#it's basically a crackfic

[redriotingfornoreason]

If Smoker One Piece Had a Wife (pt. 2, I just figured out how to use gifs (super fun ✨))

So I think that like maybe two people liked my last post on this (shoutout to you guys) so I'm making another part (Yippee!!). I will probably add one more part after this, but I don't know yet. As always, enjoy.

Absolutely expects him to be a gentleman

Expects small gifts even if he only goes to take the trash out

Also to hold doors for her even if she insists on walking in front of him.

Expects him to throw his coat down over puddles (puddle is super small does not matter)

Expects flowers every once in a while.

Wears the pants in the relationship when it comes to the relationship (Smoker gets to be unofficial/official breadwinner)

Smoker does not remember anything about proposing, mainly because she told him to in the most indirect way possible.

Made him go ring shopping with her and told him to put it on her that night

“We’re engaged now. :3” “Huh???”

Plans wedding herself, doesn’t tell him shit about it.

Literally just saws “When you get home, put on the outfit I have upstairs and go to the dock.”

She had everything set up already

He was still late

Contrary to popular belief, Smoker does love his wife.

Keeps a picture of her in his jacket next to his heart

Probably has some dumb shit she said wrote on the back

“If you die, I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you again so you better not you fucker <3 – your favorite ankle biter”

Shows love through playing with her hair

Braiding it, but also just ruffling her hair when he’s thinking

When in bed, likes to pet her hair to sleep (helps both of them)

Keeps his wedding ring locked away when he’s at war so he never loses it. (His one real treasure when he isn’t with his wife.)

Takes pictures of things he think she would like just to show to her (could be a pretty waterfall, could be a rock just depends)

Weekly transponder snail calls because he does miss his wife a lot.

Tells her about the different things going on at the base, mentions the straw hats every once in a while (she does not know them nor does she care)

She just likes listening to his voice

Always falls asleep on call

Smoker knows this, but does it anyway. When he knows she is asleep, he says “I love you” before hanging up.

[anamelessfool]

Am I going to write a "but there was only one bed" fic is that going to be me right now

Because I'll do it! Watch me!!!

[999moreyears]

Interesting new name <3

ty ^_^ slimecicle aborted that thang. bbh is prolife asdly!

[radios-not-dead]

Casually drops the most horrifying piece of writing I've ever attempted. Full disclosure, this is absolutely unhinged.

There's also a full animation, buuuut idk if I'm ready to post that just yet

[decaflondonfog]

can’t even begin to tell you how fucking incredible it feels to go all balls to the wall and write a fic for a fandom you’ve never interacted with but for a piece of media you’ve loved for years and just go crazy indulgent with all the ridiculous details because realistically you’re the only person who will read it

[koskela-knights]

Hnggg, I'm just so overwhelmed by them 😩 In the good sense. Like overflowing with excitement and love for the Koskela brothers like you wouldn't believe 💙✨

Like I just have to get it out in one way or another: writing fic, drabbles, random rambles, making sketches or taking screenshots and rewatching their ads on YT and saving them on my laptop <33

Call me an amateur the way I adore them 💙💙

[honeybee2807]

I was scrolling through my reddit profile, looking at my old posts, when I noticed that I posted on r/dreams last year about a weird dream I had. And it was an HP related dream with PJO elements. So I thought it might be fun to paste my og reddit post here on tumblr.

Yeah ummm..... It was a very very weird dream. With a whole bunch of nonsense. I basically had a dream in a dream lmao. But it was hilarious how Albus was in denial of his love with Scorp lmfao. Like giving your friends expensive rings???

[roxyteal]

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Dave. Do you see that Gathering 1 is putting on? Have you ever heard of Among Us, Dave?

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (Oh dear lord...)

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) You need to be... You need to be an imposter.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (This can't be happening. I'm dreaming. That has to be it.)

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) I know it'll be hard for you to be sus. But I know you can do it, Dave.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (And he said all that with a straight face... How does he do it?)

Roughly a month and a half later...

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Hi I'm gonna go mess up 1 big time lmao wish me luck!! (Annnd time to mute the naysayers.) Oh Billy, hi. Wow, you look pissed.

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) YOU. YOU HAVE MADE A CRITICAL ERROR.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Uhhhhh wait hang on is this about Dave? Look I was joking with the Among Us metaphor-

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) YOU LEFT HIM ON READ. WHEN HE WAS IN DANGER.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Oh son of a bitch- Yeah okay, sorry. But I'm a busy guy, you know that!

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) REPENT FOR YOUR NEGLIGENCE.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Oh shit oh fuck oh SHIT- OKAYOKAYOKAY I'LLSAVEHIM I'LLSAVEHIM I'LLSAVEHIM

Bonus:

Dave🪛 (@THRIVE_INITIATIVE_1) You know, it's a good thing I erased the Gathering from your memories.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) What?!

Dave🪛 (@THRIVE_INITIATIVE_1) What?

[pyrriax]

hello tumblr!! footnote post for today but this one is Long so. have fun :3

[andrea-lyn]

“I’m not entirely sure if it was a purposeful act from my ex-husband, a pack bonding instinct from several of the players, or if we’re simply lucky, but Richmond happens to be the foremost werewolf-friendly team in the Premier League. Over seventy-five percent of our players happen to be lycanthropes.”

Turns out, there's a lot that Ted hasn't figured out in this world, but he's happy to learn. In this case, that means getting a crash course in werewolves and pack dynamics.

[temiizpalace]

☆┊MONOPOLY? MONOPOLY.

SUMMARY: monopoly. the game infamous for destroying friendships and relationships. it wouldn’t hurt to play a game or two, right? how do your acquaintances suffer during the game?

