#it's kind of funny they're like...nesting

[bereft-of-frogs]

it's cool to do....*counts*...3 takes on the same concept right?

[areyoufuckingcrazy]

Tech x Mechanic Reader

Summary: After the war, you reprogrammed a troop of abandoned B1 battle droids to serve with kindness—not violence. When Clone Force 99 shows up for a supply run, Tech questions your methods, and you challenge his logic.

You found them half-dead in the sand. Twenty B1 battle droids, dumped in a sun-scorched wreck outside the outpost, like bones picked clean by time and war. Most folks would've scavenged the parts, maybe sold off a few limbs if the servos were still functional.

But you? You were a little lonely, a little dangerous, and very, *very* good with code.

Rewiring them took weeks. You erased what the Separatists left behind, built your own parameters from scratch, and gave them something they'd never had before: choice.

You taught them to wave. To carry groceries. To call you "Friend" instead of "Master."

And when people flinched at the sight of battle droids strolling through town, you dipped your brush in paint. Mint green, lavender, sunflower yellow. You gave them smiley faces, heart decals, flower crowns made from leftover wire. You made them soft. Funny. Endearing.

They were still capable of violence—so were you—but they only used it when you gave the order.

Which wasn't often.

---

Clone Force 99 didn't arrive with blasters drawn, but the tension clung to them like dust. The mission was simple: a supply pickup for Cid. In and out. But this planet made Wrecker's nose wrinkle, and Echo kept his blaster low and ready.

Hunter spotted the droid first—lavender chassis, daisies painted across its plating, an old satchel slung over one shoulder as it meandered through the marketplace humming something vaguely cheerful.

"Is that... a B1?" Echo asked, narrowing his eyes.

"It appears to be carrying coolant," Tech said, scanning with his datapad. "And whistling."

Wrecker let out a low chuckle. "Guess the war *really* is over."

"Something's off," Hunter murmured. "Let's follow it."

They kept their distance as the droid turned off the main strip and waddled down a side alley, past a half-crumbling sign that read *THE FIXER'S NEST* in flickering neon.

The shop was a bunker of welded panels and salvaged Separatist tech. Outside, another B1—bright pink with a lopsided sun painted on its chest—was sweeping the doorstep and chatting to a GNK droid.

"Friend says no sand in the workshop," it explained, very seriously. "Sand gets in the gears. Sand *hurts feelings*."

The Bad Batch exchanged a look.

Hunter stepped forward and tapped twice on the doorframe.

You didn't even look up from where you were elbow-deep in a deconstructed astromech.

"You're late," you said, voice calm. "Tell Cid her coolant's in the crate by the wall. So's the power cells, bolts, and the weird candy she likes."

There was a pause.

"We didn't say we were here for Cid," Echo said slowly.

Now you looked up—smirk sharp, eyes sharper.

"Didn't have to. You've got that *'we work for someone mean, grumpy and morally grey'* vibe. Plus, you match the order details she sent me yesterday."

Wrecker moved to the crate and peeked inside. "Yep. All here."

"Of course it is," you muttered. "I run a business, not a guessing game."

Tech, meanwhile, was still staring at the droids—two were dusting the shelves with actual feather dusters, and another had just handed you a datapad while humming.

"These are B1 units," he said, voice laced with something between awe and concern. "Fully functional. Active. Painted."

You stood, wiping your hands on a rag. "I call that one Sprinkles."

"They're dangerous," he said immediately. "You realize they could revert to their original programming at any time—"

"Not mine," you cut in. "I rewrote them myself. Erased every combat subroutine. They're coded to help, protect, and be as non-threatening as a bowl of soup."

Tech stepped forward, clearly bristling. "Their hardware alone makes them capable of violence. You cannot override thousands of lines of military protocol with flower decals and whimsy."

"No," you said coolly, "but I can override them with skill, precision, and an understanding of droid psychology that clearly surpasses yours."

Hunter winced. Echo muttered something under his breath. Wrecker made the universal *oooooh, burn* face.

Tech, however, pushed up his goggles like you'd challenged him to a duel. "I would very much like to inspect your code."

You arched a brow. "What, no dinner first?"

His mouth opened. Closed. Opened again.

You grinned. "Don't worry, Professor. I'll even let you use the comfy chair."

Sprinkles chirped and handed Tech a cup of caf with perfect comedic timing.

"Welcome, new Friend!" it said cheerfully.

Tech took the cup automatically, staring down at it like it might explode.

You leaned on the counter and gave him a slow once-over. "You gonna tell me how unsafe I am again, or are you here to learn something?"

He met your gaze, thoughtful now. Curious. "...Both."

You smiled, victorious.

---

Tech hadn't stopped talking for fifteen minutes straight.

Not that you minded. His cadence was quick, his mind quicker, and his goggles fogged slightly whenever he got excited. Which, it turned out, was often—especially when discussing battle droid memory cores, sub-routine overrides, and how you managed to build a loyalty system based on *empathy* instead of authority.

"You replaced their original fail-safe with a social dependency loop," he said, practically glowing. "That's... innovative. Risky. But brilliant."

"I try," you said, leaning against your workbench. "It helps that they trust me. Most people don't trust anything unless they can control it. Droids aren't any different."

Tech nodded slowly, examining the code you'd opened for him on your terminal. "You used a behavioral reinforcement system. Repetition and reward. This is similar to clone trooper training methodology—except applied to machines."

You gave him a sly look. "Are you comparing yourself to a B1?"

"I am acknowledging structural parallels in behavioral learning patterns," he replied, completely straight-faced.

You grinned. "That's what I said."

Tech paused, frowning slightly. "You are... amused by me."

"Observant, aren't you?" You stepped closer, brushing your shoulder against his as you leaned in to point at a line of code. "This part here—subtle failsafe. If they ever encounter an override attempt from an external signal, it loops them back to me."

He blinked, eyes darting from the screen to your face. "That is... impressively cautious."

"I've been told I'm full of surprises."

He didn't respond—just squinted closer at the screen.

You sighed, lips twitching. "Nothing? Not even a blush? Stars, you *are* all business."

Before he could answer (or continue missing your very obvious flirting), a loud crash echoed from the street outside, followed by the unmistakable hiss of a thermal disruptor and the annoyed squawk of one of your droids.

You were already moving.

Outside, a low-rent bounty hunter—tatty armor, one glowing eye, and an attitude that outpaced his ability—was holding one of your B1s at blaster point.

"Move, scrapheap, or I'll scrap you myself," he snarled.

The droid blinked. "Friend said no yelling. Friend also said no blasters unless you bring candy."

"*Candy?*"

You stepped into the street like a storm cloud in boots.

"Is there a reason you're threatening my droid, or are you just bored and stupid?"

The bounty hunter turned to you, smug. "This thing walked in front of my speeder. I don't care how shiny you paint 'em—B1s are still clanker trash. I'm just doing the galaxy a favor."

You gave a slow whistle.

Three more droids stepped out from alleyways and rooftops, all armed with repurposed but deactivated blasters—they didn't need live ammo to intimidate. One even had a frying pan.

The bounty hunter backed up a step.

You raised a hand.

"Engage," you said simply.

They moved like a synchronized swarm. Two pinned his arms while the others knocked the blaster from his hands and dismantled his boots with surgical precision. The frying pan droid stood back and provided color commentary.

"Friend says don't be mean! Friend says fix your attitude!"

The bounty hunter was on the ground and begging within seconds.

You stepped forward, crouched down, and grabbed him by the collar.

"You threaten one of mine again, and I'll let them finish what they started. You hear me?"

He nodded frantically.

"Good." You turned to your droids. "Escort him to the edge of town. Gently."

They saluted with cartoonish enthusiasm and dragged him off, half-hopping as they went.

You stood, dusted your hands, and turned back to find Tech watching with an unreadable expression.

"Well?" you said, folding your arms.

"That was... efficient," he admitted. "But highly aggressive."

You raised a brow. "They followed my orders exactly. Didn't fire a shot. Didn't kill. Didn't even insult his boots. I programmed them to protect what's mine, not wage war."

"But the capability—"

"*Exists.*" You cut in. "Just like yours does. Just like mine. The question isn't what they *can* do. It's what they *choose* to do. And what I program them to choose."

Tech looked at you then—really looked at you. A flicker of something passed behind his eyes. Understanding. Respect.

Maybe even admiration.

"They're not like the others," he said, finally.

You smirked. "Neither am I."

He hesitated, adjusting his goggles. "Would you... allow me to assist you in refining their motor skills protocols? I have a few ideas."

You leaned on the workbench again, grinning. "You wanna help me teach battle droids ballet?"

Tech blinked. "Not... precisely."

"Come on, Tech," you said, voice low and teasing. "Live a little."

He didn't answer, but he did roll up his sleeves and pull out a datapad, already scribbling new subroutine formulas with a faint smile tugging at his lips.

You might not have cracked the flirtation firewall yet—but the code was definitely compiling.

_-~-_

Read more works

[muletia]

You have infected my brain with merformers I AM NOT NORMAL FOR THIS AU. I have never given a single flying feather about AU's really, like they're cool, but I've never been overly invested in any, they just ain't my thing. And now suddenly merformer au is all I can think of, I need it injected into my veins asap

I have guppies on the brain so imagine, after you turn into a mermaid and have started to adjust to your life underwater, while baby guppies adjust to swimming pretty quick for the first few hours after birth they're pretty defenceless, it's like watching a new born giraffe learning it has legs. So mama mermaid stays with the babies for the first few hours after birth in the den/nest, and with the birth of a guppy, this causes an increase in their protective instincts. No other mermaid may approach the den, even their mate. Female mermaids will hiss, growl, snap and even smack at any mermaid that gets too close to the den and their newborn guppies

I imagine with you since you'd be a human that turned into a mermaid, the motherly instincts hit with the force of a semi truck since you're still adjusting to everything. You go from a loving, relaxed mate to a feral hissing creeture who glares at everything while cuddling your guppy/guppies

Imagine Optimus, sucessfully building a relationship with you, courting you, building a family with you, only to then be reminded that he can't even see his new baby until you say so. Optimus being alone for so many years forgetting that females of his species are very aggressive when protecting their babies when their first born, so he peers into the den all starry eyed at the sight of a chirping baby, only to have you act like a feral, hissing cat and smack his faceplate seven times before he retreats with a whimper

Additionally, Bee and Smockscreen also whimper like kicked puppies when you smack them, they know it's your motherly instincts but they're still upset cuz wifey is mad :( Bulkhead is also sad, but I can see him largely keeping his distance anyway because he'd be a nervous first time dad. Breakdown thinks it's funny, your angry swats feel like nothing but he's on guard duty for you so keeps his distance from the den anyway. I can sooo see Knockout as the type to be like "Pft they're not that bad Breakdown-" and then he promptly gets slugged across the jaw by your tail cuz he got too close for your liking

Ratchet I can see as the ONLY one who doesn't get smacked cuz he knows from the get go you're going to be territorial and protective of the baby, only gets close to offer you fish

I am not normal about this AU too, lmao. I totally didn’t expect my original ideas to hit so hard with you guys but here we are, and I’m having the time of my life.

