#it's crazy to think how much i've changed
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ritualcaster · 9 hours ago
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I know we're at totally different spots still but i read the article and it i think i've generally figured out what about me pissed you off so much.
Tone policing is a subsection of ad hominem. I'd like you too reread your posts to see if ur making that mistake too.
And yeah i mean it makes sense for the most part I was aligning with the "usually used by" section especially with how i was talking, and for the record i dont usually talk like that that, i just try to punctuate n stuff when it feels important to me i guess.
Im not trying to dismiss anything at all, I'm trying to help somewhere i felt like i could help. And idk why we aren't clicking rn but just read that sentence like 15 times.
Continuing
Yeah i said the equivalency was wrong right in those parantheses right there, yk what just stop looking at the red text in that image just pretend there is NO text there. I was using sex because i felt like you would get what i meant better, but it seems like it just sparked misunderstanding.
Continuing
Sorry for rexplaining all the stuff you already knew i just thought that that was what you were talking about me not getting. Like i just wanted to say it out loud so that its on record that i know too? Like that's something we are agreed upon.
Continuing
I'm not mad that you can't "transition into intersex" and honestly I highly regret using sex as an example like. At all. You guys are crazy. Sorry.
Honestly I have a pretty lax stance right now on people who would "want to be intersex" (so i can change it if need be) because even after research i just don't really have experience. As an intersex a mean. Like there are a seriously high amount of medical complications, theres all the oppression, all the forced "surgeries" that are an insult to surgery as a concept, nearly complete infertility, and plenty of general pain an unpleasent sensation. so this time I'm asking you a more personal question.
Do you feel like there is anything about being intersex that would make it prefferable to being perisex.
Any positives at all worth metioning? Or would it be better to have the term as something like being disabled. Do you feel like it's just something from birth that just inherrently sucks?
Continuing
I mean this so sincerely i'm honestly just not even sure how to word it, do you just want me to stop? Like replying? I can delete everything right now, or do you think I better serve as an example? If my stances seem to shift or contradict ir just completely change as we keep going back and forth, its because they are, and you changed them. I'm actually trying my damndest to listen and fix my shit man.
I thought you were here because you wanted to change my beliefs, but if you're just here out of anger i'd feel pretty bad.
on this subject, youre the one who knows everything. If youre here to tell me, ill listen, and if you aren't, then? Im not sure why youre still talking to me at all, and id like to hear about that too
I know that i shouldn't correct even tone on subject im unqualified for
I know that being intersex isn't something to be sought after, even for those who are non-bianary
I know that i am a hateful tar pit whos going to hell
And man thats just all the shit i learned in this convo alone so id say im learning plenty already
In case anyone needs a reminder…
Being transgender does not make you intersex.
Going through HRT does not make you intersex. Surgery cannot make you intersex.
Intersex people are born with atypical variations of physical, biological sex characteristics. That is what makes someone intersex.
Perisex trans people (especially on Reddit) have been recently insisting that just being transgender makes you intersex, and therefore able to speak over intersex people on issues that specifically affect us, especially when it comes to dangerous and offensive terminology. This is not true.
Also the idea that you can somehow “make yourself intersex” is untrue. You can make your body more androgynous through things like hormone treatment and surgery, but that does not make you intersex.
Falsely claiming intersex identity based on these things isn’t *always* malicious (though it is often done to speak over us) but it is always harmful.
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allfearstofallto · 3 days ago
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I haven't gotten to Caleb's story yet, but, I've seen a few clips. And the part of me that loves dark romance and twisted love, is absolutely over the moon at the way he's acting, but color me surprised when I saw how everyone else was responding to it 😭
I just saw someone make a post saying they hated the story and it was horrible. Like, my stomach dropped because I'd spent so much time prepping for him and I was worried I'd wasted it.
So obviously, I read the whole review and from what I gathered, the person just hated the fact that Caleb was doing his yandere thing. They said he felt evil and controlling, that he was morally grey and that his relationship with mc was going to paint what he'd done in a better light. Mind you I read the post twice to be sure, but the whole time I was thinking, "That's the whole point??"
A yandere character is always going to be inherently morally grey. Whether they act on their actions or not, typically the thoughts that they have about their darling are depraved. The ownership they feel over the person they love is almost inhumane. And of course, sometimes it's not even love, it's limerence or obsession. That's what makes them a yandere.
