#it's just a badly plotted and shitty event

[cryminiz]

hot take or w/e: 99% of the main events of apology tour, tbh, would be better if the positions were switched.

because when you say "stoliz breakup arc where person A calls the other out for always making the relationship about sex and has an entire breakdown about how they feel the other person has never fully appreciated them in the relationship and never felt respected while the other person gets a reality check over their actions and has to realize how badly theyve been treating them" then its blitz on stage and stolas in the crowd. its the only way the plot makes sense

regardless of the whole "guys they were secretly childhood friends and um blitz was the one who actually made the first move to sex even if stolas literally leads with 'so you wanna fuck me????' so its all blitz's fault their relationship is just sex" Thing in s2 ep1.... it was stolas' idea to make their transaction of the book sexual.

he was literally the one going "hey btw i need my book back but you can keep borrowing it...... IF you fuck me into the bed until i cant see straight you sexy little fucking imp" so atp whoever first started the sexual aspect of their relationship is moot. stolas is the one who escalated it into a toxic benefits deal.

stolas is the one who consistently goes "my widdle sexy imp" and "blitzy witzy come fucky wucky with me" to ""playfully"" demean blitz without realizing how the imp doesnt actually like it. he has the power in the situation who just assumes blitz is cool with their relationship and the way he treats him.

stolas is the one who doesnt think about the societal implications of their relationship, because he puts himself in romantic daydreams and uses blitz as a coping mechanism to distract himself from how much he hates his life. he wont even consider blitz's complicated feelings on their dynamics from his perspective as an imp without stolas shutting it down like "hm, you sound TOO much like striker, so byeeee!" hes the one who needs a wake up call!

and while blitz is obviously not innocent in this relationship (avoiding intimacy, taking any chance he can get to escape dealing with his problems, blowing up and projecting his insecurity onto others instead of discussing his problems, keeping secrets, twisting it where it hurts to 'gain' one in an argument even if he doesnt mean it, etc)....

hes SOOOOO getting fucked over in this relationship. and currently, being in such a sex centered relationship with a power imbalance only serves to justify his own self-mantra that he has to be useful in order to be loved! he deserves to have a moment where he actually shakes off all of his insecurities and screams out I DESERVE BETTER! for once in his life. and not just turning to drinking or drugs or sex or living vicariously through millie and moxxie; really just screaming in front of a whole crowd like FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO SHITTY!!! FUCK YOUUUUU

tldr; tops deserve rights actually and sometimes you gotta put a bottom in their place

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Hello, Sleppy! There is one thing I have always wanted to know about Jade but did not dare ask. Tell me, please, what happened to Jade and Simon in the original CoD universe? I saw a sketch of crying Jade, was it her reaction to Simon's death or in your universe he managed to survive? P.S. - I am sorry if you do not like this question at all.

Okay so since I rarely post about the OG!MW2 anymore, I'm just gonna reveal the whole plot to you guys (ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)

Be ready cuz this is kinda long - these are the canon divergence that I constructed in the events that my OC's are inserted into the OG!MW2 plot.

So, Jade was actually sent by the MI6 to track down what actually happened that made Russia attack US out of nowhere. Because that Zakhaev Airport massacre sounded and looked FISHY as HECK. Being the MI6 she was, Jade had to report regularly to her handler in MI6 (141 didn’t know this. It’s her personal gig). She met Soap Ghost and Roach there, but her first meeting with Ghost was bad and blab la blaaa SHE OPENED GHOST'S MASK. She also met Ellie (another OC I had for Gaz who’s a medical corps leader in 141. Gaz died in the OG!MW, she was still saddened but she’s very glad to have Jade in the base).

There’s also another OC that I have named Bara. He’s a lone Indonesian Denjaka sniper lieutenant that got sent by the country to capture an Indo defector among Makarov’s cause. Because of political reasons, he’s not a 141. Bara’s like an ally that pop out sometime somewhere like a spirit. 141 themselves were still very suspicious of him, but when Bara saved Meat and Royce in Rio, he gained their trust, and 141 would help him find the defector as Bara would help them on their missions.

Now, sometime in the middle, Jade was captured by Makarov and got tortured by him. Jade intentionally didn’t escape and held the pain in to gain some info herself from anyone inside the room or from Makarov himself. And that’s where the (How about you check who you surround yourself with) and Jade’s gears started turning inside her brain. She released herself and ran amok around Mak’s place, and found some data about “anonymous source” that said there’ s mole among Makarov’s group in the massacre (we know it is Joseph Allen) and she SENT THAT STRAIGHT to MI6. Ghost and the boys found the compound and rescued a badly injured Jade.

So like, along the story, Jade found bits and pieces, put two and two together, and by the end, Jade’s 90% sure that Shepherd’s onto something shitty.

NOW HERE’S THE CANON DIVERGENCE IN LOOSE ENDS MISSION.

As Jade, Roach, and Ghost went to Makarov’s base at the Georgian-Russian border, Jade actually took the time to read the posts, notes, and all the info that were sticked to the boards, tables, and walls. In fact, as Ghost and Roach was busy fighting off Makarov’s goons, Jade READ that shit (because at that point she didn’t trust Shepherd AT ALL).

And you guessed it, she found out that Shepherd is the mastermind behind every damn thing.

So when Roach transferred the data to the DSM, she did her magic and unbeknownst to everyone, she SENT ALL the proof to MI6 on the spot.

Jade then told Ghost and Roach about everything, and they did NOT trust Shepherd anymore. So when the general told them to go the fields, they declined and decided to hold the fort inside the house. Shepherd knew something was wrong, so when he kept pressing the three to get out of the house, but again, the three didn’t oblige, the general and the shadows decided to finally go to the house.

Shepherd and the Shadows cleared the whole area from enemies and tried to find Ghost, Roach, Jade,and the others in the house. One by one, the SC people got killed with stealth. Things led to another, and chaos ensued inside the house. Shepherd could’ve burnt down the house with the 141 in it, but Shepherd’s paranoid that Jade had done something, and he NEEDED that DSM.

Shootout happened, and Jade got one of the SC as a shield with a gun to his head. Shepherd told Jade to give him the DSM, and convo happened, Shepherd finally revealed his motives. And now he had to get rid of the three of them.

AND THEN, MI6 contacted Jade, saying that the proof about Shepherd’s doing had gone public. The whole thing was his doing all long, and now the world had turned all their forces towards finding Shepherd. Russia, US, now began their search on Shepherd! WOOHOO

Panicked, Shepherd yelled at SC as reinforcements came, along with Price and Soap who came straight fom Kazakhstan to the place, Meat and Royce (who survived Rio), Archer and Toad, everyone came to help.

CLIMAX ENSUED, and Ghost got shot twice protecting Jade from Shepherd’s bullets.

As Jade held Ghost on her arms, Price and Soap, with Nikolai’s help, chased Shepherd who’s desperately tried to escape and killed him. Minus the Soap getting stabbed.

Don’t worry, Ghost survived because ELLIE WILL NOT let him leave Jade like Gaz left her too fast. So Ghost survived WOOHOOO.

The Jade crying sketch was, indeed, a cry of relief as Ellie told her that Ghost was going to be fine (❁´◡`❁). She wore Ghost's jacket to comfort herself during the times Ghost was unconscious, and this sketch came out!

Everybody lives, no WW3, no MW3. This is REAL MOVIE ASS SHIT but it’s what’s in my mind!

I have the whole ass fic about the post-Loose Ends angst at the ready if y'all want it.

[miss-revy-1412]

Uncle Murad is a terrible dad Mehmed needed hugs and therapy

No, if you think I'm gonna defend his SA attempt on MC then take a chill pill because that's not gonna happen!!!!!

But……..

I might advocate how Uncle Murad was a terrible father to a child who literally went paralyzed for life. and how certain actions can cost your dear ones really badly a.k.a Lale getting nearly r*ped and traumatised for life.

First of all, what as a parent will you do to a chid if they lose their mother aka you lose a wife?

Option A: Try to raise them up by yourself. Option B : Arrange child care for them and listen to their pain Or Option C : Throw them away from your house and then call them back when you lose all your children?

Guess what our uncle did!!!

He banishes this child, doesn't even try to give him education ignores him for 9 years, no contact and has always had low hopes from his own kid because, his favorite kids died one by one like Dominoes falling plus he is the reminder of his wife's death? I mean WTF what did that child even do to you? She's dead and you should instead cope and try to make amends with your kid. Is this what good parents do? Also them he goes roasting his own wife in Season 2 that she was not smart and beautiful woman but, I felt pity

Me: Excuse me her child literally is not such reminder and also if you felt pity why banishing your child like a savage?

Are these signs of ignorant dad? Yes it is indeed. Do you think why Mehmed has esteem issues, behaviour issues, unable to talk to opposite gender in respectable manner and even erratic behaviour for no reason?

All of his sh+tty flaws are result of an ignorant, hostile charged-energy environment and seeing woman just as bodies not getting love or even a break and seeing everything as property to conquer a.k.a : Lale was gonna pay some sh*t for real even if he met her later or soon and that's what makes his character even mid. I want to hate his shitty actions but, as I see this plot sometimes I feel If mental asylum were available he be patient for life and he might have changed for real but sadly 14th century there was no psychology and therapy

The therapy you can give him is: "Awww, he's so tragic let me forgive him to fix him!" Pffft !

An irony even to see is his dream in S4E7 , Lale appears to be taking care of his mental status after her lost his "mind".

Also, this guy was satanized as a child doesn't even remember his own mother well and worse his underdeveloped hypothalamus was f*cked the day Mephis did voodoo magic on his body and mind and hence you have a psychotic son and ruler depending on your relationship with Mehmed.

Perhaps this scene and the actions of uncle literally triggered something in me and I found Mehmed more reasonable for hating his father in my case it was my grandmother.

Seriously, who would think RC would trigger my life event technically I also faced same shit as child as abandoned of someone's love ?

Apparently, this is why I can't love Uncle Murad as a character one point he does something good but, then he also does something terrible too.

And yes he went old he started to realise he did wrong to Mehmed yet, they still have a strained relationship even the adult Mehmed claims in recent update how Uncle never made ammends with him and just saw him his "heir" but not in a loving manner but just a placeholder.

Moral of the story: Don't throw children out when they need you the most or else be ready to have consequences and a very rough and evil offsprings.

Mehmed can be anything depending on you views given he's a complex character

He can be shit He can be redeeming , He can improve, He can be an asshole, He can be a predator, He can be tragic

Thank you !

[sucker4sixx]

Barracuda

From 2023!

Plot: johnny and reader meet eachothers after a pretty shitty breakup...

Warnings: dirty smut, degrading, praising, public sex, sad topics, online bullying, alcohol, talk of death, anger, cursing

It had been a long, lonely six months since you and johnny broke up. You got invited out to a club by bam who you still kept in contact with after separating from the rest of the jackass boys, he insisted you came since he missed drinking with you and he would "help you find a new 'fuck bunny'" as he put it. It was no secret you where nervous to see johnny again, but that was to be expected. Johnny was the best lover you ever had and you hadnt seen him since week you broke up to give his old shirts back.

You wore a short dark purple dress with fish net tights and black heels, you wanted to blend in with bam as much as possible. *RING RING* you jumped causing you to tug on your earring that you where halfway through putting in your ear, the pain stinging as you flipped your phone open and balanced it between your head and shoulder "hey bam bam" "hey fuck face ill be out front in ten" "perf, thanks" you took five glasses of strong moon juice before leaving to get you more in the mood

The rasp of an engine screamed from outside your small house and you knew it was bam without looking. Quickly you pushed your feet into your black heels and shoved on a plain leather jacket, carefully trotting out to his purple lambo that reflected off the sun that set making the sky a peaceful orange colour "hey bammy" "stop with the stupid ass nicknames, turd" "only when you do" he went silent before giggling alittle "just get your fuckin seat belt on" "yes sir"

Arriving, bam took your hand leading you in, as planned your outfits matched with colour "hey y/n! I didnt know you where coming!" Chris spoke, smoking at the entrance "heya chris, its been awhile" "for sure, see ya inside buddy" bam nods a hello to him and you both walk in, the bar was decently busy. You where led to where ryan sat, beer in hand "hey ry" "hello m'lady" he smiled warmly up at you, you had seen ryan on the occasion since he was always hanging out with bam.

The cheap couch you three sat on was starting to hurt your arse so you decided to have a walk around to see if you could find anymore of the men who you hadnt saw in too long.

You reached the bar and made the mistake of resting your bare arms on the sticky counter, regretting taking off your jacket and leaving it with bam. "Hi, two cans of ciders please" you say to the bartender, sliding him five dollars. He continued to serve the people who had ordered before you giving you time to look around. Your eyes scanned the crowd of badly dressed 20yr olds untill they focused on a tall man who stood staring at you while a woman tried to dance with him "shit..." you muttered, turning back round. Johnny was the last person you wanted to see right now and oh god did he look hot, a tight white tee-shirt that showed off every inch of his toned chest and blue pants that you wish you where on your knees zipping the fly down on, but his ego and your dignity were the only thing stopping you "hi doll face" you heard from behind you only minutes later, deep raspy southern accent... wonder who that is "hey johnny" turning round and seeing the smug look on his face would make you rage so you decided just to keep facing the bar, composing yourself was the smartest decision you could make right now "who ya here with?" Go away. "Just bam" "you two are getting real close" the bar tender handed you your change and your two ciders, finally releasing you from him "whats it to you?" You asked rhetorically, walking back to bam and ryan.

You didnt want to tell them the previous events, scared of ruining their night or their mood "you didnt get any for me?" Bam asked, a dirty look on his face "no?" You laughed almost as if he was stupid for even asking, which he was. You couldnt help but look around to look for johnny whenever you where away in thought, the effect he has always had on you was strong and you felt like a highschool girl looking for her crush in the hall way.

