#it's just me wondering if I'm capable (and I am)
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Oh, no PROBLEM, life happens, and I'm just glad you're doing better!
And it's never too late to pick fun things back up. I had to dig around for the notes i made for the next bit of this, and then re-read it over, because it HAS been a year! XD
SO, okay, a part 7!
YES, I am SO GLAD the way Frodo is NOT having a great or easy time came across! Iād hoped that would work! It can be hard, when your body changes and suddenly youāre not capable of the same stuff you were. I was trying to convey that kind of dysphoria.
Maedhros! Maedhros is HAVING A DAY. A good day! A MIRACULOUSLY GOOD DAY.
The kind of good day he can barely trust is REAL bc, lbr, he hasnāt really had a good day innnn. Um. Lets just say a long time. So this is the kind of day that has him covertly running mental checks just to make sure this is still reality. He keeps counting Maglorās freckles and running his finger tips over his horse and her tack, and the tooling on his belt and faulds just to check that the things heās seeing, and sensations he feels match up right.
He can at least throw himself into logistics a bit here, first in chivying all the escaped thralls our Intrepid (and exhausted) Heroes have been herding to safety in Himring.
Then he corrals Celegorm and Curufin. (This ended up mostly dialogue!)
Maedhros: *stares pointedly*
C&C: Err.
Maedhros: *calm and measured* I have heard what youāve been up to in Nargothrond, brothers. Rest assured, I WILL be taking that out of your hides later. For now though *points at the crowd of people filling the hall behind them* Exactly WHAT happened to do THAT?
Curufin: Honestly we donāt KNOW, Nelyo!
Celegorm: When we caught up to them, Finrod, Beren, Luthien, Huan, Tyelpe and that Annatar ner were already gone off to Angband, leaving Finrodās steward and Frodo to hold the camp.
Maedhros: *blinks* Frodo? Who? And what kind of a name is that? (Note: Frodo is WESTRON itās gotta sound SO WEIRD to the elves tbh. Heās definitely gonna get slapped with a proper elven name at some point here. Elves gotta give people extra names after all especially in the first age)
C&C: *baffled kind of shrugs*
Curufin: *glowers* The boy is SOMEWHERE in the crowd. Heās remarkably cagey for a boy who canāt be more than 80, and I havenāt been able to corner Tyelpe about him yet, but he rather looks REMARKABLY like that Annatar. And Mother. And Grandfather. (Note: Frodo probably doesnāt look quite like a teenager really, but heās so coltish in his new body, thatās coming across as youth to the elves that see him)
Maedhros blinks at that. Well. He never thought Tyelpe the sort, but, well, Curufin had been a bit smothering since theyād come to Beleriand. Heās thought Tyelpe was weathering it with more grace and patience than was usually found in their line, but maybe heād just decided to go around his father? He wouldnāt be the first in the family for that. (Note: yesss Mae, make some logical conclusions with the info you have! Compare him to you and Finno a bit! Youāre VERY wrong but itās still a good guess!)
Celegorm: Heās got one of Tyelpeās hairclips. One of the ones father made.
Maedhros: *eyebrows* Interesting. But, at this moment, irrelevant. We can sort that out later. What else can you tell me?
Celegorm: A few hours after we got there, the whole ground heaved like a shaken table cloth. Then some hours after that, Tyelpe and everyone came out of the night leading that lot *waves a hand a the hall* Tyelpe had the silmarils.
Curufin: There wasnāt really TIME to stop and ask questions. We regrouped and lit out for Himring. Luthien is TERRIFYING by the way. She provided the bulk of the power, her and that Annatar. We pitched in too but them, us, Finrod, and Tyelpe have been cycling songs of power for- *blinks* How long has it been since Angband shook, Nelyo?
Maedhros: thirteen days and nights.
Curufin: *sputters*
Celegorm: Huh. No wonder I want to sleep for a week. I havenāt done a march like that since I was with The Hunt. *waves* Anyway, we talked to a few of the thralls, and from what few who were in the throne room said, Luthien walked in all lovely and enchanting, and sang with three voices. It put Morgoth out like a fussy toddler. And then the wolves and the orcs, and even the balrogs, everything evil, dropped where they stood as well. The orcs were dead. No one checked the balrogs. Then Luthienās man climbed the throne and took the crown and passed it down to Tyelpe. Then he and Annatar left and came back with BLASTING powder and lined the place while Morgoth slept.
Maedhros: *wheezing incredulous laugh*
Curufin: Annatar said the dragons were UNDER the throne room Nelyo. All the eggs, all the breeding stock.
Maedhros: *squints* *head tilt* wait. *slow blink* How would he KNOW that? I didnāt know that, and I know Angband as well as any former thrall.
C&C: *exchanged uneasy glances*
Curufin: Weāre not sure. Finrod and Tyelpe trust him though. And, thereās Frodo. *vague hand wave* We heard some snatches of conversation, but nothing that makes much sense.
Maedhros: Right. Whereās Maglor? Nevermind, I saw him with Luthien, Iāll get them, and find Finrod. You round up Tyelpe and this Annatar fellow, and bring them up to my study. See if you can find the Frodo lad you mentioned.
Maedhros needs to corral all the important people ASAP and GET SOME ANSWERS.
Heās able to locate Maglor being charming at Luthien and Beren fairly quickly. Whereas Celegorm and Curufin look as if theyāve been on a hard march for days, Luthien, apart from the general grime of travel in the wilds, looks fresh as a daisy in may. Exactly how much power does she HAVE?? Never mind, one thing at a time. She and Beren graciously accept an invitation to a more private area. Theyāve eaten and washed a bit, same as the throng of ex-thralls, but itās VERY crowded. And They want to talk to Tyelpe, Finrod, Frodo, and Annatar too. They know more than Maedhros! But there wasnāt a LOT of time for other questions after establishing that there was some kind of time travel going on!