I think a lot of people expected him to be more possessive, like Xavier, which is more of a cute jealousy at times, typical of a romantic drama, and not a full blown, "I will kidnap you and hide you away from everyone because you and I belong together," type. But i also feel like they weren't paying enough attention. In his trailer he says something along the lines of "I bought that cat a bell with a collar, so that it'd make noise if it tried to run away," The cat obviously being an allegory for us and what he intended to do to us.
They didn't put that there for no reason??
So yeah, long-winded post to say that a lot of people didn't understand the initial archetype for Caleb. Because if we're going by typical otome game archetypes, there's always one yandere. I'm personally very happy with him so far, once again, as a yandere enthusiast and writer myself (not a good one) I think he was written beautifully.
He's not a yandere for no reason, his personality hasn't changed a crazy amount to account for his yandere actions (he mentions that he's always been like this), he had a moderate amount of power that makes him a valuable ally, but a tragic foe, and he has a real connection to mc, meaning that cutting him off and never seeing him again because of these tendencies isn't entirely possible for her.
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znivlho · 3 days ago
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Out of jealousy.
pairing : storm shadow x male reader
genre: smut to fluff
cw: NSFW 18+, rough sex, anal, oral, rimming, riding, blowjob, creampie
anon's request :
i wish to request please! I've been good crazy for Storm Shadow since the first G.I Joe movie and i quiet have this thought in my mind(i think it'll be quiet long, I'm sorry) so the Reader is one of student in Arashikage clan (most likely like Snake Eyes) him and Storm Shadow had a great relationship, they trained together, studied together, hang out together. The reader was a place for him to come back whenever he get upset or his jealousy toward Snake Eyes flaring.
Storm shadow developed liking for the reader while reader remain think of it as friendship(well, they were a children back then). So when the Hard Master died and Storm Shadow left, he felt betrayed, angry, in pain both from the grief for Hard Master and abandonment by Storm Shadow. But different from other, the reader don't believe the accusation that was thrown to his 'friend'.
Back to current time, the reunion of this two happened, and of course it's full of fight with Reader end up getting kidnapped by Storm Shadow. Other hostages was put in cells while reader was put in his private quarters by request of Storm Shadow himself because the liking he developed in his childhood seem turn to something more (cough obsession cough). So yeah, the confrontation happened and something snapped in him and Storm Shadow end up fucking him hard and rough. I thinking Storm Shadow the type that will leave mark in every spot and places on reader, outside and inside.
This is my request, I'm sorry if it's so long but i appreciate it a lot if you write it 🙏🏻🥲
~
i love this request so much that i had so many ideas on how to write it, thank you so so much anon, please accept this emoji ⭐️ as a gift and please use it if youll request again🙏
NSFW 18+, read at your own risk.
you suddenly woke up, blinking your eyes open as you stare at the ceiling with a dim light open. where are the others? why are you even laying down on a bed while the others fight? is it over?
many thoughts lingered to your mind as you looked around the room, but then you saw a familiar figure beside you, staring at you with those fierce eyes of his. those eyes who you missed to look at every single day since you were kids.
"storm..?"
you called out, seeing your childhood friend who wore an white shirt along with a short sitting on the floor beside you, but you can feel his eyes stare at your soul. you were frozen on the spot, he was now infront of you, the man who you waited in your whole entire life since he left.
"w-where have you been?? youre all grown up.."
you sat up as you asked worriedly about him, seeing him after many decades that you though he was dead. the last words turned into a whisper as you slowly reached your hand to his cheek.
"why did you left..?"
you spoke up, you have many questions in mind about him. but he kept quiet, suspiciously quiet while staring at you with those eyes of his that you cant explain what is it express.
"why are you with snake eyes?"
he finally spoke up, but not the question you expect. you cant explain to him, how you were with the man he hated so much since he show up just for him to be replaced and the hard master left him out like he never existed.
you were also caught by snake eyes. the more the latter has been hanging out with you the more you and storm became distant.
"i.."
you slowly pulled your hand away from his cheek, but he suddenly and swiftly pulled you closer to him that your faces almost touched.
