#it's like 3 am rn but i got an itch and wanted to scratch it :)

[palabraasinnecesarias]

comfort

ao3 | ff.net

ship: ranma/akane words: 1,221

They had been back from Jusenkyo, safe and sound, it should have been enough.

It was the middle of the night, the entire city asleep it seemed, and Akane couldn’t help but lift her heavy eyelids due to being awaken by a light shake. She moaned hesitantly, gently lifting her body as she fixed her gaze once it landed on her fiancé. She could hardly make his figure in the dark bedroom, but she knew it was him.  

She sat up completely and reached over to click her desk lamp on, noticing Ranma wincing apologetically at her. And then it dawned on her, he was waking her again, for the second night in a row. 

The young girl adjusted herself firmly as quickly as she could, her hands reaching forward until latching themselves on his as she asked, “Ranma, are you alright?” She could feel his large hands easily clutch their hold onto hers, clammy and warm. He was trembling, not horribly, but enough to make her worry.  

He nodded once, and then seemingly retracted with a mild shake to his head, whispering a horsed, “Sorry.”  

“Hey,” she called to him, shifting closer to him with a weary smile, wobbly and faint, “it’s okay. I promise,” she insisted with a soft voice of her own, her cool composure soothing his mind if only for a mere moment. He was looking at her, his thick eyebrows furrowing, taking a moment to clear his mind.  

And then he winced again, taking his eyes off her, crouching forward to inhaled deeply before releasing.  

One of her palms pushed upwards onto his arm, squeezing tenderly before dragging it back down, finding herself reminding him that everything was alright, he just needed to continue breathing.  

After some time, noting he was appearing to compose himself compared to just moments ago, she heard Ranma clear his throat. “I, uh,” he said, appearing embarrassed as he couldn’t seem to face her, “sorry, ‘Kane.”  

“Ranma,” she sighed, her eyebrows knitting together as her hands reached to touch his face, each palm warmly cupping his cheeks and gently forcing him to look at her, “don’t apologize. You have nothing to say sorry for.” And she meant every word. The corners of her eyes squinted lightly, her brown eyes drawing him in, feeling his heart squeeze at the way she was looking at him. She was beyond beautiful, and he felt himself fight the intense desperation to pull her close.  

Her dark wispy hairs framed her round face perfectly, with her naturally flushed cheeks glowing upon her fair skin as her long eyelashes batted so slowly at him. She offered an essence of innocence, angelic almost, and it hurt somehow. She was alive, and breathing, calming him.  

They had been back from Jusenkyo, safe and sound, it should have been enough. But the mere memory of then, just days ago, dragged a ferocious nature within him concerning her. He let his cheek press onto her palm, melting at the way her still-worried face smiled faintly at him. Remembering those heinous moments, unable to ignore the grimace of pain stinging about his chest, piercing through his lungs, causing some sort of physical pain throughout his body.  

Ranma pulled her to him and held her tight, the urges to feel her breathing against him a lot stronger than he’d thought.  

Akane’s face pressed against his chest, gasping softly as his arms wrapped themselves around her, feeling his nose pin itself at the top of her hair. She could feel his beating heart, the heat of his skin sticking onto hers, his light scent of sandalwood emitting from his muscle tank. And she knew why he had sought her out in the middle of the night, having admitted it to her just yesterday.  

Ranma dreams pertaining her had begun twisting into unpleasant ones, apparently very realistic he found himself rushing to her. He needed to know that she was alive, that she was breathing, and not...dead. 

At first, he felt foolish knowing very well that she was fine; she’d been the one to announce them home when they had first arrived back to Nerima, seemingly returning to normal around the Tendo household. But there was an urge itching at the back of her mind to follow her each time she’d leave his sight to go elsewhere, like her bedroom, or to bathe. He just needed to know, finding himself casually knocking at her door, or waiting outside the bathroom just in case.  

Last night, Akane had walked in on him just as he was about to go searching for her, noticing he wasn’t well. She sat with him, easing his tension until he could breathe again. “We’re home, we’re safe.”  

“I just...” he swallowed a lump gnawing at his throat, and she could hear it so clearly, so crisp, at her ear, feeling the way his fingertips firmly dug into her flesh, “I gotta’ make sure you’re...”  

“I’m okay,” she whispered, encouragingly, and she’d known he heard her by the way his arms tighten. There was comfort in the way he held her.  

She hadn’t known for how long they’ve stayed sitting, embraced within his hold, but she could feel him begin to doze off as his cheek slipped from the top of her head. She shook herself gently, softly calling his name a few times until he responded back with muffled groan.  

“You should go to bed,” she said, smiling wider at the way he squeezed her again.  

“Not...yet,” he sighed, adjusting his chin on her shoulder.  

She pulled away, slow enough to make sure he didn’t go stumbling down on her bed, angling herself to search his gaze, grinning once she’d found his drowsy stare. He was sleepy, and very adorable. “Hey,” she called again, her smile still large and vibrant, “wanna’ spend the night?”  

That had been enough to slap him awake. The pigtail-wearing martial artist blinked a few times, thinking he was a lot sleepier that he’d imagine. But Akane chuckled silently, her hands finding themselves on his cheeks again, her cheeky grin playful and lively as she said, “Get your head out of the gutter.”  

“I wasn’t- I didn’t- I-”  

“I just meant,” she pushed strands of short hairs behind her ear as she glanced away momentarily, feeling herself get flustered at her own invitation, “if you wanna’. You don’t have to-”  

“I do.”  

She looked back at him, her meek smile small, and she nodded. “Okay.”  

Settling into her bed hadn’t been weird like she’d imagine it’d be. They both laid underneath her covers after clicking the lamp off, making it harder to see each other in the darkness.  

“Thank you, ‘Kane,” he said lowly, and she felt the strings of her heart get tugged, understanding his need of comfort.  

“Night, Ranma.”  

[silverskye13]

I absolutely adore your writing style. You've mentioned being inspired by authors. Care to share which ones and/or some books you'd strongly recommend? I'm in a but of lurch on books I want to read right now and your writing style really scratches a certain itch so finding something similar would be lovely

I've answered this question a couple of times but! I will always answer again. I read a lot of books :3

I will warn you, I read a lot of epic/high fantasy. If that's not your thing, you probably won't like a lot of my recs, whoops.

This got really long I apologize. Once again. I read a lot.

T. Kingfisher

In my opinion, anything written by her is a win. Her World of the White Rat series of books are by far my favorite [Clocktaur Wars, Saint of Steel series, Swordheart], but she also writes very good horror, and her Sworn Soldier books are kickass.

She is a major inspiration for my writing style, especially internal thoughts and sense of humor. I try to emulate her way of having fantastic characters think and act on mundane things [i.e. a scary paladin man who gushes about knitting].

Blanket warning that all of her Temple of the White Rat books are romantasy, rated E for explicit. But as someone who normally hates [or just doesn't get / enjoy romance books] I still recommend them. The world is rich, some of them have intense horror and suspense moments, and the characters all have amazing dynamics and chemistry.

My favorites by her are: Paladin's Strength, Paladin's Faith, and What Moves the Dead

Nicholas Eames

Still on the style inspiration train. I really sat down and studied his use of description and character voice shortly before writing Redstone and Skulk. If you like how I handle descriptions, planting and worldbuilding, I recommend reading his work. I do a yearly reread of Kings of the Wyld, and while I didn't like Bloody Rose as much, it does an awesome breakdown of problematic heroes.

These books are rated R, for graphic depictions of violence and some pretty raunchy humor/language. The first book Kings of the Wyld has very light romance [unless you count Clay Cooper increasingly thinking about how awesome his wife is, or the group's barbarian falling in love with an avenging angel], but Bloody Rose does have a lesbian bard main character who falls in love with a kickass tattoo witch. I love them, your honor.

Terry Pratchett

I mean, yeah, everyone recommends Terry Pratchett, and if they don't, it's because they haven't read his books in a while and forgot to recommend him. I really like his Death books, and the Samuel Vimes books. For the standalones in Discworld, I also really, really liked Small Gods and Monstrous Regiment. If you like my style of optimistic storytelling [no matter how dark, there is always a happy ending] read his books. And if you like RnS's existentialism, the idea of struggling with, and against, death, read Morte and Reaper Man. Especially Reaper Man.

The Ranger's Apprentice Series by Jonathan Langan

YA fantasy at its finest! If you like how I handle character dynamics and ride-or-die friendships, you will like these books. I was reading these books a lot when I started really really writing in high school, and I didn't realize just how much they inspired my writing style until I reread them last year. Rated PG, maybe PG-13 in the later books when the characters are older and the stakes are a little higher. It's a fun low fantasy world set in Basically England, and it's just. Nice. Will and Horace are so dear to me.

Also apparently he is restarting? The series? Rebooting? New protagonists. I haven't read any of them yet but I am looking very interestedly.

--------------

More books in no particular order that I am recommending you read because I love them:

---------------

House of Open Wounds by Adrian Tchaikovsky

High fantasy, PG-13, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Religious Persecution, Fantasy Nazis

This is the second book in a series, but I couldn't get into the first book and only read this one, whoops. This book basically poses the question: what if Small Gods by Terry Pratchett, but the last man on earth who believes in God isn't as nice, and has some major character flaws, and also doesn't like God. Also also, what if this was set in Fantasy World War 2, and he was forced to work for the Nazis. This book is very grim, and focuses on a medical unit during Magical World War 2. There are a lot of wound descriptions and war crimes. But it made me feel a lot of things, and I was genuinely upset one of the characters stayed evil at the end of the book. There is no Good and Evil in this story, only Evil and Morally Gray. If that isn't your thing, give it a pass, and I mean that. There are Themes here that are made to make you uncomfy. But there is also found family, and some really strong questions about religion and morals, and the book really makes you Think about the character decisions. I liked it a lot.