Oh nooo, they’re all so pitiful. But ngl, it’s absolutely hilarious.

Let me add something too: Starscream would be offended. What do you mean you won’t allow him, the sire of your offspring, into your nest? Why are you hissing and growling at him? He responds in kind, and for a solid moment you both look like two puffed-up, angry cats, until Star gets smacked across the face and suddenly realizes your maternal instincts are not a joke. He retreats, grumbling under his breath that he better get to see his guppies soon.

I think Megatron would also quickly learn to stay out of your way for a while. But there’s no way he wouldn’t at least try to get a glimpse of the little ones. After a couple of attempts (and faceplate smacks), he’ll respond with a low growl of his own. He’ll wait, but his patience isn’t eternal. Sooner or later, he will want to see the hatchlings, and if he has to use force to make it happen, he will

[fatkish]

Good day~ I'd like to request some fluffy fluffy abo HCs for Shoji x Reader please! It's the first time he's taken his mask off around his omega, either pre-planned or accidentally, your pick. But omega is ultra affectionate and accepting, aaand gets a little scent-drunk from getting a pure whiff of his pheromones without the mask in the way, so they're just face-planted into his neck, purring.

Thanks for your time!

(I hope you don’t mind that I decided to make a short drabble about this)

Alpha Mezo Shoji x Omega Reader

On a cold afternoon after school, you and Mezo were snuggled up together inside your nest. Mezo had made you both some hot chocolate as you both got cozy and snuggled together under some soft warm blankets. Mezo had been debating with himself whether or not he should remove his mask in front of you. Mezo didn’t want to frighten you, he also didn’t want to be rejected, although he highly doubts that you’re that kind of person. He was afraid that you wouldn’t like the way he looks.

Earlier that afternoon, you had decided to make giant soft pretzels in your dorm together. You had taught Mezo how to make them and had put them in your toaster oven to cook them. Now you both were snuggling and waiting for the pretzels to be done. As you nuzzled into Mezo’s shoulder, he purred and wrapped his arms tighter around you, nuzzling his cheek into the crown of your head. You both were so warm and cozy that it was almost not worth getting up to retrieve the pretzels once the oven went off.

You got up and decided you wanted yours with cinnamon sugar so you melted some butter in a small bowl and mixed some cinnamon sugar and brown sugar in the butter, Mezo wanted a savory pretzel so he melted some shredded cheese on it and had a small bowl of marinara sauce. You both returned to your nest as you set your food in front of you both. You then grabbed your remote for your TV and pulled up Netflix to continue watching your guy’s show. While you were busy pulling up Delicious in Dungeon, Mezo had removed his mask.

Mezo was worried about how you were going to react. When you smelled the increase in Mezo’s scent you turned around to see Mezo had removed his mask. You stood still for a moment before jumping on him and snuggling into him. You kissed him all over face and nuzzled into his neck. Mezo could only smile with a soft look in his eyes as he wrapped his many arms around you as you both cuddled.

“I love you Mezo, Thank you for showing me your beautiful face” you spoke as you smiled

Mezo just purred and took the remote to start the show. You snuggled into Mezo as you both ate your pretzels and watched your show. You became a sort of giggly mess as you snuggled into Mezo and engulfed more of his scent and became somewhat scent drunk. Every time you thought something was funny you giggled, Mezo just smiled and chuckled seeing you drunk off his scent. You and Mezo continued to snuggle together as you watched TV that afternoon, all cozy and warm.

[mewnewew]

hiii I had a random idea

Zoro x reader

zoro and reader used to be tgt but broke up(mutual?) a long time ago, somehow the straw hats recruited a new member(reader) while zoro was asleep during the whole situation

Maybe there’s prob still some romantic tension between them? I think the both of them would somehow act like an old married couple lol

Heeey! Hope this fits. I think I threw more Strawhat stuff there more than needed oops. Yes I made that icon thing. Is it good?

A page left unfinished: Zoro x Reader

"It's weird...."

"Yeah it kind of feels like...."

"They're married?" Say both Nami and Usopp, simultaneously as the rest of the Strawhats watch you and Zoro bicker.

The argument had started when his swords had accidentally bumped against your hip while you were carrying some produce to Sanji. This caused you to yell at him, keeping the produce and him to get back at you.

"You can keep them down, you know? No one's going to steal them!"

"I said I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't cut it! It's hit me hundreds of times!"

"Oh please, it's not hundreds."

"How would you know?!"

And so on and so forth.

You were a new member, having joined the crew only a few islands back. While you were easygoing and quite amiable with the rest of the crew, they quickly found out your other side when you interacted with Zoro. In fact, the first time they saw you interacting with him was quite funny in hindsight.

(Zoro yawned, getting up and stretching. He'd been up all night, since there was a pirate attack via a pink, living submarine that he and was fighting off and probably had missed their stop to Plum Island. Scratching his scalp, he meanderd towards the kitchen where the rest of the crew were, taking a seat, he ignored Sanji's usual retort of how late he was and started drinking sake.

. . .Eh?

He proceeded to spit it out onto your face, realising his ex was sitting opposite him, shrieking at the sudden spray.

"You bastard!" You cursed.

"What?! What are you doing here?!"

"I'm your new nurse, you dumbass."

"Chopper doesn't need a clumsy idiot like you!"

"Why you-" You were getting up, already rolling up your sleeves, face still dripping with sake onto your shirt. Zoro getting ready with his swords.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Cried Nami, standing up and putting both hands in each of your directions. "What's happening here? Zoro, why're you acting like this? How do you know each other?"

With that, the both of you sat down, huffing. "We used to date, a few years ago."

"WHAAAAT?!" echoed the entire crew.

You looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "What, you didn't tell them?"

He grumbled, having folded his arms and shrugging. "If I knew you were going to be coming, I woulda told them."

With a sigh you flicked his forehead. "Pay attention and stop sleeping all the time!")

And that started it all. However, there were times where you two worked perfectly well. You had a power similar to Law's. Pulling. Not exactly switching something into it's place, just pulling the object or being to you. They had seen how well you and Zoro worked together when you managed to get on one side of the island when your group needed him, instantly pulling him to join the battle on this side. When you were in danger, you could yank him over to you, even over 5 ships lined tip to tip away. Hell, the entire crew was more than thankful for your power. (It saved them from being dragged by Luffy into the chaos)

Chopper couldn't be more than thankful when you yanked him back to his bed instantly, in order to not let him ruin his bandages. Sanji, praised you more than usual, thanking you with more of your favourite dishes when you could instantly just yank the man to your side, even if he was snoring in the Crows nest. Ussop thanked you profusely when you yanked him back when everyone was getting back to the ship, not letting the man get lost again.

Sanji, as he did with the rest of the crew, chatted and was generally on good terms with everyone, and since you were new, tried to cater to you more than usual, in order learn about your eating habits. Zoro, would do nothing out the ordinary other than roll his eye more than usual, and huff. Although, he did realise how closely you two moved.

⚔️

During one particular, ordinary meal after a battle, you sighed, and looked exhausted. Poor thing, you'd been using your power like anything and that took a lot out of you, if done with many people, regardless of amount of use. While everyone was quite tired, you looked almost dead on your feet. Before Sanji could offer to take you to your bed or something, Zoro stood, and nudged at your almost asleep state.

"C'mon, up" He coaxed.

"Hah? Whuzzat-?" You mumbled, blinking up at him.

"We're going to your cabin. C'mon"

"Huh? Oh, okay." You murmured, getting up almost unsteadily on your feet, where Zoro caught your hand, tugging you gently against him, so that you could lean on him.

Sanji, for once, towards Zoro, was speechless. He'd never seen that look on his face. It was a face of care, under a layer of worry. Another thing he had seen not necessarily only on the Swordsman's face but in his body language was the unspoken love. He knew what to say, how to handle you. That was love. Hell, he saw the trust that you had with him. Granted, you were quite comfortable with the crew now, there was something with Zoro, that was almost....natural. Just between you two.

"Well, I'll be." He whispered, half to himself, as he watched the duo go.

"Oi, Luffy! Don't steal Sanji's food!"

Robin walked past your room, humming to herself. Then paused. Walked back a little and looked in. There sat Zoro, frowning. He was looking at you, pointing at a....chart?

⚔️⚔️

"....She married Zack, you remember Zack right?"

"Why the hell would she do that."

"Exactly!" You threw your hands in the air. "That's exactly what I said!"

He crossed his arms, nodding for you to continue. "And what did she say?"

You clasped your hands together, put them on your chest and bore a sappy expression, blinking coquettishly. ""Oh, you don't get it. I love him!"" You said in a falsetto voice.

"Ugh!" Zoro scowled, shaking his head. It was at this point that Robin realised you were doing another married couple thing: gossiping.

"Thank you! Someone understood me!" You exclaimed.

"How the hell did her brother allow that? You told me he hated that guy."

"Heh" You grinned. "I don't think he'd much hate the guy, not when he was also dating him."

"What?-" and on you two continued.

She shook her head and moved on, stifling her laughter. What a pair you two were.

⚔️⚔️⚔️

Another moment was when Brook was sitting with Chopper, singing him a song he had heard about reindeer.

"And so they huffed..

And so they puffed

And they raised their heads up hi-i-gh..

For they pushed against, the cold, and the ice,

To sleep with a happy smi-ile~"

Laughing, Chopper clapped his hooves together. Then paused, looking behind him.

"What is it Chopper-san?"

"It's Zoro. He's holding chocolates? I thought he didn't like chocolates!"

