#it's just that love triangles are so lame | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eyelessfaces · 6 months ago

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I don't love you like I did yesterday

poe dameron x reader

summary: it’s not because he, poe dameron, gives you more attention and affection than your own boyfriend ever will that you are in love with him — loosely inspired by this post.

warnings: angst, complicated relationships, love triangle?, mentions of marriage, break up, refusing a proposal, internal conflict, doubting your relationship, emotional infidelity? if that's a thing, alcohol consumption. reader wears a dress at some point

tags: f!reader, I don't wanna spoil too much and don't read this if you don't want to be but; mutual pining, love confessions, he fell first AND harder, fluff and,, more

word count: 5.6k

yes. mcr lyrics as a title. in 2024. I know. but don't look at me the lyrics strangely fit so,,

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

You don’t love him; you are almost sure of that.

It’s not because you laugh at every single one of his stupid, lame jokes made just for you to laugh and because you blush everytime you catch him staring at you from across the room that you love him.

It’s not because he, Poe Dameron, gives you more attention and affection than your own boyfriend ever will that you are in love with him.

It’s not because your boyfriend blames you for being too close to him that you are.

It’s not because you wish it would have been Poe down on one knee proposing to you that it is the reason you told Kass you’re not ready for this yet.

And it’s not because you question your situation every single night that it means you have to change anything about it. You should be happy with Kass. You are.

Yet, you wish you were certain of all of that.

It has been two days already, and the guilt keeps eating away at you, like a bacteria gnawing at your feelings, particularly starving for the reasonable part of you that knows you said no for your own well being.

Kass makes it worse; the dark glances thrown at you whenever you bump into each other during the day and his lame excuses to ditch you whenever you want to talk to him make you feel like a monster, and though you know that it is exactly the way he wants you to feel, you can’t help it.

The situation is hard to swallow and bury deep in the back of your mind when you’re out on missions, and though you rarely ever get distracted because you know how important attention and concentration is in your job, the whirlwind of thoughts has been floating over the surface, and your focus has been off, you know it. And you’re not the only one who knows it.

Your head turns when you feel a light nudge at your arm, having dismissed Poe’s presence in your peripheral vision due to your distraction. His eyebrows raise when you look at him, and he gazes at you like the mist of your thoughts is still present over your face and he wants to shake you awake.

“You alright?” he asks before you look back at your squadron wrapping the mission equipment, setting it back in the ships.

“Yeah,” you breathe out, burying your hands in your pockets. You should feel alright. The mission went well despite your clear lack of attention, and you’ve given your life to the Resistance at this point, so you should be thankful that you succeed in most things you do in its name, right now even, considering the situation.

Poe looks down on the floor, kicking away a small rock there that dribbles down the hill. “You've always been an awful liar” he mutters under his breath, not buying it.

“Right” you scoff, your head dropping to shake it. He looks back up at you and you can feel his insistent gaze upon you, which eventually makes you break. “I don’t wanna bother you with my stupid problems”

He snorts, “Come on, you know I’m always here to listen to your stupid problems” he says playfully, nudging your arm with his elbow again. “That are often not that stupid actually” he adds.

There’s a silence settling between the both of you, and right before Poe aborts and figures you don’t wanna talk about it, you sigh. “Kass proposed.”

“Oh” the sound slips from his mouth, and accurately represents his surprise, his voice dropping a bit from the shock. He doesn’t know what to say, not really. This situation would have been on the list of things he would have never expected or even considered to happen.

This eventuality had never, ever occurred to him somehow, not yet, and now, all at once, the fear creeps in and becomes real; he is going to have to watch you get married, going to have to sit there amongst guests, he’s going to have to watch you be happy with someone else than him.

But he wants you to be happy, with or without him, so he will watch. It isn’t like he has the choice, anyways.

He lightly clears his throat, trying to dismiss the tight knot starting to form there, and smiles. The worst thing about it is the fact that it is genuine, he is truly happy for you. You deserve this.

Maybe Kass doesn’t, though. He doesn't deserve you. You’re too good for a half assed mechanic like him that, from a professional point of view, fucks up too often to still be there; but from what Poe hears around, it tends to be the same on other levels than just the professional one.

“Well, that’s great! Congrats,” his half cheerful voice wavers a little, but you don’t seem to notice as your lips form a polite smile that slightly turns perplexed, uncomfortable. “What’s wrong about that” he asks now, concerned when he sees your frown.

Your teeth graze your bottom lip. “I said no.”

“Oh” he watches as you raise your eyebrows, nodding. “I’m sorry” he adds. “I mean–”

“Yeah” you exhale.

“Why?”

That is the real question. Why? Why wouldn’t you want to marry your boyfriend you are supposed to be in love with? Why did you feel so awful at the feeling of his hand over yours when he shot the question?

“I don’t–” you start, thoughts running around your head. You’re not really sure about what you want to say, you’re not even precisely sure why you said no. There were so many reasons, but you couldn’t pick the exact one. “I think I’m not ready.”

Poe doesn't say anything. You stay there upon the small hill you watch your respective teams from. They’re almost done putting everything back.

You think you want to cry. You’re not really sure why. You think you want to dig a hole in that hill and stay hidden there for the rest of time.

“Poe, I don't think I wanna spend the rest of my life with him.” you mutter, looking ahead as if your confession would make you feel less guilty if you didn’t look your friend in the eye. “Is that wrong?” you ask as you turn to him.

“Yeah, well I don’t blame you” he scoffs, and you do too, knowing how Poe feels about Kass.

You should have known, it should have been a sign. Poe is kind, compassionate, and when he doesn’t like someone, it is because he has reasons to.

“That’s not wrong.” he continues, his tone serious now. “It would have been wrong if you said yes even though you knew damn well you didn’t want to marry him” he nods. “It's not the end of the galaxy if you said no. He'll get over it”

“Yeah” you sigh. “He keeps acting like it's my fault”

“Really?” he asks, raising an eyebrow in astoundment. He shouldn’t be surprised.

“Yeah. He avoids me and sends me death glares like I murdered his family or something” you snort, realizing the stupidity of it all now that you say it out loud. Kass has always been somehow childish, but this exceeds everything you could expect from him.

“Wow okay” Poe shakes his head, a small exhale of desperation escaping his mouth before he speaks again. “Well, you know how I feel about him, sweetheart.”

“I know” you confirm, sending him a weak smile. He answers you with a pinched one, and as your squad finishes their tasks and starts to gather together, Poe reaches out and squeezes your shoulder reassuringly before turning to join them.

He turns back to you quickly, “You know what? My squadron is having drinks on Coruscant tonight to have some fun before we leave for the week. You should join us”

You nod and watch him go, and feel the need to take one fat fucking breath before eventually joining everyone else.

—

Even though it is almost dry by now, the stain over your dress is still ridiculously visible. If the girl that had spilled it over you earlier hadn’t profusely apologized for it you would have most likely have had a go at her because of the awful mental state you were in – you were yourself surprised to notice how blatantly dismissive and weary you had been of that incident – it had been nothing compared to the past few days you just had.

Poe looks over at you, your gaze planted onto your glass of Black Hole as your fingers absentmindedly drum against the table; your choice of drink says it all, and though you might want to get properly drunk, Poe is strictly against it if it means you plan on moping all night long. He finishes his drink, planting a hand over your shoulder as he leans closer to you.

