#it's basically a crackfic

[redriotingfornoreason]

If Smoker One Piece Had a Wife (pt. 2, I just figured out how to use gifs (super fun ✨))

So I think that like maybe two people liked my last post on this (shoutout to you guys) so I'm making another part (Yippee!!). I will probably add one more part after this, but I don't know yet. As always, enjoy.

Absolutely expects him to be a gentleman

Expects small gifts even if he only goes to take the trash out

Also to hold doors for her even if she insists on walking in front of him.

Expects him to throw his coat down over puddles (puddle is super small does not matter)

Expects flowers every once in a while.

Wears the pants in the relationship when it comes to the relationship (Smoker gets to be unofficial/official breadwinner)

Smoker does not remember anything about proposing, mainly because she told him to in the most indirect way possible.

Made him go ring shopping with her and told him to put it on her that night

“We’re engaged now. :3” “Huh???”

Plans wedding herself, doesn’t tell him shit about it.

Literally just saws “When you get home, put on the outfit I have upstairs and go to the dock.”

She had everything set up already

He was still late

Contrary to popular belief, Smoker does love his wife.

Keeps a picture of her in his jacket next to his heart

Probably has some dumb shit she said wrote on the back

“If you die, I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you again so you better not you fucker <3 – your favorite ankle biter”

Shows love through playing with her hair

Braiding it, but also just ruffling her hair when he’s thinking

When in bed, likes to pet her hair to sleep (helps both of them)

Keeps his wedding ring locked away when he’s at war so he never loses it. (His one real treasure when he isn’t with his wife.)

Takes pictures of things he think she would like just to show to her (could be a pretty waterfall, could be a rock just depends)

Weekly transponder snail calls because he does miss his wife a lot.

Tells her about the different things going on at the base, mentions the straw hats every once in a while (she does not know them nor does she care)

She just likes listening to his voice

Always falls asleep on call

Smoker knows this, but does it anyway. When he knows she is asleep, he says “I love you” before hanging up.

[anamelessfool]

Am I going to write a "but there was only one bed" fic is that going to be me right now

Because I'll do it! Watch me!!!

[999moreyears]

Interesting new name <3

ty ^_^ slimecicle aborted that thang. bbh is prolife asdly!

[radios-not-dead]

Casually drops the most horrifying piece of writing I've ever attempted. Full disclosure, this is absolutely unhinged.

There's also a full animation, buuuut idk if I'm ready to post that just yet

[koskela-knights]

Hnggg, I'm just so overwhelmed by them 😩 In the good sense. Like overflowing with excitement and love for the Koskela brothers like you wouldn't believe 💙✨

Like I just have to get it out in one way or another: writing fic, drabbles, random rambles, making sketches or taking screenshots and rewatching their ads on YT and saving them on my laptop <33

Call me an amateur the way I adore them 💙💙

[honeybee2807]

I was scrolling through my reddit profile, looking at my old posts, when I noticed that I posted on r/dreams last year about a weird dream I had. And it was an HP related dream with PJO elements. So I thought it might be fun to paste my og reddit post here on tumblr.

Yeah ummm..... It was a very very weird dream. With a whole bunch of nonsense. I basically had a dream in a dream lmao. But it was hilarious how Albus was in denial of his love with Scorp lmfao. Like giving your friends expensive rings???

[roxyteal]

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Dave. Do you see that Gathering 1 is putting on? Have you ever heard of Among Us, Dave?

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (Oh dear lord...)

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) You need to be... You need to be an imposter.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (This can't be happening. I'm dreaming. That has to be it.)

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) I know it'll be hard for you to be sus. But I know you can do it, Dave.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) (And he said all that with a straight face... How does he do it?)

Roughly a month and a half later...

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Hi I'm gonna go mess up 1 big time lmao wish me luck!! (Annnd time to mute the naysayers.) Oh Billy, hi. Wow, you look pissed.

