#it's just... *sigh* you'll see
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Thinking about waiting for Ghost to be ready for a relationship (kind of continued from this post
(Kinda angsty, self doubt/depreciating thoughts)
When you ask 'What are we?', he panics. He doesn't know. He isn't ready to be a boyfriend, to meet your parents, to open up about his life-
His internal monolog is interrupted by your hand on top of his own. He hadn't realized how anxious he must have appeared- sweaty, hands trembling, shallow breaths, the works. He felt like he was being strangled, and all of this was over a simple question. Why did he ever think he could do this?
You tell him it's okay. You tell him you don't need an answer now if he's not ready. You say that you're fine with the way things are, and if he isn't ready to move forward yet, you'll wait for him.
You tell him you'll always love him regardless.
The world might as well have stopped spinning, because you love him?
He wants to tell you he loves you too, but he's scared. He's still waiting for you to leave. For him to lose feelings. For this to all have been a huge waste of time, or for you to realize you deserve better as soon as he confesses how he really feels.
For a split second, he thinks about leaving. About ghosting you. Maybe even breaking up with you- but that would require him to admit there was something there in the first place. It felt like you had snaked your way around his heart and were squeezing with all your might.
God, he couldn't imagine himself without you. He felt like a fool, naive and childish all over again. Why were you so patient with him? Couldn't you see there was something rotting inside of him?
Once again, he's dragged out of his mind by your presence. You look worried. He can't fathom why you would be worried about him. Nonetheless, he squeezes your hand in return. A simple gesture, but it means the world to you. You know he's trying. You know he's fighting with himself and losing half the battles.
You're determined to win the war.
#*sigh*#I think he'd accidentally be a little bit toxic at times#You won't get proper answers or communication for a long ass time#But he really does love you#He just doesn't know how to do all of *this* yet#He's a complicated guy#So much trauma fucking with the way he sees the world (and you)#And autism can make communication/understanding cues difficult sometimes#I think a relationship with him would be challenging and rocky at first#But you'll get there eventually#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x gn reader#gn!reader#simon ghost riley x reader#Mmm this would be great as a fic but all my wips are still rotting in my notes app#Just wanna throw this out there ig
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kudos don't determine worth
#such Opinions on the internet today#you and your writing are so much more than a number!!!#unpopular opinion but I'd like a site without stats at all#I know I know - I'm a writer too I get it#but imagine if you didn't go in with that bias#and could just select something because it sounds neat#I prefer that to people asking when a fic is 'good enough' to read#fandom#oh btw there's a post about this making the rounds#you'll probably see it at some point#just...sigh.#those posts
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A blast to the past 😏
Fanart for the amazing @that-cool-guy! Your comic is srsly so funny, so I made you this ❤️
I know that Rhonda was also scared when they got sucked into that giant worm time traveling thingy. But I thought it would be 10x funnier if she was having the time of her life while JD screams like a baby LMAO
But yee, that's all. Hope you like it :3
#Had a fun time doing the colors#also idk if you can see it but if you zoom in you'll see skulls in JD's eyes LMAKO#LMAOO#Bro thought he's literally going to die lol#well fortunately for you JD. You're going to live! yayyyyy#your just (probably) stuck at the past lol#trolls#dreamworks trolls#john dory#trolls au#trolls john dory#tbt#trolls band together#rhonda trolls#fanart#Tumblr literally butchered the quality of this pic#sighs 😔✊
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LITTLE MOMENTS WITH JAEHYUN, FROZEN IN TIME // HORIZON
#jaehyun#jung jaehyun#nct#nct 127#nctinc#itsnctsworld#jaehyunedits#nctedits#cee.edits#might make gifs later we'll see#but i loved so many lil shots they had#i wish these moments were longer but also i think it's so beautiful#how one shot can mean so much#a moment truly frozen in time and you don't want it out of your grasp#and you'll try to remember it forever#and it's bittersweet because you know you can't#but you try your hardest#also jaehyun is just so !! sighs
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At some point you're gonna come home to your little apartment tired from work, but you'll end up laying down next to the most important girl in the world to you. Your cat is going to come in, make a little huff, and plant her back up against one of your beloved's legs.
And then you'll remember just how much you wanted this. How much you dreamed of it, and how you had imagined so many small things that ended up happening, like the cat cozying up to you. There will be other small things that will catch your senses - Someone moving into a neighboring apartment, cars racing down a nearby street, the familiar smell of your lover - that you hadn't considered in your dream. All of this is a bit new to you since maybe you were unable to leave your family earlier, but the sense of a world and community out there, mixed with having your whole world in your arms, is exactly what you had dreamt about for so long.
