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#it's gonna be a long six months
raetttriestowrite · 2 years
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Me, an author, side eyeing my WIP: you're not going to do anything weird, are you? We've discussed this. There's a plan. We're going to stick to the plan, aren't we?
The WIP: *presents subplot, presents additional conflicts, presents character development, laughs in my fucking face*
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curiositymemes · 6 months
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STICK SEASON: WE'LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER.
taken from the 2023 album by noah kahan. trigger warnings for mental illness, trauma, medication, references to suicide, and the exquisite agony of life in rural new england. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.
northern attitude.
how you been? 
you settled down?
you feelin’ right? 
you feelin’ proud?
you settle in to routine.
what does it mean? 
i’m not how you hoped.
you’re gettin’ lost.
scared to live, scared to die. 
you’re feelin’ lost.
stick season.
you must’ve had yourself a change of heart.
now i am stuck between my anger and the blame that i can’t face.
it’s half my fault, but i just like to play the victim. 
i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have but i did not lose. 
i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad. 
i miss the way you laugh.
you once called me forever now you still can’t call me back.
that’ll have to do.
my other half was you.
i hope this pain’s just passin’ through, but i doubt it. 
all my love.
how have things been?
well, love, now that you mention it.
i’m sayin’ too much, but you know how it gets out here.
now i know your name, but not who you are.
it’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.
you got all my love.
if you need me, dear, i’m the same as i was.
what i’d give to have you out of me.
i still recall how the leather in your car feels.
and at the end of it all, i just hope that your scars heal.
i swear i was scared to death.
i smiled stupid the whole way home.
you said, ‘i’ll never let you go.’
she calls me back.
there was heaven in your eyes. 
everything’s alright.
look at me and don’t you lie.
don’t you hold your head up high.
for bullshit, i do not have time.
do you lie awake restless?
why am i so obsessive?
this town’s the same as you left it.
the radio is taunting me.
i don’t get much sleep most nights.
i’m seeing you in every dream.
if only i could fall asleep. 
i’ll love you when the oceans dry. 
i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps.
come over.
it was there when we got here, will be there when we leave.
you won’t have to guess who they’re speakin’ about.
i’m in the process of clearin’ out cobwebs. 
i was takin’ the wrong meds; feels good to be sad.
my house is just barely big enough for my family.
my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.
i promise you, darlin’.
you won’t ever go back.
i know that it ain’t much.
i know that it ain’t cool.
you don’t have to tell the other kids at school.
someday i’m gonna be somebody people want.
new perspective.
makin’ me nostalgic.
we were kids; but that don’t make this less hard.
if i could fly i doubt i’d even do it. 
i’d probably get high and crash or somethin’ stupid.
gave me your word.
i can’t pronounce it.
no thing so sure that i can’t learn to doubt it.
everywhere, everything.
would we survive in a horror movie?
we trust everyone we meet.
we’re littered with scars from our preteens.
i wanna love you ‘til we’re food for the worms to eat.
‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours. 
i know every route in this county.
maybe that ain’t such a bad thing.
i’ll tell you where not to speed.
it’s been a long year.
orange juice.
honey, come over.
it’s yours if you want it.
we’re just glad you could visit. 
feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home for so long.
i didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone. 
why’d you go?
my heart has changed and my soul has changed.
you just asked me to hold you.
it made you a stranger and it filled you with anger.
my life has changed.
the world has changed.
don’t you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?
are we all just pullin’ you down?
strawberry wine.
darling, speak to me.
don’t you say a word.
you thought you were cursed?
i’m in love with every song you’ve ever heard.
if i could lose you, i would.
all the time we used to have.
the things i miss but know are never coming back. 
no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft.
growing sideways.
finally found some middle ground.
i said, ‘i’m cured.’
i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts.
i’m still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them.
it’s a start.
but i ignore things and i move sideways ‘til i forget what i felt in the first place.
