#it's like I've been totally taken out of my context

[anarchomitsumi]

I WANT TO GO BACK TO GALIZA

[maidenvault]

During my last rewatch of the prequels I was actually shocked by how much I've misremembered or decontextualized certain moments in my mind because of how they're often talked about in fandom as showing the Jedi as too arrogant, too bureaucratic, generally just burying their heads in the sand while everything goes bad etc. So I'm gonna try to address every individual scene that typically gets brought up to argue that this is an actual theme in Lucas's portrayal of the Order.

The Council doesn't take Qui-Gon's account of meeting a Sith seriously.

Mace and Ki Adi Mundi do both express doubt this guy could be a Sith. (Understandably! Historically they've never known Sith to be able to hide their existence, and for them to have survived totally in secret for a thousand years is a pretty wild thing for Qui-Gon to be so sure of.)

BUT Yoda admits that the dark side is hard to see, and Mace assures Qui-Gon they'll do everything to find out the identity of the attacker. Later he's ordered to go back to Naboo and try to draw out Maul to discover more. Qui-Gon accepts this and doesn't ask for backup. Why should he? He held his own against Maul before, and Maul's probably not gonna show himself again to face a ton of Jedi. They end up missing the chance to learn who trained Maul because of how things go down, but Qui-Gon's death isn't the result of the Council mishandling the situation.

At the funeral, Yoda says the presence of one Sith means there's another out there. They know they've got to be on guard now and will be, but they've got no more leads for now.

2. Qui-Gon's not here to free slaves.

There's this idea that slavery existing on Tatooine shows the Order is apparently too tied up doing shady things for self-interested politicians (footage not found) to help the people who really need it. But Padme's shocked to know the Skywalkers are slaves for a reason. The truth is there isn't a lot of slavery in the galaxy at this time because the Jedi have helped keep it that way for centuries only by working with the Republic. In TCW we see that Zygerrian slavers have a particular hatred of Jedi because they're literally The Anti Slavery People and did so much of the work to crack down on their trade. But Tatooine is controlled by the Hutts and they simply don't have the resources to start a war with them.

(And honestly, it's crazy how people talk like Qui-Gon's a monster for honestly and apologetically telling Anakin no, that's not why he's here. This is a child he's already indebted to and who has a hero-worshipping idea of Jedi, it would be fucked up for him not to be clear about how he can't help him and his mom.)

3. They doubt Dooku could be behind the assassination attempt.

This I understand shows the Jedi to be a little naive. But they knew Dooku as a good man, and at this point he and his followers are still putting on a show of wanting to secede for idealistic reasons (and a few of them, manipulated by Dooku, actually do have good intentions). Only later do the Jedi learn they're illegally building an army before they've even officially left the Republic and clearly have no interest in the peaceful resolution Padme's been advocating for. And they only find this out because they have Obi-Wan investigate the assassin and this very quickly leads him to Dooku.

4. "Arrogance, yes. A trait more and more common among Jedi. Even the older, more experienced ones."

In context, this line from Yoda is clearly not meant to be taken so seriously. Obi-Wan says he fears Anakin is too arrogant, and this is Yoda's light-hearted way of telling him not to be so hard on him. Part of training a Padawan is learning to trust them so they can grow, and Obi-Wan perhaps needs the reminder that he isn't done learning himself.

Of course Yoda saying this could be partly motivated by them having been caught off guard before by the existence of Darth Maul and the dark side clouding their awareness, as we're told repeatedly throughout the PT they know is a problem. But it's kind of contradictory to take this as confirmation that this is a serious fatal flaw of theirs. If someone acknowledges their own arrogance then they're aware of their ability to be wrong, which means they can't actually be that arrogant. If truly meant in a general sense and not just as a gentle reproof of Obi-Wan, it's a pretty self-deprecating comment coming from Yoda.

5. "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist."

Chief Librarian Jocasta Nu gives this haughty response to Obi-Wan looking for Kamino, a system that's not in the Jedi Archives. So being so overly confident in the infallible knowledge of the Jedi, he takes her word for it and totally drops this lead.

Except no, he goes to someone older and wiser to figure out what this actually means. And he and Yoda are forced to conclude that the unthinkable - a trusted person among them somehow had reason to erase information from the archive - must nonetheless be what happened. This is honestly an exception that proves the rule: Kamino, and we can assume only Kamino, is missing from the archive only because it was removed, which is so suspicious it just shows he must be on the right track to discovering something. Jocasta is kind of snooty about it but theirs obviously is supposed to be one of the most accurate and complete databases in the galaxy.

6. Obi-Wan doesn't believe what Dooku tells him about the Senate.

For one thing, in this conversation Dooku's lying about basically everything but this. And I can't ever stress enough that Palpatine is a threat unlike anything the Jedi have ever dealt with before, who's already taken control of so much before they even know they're fighting anything, so the idea that a Sith is controlling the Senate would be really hard for anyone to believe.

Still, we know Obi-Wan reports this to the Council anyway. But it's a vague statement and they still don't have any information to act on. Palpatine soon has them very busy putting out fires in the war, and naturally fighting the Separatists who are led by Sith seems the best way for them to get to the bottom of what exactly is going on with the dark side. And they do finally turn their attention to how power-hungry Palpatine is getting once the war is nearly over and they've got the bandwidth for it, and think about what they might have to do if he's the threat to their democracy they fear, but of course he's too many steps ahead of them all the time.

---

So basically, what we see the Jedi being so guilty of in these examples are thought crimes. When confronted with the crazy explanation that happens to be true, their instinctive reaction is "No, I don't think that's possible." And then they do their due diligence to uncover as much of the truth as they can anyway. And Yoda, the Grand Master of them all, is often the first to admit that their first assumptions could be wrong. But Palpatine wouldn't be a good villain if his moves were predictable and he couldn't get an advantage over the good guys - that's just how storytelling works sometimes and it's not that deep.

It honestly felt stupid typing so much of this out because it's 90% just describing what actually happens in these scenes. But I guess it's a lot to ask that people actually carefully watch the films they discuss. 😒

[golden-moony]

rumour has it | LN4

pairings: lando norris x model!fem!oc summary: everyone knows Lando has been single for a while, but when fans start to notice too many coincidences involving him and a model, his relationship status suddenly becomes the center of attention.

landonorris posted to his story!

[caption 1; ✈️✈️] [caption 3; it's summer time babyyy]

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; what time is it? summer time!] [caption 2; my serotonin levels right now📈📈]

lnfour

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lnfour besties who go on vacation together, stay together 🤜🤛

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user1 f1's greatest wag

user2 SAY IT LOUDER user3 apparently max has competition now👀 user4 user3 NEVER user5 user3 context??? user6 user5 according to f1twt lando is on vacation not only with friends and family but also with a model named irina user7user5 crazy people who assume that Lando and Irina are together just because they are both on a yacht at sea🤦‍♀️

team_quadrant things we love to see 🫶

user8 aww literal boyfriends

user9 i guess not only "besties" are on vacation with lando right now huh ☕

user10 i'm gone for 1 minute and now lando is supposedly dating a new girl??? bro give me a break

user11 nah they're not dating, i don't even think they're in the same place tbh 😂😂 user12 user11 i've been saying this!!! people see them on a yacht and at sea and assume they're next to each other lol

user13 can we focus on lando and max matching outfits?? 😻

user14 they're soulmates if u ask me user15 best duo for real 🧡

irinakrausse

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irinakrausse We got no troubles, life is the bubbles under the sea🧜‍♀️

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user1 i'm here for f1twt but bro i didn't expect her to be so beautiful like omg??

user2 RIGHT??? i think i'm in love now 😍 user3 i was ready to be jealous of her but now i'm jealous of lando tbh user4 user3 MOOD. SHE'S SO PRETTY

user5 oh lando i totally get you now 😳

user6 man has incredible taste honestly

user7 i'm no better than a man omg

lailahasanovic what a woman🥵🔥

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user8 laila sweety what are u doing here?? user9 user8 u new here? laila and irina have been friends for a long time lol user10 user9 when people find out that Irina has more wag friends they're gonna lose their minds😂

user11 lando this lando that but IRINA HOW CAN YOU BE SO PRETTY???? 😍😍

user12 not lando liking the pic😂

user13 he's been liking irina's pics for months now, this is nothing new haha user14 i'm more surprised to see ria in the likes tbh user15 yeah yeah but WHAT ABOUT KIKA??? user16 user15 they've worked together

user17 STUNNING 😍😍😍

user18 JUST ONE CHANCE IRINA PLEASE😭🙏

landonorris

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landonorris aquaman who?

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user1 y'all he's mine go away

user2 get in line girl 🙄 user3 i'm afraid he's already taken user4 user3 WHAT DID I MISS?? user5 user4 girl where have u been the last week?😂 streets are sayin' he's on vacation with a model user6 user4 he's on vacation with friends, don't believe dumb rumors

user7 SIR I WASN'T PREPARED OMG😳😳

user8 liked by irina krausse 👀

user9 she's trying so hard to be relevant

user10 user9 ... it's just a like, jeez

user11 i would kill for that smile 🥹

user12 FR SO PRETTY user13 lando's smile >>>>>> user14 okay but now imagine that irina was the one who took the photo and lando is looking at her like this🥹 user15 user14 STOP my heart would melt 😩 user16 user14 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING

mclaren lookin' good 🔥🔥

user17 admin being a total mood

danielricciardo cool pics, can i borrow the photographer?😇

landonorris no. user18 DANNY WHAT DO YOU KNOW

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irinakrausse

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irinakrausse already missing my vitamin sea 🌞

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user1 WOAH

user2 my sentiments exactly

lilymhe it should be illegal to look this good in public💘

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user3 LILY?????? user4 is this a way of welcoming the new wag? 👀 user5 user4 this clout chaser is NOT a wag user6 user5 jealous much? lol user7 lily honey tell us what u know pleeeease

user8 i wanna be lando so bad right now 😳

user9 she looks like luisa or is it just me?

user10 I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the resemblance🫣 user11 lando clearly has a type 😅 user12 luisa is way more beautiful than this girl. user13 user12 there's no need to compare two gorgeous women, grow up

user14 A WARNING NEXT TIME PLEASE i wasn't ready for the last pic 🥵

user15 this is such a mood tbh user16 and lando is getting all that i can't believe his luck 😫

user17 SO PRETTY OMG 😍😍

user18 is that lando's hand in the 5th pic or am i crazy?

user19 IT'S HIS BRACELET 100% user20 you're crazy indeed

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[caption 1; work time!] [caption 2; 📸] [caption 3; 😴😴]

| landonorris replied to your story

landonorris

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landonorris CARLANDO PODIUM BABY!! 🏆

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mclaren EVERYBODY LOVED THAT 🔥🔥

user1 let's go team!!! user2 PLEASE MCLAREN WE NEED THEM TOGETHER AGAIN😭😭 user3 ADMIN BEING A TOTAL MOOD RN user4 vamooooos!!!!! user5 ADMIN IS ONE OF US ❤️🧡

user6 massive win for us Carlando girlies 😭💖

user7 I'M SO HAPPY OMG user8 my carlando heart is full of joy rn 😭❤️‍🩹

user9 YOU GUYS SLAYEDDDDD ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

carlossainz55 VAMOS, CABRÓN 👊🏆

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user10 carlando nation we really won 🥹 user11 BEST DUO FR 🚀 user12 OUR BOYS ❤️🧡

team_quadrant i'm not crying, you are 😭😭

user13 are u crying?? hahaha... i think i'm crying! user14 user13 elite reference right there

user15 best podium of the season!!! 🫶

irinakrausse That was a smooth operation indeed! 🫡🏆

liked by landonorris

user16 so we got carlando podium AND irina's first comment on lando's ig? HOW ARE WE FEELING CHAT? user17 user16 OH WE REALLY WON user18 hard launch is around the corner y'all 👀 user19 user18 *pretends to be shocked* 😂

user20 SO PROUD OF YOU TWO 🧡🧡

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; rise and shine, everyone!] [caption 2; someone's back🧡]

lando.jpg

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lando.jpg 🦄❄️

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user1 HE POSTED IRINA!!!!!

user2 it was about damn time! user3 bro really said i'm in love and i want everyone to know that user4 user3 and i respect him for it 😂 user5 user3 i mean it's irina, who could blame him? user6 is that really irina? user7 user6 they're in the same place, you can confirm it in Irina's stories

user8 5th slide is my new roman empire

user9 the way i just SCREAMED omg user10 wasn't expecting that at all 😂

user11 he didn't win the championship but won at love🫶 how cute

liked by lando.jpg

user12 HE LIKED IT OMG user13 that like it's all the confirmation i need

user14 bestie don't be shy and drop more pics with irina 🤭

user15 are we gonna talk about the unicorn helmet or what?

user16 that's high fashion if u ask me user17 i'll never understand how irina fell in love with lando when he has this kind of looks😂 user18 user17 yeah but have you seen lando? 🫦 user19 user17 she saw he was rich and fell for him lol user20 user19 ugh haters are not allowed in here, go away🤮

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[caption 1; white paradise🤍] [caption 2; 🤍✨]

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[caption 2; 🤍✨] [caption 3; ☃️⛷️]

irinakrausse

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irinakrausse ❄️

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user1 the real question is: can lando fight?

user2 one day you're fighting for lando and the next you're fighting WITH lando user3 user2 that's the ✨irina effect✨

user4 this woman is unreal 😍😍

user5 lando watch out cause you and i are not friends

user6 so we're all in love with irina right? user7 user6 of course we are! user8 user6 i mean just look at her! 😻

user9 irina please drop your hair routine for the girlies🙏

user10 c'mon guys!!! new year has to bring their relationship confirmation (i'm probably delulu but whatever)

user11 we've waited enough, i can't do this anymore😩 user12 we need to keep manifesting 🕯️🕯️

user13 STUNNING 😍

landonorris do you wanna build a snowman?

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user14 alright bro's in love 😂 user15 sir u need to keep workin on these pickup lines user16 lando no-rizz strikes again user17 user16 i meaaan irina loves disney movies, so i guess he does have the rizz 🤷‍♀️

user18 MOTHER IS MOTHERING 🔥🔥🔥

user19 okay but who was the photographer? 👀

user20 sis we all know the answer to that 😏

landonorris

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landonorris Happy birthday to the most intelligent, funny and gorgeous woman I've ever met. Love you, darling🧡

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user1 Y'ALL IT'S HAPPENING OMFG

user2 MOM AND DAD 🗣️🗣️

user3 IT'S FINALLY OFFICIAL

maxfewtrell woah hold on, irina was your gf?

georgerussell63 WAIT WHAT carlossainz55 WAIT WHAT alex_albon WAIT WHAT maxverstappen1 WAIT WHAT danielricciardo WAIT WHAT charles_leclerc WAIT WHAT landonorris y'all stfu 🙄 user4 LOOOOOOL user5 it was the worst secret ever kept 😂

user6 alexa play that should be me (u two are so cute tho😻)

user7 i wanna be sad but i'm actually so happy for them🥹 user8 user7 MOOD they're adorable 😍

user9 lando you lucky man 😳

user10 they're both lucky tbh user11 user10 hottest couple ever fr 🥵

user12 ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS CHAT WHATJSNFJKSNDKFFNCN

user13 YESSSSSJSNFKS IM SO HAPPY I WANNA CRY user14 we've waited MONTHS but it was so worth it🥹💗

mclaren QUEEN AND KING 👑💘

user15 admin is one of us, no doubt

user16 last pic it's so cute i can'tttt🥺

user17 lando is really setting a high standard here

user18 FR irinakrausse where did u find this man? asking for a friend user19 i need a lando in my life like rn

irinakrausse alexa play london boy by taylor swift

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irinakrausse oh and i love u moreeee🥰❤️‍🔥 user21 CUTEST COUPLE EVER user22 can u two adopt me please?🥺 user23 AND SHE'S A SWIFTIE? irina just became my fav wag 🛐

user24 ok ok but does this mean we'll get more of Irina at the races this year or what?

user25 i mean i hope so irinakrausse you'll have to wait and see (yes) user26 YAY OMFG I CANT WAIT !!!!!!

author's note: hope y'all enjoyed it! would love to know your thoughts <3 btw feel free to leave any request 🤍

[power-handmaiden]

Day 314: Oppressed In The Butt By My Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups

Believe it or not, this tingler is actually part of a cherished holiday memory for me. I won't go into the whole story, but when it came out I was at a kitchen job that sucked, and the one good thing about it was that the bosses were rarely around so my chef and I did not have to follow any standard of propriety when it came to what we listened to. It was just the two of us most days and we both loved putting on the raunchiest listening we could find. Dramatic readings of Chuck Tingle were becoming a thing on YouTube and this one became our beloved Holiday Special that we listened to several times during the season. A constant reminder to have an open heart and an open butt.

So, this one transports me back to that time in my life. There was a lot that wasn't going well, but I had recently learned of this self-published erotica author people were talking about online and I had all his fun short stories to cheer me up. Some things don't change.

However, I think tinglers themselves have changed. All year I've felt a slow tonal progression towards a softer expression of Dr. Tingle's espoused value of love. It's hard to articulate and I've been waiting for the right time to discuss it, and no time has felt better than now, when I've flipped all the way from 2023 tinglers back to a 2015 tingler.

Tinglers with unsympathetic protagonists- and this is one of them- are where I see the most marked difference between early tinglers and current ones. In the early ones I see more cynicism, I see mockery, I even occasionally get the feeling that characters' sexual urges are presented as part of the absurdity. Broadly speaking, earlier tinglers with unlikable protagonists will more often go after their subject for the way they feel, while more recent ones criticize their subject for the negative impact they have on the people around them.

I love this tingler. Like I said, it brought levity to a hard time in my life. At the same time, I read it and I can't totally blame people who thought, back in 2015, that Chuck Tingle was only a comedic persona- especially if they knew this tingler but hadn't read the more romantic fantasies also in the early tingleverse like "My Ass Is Haunted By The Gay Unicorn Colonel".