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) YOU. YOU HAVE MADE A CRITICAL ERROR.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Uhhhhh wait hang on is this about Dave? Look I was joking with the Among Us metaphor-

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) YOU LEFT HIM ON READ. WHEN HE WAS IN DANGER.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Oh son of a bitch- Yeah okay, sorry. But I'm a busy guy, you know that!

Well-Made_Account🧤 (@BILLYLĖ) REPENT FOR YOUR NEGLIGENCE.

Viktor🎭 (@VSTROBOVSKI) Oh shit oh fuck oh SHIT- OKAYOKAYOKAY I'LLSAVEHIM I'LLSAVEHIM I'LLSAVEHIM

Bonus:

Dave🪛 (@THRIVE_INITIATIVE_1) You know, it's a good thing I erased the Gathering from your memories.

Dave_Oddity!🧰 (@DAVE_82) What?!

Dave🪛 (@THRIVE_INITIATIVE_1) What?

[pyrriax]

hello tumblr!! footnote post for today but this one is Long so. have fun :3

[andrea-lyn]

“I’m not entirely sure if it was a purposeful act from my ex-husband, a pack bonding instinct from several of the players, or if we’re simply lucky, but Richmond happens to be the foremost werewolf-friendly team in the Premier League. Over seventy-five percent of our players happen to be lycanthropes.”

Turns out, there's a lot that Ted hasn't figured out in this world, but he's happy to learn. In this case, that means getting a crash course in werewolves and pack dynamics.

[autophobiastar]

Guys, My cousin knows nothing about the life series but has heard me ramble about it so much they know most of the plot and have a VERY basic understanding of some of the players personalities. So today they decided to write a Crackfic and I haven’t stopped laughing.

Peak fiction right there.

[temiizpalace]

☆┊MONOPOLY? MONOPOLY.

SUMMARY: monopoly. the game infamous for destroying friendships and relationships. it wouldn’t hurt to play a game or two, right? how do your acquaintances suffer during the game?

CHARACTERS: all dorms (+grim)

GENRE: fluff, crackfic

WARNINGS: cursing

PLATONIC or ROMANTIC, PLATONIC ORTHO + GRIM

NOTES: my sister punched me in the stomach cause i bought her property

reader gender is not specified, reader is yuu

SPENT THE ENTIRETY OF THE GAME IN JAIL

no matter what they did, no matter how many times they wished to try, they always landed in jail. even when he’s finally free after seven knows many turns, he’ll pick up a card, and it says go to jail. jeez, what did he do?! this game sucks, i don’t see the appeal. is he so much of a bad guy the game wants to keep him locked up forever? its hurting his feelings. why do you want to keep playing?? can he just quit? he doesn’t wanna play anymore. fine. he’ll keep playing. just make sure you win or else you’ll get an earful..

spoiler alert: you lose and now he’s disappointed

riddle, deuce, jack, malleus, silver

LAUGHS LIKE AN EVIL VILLAIN WHEN SOMEONE LANDS ON THEIR PROPERTY

oh dear, how poor and unfortunate are you? such a shame really. oh well! fork over the cash, prefect! it’s nothing personal, just a simple game of monopoly. you can spare a couple hundreds, couldn’t you? surely you weren’t planning on winning, right? all is fair in love and war they say! he’ll make it up to you later, but it’s just better to pay— what’s that? no money? BANKRUPT? how sad. you snooze ya lose. better luck next time, you were no match to begin with. he’ll take what’s left, thanks! much appreciated 🫶🫶

he’s just competitive he’s sorry please don’t hit him with the board please— NONO WAIT—

ace, ruggie, azul, jade, jamil, epel, idia, lilia, grim

IS HOARDING ALL THE LITTLE HOUSES

they’re so cute! not very detailed, but he can make a nice village out of them! oh. you need them for the game? can’t you use.. something else? please let him keep them. if you want them back you’ll have to pry them from his cold dead hands. here, use these thumbtacks! they basically look like houses! why’s he so attached to the tiny plastic primary colored houses from this game? unsure, but he likes em. hands off <3

