#it's instinct at this point tbh
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Ghost Abuelo💥💥💥💥
Toying with the idea of Pedro being semi-present within the timeline of the Giant Siren AU. He's not always there, but appears every now and again, mostly for his family. Specifically when they're in an situations of importance or peril.
Heavilyyyyyy based on the Ghost Leviathans from Subnautica (I need to play that game again lol), uhhhh idk, I was think about them, and the au but I digress. I wanted something to always, or at least almost always, be present in the darkest of the ocean. Even below the trenches and what have you, where the deep sea siren live.
But Antonio would not have been the first to see Pedro; he would have predated Antonio's birth even. The one to see him the most, and consistently, would either be Alma or Bruno. I'm sorta leaning towards Bruno, because given the Ghost Leviathans in Subnautica only appear in the out of bounds and edge of the map areas of the game, I want Pedro to be more likely to appear in dark spaces, as well as the situations.
I just feel like ghost sirens would only appear in very specific situations, like the leviathans. And while Bruno might not have seen him everyday or anything, he definitely saw him lurking around the deeper parts of the trench's that even the deep sea siren are hesitant to explore.
Debating on whether others would be able to see Ghost Siren freely (at least when they appear), or if they're only visible to whoever they were closely related to or who they want to be seen by.
Dunno, just a silly lil idea <333
#my asks are open#my asks#encanto#encanto au#au#encanto pedro#encanto antonio#giant siren#giant siren au#encanto mermaid au#mer au#i gotta tag it#it's instinct at this point tbh
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I’ve been seeing a lot of people shit on straight couples in shipping and in general as a "joke" lately, particularly in the Dungeon Meshi fandom. Friendly reminder that, besides the evil straights, when you mock or put down straight couples for being straight/"not queer enough", you also make bi and pan people, and trans and ace people who experience hetero attraction feel unwelcome and lesser. Negativity hurts, love is love, happy valentine’s!
#It’s not even unironic or subtle anymore. Very uncomfy ngl#I know which side of the ace discourse y’all would be on and I do not like it#A lot of people reading will have the gut instinct of “shut up straight 🙄” and if that’s you I want you to pause and think about that#Yes I understand the historical sociopolitical reasons. Can we not rise above and not be exclusionists#When did queerness start being a performance needed to belong here. When did it become synonym for morality of a ship.#Not even gonna put this post in general tags bc I’m scared but if I get backlash my point will only be made tbh. What about this is wrong#Will being an ace heteroflexible-demiromantic queer woman save me some heat? Doubtful and that’s the sad thing isn’t it#Never straight enough for the straights never gay enough for the gays.#Bi marcille and ace laios laimar <3 Not that they care tho#I love being a multishipper. Laicion and farcille and marchil and laimar and cittadol and labru having a tea party in my mind and thriving#Is it not enough to be happy and uplifting
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part of the problem is that a lot of hugo's politics are really well thought out & considered & good but then some of them are like. entirely vibes-based to the point of feeling muddled & inconsistent & even straight up Bad sometimes. which is annoying
#sometimes it's like he's just saying things. chewing it over in real time but not getting anywhere really. which is frustrating when you've#just been immersed in a really deep & serious point he's carefully made & laid out just before#<- e.g. this section of revolt vs insurrection has some good points ig & could be interesting if it was actually grounded in some sort#of idk. political theory or something. but instead he spends a lot of it just falling back on ~vibes which sucks Especially bc#sometimes that 'sense' misleads him i think! and he ends up wandering closer to certain reactionary ideas than he intends#like he starts w this really banger bit basically making fun of the bourgeoisie opinion on violent uprising but then?? kind of ends up#doing that a bit himself by the end? not to mention that tbh i think the whole distinction he's trying to make here is kind of bogus anyway#it really feels he's trying to soothe his like lingering bits of conservative discomfort around this sort of armed uprising#by sorting it into a 'good' 'type' while maintaining a 'bad' 'type' for anything he's still not comfortable with#<- i wouldn't phrase that quite so harshly except i still think his bit on 1848 is annoying & this sort of goes hand in hand w that towards#like. actually actively working against the values he's trying to strive towards. y'know.#it's like you can see genuinely him intellectually trying to come round but he has still not let go of these#sort of like. instinctive conservative bourgeois discomforts in his subconscious. if that makes sense#thoughts#<- also the take on caesar & alexander & columbus etc. 😑🚬 i'm tired#kind of funny though bc sometimes his characters (i.e. like the amis) come across as having more clear grounded discussed well#thought through political opinions than he does. lol. it's like he saw the vision but was struggling with it personally at times#les mis
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one thing that is complicated when doing Anything gerudo is how to cut away from some of the orientalism by making more specific cultural choices while also maintaining their identity as recognizable, which is inherently drenched in all kinds of orientalism
I'm trying to learn more about middle eastern musical theory to be more intentional in my soundtrack, but then I'm like "okay but will this *read* gerudo", and. yeah it's Constantly that with them isn't it