Tyelpe and Annatar arenāt hard to locate either. They knew this was coming. A quick wash up and food, and maybe a change of clothes, and itās on to the Next Thing.
Note: oh. Huh. I didnāt think of it before, but I wonder what Annatar and Frodo are WEARING??? Some casual Valinorin clothes? I bet they were NOT dressed for getting dropped in the past! If it was just like, vibes based, maybe some clothes Annatar thinks of as ācomfyā rather than anything either of them might have been wearing before they were dropped into the past, since their bodies were created for this unlike Tyelpe or Finrod!
Annatar reluctantly taps on Frodoās mind, and tells him Maedhros is collecting them.
Frodo, by this point, is not crying anymore, but is the kind of wrung out EXHAUSTED, that only days and days of rough travel and then a fierce crying jag will make you. Finrod almost offers to carry him, but Frodo just sets his mouth and gets up off the stone floor, doggedly putting one foot in front of the other and plodding along next to Finrod, who directs him around the crowd and into the keep proper.
Maedhros was somehow NOT expecting this Frodo child to look as much like family as Curufin and Celegorm insisted, but oh dear, if anything they understated it. He looks VERY much like the elf called Annatar. The hair, the skin, the eyes, but the other features. They were right, and Maedhros can see little echoes of his kin all over him.
Heās also swaying where he stands next to Finrod, with red eyes and tear tracks through the wilderness grime on his face. (Remember, Frodo skipped the wash up and clothes change area. Finrod too. Iām sure once they get through the first awkward conversation, someone will get them each a basin and some clean clothes!)
Maedhros makes eye contact with Finrod and jerks his chin at the soft couch set before the fireplace. Finrod takes the hint, and leads the young ner that is, in all likelihood Maedhrosās grand-nephew over and gently pushes him down on it.
Maedhros turns his attention to Tyelpe, and also Annatar. Tyelpe steps around Maedhros, and slings the crown off his torso and sets it down on Maedhrosās desk where it thuds down with a surprisingly light thump for a thing wrought of iron and misery.
Maedhros: So. Explain. Lady? This seems to have started with you?
Luthien shrugs gracefully, and sets herself down in Maedhrosās towering armchair before the fire and tells her part of the story. It is, thankfully, lacking the canon bits of C&C capturing her and being creepy assholes! Because Tyelpe stole Huan and met up with her before that could happen here!
When sheās finished with her part, with input from Beren, and Finrod, Maedhros turns and raises his eyebrows at his nephew.
Some very speaking looks are exchanged rapidly between Finrod and Tyelpe and Annatar and Frodo.
Finally Tyelpe just shrugs helplessly.
Tyelpe: Uncle, we have NO IDEA. One minute weāre in Fourth Age Tirion, the next Iām in Nargothrond and Finrod is in Sauronās Tower, and Annatar and Frodo are there too. And Frodo is an elf.
Maedhros. Blinks. And replays that. Nope. Still makes absolutely NO sense.
Maglor: ā¦ Iām sorry, what?
Tyelpe: Weāve done this before. It all went SO much worse. Annatar wasnāt there before, though, or Frodo.
Finrod: Well. Annatar sort of was. Why are there two of you now, by the way? Thatās. Kind of alarming.
Annatar: When I spoke to the One, and was changed, I was FUNDAMENTALLY changed. To hazard a guess, when thisā¦ Event happened, I was too different to integrate with my former self. He is maiar, I am elven. I came to my senses, heās still following his shining plan.
Frodo: And me?
Annatar: We share something of our spirits on a deep level. And since hobbits have not woken yet, and will not for many many years yet, I imagine this was the only way for you to have a form here and now.
Frodo: *watery chuckle* Oh. Yes I suppose that makes sense.
Please imagine Maedhros and Maglor and C&C ping-ponging back and forth here, COMPLETELY CONFUSED by this conversation. But desperately trying to add up the bits theyāre hearing into some kind of coherent narrative. Maedhros is squinting at Annatar with sudden DEEP suspicion.
Maglor: Iām sorry, can we back up a bit here? Fourth Age VALINOR????
Tyelpe: *sighs* *sits down next to Frodo* We all might as well sit down, this is going to take a while.
^__^
HEY.
I had the most interesting dream after falling asleep switching between the latest chapter of The Horrowing and a time travel fix it in another fandom. I thought you might enjoy a brief summary?
Post fic canon Annatar, Finrod, Celebrimbor, and Frodo getting the most hilarious do over of the First Age.
Finrod and Celebrimbor got dropped in their past bodies, bc same souls. Which has Finrod JUST captured by Sauron, before any of his 10 have been munched.
Celebrimbor is of course having a surreal not quite panic attack in Nargothrond.
Annatar, well. Annatar is CHANGED. He is quite literally too different from what he once was for them to qualify as the same soul anymore. Which is gratifying. If inconvenient bc there are now TWO of him, Annatar and full on Sauron. But they're similar enough that Annatar was dropped very close to Sauron.
Frodo is an elf. Dream logic was that hobbits do not exist yet, and his soul has touches of Annatar and Aman. He looks disconcertingly like a mix of Annatar and Celebrimbor, and they are NOT thinking about that right now. Hopefully ever.
Most of the dream centered around all of them doing their best to set aside freak outs, while getting Finrod and his merry band (plus Beren) OUT of Sauron's grasp.