The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett

High fantasy mystery thriller, R, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Language

Oh it's good. It's so good. Holmes and Watson style mystery in a world where everyone has biological mutations and enhancements powered by Kaiju that rise up every year to try and murder everyone. It's really cool. I was hooked from beginning to end. The main character is amazing, with hilarious deadpan humor, and his Holmes is an eccentric autistic woman with zero filter. The "Rated R for Language" above is 98% because of her.

[Note: I'm not an authority on good autistic representation, but I feel like she stands out as really well done. It makes more sense in the context of the novel, but she's created a space for herself where things like noise/light sensitivity are used to her advantage, hyperfixations are portrayed both as useful to her craft in research and a hazard to the people she's interrogating, and she has managed to trick half the cast into thinking her "quirks" are because of augmentations she doesn't have. It was a really cool and original way of putting autism into a character without infantilizing or "unfeeling logical machine"-ing them in the process. If that's something you've been looking for representation-wise, I think this is worth checking out.]

Aside aside, the world building is cool. The characters are cool. They mystery makes sense. I just. I can't talk about this book too much or I'll tell you the whole story. I get too excited.

Aliens: Phalanx by Scott Sigler

Sci-fi horror, PG-13, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Language

Ever wanted to get into the Aliens franchise but thought the sci-fi was a little much? Ever wanted to know how medieval peasants would handle a xenomorph invasion? Do I have the book for you!

This book is sci-fi horror that takes a turn for the vengeful at the end. Made me feel a lot of things. Got really emotional over some of the character deaths. But when the characters win, they win big, and their achievements feel weighty. You really get the sense of human tenacity clawing life back from the jaws of post-apocalypse. And also? Xenomorphs? Cool? If you've seen the movies, you'll really appreciate how this book takes the conventional tropes and spins them. And if you haven't, the story attacks them in an original way that explains it to the uninitiated. If you know nothing about the movies you will still know what's going on.

Penric's Demon by Lois McMaster Bujold

Fantasy adventure, PG-13, Minor depictions of violence, mystery/puzzle elements

Fun books? Fun books. Ever wondered what would happen if an uninitiated, but very kind and sweet 18 year old boy was possessed by an ancient demon with a great sense of humor and near limitless power? Now you know! Penric and his demon Desdemona have fantastic rapport, and every book in the series just further cements how awesome their relationship is. Fast little reads in a great little universe. And the gods are cool.

The Traitor Son Cycle by Miles Cameron

Epic fantasy, R, Graphic Depictions of Violence, major and minor character death, sexual themes, language

Gritty realistic knights -- fighting very unrealistic magical creatures. They're outmatched, but not out skilled! Especially with the Red Knight leading the way. These books had just, an awesome way of drawing me in. Cool world, interesting if flawed characters, and a growth arc that turns an entire company of criminals and mercenaries into basically paladins. Plus there is an awesome overarching plot involving god-like dragons and angels.

The only downsides to this series is there are a lot of characters and POVs, and the author is not afraid to kill them off at a moment's notice. Characters you've grown to love over three books will be killed off screen when a monster took flight, or a boglin hoard swarmed the front lines. I won't finish the final book in the series because I will be uh, incredibly pissed if one of my favorite characters dies, and I'm getting the vibes she probably will >:/

Alas, this is the nature of grim-dark fantasy.

Cameron has written other books under different pseudonyms, but to date this series is the only one that's really sunk its teeth in me.

Covenant of Steel Trilogy by Anthony Ryan

Low Fantasy, R, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major and minor character death, religious persecution, language, sexual assault

What happens when a criminal's entire crew is slaughtered for their crimes, and the only survivor turns into a religious zealot? No wait come back it's good I promise! The Pariah starts pretty grim and heavy. We reach our character's emotional low point about a third of the way through the first book, but what blooms from that is a slow burn about faith, and the danger of a Saint who gets to build her own radicalozed morality, rising on the tide of her faithful followers. It is all told in memoir format by the main character, before the final chapters where we get a sense of his here and now, which is a format that Ryan loves writing in [his Bloodsong series does this as well, and while that series is good, it's clear every fumble he made writing that he tried to fix writing CoS]. If I had to really pin this book down, I would have to say it's the story of Joan of Arc if she had actually succeeded in her crusades, and how dangerous she would have been because of the blindness of her followers and her own feelings of personal holiness. The main character even falls for her charms, heck, I as a reader fell for her charms. It was only after she started massacring "heretics" that I started to go, "Wait a fucking second, she's the antagonist???" If you like really intense stories about how insidious the side of "good" can be, and the terrors of religion, and just the epic slow burn of that building up and breaking down, give this a read. However, this is a very dark series. Read with caution and care. By the end I was very burnt out on all the death and atrocity.

Cold Storage by David Koepp

Thriller/horror, PG-13, Depictions of Violence, Fungi-based body horror, Language

Not nearly as intense of the last rec! Cold Storage is the story of a mutated mold spore that works just like that stuff that makes ants do weird things -- but to people! Oh and also it's about some really funny main characters that don't know it exists, even though it's growing right below their feet. A lighter read that will give you some good scares, and a pair of characters you're desperately rooting for. I love it :3 it's a fun romp. Mind the exploding deer.

Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells

Sci-fi, PG-13, Depictions of Violence, Language

Another fun romp! Murderbot is a security unit made to protect humans -- and it's hacked its programming and just wants to sit down and watch TV all day. Unfortunately, humans are very good at getting themselves killed, and SOMEONE has to keep them safe. At least Murderbot is programmed to do it correctly.

This story starts as fun sci-fi, and as the books progress, really breaks down the lines between human sentience and... Well, any other sentience. It asks hard questions about whether something Must be human in order to be accepted in a society, and how badly we as people want to fit everything into understandable boxes -- even if the things we want to understand don't fucking like it, thank you very much! There's a lot of fun action, a lot of characters that have really won my heart, and, man, I just want Murderbot to be happy.

The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman

High fantasy, R, graphic depictions of violence, sexual assault, language, major character death

A thief accosts a knight on the road -- and ends up going on a road trip with her filled with witches, monsters, giant corvids, man-eating goblins, giants, and more! All to save a princess. This book really grew on me when I read it a second time. The magic system is cool, the world building is stellar, the goblins and giants are fucking scary. The character has a dirty mouth and his humor runs to the toilet a lot, so keep that in mind. This is by far the lightest and funniest book Buehlman has ever written though, so if you like it, brace yourself for grim dark if you read the rest of his work. Especially if you read Between Two Fires.

There's my book recs! Have fun!

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

I am living blogging my reaction to the second watch through of WDAPTEO 4 bc the first run through was so much

00:00- I screamed when I saw the notif. I was alone in the car. Just pulled up to my apt looked at my phone and screamed “ no way “ I still can’t believe we got it

00:01- hi, they are SO BEAUTIFUL I’m squealing. I cannot stop staring it’s embarassing

00:27 what’s going on here? “Nothing” my heart. The smiles

00:50 oh I am LOVING the feature wall. And fish tank reveal project??

01:00 how dare they throw THAT japhan photo up there like it’s just some example. Who the hell do they think they are- also I want that doomed hoodie :( he is snug as a bug in a rug

01:50 terror not even 2 minute in and crack

02:03 I’m sorry Dan asking Phil about TikTok stuff is precious

02:13(What is cba)

02:39 I CACKLED. Phil’s sarcastic ass omg

02:44 dans little pat

02:58 phivorce

03:05 I know the ft, they are friends of course. But seeing the messages really warms my heart. Like it’s so normal why am I emotional

03:52 of course Phil sends millions of memes

04:10 how in the fuck did Phil catch his phone what??? Ft dans face during the whole interaction.

Ad time —— 04:25. Im sorry Dan looks fucking amazing, his hair is so curled and pretty? And he looks so comfy cozy and soft??? My Dannie side is really coming out rn

04:59 handsome devil, damn straight. Love this man he’s too precious for this world

05:23 🍑

05:55 are the Brits okay??? Bone daddies?? I’m too American for this

06:30 perfectly encapsulated Dan and Phil energy

06:35 Dan saying dude scratches a weird itch in my brain

06:55 again! Totally normal to call a friend in a taxi. But this moment makes them so real in my mind like yes. Call that friend. In that taxi. Make it less awkward. Why did I like this moment so much

07:05 A PRETEND CONVO OF COURSE HE WOULD. He’s so real for that

07:34 “these are very dan and Phil”

07:42 I’m in pain. Koala content and ouch I can’t even put into words

08:44 three days without a text sounds exaggerated. Or lie. Like cmon. All those messages and convos and yall went 3 days without a word?? Sounds fake

08:58 asking what he should do for his nails!!? Again totally normal but UGH I love their friendship

09:01 also Phil coming in with a STELLAR idea, hope to see it happen

09:11 Phil’s a little shit OMG he hated the nails Dan got.

09:38: dans precious little selfies

09:44 also who tf is that that does not look like Dan

09:52 wtf do you mean that they had the same weird Swedish bakery???? 10 years apart???? WHAT THE HELL??????

10:35 fuckin nerds ft cute ft selfie

10:52 Dan in Phil’s glasses hi what the fuck? Precious. Phil loves to take photos of Dan sleeping.

11:02 jump. Scare.

11:28 PHIL CALLED HIS MOM. NURSE LESTER.

12:11 Dan stalking the ring doorbell is not something I expected?

12:20 glad to know Phil and I share that we can’t hear someone saw our name bc it’s too intimate

13:16 ordering a roast dinner is so cute idk why

13:35 jump. Scare.

