#it's annoying when it's broken and then you need to go fish it out

[foldingfittedsheets]

When I worked pizza it was a rough gig. I’ve talked about getting fired but the reality was that it was ridiculously easy to get fired at that place. For that reason it was a bit hard to get attached to new hires. Until they passed the two month mark it wasn’t worth forming emotional attachments.

Enter Daisy. There was nothing wrong with Daisy, really, as a person. She just was a bit ditzy and couldn’t hustle worth a damn. For these sins the veteran staff was almost constantly annoyed at Daisy.

But she was blithely unconcerned or unaware of our frostiness. She greeted us with chirpy friendliness every day that was undeterred by our almost blatant ignoring of her. This was fine with Daisy. She’d fill the silence we left by talking our ears off about her dead beat boyfriend, whatever thought was in her head that moment, and the current drama in her friend circle.

One day we snapped. Daisy clearly needed some hazing because we were going crazy. She made herself a pizza for dinner and passed it off to the guy working the ovens, then went to the bathroom.

I don’t remember this being premeditated but all three of us left in her wake lunged for the anchovies.

See. We had anchovies on hand for the very rare occasions someone asked for them on a pizza. It was terribly uncommon but we had them. It stunk up the entire restaurant every time anchovy went in the oven so we all unilaterally loathed anchovies. We assumed Daisy would loathe them too. We poured the fish juice from the can all over her pizza.

We all then went nonchalantly about our work. Daisy’s pizza came out and I sliced it for her as she strolled over from the bathroom. She smiled and thanked me and sat with her back to us, scrolling her phone.

We waited like horrible little imps of mischief, anticipating her outraged and disgusted cries. She lifted the pizza and we leaned closer, malicious in our delight. She took a bite. She chewed. Swallowed. Took another bite.

Slowly we became transfixed. We left off all our closing clean up tasks to watch Daisy’s back as she ate her pizza with every sign of enjoyment. Our malevolence fizzes out into shock. She didn’t say a peep about the anchovy juice. The oven guy had emptied the can over her food and she was unmoved. We couldn’t look away.

We were silent as she finished and brought her plate over to be bussed. We stared at her.

“What?”

“Did you… like… your pizza?”

“It was fine.”

I broke. I was broken. This girl, this annoying cheerful girl, had broken me. “Daisy,” I said in agony, “We poured anchovy juice all over it. How did you even eat that pizza!?”

“Oh! I thought it was really salty! I don’t actually have a lot of taste buds there’s this weird thing with my nose. I really only get like salty, sweet, bitter. You guys put anchovy juice on it!? That’s so funny!”

Reader, she meant it. She thought it was hilarious that we had spiked her pizza with fish oil. She thought it was even funnier that she’d eaten it all without knowing. We all kept laughing together through closing duties, repeating “I thought it was salty!”

That was it. Daisy was part of the team. She had eaten all the malice we had toward her and come out smiling. She won. The following story took place well over a decade ago. I’m aware it contains shitty behavior. You’re supposed to realize it was shitty that’s why I wrote it.

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

~{Heyyyy, So I got reminded of an Old post of mine by one of you gremlins so you all get to deal with my bullshit now :) }~

•Everlasting Sirens•

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

When the Lantern Core connected the JL they were expecting a fight some even started to mentally prepare themselves for a battle with the newest enemy’s.

But as they were told the reason they were all pleasantly surprised, apparently a old planet that was code named “Ocean Wasteland” by the LC because of its surface where there is only one piece of land and it’s about the size of a small park is the best thing to compare it too and this planet was mostly forgotten about.

Until the LC got a reading of intelligent life on the planet and they want to send the JL to go check it out, and the JL agrees.

So now the JL [Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Green lantern, Flash, Martian Manhunter, Aquaman] were now in a submarine in the middle of a alien sea looking for anything with intelligence and it was not going anywhere.

They had been looking for about three hours now and have seen nothing but the fish of the planet but that was until they went over a very large rock formation that was mostly dark due to the placement.

Than they heard a loud shrill cry and a loud garbled scream that was the only warning before the submarine started to get hit around like a game of volleyball as this was happening the cry’s and screams continued, disorienting the JL and with how whatever was hitting them back and forth was damaging the sides it was only a matter of time before it started to break.

So the JL needed to do something about this fast but before they could do anything the muted sound of rocks being dropped to the sandy sea floor and the hitting stopped that’s when Batman gets up from where he and the rest of the JL have been thrown to the floor of the submarine and straighten the submarine out and when he does.

They find out what was hitting them. A purple and black eel like woman with a red and gold octopus like man who are now looking and hovering around a person with a long flowy black tail and mid-length white hair looking severely annoyed at the two other Alien-Mers while one of their hand stay on their…. stomach.

Oh

OH

They too close to the pregnant one!

~{I’ll probably redo this part when I have the energy}~

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Background•

When Danny took in Dans and Danis or well Dusk and Dawn as they have been renamed cores. He with Jazz, Sam and Tucker knew that Danny couldn’t hide that he was a Halfa anymore, while Maddie and Jack may be neglectful and forget about the fact they even had kids sometimes they weren’t stupid.

So the four of them made a plan, Danny and Jazz would sit their parents down and tell them everything if they reacted well they would send Sam and Tucker a text that said everything went well if they reacted badly Danny and Jazz would book it out of the house and to the bus station where Sam and Tucker would be with Go-Bags and skip town [To the Ghost Zone or Any other place whatever was safer].

But when Jazz and Danny didn’t send the signal or text, Sam and Tucker got nervous and started to walk up to the window in the room where the talk would be happening and what they saw would haunt them.

They saw Jazz on the Floor with the hole in her side still smoking and bleeding from her head and Danny with the Fentons gone and blood on the walls, Sam kicked in the back door and checked on Jazz who was breathing but not much and she was only able to say that the Fentons gave Danny to the GIW before taking her last breath.

Sam and Tucker buried her near the lake. It was one of her favorite places to hang out with them and far enough from town to be left alone, after paying their respects and giving her a proper burial they started on tracking down their love.

They had finally found Danny, They had broken into the G.I.W base farthest from town by sneaking in without anyone seeing them Does it count as seeing if they don’t live long enough to do anything with it? And search for Danny.

After about 4 minutes they find him. Danny their Love, their sweet boyfriend adores space and would gush about feeling their children’s feelings was strapped down to a metal table with three an around him cutting him open and they were trying to take their children’s cores out of him.

Sam and Tucker left that room covered in blood and gore with Danny in Sam’s arms. As they stood in the doorway checking on Danny a loud alarm went off and they could hear heavy running steps down the hall and approaching fast. And with Danny being in worst shape then they thought it would be impossible to get out.

Suddenly a green portal with purple around the edges appears in front of them and they run through as they recognize immediately who it is and they end up in clockworks tower and as the portal closes behind them some blob ghost that Clockwork likes to keep around to do small things start to bandage up Danny.

As the Blobs do that, Clockwork starts talking saying how they can never return to their world as if they do the G.I.W will just keep on going after them until they are caught or have no choice but they can’t stay in the Ghost Zone as even if Danny would have little problem staying with the need for vitamins but Sam and Tucker aren’t Ghosts yet so they can’t stay. But Clockwork has a place where could stay, it’s a planet far from any place that could hurt them and Clockwork can give them forms that help them adapt to the new location and keep each other and their children safe.

Sam and Tucker agreed.

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Little Facts•

•Sam and Tucker will find a way to drop kick anyone who gets to close to the den or Danny even in Siren form.

•When Ghost/Ghost adjacent people change to a more animalistic form they gain some of the instincts and behaviors of said animal 

•The trio sleep for most of the “Daytime” and do what they want at night, they basically become nocturnal.

•Ah yes some good old gender fuckery on Danny’s part

•Dani and Dan will be renamed Dawn and Dusk

•Sam and Tucker wanted to be in the room where Danny and Jazz told the Fentons everything but Jazz reasoned that they would have to GO if the Fentons reacted badly and already having Danny and Jazz in their was a slowing point so it was better for them too wait outside….Oh how Sam and Tucker regrets not fighting harder with her.

•Sam: Tucker=“Hun” Danny “Love”

Tucker: Sam “Azizi” Danny “Habibi”

Danny: Sam “Moonbeam” Tucker “Sunbeam”

•Sam and Tucker have a body count now :)

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Appearances•

The top half and the animal tail.

