#it's just a slow process

[kanguin]

I'm sorry I didn't word that well, I was kind of beating around the bush because I didn't want to be negative in response to your kindness. I'm currently trying to recover from a very bad mental health crisis, for lack of better words, and I'm still re-learning how to not give up on activities I enjoy just because they aren't immediately rewarding. I've turned myself off of some things I was really into because I kept pushing myself at it when I'd drop it.

So what I meant by "consistently" was "without my stink brain making me suddenly become avoidant of writing as a whole just because it doesn't know how to cope with the dopamine-release waiting period that writing often involves".

I hope that makes sense. I didn't mean writing every day or even every week, just being able to sit down and write without my mind wandering away because it's not getting instant gratification.

Ideal show:

Slow paced adult audience portal fantasy anime where a shutin dies in an accident, unfulfilled, unaware of who he really is, but is reincarnated into a fantasy world with a demon king situation. Standard fare. However, instead of getting going right away, the protagonist stays depressed and doesn't even attempt to start the quest he was given until he meets a high energy local adventurer lady, and through helping out with a sudden incident in town, protag and the adventurer form the first true friendship he's ever had. He finds her attractive, but doesn't say as much, as it he quickly finds out via a run in with her ex that she's a lesbian. Turns out, this magical world is enthusiastically and normalizing-ly accepting of queer people, and that actually comforts him greatly for some reason, even though he's pretty sure he's a straight guy; must just be happy for the people here.

His new friend encourages the him to go on and start the quest to defeat the demon king. It's a long journey, and will take years, but if he's prophesied to be the hero, then he's the only one who can do it. There's just one problem, the one prophesied to kill the demon king is a woman. Surely then he must have just misheard, clearly he must have been summoned to HELP the hero, which while disappointing and less glamorous, eases the burden somewhat. So the two gear up for their journey, and the protagonist purchases a magical item from a shop, a bracelet said to help the wearer reach their true potential. If that potential is heroism, it helps you build muscle and strengthens your bones. If that potential is music, your dexterity and fine motor skills slowly improve. Whatever change needs to be made, will be made. So surely, if a nobody like protag is taking to help defeat the demon king, that will be necessary.

The two set off, heading through more and more difficult areas as their quest takes them toward the heart of evil. Slowly but surely, protag gets stronger and faster, hell this bracelet is even smoothing out his skin. With his friend's help, protag slowly catches up to her, but not before she advances further. His adventurer friend has flings from time to time, but this doesn't really bother him, he's just happy she's happy. However the adventurer is getting confused, because she's certain she's not into men, but sometimes the light catches her friend's eyes, or glows off his hair, and she feels... Funny.

As time passes, protag's hair gets longer, from many uncut months, but it's also getting denser and more voluminous, and his hand, despite getting stronger wielding shields and swords, are also getting softer. Maybe the bracelet is trying to sighal to him to live a quiet life? But hey his stomach's getting flatter, even if it's all just shifting down to his thighs. Eh, must be there to build muscle, right?

(more under cut, this started out as a simple wishlist of ideas but ballooned into a full vague framework of a story)

But slowly, this new world challenges the protagonist on facts he took for granted. He meets people who were born one way, only to find they would rather be another, and starts to question what it even means to be a man, or if it even meant the same thing to him as other men. It means nothing to him though... Slowly, he stops trying to prove his manliness at times, and just, wants to be himself. But he's starting to question who he even is; new experiences keep making the protagonist think back to their old life, and reanalyze some things they never gave any time of day. Suddenly they're relating less and less to men, and really, truly feeling happy in the company of women. Perhaps it's just because men bullied them?

Meanwhile, the protagonist is looking... Prettier? And smiling when they see themself in the mirror? They're normally a sad snarker, but their adventurer friend is starting to be thrown off guard by their genuine joy along the journey. And... Kind of attractive, but holy shit what??? They're a guy, she doesn't swing that way, no way.

By the time they're halfway to the demon king's castle, they're greeted at a tavern as two "young ladies". Which throws the two of them for a loop, because clearly there's only one girl here, right there. Sure, the protag is pretty androgenous, always have been, so the mistake is easy to make, but... Wait have they always been androgynous? No they were clearly just some out of shape guy when they got here, why would getting in shape from a magic bracelet make that less defined. And that's when the two remembered.