"why?"
his grip around your wrist tighten, his eyes were fiercely staring straight into your soul. he wasnt like this before, he changed a lot.
you looked away, trying to look away from that stare that you thought it would gouge your eyes out if you kept looking at him.
well, thats a wrong move for you to make.
his hand went up to your chin as he agressively pulled you closer, his lips connected to yours hungrily that he craved it for a very long time. his hand pushed you down to the bed on your back agressively, pouring out all of his anger that he take up back then.
his tongue went straight into your mouth, exploring each corner and crevice he can feel inside. biting your bottom lips hardly until it bleeds, making you whine in pain. his teeth captured your tongue, biting it hard enough that it left a mark that was gushing out blood.
you were in pain but it felt too good. you cant understand why you cant stop what he was doing to you even though it hurts that you gave in. the more he kissed you hungrily and agressively, the more you got used to it and the more you became more desperate.
his hands roam around your body, ripping the fabric that was on his way to your skin. the both of his hands felt your body for the first time in many decades he wished he would touch, roaming around like it was looking for something.
your body was fit to his own hands, muscular yet so tiny beneath him. holding your waist with both of his massive hands make him feel so satisfied, he cant choose which part of your body was his favorite but instead he would pick all of it.
he leaned away but then he started attacking your neck like his life was depending on it, so desperate he had to mark every inch he touches with bite marks and hickeys. most bites were hard and deep that he made it slightly bleed on purpose, sucking it after till it was swollen then move to a next skin he would find. he wouldnt leave an inch without his mark and he didnt care if people sees it, he wants everyone to know.
meanwhile, you were a mess below him. whimpering and moaning at every action he made that made you feel pleasure, sweat dripping down along with strands of hair curled around your forehead. you never thought that you needed this, that it was that thing that made you feel pleasure for the first time.
he leaned away as he looked at you full with swollen marks and hickeys around your neck down to your collarbone and ended to your chest, your hair all messed up to the pillow as you look at him with those desperate eyes of yours made him turn on so much.
but he still not satisfied with the marks he made, and he would love to put more around your skin.
he leaned down to your chest, playing with your nipples that are desperate for touch, he sucked on it like a newborn who seeks for their mother's milk.
it was the sensitive part of your body, your voice betrays you as you let out questionable moans. even though he cant see your full face, he was satisfied with those sounds that went through his ear like music.
he bit down both of your nipples, making it both have the same mark as it pops up swollen up from his sucking. he went down to your lower torso, your fine toned body was perfect to him he cant stop marking at it.
he then suddenly leaned into your head again as he lifted you up, making you lie down on your stomach while his hard breathing was loud next to your ear.
"mh.. ive been waited for so long.. look what you did to me.."
he huskily whispered to your ear as he leaned his hips to your ass, making you feel how he was hard beneath the cloth he was wearing.
just by feeling it make you jolt by how long it was, how you felt it twitching in the fabric as it touches you.
"seeing you with snake eyes makes me dissapointed, and angry.."
he continued whispering while his hands do the job to pull away the pants youre wearing, his lips biting your ear till it was swollen.
"do you like that bastard?"
he asked as he gripped down tightly on your hair, making you throw back your head just for him to see.
you didnt answer, you cant even for a single word. you can sense he was mad angry inside unlike the emotions he was showing.
he scoffed after not hearing any response from you as you felt a tip aligned to your aching hole.
without any warning, he shoved inside his throbbing cock to you without any lube, any preperation, just straight filling your insides up.
you screamed at the sudden movement, the pain aching around you especially inside. he didnt even move yet but his tip was hitting your prostate.
he whispered to your ear once more as he started thrusting into you hardly and aggressively, hitting your spot every thrust as you felt your insides will tear apart when this continues.
"ill ask that later."
you cant hide your moans, it was getting loud from time to time and he really liked it. seeing you a mess down below him makes him satisfied.
he picked up his pace as you were reaching your climax, his hand held your throbbing cock, teasing its tip as he suddenly matched the pace betwwen his thrusts and his hand going up and down to your throbbing cock.
you cried out a moan as you came, him following not a long after. you catched your breath for a while, but he suddenly flipped ypu together so that hes below you.
he pushes you up to sit while his cock still inside you, making you whimper by the movement as his cum drips down from your aching hole.
"that was just a warmup, (name)."
he whispered to your ear as his hands gripped down to your hips as he raised you up from his cock, then suddenly slammed you down.
earning a loud moan from you, he then continues the agressive and hard pace for a long time..
not only did he cum twice, for 6 rounds he took you in.
{bonus}
after taking care of you, let you wore his fresh clothes, changed the sheets, let you drank water, he crawled in the bed to you as his head rested on your lap.
your hands quickly move to his cheek as you caressed it, moving away his hair that was blocking his face as you leaned on the headboard.