Dr. Tingle has already spoken about tinglers in the context of his neurodivergence, and unmasking through the process of writing tinglers. Looking at these stories from through the years, I feel like I can see the unmasking as a process in itself. This tingler has a thick coating of irony that feels more in line with the early audience's expectations. The true expression of the radical love that Dr. Tingle is known for feels like it's taken work to unearth from years of living in a culture that condemns sincerity. I don't know, that's just conjecture, I don't live in Dr. Tingle's head, but that's the picture that's come to me from over 300 days on this tingler reading journey.

[avernusreject]

Warning ya'll this is gonna be a long post. But please join my descent into insanity, as I deep dive into the vague wormhole that is the durge betrayal pre bg3 timeline.

Before we start, it’ll help if you have context around the faerun calendar. There are twelve months in total, each having exactly 30 days. Additionally, weeks don’t exist in faerun. Rather months get broken down into chunks of time called tendays, which you guessed is literally just ten days. If that was too straight forward for you, don’t worry, they add in five extra days to the calendar that fall outside of the months (ngl I still have no idea where these are located) to make the full year 365 days. 

At the beginning of the game, the nautiloid crash occurs at 20 Eleasis. Which means, the game starts in the middle of summer. Obviously, the way you play the game is going to influence the speed of events, but for my playthrough I reached moonrise towers around 12 elient (total time being 22 days). When you get to moonrise, in Bathazar’s chamber you can find his journal that explains that Kressa (the crazy necromancer chick) managed to keep durge alive. This entry is dated “two tenday ago”. But in game, that makes no sense because we know that the nautiloid should have crashed around that point. So either Balthazar doesn’t understand how the Faerun calendar works (I mean same, my guy) or we have to change our frame of reference. I think its more likely that the implied frame of reference is the start of the game, 20 Eleasis (since the developers can’t control how fast the player goes). 

If true, durge was saved by Kressa around 1 Eleasis. Her vivisections took place after this in the following days. However, durge is taken away before the end of the following tendays (at least before 10 Eleasis).

Now when you talk to Kressa in the basement of moonrise, she states that she found durge only hours after they had been given the tadpole.

In the fight with Orin, she states that when she attacked durge she carved out a hole for the worm (ignore the Half-Elf part, that's just from the moment Orin turns into durge during the pre-fight convo).

The part that we're missing is when specifically the tadpole was inserted into durge. But given how the game describes just how utterly fucked durge was, there's a high likelyhood that the tadpole was given to durge moments after their fight. Which if true, places Orin's betrayal at 1 Eleasis. Giving us twenty days till the start of the game.

The piece that threw me for a bit was this piece of the narrator's dialogue when durge examines the pod, stating that durge had no idea how much time had passed.

But the blood in the pod is still fresh enough that Astarion is able to ID it as durge & in another dialogue choice if you examine the blood further the narrator states the blood hasn't been there long enough to rot.

I think this dialogue is more explaining that durge is actively being tortured by Kressa so time feels unending (kressa being the one who put them in the pod to begin with).

I've seen in other posts that Gortash's draft memoir explains that Orin's betrayal occurred during or just around the crowning of the brain (I don't have a screenshot of that unfortunately). But we have to take that with a grain of salt because Gortash is the definition of an unreliable narrator.

Personally, I don't think he's lying though. Orin's betrayal occurred in moonrise and there's really no other reason that Orin and durge would be in moonrise that the game has provided. Not to mention, the warden explains the last time that durge was in moonrise, they never left.

I don't think durge came to moonrise more then once given the fact that the warden, who had clearly been there a while, had no clue who they were. I find it hard to believe their identity would be kept under wraps had they been at moonrise multiple times. Employees have to gossip about something.

I think its likely that Ketheric, Gortash, and Durge tamed the brain in the days leading up to 1 Eleasis (like ~20 to 30 Flamerule).

In summary, the dead three had a Phineas and Ferb summer vacation by deciding to create the cult of the absolute.

And yes if you are wondering this is how I look now.

[fredwkong]

Alphaworld File 3: Diary of an Alpha Transformation (1 of ?)

Click here to read Alphaworld in posting order.

X

An undated journal. It is heavily bedazzled on the covers, though many of the gems appear to have been scraped off or stepped on. There are several stains yellowing the coloured paper of the cover, mostly sweat.

Inside the front cover, there is a space where the owner is encouraged to write their name. Two names occupy the space, one on top of the other. The lower layer is written with a purple marker, neatly spelling the name “Ronaldo Herrera.” There are multicoloured sparkles drawn around the name, and glitter has been sprinkled over it. Some of the glitter appears to have been scraped off with a knife, and there is a 3 centimetre tear at the top interior of the page, as if someone was about to rip it out. On top of the first name, the name “RONNIE H” is scrawled in crude capitals using a pencil. The pencil was applied with sufficient force that graphite scrapes are visible from where they were brushed off the page.

Journal entries flow into each other without dating, but editors have split entries based on context and labelled them “Day One, Day Two, Day Three…” despite the fact that more than one day clearly proceeds between some entries. From this point onward, journal entries are transliterated directly, with marginalia and other notes on the text rendered in square brackets [] to distinguish them from the main body.

[Day One]

OMG, I’m soooo happy to be back on campus! Staying with my parents is such a bore! They don’t let me stream any of my shows, they say drag race is of the devil, and the town is so small that I’m, like, the only twink there. I can’t even get any dl dick all holiday because country guys are all totally masc for masc. My hole is toooootally desperate.

I’m so happy that Ollie across the hall got me this journal! He made it look soooo cute with all the stones! He’s, like, okay for a fellow bottom, even tho his massive crush on me is, like, totally obvious. Sorry babe, this dick is for decoration only lmao! Maybe we could get tag teamed by a big dick boy sometime, that’d be pretty hot. I've never bottomed alongside a transmasc dude.

Anyway, I just stopped at the dorm to drop off my suitcase and get out of my het drag, there’s a whole lotta frat parties starting tonight and if I wanna end my dry spell I’ve gotta be there! I just had to live my Sex and the City fantasy by putting down a few lines in the diary first!

[a doodle of an open-faced journal with scribbly lines on the page in rainbow colours]

[Day Two]

ZOMGGGGGGG [written in double-tall bubble letters across a quarter of the page, filled in with pink highlighter]

This term is gonna be SO AWESOME.

Campus is suddenly full of massive muscle men who are totally desperate for me! I was, like, totally the target of a dominance contest at the party last night, and it was SO HOT.

So I walk in, right? And I’m dressed in my usual, my lil slutty crop and my littlest shorts. Here, I took a pic before I left so you can see how cute I was.

Anyway, I’m cute, I’m obvious, I’m ready to have any guy absolutely wreck me. Like, last night, I would have taken a bicurious frat bro fucking me raw, my hole was so neglected. So I am a blaring neon sign: I’M A FAG [written in rainbow marker colours]

And as soon as I walk in, this GOD [a doodle of a massive man is in the margin, a perfect X shape covered in cartoonishly bulging muscles] comes up to me and is all, “Hey boy, I’m Nate.” He. Is. PERFECT. Gorgeous grey eyes, windswept dirty blond hair, a tank top hugging pecs the size of my HEAD. And his voice gets me tooootally weak in the knees. I can't believe he's LOOKING at lil ol me, even if I do look like a twinky slut.

But before I can even say anything to Nate, there’s another MASSIVE arm draped over my shoulder, and ANOTHER massive guy is whispering in my ear, like, “Name’s Lee. Want a drink?” I look over, and he’s just as hot as Nate, with shiny black hair and this perfect sexy smile like a J-pop star. But, like, if a J-pop star was 250 pounds of pure muscle and sex.

I swear all the air went out of the room. Suddenly, Nate and Lee were glaring at each other over me, and all these frat bros were staring.

BTW, when did all the frat bros get so cuuuute? Like, not as sexy as Nate and Lee, but they’re all totally cut this term and I think they’ve got some skincare going? Like I wanna go back sometime lmao.

Lee, like, GROWLED as he glared across me. I felt a li-ter-al rumble from his chest. Nate started totally flexing his big pecs, I thought his shirt was gonna shred in the middle. They didn’t even SAY anything, it was so totally primal. I think I got a whiff of Lee as he tucked me closer to his chest, and I realised he totally doesn’t use deodorant. He smelled totally HAWT.

Anyway, I have two perfect men fighting over me, and I’m not letting either of them go, so I go, “Boys, I promise my holes are big enough to share.” I totes flashed my dimples at them. [doodle of a smiley face]

They kept glaring at each other, but finally Lee was like, “I get his hole.” Maybe he, like, won the contest or whatever? Because Nate looked down at the floor and said, “Fine.” And I mean, fine with me! I love getting stuffed from both ends! What a way to come back from vacay!

We didn’t stay at the party long, just long enough for Lee to get me a drink and Nate to carry me around the dance floor a bit. I checked on Lee while we were dancing, and he was, like, totally making out with one of the frat bros. Like, a guy I knew was straight. I blew him freshman year when his gf was away. I guess Lee’s just like that, lmao.

We ended up upstairs. I think Lee’s in the frat? But we weren’t in his room, which was kinda hot. Lee and Nate sandwiched me between them as soon as we were through the door. I was tooootally surrounded by massive muscle as Nate made out with me and Lee sucked on my neck. I felt, like, high, with Nate’s big cock grinding into my belly through his jeans while Lee felt up my cute ass.

“You guys kissing would be so hot,” I gasped as Nate pulled off my shirt and Lee took off my shorts.

They both hesitated, I could feel it. “Oh c’mon,” I moaned, “you’re both tooootally hot, and you haven’t touched at allllll.”

Suddenly, Lee picked me up and threw me on a random frat bro’s bed. “I guess your mouth IS gonna be busy,” he said, which was SOOO hot, and then he started slicking up my hole.

Pretty soon, both hunks were balls deep in me. They were SOOOOOO big [doodles of massive, soft cocks cover the margins of this page] and I took ALL of them. Lee filled me up SO good, rubbing my prostate like he was fingering me. And Nate tasted, like, perfect. And the whole time, Nate kept pulling back just far enough that I could watch him and Lee kissing over me.

FUCK, they made me look like a little doll between them! I think once they were in me, all the dominance stuff went away, because they were TOTALLY making out. Nate’s, like, SO noisy, and Lee kept on doing that growl thing like he’d done before, which made me moan around Nate’s cock, which made him even noisier.

I came handsfree right before Lee flooded my ass and Nate filled my mouth with cum.

By the time our clothes were back on, Lee and Nate were back to playing their weird dick measuring game, keeping me between them as we went back to the party. I think Nate left pretty soon, but I danced for a bit longer and made out with a few frat bros. They really ARE super cute now, and they all seemed totally into me. Guess they finally got over being raging fucking homophobes lmao.

Anyway, I got home and crashed as soon as I’d cleaned all the cum and sweat off. Now my hand’s all crampy from writing for so long lol. Oooh, I should go tell Ollie all about it!

[Day Three]

I was, like, SO right.

The last few days have been AWESOME!!!! [jagged star doodles all around the word] I swear there are soooo many hunks on campus all of a sudden! One of my profs this term is a tooootal musclestud.

So I’m taking this class on fashion history, and when I looked it up, this Prof. Romano guy was listed for it. He was cute, one of those cute tweed aesthetic guys. You know, a fag who studies fashion. Like, OMG, that picture must be SO OLD.

I show up for class all ready to sit in the back row, but then I see this MAN standing at the podium. Like, total Italian stallion, with the dark waves and the stubbly jaw. He was, like, BURSTING out of his blazer. I could watch his pec bounce through three layers of fabric.

So obv I run down and sit in the front row. I’m not the first fag to have the idea, there’s already like 3 other twinks down there, but I’m totally the cutest. As the rest of the class comes in and sits down, these two GORGEOUS boys walk in and go up to the prof. They’re totally shredded, and dressed in complementary button-ups. And the muscle-god prof pats each of them on the head! Then they go sit down in some chairs behind the podium, and I can see their boners in their cute slacks.

The prof clears his throat, and it’s this DEEP, RESONANT sound. I got a total eargasm just listening to the rumble. “Good morning, class,” he says. And then his next words are TOTALLY burned into my brain:

[written in shaky block letters across a whole page] “You will call me Alpha Mario.”

And then he says, “I am your professor, and I will see you all for extra credit,” while rubbing himself through his pants, like half the class isn’t ready to have his babies. My cock was ROCK FUCKING HARD in my jeans. [doodle of a leaking penis]

He introduces his TAs as Beta Max and Beta Owen. IDK, maybe it’s a kink thing? He’s clearly their dom or something, they were totally devoted to him all class. I’d happily be Alpha Mario’s Beta if he’s hiring, lmao! [hearts are doodled around “Alpha Mario”]

Anyway, that’s just one ep in the PORN SHOW that is my life these days! Ollie’s room has been, like, a revolving door of cock since we got back, and I usually take two or three loads a day out on campus. This group of straight computer science geeks actually begged to fuck me yesterday, so I was dripping all the way home.

They were surprisingly buff for nerds, too! I should point out to Ollie that we gotta hit the gym if we wanna keep up with all the boys on campus this term. Can you imagine? Us at the gym! [The rest of the page is covered in stickers of the laughing emoji]

[Day Four]

Went to the gym today! Not to workout, but I had this new outfit idea and I thought it might get me noticed if I just hung out in the locker room. OH BOY, was I right!

Last few days all my clothes have been feeling super tight, so I’ve been doing a lot of [scribbled in rainbow marker] SHOPPING. It’s too bad, all my old clothes were suuuuper cute, but I’ve started giving some of my old faves to repeat fuckbuddies. One of the guys who used to push me around for being faggy, this guy called Brendan, has been coming over for the last few nights. I never realised how cute he is before!

Anyway, the first night Brendan came over he throatfucked me, but last night he told me he really wanted to feel my fingers in his hole, so I started fingering him! It was soooo hot that my cock ended up totally hard and before I knew it HE was blowing ME while I rubbed his prostate. He’s been texting me all day, begging to service my cock again. Lol, he just sent a voice message all like, “Please, Ronaldo, I’ll do anything to make you cum again!”

My point is I gave him a pair of my old booty shorts. They fit him perfectly, even though he NEVER had an ass as nice as mine before. He’s been wearing them all day today, just like I told him. It’s so hot, knowing he’s showing off like a fag even though he used to be a straight homophobe.

Fuck, I was writing about MY clothes! I’ve been so distracted by hot beta boys the last few days. I thought it was kinda time to change up my style, plus I looked super hot trying on some more dude-type clothes, so here’s the pic of me I took while I was hanging out at the gym.

I had guys HANGING OFF OF ME after a few minutes. It was totally hot, they wanted to do anything I said. Before long, I had a bunch of hot guys kissing me all over and all the cocks I could want to suck. Guys kept running out to grab their hot friends to join us, and all these guys were focussed on me.

At one point one of the staff came in, and I could tell it was to tell us to stop. He was a cute guy, really filled out his work polo, you know how gyms always hire swole dudes and curvy gurls to work at the front desk. I just gave him this LOOK from the middle of my pile of dudes, and I could feel his straightness melt away as his cock started leaking in his preppy shorts.

But just as I was about to cum, my cap got ripped off my head and I was dragged out of the pile by Nate, the guy from that frat party. I swear, he got even BIGGER since last time, he held me up by my shoulders like I was a paperweight. He was totally growling at me, too. He said something like, “I hate when they’re half done,” whatever that means, and then he yelled at all the other boys to get back to work.

Once we were along in the locker room, Nate shook me like a doll. “All the ex-het Betas can treat my gym as neutral ground, but it’s MY territory to you and the other half-done Alphas, you got it?” [note: Alpha and Beta are capitalised in the original text, although Ronnie does not seem to have been aware of the Alpha Phenomenon]

I was like “What are you talking about?”

Nate said, “You’ll get it.” Then I started smelling this INCREDIBLE smell. It was like really sharp cedar cologne mixed with fresh sweat. There was something else too, and it made me feel totally out of it.

Next thing I knew, I was on my knees swallowing Nate’s cock again. “Yeah,” he was saying while he fucked my throat, “this’ll speed you up. You’ll probably never submit again after this, so I’m gonna enjoy it.”

I just stayed there, taking him all the way into my throat. I feel like a week ago it would’ve been totally hot, but today it felt different. Nate using me made me MAD [underlined several times]. I felt like I should do something about it, like punch him or steal one of his boys, but the smell coming off of him kept me docile.

Nate came really quietly, which made me madder. My throat is an incredible tool, okay? Any guy should be screaming when I blow him, especially a noisy top like Nate. Then he patted me on the head like I was a little boy and said, “Head home. Drop a load in that guy who lives across from you, he should be progressing well too.” Then he just. Walked away.

I was gonna stay here all night just to spite the asshole, but I’m super horny again and I don’t wanna go back out. Maybe I’ll go see if Ollie’s got any visitors tonight or if he wants me to fill his holes for him.

[Day Five]

[From this point, entries are written in a noticeably heavier hand. Lowercase Es and Os become jagged.] Fuck, last night was fucking awesome. I knocked on Ollie’s door, and he answered in nothing but a thong, showing his bottom growth right through the fabric. His legs have been getting so hairy and thick, he looked super slutty. Plus his room smelled like sex and cum. I’ve been sleeping out, but seems like Ollie’s been taking house calls.

“Ronaldo?” he said, blinking up at me in surprise. I think we used to be a matching pair of little twinks, but guess I’ve had a growth spurt.

I shoved through the door. What was he gonna do, stop me? I was like, “Where’s your lube?” It came out of my mouth so deep, in a crazy manly register. “I wanna finger you.”

Ollie fuckin’ moaned when I said that, and stumbled over to his night table to grab it. He keeps his lube right out in the open, proud of how much cock he takes. I was already dropping my jeans, my cock was getting super hard and I hate feeling it strain. It deserves to be seen anyway.