The bracelet works off of the true self, the full potential of a person.

The two get a room at the in and realize they NEED to talk about what this means. The adventurer is excited, but protag is just confused. The adventurer shouts in joy that protag must be destined to ge a girl, that's why the prophecy seemed off. In a panic, protag checks their pants... Okay little buddy is still there. This, however, makes their friend crack up laughing. She's in hysterics at why they think becoming a girl means that would change. Sure, most girls have a vulva, she has one she says, but not all girls do. And if your truest, most ideal self still has a dick, there's no reason it would go anywhere.

Sure, they've been happier lately, and no longer hate seeing their face in mirrors, but do they really see themself as a girl? Wait, they've not really been referring to themself as a guy in a while, and somewhere along the line "he/him" just got dropped without them even noticing. Why does this suddenly put a lot of things from the past into context? Why does that feel like a weight off their increasingly heavier chest? Changes like this, so gradual you don't even notice, so right they just feel natural... maybe this is what they needed. Maybe this is what they've always wanted. Maybe when they arrived in this world, they weren't exactly the hero of legend, but maybe... maybe they want to become her?

This introspection greatly relieves their friend, who had grinned and bared that she must have stumbled into the responsibility, but never truly felt right taking the chosen hero's role just because of a little gender incongruence. Then again, everything about the backwards, if technologically advanced, world her friend came from makes sense why they just assumed it must be her instead.

When the pair got back on the road again, the two adventurers were working in better sync than ever. The friend native to this world started peppering in feminine terms when talking to and about the protagonist. She'd comment on "her" hair, ask a blacksmith to repair (and adjust) "this fine lady's armor". When the terms would hit a nerve, she'd back off, but slowly, the terminology started to make the protag smile sheepishly.

The protagonist wasn't the only one who was changing, of course. While both were becoming more skilled adventurers as they took on bigger and bigger missions, the more seasoned of the two found herself sitting closer on benches to her friend, stealing glances at night when they brush strands of hair out of their face, having to look away when the tent curtain isn't fully closed when the protagonist starts changing... Oh my god she's into her. Them. Whatever. At least protag isn't a guy after all?

The two of them pick up other party members along the way; some stay for a while, some leave, but by just after halfway there they're a pretty consistent team of four, and the other two are certain there's something between the co-leaders, but hell if they're going to poke that hornet's nest of drama, they have to hear the two of them fretting fruitlessly to themselves when the other isn't around as is.

2 years into the journey, and just looking at the protagonist, there's no clue she could have ever been mistaken for a man. Mere months from the demon king's castle, and she's gone from a joke the hordes can't take seriously to a fearsome warrior you don't approach, lest she strike you down with her blade or her crossbow-wielding situationship takes you out first.

Despite all the battlefield confidence, however, the protagonist and her oldest companion in this world still rest at a stalemate, where each have formed a wall of excuses for why they shouldn't approach the other about how they feel. Fighting is easy, navigating feelings is complicated, especially when the circumstances today are different from when they first met years ago. The demon king is mere months away, the party is ready to take him on, but that's bizarrely ever the topic of conversation. The mage and cleric find it not only amusing, but also reassuring, as if navigating complex social barriers is their biggest concern, then they're probably going to be just fine.

That is, it's funny until it's gone on for 3 years, the captain's a clueless virgin, the co-captain stopped having hookups over a year ago, and both are pent up to high heaven.

Then one day, just before they get to the demon castle, the impending threat cracks the surface of the tension, and the protagonist confesses to her companion, even though she knows her friend only dates women, she just has to confess. To this, her friend calls her an idiot for not realizing that isn't an issue, it hasn't been for a long time. She does reciprocate those feelings though, she was just worried the protagonist had long ago written her off as an option after she made it clear she wasn't into men, even though things had changed. In relief, the two laugh, sob, and hug, before pulling away into a long overdue kiss.

The party, newly resolved of tension, gathers their materials, and lays absolute shit into the demon king. The three years that it took to get here had honed all of them into fine warriors, but most of all the protagonist's bracelet had made her into the perfect weapon to slay the evil tyrant. With a decisive slash, the absolute evil that had plagued this land was now without his head, and the hordes of his armies that witnessed this cowered in fear of their defeat.

