#it's been very refreshing to be around a family who things well of me and also is very confused as to why my own family isn't nice to me

[ourceliumnetwork]

took the calculated risk of going out and meandering around town and looking through shops. in some ways i enjoy the throbbing ache of used muscles and bones as i rest. in other ways i hate it because i know as soon as i move it's going to intensify to Extreme Pain and i've already had the max amount of medicine i can take right now, and can't take any more for another 2.5-3 hours.

[noisilyscreechingsong]

Dp x Dc short idea

Jason is Danny’s dad

Warning: Language

Jason had just returned to the family publicly about two weeks ago. It hadn’t even been that long for him to settle before something happened. The press weren’t even off his ass and he has Alfred requesting he return home for an urgent matter immediately, which is butler speak for get your ass here right now!

The family was happy but adjusting to everything. They had mandatory family dinners at least twice a month and voluntarily got together more frequently, mostly just the siblings, but every once in a while Bruce would sneak in for a movie in the family room.

Alfred was pleased with the progress the family has made over the course of many years. It finally felt like everything was coming together and maybe settling down. He knew he thought that too soon when he answered the buzzer at the front gate. They weren’t expecting any visitors and looking at the video feed it was a young woman with hands on her hips glaring back at the camera. There were two large bags with her and surprisingly enough a young child playing in the grass just a short distance behind her.

“Wayne Residence, Alfred Pennyworth speaking, how may I assist you, ma’am?”

“Lettin’ me in for starters,” she says back with venom on her tongue.

“My apologies, but you do not have an appointment.”

She snorts, “Nah, but ya see, I saw that bastard on the news and thought I’d drop off what he gave me.”

To get her point across, she turns and looks back at the little boy not paying her any attention.

“Danny!” She snaps and he jerks his head to look at, who Alfred is assuming is, his mother. “Come here.”

He hops up at his own pace and dusts off the grass on his knees before trotting over. She leans down to angle the young boy away from the camera and pushing back his hair.

He couldn’t see it well before by the way the boy was positioned before, but Alfred could clearly see a prominent patch of white hair on the left lower section by his neck. Just like the white batch on Jason.

“You gonna let us in now?” She asks rudely.

Alfred has already determined he did not like this woman. He still buzzes them in. He contacts Jason immediately followed closely with Bruce.

Alfred then helps the two carry in the bags, while subtly checking for any weapons or explosives. Instead he finds things meant for a child.

He really didn’t like this woman.

Bruce is the first one to arrive down the stairs, pausing towards the bottom. He glances at Alfred and can see the displeasure in the butler’s eyes.

“Hello, ma’am. I’m Bruce Wayne, nice to meet you.”

“Fuckin’ everyone knows who you are, Brucie Wayne,” she huffs with a roll of her eyes.

Bruce glances down at the very young child who is hearing the foul language. He couldn’t be more than five, and completely oblivious as the little boy runs a hand along the wall and looks around at everything. He particularly keeps going back to the shiny chandelier above their heads.

“Who might you be?” He asks the woman, coming back to her as she almost touches the vase on the entry table. She draws her hand back to fold her arms across her chest.

“Grace.”

The name seems ironic compared to her behavior.

“And how can I help you, Miss Grace?”

“Your thought-to-be-dead son left something of his. I’m here to return it.”

It took no detective to determine she was talking about the boy currently using the door frame to the sitting room as leverage to rock back and forth, holding on with his tiny hands. Bruce could see the splash of white among the dark hair from this angle.

Bruce hums.

“Is that so?”

“I’ve already contacted Master Jason. He should be arriving soon. Shall I prepare some refreshments in the drawing room?” Alfred informs.

“Thank you, Alfred. Right this way,” he says to Grace, directing her toward the left while pulling out his phone to ask Tim to prepare the proper equipment downstairs.

“Danny!” The woman calls with impatience. She glares at the little boy who calmly turns to look at her, then skips behind them.

Grace huffs but doesn’t say anything else as they enter the room. She sits herself in the middle of the love seat and Bruce takes one of the chairs across from her. The boy, Danny, explores the room thoroughly, walking around without pattern and investigating every nook and cabinet to keep himself entertained. Very curious little child.

Bruce tries to engage her in conversation to dig up more information, but she firmly wanted to wait for Jason before divulging anything. He did however find out that Danny is four and needs to be enrolled in kindergarten next turn. Grace works night shift but wouldn’t say where.

Alfred came with three waters, one in a smaller plastic cup for Danny, and a plate of crackers and cut up fruit.

Grace eyes the butler with a raised brow. However, the first words Danny has spoken in their presence is a cute, “Thank you, mister,” before munching on a cracker and sipping from his cup. His curious eyes flick over the fruit and wanders over to his mother who picks at a rip in her jeans. He taps her knee and she sighs.

“What is it?”

“What’s that?”

Danny points to the fruit.

“What’s what?”

He creeps forward to point directly at the blackberries mixed in with the blueberries and strawberries.

“Blackberry,” she answers shortly.

“What’s it taste like?”

“Why don’t you try it and find out?”

He must have approved of that suggestion and reaches in to clumsily wrap a tiny hand around one of the dark berries. He flips it over in his hand for a minute, observing it at all angles, feeling the texture of the little bumps, before shoving it in his mouth. Danny leans his body over the coffee table to drag the bowl closer and rummage through it for more goodies.

Really looking at him, Bruce could see Jason’s freckles and the few other similarities like his square jaw and lip shape. He hasn’t seen it yet but Bruce bets Danny has the same crooked grin as his son.

He has the woman’s pale complexion and nose shape. His hair was straight like hers instead of Jason’s curls, but Danny took his dark coloring compared to her light brunette.

The boy was an adorable mix of both his son and this woman. He almost felt the test was unnecessary, but he didn’t stop Alfred from replacing the plastic cup and take it back to the kitchen where he knew it would be handed off to Tim.

Thankfully it was a day where there weren’t any meetings for either of them to attend.

Surprisingly, it isn’t Jason that enters the room first, it’s Damian coming home from school. The fourteen year old, almost fifteen, holds a leash in one hand with Titus standing patiently next to him, ready for his after school walk.

“Father, I heard we have guests.”

The teen stops in the doorway and Danny turns with interest until he spots the animal, then his eyes bug with excitement.

“Mommy, doggie,” he whisper shouts.

She just hums in affirmative, looking the new arrival up and down.

Danny grabs a blackberry from the bowl and trots over to Damian. He holds out the piece of fruit.

“This is a blackberry,” he states proudly.

Damian blinks down at the small child. Titus tilts his head, his nose working hard.

“I’m aware.”

“You can have it, if you let me pet your doggie,” he negotiates like he needed to give something in order to receive permission.

Damian looks up to his father for answers.

“Jason will be here soon,” is what he gets instead, his father’s lips twitch.

Damian looks back down in sudden realization when he sees the similarities between the man and this boy. He sighs tiredly.

“Pennyworth. A wet washcloth if you please.”

“Right away, Master Damian.”

“Next time, you only need to ask to pet Titus, you do not need to give me anything in return,” he tells the child.

Danny looks down at the berry sitting in his stained hands.

“So you don’t want it?”

“…Maybe later.”

“Okay!”

Danny skips back to carefully set the berry off the side on the tray, as if to save it for Damian for later like he said. He jogs the short distance back to them.

“Can I pet your doggie now, please?”

Damian takes the washcloth Alfred hands him with a nod and crouches down to get level with the boy.

“We must wipe our hands first. We don’t want anything sticky in his fur,” he explains as he holds out the washcloth for Danny’s hands.

The four year old looks down at the stains to see what he means and then places his hands on the washcloth for Damian to get the juices off.

The teen then calmly explains how to properly approach a dog he does not know by letting Titus smell the back of his hand first and then to always stay calm and confident.

Titus, the gentle giant that he is, had no problems letting the tiny child pat him and run small fingers through his short fur. It was endearing to hear the giggles when Titus used his big nose to sniff at the child’s face and neck. Sitting down, Titus was taller than the child standing up, which would have been scary to some kids, but Danny seemed to love Titus instantly. The little boy easily telling the dog what a good boy he is even with the dog sitting there doing nothing.

“Titus needs his afternoon walk now,” Damian informs.

Titus stands at the word walk, clearly ready to go.

“Oh, okay.” Danny turns to the big dog to reach up and pat his head twice. “Bye-bye, Titus. Have a good walk.”

The two leave and Danny skips back over to hang over the arm of the love seat his mother sits in, typing on her phone.

“Mommy, did you see the doggie? His name is Titus. He’s a good dog.”

“Uh-huh,” she comments without really listening.

“Do you like dogs, Danny?” Bruce asks with a smile.

Danny looks at him like he forgot the man was there, tilts his head as he studies him for a moment. Bruce waits patiently until Danny deems him okay and perks back up with bright eyes.

“Uh-huh! I love dogs! Mommy says we can’t get one ‘cuz our ‘partment is too small and they’re dirty. You’s guys are lucky,” the boy rambles as he wanders around the coffee table to get closer to Bruce and away from his distracted mother.

“How do you feel about cats? Damian has a black and white one around here somewhere.”

Danny shrugs and they continue to have a rather pleasant conversation about different animals and foods and each of their houses. It takes up the amount of time for Jason to walk through the door, seemingly already informed of the situation from Alfred.

Jason was… flabbergasted. Bewildered. Caught unprepared. He was a lot of words. Mostly he was scared.

Did he really have a child? A son? If that was true then he missed so much. He missed all of his firsts. First words, first steps, first laugh, first everything.

Would the boy even like him? What if he saw all his scars and was scared of him? What if he didn’t want anything to do with Jason after not being in his life this whole time?

But the boy might not be his. There’s that. That could be… Jason didn’t like the disappointment that thought brought.

Grace was the first one he noticed. Her ripped jeans and low cut top being out of place among the antique furniture and Persian rug. She scowls at him, putting her phone down.

“Finally decided to show up?”

He bites back a comment. He broke several traffic laws to get here, it wasn’t his fault he was fourty minutes away at the time he got the call.

He glances over at Bruce and instead his eyes zero in on the child standing by the armchair Bruce was sitting in.

Just one look and he knew the boy was his.

He looks to Bruce anyway for confirmation, since he has no doubt he sent off a sample to Tim hiding like the troll he is in the basement. The man nods. Jason sucks in a deep breath and suddenly needs to sit down.

He sinks heavily in the matching armchair next to Bruce’s, separated only by a round end table. Jason can’t stop staring at those big, blue eyes that are filled with such curiosity and innocence he almost breaks down right then. But he can’t. He has to be strong. He can’t just walk away to get a handle on his emotions. He’s a dad now.

“You’re a hard man to find,” Grace folds her arms over her chest.

“I’ve been busy,” he answers lamely.

She humphs and looks away with a shake of her head.

The boy, Danny Alfred said his name was, creeps around Bruce’s legs to get closer, obviously seeing something in Jason enough to investigate. The room is quiet as they wait to see how Danny will react.

Coming to a stop right before his knees, Danny stares up at the large man with lots of scars and muscles from what he can see. He wasn’t scared. There was just something familiar that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He looks… he looks like… and he also feels almost like…

Furrowing his brows in a pout, he knows his Mommy doesn’t like it when he does it, but he still makes his eyes burn with green.

The man gasps and his eyes also swirl into an angry green.

“Daddy?” Danny asks with hope and joy.

Daddy swallows and then nods.

“Yea, buddy, I’m your dad.”

“Daddy!” The boy cheers, jumping in place with a wide smile. “Daddy! Mommy, look! It’s Daddy!”

Danny wastes no time climbing into the man’s lap and wrapping his arms around him as far as they’ll go (not very far) to press his ear to Jason’s chest over his heart. He’s practically vibrating with excitement and Jason makes sure to set a large hand on his back to hold him close.

“I fuckin’ knew it,” Grace hisses, her eyes wide at the display earlier. Both of their eyes had returned to their calmer blue and teal color, but everyone in the room saw it. “I knew he got it from you.”

His eyes narrow in warning, pulling the boy closer to his chest. He sets a hand over Danny’s exposed ear to protect him from the harsh words he’s probably already heard before.

“Do you have any idea how creepy it is to deal with a tantrum when your kid has fucking glowing green eyes?”

“Did you hit him?” Jason growls, the vibrations seeming to settle Danny even more.

“Please, I’m not my mother,” she dismisses with a sneer.

Could have fooled him.

“Everything was fine until he started doing freaky shit. I don’t know how to raise a meta kid, alright?”

“What are you talking about?”

Now he was just confused. What stuff was Danny doing that Grace thought he was a meta?

“Don’t try to pretend you don’t have powers too,” she points viciously.

“I’m not pretending. I don’t have powers. I don’t have the meta gene. What can he do?” He demands while being transparently clear.

She just glares back at him, obviously not believing him. That didn’t exactly matter at the moment.

“What can he do?” He repeats with emphasis.

She puckers her lips like she’s tasted something sour and then lifts her chin.

“Why doesn’t he just show you, huh? Danny- Would you stop babying him? Danny, show him the things you can do.”

After Jason takes the hand off the boy’s head, Danny turns to his mother warily.

“But you don’t like it,” he reminds, like she forgot.

“He wants to see it, so show him,” she waves a hand at Jason like he just asked for something he would regret.

Danny leans back to look up at his dad.

“You won’t get mad? Or scared?”

He sounds so unsure and scared. As if Jason could ever hate him. Jason really wants to punch something. Preferably something with her face on it.

“I promise I won’t.”

Another parent might have something more profound to say to reassure their child, but Jason was just starting out and honestly, it was more than Bruce would ever say.

Danny thinks for a second before wiggling to get down. He looks back once more at his mother who gives him a ‘get on with it’ motion.

The boy fidgets a little before covering his face with two hands like he’s playing hide and seek, then- disappears. Jason jerks at watching his son blink out of sight like a Martian.

“Boo!” Danny pops back into view, exactly where he was standing before with his hands out like any child on Halloween.

Jason blinks and then starts laughing. This was karma. Danny could literally become invisible, something the Bats train to do for years.

“That was good, buddy,” Jason chuckles, ruffling the kid’s hair.

Danny hesitantly smiles back, a bit of hope and pride in those eyes.

“There’s more,” Grace interrupts, seemingly uneasy with how well Jason reacted.

“Yea?” Jason directs to Danny, his focus on his son.

Danny gives a shaky nod, glancing over worriedly at Bruce who is just silently watching. Jason could see the tension in his shoulders but also the intrigue.

The boy places a hand on the coffee table and focuses on his hand. It took a few minutes of concentration before Danny’s hand went through the table like he was just dunking his hand in a pool instead of through a solid object.

He pulls his hand out and they could see it be slightly translucent.

“That one’s harder to do when I want to,” Danny mumbles.

“You mean it mostly happens on accident?”

Danny nods.

“I drop a lot. And get stuck sometimes.”

Yea, Jason can see how that could be a problem. He can’t imagine how terrified Danny was the first time a body part got stuck in an immovable object. He really wishes he could have been there for him in his panic.

“The last thing is hard too. But I’ve been practicing. Watch!”

Danny jumps once, twice, and on the third time he lingers in the air, coming down slowly like someone in water or astronauts on the moon. Danny pushes off the ground a fourth time, this time floating steadily higher like gravity meant nothing to him.

Despite the kid obviously have done this before and enjoying it with his giggles, Jason stands under him in case he falls. And falls he does. Suddenly, like the strings being cut and gravity taking hold of him again, Danny plummets into Jason waiting arms. The boy grunts on impact and then smiled sheepishly up at his dad.

“Sorry, Daddy. I promise I’m doing better.”

“That’s okay, squirt. I’m glad I was here to catch you.”

Jason plops back into the chair with his child in his lap.

“Anything else up that sleeve of yours?” He teases but is equally as serious.

Danny shakes his head enough to make his hair fluff. Jason looks to Grace for confirmation and sees she is still recovering from Danny’s fall out of the air. How many times has she had to catch him? Or wasn’t able to catch him?

She clears her throat.

“I don’t know if it’s part of it, but he never gets sick. Never even had a cough.”