Once I grabbed Ollie’s lube, he stood against the wall and presented his ass for me. Fuck, just remembering the look of all that hair on his fat ass is making me leak again. Okay I jerked a bit, should be able to write. [there is a stain on the page here]

Ollie’s hole was still loose from his last dick appointment, so I pushed three fingers in nice and easy. Ollie was moaning, all, “When did your fingers get so thick,” and “What’s happening to us, Ronaldo?” so I roughed up his G-spot a bit until he wasn’t being so articulate anymore.

“What’s happening to us is we’re gonna rule this school,” I hissed at him. I’d realised that it wasn’t gonna be enough to finger him and make him blow me. I needed to shoot inside his ass right fucking now. “Fags are in fucking charge here now.”

Fuck, wait, I need to text Brendan and get him over here. I need him milking my cock so I can focus on writing.

[There are several crude doodles of dicks, asses, and cum splatters in various marker colours before the entry continues on the facing page]

So anyway I slammed Ollie against the wall and shoved my cock into him. My cock’s so much fucking bigger now, too. Like it’s really filling up Brendan’s mouth while he sucks on me. I had enough cock to really saw at Ollie's asshole, and I felt him cum handsfree onto the wall.

“That’s it,” I growled in his ear as I had to hold him up. “This is what you’ve wanted ever since we became neighbours, right? Ollie wanted to get Ronnie’s big alpha dick in his hole.” It felt good to call myself a

[in massive letters on its own line] ALPHA

Ollie didn’t really say words at that point, just lots of “Yes” and “More.” I could hear his voice getting deeper with every thrust, too.

By the time I was getting close, Ollie’s room reeked like ME. It wasn’t a bad smell, but I knew any boy who came in here would be able to tell that all this musk and spice wasn’t just Ollie. It would take weeks for this to be really Ollie’s territory again now that I had marked it. “Fuck, show me that man pussy,” I ordered him, and threw him down in his bed.

Switching holes felt like the most natural thing in the world. I’m fucking built for topping, I can’t believe I thought I hated it. I fucked Ollie through a couple more orgasms and then let myself fill up his man pussy with what felt like 3 loads.

I fell asleep still inside him.

FUCK. I just came in Brendan’s mouth, and it felt totally different. Like, I marked Ollie’s room, but I didn’t mark HIM. His holes are open for anyone to fill. He can own other boys for all I care. But Brendan? Brendan’s fucking MINE. He’s mine he’s mine he’s mine. MY Brendan. [scribbled hastily] I need his hole NOW.

[written later]

I took a pic of Ollie before I started fingering him. I bet he looks totally different now, like me. Gotta go, MY Brendan’s gonna show me how to do a gym session.

To Be Continued...

[astradyke]

hey so I've been a casual Dan & Phil fan for years but never really a part of the fandom. Recently started scrolling thru the tag and like...did I miss something? Have they actually said for real for real that they dated? Like I'm queer and tbh 2 gay guys living together for that long have to at least done *something* but I'm not an rpf person (no shade) but I do wanna be up to date on the Dan and Phil facts (phacts?) Obviously they're some kinda soulmates but tbh I know some queerplatonic soulmates who aren't *together* so idk if that's them or not. Am I missing receipts or is their relationship presumed given their whole situationship? Genuinely asking and no shade to your shipping intended.

hiya! i'll try to be succinct here but i might totally miss some things as a heads up :P

In Basically I'm Gay on the Daniel Howell channel, the same monologue that led to the description of them as soulmates also included the statement: "And that was when, through the magic of the Internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic [...] The relationship we formed, at that point, was something that I needed in my life." Despite "relationship" being a neutral, versatile term, the preceding sentence confirms they've been in an explicitly romantic relationship. along with that explicit confirmation, we also know from several other relics from 2009-2011 in particular that the two were at the very least actively flirting (I can retrieve a few formsprings for you that point to this if u want just lmk!). Additionally, in 2010, Phil made a privated video addressed to Dan that explicitly confirms a romantic relationship; this video was unprivated via a YouTube glitch in September 2011 and circulated heavily in late 2012. it was a serious incident that outed them and thus people don't talk much about it. I've never seen it in full-- it's pretty much off the Internet entirely due to copyright strikes-- and I really solely bring it up for context that they were dating at that period in time.

Basically I'm Gay only indicates a past romantic relationship, leaving their current one ambiguous, and both Dan and Phil's respective coming out videos state that they want to keep their personal dating lives private (both of these videos were released in 2019). Since then, though, there's one other explicit confirmation of their relationship-- I had a difficult time hunting down this exact interview in entirety, but my lovely mutual freckliedan helped me find the relevant screenshot:

[ID: In bold, the interviewer's text says: "So, just like a normal gay couple then?" Below, Dan's response is not in bold, and says, "Basically, yeah."]

I was able to find another screenshot at this post as well, which has the actual context confirming that they were discussing Phil previous to this. Now, obviously, this interviewer was a little forward in their questions, so I understand any reluctance in considering Dan's response-- however, Dan is a professional, and if he was sincerely uncomfortable with this line of questioning, I have faith in his ability to avoid answering it altogether. I therefore assume he knew what he was doing, and that this can be taken as a valid statement. This was from 2023 iirc.

Both of these excerpts-- from Basically I'm Gay and from this interview-- do suggest that Dan and Phil have a romantic relationship. On top of both of these more concrete confirmations, there's a lot more information/statements they've made public that corresponds with a romantic relationship, even if none of them are technically exclusive to romantic relationships.

A brief list: They've lived together for approximately 13-15 years, and bought a house together with a mortgage (for brevity's sake, I'll exclude other things that kind of pair with this). They make frequent sex jokes on their channel, several of which stating things about the other's sexual preferences. They recently went on holiday together, just the two of them, and given the tourism biz and how they discussed the holiday it seems like they were in a place intended for couples. Phil's sister in law, Cornelia, refers to Dan as an uncle to her child. They use pet names for each other. They frequently joke with the phandom, riffing off of jokes about their relationship (reacting to posts saying they are in a situationship, making a joke about having a joint toilet, etc.) This is most arguable, but it's highly likely that they share a bed as well (again, going off of the images/videos they've shown us of 'Dan's bedroom'). Lastly, other interviews with Dan include him being highly verbose about his relationship with Phil, but he's referred to him briefly as his "husband" in a long list of other words like "soulmates" and "just mates", ending with "who the fuck knows?", in one past interview (I have a picture of this but I can't attach it rn I can find it if you'd like though!)

It's not impossible that Dan and Phil's relationship isn't currently romantic, and even operating off of the assumption that it is, there's information we don't know about that (whether they're monogamous or polyamorous, for example, or whether or not they share a bed). It honestly just seems unlikely that their relationship is queerplatonic, given the past statements indicating that it has been romantic historically and the interview (+ supplemental evidence) suggesting that it currently is (I am very aware of the variation in QPRs, though, so I'm sympathetic to that interpretation from folks. However, I also understand that many explicitly romantic partnerships are considered to be QPRs-- in media or with real people-- in a way that contributes to gay erasure. It's nuanced and I am not the person best equipped to eloquently discuss it). Obviously, just to underscore here, we are not owed any information about their personal lives and the vast majority (if not the entirety) of the phandom just riffs off of the information they tell us, all of which happen to point to a romantic relationship. They clearly don't have any discomfort in us assuming this, and I personally don't believe they'll ever give us any more conclusive statement about their relationship any time soon, given that they've told us enough that the implication of a romantic partnership is pretty solidly there.

TLDR: Dan and Phil have "hard launched" (AKA released information that portrays their relationship as irrefutably romantic) 2-3 times. There is also other more indirect information that seems to confirm a romantic relationship, though if one wanted to, it could be read as non-romantic-- however, given those conclusive statements, and the current way they treat phandom commentary about their relationship (AKA not giving a shit), it is the effective conclusion that they are in a romantic relationship. Other conclusions, such as them being queerplatonic or them having broken up, seem to rely on a lot of critical assumptions, while the idea that they are in a romantic relationship is in line with their own statements as well as what we generally see out of them.

Thank you for your patience and your very kind ask! PS calling it "phacts" is funny as fuck, I did not utilize that verbiage here through my reply but you were a visionary for this. have a lovely one :D

PS. If any folks want to add, or if I missed something when glancing back over this and corrections are needed, please please please share! I am so deeply not a phandom history i am simply a little guy! much love

[project-sekai-archives]

mizu5 leaks >.<

mizuki: ena... I- I hid something from you. from all of niigo.

ena: .... what is it, mizuki?

mizuki: i... i...

ena: ..!

mizuki: I'm sure you've all heard about the recent allegations against me, and I knew I couldn't stay silent about this any longer. It's time to finally come clean and explain exactly what happened, and the steps that I'm taking to address the problem.First of all, let me say that I am sorry. I know I fucked up, and I can't take back what I've done. I'm a human, and sometimes I make mistakes. That's not an excuse, but it is the truth. My heart goes out to the people that may or may not have been harmed by my actions. A number of people - I won't name names - have spoken out against what I've done, and they're right to do so. I deeply regret my actions, and while I don't expect them to forgive me, I do hope that the actions I've taken since to prevent this from happening again will help ease their suffering. I was in the wrong here, and they have every right to be angry at me. Are all of their accusations true? Who's to say. Many of the things they have allegedly claimed I have done may have been true, and many of them might not have been. It's important to consider the context that these words or actions might have taken place in, and withhold judgement until all the facts about this situation have become more clear. A lot of misinformation has been spreading about the things I did, and no one, not even me, can be entirely sure what exactly took place.That being said, I deeply regret what happened, and take full responsibility for the consequences of whatever it was that I did. I had an opportunity to try and make things better, and it's clear that the choices I made were wrong, and only made things worse. I know that these words won't make everything right. Nothing I can do now will make this easier for the people who were affected by my actions, and I don't expect it to. All I can do now is be as honest as possible and make sure everyone understands why I did what I did. This whole experience has been extremely humbling, and has shown me how important it is to consider to consequences of carelessness for someone in my position. I have dedicated myself to ensuring that the things I have done will never happen again, in all likelyhood.Above all else, I want everyone to know that my heart goes out to those who were involved in this, and that I am taking total responsibility for what I have done. I hope you will consider all the facts I have laid out here, and come to your own conclusions about this whole situation.Finally, if anyone else feels the need to publicly apologize, or respond to accusations against them, I'd like to offer this thread as a space to do so. The public deserves to understand these situations from all sides, and I hope we can open a dialogue to make sure that these kinds of incidents don't happen again.

[anon-amiss]

Wally x Frustrated!Artist Reader

(Platonic or Romantic)

Summary:

Reader has had a frustrating day with people saying mean things about their art. Wally proceeds to comfort them. Context: Reader may enter and exit Welcome Home, the show, at their own free will. There will be another oneshot to explain this for the future. Trigger Warnings?: Some angst(??), unsolicited criticism, sad reader :(

You just about had it. You didn't know whether you wanted to cry or yell, but it was tempting to do either. You held your sketchbook tight to your body, walking away from the scene to avoid any possible outburst you would have had if you'd stayed any longer.

You remembered how it all started. You had just finished a drawing you made, colouring, shading, and all. It was beautiful to stare at. You couldn't even believe you made it. Of course there might have been a few mistakes here and there, but it was still so gorgeous to you.

You were at the library with some buddies, so it was expected one of them would have taken notice of your attention's sudden ensnarement caused by the paper in front of you. They looked over and poked your shoulder.

You focused your attention back to them and gave a quiet hum, tilting your head in the process.

"What're you doing?" They asked, peering over at the paper.

"Oh! I just finished a drawing! I guess I just couldn't keep my eyes off it, huh?" You responded, placing your hand on your neck and rubbing it with some embarrassment. They gave a light chuckle and stared back at the drawing, before looking to you and smiling.

"It looks great!"

You perked up and felt your heart flutter. "Really?" You were sincerely glad to hear this, knowing how much you've been struggling to gain confidence in your art. They nodded and continued staring. "I was thinking of posting it online! I really like the way I did the lineart and colours on this! It's the first time I felt this proud of anything I've made, really!"

"Yeah, totally! I mean, I don't think a lot of people will really give it a like, but it's still really good!"

Your smile faltered if only for a second. "Uh, yeah?" Now what the hell did that mean?

"I mean, it's good. It's just that I don't think the algorithm will make it as popular as you think."

You felt your cheeks flush, a deep pit forming in your stomach. You felt as if you made a big mistake. "Um... Yeah. I guess."

They noticed your newly formed grimace and hummed. "Again, it's not bad. I don't get why you look so devastated."

You felt taken aback by their comment and scoffed. "Well, I know what you mean by the algorithm and all, but you don't think it's just a tad messed up to say something like that- like-- out of no where?"

"Not really. I mean, I said it's good. I'm not going to say it's a masterpiece or whatever if that's what you're asking me to do. There's still some mistakes like how the lighting is going off from different directions and stuff."

"Wow, um, okay. I didn't ask you to do a single thing, but alright."

"I just don't get why you're so upset. I told you it's good."

You nodded and got up from your seat, pushing the chair in behind you and grabbing your belongings. "Sorry, you're right. I'm just gonna go home now."

"Uh, alright."

That's when you left. You really didn't want to apologize, but you sure as hell knew that if you stayed and argued, they would have probably said some more upsetting things. They would have gotten frustrated with you, and that would have made you feel guilty. You knew you weren't the wrong one in this kerfuffle, but you still felt the heaviness of the words they had told you.

When you got home, you immediately walked into your room with the same deep weight in your heart. You couldn't stop thinking of their words. To hear the validation only to be hit with a backhanded comment like that felt like if someone just handed you a two question based homework assignment with sub-questions.

You lifted the drawing from your chest and stared at it, looking at the inconsistent lighting, your eyes darting back and forth from the once excellent linework to the botched details of the small things like colouring outside the lines.

Maybe you shouldn't post this.

You gave a heavy sigh and felt your face droop.

You sat on your bed and stared at the ground, pondering for a moment before a loud ring began to encroach on your hearing. You shot your eyes to the red telephone on your desk. You almost forgot. You grabbed your sketchbook and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

You closed your eyes right before the bright, flashing colours could hinder your vision, opening them only a second later to find yourself at Home. In Home, to be more exact.

You sighed in relief, seeing a figure run up to you excitedly.

"Hello, neighbour!"

It was Wally. You almost forgot about your deal. You promised to visit him every day at a specific time, or at the least check up with him, in exchange for the promise that he would not leave Home. (This was out of fear of what they would do to him if someone figured out he was a sentient muppet.)

"Hi, Wally," you greeted back, walking up to him with less energy than usual.

"I was worried when you didn't call right on time. I waited, but after ten more minutes, I thought I should call you myself. I hope that's okay?" He sounded so full of guilt. You couldn't help but give him a soft smile.

He was always trying his best to make sure you weren't upset with him. Part of you felt like maybe it was because you were the only person he had contact with in the real world and would be afraid of driving you away, but another part of you felt like maybe it was just second nature to him. He was one of the most genuinely caring personalities you've met.

"Aw, Wally. Of course it's okay. I find it sweet, honestly. I'm sorry for not calling sooner. I sort of um..." You stared at your sketchbook and faltered. "I was caught up in some business."

You switched your focus to him and chuckled. "It won't happen again. I promise."

"Im glad to hear that, neighbour!" Wally's gaze was fixated on you intently. An uncomfortable silence weaving its way into a brightly colourful world full of friendy critters and muppets seemed impossible, really, but here you were, waiting patiently for the solace of any action or word to appear, only to find nothing in return.

It felt like the world was paused, with you and Wally being the only inhabitants with the ability to wander as you pleased.

"So what's happ-"

"Are you okay?" Wally interrupted, his unending smile still resting on his face.

You found this question odd at first. Were you being that obvious?

"Um.. Honestly?- I'm not as happy as I should be right now. Sorry if it was noticeable."

"Don't apologize, dear! It's only natural to feel upset! Did something happen?" Wally made his way to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to show you that he was here for you.

You exhaled with a smile. He was really considerate. You only knew him for about three weeks now, and he was still so kind to you.

"Well, it's a bit of a long story."

"I have all the time in Home!"

You chuckled and nodded, setting yourself down on the nearby grass with ease. "Alright, well.." You placed your sketchbook down next to you as Wally copied your action, sitting across from you with an engaged gaze. "I was really happy about something I made today, and I thought I did a great job."

Wally nodded as you spoke.

"I'm not usually ever happy with stuff I do, so this was really exciting for me," you continued, staring down at your sketchbook and lifting it up to meet your vision. "One of the people I knew came up to me and told me that it was good, so I was obviously excited, but then they said something that kind of hurt, and when they noticed that what they said hurt, they just kept saying more mean things."

You stared at the drawing and sighed. You looked back at Wally and gave him a sort of displeasured look. "I left, and now I can't stop thinking about what they said, so now I'm just lost on whether or not I was right to feel as happy as I did the first time I saw my fully made work."

Wally nodded and tilted his head, redirecting his concentration to the drawing pad you held. "Did you draw something?" He inquired with a softer tone. You nodded in response.

He hummed and looked back at you. "Would it be okay if I took a look?"

You hesitated for the smallest moment before nodding. You shouldn't have to give it a second thought. Wally was an artist like you, so maybe he would understand a bit more. He reached out, gently grabbing onto the book and staring at the recent page you used.

"...No critiques please," you mumbled, feeling embarrassed that you even had to ask that. Wally's pupils seemed to be moving fast. You tried reading his expression, worrying a little bit when you realized how hard that actually was.

"It's.. It's so beautiful."

You exhaled with a big smile. "Really?" You tried not to get your hopes up this time, so you dialed your excitement back down a bit.

Wally kept staring at the drawing, his eyes never seemed to stop moving. It was as if he was trying to memorize it for himself in the future.

