#it's just. I DON'T BELIEVE HE KNOWS I ACTED FOR OUR GOOD!! I'D SAVE HIM ALL THIS SUFFERING IF I COULD!!!

[cheshiresense]

Your latest time-travel verse made me rewatch Kyoraku vs Starrk battle over Fake Katakura.

I have to say, over the years, I have forgotten how sad that battle is. The way Starrk mourns even Barragan's death and loses his (already small to begin with) desire to fight after it... The only reason the guy followed Aizen was because Aizen gave him... friends😭 A pack. The only reason he fought was to protect that pack. Doesn't matter if that pack consisted of some shady individuals. It was his. The first and only one he got in all his 1000+ years of existence. He had no desire to strike down his enemies - didn't kill Ukitake, proposed Love and Rose to retreat with their lives... In a way, he and Ichigo are very much alike in that sense.

Starrk was too honorable and naive and paid for that.

And Shunsui killed Lilynette😭 It is so heartrending when Starrk calls out to her with no answer...

Shunsui's philosophy, on the contrary, allows him "to be evil" in order to win. Yes, he does not like war, just like Starrk, but IMHO, "as soon as the war starts both sides are at fault" does not mean Shunsui is saying that both sides are wrong in the war and to not fight till you completely disable / kill your opponent. I think, to paraphrase, it means: "As soon as the war start, to win, both sides *will* have to be evil / There are no good people in a war because winning a war requires one to do evil things, so someone who were maybe a good person will have to become evil to win". This philosophy, basically, is "to unbound his hands" (as we say in our language, meaning when something is used to make a person free to act), a workaround that allows him to be ruthless to his opponents, despite his pacifistic nature.

Anyway, emotional rant over. I guess I just wanted to share my pain🥲 I just hope Shunsui killing a part of Starrk's soul and the only family he had will somehow be addressed between them in the future in your fic's universe. I think it's just too huge to leave out. And the only way I can see Starrk never saying anything at all to his Shunsui in TYBW timeline - is because he is THAT much of a sucker for pain and/or THAT much desperate for a genuine connection with somebody.

Starrk is just a really tragic character with a really tragic arc, canonically he was never meant to be saved or have a chance at something better.

I don't know if I'd call him particularly honourable, if only because that doesn't seem like the sort of thing he'd really think about and adhere to as a Hollow who'd spent his whole life in a place like Hueco Mundo, not in the same way a Shinigami would. I think it was more that he just didn't want to kill anyone when he'd already killed so many without ever having a choice in the matter, and now that he did, he didn't want to keep doing that if he didn't absolutely have to. He was definitely a bit naive about it because it was war, and he was up against one of the most powerful and ruthless Shinigami in existence. The moment he decided to hold back, he was destined to lose.

For Shunsui, I agree, he believes that to win a war, people have to get their hands dirty, and you can't do that and still remain "good". I also think he thinks that it's disrespectful to not do everything in his power to win, because even if that means throwing away his honour, to do anything less means risking the lives of those he's fighting that war for.

Which ties into why I personally think Starrk doesn't really blame Shunsui for Lilynette's death. I think Starrk is smart enough and similar enough to Shunsui to understand him. And why blame Shunsui when he can blame himself? He's the one who held back from the start, he didn't fight as hard as he could, he even had the chance to kill Shunsui if he'd just gone down to finish the job after shooting him instead of just backing off after disabling him, or he could've even shot him somewhere more leathal like the back of the head instead of the shoulder/chest, because at their level, which Shinigami or Hollow wouldn't survive a simple injury like that? He would've also been able to sense full well that Shunsui's reiatsu signature hadn't disappeared. So that choice is on him, and he paid for it with Lilynette's life.

I also think Starrk didn't have much conviction or resolve, I mean I don't think most of the Espada really believed in Aizen's cause, they just followed him for more power or because Aizen tricked them or forced them, and prob with a side of hypnosis to pave the way. So Starrk didn't even have anything concrete to believe in and fight for aside from a debt he felt he had to repay, and that was quickly wearing away when he saw how Aizen didn't give a shit about them.

So overall, he went into battle against Shunsui without any desire to fight or kill because he thought he didn't really have anything he wanted enough to fight for, right up until he lost Lilynette and realized that yeah he did have something precious to lose after all. In contrast, Shunsui was fighting for Soul Society and to protect his fellow Shinigami, and at the time, he definitely understood that far better than Starrk did.

If Starrk had survived, I think he would've understood that too, plus he just doesn't have the kind of temper that lashes out and casts blame on others due to excess emotion; rather, he has the sort of analytical mind to comprehend the cause and effect of things pretty instantly. That would all play a big part in why he wouldn't blame Shunsui for doing what he had to do to take Starrk out. He and Lilynette were one, Shunsui would've had to kill both of them sooner or later, otherwise he might as well lie down and give up, Starrk wasn't exactly an opponent he could take it easy with.

In the time travel verse here, Idk if I'd make it a particularly huge thing, because for Starrk it's been like 10+ years, I imagine he's laid that ghost to rest a long time ago even if the loss still hurts sometimes, plus it's not TBTP!Shunsui who killed her, and i think he would've hashed out the issue with TYBW!Shunsui already at the beginning. Of course, TBTP!Shunsui is bound to find out about it eventually, which could be interesting to poke at.

But in Take What's Broken (Make It Whole), it'll definitely come up sooner or later. Even if Starrk doesn't bring it up first, Shunsui will, and even if there's no blame, I imagine they would at least have to talk about it going forward.

[rotisseries]

judas' death killed people btw. judas obviously but there was collateral and it was me

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

/ book 7 spoilers

*politely grabs you by your shoulders* UEUEUEUJQKXNkxnsnnanzndnsmsmfmdmsmdm

hello... sorry... Leona rant... the guys theorizing that Kifaji stops Leona in his dream bc deeply he'd wish for someone to stop him... i think im going to cry. i wonder if him being such a bad king in his dream has to do with his own feelings- meaning he doesn't believe he'd be a good king? Idia explained that maybe Leona purposefully chose his dream to play out in a more realistic way, which would mean having consequences and such... even if it would be painful, he still went with it...

I think you had a post about this iirc, but this rlly pushes me to further believe that what Leona craves is valid recognition— people recognizing him for who he is and what he does, not idolizing him, just valuing him genuinely. I think there in reality he craves more that than the "king" title specifically— that's why the scene where Jack says that "he's not your (the shadows) king, he's our DORM LEADER" felt so special to me, bc Jack is doing exactly that. he's valuing him for being his dorm leader, a title Leona earned for himself. I think that ultimately that'd be more valuable for him than the king title itself, since one "is born" to fulfill that goal (and the whole reason he isn't king is because he was born second, again, things out of his control—) I think that's why this dream Leona isn't satisfied w having become king, bc at the end of the day he only got there bc Falena/Cheka died here. Some people theorize he pulled Scar tactics in the dream, but regardless of that, I don't think the "nature" of the position itself would satisfy his need to be seen, to be genuinely valued. BC WHAT HE CRAVES IS NOT *JUST* TO BE KING, IT'S TO BE RESPECTED FOR THE THINGS HE ACCOMPLISHED... also more proof that if he wants to help out in his country he needs to do it alongside Falena's ideals, bc apparently the only good thing his reign brought in his dream was... no more inflation 😭😭😭 which is good (guy who lives somewhere with too much inflation), but I mean... I think I'd prefer still having nature 😭😭😭

ALSO... and the way he SACRIFICES HIMSELF for Ruggie... AND THROWS HIMSELF TO THE DARKNESS... also his confrontation w his overblot feels much more... depressing? than the others'? ☹️ And and and... The line about him deciding the place he'll live in... ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ I'm in tears. Pls help.

and at the end he DID know he was dreaming, and he also suspected it before being 100% sure. so I guess our prediction was kind of right 😭

also UHM. THE OUTFIT??? AHHH URNWKDNFKSNSKSKKDKjfjwnnzdn sorry it's. the least important thing of what I wanted to say but he lOOKS SO PERFECT AHHH

[My full thoughts on the book 7 part 11 Leona update here!]

*is grabbed out of nowhere* 🧍‍♂️

NO BECAUSE I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING... dream!Kifaji is the only NPC/darkness in the dreams that didn't aggro and attack us 😭 In fact, he actively protects us and begs Leona to "wake up", continuously acting as the voice of reason the entire time... AND THEN SMILING AT THE END AND PRAISING "HIS KING" WHEN LEONA FINALLY FULLY WAKES UP... I feel like that definitely is not a happy coincidence. Deep down... some part of Leona's subconscious might have realized something was wrong, and maybe that manifested as Kifaji, the one person in his memories that could stand up to him. Not just because Kifaji is a stubborn old guy (although he is), not because he seems to be a competent mage, but because he must have been Leona's one and only friend and guardian growing up in the palace where the servants always shit talked him and compared him to his older brother. He raised Leona. He played with Leona. He encouraged Leona when his prince didn't believe in himself. He tried so hard to keep Leona from straying. He sees the goodness in Leona. He knows how intelligent Leona can be and how this can save their country. It makes total sense that Kifaji would be the form Leona's conscience assumes.

I feel like dream!Kifaji could also represent... that last shred of hope that Leona has for himself 💀 As late as book 6 of the main story, Leona states that Jamil isn't like him, hinting that while he believes Jamil has the capacity to change and be a better person, he doesn't have that same faith for himself. AND MAN, THAT SHIT WAS HEARTBREAKING OTL Then, entering his dream in book 7, we see just how deep that despair truly runs. Malleus promised everyone happy dreams, didn't he? And Leona has theoretically been given everything he has supposedly ever wanted. The crown, his kingdom, the power to enact all of the policies and laws he believes would benefit his people, wealth for his country, etc. But that has bled the country of its resources, made the people resent him--and he's still left bitter and unfulfilled, alone in the palace. This isn't what happiness truly looks like, but it sadly might be what Leona believes Sunset Savanna is destined for if he's left in charge of it. (Idia likens the dream to a sandbox game, and Leona, being the owner of it, decided to play it "realistically".) He can only become king if the rest of his family dies or goes missing. (This is even more morbid if you believe the headcanon that Leona committed fratricide and murdered/convinced Cheka to run away.) He'll achieve his goals, but at the cost of isolating himself and making himself a pariah. He and his people will starve to death. Everything he touches will crumble into sand. That's all he and his unique magic are good for, anyway. Destroying things, never creating or building them. AND HE STILL CONTINUES TO EXIST IN THIS WASTELAND, ACTING LIKE HE'S IN THE RIGHT AND LIVING IN DENIAL THAT ANY OF THIS IS HIS FAULT... while Kifaji, his conscience, his hope, is right there trying to get him to see reason.

Leona's dream was such a shock to see right after Jack and Ruggie's. The contrast between how he views himself and his rule vs how his dorm members see him and his rule is like NIGHT AND DAY. You got Jack here thinking of Leona as an upstanding and honorable dorm leader and team captain and Ruggie who dreams of a Leona who graduates and betters the lives of the entire country and the less fortunate by building schools and establishing magift/spelldrive clubs (which enhance Sunset Savanna's soft power). Then you have... whatever hellscape Leona has conjured up 😭 It's so sad that Leona pictured RUGGIE as being one of his most devoted haters too. Yeah, Ruggie sometimes complains about Leona running him ragged and how rich people have it easy compared to him, but Ruggie has never expressed this level of vitriol towards Leona before... yet in his own darn dream, Leona believes Ruggie would HATE him and try to overthrow him when that couldn’t be further from the truth. In Ruggie’s dream, he hasn’t even MET Leona before but still looks up to him for what he has accomplished and done to help the poor and the downtrodded 😭

I have mentioned before that I don't believe Leona needs to become an actual king in order to be happy (that post here!), and I think this most recent update proved my point. Jack points it out to us (in case we didn't already put together) that Leona is still miserable in spite of being gifted the crown and kingdom. Leona is still not satisfied. Even if he becomes king, he won't be satisfied. Even if he obtains everything he wants, he won't feel fulfilled. Never, ever, ever. AND THAT MAKES SENSE, because what Leona REALLY wanted all along wasn't the crown but the acknowledgement of his skills and talents... "proof" of his worth as an individual. I feel like the word "king" is thrown around a lot in regards to Leona, both in fandom and within his own dorm (Ruggie, Jack, etc. refer to him as their "king" quite often). However, it's not "king" that holds weight to Leona... it's everything that comes associated with the title. Respect, validation, love. These are all the things Leona got so little of as a child, which is why he fixates on them now. He has even expressed that he doesn't value the title of king if you didn't earn that title to begin with, which just goes to show that he wants to be able to prove himself and be seen for it. AND THE SAVANACLAW STUDENTS DO, AAAAAAAHHHAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHhHhhhHhhhhh OTL JUST LIKE JACK SAID, HE'S THEIR DORM LEADER...

As dark as Leona's dream was, I appreciate it a lot for its realistic depiction of... Leona's worse tendencies... along with a potential future under his command. I often see people claiming that Leona would be a far better ruler for Sunset Savanna than Falena is. And to that, well... I'd say look at Leona's dream and some of the points brought up in it. I don't think his rule would be as terrible as what we see in the dream, HOWEVER. The dream mentions many shortcomings of Leona as a ruler, such as disregarding traditions and refusing to listen to advisors and input from the people. This would naturally make him unpopular with the country he serves, and it certainly doesn't help that he is not amicable either. These are only a few points I brought up in my extensive post comparing Leona and Falena's ruling styles, which I would highly recommend reading. I want to stress that I am in no way saying Leona would be a bad ruler. I believe that he and Falena compensate for each other's weaknesses. This is why I feel that the best solution isn't a blanket "X brother would be better than Y brother!", but rather that they should work as a team and make the best use of each other's strengths.

adfaiifvifiaef efoubfia LEONA SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR RUGGIE I PRETTY MUCH SAW COMING 😭 Bro had to do something to make up for almost sanding him in book 2...