"you know, i-" "we'll talk about that tomorrow."
you cut him out as your eyes were closed as you continued to caress his cheek, only for him to fall asleep quickly.
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out-there-tmblr · 2 days ago
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Young zaundads wip (39)
***
The next issue is whose name to use. Silco argues that it's mostly Vander's money and Vander argues that it's Silco's bright idea. They call a truce to go to bed and by the next night, Silco's changed his mind.
"We'll put it in my name," he says. "It's not technically illegal but if the enforcers come calling, they won't have anything on you if your name isn't on it."
It's a noble gesture, Vander can see that, but the idea of Silco locked away in the dark… it sits in his stomach like a stone.
"As you said," Silco adds, aiming for comforting and hitting a false brightness instead, "it's my idea. If there are consequences, it should fall on me."
"That's ridiculous. Of the two of us, I'm far more likely to make new friends. And if that didn't work, you know I'd be able to handle myself."
"We are not arguing over which of us is more likely to survive Stillwater." It's a sign of how annoyed Silco is that he snaps his notebook shut and pushes away from the desk. "I've survived here. I would survive there."
"You're crazy if you think I'd let them take you away without a fight," Vander snarls, stepping in close. 
Silco doesn't back down, doesn't even step away. No, he tilts his head back to stare Vander down. "There'd be no point. You wouldn't win."
"I know I wouldn't! But you can't expect me to just let it happen!"
"And then what? We're both stuck in Stillwater?" Silco demands, one bony finger poking at Vander's chest. "The smart thing to do is have someone on the outside who will try to bribe your way out."
Silco glares up at him, wild eyed and incensed. It doesn't matter that Vander's right; Silco's not going to admit it tonight. Curling forward, Vander rests his forehead against Silco's, eyes closed. He holds Silco's arms in a loose grip, fingers loose against the worn cotton. "If that's what you want, it needs to be my name on that deed. I'm not going to think clearly if something happens to you."
Silco gives a small shake of his head but he lets the matter rest for the night. There's still a thrumming tension between them so they sleep on their sides, back to back. Vander falls asleep with the solid warmth of Silco behind him and wakes up in the morning to find Silco's still mad at him. For something Vander hasn't even done yet.
"Are you still angry at me hypothetically attacking enforcers for you?" Vander asks as Silco shoves his arms into his jacket with unnecessary force. He rethinks the wisdom of bringing it up before breakfast when Silco spins around to glare at him. 
"It would be a waste," Silco bites back. If anything, he's angrier than last night. Like he's had time to simmer over all the reasons Vander is wrong. "A complete waste! Why throw your life away just because mine's ruined? It won't fix anything, it won't save me. It's a completely pointless gesture."
It's too much before Vander's even had breakfast. "What else am I going to do, Silco? What am I going to do without you?"
"The same thing you did before you met me. See your friends. Work. Find some new pretty thing," Silco spits out but that incandescent anger is starting to fade.
Vander lifts a hand to Silco's cheek. His hands have always been big, strong and clumsy, but Vander likes easily he can cradle Silco's face. His thumb brushes Silco's temple while his palm rests against Silco's jaw, the loose slide of Silco's hair under his fingertips. "I don't want anyone else."
Silco gives him that look. That 'I don't need you to buy me food' look. That 'don't waste your money on me' look. That look that tries to be discouraging, tries to hide how much he likes it when Vander does. 
"I'm not saying you do," Silco says, wrapping a hand around Vander's wrist, fingers cool and gentle. He tilts his head down to press a kiss to the heel of Vander's hand, and then nips at the skin, a sudden drag of sharp teeth. "I'm not saying it would be easy, but we can't both… If I get dragged away to Stillwater, it's not going to make me feel better to know you're rotting beside me. I'd rather know you were out here, living."
Vander understands that, he does, but… It makes him feel like he's seventeen again, holding his ma's cold hand and wondering what he's supposed to do now. Like he's nine years old, waiting at the dock, waiting for a small fishing boat that never returns. "I don't want to be left behind again."
Silco pulls him down into a hug. Tucks Vander's head against his shoulder and runs a soothing hand up and down Vander's back. Keeps his other hand tight on the back of Vander's head, holding him close. "I'm not going anywhere, Vander."
***
Vander's not sure if he wins the argument but they do settle on using Vander's name on the paperwork. Not because Silco's seen sense. Not because he admits that of the two of them, Vander's going to have an easier time in prison and Silco's more likely to figure out a way to get him out. No, Silco agrees because Benzo, of all people, says, "Do you think the company would take it?"
