#it's because to me the idea of Ramon looking for a dad was kind of out of character

[pikmininaplane]

I will say, it kinda irks me when people say Ramon's looking for a new dad/wants Pac to be his dad because that's just,, not true

Ramon wants Fit to have someone. He's pushing him into Pac's arms not because he's looking for a new father figure, but because he's scared Fit will end up alone if he isn't there anymore (a sentiment especially strong after being away from him for over 2 months and being made more aware of his own mortality than ever).

And he's especially not doing it because of his own affection towards Pac – he's never shown any particular attachment to him beyond hanging out with him when his dad did – but because Fit likes him, and he'd push him towards anyone he likes. Hell, at some point he even thought Fit might like Bagi (which prompted the 'mom or dad' question)! It has nothing to do with who the person is and everything to do with his dad's happiness

But Ramon himself doesn't need a dad, he's never needed one. He's always been perfectly happy with only one parent, even after Spreen's departure. It's not a parent he wants; it's a partner for Fit, which will happen to make that person his parent. No more, no less

[ghost-likes-drawing]

Just Wish I Knew What Caused it

(Fitpac exs to Lovers)

Ch. 4 (to be named maybe)

Translations done with the assistance from @keezers and @iridescentpull (Spanish) and @yama67 (Portuguese) Beta reading done by: @Caracolast (may your blog RIP)

First Chapter Previous Chapter.

Cw for mention of cannibalism at the very end

Fit was really glad him and Ramon went for icecream. If allowed him to finally let go of whatever figurative breath he'd been holding because of the stress of a new job, in a new state, which requires him to eat meals next to his ex.

A night with only his son was exactly what he needed.

Three days went by and Fit got used to the new schedule and changes in workload as Bobby and Roier were doing work too. Bobby worked well with Richarlyson even if they constantly were goofing off and having to be reeled in by one of their dads.

Speaking of dads, Fit needed to get his hearing aids checked because for some reason he was certain he'd been hearing Richarlyson refer to Roier as “Pa” and Bobby do the same to Cellbit.

That didn't make sense. Right? For a moment he considered maybe Cellbit and Pac were polyamorus but he remembered Pac's jealousy well enough to dismiss the idea immediately.

On a similar note he thinks Pepito had been calling Roier Apa but the conversations he heard that in were either in Spanish or just vague enough in English Pepito could have been talking about someone else.

The reason for Pepito’s insistence on speaking Spanish made sense very quickly after Roier returned. Fit noticed that Roier left work before lunch to go help Pepito in the kitchen generally taking either Richarlyson or Bobby with him so they could practicing their cooking skills.

It was Dinner time again and Ramon was scribing notes under the table of what Bobby and Richarlyson were talking about on Ramon’s other side. It was about a game of Football from the previous night and considering it was the start of July Fit assumed they didn't mean American Football.

Fit was kind of Zoning out in his attempt to not look in Pac’s direction and he was just kind of looking at Pepito and Roier.

The previous evening Fit and Ramon went back to the car so Ramon could talk about the things he'd learned and managed to put together from the last couple days so he can attempt to make friends with Bobby and Richarlyson. This information included, somehow, the fact Bobby was definitely Roier’s bio son which Fit had presumed anyway but was cool to have confirmation on he supposed.

The reason this matters NOW though, while interesting, was just raising flags.

Bobby could almost be Roier’s mini me. Bobby’s hair was more reddish brown and had a more feathery volume then Roier’s and Bobby’s face was a bit rounder and he was ever so slightly tanner but they definitely looked like father and son.

The thing was the more he looked at Pepito next to Roier when Bobby wasn't sitting right next to Roier the more Pepito looked like Roier too.

Pepito didn't look like Roier the way Bobby did. Pepito was much darker than any of the adults at the table. A fact Fit payed little mind to having already assumed him and Richarlyson were just adopted and probably not related to eachother, (considering Richarlyson was Afro-Latino and looked nothing like any of them) and the distant memory that Pac hated the idea of getting pregnant, but Pepito had other things. His hair grew in the same way and was exactly the same color. Pepito’s eyes were more green and brown but their eye shape…. Not to mention their noses.

Had Fit noticed these things in people before he became a parent?

Fit felt like a conspiracy theorist. Examining the features and coming up with solutions but they all felt… convoluted?

He thinks at some point someone mentioned Mike used to live here? Maybe Mike and Roier were Pepito’s bio parents? But then why was Cellbit and Pac the one Raising him? Why didn't anyone else talk about Mike? Mike was alive he overheard Pac on the phone with him. Could Mike get pregnant? And it had been over 12 years but he didn’t think Pepito looked like Mike

He must have started making a face because he gets a jab in the ribs from Ramon and when the world comes back into focus he's in a staring contest with Pepito. Fit blinked as obviously as he could and Pepito smiled so wide, clearly proud of himself and Fit put in a show of having lost. He heard a familiar restrained snort from Pac before Ramon signaled in the corner of his eye for his attention.

Fit looked to him. “Need something?”

Ramon signed “what?” Before gesturing to the accidental staring contests

“Gossip, tell you later” Fit signed Back.

“What Gossip?” He saw Richarlyson lean around Bobby to sign as he spoke. And he heard a restrained snort from Bobby

Fit could just see Ramon’s eyes light up at a chance to form a connection with the two boys. Ramon turned and while he couldn't see the question asked he could figure out it was probably “you two know sign language?” From the arm movements and then Bobby’s response

“Yea, our cousin Tallulah” he finger spelled then gave her name sign “started teaching us, we were around” he stalled to look at Richarlyson for help. “7 maybe 8?”

Fit hummed smiling and took a sip of his water to watch the boys talk.

“I was 7. You were 8.” Richarlyson answered.

Bobby seemed happy with the answer and looked back to Ramon “we kept on learning afterwards. she cried next time we saw her. She was so happy”

Ramon nodded “I know Lullah” he used the name sign before finger spelling and pulled out his phone to show a picture.

They both looked and clearly recognized her “you know her how?” Bobby signed

“My cousin. In 2 ways.” Ramon answered leaning to one side “1. my biological father is the younger brother of her dad, Missa,” he shifted to his other “2. my dad is close friends to her dad Philza. The two were in war together.”

Both kids nodded in understanding and Richarlyson signed “Cellbit and Philza worked on enigmas together after the war”

“Roier and Missa’s brother used to date” Bobby signed trying to be sly, presumably hiding from Roier who threw a small piece of meat at Bobby making him laugh.

“Okay asshole, my bad dating decisions aren't their business.” Roier chuckled out and got the piece of meat thrown back at him.

Fit looked around and realized Everyone had been watching the conversation… well except for Pac, the first time Fit looked at him since the meal started, “do you all know sign?” Fit asked aloud as he signed

Roier and Cellbit in tandum shook their hands to indicate it was only kinda

“We can understand well but we don't practice the way those two do.” Roier shrugged

“Besides Pac who refuses to try” Cellbit gestured his head toward Pac starting a laugh and then he paused seemingly after seeing Pac face “Ei espera-” Cellbit looked aprehensive “are you hard of hearing?” He turned back to Fit

Fit was taken aback and looked around the table for a second and everyone looked as bewildered as him. Except for Pac who looked completely done with everything. “Uh yea… the end crystals during the war took a lot of my hearing. I wear hearing aids for it and everything.” Fit kinda akwardly turned his ear to show them

Cellbit licked his lips and looked mortified “Pac é por causa disso?-”

Pac cut him off mid question “Sim, é exatamente por isso!” He sighed and stood up taking his plate with him “I'm going to bed” he huffed and brought his plate to the kitchen before turning back and climbing the stairs shooting Cellbit a look as he passed

Cellbit bit his lip “Eu peço desculpas amanhã, eu fui meio mlk.””

Richarlyson nodded in agreement but tugged at Bobby’s Overalls. They turned themselves at an angle so that no one could see their hands without making an attempt obvious before turning back to Ramon.

“Hey Ramon, after snack tomorrow do you want to practice with us? Tallulah and them are coming up for Pepito’s birthday so it's probably a good idea to be on the top of our game” Richarlyson said Decidedly

“Oh, sure! That'd be awesome.” Ramon smiled akwardly and looked to Fit clearly proud of himself.

Fit gave him a inconspicuous thumbs up.

“Yay! More practice!” Pepito smiled wide.

Richarlyson and Bobby looked panicked as they looked to eachother.

“Oh…Sorry Pepito. Next time you can join but I don't think Ramon wants to help teach you his first time practicing with us.” Bobby shrugged

“I don't mind” Ramon assured.

Richarlyson and Bobby looked to eachother. Then they looked to eachother then at their parents, Cellbit looked at them expectedly. Roier looked to Cellbit and the kids clearly trying not to giggle. They looked back to eachother.

“How about you practice with me and Richars the day after? You've gotten to spend a lot of time with Ramon.” Bobby offered trying to placate the seven year old “I've only just gotten the opportunity” he said matter a factly.

Pepito looked to Cellbit. And Cellbit nodded thinking it was fair although Pepito seemed unconvinced

“I’ll paint you a bunny” Bobby said flatly

“Deal!” Pepito sat off of his chair to shake Bobby’s hand and Bobby stood to meet his hand and shake it.

“I'll have it ready by next week.” Bobby Promised

“I'm holding you to that deal” Roier pointed to Bobby with his fork “I'm not raising liars”

Bobby smiled and nodded “I know”

“Or cheats”

“He’ll still get his birthday present” Bobby put his hands up defensively.

Roier nodded in approval and stood up taking his and Pepito’s plates to the sink. He came back and shooed Pepito out of his chair “come on Pepini, Bath time”

“Aaaaapppppaaaaa” Pepito whined and seconds later Bobby and Richarlyson were out of their seats going:

“Don't worry Pepito!”

“We’ll save you!”

“Hold on”

Roier tried to stop them "Esperen no alto” But it was to late

In a fluid motion Richarlyson hoisted Pepito out of his seat and on to Bobby’s back as they ran off with him. Pepito squealed in delight holding on to Bobby tight and laughing as the kids ran around the living room with Roier trying to catch up.

Cellbit just laughed

“Gatinho! Ayuda!” Roier shouted

“Awww but they're being so sweet. Gosto de ver você correndo atrás deles G..” Cellbit stood up quickly cutting himself off as the teenagers started running toward the door “Q MERDA! he blocked their path both kids running into him and they tumbled to the floor. Roier caught his breath and picked Pepito off of Bobby’s back.

“Ow” Cellbit groaned

“Ve a caminar y se te pasaf” Roier called back As he marched up the stairs with a still giggling Pepito in his arms.

-

The following day started the same as any other…. Kinda…

Fit had gotten done a bit earlier than normal and was the second one downstairs for breakfast when usually he was near last. He'd been only beaten by Roier who was currently cooing out in what sounded like concern but looked like an excuse to cuddle standing up while Cellbit dosed out assurances, Cuddling back with one arm and trying to finish breakfast with the other.

Fit couldn't understand what they were saying. it being to quite and he barely understood Spanish or Portuguese.

Fit was stood halfway down the stairs watching when Bobby and Richarlyson squeezed past him, saw their dads, looked to eachother and chuckled going to the table

“Blehhhh” Bobby called at them. “Get a room”

“At least my hard work payed off” Richarlyson hummed causing Bobby to laugh even harder.

Cellbit pulled away from the cuddle “Okay, merdinhas, seis querem brincar assim?” And chased after them in a brisk walk as they tried to escape in a brisk walk. Everyone too tired to give a good try.

Pac walked down the stairs and looked around “where's Pepito?”

Roier finished placing food on the table and looked around “must not have gotten up?

Pac went to go back up the stairs.

“Ey no it's your day off I'll get Pepito.” Roier stopped him and Roier went back upstairs

Pac hummed and went to sit at the table stalling Bobby and Richarlyson’s attempt to ‘flea’ to give Richarlyson a hug and a kiss on his head before letting them keep going.

Cellbit was polite enough to pause his pursuit.

Ramon went down the stairs and saw fit stopped and looked at his face “Fit are you okay?” He stepped out of the way as he saw Roier come down Pepito being dragged behind him coughing.

At the bottom of the stairs Roier stopped to see if it would correct itself. Roier lifted Pepito’s arms holding them so he wasn't covering his face anymore and and after a few more coughs Pepito gave a thumbs up. Roier let go and Pepito hugged Roier, Roier hugged him back before sighing and picking him up.

“Goddamn asthma” Fit could barely hear Roier whisper and Cellbit detoured from his chase to take Pepito into his own arms as Roier pressed a gentle kiss to Pepito’s temple.

Ramon started pushing Fit along to the table and getting them both seated.

Cellbit sat Pepito at the table while Bobby and Richas came behind him. With Bobby telling Pepito rubbing his back “Wow eres muy suertudo, cuando yo tenía asma nadie me dio mimos.”

“Trataste de pelear con Jaiden y conmigo cuando intentamos acercarnos a ti!” Roier protested causing Bobby a chuckle and a smile from Pepito as everyone got sat around the table.

