#it's because i'm a fucking idiot

[egophiliac]

Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it

hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS

PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:

unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal

the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing

has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again

(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)

based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?

has canonically worn Dad Shorts

CONS:

(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)

NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties

despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)

currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything

Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family

???:

turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess

all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!

[zivazivc]

my brainrot about these two can be measured in liters

[c-hrona]

Pietà

[oblique-lane]

more mercenary analysis, whichever merc you want <3

Not a mercenary but... Okay!

Let's dissect Pauling

Always so collected, responsible and efficient. The one who is not afraid to get her hands dirty for the sake of a goal, and her performance is always one hundred percent. What could possibly be not cool about her?

Well, maybe the fact that this all is, in fact, an act. Of course it is.

I'm not saying her determination and dedication to her job aren't sincere decisions of her heart, she really enjoys it and shines in her work. It's just a matter of WHY and WHAT she's doing it for. And on what scale.

For her, her job is EVERYTHING. Eagerly working 364 days a year with barely any rest, masochistically putting herself in so much danger, blindly following the boss's instructions, not even hesitating to kill people standing on the way...

Wow, there's gotta be something going on here.

Well, obviously the Administrator plays A HUGE role in this situation. Why would Pauling trust her so much? Referring to the comics, Pauling trusted her wholeheartedly on whatever the Administrator was planning, even though she didn't know what it was. This blind following that vaguely resembles nothing less than a weird somewhat child-to-a-mother attachment. It's just a Boss, just a job, why?

Because that's what it is. Mother issues. Very apparent.

We don't know anything about Pauling's past, so there's where the headcanons begin:

I'm assuming her birth mother was very neglectful and dismissing, never acknowledged her daughter's accomplishments and struggles. No matter how hard Pauling tried to become "worthy" in her eyes, it seemed to be never enough, as if she didn't even exist at all. Maybe her mother was a substance addict or something and their household wasn't safe and stable, so Pauling had to become an adult early and run away from home as a teenager and find a job to get by.

(I assume that because I believe there was a mention in the canon lore that Ms.Pauling had been working for the Administrator for long long years (don't remember exactly), indicating that she started working when she was still a minor).

So, being taken under the Administrators wing, her young wounded brain found a substitute for a very thing she was lacking, subconsciously clinging onto the Administrator as a newly mother figure, in order to "get it right this time".

Administrators Strictness, responsibility and demandingness were the most favorite qualities of a person of authority in Pauling's eyes, in contrast to the laziness, unaccountability and indifference of the environment in which she grew up. She could finally strive.

This time she would show the mother figure that she's worthy, she's important and irreplaceable; she exists. She would prove that no amount of hardship is too much for her if it means approval for the Administrator.

And the Administrator kind-of-sort-of gave Pauling this pseudo-love in return, encouraging her to sacrifice herself even more for their work. Which is at the very least unfair, and at most just predatory. Administrators "love" was conditional, in contrast with when the real motherly love Pauling unknowingly expected. Administrator was too immature for a mother figure, too much in power for a partner or a friend, yet too close for a formal boss. What is this!? Something not nice.

The Administrator doesn't love Pauling for Pauling, she loves her working qualities. And thus, Paulings subconscious guess was confirmed that "I'm only important when I'm doing the job. I AM the job."

Tying your worth to what you DO instead of what you are is a huge dangerous existential rout one could choose. But she never really knew her importance outside of her skills, so she wouldn't know.

Now imagine how actually painful that character arc was for her, when the Administrator proved herself to be unreliable and secretive, and when Pauling started to question her intentions for the first time.

"... Because I trusted you!"

"Then why are you questioning me now?"

It wasn't even the real conversation between them, just Pauling's mind torturing her.

It reminded me of the crisis of a 4-year-old when they realise that their parents aren't perfect; they don't know anything and they CAN hurt you.This shattering illusion of almighty love. When a child stops believing that the "harsh love" their mother treats them with is simply an abuse.