i know there are worse ways to stay alive.
everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy.
if my engine works perfect on empty, i guess i’ll drive. 
i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high.
now i’m sufferin’ in style.
why is pain so damn impatient? ain’t like it’s got a place to be.
if all my time was wasted, i don’t mind. 
i’ll watch it go.
it’s better to die numb than feel it all.
halloween.
the dawn isn’t here, the sun hasn’t rose.
they got money to make and children back home.
i worry for you, you worry for me.
the bridges have long since been burnt. 
i’m leavin’ this town and i’m changin’ my address.
i know that you’ll come if you want.
i’m losin’ myself.
i’m seein’ my life on a screen.
i know that you fear that i’m wicked and weary.
i know that you’re fearin’ the end. 
i only tell the truth when i’m sure that i’m lyin’. 
homesick.
are you bored yet?
the weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic bullshit.
this place is such great motivation for anyone tryna move the fuck away from hibernation. 
time moves so damn slow i swear i feel my organs failing.
i stopped caring ‘bout a month ago, since then it’s been smooth sailing. 
i would leave if only i could find a reason. 
i got dreams, but i cant make myself believe them. 
i’ll spend the rest of my life with what could have been. 
i will die in the house that i grew up in.
i’m homesick. 
still.
i don’t wanna say goodbye.
it only falls into place when you’re fallin’ to pieces.
you miss something that you can’t place but you can’t deny it. 
you can’t stay here.
it’s hard to face and it feels too ugly.
it’s like i’m still here with you. 
can i fix what is broken?
the view between villages (extended). 
for a minute, the world seems so simple.
i am not scared of death.
i’ve got dreams again.
there is meanin’ on earth. 
i feel so far from it.
it’s all washin’ over me. 
i’m angry again. 
the things that i lost here, the people i knew.
they got me surrounded for a mile or two. 
i found a town big enough for anything i want.
i’m not a city girl, by any means.
it still has a lot of meaning to me.
i grew up there. 
your needs, my needs.
you ain’t gotta tell me what it means.
i promise to be there this time. alright? 
you were a work of art.
that’s the hardest part.
i’m naming the stars in the sky after you.
dial drunk.
i promised to forget you.
i ain’t takin’ any fault.
am i half the man i used to be? i doubt it.
forget about it, whatever.
it’s all the same anyways.
i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown. 
for the shame of being young, drunk, and alone.
i gave your name as my emergency phone call.
i’d die for you.
from charmin’ to alarmin’ in seconds.
i’ll let the pain metastasize.
i beg you, sir, just let me call.
let’s wait, i swear she’ll call me back.
son, are you a danger to yourself?
fuck that, sir.
son, why do you do this to yourself?
paul revere.
this place had a heartbeat in its day.
nothin’ was the same.
it just ain’t that simple, it never was.
one day i’m gonna cut it clear.
i’m not from around here.
i’ll leave before the road crew’s out. 
i’ll turn up the music and i’ll forget.
i’m not ready to let go yet.
i’ll just pretend i didn’t hear.
it’s typical, i fear.
folks just disappear.
if i could leave, i would’ve already left.
no complaints.
i thought i had something and that’s the same as having something.
i get mad at nothing.
i pull no punches, then feel bad for months.
thought i was raised better, tried to fake better.
now the weight of the world ain’t so bad.
i saw the end, it looks just like the middle.
i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication.
who am i to complain?
now the pain’s different. It still exists, it just escapes different.
yes, i’m young and living dreams.
i’m in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen.
call your mom.
oh, you’re spiralin’ again.
don’t you cancel any plans.
stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you let it out and let it in.
don’t let this darkness fool you.
i’ll drive all night.
i’ll call your mom.
oh, dear, don’t be discouraged.
i’ve been exactly where you are.
if you could see yourself like this.
you’dve never tried it.
stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you told me that you had to go.
throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason.
don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’.
won’t you stay with me?