Silco looks up from his plate, the food on his fork forgotten. "What?"
"As payment for your debts," Benzo says casually, scooping up a spoonful of the grey-brown stew. "If you actually get a market working there, if it makes money, do you think the company would be interested?"
It's not a thought that ever occurred to Vander. From the expression on Silco's face, he hadn't thought of it either.
It turns out that Silco considers the company a bigger threat than enforcers. Enforcers might stretch their powers if it suits them -- but only if it suits them -- but the company has been lurking over Silco's shoulder all his life. He's not going to risk them having any claim over this.
The end of the month is only a few days away and Silco's certain they'll have enough to pay for the land transfer and their next few shipments. He's already made arrangements with Babette for clothes and has started filling out the forms in painstakingly neat letters, allowing the ink to dry thoroughly before he moves the page.
Silco carefully places the pen on the desk. "I supposed there's no chance one of your parents had a family name?"
"I called them Dad and Ma," Vander replies, fixing the torn seam on his shirt. His stitches always come out bigger than his ma's would have been but they do the job.
"As in a surname," Silco clarifies, looking over his shoulder.
Vander snorts. "I'm not a Piltie."
"We need something for the form." Silco wanders over the three steps to Vander sitting on the floor, his shirt over his lap. "Whatever you like because there's no way they can prove it isn't your name."
"Huh." Vander pulls the thread through and carefully makes the next stitch. "Let me think on it."
***
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cozmic-ash · 1 year ago
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Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'
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sskk-manifesto · 6 months ago
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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oneluckydragon · 7 months ago
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“Fool me once, Dusknoir. Fool me twice?” Echo supplies, ice in the bite of her voice, “And you’ll regret it.”
--- --- --- --- ---
ECHO : (Hero)
Abilities: Bad Dreams / Synchronization
Nature: Impish / Quiet
Moveset: Dark Void / Psychic / Alluring Voice / Moonlight
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disposal-blueeee · 10 months ago
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doodles
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edgar vargas and squee by johnen vasquez
scriabin by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#zarla s#scriabin#doodles#YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME . . . . !!!!#well HELLO !!!! I'M BACK !!!!!!!!#got a new brush . what do you think of it do you like it#okay i want to ramble about these wait a second#the first one looks a bit different to the rest because i was just trying new stuff .#if i spend a long time without drawing i'll forget how to draw and well it happened#i've changed my art style like 3 times now but i still draw side profiles the same . looks weird ugh#the mug says “ JESUS loves me BECAUSE no one else will ” btw . meta gave me the idea actually . thanks meta .#about the second one . finished that one like ten minutes ago . missed drawing todd aw#i just find their whole relationship so amusing .#like yes i went crazy for like a month and now i have a brother-husband and a kid ?!#they complement each other so well though . i love them#THE UNO ONE omg i've had that idea for like A YEAR NOW and i just drew it lol#i wonder how long it would take scriabin to notice though .#when i showed this to meta she said : “ oh wow !! edgar's finally winning at something !! ” and it's SO TRUE#wonder how he does it !#and the last one . i got the idea when i was looking through zarla's account searching for fan art .#love it so much though they look like their lives aren't a living hell#anyways i'll probably make more of these . who knows#going back to school on monday . and of course i had to get inspiration four days before going back .#please PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL . PL#okay byeee enjoy these . eat my starved followers . EAT !!!!!
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stardestroyer81 · 6 months ago
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Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?