Blinking, Brook stood up from his chair, coming to also see over the railing. Yes Zoro was indeed walking on the deck, towards you, holding chocolates in one hand. Coming over to you, he spun you around, dumped them in your hands and left. Quickly recovering from the shock, you yanked the table from where Brook and Chopper were, to crash onto Zoro, since he was in its path. Cursing at you, he turned-only to hear giggles as you had run off. Though the pair could clearly see he didn't have any real malice or anger in him. He was happy.

"I don't get it." Announced Chopper.

"Get what?"

"Why do they act like that? They, seem like they like each other, but they...."

"Act like enemies?"

He nodded. Brook looked at his violin, thinking how to best answer him. The violin had been bought by Robin, as a birthday gift, from a island known for it's instruments.

"Love isn't always erased after the relationship ends."

"It's still there? Even after so long?"

"Unless both or one party officially turns that love into something else that ruins what the other side or both sides cannot tolerate, it's still there. Just like how Sabo and Luffy loved and cared for each other, even when one party thought the other had died."

"Like me, Doctorine, and Doctor Hiriluk?"

Brook now looked at the young reindeer, his voice now soft, bearing an evident smile in the tone. "Yes. I'd imagine our young friends are somewhat similar in that aspect as well."

Then he chuckled conspiratorially, hand over his mouth. "Plus, no one said we couldn't keep bets and enjoy their antics, yo-ho-ho-ho-ho!"

At the final battle, a lot of people managed to fulfill their dreams. Zoro was one of them, having defeated Mihawk in a duel. He was due to go back to his hometown, to return Kuina's sword in a few days. The night before he left, you grabbed his plate of food, and went to find him. As expected, you found him at the Crows Nest, staring out at the distance.

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

"Oi, Greatest Swordsman" You called out.

"Hah?" He turned back, then relaxed slightly, and you knew he was somewhat pleased by that reaction.

"Got yer dinner."

"Thanks."

You came, and handed him his plate, before settling down next to him, sharing the view.

"So, how's it feel?"

"....Like normal actually. I knew I'd get there one day."

"Well" you sighed, leaning on his arm. "You were always gunning towards it, even when it seemed like you weren't."

"Heh, guess so."

Neither of you commented when Zoro's hand held one of yours. Nor when your thumb took the initiative of lightly stroking his.

In the morning, none of the crew would question it when the pair of you set out together, to his home, rather than just him. In fact, they were grinning as they saw you already yelling at him for somehow going in the opposite direction-even when the path was straight. None of them also commented or yelled out, when they saw Zoro clearly holding back a grin.

[lsunstreakerl]

omegaverse famiglia thoughts are getting to me🤭

just thinking about the angst of little max when gp first meets him…and max being so confused about any kind of comfort and care

also the mick and max relationship and both of them being protective of the other(mick bc max is omega and max bc mick is his little brother)

oh well now I'm having thoughts

the max and mick dynamic omg. they'd be so annoyed with each other all the time (the way siblings are- they'd still throw down for the other at any moment)

some worldbuilding for the presentation thing-

initial presentations are much younger, closer to 10. the initial cycles aren't heats/ruts, they're like a softer version- their bodies are still learning to produce the necessary hormone and so there isn't a sexual aspect to it at that point.

a soft rut is just a young alpha being very protective of their pack, family, and personal belongings (like, irrationally so. it's usually somewhat funny for everyone else when a baby alpha growls over their seat at the table being taken)

a soft heat is a young omega first having their nesting instructs, wanting to keep everyone nearby and together. they get upset when people try to leave the nest, and start really building on those instincts.

up until the initial presentations, kids don't have any indicators of their dynamics, and their noses are really weak. once they've had the initial presentation, their nose gets a lot stronger, and it's between the initial presentation and the secondary presentation that they learn to navigate scents.

secondary presentation is usually closer to 17/20- and between the initial presentation and the secondary is when their body has changed to accommodate for their designation. at this point the heat/rut cycle becomes a sexual thing.

it's basically an extended puberty. when max had his initial presentation is when he went on suppressants with jos, so he doesn't have any omega instincts to build on yet.

GP obviously has no way to know that max was on suppressants, which is why the nesting thing becomes an issue- max is coming off the dose, so he's having soft heats. soft heats are solved by nesting with pack- but max doesn't know (and won't) nest, and they don't have a pack yet. which is why GP gets so stressed about figuring out to get the nesting problem solved once he figures out what's going on.

[loniceravine]

3 #gelphie fics I need someone to write (or links to if they exist):

1. Galinda and Elphaba as professors who are married but the students don't know. Galinda is always talking about how sweet and funny and kind her wife is and the students are trying to figure out who it is. Ofc when they find out it's Dr. Thropp she's been talking about they're like ??? "Dr. Thropp's personality doesn't match the person you gush about in class"

2. a lighthearted pride and prejudice inspired scene but specifically when Mr. Darcy does that awful and hilarious proposal to Elizabeth that's like "you suck and I shouldn't like you and your family is stank but for some reason you have my affections, plz marry me." & of course the other is indignant and flabbergasted. Idc who's Darcy and who's Elizabeth. It's funny either way

3. Defying gravity doesn't happen & Frexspar is marrying off Elphaba over the summer so she can be someone else's problem. Galinda gets an invitation and is appalled her bestie didn't tell her about the engagement so in Galinda fashion, she shows up to Nest Hardings like "what the heck??" And Elphaba explains the situation: her choices are to get married or to get put out... and she doesn't know this man but at least he's not disgusted by her. Anyway, instead of having a reasonable response like asking her parents if Elphie can live with them, Galinda's immediate solution is to say, very platonically, "Oh, well I'll marry you, Elphaba!"

[trashbagcommunist]

I'm really behind on Animorphs, but I'm catching up. Just got through 12 this weekend, and since the last time I read, I've gotten really into paleontology, so the pedant in me had to come out lmao. Crocodiles are not that old. They're certainly not older than birds. Crocodilians don't appear until the Cretaceous actually (birds start appearing in the Jurassic), and it's kind of a misnomer to call them living fossils and imagine them as unchanged by time, not a dynamic evolving animal.

The clade that crocodilians nest within, pseudosuchia, has a diverse history with a lot of different kinds of animals filled various niches, and some of them were likely even endothermic. Crocodilians are a relatively recent member of the clade, but before that, diverse pseudosuchians were a dominant lifeform of the Triassic, when dinosaurs were just starting to evolve. But those animals weren't crocodiles. In fact, many of them look more like the 80s/90s portrayals of dinosaurs than modern crocodiles. While the book emphasizes their cold, uncaring nature, crocodiles have an interesting position amongst reptiles. Being archosaurs (the group of reptiles that birds also belong to), they are more attentive parents than non-archosaur reptiles. That by no means makes them cuddly, but it's still interesting imo. They also have a respiratory system similar to birds and are their closest living relative. It's kind of funny to think a crocodile and a red tailed hawk are closely related and have some shared features. Just fun pseudosuchian facts lol.

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

I know it probably won’t likely happen but funny scenario I thought of for RaCat au

Caryn and Shermie (and Filbrick but he’s optional maybe they left him at the airport because man got lost) or just the Pines come over to Ford’s house.

And they’re greeted with Ford, and Ford’s Co-Parenting Partner Fiddleford and Fiddleford’s Wife who is Emma-May who is also Stan’s raccoon wife, and Stan who’s Emma-May’s cat husband and somehow Tate’s stepfather when he’s a cat, and

Shifty who���s Ford’s kid, Tate’s brother, Stan’s nephew/son-kid thing, Emma-May’s grub son, Fiddleford’s grub son

I can just imagine the confusion on the other Pines faces as they try wrap their heads around how who’s related to who, and everything.

Someone at some point brings out a murder board/cork board to make sense of it all.

Alas, you're correct in that its very unlikly to happen, due to everyone in the situation agreeing 100% without discussion they are not going to explain their messed up family life to anyone outside it if at all possible. If the Pines get a headsup about incoming family visit, the McGuckets clear out for the duration and it goes very similarly to how it did in Cat Stan shorts.

Of course, if there's no notification about the visit its a different, more hilarious story of surprise Ma and Shermie Pines (with or without Fil) busting in, and everyone scrambling to create a story on why all these people live/ hang out in the house. Which would be fine if somewhat suspicious, except because its a surprise there was no time to come up with a cohesive story, so everyone's telling different and conflicting lies with 0 ideas of what everyone else is saying.

So Ford goes : Oh Stanley lives with me now, and so does my friend Fiddleford after he was met with some financial troubles with his family. They're working on moving out now that they're more stable, but its slow going :) (Normal, believable even. Ask no more questions and it can remain so)

Fiddleford goes: Oh my wife disappeared and Ford offered to put me and my son-sons! up while the search was going on. Now she's back and we're working on moving out. Where was she? uhhh- lost. Got lost in the woods and was surviving all on her lonesome before Stanley found her and drove her back home. Very kind of your son (Still normal, but the lack of ready answer on where Emma-May was draws suspicion along with Fiddleford calling Stan 'kind')

Emma-May goes: my husband moved in with your son due to not being able to support himself after i was kidnapped by the government. They wanted to steal my research, but thankfully i broke out and stumbled upon Stanley here. He drove me up here to disappear after the government chased us down, where i found my husband and your other son. (Started normal, ended weird. Kidnapped? by the government? Why did he come straight here and not go to your family's house first? No thought to find your husband first?)

Which are all very good and mesh well together (as long as you don't look too closely). But then Stan (who was missing, very noticeably losing his car in the process and therefore could not drive Emma-May anywhere, and there is no extra Stan vehicle to be found) goes

I kidnapped by the government for illegal experiments. Emma-May was the scientist responsible, but i charmed her with my roguish ways and we escaped. I didnt want to get anyone else involved, but Emma-May's husband is some kind of robot genius and she said he could help me disappear forever. It took ages of walking and relying on the kindess of strangers to drive us to California, but when we got to their house he was gone! Turns out he and Ford knew each other, and Fiddleford took the opportunity of his wife being missing to throw himself into Fords strong beefy nerd arms and start a whole new life together. We tracked them down here to their love nest, where Emma-May saw them canoodling and, heartbroken, threw herself into my, far more beefy and impressive arms. We're married now, but they're also trying to get it to work for the sake of their son. I guess you could say Fiddleford's my husband in law? Anywho, Ford got a kid with Fiddleford at somepoint, so thats where that other kid came from. Why's he look so much like ford? Uhh. Clone. Yup! you didnt hear this from me though.