There was a FANTASTIC moment where on the way out, Sauron comes face to face and soul to soul with Annatar and he's just like;
Sauron: *jaw dropped fully horrified face* WHAT are YOU?!?!?
Annatar: *shoving elves behind him, nose in the air* Wouldn't YOU like to know, weather boy. *uses Song to blast him through a wall while he's distracted*
The whole thing featured 10 other elves and Beren as a baffled peanut gallery.
Meanwhile Celebrimbor is weighing the pros and cons of just- drugging his uncles and shoving them in a back room somewhere where he can bolt the door. He thinks he can maybe get Huan to help if he explains?
It was SO much fun.
(hope you have a good day!)
Oh my god. This may be the best ask I've ever gotten, for so many reasons.
The fact that your subconscious was like "Yeah if Frodo's getting a new body it looks like Annatar For Some Reason"
The image of future!Annatar getting into a fight with Sauron in front of Finrod (probably happy about this development) and Beren and the other 10 (INCREDIBLY CONFUSED)
The fact that the dream was partially centered on everybody trying not to panic, which is in fact what the Harrowing is all about for a while
Absolutely incredible.
...I feel so bad for poor Celebrimbor dealing with Nargothrond all by himself while the others are off having adventures. I hope their next stop after the rescue is to swing by and pick him up. Also, I dearly want to know what Annatar has to say to Beren on the subject of his current Luthien-and-Thingol-and-Silmarils situation.
#IT LIVES#the harrowing#time travel AU#fun stuff#my writing#the silmarillion#we return to our intrepid heroes and they're tired and still have to TALK ugh#thats always terrible right?
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Since Eddie came to live with him, Wayne has seen him bring home many things.
Mainly bugs or hurt animals.
One time he brought home a skunk. Sometimes Wayne thinks he can still smell it.
But this? This is something else.
"Wayne I can explain" he says standing in theĀ doorway with a jar.
A jar that has a pixie in it.
"That jar better have holes in it, Edward.'" He'sĀ praying that his nephew didn't hurt the pixie.
Pixies have been around for centuries andĀ helping them will bring good luck. As in theĀ pixie will most likely bring you gifts.
Hurting a pixie though?
He has heard some stories that would beĀ labeled as horror if they were movies.
"Of course, it has holes in it!" Eddie says like it was ridiculous of him to ask, "I'm not stupid" Wayne thinks that is debatable but now is not the time for that.
"Yet you have a pixie in a jar" he sighs, wondering why this kid can't give him a break, "knowing what they are capable of."
"I know, I know!" Eddie says, looking down at the jar. "I just wanted to say hi, and then he attacked me! I didn't want to hurt him, but he wouldn't leave me alone!"
"So you thought putting it in a jar would make it like you," he says while getting up.
"Well no but I tried runng but he followed me"
He's going to need a beer after this.Ā
"Give me the jar," he says standing in front of his nephew.Ā
Eddie doesn't hesitate to hand it over.Ā
Wayne walks out the door of the trailer and starts opening the jar, "I apologize for my nephew, he doesn't think before he acts. He's a good kid, please don't hurt him" he takes the top off and lets the pixie fly out.
It flies in front of Wayneās face for a moment before smiling and nodding at him, then zooms off.
Wayne walks back into the trailer to grab a beer and start lecturing his nephew.
-
Over the next few weeks, Eddie sees the pixie, who he learns name is Steve, come by the trailer to give gifts to Wayne.Ā Ā
Eddie has tried to get close enough to apologize but Steve always files away the moment he sees Eddie.Ā
But he also doesn't do anything to Eddie so he guesses that Steve likes Wayne enough to leave his nephew alone.Ā
Which is good because pixies can be terrifying.Ā
"Give him some fruit," Wayne suggests after hearing Eddie complain about Steve leaving once he saw Eddie pull up to the trailer. "He really likes peaches."Ā
So Eddie cuts up a peach and puts it on a plate. He takes it outside to the bench close by and waits.Ā
Steve does eventually show up but Eddie can tell he's still cautious of him because he doesn't immediately go for the peach like he would if Wayne was the one offering it.
Eddie smiles at him and pushes the plate towards him hoping to encourage him to eat it.
Steve must have decided to trust Eddie because he dives for the peach slices.
He watches Steve eat a really small amount of the the peach, but pixies are so small it was probably a lot to him.
Once it seems like Steve had his fill of the fruit Eddie sets a napkin down next to the plate.
Steve wipes his hands and face with it. Then he just sits there and stares at Eddie for a moment.
"Thank you" the pixie says. And honestly Eddie is surprised, he didn't know they could communicate with humans.
"You're welcome" he responds, tapping his finger on the table, "I am sorry about the jar thing, I really didn't mean to hurt you"
Steve reached for Eddie's hand and placed his tiny hand on top of his finger, stopping its movement.
"Its okay" Steve smiles at him.
#pixie steve immediately likes wayne#that is the reason why he doesnt do anything to eddie#eddie is so happy when he finally gets steve to trust him#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#wayne munson#steddie#fantasy#pixies#pixie steve harrington
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all-night pharmacy.
dialogue prompts from all-night pharmacy by ruth madievsky.
you're so alive, it's scary.
being a person doesn't come naturally for me.
what's the deal with this place?
you are my best and my worst friend.
are we horrible people?
i like the idea of having someone to come home to.
i can't tell if you're being cruel or if you're just dumb.
these aren't the decisions of a well-adjusted person.
the less you know about my life, the better.
everyone here is a liar and a cheat.
you deserve to have a life of your own.
a person can't be held responsible for what they don't know.
all relationships are transactional.
no one should have that much power over you.
it isn't too late to come back.
you're uninvited from my birthday party.
i love you, but you're such a cunt.