14:26 I hate them :( i so long for what they have

15:04 they didn’t see death note the musical!! Haters!!!!

15:20 HOT

16:00 Phil papping Dan>>>>>>

16:20 I rewatched this part so many times. Thsi entire sequence. This whole. Dare i say SCENE. Disgustingly familiar. Disgustingly cute. I- karaoke game???? What??? It was for them

17:06 omatone :(

18:22 hot? Worrying? Hmm???

18:45 Phil is so dramatic I love him

19:01 genre to dinner? I don’t get them

19:10 DAAAAAN AHHHHH

19:20 SCRIPTS AH???????3@2/9/@/9@22929 more writer Dan

20:17 this is so familiar

20:50 this has “would you still love me if I was a worm” energy? Can’t explain

22:53 “we dan and phil-ed it” we have to steal that! Asap’

23:24 when Dan sits up he is soooo much taller than Phil but he constantly slumps down and looks up to Phil. It’s very cute to watch.

24:30 oh they are fully embracing the joint channel and slowly moving away from gaming and honestly. I’m alright with it. They look so happy

Guys this was too much. So I just started reading fanfic and these conversations were right out of what I’ve been reading which is very odd tbh? But we were fed. This was amazing content and I can’t wait to see what the writers do with this. Cheers

[mychlapci]

Okay so im not actually sure on who ive sent this too, and im sobbing rn trying to remember. If i have sent this to you already i am sooo sorry i forgot to mark it as ‘sent’ in my notes </3

We need the list of baby-bearing decepticons, like..for me personally its gotta be tfp /G1 megatron for the win yet basically Every Megatron should be put in this position, yet i cannot get over his thick thighs and just- ufh he’s perfect and couldve been carrying babies for an entire series and we wouldnt have known any better because its just him but his waist makes me want to see him no hesitation stood infront of an army with a bunch of bitties demanding to be fed and he just hushes them with a growl before continuing to let Soundwave speak, then multitask feeding said bitties because they were getting on his nerves and carrier coding was fuddling his brain up and he couldnt get his words right, so now he’s feeding them and speaking with soundwave to the army about some sort of crazy, probably-isnt-going-to-work plan to raid the sun or something and like…Aint nobody gonna say nufin about it, because everyone’s staring, not paying attention because its just… Megatiddies.

And then when it actually comes to the time of the raid it goes horribly wrong because NOBODY paid attention to him nor Soundwave and the communications head just needs a break because even he got distracted and everyone’s too scared / aroused to tell Megatron to STOP feeding his children infront of the army because the raids go nowhere and they end up with more casualties.

But everyone got to see Megatiddies so nobody really cares if theyre missing a limb.

i like the implication that you’re sending this to multiple people and then like, comparing the answers.  don’t correct me on that, i love that.

also, your mind is so big. The thought of Megatron feeding his bitlets in the middle of command meetings and army pep-talks scratches every single itch I have. He’s trying to do his job and the little ones are constantly clawing at his legs and trying to climb up and he keeps getting distracted by growling them off of him, which only ever works for half a minute, and they’re back to annoying him. Obviously he can’t stand to leave them like that and after a while he ends up lifting the bitlets, wordlessly and without warning opening his chest plating to reveal his milk-heavy tits. The babies immediately latch onto his nozzles and start drinking greedily, with the entire decepticon army just looking in shock as Soundwave keeps on explaining the battle plans. Which are now going unlistened to. Everyone's too focused on Megatron’s boobs.

mhmmm, Megatron interrogating a captured autobot, but his bitlets need to be fed now, so when the prisoner is brought to him, Megatron has his titties out again. There’s something so hot and strangely intimidating about the brutish, cruel leader of the Decepticons sitting on his throne, cradling little sparklings as they suckle on his nozzles. He’s still got that hard look on his face-plate, talking like there’s nothing strange happening in the room, and the poor autobot captive has no idea what to do. Or better said, where to look.

[whollyjoly]

shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals <3

I AM SO BEHIND ON ASKS but HELLO PRETZ MY DEAR!!!

alright alright i think im just going to do my "on repeat" playlist because that feels like the right vibe!!

Don't Know What's Come Over You - The Ruen Brothers

look...i love the ruen brothers. i love them SO MUCH. have i used songs from them for moodboards in both the bob and the 911 fandoms?? yes yes i have. i will shout about them from the rooftops because i just love their music!!! SO MUCH!!!

also i got to see them in concert a few weeks back and they are just!! so talented AND so nice!!! ahhhhhh okay anyways

2. Dream Girl Evil - Florence + The Machine

i have been on SUCH a florence + the machine kick recently!! you can blame @xxluckystrike for reminding me just how much i love them a few months back 😅 and ive been OBSESSED ever since so thank you blu!!!

also idk what it is but with canon bi!buck, i just feel like he would fucking love f+atm okay?? so i am living not just vicariously through him but FOR him

3. The Storm in You - The Ruen Brothers

LOOK i said i was obsessed and so it is not surprising in the least that they're on my "on repeat" playlist multiple times 😅😅 this song IN PARTICULAR though is a personal fav!! there's something about it that just makes me want to dance?? like swing or blues dance, something slow on a summer evening with the sun bathing everything in a dark pink and golden glow...

(they also played a slow version of this at the concert i went to that made my heart MELT so im especially obsessed)

4. A.M. Radio - The Lumineers

look i've been a lumineers girlie for a long time, and this album is just SUCH easy listening for me!! if ever im feeling overwhelmed or anxious, this is one of my go-to albums to put on and just turn off my brain!!

is it basic hipster of me?? maybe. do i care?? HELL no!!

5. The Exception - Dustbowl Revival feat. The Secret Sisters

okay okay so this is funny because like?? i have NO idea where i found this song?? maybe it was on one of the daylists or something, but all i know is that i found it and theres something about it that scratches SUCH a good itch in my brain?? it's also sooooo cute, not just the song and the lyrics but the album art too!! look at that!! the lil astronauts and a flower!!

but like, tell me this doesnt just make your heart so happy:

and i could go forevermore / maybe we open a general store in some small town / where no one could find us

no matter what i say or what I do / i can't live without you 'cause you're the exception to the rule

its literally the most kicking my feet twirling my hair giggling song i can think of rn, i love it just SO much!!

ANYWAYS thank you so much for sending this to my pretz my dear!! i hope you are doing WONDERFULLY and i just adore you SO MUCH!! 🥰💖✨

[engagemythrusters]

time to watch what is, I am assuming, the most fucked up shit to ever happen to Mr Crosshair CT9904

God I’m excited to finally see him again!

LOOK IRS MY LITTLE BITCH

Retirement huh

“CT-9904, you’re out of uniform” (puts on helmet in the bitchiest way possible)

I hate this guy. Look am at him. He’s so punchable

OHHHH crosshair beeing snappy about clone hare

Also yeah I wanna punch that guy

But god I think… crosshair finally… finally realising how sucky the empire is…

Crosshair and his bigass backpack

Oh my god I can’t see why is everything so dark

BEARD CLONE

handsome boy!

I love this commander clone

YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU IDIOT I hate you lieutenant nolan

Oh god… oh god the line of helmets… oh god my heart breaks

Mayday I love you <3

The hesitance before he says crosshair… smthn smthn analysis time for me later

I love his wrapped armour

OH NO His eyes!!! He’s gotta be extra sensitive to that poor guy

WAIT NO

He just shot MAYDAY DIDNT HE

O H N O

Okay mayday looks okay… so maybe not…Thank GOD.

In my defense it looked like the person was wrapped up the way mayday was. So. Uh yeah. A few minutes of panick tee em there.

Oh no… oh the lines of helmets… god it kills me.

I am going to kill Nolan with my bare hands

OH MY GOD HE STOLE ARMOUR

oh fod he’s standing on a mine

There’s a lot of “oh gods” that I’m saying but it’s so true

“I could use the distraction” sir you’re disarming a mine. Please pay attention to that 😂

MAYDAY 😂 stop toying with crosshair Jesus

“They’re… gone.” They don’t HAVE to be baby you can just go HOME to them :’(

Maybe between Cody and Mayday… maybe…

literally the last ep of this season is called 99 right? So…

God I’m crossing my fingers… and my hairs haha pun that’s bad hehe ugh

SKDJRKS the sass between the two 😂

Oh boy the anksieties.

Crosshair gets a frien—

Oh my GOD WAIT.

No the All Quiet On The Western Front reference theh made…

MAYDAY IS GOING TO DIE ISNT HE…

F U C K

No mayday baby pls don’t go there no no no I don’t want you to die :(

(Soundtrack is scratching some itches in my brain tho)

God I’m so nervous :(

Okay he’s alive… maybe… maybe I’m wrong…

“We’re good soldiers. We followed orders.” Oh god I’m. My heart is breaking. He didn’t even have that order to follow and it was still activated for him anyway. How much did that change him? How much did he have to push through to be himself again?

Oh NOOO

Noooo mayday…

My heart is breaking I can’t do this oh my god

Hehe okay the arms did make me laugh through the tears hehe

Okay I have to pause for work purposes but just know I’m dying inside rn

RIP it did not save the rest of my reactions. I did come back and finish up but evidently what I wrote after all got deleted. Big frustrating ngl. i wanted to come back to this when the end of the season came to see how this compared to that.

But anyway. That ending cut me up so badly... my heart is aching my whole chest hurts. Crosshair... he is going through so much and now he has to go through more... they're going to make him hunt the rest of the bad batch again, aren't they? To get Omega to make Nala Se work again... PLEASE hasn't he suffered ENOUGH?! Why can't he be saved... why can't they save him... I can't do this. Please save him...