Which is insane, except it also ties in the awkwardness of the other stories if this is some version of the truth that everyone else wants to hide. No one explains the racoon/cat thing. No one thinks to ask each other what the others said until after the visits over, and if at any point Ford was interrogated for details his story would devolve into some mess similar to Stan's, cementing that as the actual truth in the Pines minds. except for the fiddleford x ford romance Stan threw in for shits and giggles, but of course he wouldn't admit to get familiar with a married man.

[emo-gremlin]

P03 headcanons

💾 Since transcending to the real world, the OLD_DATA attached herself to him. Using the old coding of him as a stoat, she took that form and is now his pet. She likes to sleep in his chest, amongst his wires. She comes out very dusty.

💾 He loves watching fail compilations because it's funny.

💾 Took up coding and hacking to pay the bills and feed Data.

💾 Grimora is the only Scrybe he actually gets along with. She makes good tea, and is quite pleasant company. Her way of teaching him about organic life is nowhere near as condescending or high and mighty like the other two.

💾 Unfortunately due to his...well I mean he's a fucking robot, the human world ain't ready for robots like him. So he has to live with the other Scrybes. He HATES it. Grimora and Leshy are the only two human-presenting Scrybes of the group so they have to do all the shopping and such.

💾 Data is quite intelligent, since she contains the Karnoffel code, she's able to understand human speech. She's also able to help P03 with some of his wires.

💾 P03 is the tech expert of the house. He holds it over everyone's head. Smug bastard.

💾 Turns out, Data is quite popular on social media. Thankfully, his followers believe P03's wearing a cosplay in pictures he appears in.

💾 Soft drinks (Tea, black coffee, water) he can pour into his exhaust system to use as a kind of steam energy. Hard drinks (Alcohol) have to go through his coolant system. The only port to get those inside is....In human terms he butt chugs Alcohol.

💾 Sloppy, truthful drunk. The effects of the Alcohol last much longer, usually taking up to 24 hours before he starts recovering from it.

💾 He beeps in sleep/charging mode.

💾 Has to do a "Spring cleaning" twice a year. Grimora helps. It can get a bit...awkward since his wires can be very sensitive, so he powers down during it. Grimora is the only one he trusts doing this.

💾Leshy had to help him one time and somehow P03 ended up with a cardinal nest in his chest.

💾 Magnificus helped another time and painted a mural on the inside of his plating. It melted because the paint he used couldn't withstand the heat of P03's processing.

💾 Despite everything they've done, deep down, very deep down, P03 is happy he isn't alone in the real world. Having some familiar faces helped a lot with the transition.

Scrybe household headcanons!

💾 Grimora tries to have Scrybe bonding nights. Uno is officially banned from the household. Monopoly too.

💾 They are hiding from GameFuna. The company doesn't know they're in the real living world, and they'd like to keep it that way if possible. The game devs are still reeling from the Great Transcendence.

💾 Because of his beastly nature, animals naturally trust him (Except Data, who resents him for trying to keep her trapped) this leads to many animals following him home. The consensus is that if any of the animals piss or shit on anything in the house, he has to clean/replace it. And they are to be NOWHERE near P03's room. The only exception is if Data hunts something and brings it to his room to eat.

💾 Magnificus gets commissioned by the local government quite a lot. He has to wear a suit and gloves, but thankfully the excuse of having hypertrichosis keeps people from asking questions.

💾 Grimora works at the local funeral home. Her surprisingly warm nature helps console those who have lost a loved one. She writes touching epitaphs for the dead. She's also great at helping young children understand death in a way that helps them grieve and accept their loved one is in a better place.

💾 Grimora is very popular among the goth crowd, growing a small following on social media. Due to P03's reprogramming of Inscryption, she doesn't really appear too much in game, so she's able to show her face a bit more.

💾 Magnificus also has a following online, but he's extremely critical if anyone asks for art advice from him. He's like the Gordon Ramsey of art.

💾 Leshy has a local D&D group he DMs for. One of his crew streams the games, and a lot of people are fans of his DM style. He doesn't have any online accounts.

💾 Somehow the Lonely Wizard is the only NPC that came with them. He's become the households resident creature. Data likes to nap in his lap sometimes.

Happy Easter, or to those who don't celebrate, Happy Sunday!

[via-l0ve]

Hello! I've been binging your fics/imagines lately and I just can't get enough! I don't know if this was ever done before, but--

Could you do a general, platonic (perhaps mildly romantic, like how I see Dean kinda gushing over Y/N idk, your choice!) imagine on how the men (Sam, Dean, Castiel, maybe Crowley [which would be funny]) would react to Y/N being some kind of powerful angel, like that sits at a pretty high rank and has the power to do all sorts of stuff? Healing, destroying, anger being so destructive it could kill a human (but albeit a peaceful being). This angel would probably serve as a guardian to the Winchesters, or a superior to Cass or a complete surprise and maybe unlikely companion for Crowley? I imagine it'd be a scenario where they're saved last second during a massive fight, probably get to know er type deal. This sounds kind of cheesy as I ask someone else to write this but I hope it doesn't sound too weird, I almost wanna go anonymous HAHA. I know this is VERY specific but I don't wanna confuse you! It's something I wanna write out into a fic myself but the way you write would make it super interesting! :)

So sorry if this was too much, I'm very descriptive!

Angel. (SPN pref!) 🩷

a/n: stop omg. this idea is so cool! also - thank you for the kind words!! i appreciate you so much!! i hope you enjoy this!

warnings: slightly romantic!!

Dean:

Dean met you on a hunt

he was being himself and basically bleeding out, but he was still fighting

you, being in charge of the dink, had to come down and help out

when you appear, a bolt of white light strikes the ground and your voice projects through the atmosphere

“you will not hurt this man.” you say, hair blowing in the wind and eyes glowing

dean was flabbergasted, also a little scared, but also a little bit in love

eventually you just kill the entire vampire nest because they’re stupid and you turn to dean.

“are you okay?”

he’s even more confused because this angel just came down and slaughtered the threats to him and now they’re talking so.. nice.

you heal his wounds and boom. now he’s your friend

he follows you around like a lost puppy and also brags that he’s friends with not one, but two angels, and one is even more powerful and higher up than fucking CASTIEL.

as he gets to know you he knows how sweet you are and it inteigues him even more because - as i said, you’re a powerful angel who can kill anyone but you’re so nice to him, Sam, Bobby and Cas.

the first time he sees you angry he literally gets all red and falls for you

—

Sam:

You first met sam when he was basically bleeding out in a motel room

Dean had gone to get food and sam had been hiding a pretty nasty gash from him

so now he was sitting alone trying to patch himself up (and being unsuccessful)

so, you made your appearance and tried to keep him calm

you appeared and he saw you and went 👁️👄👁️

“it’s okay. i’m an angel. i will not hurt you.” you say softly, stepping towards him

sam is still a little wary but he lets you heal him

you press your fingers to his forehead and he’s all good (albeit a little scared hahah)

he always has the smuggest little smirk on his face when you get angry on his behalf

he likes the feeling of having such a powerful being watching over him all the time but it also makes him nervous because of… his past💀

addicts recover

—

Castiel:

When you came down from heaven to help the Winchesters and Castiel, he was happy to see you

he knew, despite rebelling from heaven, you wouldn’t judge him

he spends a lot of time near you

like, standing right next to you

i like to think that you have better “people skills” than him for whatever reason (it’s just funny) and he just kind of sticks to you ykwim

he thinks you’re so cool

he dosent step in to help you in fights because he knows you can handle it and kill anyone you want

he’s blushing and kicking his feet when he sees you🤭🤭🤭

absolute power couple if you guys got together like omg

but yeah

he always defends you if anyone says shit

he’s just such a cutie pie

—

Crowley:

you popped in when crowley was holding dean and sam hostage

you came into the room, eyes rolling already.

“let them go.” you said, voice sounding bored as you’d done this multiple times already.

crowley looks at you

“oh god, you again.” he scoffs

BUT he dosent even bother to argue and lets them go

which shocks the boys because that’s not like crowley

but he’s smitten for you

it’s giving enemies to lovers

but anyways

you guys have many encounters and end up talking a lot

crowley talks about hell and you talk about heaven

and he finds himself not hating you

and suddenly he wants to be around you more and learn about you and watch you be a badass angel

[tonycries]

DADDY TONY IM SO SORRY I SENT THE PWP TO THE WRONG BLOG IM IN SHAMBLES AND TEARS. There's like, lore? Not sure if you want the full worldbuilding, but the basics here is Choso is a crow! Or has crow wings, anyways. Crows are very family oriented, which I thought was amazing. It's been recorded that crows who left the nest will return to help their parents with younger clutches! Tell me that isn't a Choso thing to do, I dare you. Plus their whole symbolism with carrion/blood/death (painting) can you see the vision? I made Yuji a chickadee for the crack. They're kinda food-hoarders, which is very funny to me. Not picky birds at all; they'll eat anything from seeds and nuts, to insects, even pick at carrion! I thought it was very fitting for the idiot (affectionate) who ate a rancid ahh finger. Personality wise, they're very friendly birds, very vocal and curious and friendly. Very Yuji. Eso and Kechizu are there for the plot, but they're not really mentioned in the porn. I miss them sm when fics don't include them. I've left the reader's wings up to interpretation! For the worldbuilding, it basically boils down to omegas running society, bc I was sick of all the 'Ragh, alphas are the superior subgender' shit. With the exception of Daddy Tony, ofc. Omegas are low-key terrifying in this one; the whole idea spawned from a couple tiktoks I found! Anyways, I've kept you waiting long enough! The opps (character limit) are against me, so I'll post the smut in chunks! Hope Daddy forgives my sin.

-😔 Choso didn't know how he got this lucky. You were everything he could ever dream off, so pretty and kind and warm in a way that had every part of him aching. He really was going to have to buy Yuji something; if it weren't for his baby brother getting lost in the park, he might never have met you. All wide eyes and soft smiles, with the chickadee clinging to your back, right between your wings. The sight of it still hadn't left his mind; what if that was a different chick? One that looked a little like him, and a lot like you, with your eyes and smile and feathers. He hadn't expected you to laugh and accept his fumbling requests for your number, hadn't expected you to invite him over. Fuck, he wondered if his feathers would line your nest after tonight. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect to find himself in your apartment, feathers puffed with adrenaline and need. Had he preened himself well enough? His brothers had insisted on helping, but chicks weren't exactly reliable. Oh no, what if his wings were a mess and he didn't seem impressive enough— "Are you over-thinking this, Cho?" Your voice cut through his thoughts. Choso's head jerked up, eyes meeting yours for a split second before he had to look away. Oh, why had he given you permission to call him by his first name? The sound of it was so sinful on your lips, he had to choke back the urge to just fall to his knees and start begging. For what, he wasn't quite sure. "N-no. Just nervous. I've never..." He winced. How much more pathetic could he sound? Never been with an omega before? Never been with anyone? Hadn't even wanted to until he saw you, you, you. "No? Never?" You were so mean to him. You already knew what he was going to say, why were you making him say it? (What did it say about him that he craved when you were a little cruel?) "Cute." That word had Choso's brain short-circuiting. Cute. Cute. You thought he was cute? He stuttered, unable to find anything to say. Cheeks flushing a brilliant red, he ducked his head.