Over a decade and a half of you thinking that a situation like this would be impossible, that you'd be stuck in a body you loathed, and either alone or unwanted. So many years stuck in survival mode, so many people who pushed you down or away, but you had a dream you'd get to feel so loved and adored. You read about others surviving for so long, and you read about them getting to this dream you had.
You're just so happy you got there too.
#Luna came up to Maxine and flopped down like she does for me at night and it just hit me so hard#Maxine is fast asleep and I just hear a little kitty sigh as I see her cuddle up to the first person that isn't me#and it reminded me just how much I cried and cried either praying or pleading or wishing I'd have a situation#Where its me and my wife and precious little cat are all cuddled up on a bed#and I just broke#Life can be so lovely sometimes#Its finally my turn to feel like I can say 'You'll get there some day'#This feels cheesey but I already wrote it so what the hell I guess#I love this beautiful girl next to me and I think I'm learning to feel alive again#;;w;;#Like there are so many problems happening in my life rn but this??? At least I have this.
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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upsides of writing: having fun! writing scenes! figuring stuff out!
downsides of writing: oh my god i've used that phrase like 4 times already. stop it
#take a drink every time someone nods sighs or presses something or someone against something.#no don't you'll destroy your liver.#i can just. fuckin. always see the patterns and now i feel like it's being painfully repetitive lmao#i'm dying#i feel like i'm not adept enough at body language#so people just cycle through the same four movements over and over again. i can't figure out how to fix it.#it's fine. it's fine. i just. ugh. i feel like everything i write is so wooden and Bad. i'm suffering#it's fine it'll be fine i just want to be Done but i still have So Many Pages left#writing woes
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my favourite tumblr feature is if you take too long to type or whatever on an nsfw post that you are going to label correctly, it will simply eat the post anyway
#thanks tumblr i love you too#sigh i guess you'll see it in a few hours it's fine#i usually get around it by uploading the image last because sometimes. you gotta ramble in tags it's just how it is#but i forgot.
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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something i thought about after giffing the my time performance yesterday? the way everyone treats it like a thirst trap (ya'll think i don't see your tags when you reblog the set but i do) plays into the exact commentary it's trying to convey, and that's really sad tbh
#yes i think about this song a lot#i told you no one else loves it to their core as much as i do#i digress the point i'm trying to make is it's tragically interesting to see the subtext being proven right#is he hot af? yes i'm not blind as we all know#but i highkey dislike how people place such an emphasis on it#as if that's the only thing of note about him#the ick indeed#although in the case of this performance? the choreo/outfits play into the idea/persona the public has of him & also what's expected of him#the mots series much like the lys trilogy toys with the idea of perception (be it of yourself or through the eyes of others)#how in order to find peace you must accept how you see yourself and that you'll never be seen by people in the way you want to be seen#and this is such a brilliant addition to the larger narrative of the mots: 7 album#i repeat it's not suggestive at all in fact it's- yeah you get it if you get it#i guess i wish people understood that instead of just looking at it from a surface level#deep sigh#steph.text
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honestly reading fanfiction is kind of fun not even on like the level of eating junk food i just really love to see unskilled writers with their natural inclinations and quirks
#not trying to be looking down on fanfiction writers or say theyre all bad but unskilled doesnt mean bad. like its all informal yk#no editors or anything. its interesting seeing what people can and cannot generally do#you'll have people who can generally write with a lot of natural flow and fine grammar who also cant keep their tenses straight#but the errors are pretty easy to skim over. meanwhile you have people who can understand structure but not punctuation#idk i just like to see the variety. i also like to guess how old writers are. and of course i will be very analytical of the decisions#idk its both junk food and its a lot of interesting stuff for me to think about#i wish criticism was accepted at all in fanfiction communities i really have no desire to write any myself but i will pick yours apart#any day of my lifeee lol. might be mean though sooo 🙄 sigh
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will we see some wymack abby and kev content soon? i love them so much
oohhh I do too, anon! I'm sorry to say they don't have much of a role in this fic (darkest before dawn) but they'll be heavily featured in Part 3. (So stay tuned!)
Love me some good old dadmack, Kevson, and pseudo mom Abby! Thanks for the ask, anon!
#If I could fit them in this part I would#they definitely deserve more screentime#sigh#just be patient niknak#you'll see them soon#david wymack#abby winfield#kevin day#A Falling Star#aftg#all for the game#my writing#fic asks#lovely people
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GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION *is covered in blood*
#if i fail at creating something cool looking for the hashtag girl competition you'll have to excuse me. i'm sorry in advance#you'll see i'll end up just posting random screens of their faces. sigh
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...