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sysig · 1 month ago
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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folkloregirlfriend · 3 months ago
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i hate feeling ambitionless aimless the future is so bleak
#this is about me not the events#i really don't think i have a plan lol and i ever will...#because all through school i had this thing. need to pass this unit test this half yearly this 2nd unit test final exams need to do this#cocurricular activity and the absolute relief when i flipped the report to see i was promoted every year. that was the aim right#now i don't know what's happening#a set set of friends i met everyday sat next to permanent place in the field where we had lunch. like?#it was all so permanent#i knew teachers did not like me or how people there felt about me#and i think a lot of it comes from the fact that i never changed schools#14 years in the same place then one random tuesday it ends everything ends and im supposed to start from scratch#losing friends was all my fault but goddddddf. i used to be good at things#like when i was in 10th grade i gave my everything to studying maths because mom threatened me that if do not get science here we'll change#your school#to wherever you get science#so i studied like crazy did not touch my phone for months and got science#like that is my level of attachment to that place#i just miss it so much probably more than my own home#and i can't belong anywhere because i'm so stuck and nothings good enough and i miss being good and being academically productive#it was my only win i think#this is so sad but i don't think i'll ever get that past work ethic back and it will never be good enough for me to feel good about myself#which can only be through study or work because im a loser who thinks she's worthless if not for a successful career#and I've felt this way for three years now. it is going to be permanent#everything is lonely
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immortalsins · 2 months ago
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went running and can report i'm still not that person
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risingsunresistance · 8 months ago
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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scarlettfevor · 2 months ago
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Looking back, the way Garroth was acting in the last episodes of season one of diaries was ridiculous. Like, you're a grown ass man WHY are you, as the head guard, sulking in your room all day just because you saw the girl you've liked for literally 2 months kiss another guy when your village is on the brink of war???
#the pyre#in retrospect this is when the Garroth/Laurence character assassination really started#like the last 20 eps of mcd or atleast the eps after they get back from the wolf village quest#are my favorite in the entire series but I've never actually properly rewatched them#I usually get to ep 70 and then drop my rewatch bc something else came up#I haven't watched these eps since they first aired 9 years ago#and it's so crazy how much I'd changed bc middle school me probably felt bad for Garroth#but adult me is kinda resenting him and wondering how this manchild was ever my favorite character#like I used to hate Laurence and his fans and his ship with aphmau that until I rewatched diaries as an adult#I didn't fully appreciate his character#in retrospect he was prob the best option for aphmau or at least he was until he became weirdly possessive in season 2 lol#like I said charcater assassination bc now in ep 95 he's taken the role of head guard bc Garroth is throwing a tantrum#and he's not using his newfound power to make aphmau feel like she owes him or smth like that#which is a very low bar but this is str8 romance it was only ever going to have a very low bar#but this laurence is v different from season 2 laurence but tbh I never rewatch season 2 bc I hate it#so I can only think of it the same way that pessimistic middle school me who already knew that diaries would never be as charming as it was#in season one but I still watched anyway bc I wanted to see those small garroth moments#I was watching a ytube video about romantasy and honestly if jess wrote mcd as a book series#you couldn't tell me she wouldnt be popular#all this feels very melodramatic ya fantasy post twilight book to me
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quarklynx · 5 months ago
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Casually flirting with the idea of fucking around and getting a master's degree. The time will pass anyway, right?
#lynx thinks#oh nooooooooooooooooo#nooooo i can feel the urge to be crazy and act on my hubris#ive just been talking to the grad students in the theater program and theyre taking like 9 credits a semester#and its all stuff that seems interesting or fun or at the very least useful unlike my undergrad degree#and im like... i can already sew as well as if not better than these grad students. i can for sure draw better for any designs i come up w#heck i can draw better than the current head costume designer faculty member for the university#so the little overcommitting gremlin in my brain is like ''yoi could totally do it. do it.''#and the other part of me is like ''im already so tired just from working again after needing to recover from burnout. how would i even?#so I'm sitting here Thinking about it...#a masters degree in theater might be better for finding work at a pre-existing institution than just a bachelors in art#and it might be better than a masters in art too#I'd have to stop taking commissions completely probably if i did it for the sake if time#but if i somehow got an assistantship position? then maybe?? i could do it?#oooooooh i hrm so hard y'all#its only been a week since moving and ao much is still in boxes. im only working part time but I'm tired now so much#idk if its just because my stamina levels have atrophied or what but im so. tired. these days#and by these days i mean in the last week.#maybe a week isn't long enough of a sample to work from.#im hoping my energy levels will even out a bit but with the time zone change and the fact that I'm almost 30 I'm not sure if it will?#so thats worrying#i actually kind of see why people seem to drink coffee every day now#I've definitely been eating a lot more normally since i started. both in timing and quantity#i still have projects of my own to work on i cant afford to be so eepy orz
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Revamping what started this whole AU..
Factory Reset In Progress
(Reminder that Factory Reset is/was a collaborative effort between me, @fandomandangstlover , @duckapus , and several anons on Engie's (fandomandangstlover) blog! Credit and huge thanks to everyone who pitched in that day to help make this AU what it is now!)
(Orignal arc post!)
This isn't that huge because I'm just making major changes. Everything else is left alone, mostly because I see no need to change it. But ideas and suggestions are always welcome!
