#it's basically a crackfic

[moronic-validity]

Alright so I have a fever and had a dream that flowed like a crack fic and here are the high points:

Task force 141, the Pines Family, Simon Petrikov, and @stickyarbiterwombat were all there

Petrikov and Ford got into an argument about who was smarter

Ghost did not like the fact that Petrikov and him share a first name

Price and Stan wound up smoking cigars together

Mabel stole Ghost's mask at some point and bedazzled it

Ghost begrudgingly thanked her, despite the fact he couldn't fucking stand it

Gaz and Soap were on the floor crying laughing

Ford and Petrikov eventually began laughing and being friendly due to their exs

Gaz and Dipper traded hats for jokes

Bill showed up and didn't bother to tell the difference between Gaz and Dipper and Gaz was just like : )

Mabel let Soap use her grappling hook

Gaz and the rest of the 141 kicked Bill's ass

Ford was just like ugh, my ex is SO annoying

Petrikov was like ahaha, yeah, but I bet he was so cool before he joined with that deity

And Ford was like 👀

Petrikov was like he was a normal human when you two were together, right?

R I G H T????

And then Petrikov started judging him

Alex asked me if I wanted to go ice skating later

And then I woke up

I still have a fever.

[infestedguest]

On a whim I went on a quest to find out how many crossover crackfics of Fallout New Vegas and Friends (1994) exist, and was devastated to come up completely empty handed. Are you seriously telling me that in the 13 years both pieces of media have been in the public consciousness nobody wrote a crossover crackfic?

[redriotingfornoreason]

If Smoker One Piece Had a Wife (pt. 2, I just figured out how to use gifs (super fun ✨))

So I think that like maybe two people liked my last post on this (shoutout to you guys) so I'm making another part (Yippee!!). I will probably add one more part after this, but I don't know yet. As always, enjoy.

Absolutely expects him to be a gentleman

Expects small gifts even if he only goes to take the trash out

Also to hold doors for her even if she insists on walking in front of him.

Expects him to throw his coat down over puddles (puddle is super small does not matter)

Expects flowers every once in a while.

Wears the pants in the relationship when it comes to the relationship (Smoker gets to be unofficial/official breadwinner)

Smoker does not remember anything about proposing, mainly because she told him to in the most indirect way possible.

Made him go ring shopping with her and told him to put it on her that night

“We’re engaged now. :3” “Huh???”

Plans wedding herself, doesn’t tell him shit about it.

Literally just saws “When you get home, put on the outfit I have upstairs and go to the dock.”

She had everything set up already

He was still late

Contrary to popular belief, Smoker does love his wife.

Keeps a picture of her in his jacket next to his heart

Probably has some dumb shit she said wrote on the back

“If you die, I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you again so you better not you fucker <3 – your favorite ankle biter”

Shows love through playing with her hair

Braiding it, but also just ruffling her hair when he’s thinking

When in bed, likes to pet her hair to sleep (helps both of them)

Keeps his wedding ring locked away when he’s at war so he never loses it. (His one real treasure when he isn’t with his wife.)

Takes pictures of things he think she would like just to show to her (could be a pretty waterfall, could be a rock just depends)

Weekly transponder snail calls because he does miss his wife a lot.

Tells her about the different things going on at the base, mentions the straw hats every once in a while (she does not know them nor does she care)

She just likes listening to his voice

Always falls asleep on call

Smoker knows this, but does it anyway. When he knows she is asleep, he says “I love you” before hanging up.

[anamelessfool]

Am I going to write a "but there was only one bed" fic is that going to be me right now

Because I'll do it! Watch me!!!

[999moreyears]

Interesting new name <3

ty ^_^ slimecicle aborted that thang. bbh is prolife asdly!

[radios-not-dead]

Casually drops the most horrifying piece of writing I've ever attempted. Full disclosure, this is absolutely unhinged.

There's also a full animation, buuuut idk if I'm ready to post that just yet

[decaflondonfog]

can’t even begin to tell you how fucking incredible it feels to go all balls to the wall and write a fic for a fandom you’ve never interacted with but for a piece of media you’ve loved for years and just go crazy indulgent with all the ridiculous details because realistically you’re the only person who will read it

[koskela-knights]

Hnggg, I'm just so overwhelmed by them 😩 In the good sense. Like overflowing with excitement and love for the Koskela brothers like you wouldn't believe 💙✨

Like I just have to get it out in one way or another: writing fic, drabbles, random rambles, making sketches or taking screenshots and rewatching their ads on YT and saving them on my laptop <33

Call me an amateur the way I adore them 💙💙

[roxyteal]

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Dave. Do you see that Gathering 1 is putting on? Have you ever heard of Among Us, Dave?