Good ep? I don’t know. My whole chest aches.

[space-blue]

okay first of all how does anyone bear to do asks i need to keep switching between two tabs trying to figure out what questions i'm trying to ask, there's got to be an easier way-- BUT right, Behind the Scenes asks: 1, 5, 12, 18 PLEASE, and 23. (PS am i supposed to ask so many? prob not. screw it, i'm greedy (PPS am i supposed to be anon rn idk if that's correct etiquette)) THANKS!

I jot the numbers down somewhere if I'm getting overwhelmed. You did great though! And no, there is no etiquette on how many to ask, don't worry. If there's a double I'll just send you to the other ask. More means I get to talk about fic more, which is great! :3

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Star Wars, Thrawn x OC. I was pretty sauced. I think I have some great moments in there, and I was free to create all the banter I wanted, etc. But it suffers a LOT from me being completely new to multi chapter work. I go into meandering tengeants and don't know when to stop on the world building. It had its fans and really dragged me into the whole fanfic universe though. Maybe one day I'll finish it, but I had no idea which way to go. I feel like I wrote myself in a corner, somewhat haha

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

I don't mind loud spaces like cafes or pubs, so long as the music isn't obnoxious and I can hear my own. I just like places where nobody is going to come to me to interrupt me. Sadly I live and work in a backpacker hostel, meaning I have 50 odd housemates at any given time, without counting the 250 guests. I get interrupted a LOT. So right now, hidden in my bed or hunkering down at my fav cafe, would be my answer.

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Yes! There's this Tarkin & Ahsoka fic I mentioned in this ask. It focuses on the amnesia trope. I really, really like to write sort of mind fucky things from character PoV. So Tarkin struggling with shattered memories and having to rebuild himself while trusting this total stranger… Hard. Especially when WE all know she's lying to him to try and use him for her side, because the rebellion just needs the help that badly. I do need to make better research on real amnesia before I apply scifi logic to it... And I need to not be hyperfixation on Quaritch's blue ass. His own trope scratches a similar itch, since he's a clone with implanted memories. So identity crisis as well...

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

OK ok I have this entry from my Hannibal ficlets that focuses on a secret inside the "mind palace" Hannibal Lecter has. I've read all three relevant Hannibal books, watched the films, all TV series… And then I read the book Piranesi by Susanna Clarke. It's excellent and I recommend it. It focuses on a man living inside an enormous house that has three levels going in all directions, with clouds in the top level and a sea with rushing tides in the bottom. There are statues everywhere… And birds… And it's very WTF and it takes you a long time to understand what's going on. It's in this man's pov too which thickens the mystery.

I love the works of Piranesi. He's an italian architect and archaelogist who once got sick. 22 yo and delirious with fever, he sketched a series of 'infinite prisons' which you can see here!

So I'm writing this tiny daily ficlet, trying to stick as close to 200 words as I can, and I was folding myself into a piranesian pretzel trying to FIT THE DAMN EXPRESSION in. Making Hannibal's mind palace into a piranesian thing.

There is a corner of his mind always plagued by snow. It is a torturous journey there, through labyrinthine passages, down echoing stairwells and across bridges arcing over the piranesian landscape of his palace. It is easy to lose one's way, to be distracted by the vaulted ceilings of a chapel, the confines of well used hideouts, or the familiar outlines of his Baltimore office. But if he keeps walking, fingers brushing against all the door-frames of all the halls of his mind, eventually they alight on damp wood, cold and brittle. 

[he's off to visit his baby sister, who he keeps in there. He was forced to eat her by soldiers as a child, yeah it's dark]

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

I'm not super hung up on this idea. I write and move on. I have 151 works currently and I've been on ao3 for not even 3 years. So as you can imagine I have a tendency to create a new work rather than worry about remixing.

This being said I'd probably completely retool my very first fic, as per answer 1. I'd change the OC, shorten the plot by A LOT, get the action started sooner, completely drop a lot of worldbuilding… It's a slog, which can be very sweet in a fanfic when you're enjoying the slog content, but dear lord, it makes for awkward re-reading. I'd make the OC an alien instead of a human raised by aliens. Too much going on.

[inkovert]

LOL I love that good job you fucked this up so badly that I have to go fix it myself mood 😂 Creating stories out of spite is so valid (I suppose that's how some fanfics come about isn't it?). I've had that same thought/urge many times but I haven't scratched the itch yet. I'm kind of curious what the book series is now 👀 But either way, I'm sure you will give the story the justice it deserves - can't wait to read the outcome :)

Oh tell me about it you are preaching to the choir right now. Editing a draft of a story is *incredibly* hard! I wanna argue that it's even harder than just writing the first draft itself. Like I got thousands of words down on the page, I created something from nothing - now you want me to go back and make it make sense??? Haven't I done enough?? And then it's like I have so many things I want to fix and I don't even know where to start bro, and fixing one thing might fuck up something else so maybe I shouldn't even touch it - it's a brutal and endless process (you've probably seen me complaining about this recently 😂). It truly is a huge job and very intimidating so I sympathize. One thing that helped me was to determine 1-2 things that I wanted to fix with this draft and ignore everything else so you don't end up running yourself ragged. It's hard. Incredibly hard. Because you start re-writing and you're like 'oh I know I said I was only going to make character X more consistent in this draft but...what if I also try to drop some foreshadowing in...and some symbolism? maybe find a way to sprinkle in some themes?' You really have to discipline yourself or you'll get overwhelmed. Anyway I am rambling but if you ever want some advice on how to go about editing (from my very very limited experience going through it rn) I'm happy to lend some coals of wisdom whenever you decide to tackle ATN. But don't feel pressure to start, I don't want you to overwhelm yourself even more D: You sound like you've got a lot on your plate. Focusing on just writing for fun and based on random inspiration also sounds like a good plan too!

Aww thank you for saying that 🥺 I pride myself on making strong characters so that means a lot <3 Putting all the parts of editing aside that make me wanna pull out my hair - I'm really loving the way this second draft is coming along. I feel like I'm falling in love with my story all over again and it just really solidifies how important these characters and this story is to me. I've changed quite a bit from the first draft, from character identities (Cami is practically a whole new character) to whole parts of the plot and it's just working so well. I could scream about so much, but I think I'm the most proud of how much stronger the characters feel in this draft. Even minor characters who I didn't wholly flesh out in the last draft feel more concrete in this one. I'm also living for Cami's characterization in this draft. She's just...so fucking cool? So driven, headstrong, so immersed in her interests (music, art) in a way that they make up such vital parts of her identity, like if you take those things away from her she will no longer be Cami. And she has such a strong sense of self too. Don't get me wrong she has a shit ton of issues to work through but at least at her core she knows who she is and what she wants. Ugh I could go on forever but yeah. I just love her. And all my characters. I feel like a proud mother watching them grow into fully-fledged people 😂

hi hi! How did you come up with the idea for __RISK IT? (I'm also not 100% sure I understand what it's about from the synopsis but it sounds intriguing so feel free to talk more about it generally). Also - no rush, no pressure just asking out of curiosity - when do you think you will pick ATN back up?

Hello!! *waves* Hope everything’s going well. ^_^

So, funny thing about ___RISK IT -- it came about purely out of spite. 😅 No but seriously, I read one book of this series and really liked it, and then I read the second book and was kinda disappointed, and then I read the third and was incensed. Just went in a direction that I really, really disliked. I guess it had sorta been telegraphed from the beginning but also I felt like the author kinda was writing based on reviews and it just... annoyed the crap out of me. So I was like, ‘well, if you dislike it that much, why don’t you write what you would’ve preferred to read?’ and then I took a few bits and pieces from other abandoned ideas and cobbled them together. :D I’m not entirely sure what will come of it, because I have this thing where I start a WIP and then want to throw absolutely everything into it and it becomes to complicated and then I abandon it (ooops), but there’s a loose plot for most of it and I do like what I have so far, so that’s something! ^_^

As for ATN -- first, thanks so much for asking about it, makes me grin like an idiot when people remember some of my stuff! ^_^ I’d planned to look at it over this uni break (the end of which is rapidly approaching D:) because I kinda think I need a decent whack of time to overhaul it into something that works. The pacing is all over the place and I’ve got some repetitive scenes where the characters are basically just having conversations (which, surprise surprise, is my favourite thing to write 🙄), so I wanna rejig a lot of that. There’s also the deletion of characters from the first half (which changes the pacing again) and the way I wanna incorporate some worldbuilding (without fucking up the pacing), so it... I guess it feels like it’s a huge job and I’m a little intimidated by it?

Honestly, though, I really should just start and see how I go. I haven’t even done a full reread of it yet, which really should be the first thing. I dunno. I have a vague idea of what I want to do this year (short version: with starting a double degree and the amount of work I have to do to live, I’m not sure how much time I’ll have, so I’m leaning towards just writing whatever the hell strikes me (one scene from a random idea, another for something else if it occurs to me; basically not focusing on any particular WIP, just getting words on the page for anything and everything) but in saying that an editing focus could also work. 🤔 So, essentially -- no solid plans for when at the moment, but it is definitely on my mind! :D

How are things going with you? Anything exciting with SCIF you’d like to yell about? I’m loving all the character interactions you’ve been posting, you’ve definitely got a talent for getting across a helluva lot of characterisation in very little time. :D

[the-lonelybarricade]

Loved your latest chapter and Im so excited to see what happens under the mountain!