Wouldn't it be terrifying to realise in your 20s thar despite running for "the mother's approval" all your life, you will never truly get it. If your mother failed to provide it to you at such a young age, nothing will truly substitute that, especially now, when you're an adult, no one will love your inner child the way it was supposed to be loved.

Unless you yourself decide to take that role.

...

Realistically speaking, it's not nearly that sever with Pauling! She's happy in the environment she's in, there's lots of interests for her to explore (Guns, fights, killin'!) So many adventures every day! Even if Pauling has her inner suffering, it's not that bad aa I describe it. Her mother problems may actually be an advantage, a reason she is such a good and caring boss for the mercenaries.

I'm just edgying things down for the sake of the clearer analysis. But still...

If the Administrator will be gone and Pauling loses her life-dedicated job... What will be left? Who is Pauling once Mann Co is no more? Can she answer that?

References:

– A video that helped me better understand the Good Girl mask:

– "Lise Bourbeau's 5 soul wounds model: Injustice"

[anqelbean]

The "Binghe fell in love with Shen Qingqiu because he was an authority figure and he has abandonment issues" jokes are funny and all, but my GOD if I see another person actually believing that's the whole reason Luo Binghe fell in love with SQQ I will go insane.

[bonefall]

I understand being upset by the moonpaw dog post but i dont think talking about some random teen publicly (on a pretty big fandom blog) as opposed to like, dming them about it, is a very nice thing to do? Would recommend keeping that kinda gossip in dms going forward personally.

??????? "That kinda gossip???"

Saying that it's fucked up that a publicly posted incest joke about how deformed she should look went to the top of the Warrior Cats and Moonpaw tags, is gossip???

TRENDING TAGS?? GOSSIP?

I'm not talking about "some random teen," I have not even dropped a username and been VERY clear I don't want harassment of anyone. During this discussion about wider ableism against Moonpaw, I've directly answered two anons about the contents of a post that was/IS extremely popular to the tune of nearly a thousand notes.

One of those two asks was an anon who only stumbled in to say that the post was funny in a display of SHOCKING tonedeafness, while I was talking about how shitty it is to compare people who are the products of incest to unethical dog breeds, especially in the context of WC. The other was an actual XX/XY chimera who expressed that the extremely popular post hurt their feelings, and when they tried to express discomfort to someone, got told they "probably killed their twin in the womb."

It's not just one rando weenie little blog the minute half of the Tumblr space is openly laughing at a joke about deformed incest kids and hoping Moonpaw dies because she's so "gross." Not nice?? Your feelings are hurt? OTHER people's feelings were ALREADY hurt.

NOTHING about this was "nice" to begin with!

Difference is, when YOU cry me a river, you can build me a bridge, and get right the fuck over it. A person who's the product of incest cries and has to go right back to every shitty banjo-hunchback-hapsburg joke they've heard before, just feeling more unsafe about a space that PRETENDS to care about the abuse they experienced. If you feel guilty about that, maybe you should!

If you were under the impression I was ever "nice" about bigotry, you were mistaken. I don't appreciate calls for ME to be more polite when I'm at a trend of fandom ableism and calling it fucked up. I've named NO names. Sounds like what you ACTUALLY want is for people like me who have a platform to shut up.

[aeterna---amantes]

Age 19: I love this character so much, he is my husband

Age 25: Wow, I was so fucking cringe, I am embarrassed at myself, ew, I'm glad I grew up

Age 35: .......this man IS MY HUSBAND and I LOVE HIM and I'm proud of it!!!

[triglycercule]

horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs

i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food

you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)

[furiousgoldfish]

my parents: punishing and humiliating me under duress and torture for having any kind of reaction, for crying, for complaining, for getting angry, trying to fight back, breaking down or showing any kind of pain and fear

also my parents: increasingly annoyed when they can't easily get a reaction out of me and stooping to worse and more horrid provocations and violence to still be able to get a reaction

[kuroo-hitsuji]