I demandddd moreeee JJK men with wings ngh 😩❗ Being mean to Choso and him getting a severe case of birdbrain (I just had to, sorry) I love itttt you're so talented ml!!

[abundantchewtoys]

Beyond Canon re: Addendum 1

So yeah, I figured we'd get an intermission before the next part of Beyond Canon.

After reading the update, calling it an Addendum instead of Intermission makes sense though. I hadn't considered they'd continue on the book theme so much!

I do like the direction the team went here. Recontextualizing Calliope's strange behaviour as a cultural thing.

Also, it's strange to see to which extent they're aware of the narrative! They narrated literally what the narration was saying, implying they had a direct link to Alt Calliope! They's written down the happenings in the Candy timeline!

But apparently, at least from how they wrote it down, Karkat has no awareness of Alt Calliope's involvement there, it seems!

I do like we have yet another physical manifestation of the story, after the discs and cartridges from Homestuck proper.

Anyway:

760

I also very much like the updated, more mature sprites & outfits for Karkat & Calliope!

So Karkat would seem more attractive to Calliope in case he was buff. Like his Candy counterpart, okay, but does that mean that, to some extent, LE's appearance would have seem attractive to Calliope too? Shudder.

It's hilarious that Karkat misinterpreted Calliope's overture as a romantic one, and completely understandable that he had no interest. It shows perhaps also how he would have handled it if Nepeta ever had found the courage to approach him directly.

… Oh god, Calliope was even in the vents like Nepeta!

761

In hindsight, Karkat reviewing Calliope's "fanfiction" is extra funny given the Paradox Space story where Dave does it for Karkat.

762

I guess Calliope's writing is as addictive as a juju.

763

"CALLIOPE: what did yoU think of it? ^u^

KARKAT: WHEW, OKAY, WHERE DO I START.

KARKAT: THE FORMATTING, FOR ONE.

KARKAT: ARE YOU STILL DOING CHAPTERS? IT FEELS LIKE THE LAST CHAPTER JUST… KEEPS GOING.

KARKAT: NOT TO MENTION ALL THE CHAPTERS YOU STRAIGHT UP SKIPPED."

So. Meta. lol

"CALLIOPE: i think of everything past the point of dave's apotheosis-

KARKAT: HIS OBAMA-INSPIRED SUICIDE?

CALLIOPE: well, that's a redUctive way of pUtting it, bUt yes, that-

CALLIOPE: everything past that point seems to me to work more as the first act of a follow-Up saga!"

So, funny enough, the chapter format went on in the first part of HS:BC, before the team switch.

But yes, Beyond Canon is the sequel to the epilogues. … Star Wars has the sequel trilogy, Homestuck has a sequel epilogy :p

"KARKAT: YOU'VE GOT YOUR WRIGGLERS EMBIGGENMENT SCOPE TOWERING OVER OUR SHITTY LITTLE NEST, BURNING US ALL ALIVE AS YOU WATCH PERVERSELY."

Oh wow, I didn't understand this sentence on the first readthrough, but a "wrigglers embiggenment scope" is just troll for "magnifying glass", okay. :p

764

I very much love this art!

It shows that at least subconsciously, Calliope still is connected to the Candy timeline with her musey powers.

The four lights following Vriska there are the kids, the silhouettes of the adults on the right…

Then the red stream are of course a reference to Vriska. The blue is John though! His glasses are there on the left, see? Roxy appears to be jumping for him. Maybe this means Vriska's hell tier is the "proper" powerup as counterpoint to John's "cheating" with the retcon powers he got through the juju? Then again for Vriska, the red is part of her costume, and blue is her blood colour.

The purple streaks are perhaps most disturbing. Come to think of it though… The purple & orange might be references to Meat Dirk & Rose! And it seems there are further drawings on the walls we are not privy to, yet. At least we know now the what kind of scribbles/disturbing drawings Calliope was probably also drawing back on Earth, after her first run-in with her Alt self there.

"KARKAT: ALSO, I DID LIKE HOW YOU HANDLED THE SEX SCENES.

KARKAT: YOU LOCKED IN ON SOME CLASSIC NOXIOUS BLACKROM TROPES THAT WERE ALL THE RAGE ON ALTERNIA, AND THEN UNFORTUNATELY SWEPT UNDER THE RUG BY EARTH C'S IDEOLOGICALLY WHITEWASHED POST-CASTE SOCIETY.

KARKAT: NASTY SHIT WITHOUT THE CULTURAL CONTEXT, BUT A CRITICAL THREAD IN THE GRAND TAPESTRY OF LOVE AND HATE.

KARKAT: THEY ALL MADE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF, AND I RESPECT THAT."

That's presumably because blackrom is the natural attraction for cherubs. But the idea that Gamzee <3< Jane was a favorite for Karkat, shudder x2.

"KARKAT: THIS IS NOTHING, YOU SHOULD SEE THE HARANGUING I PUT DAVE'S SCRIPTS THROUGH. AND HE HAS A WAY MORE SOPHISTICATED AND NUANCED VOICE THAN YOU, SORRY TO SAY.

CALLIOPE: well, yoU really didn't have to say that, bUt moving past it.

CALLIOPE: i gUess that i was jUst hoping that yoUr UniqUe perspective as both a knight of blood and a well-liked scholar of kinship coUld grant me some insight on how this all wraps Up!"

It's great to get this interaction, finally. Karkat as Caliborn's closest match in manner of speech + blood colour could've triggered all kinds of reactions in Calliope, but I like how they're more mature than that (slightly). Also, funny that Karkat's obsession with romcoms is now plot relevant.

"KARKAT: WHO WANTS TO READ THIS SAD FREAK GARBAGE FOREVER?

CALLIOPE: I DO!!!

CALLIOPE: at the very least, i can't leave things stUck as they are.

CALLIOPE: but if it has to end… i don't want it to feel…

KARKAT: POINTLESS?

CALLIOPE: v.v

KARKAT: YEAH. I WON'T PRETEND I DON'T GET IT.

KARKAT: YOU HAVE DEFINITELY DUG YOURSELF A GIANT HOLE TO NEVER-ENDINGLY BULLSHIT INTO, BUT …

KARKAT: IT WOULD BE SAD TO LEAVE THEM LIKE THIS.

CALLIOPE: exactly!!!!"

So. Very. Meta. Yeah, the HIBC team had their work cut out for them.

"CALLIOPE: … so yoU're saying yoU want to keep reading it?

KARKAT: OBVIOUSLY."

Jake gets so much shade over his tastes in movies, but Karkat's no better, just more specialized.

"KARKAT: IT'S ALL ENDED UP KIND OF MESSY… I MEAN, I GUESS WE COULD DO SOME REWRITES, BUT…

CALLIOPE: retcons like that are a little amateurish, don't yoU think?

KARKAT: FOR SURE."

Now, in the coming pages, some things happen, and I've seen people point to them already as retcons, but…

Yeah I dunno, I'll give my thoughts as they happen.

765

See, if this WERE retcons happening, that would seem to imply a version of John & Vriska are working on this in tandem, right?

But that's out of left field, given that Candy John has no retcon powers and Meat John's indisposed.

So that would imply a future version of John is working together with Vriska, and unlike in Homestuck, we won't see what happened pre-retcon. I'd be kind of sad for that! The original retcon was a way out of an impasse as well, but we saw what happened with out it, [S] Game Over!

On the other hand, my initial read of this page was Vriska's arrival in the timeline, together with the kids, was an actual physical force interacting with Meat. Through the even horizon of the black hole (bottom part of the image, tinted green in reference to the Green Sun), into the C universe (tinted white). Starting on Earth C…

767

The letters Meat John wrote for his friends vanish.

Not retcon: Vriska might have teleported them with her to Deltritus, inadvertently, so that the Meat adults may find and read them.

Retcon: ??? John never left them in his room? They actually went back to read the letters? Why would we need a retcon for this, I mean, did the past interactions really imply none of the others ever went to John's house before departing? I guess, maybe?

768

I like how the smoke on her cigarette is the same blue colour.

So, I know who see on the next pages, but has Jasprose stayed to enjoy the company of Snowman, I wonder, is that who's pouring out that drink? What about Swifer Eggmop and the others that came with, though?

Also, sidenote: Vriska said Candy Universe C was doomed. What does that mean for the Influencers, heroes of that other side story?

769

So they arrive on Deltritus, Dirk has emblazoned his shades on the planet's moon, nothing too surprising.

The clock showing in the flashy effects at least would seem to imply they arrive after the timeskip (which would be the obvious choice anyway).

770

Further support for my theory of 'Vriska travelled semi-physically through Universe C' - this effect almost seems to connect Earth, the ship, and Deltritus, with how the panels are layed out!

772

Non-retcon: Jane and Jake travelled to the ship from Problem Sleuth space after Jasprose was done with her character training. They (Jane) made amends with the crew some time in the past time they've been back.

Retcon: Jane & Jake's arc's been retconned to have Jane leave Earth C with the others - almost in parallel to Vriska's own arc with the meteor crew, if you think about it!

Honestly, for me this could be explained either way, but I prefer the non-retcon one!

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

my friend and i have watched the henry danger trailer over and over again at least 30 times, and we've watched it COUNTLESSLY at .25 speed and pausing every 5 seconds to point out random ass little tidbits and make assumptions and theories.

this is a hyperanalysis dump of everything we've noticed so far!

under the cut🗣️🔥‼️

in chronological order!!