CHARACTERS: all dorms (+grim)

GENRE: fluff, crackfic

WARNINGS: cursing

PLATONIC or ROMANTIC, PLATONIC ORTHO + GRIM

NOTES: my sister punched me in the stomach cause i bought her property

reader gender is not specified, reader is yuu

SPENT THE ENTIRETY OF THE GAME IN JAIL

no matter what they did, no matter how many times they wished to try, they always landed in jail. even when he’s finally free after seven knows many turns, he’ll pick up a card, and it says go to jail. jeez, what did he do?! this game sucks, i don’t see the appeal. is he so much of a bad guy the game wants to keep him locked up forever? its hurting his feelings. why do you want to keep playing?? can he just quit? he doesn’t wanna play anymore. fine. he’ll keep playing. just make sure you win or else you’ll get an earful..

spoiler alert: you lose and now he’s disappointed

riddle, deuce, jack, malleus, silver

LAUGHS LIKE AN EVIL VILLAIN WHEN SOMEONE LANDS ON THEIR PROPERTY

oh dear, how poor and unfortunate are you? such a shame really. oh well! fork over the cash, prefect! it’s nothing personal, just a simple game of monopoly. you can spare a couple hundreds, couldn’t you? surely you weren’t planning on winning, right? all is fair in love and war they say! he’ll make it up to you later, but it’s just better to pay— what’s that? no money? BANKRUPT? how sad. you snooze ya lose. better luck next time, you were no match to begin with. he’ll take what’s left, thanks! much appreciated 🫶🫶

he’s just competitive he’s sorry please don’t hit him with the board please— NONO WAIT—

ace, ruggie, azul, jade, jamil, epel, idia, lilia, grim

IS HOARDING ALL THE LITTLE HOUSES

they’re so cute! not very detailed, but he can make a nice village out of them! oh. you need them for the game? can’t you use.. something else? please let him keep them. if you want them back you’ll have to pry them from his cold dead hands. here, use these thumbtacks! they basically look like houses! why’s he so attached to the tiny plastic primary colored houses from this game? unsure, but he likes em. hands off <3

if you play on the floor watch your step

deuce, cater, floyd, kalim, rook, sebek, grim

USING THEIR WAD OF MONOPOLY MONEY AS A FAN

at first, this game seemed.. childish. however, who is he to say no to victory? just look at all the currency he holds in the palm of his hand, practically basking in wealth. tsk, tsk, wipe that pouty face off of your face prefect. he’s just playing the game after all. not his fault you can’t save your money. my, my, it’s getting hot! excuse him as he fans himself off with his hundred dollar bills. he would share if he can, but it looks like his hands are full. needless to say, he is suffering from success over here.

ace, cater, leona, ruggie, azul, jade, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, ortho, lilia, grim (they all on my list. better watch themself)

BRINGS UP PERSONAL SHIT DURING AN ARGUMENT OVER PROPERTY

will bring up moments from each others past mid-argument cause they’re just petty like that. don’t look at him like that! not his fault you decided to ramble about your middle school days— HEY. DONT YOU DARE BRING UP HIS BABY PHOTOS. NO. NOT THE PHOTO. NONONONONONONONONO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pieces are in fact flung to the ground

ace, leona, azul, epel, sebek, grim

ABOUT TO FLIP THE BOARD

barely holding it together. he is this close to just grabbing the board and throwing it to the ground. he wants to tear up the currency and toss it down the paper shredder while screaming his lungs out. this game is absolutely SHIT. don’t ever bring it in his sights again, he will lose it.

riddle, jamil (depends), epel, sebek, grim

TRYING TO PLAY NORMALLY

it’s just a game guys, relax. sure, it’s not ideal, but let’s not try stabbing each other over a simple game of dice and money? seriously, it’s not that deep. as long as you’re playing together, he’s having a fun time. that’s all that really matters to him in the end! you’re having fun, he’s having fun, it’s a win-win. while chaos ensues, he’s pretty good at being levelheaded and the voice of reason so hopefully it doesn’t blow up in his face.

trey, jack, silver

A/N: monopoly almost got my cousin divorced fun game 10/10 would play again. so many fics in the draft hopefully they come out soon 🧌🧌🧌

date published: 8/20/24

© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!

[sugudoe]

⋆ ˚ ཐིiཋྀ ˚ ⋆ 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗠𝗘 𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ── ✎ ₊· 𝗷𝗷𝗸

✶ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: in desperate need of a skin, you, a talented beginner tattoo artist, decides to test your partner and his love for you in a comical way — “ can i tattoo you ? ’’

✶ 𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i’ve been drawing for a couple of days now, and this is inspired by my sibling ( a tattoo artist ) and their influence on me, cause i too wish i could tattoo myself whenever i’m bored. ALSO i know we all see geto as tough but i had to!! and nanami surprised even me but the vision is visioning, you can not deny. I KNOW you can’t do many tattoos in one setting but please it’s just for plot. divider by: @cafekitsune

✶ 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬: fluff / crackfic / smau with writing / reader has no gender / english is not my first language / there is mistakes because the app beat my ass sowwy / mentions of needles and pain / foul language / suggestive theme and horny police for nanami

✶ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gojo ﾉ geto ﾉ nanami

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

Satoru is sitting in your chair, ankles fully on display for you, but you’re actually occupied with keeping everything sanitized in the makeshift space of your boyfriend’s spacious room. He is laughing and acting tough until he hears the buzz of the machine, then he stops and gulps.

“Shit, sweets. Don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“It’s too late.” You answer with a devilish smirk, before laughing and putting the pen down. “It’s okay if you don’t want anymore, no pressure.”