"Of course it is! This colour.. This design! It's wondeful! I'm really astonished, dear! I don't understand how anyone could ever say such crude things about this!" He sat up straight, looking at you with a wider smile than before, his pupils larger than ever. "Why, I'm so proud to have such a creative and talented neighbour like you! I really have no words! I'd frame this if possible!"

Overwhelmed with joy, you began to giggle and tear up. This was a lot for you. Wally really seemed to love it, and it was more than enough to fill the pit in your stomach with butteflies. You felt like your heart would have fluttered out of your mouth if he continued any longer.

He said he was proud to have you as a neighbour.

It could almost make you cry, and without realizing, you did.

Wally jumped at this reaction and set the drawing down. "I'm sorry! Did I say something wrong?" He scooted closer to you, feeling very concerned about his words. As he was getting closer, you pushed your body forward and wrapped him a tight hug. He let out a noise of surprise before going limp in your arms.

"Sorry, you did nothing wrong, I'm just so happy!" You held onto him tight. Wally chuckled and nuzzled his head on your shoulder.

"I'm happy you're happy, neighbour!"

You let go after half a minute and wiped your tears away. Wally regained his motion again, grabbing the sketchbook and handing it to you.

"We should definitely draw together sometime, dear! You're very talented! If there's one thing I would want to tell you, it's that you should never doubt your skills, especially if you're proud of what you've made! I'm sorry someone said something terrible to you. You shouldn't pay any attention to them," he rambled, planting a hand on your leg as you took the drawing pad back.

"Don't worry too much about that, I feel much better now that you've helped me," you replied, fiddling with the pages of your book. "You always know what to say."

He nodded and stared deep into your eyes, the world going silent once again as you began to notice this eye contact. "I love to see you smile."

Your face flushed. "I.. Um, thanks! I love your smile too!" He continued staring and sighed, his eyelids beginning to droop ever-so-slightly. You felt yourself become at ease. Normally, you'd feel uncomfortable with staring at someone for too long, but he was hard to look away from. You oddly felt tired.

You cleared your throat. "So about that collaboration," you blurted.

"Oh, yes! What time would you like to draw?" Wally asked, perking up and smiling greatly.

"We could now, if you want." You simpered at his mannerisms. He acted like an excited puppy. His pupils dilated as you finished your sentence.

"Nothing would make me happier!"

"Then let's get goin'!"

You both got up from the grassy spot and headed towards his home with more bounce in your step than ever.

"I love you, neighbour!" Wally exclaimed.

"I love you too, Wally."

End.

Notes: There may be some minor spelling mistakes here and there, so feel free to correct me on that stuff. This is my first time posting a fic on Tumblr, so sorry if the format is weird.

This story is kinda based on something that actually happened to me (besides the wally part lol, that would have been cool). I decided, why not share with other people who experienced similar things?

Asks and requests are open, so feel free to stop by my account and leave a request!

[bobbinbugs]

Entrapment: marriage, sacrifices, and gilded cages in Silksong

This is a massive, fully-sourced essay encompassing all the marriage symbolism we have for Silksong and the full breadth of its connotations. This thing is a beast in five parts: mind that readmore!

Part 1: a presentation of evidence

Rather than diving right into analysis, we need to set the stage with information gathered and analyzed by the talented people of the HK tumblr community, to whom this would not be possible without.

Hornet starts the game captured in a gilded cage, carried off by small, faceless creatures in white. as pointed out by ganymeadesclock, these characters are most likely religious figures, and Lace, while not one of the cultists, is most likely associated with them... somehow.

Furthermore, marriage symbolism. I won't reiterate myself overmuch, so look here, here, and here for various pieces I've managed to collect. No matter how you slice it, Lace is absolutely drowning in marriage symbolism, right down to her name. It does feel quite notable, then, that Hornet and Lace have similar cages, don't they? Lace's quite strongly resembles a decorative birdcage, actually, and Hornet's a fishbowl; (Aside: though the latter is a bit of a stretch.) enclosures too small to support an animal's wellbeing, but perfect for displaying them. Almost like, perhaps, a trophy bride?

Part 2: marriage as a gilded cage

This was going to have a excerpt from my essay on the unicorn tapestries, but it's already long enough as is. This segment and the following cannot analyze Silksong directly due to lack of information, but we can draw throughlines from the classic and epic literature Team Cherry draws inspiration from, and the history surrounding them.

Marriage has traditionally been a transfer of property throughout much of our world, not an act of love between two consenting parties. While a married woman would have the freedom to manage her husband's property in his absence, when he was around, she belonged to him; in marrying, she transfers from her father's ownership to her husband's. Marriage has been a total sacrifice of freedom for a woman in exchange for her "safety," which, considering how difficult it is to leave domestic abuse (Aside: Even more so in the times where woman could not own property or money, and divorce was not legal), is a perfect example of gilded cage.

This is a summary, and I recommend checking out these pieces on marriage abolition and medieval marriage culture for further context. Primarily, I'm trying to convey a certain degree of dread to emphasize why Hornet may be running herself ragged in Pharloom: her freedom may be deeply at stake.

Aside: There's also a throughline of queerness and the imprisonment of heterosexual marriage, and how it may relate to Lace attempting to free her and why Lacenet could be both canon and fascinating, but I won't delve into it here.

Part 3: A foray into ancient greece: marriage as a sacrifice

If you're a Greek mythology nerd like me, you may have noticed an odd connecting thread between Persephone, Psyche, and Antigone. All three are connected by their status as young virgin brides, but also by perversion of marriage rites in their stories. Persephone is abducted to the underworld (the land of the dead) and bound forever to a man via eating pomegranate seeds: a symbolic "seeding" (read: impregnation) if you will. Psyche, when taken away to be married, has instead funeral rites conducted for her, and she spends her honeymoon afraid of the invisible monster she married. And last, Antigone, the death-bride marching towards her funeral-wedding, thigh to thigh with her brother in the grave.

Present along the same thread is imagery of distraught mothers and sisters: Persephone's mother grieves and wails and sets a blight on the earth searching for her daughter; Psyche's sisters weep to leave her on the rock; Ismene tries to share the blame of Antigone's crime, punishable by death, so she would not be without her sister, or vice-versa.

A few feminist interpretations have been offered, but the most common is that to a Grecian mother, her daughter has been taken away from her home, never to be seen again. A marriage, to a sister or mother, is a sacrifice: A young girl is taken away from the comfort of her household into a scary, unfamiliar world, where she must learn quickly about herself and her body without the guidance of people - particularly women - she knows and loves.

Don't forget, either, that rape did not initially refer strictly to sexual assault, but the act of kidnapping a girl as a marriage rite. (Aside: The bride's consent does not matter; only her father's. Why do you think the term evolved to mean sexual violence?)

Sound familiar?

And the perversion of the marriage rite doesn't end there. Churches, a notable location in Pharloom, don't just marry people; they are also where funerals are conducted. And, if you listen to the Silksong trailer, you will hear the Dies Irae - the Funeral Mass - note for note.

But the perversion of the rite does not end there. Even more disturbing is the presence of consumption as a theme. As I said here:

Oh I am THINKING about Silksong tonight... How Lace says “Poor little morsel” and “delicious,” implying not only Pharloom would consume her, Lace is on the side of what’s doing the consuming. How spiders frequently feed on their own kind, especially in massive community web systems... whatever’s up with Pharloom, it’s going to eat Hornet alive.

A sacrifice, in its most traditional sense, is to give a deity sustenance, at an expense, in exchange for the prosperity of the many.

Part 4: Lace as Κανηφόρος and her religious duties: wild speculation!

Let's revisit Lace as a religious figure - and a potentially important often. If Hornet is the sacrifice, what does that make Lace?

From wikipedia:

The Kanephoros ... was an honorific office given to unmarried young women in ancient Greece, which involved the privilege of leading the procession to sacrifice at festivals ... The role was given to a virgin selected from amongst the aristocratic or Eupatrid families of Athens whose purity and youth was thought essential to ensure a successful sacrifice. Her task was to carry a basket or kanoun (κανοῦν), which contained the offering of barley or first fruits, the sacrificial knife and fillets to decorate the bull in procession through the city up to the altar on the acropolis. ... A girl who acted as kanephoros would have advertised the central place of her family in Athenian society, and her own availability for a dynastic marriage.

Wait, up through the city? That sounds...

Hornet, princess-protector of Hallownest, finds herself alone in a vast, unfamiliar world. She must battle foes, seek out allies, and solve mysteries as she ascends on a deadly pilgrimage to the kingdom’s peak.

...Awfully familiar.

And, interestingly, whatever ritual centering around Hornet we're spiraling towards, Hornet seems to be willfully - if unknowingly - marching towards it, and Lace seems intent on stopping it in its tracks.

I suspect she will not only be the rival won over role, but the betrayer. Lace is not to be wedded, but Hornet. Lace's role is to sacrifice Hornet at the proper time and place, and her goal before then is to stop Hornet from doing so, by any means necessary.

The final battle will almost certainly involve Lace, and in the worst ending, she will most likely be the one to deal the final blow and complete the rite. We're in pure speculative territory, but we already have the visual symbolism that Lace is just as trapped as Hornet. What is a betrayal if not duty, or a desire to save her own skin, winning over compassion?

Part 5: Disclaimers, Clarifications, and Conclusions

This is not to say I think this will be a recreation of Grecian ritual. Far from it: I don't even claim that marriage and misogyny will be a theme in anything other than visual symbolism, and I strongly doubt hornet's skill and status will ever be disputed due to her womanhood. Simply not Team Cherry's style! Until Silksong comes out, this is mere extrapolation.

But through Team Cherry's strong visual storytelling, I feel confident drawing allusions. The crushing prison of gilded cages, the marriage imagery, the subtle perversion of rite in the trailer, all spells out one thing:

Hornet is to be married or sacrificed.

But then again, what's the difference?

A special thank you to the minds of @ganymedesclock, my mutual @rukafais, and @ruthlesslistener, whose analysis was crucial to piecing this massive theory/analysis together. And for my mutuals who might be interested: @voidsiblings, @halloween-cats, @imminent-danger-came, @croissantk, @electricabsolution, and @toapenguin

[snailsnaps]

Part 2 of a Computer Science student's analysis of the FNAF: SB intro

Full with tech lingo, abundant personal interpretations, and translations so that my tech illiterate fellas may undertand whatever the fuck im yapping about!

This post is written under the context that you've read my last analysis. I highly recommend you first check out these two posts before continuing with this one if you haven't already: > First post + Continuation ( IMPORTANT!! ) > An addition to the first post

Once you've read through those two (three?) posts, come back here! You're back? You've read them? Awesome! Let's begin then. =)

Reminder! This analysis has been done based off of my own understanding of the subject of both computing and programming - which I am currently studying. I would also like to yet again shout out this reddit post, that also gives a great perspective. Definitely check it out if you're interested later!

Also I have not re-read this, you may find typos - don't hold it against me, they will be fixed, someday =(

Now then, fellas, this is where shit gets wild.

Last post, I talked about the command box we can see at the top right corner of the intro - what each command did and how it basically corresponded to what happens to freddy in the events of the intro.

However, you might recall I mentioned a second command box, the one found at the left side of the screen. This command box is by far the most important piece of information we have throughout the entire duration of the intro. Mostly, because it changes 3 times.

It changes a total of 3 times in the time it takes for the right command box to finish.

Each time it changes, it displays new lines of code. And every single line of code it displays, tells us a lot about what is happening to Freddy.

This is the first block of code that we get:

system32> Get-568_win heat_869%yTnu_bl8 lvl_b> 228.wst serial.dot_btb rec.556> dtd /

You might inmediately realize that the first line of code from this command box matches exactly the one from the first analysis. Here are both of them as comparison.

Hopefully, you've already made the connection. This command box is the one possibly being run by the Glitchtrap/Vanny Virus. Whatever lines of code appear on the command box to the left, are the ones being executed by the Virus - and they affect Freddy in real time. However, the command box on the right ir Freddy's, so to speak.

Both CLI (command line interfaces) are being run at the same time - yet independently of one another. Keep this in mind.

I don't want to go too in depth with this first block of code. All you need to know is that it moves around some directories and runs something called 'dtd', wich could be a command or a program.

The next two blocks of code, however? Ohhh damn... This is it, fellas. This is what I've been waiting for.

Now, I want you to know that this doesn't quite resemble any 'real' code, at least not at first glance. I do believe that it is a very 'condensed' form of the Python programming language, since the syntaxing of the commands shown here somewhat resemble how a string written in Python would look like.

So, I have taken the time to try to decipher what each line means, and what they do. And well, let's just say it explains why Freddy wasn't affected by the Virus in the first place.

def rule(x) return warning78 init; self_overdrive abort(3)RTLKt abort(5)XGE END

This is the second block of code that we're shown, so lets break it down.

def rule(x) return warning78 init;

This string would define "rule" as a function, specifying "x" as the parameter. Basically, this line specifies that if the command rule is inputted, it should return whatever value (or argument) x has taken.

Normally, define is followed by a return function, which is why I've shown them together, as well as the init; command.

The command return followed by "warning78", makes it so whenever we call upon the function rule, it shows us whatever warning78 may be - and judging as to what happens in the intro, it could be any of the multiple warnings that appear in Freddy's GUI. Or it could also easily be the big "WARNING!" message that can be seen the entire time near the top of the screen.

Lastly, the init; command isn't exactly a standardized python command - but it is a common abreviation of the initialization command, where in the field of programming, it means "the assignment of an initial value for a data object or variable". Basically, it's when you assign the initial values and variables to a program so it can start.

All in all, these three lines create a command that, when called upon, gives out the warning78.

self_overdrive

Again, not really a python function, but important nontheless. This command doesn't have a specific meaning, but we can try to understand what it does.

The term overdrive doesn't really exist in the field of computing/programming. However, it is asociated with overclocking - "the practice of increasing the clock rate of a computer to exceed that certified by the manufacturer" - Overdrive is also a term in the field of music, also known as distorsion, which is when you force an amplifier to output past its limits.

Both of these definitions go around the same concept, pushing a computer to its limits so that it works better, or faster - even while it possibly damages the computer.

We can then assume that the function self_overdrive is making Freddy's system run pasts its usual limits. Which is why I believe Freddy's integrity level plumits during the intro.

abort(3)RTLKt abort(5)XGE END

Lastly, we have these three lines.

The abort function isn't a real python function - but I believe you can asume what it does. Both lines are attempting to kill something - a program, a process, another function... However, I am not sure wether these two are really functions, since they could very easily be error handling messages. Essencially, warning messages that the system returns when something crashes, for example.

The last line, END, specifies the end of this string of code.

Which leads us to the third and last block of code. The one which in my professional opinion, is the one that reveals to us why Freddy's cool with us during Security Breach! =]

report.NULL gridlock [ax674] init_task>void alloc [overload] SW.failure return /

THIS IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, FRIENDS. THIS IS IT. This is the part where I had the most fun with this analysis...

report.NULL

Now, usually report, in the field of programming and software, it means to record or log something. For example an error log, or crash log. However, it being followed by NULL could also mean that this is an error handling message of sorts.

In computing, Null is, well, zero. It's nothing. It's the absence of value, when something that should be there, isn't.

From this, we could gather that this is a warning message that attempted to report something, yet failed to find anything to report back. No value at all.

...or, we could take this line literally. Taking into consideration that this code is being executed by the virus - this line of code could be taken as an attempt by the virus to stop Freddy's system from freaking out.

Remember that this entire code is being executed as Freddy's actively getting a big flashing WARNING! message. So, this line of code could be an effort to silence it, returning a null value to a warning message.

Both scenarios are plausible, so stick with the one you think fits best!

gridlock [ax674]

This one... man... this line was wild. It's where everything clicked for me. You will want to ignore the characters [ax674], what we truly care about is the first word: gridlock.

You see, a gridlock isn't really a term used in computing at all. It is a term refering to a "severe congestion of traffic, where continuous queues of vehicles block an entire intersection". HOWEVER, gridlock is also known as another term for deadlock.

A deadlock is what's known as a stalemate. A situation where two opposing parties come to a point where no progress can be made. In programming, it means basically the same thing.

A situation where two processes can't proceed, since both of them are waiting for the other to release a resource. Now, imagine this scenario. We have two processes, A and B, and two resources, R1 and R2.

Process A is currently using resource R1.

Process B is currently using resource R2.

Process A requests resource R2, but is blocked because it's held by Process B.

Process B requests resource R1, but is blocked because it's held by Process A.

Now... imagine this situation, but with Freddy, and the virus.

What we most likely have here, the line gridlock [ax674], is an error handling message, warning that a deadlock is ocurring. The string of characters beside it has no meaning, and could easily be but an error handling code of sorts.

init_task>void

I've explained before that init is the abreviation of initialization. So, we can gather that this is a command that is attempting to initialize a task. Now then, in the context of the previous line, this one could mean one of two things:

The virus is attempting to initialize a task (a set of instructions) called void.

The virus is attempting to initialize a task, however, due to the deadlock, it returns this line as an error message, indicating a void return. In programming, when a function returns the word void, it usually means that the function was not able to return a value. It is similar to Null, yet not the same.

Either of these could be a posibility, so I will leave it to your personal interpretation.

And here it when it all goes to hell...

alloc [overload] SW.failure return

Alloc is not a real function, but it can be considered an abreviation of the word allocation. In computing, the allocation is the assignment of memory and resources to the various processes the system may have.

Proper memory and resource allocation is very important in a computer. As you may know, a computer as a limited amount of RAM it can work with, and the same goes for it's processing power. But, for example, what happens when you try to allocate resources that aren't available?

Well, a lot of things may happen. Mainly, the program could hang, the process could freeze - or the entire system could crash!

Remember earlier, we saw that it was likely that Freddy and the virus were in a deadlock. Yet, the Virus tried to allocate more resources to itself... Which overloaded the system, and likely resulted in the next line.

SW.failure has no real meaning - but I've interpreted the first two characters [SW] as software. This would make this line an error message warning about a software failure.