who do you think you are?
forced intimacy makes me lightheaded.
i know you're in there. let me in.
jesus. why do you have a knife?
what happened last night?
it was less embarrassing to pretend i didn't care.
maybe i'm not the mothering type.
i wish i could carry some of this pain for you.
i need a break from feeling so much all the time.
sometimes i can't tell if i'm asleep or awake.
whatever's going on, we'll figure it out.
i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm scared all the time.
this is the most i can imagine for myself.
if you're not asking yourself 'am i ruining my life?' at least once a day, you're not living at all.
you act like you're over it, but it's okay if you're not.
all my life, i've felt like a dead animal with its skin still on.
it's a virtue to rid yourself of anything that doesn't serve you.
i've never had a day of rest in my life.
i chase after you like a dog, leaving pieces of myself behind, and every time, you act like that's how it's supposed to be.
you don't take me seriously. i'm not a real person to you.
i can't play house anymore.
never say that name in front of me.
to you, other people are always the problem.
you can't reach a mutual understanding without spilling blood.
want to make fifty bucks?
the only way to really see a person is to lose everything you have in common.
you don't think we'll get caught?
our loyalty is to story, not reality.
just don't do anything that could result in a lawsuit or a tmz article, and you're fine.
i don't have the energy to keep up with your antics.
our most beloved delusion was that lying to each other was a kind of love.
speaking our fears aloud won't save us.
one day, the mask slipped. i haven't been able to wear it since.
i try not to think about my life at all.
a junkie can spot another junkie without a flashlight.
your voice reminds me of wool sweaters.
boundaries? i don't know her.
i'm just sick of doing the same goddamn thing every day.
you are obsessed with a projection that will never love you back.
think of me as a spiritually connected friend.
i know liars. you don't strike me as one.
you have iconically poor judgment.
has anyone ever told you about your past lives?
you're capable of tolerating a lot. frankly, more than you should.
friendship can be a slow burn. you don't have to consume it like a drink at last call.
i'll give you a clue. i work for myself.
you make me want to feel things again.
criticism is still a cousin of attention.
you don't have to pretend to like something just because i made it.
i know you crave being told what to do.
you don't have to settle for being a person things happen to.
you have desires. act on them.
bitch, does this look like an intro to philosophy seminar?
i thought i had quit you.
my favorite. how did you know?
i feel like my organs are cannibalizing each other.
how did i get here? that's not a rhetorical question. i'm actually asking.
i can't tell if i believe it, or if i'm making excuses for myself.
sometimes i wonder if it's healthy how much meaning you see in things.
you're always waiting for the universe to hurt you or to love you. usually in that order.
that's how it was in my family. reading the room was a survival skill.
where will all the animals go in the rapture?
a bunch of fuckups under one roof doesn't constitute a family.
my little saint.
time passes more slowly as a sober person.
you'd better not pull away from me now.
there's a russian proverb that goes, 'so much is ruined by saying it aloud'.
you wear your emotions like a name tag.
your resting face frightens me.
how are you both the most innocent and the most experienced person i've ever met?
i need you to just be here with me.
our dead deserve to see you happy.
i like the idea of being marked by you.
i don't know what i saw, but it was more than i wanted.
i know what i saw.
i can't tell which of the memories are real, if any.
i can't believe you're mine.
nobody warned me how terrifying it is to get what you want.
you're cute when you're freaked out.
sex is supposed to be unsettling.
there are things i need to atone for.
you can't go back like it's nothing.
i won't live in service of my dead's vision for me.
___ was a real person. a murder isn't a metaphor.
count five things you can see. four things you can touch. three things you can hear. two things you can smell. one thing you can taste.
banish one god, and you'll end up worshiping another.
i want to be with you, but i don't want to keep feeling like this.
you know everything about me, but you won't let me know you.
you aren't someone i can keep at a distance.
i've been reading about intergenerational curses.
resisting something isn't the same as not wanting it.
anything you say stays between us.
i can't decide if i like you.
most people only possess a third of the empathy they think they have.
will it get easier?
hope is a tricky thing: losing it is bad, but so is having too much.
i don't want the future to come. i have a bad feeling about it.
in cartoons, you don't start falling until you look down.
why are you here? where have you been?
how did you know i'd come looking for you?
you never asked what i was going through. you didn't want to know.
i didn't have the language for what was happening to me.
you were supposed to protect me.
there's a lot i don't remember. a lot i don't want to remember.
i wouldn't have looked for me, either.
we belong to ourselves now.
you know where i am, and i know where you are. maybe that's enough.
when i'm down, vigilante justice makes me feel better.
survival is provisional.
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Did you see episode 14? Did you see Deep Bite's theme video on youtube? Deep Bite saying something towards Red Blitz like "This guy secretly had feelings for me? He's cute!" Is making me want to explode. I've been eagerly awaiting seeing your thoughts towards ep14 lol
yes to all ^_^ I'm genuinely piqued someone is eager to see my thoughts on MCB, so you get a LARGE chunk for your appreciation.
Sort of disorganized and not proof-read, apologies.
For Deep Bite's theme video:
Did he really say Blitz was cute? I mean. I want him to have.
On YT, the auto-translate was along the lines of Deep Bite thinking him soft-hearted. Nonetheless, still wanting-to-explode-inducing for me tooā¦!
I swear, his commentary mentions Red Blitz multiple times. Stop talking about him, sheesh. Joking.
For episode 14:
ā¢ Red Blitz noogie-ing Deep Blitz all scathingly is silly BUT,
if you consider that IRL sharks have super sensitive noses, no wonder Deep Bite 180'd in attitude and transformed in SECONDS. Red Blitz must have been overwhelming the hell out of the sensors concentrated there.