It would take many more years before the rest of his forces in the land outside the path the party cleared were stamped out, but the root had been thoroughly ripped out and the land could heal and rebuild without threat of absolute destruction for once in many millennia. The protagonist and her "best friend" would go on to get married, and after a few more years helping stamp out the dark army's remnants, the two would settle down in a small town, open a shop, and most of all be happy.

Maybe they stay monogamous, maybe they find a third person they both fall in love with. Maybe they eventually open the relationship but have each other as their anchors they always come home to. Maybe just the one from the magical world originally goes back to hookups on the side with her wife's blessing. I don't care how it's handled (though shirking monogamy in a story is always welcome), but I need a story like this put to animation in my lifetime. Maybe I might write my own story off this framework someday, fleshed out into a full narrative with actual names and locations, but if something like this gets put into production, which is a pipe dream I know, I would truly die happy. I love portal fantasies and their opportunity to explore a world unlike ours, and the opportunity for fish-out-of-water tales that help the protagonist grow into a better version of themself bring me so much joy. So to take this genre that is so often male wish fulfillment, and make it something that reflects my fantasies as a queer trans feminine person, it would just make me so happy.

I hope what I wrote is enjoyable by anyone who reads this, and I sincerely hope I don't have to mute this post from terf backlash or something. If you got to the end here, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.

[imclou]

I'm YN. Moon's inlove with YN

Sun (hopefully) will hop in on the band wagon Ergo: I can marry enforcer DCA. (pls accept this silly, flawed logic lol)

ALSO THESE DESIGNS ARE MARVELOUS

Bahahaha i can't argue with that logic!

But yeah you're right Firelight Y/N is a blank slate you can project onto, they're you! :D

Also thank you omggg <3 <3 <3

[deanstudies101]

Please enjoy a short hiatus (summer holidays) on account of I got a puppy last week and now all my time is spent stopping him from chewing through our mains water pipe 💖

[ma1kayl]

i assure you i have more long review posts that nobody reads planned

(zoku) owarimonogatari, one piece live action, persona 5, skyrim (one of these things is not like the other) and other things are pending

i'm just too busy and also lazy to sit down and write them atm

it doesn't help that tumblr hates giving me notifications so I keep forgetting i have it but that's its own problem

[hedgehog-moss]

In my neverending quest to keep Pampérigouste from achieving her dreams, I have launched a formal investigation into her last escape, which I had no explanations for at the time.

I figured it out! At the far far end of her pasture, near the road, a few fence posts have become more or less horizontal (the ground is quite wet / muddy there so they've never been very stable, especially with Pirlouit using them to scratch his forehead)—so instead of a high jump + long jump combo to get to the road, Pampe just had to clear the long jump over the ditch. Which is still impressive.

I also suspect that she chose to escape from this place near the road on a snowy morning as a deliberate strategy, knowing the snow plough would erase any traces of her jump, thus preventing me from discovering where the weak spot in the fence was. Well done.

You need 2 people to fix these fence posts so in the meantime I decided to kill two birds with one stone: cut all the broom and thorny bushes in this corner of the pasture and use them to form a discouraging barrier. I set to work earlier this week, and here's the same place as above, mid-process:

When I texted my mum to tell her about my new thorn-based anti-Pampe plan of action, she said "Like the Maasai who make fences with thorny acacia branches to keep out lions!" and it made me feel even more confident. I mean, I have neither acacia nor Maasai fencing techniques but my thorny shrubs are pretty aggressive, they pricked my fingers even through my thick work gloves—which felt satisfying in an anticipatory way. Excellent! prick Pampe's nose exactly like this. How could a llama not be deterred by a fence material that deters apex predators?

Vexingly enough, she seemed quite supportive of my efforts. At one point she breathed some warm air against my shoulder in a gentle, patronising way.

We were engaged in psychological warfare all afternoon—every time I stepped away from my vegetal fence, feeling like it was now good enough, Pampe would immediately come to inspect it, cheerful and impatient, which sapped my confidence so I would go and add a few more shrubs. (Note that I sort of plaited the first / biggest shrubs with the pre-existing fence so they don't go flying on the road, and so Pampe can't just push them aside.)