So... What does this all mean? How does it all tie together? Why didn't Freddy get infected by the Virus? Because it got too greedy. It tried to allocate too many resources/memory, overloaded the system and crashed both itself and Freddy.

Why only Freddy, though? Why didn't this happen to the other animatronics? That... I'm not sure. I believe this is more of a lore question rather than computer question.

In my opinion, I don't think this was a case of 'Freddy knew that he was getting infected by a virus, and fought back'. I'm leaning more to the posibility of it being a 'wrong place wrong time' type of situation... or maybe 'right place right time'? In general, a lot of factors and a lot of different things happened that lead to this specific scenario happening.

Anyways, this is it! This has been my analysis - or nerdy infodumping, if you please.

I do hope that I was able to teach you something today, and that this whole analysis helps you understand the animatronics a bit better - and helps you with future fanfics, comics, AUs, artworks... whatever!

One last reminder - if you have any more questions about this stuff, my ask box is open! I love talking about this stuff!!

Oh, and, coming soon...

DJMM's Bouncer Mode ! A theory by a computer science student as to why it's still present, and why it makes him so aggressive.

[severus-snaps]

Snape in the eyes of Pureblood Supremacists in Slytherin

Back at it again because I've had more thoughts following 'Mudblood' and Muggle-borns on Snape's youth and time in school (I started this what feels like so long ago, got overinvested, lost steam, and then just abandoned it - but might as well put it out there since I've made it Lengthy now. Welcome to part two of my half-baked metas, as it were).

A lengthy mixture of me projecting about Snape's early attitudes to blood supremacy and upbringing; the timeline of Snape's school years and the War; Snape's appearance and first impressions to his housemates (and others); Slytherin 'friendships' through the lens of what we see in the books from Harry's generation, and Snape's alluded-to 'friendships' with Lucius and the 'gang of Slytherins'; and the role of blood purity in Slytherin.

In A War Context

Going back in time for a moment, starting from the fateful night where the series begins:

31 October, 1981 Voldemort is vanquished. This is the same night that one-year-old Harry was sent to live with the Dursleys. We also see Snape crying in Dumbledore's office that night, in Snape's memories.

September 1981 Snape started teaching probably a month before that, age 21 (14 years prior to Umbridge's inquiries in the starting term of 1995).

Late Autumn/Winter 1980 (to early winter 1981) Snape turned spy when Voldemort decided the Prophecy applied to the Potter family. Scene on the 'windy hilltop' probably followed ver shortly after Snape finding out.

31 July 1980 Harry is born.

Autumn/Winter 1979 Snape overhears part of the prophecy and relays it to Voldemort.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies..."

[Note: I've made some assumptions. Trelawney tells Umbridge in September 1995 that she started work at Hogwarts "nearly sixteen years" ago. Hogwarts traditionally follows a British school calendar, with terms starting in September (autumn term) and January (spring term). Assuming she starts in time for a new term, if she started in the autumn (September 1979), and assuming the interview was some time before her appointment in time for a new term, her interview might have taken place in the summer of 1979, around June, July, or August - but she probably would've just said "sixteen years" instead of "nearly", so... If she started in the spring term (January 1980): Her interview could have been held in late 1979, possibly around November or December 1979, assuming that the intervew was held a short but reasonable amount of time before she took the role, and perhaps during the holidays. Seeing as JKR likes Halloween (aka All Hallows' Evening) as a date, she may well have delivered the prophecy on Halloween - and possibly the literal moment Harry was conceived. What a thought.]

However, I'm just as bad (if not worse) as JKR with numbers and dates, so please do correct me if this is total nonsense.

31 October 1979 Harry is possibly conceived, assuming a perfect 9 month pregnancy.

1979 Regulus Black dies. There's a flimsy bit of evidence to suggest Snape was Marked/started working for Voldemort in summer 1979 (imagine if it was Harry's future birthday lol) but really it could've been author error, putting Snape's joining the DEs (to my mind) any time from the aftermath of SWM onwards - but what use would Voldemort have for Snape when he's in school for another few years under Dumbledore's watchful eye, and has no money, information, or connections yet? (Unlike Regulus, who had a well-known, affluent Pureblood family, and the ability to use magic/research the Dark Arts at home as well as at school - this is, of course, assuming that Snape can't use magic freely at home because his father doesn't like magic or anything, much).

June 1978 Snape graduates from & leaves Hogwarts. "By the time [the Marauders] left school, Lord Voldemort’s ascendancy was almost complete. True resistance to him was concentrated in the underground organisation called the Order of the Phoenix..." [X]

1977/1978 Regulus Black joins the Death Eaters.

June 1976 "Snape's Worst Memory". Snape & Lily's friendship ends. Fear of Voldemort is already so ingrained that people won't use his name; Lily calls him "You-Know-Who". His followers are also widely known to be called "Death Eaters" by this time.

Early 1976 (approx.) The Prank. Shortly after, Lily 'accuses' Snape of hanging out with Mulciber and Avery. [Neither of these friends - nor any members of the 'gang' Sirius mentioned Snape belonging to - seem to want to hang out after exams or protect him from being hunted for sport during SWM (June 1976; during OWLS), nor are they ever mentioned to retaliate by a Marauder, so perhaps that 'gang' membership came later (c. 1978 in Snape's 7th year). Alternatively they were all already friends, but I'll go into more depth into the flimsiness of Slytherin friendships later. Just from info from the book text, it would be reasonable to assume the 'gang' attended school all at the same time - but Bellatrix was mentioned among them, by her married surname, and her generally given date of birth from wherever that sort of information comes from (seriously, I can't find a source that isn't the wiki) suggests that that she'd be too old to attend school with Snape - so who knows where Sirius got that from. There's also the fact that Sirius introduces Bellatrix as a Lestrange in the 'gang' context and not a Black, which suggests that she's already left school and married at a young age by the time Snape is in the gang. 'Early' marriage is normal for wizarding society after all - or perhaps it simply means that Sirius didn't want to associate her with his surname.]

Autumn 1975 - Summer 1976 Marauders 'finally managed' their Animagus transformations in their fifth year. [This had certainly happened by Summer 1976/SWM, as they had their nicknames by then, derived from their Animagi forms and Sirius wants it to be a full moon so they can run around.

As for whether the Marauders managed their transformations prior to the Prank, I've seen arguments saying that it is likely to have happened prior to the Prank, otherwise Sirius wouldn't know about the knot or how to slip past the Willow, and that Snape was "trying to find out what we were up to" which implies they were collectively up to something like becoming Animagi or running around, and in Snape's memories he says "they" sneak out at night, not just that there's something weird about Lupin.

On the flip side, perhaps it isn't likely they were Animagi by the Prank - otherwise it wouldn't have been a risk to James' life, since he could transform and be safe. (Of course, maybe James also couldn't transform in front of Snape without getting outed to Dumbledore and potentially getting all of them arrested and expelled or whatever, so it was a risk either way).]

Summer 1972 (approx) Lucius graduates. In the year(s) prior to this, Snape has presumably built some sort of friendship with him (enough for Snape to be considered Lucius' "lapdog"), which I'll go into later. If Lucius was a Prefect when Snape started, he'd have graduated from Hogwarts around the year of 1972/1973, after Snape's second year. Within seven years, by 1980, he was high-ranking and trusted enough by Voldemort to keep the diary Horcrux - (to open the Chamber, which, I assume, would destabilise the school to the extent that if Voldemort hadn't died, he'd have used it to take the school in the first war).

September 1971 Snape and Lily started at Hogwarts, aged 11. Lucius welcomes Snape to Slytherin. Voldemort "started looking for followers" around this time, and became more public in his agenda; at the time of Voldemort's death, the wizarding world had had "precious little to celebrate" for the past 11 years - and Voldemort had spent a few years even before that skulking about in the shadows, probably recruiting dark creatures and engaging in dark magic.

So, onto the show.

Pre-Hogwarts

Aged 11 (and probably for some time before that) Snape excitedly and somewhat naively hopes that he and Muggle-born Lily will be in Slytherin together. We can only speculate why Snape wants to be in Slytherin - perhaps because his mother was, since it tends to run in families. Maybe he's read somewhere that Merlin was a Slytherin and he has ambitions to be the next most powerful wizard of a generation (certainly seems to fit the Dark Arts interest, his experimenting, his disdain for reciting answers straight from the books, and his knowledge of curses/magic and wizarding society even before he attends Hogwarts). Maybe in line with that he's read about the Houses and thinks of himself and/or Lily as cunning and ambitious (he certainly thinks of them as "brainy", though he still didn't want to be in Ravenclaw, for example). Maybe it's mostly about 'rising' from his current situation, and he values the ambition to get there. In short, we have no idea what drew him to that House - but I doubt it's some desire at the age of nine to join a pureblood supremacist cult or to celebrate blood purity.

Snape's pause is often used by antis as a sort of gotcha for Snape already harbours blood supremacist views (as much as a child can 'harbour' anything; nature and nurture and all that. He'd have to have been taught). He's then spent two years getting to know Lily, seeing her (advanced) control of wandless magic and possibly training his own, and she's his only friend. He knows how talented she is; he can tell that being Muggle-born has no bearing on skill ("You have loads of magic"), and also likely knows from himself that being part-Muggle also does not influence skills. To my mind, Snape's hesitation when Lily asks if it makes a difference being Muggle-born suggests he might be aware of supremacist attitudes, but not necessarily that he believes them. I can believe that he'd dislike Muggles, but I doubt somehow that nine-year-old Snape, raised in a Muggle town, and his best friend the Muggle-born would've had too deep an understanding of the true extent of blood supremacy and how it could affect them, otherwise he probably wouldn't be suggesting she join Slytherin. Lily may be Muggle-born, but he's (at least) half Muggle himself, lives in the same place, isolated from wizarding society in almost the same way that most wizards are from Muggle society. As Draco might say, he's "never been brought up to know our ways."

But then, something is also going on with Eileen, which is why a witch is stuck in a less-than-stellar marriage with a Muggle who doesn't like magic, and living in poverty or distress severe enough to neglect her child - so Snape might know from being on the end of discriminatory attitudes himself, rather than simply holding them. Perhaps he'd seen his mother shunned as a blood traitor (after all, he's wearing his mother's clothes - where are the rest of the family? aunts/uncles/cousins? family friends?).

Eileen might be half-blood or Muggleborn herself, which is how she came to marry a Muggle. What we do know is that a pureblood supremacist witch would outright reject associating with Muggles or even visiting an area where Muggles frequented, much less forming a relationship, marrying, having a child, and living with one (Bellatrix even thinks that she and Narcissa must be the 'first of their kind' to visit Spinner's End). Maybe Eileen was from a dying-out Pureblood family like the Gaunts, viewing a Muggle man as an escape from something worse only for it to not work out... but even then, she'd still have liked a Muggle enough to abandon her family for one, which is more tolerance than you'd get from Bellatrix, for example. And even tolerant Purebloods don't really mix with Muggles; they just don't have enough shared understanding, and don't seem to know how the world would function without magic.

I'm personally very fond of the idea that Eileen might herself have been half-blood or Muggle-born - Hermione finds the name 'Prince' difficult to find in the school records, and they're obviously not a well-known family since Lupin says "there are no wizarding princes" - and he might have remembered if they were a family on a level with, say, the Malfoys, at any point in recent memory, and it seems unlike Hermione to not remember a name as easily memorable as Prince if she'd read about it somewhere. There's a whole host of options that perhaps Eileen's ancestors kept producing daughters and so the male name/line went extinct (as discussed with relation to the Peverells in the later books), but to me, 'first generation' (half and half) half-bloods, and Muggleborns, are the most likely to associate with Muggles in the first place - since wizarding society (with a few notable exceptions) tends exist fairly isolated from Muggles. Even Tonks - daughter of a Muggleborn man - seems to treat Muggles like some distant and foreign concept:

“Very clean, aren’t they, these Muggles?” said the witch called Tonks, who was looking around the kitchen with great interest. “My dad’s Muggle-born and he’s a right old slob. I suppose it varies, just like with wizards?”

Overall, Pureblood/Wizarding supremacist attitudes are commonplace in wizarding society, and take many, many forms - from a total lack of knowledge, to fascination, to disinterest and low-key derision of Muggles; from Slughorn's amused and impressed response to Hermione being skilled for a Muggle-born to Draco's frequent slurs; and Grindelwald/Voldemort's whole 'subjugate them all' deal to Harry's "they're just people, I guess??".

Snape could have been anywhere on that spectrum. In short, neither Snape, nor the wizarding world at large, know how much of a difference being Muggle-born was about to make.

First Impressions

This section is largely speculative, so be warned. I like to think it adds context.

When we're first introduced to Snape, and as his story unfolds, we get rather frequent descriptors of his appearance - more frequent than most characters.

The first description of Snape is "a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin". But the younger Snape had a "stringy, pallid look", being "round-shouldered yet angular" and with a "twitchy walk that recalled a spider", as well as "long oily hair that jumped about his face". Snape, when not in his robes, wears "clothes were so mismatched that it looked deliberate: too short jeans, a shabby, overlarge coat that might have belonged to a grown man, an odd smocklike shirt" that might have been his "mother's blouse". At various points, we're told over and over that he has "yellow teeth", an "overlarge nose", and "greasy" hair. As a kid, Sirius describes him as "slimy, oily, [and] greasy-haired". On the Marauders map, "Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball"; an ugly git; and an idiot; and even on the train during their first meeting, James decided that Sirius was "alright" for a potential Slytherin but Snape wasn't, and that Snape was neither brawny nor brainy.

In terms of Snape's experience at school, he was already in for a tough time for the crime of looking a bit weird. But more than that, Muggles and Muggle-borns are clearly and repeatedly described by Pureblood supremacists as common, filthy, dirty, disgusting, and foul - which is just how people might see Snape.

Gaunt describes Merope as a "dirty Squib", "disgusting little Squib" and a "filthy little blood traitor" (and she's a Pureblood witch, albeit struggling with her powers); and in CoS of course Voldemort calls his father "a foul, common Muggle". We also see throughout the books "Mudblood filth", and "filthy little Mudblood" in particular reference to Muggle-borns such as Hermione and Lily (and to Bob Ogden, who is not Muggle-born). Bellatrix describes Harry as a "filthy half-blood" and when Alecto Carrow teaches Muggle Studies during the events of DH, she teaches that "Muggles are like animals, stupid and dirty".

Obviously, descriptions of Muggle-borns and Muggles aren't necessarily rooted in physical appearance - Marvolo and Morfin Gaunt are Purebloods, as are the Carrows and Crabbe and Goyle, and none of them are described as being lookers, exactly, or well-groomed. They mean it in terms of blood being dirty. But greasy and poorly cut hair, improperly fitting clothes, the difference between someone like James who was "slight, black-haired like Snape, but with that indefinable air of having been well-cared-for, even adored, that Snape so conspicuously lacked" - all of these would be just another marker of Snape's poverty, neglect, and 'common-ness' to add to the fact that he was a Half-Blood/half a Muggle, and had a Muggle-born best friend in a House that didn't just accept or ignore these things, but actively scorned them. By comparison, privileged and powerful Purebloods like Draco, Lucius, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Sirius, and James are described (Draco as a child/young adult, the others in adulthood) as more handsome or noble-looking, or in other ways that denoted their relative attractiveness as a shorthand for 'good breeding'.

And obviusly, whilst Pureblood James & Co. would never call anyone a Mudblood:

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. “I don’t want you to make him apologize,” Lily shouted, rounding on James. “You’re as bad as he is…” “What?” yelped James. “I’d NEVER call you a — you-know-what!”

...they would suspend a poor, ugly, slimy nobody upside-down and (threaten to, or actually) remove their underwear in front of a crowd just because "he exists" - just like the Death Eaters do to the Muggle woman, Mrs Roberts, at the Quidditch World Cup (and probably other Muggles). Voldemort calls this behaviour "a spot of Muggle-torture".

Similarly, Draco et al.'s comment on Hermione's teeth ("the long-molared Mudblood") [See here for another meta on Snape's comment on Hermione's teeth], and on Lupin's clothes, and just a general knowledge of how teenagers and people are, show that they're not above making physical taunts that could just as easily apply to a young Snape, mocking Hagrid's "d'you call this a house?", calling him an oaf; the Weasley's "hovel" of a home, and Lupin's clothes:

“Look at the state of his robes,” Malfoy would say in a loud whisper as Professor Lupin passed. “He dresses like our old house-elf.”

Snape would also, when not in robes, have been wearing the mismatched and odd clothing likely to have been mocked in the same way by a family affluent enough to own a house-elf, and god forbid anyone Snape went to school with find out that he lives in a "Muggle dunghill".

Snape was undoubtedly used to this sort of thing from his time in Cokeworth (looking at you, Petunia), which was why he changed his robes so quickly on the train. As a child and teenager, Snape’s physical appearance - marked by greasy hair, mismatched clothing, and an overall unkempt demeanour - likely exacerbated his social isolation (seen as a child lurking to make a friend) and fueled the mockery he likely endured both at home and at Hogwarts - after all, Petunia also mocked Snape's appearance, as well as the Marauders and Harry.

I think there's also a comparison here, if tenuous:

“Want one, Granger?” said Malfoy, holding out a badge to Hermione. “I’ve got loads. But don’t touch my hand, now. I’ve just washed it, you see; don’t want a Mudblood sliming it up.” “I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,” said Sirius viciously. “There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.”

More than many other characters I can think of (perhaps besides Umbridge the Toad - and Sirius' dog descriptors, owing to his Animagus form), Snape is also most often compared to, or described in a way that provokes imagery of, animals. Snape is described on more than one occasion as an 'overgrown bat'; his nose is described as a "beaklike protuberance"; and once he is described as a lapdog. He snarls perhaps more than any other single character in the series [snarl: (of an animal such as a dog) make an aggressive growl with bared teeth]; Snape yelps; he roars; he howls; he bares his teeth; and my personal favourite, when he's described as "demented, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog".

