#it's just not the same during a lockdown :')
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The whole day I was thinking of Shinji with darker skintone 🥴
#i swear i used the same color palette from my other art for minako's skin tone#its just shinji's skin is darker than her here and made her look lighter lol#ANYWAY i love shinji with tan skin ahdhdksusk just that it doesnt really fit the idea of him i had in mind#i dont want him to be pale but like i prefer his skin to look sickly because....he is sickly#like this boy doesnt get enough nutrients and food he looks awful#also he is actually totally me during lockdown i turned 3 shades lighter from lack of sun exposure its insane#get him some vitamin gummies and tan lotion please-#asukart#00s highschool au#persona 3#persona 3 reload#persona 3 portable#persona 3 femc#kotone shiomi#minako arisato#shinjiro aragaki#shinjiham#foolmoon
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when you take into account that I was battling severe brain fog for much of the Pandemic Lockdown Years that seriously hindered my ability to write complete sentences for a big chunk of the time... well, I just gotta say, I actually managed to put some darn amazing Utterson/Jekyll oneshots out there back then.
#or I guess mostly Utterson/Hyde but for me it's really all one and the same#just reread some of my 2021 and 2022 stuff and tbh it slaps#just thought that you should know I guess!!#I even created an OC during the lockdowns. Utterson's uncle Abraham whose only purpose is to gift him various weapons in different stories#anyway. yeah. still stuck with these particular brainworms. what about it#JH meltdown
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Fernando S2E1 - "You'd Better Hope I Don't Win"
#i hate the title of this ep!!! it makes sense in the context but at the same time YES I DO HOPE YOU WIN BABYGIRL!!!!#hes so cunty in these gifs.....like the first one on the left with him rolling his eyes#he looks good in blue tbh!!!#but this ep mostly hurt me hahaha#like sir please i cannot see you fail with mclaren again#but its all fine bcs i live in the current time where he has 7 podiums so alles gut in the end :D#ALSO WHY CANT THAT BE ME IN THE LAST GIF!!! I JUST KNOW FOR A FACT HE GIVES GOOD HUGS#ahhh it sucks this season is during the covid era. i feel like its mostly gonna be domestic lockdown era stuff and then getting back into f#i love s1 bcs he just does so much in it and achieves so much#i feel like this one is kinda just the prequel to whatever his appearances are in dts s3 and s4 ksjflsd#as always: sir pls i would so much rather see your docu cover the events of f1 rather than dts#fernando alonso#fernando(show)#fernando s2e1#fa14#formula 1#formula one#f1#we do a little bit of f1
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They learn quickly that the monsters are sensitive to sound.
He gets used to talking quietly. To always watch his step and always be aware of his surroundings. Someone had the idea to raid the schools and communicate exclusively using blackboard and chalk. Hawkins has never been so silent, but that doesn't bother him too much. He grew up in the silence, after all.
What bothers him is that his hands won't stop trembling. He never had the prettiest handwriting, but the chicken scratch he produces now is barely readable. Worse, he needs for-fucking-ever to write even a single word, only for it to not even look like english half the time.
He and Robin can communicate without words - he is truly convinced that they are living proof that soulmates are a thing - but with everyone else he has to struggle with the chalk, until he just gives up and starts talking less and less. If he died because he took too long writing smalltalk or pleasantries on the blackboard he would never live it down. He tries to convince himself that the grizzled-cool-silent-type suits him. With moderate success.
Although the whole town was literally transported into a different dimension, all adults seem to maintain a silent agreement to continue on as if nothing is wrong. They still go to work and they still need to pay for groceries and the holes and cracks in the streets are nothing more than inconveniences. He even overhears someone complaining about those, once. As if everything would be fine if the holes were only filled with cement. (oh gee, he wonders - silently as always, why did we never try that genius idea the last three times the upside down made an unwelcome visit). The only shop that has escaped the clutches of capitalism is the weapons shop.
He can somewhat understand it, the need to pretend that everything is fine. That it was all some collective nightmare that will fade with the dullness of day-to-day life. Doesn't mean he can't hate it. Though he doesn't take it as hard as the rest of the party.
It makes sense if you think about it. Robin, Nancy, the shitheads - they are smart, they could all actually go somewhere, do something with their lives. But him? Steve Harrington never had much of a future anyway, and his chances of making it out of this godforsaken town were always miniscule. No. What honestly bothers him more are his hands that won't stop shaking. You can't use a gun if you are unable to hold still and aim. You have a harder time being fast and quiet when everything takes twice as long if you don't want to drop anything. Even his beloved bat becomes less reliable, the swings weaker and his actual target always a few centimeters off. So yeah, his trembling hands are fucking inconvenient.
Gas and Water and Electricity stopped working. The first few months all of Hawkins stinks of rotting food until some teacher has the grandiose idea of distributing history books. This has the added bonus of giving everyone something to do that isn't "pretending not to be under constant panic". Water filters get classified under "weaponry" so that everyone has access without the mayor having to change the law again.