Danny’s appearance

The fabric is white and a greenish black

Sam’s appearance

The fabric is black and purple

Tuckers appearance

The fabric is red and gold

(I don’t really love the picks but it’s the best I could do so feel free to pick new one if you feel like it)

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

~{And that’s it! From how it’s written you can tell what I wrote first lol, but sorry if the story bits are weird I am running on caffeine and the will to fight god and I’m going to go to sleep, hope you gremlins liked it Byeeeeeee}~

[nanamiskentos]

regular/modern!human x true form sukuna boyfriend headcanons for fun <3 mainly for my pookie @kasukuna bc that's who i think of when i think of bf!sukuna

sees that men get their lovers cute things like flowers and chocolate and thinks its overrated. sukuna realises he needs to up his game with a romantic gesture, and thinks its cool to carve your name into a tree with his claws. you catch him picking bark from out under his dark nails.

saw that you made smoothies in the morning with breakfast and waited till you left the house to try it for himself (he always said he didn't care for them but he just doesn't want to admit). sukuna threw together a ripe banana, a loaf of bread and a whole METAL can of tuna and turned the blender on. you came home to a broken, smoking blender and a gross, banana-covered king of curses who acted like this was your fault.

no table manners, sorry. you think that the happiest you've ever seen sukuna is when you're back with the groceries and there's a raw leg of lamb wrapped up in butcher's paper. delights in the idea of a rare cooked steak, but prefers to eat them bloody.

if you study (say you're in college or university) he claims he doesn't give a flying fuck about what you learn, and doesn't understand the concept of degrees. he wonders why people just aren't allowed to practice their trade, and why they need a piece of paper first. but when you're not around, he reads through your textbooks and quotes them to you afterwards. but sukuna pretends he just already knew all that shit anyway.

absolutely no patience in the morning for lazying around. you figure a big, massive being like himself can sleep through sunrise. but he's got unblinking, freaky eyes and when you crack open your eyelids in the morning, he's already looking down at you, demanding that you get up and not waste your day. at first, you worry that he just doesn't even sleep. you need not worry about that, he can knock himself flat out like an elephant that bathed in nyquil.

you asked him to help with dinner one day. kind of annoying how sukuna's very good at malicious noncompliance. you know that he is an expert in all things sharp and weapon-like, and a kitchen knife is no exception. and yet, he decides to use his long claws to cut the parsnip, slicing through them very slowly in a way that drags and creaks agains the chopping board.

sukuna rages over mario kart and rainbow. has grown oddly obsessed with the leaderboard and claims that he will vanquish the player titled 'sixeyes1989' that keeps calling him rude names online.

thinks siri is mocking him and sulks the entire day at this automated voice that seems to not understand what hes saying. you ask sukuna to gently release the grip he has on your phone before he shatters it. again.

you mentioned something about how sweet it is that your friend's boyfriend leaves her little cute notes with love affirmations on it. the next day, you find sweeping yet scrawled foreign symbols on peeled sticky notes. turns out that his version of cute love notes are ominous, medieval runes that are protection spells against curses.

does NOT play fair in games night. sukuna burned all the monopoly money when you charged him rent for mayfair. invents random words and claim they're from his era in scrabble, and he insists they count. almost set something on fire during go fish and ate the cards. has sat on a chessboard just so you wouldn't win.

[puffin-smoke]

I like to think that at one point during their hunt for Quinn, Darlin nearly died. And I mean properly nearly died; they'd had brushes with death before, but they thought this would be the one to stick.

I can sort of imagine them just lying on their couch after dragging themself back to their apartment, the only thing they had the energy to do. They stared at the ceiling, as dark spots began to cloud their vision. Their hand gripped their side, trying to keep the blood in, but eventually just. Gave up. Went slack and fell away, letting the blood stain their shirt and the smell of iron fill the air. They liked that shirt. It'd be a hassle to clean, they thought vaguely. Maybe it was for the best. They were tired.

So they let their eyes drift shut, and let the pounding in their skull consume everything. It all hurt. It was all exhausting. They just wanted it to be over, and if over meant dying of blood loss alone in their shitty apartment, then they were fine with that.

"Hey. Hey~ hey! What are you doing?"

A small voice piped up behind them, gratingly chipper. Darlin grumbled. "Tryin' to sleep."

"But you've gotta go get healed! Come on!" The voice tried to order them, speaking with more bravado and authority they really had. Something nudged at Darlin's ribs, like a shoe poking a corpse to check for any signs of life. In response they just shifted over, burying their face in their couch cushions. Smearing blood across already stained fabric. It didn't matter, that sofa had seen worse anyway.

The pipsqueak sighed, dejected and annoyed. "Quit being stupid. Cmon, Gabe'll be pissed if you let it get any worse."

At that Darlin just laughed into the cushion. It hurt, so they stopped. "Gabe's fucking dead. He won't care. Nobody will."

"Oh." That was all for a couple seconds. For a few blissful seconds it was just the hum of their faulty lights and their heartbeat ringing in their ears.

"I miss him." The kid said into the silence of Darlin's apartment.

"Mhm." They grunted vaguely.

"Remember when he taught you healing?"

"Mhm."

They laughed, giggled, like this were all some joke that would come out in the wash. "You were pretty crappy at it."

Sitting with Gabe in the kitchen of the Shaw's house after they'd scraped their knee. Able to pull at the magic they needed in order to heal it, but useless when it came to focusing it, using it. They missed him. "Mhm."

Silence again. And then a small hand wrapped around their wrist. It tugged at them. They sagged and gave a good impression of a ragdoll, a dead fish. They didn't move and inch.

"C'mon. You can't just lie there."

They mumbled under their breath, just wanting the voice to go away. "Yes, I can."

The voice cried out indignantly, two hands now locking around their wrist and yanking with renewed force. Darlin's face lifted a few inches away from the couch, before crashing back down.

"Please get up."

Darlin's hand flew up and batted them away blindly, swatting at them like a fly, meeting only air. "Lemme alone, I'm tired."

"Come on, aren't you supposed to be the Tank? Nothing stops you!"

Darlin laughed, bitter. They sounded like a superhero. They'd always wanted to be Superman. Or like him atleast. God they'd been fucking stupid. "No. Not right now- not fucking ever. I'm not Tank."

Another desperate plea, raspy, and shrill as any of the others. "Please just get up."

Nothing. They forced their eyes shut even tighter.

Another grab and a pull. It felt so far away. "Cmon! You need to move!"

Would they ever shut up? "Please don't make me." Darlin didn't mean to, didn't want to reduce their last moments to begging like a petulant child, but their voice sounded so broken. Hoarse like an old mans, phlegmy from all the crying, scratchy from all the screaming. A lifetimes worth of screaming. Crying never came quite as easy. They repeated themself, their eyes burning. "Please just let it be over. I'm so fucking tired- please."

"No. No! You can't just let yourself di- do that!"

"But-"

"We need to see the Pack again! Isn't that the whole point of this?"

... they were right. This would all be pointless if they let themself go. They'd probably be sad. Asher would be sad. And Asher got so annoying when he was sad, with those stupid sad puppy eyes he had down to an art. Wouldn't stop until someone fixed the problem. It'd be pretty hard to fix it if they were dead.

Goddamn it. They screamed into the cushion, putting every last ounce of their frustration and rage into the deep, guttural noise until the was nothing less but a misery. A deep exhaustion and a hopelessness rooted so firmly in their core it might as well have been their since birth. But they placed an open palm onto the fabric beneath them. And, even though it felt like wading through quick sand, they opened their eyes and pushed themself upwards. They fell backwards, collapsing limply onto the back of the couch. The world was so grey.

"There ya go!" The small voice once again chipped in, and Darkin finally got to see it's owner.

It was them. A smaller version of them, with a gap-toothed smile and scruffy hair and dirt on their face. Ripped jeans and a shirt one size too big for them. A brightly coloured backpack was slung over their shoulders, a small pokeball keychain attached to one of the zips. The little wolf grinned at them, and the light of it hurt their eyes.

The little wolf hopped up to them, smiling like they'd just won an argument, and jumped onto the couch, perching on the edge. "Was that so difficult?"

Darlin rolled their eyes. Their hands, limp at their sides, began to twitch and eventually move to clasp the wound. It hurt. All of it hurt. How were they supposed to fix everything? They couldn't keep it all together, they weren't as good a healer as Marie or Gabe, they were-

The pup leaned forward and grabbed one of their hands, turning it over and opening it. They glanced towards Darlin and smiled, their voice for once soft, calm.

"You remember what he said?"

Darlin wanted to shrug but couldn't. It didn't matter anyway, the kid wasn't real anyway. They didn't care. "... that it's like riding a bike?"

The wolf snorted. "Nope, that'd be stupid. It's like knitting! You gotta take it one stitch at a time, slow and steady and allat."

Darlin breathed, and scrunched up their eyes, trying to pull upon the magic in their core like a spool of thread. It felt so far away, so heavy, it was like wading through molasses. It wasn't worth the effort, but they did it anyway. A pink glow settled around their hands, like clouds above mountain peaks.

"There you go! Guess we must've learnt a few things since then."