Because Pac wasn't working neither was Richarlyson but Roier reminded him he still had to help cook this time because he and Bobby promised they could cook lunch on their own today. Richarlyson gave a thumbs up and everyone went on their way.

Bobby was as much help as normal and Ramon had been entrusted to fix up the engine on something Fit couldn't remember if he tried, but Roier and Cellbit were still acting odd.

Cellbit, who usually was the one being a freak about water breaks, was now being over shown by Roier who wouldn't let Cellbit work for 5 minutes without drinking water. Cellbit didn't protest but for most of them he clearly barely took a sip to satisfy the Mexican before moving on.

As the morning went on and got closer to noon Roier just seemed more and more clingy and Cellbit was getting less and less insistent on staying on track.

“Oh gracias a dios” Bobby huffed “I can go start on lunch, you two are so cheesy” he whined walking off causing Cellbit and Roier to giggle.

Fit wasn't sure what that was about but he was just trying to stay focused as he heard quiet arguing from the two still in Spanish and Portuguese.

“Kk se eu te beijar, você me deixa realmente finalizar meu trabalho aqui ?.. certo?.” Cellbit chuckled causing Fit to pause because he did understand part of that…

“Si, yes, i promise” Roier sounded like he was smiling

“De boa?”

“Por lo menos 5 segundos” Roier stipulated

“Okay, pucker up” Cellbit hummed

This couldn't be happening, right? Fit tried not to but he tuned his head and there he saw Cellbit cupping Roier’s face with both hands kissing him as Roier was pulling Him closer. Fit looked away not daring to be caught seeing that.

Roier let out a dramatized moan and Cellbit pushed him off with a scold “…. Volte ao trabalho,”

And Roier did not even bothering to remind and insist on the water half as much.

The lunch and the rest of the work day had a weird fuzz around it. At first Fit was processing the idea that Pac had been married to a cheater for who knows how long. Then Fit had to turn over the moral of telling Pac versus keeping him and Ramon afloat.

If he told Pac he'd lose his job eventually right? If Pac said how he'd probably be fired immediately. if Pac kept a secret of how he found out they'd divorce and probably liquidate and Fit would still have to find new work.

Snack time finished up and the work day was officially over. Pac, who had joined to have snack with everyone stood up giving Richarlyson a hug and giving a side one to Cellbit "Eu vou ver, se termino uns negócios pessoais, antes de eu tentar começar o jantar.”

“Okay de boa,divirta-se po”

Ramon gave Fit a quick hug before going upstairs with Bobby and Richarlyson to practice sign and in a Split second decision while Cellbit was looking to see what Pepito wanted Fit followed Pac outside.

“Pac! Pac!” Fit called out in a stage whisper, half walking half running down the stairs to catch up. “Pac, we need to talk!”

Pac groaned out a sigh turning to give Fit a glare warning him to reconsider. Fit stopped in his tracks and did but shook it off “Pac I'm being serious.”

Pac rolled his eyes and faced him fully “okay what could you possibly need to tell me, hm?” He shoved his hands in his Jean pockets

Fit paused “okay, you have basically no reason to believe me. I get it. But While I was working today…” Fit paused again not wanting to fuck up how he phrased it “And you know I had been noticing for a while that things seemed odd…” he paused again

“Spit it out Fitche!” Pac snapped leaning into his words

“Your husband is Cheating on You!” Fit finally managed. Before blushing at what was once a term of endearment being used in this context.

Pac’s face softened less from annoyance to confusion “I… excuse me, my what?”

Fit had to take a second to contain himself again and nodded “your husband… Cellbit… I uh saw him kissing Roier earlier” Fit looked away akwardly “and you know despite everything I don't think it's right to just let your husband cheat on you without telling you.”

It was quiet for a moment before he heard a soft snort, then a chuckle, then a laugh and by the time Fit looked back up to Pac he was double overed

“What's so funny?”

“Okay Fit who set you up to this? Hm? Cellbit? Não... ele tomou oque eu disse como sério..” Pac hummed he gave another chuckle “he's so protective because Mike’s not here… uuuuh Roier Right? has to be! Bobby and Richas Don't have enough weight to be worth it if I get mad and told Cellbit” pac nodded decidedly “what did he say to get you to joke about that?” He said still chuckling

Fit was taken aback and hand to pause unsure how to proceed “no… Pac I'm not joking. No one set me up to say that I'm telling you what happened.”

Pac stopped chuckling and Fit felt bad as he knew reality was setting in. But Pac just looked more confused “you're telling me you think Cellbit is cheating?”

“Yes” Fit nodded

“On me”

“Yes”

“With Roier?”

“Yes”

“Cellbit’s husband.”

“Yes!” Fit said exasperated before processing the words “I'm sorry his what?”

“Yea Cellbit isn't my husband.” Pac shifted his weight “he and Roier are married. I'm not married. Check their hands they never take their rings off.” He showed his own hand for a second before shrugging “Why did you think I was married to him?”

Fit paused and had to think back “I mean. I knew Cellbit had a husband I don't think I was told who. And then I showed up and you walked out and Richarlyson called you both Pai I just assumed!” He blushed a bit in his embarrassment “then he threatened me over you and and I guess that nailed it in that he was just a super protective, maybe a bit crazy, husband.”

Pac thought about it and nodded “oh yea that makes sense. And Roier wasn't home that first week” he chuckled “although if you thought that was protective and crazy you should see him when anyone tries to flirt with Roier or makes him feel unsafe.”

Fit nodded “I'll take your word…” Fit rubbed his neck “sorry for bothering you… guess I'm just kinda a dumbass?”

Pac hummed “yea kinda.. but you're well meaning, Ent.. esta bem.” He shrugged with a genuine smile

Fit nodded “well I'm glad you can see my attempt. Uh what’s the joke you thought I was pulling on Roier’s behalf?”

Pac snorted “ugh this thing from when we first moved here… it's a long story…” Pac waved him off “Não se preocupe.”

“Well if you say so.” Fit took a step back towards the house.

Pac turned away to continue walking “I'll see you at dinner Fit.” Pac chuckled again “it's still so funny… Me! Married to the man who ate my leg…”

“Yea hillarious” Fit agreed without thinking and went back up the stairs. He may not have meant for it to go that way but maybe this'll lessen the tension between them.

It wasn't until the door slammed behind him that Pac’s words fully processed.

“Did he just say Cellbit ate his leg?”

Chat, hate to say it. This Fic may die after I post chapter 5. I hope it doesn't but I'm at a loss with ch.6 but I'm TRYING. And there will be context Fics for this au, stuff in this universe I have that I have modivation and direction on. Hope anyone still reading this is having a good one <3

[robby-bobby-tommy]

This one won't be in a form of any cohesive drabble. It's a mix of truth and hcs

Imagine how Fit feels. He, the man of 2b2t and constant betrayal, where survival mastered the most, stayed behind, loosing precious time to escape safely, only to stay with Ramon. As much as I thought Fit would fully revert to his old self, but his progress is still there. He desperately tried to break the block below to get his son out of this hell. Then the Eye spoke. Ramon wasn't dumb, he knew what's happening. He placed his last signs "bye dad. Give them hell".

"I will...I will!!" Fit said, running away. No, he couldn't allow himself leave with his baby boy.

He ran back. "Ramon!! Ramon!" He screamed. As the rocks fell, giving veteran a concussion and breaking his prosthetic arm, he started. Spitting blood, he tried to put his hand on the glass, where Ramon can place it. But there was no Ramon. His son was once again ripped away from him, so he had to run. Bleeding, he ran as fast as he can.

Imagine how much survivor's guilt he feels, being able to save only Bagi. The murderer, the untrusting war criminal, who taught himself to put his own life and safety first, yelled "I can save people! " After his best friend and member of morning crew landed, unable to fly again. Imagine how much Fit changed, risking his own safety and live, to save at least one person. Then imagine how much he despises himself for not thinking of Dapper first. Veteran might've saved someone, but in one big boom he probably lost his son and love. And he wasn't alone. He doesn't want to believe his baby boy made in heaven is gone, but this thought will eat him alive.

Now this is a totally hcs territory. There's no proof in lore, but I wanna.

Fit has already stated that he won't cry, while his on stream. This is a gift from the past, because to cry is to show a vulnerability, and to show vulnerability is to get trapped, killed, tricked, destroyed. So I imagine this veteran to show his distress in other way. He didn't built the gym for nothing. Back on island, he destroyed. He punched a punching bag or burned the ship down, but it was his only way of relief and coping (kind of like this) . So now, on the ship, when all memories of purgatory, Pac, Forever saying "don't get emotional about it", his lost friends, but most importantly, Ramon, he started to punch everything he could with his normal, human arm. He doesn't care if he'll break his knuckles, it would be better, honestly. Maybe physical pain will supersede his psychological one.

Imagine Fit, alone, on the stern, watching whatever happened to the island. Imagine Fit start to punch the railings, the floor, everything his hand could reach.

There's when my second hc comes out. I had this HC for a long time, but had no situation to put it in.

Fit didn't change anything about his arm, because it was the only thing he had left of Ramon. This is why it broke during the earthquake. Now it was hanging limp like yolk, reminding of son he couldn't save, good life he couldn't have, and the past he had. For me prosthetic arm represents a lot of things, but mostly his past on 2b2t and his mission. So imagine Fit looking at the knuckles on his left hand that had "2 b 2 t" Gravured on it. Imagine him being so overwhelmed with guilt, pain and flashbacks ripping his own arm away, punching it, trying to break it to get all the pain away (again an arcane example. Not quite as teary but you get the idea. TW flashing colors). But God bless Ramon for making his arm ultra durable. So he just keeps punching his past, his duty, purgatory, only hurting himself more. No one could say now, if these tears were because of damaged skull, bleeding shoulder and hip, pulsing with ache in his knuckles or a psychological breakdown.

After calming down as much as he could, and put his armed back on, he limped in the main place, where everyone surviving were. Their backs are turned away from the entrance.

"But the most important question. Where is Fred?" Tubbo said, jokingly.

But Fit wasn't in the mood for jokes. Pushing someone away he limped to his fellow morning crew member. "We potentially lost our kids, and the only thing that you think about is your f_ck boy?" Veteran used all his left self control to not raise his hand on Tubbo, but he was pulled away.

So here they are. The only surviving, losing so much, but still alive, praying that maybe, somehow the eggs are fine.

[starstruckpurpledragon]

S1 Flash AU where Barry doesn't reset time and Cisco manages - barely - to escape Eowells before getting murdered. Because his breach powers activate due to his 'holy shit my favorite boss is about to murder me' panic and he falls through the floor (gravity yeeting him out of danger fast enough only because Eobard was not expecting it and thus failed to react, left standing there holding his vibrating hand out and looking ridiculous)

And his powers dump him halfway across the city. Cisco didn't go to Caitlin because last he knew she's in the middle of Jitters. Not Barry since Cisco had no idea where he was and also his powers were seeking 'safety' which was not where Barry was at with the whole city-destroying-storm problem going.

He lands in front of the one person he knows, without a doubt, will not turn him over to Harrison Wells even if he won't actually do anything to help Cisco otherwise. Hartley Rathaway, who did at least attempt to help find Ronnie even if it was also a ploy to escape.

From Hartley's PoV this shiny portal appears, dumps a Cisco Ramon at his feet, and blinks immediately out of existence, leaving Cisco passed out on the floor.

Hartley - When I was hoping to have hot guys fall at my feet, I did not mean Cisco Ramon.

Cisco - *too unconscious to realize Hartley called him hot*

When Cisco wakes up, it takes him a bit to realize that he's relatively safe and he winds up spilling the whole 'Harrison Wells is a time traveler called Eobard Thawne and he tried to fucking murder me' thing with Hartley. Because Hartley's letting Cisco ramble in hopes of getting an explanation for the whole appearing from nowhere to fall at his feet thing. Which he isn't really getting, but at least Cisco doesn't pass out again when Hartley suggests that maybe Cisco is also a meta.

Cisco - What are we gonna do about Evil Wells???

Hartley - What we?

The city is not destroyed by the tsunami - the Flash was able to counter that - but the storm still damages a significant portion of the city. The Flash is missing, Joe is in the hospital, Mark Mardon died in his own storm as some kind of ironic retribution by nature, and Cisco can't get ahold of Caitlin (she's fine). Hartley manages to get in touch with Jerry, but learns his dad's dead and his mom actually wants to know he's alright.

With the city in a disarray and the Flash not showing up, it does wind up being Cisco and Hartley - and other metas crawling out of the woodwork - who start saving lives from damaged buildings.

Suddenly the Flash isn't the only 'good meta' media darling. And even some of the more criminal types are getting lauded as heroes. It's great PR for metas and it makes Cisco that Team Flash isn't doing enough to actually help they're fellow metas. They've been so busy trying to stop bad guys that they're not actually helping their community.

Of course, how does he tell that to Barry when someone they all trusted (except Joe) has turned out to be Barry's mom's killer? Barry's gonna be focused on that, understandably. If they can find Barry.