I really glossed over Leona's big confrontation with his Phantom in my initial reaction post, so I'd like to take the time to comment more on it here. A lot of what Leona tells his Phantom I felt was also the kind of advice he gave Jamil in book 6 (which only further reinforces the idea that he had hope for Jamil but not for himself). He dislikes people who complain about their situation but do nothing to change the circumstances... ALL TRUE OF BOTH HIM AND JAMIL. I think what makes Leona’s confrontation so different from the others we’ve seen so far is that while the others are more triumphant/telling the Phantoms how they’ve grown… Leona’s is sort of resigned? Like he still sees his negative traits (his pride, his underhandedness, etc.) and talks about how he has changed as a person but he also admits that this is his fault, that this bitterness and desire to be king will always remain will him. That’s fine—because Leona tells that darkness within himself that he’ll accept it too. (Jack does the same; his senpai are pretty awful but he chooses to accept them as they are.) I really loved that Leona swore to himself he’ll find his own throne and country… “Someday, for sure…!” It feels so hopeful after all that depressing stuff 😢 Reclaiming bis autonomy… Weh…………

asdbihabidbasdsa I still wish they had done a little more with Leona “knowing” it was a dream... Maybe making that "Kifaji is that part of Leona" more obvious or clearly stated because I feel like it could sail over people's heads? It might have also been interesting to see the blot try to suppress him like he's a feral beast that has to be kept under control 😔

DB SDABILASFIADFIAF tHAT DFUCKIBG SJHFBLADAD KING!L*ONa OUTFIT OTL TRHIS SI WHAT A MAN IN A SUIT IWiTH A HLAF CAPE THING AND SLICKED BACK HAIR DOES TO MEDFSKNLABIDBFIABIPEAFFQEIPYIBEUOF8TQEVOpfSBPsnjg 26871t9mg9qepgpeqomp9qvda bipivpada iegi THE EyE LOOK TOO ASDBLABSDSFIAFDI IT'S SCO CUn T Y AKJFHLBADGLBIHAGEIHGABIADGILBHWHICH IS REALLY WEIR FOR ME TO SAY ECUASE I USUALYL THINK THESE KINDS O EYE LOOKS ARE WAY TOO MUCH... . . ..... . . ........ . . .. . AnD TGE ExPOSED fOREHEADvv???!?!!!!!? HELLO ???!!!!!’mmcnNCCCVvV,cvvv???!!!!’nxhVahahshjwhzttTyqhwiau iTm anBEHGinG TO BE k!ssrd TOYcHEDF 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

THIS RICH BITCH IS OVER HERE IN A FANCY SU i TS 4 GOLD NECKLACES AND 3 RINGS WHILE HIS PEOPLE STARVE??????? DAMN NO WONDER WHY THEY WANNA EAT TH E RICH.

Side note: a friend pointed out that Leona's coat is basically a reused Octavinelle dorm uniform asset and, after checking... yeah, it basically is 😭 NOT THAT THERE'S ANYHTING WRONG WIH THAT, I just find it ironic because (in my own pseudo-lore) it reads like him trying so hard to be like J word and get my attention 💀💀💀 I AM AFRAID HE ATE AND LEFT NOC RUBMSN....

[blitzwhore]

Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Blitz—

Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.

Eventually everyone goes...

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.

I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.

Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.

But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.

I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.

And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!

It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—

You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.

[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]

Stolas—

Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?

I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!

You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.

Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.

I'll save us both before we grow cold.

What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.

I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...

He deserves the choice to stay or go.

So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...

Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.

What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...

I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.

I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!

[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]

[galedekarios]

I think the reason some Galemancers think the astral scene is the “lesser choice” is because you get 5 extra approval points if you choose the bed scene. Both are good! But that’s what I would think. Also, I believe the astral scene pushes him towards the crown more vs the bed.

thank you for your message, anon, and for trying to explain!

however, i think there's some confusion and (unintentionally, i'm sure) false information here that i'd like very, very much to clear up:

a) approval points

both choices have the exact same approval points attached to them: five in both cases.

astral sea scene:

Player: I'll remind you we're newly acquainted, not newlyweds. Gale: Then we'll start writing the prequel. Gale: What do you say? Player: I think that sounds delightful - but I don't see a bed. ['Gale 5']

old ways scene:

Player: I don't need illusions. I want the Gale standing right in front of me. Gale: Are you sure...? I could conjure up any sight that you could dream of, and a few you could not. I could use the Weave to make us feel sensations beyond reckoning. I could do more than woo you. I could wow you. Player: You don't need to impress me, Gale. I'm no goddess., FEMALE ['Gale 5'] Player: You don't need to impress me, Gale. I'm no god., MALE ['Gale 5'] Player: You don't need to impress me, Gale. I'm no deity. ['Gale 5']

you can net five approval points in the last night alive scene in other ways too:

telling gale you love him:

Player: I'm in love with you too. ['Gale 5']

2. leaning in for a kiss:

Player: Lean in for a kiss. ['Gale 5']

3. gale also doesn't mind if you change your mind during the astral sea scene and want to return to the 'real' world:

Player: It's beautiful, but it's you I want to be with. The man, not the illusion. ['Gale 5'] - Player: I want to be with the real Gale - the man, not the fantasy. ['Gale 5']

these are NOT extra points. you will ONLY get these if you didn't choose the "Player: I think that sounds delightful - but I don't see a bed. ['Gale 5']" option in the same dialogue tree i listed above to follow through to the astral sea scene, but instead return to the "old ways" scene (gale snaps his fingers and the illusion of waterdeep disappears).

4. the friendship version of the scene also allows the player to not five approval points if the player chooses to stay with gale under the stars:

Gale: Yes... but there is so much to live for, and so few moments in which to house it all.Approval_AtLeast_30_For_Sp6 Gale: Damn you. Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures... this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn't. Gale: If there is a way - any way - to save all that's grown dear to me, I want to seize it. I just cannot fathom what that might be, other than to fail Mystra and condemn the world. Gale: Stay with me, will you? I don't want to think of it any more, but I don't want to be alone either. Player: Stay with him and watch the stars in silence. ['Gale 5']

the second part i want to address because that is (again, i'm sure it's completely unintentional so no worries, anon, and/or a misconception/misunderstanding) false information:

b) choosing the astral sea scene pushes gale towards the crown

that is completely factually wrong and i felt it was important to clear that up. there is not a singular flag in the entirety of the scene's files that determines pushing gale away or towards godhood, away or towards the crown.

not one.

which makes sense because at that point in time, neither gale nor the protag even know about the crown. it's only at the end of act 2 that you find out about it, and it triggers gale's act 3 choice to pursue the crown (and godhood) or not to.

the only flags set in gale's act 2 romance scene is if you push him towards sacrificing himself or making him understand that he doesn't have to do that and that you'll find another way with him.

i've detailed that in a meta post about those flags.

if you would like to check the file for youself, you need to open "CAMP_GalesLastNightAlive_SD_ROM", which contains gale's act 2 romance scene.

the only other flags that appear in this scene are the following:

ORI_State_Partnered = False / True

ORI_State_DatingGale

CAMP_GalesLastNightAlive_SD_ROM_Event_CollateralDamage = False / True

ORI_Gale_Event_PushTowardsDeath

ORI_Gale_Event_PushAwayFromDeath

as well as the flags for approval (to determine which scene variation you get -> low approval, friendship, romance) and for karlach, as she has special dialogue in this romance scene with gale, depending on whatever or not she got the second upgrade that allows her to be able to touch.

again, my goal here is just to clear up misinformation about the scene. none of the two versions have a disparity in approval or have a 'negative' consequence attached to them in terms of flags.

what i, personally, find interesting and what i would like to add at the end of this post are the devnotes. we don't have that many in this scene, however, gale makes it clear that if you pick the 'old ways' scene - which is, in and of itself, a perfectly valid choice to make btw depending on how you rp your character, and i have two characters myself who have different ways of doing this scene - the devnote makes it very clear that gale is bowing to the player's preference.

it's not his wish. it's the player's wish.

and it's a wish that he respects to the utmost:

Player: It's beautiful, but its you I want to be with. The man, not the illusion. Gale: The old ways then. If that is what you wish, so be it. devnote: Tactful, bowing to the player's desires Gale: A small gesture towards your comfort.

all in all, i think personal preference is something else entirely, but i do think - looking at everything i've laid out here - it's very sad to see one scene painted as the 'lesser' for reasons that are factually wrong.

if ppl are interested to read a post taking on a more favourable reading of the astral sea version of gale's act 2 romance scene and want to understand why some people might prefer it, i'd greatly recommend this meta by @clericofgale. i've also talked about my own feelings (this is my personal opinion) in the tags of this post:

#i've spoken about this already but the amount of times i had to read derisive takes on the astral sea scene #because people think that making gale understand that he is more than his magic #is the same as separating him entirely from it #it does him a great disservice when it's such a great part of his life #you are romancing a wizard and a wizard comes with magic #i think it's also important to note that gale believes this is his quite possibly last night #the scene is literally titled that in the files: 'last night alive' #it's not a show it's love and acceptance and vulnerability #he is trying to share what he can and as much as he can with the person he loves in what little time may be left to him #he shows you his home and bares his soul to you in hopes you'll accept him in his entirety for who he is and the things he holds dear #when you deny him he acquiesces but he is doing so on your wishes and your comfort alone - not for his

again, thank you for your message, anon! 🖤

[notiddygothgf]

7. Behave

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ You need to behave ❞ ❝ I can try. ❞

★ c.w.: aki being a smooth criminal. (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: HI THEREEEE. im giving you some new chapter(s. yes. plural) before this week because i start my new internship and i know i will be super busy! also bc my cousin slash proofreader told me she would end her life if i didn't so. (her, just now btw: yeah. you know thats right!) anyway take this damn chapter. i HOPE YOU LOVED ITTTT i love tension i love aki hes such a sweet pea in this chapter. MORE SEXINESS COMINGGGGG AKAKAKA KEEP COMMENTING ILY ALL

★ w.c: .6.5k

shameless ; chapter index

"THANK YOU FOR COMING under such short notice," Makima began, her voice smooth and authoritative. She stood at the head of the table, her gaze sweeping over the room, which was empty save for you and her. "Today's agenda is straightforward. We have a new mission that requires immediate attention, and I believe it's crucial to ensure everything goes smoothly."

You shifted in your seat, trying to focus on her words.

Makima's eyes flicked to you briefly before continuing. "We have a newcomer joining one of our teams, specifically under the command of Captain Hayakawa."

No fucking way. You thought. There was no way – no fucking shot. Your heart skipped a beat at the mere mention of his name.

Makima continued, "While I have full confidence in Captain Hayakawa's capabilities, I believe it wouldn't hurt to have an additional layer of support."

She paused, looking directly at you. "Which is why you will be joining Hayakawa's mission alongside his team."

Before you could react, the door opened again, and the captain in question stepped in. His eyes went wide when he saw you, but he quickly masked his surprise, standing tall and composed.

Act cool, you reminded yourself. Don't be messy.

Still, it was hard to ignore him when you had spent the last week of your life replaying the memory of his lips on your skin. As if you hadn't spent all of last night and this morning anxious to see him again. Replaying the memory of his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise while you were on top of him.

Fuck.

"I apologize for the short notice," Makima said, her gaze shifting to Aki. "You will be taking on this mission with additional support to ensure its success."

Aki nodded, his eyes flickering back to you only momentarily. He couldn't stop looking at you, his expression a mixture of surprise and something else you couldn't quite place. You tried to maintain your composure, feeling the weight of his gaze. If you stayed in that room any longer, you thought you would have exploded.

"Understood," Aki said, his voice steady. So deep, fucking hell – the sound of it practically had you squeezing your thighs together.

"Good," Makima said, a small, satisfied smile playing on her lips. "You're dismissed."

You bowed, and made your exit. He followed you.

As you and Aki walked out into the hallway, the tension between you was palpable. The door clicked shut behind you, and Aki turned to you, his voice low.

"Are you busy right now? Or after this?"

You shook your head, trying to hide the slight tremor in your voice. You were so happy to see him, it wasn't even funny. "Not really. Why?"

You followed him outside, the cool afternoon air a stark contrast to the stuffy meeting room.

"There's a cafe up the block from here," He said slowly. "Wanna grab a coffee with me?"

Yes. More than anything.

"I'd prefer something alcoholic," You answered. "Or sweet. Know anywhere a girl can get a soda around here? If not, a beer would suffice."

"I'd prefer something alcoholic," you answered, a teasing smile playing on your lips. "Or sweet. Know anywhere a girl can get a soda around here? If not, a beer would suffice."

Aki smiled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Can't have you drinking on the job now, can we?"

You walked in comfortable silence, the noise of Tokyo's busy sidewalks filling the spaces between your thoughts. People moved around you in a blur of motion, but it felt like you and Aki were in your own little bubble. Aki walked side by side with you, his sword strapped to his back, the hilt glinting in the sunlight. The sun filtered through his bangs, casting dappled shadows on his face and making his features look almost ethereal.

Your eyes wandered, taking in the vibrant cityscape around you. Neon signs flashed overhead, and the smell of street food wafted through the air, mingling with the scent of blooming flowers from a nearby park. You felt a sense of contentment, an odd calm in the midst of the city's chaos.

You pulled over to a vending machine on the corner. Aki dug into his pocket and pulled out a few coins, dropping them into the slot with a clink. He turned to you, his eyes questioning. "What do you want?"

"Oh, uh..." you trailed off, glancing at the selection. "Dr. Pepper?"

He punched in the numbers, and the can clattered down into the dispenser. He retrieved it for you and then put in a few more coins to get himself a Coke.

You popped the cap, and he did the same. The crisp sound of the cans opening was followed by a hiss of carbonation.

"Cheers," you said, tapping your can against his. The impact made the soda fizz up and threaten to spill. You quickly brought the can to your lips, sucking up the overflow.

Aki licked the top of his can clean, his tongue darting out in a way that made your thoughts wander.

"It's so nice out today," you said as the two of you began to walk again, the city sprawling out before you.

"That's because I told the weather you'd be coming back," Aki replied with a smirk, his tone playful.

"Cornball." You laughed, playfully shoving him in the shoulder. The casual contact sent a thrill through you. "How have you been since we last saw each other?"

"Miserable," he answered.

You laughed at his admission. Then, when you realized he wasn't joking, you piped down.

"Has Himeno said anything about," You took a sip of your Dr. Pepper, "You know...?

"The two of us hooking up?" He answered like it was nothing, "No, she hasn't."

"No–" You sputtered, "I meant about everything else that happened."

"She hasn't texted you?" He raised a brow at you. When you didn't answer, he shrugged, "She'll get over herself."

Then, when you continued to look at him with an unspoken question hidden behind your lips, he added, "No one knows about us. Not here, at least."

Good. You thought. You wanted to keep it that way. Yet, for some odd reason, you couldn't shake the sinking feeling in your gut at the thought of other women laying their hands on him.

"About that..." You sighed. "Aki, look... I– you're a great guy, and I... it just... You understand why it can't happen again, right?"

"It wasn't supposed to happen the first time, either," He answered coolly – you stopped walking, and he stopped, too, letting the pedestrians pass the two of you by, "What?" He asked, "I think it's a little late for that, don't you?"

You rolled your eyes. The worst part was that he was right. "Yeah, but I just... I dunno, I want to be– I want to do the right thing."

Aki sighed, "Look. I would never do anything you don't wanna do. Believe me when I say that you have full control of any situation that goes on in between us. At the same time," He took a breath, "I can't sit here and lie and tell you I haven't been thinking about you every day since you left. I will never stop craving you. In fact, I'd help you break your vows again in a heartbeat. Just say the word."

You felt the heat creep from the back of your neck to the points of your cheeks. You're insufferable, you thought, Insufferable and infuriatingly attractive. 

God, I hate you. It couldn't have been further from the truth.

You began walking again. He followed suit.

"You gonna tell him?" He asked you.