Once more, he doesn't mind too much. The only reason he used to turn on the TV was to feel less alone, and now the rest of the party basically lives in his house. He doesn't even mind having to walk the entire way to and from the lake while carrying buckets full of water: he will always be a jock at heart, and it is a great way to work out and be useful at the same time. His biggest complaint is once again his fucking hands. Water is precious, but his stupid arm won't stay still and it keeps spilling out of the bucket. Every lost drip feels like a stab in his heart, and the only reason he doesn't cry is because that would be an even bigger waste of water.
But the most stupid and embarrassing part is that this isn't even his first rodeo. He has been here before, he knows what it is like. Everyone else is living the same situations that he is. And still, his hands are the only ones that won't fucking stop trembling.
#most ppl in hawkins would be the type to continue their lives normally and refuse to wear masks during lockdown#so i applied the same logic to the apocalypse <3#this goes out to all the awesome ppl who have the same problem#lemme tell you writing the first draft kf this was an absolute nightmare#like there are a lot of reasons im not the biggest fan of vol 2#(besides eddie dying obvs)#but one thing i did find very cool is how the whole town got transported into the upside down#its fun to think about what that could mean for hawkins and the people there#in case it wasnt clear this is kind of an au where they just have to continue living in the upside down#you can choose if they ever make it back#or if eddie died or got turned into a vamp or whatever#stranger things#steve harrington#steve harrington drabble#stranger things drabble#pen.#stranger things spoilers#st s4#st season 4
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going to try running hades 2 on a surface pro 6 bc it's the only windows device i own
#my poor processor. i hope this thing doesnt catch on fire#the steam page says you need at minimum a 2.4ghz processor. mine is 1.6ghz 😭 by the gods i will make this work#my bf INSISTS that it'll work but idk. its a miracle it can run sims 4. i dont know if it can handle anything else#either way. I HAVE HADES 2!!! I BOUGHT IT MYSELF AND I OWN IT AND ITS MINE I HAVE HADES 2!!!!!!#theres a little folder full of all of nemesis's files and theyre all on my tablet :) just for me#also dont think me being down bad for nemesis means that meg has lost her spot. meg will always reign supreme#meg was there for me when i was single. meg was there for me during lockdown. thats a bond her and i will have forever#but with nemesis i might be married before the full game is out. so its hard to get brain damaged by her in the same way#anyways its at 41% downloaded and its taking forever so. I'll let you guys know in a bit if it works
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Magenta 🤔
#Is it just me or does anyone else feel off? As if there's some powerful fuckitry at work?#not just saying this cause ive been sick#and exclude world events and such#It's almost the same vibes I got months prior to lockdowns in 2020. Just hairs on the back of my neck standing like#“honey you might want to brace yourself shits happening”#i had this feeling too days before my gram died and during other experiences that made me look at life and people differently#i talked to some others about it and its like everyone feels it in their blood#its bizzare
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genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim
#purrs#delete later#covid19#i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill /#immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in#any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy#for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the#throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more)#disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in#ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and#healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to#school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist#anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to#access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i#HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i#need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have#that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way#it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator.#* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear#for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in#part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I#think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.
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if i was still a poet i might hv been able to do smth more poignant with this but i think the thing is tht like yk how ghosts are dead with unfinished business n tht's why they're so unhappy etc n like yeah 17 yh old me is a ghost killed before time due to pandemic lockdown occuring a few weeks b4 i turned 18 so they're trapped and they're unhappy n idk but i guess i may one day figure out how to get them the peace they need but until then or myb forever i will live with this hurt dead being inside of me and most days it doesnt particularly hurt it's just a constant weight ive grown accustomed to n myb truthfully im too attached to let it go as well but also some days she rises up n riots n throws around the furniture and punches holes in the wall and the pain is greater then but i still wont let her go bc she's me and she's just a little kid and she deserved better
#cloud nonsense#also idk the idea of the ghost of itself takes on a feminine perspective in my thoughts#not sure the memory of me takes on the same#but the ghost of itself is particularly female coded#it may also be bc my gender crisis or more acceptance as nb happened during the lockdown#but it's more just the idea of this unhappy ghost is i guess negatively stereotypically frail n female#but also like evil horror movie pale female ghost in long bedsheet image yh
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the isolation of being a mostly housebound disabled person that lives in rural area
#i mostly leave my house for doctors appointments#i go weeks without leaving my house#and i spend all my time with the same people that i have a complicated relationship with#i socialize mostly on the internet but i’m also very awkward and bad at conversation#everyone was super upset depressed during covid lockdown and it’s like that’s my everyday reality#idk it’s just really hard sometimes i feel stuck so much because it’s hard to thrive in a toxic environment#rey actually speaks
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I feel like culturally the 13 gives yaz a gun is playing different among demos on both sides of the pond.