#thoughts#gerudos#thralls of power#learning about time signatures and the such#I'm not super good at music theory tbh so it's a little bit out of my wheelhouse#I'm a little too instinctive with music#to the point where it can become hurtful#I think I'd love to at least#associate characters and leitmotifs with kind-of coherent cultural patterns#another problem is that I do not know how to play neither the guitar nor chord instruments#and it's like#there's so much chord instruments#and virtual instruments of them are Not Good generally#doesn't capture the vitality of an actual instrumentalist#so uhhhhh yeah#we'll see
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late Carlo and Moretti (during vinci-moretti war) are like Luca and Clemente to me. Moretti will never raise his hand on Carlo but! will he drive him into guilt in ways that are not direct? insult him in passing? convince Carlo that he's doing everything wrong, when in fact it's the opposite? of course such a painful kick to Carlo's ego, it's unfair, he doesn't deserve it. and it's not a father-son relationship, it's a professional relationship and he can't say anything back & defense himself in any way maybe Moretti's more favorable to Eddie in this period because he's more blindly loyal and Carlo feels he's about to explode
#^ i wrote it before that hounds thing but its about all this anger was once love etc#carlo who is a capo who has done so many terrible things for this place watching how eddie gets bonus points for blind loyalty: 😐#and it's not even that he's a capo it's that carlo says the right things but moretti dismisses him every time#also ok😬😬😬my truth! is that eddie really was against killing moretti at first#and when he finally decides to support carlo well. is it just a change of master? (yes)#m2#moretti family#and!#as far as i understand Moretti's murder took place just a few days before his victory? fucked up thing#i mean. it just makes Carlo an even shitty man. he chose himself over the majority#(i can't think about any war theme on a physical level at this point so. i have only abstract thoughts on this)#but objectively: moretti family may have gained control of the vinci family's territory of influence etc#instead they got a young crazy don. and everyone was alright w it (?!makes me think for what reason)#which is why i think there's been something wrong with Moretti in his last yrs. he looks much older thank frank n leo#for now he's just an old man stubbornly clinging to power to me. but not to say that i worked on his character much#i think he became weaker hypochondriacal and paranoid towards the end. “i saw his hands trembling” carlo bout moretti etc#“akela missed his kill!” and the young wolves tore him apart#ewwwwwwwwwww no Carlo who sees Moretti growing weaker and instinctively his teeth are bared more and more ewww#kill the weak and old so the young can survive😬😬 (fucked up thing is that they aren't animals they would survive w moretti in charge)#spoiled hounds parallel makes things so much complicated tbh. but it feels right
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"you are not immune to propaganda/cult indoctrination" is largely useful and the sort of shit it's used to point out as not making you immune (being "smart" or a certain degree of educated, etc) is worth pointing out and it never feels like the appropriate place to mention it, but a lot of people seem to be conflating "the things people think make them immune to this kind of thing doesn't because it doesn't work that way" along with "the same conditions that make people more vulnerable to indoctrination/conspiritorial thinking/etc can happen to anyone" with "everyone in the world is equally vulnerable to every kind of indoctrination under the same conditions" and i just don't think that's objectively true.
It may be true that someone started out holding one belief and flipped to hold the apparently opposite belief, but does that actually mean everyone who holds that belief is equally liable to change their mind? Why did they hold that belief in the first place? Is it consistent with their values and what they care about more broadly, and do they specically go out of their way to combat the potential for misinformation and propaganda? Are they prone to making their decisions based on what the people around or closest to them think instead of thinking for themselves? To what extent do they base their values and decsions on kneejerk emotional reactions? (these aren't the only factors obviously, just examples of other potential contributing factors) It is not a given that everyone will answer these questions in the same way, and this is part of why different people respond differently in similar situations. Also not everyone will respond positively to techniques that often work to draw people in (eg lovebombing is a common tactic that works on a lot of people, but may be actively offputting or ring alarm bells for others; different people have different tolerances for attempts at social control and some might nope out the moment they see it attempted regardless of any other factors).
"You Yes Even You" can be an important tactic to get people who wouldn't otherwise to legitimately consider why these tactics work on people and what might work on them and keep in mind that the people it Does happen to usually aren't aware of it and it's not always their fault the way it's often presented, but that is not objectively the same thing as "anyone can fall down any pipeline not matter what forever"
like maybe no one is literally "immune to propaganda" but if a type of propoganda is something that necessarily hinges on X mechanism and a person is notorious for both intellectually and instinctively being violently opposed to X. then yeah I think the propoganda that hinges on X is probably going to be a Very Difficult to Impossible sell, even potentially under coercion, especially if that person has already demonstrated that they are willing to put themeslves at risk/resist that kind of coercion about it. unless your argument is that there is scp level literal mind control happening.