And, of course, Cisco refuses to believe that Barry might be dead. (and he's right, but Barry's got other problems at the moment and, unfortunately, it might take a while before everyone finally finds out he's okay)

[sadtrashking]

HEY!! actually wrote these all out u can tell where i started going off of mostly appearance for these because i only really know a few qsmp characters help obviously not everyone but uhm. swagever (sorry for sending it to inbox it was too big to fit in the comments on that other post)

Tubbo: Groyvle (Frozen in time/Time related things. Looks like how I imagine her, I like the idea of him not being a fully evolved mon I think it oddly fits her)

Spreen: Hisuian Typhloshion!!!!! (Guy who is like darker colors and the ghost typing is such a cool like. hint towards his tragic fate of fucking dying. Plus works well with Fit and Ramon being normal types)

DanTDM: Shiny Sceptile (works mostly with my specific QSMP dragon lore but TLDR is that Tubbo and Dan are really similar genetics wise and look almost identical, but Dan's fully evolved while Tubbo hasn't really mastered it yet hence. Shiny Sceptile (which is more blue so its fitting)

Bad: Yveltal (Death vulture thing, Dark Type, God-related status, Immortal)

Jaiden: I know the obvious choice is like Chatot but. I like to think she'd be an Archeops I feel like she'd be a raptor of some kind and Archeops is like both that and a parrot it feels made for her…. SHE'D HAVE HER NORMAL COLORS THOUGH I THINK

Pac: Shiny Dusk Form Lycanrock: I like to think Q!Pac is some kind of shiba hybrid so he's GOTTA be a dog and Shiny Dusk Lycanrock is the EXACT colors

Fit: Ursaring because like. Look at it that's just him

Cellbit: Meowscarada this is another appearance based one but I REALLYYY like Meowscarada Cellbit its fun to me.

Baghera: KILOWATTRELLLLLL i dont think any of the ducks fit her and I fucking LOVEEEE kilowattrel i think it's a really fun choice for her

Roier: Midnight Lycanrock I like to think Roier is an African Wild Dog and I think it makes this guy fit him! Plus he's red and emo which is fitting i think

Foolish: Palafin! I don't wanna give him Sharpedo because i think it'd be a bit too silly, and Garchomp is for Leo, so Palafin!! Works well with me imagining him as a Sawshark anyways…

Phil: Honchkrow. IT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE HIMMM ITS SUCH A GOOD MON FOR HIM hes not corviknight because thats my c!phil headcanon plus i feel like q!phil's less intimidating

Missa: Alolan Marowak i know next to nothing about this guy but. dude's an alolan marowak

Cucurucho: BLOOD MOON URSALUNA THIS FUCKERS SUCH A URSALUNA its a big intimidating bear that's face is mostly obscured and doesn't really display much emotion raaaagh its so fitting

Fred: Beartic because blue polar bear but GOD i love ur pangoro idea thats so fun

(Eggs)

Sunny: Cosmog because i loveeee the idea that shes gonna turn into a solgaleo its so funny to me. groyvle dad with a metal sun lion god following him around PLUS COSMOG FITS HER IN LIKE A LOVING SPARKLY THINGS WAY… made of stars

Dapper: Zweilous (I think a lot of the eggs have evolved atp) Fits bad's dark typing! Little guy!!! Little guy with no eyes!!!!

Ramon: Drampa. Mustache dragon thanggggggggg also the idea of this baby dragon being a grampa is really funny

Pomme: DIPPLINNNNNN make that girl into a hydrapple to match dapper becoming a hydreigon eventually. the hydra sisters :fire: ALSO DIPPLIN IS REALLY CUTE i dont particularly care for flapple and appletun feels too like. lazy? for pomme? idk

Richas: Craniados!!!!!! The way people draw Richas reminds me SOOOO much of a pachycephalosaur so I gave him the pachycephalosaur pokemom!!!

Chayanne: FRAXUREEEE haxorus is SUCHHH a chay pokemon to me i think its the yellow. i like to think he's the first to evolve due to being the oldest :3

Tallulah: Swablu: I've always associated the altaria line with music and Tallulah with music so!!!!!

Flippa: Goomy. u'll never fucking guess why

Leo: GABITEEEEEE its a shark dragon its MADEEEE for her honestly

Bobby: Bagon because I feel like it mirrors Jaiden's whole thing with flying in a really sad way

I FUCKING LOVE THEESE. God I love pokemon aus so much they're so fun. And sw on the just appearance ones because they work too. Pac and sunny are probably my favorites from this list

[barbatos-sama]

so i've made some changes, the family structure especially has changed plus the circumstances of roxanna's death, and it kinda surprised me looking back at the original post how much it's changed and i didn't even realize.

• twins gillian and christopher anthony, as well as their younger brother glenn, are patrick's children. he had them with an unnamed wife who died when they were still young.

• patrick and ramone are not brothers, they have a natural rivalry that the chief of police and a mafia boss would of course. they could have been brothers in a different life, because roxanna and ramone were an item. together they had a daughter, who turned out to actually be a son (trans rights) zachary.

• (so zach is a cousin)

• roxanna and ramone had secretly been seeing each other because obviously roxanna does not want her ultimate narc brother knowing she's canoodling with the literal mob. patrick thinks roxanna is a single mother whose dad is completely out of the picture, but that's not quite true. ramone didn't really get involved with his child, but it was less out of not caring about him and more out of not wanting to involve their kid in yknow, mob stuff. he still sent good money home to support them and he and roxanna still banged on occasion.

• roxanna spent a lot of time with patrick's kids once their mom died because she didn't have a lot going on her life (she was living comfortably off that mob money. shhh don't tell patrick.) so the siblings and zach were raised close to each other. anthony especially in his grief over his mom really clung to roxanna. (no one tell anthony this but roxanna obviously favored zach, the kid that actually came out of her. she never let that show because she's not a monster, just thought i'd throw that in lmao)

• however one might patrick and his force finally raided ramone's complex and an intense shootout ensued. unfortunately that was one of the nights where roxanna and ramone were together there, so patrick ended up killing not only his long time rival but also his sister, who he had no idea was even there.

• all the kids were devastated by losing roxanna, who by that point had essentially been raising them for years. everyone except gillian, who was a big daddy's girl and never much cared for roxanna (who she viewed as trying to replace her real mom).

• as per protocol both ramone and roxanna's souls were saved in canisters. patrick took both of their souls back home. ramone's soul canister would be displayed like a trophy in his office. it's not uncommon for famous/infamous people's souls to be treated this way. it's kind of like how celebrities graves get robbed. it's a legal gray area so while a lot of people view it as immoral it's not technically illegal to treat souls like an item rather than human remains.

• patrick didn't want the kids finding out that he was the one responsible for roxanna's death, but it didn't take much to put two and two together. anthony especially was furious that yet another mother figure had been taken from him, and it was a screaming match. patrick didn't care about his sister very much, he was honestly more angry that she was involved in criminal activity than the fact that he'd accidentally killed her. he also didn't care about his kids, in fact he resented having to deal with them. (with the exception of gillian, she was the favorite and kissed his ass all the time) patrick was already planning on kicking anthony out of the house since he was 18, and he saw an opportunity.

• in an effort to be the most evil person ever, he told anthony that he was going to use roxanna's soul to make a legacy, and anthony would have to fend for himself in the world while taking care of that legacy, so he would know what it's like "having a little fucker who takes and takes from you." anthony knew that if he didn't agree to it, his aunt's soul would probably be disrespected, whether it be used at a footrest, sold, or worse. it was also a way for patrick to kind of "get back" at roxanna for putting a blemish on the day family reputation, even though this legacy isn't Actually roxanna.

• thus auggie was created, using a military grade machine. at the time, anthony said no to giving them an activation phrase, yknow the phrase that could trigger them to become a mindless drone with no agency. patrick super secretly programmed one in anyway, a secret mousekatool for later 🤫

• so, now anthony is 19 and he has a whole new person to look after, as well as zach, who patrick would not take custody of. now it's the same as before, anthony is struggling to take care of two minors while he's barely an adult himself. he gets into the criminal life as it's really his only option after being dropped into the shady underbelly of the city so suddenly.

• he meets my beloved blue eyed blonde boy dallas blackbell. after doing petty teenage crime for a while anthony finally managed to get a real job, and was trying to sort of get away from that kind of life, but dallas stuck around because zach and auggie had grown fond of him. anthony started getting annoyed at dallas' presence and definitely didn't like him being around auggie. after all it was roxanna's involvement with crime that got her killed.

• dallas is a stubborn little asshole though and didn't give up on auggie, because he could tell that anthony wasn't treating her right (see: overprotectiveness and locking her in her room to "protect" her)

• queue kitten, zach's mom, offering to take them out of illumine. zach and glenn go, knowing they'll have better opportunities for transitioning and medical school respectively. kitten won't accept auggie though and anthony won't leave auggie behind, resulting in it just being the two of them left in their tiny apartment. zach really hates having to leave auggie and tells dallas to keep an eye on them.

• something something auggie sneaking out of her window to go on adventures with dallas during the night.

• by this point several years had passed and gillian and anthony were back in touch, they would talk on the phone. they were very different people with very different opinions on patrick but he wanted to at least Try to get along with her since his family was so broken and scattered. during their conversations he mentioned how auggie was becoming rebellious and how he was afraid how they would end up. gillian ended up cheekily giving up the information that patrick had told her, auggie's activation phrase. anthony was disgusted and said he'd never use it, but uh oh now he knows. the mousekatool is planted.

• something something auggie getting that head wound, zach trying to use the activation word, auggie having a bitch you THOUGHT moment, emancipation, dallas taking auggie away from there so they can live in the van together and be gay

• zach officially moves back in with gillian after this since patrick no longer lives there, he's upgraded from police chief to politician now, with gillian taking his old job.

• i will write more about auggie and dallas' gay van adventures in a future post but this one is getting long

[wildlife4life]

Temptation Tuesday

Once again have to mention how much I love this new tag game created by the lovely @honestlydarkprincess. Thanks to this tag game I actually was inspired to create one my temptations and its very exciting!

Rules: share something about an idea you have/something that's speaking to you/an au you'd like to see and are considering writing/ ect. Basically anything that is tempting you away from your current wips!

I was tagged by @ebdaydreamer so here are few ideas that have come to me recently

Yellowstone AU: The Diaz Ranch. Eddie and Buck are kind of like Rip and Beth, but not really. They met on the Diaz ranch when Buck was saved by Bobby after running away. Eddie and Buck fall in love, but then his sister discovers the relationship and tattles to their dad. Buck is sent away to work on another ranch, Eddie tries to adhere to what his family wants for him and starts dating Shannon. She becomes pregnant, Eddie enlist. Eddie comes back after the helicopter crash, Shannon doesn't run, but she does move back to town and has a very strained relationship with Eddie and Christopher who remains on the ranch. When Eddie returns, he discovers that Buck is back working for his dad's ranch along with his new friends Chimney and Hen. Buck's long lost sister Maddie is also there as the ranch's own personal vet. His dad only brought Buck back on because he is the best damn horse wrangler and swore up and down that nothing would happen between him and Eddie. Buck knows about Shannon and Christopher, believes that Eddie never truly loved him and is heartbroken. Eddie doesn't know that his dad sent Buck away, that Buck left on his own. Ramon wants Eddie to take over the ranch, making him work alongside the ranchers, including Buck. Ensue the drama and the two boys falling in love all over again.

The Voice different meeting Au: Buck and Eddie are Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton. Eddie is a country artist, Buck pop rock? Like Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, and Adam Levine type music. Both are coming out of horribly ending long term relationships when they are tapped to judge the Voice. They fall in love and start making music about each other. Even make a song together. The world is freaking out over Buddie, paparazzi go nuts when ever their out together, new outlets have very inside 'dish' and so on.

A possible continuation of my soon to post (keep on the look out!) 6x16 coda future fic. This coda somehow went from like a quick 500 words to 2K. Doesn't sound like I alot, but I literally started it out like a little blurb like my previous codas lol.

Grimm Buddie AU: Eddie is a Grimm and Buck is wesen. (pronounced with a V).

A different Wolf! Eddie and Witch! Buck. Except this time Eddie is given a prophecy as a teenager by another witch about his future mate.

Alright hope that is tempting enough! I am off to finish my coda and I will be posting soon, and not just here. Its big enough that I'll be posting to AO3, so keep an eye out!

No tags from me! Everyone I would like to tag has been tagged! But I would love to see everyone's temptations! Happy Tuesday!

[cassandrasimplex]

CW: creepy predatory dude vs teenagers story, teenagers win unscathed, flawless victory (starts in fourth paragraph) (not counting this warning) (Dee Snider is the hero-in-effigy, not personally present and definitely not the yikes part)

Straying almost but not quite completely from the topic here...

My all-time favorite compliment I've ever received was a time I was in a corner store and the cashier looked up at me, messy long brown hair and black leather jacket, and just blurted out, "Oh my god, you look just like Joey Ramone!"