I was wondering if I could request a one-shot?(up to you how long and you can do it in your own time)something along the lines of:

Feyre( from either ACOWAR, ACOFAS or ACOSF) time travels back to ACOTAR, but instead of finding herself back in her human body i the spring court, she's still in her fae body and ends up trapped in velaris, having to explain to the rest of IC who she is and why she cant go free their highlord(add some mistrust from the IC)

🙈🙈Id its very similar to what youre doing rn with your other fic but, if you find the inspiration sometime could you please do this? Ive wanted to read a fic for ages were feyre rime travels and meets pre-acomaf inner circle who dont know/trust her, but Ive never found a fic like that

Thank youuu

Hi lovely anon! It makes me so happy you enjoyed my latest chapter! I’m supposed to be working on a project for uni, but I couldn’t resist gratifying my lovely friends (because you're anon and won't be notified I was getting sad at the idea of you checking my blog and not seeing me respond) <3 I’ll admit I’m a bit scatterbrained at the moment, so I hope it’s okay!

I was having trouble brainstorming a reason for Feyre getting sent back in time because I didn't want to borrow the reasoning from ACoFD. So I was vague and twisted the pre-existing rules around the Ouroboros, and ended up getting quite carried away with the story since I don’t like not giving things a happy ending (even though it’s a little cheesy, sorry)

Anyway, I hope this is what you were looking for! I know you wanted the angst of not being able to save Rhys but... I couldn't just leave my poor bat-boy behind, you know? ;)

Also if this didn't quite scratch that itch, I'm always happy to take more requests

Word count: 4,446

The Ouroboros.

It was a massive, round disc—as tall as Feyre was. Taller. And the metal around it had been fashioned after a massive serpent, the mirror held within its coils as it devoured its own tail.

Ending and beginning.

From across the room, Feyre could not see it. What lay within.

She forced herself to take a step forward. Another.

The mirror itself was black as night—yet… wholly clear.

She watched herself approach. Watched the arm she had upraised against the wind and snow, the pinched expression on her face. The exhaustion.

She stopped three feet away. She did not dare touch it.

It only showed Feyre herself. Nothing.

Feyre scanned the mirror for any signs of… something to push or touch with her magic. But there was only the devouring head of the serpent, its maw open wide, frost sparkling on its fangs.

Feyre stared and stared, but all she saw was herself. There was nothing else. Then—

Feyre woke with a gasp, sitting up in bed to shake away the cobwebs of sleep and the strange, foreboding feeling that felt draped around her shoulders like a weighted cape, pulling her down. It hadn’t been a particularly horrifying nightmare. In fact, it was perhaps of the tamer dreams she’d had in the last year.

Yet something about it clung to her, perhaps a lingering agitation that she’d yet to retrieve the mirror the Bone Carver had requested. That must be it.

The bed space beside her was cold. The sun peaking through the window was not high, it couldn’t be long past dawn. However worrisome her own dream, her mate’s must have been worse to draw him from sleep so early. Worse still for him to sneak away.

Feyre rose from the bed, reaching absently for Rhysand’s dressing robe to wrap around herself. She always loved to steal her mate’s clothes, to be wrapped in his scent.

With gentle steps, she made her way to the study, where she could only assume Rhys had sequestered himself in the lone hours of the night. She’d noticed the weary draw to his shoulders, the dark circles under his eyes. This war was weighing on him heavily, and he was nervous. Feyre wished he didn’t insist on shouldering the burden alone.

“Rhys?” Feyre called softly as she got to the study, knocking on the door before she cracked it open.

Peeking her head around the door, she was met with the sight of Rhysand’s abandoned study. The scattered papers and war maps that had become characteristic of his desk space were surprisingly missing. In fact, the whole space had been cleared away and there was a thick layer of dust on every surface as if no one had been in here in years.

Feyre frowned at the sight, and how different it had been just the day before. Where had all the dust come from? And more importantly, where was Rhys? Perhaps he’d taken a morning flight to clear his head.

Where are you, love? She called to him through the mating bond, but was met with silence.

“Who are you?”

The voice was cold and venomous. Feyre turned, coming face to face with Mor, whose face was twisted into a threatening scowl.

“Mor?” Feyre asked, confused by her friend’s cold demeanor. “What do you mean? Have you seen Rhys?”

Mor’s face turned deadly, a look Feyre had only ever seen from Mor in the Court of Nightmares. “Is that some kind of joke?” she snarled.

Then, before Feyre could process what was happening, Mor had gripped onto Feyre’s wrist and they were enveloped in darkness. They stepped into the House of Wind, into the dining room where Cassian and Azriel abruptly stood up.

“Mor?” Feyre questioned when the blonde didn’t release her steel grip. She looked to Cassian and Azriel quizzically. “Guys? What’s going on?”

Cassian crossed his arms, assessing Feyre with a hostility that put her on edge. “Who’s this, Mor?” he asked gruffly.

Feyre frowned as she watched Azriel reach for Truth-Teller.

“Is this a joke?” she asked, flitting her eyes to each of her friends. Where she sought that friendly warmth in each of their gazes she was met with hard stares, filled with distrust, ready for a brawl. She couldn’t make sense of it. Was this an act Rhys had put them up to?

“I found her in the townhouse,” Mor said. “I don’t know how she got in there. She was in Rhysand’s study.”

“And she’s wearing his dressing gown,” Azriel noted dryly. Cassian did a double glance, his eyes going wide, then narrowing with a rage Feyre had never seen from the male. Certainly never directed at her.

There was a whisper of shadow, then suddenly Azriel was behind her, Truth-Teller poised at her throat.

Feyre startled. “Azriel!” she said sharply. Even if it was a joke, Feyre couldn’t imagine Rhysand would sanction this kind of threat. And the energy in the room was off, the tension too thick. “Stand down.”

“And who are you,” he breathed in her ear, his voice coated in shadow and nightmare, “to command the Shadowsinger of the Night Court?”

“I’m your High Lady,” Feyre answered steadily, not letting Azriel’s shadows, nor cunning voice, shake her resolve. “Now, I don’t know what is going on with the three of you, or what strange joke you’re trying to pull, but you will listen to what I say. Put. Your. Knife. Down.”

“High Lady?” Cassian repeated with a snort of disbelief. “You’ve got balls, little girl.”

Truth-Teller danced across the skin of her neck, pressing lightly enough to intimidate without breaking skin. “Do you even know to whom you speak? You should be bowing before the acting Queen of the Night Court.”

Too stunned to properly resist, Azriel kicked his feet out to knock Feyre to her knees in front of Mor. His fingers slid into her hair, gripping it tightly to pull her head back as Truth-Teller resumed its threatening position at her throat.

“Breaking into the High Lord’s personal residence, impersonating a high position within the Night Court, lying to the Morrigan’s face,” Azriel listed, increasing the pressure of the blade with each transgression. “You throw our High Lord’s generosity and protection in his face, something we as his acting Court do not take lightly.”

“Acting court? Acting Queen?” Feyre repeated, feeling as if she’d woken to a different reality. “What are you talking about? Where’s Rhysand!?”

“We’re the ones asking the questions here,” Cassian growled.

Feyre looked to each of her friends, studying their faces. Beyond their militant expression, she could see their grief. Could smell it. She repeated, “where is Rhysand?”

She felt the snarl that rumbled through Azriel’s chest behind her, vibrating against her back. When the question was once again unanswered, Feyre abandoned all sense of patience.

Darkness exploded through the room. She heard Mor gasp as the walls of the House shook from the might of her power. Feyre folded into the shadows, winnowing out of Azriel’s grasp so she stood in the center of the three of them.

“Az, Cass, Mor, you are my friends and I do not want to hurt you. But I am also your High Lady and you will answer me this instant, where is Rhys? Where is my mate!?”

Siphons gleamed red and blue through the thick tendrils of night, illuminating the Illyrian males’ faces. Cassian’s jaw had fallen open, while Azriel was studying her through narrowed eyes, wisps of shadow surrounding him. Feyre wondered what they were whispering to him.

“Mate?” Cassian echoed, the first to break the heavy silence.

Mor took a cautious step forward, her countenance completely changed. Her pupils were blown wide, twin brown depths churning with sorrow and gentle astonishment. Azriel went rigid at Mor’s approach, but no one moved to stop her as she came face to face with Feyre.

“Where did you get this?” she whispered, taking Feyre’s left hand, eye fixed on her mating band. On the sapphire-star ring that once belonged to Rhysand’s mother.

All eyes befell the subject of Mor’s attention. Cassian swore softly in recognition.

“It’s my mating band,” Feyre answered measuredly, still puzzled that the inner circle, her family, didn’t seem to have any memory of it. Nor of her. “I won it from the Weaver, as was the task set by Rhysand’s mother. But you were all there for that. I don’t understand what’s going on. Where. Is. Rhys?”

“Under the Mountain,” Mor whispered, her voice soft and pained.

The darkness ebbed away like a receding tide. Feyre felt her heart sink as she tried to process this information. “He—What?”

“He’s been Under the Mountain for the last 50 years,” Mor said, firmer this time. “And if you were his so-called mate, you would know that.”

“No,” Feyre said, shaking her head vehemently. “No, that’s impossible. We got out. We—”

This was a nightmare. It had to be a nightmare, and she just hadn’t woken up from it.

“Amarantha’s dead,” Feyre insisted, mostly in an attempt to console the unparalleled grief and panic that were raging inside her. “She’s dead, and Rhys and I got out.”

The grim faces of her friends said otherwise. They stared at her, in unbearable mixtures of pity and horror.

“I think she’s having a mental break,” Cassian said, not unkindly. “Should we get a healer?”

“Let me show you,” Feyre said meekly, casting her magic out to tap on their mental shields.