Maybe it’s the combo of your puppy eyes with small pout, but Gojo falls for your antics and let you have your way in his skin, it’s takes just a few minutes before you end the drawing of the little ants crawling his ankles. He, obviously, has the limitless off, and that scares him a bit — to feel pain, see dots of his blood. But when he looks at your concentrated face, pain dissolves, and he is happy to have something permanently his made by you, his only love.

By the end, though, he grins at you and asks for another one, bigger, blue! And you make the design and ink him again, before realizing you did not gave him the Suguru cat, but you fall for his dragon. Bitch.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

Geto can see black dots in his vision when he lays belly down on the bed. He is a tough guy, been through stuff you have only an ideia about. You could guess by the minimal details and the fucking huge scar on his chest, he has been deeply cut by something. Still, he is scared of the needle you are holding.

But here he is, presenting his blank large and sexy back to you, making you rethink of doing another thing instead of the tattoo, but you have your opportunity and need to grab it.

“My love, are you ready?” You voice has the buzzing sound of the machine in the background, Suguru groans at that.

“Please, beat me to sleep.” It’s all he says before you touch his face. Before you can say anything, he talks again. “I’m fine, I think. I trust you a lot, baby.”

Suguru soon learns how soft and weightless your hand feels, because although something is burning in his back, he thinks is just you rubbing alcohol — that is until he wonders why are you rubbing alcohol for twenty straight minutes now, and then he shifts his face a bit to stare at you. He almost passed out again when he realized the tattoo is already in progress, but he is fine, and simply goes back to his original head position, before deciding to sleep.

Suguru wakes up hours later with this intricate tattoo on his upper back, he smiles and flexes his muscles on the mirror before staring at you, seeing you googling him. Yeah, if you keep looking at him like that and your hands feeling like feather, he may enjoy this whole thing — he does! By the end of the year, his whole torso is designed by you.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

Nanami presented you what could be called a slideshow of tattoos he would like to have. Basically he made a pinterest board and added you to put the tattoos you would think he look nice with (basically all you’ve seen).

By saturday, he is wearing a white shirt, showcasing his big arm’s muscles, you get occupied with a little thing before you even start to prepare the living room. Now, he has no shirt anymore.

“So, what did you choose for me, love?” His soothing voice asks you, he is sitting by your dinner table and you smile at him, showing your tablet with the many arts you made based on what both he and you liked.

“Now you pick one and we start.”

“Can I have all of them?” Oh.. “I like the art, you are so talented, love. Let me be your canvas, do what you want.” Yeah, you get occupied again in the day.

It’s nighttime when you crack your bones and look at both of your boyfriend’s arm, all inked up. He stares at you normally, no pain, no heavy breathing. He really was a punk in high school.

“So, since we already did all 12, can we finish the chest as well? I think legs would be nice too, or neck… I can have neck tattoos now!” Nanami says with a energetic voice when both of you are eating pasta later.

“Damn baby, you are getting addicted.” You sit on his lap, eyes focused on the ink all over him. “Yeah, we can do all that.”

[emmg]

I desperately need someone to write the dumbest smut-but-not-really crackfic of Rook x Emmrich x Lucanis trying to have a threesome and it’s a complete disaster:

-Rook has Emmrich wrapped around her finger. They’re in a disturbingly functional, happy relationship (what, communication? In this economy??)

-Rook convinces Emmrich that a threesome is a fantastic idea, not through seduction but via a magical PowerPoint presentation. She’s got charts. She’s done research. It’s basically an academic conference

-Her whole pitch? She knows what Lucanis likes. The dude’s got a type, and surprise: Emmrich fits the bill (as does she, if we’re being real). She probably has a venn diagram of their collective appeal. It’s disturbingly thorough

-They end up in Lucanis’ pantry-bedroom because someone (Rook) put him in charge of the location. There’s literally a wheel of cheddar next to his cot. There’s no bed

-Emmrich, the only adult in the room, takes one look and is like, “My darlings, we are not having sex next to gouda”

-Rook pulls out a bottle of wine like, “Oh it’s fine, I brought this! Let’s make it fancy.” Except, Rook and Lucanis get trashed within ten minutes. Like, not cute-drunk. We’re talking Lucanis-weeping-into-a-wheel-of-brie drunk

-Lucanis starts spiraling, pontificating about how he’s undeserving of love, of comfort, of anything that doesn’t involve stabbing people. It’s painfully awkward. A lot of “mierdas” are said

-Rook is obliterated and starts making the most cursed jokes at Emmrich. Something about necromancy as foreplay. “I can choke on your bone… literally.” Then she just starts climbing him like a tree, full-on koala mode, giggling like this is the funniest shit she’s ever said

-She calls him daddy. Emmrich is reminded of the age gap. Emmrich is not impressed

-Poor, sweet Emmrich, the bastion of patience, just sighs deeply, peels Rook off him, and tucks the two chaos goblins into bed

-Lucanis is passed out hugging a wedge of parmesan, Rook is snoring with a bottle still in hand, and Emmrich spends the rest of the night with a book, probably reevaluating all of his life choices.