He immediately started apologizing because that's not something it was considered kind in the mid-90s to say to someone presenting as female. I just asked him to stop apologizing and not ruin the moment for me, and I've treasured it for decades.

But my second favorite compliment... was accidentally being compared to Dee Snider. Or, kind of, tricking someone into it.

I was sleeping over at a friend's house at the time. We were both in high school, somewhere around 15 or 16 years old. Her mom smoked, her dad smoked, she smoked, and her parents knew she smoked... but there was some weird house rule about her not underage-smoking in front of other underage people in front of her parents, or in front of her parents in front of other underage people, or something. I dunno. I think it had to do with her dad being a lawyer and needing to pretend he didn't know.

So anyway, that's why we snuck out sometimes at night or in the early morning and walked down the street to a playground, in our pajamas, so she could smoke.

And there we were, a couple of decidedly underage girl looking people, in pajamas, sitting on a swingset at a neighborhood playground, when some very middle-aged dude walked up and started talking to us. Extremely awkwardly. Talking about how pretty we were. At four in the morning.

(This is, I promise, as gross as the story gets. "The princess doesn't get eaten by eels at this time.")

The guy was trying to figure out who to compare me to so I would feel flattered, but clearly didn't know (or didn't feel he knew) enough about teen pop culture or Young People Those Days (the 80s) so he just said, "You remind me of that singer. You know, that band? What's the name of that band?"

And then he paused, waiting for me to fill in the blank for him.

Now the weird thing about being autistic is that there's a lot about social interaction I Do Not Grok, but because I've never grokked it instinctively, I've spent a lot of time consciously analyzing it. So there's this weird side effect, where even though I still don't pick up on things allistics think are glaringly obvious, I DO pick up on things they think are cleverly hidden from everyone else's view.

Which is why I could immediately tell that this guy had precisely and exactly NO.FUCKING.BODY in mind and played that whole "Golly gee gosh, that name has just completely slipped my mind" game, assuming that whoever came to MY mind would be someone I admired and wanted to be compared to. And one thing a lot of autistics learn early, or at least earlier than most of our peers, is malicious compliance. So I played along.

"Which band? I don't know who you mean. Can you tell me one of their songs?"

He did not expect to start a conversation about music. He'd expected me to immediately blurt out whoever I thought was really pretty and wanted to be like. He had no idea what to do when I switched gears to, uh. The actual topic of conversation he introduced. He started fumbling around, trying to be as vague as possible. "Uh... Woman? Girl? Something Girl? Or no, wait... Sister, maybe? Something Sister? Or is 'Sister' in the name of the band? I just... I can't quite bring it to mind..."

"Sisters of Mercy?"

This irritated him. I liked irritating him, so I just started throwing out every band name I could think of with "Sister" in it, and a few I made up.

Finally, I got to "Twisted Sister?" and for some reason he jumped on that like it was the last life boat leaving a sinking ship. "YES! Twisted Sister. You look just like their lead singer! What's her name again?"

"You mean Dee?"

"Yeah, that sounds right, Dee. You look just like her."

And that's when my friend and I lost it. We were laughing so hard she almost fell off her swing. I managed to gasp out something along the lines "...never thought I'd be told I look like Dee Snider" and when I added the last name, dude finally figured out that he'd slipped up.

He started insisting he meant Swing Out Sister, which is weird because I look (and looked) nothing like Corinne Drewery. It was just such a weird "Hello kids, I also am a fellow kid" kind of moment, especially because my friend by that time was pissed and kept trying to get him to name one single Swing Out Sister song and he had no idea. But he couldn't really get a full sentence out by that point, because every time he got three words into a sentence, I would just yell "I LOOK LIKE DEE SNIDER!" and collapse into laughter again.

Eventually he got really mad that these two actual literal children wouldn't follow the script for whatever gross fantasy he was trying to play out, plus he was worried that my shouting "DEE SNIDER!" at four in the morning would wake up neighbors and call attention, so he stomped off.

My friend and I were pretty much too young to really have felt like the situation was genuinely dangerous (me more so than her), but looking back with the perspective of intervening decades, it still gives me shivers.

Anyway. My second favorite compliment is the time I tricked a guy into telling me I looked just like the singer for Twisted Sister and found out that Dee Snider's mere name is my own personal talisman versus creepy gross dudes with an air of vaguely threatening assault.

I have not, since then, ever found another opportunity to yell "DEE SNIDER!" instead of, you know, "help!" or "I don't know you!" or any of the other things people tend to ignore as not their problem when a child or woman-looking-person shouts them in a panic. But I've always known I have that in reserve.

I LOOK LIKE DEE SNIDER.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

I have a idea so Felix’s mom and dad go on a date and they say no people over while we are gone so Felix being young and he invites pepa over to his house they fuck and Felix tells matoe not to tell mom and dad so when Felix’s mom goes in his room to put his clothes in his dresser and she finds condoms in there she doesn’t care but she see’s that it only comes with 3 condoms but it’s only one in there and she’s knows that she just got them yesterday so Mateo being a little brother tells his mom and dad that Felix had pepa over?? ( I really love your story’s they are so good 😊 keep it up) - from djking

This is oddly SO specific, but I will take ANY chance to write Félix's parents because I love them, so let's GO-

"Now your brother Julio won't be back till late tonight, he's helping the Guzman's out with their new house. That, and I think Rose Guzman kinda likes watchin' him while he works. So, with all the other kids out tonight, YOU need to watch Mateo, got it?"

Félix looked up from the pile of clothes he was currently folding. Being old enough to be 'the man of the house', he had to fold the kid's clothes when his mom wasn't able to.

"Si, mami, I understand. Surprised he didn't want to go to that slumber party."

"Oh you know him-poor boy can't help but start trouble. Now tell me, how good is your mami lookin'?"

Félix chuckled as he walked up behind his mother, meeting her reflection's gaze.

"You look BEAUTIFUL, mami, even more than usual. Papi is going to be tripping all over you."

"That man better-made me have six whole ass kids. Including you, and honey, am I proud of you."

He chuckled as his mother held onto his face to kiss it, earning her a kiss to her forehead too. So he loved his mami, so much, big whoop.

"You want me to walk you downstairs? Send you off?"

His mom laughed, her laugh as loud as it was honest. She sat up from her vanity, lightly swatting at his shoulder.

"Well I raised myself a little prince charming! Alright, alright, you can walk ya mama."

Félix offered his arm to her, and he helped her walk down the steps. He was mostly worried over the massive size of her heels, but he knew better than to question her choice in clothes. No body in this house could tell her what to do. His dad was dressed up in his brown suit, and he cracked just the smallest smile upon seeing his wife. Félix's dad didn't exactly talk very much, preferring to let his wife so most of the speaking. Unless of course, he wanted to critique you or call you out if you did something really stupid. He took his wife's hand, holding it in his own. In her heels, mami looked even TALLER than her husband (which was saying something, he already barely reached her shoulder).

"Te ves hermosa, bon bon."

"Aw, thank you, Ramone baby. Félix, be a peach and get my purse, I left it in the kitchen."

Félix nodded and did as she said. He found her purse on the dinning room table, but stopped, just for a moment, to speak a peek at them. His father was trailing kisses up her arm like a madman, muttering how beautiful and how lovely and how wonderful she was. Félix's dad wasn't very PDA, but get them in a room alone together, and this guy wouldn't stop. His mami loved it too, laughing and blushing and calling him 'more fresh than an ear of corn'. They loved each other, and Félix knew he wanted that kind of love in his future marriage.

Félix however, decided to step in as soon as he heard the sentence 'and wait till you see what I'm gonna do to that sweet ass', deciding that was waaay too vivid of an image. His father stopped as soon as Félix walked in, handing his purse to his mami. She was still flushed, wooed to death by her passionate husband.

"Oh Ramone, you dog~...now, Félix honey, before your papi makes me forget. Mateo needs to be in bed by nine, and we won't be back till tomorrow afternoon, so you gotta make breakfast for everyone when the house gets busy again, got it?"

"Si mami, of course."

They turned to leave, when Ramone muttered something, making his wife snap her fingers.

"Oh thank you, honey. One more rule, I don't want you inviting anyone over, got it? I don't want you distracted with any little lady. Or boy."

"Mami for the last time, NOTHING is going on with Agustín, I TOLD you what happened!"

"Honey, you were wet and naked on top of him. It sounds weird. But my point stands, it's gonna be you, Mateo, and maybe Julio if he comes back early. But NO ONE else. Get it?"

"Got it."

"Good. Now come on you, you promised me some dancin' tonight! Mama gotta MOVE!"

Félix waited till the door was shut. Then he looked through the window, and watched as they soon left. As soon as they left, the doorbell rang. Just in time. He stuck a rose in between his teeth, and answered the door. Pepa. She was fashionably late, just like he planned.

"Hola, Pepita~"

She giggled at him, and boy was it cute. Hell, she looked super cute tonight, pretty ponytail and all. She dressed for him, he could tell based on those thigh high socks she knew he loved.

"A rose? Really? A little cliché, isn't it?"

"Did it make you laugh?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Then that's all that matters~"

She rolled her eyes at him, helping herself in and plucking the rose from his lips, letting herself get a sniff. Oh he should've hired a painter. Pepa standing there, rose covering a small part of her face as her eyes shimmered for him, and him alone.

"I hated how that worked."

"Me too, think I kinda cut my lip a little, actually."

She gently held his face, lightly scowling in concern.

"Ay, pobrecito. Here, let me kiss it better~"

And kiss it better she did. She practically yanked him towards her, and they kissed. Once, twice, three, four, he kinda lost count after a while. Hard to count when she was wearing new lipstick, that demanded too much of his attention. She pulled away for a moment, and he just now realized she wrapped her arms around him, frame nice and snug against his. No wonder he felt all warm and shit. He grinned as he gently nipped at her lip.

"You sure YOU aren't the one with healing powers? Because damn do I feel better."

"You haven't seen anything yet, Hombrecito. When I get up there, I'm going to make you fucking pound me till you break that bed board, and-"

"You aren't supposed to have people over."

Pepa jumped at the sudden voice, a jolt of thunder over her head spooking him as well. Mateo was standing there, sitting at the stairs. He clung to his stuffed toy, and he looked as grumpy as he ever did. Pepa straightened herself out, offering a slight smile. She was GREAT with kids.

"Mateo! How are you mijo? Aren't you supposed to be going mimis?"

"You ain't my mom, get bent."

Most kids. Pepa was good with most kids. Félix carefully grabbed her shoulders to try to calm her, not wanting his little brother to get zapped.

"Pepi, easy. Look, imma talk to him, get him in bed, wait for me in my room."

He had his shirt grapped by her, bringing him down so she could have her lips against his ear.

"I'm going to touch myself in your bed. When you get up there, my pussy is gonna be fucking wet and ready for you. Do NOT keep me waiting, understand, hombre?"

She was bossy as hell. He liked it. He gulped, before nodding.

"Si, I understand. Now go be a good girl for me~"

He gently swatted her butt as she made it upstairs. Félix knelt down to look at Mateo. Thankfully, Mateo at least liked yours truly, and even considered him his best big brother.

"Mateo, you can't tell mami, okay?"

"If you're not supposed to be doing it, why you doin' it?"

Félix shouldn't be teaching him this lesson, but he had PEPA PUSSY waiting on him, this was an emergency. He lightly patted his curls.

"It's one of things that doesn't hurt anyone if they don't know. It'll only hurt mami I'm caught, got it? But it benefits you! Because if you say nothing, I'll get you a new toy tomorrow, deal?"

Mateo thought about it, before nodding.

"I want a cat stuffy."

"I'll get you a cat stuffy. Now, off to bed, alright? Me and Pepa are going to uh, be wrestling for a while. So any sounds you hear, ignore it."

"Okay."

Félix got him into his room, tucked him in (after checking for monsters under his bed), before leaving, and heading to his own room. And holy shit, was he a lucky man. Pepa was laying against his pillows, panties and bra to the floor, tits out, legs open with fingers in her pussy, and a condom between her teeth. He shut the door quickly, on the off chance anyone would see this.

"Condom between the teeth? A bit cliché, don't you think?"

"Did it make you smile?"

"EVERYTHING about you makes me smile. So, yes."

"Then worth it. Now get over here and use it~"

"I've never been able to tell a woman no~"

---------------------

She hummed as she finished folding her baby's clothes. Félix was such a good boy, watching his little brother as she went out with his father. He even handled breakfast for his siblings, and even took out the trash. Ugh, he made her so proud. He was even downstairs right now, playing his tiple with his big brother. She opened his dresser, and started to put in his clothes, when she pulled something out. His condoms. Boy kept it really close to the bed, she found it funny.

"Oh that boy. Just like ME back in the day."

She was active back then, she knew what was safe and what wasn't. She was about to put it back where she found it, only to glance over it for a second longer. She remembered buying these for him (she liked to keep track of his supply, just so she knew when and if he was doing the no pants dance), and he whined that three wasn't enough. She bought it yesterday. Only...there was one left. Surely he just had the other two on his person, and this was just the survivor. Though, she recalled that he was eager to toss the trash this morning.