you’re gonna go far. 
this is good land, or at least it was.
it takes a strong hand and a sound mind.
it makes me smile to know when things get hard, you’ll be far from here.
pack up your car.
put a hand to your heart.
say whatever you feel.
be wherever you are.
we ain’t angry at you, love. 
you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost.
the birds will still sing.
we’ll be waiting for you, love.
we’ll all be here forever.
we spent so long just getting by.
that’s the thing about survival; who the hell likes livin’ just to die?
you told me you would make a difference.
it won’t be by your own volition if you step foot outside this town.
it’s all we’ve had for always.
you’re gonna go far.
if you wanna go far, then you gotta go far.
forever.
let’s drive for no reason.
you look fine in the evening.
honey, it’s starting to storm.
used to wish i meant anything to anywhere, to anyone.
i’m glad i get forever to see where you end.
i won’t be alone for the rest of my life.
i’ll meet a girl in the heat of july.
i’ll tell her so she knows.
i’m broke, but i’m real rich in my head.
when i hold her close, i might loosen my grip, but i won’t ever let her go.
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nonconstories · 3 months
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Someone pissed me off a couple of days ago
So! Below are several links to programs and foundations that promote adult literacy! Hundreds of millions of adults world wide were failed by their education system and now must fend for themselves while trying to read contracts and hospital bills and infographics from the CDC. But they don't have to be alone, and it is never too late to learn!
ProLiteracy: A network of educators, researchers, and advocates which provides research reports, learning materials, and other support to adult education programs. They assist with connecting volunteers to local programs and provide guidance and support to community leaders trying to use their programs' findings to advocate for social and political change.
Adult Literacy League: An adult education program in Central Florida, which aims to provide students with one on one attention to foster growth and confidence. It also offers English Second Language courses and job skills training, and each new student receives a comprehensive assessment to determine the best plan for them.
Saint Vincent and Sarah Fisher Center's Foundational Skills Program: A 100% free adult education program aimed at adults reading below a fifth grade level. It operates year round and is either in person or remote, and they now have a GED testing center that is open to students and the public alike.
Washtenaw Literacy: A free network of trained tutors for adults in Washtenaw County, Michigan.
Adult Learning Program (Las Vegas/Clark County): Free education classes to those lacking a high school diploma, those seeking to learn ESL, and adults who read below an eighth grade level. Also assists in students' search for gainful employment. Nevada got so fucked by COVID and the education/literacy numbers in the South West are grim. Please help these guys.
Hawaii Literacy: In addition to helping adult residents of Hawaii Island learn to read and write AND bridging the education gap in Hawaii's underserved children, they offer computer literacy classes, ESL classes, and a bookmobile. 1 in 6 Hawaiian adults struggle to read and write.
#Not Stories#mutual aid#adult literacy#'uuhhhggg its soooo disappointing when i meet a girl who's like 'yeah omg i luv 2 read'#'and then she only reads booktok trash and grocery store thrillers and manga'#'like come on thats such a turn off :/'#'like aren't you bored??? what about reading The Foundation and War & Peace and Grapes of Wrath where's THAT girl haha'#nobody gives a shit what sort of high school reading list gets your dick stiff! NOBODY!#I'm too busy dealing with the fact that most public education systems hate students of color and anyone with a learning disability#from the very bottom of my very dyslexic heart go fuck yourself#'this chick only read 8 books in twelve months lmfao thats so pathetic'#'i read eight books a MONTH some people really give up after high school'#do you think my great grandfather or his father got to fucking finish high school????#or were they busy getting fucking shot at in germany in two different fucking wars????#thank every god you wanna name that my lunatic mother stopped abusing me long enough to put me through FIVE YEARS OF TUTORING#to get ME literate because that's what it fucking took#I watched more than one kid from my underserved semi rural district drop out at 17 or 16 or 15#because their parents needed a third paycheck or they were gonna lose the goddamn house#10% of my majority black school district graduated FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE and not an ounce of it was those kids' fault#our racist ass school district failed them and the district did NOT protect my white ass when I was diagnosed dyslexic#the adult literacy crisis is not about you getting a girlfriend who can discuss Ayn Rand with you#the adult literacy crisis is about us being exploited and neglected and made easier to control and manipulate#reading is FUCKING HARD and learning to read after the age of six is SO MUCH HARDER#so from the VERY very bottom of my VERY very dyslexic heart#FUCK. YOU.