They all tensed, clearly not aware they’d been in the presence of a daemati. Trained well by Rhys, they all cracked their shields just enough for Feyre to send her conjured memories through. She showed them going Under the Mountain as a human, winning the trials and being resurrected, falling in love with Rhys, and eventually becoming High Lady of the Night Court. In turn, the three of them pushed back their own memories, of the current state of the world. Of Rhysand sacrificing himself so that his Court and Velaris would be safe.

A sob broke out of Feyre. “How is this possible? How am I here?”

It was Azriel who immediately went for the jugular. “More importantly, if you’re here as a High Fae, how is Rhys going to get out? How do we stop Amarantha?”

Feyre fell to her knees, grief-stricken by this realization. She was no longer human. She couldn’t stride in as Tamlin’s human lover and undergo the trials. Feyre had her powers, but they were untested. Would she be able to take on the whole of Amarantha’s court?

“What do I do? How do I save him?” she whimpered, staring in mute horror at her mating band.

Mor tentatively reached forward, laying a comforting hand on Feyre’s shoulder. “Rhys sacrificed himself to keep the people he loves safe. He wouldn’t want you getting yourself killed trying to save him.”

“I have to try,” Feyre answered desperately. “Amarantha she’s…” Feyre couldn’t bring herself to say the word, rape. Not to his family, who wear his sacrifice for them like an open wound. “She’s doing unspeakable things to him. He’s suffering so much. I can’t leave him to that fate. I have to try.”

With renewed conviction, Feyre accepted Mor’s outstretched hand and picked herself to her feet. “Rhys said it himself once. Amarantha’s biggest weapon is that she keeps the High Lord’s power contained. She can’t access them herself. But I… I have access to all the High Lords’ powers. And that bitch has my mate. My wrath will be plenty to take her down.” She faced her friends, who watched her warily. “You have my word as your High Lady,” she swore to them. “The High Queen of Prythian is going to fall by the night’s end.”

⟡⟡⟡

Winter had not yet fallen in the Mortal Lands. Feyre wondered if across the world, there was a version of herself curled in a bed with her sisters, clinging to any shred of warmth and survival.

That version of Feyre was very different from the version who strode up the sloping hills of the Spring Court with Azriel by her side. Rhys would be furious that Feyre had allowed him to accompany her. Should anything go wrong, it would destroy her mate to know his family had been put in harm's way after everything he’d done to protect them. Which was why it was only Azriel who came with, the only compromise she could reach with his Inner Circle, who insisted on coming with.

Who better to sneak into the Mountain with than the very soldier who taught Feyre the art of stealth. He was the obvious choice, since Mor needed to stay to rule the Night Court and Cassian was too heavy-handed to handle such a delicate task.

Their footfall was silent. Feyre wrapped them in the shadow of Night as they winnowed through the cave network. Her heart hammered in her chest, panicked to be back in the source of so many nightmares.

But Rhysand was more important than her fear. For him, she would not falter.

With the Shadowsinger by her side, Feyre snuck through the winding tunnels until she came to a familiar passageway. They slid into a massive, dark bedroom, lit only by a few candles.

To attack Amarantha in the throne room would be too messy. Too many variables to contend with, should Amarantha have enough wit about her to use any faeries as a shield. Especially Rhysand.

After several hours of waiting, the lock on the door clicked and swung open. Darkness swirled around the room as Rhysand took in the sight of Feyre and Azriel on the bed.

Immediately, the door slammed shut.

“No,” he whispered, voice dripping with horror. “No.”

“Rhys—” Feyre started, but her mate wasn’t paying any attention to her. He was looking at Azriel as if his whole world had shattered.

“Leave,” he said, his voice cold and commanding. This was no happy reunion between brothers. This was Rhysand’s worst nightmare. “Leave this instant, you stupid fool. That is, if you’re lucky enough to have avoided detection when you passed under her wards.”

“I took down the wards,” Feyre said. They weren’t particularly strong, either. Amarantha had gotten lazy, perhaps thinking herself secure with the only spell-cleaver under her control. Or so she believed.

Rhys turned that quiet fury towards her. “And who are you?”

“Your mate,” Feyre answered steadily, tipping her chin up.

Rhysand laughed. A desperate, humorless sound. “Then you are just as foolish as my idiot brother. And you have both sealed your deaths by being here. Do you understand that?”

Feyre scratched along those familiar adamantite shields. Rhys’s eyes flickered in surprise, but otherwise he looked unruffled as he cracked a sliver open for her.

It would be unwise to underestimate me, mate.

I wouldn’t be going around boasting about such a thing, if what you claim is even true, came his icy response. And I wouldn’t count on a few party tricks to save you, either.

And what if I told you, she purred, that I possess the power of all seven High Lords?

That, at least, garnered a reaction from the stoic male. He narrowed his eyes in disbelief, studying Feyre carefully. His gaze caught on her hands, at the lace tattoos that flowed to her fingers. And the mating band she still wore.

Feyre watched those violet eyes go wide, the silver constellations dancing in astonishment at the sight of his mother’s ring.

Where did you get that?

It’s a long story, love, but you’re going to have to trust me. She lowered her mental shields completely. Have a look for yourself. I’m telling you no lies. I am your High Lady, and I am here to free my husband.

She felt those familiar talons wrap around her mind. A foolish thing to do, to give a daemati unrestricted access to her mind. And if it were anyone but Rhys, it would have been. But his touch was gentle, and he took only the information he needed.

“I don’t understand how this is possible,” he whispered, breaking the silence of the room. Azriel had been waiting patiently, but looked relieved to be included in the conversation once more. “And I hate that you’ve put yourselves in danger for this, but it could work.”

Rhys considered for a long moment, then he looked between Feyre and Azriel and said, “do it when she’s sleeping. That bitch has been playing dirty for 50 years, you might as well level the playing field to give yourselves the best chance. Let’s do it tonight. I’ll leave the door unlocked, wear her out, and signal you once she’s asleep. Her spell prevents me from harming her, but I’ll make sure she’s restrained. All you have to do is drive the ash dagger through her heart, but have your magic ready for damage control.”

⟡⟡⟡

Feyre and Azriel waited in Rhysand’s bedchambers for his signal. There was a revelry tonight, as there was every night Under the Mountain, and Rhys was expected to be in attendance. Afterwards, he’d join Amarantha in her bed and make sure she was, in his words, “thoroughly exhausted”.

It was torturous for Feyre. To know exactly what the implication in those words were, to have to use her mate’s body in such a way. She wanted to roar at the Mountain, at the Cauldron, at anything that would listen, but instead she was next to the quiet, brooding Shadowsinger, and lamented in silence.

She’d begged Rhys to reconsider, to perhaps help them stage a more physical encounter that didn’t rely on his own suffering. But he’d denied any plan but the one he’d proposed, insisting it would cause him more anguish to but Feyre and Azriel in harm's way.

So they waited the long, agonizing hours until she felt a delicate pull at her chest. She’s asleep, Rhys called. Be on your guard.

He sent her directions to Amarantha’s bedchambers. There were guards outside, but Feyre and Azriel winnowed past them, cloaked in night and shadow.

Amarantha’s bedchambers were huge. Feyre had never been inside them before, but she was unsurprised to see they provided any luxury a High Queen could wish for.

Atop a large bed of red, silken sheets, lay her mate and Amarantha, both stark naked. The smell of sex clung to the air, Rhysand and Amarantha’s scents intertwined. Feyre thought she might be sick.

Even more sickening was the sight before her, of Amarantha’s arms restrained to the headboard in cloth. A clever way for Rhys to restrain her under the guise of sex, but horrifying nonetheless, to see the proof of what they’d been up to. The female was fast asleep, so convinced of her authority that she could fall asleep tied-up and not feel vulnerable doing so. How satisfying, Feyre thought, that such arrogance would be her downfall.

Feyre warded the room, putting up a shield of darkness so that no sound would break through to alert the guards. Rhys watched their approach warily from where he perched beside Amarantha, so still Feyre was convinced he held his breath.

He wouldn’t risk moving to wake her up, which terrified Feyre. Should something go wrong, her mate would be susceptible to Amarantha’s wrath. Naked, vulnerable, and completely under her control. It was such a dangerous game they were playing.

The room was as quiet and still as the bewitching hours of the night, their footsteps silent as they picked across the room. Azriel held the ash dagger. If Rhys could not kill Amarantha, his brother wanted to do it on his behalf. Meanwhile, Feyre summoned tendrils of night that carefully wrapped around Amarantha’s legs, slithering up her body like a snake, ready to constrict and restrain.

The female stirred in her sleep, perhaps feeling the ghostlike touch of Feyre’s magic. But she did not wake. Not as Azriel raised the dagger over her chest, and not as he plunged it down.

Amarantha’s eyes shot open as the dagger pierced her chest. She let out a shriek of agony and ire, moving to claw at her attacker. She raged against the restraints, spewing obscenities until they died at her lips as the blade sunk into her heart.

Rhysand’s chest was heaving as he watched the female still, then slump. He looked from her dead body, to Azriel and Feyre.

Feyre’s heart sank as she watched her mate process that it was truly over. There wasn’t a trace of elation in his eyes at being liberated, but she understood why. Rhys would finally be returning home, but as a much different man than the one he had been. He’d survived, but not unscathed, and he’d need time to process this.

Feyre came to him, reached towards her mate with the hand that bore his mother’s ring. Rhys looked to it, then up to her. His eyes were clouded with sorrow, with a melancholy she could only hope to chip away at in time. But she could see stirring beneath it was a breath of hope, perhaps the first he’d allowed himself in a long time.

“Let’s go home, Rhys,” she said gently.

Slowly, Rhysand nodded, moving to grasp her hand. She felt him jolt at the touch and, as she glanced at him questioningly, she saw his lips part in wonder.