“Wanna go dance now?” Poe shouts in your ear, trying to overlap the loud music blasting. You scoff and shake your head, “I’m not really in the mood”

“That's exactly why we need to,” he affirms with his usual charismatic grin as he takes a hold of your hand and pulls you to the middle of the room anyway. “Come on!” you give in when you realize he’s not really asking, dragging you through the crowd. “You know I'm leaving tomorrow morning, you owe me a dance”

“Okay” you laugh as you put your hands over his shoulders, his coming to rest at either side of your waist.

You move stiffly at first, your eyes rolling playfully when Poe gives way more energy into it than you do, and despite yourself, you start to smile, and make an effort to match his energy.

Poe spins you around, his movements confident as he tries to cheer you up. "Just follow my lead, okay?" he says, his voice warm and encouraging. He twirls you under his arm smoothly, and you can’t help but laugh as he dips you dramatically, catching you with ease; he’s intimidatingly close to your face before he leans to your ear. “See? I’m not an awful dancer”

“Is there even something you’re not good at at this point,” you rhetorically ask as you both stand straight again, the movement making your head spin a little because of the alcohol.

“Following orders, probably” he jokes, still swaying with you. You laugh and let your forehead rest over his shoulder, your eyes shutting as you take a deep breath; it might have been the only moment in those past few days where you genuinely let go of all your worries.

“Hey, we should go outside, it’s hot in here. And loud” Poe proposes as you both still sway, his hand gently cradling your back.

“Sure” you nod with a smile. “Wait– I’ll join you there, I’m gonna get us drinks”

There’s a grin plastered over his face and a glint in his eyes as he glances at you when you join him outside, your drinks in hands. The cool night air is a welcome change from the overwhelming warmth inside the cantina.

“What?” you scoff, looking down at yourself, trying to figure out the reason behind his amused expression.

“Nothing” he shrugs off, taking his drink from you, but not before you catch the way his eyes linger on you.

“It’s the stain, isn’t it” you whine and sigh as you pull at the fabric of your dress to observe it. “Didn’t realize it looked that stupid”

He giggles as his mouth is still full of his drink. “It’s stylish” he admits with a cheeky grin.

You scoff and roll your eyes, your giggle fading as you both take a sip of your drinks, the silence between you comfortable as the muffled hum of the cantina’s activity buzzes just behind you. Then, out of nowhere, just as you’re about to talk again, Poe breathes out your name, his expression changing, becoming more serious as you glance at him expectantly.

“I’m in love with you.” he blurts out, like words are falling out of his mouth from being held there for too long.

You huff out a laugh. “No,” you laugh, the taste of your drink still warm in your throat. You frown a bit when you notice he doesn't waver, doesn't flinch, doesn't drop his expression to admit this is some kind of joke now that he knows it's not working on you.

“Yes I am” he declares, as serious as he is when he needs to be in his job.

You chuckle, still not fully believing what he's saying. “Are you drunk Poe?”

“Wha– no– no I’m not” he frowns, his eyebrows knitting together in earnest. “I mean it. I'm in love with you.” he affirms, his eyes searching yours with a seriousness that makes your heart skip a beat.

You pause, taken aback by the tone of his voice – he's sincere, he's not playing around. “You can’t.”

“I know.” he declares with a nod, his gaze never leaving yours. “I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore” he admits as his expression softens. “I don’t want this to ruin our relationship” he says, his voice calmer now. “And I know you can’t feel the same” he nods, “And that’s okay.”

You pinch your lips together. You're not sure what to say. You nod eventually, acknowledging it all, processing his declaration. “Well” you say finally, your voice barely louder than a whisper. “I, uh, I’ll go get another drink.”

Your glass is still mostly full.

Poe nods, swallowing with difficulty as he watches you turn and head back inside.

The sounds of laughter as you enter the cantina again make you sick to your stomach.

—

This went awful. He didn’t expect any less. He didn’t expect anything in the first place; his impulsiveness finally got the best of him.

Having to swallow it down and play it like it didn’t happen felt more humbling than every time he has had to admit he made a mistake. Jessika’s story about the maintenance issues with her X-wing is slowly starting to blur, and Poe isn’t even sure she’s still on that topic of that – at this point – one sided discussion, as he can’t help but glance over at you, talking to Karé until he eventually realizes you aren’t there with him anymore.

“Poe!” Jessika scolds him, making him turn back to her. She sighs, “You’re not even listening”

“Sorry” he apologizes, looking around the room to figure out if you’re still there. “I gotta go, keep that story for later” he nods, patting her shoulder before turning away.

“I just finished telling it,” she huffs out in disbelief, Poe’s repeated apology fading with the music as he disappears through the crowd.

You’re not in the cantina, not anymore. Karé tells him you went out for fresh air, and he finds you on the flight of stairs on the side of the building, hidden from everyone.

"I was looking for you," he halts– you're crying; you're there, sitting on the stairs, looking up from where you were hiding your face in your hands crying. "What's wrong?" he asks, his voice wavering with surprise; he thought you were having a good night despite everything, having fun with Karé, he thought he had been able to make you forget about your problems for a moment. But no, and he obviously knows what’s wrong, because he managed to fuck it all up by confessing his feelings for you without thinking about it twice.

You pinch your lips, trying to repress new tears as you wipe away the ones rolling down your face. "Nothing," you mumble, shaking your head. "It's alright."

Poe sighs softly, walking up to you and sitting down with you.

He softly nudges your shoulder with his own, “You're rocking that stain,” he says, a small grin over his face. “For what it’s worth, you could even rock a First Order suit, so,” he smiles as he watches you laugh between sniffles. “You don't have to worry about that.”

He sighs, and his tone grows more serious. "I'm sorry I said everything I said. I shouldn't have burdened you with my feelings" he admits. His voice is filled with regret. He should have kept that for himself, for now anyway. “I was caught up in the moment and I didn’t realize it would hurt you more. It was stupid. It was unfair to you." his voice weakens. He looks back at your face. You blink your tears away silently. “I do realize it was possibly the worst moment I could choose to tell you this”

Poe gently wipes your tears away, before they can reach the bottom of your face.

“I don’t expect anything back from you, you don’t have to worry about that. This doesn’t have to change anything about us”

He kisses your cheek before leaving.

—

If you had to point out positive points about your indirect fight with Kass following his proposal, the fact that you weren’t living with him would be one of them.

The silence in your quarters alone was surely more bearable than the silence that would fill the space if he were there with you, you were sure of that.

And even if it’s been three days already since you rejected his proposal, you have barely talked to him despite going out of your way to try to; he has been hurt by your rejection, and he is keen on making you understand.

You can’t help but wonder if you would have been happier if you had said yes; maybe it would have been easier and maybe you wouldn’t feel so bad even though you still wouldn’t want to marry him, even if it is exactly the way Kass wants you to feel. Maybe saying yes would have been the right decision, after all, and maybe you would be set about your feelings for good with the prospect that you would allegedly spend the rest of your life with him.

Then there's Poe, his words.

Poe and his words that keep rolling around your head over and over again no matter what you’re doing and no matter what time of the day it is; those about the confession of his love towards you, and those that assured you that Kass would get over your rejection, that it’s not the end of everything, not the end of your relationship with him even if right now, it seems like a deadlock.

And almost as if it was staged, Kass steps through your door.

“Hey,” he speaks, hands in his pockets. You repeat the same thing quietly, looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to say anything, apologize maybe. He looks around your place before chuckling, pointing and walking over to the table. “It’s just– I forgot my gloves last time I came here and I need them”

“Oh, so that’s it.” you snort darkly, following him close.

“Yeah, that’s it.” he mutters nonchalantly as he picks up the pair. “What do you even mean” he frowns as he turns back at you, shoving his gloves in his jacket pocket.

