireplace by the reading couches. He motioned for you to take a seat.

You sat down and nearly sank into the couch. It was so comfortable. You were living in the lap of luxury.

“Y/n, are you alright?” Yangyang asked.

You laughed. “Yeah...why?”

“Your eyes rolled to the back of your head,” he said, smiling confusedly.

You laughed again. “It’s because this couch is the most comfortable thing I’ve ever sat on.”

Yangyang smiled and shook his head. “The simplest things please you.”

“Nothing about this house is simple,” you said.

He shook his head, smiling at you and picked up a book off of the shelf. He scanned the title and the summary. “What do you like to read, y/n?”

You answered, “Horror.”

Yangyang’s eyes widened. “Really?”

You nodded. “Yes. I like the suspense and the kinds of creatures the writers come up with.”

Yangyang was wrong to assume you were a romance kind of girl. He’d hoped to woo you with some Shakespeare. He took it in stride and put the book he had back on the shelf. He took a rolling step ladder and positioned it farther away from you. He got up on the steps and picked up another book off the shelf.

“It’s called ‘The Mysterious Mansion’,” he said, biting back a laugh.

“How fitting,” you said, laughing.

You and Yangyang shared a couch as you took turns reading to each other. The story was dark and twisted but got your heart racing.

Well, maybe Yangyang’s being so close to you may have had something to do with it.

The hours pass and you finish off the last page. Yangyang leaned against the other end of the couch and simply watched you. He loved the sound of your voice and the way it cracked.

He gave you a glass of water to relax your voice. He loved how your eyes scanned word for word. The crease between your eyes as you interpreted the author’s words. But you kept on reading aloud. He’d read “The Mysterious Mansion’ several times but this time was his favorite reread.

You could hear Yangyang talk forever when you heard him read the passages. His voice was soothing and full of wonder. The grin on his face right before he read a twist to the story. The crinkle of his nose when he laughed at your reactions. He’d become a friend.

A friend you wanted to kiss.

This was the most fun you’d ever had. This cold October night with this enchanting young man. You kinda wished it would never end but you were still resolved to...Stay...awake…

Your eyes grew heavy and you curled yourself against the couch. You pulled the blanket tighter around you.

Yangyang realized you were drifting. He quickly moved over to you and shook you awake.

You two had stayed up all night and it was nearing daybreak. And he had to move fast.

“Y/n!” He yelled to wake you up.

You grumbled. “What?”

“Please wake up. You need to leave right now,” Yangyang demanded.

You rubbed your eyes and snapped out of it. How the hell did you almost fall asleep, you fool, you thought to yourself. The alarm in Yangyang’s voice also was a cause for concern. “What’s wrong?” You asked.

He shook his head rampantly. “There’s no time to explain. Do you have everything?”

You nodded. “I have to get my coat and boots at the entrance.”

Yangyang grabbed your hand and you both ran towards the entrance. You put your coat and boots on. Yangyang did the same and he nearly dragged you out the door. You quickly moved down the staircase and set foot on the dewy grass. Yangyang kept his foot on the last step of the staircase.

The sky overhead was mostly black but shades of oranges, pinks, and red were breathing through. Dawn was imminent.

That was when you realized you had no mittens. You’d left them in the bedroom.

Yangyang noticed your bare hands. He pulled off his royal blue mittens and slipped them onto your hands.

“You don’t have to-“ You started.

“I want you to have them. A fair trade. Yours for mine?” He smiled.

He squeezed your hands before he let them go.

“Thank you...for tonight, Yangyang,” you said. Even though it was through the weather and the night that you had no other choice, you had a magical night with a boy who was so wonderful, he must’ve been out of a classic novel. He’d treated you like a friend and listened to you: about what you wanted to do and what you liked. You’d wished you could’ve gotten to know him more but you appreciated that he listened to you attentively.

You were sad the night had ended but you’d succeeded in staying up nearly the whole night at least. You were meant to leave now. You’d overstayed your welcome and you needed to get home. That was the most important thing.

Yangyang moved closer to you and moved some hair away from your face. He touched your cheek with the back of his hand. Once again, you both did something with no thought.

You got up on the staircase and kissed him. He pulled you in to deepen the kiss. He picked you up off the ground as he continuously took your breath away.

But as quickly as this piece of utter bliss started, it quickly ended.

He let you go and set you down on the grass. “Goodbye, y/n.”

“Goodbye, Yangyang.” As you walked into the forest, you turned back once more and watched as Yangyang stood there, his face unreadable.

You waved at him and his expression softened as he waved back.

You laughed as you turned back now and kept on moving. The path to the main road took a little longer than expected because it was still dark. However, the sun rose before you knew it and you were able to see the main road again.

And you were shocked to find several people on the main road. Cop cars were parked off the side of the road. A news reporter for Channel 23 News could be heard saying.

“It is Day 8 into the search for y/n y/l/n. She was last seen on this road, Road 116 by her friends and has not returned home. If you have seen y/n or have any information that can help our police force find her, please call the number on the screen: 1-800-RES-CUES. Again, that’s 1-800-RES-CUES.”

Dowoon and Sana were being interviewed by another news station.

Dowoon was on the brink of tears, his eyes stained red. “This is all our fault.”

Choking on her tear, Sana continued, “We shouldn’t have left her on the road...We thought she went home...We were so stupid…”

What the hell was going on?

You walked into the road and several people turn to you in shock. They gasped and screamed your name.

Your parents broke out of the crowd of people that has accumulated. “Y/n!” They both yell.

They run up to you and wrap their arms around you, weeping hysterically.

Your mom yelled, “Y/n, where have you been? My baby!”

Your dad held your face in his hands, “What happened to you? Are you alright?”

You were shocked at their reaction. “What are you guys doing here? I thought you guys were in New York until tomorrow.”

Your parents, not letting you go, gave each other a meaningful look.

Your mom’s eyebrows furrowed. “Tomorrow? Y/n, we came back a week ago.”

You laughed in disbelief. “No, you guys left Friday morning, yesterday morning.”

Your dad shook his head. “Y/n, you’ve been missing for a week now.”

You laughed again. “No...You guys are messing with me.”

But then you looked around at all of the worried looks on the people’s faces. The police officers came right over. You even saw Dowoon and Sana sobbing not too far from Sana’s car.

“You guys...I stayed in a mansion not too far from here for the night because of the snow…”

“What mansion? What snow?” Your parents asked in unison.

You darted your eyes to everyone else and whispered to them. “Come with me.”

“Y/n, we need to get you home…” Your mom pleaded.

You shook your head. “I need to show you where I was and that I wasn’t in danger.”

“Y/n, we should tell the police-” Your father offered.

“No!” You snapped. “Please trust me. He didn’t do anything to me. He’s my friend.”

At the mention of “he”, your parents were up in arms and motioned for the police to come over.

“We will go with you, y/n…” Your mom said.

She meant that they’ll go with you if you have a police escort.

You shook your head and led the party to the mansion. You couldn’t believe this. Missing for seven days? That was impossible. You’d only been gone for the night. How could anyone have known you’d been gone? Your parents were away.

Once you got out of the forest to the Wei mansion, you saw that there was no mansion. Only an abandoned cabin.

What?

“Is this where you were detained, y/n?” Police Officer A asked.

“I was not detained. This isn’t the mansion I-”

“A mansion?” Everyone looked at you skeptically.

You entered the cabin, knowing that everything you believed in was slipping through your fingers. Tears quickly ran down your cheeks. The cabin was shabby, the furniture inside covered in dust. It had been unlived in for quite some time.

“Y/n!” Your parents yelled.

The police rushed in after you and Police Officer B held you back. “Let me go!” You demanded.

“It’s dangerous.”

The police officers searched the entire cabin three times over and came up with nothing. “There is no trace of anyone having been here for years,” Police Officer A said.

Well, of course not, this wasn’t the mansion that you stayed at.

Clearly, the more time passed, the more concerned everyone looked. It was possible you heard the words “rehab” and “therapy” and “mental break” thrown around.

You had to calm down. You knew you weren’t crazy. You knew it because you wore Yangyang’s gloves.

Yangyang.

Where is he? Where were his brothers? Where was the Wei mansion?

Police Officer B released you and you browsed the area. Your parents trailed behind you. You entered one of the bedrooms, encased in dust. You sneezed and found a chest with a lock on it. The chest was engraved with the letter “W” at the center. 

You recognized the engraving. It was the same handwriting from the bedroom door in the Wei Mansion. Your bedroom door...The keys.

You remembered you still had them in your pocket. It was a long shot but you pulled them out. You placed the key inside of the lock and opened the chest.

You found seven porcelain dolls. The dolls were more sophisticated than any doll sold at the local stores. They were almost lifelike. The way their eyes and lips were drawn. Each doll bared a striking resemblance to the Wei brothers. You could see them all: Kun, Ten, Winwin, Lucas, Xiaojun, Hendery, and…

Yangyang.

The last doll was definitely Yangyang. The doll held a toy violin and wore…

Your ruby red mittens.

Fin.

_______

Epilogue.

Yangyang sat in the music room alone, holding on tightly to your red mittens.

Hendery charged into the room. His brothers trailed behind. “You fool! Why did you let her go?”

Yangyang shrugged. “I’ve had it.”

“What are you talking about?” Xiaojun demanded. “You were smitten with her. She was clearly enamored with you.”

Kun laughed. “It’s because he’s in love with her.”

All of the boys looked at their oldest brother, confused. Yangyang avoided their stares.

“You changed your mind,” Kun murmured.

Yangyang sighed, “She was not like-”

Winwin rolled his eyes. “Please do not give us the story of ‘she was not like other girls’. She seduced you and you let her go. You fell for her game. She outsmarted you.”

Yangyang snapped. “Do not test me, brother.”

Ten interjected. “Okay, okay, everyone needs to calm down...We are just curious...Why? She could have stayed here with us forever...With you forever.”

Yangyang didn’t want to speak to them. Every moment that passed, he missed you more. “She did not wear the jewels or the dresses...She left everything untouched. She did not come to us because she sought material possessions. She wanted a friend…”

Lucas laughed. “How pathetic.”

Yangyang groaned. “You lot would not understand…”

“Do not act like you are better than us, little brother,” Kun began condescendingly.

“I am not-”

“You think you’re better than us because you let a prisoner go this time, do you not? Well, let me bring you back to reality. Our spirits are confined into those tacky porcelain dolls...So what do we do to ease ourselves? We bring people into this realm to reside with us. Materialistic, selfish, and vain people. Y/n is no different from the rest of them.”

“Shut up,” Yangyang muttered.

The rest of the boys were stunned to silence but Kun heard him clearly. “Repeat that, Yangyang. You know the consequences.”

Yangyang got up and shoved your mittens in his pockets. “Shut up, Kun.”

Kun smiled and laughed. The other boys faked laughter so as not to upset Kun even more. His smile quickly faded as he punched Yangyang to the ground.

Kun gave Yangyang a harsh beating and the rest of the brothers watched. No one dared to step in and upset Kun even further. Yangyang couldn’t blame his brothers. Besides, he wanted this. He wanted to feel a pain other than the pain of missing you. 

He may have been damned for the rest of eternity but he was thankful to have met you. You proved to him that not everyone could be consumed by the deadly sins, as he and his brothers had. You were an angel that gave you a moment of compassion, of affection. And for that he would always be thankful.

_______

Come back tomorrow the third installment in our Halloween Series! :) 

[omgrachwrites]

Till the End of Time - King Caspian

Pairing: Caspian x Reader

Request:  hi i saw that your requests are open!! can i request king caspian x wife!reader where they want a day off cuz they’re so tired of all the work so they escape from the castle. idk if you’ve seen the scene in show called “reign” (it’s in season 3 episode 5 you can search it on youtube) where francis and marry go to the lake, they swim naked and kiss and play with each other (like splashing water etc) then they lay on the grass and talk, kiss, cuddle. can you write something like that? i thought it’d be so cute, thank you!!💖💖 - anon

Warnings: fluff, fluff and more fluff!

Words: 1244

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!! Thanks so much for the request anon! I hope this is okay! Hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think! I love you all! xxx

You smiled as you snuck around the back of the castle with your husband and he helped you down the rocky cliffs of Cair Paravel. The late summer sun was hot as it beamed down upon your skin and even the thin gown you were wearing was beginning to feel uncomfortable. But, you were glad to be out in the sun, you were glad to be anywhere but that damned council chamber.

When you married your love, you knew that being the Queen of Narnia would be difficult but you weren’t aware just how draining it would be. As King, you knew that Caspian felt the same which was why he suggested that you both sneak away from the castle so you could spend some time together, time where you could both relax.

As you got down onto the beach, Caspian grinned at you and you admired the way that the warm ocean breeze blew through his hair, making him look even more handsome. You smiled back at your husband as the waves lapped upon the shore, the sun making the surface of the water gleam like diamonds. Caspian took your hand and kissed along your knuckles as his cheeks reddened.

“Come, my love. I want to show you a special place, a place where no one will be able to find us,” you nodded as he led you up through an opening in the cliffs and you gasped in sheer delight as you saw what was on the other side.

It was a beautiful cove with a streaming waterfall and a pool of crystal clear water, so clear that you could see right to the bottom. The sun’s rays beaming through the waterfall caused permanent rainbows to appear on the rocks behind it, it was all so magical, “it’s beautiful Caspian,” you breathed, “thank you for bringing me here,” you cupped his stubbled cheeks and kissed him gently, his lips soft but firm against yours.

He tried to pull you in for another kiss but you quickly moved out of his arms with a teasing smile on your face as he reached for you, “I can hardly go swimming with my clothes on, can I?” you raised an eyebrow.

Caspian’s eyes darkened as he smirked and stalked towards you, “say no more, my Queen,” he started by removing your shoes, pressing a loving kiss against your ankle which made you giggle. Caspian slowly and lovingly, inched his way up your body, reaching round to untie the strings of your dress and when it was loose enough you let it pool at your feet.

Caspian gasped lightly as his eyes roamed over your skin as he took in your naked form, “always so beautiful, Y/N,” he breathed through parted lips as he rubbed a thumb over the swell of your breasts.

You sighed happily as tingles travelled down your spine from his gentle touch, “it’s your turn,” you murmured as you began removing his clothes slowly until he stood as naked as you did. He was so beautiful, just like a work of art and you pressed a kiss over his heart, feeling it jump beneath your lips and you gently ran your fingers over the scars on his chest. You laced your fingers through his as you slowly pulled him towards the water.

“I think you’re an enchantress, Y/N,” Caspian grinned as he kissed you as you both stepped into the water that had been warmed by the sun. It was still refreshing.

Once Caspian pulled away from your lips you smirked and splashed him, Caspian coughed and spluttered as the salt water soaked him even more and it gave you enough time to swim away. A giggle burst from your lips as you heard him chase you.

“Oh! No, you don’t!” Caspian laughed as he caught you around the waist and pulled you into his body. You squealed and giggled with delight as he wrapped his strong arms around you and he doused you in the water.

The both of you plated cat and mouse for a little while, chasing each other in the warm water and splashing each other. Caspian led you beneath the waterfall and you turned around with your back facing him as he wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing the back of your neck as you stood beneath the streaming water.

“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured against your wet skin.

You sighed happily as you covered his hands with yours and you turned to face him, watching the water droplets run down his sun kissed skin, “I love you too,” you smiled as you kissed him deeply.

You played around in the water for a little while before returning to the shore and you lay side by side in on the warm, golden sand and basked in the glorious sunlight, “I wish we could just stay here forever,” you smiled as Caspian trailed his fingers over your warm skin.

You looked at your beautiful husband and found nothing but love and admiration in his eyes, “we could, we could start a kingdom of our own right here,” he smirked as he hovered over you.

You laughed as you pushed him away slightly, “I am not ready to talk about having children,” you had been married for barely a year and you didn’t want to rush into creating a family.

“I know, my love,” he said fondly, he didn’t sound disappointed, you knew that he didn’t want to rush you and for that, you loved him.

“But, when we do have them, a girl and a boy,” you grinned and propped your head up on your hand, running your fingers over your chest, “you can teach our daughter how to fight and I can teach our boy how to read,” you were good with a sword but you knew that Caspian dreamed of teaching his child how to fight.

Caspian laughed as he pulled you close, “our daughter will be the best warrior that Narnia has ever seen and our son will be the finest scholar.”

You smiled up at him as you pressed a kiss to his jaw, “with you as her teacher our daughter will be the best warrior.”

Caspian smiled softly and you could see the insecurity in his eyes, “do you honestly think that I’m a good King?” ever since he’d defeated his evil uncle, Miraz, he’d been unsure about his leadership. He often compared himself to High King Peter and his father. He was brutally unfair on himself.

You had known Caspian since you were children and you had watched him grow from a careless Prince into an amazing ruler and you were so proud of him, “I think you’re the best King. You’re exactly the King that Narnia needs and wants, someone who is kind and fair, and someone who will fight for his people. You’ve done so much for everyone and we love you with all of our hearts.”

Caspian’s beautiful eyes grew misty as he pushed himself up to hover over you, “I couldn’t do it without such an amazing Queen,” he leaned down and kissed you deeply, “I’m so glad that I found you and that you found me, even if we were just children,” he whispered against your lips as he gazed down at you like you put all of the stars in the sky. All you wanted was him, from now until the end of time.

------------------------

@smiithys​ @elayneblack​ @amelie-black​

[mikaelrznr]

A few words.

"It's been more than thirty years since the wolf and the winter cold." You can pretty much think that about Zack Snyder's career since he directed Lizzy Borden's "Love is a crime" music video. Indeed it has been a long way, but his career really jumped when "Dawn Of The Dead" (a Romero's remake) hit the screens back in 2004. That glorious movie, well paced, filled with frenetic zombies, has reached the precious cult-status over the following years. Well deserved. From then on, Snyder created some visually stunning movies, including the marvelous "Watchmen" (considered the "Citizen Kane" of comic movies). But his film making style is not only cinematic but a work of art. Just take a look at those beautiful scenes, almost perfect. He's a real artist. Fast forward to 2021, the year when the infamous "Zack Snyder's Justice League" finally sees the daylight, after an avalanche of criticism over the 2017 version, which was somehow finished by Joss Whedon. Zack left at post-production due to the loss of his daughter, Autumn. Even though he was supported by thousands of fans all over the world, and knowing it would affect his project, he decided to step down and grieve. As a father, trust me when I tell you I would have done the same thing. Family comes first. But he was betrayed by the very same company he had worked for many years. Not only that, his ideas were pitched to the competition, thus creating a "successful" two-part movie. What a shame. He stood strong, a hero, as the very same characters he tries to print in his films. ZSJL came triumphant. Damn, it's almost perfect. Forget box office, this flick is full of heart. The actors provide a significant difference. The very same EPILOGUE could be a standalone movie, just like that. The dialogue has a meaning, it's not superfluous. Joe Morton's message to his son, Vic Stone (played beautifully by Ray Fisher), makes you cry, 'cause in the end, I think Snyder wrote it with Autumn in mind. Even though the movie shows a fake world, with situations beyond a regular and simple day, provides lots of humanism, warm feelings. We are living cold times, people are exhausted, filled with fear, alienated from their families, alone. Snyder's slo-mo style gives a glimp of his way to see things: perhaps he's trying to ease our minds and show us for a split second beautiful imagery. We need to take the time to enjoy, to love, to breathe, to listen, to help, to cry, to ask for forgiveness, to forgive... to watch. Open your eyes, take this movie as an escape, but keep in mind it will take you far away, beyond everything. This movie is art. Plain and simple.

Thank you, Zack.

[popculturebuffet]

Final Space: And Into The Fire Review or Now with 110% More Homoerotic Telepathy

Welcome  new and old to my first Final Space review! If you’ve never seen the blog before, and given this is the first “new” series i’ve covered as it come out in some time that’s probably quite a few of you, welcome. I’m Jake, I do recaps and reviews of various animated shows and comics, mostly just stuff I want to do, often on comission (5 dollars an episode if theres any episode of the first two seasons of this show or any episode of any other show you’d like tos ee me cover), or for my patreon patreon.com/popculturebuffet. And it is my utmost honor to add this show to my rotating roster of shows I cover as they come out. 

I friggin love Final Space. I was intrigued by it back when TBS released the animatics alongside Close Enough (Wth the two shows ironically finally together on HBO max as of earlier this month), for their doomed block. I heard a lot of good things about season 1.. and let it get away from me, not watching it till Season 2. But both seasons had more than enough to pull me in with intriguging characters, even greater jokes and a truly unique idea for a premise involving giant monsters, an edltrich god and lots of cookies. 

So while it took an extra year given Covid, I’m super friggin pumped to get into season 3 at long last after the hell of a cliffhanger, especially since ironically last night I saw Steven Yeun’s oscar nominated performance in “Minari”. Now i get to watch him play a cat teenager again too.. and in a few days Mark friggin Grayson. It’s a good week to be a fan of his is what i’m saying and a good week in general. 

Previously on Final Space Yo!: Since it’s been a year and while the series provides  a recap , I’m going to be doing these anyway so:

Our heroes finally got all 5 dimensional keys and freed Bolo, and in the process also freed Avacato from Invictus, the horrifying entity controlling final space. Meanwhile Tribore got Sheryl to stop being a selfish prick and she joined the team trying to be a better mother from now on. But freeing Bolo came at a high cost as Nightfall sacrified herself as the sixth key (KVN was natrually both Gary and Bolo’s first choice, but was inllegible. ) So we ended the season with our heroes entering Final Space and Gary reuniting with Quinn.... while Invictus loomed. So over a year later we finally get some answers so join me under the cut for spoilers, recaps, and homoerotic text ahoy. 

Something i’m doing since both the roster keeps changing.. and as I correctly guessed from the trailer, and the general tone of the promos for this season, that everyone won’t be all together all season.. or even in one piece.. i’ll be doing a silver age style roll call to let us know who all we have on the Team Squad for the episode Roll Call: Gary, Quinn, Avacato, Little Cato, Ash, Fox, KVN, HUE, AVA, Sheryl, Bolo, and Tribore

So we pick up right where we left off, Gary tearfully reuniting with Quinn, with Quinn wishing he hadn’t come for her, and Gary being Gary naturally having ignored that, and actually been more determined since that made it forbidden which made it extra tempting and him want to extra do it. God I missed this glorious idiot let me tell you. 

So things are quickly interrupted by invictus, who turns out to be a giant flaming head.. thing... and chases them and the crimson light, which has to start speeding with our heroes tethered to the outside, Quinn holding onto Gary. 

So we get one hell of a thrilling chase as the Crimson Light outspeeds the demon head and runs into two titans, but Bolo shows up to take out one, with Mooncake trying his dimension shattering blast thingy on Invictus.. and naturlaly g ven this is the big bad we need to show off how horrying they are, and it does NOTHING. But Gary catches his little buddy so we’re alright. 

Sheryl also shows off her badass bonafieds by LIGHTFOLDING THROUGH A TITAN... granted she still has some parenting skills to learn as “lightfolding while your son is hanging out the back through an edltrich god” really isn’t a motherly thing to do.. but neither is trying to murder your child several times or blaming him for how shitty your life turned out so ANYTHING is a step up for her. 

But.. it’s not enough. While she does manage to kill ONE the Crimson Light is too badly damaged to go on and we get two tragic deaths in one go... The Team Squad is forced to abandon the Crimson Light.. and AVA is too damaged to Upload into HUE. “I’m Sad” “For who?” “For you.. and for us. “ God damn Tom Kenny is amazing. You don’t need me telling you that, but sometimes you need a reminder. 

So our heroes end up on a desolate mystery world, stranded in final space with no ship, no suplies and no hope. The only thing to do now is survivie and hope they can continue the mission at some point. 

ONE MONTH LATER

Things have not gotten any better, as naturally , our heroes have only found weird cartoon eyed worms that regrow their heads when you bite them off. So while this means unlimited food, it’s also disgusting and Garry hates it. “This may be a head but it tastes like a butt”. Quinn and Tribore are with him and Quinn hasn’t been ready to talk about her experiences trapped in this hellscape and still isn’t but being a good dude, Gary dosen’t push her on it. Though the weird red veiny thing on her arm tells me maybe one of you should speed that up before she explodes or gets cronnenburgy. Just saying. I’ll also say i’m not huge on the one month time skip, as while I feel they probably have a reason for being that specific i’ts a bit TOO long and I question why have that long a period of a jump, not the longest but still long enough for things to happen with nothing changingin that time? Still it’s a minor nitpick in an otherwise fantastic episode so I can let it go, I just don’t get it. 

What we do get is some Gary Corpses dropping and Invictius puppeting them... i’m with gary that is bowel openingly scary. I also do like how despite the FAR more dire circumstances, they still get in the requisite shenanigans this series requires. I’ts not to the network mandated subplot levels where it distracts, but it’s enough to help ease the terror of the situation and isn’t around for situations like the opening where it really SHOULDN’T be. As the series always has when something big happens, the bollocks goes away. Once we’re in between we can get back to literal pissing contests, KVN leading a crowd to their deaths and HUE in a pimp hat like god intended. 

So yeah our heroes have to outrun the horrible horde of Gary’s, though Little Cato catches on something’s wrong as Tribore makes gary cary him as foreshadowing for later and Sends mooncake down to asssit. Our heroes escape.. but a cave in happens.

After the break, Gary wakes up confused with the party now split in two: Gary, Quinn, KVN, Tribore and HUE on one side and Avacato, Ash, Fox, Little Cato and Sheryl on the other. So Gary does the logical thing... and take his shirt off telling Avacato to feel him. 

I mean I didn’t even ship them before this scene but... Gary claims because of their bond he can telepahtically connect with Avacato. That’s normal Gary shenanigans.. except not only does he shrug off his girlfriend asking why they can’t do that.. but it WORKS. We have a scene of the two telepahtically talking in a wheatfield that is so homerotic I guarantee there only wasn’t the Careless Whisper sax because they couldn’t afford it.. or their saving it for later this season. Look sometimes you don’t ship a ship because you just.. dont’ care that strongly one way or another and sometimes you just need an incredibly gay scene to see the light. Same thing happened with Weblena same thing here. 

Fox also says “that was glorious to watch” same man. That was freaking art. So our heroes split up into three plots. As usual for me

Team Gary: So yeah... Triobore’s pregnant. No way to really softball into that. He’s been pregnant this whole time. So we get a stupid and mildly horrifying gross out sequence with Gary having to look Triobore in teh eyes and Quinn having to “uncork him”. Which is code for ... you know what i’m not going to say it. If you’ve seen the episode you know and if not your better off not visualizing it trust me. Point is this whole sequence is dumb and the worst part of the episode by far. And the series CAN do good gross out. While Olan Rodgers regrets it, the pissing contest was one of the funniest scenes of season 2, and managed to make a gross idea on paper actually pretty damn funny. This.. this is just “Haha males giving birth and tribore’s an asshole”. There’s no joke here just a .. plug. .. gah.. the vomit is rising let me tell you. 

We do get something good out of this nightmare, Tribore’s son who hatches as the army of gary’s dig their way in, Quanstranstro, who rapidly ages into a stylsih spanish speaking adult badass. He is fucking awesome and a great addition to the team and the sheer.. oddity of his birth is wonderful even if the actual birthing was not. Then the climax happens so before that. 

Team Avacato:

Avacato and Co come across a sleeping giant robot cyborg .. thingy. Naturally Fox wakes him up. Little Cato remains not suprised. It occelates between panicking over it’s legs being gone and amenisa and is pretty damn funny. It’s voiced by John Dimagio. But it gets serious as we find out nothing has ever made it out of final space, and things.. change the longer there there. And Quinn’s been there several months if not a year. Whuh oh. This part is much better both due to better jokes and plot advancment.. though again Quanstrano is still fucking amazing. 

Team Bolo: Bolo meanwhile returns and fights a titan, and has mooncake help him rather htan join the others, but looses, hitting the planet with his body.. I mean he might not get back up.. but the impact shatters the caverns and causes an explosion. Everyone but Gary, Quinn, KVN and HUE are MIA, as our remaining party find earth floating overhead. 

TO BE CONTINUED> 

Final Thoughts: A decent start to the season. Like I said the whole birthing sequence can die in a fire and reminds me of the terrible comedy subplots adult swim wanted grafted onto two episodes.. but otherwise it’s a tense stark opener that sets up the bleak tone while still keeping the series rediciulous shenanigans in tact. It’s the perfect welcome back after so long. I mean the gay telepathy alone would make it a winner. 

Next Time on This Blog: We dive into a little history with HIsteria. See you at the next rainbow. 

[takadasaiko]

Best Laid Plans (a Veronica Mars one shot)

FFN II AO3

Part of my Spanning Years. Continents. series.

Summary: Logan tries to surprise Veronica with a romantic vacation and things don't go exactly as planned.

Best Laid Plans

Surprising Veronica Mars with more than a small gift or a dinner out took a tremendous amount of patience and planning. Every step needed to be carefully mapped out - but definitely not written down in any way, shape or form that she could come across - and executed. It had to be flexible, but too much improvisation was a recipe for disaster. It typically took others that were both willing to help and that wouldn't underestimate her pension for uncovering something she hadn't been specifically looking for. It was an art form, really, and Logan thought he'd done a damn good job all things considered.

The first step had been to find and actually submit a request for leave. He couldn't remember requesting two full, consecutive weeks since he'd enlisted, but he had managed to snag the days and get them set, leading him into the next steps: the actual planning portion of the surprise. This was where things got a little more complicated. He worked to keep any physical files he needed at Dick's suite at the Grand and had forwarded any related calls to Riley's cell rather than his own. Still, that had been easy compared to the balancing act he'd had to go through to both make sure that Veronica freed her schedule during his leave time and didn't tip her off that he had a trip planned. That had taken some next-level finessing that he thought he'd pulled off right up until the night before they were supposed to leave.

Logan had left late that evening, tying up any loose ends on base before his two week vacation. Veronica should have beat him home by at least an hour or more on any normal day, but he found all the lights off at the apartment and a veryeager Pony at the door who was ready for his walk. Logan had checked his cell - no messages - and had called her phone as he walked their dog down down to a green patch. It rang through until it connected to voicemail. Okay. No need to jump to conclusions. She'd told him earlier that week she was going to make sure she took some time while he was on leave. Maybe she was just wrapping up a case.

Dinner came and went, and by the time that the front door opened Logan had already cleaned up the dishes, put their bags together for the trip, and was stretched out on the couch with a video game controller in hand. He hit pause and peeked up over the back of the couch. "Hey, you're in late."

Veronica jumped a little at his voice and shook her head. "Hey, sorry. This huge case dropped in our lap today. Kind of took over."

"But you wrapped it up?" he asked, even though something in him already knew the answer.

"No, actually brought it home. It's fine. You can keep playing. I'm just gonna set up shop at the desk."

Logan set the controller down and eased himself off the couch. "I thought you were going to take some time."

She shot him a confused look and he saw when she turned into what he'd meant. "Your leave starts tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry. It's time sensitive."

"Most of them are. Can't your dad take this one?"

"I mean, maybe, but I don't think we should risk it."

Logan quirked an eyebrow. "If you thought you told what the case is, you didn't."

She hesitated. In general, they didn't discuss the details of her cases, but as Logan waited as patiently as he could manage, he saw her make a judgement call on it. "Kidnapping," she said at last. "This dad's been trying to get custody of his son from his abusive ex-wife but the lady took off with the kid. The sheriff's office is being less than helpful and the dad hired us. There's a chance I may actually have to fly out at the break of dawn tomorrow."

Okay, yeah. That took precedence over his plans. No wonder she looked stressed. "That… yeah, okay. Don't worry about it. Just get the kid home safe."

She tried for a smile. "It'll be fine. You've got two weeks, right? I'll make it up to you as soon as we…." She dropped her bag on the desk in the corner and stopped at the sight of the suitcase and duffel bag that he'd stacked there. Slowly, Veronica turned back to him. "Were we going somewhere?"

"I thought we could take a few days," he offered vaguely.

"And you were going to surprise me? You did surprise me. I'm impressed. Where'd you make plans?"

"Napa Valley," Logan lied, hoping it was convincing enough.

She managed a tired smile, crossing the living room to wrap her arms around his neck and tipping up on her toes to press a kiss against his lips. "I bet they'll let you push the date back a few days. Let me get this kid home and safe and we'll go celebrate, okay?"

"Absolutely," he answered and kissed the tip of her nose. "Go get 'em, bobcat."

She lingered for half a second more, her gaze latched onto his, before finally releasing him to return to her files she'd brought home with her. He reached over to save his game and turn the TV off, giving her the space she needed to work.

------

Logan was in bed and asleep long before Veronica, and he didn't dare risk a look at the clock when he felt her climb in with him. He rolled over, wrapped an arm around her, and felt her fold into him, her hair tickling his nose as he settled back in to sleep.

For once, it was her alarm that woke him the next morning, and Veronica was out the door and on her way to Arizona by ten till six. He had stayed in bed - a rarity once he was awake these days, but he told himself he was staying out of her way so she could move without tripping over him - until she bent over and gave him a quick peck on the lips, promising she'd call.

Around six thirty he finally admitted that sleeping in was no longer something his brain allowed him to do even on vacation and he rolled out of bed. His bare feet hit the floor and it was time to decaffeinate and try to be productive. An hour after that he had canceled their trip and was out the door for a run, dragging a very reluctant Pony with him. Two miles with the dog and three on his own later he rounded back around to the apartment and decided to remind himself that he could and should take some time to relax, even if things hadn't gone as planned. Good thing the waves were always perfect on Neptune beaches.

"Weren't you supposed to be on a plane to Paris or something like that today?" Dick asked as they paddled out and away from the beach.

"Yeah, that didn't work out."

"Ronnie bailed on ya?"

Logan cringed at the complicated question. "She had a case she couldn't get out of."

"Not cool, man. Work over a vacay in France? I told you you shoulda booked at least a month. No one vacations in Europe for two weeks."

