#it's gonna be one of these plot points that exists because the book needed them to exist and everything else took shape around it Tumblr posts

[liesmyth]

did john decide which of his friends would be the necromancer and which would be the cavs when he brought them back from the dead, or was that random?

I wish we knew for sure! John's friends ending up 50/50 adepts vs. non-necromancers is obviously one of TM's premises and was done for doylistic reasons first and foremost, but I don't think we have enough elements to conclusively interpret it as intentional in-universe.

Putting aside any kind of authorial intentions, this is what we know:

» The rate of necromancers as part of the population hovers around 30%. John's core group being 50% adepts is way off from that, and could point to manipulation, but also we're working with a very small sample size. Think about how it's very possible to get head five times in a row when flipping coins; probabilities are much less accurate on a smaller scale. I don't believe it's out of the realm of possibilities that a group of 10 people had exactly 5 necromancers in it.

» Harrow's birth. The Reverend Parents made sure she would be a necromancer by manipulating the embryo with thanergy. It's clearly not a known practice among the Houses at large, and John calls it "a sort of Resurrection" — implying that he could be able to do the same with thalergy. However, this doesn't confirm that he actually DID.

In the same conversation, John says, "This was all different before we discovered the scientific principles," which I think is also worth noting. The fact that he understands NOW how you could get an embryo to grow into a necromancer doesn't mean that he had that knowledge at the time of the Resurrection. It also doesn't mean that the same identical process would apply to making formerly-dead-people into necromancers as they got brought back to life.

It could very well be that necromancy was a generalised side-effect of the Resurrection that affected some people more than others; or it could be that John DID do something different when bringing back some people that conferred them necromantic aptitude. Even if it's the latter, I don't think we can take for granted that 1) it was intentional and 2) he fully knew what the side effects would be.

» Ulysses and Titania. Counterpoint! It's also worth noting that John's "test cases" turned out to be one (1) adept and one (1) non-adept. Like I said above, this could still be a random bi-product of the Resurrection... but given Ulysses and Titania's whole everything, their dichotomy reeks of control group. They are a big point in favour of the "John did it on purpose" column.

Still: I still don't think we can tell for sure that John knew from the moment of Resurrection that he was giving some people death powers, and how that'd turn out in the long run. Like I said above, he could have done something different when resurrecting Ulysses vs. Titania, but it doesn't mean that he knew what would happen.

(Obviously, this argument only makes sense if we assume that Ulysses and Titania were among the very first batch of resurrected. I personally think they were, but obviously it's not confirmed)

» The inner circle. From NtN

I could only trust the inner circle. My scientists, my engineer, my detective, my lawyer, my artist, my nun, my hedge fund manager. My diehards. The ones keeping the lights on.

Putting aside the fact that Lyctors exist the way they are because Tamsyn needed them to exist, and looking at the Canaan House necro/cav pairings from John's point of view: why not give ALL his friends magical powers? That's something I struggle to wrap my head around, for about half a dozen different reasons.

Mind, I don't think John picking and choosing who gets to be a necromancer is that far-fetched, but from a #character point I find it less likely than the alternative (he didn't do it on purpose but turned it to his own advantage). IF it turns out to be canon, I'd be really curious about what the watsonian reasoning for it, beyond "this needed to happen."

Most meta posts I've seen that take for granted John picked and chose his future necromancers ascribe him a level of foresight, knowledge, and long-term planning that I simply don't think he'd have had at the time (not to mention the mental lucidity). To quote HtN John again, "[he] had never been God" before. I truly think he was winging it at least 60% of the time.

[ride-thedragon]

To say something on the topic, it's one thing to not like the Daemon and Nettles romantic relationship plotline. You have every right. It's another thing, however, to reduce Nettles to that plot line and want to take away her entire narrative arc and give it to someone else or remove it (that doesn't make sense).

Daemon is not her father. You know why?

Because Nettles is most likely not Valyrian and Daemon was in the Stepstones at that time.

Daemon is also not her father because she's an adult who's lived alone her entire life. She doesn't need one.

Nettles isn't Rhaena, Baela or a COTF. You know why?

Because she simply isn't. There is not one inclination in the books that she is and in the show the only reason it's popular in the fandom is because you think black character are interchangeable and don't value their stories as individuals. Rhaena is already set up as the dragon rider she is in the books. Baela is already fighting. The five white children of Rhaenyra are never interchanged, but these three girls (one with no relation) are?

That doesn't make sense.

Daemon and Nettles were most likely romantic or sexual. You know why?

Because Daemon has a repeated pattern of behaviour. Something he repeats with Rhaenyra, Mysaria, and Nettles (even Laena to an extent)

Because Daemon is a weird man, and it's Westeros where weird men thrive. One of the arguments with her is literally that she isn't as young as the girls he slept with before. His morality isn't up for question.

Daemon would because she's a young dragonrider.

Nettles isn't going to be written out. You know why?

She's important to the narrative. One of George's favourite characters that he parallels with Daenerys, lives on past Daemon and exists before him, is one of the most anticipated adaptations and is the question in the narrative of Targaryens and their control over dragons.

I'm not going to argue on these points or even push them anymore. At this point, if it hasn't stuck, you're writing fanon and want it to be canon. I'm not gonna deter you all. Just leave her alone and write fan fiction. Or at least pretend to care about her outside of him.

[j0kers-light]

His Lighthouse: Good Intentions (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Good Intentions

series summary:

Y/n is an aspiring writer living in Gotham City and struggling to find her next muse. Her recent novel is getting all the buzz, earning her far more attention than she signed up for. But when a chance encounter results in her nursing The Joker back to health, will she find the time to write another best seller or will her own story become front page of the Gotham Gazette?

chapter summary:

Yall know the drill by now. Chaos will update this part later 👀

author's note:

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATIENCE! Holy bananas! This chapter is four five months in the making! I know it'll take you just a few minutes to read it but keep that in mind loves! Chaos slaved over this chapter because life gave me a wedgie at every flippin turn! Joker was getting on my nerves not cooperating with the dialogue then I had a HUGE plot hole that needed to be filled and I bet everyone is wondering-

When will Joker give Y/n a night she'll never forget? Not in this chapter I'm afraid! I tried to add it in but it didn't flow well so stay tuned loves! Things are gonna be happening very quickly very soon. I'm so excited!

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

Last Chapter | Next Chapter

The dawn was bright and a touch cruel for waking you up in such a manner. Its persistent glare left you no chance of falling back asleep. You blinked back the last dregs of your slumber and finally became aware of your surroundings. 

The first thing you noticed was Joker lying beside you, gazing at you fondly. Anything else besides him simply ceased to exist.  

Joker was devoid of any greasepaint, allowing you full access to his handsome face, scars and all. How dare he hide this from you? Joker didn’t think himself attractive, but the dusting of freckles along his nose amplified his beauty in your opinion. You began the tedious task of counting them one by one as he spoke.  

“My Bunny is finally awake.” He cupped your cheek, his touch warm and familiar— and bestowed you a kiss before reeling back and bopping you on the nose. You jumped slightly at the random action. You would never understand Joker’s fascination with your nose.  

You swatted him away to sit up further in bed. The surface itself gave you pause.  

The last thing you remembered was lying in the back of the SUV with Joker on the side of some Blüdhaven road. Not the best locale for sex but Joker made it memorable. “Where are we?” You asked.  

Joker snorted, “Why don’t ya look for yourself?” His eyes were like a hawk watching you glance around the room. 

Floor to ceiling windows overlooking the bustling streets of Gotham took up one wall. Back inside, two chairs and a couch in shades of sage and grey, sat before an electric fireplace, and a framed piece of fanart from your book series hung above it. The bathroom door was cracked open, and you could barely see the clawfoot feet of your tub peeking out from around the corner.  

You were in your guest bedroom. You were home. 

Not that you weren’t grateful, but you were still at a loss on the technicalities.  

“How did we get here?” You moved the covers back and noticed you were naked. “And where are my clothes?!” You shouted. 

Joker laughed at you scrambling to cover yourself.  

He didn’t see the point since he already had the pleasure of worshipping your body thoroughly. He had your body memorized and could navigate to the tiniest of scars with his eyes closed. Joker secretly enjoyed his Bunny acting all shy so he didn’t pull the sheet away from you.  

“Uhhh clothes? There ah.. somewhere. You didn’t need them.” Joker scoffed.  

You wished that Joker was cracking a joke. Granted that Blüdhaven wasn’t that far from Gotham City, you were still worried about optics. Cindy would kill you if any nsfw photos were leaked to the media.  

As if you needed more attention after your tabloid cover story with J was still circulating. You wanted to lay the secret lover rumors to rest not add more fuel to the fire.  

The morning sun flooded the room with its warm light and it illuminated your e/c eyes, effectively blinding your vision. “Joker please tell me you didn’t drive us back to Gotham with me naked in the passenger seat. What if someone saw?” 

You quirked an eyebrow at your distracted lover. J was looking at you, his mind however, was miles away in Metropolis.  

He was drawn in by your gorgeous eyes alit by the sun. Every day he questioned how he became so lucky to have your love. Someone so beautiful, so kind as you giving him the light of day? He was rendered speechless every time.  

“J?” you shielded your eyes from the sunlight, thus snapping him out of his daze. “Are you listening?” You asked. 

Joker blinked out of his fog to answer.  

“Ahem. I uh I’m the only one admiring the view, doll. The windows are tinted. Re-mem-ber?” Joker sang. Hopefully you didn’t catch his genuine stutter.  

You didn’t. “Oh right. Well at least we’re back in Gotham. Haven was irking my nerves.” 

“YuP. Some errr.. trip that was.” Joker noted as his hand hovered over your own. You nodded at his silent request. He began playing with your fingers one after another. You watched him, lost in thought. Neither of you knew how to address the elephant in the room.  

Joker was tracing the lines etched on your palm when he eventually caved in. “Your mom called.” 

“Huh?” 

J picked up the panic laced in your voice, “Calm down Bun. I didn’t talk to her.” 

He launched into the explanation as he mapped out the lines of your hand. “She left a uhh, voicemail. Your dad and uncle were dropped off, safe n sound, along with your cousin— albeit with heh.. bruised egos. See? Perfectly fine! Funny how life workss.” You winced as his long fingernail traced your lifeline.  

Intentional or not, it jogged your memory from last night and made you sigh in relief. “That’s good to hear. I’m glad they’re okay.”  

“You didn’t believe me?”  

You detangled your hand from Joker’s. It’s not that you didn’t believe him— he just made it hard to at the time. You couldn’t ignore what you saw. Joker shot your father and uncle at point blank range.  

You knew the kind of man Joker was. He killed without remorse and did it for fun. If he didn’t physically prove that the bullets were rubber, how were you to trust his word?  

“I.. Yes, I believe you, but please try to see it from my point of view! Y-You scared me last night. I mean, after you shot your own goon in front of me just a few days prior. How am I supposed to know what bullets you used? What if you mixed them up or something. I-I just.”  

You choked on your emotions and began curling in on yourself, if Joker didn’t stop the motion in its tracks. “Oh Bun none of that.” He turned you around to face him.  

You didn’t see him grimace at the fresh tears pooling in the corner of your eyes, but he brushed them away all the same. The gentle care he used made you look up into his troubled green eyes. Since when was Joker the affectionate type? 

“I never want you scared of me, doll. You should’ve never seen that err.. hic-cup at Bicchieri’s. It’s my fault for underestimating that a-nnoooying rat in my organization n' putting—” 

“What rat?” You echoed.  

Joker blinked twice as if he didn’t mean to share that bit of information with you. You saw the wheels turning in his head, desperate to backtrack that statement.  

“Ahh nothing to worry that pretty little head of yours!” He said with a smile but it was too late. His Light was a curious person by nature, and all it took was you stressing his name for him to groan in defeat. “Fiiiiine.”  

Up till now, Joker had done a great job at keeping you in the dark. He kept his lifestyle separate from yours to keep you safe but as of late, someone was making it their personal mission to change that and remove you from the picture. 

Joker remembered how shaken up you were after Two Face shot up your charity gala and then when he later abducted you from your apartment. The former District attorney was tame compared to the more dangerous threat this mole was creating.  

Joker exhausted almost every asset he had to wring out the traitor, all to no avail. Whoever was causing this high security breech was smart and resourceful.  

Joker thought traveling to your hometown would help narrow down his search, but it only led to more questions than answers. Keeping you naïve was no longer possible. He just hoped this latest news didn’t scare you away for good. 

You knew it was serious when Joker used your real name. He instantly had your undivided attention with a single word.  

J sighed, “You remember that manila folder ya found at the beach house?” He knew you remembered when your eyes widened, however your mind drifted to other things.  

“How could I forget?”  

He smiled knowing what you were referring to. The time spent in the Vineyard, (where you earned your namesake) was special to Joker as well. Unfortunately, it was time to hit you with reality.  

“Someone’s been following you, Light.” 

“By the paparazzi? I’m used to that, J.” You laughed, trying to lighten the mood but Joker didn’t join in.  

“No Y/n. Someone with ties to my organization is following you around, makin’ threats, and putting my Light in danger. They tipped Two Face off about your address and they were lurkin’ in the crowd at Euphoria that night you went with your friends.”  

Joker gritted his teeth before resuming, “They tooK photos of you, wayyyy too close for my liking and the message is quite clear. I meanT what I said that day. I don’t want you going anywhere alone for the near future. If I lost you Y/n I...”  

He couldn’t even finish the thought. You were shocked to see Joker get emotional however before you could console him, he snapped right back to normal.  

The drastic change of emotions was disturbing to witness, and Joker noticed how you eyed him warily because of it. “I’m fiiiine, Y/n. Your safety is just so im-port-ant to me, I will literally lose it if you were hurt under my watch.” 

It took one look into Joker’s deranged eyes for you to believe him.  

J’s hands were still shaking as he craned your neck backwards to kiss you. It started out slow and built up to the point of Joker pushing you down on the bed, if not for your phone’s alarm effectively ruining the mood.  

Joker groaned as your hand blindly reached backwards to turn off your phone. J was nice enough to charge it for you when he brought you in from the car and you could see the multiple notifications covering up the screen. You saw dozens of text messages but for now, the most important notif, was your timer going off for therapy.  

You had long since forgotten about it given your stressful trip back home. A part of you didn’t want to go despite it being the right thing to do. You needed help healing from your past to move forward with your future. There was much to discuss if you went, yet you didn’t particularly appreciate Dr. Quinn’s approach to healing. Therapy was a good idea but perhaps the therapist in question was the problem. 

Your thoughts must’ve been visible to your dark clown. Joker read you liken an open book. “Are ya going?”  

“I-I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right about my therapist though it could just be my bias towards doctors.” You huffed. That wasn’t completely true. Sarai was an excellent doctor, and she didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. You pouted while mulling it over.  

J hummed on your shoulder. “Want me to handle it?” His offhand comment made you laugh and finally give him the attention he wanted. You swatted at his head and met his mischievous eyes.  

Wait, he was actually serious. 

“Oh my God Joker you can’t keep ‘handling’ every little inconvenience in my life. Leave the poor woman alone. I’ll just call Mama and ask for another recommendation list while she fills me on the drama that you caused. I have no doubt that phone call will take a huge chunk of my day.”  

You heaved out a sigh before falling backwards onto the bed.  

When you opened your eyes, Joker was hovering over you, biting his lip with a sheepish grin. His hair was a bird’s nest framing his face and the color of it caught your attention. You reached up and curled a strand or two around your finger and tugged. “Hey. I thought you weren’t dying your hair anymore around me.”  

What a way to deflect the conversation. Joker let you change the subject (for now) and followed your light tugs in a playful manner.  

“Not so harrrd Bunny! I had ta look my best for a night on the towns! First impressions are everything ya know. What would your folks think if they saw me all natural?”  

He grinned down at your unamused face.  

“Joker. Do you really think my parents cared what color your hair was when you shot someone in front of us at Vincent’s? Did my dad care when you riddled him with rubber last night?” 

When you worded it that way, perhaps he screwed up on the first impressions. He would do better in the future if he ever got the chance to meet them again— under better circumstances of course.  

But back to your question. “Uhhhh.” Joker stuttered.  

“Don’t answer that. What’re you gonna do for the day?” You raked your nails through Joker’s neon green hair. Despite being freshly dyed, it was in a desperate need of a wash, having the texture of wet seaweed. Still, it was therapeutic for both you and J, so you didn’t stop your hand movement.  

Besides, he was practically purring from your ministrations. Your nails felt too good, and he laid down on your stomach slurring his speech.  