“I mean you've been avoiding me all week and you think it's okay to casually come here just to pick up your stupid pair of gloves?”

“Well, they’re still mine, so” he shrugs. “And again, what do you want me to do”

You frown. “I don’t know, maybe apologize for your attitude for these past few days first. You’ve been childish”

“I’m childish? You’re the one who’s not ready for marriage.”

You chuckle in disbelief, “Yeah well, I’m sorry for not wanting assured long term with someone that behaves the way you do.” you say, looking at him in the eyes though you would rather be looking everywhere but here at the moment.

“You know,” you start, readjusting your position onto your feet. “I’ve been wondering, asking myself all of those questions, what was wrong with me for rejecting you.” he looks at you, hand still stuck in his pocket, waiting for you to make your point.

“And that’s what you wanted, right? But the one thing I really asked myself was ‘Why did he even propose’, because you don’t even care that much about me, so I don’t understand” you shake your head. “You shouldn’t have asked the question if you weren’t ready for the other answer”

He sighs, eyebrows raising slightly as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I shouldn’t have asked at all, you’re right.” he scoffs. “I realized that, and I should have realized when we started to drift away” you frown softly, waiting for him to continue. You’re not sure what he truly means beyond that. “I asked you to marry me to be sure”

“Sure of what”

He chuckles and huffs out your name like what he means to say is evident; “You’re in love with Poe” his eyes soften, his expression relaxing as yours hardens. “Don’t try to tell me otherwise or I’ll go crazy” he laughs nervously.

“Look, I get it. He looks pretty damn close to perfect. But you should have done something about it. I shouldn’t have been the one to realize it.” he says. You sigh softly, taken aback. “This is why I’ve been avoiding you. To try to come to terms with it. Accept it.”

Knowing this is the reason Kass proposed somehow makes it simultaneously better and worse. But he’s right; he’s fucking right, you’re in love with Poe and that is exactly why you were crying on those stairs the night before Poe left for his mission, maybe it is time to face it for good and to stop trying to convince yourself that you’re just confused because of everything that has been happening in your relationship lately.

“I’m sorry” your voice is poisoned by guilt. If it feels awful for you, it must be even worse for him. He scratches his forehead awkwardly, not really knowing what to say to you. “I tried to deny it to keep it fair for you. But I think you’re right.” admitting it to him, the man you’re supposed to be with and have feelings for feels even worse than having to realize it yourself. “I’m sorry Kass.”

Kass pinches his lips in a defeated smile, “I can’t hold you back.” he huffs out in evidence. “He is too” he adds after a pause. “In love with you, I mean. It’s so blatantly obvious”

You scoff, shaking your head. “I know”

“So you can work this out” he declares with a weak smile. “I won’t be an asshole about it” he mumbles. “I should be angry but I’ve tried to accept it for a while.”

You nod, somehow grateful he is so understanding, feeling sorry that it’s been so transparent for him for so long. Not everyone would let it play like this. "Thank you, Kass."

He nods in return before sighing deeply, the weight of the past few days lifting slightly from his shoulders. “I wish you well. I mean it”

You nod again, tears welling up in your eyes. “You too.”

Your heart tightens when his look lingers over you before he turns away and exits your quarters; both relief and guilt weigh over you, and the silence that fills your room now feels much different than before.

—

You don’t love him; you are sure of that. It feels wrong and even though you still feel some sort of affection towards him, you’re not sure you can be friends anymore given how you left things off.

On the other side, when Poe hops off his X-Wing ladder after a week of being away, you don't know how to act around him anymore. You don’t know if you should go ahead and tell him everything you’ve ever wanted to tell him or if you should just pick the opposite option and avoid him as much as possible to try to ease your conscience a little.

And you do. You busy yourself with work as much as possible, avoiding running into him as much as possible, but eventually, he doesn’t really give you a choice.

“Are we okay? You didn’t even welcome me back. It’s been four days” it hasn’t even been twenty seconds since the meeting ended; the meeting you spent all your time trying to focus on instead of him.

His stupid flight suit is opened in a way that reveals his gray tank top and lets the chain around his neck slightly peek, and suddenly nothing about the First Order supply depot infiltration matters anymore.

“We are. I was busy” you affirm – you’re technically not lying. Though you were keeping yourself busy on purpose.

“I bet you were”

You frown. “Hey what do you m–”

“Kass talked to me.” he dodges.

“Oh” your voice drops, the idea of that scene so unnatural. “What did he say”

He shrugs slightly. “I think you know”

That’s a good thing they talked, somehow, no matter how much the idea terrifies you. It lifts a weight off your shoulders to know you won’t have to explain to Poe how you left things off with Kass, because you would almost rather get interrogated by the First Order than have to think about it again. “He was pretty mature about it, I’ll give him credit for that.” Poe affirms with a grin, causing you to huff out a laugh. “He also said he's resigning from the Resistance. ‘Says it has nothing to do with you, he's been thinking about it for a while” he nods with a pinch of his lips.

“Oh, okay” your eyebrows raise in surprise. “Well, ships will suddenly do better magically”

He snorts. “I’m just glad I never let him take care of mine. I think Jess was complaining about that the other day” you laugh, and he smiles at you endearingly as he watches you. “So, are we okay?” he asks more seriously, though a faint smile lingers over his face.

“Yeah, yeah, we are.” you nod, weakly smiling back at him. “It’s just been a rough couple of weeks” you admit as he gives you an empathetic smile in response.

“I know what I want but I don’t know if I’m ready,” you eventually declare cautiously, not wanting to hurt him or make him feel like you're trying to push him away. “It has all gone so fast and I think I want things to slow down a bit.” he nods understandingly before being obliged to turn when someone in the briefing room calls his name; he holds his hand up to have them wait and rests that same hand over your shoulder when he turns back to you, his gaze holding yours.

“Look– I don’t want you to jump right into this if you’re not a hundred percent sure about it.” he declares with as much conviction he has when he fights for what’s right.

“This is my thing– to jump head first into everything. That's why I acted the way I did the other night. And it was stupid considering the situation and some part of you probably hates me for it somehow so you have to be smarter about this” he insists. “And I know you will be. And even if it’s in one week or one year or five, I can handle it”

“Okay,” you mutter feebly, his firm gaze over you making your stomach flutter.

He turns back and glances at the person who was calling for him earlier, turning back to you. He hesitates, looking like he wants to say more but is unsure if he should.

“Alright. I got stuff to take care of” he eventually says with a faint sigh, like being teared out of that conversation with you physically hurts him.

“Okay Commander” you grin teasingly. He smiles and kisses the top of your head, your hand instinctively resting over his arm despite your decision to maintain some distance for the moment.

"You know where to find me if you need anything," he says quietly, his hand lingering on your shoulder for a moment longer before he steps away.

You’re still not sure what you really want as you watch him walk away, sending easy smiles to his peers as he reviews details with them for the next mission.

You think about it all over again, as you remain here in the back of the room, leaning against the wall; the way he looked at you, the understanding in his eyes, his patience and willingness to wait – it all seems so easy with him that jumping right in suddenly doesn’t make you so afraid anymore.

—

The sky isn’t particularly clear tonight. One could have picked a more scenic place to come rest to, one where clouds wouldn’t be covering D’Qar’s two moons like a thin, old veil ripped to shreds.

Poe turns at the unexpected sound of boots ruffling against the grass, a small smile growing over his face when you grunt softly as you sit down next to him.

“You lied when you said I’d know where to find you, because I’ve looked for you everywhere before finally finding you out there” you sigh softly, drawing a laugh out of him, his eyes crinkling softly.