You answered him without looking, "Who?"

With legs as long as his, it didn't take him very long at all to catch up to you – walking side by side like an obedient dog.

"Your husband."

The sound of those words coming out of his mouth made your heart drop. You knew he knew you had a husband, reasonably, but he had never acknowledged him verbally. Until today.

You cleared your throat, doing your best to seem unphased by him – a task that proved to be much more difficult than it seemed, considering that every time you looked into your husband's eyes, you wished they were his instead. "Tell him what?" You sipped your Dr. Pepper.

Your coworker raised a brow, deadpanning, "That you fucked your coworker."

His brazen remark made you all but choke on your soda, wiping the spilled saccharine fluid off of your lips. You were in complete and utter disbelief that he would be so open about it in public, like he wasn't at all ashamed by what he had done.

After a moment of silence, you replied, "I'll get to it. Look, we got into this... this fight before I left. It got pretty ugly. He's angry enough as it is. At the very least, I want to keep my life in Kyoto."

"Do you, though?" He hummed.

You didn't. 

When the two of you passed a flower shop on the side of the road, you pulled over, drawn to a planter full of wildflowers near the front – pink and blue and gorgeous. You reached out to pinch one of the stems between your fingertips.

"Yes," You snapped back, gaze trained on the plant. "And if you want to keep this cordial relationship going, then you need to behave. I want you to behave."

He sighed behind you – voice much closer this time, like he was right behind you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him stand to your right.

You didn't glorify him with a response. Instead, you brought one of the flowers up to your nose, giving it a sniff. It smelled fresh, as if they had just been picked this morning. It was a rare treat to find such unique flowers at a store.

You could feel his presence next to you – the warmth of his body right next to yours. The proximity was suffocating. He was staring at the pretty flowers, too. He was so close, in fact, that you felt his knuckle graze yours. You stifled a shudder but didn't move away.

His touch brought back memories of the two of you in bed together. The heat of his skin, the way he whispered your name, the intense look in his eyes.

"You murdered my happiness– our happiness. This is the end of everything, isn't it?"

"You are my happiness," He panted, licking a stripe from your clavicle to your jaw. 

"Oh, fuck–" You arched your back, eyes rolling with bliss. "Murderer–" You moaned, "Murderer!"

The knot in your stomach was about to snap. You could feel it.

"Murderer!"

"Yes–" He breathed.

"Don't stop–"

"I won't."

His finger caressed yours, twitching, as if he wanted to hold your hand.

You stared at the flowers, trying to concentrate on their vibrant colors and delicate petals, but every nerve in your body was focused on the subtle pressure of his touch – every nerve was on fire. His knuckle brushed against yours again, this time lingering just a bit longer. The sensation was electric, sending a jolt through you that you could feel in the pit of your stomach.

The world around you seemed to fade, the bustling sounds of the city and the murmurs of people passing by becoming a distant hum. It was just you and him, standing in front of a planter full of wildflowers, the air thick with unspoken words.

I missed you, You thought, but didn't say.

Your breath caught as his pinky finger hooked around yours, the smallest of connections, yet it felt like a lifeline. It took everything in you not to turn your hand and entwine your fingers with his.

He shifted slightly, his shoulder brushing against yours. The movement caused his fingers to slide further against yours, and you could feel the soft pad of his thumb tracing your palm.

Your heart was pounding inside of your chest.

He was close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from his body. He reached out and gently touched a white flower, his fingers brushing against the soft petals.

"These are beautiful," he murmured, his voice low and smooth. You could hear the underlying tension, the same tension that thrummed through your veins.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" He mused, eyes scanning your flustered face.

Slowly, rather than awaiting an answer from you, he pulled the cigarette out from between his lips, popping it between yours.

You knew it was wrong. 

But, still, you couldn't resist the temptation as you wrapped your lips around the stick and breathed in.

Just as your fingers began to intertwine, you pulled away abruptly, your heart racing. The sudden loss of contact felt like a physical ache, but you forced yourself to move.

He was fucking addictive, and you felt like you were experiencing withdrawals.

"Sorry," Aki said. For the briefest moment, hurt flashed across his expression. It was quickly replaced by that deadpan, stone-faced facade that you knew so well, like it was only a moment of weakness."I'm gonna run to the bathroom. Don't get lost."

"Yeah, okay," You breathed in response.

He hesitated for a second, like he didn't really want to go, but eventually turned and left you alone with your thoughts. You stood there, staring at the flowers but not really seeing them. Your mind wandered, drifting through the chaotic mess of thoughts that had been stirred up since you stepped back into Tokyo.

You thought about the plants, the ones you admired at the entrance with their big, green leaves. They were beautiful. Your husband would never let you bring one home.

The memory of him – of your last interaction with him – left a bitter taste in your mouth.

Your thoughts circled back to Aki. His words echoed in your mind:

It's a little late for that, don't you think?

Was he right? Had you already crossed a line that you couldn't uncross?

The conflict in your brain was overwhelming. On one hand, the allure of indulging your passions was tempting, intoxicating,even. On the other hand, you had a life back in Kyoto, a comfortable lifestyle that you knew well, even if it wasn't fulfilling.

You couldn't possibly give it all up for a man in uniform, could you?

You wandered deeper into the shop, your eyes glancing over the array of plants and flowers. The air was filled with the earthy scent of soil and the sweet fragrance of blooms. You trailed your fingers over the leaves of a potted fern, its delicate fronds tickling your skin.

You found yourself standing in front of a tall, leafy plant with broad, vibrant green leaves. It was stunning, and you could picture it in your living room, adding a touch of life and color to the space. But then the image of your husband's disapproving face flashed in your mind. He would never allow it. He hated the mess they made, the dirt that inevitably found its way onto the floor.

A sigh escaped your lips. Why did everything have to be so complicated? 

You were caught between two worlds, two lives. One was predictable and safe, the other chaotic and exhilarating. And Aki...he was the embodiment of that second life, the one that made your heart race and your mind spin with possibilities.

Your thoughts drifted to the times you had spent with him, the stolen glances, the memory of his lips like a ghost on your neck.

It's a little late for that, don't you think?

You felt a pang of guilt. Your husband didn't deserve this. He was a good man, providing a stable, comfortable life for you. But comfort wasn't everything. There was a part of you that craved more, that longed for the passion and intensity that Aki brought into your life.

Your fingers brushed against the edge of a delicate orchid, its petals soft and velvety under your touch. You remembered how Aki's touch felt against your skin, the way his fingers trailed over your body with a mix of tenderness and desire. The memory sent a shiver down your spine.

You closed your eyes, trying to focus, to ground yourself. The logical part of your mind told you to walk away, to leave Tokyo and never look back. But your heart, your traitorous heart, whispered that maybe, just maybe, it was worth the risk.

Just then, you heard footsteps approaching. You opened your eyes and turned to see Aki standing there. He was holding something behind his back.

"You ready to go?" He asked.

You nodded slowly, not knowing whether or not to feel relieved that he had interrupted your thoughts.

He nodded, understanding in his eyes. "Alright."

You were exhausted. Mentally and physically.

The two of you walked out of the shop, the unspoken tension still hanging in the air. It was as if nothing had happened at all between the two of you, and while you thought you wanted that before, you weren't so sure now.

Was it really too late to turn back?

The sun felt warm against your face, against the fabric of your Public Safety uniform that heated up beneath its rays. You took a deep breath of fresh air before looking at Aki again.

He looked beautiful in the sunlight. The golden glow hugged his pretty features – his perfect nose, the curve of his cupid's bow, the pools of moody blue in his eyes. When he was looking at you like that... he was breathtaking.

And he was... holding a bouquet out with one hand...? It looked like the flowers you had seen in the planter at the shop. Long, beautiful stems speckled with soft, pastel petals – hues of blue, pink and purple projecting from the bouquet like pretty little fireworks. Wildflowers, the kind you couldn't buy anywhere else.

You felt similar fireworks in your stomach. You didn't know which sight was more beautiful – the flowers, or him.

"Aki..." You exhaled a breath you didn't know you were holding. "What's this?"

"The flowers you liked. I asked the shop owner to make me a bouquet," He peered down at you softly, tenderly, as if his gaze could melt you like butter. "Do you like them?"

And, clearly, it could. Your expression softened immediately, and you took the flowers from him gently. "I love them, Aki. They're gorgeous," You paused, nearly saying 'you shouldn't be getting me these. I don't deserve them', but decided resisting him was hopeless, "Thank you."

He bought you flowers. He. Bought. You. Flowers. Your smile could power an entire city.

"You shouldn't have," You hummed, giving them a good whiff. They smelled even fresher than the ones you had smelled outside of the shop. "They're so fucking pretty."

He smiled stupidly, as if he couldn't help himself, "So are you."

As the two of you continued walking up the block – to nowhere in particular, at least to your knowledge – Aki began to speak again, "My roommates aren't home today. You should come back to my place. We can–"

"We're not doing that again," You deadpanned.

Aki frowned. "I was just gonna ask if you wanted to watch a movie. Have a few beers, bake something."

"I shouldn't be at your place at all," You reminded him. You would not be so easily swayed. "For any reason. Remember?"

"Not even if I make us dinner?" He tried to bargain with you. "I wanted to try something new tonight. Maybe you could try it for me. Give me some pointers, you know?"

Okay. Apparently, you would be so easily swayed.

"Alright, fine," You sighed. Pointing an accusatory finger at him, you added, "But I have to behave, Aki. You need to behave."

He only smiled at your words, swatting your hand away, "I can try."

.

You stood barefoot in the bathroom, watching yourself in the mirror. Your Public Safety uniform sat folded in a pile on top of the toilet. Aki's sweater – which he had offered you after it became clear that your afternoon rendezvous would carry on into the evening – hung off of your much smaller frame. The neckline was so wide that it threatened to slip off of your shoulder, and the sleeves fell far past your fingers.

He had given you a pair of sweatshorts to change into, too, but you couldn't imagine trying them on. At least, not when his sweater fell just above your knees like a nightgown.

And, for the love of all that was holy, the smell of him clung to the navy blue fabric. You could hardly bear to be wrapped in it – swaddled in the warmth of something you knew he wore over his own body.

You were frozen, staring at your reflection, the oversized sweater consuming your smaller frame. The way the fabric draped over you, brushing against your knees, made you feel small, almost protected. But that wasn't right, was it? You were married, and this—this was crossing a line. Crossing that line you just said you weren't going to cross a few hours earlier.

It's just clothes. Who cares if I don't wear the pants under it? It's not like I'm spreading my legs open for him.

You weren't sure who you were trying to convince.

You wanted to believe that, needed to believe it. After all, the sweater was practically a dress on you, and it wasn't like you were walking around with your ass hanging out. And the shorts? They didn't belong to you, didn't fit right. No, the sweater was good enough.

You took a deep breath, inhaling his scent once more. The warmth, the familiarity, it almost felt like a comfort you had been deprived of for so long. But you knew this wasn't about the sweater or the way it fit.

When you finally emerged from the bathroom, you knew you had taken a moment too long. You released a weak breath, trying to act casual, trying to convince yourself that everything was fine. That you hadn't crossed a line. But deep down, you knew you were lying to yourself.

It wasn't just about the sweater.

Aki was in the kitchen by the stove, donning a black sweatshirt and gray sweatpants himself. He was hunched over a pot, stirring something that smelled delicious.

You sauntered into the kitchen, crossing your arms self-consciously over your chest. "Smells tasty," You hummed.

Aki turned around, licking something off of his finger. He looked as if he was about to say something, perhaps a witty retort, but whatever he was going to say died on his lips when he saw you in his sweater. His gaze flicked down to your shoulders, your sleeve-covered arms, the smooth skin of your legs that the sweater revealed – and he looked like it took everything he had to keep his mouth shut.

His expression softened, like you made him as weak as he made you. Then, like he hadn't promised to behave a few hours earlier, a smile most scandalous snuck over his lips.

You propped your hand up on your hip, quirking your brow at him, "What?"

He shook his head, but the smile never left his face. "Nothing," He laughed quietly, "You look cute. Am I allowed to say that?"

I look cute? You thought. You look cute.

Cute was an understatement, honestly. There was a sort of domestic charm to him cooking dinner for the two of you, clad in his pajamas, black hair down over his neck and hanging in his pretty face. It was dangerous – you could get used to a sight like that, and that idea frightened you.

"No," You bit your lip, fighting a cheeky grin of your own, "But, thank you."

Reasonably, you knew it was inappropriate. Still, you figured there was no harm in indulging a little.

You left the kitchen after that, skipping into the living room of his apartment – which was so, undeniably him, with its clean blue, white and gray accents – and plopping down on the carpet between the couch and the coffee table. You pulled a blanket off of the couch and wrapped it around your shoulders. Your can of beer sat open on a coaster on the table from earlier, and you took a hefty swig of it.

The TV was on, set to a soap opera with the volume down. You reached for the remote and turned it up (like you owned the place).

"Cookies are in," Aki climbed over the couch, sitting on the floor next to you. He set two dishes on the table. "Now we wait 10 minutes."

You practically began to salivate just looking at the food. There were pieces of chicken neatly sliced on the plate, topped off with a delicious sauce that smelled an awful lot like the one you had smelled Aki making earlier.

"It's Teriyaki," He said.

You picked up your chopsticks, popping a piece in your mouth and all but moaning at the flavor. "That's really fucking good, Aki."

"Is it?" He asked, "I thought I overcooked it."

"Just take the damn compliment, Captain," You answered him (while stuffing your face full of chicken).

Aki only smiled at you. "Do you want to watch anything specific? I have one of the Halloween movies in."

"Halloween's fine," You offered, "I'd say I could go for a romcom, but I doubt you'd have one of those lying around. Don't seem like that kinda guy."

"You'd be surprised," He hummed, holding his beer can up to his lips and taking a sip, "I don't own any, but, for the record, I can get pretty caught up in those soap operas on the TV."

"Is that so?" You grinned stupidly.

He turned the DVD Player on with the remote, using his other hand to feed himself a few more pieces of chicken. It was all so sickeningly domestic that it made your head spin.

Aki set his chopsticks down on the table, turning to you after the opening credits began to roll. "Mind letting me in?" He said, nodding toward your blanket.

The thought of sharing a blanket with him had you flushed and nervous. You shook your head, "Like hell I will. Go get your own blanket."

"That is my blanket," He corrected you, shifting closer, "Now, move over, before I steal it from you."

As you scooted away, a playful grin spread across your face. "You're not getting it," you said, holding the blanket tight around your body like it was a lifeline.

Aki arched his brow, his lips quirking up in a smirk. "We'll see about that," he murmured, inching closer to you.

You squealed, trying to push him away as he pretended to wrestle the blanket from your grip. "No! Get your own!" you laughed, your heart pounding in your chest.

Aki chuckled, effortlessly overpowering your resistance. "Told you, it's mine," he said, his arm slipping around your shoulders. Before you could protest, he tugged the blanket over both of you, trapping you in the shared warmth.