Of course, when animalistic descriptors like these are applied to people Harry likes - such as Sirius barking with laughter - they come across as more illustrative and amusing than insulting, and even where Sirius is described in a less flattering light as "very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit", Sirius is still the one with the power, a hunter, and Snape is his prey. But that's decidedly the case with Snape - such descriptors are entirely used to be insulting and invoke specific negative imagery that paints him as out of control of himself and/or needlessly melodramatic, even when he is correct (e.g. Harry did help Sirius escape; Harry and Ron did break the law in CoS; Lupin did know more about Sirius getting into the castle than he was letting on; James really was that bad).

As readers we can recognise that Snape becomes agitated and enraged when distressed, triggered, or losing control of a situation, and when he is correct but not believed or trusted - but as anyone knows in a school setting, letting people see they're getting to you just leaves you open to further ridicule. It was this very 'overreaction' that James and Sirius especially liked to get out of Snape, and Peter liked to watch, which we see in SWM.

Here is also a section which illustrates all of these things; Snape is not only animalistic here, but we are reminded that he has a large nose again, he is ugly and unpleasant, melodramatic but not to be taken seriously despite being correct, and Harry/JKR/the narrative wants us to know it:

“Potter!” Snape snarled, and he actually turned his head and stared right at the place where Harry was, as though he could suddenly see him. “That egg is Potter’s egg. That piece of parchment belongs to Potter. I have seen it before, I recognize it! Potter is here! Potter, in his Invisibility Cloak!” Snape stretched out his hands like a blind man and began to move up the stairs; Harry could have sworn his over-large nostrils were dilating, trying to sniff Harry out...

In a real and fictional world (exacerbated by a Harry-centric narrative) where physical appearance and likeability is often seen as a shorthand for worth, goodness, or social standing, Snape's perceived lack of these things, combined with his half-blood status, friendship with a Muggleborn, and general demeanour, rendered him an easy target for mockery and othering - both within his own House, and from others like the Marauders - and would only serve to strengthen the association between Snape, his Muggle heritage, and common, dirty, animalistic Muggles in the eyes of pureblood supremacists/future Death Eater Slytherins.

With friends like these...

So what would entering Slytherin look like for a young Snape? He's spent the first eleven years of his life waiting for the moment he can leave Spinner's End, escape his father, and finally go to Hogwarts. And now he's here! A far cry from the less-than-friendly welcome he received on the train from James and Sirius, where he was insulted and tripped in a classic dickhead schoolboy fashion, Snape is warmly welcomed into Slytherin:

And Severus Snape moved off to the other side of the Hall, away from Lily, to where the Slytherins were cheering him, to where Lucius Malfoy, a prefect badge gleaming upon his chest, patted Snape on the back as he sat down beside him. …

I imagine that felt amazing to a young Snape after years of a challenging home life, dreams of escape, hopes of a welcome - after his father didn't like anything, presumably including him, or magic; after Petunia mocked his clothes and he seemingly had not made any other friends beside Lily. He's finally in uniform, the same as everyone else. A fresh start. Cheers as he approached from a whole table full of people. A literal pat on the back. He must have been having the best night of his life in that moment...

But setting that aside for a moment, I'm going to take a closer look at some of the Slytherin friendships that we do see. They're hardly loyal, warm, and close like the Trio, or even arguably the Marauders; nor does being a (fellow) Pureblood, or a fellow Death Eater, necessarily even grant you respect.

We see it often with Draco's so-called "best friends" (per Hermione in CoS), Crabbe and Goyle. They're not even on a first-name basis.

More often than not, Crabbe and Goyle are positioned to follow Draco, to be a receptive audience to Draco's jokes, and to act as his "cronies" or "bodyguards" - rather than his actual friends:

“Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle,” said the pale boy carelessly (PS) “You know I haven’t, Goyle, how many times do I have to tell you?” snapped Malfoy. (CoS) Crabbe and Goyle looked at [Draco Malfoy] for instructions, thoroughly bewildered (PoA) Malfoy beckoned to Crabbe and Goyle, and the three of them disappeared (GoF) Crabbe and Goyle guffawed sycophantically (GoF) Crabbe and Goyle lumbering in [Draco's] wake (OotP) Behind [Montague] lurked Crabbe and Goyle ... Malfoy stood to one side (OotP) Draco Malfoy had slid out from behind the door, followed by Crabbe and Goyle (OotP)

They start to drift apart by HBP, after Lucius' fall from grace within the Death Eaters and the setting of Draco's task. Crabbe and Goyle aren't in on Draco's plans despite all of their parents being DEs; there's a sense of dissent; and they even start to talk back:

Crabbe and Goyle were gawping at Malfoy; apparently they had had no inkling of any plans to move on to bigger and better things (HBP) "... if you are placing your reliance in assistants like Crabbe and Goyle — ” “They’re not the only ones, I’ve got other people on my side, better people!” (HBP) Crabbe opened his mouth, but Malfoy appeared to second-guess what he was going to say. “Look, it’s none of your business what I’m doing, Crabbe, you and Goyle just do as you’re told and keep a lookout!” (HBP) [Harry] skidded to a halt and turned around. Crabbe and Goyle were standing behind him, shoulder to shoulder, wands pointing right at Harry. Through the small space between their leering faces he saw Draco Malfoy. “That’s my wand you’re holding, Potter,” said Malfoy, pointing his own through the gap between Crabbe and Goyle. (using them as human shields? - DH) “Potter came in here to get it,” said Malfoy with ill-disguised impatience at the slow-wittedness of his colleagues, “so that must mean — ” “ ‘Must mean?” Crabbe turned on Malfoy with undisguised ferocity. “Who cares what you think? I don’t take your orders no more, Draco. You an’ your dad are finished.” (despite this being one of their last encounters, Draco does appear upset by his death - DH)

[Also worth noting from the other meta I linked: "The power of the “Malfoy�� name was the reason Crabbe kept Draco company. Now that that power is gone, he’s just some guy called “Draco”, so Crabbe drops him."]

And even on the train, where Harry is concealed beneath his cloak (OotP), doesn't feel especially warm, and everyone seems almost indifferent to one another (the scene is rather too long to quote here for the sake of an example, but I did stumble across this which was interesting). There's an element of tallying 'successes' or listing others' faults (such as the Weasleys being blood traitors, Harry being 'the Chosen one', Neville being... well, Neville, and whether Slughorn had gone senile). But fortunately I've also found another meta that goes into this in more detail; these people hang out together, but don't really come across as friends. Draco doesn't even tell Pansy his plans, and she's been on his arm for some time now; she seems surprised, and almost hurt, that she hasn't been told - but Draco doesn't really seem to care.

[Unrelated side note: I also think it's interesting that Zabini speaks "scathingly" about Draco's father, was invited to Slughorn's party (so has no known Death Easter connections), and is also an enthusiastic blood purist. (We also find out that his mother's seven ex-husbands died, so... maybe some of them were? Idk. It's just interesting that people would reject/be critical of DEs in that climate but still be a blood purist).]

Protected by their Pureblood status (I'll touch on that later, but have covered it in the first meta), Crabbe and Goyle cannot be targeted or treated the same way as Muggle-borns and Muggles; but that doesn't mean they get treated with respect. Draco may have liked Crabbe and Goyle, at least enough to be worried about whether or not they lived or died (although even that 'friendship'/comraderie evidently soured with the war despite being on the same side, because of Lucius' fall from grace with Voldemort) - but mostly he ordered them around. And they were content to follow, but started to dissent when Lucius (and Draco) are no longer the most powerful voices:

Who cares what you think? I don’t take your orders no more, Draco. You an’ your dad are finished.

We're also seeing these friendships under strain of a building war in which certain people are being recruited as Death Eaters where others aren't, and a majority of their parents are possibly (or certainly) already involved with Voldemort and/or his ideology; a perfectly reasonable parallel to Snape's own situation when he was in school.

But we're also often seeing these friendships not only through the lens of Harry, but in front of Harry, who acts as their sort of nemesis. It's perfectly possible that these friendships were warm and friendly and they enjoyed one another's company in the privacy of the Slytherin common room - but even in the scene in the common room (CoS), Draco does not seem to be impressed with their conversational skills, but still takes their blind acceptance of his leadership/sycophantic behaviour:

Far too late, Harry and Ron forced themselves to laugh, but Malfoy seemed satisfied; perhaps Crabbe and Goyle were always slow on the uptake.

My interpretation is that Slytherin friendships are more representative of the social circles of politicians or high society. You may be civil, friendly, and even end up real friends - but as soon as being friends with someone someone stops serving you, or damages your social standing, you’d turn on them to avoid any blowback. Friendships may exist but loyalty to a person isn't really part of it; there's an element of loyalty being to whoever has the most power in the room, be that from a combination of intellect, blood status, reputation, accomplishments, more powerful friends, or money.

Obviously, Snape is not entirely analagous to Crabbe or Goyle - being depicted as intelligent and curious and more outspoken, for starters - but also lacking those family connections, money, upbringing, or blood status. His only hopes were to build connections with more powerful people, and his intellect - especially since he's hardly described as having the size for physical intimidation or brawls. He was likely good at hexing people - I doubt he made all of those new spells just for fun - but JKR makes a point of telling us that it's James who hexes people for the fun of it, and showing us that Snape acts in retaliation ("Give me a reason").

And so Snape became, ultimately, a follower to more powerful people. We see Lucius in Snape's memories extending the metaphorical hand of friendship the moment that Snape is Sorted. Lucius is a Prefect, however, and several years older; no older teen wants to regularly hang out with an 11-year-old. And yet in adulthood Snape is described as "Lucius’s old friend"; Lucius "speaks most highly" of Snape to Umbridge; and Draco seems to like Snape already as a teacher, and even suggests him for headmaster in CoS, when "The appointment — or suspension — of the headmaster is a matter for the governors" - including Lucius:

“Sir,” said Malfoy loudly. “Sir, why don’t you apply for the headmaster’s job?” “Now, now, Malfoy,” said Snape, though he couldn’t suppress a thin-lipped smile. “Professor Dumbledore has only been suspended by the governors. I daresay he’ll be back with us soon enough.” “Yeah, right,” said Malfoy, smirking. “I expect you’d have Father’s vote, sir, if you wanted to apply for the job — I’ll tell Father you’re the best teacher here, sir —”

Perhaps Lucius, for the few years' overlap where Snape was in school and Lucius was Prefect, may have befriended Snape. But in a House where pecking order, prestige, and blood status play a role as well as age, this isn't certain. Far from being 'friends' in the traditional sense, Snape is once described as Lucius' "lapdog" (a small pampered pet dog; a person or organization that is influenced or controlled by another). Other metas and essays have pointed out may refer to a relationship like the Ancient Roman tradition of patronage:

Patronage (clientela) was the distinctive relationship in ancient Roman society between the patronus ('patron') and their cliens ('client'). The relationship was hierarchical, but obligations were mutual. The patron was the protector, sponsor, and benefactor of the client; the technical term for this protection was patrocinium. Although typically the client was of inferior social class, a patron and client might even hold the same social rank, but the former would possess greater wealth, power, or prestige that enabled him to help or do favors for the client.

Or, more worryingly, to 'fagging', which features in some older boarding school stories and may have been referenced, intentionally or not, by JKR:

Fagging was a traditional practice in British public schools and also at many other boarding schools, whereby younger pupils were required to act as personal servants to the eldest boys. Although probably originating earlier, the first accounts of fagging appeared in the late 17th century.  Fagging sometimes involved physical abuse  and/or sexual abuse. Fagging originated as a structure for maintaining order in boarding schools. Fagging carried with it well-defined rights and duties on both sides. The senior, sometimes called the fag-master, was the protector of his fags and responsible for their happiness and good conduct. In case of any problem outside the classroom, such as bullying or injustice, a junior boy's recourse was to him, not to a form master or housemaster, and, except in the gravest cases, all incidents were dealt with by the fag-master on his own responsibility. The duties undertaken by fags ... would include such humble tasks as blacking boots, brushing clothes, and cooking breakfasts, and there was no limit as to hours the fag would be expected to work. Later, fagging was restricted to such tasks as running errands and bringing tea to the fag-master's study.

I think it's more feasible that Snape was Lucius' "fag", or at the very least his errand-boy; it may well have developed into more of a patron/client style relationship in later years, post-Hogwarts, especially with Severus and Lucius both connected to the school (until Lucius was removed from the Board of Governors), and supporting one another in proposals/managing Slytherin house/Draco - and prior to that, working together with Severus reporting to Lucius under Voldemort.

In any case, Sirius calling Snape a "lapdog" implies that in some capacity Snape was influenced or controlled by Lucius in school. I say in school, because Sirius didn't even initially know that Snape was a DE, or that Snape was working at Hogwarts - suggesting that this insult was in reference to Snape's early years at school, before Lucius graduated.

Either option (fagging or patron/client) functionally makes Snape little more than Lucius' own personal house-elf, although perhaps he would've treated Snape better than a house-elf - despite his blood status and younger age, he was still a wizard. (And Draco does once say "this is servant stuff", possibly suggesting they also have servants/staff as well as a house elf; Voldemort's supporters are also called servants. Lucius was likely getting Snape 'trained'/grooming him). And of course there's Dumbledore's line to Voldemort feels particularly reminiscent of the type of relationship I'm imagining between Snape and Lucius:

“I am glad to hear that you consider them friends,” said Dumbledore. “I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.”

I'm firmly of the belief that it became more of a reciprocal patron/client relationship after school, rather than during; if Lucius had been 'polishing' Snape so that he appeared less... Snape, he didn't do well. Snape is 'clearly unpopular' and still 'greasy' as an older teen, and also Lucius and Snape's school years didn't substantially overlap.

This also ties into something I read somewhere (and please, god, if someone can find it I'd love to read it again) where it was argued that Snape appears to be well-spoken/polished enough for Bellatrix to be surprised (and disgusted) when she sees Spinner's End - as though she had no idea that Snape was from somewhere as run down as that. (She did, however, know that he wasn't Pureblood - she reckons that she and Narcissa must be the "first of their kind" to step foot in Spinner's End. To me, this also suggests further that Snape's mother wasn't Pureblood, because Bellatrix of all people would know the Prince name if she had been, and Snape may have raised it as 'evidence' for his 'worthiness').

Anyway, perhaps Lucius would've helped Snape go from the sometimes brash, stuttering teen to the (largely) soft-spoken, sharp-tongued adult - before he's introduced to the Death Eaters and Voldemort. Introducing a Snape who seems "common" or "lowborn" wouldn't have done Lucius any favours, but we can expect that Snape would otherwise have been considered useful; something I noticed on a recent reread is that Lucius was in posession of some poisons he thought might get him in trouble during the raids in CoS:

“You have heard, of course, that the Ministry is conducting more raids,” said Mr. Malfoy, taking a roll of parchment from his inside pocket and unraveling it for Mr. Borgin to read. “I have a few — ah — items at home that might embarrass me, if the Ministry were to call … and as you see, certain of these poisons might make it appear — ”

I like to imagine that Snape was the one who brewed them for Lucius since he's the character most often associated with poison.

Still, given the snootiness of the Malfoys, it is interesting that Lucius 'befriended' or otherwise used, groomed, or recruited Snape in the first place - and that other Pureblood Death Eaters just accepted it.

(Pure)Blood Is Thicker Than Water

I think we can assume that Lucius and Draco shared roughly the same views in school; Draco learnt it all somewhere, Lucius was in the same position of privilege and power in his school days, coming from a Pureblood family, and from what we can see of Slytherins of that generation, Regulus Black and his parents shared the view that Voldemort had the 'right idea', which apparently many Pureblood families did. These views aren't anything new; we can see that with Marvolo Gaunt. Voldemort just harnessed them, and he's probably been doing it since he was in school (with a Lestrange and an Avery in Slughorn's memory).

The Malfoys prided themselves on being purebloods; in other words, they considered anyone of Muggle descent ... second-class. (GoF)

Although the above quote is Harry's perspective, he's probably not wrong about the Malfoys' view on Muggle heritage. This is slightly complicated by writing from JK:

From the imposition of the Statute of Secrecy onwards, no Malfoy has married a Muggle or Muggle-born. The family has, however, eschewed the somewhat dangerous practice of inter-marrying within such a small pool of pure-bloods that they become enfeebled or unstable, unlike a small minority of fanatic families such as the Gaunts and Lestranges, and many a half-blood appears on the Malfoy family tree. [X]

Given the near-meaninglessness of 'half-blood', it's open to interpretation whether the Malfoys would allow someone with one Muggle parent, for example, to marry into the family; more likely they allow 'second generation' half-bloods or more, with some Muggle(born) ancestry but slightly removed by a generation or more. (Does this also mean the Malfoys are technically half-blood? The entire system is more political than scientific, but I expect they are 'technically' half-blood to stricter purists. Marvolo Gaunt would certainly think so: "Generations of purebloods, wizards all — more than you can say, I don’t doubt!")

But the attitude is what matters here.

Families like the Blacks, for instance, seem to have been more strict:

"If you’re only going to let your sons and daughters marry purebloods your choice is very limited, there are hardly any of us left. Molly and I are cousins by marriage and Arthur’s something like my second cousin once removed. But there’s no point looking for them on here — if ever a family was a bunch of blood traitors it’s the Weasleys." "While his will makes it perfectly plain that he wants you to have the house, it is nevertheless possible that some spell or enchantment has been set upon [Grimmauld] place to ensure that it cannot be owned by anyone other than a pureblood."

Walburga Black's portrait screams at everyone in the Order that they're Mudbloods, half-breeds, and scum - and the Order consists of Pureblood blood traitors, Half-bloods with two magical parents (good enough, perhaps, for the Malfoys - but not for the Blacks or Lestranges), and (one) Muggle-born. Of course, discrimination in familial marriage requirements and property owenership don't necessarily translate to how you'd treat people on a day-to-day basis, but the biases obviously inform it. Lucius, when trying to appear moderate in front of Fudge, is less openly hostile to the blood traitor Weasley family, for example.