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (Oh dear lord...)

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) You need to be... You need to be an imposter.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (This can't be happening. I'm dreaming. That has to be it.)

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) I know it'll be hard for you to be sus. But I know you can do it, Dave.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (And he said all that with a straight face... How does he do it?)

Roughly a month and a half later...

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Hi I'm gonna go mess up 1 big time lmao wish me luck!! (Annnd time to mute the naysayers.) Oh Billy, hi. Wow, you look pissed.

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) YOU. YOU HAVE MADE A CRITICAL ERROR.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Uhhhhh wait hang on is this about Dave? Look I was joking with the Among Us metaphor-

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) YOU LEFT HIM ON READ. WHEN HE WAS IN DANGER.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Oh son of a bitch- Yeah okay, sorry. But I'm a busy guy, you know that!

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) REPENT FOR YOUR NEGLIGENCE.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Oh shit oh fuck oh SHIT- OKAYOKAYOKAY I'LLSAVEHIM I'LLSAVEHIM I'LLSAVEHIM

Bonus:

Dave🪛 (@THRIVE_INITIATIVE_1) You know, it's a good thing I erased the Gathering from your memories.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) What?!

Dave🪛 (@THRIVE_INITIATIVE_1) What?

[pyrriax]

hello tumblr!! footnote post for today but this one is Long so. have fun :3

[andrea-lyn]

“I’m not entirely sure if it was a purposeful act from my ex-husband, a pack bonding instinct from several of the players, or if we’re simply lucky, but Richmond happens to be the foremost werewolf-friendly team in the Premier League. Over seventy-five percent of our players happen to be lycanthropes.”

Turns out, there's a lot that Ted hasn't figured out in this world, but he's happy to learn. In this case, that means getting a crash course in werewolves and pack dynamics.

[temiizpalace]

☆┊MONOPOLY? MONOPOLY.

SUMMARY: monopoly. the game infamous for destroying friendships and relationships. it wouldn’t hurt to play a game or two, right? how do your acquaintances suffer during the game?

CHARACTERS: all dorms (+grim)

GENRE: fluff, crackfic

WARNINGS: cursing

PLATONIC or ROMANTIC, PLATONIC ORTHO + GRIM

NOTES: my sister punched me in the stomach cause i bought her property

reader gender is not specified, reader is yuu

SPENT THE ENTIRETY OF THE GAME IN JAIL

no matter what they did, no matter how many times they wished to try, they always landed in jail. even when he’s finally free after seven knows many turns, he’ll pick up a card, and it says go to jail. jeez, what did he do?! this game sucks, i don’t see the appeal. is he so much of a bad guy the game wants to keep him locked up forever? its hurting his feelings. why do you want to keep playing?? can he just quit? he doesn’t wanna play anymore. fine. he’ll keep playing. just make sure you win or else you’ll get an earful..

spoiler alert: you lose and now he’s disappointed

riddle, deuce, jack, malleus, silver

LAUGHS LIKE AN EVIL VILLAIN WHEN SOMEONE LANDS ON THEIR PROPERTY

oh dear, how poor and unfortunate are you? such a shame really. oh well! fork over the cash, prefect! it’s nothing personal, just a simple game of monopoly. you can spare a couple hundreds, couldn’t you? surely you weren’t planning on winning, right? all is fair in love and war they say! he’ll make it up to you later, but it’s just better to pay— what’s that? no money? BANKRUPT? how sad. you snooze ya lose. better luck next time, you were no match to begin with. he’ll take what’s left, thanks! much appreciated 🫶🫶

he’s just competitive he’s sorry please don’t hit him with the board please— NONO WAIT—

ace, ruggie, azul, jade, jamil, epel, idia, lilia, grim

IS HOARDING ALL THE LITTLE HOUSES

they’re so cute! not very detailed, but he can make a nice village out of them! oh. you need them for the game? can’t you use.. something else? please let him keep them. if you want them back you’ll have to pry them from his cold dead hands. here, use these thumbtacks! they basically look like houses! why’s he so attached to the tiny plastic primary colored houses from this game? unsure, but he likes em. hands off <3