Children always get sick, that’s how they build immune systems. For Danny to have never gotten even a cold, Jason doesn’t know if it’s worrying or a good thing.

“Any allergies?” Is the first thing on his mind, thinking of what Alfred will need to know.

She shakes her head with a negative hum.

“In one of the bags is a folder with all of his documents. Birth certificate, immunizations, doctor visits. I also made a list of some favorite things and things he hates. It has foods on there too.”

That was… honestly more than he was expecting from her. But it also cements the fact that she intended to drop him off with him and then never see them again. She raised him for four years and she doesn’t even want visitation? Does she not understand there are legal documents she needs to sign to transfer custody properly?

“There are some things you need to sign, but it will take some time to get it sorted,” Bruce chimes in all business.

Long nails swipe through the air like signing her rights away was trivial.

“My phone number and address are on one of the documents. Just tell me when and where.”

She stands to leave and Jason can feel Danny tense up.

“Are we leaving?” He asks worriedly, climbing down from his seat on his dad’s lap. He didn’t want to go.

“You’re staying here. With your dad,” Grace says shortly, not once looking at the boy.

“Are you going home to get the rest of our stuff?”

“No. I’m going home. You’re staying here. End of story.”

Danny visibly thinks on that for a second then scampers after his mother as she leaves the room.

“Is it like Robbie where his mom lives in one ‘partment and his dad lives in a different one?”

Grace sighs and runs a hand through her hair. She’s clearly flustered and is showing it as irritation, but Jason can’t help but trail behind in case she says something that she shouldn’t.

“No, Danny, it’s not like Robbie. I- I am leaving you here and I’m not coming back, okay?”

Jason takes a step forward to draw her attention and send her a look that says ‘choose your words carefully, this is a conversation he will remember for a long time’.

“But- but why? Is it ‘cuz of my things? I’m sorry I scared you, Mommy. I didn’t mean to. I won’t do them again, promise.”

Jason grits his teeth at how desperate his son sounds, trying to keep his mother with him. Even making a promise he can’t keep.

Grace finally looks at her baby. Sees the turmoil and tears in his baby blue eyes. She gets down on her knees to get level and places her hands on his tiny shoulders.

“You will do them again and that’s not a bad thing. Your things are part of you. That’s okay. You’re not in any trouble. I just- I’m in over my head here, Danny. I can’t take care of you the way you should be taken care of, okay? But your dad can, I hope. So I’m leaving you here. With him.”

Danny’s lip wobbles and she has to restrain herself from not hugging him like she always does when he’s upset.

“Then- then you’ll visit, right? Like Chase’s grandma visits him?”

Why is this so hard?

“I don’t think so, baby. I don’t think you’re gonna see me again. I’m sorry.”

Danny is silent for a while. He wipes his eyes and sniffs.

“Are you goin’ ‘way like Jamal’s dad?”

The ten year old in the same building as them lost his dad in a wrong place wrong time type situation. Jamal had told Danny his dad went away forever so he couldn’t see him again. Grace had told him that when people go away forever, they get put among the stars he loves so much to be remembered.

Grace wears such a pained expression Jason half thought she was about to burst into tears.

“Kinda,” she nods. “So give me a big hug, okay?”

Danny was in her arms before she finished speaking. Jason didn’t exactly know why she wanted to stop all contact, but he had a theory that if Danny really was a meta (and with his powers he was leaning toward believing it) then Grace would want to distance herself as much as possible to protect them both. He met her in Crime Alley, he knew they didn’t live in a good spot. If any one of those crooks saw Danny use any of his powers, they could steal him easily from his single mother. She didn’t want to give those kind of people leverage to get Danny and sell him off. She wasn’t trying to be cruel, she was just trying to do what was best for her kid, even if that meant cutting her out of his life.

He had a strange new respect for her he didn’t want to acknowledge.

Grace takes a heavy breath and pulls away showing Danny’s tear stained cheeks. She wipes them like it would do anything.

“I gotta go now, Danny.”

“No,” he cries and Jason’s heart breaks a little more.

“We gotta say goodbye now. Please.”

Grace is just barely hanging on. Jason knows as soon as she walks out that door she’ll break down.

“I don’t want to. Don’t want you to leave,” Danny whines, trying to keep a strong grip on his mother.

She holds his hands in hers and gives him a serious look.

“You’re going to be fine. You’re gonna be just fine with your dad.” She leans in and whispers, “You’re not alone, Danny. You are never alone. Just look up. Look at the stars, baby, and you’ll be okay.”

Danny pouts, but thinks about those words.

“I like the stars,” he mumbles.

She smiles, probably the first one in a while.

“I know you do.”

She kisses his forehead one last time and stands. Danny whines. She steps away.

“Bye-bye, Danny. I- I love you.”

“Mommy,” he cries, tears and snot coming full force now.

Jason can’t take anymore and picks up his son to hold on his hip.

“It’s okay, buddy. I got you,” he assures. He turns to Grace who is having the internal battle of her life in the foyer. “I got him.”

It’s an assurance to her too, that he will take care of Danny, that he would be there for him. It was a promise.

Grace sees it for what it is and leaves out the front door without another word.

Danny screams and cries and struggles, but Jason holds on tight, scared he’ll fall or use his powers to get away and disappear. The man walks back to the drawing room so his son wasn’t staring at the door longingly.

As soon as Jason sits down, Danny struggles harder since they stopped moving. So Jason stands again, adjusting the boy in his arms and starts pacing a path around the room.

Bruce has already disappeared, not knowing what to do with a heartbroken child crying his eyes out. Alfred has cleared away the tray of snacks, leaving two waters on the table, one in a small, plastic cup. Jason spies Damian poke his head in for a second to see what the matter was, and upon seeing no immediate threat went off wherever. Other than that, father and son were alone to figure themselves out.

Danny was going through a lot for a toddler and Jason didn’t exactly know how to handle what happened either. He tried his best with speaking reassurances into the boy’s hair, but he didn’t know if Danny even heard him over his own crying.

It was a rough first meeting to be frank, but after a while (what felt like ages) Danny cried himself to sleep and Jason felt it safe to finally sprawl out on the loveseat with the boy laying on his chest. Compared to a grueling patrol, that was definitely worse. He never wanted to have to go through that again, but knew as a dad it was part of the job description.

[misfitgirlwrites]

Lucifer Having A Crush On You/How Would He React?

I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'M NOT--

It's time for my fictional love and life and all I hold dear in my daydreams. Bitches, bros, nonbinary hoes, and genderfluid fucks, I present to you the Big Dick in Charge

I may reference works that I've read and when I do I'll drop their @ and link to their story it is law that you read it if you read mine, I don't make the rules

CW: none, slightly angsty but nothing too intense!

Alright, doves, this is post-season one. Lucifer now resides in the hotel with everyone and is slowly adjusting to being graced with Alejandro's Alastor's presence every day.

Let's be honest, our baby pays attention but puts in minimal effort. Saying that the days went by in a blur would be an understatement. Even conversations would be forgotten after a few short moments. On to the next task. Full focus on this thing. Once that's done? Well onto the next task! No tasks? Free time to spend with Charlie!

Things would start slow, and to really interact, you'd most likely start to approach him first. Maybe you've spent long enough watching the blond anxiously bounce around the hotel and graciously give himself a bit too much for even the Big Boss of Hell.

A timid approach from you, offering to help with whatever he's currently doing. Maybe you make snacks for everyone in the hotel and hand him his personally :)

And so it begins! A greeting here, a greeting there, slightly awkward conversations that slowly start to feel less forced with the little information you learn about each other along the way.

It's...nice! Refreshing! Lucifer would be more excited than anything and talking to you would become a part of his regular routine without much thought on the matter. You'd occasionally be on his mind just a little more, and he'd start to seek you out himself too.

I know you're already seeking him out. Bitch I'M seeking him out.

Helping with chores around the hotel quickly turns into simply enjoying the other's company.

One day you gift him his very own ceramic duck! You could have paid for it from somewhere or made it yourself.

Either way, he'd fucking LOVE it! Honestly, if you decide to try your hand at making it, he'd love it even more with all the rough edges and little bumps (it was made out of love for my babies who never touched clay in their lives)

In response, please expect many gifts in return. I like to think it's been a while since he's gotten a genuine gift like this

(Bonus headcanon: Charlie will see this and will come to you the next day with a list of things she wants to gift him and you two are unofficially officially the Buy Lucifer Anything Duck-Themed duo)

Lucifer loves how you react when he gifts you your very own rubber duck. Your smile and happiness always seemed contagious to him. It only led to him making/getting you more things.

You will have a rubber duck collection by the end of this, but what can you really say? Each one of them is based on something you mentioned before. A movie character, a book character, a cartoon character, even friends or family members if they were mentioned. The gesture is way too sweet for you to turn down, even if it is the 30th duck you've received.

Now prepare for what I like to call the "get along t-shirt" phase but both parties are willing LMAO.

Lucifer will be by your side as long as you'll accept the company and if you're reading this and we brain the same, that will be all the time.

I love the GenZ!Reader memes and fics. Someone show this man bacon pancakes and if it was already done, SHOW ME.

Between his relationship with Charlie and with you, Lucifer actually feels the need and wants to be a little more present bit by bit. He notices that he is spending less time in his head, but he continues on in fear of fucking it up if he thinks too hard about it.

So instead he'll 100% focus on the little familiarity of happiness, as small as those moments may be sometimes. This is EXACTLY why the thought of him potentially feeling romantic interest again goes right over his head.

Who notices first, you ask? Charlie, of course. You slowly but surely became one of his main topics in conversation, it wasn't hard for her to pick up on it and ask.

Baby boy would straight up deny it at first. Him?? Liking someone else??? LMAO, am I right? Of course, after he does this, he'll have the time to actually pay attention to his actions.

So then he'll notice how excited he is every morning knowing that you'll be the first face he sees. He'll notice how he managed to fit you into any task he had to do. When he'd get lunch for himself and Charlie he'd have the automatic thought of making something for you as well. Even when the day was over, he'd be thinking about spending the next day with you. To be frank, you were constantly on his mind. 

Once he notices it's a big mental "fuck". Nothing about you is wrong of course, it's him, or so he thinks.

Let's start with the elephant in the room, or shall I say the ring on his finger lmao

In Lucifer's mind, he's still married technically. Even thinking about it in a technical term was a new development and it made him feel absolutely horrible. Lilith left, sure, but who knows what happened? Regardless of how he felt, he didn't want to hurt her.

But at the same time what about him? Lucifer hasn't been happy in a long time and he's finally building that again, not just with Charlie, but with you as well. He didn't want to just cut you out, he didn't want to hurt you either.

Plus, did you even like him? How would he even approach you? If he wanted to, even after thinking about everything.

Who was he kidding, of course, he still wanted you!

@liveontelevision *drops to my knees and bows* they worded it extremely well here and if you're reading this but you haven't read this already or you clicked the link then clicked back here, go back and read it. I don't care how long it is. Do the thing then come back.

Welcome back. It was good, wasn't it? I know.

The only awkward period for you two is the week-long contemplation of everything (half him attempting not to do what he always does when stressed but by the time he realizes he already made like 30 ducks--)

He would clearly go out of his way to either try and talk to you or avoid you. Or a cute mixture of both where he makes a scene approaching you, realizes he's not ready yet, then makes a scene so he can disappear *finger guns*

A little crisis here, a few little rubber ducks there, and a looooonnnggg conversation with Charlie and Maggie Vaggie.

Those are the ingredients to a semi-stable Lucifer with enough bravado to talk to you normally again.

He'd apologize for the times he basically pulled a Houdini in your face and he'd explain himself fully, all while also confessing his love for you.

It's choppy, it's fast-paced in some areas, and the poor blond was ready to disappear at any given moment, but that's what made it so real for you.

The weight that's lifted off of him couldn't be described, and neither could the joy that welled in him the moment he saw your beautiful smile and heard nothing but your acceptance and love.

What an emotional roller-coaster, am I right?

Lucifer Taglist: @alastorssimp @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @heart-of-the-morningstar

Requests are open! If you'd like to be tagged in future Lucifer or Hazbin Hotel content, please let me know! My asks and DMs are open to all!

[icarusallusion]

One of the main reasons I've been so fond of Otasune since I first knew it was a thing was because I think they're genuinely one of the purest forms of love in Metal Gear.

Throughout the series we see horrible relationships between horrible people trying to get by and then that relationship gets dragged through the awful scenarios they live with, be it war, internal struggles, infidelity etc. Despite this common place struggle with so many other characters, we see Otacon and Snake steadfast loyal and healthy throughout every struggle they go through.

They may not be an official couple, but they will always stay the most communicative relationship even outside of shipping. I see people joke about how Otacon kind of bosses Snake around (especially in MGS4), but I always saw it as refreshing. In the series, there is so many times where x character does something horrendous and y character just sits aside and silently sulks about it.

But this doesn't happen, like at all, with Dave and Hal. There are many times where Snake doesn't think about consequences to his actions as a general rule of soldier, however Hal has never been a soldier. So when these things happen, Otacon tells him off and it's something Snake genuinely needs to hear. It's something human, away from combat. Because Otacon is one of the very few characters that talks to Snake as a person, as a human, not as a soldier or fucked up clone baby.

Snake has gone his whole life scrapping the bottom of the barrel to stop feeling so lonely, he flirts with every woman he sees, he attaches himself very easily onto superiors, etc. Snake is a man who has spent his whole life trying to appeal to people, to get the praise he was never allowed as a child. Otacon gives him the comfort he never got. While any military superior can say Dave is the best of the best. None will look him in the face and tell him he has to live to just live.

Hal also opens a lot of doors to Snake's own discovery about himself. While this next point might sound a little cringy, stick with me. People may joke about the anime interest Snake and Otacon share, but it always came across so genuinely sweet to me. Snake's only interests up until he met Otacon have been, stop feeling lonely and war. I think even part of his musher life and interests within sledding can contribute to part of this. I mean come on, not even a regular musher keeps 50 dogs in their house and dogs are a natural remedy to loneliness. But in all seriousness, David refers to the huskies as his only family and I don't see him connecting with any other mushers he works with, it reads as him wanting to not be alone while also still being so lonely. As well as how mushing is considered a more normal interest than being an otaku, especially in the early 2000s. Mushing is a sport, and being an Otaku was pretty much unheard of or hated. Watching this guy who has been stuffed full of war propaganda scream a dorky "falcon punch" and "ninjutsu" with his best friend is so heartwarming in a way.

As well as Otacon's whole meme turned question of "do you think love can bloom on the battlefield?" Is something that I think Snake needed to be asked. It's probably been something he's been thinking about. It is also one of the most human things Snake asked throughout the game. About finding love in fear. Otacon constantly prods into Snake's heart and brings out the good in him.

Not only does Hal open up a space for Snake to have genuine unashamed interests and show true pure humanity. He also shows off their childhood. Both Hal and David never got proper childhoods. They connect that with each other through cheesy animes, talking about uncertainty in love, finding out what life is all about, navigating feelings, and through that damn cheesy handshake hug. It's all genuinely pure and wholesome love that connects what they didn't get to explore in childhood with one another. When Snake opened that piss covered locker and saved Otacon, he brought his own salvation into his life without knowing it. The very presence of Otacon saved Snake. It's why MGS4 felt so depressing for me especially, the strain between Snake and Otacon left a hole in my little heart and made Snake feel even more hopeless.

I also want to talk about how Snake benefited Otacon.

Otacon begins as cowardly and timid, he's an incredibly insecure character that struggles to connect with others, probably stemming from the issues in his younger life. When he meets Snake, he's faced with someone he could relate to that has an outward appearance that makes him seem so much more confident than he is. Snake is not this, he's as insecure as Otacon. Indirectly, Snake is the whole reason Otacon gets on his feet to take action against terrorism, takes action to become a better person. Snake shows Hal that he doesn't haven't to be strong to do the right thing. Throughout time, Snake helps Otacon come to terms with his own self worth and issues.

In MGS2, it has one of my favorite examples. The infamous bro hug scene.