He couldn't have. Right? She scowled, and walked out of the room, going right to Mateo's. He preferred to be alone most of the day, minus the company with his stuffed animals. She knocked on the door, getting his attention.

"Hey mama."

"Hey hey, honeypot. How you doin'?"

"I'm good, we're all playing simon says. I'm winning."

"That's my boy. Hey, I had a question for you. You remember how me and your papi went out yesterday?"

Mateo nodded, grip on his new stuffed toy showing her that he was a bit uncomfortable.

"Uh huh."

"And you had Félix watch you. Did he have someone over?"

"Uhm..."

"You can tell me, baby."

Mateo settled for a nod.

"It was Pepa. I think it's because he took something from her."

"Took something?"

"Uh huh. Because she kept yelling 'give it to me', and there was lots of banging. I dunno how I went to bed."

Oh he was dead. That boy was dead. She steeled her temper, just for a second, patting her son's head.

"Okay, thank you baby. Imma go see exactly what Félix took from Pepa. You need anything?"

"No thank you."

She left, shutting the door, and after making sure the door was closed, marched right to the living room. He was with his brother, softly playing for one another. She hated to interrupt such a sweet moment, but she wasn't gonna let his cute face make him get out of punishment. Even if he smiled when he looked up at her.

"Mami! You wanna hear us play? We can play you something to dance to!"

Julio nodded in agreement. HE was never as much trouble as his siblings, her (no longer so little) Julio.

"I would love to play you something, mami. Félix has been improving too."

"Thank you, Julio. But unfortunately, Félix is needed upstairs."

"One second mami-"

"Now, young man, I did NOT get the lord's patience today."

Félix knew he was in the weeds, she could see it on his face. Julio looked confused for a moment, before leaning into his brother a bit.

"I THINK the emotion we're seeing is 'angry'"

"Great job Julio, applause all around."

"Thank you."

Julio never got sarcasm. The second Félix stood up, she grabbed his ear, practically yanking his ass up the stairs. She let him go only when they made it to his room, and she gestured to the packet of condoms. Oh he was a smart boy, immediately knowing he fucked up. She put her hands on her hips, gesturing to it.

"Get to talkin' young man."

"I uh. Well I mean, you know I go through these fast! I uhm. You know, life happens and-"

"Imma let you try again. This time, don't stand there and lie RIGHT to your mama's face."

He winced, shrinking under her glare. He was trying to think of something, but Félix was a terrible liar, even though his ass kept trying.

"Okay mami you can't blame me! It was PEPA!"

"Boy, I don't care if it was mother mary in your bedroom, I told you NO COMPANY. Your job was to watch your brother!"

"I put him to bed! I didn't think it was a big deal!"

She huffed at him, gesturing to Mateo's room.

"He heard you! He said 'I think he took something from her, because she kept yelling give it to me'. That boy was NOT asleep!"

Félix snickered, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"I TRIED to keep her quiet, really I did...~"

"Oh you think this shit is funny-RAMONE! Get up here and save your son from me, right now!"

"God dammit- Félix, you know she only calls you mine when you fuck up! What'd you do!?"

"Ramone, I said come up here, not yell from the damn kitchen!"

Ramone grumbled as he came in, clearly not happy to be here.

"Okay, I'm here, what'd he do?"

"He had company over when I told his ass not to! And now, Imma beat the black off of his sorry ass-"

Ramone gently patted her shoulder. He was always the quieter, 'let it go' sort of person.

"Bon bon, you go downstairs, have some coffee. I got this."

She huffed, but did as he said. Surely he'd discipline their child properly.

------------------------

Kids were like people. Only, more fucking stupid. And honestly, that was most of his kids, including the shit head in front of him. He leaned against his dresser, and pointed at him with his lips.

"Talk to me. What's got your mami all upset?"

He fumbled for a minute, before wincing and just coming out with it.

"We uh. I had a girl over when you guys said not to, and mami found out. That part is true."

"Okay, you had a girl over. Take it the condoms were the tip off."

"Yeah we uh, had sex. Me and Pepa. Twice. How uh, how in trouble am I?"

Ramone couldn't help but snort, much to the surprise of his son.

"In TROUBLE? I'd give your ass a medal. Look at my boy, una dama asesina! Swept her off her feet, did ya?"

Félix didn't want to admit it, clearly, but the smirk on his face was huge.

"I mean, took a lot of convincing, getting her to leave."

Ramone tried not to laugh, knowing his wife had the ears of a bat. He gave his son a little noogie, chest swelling up in pride.

"Ha, I taught your ass well. No, I'm not punishing you for that, that's ridiculous. Look, imma pretend you got the belt, just fake cry. Then imma take you to town to 'punish you further', and get us some drinks, just me and you."

"Seriously?!"

"Yes seriously! Woman crazy if she think imma punish my son over this. Just REALLY fake it, alright?"

Félix nodded, clearly excited at the idea of going out to drink with his old man. Sometimes parenting wasn't that bad.

Even if your kid was a fucking idiot.

[libraryofloveletters]

The Boy Next Door

Eddie Diaz x Reader 

Warnings: mentions of divorce, step-parents, a little bit of arguing, alcohol and consumption of, like one swear word, mentions of sickness

Category: fluff 

Word Count: 2.3K

Author’s Note: ahhh okay hi! this is my first 911 fic, idk it’s mostly self indulgent because I can’t get this idea out of my head, so here we are :) also for the purpose of this, Eddie never got married nor did he have Christopher 

Italics are flashbacks 

----

To say you were average was the understatement of your life, you weren't special nor were you awkward or shy, you were just average. You had always been the average person, in an average neighbourhood with an average life. 

But the boy next door, there was nothing average about him. 

The first time you met the boy next door was when you were 14, you had just moved into the neighbourhood with your father and his new wife. There was still lots to be done, the air conditioning was broken and your father seemed to misplace his toolkit during the move. He left you in the smouldering heat and ventured off to find a toolkit. Not only did he return with a toolkit but visitors as well.

“y/n!” your father shouted from the bottom on the staircase, “what?!” you shouted back. “Come down here!” you groaned as he called for you again, what could he possibly want now? 

Your father stood there with a man and a boy who you could only assume was his son. “Y/n, this is Ramon and his son, Eddie. They live next door and Ramon was kind enough to loan his tools and help me out.” you smiled at them from the top of the stairs. 

“Come down and get Eddie something to drink” your father said, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes and made your way down the stairs. 

“Would you like some lemonade ?” you asked, walking past him to the kitchen, he followed you. “Please” he leaned against the wall watching you move around the kitchen. 

“So, I hear you have a step mom?” he asks, you could feel his eyes burning into your back as you got the lemonade from the fridge. “Unfortunately” you mumble and pour some of the liquid into a glass, Eddie made his way over to the counter, he leaned up against it. 

“Do you know how to stand straight ?” you glance at him up and down, he laughs and shakes his head. 

“Why is it unfortunate that you have a stepmother ?” taking a sip of the lemonade, his eyes fixed on you. “Have you ever seen Cinderella ?” you asked, hopping up on the counter and picking up the other glass, Eddie nods. 

“Imagine living with Cinderella’s stepmother but times 100″ you groan, Eddie had a smile on his face. 

“You’re joking”

“Wish I was” 

“Well that sucks” he gave you an apologetic look

“Big time” your eyes are on your legs which were swinging back and forth. Eddie grabs your leg suddenly, “what the hell!” you jump, he laughs again. 

God he has such a cute laugh, wait what ? Stop he’s your neighbour, you barely know him.

“How’d you get that?” his thumb rubs over a scar on your leg by your ankle. “Bike accident when I was younger. It just didn’t heal right and left a scar, also because there was a giant gash there for a few weeks” you shrug. The two of you were in the kitchen for a few minutes, Eddie’s hand was still wrapped around your leg, neither of you saying a word to each other. 

“Eddie! Time to go!” Ramon shouted for Eddie, he let go of your leg. “See you around ?” he asked, you nodded, “yeah, see ya” Eddie smiled at you and you smiled back. 

You rarely saw Eddie after that day, he had been helping his father at his shop all summer so you never got a chance to hang out. When school started, you had a few classes with him, he occasionally asked for the answers to the homework after his practices ran long, which you gave to him. 

Somewhere deep down, you had a soft spot for the boy next door. 

Your friendship, if you could even call it that, was built solely on the fact that he lives next door and went to the same classes, if it weren't for that, you’d never speak to him. He wasn't a popular kid per se but he had a solid friend group and played sports, so in his own way, he was a popular kid. You were the kid that had your head down, did what you were told to do and left. 

High school flew by and you were glad. The whole “your high school years are the best years of your life” was bullshit, if anything, you ended up coming out more confused than you went in. 

The second time you spent time with Eddie was at your graduation party. The graduating class had arranged a grad party for yourselves in the neighbourhood. It consisted of loud drunk teenagers and their tipsy parents. By midnight, the street began clearing out, you hung back simply because you didn’t want to go home and deal with your stepmother and your father. 

Sitting on the curb at the end of the street, you could see the entire street. There  were still a few kids, a group of boys playing football terribly, a couple making out in the corner and some girls posing for pictures by some car. 

Eddie’s shouting broke your thoughts, “Papi I'm going!” It sounded like something had shattered, perhaps a bottle. You got up and slowly made your way over. “You want to throw away your life? Stay here, get a job Eddie, I won’t allow you to do this!” his father shouted back at him. Eddie began walking away from his father, Ramon grabbed his hand. “Do not walk away from me!” he shouted again. 

“You made up your mind and so did I. I'm going.” Eddie said sternly and walked away. He walked past you on his way to wherever he was going. He didn’t stop, he didn't talk, he just pushed past you and left. 

Eddie left home a few weeks later. You kept up with his parents, stopping by for dinner every once in a while. His father didn’t talk much about him, just that he was good and that’s all. Once his father left, his mother told you about what actually was going on, how Eddie felt as if he had found a purpose there. She shows you letters that he had sent and a picture he had sent her in his uniform.

“Doesn't he look handsome ?” she smiled, showing you the picture of Eddie. “Yeah, very handsome, Mrs. Diaz” you smiled back. 

“Do you know when he’s coming back?” 

The smile dropped from her face. “He- uh, reenlisted” she mumbled. “Ramon doesn't know” 

You nodded, “I won’t tell” 

“Who’s not telling what?” his father came back in for a moment, you smiled at him while Mrs. Diaz turned her attention to the sink. “Oh just that Mrs. Diaz is helping me with dinner for my grandparents tomorrow” you pick up the bowls on the counter, “Thank you for dinner, I'll see you guys around ?” 

“of course, thank you for coming over. it’s nice to have you around” his mother gave you a hug. 

You spent a lot of afternoons with his mom, just helping her out around the house. It wasn't until 4 years after that night that you saw him again. A few bruises and bumps, a couple scars and broken bones you were sure of, but he was back in one piece. In true Diaz fashion, his parents insisted on throwing a party for him. It was supposed to be a small party, just a few neighbours and family. By the time Mrs. Diaz was done inviting people, there was triple the amount of people coming. 

You headed over with your father, he had gotten sick recently and required a bit more help now. Truthfully by 25, you had planned to be living on your own but with your father getting sick and your step mother bailing, you stuck around. Once you got him situated, you found Mrs. Diaz in the kitchen. 

“Hey” you smiled at her, taking the bowl from her hands. “Hi mi amor, how are you ?” She smiled at you, you rested the bowl on the table across from the two of you, “I’m okay for now.” 

Eddie’s laughter filled your ears, that was a sound you didn't hear often but one you loved nonetheless “It’s good to have him home” his mother smiled, watching her son from the window. Mrs. Diaz gets pulled off by someone leaving you alone in the kitchen, turning to the fridge, you look through for a beer. “hey, pass me one too” his voice called as he watched through the backdoor. You pulled two out and handed on to him. 

“Thanks” Eddie leaned against the counter, you couldn't help but chuckle. “What?” taking a sip of the beer, his eyes meet yours. “Nothing, just noticing your habit of leaning on things” you stood across from him. 

“Sorry, but do I know you from somewhere ? You seem so familiar” his brows furrowed, tongue running across his lip. “I’m y/n, we’re neighbours” you told him, his eyes flickered up and down you, your name leaving his lips. 

God, your name never sounded so good. 

“Y/n...” his eyes ran over your body once more, his eyes locking on your foot. “Ankle Scar” he smiled, you nodded as your lips curled into a smile. “God, I'm so sorry I didn’t rememb-” “don’t worry ‘bout it, I'm not really anyone worth remembering” 

Eddie’s smile dropped, a pout visibly on his face. “Don’t say that, I'm sure you are.” 

“Is that why you didn't remember me ?” you teased

“We went to high school together” he took another sip, you nodded in agreement. “We’ve also lived next door to each other since we were 14”  you smiled at him. Again, the smile vanished from his face, “okay, now I really feel like shit. God, I'm sorry” “It’s cool really” you gave a smile once more. 

“Don’t you have a party to get back too ?” 