He shrugs, “You still found me, so I technically didn't lie” he says with a smile.

“You've got a point,” you huff out, settling beside him. The air is cool, cooler than it has been those past few days. You can’t help your lips turning into a smile as Poe's face softly glows in the faint light of both moons, his gaze gentle as he looks over at you.

His eyes twinkle with amusement when he talks again, interrupted when you shift to press your lips to his, his words quickly lost on both of you. His voice fades into a small sigh against your mouth as his hand immediately, almost instinctively cups the side of your face. Your hands grip the lapel of his shirt tightly, gently pulling him closer to deepen the kiss; Poe’s chuckle vibrates against your lips as you pull away, a slight flush visible over his cheeks.

“What is this?” he asks amused, the look of surprise genuine over his face. This goes against everything you told him you wanted with him for now.

“This is me being smarter about this, being the bigger person.” you affirm in an attempt to sound confident, but you’re still slightly out of breath, your heart racing.

Poe looks at you with a teasing, feigned impressed expression before he goes in and kisses you back, the press of his lips soft yet firm against yours.

Everything around you seems to fade away as you make out for a beat, losing yourselves in this, the soft breeze of the evening tickling both of your faces though your face heats up even more when his thumb traces your cheek.

When he finally pulls back, Poe's hand is quick to find your own, his fingers fiddling and lacing with yours, his gaze on you still intense. “So much for going slow, huh?”

You chuckle, “Yeah, fuck that” you reply with a grin, feeling lighter than you have in weeks.

You both fall silent for a while; it is rare for Poe Dameron to not run his mouth for longer than a few minutes, but the back and forth of his thumb over your hand and your head leaning over his shoulder seems to be enough for him at this moment.

You shatter the silence the moment the question crosses your mind. “What would you have done if I actually married him?”

He takes a deep breath, like the weight of the question takes a toll on him.

He smirks, “This would have probably made me join the First Order” he jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood. You huff out a laugh.

“Honestly?” he asks, his tone serious now. He doesn’t speak, he doesn’t really know. What would have been the best option? The least worst? “I don’t know. But I would have skipped the wedding for sure.” you softly smile at him with a look of compassion, momentarily rendered speechless by his revelation.

He pinches his lips in a weak, beaten smile as he clearly pictures the scene in his mind again, just the way he did when you announced to him that Kass had proposed before eventually telling him you had refused. “Sorry. it would have hurt my poor loverboy heart way too much” he scoffs light heartedly though it’s barely a joke, just the truth.

“Well, next time I get married you’ll be the first person I invite” you promise with a light nudge at him, your hand reassuringly squeezing his.

“Next time huh?” he retorts with a playful smile, one that you mirror before the gentle push of his lips renders you breathless again. “Not if I invite you first sweetheart,” he jokes with one last kiss, your laugh barely audible.

Poe’s thumb traces circles on the back of your hand when he notices your gaze is there now, a faint smile remaining over your face. “Hey” he calls, urging you to look up at him. “One day at the time, okay?” he cocks his head forward, his voice barely above a whisper. “We don’t have to figure everything out right now.”

There’s no rush with him, no doubt, just the certainty that whatever happens, it will seem like the easier thing in the world;

Because you love him; you are sure of that.

—

any and every comment is greatly appreciated!!

star wars taglist: @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @dameronshandholder @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @friedwings @luxisluxurious @stvnnie @dowbastan @il0vebeingdelulu @hammerhead96 @unear7hly @pigeonmama

also tagging people who seemed interested in this from the post related to this, please ignore me if you actually don't care<3 @lotusbxtch @piptoost @klillaah @lounilu @moonpascal

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fic #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fluff #star wars #oscar isaac

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chiiroptereh · 4 months ago

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[Please zoom in, there's a lot of detail! And a massive file size...ouch]

Hi guys, long time no post! Been working on Art Fight and life stuff, but I've got something kinda fun for you.

This is a compilation exploring how a mortal Bill may interact with our world if there were still some kinda Euclidean instincts buried in there. Y'know, before the Book of Bill ruins all my headcanons >:P (EDIT: IT HAS BEEN READ. YAHOOOOOO)

Also quite an experimental piece as you can probably tell. Lots of details on both said headcanons and the art stuff under the cut, but I invite you to study the colorful texture yourself beforehand and think about what it might be representative of, just for fun because I got some really cool answers from my friends when asked :]c

TL;DR: the headcanon is that Euclideans have exceptional eyes for geometry. They find things like symmetry, tessellating patterns, graphs and fractals very aesthetically pleasing. If pushed into our 3D world, they feel comforted by the familiarity flat objects/spaces bring, as well as high-contrast patterns. Shadows especially are a familiar dimensional reduction that may bring them much comfort.

Bill would surely not be happy about these inclinations, constant reminders of a past long gone, but I'm not sure he's even aware of them here :P I think his ego gets in the way to the point where he just views these interests as common sense, which, of course, us lame humans just don't understand because we aren't nearly as cool as him. Of course he likes perfectly symmetrical leaves and staring at the kitchen floor, it's called taste, look it up!

And yet, he can't seem to shake the strange sense of melancholy he gets from viewing his own shadow.

~ End of TL;DR, long version below! ~

🔺 Headcanon Development

So, the catalyst of this idea was in relation to my friend and I's AU ( @love-triangles-au ). TL;DR, Bill's brought back mortal, meets another triangle named Y.V. (it's his hand holding the paper in the piece, actually), at some point they fall in yaois together, you know how it is. And, in writing a pair of triangles (or, more broadly, writing from the perspective of a different species), something I've had to consider was that you really can't get much further removed from a human being than sentient geometry.

The anatomical aspect was mostly figured out (see my piece on Bill's eye-mouth), but I wanted to consider what psychological differences might be at play. I wanted them to be weirder, more alien, double-so for Bill. At first I explored these possibilities through the lens of Bill and Y.V.'s relationship, specifically the question "what might a triangle find appealing about another triangle?"

Well, really the only things that came to mind were straight lines and symmetry, anything related to the geometric form of such a creature. That's more-or-less where that ended until the thought struck me that there's no reason this aesthetic appreciation couldn't extend to the rest of the environment, and then further when I realized, "wait, this is a species that is designed to live in a 2D environment. Like, they should seriously be really weird. I need to push this like 200% more."

So...yeah! I did some thinking and brainstorming with others and came up with a pretty long list of things a Euclidean in our world may be inclined to enjoy or find some level of comfort in. It's worth noting again that in this piece specifically this is a mortal/powerless Bill, so he can't really escape this Earthly environment. IF he's aware of these instincts at all (and that's a big "if"; when have you last been cognizant of your own instincts let alone known where they were stemming from?) I think he'd have snuffed them out in immortality and/or purposefully gone against them; he doesn't take kindly to being told what to do.

In order from left-to-right, top-to-bottom, here's an explanation for each!:

Flat objects such as paper are something he may find particularly engaging. It's basically 2D!

Tessellations are especially fascinating, and our world has them everywhere in the form of tile floors. Symmetry and such a predictable pattern...as the infinity of the starry sky might for us, the infinite potential of tessellations might invoke a similar sense of awe in him. Add on the maximum contrast of black on white kitchen tiles and the forms are only even better defined! A sensitivity to contrast would be very helpful for a 2D being navigating their environment.

Fields are flat and open, much like Euclydia itself. Laying flat may make him feel a little more at home.

More tessellation in the honeycomb of hymenopterans (bees, wasps and friends)! It helps that pain is hilarious.