Before it, this is when Otacon allows himself to open up about his childhood, not even just Infront of Snake, Infront of Raiden too. This showcased such a development in his character because he's proudly talking about it, while even through tears he doesn't hide it anymore.

Did you know that during that scene if you pan the camera to Snake, you can see that he is crying too?

When Hal has a breakdown over his sister's death, Snake is there to comfort him as well as tell him how it is in bluntness with a hand on his back that he needs to save people. It isn't cold or callous, it's letting Otacon know that he has something worth fighting for after a loss like that. Then when they face one another, they embrace each other and Snake tells Hal that he believes in him. Hal spent a lot of time as a scientist, hoping for someone to believe in him, while Snake puts all of his belief into Hal.

I can never forget the iconic "You're the only god I can pray to, Otacon" line. Snake has a deep loyalty, love, and belief in Otacon that Otacon has never been truly given before.

They both, in turn love each other till the end of their lives. Their love was one of the most heart wrenching and beautiful things in Metal Gear Solid and it's no surprise it captivated so many people. Their relationship, whether you ship them or just see them as a bromance. There is no denying the love they feel for one another as friends or lovers is one of the most iconic and sweetest bromances out theres They have impacted so much pop culture and I love them forever, as I'm sure many of you do who read all the way to the bottom.

[diagonal-queen]

Omg you're backkkk<3 I hope uni's going well for you!

Maybe the Hunting Dogs with a s/o who's kind of mean/petty?

Hunting Dogs with a mean S/O

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura (platonic), Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How are the Hunting Dogs with a mean and petty S/O?

♡ cw: Swearing, u r a BULLY >:((, dw it's pretty chill though, non-graphic NSFW with Jouno, teensy bit of NSFW with Tachihara, mentions of violence, crime and torture

note: ahhh hello yes i'm back! uni's pretty great actually. i love being able to tell people i go to law school lmao, it makes me feel smarter than i am. uhh but i've been swamped and a bit busy, and i'm going back home for a week so i might not be super active over the next couple weeks, i'm so sorry my babies </3 but i'll still be lurking in case you wanna chat! as always, apologies for errors and i hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

Mf you think he cares?? He hired Jouno and Tachihara because they committed crimes, and he's more than happy to keep Teruko around. Bro doesn't give a FUCK that you're mean

If you're dating Fukuchi you clearly do give a shit about the welfare of society and world peace, so your individual quirks are just that. Quirks

He will fully let you just be a dickhead sometimes, because...like, why not?

I feel like Fukuchi is obviously often a very intimidating individual who strikes fear and commands respect from everyone else. But you? You just walk all over him

In some ways for him it's probably kind of refreshing to have someone around him who doesn't idolise him at all, or look up to him as a superior. It gets exhausting, for sure. Sometimes he just wants to be humbled and that's so okay Fukuchi, you deserve it actually /mean-spirited and condescending

Don't get me wrong it's not like you're an abusive partner! You're still obviously nice to your partner and you love him, but you definitely don't go out of your way to sugarcoat things or try to avoid any necessary confrontations

And Fukuchi genuinely really respects that about you. He's pretty similar like that, though still definitely goofier than you

I mean he won't want you sitting around with an RBF when he's at formal events and whatnot, because that really wouldn't have the best impression, but he's usually very gung ho about letting you be yourself

You're lucky he loves you man...lmao

Jouno:

He loves it. Full stop.

You two are just sadist central over here. Like he'll be torturing a suspect and you're just watching. Bored. Not a care in the world

(Jouno, I don't think you're legally allowed to invite your partner to watch you do your job- much less one like this, but...eh...)

You two are always just talking shit about people to each other, and like when you're out in public on dates you're just whispering to each other and judging people T-T

Lowkey kinda gets turned on when you guys argue. He thinks it's hot when you get heated and angry. Usually it ends in rough "passionate hugging", and the pillowtalk is when you both actually resolve the issue (dumbasses)

He might even purposefully rile you up sometimes because mf is just THAT much of a horny degenerate. You guys can call him classy and gentlemanly all you want, but we all know he's secretly deranged

Like an angry, horny goblin with a knife...someone stop him

Tbh you should probably bully him a little bit every now and then. I think he needs to be taken down a peg sometimes

Hey, he's more likely to listen to you than Tecchou, isn't he? Besides, it's nothing genuinely malicious. Just couple's banter

Oh, you guys are fucking LEGENDS at the couple's banter. Though you never do it in public, because a lot of the times the things you both tell each other as jokes can come off as really cruel jabs

Nah your senses of humour are just not family-friendly (violent and malicious)

You guys have very strange ways of showing your love and affection. But, hey, it works for you and that's what's important :)

Tecchou:

Ah yes, arguably the least meanie of all of the Hunting Dogs. Yeah uh he doesn't really like you at first

Tecchou doesn't understand being mean just for the sake of it. I mean like, for Teruko, she uses it in her career, and Jouno is sadistic and weird and also uses it in his career. You're just petty because you can be

But the more time you spend together the more he realises that you're really not that bad- you're really just more of the loveable asshole type

An acquired taste, yes, but this is Tecchou we're talking about! That's his thing!

He learns to appreciate the things about you that many others would probably consider flaws. He influences you for the better definitely...

...BUT you also kinda make him worse

He will adopt your 'deal with it bitch' attitude sometimes, but it doesn't hinder his relationships or work so it's fiiiiine

(Jouno isn't a huge fan of it though...but at the same time he kind of respects you)

Tecchou probably won't admit it but he really likes to listen to you rant and bitch about people you don't like. He just likes to listen to you be angry about trivial things, he finds it equal parts endearing and entertaining

If you're mean to someone who deserves it? Well I mean...who is he to stop you?

At the end of the day you're definitely emotionally self-sufficient, so that's one less part of you for him to fret over. All's well that ends well or some shit idk

Teruko (platonic):

You guys are literally the best of friends

She's the loud fiery kind of mean and you are the 'I will straight up meticulously ruin your life' kind of mean

You on some r/nuclearrevenge type shit and she fucking loves that for you

Like she's fully willing to plot and scheme with you and do whatever mean shit you suggest. You two are menaces and she should absolutely not be a military soldier

Teruko WILL smite your enemies. And by smite your enemies I mean she will actively do what she can to ruin the lives of people you don't like, with absolutely no remorse (pretty sure she actually commits crimes to do this)

She LIVES for your cruel one-liners and clever insults. Every time she hears one she absolutely hollers

Teruko enjoys it when you're mean to the other Hunting Dogs (except Fukuchi). They can handle a couple bitchy words so it's not a huge deal, but she's just extra amused by it

For the record you're not *mean* mean, you're just...humbling them (which let's be real they could use from time to time (Jouno, again, looking at you))

Nobody is surprised by your guys' friendship really

You're a dangerous pair. Please stop

Teruko kinda likes that you hold grudges so frequently because she'll never tire of hearing you shittalk the same exact people and events over and over again

She'll shittalk them too

Dia doesn't approve of this friendship

Tachihara:

You guys know that scene in B99 where Jake says that he can't decide if he's scared of Amy or turned on by her and then decides that he's both? Yea, that's Tachihara with you

He is a good person at heart, and outside of his mafia gangster persona he's really not that mean, and as such he does not encourage mean behaviour. But like, when you do it? Mm...

Bro is WHIPPED

Lowkey he probably gets some of his mafia persona ideas from you 💀

His mafia coworkers have no questions about how you two get along, and they generally like you. The other Hunting Dogs have a few more questions

Tachihara isn't some shy, quiet introvert, but he is generally pretty chill and a nice person. They like to playfully tease him about how different the two of you are (though if it gets too far he knows he can count on you to rip them a new one with no issue)

Dw they still like you though! Especially Teruko

He has absolutely no problems with you for being cold and blunt. It's nothing he himself can't handle, and in some ways it actually makes talking to you easier

Again, I'll stress that you're not mean to him, you're just not the most lovey-dovey person out there. But you DO put effort in and that's what Tachihara cares about, even if it isn't in a stereotypical way

If anything else, you're certainly loyal!

Tachihara loves you for all of your different eccentricities, and he's also kinda turned on by them. Win-win? Win-win.

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen

[blimpintime]

a jar of wind part two

Wynnie Lara is a fairy that was saved from a jar from Amarantha's reign of terror, but is soon figuring out that her time of peace is coming to an end.

warnings: none besides being slightly unedited.

word count: 1.4k

4 months later 

Dearest Wynnie Lara,

I hope you are doing well, we miss you very dearly in the Night Court but understand you leaving after such harsh things were spoken to you. I wanted to invite you to Nyx’s first birthday celebration. He does miss you so much. (As do we).

After finding out what Azriel and the other two had said to you I almost blew up their homes with the help of my sisters. 

Elain misses you very much, even though she writes letters to you weekly, you and her seemed to help each other heal after everything happened to you both. She won't tell anybody where you have gone so I will be handing this letter to her in hopes it reaches you. 

We miss you so much, and I hate that the boys said those harsh things to you for no reason. You are not a bother, or suffocating, you light up every space you go into which is so refreshing, I do not want you to feel forced to come home (Nesta feels otherwise, she misses you so much she almost started a war with another court in search of you.) But we do want you to know you do have a home here. No matter what. I know Rhys feels devastated with how the situation turned out, even though it is partially his fault.  I want to make it clear how sorry we are for their actions and that we adore you. 

Lovingly, 

Feyre

I crumple the edges of the letter with tears streaming down my face, with a shaking breath I fold the letter gently and put it back into the envelope. I set it with the piles of letters Elain has sent to me on my coffee table. I wipe my face and head over to my rough looking door of the tree house that I am living in and latch it. This area of the Autumn Court has always been on the poorer side but it was home. Growing up with no family and moving around as a fairy was never safe, so before Amarantha’s reign I settled in this area of Autumn. 

Having not been to this home in two years it took a while to get it back into shape, cleaning and removing critters that have turned it into their home while I was gone. I have wind chimes and wards surrounding this home just like my other one, the difference here though is the Autumn wind is much more soothing for me then in any other court. It’s almost like my soul knows it's safe here. 

I have my wind playing soothing music with the small instruments placed around the open room. Candles lit and windows open for the utmost ambiance while I research different wind patterns.

I hear one of my chimes go off near the front door that catches my attention, I get up from the table and walk back to the door.  Frantic knocking is what I hear once I get to the door itself, I rip it open to see what is wrong. 

“Miss Wynnie!” with a sob, and I look down to see one of the kids I help take care of from the children’s shelter near my tree house. Little antlers poke through his red hair, and tears stream down his tanned face as he launches towards me. 

“Oatie what is the matter?” I say and crouch to his level. I put my hands on his shoulders to sooth him and look him in the eyes.

“Those mean guards are back at the shelter, they are demanding more money.” Oatie is a twelve year old boy who had to grow up quickly due to being an orphan partially under Beron’s rageful reign, but he was still a gentle soul. Things have started to get better slowly with the new High Lord, but it is a slow process when the court has so much hate built in. 

“Okay sweet boy, it’s going to be alright. Go curl up on the couch with a book and some tea and I will go take care of this okay?” I tell him with a soft voice. He nods and heads off that way. Once he is settled on the couch I fix my dress, and re-braid the two long braids under my bob and fly off the balcony.

When I arrive at the shelter there are two guards yelling at the volunteer on duty at the shelter. With a burst of wind I separate them from the worker, and land in front of them. I motion for the worker to go inside.

“What is the issue here?” I bark at them, their heated eyes turn to me.

“They owe us money for protection.” The one on the right says with a grunt.

“That’s your job. The High Lord literally pays you to protect the people. So that was the wrong answer, do me a favor and try again.” I say while rolling my eyes and shifting my weight to one hip. 

“You bitch.” One says and I let out a laugh with a clap of my hands. I know I probably shouldn’t egg them on but it’s so easy. As I am about to respond they both seem to stiffen and look behind me.

“Well that’s no way to speak to a lady.” I turn to face the new voice, which belongs to High Lord Eris, who recently has had his hair trimmed since the last time I saw him. 

“She is barely a lady, my lord.” One said with a snicker. I respond with a glare and a large gust of wind knocking them both over.

I turn to face Eris completely and give him a graceful curtsy grabbing the edges of my green dress. To which I receive a sucking of the teeth sound from him.

“Wynnie dear, stand up please. You don’t have to bow to me, we are old friends.” He says with a soft smile. The two guards seemed to have disappeared leaving the two of us alone. I straighten and glow a soft pink with a cheeky grin say,

“Yes, well, I have to show my respect My Lord.” He chuckles and makes a small lunge toward me, so I float backwards and he narrowly misses me. 

“You’ll have to be quicker than that to catch me sir.” He grunts a small breath and lunges towards me again. And I am suddenly reminded of when we were younger.

“Eris! Where are you?” I yell knowing he is hiding behind one of the trees with his hounds. 

“Got you!” I hear from behind me and feel my waist being pulled into someone's chest. I look up over my shoulder and see Eris with a wide grin. I pout at him. 

“That’s not fair.” I whine. “You know I am afraid of your pups, they think I am a big bird waiting to be hunted.”  He laughs in response. 

“I would never let them hurt you Wynnie Lara, I would never let anyone hurt you.” He said softly. “You are my only friend in this wretched court. I will burn it down to protect you.” 

“Eris that is sweet but, you are an heir would that not be counterproductive?” I ask teasingly but my skin glowing a bright warm orange with endearment. 

“Not for you Wynnie.” He says.

“I can’t stay in this area long, but I did want to invite you to dinner soon.”  He tells me when we both are sitting on the forest floor. Me on a rock with my wings glowing and him leaned up against it. My hands naturally find his hair and gently run my fingers through it. 

“I would love to.” I tell him, “I might visit the Night Court here soon.” I say with a whisper.

“Oh?” He asks me softly.

“Nyx is turning one and I miss the girls a little bit.” I responded.

“Yes, that's understandable. I still am beyond livid for how you were treated there.” He says back with a huff. And I laugh a little, “You and me both.” 

“I will have to send you with a gift, hmm?” He tells me. 

“That would be very kind of you, my lord.” And in response I get him standing up and pinching my sides. 

“Mercy! Mercy!” I say in between giggles. 

“Alright Wynn. I will send a letter for dinner when you return. Be safe and have a good night.” He tells me with a pat to the head and soft voice. 

a/n: soooooooooooo what do with think???

I am a sucker for soft Eris omggggg. Please if any questions please let me know!

I am trying the taglist I hope it works lmao

taglist: @cazrielsfairygf @buckyloki888 @litnerdwrites @the-fandom-ness @booksbypisces @nerdyalmondlawyerauthor

[hyunnie04]

puppy love

inspired by that one scene in skip and loafer where mitsumi pets shima's hair;; not my best but its cute jskfdh

kim seungmin x reader

genre: fluff, non-idol au

you have been staring at seungmin the entire day. not because of anything bad, it’s just that there's this one thing that has been bothering you lately. propping your fist against your chin, you let out a burdened sigh.

ever since he had dyed his hair this captivating caramel color at the start of senior year, which was only a few weeks ago, you can’t seem to get your eyes off him. 

the change was refreshing, like seeing him in a completely different light. it had suited him so well, the blondish gold complemented his features like it was supposed to be like that from the start.

whenever you would place your curious gaze on him, the gears in your mind start turning, unable to place your finger on what it reminded you of. it had definitely started to become sort of a routine for you.

you’re also pretty sure seungmin had figured out you have been burning holes at the back of his head during lectures or lunch. he would sometimes look back at you with a quirk of his lip and a questioning gaze, making you shift your focus to somewhere else, cheeks reddening like a child catching glimpses of their crush.

but now you are sure he looked like someone. but who? you’re trying to figure that out yourself.

you don’t know where this sudden fascination with his hair came from, was it because it made him look so handsome? or maybe the way it looked very cute whenever it flopped around when he moved? 

confused feelings for the caramel haired boy aside, you decide to let it go.

you were hanging out with the man himself and a bunch of other friends one afternoon and started scrolling through your phone. they wouldn’t mind, seeing as to how all of them were currently preoccupied with playing a board game.

“hey, you can’t just do that! you have to give me money!”