I suppose you weren’t lying about being my mate, he whispered, the words a sensual brush in her mind. Thank you for coming to rescue me, High Lady.

Feyre grasped onto Azriel, and together the three of them stepped into darkness.

Then, they were above the House of Wind, tumbling through the night sky. Feyre unfurled her wings before Rhys could move to catch them, worried that her mate would struggle after 50 years without flight.

Both males stared in astonishment at the sight. Rhysand’s eyes danced in awe as Feyre, albeit clumsily, carried them to the training ring on the roof.

Rhys snapped his own wings open as they landed. Feyre watched him tilt his head back in rapture as he felt the wind against his wings for the first time in decades. Then he opened his eyes, his expression shifting to reverence as he beheld the night sky.

“I was beginning to think I’d never see it again,” he whispered, his voice a heartbreaking blend of exaltation and disbelief. “And for this gift… for my salvation to be courtesy of my mate and of my brother… I’m a bit overwhelmed,” he admitted sheepishly.

Feyre hesitated. If this was the Rhysand from before, the one to which she was mated and married, she would come to comfort him. But this version of Rhys had only just been freed from enslavement, and she didn’t know what he needed.

As though sensing her hesitation, Rhys cast his eyes back to the sky. “I know they’re all waiting for me downstairs, but I’d like a little bit of time with the stars. Will you let them know, Az?”

Azriel nodded, though he seemed conflicted. His reunion with his brother was perhaps not as merry as the male had expected. But right now, she knew the Inner Circle would hardly deny Rhys anything. Perhaps for a long while yet. So Azriel headed downstairs to inform their friends, who were sure to be anxiously awaiting their arrival.

Rhysand regarded Feyre carefully once the two of them were alone. “Mate and High Lady,” he mused. “You seem to wear many hats.”

“You forgot ‘wife’,” Feyre said lightly.

“Yes, and ‘Salvation’, ‘Queen Killer’, ‘Most Beautiful Female in Prythian’, it seems there’s many things I could call you. Could we start with your name, perchance?”

Feyre was shocked. She’d assumed he’d taken such information out of her mind earlier, but it seems he’d been even more respectful than she’d expected.

“Feyre,” she answered. “My name is Feyre.”

He looked wonderstruck. “Feyre,” he repeated, testing the name on his lips. A gentle smile curled at the corners of his mouth, the first she’d seen from him yet. He extended his hand towards her. “Would you like to watch the stars with me, Feyre?”

It was an offer she couldn’t refuse. Her hand found his with all the casual grace of a dancer, as if it were a routine they’d been perfecting their whole lives. Their fingers interlocked and as one, they stared up at the dazzling night sky.

This reality wasn’t perfect, Feyre thought. This Rhys was different from her own, and he still had a lot of healing to do. But if she could be there for him, to help him in a ways she hadn’t before, then she would be grateful to the strange eddies of the Cauldron for bringing her here. For allowing her to end his torment early. For giving them this extra time.

She watched a shooting star dart across the sky and smiled as it passed. There was nothing she could wish for except that her mate find peace in all that he’d endured the last half century.

His deep, velvety voice cut through the silence. “Do you often wish on stars, Feyre?”

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He was watching her with a heart-wrenching wistfulness.

“Only when I have a wish worthy of the stars.”

“And do you?”

Feyre looked to the northernmost star, which shined brightest in the sky. “I wished for a light in the darkness,” she told him. “I don’t think the stars would ever begrudge such a wish.”

Rhysand nodded solemnly. “It’s true that they would be begrudging themselves in doing so. But I see no need for you to wish for such a thing.”

Feyre looked to him. He was still watching her, but something in him had shifted. He was smiling at her gently, that lingering sadness already receding. “Why’s that?” she asked cautiously.

That gentle smile widened, showing off his brilliant teeth. “Why, Feyre, to find such a thing, all you’d need to do is look in a mirror.”

[steve-keychain]

I finally got around to binging your wwdits fic, and - holy shit man - it's incredible. I enjoyed every sentence; I loved the repeating motifs and symbols and the fucked up pseudo-religious dreams that Guillermo had. I always enjoy canon for what it is, but I often feel the comedy takes away some of the real heartbreak the characters have experienced. If wwdits was going for a more serious framing, THIS kind of fic hits the nail on the head. Rewriting the master/servant dynamic into something new - something not based on a doomed transaction - freshened the whole thing up for me, though I appreciate that you still kept them Weird. Really scratches the itch of adoration borderlining into horror. 10/10 would read again

oH MY GOD CERTIFIED ICONIC ASK- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STOPPING BY TO SAY ALL THIS???? omg let me try to become Normal and have Normal thoughts (this is a long response but. you left good thoughts so im piling more thoughts onto this bus)

I am so happy you've enjoyed the Wonderful Weird World of Violet Hill, it means so very much that you read through it and saw exactly what I'm trying to put out there, message/theme wise. I wondered literally that- 'what would shadows be if it wasnt as much of a comedy' and this is where my brain took me lmaO. I worked really really hard to try and Fit their characterizations to this new world, and it's really just lovely to hear that they're hitting their marks within the context of VH!

And yeah god, I just adore the idea of like. Guillermo's Catholicism acting as a ghost almost? I wanted it to Creep its way into the story, and it's going bonkers bananas in there rn a;lsdkjfl; Beyond his whole deal too, Nandor is inherently also haunted- so putting them together in this dynamic Shakes them up, because they can talk about it as equals!! Here are two characters profoundly disturbed/unable to escape their pasts. What if they had freaky dreams about it. Roll the tape a;lsdkfjsa

And exactly like you said, all of them underneath their facades- are deeply troubled. I really wanted to sit down and like. Unpack as much of that as I could, and I wanted to do it in a world that left them free from their existing dynamics-this is obvious with nandermo just being two Dudes, but I really wanted Nadja and Laszlo to feel comfy with openly loving Guillermo. He's their Stu. I wanted a world where, for once, Guillermo was universally adored, and herE WE ARE

Shadows has some of the most interesting and unique characters I've seen in media in a long fucking time, so it would have been such a disservice to them all if I didn't keep them all (mostly) stupid/silly as fuck alfkdlksdjfa. So I am happy you found this fic, my dear mutual, and are loving it for all its horrific, strange, (and romantic oh god hitting myself over the head with a pan how did i write so much vampire pining already) new vibes!!! I'm holding this ask dear to my heart, thank you so very much for letting me know you enjoyed ;___; <3 <3 <3 <3

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[himbos-hotline]

Sending follow-ups from my hyper fixation question!

What first got you into wrestling?

What about wrestling scratches that itch in your brain?

What's the fic you're working on?

Who are your favorite wrestlers and why?

What's that one thought/idea (or several) that you keep repeating in your head that other people just HAVE to know about?

Hope you're having a good day! :)

hyperfixation questions go brrrrr yes talk to me about the punchy wrestle mens!!!

What first got you into wrestling?

-> my greatgrandpa when I was four started to show me wrestling, turning over my great uncles shows so we could watch together. He’d show me ECW and other more graphic things which intrested me and than wrestling from the 90s and from there I looked into WWE [this was like 2005/2006] and since than ive watched an entire bunch of different promotions and gone to see local wrestling. The last time my nan and I went though was long before the pandemic. BUT it is coming back and we are gonna go see it again and again!!! and I am so existed about it cuz its so magical to see live. ALSO if I get tickets and save up, WWE is coming to the UK soon and I have always wanted to see WWE live since I was a little boy. 

What about wrestling scratches that itch in your brain?

-> I am not sure what exactly itches my brain right. But I think its the humanity that makes me feel so warm and giggly. Like seeing people who in any other circle wouldnt have met are sitting and cheering next to each other and making sounds. People make friends and maybe lovers from the crowds. Children see themselves reflected in the wrestlers and its nice to see how their eyes light up. Also the bright lights and theme songs get me. theres been some stories that bring me so much joy. the storytelling for SOME things is okay. Also pretty women and men who could step on me and gladly i would say thank you. 

What's the fic you're working on?

-> Okay so there is a few that im currently working on

1. a sequeal to Fairytails don’t exist where maybe maddie and finn pull their heads outta their asses and start fuckin pining because jesus christ its gonna be annoying to everyone else. Also I hurt sami too much in this fic but the madelyn and sami friendship brings me such joy! 

2. a small currently four chapter fic set in 2016 NXT which started out as me focusing on how maddie would have delt with her two best friends fighting but its now expanded into whats gonna end up being a zowens fic. its not named yet but yknow. im tying.

3. cafe’s are made for cliche’s [a place to fall in love] a coffeeshop au set in a little seaside town that im yet to name. maddie and finn are gonna be the main ship and i cannot wait to write it more than whats a little plan.

ive been planning it alongside @stay-safe-pixieboots and @dickardgansey on discord, so yknow. HUGE shoutout to them because holy shit id be stuck rn with it

4. hold on [one more time with feeling] is my roommate au cuz ive started to focus more on maddie when she was a teenager. plus thats also gonna end up as zowens.

if yall want me to write any wrestling ship things, i have a buncha prompts somewhere on my blog under the tag: mouses writing prompts or if you wanna use prompts that ive made up its: prince produces prompts

Who are your favorite wrestlers and why?

I have too many to count, maybe one day soon I will make a list of my top ten wrestlers. 

What's that one thought/idea (or several) that you keep repeating in your head that other people just HAVE to know about?

rn, I am no think head empty.

send me asks so I can feel things again

[spooky-activity]

Just a little update on Cassandratopia 2: Electric Boogaloo (Or as it stands in my Google Docs folder rn, A Helping Hand). I’ll put it under the cut cuz it’s kinda long. 

