#it's hilarious every time though

[dragonsbluee]

I'm trying to count how many times Hiccup is captured/kidnapped throughout both series, the movies and the short films, so here's my criteria:

Any time he is unwillingly moved from one location to another by a dragon, viking or other character.

This includes any dragons picking him up and flying off somewhere, even if he is okay with it later.

This does not include when Toothless/his friends drag him off to show him something.

Any situation that prompted the dragon riders to rescue him.

Any plans that involved him giving himself up or joining up with a villain/antagonist.

This does not include the time he and Dagur were trapped on that island together.

Any time he is tied up and led somewhere or locked up/held in place with a guard.

Here is the list of situations I have compiled in (hopefully) chronological order:

HTTYD

Congratulations, no captures or kidnappings.

GIFT OF THE NIGHT FURY

When Meatlug (accidentally) brings Hiccup along to the Rookery.

RIDERS OF BERK

S1E6 - Hiccup gets taken to Dragon Island.

S1E16 - Hiccup is captured by the Outcasts on their island.

S1E19 - Alvin Captures Hiccup and Toothless at the "Isle of Night".

DEFENDERS OF BERK

S1E20 - Hiccup gives himself up to Dagur as part of his plan with Alvin.

RACE TO THE EDGE

S1E1 - the Dragon Riders get captured by Daugr on a hunter ship.

S1E7 -The twins put him in prison (this one's just here because I think it's funny).

S2E6 - The Dragon Hunters capture him.

S2E11 - The Dragon Riders get captured trying to save the Skrill.

S3E1 - Hiccup is captured by Dragon Hunters while trapped on an island with Dagur.

S3E8 - Hiccup and Toothless get caught in a Dragon Hunter Trap and are kidnapped and forced to participate in dragon fights.

S3E12 - Viggo captures all the Dragon Riders at the auction.

S3E13 - The Defenders of the Wing capture the Dragon Riders.

S4E3 - First Hiccup is caught by Amos and Berthel.

S4E3 - Then he's caught by Savage.

S4E3 - Then Krogan gets him after Throk saves him.

S4E3 - Ryker captures him for the tiniest bit right before the riders arrive.

S4E10 - Hiccup is caught with Ruffnut when he tries to rescue her from Viggo's trap. Unlike the other traps, he needs the other dragon riders to rescue them.

S5E2 - The Sandbuster captures Hiccup and Snotlout.

S6E8 - Viggo hands Hiccup over to Krogan as part of their plan.

HTTYD 2

Valka kidnaps Hiccup and Toothless.

HTTYD 3

Grimmel captures the dragon riders.

HOMECOMING

Once again, no captures of kidnappings

Up For Debate:

There are a few situations which technically fit the criteria, but I'm not sure if they fit considering the context of the show:

S5E5 - the riders are stuck on Vanaheim, guarded by the Sentinels. (Rtte)

S1E3 - This is a technicality, but when Hiccup joins up with Dagur to keep him away from the other dragons. (Dob)

EDIT: I forgot that even though my criteria says that the time Dagur and Hiccup are trapped on that island together (S3E1 of RTTE) doesn't count, because he is joining up with an (at the time) antagonist, there is a moment when Hiccup is captured by Dragon Hunters near the end of the episode.

After careful discussion (aka me ranting at my roommate) S4E10 of RTTE is also moving from "up for debate" to the official list. These changes are reflected above.

This brings our official count to 22 captures/kidnappings!

Honestly, the hardest part about this was finding the distinction between being captured or being trapped and what I wanted to count. When Hiccup isn't captured, he spends a lot of time in traps.

[drgnflyteabox]

a little continuation of this. john price x cashier fem!reader. verbal abuse, anxiety, yelling, hurt/comfort, price comes to your retail rescue<3<3 1.4k words

The only good part of a 5am wakeup is watching the sunrise slowly climb the sky.

There’s a quiet sort of tiredness that lets you appreciate it more — and though the lot associates have made a joke about the morning crew and their sunrise photos, there’s an element of truth there that’s both funny and a little beautiful.

It’s a drag to wait outside the doors for a manager to open them, trying not to make eye contact with the early-bird oldies and the impatient contractors who think they should just be allowed in before everyone else based on the amount of money they spend.

When the doors open and the 6am hardware warriors stroll in, ready and chipper, you’re half asleep leaning against your counter.

Another good thing about the early shift is the lack of uptight managers. None of them want to wake up before ten, so you’re safe to lean and lounge while waiting for customers.

A call comes through your earpiece after a few customers, nearing the cusp of 8am.

”Hey, we’ve got the guy coming your way,” your head cash – Lisa – says, voice crackling in the mic. The guy is a rude jerkoff, some contractor who thinks abusing staff is the way to get good service and better prices.

What’s worse is that your managers allow it. In fact, you get warnings like this all the time. The guy is here, the guy has a big order, make sure to cash him out fast or he’ll start shouting. Be pleasant. Smile.

The guy is walking down the store lumber aisle with a pinched expression on his face and two other employees dragging his stacked carts behind him.