But at Hogwarts, the teens and tweens are left unattended in their Common Rooms, free to be as cruel as teens and tweens can be without a guiding hand. In CoS, Draco is comfortable enough in the Common Room to discuss his family's illicit goings-on, brag about the fact that Lucius has additional knowledge about Voldemort's involvement in the Chamber opening last time, to say 'Mudblood' with careless abandon, and that he wishes Hermione dead, all in one breath:

“And Father won’t tell me anything about the last time the Chamber was opened either. Of course, it was fifty years ago, so it was before his time, but he knows all about it, and he says that it was all kept quiet and it’ll look suspicious if I know too much about it. But I know one thing — last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So I bet it’s a matter of time before one of them’s killed this time. ... I hope it’s Granger,” he said with relish. (CoS)

The Slytherin Common Room password, during a major event in which several students have already been Petrified by the Heir of Slytherin's monster, and messages left on the wall in blood, Draco manages to say "Mudblood" no less than 6 times in 3 pages - imagine how much it's being said in general, not just by Draco in the hour that Harry and Ron spend there. And the Common Room opens to a password of "Pureblood". Like I said in the previous meta, "there's a strong sense of pureblood supremacy communicated in that password that's only strengthened by the timing, echoing the Heir's agenda. In any case, it speaks to the entrenched nature of Pureblood ideology of Slytherin as a house."

Draco is also comfortable to say 'Mudblood' in public (Madam Malkins' shop), and in front of his mother:

“If you’re wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in,” said Draco Malfoy. (HBP)

So I expect it's a fairly common occurrence at home, since Draco's been using it since he was ~12, before the second rise of Voldemort. I suggest that Narcissa Malfoy (nee Black, after all) and/or Lucius Malfoy, and the rest of the Pureblood supremacists, were more than comfortable saying it as students, too.

Salazar Slytherin himself "wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed that magical learning should be kept within all-magic families. He disliked taking students of Muggle parentage" (CoS). The Sorting Hat sings in OotP "...Slytherin took only pure-blood wizards... just like him" and we see Walburga Black refer to Muggle-borns and half-bloods in the Order as:

"MUDBLOODS! SCUM! CREATURES OF DIRT!" “Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers — ” "Mudbloods, filth, stains of dishonor, taint of shame on the house of my fathers!"

Slytherin House is just as much home to the likes of the teenage Lestranges, Blacks, and Malfoys of the world as 12 Grimmauld Place was to Walburga:

“My whole family have been in Slytherin,” [Sirius] said. "Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I’ll be in Slytherin, all our family have been." [Draco]

Snape's presence there, in the eyes of some, is likely defiling the House of their fathers - especially during a period in which Salazar Slytherin's own heir was stoking the fires of Pureblood supremacy, affecting both Hogwarts and the wider wizarding world - and he was continuing to recruit Slytherin students. Certainly of those we hear a reasonable amount about who became Death Eaters, most (if not all) claim to be Pureblood, whether that be true or not:

"The Death Eaters can’t all be pure-blood, there aren’t enough pure-blood wizards left," said Hermione stubbornly. "I expect most of them are half-bloods pretending to be pure." "I got this one," [Neville] indicated another slash to his face, "for asking [Carrow] how much Muggle blood she and her brother have got."

But... Snape is not Pureblood; he is half Muggle. He would quickly be identified as half-blood, since "the pure-blood families are all interrelated", and "there are hardly any of [them] left". So I'm sure it must have come up as a (certainly impolite) discussion in the Common Room when it was realised that Snape was not Pureblood.

Somewhere above, I've quoted the ('not in the books' information) that the Malfoys accepted half-bloods into their family - and so perhaps their view on Snape as a half-Muggle would've been more moderate, although this isn't entirely guaranteed. Regardless, Voldemort-loving Regulus Black, whose mother called everyone from Purebloods to Muggle-borns "Mudbloods" would not have been so 'kind'; and certainly neither would Bellatrix Black, if she were attending around the same time.

We vaguely hear about Snape being "part of gang of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters":

"Rosier and Wilkes — they were both killed by Aurors the year before Voldemort fell. The Lestranges — they’re a married couple — they’re in Azkaban. Avery — from what I’ve heard he wormed his way out of trouble by saying he’d been acting under the Imperius Curse — he’s still at large."

Avery is mentioned both in this quote and in Snape's memories with Lily, so presumably at some stage Avery became friendly enough with Snape for Lily to comment on it. But this would imply that Snape only became part of this 'gang' later on - I hardly think that Lily would be fine with someone like Bellatrix but not with Avery, aka Generic Death Eater #4 compared to Voldemort's most well-liked (if you can call it that) Death Eater. There's also a curious lack of a mention of Mulciber in the gang, who was friends with Snape (per Lily), was confirmed as a Death Eater, went to Azkaban, and was apparently a specialist in the Imperius curse - and who Lily seemed to think was worse than Avery. Even more curious an absence from Sirius' retelling of Snape's 'gang' is Lucius Malfoy, given that he's the only person ever mentioned as Snape's 'friend' in adulthood.

Some Slytherin students' families were already tied to Voldemort (e.g. Avery and Lestrange, as seen in Slughorn's memories of Voldemort's youth), or would quickly become so - including Lucius, who left school and shortly after Snape arrived and was trusted enough to look after Voldemort's Horcrux/Diary, and Snape likely would've attended school with Regulus Black, who somehow managed to sign up at 16. Within the 'gang' of Slytherins was also apparently Bellatrix, who was certainly Voldemort's favourite, and a staunch blood supremacist.

I'm sure it was totally fine and she was very relaxed about it. She certainly didn't insult Harry for being a half-blood, both before and after Harry tells her that Voldemort is half-blood himself:

"filthy half-blood" "You dare speak his name with your unworthy lips, you dare besmirch it with your half-blood’s tongue, you dare -"

It's worth noting here the definition of 'besmirch' because I just thought it meant 'slander', which it sort of does:

She thinks that the claim damages Voldemort's reputation, and his good name. Bellatrix's reaction underscores the strong disdain and contempt that pure-blood supremacists have for anyone who is not Pureblood. To her, Harry's truth lie about Voldemort's half-blood status is an insult and an affront to Voldemort's perceived superiority. Bellatrix uses "half-blood" derogatorily, and later calls him a "filthy half blood" - highlighting the belief that being a half-blood is inherently inferior and contaminates his worth and status, despite Voldemort's considerable power, lineage, and reputation.

Bellatrix also seemed... surprised at where Snape lived in HBP:

“He lives here?” asked Bella in a voice of contempt. “Here? In this Muggle dunghill? We must be the first of our kind ever to set foot — ”

Perhaps, then, Snape lied about his heritage. After all Bellatrix, for all of her other insults, never insults Snape's blood status (that we see) - but then Half Bloods are awarded respect for their behaviour or usefulness, and Voldemort arguably thinks of Snape as his most trusted follower by this point, and Bellatrix can only question that to a certain point without appearing to question Voldemort. And, she only steps foot in Spinner's End after Harry's made his claim about Voldemort being half-blood himself, so she might be treading more lightly.

She may instead be surprised not because Snape's a half-blood (that would've been clear) - but because he, Voldemort's right-hand Death Eater, chose to stay in not only a Muggle neighbourhood - but a really old, really delapidated one.

Perhaps (if we are to go by JK's additional writings, and not by Sirius/ the book information alone), Bellatrix never went to school with Snape - she'd be a few years older, and would have graduated before Snape even arrived. She personally wouldn't have ever needed to taunt Snape for his parentage, especially if Lucius had already had a hand in polishing his appearance and speech.

Now think about what it all means for Snape. Snape's status as a half-blood places him in a precarious position within the rigid hierarchy of the (Pureblood supremacist) wizarding world. If it didn't then the other Death Eaters, and Voldemort himself, wouldn't pretend to be Pureblood.

And when you consider the fact that Snape is "best friends" with Lily - potentially as late as his 5th year - he's going to be on the receiving end of some very pointed questions even from the most 'lenient' Pureblood supremacist. Consider below some quotes from Draco which may have been applied to Snape:

“Saint Potter, the Mudbloods’ friend,” said Malfoy slowly. “He’s another one with no proper wizard feeling, or he wouldn’t go around with that jumped-up [Granger] Mudblood.”

I think it's worth noting at this point that Snape might be considered also not to have the "proper wizard feeling", as he grew up, like Harry, impoverished, neglected, and separated from Wizarding society. He also 'goes around' (is friends with) a "jumped-up Mudblood", the talented Lily (both Lily and Hermione were talented according to Slughorn, who coincidentally also rejected Draco). The only thing I might add is that Lucius sometimes warns Draco to hold his tongue, so Lucius might have been more politically-minded and not gone around saying Mudblood 6 times each breath.

More to consider with regard to Snape's friendship with Lily, based on Draco's quotes about his father and the political situation:

"... Father actually considered sending me to Durmstrang rather than Hogwarts, you know. He knows the headmaster, you see. Well, you know his opinion of Dumbledore — the man’s such a Mudblood-lover — and Durmstrang doesn’t admit that sort of riffraff."

"You’ve picked the losing side, Potter! I warned you! I told you you ought to choose your company more carefully, remember? When we met on the train, first day at Hogwarts? I told you not to hang around with riffraff like this!” [Draco] jerked his head at Ron and Hermione. “Too late now, Potter! They’ll be the first to go, now the Dark Lord’s back! Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers first!"

Despite the pressure Snape probably faced to stop talking to a Muggleborn Gryffindor since day dot, it's interesting to note that Lily only seems to talk about Severus hanging out with Mulciber and Avery after the Prank, as if it were a relatively new development in the grand scheme of things:

"... I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! ... I don’t understand how you can be friends with them."

"You're hanging around with" being in the present tense gives me the impression that it's been a few weeks/months and this unexpected, inexplicable addition of Sev's new friends has surprised and worried her, causing this particular argument. They're not like him; until that point, she'd seen a side of Severus that didn't match the "creepy" and "evil" Mulciber and Avery. Perhaps he tried to hold out as long as he could, but the Prank spurred him to realise that he needed to fit in with more people than just Lily.

But none of Snape's "precious little Death Eater friends" are shown to help him during SWM, and some of them, presumably, would have finished the exam at the same time, left at the same time, and gone out to enjoy some fresh air and sunshine. Lily leaves with her friends, James leaves with his friends, and Snape leaves alone to sit in a bush. When Snape was finally accosted by the Marauders, "Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular."

This is the situation unfolding in Snape's dormitories; a growing sense of unsafety, of choosing sides.

"Don't pick the losing side, Snape. I'm warning you, you you ought to choose your company more carefully. You'll be the first to go, now the Dark Lord’s rising. Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers first."

On the one side, Snape could follow Lily and other future Order members, the opposition of Voldemort under Dumbledore; the ones who strung him in the air and threatened to strip him, the ones who silenced him after the Prank, who didn't listen to his side of the story. He could remain neutral, perhaps work for a Ministry that regards nepotism as a valid career path, and whose blood supremacy is quieter but no less damaging to his opportunities. Or, Snape can approach the side who may have initially discounted him - but they're his House, his family-away-from-family. They cheered when he entered their House; they extended the hand of friendship. Perhaps they're starting to see his value, because he's finally starting to play along like Crabbe and Goyle do - laughing at jokes that aren't funny, siding with the more powerful people in the room. He's sharing a laugh with them about what they "tried to do to Mary Macdonald" - because in his mind, even if it was Dark Magic, it's not as bad as or is on a par with "the stuff Potter and his mates get up to" (aka attempted murder; illegal hexes like on Bertram Aubrey).

[There's also a fun essay somewhere that argues the 'dark magic' in question was Levicorpus since Hermione shares a reaction with Lily and Harry/Ron share a reaction (and descriptive language "just a laugh") with Harry/Ron but I don't remember whose it is or where i read it :( I literally can't find it so if someone knows where it is, I'd love to find it again.]

I expect that that Snape's started to earn himself some (perhaps begrudging) respect by this time for spell creation and his academic success, and that eventually Snape proved himself (as half-bloods need to do) as useful.

...But useful doesn't mean essential. Lucius was useful to Voldemort, until he wasn't. Snape may have been useful to the other Slytherins, but they didn't help him until they had some reason to, until he was powerful - when Voldemort trusted Snape above Lucius, and Bellatrix. Snape himself was ultimately, arguably, the most useful to Voldemort - and he still killed him.

But Snape doesn't know any of this yet. It's 1970, and Voldemort has just started recruiting in earnest. Like the other future Death Eaters, he's no doubt been told that "Lord Voldemort rewards his helpers". Loyalty to the cause means "reward[s] beyond any of his other supporters". "He would reward you beyond all of us." And he's starting to believe it; he's starting to find a community, approval, and a sense of power and protection. He lives with people who believe he's lesser until he proves himself, and he possibly shares a dorm with them. Conforming to it, even playing into it, contains an element of survival - since he has no other connections, power, money, or a good name for himself. His relationship with Lily is straining; she doesn't ask his side of the story with the Prank, she doesn't see why he'd spend time with Mulciber and Avery. They're growing up and growing apart. The only resistance to Voldemort at this point is Dumbledore - the same man who silenced Snape on the Prank and, to Snape's mind, turns a blind eye to the Marauders sneaking around and tormenting him, and attempting to murder him. Why should Snape trust Dumbledore? Why should he later trust the Order? If he doesn't pick a side, he'll surely just get caught in the crossfire.

Voldemort is nearing the height of his power - for Snape's own survival, he reckons he's got a better chance with the Death Eaters. And who can blame him?

If only things had been different.

"You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon."

[anthonyzoxide]

Rating and Reviewing the Mean Gills team name options

(This is unfinished but it’s been in my drafts for 3 months so I’m just going to impulse-post it now)

-Mean Gills: The best name, naturally, being the one that they went with and all. So much potential for reference humour, rolls off the tongue... If you wanted to analyze it story-wise 'gills' could foreshadow the ocean mutations that both of the gills (Another plus: 'Mean Gills' allowing me to use 'gills' as a replacement for 'girls') start to get throughout the series. And the 'Mean' part could foreshadow all those times they murder people in cold blood on purpose? It does bother me how little they actually reference Mean Girls across Limited Life, if at all, with how much potential there was- But that's a complaint unrelated from the name itself, so I won't count it as effecting the rating. 10/10

-Coral Kids: Sounds cute, and I like (or rather prefer) how it was worked into their area being called the Coral Isles. Though in the lore monologues, this would probably be even harder to take seriously when referenced than 'Mean Gills'. 7/10

-H2-Bros: When pronouncing this name out loud, it either has an awkward pause or is automatically said too quickly to process the joke- And, additionally, in retrospect I quite understand how one of the deciding factors between this and Mean Gills was not perpetuating the same masculine energy of the Bad Boys. Not a fan, but wouldn't have been particularly upset if they went with this. 4/10

-Santa's Little Kelpers: For how summer-coded Limited Life comes across as, this totally feels like the wrong kind of seasonal. In particular, the Mean Gills always felt tropical to me- Would've been a ton of tonal whiplash if they were named this. Also brings to mind a certain song, which I'm not convinced is a positive. Also, introducing Santa's Little Kelpers to the Life Series means adding Santa to the Life Series, and I don't want to know where the pipeline of lore additions would go from there. 2/10

-Sons of Beaches: I feel as though this is either a reference to a band that I haven't heard of, or there for the soundalike to a certain curse word. Assuming that it's the latter, I don't believe that joke would've had much staying power- It's catchy, however. 3/10

-Big Buoys: Had to look up what a buoy was after mispelling it in 3 different ways when making the list of Mean Gills names. I now hold a vendetta against this name. Also sounds quite a lot like the Bad Boys, and I'm not sure I could've taken whatever kind of feud would arise there if the two groups were name-destined rivals. 1/10

-LGB-sea: Not a bad name, but I've got quite extensive nitpicks. The use of an acronym makes you think of BEST and TIES, but neither gill has a name that starts with L, G, or B, so it feels peculiar if you don't recognize the pun at first (Which I did not). Even if you dissasociate it from the prior context of those other acronym team names, it feels as though it would be a trio name so that there can be a person for each letter (and then tying them all together with the shared theme of 'sea'), and out of the Life Series players there aren't any lesbians to be the L, so that'd be tricky to work around. Also, I feel like it should be 'LGB-sea Community' instead of just LGB-sea, but I'm assuming this would be thought of quickly if it was what they went with, so I won't count it as a complaint. With all of that nitpicking out of the way, I do think the pun is quite funny. I dunno. A rather mixed 5/10

-The Shell-dons(?): I'm not even sure I heard this one right despite rewinding it many times. 1/10

-Beauty and the Beach: This name implies that only one of the Mean Gills is 'the beauty', and I do not believe in pitting two beautiful gills against each other in such a manner. I am also definitely not the target audience for Disney references- Though this would have potential as the name of someone's royal AU Mean Gills fanfiction. That'd be pretty cool. Though the writer must specify which one of them is the beauty, to the other's dismay. And where the beach is in relations to their castle or whatever. 2/10

-Damp Dudes: No. No. This is very unpleasant. Reading it feels like stepping in a large puddle and getting water into your sock. I don't wish to dwell on this one. 0/10. Maybe even -1/10 on a bad day.

-Puddle Pals: This, however, is quite cute! The Puddle Pals sound like a group of silly whimsical fellas from a cartoon, and the Mean Gills would work quite well as that kind of dynamic if they were in a series where they did not have to withstand The Horrors (as is the way of the Life Series). While the 'D' illiteration in Damp Dudes made it sound more uncomfortable, the 'P' illiteration makes Puddle Pals sound catchy and rhythmic. I approve. 7/10

-Mean Shells: ...I'm glad, at least, that this got reworked into the final name of Mean Gills. It sounds awkward, and the reference isn't apparent upon reading it.