“Eh, not to fussy about parties to tell you the truth. I might take a walk around the block, care to join me ?” 

“Actually, yeah, I’d like that” 

Eddie opened the front door for you, letting you step out first. The two of you headed through the front to avoid everyone in the back, you walked down the street together, the dull streetlights lit the sidewalks, beer in your hand. 

“What have you been up to?” Eddie asked you, “Well, I'm a nurse but only part time. My dad needs me around.. now that he’s sick” 

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, your dad’s a cool guy” 

Scoffing, you take a sip of your beer, “yeah, you’re the only one that’s ever thought that” your statement making Eddie chuckled. “If you don't mind me asking, what happened to the wicked step mother of the west?”  he looked over at you as he walked along the curb of the sidewalk, his arms out to balance himself. 

“She bailed when he found out he was sick.” 

Eddie stopped walking, “seriously ? that’s a bitch move” “yeah, tell me about it” 

Taking a seat on the curb, Eddie sat down too. The street was quiet for the most part, the only noise coming from down the street at Diaz’s place. Your fingers tapped against the beer bottle in your hand, aimlessly trying to keep up with the beat of the music. Eddie’s hand on your ankle startled you, causing you to drop the bottle. “Seriously ?! Again?” you shout, Eddie put his finger over your lips. “Shh! you’ll wake up the neighbours” he muttered, you rolled your eyes at his statement. “Tell me nurse y/n, how does one not ‘heal right’” he laughed, his thumb rubbing against the scar and causing you to roll your eyes again. “surely you can tell me that, Sergeant Diaz” 

Eddie looked shocked, “how did-” “your mom, she never stopped talking about her son, the army sergeant medic” you teased, he shook his head, laughing. “I know you’ve only been back for a few weeks, but what’s next ? Are you going to stay ?” 

“If I have a reason too, I will but I- I don't know what’s next” Eddie sighed. 

“Perhaps a change in scenery ?” you asked, he looked over at you with a questionable expression on his face. “I'm moving, to California in a few months” you told him. 

“Oh? What for?” 

“A change in scenery” you laughed and he smiled at you. 

“I haven't thought about moving, maybe it would be nice. A break away from here, not that I don't love it here, I love my parents too but-” he stopped talking, he realized the more he went on, the deeper a hole he dug. 

“You know, I hear the LAFD is always looking for recruits. I’m sure they wouldn't mind having an army medic on the team” you glance over at him, there’s a pause in the conversation. 

Eddie looks over at you, “that’s not a bad idea” his arm wraps around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, your arm his rested on top of his knee, 

“What do you say to a road trip and a roommate ?” he looks down at you. 

You look up at him, “I think I'd like that”  

---

tagging: @ssa-volturi​ @geeky-son-dr-reid

[outrunningthedark]

Do you think eddies parents are ableist? I’ve seen it a lot in fics or alluded to in fics but honestly I don’t remember a ton about their interactions since they’ve only had a few minutes of screen time in the past 4 seasons.

Speaking for myself and myself only, I think there hasn't been enough evidence to support the idea that Helena and Ramon are ableist towards their grandson. They've appeared in just two episodes since Eddie joined the 118, Eddie Begins and This Life We Choose. Because the focus of Eddie Begins was on illustrating how far Eddie had come as a father (running from his responsibilities to promising never to leave Christopher behind again), we did not get a clear picture as to how Helena and Ramon reacted to Christopher's CP. The season prior we learned that Christopher got stuck in the birth canal and there were "complications", but when you watch the flashback from the day he was born, nothing out of the ordinary happens. We witnessed the final (seemingly normal) seconds before Christopher came into the world. Mom and Dad are thrilled. Helena and Ramon are there sometime after the fact cooing over their grandbaby. The next time we encounter them is in El Paso after Eddie returned from Afghanistan. As Eddie brings four-year-old Christopher something to eat and a drink with ice in a plastic cup, Helena says, "Honey, he can't drink this. He needs a straw and no ice. Where are the juice boxes we brought?" Maybe some people found this scene uncomfortable? Christopher "can't" drink from a regular cup and he definitely can't have ice? Three things: - Let's assume Christopher, at four years of age, has not quite yet mastered the ability to hold a cup without spilling its contents. Drinking from a straw allows him to maintain independence rather than look to someone else for help with bringing the cup to his mouth. - Even IF one of the Diazes wanted to help Christopher with his drink, they cannot stop him from possibly choking on the ice. - People with CP are vulnerable to dysphagia (difficulty swallowing) because our spasticity can affect the esophagus by causing uncontrollable contractions that lead to choking. Straws help limit the amount of liquids we take in and allow us to take our time with swallowing to the best our ability. (For the record, I still deal with dysphagia in my early 30s. I take a swig from a water bottle and can immediately feel my muscles reject it. 0/10 do not recommend.) The last appearance by Helena and Ramon is two years later, before Eddie and Christopher relocate to LA. The conversation they have with their son makes no reference to Christopher’s disability or the care he requires because of it. They were concerned about retaining control - “You can’t just take him away from the only stable thing he’s got left. He belongs with us.”  This Life We Choose was another attempt by Eddie’s parents to bring Christopher back home with them to El Paso. Christopher is briefly shown sitting at the kids table, away from his grandparents, his dad, Isabel, and Josephina. This was a good sign, tbh. It showed that everyone in the family is on the same page regarding how much independence and space Christopher should be allowed to have.  The episode concludes with a montage of the celebration following Eddie’s firefighter ceremony. Ramon kisses Christopher on the hand (which made me wonder how much affection Ramon showed Eddie when he was a child), and later Helena is shown talking with him. Not the kind of stuff that would make anyone think they were awful grandparents, you know?  TL;DR If it’s for the sake of a story, people are allowed to write Helena and Ramon however they please. When we’re discussing canon, though? Their issues begin and end with Eddie. 

[lionheartedmusings]

THIS, ALL OF THIS. PERFECTLY PUT INTO WORDS. all q! but my ass is too lazy to go back and add them so there we go.

if you look at all the eggs, they've all grown to have a degree of not only understanding of the world and other people, but also some independence in where they go and with whom.

empanada wakes up to hang out with sunny and tubbo and ramon, richas wakes up to hang out with pomme and bad and dapper, pepito wakes up to hang out with everyone, ramon wakes up to hang out with his sisters and tubbo... i could go on. for most of the eggs, they have their parents but they also have a whole village — it's how pomme found bad as a dad, because he allowed her to be with him at night. how richas handles his parents' constant kidnappings and absences, how pepito has been kept alive! you could argue leo is a bit isolated, but a) she's gotten better at it, and b) even in her anxiety and shyness, leo has always had a village.

philza doesn't allow his kids to have a village, like... at all and it's deeply detrimental to their mental health and development — tallulah more outwardly, and chayanne i think more deeply.

tallulah's worst flaws have been amplified and reinforced by phil's isolation of her, and she's at a complete loss when it comes to emotional intelligence, regulation, and i'm like 99% sure that most of her issues could've been solved much sooner if she'd been allowed to be around other people with different perspectives who help her understand other people instead of perpetuating the idea that she's alone in the world except for her dad and chayanne.

chayanne has so many fucking complexes, i don't know how that poor kid gets up in the morning — to sit there and watch phil basically emotionally manipulate a child who just needed a break with "they need you... but it's okay if you don't want to" was jarring and like... it genuinely upset me.

ultimately, the saddest part of it all is that philza is kind of turning those kids into himself — unsympathetic and unable to bring themselves to care unless something affects them directly. tallulah gives a shit, and philza's surprised. how's that for an example?

there's no perfect parents on the qsmp and everyone tries their best, but my god it boils my blood how often philza is lifted up as this example for all parents when he's turning those kids into soldier-like stereotypes with no sense of empathy who have no regulation of their own emotions and don't know how to interact with people.

tl;dr - free chayanne and tallulah 2k24

I feel like Chayanne and Tallulah’s emotional and social wellbeing were sacrificed in-exchange for total physical safety. They are incredibly isolated from the other eggs, (both show signs lacking social development, while Tallulah’s is more obvious it is definitely an issue for both) and have no one to really rely on outside of Phil. Both have really intense feelings of neglect, Tallulah’s of being abandoned completely out her control and just swept up by the next person willing to take care of her, and Chayanne’s of feelings like in a way he’s at fault for Missa not showing up that he isn’t good enough for him. They have very different emotions towards their neglect and just can’t rely on the other for emotional support, and Phil isn’t emotional aware enough to give that to them.

The only similar feelings towards neglect literally puts them at odds with each other, believing Phil prefers or pays more attention to the other, and once again they can not go to each other for this. There was so much anxiety over them (and especially Tallulah) getting hurt once they properly stuck with Phil they just stopped leaving that circle. Phil doesn’t want them to either, it’s understandable due to previous experience with egg death but is still a flaw and overall harmful to Chay and Tallulah’s social wellbeing.

Chayanne and Tallulah need people that understand them, and are able to comfort them on a more direct level. They honestly just need more people in their circle, more eggs, and people they can wake up for to spend time with. They’ve been on a downward spiral for months, and the isolation they’ve been experiencing has only gotten worse. Barely anyone even really knows what Tallulah’s like just thinking she’s a sweet princess, and there’s no one telling Chayanne that he doesn’t need to give everything for his siblings. They need more people at their door.

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

St Vincent: “Pour a Drink, Smoke a Joint... That’s the Vibe”

Ding dong! Daddy's Home

By Johnny Davis

19/03/2021

Annie Clark, known professionally as St Vincent, picked up a guitar aged 12 after being inspired by Jimi Hendrix. During her teens she worked as a roadie and later tour manager for her aunt and uncle, the jazz duo Tuck & Patti. Originally from Oklahoma, she moved to Dallas, Texas when she was seven and later attended the Berklee College of Music in Boston, Massachusetts for three years, before dropping out.

Clark worked as a touring musician with the Polyphonic Spree and Sufjan Stevens, before releasing Marry Me, her first album as St Vincent, in 2007. By her fifth album, 2017’s Masseduction, she had become one of the most celebrated artists in music, the first solo female artist to win a Grammy Award for Best Alternative Album in 20 years.

She became unlikely Daily Mail-fodder around the same time, thanks to an 18-month relationship with Cara Delevingne, and later Kristen Stewart. Her ever-changing music, dressing up-box image and head-spinning well of ideas have seen her compared to David Bowie, Kate Bush and Prince. To complete the notion of her being the "artist's artist", in 2012 she collaborated with David Byrne on the album Love This Giant.

Indeed, she is surely one of few performers today who could stand in for Kurt Cobain with what’s-left-of-Nirvana, performing “Lithium” at their induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2014, as well as cover “Controversy” at a Prince tribute concert in 2020, with such guitar-playing fireworks its author would surely have approved.

Following the glam-influenced pop of Masseduction, St Vincent has performed another stylistic handbrake turn. Complete with a new image – part-Warhol Superstar, part-Cassavetes heroine – she has mined the textures of the music she loved most as a kid: the virtuoso rock of Steely Dan, the clipped funk of Stevie Wonder and blue-eyed soul of mid-Seventies' David Bowie, on her upcoming album, Daddy’s Home.

The title refers to Clark's own father, locked up in Texas for 12 years in 2010, for money laundering in a stock manipulation scheme, one in which he and his co-conspirators cheated 17,000 investors out of £35m. It is also, in typical Clark style, a bit of saucy slang.

Back on the promotional trail, Clark Zoomed in from Los Angeles one morning recently – fully caffeinated and raring to go. “My vices?” she pondered. “Too much coffee, man…”

What question are you already bored of being asked?

There’s not one that’s popping out. There’s no question where I’m like “Oh God, if I ever hear that again, I’ll jump off a building.” I’m chill.

I mention it because prior to releasing your last record you put out a pre-recorded “press conference”, seemingly to pre-empt every inane question the media would throw at you.

It’s so funny. It didn’t really occur like that. Originally that was supposed to be a legit green screen conference. Like, “I’ll just answer these questions ‘cos when they need to have me on ‘The Morning Show’ in Belarus they can have this and put their own graphics behind it”. But then when my friend Carrie Brownstein [collaborator and Sleater-Kinney vocalist-guitarist] and I started writing it and it became very snarky. For some reason it didn’t occur to me that “Oh, that might be off-putting or intimidating to journalists” I just thought "This is silly”. So anyway… I understand.

We're curious about your dad and the American legal system.

I have had a lot of questions about that. For some reason it didn’t occur to me how much I would be answering questions about… my hilarious father!

How do you view his time in prison?

Just that life is long and people are complicated. And that, luckily, there’s a chance for redemption or reconciliation, even after a really crazy traumatic time. And also anybody that has any experience with the American justice system will know this... nobody comes out unscathed.

You recently presented an online MasterClass: "St. Vincent Teaches Creativity & Songwriting". One of the takeaways: “All you need are ears and ideas, and you can make anything happen”. Who’s had the best ideas in music?

