#it's hard to explain to people but this is what I'm talking about

[maxisodenoth]

Oops, forgot to block.

But anyways, it seems like you don't understand.

Let me put it like this for you.

You have been provided links with proof [that I'm sure you didn't even touch.] And instead of bringing up any point related to them you stick to your same arguments.

I asked you a simple yes or no question, and you seem to have taken it personally. It doesn't matter to me what you think the answer is, because the answer is always no. An infertile woman is just as much of a woman as any other. We are what we want to be. Your words mean nothing to me, and other peoples identity. [which let me remind you *again* that you've been provided links in the comments which explain this stuff better than I ever could]

[And let me tell you something. Just because we can't have kids right now doesn't mean it'll remain that way in the future. I believe that something will be figured out later in the future that will allow trans-people to be able to reproduce with their new reproductive apparatuses. Whether that takes years or decades doesn't matter. It'll happen.]

You used word meanings as "arguments". May I remind you that, words were created far before any research was done on this matter? [Not exaclty sure when or how much words change but I'm almost sure it's a pretty slow process, so they might be a bit or alot outdated. Not sure though.] And that maybe instead of etymology, you should be looking at psychology, and biology? [Links in the comments~] Trying to use words meanings as arguments doesn't really work out that well when we're not talking about words but people.

[And by the way. Where is your evidence? You've been provided links explaining this stuff, yet when pressed, you only choose to go to ... a dictionary? Really?]

[Also, since you've stooped into insults let me get in on that action.]

Why do you care so much? Like really. Why does this matter that much to you? Are you that miserable that the only joy you get is by hating on other people being themselves and happy?

Look, I know it's hard to find a purpose in life, or a job, but it'd be alot easier if you stopped being a prick and just let people be themselves. There's no reason to hate people who literally don't affect you in any shape or form. They're just being themselves. Cope. [Your final reminder that there are links in the comments!~]

Or do you just refuse to grow up and understand that it doesn't matter what you say. People will be themselves and happier than you will ever be?

I am not a debator. I'm just some angry penguin on the internet. I have left my piece here. And I won't forget to block this time. May this be the last time I see your miserable blog on my feed.

And for everyone else who comes across this post, trans or otherwise. Your identity is Valid. You know yourselves better than some stranger on the internet. Or anyone who's not you. Because it's Your Identity. Not these peoples.

Do not let the hateful words of bigots make you feel bad about youself. You are the only one who can choose your identity. Not some idiots on the internet. You. And let me say this again Your identity is always valid. No matter what others say. ❤️

Goodbye. 👋

[Even if you reply to this, I'm not wasting anymore of my time on you John. You've been given links, read them. The same goes for any asshole who wants to start another argument. I do not care for you. Find someone else to deal with your bullshit.]

Facts matter. #VoteBlue

[bubblez-bubble]

Guys.

Natsu leaving Lucy with nothing but a note was way sadder than you think.

The last words Lucy ever heard from her father she didn't even actually get to hear, she read them on paper.

So imagine how devastated she was that Fairy Tail disbanded and she went home to find a note from Natsu that he was leaving without her. (Honestly I think I have that switched, please correct me if I do.)

But just like when her dad died, when Natsu left she felt like she had no one left and no home to go back to anymore, so she packed up and left for Crocus to start over.

Now I don't know if Layla got the chance to speak to Lucy with any final goodbyes before she passed, but let's believe for a moment that she didn't and that she left Lucy with a letter explaining how much her mother loved her like her father did. Yes the circumstances are different, but also bare in mind no parent wants to see their child suffer, so forcing Lucy to watch Layla die slowly and painfully probably wasn't on Laylas agenda.

So it's plausible she also left Lucy with a letter.

Which also makes her writing letters to her mom and dad after they die even sadder, even though she knows they'll never get to read them, that was the note they left her on.

So with that mind, it stands to reason that Lucy subconsciously associates receiving a letter from someone as a goodbye is a final goodbye and she'll never get to see them again.

Which could explain why she was so distressed about Natsu leaving her with a note instead of talking her face-to-face. She probably would've been more understanding and less upset about Natsus decision had he actually talked to her.

Sure there may have been a "let me come with you" back and forth, but if Natsu had told her no and explained why, she probably would've been able to let him go easier with that understanding.

But because at least one, potentially two people, had left her with no more than a letter as a final goodbye, it's possible that Natsus "harmless" note was actually extremely emotionally damaging for Lucy and maybe even traumatizing. Because people that leave her with letters are people she never gets to see or hear from again.

Now you could argue Natsu left a note and not a letter, but pen on paper is still pen on paper and words that'll never be spoken aloud.

On the flip side to this, a small part of me feels that Natsu leaving Lucy with a note was also a call back to the time Lucy left him with a note when she went to confront her father.

Except, if that's the case, it almost makes it hard to feel bad for Lucy.

In Natsus note he explained he and Happy were going away to train and even specified how long they'd be gone.

Lucy's note simply said "I will go home."

That's it.

No timeline of when or if she'll return.

No explanation why.

Nothing.

"I will go home."

Which makes Natsu and the others panicking and going to get her back make a lot of sense because that makes it sound like she's going home and staying put to protect them.

Which would've been sweet if that's what she was actually doing.

In my opinion, her note should've said something along the lines of "I'm going home to stop my father, I'll return soon." or something to that degree.

The only reason it's easier to feel bad for Lucy is because unlike Lucy who specified her location (kind of), and made it easier for them to find her (because obviously if you ask enough people about an affluent family, chances are somebody knows where they live), while Natsu gave no direction at all, just that he was leaving to train and would be back in a year.

Each of their notes complimented each other in a way, each leaving out details the other made sure to include, almost as if Natsu remembered how freaked out he was when Lucy left with a note and made sure to include the details she hadn't before, but forgetting to mention the details she did give them, or perhaps, the more likely option, he didn't quite yet know his destination because he was traveling to train and just couldn't give her one.

Which their notes being the exact opposite of each other's on almost opposite ends of the series is like their relationship itself.

Lucy, a bright, intelligent, beautiful, and emotionally fragile girl who knows who she is and where she's going in life and shes happy with it, and then there's Natsu, not exactly the smartest, canonically considered ugly (because the people of their world are fucking blind!), and very stoic and self preserved with his emotions for the most part (unless it helps him unlock some important plot device power up), he struggles with who he is or which direction his life is heading, all he knows is he needs to get stronger.

She's calm, he's impulsive.

She thinks with her head, he acts with his heart.

Even their living situations are complete opposites, which, a little psychology lesson real quick, actually reflects on their mental states. Lucy's apartment is always cleaned and organized just like her thoughts while Natsus house is cluttered and dirty like his thoughts.

These two were literally made to compliment one another, right down to how they took off with nothing but a note.

With that in mind, it's very sweet that they compliment each other so well to that degree, however it still doesn't change the fact that it's possible that to Lucy, Natsu's note felt like a final goodbye like she had received from her father and potentially (not canonically) her mother.

I know this is a little scattered but it all came back to the note in the end at least. 😅

Thanks for coming to my very scatter-brained Ted talk.

[everestgale]

Skeptic for the ask thingy? :D

I'm getting through these so slowly 😭 Sorry for the wait! Time to ramble about everyone's favorite detective bird-

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

favorite thing about them

Weirdly, it's the contrast between how intelligent and logical Skeptic is as a character vs. how absurd and irrational the Construct is. The way Skeptic fights and seeks universal singular truth in a world that, by design, does not have any... which was so masterfully highlighted in the Cage and the new Den. I remember genuinely exclaiming "SKEPTIC NO, STOP-" when the tunnel began collapsing (though in fairness, Hero is the one who started it). And the way Skeptic blamed himself for not "thinking it through," because that's how he thinks the world around him should work:

"Why for the love of everything did I not think about the stability of the tunnels?! I'm supposed to be smarter than this! I'm supposed to have a plan for everything."