"Hey bam, ryan" a voice spoke infront of you, johnny. Atleast it saves you accidentally pulling a neck muscle looking around for him "hey ass face, sit down!" Bam was doing this purely to annoy you, moving towards ryan so that johnny was forced to sit next to you. He didnt bother talking to you, laughing and talking with bam and ryan while you sat awkwardly, drinking the last of your cider. God you couldnt help but look at his chests, soon he will be needing a bra more than you will. Its kinda hot though "sweetheart, stop staring your getting drool allover yourself" your head snapped up and he sat smiling at you that god damn smile that made you wanna slap it off him "i was daydreaming, and dont call me that" "youve never been good at excuses" you just shrugged and went back to your cider to hint that you really werent interested in talking to him "so whats been going on with you?" Johnny asked, the smile away but surprisingly not due to your back hand "nothing much, its only been six months. You?" You already knew his life was so much more interesting "well... nothin" oh? "What?

Youve not been doing anything? I mean cmon your johnny knoxville your never not doing anything" he just shrugged and furrowed his brows in a guilty way "its hard when ive not got my partner in crime around" the last thing you needed was sappyness from him, you werent over him at all and spent every night crying into that one teeshirt you left behind "jeff i ment, hes been on holiday" "what a fucking gentleman" he laughed that laugh he usually done and nudged you slightly "cmon, cheer up im only jokin!"

Why is he so calm and so happy? Is he not hurt? Did you not mean a single thing to him? Its only been six fucking months and hes as happy as youve ever saw him yet your so down. He caught on to this pretty fast.

"Johnny, how do you do that?" You knew it might start shit but why shouldnt you know "do what?" Sigh "your so cheerful so fast" "reword that doll i dont understand" you turned your head away in embarrassment "just askin if you want a drink?" You gaslighted him to make him think he miss heard you, he raised his brow knowing full well that you where lying "yeah sure, lets go" you had expected him to decline like he always did (because he hated the thought of you slaving around for him) and escape to the dance floor. You sat on a bar stool, him sitting on the one next to it "two ciders and two beers" you say sliding the bartender a ten "love life?" Johnny asks suddenly, catching you off gaurd "huh? What? No!" A laugh escaped both your lips "no love life" you added for good measure "you?" He just shrugs "hardly" johnny clears his throat and looks around alwardly "so how have you really been" "yeah really good!" LIE "the quite life is definitely for me" LIE "Oh really? I thought that was just an excuse to get away from me"

-

You sat at home after coming home early from some stupid skit that would definitely leave johnny dead if it was preformed wrong, you stormed from the set and drove home. He doesnt consider your feelings and what your life would be like if he died from some stupid stunt.

You went home and opened your computer when a news tab popped up "johnny knoxville seen in public

HOLDING HIS GIRLFRIENDS HAND" what?reluctantly you opened it. It was just a picture of you two walking holding hands literally nothing out of the ordinary. You jumped to the comments to see if they would agree that thats literally nothing. Nope.

"Stupid skank!" "Shes too ugly for him!" "Im his perfect girl" "hes too hot, someone break them up"

News report after news report the comments where the same and looking at them was self destruction. Johnny had argued with you multiple times for seeing them or for leaving his work early because you where scared if he died. Recently he had been pent up due to work and had accidentally been taking it out on you.

"Im leaving i cant do this" you whispered to yourself, walking up to your shared room. You got the huge suitcase that u had bough for your holiday in spain only a few months before hand. Once that was full you packed your bags up with everything that couldnt fit.

One by one you brought the bags to the door, ready to lift them into your car

*CLICK*

The front door opened and johnny stood staring at you with an expression either of fear, worry or confusion"oh your home early" he just nodded, staring at your bags

"yeah i decided not to do it, you going on holiday?" You stopped for a moment to decide if you really wanted to do this but it had been on your mind for awhile, if you didnt do it now you would be happy "no pj, im leaving" suddenly he turned his back and locked the door "no your fucking not" "pj please..." he held his back against the door, a horrified look on his face and tears welling in his eyes "baby i cant let you go" "but its for the best" you wiped the tears that ran down your cheeks "your not thinking straight, you need to stop" he pointed an accusing finger at you"i am, please move stop making this more difficult" you walked towards the door and tried to pull him away from it "why are you wanting to leave me, i love you" his voice had gone dark and croaky and he didnt bother wiping the tears that ran down his cheeks away "this is too much for me, you hurt yourself without thinking of the after effects. I wouldnt be able to live if you got seriously hurt. Youve been seriously nagging me for ages i feel like your my parent! The things people say online about me are getting worse, i need a quite life away from..." you trailed off "me?"johnny asked, you just nodded, he grabbed you into a hug "no no no dont leave me i can tell them to stop, ill be better for you" "let me go" you pleaded, the tears streaming onto his shirt now. As if a switch went off he let go and stormed into the living room "fuck!" You could hear him shout, you took your chance and unlocked the door, pushing all your bags to your car "what the fuck!" You could still hear him screaming, trying to make sense of it all. Once your car was full you looked back to the front door that still lay open, no sight of johnny waiting to wave you goodbye. You left to go back to your own small apartment, seeing him appear at his door watching your car leave.

A week later you built up your courage to give johnny back a few shirts he had left at yours or just gave to you.

You arrived at his front door and knocked it loud so that he couldnt use 'i didnt hear you' as an excuse.

*CLICK*

johnny answered the door, he hadnt shaved or been to sleep in ages it looked like, his hair all scruffy and house dark and stinky "what?" His voice croaked "just giving you back your stuff" he took the shirts from your hands and put them on the table in the house giving you a chance to glance around and the un cared for home

"that all?" "Yeah i uh-" "bye" he grumbles over you, slamming the door in your face.

-

The bar tender slides you both your cans and the change, johnny cracks open a can and brings it to his lips "how are you doing?" You ask him "surviving" he gave a loose smile "definitely better than i was, that wasnt my proudest moment" he giggled drinking a little bit more of his drink "im sorry for leaving" the topic had gone sad and dense and you could feel the alcohol making a sour turn in your mood "do you regret it?" You took a quick swig of your cider and tapped your fingers off the can anxiously "you know... yeah i guess, but the comments about me where too much i dont think i could put myself through that again" he shakes his head "forget about all that shit, what about me? Do you regret leaving me?" He desperately searched your eyes, the same look that he showed when he saw u with the suitcases. Tears in both your eyes now, the silence dragged out too long.

His mouth opened to say something but you quickly stopped him by crashing your lips off his, he brought his left hand up to cradle your face, running circles on your cheek with his thumb as he usually did. Very quickly his tongue slid into your mouth, the bitter taste of whiskey and vodka from his and the strong moon juice and cider from yours dancing between your mouths. He pulled away, his eyes dark with lust that you have never seen before "i need you darlin, like real bad" suddenly his voice was deep and southern, the exact way that turned you on "ill call a cab" once again he shook his head "no i cant wait that long". With a tight grip of your hand johnny was dragging you from the bar to the single mens bathroom, bathroom sex sounded fun but you groaned knowing that mens bathrooms were already filthy enough.

As soon as the door slammed shut johnny was cornering you to the door kissing your neck greedily making you moan and hold the back of his head, encouraging him to continue. "Take your clothes off honey" he spoke with a rasp, moving himself away to remove his own clothes. Once you had finished you made your way to him, kissing his neck back while he took off his boxers revealing his dick that was already leaking and red "bend over the sink for me like a good girl" you obliged, resting your arms on the sink that was decaying at the corners, infront of you stood a mirror that had a crack near the top and was stained slightly.

Through it you could see johnny walking up behind you, eyes filled with dangerous amounts of lust as he crouched under you. An evil giggle sounded from under you, johnny gripped the back of your thighs tight while he slowly dragged the tip of his tongue through your folds making you gasp and buckle your knees. "Oh fuck" you whispered through your hand that covered your mouth. Slowly he started licking your clit to tease you, with every painfully slow lick your eyes would clench and moans fell out your mouth "johnny please... go faster" you forced out "pardon doll?" He knew fine well but used it as an excuse just to stop and made you huff "go faster" you desperately pleaded "faster?" "Please..." before you could finish speaking johnny shoved two fingers inside your dripping head and flicked his tongue over your clit repetitively making you quite literally scream in pleasure, gripping onto the sink for dear life.

"Johnny.. slow down" you gasped, struggling to even stand as he continued to plow his fingers into you and make out with your clit "dont act like you dont want this doll" he spoke from under you, he wasnt wrong.

You wouldve been angry as shit if he stopped. Loud moans continued to bark out your mouth, your forehead started to hurt from resting it against the mirror.

Only a minute later he had you weaker, melting against the sink while your legs helplessly shook. Curses spilled out your mouth "fuck... fuck johnny im going to cum"

"cmon darlin, cum around my fingers" with that ur moans where out of controll, he had suck a way with words. "Fuck im-" your moan was cut off by confusion as he pulled out "johnny what the fuck?" He got up and put his hands on the sink infront of you, looking at you through the mirror with a evil smile "god you look so hot when your mad sweetheart" his hand slithered to your neck where he held it up, not hard but hard enough. With a quick movement he shoved his cock into you, making your eyes roll back and a guttural moan scream from you "you want everyone to hear you? Hear you like the little slut you are?" He mocked, continuing to slam his hips upward. You forgot that the bar wasn't extremely busy and if anyone went near the bathroom door they would hear you without a doubt

"hm? Is that a yes? You like them hearing me stuffing you with my fat cock?" You nodded feverishly earning loud grunt from him "good girl"

Soon his strong thrusts became shakey, your mind somehow managing to catch on to the song in the back round, barracuda by heart the song that played when you and johnny first had sex. His grip in your hair tightened almost scalping you as his moans became louder, you looked at him through the mirror the realisation finally setting in. This is the last time, isnt it?

You shed tears as you came around him without warning due to your moans becoming silent from the distracting thought "fuck sweetie, you feel amazing... where should i-" "inside pi" he grabbed you into a hug as he continued to fuck you from behind, a clear reaction to the nickname that u hadnt called him in ages "fuck... oh shit" his grip tightened around your torso as you felt his warm cum filling you up.

He stayed like that for a few, hot breath making itself comfortable in the crease of your neck. You still silently cried without him noticing. "Fuck that was great" he finally spoke, pulling out and instantly cleaning you both up with the rough toilet paper that sat ontop of the toilet. "Yeah" you said blandly, pulling your clothes back on "doll? Look at me." Reluctantly you faced him, red puffy eyes giving away that you were crying "ah, shit.. did i hurt you?” You just shook your head, biting your cheeks to keep in the agonising cries that you let out everyday "speak to me" johnny pulled on his boxers and sat on the toilet lid, you standing like a lost child at the door trying so hard not to cry. Instead of just standing there you walked over to him and sat on his lap, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I cant live without you" you felt pathetic, so utterly pathetic. Sitting in the lap of the man thats heart you broke, crying into his shoulder. A small sniffle sounded behind your ear and you felt his big arms wrap around you "you mean it?" "Pi, breaking up was the worse decision of my life. I beat myself up for it everyday" he just grasped you into a tighter hug, properly crying now breaking your heart by the second, you broke such a strong man. "Cmon honey, lets go back to my place yeah?" He sniffed "yeah lets go"

Once you both decided it was okay you left, a couple of people drawing you dirty looks "y/n!" Bam shouted from behind the both of you, you turned round to see him standing with a random guy "thus is ted hes your fuck bunny for tonight" thats when johnny turned round and bam finally realised what was going on

"what the fuck!" He shouted as you and johnny ran to the door, calling a cab giggling like children.

The house was no different than you had left it apart from the pictures of you where not up on the walls anymore. You made your way to his bedroom and he offered you one of his teeshirts to wear to sleep.

Spooning him was like finally taking a drug that you decided to stop for some reason, his scent invading you but you couldnt care less

"Night doll" he spoke softly in your ear with a sleepy raspy voice "night darling" you replied, earning a huge grin from him that you could feel forming at your neck....

[therealpontius]

Barracuda

Johnny/pj (dom) x reader (sub)

Plot: johnny and reader meet eachothers after a pretty shitty breakup…

Warnings: dirty smut, degrading, praising, public sex, sad topics, online bullying, alcohol, talk of death, anger, cursing

Word count: 3.5K

It had been a long, lonely six months since you and johnny broke up. You got invited out to a club by bam who you still kept in contact with after separating from the rest of the jackass boys, he insisted you came since he missed drinking with you and he would "help you find a new 'fuck bunny' " as he put it. It was no secret you where nervous to see johnny again, but that was to be expected. Johnny was the best lover you ever had and you hadnt seen him since week you broke up to give his old shirts back.

You wore a short dark purple dress with fish net tights and black heels, you wanted to blend in with bam as much as possible. *RING RING* you jumped causing you to tug on your earring that you where halfway through putting in your ear, the pain stinging as you flipped your phone open and balanced it between your head and shoulder "hey bam bam" "hey fuck face ill be out front in ten" "perf, thanks" you took five glasses of strong moon juice before leaving to get you more in the mood

The rasp of an engine screamed from outside your small house and you knew it was bam without looking. Quickly you pushed your feet into your black heels and shoved on a plain leather jacket, carefully trotting out to his purple lambo that reflected off the sun that set making the sky a peaceful orange colour "hey bammy" "stop with the stupid ass nicknames, turd" "only when you do" he went silent before giggling alittle "just get your fuckin seat belt on" "yes sir"

Arriving, bam took your hand leading you in, as planned your outfits matched with colour "hey y/n! I didnt know you where coming!" Chris spoke, smoking at the entrance "heya chris, its been awhile" "for sure, see ya inside buddy" bam nods a hello to him and you both walk in, the bar was decently busy. You where led to where ryan sat, beer in hand "hey ry" "hello m'lady" he smiled warmly up at you, you had seen ryan on the occasion since he was always hanging out with bam. The cheap couch you three sat on was starting to hurt your arse so you decided to have a walk around to see if you could find anymore of the men who you hadnt saw in too long.