if you play on the floor watch your step

deuce, cater, floyd, kalim, rook, sebek, grim

USING THEIR WAD OF MONOPOLY MONEY AS A FAN

at first, this game seemed.. childish. however, who is he to say no to victory? just look at all the currency he holds in the palm of his hand, practically basking in wealth. tsk, tsk, wipe that pouty face off of your face prefect. he’s just playing the game after all. not his fault you can’t save your money. my, my, it’s getting hot! excuse him as he fans himself off with his hundred dollar bills. he would share if he can, but it looks like his hands are full. needless to say, he is suffering from success over here.

ace, cater, leona, ruggie, azul, jade, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, ortho, lilia, grim (they all on my list. better watch themself)

BRINGS UP PERSONAL SHIT DURING AN ARGUMENT OVER PROPERTY

will bring up moments from each others past mid-argument cause they’re just petty like that. don’t look at him like that! not his fault you decided to ramble about your middle school days— HEY. DONT YOU DARE BRING UP HIS BABY PHOTOS. NO. NOT THE PHOTO. NONONONONONONONONO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pieces are in fact flung to the ground

ace, leona, azul, epel, sebek, grim

ABOUT TO FLIP THE BOARD

barely holding it together. he is this close to just grabbing the board and throwing it to the ground. he wants to tear up the currency and toss it down the paper shredder while screaming his lungs out. this game is absolutely SHIT. don’t ever bring it in his sights again, he will lose it.

riddle, jamil (depends), epel, sebek, grim

TRYING TO PLAY NORMALLY

it’s just a game guys, relax. sure, it’s not ideal, but let’s not try stabbing each other over a simple game of dice and money? seriously, it’s not that deep. as long as you’re playing together, he’s having a fun time. that’s all that really matters to him in the end! you’re having fun, he’s having fun, it’s a win-win. while chaos ensues, he’s pretty good at being levelheaded and the voice of reason so hopefully it doesn’t blow up in his face.

trey, jack, silver

A/N: monopoly almost got my cousin divorced fun game 10/10 would play again. so many fics in the draft hopefully they come out soon 🧌🧌🧌

date published: 8/20/24

© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!

[aventurineswife]

Aww, no more Yor!Reader? Well, I guess it would have been overdone eventually. 😅

How about I share an idea instead about Reader acting as a lawyer/legal consult for Aventurine? (Bouncing off of my friend’s recent obsession with lawyer characters lol.)

So, Reader is a lawyer studying the laws of various worlds. Their work laptop is full of legal texts and documents, which they use to keep track of information gained and help make sure Aventurine doesn’t step too hard on someone’s toes. coughsunliketopazonbelobogcoughs

Reader is also partially the reason why Aventurine was able to get away with attacking the Astral Express — by taking his and Ratio’s witness accounts of their “meeting” with Sunday and the power of the Order being forced on Aventurine to brainwash him on threat of death within 17 hours. (I know I saw a post pointing out how Sunday basically broke diplomatic immunity by doing this, tho I can’t remember who. 🫠) Who can say for sure that Aventurine threatening to detonate a Stellaron wasn’t the result of (him struggling against) the Order influencing him? Reader can even point out that if the Family tried to go after Aventurine, Sunday’s actions coupled with the Family’s lying about death being impossible in the Dreamscape would be grounds for a counter lawsuit.

Emphasis on Reader partially being why Aventurine got away with his gamble. Even without Reader being Aventurine’s lawyer, the IPC’s got a fuck ton of money. 😅 Reader being there just makes things a lot faster and more convenient.

Reader’s pissed about Aventurine gambling his life like that, tho. 💀

“I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL WHEN DEALING WITH [ACHERON] AND WHATAYA DO?! YOU GET FUCKING HAM-SLICED AND YEETED INTO A BLACK HOLE!!!!! 💢💢💢”

“Objection! Gambling with Your Life is Not a Legal Strategy!”