“i can do whatever i want!”

you subconsciously block the noise coming from your rowdy friends, very much used to the chaotic nature. your thumb landed on a really adorable picture of your sweet little puppy back at home, already missing him. a thought instantly strikes you.    

you look up from your phone. and then to seungmin. and then back to your phone. 

it’s the exact same?!

you’ve finally cracked it. he looked exactly like your family dog. comparing him to an actual dog sounded mean, but you meant this genuinely as a compliment, you absolutely adored your golden retriever puppy- haru, more than your own family. the longer you thought about it, it’s sweet demeanor and honey colored coat resembled kim seungmin right in front of you.

after thinking about this revelation, you kept it to yourself, out of context it could sound mean. the last thing you wanted was to offend someone when you meant it in an endearing way.

so upon walking home one day, hurried footsteps trailed behind yours, prompting you to turn to see who it was. it was seungmin himself, his hair flopping in the wind, resembling the cutest pair of puppy ears.

he finally stopped, panting heavily after chasing you for a good while now. he straightened up, opening his adorable mouth to say something to you.

you couldn’t help yourself, the thought of wanting to feel his soft looking hair.

“haru-” you cover your mouth as soon as the words left it, extremely mortified to have said it out loud.

“haru? who’s that?” seungmin teases your increasingly flustered state. “are you mistaking me for someone else?” it was too late, you have to explain now.

“no...its...my…family’s dog…” you blurted out, embarrassed of saying it in front of him. you had fully expected him to get mad but he doesn’t. instead, seungmin lets out a chuckle, his eyes crinkling in what seems to be delight.

“well, my hair is really soft.” he watches your face morph into confusion as he tucks his hands coyly into his pockets. he wasn’t mad?

 “do you want to touch? you've been staring at it all week.”

seungmin wasn’t known for being touchy with his friends or anyone for that matter so you can imagine the shock on your face when he leans down to your level, silently allowing you to do so.

placing a hesitant touch on his honey hued locks with one hand, you slowly bring your other to ruffle his head, really going at it and much like you would do to haru. a grin graces your features as his strands get messed up, absolutely elated that you now know what his hair feels like.

once you were done, he straightens up and pats his messy hair back in its place as best as he can. seungmin quietly wraps an arm around your shoulder, as if nothing happened.

“got it out of your system?” you nod gleefully.

“good, now i can ask you out for a date.”

[novvabee]

The Boys in the Band

ok... I am extremely sick and extremely stressed about the current state of the world so I wrote a few things to make me feel better. also if you think of a better name for the girl's band lmk cause I am not entirely sold.

Summary: the boys start a band called The Marauders

cw: sorry i am not good at these but there is swearing, drugs/smoking, and mention of vomit

Word count: 2.6k

James was quite hung over. More hungover than he had been in a long time. He felt as if someone cracked one of the many bottles he finished last night over his head. He needed a cigarette, possibly another shot.

He made his way through the mess of a hallway, bottles and plastic cups lying around, he was sure someone's puke was streaming down the wall. He can’t remember half of the party, he remembers playing Sirius in some drinking game and losing, snogging some brunette who’s name he can’t recall and her being eager to go back up to his room, and lastly, he remembers Lily walking into the kitchen, her friends in tow, not seeing James or maybe just pretending not to see him.

He couldn’t blame her really, he knows he fucked up. He knows that she was angry with him, and that she may never speak to him again. And that would be fine, if that’s what she chose. His head started spinning, he couldn't be thinking about all that right now.

He decided to seek Sirius and Remus out. He shared this grungy, tiny apartment with his two best friends, and they were quite happy indeed. All three of them scrounged up every penny they could to pay for the place, living from paycheck to paycheck, but he wanted to do it with them. He would rather struggle with the people he loved most than sit comfortably in his family’s wealth alone.

He entered the living room to find Sirius laying face down on the couch, not moving. Remus was in the armchair next to him, hunched over his knees, hands over his eyes.

“Nice to see I’m not the only one who looks as shit as they feel” James announced to the room.

Sirius, face still in buried the couch, mumbled back “Speak for yourself, loverboy.”

James rolled his eyes and threw his gaze to Remus who leaned back in the chair and shrugged. James knew it was Remus who invited Lily last night, he knew they were still friends. He couldn’t blame Remus for inviting her, but it would feel a lot better if they wouldn’t then bring it up the next day.

He shook his head and made his way to the balcony, opening the door and stepping out into the refreshing cold. He brought a cigarette to his lips and flicked the lighter once, twice, three times. Why the fuck wasn’t it working? He heard the door open and close behind him, then Sirius lighting his own cigarette and tossing the lighter to James. Thankful, James lit his cigarette and took a long drag.

“How you fairing?” Sirius asked from beside James, looking out towards the city beyond.

James chuckled “I feel like I’ve been hit by a train but no worse than last time.”

Sirius smirked, now looking at James “I meant about seeing her, mate”

James would rather be anywhere else right now, with anyone else, talking about anything else. This is not what he wants to be confronting while trying not to throw up or pass out. He just shrugged. That is all he could manage to do.

Sirius nodded, understanding that he didn’t want to talk about it but there was more to talk about. New revelations were made at the party last night.

“Well uh… I have some great news, and some not so great news. Which would you like to hear first?” Sirius asked, taking another drag of his cigarette.

James groaned. Too early. Too hungover. Too emotionally drained for bad news. “The great news please.”

Sirius smiled. “Well, we have a gig tomorrow night at The Common Room. A couple bands were selected for a sort of festival for local bands and artists.” 

James’s mood instantly lifted. This was amazing news. They had amassed a good sized fan base who were very loyal and dedicated to The Marauders. When he performed, he really felt the rockstar live that they were chasing. Needless to say, the gig will be a success if they are able to reach other fan bases as well as their own.

“That’s great!” James exclaimed. He was ready to rehearse and prepare for the upcoming night. What could the bad news possibly be? “And… the other news?” He asked Sirius.

Sirius turned and took another drag of his cigarette, delaying the news. “We have the final slot, we’ll be the last band to perform.” He said. James was just waiting for the bad in that. That's actually great news. Headliners. 

“Ok?” James said, confused.

“There's a band going on right before us,” obviously, James thought. “And uh… it's a new girl group that Lily put together.” Sirius finally got out.

Oh… he was going to have to perform right after… Ok well, he wanted to be a professional didn’t he? Things like this happen all the time. He just, never expected that she would actually do it. They talked about it a few times but he never… he never took her seriously. Perhaps this is just another hobby that she wants to take up that she will inevitably get bored of like painting or knitting, she has a habit of that. Or maybe… she's doing this to get back at him in some way. Great. 

“Alright well, it’s fine. I’m just excited to headline. Right?” he said to Sirius who was relieved. James wasn’t a wreck or angry.

“Exactly mate.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The boys were ready. They had practiced all day yesterday and today, not to mention all the gig experience they already had. Mind you, they were mostly used to bars or parties or the occasional opener for another small local band, nothing like this so far. 

They walked in through the backdoor entrance of the venue. The Common Room was on the older side, but a lot of people had performed here, it was sort of a local legendary spot. James was ecstatic. He remembered coming here with his parents when he was little to see live shows. He saw his first real concert here with Sirius and Remus when he was about 14. This place held so many memories for him, and he felt that it was quite a full circle moment.

They walked through the halls backstage to get to their dressing room. They opened the door and saw countless guitars and cases. Hair curlers and products scattered in front of the mirrors, makeup tossed everywhere, clothes strewn about the entire room. The boys looked around, but they were the only ones in there.

James found the one area that seemingly wasn't already taken. All the bands must be sharing the room. 

Sitting on one sofa in the back corner, the boys rolled a joint and started smoking it, their pre-gig ritual. 

Remus passed the joint to James and looked to Sirius. “Do you know the other groups performing tonight?” he asked

“No?” Sirius replied. “I don’t actually know everyone ya know. Just a lot of people.” then took the joint from James.

“I just mean,” Remus paused. “I don’t know if your brother is here or not.”

Sirius’s brother Regulus, was also in a band. Another quite popular local band. Their style was more indie and underground compared to The Marauders' bold rock style. The snakes, they were called, something that drove Sirius up a wall for some reason. Everything Regulus did affected him like that and vice versa. 

“He’s not.” Sirius said a bit too fast. Trying not to sound jealous.

“But Lily is here? Right?” James asked, trying to take the attention off of Sirius’s brother and maybe make him relax. Remus just nodded and looked to the floor.

“What are they like? I mean… would they even be good?” Sirius asked.

Remus sighed, feeling uncomfortable for being but in the middle of Lily and James. “They're pretty good I think, I mean they're here too right? Just like us.”

“I didn't know any of them sang. Lily is pretty good but Mary and Marlene? They don't strike me as singers.” Sirius said matter of factly. 

“They have a new girl with them. She’s the singer.” Remus replied.

A new girl? With them? Lily, Mary, and Marlene had been attached at the hip for as long as James could remember. That's why it was so hard to ask her out in the first place, he could never get a moment alone with her.

“She was at the party, I talked to her for a few minutes. She seems pretty cool, I just don't know what direction they are going to go.”

“I guess we’ll see.” Sirius said smugly, there was no chance that they were going to come close to The Marauders tonight.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The boys decided to watch the other bands for a while in the wings. There was some great talent, and each group had a small following there at the venue. The boys already recognized some of their fans in the audience.

They were going to watch the rest of this band’s set, then make their way to start getting ready for their own. That was the plan anyway, until James couldn’t move. The current band finished and walked off after taking a bow. James just had to catch a glimpse of Lily’’s new band. He stood firm even when Remus was trying to pull him away, saying they needed to go.

The lights turned to a fluorescent pink and red, and some fans started cheering. James just needed that one look.

And there she was. Lily, Mary, and Marlene took their places on stage at their instruments, and following was… you. 

James had never seen a more confident and vibrant young woman. He had of course seen Lily, but something about you just screamed performer, entertainer, star. The whole vibe of the audience seemed to have shifted at your presence. All of you were wearing short black sparkly shorts with tights verrying in rippedness, and black Doc Martens. You all were uniform, except in the color of your bralettes; Marlene in black, Mary in pink, Lily in purple, and you in red. You all looked feminine but with an edge.

You waved to the crowd. “Hello Common Room” you drawled. The crowd cheered and screamed, waiting to hear your music. “I am so happy to be here and share our very first performance with you lovely people.” you were charming the crowd, almost unintentionally, but there they were waiting for what you would say next. “Before we begin, I’d like to introduce you to some of my friends. Here on guitar, we have the lovely Mary MacDonald!” The crowd cheered and Mary played a little to show off her skills. “Next we have Miss Lily Evans on bass!” again the crowd cheered and she too showed off a little. “Finally, this is the beautiful, the extraordinary, Marlene Mckinnon!” She too received a round of applause and showed her skills on the drums. “And I am Y/N and we are The Pixies!”

You went into your first song of the night and the crowd was loving it, they were dancing and enjoying the set. The same could be said for your second and third songs. You had the crowd going, the energy bouncing around the room. You changed to a ballad for your fourth song, showing off your vocal range.

Your fifth and final song’s intro started and you decided to work the crowd a bit more. They were seeming happy with your performance so far, so you decided it was time to poke a little. Have a little more fun on stage.

“Alright for this text one, I want to see all the girls, gays, and theys dancing and letting loose!” The crowd went wild. “And I wanna see all the boys go to the back of the room.” There was cheering mixed with some confusion. “I’m serious, I wanna make a dancefloor for all my friends so… shoo.” you said, determined. There was a lot of cheering and giggling while the crowd shuffled. “That is much better. This next one is called Red Wine Supernova, I hope you like it.” 

You stared walking and dancing around stage while singing;

She was a Playboy, Brigitte Bardot

She showed me things I didn't know

She did it right there, out on the deck

Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck

I'm in the hallway waitin' for ya

Mini skirt and my go-go boots (uh-huh)

I just want you to make a move

So slow down, sit down, it's new

I just wanna get to know ya

Guess I didn't quite think it through (nah-uh, girl)

Fell in love with the thought of you

Now I'm choked up, face down, burnt out

Baby, why don't you come over?

Red wine supernova, falling into me

(Let's pick it up now)

I don't care that you're a stoner

Red wine supernova, fall right into me

You walked up to Lily and started to sing with her and she would reply:

I like (I like) what you like (what you like)

Long hair (no bra) that's my type (that's right)

You just told me, want me to fuck you

Baby, I will 'cause I really want to

I just wanna get to know ya

Guess I didn't quite think it through (nah-uh, girl)

Fell in love with the thought of you

Now I'm choked up, face down, burnt out

Baby, why don't you come over?

Red wine supernova, falling into me

(Okay, y'all, let's pick it up now)

I don't care that you're a stoner

Red wine supernova, fall right into me

And now, You Mary, and Lily were all centerstage singing and dancing your hearts out:

Well, back at my house

I've got a California king

Okay, maybe it's a twin bed

And some roommates (don't worry, we're cool)

I heard you like magic

 I've got a wand and a rabbit

So baby, let's get freaky, get kinky

Let's make this bed get squeaky

Baby, why don't you come over?

Red wine supernova, falling into me

I don't care that you're a stoner

Red wine supernova, fall right into me

The applause that followed, you never would have imagined. This performance went off without a hitch, Mary rushed over to you bouncing up and down, saying how well you did and how proud of you she was. You four bowed and waved to the still cheering crowd and left the stage. You all immediately broke into conversation about how well it was, you lovely you all sounded, the atmosphere, mostly talking over each other and running from sentence to sentence, but you all felt like you just ran a marathon, there was so much electricity surrounding you.

The giggling and excitement lasted another few moments until you heard the last group enter the stage. They had just as much support as you if not more, there was a lot of screaming and cheering. You wanted to see what the deal was.

You made your way to the wing of the stage and peeked out to see three boys, taking the applause. They were what a typical boy band looked like to you; young, attractive, fit boys who played their instruments very well. You lingered, listening to them warm up on their instruments, showing off for the crowd. You definitely caught some girls in the crown blushing and flirting with their eyes. Who were these guys?

“Hello ladies and gentlemen, we are The Marauders.”

Let me know if you wish to be tagged in this one 💌

[r6eduss]

I really wish you’d make up your mind.

•Summary: Daryl comes over for a smoke, who knew things would get so deep? (Fem reader)

•Warnings: 18+, Drug use, a teeny tiny bit suggestive but no smut, mentions of abuse, Stoner!Reader, Angst.

•Word Count: 2.3k.

•Setting: The Commonwealth

•A/N: Heavily inspired by Kimdracula by deftones. I have always thought Daryl is deathly afraid of labels on relationships, so here’s me implementing that into my writing. I love writing for the commonwealth era also let’s also pretend deftones lines up with twd timeline 🫢

Tension.

Tension was always the main thing between you and Daryl. For the longest time since the farm, you two have had something—something that can’t be explained by just simple words.

The both of you have kissed before, but for some reason never have said anything of it. Most people thought you two were a couple, but you don’t know what you two are. one thing for sure, is that you love each other. Platonic or not, you both have always stuck out for each other and world knows Daryl would fight to the ends of the earth to keep you and the rest of his family alive and safe.

Though right now, you haven’t seen much of Daryl, and that’s surprising considering he was your neighbor. Everyone from Alexandria have still been settling in, and he’s been incredibly busy, so have you with your new job settlement.

Suddenly being employed in the apocalypse definitely left you stoked, but you kind of enjoyed it unlike Daryl and the others. It was a bittersweet feeling, left you thinking maybe the world still does have a chance.

With some of the hard earned money that you managed to work up, you decided to head to town looking for music. It’s always been a huge comfort for you, helping you overcome challenges you had to face even before the fall, and you hoped maybe they had some of your favorite albums. Your eyes were set on the storefront at the end of the block, and you soon approached. A sign hung above it, faded but clear. “The Record Shop” and a faint sound of music leaked through the door. On entering, hearing the door chime you’re greeted with a familiar face.

“Welcome!- Oh shit hey!” It was Princess’ shift today, and honestly it was rather refreshing to see her face, you haven’t seen really anybody else you had known.