You reached the bar and made the mistake of resting your bare arms on the sticky counter, regretting taking off your jacket and leaving it with bam. "Hi, two cans of ciders please" you say to the bartender, sliding him five dollars. He continued to serve the people who had ordered before you giving you time to look around. Your eyes scanned the crowd of badly dressed 20yr olds untill they focused on a tall man who stood staring at you while a woman tried to dance with him "shit..." you muttered, turning back round. Johnny was the last person you wanted to see right now and oh god did he look hot, a tight white tee-shirt that showed off every inch of his toned chest and blue pants that you wish you where on your knees zipping the fly down on, but his ego and your dignity were the only thing stopping you "hi doll face" you heard from behind you only minutes later, deep raspy southern accent... wonder who that is "hey johnny" turning round and seeing the smug look on his face would make you rage so you decided just to keep facing the bar, composing yourself was the smartest decision you could make right now "who ya here with?" Go away. "Just bam" "you two are getting real close" the bar tender handed you your change and your two ciders, finally releasing you from him "whats it to you?" You asked rhetorically, walking back to bam and ryan.

You didnt want to tell them the previous events, scared of ruining their night or their mood "you didnt get any for me?" Bam asked, a dirty look on his face "no?" You laughed almost as if he was stupid for even asking, which he was. You couldnt help but look around to look for johnny whenever you where away in thought, the effect he has always had on you was strong and you felt like a highschool girl looking for her crush in the hall way. "Hey bam, ryan" a voice spoke infront of you, johnny. Atleast it saves you accidentally pulling a neck muscle looking around for him "hey ass face, sit down!" Bam was doing this purely to annoy you, moving towards ryan so that johnny was forced to sit next to you. He didnt bother talking to you, laughing and talking with bam and ryan while you sat awkwardly, drinking the last of your cider. God you couldnt help but look at his chests, soon he will be needing a bra more than you will. Its kinda hot though "sweetheart, stop staring your getting drool allover yourself" your head snapped up and he sat smiling at you that god damn smile that made you wanna slap it off him "i was daydreaming, and dont call me that" "youve never been good at excuses" you just shrugged and went back to your cider to hint that you really werent interested in talking to him "so whats been going on with you?" Johnny asked, the smile away but surprisingly not due to your back hand "nothing much, its only been six months. You?" You already knew his life was so much more interesting "well... nothin" oh? "What? Youve not been doing anything? I mean cmon your johnny knoxville your never not doing anything" he just shrugged and furrowed his brows in a guilty way "its hard when ive not got my partner in crime around" the last thing you needed was sappyness from him, you werent over him at all and spent every night crying into that one teeshirt you left behind "jeff i ment, hes been on holiday" "what a fucking gentleman" he laughed that laugh he usually done and nudged you slightly "cmon, cheer up im only jokin!"

Why is he so calm and so happy? Is he not hurt? Did you not mean a single thing to him? Its only been six fucking months and hes as happy as youve ever saw him yet your so down. He caught on to this pretty fast.

"Johnny, how do you do that?" You knew it might start shit but why shouldnt you know "do what?" Sigh "your so cheerful so fast" "reword that doll i dont understand" you turned your head away in embarrassment "just askin if you want a drink?" You gaslighted him to make him think he miss heard you, he raised his brow knowing full well that you where lying "yeah sure, lets go" you had expected him to decline like he always did (because he hated the thought of you slaving around for him) and escape to the dance floor. You sat on a bar stool, him sitting on the one next to it " two ciders and two beers" you say sliding the bartender a ten "love life?" Johnny asks suddenly, catching you off gaurd "huh? What? No!" A laugh escaped both your lips "no love life" you added for good measure "you?" He just shrugs "hardly" johnny clears his throat and looks around alwardly "so how have you really been" "yeah really good!" LIE "the quite life is definitely for me" L I E "Oh really? I thought that was just an excuse to get away from me"

~

You sat at home after coming home early from some stupid skit that would definitely leave johnny dead if it was preformed wrong, you stormed from the set and drove home. He doesnt consider your feelings and what your life would be like if he died from some stupid stunt.

You went home and opened your computer when a news tab popped up "johnny knoxville seen in public HOLDING HIS GIRLFRIENDS HAND" what?reluctantly you opened it. It was just a picture of you two walking holding hands literally nothing out of the ordinary. You jumped to the comments to see if they would agree that thats literally nothing. Nope.

"Stupid skank!"  "Shes too ugly for him!"  "Im his perfect girl" "hes too hot, someone break them up"

News report after news report the comments where the same and looking at them was self destruction. Johnny had argued with you multiple times for seeing them or for leaving his work early because you where scared if he died. Recently he had been pent up due to work and had accidentally been taking it out on you.

"Im leaving i cant do this" you whispered to yourself, walking up to your shared room. You got the huge suitcase that u had bough for your holiday in spain only a few months before hand. Once that was full you packed your bags up with everything that couldnt fit. One by one you brought the bags to the door, ready to lift them into your car *CLICK*

The front door opened and johnny stood staring at you with an expression either of fear, worry or confusion"oh your home early" he just nodded, staring at your bags "yeah i decided not to do it, you going on holiday?" You stopped for a moment to decide if you really wanted to do this but it had been on your mind for awhile, if you didnt do it now you would be happy "no pj, im leaving" suddenly he turned his back and locked the door "no your fucking not" "pj please..." he held his back against the door, a horrified look on his face and tears welling in his eyes "baby i cant let you go" "but its for the best" you wiped the tears that ran down your cheeks "your not thinking straight, you need to stop" he pointed an accusing finger at you"i am, please move stop making this more difficult" you walked towards the door and tried to pull him away from it "why are you wanting to leave me, i love you" his voice had gone dark and croaky and he didnt bother wiping the tears that ran down his cheeks away "this is too much for me, you hurt yourself without thinking of the after effects. I wouldnt be able to live if you got seriously hurt. Youve been seriously nagging me for ages i feel like your my parent! The things people say online about me are getting worse, i need a quite life away from..." you trailed off "me?"johnny asked, you just nodded, he grabbed you into a hug "no no no dont leave me i can tell them to stop, ill be better for you" "let me go" you pleaded, the tears streaming onto his shirt now. As if a switch went off he let go and stormed into the living room "fuck!" You could hear him shout, you took your chance and unlocked the door, pushing all your bags to your car "what the fuck!" You could still hear him screaming, trying to make sense of it all. Once your car was full you looked back to the front door that still lay open, no sight of johnny waiting to wave you goodbye. You left to go back to your own small apartment , seeing him appear at his door watching your car leave.

A week later you built up your courage to give johnny back a few shirts he had left at yours or just gave to you. You arrived at his front door and knocked it loud so that he couldnt use 'i didnt hear you' as an excuse. *CLICK* johnny answered the door, he hadnt shaved or been to sleep in ages it looked like, his hair all scruffy and house dark and stinky "what?" His voice croaked "just giving you back your stuff" he took the shirts from your hands and put them on the table in the house giving you a chance to glance around and the un cared for home "that all?" "Yeah i uh-" "bye" he grumbles over you, slamming the door in your face.

~

The bar tender slides you both your cans and the change, johnny cracks open a can and brings it to his lips "how are you doing?" You ask him "surviving" he gave a loose smile "definitely better than i was, that wasnt my proudest moment" he giggled drinking a little bit more of his drink "im sorry for leaving" the topic had gone sad and dense and you could feel the alcohol making a sour turn in your mood "do you regret it?" You took a quick swig of your cider and tapped your fingers off the can anxiously "you know... yeah i guess, but the comments about me where too much i dont think i could put myself through that again" he shakes his head "forget about all that shit, what about me? Do you regret leaving me?" He desperately searched your eyes, the same look that he showed when he saw u with the suitcases. Tears in both of your eyes now, the silence dragged out too long.

His mouth opened to say something but you quickly stopped him by crashing your lips off his, he brought his left hand up to cradle your face, running circles on your cheek with his thumb as he usually did. Very quickly his tongue slid into your mouth, the bitter taste of whiskey and vodka from his and the strong moon juice and cider from yours dancing between your mouths. He pulled away, his eyes dark with lust that you have never seen before "i need you darlin, like real bad" suddenly his voice was deep and southern,  the exact way that turned you on "ill call a cab" once again he shook his head "no i cant wait that long". With a tight grip of your hand johnny was dragging you from the bar to the single mens bathroom, bathroom sex sounded fun but you groaned knowing that mens bathrooms were already filthy enough.

As soon as the door slammed shut johnny was cornering you to the door kissing your neck greedily making you moan and hold the back of his head, encouraging him to continue. "Take your clothes off honey" he spoke with a rasp, moving himself away to remove his own clothes. Once you had finished you made your way to him, kissing his neck back while he took off his boxers revealing his dick that was already leaking and red "bend over the sink for me like a good girl" you obliged, resting your arms on the sink that was decaying at the corners, infront of you stood a mirror that had a crack near the top and was stained slightly. Through it you could see johnny walking up behind you, eyes filled with dangerous amounts of lust as he crouched under you.

An evil giggle sounded from under you, johnny gripped the back of your thighs tight while he slowly dragged the tip of his tongue through your folds making you gasp and buckle your knees. "Oh fuck" you whispered through your hand that covered your mouth. Slowly he started licking your clit to tease you, with every painfully slow lick your eyes would clench and moans fell out your mouth "johnny please... go faster" you forced out "pardon doll?" He knew fine well but used it as an excuse just to stop and made you huff "go faster" you desperately pleaded "faster?" "Please..." before you could finish speaking johnny shoved two fingers inside your dripping head and flicked his tongue over your clit repetitively making you quite literally scream in pleasure, gripping onto the sink for dear life.

“Johnny.. slow down” you gasped, struggling to even stand as he continued to plow his fingers into you and make out with your clit “dont act like you dont want this doll” he spoke from under you, he wasnt wrong. You wouldve been angry as shit if he stopped. Loud moans continued to bark out your mouth, your forehead started to hurt from resting it against the mirror.

Only a minute later he had you weaker, melting against the sink while your legs helplessly shook. Curses spilled out your mouth “fuck… fuck johnny im going to cum” “cmon darlin, cum around my fingers” with that ur moans where out of controll, he had suck a way with words. “Fuck im-“ your moan was cut off by confusion as he pulled out “johnny what the fuck?” He got up and put his hands on the sink infront of you, looking at you through the mirror with a evil smile “god you look so hot when your mad sweetheart” his hand slithered to your neck where he held it up, not hard but hard enough. With a quick movement he shoved his cock into you, making your eyes roll back and a guttural moan scream from you “you want everyone to hear you? Hear you like the little slut you are?” He mocked, continuing to slam his hips upward. You forgot that the bar wasn’t extremely busy and if anyone went near the bathroom door they would hear you without a doubt “hm? Is that a yes? You like them hearing me stuffing you with my fat cock?” You nodded feverishly earning a loud grunt from him “good girl”

Soon his strong thrusts became shakey, your mind somehow managing to catch on to the song in the back round, barracuda by heart the song that played when you and johnny first had sex. His grip in your hair tightened almost scalping you as his moans became louder, you looked at him through the mirror the realisation finally setting in. This is the last time, isnt it? You shed tears as you came around him without warning due to your moans becoming silent from the distracting thought “fuck sweetie, you feel amazing… where should i-“ “inside pj” he grabbed you into a hug as he continued to fuck you from behind, a clear reaction to the nickname that u hadnt called him in ages “fuck… oh shit” his grip tightened around your torso as you felt his warm cum filling you up.

He stayed like that for a few, hot breath making itself comfortable in the crease of your neck. You still silently cried without him noticing. “Fuck that was great” he finally spoke, pulling out and instantly cleaning you both up with the rough toilet paper that sat ontop of the toilet. “Yeah” you said blandly, pulling your clothes back on “doll? Look at me.” Reluctantly you faced him, red puffy eyes giving away that you were crying “ah shit, did i hurt you?” You just shook your head, biting your cheeks to keep in the agonising cries that you let out everyday “speak to me” johnny pulled on his boxers and sat on the toilet lid, you standing like a lost child at the door trying so hard not to cry. Instead of just standing there you walked over to him and sat on his lap, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I cant live without you” you felt pathetic, so utterly pathetic. Sitting in the lap of the man thats heart you broke, crying into his shoulder. A small sniffle sounded behind your ear and you felt his big arms wrap around you “you mean it?” “Pj, breaking up was the worse decision of my life. I beat myself up for it everyday” he just grasped you into a tighter hug, properly crying now breaking your heart by the second, you broke such a strong man. “Cmon honey, lets go back to my place yeah?” He sniffed “yeah lets go”

Once you both decided it was okay you left, a couple of people drawing you dirty looks “y/n!” Bam shouted from behind the both of you, you turned round to see him standing with a random guy “thus is ted hes your fuck bunny for tonight” thats when johnny turned round and bam finally realised what was going on “what the fuck!” He shouted as you and johnny ran to the door, calling a cab giggling like children.

The house was no different than you had left it apart from the pictures of you where not up on the walls anymore. You made your way to his bedroom and he offered you one of his teeshirts to wear to sleep. Spooning him was like finally taking a drug that you decided to stop for some reason, his scent invading you but you couldnt care less

“Night doll” he spoke softly in your ear with a sleepy raspy voice “night darling” you replied, earning a huge grin from him that you could feel forming at your neck….

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my dear, celebrating that its (almost) 2 weeks till we're back and feeling the need to cackle with you over today's events. Look you and I are salty benches at heart, so I'm unreasonably gleeful over the fact that not only did Timmy more or less say that TK-2 is a plot device, but he's a plot device specifically for the purpose of keeping Buck and Eddie apart so Eddie can "discover himself". Like he could have made him a plot device for the Gerrard of everything (and yeah, maybe he is aware enough that he realized two white men getting "affected" and needing to deal with the racist, misogynistic captain was too much but I doubt it) since he has some experience there but nope!! He specifically brought Tommy Boy up in the context of Buck and Eddie and you just have to laugh. Tommy is unofficially the new Marisol, no job or last name necessary he just has to be around. Meanwhile Eddie is missing Buck so badly he has to go to church about it, something he didn't even do about the literal nun he was dating, which also makes me giggle. All of this is of course is speculation at this point but fuck it, I'm having fun, family feud is in 5 days, and the best damn firefam crew is soon to be on my screen again, so cheers friend, here's to a new season of nonsense where we can get unhinged about two idiot boys while reserving our hater vibes for their crappy partners 🥂.

OH MY GOD HIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Today has been WILD because on the one hand, my irritated petty bench self is going "I hate being fucking right" about the fact that bees were just a distraction and we're apparently doing season 5 "it's all about Athena's past" opening instead of being focused on the 118 (and Athena) ACTUALLY doing first responding and saving people. I am gnashing my teeth over the knowledge that the show just is not committed to focusing on what truly made those first couple big disasters GOOD and memorable, and ENJOYABLE to watch. Instead we're doing 70s movie remakes for the fun promo material they provide and then turning into a detective show again instead of focusing on first response and disaster rescue. Which, it might all be fine and the plane stuff will also be about disaster rescue (tornado would have been better though as bees can act weird around weather phenomenons so at least they'd tie together sensibly), but I'm still gonna be 😒😒😒 about it until they prove me wrong.

ANYWAY.

On the other hand, my happy petty bench self has been *cackling* about Tim talking in depth about Eddie most of the paragraph after the most generic blanket statement about BT, like. That man has nothing to say about it because there's so little there he probably CAN'T say anything without spoiling the little that's going on.

The cast looks happier on set than they have in a LONG time, the plot devices are plot device-ing, hot priest is back?! as Eddie examines himself and who he is?! We're getting a meaty Henren/Madney storyline it sounds like, Bobby is gonna be a NIGHTMARE as technical advisor and I'm so excited to see that, plus the chance to do fake Buddie on Hotshots is RIGHT THERE and even if the show doesn't do it, I KNOW we are gonna get some super fun fics about it.

I'm feeling super 🙄 about the Gerrard stuff revolving around Buck because they have proven especially recently that they can't handle these storylines well and keep centering the white men instead of COC so like, not holding my breath it's gonna be done well. But also, they didn't have Buck do anything 98% of season 7 so he doesn't have anything else going on. If we're lucky, it gets handled well and will also lead to an examination of T's behavior, BT's relationship, and eventual reason for breaking up. But again, not holding my breath. This show just loooooves to pretend shitty people never did anything wrong so they don't have to spend time on the character, and then expect the audience to be on board with Evan "loyalty streak a mile wide and loves his family more than himself" Buckley to be perfectly fine dating them like they never hurt anyone and the notoriously nosy, bitchy, petty firefam to never ever bring it up or say anything bad about them ever. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

But overall, I'm excited and I know you always have my back when it comes to being an equal opportunity hater for the shitty people they keep sticking our boys with.

ALSO! In news that I've been saying forever but actually kind of mean it this time, I have been working on my Countdowns fic! It's currently over 12k words and I'm still only on part 2 (of like, 7? maybe?) and I need to rewatch 2x01 to clarify some stuff, but I AM writing! I planned to do more this summer, but we had some unexpected out of town trips and a new baby that needed some crochet projects done, and also I need to just get a little bitty tablet and keyboard so I can sneakily write at work now that I'm not so busy. It's not super edited so I haven't been sharing any snippets but maaaaaaybe if everyone asks nicely, I'll share a little something that I know I like and am going to keep.

It was such a delight to see your ask pop up today!! You've given me the serotonin to actually open my inbox and see what's in there, so everyone say "thank you Sleeping at Last Anon!" for any other asks I get around to answering today. And send me good vibes to work on this fic because I think if I can pull it off, it's gonna be something I'm super proud of. But I gotta actually, ya know, write it.

Cheers, bestie! I can't wait to watch this season with you!

[vaugarde]

Aim to be a Pokemon Master! Episode 11: The Rainbow and the Pokemon Master!

It's bad scoob.

I feel mean saying it's as bad as it is, but like... honestly, I don't see the need to hold back. This was a sendoff to one of the most recognizable anime characters of all time, a character that's been around for years and years and years, so his final episode should've been handled with the upmost care. Otherwise, it'd just be disrespectful to the fans AND the characters themselves.

So how did they handle it? Badly. Under the cut because this got really long. Sorry in advance if the readmore breaks.

The episode is a mess of "throw a dart at the wall" style quicktime events with a kinda tangentially related question about what being a Pokemon Master even means. Which, the more you think about it, makes the entire miniseries feel like a waste of time.

Again- I am fine with this miniseries being a relaxed time calling back to old filler episodes by just having Ash, Misty, and Brock chill out and interact with the world. But it really feels like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too with the Eon Duo plot. You cannot act as though the miniseries is just going to be cute filler and then act like there's actually an overarching plot that we should absolutely care about.

What makes the Eon Duo plot feel even weaker is that it barely plays a part in this final episode. It is the reason Ash is now home. Because... the Latis also went home, I guess. Yeah they don't really connect it all that well. But beyond that, and Ash reminiscing about them a couple of times, they have zero relevance to the final episode. It really makes the whole thing feel like a waste of time more than anything.

I'm three paragraphs in and I haven't even talked about the actual plot so let's do that. Although in my defense, the pacing in the episode is awful, so if anything, this post being poorly paced is kind of an artistic choice if you think about it.

So, Ash, Misty, and Brock all say goodbye again in kind of a hilariously underwhelming way (I get that they've done it before, these characters will most likely see each other again, and they were never going to do anything as impactful as the OS finale, but... still) and Ash just kinda fucks around at Professor Oak's the whole time. There is a missing Charmander quicktime event that has nothing to do with the conflict, but it gets Gary to appear and ask Ash if he's closer to becoming a Pokemon Master, which sets up the "main conflict". If you can call it that.

I actually think Gary presenting this question is a good idea. Ash has been chanting about being a Pokemon Master for so long, yet has never had an answer for what that means. So his original rival who used to put him down so often being the one to really make him think about it is nice.

But... why on earth did they put it in the final episode and not the first? Why not have the entire miniseries be about this question? Hell, the marketing made it seem like that was going to be the case by having Gary pose the question in the trailer, implying that this was going to be the main conflict of the miniseries... and then it isn't. It's just the characters dicking around for ten episodes, and THEN we ask "what's next?" and that's really weird to me. Now the conflict has no space to breathe because we've only got like 15 minutes to cover, and any answer he has is going to feel rushed.

Speaking of rushed- boy howdy is this episode just a series of sidequests all shoved out as quickly as possible! Team Rocket's shitty breakup plot has ONE SCENE where they all just sorta huff at each other before they reconcile for the simplest reason ever (they all want to capture Pikachu. Which they were doing anyways and there's no reason why they would think the other members weren't in on that after the breakup). The missing Charmander sideplot leads into nothing and is an episode prompt that was done better in several other episodes before this. Gary is shoved out of the plot as soon as he's said "Pokemon Master".

And then there's Pidgeot who gets its own paragraph because this part of the episode actively annoys me and it's probably the most mean I'll get... I just wanna say... does any actual fan of the show (IE: people who still watch the episodes, keep up with the show, not someone who just kinda accepts stuff like "team rocket are teenagers" at face value because they haven't seen the show in years) actually care about Pidgeot as a character? Because I don't. Pidgeot is nothing to me. Pidgeot has absolutely no substance as a character. All it did was try to eat Caterpie that one time, pop balloons, do search parties, and then leave.

It might seem silly to insist it has no character when it's an animal that can't talk, but that feels like an empty argument when the other Pokemon are so expressive, even if it's just in certain episodes. Even Primeape, who spent muuuch less time on the show, left more of an impression with it's character arc before it left.

But in any case, the reason it seems like the bird has stuck around is because of it's release episode, which caused several people to write clickbait articles about how Ash is actually this fucked up horrible trainer because "he said he'd be back for Pidgeot!! He ABANDONED Pidgeot!! I can't believe the show wants us to think he's good when he was so HORRIBLE to Pidgeot!!" Ignoring that the line was actually a dub-exclusive one and there was never any implication that Pidgeot wanted Ash to come back for it. The idea that Pidgeot was abandoned is fanon. There's nothing to correct. There's nothing to "redeem" about Ash because he did nothing wrong.

But of course JN LOVES its clickbait- I mean, respectful character cameos! So of course we have to spend time in this episode bringing Pidgeot back in the most underwhelming and contrived way possible (Team Rocket nabs Pikachu and Ash left his Pokemon behind for... some reason.... and Pidgeot is just there and helps out and Ash is like "Wow Pidgeot you should join the team again!"). It had to right this horrible sin the OS committed! We gotta redeem Ash in the final episode you guys!! Now all those clickbait articles- I mean loyal dedicated fans are satisfied!!

So basically, they canonized something that people who actually watch the show don't actually care about, because we gotta get those clicks in I guess. Keep in mind, there are other Pokemon that got released that could've used the spotlight way more, that actual fans would have appreciated a lot more than this. Like I dunno... Ambipom? A character that was notoriously done dirty by her original season? Butterfree, a Pokemon more people love and remember? (We even got a glimpse of that in the JN finale so like... obviously it was a plot they knew people would have liked to see) Hell, why not bring it around to the first JN episode and have Pikachu reunite with Kangaskhan? Have a little cohesion and really make the journey come full circle?

Nah, obviously the bird no one cares about beyond misconceptions is more important here.

The actual reunion isn't even good. Usually, when a Pokemon returns to the team, it's an event. It's a stinger, like when Gliscor came back during the Sinnoh league and ended off the episode, and then the beginning of the next one builds off from that. Here... it just kinda happens. Pidgeot rejoins the team and then the episode runs off to the next sideplot with no space to let it breathe. Nothing about the plot would change if Pidgeot just stayed with the Pidgey flock. Wow. What fanservice. They really did care about this plotline you guys.

Anyways. So after that happens, while Delia is trying to give Ash the ugliest shoes I've ever seen (poor woman, her son runs out on her so much that she hadn't had time to make anything better) Ash and Pikachu get stuck in a rainstorm, and they watch the same gen 1 Pokemon they've oogled at all season, go "wow the world is HUGE!!!!" again because of course they do, and Ash is like "Well, I didn't actually feel the champion thing all that much. I think being a Pokemon Master is about loving all Pokemon. So let's go love more Pokemon!" and then he takes the shoes without saying bye to his mom and then he's out of the show forever.

... What

He's been.... he's been doing that the whole time though? Why are they acting like this is an epiphany and this is something Ash has to change if he wants to be a Pokemon Master? Shouldn't he be one already by that logic? If Ash didn't care about becoming champion, why did we spend so much time on that? Doesn't that undermine a lot of the show?

What was the point of any of this?

And I think that's my main issue with this miniseries: there is no point to it. It barely feels like a finale, it just makes the weakest gestures possible to make it seem like a finale, and then it just ends. It's a mess.

It feels less like a respectful conclusion to the character, and more like... "Eh we're gonna try something new next season, but we don't wanna leave Ash off the table if it bombs, so let's just kinda put him on the sideburner and wait and see". It's non-committal. It's frustrating.

"Well, why is that so bad? Pokeani always clings to the status quo, they never let the characters age and grow, why would they stop now?" Well... because it's literally the end of Ash and Team Rocket's time on the show? Because they ARE about to change the status quo by bringing in an all new cast and setting? Because this whole miniseries was advertised as an ending and celebration of Ash, and therefore the expectation is that something substantial has to happen to justify him not being in the show anymore?

Ash not changing after DP or XY or SM is a little strange, but it's also fine because he's gotta keep on trucking for several episodes. Part of the point of Pokeani was it's longevity, so keeping the general setup and characters the same was part of the point. But now, there's no expectation for Ash to keep up the same routine. He's passing on the mantle to Liko. Why SHOULD he stay the same? Why not take the chance to substantially change up his life to justify him leaving? Why leave Team Rocket in such a depressing spot where they apparently just keep chasing Pikachu their whole lives when that's not actually what their fans wanted?

Why end the character's arc the exact same way the other series probably would have ended it? What exactly is the point of ending it at all or having a celebration in that case?

This episode isn't the worst thing ever, I don't even know if it's one of my least favorites, but it is definitely one of the more frustrating ones to me. It could have been good, but... why challenge anything if we don't want to?

Very disappointing. I'm sad this is the end for Ash and Pikachu. They deserved better.

Oh also some psychic damage for reading this far. I have to end off this long ass project with something worthwhile

[tarashima]

I'm honestly just gonna come out and say it, and I don't mean to dismiss anyone who disagrees with me (with some exceptions, but I know those people don't follow me, even have me blocked).

But I've despised and been deeply disappointed with the Revolver event in Duel Links. So deeply that I doubt I will ever pick up the app again.

Keeping rant under read-more.

While there were things that I genuinely enjoyed, like the music during Rev's duels, hearing Shunsuke-san again, Rev's beautiful sprite and receive a lot of goodies (like gorgeous sleeves and icons ♥), there were a lot of things I actively disliked, and those were too many to save this event and make it the funny experience I'd hoped for ever since VRAINS world was released (even announced, let's be real).

The writing felt off from the start, with a lot of things that were strange, especially since the story of VRAINS world has been marketed as a follow-up of the anime, a s4 we never got (or just second half of s3). A follow-up for me meant Revolver would take off where he ended: guarding the network and make sure everyone stayed safe, actively stopping something like the Lost Incident to ever happen again.

Seems like the writers, as well as the localisation team, had forgotten all that and instead went with Revolver's s1 persona, once again making him the antagonist that needed to be defeated to protect the Ignis (or well, just Ai). Not only that, they also took away any kind of character development Revolver went through during the last half of the anime. Something that was only made worse by the localisation team, who amongst many things made the deliberate choice of changing lots of Playmaker's dialogues about saving Revolver to be about Ai instead, as well as changing LOTS of Revolver's dialogues over all.

Another example of a thing that deeply pissed me off and completely crushed me with disappointment was the reference to the rain duel between Revolver and Soulburner. The writers wrote it as it never happened, while also simultaneously saying it did, in fact, happen, as they told the two variations paralleled with each other. Then they had it ended with what seems to be the shitty dub-dialogue (let's stop pretending it ever was a dub, it was nothing but a parody) and no conclusion for either of the characters. And I'm sorry, but what in the actual hell?!

They've created nothing but plot holes that won't be easy to fill in the future, telling a story that is such a disservice to Revolver's character while also not portraying him properly, not even in the original Japanese versions (I've seen so many Japanese and Korean fans being confused about this event as well, some even going as far as outright saying "I'm glad I still like him despite this"). The fact that there are people out there judging Revolver's character and actions based on this event is disgusting, and once again makes me say that you're all free to hate him as much as you want but this isn't even Revolver, you're hating a version of him that didn't exist in later canon. Calling it post-canon is an insult.

Even worse, all the other characters have felt like post-canon versions, with at the very least decent writing, yet it still making some sort of sense.

I saw nothing of that here, and I'll be forever salty about them messing it up so badly. You can use his second avatar as much as you want; if you deliberately keep him stuck in the season 1 mindset and actively ignores that s2 and s3 (except the last duel between Ai and Playmaker, as well as bits and pieces of the last duel between Revolver and Soulburner) happened, you're not giving Revolver a post-canon story. You're making up an antagonist to fit your purposes and only uses Revolver's face for it. And that's such a disservice to his character and I'll never forgive the team who worked on this event (except Shunsuke-san and the music composer, they did an amazing job ♥).

I still finished the event completely as well as maxed Rev's level (something I haven't done since DM and maxed up Yuugi), only because I love him. But the sadness I feel about all this can't be ignored.

Again, I doubt I'll ever pick up Duel Links again after this, and I said as much in the survey afterwards. I usually try to keep a somewhat friendly tone when filling in surveys after events, but this?

Ohohoho, they got to hear how badly they messed up. And I was not nice. Because they didn't deserve it.

I'm done. I hate it. Get the fuck away from me. I was afraid this would happen.

I'm sticking to the merchandise in the future. At least they know what the fans want/never thought they want but definitely wanted and appreciated. TCG bros can keep their rotten excuse of an app.

Also, as much as I love Borreload Datastorm Furious Dragon, you can't fucking label it SR when I got 10 copies of it, and wasn't alone in doing so. I've gathered less of NORMAL cards that I did with Borreload. Morons...

Oh, and I might as well mention how much it actually irked me to constantly put up with not only Varis but also Roken Kogami when those aren't the names that should be used. Again, it's not a fucking dub, it's a joke for people who the creators deem stupid. Burn it to the ground for all I care and never talk about it again.

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Roundup: tumblr prompts

The last roundup for tumblr prompts, unless tumblr unshadow ban me.

Tsukihime

Masochist!Akiha/Sadist!Shiki doing some violent thing. Actual sex is optional.

Melty Blood

Satsuki's wish for her old school life back gets misinterpreted by OSIRIS revised pretty badly, and the Back Alley Alliance find themselves trapped inside a stimulated version of a shitty High-school Drama they must play along with the plot of in order to escape

Fate/Stay Night

smut, dubcon, Archer and inappropriate workplace relationship involving power imbalance between superior and subordinate in his time as a mercenary. He was secretly considered attractive by his comrades and many often asked for sexual favor to him (considering theyre in the middle of a battlefield) and it might be just my perverted brain but I imagine he WOULD do it, setting aside his personal discomfort. This leads to his superior to take a notice on him and... monopolize him and stuff ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

age gap, Taiga is a cougar with her eyes set on Shirou

been thinking about the whole trans shirou thing.... regular shirou mana transfers with fem archer and is really confused about wanting to fuck her or BE her

Fate/Grand Order

Rokka and guda hanging out with (and confusing the hell out of) Rikka (from the who dunnit)

Morgan and Mash. Praise kink. (Shenanigans optional but not required)

Smut, Draco being the Beast of depravity can't be satisfied easily. Chaldea prepares a team made of Medb, Kiara, Jacquess(Foreigner), Kama and Gudako to try to finally satisfy the Beast. In the end they all lose to Draco's Cock

During the attack on Chaldea by Anastasia and Rasputin mash became very injured and entered a coma, Ritsuka is forced to make a contract with a new servant, the one he summons is the Caster class servant, Goetia

Medea and Jason reluctantly admit they appreciate each other’s company and start dating again

smut, Olga and Guda reunite and proceed to have so much sex even Medb and Kiara thinks they're overdoing it

During the submarine event, Yang Guifei suggested that Nemo cleared the bridge to have some “alone time” with Gudao. So I guess just basically a fic where that was the case.

smut, Olga getting finger banged by Gudako, just becoming an incoherent mess of moans as she cums for the 8th in the last 8 all while sucking on Gudako's titties

musashi going on a quest for udon. no context, just udon.

Rokka gets a kiss goodbye from Gudako. And maybe one from Mash. And maybe some from the servants too. Maybe even a little more then a goodbye kiss, from the master and company

As Chaldea faces ORT, they realize it is helpless they can't do anything, this is their end, but Nitocris gives a suggestion to the servants and the staff, a ritual made in time immemorial where humanity sacrificed their own lives in the name of their king to give him immortality and defeat ORT, the lifes of servants having much more power than that of humans, they believe with this their Master might become strong enough to surpass the power of ORT. In other words, for the salvation of human order, Gudako must lose her humanity and Become a Beast through the same methods as Camazotz

I'm a simple lass I would simply like something of Carmilla treating a girl like a juice box

Mordred and Baobhan Sith having a moment of solidarity over the fact that Mash is fucking their mother. Bonus point if this is the first conversation they have where they aknowledge that they're sort-of siblings.

Smut, arjuna alter decides arjuna archer needs to relax a bit and tops him. just something confusing and horny but also kind of sweet. bonus points for frotting and sloppy kisses

Any fandom

since it's mermay, why not something to do with mermaids

I want a blunt rotation, and not just any blunt rotation, the Ideal Circle. Not my of own fave characters of course, the authors, I want to see what your write from this. Choose whatever characters you want either on their own or smoking with yourself if you like, but I want to see what happens. Optional side quest of the most nightmarishly bad tripsitter out of the nasuverse you can think of, doesn't have to be involved in the main quest. Most importantly have fun!

Need more tentacles! Preferably with Gudako! Or Eresh! Or Mash! Or Shuten! Or any of the female cast!

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 29)

Welcome back to Chapter 29, where the nicest thing I can say about Rei’s shitty attempts to (not really) take care of himself is “at least he doesn’t live in a sewer and sleep in a literal coffin”!

…seriously, I created this disaster boy and even I’m frustrated with him here. Arrrgh!

As always, spoilers (including spoilers for chapters beyond this one) under the cut!

We open this chapter with what will be the final screw in the coffin of Bara’s revenge, mwa ha ha! when Teru’s band shows up to an event to promote their album to find a line reaching around the block and a poster (designed by Rei) much larger than the one for the omnibus CD Bara’s band was selected for. This will be the last passing mention of that CD OR Bara’s band in the book, by the way. They’re just not a threat anymore. 😁

The event itself features a bunch of stupid questions that used to honestly drive me crazy back in the day. Who cares what the band’s favorite clothing brands are? I want to know about the underlying angst beneath their lyrics, dammit! LOL But there is one person who has apparently gotten wind that SOMETHING is up regarding the bands future… good for her for asking the hard-hitting questions?

And then we move on to December 23, the former Emperor’s birthday. *sigh* I miss the former Emperor, not only because he was a peace-loving, grandfatherly figure, but because his birthday was on December 23, which was a much more conveniently placed national holiday than the current Emperor’s birthday.

As mentioned in the book, when neither December 24 or 25 fell on a weekend, a lot of people would celebrate a Japanese-style (I.e. couple-centric) Christmas on the 23rd. In 2000, the 23rd was a Saturday and the 24th a Sunday… so fairly easy for people to celebrate. That also makes the 23rd a great date for an in-store event to celebrate the launch of Teru’s album!

This was completely coincidental, by the way… I’d already decided that Teru was going to take Rei out of town for Christmas Eve, so I Googled the relevant calendar and… boom. Hello, plot point!

So, it’s vaguely mentioned in passing that Rei is also getting ready to go out as Teru is preparing for the event. This isn’t SUPER unusual; Rei does go out, maybe not quite as often since he’s been working on the album having a lot of bad pain days recently, but the album is finished, and if anything Teru would be happy that he’s feeling good enough to have plans of his own. 

As always, anything that’s not explicitly on the page is not canon, and each reader is free to fill in the blanks on their own, but I think he’s going out here to buy or to pick up the pendant he’s eventually going to give to Teru on New Year’s Eve. He doesn’t intend it to be a goodbye present at this point—maybe just a Christmas present or a “good luck with the record deal, I support you” present… but of course that all changes, and what happens here is definitely what pushes Rei over the edge.

A couple of reviewers complained about the way Rei didn’t take very good care of himself, but honestly I don’t really know what they expected from a Phantom retelling. At least he doesn’t live in a sewer and sleep in a literal coffin? IDK. But I did try to show that not taking care of yourself has consequences. I don’t think it’s anything super dramatic that happens to him here: he’s just pushing himself too hard, not using the right mobility aids in the right way, and he falls badly on the ankle that’s not in great shape to begin with. Someone gets concerned and calls an ambulance, and I imagine Rei protests but he literally can’t get up so… he ends up in the hospital and they call Chizuru to come and get him.

I don’t think it’s particularly significant that Chizuru is still listed as his emergency contact instead of Teru… probably just not something you think to update without a specific reason. As to why Chizuru isn’t available… well, it’s the Emperor’s birthday/Christmas Eve weekend, she says she’s not in Tokyo, and Teru hears a man’s voice with her on the other end of the line… I think she finally IS moving on (which honestly makes it pretty shitty what Rei sort of indirectly does to her too… she’s totally going to feel guilty and go back to taking care of him full time, but I also think her partner is understanding and she eventually gets a happy ending, too.)

So she calls Teru, and Teru thinks he can take care of it before his event, but he has trouble finding the hospital and then it takes longer than he expects and he ends up being late.

I’ve written before about my loathing and fear of hospitals, particularly Japanese hospitals… things have gotten much better as younger generations of doctors and nurses have come in, and as younger generations of patients have started to demand more in the way of things like informed consent, second opinions, and mental health considerations, but ESPECIALLY at the time, being hospitalized felt like being in prison… and for Rei, of course, hospitals are also going to be associated with a lot of trauma.

So, the asshole doctor here is probably the single worst human being in the book. There are definitely a few things that could be considered microaggressions or unconscious bias… no one considering the possibility that Teru might be queer, Kiyomi and Seika being awkward around Rei, Teru thinking it weird that Seika chooses to live in Koreatown. But none of those are **consciously** discriminatory… this doctor most definitely is. He doesn’t speak directly to Rei—i.e. the actual patient—the entire time, assumes Teru is a “caregiver” and even when he says he’s not keeps talking to him like he is, etc. etc. Needless to say, he was based on many, many shitty doctors I’ve seen here, and was actually pretty cathartic to write.

Don’t actually put too much weight on this guy’s medical advice, by the way. I did as much research as I could, but it was all internet-based. Unlike with the music stuff, I didn’t have any firsthand sources to ask about medical details. Also, he’s a jerk.

So, once Teru sees that Rei is not badly injured, some of his concern sort of turns to annoyance. The person he loves is hurt, and Teru himself is late for the album launch event, and all of this was PERFECTLY PREVENTABLE… or maybe not. But if Rei had been using a crutch and wearing an ankle brace and had STILL gotten hurt, I think Teru would’ve been a little more sympathetic.

Now, I do understand what Rei was thinking. He was having a good day, and there haven’t been many of those lately. He’s worried that he IS going to need more help and more support as time goes by (which, he is… I mean, that’s partly just aging and partly what happens when some parts of your body have to overcompensate for others, but it’s understandable that he struggles to accept that). And so when a day comes when he feels like he’s gotten a little bit “better” again, he wants to go back to the way things were “before”… but of course he wasn’t really taking the right measures to keep himself safe in the first place, so that kind of backfires.

And this is when I think Rei decides that he has to leave Teru… because what he’s feared has now actually happened. His disability has DIRECTLY hurt Teru’s career. Of course, that’s not really true. It wasn’t (only) his disability, but his failure to take care of himself that led to the fall. Rei doesn’t really see that, though… that yes, he did cause Teru to be late for his event, but it was his STUBBORNNESS that caused it more than anything else.

So after the event, Teru comes home and decides to spoil the surprise of his little romantic getaway a day early, because he doesn’t know whether Rei will want to go, or be able to go. He offers to take the wheelchair that’s been in Rei’s bedroom forever but Teru has never seen used… and that would probably be a really smart choice at this point (aside from Teru’s passing concern that he wasn’t expecting this and hasn’t booked accessible train tickets or hotel room, but accommodations could probably be made) but of course Rei refuses… sigh. Even though I wrote this, it’s kind of frustrating to see him blatantly refuse to learn, even when the universe pretty much slapped him in the face with a lesson a few hours earlier.

He does want to go, though… maybe he’s not 100% sure yet, but definitely starting to think that this will be their first and last trip together. 😭

[aspiringsophrosyne]

Episode 12: The Hope Devourer.

Last show of the night, folks. We may be getting new trailers for new shows at some point soon, but we can't be sure for now. Until then, enjoy. And make sure to toss out your snack boxes on the way out.

The Good.

Dreams.

I'm happy to see from the watch along that Sam and Travis appreciate the delivery of "KragHAMMER!" as much as I do. I'm also happy that there was a nod to Kraghammer period; it was their first on-screen town and dungeon.

This series has so far done justice to how Critical Role would lean on dreams to develop atmosphere, character, and plot. Scanlan's is sillier than Pike's, but it's still effective. And it's even a little ominous, despite how weird it is.

The Dragon Chase.

Even if it did eventually shake him off, Grog's stubborn refusal to let go was a fun little roller coaster of a sequence. We get another example of how strong Grog is from it. And we also get a funny bit where the dragon turns Grog into George of the Jungle by dragging him through multiple trees. And then he's still hanging on.

I appreciate that the cast specified they wanted their characters to get badly hurt. In a setting where there's healing magic and incredible danger, that's essential. Otherwise, the audience won't believe anyone can actually die. Grog's crash landing is an example of that done well.

Vax and Scanlan's escape is a neat little nod to, well, stuff in the stream. Throughout that dragon fight, Scanlan repeatedly used his Hand to....fist the dragon's wounds. He made a way out for himself this way...and then described his attacks as such after for flavor. Honestly almost felt bad for the dragon after all that.

Taking Flight.

This next moment is slightly different. While timely intervention from the Matron did help Vax here in the stream, he didn't earn his wings until further down the road. However, this is an excellent example of a change that helps this shorter version of the story. It's an ideal continuation of the payoff to Vax's season-long angst that the last episode's communion initiated just in concept.

But in execution! Vax fully accepting his destiny, the flashback to the blood pool and the threads of life, the inclusion of the Raven from the opening titles (who I was expecting to tie into things but not that soon), and then the absolutely breathtaking sight of Vax's new wings unfurling. All while the music builds up to the show's theme. No notes. No critiques. Everything about it is immaculate. When Scanlan says: "I am so in love with you right now." he speaks for all of us.

The Fight.

Loved seeing Vax zoom around like a bear on cocaine in an acid cavern with a top-notch spooky atmosphere. (The underlighting!) Loved seeing everyone come in after him. Loved how, as Liam points out in the watch along, the fight is moment after moment of Vox Machina jumping in to keep another member from biting it. Loved seeing Umbrasyl's underhanded personality come out in his using Vax as a shield; Matt described him as the "shitty weasel" of the dragons, and this quote from the campaign about sums him up:

"Bravery means nothing. Survival and victory mean EVERYTHING!!"

In hindsight, it was a good call for Vax to point out how the dragons' wrath has touched on all of their pasts in some way. Not only was the stream story longer for its audience, but it was also longer for its characters; the Vestige hunt alone took in-game months. This season's timespan appears to be three or four weeks at the very most.

Months would give the dragons' influence time to reach Westruun, Syngorn, and other places of significance to the protagonists. Here it's all happening so fast that these events seem more meaningful. So the lampshade Vax hangs keeps it from taking us out of the story and ties it into his arc with the Matron. Plus, it's a nice nod to how the Dungeon Master tied everyone's stories into the Conclave so they'd all have stakes in the conflict. 

And it might be a good set-up for some of the weird coincidences in the second campaign...

That was a clever little move having Umbrasyl use Mythcarver's ability to find the other Vestiges. And thus, those who equipped them. Counter to this, it was very satisfying to see Mythcarver used to blast the dragon's eyeball off. Scanlan's call of "Two!" was reminiscent of his bardic abilities that could distract the enemy enough so that they rolled too low to hit an ally. The sword and Scanlan harmonizing only added to the moment, and it was a fun call back to when he first got it. 

I'm sure that joke won't come back to bite Scanlan and Vox Machina in their collective asses. No chance of that. 

That key? The prevailing fan theory is it's the key to a particular mansion. If that's the case, it's great to see it included. And we have more than one mansion in this series; I can't help but wonder how the other will come to be if this is how Scanlan makes his. 

Raishan.

The little montage of other characters is a sweet way to close out the season. Reminds us that this world holds other people besides Vox Machina, and for good or ill, our protagonists had an influence on them, and the world as a whole. Kind of a nice little nod to the stream episode Hope.

Cree. Summer. Kills. It. Dead. Of course, if you've seen any cartoon in the last twenty years, you know this, but it's always good to be reminded. Raishan has an earned arrogance: the countenance of a woman whose holding all the cards and knows it. There's a thick layer of contempt for our heroes and another thicker level under that for the primary target of her ire and machinations. She's evil for sure, but Cree gets across that she knows things: dangerous things. Things our heroes are going to need to know.

The deadliest member of the Conclave has arrived. 

And what has she there to talk about? Something more specific than what she came to talk about in the campaign. Tying the Conclave to Ascension sets some future things up pretty well. We'll see where all that goes from here.  

The Bad. (Or at least, the not-so-great.)

Scanlan.

Again, Scanlan's pushing for them not to fight the dragon, even though he was the first to acknowledge and accept they were fighting Krieg. I'm going to get into this more in another post, but....suffice it to say, that's been a consistently odd choice this season. 

Similarly, this theme about running from problems comes up again. It does fit Scanlan, given his lifestyle, but it still bothers me it's such a prominent story beat this season when it only fits Scanlan from what we've seen. 

And even so, this idea is undercut by how the battle turns out. It's because Scanlan isn't in the fray with everybody else, he's able to first find a temporary hiding spot for the rest of the group and then take advantage of Umbrasyl's distraction to nab Mythcarver and finish him off. I would suspect that this is a deliberate set up for some things down the line....but looking at how things have gone so far I have my doubts. For now it's ambiguously irksome.

Favored Enemy.

I'm disappointed with how they handled Vex having a dragon sense that could pick up on Krieg's deception. It felt cheap. Yes we're going to establish that Vex has this ability....that doesn't work in similar circumstances later in the series. It's like the opposite of a Chekov's Gun.

And they really could've done something interesting with it! Have Vex sense a dragon is nearby. Have her start to freak out, the camera cutting from one person to another as she desperately tries to figure out who it could be. The music get's tenser, everybody else is getting worried for her. She gets more and more desperate....Only for it to be too late: everyone starts to pass out. The interloper has already drugged the rest. 

(Depending on when Raishan made the switch you'd have to move things around so they aren't in the same room before Vex realizes at the end, but I think that effort would've been worth it.)

Even keeping the scene as is, they could've played things a little better. Raishan pointing out how Vex's ability can't detect her implies she's faced many people with similar skills, and she's still standing. It didn't help them take her down. That sets her up as a formiddable opponent. However, I think Raishan's savvy enough to not reveal she knows which one of them has that trick; it'd potentially give away when she was spying on them and who and where she was when she was doing it. If nothing else, I would've changed it so all she reveals is that she believes someone in the group has the ability to sense dragons. 

Nitpicks

I liked that Vestiges became a more focal part of the plot here in the series, but I was a little confused by Ripley and Umbrasyl's plan. The idea was to have their own champions that wielded the legendary equipment for them, right? Didn't they already have that for the Titanstone knuckles with Kevdak? Why not just use that guy instead of stealing the knuckles from him to give to someone else? Did they see him as unreliable? Just didn't like him? It's never stated. 

~*~

Again, Kiki turns into a bird unprompted, recognizing how useful the form would be. (That still bugs me, I'm sorry.)

~*~

While masterfully delivered, Pike's line about Scanlan and Vax's plan seems a little out of place. After all, she didn't even know they had a plan. A line like "They thought that was a good idea!? Go up its ass!?" might've worked better.

~*~

A little sad we couldn't get Shale here. Probably wouldn't have worked, I know. But damn it would've been fun to have Chris Perkins on. 

~*~

No One Down, which was an incredible little moment in the stream that I'm sad we didn't get to see.

"~*~"

Kind of wish they'd done more to establish how fitting Mythcarver is for Scanlan, and how his song powered it up. They can't use the term "bard" and I don't think they want to (meta-gaming)pigeon hole these characters anyway, but leaning a little more into the song/legend/bardic nature of the sword would've made it's incredible attack in response to Scanlan's singing make more sense.

~*~

Just pointing out again that the twin connection could've been better telegraphed before this point so that a moment like this (where Vex can't tell what's going on with Vax) would hold more weight.

That's the end of the season. Now the real fun begins.

Because now we get to put all our evidence together and talk about what's great about The Legend of Vox Machina so far...and what's holding it back from even greater heights. See you soon!

[thrillingtremors]

an event starter call, of sorts. i'm not capping this but... you will have to pick whether you'd like the mists or the safer option with a reply or something!

what you are signing up for below the cut. please read through quickly to the end first gjsdlgjkls

mists

on today's episode of "how badly do you want your day to go," we have a fun assortment of, well, Bad Times. did you want to run for your life from any of a number of potential murderous monsters (i'll be drawing from the various original killers of dead by daylight, including danny himself in costume because lmao pointing spiderman meme.jpg) while trying to avoid being skewered on giant hooks that stick out of the ground? or just wanted to witness something more mundane, like jed's shitty personal life? fun stuff, i know. there's some more specific memories / future stuff i could toss out for him, but i'd prefer that be with some discussion and plotting ahead of time if you wanna talk in my IMs.

"safe" paths

i'm sorry for taking you to florida with me but yeah. this will be like... the chill route.

expectations / warnings: for the mists, violence, gore, murder, blood, etc the Works - i'd prefer you be okay with these happening in the background at the least. being injured by something / someone else is a possibility as well, but obviously with discussion beforehand. as for the paths / safer areas, there's nothing to really worry about here aside from some terrible conversation and maybe avoiding a really dangerous tree or gator or. or we can watch the lizards while sweating to death. no violence here, though.

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I think the problem is the bad writing of the game overall, I have serveral theories of why it was that way, but they're not relevant as the problem is that the writing is lazy.

First time I see someone else point out Cait's backstory. It just doesn't make sense, it's a as if they're trying to argue that her parents were bad, but not "that bad". Which is absurd since she isn't the first companion that was a slave on Fallout.

Codsworth iirc mentions that he tried to go to Concord and was attacked, so he decided to not leave Sanctuary as a security measure. Which is just as dumb, cause there's no way no one ever went to Sanctuary before. If Mama Murphy and Preston knew of Sanctuary, other people must have know.

Curie was done dirty, probably one of the companions that had the worst treatment. Imagine being a robot trapped for 200 years, yearning to be human and to be able to learn and experience new things; and the first thing the fandom does with you is sexualize you for being inexperienced and naive. It just sits so badly with me how the SS knows that she has 0 knowledge about the human world, and you can still romance her and have sex with her. Like wtf dude?

Being honest, Danse seemed to be the mandatory faction companion. Which again, doesn't make sense cause he leaves the BoS. He isn't a good synth companion, and he isn't a good BoS companion either. Also, where the fuck did he get that Enclave armor?

Deacon feels like a liberal version of what a redeemed fascist is, like Bioshock Infinite on steroids. Like the guy one day woke up from his lynchings thinking "what if this thing bad cause if happened to me?". I actually chose to tell me that I didn't believe him, it just sounded so stupid. The theory of him being the LoneWanderer sucks, cause they're so cool on FO3, there's no way they would turn this lame. Feels like they tried to create Boone again and failed.

I actually like Hancock. But he's actually one of those "mandatory race companion thing" so, there wasn't a lot to work with.

McCready feels weird. I cannot stop thinking how he's this kid from Fo3 and everything feels so out of place for him. A kid who's on age of walking and living on his own? A dead wife? A career as a gunner? And this guy is 23?

Nick is so very well written on far harbor, they should have added that on the base game, or not try to shoehorn the one of the main game. Like, the ghoul thing? The perfectly placed tombstone? They had the skills to create a good plot, but they just decided they didn't want to.

Preston was another character they did dirty. Is also worthwhile how he is the oy companion of color in the game, and they gave him shitty lines and plot. I like him so so much, and it frustrates me how they wasted his potential. He had experienced a traumatic event, is the last of his faction, and tells you he is suicidal, and the game just decides to ignore that.

Piper had a good plot, but they didn't do anything good with it. She could've grown up into someone that defends people like her dad, and instead spends her days creating panic on DiamondCity like a conspiracionist with a podcast.

Biggest complaints about each companion

Warning, reference to in-game dark subject matter.

This is subjective and mostly me wishing for a more thoughtful story, with themes beyond robot racism.

Cait: TDLR; Her backstory is too much for how it's handled

It feels like Cait got thrown every bad thing she could have. With trauma in characters, less is more, and in Cait's case, it doesn't help that her writing is more interested in her trauma than who she is as a person. Like Cait only matters as a character because of what she went through and what that demonstrates about the wasteland, rather being a person first.

I would like to point out, her parents waited until she was 18 to sell her. Because, apparently, age of consent matters to sex slavers. It demonstrates a lack of commitment to the dark topic, which usually means you should tone it down. Leave one aspect, and keep the other. Abusive parents or slavery, not both.

Since Cait is our only basegame raider companion, you could use her to humanize raiders by showing how the cycle of trauma creates them. "But Gage—" is a little bitch.

Codsworth: TDLR; Focuses too much on his pre-war relationship to the player

What was Codsworth doing those 200 years? Did he just hang out in Sanctuary? Did no one ever come to Sanctuary in the meantime? Codsworth has no relation to the plot or world beyond Sole.

I think Codsworth should have had a quest about how he went out and tried to help where he could, but now doesn't know where those people are, and wants to know what became of them. Something to give Codsworth a connection to the wasteland. Or maybe Codsworth shouldn't have been the Sole Surivor's robot at all, just one that wandered into Sanctuary and met them. Then you could have a point that the first human the Sole saw after freezing (Kellogg) was cruel, but the first 'soulless' machine was kind, which makes a point about the main plot and the idea that being human doesn't make you 'human.'

Curie: TDLR; Should have been related directly to the main plot

Curie is a robot that is put inside a synth—which is, biologically, completely human in all but a chip in their head and the circumstances of their creation—and is totally fine. She learns to breathe, gets thoughts and feelings in a way a Ms. Nanny wouldn't, and handles sensations without bricking.

Send this bitch to the Institute and BOS, are you kidding me? Curie is walking proof of synths being more than machines. She has wants, imagination, potentially even dreams and nightmares. This is never brought up by anyone.

Also, Curie is a robot, and then inhuman, but still a person, and she uses science and her compassion to help the wasteland, where those who would destroy or enslave her use it to further their own egos.

Danse: TDLR; MAKE HIM SAY SORRY TO NICK AND HANCOCK

Danse's real character arc starts at his final affinity post BB, and then it doesn't go anywhere. He never learns to accept himself, or synths, or ghouls. Danse is a character that shows the terrible function of 4 Affinity Talks, because he needs, like, 10 of the things.

Danse needed his likes/dislikes updated after BB, interactions with Nick and Hancock, and a proper character arc where he unlearns his worst traits and the BOS's bullshit.

Deacon: TDLR; Dead wife? Really?

Can Deacon not just be a goofball man who used to be a bigot, and now works hard to help the people he hurt? Because Barbara and her death implies that Deacon didn't change because it was the right thing to do, but because bigotry personally affected him.

If there must be a death, make it that his community tore itself apart trying to find synths among them. Y'know, like...a witch hunt? In Salem, maybe? Since we didn't do anything interesting with Salem, one of the most interesting places in the USA? Deacon sees this and sees that it doesn't matter if synths are human or not, hatred will inevitably hurt anyone, because it doesn't actually care who you are. Hatred doesn't need a reason, only a target. The Synth plot should have been an allegory for McCarthyism instead of slavery, change my mind.

Hancock: TDLR; He's a historical LARPER that doesn't do anything in terms of a narrative.

No, Todd. You can't make John Hancock a ghoul and call it an OC.

Hancock could have had a story about identity crisis, idolatry, and trying to escape your past. We also get hints at a complex political issue in Goodneighbor about the push-and-pull between the desire for total freedom/anarchy, but the need for some kind of law and order. Hancock has a casual friendliness, and acts like 'one of the people,' but he is the mayor. There's tension there. Can your leader be your friend? Can your friend call all the shots while still being on equal footing with you? Can you lead a group of people who look up to you as a hero, and still retain modesty and not subconsciously separate yourself?

I like Hancock, he's fun, he has a lot of interesting narrative stuff. But he doesn't do anything with it. It could have been a nice parallel with Elder Maxson, too.

MacCready: TDLR; Small inconsistencies + dude, go get your son???

Mac doesn't ever go back to Duncan, and Duncan never comes to the Commonwealth. I understand that the former is for game play reasons, but the latter feels like the writers forgot that Duncan exists.

MacCready has some issues with the likes/dislikes. I think they're mistakes instead of intended, but still. For example, in the Vault 81 quest. MacCready likes letting Austin die. He dislikes it if you give the cure.

There's also Sheffield, the soda addict in Diamond City. MacCready claims to have never seen someone with a sugar addiction, but Zip, from Little Lamplight, had an addiction.

Mac is mostly fine, aside from these inconsistencies. The Dead Wife thing sucks, but I allow it because it's pretty fundamental to his story, rather then being tacked on for sad points.

Nick: TDLR; Eddie Winter is a stupid bad guy with a stupid quest and Jenny Lands is a stupid tragic backstory

Eddie Winter being the first ghoul ever is mind-bogglingly bad. You're telling me that they made ghouls before the bombs? And even if they did, Winter couldn't be the first. How the fuck would anyone know that radiation makes you immortal if you do it right, otherwise?! So, that's a contradiction within an already contrived premise. And not only that, but he just. Leaves a bunch of holotapes with a number on the back, that make a code to the basement of his favorite sandwich shop, which just so happens to be on the same street Jenny gets fridged?

So, Eddie Winter (or one of his goons) was eating one day, looked out, saw the fiance of the detective hunting him and recognized her (????), shot her, and then presumably returned to his fucking sandwich??????

And then 2 centuries later, a clone of that detective somehow finds the holotapes, untouched, unmoved, still functioning and retaining the painted-on numbers. The numbers didn't...fade? Wipe off?

You can keep the concept of Nick wanted to finish something Pre-war Nick didn't get to, but this...this isn't it.

Like, Skinny Malone was right there. Maybe just Darla shows up when you free Nick, and then later Nick has to contend with Malone and the Triggermen in some grand conspiracy with Mayor MacDonough, Hancock, and Piper.

Preston: TDLR; The radiant quest mechanic fucked him over and his voice actor needed some retakes

The moment you get Radio Freedom, Preston should have stopped giving quests. Easy fix there. It would have saved him almost a decade of shitty memes.

The real problem with Preston is that his VA beefed it bad. I can quote some of his lines with perfect inflection because the VA just did it so poorly. X6-88's VA had to play a monotonous, little-emotion character, and he still nailed it and gave X6 a lot of personality and distinction. Preston sounds like a modded-in character. And Jon Gentry is a pretty good actor! He has a great live-action presence in his demo reels on IMDB. I think he just struggled to put his performance into his voice rather than his presence/body language, and they didn't let/have him do a retake.

Piper: TDLR; So much potential, so much failure. Piper is a shitty reporter, and that could have been a great opportunity to have commentary on the ethics of journalism.

Journalism is supposed to be a duty to the people. It has responsibilities and ethics that are very easily misunderstood or forgotten for the sake of the next article. A good journalist is not always accurate. An accurate journalist is not always kind. A kind journalist is not always good.

Piper is not a good journalist, because her writing is not informative, it isn't news or useful info. She writes about MacDonough being a synth—she's basically writing callout posts on her blog.

Piper is not an accurate journalist, because she never has evidence for this claim. She says MacDonough is a synth, that the Institute took the Survivor's baby even if the Survivor says no.

Piper is not a kind journalist, because she fearmongers and makes things worse for synths. She complains that no one believes or trusts her word, but the second thing you ever see in Diamond City is a man trying to kill his brother for fear he's been replaced.

This is all fine, if addressed and explored. But it isn't. Piper seems to be chasing the high of exposing authority, and both times, she's right. We, the player, know she's right because we find out later she is. Imagine if we didn't. Imagine that reveal scene never comes. Every issue of Publick Occurances is trying to start a witchhunt, and Piper doesn't notice that it's working.

So, let's make her arc about worrying about her sister.

X6-88: TDLR; BRUH HE HAS NOTHING

No backstory, no relationships with other characters, no quest, no character arc.

TODD. You had the chance to humanize the Institute, or at least show what it's like being an Institute synth that isn't free. And you, instead, put all that time into fucking KELLOGG. You think I give a fuck about KELLOGG? I don't even give a fuck about SHAUN.

🌠Honorable mentions🌠

Gage: Hypocrite that thinks becoming the problem is fixing the problem, also he has both eyes. What do you need an eyepatch for.

Strong: Bethesda Super Mutants suck shit. Y'know Erikson fron Far Harbor? Would rather have him.

Longfellow: Dead Wife Man. Again, would have preferred Erikson.

Dogmeat and Ada: Perfect, no notes.

Best companions are:

Dogmeat, for being doggy

Ada, for being robot lady

Preston, for being perfect aside from two technical, Doylist issues.

[autisticcassandracain]

Just finished Trial of the Amazons and I gotta ask. wtf was the point of killing off Hippolyta here. I don’t know enough about Artemis to judge whether her killing Hippolyta was or was not in character and to be honest that’s not my main concern, my main concern is that Hippolyta’s death was wildly out of place in this event.

Like this event was about chaos, helped by Some Guy named Altuum who’s apparently been introduced before but who I absolutely don’t remember, escaping from Doom’s Doorway and sowing discord among the Amazons in an attempt to take them over. The contest for the guardian of Doom’s Doorway makes sense to include in this plotline, as it brings the Doors front and center, and could have been a good framing device.

But Hippolyta’s death was not, as far as we know, caused by chaos. Artemis seems to have had her own reasons for it that will probably be some kind of on-going plotline. So if it had nothing to do with the plot at hand. Why the fuck was it here.

The time spent on Hippolyta’s death could have been used to actually, you know, show the contest for the guardian in action, and give each of the potential guardians some time in the spotlight, rather than barely bringing the contest into the action and not properly resolving it despite the build-up (and also Donna got shafted here so hard due to lack of screentime). If Hippolyta’s death was either given its own event or, you know, contained to one or two series, there would’ve also been time to actually build a proper murder mystery, rather than have Cassie infodump to the audience about a bunch of evidence that wasn’t shown to us before. As is, the death is a distraction and sucks screentime away from the things that matter.

Furthermore, it also makes the pacing really goddamn weird towards the end. Artemis is revealed as the killer, shows no remorse, and then chaos breaks out, and immediately everyone goes ‘yeah ok nevermind lets get artemis to help us fight it’. This is AFTER Cassie interrupted the emergency at hand to reveal Artemis as the murderer. Like I get needing more firepower, but a) this fast pacing didn’t give us the time to reflect on the revelation of Artemis as the killer, and by extension, it had no impact when she was busted out of jail, and b) in this particular case, when the main conflict is Amazons being turned against each other, do we REALLY want help from someone who just proved to be willing to murder them? Like I’m sorry. This makes no damn sense.

Also idk what the fuck was up with Antiope and Atalanta but I think they could’ve explained that better if they didn’t have to spend time on Hippolyta’s death.

[folkloreguk]

French Class [6]

A/N: You guys might want to whack out your love song playlist for this one…I cried writing this BYE I'm posting this from my grave!!

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, ANGST, smut

words: ~ 3.8 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @yeostars, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek

You: can I come over? I kind of need u

H/N: you need me huh…you’re lucky I’m home alone

It always starts differently. Some other question, or a subtle message of telling him you’re bored, or a flat-out confession of being horny. The ending is always the same. You, naked in his bed. You just had to get there, and things were easy when you were already on his dorm’s doorstep.

The moment he had opened the door, you had fistfuls of his hair between your fingers and attacked his mouth in a feverish kiss. He made a noise between a laugh and surprise but reacted quickly. His lips parted right away, letting you in, and you tasted mint from the chewing gum he liked so much.

“Let me- at least- close the door,” he mumbled. “Jeez, what’s gotten into you today?”

You stepped aside and mirrored his grin. He was acting surprised, but the way he instantly locked your lips after he had shut the door told you he was enjoying this as much as you were. You ran your hands down his torso and along the side of his thighs. His happy hum only poured oil into the fire, and you saw no reason as to why you should have kept your clothes on any longer. In minutes, in the middle of heated kisses and clumsy chuckles, your clothes were discarded, and you were left in your underwear. You stumbled into his bedroom in a tangle of arms and legs and heads barely pulling apart.

“Will you tell me about the date you had today or are we skipping over that part?” he asked, as he pushed you down by the shoulders onto his bed. You groaned a little, not even knowing where to start.

“Didn’t go well, huh?” he asked. Only a few nights ago you had consoled him after his failed date, now the roles were reversed.

“That’s one way to put it,” you said. He was climbing on top of you now, and the weight of him between your thighs still did the same things to you it had done the first time. There was one of his random playlists playing quietly from the speakers, but you were both too occupied to even consider switching the music off. You weren’t in the mood for a chat, not when he was biting and sucking bruises into your chest, pushing aside your bra just enough. But you knew he wasn’t going to let it go this easily.

“Tell me about it or I won’t take one more piece of clothing off your body,” he threatened. You shot him an are-you-serious-look while he only blinked at you innocently, like he was awaiting your response.

“Fine,” you groaned. “But hurry, now.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, before unclasping your bra and throwing it to the other side of the room. “Go ahead, I expect a story.”

You had rolled your eyes at him, but when he sucked on your nipple all of a sudden, and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud ever so perfectly, your eyes moved to the back of your head involuntarily. And, before he could complain, you started to retell today’s events.

“Alright. First of all, he acted all gentleman-y. Pulling back my chair at the restaurant, letting me have a look at the menu first, letting me order first, asking me if I was okay with our seats because they were in the sunshine, or whether he should have requested we get a different in the shade table, blah, blah, blah.”

With the lewd noises he was making, kissing your chest and fumbling with your breasts, you almost wondered whether he was paying attention to you at all.

“I’m waiting for the plot twist,” he chuckled. “If he had been this great, you wouldn’t be in my bed right now, would you?” He was now on his way to your lower regions. Your breaths came out shaky when he gripped your hips with familiar fingertips and placed a few kisses there, right above the material of your underwear. Nonetheless, you had to continue your story.

“Oh, it’s coming,” you said. “Because I suspect, the only reason he was acting that way was to compensate. For the fact that he was an hour late.”

He stifled a laugh, and you slapped his head playfully. “It’s not funny! I stood outside that restaurant on a busy street like an idiot for an hour. During exam season!”

“I wonder, if studying is so special to you- ,” he said. He tugged on your underwear, and you barely cared about his words when you were already imagining his mouth on your pussy. “Why aren’t you at home right now, doing just that?”

“Too frustrated,” you groaned, spreading your legs, practically inviting him in. “You don’t get it. That was only the beginning of the date. It gets worse.”

“Oh, damn,” he laughed, and you were going to slap him again. Harder, this time. But his tongue kitten-licked over your clit and you didn’t dare interrupt him further.

“First of all, he turned out to be boring. An economics major. And look, I’m not generalizing, I’ve met some cool economics majors. But when I said I never really understood the whole thing with inflation and deflation, I wasn’t asking for him to explain it to me. I know what it means, I just meant to say money is the root of all evil,” you said, little moans slipping inbetween your sentences. He laughed whilst sipping on your clit. You couldn’t be mad at his laughing anymore. In fact, at the sound of his chuckles, your own lips curled into a smile, too. God, he was so good with his tongue.

“But turns out he loved money. Like it was the sole reason he was doing anything. When he showed me his gold watch I almost yawned,” you continued.

“Dating a rich guy can have its upsides too, though,” he said, but you knew he was joking. He was running the tips of his fingers over your core, and you whimpered at how badly you wanted him to put them inside of you. You loved watching him, loved feeling his hair tickle the side of your thighs and having his free hand laying on top of your hipbone. The familiarity of it all, his little habits, made your heart heavy, so full of emotion, all of a sudden. But you had to snap out of it.

“Not this guy. He kept saying these lowkey sexist things I won’t repeat now. It’ll only make me mad again. He was one of those who thought money would buy him a girlfriend. And I was really trying to see the good in him…only there was none,” you said.

“Alright, I’m starting to understand why you needed some cheering up,” he said. “Good thing you’re at the right place. I know just the thing.”

At this, he slid his digits into you. You hummed and dropped your head into the plush pillow. Slowly, you exhaled, happy you finally got to relax after being so upset. But of course, he had to interrupt. Again.

“Did I say you could stop? Was that the end of the story?” he said. How did he expect you to form a coherent sentence? He fingered you gently, but the slowness of it all only drove you crazier. You felt every tiny sensation, every new bit of you he touched.

“No,” you sulked. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“Go on, then,” he encouraged you, grinning because he was proud of your reaction he had caused.

“Fuck- okay. He was super shitty to the waiter. I’m talking about criticizing everything. This man had the audacity to complain about the food. I’m not a food critic, but I swear the food was amazing, there was nothing to fault at all,” you said, and then whined when he switched from licking your clit to sucking it between his teeth. You knew he was doing this on purpose. To make speaking harder for you.

“Oh my god, H/N. Wait, let me finish this. Not only was he horrible to the waiter in person, but he also made fun of the waiter’s appearance behind his back. And all along he expected me to find him funny. I used to think he had a sense of humor but not after today. Blech.”

“At least you got a free dinner?” he said, and without awaiting your answer, went back to work. Your head was spinning in pleasure, and you could only laugh sarcastically at his suggestion.

“Yeah. And after that train wreck of a date, he really thought he’d get to stick his tongue down my throat,” you said.

“Did he at least ask permission?” asked the boy between your legs.

“Mhm…but I told him I don’t do that on the first date,” you said. “Safe to say there won’t be another date, though.”

He looked up now, laughing more than before. You grinned, mainly because the sight of him was so cute. He folded his hands on your belly and put his face down onto your skin to giggle. In no way could you be upset or urge him to keep giving you head. In fact, you had forgotten about all of that for a while, as he seemed to enjoy your misfortune a little too wildly. You should have been hungry, eager to have the half-naked boy inside of you. Yet, you laughed at the way his breaths tickled your stomach and when he finally made eye contact, it was a wholly different sort of hunger which overcame you. Instead of the heat he usually made you feel, it was a comfortable warmth that was in your chest. It reminded you of a bonfire or of drinking your favorite hot drink on a cool autumn day.

“I want to watch you come,” he said, casually. “Were you close?”

You were so lost in his trustworthy, dreamy eyes, you almost forgot to reply. Quickly, you nodded and hummed.

“I would have already come, had you not pestered me to tell you all the details of my date,” you said. The way his cheeks beamed when he smiled made you feel as if your insides were turning into mush.

“I’m sorry. I’m your friend, aren’t I allowed to ask how your day went?” he asked.

“Of course you are,” you said. The word ‘friend’ echoed off every wall in your head until you wished you could have deleted it from the dictionary.

“I’ll make sure it feels extra good now,” he said, kissing your stomach. You shivered as you watched his gentle lips move lower, to your hips and the insides of your thighs. The touch felt like butterfly wings on your skin, and the tardiness of it made you impatient. When his tongue came in contact with your clit again, you sucked in a breath of surprise.

He tried to start slowly, but then you gripped his hair tightly, and carefully pushed him further. It was something you did often, a way to tell him you wanted more without having to use words. After all this time, he understood perfectly. Your clit was between his lips and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pleasure. It felt incredible, creating a funny sensation in the pit of your stomach. His fingers grazed over your slit until you were whimpering and shifting your hips, trying to make him hurry.

One of his digits slid into you easily, curling against your sweet spot, and it hit you only now how much you had missed him between your legs since he had stopped a few minutes ago. It made you feel as though you were suddenly overwhelmed with all of him, but you were willing to let the heat crash over you if it meant you could be close to him.

“Am I making it up to you now?” he asked as he pulled away merely for a breath. “I’ll turn your day into a good one after all.”

In a different tone his words would have sounded like the exact thing one would have expected to hear from a fuckboy in the bedroom. He could have boasted and bragged endlessly about how great he was with his tongue and fingers – he would have been right – but he didn’t mean it like that. You could tell from the uprightness and the authenticity in his voice that he really was doing his best because he wanted to make you feel better and turn your day around. Because you were special to him. Or so you desperately hoped.

Your legs wrapped around his shoulders as if you were trapping him between your thighs. But he was right there, and he would gladly stay for so much longer, and to say it puzzled you was an understatement. The boy who belonged to everybody, who was known by all of the campus, was treating you like you were royalty, and not the other way around. You moaned, his name inevitably falling from your lips. He added another finger and the slightest stretch made you lose your mind for a split second.

“That guy could have never made you feel this good, could he?” he suddenly asked. Your initial response was a helpless whine. You had been so close, and his talking had interrupted the otherworldly bliss for a moment.

“No, never,” you then whimpered shortly. ‘No’ was such a tiny word. It could barely encapsule what you truly meant to say. Which was that it would have never even gotten that far. That other guys couldn’t even have you at all. They didn’t get their turn to try and beat him. Not as of lately, at least. That you didn’t so much as dare to think about sleeping with other guys. That even before you had gone on the date, you had known it wouldn’t lead to anything. No guy could let you develop an interest on him in the same way the boy between your legs had done it. No other would be able to kidnap your brain like that. H/N was always there. Even when it was only you and your sex toys, you would automatically pretend it was him getting you off. You were so far gone that it was embarrassing how long it had taken you to admit it to yourself. But it was a colossal thing to confess to him, and you would never do that. Rejection would hurt a billion times more than whatever it was you two had now.

Your heart was racing as you closed your eyes. You had been so lost in thought, it was wondrous you hadn’t fallen yet. But you were right on the edge, making your breaths come out like puffs and a string of moans and swears sound from your lips. He too had stopped talking, concentrating on the task at hand, and judging by the way your back arched he was doing one hell of a good job.

“Oh my god- “ you whimpered. “I’m so close, H/N.”

This time he didn’t reply, which was for the best. Only a few seconds passed until you started to quiver and whine beneath him. You were going to outer space behind your eyelids as your high rushed through you. Your fingers curled and tightened in his locks while your legs clenched around his head. He was quick to pull your thighs apart again, still not being finished. For long seconds you swam in pleasure, with nothing on your mind but bursting stars. He was heaven, knowing precisely how far he could take it until you were too sensitive to take any more.

When you were at that point, he finally pulled away and looked up at your crumpled form. There was a lazy smile playing in the corner of your lips and your vision was hazy after having had your eyes closed for a while. He climbed up your body until his chest was against yours so he could really look at you.

“I get all of this without ever having been on a single date with you? I’m so lucky,” he said. You only smiled at him, at a loss for words. What were you to say? The two of you were clearly past the awkward dating stage already.

“I’m lucky you let me come over all the time,” you said. “I would have expected the campus fuckboy to be busier. To not have an empty spot in his bed every night.”

“Ah, shut up,” he said. “I’d rather have you here than a girl I don’t know at all. Look, I’m really tired so I don’t know how this will go…but can I?” He was on his knees, a tent visible in his boxers. With a questioning look, he was tugging them down his legs now.

“Of course,” you said. As you watched him roll on a condom, your ears perked up. Did that song have to come on shuffle just now? The coziest, most romantic love song you adored so much? You knew if you looked him in the eyes you’d be done for. But there wasn’t anywhere else to look when he settled between your legs and held up his weight with his forearms. His eyes were deep enough for you to get lost within a second. Distracting yourself was impossible. The one last thing you could do was to reach between the two of you and guide his length into you.

The song’s chorus came on, you looked at him once again, and suddenly you were all his. You didn’t need to tell him so. He thrust gently, almost carefully, like he had never done it with you. Your heart hammered against your ribcage so vivaciously, you wondered whether it had turned autonomous and was now trying to jump out of your body, onto his skin and through it, so it could nestle next to his own heart.

Neither of you spoke. Yet, there had never been so much chemistry, such a heavy amount of uncommunicated emotions between the two of you. You were ready to hang on his every word, should he decide to speak up. In your head rampaged a billion sentiments you needed him to know, but there was no option to express them adequately. Perhaps there were simply no words in the English language to declare your feelings for him.

Small whimpers and moans left your lips only for him to hear. Sometimes he moved a little quicker, gifting you with the most perfect sounds he could make. And to know you were the cause for it sent you into overdrive. His mouth was right above yours. If you lifted your head slightly, you could have kissed his sweet, sweet lips. But you were so afraid. What would he think? You had never kissed him during sex. Not softly, like you wanted it so terribly.

Even worse, you craved so much more than that. You wanted to pull him in, envelope his mouth in your own, crawl over the edge of his lips and reside in his chest for safety. Because that’s what he was. Comfort. Reassurance. Home. How foolish you had been, pretending this little fling would lead to nothing more. You really had told yourself this would work. No feelings. Just fun. You couldn’t deny having fun with him. He was the best company you had ever known, and he had become your most precious friend quickly. It was as if you had only been waiting for the silly, flirty boy to sit across from you in the library and make weak advances towards you.

The love song tuned out slowly, replaced by something more sensual and sinful. In accordance with the new background noise, he gripped your hips a little meaner and went faster. You barely noticed how his breathing had sped up as he was getting closer to his orgasm. A trance had overcome you, transfixing you on his godlike features and how much it hurt to know you couldn’t call him yours. In your head you were made for each other. They always said to date your best friend, didn’t they? You could try to turn back time, go back to your first meeting place, at the party. See if things would turn out different. But you knew they wouldn’t. As much as your fear tried to suppress it – you would take the same path again, stumbling head-first into his arms and letting him into your life like a crashing wave of laughter and heart-crushing conversations.

Now you reflected in despair, how he had taken your heart in a storm, without having to try too hard. And worst of all, you were okay with it. Your heart was secure with him, you thought. The feelings yearned to be spoken out loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“You feel so good,” he said. “Always, so fucking good.”

He snapped his hips against yours, burying his cock deep inside of you and all you could muster was a hum of agreement. This is what you got for keeping him at arms-length from the beginning. Wasn’t it you who had challenged him to be friends and only that? Perhaps you would be okay, so long as no one else called him theirs either. You could go on like this, letting him use you for sexual relief and making him laugh when he needed it. Gladly, you would take the pain of not being allowed to love him with your whole being if it meant you could see him whenever you wanted. Exposing those silly emotions would wreck your friendship and you wouldn’t let it happen.

He grunted and only then, when he lowered his head into the crook of your neck and moaned your name, you realized he was reaching his high. Softly, you cradled his head in your hands, as if it was the last time you could hold him like this. When he put his forehead against yours, he had his eyes closed and his chest was moving steadier than before.

“You’re the best,” he whispered. “Stay the night?”

Should you have gone home, and missed him all night? Would you have regretted saying no while you curled up in bed with no Cheshire-cat-grin-boy to hold? Or were you to remain in his bed, and pray you would survive the torture of not speaking your mind? His skin radiated the most wonderful warmth and you wanted to trace his lips with your eyes until you fell asleep. That’s how quickly it was decided.

“Okay,” you answered.

[optimisticsaladalpaca]

And that's what pisses me off about Helluva Boss.

They never stick with the events that already happened in previous episodes and just straight up forgetting about them. Viv and her team keeps slapping in arc after arc after arc. Event after event after event after event and we never see these characters work a motherfucking thing out on screen. It's development is honestly so shitty and I'm more surprised at how fans never pointed this out.

I can't be the only one that noticed that it used to be a "part 1" at the end of the title right? Yeah, they changed that shit and made it into the "finale" instead. When we could've had a part 2 on how Blitzo and Stolas...oh I don't know, WORK THINGS OUT A NOTCH? LIKE SERIOUSLY... WHAT IN THE FUCK HAPPENED BETWEEN BLITZO AND STOLAS AFTER THIS VERY EPISODE?

Blitzo literally lashes out at Stolas, explaining their entire relationship in a nutshell about how Stolas only wants to fuck him and how it affects Blitzo mentally. After this, you'd think the next episode or 2 would be about them staying away from each other or at least try to work things out for each other, right? Do you get that? No. Instead, you get this shit.

Keep in mind, that's the most replayed scene in that episode if you just zoom to 11:19. Wow.

We once again got Stolas sexually assaulting Blitz at this VERY EPISODE of season 2. I'm sitting here like 'what the fuck'? Didn't they literally have this one conversation back in 'OZZIE'S'? Didn't Blitzo LITERALLY tell Stolas how he felt about their whole relationship and how he feels like Stolas only wants to fuck him? Didn't Stolas LITERALLY just hear Blitz explain to him about how he's been feeling for the past couple of episodes? I guess that shit just got thrown out the window, right? I guess Blitzo and Stolas's problems magically went away because 'Vivziepop logic', am I right? What a coincidence! It practically shows that Stolas doesn't give a shit about what Blitzo says and will continue to do all the disgusting petty shit that he does because he's a fucking dick sucker, let's just get that out of the way. He cares about nobody but himself. That's what infuriates me. We never got to see Blitz nor Stolas works things out, but instead they're just happy go lucky to each other in the next episode despite what the fuck happened in the finale. I hate when this shit happens. Literally. Hell, even Steven Universe can do better than this shit. Those that know SU would point out that Rebecca and her crew stuck with Garnet getting pissed off at Pearl because she kept fixing the hub just so they could fuse. They didn't just randomly have Garnet and Pearl act all fine and dandy in their next interaction. No. They actually stuck with the events that happened in the previous. Fucking. Episode. They stuck with Garnet's anger and hatred for Pearl. And that's how events work. Even to the point where Pearl realized what she did was fucked up and tried to apologized to Garnet many times for what she did back in the past episodes. And later on, Garnet forgives her. What do you know? They work things out. AND THEY SHOWED IT ON SCREEN. That's what I always loved about Steven Universe. They stick with their plots and events and handle them very well. Unlike Helluva ass. Seriously, how do you fuck up this badly, Viv? Then you got the nerve to compare yourself WITH Rebecca? Now I won't say Steven Universe didn't have flaws because they certainly did, but at least they handled their show way better than what Viv's crew could ever do. Rebecca Sugar does it way fucking better so I don't know why Vivziepop wants to talk all the shit as if both of her shows ain't already fucked up enough. Honestly nowadays cartoon kid shows are more adult like than actual western cartoons. Yes. I'm comparing them. Suck my strap.

Ugh... I'm so tired.

Funny how the Helluva Boss writers/fans act like each episode is connected to one another and all part of one big narrative that isn’t finished yet, despite the fact that the events of each episode never stick with the characters, ESPECIALLY the IMP gang. Blitz thinking he’s wasted his potential? Moxxie being afraid of rejection? Blitz feeling bad for how he treated Verosika and being outed by Fizz and Barbie? Moxxie coming across his abusive father again? The characters being shattered about Stolas in the hospital? Loona realizing her dad is enough? All gone. The characters always act fine and dandy every episode as if nothing happened. We don’t even get to see them talk about these events and how they affected them emotionally ON screen. How are they supposed to inch towards completing their arcs and make us believe they’re improving and forming a stronger bond between each other if the show won’t even have them talk about it and actually change?

And yet every day fans are talking about the amazing characters, the depth, and character arcs. Lmao all that shit happens off screen.