"A lot of people go for a week or two," Logan chuckled as he flattened himself out on the board, ready for the incoming waves. "But I didn't tell her where we were going. The whole trip was supposed to be a surprise."

The wave started building and he popped up on the board, finding his balance as he rode it up and over. It felt good, relaxing, even as he finally tilted and ducked down under it.

"That was your first mistake," Dick called as they surfaced. "No one surprises Veronica Mars."

"Hey now, I've managed once or twice."

"But did you really?"

Logan snorted, pushing saltwater out with the breath through his nose, and glanced over at Dick who was straddling his board next to him. He shoved him hard, sending his best friend tipping over and into the warm water. He smirked as a mop of blond hair surfaced, but didn't have time to let himself get too smug - or escape - as Dick returned the favour and both men found themselves treading water next to their boards.

"I mean, it's not like France is going anywhere, man. Just take more time off."

Sometimes Logan forgot that Dick had very little real world experience, especially hen it came to the way the Navy functioned. He could explain things in detail and it was the old cliche of in one ear and out the other. Dick would nod, give the occasional uh-huh at times that Logan would swear meant he was actually listening and comprehending what was being explained, but it was like all of the data got deleted at the end of the day. If it was the drugs he'd indulged in over the years or just the way Dick's brain worked, he still wasn't sure, but at least his heart tended to be in the right place, and if nothing else he was trying to help. That had to count for something.

"Eventually," he chuckled.

"Piece of advice, buddy," Dick said as he flopped over the board again, working his way back onto it. "Next time, just tell her. The big ol' romantic gesture only works if she shows up."

Logan wrapped his fingers around the opposite side of his board, using it to stay afloat as he looked at his friend. "Maybe you're right."

"Definitely, man. C'mon. That one looks good."

Logan glanced back to see the wave rolling in. Well, he could think of a lot worse ways to spend a vacation, even if the plans had fallen through.

-------

Nearly four days after taking the case, it was finally finished and closed. They had found the missing little boy and gotten him home to his father. It had been a mess of interviews with both Neptune's illustrious sheriff's department as well as the local police force in Arizona and the FBI after they had found out that the mother had crossed state lines in the kidnapping case. Count Lamb's disinterest as yet another knock against his reelection. Really, he just continued digging his own grave. It was going to be a glorious day when they booted him out of office.

Veronica dragged herself up the stairs to her apartment and dug in her bag for her keys. The lights were on and she could hear the muffled sound of music from inside. Logan must be cooking and as her stomach gave an audible growl she knew she couldn't find her keys fast enough and rapped her knuckles against the door.

There was a long moment, then another, before she saw her boyfriend peek out the large window next to the desk and shake his head. "Sorry, we don't want any," he shouted loud enough for her to hear and she flipped him off with a smile.

He undid the locks on the other side of the door and finally pried it open, but just a little. "Fine. Just one box of thin mints. That's it."

"Asshole," she laughed and pushed her way in, wrapping her arms around his neck and suddenly she was kissing him. Interesting. She hadn't realized quite how much she had missed him until that moment.

Veronica felt Logan's strong arms around her and without warning he was lifting her up and off the floor, bag still draped over her shoulder and all. He spun her a little, pulling her fully into their apartment and she wrapped her legs around his middle for support and found herself looking down at him. "Miss me?"

"So much." He pulled her down into a kiss and she grinned into it. She thought he might forget whatever he was doing and just take her straight back to the bedroom, but instead he set her down, pressing a gentle kiss against her forehead. "You find him?"

"We did. Everything's good."

She felt a twinge of pain at the relief that flashed across his face. She knew what abuse cases did to him, even if he really had nothing to do with it other than being near to her. "Good," he breathed. "You hungry?"

"So hungry. You have no idea."

He brushed a stray strand of hair back and let his gaze linger on her a moment before returning to the kitchen. She followed him, finally giving herself half a second to both see and smell what the meal-in-progress was. "Oh. Look at you. I thought I was the only one that could convince you on a steak night. Is there some leggy brunette hiding back there I should be aware of?" she asked, her tone light and playful as she circled around behind him, her fingers against the small of his back.

"More of a pairing thing. I picked up that Bordeaux we liked."

Veronica hummed a soft agreement, letting her hand drift down his arm and she laced her fingers into his as he shifted to use his now free - left - hand to awkwardly flip the steak. "Enough there for both of us, flyboy?"

"I think we can manage. You wanna grab some of the frozen green beans?"

"No veggies? You really were being bad while I was away," she teased, finally - reluctantly - releasing him as she turned to grab the frozen veggies he'd requested.

"I'm on vacation," he answered and flipped the steak in the pan with some effort.

"You know dad would totally have been cool if you went over to his place to use the grill, right?"

"Bold of you to assume I can grill."

She smirked as she bent down to grab a pan to boil the green beans in. "I just remain impressed you can cook." She filled the pot with water and she saw him reach for a fresh wine glass and pour her some of the Bordeaux he'd gotten into that night. "So, you talked to whatever vineyard you booked us that surprised trip to?"

"You remember that, huh?"

"The amazing wine is reminding me."

She grinned at the way his eyebrows danced at that one and took a long sip, waiting. "We'll figure something out. I still have some time on the books."

There was something in his tone that, even as exhausted as she was, caught her attention and she peered over the lip of her glass at him. "What's up?"

"What'dya mean?"

"I mean something's up."

"Nothing's up."

"Logan, as much as I love fun games, but I know when something's up," she said pointedly, turning so that she could lean back against the cabinets. Did he really think he was hiding it that well? She didn't know what was going on, but she was about to find out.

He loosed a long breath. "It's really nothing."

"But really something you're gonna spill," she popped back, her tone lighter than the meaning was. He was starting to push her buttons and she was letting him to know.

She saw his gaze flicker towards her and he flipped the steak again. There was a moment in there when the resolve finally cracked. "I didn't plan a trip to Napa."

"Then what were the bags for?"

"France?"

The answer came out more like a question and Veronica felt a tightness in her stomach. "France?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise," he murmured, looking more like a kicked puppy than she would have liked.

"You booked us a flight to France?"

"You'd never been," he answered, as if that was an explanation. She shot him a look and he kept going, motioning at the bottle of wine with those long, expressive fingers of his. "Flight was into Paris, I figured we'd rent a car once we got there and after you saw what you wanted to in the city we could drive down to the wine country. I had two weeks."

"And now you don't," she breathed.

He gave a dry chuckle in response and moved the steak from the pan to the plate. "Next time, and I won't try to surprise you."

Veronica wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades. "It was sweet."

"It didn't work."

"Still sweet." She tightened her hold until he dropped a hand down to cover hers. "You think you might be able to pull some of that Echolls magic in Napa? Or… somewhere?"

"Maybe. It's not France."

"But it's with you."

She felt him tense at that and for one brief, terrifying moment she thought she'd said something wrong. He turned in her arms, though, and she saw that look that said she'd said something right instead. He reached a hand up to her face, cupping her cheek and holding her gaze, his smile slow but real. "You sure you're good with work?"

"Definitely."

"Then I'll call them first thing in the morning." He ducked down, catching her in a kiss.

Veronica tightened her grip on his shirt at the small of his back. "Hey," she murmured against his lips.

"Hmm?"

"Still starved."

He chuckled at that, finally breaking the kiss and he reached for a spoon to start stirring the beans in the pot as she split the sizable steak in half for them. He dished out the veggies and they started in on it, Veronica's gaze fixed on him as he started going over some spots he liked in northern Cali that would make for a good vacation. She listened, nodding along and commenting when she liked one, but her focus was on the thought behind his original plans. Despite the cost of the trip - something she was desperately trying not to think about - it had been absurdly sweet that he was trying to take her to a place she'd never been for a getaway. They needed it, not because things were bad, but because they were good. She wanted to spend time with him and him with her. Northern California wasn't Paris or the wine country of France, but they could still get away, just the two of them, and that was the point. The best laid plans didn't always pan out, but they didn't have to to be perfect anyway.

[lassluna]

Swan’s Hourglass (4/?)

Emma Swan had a mission. Find a place to start New Hyrule, her kingdom apparently. It was her mission as Princess or Savior or whatever. It’s going terribly if she’s honest. No one ever gave her Princess or Savior lessons growing up. She really has no idea how to be a Savior. She doesn’t even really want to in the first place.

But when the Demon Ship kidnaps her son and she gets stranded on a strange island with only an old woman and peppy fairy for help, Emma will have to do what she has to do to rescue her son, even if that means putting a certain self-proclaimed pirate captain in his place.

Ao3  FFN

AN: Thanks so much for the support! This story would not be what it is without the lovely @spartanguard​ beta reading, @eastwesthomeisbest​ for providing that glorious cover art( Have you seen it? No? Go check it out!!!) As well as @cssns​ for giving me a reason to finally start posting this creation.

Chapter 3: Isle of Ember

The goddamn mountain is on fire. 

Because of course it is. They couldn’t go to a regular island. The whole island had to be a giant death trap. It was the only island with a seer that could help her. 

She wondered if someone just made this stuff up to annoy her. 

“Come on, Swan, where’s your sense of adventure?” Hook calls, seeing her disgruntled expression. “I’ve been looking for the Isle of Ember forever.” 

Emma rolls her eyes. “Some pirate; this was literally like a few miles away from Mercury,” she responded.

“You do recall that map is an ancient treasure and the whole glowing thing it did, right?” Hook responds. “This place was concealed.” 

She sighs. Of course it was. Emma didn’t understand why she was even here, she should be out looking for that ship. It had found them so easily, why couldn’t they just…Emma didn’t know. All she knew was that the longer she spent away from her son, the worse she felt.

“Sooner we meet this psychic, the better,.” she says simply, looking away from the pirate.

“Of course, Swan.”

“You know it’s Emma, right?” she says, leaning into the railing of the ship.

“I have been informed. Swan just seems more fitting,” he replies, leaning against the rail. ”But what about this child the old bat mentioned before departing?” he asks.

“My son,” she replies. He has a right to know, and perhaps knowing what Emma stands to lose will remind him of how far she’s willing to go. “We were sailing on The Darling , a ship under Captain Wendy Darling and her brothers, when the Demon Ship appeared. My son, Henry went over to it. He thought he could take it; he thought we were right behind him. I heard him scream and tried to go and get him, but I fell overboard, that’s how I survived. It’s also how I ended up on Mercury Island,” she explains.

He nods knowingly. “We’ll find him, Swan,” he says. “We’ll find your boy.”

//

The seer’s house is surprisingly easy to find, especially with it being the only house on the island. It is small and wooden, which Emma finds to be a completely awful design choice, considering it sits at the foot of a not so dormant volcano which, according to Hook, occasionally spews out balls of molten lava.

However, when they get to the door, they find it in fragments, wood chunks everywhere, the small living room ruined with jagged claw marks and blood. It’s quite a lot of blood.

“Scorch marks,” Hook points out as he makes his way inside, “It looks like this seer fought back and managed to vanquish some of these creatures,” he observes.

“And the blood looks fresh,” Tink adds, although she looks like she’s trying not to look directly at it.

Emma just nods. “Then we should see if she’s still alive.” The claw marks seem to lead downstairs. “And I guess the basement’s a good place to start.” Because of course it’s the basement. It’s always the basement.

They hear something as Emma, leading the group, steps onto the basement floor. It’s a shriek and Emma only has seconds to move before a red monster jumps at her face. She swings her sword wildly, hitting the monster away from her. She curses as she sees it in the darkness, stunned but not quite done yet.

It’s bigger than the ones she fought on Mercury. And it’s not alone. She readies for it to jump again when Hook joins her in the basement, his own sword at the ready.

“You know, you swing that thing like a club,” he comments. “Perhaps some lessons are in order.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “Seriously?” she asks. “This is not the time for this, and I can sword fight fine,” she insists. He smirks at her.

“Darling, you wouldn’t survive two minutes in an actual sword fight. Would you like to see how a sword is actually supposed to be used?” he asks. She glares at him but says nothing as he steps towards the creatures. They eye him suspiciously, yellow eyes glaring at the sword. 

They shriek before they jump, all at once towards him. Emma readies her sword to try to help him, but she has a gut feeling he doesn’t need her. He strikes the first one and ducks out of the way of the other two, letting them hit something with a crash. He turns, not even watching as the injured one bursts into ash, before giving the next two killing blows before they even recover. 

Emma has to admit that he knows how to use that weapon; perhaps he was right about those lessons… He turns back around, putting away the blade.

“I could have done that,” she mutters, looking away from his smug face.

“But not as dashingly as me, love,” he snickers, looking around. “But are we sure there was a seer here? Perhaps she wasn’t home when the monsters broke in?”

She looks around and agrees; it just looks like a bunch of junk in here. She walks around the place, hoping for some kind of clue.

“Is it safe?” she hears Tink timidly call from the staircase. “I found a torch,” she adds.

“All good, love,” Hook calls. Tink glares at him as she emerges, the torch in her hand lighting up the room. 

“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not your love! Can you please stop with the pet names?”

One of the walls looks different from the rest, Emma realizes. It’s not as smooth, and it’s hollow.

“You really suck out the fun out of everything don’t you, lass?” Hook notes. “A few pleasantries among friends isn’t going to kill you.”

Emma feels along the wall looking for something, anything that can prove to her what she’s suspecting, that it’s not a wall at all. She tries knocking on it, and after a moment, she hears something.

“First of all, I have a name; it’s Tink. Secondly, we are not friends. We are two people with a common goal: help Emma rescue her son. Thirdly, pleasantries with you might actually kill me,” Tink says fuming at the pirate.

“Will you both shut up?” Emma snaps. They do. She knocks again. She can hear it better this time (without the needless talking.) 

It sounds like help. “Hey can you hear me?” she says louder.

“Can I—“ Hook starts, but Emma shushes him.

“The monsters are gone; if you can hear me, know that it’s safe to open this door,” she says.

“ Is Kayto there? ” the voice says, muffled by the door but clear enough.

“No, just me and my companions,” she insists. “But we mean you no harm I promise,” she says gently.

“Kayto is the only one who can open the door,” the voice replies. “Please, you have to find my friend.”

She looks at Hook and Tink; she knows they’re thinking the same thing she is. The blood in the room—it was probably Kayto’s.

Emma considers telling this person that her friend is most likely dead and that there’s a good chance they’re going to have to blow the door down to free her, but Emma doesn’t have the heart to tell her that.

She doesn’t have it in her to leave someone behind, leave them to die. Or worse.

“Emma…” Hook says. He’s ready to tell her all the things she already knows.

“Ok. We’ll go find your friend.” Emma insists, giving Hook a look. “Will you be ok in there for a little while?” She asks.

“Yes, thank you. Thank you so much,” the voice replies.

 Hook waits until they’re outside to comment. She’s thankful for that.

“You are aware he’s most likely dead, right?” Hook asks.

Emma doesn’t respond. She just trudges out of that place, looking around for some direction as to where to go. She needs to hurry if there’s any hope for this guy. She notices a blood stain and follows it.

“Swan, this isn’t going to end well,” he continues. She doesn’t need to hear it, she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t have it in her to hear how she should just leave this guy behind. “He’s lost too much blood. You and I both know that.”

She does, but Emma doesn’t care. She has to try. She just has to.

Hook grabs her arm and Emma snaps.

“Then go if you don’t want to look!” she nearly yells at him. He recoils sharply. “Go if you just want to leave this guy behind, see what I care; but I’m going to go look for him, I’m going to go find out for sure one way or another, so stay out of my way.” She doesn’t wait to respond, just turning back towards the path. A single goal in mind.

She hears Hook following along behind her. He doesn’t say a word.

Good. She thinks. She doesn’t need his smug attitude anyway.

The trail leads along the perimeter of the island. Monsters block her path but she makes quick work of them, mentally preparing for more snark and comments about how she fights. She doesn’t care if she wasn’t trained right; it’s working. 

He still doesn’t say a word. Emma can feel his eyes boring into her, but she refuses to look at him. She doesn’t want him to say more things about how this guy was dead, more about how she’d fail, again. 

She was a Savior who couldn’t save a goddamn thing.

“Hello?”

Emma jolts, feeling something on the back of her neck. She turns around quickly, nearly hitting Hook with her blade. He curses as he barely dodges.

“I know you’re mad, but you do still need me to sail the Jolly,” he says with a hint of a joke. 

“Sorry, I thought…” she says, avoiding his gaze. She turns back around.

“You thought what, Swan?” he asks. It sounds crazy. It was this damn island, and a whole bag of issues playing tricks on her. “Come on, Swan—talk to me,” he insists.

She doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to hear any more negativity. 

“Doesn’t matter,” she mumbles. They keep walking. He takes up a position beside her.

“Something that didn’t matter almost made you take off my other hand,” he notes casually.

“I said I was sorry,” Emma snaps back.

“Can someone help me?” It happens again, a feeling in the back of her neck. She looks around, for something, anything to explain this…feeling.

“Swan? It’s happening again, isn’t it?” Hook insists, his arm grabbing hers. She tries to pull out of his grip, but he holds firm.

“Tell me what’s happening,” he says seriously. “I can’t help you if I’m left in the dark.”

She pulls away violently. “I don’t need your help!” she snaps angrily. 

Hook’s eyes darken. “Bloody hell, I’m not him alright?” he nearly shouts, his body rigid. “I’m not whoever it was that left you, so stop thinking every word out of my mouth is me trying to leave you, or this Kayto, or this quest. I’m trying to help and your own stubbornness is what’s getting in the way.”

Emma blinks. “How—“ Hook rolls his eyes, taking a step closer to her, getting in her space and staying there.

“You have the look in your eyes of someone used to being abandoned. I saw it the moment we met, but your outburst earlier showed me how deep it ran. Tell me—they said they loved you and then they ran? They left you in some peril; said they thought you were dead, aye?” he asks.

It strikes a nerve deep in her core, leaving her rattled. She can’t find the words. 

“Don’t think everyone is going to be the same. Don’t think I’m going to be the same,” he says sternly, gaze morphing into a smirk. “Trust me, love—you’ve never met a man like me before.” He adds a scandalous wink, making her cheeks turn red.

“Can anyone help me?” It’s louder this time.

“I keep hearing something,” she admits reluctantly, her shoulders sag. “A voice and it makes my whole body tense up, like something dangerous is near,” 

He looks at her calculatingly, eyes tracing over her face. “Well…what’s it saying?” he asks. She’s surprised by his response.

“It's…asking for help.” She wonders if he believes her, or wonders if he’s just humoring her.

“Well…have you tried answering it?” Hook replies with a bit of a head tilt. “Offer it our assistance?” 

Emma blinks in surprise. “You’re not serious.” Hook shrugs.

“Perhaps it can help us find our friend?” he suggests. “Can’t hurt.”

She turns around, trying to remember around where she heard it last. “Hey? Anyone here?” she calls.

Emma doesn’t expect an answer; she honestly believes she’s crazy, or sleep deprived, or both.

“Hello?” the voice calls again, almost as if on cue. 

“Hey!” she shouts. “I’m here; do you need help?” she asks, looking around for anything out of the ordinary. She doesn’t see anything.

“Be friendly, Swan,” Hook encourages with a wink. Emma rolls her eyes.

“ Can you hear me?” it asks. She sees something flickering in front of her. 

“Yes, I can.” It’s a blue flame of some sort. She looks at Hook; it’s obvious that he can’t see it. 

“ Oh that’s fantastic; I don’t know what happened to me!” it says, pure relief in its voice. The blue flame seems to morph as he speaks

 “What do you remember?” 

“ I remember cleaning My Lady’s home, sweeping, and the door burst open. My Lady was downstairs organizing her supplies. I called out to her, and told her monsters were attacking; usually they aren’t so strong, they fear My Mistress. They don’t bother us out of fear of her wrath, but these...these monsters attacked. My Lady got into the safe room, but I had to stay outside to close the door and—“

The ghost trails off, as the blue shape forms a person, short and small in stature, dark hair and eyes but a kind face. He seems worried.

Emma comes to the conclusion quite quickly that she’s speaking to Kayto’s ghost; they were already too late.

“ I don’t know what happened to her. Please—you have to find her and make sure she’s alright!” he insists.

Emma smiles sadly; she doesn’t know what to say, what to do. 

“Are they saying something to you, Swan?” Hook asks. Emma nods.

“Your lady is fine.” Emma tells the ghost. “She sent us looking for you. We can’t open the door; she said you were the only one who could.” He looks relieved. “She wanted us to help save you from the monsters,” she adds. “She’s very worried.”

He nods. “ Of course. The password is her name. Tell her to speak it without fear and the door will open.” She nods in understanding. She wonders if the ghost knows he’s dead, knows how to move on and not stay stuck here. 

“I’m sorry we were too late,” she says. He shakes his head, looking peaceful. His form flickers, his voice getting quieter.

“ Don’t be. Will you tell her not to think sadly of me? Will you tell her I was not in pain? Tell her to have hope, the change we are waiting for has arrived.”

Emma furrows her brows in confusion. “The change?” she asks.

He doesn’t respond to her question, she can barely see him.

“ Tell her I’m at peace knowing that she is safe and that soon, she will not be alone…” The voice fades as the figure does, but Emma feels…she doesn’t know. She feels something was missing. She feels like he isn’t gone.

“Everything ok?” Hook asks. Emma shakes her head; it’s probably nothing but while it looked to her like this guy was finding peace, she felt nothing. Emma doesn’t understand what’s happening, but she feels like peace should feel different from fading into nothing.

It feels wrong.

“It’s nothing,” she says. “Nothing that matters anyway. Come on; I know how to free our seer friend.”

When they return to the house, Tink is sitting on the floor, chatting happily with the seer. Tink is surprised to see them. “Where’s Kayto?” she asks immediately. Emma glares at her silently as she wanted to free the seer before breaking the news. You should have someone besides you when you learn your loved one was gone.

However, the seer surprises her.

“ He’s dead, isn’t he?” she asks. Emma sighs.

“Yes, but I know how to open the door,” she says hopefully. “And I have a message from him,” she adds. Emma tells her what to do and she can hear the seer chuckle.

“ Kayto was always silly like that, making the passwords my name, or my eye color or my favorite flower,” she laughs. “ Lily!” she says sternly and without wavering. Without hesitation, Emma hears the gears shift and the door between them drop to the ground.

“Welcome to the other side,” Tink says, holding out her hand for the Seer, Lily, to grab. She takes it and Emma can see the woman’s face is filled with tears, despite having a smile on her face. Tink pulls her into a firm hug. “I’m so sorry about your friend,” she says.  

“Me too.”

//

It takes some time to clean up as Tink takes Lily to her bedroom to rest. 

“Something bothered you, before,” Hook notes as he picks up pieces of the broken furniture as Emma mops. “When you were speaking to the dead.”

Emma shrugs, wishing he’d drop it.

“Sorry I wasn’t perky,” she says dryly.

“Does that often happen? The dead telling you their last wishes?”

“Not that I recall.” He doesn’t respond after that, seemingly getting the hint that Emma didn’t want to talk about it.

They have the room mostly clean by the time Lily and Tink return from upstairs. She gets a good look at her now. Lily was dressed in dark purple silks, tanned skin with darker brown hair. She was smiling, but Emma could see the grief radiating off the woman.

“You came to seek my assistance,” Lily says simply.

She feels nervous all of a sudden, unsure if they’d made the right decision to come here.

“I um…are you sure you’re up for this?” Emma asks. 

“You brought me Kayto’s last wishes; assisting you is the same as honoring my friend,” she confirms. “Tell me your—“ but Lily is cut off by the earth beneath their feet shaking. 

“Bloody hell!”

Bloody hell is right. Emma nearly loses her balance due to being forced to hug the wall to keep herself standing. Tink falls back on her butt, while Hook’s hook makes a scraping sound in the wall as he tries to avoid falling.

The shaking stops almost as abruptly as it begins.

“Sorry about your wall, lass…” Hook says sheepishly. Emma glances at the jagged marks in the wall. “I have something to patch it up onboard,” he offers.

Lily smiles kindly in his direction. “Thank you, Captain. It’s been a while since the island shook like that; it’s not a good sign,” she admits. “But that is none of your concern.”

Hook quietly makes his way out of the room. 

“Tell me your desire,” Lily says, pointing at a chair, now upturned besides the crystal ball on her table. “And I can take a glimpse into your destiny.”

Emma does as she asks; she’s not one to put much thought into ‘destiny’ and fate. She’s been screwed over by such thoughts before. But she’s willing to give it a try if it means finding Henry.

“I need to find the Demon Ship. There’s supposed to be something on this island that the Demon Ship wants. I need to know where it is,” she states.

“Many have come for this island’s treasure; none have found it.”

“Failing isn’t an option for me.” 

Lily takes her hands, and places them on the crystal.  “Close your eyes.” Emma expected it to be cold, but it felt like ice, sending a shiver down her whole body., She closes her eyes, trying to relax to let Lily work her magic.

“Mom?” Emma’s eyes snap open. She knows that voice.

“Henry?” she exclaims, seeing her boy in front of her. He looks the same—same clothes, hair rumpled and dirty, but same bright and hopeful eyes. “Oh, Henry,” she says pulling him into her arms. He hugs her close, burying his face into her chest. “Are you alright?”

He nods, “I’m fine, but I want to go home. Please come take me home,” he says, tears appearing in his eyes. 

“I will,” she swears. “I’m coming to find you. I promise nothing is going to stop me.” 

He nods. There’s a loud creaking sound, making Henry jolt to look away from her, in the direction she can’t see.

“Henry?” Her kid starts to fade from view, becoming translucent.

“Mom?” Henry says turning back towards her, looking panicked. “Mom!”

“I’ll find you, Henry!” But it’s too late, her eyes blink open and she sucks in a large breath, pulling away from the crystal and Lily. Her whole body is trembling.

“What did you do? Where did you take me?” Emma demands, her whole body is trembling and there are tears streaking down her face. 

“It’s you,” Lily says in amazement. “You’re the Savior.” Her eyes widen with delight. Emma’s widen in horror. “I thought it was...You’re here to save the island, and defeat the evil.” Emma shakes her head.

Not this again…

“ The Island needs you; you’re the only one who can do it,” she says, standing to embrace her, but Emma avoids her touch. Why this? Why this again? “The realm needs you, Emma. You can save this island; you can save us all from this evil.” She shakes her head. 

No. No. No.

“Are you sure?” Tink asks. “That she’s this Savior? What does that even mean?”

Lily turns to her. “The Savior was prophesied by my mother before I was born, to defeat a great evil, to restore balance. Now she is here, exactly when she is most needed. The Isle of Ember won’t last much longer.”

“Then it's a good thing she’s here,” Tink says with a nod. “I’ve learned not to doubt Emma. What does she have to do?”

“Why, climb Mt. Ember of course. Deep in the mountain lies a shrine to the Fairy of Power, but it’s been corrupted by evil—the same evil that has your child, Emma.”

They both look at her expectantly, like handing her responsibility for a whole island was a gift and not the burden it truly was.

“I don’t want to save anyone!” she exclaims loudly now. “I can’t do this. This savior you’re looking for its-its not me,” she insists. “I just want to save my kid. I just want Henry back,” she says in a smaller voice. “I don’t want to defeat some grand evil. I just want to go home!”

Lily and Tink look at her in surprise, or maybe it’s disappointment. Emma isn’t sure, so she doesn’t stick around to find out. She turns around and bolts for the door. She nearly trips as the ground shakes from another eruption, but Emma doesn’t care. She wants to run so that’s what she does. She just runs.

But with no destination, she happens to run right into Hook, quite literally as her body collides with his as he’s leaving the docks. Emma almost topples over, but Hook steadies her.

“Whoa, lass—what’s wrong?” he asks. Concern is written on his face, which is just great. Because if the pirate is showing concern for her then she must really be a wreck. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She was supposed to find a home for her and Henry, not let him get kidnapped. What kind of a mother is she?

What kind of Savior is she?

“A bloody great mother, Swan,” Hook insists. Emma hadn’t even realized she had said any of that out loud. “What’s this about?” he asks; his hand is still on her arm, holding her steady, keeping her rooted to the spot.

“They want me to go there,” she says in a too small voice, pointing to the mountain. “They want me to defeat whatever evil thing has taken over. They want me to save this whole place and I-I just can’t. I’m not a hero, I’m not the one for the job. I barely know how to hold a sword,” she admits. Her knees tremble at the thought of going in there.

He doesn’t respond at first, but he doesn’t let her go. 

“Does going in there help you save Henry?” he asks. It catches her off guard.

“I don’t know. She said the same evil that has Henry is in there, but he’s not here, he’s…lost.” She knows in her soul that he’s not here; the vision—it felt darker, colder. He was scared; he wanted his mother.

Hook nods. “But going in there lets you weaken that evil, right? Help you find your boy?” She nods. Emma hadn’t thought of it that way; all she heard was another mission, another thing she’s expected to do because she’s the only one who could and she just…she shut down.

But if it’s for Henry…

“When it comes to your son, Swan—well, I’ve yet to see you fail.”

She turns to look at him, watch his eyes, his expression. He’s telling the truth—he believes in her and that feels…odd. A strange warmth settles in her chest.

“Do you really mean that?” she asks in a soft voice, frightened of ruining this feeling.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean.” He says like it was nothing. Maybe it was. Maybe for people not raised how she was, being believed in was normal. “You’re bloody brilliant.”

Emma feels something in that moment; something precious and new. She felt like she could do anything if he kept looking at her like that.

“Besides,” he says, “How can you fail when accompanied by yours truly?”

“You're coming with me?”

“What else do I bloody have to do? Trust me, Swan,—I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Besides, perhaps you’d accept a sword lesson or two on the way?”

[evil-overlord-scriptology]

But I Don’t Want to be a Sensei Pt 1 (ARCHIVED)

Chapters 1 thru 7

Chapter 1: Of Arrogant Uncles and Annoying Brothers

My mouth dropped open as I regarded my clan leader, “You want me to do what?!” I screeched. Fugaku-sama didn't seem impressed by my breech in conduct. Feeling sheepish under his fierce gaze, I ducked my head. Damn the Uchiha Main Branch and their ability to cower anyone with a look. Usually I was unaffected by glares, being an Uchiha and all, but Fugaku and his family seemed to be the exception to that rule.

 “I will not repeat myself.” Fugaku-sama stated, crossing his arms and leveling a nasty look at me. Of course he wouldn't. My clan leader may have had a change of heart but he was still an arrogant asshole... not that I'd ever tell him that. I wasn't that insane, not matter what other people said.

 Still, my common sense didn't prevent me from keeping my mouth shut; Nii-san always did say that I had no concept of the art. Funny, since it was coming from him, “Well you damn well better repeat yourself, because I thought I heard you say that you want me to babysit your brat!” I snapped. I got extreme satisfaction in seeing Fugaku's eyes widen at my blatant disrespect. Whatever punishment I was about to receive was worth it.

 Fugaku-sama's Sharingan flashed, but being an Uchiha gave me some resistance to the intimidation of glowing red eyes. “You will not take that tone with me, Uchiha Yanagi, is that understood?” Fugaku ground out in that stern voice of his. Some deaf idiot might call it fatherly, but I could hear the cold undertone. If I stepped out of line again, I would probably be denounced as an Uchiha, if I was that lucky.

 I decided not to push my luck.

 I bowed low, “Apologizes, Uchiha-sama, I did not mean to offend.” I said in a false humble voice. Fugaku and I both knew that I had meant every word out of my mouth. I wasn't known as blunt and opinionated for nothing. Still, it was all a matter of pride. If I apologized then I would get an explanation from the infuriating man. That was the unspoken rule.

 Fugaku made me grovel a moment longer before sighing. “I want you to be a jounin sensei.” He stated again. Right off the bat, another sucker-punch. My clan leader didn't believe in sugarcoating words, that much was true.

 I bit my lip to keep the retort that was begging to be said in.

 “My eldest son's efforts to bring the Uchiha clan closer to the village are starting to fall short.” No surprise there, Konohagakure didn't trust the Uchiha clan for whatever absurd reason, and visa-versa. Five years ago the Uchiha clan had planned a coup d'état, I still do not understand the reasoning behind the Uchiha's actions. Luckily for the Uchiha clan, Fugaku's eldest son Itachi, and his friend Shisui, managed to stop the coup d'état before anything happened. Since then, the Uchiha and Konoha have been working hard to make past amends.

 And according to Fugaku, those amends weren't doing jack.

 “What does that have to do with me?” I asked, struggling hard to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I was already in hot water as it was. I didn't need to accidentally take a flying leap over the edge. The man gave me a displeased scowl, which I had a suspicion that he was just doing it because he wanted to. Fugaku seemed to be that kind of man.

 “The Hokage has recently thought up of a new plan to bring the clan closer to the village. We are to implement our teachings into the new generation that is graduating from the Academy. You are to be the first Uchiha jounin sensei.” Was it bad that this village had been around for a long time and I was the first ever Uchiha to be a sensei? I wanted to roll my eyes, but didn't. I could see through that false pride in a heartbeat. And I didn't need my Sharingan to do that.

 I sat back, seeing no need to keep bowing like some groveling peasant, and crossed my arms, “I still don't see what this has to do with me. Why not someone else? Itachi-san, perhaps. I'm sure he'd love to teach his younger brother.” Okay, the sarcasm was starting to show.

 “It is because of Itachi's relation to Sasuke that he is unable to be a jounin sensei.” And my relation to Sasuke wasn't? I was his first cousin, damn it! I couldn't help but notice that Fugaku failed to mention why I was the person chosen to be the glorious Uchiha sensei.

 Sometimes I think Fugaku should have been named 'weasel' instead of his eldest son.

 Before I could open my mouth, Fugaku waved his hand and turned his head away to find something new to occupy his attention, “Go. The class graduates tomorrow, you are to pick your team up the day after. The information packet will be sent to your house.” Damn old codger. He just had to change the subject before I could grill him some more. I gave a smart, slightly mocking, bow and marched out of the room. I just hoped that nothing else bad happened.