You try to ignore his caustic vibes, thinking instead of the pink, purplish sunrise you’d seen earlier. Clouds like magic, cotton candy, floating above you 

You ignore the incessant tapping of his feet, the annoyed groan he makes when you lift a package of insulation up and find flat saw blades.

Sure, you can’t accuse him of stealing. But you can make a cheery, passive aggressive comment–

“Oops, I guess you forgot these!” you chirp, scanning them a little slower than necessary. It’s not mature, but it does make you feel a little better. Nice try, bozo.

Playing the idiot cashier helps with these types. Why are you mad, sir? I’m just a cashier? And though you could answer more questions than you do, you don’t. Playing the ditz makes life easy.

Lisa’s definitely judged you for it, but hey. She’s not stuck at the register like you are.

Sometimes, it works. You get a scowl, but they’ll go quiet. Sometimes.

Today, it backfires.

“Excuse me?” 

Oh here we go, you think. It’s way too early for this.

“What was that, sir?” you play dumb, voice squeaking.

“Are you accusing me of stealing?” his volume raises. You see redness crawling up his neck. Fuck.

“No, no, I only meant–” you try to backtrack. Fuck, fuck. This is the result of your hubris. Your reasoning flies out through the massive lumber area doors as his rage climbs.

“No? No? Because I think you just accused me of stealing. Do you understand how much I spend here, you moron?”

“I do, I didn’t mean to imply–”

“Get me a fucking manager, now,” he snaps. God, you have no clue if he acts like this to get his way, to get discounts, or if he’s really this angry half the time he comes in.

Regardless, the effect is real. You’ve never been good with anger, and you’re shaking a little as you press the call button on your pager.

“C-Can I please have a manager down to lumber cash?” you broadcast to the store.

All you can think of is looking away from his angry gaze while you wait. Oh, a bubble bath – you have an aloe and green tea bubble bath packet at home waiting for you.

Hot water. Bubble bath. Manager to fix this mess. Maybe a hot chocolate after work?

A couple minutes pass. Longest minutes of your life.

No answer. The guy taps his foot, sighing loudly, angrily. You try again.

“Can I please have a manager down to lumber cash?”

Oh fuck, is that someone else in line? You turn away bodily, speaking again into your mic. Trying to look like you’re doing something about the wait.

Another couple minutes. Despair washes over you like a cold blanket of snow.

“Need a manager at lumber cash,” you try.

Typical, really. Lisa is likely on break, and you have no idea who’s managing the store at the moment.

You imagine it’s likely Cody, who’s good with contractors like this because he's personable but he’s also lazy it almost cancels out. Also, he takes a smoke break every 5 minutes.

And never takes his pager.

“What the fuck is taking so long?” you hear behind you.

“I’m sorry,” you say, turning. “My manager is busy at the moment but–”

“Busy?” his voice is like a gunshot in the airy space, an absurd volume for the time.

“Yes–”

“Do you know–”

A third voice cuts in.

“Think you better learn a little patience, mate,” British?

Oh, shit. It’s that guy from before. He’s got one hip a little cocked, a frown on his face like he’s smelled something bad. His boonie hat is titled down, nearly covering his eyes. You can see them because you’re shorter than he is.

“Excuse me? And who are you? Mind your business,” the guy says.

“I think you’d better let the nice girl check me out while you wait,” he motions for you towards the parallel cash desk, and you’re grateful to just follow.

You scurry away from the guy faster than is appropriate, calling out again as you cross the open space towards the other cash desk for a manager.

You can only hope they arrive while you’re helping this one. John Price, you think his name was. He's a memorable man. Him and his moustache and his expensive company.

John Price has left the guy flabbergasted. He also has twice as many carts as him, and when your eyes widen to see them he just says take your time in a smooth, deep voice.

Oh man.

You do take your time, already calmer for John’s presence. Strange maybe to feel safe in the company of a stranger, a contractor no less, but it’s a nice change of pace.

Beep, beep. You scan methodically. John has no hidden items, and he doesn’t pressure you. He leans up against his lumber order and watches you check underneath things, under the cart, doing everything you’re trained to do.

“Start early?” he asks.

“Hm?” you lift your head. “Oh, yes. 6am.”

He whistles.

“Hard worker, I see,” he helps you lift a heavy bag of concrete.

“Thank you,” Marx look away, you think. Your face is only a little hot.

Cody strolls in the lumber doors missing his apron and – you guessed it – his pager. You fix him with a look as he smiles in greeting.

“Need a manager when you’re free,” you rush. Cody is nice, but you’re kinda miffed now.

“Oh, sure,” he says, walking by you toward the breakroom.

John Price raises a brow.

“Not everyone’s up to the task, eh?”

You feel hot again.

“It’s just early.”

John smiles. He looks remarkably silly doing it, you think. His facial hair makes him look approachable, cuddly. Like a teddy bear.

John’s order totals double the guy, which isn’t really a victory for you but it feels like one. Ha! See, you aren’t the richest guy here. You feel vindicated. Cody looks miserable cashing him out, which makes you just a little guilty.

“Will that be cash or card?” you ask, finger hovering on the POS.