“Mmmmm gotta check up on the idiots and let’s see… cause some mischief.” J whined when you stopped playing with his hair. “Ohhh, don’t give me that look, Sugar. I’ll be back before ya know it. Unless.. gasp do you wanna go with me?” 

You rolled your eyes and resumed scratching his scalp.  

There was no way Joker would let you tag along with him especially after he just confessed you had a deranged stalker running around. Joker would be too busy being a menace to society to look after you properly. Even if you wanted some alone time with Joker, work always came first. But before he left...  

“Do you want me to cook you something before you go?” you asked.  

Joker would never turn down your home cooking and as expected, he fell for the trap. 

His stomach cried out before he could. “I’d looooooove that my Light.” He moved up to peck you on the lips. “Can I have French toast with ahhh... extra.. Sugar?” One kiss turned into two then three until you were at his mercy, desperate for more.  

His kisses trailed further and further down your body until you understood J’s intentions. He rubbed his scarred cheek along your hip bone as he pushed the sheets away from your body. 

So this is what he meant by extra sugar. At this rate, Joker wasn’t letting you out of bed. And who were you to deny yourself this pleasure? Soft mornings with Joker were a dime a dozen so you laid back and let him kiss and touch to his heart’s content. 

Breakfast could wait, Joker wanted dessert first.  

An hour later, you turned the stove off and pushed a hot plate of French toast across the kitchen island towards Joker. His eyes were aglow with mischief as you made a show of sprinkling an obscene amount of powdered sugar atop the dish.  

His comical snort was light as you walked past him, grabbing your phone as you went. “I’ll be in the living room.”  

“Thanks for breakfast, Sugar.” He called after you.  

Which one? you almost fired back.  

Only Joker could make such an innocent comment about breakfast be dirty. You kept your flustered smile to yourself while you dialed your mother’s number.  

You needed a clear head for this upcoming conversation.  

As the line rang, you reminded yourself; Act surprised, you don’t know anything that happened back home. It only took four rings until Mama’s worried voice answered and it took longer to reassure her that you were fine. 

“Mama calm down.. I’m okay. I just wanted to go home and—yes ma’am, I’m back in Gotham City. I um..” your eyes darted over to Joker still seated at the island counter.  

He locked eyes with you as he licked syrup off his fork. Your clit jumped remembering when his tongue did that exact same motion to it a few minutes ago. He was doing it on purpose, his smug grin confirmed it. This madman would be the death of you someday.  

You snapped out of your thoughts by your mother calling your name repeatedly.  

“Y-Yes ma’am, I’m still here. I took the subway back. Yes, I know it's not safe that time of night, but Uncle D didn’t quite understand the part where I said I can leave whenever I want. So I did. Mama, will you stop defending him?!” You paused to give her time to fill you in on the events you were already privy to.  

It was time for you to perform.  

“DAD WAS SHOT?!” You screamed. Joker gave you a thumbs up on your ‘totally believable reaction’ and you almost flipped him off as a result. It would be nice if J sat there and ate his food instead of distracting you.  

“Mama, slow down and start from the beginning! They did what now? Are they stupid or is they dumb? They went to meet with who?”  

Joker had long since finished eating his breakfast, but he stuck around to watch you pace the living room while on the phone. You were a great actress, adding in your (fake) reactions and sprinkling the awkward silence with gasps and exaggerated comments to make it sound genuine.  

He couldn’t help but to eavesdrop on your current topic.  

“I’m glad Uncle and Dad got Jr. back from T-The Joker. Yes! I was just as terrified as you were! I mean— The Joker was talking to me. What was I supposed to do? I um.. n-never met him before—just heard about him on the tv and stuff. Yeah, he’s absolutely insane..” You trailed off.  

Your heart was beating wildly as you fiddled with a stem of a potted houseplant. They needed to be watered soon. It was simply a distraction to keep yourself from turning around and seeing Joker’s reaction.  

Hopefully, he understood that you were saying all this to avoid any suspicion from your mother. You hated lying to her and wished she changed the subject but for someone who hated the guy, she could not stop talking about Joker. She mentioned the events that occurred at Vincent’s restaurant again and you mentally groaned the longer she dragged on.  

“Y-Yeah I know. Super scary. I know! I can’t get his laugh out my head either and his eyes..” Hopefully you sounded terrified and not enamored. It was already bad enough that you stuttered saying The before Joker in an effort to make him sound more formal to you.  

You froze when Mom said something bizarre. “They are kinda hot huh?” 

Clearly you heard that wrong since it was the last thing you expected Mom to say, regardless of the reputation the females in your family had with bad boys. It was so far left field, that it caught you off guard.  

You couldn’t blame her though. Joker’s eyes were otherworldly, and he knew that you were obsessed with them. It was just another deadly weapon that he could charm you with.  

You couldn’t help yourself from replying truthfully. “I mean, yeah. They’re so freaking hot. I could stare at them all day.. wait! We shouldn’t be lusting after a known psychopath Ma!” 

Mom’s carefree laugh set your mind at ease. “What’s the harm in a little delusional thinking sweetheart? Sure he’s f__king insane but he’s still hot if you squint hard enough. You think he’s a dom?” 

Why, yes mother. Yes, he is.  

This conversation was embarking into dangerous territory. You had to put an end to it before you said something you couldn’t take back.  

“Okay Mama! We are not going down that road today. Speaking of, um, c-can you send me another therapist recommendation list? The old one you gave me didn’t have any good fits.”  

Thankfully that got her attention off of Joker and just in time too. You could feel his ego getting bigger and bigger from across the room.  

Mom’s loud reply made you hold the phone away from your ear. “YOU’RE GOING TO THERAPY?! Oh, honey that’s wonderful!” She squealed. Getting mental help was always her goal for you, and she was happy that you were finally interested. 

“Um well I went to a few sessions but they didn’t pan out how I’d like them to.” 

Her joy quickly turned into motherly concern. If you were still at home, no doubt she would have you wrapped up in a warm hug. “Really from that list? Huh. Perhaps you could give Dr. Crane a try? I think he’s still practicing.” 

“Dr. Crane? Why does that name sound familiar?” You spun around when you heard Joker drop his plate. It cracked into jagged pieces at his feet, yet he didn’t react. He just stood frozen, staring at the mess.  

You couldn’t risk calling out to him, thus announcing to mom that someone else was with you. She would have a field day and demand to talk to whomever it was. That was a can of worms you did not want to open. But the phone call was still active and she made her presence known again. “Everything alright dear?” Your mom asked over the phone.  

You disregarded J’s odd antics, “Yeah something fell over in the kitchen. Um I’ll check and see if Dr. Crane is in network.” You frowned hearing an incoming call buzzing in. The name made you arch an eyebrow. “Hey Ma, is it okay if I call you back?” 

Not like you actually would, it was simply a Blüdhaven saying to get someone off the phone. Mama recognized it and rushed through her goodbyes. “Alright sweetheart! Me and dad love you!” 

She knew her mistake the moment that word escaped her mouth. There was no way you would say it back. Your reply was curt. “Thanks. You too.”  

Would you ever say I love you again? The probability was unlikely. You ended the call and answered the next one in a sour mood. “Hello?”  

The person on the other end gasped in shock, “Y/n! So you are alive!” 

“Hey Cindy.” 

“Let’s try that again without the attitude. Did someone forget that GothCon is fast approaching, and failed to send over their itinerary for the event?” She heard you groan over the phone. “Mmhm, you really thought I’d forget, Y/n?” 

Her phone call wasn’t a social one. She gave you months to procrastinate but time had run out.  

Cindy’s job was to ensure these public events went smoothly and that her client was doing their part. You threatened to give her grey hairs before thirty.  

 “I have yet to receive anything from you, Y/n. I have no idea what project you’re unveiling if you are presenting anything for that matter!” She said.  

You whined as you wandered over to the sunroom’s large glass doors.  

You had been putting off preparations for GothCon ever since you met Joker. It was the last thing on your mind given the way your life had completely turned upside down. You couldn’t believe it was almost time for the convention and you hadn’t informed your manager of your intentions.  

You could only imagine the catch-up work Cindy was going to dump on you. “I told you months ago to just secure me a forty five-minute main stage slot. I’ll do a big announcement, follow up with the meet-and-greet stuff and my booth appearance.” You whined.  

It was Cindy’s turn to voice her disappointment, albeit more refined than you. You could picture the businesswoman drumming her pristine nails on her desk. Cindy was a chronic perfectionist; surprises were out of the question. She had to know something about your big announcement. 

“That sounds great, Y/n. Your fans will love it. Now, are you announcing the movie deal because Bruce’s legal team sent over the contract ages ago and its sound on our end. I’m just waiting on you to sign off on it. Honestly. Have you checked your email lately? 

No. Your long-forgotten laptop sat closed on your desk for the past few weeks, mocking you. 

Joker dragged you from one drama to the next with little time for reprieve. The last thing on your mind was checking emails or writing despite Joker being the current muse for your WIP. You felt like such a cliché letting a man distract you from work.  

Just because you talked Cindy out of your deadline restriction didn’t mean you could fool around and not work at all. 

You had to write something and you were working on borrowed time. You looked back towards the kitchen and didn’t see J at the counter. If he had plans for the day, so could you. 

“Um. How about I stop by and sign the contract in person? How’s that?” You suggested to Cindy. “We can make a day of catching up! I’ll order lunch and we’ll plan my Con appearance together in great detail and make up for lost time.” 

You knew she wouldn’t pass up a day of productivity.  

“I can agree to these terms. Do you want me to send a car for you?”  

Any other day, you would’ve accepted the offer, that is until you remembered the G wagon that Joker bought you which was parked in the apartment garage. “Actually... no. I’ll drive.” 

Cindy tried to mask her laughter, “Pffft. You? Drive? Y/n, do you even have an ID? You know what? This is Gotham. I’ll see you when you get here.” 

You tried not to take offense to Cindy’s comment.  

You had an ID, you just considered driving as a last resort. Walking and the public subway were all you ever needed growing up. Even now, just thinking about driving was a task you weren’t looking forward to.  

A small part of you wanted to see if Sebastian could chauffeur you to Cindy’s office—yet you didn’t know if J vetted the concierge driver or not. It was better to drive yourself until that got sorted out.  

Thinking about the father of two reminded you to talk to Cindy about securing VIP tickets for Will. You made a promise to the young boy and you wanted to deliver on it. However, before you could do so, you had to get dressed. Cindy would flay you alive if you walked into her office wearing pjs.  

Joker was kind enough to let you wear a shirt of his. The day you planned with Cindy would be productive yet causal and you wanted an outfit that would reflect that. Then you remembered a sweater dress you hadn’t worn yet in the back of your closet. It would fit the crisp Gotham weather just fine while remaining stylish. The better question was if you had the perfect shoes to go with it.  

Joker was stepping out of the bathroom when he saw you speeding down the hall, headed straight into your bedroom. His first thought was grim.  

Running to your sanctuary always spelled bad news. The phone call with your mother must’ve gone south. He had already made plans to visit a few key hideouts around the city and get back on track of his organization. He had no time to stay and worry over you.  

Much to his amusement, you soon ran out of your private bedroom, only to brush past him and enter the guest bedroom without a word.  

Just what was his bunny up to? You looked like a woman on a mission. 

J leaned on the doorframe to watch you fling the closet doors open and frantically begin searching inside. Good thing he wisely moved all of his stashed weapons and illegal goods to a better hiding spot days ago. He wasn’t worried about you finding something dangerous, but he was still rather curious on what you were actually looking for.  

“You uhh need some help, pretty girl?”  

It took you a moment to acknowledge his presence behind you and when you did, your jaw dropped. Sweet Gaia: how did you walk past that? 

Joker was still damp from his shower and the black towel around his hips caught the remaining beads of water that raced down his chest. You watched one in rapt attention disappear past his v lines in slow motion. Another droplet soon entered the race and just like that, you were hypnotized. The wondrous view drew closer and closer as Joker came to a stop in front of you.  

He pushed your jaw closed with his index finger. “Eyes up here Princess.”  

The saucy nickname made you snap out of your daze. You took your time traveling up Joker’s body, drinking up his physique before meeting his gaze. Words escaped you he was so fine. “I um. I was.. I’m..” 

He admired your big eyes looking up at him from the floor. What he would do to have you like this every day, so docile and sweet. It was every man’s dream.  

“Use ya words, Bunny. I bet ya know soooooo many being a err, author n’ all.”  

His thumb reached down to brush against your lips and your lashes fluttered closed at the sensation. Joker was clearly messing with you, yet two could play this game.  

You huffed and turned back around to resume your search.  

“Um if you want to help, I’m looking f-for my snake boots. I want my outfit to pop when I go out today.”  

You made sure to lean forward so Joker could see your back arch just the way he liked. The shirt left little to the imagination and your efforts didn’t go to waste.  

The low growl behind you meant Joker liked what he saw; although, you weren’t expecting him to join you on the floor and begin searching inside the closet. You blinked in shock as he opened a shoe box, grumbled in disappointment when it wasn’t snake print, and toss the box aside before resuming the process again.  

He ruled out four boxes compared to your meager two. You weren’t sure what to make out of it. “J, you don’t have to help. Don’t you have plans today?”  

“And?” He flung a sandal box to the side. He was really invested in this.  

You would never get used to a domesticated version of Joker. The media made him out to be this insane maniac who killed for the fun of it. And while that was true, moments like this were sacred. You were the only person to see Joker in such a way. He looked so normal helping you find a needle in a haystack. Not once did he comment on the hoard of footwear in your spare closet. 

You were so caught up in the moment, you didn’t notice when Joker found the boots you were looking for. 

He read the brand name on the box and opened them just to be on the safe side. They were snake print but he wasn’t certain if they were the right ones you wanted. “Are these the— Y/n? Hey.”  

J snapped his fingers in your face. You jumped but he could tell you weren’t quite all there yet, so he nudged your leg with his foot. “What’s bothering ya Light?”  

Of course Joker would notice something was wrong. He was so perceptive; at times it bordered on being annoying. He would declare your thoughts silly, so you brushed them off.  

“Nothing. Thanks for finding my shoes. Um.. I’m going to Cindy’s office to go over the GothCon details. I-Is that okay?” 

Joker sighed to himself as he set the shoe box down. Just because he told you about your mysterious stalker didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to live your life. You didn’t have to ask for permission to do things. Joker refused to be your ex and trap you into another toxic relationship.  

You looked so shy, staring off to the side and biting your lip. That just wouldn’t do in Joker’s book.  

He knew you weren’t in a right mindset, and he didn’t want to trigger your PTSD with any sudden movements, so he held his hand up for you to see before caressing your face. “You can go annnny-where you want, no need to ask, mkay?” Joker calmly said. ‘I’m not him.’ he mentally added.  

You leaned into J’s calloused palm with a sigh, “If I don’t, then how will my security team know where I’m going?”  

Joker fixed you with a look. Surely you weren’t that daft?  

As if Joker’s security personnel needed to be notified in order to protect you efficiently. They watched over you like a shadow, as if their very life depended on it. Given that Joker was their employer, it probably was. The severity of how much Joker valued your safety hit you full force.  

His eyes in shades of jade and mint, bore into yours right there on the bedroom floor. Joker was doing everything in his power to protect you despite being the source of your troubles. 

You couldn’t wrap your head around why people labelled him a monster.  

Joker was a man with feelings just like the average Joe. He was capable of love and loving hard; a shame you were unable to reciprocate. Joker deserved someone who could match his devotion. He needed someone that wasn’t damaged like you.  

How ironic that Joker was the normal one in this relationship.  

The sudden swirl of negative thoughts made you feel worse than you already were about this torrid affair. Your eyes burned with incoming tears and Joker’s brows furrowed in concern upon seeing them. “Bun?” 

You cleared your throat and grabbed the shoe box off the floor, standing up faster than the Flash.  

The tables had indeed turned; you were now the one looking down at Joker kneeling on the floor. You felt the urge to flee the situation, and you wisely listened to your instincts. 

“I should take a shower and um.. head to Cindy’s office.” Each word was heavy with emotion and Joker was ready to cancel his plans to console his girl. You didn’t give him a chance.  

Joker called out your name but you were already halfway down the hall and the familiar sound of your bedroom door slamming closed echoed throughout the apartment. A sound that Joker dreaded more than anything.  

Joker thought the two of you were past hiding and poor communication, but old habits die hard. You shut Joker out and he had no other choice but to respect your privacy and hope that you emerged from your room in a better mood by the time he came home.  

The black wooden door of your bedroom was the Berlin Wall between you and Joker, and he would do anything to tear it down for the last time.  