Darlin just nodded. They pulled a thread from the smoke, dark and thick, and moved it towards the wound. Watched it settle and the flesh begin to knit itself together again.

"Pretty-!" The wolf cooed, thumb stroking Darlin's outstretched palm. They grinned again, but it seemed forced, cautious. No sudden movements. "Thank you."

Darlin grunted and pulled another thread. And then another. And as the pain gradually ebbed and was replaced with the lethargy that healing magic brought, they felt no different. No better, no worse, just tired. But maybe the way the kid smiled at them would feel good, a while down the road. It might be nice to give them a reason to look forward to growing up. Maybe.

Probably just the blood loss talking.

[lilbardrhi]

"Broken", Not Stupid - 2: Her Name is...

Pairing: alpha!Simon "Ghost" Riley x unusual omega!OC

CW: Omegaverse; cult-like situation; dehumanization

Author's Note: My gorl, @lostintransist, needed more so I'm gonna write more.

"I'm so sorry, sir, but we don't allow full face coverings on the property," the beta female worker - Jenny, according to her name tag - informs Simon.

"I'm not wandering around without a mask of some kind," he grumbles in response. When the woman doesn't back down, but keeps smiling weirdly up at him, he sighs and rolls his shoulders. "Fine," he conceeds.

Without another word, he turns while fishing a black surgical mask from his hoodie pocket. He swaps his balaclava for the surgical mask as quickly as he can then turns back around to face her. Jenny looks ready to protest again when another beta worker - male this time - rests his hand on her shoulder.

"I'll take it from here, Jen. Go check on the omegas in the medical wing. New arrivals," he smiles warmly at her and nods.

Jenny's smile falters for a moment but it returns and she nods then walks off.

"Nice to meet you, mate. I'm Frank. Welcome to Salvation's Whitestable location. What can we do for you?"

After going through the legalities and paperwork, Simon was able to set up an appointment to meet the omegas in the facility. The soonest they were willing to schedule such was the following week. Something about not wanting to "overload the omegas since so many are curious about them and want to take them in."

It made sense on the surface, but it didn't settle quite right with Simon. Nothing he could truly do about it, though, so he signed what was needed and waited until the agreed upon day.

It'd been about a week since we'd had any visitors - which tracks, by my timing, since it seems we only get them about once a week. I find visitors annoying as all hell. They're just alphas sniffing around for a desperate omega anyway. Most of the omegas who leave are likely better off in this hell hole anyway.

At least while omegas here their needs are respected. For the most part.

When we're called out to the yard for "fresh air", I knew it was just visitors. They have us on a strict routine and don't let anyone see us inside. Claim it's too dangerous, too many places to hide and find trouble.

It's a nice day, I guess. Not super cloudy and definitely not raining, sun's out even if it gets tucked behind the clouds once in a while.

Gods, I can already smell the alphas.

My nose wrinkles and I toss an annoyed look towards the gates where the alphas are waiting for entrance. When the gate opens I roll my eyes and look away, focusing on the book in my hands instead.

"Why don't you ever engage with them?" a voice whispers from over my shoulder.

"I'm busy, 1211," I tell the younger omega flatly without looking up.

"But the alphas are here. A few of us might get to find a mate today," she exclaims excitedly before something catches her attention and she darts off.

I sigh softly and close my book. She'll likely leave today, being so close to her heat. It makes her more desirable, even if she's still loopy as hell. I pity her, honestly. This place may be weird, but at least it's known and familiar.

Well... it is for me. I've been here since they opened this facility. If I'm calculating correctly, I've been here for a full year as of today. Most omegas are out in one to two months.

"Any reason why you're camped out under a tree and not... interacting with literally anyone else?"

I jump at the sound of the man's voice and my book falls from my hands. Before I can react and save my book from the ground, a gloved hand shoots out and grabs it.

"Didn't mean to startle you," he says as he walks to stand in front of me.

My book gets turned in his hands and I slowly follow his hands up to his partially covered face. Jesus, how tall is this guy? I'm tall for an omega but this guy might as well be a damn tree! He's even as wide as one.

"Tolkien, huh?" he asks as he hands my book back.

I stay quiet but nod and accept my book. No way in hell he's not one of the alpha visitors - never seen a beta built like this - but I can't smell him.

"Not a talker?"

"Not really," I finally say.

His eyebrows twitch upward for a moment before returning to the neutral expression he's been wearing since he stepped in front of me. Probably wasn't expecting me to be American.

"Me either," he says after a moment. "Probably why I'm here, huh?"

I give him a look of confusion at that.

"I don't socialize much so I'm- nevermind," he sighs. "Mind if I stay here for a bit? There's just too much going on elsewhere right now."

"Isn't that why you're here? To find a high energy, cuddly, and loving omega?" I ask dryly. "I know a few of the girls would be ecstatic to go home with an alpha like you."

"Yeah... maybe. Until they realize what my job is and just how often I'm away from home because of it," he scoffs.

"And what is your job?" My eyes narrow as he speaks.

"I'm military," he says simply. When I don't respond, he sighs. "I'm gone a lot. Many missions require minimum or no communication. There's no rushing home from work or random phone calls."

I glare up at him, considering what he's saying. Then it hits me and I start laughing.

"Oh, man! You're a decent actor, I'll give you that. How much did they pay you? Is this a script they gave you or did you just come up with this on the fly? Bonus points for doing it on the fly, if so. I knew they were itching to get rid of me, but damn-"

"The hell are you on about? I'm not an actor."

The genuine offense in his voice makes my laughter fade.

"You weren't paid to tell the 'stupid omega who can't figure out she's an omega' that you have a lifestyle that she would fit into nicely?" My arms cross over my chest and I give him a look of disbelief.

Rage seems to filter into his eyes for a moment.

"Simon," he says, offering his hand.

My eyes fall to his hand and I hesitantly accept it.

"Nice to meet you, I guess, Simon," I test his name. "I'm known as UK-009-0013 or 13 around here."

And never anything else.

Masterlist | CoD Masterlist | Part One

Tag list: @lucienofthelakes

[sysmedsaresexist]

I thought a lot about whether I wanted to make this post

I kind of figured whether I made it or not, I was going to be seen in a bad light for this choice, but I have friends, and I'm going to miss so many of you, and I think it needs to be said

These things matter, debating, educating, correcting, connecting, sharing, all of it matters

Syscourse matters

System discourse

It doesn't just cover whether endos exist, and if you think it does, you're blind to community issues (purposefully, willfully, and consciously so)

Not everyone is capable of participating in large-scale activism, but sometimes, just saying something when you see it is enough

Standing up for something you believe in is enough

And I'm so proud of so many of you

And truly disgusted and annoyed with others

Sometimes, syscourse can be used as a tool to harm, but that's true of everything

Food, the base building block of life, can be used to self-harm, I used to use hot water to self-harm

The answer isn't to not engage at all

Stop shaming and belittling people who care, people who want to combat misinformation

I think some of you think syscourse is useless because there's always someone else jumping in to correct, but what if that never happens? Does misinformation only matter when it's in front of your face, directed at you specifically? When it's in your inbox?

Just because you hide yourself from it, often while acting like you're better than everyone else, doesn't mean it stops existing or mattering, and your lack of care and downplaying of the importance only harms other systems

(I'm thinking of so many people when I say this, so many of you act so high and mighty and are so disrespectful and dismissive towards people who care, all while benefitting from the increased awareness brought by those actually syscoursing)

I don't do this for me, syscourse is incredibly stressful, but something I still enjoy

Much like my job, very stressful, but very enjoyable, because it's possible for these to coexist in healthy ways

I did this for the community I loved so dearly, for the people I cared about, for young systems exposed to harmful concepts

I did it to help waste time while I was bored at work, or while I was travelling to pass the time, I did it for the drama, the laughs and the lolz, I did it for the vine, YOLO-- sorry, I did it because it was FUN in 90% of cases, I met so many incredible people just by talking about DID, I did it for the crazy adrenaline rush in the other 10% of cases, I did it because I like learning, and you're never too old to be better than you were, I did it to support my friends, to stand up for them, I did it because I'm passionate about learning more about my brain

No one asked me to do this, I didn't need to, I'm not a white knight savior. I did it because I had the time, I enjoyed it, and I cared.

And from the asks I've received over the years, it was appreciated

If I even helped one person, it was all worth it

And I can confidently say that I did more than that

I think the bonus round solidified in my mind whether there was a need for SAS going forward

I think I'm ready to retire and let the new generation figure it out

I did my time, I played my part, I put in my hours and passed along as many papers as I could

I like to think I made this place a bit better

As my fish army grows, I've decided that that's where my focus will be now. With 5 tanks, I have a lot less time than I did, and I'm so tired with everything I have going on with the broken leg. I have to go back in for surgery because my bone didn't completely grow back.