And the entire dialogue with Hero following that line, too-

...Long story short, there is something very tragic but incredibly appealing about putting a character, who is all about facts, logic, and deduction, into a world that shifts based on your perception where nothing is certain. Sorry Skeptic, love you Skeptic </3

[What's up with all these asks getting so long... more under the cut </3]

least favorite thing about them

Rewritten and deleted lines from the Prisoner. Hands down. It's one of the few things I dislike about the DLC, and I choose to not accept it as canon. I really, really miss that triumphant "I knew it!" followed by "She couldn't tip her hand to Him. He wouldn't have let us leave." It really highlighted Skeptic's intelligence, along with an innate desire to trust the Prisoner, to think of her as someone with a plan. She wouldn't just cut off her own head like that, and he knew it.

I understand that this was done to make the lead-up to the Cage easier / more natural... but I feel like there were other ways to do it! Hero is right there, and he just watched Prisoner cut her head off, he could be disturbed and panicking about the whole situation and really want to leave, which would feel quite natural too! And then perhaps Skeptic was sure that Prisoner had a plan, but after you choose to leave her behind... he isn't so sure anymore, which could lead to him slowly losing his mind and devolving during the Cage. That would've been perfect, at least in my opinion!

Honorable mention goes to the fact that, even after the Pristine Cut, he still feels a little underutilized to me. I talked about it in my Paranoid character ask, but Deconstructed Damsel -> HEA should've had Skeptic instead of Paranoid (T v T)

favorite line

"You have the attention span of a fly. How are we supposed to unravel the mysteries of this place if you're so easily distracted by empty promises?"

Honestly I feel you, Hero, I also have the attention span of a fly-

And of course, how can I not mention: "Yes, yes, don't believe a word she says. Just go in, take the knife, and do what you're supposed to. Wink."

brOTP

I already talked about how I really like the Grey Brothers (Skeptic + Smitten) dynamic in Smitten's post, it's very fun to imagine these two as very different people who have very little in common... but who still care about each other.

But I also want to mention Skeptic + Hunted. I liked the idea of them being comfortable in each other's spaces even before the extended Den. And with them working together so well in the Den post-Pristine Cut, I think they would have a pretty close friendship.

Everest trying really hard to explain a dynamic they like, without resorting to just "they cool. me like them"-

OTP

For the record, I HC my Skeptic as aroace (or demiromantic asexual, I haven't fully decided yet). That will not stop my QPR-Skeptunist from completely taking over my brain <3

There is something very appealing about their dynamic - Opportunist is trying to get on Skeptic's "good side" and is interested in how intelligent Skeptic is (and how he could utilize that intelligence for his schemes), while Skeptic is curious about Opportunist and that rat brain of his (/aff), trying to see what's beneath those layers and layers of masks that Oppy likes to wear. In a way, they are both almost trying to outsmart one another, but from a place of curiosity... which could lead them to slowly enjoy each other's company :]

Also, this ship is really funny, and it's hilarious to imagine all the stupid scenarios they find themselves in- OH, and I wrote this on them like a month ago:

"I do genuinely feel like they would, not always but often, enjoy each other's company and yap - we all know that Skeptic is listening to Oppy's endless rambles to understand that gremlin mind of his, but I feel like he would come to like Oppy's weird plans and logic as a sort of 'new perspective' - and Oppy really appreciates someone acknowledging 'his genius,' and maybe in turn, he would also listen to Skeptic's esoteric rambles on stenography (it feels like they would be interesting, and depending on the topic, Oppy could actually be genuinely interested in Skeptic's yap in like a "oh, this would be helpful for my next scheme" kind of way)"

...I like this ship way too much for how little they interact in the game (which is "not at all")

Honorable mention almost goes to ParaSkep, courtesy of @/wintergrofyuri and @/itsonlypolite. It's so close to clicking with me (it feels like a dynamic I would like, I want to like them)... but it's just barely not it, I don't know what exactly, but something is missing / just not quite clicking with me (T v T)

nOTP

Don't think I have any nOTPs for Skeptic! I haven't seen any ship with him that I disliked :]

random headcanon

I already mentioned like 3 headcanons in this post: the fact that my Skeptic is aroace (or demiromantic ace), the fact that my Skeptic knows shorthand (and writes exclusively in it), the fact that Skeptic is actually a yapper who likes to explain and go in-depth on the topics he finds interesting... /silly

Let's add another one! I like the idea of a linguistics nerd Skeptic, who is really into the etymology of words (I talked about it in this post where I talked about voice's hobbies!), sounds like the kind of thing Skeptic would be interested in.

Are any of these HCs based on anything from the game? Nope! These are all entirely based on ✨ vibes ✨.

unpopular opinion

To be honest, I don't know what counts as an "unpopular opinion" for Skeptic. I don't think I have any? At least none that I feel strongly about, most of my opinions about Skeptic are either directly based on the lines from the game OR are completely irrelevant silly HCs based on nothing but my own likes lol

song i associate with them

I very rarely listen to just instrumental music (outside of lo-fi and a couple specific artists)... but none of the songs I listen to really fit Skeptic. And so my first instinct is... the original Objection! theme from Phoenix Wright-

Also Open the Game by Jiro. Not the kind of music I usually listen to, but a friend suggested it to me as "music that fits Skeptic" a while ago, and I agree with my friend, I think it really suits him in terms of musical style :]

favorite picture of them

...I'm going to be honest, I'm currently debating if I should give Skeptic a major re-design (because something about his current design just irks me). But if I had to pick an image for Skeptic that I made, it would be this-

...I don't think I shared this before (I probably will in a doodle dump of "voices in dresses" sometime in the future), but this is Skeptic in Alice in Wonderland's dress. A few friends and I joked too much about how awful of a time Skeptic would have in Wonderland, and so this was born!

[lieutenantbatshit]

CHAPTER 06 - once you go in, there's no turning back (hwang in ho x reader)

>> MASTERLIST

previous chapter | next chapter

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You focused your gaze on the line in front of you as you await your turn. You felt your stomach grumble a bit, an indication that you were already hungry. You've been so caught up with what's happening in this hellhole that it didn't cross your mind that you needed food. You wished for the food to be good, something nutritious at least. If they were going to let you compete on these games, they might as well at least give you a fulfilling food to prepare you.

The guards hand you a gold, rectangular lunch box and a bottled water. You reached for it, turning your back from the guards as you made your way towards 456's group, who were sitting on the staircase near their self-assigned beds. You had a lot of questions on your mind, especially with why he approached you in the club, and about being the sole winner years ago. You thought it may be a bit bold and abrupt to ask such a traumatizing event, but your gut was telling you to at least ask, to know what was out there.

If he was indeed part of the games back then, he would probably know the next games.

"Ahjussi," you spoke up, earning a glance from 456. You seemed to have interrupted his conversation with player 390. You noticed 456 eyeing your patch, a small smile forming his lips as he saw the X patch. "Do you remember me?"

456, clearly confused, eyed you as if trying to remember you. 390 also shot you a confused look. "I'm sorry, miss. Do we know you?"

You ignored 390, feeling a bit of annoyance as you were talking to 456, not him. 456 seemed to soften his expression as he spoke, "Oh, have we met before?"