The city is an absolute treasure trove. Rectangular buildings, precise architecture, square sidewalks and straight lines abound...he may as well be looking at a rainbow or an art gallery! I think a Euclidean's brain is very fine-tuned to mathematics, especially in regards to trigonometry. What may appear to be a straight painting might appear obnoxiously crooked to him.

Zebras are high-contrast :]

Another flat surface, another relaxing space <3

I think graphs are about as high as high art gets to most Euclideans.

I've touched on shadows before, and for good reason; truly they must be something borderline magical to the Euclidean and perhaps bitterly nostalgic.

This one kinda speaks for itself. Dweeb.

🎨 The Artsy Stuff

Lately I've been trying to find ways to fit more color into my work, as color is perhaps one of my favorite things in the world. My wardrobe is rather garish; my dad jokes that you could see me from space. My fursona is obnoxiously bright for a reason -- I feel my soul is a very colorful one!

I also realized recently that I don't actually know the exact style that speaks to me. I could talk about the phenomenon of the "style crisis" that many artists have all day, but in my mind the best cure for this feeling is to go against it entirely and begin stealing as much as possible.

So, I've tried to keep an eye out for more sources of inspiration everywhere I go, physical and digital. I've tried to train my mind into making a habit of considering, "can I do anything with this?" everywhere I go, and it recently paid off!

The glittery rainbowy texture you see plastered all over Billiam is this one, a photo-manipulated set of fruit stickers. I must confess I've been obsessed with this image for the past 72 hours, and this seemed like a good excuse to try it out!

I worried throughout the process if it might be so abstract that it loops back around to being horribly deliberate, if that makes sense -- like each sparkle was not a piece of a whole but rather an object in itself -- but it seems like that hasn't been a problem, so I'm grateful for that :Dc

I hope it can dazzle and delight you as it does me, but as long as you find it fascinating at the very least then I consider it a success! I really enjoyed hearing my friends' interpretations while workshopping it, and got tons of amazing answers from opal to kaleidoscope to fossilized bone marrow! I truly believe that the best art has some room for interpretation and it really excites me to be surrounded by that kind of creative energy that follows said pieces. That definitely adds to my pride in this work. It's weird, it's colorful, it's detailed and yet ambiguous. I'm feeling pretty autistic about it

Alright, I think that's about it. Thanks for listening!

#digital art #gravity falls #fan art #bill cipher #artists on tumblr #posting this and running! not returning to social media until my book is here and read front-to-back >:Dc #this may age terribly or it may not...i'm inclined to think it may not. bill's a flatass he already basically said as much #i use the term “flatland(er)” as a placeholder; he's not literally from the same universe as the book Flatland #...probably 👀#EDIT: YEP. words have been changed!

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hysteria-things · 2 months ago

Text

✿ PROMISE? ✿ PART NINE.

ʚ♡ɞ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 ʚ♡ɞ

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: chris x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: another invite to a party was not what you were expecting from your former crush…

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMOKING WEED, mention of intoxication, swearing

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,652

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: you guys must hate me right now😂

i promise (lol) i’ll have a fic out soon! i’ve been struggling so that’s why i haven’t been as active, but i’ll try my best to be :)

“𝐈’𝐌 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘,” 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐆𝐄 says, waving at the smoke that exits her mouth.

“paige, it’s fine. the pits were three weeks ago. i’m over it. i’m alive, aren’t i?”

she frowns with a nod. paige wanted to hang out with you today since you didn’t have anything going on, so you planned a sleepover with just the two of you. her dad is out of town with her brother, leaving her alone for a few days. you guys are sitting in her living room at the moment with the TV portraying a shitty netflix movie she clicked on, even though you aren’t paying attention to it.

after a second puff, she hands you the blunt. you inhale deeply, the smoke flowing through your body with ease. “anything new going on? more specifically chris related?” she smirks.

“no,” you reply, narrowing your eyes at the girl. you told her about what he did the night of the pits, and she's not letting go about how she thinks you like him.

you don’t.

“that’s boring.” she mumbles. “anything else? not chris related because you’re lame.”

“my cousins are coming tomorrow; my mom told me this morning. they’re staying with monica for a few weeks, who is their best friend since they’re close in age. she lives right next door to us.” you start, putting the blunt between your lips once more. “she’s a family friend i’ve pretty much known my whole life.

“hm.” she hums, falling silent and looking around the room before speaking again. “are you sure you don’t have at least a little feelings for chris?”

“no. we just started being friends again!” you argue. “ask that again and you’re earning a slap across the face.”

she laughs, adjusting herself to where she leans back on her elbows. “is that kevin butler texting? i remember you having the fattest crush on him when we were in middle school.”

confused, you stare at her to see she is looking at your lit-up screen on the coffee table. “shut up.” you snarl, rolling your eyes intensely. “i bumped into him at the pits.”

she gasps, sitting up as fast as lightning. not going to lie, it made you flinch a little. “do you like ryan again? or is this like a love triangle? now things are getting good.” she props herself on her knees to feed into the gossip.

“no, i don’t like kevin.” you say, which is somewhat of a lie.

“please, please, please answer it.” she begs, handing you the phone. you can tell the drug you two inhaled is starting to take over. you snatch the phone from her and open up the message.

“i hope you know i’m coming with you to that party,” paige says, peeking over your shoulder.

“chris is going to hate me.” you say lowly, locking the phone and placing it back where it was before.

she knits her eyebrows together. “why? he doesn’t control you.”

“i know, but i don’t want him to drag me to his house again.” you bite your lip to nibble on it. “that’s embarrassing.”

“chris doesn’t have to find out. you are your own person and you make your own decisions, no?” she says, patting you on the chest.

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 afternoon the next day. when you get there, you see two recognizable cars in the driveway. you sprint up the stairs and enter through the front door, to be greeted by numerous voices overlapping each other. the pitter-patter of paws slam against the wood floors when you shut the door. “oh!” you say in a startle as chichi jumps onto his hind legs to put his front two on your thigh. his tail wags as he greets you with smothers and barks while you pat his head.

peering around the wall, chichi zooms back into the living room. your cousin bethany — who gave you your journal all of those years ago — and her husband dillon are sitting on the floor in front of where your mom and dad are seated. your other cousin amalia and her husband james are on the other couch, their six-year-old twins playing with toys on the coffee table. “y/n!” oliver, one of the twins, exclaims. he runs over to hug you.

“hello, people. fancy seeing you here,” you say, sitting on the floor alongside bethany and dillon.

when your mom said everybody, you thought she was exaggerating, but she meant everybody.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 scurrying through your closet to try and find a perfect outfit for tonight. you usually don’t care about that certain thing, but you have a good feeling about kevin’s party in less than two hours. you groan loudly as your bedroom door opens. “is everything okay here?” bethany asks, peeking her head in.

you nod. “yes!”

“alright, then. i was sent to tell you that dinner’s ready.”

“i’m not eating right now. i’m going out soon.” you exhale sharply, still tearing your closet apart.

she raises a brow, intrigued. “where are you going?”

“out with friends.” you smile nervously, rubbing the sweat off of your hands on your pajamas, looking in the pile of clothes some more to see if a decent outfit will magically appear out of thin air. she gives you a suspicious look, checking to see if anybody is around before closing the door. “who’s the boy?”

“there is no boy.”