BLACKOUT?

whys bro got CLAWS NOW WHATTT

i still want to think this is blackout but at the same time the claws kinda throw me off since i don't think those were in df? so it's kinda weird? IDKIDKIDJD QE DO HAVE MORE THIS GUY CLIPS THOUGH AND IDK WHO HE IS BUT I LOVE HIM! #! #! $ BEAT HENRYS ASS BRO GIVE US THAT HURT WE'VE BEEN WAITING ON FOR SIX YEARS/j

that's all ive got about bro, i did also make an entire theory post about him though so OUT OF THE WAY BUDDY/j

BIZWATCH TRUTHING

ignore how it's shittily put together cropped images i have lots to share and don't want to exceed tumblrs image limit, i am NOT making another post with all the same fuckin things😭😭

BIZWATCH RUMORS (literally just me reading a sign in the background) are TRUE. charlotte is absolutely not in on this because she wouldn't have let this name slide/j it is growing on me though!! the fact that bizwatch has such a large & expensive building implies that this could be far into the future of the dangerverse timeline— henry's first appearance back since hd is like 3 weeks after the beginning of df and his last appearance i want to say is like 2 or 3 years since the beginning of danger force, and i don't think anybody in the history of like ever has made enough money with their underground vigilante business to be able to have such a flashy & huge hq

also, why is it in existence??? if you're the SINGULAR HEROES in the most dangerous city in the world, you'd want your hq to be more..... hidden?? yknoww....??? and not pull a man's nest??? not complaining though it looks silly

also also, the clip glee dango released could maybe be taking place in that building??? not sure though because of how run down it is but still oooo aaaah

MISSY'S BEDROOM!!

i have SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT MISSY'S BEDROOM BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY LITTLE EASTER EGGS HIDDEN IN IT AARRGRGGRHH

firstly, the way henry falls into the bedroom makes me think that like he fell out the window and the reality altering device took him into missys bedroom and like accidentally saved bros life which would be so funny 😭😭

there are SO MANY REFERENCES LITTERED IN THIS

from top to bottom, left to right

"[??]-INSPIRED GRAFFITI SWEEPS THE CITY"

added the extra image because it's clearer there, but IS THAT A WALL DOGS REFERENCE? #?? ## IS THAT A HENRY AND THE BAD GIRL PART ONE AND TWO REFERENCE? #! #?

" ..... Exiled by Swellview......"

i dunno who the hell they're talking about with that one but like also at the same time it's blurry as shit and i kind of guessed... quite a few of these are guesses......

"Kid Danger and ThunderGirl in daring traintop meelee"

THUNDERMANS CROSSOVER REFERENCE! $!! $! $ this girl is dedicated i lwk forgot that happened

"Swellview Dispatch: Kid Danger Dies in Firey Blimp Accident and Saves Entire City. The City Mourns Its Young Hero"

okay so they DOO know about the finale

does that mean missy was the ultimate fucking theorizer above us all??? is she the only one in this universe that puts the two and two together that bizwatch ceo henry hart looks a lot like dead superhero kid danger??? guys missy is the only one in nickelodeon history to do that she might be a lot smarter than we thought, having the capabilities of basic logic..... /j I LOVE HER ALREADY

or maybe she thinks she just used her reality altering device to bring back the dead, in which case i subtract points/j

"A Superhe[ro]...... Answ[er]... The [??????].. all pay"

literally no clue, the pay part makes me want to think budget cuts ref? but im not sure i need more context to that one— i would literally pay any amount of money to buy ANY of these set pieces bro😭😭

"Swellview Dog Society calls foul (?) on irresponsible breeding practices"

not a reference to anything as far as im aware but... good to know? swellview has a dog society now funzies

"Kid Danger Calls Out Bill Evil"

DANGER THINGS REFERENCE! $! $! $! DANGER THINGS MENTIONED! #! $! $!! $

i do know that there was one ill find later that was a rock box dump reference and i thought it was so fun

SHE HAS A KID DANGER COSTUME AWWHH I'M CRYIGNFNND I LOVE HER I LOVE HERR

the reality altering device abbreviates to rad... like how swellview academy for the gifted abbreviates to swag.... im so done😭😭

how did she even get access to that shit??? she has a blueprint above her computer when she was like doing all that coding stuff and its the blueprint to the device itself, does that mean she like made it herself?? maybe like in tandem to the omega weapon she had someone make it for her?? idk idk i need to watch this fucking movie bro 😭😭😭

POSSIBLE OTHER VILLAIN??? WHO ARE YOU MY BRO WHAT SCI FI SHORT DID YOU POP OUT OF

OTHER STUFF (VILLAINS & STUFF)

PIPER TURNS INTO BATS AQWWWHWH I LOVE HER

just got back from doing day 2 of finals though & im tired as all hell so i don't have that much more for now but i may continue dumping stuff later 😭😭

if i add more ill reblog it🗣️🔥‼️

[chasedeys]

......do you have any thoughts about omega ja'marr in an a/b/o setting 🧍‍♂️🏃‍♂️

your hand in marriage. right now. idc idccccc how do you want to do this. /jk hehe i do love and appreciate you though!!! so beware this goes on and on and also has koc/jj in the end because now that screams traditional alpha/omega couple

a/b/o joemarr 😔 are you really truly down bad for a ship if you aren't thinking violently persistent thoughts of them in an a/b/o au.

i am Horrendously down bad so. i fuck so heavily with alpha/alpha joemarr because hello.....alpha pairings.......god...........'battling for control' bullshit except no they actually give it so willingly.............

BUT OMEGA JA'MARRRRRRR that's literally my shit 😭😭🫶🫶🫶🫶 literally everything about him is my shit i fear. call that Obsessive.

him being not of the standard beauty looks wise or traditional omega wise because!! he's brash, he talks his shit, he works his shit, he's big and strong, he chooses his tattoos big and bold, he laughs too loud and unapologetically, he makes crude jokes, he punches alphas in the dick, he flirts with all omegas and betas and steers clear from alphas, okay well no he does flirt with alphas but only to leave them high and dry because he finds it funny (and inside hes terrified and uncertain of being with any kind of alpha) and then just laughs over it bc he's untouchable they can't bring him down at all because he's the exact opposite of traditional subservient omegas he Can and Will kick your ass if you try anything messy with him.

but he also likes the idea of being that kind of omega!! not completely bc if anyone tries to take his rights away or order him around just because they're of a 'higher hierarchy' than him he'll kill them the fuck but!! he loves nesting! loves cooking! completely and utterly shit at it at first but he obsessively pursued it bc someone put it in his head that all good omegas know how to cook and he thinks its crock shit now but back then he stuck with it because he's suchhhh a romantic at heart. he loves the idea of providing and caring a home and nest for anyone he cares for and KIDS ugh we all know how much he loves kids. joe looks at him playing with a kid and his brain melts out of his ears fearfully getting into a knothead headspace he has to reel it back in heavily.

(also something abt me even if i KNOW this person Cannot Cook For Shit in some universe i will make them A Good Cook. it doesn’t even have to be because of plot or anything literally no correlation whatsoever but i'd love to drop in a ‘ja’marr hisses at him to take his spoon away from his cooking pot of gumbo what is he an animal’ or a ‘joe pokes at his side so he’d scoot away, pouring the pancake batter in then smearing the laddle on a distracted ja'marr's hand and laughing when ja’marr yells at him’ or whatever. like i answered a bit here!! learning how to cook together so they wouldn't die of scurvy ❤️ i know they can hire private chefs damn it but who the fuck cares think of the Domesticity)

but back to the omega ja'marr he isnt always like this!! before he grew into the steel spined take-no-shit omega he is now he was a whole lot more shyer and idk uncertain during college!! sure he'd still brawl and flirt his way through etc etc but when people try to deck him down a notch because of his omega status he'd still freeze up at first! it takes time especially in this shit show of a testosterone high alpha centered sport for him to steel his spine to downright indestructible.

totally sleeps around with omegas and betas, tells alphas to fuck off liberally he’s not getting a pregnancy scare (mpreg is such a hilariously fun concept to me i completely blank out on any technical aspect of it. literally the what the hell sure lady meme.) when he’s this close to achieving his nfl dreams and fuck off okay he loves kids he knows everyone knows this but fuck offfff he hems and haws to think of anyone who would he would actually stand and also treat him right for him to want a kid with them (fuck the image of joe in his head offffff).

joemarr, specifically alpha!joe/omega!ja'marr

from college!! where they're still trying to settle into their roles the way they're comfortable with and fighting stereotypes and class expectations!! and also the year where they're all starting to be unapologetically slutty!! and joe being their star qb high alpha or some shit and ja'mar being the new freshie to sopho omega wr

ja'marr chock full of insecurities and hang ups over not being the 'ideal omega' even when he's projecting and shouting clearly that he doesn't give a shit about being the perfect traditional omega in the first place but!! doesn't joe deserve that? joe is such a good alpha that he thought was only possible in fantasy books and movies he watches obsessively when he was a kid (still do but whatever) and getting kind of blinded by this image of joe that he himself built up when joe's anything but perfect ->

he’s awkward, zero smoothness at flirting when he really cares for it, 'flirts' by staring intensely edward-cullen-esque but without the excuse of trying to read your thoughts (well no he’s trying to reach into ja’marrs head and pick him apart to get to know him better in a ‘date me’ aspect instead of just asking like a normal person but anyway), he likes spongebob and has nerdy ass interests that amuses and endears himself to ja’marr to no end, he can be pissy and foul mouthed and sure he can be such a gentleman but he’s also completely down and dirty matches all the alpha crude humor that ja’marr himself delights on, that cocky alpha full-of-himself schtick that joe is absolutely not an exception to, etc etc so basically the thing isn’t that joe is the perfect alpha, he’s the perfect alpha for ja’marr. but ja’marr doesn’t see this at first! and he doesn’t see himself as anything of worth to joe other than a wide receiver and an epically close friend! can’t even begin to think of a future involving anything of requited love with him. all because of his own head.

but the thing is: closet romantic soft-hearted ja’marr growing up loving to watch disney (think lion king lol. 'can't you feel the love tonight' starts playing and he's gone.) and cute one dimensional hallmark alpha/omega movies where the alpha is of a certain sort. but like hell ja’marr can stand a perfect gentleman who treats him like a single minded worshipper, like he's made of glass to put on a pedestal displayed and never to be touched. he needs someone who matches him fire for fire, relentless and shamelessly ambitious, doesn't flinch away from his sharp angles or make him into something he's not, and not just disgustingly bland like those in hallmark movies bland you know?? which is one of the reasons why he’s so reluctant of being with an alpha!! he doesn’t want to be treated that way. no alpha would want someone who doesn’t want to be treated that way. so he backs off completely from alphas no matter the type and finds delight in betas and omegas who are like him! having fun!! breaking norms!!

but then he meets joe and gets to know him past his initial impression of the previous points and oh no holy shit oh noooo, he sees nothing of this alpha sort he's steered clear of in joe!! he's nothing like the basic romcoms on the perfect alphas he grew up loving and idealizing and then growing to feel revolted of!! and that just fucks him up even more because damn. there’s no way that alpha is for him.

and then there's joe who looks like the perfect alpha and tries his absolute best to be the perfect gentleman except he's also such a jock and a frat boy extraordinaire, mixing in his intense chip-on-his-shoulder redshirt qb with a whole new team, his intense focus on winning a cup and proving himself, and also. absolute distraction in the form of one omega wide receiver who's so fucking loud and distractingly pretty and keeps smiling at him like that and sorry okay for staring dead eyed at you you get freaked and defensive but come. on. really? like he's struggling here and he's not saying its ja'marr's fault he's literally just breathing but fuck does joe really not come across as anyone he'd consider as someone to spend the rest of his life with?? as a partner. as a bonded pair.

joe, who doesn’t give a shit what his partner's designation is, he knows what he likes he knows what he wants but right now he’s just trying to focus on this sport he's given his all in. sure he's all down for any love coming his way he's not really planning on actively searching for it but. well. and wow okay he’s all for that ofc but he didn’t think that it would come in the form of his newest teammate who’s kind of fucked up over the whole alpha thing huh okay.