if you play on the floor watch your step

deuce, cater, floyd, kalim, rook, sebek, grim

USING THEIR WAD OF MONOPOLY MONEY AS A FAN

at first, this game seemed.. childish. however, who is he to say no to victory? just look at all the currency he holds in the palm of his hand, practically basking in wealth. tsk, tsk, wipe that pouty face off of your face prefect. he’s just playing the game after all. not his fault you can’t save your money. my, my, it’s getting hot! excuse him as he fans himself off with his hundred dollar bills. he would share if he can, but it looks like his hands are full. needless to say, he is suffering from success over here.

ace, cater, leona, ruggie, azul, jade, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, ortho, lilia, grim (they all on my list. better watch themself)

BRINGS UP PERSONAL SHIT DURING AN ARGUMENT OVER PROPERTY

will bring up moments from each others past mid-argument cause they’re just petty like that. don’t look at him like that! not his fault you decided to ramble about your middle school days— HEY. DONT YOU DARE BRING UP HIS BABY PHOTOS. NO. NOT THE PHOTO. NONONONONONONONONO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pieces are in fact flung to the ground

ace, leona, azul, epel, sebek, grim

ABOUT TO FLIP THE BOARD

barely holding it together. he is this close to just grabbing the board and throwing it to the ground. he wants to tear up the currency and toss it down the paper shredder while screaming his lungs out. this game is absolutely SHIT. don’t ever bring it in his sights again, he will lose it.

riddle, jamil (depends), epel, sebek, grim

TRYING TO PLAY NORMALLY

it’s just a game guys, relax. sure, it’s not ideal, but let’s not try stabbing each other over a simple game of dice and money? seriously, it’s not that deep. as long as you’re playing together, he’s having a fun time. that’s all that really matters to him in the end! you’re having fun, he’s having fun, it’s a win-win. while chaos ensues, he’s pretty good at being levelheaded and the voice of reason so hopefully it doesn’t blow up in his face.

trey, jack, silver

A/N: monopoly almost got my cousin divorced fun game 10/10 would play again. so many fics in the draft hopefully they come out soon 🧌🧌🧌

date published: 8/20/24

© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!

[sugudoe]

⋆ ˚ ཐིiཋྀ ˚ ⋆ 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗠𝗘 𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ── ✎ ₊· 𝗷𝗷𝗸

✶ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: in desperate need of a skin, you, a talented beginner tattoo artist, decides to test your partner and his love for you in a comical way — “ can i tattoo you ? ’’

✶ 𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i’ve been drawing for a couple of days now, and this is inspired by my sibling ( a tattoo artist ) and their influence on me, cause i too wish i could tattoo myself whenever i’m bored. ALSO i know we all see geto as tough but i had to!! and nanami surprised even me but the vision is visioning, you can not deny. I KNOW you can’t do many tattoos in one setting but please it’s just for plot. divider by: @cafekitsune

✶ 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬: fluff / crackfic / smau with writing / reader has no gender / english is not my first language / there is mistakes because the app beat my ass sowwy / mentions of needles and pain / foul language / suggestive theme and horny police for nanami

✶ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gojo ﾉ geto ﾉ nanami

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

Satoru is sitting in your chair, ankles fully on display for you, but you’re actually occupied with keeping everything sanitized in the makeshift space of your boyfriend’s spacious room. He is laughing and acting tough until he hears the buzz of the machine, then he stops and gulps.

“Shit, sweets. Don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“It’s too late.” You answer with a devilish smirk, before laughing and putting the pen down. “It’s okay if you don’t want anymore, no pressure.”

Maybe it’s the combo of your puppy eyes with small pout, but Gojo falls for your antics and let you have your way in his skin, it’s takes just a few minutes before you end the drawing of the little ants crawling his ankles. He, obviously, has the limitless off, and that scares him a bit — to feel pain, see dots of his blood. But when he looks at your concentrated face, pain dissolves, and he is happy to have something permanently his made by you, his only love.