[boinin]

🎶 he was mediocre, he did karaoke, can I make it any more obvious 🎶

The contrast between Otoya and Karasu's backstories 😭

Actually soulmates, they weirdly compliment each other

(psst: mzk_70 has the goods)

[blackynsupremacy]

CO-PARENTING A

PUPPY WITH COOPER

HEADCANONS

pairing: cooper koch x black!fem!reader

summary: the amazing adventures of you and your best friend, cooper koch, raising your fur-baby, daisy.

contains: fluff, crackfic, platonic relationship between reader and cooper, reader and cooper are roommates, swearing, a little bit of sadness, mention of pet death, chaotic family dynamics, nicholas is mentioned, reader has a little crush on nicholas, teasing, playful banter, playful arguments, texting: reader, cooper.

taglist: @supaprettyg @sabrinasopposite @rosiestalez @ellethespaceunicorn @tryingtograspctrl @greengoblinswifey @hnch33rios @jkr820 @simply-the-best23 @xoxoglittergossip @stereotypicalbarbie @elitesanjisimp @gxuxhdjdu

a/n: this is my first time writing for cooper, so show him some love! plus, this is my first time writing for a platonic pairing.

• you moved to l.a. to jumpstart your modeling career.

• after so many odd jobs and small scale projects, you’re finally selected to do a shoot for a designer brand.

• that’s when cooper koch enters into your life as your co-star for the shoot.

• he had to be the finest man you’ve ever worked with.

• when he first sees you, he’s already hyping you up about your appearance.

• “oh, my god, you’re gorgeous!”

• you were nervous as hell, but he swooped in and reassures you that you were the first choice for this project, so you better own it.

• from that day on, his encouragement has helped you build confidence in your looks, talents, and skills to reach your career goals.

• behind the scenes, you get to know each other better. just chatting it up as if you two knew each other your whole lives.

• you exchange numbers and social media info.

• when you return to your hotel, your phone pings to see that it was indeed cooper himself that texted you.

• when you made enough money, you were definitely going to secure your own apartment one day. it’s hard out here and you’re trying your best.

• you two start off with small talk obviously and he asks if you would like to meet for coffee, so you accept.

• it’s refreshing to move somewhere new and you already have someone to hang out with without feeling like they have ulterior motives.

• you two are like two peas in a pod.

• not to mention how much in common you guys have. music, movies, books, fashion, food, you name it.

• you just both have a different taste in men.

• you told him about your dreams of modeling and dominating the fashion world one day.

• there wasn’t so much to offer in your hometown, so you decided to board a plane, take most of your clothes, a little bit of money, and officially start a new life in l.a.

• he tells you about his love for modeling, but wants to expand to acting.

• you hype him up just as he did for you.

• “don’t forget me when you get your first oscar!”

• as the weeks go by, you’re either at shoots, working, or kicking it with cooper. whether it’d be at the park, the mall, the club, or his place.

• one day ya’ll were watching reality tv at his place and he brings up the topic of your living situation. you’re a little embarrassed, but you’ve built a trust in him during this friendship, so you spill the beans.

• “well, you can stay here as long as you need.”, he offers.

• you quickly try to deny it because it was your choice to move out here on your own and you were saving up for an apartment anyway.

• you just didn’t want to impose on his space.

• “it’s literally fine. we’re basically platonic soulmates, i have an extra room, and i like having you around, so why the hell not?”

• you gave him the biggest hug. you felt like a thousand thank you’s weren’t enough to show your gratitude.

• you obviously tell him you’re going half on the rent with your savings.

• as well as with cooking, cleaning, etc.

• within the next week, you’re settled in cooper’s guest room! you got your clothes, basic toiletries, and a key that he’s graced you with for when you come home and he’s not there.

• he’s so humble every time you tell him how grateful you are to meet him and how much more bearable this decision has been for you.

• you guys have made house rules and boundaries for yourselves and each other. there’s a big difference between being good friends and housemates.

• fortunately, you guys keep both ends of the bargain.

• it’s been about two months and you guys’ friendship is closer than ever. you’ve had your differences, but you and cooper don’t play each other! period.

• cooper has brought you completely out of your shell.

• ya’ll are chaotic.

• a real comedic duo.

• you guys argue like an old married couple sometimes.

• you’re the type of friends that steal each other’s phones and take up storage by taking the funniest selfies.

• you guys airdrop memes to each other while in the same room.

• if one of you goes out on a date, he loves to help with your hair and makeup while you help with his fashion.

• he doesn’t mind holding your handbags or buying you products for that time of the month.

• when it comes to your careers, you don’t hesitate to put each other on.

• you trust him to watch over your drink.

• you’re also acquainted with his other friends and you’ve connected with others in the business, but cooper is your day one.

• you were starting to get some footing in your modeling career. you’ve managed to shoot for some clothing brands, book a few commercials, and get your face on a billboard!

• you’re doing the damn thing.

• cooper’s been doing his thing with auditions and booking small roles here and there. you’re still hyping each other up and working hard to get your big break!

• one night when you guys were out to dinner, there was a burning question you had,

• “coop, how do you feel about dogs?”

• “i think they’re pretty cool, why do you ask?”

• “they’ve just been on my mind lately. i’ve seen them at the park, on tiktok…” you trail off for a moment.

• “i also had one coming up in my hometown, but he’s no longer with us. god, i just miss him! i don’t know if i could love something so much and then they can’t live as long as i do.”

• “oh, no! i’m so sorry for your loss, n/n! i bet that must’ve been hard for you. unfortunately, it’s the circle of life, but i know that one day you’ll get that happiness back. trust me.”

• two weeks pass since the conversation and cooper has been all in his phone. when you ask him about it, he just said that it was for an audition in another state and that he had to fly out for it in a few days.

• of course you believed him and promised to hold down the fort while he did what he had to do.

• while he’s gone, he’s been getting some packages from amazon.

• one was so huge, you had to ask the driver to help bring it in.

• you were a little confused on why cooper had so much of this stuff ordered. you wanted to so badly see what was inside the boxes, but out of respect for his privacy, you resisted the temptation.