Looking around for a moment, you take in the decorations. You soon face Princess, giving her a warm smile.

“Hey! How have you been?”

“It’s been great! It’s been great.. How about you?” She responded, excited to be speaking with you.

“I’ve been good! I’m glad things are going well for you Princess.” You were kind of lying, things weren’t really good for you.. it’s been hard adjusting to this kind of life, you’ve always felt as if the apocalypse saved you in a way.

“I’m happy for you dude! Well did you come here to buy something?”

“Yeah actually, do you guys have deftones?” You were hoping to god they did. You were in such a need to listen to your favorite album, and the last time you did was years ago.

You can see her lips curve into a small smirk, as she points to the left. “Yep! All the way to the last aisle on the left.”

You’ve never felt as happy as you felt now.

“Thanks!” You quickly pick up your feet, rushing to the aisle that Princess pointed to. Upon arrival, you quickly scan the area in attempts to find your favorite album “Saturday Night Wrist”.

All you could spot was Around the Fur and White pony as you sifted through the records, fingers brushing against the glossy covers, the album you were looking for nowhere in sight. To be honest, you were a little disappointed, until you spot that beautiful untouched record hidden behind one of the Metallica covers right next to the ones you were looking through. It was very obviously the last one in stock.

You bit your lip while smirking in happiness, grabbing the album and basking in it, the cover still haunting and beautiful just as you remembered. After about 30 seconds of reminiscing, you head to the checkout where Princess was.

“That all?”

“Yep!”

“That’s 30!”

You hand her a 20 and a 10, and she proceeds to print out your receipt. “It was so good seeing you! And hey, don’t be a stranger!” She hands you what you came there for, and waves you off with a grin. You politely tell her goodnight and make your way to your apartment.

A few days ago you had asked Daryl and Judith if you could borrow that record player he had bought for her, since you were planning on buying some music. Of course they agreed, so you knew exactly what you were doing when you got home.

Just as you got to your destination, you spotted Daryl walking up to his own apartment, quickly taking notice of you. “Hey Daryl.” You already felt a bit tense, Daryl looked incredibly exhausted.

“Hey.”

Well this was kind of awkward, you greeted him but didn’t really know how to continue the conversation, until an idea sprang through you. “I uh, finally bought some music. Wanna join me in listening and have a smoke?” He seems like he could use a get away, and you have just the remedies to relax him.

You watched as he looks down at the floor, biting the inside of his lip before responding while slightly nodding his head. “Yea, Yea sure. Ya stayin’ up?” He started to swirl his thumbs together, you always thought it was really cute when he did that.

“Yeah, for a bit. C’mon I’m so excited to unwrap this.” You used your key to unlock your apartment door and enter, leaving the door open for Daryl as he quickly proceeds behind you.

He closes the door behind you both, locking it and following you to your room. It was dimly lit, bathed in the soft glow of candles around. “Hold this.” You hand Daryl the vinyl, before walking over to your drawer, pulling out rolling paper, an herb grinder, a lighter, and some weed. “Sorry, give me a second to do this, then we can put the album on the record player.” He nods, and goes to sit down on the corner of your neatly folded bed.

You go about crushing the marijuana, feeling the uncomfortableness of the situation seep into you. You and Daryl haven’t seen each other in weeks, now all of a sudden you invited him in for a smoke?

The silence starts becoming painfully sharp, so you begin at your poor attempts at starting conversation. “So how have you been settling in?” He looks up, staring at your figure then at your face, watching your movements as you proceed to add the cannabis onto the rolling paper. “I’ve been ‘Ight.” Wow. Was he normally this bland?

“Hm, that’s good. How are the kids?” Please Daryl, give a response that you can actually open a conversation to.. “They been good. Judith is doin’ better than her whole class.”

Finally, something worth answering. Your heart warms up for a moment, remembering that the kids are finally getting a real experience of what school is. You and Daryl are both incredibly thankful that the children are going to have a chance at a semi normal childhood.

“I’m not surprised at all.. Judith is so smart.” You finished up rolling the joint, sealing it with a lick. You turn to face the man you’ve grown to love, passing it to him while taking the record out of his hands, pulling out the vinyl from its frame and heading to where the record player is. This entire situation has got you feeling excited, being able to finally listen to one thing you missed before the dead rose, and doing it with your favorite person. You carefully place it onto the record player, moving the tonearm and playing it.

The first song that played was Hole in the Earth, and it gave you a type of skin crawling sensation that you just couldn’t explain.

Turning to Daryl, you take back the joint and light it. If you weren’t so focused on what you were doing, you would’ve noticed how he was staring at you, admiring everything you were doing, noticing how you felt when the music started playing, and being so entranced with how your hips swayed.

You took your first hit, soon after passing it to Daryl so he can also take a draw. He grabs the joint but he doesn’t bring it to his lips right away. He keeps his gaze on your face, looking you over before taking a deep inhale. He lets the smoke slowly spill from his mouth, while carefully making sure to blow it away from you. He passes it back to you, still maintaining eye contact. The tension was overbearing, and by the way he was looking at you, it was almost impossible not to feel flutters in your stomach.

The slow, moody guitar riff filling the space between you both accompanied with the scent of burning sage lingering in the air mixing with the sharp tang of weed, was making the tension rise all the more. You took a slow drag from the joint, eyes never leaving his, exhaling lazily and letting the smoke swirl between the two of you.

“You okay?” You ask, your voice light and teasing, catching the twitch of nerves in him. Daryl gave a small grunt, nodding and shifting his weight, his gaze flickering between your lips and the joint. He wasn’t used to moments like this—quiet, intimate.

You smiled gently, a little sly, while slowly leaning closer, feeling buzzed while the drug does its job. “Wanna shotgun it?”

Daryl swallowed hard. He wasn’t expecting something so bold, it’s not like you. But the idea of your lips so close, sharing the smoke between you, sent a ripple of emotion through him. So he gave you a nod, wanting more of this confident side of you.

You took another slow hit, eyes smoldering as you leaned in, lips barely parting. “Come here.” You whispered.

Daryl hesitated for a fraction of a second before leaning forward, feeling the heat of your breath as you exhaled into his mouth, smoke filling his lungs. All he could focus on was how close you were, the smell of your hair, and how beautiful you looked.

Before either of you could stop, the moment stretched, and your lips hovered near his. There was a beat, then two, before instinct took over. You closed the gap, pressing your mouth softly against his. Daryl was left caught off guard, still kissing you back.

The music throbbed around you as the kiss deepened, a mixture of nerves and heat rising. The joint, forgotten and placed onto the ashtray as Daryl’s hand found its way on your back, pulling you closer.

The kiss lingered longer than either of you expected. Your lips were soft and tasted of marijuana. He found himself sinking into the warmth of the moment, the aroma that had been hanging between you dissolving into something he wasn’t sure how to handle. His hands, rough and scarred, tightened around your waist, but there was a gentleness in the way he held you that surprised even him.

You kissed him slowly, as if you had all the time in the world, and Daryl could feel something stir inside him, something unfamiliar, almost unsettling. It wasn’t the impulsive thrill of survival, or the adrenaline of his attempts to protect himself from his father, it was something softer. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever. His mind was racing, trying to make sense of the warmth spreading through his chest, the vulnerability.

You pulled back just a little, breath still warm on his lips, and your forehead resting lightly against his. You smiled, eyes searching his to try and figure him out.

Suddenly, it hit him.

He wasn’t used to this, wasn’t built for it. The closeness, the intimacy, the unspoken understanding in the way you looked at him. He was a man of instinct, not one for quiet moments that left him raw and uncertain. He wasn’t sure what he expected when your lips first met, but this— whatever this was, was way more than he could handle.

Daryl blinked, pulling back a few inches, breaking the connection between you. His hand, still on your waist, fell away, as if it had become too heavy to hold them there any longer.

“I— I cant.” He muttered, the words rough, barely forming in his throat. He stood up abruptly, moving his wavy locs from his face, stepping back as if the space between you could somehow shield him from the feelings creeping up inside him.

You looked up at him, confused. “What are we Daryl?” He can’t just kiss you then walk away? What was this?

“I don’t know.” He responded low, looking at the ground, anywhere but your face. You could hear your favorite song begin to play on the record player, this is not how you would’ve wanted to enjoy it for the first time in years.

“I should get goin’” he mumbled, already heading for the door.

You didn’t stop him, instead, feeling the tears swell up in your eyes, you responded with a simple “okay”.

He paused at the door, his hand resting at the handle. He could hear the sadness in your voice, but he didn’t look back. He couldn’t. If he did, he might see something in your eyes that would make it even harder to walk away.

“I’ll see ya ‘round,” he muttered, before leaving your room and heading for your front door, exiting your apartment. You began to cry, feeling confused and angry, sitting alone in your room listening to your song, comforting you, just like it did before the fall. As Daryl was still processing it all, the night air hit him, clearing his mind a bit but not enough to shake this unfamiliar weight in his chest.

He wasn’t sure what had just happened, all he knew was that it was too much, too real, and it scared him. He wasn’t the type to let anyone in, and yet, in that small dim lit room, he had felt something that had shook him to his core.

But for now, he pushed it down, like he always did, and walked away.

@vampiresluv

[coline7373]

hi, so I kinda fell out of the codywan fandom for a while but I really like your taste based on your fic rec lists I've found. Is there any chance you'd share a couple of fics you liked from last year? Maybe ones that aren't so obvious (like the ones with thousands of kudos are pretty easy to find). If not sorry for bothering you it's not a must of course!

Missile Toes and White Banthas by Ace Raven of Clan Chaos (Music_is_life_2788) (1K)

Lifeday comes once a year, but the trauma of family gatherings is eternal.

A holiday gift exchange written for a holiday gift exchange - it's exchange inception XD

Light-hearted lifeday gift exchange. Rex is out of ideas. Codywan is around the corner and at the end. Sweet and fun!

You be my detonator by Saerus2665 (1K)

“I see they’re just letting anyone on rescue missions these days.” Ben says this as if he’s not currently lying crumpled on his side in a pool of blood in a cold, damp basement. Cody rolls his eyes and does one last quick scan of the room, before stepping around the two bodies on the floor. Or: Agent Ben Kenobi winds up in a sticky situation after a mission gone wrong. Luckily, Cody's there for the rescue.

Spies Modern AU Codywan!!! Not Mr & Mr SMith, they are working for the same side ;) Funny, witty and filled with action. The author makes the most of those 1K

Father War by prouvairablehulk (2K)

We’re damned, after all, through fortune and flame we fall - and if you can stay, then I’ll show you the way (In which 2224 is Cody is Kote is Kote, but more emphatically; or, the Cody-is-Mithras fic that came from being obsessed with my Masters Thesis and Clone Wars at the same time)

Funny. Lovely. And a companion in my mind of that fic in reverse, where it happens to Obi-Wan. But here, it is Kote who gets a little godhood. As a treat.

most things may never happen: this one will by jaigeye (2K)

Cody looks at the bombs bursting overhead. It's friendly fire, and he's beneath it. The heat spewing from it is swift and lacks remorse. It'll melt metal through your hands. Meat doesn't mean anything to light. It goes right through. 

This one isn’t codywan but, by God, if I’m recc-ing any fic, then I’m putting down this one as well. Cody-centric. Fantastic. And I do mean fantastic. About the clones and the droids in Star Wars, and the war and Cody and…

It made me crazy. Crazy.

Must . Read.

half-octopus stewjoni biology no-longer-WIP-now-published-HERE-on-AO3! by passeridae (4.9K)

"Say that again?" Cody pauses, halfway to armouring himself after his checkup, and looks over at Helix. Surely he'd misheard. Helix, eyes rolled towards the off-white ceiling of the medbay as if praying for patience, repeats, "I said, unless you've been having some exceptionally weird sex I don't know about, you've got a prostate tumour." "Weird sex," Cody parrots, his mind helpfully replaying the most debauched trysts he'd had with his General in the past few months. 

The fandom’s usual take for Stewjon is that it’s a hybrid of space!Scotland-Japan and its people are dualsex (even though it’s more often wrongly tagged intersex, which is not the same thing). Not here. Here, stewjoni are half-octopi. They aren’t(?) were-octopi, but half-octopi. Read to find out how. I promise it works. Don’t be frightened by the tags.

What I really liked (other than this little pearl of worldbuilding), is the change to the usual mpreg trope. It’s not Obi-Wan, it’s Cody who carries. It’s not a secret, the main parties involved know about it straight away. Cody is not having A Crisis, the idea makes him happy. Just very refreshing all around.

Medical practices done right. “Normal” pregnancy happening off-screen for a value of normal. “Normal” birth. Started as crack taken seriously then somehow veers sharply off course toward the last part as it becomes bittersweet and happy and joyful and philosophical. Reflection on attachment, the circle of life and all that. Future unknown but ends on a positive note. Loved it.

Dawn by Serie11 (7K)

Obi-Wan had thought of many possibilities, of what his and Cody's life after the war would look like. A child hadn't been among them.

Trans Obi-Wan. Unplanned Pregnancy. Tatooine AU. Heartbreaking. Good ending, though. You don’t stay heartbroken, even if you keep on crying.

Your Smile In Stone by ecarian (8k)

Wooley: can we arrest people for yelling this early? There were two figures standing at the foot of General Kenobi's statue with their backs to Wooley, an adult with a hood, and a child with light hair. The child was pointing at a puddle of Temple tookas who were curled up in General Kenobi’s lap, lounging in the stone folds of his robes, the bend of his knee. Wooley: belay that. Child nuisance.

Clones overthrow the Empire and then… Well.

New Republic and all that.  Sure. They are free, which is nothing to scoff at. But the Senate still voted for the end of the Republic and the jedi are still dead. Aren’t they?

The end… My heart, oh, my heart. Prepare handkerchiefs. By the buckload.

bell tower by smoosey (smooseys) (12K)

In gesture and word and deed, Obi-Wan had made it clear that he saw, in Cody, the same inpollutable, infinite thing that lit the stars. The same Force that had Obi-Wan supplicant his whole life long, luminous under daylight, luminous in the dark, luminous candle-lit, kneeling into the song of the Light. And Cody thinks a part of him has spent the long years since, too, on his knees – in grief, in penance, in duty, in love, and in his memory. But Obi-Wan is alive.

WIP, just once chapter, but what a chapter.

Between hallucinations and dreams, a real communication through the stars with the ghost of his former general or what the spirit of Cody, the purge soldier, concocted to protect himself, a poem, a delirium, a mea cupla screamed at the stars, a fantasy dreamed by a soldier eaten away by the horrors committed by his hands, the State he represents and the atrocities we undertake by ourselves, reality or imagination, metaphor of guilt and forgiveness or real and visceral torture.

PT-2224 made a mistake. Vader makes him pay. Cody is there and not there at the same time. An escape and a voluntary march of his executioner's body towards the final destination.

Incredible. Fantastic. A trip like no other.

Facile Felicity by br1ghtmouth (14K)

Primary functions are supposed to be useful: survive against all odds; shield one’s battalion; fight until the very last breath. Cody would prefer anything besides the bleeding heart he’s been dealt. Or: the General makes plans. Cody follows.

Very fun concept! Lovely characterisation! And, of course, my favorite No-O 66 AU!

True Plain Hearts do in the Faces Rest

by SpaceWall (21.9K)

“We won’t enforce whatever they put forward,” Adi said, “In fact, we won’t fight at all unless they guarantee the clones the right to pursue and refuse soulmate bonds as every citizen of the Republic may. (...)” “You could lose us the war.” “Or we could win it,” Obi-Wan pointed out, “and win it by deserving to, rather than by giving in to that which this order stands against.” Adi’s proposal to offer the senate a bald refusal passed unanimously.

I really liked this one and it’s partly because the codywan is not necessarily romantic. It’s not tagged as such and the connection only happens at the end so I think it’s up to the reader whether they imagine it happening later on or not. It wasn’t necessary for me. 

Cody and Obi-Wan connected on the level of their souls. Nothing, not even romance, can be more meaningful than that.