Thinking about how Diavolo planted an entire fucking tree, in his fucking hidden childhood hangout spot (protected from anything and everything else in the forest that may try to get to it, mind you, so that is just about the most well-protected tree in the entire devildom--), and of course made sure it grows some of the most Quality apples in hell... Exclusively because he wanted to show Lucifer Devildom apples. What the fuck. That is the gayest thing I've ever heard. And then you find this all out specifically because he turns your little apple picking date with him into Fawning-Over-Lucifer hour, I--

He's pining so fucking hard, man. They're literally so fucking gay. The fact that these two motherfuckers basically canonically have the longest slowburn in fucking History is eating me alive orz

[carlyraejepsans]

hey look, it's the kid protagonist that was hugely formative to your identity as a child! wouldn't it be fun to try to imagine how their life would be now if they grew up like you and they were also in their 20s? (<- words of a man about to step on a rake)

[ruvviks]

was vitali ever truly happy in his college years when he was together with nick? well, it's complicated.

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @bialanwake, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@jacobseed, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine

[mobydickering]

merlin magic reveal where they're on some sort of jaunt through the forest™ and they come across land that's been sucked dry of everything, and albion itself screams for merlin to fix the wrongs he's committed by killing magical beings on this soil. and merlin stumbles off his horse and sinks his hands into the ground and the earth sucks his remorse and his magic from him, and somehow??? arthur knows that for him to have a kingdom to rule over there must be a kingdom left standing, and this--magic being pulled out of merlin while his eyes leak molten gold tears--is the only way he'll have merlin intact and by his side while he rules.

[mysticalcats]

ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed

ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them

and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it

and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it

so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO

[antianakin]

Just so everyone knows, it is ALWAYS fair to blame Anakin Skywalker and his stupid family drama for the galaxy's problems.

Always.

Because it's made VERY explicit that Palpatine would have lost if Anakin hadn't chosen to side with him in Revenge of the Sith. Anakin is a Child of Prophecy, but in that moment in Palpatine's office, he defies his own fate out of selfishness and greed and sides with Palpatine over the Jedi. If Anakin had just chosen differently or not shown up at all, Palpatine would've lost. Bada bing bada boom, no Palpatine, no Emperor, no Empire, no Death Stars. The Clone Wars end on the side of the Republic, the Sith lord running the Republic Senate is gone, the Sith lord running the Separatist government is gone, so there's an opportunity for the galaxy to find some way to end the conflict peacefully and regain a certain amount of balance going forward. Unfortunately, Anakin is the dictionary definition of a colossal failure and instead he throws the entire galaxy into a fascist dictatorship.

Sure, Palpatine was building an Empire without Anakin and if Anakin had just not existed at all, you could MAYBE question whether he would've been able to succeed. But there's just as much of an argument that he wouldn't have, that Mace would have killed him in his office anyway like he was well on his way to doing before Anakin decided to be a selfish greedy little bitch.

So while Luke and Leia obviously do end up doing a lot to SAVE the galaxy, it's their parents' stupid family drama that means they HAVE to do a lot to save the galaxy that Anakin and Padme broke by being horny young people who couldn't just do their jobs and keep it in their pants at the same time. Luke and Leia inherit the damage of their parents' stupid family drama.

I think it's ENTIRELY fair to lay the blame at Anakin's feet for the problems in the galaxy. He's a Child of Prophecy, the entire galaxy's fate literally turns on Anakin's choices and whims. Anakin decides to side with the Sith, the Sith win. Anakin keeps serving the Sith, the Sith stay in power. Anakin decides to turn on the Sith, the Sith die. Anakin's choices determine EVERYTHING because of what he is, so his stupid family dramas literally cause the galaxy to implode.

[blobee]

I was literally kicked out of lesson because my microphone stopped working. And when I tried to use chat, my teacher asked me to complete the task and after 30 seconds she asked for an answer. Obviously, I could not determine whether "неопределённо" is written with "не" merged or separately. And honestly, like an idiot, I wrote separately, and she asked me to explain and I didn't know why. And then she just told me to leave the call. I didn't even listen to the rest of it. It's a shame, I can't remember these idiotic rules of this fucking grammar because there are fucking hundreds of dumbass quirks that have no logic. THEY JUST THERE BECAUSE WHY NOT