"You approached me in the club," you explained. "Then I found you here. Were you looking for something else?"

456 nodded, now remembering. "Ah, yeah I remember," he gave you a reassuring smile, somewhat apologetic. "I'm sorry about that, miss. I was looking for someone else at that time."

"Were you also picked up in the club by these... people?" You motioned your head towards the guards. He nodded, reluctantly meeting your gaze. Just as when you were about to speak again, you heard your stomach grumble.

456 and 390 seemed to hear it, as 390 moved himself and motioned for a space for you to sit. "Oh, you may as well eat with us, miss."

You gave 390 a bow, taking the space beside him. You fixed yourself up as you opened your lunchbox, seeing a good set of rice meal. This was the kind of meal your mother used to make for you back then, a small smile forming your lips as you remember it. At least, there was something comforting in this place, making you remember your mother.

"I don't know about you, but that 20 million wouldn't even cover my interest," 390 said, munching on his food. You noticed 456 staring into space, his expression dark as if he was thinking hard. He didn't bother opening his food. "If we play just one more game..."

"Jung-bae," 456 replied coldly. So, 390's name was Jung-bae, you figured. "Last time I was here, someone said the exact same thing. And in the end, the person died here."

You froze as you took a spoonful of your food to your mouth, slowly eyeing 456. You were correct, you figured only one person can win the total grand prize. There was no way you would make it out here alive.

"Help us then, sir," you looked up and saw Player 001, a crowd of players following him from behind. He kept his gaze to 456, his expression somewhat comforting yet... something. "I pressed the O button because of you. Honestly, I was so scared. I wanted to quit and leave, but you made me think maybe I could just play one more game."

As much as the darkness prevailed in this place, you knew to your gut that he was right. You knew deep inside you that 456 may have wanted to save everyone, stating that he was a winner back then and its consequences of being one. Though the fact that he survived may be a motivation for the others to complete and win the games. The system, not seemingly rigged, was a calculated and precise one.

"Sir," you spoke, the attention turning to you as they waited for you to continue. You felt each eye on you, making you a bit conscious but continued to speak. 456 looked at you, seemingly surprised. "You know which game is next, don't you?"

"That's right," Jung-bae said, putting his food down. "You're a previous winner, so you should know." He moved his face near 456, his question almost a whisper but still loud enough to hear. "What are we playing next?"

456 sighed softly. "The second game was Dalgona."

You heard the bed frame creak from your upper left, seeing a man who continued to eat on his lunch. He bent down a bit, earning the attention of the small crowd you were in. You saw his number, Player 388. "Dalgona? The sugar candy with a shape you can carve out?"

456 nodded. "That's right, we had to choose one of four shapes and carve it out."

You stayed silent as you continued to eat, enjoying the meal despite the commotion around you. You felt Jung-bae move as he positioned himself closer to 456. "Four shapes? Which was the easiest one?"

"Triangle."

"Which was the hardest one?"

"Umbrella."

"Umbrella?" You exclaimed, a bit of rice splashing from your mouth. You quickly covered your mouth, almost choking. You bowed to everyone and apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. So I'm assuming the ones who picked umbrella had no little chance to survive?"

You grabbed your bottle of water as you coughed a bit, trying to calm yourself down. Then, 001 spoke up, the amusement in his expression evident. "Those unlucky bastards must have bitten the dust."

You saw 456 glare at 001 for a bit. You grimaced, thinking maybe 456 chose umbrella last time. You noticed 456 raise an eyebrow but looked away, sighing deeply.

"So, that means we should all just pick triangle," 388 said. "Everyone could probably pass the round."

Player 100 advanced in front, hushing the crowd. "If all 365 of us survive, the prize money won't go up at all. Then we'll have risked our lives again for nothing."

You looked at 100 in disbelief. You couldn't believe how he could think of such, so hungry for money. It added to more to your disgust when you hear the others agree, your thoughts being proven correct again on human greed.

"Listen," 100 whispered. "We should probably keep this information to ourselves. What do you say?" He looked at 001, as if waiting for him to agree. For a brief moment, you saw 001's eyes glance at you. It was so brief that you could miss it in the blink of an eye, but you knew he did.

"We can't do that," 456 retorted, the crowd's silent cheers fading. "I'm telling you this to save everyone's lives. If it's confirmed that the next game is Dalgona, I'm going to tell everyone what I know."

100 only scoffed, turning his back to 456 and walked away, shaking his head in disbelief as he did so. You noticed 001's eyes fixed on 456, as if trying to see his next moves were. You can't help but look at him, his hair pushed down perfectly neat, his eyes holding an emotion you couldn't decipher, his posture composed, opposite to the other players in this room.

001 looked away, his chest heaved as if he took a deep breath. The other players grumbled as they followed 100. The area seemed to be less suffocating as it is, when you decided to speak up again. "What if the games have changed since you won, sir?"

456 shot you a look. In your peripheral vision, you saw 001 look at you. "What do you mean?"

"They said the players are given a new advantage where we could go home and share the accumulated prize money," you explained. "It's a new advantage. I'm assuming in the past game you were in, voting for the games to end will leave you with nothing, is that right?"

456 nodded. You looked at Jung-bae who seemed to consider your words. While 001 kept his eyes on you, listening intently as you analyze the situation.

"They could change the games this time, or every season if they do that," you continued. "We can't be sure that Dalgona would be next."

"She's right," Jung-bae said as he nodded. "They probably know that the previous winner is with us."

You nodded back in agreement. "They have our information, for sure. No one's going to walk out of here with that prize money when someone like you could easily give us information on the new games. In every game, there are rules. One that must be fair and equal for everyone."

You looked at 001, who seemed to be amused with your words, though you could see how he was trying to hide it. You didn't realize how both of you were staring at each other for a minute, only for him to look away and turn his gaze to 456. "May I ask you something?" He sat down near you, feeling your knees brush against his back. "Why did you come back to this place? You said you won and made it out. Then you must've received 45.6 billion." You thought he stopped there, but he continued again. "Did you spend it all?"

"That money doesn't belong to me," 456 said, his tone assertive. "It's blood money for the people who died here." He looked up and pointed at the piggy bank. "The same goes for the money up there."

You felt 001 move his body a bit as you moved your knees away a bit, giving him room to sit back. "It's not like you killed those people, and saving that money won't bring them back to life."

You thinned your lips, the feeling of empathy washing over you as you imagine the lives taken in this place. You were a bit taken aback when you see 456 moving his body near 001, who seemed to hold a tense look in his eyes, filled with frustration. "If you had pressed X, everyone here would've made it out alive."

001 paused, seemingly absorbing his words. You stared at him as he continued to speak, feeling the tension between the two. "That's right, I was the last person to press the O button. But there were more 182 people who chose to stay."

"And there were 182 other people who chose to leave," you muttered, earning a look from 001 in front of you. His eyes stared at you intently, sensing the darkness behind it. You almost regretted speaking, but you couldn't help but retort. As much as you agreed with him, you still held hope that O team would change their minds.

001 didn't seem fazed. In fact, he was able to choose his words carefully. "Let's say, I pressed X and we all left. Would everyone have been happy?" He stated, his tone commanding but determined to make a point. "Do you think if they ran into me later, they'd thank me for saving their lives and tell me they're happy now?" He tilted his head on to you, trying to get an answer from you. You only looked at him sternly, the tension now between the two of you. You clenched your jaw, feeling your heart beat faster through your chest.

Honestly, you didn't know what to say. You never lived a day in poverty, you never felt the need of being in debt nor having to borrow money so you could sustain your needs. If you think about it, you've been risking your life for nothing alongside the other players. You had no place in the game, what more of a purpose? You were simply there for the thrill of it, nothing less, and nothing more. You were set for life, only to throw yourself in this pathetic, deadly situation with the others.

Winning the prize money would grant you nothing. It would just make your bank account accumulate more fortune, but nothing in your life would change at all. You didn't want to admit it to them, but you also didn't want to lose the argument. If you were going to die at this place, you could at least make your stay memorable.

"All right," Jung-bae spoke up, enough to snap you away from your thoughts. "There's no point in placing blame now. You know the saying, a widow understands a widower best." Jung-bae chuckled uncomfortably, trying to somehow ease the tension. "Let's just focus on tomorrow's game okay? He has won all these games before. If we stick together, we'll have nothing to worry about."

"That's right, sirs," the man from your upper left dropped down, turning to face the three of you. "We have to stick together. I'll be with you all the way."

"Who are you?" Jung-bae asked, looking at Player 388.

"I'm Dae-ho. Kang Dae-ho," Dae-ho reached out his hand in attempt to shake Jung-bae's, only to be ignored by him.

You started to space out, still feeling the tension between you and 001. You felt your ego crush a bit, having to lose an argument with him. In all your life, especially in your marketing career, you dominated the industry. You were always ahead of everything, calculating every next move for your plans to work. You worked you way through sales, it's no wonder how your boss promoted you to a higher position, putting his trust into you as their company's percentage continuously goes up, thanks to your help.

001 only proceeded to eat his food, his gaze not leaving you. 456 and Jung-bae turned their attention to Dae-ho, who introduced himself as a former Marine. You stared into space but felt 001's eyes on you. At this point, you started to brace yourself for the next games. You didn't know who he was, what he was capable of. He may remind you of In-ho, but the In-ho you knew would never believe in such a statement that 001 said.

As you finished your food, you chugged on your bottled water. It was a fulfilling meal, at least. You laid back a bit, trying to savor the meal you just had. You almost daydreamed, hoping to get out of this place as soon as possible so you could enjoy more of the meal you just ate.

You jolted in surprise when you heard a loud thud on the ground, seeing 230 beat Myung-gi, along 124. They clearly had no manners, fighting in the middle of meal time. You wished for a guard to come in and stop the two, but they stood still with their guns, letting the commotion continue.

You saw 001 stand up as he brushed Jung-bae and Dae-ho aside, speaking up. "Boys, what are you doing in the middle of mealtime?" He walked towards 230, whose name you heard was Thanos. "No fights during mealtime. There are elders present. Mind your manners."

You looked intently to 001. For a tensed situation as this, his posture remained composed. He looked at Thanos sternly as he continued to speak. "And two against one? Aren't you embarrassed?"

Thanos faced him, eyeing him from up and down as if trying to size him up. He started to walk up to 001, as 124 followed. "You're lecturing me when you ended up in this shithole too?" Thanos scoffed. "Dude, stop running your mouth and take care of your own damn kids."

You could see 001's fist clench, staring darkly to Thanos. Though he didn't flinch as Thanos moved crudely, trying to distract him. 001 tilted his head. "What did you just say?"

Thanos moved closer to 001, eyeing him. "I said save the lecture for your own damn kids."

In just a snap, you let out a gasp as you see 001 grab Thanos by the neck, earning a grunt from him. 124 marched to 001, only to be kicked in the leg by him and kicked him away, leaving 124 groan to the ground.

Thanos seemed to let go from 001's grip, attempting to advance towards 001 to place his fist on to him, only for 001 to duck and punch Thanos on his stomach, earning a groan from him. Thanos raised his hand up but 001 relentlessly twists his arm, his bones cracking as he fell to the ground. 001, seemingly unfazed, kicked him some more.

Thanos stayed on the ground as 001 grabbed his neck, gripping it with his other fist in the air. You stood up, catching more sight of the commotion. You watched as 001's eyes darkened, as if he could break Thanos in a snap. "I'm sorry...." Thanos choked. "Please..."

You noticed 001 charge his fist, then his eyes darted on you, his other hand still gripping Thanos' throat. Your eyes widened, your heart about to burst to your chest. You couldn't but feel shivers down your spine, wondering why he was looking at you as 001 did so. Was he threatening you? Was he trying to prove a point?

One thing's for sure - you didn't want to be on the other end of his hand. There was something dangerous to this man, something deeper than what you see from him right now.

"Let me go..." Thanos begged, his voice starting to strain. 001's eyes slowly softened, letting his grip go, his eyes still on you.

You looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze anymore. You heard the sound of claps and people cheering, but you didn't join them. If anything, you felt your life was in danger. Not because of the games, but how 001 was invested in you, or what seemed to be.

"Ahjussi," you approached 456. "Will it be okay to join your group?"

456 nodded, immediately motioning a space on the bed near him. "Yes, yes. Also," 456 sighed softly. "Call me Gi-hun."

"Gi-hun," you said, a small smile forming your lips. "Thank you. I'm Y/N."

Gi-hun returned your smile, letting you take over the space for you to make yourself comfortable. You heard 001's footsteps approaching, purposely averting your gaze. If there's anything, you needed to survive in this place, so steering clear of 001 could somehow help you.

Yet you couldn't deny the charm he had. As much as you wanted to distance yourself from him, he held his gaze to you that was mixed with curiosity and... longing. Deep inside you, you enjoy the thrill of it, wanting to know more about 001. He reminded you of In-ho, the way he carries himself around the place.

You tucked yourself under the blanket as you notice the other players fixing their beds. In a few hours, lights would be out.

----

"Honey, I'm sorry..." You heard Jung-bae say, his voice drooling as he slept.

You couldn't sleep. Sure, your eyes were closed but you just couldn't fall asleep. You tried counting sheeps, the alphabet, from 1 to 100, but your senses stayed awake.

The lights in dorm were dimmed, the piggy bank with its money shone its light to the room, giving it a warm touch to the room. The lights for X and O shone through the ground. In a few minutes, the lights would be out. Though you wanted to sleep, but your mind didn't want to.

You figured it was just the tension filled in the room as everyone settled on their beds, trying to get some sleep. While some players still chatted with each other, exchanging names and getting to know each other's backstories. You sighed as you heard some of them, hearing how some decided to play to pay for their child's treatment, gambling addiction, got scammed, didn't get their investment back, and so many more. Your heart felt heavy as you listened to their stories, clutching your chest as a sign of empathy.

You heard footsteps approaching near you. You were at the top of the bunk bed, with Gi-hun down you. You looked down for a bit and saw 001, looking at Gi-hun, his face softened this time.

"Excuse me," 001 said, his voice low. "If you're still up, can we have a little talk?"

You felt movement at the bottom, sensing Gi-hun to sit right up. 001 sat on the staircase near Gi-hun. "Sure," you hear Gi-hun say.

You laid back down, trying not to get caught to eavesdrop. You closed your eyes, trying to catch some sleep, but you couldn't help but hear them. "I think I was out of line before. I'd like to apologize," 001 said, his tone soft and sincere this time. "I'm sorry."

"No, that's okay," Gi-hun replied, as if reassuring the latter. "I laid all the blame on you. I was out of line."

You thinned your lips, realizing how Gi-hun could be so nice. As much as you didn't want to trust people in this place, you can't help but feel a sense of trust and hope for Gi-hun. Though for 001, you were still on guard, in case something happens. You couldn't trust someone who could easily grab someone by the throat, almost killing them.

You heard 001 take a deep breath, sighing heavily. This time, his voice held a strain, his vulnerability showing. "My wife is very sick. She has acute cirrhosis. She needs a liver transplant."

You felt your heart drop a bit, kind of hating yourself for it. An unfamiliar feeling washed over you, your emotions debating as it confused you, wondering why you felt this way.

"But when she was going through the tests, we found out she was pregnant," 001 paused, his voice cracking. You couldn't help but peek, turning your head over and saw tears forming in his eyes. "The doctor suggested a termination, but she won't listen. Says she'll give birth even if it kills her."

You furrowed your eyebrows, trying to make sense of his story. You remember the story, seemingly familiar to you.

No, it can't be.

"You see, my wife is stubborn. I've never been able to change her mind about anything. We were struggling to find a donor, and her condition was getting worse," 001 paused for a bit before continuing. "I borrowed as much money as I could, but it still wasn't enough. I was desperate. Then, one of my oldest vendors heard about my situation and offered to help. So, I borrowed money from them. But people saw it as a bribe, and I got fired from my job."

"His wife passed due to a liver failure, or something like that," Jun-ho said, as you opened your mouth in shock. "She was pregnant, noona. Hyung took on a bribe in exchange for his wife's liver transplant, but by the time he came back, she was already gone."

"Where did he go?" You asked Jun-ho, who averted your gaze, his eyes sternly looking into space.

He took a while to answer, his eyes fixed away from you. You put your hand to your mouth, shocked on what you just knew about In-ho. In-ho, who always put others first before himself, the one who saved and comforted you whenever you scratched your knee as you ran down the street, the one who gave you a paper ring.

You looked through your wallet and grabbed the paper ring inserted along your cards, seeing In-ho's handwriting as you unfolded it. There it wrote, "Always and in all ways."

"Always and in all ways," you muttered under your breath. You sat up abruptly, hearing the bed creak a bit. Your eyes widened, your breath hitching as you slowly piece things together, one-by-one.

"I had devoted my entire youth to it. These games were my last hope. I get it. I know what you were trying to say, Mr. 456. What that money represents. But I... I really need that money, even if it's blood money. I need that money..."

A tear fell to your cheek, your heart beating fast as you slowly look down, seeing the man down there as his lips trembled, breaking down.

"...to save my wife and our child," he looked up, staring at the piggy bank. He pressed his lips together, trying to hold his tears back. Then, he looked down, seeing the tears flow to his cheek.

You sniffed, wiping your tears away. Though it was bittersweet to feel happy knowing that you've found In-ho here. You weren't sure if he remembered you, but you hope that even in the slightest, he would. And you were going to make sure of that.

"In-ho..." you whispered, yet you noticed his face slowly looking up to you, his eyes shocked. You wanted to go down there and hold him in your arms. You wanted to tell him you were back for good, and that you're never leaving again.

He heard you. He wouldn't be looking up to you if he didn't. Yet his stare fixed on you, as if he didn't know what to feel. You couldn't tell what his eyes told you, but one thing's for sure, he was surprised. You only gave him a smile and a little wave. You laid back down, turning on the other side as you feel the sleep catching on to you, finally closing your eyes.

Although you couldn't help but see some loopholes in his story. His wife already passed, why was he talking to her in present tense? Something seemed to be going on, as if he had to keep a certain facade. You thought of all the possibilities, but you were too blinded with the happiness that you remembered In-ho, excited for the next day to come.

----

A/N: And sooo, here it is! I'm trying to update as fast as I can so you guys wouldn't wait for too long. I understand the feeling of having to wait a few days before the next chapter comes haha. I'm also thinking of creating a playlist for this series since I listen to music as I write, some of them are based on some songs 😄 Let me know if you want me to create a playlist for this series and I'll have it ready in the next few days. 😅 Feel free to leave out your thoughts here, and I'll gladly interact with each and everyone of you. 🫶

Don't forget to leave a comment in this post to be tagged on the next chapter! ✨

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TAGS: @machipyun @love-leez @enzosluvr @amber-content @kandierteveilchen @butterfly-lover @1nterstellarcha0s @squidgame-lover001  (p.s. if i forget to tag you, please let me know)

[tribalauthor]

THE WISEWOMAN (roman reigns ff) <chapter 9>

word count: 3K

Sophia's POV:

I am in the makeup room with the female roster getting ready for the show. My outfit for today is a dark blue blazer dress and thigh high white boots with thin heels.

(not mine)

I am also wearing a necklace with a saphire on it and the same earrings. My grandma gave them to me when I graduated.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My smooth skin is ready for some makeup and I intend to do it myself this time since I don't wanna burden the makeup artist who has another looks to do.

I am trying so hard to get Roman out of my head after everything that happened last night but I just can't.

*flashback*

The car that Roman rented just left us in the big evergreen playfield. Although it's around 9pm, the lights are still working and you could see the empty seats.

"So this is the home stadium of Georgia Tech. It's called Bobby Dodd Stadium and it was built by students back in 1913. The oldest on-campus stadium in history." he explained to me and for a moment I thought I am on tour and he is the tour guide. His voice is so deep and smooth, this man can talk about anything and it will sound mesmerising.

"Woah." I exclaimed. "By students? That's impressive." I stated.

"Indeed." I felt him coming closer to me as we were walking. "By the way our team beat a lot of people here back in the day." I took a glance at him and he had that glow in his brown eyes filled with good memories.

"Really?" I asked with scepticism.

"Yes. Are you doubting your Tribal Chief?" he suddenly became a little annoyed and I tried not to laugh.

"No. How could I?" I replied dramatically.

"I'm a born winner, Sophia and I'm gonna die a winner." he declared with cold confidence.

"That could be used in a promo, too" my eyes widened.

"I honestly love your flair." Roman grinned.

"You do? People tend to find it annoying that I always have to involve work in everything." I spoke frankly.

"Nah, it's not annoying. I also tend to think about work a lot. When me and your uncle are together, we always scheme our next move. What should we do, what should we say to stand out from the rest. You are just exactly like him." Roman remarked and I looked down with a smile.

"Thank you for understanding my nature." I spoke softly and looked at him and he gave me that look signifying that it's not a big deal.

"I would like to thank you for spending time with an uncle like me." Roman put his hand on his chest and I started laughing loudly, not very demure.

"Stop." I slightly hit his arm. "I have only one uncle and his name is Paul Heyman." I said with the wisewoman tone.

"But I'm an uncle too. I have a lot of nephews."

"You are from those hot single uncles." I teased him and I swear he definitely blushed.

"Hot?" he asked again and giggled. "You think I'm hot?"

I looked at him with dead eyes.

"Don't act like the guy that used to play here doesn't know."

He sighed. "Back then...when was it? Twenty years ago. I was thinking differently. I was a completely different person." he looked down.

"Me too. I was almost seven years old." I replied and he looked at me with horror.

"Oh my God." Roman put his hand on his forehead and he suddenly changed his expression. "Almost seven you say? So you are almost 27 now?

"Don't remind me." I playfully scolded him.

"No. That means your birthday is soon. When is it?" Roman seemed very interested to know when my birthday is and he is not going to believe what I'm about to tell him.

"February 14th." I responded and his mouth dropped slightly.

"On Valentine's Day?!" he exclaimed and put his fist in front of his mouth.

"Yup. When is yours?" I kinda know his zodiac sign but I don't know the date.

"May 25th."

"Oh so you are a Gemini. That explains a lot." I concluded and he suddenly seemed confused.

"Why? What does it explain?"

"Geminis are usually clever and sharp minded. And two-faced."

"I'm not two faced." he sounded offended and I laughed but when I looked again he genuinely seemed pissed off and maybe he was ready to chase me, so I started running with my high heels on.

Knowing that I have zero chance with these shoes while a literal athlehe is chasing me, he caught me in less than a minute.

He caught me from behind wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me right to his body and then turned me around with his arms being in the same position.

"Why am I two-faced?" he asked me again with almost very normal breath cause that was basically nothing for him while I was trying to catch mine for a bit but it's also because I am very close to him right now and I can feel the tension rising.

"Because you tend to have several personalities. I noticed you can switch up very fast from one mood to another." I finally explained to him while we were staring at each other.

"That's just how I am." he responded calmly.

"See? Two seconds ago you wanted to kill me and now you are calm again." I giggled and rested my arms on his shoulders.

"I wanna do a lot of things to you and kill you is nowhere near the list, Soph." he said quietly and it got me wondering.

"Well, what's on the list then?" I pouted my lips while looking directly at him and he leaned to kiss my forehead in the softest way possible but his thick beard tickled my skin.

Oh my God.

Clearly, I didn't expect that. It's cold outside but I swear to God, I could feel my cheeks burning and becoming red as a tomato.

I looked down out of shyness not knowing what to say which as we know is a very rare state for me.

I felt him putting my hands away from his shoulders and grabbing them in his instead. I looked back at him.

My hands disappear from sight compared to his. He probably felt how cold they are, so he brought them to his face and kissed them as well.

"Damn, you are cold." he stated and I felt like I will explode any second right here and right now.

He is really driving me crazy right now and my question is does he plan to kiss me on the mouth or he is just playing with me.

Roman started rubbing them and I felt warmer but it could be due to the high pressure in my whole body.

"Yeah, ever since I remember myself during winter I have a poor blood flow and even if I'm inside, my hands and feet are always cold." I finally spoke.

"I'm gonna make sure I buy you warm socks and gloves then, okay?" Roman pressed his lips while I could see a slight concern in his eyes.

I laughed softly.

"Okay." I responded and then we stood there staring holes through each other, examining each other's faces.

He really has that masculine mature look and it does something to me for sure. Who would've thought? I've seen this man a lot on TV with my uncle yet I never felt anything but yeah, this is basically me. I don't see it immediately but when I do, there is no turning back.

In no way I would have imagined myself with a man like him. Slowly but surely, I am starting to. The way he is looking at me is nothing I can compare with since no one has ever looked at me like that.

All my life I have received many different looks from men and I could read through their eyes that they want nothing but sex from me.

The look in Roman's eyes right now is really far from that. I can see deep care and even a slight nervousness.

"Your lips are very beautiful, by the way." he remarked, seperating me from my profound thought process I was just having.

"Thank you." I replied quietly. My hands were still buried in his. "Yours are probably beautiful too, but can't really see them from that beard." I chuckled.

"What do you mean?" he got a bit offended and pouted his lips like a little duck. Yes, they are very pretty, I got the point.

I lifted my toes up and pecked the pouty lips of the Undisputed Champion.

He seemed completely shocked from my action. His eyeballs are probably gonna jump out any second and I just smirked and bit my lower lip.

My turn to leave him speechless.

"Is this on the list?" I asked and he completely changed his expression. From surprised it became thorough.

"Yeah. It is." he responded quietly. "But now I want more." he attacked my lips, locking them in with his, slowly devouring them until I slightly opened my mouth and he slid his tongue in it. I felt like I'm levitating for a second until I got back to my senses and kissed him back with my tongue battling his.

Okay, he is a good kisser. No surprise there. His lips definitely feel good and that tingling feeling from his beard is even enhancing the whole experience.

After a while we broke the kiss and stared at each other, knowing we both want more.

Roman had stains of my red lipstick on his mouth and moustache.

"Red lips look good on you." I stated and then I realized my lips must be smudged too but that didn't stop me from licking them and feeling the sweet aftertaste from Roman's kiss.

I finally seperated my hands from his. During this whole time they've been sitting like that and I rubbed the lip stains out of his mouth.

His lips are indeed very soft to the touch and I'm lowkey jealous, not gonna lie. Does he even put a lip balm on?

Then he gave me that lustful look since I know he is definitely going wild on the inside and he wants to kiss me again but something is restraining him.

"You just shared a kiss with the football boy. Your high school self wouldn't be very proud." Roman said with realization.

I gave him the dead look.

"That was for all the football team you once rejected." he added and I rolled my eyes, laughing at him.

"Shut up and kiss me again." I said and he didn't wait for second invitation for tasting my lips.

*end of flashback*

This was so magical. I honestly have no idea what happened to me. He just makes me feel comfortable while giving me heart attacks from time to time.

"Sophiaaa." the voices of Tiffany and Samantha trying to get me back on Earth startled me.

"What's up with you?" Sam asked.

"I'm just a bit tired from the ride." I fake yawned. "Couldn't really sleep last night."

"Is this cause the Tribal Chief didn't let you sleep?" Tiff teased me and I looked at her with playfully mad expression.

"No. I slept alone. As I always do." I lied. I know they are my colleagues and that we became friends but I don't want anyone to know what's going on between us.

1) Because everything is still very fresh 2) I don't want me or Roman to be perceived in the wrong way since I have no idea how would people react to all of this.

Roman's POV:

I am sitting in the room with my cousins and I just told them about what happened last night with Sophia.

"I swear to God, I feel like a young boy again." I giggled and saw Jimmy and Solo exchanging weird looks between each other.

"Yeah. That's the effect of being with a younger woman." Jon crossed his arms.

"There is a reason you brought her to your college field. You wanted to feel the spirit of your younger self, so you can get brave enough and kiss her since you know deep in you that all of this is wrong." Yoko just psycho analyzed me and I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

They just had to rain on my parade, huh? Why do they do it? It's like I'm doing a crime or something.

"Sophia is a grown woman. If she didn't want me, I would know." I responded.

*flashback*

We started getting ready for bed. While Soph was dressing up with her pajamas in the bathroom, I put mine which is grey Nike sweatpants, no shirt. Just abs.

Suddenly I heard the bathroom door opened and Sophia came in front of me wearing a baby pink silk nightdress that wasn't very long. It was exposing her beautiful long lean legs and cupping her round perfect sized breast. Looking all natural and everything.

Maybe it was a mistake to put on gray sweatpants because I swear to God, I feel like I will get a boner.

"Let's brush our teeth together. We have two sinks." she suggested innocently flashing her beautiful grin at me and I just followed her to the bathroom.

Joseph, you can do this. You are a strong man not only physically but mentally.

As a man, I think I've mastered ignoring my intrusive thoughts but right now they are yelling at me.

Is Sophia wearing any lingerie beneath this? If not, it would take just a slight pull and-

"Why are you standing there?" she snapped me out of my thoughts as she put a toothpaste on her toothbrush.

I sighed and got to the sink.

"You are just so incredibly beautiful." I said the truth.

"Thank you." she replied sweetly and then started brushing her teeth.

I did the same thing but when I glanced at my left to look at her I saw that her breasts were slightly bouncing and then she spat the toothpaste in the sink, leaving a little on her lips.

I am actually no better than boys her age, just realized this. I have to prove that I am though.

I'm gonna try my best to keep my composure and keep the intrusive thoughts away. I turned to my previous position and tried not to think about how I want to haunt her on that very bathroom sink or in the shower cabin.

A loud thud shook me off my own sinful thoughts. Soph just dropped her toothpaste and was about to bend down to grab it but if she does that, I will see her lingerie and I'm afraid I will get an erection and it's gonna get insanely awkward.

"No." I growled in concern and swiftly bent over to grab it. "Here you are" I grinned at her and she seemed very confused.

"Thank you." she replied. "I was way closer to it, I could have done it alone, though."

"It's a psychological fact that if you don't help the person next to you lift something they dropped, means you don't care. I just wanted to show you that I care about you." I said a generally accepted truth.

She still seemed slightly confused.

"Well, you are showing me with another actions but thank you." she just said.

...

We were ready to go to sleep but honestly I have zero idea how I'm gonna do that knowing that the most beautiful and hot woman is in the same room with me.

Maybe this wasn't a very good idea. I am literally testing my limits. Is it possible that she is doing all of this on purpose to test my intentions or she just really wears sexy nightgowns to sleep?

Suddenly I am jealous of her boyfriends. I don't care what they are, who they are, they clearly didn't deserve a woman like Sophia. I don't know what they must have done in their previous lives.

But let's focus on the present. Now she is in a hotel room with me, she kissed me and she thinks I am hot.

"Will I get a good night kiss?" Sophia asked innocently.

I would give her a goodnight di-

"Of course." I replied and went to her bed. Then I leaned to her and placed a small peck on her soft lips.

"Just that?" she looked a bit disappointed. Yup, that woman is putting me to the test.

"Look, little lady. If we go deeper, I will go deeper, you know what I'm saying? Let's keep it PG." I playfully threatened her.

"Oh, I love men with self control." she purred and bit her lips.

Fuck it.

I leaned in to kiss her again but this time it was more aggressive and I got slightly over her making sure I am not hurting her with my weight and she softly placed her hands on my naked chest.

Now we got our minty breaths mixed up and it's amazing. It's also amazing how her tongue syncs with mine.

I broke the kiss and then she looked at me with fiery eyes like she accomplished something.

Earlier I described her as an angel but Sophia may be a devil in disguise.

*end of flashback*

"You are mine now, hope you know that." I said quietly almost whispering and went to bed.

"Look at him all smiling and shit." I heard my cousins gossiping about me...in front of me.

"Don't forget you have to be mad for later, uce." Jimmy reminded me.

"Yeah no shit." I responded with sarcasm. "You two are definitely helping me with that, though" I stated and put the classic grumpy Tribal Chief face again.

[wxlfbites]

December 9, 2024

Nonhuman Nuance on Gender...

I have never been a consumable presence in this world. Everything about me has always been this labyrinthine ocean that refuses to be domesticated. There are parts of my identity that I've been able to recognize with familiarity from childhood that some people don't even notice until adulthood. Gender, the expression of one's own, and the standards of humanity as a species are things I've thought about since I was as young as three or four years old because nothing about my assigned sex or species has ever felt reflective of who and what I really am. The expectation of behavior for both humans and girls are much different than those for wolves and boys, and I realized very early on that people were expecting things of me that were, in my mind, simply unnatural and foreign.

When I got older and started really thinking about the implications of these feelings, being both transgender and a Were. And I didn't initially connect the two together the way I do now. It took a bit of time to realize that my gender is intrinsically linked to my nonhumanity. Sure, there are times I feel like a human man, but I'm also never a "normal" human man... both my nonhumanity and neurodivergence making certain of that. There is a disconnect between me and other human men that I can not explain away with being transgender.. It is more than that.

Wolves do not display obvious sexual dimorphism, if you went to the zoo and saw the wolves, you would not be able to distinguish the males from the females with a quick glance. Their social behaviors are also not typically structured by gender, male wolves can be just as nurturing and submissive as females. In these ways, among others, I relate my gender more to wolves than humans. No matter how close to human I feel, there are always these subtle nonhuman nuances to everything about me. My body language, my fashion sense, my interests, the way I interact verbally.. even the way I process information. It's all wolven. I talk about this a little in another post, but I've realized that this connects to my gender as well.

Put simply, while transmasculine is my primary label, one that I love and wholeheartedly connect to in every way, there is an undertone to it that is canine; and I would like to express that more openly. I know the term xenogender exists, and I feel that I technically do fit it, it's just hard for me to connect to microlabels in any meaningful way. What xenogender experiences do you all have?

[tomorrowsgardennc]

market update // national seed swap day 2025

geeeeez i have so many notifications here, i guess i really haven't been on here in a hot minute. it has been nuts prepping for my first *major* seed swap, and it legit was a major one. but now that it has been a week, i think i'm finally starting to catch up with things. but i want to share with y'all before i forget all my mental notes and stories!!

i personally took so very few photos, because after 5 minutes in i was SWAMPED!! there was a line the entire 2 hours of the swap, and at the end of the market we had to tape off the seed swap portion in order to pack up! i was genuinely only expecting a steady stream of curious people, but it was shoulder to shoulder people, courtiosuly helping one another find varieties of this or that and everyone talking and asking questions!

now for setup... i had myself, my farmer mama (sooo happy she was able to make it!!), a local community garden captain who i asked to volunteer so he could promote his community and network a bit himself, another fellow plant vendor at the market, and one other volunteer who knew nothing about gardening but LOVES to organized. and y'all... i could not have asked for a better team to help me. farmer mama helped me keep my panic attacks away from so many people in one place... the community garden captain helped put a smile on everyone's face and giving the regulars new info, the fellow vendor was acting like she was a salesman and got so many seeds flying off the tables by answering sooooo many questions, and the last volunteer kept all the tables nice and tidy throughout the swap and refilled when space opened up. it was truly amazing.

we had a total of 25 feet of table space, and every table was jam packed with seeds. i brought approx. 1,375 seed packets (+/- a few dozen between added donos the morning of and me shipping some out the week before). but the thing is... the tables never got empty because of the amount we also had donated back! we had books and nursery containers too. i left with more books than what i arrived with, and all the nursery containers were gone by end of the swap. which is good because i don't need any more of those 😅

i think, with the seeds donated day of, that there were more seeds saved personally than open seed packets than i expected. now, sadly, i'm going to have to get the word out that labeling seeds as "pumpkin" is... well... not all too helpful for anyone. but i have 350ish days to get that word out before the next seed swap. and i plan to! just... need to wind down from this event first, mentally.

ok so, i know that part of my autism is me legit not being able to grasp certain concepts of emotions... even with hubs best efforts i still can't understand empathy. but i also... ok sorry this is hard to explain so it'll be written poorly... but a ton of people kept congratulating me??? saying what i did was a "true accomplishment" and i "knocked this out of the part" and "you succeeded!!" but... this wasn't about me???? i didn't do this for me. i did this for everyone who needs food. for those who have been too scared to try and start seeds before. who have tried before but trying again was too high of an investment. i didn't do this for my benefit, nor for marketing, or anything. the community garden captain gained more social media followers than me, and that's EXACTLY what i wanted!! one woman, dressed as though she was just barely getting by, legitimately broke out into tears when she picked up one envelope, dug through her purse and asked how much and i said "everything on these tables are free!" she said thank you a few times before she couldn't hold it in and grabbed a few more packets and left. congratulate HER on having the means go grow when it obviously means so much to her! congratulate ao many others who now won't have to worry about how they're going to afford a garden this year when bills are so tight! i don't know... maybe i'm missing something. just... i don't need a pat on the back for helping people. this should be the norm, bar minimum, not an accomplishment.

...

anyway... notes for next year:

- have a better donation system. turns out a lot of people were putting the seeds on the table that they brought, and nobody realized it, so i couldn't properly thank those people when they did.

- make sure to get more companies to donate. i had 7 companies donate, but renee's garden donated over 600 seed packets alone while every other company was, like, 50 maximum. we are going to need quite a lot more next year...

- still debating on switching my company to non-profit or not. i've talked to an "official non-profit consultant" at the local community college but she didn't really answer my questions about my type of business. i'm definitely not doing any of this for money, but i need more funding if i want to make seed swaps not only bigger but in more locations, both in person and online. and i have soooo many ideas on how to do so. i just need to figure out the best way to do so, legally. i'm just scared of messing some sort of legal paperwork or taxes up when i switch to non-profit.

- try and get the same volunteer team. i could not have done it without them.

- grow. grow grow grow and grow.

that last note is for you, too.

just grow 🌱

[blackcatxmagic]

Nodding, Winter agreed, "Yeah, especially me. I mean...I always have honey here. It's sort of my thing. But I need different ways to enjoy it or else I'll...well, stop enjoying it, you know? And I don't want that because..." Winter trailed off; he knew what he was about to say, but he also knew it might sound stupid. Still, he said it anyway, telling Stoker, "It's so much a part of who I am, beekeeping and selling my honey and all of that, and I kind of don't know who I would be without it." There was one thing though that Winter didn't say out loud: that his bees brought him so much comfort because sometimes it felt like they were the only ones to truly understand him. Their bond was unexplainable and deep, and Winter truly loved them. But he thought that might be too much for Stoker. It seemed like the other understood Winter's point though, and that made him smile. Yes, he was glad the two of them had met.

Upon giving the honey to his new friend, Winter saw his reaction, which made him smile even more in turn. It always felt good to him to make other people happy, and he already knew he'd be giving Stoker another free jar of honey at some point. "It's no big deal," he said, still grinning at them. "I mean...I've got more honey than I can manage sometimes." Right now he didn't have quite as much because it was winter, but he still had more than enough to sell at the markets for the next couple of months. And besides, that wasn't Winter's livelihood anyway - he'd only ever done this because he loved it, not as a job. "I wanted to do something nice for you," he said softly. "I just...I always appreciate when people like me." Winter felt himself getting a little vulnerable now, and he blushed slightly, but still he continued. "Sometimes people think I'm weird or are put-off by the fact that my memory is so terrible," Winter explained further, "so I just...I'm glad you're not one of those people." His cheeks were just a little redder now, but Winter didn't feel embarrassed; he felt like Stoker would understand.

And that was why Winter found himself talking further about the memory issues - he could tell that Stoker wouldn't judge him or make an excuse to leave or something (at least he hoped not). "It's...it's been hard," Winter explained. "I don't even remember how to drive. You know that car in the driveway? That's mine, but it's pretty useless to me. And...and it's not just like a couple of notes." He walked over to a drawer nearby and pulled it open, taking out a stack of notes and holding them up to show Stoker. "See what I mean?" He didn't want to dwell on it too much, but it just felt nice being able to open up about this. There were some things Winter didn't say though, like how he was afraid to even try learning how to drive again because he was worried he wouldn't be able to retain anything he learned. This felt too personal to reveal though, at least for right now. Stoker had nothing but positive and encouraging things to say, and their support made Winter smile, feeling a little less self-conscious. "I'm getting by," he replied, "I am. It's just...it's hard sometimes, and it's embarrassing too." His cheeks were just a little red now, but mostly Winter felt safe and comfortable with his new friend, and he appreciated that greatly.

After the pair had made their tea, Winter sat at the counter with Stoker, taking a sip. "Another way I like honey is on toast," he told Stoker. "Just like drizzled on. If you haven't tried it, well..." He trailed off, nodding toward the jar of honey he'd given the other, a smile on his face. For a couple more minutes, they sat there enjoying their tea, and Winter asked, "So what do you like to do in your free time, Stoker? I guess we still don't know a ton about each other, do we?" Winter felt like Stoker could end up being a good friend, but he wanted to know them more. He removed a small notebook from his pocket as well as a pen, blushing slightly once more. "Is it okay if I take notes?" Winter asked the other.

Stoker laughed. "I am a tea person, yeah. I'm a bit of an avid drinker in general, so I'm a big fan of a lot of drinks, but tea has always been up there with my favourites," they explained, giving a completely unnecessary long winded answer, not unlike Stoker. "I think that's a perfectly acceptable reason to be a tea drinker," Stoker shrugged. "I mean, if you stuck to straight honey all the time I feel like you'd be more likely to get sick of it by now," which definitely wouldn't be a very good thing for someone who was so involved with the making of honey.

"For me?" Stoker confirmed, the smile already on his face growing larger. While he knew that Winter was kind and generous, he didn't expect a whole bottle from his best batch of the year, and that oddly touched Stoker. "Thank you very much, Winter. I'll treat it like liquid gold," he chuckled. He already knew that Silas would be benefitting from the gift too, which made Stoker feel hopeful that he could pay Winter back by sending Silas and his thick wallet his way with some business.

The switch up in conversation to the topic of Winter's accident was one that surprised Stoker so very much, but it wasn't unwelcome. If anything, Stoker valued honesty, particularly when it was honesty regarding something so vulnerable. "You haven't told me this before," Stoker reassured him. "I think the notes are a great way of managing that, that's a really smart use of resources," Stoker's words were completely honest, and his tone was relatively stable; he didn't want to come across like he was pitying Winter in a way that would make him feel less than other's without issues similar. "I know my words are just, well, words, but you don't need to hide them from me." Stoker didn't know how deep Winter's embarrassment went, but he truly did want his friend to know that there was no reason to be ashamed.

"Thank you," Stoker was more than happy to busy himself by putting honey into his tea and moving on to a conversation about it instead. While he meant what he said when speaking of Winter's accident, seeing the way that the other reacted to having left a note out, Stoker didn't want to force him to ruminate on the subject. "This smells amazing with the honey in it," he commented, smile as bright as his sparkling, friendly eyes.

[docholligay]

I don't often share my morning long reads but this is both information worth reading and is funny as hell

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some fantasy traveler inventory details (like what they would carry in their bags), based on two of the recent costumes I did.. love finding random little scraps and items and putting them together lol

[klutzytomb]

I never thought I'd say this, but there's no way I'm one of the only ones here that isn't chronically online. Right? Right??

[byfulcrums]

i've been thinking about lesbian scott summers because the other day i made a jeanscott drawing where scott was a girl and like. how would it affect her, as a character, and how would it affect her relationship with other people (namely jean)?

scott's already canonically 'nervous' when it comes to his attraction to women. he's always like, "is this safe? it's not, it's not safe" until actively proven otherwise and EVEN THEN he's still like that (whyyy), and sure it might be because of his deadly eyes but add the lesbian into it. this shit takes place in the 60s, 70s, add the lesbian into it

[masterfuldoodler]

girlbossed too hard.... unless...

[laurellala-comics]

there are two wolves inside of you. One of them is fretting that you went through all the effort of making a new art account just to pigeonhole yourself once more into a specific fandom, which holds you back from exploring original art concepts that you care about. The other one came up with three separate ace attorney comic ideas in the last hour alone and isn't stopping anytime soon

[m0e-ru]

lets think of everyone who had persona blogs and obliterated them off the face of the earth instead of just archiving and keep them in our thoughts tonight. everyone else who directly caused them into doing that go and fucking behave

[m00nj3w3l]

Every so often I forget that like, PMMM isn't a super well known anime outside of online spaces and people who were already into the magical girl genre, so almost everytime someone irl asks me what my favorite anime is and I reply with Madoka I get told "what? I've never heard of it." And I die a bit inside