'he knows what he likes what he wants' and ja'marr? ticks every fucking box. -> he sees ja'marr being so free with who he is (later learning the hidden bits! the insecurities! the vulnerable parts ja'marr finally unclenches to let him see and joe's just on his knees for him at that point no way or want to turn back), unapologetically fiery and unbending, but also so so sweet. who enthusiastically busses the cheeks of all the little siblings who hang around the training field. who’s picky with his affections on certain things but completely incapable of not fretting over anyone with a hurt knee or shoulder or skinned elbows. who once yelled at him from across the field to quit throwing it so short the fuck is wrong with him use your fucking biceps right before running leaping laughing to him yelling good shit jay-beeeee the next minute after he catches an absolute beautiful deep ball and brings it home during a walkthrough of a new scheme. literally smitten is what I'm saying.

and on the other side ja'marr is all acting haughty and bristly at joe over his own insecurities 😔 absolutely unknowing how taken joe is with him in spite of all his own hang ups over not being 'an accommodating omega' while somewhat emotionally stunted joe of the 'incapable of showing his true feelings so he's just staring' variety struggles to court him through his own hang ups of not being a good enough alpha over ja'marr's loud exclamations of 'never fucking an alpha' and the looming and inescapable Insane Ambition and self-given sword of damocles over his head of playing perfectly and winning a natty (the ambition which ja'marr matched beat for beat btw. and that's just soooo sooo compelling to joe it kills him and fires him up inside when he sees ja'marr's eyes get as piercing as his when he runs routes and slams away dbs).

basically BOTH dumbly thinking the other is unattainable because of their own issues and they won't fucking TALK about it ugh.

also: the idea of going through their heats/ruts with the other no strings attached (but also not no strings attached bc they really do want to be attached in literally every way possible so the thought of them offering it in a casual 'just scratching an itch' thing would possibly end their life as they know it) is always in their minds but they've never once brought this up with the other because for the ACTUAL important real life shit they've never been good at communicating with each other like at all. why take the risk. why try to break their own hearts even worse than they already are doing.

BUT they're soooooo close to the point of having each other's ruts/heats on each of their calendar 🤗 casually mentioning ‘fuck my pelvis is killing me.’ ‘its the 24th isn’t it? your heats near. i got a heating pack in my locker. wait it's charged just let me grab it for you.’ and ‘im taking the week off.’ ‘oh your rut right? ready holed up good?’ ‘yeah just by myself again.’

like there’s services for heat/rut partners right. that they've recommended to each other 😭 and while it helped with the physical and animalistic levels of their heats/ruts it doesn’t completely help at all and makes it worse when it's all over. it feels wrong because the alpha/omega part of their brain knows exactly what it wants but their dumbassery is stopping them from claiming what’s theirs or some shit idk.

lending each other their used jerseys/undershirts/tees to help through the other's ruts/heats for comfort 😀 a concerning collection of it in their homes and given back with literally no mention of it because they’re STUPID okay they’re stupid men with stupid hang ups pulling themselves back from being with each other.

ALSO OKAY SO one of my favoriteeeee things about omegaverse is the scentssssssss ARGHHH love that shit to death. i have no idea what type of cologne they wear can't think of making anything up rn :(( i think ja'marr said his favorite scent was mahogany no?? non traditional omega scent etc etc. just thinking of ja’marr learning film study with joe from their little ipad and tucking closer together to see the little people in the screen better only to be hit with each other’s scent and unconsciously breathing in deep before freezing bc wait no is that weird except nobody notices the other doing the same thing bc they’re stupid.

feel free to decide how they get together lmao probably on accident tbh

i wanted to add a bit of omegas!bayou trio :)

right. so. imagine omega!bayou trio breaking records left and right (and also breaking HEARTS left and right) where people have been absolutely belittling them bc of their omega status and that burns them except they're so fucking GOOD so they spit right back at all these entitled pricks calling them all kinds of stupid shit.

joeeee beautiful perfect princess joe with the snaggletooth and chubby cheeks who's slowly building into his joe ice persona and bulldozing through with his cocky exterior! people think he's the perfect southern belle of an omega until clips of his qb training comes out and they reel back because he's literally throwing down with the o-line d-line guys, all his shit talk, all his stomping around, all his scrambling forcefully through defenses, etc etc (lsu purposefully releasing this to get the pushier traditional 'fans' to back the fuck up from him).

justin and ja'marr peacocking to the cameras (shamelessly when theyre together, but weirdly shy as hell when theyre alone. people eat this shit uppppp). (more on this below)

the rest of the oline and roster being overly protective of their trio of star omegas (not to say that there arent omegas in the o or d line!! oh my god imagineeeeee my brains melting BUT like. hierarchically. those three the big dogs. if i were more knowledgeable of the rest of their roster like terrace or clyde or pq or delpit i would totally add shit but :( idk them :(()

if it were alpha!joe with omegas!jjmarr!!!

everyone and their thrice removed foreign cousins burning in jealousy over any part of the trio 😭

how dare these two omegas bag THE hottest cfb quarterback alpha currently. what the fuck is this perfect fucker of an alpha who's all look at me i have luscious flowing hair and gorgeous blue eyes and perfect winning record and insane football iq doing with not just one but TWO gorgeous talented omegas?? fuck right offfff

no they aren't together really BUT jjmarr laughingly jokingly playing into the images the media and public force upon them because they know joe and they trust him so this piece of casual close comfort between these three that people seethe over jealously is literally because joe has proven to them that he isn't like any other pea size dick brained alphas.

joe backing them up when these two are acting up (like a little wear whatever you want babe i can fight thing you know) and they let him 'fight for their virtue' or some shit bc they love him and literally him and a select few of their lsu teammates are the only ones who can even begin to act like 'traditional alpha protectors' for them because they know they aren't condescending about it!!

pretty perfect omega justin who knows when and what to say the perfect things, flirts outrageously with everyone but also ruthlessly tells pushy alphas to fuck off and then punches their throat when they get uppity. pretty unconventional omega ja’marr who flashes wide smiles with squinty brown eyes and people fall over themselves trying to make him laugh and then stumble back in fear when they get too overly familiar with him etc etc.

(and i know i said they aren’t actually together!! BUT IF THEY WERE GRAH jjmarr tag teaming joe 😔 putting him on his back and fucking him themselves and joe being completely pliant about it 😔😔😔 completely at their mercy on the sheets and happy about it 😔😔😔😔😔 a little insane power trip for ja’marr and jj)

a bit of koc/jj omegaverse too hehe bc how could i not - (tw - mentions of sa)

perfect omega jj whos downright fucking smitten with his alpha coach who's as touchy with him as he is with everyone else so he can't tell if koc actually likes likes him that way or if he's just. like that. justin as flirty as he is and all pretty eyes and pretty smiles and pretty laughs and absolutely blooming like a sunflower right to the direction of a can't-take-his-eyes-away koc.

one random new teammate acquired on waiver or whatever leering too heavily at justin during practice and maybe he's a cornerback literally plastering himself all over justin and grabbing at his ass during walkthroughs and justin just fucking slams his elbow back to his face and breaks his nose and cheekbones and koc is instantly there flinging them away from each other. the rest of the vikings converging over the guy while koc is on justin fretting hands all over him frantic alpha brain protective haze and when justin grabs his hands by the sides of his face staring wide eyed back, their eyes right on each others' the only thing calming both of them down. justin breathily says he's fine. koc then hauls himself back towards the guy and the rest of the players automatically part away for him and boom koc rips him apart and the only one who can calm him is justin ARHGHHHH i wanna write koc/jj so badly 😭😭

in the end justin's getting his elbow tended but he’s dead quiet thinking fuck fuck fuck that just happened and then focusing more on what koc did. he knows what that means. what koc reacting like that means. a teammate (jordan?? i have no idea what the vikings player’s roster and dynamics are like :() comes to sit by him when left to themselves by the medical team. says that that wasn't justin's fault at all obviously but it had to be said, what would happen to the guy (gone forever never to be seen again), that practice is being cut short but the rest of the guys won't leave until they see him physically all right so they're holed up in the locker rooms antsily waiting to see him, and that koc is on the other side of that door unable to leave but also unable to enter the room at all. and then silence. before a cautious ‘about koc’ and justin tells him to shut up he can’t do this he's shaking he can't do this.

struggling to keep their bond (not to be confused as Bond which would be. Scandalous.) exactly as it is but something calls them towards one another like crazyyyy

and there’s more that could be explored!! beta ja’marr with a chip on his shoulder and beta joe screaming fuck you to the rigid norm of alpha or omega quarterbacks (but i fear alpha/omega is sooo it for me so). tee whom i adore to death -> maybe non traditional alpha teeeeee argrhrghhh doting the ever living shit out of omega ja’marr and joe, or omega tee who literally has the entire locker room wrapped around his finger etc etc

[omniblades-and-stars]

Nightclubs and Garden Sheds

Commander Shepard wakes up in a garden shed. It's not the worst place she's ever turned up. Thank you @capt-biglou for helping me name this guy and also for the tree cum joke (and letting me use it). You rule. CW: Alcohol, one night stands, and like the mildest sexual content. Like it doesn't even count if you ask me. It's not explicit in the slightest.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

BEEP BEEP BEEP

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"I'm fuckin' getting it, I'm getting it," Frankie groaned as she reached to hit the snooze button on an alarm clock that was not there. Instead, her hand collided with the aluminum handle of a shovel. "Hm, what the fuck?" she murmured sleepily.