• you were relieved when you heard the doorbell ring and saw that it was your best friend. you were going to come in for a hug, but it looked like he was holding something wrapped in a blanket.

• this man unwraps the blanket to reveal a light brown, purebred poodle puppy.

• you were shook.

• you stood there staring at cooper then at the dog then at cooper again.

• “cooper…what the fuck is that?”

• he just presents his cute, cheeky grin while cradling the dog.

• “this is daisy. she’s basically our daughter now…that’s if you’re willing to keep—”

• “shut up and just give her to me.”

• he just laughs and carefully places daisy in your arms.

• he snaps a picture of you cuddling her like she’s a newborn.

• “so, there was no audition?” you quiz.

• “nope.” he confirms.

• “and those amazon packages—“

• “things for daisy? absolutely.”

• you gaze down at the puppy in your arms and give cooper a hug of gratitude.

• you thank him a hundred times for being such a great friend. you can’t believe that he really remembered a conversation from two weeks ago and devised a whole ruse, just so he could surprise you.

• you and cooper love daisy to bits!

• she’s so tiny, fluffy, cuddly, and playful.

• belly rubs are her favorite.

• her government name is daisy elizabeth koch-l/n.

• her other aliases are daisy-waisy, dd, stink stink, baby girl, pookie, mama, and daisy girl.

• ya’ll are so clingy over her, you argue about whose turn it is to hold her.

• “cooper, you’ve been holding her for five damn minutes. give me my baby back!” you impatiently demand.

• “first of all, i just got her. second, we both know that she’s a daddy’s girl.” he sassily retorts.

• daisy is very loved and spoiled.

• you bought matching t-shirts for all three of you.

• cooper takes her out to walk in the morning.

• you take her to walk in the afternoon/evening.

• but when she needs to go, either of you take that opportunity.

• once a week, you three take a stroll through the local dog park and meet other dog parents.

• potty training her was a bit of a struggle. you’d both dislike it when she’d mark her territory on areas like your beds or the couch, but at the end of the day, she was just a baby, so could ya’ll really stay mad?

• nah.

• you both look online to get her house-broken. you determine finding the area, a bathroom schedule, her water intake, and so much more. you both do your best at home to train her before paying extra.

• after some practice, patience and progress, she was good to go! (outside that is)

• she has her own car seat, personalized pink collar, the best healthiest brand of puppy chow, treats, toys, you name it.

• cooper even got her seven pairs of pajamas a pair for each night.

• ya’ll were lucky that you guys were bringing in a bag because that, the rent, grooming, and her vet bills were piling up.

• speaking of the vet, daisy had to get her shots.

• cooper held her as the nurse did so and you could’ve sworn you saw him about to tear up when he heard daisy whimper in pain.

• they love daisy at the vet because she’s very calm, very demure, and very friendly.

• she uses her puppy dog eyes to her advantage.

• you thought that cooper was a sucker for falling for that, so you had to be the “i’m putting my foot down” parent. you could never fold.

• you took daisy to the pet store just to get her more food, nothing else!

• she hears another dog chew on a squeaky toy and she’s already trying to follow the sound. you hold on to the leash.

• “no, pookie, you already got two new toys that you haven’t played with. you can thank your dad for that.” you grumble, perusing the options.

• the louder the squeaks got, the more she tug at you. you turn to give her the “mom stare” and not just any stare, the one your mom gave you when you were coming up.

• daisy stared at you with those adorable eyes. you were trying soooo hard not to fold, so you made a compromise.

• you just got her a pup cup.

• if you go out with her and she acts like she’s got some sense, she earns one. it was beneficial for you because it was free and you got yourself a little something for being thee best dog mom.

• you would pick up something for cooper, but you were getting your lick back since he wanted to get her those toys that she got bored with.

• daisy is a little curious and sneaky.

• you bought cookies from crumbl and you stupidly put the box on the coffee table just to run out to get the mail.

• it’s not even five minutes and you walk in to see daisy munching on a chocolate chip cookie.

• in a panic, you immediately snatch the cookie away, scoop daisy, and go straight to the vet. they were grateful that you got her there so quickly, that they could treat her.

• after they treated her, she turned out to be fine and you were so relieved that it wasn’t the worst possible outcome. if anything happened to her, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself.

• you texted cooper to keep him in the loop when you guys were cleared to go home. he commended you for your quick actions, but you lowkey blame yourself.

• you know now to put any potential dangerous foods out of her reach.

• cooper likes to teach and train daisy some new tricks.

• you’d video them while she’s showing off the new skill he’s been working on with her.

• she can sit, roll over, lay down, give her paw, and shake on command.

• he gives her a treat every time.

• cooper is such a proud puppy dad.

• when one of you sneeze, daisy runs right to the rescue to make sure either of you are okay.

• when both of you are away, you have to watch her through the camera you’ve installed to make sure she’s alright. you even set out mats for her to use the bathroom just in case.

• you were so proud of cooper when he was casted in the “monsters” series. he’s worked really hard to get himself out there and you couldn’t be more proud of your best friend.

• his schedule was getting busier, so he wasn’t at home that often. daisy was starting to whine as she looked out of the window for her dad.

• you took a picture and sent it to him.

• • •

come scoop our daughter, she won’t stop crying. 😢

• • •

ughh i miss her more. she’s like the best thing that’s ever happened to me. 😭

• • •

oh so fuck me right? 😐

• • •

oh and, there’s you too. 🙄🫶🏼

• • •

you’re about to piss me off.

• • •

i would like to speak to my daughter while i still have a break, thank you! 🥱

• • •

keep playing with me before she gets a new step daddy. 🫡

• • •

cute. anyways just answer the phone when i facetime, so i can see daisy!