Or not! Discrepancies between alt-mode and robot mode, possibly there are no sensors at all, just a fun assumption on my part. But he does get awfully heated quick, it is suspicious.
ā¢ Red Blitz switches between calling Deep Bite ė¬¼ź³ źø° 'mulgogi' (living fish) and ģģ 'saengseon' (fish you eat) which is funny /sob
ā¢ When Red Blitz is downed during that one part, with Deep Bite raising an optic, the dialogue from him there is amusingā¦"is it already near your bedtime, you baby" something-something. I love the teasing dynamic going on here. Pretty Please pettily insult each other more in the future, guys
ā¢ Musclehyde and Blue Cop being a combination of curious and confusedāby the trope of fighting for friendshipāis a nice detail. I find it interesting it's not a rite of passage on Machina, considering how bots are rather eager to fight instead of discussing matters.
ā¢ I was confused as to why Deep Bite was able to move around Red Blitz in his alt-mode, or. It's that his systems interpret the steam from their clashed attack as "being in the ocean". He does not float around past that particular scene and only hops (in my defense).
ā¢ Rock Crush's giggle is so gosh-darned cute š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗand the tape-on brows Peruru pulls off later ugh. The mole analogy being stylistically animated was lovely on the team's end
ā¢ Directly quoted from my IMs
"-sad that the first thing deep bite does when he finds out people aren't afraid of him is that he goes in for an affectionate touch"
"ā¦touch-starved"
"Instantly clasps a hand on the shoulder of a stranger"
(self-explanatory)
Also, Deep Bite taking on the guise of an outlaw, and for Glober to have befriended him somewhere at that point in that time, has. many implications. you can ponder.
Maybe, Glober is the only person that Deep Bite has had affection fromā¦a tragedy that I hope fan writers for the show will touch on, too delicate to be handled by me ahaha :(
Another thing. I was amused by the fact that he laughs for so longāno one's even laughing with him after a whileābut you know what? It might have been because he's finally found a WHOLE group of people willing to accept him for him and he's exhilarated with the alien idea and thus expresses it by being so awkwardly upbeat for first meetings. I am miserable.
ā¢ Why is Blue Cop recording HAHA??>? This play is too important to Jun to not be captured. His first installment in theatre directing.
ā¢ Musclehyde's horns with the capability to pop off make me think of Chiyo Mihama pigtail shitposts. He should swap them out to celebrate Christmas, pretending to be one of Santa's 12 reindeer. It's also stylish? If you think about it?
ā¢ Deep Bite is specifically very handsome @ when the force of him pulling the crane, causes Red Blitz and Blue Cop to flip upside up?!!!?#R(U! Sigh.
ā¢ Deep Bite's tail languageā¦When Red Blitz walks away, it droops a bit together as he groans (in likely disappointment), but THE TAIL WALIGNGGG WHEN RED BLITZ ACCEPTS HIM????! UUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ok he's so cute he's also making little like. Chuffing noises here omg. Omg.
And Red Blitz' tsundere attitude. Turning his back and everything and the hands on the hips, caught red-handed when someone bugs him about being dishonest. Astonishing.
Cough, also if only Dexter's scoop was animated to show off emotion like this.
ā¢ I really do value the voice work Red Blitz' VA puts out. His voice has this roundness, it's snarky, it's nasally, it's naive, and sometimes even a bit intimidating. I'm biased. I'm not sure of the exact Hangul, though the way he was saying hurry(?) is something I enjoy; it fits his characterization well!
ā¢ Deep Bite being the second guy to peacefully submit to Jun š„ŗthe ģ ė¶ķķ“ 'jal bu-tak-hae', "please take good care of me" AUGHHHH!!!!!
Overall. Loved it. 10/10 all characters got a pleasant spotlight.
Thanks for your interest ^_^
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"No one but you just had this look, like I don't know, it affected you worse than it would have anyone else. It was the look." Could he have been talking nonsense, sure if he was anyone else but Wally caught things from her. He paid attention when he really looked at her. He gave a shrug afterwards not realizing that this wasn't the normal and it could get coughed up to just an agent doing what they did. They were paid to be detail oriented.
He really looked at her past the dress and the way she looked. All of that was nice but there was something in the way she radiated that captivated his attention. Her soft smile made his appear as he nodded and brought his glance down to his hands. "Sure," he whispered as his eyes now took deep interest in his wrist. He did wonder what it would have been like to tuck a stray hair over her ear. If this crush, no it had to have been more than that. It had been more than a few weeks and he still couldn't get her out of his damn mind. Now they were here where she was thinking he didn't believe in her capabilities.
He appreciated the fact she brought him the muffin. His eyes saw where she had put it and thanked her. Going back to what she had said he sighed and took a beat. "I'm notā" his face scrunched up slightly as he ripped the skin off the edge of his nails as he paused and breathed through his nose. "I'm not disputing that. I asked you to come because I knew what I was getting. My belief in you knowing how to do what you do was never in question. I am taking you seriously but I also worry about you. Do you know how that'd make me feel if you got killed because of me? Because you said yes to helping me out? You didn't need to accept but you did anywa. No one has ever been that selfless to help when they didn't need to. It isn't even dangerous because of these bozos out there, trust me I'd take them over my boss any fucking day. Please don't think I'm disputing the fact you can take care of yourself, I'm not. I know you can. This kid is a priority yes, but so is your well being."
His head went back to the mini trail off she did in the middle of her sentence. "Since you what?" Another sigh. "My boss, Karina." How would he even explain this whole bitch to her when he couldn't even describe her without wanting to put a fork through his eyes. "You said Nolan, right? I have a very deep rooted feeling he is a plant coming from her. That's why I think he went and touched you."