On the right: Poldine, looking for little fresh leaves to eat amidst the chaos. On the left: Pampérigouste, thinking.

(At this point the barrier was only 20% thorns, and 80% broom—the fact that she waded through it without a care and didn't prick her belly made me go and add more thorny shrubs, and pack them more densely)

It's kind of fun watching Pampe think, honestly. Can I jump over this? Do I have enough visibility? Can I eat my way to freedom (again)? But these shrubs are disgusting. Am I above exploiting my daughter's lack of culinary discernment to achieve my goals? Maybe I should go back to my calculations re: probability of wild boar destruction. I may have pincushions for hands after handling prickly bushes for two hours but I'm helping stimulate my llama's intellect and creativity and that's so important.

I tried to alternate broom and thorny branches so that the non-thorny broom became tangled up with thorns and brambles to form an impenetrable and incomprehensible wall. I will call it this method the salmagundi-fence.

Poldine is in awe of my vegetal installation.

Can I just say, compared to Pampérigouste who constantly has a devilish glint in her eye, Pampelune's face exudes wholesome politeness and moral goodness. It's still hard to believe they're mother and daughter.

I went home once my fence started looking like Maleficent's forest of thorns and Pampe had long stopped trying to wade through it, but I still felt antsy and ended up coming back one hour later to have my apéritif with the llamas so I could keep an eye on Pampe until nightfall.

... where is Pampe?

Oh. Here. No worries!

Still staring at the road. Still thinking.

...

With all that said, please admire my beautifully delirious Forest of Thorns-fence and let me know what you think.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Embrace the truth

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lilybug-02]

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

@yacrimago​ as always you blow me away with your incredible wolf!Bilbo art (LOOK AT HIM IN HIS BLOOD MOON STAGE!! 😍) and your love for this story that I haven’t even dropped yet. (I PROMISE I WILL SOON THOUGH!) So I was waiting til school was out (🥳) before I could reblog this with a little teaser attached. 👀 Just for being an amazing human, fan, and artist! 💗💗💗

Okay, I was going to do some more Blood Moon!Bilbo because of this (precious babe!), but I was watching AUJ the other night and I knew exactly how I wanted to do this scene so how about some wolf!Bilbo going absolutely feral on the orc about to remove Thorin’s head?

Warning: Graphic Violence

When Bilbo finally emerged from the cave into the bright sunlight, he thought perhaps whatever strange magic that had extended his time on two legs had come to an end. However, there was no uncomfortable shifting of bones under his skin or the heavy heat that seemed to weigh on him more in his wolf state. For the first time in over thirty years, Bilbo was able to feel the last of the sun’s rays on his skin. Bilbo closed his eyes, tilting his head west, and promptly began to sob. 

He knew he should focus on finding the dwarves. He knew he was far from safe as his nose still retained some of its former strength to know the hills would be crawling with goblins soon. But it was too much. If it wasn’t for the unfortunate side-effect of being invisible, BIlbo would never take the unassuming golden ring off his finger. Half the Shire thought he was dead anyways, and Thorin made it very clear he didn’t want him anymore. Why not live this way? He was a hobbit again. Didn’t that make it worth it?

Bilbo froze, totally and completely conflicted. What if Gandalf was wrong? What if there wasn’t a cure for this curse at the end of this journey? Would being invisible be any worse than being a wolf forever? It was a moment that stretched before him, waiting on a decision that was ultimately stolen from him by a long deep howl. Bilbo looked up, startled to see the sun had already set. That wasn’t what had his heart jumping to beat out of his chest though. It was thirteen shouts followed by more howls and a commanding roar. Orcs and wargs. Bilbo was out of time.

Grimacing slightly, he searched the ground for something he could use as a tie. There was a long strip of leather that could only have belonged to his dwarves. Rolled up, it served his purpose well as he fastened it into a long chain that would loop over his head. Now the tricky part. He slid it through the ring on his finger, making sure to tie it securely before taking a deep breath, and popping the ring off. The change was immediate and familiar, but somehow made worse by the few hours extra he had gotten in his true form. Bilbo shook out his fur to get rid of the tingling left behind, feeling relief when he heard the ring bouncing against his neck. At least he hadn’t lost his little trinket. And it somehow managed to perfectly hide itself in the fur on his chest. Bilbo didn’t have time to congratulate himself though. His dwarves were in trouble. 