 Apparently it wasn't my lucky day.

 “Oof!” I ran smack into a hard body. Damn it, I wanted to get home and be as sarcastic and hateful as I wanted, not playing nice to more pompous Uchiha men! I took a step back and glared up at the person I had run into. I groaned wordlessly when I saw who it was and ground my teeth together so I wouldn't speak.

 Shisui gave me an easy smile, “Yanagi...” He acknowledged with an amused tone. His dark eyes darted to the room I had just exited, then back to me, “Have a good argument?” The man asked teasingly. If anyone knew I liked arguing with my betters, it was Shisui. Sometimes I think he was the reason why I argued so much. I glared at him and made to walk past him, but he stepped in my path, “Ah, don't be mean, Yagi... You know I love you.” Shisui whined in a playful tone.

 I intensified my glare and punched Shisui in the gut. I was the only person allowed to physically hit Uchiha Shisui and get away with it, and I took advantage of my privileges. Like usual, Shisui took the blow with a good-natured chuckle, “Still giving me the silent treatment, eh? Yagi, I think you hold the record for holding grudges.”

 My jaw worked as I thought about breaking my five year silence towards the goofy Uchiha. His comment did deserve a response, but if I did say something he would only tease me about breaking my silence. I really wanted to slap him for using that stupid childhood name too, we weren't kids anymore; but I doubt Shisui would be very amused with a slap to the face. Hitting yes, slapping... not so much.

 I was saved from making the choice when Fugaku-sama called from inside his office, “Shisui!” The old codger barked like the badger he was. Still, he saved me from dealing with the stupid Uchiha before me, so I'd let him off the hook this one time. I gave Shisui a self-satisfied smirk, which he returned with a wink and a mocking little bow, as I dodged around the twenty-three year old man and took off like there was no tomorrow.

 Of all the Uchiha, Shisui was probably the one who annoyed me the most, even more so than my brother.

 vvv

 “YANAGI!!! Close the damn door!” My brother screeched like an old wife when I walked in the house we lived in. I rolled my eyes and slammed the door shut. I had just walked in and he was acting like I had left the door open for hours, not mere seconds.

 “I didn't have the chance before you started yelling at me!” I yelled back as I sat down to take off my sandals. Calmly I put the black shoes neatly on the floor where I could shove my feet in them if I was in a hurry and kicked Nii-san's shoes out of the way. My brother was a slob and he proudly admitted to it. There was a reason why I didn't get along with him, we were too different; we were almost opposite in every way.

 Obito cursed and stomped into the living room, his one eye livid, “You're late and I'm hungry. Get in the kitchen!” Nii-san said, half playfully, throwing his head back and pointing a rigid finger towards the kitchen.

 “Go shove ramen down your throat. I'm not cooking.” I hissed as I started for my room. I wasn't Obito's slave, there was no way I was going to do anything I didn't want to.

 Of course Obito wasn't going to have any of that. Before I could get three feet from him, Nii-san had his arms wrapped around my waist and was bodily dragging me to the kitchen. “Food, now! Smartass comments later.” He ordered. I made sure to fight him all the way, if Obito was determined to get me to cook, he was going to regret every second of it.

 I wondered if Kakashi left that poison around from the last mission...

 “I already got rid of the poison. Nice try.” Obito said dully as he shoved me through the doorway to the kitchen. I groaned, he knew me too well. “Now do your womanly duties!”

 My eyes narrowed as I glared at my brother, “Does that include providing someone with children?” I asked sarcastically. I could predict what Obito would do. He would go into a tirade how no man was to touch me until I was forty, and even then it was to be with a fifty foot pole. My brother was more overprotective than a father would be. No father in their right mind would attempt to order a twenty-one year old jounin around, but Obito did and he somehow got away with it. The only people of the male persuasion who were allowed withing a ten foot radius of me when Nii-san was around was himself and Kakashi, who was basically another brother to me–I only liked him more.

 As I predicted, Obito immediately went on defense, “Why, has anyone asked? Cuz I'll skin them alive, castrate them with a rusty kunai, rip their spine out and choke them with it! And in that order!”

 I rolled my eyes at my brother's exuberant behavior as I bent down to dig around in the cupboards before I found the pot I wanted. “Alright, Nii-san, don't go on another man hunt. The Hokage said no more.”

 Obito crossed his arms with a pout, “I didn't hurt that one guy that bad...” He grumbled.

 “You put him in the hospital!”

 “He's the one who tripped.”

 “And fell off the roof that you had cornered him on.”

 “It's his own fault, he shouldn't have tried to run.”

 My right eye twitched as I turned away and slammed the pot down on the stove, just pretending that the stove was Obito's head and I was bashing it in. My anger still not spent, I went around the kitchen making Miso soup and imagining every ingredient I used was Obito's head. I especially liked it when I was dicing the green onions. My brother was too protective when it came to my romantic life–though, thanks to Obito, my romantic life was practically nonexistent. The man that had fallen off the building during Obito's last man hunt hadn't even been really into me. He was just flirting for the sake of flirting. I could see that in his eyes. But of course my brother didn't bother to think about it. He just charged in without thinking.

 And people wondered why I didn't like my brother.

 Obito, being the perceptive Uchiha that he was, said, “Stop beating my imaginary head in. Kakashi-baka is coming to dinner.”

 “And what does Kakashi coming over have to do with me crushing your skull?” I asked testily.

 For the first time since I had been home, Obito finally cracked a smile. It wasn't as goofy as it could be, more cynical, “Because Kakashi-baka might try and make it into a reality! You're making Miso soup right?” Miso soup was the only dish that I could make that met Kakashi's snooty taste buds. I swear the man was more picky than Fugaku-sama, who was legendary when it came to being a picky eater.

 “I was going to make it anyway. It's easy and fast and you hate it.” I snapped playfully. Obito only pouted, which meant he knew I was teasing. If he thought I had been serious we would already be fighting again.

 Nii-san reached over and tugged hard on my ponytail, “Watch it brat, or I might handcuff you to Shisui.” I shivered at the thought. Being handcuffed to someone I wasn't speaking to wouldn't be fun, especially since they would do everything in their power to make me talk. Obito laughed at my expression of horror, “Why do you hate him anyway?” He asked.

 I shot Nii-san a glare, “I don't hate Shisui... he just reminds me of you too much.”

 Obito gave a sly smile, “So you do hate him.” He stated.

 “No, I don't. I hate his personality.”

 “That's the same as hating him.”

 “Uchiha Obito, do not incur my wrath, it will be the end of you!”

 Obito smirked and sang teasingly, “You're just proving my point by changing the subject~!” He barely dodged the ladle I threw at him, considering it was at point blank I was rather impressed by my brother's evading skills. We were too busy glaring at each other now to pay attention to where the ladle went.

 “Yo! Is this a bad time?” Kakashi's voice said behind Obito. My eyes widened as I looked over my brother's shoulder at his best friend and old teammate. He was twirling the ladle around his right index finger, his only visible eye closed in an eye-smile. Behind Kakashi, Rin was giggling at the scene before her, her fingers pressed against her lips.

 Obito immediately spun around at the sound of Kakashi's voice, his single eye zeroing in on Rin. I sighed, though Obito said he was over Rin I suspected my brother still loved the twit. I never really liked her that much. She was nice and friendly, I admit; but there was no way she could be oblivious to my brother's aberrant affection, not without having to be a nitwit. So either she was stupid for not noticing that Obito loved her, or cruel enough to never dissuade him. I might not like my brother as some siblings did, but I still cared for him on some degree. And I didn't like how Rin treated him throughout their genin days. But for the sake of my brother's feelings, I never voiced my opinions.

 This silence was getting awkward as Obito just stared at Rin...

 BONG!!

 “Ouch! Yanagi, what the hell was that for?!” Obito shouted, clutching the back of his head as he turned to glare at me. I smiled sweetly as I could and tossed the dented metal cooking spoon into the trash. Just because I cared for my brother's feelings to a degree didn't mean anything. I was still going to abuse my power as the younger sister.

 “Can't I be a pest without any reason?” I asked innocently as I poured four bowls of Miso soup and passed them out among the three former members of Team Minato, keeping one for myself. From the way Nii-san's eye narrowed I knew his answer was 'no I couldn't'. I grinned evilly at him, my brother didn't have a say in what I did anyway. If I wanted to hit him in the back of the head with a metal spoon, I would.

 Kakashi sighed at our antics, “You two are idiots.” He said dully, the cheerful nature he had been sporting disappearing to be replaced with his true personality. Obito of course started yelling at Kakashi while I just rolled my eyes. I loved to argue, but only when I got a reaction out of people. Kakashi wouldn't react if I lit his clothes on fire.

 I listened mildly as the two exchanged insults, Kakashi's were more subtle than Obito's, sipping periodically from my bowl. It was hard to believe that those two men were part of Konoha's elite ninja. They bickered like five year olds. I glanced over at Rin to see her right eye twitching in irritation. Ever since that S-ranked mission years ago during the Third Shinobi War, her personality had gone from timid and sweet to more assertive. My mouth twitched upwards, I could hardly remember the days when Rin unsuccessfully tried to reason with Kakashi and Obito. Now however...

 The brown haired woman reached across the table and grabbed both men by their ears, pulling hard, “Would you two behave?!” She snapped when she had their attention. Kakashi jerked his ear from her grasp and glared at her. Obito only whined like the baby he was. Soon all three of them were arguing. I snorted into my bowl. If there was one thing that could be said about my brother and his friends, it was they knew how to keep me entertained.

 Just as Obito threw the first kunai–which was a regular occurrence among these three–there was a knock at the door. All four of us stopped what we were doing to look at the door in confusion. It was rare that Obito or I got any visitors, much less ones who actually knocked on the door instead of walking in like they owned the place. After the scandal about Nii-san refusing to take his left sharingan back from Kakashi, the Uchiha clan pretty much isolated Obito and me.

 I went to answer the door and was surprised to see a Konoha official, not an Uchiha, standing there looking nervous. I really didn't blame him, Obito and I were known for our short tempers and brash behavior. We weren't exactly typical Uchiha clan members in that sense. Because of our reputation, I saw no need to be polite, “What do you want?” I asked shortly.

 The Konoha nin gulped and shoved a moderately thick packet at me, “Meeting is tomorrow at the Hokage's office. Good day, Uchiha-san.” The man said quickly then high tailed it out of there.

 Obito was on my case the second I closed the door, “What's all that about? Why does the Hokage want you? Speak, imoto!” My brother said his single eye staring intensely at the packet in my hands. I shoved past him, ignoring his questions. If Obito knew that Fugaku-sama was forcing me to be a jounin sensei, I would never hear the end of it.

 I forgot about Kakashi.

 “You're going to be a jounin sensei?” The white haired nin asked curiously. He recognized the packet, having been almost a jounin sensei himself a couple of occasions. Kakashi always failed the potential genin and went back to being an ANBU captain. He was infamous for failing ever single student. I didn't know why the Hokage continuously tried to make Kakashi a sensei when he clearly didn't want to be one.

 That made two of us.

 “WHAT?!” Obito screeched and the three of us winced at his tone. I sighed as I tucked the packet under my arm. This was going to be a long day.

  Chapter 2: Last Day of Freedom

“There's that kid... You know I heard he's the only one who failed.”

 “Hmph, serves him right.”

 “Can you imagine what would happen if he became an ninja?”

 I opened my eyes as my ears picked up on the conversation among the happy parents celebrating their brats' graduation. Turning my head slightly to the left and looking down, I could see the object of the women's conversation straddling the swing hanging from the tree I was lounging in. I felt no pity for him. I had chased after the yellow haired menace too many times for disruption of the peace and defacing public property; since part of the Konoha Police Force's job was to watch over the brat and make sure nothing befell him as well as keep him from pranking.

 The little fox brat always managed slipped past the Police Force squads and caused a ruckus anyway.

 I glanced over my shoulder at my teammate sitting in the same tree I was. Ibo was watching the gossiping peahens with fierce intensity. Should either of the women make a threatening move towards Naruto, the white haired Uchiha would step in and 'dissuade' them from continuing their attack. Ibo glanced at me when he felt my gaze. I wordlessly lifted my hand and made a series of quick one handed signs. Ibo nodded silently and repeated the hand gestures to our other teammate who was on the ground, leaning in the shade of the Academy building.

 Ibo and I watched as Denryoku waded into the crowd of proud brats and mushy parents, his dark eyes on the two women. All conversation dwindled away as everyone watched the imposing man stalk towards the bimbos. Both women snapped their attention around to the Uchiha, but I was too far away to see their expression. Denryoku gave the two a polite smile and nod as he passed by them without a word, continuing down the street like he was going on patrol and nothing more. When he was gone, the woman bent closer together to whisper, eyes darting for any more signs of the police. I grinned a little to myself, nothing like reminding two idiots that the Konoha Police Force was always monitoring Naruto and any hint of revealing the secret about him.

 I stood and stretched my arms above my head, using chakra to keep me balanced on the slim tree branch, “Come on, Ibo, our work is finished.” I said dully.

 My more silent teammate shot me a glance as he too stood up. In a quick succession of hand signals, my teammate informed me that we weren't off duty yet. I rolled my eyes and pointed downwards, where the swing Naruto had been sitting on swung back and forth wildly. The kid had gone off with one of his teachers, he was safe and we didn't have to worry any more. Ibo still looked skeptical, but followed me nonetheless. I was captain of the squad for a reason.

 And it wasn't just because I was the only one who knew how to do paperwork correctly.

 Denryoku was flirting with a small crowd of girls when we walked up on him. I rolled my eyes. Like all Uchiha men, Denryoku had a fanclub. The only problem was, unlike most Uchiha, Denryoku adored his fans almost as much as they adored him.

 “Enjoying yourself?” I asked as Ibo and I walked up on our teammate. A few of his fangirls squealed when they saw Ibo standing beside me, but he ignored them.

 Denryoku gave me a cocky grin, his arms wrapped around the shoulders of two chesty and scantly clad women, “You know you want some of me too, Yanagi!”

 I stared at him expressionlessly.

 The flirty Uchiha stared back for a minute before hanging his head in defeat and cursing, “Damn it, Yanagi! Why do you have to be so intimidating?!” He growled as he stepped away from the sluts and crossed his arms with a pout.

 I grinned briefly before letting my face fall back into neutral, “It's a gift. Now we have to report, say goodbye to your girlfriends and hurry up.” I said and started to turn away, but Ibo grabbed my arm. Silently he pointed back towards the Academy. I followed his finger then groaned when I saw Fugaku-sama making his way towards us. Denryoku immediately leapt to our side when he saw our clan leader, scrubbing at his lipstick stained cheeks with the cuff of his sleeve. Fugaku was a bit of a prude and he thought that Uchiha shouldn't degrade themselves with vulgar behavior.

 It was a wonder how he managed to Mikoto-oba pregnant twice.

 The three of us bowed when Fugaku-sama stopped in front of us, though I didn't bow nearly as low as Ibo or Denryoku. Behind Fugaku stood his family, complete with the newly made genin brat that I would have the pleasure of torturing tomorrow.

 “Report.” Fugaku said, crossing his arms with a stern look he always wore when dealing with the Konoha Police Force squads. I stayed silent as Denryoku informed the Konoha Police Force Commander of all that had transpired. I wasn't going to speak unless my clan leader addressed my directly. And even then I might only yell at him for making me become a sensei. I loved my patrol, it was probably the only thing I enjoyed. And Fugaku-sama was taking that away all for the sake of his brat.

 My eyes darted towards the duckass boy, he was talking amiably to his older brother about whatever brats like to talk about. Tomorrow he wouldn't be smiling, I was going to make his life a living hell. Maybe he would actually quit being a ninja. I'd get a kick out of seeing how his family reacted to that.

 Sasuke must have felt my stare because he turned to me with questioning eyes. I held his gaze as my mouth tilted upwards into a sneer. I was starting to look forward to tomorrow and see how he reacted in knowing that I would be his sensei. I was even starting to hope that one of his more annoying fangirls got on the team, if only to torture Sasuke.

 Things were starting to look up.

 I was still smiling when Fugaku left my squad alone. Immediately after the Main Branch family left, Denryoku turned to me, “What sort of torture do you have planned for that poor kid?! You were practically scaring the shit out of Sasuke!” The loud mouth flirt exclaimed. Both my squad members knew of my involuntary retirement form the police force, they would be losing their captain after all. Even worse, while I was on my little quest to make the clan look good, Ibo and Denryoku would be on their own 'bring the Uchiha closer to the village' mission.

 I wouldn't return to the police force since I would be a permanent sensei, then a team leader if the genin made chunnin by some miracle. So Fugaku had found a replacement to take over my position as captain. Normally it wouldn't be that bad, but the great clan leader in all his infinite glory had decided to pull another jerk move on my poor teammates.

 They were getting an Hyuuga as a captain.

 All in the name of peace between the Uchiha and Konohagakure, at least that was what Fugaku-sama said. For years only Uchiha were trained as Konoha's police; but that lead to suspicion that the police were being biased towards the Uchiha clan, so Fugaku began granting admission to any who could make the cut. As a result there was an influx of many non-Uchiha police officers, but none had ever been given the rank of captain.

 Until now, apparently.

 Denryoku sighed and stuck his lower lip out in a pout, “Why do you have to go? Why can't it be Ibo? He's no fun.” Our silent teammate shot Denryoku a nasty look that was almost on par with mine, but as usual the abnormally white haired Uchiha said nothing.

 I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands in my pockets, “Because then Ibo would have to actually talk. Besides, he hasn't activated the Sharingan, so he can't teach Sasuke. I have and I'm proficient with our Kekke Genkai, but I'm not powerful enough like Itachi-san or Shisui to matter if I become a jounin sensei.”

 “You know that question was rhetorical, right?” Denryoku asked drily, giving me a look out of the corner of his eye.

 I only shrugged. Denryoku was famous for asking a question he wanted to know the answer to then claiming it was rhetorical. I suspected he did that to seem smarter, especially when the answer was obvious. “Come on, let's celebrate our last night together as a squad and go drinking.” I said and threw my arms over my tall teammates shoulders. I was tall for a women, almost as tall as a man, and they were still taller than me. It wasn't fair!

 Ibo immediately shrugged my arm off and turned his head away from us. I'd bet a thousand ryo that the guy was blushing. Ibo was extremely shy, but he hid it underneath layers of neutral expressions and silence. It was one of the reasons why Fugaku paired Ibo with Denryoku and me, so that he would never have to speak and go outside of his comfort zone. Fugaku may be a grade-A jerk, but he stilled cared for his clan members.

 Denryoku wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer, “Sure! I love it when you get drunk! You're not a surly woman then.” He said cheerfully. I glared at him, contemplating whether that comment deserved setting Obito after my teammate or not. Denryoku seemed to catch on to what I was thinking, because he paled, “Not your brother...” He pleaded as he jerked his arm away from my waist.

 I grinned. It was nice to know that my teammate feared my brother enough that he would do anything I said if only to avoid the overprotective Uchiha. “Don't worry, Denryoku, I'm sure Nii-san won't hurt you too bad.” I said teasingly. Denryoku was starting to look ill.

 “You're terrible, Yanagi-san...” A soft barely audible voice said. Denryoku and I snapped our heads around to stare at Ibo, who was staring at his feet. Knowing the white haired Uchiha, he probably hadn't meant to say that out load. With shaking hands, Ibo quickly made the hand signals for an apology. Denryoku and I exchanged looks, our faces twisting up in amusement. When Fugaku had put the shy Uchiha on our squad after our last teammate retired, the clan leader had warned us about Ibo's habit to speak through jounin hand signals. We hadn't taken him seriously then.

 After three years of being on the same squad, Ibo had spoken maybe fifteen words, including the four he had just said, and used hand signs the rest of the time. It was his way of speaking.

 Denryoku pounced on Ibo, grabbing the younger Uchiha in a choke hold, “If you ever want to get a girl, you've gotta learn to talk to one, you know.” The flirt said as he ruffled Ibo's white hair with his knuckles. Ibo just took the treatment without struggle.

 I sighed, “You two are idiots. Come on, I want to drink. Maybe I'll get a hangover for tomorrow.” I said dully as I started for the nearest bar.

 Denryoku followed, Ibo still in his choke hold. “Fugaku-sama will kill you if you show up hungover tomorrow. We've all seen you the day after you're dead drunk, I can't think of anyone with a worse temper.” He pointed out.

 “Fine. I'll just get a little drunk.” I compromised.

 “Yeah right... someone is going to challenge you to a drinking game and you'll be stone drunk before you know it.” Denryoku countered drily. I glared at Denryoku, who went white and ducked behind Ibo. I felt proud that I could scare one of the physically strongest Uchiha in the clan with only a glare. Ibo sighed at the both of us and shook his head, probably wondering for the millionth time why Fugaku-sama put him on Konoha Police Squad 18.

 After flashing our ninja registration cards that showed we were all jounin at the bartender, Denryoku and I started our night getting drunk on sake. Ibo sat beside us, watching us out of the corner of his eye. Ibo never drank, having some medical condition that prevented him from partaking in the fun. Besides, we needed someone to make sure Denryoku and I didn't do something stupid.

 Half the time we did something stupid anyway.

 It took nearly two hours for Denryoku to get intoxicated, and soon after I joined him in that state of extreme happiness. I got a good laugh watching the older Uchiha flirt with anything that moved, even the bartender. I nearly fell off my stool at the expression of revulsion that the bartender sported when Denryoku asked him on a date.

 “Well you seem to be enjoying yourself.” A highly amused voice said behind me.

 I turned around with a grin, “ 'Kashi-nii-san! I didn't know you would be here, enjoying your last night of freedom too? Or did the Hokage finally learn his lesson and give up making you a jounin sensei?” I asked, my words only slightly slurred together.

 The grey haired male blinked his visible eye, from amusement or confusion that I was actually being friendly, I didn't know. He nodded towards a booth set in the back, where most of the other Jounin Elite sat chatting. My brother wasn't there luckily, he'd kill me if he knew I was drunk. I swear that man treated me like a five year old. “We're enjoying the night too.” Kakashi said mildly, not answer my question.

 Denryoku turned around, his right eye twitching in annoyance, “Hey... cool guy. My girlfriend, so back off.” The drunk Uchiha slurred. Ibo sighed and forcibly turned Denryoku back around, shooting an apologetic look at Kakashi.

 Kakashi watched my two teammates for a moment before turning to me, his visible eye questioning. I shrugged as I knocked back another shot of sake, “He's talking crazy, I'd never date him.” I dismissed the accusation easily.

 My drunk teammate turned to me, rivers of tears running down his cheeks, “Bu-but... Yanagiii... you said you loved me!” I rolled my eyes at him as I laughed out right. Only in his dreams would I ever say that I loved Denryoku, other than a friend. The Uchiha wailed loudly and threw himself all over poor Ibo, who's expression screamed 'do not want'. I laughed at their faces.

 The Hatake jounin scratched the back of his head nervously, “So this is why Uchiha never get drunk...” He said mostly to himself. I nodded happily, even though it wasn't a question. The Uchiha clan was so uptight that it had to take being stone drunk for them to relax.

 I leaned closer to Kakashi as if to share a secret, “Hey... do you think that Ibo-kun would be talkative if we got him drunk?” I asked in a loud whisper. The white haired Uchiha shot me a dirty look as he struggled to push Denryoku off of him.

 “Maybe. Let's not try it though. I think you should go home and rest up for tomorrow.” Kakashi hedged.

 My mood changed from happy to angry in .06 seconds. I glared at Kakashi, “Oh? Are you on 'Sister Duty'? Gotta make sure Obito's little sister behaves herself, huh? I'm a grown woman, Hatake Kakashi, I don't need you to tell me what to do!” Kakashi's hands went up in the air as he tried to defend himself. Outraged that he was lying, or so I thought in my hazy mind, I lashed out at him.

 vvv

 “Whoever invented hangovers should be dragged out in the street and made into a senbon pincushion.” I growled as Kakashi and I stumbled into the Hokage's office the next morning. The man had to physically drag me out of bed and then threatened to take away my supply of candy if I didn't get dressed. Excuse me if I don't feel any sympathy towards the jerk.

 My brother's best friend/rival sighed as he let me lean on him, “That's what you get,” Kakashi grumbled. I wasn't very high on Kakashi's 'nice list' since I apparently had managed to land a punch to his face before he used his sharingan to knock me out. I don't remember ever doing anything of the sort, but everyone I asked confirmed that I had socked Kakashi in the jaw for what appeared to be nothing.

 If I wasn't so proud that I landed a hit on the infamous Copy-nin, I would feel bad.

 I glared at him, “Just for that I hope you get the Uzumaki brat.” I growled testily. I almost felt sorry for the genin I would have to teach. Today they were going to face me at my worst, not even Obito dared to argue with me when I was hungover.

 Before Kakashi could respond, the Third Hokage cleared his throat. Both of us turned to see the old man giving us a stern look, the rest of the jounin looking exasperated. Suddenly I realized how late the both of us were. I glared up at Kakashi, I could see that smirk through his face mask. Kakashi had gotten Obito's habit of showing up extremely late to anything. He knew that being late was one of my biggest pet peeves, which meant the Copy-nin had done it on purpose.

 “Remind me to murder you later on.” I growled darkly as I stepped away from Kakashi, swaying on my feet. The jerk only gave me an eye smile, confirming that he had made me late on purpose. Though, after punching him last night, I suppose I deserved it.

 Still didn't make me any less mad.

 The Hokage started off with the spiel about how being a sensei was a big responsibility and that we were in charge of the next generation of shinobi, which then turned into a big motivational speech about the importance of genin. I sighed as I stuffed my hands into my pockets, if I thought Fugaku-sama was a long winded old fool, he had nothing on the Sandaime Hokage. Sometimes I wondered if Lord Hiruzen was Hokage because he was boring enough to talk his enemies to death.

 I tucked my chin in and closed my eyes, half listening to the Hokage as he informed all the jounin present that we could use whatever teaching methods we wished, as long as it was ethical. I smirked at that. The Uchiha clan was famous for getting as close to unethical as we could and still not breaking the rules. Still, if Fugaku learned that I was torturing his duckass son, he'd kill me. Worse, Itachi-san would be after my blood as well. The whole clan knew how much Itachi loved his little brother. I really didn't need the Uchiha Prodigy and ANBU Black Ops captain out to kill me.

 I'd have to keep my teachings ethical to all my students, or it would seem like I was playing favoritism towards Sasuke. And that was something I didn't want anyone accusing me of.

  Chapter 3 Enter Team 7!

“Morning Sasuke-kun... mind if I sit next to you?” A girlish voice said.

 The Uchiha blinked and looked away from his conversation with his cousin, Netsui. His classmate Sakura stood at the end of the table, her hands clasped in front of her flat chest. Sasuke's right eye gave a miniscule twitch. He really didn't understand why all the fangirls flocked to him when they could easily chase after Netsui, who was easily more willing than Sasuke.

 Netsui sighed and threaded his fingers behind his head. He didn't understand why Sasuke got all the fangirls. Even his twin sister Nerai was a stupid fangirl! Though, Netsui didn't want his own sister to be his fangirl, that was just wrong. Still, it was unfair that the son of the Uchiha clan leader got all the girls and not one of the other boys got an admirer. Netsui watched with mild interest as the fangirls all got into a fight about who should get to sit next to Sasuke; even if Netsui would never know the bliss of girls fighting over him, it was still fun to watch.

 Sasuke glanced back at his pouting cousin, fully intending to ignore his rowdy fangirls. They would all just stand there and argue until Iruka-sensei came in, there was no point in listening to the girls squabble about who came in first and got first dibs on the chair next to Sasuke.

 “Aniki says they divide us into three man teams. Who do you think you'll get paired with?” Sasuke asked.

 The brown haired Uchiha shrugged as his eyes lingered on the crowd of fangirls, “I don't know. Iruka-sensei probably has our teams already figured out. We can't help who we get paired up with. It could be a complete randomization...”

 “Or it could be a complex system,” Sasuke finished, “But if that's true, then how would they separate us?”

 Netsui shrugged again. It was his nervous habit, every single time his mother yelled at him about something, he just started shrugging. Honestly, he couldn't name what was making him nervous at the moment. Netsui got along fine with Sasuke. They were friends, being the top two smartest students in the academy, plus the only two Uchiha in their class, not counting Netsui's boy crazed sister. “Possibly by age or personality. Skill would be kind of dumb, since the lowest of the class would be paired with each other and never get anything done.” Netsui answered Sasuke's question.

 Sasuke frowned, that made sense, but he felt that he was missing information. As an Uchiha, he didn't like not having all the facts. When he had asked his brother, all Itachi said was that he would be placed on a three man squad with a jounin sensei. Then there was yesterday...

 Sasuke folded his hands in front of his mouth as he pondered his cousin's actions from yesterday. Yanagi-itoko had given him such an evil grin, it had almost given him chills. Almost. That police officer knew something about today, the way her eyes gleamed spoke as much. And it didn't bode well with Sasuke at all from the looks of it.

 A foot landing on the desk in front of him startled Sasuke out of his thoughts. There was that dead last idiot, Naruto, squatting in front of Sasuke and glaring. Sasuke's eyes narrowed instantly. Normally he didn't care what the idiot did; and Sasuke was never impolite to Naruto or Mikoto would flay his hide. Still, there were certain boundaries that Naruto clearly didn't understand; and that was unforgivable.

 “Naruto! Hey stop glaring at Sasuke-kun!” Sakura shouted.

 Naruto looked around at Sakura confused. The blonde boy honestly didn't understand what Sakura saw in Sasuke. Sure, the midnight blue haired Uchiha wasn't as rude as some of the boys in their class, but he was still a prick to a degree. Naruto looked back at the impassive Uchiha in front of his face. Sasuke's eyes narrowed just a fraction of an inch, enough to be classified as a glare.

 It went down hill from there...

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 I was the only one who burst out laughing when Naruto and Sasuke accidentally kissed. I could just see all the blackmail use I could get out of it. Those two would practically be my slaves, and then if some dimwitted girl should fall in love with those bozos, I was so bringing this incident back up. I might even inform Sasuke's family just for the reactions I would get from Fugaku-sama and Itachi-san.

 Maybe there was justice in the world.

 The Hokage sighed, “As usual... Naruto is right in the middle of some kind of trouble.” The old man commented when Sasuke's fangirls proceeded to beat Naruto within an inch of his life. Honestly I was still dying over the fact that my younger cousin's 'first kiss' was stolen by a rowdy boy, I really didn't care what a bunch of vain brats did to the Kyuubi kid.

 Kakashi gave me a slightly annoyed look out of the corner of his eye and elbowed me in the side to get my attention. I bit down on my first knuckle to muffle the snickers still leaking out as the Hokage went on some long winded last minute detailing about some special team that Asuma was getting. It took the entirety of Hiruzen's speech, which was saying something, but I finally got my giggles under control.

 Hiruzen-sama motioned to one of the shinobi officials sitting beside him. The nondescript person, seriously I couldn't even tell if it was female or male, passed out even more packets to the jounin. The Lord Hokage explained as his assistant distributed the stacks of papers, “These are a basic outline of the students you will be assigned. It contains a brief overview of their academics, personality, and abilities so you can adjust your training to fit their goals.”

 I couldn't help but scoff softly at that. 'Adjust your training' my ass. The Uchiha didn't adjust training, the students adjusted to the training or they failed and became a disgrace to the clan. Still, I had to keep reminding myself that the parents of my students would murder me- Fugaku being at the front of the line- if I mistreated their brats.

 Rolling my eyes because I could, I reached into the large envelope as all the other jounin did the same, and pulled out a small stack of thick paper. Dropping the envelope to the floor now that I didn't need it, I began leaving through the pages. I skipped completely over Sasuke's overview, if he was anything like a normal Uchiha then I shouldn't have a problem teaching him.

 My mouth hit the floor when I saw the remaining teammates of the new Team 7.

 Screw justice, the karma demons hated me again.

 vvv 3rd Person vvv

 “...All the genin will be grouped into three man squads, each squad will be lead by a jounin- an elite ninja.” Iruka-sensei finished his little speech.

 Sakura and Ino perked up at the same time and the same thoughts ran through their minds. A three man squad... that meant that some lucky girl would be placed on Sasuke's team! Ino recovered first and quickly pulled her aloof mask back down on her expression. “Well someone's gotta be on Sasuke-kun's group, I wonder who it will be...?”

 The pink haired girl sitting in front of her glanced slightly over her shoulder and said coolly, “I don't know.” As if the thought of anyone other than Sakura herself didn't really matter to her, when in fact it did. She was bound and determined to be on Sasuke's team if it killed her, she was certain of it. After all, Sakura was smart enough to figure out how the teams were divided. It was a sure win that she would be on Sasuke-kun's team!

 Iruka-sensei grinned, “We separate the squads by strength and abilities, that will determine who you are teamed up with.” See? Just like Sakura predicted! Because she was the most intelligent she would be placed with the strongest fighter, which was Sasuke. The only problem was that whoever was the weakest would also be put on the team, to balance them out. Sakura glanced to her right to see Naruto looking deep in thought, most likely she would be placed with him as well. What a nightmare!

  Iruka-sensei lifted the papers that listed the teams and called out in a louder voice, “I will now announce the squads!”

 All across the class room, each new genin were going through their own mental list, trying to puzzle out who they would be teamed with, all the while being sure to listen for when their names were called. Sasuke sighed and folded his hands in front of his mouth, this wasn't good. He was one of the strongest in the class; as was his cousin Netsui, so that meant they probably wouldn't be put on a team. Well there went his one chance at being comfortable with his new team. Now he would actually have to speak the people he normally wouldn't, and the kunoichi would probably be a fangirl. Sasuke shuddered at the thought.