“you don’t get dressed up to ‘go out with friends’.”

you sigh in defeat. “fine. i was invited to this party and i want to dress nice, but all i have is bum sh— stuff; and i’m running out of time. the party is in less than two hours.”

she brings her finger up to her chin to think for a moment. you can see a lightbulb go off in her head. “let me make a call.” she pulls out her phone, her nails clicking against the screen. “monica works in fashion. she’ll have stuff to fit, i’m sure.”

speaking of the devil, monica appears at your house in minutes. it’s like you blinked and here she is, her tall figure kneeling in front of the bag she places down and pulls out two dresses. “you don’t seem like the type to wear fancy shit, so i brought these that i know you’ll look good in.”

the dress she is holding in her right hand is a red silky v-neck with stitched openings going up to the stitching that separates the chest from the bottom. the other one is a simple dress that is holographic. you tilt your head to think as you look from one to the other. “my mom is going to kill me if she sees me wearing one of these.”

she giggles, her long hair with blonde highlights falling over her shoulders when she does so. “oh, we got that covered.” she says matter of factly, pointing between her and bethany.

“hence why i am going to help you leave without her seeing, and covering up for you while you’re gone. you’re nineteen years old. you have to live a little, but safely. even if you have to lie from time to time.” bethany says, eyeing her best friend.

“just out of curiosity, does your mom know you snuck out?” you say because this plan seems too good to be true.

“oh, god, no. i’d still be grounded.” she shakes her head and you laugh out loud. “amalia and i used to have each other’s backs all the time when we were your age, younger, even. now, it’s time i have yours.”

you smile at that. she’s so cool, despite her being in her early thirties. amalia is a few years older. after some consideration, you point to the red dress. “that one.”

“good choice.” monica starts. “go to the bathroom and put it on.”

you get up from the floor and go to the restroom which is only a few feet away from your room. taking off what you’re wearing, you slip into the dress. you hum, checking yourself out in the mirror for a few seconds. it fits your form perfectly, your body looking better than it has ever looked in your nineteen years of living. you smirk at this boost of confidence. the more you look, the more you realize how short it is. the weird thing is, you don’t mind.

you look phenomenal.

walking back to the girls with a twirl, you hear bethany audibly gasp. “holy shit. you look stunning!”

“i feel it.”

“ooh, la la. what’s going on here? a secret fashion show?” amalia chirps while coming up behind you, cocking an eyebrow slightly. she goes over to monica to greet her before continuing. “it’s not that you don’t look gorgeous, but why? you got a date?”

“y/n here is sneaking out to go to a party.” bethany grins, patting you on the shoulder.

“no fucking way.” amalia gasps. “y/n, my most introverted little cousin, is sneaking out to party?”

“please don’t tell my mom,” you beg with a hint of worry that she’ll snitch.

she scoffs. “who do you think i am? this is a very special occasion i have to take part in… ‘cause girl, you are rocking it in that dress.”

you giggle as bethany sits you down at the vanity. she grabs her makeup bag that’s in her purse and leans in front of you. monica is scavenging your bedroom to look for jewelry, and she finds some that can match. amalia hovers above you and her sister.

bethany finishes the makeup look after a few minutes and monica hooks you up with a matching necklace and earring set that is silver, all of them giving an approving look. bethany looks at her watch and smiles. “you made it just in time. have fun.” she winks, ushering you to the entrance of your house.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @moncherriis @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @raysmayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @tworosesblackthorn @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hearrtsturns @stars4matt @freshsturns @etershine @sukiipjs @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @ivyyyyyysposts @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @thesturniolos @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @bernardsbendystraws @hoes4matthew @deareststurns

#[ ✿ ] promise?#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo fluff

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indieyuugure · 1 year ago

Note

Your comic series is the first Rottmnt comic Iv ever read! It was an amazing first impression to the Rottmnt fandom! Could you teach me how to draw the turtle boys ( rise turtles)?

Also love the new update!

Aw! I’m so glad my comic made on good impression on you! ^v^

Of course! I’d love to help you!

So first thing’s first, here’s the boys the best I can draw them. The most important thing when learning to draw new characters is identifying what makes them look like them. We’ll start with the faces since that’s, in most cases, the point of focus.

Leo’s face is a pretty tall and vaguely pentagonal. His face is also very angular, the corners of his cheeks and top of his head are very sharp. Leo has the traditional style mask with tails that drop down to about his waist.

Donnie has that smart boi forehead and majestic eyebrows. His forehead often has a soft curve to it while, similarly to Leo, his cheeks and jaw use sharp angles. Remember too that the top of his head is flat, there’s no curve. His mask is that newer pirate style that wraps over the top of his head, with the tails looking like curvy squares.

Mikey’s face is a combination of a rounded square and a circle. The top of his head, while much rounder than Donnie’s, is somewhat square. The bottom of his face is a curve. Sometimes I draw the curve in line segments, but it’s not a requirement and won’t impact the way he looks. In general though, Mikey has a very circular face. His mask is the traditional TMNT style with the rounded bouncing tails on the back.

Raph is arguably the hardest to get right for some odd reason. Really though Raph’s face is just a shorter version of Leo’s face with slightly more exaggerated angles. His face is like a fat pentagon. Also tip: Raph’s eyes are always just a little smaller then you think they’re going to be. Trace some scenes from the ROTTMNT movie, you’ll see what I mean. Raph’s mask is the same style as Donnie’s where it covers the whole top of his head. There’s a small nick on the edge above his right cheek and the tails are tattered.

Okay, next are their markings! They play a lot in how easily identifiable they are.

I figured these diagrams should help as a little map as to what spots go where.

Alright, now we’ll look at their shells. There are many amazing diagrams and explanations for drawing their shells on Pinterest I’ve found, but I’ll sum it up here as best I can.

Leo’s shell is very sleek in design making his is profile look the thinnest of his brothers. Many people describe his general body shape as being an inverted triangle.

Donnie’s shell is very straight with hardly any curves. I didn’t include his battle shell in this since that qualifies as “gear” in my opinion, so you get to see what Donnie’s shell looks like! You’ll notice that the sides of his shell are very wide, which I’m guessing is because the curve of his carapace is so shallow.

Mikey’s shell is very similar to Leo’s but is a lot thicker and boxier(haha get it? Cause he’s like, a Box Turtle? :D I’m so lame…). He’s also much rounder and the distance between his plastron and carapace is pretty big.

Raph’s shell is probably the most complex of the boys because of all the spikes. Good things to keep in mind are that the spikes on the top of his plastron angle out, and spikes on his carapace flow up. In general think of Raph as a pentagon, he’s got big broad shoulders and arms and almost comically short legs. (And yes, I’m aware that I didn’t include the side of his shell here, it was too big to fit on the diagram. But just to give you an idea of where it should be, around the “w” in “flow” is where it should connect to his carapace.

Okay! So now that we’ve covered what the boys look like, let’s apply it to their bodies!

Here’s a quick sketch of Leo. “Oh, but Indie” I hear people say, “I can only draw basic shapes and stick figures!” Well to that I say good because that’s what I’m doing too!

For drawing action, it’s crucial to capture the energy of the character. And in a style like Rise’s energy is an iconic trait. So I’ve re-invented this “shape method” to actually be useful. The number one thing is that these shapes are loose guides as to the positioning of the body. Don’t think of these shapes as “well chests are like cubes and arms are like rectangles.” These shapes are place holders. I could replace those circles with stars and it wouldn’t change anything. I just use circles because they’re faster to scribble and stand out against the hard angles of everything else.

Here’s a picture of the shapes overlayed on the image, as you see, these shapes are guides to help comprehend a complex angle in 3D space. Sadly I don’t have much I can assist with on proportions, since I learned purely by studying total uncreepily real life people and myself (I swear I’m posing in the mirror for purely educational reasons! Okay!?).