He put his nose to the ground, picking up on Thorin’s scent immediately which had him charging full speed down the cliff face. The closer he got, the more he was able to pick up. The hunger of the wargs, the stench of the orcs, the fear of the company, and…burning pine? Clearly there was some sort of battle going on, and Bilbo needed to be there. He had to be there for Thorin. Even if the dwarf didn’t want him anymore. And then Bilbo heard a sound that chilled him to the bone. A cry of pain from a proud dwarf king.

Rational thought left him as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and a low growl left his throat. Later in his memories, he could recall pieces of the scene he stumbled upon. Gandalf and the Company trapped in a fallen tree, the wargs keeping away from the scattered patches of fire on the cliff, but mostly his vision zoned into Thorin. Thorin laying on a large rock, defeated and reaching for a sword just outside the range of his fingertips, and the large orc posed to remove his head from his body.

He snarled, buying just a small moment of hesitation from the orc, as Bilbo had him pinned with his throat ripped out before he could even defend himself with his blade. Black blood dripped from Bilbo’s jaws as he placed himself defensively between the rest of the orcs and Thorin, his teeth bared to his enemies.

The tension rose exponentially in the clearing as everyone seemed to wait with breath held. The wargs behind the fire paced and whined in uncertainty as even the dwarves fell silent at Bilbo’s unexpected appearance. However, the white orc upon his equally white warg regarded Bilbo coolly. In fact, there was something…off with the way the warg was staring at Bilbo. Something akin to hatred and anticipation all at once. Bilbo flicked an ear, but refused to move a muscle.

“Ilzgoshn (Star-howler).”

At first Bilbo thought the foreign word had come from the orc, but then the warg made a guttural noise that Bilbo was shocked he could actually understand.

“I will wash the hillside with your blood. Your clan should have stuck to your forests.”

Bilbo snapped at the warg and arched his back. A clear warning to stay away. The warg lifted its head almost in shock before giving a menacing purr.

“You know nothing of the Clans, do you, Pup? It’ll make it that much sweeter when I deliver your pelt to your alpha.”

It was at that point that several things happened. The first being the dwarves rallying into battle to attack the other orcs and wargs. The white orc dismounted from the warg and started to make his way towards Thorin. Bilbo immediately launched himself towards the orc when the white warg slammed him into the ground. It moved in for the kill while Bilbo was on his back, and the wolf quickly kicked at the underside of its jaw leaving bloody scratches that got the warg to move away.

Bilbo flipped himself back to his feet, circling the warg. His eyes flickered to Thorin, but Dwalin and Gloin had managed to distract the white orc enough to buy the king a small measure of protection. Still Bilbo would have to wrap things up with this strange warg quickly. He knew the beast had power on its side, but maybe Bilbo could use speed to his advantage. 

Seeing an opening, Bilbo danced in close getting the warg to snap before he launched himself onto its back. He latched down on the warg’s neck causing it to roar in protest as it tried to throw Bilbo off. Bilbo held on tight, knowing he was dead if he let go now. That’s when something sharp punctured itself into his side, throwing him off the warg. Bilbo yelped in pain as he flew through the air and hit into the side of a boulder. The warg was still shaking his head, Bilbo teeth clearly having done some damage. It was the white orc who was glaring at Bilbo, his claw hand dripping in red blood. Bilbo watched him approach, weakly trying to rise to his feet. He feared that this could be his end as the orc raised his mace when a large shadow passed overhead. Bilbo looked up not sure he was actually seeing what he thought he was seeing. However, as it swooped down to pick up dwarves, sending wargs and orcs running, Bilbo had to accept that there really were giant eagles invading their battle. And one of them was aiming for Bilbo right now, claws outstretched.

Still thinking of that beautiful story of @sunnyrosewritesstuff with the reverse werewolf.

Not my best but I was just doodling a bit.