-Sal-men: I forgot to review the Sal men🙁 Post over. Go home

[feyd-meowtha]

Hi hopr you don't mind me just busting in with zero small talk, but Please can you throw me all your Feyd-Rautha headcanons, I need juice for my Feydpaul fixation ❤❤❤ (also Hi! nice to uhh know you sorry for the awkwardness i developed as a lonely child in school)

I do not mind in the slightest! Hello! I've never been much for small talk anyway so this suits me just fine.

This is actually a little difficult for me because while I obviously do form headcanons, I write fic after all, i'm not very good at conjuring them up out of context. However I will do my best to supply you with what you need. These are mostly based on the book but a little influenced by the various adaptations and defo by that one Moebius illustration (you know the one).

Here we go!

He was born on Lankiveil and only briefly lived with his brother before he left to go to Geidi Prime.

He had a happy childhood with his parents who loved him a great deal

Their house on Lankiveil was big enough but not as large as you would expect from his father's status of count. They didn't have servants and took care of the place on their own at the request of his mother Emmi who was a Lankiveil native and found it ridiculous that the high born didn't do anything for themselves.

His mother wasn't a Bene Gesserit herself but did have some connection to the order, maybe through the other female members of her family who kept an eye on Feyd and fed back to the missionaria

Abulard (his father) was blonde so Feyd got his dark (i hc aubern) curly hair from his mother. He also has her eyes.

His mother/father liked to play music and they had musical instruments in the home when he was young. He loved to sit and listen to them, but he hasn't touched an instrument since he was brought to Geidi Prime.

He was taken by his uncle when he was quite young (between 8 and 12) and either his mother was killed at his uncle's orders (and abulard killed by rabban) when this happened OR he was taken away and Emmi kept imprisoned, then either through manipulation or force his uncle made him kill her at a later time. I am staunchly anti the idea that he killed her of his own volition.

He was popular with the court though always treated with some suspicion as both an off-worlder

The Harkonnens in my 'standard' hc are much more in line with the book and sci-fi channel presentations where there is a certain touch of campiness to them and Feyd thusly dresses pretty effeminately and has long hair p similar to the Moebius drawing. (The Harkonnens in APTIUT are p different to this of course)

The Harkonnens speak Galach but most people on Geidi Prime speak Geidi which is relatively close to Lenkiveili which is Feyd's first language. AS a result he speaks very good Geidi, unlike his uncle and brother who barely speak any, seeing it as common and beneath them to learn the language of their people.

I think that his capacity for casual cruelty is something that he learned while on Geidi Prime and not something innate or that he grew up with. As far as he sees it, this is the only way to survive and those who oppose him deserve what they get. He has a very 'me against the world' attitude thanks to the deaths of his parents and everything he's lost. He is suspicious of everyone and makes a point of not getting close to people for fear of getting hurt.

related to that, contrary to what the recent films said, he has no interest in honour and is totally happy to lie, cheat and swindle his way into what he wants. He is a cheater through and through and not afraid to admit it. As he sees it, is his opponent is stupid enough not to cheat too, then they deserve to lose.

He is very particular about his diet and training regimen, partially because once he got old enough they became a few of the things in his life that he could actually control. He is paranoid about his figure thanks to a fear of becoming greedy and fat like his uncle, who he detests. As a result of this some of this his eating is rigid almost to the point of being disordered.

He is equally particular about his physical appearance, knowing that his looks are one of his greatest weapons and liking how they set him apart from his brother and uncle.

Where he is a little more indulgent is in alcohol and drugs which are plentiful on Geidi Prime and which he uses as an escape from the worst parts of his life.

I also am anti the 'kills people at random' aspect of the movie portrayal. I think that while he gets off on violence, he would see that kind of behaviour as stupid and indulgent. He intends to position himself as the 'better harkonnen' to the landsraad and people so that random violence wouldn't fit with his plans at all.

he has been very interested in Paul and all of the Atreides since he first heard about it and listened to all stories of him that he could find with keen interest.

He loves games, especially those that involve an element of bluffing.

He likes to gamble.

Ok I think i'm gonna call it a day there, I hope that's okay and you enjoyed my very disorganised mess of thoughts!

Thanks so much for stopping by <3

[msmargaretmurry]

I'm so sorry, this is totally not in response to the compliment post you reblogged (I'm afraid I can only compliment you un-ominously, you are my favourite author in the mattdrai fandom and ily ❤️)

but I've been meaning to send you this ask for the last two days and I can't wait any longer, I HAVE to know!! I know you're a busy person - so feel free to ignore this or answer it when you have time or keep your response really short!

So. I'm doing my quarterly HAW reread right now and I have two new questions that I think (?) I never asked you before.

during the scene in the dressing room of the gym, what are leon's thoughts? matthew is obviously a little ... affected by unexpected physical contact but I'm wondering about leon. is he only thinking "what a weirdo" or if he's taken aback by his own reaction too? what is going through his mind? please tell meeeeee!

when is the first time leon puts on matthew's shirt at home and in what context? does he already have feelings for Matthew? what is he thinking when he does it? when is the first time he wears it in front of his teammates and do they call him out on his non-existent connection to st. louis? I need more details about this soooo badly.

THANK YOU!

my dear miriam, i am always accepting non-ominous compliments 😂❤ thank you, ily. please find the answers to your inquiries under the cut.

1) the scene in the dressing room at the gym — both of them are such messes in this scene, lmao. matthew is being a dick because he's in a mood, and leon is confused and annoyed and also coming off as a dick, especially as seen through matthew's pov, who is just assuming the worst of leon's opinion of him at every turn and reading every hint of brusqueness or sarcasm as plain old dislike.

leading up to this scene, leon's been in toronto for a few days. he's mostly having a pretty good time, hanging out with connor, seeing some of the other guys, etc. connor keeps ribbing him that he should talk to matthew; leon keeps rolling his eyes and saying he's not interested anymore, which isn't NOT true, but mostly the thing is that matthew has never shown any real interest in leon, which has wounded leon's pride and therefore he has decided he's not interested anymore. (connor doesn't 100% believe him when he says he's not interested anymore, but mostly he just doesn't care if leon is lying or not because it's fun to tease him.)

anyway on this particular day he's partly kind of in a bad mood because his ankle is bothering him, and partly kind of in a bad mood because he feels a little like he's being made fun of, between matthew's instagram antics and how brady keeps coming to talk to him and connor. he's feeling a little paranoid that maybe someone overheard one of connor's teasing comments and told the tkachuks about it and now matthew thinks leon actively has a thing for him. which, even if he did, connor has earned the right to tease leon about stuff like that. matthew has not. and connor has always said matthew's a nice enough guy off the ice but he's been kind of standoffish the whole time leon's been here, and leon isn't going to automatically take it personally like SOME people, but it is making him wary!

so he sees matthew head into the locker room and is maybe staring after him a little obviously, and connor is teasing him like, hey, seems like a great chance to go talk to him, and leon is in just a grumpy enough mood to be like, fine, i'll go talk to him, and it's going to go badly, and then you can get off my back about it, right? and he stalks over there trying the whole way to think of something normal to say, but it does not work, so he gets into the locker room and just kind of blurts the first thing in his head, and the conversation stumbles and faceplants from there.

the thing is, if they'd had this conversation on a different day, when leon was in a better mood and matthew was maybe a little less in his own head, it probably would have gone much better. maybe leon would even have tried flirting a little (or a lot). as it is, even with the collective moodiness of both of them, he still has the urge to flirt a little — which is SO annoying, because of course connor is right and he's still interested. extremely annoying thing to have to admit to yourself when the guy in question is standing there outwardly being a dick to you. it makes him determined to not let matthew wind him up, which of course gets him more wound up, which is how he ends up grabbing matthew by the wrist. there is definitely a moment when they're standing there like that where he has this flash of a vision in his head like: what if this sexual tension is mutual, and he kisses matthew right now, hard enough to bruise, and they just have wild nasty sex right there in the locker room.

but obviously this does not happen 😂 he wouldn't have tried it even if connor hadn't come in, he still would have just gone home annoyed about the fact that he is apparently definitely still into matthew tkachuk, even when matthew is being a dick. (this encounter is also a big part of why he's so wary and put-upon when he runs into matthew at boots, lol.)

so that is that!!

2) leon and matthew's shirt from boots — so obviously leon wears it for the rest of that night at the festival, and then shoves it in his bag with his other dirty clothes, washes it when he gets home, kind of ignores it for the rest of the summer because he feels very weird about how things went down in that rv, but does grab it when he packs for edmonton just in case matthew wants it back at some point. because he has already decided he needs to talk to matthew, so if matthew wants the shirt back, he wants to have it on hand.

he doesn't actually start wearing it until after the first time matthew comes over to his house, because at that point he figures if matthew wanted it back he'd've asked for it. his matthew feelings aren't super strong at that point but they are like — they're there, he's not in denial about that. it's not a big moment or anything, he's just grabbing something to change into to bum around the house for the rest of the evening, and it's there, and he's like… sure, i could wear this.

he does not expect to get in his feelings about it, but as he's lying around with bowie that night he does get a little in his feelings about it, because he keeps thinking maybe he'll send matthew a selfie of him wearing it and then chickening out. he's weirdly nervous about it! and that forces him to think about why he's nervous, which forces him to acknowledge that he doesn't just have feelings, he's actually pretty invested in what they're doing, and he'd be really bummed out if matthew wasn't also invested. "selfie in your clothes" feels like real relationship behavior, so maybe he'll just save that for when he's a little more sure that matthew is on the same page as he is.

the first time he wears it in front of his non-connor teammates is when the oilers take a roadtrip to st. louis 😂 they chirp him about being a tourist. but after that he can wear it whenever he wants! everyone thinks he just bought it in st. louis!

i hope these were satisfactory answers to your questions!! i'm glad you're still enjoying the fic ❤❤

[foggyfanfic]

Vent Post about Writing Woes

They weren't lying when they said middles are hard. Just finished part one of my current big project, and I got part two mapped out in a very broad sense, but I just, I am struggling. I am writing the same version of the scene below the cut for the third time and I don't know if I'm happy with version three either. I love this AU I've come up with, and I love the ending I have planned, and other than the fact I wish I had a team of researchers to help me with historical accuracy I love the world building I've done, but this scene! I've tried skipping ahead a little, and coming back to it, I can write it out again and again but each time it just doesn't hit the write notes and I love the character interactions but it's just not... it doesn't have quite the right punch.

This is the version I definitely won't be using, because as much as I love Leandra, when I decided I would reuse my OC's for this AU it was more because I needed side characters, not a protagonist. She's too centered in a scene that is ultimately supposed to be about Pepa, her anxieties, and her relationship with her family. The current iteration I'm trying is just between her and Bruno, time will tell if that sticks for me.

Anyways, I'm just venting, I'm frustrated; context (including the scene in question) under the cut.

Context: The premise of the AU is that Pepa is a Disney Princess tm except instead of a Disney movie her story is a political intrigue set in the Disney Princess Extended Universe (the DPEU if you will). In Disney Princess tradition I have come up with a fake country that is totally not Colombia in the same way Arandelle is totally not Norway or Denmark. It is ultimately an 1850-60's Pepa/Felix fake dating AU and in the scene below Leandra is in the process of being pulled into the Madrigals' orbit because I needed a character to play spy, she's pretending to be a man because 1) plot reasons and 2) I had an idea for the funniest idiots to lovers plot for her and Bruno.

The next morning, Leandra was woken by one of the Madrigal sisters shouting, “You agreed to do what?!”

Leandra drummed the fingers of her good hand on the blankets of her borrowed bed, then decided that yes, she was more nosy than was ultimately sensible and she needed to know what had been agreed to and why it was shocking. Or she would die, probably.

She grabbed the medallion holding her glamor off the bedside table and put it on, then grabbed her trousers off the bed post and stepped into them. When she peeked her head out her door she briefly made eye contact with Bruno, who was doing the same, then immediately whipped her head towards his sisters in hopes that he wouldn’t see her blush. The witch had said the glamor would basically just be her, but male, so she couldn’t count on it to hide her expressions. Anything more complicated would have been out of her budget and would have taken too long.

“-not that big a deal, geez Juli, you’re acting like I joined a death cult. And look, you woke up Bruno. And…”

“Raul,” Leandra supplied.

“Right… Raul.”

“You agreed to ‘fake’ court the king, who you happen to have a crush on, knowing damn well becoming queen would be your worst nightmare,” Julieta said, crossing her arms, “it might not be joining a death cult, but it’s certainly a brain dead decision.”

“It’s to help draw out whoever’s trying to kill Bruno!”

“How does uh how does you making yourself the protagonist of a cheesy romance novel draw out the person trying to kill me?”

“Maybe the killer likes romance novels,” Leandra said before she could think better of it, “have we tried leaving a few under a box propped up by a stick?”

Both Julieta and Pepa sent them “shut up” looks, so Leandra raised her hands in surrender and backed into her borrowed room. She left the door cracked open while she tied her sash and buckled her belt, so she could continue eavesdropping on their conversation.

“I am actually confused,” Bruno said, “h-how does this draw out the person trying to kill me?”

“By putting a target on your sister’s back,” Minister Alma’s voice joined the conversation, dripping with disapproval, “if the purpose of these assassination attempts is to weaken this kingdom, our killer will go after anyone the king shows signs of potentially marrying.”

“Which is exactly why it needs to be me. Because I can protect myself.”

Leandra nodded along with Pepa a little. She had heard tales of how powerful Pepa was, only an idiot would attack her. She frowned and popped her head back out.

“Everybody knows you can shoot lightning, the fact that it’s you might actually dissuade any attempts,” she pointed out, accidentally cutting off whatever Minister Alma was about to say.

The minister did not seem put out by the interruption however, instead she gestured at Leandra and said, “That’s an excellent point. You doing this might not even work. It’s entirely likely that the only thing that will come out of this is a broken heart.”

Pepa scowled at Leandra, “Oh, who asked you?”

“Um, kind of sort of the king,” Leandra said, shrugging her good shoulder, “he wants me to help catch the guy so…”

“I thought he wanted you to guard me?” Bruno said, then sputtered, cheeks bright red, “n-not that-! I-I mean, that’s j-just what he told me, you don’t have to-.”

“Both, technically,” Leandra said, trying to spare the poor man the embarrassment of further rambling, “he wants me to do both.”

“Ah,” Bruno said, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Ah-ha!” Pepa suddenly shouted, pointing a finger at Julieta.

Julieta scowled at her, “No! No 'ah-ha', I didn’t say anything!”

“But I saw it, I saw that look on your face, you just had a thought you don’t want me to know about. Probably because it’d prove that I should totally do this!”

“You don’t know that, maybe I was just thinking that your hair is stupid,” Julieta sniffed, pointing her nose in the air.

“Your hair is stupid,” Pepa retorted.

“Girls,” Alma said, sighing deeply, “you’re adults.”

“Exactly, I’m an adult, which means I get to make my own decisions and I’ve decided to try and trap the asshole trying to kill my brother.”

“Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you’re a smart adult, apparently,” Julieta said.

“Except I am a smart adult, and you know it, because you just had ‘Pepa has a point’ face,” Pepa accused.

Julieta didn’t say anything, she just scowled at her sister.

Leandra shuffled her feet, examining Julieta, then slowly guessed at what Julieta had been thinking, “Having Pepa on his arm will probably dissuade any attempts to attack the king directly?”

Julieta whipped her head around to scowl at Leandra again, “Oh, who asked you!”

“The king did,” Pepa said, smugly, “and it is another excellent point. Thank you…”

“Raul,” Leandra reminded her.

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Thank you Raul.”

“It might be an excellent point, but it is one that contradicts your stated reason for doing this,” Alma huffed, “you can not help draw out our killer if you are also dissuading them from acting through your mere presence.”

Pepa frowned, but apparently didn’t have an argument ready for that.

“Are uh are you sure you’re not just doing this so you have an excuse to flirt with the king?” Bruno asked.

From the way Pepa grimaced, Leandra knew that was at least part of it. From the way she set her jaw, Leandra could tell it was only part of it.

“No,” Pepa said, then spent a few seconds struggling to find the words.

“You want to help and don’t know how?” Leandra asked.

“Sí,” Pepa said, at first triumphant, happy to have the words handed to her, then a little sheepishly, “sí, I… hate that somebody is trying to hurt my brother and I don’t want to just wait around for each assassin they send. I want to stop them. Don’t you guys?”

“Not if it puts you in danger,” Bruno immediately huffed, drawing Leandra’s attention. He had taken her by surprise before, so she studied him carefully while he spoke, “the last thing I want is you putting yourself in danger for my sake.”

“Well the last thing I want is for you to be in danger, so I guess you’re just going to have to deal.”

“Except you’re out voted, I would also like it if you didn’t put yourself in danger,” Julieta said.

“Sí. If I had my way, none of you would be in any danger, ever. It’s one thing that outside forces keep endangering your brother, I don’t need you endangering yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” Pepa waved their concerns off, “and even better, I will be involved in the investigation. I won’t have to wait around and hope, I’ll be doing something. That’s- you can’t stop me.”

Leandra leaned against the doorframe and watched the other occupants of the room to see who would break against Pepa’s stubborn will first. She expected Minister Alma to be the strongest hold out, but she broke second after Julieta, it was Bruno who held out the longest. But eventually he sighed and shook his head, then turned back into his room.

See what I mean? Leandra is too centered. Tried writing the same argument without her there but then I have to make the Madrigals way better at communicating with each other as a whole than they would be. That's how I arrived at doing this one on one, if their dysfunctional family is anything like mine then they are way better at talking to each other in pairs than they are all together. It's going fine but I'll have to see if it's still fine when I've finished writing this scene again, I'll have to see if the mood flows from the chapter before this one, into this, into the chapter after this well. Then I'll go from there.

Ugh! Whatever. I refuse to give up on this AU but part two is definitely kicking my ass! Might continue ranting about this one to help myself stay motivated, because I will finish this one. I will.