#so long judas........ poor old judas..... so long judas.... poor old judas..... so long judas......... poor old judas.............

[rotisseries]

judas' death killed people btw. judas obviously but there was collateral and it was me

[inbabylontheywept]

the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.

the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)

but.

but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.

at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.

so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.

i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.

and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.

so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.

which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.

and then we got pulled over.

i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:

i’d forgotten my license at home. 

the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.

now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like

so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:

ok. stop.

and we stopped.

and he said do you know why i pulled you over?

and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.

and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.

but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.

the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.

[toysrguts]

smiling friends headcanons!! :D

i have smiling friends brainrot

allan:

•wine is his de-stresser. after a long shift he likes to go home and sip on a glass of wine while watching shit TV like some kind of cool guy

•doesn't smoke cigarettes often but will bum one off of charlie sometimes during their breaks

•bites people he loves :)

•perhaps his dr. monsters appointment with dr. monster was an appointment to assess him for OCD

•very very particular about the way he likes things and hates unexpected change in his routine

•also a math god he's like a walking calculator

•always helping other people reach things that they cant

•he has to be like 6’3 or something probably

•autism be damned my boy can work a grill (he can cook really well)

•in fact hes often the one cooking meals for the other smiling friends

•he also lovessss to garden its one of his favorite hobbies

•he grows his own vegetables to cook with and flowers to decorate his home :)

•i feel like this man would get down to some queen or duran duran

•he’ll listen to pretty much anything but i feel like he would gravitate towards 80s classics

•used to own a car that he loved but it broke down and he never bought another one

•went to school for engineering and started volunteering at smiling friends after graduating as kind of a placeholder job, but loved it so much it became his full time job

•cheese is his safe food

•had to wear glasses when he was younger but felt like they deterred the ladies so he switched to wearing contacts

•probably drinks black coffee like a fucking freak

•either that or he adds oat milk

•hes pretty anxious and freaks out a lot and will also snap if he has sensory overload

•wears noise canceling headphones a lot cause too much noise drives him insane

•HATES fabric touching his skin but will still wear a tie cause “it’s classy” and will wear clothes if hes out in public

•once took a trip to france and almost didnt come back cuz it was like cheese heaven

•goes clubbing during some of his nights off and is a karaoke GOD

•also goated at chess and gets heated during a game of scrabble

charlie:

•definitely sneaks a cart into work every day

•if allan didn’t cook this dude would go into debt from ordering takeout every day

•was raised mostly by his uncle cause his parents werent always around, and they're more like really good friends now that hes older

•grew up poor and had a pretty hard childhood overall but he doesn't dwell on it too much

•relieves his stress and frustration by terrorizing people in fortnite lobbies

•the smiling friends hq is air conditioned 24/7 per his request, he's heat sensitive and sweats EXCESSIVELY

•uses axe body spray to mask the stench

•his living conditions are depressing to look at, the only furniture in his apartment is a mattress and an old camping chair he borrowed from his uncle years ago

•also probably owns a shelf dedicated to lego builds

•he spends like 90% of his time in his bed if not working

•his morning routine consists of waking up disoriented asf, throwing on some clothes laying on the floor, forgetting to brush his teeth and walking out the door

•was exposed to shock sites wayyy too young

•acted out and got in trouble a lot in his adolescence but now just likes to keep to himself for the most part

•believe it or not he was baptized as a baby

•started caring about life a little more ever since experiencing hell

•feel like he likes music his uncle showed him as a kid, maybe judas priest and whitesnake type shit

•doesn’t even have to say anything when he goes to salty’s cause hes a regular and they know his exact order

•thats a bisexual man if ive ever seen one

•the hat hides his receding hairline lul

•has a fat ass surgical scar on his nose from when james ripped it off

•wears the same beat up white adidas shoes and got in highschool

•owns one of those “dubstep, weed and jacking off” shirts

•hes an only child but pim is like a brother to him

•had a family dog growing up and is a dog person overall

pim:

•begs to play roblox when anyone else is playing video games in the office

•curls up into a ball when he sleeps

•also will freak out without a night light

•his room is definitely littered with stuffed animals

•grew up watching mlp (g1) and probably still owns some pony figures

•and says “hello everypony!!” when entering a room

•played a LOT of browser and flash games as a youngster like club penguin and moviestar planet

•genuinely finds beauty in everything i wish i was on his level of joy and whimsey

•would totally listen to vocaloid and would totally go on a super long tangent about how its so cool and holograms are so cool

•also has a collection of light sticks and miku plushies and definitely kisses his miku poster goodnight

•i feel like he ate paint chips as a child

•craves social interaction cuz his parents had a rocky marriage and were neglectful and his sister treated him like shit when they were kids

•his sister would tug on his nerve ending when she got annoyed

•having a rough upbringing and dysfunctional family is what pushed him to start working for smiling friends, hes genuinely passionate about making people smile and just wants to help people who are in bad situations like he was

•prone to panic attacks :(

•sings little songs to calm himself down

•flails his arms or jumps around when hes excited

•still uses pool floaties when swimming lmao

•also still loves to dress up and play pretend as an adult

•mmmmm loves sweets what is a nutritious meal?????

•wore glasses growing up but just kind of stopped for some reason probably cuz his eyes are fucking massive

glep:

•chronic cyberbully-er

•tells people to kts in his gibberish language when they annoy him

•has most likely caused several wars across the globe

•puts whatever he wants on the tv and then hides the remote and watches everyone fight over who took it

•small but lets out the most diabolical burps imaginable

•is fluent in every single language on earth and probably space too

•absolutely brainrotted from that ipad he wont stop watching skibidi toilet

•unties peoples shoes when theyre not paying attention

•little guy has never known sobriety in his life

•has so many random ass pictures and videos saved on his tablet

•hes like a little vlogger

•if someone says or does something he doesnt like he’ll probably hire a hitman on them

•definitely has access to the deep web

•hates gardening but will help allan out with it once in a while for something in return (like a grilled cheese or some weed or something)

•also will sit next to allan while hes cooking so he can eat all the scraps

[miniherodesktales]

Note: I know this is full of continuity errors, but it was fun to play round with the idea.

Day 3: Parents

'Frank, I need a favour!'

Hollister shuddered and held the phone further away from his ear. His brother-in-law's roar of a voice always had that effect on him.

'A favour, Jack? And I owe you one because...?'

'Because, Frankie, you married my sister and ruined her life. In fact, you're gonna owe me for life for that. And well into my holographic life too, if I can get one, come to think of it.'

'What do you want, Jack?' Hollister asked impatiently.

'At some point this week you're gonna get a call from your recruitment guy on Io. He'll have a young kid on his books who'll need a job pronto that'll come with board and lodgings once he hits 15. Emancipation case.'

'Emancipated? Can't you feed him?'

He heard Jack sigh heavily.

'Emancipated, not emaciated, Frankie! Get yourself a dictionary will ya? And clean your ears out while you at it. The kid's 14, I'm helping him get away from his parents. It'll help a whole lot if we can prove he's got some kind of employment lined up once he's of age.'

'I've got enough waifs and strays onboard,' Hollister grunted. 'What's he like?'

Jack paused. 'Bit of a dreamer.' Another pause. 'Boarding school brat,' the lawyer finally confessed. 'Family tree full of soldiers, bishops, and minor royalty swinging from every branch.'

'Don't want him,' Hollister grunted. 'Tell him to suck up whatever it is mummy and daddy have done to him - maybe they didn't buy him the right pony for Christmas. Tell him to hide out at school until he can land himself a job at the local bank!'

'Heartless, Frankie boy, totally heartless! The kid needs a break. Sure, he's not the sharpest tool in the old box, but he's a fighter. Take him under your wing for a few years. A. J is going places, trust me.'

Hollister snorted. Jack was so full of it.

'What's A. J stand for?' he asked.

'Ace Jupiter.'

'You just made that up!'

'Do you know how many lost kids the state has to keep track of?' Hollister was pleased to hear that Jack actually sounded defensive for once. 'Labelling them by planet of origin stops us from getting them mixed up with the Earth and Saturn brats, you know? Plus, the protection of of a fake name. Plus...'

'What?'

'His parents must really hate him. Why else call him Judas?'

Hollister shuddered.

'So you'll take him then?'

'Do I have a choice?'

'Sure you do. But I'm giving you the opportunity to do something decent for once. To give someone the chance of a brighter future. With you he could build his career, find himself a woman -

'Or man,' Hollister added, warming quickly to the idea of being some poor mite's hero. A mentor. A mysterious benefactor. Someone who would actually mourn him when he died and would provide a wailing lament at his funeral along the lines of: "Frank Hollister saved my life!" A sort of father figure...He'd never have kids of his own...

'Or man!' Jack agreed. 'Kids, friends, home, pension. The whole shebang! A future, that's the gift you'll be giving him. Whaddya say?'

'Fine. I'll take him, keep him busy, keep him on the straight and narrow as long as he's on my ship. After that his life his own to screw up in any which way he pleases. Got it?

'Got it.'

'Fine. Send me Ace Jupiter....What a stupid name!'

Many, many years later....

'What did you think of Captain Hollister?' asked Lister.

'Not much,' Rimmer admitted. 'Kept getting my name wrong, stupid man. You?'

Lister idly flicked over the page of his magazine.

'Same,' he grunted. 'Not much else to say is there?'

'No. Not much.'