#dw shit#for the record#if 13 had handed yaz a knife#That's the equivalent of how that scene plays over the atlantic#i have Still not forgotten the blanket statement in her first episode that only losers carry knives#a Very off tone comment for the who mood of the era#but very obvious in why its there#the obvious being how terrible the situation here is around knife crime the past few years#they would. Never. have the doctor with a knife. But sometimes they do with guns.#bc that just doesn't carry the same Thing here as it does elsewhere#it's not visceral.#most ppl here probably haven't seen a functional hand gun in person#like shotguns sure. i've seen afucktonne but i live right by a shooting range#and it was Weird during lockdown when the gunfire stopped#and people who live near military bases or have seen armed police have probably seen big automatic ones#but you really don't see many guns like what yaz had here#Or the one ten had either.#which is of course probably exactly why they got to have them in the first place#sorry... weird tangent but i've seen vastly differing reactions to this out in the wild
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guys, i think... i think that i don't handle change very well 🤯🤯 (/s)
#actually autistic#we're on day 2 of virtual school and i've already had so many meltdowns...#this is such a big change and my teachers just expect me to still function??!? how???#(i had this same problem during lockdown)#praying that we go back to normal soon bc i cant take this#personal#vent#possibly#idk tagging to be safe#times like these always remind me just how much i Need routines. it's been so hard to do anything all without being prompted by a bell#idk man this sucks
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Happy moving to Melbourne day ❤️
#took the camera with me during lockdown walks#it’s been three years#3!!!!!#how?!#fells like a million lifetimes ago and just yesterday at the same time#someone get me some lord of the fries and lune croissanterie#and my kiddos#don’t miss Melbs#but I do miss oz
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Still not over Leicester now being fined for salary cap infringement TWICE when the year they cheated they were so bad that the only reason they didn’t get relegated is because another team cheated worse than them and got relegated as punishment 💀
#this news broke. well today. so I was like huh. pls don’t be real and yet it was#well I don’t like Leicester so it’s mostly funny for me#it was also the same year they just stopped paying their players during the first lockdown without consulting them first and then they all#tried to make their own Union and lost a couple star players in the fallout ??#what a club 🤣🤣🤣#also in case this wasn’t clear enough from my wording. they were nearly relegated on merit. as in they were just bad#the club that cheated worse got relegated bc they had points deduction as punishment for MASSIVE break
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If you don't use your library's Libby and Hoopla collections, you run the risk of losing that access. Your library will see the low numbers and think "no one is using this service and we need to save money so let's get rid of it". I am saying this because at the library I work at, the collections team reduced the number of books you can check out each month for Hoopla. They reduced the amount by more than half - 25 to 10 - all because people weren't using it at the same capacity they were during lockdown.
Digital collections are expensive yes but when libraries are able to show the library board or city that their services are highly sought after and used in large numbers, that aids in arguing for increasing the budget - or at least keeping the budget where it's at.
Whatever your opinion on pirating is, you are doing not a single person favors by not using library resources just because you have a misunderstanding in how it actually works.
#libraries#we even stopped our digital chat service bc it was barely being used & they wanted to save more money even tho it was a measly 1200$ per yr
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maybe I just pull tarot cards to plot out the shapeshifter wip huh
since it's not fucking giving me anything otherwise
#talkin' malarky#''oh it's so not going to be a wip right''#so I'm a fucking liar#there's a high chance I won't it's probably just gonna continue being disconnected scenes until I've written so many of them#like I do know the basic plot but none of the nuance#I just haven't pulled tarot to plot anything for a while#not since the cyoa set I was writing for work during lockdown#shapeshifter wip#THERE it has a tag#same vibes as superhero twins#neither of them have a full title#(the separate sh books very much have their own titles. just not the whole set)#anyway the new year is going well so far#got thrashed at uno#got a decent 50min walk in at midnight#gonna play bg3 with my flatmate for the rest of the day
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All I have to do is survive the work day in the morning and then I have a nice 5 day vacation waiting for me on the other side lmao
I do not plan to set a single toe in that building during my vacation either. Not unless absolutely necessary. I've been looking forward to this day for so long 😭 I'm in dire need of a break from customer service bullshit.
#pigeon screeching#I'm so excited though. i probably won't do anything exciting during my vacation but I look forward to being away from customers for a bit.#register work can be... a lot. incredibly grating and i feel like maybe i just can't handle people quite the same as when i first started#working there. i dunno what happened after lockdown but like... people are just different now.#i also feel like i just get more... overwhelmed? i guess? more easily. and when I'm overwhelmed i get irritated.#i don't like feeling so irate all the time. it's exhausting and i get shaky.#I'm like a weird little Chihuahua. i get angry shakes lmao
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