Joker sighed in defeat before beginning to dress for the long day ahead. There was much to do and the quicker it was over, the sooner he could return and dote on his Light. 

The long drive to Cindy’s office gave you time to clear your head. You didn’t know what came over you back at the penthouse. Your emotions were all over the place and you didn’t mean to push Joker away like that.  

The morning started out well, amazing even, and you went and screwed it up all over nothing. You wanted to bash your head against the steering wheel for letting your past habits and mannerisms dictate your present love life.  

Just another example of how Joker didn’t deserve someone with your erratic and unhealthy emotions.  

Maybe it was a bad idea to skip therapy today. You clearly had a lot to work on. It was too late for you to try and make it now. You just had to suck up the fact that you were a terrible person and a horrible lover.  

By the time you got dressed and left your bedroom, Joker was long gone.  

You wanted to apologize in person but a well-placed note was left on the foyer table that caught your eye. Joker’s surprisingly legible handwriting was a welcome sight.  

Not mad at ya. 

A comic little bunny was drawn next to his initial and it made you smile just a tad. Joker knew how to lift your spirits, and you left the penthouse in a better mood.  

You pulled up to a red light and glanced through your rearview mirror. The unmarked SUV kept its distance a few cars behind you in traffic. It had been following you ever since you left your apartment garage. Joker’s goons were standing on business when it came to your protection. Not even congestion or other drivers cutting you off stopped them from performing their duty.  

You were a little scared the first ten minutes until they flashed their lights as a sign of peace. Much to your surprise, it was a modified green and purple LED before switching back to the standard white.  

You rolled your eyes at the lengths your lunatic lover would go to ensure your safety. Each sweet gesture made you feel guilty about your attitude towards J earlier and in general. You really had to do better.  

You shook your head as you reached the security gate at your publisher’s office.  

The security guard, TJ, waved at you in greeting and granted you access to the reserved parking area. The SUV following you had seemingly disappeared. You weren’t concerned since you knew they were somewhere lurking in the shadows, watching your every move.  

You turned off the engine and took a minute to collect your thoughts.  

“Clear your head Y/n. Cindy is like a bloodhound. No need to give her ammo.” You whispered to yourself.  

Just like Joker, Cindy would instantly notice something was wrong and pester you relentlessly until you fessed up, and you couldn’t let her find out about J. She’d have the police en route the second you uttered his name.  

Cindy was far too much of an upstanding citizen to even consider your views of Joker. She would question your sanity and label you a Stockholm syndrome victim if given the chance. You had to erase Joker from your mind if you were going to survive today.  

“Nothing is wrong. I am single and nothing is going wrong in my life. Alright, let’s do this.”  

With a confident nod, you stepped out of your vehicle and began walking inside. 

Parked further down the street, a hooded figure watched you disappear inside the building before reporting in. “She’s walking in now.” 

Across town, Joker was outside one of his various Burnley hideouts on a smoke break. Just because he was working did not mean he couldn’t multitask and dote on his Goddess. He expected updates on your safety in real time— now more than ever. He inhaled one last puff from his cigarette before flicking it away. “Good. Stay sharp.” 

It was time for him to head back inside and face his crew.  

Joker hung up and locked eyes with a man who was approaching him in the hall. There were perks of being Joker’s right-hand man. The most important one, Frost could say and do certain things that would normally get others killed. He nodded in greeting before walking alongside his old friend, silently but openly judging. 

There was much to do with the weekend fast approaching— however it was barely lunchtime. Frost wasn’t expecting to see Joker until sundown, if at all today. The fact that Joker was here was enough for Frost to give him the side eye.  

“Hm, I know that look. What’s err.. on ya mind Frosty?” Joker sang.  

“You are. What’re you doing here, Boss?” Frost asked.  

Joker cast a dark glare at his right-hand man. Frost was far too uptight to engage in idle chatter, so J saw right through the question. Not like he would delve in an honest answer. “Awww! Thinkin’ of little ol’ me? I’m uh flattered.”  

What a way to dodge the question. Frost snorted and jabbed the down button on the elevator panel.  

The abandoned warehouse looked decrepit on the outside, but years of money laundering and Mac’s excellent bookkeeping skills allowed the entire interior to be fully renovated. This particular hideout was the second best in the organization and Joker’s personal favorite to date. He was unable to secure his main location in the heart of Amusement Mile from the GCPC since there was still an active manhunt for him.  

They could look all they wanted. Joker was hiding in plain sight, and he had you to thank for such a feat. His Light provided more than shelter; you offered him a home.  

And Frost could see the positive impact that had on Joker.  

A calm aura had settled over the dark clown. Joker was slower to anger, and Frost could see a ghost of a smile peeking through the indifferent mask his boss tended to wear. You were a blessing for Joker and his volatile temperament.  

Showing up at the hideout during its current crisis would ruin your months of arduous work in seconds. It was in Frost’s (and everyone’s) best interest to ward Joker away. Going about it would prove to be difficult.  

The two men boarded the elevator, and Frost spoke up as the doors closed. “If I were you, I’d be spending the day with B, not cooped up underground, stirring up trouble.” 

“Watch it Frost.” J said in warning despite it being empty. Frost knew how far he could push J’s buttons so he went a bit further.  

“Just sayin’ boss. Today’s a good day to make up for a date that someone promised a certain someone. Something about a ‘night she’ll never forget?’ Some lie that turned out to be.” 

Quick thinking on Frost’s part prevented him from being punched in the face and Joker barely felt the white-hot pain of his fist hitting the metal walls. He was more upset that he missed than his busted knuckles.  

“I. Got. The. Message.” Joker growled.  

The elevator was a small space, yet Frost managed to create enough distance long enough for the doors to ding open and escape unharmed. He was wise to leave while he was still alive, yet he still had much to say. “I bet you do J. Mac’s in his office.” He said over his shoulder.  

Joker gave him a deadpan ‘so?’ look.  

Honestly, Frost did not get paid enough for this. Did he have to spell it out for the man? Apparently so. Frost sighed and did just that.  

“The master planner and the finance guy should be able to come up with something memorable for Y/n. She more than deserves it after everything you’ve done.”  

Frost sent his boss a knowing glare before he disappeared down the hall. Joker was left standing in the elevator, lost in the sea of his own thoughts.  

What if you found out about all the horrors that he’d done? Would you still love him? Was it all worth it in the end if you left him? Joker’s hands shook as he considered the unthinkable and his eyes quickly scanned the area to check if he was alone.  

No one could see him in a rare moment of weakness as he battled his inner demons.  

He mashed the button to close the elevator doors and struggled to catch his breath. Joker was smart. When he wanted something to disappear; it did. He covered his tracks and then burned all evidence to it. He shouldn’t have to worry about the what ifs, yet they suddenly hit him full force.  

In an ideal world, you would never find out what Joker did, nor would you accuse him if his misdeeds ever saw the light of day. There was nothing to panic about. He was just overreacting!  

God, he hoped he was just overreacting.... 

Joker nodded to himself, wiped the blood from his knuckles, and exited the elevator.  

Following Frost’s advice, Joker schooled his features and approached Mac’s humble office. Joker didn’t need to knock; he was the boss after all, yet he wasn’t expecting his bookkeeper to be preoccupied upon entry.  

J arched an eyebrow at the blissfully unaware blond twirling around like a schoolboy in his office chair.  

“Nah baby, you got enough flowers. Why don’t I pull up later and give you something we both know you want?” Mac smiled into his phone and was mid spin when he noticed his boss standing in the doorway. The sight could make anyone have a heart attack and Mac was no different. “Oh shhhh.. I’ll call you back!”  

Hopefully Morgana would forgive him for hanging up so abruptly. Right now, he needed to save face in front of his employer and avoid a premature death.  

Mac sat up and scrambled to look the poised, savvy businessman he was. His awkward wave was the icing on the failure cake. “Sup Boss.”  

Joker could care less. Morgana was an uncertain piece to Joker’s current dilemma. He expected Mac to hit it off with the florist after being assigned to shadow her. He didn’t trust her just yet and he wasn’t dumb enough to let her roam Gotham City freely after discovering you were dating The Joker.  

J was wise enough to manipulate his men into watching your friends on his behalf. The same precautions were enforced for Florence by Neo and Joker hoped that Mac didn’t repeat history.  

You would undoubtedly notice if Morgana went missing and with it, Joker’s credibility would shatter. He could not lose his Light. End of discussion.  

For now, J would have to starve off his need to cut loose ends.  

Your friend was safe until proven a threat and judging by Mac’s romantic pursuit, she wouldn’t be.  

He just hated playing nice with others. It was still a new concept to him. “Oh, do call her back, I insist.” J cooed. Today was a good day to start practicing.  

Mac was justified in being cautious. The eerie smile on Joker’s face put him on edge. “You— you want me to call Morgana back? Uhh why?”  

Blue eyes watched as Joker plopped down in the nearby chair and started fiddling with the various objects on the desk. Mac knew that Joker was stalling, it was his favorite scare tactic. When J picked up a costly paperweight, Mac had to interrupt.  

“Sir. Is there a reason, or do you simply wish to harass the poor woman further? I told you; Morgana will keep her mouth shut. She’s too loyal to Y/n.”  

“What’s loyalty hm? Soo~ooo easily bro-K-en.” Joker mumbled.  

He broke the trinket to prove a point and failed numerous times to place it back on the desk the way it was before. Mac had no other choice but to sigh in resignation watching his loony boss make things worse. That was a collector’s item reduced to scrap pieces.  

J knew firsthand how infatuation could blind people to the truth.  

Loyalty could be bought and sold as quickly as the wind changed direction. Soon he would put Morgana to the ultimate test but today, his request would be tame.  

If only lover boy would follow instructions.  

Joker finally got the broken pieces to stay still long enough to look intact. It fell apart a second later. Neither Joker nor Mac cared at this point. “Call. Her. Back.” Joker demanded.  

The room was silent as the two men engaged in a staring contest yet early on, it was clear who would win. Mac caved when the venomous green became too much to bear. He dialed Morgana back and put the phone on speaker— while silently praying the call didn’t turn sour.  

Just as he expected, she was not happy.  

“You got some nerve pretty boy calling back after that lil stunt! You can go ahead and kiss your rights to this pussy goodbye. Are you always this arrogant or is it generic with you snobby socialites? Hello? Oh, so now you don’t wanna speak? That’s fine.”  

Both men could hear her crudely cutting something in the background, most likely with her garden shears, and it didn’t sound pretty. Mac looked distressed the longer Morgana continued her one-sided rant. 

She added insults far more creative than Joker could ever imagine and he decided to intervene to save Mac’s ego.  

He started by clearing his throat, “Hi…..” There was a brief pause before Morgana groaned into the mic.  

“Oh. It’s you. Please don’t tell me you killed Mac and taken his phone? I can’t get a refund on our dinner reservations if he’s a no-show. Matter of fact... do you like Peruvian?”  

It was no wonder why you liked Morgana so much. She was so unbothered and detached from drama compared to your other friends.  

She boldly talked to the Clown Prince of Crime like it was an average day for her. Joker could get used to her sense of humor if he tried. Then he reminded himself that trying was his only option.  

“He’s fiiiiiine errr.. more or less. That’s noT why I called. Ya see, I need a favor and you’re just the girl to help.” He was offended by her automatically disagreeing.  

“I’m not Poison Ivy. If you don’t require my legal business or any help with Y/n, you got the wrong girl.” 

Joker licked his teeth, mulling over her audacity.  

Morgana was acting cheeky as if he wouldn’t harm her. It would not be a hassle to make the short journey to her storefront and teach her how people should talk to The Joker.  

Mac must’ve seen the idea forming in his boss’ mind, for he leaned over the desk and re-entered the conversation.  

“Hey baby. I never took you as someone to turn down a potential business deal. Just hear him out.” 

Morgana sighed knowing that Mac knew something she didn’t. To save her hide, she changed her tune.  

She put down her shears and retreated into her backroom, far away from any customer’s earshot. “Fine, what business does a known psychopathic murderer want with my humble flower shop?” 

Joker snorted. Morgana’s shops were anything but humble. Lavish maybe.  

She had a partnership with EverFresh, (a mega supermarket) for Pete's sake, but he wasn’t going to argue. All that was on Joker’s mind was the night he wished to create for his Light and he would do anything necessary to make it happen since he failed twice now to deliver.  

It would be easier to demand and steal to get his way, but his Light would frown upon that. Joker would have to do this the hard way and unfortunately, that would take some time. 

“I would uh li-Ke....” J glanced at Mac for guidance and the blond quickly wrote on a legal pad for his boss to read. “I would like to.. order a custom floral arrangement.” J read back robotically.  

Mac didn’t know if the delivery would be enough to sway the florist. Joker clearly didn’t make it sound believable.  

Tense seconds passed where both men waited for Morgana’s response, and it came in the form of her laughter. “Now you’re speaking my language!”  

You stepped off the elevator and was promptly greeted by a new secretary seated at the front desk.  

Someone higher up must’ve let her know who you were since she didn’t stop you and ask for credentials. You were free to walk in as if you owned the place. In a way, you did.  

You were the most successful author signed within the publishing house. None of the other contracted authors were killing the game like you. You were Cindy’s pride and joy, and she made that wildly known within the firm. 

You kept your eyes straight on the path to her frosted monogrammed doors. 

People roamed about the large office space, working and mingling, yet it was all background noise to you. The goal was to avoid any interaction and especially with Cindy’s brash and all-around creepy business partner, Thomas Ford.  

He was bound to be lurking around this time of day.  

All these years and he still did not get the hint that you weren’t interested. You thought Bruce’s brief relationship of sorts with you would end any future encounters, but alas, nothing would deter this guy.  

The second you tip-toed pass Thomas' door; it opened in earnest. “Y/n! Long time to see!”  

His booming voice must be the source of many headaches around the firm. Nevertheless, you were taught manners and (regrettably) stopped in your tracks to reply. You turned with a tight smile masking your displeasure. “Mr. Ford..” You said curtly.  

Despite being notorious for eloquent word play, your brain conveniently decided to short circuit now of all times. Words failed you, as if Thomas noticed or cared. He simply stepped outside his door, leaning on the frame. 

“Now Y/n, we’ve known each other long enough for you to call me Thomas, unless you have a thing for titles then I totally understand.” He blocked the way to Cindy’s office and sent you a sly wink.  

Was that supposed to flatter you? 

If he didn’t reek of sexual harassment, you would have a better opinion of the man. He was decent looking, like any corporate male in a suit and tie would be you supposed. Joker had truly corrupted your view of the average male. Normal just didn’t cut it anymore. 

In any case, you were tired of men not knowing how to accept rejection, especially Thomas. “Riiiight. Um if you would excuse me, I have a meeting with Cindy.” 

“I’m afraid she stepped out.” 

The sentence made you stumble a bit in your heels. Surely you heard him incorrectly, but he looked rather confident while watching your clumsy reaction unfold. 

You blinked a mile a minute trying to reboot your system and as a result, your Blüdhaven accent slipped out a bit. “Whatchu mean she ‘stepped out’? I just hit her up this morning!” 

Thomas was taken aback hearing the sudden dialect, but he replied after a brief pause. “Cindy left over an hour ago. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait here with me. If you want, we can catch a lunch together.” He stopped to leer at your body, “Or dessert.” 

Ew. “No thank you.” You said bitterly. You did not need this buffoonery this early in the day.  

You walked off and continued your journey, halfheartedly greeting others on your way to Cindy’s office when you couldn’t ignore them outright. Things seemed normal until you pushed the glass doors open and realized that the room was empty. She really wasn’t here.  

It didn’t make any sense to you. Cindy never left her office unless lunch wasn’t available for delivery and a runner was unable to pick it up. You jokingly scolded her once for not evacuating during a fire alarm so the notion that she just ‘up and left’ wasn’t clicking in your mind.  

Something wasn’t right here. You were about to dial her number when Thomas startled you from behind.  

“Is there something wrong, Y/n?”  

You yelped and faced the imposing male smiling down at you.  

You were used to his creepy behavior but today it was freaking you out even more. You weren’t expecting him to follow you in here and why didn’t you hear the door closing?  

You backed away, instinctively drifting towards the exit. “N-No, I’m just.. I’m calling Cindy.” 

“Why?”  

You fixed him with a sour glare, “Because! I don’t believe you and c-can you... please back up?” He ignored your request and rounded the decorative glass table holding published books to get closer to you. “Why? Does my presence bother you that much honeydew?” Thomas laughed.  

You froze in fear upon hearing the familiar nickname and your phone slipped from your hand, falling onto the floor.  