• cooper lights up when he comes home because when he walks through the door, daisy is already wagging her tail and running in circles.

• he actually got permission from the director for you and daisy to see him in action on set.

• the crew loves you both!

• they all want to pet or hold her with your permission of course.

• especially cooper’s fine ass co-star, nicholas chavez.

• it was hard not to have a bit of a crush on him. his good looks and charm were irresistible.

• he can’t get enough of you two.

• you laugh every time daisy is all over nicholas because cooper gets a little jealous.

• you and nicholas sometimes joke that daisy has found a new dad and with the way nicholas is built, shit, why not?

• cooper be ready to crash out.

• like, boy, BACK UP!

• that’s his daughter, the fuck?

• but all in all, you guys have a great time.

• you were just living it up in l.a. with your two best friends.

[anyasathenaeum]

Hello! I feel like I might have already requested this before your ask box was wiped, but how about a virgin!Knives x Reader smutfic?? I love how you characterized him as shy and flustered over the idea of sex in that one crackfic you wrote 😵 I hope you have a great day and life is treating you well!! You're one of my favorite writers regardless of what you write :D

A/N: Hey anon! Yes, I remember this request! I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to it, but here it is! This is my first (serious) attempt at smut with Knives, so uhhhhhhhhh please don't come for me, I tried my best. I've decided to start with some headcanons followed by the fic itself, apologies - it's long. Also, anon - thank you SO much for your comment, you're super sweet and I'm sorry I took so long to get to this. All the best! Warnings: MINORS DNI, Virgin!Knives, AFAB!reader (female terminology is used), hinting towards plants having "heats", a touch of yandere-ish behaviour (it's Knives, so not entirely surprising) penetrative sex, P in V sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), reader is submissive in this one, rough sex, marking, a little bit of a breeding kink, Knives being a Loser™, he's kinda in love with you but the fucker definitely refuses to admit it, name-calling (Knives calls reader things like "slut" and such) Word Count: 3.3k

Virgin!Knives is definitely not nearly as confident and as ruthless as he is in all other points of his life - he might seem like he knows what he's doing, but deep down? Man is SHY, but he'd rather die than have anybody realize that

Seriously, you won't ever hear him talking about sex, and he doesn't even use the word if he can afford to outside of the bedroom

When it comes to his first time, he likes to make it seem like he's in charge and like he fucks all the time, but he's literally just a hair breadth away from cumming the moment you touch him for the first time.

Would absolutely make you ride him (mostly because he has no idea what he's doing), but he plays it off with cool indifference and because he "just wants you to please him".

He tries to make up for it, trying to be more forceful or rough with his thrusts, talking dirty to you and calling you names, but it's a double-edged sword because the moment you're crying out his name and squeezing around him, he sees stars and cums WAY too soon.

Basically, Virgin!Knives is a mess and wants to seem like he's still in charge in bed, but with a few thrusts of your own, driving him deeper and deeper into you, you'd have him falling apart beneath you in moments.

But, of course, because he's not human, his stamina is INSANE and the moment he cums for the first time inside you, it unhinges him (do I sense a breeding kink???) and suddenly he's chasing orgasm after orgasm using you, and you're definitely not gonna be leaving his bed for the next few days.

Full fic below! Enjoy!

"Are you sure this is what you want, Master Knives?"

The question slipped from your lips before you could stop yourself. You just couldn't believe what you were hearing.

Millions Knives, the independent plant who you'd been working for for years, had had you brought to his chambers in the middle of the night so that he could ask you something important.

"Are you questioning me, pet?"

The way Knives glared at you, his gaze cold and calculated, made shivers course down your spine, and you quickly bowed your head.

"No, Master Knives. Not at all. I was merely surprised by your request. I apologize."

Knives simply raised his eyebrow as he continued to gaze at you, taking in your form as you stood before him. You'd initially been just some filthy human he was forced to keep around due to your utility and your skills, but over time, as much as Knives refused to admit to it, you'd grown on him. You were one of the more intelligent of your species, it seemed, and one that seemed to know its place whenever you spoke to him. But, in the end, you were still just a lowly, miserable human, part of the plague that threatened Plants across the planet.

So... why?

Why did Knives feel this... pull towards you? Why did he have to fight the urge to be near you each and every time he spotted you, the urge to tuck you against him with his wing and whisk you away, out of sight and out of reach of all others? Why did he feel rage boiling up within him whenever you smiled or laughed at something somebody else had said? A fair share of other henchmen had lost lives and limbs just for speaking to you (not that you knew that, of course - they just conveniently "disappeared" during a mission).

Beyond just those moments, Knives had also noticed... other things. A warmth that seemed to bloom from whatever part of him had brushed your skin, spreading through the rest of his body until it became full blown heat. This heat was unbearable to resist and made him feel as though it were burning him alive from the inside out, unquenchable even when he took matters into his own hands time and time again.

Knives wasn't a fool. He knew of the lust and the need to reproduce that his kind often felt, but he'd never experienced it himself ever before. Not until you showed up. But, you were part of the very thing Knives had sworn to destroy, so why did his body call to you in this way? Why did his body betray him so? What was it about you that made him feel this way?

"You heard me, (Y/N)," Knives spoke slowly and quietly, his gaze not leaving you for a moment as he lounged on his bed, "I wish for you to stay the night."

"Yes, Master Knives."

"You will not speak of this to anybody," he continued, his voice scarily level, "Or I shall ensure you are permanently silenced."

You simply bowed your head again, your heart pounding frantically in your chest.