[asbestos-11]

if i had a nickel for everytime i'd been emotionally affected by a blonde fictional man, i would be so rich, i would be swimming in billions.

[kandicon]

Actually I think it's severely underrated how fucking funny ejm Brian has the potential to be when there is no actual end. When he's just living on the ship on the day to day between stories and the like. Ends are so, so subjective when there are no wars or really even active society. Stuff like

Brian on his way to the kitchen to grab smth to feed the octokittens -> Jonny and Tim are arguing in front of the door -> he knows from experience that interrupting or trying to get by would only mean getting himself dragged into it -> the octokittens make (most) everyone happy and deserve to be fed food that won't immediately kill them -> conclusion: shoot both Jonny and Tim before they notice him so he can walk over their corpses to the fridge and get the octokittens food

[ineffableteeth]

I feel like if Crowley was to have an Angry response to the “rejection” it wouldn’t entirely be at Aziraphale, I honestly think most of his anger would be directed at himself for opening up

He loves Aziraphale, He always will, and He knows it

it’s a direct parallel to the fall

he allowed himself Vulnerability, only for it to lead to an eternity of torture

[leqclerc]

Charles Leclerc playing the guitar in the Canal+ documentary "Prince Charles"

[356migoro]

I want to know how you render.

A lot of people seemed to be oddly interested in how I render so...

Shape first

I use solid brush or lasso to block in the light and shadow first.

You can see this in the Till drawing because it's all hard edges

2. Add high saturation colour in the area where the light turns into shadow.

I like to do this cause it gives a glassy transparent feeling to my drawing.

like these:

3. Cause most of my drawings are 70% in shadow + 30% in light, i will render the shadow

that means, adding another "light" to the shadow, like reflective light or so. For the till drawing, its a blue light from the left

However, we need to make sure the secondary light doesn't destroy the main light source, so this secondary light will only cause hue and or saturation changes instead of value changes

...

Above are the logic for my doodle drawings, but if i want to continue, i will do the following:

4. Separating more forms

ie, for the till drawing

if the form faces left, it will be affected by the blue light.

if the form turns away from camera and not affected by the blue light, it will be redish

if the form is hard, shape will have hard edges

if the form turns, shape will have soft edges

5. Separate space

Things in front are solid and things in the back are blurry

---

Well, in my art logic, i think "rendering" is separating more layers of information, ie

separating form's plane (via lighting, edges etc)

separating space (via blurriness and light decay)

separating material (e.g. if hair strip is thin, it will be more transparent etc)

oh and i usually add gradients, so it contrasts with the hard blocks i make ✌

---

hope this helps

I posted some of my drawing process on Bilibili @356Migoro, if anyone is interested.

---

🤔Actually, I intended to make a YouTube channel to share my art shenanigans, but I'm just a bit too busy lately, let me know if there's anything else you are interested✌

---

also, normally I don't paint in a solid step-to-step process, its usually i realise that after i have done something, there's still not enough information, so that i "add logic" to my drawing. (e.g. adding the blue light for the till drawing)

---

and since people asked before:

i use CSP to paint everything

I only use 5 type of pens, they are my main partners in crime✌✌✌ (1) lasso and Default G-pen to line and block in hard edges, (2) Transparent pens for mixing colour (3) Blur tool, (4) Gradient (5) texture pen

glhf

[ryuki-draws]

They crash your graphic software and then give you this look

[priscirat]

Her bass playing today was so sad, it was outright painful to listen to.

[dayurno]

riko is in such a weird cultural place if you think about it. he’s a japanese boy who has been coached to assimilate into american culture by an uncle who we assume taught him japanese but didn’t have enough interest in him to share any aspect of his culture beyond the language, and he’s the main perpetrator of holding jean to an americanized standard but he himself has been through that process before and had to learn and adapt on his own. beyond the acceptance of his family i think it’s easy to forget riko was also denied access to his own culture (and likewise, any sense of non-exy related community) through their rejection, and it’s interesting to think about how he upheld the same process of americanization for kevin and jean, both foreign boys just like him. it makes one wonder if riko was even buried with the proper traditions—did they bury him as a japanese man or was he denied even that? and did tetsuji even care enough, respect him enough to oversee his burial?