"I asked you to come because you're the best at what you do. You don't just look at things in one set ways. I need that. I didn't ask you to come because I wanted to prove I'm better or stronger than you. I don't do that bullshit. I need help and admitting that is hard enough to be honest but here it is. This kid seems like it'll be the first time we won't get her in time. This ring is three steps ahead and I can't help but think it's because they have inside help. As for the rookie by the way she vanished into thin air again. I don't think she's innocent." This was the first time he ever let his walls of having it handled down. To show that weight he actually carried around him. This was one of those moments he wanted to check himself out.
Shaking his head he didn't want her to leave. "You won't hear a peep out of me from now on. Please do what you know how to do. All I ask is that you be careful. I do actually care about your well being."
"Didn't appreciate?" The words were repeated back to herself unsure of what was happening. "Who appreciates a stranger touching them at all?" He wasn't wrong, the touch had caught her off guard and left her a bit off her game the day before. It was something that she had shaken off with last night's rude awakenings. She wouldn't make that mistake again, she'd make sure he'd make it out alive, she wouldn't let her guard down and she wouldn't let him down.
The way he shook his head at her, upset her for a moment but she had to remind herself of everything she learned since arriving here. There was so much already going wrong for him, she needed to stop being one of the things fighting against him she was here to help. Despite calling him on his previous promise, guilt knotted in her. She hated this. As he moved she started to walk over to help him like she had last night only to find herself stopping in her tracks as he looked her over. Whenever anyone looked her up and down she knew how to play, how to move and place herself to make them like what they saw, but it felt different right now. She didn't know what he was thinking. Her breath caught in her throat awaiting what he had to say, only to find herself giving him a soft smile. "Thanks."
Rolling her eyes at the cinnamon sugar comment, like she could ever forget that he was allergic to that, she began to make her way to the door. "I think I saw some in the kitchen. Let me get one for you and a cup of coffee. And then we'll talk before I head out." Before he could say anything, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. It would give her time to think over how to say things nicely.
As the coffee brewed, she took the same ingredients from last night, minus the chocolate to make a muffin in a mug instead. Granted it would be a lot plainer than the chocolate one from last night, it would still be what he wanted. After the coffee and the muffin were ready she took a deep breath and headed up to talk to him. As much as she hated having to work with someone else, this was his case.
Had someone tried to save her from Jennifer as a kid, she would have hoped they had someone helping them to make sure it had happened. As much as she pretended to not care, she did. It was why she took on people's cases when they came to her at barely a payable wage. She kept the office floating with all her old aliases saved stashes for now. She was their last resort and knew that she needed to help however she could. Settling with her best friend had been the worst thing to happen to her.
"Look Wally," she said started as she made her way back into the room. Settling the mug of coffee and the muffin in a mug on the nightstand next to the bed she crossed he arms and said her piece. "I don't think you're taking this seriously. You're not taking me seriously. Not only can I handle myself I am really good at what I do. You have a kid and an agent out there and I am here to help. Now," She sat on the edge of the bed. "I am walking out there today and I am going to accidentally bump into Nolan, whether you like it or not. And I am going to do what I do best. What I know to do since I," was a kid, she stopped herself. "For a really long time. Now I need you to level with me and tell me what it is you need me to get from him to save this kid. Because as I see it the kid is priority one. If you tell me to not help in anyway, that I need to just 'enjoy myself' then I will leave. And I mean leave back to my office. If you don't let me help then what is the purpose of me being here, Wally? Why the hell ask me to come in the first place?"
Sighing, she stood up. "So, tell me. Am I packing my things and leaving or am I going out there to do what I know how to do? "
#bordeaux |āŖļømain āŖļø|#the first time he's actually vulnerable with her š#main ā®: sometimes revenge is a choice you gotta make#yes i love it connecting to the idea lol#also if this doesn't make sense just let me know
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My brain just hit an old hyperfixation (is this what it's called? I hope I used the word right) and oh dear am I losing my mind now. I need to write a story I think. About this one old guy. He's unhinged. There's so much information about him and yet not enough. I want to explore his character so much. He's definitely a criminal - at least he was one - and I'm 95% sure he can do actual real magic, and he's a musician and an artist and an actor and a magician and a philosopher and a traveler and a conman and so much more and also I think he's some kind of immortal. Maybe he just has a VERY long life. It's strongly implied he was a pirate at some point of his life. He started a cult by accident several times. My conspiracy theories about him include him being a secret god.
He's also a freaking round blue raven. Someone save me from my mind.
#seriously why is he so cool#he's like. a ball.#he's ROUND#if no one stops me I'm gonna make an au and introduce all my mutuals to a russian cartoon that lives in my head rent-free#it has an obviously mysterious old man and an old woman who seems to be very normal but actually has some weird past as well#and they're in love you can fight me on this THEY. ARE. IN LOVE.#there's a disastrous scientist who keeps forgetting to sleep and is kinda cute in a nerdy way#there's a mechanic guy who lives a bit away from everyone surrounded by tech and he's actually unhinged#he's a single father btw. he made a robot baby because he was lonely. it's very important for his character.#I WILL ship the scientist and the mechanic because no one can stop me <3#there's a local farmer who was a famous disco dancer an archeologist and a VERY famous actor in the past. he doesn't care about it anymore.#he was like. Captain America actor kind of famous. or Superman.#and then he just committed a bunch of crimes for his new friends and left to live in a village far away from big cities#all those people with very suspicious past raise a bunch of children together#absolutely inseparable adhd and autism best friends boys who I think are capable of destroying the world#and toxic teenagers couple:#a girl who honestly needs to figure herself out first before dating anyone and a poet boy who is SO deeply in love with her it's not okay#the farmer dude also has a rebellious teenager niece who visits him sometimes#and the mechanic's kid is usually in space but sometimes returns and I am not ashamed to admit that I cried during some of those episodes#I am going to think about them. they are so important to me.#I am going insane.#also yes they are all round animals. if you're wondering.#someone just tranquillise me already or something. it's 5 a.m. and I am losing my sanity
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. tasteā biasā lore-knowledgeā differing levels of chronic-online-nessā etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i saidā being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneckā¢ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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happy birthday! I just wanted to let you know that I came across this account after seeing this sick horror piece of old time churches, decinding to follow the page, and then realising that it was the same artist who'd written that sick comic on time travelling werewolves and vampires which I'd lost. and they're both t4t too ! effervescent
thank you!