Summary: You find yourself grappling with the aftermath of Aventurine’s latest reckless escapade—one involving ham-slicing, black holes, and intergalactic legal battles. As his ever-resourceful and exasperated legal advisor, you’re left to clean up the mess while Aventurine, the ever-smug gambler and IPC executive, teases you with his charm. Beneath the banter, a glimpse of sincerity from Aventurine leaves you questioning whether there’s more to him than his reckless bravado.

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Crackfic, Lawyer!Reader, Dubious Morality, Fluff and Angst, Overworked (and probably underpaid or not) Reader, Banter and Wit, Slow-Burn Romance (implied), Reader Yelling at Aventurine (deserved tbh).

Warnings: Mild language (Reader vents a lot), Legal jargon overload, Brief mentions of violence and manipulation, Reader and Aventurine arguing, Crack-level absurdity in legal scenarios, Aventurine's traumatic backstory hinted at but not deeply explored.

A/N: Thank you for your understanding 🙏💖 and I hope you like this! This may be a bit ooc and I mostly have forgotten a lot of things so yeah🧍‍♀️

You glared at Aventurine from behind your laptop, your fingers hovering over the keyboard as you typed out yet another damage control memo. The smug blond executive lounged across from you in his plush office chair, one leg draped lazily over the armrest. His perpetual grin was as infuriating as ever, even with fresh bandages peeking out from the collar of his shirt.

"Really, darling," he drawled, twirling his peacock-feather earring, "I think you're overreacting. Things turned out splendidly, didn’t they? I'm still here, the Stellaron didn’t detonate, and Sunday's little 'dream empire' has a massive PR disaster on their hands. All thanks to your impeccable legal wizardry, might I add."

You slammed your laptop shut with enough force to make him flinch. "Splendidly?! You were HAM-SLICED, Aventurine. HAM. SLICED. And then YEETED INTO A BLACK HOLE! Do you even comprehend how many laws of physics, ethics, and basic sanity you violated in a single day?"

He chuckled, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "But you saved me, didn’t you? My charming legal champion, swooping in with airtight arguments and enough loopholes to make the Family’s lawyers cry."

"Don’t you dare flatter me right now." You jabbed a finger at him, your other hand pointing to the stack of legal briefs on your desk. "Do you know how hard it is to defend you when you keep pulling stunts like that? I had to argue in front of three intergalactic tribunals that Sunday's Dreamscape Order literally brainwashed you into threatening a Stellaron detonation!"

Aventurine leaned forward, resting his chin on his palm, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "And you did it flawlessly. Honestly, I should hire you full-time. Leave that dusty legal research behind and become my personal strategist. Think of the fun we’d have!"

"Fun?" you repeated, incredulous. "FUN?! Watching you gamble your life away every other Tuesday isn’t my idea of fun, Kakavasha."

His grin faltered for the briefest moment at the mention of his real name, but he recovered quickly, standing and striding over to your desk. "You know I can’t resist a good gamble," he said softly, his voice unusually earnest. "It’s who I am. But having you there… knowing you’ve got my back? That’s the only reason I can keep playing the game."

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden sincerity. "That’s… disturbingly sweet," you muttered. "But it doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re reckless, irresponsible, and—"

"Charming?" he offered with a wink.

"Infuriating," you finished, swatting his hand away as he tried to steal one of your pens. "Now sit down and let me finish drafting this counter-lawsuit. If Sunday or the Family tries to come after you again, I want them buried so deep in legal hell they’ll be begging for the black hole treatment."

Aventurine laughed, a genuine, unguarded sound that made your chest tighten in a way you refused to examine. "You’re one of a kind, [Name]. I don’t deserve you, but I’m keeping you anyway."

"You don’t have me," you shot back, ignoring the warmth creeping up your neck. "I’m just here to make sure you don’t get sued—or sliced—again."

"Of course," he said smoothly, settling back into his chair with a self-satisfied smirk. "But I’ll win you over eventually. It’s only a matter of time."