By the end, though, he grins at you and asks for another one, bigger, blue! And you make the design and ink him again, before realizing you did not gave him the Suguru cat, but you fall for his dragon. Bitch.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

Geto can see black dots in his vision when he lays belly down on the bed. He is a tough guy, been through stuff you have only an ideia about. You could guess by the minimal details and the fucking huge scar on his chest, he has been deeply cut by something. Still, he is scared of the needle you are holding.

But here he is, presenting his blank large and sexy back to you, making you rethink of doing another thing instead of the tattoo, but you have your opportunity and need to grab it.

“My love, are you ready?” You voice has the buzzing sound of the machine in the background, Suguru groans at that.

“Please, beat me to sleep.” It’s all he says before you touch his face. Before you can say anything, he talks again. “I’m fine, I think. I trust you a lot, baby.”

Suguru soon learns how soft and weightless your hand feels, because although something is burning in his back, he thinks is just you rubbing alcohol — that is until he wonders why are you rubbing alcohol for twenty straight minutes now, and then he shifts his face a bit to stare at you. He almost passed out again when he realized the tattoo is already in progress, but he is fine, and simply goes back to his original head position, before deciding to sleep.

Suguru wakes up hours later with this intricate tattoo on his upper back, he smiles and flexes his muscles on the mirror before staring at you, seeing you googling him. Yeah, if you keep looking at him like that and your hands feeling like feather, he may enjoy this whole thing — he does! By the end of the year, his whole torso is designed by you.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

Nanami presented you what could be called a slideshow of tattoos he would like to have. Basically he made a pinterest board and added you to put the tattoos you would think he look nice with (basically all you’ve seen).

By saturday, he is wearing a white shirt, showcasing his big arm’s muscles, you get occupied with a little thing before you even start to prepare the living room. Now, he has no shirt anymore.

“So, what did you choose for me, love?” His soothing voice asks you, he is sitting by your dinner table and you smile at him, showing your tablet with the many arts you made based on what both he and you liked.

“Now you pick one and we start.”

“Can I have all of them?” Oh.. “I like the art, you are so talented, love. Let me be your canvas, do what you want.” Yeah, you get occupied again in the day.

It’s nighttime when you crack your bones and look at both of your boyfriend’s arm, all inked up. He stares at you normally, no pain, no heavy breathing. He really was a punk in high school.

“So, since we already did all 12, can we finish the chest as well? I think legs would be nice too, or neck… I can have neck tattoos now!” Nanami says with a energetic voice when both of you are eating pasta later.

“Damn baby, you are getting addicted.” You sit on his lap, eyes focused on the ink all over him. “Yeah, we can do all that.”

[emmg]

I desperately need someone to write the dumbest smut-but-not-really crackfic of Rook x Emmrich x Lucanis trying to have a threesome and it’s a complete disaster:

-Rook has Emmrich wrapped around her finger. They’re in a disturbingly functional, happy relationship (what, communication? In this economy??)

-Rook convinces Emmrich that a threesome is a fantastic idea, not through seduction but via a magical PowerPoint presentation. She’s got charts. She’s done research. It’s basically an academic conference

-Her whole pitch? She knows what Lucanis likes. The dude’s got a type, and surprise: Emmrich fits the bill (as does she, if we’re being real). She probably has a venn diagram of their collective appeal. It’s disturbingly thorough

-They end up in Lucanis’ pantry-bedroom because someone (Rook) put him in charge of the location. There’s literally a wheel of cheddar next to his cot. There’s no bed

-Emmrich, the only adult in the room, takes one look and is like, “My darlings, we are not having sex next to gouda”

-Rook pulls out a bottle of wine like, “Oh it’s fine, I brought this! Let’s make it fancy.” Except, Rook and Lucanis get trashed within ten minutes. Like, not cute-drunk. We’re talking Lucanis-weeping-into-a-wheel-of-brie drunk

-Lucanis starts spiraling, pontificating about how he’s undeserving of love, of comfort, of anything that doesn’t involve stabbing people. It’s painfully awkward. A lot of “mierdas” are said

-Rook is obliterated and starts making the most cursed jokes at Emmrich. Something about necromancy as foreplay. “I can choke on your bone… literally.” Then she just starts climbing him like a tree, full-on koala mode, giggling like this is the funniest shit she’s ever said

-She calls him daddy. Emmrich is reminded of the age gap. Emmrich is not impressed

-Poor, sweet Emmrich, the bastion of patience, just sighs deeply, peels Rook off him, and tucks the two chaos goblins into bed

-Lucanis is passed out hugging a wedge of parmesan, Rook is snoring with a bottle still in hand, and Emmrich spends the rest of the night with a book, probably reevaluating all of his life choices.