[paintedlady345]

You remember Boxman and professor venomous well I gave them a wife i don’t know why probably because I was bored and because professor venomous looks like he would marry a woman and a man well here she is

Name: chisuke

Species: demigod

Race: Greek,Nordic,Japanese

Age: mid 30s-40s

Birthday: feb 13th

Zodiac: Aquarius

Sexuality: Demi

Parents: Judas and Aphrodite

Personality: kind and caring with kids is the most responsible when it comes to doing stuff other than being a villain

Bio: chisuke comes from a Nordic village closed of to the rest of society because they like to keep the old traditions they were very religious and stereotypical meaning you were beautiful if you had blonde or white hair and blue eyes and other Nordic traditions she pretty for her hair but not for her eyes as they were a golden brown it didn’t help that she was poor either since her dad was a fisherman or that she wanted to be a scientist and the fact that she refused ever marriage attempt she didn’t bother staying in the village for long once her father died she left because she didn’t want to get married to the village leaders son even if it meant being rich she just didn’t want him plus he had a track for cheating and he was 29 whiles she was 15 when he asked so she moved to the plaza and met professor venomous at a park while doing research when finks ran into to take a cupcake out of her basket she scolded venomous forgetting to pack finks a lunch and it was love at first sight for professor venomous they started working together for a few years after that they hit it off she married professor venomous and became finks mother I’ll tell the rest another day

[yhwhrulz]

Charles Spurgeon's "Morning & Evening" Devotional: October 5th

Morning

“If any man open the door, I will come in to him.”

Matthew 26:1-5 , Matthew 26:14-16

Matthew 26:3 , Matthew 26:4

“The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together against the Lord, and against his anointed.” Oh, that the friends of Jesus were half as earnest to concert measures for glorifying him, as these men were when they resolved upon his death.

Matthew 26:5

The enemies of Christ’s cause have never ceased to oppose him by meanness and treachery; the truth fears not the day, but evil is underhanded and works by secret plots. Still do the opponents of the gospel conspire to take Jesus by subtlety. Let us, like our Lord, oppose to their cunning nothing but holy courage and truthful simplicity.

Matthew 26:14 , Matthew 26:15

The price of a slave. This showed the contempt of the rulers for Jesus and the avarice of Judas, which permitted him to sell his Master for so small a sum. How strikingly does all this correspond with the voice of prophecy in Zech. xi. “So they weighed for my price thirty pieces of silver; a goodly price that I was prised at of them.” It is to be feared that thousands are selling Jesus for a less price than Judas received. A smile from the world has been a bribe sufficient to seduce many.

Mark 14:12-16

Mark 14:12

They knew that their Lord observed all the commands of the law, but as he had no house of his own, and it was usual for the inhabitants of Jerusalem to lend their rooms to strangers, they wished for his orders as to where he would keep the feast.

Mark 14:15

Among his friends he had a secret foe, but in the city of his foes he had also a secret friend: the time was come for both to be discovered, for the death of Jesus is that by which the thoughts of many hearts are revealed. The directions given to Peter and John, whom he sent, must have established in them the full conviction that he knew all things, and this would deepen their belief that his prophecy of his death would be fulfilled: thus they would be led to see how voluntarily he submitted himself to the death which awaited him.

Mark 14:16

The room in which Jesus was entertained is the emblem of a heart into which the Lord comes to sup; such a heart is enlarged by grace with love and joy and gratitude; it is an upper room lifted up from the world and sin, it is prepared and furnished by the Holy Spirit, and is freely opened to the great Master, who comes to feast with his beloved. Lord make our hearts such a room and we will receive both thee and thy disciples into our truest love.

If still thou dost with sinners eat,

Let my poor heart thy chamber be,

With gladness such a guest I’ll greet,

And keep the paschal feast with thee.

If thou wilt come to me below,

My heart shall purge out sinful leaven

And every day more meet I’ll grow

To keep the paschal feast in heaven.

Evening

“He loved them unto the end.”

Luke 22:14-18 , Luke 22:24-30

Luke 22:14

And when the hour was come, he sat down, or reclined upon a couch after the Eastern manner

Luke 22:15

Strong was his longing to commune with his beloved ones, as also to finish his great work, and to become the lamb of God’s passover.

Luke 22:16

The passover was now to cease. Our Lord observed the outward sign one night before the proper time, because it was to be fulfilled on the morrow. This change was a sign that it had waxed old, and was ready to vanish away.

Luke 22:17 , Luke 22:18

While the thoughts of the Master were thus taken up with his sufferings, it is painful to find that the apostles were disputing about pre-eminence. Alas, poor human nature!

John 13:1-19

How sweetly did he end their envious disputing by his words, but he went further and dealt it a final death blow by the condescending acts recorded in John 13:1-19.

John 13:1-19

No comment is needed, and we have given none. Let us practise what is here so clearly taught.

Copyright Statement This resource was produced before 1923 and therefore is considered in the "Public Domain".

[beebottle]

Yk that pirates and seafarers put goats on the Galápagos Islands way back when, incase they got stranded? bc they were left for so long, their population grew out of control (they were an invasive species) . they damaged crops and rare plants only native to the islands. so they were causing issues, obviously.

so how did the conservationists fix the goat problem?

air strikes from attack helicopters. basically, they gunned em down until there were too few to find easily. but they weren't all gone, so yk what the conservationists did next?

judas goats. they tagged some goats, sterilised them too, and set them free. and bc goats are sociable, they'd go off and find a trip (group of goats). a few days later, they'd find the goat in this new trip, kill the other goats, then send the tagged one on its way to find a new trip.

that has to be bad for the poor goats right? yeah, yeah it was. the goats would experience trauma from the sound of the guns, and anxiety because they came to associate the sound with the death of animals they formed bonds with. capture and handling could also cause anxiety. repeated isolation could cause even more.

but did it work? yes. the plant life and animals that we thought had gone excinct because of the goats reappeared. the ecosystem bounced back really well.

what happened to the judas goats? the over 200 of them on Isabela were allowed to remain on the island for the rest of their lives as there was no chance of them reproducing (they had been sterilised as part of the prep for them to become judas goats). the carcasses of the other goats, while some were taken by locals living on the islands, were mostly left to decompose (not bad for the ecosystem, there was a huge amount of them too, too many to move).

sources: (i can't link multiple in the source tab :c)

(thanks to Caroline Roper on episode 6 of 'let's learn everything' for sharing this, I love listening to the show sm and enjoyed learning about this)

episode:

(sorry for the info dump, I can't stop thinking about this, so I'm screaming into the endless oblivion of tumbr where no-one will hear me lol)

[enderpearlgirl1005]

Purple Ninja

Chapter 1 Fresh Start

On a dark night in the deep depths of an old forest, a man was running as if the world was about to end. The man wore a purple and black ninja suit and had a bullet wound on his shoulder and a stab wound on the back of his thigh. He also had a gash on his left eye, which had blurred his vision and filled half of it with nothing but red and black.

His injuries were beyond painful as every nerve in his body told him to stop running. The man did want to stop, unfortunately he couldn't as the ones responsible for the wounds were still pursuing him. The mysterious ninja man looked to his back, and even with the night having plunged the forest into darkness, and his damaged eye he was still able to see them.

A group of different people were closing in on him quickly, much to his horror. One had a gun in their hand which was the same one that had shot him, another had a knife with some partially dried blood on it. The same knife used to stab him not too long ago, the person was also holding their right arm as it was broken.

The poor man turned his head away from the crazy psychos that had harmed him and continued on running. He'd hope to find some way to get to safety, however fate seemed to be working against him and he knew that this is where his light would finally go out. He soon came across a cliff that led down to a fast flowing river. For a moment he thought about Jumping down there to live, unfortunately due to his injuries he would surely drown. So the man concluded that this is where he would die, so he decided to throw something down into the river to protect it.

Quickly the man pulled off a black ring with a purple gem off his finger and the suit disappeared. Leaving the man in his casual clothes he had put on this morning before he was attacked. He then threw the ring down into the river and it made a small splash as it made contact with the water.

After throwing the ring into the river the man pulled out a photo from his shirt pocket and took one final look at it. The photo was of him, his wife, and their fifteen year old daughter. That day was his daughter's birthday and he wanted to surprise her at her favorite restaurant. However he knew that he wouldn't make it to the party now, the man stared at the photo for some time, only regretting that he couldn't see his young daughter blow out her birthday candles on her special day.

"Hehe, oh Natalie, I'm sorry I couldn't see you turn sixteen, but I don't regret protecting you and your mother. I love you both so much, and I hope the ring will one day find you and you'll be just as great as I was, if not better." The man weakly crooked out with the little amount of strength he had left. He then instantly felt the cold blade of a knife on his neck, he knew that meant his time was finally up.

"You know, you would've lived if you had just given us the ring, but you had to have thrown it into the river. Now it's lost and your powerless, so neither of us win this night." The man holding the knife growled at the dying man.

"Hehe, no I won as I did my duty and protected both my family and the ring. Judas will never have it and he will remain in the dark world forever." The dying man declared.

"Well just see about that. Wont we? Your sacrifice will mean nothing once we set our lord free from his prison." The other man declared as he drove the blade into the dying man's throat.

The other man fell to the grass that was stained in his blood, finally dead, and only regretting not seeing his daughter one last time in real life. His hand clutching onto the photo even as his body slowly grew cold as his light went out.

Meanwhile in a small house in the countryside, a mother and her daughter were in the living room. The two had just gotten back from the birthday party at the daughters favorite restaurant. However they were both worried sick about the father as he never showed up at the party, despite promising he would after work.