You rolled your eyes and reopened your laptop, trying to focus on your work. But as you typed out another legal argument to shield Aventurine from his latest bout of insanity, you couldn’t quite suppress the smile tugging at your lips.

Maybe he wasn’t entirely unbearable.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Do we know Twisted Fate’s real name, or does he have one other than TF at all?

Oh yes, his name is Tobias. Tobias Felix, actually, because he's lucky, you see.

Graves is called Malcolm Graves, by the way, and for my money "Felix and Graves" sounds EXACTLY like an 80s syndicated TV show about two men solving/committing crimes in increasingly contrived and weird ways.

Kinda show that gets a brief late-2000s revival that all the fans agree was terrible, until it gets rebooted in the 2020s and everyone complains how it got Marvel-ified and the 2000s series had REAL heart and remember how they used to use actual physical props and practical effects? It was a better time. It has 197.000 slashfics on Ao3, half of which are weird crackfics shipping the original actors and late 2000s actors together in various configurations.

Anyway, yeah, Tobias Felix. Twisted Fate is basically his stage name.

[sugudoe]

⋆ ˚ ཐིiཋྀ ˚ ⋆ 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗠𝗘 𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ── ✎ ₊· 𝗷𝗷𝗸

✶ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: in desperate need of a skin, you, a talented beginner tattoo artist, decides to test your partner and his love for you in a comical way — “ can i tattoo you ? ’’

✶ 𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i’ve been drawing for a couple of days now, and this is inspired by my sibling ( a tattoo artist ) and their influence on me, cause i too wish i could tattoo myself whenever i’m bored. ALSO i know we all see geto as tough but i had to!! and nanami surprised even me but the vision is visioning, you can not deny. I KNOW you can’t do many tattoos in one setting but please it’s just for plot. divider by: @cafekitsune

✶ 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬: fluff / crackfic / smau with writing / reader has no gender / english is not my first language / there is mistakes because the app beat my ass sowwy / mentions of needles and pain / foul language / suggestive theme and horny police for nanami

✶ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gojo ﾉ geto ﾉ nanami

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

Satoru is sitting in your chair, ankles fully on display for you, but you’re actually occupied with keeping everything sanitized in the makeshift space of your boyfriend’s spacious room. He is laughing and acting tough until he hears the buzz of the machine, then he stops and gulps.

“Shit, sweets. Don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“It’s too late.” You answer with a devilish smirk, before laughing and putting the pen down. “It’s okay if you don’t want anymore, no pressure.”

Maybe it’s the combo of your puppy eyes with small pout, but Gojo falls for your antics and let you have your way in his skin, it’s takes just a few minutes before you end the drawing of the little ants crawling his ankles. He, obviously, has the limitless off, and that scares him a bit — to feel pain, see dots of his blood. But when he looks at your concentrated face, pain dissolves, and he is happy to have something permanently his made by you, his only love.

By the end, though, he grins at you and asks for another one, bigger, blue! And you make the design and ink him again, before realizing you did not gave him the Suguru cat, but you fall for his dragon. Bitch.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

Geto can see black dots in his vision when he lays belly down on the bed. He is a tough guy, been through stuff you have only an ideia about. You could guess by the minimal details and the fucking huge scar on his chest, he has been deeply cut by something. Still, he is scared of the needle you are holding.

But here he is, presenting his blank large and sexy back to you, making you rethink of doing another thing instead of the tattoo, but you have your opportunity and need to grab it.

“My love, are you ready?” You voice has the buzzing sound of the machine in the background, Suguru groans at that.

“Please, beat me to sleep.” It’s all he says before you touch his face. Before you can say anything, he talks again. “I’m fine, I think. I trust you a lot, baby.”

Suguru soon learns how soft and weightless your hand feels, because although something is burning in his back, he thinks is just you rubbing alcohol — that is until he wonders why are you rubbing alcohol for twenty straight minutes now, and then he shifts his face a bit to stare at you. He almost passed out again when he realized the tattoo is already in progress, but he is fine, and simply goes back to his original head position, before deciding to sleep.