Honestly it is an extremely unfamiliar reality that someone could know me from multiple different things... Not sure what to do with that but I'm glad to have impacted you in small ways and I hope to continue to do so! So thanks for being here, I'm glad that fate brought us back together haha
#honestly I never know what to say to things like this#its so kind...#there's also some kind of. there's a lot of feelings around it#the goal of an artist is to touch peoples lives in small ways. imperceptible ways really...#and I guess I never think of myself as doing that. I just think of myself as intending to do that#because thinking of myself as someone who IS feels like a great level of responsibility that I'm not sure I'm quite ready or qualified for#but I am! I've been making comics for years and I've like indisputably influenced the lives of thousands of people#and I take that extremely seriously. even though its a silly little comic its very dear to me and I am very proud of what I do#and so. thank you for sharing this#I'm being very dramatic. I'm aware LMAO#idk! just like woag my stuff is out there...#people remember it... man... thats just unreal#dickensians#asks#just another reminder of why I work so hard to make something 'good'#to me it's about making something that is worth the love people are giving it#because you're all so so so important#and you deserve something wonderful#and so I'm just doing my best to make something that feels wonderful. as much as I'm capable of haha#so. yeah...#just reminds me how important it is and why I do what I do.#thank you
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how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)
#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on#either way#im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred š#if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me#again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these š fhskfbhsjfkg#i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever#but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do#and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying#like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative#but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me#oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you#but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't#like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it)#i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me š which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable!#fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it#and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier#of my friendships#wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up#the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom)#i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a#'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order#not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i#may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me !#sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these š#vee rambles
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I have the urge to revamp the entirety of eterna. Change most of it's lore. Make it a true post-apocalypse instead of having the world currently going through one. Redesign all the ocs i have so far and rewrite them a bit
But at the same time I have so many other things I want to do. And no energy to do it all. And I don't even know if anything will come out of it. I feel like all my ideas are half-assed bc I can never find anything to do with them. I can't execute them the way I want to so I end up just not doing anything with them and letting them rot. None of it feels like it matters anymore
Idk man I'm so tired
#ramblings#neg#almost everything i want to do is more than what i'm physically or mentally capable of#i have all this time in my hands and yet i feel like i have no time at all#i feel stagnant. or even like i'm regressing in a lot of ways#trying to get the things i see in my mind out into the world isn't fun anymore it's just frustrating#i just can't seem get myself to just do the things i want to either no matter how badly i want it#makes me wonder if i actually want to make anything. if my heart's still in it#bc sometimes it really feels like it isn't. and yet here i am making a big deal out of it so maybe i'm wrong#idk. maybe i just feel like shit bc i'm hungry. I need to eat#or maybe it's my period. i swear nine times out of ten whenever i feel like shit it's bc of that#it's probably both tbh#whatever
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Damn I should have gotten this guys phone number today
#he's a coworker and a really cool guy#he definitely has a crush on me and ngl I'm kinda into him too#I AM POLYAMOROUS I AM NOT CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND#he was actually the first one I told about it#anyways I should see him tomorrow too so I can just get it then when I'm not dealing with the tags#they're sending three boxes this week and I'm fuckin annoyed about it#normally we only have one#it's a huge sale changeover week tho so I get it#it's just also my first week as the department head so... yeah I got a lot riding on this#they're not gonna demote me cuz they know I'm capable#it's just me wondering if I'm capable (and I am)
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This wip š„ŗšš
#sculpture#wip#lunar kamuy#I wonder if I can get away with working a little bit on it#just a little bit?#š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ#did some color chips yesterday of the new cernit I got myself last year#maybe I can do the missing piece of cloth?#the desire is overwhelming... šš
to say the least#sometimes I wonder what I would be capable of doing if not for this damn#chronic illness#how am I supposed to pace myself if I get these overwhelming creative urges š„²#I'm an artist for gods sake let me ~*CREATE*~#isn't that what I'm here for in the first place š#idk I think sometimes I need to do these things even if I'm hurting myself a little by doing it#the trick is to find a good balance right#on another note#the discoloration in the white parts of the rod has faded a lot since it last spread#which is very interesting#also one of the ornaments got ripped off at some point I'll have to reattach it some time
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how would you rank the ninja from worst to best based on the ninjago seasons youve seen?