I think it's just time.

If anyone is interested, I'm moving to @fishandmemes where I'll live out my golden years in peace with many sensible chuckles

Asks seeking help or information should be directed to @cdd-safe-haven

I want everyone to give a huge round of applause for the mods that helped make this happen and helped my personal growth

We thank them for their dedication and hard work 🙏

I really couldn't have done this without them, it was a group effort

All that said,

[life-is-more-than-just-a-game]

♠️ What a day off of games with the aib males can look like. ♠️

A/N: Sorry, I've been absent for two days now, but for good reason. I wasn't feeling too well mentally and needed some time to myself because something happened that put me in quite a hole ... 🥲

Still, I've been thinking about what I could post here next, so I've prepared a few headcanons that define what I think a day off of games with the male characters might look like. 🙈

I hope that some of you are still around and will read through it. Feel free to let me know what you think about it or if you think any of them might have other interests! ✨

Characters: Aguni, Arisu, Chishiya, Karube & Niragi.

POV: gn!reader

Warnings: Not given.

A g u n i

It depends on what time we are in.

If the beach still exists, Aguni is often prevented from doing anything with you outside if he already occupies the number one spot.

You would have to live with the fact that you would hardly have any time just for the two of you, because someone from his troupe would always want something from him.

If he realises that this is bothering you - or he is annoyed by it himself - he will turn his boys away and say that they should leave him alone for the next 2 hours as far as possible because he has better things to do.

In general, no matter what time loop we are in, I would say that Aguni would adjust to your needs.

I have the following typical scenario in mind:

Nobody said it would be easy with you, but let's be honest: it's the Borderland, what excited yet relaxing things could you do here so far?

Aguni: "So there are no games waiting for us today. Any ideas what you want to do in our day off?"

Y/N: "Uhm ..."

Aguni: "Come on, you must have been in the mood for something."

Y/N: "Yeah, but I really don't know for what I am in the mood for ..."

If you really don't know what you want to do, he would give some suggestions.

Aguni: "We could go to the pool."

Y/N: "Too cloudy for my taste ..."

Aguni: "We can do some sports together."

Y/N: "Now your expectations are set far too high!"

Aguni: "What about fishing?"

Y/N: "Can't we just get some fresh air and go for a walk together?"

Aguni: "..."

Y/N: "..."

Aguni: "You knew very well what you wanted to do, didn't you?"

Y/N: "Without my lawyer, I won't say anything."

A r i s u

If you want to do something, then Arisu is definitely the right person.

The boy is always up for a lot of nonsense and fun activities.

This is probably also because he doesn't want to constantly think about the terrible circumstances that are happening here.

He has got used to life here, but living in constant fear doesn't get someone anywhere and only has a negative effect on oneself.

So, if he is being trapped in a world that could take his life sooner or later, he at least wants to live every day as if it were his last.

You will not regret spending time with him.

He comes up with the wildest ideas, starting with taking a closer look into the various broken buildings.

Of course, he would still be cautious of entering any places just like that- not that both of you suddenly find yourself in a game, because that's what you're trying to avoid today.

You still wouldn't be able to stop him.

Y/N: "A-Are you sure we should do this, Arisu?"

Arisu: "Nope, but you only live once, so let's check this building out- maybe we'll find some interesting things in here."

Y/N: "Would you define 'corpses' as interesting ...?"

Arisu: "Wow, you really managed to ruin my fun."

Investigating the building would include lots of laughter and piggybacks when your feet get tired from all the walking over ruins and debris.

Eventually you find out that this building was a former arcade.

You can definitely pass the time well there.

Arisu: "Would you like a game of billiards?"

Y/N: "I'm going to rip you off so bad, love."

C h i s h i y a

Listen, this boy is a damn lazy piece of shit.

When there aren't any duties don't expect him to do something special.

He has no problem putting his feet up for a day and literally doing nothing.

Feel honored if he spends his time with you at all.

No matter where you both would be, he would find ways to just doze off and relax while you - after all - lie in his arms and enjoy his closeness.

It's nice that he can do that, but you can't.

He would definitely be a great help to you.

Y/N: "We've been lying around here all day."

Chishiya: "Well realised."

Y/N: "I'm bored."

Chishiya: "Then do something."

Jokes on you, no, he wouldn't.

Making you pout is one of his favorite things to do.

Y/N: "But I wanna do something with you today since we have enough time finally."

Chishiya: "We do something, darling."

Y/N: "Idiot, that's not what I meant!"

How could he be bored if you let him get on your nerves so easily?

In contrast to you, he has something to laugh about and something to amuse himself with.

Nevertheless, he would at least agree to a compromise:

Damn, you love the nightlife.

Chishiya: "How about this? We'll use the time now to laze around and in the evening we'll take a look at the neighbourhood together and see which places are damned by games this time."

Y/N: "We don't take part in any games, our visas count enough days for us."

Chishiya: "Who said anything about taking part in a game?"

Y/N: "So, if I let you lounge around now, you will promise me to stay up late with me?"

Chishiya: "That's a deal."

K a r u b e

To me the funniest but most chaotic one.

During the day, at least.

I can well imagine that Karube and you had already planned the day ahead the evening before.

But what would life be like if everything went as planned?

The morning is pleasant. You wake up together and after a intense cuddle-round, you start your routine as usual.

Unfortunately, Karube realizes that he can't find something.

Something very important when it comes to following his routine.

In the end, it all comes down to searching your whole accommodation for his cigarettes.

Karube: "Honey, d'you know where my cigarettes are?"

Y/N: "I don't know where you put them yesterday after you got ready for bed."

I mean, when you do smoke yourself, they can be important for you too ...

If not, well, then you are a very nice and good person!

You can guess where this is going.

Y/N: "Did you found them?"

Karube: "I would have told you when that would be the case."

Y/N: "Sure you didn't throw the box away because you smoked you last one yesterday evening?"

Karube: "I know my pack of cigarettes inside out, there were at least three more in there."

You spend the whole forenoon looking for his damn cigarettes.

You turn the whole accommodation upside down.

Both of you look under every stone.

In every room.

Two times- minimum.

Now he remebers ...

Y/N: "Karube, forget it, you don't have any- ... Darling ...?

Karube: "What is it?"

Y/N: "What's that in your pants pocket ... at the back of your butt?"

Karube: "Uh-... Oh!"

Karube: "You found them! That's right, I put them straight in my jeans yesterday so I couldn't forge- hey!"

Y/N: "Yeah, I threw your boxer shorts at you!"

N i r a g i

Oh, my dearest reader-chan, please stay close to him no matter where he goes.

When he has nothing to do, he will go through the city streets looking for people to annoy.

He would look for trouble and find it- even if there's no reason for trouble, he'll just make it happen himself and find his reasons.

I don't know how, but at least you managed to stop him from taking his gun.

That's something you should be very proud of.

However, that doesn't stop him from doing anything and we know that.

So please. Stay. With. Him. Thank you!

In any case, you walk around the area together and check it out a little.

You'll talk about pretty trivial things every now and then, but that's still more pleasant than just talking to each other all the time.

When you meet someone, Niragi is ready to provoke them directly for no reason.

Thank god you had a firm hold on his hand or his arm so you could quickly drag him in another direction to avoid the innocent people.

Y/N: "Oh, look!"

Yes, you also like to pretend to see something that you would find interesting.

… In partially empty shop windows.

The nice thing is that he would still look to something you tell him to look at.

Niragi: "What the fuck should I look for?"

Y/N: "See the rocks there?"

Niragi: "You kidding me, right?"

There could actually be something interesting there.

Well, most of the times at least.

It's nearly impossible but who know?

He will touch his nose and look at you angrily- but not without laughing afterwards at your amiable stupidity.

Y/N: "OH, SEE WHAT I HAVE FOUND TH-"

Niragi: "What is it this time? Another boring and ugly stone you think it's fascinating?"

Y/N: "No ..."

Niragi: "Oh, what is it this time then?"

Y/N: "The tree there."

Damn, he loves you so much for what you are, he can't even be bothered.

[simpcityy]

My Little Spawn Pt.2 (Dadstarion X Child!Reader)

Summary: Astarion was finally free from Cazador after being kidnapped by a mindflayer but he was stuck with one annoying task, you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Baldur's Gate 3 or any of its characters.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Use of (Y/N), Cazador, language, violence, spoilers for those who haven't gone far in the game....Uhhh...I think that is all.