#..i hate to say it#but im really glad Tumblr user vigilskeep is out here Lucanisposting so much and like#showcasing exta depths of appeal tec#*etc#bc overall i think he's sharing the dead last spot with Harding for me 😭#and at least with her it's mostly me not liking any of the post inq lore and sort of sighing at the story (neutral)#with him i just... find him really underwhelming 😭#like my worldstate being- crow- abomination - and then getting handed a CROW ABOMINATION#but he doesn't hold a candle to either of them 😭 just sort of sucks#and ship wise... IM SORRY. IM SORRY. I WANTED TO LIKE IT BUT.. Neve is too good for him. she deserves so much better#than essentially a death warrant#and i don't even see Lucanis and Davrin at all they feel far too lukewarm to either fit a rivalry OR a general romance dynamic#and i feel so bad for saying all of this bc i do like spite. and lucanis when he's allowed a personality outside of coffee#but then even that final line in the endgame of him romance read to me like they were trying to recreate Zev's so badd#you'll never match up to a declaration of marching into the black city itself when that actually felt like impossible odds within the world#give it up#sighhh i don't know#i think his character overall really needed.. SOMETHING more. there's repressed and then there's “my writer got laid off and it shows”#such a love hate relationship with this game#which dont get me wrong - at least the love is there which is more than i can say about inquisition#but from this to the meh dwarven lore to the sudden switch to 21st century language with Taash... i hate it hereee 😭#at least solas is gone from the narrative forever now that gives me joy#i will still have to bear seeing solas fans ( cough and weekes) hailing him a masterpiece of storytelling#when really everything he represents from the very starting concept of the Evanuris being evil in inq has been religiously insensitive -#AT BEST#extremely racist at worst#and this post that was originally about being underwhelmed by a companion the more I think about him got away from me#thinking about Solas and the gods isn't healthy for me i start morphing into anger inside out#possessed by a rage demon if you will#i shall sleep now and hope that helps maybe 😭
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doing that tik tok trend with katsuki where your bf ranks how mad he would be if another man touched you in different ways from 1 to 10...pls
the first image is someone squeezing your cheeks with one hand.
katsuki's jaw clenches, "no one would even be able to get that close to you."
you roll your eyes with a smile. "just imagine."
"then i'd blast his hand off." he blinks, serious as ever.
"you're not supposed to say what you'd do to them, you have to rank it."
he practically snarls. "one."
you laugh. "baby you have to be serious."
he cuts his eyes to you from the side. "does it look like i'm joking?"
"you have 10 things to rank, babe. i guarantee you that's not the worst thing you'll see."
he mutters to himself, "why did i agree to this." he sighs. "fine, four."
second, someone giving you a massage.
you swear, his eye twitches. "i'd break both his arms."
"that's not––"
"don't care." katsuki says matter of fact, adding his own rule to the game. "three."
third, you sitting in someone's lap, facing them.
he turns to look at you, offended.
you laugh, "why are you looking at me like i actually did it?"
he rolls his eyes. "tch, i'd break his kneecaps." he crosses his arms. "fucking one."
you sitting on someone's shoulders.
he runs a hand over his face in disbelief. "i'd knock him out, there's no way. why the fuck?-" he shakes his head. "two."
you stifle a laugh.
someone giving you a bath.
"immediately fucking no."
"katsuki-"
"they're all one, fuck it. we're done with this dumbass game."
#i just think this would be so funny#bakugo#bakugo x reader#bakugo fluff#mha#mha x reader#katsuki bakugo
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Athena: Odysseus is just a really good guy. He's so smart and brave and funny and--
Ares (sighing loudly): I get it!
Athena: If you got to know him, you'd like him too.
Ares: You've been talking about him for FIVE HOURS! At this point, I do know him!
Athena (crossing her arms): You'll see what I mean one day.
(After "one day")
Ares (beside Athena's infirmary bed): Oh my gosh, Athena! You should have been there! He started stabbing Poseidon like (acts it out) and Poseidon was all like "Stop! Ah!" and Odysseus was all like "You never stopped!"
Athena (smirking): Told you that you'd like him.
Ares (gently smooshing her with a pillow): You didn't say he was violent. You should've led with that.
#epic the musical#greek mythology#epic musical#vengeance saga#epic the vengeance saga#epic the musical vengeance saga#jorge rivera herrans#epic athena#epic odysseus#epic ares#epic poseidon#Ody has a fanboy#he's already had a fangirl#two cheerleaders now
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