Nya and Wu are the best, everyone else is the same to me
#Conceptually. Loyd; Garmadon; and Kai are interesting.#However later seasons of Loyd and Garmadon are so. They were kinda nuked#Like what do you MEAN Garmadon wasn't capable of having compassion or caring for Loyd (crystal king part 2). Like#Garmadon loved Loyd. That was a pretty important aspect of s1-2#like hello#What#the other ninja feel kinda the same to me for the most part? Especially in dragon rising. Specifically in dragon rising.#All of their one-liners have no distinct character voice. They're interchangeable. I'm going mad#Nin//jago compels me in a ''why is this so bad'' way. Or maybe it's that Sea Nya was so good compared to everything? idk#Like why was there something like that 14ish seasons in a fairly bland show. It boggles me. I'm boggled#I actually didn't watch any other part of Seabound.#In my experience ninja//go is best experienced by watching the finale/payoff#So you can fill in the set-up in your head.#I also watched a sort of edit about nya on youtube. Which gave me more context for her character#I need to stop doing a deep dive into ninj//ago like this doesn't interest me at all. I'm losing my mind. I must ignore my dark curiosity#Of wondering ''is there anything else like sea nya'' and the answer being no#I'm crying at how bad oni Loyd was like truly#Uhhhh Cole's stuff with grief wasn't awful? Or doesn't seem to be?#just like. Serviceable I guess#I'm going to be driven mad by ninja//go this shit is just. I can't even describe how I feel rn#It's so mush. It's hollow. It has nothing I like about stories or animation in it.#And I don't mind crazy lore! I'm a kh fan! But the lack of underlying logic. It makes me feel disoriented#It's like watching natla where every new line feels like it wasn't written with the last in mind#Like I guess if people like the characters????? Like that's it that's all you have#Like THIS is the show people are talking about when they're saying something is just a ''kids show'' you know#Why am I doing this this was a show made to sell merchandise it literally does not matter#I guess since the ninj//ago fandom and the lmk fandom are so closely connected I just see stuff for these characters all the time#ninjago critical#anon#asks
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need a boyfriend but also romance is disgusting but also I'm obsessed with it and want to feel it but also i don't want to commit or feel constricted by a limited relationship but also sometimes the idea of belonging to one person is nice but also no it doesn't i am a person not an object but also yes i am or at least i would be if i could but also i would never trust anyone enough for that but also i wish i could but also
#being arospec and having bpd sure is an interesting combo let me tell you that#sometimes i wonder if my identity in that regard is tied to my bpd. like the belief i won't be able to handle a relationship#bc i know no matter how well i could ever manage my symptoms it won't be enough to make me love someone enough for a steady relationship#so i just conditioned myself into not having romantic feelings in the first place. or something#i guess. i want the good parts of a relationship. but I'm not capable of handling the other parts#which is kinda sad bc i really do want the good parts. but i don't wanna hurt anyone and ik i would#anyone includes myself bc ik if i put too much work into someone I'll absolutely get tired of at some point i will end up feeling robbed#why am i even thinking abt this rn. idk i was perusing some tags and the romantic posts on them made me š¬#do i need to tag this as a vent. is it even a vent. ig? just not a negative one? eh jic then#vent#i should've been asleep an hour ago oof š³
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I want to be someone who has smart and interesting things to say about shows/movies that I like - like when I tried to convince my friends that they really need to watch Leverage. that would have been useful! instead I'm just like 'it's sooo good I like it so much I love all the characters they're all so awesome š„°'
my thoughts are generally just like.
ooh he soo prettyyy. I want to braid his hair. hehe he punched someone. look at his lil face š„° baby boi. pretty smile his mouth is so nice I like his teeth. chest hair. hands! arms arms arms š¤¤ his eyes are so pretty. oooh blood on his face, blood on his face! he's growling. annd his voice is all raspy again. I wonder [many many redacted thoughts]. ooh now he's in danger oh noo š
there's a bunch of 'she's so pretty' and 'I love her' somewhere in between all that too but mostly it's just. very, very stupid
#and I wonder why I don't remember the plot of probably half the leverage episodes#I'm rewatching it with my partner now and it was. definitely interesting. how I remembered pretty much everything from season 1. annd it#got so much worse after that#I wonder why that could be :')#I have said at least half of these things out loud just during the last episode I watched#I am so fucking stupid for this man#no thoughts just š#my brain melts and gets replaced with just pictures of Eliot with hearts drawn all over them like I'm a creepy stalker but also 12 years old#and tbh probably half of it is actually just. oh I need him. I want him. I love him.#do you sometimes wonder why some people feel the need to share every goddamn thought they have no matter how dumb it is?#why? oh no reason. me? oh no I don't do that I'm so normal!#hey at least I didn't once mention how fighting him and fucking him would definitely not fix anything but tbh yeah no it totally would#it really would#annnd now I'm losing my mind again and I better shut up before it gets even worse#like fuck it's like I literally lose the ability to form a single coherent thought#I've had thoughts about shows before! I'm capable of that! but not wjrn#there's a man.#ugh. horrible. bad. so stupid#(but he's hot and I want him and)#(oh crap now he's really in danger oh no I don't like it oh don't hurt my baby š)#(oh thank god now he's hitting people again. phew.)#anyway shut up shut up shut uppp#personal
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for context: my father (with whom i am not close) sends me, occasionally, āweirdā sexual videos with 0 context. the last two he had sent me: a cat trying to have sex with the camera, filmed by his friend; a clip on a loop from big lebowski where a female character is ridding a horse (those rides for kids that go up and down) while the guys are watching her
#tumblr poll#tumblr polls#polls#i'm trying to figure out if it's normal because i feel extremely uncomfortable. i just don't understand what it means. why?#am i overthinking this? i stopped wearing shorts at home when he was present once i hit like 17/18. he had always commented on my figure#+ i kept catching him looking at my legs and butt when he thought i wasn't looking#remember wondering why is he looking at me like the boys at school#my dad had always had awful slimy creepy vibes. i have no idea what he is capable of. or what he had done#the things i know...he belongs in prison#dennis reynolds but make it worse
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