It was heart wrenching at times and it made me reflect a lot. Not everyone get their happy ending. It’s also a great new take on the soulmate trope and what The Sign is (colorblind vs colored vision, tattooed first/last words, dream/pain/sexual fantasy sharing, ect. And now, A True Smile!!! Because you smile with your eyes, which are the window to the soul. Get it?)

Turn it on to a new kind of bright by rolo_rulu, Saerus2665 (41K)

Someone rolls him over onto his back. “Hnnngh…” Ben blinks his eyes open. There’s a man looking down at him, haloed in the bright light of the sun. (...) “Are—are you an angel?” Ben finds himself saying. He doesn't know if it's the heat or his poor instinctive attempt at flirting that makes him say it. The man squints at him, brow furrowing, clearly caught off guard. “Uh—are you a banana?” OR: The one in which Cody is a hot surfer and Ben’s a biologist who just so happens to be filling in for his brother at his summer job at a perfectly normal, definitely not shady, beachside banana-stand.

Some levity in this recc list!!!! There is no great plot with the Fate of the Universe at stake. This is one of these delightful type of fic that are just… fanfic-y. I don’t know how else to describe it XD

The premise is crackish. The execution is hilarious. The author and artist who work on this (check their accounts out!) were obviously having a hell of a time on this LSD trip together. It also has its sweet moments, its aching moments, moments serious or sad.

Fox is there and amazing. Vos too, stealthily. Obi-Wan is A Nerd and so loveable for it. Cody is so freaking cool. The story keeps throwing you off and making you laugh. The art blows. Uncomplicated and yet rich and varied. Have a grand old time, without becoming anxious about the Meaning of Life Itself.

Just… a cute, funny love story. Happening in a Modern Setting. This is the king of stuff I’m on ao3 for. Gold stars.

Six Months In A Leaky Boat by passeridae (47K)

The year is 1998. Australia is fucked to hell and back, but its neighbour New Zealand is doing surprisingly alright. Well, if it wasn't for the supply shortages, persistent earthquakes, and the government's increasing heavy handed attempts at censorship. Cody, a presenter at Radio Hauraki, is particularly pissed about that last thing. And he knows just what to do about it, too — all they need is a boat. Radio Hauraki started life as pirate radio back in the sixties, what's stopping them from going back on the waves? Also, if his coworker, Obi-Wan, could stop making his life a living hell that'd be great, but Cody is pretty sure the world will end for real before that happens.

Modern Dystopia happening in a 90’s Alternative Universe. Activism. Civil disobedience. The author must be from NZ itself because how else would they have so much knowledge about the slang, the culture, the places? Historical accuracy used like a punch to punctuate the story’s point. Fail gay men. Gay love.

I love the idea of a couple uniting while they are constructing something. This story, though, is less about the boat itself, but the journey they take toward that point. It’s mostly from Cody’s POV while the world, society and democracy is slowly imploding around him. 

At first, he tries to obey the law because he doesn’t want to suffer from discrimination. But as the story goes on, he just can’t follow it anymore because to do so would be to let people die when he could have helped save them. And so he fights.

Various characters take this journey too, along-side him, in the background.

In an extremely vivid New-Zealand setting, with an original format (written, audio, pictures, links to songs…), a story all the more impactful by what we’re currently all living through, two men falling in love and many people rallying for Fairness and Justice.

Amazing.

|vidur viduvasario| by littlekaracan (76K)

There, peeking out from between the grasses, was the glittering and unmistakable head of a grass snake. Cody blinked. Twice. “I – “ he began, and realized he didn’t quite know what to say. “Forgive me, are you – the grass snake, there?” The grass snake’s head twitched – as if reacting to his voice. He saw a flash of its forked tongue, and – “That would be me, yes.”

Between fairytale, folks tale Shakespearean-flavored, and TCW medieval AU. Obi-Wan is not a were-snake or cursed or about to give Cody an apple. He’s just… a snake. And not. I cannot explain too much away without spoiling the story but it was great.

No big, galactic stakes. Just Cody living in a village with his many, many brothers and meeting a snake. That’s it.

Done so well I kept thinking about it for weeks afterwards. Lovely.

|slâfst du, friedel ziere| by littlekaracan (64K)

“Help me,” he whispered, desperate for something he could not understand, and could feel the dirt slowly trickling into the emptiness of his eyes.

A moment of silence, and the voice relented.

“Come to me,” it whispered, and he wanted nothing more. “Come to me, darling, and I will do my best.”

That author decided to slay their readers without mercy and I am here for it. Willing head on the chopping block. Chopchopchop.

2224 is starting to reach the end of his shelf life. Amidst a fevered dream (or a vision?), he embarks on a final mission. That he fails, of course, just like he failed at dying.

Past the reunion of two battered traumatized men, between a journey toward self-forgiveness and the acceptance of the horror of their past and present, a healing of the minds, while Cody’s body is hurling toward death.

Happy ending, of course. I couldn’t stand it otherwise. But boy, there was a knot in my throat the whole while. And that passage where Obi-Wan [insert spolier]... I had to stop to straight up cry.

|keep the wolves away| by littlekaracan (59K, so far)

They saw her around Mos Eisley, sometimes, lingering by the repair shop where her father worked or sitting atop the crates strewn about the street. She had strange eyes - aged and watchful and inquisitive, even more so perhaps than the other children around her, although all of them had grown up too early all the same. (...) There was something important that Reva Sevander had learned throughout the last hours she spent in what once had been a safe haven, lying atop her murdered clanmates and trying not to make a sound as the stench of their deaths grew more and more oppressive - nothing, least of all tomorrow, was ensured.

I have recc-ed this author and I will recc them again! This one is a WIP and it is announced codywan, which is why I gave myself permission to cheat by putting it there since where it stopped, it hasn’t happened yet. But, if it ever becomes finished, I know it will be as brilliant as the rest. 

For someone who had many, many, many, many critics about the Kenobi Show, how they created the character of Reva (who, by all right, should have been awesome) and that hasn’t found a fic where I was able to enjoy her, I was absolutely bowled over by how much it made me root for her.

Yoda and Obi-Wan go to the Temple, before they decide to split to fight Sidious and Anakin respectively. They find Reva. They pick her up. And then, of course, someone has to take her with them when they decide to hide. Spoiler alert: it’s not Yoda.

It’s told from the POV of Reva and Obi-Wan broke my heart as well as made me want to shake him until his teeth rattle. I would be hard pressed to find a child in a fanfic described and characterized so authentically. Obi-Wan goes straight on the Depression Train, like in the show, but he can’t just lie down and let himself starve and stew in his nightmares, because there’s a child who depends on him. Two jedi in a post-jedi world. One who should be starting their journey, but didn’t, and one who should be passing the flame to the next generation, but can’t. Jfc.

The End!

That’s it folks.

When I received the ask for a codywan recc list, I was in a waning enthusiasm period for codywan fics (not the ship itself!).

Because I’m very picky and I have dozens upon dozens of criterias for codywan “fics I loved so much I bookmark them and recommend them to everyone”. I could read literally all week sometimes and not find one fic that meet all these (very subjective and personal, mind you!) criterias.

It’s not ungratefulness for people writing fics (are you kidding?), it’s a matter of taste. Without new canon being produced, fandom/ship tend to stagnate a bit in terms of narrative after a while. It happens to literally every fandom I have been a part of and is no critic of anyone or anything. That’s just the nature of things.

But, well. Then, the number of fics that scratch all my itches and that I haven’t read yet start to get smaller and smaller until, to find new gems, I have to plow through hundreds of fics first.

But I considered it a challenge to myself and my habits and accepted it gladly! To shake things up and find actual new stuff, I put the restriction on myself to look only for fics last updated between 2023 and 2024.

Because I already made a recc list in 2022 and I wanted to give what I hadn’t seen yet a chance.

As you can see, some truly amazing stuff came out of this! If with this list I manage to make you discover new fics, I will consider it worth it!

At the time I am writing this, there’s still plenty of fics downloaded and waiting to be read on my e-reader. But we’re reaching the end of the year so I’m stopping it there so that people can enjoy the fics over the holidays.

If I find new things, I will edit it ;) As always, suggestions are always welcome too!

Meanwhile, enjoy, leave kudos for the authors, and happy reading!!!!

[mikashisus]

there’s just smth so… healing abt sethoscara.

as someone who also deals with immense trauma, let me explain:

first of all - as much as i love kazuscara as well, im starting to love sethoscara more simply bc of this fact: sethos has no ties whatsoever to wanderer’s past.

like i said above, i also deal with a lot of trauma. it has been very hard to overcome, and i still struggle with it even years after it happened. i do still interact with some of the ppl involved (bc they’re members of my family and i have long forgiven them), but i have met some wonderful ppl who have no ties to my past or trauma whatsoever and being around them without them knowing of said trauma is so… freeing. it’s kind of healing, in a way, too.

it’s like a breath of fresh air when u finally take that step away from those who know about or were involved in ur hurt, and get to know others who are not aware. bc those ppl who are unaware or weren’t there when it happened don’t judge u or see u differently bc of what happened in ur past.

and i think sethos would help wanderer take a step towards healing from all his trauma. sethos isn’t aware of who wanderer was before. he only just met him recently, he’s completely unaware of wanderer’s trauma and his past.

that in and of itself could feel so so so refreshing to wanderer - having someone who doesn’t know a thing and has no ties whatsoever to his previous identity.

nahida is probably helping him heal as well, but she knows. she’s aware. she knew him when he was still scaramouche, the sixth of the fatui harbingers; therefore her thoughts on him are different as opposed to someone who is just meeting wanderer for the very first time and doesn’t know a thing about him.

same goes for the traveler (and paimon technically ig). they know. they have ties to who he was before.

kazuha, although he never met wanderer before the irminsul wipe and is still unaware of his true identity, has ties to wanderer. if they were to meet and kazuha possibly found out abt wanderer’s true identity, it could cause kazuha to judge him based on his previous incarnation instead of his current identity.

but not sethos. sethos judges him not based on who he was before, but who he is at the current moment. and his thoughts on him will be determined based on his current words and actions.

*it’s important to note that i am not trying to start any ship wars or bash on kazuscara - bc frankly, i love kazuscara!! they’re my sillies!! but i am a multishipper, so ofc im going to giggle over sethoscara as well! AND compare their dynamics :))

*i apologize if anything was repetitive, i have a bad habit of repeating things over and over. usually it’s due to a lack of getting my thoughts in order. sigh adhd.

[bullet-prooflove]

Safe: Leroy Jethro Gibbs x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @riley-kore @ilovemark1951 @love-affair-with-fandoms @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

Companion piece to:

The Ice Queen - Gibbs meets The Ice Queen for the first time.

Break The Ice - A act of decency helps Gibbs to break the ice.

Umbrella - Gibbs gets more than he bargained for when he offers you his umbrella.

Grave - You and Gibbs bump into each other in an unexpected place.

The thing that Gibbs likes most about you is that you don’t give damn about what anybody else thinks. That becomes blatantly obvious over the months he continues works with you. You��re a consummate professional, a fierce victim advocate and the most compassionate woman he’s ever met.

The way you speak to the families, it’s an art form.

He could only wish for more people like you. People who haven’t become desensitised by everything they’ve seen. People who still give a shit.

“I don’t know how you do it.” He says to you one night over drinks at a bar he’s already forgotten the name of. “How do you stay sane after seeing so much death?”

Meeting up like this, it’s starting to become a regular thing between the two of you. You’ve been doing it ever since the day you ran into each other at the cemetery. Most nights he grabs a few drinks with his team but Thursdays, he reserves those especially for you.

“I know that people think I’m cold, detached…” You say as you swirl the ice cubes around whiskey glass. “But when I look down at them, I see the person they were. Lieutenant Colchester’s calloused fingers from where he played guitar, the scar on Ensign Lopez’s knee from a cycling accident. They all had hobbies, a life, people who care about them.” You take a sip from the glass. “I guess that makes me driven.”

“It’s a good way to be.” Gibbs tells you, his gaze meeting yours. “You fight for them, even when the lead on the case tells you, you shouldn’t.”

He’s talking about the blow up they all overheard coming from Family and Sexual Violence and Threat Management Unit this afternoon. You have a dead Corporal on your table and Special Agent in Charge LaRue is shoving the file to the bottom of the pile because the deceased used to be hook to put food on the table before she joined the service.

“I’m gonna be person non-grata in that department for a very long time.” You state as you signal to the bartender for another round. “They’ve already requested another M.E.”

“It was the right thing to do.” Gibbs tells you as if it’s something irrefutable.

That’s one of the reasons you like about spending time with Gibbs. There’s no platitudes, there’s only frankness. He’s a man without an agenda and you can not express just how refreshing that is.  

“I know.” You say, pushing your used glass away from you. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I thought it would bring any of them justice.”

You damn well would too, he knows it.

It’s an hour later that he begins to tug on his jacket. It’s the same everytime. Eleven o’clock hits and he walks you home. Only tonight you aren’t pulling on your coat, your still sitting there, your finger tracing around the top of the glass you’ve been drinking from.

“Maeve?” He questions, tilting his head to meet your gaze.

“I think I’m gonna stay a while.” You tell him and he sits back down on his stool.

“Alright, well I’ve got nowhere else to be-”

“Jethro.” You say softly, your hand coming to rest on top of his ensuring you have his full attention. “You know that feeling you get, that frustration that builds and builds until you end up starting a fight. I get that too, only I fuck it out.”

“Oh.” He says as it dawns on him. “I’m cock blocking you.”

“You look like a big strapping Marine, ready to beat the shit out of anyone that approaches me.” You inform him and he supposes he kinda does.

“I’m not sure how comfortable I feel…” He begins because his momma taught him a lot better than to leave a woman alone in a bar.

“It’s not about your comfort.” You remind him, your voice turning brittle. “It’s about me getting what I need and what I need is to get fucked.”

He doesn’t like it, not because of the sex but rather the danger it presents. You’ll be taking home you don’t know, someone who could hurt you or worse. He also knows he can’t stop you, that you’re going to do this no matter what he says because it is a need, one that he recognises all too well.

“Will you call me or page me?” He asks you as he raises to his feet once again. “Just so I know you’re safe.”

You sigh, rapping your fingertips upon the surface on the table. He gets the feeling you aren’t used to people actually giving a shit about you. Well tough, he does and you’re just gonna have to get used to that.

“Maybe.” You concede. “If you leave within the next five minutes.”

Maybe…

That’s the best he’s gonna get for now.

It’s a couple of hours later that his pager chirps. He’s doing push ups in the dark on the bedroom floor, trying to chase away the images of another man touching you, tasting you, fucking you. He’s not a jealous man but he is protective, he would go to hell and back for the people he cares about and apparently you’re one of them. He picks up the tiny black device, his gaze fixating on the letters as they scroll across screen.

S-A-F-E.

Safe.

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[icyg4l]

PAC: What Will Your Next Date Be Like?

Hello beautiful people! As promised, this is the second PAC regarding love that will be indulged in. Tonight, I will be giving insight on what you can expect from your next date. I will be using my True Heart Tarot Deck and my handy dandy Romance Angels Oracle Deck. Don’t forget to tune into Five Dollar Friday and please book a reading with me if you are interested 🫶 Without further ado, please select your pile!

Left-to-Right: (1-4)

Pile One: When I was shuffling for your pile, I started singing and being really goofy. I feel like you could be going on a date with a Gemini, Aquarius or a Leo. This person is gonna make your inner child come out! You might be a little uptight at first on some ‘I Don’t Dance’ (Chad and Ryan type shit) but this person is gonna make you put your ego aside. I also channeled Suit and Tie. You guys could go karaoking, go to a dance class, or you could be someone’s date to a wedding. Or it could even be a bar date! I feel like you really need this, Pile One. Your energy feels stiff and stagnant. You deserve a night out. Maybe this person isn’t your usual type or they’ll have to grow on you but by the end of the night, you’ll want to be around them. You don’t have to push this person away because they’re not who your parents/family would approve of. Your family could be going through some issues right now. Maybe you aren’t going to be feeling them because you don’t want to break your celibacy. Your energy seems new like you’re young and inexperienced or you’ve taken a pause from dating to focus on yourself. Now you feel refreshed. I also channeled the song ‘Not Used to It’ by Kehlani. I feel like this person will be very well-mannered and that’ll throw you off. Maybe you’ve had partners who were very rude and disrespectful in the past and now you feel suspicious. Feel them out! Don’t knock it until you try it! I pulled oracle cards from you and got the following messages:

“You deserve love: You are lovable.