 “Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto...” Iruka said and the blonde boy perked up. This was his team, Naruto could only hope that they wouldn't hold him back or anything, since he was a kickass ninja! “Hyuuga Hinata...” The shy little heiress almost fainted then and there. Her wish had been granted, she was on the team with Naruto-kun! “and Uchiha Sasuke.”

 Sakura and Ino stared at the sensei with open mouths, they had been so sure that they would be the ones on Sasuke's team! It was almost fool proof, after all they were both the smartest in the class... in their own opinions. What was worse, they really couldn't begrudge Hinata for being on Sasuke's team. She was probably the only girl that wasn't a fangirl of Sasuke's. She probably didn't like any boy!

 Iruka continued, not even paying attention to the drama unfolding in front of him, “Next Team 8: Haruno Sakura... Inuzuka Kiba... and Aburame Shino,” Sakura paled at the thought of being on a team with the rowdy dog boy and the creepy bug boy. Still that wasn't as bad as being on the team with Naruto! At least she lucked out on that. Sensei just continued ripping apart dreams and making some of them come true, “Now Team 10: Yamanaka Ino... Nara Shikamaru... and Akimichi Chouji.” Ino nearly fainted. She was on a team with the laziest genin in the class and the fattest?! How did she end up with such weirdos?!

 Before Iruka could continue, Naruto stood up with an air of indignity, “Iruka-sensei! Why does someone as powerful as me have to be on a team with a slug like Sasuke?!” Sakura glared at him, fire burning in her green eyes, but Iruka spoke before Naruto Beat-down Two could commence.

 “Because Sasuke has the highest scores in all the graduating students. Naruto... you had the worst scores,” Iruka said with no mercy towards his surrogate little brother. The whole class, mostly Sasuke fangirls and a few Naruto-haters, laughed loudly at the blonde. “To be a balanced team,” Iruka continued over the laughing kids, cutting their mirth off quickly, “we put the best student with the worst student.”

 Naruto growled while Sasuke looked coolly out the window. Mikoto might kill him later, but Sasuke couldn't help but say, “Just make sure you don't get in my way, loser.” Oh yeah, Kaa-chan was definitely going to murder Sasuke. She couldn't stand her children saying anything mean about Naruto. Though... Mikoto never gave a reason why.

 “Hey what did you say?!”

 “Hard of hearing?” Sasuke retorted, slightly amused and the whole class burst out laughing again. Sakura tried to come to Sasuke's defense, but Iruka-sensei cleared his throat and ended all mischief.

 As the laughter slowly dwindled down, Iruka informed the new genin, “After lunch, you'll meet your new jounin teachers. Until then, class dismiss-”

 Wham!

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 Everyone whirled around when I slammed the classroom door open. Even Iruka, who should have been able to sense my chakra signatures, looked surprised. I still had a few minutes before my life officially became a living hell, maybe I should pull a classic Obito and screw with the minds of the impressionable brats, which included Iruka even though he was older than me. Without hesitation I started making jounin level hand signals telling the members of Team 7 to meet me on the roof.

 No one moved. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

 “Uh... Uchiha-san... may I help you?” Iruka said hesitantly. He didn't seem to know who I was, otherwise he'd be a lot more fearful to have one of the two hot headed Uchiha in his classroom. Still he knew enough to know that having an Uchiha in the room was enough to exercise caution. Being genin teammates with Shisui must have taught him that. Even an Uchiha as goofy as Shisui could still be unpredictable. I almost grinned, but didn't to keep my emotionless expression in check.

 I rolled my eyes instead, “Honestly, are you all so stupid that you don't know a single jounin hand sign?” I asked, the contempt in my voice wasn't forced.

 The Kyuubi brat took offense to that of course, “Hey! I'm not an idiot, I'm going to be Hokage someday, ya know!” I nearly laughed at that and mentally added yet another name to the list of Hokage wannabes. First Minato-san, though I didn't mind Nii-san's sensei being Hokage, then Obito, for a while Shisui had the dream too–before the drama of the failed Uchiha coup d'état–and now the Kyuubi brat.

 Iruka was sweatdropping, “Er, Uchiha-san, they're only genin. They shouldn't have to-” He tried to explain.

 My eyes cut to the chunnin and he stopped talking, “I knew half the sign book by the time I graduated, and I became a genin at the age of nine. That's no excuse.” So I was bragging, so what? After growing up with a braggart crybaby for a brother, I was surprised I wasn't bragging more often then I actually did, which was still rare. Of course, my knowledge of hand signs probably came from a certain emotionally stunted silver haired ninja robot; but I wasn't going to tell anyone that.

 Iruka tried to speak up, but he was silenced each time I pointed out why this graduating class was lesser than most classes in the past. It was almost scary how wimpy these kids were compared to past genin. Iruka was looking more and more flustered while the brats shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

 Waving a hand, I dismissed the argument, “Whatever. Team 7 is to report to the roof, now. You're training begins.”

 The three genin soon to be under my thumb paled, “B-but... what about lunch?” Naruto asked, tears starting to prick his bright blue eyes. My eyebrows pinched together in a frown, why did I get the feeling that food and this kid was going to be a major problem?

 “I'm your jounin sensei. What I say goes... and I say get your asses up to the roof now or suffer.” I started to turn away, but not before I noticed that the three Uchiha genin in the room were slumping down in their seats, as if ashamed to be associated with me.

 Disrespect towards a hungover hot tempered Uchiha meant someone had a death wish.

 “SIT UP STRAIGHT YOU UCHIHA HEATHENS! WHAT, WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN?!” I roared and got the extreme satisfaction of not only seeing the three dark haired kids pop back up, but everyone, including Iruka, stiffen at the command. “Now Team 7, you've got thirty seconds to get your worthless asses on the roof or I fail the lot of you.” I said more calmly, probably mentally scaring a lot of the brats. I wondered if Iruka was going to look into getting me committed to a jounin sanity test.

 As I shunshined out of the room and onto the roof, I smirked. If I was going to make this any more bearable, a few more required sanity test shouldn't be too much of a consequence.

 “Twenty-eight seconds, you're cutting it close.” I said mildly when the door to the academy roof burst open and my three precious little genin came tumbling out. For having ran up four flights of stairs in 28 seconds, I was slightly impressed that none of them were winded. But then Sasuke and the Hyuuga were clan kids and were already conditioned for harsher training exercises, and Naruto had run from many shinobi in the past during his pranks it was no surprise that he had stamina as well.

 I wordlessly motioned for them to take a seat, and spoke as they were flopping down on the ground, well Naruto flopped the other two sat down more gracefully. “Alright, since we're stuck together, tell me a little about yourselves. Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams... crap like that.” I said dismissively, not even bothering to look at the three brats.

 The Hyuuga heiress raised her hand timidly. I raised an eyebrow at her juvenile behavior and rolled my eyes, making her blush even more than she already was. Exasperated I called on her and the shy Hyuuga stuttered out, “W-wi-will you g-g-go first s-s-s-sen-sensei?” I narrowed my eyes a fraction, first thing I was training her in was speech.

 “Fine. My name is Uchiha Yanagi, and yes I am related to Sasuke. I'm his cousin, as much as I don't want to be,” I added when I saw Naruto's confused face. “I like my Police Force patrol, which I was forced to retire from. I dislike stuttering timid kids,” Hinata's face lit up like a thermometer, “overly annoying blondes,” Naruto was too dumb to get the reverence towards him. I really shouldn't be that surprised, “younger family members... just kids in general.” Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed into an almost glare. I was tempted to return it with a full Uchiha Glare, but I didn't want to give him a heart attack.

 His family would kill me.

 “I also don't like my older brother or Uchiha Shisui, the clan in general, being a jounin sensei... and many other things. My hobbies... I have an indefinite amount of hobbies and none are your business. My dream is to get out of this hell that my clan leader forced me in and get back to my patrol.” Sasuke looked like he wanted to question me about my dislike for the clan, but I was already pointing at Hinata, “Stuttering kid, go.”

 Of course she turned an unhealthy shade of red. I was beginning to wonder if there was any blood left in her body or if it was all showing in her face. “M-m-my name is Hy-Hyuuga H-H-Hinata. I like... m-my f-fa-family a-and...” she got even brighter, “cinnamon rolls!” She finished in a squeaky tone. I raised an eyebrow at that, obviously she had been about to say something else. “I-I-I... don't real-really d-dis-dislike a-a-any-anything. My ho-hob-hobby i-i-is p-pres-pressing fl-flowers. And m-my d-d-d-dream is t-t-t-to-to be a g-gre-great n-nin-ninja!” I was almost tempted to make a fake snoring sound. How boring can a brat get?

 I was definitely signing her up for a speech therapist first thing in the morning. Even if she was a Hyuuga, this girl was my only semblance to sanity. Or she would be if I could cure her of that nasty stutter. I pressed my left fingers to my forehead as I pointed to the Kyuubi brat with my right hand, “Go.”

 “ALRIGHT!” The blonde haired idiots said and started moving his headband up and down like a weirdo, “I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like instant ramen in a cup, and I really like the ramen Iruka-sensei gave me. But I hate the three minutes I have to wait for the ramen to cook. My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them. And my future dream is... to be the greatest Hokage! That way everyone will start respecting me!”

 I couldn't help it, I facepalmed. This kid blabbed about nothing but ramen and then suddenly drops a bomb like wanting to be the next Hokage?! And I thought Obito was bad. I made a mental note to never introduce the two if I could help it. They would drive me over the edge if they started talking. Sighing, I waved a hand towards my relative, “Go, Uchiha brat.”

 Sasuke was sitting in his cool pose, where he got it from I would never know. Itachi and Shisui weren’t the ones to teach him, I knew that much! He glared at the name I gave him, “My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't particularly like or dislike anything.” I bet any fangirls hanging around the area were sobbing by now. A small joy to me. “My hobbies include walking and training with my Aniki. I don't have a dream, because I will make it into a reality. I'm going to become strong enough to beat my brother and be the strongest Uchiha in the clan.” Sasuke's eyes staring at me in an open challenge.

 I laughed out right and nearly fell off the railing, “Oh that's rich! Someone is delusional!” I shrieked. All three poor little genin looked confused, with just a smidgen of indignity on Sasuke's part. “Sorry, idiot, but I don't think your dream will become a 'reality.'”

 My younger cousin frowned, “How so?” He growled. Apparently someone didn't like being teased.

 Leaning forward I crossed my arms over my chest, “Simply because Itachi-san isn't the strongest Uchiha in the clan.” Boy I wish I had a camera to snap a picture of Sasuke's expression. I could totally use it as more blackmail.

 “T-t-then w-w-who is?” Hinata asked for Sasuke, since he was still shell shocked that his Nii-san wasn't the strongest in our clan, as he clearly believed. I wondered if Itachi was the one who put the idea in his head, or if it was simply idol worship.

 “Shisui.”

 Sasuke actually sputtered, “What?! You're telling me that goofball is the strongest?” The poor boy asked incredulous. I laughed again, even though Sasuke practically grew up around some atypical Uchiha like my brother and Shisui, he was still a typical arrogant ass. So it was ten times more funny when his facade cracked.

 I sneered at the still disbelieving boy, “Believe it or not, yes. Itachi is better in skill, true, but Shisui has something going for him that no other living person has.” I said in a mysterious tone. All three genin leaned in, obviously wanting to know the secret. Even Hinata was looking eager about it. I smirked and shook my head, “Nuh-uh. That's a secret that only people with the Uchiha Kekke Genkai can know.”

 Naruto looked confused, “What's a Kekke Genkai?” He mumbled under his breath.

 I was going to give him a sarcastic answer, but Sasuke ignored the question to say, “I will have the Kekke Genkai one day, so you can tell me.”

 I held up a finger, “Ah-ah-ah... Let me correct that previous statement: Only people who have activated the Kekke Genkai and can use it effectively in battle can know the secret.” Sasuke pouted but didn't push the subject. At least he knew the requirements to unlock his Sharingan, otherwise I have no doubt he would be standing up and shouting that he would unlock the Sharingan no matter what, just to learn the secret behind Shisui's reputation.

 Oh wait... that's Naruto shtick.

 Speaking of the Kyuubi brat, he was standing and shouting, “What is a Kekke Genkai?! And how can I get one?”

 I scoffed, “Idiot, a Kekke Genkai is something you're born with. It's a bloodline trait that you can only get from your family, a tool to help you fight as a ninja basically.” I said, dumbing it down so that a two year old, or Naruto in this case, could understand. Before any of the brats could say anything else, I pushed off the rail, “Okay. We have our first mission tomorrow, be at training ground six at five a.m. and bring your ninja gear. Bye, brats.” Before any of them could respond, I shunshined away, ignoring Naruto's shouts to come back and explain myself.

 He should really learn that Uchiha never explain themselves, especially since he had Sasuke and me on the team.

  Chapter 4: The Test

“YANAGIIIIIIIIIII!!!” Obito screeched. I sighed irritatedly and looked up from my book just as my brother came barreling through my bedroom door, a bath towel wrapped around his waist and sopping wet.

 I sighed again, this time in exasperation, and threw my left arm over my eyes, pointing towards my personal bathroom with my right hand, “Underneath the counter.” I said dully. It was pretty bad that this was a common occurrence in our house. Both Obito and I had come to an agreement that each of us were in charge of our own expenses and that the only time we pooled our money together on was if it influenced both of us. That being said, my brother had a nasty habit of forgetting to buy more shampoo.

 Nii-san had just better thank his lucky stars that I didn't like girly scented hair products.

 Still I got a nice deal out of it. Every time Obito forgot about shampoo, he bought me a bag of candy. One thing the both of us had in common was our unnatural sweet tooth. Most of the Uchiha clan had a sweet tooth as well, but no where near as bad as mine and Obito's. Candy was a part of my brother's and my necessities whereas it was only a treat to the rest of the clan.

 While my brother cursed and rummaged around in my bathroom I called out, “I'm leaving early in the morning.”

 Nii-san's voice was suddenly clearer, meaning he probably had come back into my room, “Why? You're not going on a date are you?”

 If my eyes were open I would have rolled them. Only my brother would automatically assume that I was going on a date. I bet he wondered if I was going on a date every time I stepped outside the house. “No. I have to teach teamwork to my group of genin brats. You know how that is.”

 “You failed your test if I remember.” Obito teased. It was true, I had gotten so irritated with the dead last of my graduating class, who had been on my team, that I actually punched his lights out even though our sensei told us not to attack each other. I was sent back to the academy immediately and had to wait another year. Really it was the idiot's fault, he shouldn't have assumed that since I was eight and he was twelve that he knew more than me. Because of that jerk, I had to graduate at the age of nine.

 “And you are probably the only one who passed with flying colors. It's rare not to fail the first time you know...” I growled back at Obito.

 The one eyed Uchiha snorted, “You're just hoping that those kids fail, aren't you?”

 “Would you go finish your shower?”

 “You're just proving my point by changing the subject~!” Obito ran out of my room, his footsteps fast and light, before I could even cock my elbow back to launch my book at him. Damn it, I hated it when he had the sense to get the hell out of dodge!

 I sighed and marked my place before setting the book down on my nightstand. I would have to get up early tomorrow morning so I could train a few brats, which meant my late night habits were probably gone for good. Pouting slightly I turned off my lamp and rolled over, pulling my covers up to my chin.

 Just as I was beginning to drift off, I heard a crash followed immediately by, “DAMN IT! YANAGI GET IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS MESS UP!”

 I glared at the wall my bed was pushed up against. I seemed to forget that my night owl tendencies weren't of my own making. My brother, curse him, forced me into the habit. I threw back the covers and yelled back, “Alright you big crybaby! If you weren't so incompetent, I'd make you do it yourself!”

 I'm sure the rest of the Uchiha clan could hear us yelling at each other all night long.

 vvv

 The moment five a.m. hit, my three precious genin showed up. Hinata and Naruto stumbling with weariness while Sasuke was wide awake and alert. Point for the Uchiha. I glanced at them, “You're on time.” I said mildly. Naruto grinned despite his exhaustion, he seemed pleased at the compliment. I bookmarked the book I was reading and stood from my place on the ground, tucking away the blue bound slim book. “Which means... you're late.”

 Cue the confusion on all three of the preteens' faces. It made my day.

 I held up a finger, “First rule of ninja: Timing is everything. When out on the field, an enemy might set a trap for you. If you were to arrive before he does, then you have the advantage. Same goes for tardiness, being late will lower your enemy's caution and thus give you an opening.” I could not believe I was lecturing these brats, that was the Hokage's job! I glared down at the genin in front of me, letting a little killer intent slip through so they were frightened enough, “But if you ever alive late while in my team I'll skin you alive! Understood?”

 “H-hai, sensei!” All three of the brats stuttered out, balking under my gaze. I felt proud that even someone like Sasuke was effected. But then, I had heard that he was more of a softie than his brother.

 Straightening I smiled, no doubt scaring them out of their wits with my sudden change in mood, perfect. “Okay, then we'll start the mission.”

 Naruto dropped his scared expression like a hot tin plate and immediately leapt forward, “What's the mission? What's the mission? What? What? What?” He was actually bouncing around in his excitement. When he got too close to me I pressed my fingers to his forehead like Obito did to me and sent him to the ground.

 “You're going on a treasure hunt.”

 “Really?! That is so cool! Is it some long lost diamond? Or a cursed ruby? Oh! Did a princess lose her crown and we're having to look for it?!” Did this kid never shut up? I made a mental note to grab Obito's numbing salve. Maybe it would numb the Kyuubi brat's mouth enough that he couldn't talk.

 I poked him in the forehead again, “No... you don't get to know what the object is, that's the point of the exercise. Here are some clues you can use to figure the object out.” I passed out plain white envelopes to the three genin. Before they could rip into them and start the 'mission' I continued, “you must find the object by noon or you get no lunch. Also, the last person to find the object will fail and goes back to the academy.”

 More confusion, and some despair from Naruto about the time limit, “W-w-w-what do y-y-yo-you m-me-mean, s-s-s-sen-sensei?” Hinata stuttered out.

 Naruto was squinting his eyes up again, “Yeah? What's this about failing?! We're already genin, you can't send us back to the Academy!” He moved his Haiti-ate to reflect the rising sun to prove his point.

 I gave him a cruel smile, “Oh can't I? Let me explain then. Of the twenty-seven graduates, only nine will be accepted as genin. The other eighteen will not make the cut and be sent back to the academy. Your chance at staying genin is at least thirty-four percent, and it's all up to me.” Of all their reactions, Naruto's was the best. His eyes bugged out in surprise and his mouth dropped to the ground. Hinata just started swaying where she sat, as if she were about to faint, and Sasuke glared at me.

 Sasuke was the smart one and asked, “Alright, how do we convince you to let us stay genin?”

 “By passing this little mission I'm telling you about. Now stop interrupting or I'll fail you anyway.” I couldn't really do that, but the genin didn't know that. Until they actually passed my test, if they did, I was going to milk the threat of sending them back to the academy for all its worth.

 I waited for a moment to see if they would say anything, and when they didn't I continued, “You can fight each other for the clues, since all three are needed to figure out just what the item is. Also, once you figure out the object, you need to find it next and present it to me. And I'll be nice since you are just kids,” They relaxed slightly, or more than slightly in Naruto's case, “if you best me in battle, I'll tell you what and where the object is,” Cue the tensing back up again. “Remember: you have to figure out the clues and find the object all before noon or I will tie you to something and eat lunch in front of you. Ready... begin!”

 As I predicted the blonde idiot came charging after me, his fist raised with a pathetic battle cry. I rolled my eyes and kicked him away easily, sending him crashing into a tree. Hinata and Sasuke had already leapt out of sight, probably to figure out the clues on their own. I knew that Sasuke was too stubborn to figure out the object of the test, he would want to find the object with only the one clue I had given him just to prove himself. Hinata... she was a wild card. The Hyuuga heiress could either figure out the point of this exercise or she could be like Sasuke and try to accomplish things on her own.

 Naruto however... I had thrown in the option to attack me solely for his benefit. I knew the knucklehead would attack me, his overconfidence would get in his way. Besides I had entertainment while I waited for lunch.

 vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv

 When he was far enough away from Yanagi-sensei, Sasuke halted and pulled the envelope out of his shorts' pocket. He frowned down at the slip of paper.

 Tis erhe, uoy othrebhos-me diiot. Htis odec si oto arhd rfo yuo.

 The message was just a bunch of scrabbled letters. Clearly Yanagi-sensei knew that Sasuke would be able to decode the message, it was a simple scramble code that any three year old could figure out. Quickly the midnight blue haired Uchiha set to work. The hyphen in the fourth word threw him for a moment, until he realized Yanagi had probably put it in there for that purpose. What the message actually said made Sasuke pissed.

 Sit here, you botherso-me idiot. This code is too hard for you.

 What kind of clue was that?!

 vvv 3rd Person~ Hinata vvv

 When Yanagi-sensei said begin, Hinata immediately dove for cover in the underbrush of the forest surrounding the training ground. She watched in fascination as Naruto-kun lashed out at their sensei bravely, and then in horror when Yanagi-sensei kicked the blonde boy away with ease. Hinata had contemplated in helping Naruto, but she was too weak to stand up to a jounin, especially one who was so cruel.

 Instead the timid little Hyuuga heiress pulled out her clue and read over it.

 Tall and straight like a tree am I, but no leaves or fruit I bear.

 Hinata blinked. It was a riddle, and a hard one by the looks of it. Hinata's clue could mean anything! Anything that was tall and not a tree, that is. Maybe if she got the other clues it would help, but she didn't want to attack her teammates! Hinata wouldn't last a second against Sasuke, and she wasn't going to attack Naruto for no reason.

 The pale eyed girl glanced back at her sensei as the Uchiha woman once again threw Naruto over her shoulder and laughed as he struggled to his feet. There was something missing, something that Yanagi had said. 'The last person to find the object is failed and goes back to the academy.' Hinata frowned. If that were true, it would be better for all three of them could find the object together so no one was first or last.

 Hinata gasped as realization dawned on her, that was what Yanagi wanted! Sensei was pitting the team against each other purposefully to see if anyone could figure out that the point was teamwork! That was why Team 7 was allowed to attack each other, to push the thoughts of teamwork further away. Yanagi had said that they would need all three clues to figure out the object they were trying to find, it was the only hint that Yanagi-sensei had given them.

 Now if Hinata could only work up her courage to tell her findings to the two boys in her team. The Hyuuga girl whimpered a little at the thought. They could try and attack her before she even had a chance to explain.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 I smiled when I heard Hinata gasp. So she must have figured it out. My respect meter inched up a few pegs for the girl. She didn't have any male ego or pride to get in her way of thoughts. Still, what she would do now, that was the question.

 “YAAAAAAAAA!! Don't get distracted, sensei!” Naruto yelled multiple times from his shadow clone jutsu. I rolled my eyes and made a few quick hand signs with precision. I took a deep breath then blew between my thumb and forefinger. With a roar, the great fireball jutsu took out all shadow clones in front of it.

 I felt something hard connect with my back and I stumbled forward with a grunt, losing my concentration on the fireball. Cursing I started to turn my head to look over my shoulder at the little brat. He caught me off guard! Not even Obito in his pranking moods could accomplish that feat. Angry, I reached up and pulled the Kyuubi brat off of my back and flung him across the clearing.

 Naruto somehow was joyful in spite of being thrown a great distance, “Ha! I got a hit! Now tell me what the object is and where it is!”

 “No.”

 “WHAAAAT?! You said you would if I won!” Naruto shrieked.

 I glared at him, “I said if you beat me in battle. You only landed a hit,” I slowly started walking towards him. It stung my pride, both as an Uchiha and jounin, that some little blonde haired brat was able to land a hit on me. I wasn't really known for taking blows and turning the other cheek. Towering over the little genin I spoke, my tone, which had been amused until now, had a sharp cutting edge to it, “you rush in blindly and attack without strategy. That blow was a lucky shot, and it won't happen again.”

 Turning away from the kid I waved a hand, “Now, stop wasting my time and try to figure out that clue of yours.” I shunshined away before Naruto could attack, as I knew he probably would.

 vvv 3rd Person~ Naruto vvv

 Damn that frizzy haired lady! Naruto pouted and crossed his arms, it wasn't fair! He should have won, but his sensei was too stubborn to admit her defeat at his hands. Naruto could tell by the look on her face that the blow had taken her by surprise. If she hadn't reacted as quickly as she did, Frizzy-sensei would be on the ground!

 Naruto yanked out the clue from his jumpsuit and ripped the envelope open. Maybe the clue was super easy and he could guess it immediately. The look on Yanagi-sensei's face would be hilarious when Naruto showed up with the object before lunch. Naruto chuckled to himself as he imagined the expression of complete surprise and awe.

 My eyes glow red when I am mad or threatened.

 …What?! What did that mean? Was this some kind of insane creepy riddle that he had to figure out?! Was the object a vampire or something? Naruto had heard that some vampire's eyes glowed red when they drank blood. Naruto began to panic a little, he didn't want to fight a vampire! He had hard enough time beating Yanagi-sensei.

 RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!

 Naruto was torn between feeling relief and despair that the alarm had gone off. Now he wouldn't have to face the vampire, but–his stomach growled and Naruto groaned, remembering that Yanagi said no lunch for the person who hadn't found the vampire.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 “The three of you are a... Bunch. Of. Idiots!” I shouted when all three genin lined up at the starting point. I was crying on the inside at the stupidity of the team I had been saddled with. Why was the only one to figure out the mission the shyest? I hadn't even done the bell test, which was probably the hardest teamwork exercise, like Kakashi-san usually did. In fact, I had given Team 7 the easiest and they still failed!

 Hinata was the only one looking abash. Naruto looked miserable, probably had something to do with the sounds his stomach was making, and Sasuke glared at me hotly. If I wasn't in such a foul mood I would have asked if he liked my clue to him.

 I paced in front of them, “I practically told you this treasure hunt was a teamwork exercise, but you all are too stupid to see that!” I spun to face the team and zeroed in on Sasuke's petulant face, “Sasuke, you were too busy trying to succeed with your one clue you seemed to forget that you needed all three of the clues to find the object.”

 Naruto got over his starving state to laugh at the slightly pouting Sasuke, “Ha ha! Teme you're so stupid!”

 I glared at the blond, “You, Naruto, are probably the stupidest of the three.” I snapped.

 “Hey!”

 “You were too busy trying to fight me to even pay attention to your clue. Had I not practically ordered you to, I doubt you would have even looked at it! I am a jounin, you dumbass, I cannot be taken down so easily by a genin. You're actions were lazy and stupid.” I growled menacingly. Naruto had the smarts not to say anything. I glared at the team as a whole again, “Hinata was the only one to figure out that this exercise was teamwork driven, but she was too much of a coward to tell you two idiots!”

 Naruto leapt to his feet, “Hey! Don't call Hinata a coward! She's just shy.” The blonde defended. I noticed that Hinata's blush turned darker almost immediately. I spared her a curious glance despite my anger, such a strange child she was. Not only was Hinata extremely shy and weak for a clan kid, but she also seemed to have a major crush on Naruto of all people.

 Still, I was glad I didn't have a squealing Sasuke fangirl on my hands.

 While distracted with my thoughts, Sasuke stood up to, “You should not pick on the shyest of the team simply because she poses no resistance to you.” He said, rather calmly, but I could tell by the way his dark eyes glittered that my little cousin was about as pissed as Naruto. Hinata looked between her two teammates, seemingly surprised that she was being defended by the both of them.

 I raised a cool eyebrow, “Oh? Then what should I do, let her grow up as a shy coward perhaps?” I asked mildly.

 Sasuke gave me a rather impressive version of the infamous Uchiha Glare, “If anyone is the coward it's you. You spend your time picking on twelve year olds.”

 “Well I can't really yell at your father or the Hokage, Duckass, so deal with it.” I said dully. The three genin looked a little confused since they didn't know why exactly I was forced into this. Nor would they ever unless the case called for it. The near disaster that almost ended in the massacre of the Uchiha clan had been classified as an S-level secret, along with Naruto's jinchuuriki status. None of the younger generation, not even those of the Uchiha clan, knew about our planned revolt or that Itachi and Shisui stopped it. They didn't know that this whole team was an experiment to see if an Uchiha could effectively teach Konoha genin.

 “Whatever. You still are all idiots for not figuring out that teamwork is important or doing nothing about it.” I said, waving a hand to dismiss the subject. I really didn't need to go into that, or I'd be killed for spilling the beans.

 Naruto titled his head, “Why is teamwork important? Wouldn't people just hold you back?”

 I couldn't help but reach over and swat the brat upside the head. After listening to his protests for half a second, I did the same thing to shut him up and spoke before he could start yelling at me in renewal, “Teamwork is essential to everything. They don't hold you back, a team is family. Had you got together and shared the clues, you would have easily figured out the object.”

 “W-w-w-w-w-w-wha-what i-is-is the o-o-o-obj-obj-ect?” Oh great, yelling at Hinata seemed to make her stutter more. Just my luck.

 I smiled for the first time since the timer went off. “I'm the object.” Cue the three stunned faces.

 My little cousin frowned, “How does my clue point towards you? You just insulted me.” I was surprised that Naruto hadn't laughed, but one look at the blonde genin revealed that he was paling at a rabid pace. Soon the Kyuubi brat would be as pale as Sasuke and Hinata.

 “ 'Sit here, you bothersome idiot. This code is too hard for you.' That is the clue, correct?” I asked. Sasuke nodded, suspicion leaking into his eyes. I gave him a close eyed grin, “Did you happen to notice that 'bothersome' had a hyphen?” Another nod of confirmation. “I told you the code was too hard, and I was right.”

 “There was no code.” Sasuke said stubbornly.

 Shaking my head I held up a finger, “Technically there was, but I knew that–as an Uchiha–you would over think things. If you had simply looked at where the hyphen was placed you would notice that 'me' had been separated from 'bothersome'. Really, the answer if quite obviously stupid when you think about it.”

 Sasuke actually facepalmed and I genuinely laughed when he did so.

 I turned my attention back on the team as an whole and held up one finger, “I already explained Sasuke's clue. It was the most obvious, too obvious to tell the truth.” I held up a second finger, “Hinata's clue was a little more difficult. 'Tall and straight like a tree am I, but no leaves or fruit I bear.' I am extremely tall for a woman. Naruto's clue-”

 “Are you a vampire?!” Naruto chose then to shout, his eyes wide as he pointed an accusing finger at me. I blinked at him as did Sasuke and even Hinata.

 “...What?”

 “You're a vampire, aren't you! Are you going to drink out blood?!”

 “And where did you get that silly notion?”

 “The clue!”

 “What?!” I stared at the blonde kid. Granted his clue was a little creepy but still, how did he get vampire out of glowing red eyes?

 Naruto seemed to suddenly notice the looks his teammates were giving him. A blush marred his cheeks lightly and he ducked his head, “The uh... the clue. It said that your eyes glow red...” He mumbled.

 The younger Uchiha actually took pity on Naruto, “That's the Uchiha Kekke Genkai. Our eyes turn red sometimes to help in battle.” Sasuke explained. I was glad he didn't go in depth. There had once been a time when the sharingan was a clan secret, but after so many years it just became common knowledge. Still, the Uchiha didn't like explaining their Kekke Genkai unless absolutely necessary, that way there was less people trying to steal it.

 “...oh...”

 I sighed and shook my head, “You need to stop watching whatever it is you watch...” I said sadly. Then I grinned, this one full of evil intent. The genin hunkered down, obviously knowing that we were about to return to the failed exercise, “now... we're going to try this again, but it won't be as easy as the treasure hunt.” I said and waited for one of the genin to ask what I was planning for them to do.

 Finally Sasuke was the one who dared to ask, “What is it?”

 My grin grew wider, “You're going to prank my brother, Uchiha Obito.”

 I was very pleased the way Sasuke's skin turned a unhealthy pale color. If I thought he was pasty before, it was nothing compared to this. I was nearly shivering in excitement. Maybe having a genin team was fun after all, if I could get away with pranking the Uchiha Prankster.

  Chapter 5: Why Never to Prank Obito

“Who put you in charge, Teme?” Naruto whined the minute Sasuke tried to start planning their prank on his cousin.

 Sasuke glared at the blonde, “Obito is my cousin, I know his reputation.” The Uchiha boy said simply.

 “Ha! But I'm a prankster, so I should know what to do!”

 “You have no idea what Obito is capable of.”

 “So what?! Doesn't make you the leader!”

 I sighed exasperated and pinched the bridge of my nose. I should have known that the two boys were going to develop some kind of rivalry. Every team did it, even myself and one of my genin teammates had one. Although it was my teammate who was under the delusion that we had a rivalry, I had no interest in being a rival to anyone– especially not a civilian brat. I simply played along for the entertainment of watching the guy fail time and time again.

 If I remember correctly he retired from his shinobi career after losing the Chuunin Exams to me.

 As my two students continued to argue who should be the leader, I glanced down at the fidgeting Hyuuga heiress standing beside me, almost behind me. I guess it was time for some 'sensei-student' bonding time. “Hinata.” The girl looked up at me, her pale eyes wide with obvious fright. Mentally I sighed, maybe calling her a coward earlier was a bit much.

 “Y-y-yes, sensei?” She managed to stutter out, pressing her two forefingers together in a nervous habit.

 I swatted her hands down, “Stop that. First rule of being a kunoichi: don't show nervousness.” Hinata gripped her hands together behind her back, like a small child being scolded and nodded in a jerking manner, “Second, I'm putting you on teamwork duty. While the three of you are out pranking my brother, you're going to keep the boys from killing each other. Consider it your first lesson in asserting yourself.”

 Hinata paled and she looked down at her feet. I could see that she was gripping her hands tightly, as if she were trying to talk her courage up. I sighed and tapped the bottom of her chin, bringing her gaze to meet mine.