Well, you’ve got to give credit to people who were genuinely creating a new style – like if you think of Charlie Parker, arguably he created a new style. This hard bop that was just absolutely impossible to play. It was, like, “Check me out – try to copy me!” So, that’s interesting. I think Brian Eno, for sure, has some great ideas about music – and obviously has made some of the best music. Joni Mitchell – completely singular. I mean: think about that. There are some people who are actually inimitable – like, you couldn’t possibly even try to imitate them.

It’s a brave soul who covers a Joni Mitchell song. Although, apologies if you actually have.

No, I have not. And there’s a reason why not. Come on – Bowie. Bowie never repeated himself. David Byrne also didn’t repeat himself. He took all of his influences of classic songs and the disco that was happening at the time, and the potpourri of downtown New York music from the mid- to late Seventies… and synthesised it into this completely new, other thing. I mean, that’s impressive. Those are the ones we remember.

How hard is it not to repeat yourself?

It’s whether people have the Narcissus thing or not. Like, it’s always got to be a balance where you’re, like, “Well, I need to believe in myself to make something and be liberated. But I can’t look at that pond of my previous work and go ‘Oh you! You’re gorgeous!’” So I don’t go back and listen to things I’ve done. I finished Daddy’s Home in the fall and it was, like, “This is done” and it felt great. I loved the record and it was so fun to make. But what I did immediately afterwards was to write something completely different. But then I don’t know, ‘cos there are people who do the thing that they do just great. And you just want to hear more songs, in the style of the thing that they do great.

Right. No one wants an experimental Ramones album.

Exactly. Or, like, or a Tom Petty record. I don’t want a tone poem from Tom Petty! I want a perfectly constructed, perfectly written completely singalongable three-chord song.

The new album has a very “live” Seventies feel. I’d read that some of the tracks are first takes. Can that be right? It all sounds very complicated.

That’s not right. I should say [rock voice] "Yeah, that’s right, we just jammed…" But, you know, I’ll be honest. There are some vocal takes in there that are first takes. But it really is just the sound of people playing. We get good drum takes. And good bass takes. And I play a bunch of guitar and sitar-guitar. And it’s the sound of a moment in time, certainly. And way more about looseness and groove and feel and vibe than anything else [I’ve done before].

Amazing live albums, virtuoso playing, jamming – those were staples of Seventies music. Have we lost some of that?

I mean, I can wax poetic on that idea for a minute. In the Seventies you had this tremendous sophistication in popular music. Stevie Wonder, Steely Dan and funk and soul and jazz and rock…. and all of the things rolled into one. That was tremendously sophisticated. It just was. There was harmony, there were chord progressions.

What else from that decade appealed to you for Daddy’s Home?

It reminds me of where we are now, I think. So, 1971-1976 in downtown New York, you’ve got the Summer of Love thing and flower children and all the hippy stuff and it’s, like, “Oh yeah, that didn’t work out that well. We’re still in Vietnam. There’s a crazy economic crisis, all kinds of social unrest”. People stood in the proverbial burned-out building. And it reminds me a lot of where we are today, in terms of social unrest, economic uncertainty. A groundswell wanting change... but where that’s headed is yet to be seen. We haven’t fully figured that out. We’re all picking up pieces of the rubble and going “Okay, what do we do with this one? Where do we go with that one?” Being a student of history, that was one of the reasons why I was drawn to that period in history.

Also: that’s the music I’ve listened to more than anything in my entire life. I mean, I was probably the youngest Steely Dan fan. It didn’t make me that popular at sleepovers. People were, like, “I want to listen to C+C Music Factory” and I was, like, “Yeah, but have you heard this solo on [Steely Dan’s] ‘Kid Charlemagne’”? That music is so in me. It’s so in my ears and I feel like I never really went there [making music before]. And I didn’t want to be a tourist about it. It’s just that particular style had a whole lot to teach me. So I wanted to just dig in and find out. Just play with it.

Is there a style of music you don’t like?

That I don’t like?

You're a jazz fan...

I love jazz. Are you kidding me? I was that annoying 14-year-old who was, like, “Yeah, but have you listened to Oliver Nelson’s The Blues and the Abstract Truth?”

I love jazz. Are you kidding me? I was that annoying 14-year-old who was, like, “Yeah, but have you listened to Oliver Nelson’s The Blues and the Abstract Truth?”

That does sound quite precocious for a 14-year-old.

It’s annoying. Just insufferable. [Thinking aloud] What music don’t I like….? Here’s what can happen. And I feel like it’s similar to when an actor has some lines in a script and they’re not very good – not very well-written – so they overcompensate by making it very dramatic and really overplaying it. I would say that is a style of music that I don’t really like. Where somebody has to really oversell it and it all feels… athletic. Instead of musical or touching.

Did you put your lockdown time to constructive use?

If you need any mediocre home renovations done, I’m your girl. It was fun. I did – let’s see now – plumbing, electrical, painting. Luckily there’s YouTube, so you can more or less figure it all out. I did a lot of that stuff and I have to say it was such a nice contrast to working on music all day. Because when you’re working on music you have to create the construct of everything. You’re, like, “I need to make this song. But what is this song?” Everything is this kind of elusive castle in the sky thing. But then, if you go and sand a deck, you’ve done something. It feels really good. And it’s not, like, “What is a deck? And who am I?” You’re just, like, “This is a task and I get to do it and I can see how the mechanism works I understand it it’s not esoteric – it’s simply mechanical". I can do something mechanical. I loved it.

Which bit of DIY are you most pleased with?

Painting the kitchen cabinets. That’s a real job. We’re talking sanding. We’re talking taking things off hinges. We’re talking multiple coats. The whole lacquer-y thing at the end. That. I’m, like, “That looks pretty pro”.

What colour did you go for?

Oh, you know, it’s just a sort of… teal. But classy teal.

Of course.

Yeah. The wallpapering wasn’t as successful. But, you know, that’s fine. So that was really fun. And then I also went down a history rabbit hole. I realised I had some gaps in my knowledge about the Russian Revolution and life under the Iron Curtain and the gulags and Stalin and Lenin. So, I went down that hole. And then I was like “Oh I forgot – I haven’t read any Dostoevsky”. So I have been working on his short stories – which are great. And then Solzhenitsyn I really liked – I mean liked is a strange word to use for The Gulag Archipelago. I read Cancer Ward… All of them. I recommend all of it. And then, before that, it was a big Stasi kick. I can’t remember the last time I had time to brush up on the Russian Revolution.

There’s a lyric on “The Laughing Man”, “If life’s a joke… then I’m dying laughing”. It’s also on your new merchandise. What do you think happens when we die?

Nothing.

This is it?

Yeah. I mean, I understand that it would be comforting to think otherwise. That there might be a special place. It would be nice! The thought’s never really been able to stick for me. I would say that we are made of carbon and then we get subsumed back into the Earth and then eventually we become life again – in the carbon part of our makeup.

Well, that sounds better than an endless void.

I don’t think it would be an endless void.

In what ways are you like your mum and dad?

Let’s see. Well, my mother is a precious angel who has unwavering optimism. She is incredibly intelligent and also very nonjudgmental and able and happy to explore all kinds of possibilities. Saying that, though… it’s sounding not like me at all. I’m like my father in that I think we have very similar tastes in books, films, music and a very similar sense of humour. My mother’s so kind that it’s hard for me to… Her level of kindness and decency is aspirational to me.

How famous are you, on a scale of one to 10?

God, I mean, like, “TikTok Famous” probably a one, right? I’m gonna say – I don’t know about the number system – but I’m going to say I-occasionally-get-a-free-appetiser-sent-over famous. Which is a great place to be.

What do you look for in a date?

It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date. You know, I once read something, it might have been something cheesy on a card, but [it was]: if you don’t like someone, then the way they hold their fork will bother you. But, if you like someone – or love someone – they could spill an entire plate of spaghetti on your lap and you wouldn’t mind.

You play a zillion instruments. What’s the hardest instrument to play?

Well, I can’t play horns or anything like that. The French horn is supposed to be really hard. I don’t like to blag… but I’m an incredible whistler. Like, I can whistle Bach.

Is Bach a particularly tough whistle?

I think… yeah. It’s fast. And noodly.

What’s the first thing you’re going to do when we're out of lockdown?

I’m gonna get a manicure and a pedicure and a massage. Massage from a stranger. Any stranger.

What about a night on the tiles?

I will probably attend a dinner party.

That sounds quite restrained.

It sounds hella boring. Sorry.

Clubbing?

No, I don’t really go to clubs. I think in order to go to clubs you have to be a person who likes to publicly dance. And I don’t publicly dance. I mean I would feel too shy to dance at a wedding. But for some reason I will dance on stage in front of 10,000 people.

That’s why alcohol was invented.

Exactly! But I swear I would reach the point of alcohol sickness before I would be drunk enough to dance.

The effects of drugs on creativity: discuss.

Unreliable. Really unreliable. Sometimes after a day’s work in the studio you’re like, "I’m gonna have shot of tequila and then sing this a few more times, and then play". It’s okay but you peak sort-of quickly. You can’t sustain the level without getting tired. And then I would say that weed just makes me paranoid and useless. Every once in a while some combo of psychedelics can get you someplace. But, for the most part, you either come back to [the work] the next day and you’re, like, “This is garbage” or you get sleepy or hungry or distracted and you’re not really doing anything. I’ve never had opiates. Or coke or whatever. So I don’t know. I can’t speak to that. But with the slightly more G-Rated [American movie classification: All Ages Permitted] thing, it doesn’t really help.

What do you have too many of in your wardrobe?

I’m not a hoarder. I tend to have one thing that I get really obsessed with and then I wear it every day. Some people, having a whole lot of things gives them a sense of safety and security. It gives me anxiety. I can’t think if there’s too much visual noise. If there was a uniform that I could wear every day I would absolutely do that. And at certain times I have.

Like Steve Jobs?

Or, oh God, what’s her name? The Theranos lady… Elizabeth Holmes!

The blood-test-scam lady?

Well, I guess it was unclear how much of it was self-delusion and how much of it was, you know, actual fraud.

Another black turtleneck fan.

And – again, this is unconfirmed – she also adopted a very low voice like this in order to be taken seriously as a CEO.

Like Margaret Thatcher.

Did she have a low voice?

She made hers “less shrill”.

Oh yes. Yes!

What movie makes you cry?

The Lives of Others

That’s a good one.

Right. I rewatched that during my Stasi kick.

I’ll be honest, your lockdown sounds even less fun than everyone else’s.

I mean… Look, I had to educate myself. I went to a music college [Berklee College of Music] where I tried to take the philosophy class and the way that they would talk about it… it was taught by this professor who was from one of the neighbouring colleges in Boston. And it was very clear that he really disliked having to talk Kierkegaard to a bunch of music school kids. He was just so bummed by it. I’m trying to learn, “What’s the deal with Kant?” and he felt he had to explain everything only in musical terms [because he assumed it would be the only thing music students could relate to]. Like, “Well, you know, it’s like when Bob Marley…" I’m, like, “No, no, no! I don’t want that!” So I had to educate myself. This is where its led me.

Where should we ideally listen to Daddy’s Home?

Put it on a turntable. Pour yourself a glass of tequila or bourbon – whatever your favourite hooch is – and smoke a joint and listen to it. I think that’s the vibe.

Daddy’s Home is released on May 14

[doeeyeseddie]

heyyyy hope you don't mind me sliding into your asks, telling you this thought i had on the diaz family :D feel free to ignore of course

but i was thinking... we hear a lot about what ramon was like when eddie was growing up, how ramon taught him this big-strong-silent-provider bs by example, but... i want to know what helena did. because ive seen it so many times: the women in the family following along with these ideas and going "big boys don't cry" after a certain age is reached and refusing to offer the small comforts that were there before because "you're my big strong man aren't you" and yeah...

ive just been thinking about that a lot. and like, what might happen if ramon and helena on a call with christopher one day and he's telling them about something that upset and helena goes "and you didn't cry. good boy."

hi hello no i don't mind at all!! actually, i've been thinking about helena a lot too – 5x17 in general and eddie himself focused heavily on ramon ("my family isn't screwed up. just my dad, okay?") but i (and a lot of other people too) have never forgiven helena for what she said to eddie during eddie begins ("don't drag him down with you, eddie" i'm looking at you). now i don't really think the show is gonna give us much more on that because eddie didn't seem to be holding a grudge against his mom – though i'll happily let myself be proven wrong, they constantly do more than i expect – but i will definitely be exploring it in fic and i'm sure so will many others. maybe she didn't reinforce it, but i do think she must've gone along with it at the time. the situations that eddie mentions alone, she could've spoken up and taken his side, but it doesn't sound like she ever did. and then eddie begins, obviously. to me, she kind of says the worst things, actually, she doesn't trust her son to take care of his own son, clearly doesn't approve of how he lives his life and the choices he's made. i don't really know if that comes from the same place of toxic masculinity that makes her think a man can't raise a kid without his wife, but she definitely doesn't think eddie's equipped for it. and even after what happened in hero complex, i don't think eddie will ever fully forgive them for that or how they tried the same thing again after shannon died. he clearly hasn't in 4x14 when he tells buck about the will, and i don't see how that would've changed since then. anyway, i don't know where i'm going with this but i personally would loooove to know more about eddie and helena's relationship because i truly believe that it's actually at least a little bit screwed up, too.