Thomas watched it fall and was about to tease you further for being a klutz when the office doors opened.  

Cindy walked in and immediately her eyes landed on her business partner. “What the…? Why are you in my office Ford?” She tossed her purse down and marched her way over.  

A few seconds passed before she noticed you kneeling on the floor with your hands covering your ears. “Oh my god, Y/n? Are you alright!?” She reached your side and looked you over. You were breathing erratically, shaking your head.  

When she received no response, she unleashed her ire. Her target was the man looking rather innocent while you slipped into a panic attack. “WHAT DID YOU DO?” She demanded.  

Thomas had the audacity to look offended. “Me? I didn’t do anything! I was just talking—” 

“F__k that. GET OUT. I’ll deal with you later.” She doted on you and gently smoothed your hair down but looked up when she didn’t hear Thomas leaving. He was still standing there watching you freak out.  

“Are you deaf? Get out or do I need to call security to help you?” Her threat pumped enough wind in his sails and she watched him go with narrowed eyes. Hearing your pitiful whimper redirected her focus back to you. “Hey. Y/n it's okay, he’s gone.” 

She waved her assistant away when they tried to walk in. Cindy didn’t want to anyone to see you in such a vulnerable state. She was completely out of her depth on how to handle this and needed reinforcements. “Is there anyone I can call for you?” 

You almost responded yes, but how would you explain that you wanted Cindy to call The Joker of all people to come to your rescue?  

He was the only person you wanted right now but his mere presence would only create more problems, so you shook your head in the negative.  

You knew you were scaring Cindy with your unusual behavior. She was used to your mellow and socially awkward nature whenever you visited the office but never this.  

You came here to work on finalizing your GothCon appearance not to have another mental breakdown in your manager’s office.  

These episodes were becoming increasingly more frequent, and you hated feeling powerless to stop them. Something had to change. You couldn’t let dark memories and harmless words keep triggering you like this.  

You had to take the initiative, starting now.  

You took a deep breath and started slapping your face to regain control of yourself. Cindy jumped, watching the assault take place. “Uh? Y/n?”  

“What? No, I-I'm fine.” You flinched away feeling her hand unexpectedly land on your arm. She noticed and let it drop just as quickly as she offered it.  

An awkward silence enveloped the room, and Cindy was the brave person to cut the tension. She didn’t know how to address this but pressed on anyhow. 

“Y/n? Did he?” She paused, not liking how you visibly bristled. “Did Thomas hurt you?” 

What a loaded question. Would she even do anything if you told her that Thomas, her business partner for years, was an overall creep and constantly harassed you?  

Cindy might be a close friend, but she was a businesswoman first, stuck in a man’s world.  

Men like Thomas were never the problem, instead it was the female who complained that received backlash. He would laugh off your accusations, calling it harmless banter and the trouble that went to speaking up, would only come back to haunt you. There would be awkward tension between you and Cindy and the executives of the publishing house—that Thomas was conveniently a member of.  

Ford took you as the type of male to abuse his power and you read many a tale about how the victims were scorned by powerful men. He would make your life miserable for daring to speak the truth.  

You refused to let Thomas ruin your career and life all because of a few ‘harmless comments.’  

You knew the system well enough to know unless things became physical, (with proper evidence) complaining would do nothing.  

With that mindset you were resigned to keep quiet but not for long. You had a special card up your sleeve.  

Cindy called your name and repeated her question on the off chance that you might’ve not heard it.  

Instead of answering, you brushed imaginary dust from your sweater dress and rose from the floor. “Anyhoo, I was thinking, a big movie announcement followed by a controlled Q&A slot. Maybe five to ten minutes and then round out the allotted presentation time with a new book teaser.” 

You made yourself comfortable on her meeting couch and continued to brainstorm aloud only to be interrupted. 

“Y/n.. I asked you a question.” Cindy was flabbergasted at how you easily brushed off her concern. In her eyes, your flippant attitude raised major red flags and after your visit, she would be investigating her business partner thoroughly to get some answers.  

Right now, she was worried about you. It wasn’t like you to dismiss things so casually. Although you made your intentions clear with a fixed glare.  

“Cindy... I am here to sign contracts and finalize the convention details. I do not have enough spoons left for anything else.”  

Your voice cracked about halfway through, and you could tell when Cindy understood just how close you were to walking out.  

You wanted her to stick to the script. As your manager she could play along and act professional—but Cindy considered herself your friend. She could tell this was seriously bothering you more than it should.  

It pained her to ignore the elephant in the room but if this was your way of coping, so be it.  

Cindy cleared her throat and went to grab her tablet from off her desk before joining you back on the couch, sitting across from you. “Right. Um... New book teaser! Let’s talk about that.” 

You were grateful for the change of subject and relaxed into your role as her client. Sure enough, as the hour passed, things settled into a good rhythm although Cindy still kept a weary eye on you.  

Lunch and mindless paperwork out of the way, she opened her arms for a goodbye hug, only for you to shy away and scramble out her office without a word.  

Cindy tried not to be offended; you were always weird about physical contact. She just thought today would be different. You looked like you needed a shoulder to lean on.  

Nevertheless, Cindy waited a few minutes for you to leave the building before she made a phone call. It rang for a bit until a cheery voice answered.  

Cindy didn’t waste anytime getting to the point. “Hey Barb. Something is wrong with Y/n. Fill me in on what you know.”  

[cherries-in-wine]

My thoughts on Colleen Hoover:

okay hear me out: colleen hoover is for the people who skipped their fan fiction phase.

Hi just a warning this contains spoilers for colleen hoover books and English isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes. These are just me sharing my thoughts feel free to disagree just please don't be mean about it.

So I read a few of her books because I love torturing myself and just wanted to feel something (also my cousin was obsessed with her) and honestly I don't regret it because now I have valid reason shit on it. 

Just fyi I'm a teenage girl in high school so I'm definitely in her target audience, and here's what I've gathered:

None of her main characters really have a personality. they feel more like shells that the reader can self insert themselves into. The books aren't really about two people getting to know each other and falling in love it feels more as a bunch of tropes and generic scenarios thrown together. I think this is one of the reason booktok girlies act with Colleen Hoover the way I did when I found out fanfics exists. 

It also just reads like fanfiction? like because there's not much to dwell on and they're so easy to digest you can finish them in just a few hours. plus the main characters just feels like y/n: a shell to self insert yourself into, dead/abusive father, just normal girl who finds herself in these situations etc.

Here's the thing about fan fiction though: the reason why it's so fun to read is because you already know the people/characters in it so you can get right into the scenarios and imagines because they don't really need any background or development. 

But the difference is when you write these books you have to develop these characters and introduce them to the readers otherwise I'm just like "I don't even know these people so why the fuck would I care?"

Comparing her to fanfic is honestly an insult to fanfic writers because at least they have the decency to tag their posts properly (calling the abuse, abuse dark themes, dark themes etc) plus they're just so much better.

Colleen Hoover fans will say that she brings up difficult topics in her books in order to defend her but here's the thing: writing about difficult topics doesn't exactly exempt you from criticism + she doesn't even write about them?? they just feel like lazy add ons to spice up the story and add some drama. if you're gonna write about difficult topics you need to discuss and write them properly not just use them to further the plot.

I don't like any of the love interests either. 99% of them are just abusive, piece of shit bland boiled chicken ass people with the unsexiest names I've ever heard of.

Also a lot of these have very much women hating women undertones? I feel like it's the author's misogyny being reflected in her books (extra heart breaking coming from a woman herself). It's very much "you're not like the other girls you're different" kinda themes.

I thought maybe people just enjoyed it because of the smut but the smut is SO BAD oh my god I wanted to kms.

My thoughts are a little all over the place right now (they always are) but maybe i'll update if I remember any more points

thank you so much for reading mwah <33

[whywoulditho]

I'm glad, that DC writers are changing constantly and therefore the characters are protected from the Bat-family. The Bats are the cancer of DC comics. There wouln't be any independant characters anymore if they could gez their grubby hands on the other DC families

That's another way to look at it.. I agree that they're trying a bit too hard to connect every character to the bats' storyline. so you might have a point there. maybe it would create more bad than good if they let batfam authors interfere with the other storylines... but i still wouldn't call the bats the cancer of DC. I think if you took the bats out of DC, it would lose like half of its charm and quality.

with all that being said though, i still think the biggest problem of DC romances (or comic book romance in general) lies in each run having separate authors. think about why harley x ivy worked. it's because both of those characters already existed before they got together. both of them were loved villains and later anti-heroes, they both have their own story, their own past and their own redemption arcs. they're both INTERESTING. and when DC made the risky choice of making them a couple, it worked.

i'm not saying it would work with any other characters, or that they should make all their major characters date each other. but if you want to explore romance in your comics you have to give the readers an actual relationship, involving two realistically written and interesting people. not a major character and their accessory love interest. that's my issue with tim x bernard, or jon x jay. no one will get attached to, or even invested in, these relationships because we don't know anything about the love interests. they're just some random people. even if you try to give them personalities they will still not have a story outside of their relationship with the major character. bernard and jay were only created so tim and jon would have someone to kiss. it's hard to care about them, and therefore their relationship. they're just boring romance side plots.

you can introduce a character with the sole purpose of making them a couple with one of your major characters and still make it work, like batman and catwoman. you can create chemistry with a new character just as well as you can with already existing ones. but i think we need more of the first option. less last minute love interests and more people falling in love. i think what makes DC special is that they show us so many different versions of their major characters, we get to see them grow and change (take notes, marvel) so it wouldn't be off-brand to see already existing major characters, like superboy and robin, ending up together. not when it's DC. to be honest i think it would be like super iconic of them to do that. and i also think that DC fans would much rather have their favorite characters end up with the kind of person they went through hell and back with instead of like, a random citizen. tim and kon have so many parallels. they're both people who didn't have to be heroes at all, but still chose to do it. they both struggle with carrying a mantle too big and the fact that they were not chosen for it makes them even more insecure. they also have a past together, they're close friends, they would take a bullet for each other. so much potential. dont even get me started on damian and jon. those two are like, literal mirrors of their fathers. they have huge legacies on their shoulders and they're like quite literally the only people that could understand one another. again, so. much. potential. i'm not saying they have to be together, but if DC was gonna write romance for these characters I wish it could have been with each other.

[embrace-and-love]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part IV (with a bit of spoilers)

Lestat's narration has gotten so much better actually. I mean, I still don't care when he talks about stuff that doesn't have an effect on him, but when he describes things/people that actually do? It's great. It's just so vivid, rich, colorful, sometimes even abstract that simply makes me giggle and kick my feet. When he gets really thoughtful about life, vampirism, existence, religion, morality, feelings, theater, music etc, it feels like borderline insanity, but in a brilliant way? Feels like I'm tasting some crazy drug and tripping, but it's so good? It activates a very specific part of my neurodivergent brain and I love it because I'll also be having those crazy thoughts all by myself with nobody to talk to and Lestat just gets it.

I also love the excess of exclamations on this POV haha.

Sometimes it just feels like a naive child telling things and is kind of endearing.

ARMAND!

Armand in Lestat's words: he was beautiful, ethereal, sublime, exquisite, delicate, soft, perfect, a Caravaggio painting, a Da Vinci painting, an angel, I found myself in him, the possibility of him, I didn't pay attention to [whatever] because I was looking at him etc etc.

Basically calling him the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, really.

Like, I legit MEMORIZED some of them. Lestat was THAT repetitive lmao.

I don't know if it's because the words were so superlative or because Lestat had it that bad or because I have it that bad just thinking about it, but yeah.

I'm not even kidding when I say I need to take pauses because this is kind of unsettling.

I'm so serious, but I feel like reading Lestat's description of Armand has a bigger effect on me than the prettiest person I have ever seen in freaking R E A L L I F E? What the hell, WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?

Lestat, tone it down, I'm begging you.

Been told Armand is really that gorgeous and every character talks about him that way, so apparently he isn't exaggerating... I'm gonna lie down, bye.

It's even worse because I just picture show!Armand because he's even more handsome there so it makes me dizzy.

Also because Lestat won't miss an opportunity to talk about his beauty? He LITERALLY says it EVERY SINGLE TIME he sees Armand. I'm not joking, I swear on my own life. I'm like, OKAY, WE GET IT? ENOUGH!

Armand (Lestat's version) on season 3 will be insufferable and I'm so ready for it. But also not ready yk.

At this point I'm basically just drooling over him and I don't care.

PERFECT casting with Assad. He incorporates Armand like no other. Everyone on the show is talented and I can see them as their characters, but there's one thing or another that I imagine differently sometimes? But not Armand, like, my Armand looks, walks, moves, talks, stares etc the exact same way Assad does it on the show. Every single time. The others are like, 90% or something for me, but Assad is 100% my imagination? It's like he traveled in time, stole my 2024 thoughts, went back to the past, auditioned, got the part and then played it exactly the way I see it today. It's crazy.

Wouldn't be surprised if that's the case, they already have all these possessions going on, what's more to our little satanic show lmao.

Also, great casting with Assad because no man with red-ish hair has looked this good ever. It just doesn't make sense, I'm sorry.

Armand is a beauty God, but also a really good character and I love his lines. Even when I don't agree with him, I just find him fascinating, the role he has on the story, what he represents, the way he moves the plot, whatever the effect he has on Lestat etc...

Armand's moments are never boring. He'll probably piss me off later, but right now I'm having a great time and the book has never been better.

Lesmand's/Armandstat's moments are always heated. The tension is always there. I'm not telling you what kind. Actually, I don't even know it myself. Do THEY even know?

Sam said something about how you're never sure what they are and I think he's right? At least for now. Let's see it after all the books.

They also act like they've known each other forever, have this crazy history that goes through centuries and they already can push each other's buttons... But they actually, like, only know each other for 5 minutes? CHILL?!

They're sort of soul ties/mirrors/foils/two sides of the same coin-coded in an appealing way.

I guess I can say Armand is my favorite character right now. I always read it faster when he's there, I'm always looking forward to seeing him again, I'm fine when I don't see Gabrielle or Nicki, but I'm always like, BRING HIM BACK. I don't know if I should be worried I'll grow into hating him when stuff happens or if I'll just be an Armand apologist lol. I'm scared. But let's wait to see it.

Samssad on season 3 will be delicious. Specially on the 1700s flashbacks. I'm expecting almost, if not EVERY scene of them there to be INTENSE. Great acting potential there.

I really want to see a moment with Armand and Lestat in a church like on the book? Let's take their angelic faces and curls to the next level. Put them in a church, surrounded by religious figures, stained glasses, candles etc. I don't even care what the context will be. They can be talking, silent, killing each other, doing something else, doing all of it, but give me the heavenly visuals. Actually, if they want to film the entire show in a church they can, it would be so aesthetically pleasing. Bonus points if they use Gothic churches because I'm extremely obsessed with them. Bonus points if they use Sainte-Chapelle because I'm kind of even more hyperfixated on that. I mean, it would never happen, but it should *shrugs*.

Btw, the mess Armand made in the house and the way he was reading the books is very neurodivergent of him.

The way he prefers to talk telepathically instead of speaking out loud is very neurodivergent of him as well.

Nicki is soooooooooo doomed by the narrative, omg. Anne didn't even try to hide it.

I'm not really sure how I feel about Nicki except that he needs therapy...

This is probably the silliest comment so far, I'm no longer thinking clearly after Armand's introduction. Sorry, guys. It will happen again.

The next chapter has his name so I'm scared, but also excited.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat’s narration, which can be unreliable. I’m reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I’ll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I’m enjoying it. I’m posting these comments only for fun.

[near-dareis-mai]

Something interesting to me that I think fails to be taken into account of the criticism "the Dragon Reborn can be more than one person or any gender" plotline in the show is that I feel most of the critics seem to mistakenly assume that the show is presenting it as a fact that the Prophecies of the Dragon are flawed, and that the show is presenting Moiraine's personal ideas of the Dragon as ironclad fact.

When, in fact, if you watch Episode 6 closely, what you're actually getting is an argument between two diametrically opposed points of view a) Moiraine, who thinks the Tower prophecies might be innacurate, and who therefore thinks they need to cast a wider net for who the Dragon Reborn is and b) Siuan, who thinks the Tower's prophecies are accurate, and who therefore thinks that they should be narrowing the candidates down according to who prophecy says the Dragon Reborn should be.