The sudden proximity stole your breath away. The room fell silent, the only sound being the faint murmur of the movie playing in the background. You tried to focus on the screen, but it was impossible with Aki so close, his presence overwhelming your senses. His cologne, the remnants of his cooking, the subtle heat radiating from him—it all wrapped around you, making your heart race.

Your eyes flickered to him, and you froze. He was already looking at you, his expression unreadable, but the tension between you was palpable. The space between your faces was impossibly small, and for a moment, you thought he might—

A shrill alarm pierced the air, shattering the moment.

"The cookies," Aki whispered, his voice low and rough. He pulled away from you reluctantly, the blanket falling from his shoulders as he got up.

You watched him as he walked to the kitchen, your body still tingling from where his arm had been. He moved with practiced ease, opening the oven and pulling the cookie tray out, grabbing a spatula to flick the cookies onto a plate. The sound of a blood-curdling scream from the TV pulled your attention back to the movie, but your focus was split, your mind still reeling from the closeness you'd just shared.

Hesitantly, you moved to the couch.

Aki returned to the living room, the plate of cookies in hand. He slipped back under the blanket without a word, settling beside you so closely that your thighs pressed together, the heat between your bodies almost suffocating. You didn't resist this time, letting him claim his spot, but the tension in the air was undeniable, thick like static electricity.

You both finished your meals in silence, the sounds of the movie barely registering as your senses were tuned entirely to his presence. Each movement he made sent a ripple of awareness through you. The way his fingers brushed against yours as he reached for his drink, the subtle shift of his leg against yours—it was all too much, and not enough at the same time.

What's wrong with me today? Am I in heat?

Desperate for a distraction, you reached for a cookie and took a bite, the sweet warmth of it melting on your tongue. "This is so good," you murmured, your voice coming out softer than you intended. You held the cookie out to him, offering it like it was the only thing keeping you grounded. "You have to try it."

He turned to you, his eyes locking with yours in a way that made your heart stutter. "Okay," he said, but instead of reaching for a cookie from the plate, he leaned in. Slowly, deliberately, his gaze never wavered from yours.

You froze as he crossed that unspoken boundary between the two of you. For a brief moment, you thought he might—no, he wouldn't—but then his lips brushed against the edge of the cookie, and your heart slammed against your ribcage. He took a bite, his eyes dark and intense, watching your every reaction.

He chewed slowly, almost deliberately, before he spoke. "That's good," he murmured, his voice low, resonant with an undercurrent of something that sent a fucking shiver down your spine. He licked a crumb from his finger, a simple gesture made unbearably sexy by the way his eyes flicked back to yours.

Your hand trembled as you set the cookie down, your mind reeling from the sheer intensity of the moment. The room felt too small, the air too thick, every second stretching out as you both sat there, teetering on the edge of something that felt inevitable.

The tension was unbearable, an unspoken force drawing you closer together. Your breath was shallow, every inch of your body hyper-aware of his proximity, the way his eyes seemed to darken with every passing second. The space between you was charged, electric, as if the very air was waiting for you to make the next move – as if he was waiting for you to make the next move.

Then, before either of you could break the silence, you both moved at once – all but jumping at each other in the process of linking your lips together in the middle.The kiss was fierce, desperate, as if all the tension that had been building between the two of you finally snapped, and the sheer force of it nearly knocked the breath out of you.

His hands were on you in an instant, rough and urgent, pulling you into his lap.

It was a mess of heat and need, his lips devouring yours with a hunger that screamed, 'I missed you. I'm tired of pretending like I didn't'. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss until it felt like you might drown in it. The taste of teriyaki mingled with the lingering sweetness of the cookie, a heady mix that only drove you further into the sensation of him, him, him.

You wrapped your bare thighs around his lower back, letting him pull you closer still. With your hips flush against his, you could feel him pressing up against you – hot and ready, just like the cookies were.

It had been years since you had felt desired like this. Would it really be so bad to indulge yourself a little more?

You could feel his breath hitch, his grip tightening on your waist as the kiss intensified, becoming something almost frantic. The world outside of this moment ceased to exist; it was just the two of you, lost in each other, in the heat, the taste, the sheer overwhelming desire as you ravaged each other on Aki's couch.

You could forget about his roommates for a minute.

Wait.

His roommates.

When you finally pulled away, it was like the air had been sucked out of the room. Your chest heaved, struggling to catch your breath, as you stared at each other, the reality of what had just happened sinking in. His eyes were dark, pupils blown wide, and you could see the conflict there, the struggle between what had just happened and the weight of the unspoken words hanging in the air.

'You need to behave'.

"Aki–" You panted, gripping the inky black tresses at the base of his neck while his kisses descended down the valley of your neck. "Aki, your roommates–"

"Fuck them," He mumbled against your skin. "Missed you."

And there it was, that warm pit of desire bubbling deep inside of your gut. The feeling of being desired. Of being missed.

A shuddering moan passed through your lips when he wrapped his lips around your sweet spot, right in the crook of your neck, and applied a gentle suction.

"I told you– we can't be doing this," You said (but did absolutely nothing to stop his kisses), "Oh, God, Aki."

You felt so weak. He made you weak. You couldn't possibly resist him.

"Aren't they– Aren't they coming?" Was your next attempt at stopping the moment (despite the fact that you most definitely did not want to stop, and made that clear by rolling your hips into him like a desperate whore).

"My roommates?" He smirked, sliding off the couch and dropping to his knees to press more kisses to your thighs, your legs. He peeked up, blue eyes glinting with mischief, "No, but you can, if you want."

"We can't..." You trailed off, but, fuck, when you watched him get down on his knees to press slow, tender kisses to your calf, you really, really wondered if you could.

"We can," He murmured, voice slurred against your skin. "Right here on the couch, if you want. Bedroom works, too. But do you want me to – is the question."

Want him... to do what...?

You thought of the last time you'd had him like this. The image of his black hair disappearing between your thighs, his tongue lapping you up like he was dying of thirst.

And you couldn't help the wanton shudder that overcame you. "I do, Aki, but..."

"Say it again," He peered up at you, eyes desperate.

"I.." You swallowed. "I do– I want you to... I want you, Aki."

He put his head down, pressing a kiss to your thigh, "Fuck, say it again."

"I... I want you, Aki," You breathed. It felt liberating to say it – no "but"s or "if"s attached. Just him. You wanted him in the most primitive and feral way that you had ever wanted anyone before.

"Then let me have you again," He murmured softly. He licked a long stripe up your leg, from your inner thigh to where the sweater ended. "I've been craving it all week," He continued, throwing your earlier words back at you, "You wouldn't keep a needy man waiting, would you?"

"No," You panted. Not knowing how else to sugar coat the words – and being, frankly, too exhausted for formalities, you cut to the chase. "I need you to fuck me, Aki."

He froze suddenly, wild eyes peering into yours like he thought you would never ask. "Yeah?" He replied, breathless. "Right now?"

"Please, sir..." You teased him. "You won't keep a needy woman waiting, will you?"

"But, your roommates..." You said. "What if they come home early?"

His hands slid up your smooth thighs, beneath the hem of his sweater, where they could grip your hips. "You'll be quiet for me, yeah?"

And his eyes, fuck, his eyes – he peered up at you, half-lidded, tipsy, and enamored by you. Who knew that the Devil Hunter could have such an ability to look as if he, himself, had been possessed by a Devil?

You told yourself you would be good. You told yourself that you would do the right thing.

"Yes," You exhaled softly, like it pained you to keep it in, "Fuck, yes."

You would just... start tomorrow.

Tomorrow, You thought as he slipped beneath your sweater and pulled your ass closer to the edge of the couch, Yeah, that's it.

Tomorrow.

a/n:

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[sincerely-sofie]

Chapter 1 of Sofie Plays "Slay the Princess": The Hero and the Princess

Into the insanity.

[ Beginning ] - [ Previous Part ] - [ Next Part ]

I like that we have a little bird talon as our cursor! Fun detail. I'd like to use custom cursors in my own visual novels someday.

Awww! This line is going to come back to bite me, isn't it.

THERE'S VOICE ACTING?????? DANG IT. Now I kinda wish I waited to record myself playing through this game like a let's play... alas. We persist with a playthrough journal comprised of still images and bullet point notes :<

Asked the Narrator how a princess locked in a basement could be dangerous enough to end the world and now I just want to have a perpetual sleepover with the gal. At the very least, we can give her some company while she's down there. Right?

Asked the narrator for details on how she'd end the world and now he's calling me a sheeple. RUDE.

Question: Does the Princess have actual powers that allow her to enforce her will on others? Or is this just the Narrator being anti-princess? or anti-this-Princess-in-particular?

I INSTANTLY DISTRUST THIS MAN. He's going to gaslight me to heck and back, isn't he? He already is, I just know it.

Told the narrator I'm going to meet the Princess before I make any decisions about executions. I'm doubting myself so bad. Is he the manipulator here? Is he genuinely warning me against the Princess being the true manipulator? He sounds uber bitter and I want to know their history.

Narrator, honey, I'm glad you've got a bit you're committed to and all, but I don't want to meet someone new whilst holding the means to end them. Forget taking the blade, I'm taking my sweet time getting to know this poor woman.

Okay yeah the Narrator is 100% not a good guy. That last line made me question whether he was voicing the Hero's thoughts, but the tone he used while saying it makes me feel like he's just working really hard at applying for the role of Intrusive Thought #4 Understudy.

THESE DIALOGUE OPTIONS ARE KILLING ME. NOOOOOO DO NOT LIE TO HER WHEN YOU SAY YOU'RE HERE TO SAVE HER!!! THAT'S MEAN!!!!!

Told the Princess "Uh hi I think I'm here to slay you? Question mark?" and she responded with this:

The Narrator immediately followed up with the below. Go kick rocks Narrator. I want to at least be polite if I'm going to kill someone.

Can't decide whether the Princess is playing at the role of innocent victim or not. We operate on innocent until proven guilty laws here, though. So I'll act accordingly.

Just met the Princess and the Hero is INSTANTLY simping for her as the Narrator looks on in distaste. Straight up "HI WIFEY" nonsense. I like this couple.

Oh my word he's a dork. I love this character.

Told her about why I'm supposed to kill her and I'm 100% believing what she said. I don't care if she's going to sprout fangs and disembowel me with her teeth or anything, I adore this gal.

Oh no. She accurately read my thought process.

Okay so here's a theory: The Narrator really hates monarchies. Which is fair. But this seems very personal for him, and he keeps bringing it up, like the Princess deserves to die for the sin of her being a princess. Is this some kind of worldwide magic anti-monarchist government overthow situation? I know that's definitely not the case but I am grasping at straws to understand his motivation.

I asked her how she's been eating or drinking when I'm apparently the only person she's seen in a very, very long time, and she dodged the question, and the Narrator backed her up. This lady is 100% not human. The Narrator is itching to get me to kill her and is sweeping over what the Hero perceives as a plot hole, because from his perspective, he knows it isn't. She's not human. Jotting that down for later.

I told her that we could do the perpetual sleepover thing I mentioned earlier and I'm realizing how callous of a solution that is now that the Hero is all like "Yay I came up with smart solution! Win-win! Go me :D"

The Princess and Narrator both shot down the sleepover solution. Poor Hero.

The music just cut out. She's doing the anime mean girl thing where she examines her nails. I'm having regrets.

I'M STRAIGHT UP NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME ANYMORE, GUYS

On the one hand: I could lock her in the basement and leave without killing her with my own hands. But with the abrupt change in tone I am no longer confident that this woman isn't going to chew off her own arm like a coyote in a trap so that she can escape and do... whatever it is she intends to do. I'm not sure that's exactly ending the world. But I'm leery of it regardless. She doesn't need food or water apparently, so she likely wouldn't die if I left her alone down here, which just further cements the idea that she's going to do anything necessary to get out.

On the other hand: I could kill her directly, and try to be merciful about how I do it.

On the OTHER other hand, I could free her, but I no longer feel safe around this woman.

I've been staring at these options for so long guys I'm so worried about making the wrong choice. I know that the opening screen said there's no wrong decisions but like. STILL.

Okay, decision made. She's definitely taking the self-dismemberment route if I leave her here, and she's definitely coming after me the second she's out. I'd rather try to make this quick than go through the exceptionally frightening scenario I'm envisioning in my head. Hopefully she's nice about inevitably overpowering me in the subsequent struggle and stabbing me afterward.

Hey, you guys know how 3D horror games will use 90 degree angle blind corners in order to facilitate jump scares? I think I just realized visual novels use line breaks to accomplish the same goal, and I'm scared to progress to the next line.

SHE IS GOING TO CHEW THROUGH THAT ARM AND I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE ASAP.

I CALLED IT I CALLED IT I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT HAVING CALLED IT SOMEBODY PICK UP THE PHONE BECAUSE I CALLED IT AND NOW I NEED 911 ON THE LINE

Oh cool beans! Reality warping! Let's gooooooooo

Yeah no she's definitely got reality warping abilities. I figured that if she doesn't need to eat or drink she wouldn't be able to bleed to death after losing an arm, so I closed the door behind me... and it locked.

Decided to try and wait her out while she lurks in the shadows and now we're LARping Sans and Chara as I fall asleep.

I chickened out and entered the dark to confront her. It went very well for me!

Oh... I don't like that title.

See you guys in the next chapter! I am scared :)

[battlemaiden13]

You don't understand. I've been thinking about this exact same scenario! I've been imagining a scenario where maybe one or two people slip MC a magic drink that makes it so you can't lie. No one realized that a few others gave her the same drink until Grim mentions it. I like to think he I'd loving the drama and decided to see how far it would go. I'm picturing the culprits who slipped her the honesty drink are Black, Damien, Mikey, and Lutenant. So after the 4th drink, MC is drunk and the honesty effects stack, maybe for the whole night. I see Grim mentioning to Lo that the others slipped her the drink and Lo then lectures the whole party. Once it's out that MC can’t lie for the rest of the night, all the skeletons start approaching her one on one to ask her their question. 

I don't have questions in mind for all of them, but I do have a few. Also, no worries if you don't use any of these, I'm just having fun sharing. 

Sorry this is so long.

So here is what I've got;

Red: definitely gonna ask MC if she finds him attractive/would she ever consider going out with someone like him. (Cause he still doesn't 100% believe her when she says she finds him attractive) (our boy needs reassurance) 

Edge: Asks her if she has forgiven him for how he acted when they were first getting to know each other (I like to think that deep down, he regrets being so harsh to her at first) (this could also give them a nice heart to heart moment)

Black: Is gonna ask if she hates him. (Mother fucker will not believe her unless he knows she can't lie) (maybe he slips her some magic monster drink that makes it so she can't lie just so he can ask her this)

Orange: he will straight up ask her if she is interested in any of them. (This man has been getting so jelly lately and he needs to know) (This would give MC an opportunity to be vulnerable with him. I picture him being the first skele that she opens up to about not knowing what she wants and being afraid to fuck things up) (she is drunk so her filter is just gone)

Blue: asks her what her opinion of him is. (I see him being very laid back in the way he asks. Blue is very confident for the most part, but wants to make sure MC doesn't view him as immature or kid-like. He doesn't want her to think of him as “baby” blue)

Colt: gonna ask why she fought so hard to get to him. Why she put her life on the line to save him and why she stayed by his side when he was in a coma. (On one hand he is so in love with her and the fact that his fucking HERO came to Save him, but there is this nagging voice in the back of his head that is telling him he doesn't deserve to be with her) (maybe her answer will give him the push to finally jump the gun and ask her out)

Charm or Lust: Asks MC what her opinion on a poly relationship would be with the skeletons. (Maybe they start off talking about Lo's new poly relationship and the convo goes from there)(I feel like either of them would be the best ones to help MC warm up to the idea)

Mint: asks MC why she does….everything that she does. Why help monsters. Why work so hard to be close to so many Skeletons. Why put herself in danger to for even one of them, much less so many. (Mint doesn't understand. He has been assuming MC has some sinister motive since he met her. Mint wouldn't go out of his way to help the humans in his world, why is she doing all of this without getting anything in return. (I picture Mint going around throughout the day and just listening to people talk about MC. Looking for proof that he is right about her, bit all he hears are stories about MC helping monsters and getting hurt or putting her life at risk. Grillby mentioned how she got her arm broken defending him. Colt bragging about MC infiltrating an enemy base to save him. Hobbs talking about her work to help monsters find jobs. The stabbing. So when he learns that she can't lie. You bet he asks her, because how can she be this nice. This good. It can't be true. She has to be hiding something.) (This could finally be what gets him to start trusting her. Just like Black, he needs to know she can't lie for him to start believing her.)

And that's all I got. Sorry this was so long. I had fun writing this down. 

THIS WAS VERY HELPFUL THANK YOU!

[fool-counter]

September first, 1989, dear diary...

I believe I'm a good person

You know, I think there's good in everyone, but here we are first day of senior year

I look around at these kids I've known all my life and

I ask myself: What happened?

(Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-Eyes! Poser! Lard Ass!)

We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased

(Freak! Slut! Loser! Sh—s!)

Singing and clapping

Laughing and napping

Baking cookies, eating paste

(Bull-d—! Stuck-up! Hunchback!)

Then we got bigger

That was the trigger

Like the Huns invading Rome

Sorry!

Welcome to my school

This ain't no high school

This is the Thunderdome

Hold your breath

And count the days

We're graduating soon

(White trash!)

College will be paradise

If I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray for a better way

If we changed back then

We could change again

We can be beautiful

Ow!

Just not today

Hey, are you okay?

Get away, nerd

(Freak! Slut! Cr—le! Homo! Homo! Homo!)

Things will get better

Soon as my letter

Comes from Yale, or Duke, or Brown

Awake from this coma

Take my diploma

Then I can blow this town

Dream of ivy-covered walls

And smoky French cafes

(Watch it!)

Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze!

Ooops

Ram Sweeney, third year as linebacker

And eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick!

What did you say to me skank?

Aaah, nothing!

But I know, I know, I know

Life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray

For a better way

We were kind before

We can be kind once more

We can be beautiful

Ah! Hey Martha

Hey

Martha Dumpstock

My best friend since diapers

Are we on for movie night?

Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail

I rented The Princess Bride

Hohoho, again? Wait, don't you have it memorized right now?

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending

Martha Dumptruck! Wide load!

Kurt Kelly, quarterback, will receive a full scholarship from the University of "dude let's get wasted and light our farts on fire" he is the smartest guy on the football team

Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf

Hey! Pick that up right now!

I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?

Yes, I am, I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend?

You're a high school has-been waiting to happen, a future gas station attendant

You got a zit right there

Dear Diary

(Why~)

Why do they hate me?

Why don't I fight back?

Why do I act like such a creep?

(Why~)

Why won't he date me?

Why did I hit him?

Why do I cry myself to sleep?

(Why~!)

Students

Somebody hug me!

Somebody fix me!

Somebody save me!

Send me a sign, God!

Give me some hope here!

Something to live for!

Ah! Heather, Heather, and Heather!

And then there's the Heathers, they float above it all

I love Heather, Heather, and Heather

Heather McNamara, head cheerleader, her dad is loaded, he sells engagement rings

I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather!

Heather Duke, runs the yearbook, no discernible personality,

But her mom did pay for implants

I want Heather, Heather, and Heather!

And Heather Chandler, the almighty

She is a mythic bitch

They are solid Teflon

Never bothered, never harassed

I would give anything to be like that

I'd like to be their boyfriend

That would be beautiful!

If I sat at their table, guys would notice me

So beautiful!

I'd like them to be nicer

That would be beautiful!

I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse

And leave her tied up for the rats!

....That's not so beautiful!

Grow up, Heather, bulimia is so '87

Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather

Yeah, Heather, maybe I should

Ah, Heather and Heather and Heather

Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting

You're late for class

Heather wasn't feeling well, we're helping her

Not without a hall pass you're not. Week's detention

Actually, Miss Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass

Yearbook committee

I see you're all listed

Hurry up and get where you're going

This is an excellent forgery

Who are you?

Veronica Sawyer

I crave a boon

What boon?

Hm, let me sit at your table at lunch

Just once

No talking necessary

If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone

Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes

How about prescriptions?

Shut up, Heather

Yeah! Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast, Heather?

Sorry, Heather

For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure

And a symmetrical face

If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull I'd have matching halves

That's very important

Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds

And you know, you know, you know?

This could be beautiful

Mascara, maybe some lip gloss

And we're on our way

Get this girl some blush

And Heather, I need your brush

Let's make her beautiful

Let's make her beautiful

Let's make her beautiful

Make her beautiful

Okay?

Okay!

Out of my way geek!

I don't want trouble

You're gonna die at 3PM!

Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!

What'd I ever do to them?

Who could survive this?

I can't escape this!

I think I'm dying!

Who's that with Heather?

Whoa. Heather, Heather, Heather

And someone!

Heather, Heather, Heather

And a babe!

Heather, Heather, Heather

Veronica?!

Veronica, Veronica, Veronica

And you know

You know, you know

Life can be beautiful

You hope, you dream, you pray

And you get your way!

Ask me how it feels

Wearin' these rad ass heels!

My God, it's beautiful!

I might be beautiful

And when you're beautiful

It's a beautiful frickin' day!

Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!

Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica! Veronica! Veronica! Veronica!

September first, 1989, dear diary...

I believe I'm a good person

You know, I think there's good in everyone, but here we are first day of senior year

I look around at these kids I've known all my life and

I ask myself: What happened?

(Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-Eyes! Poser! Lard Ass!)

We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased

(Freak! Slut! Loser! Sh—s!)

Singing and clapping

Laughing and napping

Baking cookies, eating paste

(Bull-d—! Stuck-up! Hunchback!)

Then we got bigger

That was the trigger

Like the Huns invading Rome

Sorry!

Welcome to my school

This ain't no high school

This is the Thunderdome

Hold your breath

And count the days

We're graduating soon

(White trash!)

College will be paradise

If I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray for a better way

If we changed back then

We could change again

We can be beautiful

Ow!

Just not today

Hey, are you okay?

Get away, nerd

(Freak! Slut! Cr—le! Homo! Homo! Homo!)

Things will get better

Soon as my letter

Comes from Yale, or Duke, or Brown

Awake from this coma

Take my diploma

Then I can blow this town

Dream of ivy-covered walls

And smoky French cafes

(Watch it!)

Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze!

Ooops

Ram Sweeney, third year as linebacker

And eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick!

What did you say to me skank?

Aaah, nothing!

But I know, I know, I know

Life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray

For a better way

We were kind before

We can be kind once more

We can be beautiful

Ah! Hey Martha

Hey

Martha Dumpstock

My best friend since diapers

Are we on for movie night?

Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail

I rented The Princess Bride

Hohoho, again? Wait, don't you have it memorized right now?

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending

Martha Dumptruck! Wide load!

Kurt Kelly, quarterback, will receive a full scholarship from the University of "dude let's get wasted and light our farts on fire" he is the smartest guy on the football team

Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf

Hey! Pick that up right now!

I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?

Yes, I am, I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend?

You're a high school has-been waiting to happen, a future gas station attendant

You got a zit right there

Dear Diary

(Why~)

Why do they hate me?

Why don't I fight back?

Why do I act like such a creep?

(Why~)

Why won't he date me?

Why did I hit him?

Why do I cry myself to sleep?

(Why~!)

Students

Somebody hug me!

Somebody fix me!

Somebody save me!

Send me a sign, God!

Give me some hope here!

Something to live for!

Ah! Heather, Heather, and Heather!

And then there's the Heathers, they float above it all

I love Heather, Heather, and Heather

Heather McNamara, head cheerleader, her dad is loaded, he sells engagement rings

I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather!

Heather Duke, runs the yearbook, no discernible personality,

But her mom did pay for implants

I want Heather, Heather, and Heather!

And Heather Chandler, the almighty

She is a mythic bitch

They are solid Teflon

Never bothered, never harassed

I would give anything to be like that

I'd like to be their boyfriend

That would be beautiful!

If I sat at their table, guys would notice me

So beautiful!

I'd like them to be nicer

That would be beautiful!

I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse

And leave her tied up for the rats!

....That's not so beautiful!

Grow up, Heather, bulimia is so '87

Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather

Yeah, Heather, maybe I should

Ah, Heather and Heather and Heather

Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting

You're late for class

Heather wasn't feeling well, we're helping her

Not without a hall pass you're not. Week's detention

Actually, Miss Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass

Yearbook committee

I see you're all listed

Hurry up and get where you're going

This is an excellent forgery

Who are you?

Veronica Sawyer

I crave a boon

What boon?

Hm, let me sit at your table at lunch

Just once

No talking necessary

If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone

Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes

How about prescriptions?

Shut up, Heather

Yeah! Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast, Heather?

Sorry, Heather

For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure

And a symmetrical face

If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull I'd have matching halves

That's very important

Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds

And you know, you know, you know?

This could be beautiful

Mascara, maybe some lip gloss

And we're on our way

Get this girl some blush

And Heather, I need your brush

Let's make her beautiful

Let's make her beautiful

Let's make her beautiful

Make her beautiful

Okay?

Okay!

Out of my way geek!

I don't want trouble

You're gonna die at 3PM!

Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!

What'd I ever do to them?

Who could survive this?

I can't escape this!

I think I'm dying!

Who's that with Heather?

Whoa. Heather, Heather, Heather

And someone!

Heather, Heather, Heather

And a babe!

Heather, Heather, Heather

Veronica?!

Veronica, Veronica, Veronica

And you know

You know, you know

Life can be beautiful

You hope, you dream, you pray

And you get your way!

Ask me how it feels

Wearin' these rad ass heels!

My God, it's beautiful!

I might be beautiful

And when you're beautiful

It's a beautiful frickin' day!

Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!

Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica! Veronica! Veronica! Veronica!

fool count: 36

beautiful... beautifool... it all starts to blend together after a while...

[davekat-sucks]

Below is my "I strongly dislike Davekat and wish it wasn't canon and don't have ill will towards fans of it, but I do think they are being ignorant on purpose because Dave's character fucking sucks cock after Act 5" rant. Apologies but I needed to share this because it's almost 4/13 and I'm feeling festive.

You know why most of the fandom left homestuck around 2013-2014? cause of long pauses between updates and then we got stupid content that wasn't going anywhere. I left the fanbase DURING [S] game over. I fucking checked out because that was the stupidest fucking flash it could have possibly been and at that point I was waiting for a moment to just give up on the story and come back to it when it was finished.

I'd say most of the homestuck fandom seems silent about what they think about the story. Every fanbase is like that, most people watch from the sidelines and I do that too. I usually say nothing about the media I consume. Sometimes, rarely, I'll go through homestuck's reddit around this time of year and I'll see common sense. (There is hope!) But a good chunk of the people who stayed with the homestuck fandom through all of Act 6, or younger fans who are just joining it now, are able to just take whatever is given to them and not think anything through. I'm not saying anyone in the fanbase is stupid, no, I'm saying that they don't care enough about the story to admit what is good writing and what is shit writing. They don't care about writing. They don't care about the characters. They care about fannon. They care maybe, MAYBE, about activism.

A good chunk of the fanbase seem to be Davekat stans. Why are there are so many Davekat fans? It's because they can just eat the sludge. Maybe they grew up off of it so they can tolerate it. (I think Act 6 does a number on a motherfucker and makes you lower your standards so low that any content will do.)

Some people think any canon gay rep is good gay rep, but who would want to be represented by this? In Homestuck 2, Karkat is demoted to "Dave's boyfriend" and Dave was a selfish jerk through nearly all of Act 6. Dave was such a good character in Act 5, and Act 6 just had him ignore rose's alcoholism and ignore terezi's struggles. He didn't care about anything. Karkat at least somewhat tried to help Terezi or cheer her up. I can't understand for the life of me how someone like Karkat would end up with someone as selfish as Dave was. (Dave was selfish in the pre-retcon bit but still! why show us that? the epilogue was no different Dave abandoned jade instead of talked to her and let him know he wasn't interested in her because he's gay. I hardly recall what was going on at that part of the story, I just remember being dumbfounded that the story reinforced Dave only cares about himself.)

I wish Dave was written differently. I wish he had SOME, an ounce at least, of chemistry with Karkat. Instead what we got was Dave childishly drawing dicks on Karkat's face in some Hussie art and that pretty much sums up their whole relationship. A massive L for Karkat. I'm fine with Karkat being with meenah, nepeta, jade, davepetasprite for christ's sake! Just not the person that Dave ended up being. Why does fixing Dave fall on Karkat? Dave isn't the only shit character. I can't believe that John just gave up fully and completely. I find it hard to believe that Rose, at the end of the story, wouldn't advise John to train with her so he could learn how to use his new powers to go fight the empress. Why doesn't John do more with his powers? Why isn't John a better dad in the new content? I would imagine he would have tried to be like his own dad. Why did the story write Jake the entire way through like he was so worthless he wasn't worth our time and then dedicate so much of the story to him? I could go on and on about this, and I did go off so I will stop here.

This fandom and this story is going to continue circling the drain. The only thing that could possibly save it is a full overhaul and rewrite from people with skill who actually LIKE the characters. If anyone cared about the story THEY WOULD PRESS FOR THAT!!! If anything Hussie wanted to actively destroy any good will the fans had towards it. Maybe he fucking hates the story, I never looked to far into any of the backstory of how homestuck was made but I assume he fucking hated it from how he wrote Act 6. It's so sad to see because most of the characters had something really special about their stories. It's a story that is all about potential. It was crushed under the weight of it's own stupidity. Wait. I'm not done! What the fuck was that part where Dave left a note for Jade that said "I missed you" and a little red band? I didn't ship them but it certainly felt like Dave was into her or at worst leading her on. Am I supposed to believe that Dave was just fucking with her? Was he trying to be there for her? I guess he was fucking with her or trying to be into girls cause he ended up with Jade only to leave her in the epilogue. Why did he turn out to be such a prick!? Why didn't he talk to her? What point is the story trying to make? Abandon everything when you find out who you really are like your old friends don't matter anymore? Dave was maturing in act 5. Why the fuck is the story like this!!!?!?! YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS IS THE SAME MOTHER FUCKER WHO GAVE IT HIS ALL TO HELP? WHO SAVED ROSE'S LIFE AND THEN WENT TO DIE ALONG SIDE HER IN CASCADE? I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY REASON HE TRIED TO HELP BRING JADE BACK FROM THE DEAD IN GAME OVER WAS BECAUSE JADE WAS A SPACE PLAYER AND THEY NEEDED ONE TO TALK TO HER DENIZEN SO SHE'D BIRTH THE DAMN FROG THING OR WHATEVER!? DOES DAVE JUST SELECTIVELY DECIDE WHEN HE'S HAD ENOUGH BEING A COCKSUCKER? IS HIM BEING ABUSED BY BRO A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE TO IGNORE HOW LITTLE HE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING?!

WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THAT DAVE IS EVEN GOOD AFTER ACT 6?! WHAT GAME WERE THE REFS WATCHING!?!?!?!

Long story short, Karkat deserves at least somewhat better. Thank you.

Very well said! Everything about this is perfect! People excuse Dave's actions is because of the whole Bro Strider being abusive to him as he grew up. So they think it's okay for him to not move on past it or grow better as a person. Instead, he will just wallow himself in self pity and everyone must feel sorry for him. One could say it's projecting too. Ignoring the fact that Jade had to live ALONE when growing up on an island with an animal guardian. It may be normal for trolls since they have a society that relies on this, but it's not the same for Earth or humans. Not only that, but didn't Dave find out that it was BRO STRIDER who faced against Jack Noir and helped Davesprite ESCAPE? So wouldn't that put into more question about how he feels about his brother and wonder if there was more going on behind the scenes than what he saw? Like why would BRO let Davesprite, who just a Dave from a Doomed Timeline, protect him, knowing how he will be killed? Was his training helpful or did something else make him be this way? It still technically happened by Post Retcon too. So that event and fate is inevitable for Bro Strider. Closest interaction Dave had with Karkat pre-Act 6 is through the memo with John, but even then, he's just fucking around with Karkat. Taunting him to say that interspecies romance is a thing now between the Beta Kids and Trolls and Dave is ready to bang Terezi if Karkat doesn't step up to his game to admit his feelings for her. Maybe it was kind of shitty to use Terezi's feelings and their relationship to mess with someone else that he knows has feelings for her. But dude jumped the chance to use it against Karkat when he thinks humans dating alien trolls should not be a thing. We see Dave do showing kindness. From things like hiding all his dead Daves from Jade so she wouldn't get upset and him having a good time with people like Rose and John. It shows that he is capable of being a good person and probably would wish to be a better one. He wants to be BETTER than Bro. Be someone that treats others better. Maybe even towards his own kids if he decides to have one. But sadly, we live in an age where having a family is a bad thing now. Karkat really deserves better and Dave sucks as he is in these recent HS projects. I don't think James Roach or HICU will make him any better. And Davekat will be hard to make it go away with how the people who work on Homestuck and ones outside of it (like Requiem Cafe) will pander to it because they know it will get the most attention and money. Like carrot on a stick. Even the carrot is rotten, they will still take it.

[datvtranscripts]

Sea of Blood Pt. 2

The Demon of Vyrantium

Lucanis Masterpost

Signs and Portents Masterpost Previous: Welcome to Antiva

They follow Illario out of the Cantori diamond.

Illario: Come. Caterina arranged a boat. One of our mages will meet us there.

Rook: A boat?

Illario: Did you think the Venatori would keep a normal prison? Or that one could hold the Demon of Vyrantium? The Ossuary lies beneath the sea. A fact I learned mere minutes ago.

Bellara: But the enchantments required must be immense.

Harding: Under the… oh, this is going to be just great.

Neve: Secret and excessive. Sounds like Venatori.

Rook: You're not happy Caterina kept this from you.

Illario: Would you be? Lucanis is family. Maybe she thought I'd act too rash if it meant saving him. And now… Who can say if he's even still alive?

They arrive at a small dock.

Illario: There. You take the boat.

Rook: Are you coming with us?

Illario: It's possible we've been watched. If all of us vanish from the dock… You play the alluring hero. I know Treviso. If we have a tail, I have a better chance of distracting their interest.

Rook and their companion climb into the boat and are taken out into the water. Once they are far from shore, their escort stops.

Rook: So how do we get in?

Antivan Crow: You'll see.

The mage begins to work, causing the water to swirl around them. The scene fades back into Rook at the entrance of some kind of underwater structure.

Rook: Someone—or something—already took down the guards.

Bellara: Let's hope we don't run into whatever did that. Do we think Lucanis is still alive? I guess there's one way to find out.

Harding: I can't decide if that's good or bad. But we have a demon to find. Any ideas?

Neve: Might work in our favor, but something's wrong here. Let's hope we find our demon alive.

The camera pans to the surrounding water. A whale swims past.

Rook: Look!

They continue in.

Rook: So, this is the Ossuary. This doesn't look like any prison I've seen.

They reach a bridge that vanished as they approach.

Rook: Well, we're not going that way.

Bellara: This place looks elven. I bet it's been underwater since the gods were imprisoned, at least.

Harding: Oh. So the place is underwater and falling apart. That seems real safe.

Neve: The Venatori set up shop in an elven ruin. It's a wonder anything works.

They continue.

Rook: I can't believe all this is underwater. If the enchantments containing this place ever failed…

Choice dependent dialogue:

Crow [1]

Non-Crow [2]

1 - Crow

Bellara: They shouldn't. But… they might. On top of that, we're looking for a killer. Another one, I mean. Rook: Assassin. Murderers don't usually get paid. [3]

Harding: Do we really need another assassin? We already have you! And you're great! Rook: We're trying to kill gods, Harding. We're going to need a lot of knives. [3]

Neve: Nervous about that, or the job in general? The Demon of Vyrantium—he's sort of a big shot among the Crows, isn't he? Rook: The grandson of the First Talon? The Crow who almost wiped out the Venatori? You could say that. [3]

2 - Non Crow

Bellara: They shouldn't. But… they might. On top of that, we're looking for a killer. How sure are we that this is a good idea? Rook: If we want to kill a pair of gods, maybe a "demon" is just what we need. [3]

Harding: Are we sure we want to do this, Rook? The Antivan Crows aren't really known for being loyal, or helpful. They're mostly known for killing. Rook: Killing is what we need, though. [3]

Neve: Nervous about that, or the job in general? Not everyone deals with the Antivan Crows. And lives to tell about it. Rook: We're up against gods. A "demon" might come in handy. [3]

3 - Scene continues.

They spot a Venatori barrier ahead.

Bellara: It's a magical barricade. Whatever's inside, the Venatori really didn't want it getting out.

Harding: Whatever's behind that door, it's important. Which means that's the right direction.

Neve: A barrier. Whatever's in there, the Venatori really want it to stay put.

Rook: Then we break through.

Rook destroys the floating crystals.

Rook: All right! We’re almost through!

They destroy the last of the barrier and head into the cell.

Rook enters a room full of crystals and Venatori, who are doing some kind of magic. They turn as Rook enters.

Rook: We don't have to fight. We're just here for Lucanis Dellamorte.

The Venatori prepare to fight.

Rook: Get ready.

Ossuary Guard: Razikale, Dragon of Mystery. Lusacan, Dragon of Night. Hear your faithful call—

Lucanis bursts out of the crystal with purple demon wings, and kills the Venatori.

Rook: I'm guessing you're the reason we're here.

The wings vanish, and Lucanis turns.

Lucanis: Who are you? Who sent you?

Crow: Rook: My name's Rook. House de Riva. I'm here to bring you home. Lucanis: House de Riva. You're a Crow.

Non-Crow Rook: My name's Rook. Caterina sent me. Lucanis: Caterina… But… you're not a Crow.

Dialogue options:

Affable: I’m here to help. [1]

Sarcastic: Today’s full of surprises. [2]

Stoic: You need to trust me. [3]

Mage: And you’re not human. [4]

1 - Affable: I’m here to help. Rook: I'm breaking you out of here, but… what are you? Bellara/Harding/Neve: Rook. He's possessed by a demon. [5]

2 - Sarcastic: Today’s full of surprises. Rook: You weren't expecting a rescue, I wasn't expecting… whatever that was. Bellara/Harding/Neve: Rook. He's possessed by a demon. [5]

3 - Stoic: You need to trust me. Rook: I'm your way out. Bellara/Harding/Neve: Rook. He's possessed by a demon. [5]

4 - Mage: And you’re not human. Rook: And you're possessed by a demon. [5]

5 - Scene continues.

Lucanis: It’s complicated.

Rook: Caterina promised us a mage-killer if we broke you out of here.

Lucanis: I can still work.

Rook: Good. Because I'm pretty sure more Venatori are on their way. We have to get moving.

Lucanis: They have a vial of my blood. They can use it to control me. I cannot leave it in their hands. And… I had a contract when I was captured. One of my targets is here. Calivan.

Lucanis: You know what that means. Crows don't break contracts. Lucanis: Crows don't break contracts.

Affable: We’ll help. Rook: All right, we'll help. But in return, I want help killing some things.

Sarcastic: Any other requests? Rook: Yes, yes. The famous Crow contracts. So you want a prison break, a blood heist, and assassination help just to get you out of here.

Stoic: Make it quick. Rook: Fine. But we make it quick.

Lucanis: I'll owe you.

Rook: I'm sure we'll owe each other before this is all over. Let's go.

Next: First order of Business

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

I didn't initially want to make a post about it, probably bc it didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would. But then I saw other people talking and I figured I had something to say as well. So here I am.

For all we know Liam was an abuser in many shapes of the word. He groomed his girlfriend, was violent with her, cheated on her with minors and maybe something else I am forgetting. This is all true. Does it me merit death? Maybe, depending on your point of view. And if that's what you believe, then act accordingly, I'm not here to force anyone to stop doing anything. Just maybe give you some perspective.

But Liam was also a friend, and a brother, and a son, and a father and an uncle and so many other things. He was hated but he was also loved. And, most of all, he was human.

It doesn't affect me as much as I thought it would, I thought I'd cry or be revolted or whatever, the day I learned a member from 1D died. I really did. But I am not. I am calm, I am at peace.

I think it's bc I know Liam had been in deep suffering for years now. Long years. And he was making people suffer too. And, it's not ideal, at least not to me, but at least it's over now, you know? There's peace in death bc it's how you rejoin the fabric of the universe. You rejoin the flow, become nothing, you begin to make perfect logical sense again.

Deep in my heart, there's a part of me that is still mourning, though. And I think that it's the wasted life, the wasted potential, the wasted everything... Liam was such a talented person, you know? He wasn't a great dancer, sksjdjsk, but he was a good singer. Whether people recognize that or not, it won't change the facts. Well, actually no, scratch that. It will. It will bc it did when he was alive too.

I don't know Liam personally but I think he was constantly searching after a spotlight no one ever gave him. Whether that was bc they thought he wasn't good looking enough, or not talented enough or not charismatic enough or just bc it was easier not to, I think it remains true.

The industry didn't treat him fairly, it exploited his name, his talent and his insecurities. And that doesn't justify his actions, of course not, but I think we should remember this:

Liam Payne was not born an abuser, no one ever is. And sure the actions he did are his own and were he alive he should respond for them accordingly but the fact still stands that ever since 1D was no longer, maybe even before that, Liam was going down a spiral that could lead nowhere good. And that's blood on the music industry's hands.

In the end, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm terribly sorry that one of the people that saved me from depression in my teenage years could not be saved himself. What I'm trying to say is that I wish he had had better opportunities, I wish people would've recognised his value and humanity, I wish things would've been so different, I wish he was still alive so he could try and be better and a better man.

Given a chance, let's put it that way: I wish Liam Payne was given a chance.

I know maybe this won't change anything and that maybe people will think the sort of grief we have as a collective, not over an abuser, though that was a part of him, but over one of the man that made our lives better will be weird, see it poorly... But I still wanted to say it, voice it. Bc I think we're allowed to mourn him even after everything that happened. Bc I don't think that someone having done a lot of bad to other people erases the good that person did to you. And I think it's valid to recognise one thing but still have feelings that don't match it. We're all human, after all, all complex...

So idk... I guess this is it? This is what I wanted to say.

You can be happy about his passing, you can celebrate, if you want to, I won't deny anyone their own feelings but don't deny everyone else theirs either.

And pls, for the love of whatever you hold dearest, don't go bring any negative energy or mockery to his loved ones. You might not get it but they lost someone important. Respect their grief, if no one else's.

Be human.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY MERRILL  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age ii

hello! i'll be your distraction! you can't hit me!

oh dear, get ready for more trouble.

have i ever mentioned i like your coat?

can i get you something to eat or drink? i have... water.

i fell off the pier once. the harbor is really deep.

do you think we could go swimming later?

someone spilled ale in here.

you really believe that, don't you?

everything i did, i did for them!

be careful what you believe in.

i hardly think you're one to criticize.

i'll find something relatively clean for you to sit on.

everyone is staring at me.

did i ask you?

we have our own stories. i don't need to borrow yours.

things are about to get exciting.

what right do you have to question us?

why doesn't anyone ever want to be nice to us?

we're about to be attacked!

it's not surprising at all that anybody would love you.

i was always... a bit secluded.

if you never made mistakes, it wouldn't matter if you believed.

i'm sorry, i can't do anymore.

it's awfully noisy in here.

why does it always smell like cabbage here?

is that your house?

why are you smiling?

why don't you arrest us?

if i had any other choices, i'd take them.

stop it. you're scaring me.

ugh, this tastes terrible.

go on, i'll catch up!

ooh, ooh, it's something dirty, isn't it? tell me, tell me!

someone's laying traps.

are you jealous?

you look uncomfortable.

oh, that's good too, but i was hoping for something dirty.

you're very quiet today. is something wrong?

have i mentioned that i don't really like it here?

i think i stepped in something.

you could get another cat, you know.

i haven't exactly made many friends.

i came in and watered your plants.

how do i learn it, then?

it's not my fight.

you've spent too much time being grumpy. it's a nice change.

it's a pretty evening, don't you agree?

i think we'd better get ready to fight.

nobody seems to like you. do you get used to that?

i'm a little overwhelmed here!

the act of lovemaking is so... intimate.

are you all right?

why do you even like me? i must seem so dull.

i was so sick on our trip across the sea.

i'm not exactly sure why we keep coming here.

could somebody help me with this, please?

oh, i can't hit that! it's much too far!

you've had many lovers, haven't you?

i've got an idea! get over here!

you sort of swagger when you walk. i've been trying, but i trip over my own feet when i do it.

i wish i had your life.

what? did i miss something?

i'm not that foolish. our relationship is strictly platonic.

you brought this on yourself!

you know, i think they were really trying to kill us.

is everyone all right?

what have i done to you now?

you keep looking at them with sad puppy eyes every time their back is turned.

i'd like to hear them sometime, if you don't mind.

i think it's over. do you think it's over?

i really think we need a new plan?

could we perhaps do battle with a pack of pretty flowers or soft bunnies next time?

if you don't believe in me either, i won't mind.

that didn't go quite like i thought it would.

i've got so many bruises now, they've got names and families.

you're very kind. thank you.

even you can be happy once in a while. it won't kill you, but your face might crack if you smile, so be careful.

you're in love!

this is going very badly!

just wondering why you're so cross all the time.

did i say something wrong again?

i'm the stupid one? whatever.

that can't be true.

do you regret it?

i think he's broken the thing he wanted to save.

would you truly turn your back on your own history?

do you like crowded cities better?

there are many things i wish i could undo.

and you're so cute when you're with him.

it could fall on someone, but you'd have to push it really hard. it's quite heavy.

we're not all like him.

don't you care about the plight of our people? not even a little bit?

you'll protect them, though. it's what you do.

maybe i'll borrow yours sometime, if that's all right.

everything affects everything.

it's impossible to talk to you.

simple is good. it sneaks up on you, makes you smile.

it feels like something is ending, doesn't it?

i've lived there for years. i see it firsthand.

it's just a precaution. nothing will go wrong.

did i miss something dirty?

did you step on something sharp?

how did you learn swording?

i said something wrong again, didn't i? maybe i'll just stop talking.

are you talking to me?