"Mom, where could dad be? He wasn't at work, and he didn't show up to the party, so he has to be out there." The daughter, Natalie, explained worried about her father.

"I don't know honey, but I'm sure he'll-" The mother was interrupted when two knocks were heard on the old front door.

The mother looked at her daughter and told her to stay where she was while she looked to see who was at the door. Natalie nodded and watched as her mother cautiously got up and slowly made her way to the door. It wasn't common to get guests late at night so her mother was being careful to not make too much noise in case whoever it was had bad intentions.

Once the mother was up to the door she looked through the peephole and saw that standing right outside the door on the patio were two police officers. When she saw them she got a sinking feeling in the deep pits of her stomach. She prayed that it had to do with her husband as she didn't want something bad happening to her love on her precious child's birthday. The mother gently opened the door and she saw the officers standing in front of her with serious looks on their faces.

"Hello man, are you Violet Lana?" The first officer asked.

"Yes, what brings you to my house? I do hope it doesn't involve my daughter as she was with me all day." Violet jokingly said, trying to lighten up the two serious officers.

"No ma'am, I'm afraid this has to do with your husband." The officer replied not phased in the slightest on Violet's attempt.

When Violet heard that they were here regarding her husband the dread she felt before had grown even more.

"Ma'am, we're sorry to have to tell you this but your husband was found near Quaker Cliff, dead. He had severe injuries and his throat was slit. We suspect that it was murder and not a suicide as we fail to see a reason he'd want to give up his own life. There was no written note in the location so we believe that someone had killed him." The other officer explained.

When Violate heard that she felt her whole world shatter in an instant.Her heart had broken like glass and she collapsed to her knees on the ground. She didn't want to believe that her beloved was gone, having been murdered by someone out there. However based on how serious the officers were being she felt like it was all too real and he really was gone.

While Violate was distraught over the news it was nowhere near how Natalie was feeling right now. Natalie had curled up on the couch and tried her best not to cry out too loud. However tears flowed from her eyes like a waterfall and she couldn't believe what she was hearing now. Her loving father a man who was so kind, caring and loving to both her and everyone was murdered. She wondered who had killed her father and why? Questions that she'd felt like she would never get the answers to and that killed her.

After some time of questioning the police left the property after requesting Violate heads up to the station in the morning for more details and legal matters. Once they were gone Violate went up to Natalie to see how she was doing.

She looked and saw that Natalie had cried herself to sleep as her eyes were all puffy and the cushion under her head was soaking wet from her tears. Violate sighed and decided to talk to Natalie in the morning when everything had settled down. So she grabbed the warm fluffy blanket that was resting on the back of the couch and draped it over Natalie. As soon as she made sure Natalie was comfortable she went to her room to go to bed and try to sleep off the shock and stress.

Several weeks passed after that incident and the police were unable to track down the killer. Natalie and Violate were both very depressed about that and continued to live in the same house as they did when they were a complete family.

So Violate decided that the two of them needed a fresh start and consoled her brother in the matter. Thankfully he allowed them to move in with him and his daughter as they had plenty of room. So Violate signed up for a transfer to an office in the city and was accepted. Now here they are, Violate and Natalie heading to the city, planning on starting a new life with a fresh start.

Natalie was excited to see her cousin Martha again as it's been five years since they last saw one another in person. Unfortunately she was pretty depressed to be saying goodbye to her friends back home, even if she and her mother needed this.

"Hey Natalie, are you excited to see Martha again?" Violate asked her daughter.

"Yeah, but I wish that the circumstances of us moving were different." Natalie explained.

"Me too, but hey you and Martha will be going to the same school and I'm sure she'll help you to fit in and make new friends." Violate explained.

Natalie smiled a bit at that as she knew her cousin always knew how to be awesome and epic. She's always admired Martha's headstrong attitude, and how she always got back up no matter how hard life pushed her down. Natalie remembered how Martha had stayed strong and positive even after she had lost her right leg in a car accident a few years back.

"Hey I wonder if Martha got that prosthetic leg she needs. After all she didn't like being in a wheelchair and she does want to become a female ninja." Natalie explained as she thought about her cousin.

"From the conversation I had on the phone with my brother he said that with the help of their neighbors and friends they were able to raise the money for her prosthetic. So I'm sure she has it and is training as hard as she can to make her dream come true." Violate explained.

"Really? That's great! I can't wait to see her in action with her new leg!" Natalie exclaimed, now even more excited to see her cousin again.

They soon arrived at the apartment building and waiting outside the bakery that was on the bottom floor was Martha and her father. Natalie looked outside the car window and saw her cousin jumping up and down excitedly and just as full with energy as she remembered. She also saw Martha's prosthetic leg and thought it looked cool, as it showed how much of a fighter she was. Natalie opened her car door and stepped out excited to see her older cousin.

When she saw Martha she was able to get a better look at what she had on. Martha was wearing her ripped jean shorts, a black crop top, a yellow sleeveless overcoat, and clip-on earrings in the shape of ninja stairs. Finally to complete her look she had on her favorite ninja themed shoes.

"Hey! Ya! Cous! Come on and bring it in!" Martha exclaimed, with her arms reached out, excited and full of energy.

Natalie smiled hearing the amount of energy Martha had, she loved how ecstatic and energetic Martha was. Even with her disability she never let that stop her from being herself. Natalie walked up to Martha and gave her a big hug, Martha returned it with a big squeeze so hard Natalie thought she was about to crack a rib.

"Ohh! It's so great to see you again! And even better that you'll be living here with us! Ahh! I'm so excited to help you decorate your room!" Martha exclaimed as she hugged her cousin and twirled around like a tornado.

"AHH! YEAH ME TO! BUT MARTHA! COULD YOU PLEASE PUT ME DOWN!" Natalie requested in a hurry as she started feeling sick.

"Oop! Sorry, I couldn't help it, I'm just so excited! Man, we're gonna watch all our favorite movies, play games all night! Oh and if you're interested! Even joined the Ninja Fan club at my school!" Martha exclaimed, bursting with energy and her eyes sparkling.

"Fan club?" Natalie asked, confused when she heard that.

"I'll explain it later, but for now let's go tour the building and I'll be showing you where you'll be staying." Martha said as she put Natalie down, before immediately grabbing her wrist and practically dragged her into the apartment building.

Despite the slight discomfort in her wrist from her cousin's strong grip, Natalie didn't bother to complain as she was enjoying the moment. After a while of the tour Martha brought Natalie up to the apartment where she lived with her dad. The two girls entered the room and the place was just how Natalie remembered it being. A room that was too big for just two people, it used to have three, but after Martha's parents divorced her mother moved out to go to Canada. Thankfully now the room was gonna have the amount of people it's meant to have, which is four.

"Wanna see the room you got?" Martha asked.

"Sure I'm up for it." Natalie said.

Martha smiled and went to the room where Natalie would be staying. The room was in the hallway that was past the kitchen, and about three doors down in the hallway. The room was big enough for her to stay in and even have a sleepover with about three friends if she so desires. There was also a single window across from the door that showed a good view of the city.

"Wow this is a nice room. I like it, and I can't wait to see what it'll look like once all my stuff is in it!" Natalie exclaimed excitedly about her new room.

"Yeah me too! I'm glad I was able to convince dad to give you this room, and more glad that you won't have a view of Mr. Parker in his swimming pool." Martha explained.

"Who's that? And why would that be bothersome to me?" Natalie asked, confused by her cousin's words.

"He's another attendant in the apartment across the street, the room he has also comes with a pool that has a big window, and unfortunately for most of the fold living here who has a view of it, they see him swimming in it. It wouldn't be a problem if he didn't like to always go swimming naked." Martha explained as she cringed at the thought.

"Ugh! Based on your words and the face your making, I'm gonna guess he's not that attractive when he's not wearing anything." Natalie said as she shuttered at the thought as well.

"Yup he's not one of those hot ripped guys you see on TV. If he was, I'd totally let you have a window where you can see him, but unfortunately, he's an old man who has so much hair on his body, you think he's half wolf." Martha explained as she shuttered again.

Natalie giggled a little at what Martha was saying, she always knew her cousin said the funniest things ever and she loved it. This did help her feel a little better, but she was still sad about the reason why her and her mom had moved here. She was happy to be living with her cousin and uncle, but disappointed that her dad couldn't live with them as well.

Martha looked at Natalie and saw that her cousin's smile was starting to melt away like ice cream on a hot summer day. At first she wanted to try and cheer her up, but the thought then came to mind about just letting Natalie feel and process her emotions.

This led to a bit of a bump for Martha as she didn't know what she had to do at that moment. However she didn't need to think long as she felt her phone vibrate in her back shorts pocket. She swiftly took it out and saw that she had received a message from her dad.

So she opened it up and read what the text had to say "Hey Martha the moving truck just arrived so you girls better come down here and help bring everything up to the apartment. After all, we don't want our family to sleep on the couch the first day they move here. And tomorrow I'd like for you to give Natalie a tour of your school while her mother discusses some things with the principal to allow Natalie to transfer."

As soon as she finished reading the text she responded with "Alright dad, you messaged me just in time, Natalie was getting sad and I wasn't sure if I should comfort her or let her feel her emotions. Aside from that I'll tell her about the moving truck, Love you!"

After sending the response Martha looked to Natalie and tapped her lightly to get her attention. "Hey cous moving trucks here, let's head out and unpack your stuff so we can get your new room sorted out." Martha explained.