So you've got a) Moiraine, who's travelled all through the Westlands, and heard a hundred stories about the Dragon from a hundred different villages, taking the argument that the prophecies of the White Tower can be fallible and that some other prophecy out there might be the one they're looking for. It's natural for her to take this argument, because twenty years of being outside of the Tower and hearing differing stories is naturally going to shape her mind to be skeptical that the Tower is the only authority in this, or that the Tower holds the only right set of prophecies. It makes total sense for Moiraine to put forward this argument.

And then you've got b) Siuan, who's stayed in the Tower, who leads the Tower, who knows first hand the rigorous fact and information storage protocols of the Tower, taking the argument that the Tower's set of the Prophecies of the Dragon are accurate, and that they should stick to identifying the Dragon Reborn using them. It's natural for Siuan to take this argument, because the White Tower is pretty much the only institution to make it out of the chaotic post-Breaking period intact, and from the start the Aes Sedai have shown a vested interest in ACCURATELY preserving information, to the point where the Tar Valon library has a copy of every single book in existence. It makes total sense for Siuan to put forward this argument that the Tower's prophecies will be accurate in a way that no word-of-mouth prophecies passed down through generations in some out-of-the-way village would be.

But, at the end of the day, that's just what they are: arguments. The show presents both Moiraine and Siuan's arguments neutrally, and with equal weight: it doesn't actually take a side. It doesn't actually say that Moiraine is right. It doesn't actually say Siuan is right. Instead, it lets them present opposing arguments for tracking down the identify of the Dragon Reborn, and then the plot moves right along without establishing either one as right just yet.

And the kicker is, by the end of the series, THEY'RE BOTH GONNA BE RIGHT.

Siuan is going to be right, because yes the Tower's prophecies ARE going to turn out to be the most accurate of the prophecies in all the Westlands that Moiraine has travelled to. ALL the Tower prophecies are going to come true, even if the Aes Sedai haven't interpreted them correctly.

And Moiraine is going to be right because there ARE going to be other people with accurate prophecies that will come to light: the Aiel and the Sea Folk. The Sea Folk prophecies of the Coramoor and the Aiel prophecies of the Car'a'carn are going to come to light, and they're going to be just as right as the prophecies of the Tower.

It's just… as a book-first fan myself who watched the show later, I have no idea how we book fans can be mad about this one, and I simply don't understand the criticism that this was a short-lived plot point with little value going forward. The show can only have created this argument if the show-runner has full knowledge of how the book series wraps up, a long-running thread that can only be proven in multiple seasons, rather than just a one-season mystery box. And they've even taken care to set up the opposing ends of the argument be Moiraine and Siuan, the two people who first started the quest together, the two people who first head Gitara's prophecy of the Dragon being reborn. In Season 1, they've set up an almost metaphysical argument between Moiraine and Siuan that can only truly be answered in Season 8 after the Last Battle, at the end of the age of prophecies.

Additionally, they're also foreshadowing an argument that's going to happen between Rand and Tuon near the very end of the series: what do you do when two sets of supposedly infallible prophecies seem to clash, as the Westlands and Seanchan prophecies seem to clash, re: the Dragon kneeling to the Crystal Throne?

What part about this shows a lack of forethought, of not thinking through implications? To me, it shows the opposite. It shows that they're thinking through implications so deeply that they've set up this overarching near-metaphysical argument in Season 1 that can only be truly resolved in the final season of the final episode of the show.

[bonefall]

So sorry if you’ve already talked about her and I just can’t find the post, but I would love to hear about BB!Sliverstream. I feel like the fandom and the books portray her as just generically loving and who’s whole life revolves around Graystripe and their tragic romance… But come on! She was breaking the code to meet him, she’s rebellious! She’s the daughter of Crookedstar! There’s so much potential there for a really fun character. But she ends up being nothing but dead warrior cats wife/mother number one

UNG

I've talked about her before but I'd have to go digging for it, so I'm just going to gush about her and everyone is gonna listen up. Because I love her. I love her so much. I love everything about her and her death and I think anyone who boils her down to just "a fridge wife" needs to read TPB again, and open their hearts and minds to the IMPACT that she had on the entire narrative

Because she DOESN'T just die to give Graystripe man pain. She hits EVERYONE, she drives the plot, she was a really well characterized cat and her death is heartwrenching!!!

First of all, I like the explicit fact that Graystripe and Fireheart are very young at the time. New warriors, almost immediately given apprentices.

In BB, I decided to make this one point where Bluestar bends the code to a disastrous result (in BB, you aren't supposed to have an apprentice until you're at least a year out). Graystripe should not have an apprentice when he's barely out of apprenticeship himself! Young people do dumb and wreckless things, question rules, they do what they want. And he ignores Brackenpaw to hang out with Silverstream.

And it's easy to see why! Silverstream's a self-assured, hostile popstar who is daughter of the leader and PRIDES herself in that. She has a great heart but will not follow rules she thinks are dumb, because she feels she is above consequence.

And she likes Graystripe because he's HONEST. He does what he pleases and if he takes an interest in you, it's genuine and flattering. He's funny! He's good humored and laid back! Fireheart is frustrated by this because he's responsible, anxious, and serious, but Graystripe CAN'T stay serious for that long.

He needs to live and relax. YES that makes him irresponsible and even avoidant-- and I like that a lot! But he loves with such raw devotion, never able to do what Clan Culture expects of him!

So NO WONDER these two ended up as cross clan mates. They're like peanut butter and jelly. Silverstream who feels above the rules and Graystripe who is loyal to people over clan. To them, the Code is a guideline

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? THEYRE RIGHT!!!!

The code IS flawed!!! This IS a bad fucking rule! Their love IS stronger than this! The "Law of Loyalty" (my bb term for it) EXISTS BECAUSE OF THE SIMPLE TRUTH;

IF YOU LOVE CATS OF OTHER CLANS, AS FRIENDS, LOVERS, OR FAMILY, YOU SEE THAT THE DIVISONS ARE BULLSHIT

And that destroys the battle culture!! We SEE this in TPB, there are several times where cats will back off of fighting Fireheart because he's their fucking friend! He refuses to hurt Silverstream because she's his best friend's lover!!

And when she dies it's DEVASTATING. It wouldn't be the same if Graystripe's choices following her death were about choosing his lover over his home clan!

It's childbirth, as if she's being punished by StarClan for codebreaking! She wanted to deliver her children with her mate by her side, and had a horrible death on the rocks away from an experienced medcat. Cinderpelt blames herself for not being good enough to save her, destroying her confidence for several chapters until she can realize it was never her fault

And after this, Bluestar doesn't punish Graystripe... because she knows how awful it is to lose a mate from another Clan. Her death should be enough; in spite of the baying from the Tiger Clique for a harsher sentence.

Like... what frustrates me most about Silv is how the later books reduced her, for a period of time, into JUST a sweet nicey fridgewife that gives Graystripe permission to move on. She was fierce. She was assertive. She is the person who said, "If the law says my love is wrong, then it's the CODE that's incorrect!"

I wish she kept that ferocity in Graystripe's dreams and memories of her. A voice that would tell him that his heart has never lead him astray, even when others told him he was on the wrong path.

It was nice to see her return to some form with a spike of jealousy in TBC, and for as much as I hated Leopardstar's Honor, at LEAST it remembered she wasn't a sweet nicey waif.

So in BB I plan to change very little. BB!Silverstream was beloved by a lot of people, and people will fight for her name. Her death has a huge, negative impact on Graystripe and he never totally gets over her death, even while he's raising his new family. During TigerClan, her children are stripped of their names and slapped with cruel Dishonor Titles (Stormpaw to Graypaw, Featherpaw to Silverpaw), to remind them of how their birth killed their mother, and that their father is not here to pay for his crimes.

This infuriates her friends and family, and Deerfoot's rebels are joined by them in their guerilla opposition of TigerClan.

[a-cloud-for-dreams]

Okay, I caved and downloaded Romance Club😭😭 Does anyone have any good story recommendations? I'm still gonna be on Choices and post Choices content (and finish off the books on my reading list). I just feel like I need to stop relying on one storytelling app

Ugh, this is such a weird feeling! It reminds me of when I switched from Episode to Choices and I had to acclimate to the better quality of stories imao. I just wanna ✨expose myself✨ to more interactive apps and since Storyscape or wtvr doesn't exist anymore this is the closest I can get

And The Haze Will Take Us (UP TO DATE)

Kali: Flame of Samsara (UP TO DATE)

Astrea's Broken Heart (UP TO DATE)

Heaven's Secret: Requiem (UP TO DATE)

Chasing You 2 (UP TO DATE)

W: Time Catcher (UP TO DATE)

Love, Sin, and Evil Vol. 1 (UP TO DATE)

Garden of Eden (UP TO DATE)

Soulless (UP TO DATE)

7 Brothers (UP TO DATE)

Song of the Crimson Nile (UP TO DATE)

Legend of the Willow (NEXT DIAMOND RUSH)

Heart of Trespia (NEXT DIAMOND RUSH)

Psi (NEXT DIAMOND RUSH)

Chasing You (STARTED...)

Sails in the Fog (STARTED...)

Dracula: A Love Story (STARTED...)

Rage of the Titans (STARTED...)

Hell and Highwater (STARTED...)

Shadows of Saintfour

COMPLETED

Kali: Call of Darkness: 9/10; love the MC, the characters, the story progression, the Dozen lore, replayability, etc. but gets a point off for its problematic depiction of Indian culture and Hinduism) tbh it deserves an extra point or two off because I despise the way Remy clearly wrote from a Eurocentric perspective, but this is also the first RC book I read after the slew of mid Choices books so I got attached unfortunately

Theodora: 9.6/10; I got the ending where I was only able to save my soul and it made me sad 😭 the story was well written but there were parts where I was just a lil bored. At least, that’s how I felt initially before I became obsessed with the book. It's objectively amazing etc. but I feel kinda robbed from screentime with the OG characters if that makes sense? Either way the writer did a great job writing them into the plot in later seasons and the MC is so amazing I love her <3 it’s not easy to write the progression of multiple relationships already but to have a different set of likable LIs every season is incredible!

Arcanum: 9.8/10; THIS BOOK WAS SO GOOD omg I love how the plot came full circle and the MC was interesting and well-written (her character design was also top tier). It's such a unique concept for a book I love it. I feel like S3 could have gone by a lil quicker (along with a couple of other nitpicky things) but that could just be because S2 was so full of action

Heaven's Secret: 9.9/10; I just started its sequel, but I was pleasantly surprised at how engaging this book was! I like the gradual progression from being a new student to slowly learning the truth behind your death and about the academy. The final battle scene was super cool, and I feel like everything had a logical explanation (ex. Shepha only having power over light). I also like the different pathways of being an Angel, Demon, or Harmony Bearer (which I was!) it was really fun and seems like a replayable book <3

The Desert Rose: [review pending, check later]

The One Volume 2: [review pending, check later]

Vying for Versailles: [review pending, check later]

Sins of London: [review pending, check later]

Heaven's Secret 2: [review pending, check later]

[wolfscarr]

Helluva Boss: The Grimoire. Useless, Pointless, Wasted.

https://www.tumblr.com/wolfscarr/722663010998566912/asmodean-crystals-mere-existence-is-the-issue?source=share

^ How the Asmodean Crystals really break the narrative.

https://www.tumblr.com/wolfscarr/749044157770825728/helluva-broken-narrative-and-the-most-useless?source=share

^ The Broken Narrative

Alright so this is probably gonna be my last post on this show, or unless something else happens that REALLY gets under my skin.

Now the Grimoire? This....THIS thing has got to be one of the most wasted, pointless and useless plot devices I’ve ever seen. But  let’s go over what it’s supposed to be as per Season 1 hm?

What it’s suppose to be

The Grimoire as per Season 1 of HB, is suppose to be the key in how and why Blitz is able to run I.M.P., he explicitly states in the commercial from the Pilot that this is the reason why the Company is the way it is. That this Company is all about going to the Living World and killing people up top for money and that the only way they can do this, is because they have ‘special access’ to it.

Now in order to do this, Blitz had to go through this monthly deal in exchange for the book. All of this is perfectly fine, it’s set up as something very important and what Blitz needs in order to get a lifestyle that he wants.

What it became

Almost immediately the Grimoire is reduced to nothing more than...a paperweight. Because right at the start of Season 2, were introduced to something called Asmodean Crystals, which enable travel to the Living World and these Crystals can be in the form of various jewelry or whatever that can be worn.

Oh but then it gets even worse as right in EP 3 of Season 2, Blitz states to Crim at least twice that I.M.P. doesn’t do killings in Hell anymore, they used to...but now they don’t anymore. He also says this to Stolas in EP 1 of Season 2 BEFORE he gets the Grimoire that he’s killing people.

These 2 things bring into question the WHOLE point of Blitz’ deal and the entire show. The WHOLE SHOW falls apart because of this. 

A show functions by having a coherent plot/story. Season 1 gave a reason as to why Blitz needed the Grimoire and why he had to be around Stolas. 

Season 2 meanwhile just threw all that out the window, Blitz doesn’t need the Grimoire anymore, he has no reason to be around or even talk to Stolas....so why?

Here’s a thought, remove Stolas and the Grimoire entirely from HB. Aside from no gay stuff involving Blitz and Stolas, what changes overall with regards to I.M.P.?

I’ll tell you...NOTHING.

The characters are still the same, hell you can still basically have all the episodes with perhaps a couple of adjustments, but you could still have them.

 In fact you could make far more interesting episodes, because as I said in a prior post, you could easily make both character building and world building with just revolving around the Asmodean Crystals.

Or I.M.P in Hell? Maybe they take out contracts from Hellborn, maybe lower Nobility, hunting targets throughout the Rings. Because I’ll tell you what, those Earth centric episodes haven’t really been that great to start with. If I.M.P was taking out contracts BEFORE Sinners with Hellborn clients, then nothing changes other than location. Oh and look at this, you expand upon your world building in Hell this way too. Which wasn’t that suppose to be one of the points of Helluva Boss, seeing as Hazbin was taking place in one area?

You could even still have male/male stuff too, if you really wanted as well. This isn’t rocket science, if you can remove the Gromire and Stolas completely and nothing really changes because there’s other alternatives that can basically make the story go the same way or in another interesting direction? Then there’s an issue.

The Grimoire in of itself has also not been used to its full potential I feel as well. Here you have this fantastical book that clearly has some powerful magic, yet the only thing it’s used for is....portal opening. There’s so many different ways that the Grimoire can be used for various episode shenangeins and yet on its own, is just wasted.

Despite my last couple of posts, I do like this show. ....For what little I like, I like this show. It’s just stuff like this bothers me and I don’t wanna have to just “deal with it or go with it” because it’s a show made by a small studio and on Youtube. Audiences shouldn’t have to be like that, the studio sets the deadline, the studio does the writing, they have all the time in the world. I mean just look how long we had to wait for episodes folks, stuff like this shouldn’t be happening, at least not something so huge.

Anyway now that I got that out of my system, I can relax and enjoy the show...well as much as I can.

[hana-bobo-finch]

OKAY!!! GUESS WHO SPENT THE WHOLE DAY WRITING THIS OUT. THATS RIGHT, IT’S PUMPKIN DADDY TIME. this is gonna be a (VERY!!!) long one so be warned

So. Finch. Pumpkin daddy. Whatever ya wanna call him, he’s a complete maniac!!! (I WILL BE REFERRING TO HIM AS PUMPKIN DADDY THROUGHOUT THIS BUT PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU, JUST CALL HIM FINCH. YOU DONT HAVE TO GO AROUND SAYING PUMPKIN DADDY UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO) Yippee !!! There’s no easy way to begin explaining this fool but it is what the people want so ok.

As the name of pumpkin daddy’s book club implies, he’s essentially the main character meaning there’s the most to go over with him. I’ll try to remember everything but I’ll probably forget some stuff, but what I do forget will probably be pretty unimportant so it doesn’t really matter if I don’t go over every single detail. Also I’ll be retreading some things I’ve already went over so skip over those if you’re a seasoned pumpkin daddy expert. Also might be a bit messy because I’m really just piecing together random parts, I’ve never actually made a full timeline. WHATEVER pumpkin daddy rant begins now

Brief timeline summary before I get into the miscellaneous side details.

FIRST OF ALL. as a young lad he was chillin in a pumpkin patch for some reason and OH GOOD HEAVENS he got attacked by some pumpkin-patch-dwelling-feline-like-creature. With the power of plot armor he was preeeetty much fine, somehow, but the creature (still don’t know what it is uhh I’ll think of it someday) had remnants of gourd on it and thusly poor little soon to be pumpkin daddy got an infection that made it so he could turn his head into a pumpkin (and part of his upper body I guess) and thus, the monster known as Pumpkin Daddy was born.