[boinin]

🎶 he was mediocre, he did karaoke, can I make it any more obvious 🎶

The contrast between Otoya and Karasu's backstories 😭

Actually soulmates, they weirdly compliment each other

(psst: mzk_70 has the goods)

[blackynsupremacy]

CO-PARENTING A

PUPPY WITH COOPER

HEADCANONS

pairing: cooper koch x black!fem!reader

summary: the amazing adventures of you and your best friend, cooper koch, raising your fur-baby, daisy.

contains: fluff, crackfic, platonic relationship between reader and cooper, reader and cooper are roommates, swearing, a little bit of sadness, mention of pet death, chaotic family dynamics, nicholas is mentioned, reader has a little crush on nicholas, teasing, playful banter, playful arguments, texting: reader, cooper.

taglist: @supaprettyg @sabrinasopposite @rosiestalez @ellethespaceunicorn @tryingtograspctrl @greengoblinswifey @hnch33rios @jkr820 @simply-the-best23 @xoxoglittergossip @stereotypicalbarbie @elitesanjisimp @gxuxhdjdu

a/n: this is my first time writing for cooper, so show him some love! plus, this is my first time writing for a platonic pairing.

• you moved to l.a. to jumpstart your modeling career.

• after so many odd jobs and small scale projects, you’re finally selected to do a shoot for a designer brand.

• that’s when cooper koch enters into your life as your co-star for the shoot.

• he had to be the finest man you’ve ever worked with.

• when he first sees you, he’s already hyping you up about your appearance.

• “oh, my god, you’re gorgeous!”

• you were nervous as hell, but he swooped in and reassures you that you were the first choice for this project, so you better own it.

• from that day on, his encouragement has helped you build confidence in your looks, talents, and skills to reach your career goals.

• behind the scenes, you get to know each other better. just chatting it up as if you two knew each other your whole lives.

• you exchange numbers and social media info.

• when you return to your hotel, your phone pings to see that it was indeed cooper himself that texted you.

• when you made enough money, you were definitely going to secure your own apartment one day. it’s hard out here and you’re trying your best.

• you two start off with small talk obviously and he asks if you would like to meet for coffee, so you accept.

• it’s refreshing to move somewhere new and you already have someone to hang out with without feeling like they have ulterior motives.

• you two are like two peas in a pod.

• not to mention how much in common you guys have. music, movies, books, fashion, food, you name it.

• you just both have a different taste in men.

• you told him about your dreams of modeling and dominating the fashion world one day.

• there wasn’t so much to offer in your hometown, so you decided to board a plane, take most of your clothes, a little bit of money, and officially start a new life in l.a.

• he tells you about his love for modeling, but wants to expand to acting.

• you hype him up just as he did for you.

• “don’t forget me when you get your first oscar!”

• as the weeks go by, you’re either at shoots, working, or kicking it with cooper. whether it’d be at the park, the mall, the club, or his place.

• one day ya’ll were watching reality tv at his place and he brings up the topic of your living situation. you’re a little embarrassed, but you’ve built a trust in him during this friendship, so you spill the beans.

• “well, you can stay here as long as you need.”, he offers.

• you quickly try to deny it because it was your choice to move out here on your own and you were saving up for an apartment anyway.

• you just didn’t want to impose on his space.

• “it’s literally fine. we’re basically platonic soulmates, i have an extra room, and i like having you around, so why the hell not?”

• you gave him the biggest hug. you felt like a thousand thank you’s weren’t enough to show your gratitude.

• you obviously tell him you’re going half on the rent with your savings.

• as well as with cooking, cleaning, etc.

• within the next week, you’re settled in cooper’s guest room! you got your clothes, basic toiletries, and a key that he’s graced you with for when you come home and he’s not there.

• he’s so humble every time you tell him how grateful you are to meet him and how much more bearable this decision has been for you.

• you guys have made house rules and boundaries for yourselves and each other. there’s a big difference between being good friends and housemates.

• fortunately, you guys keep both ends of the bargain.