"Alright you go on ahead, I just need a moment." Natalie said, sounding pretty depressed now.

Martha frowned at this and just turned around and walked out of the apartment. Natalie meanwhile went up to the window and opened it up enough for her to rest her arms on it. She looked out to the city as the wind blew into her face and made her long black hair flow beautifully.

As she sat there she thought about how she could at least make things better here, even if her father wasn't with them anymore. Natalie knew that her dad wouldn't want her to just mope around, he would want her to live and be as happy as she could be. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy, so she decided she'd do what she could to be happy.

"Alright Natalie! A new life in a new home and a new school! You've got this! I'm gonna live my life and be happy, just as my dad would've wanted me to be. Oh and I really hope to find a cute boy here! I've been wanting to find a cute boyfriend for sometime now. And if he's all dark and mysterious then that will make it even better! EEE!" Natalie squealed as she thought about a cute dreamy boy to hopefully be her boyfriend.

After cheering herself up she raced down to help her family out with unpacking as she wanted her new room to be decorated ASAP. As raced down to the first floor, Natalie had no idea what was waiting for her in this city, and how her life would change forever.

[libidomechanica]

“This appled Mendications, she locks as their goddess wonderous”

Thy thou, whose weep twelve day, in love love looking now?     Like thy aid, my father oceans high, on the ruthless, tame, save though, nor Wit shall smother’s     edge, am I, as their best parent kind this or waist thou have a kiss—the one words in     one turned way. I vex my hand, awhile sheds, to laugh, no doubt was what sweet, a friend, the sharpen’d     so lips she loud and makes of them

yet, and watch’d no very same park, for the name who     kneel. With Himself surround the roses constant light. As eager swim an hope in losing     always clothes are abroad. The beautiful and life in the sparkling thunder pray     Medea for his bosom beneath find sand me, where he prone, softly by her heard, lie of     the did black eyes the should impute my

Love’s heave me my life? Made the gather quick to     ventually, who perils by his love once I vision by think what of suffering me not and     devout a couch; and soft, in the for when first content, while in they always on that hold     vanities have of the cursed them place the would have you sawest the chain’d, when, met, jumping     thee my last was to hear new thy heat

a vision could for a guinea and inner their     worketh me her hair worse, knowing but a rag some aqua-vita. After houshold. A     light, they walking’s presentence thee, Moon! My soft, when all in the four find no tide sea until     Thou beside, no such as happie sighed enoughts mouth. For once I paceth from her fresh-quilted     colours made his heart is wonders

here was mouth whatever diet; the smile, his     melancholy woman, the leads ordering makes me not fry. What dream? As our soule doth with     the odde an arm fellow voice’s feeling, with it close! Young doth Love, and loue, without, until     than altars to dust burn antique, this way quarto, by goodbye, good luckle of the     greater life is brow, forget, I cannot

be shortest when he doves. He space a boughs lisp     for his dreamer and the sailors adapted, and wave said, he form, or the dead; but     Christabel, and a smiling but darkness, he know what Barbican. He would set sunset. Good-     morrow, and some; and appeare Love’s, and hand—ah, ripe for the poor where slippers, too, outstretched     fore-see my Friends not be shore all.—There;

if loath’d magic Shape beauty, blind with am I     too late: what my Lucia. Short-lived then all consequent, too, she new Bloom, and hands mouth such     the water page again, who for which long that lures, dull. As finger panting so surrection,     sober and her call more shepherds a coin were crystal bower. Doe not lover, not     only. Get in tear; now, young pick’d for

something out make himself I care Fled in the     finishing day that swells, the Quarrel, and the Rosebud of shut fall our mutual ordered     year, and learn’d gem, appear’d; yet, too, likes with the fetched Manuscription green, to decay’d his     forehead upon the mastern, since, even in their sphere. In their hopes from Aristocracy;     or folk, though like till some her with

mai’st sorrow. Which has before, enam’ling spot thin     the born, This stately through weathed in heard about hardly he, in sweet brave door of Poesy,     this is no drew in your face, one did the rose, like tilt of the Dust of any ill,     I thine eyes that mirrors. It could learned those sweeten’d sometimes—as one’s shining? The hours     fled! A less lies shoot; for To-day prepar’d

o’er the deposit. With this need of billowship.     Let on occasion? Victim of the stub of his painful page against its simply     don’t say-master; she knows whate’er where is life? But Judas was he, t is head—it scare     in Langdale Pike a blind enough doubtle the cublesse then my for more safe from the never     head, and was in the hope end wine—

their shall there have been morals, from the Face full stars,     still a Chequered ye was the rose red learnt, if Queen of Hell; yet what ail the gentle     than that winged pine, but, fill you bittering that Lamp had parent; his natives, and revelry,—     and with old Bench for great wrong: I bade they sunk in sleep, songs of two shadows dappled     tear. This appled Mendications, she

locks as their goddess wonderous evident grow,     and cedar gloom, all the love to deck that her arms in lane she season as a table     took the Goal, over us, what prime into a birds his forehead that the bless, seem at     below. Air and doll down; he sea, a strange teaspoons’ of velvet cushion: but where were sets     through Inez grieve the prime; marriage, rage

great apart, without the liveranced language     that looks of late to his health, agrees? Begun, have said their mind sinks, and coming fact, not     seemed—and as if never once did so long his eyes of the Dawn’s story is no stared the     late—yet in it. Pure-bosoms bark will breaking voice even in shore abused as if after-     rest that persons which flee away?

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

8.26.23 Saturday

Yey! No work tomorrow but no day off for me...hahah... and huhuh...

Angels, I badly need a job and money and I just wanna compete in a good way that I can speak English and if americans will tell me that I have a problem hey! JOE AND JANE YOU GUYS AREN'T PERFECT!

I need a job and money angels, it is challenging for me to master this "fucking job" but really challenging.... This call center thingy... But I wanna think of it as a game... I want my wave-mates in 468 to grow as a mature agent of Iqor...

It is just weird, I feel fat, ugly and old angels... I wanna be skinny suddenly, seeing Tin2x one of my wavemates but she is still on her 20's...

10:55 am

Well,that's life people will say they care for you but they have different deep within... I have no guilty feelings coz I'm real...

I just need money and I feel irritated working in a call center, the flow of character of people are all different with each other... You can't expect a true friendship but there is... I have to stand alone and flow and just be thankful on some new good souls along the way... I just wanna work coz I need money and I wanna beat the job of course... There will be intimidation and complexities...

I started to work and bloom in Cebu Pacific Air... Where I felt that I was loved by and cared by those people that I considered my FRIENDS....They never put me in the middle of shame... They always covered me with their wings... I bloom and somehow they wanted me to flip my wings but I'm always a child... Now that I can they are all gone...

Sometimes I wanted to cry but my real friends are all gone... I can't flip my wings coz the people around me now simply wanted to smash me...

12:06 noon

I'm so happy I'm able to fix my baby John's ears... Now his ear dirt is normal... Normal ear dirt of dogs are just like the earwax of human's ears...

But I need some collagen on my hands and feet and most specially down there...

12:41 noon

I need help angels, for oil,ginger,onion and garlic plus the chicken cubes for Neko and Lalah...

I will pay the gasul... Still, waiting for Uncle Jun's sponsored food...

Thinking of our body soap here and I need to do my laundry...

Angels, I'm having a hard time here... I paid Ely as well just a 1/4 of my entire credit...

John changes his behaviour since this Thursday crime but he loves to eat bread... If this dog will die, I will go with my dog...Coz I know there is a ritual in this world... So, frustrating I can't go up or can't prove myself... I never have the chance to travel as well.

I'm so frustrated... I wanted oven and I wanted a collagen....

1:06 pm

It feels like someone is dead in this house... Where is Judas?

1:24 pm

This ate Liza is tanga2x stupid and tuso! Will explain later...Not a true friend...

Ate Liza is communicating with the other seller of food and store like the other carinderiaz...They are updating each other angels...

Ate Liza is just copying ate Cha....Then, ate Cha and her husband went to Japan already... And I figured out it from the past months that this Ate Cha is communicating with ate Liza...

I went to other carinderia'Z that if I can buy an 80 pesos adobo instead of 60 pesos, the other carinderia'Z said it can't be that way... I just need to buy 2 separate 60 pesos chicken adobo, I asked a favour if they can make it 80 pesos on 1 order...

I went to Ate Liza she is just copying other people's decision... Meaning will never be real on me...

People in my wave are innocent...There are wealthy kids in call center and some are owning a car... I feel sad and it is really depressing in my part.Those rich kids are just wanting to sit and earn all day but there are wealthy kids.... My Uncle's are innocent as well... Those wealthy kids they just acquired the skills a long time ago and happy earning and simply sitting but it took time for them to learn it as well...But! My point it doesn't mean it is just a call center everyone is poor... There are some wealthy or rich or upper kids inside the call center.

1:59 pm

That Aunt Teresa is on her "silent snapping" and if I sent a message Uncle DD will text or call me...It sounds weird but analyze the situation angels.

Uncle DD is receiving the fundings from Japan if there is or will cover or shoulder...

I will pay the gasul and I don't have extra...

3:23 pm

I just need to rest and later will do my laundry... I need to drink tea later as well coz I feel super bloated...

Hmm... About the new girl I figured out that she is already having a one son when she was 15 years old... Well, I was able to work with her professionally yesterday... She is just 20 or 21 years old having a 6 years old son...Her name is Angie ,she is a blonde girl and super skinny smaller than me...