[gayenerd]

I just realized I didn’t post that 2007 Rolling Stone article I posted about here. 

Billie Joe Armstrong

The Green Day leader talks Bush, Britney and being a middle-aged punk for our 40th anniversary.

DAVID FRICKE

Posted Nov 01, 2007 8:19 AM

You have two young sons. What kind of America will they inherit?

This war has to finish before something new blossoms. There's no draft — that's why none of the kids give a shit. They'd rather watch videos on YouTube. It's hard to tell what's next — there is so much information out there with no power to it. Everything is in transition, including our government. Next year, it's someone else in the White House. There's no way to define anything. It's Generation Zero. But you gotta start at zero to get to something.

Is there anyone now running for president who gives you hope for the future?

Barack Obama, but it's a bit early to tell if this is the guy I like. I get sick of the religious-figure thing. People don't question their rulers, these political figures, just as they don't question their ministers and priests. They're not going to question George Bush, especially if he goes around talking about God — "I'm going to let God decide this for me. He's going to give me the answer." The fear of God keeps people silent.

When did you first vote in a presidential election?

In 1992. I was twenty. I voted for Clinton.

Did you feel like you made a difference?

Yeah. The Eighties sucked. There was so much bullshit that went along with that decade. I felt like Clinton was a fresh face with fresh ideas. There were times when he was dropping bombs, and I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?" But he became a target. We have this puritanical vision of what a leader is supposed to be, and that's what makes us the biggest hypocrites in the world. We got so inside this guy's sexual habits. Now we have a president going around, killing in the name of what? In the name of nothing.

What did you accomplish with your 2004 anti-Bush album, "American Idiot"? He was re-elected anyway, and the war in Iraq is still going on.

I found a voice. There may have been people disenfranchised by it. People have a hard time with that kind of writing: "Why are you preaching to me?" It does sound preachy, a bit. I'm a musician, and I want to say positive things. If it's about self-indulgent depression or overthrowing the government, it's gotta come from my heart. And when you say "Fuck George W. Bush" in a packed arena in Texas, that's an accomplishment, because you're saying it to the unconverted.

Do you think selling nearly 6 million copies of that album might have an effect on the 2008 election? A kid who bought it at fifteen will be voting age next year.

I hope so. I made it to give people a reason to think for themselves. It was supposed to be a catalyst. Maybe that's one reason why it's difficult for me to write about politics now. A lot of things on that record are still relevant. It's like we have this monarchy in politics — the passing of the baton between the Clintons and the Bushes. That's frightening. What needs to happen is a complete change, a person coming from the outside with a new perspective on all the fucked-up problems we have.

How would you describe the state of pop culture?

People want blood. They want to see other people thrown to the lions. Do audiences want rock stars? I can't tell. You have information coming at you from so many areas — YouTube, the Internet, tabloids. Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution. How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up? People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.

She was a willing conspirator. She didn't say no.

She is a manufactured child. She has come up through this Disney perspective, thinking that all life is about is to be the most ridiculous star you could be. But it's also about what we look at as entertainment — watching somebody go through that.

How do you decide what your children can see on TV or the Internet? As a dad, even a punk-rock dad, that can make you conservative in your choices.

I want to protect them from garbage. It's not necessarily the sex and drugs. It's bad drugs and bad sex, the violence you see on television and in the news. I want to protect them from being desensitized. I want them to realize this is real life, not a video game.

The main thing I want them to have is a good education, because that's something I never had. Get smart. Educate yourself as much as you can, and get as much out of it, even if the teacher is an asshole.

Do you regret dropping out of high school?

Life in high school sucks. I bucked the system. I also got lucky. My wife has a degree in sociology, and there are conversations she has — I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. College — I could have learned from that.

But I was the last of six kids. At that point, my mother was fifty-eight, and she threw up her hands — "I'm through with this parenting thing." Also, I could not handle authority figures. But I wouldn't say I'm an authority figure for my kids. I provide guidelines, not rules.

What is it like being a middle-aged punk? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

It's about the energy you bring with you, the pulse inside your head. I want to get older. I don't want to be twenty-one again. Screw that. My twenties were a difficult time — where my band was at, getting married, having a child. I remember walking out of a gig in Chicago, past these screaming kids. There were these punks, real ones, sitting outside our tour bus. One girl had a forty-ouncer, and she goes, "Billie Joe, come drink with us." I said, "I can't, I've got my family on the bus." She goes, "Well, fuck you then." I get on the bus, and my wife says, "Did that bitch just tell you to fuck off? I'm gonna kick her ass right now." I'm holding her back, while my child is naked, jumping on the couch: "Hi, Daddy!" That was my whole life right there — screaming kids, punks telling me to fuck off, my wife getting pissed, my naked son waiting to get into his pajamas.

There's nothing wrong with being twenty-one. It's the lessons you learn. At thirty, you think, "Why did I worry so much about this shit?" When I hit forty, I'll say the same thing: "Why did I worry about this shit in my thirties?"

What have you learned about yourself?

There is more to life than trying to find your way through self-destruction or throwing yourself into the fire all the time. Nihilism in punk rock can be a cliché. I need to give myself more room to breathe, to allow my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me.

Before Dookie, I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I had a guitar, a bag of clothes and a four-track recorder. There are ways you don't want to change. You don't want to lose your spark. But I need silence more than I did before. I need to get away from the static and noise, whereas before, I thrived on it.

Are you ready for the end of the music business? The technology and its effect on sales have changed dramatically since Green Days' debut EP — on vinyl — in 1989.

Technology now and the way people put out records — everything comes at you so fast, you don't know what you're investigating. You can't identify with it — at least I can't. With American Idiot, we made a conscious effort to give people an experience they could remember for the rest of their lives. It wasn't just the content. It was the artwork, the three acts — the way you could read it all like someone's story.

Is music simply not important to young people now the way it was to you as a kid?

People get addicted to garbage they don't need. At shows, they gotta talk on their phones to their friend who's in the next aisle. I was watching this documentary on Jeff Tweedy of Wilco [Sunken Treasure]. He was playing acoustic, and he ends up screaming at the audience: "Your fucking conversation can wait. I'm up here singing a song — get involved." He wasn't being an asshole. He was like, "Leave your bullshit behind. Let's celebrate what's happening now."

We need music, and we need it good. I took it very seriously. There's a side of me where music will always send chills up my spine, make me cry, make me want to get up and do Pete Townshend windmills. In a lot of ways, I was in a minority when I was young. There are people who go, "Oh, that's a snappy tune." I listen to it and go, "That's the greatest fucking song ever. That is the song I want played at my funeral."

Now that you've brought it up, what song do you want played at your funeral?

It keeps changing. "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie. "In My Life," by the Beatles. "Love," by John Lennon.

Those are all reflective ballads, not punk.

I disagree. They are all honest in their reflection. The punk bands I liked were the ones who didn't fall into clichés — the Clash, the Ramones. The Ramones wrote beautiful love songs. They also invented punk rock. I'd have to add "Blitzkrieg Bop" to the list.

What is the future of punk rock? Will it still be a voice of rebellion in twenty years?

It's categorized in so many different ways. You've got the MySpace punks. But there is always the subculture of it — the rats in the walls, pounding the pavement and booking their own live shows. It comes down to the people who are willing to do something different from everybody else.

You are in a different, platinum-album world now. What makes you so sure that spirit survives?

I'm going on faith — because I was there. Gilman Street [the Berkeley, California, club where Green Day played early shows] is still around. And that's a hard task, because there is no bar — it's a nonprofit cooperative. It's like a commune — this feeling of bucking the system together, surviving and thriving on art. Punk, as an underground, pushes for the generation gap. As soon as you're twenty-five years old, there's a group of sixteen-year-olds coming to kick your ass. And you have to pass the torch on. It's a trip to have seen it happen so many times. It gives me goose bumps — punk is something that survives on its own.

[cucumbers-and-olives]

1950

Summary: based off the song 1950 by king princess

Category: angst, angst, and more angst (sorry not sorry)

Fandom: JATP

Paring: Julie x Reader

Word Count: just shy of 1k

Warnings/Includes: typos, one mention of drinking

A/N: @gifted-burnout asked for it in this post. hope this fulfills your wishes! (also i wrote this in under four hours i had no idea i could write that fast wow)

Mandatory Thanking of the Betas: i didn’t let y’all read this, so i’m crossing my fingers that it’s good rn

AO3 link here (not on AO3 yet)

Please don’t repost my work without my permission, in part or whole. My work can also be found on AO3 under the same username. Thank you!

(keep reading)

“This is a song I wrote recently. I’m gonna dedicate to someone very special,” You paused scanning the audience for Julie. She was late, again. “Anyway, hope you guys like it!”

You nodded to the band, and the soft clattering of instruments filled the room as you prepared to sing.

I hate it when dudes try to chase me

But I love it when you try to save me

'Cause I'm just a lady

I love it when we play 1950

So cold that your stare's 'bout to kill me

I'm surprised when you kiss me

So tell me why my gods look like you

And tell me why it's wrong

The soft clattering of the doors opening drew your eyes. Julie moved through the audience softly, finding her seat in the front row. A smile filled your face. No matter how late she was to your performances, she always brought a smile to your face. The chords in the background brought you back to reality and you continued to sing, your eyes fixating on her, her hair shining in the soft light that reflected into the audience.

So, I'll wait

For you

I'll pray

I will keep on waiting for your love

For you

I'll wait

I will keep on waiting for your

Did you mean it when you said I was pretty?

“She’s cute,” Carrie remarked. “Do you have a crush on her?”

“On who?” Julie asked, her eyes fixed on you as you spun around the room dancing, a random song playing in the background.

“Y/N, of course! C’mon, do you have a crush on her?” Carrie asked again, nudging Julie.

“I- Yeah, she’s pretty, and kind and sweet. I love hanging out with her and her songs-” She cut herself off, turning to Carrie. “Oh my god.” She turned several shades of red.

“You have a crush on her!” Carrie sang, and you turned your head to the two, trying to hide that you had been listening in on their conversation.

“Who does Julie have a crush on?” You said, looking over at Julie.

“Just this really pretty girl,” Julie said. “Now you guys need to go, the band’s coming over in a bit to practice,” She ushered the two of you out and closed the garage door behind you.

“Carrie, do you know what that was about?” She didn’t respond as she slung her bag over her shoulder, a smug smile resting on her face as she walked away.

“Carrie!”

That you didn't wanna live in a city

Where the people are shitty

I like it when we play 1950

So bold, make 'em know that you're with me

Stone cold, will you miss me?

So tell me why my gods look like you

And tell me why it's wrong

So, I'll wait

For you

“We can’t hold the gig till she gets here,” Ramone said, as you looked out into the audience. It was your first gig. Your first real gig and she had promised that she would be here early. You softly practiced the chords to the song you had written for her, 1950. You wanted her to be in the crown when you played it, but if she didn’t show, you had a backup to sing.

“Julie isn’t going to be here, and the stage manager just told me we need to be on in five minutes,” Rudie said, patting you on the shoulder. It wasn’t much, but it showed that he cared. And that he would have a bottle of beer for you to chug later.

“She promised, Rud. She-”

“Yeah, I know kid. But we need to go on.”

“Okay,” You said slowly, dropping your phone onto one of the benches before welcoming the crowd that you hoped would numb your feelings.

I'll pray

I will keep on waiting for your love

For you

I'll wait

I will keep on waiting for your

I hope that you're happy with me in your life

I hope that you won't slip away in the night

“Where are you going?” You said as the light turned on in your room. Julie was on the floor, looking for something.

She picked up a few things before finding her phone. She looked up at you with sad eyes. “I gotta go- my dad doesn’t know I’m here.” She crossed the room to the door.

“Stay,” You grabbed her hand. She met your eyes as she looked up. “For me. We can deal with your dad in the morning, okay?”

Her hand slipped off the doorknob slowly. “Okay, for you.”

You tackled her onto the bed and she let out a soft giggle. “I make you happy?” You asked, surprised at her laugh.

“Of course you do! Did you think that I wasn’t?”

“You never said it, so I didn’t know.”

She took your face in her hands. “You make me happy.”

I hope that you're happy with me in your life

I hope that you won't slip away

I hate it when dudes try to chase me

I love it when you try to save me

'Cause I'm just a lady

So tell me why my gods look like you

And tell me why it's wrong

So, I'll wait

For you

I'll pray

I will keep on waiting for your love

For your love

(For you)

I'll wait

I will keep on waiting for your

The song ended, and applause and shouts filled the room. But it didn’t matter, because she had left already. It made you doubt if she had ever been there at all.

-

JATP: @n0wornever @unsaidmegan @calamitykaty @screwunsaidemily @crybabyddl @badwolf00593

All: @funsizearsonist