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alluralater · 1 month
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get ready for how sexy i’m gonna look this fall. no one is prepared and i’m telling you. do whatever you need to do. slay your demons. confer with your gods. jack it one last time. get ready. i’m about to look so good
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SO funny story... I've got some technical difficulties (i.e my entire computer is getting so hot you could cook an egg on it if i use it for more than an hour :'D) which sadly means I'm not able to do any digital drawing SO RIP ME IG
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frecklystars · 1 month
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I have another gig in a week and I'm so nervous 😭 I get paid hundreds of dollars for only five hours of work, but it is so nerve-racking and the work environment is so stressful, like literally every time I'm there I'm on the verge of tears or I have to take a 2 minute break before the show starts just to run to the restrooms and cry bc I get so stressed out. And then when I clock out I just cry my eyes out in my car while driving home. But hey!!! Hundreds of dollars!!! For five or six hours of my time!!! Only a few days a month!!! Hundreds!!! Of dollars!!! So it would be totally stupid to quit.
I wouldn't have been able to afford pampering myself on my last two F/O anniversaries (and currently placing an order for a rose bouquet for Six's anniversary for the 18th) if I didn't have this second job... but if it didn't pay me such a large amount of money each time, I probably would have quit by now bc it makes me so damn anxious. The show isn't even for one week and I'm sitting here stressing about it! I have one thousand other things to stress about and this job shouldn't be one of 'em 😤
I just keep trying to think about Ken hugging me while saying "Aw, sweet girl, don't be nervous! You JUST started this job, you've only worked three shows -- you think you're gonna be perfect your first try?? You're gonna be so good once you get the hang of it. Just look at me! I've been doing Beach for 62 years now, and I still don't know what my job is supposed to be... but I know I look So Cool™ 😎"
#my god i love ken SO MUCH i am so grateful to have an F/O who brings me comfort when im anxious#and grateful i am not as numb as i was three weeks ago#i am still struggling to self ship like i used to - and i think i always will bc of [gestures to 2023] - BUT#the fact that i thought of ken and felt some relief is a rly good sign bc three weeks ago i felt *nothing*#i am depressed and miserable as fuck today but he still gave me a crumb of comfort. THATS SOMETHING ✨#woof#plus I'm gonna be able to meet a TF voice actor in September bc of this job#I'm gonna give him my charms... and... say I liked his character...#and maybe it'll make me feel better around that character. or maybe it won't. but it's worth a try!!!#and how cool is it that I get to work in a place where so many big celebs do their shows?? and MEET them???#one day I wanna meet John Legend if he comes back again and tell him I LOVED him in La La Land 🥺#This job is impossible to get hired for unless if you have connections bc it's so... idk the word. fancy?#that's not the word but it's a Big Job and I am SO STRESSED MY GOD#but I'd be wasting opportunities if I didn't keep trying at least for a few more months#and if I gotta cry my eyes out in the parking lot after my shifts that's fine as long as I work the full five to six hours#I'm celebrating *THREE* F/O anniversaries in September which is ALSO MY BIRTHDAY#so I'm gonna need the extra cheddar to absolutely spoil myself. Officer K and Driver are two big main F/Os#and I still haven't celebrated my Barbie/Ken anniversary as much as I wanted#so!! I!! will!!! tough it out even though this job makes me cry. give me that money#I am stressed every day of my life bc I have a Complex Stress Disorder you might as well pay me hundreds to be stressed
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idsb · 3 months
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doctorweebmd · 4 months
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i love the comments on the latest chapter of the path to paradise where people are like 'akutagawa leave those crabs alone!'