Healing family issues: your love life benefits you as you forgive your parents.

Attraction: You attract romantic love by enjoying this moment fully

Religious factors: Your love life is influenced by your religious upbringing and spiritual path.

Love yourself first: Your self respect makes you more romantically attractive

Honeymoon: Enjoy the bliss of holiday time together”

Cards Used: The Hanged Man (RX), 10 of Discs, 7 of Wands, 3 of Cups, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands, Death, Ace of Cups.

extras: ‘no more drama’ by mary j blige. breath of fresh air. new bras. emptying out the trash. haute couture. piercing gaze.

Pile Two: I feel like this pile will be very nervous for this date. For one, there may be some things that make you feel like you shouldn’t be going on this date. For instance, it’s last minute and you would have to move your schedule around or you get a traffic ticket. I also feel like somebody will be late to the date because of traffic. But when the actual date starts, I feel like it’ll be dark. Perhaps in a movie theatre or a candlelight dinner. Or maybe the date will be late at night. I get the feeling that you will meet this person off of Tinder or some dating app. When you meet them, you’ll be stunned by how attractive they are. The sexual tension will be strong. I am seeing lace and the colors black and red in my third eye. I feel like some of you will get dolled up after a long, hard day of work and you’ll agree to go because you have a feeling that this is something you’re supposed to do. And you should because being all work and no play is draining! Perhaps some of you are single moms or work with children. I wouldn’t be surprised if a child tried to get involved with your dating life, lol (a child trying to play matchmaker with you and their dad). “It’s been a long time coming” is something I’ve heard. Maybe it’s been a minute since you’ve been on the dating scene, welcome back! Also, this date could end in great pleasure. Please stay prepared and protected, lol. Scorpio and Capricorn energy. I pulled some cards and got the following messages:

“Children: Your love life is being affected by children.

You deserve love: You are lovable!

New love: A new person has stirred your romantic feelings

Attraction: You attract romantic love by enjoying this moment fully

Finances and career: Financial issues are a factor in your love life right now

Passion: Allow your heart and soul to sing with joy!”

Cards Used: Nine of Wands, The Empress, 10 of Swords, The High Priestess, 7 of Cups, The Devil, 2 of Cups, 4 of Discs.

extras: oklahoma. channing tatum. body-to-body. aura.

Pile Three: You’ve been waiting for this for a long time, haven’t you, Pile Three? I feel like you’ve been manifesting a date but everytime you get close, it falls through. You might be socially awkward. I think your date will be able to tell this through the date. Don’t start off too intense, you don’t want to scare the hoes! I feel like during this date you will both be intoxicated, or high to be specific. It feels like this will happen at nighttime. Perhaps y’all will be at a hookah lounge, bar, or a restaurant where edibles are served. Perhaps going to the planetarium (while high) I feel like you could even get high with this person after the OG date (be careful, lol). This feels really intimate. They might find a reason to touch you like fix your shirt or tuck your hair behind your ear. I think you’re going to be seeing this person on the low as well. Don’t plan on telling your friends about this person. I’m not going to lie, I feel like you’re going to get ghosted. But at least you got what you wanted! Either that or you guys will end up together but there will be some distance between the two of you. Or you will get along so much but personal goals aren’t aligned fully and you two will wish each other the best. Taurus and Pisces energy is very significant here with this person. I pulled some cards from my oracle deck got the following messages:

“Religious factors: Your love life is influenced by your religious upbringing and spiritual path

Worth waiting for: Divine timing is at work in your love life.

It is safe for you to love: Open your heart to give and receive the highest of all.

Heart-to-heart conversations: Honestly discuss your feeling with each other

Calling in your soulmate: Your prayers, affirmations and visualizations help bring you together

Separation: Time apart from your partner is on the horizon”

Cards Used: Death, The High Priestess, Four of Wands, Seven of Swords, Queen of Wands, Queen of Swords (RX), 7 of Discs, Ace of Wands, Two of Wands, The Moon, 4 of Discs, 2 of Cups (RX).

extras: saturn. determination. “you can do it!”. anthropology major. sacrifices. nathan from insecure.

Pile Four: Okay last and final pile! Your pile felt very different. I feel like this pile is religious or has strong religious roots. I think that you’ll be going on a date with your ex, lmao. But I think this will be the goodbye date to be honest or it’ll be a signifier of the end. I think that you’ll be going to a carnival, a festival, a concert, go-karting, zip lining or something of the sort. Somewhere that’s high energy and will have your blood pumping. I think you’re going to realize you no longer want them as much you wanted them in the past. Whoever they are, they’re a huge flirt! You have a lot of chemistry with this person and it will be easy to talk to them (per usual). Big Aries & Libra energy. I think you’re going to see them differently because of a conversation that you have. You’re on two different wavelengths and that’s okay. Maybe y’all have spent some time apart and they aren’t the same. This is also okay. It’s all apart of the learning and growing process. Learn when to walk away. I think this person is going to step on your toes on accident and make you mad or make you cry. They’re going to comfort you but this is going to make you realize that y’all don’t need to be together. But at least you’ll know where this person’s head at from the last break y’all took. They seem immature. I pulled some oracle cards for you and got the following messages:

“Love yourself first: Your self-respect makes you more romantically attractive.

Forgiving and Learning: As you release and heal the past, you experience more love in your present moments.

Flirt: Extend your lighthearted energy to others

Reconciliation: Someone from your past is returning to your life

Chemistry: There’s a strong magnetic attraction here

Pay attention to the red flags: The signs are cautioning you”

Cards Used: The Star (RX), Ace of Swords, 2 of Swords, 5 of Cups, 3 of Wands, 4 of Wands, Death, Queen of Wands (RX).

extras: CVS. valentine’s day. last christmas by wham. church by bj the chicago kid. “get into it, yuh.” bald cap method. “cori.” empty condom boxes.

[owlobservation]

Itoshi Sae Egoist Bible Profile (2022)

"I'll see for myself... what kind of forward this country can produce."

Itoshi Rin's older brother. He's selected as one of the New Generation World 11. The Genius Midfielder!

-Profile Data-

Birthdate: October, 10th.

Age: 18 (Third year high school)

Zodiac sign: Libra.

Birthplace: Kanagawa Prefecture (Kamakura City)

Family structure: Father, mother, himself, younger brother.

Height: 180 cm.

Foot size: 26.5 cm.

Blood type: A.

Previous team before he returned to Japan: Re Ale Youth FC.

Dominant foot: Left.

Favorite Soccer Player: Álvaro Recoba. "The left-footed player who creates rainbow on the pitch."*

Age started playing soccer: 1 years old. "Before I knew it, I was already playing soccer."

Nickname: Treasure of Japan.

Strengths: Being able to see things objectively. "I'm often told that I'm a dry person but who cares."

Weaknesses: I don't know anything except about soccer. "Don't live like this, you guys."

Favorite food: Salted kombucha. "Because I can return back to zero."**

Disliked food: French fries. "It's so delicious that I could die, but it's also so unhealthy that I could die."

Best rice accompaniment: Salted kelp. "They don't have it in Spain so I got it sent from my parents' home."

Hobby: Analyzing data of soccer players and teams. "It's nice to see things visualized as numbers."

Favorite season: The end of summer. "I feel like the whole world has become lonely."

Favorite show: Chibi Maruko-chan. "It reminds me of my parents' home."

Favorite music: Suisei by Tofubeats feat. Seira Kariya. "I listen it to cool down."

Favorite movie: Taxi Driver. "This De Niro guy is the coolest."

Favorite manga: Gegege no Kitaro

Character color: Azuki Red.

Favorite animal: Seagull. "I like migratory birds that don't stay in one place."

Favorite brands: All the brands that sponsor me. "They have good eyes for betting on me."

Best subjects: No idea because I didn't really pay attention in class and only focused on soccer. "I've never seen my report card."

Fetish: Butt. "You can tell an athlete's ability by the shape of their butt."

What makes you happy: A play beyond my imagination.

What makes you sad: Being forced to carry the weight of Japanese soccer on my shoulders. "Yes, I'm talking about you guys."

The first time someone confessed to you: I don't even remember which one was the first time, dumbass.

Last year's valentine day chocolates: Around 2.000. "My manager told me."

Sleep time: 8 hours. (7 hours+1 hour nap)

Where do you wash first in the bath?: Bangs' hairline.

Mushroom or Bamboo shoots?: Depending on the mood.

What made you cry recently?: Why would I tell you, idiot.

At what age did you stop receiving presents from Santa?: 10 years old.***

What did you ask for a Christmas present from Santa?: My undiscovered talent.

What would you do on your last day on earth?: Give the world's best striker the world's best pass.

What would you do if you receive 100 million yen?: I'm not interested. It's just a small change.

What do you do on your days off?: Gazing at the sea.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daily life at Blue Lock

"I haven't been there yet."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sae's Ranking

1. Ranked #3 The Best at Study****

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Initial Character Sketch by Kaneshiro

Genius Midfielder. Very Sadist (Do-S)

I can't read the rest of the notes... sorry....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

*Álvaro Recoba (El Chino) is a midfielder from Uruguay known for his "rainbow-like" curved kicks.

**Return back to zero=being refreshed.

***In early 2021 twitter Q&A, he said he stopped getting Christmas presents when Rin stopped believing in Santa. His answer is revised in Egoist Bible to just "10 years old."

****The title/ranking is "Who Can Study Well". Sae is the #3 person who is very good at studying (benkyou 勉強).

Check Sae's updated profile from the second volume of Egoist Bible for more!

[hwathinker]

"is beauty all that matters to you?"

pairing ; high school boyfriend!mingi x high school fem!reader warnings ; bullying, y/n is v insecure;(, lil bit angst?, mingi is soo comforting <3 wn ; i've been thinking about how predebut mingi had acnes, he doesn't look any less beautiful tbh. and i thought that if he had a s/o that has acnes it wouldn't change his mind abt loving her :(

wednesday, 7:30am

walking to school. your very favorite thing to do since it refreshes your mind from whatever happened on the other day before. today, mingi wanted to have lunch together with you. you both rarely go to lunch together. all just because you didn't want mingi to lose his fame in the school. well, sometimes you both walk together. but whenever there's a bad timing you would always avoid him after, and he understands that. it has been 4 months since you've confessed to him. and you still don't feel that comfortable to be acting like his girlfriend. "look! its your mingi! should we go to him?" a group of girls passed by you, one telling her friend to hit him up, the other pulling her hand to go towards mingi. "guys.. i don't think it will be okay.. haha!" the girl laughed. her smile was so bright, clear delicate skin, hair soft as a silk. hell, even the boys from other class had a crush on her. mingi was standing at the front gate, waiting for who even you don't know.

you watched them walking to mingi, heart beating so fast. what if mingi catches feelings? what if mingi leaves you for her? what if- "no thank you, i already have a girlfriend." what? mingi said what? you heard him. he told the girl he had a girlfriend. was this a dream? when the group of girls leave, one of them had tears in her eyes, her friends rubbing her back for comfort. mingi then saw you walking towards the gate, quickly smiled and waved at you. truly an angel. you fake smile back, walking to him. "did you wait long?" you asked as you both walk inside. "nah, i just got here too." he said. he still has his big smile plastered on his face. you turned to look at him with questioning face, "what are you so happy about?" you chuckled. "i don't know. maybe its because you finally agreed to be with me throughout this day." he said. oh how you didn't want to do this but you did. its kind of hard to be together, especially when you're the loser in this school.

"so its not about the girls that came to you and confessed?" you purposely asked that, knowing you're jealous. he knows that. "oh that! she just embarrassed herself in front of me. asking for my number and going on a date." mingi sighed. "i'm tired of these girls. i just want to be with you." that left you speechless. how did a kind nice guy like him want to be in a relationship with you, who's like a mess and only care about her academics not her face? you never asked him about his type, you were afraid of not being his exact type. "baby! you're jealous right?" mingi stepped in front of you, smiling like an idiot. "what? not even a little. who would get jealous by that?" you denied. honestly, talking about your feelings feels like you're putting blames on him.

"i know you so well, y/n. please don't ever hide anything from me, even your feelings." he goes beside you again, walking with his hands in his pockets. you're not that sure if you can do that. not even to your closes family members.

wednesday, 11:25am

lunch. its lunch y/n!!! you kept a brave face, standing in front of the bathroom mirror. trying to gather all your confidence to go out. mingi was waiting outside. he told you its fine to take your time and take a breath. "y/n please please please!! its just a lunch, its not like you've never walked around the school with him." you thought to yourself. honestly speaking, who wouldn't want to have a lunch with him. you were about to walk out, but you heard many girls were like.. gathering in front of the girl's bathroom? "mingi.. i wanted to give you this." then cheering were made by the other girls. "woohoo!! go girl!" "oohh is she going to be mingi's girlfriend?"

you stand behind the door, eavesdropping the conversation. then something like a box fell to the ground, making the other girls gasping in shock. "not interested." mingi said. then a light knock were heard as you jump in surprised. "are you done? its crowded here." mingi's voice was interrupted by the noises the girls made. you quickly touch up on your uniform and hair. walking out, the girls were just making disgusted face and glaring at you. "there you are." mingi was so quick to hold your hand. "ew what is this piece of trash doing dating such a beautiful guy?" one of them says. it made you look down to your shoe, feeling judged by it. "can you guys stop? its not like i'm the only guy in this school you could be dating." mingi sounded a bit rude. it was not his intention but because it was being thrown towards you, he wouldn't waste a time being like that.

you both walk away to the cafeteria, leaving those girls saying things. mingi was brave enough to stand up for you. even if it means to lose his popularity, he won't stop defending you just because of your looks. mingi held your hand so tight, reminding you that he will always be there for you. as you both walk inside the cafeteria, eyes were laid on the both of you. whisperings were quickly made. "look! why is she holding his hand?" "oh my god if i were her i would be dead embarrased!" "mingi is so handsome, what is he doing with that hag?" you just ignored all the comments from the other students. mingi cut the long queue line and bought some buns and drinks for both of you. he didn't let your hand go, not even a second. "hey! you don't cut like that! go behind man." one of the student in the line said. mingi just glared at him, looking up and down. the guy stepped back and cleared his throat.

finally, peace. mingi brought you to the rooftop. just the two of you, sitting comfortably with each other while feeling the wind. "i'm sorry if dating me is a fuss." mingi said, opening the bun and drink for you. you just sat there, staring at the bun. "you don't have to apologize. it should be me who should." you had tears in your eyes as you sink in your arms. mingi looks at you, his heart broke hearing you feel bad about being his girlfriend. "hey, you don't say that. okay? you're so beautiful you know that?" he reassure you. the first time you met was when you were alone crying at the rooftop when you should've gone to home. you wished you've never met him sometimes but you're also very glad he's there to protect you. "baby, don't cry. i promise i will protect you no matter what." mingi rubbed your back, his other hand goes to bring your hair behind your ear making you look at him. "you look beautiful, love. inside out." he said, wiping off your tears. you just smiled at him and laughed.

knowing he's the sweetest guy ever, you're not confident that he would spend the rest of his lives with you. why you? because he fell for your kind and sweet personality. but you thought either way. "thank you mingi. i'm really not in my best now, but you boosts my happiness." you said, grabbing the bun he opened for you. he smiled at you, feeling happy that you know he's there for you. mingi likes spoiling you with foods. especially when he knows that you love eating so much.

wednesday, 3:45pm

its time to go home. mingi, who's from the next class was fast enough to wait for you outside your class. sometimes its hard to not be in the same class at him since you're always getting bullied. but whenever mingi gets mad at them, they would always stop interrupting you for 2 or 3 days. but then they will continue to do it again. you saw mingi waiting outside, watching you pack your things. he mouthed a "quick" as his eyebrow furrowed. you just laughed and pack things quickly.