You had always had an interest in Knives - asides from being somebody who was hired to work from him, you found him a truly interesting being. An independent plant, more beautiful than any living creature you'd ever seen before, hellbent on exterminating the human race to save his sister plants and trying to find his twin brother, another independent plant. He was always transparent of his end goal, and despite it all, you had still agreed to work for him. After all, humanity was a mess and it wasn't going to get any better - you'd seen proof of that time and time again throughout your life.

So, here you were - working tirelessly so he could achieve his goal.

Although, you hadn't expected to be summoned to Knives's chambers so late in the night, and you certainly hadn't anticipated him to wish for you to stay the night. You'd been summoned to his chambers several times in the past, sometimes for work purposes, other times simply on a whim, and you weren't ignorant of the way you felt around Knives.

His presence made you feel simultaneously safe and on edge, as if something was always just about to occur. As though there were always words hanging in the air between you two, just waiting to be spoken but never truly acknowledged.

Despite his reputation of being unforgiving and ruthless, you'd never been on the receiving end of that side of him, somehow. He could be harsh and sharp with his words and his actions, but he'd never caused you any true harm. You couldn't ignore the way your skin felt as though electricity coursed through it whenever Knives accidentally brushed against you, or the way the heat rose to your cheeks whenever you found him watching you intently. He never looked away immediately whenever you caught him staring at you, simply maintaining his gaze and ensuring to keep eye contact with you for a couple moments before looking away almost lazily, as if he'd grown bored of you. But the fact that he did it so often... could it mean?...

You didn't dare let yourself hope. It couldn't possibly mean anything. After all, you were just a human. Unworthy of him in every possible way.

And yet, here you were, summoned to his chambers in the middle of the night and told you were to stay with him overnight. Your mind was in overdrive, trying to figure out what this meant.

"W-Where am I to sleep, Master Knives?" You inquired softly, not daring to look up at him.

Knives would've scoffed and laughed had it been any other person standing before him, but this was you. His pet, of sorts. And as much as he refused to accept it, you softened him. You weakened him.

"We'll address that later, pet. Come here."

Before you could process everything, you found yourself approaching Knives's bed, stopping right before it and waiting for his commands, not wanting to overstep.

"Did I not make myself clear? Here, pet," Knives all but hissed, making it clear he wanted you right on the bed next to him.

Blushing slightly, you quickly followed his demand, crawling into his bed so you were right by his side. You could feel his gaze on you, and you risked a glimpse at his face - his expression was surprisingly calm, almost curious as he studied you as you sat there next to him on his bed.

"Don't move," Knives whispered quietly, bringing his hand up to your face.

Immediately, you froze, almost afraid to breathe.

"So obedient," you heard Knives chuckle, clearly amused, "What a good pet I have."

Without further comments, you felt Knives's fingers beginning to trace over your skin, skimming lightly over your cheeks and making his way over the bridge of your nose, then down over your lips. His touch was surprisingly gentle, more gentle than you ever thought him capable, but you remained silent as he continued his barely-there touches.

You struggled to ignore the beating of your heart and the roaring of your blood in your ears, your whole body feeling like a livewire. You had to remind yourself not to let your mind wander and make your hidden desires obvious, but something in the way Knives was watching you made you believe that he already knew of your hidden desires. You felt your face heating up even worse than before as you looked away from Knives, suddenly finding the threading of the bedding very interesting.

"I don't understand you."

Knives's sudden voice startled you, making you jump slightly as you sat there next to him. However, you remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

"Look at me, (Y/N)."

Slowly, you brought your gaze up to look at Knives, trying not to let your heart beat straight out of your chest as you did so. His icy blue gaze was steady as it trained on your face, still studying you even intently.

"What do you not understand about me?" You asked quietly, steeling yourself as you held Knives's gaze.

After a couple moments, Knives replied quietly, "I don't understand what it is about you that makes my body feel this way. How you, a mere human... are the only one who has the ability to set my soul and my body aflame. I get no rest because of you."

You felt your heart stop for a moment before it began to thunder violently in your chest, your eyes widening in surprise. There was no way that he meant what you thought he meant.

"Master Knives, I-"

"Nai."

You looked at him curiously, and Knives simply continued, "In here, I'm not Master Knives. My name is Nai. You use my name, here and only here."

"Yes, Nai," you replied softly, testing out his name on your tongue.

"I think you know why I've summoned you to stay the night, now. Don't you, (Y/N)?"

You nodded, making Nai smirk slightly, "Clever pet."

Without a second of hesitation, you felt Nai's hand cup the back of your neck, pulling you down against him and slotting his lips to yours in a passionate, lustful kiss.

You let out a small, muffled yelp as you fell forward onto him, your lips pressing against his and your eyes wide in surprise. His taste was surprisingly bright, and you found yourself melting into the kiss, eyes closing and matching his passion in the kiss within moments. You felt Nai's hands burying themselves into your hair as he pulled you on top of him, holding you close to him as he continued to kiss you lustfully, his desire for you overwhelming his typically-controlled self.

Despite the kiss being lustful and filled with desire, you found that Nai's kiss still felt as though he were holding something back. Was it simply due to him not being as invested as you believed him to be? Or was it for some other reason? Regardless, you found your hands coming up to cup Nai's face gently as you continued to kiss him, his hands resting firmly on your hips and holding you in place.

You could feel Nai's hands pressing your hips down hard against him, and underneath his robe and through your clothes, you could feel something hard rubbing against your core. A wanton moan escaped you as Nai continued to force you down onto him, getting you to grind on him as his hands guided your hips. You could feel your pussy beginning to soak through your panties, and your whole body shuddered as Nai pulled away from you, a string of spit connecting your lips together.