Sometime after this his parents just kinda checked out of existence. That makes it sounds like they’re dead, they’re not. I briefly touched upon this phenomenon in a previous post and I don’t expect you to dig back to find it but essentially, TBYTF (fairy thingy) can make people go into catatonic states where they’re basically stuck inside their own head so. That is what happened to them. Functionally dead but eh they got a heartbeat I guess. It’s called a catatonic illusion, keep this in mind for later. Point being, they were outta the picture. Ya’d think that’d traumatize ol’ pumpkin daddy but he legitimately could not give less of a fuck about any of that. is he repressing his emotions is he denying it? NO he just does not care for whatever reason and is Very confused why people think it should’ve messed him up. Anyhoo he still needed SOME sort of legal guardian so he went to DINO MA’AM!!!

yeaaahh that’s right his grandmother is a literal dinosaur!!! I do NOT know the logistics of it but she is a dinosaur of unspecified species and you’re just gonna have to accept that. She’s called Dino ma’am. Not much is known about her as she’s not really that important, except that she used to be roommates with Turtlemeister and she loves making people dinner. No other meals, just dinner. She will get very sad if people don’t show up for dinner. Unfortunately for her, pumpkin daddy rarely shows up for her dinners because he doesn’t really like/care about her all too much. The two have like. No real bond. Dino Ma’am also (potentially) has an evil twin named Dino Maim who killed Dino ma’am and sent the polaroids of her corpse to pumpkin daddy but…..I do not know the validity of that plot point because I made it up as a joke because I wrote “maim” instead of “ma’am” once. So who knows if that’s actually true to the plot. Doesn’t really matter.

I hate writing backstories in childhood because I hate writing about children. Thusly he hasn’t much backstory in earlier years. All I really have before the actual story starts is all of that stuff and also he would break into spillways to go swimming. “Isn’t that Extremely Fucking Dangerous” YES!!! truly by some miracle he never drowned and instead he developed great swimming skills after doing this for years and years. He also encountered the legendary Ginji Way, the warden of the spillway, a wannabe cowboy who rode around on his horse Jerry patrolling the area. You’d think Ginji would kick him out and you’d be wrong! Ginji is there illegally too, he has no permission to be there either. He just does it for fun. Not much came of their interactions though except that pumpkin daddy developed an intense hatred for Jerry the horse. He may have kidnapped Jerry and given him laser eyes but I do Not know yet.

Aaaanyway the main timeline begins now okey dokey. At the ripe old age of 17 he formed a group dedicated to studying TBYTF. It was a very small group, only consisting of him and two others, Bingo and Mole (They’re important but not to this). In a desperate attempt to get any sort of information on TBYTF he told his co-workers at the crappy drink joint he worked at to give anyone who mentioned TBYTF his contact information. Somehow this worked and he managed to recruit Gourdie!!! woaaaghhh his wife BUT ALAS their initial meeting was not love at first sight. Gourdie didn’t think the whole pumpkin head thing was as cool as he did. Woe. Also she accidentally made him cry by mentioning King Arthur (will get to that later on). Nonetheless Gourdie agreed to join his group and they pretty quickly fell in love (EEEEEWWWW). Also during this time he somehow managed to become a fucking Olympic swimmer?? We can only assume the swimming competitions in this universe are sorely lacking in any true talent. Either way it certainly made Gourdie impressed with him.

Anyhoo, being the unfortunate combination of brash, obsessed with doing things as soon as possible, and slightly stupid, the pair decided to get married when they were both only like 20. Awesome idea, I’m sure this will end well for them!!! Buuuut for the time being they were happy together and continued their studies of TBYTF.

Sometime after their marriage (which went horribly may I add, long story there. Their vows were sabotaged. By uh. O’chunks from super paper mario. I will have to change that eventually but for now I’m keeping him as a placeholder because I think it’s funny) our old pal pumpkin daddy got into some trouble! Eeeeeyikes! He was a pro wrestler but WHOOPS his friend tried to kill him during a match!!! Uh oh!!! To be fair he miiiiight have been demonically influenced at the time but still!!! Not cool man!!! Pumpkin daddy’s plot armor finally failed him and he was hurt pretty damn bad! He survived of course but his back ended up being, in simple terms, all screwed up, among other things. So that pretty much put an immediate stop to his prior careers, considering it’s rather hard to swim when you are constantly going “eeeyyyoowwch my back :(“

But moving on!!! Alas, as if he did not have it bad enough already, the doctor with him was my beloved bellona (I have yapped about her before, don’t remember where or when but I have before). They felt nothing but pure contempt towards one another!! They essentially tried to make each other’s lives hell in an eternal loop of revenge. Ironically it was through this unending revenge cycle that they ended up being able to tolerate each other’s existence (though they definitely weren’t friends. In fact they never did really each that level of toleration). This eventually blossomed into, as I said, not exactly a friendship, but more of some mutual respect and backwards enjoyment of each other’s company, in a “I hate you so fucking much it fascinates me and I want to hang out with you” kind of way.

Skipping over a lot from that time for the sake of keeping this at least somewhat brief—crabs. Crabs are a protected species in this universe and thusly eating them is strictly prohibited. But pumpkin daddy wanted crabs. He NEEDED crabs. And so he discovered a black market crab restaurant atop a mountain which, coincidentally, was in the same mountain range where his group was studying TBYTF—in fact the restaurant was on the point nearest to where TBYTF resides. This restaurant was surprisingly very fancy, like marble floors, chandeliers, grand pianos, this place was ELITE for being an illegal crab restaurant. Pumpkin daddy would of course go here often, generally every weekend. After a while and after growing a bit more tolerant of her, he agreed to show Bellona the place as she wanted to go there too (aka she followed him there despite his constant yelling to go away and stop following him and he’s going to call the police and blah blah blah. He eventually gave in and let her come with him but for the first few times she was, for all intents and purposes, just straight up stalking him). So they’d go there along with, occasionally, Gourdie, and they’d just hang out and study TBYTF I guess (there’s a lot more to it but again this is just a brief overview of things, if I were to get into the details we’d have to go over tridents and the song arabesque by friedrich burgmüller and astronomy and broken guitars and attempted murders and blah blah blah that’s all just not important).

The Briar Zome was also discovered during this time (again I have a post on that, one of the first PDBC posts I made I think) which led to the creation of the Alcoves, which are a series of pocket dimensions similar to the briar zome. Creation might not be the right word for it, he more so discovered how to reach the alcoves. Point is he made this huge discovery and what he did with it was simply make a pathway to the alcoves in his house and simply treated the alcoves like just another area. Could go into further detail but it’s not really important right now.

During this time pumpkin daddy truly earned the name pumpkin daddy, as he and Gourdie had a kid!!! Woah!!! awesome right? WRONG. turns out, to the horror of everyone involved, the whole pumpkin head thing is hereditary. whoops. Didn’t really affect too much at first, I mean despite the kids head being a literal gourd he was otherwise just an average human being. But pumpkin daddy gave him a terrible name! Extraordinarily!!! Shortened to Extra!!! What kind of name is that!!! Now that I think about it, it’s kind of stupid that it’s seen as an atrocious name in-universe when there are characters named stuff like mole and parasite. Ah well.

Things were fine for a bit until pumpkin daddy and Gourdie broke up. Mostly because pumpkin daddy was like “look, research shows that you should not create a fish child nor should you get involved with an extremely dangerous demonic entity” and Gourdie was like “screw you man I can do whatever I want.” As people they still loved each other but boy is it hard to stay together when your significant other worships a being that your studies have shown is Very Bad and she doesn’t believe you!!! Another issue was putters. yall remember putters? Putters was Gourdie’s dog. Pumpkin daddy absolutely despised putters. I won’t go too into putters because she really isn’t important but yeah. Putters would live in the floorboards and screw things up. She also had eyes that pumpkin daddy thought were incredibly frightening. I’m actually really pissed off because I wrote a poem about putters from pumpkin daddy’s perspective at a writing camp and at the end of the week they were SUPPOSED to send out the finished book containing all the work, but I haven’t gotten it yet. And it was supposed to come in early September and it’s almost November now. Screw you unnamed writing class I can’t say the name of without doxxing myself. So who knows if I’ll ever see it. Very unfortunate because even though the poem itself was kinda crappy I still loved it, and I don’t have a physical copy of it. I can only hold out hope someday I’ll see it again…anyway

The final straw was when pumpkin daddy decided to buy the island they lived on. She was incredibly pissed off by that and they split up. Did pumpkin daddy end up buying the island? YYYYUUUPPP. the former island owner was a total pushover and pumpkin daddy basically just waltzed in and demanded the island and the old owner was just like, yeah sure dude go wild. And thus he bought the island (when Gourdie found out about it she was INCREDIBLY pissed off and started a clan out of pure pettiness, but I’ve talked about all that before). And thus Fincg island was born. He made a typo while typing out the official name, whoops. Don’t ask me how fincg is even pronounced cause I dunno.

As Extra grew up, they became VERY resentful of pumpkin daddy. Pumpkin daddy was a legitimately good father but Extra had to deal with the fact that their head was a fucking gourd because of him and they were incredibly ashamed of that to say the least. Basically they hated pumpkin daddy for creating them because WHY WOULD YOU PROCREATE WHEN THERE WAS THE CHANCE YOUR CHILD WOULD BE A PUMPKIN. so extra went to live with Gourdie until they could move out entirely.

Around this time, pumpkin daddy developed the Patch. I got a post or two delving more into that if you want to waste more time reading through my nonsense, but yup he discovered how to create customized life forms and growing them like they’re trees or somethin. Why he did it in the first place? Excellent question!! I have no idea!! Probably for the same reason he bought an entire island, out of pure curiosity if he could. Alas he never considered if he should. That or it came from that fact that he always wanted to be able to asexually reproduce like fungi. Oh to be a mushroom, spreading spores everywhere….anyhoo, somehow for a first attempt he did a pretty good job at doing the seemingly impossible, and on October 31st whatever-year-it-was he harvested the first hybrid, whom he named Fina. He loved Fina SO MUCH. he made hundreds of hybrids over the years but Fina was always his obvious favorite, she was basically his new child now that extra absolutely hated him. But things did not stay well with Fina!!! She ended up falling in a vat of what is called TBYTF gel (again I’ve yapped abt this before but for a summary! It is the excretions of TBYTF, and being in it for too long causes one to permanently be in a state of semi-influence from tbytf. This is called being an “arm” as they’re essentially now a mini version of tbytf). Pumpkin daddy fell in as well because he’s an idiot and has a tendency to fall into large vats of liquid, but he got out before he sustained any permanent damage. He managed to get Fina out after a couple minutes and she was seemingly fine aside from slight hypothermia, but YIKES!!! SHE WAS NOT FINE nobody knew right away because there was no research into that type of thing at the time, but you guessed it, she was an arm of tbytf now!!! Unfortunately pumpkin daddy was completely oblivious to the fact and even when many years later it was brought up like “your child is probably going to kill someone” he was like like nooo not her!! she’s so awesome she wouldn’t do that, why would you even think of that :(

MOVING ON there were no major events for a bit, at least ones that would fit here in this brief timeline. Mostly just the beginning of traditions, conflicts starting to arise, etc etc etc. Clan tension was already brewing as one of the clan leaders sorta went off the deep end and fell in love with a sentient eyeball which resulted in her ripping out one of pumpkin daddy’s eyes. But he was fiiiiiine. Also around that time, he and Gourdie got back together!!! Briefly!!! For a while it was on and off but yeah he managed to convince her that he wasn’t completely incompetent. Good for him. Whilst they were back together, Bellona decided to move back home, meaning they’d proooobably never see each other again. Gourdie was heartbroken and pumpkin daddy was…somewhere in between sad and indifferent. Either way they all spent the next couple months hanging out together (simple way of saying they almost got arrested in paris). But yes she eventually moved back home and life continued on as normal, just without someone to constantly torment 😔

Again, nothing too major around this time, things mostly calmed down (at least for pumpkin daddy) and things became stagnant for a few years. On and off relationship with Gourdie, new hybrids being made each year, trying to prevent civil war from breaking out, being a complete menace to society, such things like that. He also might’ve kidnapped two people and ripped their eyes out but he apologized so it’s ok (NO IT’S NOT). Political unrest was brewing. Obviously, there was the unending tension between the clans—especially between he and the Ramsay clan, as they were constantly in controversy, and they were put in charge of his old TBYTF-studying group and they were running it straight into the ground—but there was an overall consensus towards pumpkin daddy that “yeah this guy is wack, he needs to go.” This sentiment was founded by one of his own hybrids, that being one named Mercury. Mercury was tampered with by Fina while he was being created. Fina turned mercury against pumpkin daddy, mostly by convincing him that pumpkin daddy was the one who screwed him up while he was being created (sort of harkens back to extra and the whole “father, why the fuck did you create me” kind of thing) and mercury went on to lead a campaign to get pumpkin daddy publicly executed. Put a bounty on him and riled up the people to capture him and hang him. People were slow to accept this but they soon agreed with mercury’s sentiment (especially those in rivaling clans) and there was a nationwide competition to find and hang pumpkin daddy. Mercury eventually realized that Fina was completely lying to him, and despite still being against pumpkin daddy he attempted to quell the mob. It was too late though, and soon many were after the fame and reverence that would come with being the one to capture this monster. They never did, of course, turns out he’s incredibly good at escaping, but the point remains that there was a huge amount of people actively trying to kill him.

He tried, and mostly failed, to patch things up to avoid complete war breaking out, but things were looking grim.

Firstly there was a consensus between the clans that yeah, the Ramsay clan needs to go, so they mutually decided to revoke its status as a clan, and bomb the headquarters for good measure. The Ramsay clan was NOT happy about this, and to make things worse, the other clans began to get upset as they realized more than ever before that pumpkin daddy was just in general absolutely screwing everything up. Pretty much everything was falling apart at the seams after years of keeping it together with duct tape and a prayer. Tensions were at an all time high, huge companies were falling, all that fun stuff. During this time a prominent member of a rivaling clan mistakenly ended up in the alcoves and was utterly traumatized by it! Turns out the alcoves are extremely dangerous if you don’t know where you’re going and pumpkin daddy pretty much just watched like “idk what to tell you man” as this poor guy tried and failed to escape over and over. Didn’t end on a bad note though, as pumpkin daddy eventually stopped just watching the guy flail around and nearly get killed and decided to help him. He didn’t help him get out, mind you, he just helped him not feel ashamed for being dyslexic but HELP IS HELP. the two were thusly on good terms which was NOT helping the situation considering they were supposed to be sworn enemies. After a bit more fighting and raiding places because some butterfly-freaks stole precious artifacts, and other plot points I legitimately forgot about because they never went anywhere, whoops, it was decided that the pumpkin clan and fish clan would merge in an attempt to smooth out issues. This did the opposite!!! Long story short the one guy who was holding everything together was killed and all out war broke out, and pumpkin daddy and Gourdie’s relationship fell apart once again after a decade of being on good terms. Whoops!!! Very bad timing too, as it was right before the harvest festival, a week long celebration starting on October 31st. Incidentally, he did actually did get captured during this time and was about to be hung, but the person who captured him was a good friend of the guy who died and she was so broken up about it she didn’t have it in her to, you know, execute him. So he lucked out there. In fact he managed to befriend her (maybe not befriend, more so she lost the only friend she had so eh why not cling to this weirdo who’s trying to help me through my grief) so he was off the hook once again.

It soon became very apparent though that pumpkin daddy had zero idea what he was doing and was just making things worse, so Bellona, who heard of all the shit going on, decided to go back and try to knock some sense into him because CLEARLY he was not handling things well in the slightest. This was a terrible idea!!! Uh oh!!! When she went back there she was recognized as being affiliated with pumpkin daddy and was killed. Whoops!!! The news of course reached pumpkin daddy and Gourdie (AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE JOKES IN IT ALL HAPPENED AT THIS POINT BUT THE JOKE DOESNT MAKE SENSE ANYMORE BECAUSE I HAD TO CHANGE SOME STUFF AROUND NOOOOO RIP TO THE JOKE ABOUT COOKIES AND CREMATED REMAINS, YOU WERE A REAL ONE) and that absolutely screwed up pumpkin daddy. The illegal crab restaurant was also discovered and was reported, being burnt down and the owner was arrested. That was probably for the best though, that guy was a bit of a jerk. But again THAT didn’t help things at all cause now his precious crab restaurant was gone. At least he still had the harvest festival right!!!???

Uh wrong!!! Due to Fina being a little shit, the patch was completely destroyed and a hybrid he had who reminded him of Bellona was killed in the process and uhhhh yikes he did not take it well!!! He still had to put on a show while he was pretty much dead inside and it was quite uncomfortable for everyone!!! He pretty much lost literally everything he had in like a week so yeah he was not having a good time! But there was one glimmer of hope! Sort of!

Yeees that’s right, the negotiations. It was decided upon that the clans (mainly the pumpkin and jørgan clan) would come together in unity as a last ditch effort to stop the war. It would all be one big happy celebration, except it wouldn’t, because it also doubled as a funeral for some of the people who died. Still though, some were hoping it would ease things and life could go back to normal

You guessed it, it did not!! Extra heard of all this and, despite still being on rough terms, decided to go to the negotiations. Not to celebrate or anything, to warn pumpkin daddy that Fina is absolutely trying to kill him, and to try to tell Gourdie to please stop denying that tbytf is bad, it’s obvious to everyone. He mostly knew of fina’s antics due to befriending some of the hybrids and they were like “yeah she’s kinda suspicious.” So he reluctantly went off to be the bearer of bad news, because he could tell things were coming to a head and things werent gonna end well. And he was pretty much spot on, pumpkin daddy barely got to do anything at the negotiations before Fina trapped him in a catatonic illusion and stashed him in a bathroom stall! Catatonic illusions are, as I’ve explained before, basically being dead to the world and stuck in some hellish illusion in your mind. So pumpkin daddy was stuck in one for like, 3 weeks? The illusion mainly consisted of these acid-trip-like experiences with Christmas music and snoopy and Roman soldiers but that’s not really important right now. Outside of the illusion, everyone was incredibly confused on where he went and growing very impatient because they couldn’t start without him. How did nobody find him? Well they did, actually. Extra did, to be more specific. But nobody believed him because by that point they had gone full on lord of the flies and were more interested in creating child fighting tournaments than listening to him. So extra did the only logical thing to do and slapped the shit out of pumpkin daddy. This of course worked, and he managed to explain the situation. This is a very inaccurate way of describing it but in my defense, this was one of the longest sections of it, and when I looked back at my notes to see what I had for this part I had almost the entire script for it soooo I’m not gonna write it all out.

Point is, pumpkin daddy was passed out in the bathroom for weeks while everyone else was fighting to the death. But anyhoo, once he was awake (and extremely disoriented) Gourdie and Extra (mostly Gourdie) decided it was a probably bad idea to tell him Fina was…the way she was immediately after he woke up, so they decided to let the matter go for just long enough for him to get his bearings. That plan fell through though, because of course it did, because the second they looked away from him for one second, pumpkin daddy had vanished. Fina of course took the opportunity to put him in another illusion (she didn’t have the power to do another catatonic illusion so now he was on the loose and not knowing what the fuck is going on). The negotiations begun and, to prevent Gourdie from helping pumpkin daddy, she sicced her army of trained squirrels on her and disappeared.

SO UH things were not going well!!! Pumpkin daddy was looking everywhere for Fina, climbing on the ceiling like a spider monkey, all while also hallucinating that snoopy was mauling everyone. Everything pretty much went to shit at this point and nobody had any idea what was going on. Pumpkin daddy was on the loose screaming about snoopy, extra was trying to calm him down and explain the situation, Gourdie was gravely injured and trying to figure out what the hell to do, and Fina was trying to convince pumpkin daddy everything was totally fine. He eventually snapped out of his illusion though and was, once again, very disoriented and attacking people. Nevertheless, the negotiations went on. But right as they were about to be finalized, he made a grave mistake.

He coughed on the cake. Yes, that’s right, Fina had a cake for the celebration (what better time than a funeral to have a sugary confection?). A wonderful cake, custom made by only the best bakers. And in pumpkin daddy’s ill, confused stupor, he coughed on it. For whatever reason, this is what pushed Fina over the edge. She completely snapped and let go of any facade of being this innocent confused hybrid, shoved him against a wall, took off her heels and threatened to slit his throat with them. It all clicked in an instant as to what was going on for pumpkin daddy, but he couldn’t get himself to fight back. Extra and Gourdie (and one other guy who I haven’t really mentioned yet) successfully restrained her, while everyone else was still in fighting-tournament-mode and were making bets on who’d win. While everyone was fighting, fires and mudslides came in and resulted in everything being somehow even worse (long story there, just go with it. There are fires and mudslides).

Once the dust cleared, pumpkin daddy was just…gone. Completely vanished. All that he left in his wake was a small book with some writings in it and a cryptic email. But what actually happened to him, nobody knows. It’s unlikely he’s dead as no body was ever recovered despite months of searching. So uh. Who knows what the hell happened to him? Gourdie led multiple attempts to find him but again, he just never turned up. Over the next few months the island was renamed, the clans disbanded…pretty much any mark he left was gone, yet his legacy is still painfully lingering everywhere.

Definitely not somewhat inspired by song lyrics hahahaha speaking of which have I ever mentioned how much I love the song can’t catch me now (YES I HAVE) I think I should talk about it more (NO I SHOULDN’T) ANYHOOOOOO that’s the basic timeline. This turned out way longer than I expected so I won’t be able to go over as many miscellaneous details as I’d like to. Eh. Maybe sometime else. But for now:

•HE’S SCARED OF GLOVES!!! Nobody knows why despite numerous attempts to find out or to get rid of the fear entirely. It’s not just WEARING gloves that’s terrifying, being in the mere vicinity of one is terrifying. This applies to all gloves of all kinds (with one singular exception who I will get to soon). This aversion to gloves results in, predictably, him getting frostbite a lot as he lives in a colder environment, which earned him the nickname “the frostbite maestro.” He has somehow avoided any serious cold-related injuries. He just has excellent plot armor in that regard I suppose. The worst glove of them all is Hamlet, a demonically possessed, foul smelling ski glove who tormented pumpkin daddy by making his life hell and then laying completely still when he would try to show Hamlet’s sentience to anyone. So basically, hamlet gaslit everyone into thinking pumpkin daddy had gone completely nuts. Hamlet was eventually thrown into a fireplace to burn, but his smelly ghost remains. The BEST glove, on the other hand, is Lucretius the magic nitrile glove!!!

Nobody exactly knows why pumpkin daddy sees Lucretius as the one “good” glove. Most likely it’s because he first saw Lucretius while high off his ass on anesthesia but again, who knows. Either way, Lucretius is an allegedly magical glove who is a simple blue nitrile glove with a mustache and bow tie drawn on. Luckily, for you Lucretius lovers out there, I have a visual representation:

Real life Lucretius, I love him so much. Anywayyyyyy Lucretius is the one “good” glove. Pumpkin daddy loved him. I say LOVED because Lucretius met an unfortunate fate as he was eaten by a woodpecker, dubbed Mr woodpecker. Fortunately, Lucretius was rescued, as pumpkin daddy tracked down the woodpecker and killed him (and maaaaybe ate him afterwards but that could’ve just been an empty threat) and saved Lucretius, though Lucretius was heavily damaged in the incident. Lucretius soon got a “replacement” (nothing could truly replace Lucretius, but pumpkin daddy found a second glove similar enough to Lucretius that he found it somewhat tolerable to be around, so it was Lucretius’s spiritual successor) but that replacement was once again stolen by a woodpecker, assumedly the previous woodpecker’s wife, Mrs woodpecker. The replacement was, again, rescued, but Mrs. Woodpecker’s fate is unknown. Alas, no other gloves have been tolerable to pumpkin daddy, something he is very harsh in letting it be known. like he called someone a sadist for knitting gloves. Although he could probably outlaw gloves all together he for some reason keeps them legal (what a good leader) but insists they stay far away from him and that the word “glove” be censored in the media.

• He has way too many pets. Like an absurd amount. Yet somehow he still manages to take care of all of them. Most likely he has the hybrids help him with all of them. For one, theres a herd of llamas. He uses their fur to knit sweaters and scarves. There’s a fox who’s name I can’t remember, and a second fox who’s brown. There’s Derrick and Didi the deer who he’s more so sworn enemies with, and their reindeer cousin. There’s a spider, a ladybug (deceased), a bumblebee named stove (also deceased), a black cat, a chickadee, some fish, some other miscellaneous birds, some turtles (whom he ended up giving away), and probably some others I’m forgetting. His favorite pets by far are his mice. When they die he puts them in a MAUSoleum (AHAHAHHAAHAHHA). His favorite mouse, Dinkles, was tragically killed by an evil home improvement company. But yeah he likes mice.

• He has an abnormally low body temperature?? I don’t remember what it was exactly, I think like 95 F? Point is he is extremely sensitive to any form of heat and will be downright inconsolable if it’s above 70 F. Extra is a weatherman and he specifically told them to issue warnings if it’s going to be over 70 degrees. Speaking of medical mysteries he has a plethora of them. Well maybe not mysteries per se but MAN having a gourd for a head is the least of his concerns!! He has low iron levels, low copper levels, arrhythmia, mild hyperhidrosis, severe allergies to horses, turkey, and strawberries, he has had thousands of mini-strokes, probably a heart attack, and a brain aneurysm. What is wrong with him. How is he still alive. Fun fact about the brain aneurysm though, that part actually came from the comic I sent to the author themself! They said it was funny so I can rest at night knowing that the very creator of pumpkin daddy approves of him having a brain aneurysm! And the panel where that was said I put a pikmin in the background. Idk just a random fact lmao

• HE’S SCARED OF KING ARTHUR. LIKE SO SCARED. UNREASONABLY SCARED. like with the gloves, nobody knows why. He always says he’ll explain and he never does. Whatever the reason, he cannot handle knights, royalty, and worst of all, round tables. He sincerely believes that King Arthur is real and that he’s coming after him. It’s easy to write it off as an irrational fear, but king Arthur’s sword was discovered alongside some stolen artifacts some freakish butterfly people stole, so……could have some merit to it. But yeah you can’t even mention King Arthur around him without him crying.

• He hates the number four!!! It’s his unlucky number, or so he says. It all stemmed from when he, in an attempt to reconnect with his son, played a game of Yahtzee with extra. He lost by four points and has never been the same since. The number four haunts him. He cannot stand it. SHAKES YOU AROUND VIOLENTLY. HEY. HEY. LISTEN. have you ever noticed I draw ears inconsistently? if you look at em, different characters have different numbers in their ears….yeah….you can easily disguise them in there….pumpkin daddy has a four. Idk. that’s unimportant I just want to draw attention to it because I spend way too much time thinking if a number to associate with a character.

• He has bugs in his cardiovascular system. He’s not the only one.

• Despite following his tightrope morality as he calls it (perfectly balancing good and bad thinking it’ll “even things out”) he does have the occasional moment of actual regret. Notably, he once stole a little penguin’s snow tube and was so wracked with guilt that he gave it back and didn’t show his face for like a week. He’s not a bad guy, really, he’s just…well ok he is

• He feels the need to do morning announcements every day like he’s Isabelle from animal crossing or something. Somehow his announcements are even worse than Isabelle’s as half the time something goes wrong and he almost gets himself killed somehow. They all follow the exact script yet somehow no script at all.

• There’s a gaggle of insects who harass him incessantly. Mostly consists of a bunch of mosquitoes. At first he hated them so much that he tried inhaling insecticides to rid of them (spoiler alert, did not work) but eventually he grew fond of them. The bugs are now his therapists.

• HE’S OBSESSED WITH TIME. LIKE SO OBSESSED. To the point where it is unhealthy. The reason he has managed to do so much is that he spends every waking moment doing Something because he’s terrified of wasting time. He trained himself to specifically fall asleep at 2 am and get up at 6 for the least amount of time wasted possible. He has it down to a science. Very literally in fact, he’s developed multiple time theories and ways of measuring time. He also unsurprisingly owns a lot of custom made clocks. Point is, the guy likes time maybe a little too much. He capitalizes Time in every sentence (like that) because he thinks it’s of upmost importance. He should probably chill out a little. Fun fact, I made his birthday September 17th because it is apparently “times up day” which is fitting because with every passing year he is very literally running out of time. patting myself on the back for that one, that was a lucky coincidence actually because I randomly declared his birthday as September 16th before I knew that so I just had to move it up a day. Anyway

• He’s really into astrology and stuff for some reason. Wholeheartedly believes in it to the point where he lets it dictate his opinion on things even if it goes against what he actually feels. He also was formerly friends with a genie named greenie who made his life hell but disguised it as sage genie advice. Greenie knew just how to make him tick, he’s a complete menace. After years of believing greenie’s every word, pumpkin daddy caught on and brokenheartedly cut greenie off and stopped believing in horoscopes. Woe.

• Garfield once stole his lasagna when he was lost in the mountains, which led to him almost starving to death. He was so upset over this that he and Bellona went on a campaign to kill Garfield. She really didn’t want to but he was adamant Garfield had to pay. It’s really not important to anything I just bring it up because I once made lyrics for a song going over the situation and I giggle whenever I think about the line “Belle, this cat is straight from hell”

He pretty much runs the radio industry , among…lots of other things. He has a monopoly on almost every industry. But when specifically discussing the radio—he had a radio show called FincgLIVE that was a complete fucking disaster. He was overtired the entire time and purposefully spread misinformation like how you should “wash your hamburger meat with soap and water to get all the little maggots out.” He absolutely hated doing it but felt the need to continue it anyway. He eventually quit when his roof caved in live on air and he went on a total tirade while trapped under a bunch of rubble. After that he gave up entirely and just gave the show to his secretary, who actually enjoyed hosting it, so happy ending I guess.

HE’S A COMPLETE PYROMANIAC!!! SOMEONE STOP HIM he has lit so many fires for absolutely no reason. He once burnt down a historic hotel because he was bored. Why is he like this. Somehow he only got hurt from it once and even after that he didn’t stop. If sirens sound, it is a 50/50 chance he lit something on fire again. Somehow he has never injured anyone in the process which is a miracle. It’s not his fault that things are just so flammable, they’re practically begging to be lit aflame :(

That is all for now. if you have somehow read this far uh. thanks?. uuhuhrhhhbghgghgh

[onwhatcaptain]

hi i didn’t know what Star Trek was until i came across your fic it’s so. Real. poor McCoy bruh nobody’s gonna know what he went through …I guess it’s not entirely gone, but still. He didn’t get the three socks metaphor.

YOU TRICKED ME. canon divergent LIEEE LIEEEE

The way you omit time travel as a tag is craaazyy (I love time travel) AND AND THE SUNMARY BEING

“About men who love each other” LIKE NOT TWO MEN but all THREE

I do have one question though. If McCoy said “tell him you missed him” and set up the holo night, then in the first timeline had McCoy already gone back at that point and failed?

Hi! So I saw your comment on AO3 (please forgive me if it takes a moment to reply, I have an enormous backlog of comments to get around to after I took a break when the fic ended!) and I knew I absolutely had to ask you these burning questions: how did you find my fic if you didn't know what Star Trek was? What inspired you to read it?

I am beyond thrilled that you enjoyed the story and so touched that you read it all the way through without having seen Star Trek, but I absolutely have to ask what the story behind this is if you're willing to share with me!

It's definitely still canon divergent in a sort of way! At least in my figurative and literal book if you know the episode that inspired this novel, it would definitely be considered divergent:) I wanted to keep things as spoiler-free as possible to retain the surprise and emotional weight of the story, so I made the decision early on to not tag where the plot or ending was going, which definitely threw a lot of people off! Sorry for the trickery!

I ADORE that you pointed out the summary. I was actually shocked when I was reading this ask, because it was absolutely intentional and a huge part of the foreshadowing, but you're the only reader to my knowledge that has consciously noticed that choice, and you haven't even seen Star Trek!! Amazing!! I have such a big smile on my face right now!

More below because I realize this is getting long already!

As for poor McCoy, it is truly tragic nobody will know what he went through. In Star Trek, a lot of fans (rightfully) emphasize the love between Kirk and Spock, which I feel is only kept alive because of McCoy's quiet love for them both in the background as he takes care of them. In a way, it's a tribute to love that goes unnoticed, unseen.

With regards to your question, it's a great question! And I don't have a perfect answer for it, because it's entirely paradoxical. The first half of the story can only happen if the second half happens, because Kirk and Spock would not act on their feelings without the existence of the holo night and McCoy's intervention. But in the original timeline, they still die even though McCoy's actions in the latter half of the novel seem to exist. It's totally circular. It's expounded on somewhat in Forever and a Day, where McCoy tries to make sense of the same question and concludes that even if he does succeed, they will still die.

McCoy tries not to think about the horrifying implications. The knowledge that no matter what he did, he could not undo their deaths. To live, they would always need to die.

This doesn't necessarily mean that McCoy has gone back before, but it raise some serious questions about metaphysics and leaves a lot unanswered, because the two events now cause each other, and they also contradict each other. I actually took a stab at explaining the metaphysics in way greater detail in the fic originally, but my beta reader (correctly) told me this would confuse readers. So because it's confusing, I later just wave my sci-fi authorial wand to try and convince you to go along with it! :)

"And I like how the paradox makes no sense.” “I reckon it’s not meant to. They never do."

I do have to say, I recommend giving Star Trek a watch if you were interested! I think it's an amazing show. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read a whole novel about a show you had no idea about!!

[cephalofrog]

finished reading monstrous regiment

they weren't kidding that book can queer rep

spoilers below cut ofc

I kinda already knew about like... a queer relationship + trans character existing in the book but it still kinda caught me off guard - like I guess I shouldn't assume stuff to be generic from terry pratchett but I didn't know anything about jackrum aside from him being trans going in and it caught me off guard just how damn GOOD a character he is.

I'll admit I wasn't even certain that he was the trans character for a lot of the narrative, like I thought I maybe misremembered the posts or something cause surely the fat, extremely skilled, morally grey man with a lot of PTSD but who clearly cares deep down isn't actually gonna turn out to be a trans man right cause no one would write a trans character THAT interesting and good in 2003 and god dammit I underestimated terry pratchett so much. I am a fool.

the fact that he's like. no I don't want to reunite with my kid + grandchildren cause I can't stand the thought of just being their old granny cause he can't imagine a life for himself where he can exist as a man outside of needing to do so to survive then to have polly suggest it, giving him a new idea, letting him let go of not only the dangerous life of existing in the army but also giving him permission to himself to exist as someone's grandfather?? as a man, not because he has to, but because he wants to??????

god that final conversation between polly and jackrum is fucking perfect. I'll admit I need to consume more media centering trans narratives cause I don't really have a comparison point but it feels like the first piece of media I've ever consumed that honestly reflects how I feel about being trans. you don't need permission or a logical reason to exist a certain way - you're allowed to exist in a certain way just because you want to exist that way.

it's super impressive how deconstructive the book is - like it makes me wonder whether terry pratchett learned about queer theory prior to writing the book or whether he just developed the way that the book talks about gender of his own accord cause the entire damn plot hinges on the fact that gender is socially constructed and fully based upon perception. people see the characters as men, they treat them as men, and so they are men. the entire concept of men and women having some impossible-to-overcome differences is questioned, stereotypes are introduced and then used to disprove themselves.

I think the only thing that the book kinda dropped the ball on was maladicta's character - she gets a lot of focus and is super cool and likeable in the first half but I feel like she gets left behind a bit after running out of coffee, and I do wish there had been a more interesting conclusion to her being the last of the regiment to be confirmed as female (since we all kinda knew it was coming but for some reason it takes a long time to get around to it with no real reason since everyone knows everyone else is a girl at that point).

I'm glad polly and maladicta end up leaving on the boat together though. (they kiss after the book ends, terry pratchett appeared in my dream last night and confirmed it as canon)

[withacapitalp]

How come "books are books, shows are shows, do whatever you want w characters" doesn't apply to B*lly? Not trying to start drama, just genuinely want to understand. Is it because he's a bad guy I can't reshape him into something I'd like and ignore what's "canon?"

Oh boy Nonnie okay I'll try to be really clear but it probably won't come out super legible. I'm putting it under a read more because I don't wanna clog up my dash w a long explanation (which knowing me it's going to end up being) I also want to say that all of this is MY opinion. I'm no one's ultimate judge, I'm just a guy on the internet who writes stories.

All that to say, this is why I think that fundamentally the idea that Eddie's sexuality and Billy's racism can be manipulated in fandom on the same level is really flawed.

Overall I think that the point of fan fiction is personal enjoyment. Ultimately you're creating something with yourself as the audience in mind. If not, then I don't really get it. So, for you, maybe it can mean that. Do I personally agree? No, but I can't stop anyone from creating something and putting it online. That's the whole point of ao3, no bars, no barriers. When you start putting that kind of wall in place, a slippery slope starts to form, so even if I would never personally partake in some forms of fanfic, I get why it's important to have a place where any kind of fic can exist. Back button exists for a reason, block button exists for a reason, curate your own online experience.

I'm not gonna be the person who says like if you like Billy you're a garbage person, because like that just isn't true? The two aren't automatically associated. Do I think that people who want to erase that part of Billy should maybe examine that urge? Yeah, but I think we all need to look inside and see where systematic racism might make us think things are more acceptable than they should be. I also can't understand people who want to give Vecna a redemption arc, or the people who think Sn*pe was just misunderstood. Regardless, we're all works in progress, and 90% of people to me are capable of learning more and growing and seeing where they might be working with a bias. I know I definitely have my own too.

I personally just will not give him redemption of any form or reshape him, because to do so seems to be disrespectful from my point of view to real life people. I'm not a person of color, Billy's racism is at the forefront of his character, so for me to reshape that and erase it in a fanfic feels like I would be ignoring a serious thing and pretending like that never happened, when it exists in our society in a major way. There isn't a point where Billy's racism ever gets resolved. In fact, the whole thing gets dropped completely in s3 which seems like a really terrible oversight by the Duffers. It's used as a plot point when it was convenient, which is messy and wrong.

But All of that is just background to your real question here which I believe is this-

Why is it okay to change a character's sexuality, but not their bigotry?

For me, I don't really like to equate the two? I think that the idea that someone's sexuality is a 'flaw' that needs to be reshaped is kinda problematic, and we also don't actually know Eddie's sexuality. Everyone can say what they think till the cows come home, but at no point did we get 'Eddie is confirmed gay, straight, bi, etc. etc.' EVERY single interpretation of Eddie's sexuality is someone shaping canon as they see fit right now.

With Billy he is confirmed racist. He is 100% undoubtedly a racist. Not even someone who used to be racist who learned and repented. He was always racist and tried to commit a hate crime against Lucas (I would argue that he did, because holding a twelve year old up against a wall and threatening to kill them because they're black and they dared to want to get to know your sister feels like a hate crime to me) The only reason he didn't seriously hurt Lucas was the fact that Steve stepped in. That's it. He was going to assault a child for his race.

To compare ignoring that to playing with a character's sexuality feels....mm I just strongly don't agree. I don't exactly have words to explain, but I really don't.

I think there are things you can change about characters easily. You can change their sexualities, their ages, their genders, their backstories, but to fundamentally erase something like that just doesn't line up for me.

No call out here Nonnie, I appreciate that you wanted to ask and be open, but this is my question for people who want to change Billy that way- What is it about Billy that is so compelling that it feels necessary to change that part of him? Why is Billy the character you *need* to write for?

Jonathan is a fantastic big brother who has a ton of issues and was abused by his father. If you're having the hankering to try and examine a flawed big brother, he's right there.

Eddie is an outcast (and strongly implied that he comes from an abusive home) and if you're looking to try and write about that, he's right there.

Steve is the character that has actually GONE through the redemption people always try to give Billy. He said slurs and did bad things, and almost immediately went to make amends for them when he was able to acknowledge he did the wrong thing.

Billy never even apologized. He hadn't changed by the time he died, and no I don't think sacrificing himself was some major change. I think that a villain can be tragic without needing to retroactively make them a better person. Billy is a flawed and broken person. Yes that probably relates mostly to the way he was raised and the fact that his family was violent, but that doesn't excuse it. The Byers have an abusive home, and at no point does Jonathan act the way Billy does. I think they're really good foils to each other on what can happen with a big brother.

Anyways this was a really really long answer nonnie, but I hope I got it across why I really disagree with that stance. If anyone was offended or upset, know that wasn't my intenion, and feel free to let me know.

[approximateknowledge]

who is sister hindsight?

this is gonna be a long one

so there's this scifi book trilogy called "final architecture" which i *highly* recommend

it's full of weird novel concepts and cool future tech and aliens that feel properly alien, among many other things

but there's one character my mind has fixated on within this sprawling setting, who never actually existed

and to explain who they are ill need to spoil quite a lot of the main plot

so with that said: massive spoilers for all 3 final architecture books ahead

so first off:

SETTING

most species here aren't too relevant to explain what's going on, so ill be focusing on just the relevant ones (so no hivers sadly)

-humanity

-the architects

-the originators

-the hegemony

-the naeromathi

HUMANITY

humanity in the final architecture is a bit of a splintered mess. officially most of it is centralised under the "bureau of human interests" (usually just called "hugh") centered on berlenhof, one of the most populous colonies left after earth got "architected" (more on that later)

in practice hugh holds about as much influence as the HRE did, with quasi-noble corporate houses and independent systems abounding; it's a bureaucratic mess but it's still better than nothing

of course this isn't actually the whole story, because there's also

the parthenon

the parthenon (often derisively known as "pathos" by colonial humanity) is a female-only habitat-bound offshoot of humanity that fully committed to artificial reproduction

crucially they're *not* clones (although they tend to have a certain "look" that gives them away when trying to pass as a colonial), though they are without a doubt eugenicist as hell. their origins are... iffy to put it lightly, but historically they have been on the side of humanity at large, and their technological level has remained slighty above that of colonial humanity. it's complicated but handled well

what the parthenon doesn't have are intermediaries

what are intermediaries?

well, they're relevant for

THE ARCHITECTS

an architect is a moon-sized intelligent crystalline superobject that is capable of completeky reshaping a planet through gravitic torsion in a matter of hours

they can appear from unspace (ill get to it) at a moment's notice and completely obliterate everything in the system they find

crucially they are in fact sentient beings, if unfathomably vast

an intermediary is someone who's able to communicate directly with an architect. this is in fact how the first architect war ended. a group of intermediaries (1 natural, the rest surgically created) *made a single architect aware of their existence*

they didn't even notice anyone was there before

tangent:

unspace

unspace isn't a place but it is a shortcut, and within it you are always alone, except you aren't, because there's always a *presence* too. most of it is completely unnavigable, except for the throughways which act like currents between inhabited systems (they're inhabited because there's a throughway connection)

intermediaries as a side-effect of the architect-communicating were the only ones able to properly navigate unspace before the Eye was built(/scavenged and jury-rigged)

what's the eye?

well at its heart it's a piece of originator-tech

ORIGINATORS

the originators are the ones who "built the throughways" and left "ruins" on a number of planets at the connecting points. interestingly, any planet with an originator artefact on it is seemingly immune from architect-remodeling

all of the previous statements are technically false, but functionally they seem true. what the throughways really are is creases in the fabric of reality as it is change, and the "ruins" are the realspace reflections of the unspace anchors they built to bend said fabric

what the originators really are is the puppetmasters of the architects, rebuilding reality one thread at a time to be more similar to how the universe they came from was

they're terraforming the local laws of physics

now what's the Eye?

well it's a "lens" from unspace into realspace, but if you rig it right it also works the other way around. but crucially matter doesn't exist in unspace, so only the pattern of consciousness goes in to "look" (and the one looking will seem braindead until they come back) (this is relevant)

THE HEGEMONY

one of the 2 truly old alien cultures in the setting; the founding species of the hegemony are the essiel, 4m tall barnacle-looking sessile organisms with a psychological profile that borders on the incomprehensible, but is fundamentally benevolent. their main adaptation against the architect threat is the fact they figured out how to move originator artefacts through unspace without destroying it (normally impossible), which allows them to protect *all* of their colonies; a significant portion of humanity actually voluntarily became part of the hegemony!

THE NAEROMATHI

the other of the 2 ancient "conventionals", the naeromaths had a much rougher time in their early history, and have no planets to call their own; their entire culture consists of massive (half-moon) sized arks that periodically devour entire moons and rocky planets to build more arks (this gave them the nickname "locusts" among humans, even though they look more like if a plesiosaur evolved from a brittle star). the drone swarms used for this dismantling are also their main weaponry, on top of their massive gravitic engines that span the entire equator of their arks (multiple cooperating arks have been known to successfully tear architects apart)

the eye was discovered by a naeromath

SO

near the end of the story, 2 of the main characters dive into unspace via the eye

-idris: artificial intermediary, the surgeries made him unable to sleep or age. extremely frail, lost an arm, almost died like 6 times, his heart is kept going by cyborg roaches (it makes sense in context)

-solace: partheni myrmidon from the first architect war, fully committed to dying on the job

and they reach the center

and they confront the *other*, the thing in unspace, the metaphysical guard dog of the originators at the center of nowhere

and idris needs to go elsewhere in unspace, to prevent a genocide on slaves

and so solace is told to "hold"

this is about 30 pages from the end

i went to bed at this point

and my mind created hindsight

so first:

what happens in canon

idris succeeds, comes back, becomes one with the *other*, his body dies, unspace is safe, the guarddog becomes the jailer, they've won. solace returns after holding long enough

what happened in my mind

idris succeeds, and *can't get back in*, so solace keeps holding, but idris' body still dies. so in the end, solace keeps holding, tames the *other*, unspace is safe, the guarddog guards the other way with a new master, who *holds*

solace *holds*

but remember what i said about consciousness and how it goes in alone? solace isn't coming back. but idris is. and there's still only one body

idris' mind comes back in solace's body. that's sister hindsight

idris comes back in the body of a parthenon soldier and at last falls asleep after over half a century. a mind that remembers being an intermediary but isn't anymore

sister hindsight

a colonial experiment who shouldve died long ago, now in the body of a parthenon vatborn woman, finally at peace.

solace holds, idris died, hindsight remembers.

and hindsight will sleep, and age, and die, at last, while solace holds

[nerdby]

So the new Deadpool & Wolverine trailer was released.

There have been some people saying that -- surprise, surprise -- the TVA is going to be a villain in the movie and I'm not sure why but they seem confused about why the TVA would be villains.

Peeps, the TVA are cops and they're probably the most accurate depiction of cops in the history of copaganda.

Like they spend the ENTIRE first season of Loki trying to kill a very obviously trans-coded Sylvie -- literally hunting her down to kill her. If y'all don't know nothing about that ya need to Google Trans While Walking laws in the US. It literally lets the cops arrest ANY trans people they think could be sex workers. New York was one of the first states to repeal the law in 2019. But it's not just Sylvie, the TVA is after -- they just straight up MURDER anyone who steps out of line in ANY timeline EVER.

And in season two they commit MASS GENOCIDE against hundreds of thousands of variants in branched timelines for no fucking reason. Just because they existed.

"Oh but Milo the thing was melting down--"

Yes, and that was proven to be a completely moot point because even after they fixed the thingamajig -- I forgot the name and I don't have Disney+ right now -- it STILL fucking melted down because of Kang bullshit.

"Oh but Milo remember when Loki became Yggdrasil?"

Yes, Milo remembers Loki becoming the God of stories and custodian of the multiverse. That's the actual term from the comics. It's not the same thing as being a janitor. Exactly....? Cause his job is kinda to just be there and make sure things don't get tangled up and fucked up so....Huh. Is Loki a janitor?🤔

Welp, I'm sure that'll offend some batshit fanperson somewhere.

You know what else Milo remembers?

When Loki went back and saved the bad cops who committed MASS GENOCIDE and recruited them to work for the TVA again. And also that by the end of the second season the TVA's job was to observe and intervene to prevent -- basically they're the fucking thought police. Literally.

They might be worse than the fucking cops -- the TVA might as well just be the Marvelverse version of the fucking CIA. TVA. CIA. Why am I just now noticing this?😶 Anyway, there are whole ass lists of history books -- nonfiction -- and documentaries about why the CIA are terrorists so....

But getting back to DP & Wolvey....

The second season of Loki was basically -- the plot was a metaphor for the importance of police reform, right? But here's the thing we need to remember about TVA agents: They're only humans. Some of whom are perfectly okay with committing widespread, mass genocide and I don't know if we're gonna see Loki in DP & Wolvey, but I feel like that Loki might maybe be sitting on his Yggdrasil throne going,

"Son of a bitch -- Sylvie was right. You people are just infuckingcapable of not being terrorists."

Hopefully cause I swear to fucking fuck if I have to see Loki defending the CIA -- even though he can be a little delusional at times so it wouldn't exactly be out of character -- I will just not be okay. I will set the fucking cinema on fire. Not really but I will fantasize about it🤣

And that's why I think we're gonna see them turn on Wade and Logan, though. Because the good eggs are just outnumbered by the bad eggs unfortunately. The TVA is gonna use Wade to do their dirty work and just be like

Anyway, I'm sorry my thoughts are kind of all over the place right now. I might be moving soon and I'm kinda manic right now. I don't know why I'm telling you that😂