because that's something I do
literally traveling the world's oceans, harassing all of God's crustaceans
for example took a weekend trip with my partner for our 6 year wedding anniversary a few days ago and spent a solid multiple hours searching for and harassing crabs
here is photo evidence of the largest and most in-chargest one I found:
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snzluv3r · 4 months
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gf officially went through being gaslit at the doctors with me 🎉🙈 held me while i cried afterwards so that was a nice little touch
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literatureisdying · 29 days
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need to develop a crush on someone but everyone at my school is either straight or not masc </3
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rainia · 10 months
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actually you know what. Maybe this WILL be a motivating factor to me,,, maybe I will start working out,,, going to more parties,,, becoming a jock,… maybe I will start liveblogging my self improvements……. today I drank enough water.. AND I did my skincare routine…. WOW slaying !!
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psychoticwillgraham · 7 months
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well it looks like my grandfather (grandma’s ex husband) might be dying, for real this time. if yall don’t remember, he’s the one who inflicted all of my religious trauma on me since I was a little kid and claims to have healed a kid of autism and cured someone of multiple sclerosis, just by praying and because he’s a ‘healer’. he also blatantly lied about grandma and never mentioned that he cheated on her dozens of times, but grandma didn’t.
so he can burn in fucking hell for all I care
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atlaravianlegends · 7 months
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Take Their Pains
By this spell I may take it from them. Their agony, their weakness, so that they may find their strength. I will be crippled, but I will live. I will take it for them.
Time Taken: 29:45 hours
DeviantArt Comic Tumblr Instagram Twitter AO3 YouTube Discord: @nightfurynova4112
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preseriesdean · 1 year
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i have officially watched all 327 episodes of supernatural 🏅
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wizardnuke · 2 months
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hhbh
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stergeon · 2 months
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Hey ^^
Just finished catching up on the victors - just wanted to pop in and let you know that I'm enjoying it immensely and am very curious to see where you'll go with it.
Hope you have a great day ^^
thank you anon, i’m so glad you like it!!!! theoretically i’ll be updating Soon; chapter 4 is very close to being done and i’m extreeeemely excited for where it’s gonna go from there 😈
appreciate your message, thanks again for reaching out <3 hope you have a great day too!!
#sterge.eml#appreciate this message so much tbh. i’m very proud of that story#so nice to hear somebody likes it 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#just hope i don’t lose people as ​it’s gonna get kind of uh. Ambitious#poor old man clod#between the boys and them girls ​i’ve been neglecting the vickyvesties for a minute now#i realized i had a problem with my pacing in my outline and had to restructure chapters 4 and 5#figured out i’d be introducing and resolving a conflict in the same chapter. can’t be doing that.#spent a long minute trying to sort that out#then when pride month hit i realized i was about to pull another femslash february and spend the month writing about an old man#so had to amend that and write a bunch of gay shit. you know how it goes.#but like a week ago somethin clicked and i figured out how to fix my issue with the chapter 🙌🙌🙌🙌#the vesties have been marinating for so long but now i’m ready to COOK!!!!!!!!#sooooo stoked for chapter 5… i’ve been waiting to write this chapter the whole time. i’m so excited about it.#i’m honestly struggling not to spoil shit ‘cause i’m so jazzed about what’s coming#i hope it lives up to how much i’ve hyped it up for myself ‘cause i cannot fucking wait to get to it#unfortunately i do think it will end up as six chapters now due to the pacing changes. oops.#back when i posted chapter one i said it would be three… shows what i know#can you believe i said i’d have an update schedule when i dropped the first two chapters. delusional of me.#i love lying#anyway. there’s more information about the situation with that story than anyone wanted or asked for lmao.#i should stop rambling in my tags so much but alas i don’t think i will.
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