#a lot of people talk about how they were initially conservative because they grew up surrounded by and being taught that#and it's true that there are circumstances like that that can make it less likely for people to initially form different opinions/etc#i'm not saying that it inherently happens because people are fundamentally less intelligent or whatever#but it's also true that there are people who decide to question that sort of thing from an early age and without outside intervention#maybe they noticed holes in the logic and 'care more about being right than being happy'#maybe they decided truth/accurate information was important enough they were going to fact check Everything to be sure#maybe they didn't appreciate being expected to trust/agree blindly with whatever they were told#and that would be the case regardless of who said it or what they were saying#this doesn't mean they're 'smarter' but i do think there are factors/personal values/personal reactions even#that can make you less succeptible to certain things. for example if you're fundamentally opposed to the sort of#social control cults use (not just because you intellectually recognise that it's important/moral standards. i don't want to#really get into 'force of will/resolution' arguments here because that's not really what i'm trying to point out#and people might take that as being like. inherently 'better' or something) but because#say you're violently repulsed by the concept like on an instinctive visceral level and have a track record of noping out#the second you see anything resembling them (maybe even to your detriment in certain situations/false alarms/etc.#again i'm not trying to make the argument of people having like. a uniquely accurate and foolproof Cult Radar superpower)#then yeah i don't know if 'immune' is the word i'd use but i'd think you're probably way less likely to stick around if it's#a deal breaker no matter what for you. or if you have that response to a common tactic to be drawn in by that specific tactic#than someone without that viceral response would be even under extremely comparable circumstances.#like people can and do cut off people they're very close to or put themselves in danger for similar reasons (or for less tbh)#because different people are different and respond differently to things and have natural strengths and weaknesses and#personality traits and like. variation in general. that may make various tactics more or less likely to work on them.#it's not a matter of being 'smarter' or generally 'better' and there are a variety of differenft factors involved#(so someone could be resistant to a certain tactic but uniquely sicceptible to another) but like.#it's a thing that can probably happen i think. no experience is universal#mypost#this is just a pet peeve rip. can you tell this has been building for a while.
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deranged thought of the day is that each of harvey specter’s exes reflect mike ross somehow. anyways
#caroline talks#i’m only being partially serious.#but like. come on.#season 1? we meet scottie who. we learn can banter easily with Harvey#and is equally pretty and in Harvey’s mind. someone with the smartest head on her shoulders/her beauty comes only second to her brains.#season 1? is also when Harvey takes one look at mike and watches him do his photographic memory thing and IMMEDIATELY decides he needs to#have him.#(he has a thing. for people who are good at reciting the law ig.)#season 2? we meet zoe. who is kind and sweet (I love her most out of all of Harvey’s relationships with women tbh)#but zoe also sees right through harvey and points out where his weaknesses are. (lack of vulnerability.)#season 2 is also I think. where mike becomes MUCH more comfortable with telling Harvey when he’s being wrong#or just straight up arguing with him about. how Harvey CARES but he just doesn’t know how to show it (a la the entire Donna trial arc)#fast forward to season 7 with. uh. paula.#i don’t care what the show tries to say. mike is getting married to Rachel#and Harvey’s instinct is to date his THERAPIST who had sat through his struggles#and also happens to have yellow hair and blue eyes. like Harvey buddy. UH.#(uh who else sat through with Harvey in some of the Worst Days? and who else has yellow hair and blue eyes???? harvey buddy….)#I didn’t watch the entirety of season 8 but like.#i love u Donna but it’s really funny to me that as soon as Harvey loses mike#he’s just sad and pouting and miserable#but here’s someone who hasn’t left. and who HAS seen him through the thick and thin.#and like. idk. most of Harvey’s old friends/associates are gone and ofc this is when he chooses to go to Donna.#which idk. something really depressing about that and I’m punching Harvey in the face for that behavior#people say slow burn? I say that man has been moping around and dragging his feet bc he’s obsessed with mike Ross.#you know. like a loser.#anyways. I’m only being partially serious. back to work.
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i ascribe to the headcanon of scully being mildly psychic/precognitive but i like that there is also arguably an equal amount of evidence that mulder is one of the few people that can see ghosts. like it’s just an established character trait that he has periodical visions of dead people
#‘fellas is it gay to hallucinate your dead nemesis’ well yeah#but i feel like if said dead nemesis is handing you things and closing doors and shit at that point you’re not hallucinating#tbh i personally think a lot of people in the world have psychic powers they’re just extremely niche or vague or weak#so the addition of stuff like this. where it’s implied that maybe someone has something going on! but it’s not super important#is really cool to me. margaret scully has a dream about dana being kidnapped and then it comes true#scully sees her father in her living room fifteen minutes before he dies. scully’s ‘gut instinct’ is almost always right about future events#mulder always knows when scully’s in danger even if they’re miles apart. mulder can see and speak to dead people#it fascinates me a little. they’re both x files in themselves but they don’t even realize it
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so I think this is my opinions of the seasons of Sailor Moon:
S > Stars > 1 > SuperS > R
#which isn't to say that I really disliked any of the seasons#R was kinda a struggle in the beginning but overall was worth it#but like after finishing S my immediate instinct was to go back and rewatch the whole season#and I had to stop myself from doing that#like I've watched certain episodes of S and Stars mulitple times at this point because they have the best episodes lol#and with the first season I'll just never get over the finale episodes tbh#and like I distinctly remember the MOMENT in which I realized the show had hooked me#like I can't really pinpoint the exact moment I got obsessed with most stuff#but when I do I know its gonna stick with me
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^^me at literally every character that i feel is enjoying life a little too much
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i think what's really going to tie this together is if there's also gonna have to be donnie-initiated attempt at twin comfort for future leo too
#neither of em are gonna have a great time with it tbh but donnie's twin instincts will unfortunately adopt big blue at some point#series: when i found you i found me#fic: i know exactly what i want and it's this life that we've created
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I have *got* to stop calling people girlie cuz I just called my dad girlie and now will be crawling into a hole out of embarrassment 💀💀💀
#i cant help it#although my dad is probably used to it at this point#my whole family tbh#its just instinct at this point#girlie#help please#its just integrated itself into my vocabulary and i dont even know how#sorry dad#this is “slay” 2.0
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#realising today that like . all of This makes me uncomfy bc ive been in a similar position before#2yrs ago and . theres a potentual it could turn out the same way it did last time#and i sont think it will#i dont want it to and i rdguse to ljke go down that path and spiral. but.#anyway my therapist making me actuvely look at my past trauma and dig through memories is so fucking . infuriating even tho ik its the point#like shes not just a soundboars for me to bounxe my thoughts off (which is what 70% of my sessions are tbh)#like its 70% me bitching abt smth and then maybe 10% her Correcting me and 20% trauma Digging and opening uo wounds i still have#anyway. this is so fucked i want to fix it - partly bc i do l*ve h*m and partly bc im such a fucking .#i will not let things Go until im batteres ans bruised in every shape and form#and i hate that this means . dragging him along with it#even tho he has freewill and can iterally just Leave me if he wanted to.#im bitter and uncomfortable and feeling unwanted bc this is just a state of . Confusion and instability#until ive got Answers and until hes . at a level where hes not so pissed at me hes blinded by hurt n rage :/#and logically i should . just leave :( bc as much as i wanna be all *im so gonna do better and get better!!!!! nothing will ever happen*#i have Patterns that are a bitch to break.#trying not to be angrt and act like a xhild is Not my strong point either#my 1st instinct when im hurt is to act like a child and be childish and lash out whicb obviously gets me nowhere half the time.#and i also dont know if this arrangement we have rn . i dont know how to go abt it lime tjeres so mhch uncertainty#and i know it couls just be easily fixed if i communicated and asked questions and got boundaries in place#but im terrified to get yelled at or met with dry answers and no useful info.#im gonna give it an hour and then . see what i can do i need to mull itnover#switched my thinking from spiralling and overthinking to *what the fuck can i do abt it thats positive*#and OH BOY is that a hard thing to be constsntly aware of :(#getting better is so fucking hard i do . get why people just stay sick and mentslly ill and dont do the hard work. bc it is exhausting#i burned myself out and reached a boiling point bc i was doing it incorrectly the 1st time around apparently#i wasnt - but my efforts were NOT recognised and that felt kjke being slapped in the face tbh.
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pairing: wolf!toji fushiguro x reader summary: wolfhybrid!toji, grumpy x sunshine again, animalistic behavior, bickering rheya’s note: man i couldn’t stop thinking about guard dog toji so it turned into a hybrid au! i can’t see him as anything but a wolf/dog tbh. anyways i will def be writing more for this au hehe <33
you’ve been hearing noises.
it sounds strange, but you’re sure that there is something lurking in the normally deserted alleyway next to your apartment. at first you brushed it off as people traveling through, but now you've noticed the sounds are constant—every night.
you’re eating dinner when you hear the sounds of scuffling, followed by the yowl of a cat and realize you’re probably dealing with a stray looking for food.
so after you finish your meal, you put a bit of leftover fish in an old plate you seldom use, and take it outside. when you peer into the dark alley you don’t see any cat—it’s empty and quiet. you do notice a few scrapes on the walls and a couple of trash bins overturned, which means there definitely was some animal here.
maybe it’ll come back, you think as you bend down and place the plate on the pavement. with one last backward glance at the deserted alleyway, you head inside and go to bed.
a fond smile stretches across your face when you notice the empty plate as you’re leaving for work the next morning.
it becomes a daily routine after that. every night before you go to bed you go out and leave a little plate of fish for the poor cat. and every morning you’re met with a licked clean plate.
even though you never do see the cat, you do feel a strange combination of accomplishment and affection for the poor thing. and your little routine runs smoothly for a couple weeks—you have no complaints.
and then one night, when you’re going to drop off your little ration of the day, you see him. despite being hunched in a corner, he looms infinitely large—heavy shoulders and muscles straining as they fill with tension at your presence. his eyes are strangely bright, crystalline jade narrowed into slits as they appraise you, teeth bared in feral anger. they snap and snarl at you in warning, and you freeze almost immediately.
he’s terrifying—in a strangely gorgeous way.
dark furry ears are pointed up straight, twitching with the sound of your movements, and a warning growl bounces over the walls.
you raise your hands, ignoring the tremble, the instinct to run. “i just…” you keep your voice low, choosing to lightly shake the little plate you have in your hand. green eyes dart over—another snarl, a flick of a tail.
you slowly crouch and place the plate onto the ground, before backing away—you’re not trying to get attacked by a clearly feral hybrid.
he snarls and growls until you are well out of sight.
when you’re back in the safety of your apartment you almost laugh, heart pounding with disbelief. you thought you’d been feeding a stray cat—but no, it’s a hybrid. a big one, predatory in all aspects. you couldn’t see much in the dark lighting of the alley but the ears looked distinctly canine—with the addition of the teeth, claws, and tail, you’re almost sure he is some kind of dog or wolf or whatever.
dangerous for sure.
sensibly, you should probably stop feeding him so he doesn’t stick around. but stupidly, you can’t help it.
the next night you leave another plate. he’s not there this time, but you leave it just in case he’s lurking.
the following night his green eyes remain narrowed on your figure as you return—still snarling as he watches you.
you’re not fazed.
(tell that to your racing heart.)
over the course of the next few weeks, you repeat this process, not really sure what you’re expecting. you suppose you should be grateful that he doesn’t growl as much anymore, seemingly becoming accustomed to your routine presence. it becomes clockwork, so much so that you can always expect him to be sitting in the alley, ears flicking at the sounds of your footsteps.
the plate has now been saved for his little nightly meals, something you don’t necessarily mind. you notice that he is always clad in the same tattered clothing, a dark shirt that is far too loose even on his large body—it is littered with dirt and holes and you wish it was easier to offer some more comfortable items to him.
but you’ve only just gotten him to stop viewing you as a threat; you’ll take it slow.
you don’t notice that he gradually waits closer and closer to where he knows you leave the plate, the distance diminishing in a display of semi trust.
you think that this is all you’ll really get from him. which is fine—you’d rather he remain silent and alive than dead from starvation in your alleyway.
he surprises you one night.
“no more fish.”
you pause in your tracks, a few measly centimeters away from putting the plate on the ground. your eyes dart upward to see him already staring at you, jade slits narrowed. his tail flicks lazily in the shadows. your voice is breathless when you ask, “w-what?”
“fish,” he repeats. “no more of it.”
his voice is a low rumble, deep in richness and timbre despite its evidence of not being used in a while. you glance down at the plate in confusion—he had eaten it all for these few weeks?
he reaches for the plate, digging into the fish with practiced ease. you watch his canines dig into the flesh and tear away like it’s mere paper.
(should you be scared that the fish could also be your throat?)
“you uh—” you clear you throat, staring at him. “you don’t like fish?”
“i can survive off it,” he spits out in between bites—his pupils find yours. “but it’s not great.”
you don’t know why you’re so eager to make him happy. “then what would you like to eat?”
he quirks a brow at the enthusiasm, but answers gruffly. “meat. real meat.” he pauses to run his tongue over his lips, satiated—you can see a scar cutting over them. “like lamb. or beef. i don’t care really.”
“i can do that!” you’re seriously embarrassed at how keen you are, but the progress you’re making excites you. “i should’ve considered what you’d naturally like to eat. you’re a…?”
“wolf,” he grunts, still focused on his meal.
“right.” you nod, grateful to have confirmed the species. “makes sense you’d prefer real meat.”
he doesn’t answer. you don’t mind.
“then i’ll get you something different tomorrow.” you turn to leave. once again he doesn’t answer, but you can feel his eyes boring holes into your back.
you don’t tell the wolf hybrid that you stayed up researching his species just to figure out what he’d like. you just place the plate down the next night, hoping that it is enough to make him feel a little more comfortable with you.
(you’re sure he could kill you with just one bite, but you try not to think about that.)
the wolf watches you present the plate of lamb meat, some pieces cooked and some raw—his tail slowly thumps against the ground.
“i um…know that wolves like deer and stuff, but getting deer meat nearby is a little difficult. i can probably go find some places over the weekend,” you say hesitantly, watching his expression. he reaches a large palm out, claws tugging the plate closer, and digs in. you’re not sure about the taste, but you can see the rise in enthusiasm as he gobbles the meat down—a smile twitches at your lips.
“it’s fine,” he mumbles in return. “deer’s expensive. i like lamb and chicken. beef too.”
you nod, surprised at the consideration for the money you’re spending.
“do…do you prefer it raw or cooked?” you wait for him to click his tongue or indicate he’s getting annoyed by your presence, but he’s feeling forthcoming tonight.
“either’s fine.” he licks up the pinkish liquid that has dripped down his chin while biting into the raw pieces. “i’m used to raw meat.”
you nod, slowly taking a seat on the pavement. his eyes flicker up to watch what you’re doing, but he doesn’t protest. he just picks up another piece of lamb and takes a bite.
“you cook this?” he grunts, waving one of the cooked pieces. you grimace, nodding sheepishly.
“yeah. i wasn't sure if you'd like raw meat or cooked so i brought both. i can just bring raw pieces from now on.”
he peers at the cooked meat in between his claws, before shaking his head gruffly. “it’s pretty good.”
“the cooked meat?” you ask in surprise. he nods.
“yeah. tastes good.”
you can’t help the grin that stretches across your face.
“the fuck are you smilin’ about?” he narrows his eyes at you, ears pointing upright. you drop the smile hastily, shaking your head with a start.
“nothing!”
he snorts, continuing to eat. you watch him do so, strangely content. he doesn’t comment on how you’re seemingly inspecting him, eyes unblinking. he keeps his mouth shut because the taste of meat is heavy on his tongue, and at this point you’re a godsend to an animal like him.
so if you want to observe him like he’s in a fucking zoo, he’s fine with that.
you do have horrible survival instincts though. he wonders why on earth you seem so comfortable around a predator like him, especially a species that is so known to be violent. you’re just sitting there, a mere five feet away, watching him tear into raw meat with stars in your eyes.
(he could tear you apart in a second if he wanted to.)
he doesn’t leave a morsel on the plate, and you give him that same silly smile again.
“i have a little bit more cooked lamb leftover if you want?” you question him, and his eyes lazily roam over you. he thinks about telling you that he could devour meat for much longer if the supply was endless, but instead he huffs.
“did you eat?”
you blink. “me?”
“yeah you,” he replies harshly, rolling his eyes. “did you eat?”
you awkwardly scratch at your arm. “not yet. i was gonna eat some instant noodles later.”
“why the fuck are you worried about a stray like me then?” he snarls, crossing his arms—you’re so fucking naive. “go eat the cooked lamb and worry about yourself, for fuck’s sake.”
while his harsh tone would’ve definitely scared you on day one, this time, you feel more ticked off than afraid.
“i’m a grown ass adult. don’t tell me what to do. if i wanna worry about the noisy stray in my alleyway, i’ll do that,” you shoot back indignantly, mirroring his crossed arms.
the wolf’s demeanor changes, hackles rising. his ears go erect, straight and tense with frustration. he bares his teeth at you, a warning growl coming through them. “lot of talk for someone so damn tiny,” he barks. “don’t you have any self preservation instincts? i could just fucking eat you instead.”
you go a little slack jawed at that, a flicker of hesitation, but then you retort. “maybe, but i bet humans don’t taste as good as lamb or deer!”
“i’ll make do,” he growls back, canines pulling into an evil smirk.
your bravado dies down, and then he has to deal with the disturbingly wounded pout on your face. you don’t say anything more and he sighs heavily.
“i’ll eat more if you eat,” he grunts, glaring at the pavement. even then, he can feel the way you perk up.
“i’ll be right back!” you grab his plate and hurry into your apartment, eager, and all he can do is sigh, wondering what on earth he’s doing interacting with a fragile little human like you.
you come back with more cooked lamb in his designated plate, placing it in front of him before taking a seat on the floor again. he watches you stab at the pieces with a fork and chew on them, so dainty compared to the way his canines dig into his own share.
he can feel the curiosity thrumming through your veins, no doubt burning with questions—the need to talk to him. but you stay quiet as you eat, the sounds of chewing echoing through the alley. he concedes.
“you make it a habit to feed strays?” he mutters. you look up, once again sporting that silly look of surprise at his attention, but you recover quickly.
“no not really. you were just…really loud.” you sheepishly grin when he pins you with a glare, raising your hands innocently. “i just heard a lot of rattling around out here. i thought you were a stray cat.”
he takes offense to that.
“i ain’t no damn cat,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes as he bites into the flesh of another piece. your grin widens.
“clearly.”
the rest of the short meal passes in silence. he finishes up before you do, and for the first time you see him stand to his full height—he’s tall and hulking.
“well,” he grunts, shoving his clawed hands into his dirty pockets. “y’should go inside and finish that.”
he nods at your bowl before turning away. you briefly wonder where he sleeps; perhaps the park nearby so that he can rest on soft grass rather than cold stone. the thought makes you pity him more than you did.
his retreating form suddenly pauses, and he turns to stare over his shoulder—his jade eyes glow in the darkness. “see y’tomorrow.”
a wide smile stretches across your face, and you wave back, giddy. “sure! see you tomorrow…” your voice trails off at the end. the wolf rolls his eyes heavily, before turning around and continuing his walk.
“toji.” he finishes for you, voice low and yet still clear.
you bite back a laugh of disbelief. “toji,” you repeat, and it rolls off your tongue like butter. his ears twitch at the sound, surprisingly pleasant, and he grumbles in return, vanishing into the night.
he ends up keeping his promise.
#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#toji x you#jujutsu kaisen drabbles#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk angst#toji fluff#toji angst#fushiguro toji x reader#zenin toji x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#toji x y/n#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro fluff#toji fushiguro angst#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen angst#toji drabbles#fushiguro toji#jjk hybrid au#wolf hybrid toji#hybrid toji
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synopsis. you’ve been deliberately dodging atsumu miya. he wants to know why.
pairing. atsumu miya x fem!reader | wc. 2.0k (it wasn’t even supposed to be this long) | genres. (implied) university au, tbh i don’t even know what this dynamic is, he calls us princess, reader’s kinda bad emotionally, rain confessions
notes. for my birthday (not gojo’s eff him (/j)) i decided why not take one of my favorite tropes of all time and pair it w the loml. you’re so welcome. this is very dialogue heavy, barely proofread, and a hot mess, but i hope you enjoy regardless.
"(y/n)." the very familiar, sultry yet aggravating voice says the moment you step out of the cafe.
"oh my god!" you jump, clutching a hand over your heart that skipped a beat. it's immediately followed with a glare towards atsumu. "what the fuck, miya? you don't just come up to people like that."
"sorry." atsumu apologizes but his nose scrunches at the word. "nah, not really. didn't know how else to get to ya."
"so you had to find me at my job?" you raise an eyebrow in disbelief.
he shrugs. "yer really not leavin' me with any other choice."
"what are you on about?" you roll your eyes as you take a sharp left, carefully exhaling out. the street is nearly deserted now that the sun sunk past the horizon, leaving only the street lights and the moon to illuminate what would be a pitch black scene. puddles of water are scattered along the walkways, remnants of the downpour that occurred earlier in the day. you had clocked out later than usual, and the next flash of rain is predicted to fall within the next few minutes. you want to get back to your dorm before the worst of it happens.
"ya know what i'm talking about." atsumu huffs. "yer clearly avoiding me."
your shoulders tense when he brings it up, and you pray that atsumu doesn't catch it. "i'm not." you lie, your heart speeding up.
"yer a shit liar. i hope ya know that." atsumu shuts you down right then and there. the fact he's able to makes you wince. that's one of the many bones you have to pick with him. he can always see right through you, and it allows him to get under your skin easily since he knows exactly what to say if he wants to get a reaction out of you.
it's because of that reason that you've been avoiding him. you know yourself well enough that if you were to stand face to face with atsumu miya as you are now, he'd figure out the secret that you've been hiding for two weeks.
atsumu presses his lips together, sighing once he realizes that all he'll get from you from this point forward is silence, but he tries his luck anywayy. "can we talk?"
you let his question fizzle out in the air, continuing down the sidewalk as atsumu follows by your side. the first drops of drizzle fall onto your hand and cheek. atsumu feels them too.
"look, it's gonna rain soon. could ya at least let me take ya home? yer gonna get soaked." atsumu gently reaches out for your hand. the sudden contact and its spark of heat makes you jump. instinctively, you yank your hand away from him. your widened eyes snap towards him, and shame washes over you. maybe the street lights are playing tricks on you, but you swear there's a flicker of hurt in his gaze. you turn away from him because you can't bear the sight of it.
"are ya mad at me? did i do somethin' to upset ya?" atsumu continues.
no, you answer in your head. you can't trust yourself to say it out loud without betraying anything else. it's not that.
"(y/n), please. talk to me." atsumu pleads. you don't think you've ever heard such desperation in his voice before. you've never seen him so raw. it's almost enough to break you, but you refuse to let go the threads of your resolve. the rain is picking up; it's cold as it soaks the threads of your clothes.
"princess." atsumu throws in as a last ditch effort. you know it is because it's the one nickname that gets you riled up the most. it sparks a reaction that atsumu knows will get you talking, but unbeknownst to him it's not for the reason he expects. he wants you to snap with anger, but all your heart does is ache. all it does is melt you into putty in his hands.
"don't call me that." you finally come to a stop, turning so that you can face him, defeat in your gaze. atsumu's blond locks are beginning to lose volume; they stick to his forehead as droplets continue to fall. his hoodie is littered with small, dark stains, a physical consequence of the rain.
"oh now i got yer attention." atsumu scoffs, poking his tongue into the inside of his cheek.
"miya." you warn, voice shaking. he ignores it.
"yer not being yerself, and ya haven't been for the last two weeks." he tells you as if you don't already recognize it yourself. "what's goin' on with ya?"
"nothing!" you deny. "i'm fine!"
atsumu rolls his eyes. "cut the crap, princess."
"seriously, stop calling me that!" you spit back at him.
you're shivering. you can't tell if it's because of your cold, wet clothes or your frustration that keeps reaching new levels. you can sense it; you can sense that your heart is about to claw itself out of chest and dump itself onto the feet of atsumu miya. your hand fists the fabric of your soaked shirt as if to keep it in.
"then tell me what's wrong!" the blond in front of you demands, running a hand through his hair. his voice projects over the brutal force of the rain.
you grimace. that's the one thing you can't do, especially since it involves him. you bite your tongue, hiding your face so that atsumu doesn't see the glassiness of your eyes. "miya... please drop it." you ask him pathetically.
"why?" he pries. this is the other issue with him. he's so damn stubborn to the point that it's infuriating. atsumu miya never backs down until he gets what he wants.
"because it's you!" the first wave of tears break free. they cascade down your cheeks, mixing in the stream of rain on your cheeks; all while your hand remains pointed at atsumu. "because i fell for you!"
atsumu shuts his mouth, going completely silent. you shake your head, laughing bitterly. "i bet you didn't expect that, did you? believe me, i didn't either. day in and day out all we've ever done was argue so i don't know how this happened. i don't know why i have these feelings for you."
wiping your face is a futile attempt yet you still do it anyway. a sob gets caught in your throat, and you choke on it. "i can't stop thinking about you. i can't be near you without my heart attempting to leap out of chest. and so yeah, i've been avoiding you miya, and it's because you've made me so damn weak."
your stare finds atsumu's. you can't get a read on him, but you don't have to second guess that he can see the pain swirling in your eyes. it's so humiliating that even now the first thing that crosses your mind is how good he looks even as you feel your heart being torn apart. his hair is completely stuck to his forehead. his blond ends that are soaked through and through drip their excess water onto his face. you want nothing more than to brush them out of his line of sight, but you can't. you fight that desire by balling up your fists.
"so please just leave me alone. stop trying to find me because i can't take this anymore." you beg through hiccups.
you wait for a response. you wait to see if atsumu will kick your heart aside. in an even better scenario, which is far from likely, he accepts it. you'll take either or.
but he does neither, and that's fine too. you leave atsumu by himself on the sidewalk, and your lack of presence pulls him out of his trance. he jogs to catch up to you, reaching from behind to clasp your hand in his.
"miya, let go-"
"no." he says firmly, a newfound fire burning behind his eyes, one that exceeds the one you feel on your hand. the sight makes you gulp. "ya can't just confess yer feelings for me and leave."
you chuckle weakly, trying to pull yourself free from his grasp. "i think i can."
"no, ya can't. ya didn't even give me a chance to say anythin'." atsumu argues. he doesn't relinquish the hold he has on you.
"what more do you have to say? you don't feel the same, and that's fine-"
"could ya stop assuming things?! i never even said that." atsumu squeezes your hand ever so lightly in frustration. "and by the way, i'm not gonna leave ya alone. i'll follow ya to the edge of the earth if i have to."
you're still crying at this point, and atsumu's words are only making you more upset. "why?! why are you so fixated on me?! why can't you just-"
"because i'm in love with ya!"
in that moment, you swear the rain stops in its place, suspended in the air. surely, you must've been hearing things wrong. atsumu miya, the guy who has everyone dancing to the tune of his hand, is- no that doesn't even sound right. how could he possibly-
"god, i've been in love with ya for so long." atsumu laughs, like it's a relief to finally get it off his chest. "but ya nearly ripped my heart to shreds over these past two weeks."
atsumu squeezes your hand before letting it fall to your side. his own flex by his side as if to hold himself back. "(y/n), ya can insult me to yer heart's content if that's what makes ya happy, but don't dodge me like i'm the damn plague. i hate it. i really do."
atsumu picks up his tear-filled eyes; it makes your own fall even faster because you realize that this hurts him. you want to apologize, but the words are backed up in your throat. your cries steal away your ability to speak.
so you pull him in, yanking him by the drenched fabric of his hoodie and closing the distance between you two. your lips crash onto his, praying that this action is enough for him to understand. it takes a moment for atsumu to react, he's unmoving against you, and once he realizes what's happening, he relaxes. his hands fly to your neck, resting one on either side as he kisses you back.
it's carnivorous. he kisses you like he's been deprived of you. you feel how badly atsumu's been wanting this, how long he's been waiting for this day. you can barely keep up with his hunger. it's hot enough to overpower the chill that comes with the rain beating down on both of you. you'd kiss him forever if you could, but your lungs are begging for air.
when you pull away, atsumu's eyes reveal that he's in a daze, a happy one, like he just came back from soaring through the clouds. his damp hair presses onto your forehead as you both catch your breaths.
he pulls back. atsumu wears a soft grin as he admires you, even though you probably look like a wet dog. one of his hands find their way up to your cheek. you look at him expectantly. "(y/n), i want all of ya. i want yer stubborn ass attitude and yer insults. i want ya to be the only person who can bring me back down to earth. i want yer smiles and all yer laughs. i want to continue lovin' ya." he professes with complete certainty. his flowery words make you beam so brightly that it makes your cheeks hurt.
"i'll give you all of that and more." you swear. "but miya, i need you to kiss me again."
"oh? it seems like i got myself a needy princess." atsumu smirks, but he's already leaning in.
"shut up."
"gladly." atsumu agrees, pressing his lips to yours, smiles on both your faces.
you catch the flu the day after, and so does atsumu. but man, it is so, so worth it.
#anime#manga#haikyuu#hq#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#hq fluff#hq angst#atsumu miya#atsumu x reader#atsumu fluff#atsumu angst#⭑ — fics ⭑.ᐟ♡#♡ — hq#♡ — tsumu
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what if shen yuan had a personality/history that was closer to shen jiu (a ruthless street rat), and the only main difference between them was that sy actually liked the 'protagonist', binghe? i think poor bingbing would have fallen even harder/faster tbh.
-- example --
skinner arc
skinner: "ooh what pretty skin you have, mr. cultivator! i can't wait to wear it! :) :) :)"
sy: (instead of pointing them at binghe) *evil grin* "why don't you come closer to see it in detail then?"
skinner: *approaches*
sy: *rips their throat out with his teeth*
sy: "and this, children, is why you should always remember two things: one, cultivation improves not only your qi, but also your physical strength, and cutting you off from qi doesn't hinder your muscles; and two, just because you don't have qi doesn't mean you're helpless. now. let's get out of here, shall we?"
sy: *grins at the kids with his bloodied teeth*
sy: *dislocates his wrist to slip out of the immortal binding cables*
ning yingying: *horrified but also kinda impressed*
binghe: *has never been more horny in his life*
--
i just think it would make an interesting dynamic, and maybe make it easier for bingbing to accept his demonic side and instincts if he saw that humans can clearly be epic and badass and ruthless and still be capable of kindness. that his demonic instincts don't make him any less of a person.
after all, if shizun can be... like that, and he's a human, then why would it be a problem if binghe was a bit more... attuned to his instincts too?
#svsss#svsss shitpost#scumbag system#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#luo binghe#bingqiu
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