But anyway, for this kind of thing, practice is the only remedy. Just draw action pose after action pose. Trace scenes from ROTTMNT and the movie to teach your eye to see what things should look like and to train your brain to recognize patterns of shapes and angles.

I hope you found this at all helpful. I’m not really sure how great of a teacher I am but people keep asking questions like these so I guess I’m okay. Glad you liked ROTP so much and I’m glad it made such a good impression on you! ^v^

Good question! :]

And of course if you have more questions, feel free to ask. Here are some previous asks about drawing I’ve gotten that you might also find interesting:

Tricks for Drawing Extra Expressive Faces

More Tricks for Drawing Expressions

Tips and Tricks to Drawing Non-Graphic Wounds

Basic Guide and Tips for Drawing the 2012 and Rise Turtles

How to Draw 2012 Raph’s Fire Ninpo

Nailing The 2012 TMNT Style in 2D

Important Concepts in Drawing Female Characters

#q&a #tmnt #ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #art #art tips #drawing #drawing tips #drawing stuff #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

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stupidlittlespirit · 1 month ago

Note

I’m literally the same anon, oh god I really am a dog but you brought up something that caused a little thought tidal wave in me and now I want to rant about it --

Ford is SO interesting in the way he works as a person. Like he has SUCH an ego, can be really self-centered and have such a high, grandiose view of himself to the point of assholery— but he also suffers harshly from insecurity and hungers for others’ admiration and praise so badly. He’s so capable of being the type to kneel and serve(example: bill. I don’t mention this in a shippy way either I don’t ship billford lol but boy did Ford worship that lame ass triangle.) despite regarding himself so highly in some ways all because he wants to prove his worth and usefulness TERRIBLY. It’s such an interesting juxtaposition to me, especially when you apply it in the. . . scenarios we’re talking about sksdkkss. I need to fuck him from a scientific standpoint and also just because I want to. Seriously.

Also— THANK YOU. Ford WOULD collapse to the floor over one “good boy” thank you for being so correct about Stanford Pines here’s my kidney. I went to praise kink island and everyone knew about Ford I swear LMFAOOOO. He has one of OTHERWORLDLY proportions like that poor old man just wants to be told he’s good.

You guys are really giving me soapbox after soapbox to get on and you're gonna regret it because I'm a real talker when you get me going....

This is going to apply pretty generally to my view of Ford's romantic character.

All of the good stuff below the cut as always!

Ford is a walking talking paradoxical diamond of a character.

He thinks he's the best because other people have told him as such and though he does know that he's intelligent, he also doubts himself in secret and he knows he's vulnerable for that, and he hates it.

He's deeply, deeply emotional and very flawed, and I don't think that when it comes to those emotions he really is very smart at all. In fact, I think he's blunt to his (and other's) motions a lot of the time.

I don't think that Ford believes genuine, soft love serves a purpose for him. Both because he tells himself he's above it but mostly because he doesn't think he deserves it. He's coping when he thinks he's above it, imo.

He's too deeply flawed, his baggage is too great, he's traumatised by something people other than his family would have no idea how to approach. Nobody reaches his level of intelligence/understanding, and the last person who did (Bill) destroyed him. He's really fucked up by everything that's happened to him, I imagine.

He won't let someone in close after everything that happened with Bill and his family, and his idea of what love is is going to be incredibly skewed because the only love he's ever received has been because people want something from him or to use him.

Plus, who would want to be humiliated again? Anyone who involved themselves with him would only ever want to humiliate him, right?

To love is to be vulnerable and to open yourself up, and that hurts.

Ford would refuse to accept that he wants to submit and lose control over his feelings to begin with. He'd fight and fight and fight until he realised he was safe with whoever had him in their hands, and then he'd just lose it. He'd break and give himself over completely.

Telling him he's good because he's done so well or because he's just a good, sweet person would be a LOT to handle but he'd love it.

That's not to say that stroking his ego over his intelligence wouldn't do anything for him too; it definitely would. He'd find it fun and he likes being able to dominate in the areas he's comfortable in and to feel special, so to begin with I think he'd be very happy to keep being praised for his intelligence and absorb the admiration/worship from someone....

That is, up until those vulnerable emotions catch up with him and he starts thinking about how.... Maybe it would be nice if someone loved me for me, and not for my usefulness or what I offer.

It also is going to depend on the mood he's in; is he feeling insecure and in need of validation about his intelligence/achievements? Or is he in need of some tlc and understanding on a deeper, more human level?

He doesn't have to be one or the other. He's both at once and for someone who isn't good at emotions, that's got to be absolute torture. He's just a very mixed up guy who never really got the chance to explore himself emotionally beyond Stan's help.

Anyway I love him more than life itself and Ford if you're reading this I would treat you so good just give me one chance I promise-

#stanford pines #ford pines #gravity falls #ford pines x reader #but also this just applies generally

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chowdersinterlude · 20 days ago

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*ೃ༄ M H A

M A S T E R L I S T

Upcoming:

???

(Adding more fandoms soon!) [once I watch them -_-]

Tamaki Amajiki

(Tamaki A. x Fem!Reader)

01. Home

summary: an introduction to your shy and adorable boyfriend who is absolutely WHIPPED for you, inspired by couples calling their partner “home”

02. Indigo

summary: you find your boyfriend what looks like ‘flirting’ with one of your best friends hagakure? Since he wants to flirt with your friend you decided to flirt with his, make it even.

03. Cherry

summary: your boyfriend takes you cherry picking just for him to be the one colored like a cherry<3

Denki Kaminari

01. Frequency

summary: You sacrificing your love just to please one of your best friends, but in the end he still chose to be with you, no matter how much Jirou liked him

02. Lightning

summary: Denki starts to notice that bakugou has taken a liking to you, infuriating him, he makes a plan but soon you catch onto it too.

03. Dunce

summary: Denki (being the show off he is) is always surrounded by girls, but never thinks to what you might feel seeing YOUR boyfriend being touched and flirted with by other people.

Izuku Midoriya

(Izuku M. x Bakugou’s sister!Reader)

01. Teeth

summary: Being bakugou’s sister means you have the attitude of him, but slowly you find yourself falling Inlove with his rival?

02. Nothing left to lose without my baby

summary: While you and him are fighting villains, the only motivation you both have to live and keep fighting, is each other.

03. Kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor!

summary: He always knows how to make his grumpy girlfriend’s day better with his kisses<3

Shoto Todoroki

(Shoto T. x Popular!Fem!Reader)

01. All because I liked a girl

summary: Todoroki tries to change his “nonchalant” ways to make him fit your personality, hoping it’ll make you like him just a bit more.

02. K.

summary: You sent him a text telling him to meet you behind the school after you have been hit with realization your crush likes you back. (You confess and date)

03. Meteor

summary: You both get into an argument but he always knows how to make you feel better<3, stargazing atop of a hill.

Tenya Iida

(Tenya Iida x Rebel!Fem!Reader)

01. Rebel

summary: THE goody-two-shoes likes you? Of all people? The class trouble maker?

02. Detention

summary: basically just tenya getting into a fight out of jealousy for you.

03. Space

summary: His parents don’t approve of you, but hey, just because your dating a perfect man doesn’t mean you’re so perfect yourself right?

Katsuki Bakugou

(Katsuki B. x Soft!Fem!Reader)

01. Ew, No

summary: Bakugou has a crush on you and you have a crush on him, but he always denies his little crush, in a way that makes your heart shatter and your stuck there picking up the pieces

02. Show Me How

summary: Bakugou confronts you and kisses you, begging and pleading for you to show him how to love like how you need him to.