I just wanted to say that I’m still planning on actually doing it, despite all evidence to the contrary lol 

I did Cassandratopia in a haze of graduating from college(where I was studying animation) and just having ended my first dnd campaign as a dungeon master (which went 3 years!). I was fishing around for internships, but since the pandemic had just kicked off I wasn’t having much luck. So I had a lot of creative energy that wasn’t getting channeled anywhere, and a lot of free time when I wasn’t applying to places. Which is how I did 4 pages a day several times per week. Which was insane. 

As it stands, I’m running 2 dnd campaigns(one meets weekly, the other every other week or so), and just scored a full-time internship at a video game company! The campaigns I’m running are a homebrew open world, which, for those of you who aren’t too familiar with dnd, is a metric fuckton of work to prep for each session because I have no idea what my insane friends and siblings are going to try and do every time we play. 

Anyways all this to say that my storytelling itch is kinda. Sufficiently getting scratched atm and I have a lot less free time. I’m still plucking away at the setting/refining the story of A Helping Hand, but it’s largely on the backburner. Cassandratopia was also, uh, like the first story I’ve ever told in any sort of format besides the give-and-take of dnd, so... I’m not used to having so much control over the narrative. Oddly. I’ve never thought of myself as much of a writer of stories; my main focus is character animation, so someone else is usually writing the stories I’m telling anyways, which is super cool with me. Honestly I’m surprising myself with how much I want to tell this story, which is why I’m still sure I’m doing it. Just. Slower. Than Cassandratopia got done. 

But I’ll share a bit of the lore I’ve been cooking up! Specifically about Zhan Tiri and The Drops. The story will be told in an extremely dnd type setting, because that’s the kind of narrative I’ve told before and am comfortable telling: hard magic rules, neat fights, scary monsters, a dash of eldritch horror, and huge emphasis being put on magical artifacts(kinda like in the show!). Here’s some stuff that’s basically locked-in. 

Zhan Tiri

Zhan Tiri is one of the many Demon Lords of the Abyss. She’s kind of a mashup of two of my favorite Demon Lords, Zuggtmoy, the Lady of Rot and Decay, and Pale Night, the Mother of Demons and Queen of the Night(with just a dash of Hannibal Lecter because who doesn’t like helpful, polite, manipulative-ass bitches lksjflkja;fj). Her domain sits almost exactly between the Sundrop and Moonstone, largely being the new growth that comes from death, and the endless cycle of life and death. Places where her influence is strongest includes the cracks in... Well anywhere really, from society to the planet’s shell, where metaphorical or physical rot could grow; musty, mostly ignored places where something could fester. Iconography related to her would include endless mazes, fungi, grasping skeletal hands, and rotting/blooming corpses. Her spores can animate corpses, which she likes to use as mindless minions when she doesn’t feel like sending one of her Acolytes. She shares a scrap of her power with those few mortals she likes. She appreciates ambition and the desire to Grow to be bigger than what you were to start with, as those are qualities she herself possesses. 

Incredibly intelligent and merciless to those she deems her enemies, her main thing is pulling the strings from the shadows and seeing just how far she can push people to act with as little prompting from her as possible. She does, however, have the power to kinda bulldoze her way through things if she needs to, but she doesn’t like to because where’s the fun in that? 

She first gained interest in the Material Plane when a Wizard with too much hubris from said Material Plane(Named Demanitus) contacted her trying to figure out more information about The Drops and how to control them. After indulging him for a bit, she started preparing to make a summer home on the Material Plane because it’s New and Fun here and Wow These Mortals are Really Fun to Mess With! And some of them she even genuinely liked! Demanitus then realized his mistake and locked her away in Pandemonium for what he hoped was forever, but turned out to be only around 1,000 years, due to the efforts of her followers. Her little stint in Pandemonium magnified the more... Chaotic aspects of her personality, so now she wants to cover the Material Plane in blooming mazes of fungal crops that she can break people with at her leisure. 

The Drops

The drops are two semi-sentient pieces of one original artifact, whose original purpose was to be a tool of creation for the gods. Which, through some great calamity(still deciding that one), got sundered and settled into the two basic aspects of creation: the nearly unlimited well of life-energy which organizes stardust into planets, cabbages, and kings, and the “you gotta crack a few eggs to get an omlette” destructive force which breaks down what the sundrop makes so that it can make more. 

The main goal of the drops is to reunite. I would want to as well if I was ripped in half! This manifests as a... General tug in the direction of the other drop. A desire in the host to Go That Way. It can be resisted, and even ignored for a bit, but it’s always there. Like being hungry if starving wasn’t a danger. Just a bit uncomfortable if you aren’t going That Way, but ignorable. 

Both drops generally try to be as helpful to their wielder as possible, as originally they were a tool of creation to the gods. They are innately obliging. They’re also REALLY UNSAFE FOR MORTALS TO BE MESSING WITH. The Sundrop is a little safer because the most it can do is kinda. Overcharge you into something distinctly not human but still alive, and King Fredrick was lucky he made the Sundrop into soup before giving it to Arianna. But King Edmund got his wholeass arm blasted off for touching the Moonstone. 

The Sundrop

Best I could whittle it down, the Sundrop has power over life energy, like the sun’s light. It also has power over the energy derived from geothermal activities, so deep sea creatures Are Not Immune To The Sundrop, which was a funny thought that crossed my mind that they could be, but that will likely never come up anyways salkdjf;ljsf It is, in its basest form, Growth and Progress. 

It’s a little sentient, but very much entrenches itself into whoever is holding it at the time. Like another mind looking through your eyes and seeing what you see/feeling what you feel while still retaining a bit of individuality from the host. It’s not... Parasitic because it’s in its nature to give, but it’s generally pretty firmly attached to whoever is holding it until they die( which isn’t usually for a WHILE. It ’infects’ a new host when one dies, usually a plant near their grave...) or until a solar eclipse. It wants what they want, but it’s very fussy so they have to ask it for power exactly correctly(like singing an incantation every time you want to heal someone, or doing a Ritual involving lots of very specific ingredients, Celestial Alignments, and Secret Words) or it won’t listen, like an orchid dying if the ph balance is off in the soil by a little bit. But it’s generally pretty intuitive to use, because it wants what you want and (as long as you ask right) is willing to help. 

Anyways basically under the influence of the Sundrop you get a few things: 

Basically limitless energy coursing through your body while you’re in a place with sunlight, which equates to rapid healing, mostly, because every cell in your body is being supercharged with free energy. Never getting exhausted in direct sunlight. (If Rapunzel lived in a place that was sunny 24/7 like near one of the poles she wouldn’t have to sleep like. until it started to get dark in the opposite half of the year. Then she’d have to sleep like a regular human being)

You stay at your prime, or if you are past it, revert to your prime. Someone who is holding the Sundrop, or who has regular access to the Sundrop’s magic can’t die of old age or illness. They have to be hurt beyond the Sundrop’s ability to heal or have it taken away from them. 

The ability to share this rapid healing with others (if you ask right)

The ability to freely draw on the raw, near-limitless energy of the sun to shape into things like cool-looking energy blasts (only if you ask right) 

The Moonstone

The moonstone has powers over varying levels of destruction: from destroying things by ripping them apart/ to Not Letting Things Be Destroyed(also known as protecting) by freezing them in indestructible rock. Like the moon, it can ‘reflect’ a bit of the sundrop’s power, so it can kinda provide energy, albeit a lot less than the sundrop can provide. It’s the inevitable march of The End of All Things, fertilizing the fields of time with the ashes of the old so the new can take root. 

The Moonstone is a bit more in the dark(pun intended hehe) when it comes to bonding with someone, it can only try to figure out what is going on based off the emotions of its wielder, and through anything directly touching the Black Rocks. Because of this it’s... Kinda dumb? It tries to do things to help(Like shooting red fear-rocks to try and scare away whatever must be scaring its wielder so badly) but often fails spectacularly at helping. 

Under the influence of the Moonstone you get: 

Mortals get Neat Body Armor that’s actually just you being turned into a rock! They are very fragile! They need to be protected! The best the Moonstone can do to try and preserve you is to Stop All Destruction by.. Pausing all bodily functions indefinitely. Rocks don’t need to eat, sleep, or breathe, and almost nothing can destroy you if you’re solid Black Rock. The weak reflection of the Sundrop’s energy keeps the host animated, but they’re not exactly alive anymore. Like cryostasis. Wounds (if any) acquired in this state won’t be a problem because they’re not messing anything up, because nothing is technically working in the first place, but they will be a problem when you’re not protected in this way anymore. It’s a cosmic ‘I’ll deal with that later’ button, essentially. 

Like the moon, the Moonstone can reflect the light of the sun. It uses its rock crystals to do so, which can even split the sun’s power into different shades, like a prism. Essentially, different colored rocks can mean new and exciting power sets. 

Blue Lightning! The Moonstone can reflect the Sundrop’s power, so it also has access to pure bursts of energy, even if it is weaker and colder. 

The Moonstone is very helpful, but usually has no idea what you want. ‘Asking’ the Moonstone for more control over its power in the same way you would Ask the Sundrop for more power reminds it of the perfect bond it used to share. The Moonstone’s incantation deepens the bond between wielder and Moonstone in such a way that it actually knows what you want from it, giving you near perfect control of its powers.

*This is kind of just a side note of the Drops: While the Moonstone is weaker than the Sundrop in an head-on fight, it could hold its own if it were on the defensive. Redirecting the power instead of trying to overpower and such.

** Cass made of rocks means I get to draw her skeleton :) not in every picture that would be fucking nuts and way too much work alskjdf;lkjs;fv

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA