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#it's just so raw and pure emotion i love it so much
mssalo · 3 days
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Hummingbird - Part: II
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Summary: In the quiet town of Jackson, Joel becomes consumed by a dark and overpowering obsession with his new neighbor. What begins as fascination quickly spirals into something much darker as he loses control over his desires.
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Warnings: 18+, MDNI, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, dark!Joel, obsessive!Joel, manipulation (emotional and psychological), gaslighting, power imbalance, age gap (not specified), stalking, dubious consent, daddy kink, breeding kink, possessive behavior, noncon elements, oral (pussy eating), unprotected PIV, creampie, voyeurism, possessivel controlling dynamics, trauma exploitation, Joel using your vulnerabilities against you, power play, obsessive desires, Joel blurring lines between protection and ownership. Joel is a huge red flag and reader has major daddy issues. Enjoy!
long&intense
Here's Part I.
· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··
Joel’s days had settled into a new rhythm, one that orbited around you.
Every moment spent outside Jackson’s walls, on the lookout for threats, was consumed by a burning impatience to return. The dangers he once faced with such resolve now seemed trivial compared to the intense need he felt for you. His thoughts were constantly on you, wondering what you were doing while he was gone. He imagined your gentle smile as you taught the youngest children in the settlement.
His patrols, once a predictable routine, now felt like an unwelcome interruption—an unwanted separation from the focus of his obsession.
You.
And now, he was determined to make you love him.
When he wasn’t on patrol, Joel made excuses to cross paths with you. He’d drop by the schoolhouse under the pretense of checking on repairs or offer to carry supplies for you.
At first, you were taken aback by his attention—after all, the quiet, gruff man who led patrols through the wilderness outside Jackson wasn’t exactly known for being sociable. But your innocence worked in his favor. You didn’t question why he lingered a bit too long when you spoke or why his gaze followed you so intently whenever you were near.
“Mr. Miller,” you greeted him one afternoon, flashing that soft, sweet smile that stirred something dark in him. “Here again?”
“Just Joel,” he corrected, his voice low and rough as he leaned against the doorframe of the classroom. “Figured I’d check in. See if y’all needed anythin`.”
You laughed lightly, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Always so helpful. I think we’re good today, but thank you.”
Joel’s eyes wandered to the children seated on the floor around you, their attention fixed on makeshift toys. He watched as one of the toddlers tugged at your dress, seeking your attention.
You were made for this. Made to be a mother.
He had seen you with them, crouched down, your voice soothing as you explained lessons or comforted tearful faces.
The way the children gathered around you, their trust unwavering, only heightened his primal urge. There was something about the way you nurtured and cared for them—the tender touch, the encouraging words—that stirred a desire in him beyond mere lust.
The sight of you, so gentle and attentive, sparked a deep, almost possessive longing in him. He imagined you with a child of your own. His child. The fantasy of you, swollen with his baby, your body soft and round, consumed him.
Joel pictured you in your small home, barefoot and glowing, your belly growing larger with each passing day.
The thought twisted something deep inside him, merging his desire with a possessiveness that bordered on madness.
You were too pure, too kind to grasp it, but Joel knew. You were meant for him—to bear his children, to belong to him in every sense.
His gaze darkened as he envisioned taking you right then and there. To bend you over one of the small desks, your soft curves pressed against the rough wood, his hands gripping your hips as he filled you—over and over.
The thought nearly overwhelmed him, the raw, primal urge almost too strong to control.
His hands flexed at his sides, clenching and unclenching as he fought for control. This wasn’t the time. Not yet. You weren’t ready. You still smiled at him with those innocent eyes, unaware of the dark hunger building inside him.
Joel wanted more than to claim you physically—he wanted to own every part of you. He wanted your mind, your heart, your body. He wanted you to be consumed by him the way he was by you.
He could wait. He’d be patient.
For now.
“Joel?” Your sweet voice cut through his haze, pulling him back to the present.
He blinked, realizing he had been staring. Your eyes met his, and you tilted your head slightly, concern touching your features. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” he rasped, clearing his throat, his voice thick with a rough edge. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
You smiled again, that same sweet, innocent smile that made his blood boil, completely unaware of the filthy thoughts running through his mind. You were so trusting. So naive.
Joel forced himself to return your smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes.
“If you need anything,” he said, his voice low and deliberate, “anything at all, you just let me know, alright?”
Your smile widened, and for a moment, his heart skipped a beat. “I will. Thank you, Joel.”
He nodded, turning to leave before his control slipped any further. As he walked away, he felt the weight of your gaze on his back, innocent and oblivious. He clenched his fists, his jaw tight as he stepped out into the cold air. His cock already throbbing again. His mind raced with plans, ideas forming and reforming. You were going to be his—he was going to make sure of it.
But first, he had to make you need him as much as he needed you.
· · ────────
In the weeks that followed, Joel's plan took shape with meticulous intent. Every interaction was calculated, every word carefully chosen to weave himself deeper into your life.
He began lingering outside the schoolhouse after his patrols, finding small tasks to do—fixing a loose door hinge, offering to carry supplies.
Always nearby. Always watching.
You began to smile at him more often, a soft glow in your eyes whenever he appeared.
Joel knew he was becoming a part of your routine, a constant presence you started to rely on without even realizing it.
The simple greetings, the quiet moments—each one brought you closer to him.
You started seeking him out.
You’d ask him for help with things around the house, questions about Jackson, and slowly, unknowingly, you let him into your world. Joel played the part of the dependable neighbor with ease, masking the deeper hunger that burned underneath.
It wasn’t just about being near you anymore. It was about making sure you needed him—emotionally, physically.
He wanted to become the one person you couldn’t live without.
One late afternoon, he found you sitting on the porch of your house, the sun casting a soft, golden light over everything. You had a worn notebook in your lap, absently humming a soft, familiar tune as you scribbled something down.
The sound was sweet, gentle, and it tugged at something deep inside Joel. He paused for a moment, just watching you, captivated by the way the melody seemed to wrap around you like a warm embrace.
When you finally noticed him, your face lit up, and his chest tightened at the sight.
“Hey, Joel,” you greeted him with a soft smile, the tune fading into the quiet evening.
“Hey,” he replied, his voice rougher than usual as he approached, the wooden porch creaking under his weight when he sat down beside you. “What’re you workin’ on?”
You glanced down at your notebook, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Oh, just some lesson plans for the kids. Busy day.”
Joel’s gaze softened as he watched you.
The way the light caught the soft strands of your hair, the way you absentmindedly tapped your pencil on the edge of the notebook—everything about you was so gentle, so perfect.
His hand twitched at his side, aching to reach out and touch you, to feel the warmth of your skin beneath his fingertips.
Instead, he kept his voice steady, though the desire simmered just beneath the surface.
“You’re good with them. The kids, I mean.”
You smiled again, a little shyly this time, the compliment making you blush just slightly. “Thanks. I try.”
The way you smiled at him, the trust in your eyes—it was all he needed to know that his plan was working.
You were beginning to let your guard down, to lean into his presence. Every time you looked at him like that, so open and unaware, it drove Joel further into his obsession.
my pretty little hummingbird.
The melody of your earlier humming lingered in his mind as he sat next to you, and he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to have you all to himself—to be the one to hear you hum as you moved about your shared home, maybe with a child cradled in your arms.
The image of you, round with his child, your body soft and full, made his heart pound, once again.
He wanted that. He wanted everything with you.
You had no idea just how deeply he wanted to be your everything, just like you were becoming his.
For now, he would keep playing the part of the protector, the one you could count on.
But it wouldn’t be long before he’d make sure you needed him just as much as he needed you.
He could already see the shift—the way you sought him out more, the way your eyes softened when they met his, how you were humming more often, especially when you were near him, like you were already growing comfortable in his presence.
You were slipping into his grasp, slowly but surely.
And soon, you’d realize just how much you needed him—how much you craved the protection and the stability he offered.
He watched as you turned back to your notebook, your lips parting slightly as you absentmindedly hummed again, lost in thought.
Joel clenched his fists at his sides, the desire to claim you in every possible way nearly overwhelming. But he could wait.
For now.
· · ────────
That same evening, as the two of you sat on the small, worn sofa in your living room, the air between you seemed heavier, more intimate.
Joel was sitting close, the warmth of his body radiating toward you as the low light from a nearby lamp flickered softly against the walls.
There was a strange comfort in his presence, a grounding sense that you hadn’t expected to feel. Yet there he was—always there.
You hadn’t planned to talk about it, not with Joel, not with anyone.
But something about the quiet of the evening, and the way he sat so close, made you feel safe enough to let it out.
You shifted, pulling your knees up onto the couch, hugging them slightly as you stared at the floor.
“My father… I don’t talk about him much,” you began, your voice low, almost a whisper.
Joel didn’t interrupt. He just listened, his fingers barely grazing your arm, his touch subtle, steady.
He was patient, waiting for you to open up.
“He was never really the same after my mom died. He was… distant, like he was there, but at the same time, he wasn’t. I kept trying to reach him, to get him to see me, to just… care.” You paused, the lump in your throat growing harder to swallow.
“But no matter what I did, no matter how hard I fought for his attention, for his approval, he just... pulled away more.”
Joel’s fingers tightened slightly around your arm, his silent way of telling you he was there, listening. Right?
“We survived together for a while, just the two of us, after everything fell apart. He wasn’t much of a father by then, more like… just someone I had to follow, to keep up with. I was always trying to prove myself to him, to show him I could handle it. But it was exhausting.”
Your voice broke for a moment, and you felt your breath catch in your chest.
Joel shifted closer, his arm resting behind you on the back of the sofa, offering you the comfort of his presence without a word.
“And then… he died,” you whispered, the pain of the memory washing over you like a wave.
“We were out there in the wilderness, trying to survive, just like always. He got hurt, and I tried—I tried so hard to save him, to keep him alive.
A silent tear slipped down your soft cheeks, "But, again, it wasn’t enough. I wasn't enough. He died, and then he really left me. For good.”
A shudder went through you as you recalled those final moments, the coldness of his absence washing over you again.
"He left me, Joel. After everything. I was so alone after that. Completely abandoned.”
You took a shaky breath, the weight of your confession settling between you. "The anniversary of his death is soon."
You could feel the weight of the silence between you, the raw emotion of the confession hanging in the air.
You hadn’t spoken those words aloud to anyone, not since it happened. The loneliness, the helplessness—it had all stayed locked away inside you for so long.
Joel’s grip on your hand tightened, his thumb stroking the back of it in slow, soothing circles.
He shifted slightly, moving closer to you on the couch until his thigh pressed firmly against yours. His other arm, warm and strong, wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you toward him with a gentle but insistent force.
“Come here, sweet girl,” he murmured, his voice low and thick with that unmistakable Southern drawl that had become so comforting.
Without thinking, you leaned into him, your head resting against his chest.
The solid weight of him, the quiet rise and fall of his breathing, made you feel grounded in a way that nothing else had. His fingers tangled in your hair, stroking lightly as he held you close.
“You shouldn’t have had to go through that,” Joel whispered, his lips brushing the top of your head.
“Your father… he should’ve seen how hard you fought for him. But he didn’t. He failed you.”
The words struck a chord deep inside, and you felt another tear slip down your cheek, quickly absorbed by Joel’s shirt as he held you tighter.
He made it sound so simple, so black and white, and in this moment, it was comforting to believe that maybe it really had been that way.
· · ────────
He’d watched you closely in the weeks that followed, noting your increasing need for support, how you seemed to lean on him more and more.
It was all part of his plan, a strategy to make you depend on him, to crave his presence in ways you hadn’t before.
He saw the cracks in your composure, the way your smiles were less frequent, and how your gaze held a kind of forlorn hope whenever he was near.
And then he began.
Joel had put his plan into motion, slowly pulling away over the past week—just enough to make you feel the cold sting of his absence.
The timing wasn’t random; the anniversary of your father’s death was looming, and he knew the weight of that grief would come crashing down on you.
It was the perfect moment.
He could see it already in your face, the way sadness mixed with confusion, the subtle flickers of desperation as you searched for his familiar presence.
You leaned on him more in those days leading up, seeking comfort, but now, with him gone, you were left alone again, the emptiness creeping in.
Joel understood what that feeling of abandonment could do—it would remind you of the ache of being left behind.
But this time, instead of pushing you away completely, it would draw you closer to him.
You’d start to wonder where he was, why he wasn’t there, and with each passing day, your need for him would grow stronger.
And that’s exactly what he wanted.
The power of it fueled something dark inside him, but Joel didn’t flinch from it. It wasn’t cruelty, he told himself.
It was necessity.
· · ────────
The night of the anniversary, he knew you’d be at your most vulnerable. The idea of you coming to him, desperate and broken, fed his twisted satisfaction.
And sure enough, as he watched you from his porch, he saw you approaching his house, your posture hunched and hesitant, your eyes red from crying.
You were exactly where he wanted you: fragile, yearning for comfort, and completely under his control.
When you knocked on his door, your voice barely more than a whisper, Joel paused deliberately, savoring the moment.
His face stayed cold for a beat longer, a flicker of something darker dancing behind his eyes.
He knew it was you—he had expected this.
The satisfaction of your inevitable need for him made his chest tighten, not with tenderness, but with a twisted sense of control.
His mind wandered briefly, picturing you on the other side of the door—fragile, vulnerable, and craving him in the way he wanted.
The image sent a rush through him, his hand flexing at his side before he reached for the doorknob.
Joel knew what you would look like, how you would be standing there with those wide, innocent eyes, pleading silently for comfort.
It was exactly where he wanted you.
As he turned the handle and slowly opened the door, his gaze traveled over you, drinking in every detail.
You were wearing one of those soft, simple dresses he loved—the kind that hugged your curves in just the right way, brushing against your thighs.
The fabric clung to your chest, outlining the subtle rise and fall of your breath.
Your hair, slightly tousled, framed your face, and the way the fading evening light touched your skin made you look even more delicate. Almost ethereal.
Joels eyes lingered on your body a little too long before he forced them back to your face, taking in the sadness in your eyes.
You were so beautiful like this—small, fragile, clearly aching for someone to hold you.
The thought of you being this broken, this dependent on him, sent a pulse of something darker through his veins and all his blood rushing to his cock.
He let a slow breath out through his nose, shifting his expression into something softer, more concerned.
But underneath that, there was a twisted thrill.
You didn’t even realize how much you needed him, how perfectly you were falling into the trap he had set.
"Hey," he said, voice low and calm, his gaze flicking up and down your body before settling back on your face. "You alright?"
But the way his eyes darkened just a fraction as they swept over you again hinted at more.
His need to consume you was barely hidden beneath the surface, masked only by the false tenderness he had learned to wear so well.
You hesitated, a mix of hurt and confusion on your face.
“I… I don’t understand,” you said, stepping over the threshold and into Joel’s home, your voice wavering with uncertainty.
“You’ve been so distant lately. I thought—” Your gaze flicked up to him, pleading for answers. “I thought we were closer than this.”
Joel closed the door behind you with a deliberate, measured movement.
His eyes followed your every action, noting the way you hesitated at the entryway, clearly unsettled.
The sight of you, standing there with your heart exposed, only intensified his dark satisfaction.
He could see the raw need in your eyes, the desperate hope that he might provide the comfort you were seeking.
“Come on, baby,” he said softly, his voice laced with a false warmth that barely masked his true intentions. “Sit down. Let’s talk.”
As you settled onto the couch, your fingers twisting nervously in your lap, Joel took a seat beside you, his proximity charged with a subtle tension.
His gaze remained steady, almost predatory, as he observed the way your defenses were weakening.
The dim light in the room cast a soft glow over you, highlighting the vulnerability in your features.
Joel’s eyes lingered on the curve of your profile, the way your shoulders seemed to slump in defeat.
For a moment, he stayed quiet, eyes flicking down to where your fingers fidgeted in the fabric of your dress.
Then, in a voice that was strangely soft, he broke the silence.
"I thought maybe..." He paused, his jaw tightening slightly as if weighing his words carefully. "I thought maybe you'd gotten too used to me."
His words caught you off guard, and your eyes shot up to meet his. "Too used to you?" you echoed, confusion evident in your tone.
Joel nodded slowly, his expression shifting to one of thoughtful hardness.
There was something in his eyes, a shadow of frustration mixed with a dark calculation.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice gruff. “Maybe I’ve just been around too much. Maybe you’ve been handling things just fine on your own.”
His gaze was steady, almost penetrating, as he watched your reaction.
You could feel the weight of his words, a subtle threat hidden in the casual tone.
The idea that he might pull away, leave you to handle things alone again, seemed both daunting and unsettling.
“Joel, I didn’t mean—” you started to say, but he cut you off, leaning in closer.
His hand rested on your thigh, his touch a mix of warmth and intensity, grounding yet unsettling.
“I’ve been thinking,” he continued, his voice dropping to a low murmur, “about how you’re managing. Maybe you don’t need me as much as I thought. Maybe it’s time I stepped back and let you handle things on your own. Alone.”
The way he spoke made you feel the absence of his presence even more acutely.
His hand on your thigh was a stark contrast to the coldness in his words, a reminder of what you could lose.
Joel’s gaze remained locked on yours, his expression a careful mix of concern and something darker.
Joel’s fingers traced a small, deliberate path on your thigh, each touch a reminder of his influence and control.
“Maybe it’s time I let you prove it. All on your own”
As his words sank in, a rush of fear and vulnerability overwhelmed you.
You felt a cold, biting loneliness creeping in.
The memory of being abandoned, left alone in a world that felt hostile and unforgiving, came rushing back.
“Please, don’t leave me alone,” you pleaded, your voice trembling. “Not again. Not like this.”
The desperation in your voice was raw, a stark reminder of the pain from your past.
Joel’s expression softened ever so slightly, though the darkness still lingered in his eyes.
He watched as you struggled, the fear of abandonment triggering old wounds.
You could see the glint of something almost satisfied in his gaze, a cruel sort of pleasure at the way you were unraveling before him.
His hand on your thigh remained steady, a reminder of what you stood to lose if he followed through on his threat.
Joel leaned in, his voice a whisper of false reassurance. “I don’t want to see you suffer, baby. I just need to know you really want me here. That you need me.”
"You don’t know how much I need you," you whispered, your voice barely audible.
The words came out before you could stop them, a slip of your guard that Joel pounced on immediately.
He smiled, but there was nothing soft about it. "Yeah?"
His thumb, again, began to trace slow circles against your thigh, the touch deceptively gentle, though the look in his eyes was anything but.
"Because, baby, I’ve been needing you. More than you realize."
His voice dropped lower, and he shifted closer, his presence suffocating in its intensity.
"And I’ve been thinking... maybe you didn’t want me the same way. Maybe I pushed too hard, too fast."
You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off again, his hand moving from your thigh to cup your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye.
"But I get it now," he murmured, his voice dark and possessive. "I see it. You need me just as much. You’re just afraid to admit it."
His words hung in the air, heavy and laced with meaning, and you felt your heart pounding in your chest. Joel leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear.
"You don’t have to be afraid," he whispered. "You don’t have to hide how much you want me."
His hand slid from your chin down to your shoulder, then lower, grazing the fabric of your dress in a way that made your breath hitch.
He was testing the boundaries, pushing them, seeing how far he could go before you pulled away. But you didn’t. You couldn’t.
"I just needed to know," Joel continued, his voice soft but insistent, "that you want me, too. That you’re as hungry for this as I am."
Your lips parted, but no words came out.
Joel’s fingers trailed down your arm, intertwining with your own, holding them still.
His grip was firm, grounding, and yet there was that undercurrent of dominance there—the same unspoken claim he always made, like you were something precious and fragile, yet wholly his.
"I’m sorry," he murmured, though the apology didn’t feel entirely sincere. His voice was calm, soothing, but the darkness in his gaze remained.
"I didn’t mean to push you away. I just needed to make sure you wanted me like I want you."
His hand brushed over your cheek, the gesture tender, though you could sense the raw desire behind it.
"Tell me you want me, baby," he coaxed, his thumb stroking the side of your face. "Tell me I wasn’t wrong."
Your heart raced as you met his gaze, the intensity in his eyes almost too much to bear.
He was pulling you in, breaking down every last wall you had left, making you crave the very thing you’d been trying to deny.
"I need you," you breathed, the confession spilling from your lips before you could stop it.
Joel’s smile widened, that dark, twisted satisfaction gleaming in his eyes.
His grip on your hand tightened, his other hand slipping around your waist, pulling you closer.
"I knew it," he whispered, his lips brushing your ear. "I knew you couldn’t resist."
Joel’s eyes darkened with a twisted satisfaction as he leaned in closer, his hand brushing against your arm with an intimacy that belied his words.
“You don’t have to worry about that anymore,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing, but with a dark undercurrent. “I’m here now. I’ll take care of you.”
You shifted slightly, feeling a mix of relief and unease as you looked up at him. Joel’s gaze was intense, his expression one of smoldering desire masked by a veneer of concern.
He watched as your defenses crumbled, your need for comfort making you more vulnerable to his manipulations.
“Just let me be here for you,” he continued, his hand moving to your cheek, his touch almost tender but charged with a possessive edge.
“You don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll take care of you, baby. You just need to trust me.”
You nodded slowly, your resolve faltering as you leaned into his touch.
His words, though laced with a veneer of sympathy, were a seductive promise of control.
Joel could see the way you melted under his gaze, your need for him growing stronger with each passing moment.
He let his hand slide down your arm, his touch deliberately lingering as he coaxed you into his embrace.
“You’re safe here with me,” he whispered, his voice low and sultry.
“You don’t have to think about anything else. Just let me take care of you.”
You were too overwhelmed by your emotions to resist as he gently pulled you closer.
His hands roamed over your body with a possessive urgency, each touch calculated to deepen your dependence on him.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. “I’ve wanted this for so long. You have no idea how much you mean to me.”
The warmth of his breath, the intensity of his gaze, and the possessiveness in his touch combined to create a heady mix of pleasure and apprehension.
Joel’s manipulation was complete—he had broken down your defenses, making you crave his presence as desperately as he desired to control you.
As his hands explored your body, his touch became more insistent, his words a blend of comfort and dark desire.
“You want me, sweet girl, don’t you?” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
As Joel's words and touch sank in, you felt a wave of relief mingled with your desperation.
The fear of being abandoned, of losing the small comfort he provided, made you cling to him even more.
Despite the unsettling edge to his words, the fact that he was showing you kindness again brought a surge of gratitude.
You wanted to feel cared for, wanted to be held in a way that made you forget the fear of being left alone.
"Please, Joel," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. "I want you."
Joel’s touch became a tangled mix of comfort and possessiveness.
He held you close, his hands roaming over your body with a growing insistence, reinforcing the notion that you were his and his alone.
His whispers and touches were a heady mixture of dark desire and a twisted form of affection, leaving you both comforted and caught in his web of manipulation.
Joel’s voice was low and soothing, yet carried an undercurrent of dominance.
“You’re just a girl who needs someone to look after her,” he said, each word dripping with arousal.
“Let me take care of everything for you. You don’t need to worry about a thing while you’re with me. Just relax and let me handle it all, baby. I’m here to make sure you’re okay.”
His touch was slow and deliberate, slowly tucking up your dress, his words designed to reinforce both his control and your vulnerability.
You shivered as his lips pressed against your skin, your mind clouded with a mix of longing and confusion.
Joel’s voice was soft, almost tender, but with an unmistakable edge.
“You’ve been so lost and vulnerable,” he murmured, drawing you closer.
“You need someone strong to guide you, to make you feel safe. Let me be that for you. You don’t have to handle any of this alone. Just let go and let me take care of you.”
His lips brushed against yours, soft and insistent.
"Let me be that for you, let me take care of everything. You don't have to do anything but trust me."
As his lips pressed firmly against yours, he deepened the kiss, each movement reinforcing his words, pulling you further into his control.
His tongue slid into your mouth, exploring and claiming you with a possessive fervor.
"You're so sweet," he murmured between kisses, his voice raw and heated.
"I've been waiting for this, needing to feel you like this." His hands roamed possessively over your body, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss, his desire unmistakable in every touch and caress.
Joel’s lips remained locked on yours, the kiss growing more urgent and desperate.
His hands wandered over your body, exploring with a mixture of hunger and tenderness.
One hand gripped the back of your neck, pulling you closer, while the other slid down to your waist, pressing you firmly against him and his pulsing length.
His kisses were relentless, each one deeper and more insistent than the last.
He traced the contours of your lips with his tongue, his touch turning more possessive.
“You feel so perfect,” he whispered between heated kisses, his breath hot against your skin.
“I can’t get enough of you.” His fingers roamed over your body with increasing boldness, every touch stoking the fire between you.
Your body responded instinctively to his touch, even as your mind struggled to catch up.
Every caress, every lingering touch made you shiver, a mixture of confusion and pleasure rippling through you.
Your breathing quickened, each kiss and stroke sending waves of warmth through your veins.
Though you were unsure and your thoughts swirled with uncertainty, the sensation of his hands roaming over your skin felt undeniably good.
You leaned into his touch, your body betraying your confusion with a need that grew stronger with each passing second.
Your fingers clung to him, finding solace in the way he held you, even as a part of you grappled with the intensity of the moment.
You just want to finally feel safe again.
You clung to him, breath shaky and eyes wide with a mixture of confusion and need.
“Please,” you whispered urgently, voice breaking, “I need you to take care of me, to make me feel safe. I can’t do this alone anymore. I need you to be the one to make me feel good, to give me what I’m missing. I want you to be everything for me.”
Joel’s eyes darkened with a mix of lust and satisfaction. He pulled you closer, his voice a low, seductive murmur.
“Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea how much I’ve been waiting for you to say that. You need me to take care of you, to make you feel safe? I’m going to give you everything you’ve been craving. You don’t have to worry about a thing anymore—just let me be the one to fulfill all your desires.”
His hand traced a heated path along your side, each touch designed to ignite your senses further.
“Yes, please” you whimpered into his mouth.
That’s all he wanted.
Joel’s touch became reverent, his hands exploring your body with a possessive hunger. His lips followed the path of his fingers, kissing every exposed inch of skin as he spoke with a fervent, dirty intensity.
“Fuckin‘ perfect, every part of you is just for me,” he whispered against your collarbone, his breath hot and tantalizing.
“I want to worship every curve, every soft spot. you’re so fuckin beautiful, and you need me to show you just how much. Let me savor you, baby—every touch, every kiss is for you. You’re mine now, and I’m going to make sure you feel that deep in your bones.”
Joels lips slowly traveled down your body.
His breath was warm and heavy against your skin as he knelt before you. His gaze was dark, filled with an unrestrained hunger as he whispered, his voice a sultry murmur.
“so sweet, so irresistible,” he said, his fingers grazing your inner thighs with a teasing touch.
“I’m going to show you just how much you need me. You’re like a little princess who needs to be worshipped, and I’m more than happy to oblige. Let me taste every part of you, baby. I want to make you feel so good, so full of pleasure, you’ll never want to leave my side.”
Joel's hands were deft as he slowly peeled away the rest of your dress, his touch both deliberate and reverent. His lips traced a path along your skin.
"Need someone to think for you, hm?" he murmured, his breath sending shivers down your spine.
"To make every decision, every choice for you. You just need to surrender to me, let me take care of everything. I'll make sure you’re completely taken care of, baby. Just relax and let me handle everything."
His fingers continued their slow, teasing exploration, each movement fueling his deep, perverted desire to have you wholly in his control.
Joel carefully lifted you into his arms, carrying you toward his bed with a purposeful stride.
He lowered you gently onto the mattress, his hands lingering on your waist as he took in the sight of you in nothing but your underwear.
His breath was warm against your exposed skin as he settled beside you. "You're so perfect," he murmured, his voice a mix of tenderness and unspoken hunger.
"Just relax. I'm going to make sure you feel good."
His fingers traced lightly over your exposed skin, each touch both soothing and charged with a possessive intensity.
The sight of you, vulnerable and exposed, ignited a primal hunger deep within him.
Every curve of your body seemed to call out to him, each subtle movement you made only heightening his intense need.
The way you looked, soft and eager, made his pulse race with anticipation.
He imagined the many ways he could take control, shaping your need and dependence to match his desires.
The thought of making you entirely his, of fulfilling his fantasies and watching you respond to his every touch, filled him with a dark, thrilling excitement.
His cock, leaking and pulsing inside of his - now too tight - pants.
He couldn't help but notice the way his body reacted to you-how every time you were near, his pulse quickened, and that familiar ache stirred deep inside him.
It was unexpected, really. At his age, he thought those days were behind him, but being around you had changed everything.
His body responded to you in ways he hadn't felt in years, his cock hardening almost every time you so much as smiled in his direction.
It was like his body refused to let him forget just how much he wanted you-constantly reminding him, throbbing with need whenever you were close.
He lowered himself to the bed beside you, his breath warm against your skin.
“You’re so perfect,” he murmured, his voice laced with both tenderness and an unspoken hunger.
“Just relax. I’m going to make sure you feel good.”
His lips brushed softly against your stomach, his kisses slow and deliberate, hinting at the path his hands and lips might take.
“Let me show you how much I care,” he whispered, his breath making your skin tingle with anticipation.
Joel's hands moved with deliberate patience, his touch growing more assured as he pressed your thighs to open.
"You don't have to think about a thing. Daddy's got you."
Your breath caught in your throat when the word left his lips—daddy. It hit you like a shock, a jolt of something both unfamiliar and undeniably magnetic.
You weren’t sure how to process it, weren’t even sure you should. But it stirred something deep inside, a part of you you hadn’t acknowledged in so long.
The air between you thickened, your heart racing as the room suddenly felt smaller, warmer.
You knew you should say something, stop this before it went further, but your body betrayed you, leaning into the heat of his touch, the promise in his voice.
The word echoed in your mind, twisting through your thoughts, confusing you with how natural, how right it sounded in his mouth.
You wanted to push him away, to ask what he thought he was doing, but you didn’t.
Instead, you stayed—silent, wide-eyed—because part of you wanted to hear him say it again.
Part of you wanted to be taken care of, to be small, vulnerable, safe in a way you hadn’t been since...
Your heart thudded in your chest, and you couldn’t deny how the word sent a rush of warmth through you, settling low in your pulsing cunt.
Joel's lips hovered just above your skin, each kiss trailing lower, igniting a soft, trembling need within you. You moaned.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice rough with desire as his hands gripped your hips gently, holding you in place.
“Daddy’s gonna take care of you.”
His mouth moved slowly, deliberately, his breath warm as he teased you, each moment making your body tense in anticipation.
“You’ve been needing this, haven’t you?” he murmured, “My poor baby“, the words sending a shiver down your spine.
“Needed daddy so bad, hm?”
He paused, his lips hovering dangerously close, his voice dropping lower.
He lowered himself with a deliberate slowness, his gaze locked onto you with a mix of fervent anticipation and adoration.
“Let me show you just how much I want to take care of you,” he whispered, his voice a husky murmur, slowly taking of your damp panties - leaning in close.
His prominent nose brushed teasingly against your pulsing clit, sending a shiver through your entire body.
Each delicate nudge felt almost like a promise, hinting at what was to come.
The sensation left you both confused and intrigued, your breath quickening as you struggled to process the mingling of shock and unexpected pleasure.
His tongue made a tentative, deliberate swipe against you, licking your pussy gently, sending a shiver up your spine.
The sudden warmth and wetness made you gasp, your body reacting instinctively to the unexpected sensation.
A mix of confusion and pleasure swirled within you as your breath hitched, your fingers gripping the sheets, trying to steady yourself amidst the overwhelming, unfamiliar pleasure.
Joel noticed your inexperience in every hesitant gasp and shiver. It only made his cock harden more in his Jeans.
Joel's focus remained intently on your little cunt, his every touch purposeful. He moved with deliberate slowness, savoring the reactions you elicited.
His tongue traced light, teasing patterns onto your twitching clit, his breaths warm and soft against your skin, making you shiver with every delicate touch.
His lips lingered on your most sensitive part, the sensation of a subtle, rhythmic suction, barely perceptible yet unmistakably suggestive, creating a wave of shivering anticipation through your whole body.
You, already, were so close to the edge; Joel could see it clearly.
Your breaths came in rapid, uneven gasps, and your body quivered in response to his touch. He noticed the way your muscles tensed and the subtle tremors that ran through you.
The urgency in your breaths and the way your legs slightly shook were unmistakable signals of your nearing climax.
He pulled back just enough to watch, relishing the heightened tension as your eyes fluttered open, a mix of frustration and anticipation evident on your face.
Joel’s voice was low and filled with a dark, seductive promise. “I can feel how close you are, baby,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin.
“I want to feel you come undone, baby. I want to watch you lose control. Just give in and let Daddy take care of you.” His voice was a seductive whisper, every word designed to heighten your need, as his touch lingered, coaxing and teasing.
Slowly taking off his pants.
As Joel’s pants fell to his ankles, the sight that greeted you was both startling and mesmerizing. His leaking cock was noticeably larger than you had imagined, with a thickness that made your eyes widen in surprise.
The smooth, dark skin of his shaft was veined and visibly engorged, hinting at the intensity of his desire.
It was already leaking a glistening bead of pre-cum, which pooled at the tip and gave it an almost ominous sheen.
Joel's gaze never wavered from you, his eyes dark and filled with an unsettling mix of satisfaction and dominance.
“This is what you’ve done to me,” he said softly, his voice rough with need.
Cock jumping every time you looked down at him. “You’re the only one who makes me feel this way.”
You hesitated, a mixture of confusion and reluctance evident in your eyes. “I don’t know, Joel…”
He paused, his voice taking on a more commanding tone.
“If you don’t let go, baby, I might just have to leave you to figure it out on your own. You don’t want that, do you? Daddy’s here to take care of you, to make sure you’re okay. Trust me and let me help you.”
His words were wrapped in a mix of persuasion and a subtle edge of threat, aimed to coax you into surrendering.
You felt a flutter of apprehension mixed with a yearning need for his touch. His whisper, dripping with both authority and promise, coaxed you into a state of surrender.
“You don’t want me to leave, do you?” he murmured, his voice a low growl. “Say it, baby. Tell me you want me to stay.”
Your breath hitched as you struggled with the rising tide of vulnerability. Scared of being left alone again.
With a soft, hesitant voice, you finally whispered, „I want you to stay.”
His eyes darkened with a mixture of satisfaction and hunger as he heard you utter those words.
He cupped your face gently, his fingers tracing along your jawline as he continued to whisper soothingly, “That’s a good girl. Let me take care of you. Just relax and let me handle everything.”
His touch, though tender, carried an unmistakable edge of possessiveness, making it clear that he was in control.
He gazed at you with a warm, tender smile, his eyes softening as he brushed a stray lock of hair from your face.
“You’re so pretty, you know that?” he murmured, his voice gentle and affectionate.
“Such a good girl for me. I’m so proud of you.” He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, his tone filled with genuine adoration.
“You’re perfect, just the way you are. Let me take care of you.” His words were laced with a blend of endearment and possessiveness, wrapping you in a comforting cocoon of reassurance.
You felt a surge of warmth at his words, a mix of relief and comfort flooding through you.
You looked up at him, your eyes glistening with vulnerability.
A shy smile tugged at your lips as you leaned into his touch, finding solace in his praise.
The reassurance of being called "pretty" and "good girl" felt like a soothing balm, calming the storm of confusion and fear within you.
In his presence, despite everything, you felt a strange, tentative peace.
He leaned in again, his lips brushing softly against yours.
The kiss began gentle and tender, filled with a careful exploration of emotions.
His touch was both reassuring and passionate, gradually deepening as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer.
The heat between you intensified, the kiss becoming more urgent and consuming. Every caress of his lips was a promise of intimacy, blending comfort with an insistent desire.
As the kiss deepened, his hands began to explore your body with a gentle, possessive touch.
His fingertips traced a slow, deliberate path down your sides, moving closer to your chest.
With a careful, almost teasing touch, he caressed the curve of your breast through the fabric of your bra, savoring the way your body responded to his every movement.
His voice was low and commanding, his breath hot against your skin.
"Let me see all of you," he murmured, his hands already starting to slide your remaining clothes off with a mix of urgency and reverence.
"| want to see you all laid bare, just for me."
His eyes burned with intensity as he eagerly worked to reveal more of your body, his touch lingering with every movement.
As the fabric slipped away and your bare breasts were revealed, his eyes darkened with a primal intensity.
He gazed at you hungrily, his breath catching as he took in the sight. His fingers roamed eagerly over your skin, their touch lingering and possessive.
"God, you're incredible," he groaned, his voice dripping with desire.
"|'ve wanted to see you like this for so long." His hands explored your breast with a ferocity that left no doubt about his hunger, his gaze fixed on you with an almost obsessive fixation.
He couldn’t help but revel in the sight of you, so exposed and vulnerable before him.
His hands roamed possessively over your breasts, fingers tracing the curves and contours with a reverent touch.
His lips finally descended, capturing one of your nipples in a gentle, teasing kiss.
He nuzzled and licked, savoring the softness and warmth, his tongue flickering with a hunger that made his intentions clear.
Each delicate brush of his lips and tongue was an unspoken promise of his complete adoration, his perverted fascination with every part of you laid bare.
As Joel's tongue traced over your nipples, he couldn't help but let his mind wander.
The sensation of your skin against his lips, your warmth radiating through him and your sweet moans only fueled his thoughts.
He imagined you carrying his child, his own mark on you in the most intimate way.
Each teasing lick and gentle suck was accompanied by the fantasy of you pregnant, fulfilling a desire that went far beyond the present moment.
His mind drifted to the idea of you nourishing him in the most intimate way, the anticipation of tasting your milk driving him wild.
His cock throbbed incessantly, each pulse a painful reminder of just how much he yearned for you.
The ache grew with each touch, each kiss, until it became a near-constant throbbing, demanding release.
The sensation was overwhelming, an almost unbearable pressure that seemed to grow with every inch of contact, his desire for you mounting with every second
Joel’s breath grew ragged as he pulled back slightly, his eyes dark with desire.
He looked at you with a mix of need and intensity, his voice low and gravelly.
“Daddy needs to be inside you, sweet girl” he murmured.
He stared at you with a burning intensity, his voice a hushed whisper of urgency.
His movements were deliberate and filled with a raw desire that was impossible to ignore, his body pressing closer to yours with each passing moment, his breath hot and uneven against your skin.
You could feel the unmistakable pressure and heat of him as he positioned himself, at the opening of your tight pussy.
His eyes locked onto yours, a fierce determination in his gaze.
“I’ve waited for this moment,” he growled, his voice thick with desire.
Silently your voice whispered out to him, “Daddy,”
The sound of your voice seemed to unlock something deep within him.
Joel groaned as he pressed deeper, feeling the way your body clenched tightly around him.
The stretch was almost too much, and you could feel just how thick he was as he slowly sank inside, inch by inch. 
"God, you're so tight," he rasped, his voice thick with strain and something darker, almost possessive.
He paused, giving you a moment to adjust, his breathing heavy as he fought for control. 
"You feel so perfect around me," he murmured, his lips brushing your ear, the weight of him settling heavily against you. "Just relax, baby. Let me in." 
As Joel pushed deeper, your body reacted to the overwhelming sensation—a mix of pleasure and a sharp, lingering ache.
Each inch of him brought a new wave of heat that burned through you, the stretch almost too much, yet somehow not enough. 
You gasped, your body tensing under the pressure, unsure whether to pull away or draw him closer.
The pain ebbed with every slow movement, replaced by a growing warmth that made your pulse quicken.
“Easy,” Joel whispered, his voice thick and soothing, his lips grazing your neck.
“I know it’s a lot… but you’ll get used to it. Just let me take care of you. My sweet, pretty girl”
Your body responded instinctively, a wave of pleasure crashing over you with each deliberate thrust, making you feel completely and utterly exposed.
He pressed into you with a steady, deliberate force, each thrust deep and insistent.
The sensation of him moving inside you was both overwhelming and all-consuming, his control evident in every motion.
His thrusts were measured but powerful, pushing and pulling with an intensity that made each moment stretch, filling you completely.
The way he moved was both commanding and passionate, amplifying every sensation and hinting at his unrestrained desire.
Joel's sounds were raw and primal, each groan and sigh escaping him with a deep, guttural intensity.
His breaths came in short, ragged bursts, every exhale a mix of pleasure and need.
The way he grunted and muttered, his voice rough and strained, made it clear how much he craved and needed you.
His movements were urgent and powerful, driven by an almost feral desire that made him seem less controlled and more driven by pure, unfiltered instinct.
As he continued to move, he couldn't help but notice how perfectly you enveloped him.
Every shift and thrust seemed to be met with an almost intoxicating tightness, making each motion feel even more intense.
Joel's voice was rough, almost primal, as he spoke through gritted teeth.
"You're driving me crazy," he growled, the need in his voice palpable.
"I've been waiting for this, to have you just like this. You're so perfect, so tight...I want you to scream my name."
Each word was punctuated with a forceful thrust, his eyes dark with a perverted hunger.
"Tell me how much you need me, baby. Let daddy hear you."
You moaned softly, your voice trembling with a mix of desperation and surrender. "I need you so badly. I want you to take care of me, to give me everything."
His grip on you tightened, his breath hot and ragged against your ear.
"That's right. Tell me how much you crave me, how much you want me to make you feel good. I need to hear you beg for it."
Each thrust was deliberate, designed to push you to the edge of your limits, to make you feel every inch of his need.
He watched you intently, eager to hear every plea, every expression of your deep desire for him.
“Please,” you begged, your voice breaking with raw need. “Please, just—make me feel good. I need you so badly. I want you to take me completely.”
He thrust harder, a dark satisfaction in his eyes.
“Beg me. Tell me exactly what you want. How you want me to make you feel. I want to hear it.”
You whimpered, your body trembling under his relentless pace.
“I want you to touch me everywhere. Make me come so hard, I don’t know my own name. I need you inside me, every inch. Please, Daddy, don’t stop.”
His smirk widened, a cruel thrill in his voice.
“That’s it. Let me hear how much you need me. Tell me you’re mine.”
Your voice was a desperate, pleading whisper as you gasped, “Please, take over. I can’t think straight—just make me feel what I need.”
His eyes blazed with a primal hunger as he heard your desperate plea.
A low growl escaped him, filled with raw, unchecked desire.
"You want me to take over, baby?" he rasped, his voice thick with lust.
"'Il make you feel everything you need. Just give yourself to me completely."
His grip tightened, and his movements grew more urgent, driven by an insatiable need to dominate and fulfill your every desire.
His thrusts grew more insistent, every motion deliberate and filled with a primal urgency.
He pressed deeper, feeling the tightness of you enveloping him, each movement stirring an intense reaction within him.
His hands roamed over your body with an unrestrained hunger, lingering on your breasts as he traced their shape with a feverish touch.
He cupped them firmly, his fingers gently kneading and teasing, feeling your sensitive nipples.
He leaned closer, his voice dripping with possessiveness.
“You’re my perfect little girl, aren’t you? Let Daddy make sure you feel everything you’ve ever needed. I’ll take care of you in ways no man could ever do. No man ever did. “
Something about the way he said it - the promise, the claim - ignited something deep within you.
Your body responded to his words before your mind could catch up, and a wave of pleasure washed over you, muscles tightening around him as you trembled, overwhelmed by the release.
As Joel’s movements grew more insistent, his breathing quickened, the tension between you palpable.
His hands roamed over your body, his touch both commanding and tender.
Every thrust, every caress seemed to draw you both closer to the edge of an all-consuming release.
His eyes locked onto yours, dark with an intense, almost primal desire.
“Tell me you need me,” he rasped, his voice rough with the effort of holding back. “Tell me you’re mine.”
The pressure of his body against yours, the heat of his breath, and the intensity of his gaze all combined to overwhelm you.
You felt your own need rising, a reflection of his own desperate hunger.
“I need you,” you whispered, your voice trembling with both emotion and desire. “I’m yours.”
Joel’s grip tightened on you, his control slipping as his own climax approached.
“Good,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with a dark satisfaction. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”
His movements grew more urgent, his body pressing against yours with an almost unbearable intensity.
You could feel the unmistakable heat of his cock, deep inside. The rhythm of his thrusts becoming more erratic as he neared the point of no return.
With a final, deep groan, Joel’s body tensed, and you felt the surge of his release, his warmth spreading inside you.
His hands held you tightly, his breathing ragged as he let out a low, satisfied sigh.
The moment was both primal and intimate, a profound culmination of the need that had driven you both.
As his movements gradually slowed, you could feel the lingering heat of his cum inside of you, a reminder of the intense connection you shared.
Joel’s voice, now soft and breathless, whispered against your ear. “I needed this… I needed you.” His hands continued their slow, lingering caress, as if unwilling to let go of the moment, of you.
You lay there, caught between the afterglow of your shared intensity and the deep, unspoken understanding of what you both had given
Joel turned to you, his gaze dark with an intensity that made you shiver.
His hand wandered, brushing lightly against your lips before sliding down to gently caress your breast, a possessive touch that left no room for misunderstanding.
You looked up at him, a mix of confusion and an unspoken need flickering in your eyes. “But what happens now?”
“You don’t have to worry about anything, baby,” he murmured, his voice low and seductive.
“Tonight was all about showing you just how much you mean to me—and how much I need you.”
Joel’s fingers traced idle patterns on your skin, his touch both tender and insistent.
“It means you’re mine,” he said, his voice dropping to a more intimate tone. “And it means I’m here to take care of everything. You don’t need to think about a thing.”
You shivered as his thumb brushed over your nipple, the sensation sending a jolt through you. “I just want to feel like I belong somewhere.”
Joel’s smile was a mix of satisfaction and possessiveness.
“You belong with me. I’ll make sure you never feel empty again. We both have our voids, but together, we fill them.”
His fingers continued their slow, teasing exploration, making your breath catch with each gentle touch.
“You’re not just filling a space, baby. You’re giving me everything I need.”
You felt a strange blend of relief and anticipation. “I guess... I needed this too. I can just let go.”
Joel’s hand lingered on your breast, his grip firm yet reassuring.
“That’s right. You don’t have to think about anything else. Just be here with me, and let me take care of you. I want to see you happy, feel you close.”
The way he spoke, his voice thick with desire, made you feel a mix of comfort and excitement.
His touch was a constant reminder of the connection you now shared, both physical and emotional.
As you settled into his embrace, you felt a strange sense of completeness, knowing that, in this moment, you were filling the emptiness for each other in a way that was both intense and deeply satisfying. It’s all gonna be okay. Right?
· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··
These two really need therapy! Hope y’all enjoyed x
Probably will only do oneshots & smut scenarios with these two fuckers- from now on.
Also, I had no beta, so if you see anything that needs correction, let me know!
388 notes · View notes
dietlemonadee · 1 year
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ok fuck this I'm gonna post this song cuz i cried listening to it and still am
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hoseoksluna · 6 months
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LIQUID STARS | jjk
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pairing: fuck buddy!jungkook x f. reader (feat. bam)
genre: angst, smut
word count: 11.8k
summary: to seal the deal, you give jungkook what he wants—your kiss, your cunt and your virginity.
playlist: liquid stars / pinterest board: wine
warnings: size kink, heavy dd/lg themes, provocation, dry humping, dirty talk, mentions of porn, oral sex (f. + m. receiving), multiple orgasms & countdown, dom/sub dynamics, reader has daddy issues (like the writer), first time, jealousy, inner child healing, plushie used during intercourse, jungkook fucks her numb & dumb, praise kink, cum eating, pet names and the establishment of a title, bondage, raw sex, tummy bulge, desperation, pain felt during intercourse, squirting
note: as difficult as it was to write this, i'm immensely thankful. this changed my life; it healed me and i'll dream about it for a long, long time. i was as exhausted as oc once i finished this, because i truly did give my all. everyone, this is part four to my series 'wine' and therefore the very end. this is the very beginning of jungkook's and oc's relationship. can be read as a standalone as there aren't any quirks from the other parts (except for bunny), though if you wish to read them now, now is the perfect time. now you can see the beautiful gradual development of their relationship. please, enjoy as you read and let me know your favorite parts bc i need to talk about this. heed the warnings as there are dd/lg themes that can be uncomfortable for some. thank you! and thank you for all the love on this series. i'll never forget it. i love you, guys. ʚɞ
side note: give some round of applause for 3D daddy provider jungkook everyone!! he deserves it!!!
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Silky lilac bows adorn the tops of your pigtails that cascade down in loose braids, sprawled on the cotton of his pillow and on the soft belly of a bunny plushie. There are still traces of sunlight left on the bedding, which dissolve, little by little, into nothingness as the large star goes down, saying goodbye. It’s lightweight, the atmosphere—homely almost. And much to your surprise, you feel relatively at ease, despite the fact a man lies on top of you—a man you have a certain liking for. 
It was natural for you to end up here and you, yourself, wished for it, even. Deemed it was only right after the man took you around for a walk while his silly Doberman guarded each and every step both of you had taken in sync, especially so when he persisted in buying you a small plastic ring of the same bunny you’re lying against. He didn’t even forget about his own canine friend waiting outside patiently like the obedient dog he is, and fed him the snackies he got for him as soon as he returned from the shop. You swore Bam was as giddy as you when he received his gift. 
Now the ring glints in the last rays of the sun. His, too. 
While yours is as white as the cloudy morning sky, Jungkook’s is as black as the drowsily dozing night sky. You think it’s the perfect contrast between the pair of you. Not that you should be noting these things, considering you’re just friends. But his skin is satiny soft, painted in impressionist tattoos, while his muscles, that his well-fitted T-shirt graciously allows you to see, are strong. You’re sure he could just lift you and throw you around without much of a strain. And it certainly doesn’t help that he’s such a striking image of pure beauty. How could you not notice these intertwinings when they’re this lovely?
You like him—without a shadow of doubt. Can feel the call of an emotional attachment forming the more he studies your skin with the tip of his index finger, embellished with the Miffy ring, and it’s owed to the fact you’ve never been touched this way before. No one has ever come this close, no one has ever been interested in the moles scattered upon your shoulders, in the veins that make the pathway to the column of your neck. No one has ever gazed twice at them—but Jungkook?
He hasn’t stopped looking at them ever since he laid you down in the middle of his bed. 
How could you stop such a call? Such a lull, such a magnetic pull. You know you should, but for the meantime, you simply don’t want to. Can’t lose this moment, can’t lose this once in a lifetime opportunity—
Jungkook presses his lips against the prominent mole in the center of your left shoulder. Those pretty, puffy lips, closing against your skin, the smallest dart of tongue swiping past. It shocks you for a moment before the feeling dissolves beneath, adjusting within the freshness of your system. How could you refuse such dynamic poetry, expressed against your own forlorn body? When it’s so blatant that it’s natural, that your body willingly accepts it without a fight. 
You couldn’t. 
Stretching your fingers between the thick strands of his hair, you close your eyes to savor the feeling of being wanted. The movement of his mouth, going even as far as to the first vein rooted in your arm—following it with those half-closed pillows. Up, up until he finds the line of your collarbone. Jungkook pauses there, simply breathes against you before he interperses little pecks there, nibbles and gentle swipes of tongue. The lining of your top won’t let him go further down, so he changes direction—relies on the pathway of your veins to guide him to your neck. And there… at the first contact, you grip the roots of his hair. 
His kisses and nibbles are much harder here. And what’s worse, he takes the sensitive skin into his mouth and sucks. You fail at containing the whimpers that break out of your mouth and Jungkook reacts to them. Hums ever so deeply, rocks his hips against the mattress. You wish you were a bit bigger so you could feel the collision, but you’re just so small compared to his large form. You imagine he’s writing down the poems collecting inside of him with each cursive roll of his tongue. Wonder if there’s enough paper on your skin for all his words. 
“You sweet little thing,” Jungkook coos onto the crook of your neck, dragging his lips up and down before he stops at your jaw. You feel the warmth of his breath and his body heat seeps into yours, creating unity, blackening the ink. It feels strange, it feels so new. Brisk and springlike, like fresh air in a stuffed room. You want to stay here for a long time, tasting the wholeness of spring captured in him. You want his words to flush you red with the tinge of the entire sunlight that opens the buds of flowers during all seasons in a loop. “Can I kiss you?”
You haven’t gone beyond the innocent touching of hands with him. You brim with a tight feeling of thankfulness that he asked you such a graceful question, although something else steals your attention entirely. 
“Little?” you say, the smile on your lips pulled so taut that it quivers ever so slightly. It makes you crazy that he calls you that, but you play the game. Revel in it. “What do you mean little? I’m bigger than you.”
Jungkook cocks his brow at you, mouth falling into a lopsided grin. He sits back and you feel a whiff of coldness pass by the perimeter of your body, as if someone opened the window and let the winter air in, when it’s just his brief distance that caused it. The forming attachment in you tenses and before you can think about your actions, your hand finds his knee, his thigh and traces slow patterns there. Jungkook suddenly squeezes your waist, surprising you, and the ecstatic fluttering of butterfly wings break havoc all over your body. The solidness of his hands, their weight, their firmness, giving life to your body, meaning. You note how his fingers touch when he has his hands enveloped around you like that. And the inkling that your body matters in his hands like that slips into your mind, spreading through its axis. 
You bite your lower lip. A small ache begins to grow in your intimate parts. It’s so nice to be wanted, to be considered good enough to be touched, to be kissed. 
“You? Bigger than me?” Jungkook squeezes your waist again. Sucks in a breath through his teeth. Smiles softly; in a way that you find unbearably endearing. “No, you’re just little. Just a tiny, little bug. So tiny in my hands.” 
For the breath he inhaled, you exhale it. 
He leaves his hands there when he bends over you, hovering his lips over yours. His weight, his heat. You sigh against him in relief, in a newly blossoming excitement that he’s back again. You spread your legs wider, feet grazing his calves—
“Let me kiss you, please.” 
You’d give in, but the game is just so pleasurable. 
Your laugh is but a breath. “You wanna kiss me?” 
You exhaled, he inhaled. 
“Don’t ask stupid questions.”
“Since when do friends kiss?” You cock your eyebrow at him just like he did, prodding your tongue on the inside of your cheek. 
He hovers a little bit higher above you, hanging his head in defeat, sighing. Places his hands in fists on either side of you, caging you in. 
“Premium friends do,” he mutters, lifting his head, face all serious. You dig your toe into the toned muscle of his thigh, twirling sweet little circles, gliding up and down. Watch as his eyes lid and he tries to control it. “Don’t do that or I’ll fuck you.” 
Your body panics, but you will it to relax. 
“Does that come with the premium subscription?” 
Jungkook purses his lips, supports his weight on one hand as the other, the tattooed one, grips your jaw. He squishes your cheeks, bites his lip once—seemingly ponders whether he should play your game or not before he lets go of your pout, but still keeps his hand there. He traces the shape of your lips with this thumb, feeding his desire to kiss you with scraps. 
“Yes,” he utters. “Kisses, orgasms, my dog. It’s all—”
Orgasms, not just sex. Orgasms. 
“I get to take Bam?” 
Jungkook tuts at you. “You get to take me,” he corrects you. “Though, can even such a little thing like you take me?” 
Probably not. Definitely not. 
“But what about Bam?” 
He looks at you as if he couldn’t believe the words you’re saying, turning his head slightly to hear you better. Then, he scoffs, running his tongue across his lips swiftly, letting them express the enjoyment of your provocation by stretching into a smirk. He places his hand back on the right side of you, thinking over his words. 
“Bam is mine, but you can pet him. You can kiss him.” You can hear the feigned venom in that word as he spits it and you grin, pleased with yourself. You enjoy doing this to him. “And if you’re good, I’ll let you take him out for his walkies.” 
You gasp slowly, fingers absentmindedly gripping his thigh. Butterflies buzz you with a mere hint of arousal and to convey it, you wet your top lip with the tip of your tongue. The dominance, the principle of proving to him whether you’re deserving of something. Your heartbeat quickens, reaching for him with each swell. 
Oh, you’ll be good. You’ll be good until he’s sick of it. 
It seems he’s as pleased with himself as you were with yourself, reading your body language as he beams down at you, dimples poking holes in his cheeks. You want to stick your fingers there, pinch the skin at the corners of his mouth. Feel them, kiss them—
“Deal.” 
Jungkook blinks at you. He most likely expected you to be difficult. You like the look of surprise on him. A sweet kind of glint perches itself upon his irises. You’re at awe of how he manages to be so adorable and alluring at the same time. You could never understand it. You deem he must be otherworldly. 
“A kiss to seal the deal?” he tries, raising his brows, lowering himself to his elbows. 
He skims his lips across your cheek, descending to your neck. Places one, singular kiss there. Lifts his head to hear your answer, a soft curtain of hair falling across his forehead. 
You make a face as if you’re thinking about it. 
Jungkook groans. 
It’s cold, the way he turns away from you and it startles you—but then he slides his hands under your back and lifts you with ease, sitting you down on his lap. He moves you from the muscles on his thighs to the hardness of his intimate parts and you groan at the feeling of it. You’re wearing an airy short skirt with tights and knee socks underneath, the barrier so thin that you feel the solid, thick shape of him right under your femininity. 
You rock against him once. Jungkook lets out a sound akin to yours, fingers flexing—hands almost reaching for your behind before he decides against it and keeps them planted against your back. 
He desires your consent. And that makes you feel light-headed. Tipsy on the wholeness of him, on the pleasure coursing through your body. 
You rock your hips again—and this time, Jungkook whimpers. 
You take your hands and, slowly, you make a pathway down his chiseled chest. He twitches against you when your fingers pass by his nipples, his body following and squirming along. And once you reach the definition of his abdomen, your hands rise and fall against its quickening movement as his lungs heave. You’re mesmerized by his reaction to your touch. It’s as if it was his first time as well and something about that makes you woozy, savage and absolutely feline. 
And something about the way you’re allowed to do as you please, whereas he’s not, strengthens that state of mind, enriches it, thoroughly worsens it. 
You want him. 
It began with a ring and ended right here. 
And the process of your decision starts at his hips, finalizes at the pebbles of his nipples and finishes completely at the sides of his neck. He gives you the same, if not better, reaction, his manhood moving against you, and it’s settled. 
The giving of virginity to seal the deal, not just a kiss. 
Hovering your lips against his, you slip your hand to the place where you’re connected to feel up the shape of him. You moan onto him, vigorous power seizing you, propelling you to wrap your fingers around him. The breaths Jungkook emits are desperate, tortured, wafting over you, intoxicating you. It fills you with confidence unlike any other that you’re able to coax such a thing of beauty out of him—that you, the artist, have the upper hand momentarily while he doesn’t. 
And he waits, depends on you. You want to cry due to how happy it makes you, due to the way it suffuses an empty part of you, left abandoned by someone who should’ve taken care of it a long, long time ago. 
Because of that—if it’s kisses that he wants, you’ll give him as many as his body desires as a thank you. 
“You’re so hard against me,” you whisper. 
Jungkook grips your waist hard. 
“If you want it, you have to seal the deal,” he mimics your intonation, voice deep, tingling your tummy. 
“I want it.” You clutch both of your hands on his jawline, thumbs finding the invisible dimples. 
“Kiss me, then.” 
You whimper at the longing to do so. Your tummy clenches, butterflies inside swarm around and—
When you close your lips against his top lip, they burst into smithereens. Jungkook sighs in relief, enveloping you in his warmth. 
The kiss is hungry. You expected his first taste of you to be careful, contemplative, but he goes all in. Takes charge of the lip lock, swallowing you whole, moving against you, uttering low sounds that make your head spin and you just comply. Accept that you’re the one who submits to his craving and you find yourself liking it; find yourself wanting to deepen your submission. 
You wrap your legs around his waist, your head tilted as you reciprocate all of those hard kisses. When he comes up for air, he just gazes down at you, out of breath. One hand still on your back, the other cradles your cheek. There’s something puzzling in his eyes, as if he was fighting something within. You’re radiated by that energy, heavied down by it, letting him pet you like a puppy while you wait for the next step. 
“You’re so good that I’m considering letting you take Bam out,” he breathes, curling a wisp of your hair behind your ear. “Sweet little thing.” 
He pecks you once. You grind against his manhood and as he shortly groans onto your mouth, you splutter into giggles. Behind you, as if he heard him, the dog peeks his head out of the door, giving his Daddy a questioning look. Jungkook chuckles. 
“Bam, house.” 
The dog leaves and Jungkook sinks his fingers into your hair, sighing. Kisses you, again without tongue—only does what you’ve allowed him, but you overflow with the desire for more. He’s so considerate, so respectful and while you’re grateful for it, you want to break it. Your trust in him, made whole by all that he’s done for you, settled within you, made a bed in the sensitive parts of you that now shine. He doesn’t need to remain there—you want to go beyond that. 
“Touch me, please.” You look up into his eyes as you say it, willing them to see with all your energy how much you want him. 
He rubs soothing circles on your back. “If I touch you, I’ll fuck you, sweetheart.” 
You lift your butt ever so slightly and bounce down on him, your skirt furling. Jungkook moans, pleasing you to the core. It’s bratty of you, but it serves him right for being so stubborn, so firm in his control. You want to break him. 
“Can’t you see how much I want that?” you purr, bunching the cotton of his T-shirt in your fists. 
He merely shakes his head, licking his lower lip, fucking with you. He tugs on one of your braided pigtail, the other hand gliding to your hipbone. “This little girl is horny? I couldn’t tell.” 
A yellow light, sleepy in nature, spills through the blinds, latching onto the side of your neck. His eyes flick to it and his teeth sink into the wetness of his lip. He looks back at you when he says, “what was it that made you horny? The neck kisses?” 
He straps both of his hands to your hipbones now, adjusting you so your sweetest spot rests against his cock, rocking your hips like he wants them to. He swallows down his noises, makes room for yours. You figure he wants to hear them. 
You think about what made you horny. His respectful behavior. An electric spark spasms in your core at the memory and you roll your body against his at the impact—nipples pebbled, grazing below the hardness of his pecks. You moan loudly. He breathes heavily, can’t for the life of him contain that, gripping you with strength that will surely leave bruises. You add it to the list. 
His control—the momentary, delicious lack of it, too. The dominance that follows it. His noises and how unrestrained he is when it comes to them. The allure and the attractive charm of his looks, blended with that insufferable cutesiness. His hard cock. The neck kisses, too, of course. 
You summarize your answer and you tell him, “you.” 
A hitch in his throat. “Fuck.” 
Fuck, indeed. Fuck the steady rhythm—Jungkook speeds up your movement, the pace so fast your pigtails and your ribbons bounce, tits following suit. Your breath falls in step, moans echo within the walls of his room. He kisses you harshly, but that doesn’t silence you. He swallows your noises down, grunting. 
“You wanna know what made me hard for you?” 
You nod your head, lips forming a natural pout at the loss of contact. 
“Those fucking pigtails of yours. The knee socks. How tiny you are in my hands. Seeing you lose your fucking mind when I kissed your neck. Those marks I left behind, hm, fuck yes. Those marks made me crazy,” he mutters, staring you down. “And you know what else?” 
You wait for his answer as white flashes blind you, your roaring orgasm beckoning you close. He doesn’t stop rocking you against him, not once. Fills your brain with emptiness with his words coated wet by his dominant energy. You feel your own wetness soaking the fabric of your panties. 
“Your brattiness,” he says. “I want to fuck it out of you and make a good girl out of you that won’t misbehave again with her smart words.” 
A faint part of you, half affected by the pleasure he gives you, arises to stand up for you. “But I was good and you said so.” 
He clicks his tongue, disapprovingly shaking his head. Slows down the pace so you’re able to hear him loud and clear, your orgasm backing away. “You see the thing is with little bratty girls like you, even when they act good for me, there’s still that dark little side of them that hides. Unless I fuck it out of them, they play with me. And trust me, I like the game until I don’t.” 
You frown at him, but a moan betrays you. A fight throngs inside of you, his dominance yet again permeating you, causing you to flourish, but on the other hand, you don’t like being added to the mix. You want to be the only one—and it makes you angry that he had someone like you before you, that he even said it altogether. Though unfortunately, that’s something you can only keep to yourself. 
The forming attachment breaks, splitting into two, with the knowledge that your wish is futile. You understand he said it for the sake of the role-play that you both naturally, wordlessly established through sexual attraction, but you still have a lot of getting used to within the dynamic. He’s experienced, you’re not. Though, when you think about it, he doesn’t know a thing about your purity. You never told him. 
You blame yourself for your own pain. It’s your fault—you should’ve had a conversation with him about it before you let him do anything to you, instead of playing flirty games with him. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt, if he knew you were a virgin. The thought of what you’ve done stains you, makes you feel filthy, but you will it to kneel inside of you like a wounded animal. You need to be strong if you don’t want to storm out of his room in tears. 
No attachment, no liking. 
Just sex. 
There’s still a frown to your face, despite the fact you set yourself free with your decision. Jungkook chuckles at it, oblivious to your internal storm. 
“You didn’t like that, did you?” You didn’t like being compared to other girls he’d been with; there’s nothing to be said of the like about the role-play aspect. Being called bratty did rouse a moan out of you. “You prove my words right.” 
You roll your eyes. Jungkook grips your ass hard and spanks you. As the sting reverberates, along with it comes the realization you got what you wanted. 
You broke him. 
And now you have to face the repercussions. 
Good thing you’ve sobered up from the stupefaction of your arousal. 
You cradle his face and kiss him deeply in effort to change the narrative. No feeling of affection from earlier hangs upon your heart and you find that it’s easier like this. No strings, no pain. It relieves you—so much that you sense a layer of lightness to your body and tiny, manageable tears well in your eyes. You get to enjoy this after all. 
There’s radiance to your eyes, rooted in hope, and true softness to your words when you say, “I want you to fuck it out of me. I want you to be my first.” 
You want to be different—your pride is uninfluenced by your decision. If he fucks it out of you, the new narrative you’re longing for will fully take place and make living through this bearable. You know you can’t have him the way you’d like, but if fate wrote that you’re to have him this way—you don’t mind altering it to the little desires you’re allowing yourself to have. 
Once in a lifetime opportunity. You can’t lose it. 
Jungkook is left astounded by your words, eyes widening, shock evident on his features. Like your words, he softens, unclenching his fingers from your suppleness, the darkness in his irises making a way for gentleness to come through. He rubs the small of your back, hands ascending to your spine, feeling the clip of your bra, until he finds the nape of your neck. He holds you there, tenderly, as if you were a porcelain doll he now was careful not to break. 
The change in his demeanor is stark. It surprises you as well—and like everything that has happened within the hour, it isn’t something you expected from him. The emotion that emerges from the roundness of his eyes touches the hardness of your decision, tries to get through, pokes a gap inside, letting the light in. 
He tucks his darkness back inside. Strokes the back of your head, the silky ends of your ribbons sifting through his slender fingers. You relax against him and your body does it for you. It welcomes his tenderness, glad for the truth to be out. You fight against it—against yourself, willing your decision not to break but remain firm. 
No strings, no pain.
But to no avail. The light spreads. His light. Celestial twinkles of stars, small parts of him that make him who he is. 
“You’ve never had anyone before me?” he husks, regret glossing over his eyes, holding your head firmly as he awaits your answer. More stars spill like liquid. 
You shake your head ‘no’, your chest tightening. 
He kisses you and there’s something different about the way he does it. Now you can sense the carefulness you searched for earlier and you taste the primal core of loving care in the movement of his lips. The kisses are long, deep. As if you’re a different person now, a girl unlike any of the ones he mentioned. Someone who matters, someone who’s solid. You’re back at the beginning. 
A lump forms in your throat. 
“You sure about this?” he asks. 
One part of you, greater and illuminated by his stars, wants it gently like this, with flowers of innocence and purity besprinkled across his features, never leaving you out of his sight, taking care of you. But you fear that if you allow him to be tender, your heart will choose him again and cling to his side. The other, more faint part of you, affected by your decision, thinks it’s better to stick to the role-play, for there’s the aspect of illusoriness that will not bruise anyone’s hearts, especially not yours. It will make you horny, Jungkook will get you off and, glowing, you’ll go home.
You can’t decide. It’s too much of a heavy weight to bear on your shoulders. You can’t do it.
You need him to say the word. You need him to decide what will be the face of the trajectory of your premium friendship. 
Flowery or deceitful? 
A small candlelight in you hopes for gentleness and purity before your fear unfairly puffs it out. 
“Yes, I’m sure. I want you.” 
Jungkook lays you down and, at last, you feel his manhood against you. He bends to pepper apologetic kisses along the column of your neck and you feel the authenticity of his regret, thrumming against you warmly. Your breath hitches in your throat, the principle of the candlelight in you not being a high hope after all—
“I’m sorry. I should’ve gone about this better.” A kiss to your cheek; you stifle your sobs. “I should’ve checked in with you, but I jumped straight in. This was a mistake on my part. I’m sorry.”
He blames himself, not you. 
You want to remain stoic, but his authenticity beckons yours to come out and envelop him whole, gives access to your emotions and you can’t stop the miniature teardrop from flowing down the side of your nose. Neither can you stop the words that follow its footsteps. 
“I should’ve told you first,” you whisper, sniffling. Jungkook furrows his brows at the expression of your pain in tender emotion, wiping it away. “But I was bad—reckless.” 
He chuckles softly, caressing your hair. “You’re an angel. Sent to my side for me. You weren’t bad. I didn’t mean what I'd said.” 
His words, his touch, the kiss he adds to your cheek to punctuate his sentence—Jungkook erases everything that has just happened. 
Newness rushes in your chest, the pouring of spring into summer permeates your whole being. You hear the birds sing, the rustle of flimsy flower petals on tree branches as the warm wind grazes it with its touch. Jungkook seals this feeling by pressing a kiss to your sternum. 
He said it, so it must be so. You trust him. 
The firmness of the cage around your decision unlatches. Doesn’t fly away like the birds. Is a little bit afraid of peeking out. The candlelight returns to light up the room around that cage, blossoming into the sun. 
“We don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to,” he says, looking up at you from the place where he dragged your top down to kiss your skin. 
The sun rays in you absorb all of the darkness. The firmness extends one wing. 
You run your fingers through his hair. Figure the only thing the summer in you is missing is the heat. You want him, you want sex and you don’t want to think about feelings or consequences. You don’t want to choose between anything anymore. You just want to enjoy yourself. 
“I meant it when I said that I want you to be my first,” you say, fingers curling around his ear. Jungkook leans into your touch and it’s as if he’s massaging the wing to alleviate it from a cramp due to being tucked in for so long. 
“Okay,” he sighs, taking your hands and pinning them on the pillow and bunny above your head. He sits up, examines you and you wonder if he can see how truly fragile you feel. “Do you trust me?” 
He’s had half a year of going out with you, mingling his life with yours, spending money on you and treating you like an absolute treasure to build your overall trust. And what he did just now? How he erased your pain? Your nod is immediate; you don’t need to think twice. 
“Of course I trust you.” 
“Good.” A soft smile. “I’ll make sure your first time will be beautiful for you.” 
Your heart thuds. His words steal all the breath in your lungs, smoothing out the surface of your body for his stars to fill. Tears prick at your waterline. 
“Are you scared?” 
You’re an empty canvas. 
“Not anymore.” 
Jungkook nods, gladness pulsating off of him. “I’ll be here the whole time. I won’t leave you, not even once, okay?” 
“Okay.” 
He finds the zipper on the side of your skirt and yanks it down. “How many times do you wanna come?” 
The ridiculousness of the question makes you laugh and you hide your face beneath your palms. “To be honest, I don’t expect to come at all. It is my first time after all.” 
You marvel at the honesty seeping out of you. His work, no doubt. 
Jungkook frowns, ridding you of the skirt, fingers hooking under the hem of your top. At the reveal of your pink, flowery, see-through bra, he stops altogether, stunned. He fondles the material, grazing over your soft nipples, at last reaching the embroidery of the small petals. He gasps in wonder, eyes flicking to your intimate parts to see if you’re wearing a matching set. 
The same flowers adorn the suppleness of your tummy. 
Jungkook smiles at his discovery. Is hasty as he drags the nylon of your tights down your legs, along with your knee socks. 
“I’ll decide how many times you come for me, then.” 
Heat pools in your femininity. There it is, the dominance that you love. Yet this time, it’s laced with his gentleness. Heaven on earth—a meadow full of flowers in the middle of summer. Like the ones on your lingerie. 
Joy grasps your heart. “Do I get to know before you start?” 
Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss on your tummy. “What, you wanna count them down for me?” 
You asked just because, but the idea excites you. You nod. 
Your response prolongs the rumble of his laughter and you feel its vibration as he kisses his way up to your clothed breasts. You’d think he’d focus his attention on them, but he straightens—reaches for something behind him and retrieves your white knee socks. He bunches them in his hands and puts them on you as if he were dressing a child. 
Paradoxically, goosebumps spread all over your thighs. 
Smoothing the material over your thighs, he lies back down against you, lips latching on the spillage of your breasts that your bra gives him. While it feels dizzying, you still want to know the number. You poke him in the bulging muscle of his arm and in the process, you flush his cheeks red. 
Jungkook pushes your tits together and licks over the line in the middle. The sight of the shine of his wet tongue against it drenches your pussy, ruining your pretty underwear, and you want him there, on your sweetest spot. Your nipples stand to attention and Jungkook listens to their call, thumbs brushing across them. 
You mewl, grinding your hips against his stomach. 
“Two times when I eat you out; two times around my cock,” he answers finally, awakening your butterflies. “How many times is that, then?” 
Amidst the pleasure, you do the math. “Four.” 
“That’s right. You think you can do that for me?” 
You’re not sure. In fact, you’re not sure of anything—lost in his touch, in his energy. 
“I don’t know,” you say, truthfully, skimming his face for a sliver of disappointment in his features. 
You find none. Only tenderness—round, soft eyes, brown in the light he radiates, nose and mouth buried in your tits, sucking on the skin, making you feel good. 
“That’s okay. We’ll try together. Nothing bad is gonna happen to you if you don’t come as many times. Or at all. I promise.” 
Your chest clenches. You grab his face and kiss him, licking over his bottom lip before you slip your tongue inside. Jungkook grunts, rolls his own muscle over yours, tasting you, feeling you. He inhales sharply against you, once again taking charge of the kiss, taking each and every thought and negative feeling you had and crushing it to smithereens. 
He lifts you and switches places with you, sitting you down on his lap with your back supported by his chest. He roams his hands all over you—tits, tummy, hips, sides and thighs while he busies his mouth on your shoulder. As your eyes follow each movement, you notice the marks he embellished your breasts with and your arousal grows—so much that you take his wandering hands and hook them under the waistband of your underwear, guiding them down your thighs. 
There’s a change to his breath when his index and middle finger feels up the fleshiness of your cunt for the first time. Hard, raggedy and absolutely tormented. He glides those digits up and down your dewiness, listening for the squelching sound that makes his cock twitch beneath you. 
He moans onto your neck, nose tracing the column on its way to your ear.  “How do you touch yourself?” 
A sudden shyness overtakes you and you turn your head, needing to hide in his neck this time. You remain silent, the words lodged in your throat. 
Jungkook sees you. 
“Do you rub your little clit from side to side or in circles?” he questions, helping you answer. 
“I—I like both,” you whisper onto his skin, moving your hips so his fingers slip to your clit, the sweet spot where you need him the most. He grabs the back of your thigh and lifts it, spreading you open, meanwhile you chase the firmness of his fingers.
“Just like that, ride them,” he husks, eyes dazed, fixed on the roll of your pelvis. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” 
Head on top of yours, you nod, never ceasing your movement, transfixed, just like him, by the constant way the pads of his fingers fondle your clit before dipping between your lips. The heat of the summer tightens in your lower belly and it’s a desperate litany of begging what your mouth utters, despite the fact you’re not really sure what you’re asking for, but you let him hear it. You’re close, so unbelievably close, yet still have a road to walk on before you, and you close your eyes to feel the delight of his touch more deeply, only to find that you manage to do nothing of the kind. 
When you sense his eyes on you and by instinct you reciprocate his stare, that’s when you feel the depth you sought after. Mouth parted, pupils dilated, eyelashes a drowsy catastrophe, messy hair casting a soft shadow over the planes of his blissed-out face. You want to kiss him. You want to make him feel as good as he’s making you feel—
“Let me do it now,” Jungkook says hurriedly, sensing the nearness of your climax. 
“Yes,” you croak out, halting the movement of your hips—and ‘yes’ is the word that ripples out of your mouth a hundred, a thousand more times when he spreads you wider and rubs his fingers on your clit from side to side. 
He feels the pleasure in sync with you, accepting all of your yes’, twisting his face the moment yours does, quickening the rapidness of his hand once he switches to circles to carry you to your summer-breathed paradise. 
And when you come all over his hand, he slips two fingers inside your hole.
He stills the buck of your hips. 
You widen your eyes at the new feeling of fullness and, panicking and constricting around him, you look at Jungkook, who merely strengthens his hold around you. 
“Trust me,” he says, breathing heavily. He doesn’t move his fingers past his first knuckles; he lets you adjust to the size. Gives you a kiss full of tongue to distract you. “Does it burn?”
You begin to pant against his mouth, the high of your orgasm long gone. You’re uncertain to count it as one when it was so short lived, ruined by the sudden plunge of his digits. But much to your surprise, you don’t detect any burn in your walls that he speaks of, which you realize was his intention.
“No, it just feels a bit uncomfortable.” 
He kisses you again. You feel your lips go numb, eyes lidding at the pressure you feel as he sinks his fingers a little bit deeper and begins to move them sluggishly, your slick creating another ring for him around his fingers. You try to meet his thrusts as the visceral sensation of being filled by longer, thicker fingers settles within you and takes roots. You discover that movement is the key to parting the uncomfortable feeling and it steps to the side to let the pleasure walk forward.  
Jungkook presses his palm flat against your clit, guides the pleasure to envelop your body when he plunges his fingers deeper, past the second knuckles and fucks you in swift jerks. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan and he fills in the sound, expressing his fiery delight for you at the clench of your walls against him, accommodating for him, for his desire to stretch you out, so when he finally enters you, no pain comes to greet you. 
Deeper and harder—yes, that’s what feels good. You roll your body, becoming waves of the sea as wetness and the build up of pleasure—seafoam—is all your senses wrap around. 
“Feels good, baby?” 
His need to check in with you speeds up the nearing expansion of your orgasm. Pointer and pinky finger digging into the skin of your backside, you watch the in and out motion, the digits coming out wetter and wetter each time.
“Feels so fucking good. I’m gonna come. I’m so close.” 
It’s quicker. Way quicker than your first tiny orgasm. He slips in and out of you so smoothly—you’re obsessed with the sight, ravaged by it entirely. You grind your hips and fuck yourself back, picking up the pace but slowing down instantly when you feel yourself at the peak of your climax.
You want to prolong it. You love the feeling too much to end it too soon.
Jungkook stops your movements fully.
“I want to be the one who makes you come,” he murmurs. “I want to be the one who fucks your brain out. I want to feel you squeeze around my fingers. Fuck, I want it so bad.” 
His hand drifts to your neck just to hold you there, the other, the busy one, fingers you harder, your fast approaching orgasm blinding your senses. Your drenched cunt squelches around him, the sound so lewd it causes you to seek comfort—your hand flies to his on your throat, fingers wrapping around his wrist, the tip of your pointer reaching the fat bulb of bunny’s head on his ring. 
Harder and faster. A scalding fire burns you and you just take it. Loll your head back against his shoulder, giving him the space to grip your jawline. Flames grow closer and closer, leaving a layer of sheen on your body in its wake. You feel the sudden need to pee.
“Oh my god, Gguk—” Your muscles tense. Close, so close. “Gguk, Gguk—”
“What, baby? What’s the matter?” he husks, squeezing your neck once. “You’re gonna come for me? Gonna come on my fingers?” 
You nod quickly, too quickly. Flames of the sun, licking you. Flames of the summer heat. Just what you wanted. 
Jungkook opens your jaw, swirling his tongue around yours. “Let go. Come for me. You can do it, I got you—I got you. Come for me, baby, please.”
Obeying his desperate order, you do.
A small stream of your pleasure, a faint fountain, trickles out of you and into his hand. He gasps, in unison with your whimpers, and you’re transmitted elsewhere. The wildly colorful, blooming meadow on a hill, overlooking the languorous sea and he’s there. Reaches behind himself. Offers you his hand. The wind ruffles his black hair, sweeps it back and you’re giddy—as giddy as Bam, as giddy as you were in the moment the slid the white bunny ring on your finger—to take the last two of his slender fingers, the pinky and the ring, and sit with him by the edge of the cliff. 
“Did so well for me.” 
The whisper takes you back and you awake. 
You’re different. Incandescent. Of life, of stars and its light, of growing fondness for the man you sit perched on the lap of, whose fingers still remain sheathed inside of you. He changed you. Perpetually, absolutely. He changed you and made you into something new. Something that is softer, more elegant—smaller but assertive. Alluring and kind. Indisputably good. 
He fucked everything negative out of you with his fingers. Left the vast canvas of stars inside of you.
You’re no longer a plain spread of cotton, but a living, breathing artwork. His artwork.
Once he fucks you with his cock, you wonder what further internal changes are going to occur within you.
You feel a great deal of gratitude for him—and you want to reciprocate all that he’s done for you. You want to work hard at it. Spoil him. Make him whimper. You believe he deserves it.   
“You finger yourself often? How come you took my fingers so well, hm?” 
You’re panting, unable to speak. Absorbing the sharpness of the stars, acclimatizing to the change. 
“I guess you do, huh?” he deduces. “Good little girl, preparing herself for me.” 
For the life of you, you can’t catch your breath.
Jungkook kisses your cheek deeply. Pecks you on the same spot a hundred times, slowly taking out his fingers. Lets you see your slick coating his fingers and, softly, you gasp at the little ripples of wrinkles upon the tips of his fingers, mouth parting.
And then he sinks them into your mouth. 
His hardness twitches behind you and you moan, your daintily bittersweet taste making your head spin. And when you look at him, you’re met with the utmost pink-dusted adoration painted on his face. You kiss it, inhaling it, letting it flow into your system so it suffuses your bloodstream, letting him taste you. You may not feel your lips, but the sentient poetry of the stars begins to sing in you. His stars. You feel like a flushed floweret visited by a bee. Spent, but happy. 
Happy to be wanted.
Good, because he said you were.
As if internally intertwined with him, you feel the identical heat tinge your cheeks. 
He says nothing as he lays you down and spreads your legs back to the way they were. Though when he’s graced with the sight of your bare cunt in all her glory, his face says everything that his mouth isn’t capable of. Hunger and torture—lips agape, corners of the mouth shiny with the rush of drool and Jungkook wipes it away, then lowers his fingers to your clit, to your lips, becoming more acquainted with this intimate part of you that no one had seen before him. He traces your small hole, even going as far as to your other, tinier hole and you yelp, stopping his exploration. 
Jungkook merely chuckles, eyes darting to yours. “You’re so pretty.” You grow so hot that you think you must be on fire. “Especially there.” 
You mewl, shrinking, hands looking for anything to hold and finding his bunny plushie. You take her into your arms, inhaling a scent that could never be hers. You recognize immediately whose it is. 
Musk, vanilla, wood. 
The thought of Jungkook cradling her while he sleeps moves you and you pout. 
“How we feeling?” he asks, still caressing your fleshy cunt, dripping with dew. 
Overjoyed. Overstimulated.
Heavenly.
“Good.” 
A foxy smile. “How many orgasms was that, hm?” 
You don’t know where your shyness comes from and why it chokes all of the words you want to say. You bury your face in bunny for a moment, taking a breath to fight against it, so you can please him because that’s all you yearn to do. 
You open your mouth, but no words come out. 
Jungkook stifles a laugh and it makes you feel terrible. And it’s worse when he leans over to kiss you, turns his head at the last moment and faces bunny.
“Bunny, how many times did she come?” he asks her, offering her his ear to hear her answer. Looks at you. Widens his eyes. Gasps. “Two,” he mouths. Listens some more. Nods. “I know she thought she wouldn’t come at all. Crazy, right?” Then he lets out an endearing sound. “She said she’d believed you could do it the moment you said it. She’s so happy for you. How cute,” he coos. 
You giggle, the bridge in your throat loosening, light flooding you, over and over, until you think you can’t take any more of it. You feel so full, so happy and the sensation threatens to pour out of your tear ducts. 
It heals something within you—that he treats you like this at your most vulnerable state. Your inner child flares, the stars the strength that fixes her stoop, helping her arise, stand straight, stand powerfully. 
He smiles down fondly at you. “So what number are we at?” 
You hide your face behind your hands. “Two.” 
“What did you say? I didn’t catch that.” 
You drop your hands and with as much energy as you can muster, you repeat the number. 
He purrs, caressing your cheek. “Good girl.” As a reward, as if the praise wasn’t enough, he kisses you deeply. “Will you let me taste you?” 
You swallow his desire, but speak up your own, “I want to taste you first, please.” 
Jungkook hums, curses under his breath. He straightens and kneels before your form, fingers pinching the back of his T-shirt and pulling it over his body. You catch the sight of his broad shoulders, of each dip and muscle, and your irises grown in width. Him ridding himself of his clothes dishevels his hair and as he untangles his arms from the material, he smiles down at you, noticing your stare. 
He caresses the back of your thigh before his hand flies to his hard length. He palms himself once, then continues to undress—tugs his sweatpants down to his knees, though he doesn’t bother himself to fully take them off. The shape of him is more prominent through the fabric of his white Calvins, the bulge of his mushroom wet and pellucid, and you sit up, hand itching to touch him, to join his in making him feel good, but he cups your chin—forcing you to look up at him. 
He swipes his thumb over your lips. “You want it?” 
You nod. “So bad.” 
Jungkook curses again, the sound low and rough. 
“Touch it,” he orders and both of your hands listen, wrapping around his girth, squeezing beneath the head of his cock. The thickness of him makes you see the light of the stars that you sense fluttering feverishly inside of you. Your mind is too empty, too washed out by your orgasm, by the change that you don’t even think about how you’re going to take him. Jungkook hisses, tilting his head back before he looks down at you intently. “You did this before?” 
You’ve never seen one in real life before, let alone touched one.
“I’ve never let anyone get this close.” 
Jungkook strokes your pigtails. “How come you know what to do then?” 
Instinct or memory from porn you watched—you don’t know, it all blends together within the fuzziness of your mind. And you tell him.
“I watch a lot of porn.” 
Jungkook smiles coyly and it strikes you. You’ve never seen him smile this way before or, even, feel this way before. All you know from him is dominance, dominance and dominance. 
You release him from the confines of his boxers and repress your gasp. His ever glistening tip reaches just below his navel and the thickness of his girth obscures most of his pubic hair. Along with the sound of your surprise, you also have a hard time swallowing the saliva collecting in your mouth. 
“I want you so bad,” you whisper, needy eyes looking up at him. Shy, too shy to let your gaze linger at the most intimate part of him. 
He sucks in a breath at your words, hissing. And you need him inside of you all over again. 
Fuck fuzzines in your mind. You’re fuzzy all over. Wrecked with nerves, suddenly. Your hands tremble, hovering in front of his manhood. Jungkook covers them with his, soothing you, and guides you to his shaft. Wraps your fingers around him. Doesn’t let go. 
The feel of him under his supervision is slow. He allows you to take in every ridge of him, every vein—the softness of his skin, the warmth and the weight. Round after round, up and down, until you get familiarized with him. A trickle of his male essence drips down the side of him and your tongue instinctively darts out. Like your hands, Jungkook’s breath shakes and he anticipates your next move, despite the fact he’s in charge. 
He’s been patient all this time, giving you the time you needed. But that hardly applies when you have him in your hands, when you own his neediness. His whimpers while he waits coax your slick out of you, soaking the bedding beneath you and you can’t take it anymore. 
Neither, evidently, can he. 
“Baby, please,” Jungkook croaks out. Tortured, so terribly tortured. Grip tight and clammy around your hands. 
So vulnerable. 
You ache. 
You lick up a stripe of his essence on the side of his cock and Jungkook shudders. Shifting onto your knees, you show him the milkie on the tip of your tongue and Jungkook pulls your hair, tilting your head back. Kisses you nastily, licking into your mouth. Moans, lowly. Then, he holds his girth at the base and pushes your head. 
When you take him, a mewl ripples around the thickness of him. His eyes roll back and his grasp of your hair tightens, burning your scalp, adding to the fire. He lets you feel it out; lets you figure out what to do, testing your knowledge from the porn you’ve watched. And the tensing of his stomach divulges his strained effort not to fuck your mouth. 
You go slow about it. Swirling your tongue around that rosy head of his, along that delicious ridge, licking a flat stripe across that line of his slit. Getting to know him in all those intimate places, relying on your senses—on them to tell you what he likes. Your hand begins to move on its own, gliding back and forth in tandem with your tongue stimulating his sensitivity. You try not to think about how you can barely fit him in your mouth, because if you do—you’ll ruin his bedsheets. 
But then Jungkook hums in approval, sending a gush of wetness out of you and you whimper—you whimper at the worsening ache you feel, at the helplessness that pools in your system by being just so filthily wet and horny. 
He moves your hand faster. Breath jagged, bedroom eyes zeroing down on you. And then—
Jungkook moans your name. Over and over, clenching and unclenching his hand on the back of your head. 
“Don’t have to teach you shit,” he spits. “You just watch porn all day, don’t you? Naughty girl.” 
Losing control for a split second, he rams his cock into your throat—and you don’t panic, you don’t yelp. Instead, you groan. 
He pulls you away from him with a sharp tug. Kisses you harshly. Shoves you down into the pillows with one push on your sternum.
Bending you in half, he drinks your cunt. Lips immediately suck on your needy bundle of nerves and it’s so fast you don’t even know which part of you he’s focusing on because he’s everywhere. Clit, hole, clit, hole—sucking, licking. Alternating, alternating so swiftly and deliciously that you completely lose your mind. 
And then he lifts your hips and holds them in the air, wanting you to see what he’s doing to you. Like you, he darts out his tongue and teases you, hovering the muscle above your clit. Shiny, nimble, capable of doing unspeakable things to you. He watches as your pussy drools for him and he chuckles darkly. Tongue lowering to collect it, but unlike you he never does it. He lets the dew trickle down your skin. 
“Cute little pussy. So wet. Wetter than when I fucked it. You liked playing with me on your knees, didn’t you?” 
With your fucked out brain, you don’t think it’s taunting what he’s doing. You deem it’s just him reveling in what he’s able to do to your body—in the fact that he owns it, that he teaches it new things. The glint in his dusky, lustful eyes proves it. 
Jungkook drags a long stripe on your clit, making your eyes flutter closed and your teeth to sink into your bottom lip to cage in your moans. 
“Talk to me.” 
You can’t. You don’t know how to talk. 
He stares you down. 
No answer from you. Just hard pants. Pussy drooling. 
“I won’t play with you, then.” 
Panic. “No.” 
He cocks a brow at you. “No?” 
Silence. 
He begins to lower you down but you grip his forearm. 
“Jungkook.” 
Bent over above you, head low, he merely flicks his eyes to yours. Duskiness, such blackening duskiness in those orbs. 
“Beg.” 
All your muscles tense. Wetness gushes out of you. 
Lucky for you, that word he wants is the one you haven’t forgotten. 
“Please.” 
“Please what?” 
You groan in frustration. 
“Be nice or—”
“Please, lick me.” 
That dark chuckle. You feel yourself becoming obsessed with it. 
“Where?” 
A challenge. Your throat dries up. 
“There.” 
He shakes his head disapprovingly, making a sound that expresses just how much he didn’t like that. 
“Try again. Last chance, little girl.” 
The loving smile on his face says everything about how that threat is feigned. You hear it tell you—you have as many chances as you need. He’s merely encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone. 
And something about that mellow, hidden kindness gently ushers you to do just that. 
“Lick my clit, please.” 
A hum. A long stripe on that sensitive, thumping spot. A roll of his tongue forward and backward.  
“Like this?” 
You choke out a moan. 
“Yes, please.” 
“Or—” He blows on you, causing you to tremble. “Like this?”
He shakes his head against you briskly, not yet at a full tilt. Just like his, your body shudders in his hands and he tightens his grip on your supple hips. You can’t take it, the pleasure is overwhelming and—
“Look at me,” he orders and you open your eyes, immediately. “Like this?” 
Jungkook adds more pressure and rapidness to the movement, leaving you glazed sweetly in the sheen of his saliva. He moves your hips up and down on the firmness of his tongue and you scream, taking a strong hold of his hair.
“Oh my god, yes, fuck, Daddy—”
Shocked, Jungkook groans against your pussy, slowing down to ingest what your mouth has just uttered. It’s more than natural to call him by a title like this, instinctual, innate. It fits him so well and it drenches your pussy, your slick amalgamating with his liquid love. You’re certain he feels the rush.
Your Daddy. 
You roll your hips against his tongue. Dark and more dark, those eyes of his. Bottomless pit.
“Fuck yes, call me Daddy again.” 
The whimpers you let out are pathetic and Jungkook shudders at them, groaning. You whine the title over and over again, a verdant, dreamlike litany of your feminine sexuality pampered, cared for, supervised. Jungkook accepts the gravity of it all, each declaration propelling him to suck your clit harder, bruises forming on your hips from his deathly grip, black eyes never leaving yours, hypnotizing you. 
And when you come like this, it’s unification what happens. 
You’re bound to him and he’s bound to you. 
Daddy and little girl. 
Throughout your sexual experience today, you had a hard time accepting things but this—this is something that slept inside of you all your life and just now has been awoken to a flickering canvas of bright stars. You feel it blink, adjust to the piercing light, before it smiles dolefully—happy to be conscious, happy to be caressed.
Jungkook kisses you and takes his time. The taste of your femininity, the fresh coldness of your change, the strong wine of his desire. You’re drunk. You’re slurring your mewls. 
And one thing about unification, it’s a mirror. 
You swallow down the same mewls, uttered by his throat. 
“Daddy’s gonna give it to you,” he whispers, adjusting between your legs. “Will be gentle. You’re safe with me.” 
He rakes the tip of his length along the entirety of your little sea-kissed seashell. 
“You want it? You want Daddy’s cock inside of you?” 
Jungkook looks into your eyes deeply as he asks you that question, the tip ready at your significantly smaller hole. He peppers kisses along your jawline and chin. 
“I’m scared it’ll hurt,” you murmur, brows furrowed. 
He kisses your cheek, the corner of your mouth. 
“We’ll chase the pain away,” he promises.
Your frown deepens. 
“But what if it doesn’t fit?” 
You expect him to chuckle, but he does no such thing. He absorbs your worry by kissing you tenderly. Then he glances at your body. Remembers he never took off your bra and fixes his mistake. 
“You may be small, but you were made to take me,” he says and your heart skips a beat; you wonder if he understands the gravity of his words as they take roots within you, rising to bloom into splendid flowers. “Besides, my dick is tiny. You won’t even feel it.” 
It is so far from the truth that you burst into giggles. He laughs along with you—a mirror reflected. 
Stars and flowers. Sea and freshness. You were made to take him. You trust him. 
He kisses your breasts, licking over your nipple—but briefly. Holding his shaft, he asks if you’re ready. You nod, your fingers desperately searching for his and Jungkook notices. Sinking slowly inside of you, he grabs his bunny plushie and tucks her into the crook of your elbow. 
There’s a pinch of pain, blended with the feeling of discomfort as your walls stretch around his head. 
Seeing it painted on your face, Jungkook draws close, enveloping you and bunny in his heat. Pushes a little more in. You wail softly, the pain intensifying. Fear intermingles with your features and Jungkook—the worry in his countenance makes you almost weep.
“Hold onto me,” he says, brows scrunched, so—so serious. “Relax, baby. I got you.”
You hook your arms around his neck, bunny sandwiched between your chest and his. Jungkook saves this time to let you adjust around him. 
“I know it hurts,” he whispers onto your mouth, index finger, the ringed one, stretching to graze your cheek. “Just relax your muscles for me. It’ll feel good soon.” 
You nod, trusting him. 
He pecks you. Smiles. 
“How many orgasms are we at?” 
You roll your eyes, your own smile threatening your lips. “Three.”
Jungkook hums. Pecks you again. You feel your walls loosening, little by little.
A smug smirk. “You didn’t expect that, did you?” 
“You obliterated my expectations.” 
“Just wait until I fuck you properly.” 
You blush, eyes twinkling. 
“Pretty girl.” He kisses you and you feel your attachment forming again, though this time—newly. As light, as free as an entanglement of seaweed upon seashore, you and him. Connected. Bound. No fear, not even a hint of it. “I heard you watch porn.” 
Your flush deepens. Jungkook sinks a little deeper. A faint pain—nothing bad. 
“Who told you?” You laugh, the sound ridding you of your shyness. 
But Jungkook grows solemn.
“Tell me what kind you watch,” he whispers, angling his head to give you a tiny kiss. 
Your cheeks hurt from the smiling, from the onrush of emotions within you, sloshing to and fro. You feel hot all over.
“The one where all the focus is on the girl,” you whisper back. “The guy uses all kinds of toys on her and she just takes it. Comes so many times and there’s a countdown for it.”
Humming, he begins to nibble on the skin beneath your jaw, making your breath shallow. He pushes in another inch—and the pain is worse. You tighten your grip around him.
“And how many times do you come when you watch it?” Deep, deep is his voice, the calmness to your nerves due to the pricking you feel. 
“I don’t stop coming.” 
Jungkook swears under his breath and clenches his digits into a fist beside your head.
“And you finger yourself?” 
You nod, confidently. Another inch. He smiles at your confirmation of his deduction.
“How many fingers?” 
You scoff. “Just one.” 
“Well done,” he praises, kissing you once, keeping his mouth on you even as he asks, “ready?” 
You nod, again, even though there’s fright to your eyes. He sees it and he brushes his eyelashes against your eyelids while he kisses you, taking it all away. And he doesn’t stop, even as he pulls out and thrusts back into your heat. Gently, so awfully gently. 
He didn’t break his promise. 
Jungkook rocks his hips in slow, sensual, prolonged staccatos, moaning into your parted mouth. You’re so focused on him—on the bulging of his muscles on the either side of your head, the broadness of his shoulders, the slick sweat dripping down his neck, right from the top of his tattoo; on the sheerness of his pleasure as he moves in and out, carefully so as to not frighten you, that the pain quickly subsides. 
And there you feel it. 
The sensation unlike any other. 
He rams into you, seeing the wrinkle between your brows smoothing, the lust clouding your eyes as the delight spreads all over your body, bringing along little dots of goosebumps. The night sea, windless, still hot from the afternoon’s goodbye kiss. You feel it—and you feel it deeply, sinking inside of you with every inch of his manhood. So much that you meet his thrusts. 
“That’s it, baby. Fuck yes,” Jungkook murmurs, enraging the waves within. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Being fucked?” 
Stars and its light. He picks up the pace, hooking your leg over his shoulder, entering you deeper and deeper, giving you more than half. The thrill of feeling so full—you curse, you moan, you can’t hold it in, even if you tried. And Jungkook coos at your conveyance of the pleasure he’s giving you, never lifting his eyes off of yours, off of your features, your emotions. Surveying you, controlling you, making sure you’re okay—more than okay.
You sense the pressure coil deep within your core, the sense of your climax approaching and you’re astonished at how quick it is. You halt your own movements, needing—wanting him to be the one to get you there, the one who owns your orgasms. 
“Gguk, Gguk, fuck—”
“I know,” he breathes. “I’m gonna make you come all over my cock.” 
He fucks you harder, making you cry out. Deep, deep staccatos, so different from the slow, languid ones. You can’t catch your breath, the sea within you sloshes violently and then—
Softly, you sprinkle him with your fountain of pleasure. Not enough to drive him out, but sweetly enough to force him to groan against you and pound you harder into the mattress. Continuing as if you hadn’t come. 
You don’t have the time or the space to think about what just happened—he fucks each and every thought of you. 
“My little squirter,” Jungkook mutters, kissing you. “One more, baby. One more for me and I’ll paint you with my cummie. Hm, you want that?” You’re gone, flung out of this world into a tranquil island. The palm trees, the sea and his cock. Your emotions are numb, body limp. All you feel is his cock, ramming and ramming into you. “Or you wanna swallow it for me like a good girl?” 
“Swallow, please,” you croak out and Jungkook makes a sound of approval. Rewards you by giving you the full thing, filling you balls-deep. 
“You feel me?” He kisses you, tugging your bottom lip with his teeth. 
Glorious, glorious delight. You can’t breathe. Too much. 
“I feel you—” You lift your head to look down where you’re connected. “I—I feel you in my stomach.” 
Sitting back, he lifts your hips and palms the bulge just a little bit above your mound. Feels it move under him once he resumes fucking you. He replaces his hand with yours, keeping you distracted as he undoes the ribbon in your hair and ties your wrists with it. Right there above the bulge, where he fucks you. Then he latches onto your hips and jackhammers his cock into you, watching as your tits along with bunny bounce with each slam. 
“You look so pretty like this, tied up for me, taking all that I’m giving you,” he says, thumbing your clit, making you cry out. “Such a good fucking girl for me. I’m bringing you up so well.” 
“Daddy,” you call out and Jungkook nods.
“Yes, that’s right. Daddy is fucking you so good.” 
White flashes. Seafoam. The pressure in your tummy deepening and deepening. The roar of the night sea and your body following—you come all over him, painting him iridescent with your dewiness. His joggers, dragged halfway down his thighs, his boxers are all ruined—pelvis, thighs and cock glistening. It’s such a beautiful image to you that it suffuses you with energy and you begin to speak. 
“Please, come for me.” 
Surprised, Jungkook chuckles. “Don’t you have orgasms to count down?” 
The ever persistent need for control. You kiss him, slip your tongue into his mouth to shut him up and you struggle against your ribbon, for the feeling of kissing him without your hands makes you feel iffy.
“Five. I came five times for you just like you wanted,” you whisper. “You fucked me so good. I’ll never forget it.” 
And it’s the truth.
Jungkook pecks you once deeply, humming into the kiss. He pulls out of you and whilst he strokes his cock, his fingers tug down the ribbon around your wrists. You take your place on your knees, gazing with awe and hunger at his shiny length. And as if he needed it, he plunges his fingers into your mouth for more lubrication. Then, grabbing your jawline gently, he pulls you in towards his cock, letting your lips play with his tip the way you like it as he jerks himself off. You flick your tongue under the ridge of his head and his length twitches, stunning you. You do it again, more rapidly, and you don’t stop until Jungkook begins to tremble. Pulling him inside your mouth, then out, flicking faster and faster. Repeat. 
Jungkook grunts. 
“Yes, like that, princess. Fuck, I’m gonna come for you.” 
He announces it, but it still comes as a surprise when the first rope of hot cum spills onto your flushed cheek. You suck him harder for a moment before you stick out your tongue, eyes flick up, as he empties his balls for you, his hand never ceasing the swift tug on his length. 
And he just keeps coming. Rope after rope. Liquid star after star.
And you swallow it all. 
Spent, sweaty and breathless, he helps you swallow it. Dragging his fingers to the places your tongue can’t reach, he feeds you his cum and you suck on his digits. Your heart thuds in your ribcage, especially when he begins to play with your tongue, smiling down at you in that dopey way. 
He pats you on the cheek once you show him you’ve swallowed it all. 
“Good girl. Good little princess.” 
That you are. A changed person for all eternity.
“Is your tummy full?” 
You nod, beaming vehemently up at him, the aftertaste of the bitterness of his liquid stars still wafting through your senses.
The three forbidden words rise in your tongue, even though you don’t believe them—you think it’s just the opulence of new emotions and experience that forces those words on your tongue. But they remain adamant when he bathes you clean, when he brushes your hair and gives you his clothes to wear to bed. They provoke you right there on the tip of your tongue when he gives you his zipper hoodie to wear on his balcony once you tell him you need a smoke and he joins you, giving you his pack of cigarettes. 
And they come off the edge, in a different form, when you tell him of how he changed you while you hold his hand and he caresses your damp strands with a cigarette propped between his index and middle fingers, kissing your cheek. The smoke fixes a makeshift halo around both of your heads. One body, one halo. Bound.
“You’re such a lovable person, Gguk.”
What you don’t know is that those mere words changed the entire trajectory of his life. Yours, too.
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serotonins-stuff · 5 days
Text
As a boy Katsuki never understood why men cried whenever they saw their bride for the first time.
When it came to his turn to stand at the altar, suited up and slicked back hair,he finally understood why.
His heart is pounding violently against his ribcage, so loud that he can hear it reverberate through his head. His palms were damp, and his gaze stays fixated on the double doers before him. The doors that will soon open to reaveal tge love of his life.
His foot meets floor repeatedly in a tapping motion, and his hands are rough as he shifts his collar side to side. His body litters with goosebumps and involuntary quivers.
He's suddenly grateful for this being a small wedding with only close family and friends. Hewouldn't want a large crowd witnessing his nerves get the better of him.
Kirishima smiles though the tears flowing down his face. He's honored to be the best man on his best friends big day, because that means he gets to see the tough Katsuki find pure happiness and put his walls down for the one he loves. If it's loveenough to make the great lord explosion murdered god dynamitenervous, then it's love that should be cherished.
Katsukis stomach flutters when the pianist begins to play your song. It's time.
He fiddles with the cuffs of his blazer and submerges the urge to run his hand through his perfectly styled hair.
When he locks eyes with you for the first time that day. It feels as if time itself slowed down. In this moment, every ounce of anxiety he had been carrying fades away. You are radiant under the soft orange glow of the sun, your skin shimmering like a precious diamond. His precious diamond.
His heart dances swiftly in his ribcage, touching every nerve in his body with pure love.
He catches a glimpse of your hands nervously fiddling your dress by your sides and remembers that he isn't alone. You, the love of his life, are sharing the same nervous flutter of butterflies in your stomach.
He begins to see you more clearly as you approach him. The soft glow of your eyes, your perfect lips and curves.
And when he hears his name flow so sweetly from your lips he can't help it. He chokes out a sob, and immediately your hands reach up to gently swipe away his tears.
The audience give a numerous amount of awww's, which cause a smile to tug its way onto his lips.
His glossy eyes stared longingly into yours. "You look beautiful" he whispered.
Saying his vows was the hardest part. He just couldn't stop crying, and the tears wouldn't stop flowing. You there assuring him and giving him gestures of love. When you started to say your own vows, seeing his redened nose and tear stained face cause tears of your own to flow down your face.
With a gentle yet firm grip his palm finds comfort on the curve of your waist. The minute the officient said you may kiss the bride. Your arms evelop his the soft skin of his neck and your heads tilt to the side as if it's instinct.
This kiss hold a firm yet sweet connection, a silent promise that this love would endure for eternity.
He was finally married to you, his angel, the girl of his dreams. He looked forward to calling you his wife, to starting a family-
Hot tears stream uncontrollably down his face, an eruption of raw emotion he can't contain. His heart swells with overwhelming swarm of love, joy, and deep appreciation, a feeling he once never believed possible.
With a shaky breath, he pulls away softly before resting his forehead on yours. "I love you" he choked "so fuckin much"
You huffed at his cuteness "I love you more Katsuki"
He places one more kiss to your lips, and nuzzles your nose with his.
"Impossible"
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yawnderu · 3 months
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Simon’s gut clenched, the pure heartbreak in your eyes lashing at his heart like whips. He choked back tears, swallowing the thick lump in his throat to keep himself from falling at your feet and begging to be forgiven. Deep inside, he knows it’s selfish to keep you with him. 
“‘M sorry.” His first confession is nearly muted by the traumatized, war-hardened soldier deep within his soul. 
“I’m so sorry. I asked for the leave, but bloody Makarov just…” He pauses, realizing that no matter how many excuses he comes up with, his mistake will never be forgiven. It doesn’t deserve any forgiveness, and that’s something he’s fully aware of, gnawing at his conscience from within. 
“I love you. I love both of you. I promise— no, I swear, that I won’t ever leave.” His gaze drifts down to the newborn baby in your arms. A tiny sweet girl, her big brown eyes looking at him with so much curiosity and love. For a second, it takes every ounce of strength for him not to reach out and hold her. 
Simon clenches his fists tightly, as if holding back the tide of emotions surging within him. The last thing he wanted was to be like his father— an absent bloody cunt, yet it seems like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree no matter how much he tries.
The sight of the tears rolling down your cheeks feels like daggers straight to his soul, and yet a part of him thinks he’s not allowed to feel pain. Not when he let you be alone and scared in the delivery room, surrounded by nurses sporting expressions of pure pity for you. A first-time mother who kept insisting her husband was going to show up this one time. 
“I was so scared, Simon.” The first words you’ve told him the entire night hurt more than any bullet he’s ever taken. 
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.” He swallows the thick lump in his throat, hesitantly reaching out to brush the tears from your cheeks, his hands shaky. His dark eyes fix on your face, soaking you in, wanting to remember even the smallest detail. As exhausted as you are, you’re still the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on. 
“Let me make it right. I promise I’ll do everything to make up for it.” A grim part of his soul knows that this is just one of the many cracks in your marriage that will never be repaired. Still, the sincerity in his voice echoes in the room as he leans forward, pressing your foreheads together. 
“I can’t imagine how you felt, baby. How scared you must’ve been…” He whispers, his chest constricting. His gaze drifts down to your beautiful girl, tears brimming his eyes the moment her tiny hand reaches out to hold one of the straps from his gear. 
“I’m here now. I’ll never leave, I promise.” If finally hanging it up is what it takes to amend your marriage, he’ll do it. A small smile pulls at the corners of his lips, picturing being able to see his little girl grow up with the chances he never had, and despite knowing that he deserves the rawness of the moment, Simon makes it a life goal to be with you at all times. To fix everything he once broke.
From the ex-husband Simon series.
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astro-enthusiast · 9 months
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moon signs and what you learned from your mother (raw & uncut)
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I’m not a professional astrologer, just an enthusiast. These are possible manifestations of attributes your mother taught you based on your moon sign.
WARNING: this is clear cut, no BS, straight to the point. There’s pros and cons for every moon sign. There’s no way around it.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PLAGIARIZE MY WORK.
Aries Moon: your mother taught you how to fight, how to be resilient, how to depend on yourself and no one else. Your mother probably led with masculine energy. There’s an added layer of aggression in your relationship. She taught you how to be “tough.” You were likely raised by one parent for some reason (I’ve seen this be caused by the death of a parent at a young age or a parent who chooses not to be around due to strained rxship).
Taurus Moon: your mother taught you how to chill. Hard. You probably wanted for nothing. Money, security, stability- you had it all. You know how to eat, sleep, wake up, and do it all again. Maybe your home was uneventful growing up. You know how to make money and spend it just as well. Your mother likely didn’t do much that’s worth noting. She taught you how to work and chill out. This is a very narrow manifestation of this sign.
Gemini Moon: your mother taught you how to blend in to any crowd. You two probably gossiped together. Your mother may have provided the ultimate “How to Be Well Perceived” guide for you. How to hold a conversation with anyone. How to intellectualize emotions rather than actually feeling them. You can think or talk your way out of any situation, which may be a double edged sword as this can and will get you into trouble.
Cancer Moon: your mother taught you how to play the victim. How to become overly sensitized to other people’s emotions and the slightest change in their energies. How to be in touch with your own inner world; how to manipulate or be manipulated. You likely played a motherly role in life, but this is affected by house placements and aspects. Ex. A cancer moon in the 10th house may show their more nurturing side in public, but not so much at home.
Leo Moon: your mother taught you how to be flamboyant; how to prioritize yourself and your own emotions over others; how to lighten up the mood- likely to avoid dealing with heavier subjects. How to be the ✨golden child✨. But also, you as the child might have to step aside so your mom can have the true spotlight. At the end of the day, she comes first in her mind.
Virgo Moon: your mother taught you how to be “helpful,” likely to your own detriment. How to shut your mouth and sacrifice yourself and your well being for your family. How to be an adult from a very young age; you probably didn’t have a childhood. I’ve seen wayyy too many people with this placement parenting their own parents and other peoples kids while they themselves are literal children. Did you raise your mother or did your mother raise you? Your mother likely has no concept of your personal boundaries. If you place any, she’s surprised by the utter audacity. Also (trigger warning: violence) many Virgo moons mother’s are physically abusive. Does your mom randomly slap you when she’s mad? Just know you’re more than a maid or a punching bag. You are a person. I could write a whole book on this placement just based on the pure chaos of it. I’m so sorry. I love you.
Libra Moon: your mother taught you how to keep up with your appearances; that looks and what people think is far more important than any feeling you may experience. She taught you how to be well-liked and how to create a fake personality to keep others comfortable. If you’re feeling sad, you probably just need a new outfit or lipgloss to add an attempted cover to the crap that’s lurking in your subconscious mind.
Scorpio Moon: God help us all. Your mother taught you how to be afraid. Literally. Your baseline is likely fear which is learned directly from the mother. Your mother taught you how to manipulate as you see fit, which of course includes manipulating her as well. This likely goes both ways. You were taught to be emotionally in tune with your mother, with no boundaries or consideration for how you as an individual feel. Trust issues beyond comprehension. But you can’t help it, it’s literally in your blood. Also, love is not possession and control. You need to let that belief go, babe.
Sagittarius Moon: your mother taught you how to ignore anything that isn’t sunshine and rainbows, shut up, and keep it to pushing. Emotions were not a thing in your home. You’d be crazy to feel anything but joy. If you do, you’re considered ungrateful. Your mother was likely distant for some reason. Even if physically present, there was no emotional connection. But hey, at least she taught you new languages and exposed you to different cultures, right?
Capricorn Moon: (signs, “Santa Maria”). No, I am not here as another random person on Tumblr who thinks they know Capricorn moons. I’m here as someone who actually knows Capricorn moons. Your mother taught you how to put on a brave face, work until you can taste your own blood, and don’t stop for even a moment to think of what’s lurking under the surface. If you work really hard, you won’t even have a chance to notice all the baggage you’re carrying around! Anddd you’ll have piles of money to dry any tears that threaten to escape. You probably cry in your closet for complete and total privacy. Or not, maybe that’s just me. You’re taught to be the backbone of the family. Everything would probably collapse without you. But hey, no pressure, right?
Aquarius Moon: your mother taught you how to detach from any and all emotions. Do you even feel what you’re feeling? Or are your emotions solely for research purposes? Asking for a friend. You likely live away from your mother. She may even be on a completely different continent. Your mother is likely your friend at best, and a complete stranger at worst. Your friends are your family. You likely felt the need to escape your family from a young age. Maybe you were even embarrassed of how “weird” your family was. But alas, we can always make our own families out of friends. 💜
Pisces Moon: your mother taught you how to be the victim. Honestly, this might go for all water moons. Just apply that to this whole element. Your relationship with your mother may have been an emotional rollercoaster. Do you ever get off to take breaks? Perhaps your mother took on a more Neptunian approach to your relationship and she’s so emotionally distant you couldn’t catch her if you tried. How’s your sleep schedule? Maybe you sleep to avoid the feelings that are just too hard to deal with. Subliminal meditations are your friend.
I had a blast writing this. Let me know what you think!
RIGHTS RESERVED TO MY BLOG astro-enthusiast . DO NOT COPY, REWRITE, OR PLAGIARIZE MY WORK. DO NOT REPOST MY WORK WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
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helen-with-an-a · 3 months
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I Am An Adult pt 7
Hiiiii. I hope you enjoyed part 6. As I mentioned, this was originally one long-ass story, so please imagine you're reading it as a continuation if that makes sense. Once again, a massive shout out to @lyak12 for helping me out so much and hyping me up - forehead smooches for you. I think technically the final part of the official series, but I do have an epilogue idea that I want to write too, so it's not quite the end of the story (again inspired by @lyak12). This was tough to write emotionally, so just a little heads up.
I just want to say thank you so much for the love and support you guys have given me. It means a lot. Please let me know what you thought of it <3
Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 3.5 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Epilogue
Barça Femeni x Reader / Lena Oberdorf x Reader
Description: R faces the consequences of her actions
TW: This was emotional to write, so it might be a little emotional to read.
Word Count: 6k
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The next few days were … interesting. It was clear to everyone that you and Alexia had spoken in some capacity. You were still avoiding conversation with most people, but the hostility between you and the captain had eased somewhat. You still partnered with the trainers and remained silent during breaks, but the ice was clearly thawing. It made people approach you more. Not outright, but you weren’t blocked from conversations. The side eyes and cold shoulders were no longer a signature part of training. The olive branches were slowly being offered out; a small praising smile or a water bottle passed your way. No one was brave enough to be your partner just yet, but that was fine. The only ones that weren’t fine were Lucy … and, by extension, Ona. You longed to talk to your best friend … if you were still allowed to call her that. But she remained solidly by Lucy’s side. You couldn’t blame her, though. You had made your bed, and now you had to lie in it.
It all came to a head during the final training session before you travelled to Zaragoza for the Cope de la Reina final. Jona had instructed everyone to work hard but to be aware of their own limits. Everyone had nodded solemnly; the last thing anyone wanted was an injury before a big match like that. Well … everyone, bar Lucy. It didn’t help that you played opposite positions; she was a right back and you a left winger. But so far, Jona had recognised the animosity between you, too, so you had been on the same team to avoid any confrontation … until now, anyway. To his defence, you seemed to both be over it. But, oh, how he was wrong.
Lucy’s anger had shifted from surface-level, emotional, visible rage to that deep, raw, pure wrath. She was aghast at how easily everyone was seemingly forgiving you. To her, you had disappeared on them, leaving chaos and devastation in your wake, returned and with a bat of your eyelids, everyone had forgotten the torment you had caused. Not her, though. Hell would freeze over before she could forget Ona’s heartbreak. Ona’s sobs were frequent in the reoccurring nightmare she had been having the past few days. She was getting little to no sleep, and with that, her ire towards you increased. You were the source of all her issues.
You had become accustomed to Lucy’s hard tackles and unnecessary shoves during training. It was inevitable, even with Jona and the other staff's interference, that you had faced Lucy a little. During rondos, she always managed to step on your feet a little or kick the back of your heel. If you were on the ground at some point during a training session, Lucy’s back was likely the first thing you saw when you looked up. It was starting to get to you a little. But what could you do? You had brought this upon yourself. Your heart sank when Jona called out the names. You were preparing to do a 15-minute 11 vs 11. Jona had pressed the notion that this was a chance to practice the skills and technical formations you had been practising all week. As you stood in your designated place, you inadvertently caught Lucy’s eye. She glowered at you, cracking her knuckles and rolling her shoulders. You were about to die. You knew it. The whistle went, and your team began your press forward. You could see your team's reluctance to pass you the ball; Lucy’s behaviour had not gone unnoticed. But eventually, you had to be included. It happened just outside the makeshift box. You had received a ball from Patri to make a cross for Mariona … or at least that was the plan.
Two sets of sharp studs crashed into your ankle, wiping your feet out from under you. The team watched in horror as you dropped. You landed heavily on your hip before your head hit the floor. You wanted to scream, but you wouldn’t give Lucy that satisfaction. You whacked the grass, biting back the pain. It wasn’t broken. You had snapped your collarbone once when you were still in youth age groups, and this wasn’t like that. But you had a feeling you wouldn’t play in the final. Everyone around you was frozen. Cata and Pina seemed locked in place, half wanting to help but the other, louder half telling them to stay exactly where they were. Marta and Caro looked shocked. Shocked that Lucy would do such a dangerous thing so close to two major finals. Alexia looked a mix of anger and sadness. Anger at Lucy for her behaviour; anger at you for not talking to her about it; sadness that once such good friends seemed to be enemies.
“Lucy. Ya terminaste por hoy. Vete a casa.” Jona’s voice was curt – sounding like the true manager he was. “Todos los demás, tomen un descanso para tomar agua.” No one moved. It was Ona who eventually stepped up.
“Amor, ir a ducharse,” she said softly, like you would to an angry child or wild animal.
“Why? So you can go check on her?” She said it with such contempt and disgust you reeled back, as much as you could, still on the ground anyway.
“I-” Ona began.
“No, I don’t want to hear it.” Lucy stuck her hand up, stopping Ona from talking. “I don’t understand how you can forgive her so easily. What she did was vile. And you’re letting her off the hook like that.” She was shouting now. You couldn’t let Lucy’s anger be misplaced. You couldn’t be the cause of a rift … or potential end … of their relationship. You clambered to your feet, hopping slightly on your uninjured ankle.
“Stop it, Lucy.” Your voice was surprisingly firm. She turned on you. “Don’t shout at Ona when you want to scream at me.”
“You want me to scream at you?” she asked rhetorically. You lifted your gaze to meet hers. “Fine, I’ll scream at you,” she took a deep breath. “What you did was inexcusable. Sure, you got some shitty news. But you don’t get to disappear like that. You are childish and immature. You hurt the people around you, people you are supposed to be your best friends. You can't just run away every time things get tough. Do you think you're the only one with problems? We all have our issues, but we talk to our friends. We don’t leave them behind like they are dirt. What if something had happened to you? Did you even consider how we would feel? No, you didn’t. You were too wrapped up in your own self-pity to think about anyone else. That’s not what friends do. I didn’t sit up every night watching Ona cry herself to sleep because you were missing for everyone to forgive you in an instant. I didn’t watch Cata and Bruna and Jana go crazy driving around Barcelona trying to find you to let everyone forget about what you did. I didn’t watch Alexia phone around hospitals in the area with a description of you to excuse your behaviours as soon as you return. You were selfish and reckless, and you showed us exactly how little we mean to you. We worried ourselves sick, we tore ourselves apart trying to find you, and you didn’t give a damn. Don’t think for a second that you can waltz back into my life and everything will be fine. Actions have consequences, and you need to face yours.” You could tell she had more to say.
You blinked. You felt like you wanted to cry, but no tears were forthcoming. Each accusation struck like a hammer blow, chipping away at your defences. Your heart pounded in your chest, and your stomach churned with a sickening blend of regret and fear. You tried to hold her gaze, but the intensity of her anger made it feel like your very soul was being seared. Her words echoed in your mind, each one a painful reminder of the hurt you had caused. The mention of Ona crying herself to sleep, the frantic search efforts by Cata, Bruna, and Jana, and Alexia's desperate calls to hospitals—all painted a vivid picture of the chaos and suffering you had unleashed. If you hadn’t felt horrific before, you certainly did now. Your throat tightened, and your eyes stung with the threat of tears. You wanted to speak, apologise, and somehow make things right, but you just ... couldn’t. You felt small and insignificant, dwarfed by the level of your mistakes. The raw pain and disappointment in her voice cut through you, leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable.
“Got nothing to say?” She asked, chuckling slightly. “You know what … I’m glad Barça isn’t offering you a renewal. You don’t deserve it.” The words cut like a knife, burnt like fire and stung like a thousand wasp stings.
“Enough, Lucia.” Alexia’s loud voice cut across.
“Whatever” Lucy scoffed turning on her heels and walking back towards the building.
No one moved, no one blinked, no one dared breathe.
“Did anyone else see that vein in her forehead? It was massive!” Vicky asked jovially, the tension breaking in an instant.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Lucy that angry,” Mariona commented during the enforced water break. She had watched as you hobbled off to the medical room. You had refused help from anyone, and it was painful to watch you slowly trudge inside.
“I remember when we were at City and the doctors were telling her how truly fucked her knee was …” Keira reminisced sadly. “I had thought that was the angriest I would ever see her. She punched a wall in the gym; she was lucky she didn’t break her hand.” She shook her head at the memory. “But this … when Lucy sees the people she loves in pain … she’d burn the world down for them.”
“This is her burning the world down?” Patri asked.
“She’s definitely got the lighter ready, that’s for sure.”
“What happened after Lucy punched the wall?” Salma asked carefully. Keira chuckled, laughing at the memory.
“Gee put a frame around it and added a little label like they do in art galleries.” The whole group let out a tense laugh. Of course, Georgia would do that. “Alex says it’s still there too.”
Your initial assessment was right; you were ruled out from playing in the Copa final. You sighed but accepted the physio’s words with little fuss. You winced a little as they strapped it, grimacing at the movements. Lucy’s words echoed around your head, bouncing across your awareness as they played like a video in your mind’s eye. She had looked so angry … her eyes were filled with so much hurt. Hurt that you had caused. Of course, she thought you didn’t deserve a renewal. You didn’t deserve one. That was a fact of which you were sure.
“Tómatelo con calma durante unos días. Lo reevaluaremos después del partido.," the physio advised, giving your shoulder a final pat before standing up. You nodded absentmindedly, your thoughts far from the clinical room. You weren’t too upset about missing out on the final, to be honest. With all the extra … drama, issues, problems … everything, you didn’t think you should be playing anyway. You rolled your shoulders, hoping to ease some of the tension. Everything ached … not physically, although you were sure the extra time you had spent being sent to the floor was helping, but in a soul-weary, deep, painful way. A way that you weren’t quite sure how to fix. A way that you didn’t know if it could be fixed. You are childish and immature. You were childish. You were immature. God, you had spent so long wishing, wanting, demanding the team look at you like an adult, and this is what you do in return. This is how you repay them? Maybe they are better off without you next season. Your mind drifted back to that conversation with Lucy. Her voice, usually so warm and encouraging, had been cold and harsh. You felt a knot tightening in your chest, the weight of the past weeks pressing down hard. You knew she had every right to feel betrayed, to doubt you. The anger in Lucy’s green eyes haunted you. It was a mirror reflecting your own failures, not just as a player but as a person. You replayed every moment in your head, wishing you could go back and change things and make different choices. But you couldn’t. All you could do now was face the consequences.
And Ona, what about her? Your best friend. You tried not to imagine her face. Her warm brown eyes and wide smile were replaced by devastated, tear-filled expressions and anxious looks. God, what had you done? The guilt gnawed at you, a relentless ache that seemed to have no end. You could almost hear Ona’s voice; her playful teasing turned into something sharper, something pained. You had let her down. She had always been there for you, through the highs and lows, and now… now you had pushed her away too. The one time you truly, desperately, urgently needed her to help navigate this … you had disappeared. Like a ghost.
You weren’t sure how long you sat on the edge of the physio bed. Long enough for the team to have cleared out of the changing rooms, you think. You really should go shower. But you couldn’t move. Everything felt heavy. You were too tired to push yourself off the padded table, too weary to make the short walk back to the changing room, too fatigued to get into the car and drive home. A knock on the door pulled you from your spiral.
“Can I come in?” Ona. You looked up, reminding Ona of a meerkat on patrol. You smiled weakly, nodding and gesturing to the bed opposite. She didn’t take it, just shifting to stand on the other side of the door, ready to run if she needed to.
“Lo siento,” she murmured eventually. Why was she apologising? You were the one that needed to fix everything.
“You’re not the one who should be apologising,” you muttered dejectedly.
“I know, but Lucia is –”
“No, no, no, no,” you rushed out, cutting her off. “It’s me. I’m the one who should be apologising,” you corrected yourself. “I’m a horrible person. I am a truly awful person. I mean, who does that to their friends? Who disappears for days without telling them what was wrong?” You swallowed, taking a deep breath before surging on. “I need to apologise to you, Oni, uh, Ona … um,” you chuckled awkwardly. You cleared your throat. “I am so, truly, deeply, honestly sorry for what I did to you. I hate myself for it. God, now I’m crying again.” you said humorously, the joke falling flat as you wiped tears away. “I’m just so sorry. I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you, to Lucy, to Alexia, to the team. I don’t even know if you want me to make it up to you or if I should just let you live your life without me. You’d probably be better off,” you rambled. “I hurt everyone around me, and I have no explanation for it. Nothing beyond that; I genuinely didn’t mean to. I wasn’t thinking; I was just so overwhelmed with it all, and being here in Barcelona made it so much worse, so I just left, and I didn’t look at my phone because it was easier not to. It wasn’t happening if I wasn’t looking at my phone. It’s no excuse, and I’m not trying to make one up, I promise. It was wrong, and I know that. I know I fucked up so badly, and I’ve probably ruined the best things to ever happen to me, and now you all hate me, and I’m so, so sorry,” you sobbed. You hadn’t even noticed Ona had moved closer to you, her own tears streaming down her face, until her arms wrapped around you. “No, no,” you pushed her off or attempted to at least. “I don’t deserve your comfort. I am a horrible person, I don’t deserve…” you couldn’t finish as another wave of sobs broke through.
“Shhhh,” she whispered softly, her arms tightening around you despite your weak protests. You tried to move away, but the softness of her shirt, the warmth of her body, and the kindness in her voice were too inviting. “What you did … disappearing like that,” she began, her words spoken into your sweaty hair. “Realmente dolió,” her voice cracked slightly; you tightened your arms around her waist in response. “Your actions were bad, yes. But you are not bad,” she said emphatically.
You took a shuddering breath, the truth in her words piercing through the haze of your self-loathing. “I’ve made such a mess of everything,” you murmured, your voice muffled against her shoulder. “I don’t know how to fix it.” Ona pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes.
“You start by forgiving yourself,” she said gently. “Because …” she paused momentarily, “I forgive you. Te perdono. Et perdono.” This set a new wave of tears bubbling up. It was painful and raw but cathartic, too.
You didn’t want to, but you couldn’t help it as you felt a glimmer of hope. It was fragile and tentative, but it was there, a tiny spark in the darkness. You clung to it, feeling Ona’s warmth and forgiveness surround you. The heaviness in your chest lightened just a fraction, enough to allow a breath of relief. Ona’s embrace tightened, and you let yourself sink into it, missing how her hugs had felt, the comfort she brought you just by being close. She pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your head. “I’m sorry,” you whispered into the fabric covering her stomach.
“I know you are,” she replied just as quietly.
Every moment of the next few days seemed to blend into the next with dizzying speed, and you found yourself caught between triumph and confusion. Winning the Copa de la Reina, preparing for the Champions League, and waiting for the international announcements - it was a lot of everyone to process. Yet amidst the frenzy, you were quietly trying to mend the fractures in your relationships. Conversations, laden with heartfelt apologies, unfolded with each member of the team. More tears were shed, but you slowly began the painstaking process of stitching what was broken. Even as you sat beside Mapí during the Copa final, her silence spoke volumes, a tangible reminder of the distance still to be bridged. The sparse conversation, a mere trickle compared to her usual torrent of words, served as a reminder of the work yet to be done but also of the hope that lingered in the spaces between.
Then came the chaos of the Champions League final, a rollercoaster of emotions that whisked you from uncertainty to jubilation in the span of ninety minutes. Initially resigned to the sidelines, your ankle injury deemed worthy of rest by Jona, fate intervened as Ona fell. In an instant, the plans shifted, and you found yourself thrust onto the pitch, the weight of the final moments heavy on your shoulders. Yet as the final whistle blew and the roar of triumph echoed around the stadium, any lingering doubts were drowned out by the sheer joy of victory. Despite the bittersweet knowledge that this might mark the end of your journey with the team, at that moment, you refused to let anything dim the radiance of your victory.
The only issue that remained was Lucy. Ona had been careful to keep you two apart, but with the Olympics fast approaching, you knew a conversation was in desperate need. You had booked it ages ago, just after the Nation League finals, when you found out Germany and Spain would be heading off to fill the European spots in the Olympics. At the time, you hadn’t questioned it when you booked a singular hotel room with two beds for the entire two weeks of the competition. At the time, the logistics seemed simple enough – a singular hotel room with two beds, a pragmatic arrangement for two good friends united at WAGs in supporting their respective partners. But now … now everything was different.
And then you were waiting for Lucy in the middle of the Barcelona airport. What should you say? What would she say? Was she still angry at you? Judging by Ona’s actions, she probably was, but you didn’t quite know how bad these two weeks would be. You had decided that if worse came to worse, you would fork out for a new hotel room. It would probably be eye-wateringly expensive and damn near impossible to do, but you would do it. You knew a few of the partners of the German national team fairly; maybe you could crash on their floor? No. You needed to fix this. If not for your sake, then for Ona’s. You could see how hard this was for her, keeping her girlfriend and her best friend away from each other whilst balancing the international commitments.
You needed a plan. Ask her how she is when she first arrives. Let her start the conversation. Buy her a coffee. Let her choose the window seat if she wants it. Pay for the taxi from the airport to the hotel. Ask her if you could talk properly. If she says yes, apologise again. Answer all her questions honestly and truthfully. Try not to cry. If she says no … find another hotel.
You had been so wrapped up in her thinking that you had missed her arrival. She looked tired, but not angry. At least you don’t think she looked angry.
“Oh,” you said, surprised. “Hi.” You smiled at her. She nodded once, silently gesturing to the check-in desk behind you.
It was the most painfully awkward 3 hours of your life. Every attempt at conversation felt stilted and forced. You were often met with nods and grunts instead of actual answers. She granted you a small half-smile as you presented her with a coffee from the nicer-but-more-expensive stand near the gates. All you could do was keep reminding yourself that you were doing this for Ona. You were here to support Ona, your best friend. And Lena. Sweet, kind, perfect Lena … Ona and Lena, Ona and Lena, Ona and Lena
The room was rather large, you were grateful to realise. The beds positioned far enough apart to provide some privacy for you both, as well as a small seating area. The small balcony outside offered a great view, the hum of the bustling city audible, even from high up in the hotel. You waited for her to choose a bed, hoovering anxiously by the door, your grip tight on your suitcase. Ok … show time.
“Um … Lucy?" you began, the butterflies in your chest increasing when she didn’t look up. “Can we talk? I need … I want to apologise to you properly and talk a little.” Nothing. No reaction. Not even a flicker. This was not a part of the plan. She was supposed to say yes or no. Not nothing.  “Right, um …” you wracked your brains, trying to think of what to do now. “Ok, um, if you don’t want to talk, that’s ok too. I’ll… um … I’ll just … I’ll just get out of your hair, then. Uhh, yeh.” Maybe you had come on too strong. Perhaps she needed to settle in for a bit first. You turned to go, your hand struggling to find the doorknob in your haste.
“Wait.” You froze. Every muscle locked as you waited for her to continue. “You’re right; we need to talk.” Turning back to face her, you looked at her properly for the first time in weeks. She looked so tired. The weight of everything was clearly etched into the lines of her face. Her green eyes were darker than normal, the set of her shoulders hunched slightly.
“Here? Or we could go get a coffee? My treat.” You managed a small, tentative smile, hoping it would ease some of the tension between you.
“A coffee sounds nice,” she gave a slow nod, picking up her purse and moving across the room.
The café was very typically French, no doubt redecorated somewhat for the influx of tourists, but the smell of freshly brewed coffees and warm croissants was too inviting to pass on.
“Bonjour,” Lucy smiled at the barista, her order flowing with ease in a torrent of French.
She stepped to the side, allowing you to add in your abysmal French, “un petit chocolat chaud, s'il vous plait,” handing over your card to pay for the drinks.
The seats were wide and comfortable, offering a quiet space for you to talk openly.
“I forgot you spoke French,” you fiddled with the napkin on the side of your saucer.
“Yeh, I didn’t want to lose it when I left Lyon. And it’s been helpful for learning Catalan too.” Lucy smiled weakly.
“How’s that going, by the way? Learning Catalan, I mean,” you started, attempting to break the ice a little
“Don’t. Don’t do that, Y/N. You wanted to talk, so talk.” She cut you off bluntly. Ok, she was still a little angry. That was fine, you could manage that, you think.
“Ok, um, well. I wanted to apologise.” You spoke slowly, thinking of exactly what to say before you said it. “Properly.” You took a steading breath. “I have no excuse, no explanation really, of why I did what I did. Why I disappeared. But … I am truly sorry. I know I hurt you, and Ona, and Alexia, the whole team, really. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you to watch Ona in that state.” You took a sip of your drink to help steady yourself. “I was selfish, and I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions. I was childish and immature; you were right.” You looked up to see Lucy’s eyes fixed on you, her expression unreadable but attentive. You took it as a sign to continue. “What I did was inexcusable, but I didn’t do it consciously. Lena said either I go to her, or she would come to me, and with the Pokal final coming, I couldn’t let her leave Germany, so I went to her. It all happened so fast, and when I got to Germany, everything was clearer, easier a little, I’m not really sure. But Barça and everything to do with Barcelona was just too much. I know that it might not make a difference, but I didn’t purposefully think about shutting everyone out and disappearing.” You took another sip. “I really am sorry for how I behaved. I completely understand if you don’t want to spend the next 2 weeks in a hotel room with me. I can find somewhere else if-”
“Stop it.” Her voice was quiet but commanding. Your mouth snapped shut, your nervous eyes drifting up to meet her gaze. “I appreciate your apology.” It wasn’t forgiveness, but she had at least acknowledged it.
“I really am sorry,” you cut in.
“Stop saying sorry.” You could tell it was an attempt at humour.
“Sorry,” you smiled sheepishly. She raised an eyebrow in response, trying to come off unamused but failing. Your heart lightened a little at the small sliver of the normal Lucy returning.
“I’m not angry at you,” she began. “No, wait, that’s not quite true. I was incredibly angry at you,” she corrected herself. “When I see people I love and care about upset, I get angry, and you really hurt Ona. But … I was also annoyed at the team, including Ona ...” You looked up, confused. “They all forgave you so easily, so quickly. It was like they had forgotten how hard it was for all of us when we didn’t know where you were, if you were safe … if you were still alive. And then I got angry at myself for being angry with everyone and ...” She stopped, looking around at the café you were sitting in.
“Um … they didn’t.” you breathed. It was her turn to look confused. “They didn’t forgive me. I spoke to Alexia after the first training session … I was back for. She explicitly said she hadn’t forgiven me. I still don’t think she fully has,” you licked your lips. “Not that she has to,” you added quickly. “No one has to forgive me if they don’t want to. Um, I guess the others picked up on her changes in behaviour and were following her lead.” It sounded like a question. Truthfully, you weren’t sure why everyone had eased off on you so fast, but you weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“I … I didn’t know that.” Lucy muttered, either to you or to herself you weren’t sure.
“And Ona didn’t speak to me until after … that training session. God, I was a total mess. I am an ugly crier, and, bloody hell, was I sobbing,” you tried to lighten the mood.
“I didn’t know that either …” she trailed off. The silence wasn’t awkward, not anymore. But there were definitely things still unsaid that lingered in the space between you. “That makes me look like a total arse,”
“No, it doesn’t,” you said gently. “You were hurt and angry. You had every right to react in that way. I was a total bitch.”
“So was I,” she said wryly. Lucy sighed deeply, rubbing her temples. “It’s just … I didn’t realise how much I was holding onto. I'm sorry if I ... we ... made you feel like you couldn't come to us.”
“Thank you,” you said softly. “But disappearing was wrong. And I don’t expect immediate forgiveness. I want to make that clear. I just want a chance to make things right, to show you that I’m here to stay. Well, not literally, anyway, but … I’m working on it. I’ve started making enquiries for a therapist. I’m really trying to get better at communication and stuff.” You nodded, pushing some hair behind your ear.
“Where are you going anyway? I haven’t seen an announcement or anything.” She took another sip of her coffee, a clear attempt at normalcy.
“Um … Bayern,” you bit your lip. “I think if Barça were to offer me an extension I would have taken it, but I’m excited to move. It’s a new challenge and stuff,”
“Hey, hey, I don’t need the media spiel. I get it. It also helps that a certain someone is also moving to Bayern?” she guessed.
“Well, that’s definitely a perk that other teams didn’t have.” You both let out a soft laugh.
“I really am sorry, Luce,” you said when the laughter died down.
"I know you are. And I am too. None of us were acting very grown up." She smiled at you. You grinned back at her. “Now then, have you got the schedule for Lena’s matches?” She asked, taking another sip and shuffling her chair closer to you, a clear change of subject, yet also a tentative step towards what your relationship used to be like.
Over the next 2 weeks. You truly rediscovered how much you loved football. With good food and good friends, it was easy to fall in love with the sport. The Olympics was special. The energy was electric, and it showed on the pitch. You watched as Lena dominated the field. You were fairly sure you had dribbled a little when she made her appearance with the Captain’s armband on. You were very grateful that the Spain match was later in the day, so you had attended this particular game alone.
“Schatz,” Lena shouted when friends and family were finally allowed over to see the players. “Come here,” she waved you over, holding a hand out for you and helping you over the barrier.
“You played so well, Liebe.” You congratulated her, a hand resting on her bicep as you kissed the corner of her mouth.
“Danke, Schatz. I have some people I want you to meet,” she said as she tucked you into her side, an arm thrown across your shoulders. “This is my mama,” she said proudly, presenting you to the woman in front of you.
“Um …” you blinked and swallowed. “Hallo?” you settled on, a shocked smile on your face.
And then the summer was over. The long, sun-drenched days had given way to cooler evenings, the warmth slowly seeping out of the air as autumn crept in. The vibrant hues of green began to fade, replaced by the rich, earthy tones of autumn. The laughter and chatter of tourists that had filled the streets grew quieter, the city settling back into its regular rhythm. Slowly, forgiveness was shown on all sides. After long talks well into the cool summer nights, an understanding was reached. The scars would probably always be there, but they were not just a faint white line, not raw and open.
“Look after her,” Ona whispered in Lena’s ear as they hugged. The pair stepped back to look at you in a tight embrace with Alexia.
“I will.” Lena promised.
As you held Alexia, you could feel the strength of her emotions mirrored in the tightness of her grip. “Mantenerte fuerte, cariño,” she murmured into your shoulder, her voice muffled. “We’ll see each other soon.”
You pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. “I’ll miss you,” you said, your voice cracking a little. “But I’ll be back before you know it.”
Alexia nodded, blinking back tears. “Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself.
“Prometo,” you assured her, giving her one last squeeze before letting go.
“Bye, kid.” Lucy said, stepping forward for her own hug.
“Bye, Luce,” you replied. “Look after Ona,” you whispered to her.
“Of course.” Her arms tightened fractionally before you let go. "Look after yourself too, yeh?" You nodded into her neck, laughing as she tried to ruffle your hair.
All three of them separated themselves slightly as you and Ona came face to face.
“I’m not going to cry,” you said defiantly, your voice already wavering.
“Me neither,” Ona echoed the sadness in your own. You pulled her forward, arms wrapping around her shoulders as you pressed a kiss to her hair. The embrace was long and tight, both of you reluctant to let go. You could feel the slight tremble in her body. You were sure you were shaking, too.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” you whispered, your voice breaking despite your best efforts to stay composed. Ona pulled back just enough to look into your eyes.
“I’ll miss you too,” she said, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “But we’ll stay in touch ... every day.”
“Every day,” you promised her, pulling her into another tight hug. You held on for a few more precious moments before finally, reluctantly, letting go.
Lena approached you then, her expression soft but determined. “Ready?” she asked, holding a hand out for you to take.
You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m ready.” You placed your hand in hers, cementing the notion that you were doing this together.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” you said, trying to inject some lightness into your voice. “And when I am, it’ll be for the Champions League, and we’re going to crush you,” you jested.
Ona smiled, a tear finally escaping down her cheek. “Oh, please. We’re Barcelona,” she said.
“Yeh, we’ll we’re Bayern. Feel our wrath.” You stuck your tongue out, a similar tear rolling down your face. You paused, reluctant to turn away.
“Look at you.” Alexia smiled proudly. “Getting a new job. Moving to a new city. Moving in with your girlfriend. A proper adult now.”
“Not too adult, though. I still need you.”
I hope you enjoyed the story and the series as a whole. Please let me know what you though <3<3<3<3
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moonxytcn · 1 month
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Heyyy (btw before I request anything ur writing is literally pure GOLD) anyways could u write about how the reader and billie have always been friends since childhood up to her newest album hit me hard and soft. Billie is on tour and the reader always finds a way to get front row tickets to her bestfriends shows. A few days before tour started the reader posted a TikTok with billie lying across her lap on the sofa. In the comments there was lots of speculation about a flirty friendship (behind closed doors the reader and billie both knew that was true). A few days later Billie was performing in LA. An hour or so into the show billie starts singing ‘Billie Bossa Nova’ from her album happier than ever. When it gets to the lyrics “nobody saw me in the lobby…𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐰 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬” Billie gave a smirk to the crowd instantly locking eyes with the reader and winking knowing full well that due to that TikTok posted a few days before, EVERYBODY saw her in your arms.
Nobody saw me in your arms
| Billie Eilish x fem!reader
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summary – Billie and you finally talk about how you feel after years of hidden feelings and fan speculation
warnings – fluffy
a/n – heyyy thank you so much for the request!! hope you like it
| English is not my first language so there may be some errors.
| Masterlist —✽— Pinned Post
   ㅤ✯ ━━━━━━ ✿ ✫ ✿ ━━━━━━ ✯
–––
Billie’s voice echoes through the packed venue, the energy in the room palpable as she performs each song with the intensity and emotion that only she can bring. You’ve always been amazed at how she can captivate an audience, how she can make every single person in the room feel like she’s singing directly to them. But tonight, as you stand front row, the bass reverberating through your chest, you know that, for at least one song, she really is singing to you.
It’s been like this for as long as you can remember. From the time you were kids, Billie had a way of drawing people in. You still remember the days when she’d sneak into your room with a mischievous grin, her hair dyed some new, vibrant color, and a guitar slung over her shoulder. Back then, it was just the two of you, making up songs and laughing until your sides hurt. You’d listen to her dreams of becoming a star, and though you always believed in her, it was hard to imagine the tiny spark of a girl next door turning into the powerhouse standing on stage tonight.
You’ve been by her side through it all. From those early, impromptu jam sessions in your living room to the first time she played in front of a real crowd, you’ve watched her grow into the artist she is today. And no matter how big she’s gotten, how many millions of fans scream her name, she’s always made sure you were right there with her.
When Billie’s latest album, 'Hit Me Hard and Soft', dropped, you were one of the first people to hear it. She’d sent you the demos before the rest of the world even knew it existed, nervously biting her lip as she waited for your reaction. Of course, you loved it. How could you not? The album was everything she was—bold, vulnerable, raw, and beautiful. It was a testament to everything she’d been through, and everything you’d gone through together.
But of all the songs she has ever made, one has caught her attention. 'Billie Bossa Nova' was different from the rest, and when you first heard it, your heart skipped a beat. The lyrics were sultry, teasing, full of secrets whispered behind closed doors. You recognized yourself in the song, in the way Billie’s voice dipped and softened, in the way she played with the words like they were meant just for you. And you knew, in that moment, that your friendship had never been just a friendship.
You never talked about it—not really. Sure, there had been moments, stolen glances, lingering touches, that said more than words ever could. But neither of you wanted to ruin what you had. The connection between you was too special, too rare to risk by putting a label on it. So you kept it quiet, hidden behind the walls of inside jokes and childhood memories.
But a few days before the tour kicked off, something changed. You’d posted a TikTok of the two of you lounging on your sofa, Billie sprawled across your lap, her head resting comfortably against your chest. It was an innocent video, just a moment of you two being you, but the comments quickly exploded with speculation. People saw what was between you, even if you hadn’t fully admitted it to yourselves. The rumors of a "flirty friendship" spread like wildfire, with fans dissecting every interaction, every glance, every smile.
Billie had laughed it off when you showed her, her eyes twinkling with that familiar, mischievous glint. "Let them talk", she’d said, and you both agreed to keep it under wraps, to keep the world guessing.
And now, here you are, in the middle of her sold-out LA show, and you can feel the anticipation building. The setlist is winding down, and you know 'Billie Bossa Nova' is coming. You’ve been to every show so far on this tour, using every connection you have to secure front-row tickets. It's become your little tradition, a way to remind her that no matter how big her world gets, you'll always be there, front and center.
The lights dim, and the crowd hushes as the familiar, sultry beat of 'Billie Bossa Nova' starts to play. Billie steps to the edge of the stage, her gaze scanning the audience, and you can feel your heart start to race. You know this moment is for you.
As she sings, her voice dripping with honeyed tones, she sways to the rhythm, her eyes locking with yours. The crowd disappears, the world fades away, and it’s just the two of you, sharing a secret that no one else can touch. Then she gets to the line that makes your breath hitch every time: "Nobody saw me in the lobby…" She pauses for a beat, and you see the corner of her mouth quirk up in a playful smirk. "…nobody saw me in your arms."
And then she winks.
It’s quick, almost imperceptible to anyone not paying attention, but you catch it. Your stomach flips, a rush of warmth spreading through you as you realize what she’s just done. With that one simple gesture, she’s acknowledged everything. The TikTok, the rumors, the truth behind closed doors. She’s letting you know that she remembers, that she sees you, and that she’s just as affected as you are.
The crowd erupts into cheers, but you barely hear them. Your eyes are glued to Billie, your heart pounding as she finishes the song, still holding your gaze. When the final note fades, she blows a kiss to the audience, and you know that it’s meant for you.
The rest of the concert passes in a blur, your mind stuck on that moment, on the way she made you feel like the only person in the world. When the show finally ends, and the lights come up, you make your way backstage, your pulse racing with anticipation.
Billie’s waiting for you, her face flushed with the afterglow of the performance. "So." She says, a teasing lilt in her voice as she leans against the wall, "how’d you like the show?"
You roll your eyes, but you can’t keep the smile off your face. "You know I loved it."
"Good." She replies, her eyes sparkling. "Because that little wink? It was just for you."
Your breath catches as she steps closer, her gaze never leaving yours. "Billie, about that TikTok—" You start, but she cuts you off with a soft laugh.
"Don’t worry about it." She says, her voice low, almost a whisper. "Let them talk, remember?"
"But…" You hesitate, unsure of how to put everything you’re feeling into words. "But what if we want more than just letting them talk?"
She’s quiet for a moment, her expression softening as she reaches out to take your hand. "Then maybe it’s time we stop hiding." She says gently. "We’ve been dancing around this for years, and I’m tired of pretending. Aren’t you?"
You nod, your heart swelling with relief and something deeper, something that’s been building between you for as long as you can remember. "Yeah." You whisper, squeezing her hand. "I’m tired of pretending too."
Billie smiles, and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. "Good." She says, pulling you into a hug that feels like coming home. "Because I want you in my life—front row, center stage—where you belong."
As you hold each other, the noise of the world fades away, and it’s just the two of you again, just like it’s always been. But this time, there are no more secrets, no more hiding. Just the truth, out in the open, for everyone to see.
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charnelhouse · 2 years
Note
Thinking of ghost as a dad makes me think of red taking her toddler son shopping for Halloween decorations and seeing a skeleton and the sweet boy is pointing and bouncing up and down like “it’s dada!”
A/N: Ghost x F!Reader (Red Fox). Pure fluff. This ask made me curl up with joy.
She’s a little late. Only ten minutes and it could be anything: traffic, an additional errand, a parking lot shoot-out. Simon’s fingers twitch as his cell phone sits on the coffee table.
It’s only ten minutes.
Ten. Minutes.
He’d lost her in Ecuador for four fucking days, and she’d been fine. Well, relatively fine. Alive.
She can survive anything. He knows this. He feels this. But he cannot shake the belief that one day, his past will catch up to him and take her away. 
Don’t be a fuckhead, Simon. If it’s anyone’s past, it’s going to be mine. 
That makes me feel better, duchess. 
We’re sharing the burden, babe. Lucky for this kid, he’s got two spec ops, hot-ass parents. 
Yah really love a finger gun, don’t you? 
It’s called levity, dude. You’re too damn broody. 
“Don’t call her.”
Simon startles before side-eyeing Johnny, who is spread out on the far end of the couch. “I wasn’t gonna,” he growls defensively. 
“You’re staring at that phone like it’s a bomb.”
“She’s late.”
“She’s running errands with your enormous toddler. Yah know how hard it is to lift that kid? Try wrestling him into a car seat. Took me half an hour.”
Simon scowls. “Of course, I know. I do raise him.”
Johnny wiggles his eyebrows. “He takes after me.”
“Yeah, my enormous son is definitely your kid, tiny.”
“I’m six fuckin’ feet. Thank yah very much.”
“You’re still here?” 
Simon twists around to see Red standing in the doorway. She’s got their son on her hip and an orange plastic bag in her other hand. She leaves him breathless. Her skin dewy, her hair falling in her face. Stunning in a way that burns him. He still wants to shove her over a table and wreck her, but that desire is now weighted with something far more tender. She’s carried his baby.
He knew she’d be a good mother, but he didn’t expect her to excel at it so...perfectly. She can handle a tantrum and peel a man’s skin off.  She can silence him with a look.
“Simon said I could stay for dinner,” Johnny declares.
“I did not,” Simon refutes as he stands, rolling his shoulders. Their son’s tiny lips peel apart into a toothy grin, he claps his chubby hands together. 
“Dada,” he squeals as he opens his arms. 
Ghost smiles back, unable to blunt the joy that unfurls in his chest. Sometimes it’s all too much. 
“He got you something,” Red says as she places him on the floor. When she straightens, she presses her hand to her lower back. “Jesus - that kid is heavy. Remind me to stop having your babies.”
“Uhuh,” Ghost says dutifully. “Of course.”
She’d threatened to leave him a thousand times when she was giving birth. Their son’s head had not been easy to deliver. 
Red pulls something from her bag and hands it to their son, who waddles toward him. Simon crouches and sweeps him up in his arms. The boy squeals again delighted. 
“What have you got there?” he asks as he nuzzles his nose into the down of his son’s head, the soft velvet curls. He smells like Red’s perfume.
“Dada!” he giggles as he lifts a plastic skeleton. Soap barks with laughter. 
“He saw it in the store and lost it,” Red says as she walks toward them, placing a hand on the boy’s back. He shakes the skeleton before hugging it close. “Kept calling it dada. Got a lot of weird looks.” She cocks her head, her tongue darting over her lower lip. “I just wanted everyone to know that I’m getting it from a really hot skeleton.”
“Yah got a filthy head, Foxy.”
“You don’t even live here, Johnny.”
“Dada,” his son murmurs as he burrows his face into Simon’s throat. The skeleton is clutched against his chest, and he feels the boy relax, his damp, milky breath puffing against him as he nods off. 
Simon clears his throat, blinking a few times. There’s a raw snag of emotion in his throat that he can’t seem to swallow. Simon tries to pull the skeleton from the boy’s hands to look at it, but his son yanks it closer. 
“Typical,” Red remarks, her lips quirking in amusement. 
“What is?” Simon smirks because he already knows.
“Do you know how hard it is to shake you off when you’re asleep? It’s like being spooned by a bull slash octopus.”
“It’s true,” Johnny interjects in an empathetic tone. “Remember Siberia?”
“That was a life and death situation!” Simon snaps. “Sub-zero temperatures.”
Red’s eyes widen, her expression intrigued. “Give me the details, Johnny, and I’ll make you dinner.”
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elizabethlailolsenfan · 10 months
Note
Hi! So I was wondering if you could do one that’s like the reader pulls Vanessa’s neck tie, and then she gets really turned on from that. And like she ends up fucking the reader in the back of her cop car :)
Just one more, love
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Contains: Smut, Dirty talk, handcuff use, semi-public sex?, Slight fingering, strap-on use. Let me know what else I'm missing!
Side note: This took awhile so please forgive me!
You have had a crush on Vanessa for a while since working at Freddy Fazbears Pizzaria alongside Mike Schmitt. There was something about her that made you go crazy, but the moment Vanessa Shelly was about to leave the pizzeria, Vanessa felt a hand on her shoulder, and she knew it was you due to how you grabbed her. Vanessa turned her head with a smile on her face. "What is it, y/n?" You were nervous until you said, "I um, I wanted to give you this." You give the blonde officer a piece of paper, folded neatly in your hand. As she unfolds it, her eyes widen with surprise. It's a heartfelt letter expressing your feelings for her and how much she means to you. You anxiously await her response, hoping she feels the same way. But before Vanessa answered, you pulled on her necktie and pulled her closer, unable to contain your emotions any longer. The room fell silent as you leaned in for a passionate kiss, sealing your love for each other in that moment.
You released the kiss, and your cheeks turned red due to embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it—" Vanessa kissed you, but more deeply. Her hand was on her neck, yet you were still gripping her black necktie. Finally, she released the kiss with a smirk on her face. Vanessa looks down at your grip on the necktie and gently removes your hand, her eyes filled with amusement. "You really have a thing for my necktie, don't you?" she teases, her voice laced with affection. "Come with me." Vanessa grips your wrist and takes you outside of the Pizzaria, taking you into the backseat of her cop car.
After you and Vanessa release the kiss, both of you become breathless and your lips become puffy, Vanessa gives you a grin and loosens her necktie, your mind is running wild. “You look so fucking good underneath me like this Y/n, I can’t wait to have you like this,” Vanessa said adjusting herself on top of you. You bit your bottom lip which was a slight Vanessa loved seeing, Vanessa leaned down and kissed your puffy lips again, her hands on your hips and pulling you more to her pelvis making your legs wrap around her waist, A small strand of Vanessa's blonde hair of her ponytail comes down and her hair is slightly disheveled of her ponytail, adding to the raw and passionate atmosphere.
As she continues to move against you, her breath becomes heavy and her moans fill the car, intensifying the connection between you both. The kiss then turned messy and Vanessa couldn't help but start dry-humping you, her body pressing against yours with increasing urgency. The car windows fogged up as the heat between you grew, leaving no doubt about the intensity of your desire for each other. Vanessa kissed your neck marking you making you grip her police uniform shirt tighter, unable to resist the overwhelming desire coursing through your veins. The sound of her soft whispers in your ear only fueled the fire, as you found yourselves completely lost in the moment, surrendering to the undeniable passion that consumed you both. "You're so beautiful y/n, so fucking irresistible," Vanessa whispered, her voice filled with longing.
The intensity of her gaze matched the heat radiating between you, as if the world around you had faded away, leaving only the two of you in that moment of pure desire. Vanessa kept grinding her body against yours, the rhythm of her movements syncing perfectly with the pounding of your heart. You tried to remove her uniform but she chuckled and pinned your hands above your head, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "Uniform stays on beautiful," Vanessa says, her voice laced with seduction. Her eyes were dark with desire, and her expression was pure lust, the intensity of her gaze making your knees weak. You could feel the heat between your legs intensify as her eyes traveled down your body, taking in every inch of you. "Vanessa…" you whimpered, desperate for her touch.
"Yes, baby? What is it? What do you want me to do to you?" Vanessa asked, her voice dripping with sex. "I- I want you." Vanessa made a small grin and kissed your lips passionately and she found the waistband of your pants, pulling them down. Vanessa grabbed her handcuffs put them around your wrists and cuffed you against the door handle, her eyes locked with yours. You felt her finger run over your folds, causing you to let out a soft moan. Vanessa bites her bottom lip as she sees how wet you are. "So wet for me… you're such a good girl," she whispers, her voice husky with desire. Your breath hitched as you felt her fingers tease your entrance, sliding in and out with agonizing slowness. You whimpered, craving more, and Vanessa gave a devilish smirk. "Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me how bad you want it." "Please… please fuck me, Vanessa," you begged, the need in your voice unmistakable. Vanessa bit her bottom lip and increased the pace of her fingers, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. You were so close, but she knew exactly how to keep you right on the edge, drawing out your ecstasy and savoring every second. Vanessa pulled out her fingers and licked them off, moaning at the taste. "Delicious. You're so fucking delicious."
"Please… please…" You were practically begging now, and Vanessa grinned. "Don't worry, love… you'll get what you want, I promise." Vanessa unbuckled her unity belt and pulled out a purple strap… did she know this was gonna happen… at this point… you're not complaining at all.
"Spread your legs wide, baby," Vanessa demanded, her voice low and husky. You obeyed, and you could see the lust in her eyes as she watched you, her pupils dilated with arousal. Once you spread your legs, Vanessa gripped your legs and pulled you closer to her, her grip was a bit rough but you liked it. She lined up the dildo and slowly pushed in, causing you to moan. Vanessa smirked and began thrusting at a steady pace, gradually increasing her speed. You let out a silent moan as the dildo rubbed against your g-spot, and Vanessa knew she had found it. She leaned forward and began kissing and sucking on your neck, marking you. You arched your back as she continued her relentless pace, the pleasure building inside you. Your eyes start to close but once Vanessa removes her lips from your neck she grips your chin and forces you to look at her, her grip is rough. "Don't you fucking dare close those pretty eyes," Vanessa says her voice laced with seduction, you could hear her voice echoing through the car. The sounds of your moans and Vanessa's heavy breathing fill the car, along with the feeling of intense pleasure as she continues her assault. The car rocked back and forth, the windows fogging up.
The heat was unbearable, but neither of you wanted to stop.
"Vanessa.." You moaned, “I love it when you moan my name like that baby…” Vanessa says. Vanessa thrusts harder and faster, her grip tightening on your thighs, her nails digging into your skin. The pain and pleasure were intoxicating, and you felt yourself getting closer to release. "There you go Y/n, let go… cum for me," Vanessa says as her pace never slowed. You let out a strangled moan as you reach your climax, but Vanessa doesn't stop, prolonging your pleasure. Her grip on your thighs loosened as she finally slowed her pace, allowing you to catch your breath. The aftershocks of your orgasm still coursed through you, and you could feel Vanessa's eyes on you, watching your every move. You grip her arms as she keeps thrusting, the sensations becoming too much for you. "Vanessa, please…" You begged, not sure if you could handle any more. Vanessa smirked, her eyes full of desire. "Just one more, love. You can do it." She began moving her hips in a circular motion, the dildo rubbing against your g-spot once again. You moaned, unable to resist the pleasure. "F-Fuck!" You moaned, your body trembling with pleasure. You couldn't take it anymore, and you reached your second climax, your body spasming with pleasure. Vanessa finally stopped and removed the dildo, a satisfied smile on her face. "You did so well, baby. You're such a good girl." Vanessa praises and gives a soft kiss on your cheek. Your cheeks flushed red and you were at a loss for words. You had just had the most intense sex of your life, and the person who made it happen was the very same person you had a crush on for the longest time.
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0omillo0 · 12 days
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MODEL! HYUNJIN X FEM! MODEL! READER
autor’s note: hi! this is my first post, I hope you’ll like it!
warnings: none!! pure fluff
Hyunjin, a renowned Versace model and gifted artist, has grown used to the fast-paced world of fashion. But when Y/N, a new model, steps into the scene, her authenticity catches his eye. As their paths intertwine, Hyunjin finds himself drawn not just to her beauty, but to something deeper—especially when he discovers a personal connection to his art in her life.
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The lights above the runway glowed bright as you walked, your heart racing with every step. It was your first major show—Versace, no less—and the pressure of the fashion world felt like it was resting squarely on your shoulders. You kept your face composed, though. It was the life you had chosen, after all.
As you reached the end of the runway and struck your final pose, you caught a glimpse of someone standing backstage. Hwang Hyunjin. A name you had heard whispered many times, both in the modeling industry and beyond. He was already legendary as a Versace model—and as an artist. He stood with that ethereal grace, watching the runway with a calm confidence. His aura drew you in instantly.
Backstage, the models buzzed with excitement, but you found yourself scanning the room for Hyunjin. You weren’t sure why—maybe it was the effortless way he carried himself, or the way his expressive eyes seemed to speak without words. But there he was, standing near a rack of designer outfits, quietly sketching in a notebook.
He must have felt your gaze, because his eyes lifted from the page and met yours.
You blinked and quickly turned away, embarrassed to have been caught staring.
A moment later, you heard a voice behind you. “Nervous?”
Turning, you found yourself face-to-face with Hyunjin. His smile was small but warm, and it made your heart stutter. “A little,” you admitted, forcing yourself to breathe.
“You didn’t show it out there. You looked great.”
Your cheeks flushed. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure if I would survive that.”
He chuckled, his laughter soft and genuine. “We all feel that way at first. Trust me.”
You nodded, trying to keep your cool. “You were sketching something?”
“Oh,” he glanced down at the notebook in his hand, almost shyly, “yeah, just passing time. It’s nothing.”
“I bet it’s beautiful,” you said without thinking. His sketches were famous—everyone knew Hyunjin wasn’t just a model but an incredible artist. His works sold out faster than any runway show.
Hyunjin raised an eyebrow at your comment, looking a little surprised, but his smile grew just a bit wider. “Maybe one day you’ll see for yourself.”
---
Days turned into weeks, and as more Versace events brought you together, you and Hyunjin grew closer. What began as polite conversations evolved into genuine exchanges—talks about art, fashion, and life beyond the glitz and glamor. He was different from the others. Though he was breathtaking in every way, Hyunjin never acted like it. Instead, he carried himself with a quiet humility, a soul deeper than the world around him realized.
One evening, after a long day of fittings, you sat backstage, scrolling through your phone to relax. Hyunjin approached, as he often did these days, and sat beside you. His presence had become comforting.
"What are you looking at?" he asked curiously.
"Oh, nothing special," you said, not thinking much of it as you showed him your phone. But his eyes widened slightly when he saw your lock screen.
It was one of his paintings—a swirling combination of colors and emotion that you had seen in an exhibition once. You loved how raw and alive it felt, and you had put it as your wallpaper without realizing Hyunjin might ever see it.
"That’s... my painting," he said softly, his voice almost touched with disbelief.
You felt a sudden rush of heat rise to your face. "Oh my god, I—yeah, it is. I didn’t think you'd—uh, I really loved it. It just felt so... powerful. I hope that's not weird."
He stared at the screen for a long moment before meeting your eyes. His usual calm demeanor had shifted, and for the first time, you saw something vulnerable in his expression.
"It’s not weird," he murmured, his voice lower than usual. "It’s... actually really special."
His hand brushed against yours as he handed your phone back, and neither of you moved away. The air between you seemed to thicken with something unspoken.
"You know," Hyunjin began, his gaze dropping for a second before looking back up, "people don’t usually talk about my art like that. They just think of me as a model."
"I don’t," you said softly. "I think you’re an incredible artist."
Hyunjin looked at you like you had said something life-changing. His hand stayed close to yours, and you felt a magnetic pull between you, as if something deeper had just clicked into place.
"Thank you, Y/N," he whispered, his voice almost fragile. "I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that."
---
As weeks passed, the connection between you and Hyunjin only deepened. The fashion shows continued, the flashing lights, the crowds, the interviews—but somehow, when you were with him, it all faded into the background.
He would seek you out between shoots, and you found yourself drawn to him in ways you couldn’t explain. His attention to detail, the way he viewed the world through an artistic lens, the kindness in his words—it made your heart race every time you saw him.
One evening, after a long day of rehearsals, the two of you found yourselves alone in the studio. Hyunjin was working on a painting in the corner while you sat nearby, watching him with quiet admiration. He glanced at you every so often, his eyes soft.
"Can I ask you something?" he said, breaking the silence.
"Of course."
"Why my painting?" he asked, his voice careful, but curious. "Out of all the art you could’ve chosen, why mine?"
You thought for a moment before answering. "Because it felt real. When I saw it, I felt something… like it was a piece of your soul. It wasn’t just a pretty picture—it had emotion, depth. I could see you in it."
Hyunjin stared at you for a long moment, something intense flickering in his gaze. He set his brush down and took a slow step closer.
"You saw me in it?" he repeated, his voice softer now, almost vulnerable.
"Yeah," you nodded, holding his gaze. "I did."
Hyunjin's breath hitched, and in that moment, something shifted between you. He reached out, gently taking your hand. His touch was warm, and his thumb brushed over your skin as if testing whether this was real.
"I see you too, Y/N," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "More than you know."
You stared up at him, your heart pounding as he stepped closer. His face was inches from yours now, his gaze flickering down to your lips before meeting your eyes again. And in that quiet space, where words seemed unnecessary, Hyunjin leaned in, capturing your lips in a soft, lingering kiss.
The world faded away, and for a moment, there was only the two of you—two artists, two souls, finding each other in the midst of the chaos.
———
I hope you enjoyed this story! Requests are open!!
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bedoballoons · 11 months
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Lyney, Lynette, and Wrio when their sweet Fontanian SO takes a splash of primordial sea water intended for them?
Ahhh this is so sad and yet so romantic and sweet at the same time. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your request, sorry it took so long to write!
─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂
{༻~Splish splash~༺}
CW: Angsty! Reader gets turned to water to save the character! Characters reactions included with no comfort :(
(Includes: Lyney, Lynette, and Wriothesley!)
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
𑁍༄Lyney:
Lyney was powerless, all he could do was sit there and stare at you with pure terror in his eyes, how could you...the love of his life who deserved to live far more than he felt he did... take his splash of death? Of all the ways the battle could have ended, he never assumed he'd be loosing you and to watch...as your body dissolved before his very eyes...he'd never felt such a numb feeling in his entire life. Even with all the things he'd experienced...none of them ever left him gasping for air and panicking with no end in sight.
"Why...why....WHY WOULD YOU D-DO THIS?!"
His hat fell to the floor as he screamed, raw emotions escaping him in that moment that if anyone heard...could feel his pain.
𑁍༄Lynette:
Lynette couldn't breath...she was trapped in slow motion with her eyes trained on the Primordial seawater that was intended to end her life, even if she tried to get away...even if the water didn't drench her...the smallest drop could leave her nothing but a puddle. It was like she mentally prepared for that ending, emotionless as the glittering water flew towards her...if only she'd been prepared for you to step in..
You stepped in front of her with barely a millisecond to spare, your eyes meeting as the water splashed against your back...all you could do was give her a reassuring smile as you as you fell to the ground...dissolving with almost no trace.
She fell to her knees, unable to form a single thought, unable to stop the tears that rolled down her otherwise emotionless features. She was in such a state of shock...that her skin had gone white, "N-no...no. N-n-no. It was s-supposed to be me. I-i could have handled it b-being me...no...not you."
𑁍༄Wriothesley:
Wriothesley knew his life was dangerous, he worked in a prison that was located entirely underwater and filled to the brim with dangerous criminals, not to mention that the building itself was storing a large amount of primordial seawater that could turn him into nothing but water in seconds, but none of that really mattered anymore. He got used to the idea he could go at any moment, he just used that to his advantage, living every day to the fullest. Especially when it came to you.
That's why when the primordial seawater was thrown at him, he was ready to accept fate, yes he's feel bad for leaving you...but as long as you made it out alive he considered it the best outcome. If only you had just followed his plan...
"No! What are you-"
He tried, but it was to late. You'd already been consumed by the water and in seconds you were gone along with it, he didn't even know why. Why would you save him? Something in him snapped, wether it be his heart or sanity...he didn't care, he didn't care if he made it out alive or dead. None of it even mattered, his life was now suddenly without purpose...he was empty inside.
"Why..."
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧
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ppongie · 2 months
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K.MINGYU — Leavin’
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“If that’s how you feel then it won’t happen again. Just get over it okay?” The last part wasn’t so necessary to say but.. at least it was all over.
He was ready to leave you alone in the kitchen, so when he took a few steps, you reached your hand out to hold his wrist. “Don’t.”
He was confused, shocked to say the least, by the hand on his wrist. “What?” He sighed out. Your lips parted wanting to say something but it seemed like your tongue was tied in knots.
He raised an eyebrow at you after waiting for less than five seconds “You got more to say?” He knew. Because your dilated pupils were shaking. “We never argue like this..” you dropped your hand from his wrist.
For some reason he missed your touch there, still feeling your hands wrapped around his wrist, like the feeling when someone’s done pinching your skin. It burned.
“We always make sure we’re okay in the end-“ “And we are-“ he cut you off to continue but you shake your head “No, we’re not.”
It was already hard for him to deal with his emotions but this conversation with you was harder to get out of. “I was going to leave you, gyu…” you remind him.
The sight of you grabbing your bags and throwing your clothes in. “I don’t know how you got this stubborn.” Did it take two years to put out the spark you two once had? Never knew there was a time limit to your love.
“I’m not stubborn,” now he’s being defensive. “It’s just..” he paused and by the look in your eyes, you wanted to know what he was going to say next.
Instead, he looks down at you. As if his time with you is running out. Everything came back to his senses once he realized that his choice of words, and actions, were all awful.
He never thought about your feelings in the process of it. He knew by then he’d lost you. His eyes went glossy so he looked the other away. “Never mind.” He stopped himself from saying anything further. Knowing if he kept going, he’ll keep fucking things up.
You only stayed quiet, you should’ve seen it coming. Him bottling up his feelings not wanting to be vulnerable with his emotions. Showing raw emotions wasn’t his thing. You should’ve left.
“If that’s how things are going to be between us, not solving anything and just ignoring each others feelings- I..”
Mingyu knew this was coming, but today?
He shook his head and now it was his turn to grab your wrist. “No don’t do this.” He held your hands and you tried pulling away from him. “I can’t Mingyu.”
No more gyu or other pet names will fall from those loving lips of yours that he adores so much. “Let me go.” You say in pure sadness.
Suddenly he felt like he was on quicksand. The world swallowing him whole and he can never reach to you. Ever.
“My bags are already packed. I’m going to Lia’s place.” He then followed you behind once you were making your way towards the bedroom.
“I’m sure you want the bed to yourself- it’s been a rough night.” You kept talking as your feet walked through the hallway where you two would often make out, make love- where you actually felt loved by him.
He didn’t reply to your words, the sounds of his footsteps behind you were the only response.
“I’ll get my keys, I’ll drive myself there.” You quickly say so he wouldn’t get the chance to offer. Not that he wanted to anyway.
He called you by your favorite nickname so you’d look at him, but your back was protecting you from seeing his face.
You let the tears stream down your cheeks as your shaky hands were trying to find your car keys. “You’re not leaving the house-“ “yes I am!”
“No you’re not!” He slammed his fist on the vanity table.
This was his first time being so loud, making you flinch. You slowly turn to him and he looked like a mess, just like you.
He repeats his words, calling you by your nickname as well “You’re not leaving me here. It’s two am. and who knows what the streets are doing-“
“I’ll be fine-“
“No, you won’t be.”
“..I’ll be fine-“
“It’s too dangerous out there.”
“I said, I’ll be fine-“
“You wont be safe!”
“This house isn’t safe anyway!”
You two exchange similar looks, both were scared. Should one hold the other? Should this argument continue? Who knows, but what you do know is that the two of you were tired.
“I’m tired of taking the blame all the time.” Your voice small, slowly you can hear the cracks forming in his heart just by looking at how miserable he is.
“I’m..”
Is he going to say it? Is he going to say it because you told him to, or is it because he really cares..
You. don’t. know.
“I’m sorry” he breathed out and your hand found the keys in your drawer. Taking it, you picked up your bag. “Should’ve said it sooner.”
He stood there in his place even when you left the house, the house you two made memories in. Walking away from him felt wrong, because he wasn’t chasing after you anymore.
Maybe that was a sign. That he was, and will never be, good for you.
part 1
part 2
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drewstarkeyluvbot · 2 months
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Let the light in
Rafe Cameron x ex-best friend pogue!reader
Summary: After Rafe drunkenly opens up his bare soul to you for the second time in your life, you're left bewildered and confused. You want to run away before he can pull you back in but perhaps a connection so profound is destined to be revived , in more ways than one.
warnings: angst , cursing , sexual content!
word count: 5k
part one , part two
~
The only evidence that indicated his presence was the empty glass of water on the coffee table and the - now dry - piece of cloth on the ground beside the worn-out couch. Rafe was gone the morning after.
He didn't reply to your last statement that night. You remember him staring at you blankly, your words slashing open another hole in his heart. So much blood, there's so much blood. Both of your wounds keep ripping open and you're both desperately trying to patch them up. Your efforts are in vain, the history behind them is too deep.
Why did he leave? Did he regret it? Did he even remember anything? Did he wake up , and was horrified at the sight of his surroundings, of your house? Did he know he opened his heart again, just like the time he told you he was in love with you?
Whatever his reasoning was, it was adequate to urge him to disappear from your house without a single word. But he did always have a habit of leaving, didn't he? Stop thinking he's who he used to be, stop thinking he's still your childhood friend , stop thinking he's still your first love.
I wish I could go back to the start.
You wanted to elbow him, slap him across the face and scream at him for a further explanation. He wishes he could go back to the start?. You wish there was no start at all ;  you want to rip your hair out and scream at your small, puffy-  cheeked five year old self to run when she sees that adorable, blue eyed boy approaching her at the playground. You want to warn her, caress her hair and tell her what a horrible person he is , tell her he's the fucking boogeyman ; anything to keep her away from the inevitable pain.
You can't.
You suppose the pain won't ever stop , you had growing accustomed to it before he reappeared. Pain is okay, it's to be expected when it stems from something that used to be so profound. You've sobbed yourself to sleep countless of times, until your eyes were itchy and red and your throat felt raw ; it felt really good, crying about him. Like unleashing your emotions inside the four walls of your cramped room, where they bounced off them and stayed inside.
That's what needs to happen. You can sob and cry and scream as much as your body allows you to ; you're entitled to. But you shouldn't be lead by pain.
So , as you're crying about Rafe Cameron under your warm, fluffy blanket and with the enchanting glow of the moon cascading over your body through your sketchy blinds , you understand that blotchy tears and sore throats won't get you anywhere. You're not okay - at the moment - but you will be, someday.
You're going to keep living until that moment arrives. Until the sight of him makes your lips tight and taut instead of wobbly, until he stops appearing in your dreams like an unachievable target, until he merely becomes a ghost of your past instead of a monster of your present.
Until then, salty tears and rapid headaches are your only resolution.
~
Since you were a child, you've always found getaways in order to escape the malicious feeling of pure pain. Crying and screaming assisted you in facing your pain, in confronting it. Nevertheless, at times you don't want to turn into a sobbing mess , you want not to think about it at all.
You've always loved the sea.
The sound of your feet digging into the sand and the soft splashing sound of the waves hitting the shore prevails over your soul crashing thoughts as you continue to increase the distance between you and your house. The beach is quiet and tranquil -mostly- a couple of people here and there, but the amount diminishing the further you find yourself walking.
Walking. Which is exactly what you planned to do until - you don't know - got lost, or until someone found you and dragged you away. You didn't plan to stop, not for anything, not for anyone.
You stare at the point where the sky meets the sea, the sun casting a warm, orange hue over the clear waters. You wished to be as beautiful and free as the ocean one day.
You love silence. You love feeling the wind slipping through your hair, the salt sticking to your skin and the sun turning your cheeks a pretty shade of rose. It's a feeling almost equivalent to the comfort a loved one can provide you with , the difference being that this feeling won't ever make you hurt.
The sun has fully set, shielding itself between the mountains. You're walking back home, silently cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket with you ; the breeze making you grit your teeth and causing goosebumps on your skin.
You hear the loud roar of a motorcycle emerging from the distance, and you despise yourself for immediately having thoughts about a certain person when the sound reaches your ears. It's the outer banks, nearly everyone has a motorcycle. Nevertheless, luck was never really on your side.
Not tonight at least.
You want to scream at the top of your lungs when you hear the vehicle slowing down, before it comes to an abrupt stop right next to your figure. You gnaw on your bottom lip as you turn to look at him; he's slowly removing his helmet, and you almost wish the face that's hiding under was a stranger. But you suppose he's a stranger anyway.
You meet icy blue eyes, silence ensues. Cold, empty, bloody silence.
You could run, curse him out, slap him across the face with as much power as you can hold. Why are you frozen?
"It's late." The silence is broken by his deep voice ; you can hear it ever so slightly breaking out, "You shouldn't be walking alone."
Your mouth parts as you stare at him, "I'm fine." Your voice is quiet, the wind roaring louder. You stare at the way his Adam's apple bops as he thinks of a reply.
"What are you doing out here?" You hate that you your mind has fooled you to believe there's a hint of concern hidden in his tone. He doesn't care, he doesn't care, he doesn't care.
You stare at him for a moment, mindlessly. You open your mouth, "You left." You spit the combination of words out. You're not even sure if your statement hints towards the night that occured recently, or him leaving your life two years ago. You don't even bother to elaborate, whatever conclusion he draws will have the exact same outcome.
You can immediately tell your words startle him from the way the muscles in his jaw flex and tense. He sighs, scratching his jaw slowly "I didn't want to wake you up."
So,he picked the first version.
His words ring through your ears , your expression turning into something a lot more bitter. You immediately shake your head ; your feet are already making the first steps back to your path , "Goodnight, Rafe."
You feel a strong hand wrapping around your wrist, your body coming to an abrupt stop as the sensation of his touch courses throughout your entire body. You want to scream as loud as you can.
You don't turn your body around, he doesn't lessen his hold, none of you speak for sometime; probably filtering the gravity of your situation, from both sides of the story.
"I meant it." His words are spoken in a whisper, "All of it, every single word, I meant all of it."
Your throat instantly clogs up and your chest tightens as the ambiguous words sink in. I meant all of it. What did he mean? What is he referring to? The night he left you? The night of the thunderstorm? The night he told you he was in love with you? The night he came to your house drunk after years?
Rafe has said so many different things, and you could him to ask to elaborate, to be more specific on whether he still loves you the way he did or he despises your guts like he's supposed to.
You think you're allowed to be selfish for once in your life, you're not obliged to be Rafe Cameron's emotional punchbag, not when you're still frozen , not when you're still stuck at the place where he left you.
"Goodnight, Rafe." You repeat quietly, your hand slowly slipping out of his hold as you walk away.
He doesn't follow you, and - for the first time - you're glad he doesn't.
~
Your teeth forcefully grit together as your hand gently rests itself on the area between his shoulder blades ; groans spill from his lips like a robust waterfall as he stuffs his face inside your toilet bowl, his body limp and frozen on your cold tiles.
Your hand gently caresses his broad back, your legs tucked under you and your bottom lip drawn between your teeth. "You're okay, it's okay." You whisper words of comfort as Rafe empties his whole stomach inside the bowl, your other hand moving to pull his curtain bangs away from his eyes.
He hoarsely coughs out the last drops  , breathing heavily as he moves his head away and lazily rests it on the toilet seat. You immediately scrunch up your nose at the sight, before gently moving your hands to cradle his head. "Come on." You whisper gently, moving his head right side up.
Groans spill from his lips at the change of position , lazy blinks directed at your face. You sigh quietly as you lift up the wet cloth you were holding and begin softly dapping at his mouth to clean him up.
Rafe hums contently, instantly leaning into your touch. You ignore the feeling of adoration bubbling in your chest at his sweet face, instead pulling the cloth away. "I can't lift you up,can you stand?" You whisper softly, sliding your fingers through his hair. Rafe mumbles a short response, nodding his head as he grips the marble of the toilet bowl to stand up. His legs are inevitably wobbling, and you  snake an arm around his waist to assist in steading him.
When he's stable, you slowly begin walking him towards your bedroom, softly kicking the door open with your foot.  You stumble a few times, barely managing to not tumble to the ground before you reach the bed. You slowly lay his broad body atop it, he lands with a soft hum.
You let out a soft sigh, before sitting right next to him. His eyes are closed, chest heaving up and down peacefully. You grab another wet cloth, scooting closer to him. You softly run the cloth down his face, wiping the sweat away carefully and offering him a sense of refreshment.
"Mhm," soft hums of pleasure leave his lips, his eyelids softly dropping open. The sides of his mouth quirk up in a soft smile. "You're so pretty."
Your teeth dig into your bottom lip to conceal your small smile; an odd tightening sensation occuring in your stomach at his words. "Sit up." You reply instead, bending forward to drop the cloth on the bedside table and grab the filled glass of water.
He groans quietly, but eventually obeys and slowly sit up. You hand him the glass carefully , his hand slightly shaky as he grips it. You watch as he downs it, grimacing slightly but knowing you'll possibly scream at him if he denies it.
You place the now empty glass back on the bedside table; he stares at you, giddily. You softly cradle the back of his head as you push him to lay back down on your fluffy pillow.
"No-" he suddenly speaks up, making your eyebrows immediately furrow at his words. "No?" You inquiry, utterly bewildered. He immediately shakes his head, groaning at his own action from the dizziness before he carelessly plops his head on your lap.
Your breath hitches at the action; you stare for a moment, dumbfounded and bewildered before he speaks up. "Better." He mumbles, tilting his body so his face is looking up at you. You stare down at him, at his silly expression that's stretched into a bright grin. "You're so pretty." He repeats slowly.
You shake your head, before moving your hand and tamely running it through his soft locks. He hums quietly, tilting his face to the side and nuzzling his nose against your hand. Your heart rapidly fills with warmth at the sweet sight, the side of your mouth quirking up.
"You need to stop drinking so much, I'm worried about you." You whisper softly, still playing with the mess on his head. "Do you promise me, Rafe?"
His pretty eyes gaze into yours , the pale colour reminding you of the tranquility that can only be found in the deep, blue waters. You've always loved the sea.
Instead of a reply to your question, Rafe merely smiles lazily. He lifts his hand, thumb softly grazing your pouty, plush bottom lip. "I'm so in love with you, you're the only one who cares."
I'm so in love with you , you're the only one who cares .
I'm so in love with you , you're the only one who cares .
I'm so in love with you , you're the only one who cares .
You wake up with a strangled gasp , your chest heaving up and down and your hair clinging to your forehead from the sweat that had gradually accumulated there. Your heart is beating inside your ears, as you filter your surroundings.
It is not the first time you had dreamt of that night,nor would it be the last. Alas, it usually drifted from what had actually occurred; your dreams are rarely accurate, anyway.
This time, every small and insignificant detail was so chillingly on point that you felt as if you were reliving the memory; that you were reliving that night, that you were reliving the moment he told you how he felt.
It's raining again; the thunder roaring in the distance and the raindrops rapidly falling against your living room windows. You had accidentally fallen asleep on your couch, a trashy show playing on your TV.  Your nails dig into your palms as you bring them to your eyes, elbows resting on your knees as you groan. Will you ever be okay?
The sound of the thunderstorm is excessively loud, yet not loud enough to drown out the sound of rapid knocks on your wooden door. Your eyebrows instantly scrunch together, before a wave of realization washes over you. The skies are dark and the rain is pouring, there's only one person that would ever ignore that. Your feet mindlessly lead you to the door.
When you unlock the door a wave of rain hits you, making you huff. You meet icy blue eyes under wet curtain bangs; you immediately grab his hand to pull him Inside,not postponing it or filtering your action.
No words are spoken as you hurry towards the bathroom, grabbing a clean towel and scurrying back towards the living room. You throw it to him, irritation bubbling inside your veins.
He catches it immediately, leaning forward to dry his wet hair. You stare at him, trying to comprehend the fact that Rafe Cameron is currently standing in the middle of your living room, drying himself with your towel and he doesn't look drunk.
"What are you doing here, rafe?" You whisper,a peculiar feeling of anger rising inside your chest. "I doubt you randomly decided to drive through the south side of the island during a fucking thunderstorm."
He immediately freezes at your words, discerning the bitterness behind them. He lets out a soft sigh as he drops the wet towel on the couch, lifting his gaze to meet your eyes. He breathes through his nose, "I wasn't." He speaks up, "I wanted to see you."
Your nose scrunches up, teeth digging into your bottom lip until you can practically taste blood. "Are you drunk again?" You can't help but spit out the first sentence that comes to mind.
Rafe breaths out slowly, "I'm not drunk, Y/n." Your arms come around to loosely hug your waist as his words sink in. You stare at him for a short moment, before letting out another sigh. "Why are here then?"
He stares at you, desperately attempting to meet your gaze. Your eyes remain fixed on the ground by his feet. He sighs. "My thoughts are drowning me."
Your eyes narrow at the ground, before you lift them up. "Your thoughts are drowning you?" Your repeat his own words back to him, quietly.
His nostrils slightly flare before he nods, "They are." He breaths out, "I've tried to escape them all these years, and I was doing fine-  " he takes a deep breath, "Before you showed up at my front door."
You don't reply, but you can feel the way your manicured nails dig into your bicep.  He immediately sighs, shaking his head. "Please say something." his voice is nothing but a weak whisper, it makes your chest ache.
You breathe out slowly, "What do you want me to say, Rafe?"
He immediately shakes his head in response, "Anything." He breaths out, "Scream at me, curse me out, throw a fucking book at my head -" his voice croaks , "Just, please - don't be as silent as you are in my dreams."
Your breath hitches at his words, the dream you had before he showed up practically taunting you in your head. He had dreams about you?
"I don't want to do that anymore." You croak out a reply quietly, "I don't want to hurt you anymore, it's pointless - "
"But I deserve it!" He instantly interferes , stepping a slight bit closer to you. "I deserve your anger, I deserve every bit of it." He whispers, his eyes pleading in the gloomy room. "I'm a horrible person, y/n."
You immediately shake your head, your arms falling back to your sides, "Rafe, you don't have to say -"
"I regret everything." He interferes again before you can finish your sentence, "Do you know how many nights I've spent dreaming of your face the night I told you to leave me alone?  " He whispers, and you desperately want to scream.
"Rafe - " you whisper breathlessesly , if only he knew how many times you've dreamt of the same night.
"I always tried to do everything right by - by him."  When Rafe speaks those words, he looks exactly like the small child he once was, the one that was craving his father's love.
Because you instantly know what he means , who he's referring to. You knew from the moment he let you go that his father had played a big part in it , that he had pulled certain strings. Rafe was a child that needed love, the same child that is still in him and begging to be healed.
You can feel your anger diminishing little by little , until all you can feel is remorse. You don't speak yet, he continues .
"He told me - he told me that I have  responsibilities as his son." He whispers ,  " - and that I've reached the age where I should start owning up to them. " He adds, fingers anxiously running through his messy hair. "Our image was one of them."
You don't interfere, instantly understanding that he's spilling out everything he has bottled up for god knows how long. He takes a deep breath ;  his hands coming up to rub his eyes fiercely, "this is so stupid - it's so fucking stupid." He whispers , and your heart immediately cracks. "He - he told me that being seen with people like you shows my value." You could barely decipher his glassy eyes in the gloominess of the night, "and he told me that's not what we - as a family - stand for."
The distance between you has diminished as your legs slowly move towards his broken frame. His body is slightly hunched over, his hands finding their way back to his eyes. "I'm so sorry, y/n."  his voice is quiet, "I'm so sorry, so sorry."
You can't physically see the tears pouring from his eyes , but the croaking of his voice serves as an indication, a broken indication. This is the moment that you have been eagerly waiting for years. Rafe Cameron is in a vulnerable position, he's driven by pain; the most malicious feeling. You finally have the upper hand, you can exploit the situation, you can make him drop to his fucking knees and beg till his throat goes raw and his knees start bleeding. You can cause him the pain you so desperately wish you could cause him since that horrible night.
You can do it  - god - you should do it.
You take a single step before your hands gently grip his wrists, moving them away from his puffy eyes. In the next second your arms gently snake themselves around his neck, face burying itself into the crook of his neck . He freezes for a mere second before his own arms tightly wrap around your waist, bringing your bodies together.
It has been years since Rafe Cameron cried in your arms. Yet, as you feel the tears falling against your hair and you shake as his body rakes with sobs ; you suppose nothing really changed. He's still the same broken boy that yearns for comfort and you're still the same loving girl that will provide him it. Always.
"It's okay, Rafe." You whisper comfortingly, one hand coming up and raking through his messy hair. "It's okay,I understand." Another sob is given as a reply, you feel him shake his head against your hair.
"You're an angel."  He whispers against the top of your head, his hand slowly running up and down your back in a comforting manner. "The sweetest angel."
Your breath hitches against his throat, and you slowly move your head back to meet his eyes. Pain, there's so much of it. Your hands are shaking as they move to his cheeks, ever so slightly grazing them to wipe away the tears. He immediately leans into your touch like a starving cat, his eyelids falling closed.
You're an angel.
"I meant it." Your body is taken back to that night on the beach, when he uttered those same words rather ambiguously. You remember being desperate for an elaboration but selfishly not asking for one. You suppose you'll receive it today.
His eyes are boring into yours now, the prettiest shade of blue; even when they're puffy and broken.  "I knew exactly what I was saying when I told you I was in love with you." Your heart practically jumps out of your chest at the sound of his words, mouth parting.
"I know it, because I've never felt it for anyone else, nor will I ever feel it." He continues, lowering his face. " My heart became yours the moment you hurt your knee at the playground." Your eyes sting at the sweet memory of your first encounter.
Rafe doesn't stop there, instead bringing a hand to push a strand of hair away from your face as he continues. "I searched for you in everyone else,do you know that?" You're staring at him, not able to form a single fucking word.
Rafe smiles rather sadly, "That girl you saw me at the party with?" He whispers softly, "I know you saw me, my chest tightened the moment our eyes met." You gnaw on your bottom lip at the bitter memory.
"She had your eyes, hair and almost had your smile." He whispers, before shaking his head "Almost ." He repeats, gaze falling to your plush lips . "I couldn't look into her eyes though, that would only remind me that she wasn't you."
Your eyes sting further at that, and you cannot comprehend the amount of emotional information you were given. Because what is actually happening? You immediately shake your head, not knowing what to do or how to act.
"I would trade the touch of a million women if it meant I could look into your eyes everyday." Your heart swarms with warmth at the sweet words, and you genuinely want to scream.
"Rafe." You finally find the strength within you to speak up. "Do you understand what you're saying?"
He gazes into your beautiful eyes for a moment, his hand continuing to caress your back. "I'm saying what I should have said years ago." He whispers softly, "What I should have said before letting you walk out of my life like you weren't the best thing to ever happen to me."
Your breath hitches again, fanning his pouty lips due to the close proximity. He slowly runs his fingers through your hair, "If you tell me to fuck off , to never speak to you again, I'll completely understand." He elaborates after a beat of silence. "I just - I see you  in my mind all the time and I- I can't even think properly when I know you hate the person I've become." He whispers , eyes never leaving yours.
Silence ensues.
"Please,say something." His tone is nothing but yearning and pleading. "Please."
Instead of providing him with a verbal response, you find yourself balancing on your tippy toes as you gently place your lips on top of his, knocking the air out of his own lungs. The hand that was caressing your back falters for a moment , before it tightly wraps around your waist as the other moves to cradle your jaw. When Rafe starts moving his lips against yours, your mind turns hazy and foggy.
Your first kiss is languid and slow ; your hands are gently running through his locks as he softly grips your hips. You suppose you should have said something more instead of silencing him with your mouth. You also suppose that actions speak louder than words.
"Tell me this is real." He whispers against your lips, his nose slowly nuzzling against yours. The corners of your mouth lift immediately, receiving one in return when he feels it against his own.  "Fully healing is going to take time." You whisper softly, your lips grazing his as you talk. "But this is real."
Rafe's heart immediately swarms with warmth at your words ; they're almost like a bandage, slowly covering each and every cut that was causing his heart to bleed. The ice around his eyes gradually melts away, because the light of his life has returned.
He tilts your chin up, his face brightening up after what feels like forever. "We'll heal eachother." He whispers gently, before reconnecting your lips.
Time seems to slow down after that, your hands are gently tugging at his hair as he languidly slips his tongue into your mouth. Your breath hitches as he slides it against yours, your tummy blossoming with newborn butterflies.
You don't know how much time has passed in eachother's mouths before you're pulling away and wrapping your hand around his wrist. His eyebrows scrunch in confusion; the feeling immediately washes away when you begin walking him towards the direction of your bedroom. He remembers where it is, this house used to be his own.
His body covers yours like a blanket the moment you lay yourself on your soft mattress; his lips immediately search yours again as your hands slide across his broad shoulders. He pulls away after a moment, only to pepper your face with small kisses. You let out a soft giggle as he showers you with adoration, his lips quirking up at the beautiful sound.
"You're gorgeous." He whispers against your jaw before his mouth moves lower , nose snuggling against your bare neck. When he begins sucking and nibbling, you can do nothing but moan at the sweet sensation, hand slowly caressing the back of his head.
"You sound so sweet." Your pajama shirt has been discarded to the floor, his lips moving over your breasts languidly. He closes his mouth around a nipple, softly sucking on it and causing small whimpers to fall from your lips. "Oh-"
He smiles softly, before his lips slowly trail lower. He plants soft kisses on your stomach as he makes his way down, "My pretty girl." He hums softly, moving his fingers to hook on the edge of your shorts. "Lift your hips."
You immediately obey, assisting him in removing your pajama shorts. You expected to feel embarrassed under his gaze, but you feel nothing short of appreciation. He smiles at you, before moving back between your legs.
Both of his hands move to grip each thigh, his face moving forward only to plant a soft kiss against your lace covered core. A gasp instantly falls from your parted lips at the sensation, before you feel his fingers tracing the edge of your white panties. He looks up at you instantly, "Can I?"
Your reply is in the form of a nod and before you know it , your panties are pulled down your legs and your thighs are moved to his shoulders. The first lick is slow and tentative, your mouth dropping open on a moan.
He hums in pure appreciation as his hands grip the warm flesh of your thighs, his tongue moving in circles against your clit. He moans against you, his movements speeding up. "Rafe - oh-!" You can merely moan, back arching off the bed prettily.
"Sweet thing." He whispers against your heat, "My sweet girl, my girl." His words are enough to make you see stars, thighs clenching around his head. He groans at the sensation , combined with the feeling of your hands gripping his roots tightly to ground yourself.
It doesn't take you a long before you feel the tightening sensation in your lower tummy, and your moans only grow more desperate. It's incredible that Rafe senses your desperation immediately, keeping up his movements but accompanying them with his deep voice. "Come for me ,baby, please."
When the feeling washes over you, your toes curl on his shoulders and your mouth chokes out a scream of his name. He receives all of it with a hum, hand softly caressing your thigh as he places wet kisses up to your mouth.
"You're so perfect, taste so perfect." He whispers lovingly , his messy lips finding yours yet again . You whimper against his mouth, teeth biting his bottom lip desperately.
You're too hazy from your orgasm to comprehend anything as you reach for your bedside table, a condom package secured in your palm. His clothes are on the floor in what feels like seconds , and your naked skin is now plastered together. Your legs are tightly wrapped around his waist as he whispers questions of reassurance against your pretty lips.
"I want you, Rafe." Your sweet voice is enough to guide his hips forward , both of you gasping in response. His blue eyes stay locked on yours the entire time your bodies are moving, your mouth agape on a gasp as he presses soft kisses against your face.
"I love you" you whisper quietly after a while, your nails scratching down his toned back eagerly. He hisses at the sensation , hips bucking forward abruptly. When your words register , his heart blooms with adoration. He accelerates the movement of his hips ; his lips moving to taste yours again. "I love you." He whispers back to you, "I love you." He repeats, both of your moans getting louder as you get closer to the brink of sweet relief. "I love you, angel -" both of you gasp, before his body stills.
And as you're breathing inside each other's mouths, sharing words of love and reassurance, you realize that you're both a mess, a beautiful mess of utter chaos.
But you found your way back to eachother; whatever the implications might be , you're willing to face them together. Always.
Always and forever.
~
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its-avalon-08 · 1 month
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it all fell down (ln4)
part5
multipart story! part1 part2 part3 part4
✦ pairing - lando norris x female reader
summary : lando norris and y/n were friends for 20 years, fell in love and dated for five. until it all fell down. they left each others lives abruptly and never spoke again, until they met again in the most unexpected way. can they find their way back or will certain scars never heal?
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Y/N entered her apartment and closed the door behind her, the weight of the evening pressing down on her like a suffocating blanket. She leaned against the door for a moment before sliding down to the floor, her body wracked with sobs. The regret of her harsh words to Lando gnawed at her, the echo of "maybe dating was a mistake" ringing painfully in her ears.
As tears streamed down her face, memories of their time together flooded her mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of what they had lost. She remembered the first time he told her he loved her, his voice trembling with sincerity.
"I love you, Y/N. I can't imagine my life without you," he had said, his eyes filled with an emotion so pure it had taken her breath away.
She saw them dancing in the living room of their shared apartment, the music soft and the lights dim. They had swayed together, wrapped in each other's arms, the world outside forgotten.
"You're my everything, Lando," she had whispered, resting her head against his chest. "Promise me we'll always be like this."
"I promise," he had replied, kissing the top of her head. "Always."
But then the memories turned darker, the shadows of their eventual breakup creeping in. She recalled the fights, the misunderstandings, the way they had slowly drifted apart despite their best efforts to hold on. The final memory hit her like a punch to the gut—their last, heartbreaking argument.
"Why can't you just understand my goddamn situation?" Lando had shouted, his voice filled with frustration and pain. "This isn't working anymore, Y/N. We're tearing each other apart goddammit."
"And whose fucking fault is that?" she had shot back, her own voice shaking with anger and hurt. "You’re the one who changed, Lando. You stopped caring, stopped trying. You just gave up and you have the genuine audacity to even tell me that "we're tearing eachother apart". Fuck that Lando, you are hurting me, what are you not fucking understanding?"
"I can't do this anymore Y/N. I just can't. You never even try and understand my situation. You have such high fucking expectations and you just want me to go with it.," he had said, his voice cold and final. "Maybe it’s better if we just end it."
"Fine," she had spat, her heart shattering into pieces. "Go. Just go."
The memory of his retreating back, the sound of the door slamming behind him, was like a knife twisting in her heart. The pain of their breakup was still as raw as it had been that night, the wounds never fully healing.
"I didn’t mean it," she whispered to the empty room, her voice breaking. "I didn’t mean it, Lando. I’m sorry."
The weight of those words crushed her, and she cried even harder. "Why did it have to end like this?" she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Why couldn’t we make it work?"
She hugged her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth as the pain of their lost love consumed her. "I still love you, Lando," she sobbed. "I never stopped."
She buried her face in her hands, the weight of her regret crushing her. The love they had shared, the promises they had made, all felt like distant, unreachable dreams now. As she sat there, alone and heartbroken, she realized that despite everything, she still loved him. And the thought that she might have lost him forever was almost too much to bear. The echo of her tears and her own heartache filled the silence, a haunting reminder of the love they had lost and the words they could never take back.
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taglist ---> @misspygmypie @kol67-t @sltwins @f1fantasys @sarx164 @imboredway2much @demandealalune e @elz-xo o @bellelovesharryy @hey-there9-its-me @marauders-wife
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justadeadreaper · 2 months
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This is part three (and the final part) of what König does before his long deployment. Do not worry; unlike the first part, this is pure fluff. I did have an idea for a bittersweet version and a smutty version, so if you want that, just tell me.
When König returns from his deployment, he has to make it a spectacle. König had decided not to tell you that he was returning home, neglecting to send you any notification that you would soon be reunited and in one another’s arms once more. He wants to see the overwhelming joy on your face when you realise he is here with you and alive.
He sits in the first class seat he booked so no poor souls have to be squished into a seat next to him and because his huge size is uncomfortable due to the virtually non-existent legroom and how he can barely fit into the seat. It may be more pricey, but at this point, he does not give a shit at all, he does not want to interact with any other being except for you, and he knows he will blow up on anyone that slightly annoys him since the adrenaline is still somewhat in his system and the exhaustion has made him irritable. He uses the isolation and the comfort of the bed to think of you, as now you completely fill every crevice of his brain, and even his dream is of you in his arms once he is finally lulled into sleep. But, when he was awake, he thought of what he could do to show you how much he had missed you as he knows that it needs to show how sorry he is for leaving you by yourself for so long. 
His first stop after collecting his luggage and paying off the airport staff to let him bring in his collection of trinkets and not alert the authorities of contraband is his favourite florist. The small shop is tucked into a dodgy alleyway as it acts like a light in the darkness with all the colourful flowers in the window; it is run by a sweet old lady that König had met when he had first moved to the city and always treated him like a son when he came in to buy flowers for his mutter and oma. He trusts her completely as he asks her to make him a bouquet that features your favourite flowers with other flowers that complement their colour and meaning with decorations and decorations that are either plushies or ornaments on sticks that fit the colour theme she is going for. He always pays her an extremely big tip that is enough to cover her expenses for a few months to show his appreciation before he goes to his next destination. Of course, it is your favourite bakery, so he can get you all the sweet or sour treats he knows you like to try and make up for not being there and making you his own treats from all the family memories he has crammed into that oversized head of his. The staff knew him and his order off by heart from the multiple times he had come there to get you baked goods whenever you were craving them, feeling sad, or the two of you had argued, and he needed a way to show he was sad and sorry for your fight and what he had done. By the time he got to the counter to pay, they already had his order summed up and ready to pay, as half of it was already put into the bag.
With his collection complete he finally takes the journey back home to your cabin to see and touch you again. He does not bother to knock as his arms are filled with bags of gifts, and he quickly scrambles with his keys to unlock the door and get inside. Would he prefer to shower or pass out right out on top of you from exhaustion? Yes. But seeing your face at his return is the only thing spurring him on to last for a few hours at least. 
Your face is something that he can not describe with the raw emotions on your face but it is something he would willingly give up all the treasures in the world to see again with how it makes him feel so loved and happy. He tries to quickly put everything down without damaging anything so you can run into his open arms, and he can wrap his arms around your frame to give you the tightest bear hug known to man. König keeps you there for a good few minutes to bask in your scent and touch that he has so dearly missed. Once the two of you part for a few minutes to catch your breaths, he is already dragging you to the couch so he can sit down with you and gift you anything he brought back. If there are any living animals, he will obviously give them to you first, whether it be a toad that he stopped his colleagues from turning into target practice or a small orange cat that dared to hiss and climb up his leg to attack when he was scouting a village that had just been raided or something entirely different that he somehow snuggled back without being bitten to shit. Then he will take out all the trinkets, from the souvenirs to the grim, for you to look over and decide on what you will do with them as he asks you to tell him everything you have done in his time gone and how much you have missed him. He loves hearing your voice as you detail every single event from the minuscule to the major that has happened without him by your side; he may be upset that he missed everything, but the way you recount it is enough for him as with your voice it is enough for him to feel like he is there with you. He asks you to admire and tell him what you will do with the trinkets as he goes into the kitchen to make you some of his homemade hot chocolate (the use of the different types of milk and chocolate make it so decedent and sweet in just the right way when paired with the homemade cream, whipped cream, and marshmallows) while he continues to listen to you ramble about his gift like honey to his ears. Once you have your drink to eat with your treats, he forces you to lie down on the couch so he can lie on top of your chest with his head above your heart to listen to the drum of your heart as if it was a soothing lullaby. König keeps his arms tightly wrapped around you as your hands move to stroke them through the stands of his hair and massage his scalp a bit, just hearing you talk and being wrapped in your touch is enough to lull him asleep as he is finally at peace and happy.
The next day, you wake up to him gone, and once you adventure to the kitchen, you find him making bunny and heart-shaped pancakes with berries, ice cream, and syrup that he uses to give the pancakes details. When you try to sit down at the table that now hosts the flowers from yesterday in an ornate vase, he reprimands you and forces you to go upstairs and into your bed so that he can serve you breakfast in bed and cuddle you as you eat like a clingy puppy whose owner has been gone for a few days on a business trip. With your morning filled with cuddles, he drags you into the shower so that you can shower together, but also so he can have your hands massage the soap into his body to clean him while getting rid of the pesky knots that never seemed to go when he massaged himself. Of course, he also has to wash you in return and have his hands all over your body and have a few cheeky squeezes. When you are both clean and dressed, he insists that the two of you must go out for the day as a date and that you can go anywhere you want and buy as much as you want with the bonus he got for doing such an effective job on the mission. Even if he is sore and achy and should most definitely be staying home for the day he insists he is fine to go out until you agree with him and let him take you out for the whole day.
Once you are back home, he says a small white lie about how he forgot to get some produce that he needed tomorrow for when he did his meal prep for his workouts; with him in his rough state, it is obvious that you offer to go out to a local village or town to get whatever he needs. König agrees, knowing it would take an hour or two at least, which is enough time to enact his plan. With you off to get whatever he bullshitted and said he needed, he gets out all the vegetables and meat he had prepared earlier before he started making your breakfast so he would have them ready for tonight. He starts cooking one of your favourite dishes while he sets up the table with your favourite candles and cutlery to try and make a candle-lit dinner to be proud of; he pulls out everything he has, from fairy lights to fake vines to set the mood just right for when you get back. By the time you return with what he sent you out for, the table is set with the food served, and he is sitting there ready as a König-made version of your favourite meal ready on the plate for you with a glass of your favourite alcohol. He talks to you through your whole home date as you are filled with the absolutely delicious dish and you have to stop yourself from jumping at him to kiss him to death from thankfulness. Now that the night is over and both of you are full he carries you upstairs to your bedroom and helps you undress to just your skin before you both slip into the bed and fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms.
König is filled with true happiness and love now that he is with his beloved once more and the pit of anxiety has been replaced by relief as he thought you would have moved on and fallen out of love with him in his time gone. If he could, he would stay in this moment for the rest of eternity as he stays in your arms in complete bliss that only you and being together can bring him; he just prays he never has to go on a long deployment again and can stay right by your side for the rest of eternity with your love and the happiness it brings him.
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