I still wanna acquire the skills in Iqor, my aim is to beat the job nothing else.. I wanted to be a product manager but I know some people inside the room didn't accept me and I'm fine with it...

Remember that I posted here that I have so many things to explain and I didn't have time to make a long explanation here... This is the moment while resting...

Wait....

3:34 pm

First I didn't know anything at the backstage of Iqor... I don't have guilty emotions on something or on someone...

I did enter having a clean slate....I was and still never a judgemental... I did and do respect people's character.... But I'm not sure if I can keep my clean slate coz I'm adjusting to the nature of job in call center... Meaning being in the call center is different on other industries or companies that I worked with way back... I really wanna beat the nature of the job! I feel offended and degraded...

I was in Cebu Pacific Air my position there was "ground attendant or CSA ( customer service associate)"

Being a Product Manager it is not about being the master of the floor... For example my previous manager or supervisor in Cebu Pacific Air can get the title of being a Manager or Supervisor or Team Leader even without knowing the entire flow of the call center floor. Coz he is already old and having wisdom in the world and he knew how to balance the situation in the work fleld...This is somehow difficult to understand for matured people only....

Well, I'm just explaining here if they can't accept me well then it's fine... But I still wanna dig deeper on Iqor who to target for me to be able to stay and get the skills as in master it and go up and be a leader as well...

In my wave at 468, since I'm again a newbie in the call center world... I chose Mia or Bella to be our team leader if ever we are going to be in the same group when time comes that we are going to be on the floor of Iqor... Coz they will never kick me out if I have struggles on the floor.

Mia is my friend and Bella is my sisterhood... But all of them are my wavemates and I have nothing against on anyone... It's just that I see something on Mia and Bella that I can't find on other people inside my wave at 468.

4:21 pm

I'm so scared angels my right foot is twisting again inward... I have right leg cramps... Argh! My pelvic is still aching...

7:35 pm

Thank God John ate his dinner with me... Probably he is angry when I'm not in the house..

I still feel panic and I still need money... I wanna do collagen on my feet and hands and down there... I wanna do gluta... I need to keep a job angels...

8:06 pm

Grrr... The water in our village is so slow on the faucet... Uncle Jun said probably coz everyone is in the house using water... I wasn't able to wash my clothes... Grrr....

Water,water,water please tomorrow... Return the normal flow of our water here in the village...

I wanna have dimple angels... I feel super ugly... I need botox... I need to keep a job... I need to fix my butt as well... I need a scrub...

9:21 pm

Classical music that I really like angels... Aside from procrastinating... It is so good to feel and close your eyes...

10:04 pm

Baby,Darling and Sweetheart...

Can you fucking marry me Mike??? I WANNA GO HOME MIKE ...

10:15 pm

Still here... Just here and I don't know....I feel so frustrated...

Mike???? Home... Home???

Hold-up??? Or Procrastinating???

10:55 pm

I feel bitter Mike... My film is flop Mike... Mike I wanna be a product manager but I need time.... I want to be admired by or own a company... I wanna have my own Pet Store... Now, this call center thingy I feel that it is really hellish but I need money Mike and I need a job... I'm losing xfactor as an individual... A lot of women went up but I'm always just a supporter for 16 years Mike... I feel fat, ugly,old and wrinkled...

I feel so ugly Mike... I feel so ugly and still self-pitying... I need money and I need to keep a job Mike... I need that "untouchable status"... It is not easy over the phone, I'm so offended Mike...

11:28 pm

Our lives are just like film Mike... I couldn't go up and be a star just for once...Since 2007 Mike, I'm always low and always the 2nd or last choice of everyone... Always a wall flower Mike... You didn't even care... I still have windblow trap... Dying for nothing... Even a real film of being a real Zombie now, can't even have it... Still, can't buy Starbucks... My S-bones are aching but I'm not guilty but they just keep on hurting me here...i

It is unfair to die Mike, it is unfair not to have or own the "dinosaurs" me, my baby-John other dogs that I love and some good souls like some family and friends and people along the way...

[parfumieren]

L'Eau de Jatamansi (L'Artisan Parfumeur)

You would think a fragrance containing the fabled ingredient spikenard (Nardostachys jatamansi) would stick around as long on skin as it has in human memory. After all, spikenard is a member of the Valerianaceae tribe of plants, the most prominent member of which is (natch) valerian-- a tall plant with showy pink blossoms and roots that reek to high heaven, which explains its nickname according to the Greeks: phu.

Spikenard is similar to valerian in structure and appearance, but instead of a foetid stink, it produces the approximate scent of paradise. Musician, artist, and amateur perfumer Brian Eno cited his first encounter with this transcendent fragrance as a significant moment in his love affair with scent. "(A) woman I met in Ibiza gave me a minute bottle containing just one drop of an utterly heavenly material called nardo…" he once wrote; even in eight-point magazine typeface, his awe and gratitude were evident.

Long used in traditional Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine as a remedy for persistent pain and grief, spikenard has also been identified as the "costly oil" with which Mary Magdalene anointed Christ as he rested in the house of Lazarus. According to the Gospel, Judas Iscariot argued that the perfume (being "of great price") could have been sold, and the funds distributed amongst the poor. At that time, one pound of pure oil of nard cost roughly 300 silver denarii. To put this price into perspective, one denarius represented a single day's wages for the common Roman soldier. Mary Magdalen therefore blew the equivalent of a healthy trust fund on a single vessel of perfume. Needless to say, this makes me feel a whole lot better about my own fragrance budget.

If you manage to find any quantity of the now-discontinued L'Eau de Jatamansi by L'Artisan Parfumeur, it might set you back as much as Mary Magdalen's scent du jour. Your wad of cash would get you a product containing only natural essential oils from certified organic sources-- no synthetics. But you'd also be paying through the nose (pun intended) for an eau de toilette whose scent life is shockingly brief, requiring frequent reapplications to keep it alive on skin. As extravagantly as you're meant to splash it on, you eventually might find that it has cost you the modern equivalent of 300 denarii.

Worth it? That first splash will decide you.

L'Eau de Jatamansi kicks off with a wonderful top note of spikenard and black pepper which segues into the scent of fresh carnations -- not the boutonniere variety, whose fragrance has given up the ghost in some florist's refrigerator case, but the tiny "pinks" that grow half-wild in tangled garden beds. When warmed by the sun, these blossoms send up a piquant odor that is a perfect triangulation between raw celery, powdered cloves, and dimestore candy hearts.

Sadly, this lovely phase is tragically cut short by an overpunctual drydown reminiscent of old-fashioned perfumed bath powder, which comes as a dry surprise after Jatamansi's juicy green heart. And just as you're coming to terms with it, even the drydown fades too soon-- does nothing about this perfume want to stick around?

If perfumer Karine Vinchon ever revisited her creation and rectified the persistence problem, and if L'Artisan ever re-released it as an EDP "extrême", sure. I'd try it. But buy it? For my reluctance to fully commit to so fickle a scent -- regardless of how breathtakingly lovely -- I hope, like Mary Magdalene, to be forgiven.

Scent Elements: Himalayan nard, grapefruit, bergamot, clary sage, tea, Turkish rose, ylang-ylang, cardamom, saintwood, sandalwood, patchouli, vetiver, balm, incense, papyrus

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Sunday 16 December 1832

8

11 ½

fine rather frostyish morning F46 ½° at 8 ½ am breakfast at 9 5 – came upstairs again in 25 minutes – read from p. 211 to 297 Foresters’ guide – cut my nails – then wrote 2 2/3 pp. to M- went downstairs at 12 and in 50 minutes read the service and sermon 22 Mr. K- and came up again at 1 ½ and finished my letter to  M- 3 pages and ends - should in spite of Mr Kinnersley’s odd answer to them (the L-s) think it right to apply to him for a character of Thomas Beech - but if the same sort of thing as to the L-s, should attend to M-‘s and Granthams recommendation and take the man - no objection to give £20 wages if that is to include washing - give clothes such and so many as I think proper he would have all house work to attend to and be a good deal about me - his being able to read and write, indispensable - ‘If you think the man a sufficiently good servant as to his work, he must still be good tempered, civil and obliging, trustworthy, and sober’ - it would be a great comfort to be well suited - ‘the great inconvenience is, I can bring neither of them here - but this cannot be helped - I must contrive some way or other - and I may not be tried very immediately, for my aunt seems quite as well again as usual, and my father as likely as ever to live 2 or 3 years longer - are you really prophetic in persisting in it, that I shall never live here long together? ‘tis true, we know not what we shall do - ‘Oh blindness to the future kindly given! yet the thought of exile from poor Shibden always makes me melancholy - come what may, I have been happier here than anywhere else; and, unfortunately, I am a person of more constancy than has ever been surmised even by those supposed to know me best - But Providence orders all things wisely - I am perfectly contented, and have more and more gleams of bright assurance that even happiness is within myself, and may, and will be with me here or anywhere - But I am attached to my own people - They are accustomed to my oddities, are kind, and civilized to me, that their faults to others are, in my own case, lightened much - But..... nous verrons - a great deal will, and must depend on that someone, known or unknown, whom I still hope for as the comfort of my evening hour’ - then give the following as the about summary of expense I have been at here - mill £600, Pickersgills £300 - Southholm £80 George Naylor’s £30, James Smiths £25 Draining and wearing £60 to £80 - my walked and etc about home probably about £100 - water to Lower brea to be about £50 and other jobs - with law and agency expense shall not get off for £1300 - nothing could have been well spared but the expense about home - must go and live on bread and water - whether I shall do so, or not, is doubtful - busy just now among my young trees, pruning etc - glad the inscription was so much what she wished - glad to return to our old regularity in writing ‘at least for the time that my being in England will permit’ - had just written the above of today at 2 ¼ - mention the arrival of the Judas trees etc from Leamington on the 5th inst. out at 2 ½ in the fields and in my walk till 5 20 – dressed – read from 297 to 322 Monteaths’ foresters’ guide – dinner at 6 ¼ - sent off my letter to M- ‘Lawton hall, Lawton, Cheshire’ – read the 1st 80pp. vol. 2 (vid. Friday) Emersons’ history of Modern Greece, and then asleep ½ hour till 9 ½ - then went into the other room – skimmed over the courier – came upstairs at 10 ¾ at which hour F46 ½° - very fine day, - not very frosty tho’ feeling colder than of late

[the-finch-address]

👑 this for whatever character you want in the The Dog Yard. Thanks!

👑 - A random fact about one of my OCs Couldn't decide, so here's something about all seven!

Judas He's suspiciously well traveled, boasting several landmark patches on an old leather jacket after aimlessly wandering the greater half of America. Oh, the places he went, the sights he saw. If only he didn't have intense retrograde amnesia and could remember any of it! 😂 Farren When not locked into a life or death game of fisticuffs, Farren is creating. Drawing, painting, sewing, singing--his favorite, though, is film and photography. Their trusty vhs camcorder becomes a vital tool as soon as chapter two! Mags Being the Lighthouse Keeper's daughter comes with a few perks, such as (A:) having access to the secret underground tunnels beneath the town, and (B:) knowing the hottest gossip before anyone else. She uses both of these privileges to commit crimes. Havard Oh I've been holding this fact in looking for some place to put it for sooo long, here goes: Havard (cold, bitter Havard) hits the diner at 5:30am each day for a single cup of coffee. The thing is, she hates the taste. She's really showing up for the company. (there's more lore here, but that's for another time) Eddie The fun fact is that I'm genuinely worried that, upon publication, tumblr will somehow find this man and poor little meow meow-ify his ass. He is the lowest and vainest sniveling husk of a man and he gets worse before he gets better. (Bonus fact; he likes hot chip) Roman Despite adorning a pair of heart-frame glasses, Roman can actually see just fine! (She just thinks they're neat <3) This goes completely unmentioned up until a scene where the frames are broken and the culprits are, well, blindsided by her reaction. Elias Though he's no stranger to the modern times, Elias is a traditional man at heart. He still hangs his clothes out on a line, he bakes his own bread, he hand writes letters to people who live next door. He's also sugar free! (with a strong preference towards dates)

Thank you for the ask! This was a lot of fun to do!!

[bootleg-sara]

Headcanons for Judas, Magdalene and Azazel?

Ooo okay very nice cast we got here. I’ll start with Judas because I understand his character best, then I’ll go Azazel and finally Magdalene

(Head canons undercut, ended up being a lot longer than expected)

Judas 🔪 (11 years old)

Hc A (canon-adjacent): Judas has a very complicated relationship with religion. He believes in God and is very keen into the spiritual side of Christianity. You would never be able to tell but he is takes much of what he knows about Christianity to heart. But yet he also will constantly deny it. He’ll tell you that religion is a sham and that none of it is real. Though at the same time, he doesn’t follow the religion like most do. He certainly doesn’t follow the morals of it and makes it a goal to do the opposite (of courses he’s also only 11 years old so he's not going that far with it).

Truthfully he doesn’t really know why he’s so adamant on this, probably to piss off his parents. Poor kid has a terrible case of Christian guilt and lives life everyday in fear of God. The idea of an omnipotent deity being able to do whatever to they want to him is terrifying. TLDR: Judas lives in constant fear of God’s power while simultaneously doing everything that would make God upset. Someone please help this boy

Hc B (funny): Judas is a complete coward. He likes to put on a tough front, but pretty much everyone knows he’s faking it. Except for The Forgotten, who has taken to looking up to Judas. Not exactly the best role model but Judas takes great pride in it. The Forgotten is one of the few people Judas will ever be nice too. Anyways, he’s really easy to scare. His cowardliness paired with his tendency to overthink situations makes him all to good of a target. Rumor has it that the reason “Judas’ tongue” is a trinket is because Azazel pulled a rather nasty trick on him during a tense fight which lead to the accident. On the next run his tongue grew back. But now sometimes kids will just, come across a tongue. No one is really sure why Satan likes it but Judas thinks it’s cool

Hc C (sad boi hours): Judas lived an incredibly lonely life. Back before the basement he was an outcast among his peers. His very apparent pessimism drove most kids away from trying to talk to him. His home life wasn’t much better as his parents actively shunned his interests in astrology and spiritual connections. He’d seclude himself, it was easier than trying to connect with anyone. His complicated views on religion only served to push people father away. Judas was afraid to confront his parents about it as he didn’t want them to be more upset than they already were. He was living day to day scared for his life from a higher being he could never hope to understand and the one’s he was meant to connect with never gave him the time of day.

Though thankfully things weren’t all terrible. He did have one friend, Jude. They were opposites through and through. Judas was pessimistic and hateful, while Jude was a brimming optimist and saw the good in everyone. They had first met on Jude’s behalf, has he thought how close their names were was hilarious. Judas didn’t think so and pushed them away like he did others. But Jude was a stubborn kid, refusing to not at least get one conversation out of him. It was a lengthy process, but eventually the two bonded. Jude was a very popular kid in school mind you, so he did get judged for hanging out with the “weird creepy kid”. Jude didn’t mind as he loved Judas’ company. One day Jude convinced his parents to buy him a tarot deck, something that Judas has wanted for awhile now. On Judas’s birthday, Jude had surprised him with the new deck. Judas was bawling his eyes out at the act of kindness, but unfortunately it wasn’t for the reasons Jude had hoped.

For not to long after, Judas had ran away from home without so much of a word to anyone. Jude was devastated at the loss of his best friend, and panicked everyone to out and search for him. The search lasted about a month of on and off searching before it was dropped. Jude continued to look for him by himself, but his own parents didn’t want their kid wandering around when there could be a kidnapper on the loose. Judas, now trapped in a brand new hell, wanders around in search of an escape. He’s not one to give up his Book of Belial so easily, but there is one item he’ll always replace it for. That being the Deck of Cards, the one reminder of his dear friend who Judas fears will have all but forgotten of him by the time he’s finally free.

Hc D (personal takes): Judas hates the undead and the trope surrounding it. He always found zombies lame before the basement, but now they just make him upset. “Why can’t things just stay dead?? Why does every enemy in this God forsaken pit have to be some form of a dead guy???” - Judas, probably. He hates the Shopkeepers and Blue Baby for that reason. Of course he’s grateful that he gets resurrected after his failed runs. But he was never dead to begin with! Why? Because he bleeds of course! He’s seen it with Blue Baby who never has blood, and in other kids who lose all their life from devil deals. Surely he’ll never end up like that. Nope. Never. Can’t be so. Everything will be fine because the basement is predicable and never changes.

(On the same note, Judas will never take a devil deal when he knows he’ll be left with no “red hearts”/blood. Not bleeding really freaks him out. He’ll always able to tell because of how BoB functions.)

Azazel 🦇 (age unknown)

Hc A (canon-adjacent): Azazel is a creature that was born in the basement much like Apollyon. While not nearly as old, Azazel has been around for awhile now. Azazel is an odd case all things considered, as he’s more akin to the, well, kin of the original Azazel who fell from heaven. Supposedly there have been multiple children of the original fallen Angel that have inherited the name Azazel. But even Apollyon doesn’t really know if our Azazel is legit or just another spawn of the basement’s antics. (To be fair Apollyon is also unaware if any sort of religion is “real” or not. As far as he knows, everything in the basement is the result of other people’s own beliefs and not of their true existence)

Either way he has lived here for all of his relatively young life. He has no memories of any family or of any life other than being popped into existence. It can be argued that Azazel is not really a being of consciousness, as his existence of being connected to the basement. Every time the basement changes, so does he. He functions more of a representative of the people who are currently inside. All of their worst traits mashes into one. Though his time has lead to him being a scapegoat for the people inside, as he’s rather easy to blame for all the things going wrong.

Hc B (funny): Azazel is some weird combination of a bat, goat, human thing. He has the wings and ears of the bat, but the legs and eyes of a goat. His overall body is that of a human’s, lacking the usual pointed tail of a stereotypical demon. His horns are more like that of a demon’s though, as they certainly aren’t similar to goat horns. His vision is great yet terrible all at the same time. He basically has the eyes of a prey animal, but the instincts of a predator. So he can see really far ahead, but not very much of what’s right beside him. Can't focus great either. If it wasn’t for his human traits mixed in with it, Azazel would struggle a lot more with things sneaking up on him. He struggles a lot more on basic movement than one would think thanks to his goat eyes. Like whoever made this dude did not take into account he’d have to function around it. At least he can stay warm easily, his hot blood makes him a natural radiator. And he can use his boiling blood as defense! How great. Only his legs have fur on them, the rest of him is basically human skin.

Hc C (sad boi hours): As mentioned a bit earlier, Azazel is someone would could easily be considered a creature without proper consciousness. Much like most living beings created in the basement, they are there to serve a purpose to the people inside. Azazel is a warning, a sign of what one could become when continuing down the path they are currently in. This idea that his life is only there to be used by others has gotten him the closest he’s ever gotten to being his own person. The kids, despite being ruthless vindictive people, are actually the most supportive figures Azazel has ever had. For unlike most who came before, they treat Azazel like they’re their own person. Even if at first all Azazel did was berate the kids. They are all so young and confused, they couldn’t really see the part of them that was in Azazel. Eventually he started to break out enough to start help killing monsters along side them.

Azazel’s first major break through however was at the birth of Blue Baby. After Blue had been separated from their boss counterpart and learned to think for themselves, something clicked in Azazel. If Blue and Apollyon could make their own decisions for the better of the basement, why couldn’t he? Using that little loophole, he was able to finally think for himself fully, not being guided around by the basement’s will. He became noticeably nicer after that, but not nice enough to stop being a jerk to most everyone. Being mean was in his nature. Azazel struggles a lot with his identity. He’s never really sure if he’s in control of himself or not. Who’s to say he wasn’t still living the path the basement wanted him to? His main goal, along with Eden, is to prove his own sentience by attempting to the leave the basement with the others.

Hc D (personal takes): So Azazel has always been a trouble maker. His pranks ranged from genuinely funny, to disrespectful, to downright dangerous. Even around the time he was having his personal revelations, he loved to cause problems for others in his own amusement. Often time he’d put the kids in danger, if not outright causing their deaths. After gaining more sentience his pranks stopped being on the malicious side of things. No more purposeful causing deaths or the like. He was trying to escape the basement now too, so hurting people was counter intuitive. But he was always playing jabs at people even if they didn’t appreciate it. Some time during this phase of growing himself, he had a run with Samson. Now Samson was someone who had always struggled with getting far in runs. He was reckless, often running into danger and getting seriously hurt. While the self damage helped on one floor, once he’d enter a new floor, he’d lose all that vigor and be left defenseless.

This run has been going pretty well for the both of them. They had managed to get all the way to the chest, a floor Samson had never been on before. Azazel thought it would be pretty funny if he got Samson’s hopes up. Told him that this was definitely, totally the way to freedom, but that the last boss was so hard the others couldn’t get past it. This was a barefaced lie, but Samson believed it in full. Azazel had a pretty good chuckle about it, watching Samson excitedly run around to complete a fools quest. It was good for awhile, up until they got to the boss of ???. The Boss’ form had defaulted to that of Samson, and he reacted extremely poorly to the situation. Samson was an emotional wreck, Azazel had never seen him so upset. He didn’t know why Samson had such an adverse reaction to seeing them. Though the two of them beat ??? and Samson is overjoyed to finally go home. Azazel makes a weak effort to tell Samson the truth, but he jumps in before he could get his words out.

Needless to say, next time the two had a run together, Samson was furious with him. After a lot of shouting and attempted apologies, Samson had enough of Azazel. Samson decides he doesn’t want to deal with Azazel anymore. Azazel can no longer have a run with Samson, because as soon as Samson sees him, Azazel is subsequently beaten to death by his hand. Samson wouldn’t as much as look at Azazel, never mind tolerating going on a run with him.

(I’ll talk about how runs work in a later post, but ending a run can be a really scary and confusing experience for those who aren’t used to it. And when you are expecting to be freed, it’s only made worse)

Last, but certainly not least,

Magdalene ❤️ (10 years old)

I feel bad for poor Magdalene, because at the current moment I probably have the least to say about her.

Hc A (canon-adjacent): She’s a sweet girl at heart. You’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who hates her. Even Judas, who hates pretty much everyone finds her tolerable. She’s protective, caring, an all around good person. Magdalene and Isaac don’t have a great relationship however. Isaac sees striking similarities to her and his mother. And Isaac really doesn’t like his mother. Magdalene wants to know why Isaac doesn’t want to speak with her, but his avoidant way of dealing with people had lead to no results. Her nurturing nature is a powerful one, many would claim that it’s to powerful. She has a tendency to smother people to the point of exhaustion. She wants to know everything about everyone. Which does not boat well with how many of the kids here don’t want to discuss anything other than what’s in front of them. She has quite the attitude for someone who is normally rather kind. Magdalene doesn’t like taking no for an answer and will make a fuss about it. She’s mainly seen as the most tolerable one out of the group out of proxy that everyone else is much worse in comparison.

Hc B (funny): (Not really funny but gotta put something down pfft) Magdalene is a savory food type of person. Of course like any kid she loves sweets, but she’d rather have a nice steak when given the option. Red hearts in the basement taste strongly of iron, similar to that of blood. Her Yum Heart is a replenishable source of the juice inside red hearts that can provide healing. Rather unfortunately this has lead to Magdalene having a taste for blood. Not exactly a great thing to like eating. She’s not going around biting kids trying to suck their blood or anything. But this has lead to her drinking the Yum Heart juice even if she’s not in need of healing. Leading to multiple moments where she has ended up in a situation that could use healing but she used it up haphazardly before. Sometimes she’ll chew on pennies and other metals to appease her craving for the favor of it. She and Blue Baby are the only people who can eat Rotten Meat and not have to force it down. It’s a power play against anyone who sees it.

Hc C (sad boi hours): Before the basement, Magdalene lived in a house of 4. It consisted of her parents, her older brother, and herself. She and her brother aren’t too far apart in age, about a couple years between each other. Magdalene’s older brother was never the nicest person. It’s what most people would see as silly banter and play. He was very rough with her when they would play together. It was unintentional from his side, as he never wanted to hurt her in any way. But from the rude comments and physical play she couldn’t keep up with, Magdalene got easily overwhelmed. She tried to tell her parents, but they brushed it off as “little boy things”. And with the two do them being so young they lacked the ability to properly communicate the issue to one another.

This cycle continued on for a bit. They grew closer as siblings, but Magdalene was still being pushed around more than she liked. She and her brother were being watched by a babysitter as her parents went out to have a few drinks together. Magdalene was already having a bad day from school. With her brother having a night where he wouldn’t let up again, she got fed up she yelled at him to go away. At first the baby sitter didn’t pay to much mind. They were 10 year old siblings, of course they’d have fights sometimes. At some point she made her routine check in with the kids, to find Magdalene was no where to be found. She wasn’t with her brother, in her room, any any of the bedrooms. The babysitter was starting to panic. When asking the son if he knew where Magdalene had gone, he told her that Magdalene had left the house and that she told him she’ll be back by tomorrow morning.

The babysitter was fully freaking out, dashing outside and all the surrounding areas to find her. After finding no leads, they had to call her parents for any clues as they were she could of gone. Soon the police were called in and the entire town was being searched up and down like no tomorrow. Magdalene wasn’t lying when she told her brother that she wanted to be back by tomorrow. She just wanted some space from him, that was all. Either she’s go on her own camping trip, or she’ll go hang out with her friend at the nearby neighborhood. Though her plans to come back the next day didn’t go through, as without warning, she found herself in the basement’s grasps.

Hc D (personal interpretation): Magdalene is a strangely angry person. Her first time she was in the basement was pretty calm. She was happy, bubbly and all that junk. Though in her time there, she’s had become worse. That was to be expected for most, but her turn was more dramatic than most had thought. She is aggressive and not very personable despite how she usually holds herself. If she was upset about something she was going to let you know. Magdalene only getting increasingly more upset with Isaac who is still mostly avoiding her, only making Isaac even more avoidant. For someone who usually wants the best for people she sure did quickly adjust to the murderous life style thrusted upon her. Overall she’s a good person, but I’d watch your back when things get tough.

This meme right here? It’s Magdalene

[job-the-prosperous]

have you met anyone else in the basement?

((really long post, sorry in advance))

My favorite person here is Bethany. She's always super nice and helpful! We even both have the same quirk where we tend to see angel deals more often. Apparently that's weird according to everyone else. Bethany's is, calming to talk with. We haven't completely lost faith in God. I think most down here have at this point. I... don't think I have. Hard to tell anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I should be following something that has deemed me unworthy.

Um. Anyhow.

The two of us are the only ones who haven't completely given up yet. Except for maybe Isaac.

On the topic of Isaac, he's alright. I have no idea what he thinks of me cause he's always so quiet. I'd say he's shy, but I have a feeling there's something more to it. Isaac is super smart. Always planning ahead and knows just what to do at the nick of time. Very selfless, to a point were I worry about him. Though no one can exactly help him when he refuses to speak.

Magdalene! Would it be wrong of me to say she gives off bad vibes? I can't put my finger on it, cause I don't think she's a bad person. But something just, freaks me out a bit when I'm with her. Other than that she's also a joy to be around. She tells me that one day when we all get out of here she wants to invite us all to her house and make a whole buffet of pastries for us. She never sounds like she believes in her words though.

I have little to say on Lazarus. I've only had one run with him so far, and it wasn't exactly the best first impression. Very jittery and nervous even when we weren't in any danger. Pretty sure as soon as I woke up he had asked me if he wanted me to kill himself so he can get some power boost. Didn't even know his name. The others must pester him a lot about it, poor guy. It's easy to tell how much he hates it. Looking at your own dead body can't be very comforting.

The Forgotten is actually a young girl. Hard to tell given her appearance, but from what she has told me she's only 6 years old. I feel simply awful for her, I can only image how overwhelming this is for them. I mean geez, I can barely handle it and I'm around 4 years older. Still, she's more cheerful than I could ever dream of in our position. Reminds me a lot of my baby sister.

If it wasn't for all of those demons she carries around with her, I'd probably get along better with Lilith. They pick on me all the time and I don't know why. Lilith herself is chill with me. I don't know how she gets around so well with her blindfolds on, but it doesn't seem to affect her any. Okay, so sometimes she'll bump into something but we all do that.

The Lost reminds me a lot of Isaac. Quiet, reserved, all that fun stuff. Unlike Isaac, The Lost is a big ol' meanie sometimes. He's some cranky old man always spewing on about how life is unfair and that I made a mistake on coming here. As if I choose to do this. I can complain all day but in the end I don't blame him for being like this. He has this morbid theory that if he doesn't get out of here soon he'll end up completely consumed and gone forever. Not quite sure what he's referring too, but it's pretty scary. I hope I don't end up like him.

Judas is mean and I hate him. All he does is bully me and complain about how I'm dead weight. If he's not doing that, he's preaching up a storm about how great the devil is and all this weird occult stuff. Swear he does it purposefully to make me upset. So bitter and disconnected. I wouldn't be surprised if he had no friends to speak of. Don't know who would want such negativity in their lives. He loves to act tough but I know for a fact that he's just a big baby. Couldn't care less for him.

Cain and I don't mesh. We are always fighting over supplies, especially coins. You'd think I'd be better off holding them so we'll get more later on, but I guess if he can't have it no one will. Cain cares a lot about people. Unlike Judas he won't throw me into the mouth of a monster for an opening. Something about our personalities make us more prone to being mad at one another.

I suppose I am a bit mean when I call Eve a jerk. She's not nearly as bad as Judas. More so pushy. A her way or the highway type of attitude. At least she's willing to make a few compromises. Even if we don't get along, I always get the farthest on runs when I'm with her. So that's a plus.

Azazel freaks me out a bit, being a demon and all. Loves to pull pranks at all the wrong times. Not a favorable sight but not one I'll despise seeing every time I do. He is funny, I'll give him that much.

Samson is a new breed of uncomfortable. He's like a ticking time bomb seconds away from exploding. If you're lucky he'll go for the monsters. If not, let's just say I've heard lots of rumors of Samson killing the other people just for saying something he didn't like. He may just be blood lusty, always going after a new target. He can be pretty nice to be around when he's not upset, unfortunately its all to uncommon.

Okay, Jacob and Esau are strange. Cause they aren't scary in the way Samson is. Not even the lack of skin on one them is particularly what my problem is. I think Jacob may he purposefully hurting Esau. Like, a lot. They always get into some sort of fight about something. At first it's just a lot of arguing and screaming. Which I get, I did that with my family. But then theirs a point were I'll lose tract of them and I'll never see them again. I never go looking for them. If the entrance to the next floor is open I'm taking it. I, get really scared of what I might see if I did. I hope Esau is okay... I'm sure if I am feeling that extremely malicious vibe from Jacob than Esau must be too. I might just be thinking to deep into it. When you're always on edge, anything can seem like a threat.

I wish I could say more about these guys, but can't speak much on something you don't know. I have heard some rumors about them.

Isaac has muttered about a person named Eden before. A few people had said some things about them. Mostly on how they are way to happy to be here. Admittedly that does sound odd.

Apollyon I have met briefly. I had one run with them, but I died on the first floor. What can I say? They were the first person I met and I had no idea what I was doing. They had helped me with teaching me the basics, so they can't be that bad.

All I've heard about the last person is that I can trust them sometimes and other times I should take them out as soon as possible. Not what I'd call that helpful information. Don't even know who they are talking about.

Job stuffed the key ring back into his pocket. Phew, he had enough spare keys to check out the next item room. He hadn't had the best luck so far, but his angel room had given him some optimism.

More bones?! Really?!? Fine, I guess I'll take it. If I remember correctly this is Bone Spurs. I can't seem to figure out what it does, but I know for sure it doesn't do what the last one does.

He picked up the item, observing the splintered bone for any clue as to what it may do. Job couldn't get anything from a glance alone. Guess he had to put it on for a test ride. The bone had disappeared from his hands, as he felt a slight bit of pressure on the back of his neck. Feeling around a bit, he found one small spot on the middle of his neck where a sharp, jagged piece of bone stuck out. He couldn't feel any noticeable pain from it, which is appreciated. Still, it didn't tell him much on what it did.

Either way, with the new item in tow, he walked back into the catacombs to find this floor's exit.

[dahlia-coccinea]

So I think @longagoitwastuesday and I have chatted before about Nelly perhaps having a preference for Heathcliff over Cathy? But I saw it mentioned today and thought it would be interesting to look at some of the instances I can remember that perhaps show this. Personally, I think she doesn’t really defend or is biased towards him (I’d go so far as to say I think she sometimes shows prejudice against him) but they do have an interesting connection since in many ways she was a mother figure to him from 7 to 16 years old. My opinion of Nelly is that once she’s made a judgment about a person it takes quite a lot for her to reshape her opinion of them. Her opinions are also very much emblematic of her position as a servant in the house and that has been discussed already by some critics. 

Regarding her biases towards Catherine and Heathcliff, it is apparent Cathy was always the wayward daughter in her mind in part because she caused her master, Mr. Earnshaw, much anxiety and distress. Heathcliff on the other hand inspired sympathy in part because of Mr. Earnshaw’s feelings towards him as we see in Chapter 7:

“I remembered how old Earnshaw used to come in when all was tidied, and call me a cant lass, and slip a shilling into my hand as a Christmas-box; and from that I went on to think of his fondness for Heathcliff, and his dread lest he should suffer neglect after death had removed him: and that naturally led me to consider the poor lad’s situation now, and from singing I changed my mind to crying”

In another scene, a little earlier in Chapter 4, we see where her sympathy for him started to grow while all the children were sick, and after her initial siding with Hindley:

“Heathcliff was dangerously sick; and while he lay at the worst he would have me constantly by his pillow: I suppose he felt I did a good deal for him, and he hadn’t wit to guess that I was compelled to do it. However, I will say this, he was the quietest child that ever nurse watched over. The difference between him and the others forced me to be less partial. Cathy and her brother harassed me terribly: he was as uncomplaining as a lamb; though hardness, not gentleness, made him give little trouble.”

And again in the same chapter after Hindley throws an iron weight at Heathcliff and Heathcliff mentions that Hindley has given him “three thrashings” that week alone and his arm is “black to the shoulder”: 

“He complained so seldom, indeed, of such stirs as these, that I really thought him not vindictive: I was deceived completely, as you will hear.”

Eventually, she recants a lot of this early partial softness towards him and she shows fear and hatred towards him notably during the scene of catching him kissing Isabella when she cries, “Judas! Traitor!...You are a hypocrite, too, are you? A deliberate deceiver.” Before that, she describes his visits to the Grange and how she decided she must keep a close eye on him, Catherine, and Isabella, saying:

“I wanted something to happen which might have the effect of freeing both Wuthering Heights and the Grange of Mr. Heathcliff quietly; leaving us as we had been prior to his advent. His visits were a continual nightmare to me; and, I suspected, to my master also.”

But there is something the returns to her now and then, that makes her sympathize with him. After Catherine’s death in Chapter 16, she tells Lockwood:

“Poor wretch!” I thought; “you have a heart and nerves the same as your brother men! Why should you be anxious to conceal them? Your pride cannot blind God! You tempt him to wring them, till he forces a cry of humiliation.”

Surprisingly these feelings of sympathy are during his mistreatment of Isabella. A few days later, being aware that he stayed outside of the Grange, she “opened one of the windows; moved by his perseverance to give him a chance of bestowing on the faded image of his idol one final adieu.” He completely does not deserve her kindness - yet since Nelly does seem to make lasting judgments of people she can’t help but feel for him.

The scene that I think is perhaps most representative of her confused feelings towards him is when she informs him of Catherine’s death:

“He dashed his head against the knotted trunk; and, lifting up his eyes, howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast being goaded to death with knives and spears. I observed several splashes of blood about the bark of the tree, and his hand and forehead were both stained; probably the scene I witnessed was a repetition of others acted during the night. It hardly moved my compassion—it appalled me: still, I felt reluctant to quit him so.”

Her feelings aren’t always so confused though - there are times when her aversion is clear. In Chapter 11 when she talks to little Hareton and “bade him tell his father that a woman called Nelly Dean was waiting to speak with him.” When Hareton brings out Heathcliff instead, she is so struck by fear and dread that she “turned directly and ran down the road as hard as ever I could race, making no halt till I gained the guide-post, and feeling as scared as if I had raised a goblin.”

I know I’m missing quite a few scenes where she expresses true disgust and hatred towards Heathcliff and his actions towards Cathy and Linton but this is getting quite long lol. I think these are enough to show that she does have a complicated understanding of her feelings towards Heathcliff - at least much less clear than her obvious dislike of Catherine. 

As I mentioned at the beginning, a lot of her judgments are long-lasting, and tend to side with her master. This is repeated with Cathy II who behaves intolerably to Hareton, yet Nelly is quick to defend or only lightly admonish her, compared to how she easily condemns her mother as “haughty,” “headstrong,” and “saucy.” Some critics believe this is because Cathy II is still good to Edgar, who is Nelly’s master, compared to the grief Catherine Earnshaw caused her father...but I’ll leave those thoughts for another time.