You sat by the river bank, looking at the fishes as everyone was once again getting ready to go back on the road. Hearing footsteps you look seeing Astarion crotch near you. “Here, drink up before anyone sees us.” He hands you a small goblet with blood.  You grab onto the silver cup and drink it all in one gulp. Astarion looks around making sure no one was watching as he wipes your mouth with his sleeve “There now we are both less cranky.” He smirks, washing the cup right away. “I feel much better now” You look at him savoring the taste of the bitter blood. “Now I promise I won’t run off!” You grin showing your sharp fangs. “Easy on the smile now, I can see your little pathetic fangs.” He boops your nose before walking back to his tent. Walking around the camp you collected some flowers near the riverbank before looking around seeing everyone has left besides Karlach. “Hey! Where did everyone else go?” You pouted walking to her. The tall woman smiles looking down at you, “It’s just the both of us, little soldier. We think it’s best if one of us stays at the camp with you. It’s dangerous out there.” She chuckles seeing you cross your arms. “But we can take this opportunity to get to know each other.” She sits down on the ground. “Hmmm…”You look at her, was she part of the game as well? You did promise Astarion you would win this game for them. “Okay!” Sitting down next to her, you look up at her “Tell me about you! I wanna know why you have a broken horn” You pointed. “That will be a tough one…let me see if I can give you the kid friendly version.” 

“Why in the hell did you accept this charity work when our goal is to get this thing out of our heads?!” Astarion frowns after Tav was done talking to Zevlor. “Hey, Halsin can be our ticket to healing us after seeing what Nettie was going to make us do. We need to rescue him.” Tav looks at Astarion, “You are welcome to switch places with Karlach and look after (Y/N)” They crossed their arms. Astarion stops whining, “ On second thought I rather do this than babysit a child.” He mutters. “You know, you two seem to know each other.” Gale began to poke. Astarion rolls his eyes “Stay out of my business will you wizard? The child must have seen me somewhere in Baldur’s Gate and felt much safer with a familiar face. “ The elf shrugs and walks around the grove seeing what he can take. Shadowheart walks around as well. “It’s going to be harder to travel with a child, the dangers we will face.” She comments “We can’t leave them either since they also have the tadpole. Poor child” She hissed something glows on her hand hurting her. Astarion ignores her, thinking back how your life is. It’s already over since Cazador made you a spawn. “Yeah…poor kid” He mutters and walks further into the Grove. 

You lay on the ground in Astarions tent, after hearing Karlachs story, you look at the sky admiring it. You wonder why didn’t papa let you step outside the big palace. He would always warn you to stay away from the windows and never step foot out of the palace. The sky was beautiful, you want to keep admiring it after you go back home. Maybe if you convince him, he’ll let you at least see it outside of the window. “Papa…Mama…” You whisper thinking back to them. Rubbing your eyes, you were met with Astarion looking down at you. “Aww did you miss me little creature?” He smirks laying down next to you. “I miss papa” Sitting up you play with his hair. “Of course papa…hmm (Y/N) what did you mean about mad like papa?” He leans on his side looking at you. You look down “I remember papa getting mad at mama…” You whisper the memory fresh in your mind. “Mama…and do you know what Cazador was mad at?” He once again began to play with your hair, a habit he’s been getting. “I couldn’t hear…they were talking very lowly but I saw papa grab mama’s neck and then he took a bite on it. I wanted to check on mama but papa said she was going to sleep and took me home with him in the big castle.” You retold the story. Astarion only watches you retold it, he hums thinking. Must have killed her in front of her and took in the child before turning them into a spawn. “ I see, I bet you miss your mother.” He looked at the sky as it was setting down. “I do but papa says she was a terrible mother…I don’t know why but I don’t want papa to get mad at me?” You play with the dirt only for Astarion to stop you. “Careful you’ll get dirty.” He sighs before looking at you. “How are you? Blood wise little spawn.” He dugs into his bag to pull out another small vial of blood. “Gimmie!” You try to reach for it only for him to pull back. “Drink a little, this should last you till the morning.” He gently tips the vial on your mouth giving half. 

The next day, Astarion sighs sitting on the ground watching you chase a butterfly as he was replaced, Karlach taking his spot. You giggle chasing the small insect. “Astarion! When will I be able to see papa?” You walk over to the pale elf. “I don’t know.” He groans “This the 5th time you’ve asked me, don’t ask me again, got it?” He fixes your shirt before seeing a hole. “Where did you get this from?” He tuts. You look down shrugging. “Children I swear.” He mutters “ I’ll patch it up tonight.” He looks at his small kit. You grinned, “Thank you!” You wrapped your little arms around his neck. He tense up, before slowly rubbing your back, “Yeah yeah, now go back to chasing this pointless butterfly.” He gently shoves you away as you run off to chase the poor butterfly. How can a little spawn like yourself make him feel different?

   Night came rolling, You were asleep on your side of the tent. Astarion looks around and sees everyone asleep. He slowly got up and walked over to the Tav leaning in before seeing them awake. “Shit…” He mutters and backs up. (The rest is history for us Astarion Fans)

You woke up to the sound of chatter. Sitting up, you noticed everyone around Astarion. Getting up, your little legs walk over clinging on to his pant leg. “ And is (Y/N) a vampire Spawn as well?” Tav looks down at you. Astarion sighs “Yes, Cazador, my old master also made them into a spawn.” He looks down at you. Hearing the name Cazador, you grin “He’s my papa!” You bounce happily. “But she’s so young” Gale looks down at you, “Will she be needing blood as well? Right away, We don’t bite out of nowhere okay?”

Astarion frowns seeing Gale already showing you manners on being a spawn. “Yeah yeah, we bite before asking, don’t we (Y/N)?” He pulls you closer to him and away from Gale. You only nodded still clinging on to his pants. “ Has she taken blood yet?” Karlach looks over to you smiling “For a little spawn they are rather adorable.” She chuckles as you get distracted chasing once again a butterfly. “Why don’t they have red eyes? Where did Cazador bite them?” Astarion goes to speak but stops as they were right. “I…I don’t know…” He looks at you before walking over  “ Come here.” He gently stops you and looks at your (E/C) eyes before looking down at your neck seeing nothing. “(Y/N) I need you to tell me the truth, where did he bite?” He looks at you sternly. You only tilt your head “Bite…he only bit mama…” Upon hearing you, his eyes widened and stood up, backing a bit. “What is it?” Tav walks over. “They are a Daywalker. Dhampire’s….You…they…Cazador…” He whispers trying to make this all sense. “When has Cazador been…involved with a human…” He whispers looking at you. “Especially to have you…” He looks down at you as you stare back at him, only one thing crossing across his mind. 