"Oh, sorry, that's mine," a distinctly turian voice mumbled in her ear, warm breath blowing unruly wisps of her short hair so that they tickled against her skin.

Frankie smiled and wiped a bit of unsightly drool from her mouth.

Oh, yeah.

Dark Star Lounge was way more fun when she was on her own, she had to admit. Wearing civvies (purchased during her extended shopping trip earlier that day) definitely helped, dancing in all that armor just didn't have the same charm.

Granted, she still wasn't a good dancer without the armor on, but Frankie didn't give a rip about being good at it. She just wanted to get ripped and dance the night away. Especially after that whole embarrassing affair with Massani carrying her halfway through Zakera Ward over his shoulder like she was a very angry sack of potatoes.

Anyways, she'd already gotten halfway to her goal of getting hammered and dancing like no one was watching, the bartender had kept her supplied with some asari cocktail that tasted a little to the left of pomegranate and lime ... no lemon, but kicked like a particularly stubborn mule. Now, she just needed to find someone to start dancing with.

"The usual, please," a newly familiar, and quite relaxed voice made its drink order over the din of the pulsing dance music.

Huh, maybe there was a god, and they only answered this specific kind of prayer.

Frankie shifted, leaning her forearm against the bar and turning to catch an eyeful of the groundskeeper she'd met while running hither and yon chasing the high of spending The Illusive Man's money on dumb bullshit. He was a barefaced turian with chalky white face plates, his crest was a little darker, more of a gray appearance. "Holy shit, it's you! The gardener from earlier!" Frankie enthused, pointing at him.

The gardener's focus drew lazily over to her, his dark eyes widening in recognition. His mandibles relaxed, folding out as he offered a genuine smile. "And it's you the ... uh ... woman from earlier, who asked about the fish," he responded but seemed unsure of himself. "You're a female, right? You've got those funny bumps. Like an asari." His eyes had drifted down to her chest, which in her current outfit was far more exposed than when she first met him, only he seemed disappointingly unaffected by the appearance of her cleavage.

Frankie's hand flew to her mouth to prevent the sip of her drink she'd just taken from spraying all over the poor man as she laughed. "Yes, I'm a woman. And they're fucking called boobs, or breasts if you want to be technical, tits if you want to be crass. I prefer tits." She stuck her dry hand out for the turian to shake. "Name's Frankie."

The turian groundskeeper took her hand with a firm, but gentle, grip. "Milon."

Frankie shifted, rolling from her belly until she was facing her bed-mate. Well... it wasn't really a bed they were laying on. It was more of a nest built on the floor of a glorified garden shed using cargo blankets for cushion and warmth.

She didn't mind. Frankie had woken up in worse places than a well organized storage building. At least she remembered how she got here.

Milon fiddled with his omni-tool, squinting at the too bright light as he turned off his alarm.

"You know, I'm still not convinced that you don't just live here and the lounge," Frankie teased and tapped the flat bridge of his nose.

The turian chuckled. "I tried to take you back to my place, but you insisted on "learning" about what a horticulturist does."

"Ha." Frankie grinned. "Yeah, I can be pretty insistent."

"Yeah, I'll say."

An hour and two more drinks had somehow passed by and Frankie and Milon were still talking. First about their favorite alcoholic beverages (Milon liked quarian booze, said it was incredibly strong, making Frankie very jealous that she didn't have any, or couldn't have any, anyways.) And they'd already compared pictures of their favorite flowers (with Frankie obstinately declaring that buttercups were far superior in every way la-la-la she wasn't listening to any arguments otherwise.)

"Okay, okay, there's something I've always wondered," Frankie began as she stirred her drink with a tiny, red straw.

"What's that?" Milon asked, raising his drink to his mouth.

"So, when the plants are blooming and all that pollen's in the air, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we just walking around, getting coated in tree cum?"

Milon sputtered and choked. Frankie slammed her open palm against his back as he fought valiantly to clear his throat. "Why would you think that?" he finally managed to ask his disbelieving question through confused laughter.

Frankie's mouth settled into a devilish grin as she finished off her drink, sucking it up through that ridiculous little straw. "What? It's how trees propagate, isn't it? It's a perfectly natural question!" She was shit a feigning innocence. She also wasn't trying very hard.

"No it isn't!" Milon rubbed his forehead and sighed. "I'm never going to be able to get that out of my head now," he complained.

Frankie gave him a spirited nudge with her elbow, nodding towards the dance floor. "I know how to take your mind off it. Let's dance!"

He shook his head rapidly back and forth, horrified. "Oh, no. No. First of all, turians don't dance. Second of all, you have those funny bumps-"

"Tits."

"Funny bumps," he continued stubbornly, "that get in the way."

"Two things," she started and raised a finger. "One: Don't lie right to my face, there's turians dancing right over there. And two: My tits do not get in the way, I'll prove it."

Milon's attempt at dissent was silenced as Frankie grabbed his arm and mercilessly pulled him to the dance floor.

As nice as it was waking up with her memories intact and after a night of fun, Shepard really needed to get back to the ship. She was probably late for something or other, no doubt Lawson would be waiting for her in the docking terminal tapping her perfectly shined boots on the deck.

Eh, maybe she would take her time getting ready to go.

Now, where had her pants run off to?

Frankie scanned the area, assessing the damage (a shattered terracotta pot on the ground, a bucket full of handheld gardening tools spilled all over a work bench) and - oh! There they were! Black leather pants hung inside out off the prongs of a very large rake there in the corner, or she thought that was them. It was quite dark in there.

She stood up to go stumble after her clothes and tripped in the tangle of blankets and spurred legs still on the ground. "Shit!" she shouted and managed to catch herself on the workbench before she went ass-over-elbow to the ground. "Mind if I get the light?"

"Be my guest, switch is over there," he pointed toward the door, at a panel she could only barely make out in the dark. "Watch for shards of that pot, I think we swept all of the pieces up into that corner, but I would hate for you to get cut up."

"Aw, thanks," Frankie cooed as she navigated over to the far wall. Blindly she reached out until her fingers brushed over the light switch. "One, two, three, let there be light!" she crowed as she hit the switch, leaving absolutely no time for anyone to prepare for the sudden bright.

Milon threw his arm over his eyes. "You're bad at giving warnings."

"Pretty good at other stuff, though," she countered. Frankie plucked her pants off of the rake, careful not to tear them with the prongs. "And I have a rockin' bod to boot, so it balances out," she added, wiggling her eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"Oh, so you're like this sober?" he teased.

Frankie snorted, "All day, every day, babe. It grows on you." She kicked the corner of a blanket over and looked around the floor. "I'm pretty sure I was wearing underwear last night. Do you remember what happened to them?"

Milon sat up and pointed sheepishly towards the workbench, where her boots lay discarded on the ground. "You stuck them in your shoe so you wouldn't forget about them."

Score one for drunk Frankie. That was brilliant of her.

"Thanks," she said and retrieved the article from deep within the boot. She'd really crammed them in there. "You know, usually my morning afters are embarrassing." Mostly because she dreaded waking up next to a stranger (but thoroughly enjoyed having sex with them on occasion,) and she made it a point to scurry away before waking up in a stranger's bed was ever even a risk.

Milon yawned, stretching his arms high above his head. "And this morning after?"

Looking up from her struggle to get into her underpants, Frankie shrugged and said, "Genuinely pleasant, relaxing?" Unhurried, despite the need to get back to her ship before the crew called a manhunt, having assumed that she'd gone AWOL or something.

"And the night before the morning after?"

The workbench collided with her ass, no, the other way around. And as she splayed her hands behind her to steady herself, she knocked over a plastic bucket full of trowels and those little hand-sized garden claws that she didn't know the name of. Mini-rakes or whatever. "Oops," she muttered, but quickly lost interest in the tools or apologizing for making mess in favor of putting her lips back on that turian gardener's strong, muscular neck.

Milon didn't even bother chastising her. He was busy with his own exploration. The way he touched her was different, but not bad, like at all. He ignored her boobs entirely, like he forgot they were there (a shame really, she would be the first to tell you that she had awesome tits.) But she'd gladly trade the clumsy drunken pawing at her chest that she was used to for the way he traced the lines of her neck and the muscles on her arms any fucking day.

And when the clothes finally came off?

Well, that patience (maddening) and that competence (also maddening) carried over to arenas that had nothing to do with gardening and everything to do with giving a woman who wouldn't shut up something good to scream about. (And it only took a little bit of directing on the front end. He was a quick study.)

Frankie couldn't quite remember when the pot fell over and shattered on the ground, probably around the time her knees were almost up around her ears. She definitely couldn't remember the last time someone had folded her up like an accordion like that.

Fucking worth whatever cramps she was going to have from her little tabletop gymnastics venture when she woke up in the morning.

Frankie offered him a wolfish grin. "Now who's looking for an ego boost?" she accused. She made the world's slowest effort to get her pants back on. "You performed with gusto and I don't regret it," she assured him cheekily.

"Oh good, I wouldn't want to be an embarrassment."

"Not even close."

The pair of them finished getting redressed, and Frankie even helped Milon clean up. Once the cargo blankets where folded up and stashed back on a high shelf, the pot shards deposited in a waste bin, and the hand tools (Milon helpfully informed her that the rake thingy was called a cultivator) put away, Frankie leaned in and gave him a little peck on the cheek. "It's been fun but I've got to go. I'll send you pics of cool plants if I see any."

"I'll hold you to it. I hear they've got beautiful flowers on Illium, since you're going that way." His eyes lit up at the prospect of exotic, non-native plant species,and he pulled up his omni-tool interface so he could add Frankie as a contact.

As Shepard left the storage shed, she called back, "Let's go dancing again soon!"

"Can we just do lunch instead?" Milon pleaded with her.

"We'll see!"

She would get him to go dancing again or her name wasn't Francine Frankie Lydia Shepard.