"hey! i'm sorry i kept you waiting." you said, hands both on the strap of your bag. "its okay. shall we?" he held his hand out, tilting his head to the other side of the corridor. you nodded and held his hand. many eyes were watching, but you try to just ignore it. what you didn't know, there was a group of girls from earlier at the bathroom watching, recording the both of you from the back. "heh, she wouldn't last long with him." the girl who confessed to mingi said.

outside, you and mingi walks slowly. enjoying the time together. suddenly his phone rang. "hold on." he let go of your hand, picking up a call from his mom. you waited for him to finish the call, then he end it with an 'okay'. he turned to look at you, sadness filled his face. "y/n, i have something up with dad. mom is picking me up at the front gate." he said. he held your hand again, continuing the walk. "that's a shame you can't send me to my house. but its okay! really." you said, putting up a fake smile at him. he still felt sad because he can't walk you to your house. "don't be sad! we'll walk together tomorrow okay?" you held your pinky at him, as he smiled. "okay." he connected his pinky with yours as he let your hand go. "i love you. i'll call you if i can tonight okay?" he said and you nodded. he then waved at you before entering the car. he watches you wave at him until he can't see you from the car window. sweet.

you walked alone, now in the alleys outside the school. man, your house was a bit far but you hold the urge to just grab a taxi. then, the group of girls from earlier grabbed you by your arm. they surrounded you as you leaned at the wall. "hey. you're song mingi's gilfriend?" one of them asked. you lips tremble in fear, not sure if you want to say yes or no. "answer me, you ugly bitch." the other one pushing your shoulder as you nodded. the girl, who had a crush on mingi smirked, laughing as she looked around. "break up." you looked at her in the eye, her demanding request was.. something you wouldn't consider to do. "why..?" your breath hitched, unable to look at her. "what do you mean why? you know exactly why right? a guy like him don't deserve you. he's insane to date such ugly trash like you." they laughed, other just caress your head, and the other one plays with your coat. "don't you know how hard his life is after you've associate with him? man, if he was still single, he would be so free and not feel like he's being caged with some ass like you." her words hurt like hell. what if what she's saying are true? what if mingi was actually suffering trying to protect you when its not his job to?

"i'm sorry." you said. then, the girl lifted her hand to slap you but there was someone that stopped her from doing so. as expected, it was mingi. "are you playing with her? or are you testing my patience?" mingi's voice was low but its enough to show that he's mad. "song mingi! u-uhh, aah! we were just talking to her haha! i was going to stretch my arms you know?" the girl stuttered, backing off from you. "stretching, my ass. leave now." he let go of her arm, pointing to the other way of the alley. "why should we? oh, we were just going to bring her to grab some drink, mingi!" the girl then wrapped her arm around your neck as she pulls you close. mingi sighed, closing his eyes for a second. he then grab your hand, pulling you back to him. "leave or i'll have your bare face on the internet." he had his arm on your shoulders as he widened his eyes to the girls. "fine! go with your ugly girlfriend then!" she stomped her feet and left along with her friends, leaving the both of you in the alley.

"y/n." he let your arm go, hands on his forehead as he sighed. "i told you, that you should call me when you're getting bullied like that." he says. he's still mad, the fact that you didn't try to tell him about it. you looked at the floor, avoiding his gaze. "is it true? that i'm interrupting your perfect popular life?" you had tears in your eyes, falling to the ground as soon as you move to sob. mingi was in shocked. how could you ever destroy that 'perfect' life? to him, you made it brighter. "they told you that? unbelievable. and you really believe anything they say about me don't you?" he held you in his arms, letting you cry. rubbing your back as he whisper comfort things. "its alright. i know you're fed up with what you heard. but it isn't true y/n. trust me. you'll hear more things about me. like how i do this and that. and you'll eventually believe it right? but turns out its not as true. i'm avoidant towards people. but your beautiful soul met mine. i haven't felt this happy since my primary years." he said, pulling you back and wipes your tears. truly a sweetheart. just like how people say about him.

"but why me? am i that kind to you? all i ever did was put pressure on you and made you protect me when its not even what you asked for in the first place." you sobbed. mingi hates seeing you break apart. even worse, when its about another students gang up on you. "if i chose you, i'd risk everything for you. one beautiful girl doesn't mean she always have a beautiful heart. and you? even so, i saw your kindness first. the clumsiness in you made it stronger." he laughed, along with you as you hit his arm. "i'm not clumsy." you denied, smiling at him. "whatever then. lets forget about it okay? lets go get ice cream." he grabbed your hand, then continue to talk about what's interesting around the town.

"you know. sometimes i wonder if you has ever catch feeling for a girl who has pretty face and pretty heart." you said. mingi stopped and looked at you silently. it took him minutes to answer as he press his lips together. "well, honestly. is beauty all that matters to you? because it's not, to me."

---

omg i finished this on 1day?! im super motivated for this lmfao but um lmk if there's any errors! ty n i hope u enjoyed it :p

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA Insert

Chapter: 14

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

Masterlist

Disclaimer: B/n = birth name

…

I once again repeated the question I've asked Five three times already. “What did you do?” But again, it was to no avail.

“Your questions will be answered in time Number Zero, but for now pick up the pace!” Said the woman with an unusual, cheery voice. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to piss me off by calling me that, but I had a feeling she was. I stopped thinking for a second and took a look at her. Her attitude was very snarky, and she was strangely dressed, but who am I to judge?

With her platinum, gray hair and posh walk, I knew she had to be the leader of whatever hellish organization Five deserted.

Which led me to think of more questions. Where are we? Why am I here? What happened to the others? Did these people cause the end of time? And then the one question still left on my mind, who is the girl I said would end the world..?

As I thought about it, the woman started talking to Five, and I walked behind them like some servant. We were walking fast and away from the place where I first landed on the grass. Going towards a large gray block building with a plethora of people walking in and out open. They held briefcases and chatted like this was a normal occurrence.

They were all dressed in a similar fashion in old outfits you used to see in magazines from a different decade. It was obvious to me now that we were in the past. And as people passed us, they greeted her with a sense of priority. They called her The Handler, the name so unimportant that I’d forgotten Five told me earlier.

“I must admit Number Five, in all the time I’ve been here I’ve never met anyone quite like you.” The Handler’s praise was off-putting to me, and I could tell it was off-putting to him as well. “Hazel and Cha-Cha, for example, are talented, certainly, but.. they can’t see the big picture. Your spunk, your enterprising spirit, well, remind me a great deal of myself, if I may be so vainglorious.” She wrapped her black coat-covered arm around his shoulder as she spoke almost like a mother but creepy.

This was all getting very tiresome. I had half the mind to say “You guys know I’m here, right?” And I guess I ended up saying that because she turned to me. As well as Five who had a blank expression on his face.

“And you, my dear, I believe you are the key!”

My confusion could be felt around the area. “The key to what.”

“With your unique skill set the two of you could be, how do I say this? Unstoppable.” She finished with a whisper. My head started to spin at her words as I opened my mouth to protest her words, sadly no one responded.

I started to feel a sort of hatred towards five. He drags me through yet another thing just because I survived the apocalypse and gives me no explanation. Why can’t anything ever be simple? Why can’t we ever just communicate?

As we entered the building, the layout made my nerves skyrocket. It was very claustrophobic. There was a spiral staircase, where workers upon workers would travel up and down. And there I was out of place when Five seemed to just fit right in.

“You know if things work out for you here you could potentially make a fine successor, Five.” Still, there was no mention of me. The Handler shed her silk coat to reveal a sleek black gown with several different red designs. A perfect gown for an unhinged woman.

The people around us stared at me and whispered good things from what I heard, but it was a scary thought to be the center of attention. Even though the actual people's attention I wanted were too focused on each other.

“I’d like to discuss the logistics of my family's safety at your earliest convenience. as well as this body replacement.” Five said in an almost robotic tone.

She laughed. “Such chutzpah! It’s refreshing I’ll admit. Slow down five. all in good time.” The Handler continued speaking when we reached the top of the staircase. “Now that you two have agreed to work with us. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

I stopped. I froze. Whatever I did. They seemed to notice that I ceased moving. The last thing she said didn’t make any sense to me. “Stop it, just stop this. Look, I didn't agree to do anything. I don’t know why I'm here. I can't get a straight answer. I rejected your company once so why do you think you can just have me now?” I raised my voice, which caused workers to stop and stare.

All The Handler did was smile, she did not react to what I had to say. She looked at a worker nearby, and he left and reappeared with some woman. She was tall, and her hair was kept old-fashioned in an updo. She carried a book in her arms. “Dot.”

“Yes?” Dot spoke with a sweet tone.

“Would you please show Number Five where his new headquarters is?”

“Of course!” She ushered for Five to follow her but before he left he gave me one last glance, I couldn’t even look at his eyes though. Once he left I thought for sure I was dead. I offended her and this is the end unless I fight my way out of this.

The handler looked at me, almost like she was sizing me up. “Walk with me,” she said softly. The anger I expected was nowhere on her face. She looked almost happy, something that felt out of place in a building like this.

..

We walked in silence for a bit as she led me down the hall. “What is your goal in life, Number Zero?”

“Y/n, my name is Y/n.”

“I’m sorry. What is your goal in life, Y/n?”

My mind went back to the conversation I had with Vanya, about feeling stuck. I have nothing to say to her because I don’t have a goal in life. I spend every day trying to just get past it so I can see the next morning. Except for when I hang out with Klaus and now when I’m running around trying to help solve the apocalypse.

I say nothing back.

"That's all right dear that’s why we’re here.” She shoots a caring look at my sad face.

But then I go from pitying myself to remembering I’m basically being held captive. I need to remind myself that I need to get out of here. “What do you guys want from me?” I said, plainly.

The Handler looks a little bit annoyed before answering. “We want you to reach your full potential.”

I scoff. “And what is that?”

We stop at a door. “Before I answer, would it be easier to talk sitting down? Let’s go into my office.” I only nod at her. Whatever gets me more answers I guess. As soon as I entered the room, I was filled with an immediate sense of dread. The room itself was fine, almost every wall was covered in bookshelves, it almost made me forget that this was an office and not a library.

Her desk was large, as large as her personality. It was neat, yet unorganized with a bunch of things on it. She quickly sat down in her spinny chair as I looked around the room.

“You’re a fan of books, right? You could read anything you want in here.”

I turn my head towards her. “I never told you that.” I snap.

But she ignores me. “I have all the greats, dating back from Shakespearean times, I’m a bit of a collector as you could see.” She giggles.

I once again had to refocus myself as I sat down in the chair directly in front of her.

“Right to the point I see, well I’ll try to be quick. We have other tasks to do together.” She grabs the glass of water on her desk and takes a big gulp before getting started.

“The truth is Number Zero, we’ve been watching you even before the apocalypse date. The Umbrella Academy itself is a bit of a local celebrity to us. But you in particular could make this place so much better.. We need people like you, not only for your powers of regeneration but your mindset. Back when you were a child, you used to be a killing machine. I mean nothing Sir Reginald made you do would phase you!” My face dropped as she went on.

“As you can tell, I run a tight operation here and just between you and me some of these people are emotional, but if we had more soldiers like you.. well, let’s just say there wouldn’t be any desertion.”

“So what do you say? Come work for us? Of course, you get all the benefits. Health care, not that you need it. Housing, meals every day, hell, I’ll even throw in a new job title. How would you like to be the head of the department?” She was practically buzzing with excitement that I would say yes to this horrible agreement.

As I listened to her words I started picking my skin on my fingers, and it started to be very hard to breathe. She wants me to do the thing I ran away from? No. I can’t go back.

“Y/n?” She calls out.

My lungs felt on fire.

“Y/n? Darling”

My head was spinning.

“Speak to me.”

My eyes were darting around the room.

“We can do this together.”

My ears are ringing.

I think I was having a panic attack.

I was so sick and tired of the false comfort I was getting. I was tired of five. I was tired of thinking of Ben. I was tired of thinking of the apocalypse. So many things were circling my mind, so many people needed me to help them

I needed to look out for Klaus. I needed to look out for Diego. Where is my comfort? Who is looking out for me? I can’t be on my own. At first, I thought that person was Ben but then I lost him too. I need someone. And then I thought it was with him. I needed someone to fall back on but now he’s gone. And it was all my fault.

I opened my mouth, but only shrieks and whispers came out. The handler looked dazed, almost thrilled that I was freaking out.

“No..“ I whispered.

She raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“You can’t put me back there. I can’t do this again.” My throat let out an awful voice crack. “I’m not a soldier, I’m a person. I will never be a soldier not again doesn’t matter if it’s for you or if it’s for the greater good, I was already lied to about that once. My answer is no.” I glared at her.

I whispered, “And if you don’t get me home. I will stop every organ in your body from working, don't test me. I’ve done it before.”

She smirked. “Trust me, I know you have. That's why I know you won’t do it to me. No. I remind you too much of your mother, the woman who gave you away. That’s why you were staring at me so hard and also my pretty dress, just like hers. Lovely isn’t it?”

“That's not true!” I yelled.

“I know everything about you, B/n. That’s the name, isn't it? The one your mother gave you? You were such a cute kid.”

B/n? Who's that?

There's no way I'd forget my own name.

“No matter how much you try to trick me I won’t do it.” I cried out.

She slammed her hands on her desk, while never breaking her smile.“I don’t need to trick you. This is what you want. You want purpose, after you left Reginald there was no one to tell you what to do, that was until you found your boyfriend and after he left, sorry! Let’s not lie, we both know he didn’t leave.”

“You know, you and Five just have to be related, you're the same person. You two both need purpose and I can give it to you here!”

The happy woman had disappeared. Now I am seeing her true nature; she's conniving she only wants power. She wants my power.

“Excuse me, I am a fan of the dramatics. I don’t know why we're even doing this. You have to do this.

My stare falters. “What?”

“In order for some sort of sanctuary from the apocalypse, which we both know will never work. Five promised the both of you two to work here, to save your glorious family.”

“Fuck you! That’s not true.” I stand up from my chair.

“Go ask him yourself. I'm not holding you hostage in this room. Or better yet check my body, if I'm lying my heartbeat should falter or something like that?” She sips more water.

I try my best to find a lie in her senses, but she’s telling the truth. “You're right.” I gasp.

She grins. “Honestly that is just astounding. Your powers are amazing. This is exactly why we need you!” She claps her hands.

I don’t feel the same sentiment. My brother, adopted or not, is going to force me to work here away from my home, away from my semblance of reality for an apocalypse we probably can’t beat for the apocalypse, where I am the only one destined to live by myself forever away from my world. Why am I always destined to hurt?

“All right, enough of that, come now we need to get your uniform. I hope you’re okay with a suit after all that’s what everyone wears. And oh! I can get your first assignment. This is going to be wonderful. I see a future for us, together.” The Handler gushes

She stands up and walks to the door. “Are you coming? Number Zero.”

This will never be over. I don’t know why I followed her. My body moved on its own following its commands, like it always has.

She led me to the suit department of the commission, where a man and his late fifties worked. He looked at me with some bit of sorrow, but I just looked at the floor as the handler told him my measurements. Which she knew, I’m guessing from watching me.

..

She then pushed me into the bathroom and told me to get changed. I slowly put on the uniform, shedding myself off my normal clothes the last bit that made me, me. I walked out of the bathroom like a zombie.

“If it’s perfectly my, you're quite beautiful in a suit. One last thing, though I’m sorry your hair is amazing, but is sadly against the code. If you’re working, your hair needs to be up in a ponytail. Once you do that you’ll be done.”

She waits for me and expects me to do it myself, but I stare at my reflection in the mirror just like I have so many times before. “I can’t.”

“Oh! That’s my fault. I almost forgot.”

She grabs a brush from her dress pocket and does my hair for me. When she’s done she looks at her work. I look like I’m back in the Academy because it's the same way Gracie used to do my hair. This sick fuck probably memorized it.

I try to bite back my sobs, The Handler’s pale hand, holds onto the side of my face.

“Perfect.”

...

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