Efficiency Arc
A reminder that this is the first arc that kicks off the AU, and this is pre-character development for nearly every character. That, and the Higher-Ups/Admins/Code World have not been introduced. This revamp, however, is being made with the new world building we have!
The beginning of this Arc is relatively the same, with SMG4 being shown as more spacey, almost like he's in a trance. A change, though, is that some scenes are shown with SMG3 experiencing similar things, being spacey, and generally having a hard time focusing. When the two are together and like this, they work together scarily well, letting everyone know something wrong.
Like the old arc, it goes from 0 to 100 incredibly fast with The Coding where both SMG4 and SMG3 are reset. A big change, though, would be showing just how different they are now. They work together absolutely flawlessly, rarely voice any complaints, and are generally very distrustful of the others.
In Please Wake Up, stuff is massively changed. SMG1 and SMG2 don't know what's wrong with 3&4 this time around, but they are able to deduce that it's almost like they've been reset. But they do tell the gang their best bet of figuring out what's went wrong is by finding either 4 or 3's Pod.
The WOTFI goes the same, except we would get to see a scene of Mario meeting with Domain (but at the moment he doesn't know his name) after finding 3's Pod. Mario explains everything (he's shitting bricks the whole time) and we don't get Domain's answer, except for his eyes narrowing.
Of course, come when everyone looks lost in the battle, Mario arrives with the bow and arrows Domain and Forum gave him to give Singularity its just deserts. It's code crumbles away, but a few stray pieces manage to hide away and sneak their way back to the Pods..
There'd be a lot of emphasis on just how scary this is for everyone because this is completely different from everything that's happened, and it's giving Mario and Meggy some serious flashbacks to the Lawsuit Arc when everyone didn't remember them.
This also gives time for SMG4 to reflect once he's been freed, and he realizes how badly he's been treating Mario, and he decides that he needs to start being a better friend before something similar happens again.
When Mario gets asked how he managed to get that bow & arrow, he says the "Mario recolor in 3's Pod gave it to me-a!" Everyone goes to investigate, Domain isn't present. Everyone's very confused, but.. decide that, presently, its not something they should worry about.
As they leave, we get a full look at Domain, who only crosses his arms with a stoic face.
New Hope Arc
The arc that changes the most. There's still tons of aftereffects from Singularity's rampage, SMG4 and SMG3 being the most harmed. Their code is still incredibly fried and damaged, and SMG1&2 are clueless on this and how long it'll take for them to recover.
There's a lot of focus on recovery in their arc, and Lil Coding doesn't get introduced as early as he did last time. It's midway through the arc that he does, and it's because 4&3's code has gotten to the point where he actually needs to step up and intervene. Everyone is understandably suspicious, but the Code Manifestation simply does the code repairs and leaves as soon as he can.
It always bothered me how quickly everyone grew to trust Lil Coding, so it takes a while longer for them to come around to him. LC takes most of the initiative, coming around and helping his SMGs code and repairing it. It takes a while, but they do slowly come around.
Singularity hiding in Lil Coding's own code stays the same, and him progressively getting weaker as it takes his own code as well. The overflow command happens just the same, with Singularity coming back.
The Burden Arc
It's actually Lil Coding this time that says they need to go to the Pods, with him saying that this is something far out of his control and permission range, and they need the Admins. Everyone is confused (save for Mario), but they head to the Pods. There, we finally get the proper introduction of two of the three Admins for SM64: Domain and Forum.
We get some lore from them, them explaining that they're the Admins of 3&4 along with what Lil Coding is. Not everything is explained, of course, but we do get what's relevant and necessary to the plot.
Lil Coding and Singularity being linked stays the same, and of course, not wanting Lil Coding to end up dying, everyone looks for a way to separate them. Domain and Forum could do this, but they don't because remember. This is before all of the chatacter development everyone has had, so they're nowhere near as attached as they are now.
Eventually, Lil Coding does his thing to go and get rid of Singularity, but this time, instead of the whole stone statue thing, he's just in an indefinite power down mode until he heals. The electricity overload he does nearly completely fries his own code, but it does end up killing Singularity.
I think this is a good starting point for Domain and Forum's actual character development and to also plant the seeds of them being the SMG Prototypes. They are both incredibly confused by how upset everyone is and why they feel like something is repeating with how everyone's acting. So they decide to help out and speed up Lil Coding's recovery. I'll say that this is the start of their actual relationship with everyone.
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