• it’s been about two months and you guys’ friendship is closer than ever. you’ve had your differences, but you and cooper don’t play each other! period.

• cooper has brought you completely out of your shell.

• ya’ll are chaotic.

• a real comedic duo.

• you guys argue like an old married couple sometimes.

• you’re the type of friends that steal each other’s phones and take up storage by taking the funniest selfies.

• you guys airdrop memes to each other while in the same room.

• if one of you goes out on a date, he loves to help with your hair and makeup while you help with his fashion.

• he doesn’t mind holding your handbags or buying you products for that time of the month.

• when it comes to your careers, you don’t hesitate to put each other on.

• you trust him to watch over your drink.

• you’re also acquainted with his other friends and you’ve connected with others in the business, but cooper is your day one.

• you were starting to get some footing in your modeling career. you’ve managed to shoot for some clothing brands, book a few commercials, and get your face on a billboard!

• you’re doing the damn thing.

• cooper’s been doing his thing with auditions and booking small roles here and there. you’re still hyping each other up and working hard to get your big break!

• one night when you guys were out to dinner, there was a burning question you had,

• “coop, how do you feel about dogs?”

• “i think they’re pretty cool, why do you ask?”

• “they’ve just been on my mind lately. i’ve seen them at the park, on tiktok…” you trail off for a moment.

• “i also had one coming up in my hometown, but he’s no longer with us. god, i just miss him! i don’t know if i could love something so much and then they can’t live as long as i do.”

• “oh, no! i’m so sorry for your loss, n/n! i bet that must’ve been hard for you. unfortunately, it’s the circle of life, but i know that one day you’ll get that happiness back. trust me.”

• two weeks pass since the conversation and cooper has been all in his phone. when you ask him about it, he just said that it was for an audition in another state and that he had to fly out for it in a few days.

• of course you believed him and promised to hold down the fort while he did what he had to do.

• while he’s gone, he’s been getting some packages from amazon.

• one was so huge, you had to ask the driver to help bring it in.

• you were a little confused on why cooper had so much of this stuff ordered. you wanted to so badly see what was inside the boxes, but out of respect for his privacy, you resisted the temptation.

• you were relieved when you heard the doorbell ring and saw that it was your best friend. you were going to come in for a hug, but it looked like he was holding something wrapped in a blanket.

• this man unwraps the blanket to reveal a light brown, purebred poodle puppy.

• you were shook.

• you stood there staring at cooper then at the dog then at cooper again.

• “cooper…what the fuck is that?”

• he just presents his cute, cheeky grin while cradling the dog.

• “this is daisy. she’s basically our daughter now…that’s if you’re willing to keep—”

• “shut up and just give her to me.”

• he just laughs and carefully places daisy in your arms.

• he snaps a picture of you cuddling her like she’s a newborn.

• “so, there was no audition?” you quiz.

• “nope.” he confirms.

• “and those amazon packages—“

• “things for daisy? absolutely.”

• you gaze down at the puppy in your arms and give cooper a hug of gratitude.

• you thank him a hundred times for being such a great friend. you can’t believe that he really remembered a conversation from two weeks ago and devised a whole ruse, just so he could surprise you.

• you and cooper love daisy to bits!

• she’s so tiny, fluffy, cuddly, and playful.

• belly rubs are her favorite.

• her government name is daisy elizabeth koch-l/n.

• her other aliases are daisy-waisy, dd, stink stink, baby girl, pookie, mama, and daisy girl.

• ya’ll are so clingy over her, you argue about whose turn it is to hold her.

• “cooper, you’ve been holding her for five damn minutes. give me my baby back!” you impatiently demand.

• “first of all, i just got her. second, we both know that she’s a daddy’s girl.” he sassily retorts.

• daisy is very loved and spoiled.

• you bought matching t-shirts for all three of you.

• cooper takes her out to walk in the morning.

• you take her to walk in the afternoon/evening.

• but when she needs to go, either of you take that opportunity.

• once a week, you three take a stroll through the local dog park and meet other dog parents.

• potty training her was a bit of a struggle. you’d both dislike it when she’d mark her territory on areas like your beds or the couch, but at the end of the day, she was just a baby, so could ya’ll really stay mad?

• nah.

• you both look online to get her house-broken. you determine finding the area, a bathroom schedule, her water intake, and so much more. you both do your best at home to train her before paying extra.