Suguru wakes up hours later with this intricate tattoo on his upper back, he smiles and flexes his muscles on the mirror before staring at you, seeing you googling him. Yeah, if you keep looking at him like that and your hands feeling like feather, he may enjoy this whole thing — he does! By the end of the year, his whole torso is designed by you.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

Nanami presented you what could be called a slideshow of tattoos he would like to have. Basically he made a pinterest board and added you to put the tattoos you would think he look nice with (basically all you’ve seen).

By saturday, he is wearing a white shirt, showcasing his big arm’s muscles, you get occupied with a little thing before you even start to prepare the living room. Now, he has no shirt anymore.

“So, what did you choose for me, love?” His soothing voice asks you, he is sitting by your dinner table and you smile at him, showing your tablet with the many arts you made based on what both he and you liked.

“Now you pick one and we start.”

“Can I have all of them?” Oh.. “I like the art, you are so talented, love. Let me be your canvas, do what you want.” Yeah, you get occupied again in the day.

It’s nighttime when you crack your bones and look at both of your boyfriend’s arm, all inked up. He stares at you normally, no pain, no heavy breathing. He really was a punk in high school.

“So, since we already did all 12, can we finish the chest as well? I think legs would be nice too, or neck… I can have neck tattoos now!” Nanami says with a energetic voice when both of you are eating pasta later.

“Damn baby, you are getting addicted.” You sit on his lap, eyes focused on the ink all over him. “Yeah, we can do all that.”

[emmg]

I desperately need someone to write the dumbest smut-but-not-really crackfic of Rook x Emmrich x Lucanis trying to have a threesome and it’s a complete disaster:

-Rook has Emmrich wrapped around her finger. They’re in a disturbingly functional, happy relationship (what, communication? In this economy??)

-Rook convinces Emmrich that a threesome is a fantastic idea, not through seduction but via a magical PowerPoint presentation. She’s got charts. She’s done research. It’s basically an academic conference

-Her whole pitch? She knows what Lucanis likes. The dude’s got a type, and surprise: Emmrich fits the bill (as does she, if we’re being real). She probably has a venn diagram of their collective appeal. It’s disturbingly thorough

-They end up in Lucanis’ pantry-bedroom because someone (Rook) put him in charge of the location. There’s literally a wheel of cheddar next to his cot. There’s no bed

-Emmrich, the only adult in the room, takes one look and is like, “My darlings, we are not having sex next to gouda”

-Rook pulls out a bottle of wine like, “Oh it’s fine, I brought this! Let’s make it fancy.” Except, Rook and Lucanis get trashed within ten minutes. Like, not cute-drunk. We’re talking Lucanis-weeping-into-a-wheel-of-brie drunk

-Lucanis starts spiraling, pontificating about how he’s undeserving of love, of comfort, of anything that doesn’t involve stabbing people. It’s painfully awkward. A lot of “mierdas” are said

-Rook is obliterated and starts making the most cursed jokes at Emmrich. Something about necromancy as foreplay. “I can choke on your bone… literally.” Then she just starts climbing him like a tree, full-on koala mode, giggling like this is the funniest shit she’s ever said

-She calls him daddy. Emmrich is reminded of the age gap. Emmrich is not impressed

-Poor, sweet Emmrich, the bastion of patience, just sighs deeply, peels Rook off him, and tucks the two chaos goblins into bed

-Lucanis is passed out hugging a wedge of parmesan, Rook is snoring with a bottle still in hand, and Emmrich spends the rest of the night with a book, probably reevaluating all of his life choices.

[boinin]

🎶 he was mediocre, he did karaoke, can I make it any more obvious 🎶

The contrast between Otoya and Karasu's backstories 😭

Actually soulmates, they weirdly compliment each other

(psst: mzk_70 has the goods)