[elementaldoughnut12]

"Denim Treasure"

*contains sexual acts and crying plus this is my first winner's room fic so be nice!*

*what should've happened after Full Gear*

Doughnut Team: @afterdarkprincess @thlayli-ra

Orange just sighs as he sees the room number and opens the door. He goes inside and sees a collection of different kinds of condoms and lubes on the bathroom counter which means that the production team were here to set everything up. “They only bring out the best stuff for the loser of a title match” Orange says sadly as he places his suitcase on the bed.

He opens it up and pulls out a pair of black knee-high pantyhose, black heels with straps and a strapless one-piece denim lingerie with a big buckle on the front. “I was saving this for our upcoming fifteenth wedding anniversary but whatever might as well just use it now” Orange says with a sigh as he takes off his clothes and puts on the outfit. Once he puts on his outfit, he walks over to the vanity in the corner and sits on the stool.

He pulls out some blue eyeshadow, black mascara and ruby red lipstick from his makeup bag. He puts his makeup on with such precision and grace just like he always did when he and his husband went out on dates or just to sneak off to a hotel room. After he finishes he looks in the mirror and he looks beautiful but just for the wrong reason.

He never liked the idea of a winner's room because it felt wrong to him. He never indulged in them either because he was married and would never wanna break the vows he made to his husband. Unfortunately, thanks to the wonderful EVPs, Orange is forced to do a winner's room and film it or he's fired. He believes that an intimate moment between two people is to be shared just between them, not shared around the locker room like a porno.

It stings but the biggest upset about this is that this just proves he'll never be as good enough as Mox, he'll always wind up short, he'll always be known as a loser. With all these thoughts wriggling around in his head it makes Orange start to cry. He can feel his mascara running down his face but he doesn't even care at this point. He didn't even notice Mox coming into the room. “Orange?” Mox asks, catching Orange's attention.

“Jon! How long have you been there?” Orange asks as he turns around to face him. “I just got in… are you crying?” Mox asks worryingly as he sets the camera on the dresser. “I wasn't crying there was just something in my eyes” Orange lies as he tries to wipe away his tears. “You always were a bad liar fruitcake” Mox says, causing Orange to sigh. “I just hate that we're being forced to do this” Orange says sadly.

“You know we don't have to film it right? We could just film the aftermath of it” Mox offers gently, causing Orange to shake his head. “I don't wanna get fired! I don't wanna prove everyone right that I'm just a loser that'll never be as good enough as you! So let's just get this over with so I can go to sleep!” Orange yells as tears stream down his cheeks again. He gasps in shock when Mox picks him up and sets him on his lap on the bed.

“James, look at me right fucking now” Mox says seriously, making Orange look at him. “You're not a loser so don't even fucking say that about yourself. Did I marry you fifteen years ago cause you were a good wrestler? No, I married you because you are the sweetest and most extraordinary person I ever fell in love with. So what if you didn't win? You still took me to my fucking limit and proved that you're on my level or even fucking better! So I suggest you stop spewing bullshit or I'm gonna pound your tight ass into this mattress” Mox says truthfully, causing Orange to blush.

“You always talk so passionately when I feel down” Orange says with a quiet laugh. “Well, you always tell me not to talk shit about myself so I thought I'd return the favor” Mox says as he presses their foreheads together. “I don't deserve you sometimes Jon ” Orange says truthfully. “Fruitcake, I should be saying that instead of you. Now, you wanna film this and get it over with or you wanna film it and pretend it was our wedding night all over again?” Mox says with a smirk, causing Orange to blush even more.

“Rather you fuck me like you love me if you don't mind” Orange says with a giggle. “I always love you sweetheart now can you set the camera up? I still don't know shit about technology” Mox says as he kisses Orange's cheek. Orange hops off his husband's lap to turn on the camera and sets it in a corner of the room. “Oh crap I forgot my makeup is ruined!” Orange says worryingly as he tries to wipe it off. He hears his husband laugh behind him as he then feels a hot wet tongue against his face.

“J-Jon?!?” Orange says in shock as Mox continues licking the mascara tracks off his cheeks. When he finishes licking the mascara off, Mox starts nibbling on Orange's neck, causing Orange to moan and get slightly hard in his lingerie. He can feel Mox's hands drifting down his front and cupping his growing erection. Mox takes his hands off Orange, causing him to whine. “Let's get this party started” he says with a smirk as he gently pushes Orange onto the bed.

“Haven't seen this cute little number before” Mox says as he gently traces the buckle on Orange's lingerie. “I was saving it for our fifteenth wedding anniversary” Orange says with a blush. “You always look beautiful in denim�� Mox says affectionately as he gets on his knees in front of Orange. He gently takes Orange's heels off and starts kissing up Orange's leg. Orange feels himself tear up at his husband, who's basically worshipping him as Mox slowly takes off his pantyhose and repeats the same actions to his other leg.

Orange feels tears slowly stream down his face again as Mox sets his head on Orange's bare thighs and smiles up at him. “Hi” Mox says sweetly as he lightly traces circles on Orange's thigh. “Hi” Orange says with a quiet laugh as he cups Mox's face in his hands. “I'm ready to do this whenever you are babe” Mox says as he leans into Orange's touch. “Make me feel special, please?” Orange asks hopefully.

“You're lucky that's my specialty sweetheart” Mox says with a wink as he gets up off the floor and takes off his shirt. “Jesus fuck” Orange says while blushing profusely, causing his husband to laugh. “You always get like this when I take my shirt off fruitcake” Mox says as he takes his pants off as well. “Sometimes I forget I'm married to a fucking bear” Orange says truthfully as Mox leans in. “I would've never suspected you being into fuzzballs but guess it worked out didn't it?” Mox asks as he gives Orange a quick kiss and walks to the bathroom.

“I remember when your beard started growing in and I rode you every night for a week straight” Orange says as he presses his hand down on his aching cock. He hears Mox let out a quiet groan as he comes back with a bottle of lube. “Turn around before I blow my load from just looking at you” Mox says as Orange turns around. Mox pulls the zipper down from Orange's lingerie and helps him take it off, revealing his husband's soft pale skin.

“God, you look good enough to fucking eat” Mox says seductively as Orange turns back around. “Dammit Jon, don't say stuff like that” Orange says with a whine as he lays on his back and slowly spreads his legs, showing his cute little hole. “Can't blame me for having a hot wife” Mox says as he coats his fingers with lube. He leans over and kisses Orange as he presses two of his fingers into Orange's hole. Orange whines and grabs onto Mox's shoulders as he feels his hole being stretched out.

“Jon, I don't think I can…” Orange tries to say but lets out a loud moan as Mox brushes against his prostate. “You make such pretty noises fruitcake” Mox growls in Orange's ear as he scissors his fingers inside of Orange's hole. Mox continues fingering Orange until his husband is a blushing, teary eyed mess and removes his fingers. “Are you ready for me to rock your world?” Mox says as he takes off his boxers, revealing his hard dick. “Fuck Jon please! Make me feel special!” Orange pleads through tears.

“Whatever my fruitcake wants” Mox says sweetly as he slicks up his cock and slowly enters Orange all the way to the hilt. “Oh my god” Orange moans as he feels himself get stretched out even more. “Take a deep breath babe, we got all the time in the world” Mox says sweetly as he kisses Orange's cheek. Orange always feels loved anytime Mox is gentle with him. “OK, you can start moving” Orange says as Mox starts to slowly thrust into him.

“How the fuck are you still tight after fifteen years of me railing your twink ass?” Mox asks, causing Orange to laugh. “I don't think I qualify as a twink anymore” Orange says as Mox hits against his prostate again, causing him to moan. “You still moan like one” Mox says as he starts thrusting a bit faster. “You still fuck like you got whiskey dick” Orange says with a giggle, causing Mox to glare at him. “I'll show you who fucking has whiskey dick” Mox says under his breath as he starts pounding into Orange.

Orange's mind instantly turned to putty when Mox was beating on his prostate like a drum. “You love to get under my skin just so you could get railed like a bitch in heat don't you?” Mox says and receives whimpers in response. Orange closes his eyes and covers his mouth so he doesn't get too loud. “Oh no you don't! I wanna hear those pretty noises” Mox says as he uses one hand to pin Orange's arms above his head. Orange opens his eyes and sees his husband grinning like a kid who just snuck a cookie out the jar.

Seeing that manic intensity in Mox's eyes seems to really turn Orange on apparently as he feels that familiar warmth in his belly. “Jon…” Orange whimpers as he feels like his aching, dripping cock is gonna explode like a party popper. “Time for the main event” Mox says with devilish glee as starts pounding into Orange even harder and kisses him. Those thrusts were too much for Orange as he grabs onto Mox's shoulders again and feels his eyes roll back into his head as he cums all over their stomachs.

He feels Mox paints his insides a few seconds later which always feels nice to Orange. He feels Mox's hand brush against his cheek as he opens his eyes again to see his husband smiling at him. “You ok fruitcake? I didn't rail you too hard did I?” Mox asks sweetly, making Orange blush. “No, it was fucking awesome” Orange says with a giggle. “I forgot you get giggly after being fucked fruitcake” Mox says as he gently pulls out and walks over to the camera.

“How the fuck do I turn this shit off?” Mox asks confusingly as he looks around the camera. “You hit the pause button then hit the power button” Orange explains as he gets some tissues to wipe his stomach. “Hope the EVCucks enjoy the moment cause they ain't getting another one” Mox says as he hits the correct buttons on the camera and lays back down with Orange. Orange then wipes the cum off Mox's stomach and lays on his husband's chest.

“Thanks for making me feel special tonight Jon” Orange says sweetly as he traces circles on Mox's arm. “Sweetheart I'll gladly do this every fucking day if it made you happy because I love you” Mox says, making Orange giggle. “Are you just saying that so I'll join the Death Riders?” Orange asks curiously, causing Mox to laugh. “Nope, but that would be nice considering you look beautiful in black” Mox says as he wraps his arms around Orange.

“I'll think about it… love you Jon” Orange says as he feels sleep overcome him. “Love you too my denim treasure” Mox says quietly as he gives Orange a quick kiss and turns the light off, going to sleep as well. It's ok if Orange loses cause his husband makes him feel like a winner every night.

[moriartyluver]

ARE YOU MINE PROLOGUE

"SHERLOCK GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

The ravenette sat down on decaying, dusty sofa with a sigh.

"Yeah whatever," He rolled his eyes "You guys know this is my place anyways, don't get too cocky, (name)"

"Isn't this your mother's basement?" John asked from across the room.

(Name) chuckled "I'm surprised your brother hasn't forced you out yet."

Sherlock's brother, Mycroft, was about 7 years older than him and currently working for some government office, although Sherlock described him to have a much more important job than his brother would admit. He even saved him as "The Government" on his phone contacts.

"Oh believe me, come autumn, I'll be gone thanks to that idiot," Sherlock muttered angrily

"Anyways," James interrupted "We did pretty good at that last gig. I think we made about two hundred pounds in total, right (nickname)?"

"It was a children's birthday party. We were playing at one of those soft play centres." She said, narrowing her eyes

"What's wrong with that?" John questioned, his hands wrapped around a couple of drumsticks.

(Name) turned to face him with a glare. "Don't you get it? We have a serious issue with our band image, you dumbfucks."

"Hey no swearing! My mum's up there!" Sherlock warned "And for your information, we are not changing the name!"

"How are we calling our band 'The Baker Street Boys' if our lead singer and guitarist is a girl? It's stupid!" Scoffing, (Name) stood up. "See? When I started this band, I wanted to do something, y'know? Follow my passions, be a little rebellious and make a name for myself, for us!" She said, picking up her brown electric guitar "Instead, we're playing for little kids and using cheap ass instruments like some third rate garage band! Our other guitarist is a mummy's boy who tells people off for swearing, our drummer doesn't even like rock music and would much rather listen to some Frank Sinatra or The Beatles than literally any rock band or something with a little flavour for once, and our bassist doesn't even play the bass! Not to mention the shitty name!"

"The Beatles isn't that bad..." The drummer muttered to himself.

"Oh shut it John." (Name) snapped "My point is, that we don't act like a real rock band! We're just some losers who play instruments and have no purpose in the music industry! I mean, have any of you been on tiktok recently? It's full of wannabe popstars making shitty music and trying to sound like every other artist. I don't want to be following every other quote unquote artist who just makes songs that even rival Dixie Damelio in lack of creativity!"

"She has a point." James agreed with a nod

Her scowl shifted to a determined smile "I have a few ideas on how we can up our game a little and actually be influential, like The Sex Pistols-"

"Yeah but they kind of fell apart pretty quick." Sherlock pointed out "Their singer couldn't sing, their bassist probably killed himself and their guitarist was illiterate."

"And they still made better songs than whatever bullshit you've been cooking up, Sherly." (Name) argued back, pulling out a little notepad from a pocket in her red leather jacket. "Anyways, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I have a few ideas so we can actually make a name for ourselves. First of all, John, stop dressing like a grandpa and put on some eyeliner or something. Same goes for you two," She said, looking at James who was sat cross-legged on the floor, and Sherlock in the sofa. "Sherlock, you dress like a roadman and that's when your mother isn't dressing you. Stop letting her buy you hideous clothes. James, your outfits put Harry Styles to shame. Get rid of those damn shoes."