• after some practice, patience and progress, she was good to go! (outside that is)

• she has her own car seat, personalized pink collar, the best healthiest brand of puppy chow, treats, toys, you name it.

• cooper even got her seven pairs of pajamas a pair for each night.

• ya’ll were lucky that you guys were bringing in a bag because that, the rent, grooming, and her vet bills were piling up.

• speaking of the vet, daisy had to get her shots.

• cooper held her as the nurse did so and you could’ve sworn you saw him about to tear up when he heard daisy whimper in pain.

• they love daisy at the vet because she’s very calm, very demure, and very friendly.

• she uses her puppy dog eyes to her advantage.

• you thought that cooper was a sucker for falling for that, so you had to be the “i’m putting my foot down” parent. you could never fold.

• you took daisy to the pet store just to get her more food, nothing else!

• she hears another dog chew on a squeaky toy and she’s already trying to follow the sound. you hold on to the leash.

• “no, pookie, you already got two new toys that you haven’t played with. you can thank your dad for that.” you grumble, perusing the options.

• the louder the squeaks got, the more she tug at you. you turn to give her the “mom stare” and not just any stare, the one your mom gave you when you were coming up.

• daisy stared at you with those adorable eyes. you were trying soooo hard not to fold, so you made a compromise.

• you just got her a pup cup.

• if you go out with her and she acts like she’s got some sense, she earns one. it was beneficial for you because it was free and you got yourself a little something for being thee best dog mom.

• you would pick up something for cooper, but you were getting your lick back since he wanted to get her those toys that she got bored with.

• daisy is a little curious and sneaky.

• you bought cookies from crumbl and you stupidly put the box on the coffee table just to run out to get the mail.

• it’s not even five minutes and you walk in to see daisy munching on a chocolate chip cookie.

• in a panic, you immediately snatch the cookie away, scoop daisy, and go straight to the vet. they were grateful that you got her there so quickly, that they could treat her.

• after they treated her, she turned out to be fine and you were so relieved that it wasn’t the worst possible outcome. if anything happened to her, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself.

• you texted cooper to keep him in the loop when you guys were cleared to go home. he commended you for your quick actions, but you lowkey blame yourself.

• you know now to put any potential dangerous foods out of her reach.

• cooper likes to teach and train daisy some new tricks.

• you’d video them while she’s showing off the new skill he’s been working on with her.

• she can sit, roll over, lay down, give her paw, and shake on command.

• he gives her a treat every time.

• cooper is such a proud puppy dad.

• when one of you sneeze, daisy runs right to the rescue to make sure either of you are okay.

• when both of you are away, you have to watch her through the camera you’ve installed to make sure she’s alright. you even set out mats for her to use the bathroom just in case.

• you were so proud of cooper when he was casted in the “monsters” series. he’s worked really hard to get himself out there and you couldn’t be more proud of your best friend.

• his schedule was getting busier, so he wasn’t at home that often. daisy was starting to whine as she looked out of the window for her dad.

• you took a picture and sent it to him.

• • •

come scoop our daughter, she won’t stop crying. 😢

• • •

ughh i miss her more. she’s like the best thing that’s ever happened to me. 😭

• • •

oh so fuck me right? 😐

• • •

oh and, there’s you too. 🙄🫶🏼

• • •

you’re about to piss me off.

• • •

i would like to speak to my daughter while i still have a break, thank you! 🥱

• • •

keep playing with me before she gets a new step daddy. 🫡

• • •

cute. anyways just answer the phone when i facetime, so i can see daisy!

• cooper lights up when he comes home because when he walks through the door, daisy is already wagging her tail and running in circles.

• he actually got permission from the director for you and daisy to see him in action on set.

• the crew loves you both!

• they all want to pet or hold her with your permission of course.

• especially cooper’s fine ass co-star, nicholas chavez.

• it was hard not to have a bit of a crush on him. his good looks and charm were irresistible.

• he can’t get enough of you two.

• you laugh every time daisy is all over nicholas because cooper gets a little jealous.

• you and nicholas sometimes joke that daisy has found a new dad and with the way nicholas is built, shit, why not?

• cooper be ready to crash out.

• but all in all, you guys have a great time.

• you were just living it up in l.a. with your two best friends.