 “You will get over this nervous habit of yours, Hyuuga. Shy little kids don't make it in this career.” I said sternly. Hinata nodded quickly and I rolled my eyes. I was starting to wonder if she was only nodding so I would stop talking to her. “You can start by breaking those two up now.” I said and pointed at Sasuke and Naruto as they got in each other face.

 Hesitatingly Hinata shuffled towards the two fighting boys. I watched her closely as she neared Naruto and Sasuke, analyzing her ever move. “E-excuse me...” She said in a whisper. Of course the boys didn't hear her over their own loud voices.

 I groaned. Seems this was going to be harder than I thought. Putting my two index fingers to my mouth, I whistled loudly, making everyone in the vicinity cringe. My genin looked at me and I glared back, “Alright, pansies, if there's going to be that much of a fuss over team leader, I'll pick. Hinata is the leader,” Oh I would enjoy the looks of surprise from the three preteens for years to come. Still, before I could visualize those expressions again, I had to lay down ground rules, “She's also the person who's going to make sure you two don't fight. For this 'mission' to go successfully, you have to work together and be quiet! Any questions?” I didn't give them enough time to ask before I was continuing, “Good. Now when you're done, you can go home.”

 “How do you know if we pass or not?” Sasuke asked, a frown pulling his thin eyebrows low over his eyes.

 Grinning evilly, I tapped him on his Haiti-ate, “Trust me, I'll know. Good luck~! You're going to need it.”

 vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv

 The second Yanagi-sensei disappeared, Sasuke turned to his two teammates, “We need a plan of attack. Cousin Obito won't be an easy target.” He said. There was no way Sasuke would be able to retain his cool if he didn't think of this stupid childish test as an actual mission.

 Naruto glared at him, “Hey! Hinata is the leader! Stop trying to usurp her command!” Hinata blushed and looked away quickly, her whole face red. Sasuke rolled his eyes, it took him by surprise that the dobe hadn't caught on to Hinata's affections by now.

 “I'm surprise you even know what 'usurp' means.” Sasuke commented drily. Naruto pulled a hateful face, the corner of his mouth twitching in frustration.

 “G-guys! Please d-don-don't fight!” Hinata interrupted before Naruto could respond. Both boys looked away with equal sour looks. There were a few minutes of silence before Hinata spoke again, “S-S-Sas-Sasuke-san. W-what w-w-w-were you say-saying?”

 The Uchiha glanced at his female teammate, it wasn't often that any girl added the honorific -san to his name, most of the time it was -kun. Sasuke liked the change. Ignoring Naruto's pout, Sasuke explained his plan on pranking his older cousin.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 “Yeah, so since I couldn't do the same test twice, I made them work on something completely different.” I said to Kakashi as we both sat in the shade of some random tree, boredly watching Asuma and his three new genin. We both had free time, since Kakashi already failed his team and mine were currently trying to impress me.

 Kakashi hummed as he read his favorite book of all time for the millionth time, “So what are they doing...?” He asked distractedly.

 “Pranking Obito.” I got a laugh when Kakashi nearly fell out of the tree branch he was lounging in. Quickly, too quickly for my liking, Kakashi managed to catch himself and prevent a blackmail worthy moment.

 “He's going to kill you.”

 “That's why I'm hanging out with you,” I said jokingly, “You love me too much to let my big bad brother murder me.”

 I only got a sigh from the Copy-nin. I knew what was going on in his mind. “You put up with me because I'm the only person in the universe who can get Obito to stop annoying you. Besides, I have years worth of blackmail on you.” I answered his unasked question.

 Kakashi gave me a dry look, “You're incorrigible.” He grumbled. I laughed at him. Of all people in Konoha, Kakashi was probably the only one I truly got along with. One could say that I saw Kakashi as another brother, only I liked this one more than my blood brother. I liked to think that he saw me as a little sister.

 He teased me like one.

 The white haired jounin leaned closer to me and gave me his famous eye-smile, “And I have plenty blackmail over you too.” He said cheerfully.

 Glaring I crossed my arms, “Shut up.” I grumbled, not wanting to talk anymore. I felt a finger poke my cheek and I whipped around to snap at it, but like always Kakashi pulled back before I could dig my teeth in his finger.

 “Your crush on me was so cute! Of all my fangirls, you were probably my favorite.” Kakashi teased.

 My glare intensified until I was giving him a full Uchiha Glare. Having been a teammate with a hothead like my brother and being Kakashi in general, of course he was immune to it. Damn man. “That was only a brief time, it was a phase I went through you idiot. Hero worship!” I defended myself hotly.

 Kakashi leaned back, satisfied that he had riled me up, and took his book out again, “Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll actually believe it one day.”

 I crossed my arms and slouched against the tree trunk, “I'm going to sell your Icha Icha novels, jerk.”

 “I keep them in a safe.”

 “What? You're not still mad that I burned your last series, are you?”

 “...yes...”

 “You should have listened to Obito then. He tried to warn you.” I said dismissively, shrugging as if burning his books were inevitable. Which, considering my undying hatred for the perverted novels, it kind of was inevitable.

 “Like I'd ever trust anything Obito would say.” Kakashi growled, probably remembering one of the many instances where trusting the Uchiha Prankster got Kakashi into trouble. I grinned mentally, remembering a few memories myself. Poor Kakashi had to learn what all Uchiha knew the hard way.

 “I'm pretty sure that when it comes to Icha Icha, Obito means every word he says.” I said drily. There were two things Kakashi and Obito had in common: their habit of tardiness and their creepy obsession with the Icha Icha series.

 Kakashi snorted and crossed his arms, the closest thing he'd ever get to pouting, “He also likes to spoil the new books.”

 I held up my hands as if to defend myself and screwed my eyes up, “I don't want to know anything that goes on in those smutty books of yours! You and my brother can keep your perverseness to yourselves!” I snapped.

 My brother figure glanced at me, his single visible eye full of mischief. Well crap, I just dug myself into a hole. Kakashi opened his mouth, or at least I assumed by the way his face mask moved, to speak but someone beat him to it.

 “Are you two going to distract my team all day or what?”

 Kakashi and I looked down from our perches to see Asuma standing at the base of the tree giving us a rather stern look, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Behind him, his three genin were watching us curiously. If I remember correctly, the blonde girl was one of Sasuke's more adamant fangirls, but I wasn't for sure. Kakashi only dipped his head in greeting and buried his nose in his dirty orange book.

 “Sorry, Asuma” I said, but my tone wasn't apologetic. Asuma may be more powerful and older than me, but I was still an Uchiha. Arrogance was a hereditary trait that my clan was born with. I didn't respect anyone unless they absolutely deserved it. Kakashi, without looking up from his book, swatted me in the back of my head.

 I glared at him, but before I could say anything Asuma spoke again, “Could you take your argument somewhere else?” Even though the Sarutobi had asked it as a question, both Kakashi and I knew it was an order.

 Without saying a word, Kakashi stood and threw me over his shoulder like he used to when I was a kid. “Hey! Let me go, you scarecrow!” I shouted in indignity, but of course he ignored me.

 vvv 3rd Person vvv

 “Shisui have you seen Yanagi?” An irritated voice asked. Both Itachi and Shisui turned around to face Obito. To their complete surprise he was covered head to toe in honey; stray coils of ninja wire still wrapped around random places of his body.

 Shisui blinked, “Uh... Obito-senpai? What happened to you?” The Uchiha with long eyelashes asked, shocked to see his former Konoha Police mentor so... gooey.

 Obito was too busy glaring past the two men at the third in their company, who was trying to act as casual as he could. Itachi and Shisui followed the older Uchiha's gaze to Sasuke. Itachi frowned a little, obviously making the connection between Obito's honeyed state and his little brother's poorly accomplished innocent expression. “Sasuke, did you do this?” The Uchiha Prodigy asked in a passive voice.

 Sasuke, who could never lie when around his brother, looked down guiltily. Everyone could practically feel Obito's killer intent spike. Itachi dropped his stoic facade to glare at his cousin, not liking the potential threat to his little brother.

 Shisui on the other hand was staring at Sasuke with his head tilted. He really couldn't understand why Sasuke would do something like that, especially when it was uncalled for. As far as Shisui knew, Obito and Sasuke had never talked except in passing. And any Uchiha would have to be insane to actually prank the Uchiha Prankster.

 “Where. Is. Yanagi?” Obito growled at Sasuke. Itachi twitched, obviously wanted to step between Obito and his brother, but refrained. Neither would appreciate his interference. And Itachi really didn't want to suffer through another prank of Obito's.

 He was still finding feathers in his room from all those damn chickens.

 Sasuke stared defiantly up at Obito, obviously not scared of the goofiest Uchiha. Shisui had to admit that the kid had guts. Obito was one hot tempered Uchiha, only bested by his younger sister Yanagi. Hell, when Yanagi was on a rampage even Shisui stayed well out of her warpath. That woman had no respect for anyone, not her brother and guardian, not her clan leader... there were times when Shisui doubted that even the Hokage received Yanagi's respect.

 “Kakashi, put me down damn it!”

 Well speak of the devil.

 Shisui grinned as Obito spun in his gooey glory to glare at Yanagi thrown over Kakashi's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The young woman struggled even harder when she spied her brother, “You little traitor. I'm going to burn your whole house down now!”

 “Go right ahead, my books are in a fire proof safe.” Kakashi returned drily before dumping Yanagi on the ground right in front of her glaring brother. Yanagi crossed her arms and glared right back at him. Shisui smiled at the sight of the two siblings glaring, they were so different from Itachi and Sasuke.

 “I've got a perfectly good reason.” Yanagi said defensively before Obito could get a word in.

 “Oh I would love to hear this.” Her brother growled back.

 “My genin are idiots, but they're idiots who pass.”

 Itachi and Shisui exchanged slightly confused confused looks. They were both wondering the same thing, where in the world did Yanagi's genin team–Shisui didn't even know she had one–came into play with Sasuke pranking Obito?! Shisui caught Sasuke glaring hotly at Yanagi from behind Itachi and then it clicked.

 Shisui laughed, bringing all attention to him, “Was this your teamwork building exercise, Yagi?” He asked, highly amused. As he suspected, Yanagi immediately clammed up the moment she saw Shisui. He should have known that Yanagi would use the excuse of teaching her genin teamwork to prank her brother.

  Chapter 6 Shisui and D-ranks are Not Pleasant

“...”

 “...'Sup?”

 “...”

 “...”

 There was a quiet, slightly awkward, cough, “Do they do this a lot?” I heard Kurenai ask, her tone one of concern.

 My brother sighed beside me, “You have no idea...” He grumbled. Without looking I landed my elbow in his side, “OUCH! Yanagi, that hurts.” Obito yelled at me. Oh how I wanted to make a snappy comment; however a certain jerk sitting beside me, grinning devilishly, was preventing me from doing so. I settled for a dark look.

 Shisui's grin widened when I returned my glare to him, “Awww... I was hoping I'd catch you talking. I haven't heard your melodious voice in forever~” He teased. I just continued to glare at him. Shisui pouted and looked over my head at a now snickering Obito, “Obito-senpai, your imoto is being mean!”

 I went to punch Shisui, but Obito hooked a hand around my elbow, “No.” He said sternly. Obito always did like Shisui, so I was never allowed to hit him when my brother was around.

 I narrowed my eyes at the most skilled Uchiha, trying to tell him with my eyes how lucky he was that my brother was here to stop me from punching Shisui's lights out. Shisui seemed to get my message and ruffled my hair like when we were younger as he stood up, “See ya, Yagi!” The nickname set my teeth on edge and I would have hit him again, if Obito hadn't already guessed my intentions and wrapped an arm around my torso, keeping me in my seat. Shisui gave me another grin before bowing politely to the elite jounin sitting around the table, then he shunshined away like he was never there.

 Stickin' shunshin master...

 I crossed my arms, “Damn Uchiha... I hate him.” I growled when I couldn't feel his chakra anymore. Obito and Kakashi seemed to be the only ones amused by my silent treatment towards Shisui.

 “But I thought you said you didn't hate him, imoto.” Obito interjected.

 “I don't!”

 “You just said you did a minute ago.”

 “...”

 “What, are you giving me the silent treatment now?” Obito teased. I glared at him hotly, I hated older brothers; that I would readily admit to. Obito leaned closer, a grin similar to Shisui's on his face.

 My glare intensified as I leaned back, trying to put more personal space between us. My brother knew I hated people evading my personal space, and he used it to his advantage, “Outta my face or I'm going to steal your candy stash again.” I threatened. Like a spring, Obito was sitting straight again, sending me a dirty look. I grinned back at him, the tables had turned.

 Kurenai sighed, more used to Obito and my antics than my silent treatment towards Shisui, “Would you two stop?” She asked, her tone someone managing to stay between polite and exasperated. Only the Yuhi woman could accomplish such a tone.

 Kakashi scoffed from his corner of the booth, his eyes still on his smutty literature. At least Obito knew when to stop reading. “Getting those two to stop is like getting-”

 I butted in before he could finish, “Getting you to stop reading your porn?” I drawled. When Kakashi gave me a one eyed glare I grinned at him. Asuma and Kurenai tried to hide their chuckles while Obito didn't even bother. Kakashi slowly bookmarked his place and put the book away, still glaring at me.

 “I was going to say getting you to stop antagonizing your team.” Kakashi said in an irritated tone that he usually reserved for Obito when my brother was being particularly annoying.

 I scoffed, “They're a bunch of pansies, they get what they deserve.” It was a lame defense, but then again Fugaku hadn't really been thinking when he put me as Sasuke's sensei. It would be his fault if his youngest son was mentally scarred when I got through with him. “Besides,” I continued with my nose in the air, “the worst thing I have done was scare the shit out of that class when I yelled at those Uchiha brats.”

 Kurenai giggled, “Yes, I heard about that from Kiba. He said you reminded him of his mother.”

 “Shikamaru thinks you're very 'troublesome' too. Ino and Chouji looked a little shaken up about the whole thing.” Asuma added, “I can't imagine how your team feels having you as a sensei.”

 I glared at the Sarutobi, slightly insulted, “How they feel about me does not matter,” I paused for a moment then said with a sneer, “but... I'm pretty sure they're scared shitless. Especially the Hyuuga girl.”

 Obito sighed, “You're going to be the worst sensei ever...” He mumbled, rolled his eyes. No one said anything, but I could tell they agreed with him. Bunch of lackluster faithless jerks if you ask me.

 Pursing my lips I turned to Kakashi, “So, how bad did your almost team fail?” I asked, changing the subject.

 Kakashi gave me a look that told me he knew exactly what I was trying to do, but answered anyway, “Miserably, though I might take the Uchiha kid on as a personal student. He was the only one smart enough to figure it out.” Obito and I perked up at the mention of our clan name.

 “Uchiha? Who?” Obito questioned, leaning towards his best friend/rival.

 Kakashi shrugged, “Some kid named Netsui. He has a twin sister who was placed on another team.”

 My brother and I exchanged looks. We knew who Kakashi was talking about. Having twins in the clan was extremely rare, so Netsui and Nerai were considered something special. “Why didn't they place Nerai on your team, Kakashi-baka? Netsui and Nerai have a lot of combo attacks that could be useful.” Obito commented. Kakashi only shrugged again and I rolled my eyes, seeing that he was reading Icha Icha under the table. I was sorely tempted to 'accidentally' spill my drink on Kakashi and see if I could ruin his book.

 Before I could attempt anything, Anko suddenly appeared carrying a plate of dango, “Yo my bitches! What boring conversation are you- HEY!” Anko shouted when Obito and I simultaneously nabbed a dango stick from Anko's plate and stuffed them in our mouths before Anko could snatch them back. Everyone at the table sighed.

 The snake mistress glared at us, “You're lucky that I love you two, or you'd be dead... pigs.” She growled.

 Kurenai shook her head, “You should know better than to bring sweets around Obito and his sister.” She scolded lightly. Anko was still glaring at us as she grabbed her last dango stick and popped the first dumpling in her mouth. Kakashi was just giving the both of us dry looks that practically screamed, 'you nimrods'.

 What can I say, when it came to anything containing sugar, Obito and I were on it like white on rice.

 “Mm,” I waved my now empty dango stick around as I chewed on the last dumpling. Swallowing I continued, “did you know that Sasuke doesn't like sweets?” I commented. The look of absolute horror on Obito's face was priceless. Anko, who was almost as bad of a sugar junkie as Obito and I, looked almost as horrified. The rest of the jounin were too busy trying not to laugh at Obito's expression, myself included.

 “What Uchiha doesn't like sweets?!” Obito shouted, gaining a few looks from the patrons in the tea house where the six of us were relaxing.

 I shrugged at my Nii-san's question, “Apparently the second son to Fugaku. I tried to be nice and share my candy with him yesterday, but he said he didn't like sweets.” I got more surprised faces, but this time for a completely different reason.

 “You... offered to share candy with someone?” Anko asked. There was a brief pause before she slapped her hand to my forehead, “Nope, you ain't got a fever. Were you blackmailed into doing it then?” I glared and slapped her hand away.

 “Hey, I was trying to 'bond' with my students. With that hodgepodge of weirdos, I need to find some resemblance of sanity before I forget what it looks like.” I snapped sarcastically. I then turned to glare at Asuma and Kurenai, “How well does your students get along with each other?” I asked, though I already knew what they were going to say.

 The not-quite-yet-couple glanced at each other, probably silently communicating like the old married couple they should be. “Well...” Kurenai started hesitantly, “Kiba has some kind of one sided rivalry going on with Shino, but it's nothing too bad; and Sakura yells at Kiba a lot for being too... I think she said 'Naruto-like'.” I snorted at that one. This Kiba brat must be annoying indeed if he was compared to Naruto.

 Asuma shrugged when I turned to him, “Ino acts the same way as Sakura, she gets fed up with Shikamaru's lazy habits. She also tries to boss the boys around every so often, but Shikamaru and Chouji just go along with it. They're all very laid back.”

 “You lucky jerks.” I whined.

 Obito glared at me, “You're team seems to have good teamwork, stop complaining.” My brother growled. I laughed at him. No doubt he was remembering yesterday and the honey. I'd still be in the doghouse if I hadn't thought ahead and bought Obito two weeks worth of candy. In our house, candy equaled instant forgiveness, no matter how bad the crime was.

 “But they're still idiots. Hinata looks like she's going to faint half the time and Naruto is either trying to physically fight me or Sasuke. And Sasuke is trying to act cool and-” My eyes casually flicked up to the small clock hanging on the back wall of the tea shop. I stiffened when I realized the time. “Shit! My team has a mission!” I cursed and literally vaulted over my brother in my hurry to get away. The group of jounin laughed as I tore out of the tea house in a fury to beat my team to our meeting point.

 The last thing I needed was my team complaining about me being late.

 vvv

 “You're late.” Sasuke said dully when I came skidding to a halt five minutes before the time I had given my team. Luckily my cousin was the only one there. My biggest worry had been the loud mouth blonde. Naruto would never let me live it down if I had been late.

 I glared at the navy haired Uchiha as I tried to catch my breath, “Not a... word.” I panted.

 Sasuke smirked, “What will I get out of it?” He asked smugly. Damn it, he was catching on.

 “Name your price.” I said in all seriousness.

 My cousin's smirk grew wider, “I want to know why you won't talk to Shisui.” Damn it all, this brat was learning too quick! I was expecting him to name his favorite food and make me buy it like Obito usually did, not information.

 “HA! I'M EARLY, SO I'M NOT LATE!” Naruto shouted then as he came running up to us, saving me from a conversation I didn't want to have. By the looks of his disheveled state, it was clear that he would have been late if he hadn't hauled ass.

 I looked around as was surprised to see Hinata standing slightly behind the two boys. I raised an eyebrow, I hadn't even noticed her come up. There was no way of knowing if she was early or on time. Mentally I made a note to bump up Hinata to more advance stealth training before I pulled out the mission scroll, “Okay, first D-ranked mission of the day is... babysitting twins.”

 I don't know who groaned louder: me or Naruto.

 vvv

 Naruto and I came to the mutual agreement to ditch the brats with Hinata and Sasuke. I was already struggling not to kill myself by just dealing with three preteens, I didn't need two five year olds to add to the list. Naruto just didn't like small kids in general.

 Hinata, not surprisingly, took care of her brat quite well. The five year old seemed quite taken with the shy Hyuuga heiress. I was sorely tempted to make a comment about Hinata's future abilities at motherhood, but decided against it knowing she would just faint. Sasuke also fared okay. After a few tantrums, the brat quieted down knowing that Sasuke wasn't going to deal with any of his crap. As Hinata and Sasuke wondered around Konoha with their kids in tow, Naruto and I followed behind them talking aimlessly about our favorite foods. When I said I didn't like ramen, Naruto nearly had a heart attack, which was amusing to Sasuke and I. The twins looked confused as to why Naruto was on the ground twitching while Hinata was stuttering up a storm trying to talk to the comatose blonde.

 At noon we returned the twins to their parents and I dragged my team with me to clean Nekobaa's house. This time it was Hinata and Naruto that did all the work while Sasuke and I visited with the Uchiha weapons supplier. Nekobaa and I were mostly content in teasing Sasuke about his little paw challenge that Itachi-san had given him when they were younger. Sasuke didn't seem to mind all that much, though he did glare at me for quite a while. Naturally, being Uchiha, Sasuke and I were overrun by cats demanding for attention. Of course Naruto flubbed it up when, after seeing Sasuke and I casually petting the ever present cats, tried to pet one too.

 I probably should have told him that only members of the Uchiha clan were allowed to touch the cats.

 Needless to say, Naruto got his ass handed to him by a house cat. Hinata then did another swooning/stuttering episode as she tried to talk to the once again unconscious Naruto. Sasuke and I just enjoyed ourselves again.

 After the mission with Nekobaa, I took my team to help clean out an old abandoned building that was going to be torn down soon. Hinata and I sat this mission out as the boys used their 'muscles' to move old rotten crates and other decrepit treasures that were buried in the corners of the warehouse. I tried to cure Hinata of her stuttering problem in that time, but I only succeeded in lessening how much she stuttered by a few seconds before Naruto once again caused disaster.

 I tried to make the man who owned the building see the bright side: now he would have to pay the demolition teams anything, since Naruto flattened the building like a bug.

 I'm still not sure how he did that...

 At sunset I lead Team 7 back to the Missions Assignment Office to hand in the reports of the missions. Of all of them, the babysitting mission had gone the smoothest. It was the only one that didn't fail due to destruction of private property. I was starting to worry that all our missions would fail as bad. One lecture from the Hokage about mission effectiveness later, Hiruzen dismissed us and Team 7 dispersed into the growing dusk, each heading to their own home.

 Sasuke and I walked back together in silence, far enough apart that we wouldn't brush up against each other as we walked. I was starting to get a feeling that this was going to be a regular thing.

 “You never did tell me why you don't speak to Shisui.” Sasuke commented out of the blue.

 I glared into the distance. Damn it I had been hoping he had forgotten about that. When I didn't say anything he continued, “I asked Shisui yesterday, but he only laughed it off and changed the subject. Aniki said you two used to be good friends.”

 “What happened to the glaring boy who first introduced himself?” I asked dryly.

 “He got curious.”

 “Curiosity killed the cat.”

 Sasuke finally glared at me before smirking, “And satisfaction brought it back.”

 I twitched in irritation. This kid had been hanging around Obito and Shisui too much if he was starting to quote those two goofballs. I started picking up my pace, making the Uchiha brat have to jog to keep up with me, “I don't have to explain anything to you. It's private.”

 Sasuke shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, “Fine. I'll tell Naruto that you were late today. I imagine he'll stop teasing you about it... when you're in your grave. Maybe not though.”

 It was hard resisting the urge to smack the boy upside the head like I would Nii-san or Shisui when they started blackmailing me. You don't blackmail the Blackmail Queen and get away with it, it was simply unheard of. I thought frantically of a way to get out of the mess I had created and cursed the fact that I didn't have any blackmail to hold over Sasuke.

 Oh wait...

 I smirked evilly down at him, enjoying the sight of Sasuke tensing up in anxiety. I already had the Uchiha brat trained so well, “Go ahead and tell Naruto,” I started nonchalantly with a shrug of my own. My eyes gleamed as I grinned sadistically, “but don't come whining to me when people start asking if you and the blonde brat are dating... That kiss was so romantic. I wonder what your family will think.”

 My little cousin's complexion turned from white to green to red in under two seconds. I laughed loudly and reached down to ruffle his duckass hair, ignoring his rather impressive glare, “Never try to blackmail the Blackmail Queen, I have that nickname for a reason. I know every embarrassing secret about everyone. Now drop the subject and you'll maintain your dignity.”

 “I will find out one day.” Sasuke said stubbornly.

 I held out my hands, palms facing upwards, and shrugged to show how much I cared, “Sure... maybe you will.” I said in a soothing tone, the kind that parents got when their child failed at something and was bawling their eyes out.

 Another glare from the boy, “Don't patronize me.”

 “Then don't leave yourself open.”

 “You're annoying.”

 “I've heard it all before, brat. Keep it coming.”

 “Aniki says you don't respect anyone.”

 “I don't respect people for who they are born as. They earn my respect.” I snapped, a little more harshly than I intended.

 Sasuke was silent after that, his young face hard with contemplation. I eyed the boy as we reached the Uchiha Compound. I knew Sasuke was smart–he should be after having a genius for an older brother–so it wasn't much of a surprise that he would think before he spoke. Still that expression on his face didn't belong on the twelve year old's face; one could hardly expect an adult to think so deeply, let alone a child. I did the only thing I could do.

 I swatted him upside the head.

 “HEY!” Sasuke yelped and glared at me as he rubbed the back of his head. I pulled my cousin in a choke hold and ground my first knuckle into his temple, like Obito used to do to me when I was younger.

 “You're still a brat and I still don't like you, but stop trying to over think things. Didn't you learn anything from your first teamwork exercise?” I asked. Sasuke glared at me for the reminder about his understated 'clue'. I laughed and pushed in away from me, “Go home and bother your 'aniki,' brat.” I said cheerfully and started to turn away before I remembered something.

 “Oh...” I looked over my shoulder at Sasuke who froze on spot, probably thinking I was going to say something evil, “and if Shisui ever gives you trouble, just ask him about his nineteenth birthday.” I said with a wink. I shunshined away, leaving the poor kid frowning in confusion.

  Chapter 7: Hypocrite Thy Name is-

Mission One: Retrieve cat from tree

 Rank: D-rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: yes

 Overview from Sensei: Team arrived on site for the mission and evaluated the situation. Sasuke shows signs of a adept strategist as he relayed a plan to his teammates on how to get the cat out of the tree. Hinata appears to be a good follower, as she completed every task Sasuke gave her. Naruto, however, shows that he is neither a good leader or a good follower. Disregarding both mine and Sasuke's orders, Naruto created kage bushin to climb up and retrieve the cat alone. Both Naruto and the tree were injured and the cat traumatized.

 …

 Mission Two: Grocery Shopping for the Chief Councilor’s Wife (time limit: 2 hours)

 Rank: D-rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: no

 Overview from Sensei: Hinata took action by dividing up the long list of groceries between the three genin to save time. Sasuke shows excellent signs of being a follower when it is needed. He finished his section in record time and had the foresight to retrieve items not on the list but were still necessary. Hinata was only moments behind Sasuke in completing her tasks. Naruto go sidetracked by ramen and thus failed the time crucial mission.

 …

 Mission Three: Weeding the Public Gardens

 Rank: D-Rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: no

 Overview from Sensei: Sasuke and Hinata did alright. They successfully finished their sections of the gardens and disposed of the weeds properly. Hinata was even able to give advice about plant upkeep to the caretakers. Naruto pulled everything, plant and weed, from his sections. Half of his paycheck has been cut to go to the whiny plant caretakers.

…

 Mission Four: Cleaning Nekobaa's House

 Rank: D-rank

 Team: Team 7

 Overview from Sensei: An almost replica of the team's first mission to clean Nekobaa's hut. Sasuke and Hinata applied their ninja skills to complete their tasks faster. Naruto once again upset the cats and made another mess. Thankfully Nekobaa was not too upset.

 …

 Mission Five: Babysitting

 Rank: D-Rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: yes

 Overview from Sensei: Naruto shouldn't be allowed around children. He somehow traumatized the little brat... and not by means that you are thinking of.

 ...

 Mission Six: Gardening for Lady Jin

 Rank: D-Rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: no

 Overview from Sensei: I'M STARTING TO THINK THIS IS A CRUEL JOKE, HOKAGE!

 I shoved the reports away from me and tossed the pen down. I needed a break. It was only my official second day of being a jounin sensei and already I needed a break. I was going to go insane if I had to spend another minute around those three brats!

 “YANAGI-SENSEI!” A voice I knew too well, and didn't like at all, shouted from the front door. The brat was loud enough that I could hear his voice even from the back of the house. Cursing I started to get up to answer it when the worst happened.

 Obito.

 Met.

 Naruto.

 “HEY LOUD-MOUTH BRAT! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH BEFORE I FIND AWAY TO STITCH IT CLOSED! I'M TRYING TO WRITE REPORTS!!” Obito roared and I cringed at the sound of his loud voice bouncing off the walls of our house. Fugaku really didn't think things through when he thought that a two bedroom house was enough for the infamous Uchiha hotheads.

 “SAY THAT TO MY FACE!” Naruto, of course, yelled back. Luckily his voice was a little muffled so I didn't go completely deaf then and there.

 Nii-san cursed rather loudly and I could hear him stomping towards the front door. Well crap, now I had to deal with two idiots under the same roof. I groaned from my seat, not having yet bothered to move and separate the two before things could escalate. Why oh why was I cursed to live with a difficult brother and have to teach the loudest brat I had ever known in existence? Even if I was the worst kind of insane homicidal psychopath in a past life, I doubted that I deserved this fate.

 Whoever told Naruto where I lived, I was going to murder them in the most horrific way.

 “Hey! You're that guy we had to prank.” I could hear Naruto saying as I heard the sliding door slam open. Oh crap. I forgot about that prank! Scrambling out of my seat I rushed into the main room just in time to see Obito glowering down at my student. At least he wasn't killing him... yet.

 Obito, to say the least, didn't look pleased at all, “Kid, you've got three seconds to get off my property.”  Naruto had better thank his lucky stars that he was the son of Minato-san; otherwise I doubted that the blonde brat would be standing there for very long. Predictably, a very long and very loud argument between the two knuckleheads started.

 I sighed as I thought about my options. Option one: Do nothing and let Obito and Naruto dislike each other. It might be a good thing, since they wouldn't bother me as much when they were too busy yelling at each other. However, two extremely loud people shouting at each other was a sure ticket to migraines. Option two: Make them like each other. If Nii-san got along well enough with Naruto then they would probably go pranking together and get out of my hair for a few hours. The downside was that I would have to deal with Naruto more often. My choice was clear.

 After retrieving Obito's wallet from his room, I chucked it at my brother and hit him on the back of his head. Obito spun around to glare at me, “What the hell is wrong with you?!” He snapped.

 I glared back at him, “Stop giving me headaches and go bond with your Mini-me. Buy ramen or whatever.” I dismissed with a wave of my hand.

 “Mini-me?! He's (I'm) not my (his) Mini-me!” Obito and Naruto shouted at the same time, in the exact same offended voice. I laughed at their expressions as horror came over their faces and they glanced at each other. Everything was in perfect sync, it was very creepy but amusing at the same time. I just gave the two a knowing smirk. It was so obvious that Nii-san and the Kyuubi brat were alike, and they just kept proving it by mimicking each other.

 I turned to Naruto as the two came to terms with their sudden likeness, “How'd you get here? I know someone told you, who were they?” I asked sternly.

 Naruto was still too busy giving Obito a nasty glare, which was returned tenfold, to answer me. It wasn't until I reached around my brother and yanked harshly on Naruto's ear that the blonde finally looked at me, “Ai ai ai! Frizzy-sensei! Don't pulllll!” He whined. I stiffened at the nickname and Obito burst out laughing.

 “Frizzy...sensei?” I asked, my tone turning dangerously. My hair, I admit, was unruly–even more so than Shisui's–but you never ever tease a woman about her appearance. Especially a hot tempered woman like me. Uchiha women were naturally beautiful, with their long flowing hair and dark intelligent eyes; I knew I wasn't on par with them, and I was extra volatile about my appearance because of that.

 The kid seemed to understand that he was in deep trouble now as he squirmed in my grip. He kept apologizing over and over. I just pinched his earlobe harder in a warning before letting go. The brat danced from foot to foot, both hands clasped to his injured ear, wailing about how much it hurt. Obito snickered the whole time, finding amusement in what he normally did when Rin pulled on his ear.

 I shot my brother a meaningful look and thankfully Obito caught my meaning and shoved Naruto out the door, “Come on, ya brat. I'm hungry and my imoto will only murder you if you stay here.” My brother drawled. Naruto made no complaints, probably hoping that Obito would take pity on the blonde and feed him.

 Rolling my eyes at the stupidity of those around me, I shut the door and went back to my room. I needed to finish those stupid mission reports.

 Someone murder me now.

 vvv

 “OBITO!” A voice shouted and I groaned, letting my head fall onto my desk. Was I never to have a moment's peace to myself without some loud mouth idiot coming to ruin it?! Though, granted the person yelling now wasn't a loud mouth...

 He was just extremely pissed.

 I glared at Kakashi the minute I walked into the main room, “Honestly, Kakashi, you have no room to yell at Obito-nii for lateness. You do it yourself!” I snapped as my way to say hello.

 “Where is he?”

 “Out distracting Naruto so I can do reports.”

 “Did he finish his?”

 I shrugged, “He was working on his reports until Naruto came along. By the way, do you know who told Naruto where we live? 'Cause I sure as hell didn't!” I eyed Kakashi suspiciously, thinking maybe he had something to do with it; but I turned the thought down immediately. The only association Kakashi had with Naruto was through Minato-san. And besides, neither Obito or I had warranted the revenge of the Copy-nin... yet.