"But my shoes make me look taller..!" James frowned

"Stop being a whiny bitch." (Name) glared "Second off, we need to start writing out own songs. I've mostly got that covered but I'd like a bit of input every now and then." She turned a page "Number three.." She trailed off "Right, we need to start expanding ourselves a little more. I know we're all loser introverts but if we socialise, we make connections. If we make connections, we can get gigs at proper places and possibly get better venues. I might look into getting a social media manager but I'll just open a tiktok account for the band when I get home, an instagram would work too."

"I thought we didn't want to be tiktok artists?" Sherlock asked with a raised brow

(Name) shook her head "That's different, Sherly. It's just free promo, super easy. It's not like we're singing 'ABCDEFU' or something. I'll just record band rehearsals or announce gigs and stuff. We can probably get at least a few thousand followers. I'll make a spotify too while I'm at it." She took her guitar bag, slinging it over her shoulder. "Alright, band meeting's done for now. I'm gonna go back home before my parent's start wondering where I am. Thankfully, it's not that late though.." She looked at her watch. It was only 3:35pm. She'd come home later before and now that it was summer, it wasn't getting dark as fast. She turned on her heel, walking towards the basement door "Bye!"

Upon returning home, (Name) had noticed it was quiet. Too quiet. She shrugged it off though, returning to her bedroom to hide her guitar under her bed or something, but when she had swung the door open, she heard some whispering, and found her parents stood in her room, all her hidden albums and vinyl's and other music stuff scattered around her now mess of a room.

"What the hell..?" She murmured, stepping over the Arctic Monkeys CDs on her bedroom floor, dumping her cheap guitar on the ground

"Care to explain all this, young lady?" Her father asked, holding up a vinyl in his hand. His voice had an angry undertone which made (Name) chuckle nervously.

"Why are you looking through my room?" She asked, thinking of excuses to defend herself

"That's not your business." Her mother chimed in "Since when did you have all.. this? What else have you been doing?"

(Name) swallowed, approaching her parents in an attempt to take back her record player from beside her father. "It's nothing."

"Nothing?" Her father clenched his teeth, pointing to her guitar on the floor "Don't tell me you're some sort of musician now! What else have you been hiding?"

"Oh nothing," (Name) said sarcastically "Just some heavy drugs, obviously. Now leave me alone!"

"Can't we at least talk about this? What about university? You know you can't make a living out of this!" (Mother's name) exclaimed, pain evident in her voice

"Can we skip to the arguing now if you aren't gonna leave? It's just a hobby I swear, and besides, being in a band's the only thing I like anyways!" She yelled, gathering a bunch of albums in her arms

"You're in a band? A rock band? With who?!"

"None of your bloody business." She stated coldly "Can't you just leave? This is so counterproductive!"

"The only thing counterproductive is this little fantasy of yours, (Name)." Her father opened up an album, inspecting it as if it was something illegal "You're smart. I don't see why you're wasting your time like this! And with rock music of all things!"

"It's not just rock." (Name) muttered "There's some Lana Del Rey mixed up somewhere here too.."

Her father opened his mouth to speak as he stepped back, but before he could utter another word, a harsh crack could be heard echoing throughout (Name)'s bedroom.

"What was that..?" (Name) whispered, then her mouth flew open in realisation as she looked down at her father's foot "Dad! You have got to be shitting me!"

Her father himself was surprised, but instead of admitting his mistake, he tried to make it seem as though it was intentional, a way of teaching his daughter a lesson. "Y-Yeah.. well that's what you deserve for lying to your parents!"

He had stepped on her guitar, breaking it fairly easily. She had known it was cheap and terrible quality, but the guitar did it's job ad that's all that really mattered, but now it was broken. How could she be a guitarist if she didn't have a guitar anymore?

"(Name)-"

Her parents tried to call out to her, but she was gone. (Name) walked out the room, grabbing her bag and jacket before slamming the door, tears welling in her eyes.

It had been half an hour since she left the band meeting, so reasonably, there was the possibility that the others were still at Sherlock's place, considering they didn't have parents restricting what hobbies they could and could not have. She ran to Sherlock's house, which was only a few minutes away, knocking on the door and wiping her tears with her sleeve.

"(Name)? You're back?" Sherlock said, answering the door

Another voice, with an American accent, followed. "(Name)'s back?"

She smiled as the rest of the band crowded at the door. "Yeah, change of plan. We're going to town now, I need to pick something up from Q's"

"I thought you said Q's cost too much?" James asked curiously

For those of you unfamiliar with British shopping culture, in city areas, there's usually a big shopping centre in the middle, a bit like a mega mall but alot more scattered. Most just refer to it as a 'city centre' or more simply 'town' even though it doesn't make much sense. The streets are busy, with the occasional musician playing a guitar or something and the smell of cigarette smoke is everywhere. These shopping centres are quiet useful, especially in big cities like London, because you can find pretty much everything, everywhere.

Q was a music shop in 'town', run by a German bloke called "Von Herder", but naturally, it was quite expensive, especially because of how good the instruments sold there was, and as an unemployed teenage girl (that's debatable considering she's 18), (Name) couldn't afford to buy a certain guitar she had been dying to buy since she had seen it months ago, hence the surprise of James.

"I'll negotiate my way to a lower price, I'm sure it'll be fine." (Name) smiled, althought she doubted she could.

Sherlock shook his head "No you're not. We have that money from the gig, I think two hundred quid should be enough, after all, you broke your last guitar. I think you deserve it." He offered as they all walked towards the bus stop

"Oh no, really," (Name) waved her hands in protest "It's fine. We said we were gonna split the money equally anyways. I don't want you guys missing out on money too!"

"Yeah well, we only got all that money because of your skills." Sherlock argued back "If you don't have a guitar, we can't make more money and The Baker Street Boys are done for without our lead guitarist."

"Fine," (Name) sighed, before pausing in her tracks "Wait how the hell did you know I broke my guitar?!"

Sherlock had been known for being good at reading people and his deductions were almost always spot on, so (Name) shouldn't have been so surprised

He put a finger to his chin, faux thoughtfully "Hmm... let's see." He mocked "You come to my house again after leaving half an hour prior, and you looked like you were trying not to cry, but your sleeve was stained. Not to mention, most obviously, you want us to come with you to town to buy a guitar?"

Rolling her eyes, (Name) hit Sherlock's shoulder as they, along with John and James, boarded a red bus "Yeah yeah whatever, maybe was a bit obvious."

After about an hour of looking for Q's amongst crowds of people, (Name) eventually found it, although by now, she had spilt up from her fellow bandmates because James had pushed Sherlock into a Victoria's Secret lingerie display and (Name) had ran off, pretending not to know them.

She walked into the store, a nirvana song blasting in her headphones. She looked around for the guitar, browsing around as she attempted to decide which colour she wanted. She picked up a dark red guitar, and it had felt as thought it was meant to be. In fact, she could hear a harmonious piano melody playing in her head.

Wait.

The sound of those piano keys was actually not in her head, but was coming from a grand piano on the other end of the store..?

Taking off her headphones, (Name) looked in the direction of the music. It was Tchaikovsky's Swan lake and whoever was playing it didn't even miss a note. It was, in a sense, perfect. Even (Name) couldn't play guitar that good. Surely, whoever was playing must have been a professional piano player.

At the piano however, she something even more beautiful than the music the stranger was playing. A young man with (very soft looking) blond hair and unique red eyes, concentrating on the keys as his fingers moved in sync to the melody. He looked like he was written by Lana Del Rey, which was rare.

(Name) smiled, walking towards to stranger in an attempt to make some small talk, seeing as Von Herder seemed to be busy behind the counter.

"Wow, you're really good.." she muttered in awe

The stranger perked his head up with a polite smile, almost radiant. "Thank you."

His voice matched his appearance and piano skills, just as elegant as he was. Clearly, he was raised in a wealthy family somewhere in London, probably one of the rich areas like Kensington or Chelsea.

"No, I'm serious. Tchaikovsky is rolling in his grave out of jealousy right now." She said, somewhat nervous "Like if he came back to life and saw you out doing him with his own song, he'd kill himself and die again because of how jealous he’d be, that's how good you are."

The stranger's smile widened in amusement and she could've swore she heard him laugh a little. "That's certainly an interesting way to put it. Do you play any instruments, too, by any chance?"

"Well obviously, if I'm in an instrument shop, I'd hope so." (Name) nodded, gesturing to the piano. "I'm a bit of all rounder. I can do piano, drums and base, but I'm more of a guitarist myself."

"That really is extraordinary.." He complimented "I myself can only really play the piano. I've played a bit of violin too but it wasn't to my taste, honestly speaking."

"You still play really good though. Are you a professional or something?" She asked curiously

The blond shook his head, still smiling "It's just a hobby of mine. I'm more suited to mathematics but I admire the beauty of the piano..the intricate mechanisms..the sounds it's makes..it's an art, if you will."

"Yeah, I get that. It invokes emotion in people, I mean most social movements and revolutions were influenced heavily by music, like anarchism and stuff." She trailed off, then spotted Von Herder back at the counter "I..uh..play in a band. It's not very good but I want to make changes like that too..y'know?"

Surprisingly, he nodded understandingly. "I'm sure you're band is much better than you give it credit for. Do you have a name yet? Perhaps I could-"

"Oh lord, not you again..!" A German voice exclaimed upon spotting (name) "What did I tell you, girl? I'm not trading you the guitar in exchange for an autograph!"

(Name) groaned "That was James idea, not mine, Herder!" She turned to the stranger who had been cut off "We're called The Baker Street boys but Sherly — he's the other guitarist — and I keep arguing about it because I think it's stupid that we're called the Baker Street boys when I'm clearly not a boy, so every time anyone asks, I just say we're called the coke whores even though I don’t do coke and I don’t think anyone in the band does, actually maybe Sherly does I don’t know. I told you the actual name though so that was kind of stupid."

"I see..That's a...lovely...name." The blond smiled, although (name) could tell he was a little taken aback by h the abundance of information. He looked over to the counter. “Are you familiar with Mr Von Herder?"

(Name) nodded, picking up the guitar she intended on buying "Yeah, the band and I come by here sometimes to look at the instruments. James, my friend, bought a bass here last week, but I think he's sick of us by now. Speaking of, I should probably buy this before he accuses me of an attempted robbery." She walked towards the counter slowly, waving at the blond

"Nice talking to you, stranger!"

A/N: omg first chapter. I only started working on this fic yesterday but the ideas been marinating in my brain for a while icl. At least a few months. Anyways maybe that stranger will get another appearance who knows 👀

[clown-demon]

((This is just... kinda venting about my ex fp and talking about it.. cuz looking back onto it... he is NOT a good person. And he was actually being harm on my mental health.

My ex fp, I was like, SUPER fucking attached to him, or well, an alter had formed that was, at least that's what I believe. But-- my ex fp was a MASSIVE liar. He would lie his ass off about so much and tell me about how he lied to people. I also think he is completely faking DID... cuz almost ALL his alters talk in the exact same way.. if you talk to an alter and then a different one and stuff-- it's like you're talking to the same person. If he didn't change his discord names and pfp when he would 'switch' you would not be able to tell the difference. There's only very few that talked differently-- but I think it was an act cuz ONCE he was talking to me and my other ex friend, and he made a very OOC emote for that alter.. and then he was like 'oops I didn't mean that' but it was an emoji he used a lot.. and I think he just fucking messed up on keeping the act up and tried to save himself from being a fake. Comparing to my other friend who has DID-- that person, his alters type differently when they front. Each one is different and it feels different. With my ex fp-- they almost ALL felt the same. Also bare in mind he is self diagnosed with DID. He never had a professional diagnosed him. He just diagnosed himself and claims to have DID.

He admitted to basically being an attention whore. He'd do everything for attention (which is why I think his DID was faked. It makes him unique thus giving him attention.) He would cut himself and then make posts about it (pictures of his cutting.) When he'd make a poll on how he should cut, he'd make an option of 'don't cut you weirdo' or something of 'don't do that' and an insult to make people not want to click it. He would then at points, say he would stop cutting for me and his bf, and get all 'I am gonna stop this and get better' then go RIGHT back to cutting after a day. I am also pretty sure he faked all his suicide 'attempts.' It was like DAILY he was suicidal and attempting suicide and it'd stress me out SO FUCKNIG BAD. Like every other day he'd be like 'man two failed attempts already.' And having someone you cherish and care about say they tried to end their lives like... almost every day? I think it's what made ME have my suicidal episode was cuz of how BAD he was stressing me out with his DAILY attempts. But whatever had fronted, was obsessed and I was blinded. Also he would 'isolate' a lot. He would make a status of 'I'm isolating' when that meant 'do not leave me alone' he would tell me. It was basically a test on people to see if they'd still talk to him despite him 'isolating.' He even would get mad at me for not talking to him when he would make a status that said HE WAS ISOLATING.

The BIGGEST thing that made me start to just, become a paranoid mess was... he had a fp that hurt him, so they were no longer a fp, and he kept faking having him as a fp until he was kinda confronted about it. So he had said 'yeah you're not a fp anymore, but I still love and care about you!' WHILE going into our chat saying how much he HATED that person and would RANT about how much he hated them with a burning passion.

And it just got worse-- they would lie to ME about shit I KNOW was a lie. He would blame his neglect on his classes-- yet would be talking to my ex friend ALL the time in vc and be playing roblox with him almost always. I would be FINE if he said 'I just wanna talk to Carni rn' but he would LIE to my face. When I'd offer to practice lines for his acting, he would tell me no, that 'it HAS to be the same person always to practice and they have to be available 24/7.' Which was BULLSHIT cuz 1. His ex fp practiced lines with him all the time before they fell apart. 2. I PRACTICED LINES WITH HIM BEFORE TOO. But suddenly he just, didn't want to vc, at ALL. He wanted to keep me around, but ONLY when he needed me.

When I would confront him MULTIPLE times that I didn't like how I was being treated, he just ignored me and dismissed it AND gas lit me. Saying 'no I'm not and if I am it's cuz of class.'

I was gonna take a step back from our friendship, but then something fronted and severed all ties. At first I was VERY upset that the ties got severed, I was ANGRY at what had fronted and just did that.. but looking back on it now, I think what had fronted was trying to help, it KNEW our friendship was doing me harm, VERY bad harm.. and my obsession with him was harming my friends too, cuz I would neglect them cuz the alter would always just, front when he would be around and it was obsessed.. and I hate that.

I'm glad I'm no longer friends with him... cuz I've just... been doing better mentally... The friendship was poison, and so wasn't whatever alter had formed... And now they're both gone. And now that that alter is gone-- I don't even care about my ex fp at all, or our past friendship. I don't feel empty I just-- my ex fp just feels like a stranger. Getting rid of the alter just... really felt healing.