What did he get himself into

~~~~~~~~~~

Important Author's Note: Thank you so much, it seems all of you are loving this, please do be patient. This story will start off slow but all the action and more secrets will be out in the upcoming chapters. I also have another idea, what about a fic where Astarion was married to the reader before he was killed and now that 200 years have passed he sees her again. Would you guys like that? I have another Astarion Fic as well in my blog called Hunted Past so please do check that out. Thank you everyone! Stay safe and stay hydrated!

-Axie

[glossdebut]

take a bite: remastered | MYG ★ 7

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SUMMARY: Your fledgling career as a music journalist is finally going in some kind of direction that must be on the path to success. Your coworkers like you enough to invite you out on Fridays, your boss is starting to think you’re competent enough to let you score a few bylines, and you’re finally getting the hang of InDesign. All of your hard work, late nights, and complete lack of a social life are starting to pay off… Even if it all came at the expense of the longest relationship of your life. Fine. You’ve accepted the fact that romance isn’t for you, under any circumstances. You won’t risk your career for anybody. Not even Min Yoongi.

✧ SERIES TAGS: slow burn, eventual smut, eventual romance, producer!yoongi, music journalist!reader, neighbors to friends to lovers? you’ll see, reader is bad at feelings, reader is post-break up, now back and better than ever (excluding yijeong's bitchass)

✧ CHAPTER TAGS/WARNINGS: copious amounts of FEELINGS both good and bad, theatre references LOL, world-class meddler kim seokjin, yoongi being hopelessly whipped, angst, reunion sex lmao, dirty talk, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, wet and messy and from yoongi's extremely reverent pov god bless

✧ WORDCOUNT: 8.8k

✧ STATUS: complete

✧ AUTHOR’S NOTE: the OFFICIAL last chapter of the original series! AHHH! BUT MAYBE NOT THE LAST CHAPTER OF THIS ONE!

CH. 7: can you have a little trust in me?

You’re a planner, a scheduler. You keep a minimum of six to-do lists at a time. You do your best work when your week is clearly laid out for you within the confines of the neat little boxes on your calendar. So you allot yourself one day to grieve what could’ve been with Min Yoongi, and that’s it.

Your Sunday is spent wallowing, because Rina doesn’t give you any choice in the matter and you don’t have it in you to put up a fight. She seems a little bit like she’s grasping at straws on how to help you, though.

You don’t blame her. Rina had dropped everything to be by your side when your ex ended things, but the remedy for that was pretty straightforward.

There was the initial crying on your part—the intense and nauseating kind that felt like it would never stop, until Rina held you and it inevitably did. After the tears came the anger, the picking apart of every little argument you’d had with him, every quirk of his that had soured from endearing to annoying, and Rina had no problem talking shit. Anger turned into drinking, and drinking led to falling asleep in a heap together on your couch.

It didn’t magically fix the hollowness inside of you overnight, but it helped. Rina had a patented method to make a broken heart a little more bearable.

A patented method that, unfortunately, doesn’t really apply here. Your heart isn’t broken over a failed situationship. You’ve been crying, sure, but after the initial shock wore off, it’s become more of a passive sniffle than anything else. You can’t bring yourself to feel angry at Yoongi either. Confused, annoyed, disappointed, stupid—all of those you can feel just fine. But the anger just won’t come.

Desperate, Rina defaults to clichés. Cheesy movies, ice cream, face masks—the stuff straight out of a ‘How To Get Over Your Ex In Ten Easy Steps’ article in a teen magazine. She paints your nails while you stare blankly at Julia Stiles’ face on your TV. You force yourself to believe it’s helping. You have work to do, a deadline to meet. So if you need to watch 10 Things I Hate About You with Rina and cry it out to cleanse your brain of Yoongi, so be it.

You refuse to use a sick day in general, let alone because of a man, but you do grant yourself permission to work from home on Monday. Not because you’re still grieving—that’s what Sunday was for—but because you look like you’ve been run over, dumped into the river, and then fished out.

With greasy hair and puffy eyes, you set your phone to Do Not Disturb and hunker down in your bed to write your profile on Jae. Despite the burn of your laptop on your thighs, you type and self-edit for hours, pausing only to listen to your recording of Jae’s interview and transcribe direct quotes. 

You’re able to churn out a subpar first draft before you burn out around four in the afternoon. Your brain is all over the place, and as a result, the profile is nowhere near where it needs to be. But you don’t have it in you to stare at your laptop screen for any longer. 

Rina slipped out this morning and made herself scarce so you could work, so you’re alone. You decide to shower first and foremost, something you’ve been putting off for far too long, and then maybe order dinner if you want to shell out extra money towards a delivery fee. 

Stretching your legs as you stand, you use some of your few remaining dregs of energy to drag yourself out of bed and into your bathroom, finally shedding yourself of the sweatpants and shirt you’ve been wearing since Sunday morning.

Your mistake is looking in the mirror. The few marks Yoongi made on your body are only just barely beginning to fade, still dark on your skin. You trace a fingertip over a bruise he’d sucked into your breast just days before, so recently that you can still conjure a phantom of the feeling of his lips and teeth on your skin. He’d wanted you so fervently then that you’d been sure at that stupid party that he already felt what you did. That he’d just been waiting for you to catch on. 

You don’t know what you did wrong, what kind of misstep you could’ve made to make Yoongi withdraw so suddenly like he did, but you wish you could take it back.

When you finally emerge from your shower, you’re no more energized than you were when you entered. At the very least, though, you’re clean, and you decide to reward your efforts with tangsuyuk.

When you turn your phone off of Do Not Disturb, you can’t help but hope, just for a moment, that Yoongi has texted you today.

Instead, you find that Seokjin has.

[4:42] Unknown Number: This is Seokjin

[4:42] Unknown Number: If you’re not too busy, can we meet?

The anger that had been missing in action floods your senses all at once. 

Seokjin wants to meet you. Seokjin, who you’ve met once. Meanwhile Yoongi, who allegedly still wants to be your friend, can’t send you a cursory text or, god forbid, walk down the hallway to explain any of this to you.

You are not this girl. You have gone through strenuous effort to build very sturdy, very high walls to ensure that you don’t become this girl—the one who loses sight of what’s important to her for a man who will just fuck her over anyway, leave her high and dry. Disappear with no explanation. Fuck that.

If Yoongi isn’t man enough to explain himself, if he’s going to have Seokjin do it for him, maybe you’re better off without any bullshit excuse. From either of them.

You swipe out of your messages, ordering your hard-earned tangsuyuk first. Once the payment has gone through, you open Seokjin’s message again, fingers shaking as you type out your stilted reply and press send.

[5:03] You: i am too busy. and not interested.

Bitterly, you set your phone back to Do Not Disturb. The delivery driver will knock when your food is here, and you couldn’t care less about whatever Seokjin’s reply could be.

★ ★ ★

The rest of the week goes by in a blur, but now that you’re committed to feeling pissed off, you actually feel a lot better. Maybe it’s the man-hater in you.

You hyperfocus on finishing the profile, the words flowing much easier now that you’re done feeling sorry for yourself. Even when you have to write about Suga and his impact on Jae’s career, you aren’t the slightest bit thrown off. By the time you’re done, you’re confident that it’s possibly the best thing you’ve written in a long time, and when you hand it off to Rina for feedback she concurs.

On Wednesday morning, you drop the final draft off on Kevin’s desk for approval, and then spend the next few hours helping out where you’re needed. Everyone in the office is in a frenzy to get the layout of Look Here together for the next issue. You spend your day copy editing and calling sources with last minute follow-up questions. 

When all of the articles are squared away, you lurk by the design team in case they need any extra hands. In return, you get to watch the paginator type your headline onto the front cover, which is… a pretty cool moment for you.

You usually hate the week leading up to print day, but knowing that Jae’s profile is going to be on the cover, you revel in the chaos of it.

You’re slightly anxious when Kevin calls you into his office right before quitting time, but you try not to let it get to you too much. You know the profile is good.

"Y/N," Kevin says, tearing his attention away from his computer as you step into his office. It’s a good sign, you think, that he’s looking you in the eyes this time. "Sit down."

You sit, immediately tapping your foot to try and calm your nerves. "You wanted to see me?"

"I read your piece," he says, leaning forward in his chair to rest his elbows on his desk. But he doesn’t say anything else.

Um… Okay.

"And?" you ask meekly. He looks at you seriously, and your heart jumps into your throat.

"It was incredible," he says. Fuck, thank god. "You should be proud of yourself."

"Really?" you ask, your whole body relaxing all at once.

"Really," he insists. "It was well-written, informative, personal. I don’t know how you got such a secretive person to open up like that, but I hope you can keep doing it."

You blink at him. "Keep doing it?"

"You can expect more assignments like that starting next week," Kevin says, smiling at you warmly. Holy fuck. "We’re all very impressed with you. We want to give you bigger responsibilities moving forward."

"Thank you," you blurt out, unable to contain your excitement. "Thank you, I won’t let you down."

"I hope not," he hums, amused, before turning back to his computer. "Go home and get some rest. Print day tomorrow."

"I will," you say, standing up in a flash. You want to call—Rina, you want to call Rina and tell her the good news. "See you tomorrow!"

"Have a good night!" Kevin calls as you leave his office in a hurry.

As you walk back to your desk to grab your bag, it feels more like you’re walking on a cloud. Holy fuck. You were right. This piece was your breakthrough piece, and you proved yourself just like you knew you could. Nothing can bring you down right now.

★ ★ ★