 Kakashi also shrugged, his temporary anger already dissipating. I don't know how Kakashi managed to go through the emotional spectrum so fast. Normally the only thing that could rile the white haired shinobi up was Obito, and Kakashi's anger usually went away after a few minutes. I on the other hand could hold grudges for a long time.

 ...Five years in fact...

 I rolled my eyes when Kakashi didn't say anything and walked past him to shut the door; Kakashi had a bad habit of leaving doors open when it wasn't his own house. I turned back to my brother figure after I locked the door. Seriously, living in a shinobi village... and we had a cheap lock on the door. Both Obito and I were powerful in the clan, bested only by Itachi and Shisui, so I didn't understand why Obito installed the lock in the first place. Besides, what good what it do? If anyone was determined enough, a lock wasn't going to stop them.

 “Any particular reason why you came to yell for my brother? Or are you just making sure he's not being lazy?” I asked Kakashi.

 Kakashi fell back into his laid-back persona and chuckled sheepishly, “A little bit of both actually.” He said, scratching the back of his head. I huffed, of course he was. I raised an eyebrow and waited for Kakashi to elaborate, “Obito promised Rin and me that he would meet us at the BBQ today at noon.” I checked the time. It was almost four in the afternoon, only an hour since Obito left to distract Naruto.

 I rolled my eyes, “And you're only now coming to yell at him? I think you're a tad late yourself, Kakashi.” My brother figure shrugged as if it was okay when he was the one that was late.

 Hypocrite.

 “Fine. Since you're here, you're going to treat me to dinner. No exceptions.” I said and pulled Kakashi out of the house. Had it been Obito, he would have whined about being forced to come, but Kakashi just chuckled at my controlling nature. He had long since learned that when I put my mind to something, I was the most stubborn thing alive.

 A few minutes later found the two of us in an Akimichi restaurant. The Akimichi clan was famous for owning several restaurants around Konoha as well as being a ninja clan. Many clans had civilian sideline profits that could be used for shinobi means; it was almost rare not to. The Akimichi were into restaurants, but they also made most of Konoha's standard ration bars and mission food supplies. The Yamanaka clan owns chains of flower shops and provided shinobi with poisons and herbs. The Uchiha worked as police for civilians but they could easily switch to being an army if the need arose. There were various ways the clans could help Konoha's civilian population; it was a complex system smoothed out from years of experimenting.

 Except the Hyuuga clan, they were just a bunch of freeloaders.

 “So did you ever decide if you were going to personally train that Uchiha kid or not?” I asked as Kakashi pulled down his mask to enjoy his dinner. The two of us were in a private booth so there were no worries about people seeing Kakashi's face. Since I had been practically raised by Kakashi as well as Obito, it was inevitable that I would see the Copy-nin unmasked so Kakashi never truly bothered to hide his face from me. Plus it always helped that I had threatened to reveal pictures of him unmasked to the fangirl population if he ever tried to hide his face from me.

 That was my first ever blackmail and I found pride in it.

 Kakashi held up a finger as he finished chewing on his mouthful of broiled saury. I was just happy that he didn't talk with his mouth full like Nii-san did, the uncouth pig. “I'm still debating.” He said nonchalantly when he swallowed. Code for: I haven't decided to retire from ANBU Corps yet. “What do you think I should do?” Kakashi added, almost in afterthought.

 “Mmm... when I talked to Sasuke about it, he said that Netsui was one of the top genin. It seems unfair that he would fail just because his team has no concept of teamwork.” I tapped my chopsticks against my bowl of Nikujaga as I thought. There were really only two options for Netsui. He could always go into the Genin Corps and work his way slowly up in ranks, but that would take time and it was unheard of for an Uchiha to do so. Or he could snag a jounin master and learn privately, which could go one of two ways: having a Uchiha clansmen help or a random jounin. A non-clansmen wouldn't be any good anyway, since they couldn't teach Netsui how to master his Sharingan if it developed; and getting an Uchiha to be Netsui's master could be problematic in the sense that Konoha would think the clan was beginning to conspire again. That was a fate I wished to avoid at all costs.

 I might have no love for the clan, but I still didn't want it to be wiped out like it almost was.

 A sudden flick in the forehead startled me out of my musings. Kakashi rolled his eye as he sat back, “Stop plotting and tell me what you're thinking.” He said dryly. I giggled a little. Because of his sharingan gift from Obito, Kakashi was one of the few outsiders that was close to the Uchiha clan so he knew all about our tendency to over think things.

 Quickly I explained my thoughts about Netsui's future. Even though he kept a relaxed posture Kakashi seemed to listen intently to my reasoning, I could tell by the sharp glint in his eye. That was one reason why I liked Kakashi. He didn't think that because I was female, even if I was an Uchiha, that I didn't know anything. I might not have Itachi-san's ability to think up plans years in advance and predict every possible outcome, but I still had a sharp mind and I put it to use. Kakashi knew that.

 Kakashi's single visible eyebrow pulled down low over his nose and his mouth turned downwards in a frown as he came to the same conclusion I did. If Kakashi didn't do anything, Netsui would be isolated from the clan and saw as a failure like Obito had been when he refused to take his sharingan back from Kakashi. The Uchiha clan didn't look kindly on failures; our ruthlessness was one of the aspects that made us stronger than most clans. Kind hearted fools had better be powerful or else they were cut off. It was one thing that would never change, even with the clan's change of heart we would be ruthless to the end.

 A heavy silence fell over our booth as I waited for Kakashi to speak. I knew Kakashi was going through all his options carefully, trying to see every possible outcome. Kakashi didn't run headfirst into things, he was levelheaded and logical. If I pushed him now he would probably read wrongly into my motives, thinking that I might have an ulterior motive in regards to Netsui's future. I would have to be patient and wait for Kakashi's answer.

 Finally my brother figure groaned, “No offense... but your clan sucks.” He said resigned.

 I laughed, “No offense taken, I think the same thing.” I said lightly and turned back to my Nikujaga. A different kind of silence descended on us, this one more peaceful now that matters were resolved and Netsui wasn't in danger of becoming an outcast like my brother.

 Of course, Kakashi in all his nosy glory had to ask, “Why are you so interested in the kid anyway? He's not related directly to you like Sasuke.”

 “Because,” I said seriously, giving my brother figure a hard stare, “I don't want anyone to end up like Obito. People still look down on Nii-san, even though he is the third most powerful in the clan. I... I don't want anyone to suffer like he has.” I finished in a whisper, staring down at my bowl of sweet beef. Suddenly it didn't look all that appealing anymore. I admit it, for all my ranting about Obito and for all the times I claimed I didn't like him, I was still his younger sister. And little sister had to look up to their brothers, especially when their brother was the person who raised them.

 Kakashi shifted in his seat, probably extremely uncomfortable. The Copy-nin never really did handle emotions well, there was a reason why one of his ANBU nicknames was the 'Hot and Cold Kakashi.' But hey, at least I wasn't crying.

 Kakashi freaked when a girl cried near him.

 “Maa... doesn't Netsui have a twin?” Kakashi asked, discomfort coloring his voice a little. I knew he would change the subject. Kakashi trying to get away from sensitive topics was about as certain as Gai connecting any conversation to youth in some fashion.

 So forgive me if I couldn't help but snort a little at his predictability, “Yeah. Nerai has good medical skills, best in her class from what I hear. Can you talk to Rin and see if she is willing to sponsor Nerai?” Nerai was easy to deal with, it was Netsui that I was concerned about. The Uchiha clan was always harder on their men than the women.

 Bunch of sexist pricks.

 Without waiting for Kakashi's reply I stood and threw some yen down on the table, “You can go read your porn now, Hentai-nii. I'm through bothering you for the day.” I said teasingly. Kakashi's expression was not a happy one to say the least.

 But that was what made things fun.

 vvv

 I barely sat down at my desk, prepared to finished up those stupid mission reports even if it killed me, when there was loud banging at the front door... again. I was never going to win! Growling curses and muttering of all the ways I could kill whoever was at the door, going as far as to specify what I would do with their severed fingers and toes, I went to answer the door.

 “What the hell do you want?” I growled as I slammed the door open then froze when I saw who was standing at my door.

 I blinked.

 And blinked again.

 Fugaku did not look amused at all. “We have been summoned to the Hokage's office. Let's go.” He said in that gruff voice of his before he shunshined away.

 I stood there for a moment, stunned that the Uchiha clan leader would have actually come to my door. If Fugaku ever needed something from either Obito or I, he would send one of his little minions to fetch us, not come personally. Whatever he wanted, it was serious if it could get his royal ass within ten meters of our house. Out of sheer curiosity, and nothing else, I followed after my clan leader and went to the Hokage's Office.

 I sincerely wished I hadn't.

 The moment I stepped into Hiruzen's office I knew I was in trouble. Not only was Fugaku standing off to the side, glaring at me like he always did, but across the room the Hyuuga clan leader also stood, giving me the same glare.

 If it wasn't for the different colored eyes, I'd say they were related.

 Ignoring the two arrogant clan leaders, I focused my attention on the highly amused Hokage, “You wished to see me, Hokage-sama?” I asked, my tone perfectly polite. From the aura darkening around Fugaku, I knew it irritated him. I had to keep the smirk off my face. Annoy my clan leader by being polite: check.

 The Hokage seemed to know what I was doing, since he shook his head disappoint but that didn't make his small smile go away. The Hyuuga spoke instead of the Hokage though, “The matter of my daughter.”

 “What about her?” I demanded, not even pretending to be polite. I might not like the Uchiha clan, but like any Uchiha with even an ounce of loyalty, I automatically detested the Hyuuga.

 The Hyuuga clan leader, whatever his name was, twitched at the blatant disrespect. I smirked at him, Uchiha may be traditional, but we had nothing on those white eyed weirdos. The Hokage sighed, “Please, do not antagonize, Uchiha Yanagi.” He said tiredly. I bowed low in a false apology and didn't say anything. Fugaku and Hiruzen knew that was the best they were going to get out of me and didn't press the subject.

 “Lord Hokage, why did you put Hinata on a team with two Uchiha?” Hyuuga Prick Number 1 asked, completely ignoring Fugaku and me like we didn't exist. I rolled my eyes, this was why the Uchiha found no love in the Hyuuga. You couldn't find another clan that had so many jackasses in it anywhere else in the world. Not even the Uchiha clan could compete with the Hyuuga in that.

 Hiruzen didn't react at all. He just looked at the Hyuuga and said in an almost scolding tone, “Hyuuga Hiashi, please calm down.” Even though it was polite, anyone could tell that the Hokage was ordering Hiashi to shut the hell up. Hiashi's face twisted with displeasure, but he didn't dare go against the Hokage.

 The old man took a long draw on his ever present pipe before saying, “It is that attitude that makes this team arrangement necessary.” Oh dear heaven above, here we go... another long winded speech, “For years the Uchiha have been oppressed because of their ancestors actions. People often forget that the Uchiha were one of the founding clans of Konoha. It was the Uchiha clan that kept Konoha safe in the first few years, along with the Senju clan, but now they are treated with suspicion. After the Kyuubi attack, people began to distrust the Uchiha even more, until the point that the Uchiha nearly started a coup.”

 “That is exactly why we shouldn't let the Uchiha teach our children!” Hiashi snapped.

 “Hey!” I shouted and took a menacing step forward, how dare that insufferable prick accuse me of brainwashing the genin, but Fugaku held me back. From the tightness of his grip I knew that, for once, my clan leader and I were in agreement with something.

 The Hokage gave the three of us a steely look that reminded us of the war leader he had been, not the harmless grandfatherly type that he appeared to be now. Even though I had only been seven when the Third Shinobi War had ended, it was enough to know just how frightening Hiruzen could be when he wanted.

 When we had calmed down enough not to attack each other, Hiruzen continued, “It is because the Uchiha almost revolted that we should have Uchiha teaching genin.” Cue the 'I'm confused but I'm sure as not showing it in front of my enemy' look from Hiashi. Hell, I was a little confused too. The Hokage smiled slightly, “The Uchiha lost trust in Konoha, that is why they almost attacked. Had it not been for certain parties to intervene, I doubt that the Uchiha would be alive today.” Of the few people who knew about the attempted Uchiha coup only a handful knew that Itachi and Shisui were the ones who stopped it. And none of them were Hiashi. “It was clear that such an event could possibly happen again in the future if nothing was done. Konoha, as well as the Uchiha clan, had to change for the better if we were to prevent something of that scale again. What better way to clear away the dark past then to instill a new future into the minds of the next generation?

 “As for your daughter; it is a simple attempt to bring the Uchiha clan closer to the others. In the past, both before Konoha and after it was built, the Uchiha clan has always stood alone. They never relied on alliances with other clans. I believe that if they were to open their arms and welcome the friendship of other clans, they would be even stronger than they are now.” I noticed that Fugaku was standing a little straighter behind me and I had to swallow the urge to laugh at his pride. The Hokage was playing these two old warthogs like a fiddle, and expertly too. “Clan alliances always work best in teamwork. Take the Akimichi, Yamanaka, and Nara clans. Any team that contains members of those clans are known to have the best teamwork. Just imagine what the Hyuuga and Uchiha could accomplish together.”

 Both clan members gave each other appeasing looks, as if both were trying to figure the benefits they would get being allies. I raised a knowing eyebrow at the Hokage while the old farts were busy eyeing each other like sacks of meat. Hiruzen only chuckled under his breath and gave me a quick wink, so fast had I blinked I would have never seen it.

 “So... does this mean I can get back to my team? I have torture to dish out.” I asked, half joking. Okay, so not the best thing to say in front of the three men who were fathers, or a grandfather figure in the Hokage's case, to my precious little genin.

 I don't think even Obito can ever achieve the evil looks I got from those three.

[thatsnotcanonpodcasts]

The Mask Of Anarchy by Percy Bysshe Shelley read by Zane C Weber

The Mask Of Anarchy by Percy Bysshe Shelley

    1.

    As I lay asleep in Italy

    There came a voice from over the Sea,

    And with great power it forth led me

    To walk in the visions of Poesy.

    2.

    I met Murder on the way -

    He had a mask like Castlereagh -

    Very smooth he looked, yet grim;

    Seven blood-hounds followed him:

    3.

    All were fat; and well they might

    Be in admirable plight,

    For one by one, and two by two,

    He tossed them human hearts to chew

    Which from his wide cloak he drew.

    4.

    Next came Fraud, and he had on,

    Like Eldon, an ermined gown;

    His big tears, for he wept well,

    Turned to mill-stones as they fell.

    5.

    And the little children, who

    Round his feet played to and fro,

    Thinking every tear a gem,

    Had their brains knocked out by them.

    6.

    Clothed with the Bible, as with light,

    And the shadows of the night,

    Like Sidmouth, next, Hypocrisy

    On a crocodile rode by.

    7.

    And many more Destructions played

    In this ghastly masquerade,

    All disguised, even to the eyes,

    Like Bishops, lawyers, peers, or spies.

    8.

    Last came Anarchy: he rode

    On a white horse, splashed with blood;

    He was pale even to the lips,

    Like Death in the Apocalypse.

    9.

    And he wore a kingly crown;

    And in his grasp a sceptre shone;

    On his brow this mark I saw -

    'I AM GOD, AND KING, AND LAW!'

    10.

    With a pace stately and fast,

    Over English land he passed,

    Trampling to a mire of blood

    The adoring multitude.

    11.

    And a mighty troop around,

    With their trampling shook the ground,

    Waving each a bloody sword,

    For the service of their Lord.

    12.

    And with glorious triumph, they

    Rode through England proud and gay,

    Drunk as with intoxication

    Of the wine of desolation.

    13.

    O'er fields and towns, from sea to sea,

    Passed the Pageant swift and free,

    Tearing up, and trampling down;

    Till they came to London town.

    14.

    And each dweller, panic-stricken,

    Felt his heart with terror sicken

    Hearing the tempestuous cry

    Of the triumph of Anarchy.

    15.

    For with pomp to meet him came,

    Clothed in arms like blood and flame,

    The hired murderers, who did sing

    'Thou art God, and Law, and King.

    16.

    'We have waited, weak and lone

    For thy coming, Mighty One!

    Our purses are empty, our swords are cold,

    Give us glory, and blood, and gold.'

    17.

    Lawyers and priests, a motley crowd,

    To the earth their pale brows bowed;

    Like a bad prayer not over loud,

    Whispering - 'Thou art Law and God.' -

    18.

    Then all cried with one accord,

    'Thou art King, and God, and Lord;

    Anarchy, to thee we bow,

    Be thy name made holy now!'

    19.

    And Anarchy, the Skeleton,

    Bowed and grinned to every one,

    As well as if his education

    Had cost ten millions to the nation.

    20.

    For he knew the Palaces

    Of our Kings were rightly his;

    His the sceptre, crown, and globe,

    And the gold-inwoven robe.

    21.

    So he sent his slaves before

    To seize upon the Bank and Tower,

    And was proceeding with intent

    To meet his pensioned Parliament

    22.

    When one fled past, a maniac maid,

    And her name was Hope, she said:

    But she looked more like Despair,

    And she cried out in the air:

    23.

    'My father Time is weak and gray

    With waiting for a better day;

    See how idiot-like he stands,

    Fumbling with his palsied hands!

    24.

    'He has had child after child,

    And the dust of death is piled

    Over every one but me -

    Misery, oh, Misery!'

    25.

    Then she lay down in the street,

    Right before the horses' feet,

    Expecting, with a patient eye,

    Murder, Fraud, and Anarchy.

    26.

    When between her and her foes

    A mist, a light, an image rose,

    Small at first, and weak, and frail

    Like the vapour of a vale:

    27.

    Till as clouds grow on the blast,

    Like tower-crowned giants striding fast,

    And glare with lightnings as they fly,

    And speak in thunder to the sky,

    28.

    It grew - a Shape arrayed in mail

    Brighter than the viper's scale,

    And upborne on wings whose grain

    Was as the light of sunny rain.

    29.

    On its helm, seen far away,

    A planet, like the Morning's, lay;

    And those plumes its light rained through

    Like a shower of crimson dew.

    30.

    With step as soft as wind it passed

    O'er the heads of men - so fast

    That they knew the presence there,

    And looked, - but all was empty air.

    31.

    As flowers beneath May's footstep waken,

    As stars from Night's loose hair are shaken,

    As waves arise when loud winds call,

    Thoughts sprung where'er that step did fall.

    32.

    And the prostrate multitude

    Looked - and ankle-deep in blood,

    Hope, that maiden most serene,

    Was walking with a quiet mien:

    33.

    And Anarchy, the ghastly birth,

    Lay dead earth upon the earth;

    The Horse of Death tameless as wind

    Fled, and with his hoofs did grind

    To dust the murderers thronged behind.

    34.

    A rushing light of clouds and splendour,

    A sense awakening and yet tender

    Was heard and felt - and at its close

    These words of joy and fear arose

    35.

    As if their own indignant Earth

    Which gave the sons of England birth

    Had felt their blood upon her brow,

    And shuddering with a mother's throe

    36.

    Had turned every drop of blood

    By which her face had been bedewed

    To an accent unwithstood, -

    As if her heart had cried aloud:

    37.

    'Men of England, heirs of Glory,

    Heroes of unwritten story,

    Nurslings of one mighty Mother,

    Hopes of her, and one another;

    38.

    'Rise like Lions after slumber

    In unvanquishable number,

    Shake your chains to earth like dew

    Which in sleep had fallen on you -

    Ye are many - they are few.

    39.

    'What is Freedom? - ye can tell

    That which slavery is, too well -

    For its very name has grown

    To an echo of your own.

    40.

    ''Tis to work and have such pay

    As just keeps life from day to day

    In your limbs, as in a cell

    For the tyrants' use to dwell,

    41.

    'So that ye for them are made

    Loom, and plough, and sword, and spade,

    With or without your own will bent

    To their defence and nourishment.

    42.

    ''Tis to see your children weak

    With their mothers pine and peak,

    When the winter winds are bleak, -

    They are dying whilst I speak.

    43.

    ''Tis to hunger for such diet

    As the rich man in his riot

    Casts to the fat dogs that lie

    Surfeiting beneath his eye;

    44.

    ''Tis to let the Ghost of Gold

    Take from Toil a thousandfold

    More than e'er its substance could

    In the tyrannies of old.

    45.

    'Paper coin - that forgery

    Of the title-deeds, which ye

    Hold to something of the worth

    Of the inheritance of Earth.

    46.

    ''Tis to be a slave in soul

    And to hold no strong control

    Over your own wills, but be

    All that others make of ye.

    47.

    'And at length when ye complain

    With a murmur weak and vain

    'Tis to see the Tyrant's crew

    Ride over your wives and you

    Blood is on the grass like dew.

    48.

    'Then it is to feel revenge

    Fiercely thirsting to exchange

    Blood for blood - and wrong for wrong -

    Do not thus when ye are strong.

    49.

    'Birds find rest, in narrow nest

    When weary of their winged quest;

    Beasts find fare, in woody lair

    When storm and snow are in the air.

    50.

    'Asses, swine, have litter spread

    And with fitting food are fed;

    All things have a home but one -

    Thou, Oh, Englishman, hast none!

    51.

    'This is Slavery - savage men,

    Or wild beasts within a den

    Would endure not as ye do -

    But such ills they never knew.

    52.

    'What art thou Freedom? O! could slaves

    Answer from their living graves

    This demand - tyrants would flee

    Like a dream's dim imagery:

    53.

    'Thou art not, as impostors say,

    A shadow soon to pass away,

    A superstition, and a name

    Echoing from the cave of Fame.

    54.

    'For the labourer thou art bread,

    And a comely table spread

    From his daily labour come

    In a neat and happy home.

    55.

    Thou art clothes, and fire, and food

    For the trampled multitude -

    No - in countries that are free

    Such starvation cannot be

    As in England now we see.

    56.

    'To the rich thou art a check,

    When his foot is on the neck

    Of his victim, thou dost make

    That he treads upon a snake.

    57.

    Thou art Justice - ne'er for gold

    May thy righteous laws be sold

    As laws are in England - thou

    Shield'st alike the high and low.

    58.

    'Thou art Wisdom - Freemen never

    Dream that God will damn for ever

    All who think those things untrue

    Of which Priests make such ado.

    59.

    'Thou art Peace - never by thee

    Would blood and treasure wasted be

    As tyrants wasted them, when all

    Leagued to quench thy flame in Gaul.

    60.

    'What if English toil and blood

    Was poured forth, even as a flood?

    It availed, Oh, Liberty,

    To dim, but not extinguish thee.

    61.

    'Thou art Love - the rich have kissed

    Thy feet, and like him following Christ,

    Give their substance to the free

    And through the rough world follow thee,

    62.

    'Or turn their wealth to arms, and make

    War for thy beloved sake

    On wealth, and war, and fraud - whence they

    Drew the power which is their prey.

    63.

    'Science, Poetry, and Thought

    Are thy lamps; they make the lot

    Of the dwellers in a cot

    So serene, they curse it not.

    64.

    'Spirit, Patience, Gentleness,

    All that can adorn and bless

    Art thou - let deeds, not words, express

    Thine exceeding loveliness.

    65.

    'Let a great Assembly be

    Of the fearless and the free

    On some spot of English ground

    Where the plains stretch wide around.

    66.

    'Let the blue sky overhead,

    The green earth on which ye tread,

    All that must eternal be

    Witness the solemnity.

    67.

    'From the corners uttermost

    Of the bounds of English coast;

    From every hut, village, and town

    Where those who live and suffer moan

    For others' misery or their own,

    68.

    'From the workhouse and the prison

    Where pale as corpses newly risen,

    Women, children, young and old

    Groan for pain, and weep for cold -

    69.

    'From the haunts of daily life

    Where is waged the daily strife

    With common wants and common cares

    Which sows the human heart with tares -

    70.

    'Lastly from the palaces

    Where the murmur of distress

    Echoes, like the distant sound

    Of a wind alive around

    71.

    'Those prison halls of wealth and fashion,

    Where some few feel such compassion

    For those who groan, and toil, and wail

    As must make their brethren pale -

    72.

    'Ye who suffer woes untold,

    Or to feel, or to behold

    Your lost country bought and sold

    With a price of blood and gold -

    73.

    'Let a vast assembly be,

    And with great solemnity

    Declare with measured words that ye

    Are, as God has made ye, free -

    74.

    'Be your strong and simple words

    Keen to wound as sharpened swords,

    And wide as targes let them be,

    With their shade to cover ye.

    75.

    'Let the tyrants pour around

    With a quick and startling sound,

    Like the loosening of a sea,

    Troops of armed emblazonry.

    76.

    'Let the charged artillery drive

    Till the dead air seems alive

    With the clash of clanging wheels,

    And the tramp of horses' heels.

    77.

    'Let the fixed bayonet

    Gleam with sharp desire to wet

    Its bright point in English blood

    Looking keen as one for food.

    78.

    Let the horsemen's scimitars

    Wheel and flash, like sphereless stars

    Thirsting to eclipse their burning

    In a sea of death and mourning.

    79.

    'Stand ye calm and resolute,

    Like a forest close and mute,

    With folded arms and looks which are

    Weapons of unvanquished war,

    80.

    'And let Panic, who outspeeds

    The career of armed steeds

    Pass, a disregarded shade

    Through your phalanx undismayed.

    81.

    'Let the laws of your own land,

    Good or ill, between ye stand

    Hand to hand, and foot to foot,

    Arbiters of the dispute,

    82.

    'The old laws of England - they

    Whose reverend heads with age are gray,

    Children of a wiser day;

    And whose solemn voice must be

    Thine own echo - Liberty!

    83.

    'On those who first should violate

    Such sacred heralds in their state

    Rest the blood that must ensue,

    And it will not rest on you.

    84.

    'And if then the tyrants dare

    Let them ride among you there,

    Slash, and stab, and maim, and hew, -

    What they like, that let them do.

    85.

    'With folded arms and steady eyes,

    And little fear, and less surprise,

    Look upon them as they slay

    Till their rage has died away.

    86.

    Then they will return with shame

    To the place from which they came,

    And the blood thus shed will speak

    In hot blushes on their cheek.

    87.

    'Every woman in the land

    Will point at them as they stand -

    They will hardly dare to greet

    Their acquaintance in the street.

    88.

    'And the bold, true warriors

    Who have hugged Danger in wars

    Will turn to those who would be free,

    Ashamed of such base company.

    89.

    'And that slaughter to the Nation

    Shall steam up like inspiration,

    Eloquent, oracular;

    A volcano heard afar.

    90.

    'And these words shall then become

    Like Oppression's thundered doom

    Ringing through each heart and brain,

    Heard again - again - again -

      91.

    'Rise like Lions after slumber

    In unvanquishable number -

    Shake your chains to earth like dew

    Which in sleep had fallen on you -

    Ye are many - they are few.'

Find us online at thatsnotcanon.com/epigraphy

Subscribe to us on ITUNES, STITCHER, SPOTIFY, RADIOPUBLIC or your podcatcher of choice.

Find us on FACEBOOK, TWITTER or INSTAGRAM.

[katlyn1948]

An Unexpected Journey: Part 5

Arya meet with Ser Rednick at dawn. Even with the dim twilight, the harbor of King's Landing was alive with working people. It took a good while for Arya to actually get to Nymeria because of the gathering crowds. She had wanted to get to the ship before the workers started their day, but she had an unfinished conversion with her sister that she needed to address before she left.

It was early, so Arya wasn't sure if Sansa would even be awake, but none the less, she knocked on her chamber doors. She heard a few shuffles and a grunt of what sound like someone hitting their foot on the bed post. After several minutes, Sansa opened the door. She was in her nightgown and a robe covering her round belly.

"Arya? What in seven hells? You are aware that the sun hasn't even broken the horizon. What are you doing up?" Her sister said with a sleepy voice.

"I wanted to bid you a farewell. I'm leaving in just few short hours and I wanted to apologize for my behavior as last night's supper." Arya said.

Sansa eased a bit and small smile grew on her face. "You do not have to apologize. I should not have pushed you. You are a woman grown and you do not have to explain yourself. Just promise you'll be back."

Arya quickly embraced her sister, "Of course I will be back. I cannot miss the birth of this babe."

Sansa gave her sister a tight squeeze. She normally didn't cry, but with the babe in her belly, it made every little thing emotional. "Be safe." She said to her sister before she shut the door behind her.

Arya made haste after her goodbye to her sister. She wanted to get on the sea and be at Storm's End before the the morrow drew to a close. She was anxious and ready to take the voyage south.

Ser Rednick was waiting at the dock where Nymeria was stationed when Arya arrived. He had the sails hoisted and the crew ready for sailing. Arya was truly greatful for the old navigator. He took the reigns when she could not. He had taught her the proper way to sail and run a ship. Without him she would have been truly lost.

"Ser Rednick, how was your stay?" she asked as she boarded the ship.

"Quite well, Lady Stark. I was able to send a raven to my son and let him know of my journey to Storm's End."

"So he is aware of our impending arrival?" Her eyes were quizzical.

He nodded, "Aye, he'll be joinin' us as we dock. He said the weathers ought to be good for an easy sailing." Ser Rednick looked up to the skys. "And I will have to agree with him."

Arya's eyes followed. The skys were clear with not a cloud in sight. The winds were steady and sails were eager.

"Well then, Ser Rednick, let us not waste anymore time. Lift the anchor and set sail for Storm's End."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took two days for them to reach the port of Storm’s End. Two days on her ship did nothing to ease the nerves that she had been feeling ever since she docked at King’s Landing.

She hadn’t seen him in five years. Had not sent a raven to ask about his well-being nor even asked her siblings when she did write. She had absolutely no idea what he had been up to or if he was still the same man she left all those years ago.

Ser Rednick hardly talked about Storm’s End unless it was about his son and she had purposefully avoided talk about the damned place if it was ever brought in conversation.

But standing on the dock with the light drizzle that had ascended upon them she couldn’t be more ecstatic. Her nerves were high, but her excitement was higher and she could scarcely believe that she was finally here.

She has never been to Storm’s End, but she could remember her father’s stories of the seas side castle and how it over looked ocean. The impregnable keep and it’s ability to weather any storm. It truly was a glorious castle. She even dared to think that it was more beautiful than Winterfell.

Ser Rednick had mentioned of it’s magnificent beauty, but one could not truly understand until they looked upon it with their own eyes.

It was slightly shocking to Arya that she never took the time to visit this place. Perhaps if she did, she may have never left Westeros.

The harbor of Storm’s End was just as busy as the one in King’s Landing. The fisherman were reeling in their morning catch and vendors were out and about selling their oysters, clams, and cockles. It was like any other bustling town thriving with common folk and Arya couldn’t help but smile.

When she left Westeros, Storm’s End had been on the brink of mutiny. The locals and bannermen alike were starving and unorganized and she heard that if it wasn’t for the new Lord and his trusted advisor, there would be no more Storm’s End. Perhaps, she thought, he isn’t a stupid bull after all.

Arya’s thoughts were quickly disrupted by sounds of joyous laughter. To her left she could see Ser Rednick and young man that could pass as Ser Rednick’s former self, embrace in a bearly hug. No doubt it was his son that he could not stop talking about.

“Lady Arya,” Ser Rednick motioned her to come. “This is my son, Archibald Rednick III.”

Arya lifted her brow to the navigator. “The third? Your name is Archibald? I thought you said it was Roger.”

“Aye it is. My second name is Roger. I hate Archibald.”

Arya glanced at the young man the back at Ser Rednick. “Then why did you name him that?”

“I have asked him that same question everyday of my life since I could talk.” The young man spoke. He quickly bowed to Arya.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Arya. I’ve heard all I can about you from the few letters my father has sent.”

Arya retuned the bow, “Likewise, Lord Archibald. And please do just call me Arya.”

The young man smiled, “Of course, Arya. But I must also ask you to please call me Archie. I may be a Lord, but the title is new and I do hate all the formalities. However, I cannot say the same for my wife.”

“Ah yes! How is that daughter-in-law of mine doing?” Ser Rednick asked his son.

Archie grabbed a hold of his fathers shoulder and lead him towards the seaside town. Arya was in step with them both as they made their way through the people.

“She is always well, father. She taking quite nicely to being a Lady, although she does not wish to do typical lady things.”

This tickled Arya’s ear. “What do you mean, Archie?”

“Well...she cannot sew to save her life. She hates the way some of the other ladies speak about common folk and she’d much rather spend her times in the stables than to gossip around in a circle. Although, now a days, she is tending to our young children.” Archie spoke freely.

“The stables?” Asked Arya. She was becoming more curious about this Lady Rednick.

“Aye. Her father was the former stable master before he passed. Her brother took up the job, but she does most of the work. Teaches our daughter how to properly care for the horses. Our son is only 4 moons, so all he is interested in is his next meal.” Archie says with a chuckle.

“And you do not mind her working in the stables? With her being a Lady?”

Archie shook his head, “No, not at all. But I wouldn’t be able to stop her if I tried. She gut me like a fish, that one. Her uncle is the swords master and taught her how to properly defend herself if necessary.”

Arya shook her head. She would have to meet this Lady Rednick, for she believed they could be fast friends.

They talked more on their walk through the town. Archie has mentioned that the bannermen of Storm’s End had taken a liking to their new Lord and that he truly cared for his people. Ser Rednick would tell his son about the adventures of the sea and how they encountered more than just islands.

Arya enjoyed seeing the father and son talk. They were close, she could tell and she enjoyed seeing the familiarity between the two. They may been apart for five years, but they conversed as if they had seen each other the day before. It was a familiarity that Arya could not wait to experience. She can only hope that is how it would be once she sees Gendry again. Old friends, picking up where they left off.

They had finally reached the gates of Storm’s End after walking for what seemed like ages. It hadn’t been a difficult trek, but for someone who had been on a boat for the last five years, climbing the hills and rocky terrain had winded Arya. She as glad when they finally saw the guards because that meant they had reached the top.