You watched as Nai's knives suddenly appeared from him, slowly approaching you. Your eyes widened in fear, and you tried to figure out what you'd done wrong, your whole body freezing and your blood turning to ice. However, the blades of the knives didn't touch your skin, instead the tentacles slowly working their way under your clothing, cutting piece by piece loose and letting the scraps of fabric fall from your body. The tentacles of knives glided across your skin almost tenderly, continuing their work diligently until you found yourself completely naked in Nai's bed, your clothing nothing more than strips of fabric now.

"Worry not, pet. You'll get new clothes," Nai spoke quietly, his eyes eagerly taking in your naked form.

Nai could feel himself getting riled up the moment he laid eyes on your bare skin, his cock hardening beneath his robe as he took in every part of you. You were beautiful, he supposed, for a human.

As he gazed at you, Nai couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like for him to finally take you, to stake him claim on you and to feel you around him for the first time. Of course, he'd never let you know that he'd never done any of this before, instead maintaining his façade of cool indifference and superiority, as if he'd done this so many times that it almost bored him.

Reaching out towards you, Nai pulled you back on top of him, his robe dissipating and allowing you to finally see him, his cock rock hard and throbbing, a glob of pre-cum leaking from the tip. You could see that the same plant markings that sprawled across the rest of his body were also on the shaft of his cock, as well as his tip. Just the sight of him, laid out before and below you like this and clearly wanting you, had your pussy dripping wet. You couldn't believe just how badly you wanted him inside you.

"Well? Go on, pet," Nai commanded, watching you carefully, "Please me."

"Yes, Nai."

You couldn't believe this was happening, but you found yourself feeling excited by the fact that you actually got the opportunity to sleep with Nai. As much as you wished that it could've been more than just sex, you were happy to have this, at the very least.

Slowly, you settled yourself in his lap, your hand wrapping gently around his cock and aligning him with your pussy, letting the tip just barely rest against your entrance. You were surprised to hear Nai hiss as soon as you took hold of him, feeling his body tense and feeling something warm and wet dribbling over your fingers.

"A-Are you okay?" You asked softly, looking at Nai with slight concern, hoping you hadn't hurt him or made him uncomfortable.

"Fine," Nai gritted out, "Don't question me. Remember your place, pet."

Then, suddenly, you felt Nai's hands tighten on your hips, grabbing onto you firmly before pushing you down onto his cock hard.

You let out a cry at the sudden stretch, your pussy stinging at the feeling of being split open so deeply for the first time in a long while, trying to adjust to the feeling of Nai inside you. With him sheathed inside you, you could feel just how big he was - even without moving, he was pressing against the most perfect spot inside you, pulling a whine from your lips.

"Quiet, slut," Nai growled, his hold on your hips bruising your skin as his fingers dug into your flesh.

What you didn't know was that Nai was struggling worse than you were at the moment - he'd never felt such warmth and tightness before, especially not around his cock, and he was trying so hard not to cum then and there. He hadn't expected you to feel so good around him, or for his body to be this sensitive.

However, as he held you against him, you let out a soft whine of pleasure and began to roll your hips desperately, pushing him just the slightest bit deeper into you. Nai's grip tightened on you, and he was about to growl out another command when his orgasm suddenly washed over him.

A choked "Fuck!" slipped from his lips as he involuntarily bucked his hips up into you, wanting nothing more than to bury himself into you even more than before as his seed coated your walls, painting them in white and claiming you as his in a way nobody ever really had before. You let out a moan and clutched onto Nai's shoulders as you felt the warmth spreading within your abdomen, and you couldn't help but continue to roll your hips as you chased your own release, wanting to feel more of Nai inside you.

"N-Nai, please," you whined, continuing to thrust your hips against him, "Want more... need more of you... please..."

Hearing you plead for him, for his cock, to give you pleasure made something in Nai snap.

In a flash, you found yourself laying back in the bed with Nai above you, his cock still buried inside you and still hard as ever. However, now, you could see a fire in his eyes as he gazed at you, his hand coming up and squeezing your breast. The mewl that came from you as Nai touched you made him feel more powerful than ever before, his instincts beginning to take over.

Leaning down and pressing his lips against yours hungrily, Nai began to thrust into you with urgency, his thrusts powerful and deep, pulling moan after moan from you as he continued to fuck you into his bed. He couldn't care less that this was his first time - nothing else mattered right now except for cumming inside you over and over again until you knew nothing but his name and that you belonged to him. He allowed his instincts to take over, the instinct to claim, to mate, to breed, to fill you up until it spilled from you endlessly.

"You're mine, slut. You hear me? Mine."

The growl that came from Nai made your whole body shiver, and the way he sunk his teeth into your neck and left a dark bruise to show that fact to the world made you scream out, partly from pain and partly from pleasure. You were his now, and nobody else would ever have you.

"Say it!" Nai commanded, thrusting into you harshly without stopping. "Say-" thrust "you-" thrust "are-" thrust "mine!".

"Y-Yours!" You cried out, feeling your own orgasm wash over you stronger than ever before as Nai continued to fuck you through it, "'M yours, Nai!"

"Mine!"

Nai slammed his cock into you one final time as he came yet again, filling you to the brim with cum once more. As he recovered from his orgasm, Nai continued to leave marks down your neck, your shoulders, your breasts, working his way down until he was ready to go again, wanting nothing more than to continue this until he could no longer stand it.

"Prepare yourself, (Y/N)," Nai growled into your ear, pulling your body against his hard, "You're to stay with me all night. And I'm nowhere near done."