03. Stay With Me

summary: Katsuki being a jealousy induced boyfriend<3

Ejirou Kirishima

(Ejirou K. x Closed Off!Fem!Reader)

01. No One Noticed

summary: kirishima decided to have a lame crush on a girl who probably won’t even look his way, well she won’t look in anyone’s way, she’s a “quiet kid” but he swears she will someday get out of her comfort zone

02. You Will Be My Girl

summary: Kirishimas Vibrant Extroverted Energy takes a romantic tole on you, the way he contains himself just to listen to you speak makes your heart flutter, especially when you have to talk in front of people he’s always there egging you on.

03. You Know Me

summary: Just kirishima and you having a little intimate time before getting INTERRUPTED by the girls and denki

Sero Hanta

(Sero x fem!reader)

01. Mine

(One shot) summary: Sero + Reader + Denki love triangle?, sero and Denki competing over their girl<3

02.

summary:

03. Heart And Soul

Summary: Full fanfic on modern au rnb singer! Sero<3

Fumikage Tokoyami

(Singer!Fumikage T. x Party girl!Reader)

01. Bathroom

summary: y/n being the party girl she is goes to a party with some of her friends, just for the next day to wake up with 108 messages, in some persons oversized clothes, AND in a mansion with album covers on the wall?

02. The Look Of Love

summary: The resting bitch face that radiates off this man is deadly, but when you come near? This man looks like a child when they see a dog, utterly filled with admiration and love.

03. R U Mine?

summary: Since y/n is a party girl she’s obviously not gonna commit to a ‘emo-indie-rock’ singer, if being a singer won’t convince her maybe a song made for her will.

Requests open my loves<33

(My first time doing anything like this :p sorry if my ml [masterlist] looks like shiet)

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mikareo · 1 year ago

Text

⌗ SEASONS OF LOVE ₊ ˖ ་. a 呪術廻戦 miniseries

“ ࣭⸰ ★ SERIAL ROMANTIC ; gojo satoru x fem reader ⠀ ꒰ . . episode three ! ꒱ . . . word count; 1.1k ⠀ ⠀ ᯇ lost confessions, missed connections

⊹ ⠀⠀ gojo's halloween costume is ryan gosling's sebastian; though he should've dressed up as a lovesick, idiotic clown.

contains; gojo x fem reader, university (year 2) au, angst, fluff, gojo's a dick, swearing, best friends to lovers, love triangle

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀pm or send ask to join/be removed from taglist,, ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀link to miniseries masterlist

so much has changed in the past two and a half months that gojo can't even begin to comprehend it all.

firstly, you're practically an entirely new person. how did that happen? rather than him devouring every word in your conversations, you're actually keeping up now; and your funny. you're really funny. he never knew that, and it's definitely a pleasant surprise to discover. you're also so confident. before the school year began, you could be compared to a mouse staring at rat poison— so timid and shy, without any means to argue with him or introduce yourself to his other friends, but now you do both with no signs of nerves or anxiety. it's no wonder that all eyes were on you tonight. with your bright yellow dress and pink lipstick, you looked gorgeous; something out of a hollywood film. luckily for him, as the ryan gosling to your emma stone, no guys dared to approach you with his arm wrapped around your waist for a whole three hours.

he likes this new you. he doesn't understand why, but there's just something about you that ticks his boxes. something that appeared out of nowhere and he can't seem to ignore. why? he's not used to feeling this way and he hates it. he fucking hates it.

"tonight was really fun." there's a soft smile on your face as you're looking through the windshield. he's just pulled up to your dorm building, and the familiar sight appears to be comforting to you. "thanks for bringing me."

he did do that didn't he?

"yeah, no problem." his answer is tame as his thoughts run wild.

it's not uncommon for him to invite you to parties, though he used to force you to accompany him and sit in the corner while he made out with as many girls as he found hot; but tonight was the first time you agreed to come to this particular party. aka the halloween party to top all other lame and sorry excuses for a social gathering. originally, he used to ask you to come because geto was always so busy with schoolwork and studying— making it very clear that you were always his second option— now, he personally asked you without approaching his male best friend first. "sorry about those guys, earlier. they were just messing with me."

you smile. "it's okay, as long is it didn't bother you."

it did bother him, though.

with the relentless remarks from his classmates, gojo hears their words echoing in his ears. so you finally found yourself a real girlfriend! no, he didn't. wow, the great satoru gojo got himself pinned down! as if. of all the girls you could pick, you picked her? i would've wanted loads of others before landing on this one. what the fuck kind of question was that?

he's not exactly ashamed to be seen with you. he knows he doesn't want other men giving you attention, yet at the same time he can't help but want to keep his reputation high. who is gojo satoru without his playboy status? he's just a man. there's nothing too special about him other than his handsome looks, and he can't seem to be able to let go of his ego just yet; no matter how devastated the lovesick look in your eyes is making him feel.

"why're you staring at me?" his voice is shaking with nerves, anxiety pumping through his blood at a rapid pace.

"i just love the way your hair falls over your eyes." oh no. "i get little glimpses of blue every time you breathe."

please. please don't confess.

"sometimes when i look at you, i feel myself floating in some type of way. i don't really know how to describe it, but i've always felt it. it's like i've been in love with you since i first met you. which, to be honest, is definitely true. the reason i haven't considered anyone else on campus is because a part of me is waiting for you to feel the same way— and it's been really hard with all of the other girls you spend time with, but you also give me so much attention that it makes me feel special."

your words are so beautiful. so soft. gojo understands this 'floating' feeling you speak of. he's being lifted away by it. his heads is in the clouds, touching the sky, and wishing on shooting stars that this relationship will work. his heart wants this to work so badly; but his mind disagrees. no. it's not his mind that disagrees...

...it's his narcissism.

"i love you, satoru. i always have."

he wants to love you, too...

...but he can't.

"i think you got the wrong idea." he tries to laugh off your confession, avoiding eye contact so he doesn't need to see your heart breaking in real time. "this was all just a bit of fun tonight, the costume and everything. i didn't know you'd assume i liked you."

he knows he's being an asshole.

"you've taken it all too seriously, really. i didn't think of it like a couple outing or a date. it's just a party."

he knows he should stop and apologize.

"i don't love you like that. i never have."

finally, he looks over to you. you're staring straight at him with tears struggling not to fall and sniffling softly. if gojo could read minds, he knows that you're at war with yourself; trying to decide whether to give up on him or give him another chance. in an ideal world, he'd deserve another chance. no, scratch that. in an ideal world, he would've accepted your confession. he would've leaned over the armrest and kissed you with all of the passion he's been holding back. you would've smiled while kissing him, fighting to contain giggles of glee, and running your fingers through his hair that you love so much. gojo would've admitted that the other girls were just a distraction so he could ignore his burning feelings for you; and that all this time, he's been scared— too scared of losing you, his best friend, to confess.

but that isn't how this scenario played out.

instead, you're muttering a million apologies and sobbing quietly in the passenger seat of his car, while he looks at you with nothing but pity. gojo satoru doesn't understand how to love. he doesn't understand that in order to love, one needs to set aside their own heart, and make space for another. he's not ready to make that commitment, and it's almost laughably obvious that your friendship is over.

"i'll see you around, satoru." your hand unlocks the door. your feet landing on the pavement as you hop out of the vehicle. your figure fleeting into the shadows of the night...

...his heart fleeting with you.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀pm or send ask to join/be removed from taglist,, ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀link to miniseries masterlist

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

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