“Halt! State your business.” One guard said.

“Aye! It is I, Lord Rednick, Of House Rednick. Newly appointed bannerman of House Baratheon.” Archie spoke clearly. “I am here with guests of House Baratheon that have arrived from a long journey.”

The guard nodded to his fellow guardsman and they let the trio pass.

Inside the grounds of Storm’s End was just as busy as the harbor. People were running around doing their daily tasks. The kennel master was training new pups, the swords master was teaching new guards the art of sword play, and the ringing of metal against metal echoed from the forge. It was an all to familiar sound for Arya and she was anxious to see if he’d be in the smithy. Her feet seemed to have a mind of their own as they were guiding her into the direction of the smithy. But is he in there? Would the Lord of Storm’s End be along side his fellow smiths? She thought. But it would not matter, for a familiar voice broke her thoughts.

“Is that Arya Stark of Winterfell?”

Arya turned to the voice and immediately recognized the old smuggler.

“Aye it is, Ser Davos.” She smiled as she approached him.

She welcomed his embrace, taking in another memory of home.

Her and Ser Davos had not been close, but she would be eternally grateful for the old man, for without him she believed her brother would be dead.

Ser Davos released her from the embrace and she was able to truly see his aging face. Being an advisor to a lord had taken its toll on the smuggler, but he seemed to remain his eager old self.

“How have ye been, my dear?” He asked her.

“Well. I’ve just returned from my travels west and was hoping to see an old friend. Where is our Lord Gendry?” She asked with sudden realization that this was the first time she said his name aloud since she’s gotten back to Westeros.

“He’s out collecting monthly rents. He should be back before supper.” The old smuggler answered. “In the mean time, I’ll have rooms drawn for you lot.”

“No need for us, Ser Davos. My father will be staying with me. As you know, my keep is just a few minutes ride outside of Storm’s End. We will be leaving right after supper.” Archie said.

Ser Davos nodded. “Very well. Please Lady Arya, if you follow me, I can show you to your temporary chambers. Where are your belongings?”

”They are back on my ship at the harbor. I can send for them on the morrow.” Arya hesitated. “And Ser Davos, if it is alright with you, I’d like to explore the castle grounds. Make myself aquatinted.”

”I don’t see why not. I’ll have on of the maids fetch you once supper is ready.” With that Ser Davos turned and headed off to the armory.

Arya smiled and turned to the father/son duo.

“I had no idea you knew the Lord.” Ser Rednick said.

“Yes, he’s an old friend.” She let the old man know.

“Old friend, you say? Is that why you so eagerly agreed to come with me?” He questioned with knowing eyes.

“Mayhaps.” A small smile had creeped onto Arya’s face.

Archie hadn’t acknowledged the interaction between his father and Arya, for he had an eagerness of his own.

“Come father, let us go meet your grandchildren.” And with that, Archie dragged his father in the opposite direction.

Arya was left standing there in the middle of the castle grounds. She didn’t know which direction to go in first. On one side there was the armory, along with the training grounds and stable. The other side looked like it had housed the smithy and the kennels, while straight a head were the kitchens. Everything seemed surreal to Arya. She was actually here and couldn’t quite believe it.

When she was a little girl and her father told her the stories about Storm’s End she always thought that she would hate it but standing here in the middle of the grounds surrounded by hard working, dedicated people that were loyal to their Lord, she came to realize that maybe it wasn’t such a bad place after all, even if it was wet all the time.

Arya decided to take a left and head towards the training groups. It had been a while since she has sparred with anyone of decent skills. Perhaps she could find someone in the stormlands that could take her on. As she made her way to the training grounds a young girl of maybe three namedays ran into her.

The little girl had land on the ground with a thud and tears began to well in her eyes. Arya knelt beside her to make sure she was alright.

“I’m sorry little one, I’ve must have not seen you. Are you alright?” Arya asked. It felt strange to her, to be kind. She hasn’t had much interaction with children, so she wasn’t sure if she was being kind enough. Although this would be good practice she thought.

The little girl hesitated when she looked up at Arya, but nodded.

Arya smiled at her and helped the little girl on her feet. “Well that’s good. What’s your name? Maybe we can find your mother?”

The little girl sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “I no have a mother.”

Arya’s heart squeezed with sadness. She, of all people, knew what it felt like not to have a mother.

“Do you have a father?” Arya asked.

The little girl’s eyes lit up in excitement. Her mop brown curls bobbed up and down.

“Really? Where is he then?” She asked. Arya was trying to maintain her patience with the young lass, but trying to get answers out of a child her age was next to impossible.

The child looked around the courtyard frantically, but couldn’t quite place her stare. Perhaps she is to small to see, thought Arya. With one quick movement she lifted the girl into her arms. She had nestled perfectly onto Arya’s hip and held on to her for dear life. Arya began walking around the courtyard for the little girl to see. For several minutes the girl was silent, that is until they made their way to the castle entrance.

“There is papa.” The girl said as she pointed towards the castle gates.

Arya turned and her breath had caught in her throat. Coming into the castle on a brown horse was a man with the most beautiful ocean eyes that she had ever seen. Ocean eyes that she never thought she would see again.

But that is impossible. The little girl she had in her arms looked nothing like him. Her hair was a muddied brown and her eyes were an undeniable hazel.

“What is your name?” She asked the little girl in her arms.

She looked up at Arya and smiled, “I am Lyra Baratheon. My papa calls me the little Lady of Storm’s End.”

Arya’s mind begins to get fuzzy. She was trying to put pieces of an impossible puzzle together. Had she really expected him to wait all this time for her? And what about the child’s mother? Why did she not look like him? How could she have been so stupid? Of corse he would move on. She gave him reasons to. But that didn’t mean that it still didn’t hurt.

Arya looked up one more time, this time those ocean blue eyes were staring right at her.

Only one thing could come to his mind, “Arya?”

[reddielibrary]

Riding Lynda Carter

Prompt: young eddie falling over and breaking his leg in the barrens and richie has to find a way to get him out and to a doctor

Written by: Alexis | @quixoticquest

Word Count: 4288

*click title to read on AO3

For the last twenty years since he had moved away from Derry, Richie had left a majority of his childhood crap at his folks’ place. There wasn’t any real purpose for it in LA. But recently he had an encounter with his past again, and the people in it. Now just seemed like as good a time as any to revisit those old keepsakes, go through what he wanted to donate, or keep.

Keep in preparation for moving in with his boyfriend, that is.

“Yikes, this inflatable pool has got to go,” Eddie stated, gripping the great rubber monstrosity with both hands, shielded by yellow gloves.

“Aw, why?” Richie whined, for no other reason than it was fun to be contrary. “That’ll make a great centerpiece for our dining room table. Just gotta find one big enough.”

Eddie trashed the pool, eyeing his boyfriend the whole way into the black garbage bag. Richie just smiled and carried on flipping through a box of pictures from some party or another.

“Hey, what’s this?” There were only so many things that Richie expected to find in his parents’ garage besides his dad’s tools and rat poop. Imagine his surprise when Eddie dragged a big hunk of old wood out from behind Went’s workbench. A set of rusty, crusted runners hooked under the cobweb covered slab, which meant it could only be one thing.

“Oh, shit. That.” Richie rushed over, tripping over Eddie’s trash bag as he yanked the old sled away from him (and boy was it heavy!). “This we can burn. I mean there’s no way to throw it away responsibly and with global warming running rampant it won’t serve any purpose if we donate it.”

“Wait, I remember this.” Eddie gasped, eyes flashing brighter than Richie expected anyone else pushing forty. “Your Flexible Flyer, from ‘87. I can’t believe you didn’t take better care if it. Don’t you remember, Richie? Oh my gosh.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Richie grumbled, staring ruefully at the dreaded sled. That was one memory he wished not to keep.

***

Patience was not a virtue Richie Tozier possessed, but today, he was actually giving it the old college try. Watching Mrs. Kaspbrak fret and dote over her nylon-clad son, pulling buttons and zippers and strings until he looked like a bright red Michelin Man, was its own kind of torture. Richie couldn’t groan, couldn’t sigh. He couldn’t even laugh when Mrs. K  asked if Eddie had remembered his thermal underwear (though he would definitely tell Bill and Stanley later).

One wrong move, and he’d be sent off without Eddie for the rest of the day - maybe the rest of winter break. Who knew when Derry was going to get another perfect eight inches of tantalizing snow again? Probably on a school day in February for the jerk principal to keep class in session.

“I want you back before it gets too dark, you hear me?” Mrs. K commanded, while Richie struggled not to fidget in the doorway. And here he thought he could avoid all this consternation if his mom called and asked the night before. Like they were six and still needed to schedule playdates.

Eddie nodded, with a good deal of swishy noises between the hat, earmuffs, hood, and scarf all competing to swallow up his face.

After a drawn out goodbye session full of wet cheek kisses and smeared lipstick stains, they were off, stepping through the snowtracks Richie had already made on his way to the door.

“You don’t have to pee, do you?” he asked Eddie, when they were out of earshot. “I dunno if I can wait any longer if you do. You might have to take one for the team and shove a bottle up your pants.”

Eddie made a noise that sounded like a lot of hot air against wool, his mouth muffled by his scarf.

“Pardon?” Richie asked, cheesing.

Eddie growled, shoved his scarf down, and ripped off his hood. “I said shut up, Richie,” he snapped, wiping his mother’s lipstick off his cold-nipped cheeks.

Walking was a lot faster when they reached the street, where the snow had been scraped away the night before in preparation for what the perky blonde weather lady on channel five was calling the biggest snowfall of the season. It certainly seemed to be true, with the fluffy white stuff climbing up Richie’s legs to chill his shins. Perfect weather for playing (so long as Eddie’s mom decided to be reasonable).

“Check it out,” Richie gushed, shuffling backward to pull his brand spanking new Flexible Flyer out from the bushes where he had tucked it away. Had to hide it before he got to the Kaspbraks’. No way Mrs. K would let Eddie participate in any winter activity more strenuous than a snow angel, if she knew about it.

“Wow,” Eddie exclaimed, all bright-eyed excitement as he bent toward the sled to glide his mittens over the red runners and smooth, finished wood. “This is so awesome, Richie! Is it the newest model?”

“Yeah, Santa really pimped me out this year.” Richie grinned smugly from behind his glasses, and crossed his arms - best he was able in his stiff, puffy snow jacket.

“Did you name it?”

“Her , Eds, her. You know what Bill says. And yes, I did. Wanna know what?”

“Well, that’s kind of why I asked, stupid.”

“Her name is Lynda Carter,” Richie proclaimed, patting the flat seat of the Flexible Flyer with his gloved hand, “because she’s fast, and strong, and the minute I saw her I knew I wanted to ride her all day long.”

Eddie must not have been a fan of Wonder Woman, because he levelled a dry glare at Richie. “Gross.”

“Get your own sled if you don’t like it, Eds.”

“I can’t!”

Eager to put Eddie’s house far behind them, Richie grabbed the rope on Lynda Carter and started off on their winter trek, Eddie in tow. The number one spot for sledding in Derry was behind the library, where the slope was flat and steep and teeming with every stupid idiot from school, pushing into one another and taking forever to get back up to slide down again. With that many people, the snow was bound to get worn through too.

“The library’s in the other direction, Richie,” Eddie pointed out, shuffling along behind Lynda.

“I know,” Richie chirped. Their walk was pretty slow-going, but there wasn’t much he could do dragging a sled with almost a foot of snow on the ground.

Eddie made a flabbergasted noise that sounded like his voice had been caught in the back of his throat. “Then where are we going?”

“You’ll see!”

It didn’t take very long to see. Richie was still trying to master the art of anticipation, but one thing he did know was that if he told Eddie where they were headed, he ran the risk of derailing his whole operation. Sometimes Eddie could be just as persnickety as his own mother.

In no time, toes chilled through boots and two layers of socks, they arrived at the road up to the Kissing Bridge. Richie waited like a good little boy for a car to pass before he crossed the street, but Eddie yanked him back by his collar and nearly choked the life out of him.

“The Barrens?” Eddie demanded, while Richie lamented (not even a hundred feet away from their glorious destination!). “You wanna sled in the Barrens? It’s all trees, Richie. You’ll break your sled.”

“Lynda,” Richie whined. “And I can steer clear of trees! Don’t you have any faith in me, Eds?”

When Eddie stared him down silently for too long, Richie waved his arms and relented.

“Okay fine, we can go to the dumb old library.”

“Good,” Eddie stated, grinding his heel into the snow to turn around.

“Where everyone else is gonna be,” Richie went on.

“Probably!”

“Bumping into each other, hogging the slope.”

“Oh well!”

“Waiting like sitting ducks for when Henry and his chuckleheads come and ruin everything.”

All Eddie’s forward momentum ceased. Bingo.

“I think we could take ‘em though,” Richie went on, patting his scrawny bicep through his coat. “A little fisticuffs never hurt nobody - well, just so long as you can dodge some punches, otherwise your mom’s gonna have a hissy-”

“Just cross the street already!” Eddie shoved both hands into Richie’s back, and he grinned triumphantly toward the heavens as they headed to the Barrens.

The slanted plane of land leading down into the trees was a lot steeper than Richie remembered from the summer. Maybe it evened out toward the bottom, he wondered. Not all the snow would stick to the top of the slope, and fell to the end of it, to create a bigger cushion, all because of gravity. That was just basic physics, after all.

“How ‘bout here?” Richie asked, stopping after they’d walked on for a few minutes. “Looks pretty clear to me.”

“Richie, there’s like seven trees all down that direction,” Eddie said, motioning toward the pristine blanket of snow laid before them - or it would have been pristine, if not for the spindly trunks shooting into the sky.

“Uh, I count five,” Richie retorted, hauling Lynda over the bridge barrier. “And I told you, I can steer past them. All I have to do is lean a little. It’s barely steering.”

If Eddie meant to say something back, he floundered, helpless while Richie went about settling Lynda where she wouldn’t slip too soon, and mounting with the rope in his hand. When Eddie didn’t come sit his stupid butt down immediately after, Richie waved him over.

“I don’t know about this, Richie.”

“Come on, Eds! What are you, a pussy?”

Eddie’s eyes flared indignantly. Richie was doing a damn good job with his kicks in the right direction today.

“I am not a pussy.” Eddie dropped onto Lynda with a creak of wood.

“You can put your arms around my waist if you want,” Richie gushed.

“Just shut up and push off!”

Richie did just that. Lynda and her load slid through the snow with amazing agility, gaining speed as the incline disappeared behind them. Richie yanked on the string and wrenched his body around the thick trees scattered across the hillside, usually in the nick of time, to the tune of Eddie’s shrieking. Richie matched him in volume, only he was laughing instead.

They came to a gradual stop at the bottom of the slope, grinding into the snow-covered field that banked off into the stream where the sewers emptied out. A couple more feet and they might have been skidding across the frozen, rocky water.

Red-faced and panting, mostly from shouting their lungs out, the two of them climbed off Lynda, just a little eager for a surface that didn’t move and rumble beneath them. Richie grabbed onto the rope again, while his stomach let loose their butterflies, and his joints relaxed from being clenched so hard.

“See? That wasn’t so bad!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.

Eddie wasn’t hyperventilating, or curled up on his side in the snow - a good sign. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said, while Richie did his best to look mock offended. “You steered alright, Richie. If we do it from that spot every time we should be good.”

“See? And you doubted me.” More smug than he deserved to be, Richie slung an arm around Eddie’s neck, nearly tripping him. They hauled Lynda back up the slope, and did it all over again.

“Should we have a philosophical debate, like Calvin and Hobbes?” Richie called over his shoulder as they tipped off their starting point.

“I dunno if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Well, for starters,” Eddie went on as they whizzed through the trees, “what do you know about philosophy?”

“Lots!”

“Well I don’t.”

“Then I’ll teach you, and that’ll be the debate.”

“Second, you don’t want to be like Calvin and Hobbes when they sled, Richie. You know at the end of every comic, Calvin and Hobbes start arguing, fly through the air and-”

A thick crack sent the Flexible Flyer - well, flying - arcing over a shallow rock ledge Richie had managed to avoided before. The two of them lost their grip far too easily, airborne for a half a second that felt so much longer. Long enough for Richie to register his dad would kill him if he broke Lynda.

The impact threw him flat into the snow, harsh and hard, the icy powder biting into his face as his frames dug into his skin. The wind got knocked out of Richie for a moment, and he squirmed, choking, until there was air in his lungs again, and he could sit up without dying.

If it wasn’t Lynda, then he was definitely toast for his specs, he decided, when he pulled them off his face to find thin cracks splintering the glass. Richie whined, more bummed out than sore, really, and lumbered to his feet to survey the damage on his beloved sled.

“Ow ow ow.”

Pausing in his literal tracks, Reddie shuffled in the snow to find Eddie hunched over in on himself. He was breathing hard, tilting back, and forth.

“Asthma?” Richie asked, wide-eyed as a new panic set in.

Eddie shook his head, eyes screwed shut. “I landed funny on a tree root. Over there. I think I sprained my knee.”

“Lemme see.” Richie knelt down beside him, hovering hesitantly. Eventually he worked up the nerve to grab Eddie’s leg with his gloved hand - only to reel back, when Eddie howled louder than he’d ever heard before.

“That hurts!” Eddie snapped, tears dotted along his eyelashes.

“Holy shit,” Richie breathed, wary. “For real, Eds?”

“You think I’m making it up?”

“Well you’ve freaked out about smaller stuff!”

“I’m freaking out because it hurts so bad!” Eddie swore, mouth twisting up on itself as he fingered his knee. He whimpered, a small, scared sound. Richie had never heard anything like it before.

“Maybe we should take you to the doctor,” he said, forcing a single logical thought into his head.

“No!” Eddie’s head flew up, eyes wide. “No, I hate the doctor. They’re just going to call my mom and she’s gonna pitch a fit, and I won’t be able to hang out with you guys ever again! If we go to the pharmacy we can get stuff to make a splint. I can hide it under my pants and pretend I fell at home, later.”

“I don’t have any money, though!”

“Neither do I!”

“Then why would you suggest the pharmacy?!”

Richie thought long and hard, jarred by every pained noise that left Eddie’s mouth. No Mrs. K, no doctor, no pharmacy. Where the hell were they supposed to go?

A new idea dawned on Richie, and he gasped. “Wait, we could go to my parents’ house. They know how shitty your mom is, they’ll know what to do.”

Eddie stared at Richie, suspicion written across his distraught face. “You think so?”

“Yeah, my dad could probably figure something out. He’s a doctor.”

“He’s a dentist, Richie.”

“Everyone’s a critic, ain’t they?” Glancing around, Richie eventually spotted Lynda through his broken glasses, and went to retrieve her where she had capsized. Wasn’t broken, thankfully - but that was the least of his worries.

“I can pull you out on the sled,” he explained, situating her rightside up, before returning to Eddie, beckoning with his hands. “Come on. You can prop your leg up.” The nerves must have been getting to Richie, because he finished off with his best cowboy. “Don’t you worry, little lady, doc’s gon’ be ‘round to patch you up real soon.”

Eddie stared glumly, only to wince and his as he moved to get on the sled a second later. Richie’s guiding arms could only help so much. Each noise was like hot and cold, in regard to how much pain was being inflicted. A small breath was cold, and screaming OW OW OW was hot hot hot.

They eventually got Eddie set up with his leg propped in front of him, the other tucked under his butt. Like that, there wasn’t any room for Richie, but he had to pull anyway.

“Hold on tight,” he chirped, heaving the flimsy rope to drag Eddie, and Lynda, out of the Barrens.

There was no reasonable way to leave the way they came, which meant they had to take the long way out, following the more gradual incline of the land, past the sewer. Hauling over snow-laden grasses, rumbling across stones embedded in the ground, Richie really put his arms to work. He thought just Lynda had been bad - add a hundred pounds of injured pipsqueak, and it was downright torture. His knuckles ached in their grip, and the muscles in his arms seared. But hey - at least his knees were in tip-top shape.

“What did I tell you?” he mentioned at some point, huffing for breath as his heart worked itself into a tizzy behind his ribcage. Now that D in gym class made perfect sense. “We didn’t hit a tree, did we?”

Eddie’s pained groan was answer enough. Eventually they got themselves up and out of the Barrens, back into Derry proper, where the path was even and flat. Still, there was a whole neighborhood to traverse before they reached Richie’s house.

“You gotta admit, it was pretty fun, right Eds?” Richie asked hopefully. The silence behind him was deafening. All he could ever hope for, at any point in his life, was a reaction. Struggled noises didn’t really fit the bill. “And someday, we’ll laugh about this. How you hurt your knee riding Lynda Carter.”

“I’m not laughing about it now,” Eddie grit out.

“Well, we could laugh about something else.”

“No jokes. My stomach hurts.”

“Jeez, your knee hurts, your stomach hurts, there’s always something with you, isn’t there?”

Wondering, maybe for the first time, if he had gone to far, Richie decided he was better off shutting up - also for the first time.

They finally came upon the Tozier house, and Richie picked up the pace for the home stretch, boots grinding into the asphalt road as he hauled ass to his own front lawn. He went up the driveway, and “parked” Lynda in the yard (which Mom had said not to do, but desperate times and all that). Eddie grunted and grimaced all the way up, even with Richie taking one arm over his shoulder and his own hand around Eddie’s waist, so he could limp his way to the front door.

Before they could even make an attempt at the porch steps, though, the door flew open. Richie’s mom stood there in her thick Christmas sweater, a rag from some abandoned chore in her hand.

It didn’t take much to assess the situation, with Eddie propped up on Richie, his leg suspended in front of him.

“Richard, what did you do?”

“Eddie hurt his leg!” It’s not my fault rose to the tip of Richie’s tongue, but he swallowed it back. He wasn’t a hundred percent on that statement yet. He was pretty sure the anxious feeling rattling around in his skull was some form of guilt anyway.

Mrs. Tozier helped Eddie inside, over to the couch in the parlor no one was supposed to go in unless guests were over. Without any hesitation, with what Richie could only call Mom Mode fully activated, she took his boots off and rolled the leg of his snow pants up as gingerly and carefully as possible.

Richie’s eyes flared wide, his pulse picking up at the sight of the bulbous purple bruise spread across Eddie’s knee. He flicked his gaze into the corner of the room, where everything was much less grotesque.

“Oh no,” Mrs. Tozier murmured, trying not to touch Eddie’s knee too much. The red spread across his freckled face had little to do with the snow now, Richie figured, but Eddie set his jaw all the same.

“I think it’s broken. We’ll have to call your mom, Eddie. She can drive you to the hospital.”

“What? No!” Richie and Eddie said - almost in unison.

Mrs. Tozier gave each of them a look (the one for her son slightly more scathing). “We can’t do anything here, Richie. Eddie, you need a doctor. You need to get an X-ray, and probably some kind of cast.”

“Then what if we take him to the doctor?” Richie asked.

“They would still have to call Mrs. Kasprak,” his mom answered, almost exasperated. “And we don’t need to be at the hospital right now. I’m sorry, Richie. Eddie is his mother’s responsibility, not ours.”

She moved to leave, only for Richie to fling himself at her, clutching around her waist.

“You can’t do that, Mom! Mrs. K is gonna ruin his life! He’s going to be stuck with her big fat ass all winter break and not be allowed to leave the house!”

“Richard! Language!”

“It’s fine, Richie.”

Who would have thought it would be Eddie to stop the commotion. Richie paused, still latched onto his mom like a baby koala.

He expected Eddie to look so small and sad from the couch, what with the latest turn of events, but the opposite was true. He sat up, leg out, expression hard. If his knee weren’t busted, Richie thought he might shoot up and march right over.

“I gotta go to the doctor with my mom, that’s all there is too it.” Eddie huffed, fingers fiddling in his lap. “We tried, but if my leg is broken then I can’t really hide it. Thanks for getting me out of the Barrens, though. You really helped me out there.”

“The Barrens?” Mrs. Tozier demanded. “You brought your sled to the Barrens? What’s wrong with you, look what happened! Not to mention how much we paid for it, not for you to go crashing into things!”

“It was my idea, Mrs. Tozier,” Eddie chimed in, lying as easily as he would to his own mother. “I told Richie we should go play in the Barrens. It’s always so crowded behind the library. I thought it would be more fun.”

Richie stared at Eddie in disbelief. Eddie stared back, confident, despite the pain that twitched on his face.

Behind them, Mrs. Tozier sighed. “We’ll talk about this later, Richie. Right now, I’m going to call Eddie’s mom.”

She slipped right out of his grasp, striding away, into the kitchen. Richie stood there defeated. He hadn’t felt sorrier in his entire life.

Mrs. Kaspbrak came soon enough, spittle flying as she shrieked. Not just at Richie, but at his mom, as Eddie waited by, face turned away. She took him away, far away, to the hospital - and after that, home. His piss poor excuse for a home, where he stayed until school was back in session. Richie got grounded for playing in the Barrens for about the same amount of time.

He never rode Lynda Carter again.

***

“I felt so fucking betrayed by my mom that day,” Richie explained, shaking his head, laughing when the memory took a somber turn he had not been prepared for. “I couldn’t believe she did that. But I guess, in the end, I sorta betrayed you more, huh?”

“What?” Eddie asked, face twisting up.

“I delivered you into the hands of the enemy! I told you you wouldn’t have to go to the doctor or your mom and look what I did. I was a real snot-nosed brat.” Richie stared at the sled - Lynda - accusingly. As if she had made the decision to go play in a dangerous place.

Suddenly, Richie’s gaze was jarred by Eddie’s hands, forcing their eyes to meet.

“Don’t be stupid, Rich. We were kids.” His gaze turned a little soft. “I broke my knee, we couldn’t just avoid the hospital, as much as we wanted to back then. It was a mistake, yeah, and definitely your fault-”

“Thanks,” Richie said, voice muffled by the squish of his cheeks as he stooped down in front of Eddie.

“But I still agreed to it. And I turned out okay.”

“But your mom. I just wish there was something me or my parents could have done-”

“There wasn’t.” Eddie shook his head. “We were kids, we were at the mercy of everything. We didn’t have control over anything except where we went to fucking sled. And I was my mom’s responsibility, even if she was shitty about it. Not yours, or your moms.”

“Funny,” Richie mumbled. “My mom said something like that, I think.”

“Probably because she was an adult for way longer than you.”

“You callin’ my mama old?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, and tilted forward. Their lips met, easing Richie’s troubled mind. His boyfriend was right, anyway - there was little they could have done back then. You couldn’t exactly call CPS on a mom keeping her son home about his broken leg.

“Besides,” Eddie said when they parted. “Mom’s in a retirement community, and it’s just you and me, now. Together forever.”

Richie gasped, delighted. “You’re right! That means you’re my responsibility.”

Eddie frowned. “That’s not what I-”

“Worry not!” Setting Lynda down, Richie clutched his arms around Eddie and swooped him into a dip, his boyfriend yelling all the while. “I will protect you with my life, fair sir! The evil, wretched, corpulent Sonia-beast can never touch us again!”

Richie pulled Eddie in for a sweet, enveloping kiss, the annoyed noises eventually dying down until there was nothing but soft lips, and an eased conscience.

Hell. Maybe one day, Lynda Carter would ride again.

[randombtsprincessa]

Asylum || 6

Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Chapter:  01  02  03  04  05

Warning in-Chapter: Abusive Parents, Attempted Suicide, Panic Attack

We sat on the brightly colored carpet of Dr. Sihyuk’s office, while he himself sat on his office swivel chair, turning to talk to all of us in turn.

It was one of our group sessions, where we discussed how being around the people sitting in that room had affected us in between our sessions. It would’ve seemed pretentious and out of sorts but the small jokes the good doctor cracked and the various antics my friends belted out made it funnier and more bearable than a normal session usually was.

I was sitting between Taehyung and Namjoon as the doctor started with Yoongi.

He seemed aloof at first, his tone low and perpetually sassy even as he recounted an incident with Hoseok where he danced and compelled Yoongi to actually sing.

Hoseok was grinning, heart smile aimed cheekily at the older man as Dr. Sihyuk asked him if it made him feel a little more comfortable around music and if he was feeling a little less resentful towards the act.

Yoongi’s ears burned red as he scoffed under his breath.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, avoiding our gazes as all of our smiles faltered. “But I’m getting there,” he said finally, looking up and fixing his eyes on the therapist.

Hoseok let out a small relieved breath as Sihyuk nodded, checking something on his clipboard.

“You will get there, Yoongi. We all want first class tickets when you make it back big and glorious in the industry, after all.” He soothed.

I saw Yoongi look back down but a shadow of a wistful smile crossed his face, only to vanish when I blinked as the attention went to the next person.

Hoseok’s talk was more about how he was feeling physically better ever since he had started to get the handle of his body better. The effects of the drugs had made him sluggish, slow, and unable to cope with beats that helped him move.

The slow rehabilitation of his own senses was giving him his control back, the mind over his body the first thing he was aiming for.

He raised his hands as if to show a move to us but then smile, looking up at us. “I’ll just give you all a proper show when we get out of here.” he said, his sunshine personality breaking out despite talking about his darker times.

Taehyung and Jimin were still much better, able to pull smiles from our faces as Tae grumbled about the food fight he’d lost the other day to me and Jimin teaming up. I focused on Jimin again, trying to pick out emotions between his features as he murmured about hoping that he’d be able to join us outside and not succumb to his demons again.

His voice was melodious, eyes soft while his willowy face which was still ashy from pills did nothing to hide the fact that he was in pain. My chest ached for him, wanting nothing more but to give him a tight hug so I could put his broken pieces together.

Namjoon reached out, patting his back before Sihyuk turned his attention to him.

“Namjoon, what would you like to share?” he asked.

“Oh,” he started, looking around us all before giving our therapist a helpless glance. “My parents are coming to visit today.” He mumbled.

The air was suddenly tense.

There were things that were forbidden to mention in our circle.

Yoongi’s music, Hoseok’s vulnerability for substance abuse, Namjoon’s parents, Tae’s step dad, Jimin’s reason for being here and for me…Jungkook, they were topics which we handled with great care. It was a mark of how close we’d gotten and the extent of our healing that we were in one room talking about things that had rendered us so weak.

Namjoon’s parents being here was almost always a cause for concern.

I had only seen them once, in a picture album Namjoon had shown us. It was less of a family album than more of a show of opulence. His parents were classy, polished people with strict standards and no mind for incompetence or weak mindedness.

That’s what they hadn’t wanted in a son and that’s what they had gotten in Namjoon.

His affinity towards the arts had made his business leaning parents disgusted and that in turn made Namjoon determined to escape, no matter how many he times he was recognized and dumped back to his parents for their money.

Sending him here had been the ultimate way to cut him off from music but the influence Yoongi and Namjoon had on each other definitely proved that they had failed.

If they saw that their son wasn’t willing to bend to their will, it wouldn’t end well for him.

Sihyuk fixed Namjoon with his beady eyes, trying to get a read on him and if he was comfortable enough to face his parents. Even I reached out a hand to him, feeling his take it, twining our fingers.

It was a familiar action, one that gave us both a feeling of peace of being able to provide someone close to us a sense of security.

He squeezed my fingers once before letting it go and shot me a smile before looking at the doctor, who was eyeing him curiously.

“I’ll meet them.”

“I’ll meet them.”

I looked up from my book to see Jungkook standing in the doorway, looking bedraggled and uncertain. I frowned, putting the book down and scooting to the edge of his spacious couch. It was the norm for me to spend almost all my time in Jungkook’s own apartment rather than at my own place. it helped us both because we could have our own privacy and he had someone to look out for him when he got lost in his own world, be it for gaming or his music.

For the last week, he’d been working on a particular album that he said would give him a break if he managed to have it heard at one of the music houses in the city. He’d been at it nonstop and perpetually stressed. It didn’t help that the directors had asked him to meet up with them for a preliminary listening. No, he wanted to impress in the usual Jeon Jungkook style. He refused to hand over anything other than a complete album.

It had gotten so bad that I’d had to move in until further notice just to take care of him, taking his main bedroom while he stayed cooped up in the camp bed he had in his office.

“You’re doing me the favor, so it’s obvious you need to take the bed. I’ll just be in my office.” He’d said but I’d checked in on him too many times to know he wasn’t actually using the bed. He’d propped it against the wall and was snoring his head off at his desk, one arm slung over his head and the other hanging off the arm of his chair.

“Kookie,” I’d whined, startling him awake as he spat out a jumbled sentence of cognition. I’d wrapped an arm around his waist, hoisting his half asleep and exhausted frame up and tugging him to his warm and comfortable bed, dumping him into the fleecy mattress.

He’d bounced on it unceremoniously, all his bulk weighed down as I’d tucked him in before getting in behind him myself, fishing out a throw blanket to wrap around myself.

Of course, in the morning, I’d found myself sharing the same blanket as him, tree trunk arms wrapped around me with his head tucked in my back as he drooled.

I’d told him to handle in the album that day, watching his face fall immediately at the idea.

“I have it, Y/N. it’s almost done.” He whispered as he sat guiltily in his bed, a tray of coffee and sandwiches in his lap as I glared severely.

“You’re running yourself down, Jungkook. You’re not sleeping, you’re not eating and if I have to lug your big butt to bed again I swear to god.” I began and he rolled his eyes. “I do not have a big butt.” He mumbled under his bed, making me smack his arm.

“Just…you’re exhausted, Kook. Give them the damn tracks. You don’t have to work yourself to the bone.” I whispered. He’d chewed on the sandwiches, quietly; no indication if he’d even heard me.

Now though, Jungkook stood nervously in front of me, hands curving around each other as he bit his full bottom lip and eyed me.

“That’s great, Kook. Did they give you a time?” I asked.

“Tomorrow noon, I have to give them the tracks and they’ll listen to them and tell me how I did.” He said.

“Fantastic, I’ll drive you.” I said.