As it turns out, Kim Seokjin is not the kind of guy who takes kindly to being ignored. Based on what you know about him, you probably should’ve been able to figure that out on your own. But you certainly didn’t expect him to ambush you outside of your apartment.

You spotted Seokjin sitting against your door as you made it home from work, although he scrambled to his feet when he noticed you approaching. You wondered how long he’d been sitting there waiting for you to get him. He looked like he was well-prepared to convince you to let him in, a pre-planned speech at the ready, but you didn’t give him the chance, wordlessly letting him inside.

Maybe you were still riding the high of being praised by your boss, but you highly doubted anything Seokjin could say to you would kill your good mood. If he wanted to defend Yoongi’s honor, he was welcome to try. 

Your initial impression of Seokjin was that he was boisterous, silly, and a little bit crude. As you sit across from him, all of that still seems to be true, although he seems intent on doing his very best impression of a longsuffering psychiatrist right now.

He sits primly in the armchair opposite the couch you’ve nestled yourself into, his hands steepled together in his lap as he pulls a serious face. It looks strange on him.

"I’d like to preface by saying that you and Yoongi are both being stupid."

You blink at him, taken aback, until your expression settles into something unimpressed.

"Nice start," you say flatly.

"You’re perfect for each other and why both of you are willing to throw it away so quickly is beyond me. It’s giving me a headache," he continues, rubbing at his temples as if to prove his point. "I’m going to play mediator just this once, and then it’s up to you two to figure it out for yourselves."

"Does Yoongi know you’re here?"

That makes Seokjin snort. "Are you kidding? He’d try to kill me," he says, crossing his arms. "No, he doesn’t know I’m here. But he told me what happened, and I think there are some things you deserve to know."

Yoongi told Seokjin what happened. You can’t help the scoff that escapes your lips. That’s nice for him. You don’t even know what happened. Yoongi certainly didn’t seem to feel obligated to clue you into his logic.

"Why doesn’t he tell me those things himself, then?" you ask bitterly.

"Because he’s stupid," Seokjin says, snapping his fingers impatiently. "Keep up."

"Okay," you sigh, equally impatient. You’ve changed your mind. You want to get this asshole out of your apartment as soon as possible. "We’re both stupid. What is it that I deserve to know?"

"Yoongi-yah may be stupid, but he isn’t a bad person." 

You sit up straight at that. Is he joking? "What are you, his fucking character witness?"

"I’ve been his best friend for over a decade," Seokjin snaps, clearly tired of your attitude. As if you aren’t justified in having one. "So if I am his character witness, I’m a pretty fucking good one."

You open your mouth to say something, something venomous at the tip of your tongue, but Seokjin beats you to it, holding his hand up to silence you. "Can you just be quiet for five minutes and let me say my piece? Please?"

Huffing petulantly, you shrug and lean back into the couch, gesturing for him to continue.

Seokjin visibly regroups. You watch as he sits up a little straighter, shakes off the irritation, takes a deep breath.

"For as long as I’ve known him, all Yoongi has ever wanted was to make something of himself," Seokjin starts, calmer now. "He loved making music, and he didn’t care about anything else. Least of all himself."

"I got to know him when we were freshmen in college," he continues. "I’d heard about him from classmates, seen him around, but you know Yoongi. He’s pretty tight-lipped about things, always has been. It’s one of his many faults."

You scoff, your bitterness cutting through the air. No kidding. That’s how you ended up here, isn’t it? Yoongi’s little omissions, always giving half-truths. The real reason why he ended things with you is just another one to add to the list.

"Anyway," Seokjin says, his eyes narrowing at you for a moment. "I was majoring in theatre, and I’d been cast in Into the Woods. Yoongi was volunteered by his piano professor to help with the accompaniment, and during our first rehearsal I just remember thinking to myself, ‘who is this scrawny kid who can play Stephen Sondheim with his eyes closed?’"

You wish he’d get to the point already. You’re a sucker for a good backstory, you are. It’s what makes you such a good feature writer. But you’d really like to maintain your resolve in being pissed at Yoongi, if you can help it.

"I was so impressed with him, you know? He does that. He makes everything look so easy. I made it a point to get to know him, and he opened up to me surprisingly fast. I think he needed a friend," Seokjin continues. "He told me that he was mostly there on scholarships, but he still had to work two jobs to live and pay off the tuition that he did owe. He told me that he utilized the fuck out of the production equipment on campus. He told me that all he wanted to do was make music, and for people to hear it and think it’s worth something."

Seokjin pauses for a moment, shifting in his chair.

"I think he would’ve done anything to make that happen," he says, tension in his voice. "I already didn’t like some of the things he did do, the situations he put himself in, but I think if he knew it could’ve made his dream a reality, he would’ve done much worse."

Seokjin doesn’t offer up any more information on what exactly Yoongi did, but he doesn’t have to. You gather by the grimace on his face that it must’ve been pretty bad.

"Obviously he made it anyway. You know who he is now," he says, pausing for a moment. He looks at you seriously. "That comes with its own set of issues, though."

"Like what?" you ask, disbelieving. 

You feel bad for Yoongi, you do. At least for what he must’ve went through in the past. You know what it’s like to struggle, to feel like you can’t possibly reach your goals with the resources available to you. You’re experiencing that currently. 

But Yoongi is extremely successful now. Artists trip over themselves to get a song from him because they know it’ll chart, that people will go crazy for it. His track record is that good. How hard can it be, living like that? Having people think so highly of you?

"Like people taking advantage of him at every turn," he says, his words blunt. "People pretending to care about him to get close to him. Even going so far as dating him. Long-term. Or at least as long as it takes to produce an album."

Oh.

"…Suran?" you guess, thinking back to the party Saturday night. The way Suran kept touching Yoongi, like there had been something there. Yoongi didn’t seem all that uncomfortable, but he’s got a killer poker face. Could Suran be that kind of person?

"What?" Seokjin asks, bewildered. "No, Suran was just a casual thing. He told you about Suran?"

"I met her. Saturday," you say, waving a hand dismissively. "They seemed close."

"That’s been done for years. Yoongi cares about Suran, but it isn’t like that anymore," he insists, shaking his head. "It was someone else. It’s not my place to say who, but it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Yoongi in love like that. Or at all, honestly. He brought her around all of us, which is a big deal for him. Wrote songs for her. Like, not just for her album, but for her. About her."

"What happened?" you ask despite yourself. You can feel your resolve crumbling, curiosity getting the best of you. Fuck.

"They were out celebrating finishing the album," he says. "She wanted to go for a walk after dinner. Kissed him in the middle of the street. The next morning, he woke up to pictures of it all over the internet. She’d texted him, too, breaking it off. It didn’t take much brain power to figure out she orchestrated the whole thing."

You feel a pang in your chest. As hurt as you are, you also know that Yoongi couldn’t have possibly deserved that. Nobody does.

"He threw himself into his work after that—almost never left the studio. Barely ate or showered," Seokjin says. "I had to put a stop to it. He was going to overwork himself to death, if I didn’t. I had to help him dig himself out of that hole."

You chew on your bottom lip for a moment, doing your best to ignore how much that sounds like you. How Yoongi was the one beginning to dig you out.

"That sucks," you say finally. "But I don’t see what that has to do with me."

"Come on, Y/N. You’re smarter than that," Seokjin huffs. Big talk from the man who’s been calling you stupid this whole time. "Yoongi hasn’t dated anyone since then. Hasn’t even shown interest. Until you."

"That’s not what it was, between us," you insist. "I thought, maybe…" Maybe it could’ve been, you think. You shake your head to snap yourself out of it. "But he ended it."

"Because he’s stupid," Seokjin says. "Because he got hurt, and it made him stupid, and when you asked him if he could get you an interview with Jae, he was scared that was your endgame."

What?

Yoongi thinks you were using him? What the fuck???

"I wouldn’t—" you start, but Seokjin cuts you off. 

"Why do you think I’m here?" he asks, his gaze piercing through you. "You think I couldn’t tell you were going to fall in love with him the moment I met you? The moment I saw you two together?"

Your throat tightens and you have to tear your eyes away from Seokjin. Love is a big word. One you’re not quite ready to contend with, not now.

"…I like Yoongi," you manage. You can admit that now, even if Yoongi himself never got the chance to hear it. "But just because he got hurt once upon a time, it doesn’t automatically make the way he ended things with me okay."

"Just talk to him," Seokjin pleads.

"Look, I listened to what you have to say," you say, standing up from the couch. "And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t change some things. But I don’t know if I want to talk to him, okay? Maybe it’s better that it’s ended before we got anywhere serious, if we’re both so fucked up over the past."

"Y/N—"

"Seokjin, I have work in the morning. I appreciate you coming over to tell me all of this, but I’d really like it if you left now."

You don’t give him much of a choice in the matter. He’s overstayed his welcome. You make it abundantly clear that if Seokjin doesn’t use his own two legs to walk himself out of your home, you fully intend to grab him by the scruff of his neck and drag him out yourself. 

Defeated, Seokjin stands up from his chair and makes his way to your front door. You follow close behind, shutting and locking it behind him before he can get another word in.

When you walk back to the couch, you catch Rina poking her head out into the living room. 

Shit. You hadn’t even known she was home.

Wordlessly, you sink back into the couch, emotionally exhausted. Rina sits with you, repositioning you so your head is in her lap, running her fingers through your hair soothingly. 

You both sit in silence for a few minutes, but you can practically hear the gears turning in Rina’s head. She’s been biting her tongue since Saturday night, being supportive when you needed it, but not pushing. But she was just in your bedroom that whole time, and Seokjin isn’t exactly quiet. You can only imagine what she heard. You brace yourself.