He pays with card. You certainly do not notice how he cradles the machine. You aren’t that down bad.

Only you are, and his fingers are huge. His knuckles are hairy.

When you go to hand him the receipts, printed twice for record keeping, he manages to slip a 50 into your hand before you notice.

“Oh, no! I’m not allowed to–”

He folds those big bear paws over your hand, enclosing the cash in it with a sh sh sh as you protest.

“For the trouble,” he winks.

“You didn’t give me any trouble,” you try. The warmth of his palm, the roughness of his calluses. You’re a goner.

He chuckles, and you wonder how he can be both so intense and so disarming.

“You know what I mean, sweetheart,” he squeezes your hand, pushing it gently back towards you until you can put it in your apron pocket.

“Thank you,” you squeeze out.

“Don’t let him get to you,” he says.

“I’ll try,” you thank God or the universe or whoever that Cody and the guy finished a while ago.

“Attagirl.”

Yeah, you’re a goner.

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

They’re so good

[sunny-sainz]

he needs to go for p3 again so we can get a carlos pole 😭😭😭

[neil-neil-orange-peel]

I think one of the oft unsaid rules of the sitcom is: make sure your characters say each others' names almost every time they address one another. Just do it. Keep saying those names. DO IT. FOREVER!

[itwoodbeprefect]

stoic illiterate unwilling assassin deeply in love with unfailingly kind rich sad gay man almost stabs his crush's brother because the brother cares so much and so genuinely for the gay man that he searched assassin's room out of worry and found knives and a mysterious letter before being interrupted by the assassin who then does not want to show him the letter which seems incredibly suspicious, only for a later scene (after the gay man interrupts them and thus stops any escalation from happening) to quietly reveal that the very sus letter in possession of this illiterate assassin is not in fact a sign he's lying about being illiterate.... it's just two pages of him practicing the gay man's name over and over in neatly spaced lines...... a reveal which he was going to STAB a man over because he doesn't know that the gay man's brother knows the man is gay and loves him with his whole heart and would never ever do anything to hurt him........ i will never get over this, how could i ever get over this, everything else ever is going to be downhill from here

[aphelea]

first time we see alvar he chugs a glass of wine in a sip, talks about his 3 girlfriends and proceeds to call known facts a hoax. truly what a guy

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso × Unconventional Drinking Implements

[coldcanadianwinters]

I just like the fact that Simon apparently has about a million of the exact same polaroid of Betty smiling at the camera. This man must have told her to hold still and keep that smile on her face for like 2 hours as he just snapped shot after shot so he could guarantee that he'd always have her by his side (and also always be able to make rituals ifg HFGDHS)

[longagoitwastuesday]

I just saw a Gojo-like guy in a store. He was eyeing those purple shampoos for white dyed hair, I think. He had the height and the round glasses and all. It was uncanny, truly like out of the anime. Never had seen someone pull a character's look as well as this guy. I was this 👌 close to approach him and ask him to read Georg Cantor, like a cultist stalker, but fortunately (for him) I was with my mother so I behaved

[qqueenofhades]

Don't know about y'all, but I am READY for fall. Like, seriously.

[harocat]

People who don’t like Xiao Lanhua are weak and won’t survive the winter.

[deep-sea-anemone]

I still think they should have given opla Sanji curly eyebrows. Like, I can understand not doing Usopp's nose because there's not really a way to make it not-comical, plus once prosthetics get that long they get kinda wobbly. You can see it with Arlong's prosthetic in some scenes.

But the eyebrows??? Just look at how the cosplayers do it! It doesn't need to be some big swirl, just a little curl at the end. I know they can't keep his face half covered all the time cause real life hair doesn't really work like that so idk maybe the fact that the eyebrows both curl the same way might be a little jarring/spoilery for new people, but he would just look so much better.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

there is something deeply wrong with me

[another-goblin]

So Blade became immortal while trying to make a baby with his husband. Blade at the moment was a 100+ y/o short living normal human man, so of course necromancy was involved (not the way you just thought, even though it would've probably made more sense than what actually happened).

Some cannibalism was also probably involved. And the dead body of their best friend. Who might or might not have died while fighting the husband who temporarily turned into a monster. Or it was the friend who turned into a monster. Or it might have been an unrelated monster (whom Blade later ate. Wait, did he defeat the monster by eating it? Why did he swear to take revenge on DF then? Did DF make Blade eat that monster? Who knows!)

The funny thing is the HCQ canon is such a clusterfuck that all these things are either literally canon or can be inferred from what we know. And I think the writers probably consider the HCQ story finished, so we'll never know for sure what actually happened. And it's probably for the best.

[sonknuxadow]

i hate being overly negative about a new sonic project because. while im not against criticizing them and will criticize them when i see fit. i still try to find the positives in everything sonic even the games that are widely labelled as irredeemable garbage. because i love sonic and i hate it when sonic is the punching bag of the internet and i do genuinely believe that every piece of sonic media has at least some good qualities but like. the knuckles series really isnt very good im sorry people are right about this one . and i say this as someone who likes the sonic movies and thought knuckles was awesome in sonic 2 . where did we go wrong as a society