“No, no, you don’t have to do that. I’ve worn you out too, you should just sleep and I’ll bring take out back on my way.” He said.

“Don’t be dumb. Of course I’m coming with you. You’ll likely drink too much coffee and run up your car or something.” I said, smiling and holding my hands out to him to take.

He smiled back before his eyes glittered.

“Do you want to hear them?” he asked, a trickle of excitement seeping in his tone.

“Lead the way, maestro.”

“So, Y/N, I saw you carrying your diary around…are you finding it easier to talk about…things?” he asked.

“Um, yeah…I think I am. I mean, I still remember him, of him…” I stopped, swallowing and Jungkook’s dark floppy hair, bunny smile and twitching nose filled my vision.

“There are so many things that remind me of him,” I whispered. I smiled and looked at my small knit group. “They make it easier.” I said.

I caught Namjoon glance down into his hands with a soft smile tugging on his lips as Taehyung flopped dramatically in my lap.

“We’re here for you, Y/N. we’re your own new best friend.” He sighed before mimicking passing out.

Even Yoongi gave me a supportive smile as he smacked Taehyung’s feet.

Dr. Sihyuk soon excused Namjoon to go his meeting with his parents while Taehyung and Yoongi left to go sit in the common room, their sessions over for the day. Hoseok was called for a private substance abuse therapist and with a bland smile; he left too, leaving Jimin and me to sit awkwardly in front of Dr. Sihyuk.

“Do you have anything scheduled for today?” he asked.

Both of us shook our heads.

“Good, I wanted to talk to the two of you alone for a while. Jimin if you would wait in the office for a minute?” he said and Jimin dutifully stood up, passing through the room like a shadow. “So, Y/N is there anything that you want to discuss first?” he asked, prodding gently.

I glanced at the way Jimin had gone once before looking down.

“Um, I don’t know what you mean. I mean, I’m feeling better.” I mumbled. He leant forward.

“I see, would you say that this has something to do with your group? I know that people in your situation tend to…shift feelings of depending onto others when a particular source of comfort is…hmm, absent.” He settled for the term with a bite of his lip.

I shrugged.

“I guess I do see…Jungkook – in them. That’s why I got so close to them so fast, you know. I feel like there is a part of him in all of them. Yoongi’s protectiveness, Hoseok’s jokes, Jimin’s quietness, Taehyung’s playfulness and Namjoon’s care…these are all things that Jungkook had. They might not be him exactly but I do like them for the people they are.” I insisted.

Dr. Sihyuk smiled.

“Well at least you admit it…it will be easier for you once you leave here. I am hoping that when you do, so will the other boys but if they don’t…” he sighed and suddenly it seemed as if he’d aged.

“They don’t deserve to be cooped up here,” he mumbled before clearing his throat.

“I have been working with them for a while now and I am happy that they can leave whenever they want to but the problem of finding people you can depend on is exactly that – you start being dependent on that person.”

I nodded slowly, catching his drift and he nodded, straightening up.

“I think that will be all. Please send Jimin in,” he said and I got up hurriedly, rushing out to find Jimin already standing up, a small smile playing on his face.

“That bad, huh?” he asked.

“No, it was ok. Go on, I’ll wait here for you.” I said.

“You don’t have to -,”

“Go Jiminie.” I shoved him inside and closed the door before leaning next to the door to wait.

I closed my eyes and leant my head back against the wall to think back on what Dr. Sihyuk had told me about depending on others for your own happiness. Was that what was wrong with me? I had been too dependent on Jungkook but when he was gone…I had no one to make me feel happy? I scoffed in bitterness.

Jungkook was my best friend. Of course, he made me happy. Losing had caused half of my heart to wither away and turn to dust. I was still not accepting of the fact that I was never going to see him smile again, except for maybe pictures, I would never hear him sing for me, play for me, give me piggybacks, go for ice cream, dance, nothing…it was all gone.

I didn’t realize that Jimin was already done with his session until I heard the door open and he slipped out, his normally chalky expression if possible even softer and sadder before he blinked big dark eyes – so reminiscent of Jungkook at me.

“You’re crying,” he whispered.

I brushed my hand over my eyes, surprised to see that indeed, small trickles of wetness had leaked out the corners of my eyes, travelling down to my cheeks. I smiled reassuringly at the boy.

“It’s nothing, I was just thinking of some things.” I said.

He stood there, undecided before nodding, head ducking down to hide his own eyes and I frowned when I saw his hands quivering as if he wanted to scratch at something. He turned and began to walk off and I hurried after him.

“Jimin…” I reached forward to grasp at his hand and he jolted, coming to a pause as if he’d just realized I was with him. “Are you ok?” I asked.

Before he could stutter out a response, a door flung open and a woman strutted out, her head held high and fingers clutching at her purse in a way that screamed that she didn’t belong here.

We paused as the woman sniffed, her aquiline nose twitching as if she smelt something disgusting and turned to the man who had followed her out, clearly her husband as he was wearing a matching suit to her dress, his own more somber expression cast down.

“I don’t know what to do with you, I really don’t.” she said, loud voice echoing down to where Jimin and I stood as I saw horrified, Namjoon exiting the room as well. He was wearing his glasses again but they looked too big on his pinched face as he slumped in on his own body, trying to appear as small as he could in front of the stare of his parents.

“We did everything for you. Birthed you, fed you, warmed you and gave you everything you could ever need, or ask for and what do we get in return? You’re always running from us? Or the fact that You picking that damn tinkling on that piano and computer thing than work…? What are you going to gain in life Namjoon? We thought sending you here was going to straighten you out but if it’s not then just…just stay here!” the woman snapped at her son, heels clacking as she backed away, scorn on her face from her only son as her husband tried to shush her, already having spotted us gazing at them wide eyed.

Even Namjoon caught us standing there, eyes landing on his father to see if he’d defend his son but when nothing came from the man he sniffled. Immediately his mother scoffed. “Oh please, stop with your crocodile tears Namjoon, you’re a grown man for god’s sake.” She spat before turning away from both men, walking away before she looked up and saw us.

Her eyes trailed over us, disdainful before she rolled her eyes at our less than pearly appearances, shoving between us. I saw Namjoon’s father shake his head at something Namjoon mumbled and then he followed his wife, not even looking at us.

There was silence for a while.

“Hyung,” Jimin called but by the time I looked around, Namjoon was already gone.

The sky soon darkened with the onset of dusk, small twinkles of stars lighting the broad deep blue expanse, visible through the minimum amount of light pollution.

Hoseok, who’d returned from his session looking less than bubbly walked along side me as we took a late walk around the garden, following a path of lantern like light posts along the walkway. His neck was tilted down; face pensive as I told him about what Jimin and I had witnessed in the afternoon.

“You should’ve seen his face, Hobi. He looked like he was crying.” I muttered.

“Namjoon always cries when it comes to his parents…and I don’t blame him. If they were my family I’d cry too…or run away from home.” He said, eyes fixed on his shoes.

“How can parents be so cruel to their own son?”

“I guess it’s about the control. Some people are like that. They like having control over their surroundings; be it people or just things. They start viewing people as things too. Especially if they’re their own kids…they see it as some sort of morbid ownership.”

“It’s sickening.”

“That’s one word for it.” Hoseok said.

He stopped under one light before sighing, a hand coming up to rub against his haggard face. “It’s getting late. You should get inside.” He said.

I nodded, starting to walk back when I looked around at him. “What about you?” I asked.

He started, looking at me guiltily. “I’ll be right there. I just need…I’ll take one more round. Now go or else Yoongi will come looking for you.” he said, a wry smile splitting his face and I chuckled, imagining Yoongi’s small face, reddening with outrage as he snarled about having been the one to get scolded if his group members went out of line.

“See you inside?” I asked finally.

He nodded before shoving his hands back in his pockets, walking off again as I retreated my steps.

Just as Hoseok had said, Yoongi was the only one up in the common room, his feet tapping out a beat as he waited for us to come back.

“Well, one of you is back.” he said, eyes rolling and I smiled. “Yeah, sorry, did the others go to bed already?” I asked. He nodded, stretching his arms over his head.

“I had to kick Taehyung out because he ‘wanted to wait for Hobi Hyung’” he imitated the younger boy. “Where is he?” he asked.

“Taking one more round…I think he needs to clear his head.” I mused. There was a pause as Yoongi lowered his hooded eyes.

“I can understand. Anyway, the head matron told me to tell you to get cleaned up and go to bed as soon as you came in. you better go before she comes to check on you like your grandmother.” He said.

I nodded, a yawn escaping me which had Yoongi smirking but I didn’t give him the satisfaction of retaliating before I was exiting the room, going to retrieve my toiletries and going to the communal sink room to get ready for bed.

As I inspected my bare face in the mirror, brush rotating mechanically in my mouth I thought about the events of the day. Namjoon’s crumpled face, Jimin’s feverish hands, Hoseok’s exhausted form…they all swirled in my brain.

I’m hoping they can live their lives better.

I recalled wishing that for them once to Dr. Sihyuk and sighed, switching off the lights to go to bed.

It wasn’t until I was back in my own bed till I realized I’d left my toiletries on the sink counter. I groaned, face burying into the pillow as I contemplated going for them. If I didn’t, I might get a scolding or have them stolen and I didn’t have any new ones.

I huffed in annoyance at myself, putting on slippers and slipping out of my room, glancing around to see if any of the patrollers were around. The coast being clear, I quickly began to tip toe towards the washroom.

The sterile, white tiles froze the under of my feet as I tried to sneak into the bathroom. The lights were on still, the sounds of a few dripping taps echoing around me as I looked at the sink I’d used to see if my small bag of bathroom supplies was still there.

Thankfully, the clear baggie was still on the counter where I’d left it, my toothbrush visible through the gap between the zippers.

Moving quickly to it, I grasped the sling handle around it, slipping it over my wrist as I swung it towards me in relief. Now I wouldn’t be scolded or have to go ask the head nurse for a new set of toilet things.

The haze of worry over my belongings gone, I stopped, focus shifting on to other things…like why the light was on and why I could hear a steady stream of water from one of the inside bathing areas.

I hesitated, my bare toes curling in apprehension as I contemplated if I should be inching forward to investigate why someone had kept a tap running. It was too late for someone to take a bath or clean.

Slow trickles of fear teased at the edge of my mind as I reached the partition. Taking a deep breath, I took a quick peak around the corner.

The look was too quick to see anything properly but I saw the small tiled bathtub in one of the section overflowing, a steady flow of water gushing out of the copper tap on it head. Sighing, I walked in and then stopped, eyes widening in horror and shock when I caught what I’d missed earlier.

Feet hung from the edge of the tub, a body completely submerged in the depths of the waters as the water continued to hit the surface, distorting the view of the face but I already knew who it was.

“Jimin!” I screamed, panic erupting from my throat as I lunged forward, slipping on the water a little as I hurriedly shut off the water, my shaky fingers spinning the tight tap the other way as the jet of water slowed the stopped, letting me see my friend.

Jimin’s eyes were closed, head resting against the floor of the bath tub as his hands lay peacefully on his stomach as if he hadn’t even tried to fight for breath. His mouth was parted a little, small bubbles coming out from them as the remaining air in his lungs escaped him. “No, no, no,” I muttered feverishly, dunking my arms in to try and pull out the boy.

It wasn’t easy. Jimin’s body weighed down; with the way I could find no traction in raising him up to break him away from the water’s surface.

“Help! Please! Someone help us!” I screamed over my shoulder as loudly as I could, praying someone – anyone – could hear me.

Returning my attention to Jimin I gave a mighty tug to his head, finally managing to tug his head over the water level, enough to get his mouth and nose out so he could breathe.

If he can even breathe

I snapped out of the terrifying thought as I entered the tub myself, the freezing water chilling me to my bones as I leant him against me trying to hold him up while I tried to settle his feet into the tub so I could pull him up.

“Jimin, Jimin, come on, please, breathe,” I shouted, wrapping my body around his frozen one, rubbing at his wrist to get blood circulation going.

“Oh my god, please help!” I screamed one more time before I heard the slapping of bare feet running across the tiles.

The next moment, Namjoon was crashing around the corner, glasses askew on the edge of his nose; eyes puffy and mouth wide open as he stared at the scene before him.

“Y/N, what the fuck!” He yelled, the expletive falling out of his lips when he saw the younger boy cradled against me.

“Help, Namjoon, help!” I said, desperately and Namjoon rushed forward, his own arms dunking deep into the water. His stronger arms grasped Jimin’s legs and he swiftly lifted him out of the tub, laying him out against the side, hands coming back to pull me out as we crashed next to the passed out boy.

“Is…he…?” Namjoon stuttered.

I bent my head to clutch Jimin’s face close to mine. “I don’t know…I don’t know, get someone! We need an ambulance!” I shook the boy even as Namjoon stood there, shivering and gaping.

“Go!” I yelled and he startled to life, falling back before he too was shouting out for help as he ran out.

I clung to Jimin as I shook, hot tears springing to my eyes.

“No, please, not you, not you too!” I whispered against Jimin’s cold cheek as I cried against him.

“Y/N, they’re calling an ambulance, Dr. Sihyuk and the head nurse are coming. Yoongi told no one to come in…hey, are you alright?”

I felt hands grip my shoulders before I was being yanked to the side but I stayed put, unable to unwrap myself from around Jimin. “Hey, let him go, we need to get him on his back.” I heard from far away as another, much more stronger arm finally managed to pull me away.

I heard a raspy voice muttering comforting words in my ears as Taehyung tucked me against his chest, uncaring of the way I was soaking him too but I heard nothing, a white noise filling my ears, ringing through my head as my eyes blurred.

I was suddenly back in my hospital bed, Dr. Jin’s painfully familiar dark head and white coat brushing against me as he told me that my best friend had died in the car crash that I’d caused.

It had been my fault then…

Was this my fault too? I’d seen Jimin today; saw the now disturbingly obvious cues. The feverish shaking of his hands, the way he wanted to scratch at himself…the wide, lost eyes that didn’t seem to see anything.

my vision tunneled, breathing stuttered as sounds started coming from far, far away.

“Hyung, hyung! I think she’s having a panic attack! She’s shaking!” I heard someone shout before I was slumping to the cold floor, loud pants frothing from my mouth.

[its-ok-to-smile]

Some memorable scenes from Avengers: Infinity War

(and some of my thoughts)

{Spoilers beneath cut. Apologies to those on mobile, you’ll have to blindly scroll}

[Note: not a quotes will be verbatim]

The desperation in Loki’s voice in the distress call.

That whole opening scene, GOD DAMN!

We didn’t see them, but there’s a good chance, Valkerie, Korg, and Meek are dead as well

Like Thanos whole thing is that he kills half of wherever, so maybe he took a fraction of them prisoner, but STILL!

“We have a hulk”, reminds me of when the first Avengers came out, Chris said at some carpet interview he wished Loki was an Avenger

Some people were wondering why Heimdall sent Hulk to Earth, I personally thought it was that he was sent to warn them

HEIMDALL! LOKI!(I’m glad I got over my crush on him, I would’ve been ever more distraught than I already was)

Thor just clinging to his brother as the ship blows up, he’s lost everything, he’s broken.

‘‘You don’t believe in worldly possessions[...] Well maybe I can tell that to the Deli people and they’ll make you an ethereal sandwich.

Tony and Pepper talking about having kids! Also, matching jumpsuits!

Science bros hugging!

“Your embarrassing me in front of the wizards”

Hulk is scared!

“Cause a distraction” “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”

“Ain’t you kids ever seen a spaceship before”

But it can’t be a good sign if they’re getting the Stan Lee cameo out of the way so soon

“Whats going on?” “This guy wants to steal a necklace from a wizard”

Russo Brothers: “Ok look, we’ve got enough character in this movie as is, so Wong, you’re done now”

“I can’t be a ‘Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man’ if there’s no neighborhood. That sounded better in my head”

“The kids seen more movies than me”

THE GUARDIANS!! (Seriously their introduction was awesome)

Pretty much all the Guardians agreeing that Quill has put on weight

“This is a wake-up call[...] Gonna get a couple dumbbells” “You can’t eat dumbbells Quill”

“Thanos desecrated Xandar” does that mean Irani and Rhomann are dead as well?

Apparently they didn't have raccoons on Asgard, but they did have rabbits, which looked enough like raccoons to be mixed up

“Swear on your mother” “Ok”

FINALLY GOT A PETER/GAMORA KISS!

“How long have you been there?” “An hour”

I think this was the first time we ever heard Drax refer to his daughter by name(He said his wife’s name in GOTG2)

“I told you to go left”

Peter loves Gamora so much, he’s willing to live without her because of his promise to her

‘Groot’ is an Asgardian elective

Love how the series messes with expectations, such as Dwarfs being the closer to the size of Frost Giants

Groot stepping up to the plate and making the handle

Steve having a total Batman moment with that train

Alot of people pointed put that he ditched the star on his chest and the ‘A’ on his shoulder, but i don’t think anyone mentioned that he never wore his helmet either

Not gonna lie, when I saw promo art for Natasha, my first thought was ‘TRAITOR!’ (I have red hair)

“Arrest them” “Yes Sir” *hangs up”

So that’s why Clint and Scott weren’t in any of the promos

‘‘There’s an Ant-man and a Spider-man?”

“WHY IS GAMORA!!

“Is Footloose still the greatest movie ever?” “It never was” >:O

I know it’s horrifying, but that was a really cool perspective shot they did with Nebula

Thanos knew that torturing Gamora wouldn’t make her tell him where the stone is

Thanos: “I’ll just leave this woman, that I literally turned into a killing machine, in a room with just one guard”

I was actually nervous that the cloaked figure was Death, and they had decided to make her a man, but then RED SKULL!!

After so many movies, I thought they decided not to do anything with that cliffhanger.. but NOPE

PLEASE don’t let that be a permanent death, Quill has lost enough already, and obviously Gamora deserves so much better

“We can’t just wing it” “That’s kind of our whole thing”

“Tell them how you saved the galaxy with a dance-off”

“I was thinking the Olympics, or a Starbucks”

Rhodey trolling Bruce on Wakandan customs

[...]“And a war veteran whose 100 years old”

Steve and Bucky hugging!

“Why didn’t you just reprogram the synapses to work connectivity?” (pause) “Because we didn’t think of it..”(plus Vision’s expression when Shuri says it)

The look Okoye gives Bruce when he trips

Jabaris war cry(and they keep doing it throughout the battle)

The respect from M’Baku to T’Challa, considering how they used to be

“This is the end of Wakanda” “Then a glorious end it shall be”  “WAKANDA FOREVER”

“Why was she up there the whole time?”

Okoye+Natasha team up!

Then Wanda joins in! (my gay heart couldn’t handle it)

“That was gross”

*Thor shows up* “Oh now you’re screwed”

“I am Groot” *Places hand on chest* “I. am. Steve Rogers” 

Bucky just picking up Rocket and doing a spinning machine gun attack

“I am so getting that arm”

“Yeah you look a Thanos” 

I remember after the credits started, I heard the guy next to me say, “All that could have been avoided if Quill hadn’t punched Thanos’’ But that is Quill’s character, he’s always been emotion-driven, it was because of his emotions that he saved the day in both of his movies(Illogically grabbing the stone, using his ‘heart’)

“I’ve got you! And you! I’m sorry I don’t remember your names!”

“If you throw another moon at me I’m gonna kick your ass”

+++++((Now the sad stuff))+++++

Wanda having to kill the love of her life, just for it to be pointless

“Steve?”

Wanda didn’t even seem to care when she died

When T’Challa went to help up Okoye, I was expecting her to ‘dust’, but then he did, the look of pure horror/confusion on her face

Rhodey searching for Sam(also just how they were constantly looking out for each other in the battle)

I see alot of people saying how sad it was Tony watching his adopted son die(and while I agree) I feel like they’re looking over the other adopted son dying scene: Rocket and Groot

The way Groot says his line almost like question but also with a hint of fear to it(As with every movie, props to Vin Diesel, for being able to portray so many emotions with one line) And Rocket just quietly going "No, oh, no-no-no”

Steve just saying ‘Dear God’’, anyone else think he was starting to pray

What’s going to happen when Rocket finds out he’s the only one left

“There was no other way” anyone else suspect that was Dr. Strange admitting that there was never a future where they won.

Peter sounding so scared when he knew what was coming, the way he was just clinging to Tony, hoping he could fix it.

That scene with Thanos sitting on the hill reminded me of that quote from someone’s dream-Obama: “To become God is the loneliest achievement there is’’

Maria and Fury still working together

Dust-censoring

The after credits/Captain Marvel teaser was cool, but I will admit I was a little disappointed, cause I was expecting/hoping it would be Coulson

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

All the original Avengers are still alive(Hawkeye is unknown)

Everyone thought Steve and/or Tony would die, possibly Tony would die saving Peter, how wrong we were...

I suspect everyone who dusted will come back, due to several of them having sequels planned.

I also think Gamora will come back(though that’s more of a hope), like maybe they’ll use some excuse where, only she can be revived, cause she’s the only one whose body is intact.(Heimdall and Loki blew up, the stones may be destroyed, so Vision might not come back)

Where is Shuri? Last we saw her was when Vision was attacked, I feel they would have shown if she dusted. They’re obviously not going to get everyone back right away, so that leaves her as the next ruler of Wakanda

I assume all the movies planned to come out before the next part will be set before this, but I wonder how the TV shows will work around it. They can’t all go on a X amount of years hiatus (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. was setting up Thanos’ arrival, so they certainly can’t pretend their a couple years behind)

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 19 March 2018

Quick Bits:

30 Days of Night #4 gets into the first assault on Barrow from the vampires. It’s bloody and beautifully illustrated by Piotr Kowalski.

| Published by IDW

Avengers #685 is a whole load of fun and despair as a large portion of the US Avengers team (and Lightning, Vision, and Quicksilver) attempt to stave off the assault of the Immortal Hulk. It really feels like we’re headed towards the endgame now and the braintrust of Mark Waid, Jim Zub, and Al Ewing are just churning out an epic. Also, the art from Paco Medina, Juan Velasco, and Jesus Aburtov is gorgeous.

| Published by Marvel

Avengers: Back to Basics #2 concludes the first arc with Iron Man, Hulk, and Thor attempting to stop Fenris and the Disir from bringing about Ragnarok. It’s a fun and action-oriented story from Peter David, with some great humorous moments, and the art from Brian Level (with colours by Jordan Boyd) is pretty much worth the price of the book alone. Great panel compositions and page layouts that greatly help the issue’s story feel meaty.

| Published by Marvel

Big Trouble in Little China: Old Man Jack #7 gets us close to the end, but of course it’s not as easy as rescuing Egg Shen and defeating Ching Dai, there has to be funny misadventures, in-fighting, and heaps of betrayal.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Cable #155 is pretty damn great. It begins the “Past Fears” arc from the new creative team of Zac Thompson, Lonnie Nadler, Germán Peralta, and Jesus Aburtov and leaps headlong into Cable’s past mixing it up with some body horror. Thompson and Nadler have a nice grasp on Cable and Hope’s characters, showing off their heart and stubbornness. Peralta’s art puts the book over the top, though. 

| Published by Marvel

Dark Fang #5 brings to an end the first arc of the series, finally giving the lead character a name in-story itself. It’s a bizarre approach to vampires from Miles Gunter, almost like a twisted Disney fairy tale, but it’s entertaining and has some great artwork from Kelsey Shannon.

| Published by Image

Death of Love #2 features more wacky hijinks as Philo tells his friends about seeing the little Cherubs/Cupidae and...naturally they don’t believe him. It just gets more absurd from there as Justin Jordan and Donal DeLay push the series into new and more disturbing territory.

| Published by Image

Dept. H #24 ends what has been a good series with a nice bit of quiet reflection, Mia reminiscing about her father, her first case, and morality as she struggles upward for that last leg of survival.

| Published by Dark Horse

Dissonance #2 dives deeper into the machinations of the Fantasmen as they plot and scheme to control humanity. Singgih Nugoro and Ryan Cady are laying it on pretty thick, while making you wonder what all of it is truly for.

| Published by Image / Top Cow - Glitch

Doctor Strange: Damnation #3 is basically an issue’s long fight between the damned Avengers and the Midnight Sons. There’s some nice character bits and humour thrown in. Plus, a seemingly most ineffective plan.

| Published by Marvel

Evolution #5 sees Joe Infurnari and Jordan Boyd step up their game, and the art on the series was already incredible. It seems as we go on, the designs and presentation of the infected just get more and more impressive.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Harrow County #29 returns with the beginning of the end. Emmy is trying to come to terms with her actions in the last arc, while Hester’s return heralds more nightmares to come. Tyler Crook’s artwork is stellar, horrifying and evocative, elevating the terror with each subsequent panel.

| Published by Dark Horse

Ice Cream Man #3 is weird, trading in the more traditional horror notes of the past couple of issue for absurdist science fantasy, following a washed-up, fading musician who penned a one-hit wonder as he fades into obscurity. W. Maxwell Prince’s story gets pretty strange, but it allows for Martín Morazzo to really flex his muscles.

| Published by Image

Infinity 8 #1 begins adapting in English and North America’s standard comics format the Infinity 8 series that was previously published by Rue de Sèvres, created by Lewis Trondheim and Olivier Vatine. Part of the pitch for the book is an 8-part series each containing three issue arcs. The 8 parts certainly play into the structure of the story as each part will be done by a different creative team, and focus on a recursive time loop of agents exploring a debris field.

This first arc, written by Lewis Trondheim and Zep with art by Dominique Bertail, focuses on Agent Yoko Keren, a woman looking for a compatible mate among the ship’s crew so she can get pregnant and basically retire better off than she is currently. She gets to be the first guinea pig for the Captain’s time loop exploration of the debris, and it gets a bit weird when some of the ship’s complement of aliens decide that eating it is of the utmost importance. This story is weird sci-fi in the vein of Heavy Metal, but to me the draw is Bertail’s art. I’ve really been enjoying Bertail’s art in Ghost Money and he proves equally adept with wacky space stuff.

| Published by Lion Forge / Magnetic Collection

Iron Fist #78 jumps head first into Danny’s unresolved issues in what’s probably the best Damnation tie-in thus far. Ed Brisson uses the chaos of the event and the trigger of the penance stare to dredge up Danny’s feelings and reactions to what he considers his loss and failures, giving some really deep cuts into continuity in an organic, natural fashion. The art from Damian Couceiro and Andy Troy is also up to the heavy lifting. The layouts and panel designs at the beginning of the book as Danny navigates the surreal landscape of his memories and fears are particularly impressive.

| Published by Marvel

James Bond: The Body #3 has some great art by Rapha Lobosco, in the first of two series that have his work this week. His art is in a similar style to Eduardo Risso and it lends itself well to this dark tale of neo-Nazi arms dealers from Aleš Kot.

| Published by Dynamite

Kick-Ass #2 asks some important questions as Patience backslides into justifications for her criminal behaviour. Mark Millar steps up the moral quandary from just the vigilantism of the original Kick-Ass, even as she later protects a child from an abusive father figure.

| Published by Image

Lucy Dreaming #1 is fun. For starters, it’s nice to see Michael Dialynas again on another sci-fi/fantasy series after The Woods, even if it is just a limited series. His art naturally lends itself to the fantastical and it pays off in spades in this first issue, with nice designs for aliens, starships, and more. It’s also great that Max Bemis is bringing more of that weirdness and altered realities from his works like Centipede here. I’m really looking forward to seeing where this goes from here.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

The Mighty Thor #705 will break your heart. Epic storytelling and gorgeous art. Jason Aaron, Russell Dauterman, and Matthew Wilson should be proud.

| Published by Marvel

Ninja-K #5 brings the battle to the Acclimation Bureau and sparks off a deadly confrontation between Ninja-C and Ninjak. Christos Gage and Tomás Giorello bring this first arc to a stylish conclusion.

| Published by Valiant

Pathfinder: Spiral of Bones #1 brings the adventuring party back for a new expedition, this time far beneath Kaer Maga, the City of Strangers. Crystal Frasier is a new voice to the Pathfinder comics, but old hat to the roleplaying game, so she slides in nicely to the writer’s chair here. There’s a good amount of set-up and humorous banter as the Iconic character Imrijka is introduced in the comic as an old friend of Valeros.

| Published by Dynamite

Punks Not Dead #2 gets into more of Fergie’s ordinary life and the supporting cast of characters at his school and beyond. David Barnett fleshes them out fairly well, setting up some interesting hooks for what might be coming next. Combined with Martin Simmonds artwork, this series really is a must buy for anyone who enjoyed the British supernatural flavour of mid to late ‘90s Vertigo or the later series Vinyl Underground.

| Published by IDW / Black Crown

Regression #8 sees Adrian explore the nature of the cult and their grounds a bit more, although there is a weird bit in that he’s seemingly all right with the past lives, the demons, the cult itself and such, but apparently an orgy is a bridge too far. Death, murder, and demons are copacetic, but as soon as sex is introduced, Adrian wants to bug out. I’m hoping that Cullen Bunn does more with that theme in a future issue.

| Published by Image

Rumble #4 mainly deals with the fallout from Bobby’s injuries, with John Arcudi penning a growing divide between Rathraq and Del. David Rubín’s art perfectly capturing the insanity and the heart of the entire situation.   

| Published by Image

Runaways #7 begins the “Best Friends Forever” arc with the team trying to adjust to their new status quo and “normal” life. Rainbow Rowell is great at these kinds of interpersonal relationships and it makes for an entertaining read.

| Published by Marvel

The Spider King #2 is more glorious madness blending Vikings and bizarre alien technology. The artwork from Simone D’Armini just fits this action perfectly.

| Published by IDW

Summit #4 concludes the first story arc, with Val coming to the realization of Lorena’s motivations and Foresight’s shadiness that readers of the broader Catalyst Prime line already know. It comes a bit suddenly after a moment of misdirection, but it makes more story sense to get Val back to her friends at the MIT labs.

| Published by Lion Forge / Catalyst Prime

Tales of Suspense #103 is that issue that tells us exactly what has been going on with Black Widow while Hawkeye and Winter Soldier have been running around chasing after her body count. It’s kind of dark and has some fairly complicated potential Alien Resurrection style implications. Matthew Rosenberg still throws in some humour with Ursa Major, but this one’s really an opportunity for Travel Foreman to showcase some of the darker end of his skill set.

| Published by Marvel

TMNT Universe #20 continues the excellent “Service Animals” arc from Ian Flynn, Dave Wachter, and Ronda Pattison that’s getting to the core of what Null has been doing, and providing an interesting, humanizing look at Raphael and Alopex. The art from Wachter and Pattison is wonderful. There’s also a great back-up from Matthew K. Manning, Adam Gorham, and Brittany Peer that tells a humorous and heartfelt tale of Raph trying to get some sleep.

| Published by IDW

Thanos #17 is the penultimate chapter of “Thanos Wins”, featuring both Thanoses against the Fallen One, with a few surprise guests. Geoff Shaw really gets the opportunity again to showcase just how damn good he is at action and spectacle.

| Published by Marvel

Usagi Yojimbo: The Hidden #1 is the first of the series to follow the series of series format Dark Horse tends to use for Mike Mignola’s Hellboy universe. Regardless of the approach, this still has the same great Stan Sakai taste. Ostensibly we’re dealing with some fugitives, and a secret package, being tracked down by agents of the shogunate, but we’re light on details so far and high on mystery.

| Published by Dark Horse

Vampirella #11 is the second of the books illustrated by Rapha Lobosco this week as he and Jeremy Whitley bring this current volume to a close. This issue serves as a recap of Vicki’s adventures with Vampirella as she comes to a new understanding of herself, opening up to find a solution for the fake heaven and missing God problem.

| Published by Dynamite

Weapon H #1 is probably better than any one would have thought as ridiculous a concept as a Hulkverine would be. Spinning out of the “Weapons of Mutant Destruction” crossover and subsequent Weapon X follow-up arc, this series follows Clay, a former soldier and test subject for some mad science experiments blending Hulk and Wolverine DNA. Greg Pak blends those two aspects in the story itself, taking elements from both the Hulk and Wolverine legacy, and wisely begins this with a new take on the tale that introduced Wolverine to the world in the pages of Incredible Hulk with a new Wendigo. The art from Cory Smith, Marcus To, and Morry Hollowell sticks the landing.

| Published by Marvel

Witchblade #4 continues the trend of being another great issue of this series. Caitlin Kittredge is beginning to get into the meat of the lore behind the Witchblade and the thirteen Artifacts, tying the reboot in to the mythology of the original Witchblade/Darkness universe, while also fleshing out more and more of Alex’s backstory. The art, again, by Roberta Ingranata and Bryan Valenza is some of the most beautiful on the shelves today.

| Published by Image / Top Cow

Other Highlights: Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #17, Archie #29, Babyteeth #9, Berlin #22, Corto Maltese: The Golden House of Samarkand, Descender #28, The Further Adventures of Nick Wilson #3, Ghostbusters: Answer the Call #4, Go Go Power Rangers #8, Incredible Hulk #714, Jim Henson’s The Storyteller: Fairies #4, Kill or Be Killed #17, Mata Hari #2, The Mighty Crusaders #4, Monsters Unleashed #12, Monstress #15, Moonshine #8, Ms. Marvel #28. Outcast #34, Quantum & Woody! #4, Southern Cross #14, Spider-Gwen #30, Star Wars #45, Star Wars: Poe Dameron #25, Superb #8

Recommended Collections: Aliens: Dead Orbit, Black Science - Volume 7: Extinction is the Rule, Giant Days - Volume 7, Harrow County - Volume 7: Dark Times A Coming, Iron Fist - Volume 2: Sabretooth Round Two, Moonstruck - Volume 1, Rick & Morty: Pocket Like You Stole It, Spider-Men II, X-Men Blue - Volume 3: Cross Time Capers

d. emerson eddy is doing stuff, Lori. Things!