Finally, she breaks the silence.

"He can play Sondheim with his eyes closed?" she asks.

All of the tension seeps out of you at once. You should’ve known better. Of course Rina won’t push you in either direction. She’s your best friend, your Seokjin. Her loyalties will always be with you, and she knows that you need to process everything on your own. 

But she’s also a theatre kid.

"Apparently," you huff, closing your eyes.

"…That’s really hot."

You laugh, reaching up to swat at her shoulder. "Not helpful."

"What are you going to do?" she asks, her voice gentle.

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? What are you going to do? Seokjin made a strong case for Yoongi, but you’re still mad about how everything played out. You trusted Yoongi this whole time to be honest with you, but you keep being made aware, over and over, of how much he keeps to himself. You aren’t sure if you want to fight to be let in, if it’s worth it. You want it to be.

"I don’t know," you say finally.

Rina hums, continuing to stroke your hair.

"...Do you wanna watch ‘Into the Woods’?" she asks.

You snort softly, sitting up to grab the remote.

"Only if it’s the one with Bernadette Peters."

★ ★ ★

When Yoongi got his very first long-term gig as a producer, Namjoon brought him a potted plant as a studio-warming gift. 

Yoongi thought it was stupid at first, because his studio didn’t have any windows—windows would compromise the integrity of the soundproofing—so the plant would have zero chance of survival. And why was Kim Namjoon buying him a plant anyway? New headphones would’ve been better, Yoongi told him. 

But Namjoon had laughed and insisted that the plant—a dracaena, apparently—was extremely resilient. That it could still thrive in the darkness.

"That’s why I got it for you, hyung," Namjoon had told Yoongi. "It reminded me of you."

Needless to say, Yoongi became obsessed with the thing.

It was just a small little cutting, just barely starting to grow on its own, so Yoongi researched how to properly care for it and took all of the necessary steps to ensure it would succeed, even in his dimly lit studio. 

He watered it, pruned it, measured its growth. He sent Namjoon pictures of it on a weekly basis. He named it—Eodumie, thank you very much. 

It took a while, but eventually, Eodumie started to die. Yoongi didn’t know why, so he started doing research on dracaena. He’d put so much effort into helping it grow, so it only seemed sensible to figure out why things had taken a turn for the worse. Run into a problem, find a solution.

Yoongi very quickly found out that Namjoon was a little bit dumb, and that the only ‘plants’ that grow in complete darkness are mushrooms. But he still felt like he’d failed. 

When Yoongi is really upset and can’t stop turning a problem over in his head, he resorts to extremely heavy-handed metaphors to help himself make sense of things. 

So all of that is to say, Yoongi has a tendency to kill things before they have a chance to grow.

He thought, because you didn’t want a relationship, that you were safe from it. And you were, because he really was okay with being your friend. He didn’t expect any more from you.

But then you asked him if he wanted to have sex with you, and… Well, everything changed then, didn’t it? Not because he couldn’t keep things casual anymore—if that’s what you wanted, he would do it. He would try. You make it so hard for him to say no to you.

No, everything changed because Yoongi is an overthinker by nature. He’s attuned to the rhythm of the world around him, notices patterns where others don’t. Especially when he’s seen them before.

He gave you his mouth, and then you wanted more. He gave you more, and then you wanted a favor. He gave you your favor, and then Suran gave you his identity. You had your favor, and his identity, and then you were all over him, and Yoongi knows what happens next. He’s heard that song before.

Shit, Yoongi’s made that song before, unwittingly. And he’s not interested in writing another duet just for it to sour like the last one.

Metaphors, again.

The point is, he cut it off before he was in too deep. Sex complicates things. For him. It blurs the lines, and he’d much rather do you professional favors when he’s not also seeing you naked. It’s the only way he can keep being your friend, and that’s what you want.

Seokjin thinks he’s being an idiot. Seokjin can suck his cock. Yoongi was doing what he thought was right.

He hadn’t expected to hear from you. Over the past week he’d thought about reaching out and explaining himself every day. But he wanted to give you space, maybe. Or maybe he still felt a little sore about the whole thing. But then, Friday night, you text him asking him to come over and…  

Now he’s in your apartment.

In all of the weeks he’s known you, Yoongi has never actually been inside your apartment before, he realizes. Is that weird? The closest he’d been was when he picked you up for the party on Saturday. When he’d lingered in your doorway, looking at you in your pretty dress. Fuck, you looked good. He didn’t want to go to that dumb party in the first place, but you in that dress… He wanted to drag you down the hall, get you in his bed. Take it off of you with his teeth. 

It’s devastating that now that Yoongi is finally here, you seem so stiff in his presence. Quiet. Unlike yourself. You’re sitting as far as humanly possible from him on your couch, and Yoongi feels like an asshole. Even when you were literally a stranger, you didn’t feel like this much of a stranger to him. It was instant, the way you’d hit it off. Did Yoongi really make things this way?

"I read your article," he says, cutting through the silence. Neither of you have spoken since he came in, and the tension is making him antsy. Desperate to break the ice.

What he doesn’t tell you is that he read your article the second it came out this morning, that he’s had alerts on his phone for everything published under your name since the day after he met you. That he drops everything to read it all, no matter what he’s doing.

It was beautiful. It was about one of his closest colleagues, so of course he thinks so, but you have such a way with words. It’s another thing you have in common, he thinks. You both have difficulty saying what you feel out loud, but when it comes to work, when you’re writing, it just pours out of you.

"You read my article," you repeat softly, scoffing. Yoongi can’t read the expression on your face, and that bothers him to no end.

"Of course I did," he replies, brow furrowing in confusion. "I always do. Especially this one."

"We need to talk," you say suddenly. He watches as you turn your body on the couch, pulling your legs to your chest to face him.

"Okay."

"I need to talk," you correct, voice tight. You take a breath, and then, "Seokjin came over the other night."

Seokjin… Oh.

Oh, Yoongi’s going to kill him. Brutally. He told Seokjin to keep his nose out of his fucking business and instead of listening and staying out of it, he came over to your apartment? Is he insane? Yoongi’s always thought so, in a mostly loving way, but this is a whole new level of intrusion that he didn’t think Seokjin was capable of, and now he has to die.

"He came here? He had no right—"

"It’s fine," you say, waving a hand. Yoongi’s unconvinced, but he forces himself to settle, to take a breath. You said you needed to talk, and he’s going to let you. "Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to text you, so… It’s probably good that he did."

Yoongi doesn’t see how that could possibly be the case, but he stays quiet. Waits for you to find the right words. 

"This whole past week, I’ve been so… confused," you start, your eyes fixed on the couch cushion between the two of you. "Confused, and mad at you."

"I still am, I think," you continue, lifting your head to look at him. "Mad at you. But I don’t want to be, because I miss you. You said that you still wanted to be friends, but you haven’t exactly put in much of an effort to do that."

"I wanted to give you space," Yoongi says. His excuse sounds hollow, even to his own ears.

You shake your head. "You don’t trust me."

"It’s not that, I just—"

"Let me talk," you snap, and Yoongi’s mouth closes so fast he can hear the click of it. "You don’t trust me, and that’s fine. I get it. But if me asking you for help bothered you so much, you could’ve just told me no instead of assuming that I was using you as some kind of stepping stone and then just breaking things off without explaining."

There’s nothing Yoongi can say to that. He knows you’re right. He should’ve just said no the second he felt uncomfortable, but it was just so important to you he couldn’t bring himself to disappoint you.

Ironic.

"I get why your brain immediately went there, but I’m not going to apologize or act guilty or anything like that. Because I wasn’t using you," you say firmly, crossing your arms. "Shit, Yoongi, all the times you’ve offered to help me I’ve tried to stop you. My car? But then the one time I come to you first, you assume the worst and shut me out. It’s not fair."

"I know," Yoongi says, looking down at his hands. "I’m sorry."

He feels like the world’s biggest piece of shit. For someone usually so observant, he suddenly feels like he’s been blind this whole time. You’ve done nothing but be upfront with him about what you wanted, and still he assumed you were pulling one over on him. He’s spent the past week feeling justified, feeling like he’d done the right thing, but your words have made his entire mindset shift in an instant.

"The night of the party, I…" you trail off. And then you laugh, which makes Yoongi look back up at you. "Jae told me you must like me. He said that you hadn’t been to an industry event in years. That you’re not the type to say yes easily when people ask you for a favor. I didn’t know that."

"It was important to you," he mumbles, sheepish. He didn’t know Jae had said anything about him to you. Looking back now, he realizes how stupid that is. His friends are all world-class meddlers. Clearly they need to be, if Yoongi’s this fucking dense.

"See? That right there," you say, frustrated. "I thought, maybe… I thought you had feelings for me. Non-platonic, romantic feelings. And for the first time since my ex… Did I ever tell you what happened with him?" you ask.

Yoongi had read between the lines. He knew that your ex had a problem with how demanding your job was, and that it’d ended badly, but beyond that he doesn’t know any details.

He shakes his head.

"We were together for almost four years. Almost all through college," you start. "He met my parents. I met his. After we graduated, we moved in together. In this apartment, actually."

Yoongi watches you glance around your living room. He knows that look. Years later, he still remembers what his apartment, his studio looked like when they were occupied by someone else. He remembers every detail. 

"I thought we were going to get married eventually. We’d talked about it." You pull your knees tighter to your chest, looking down. "I got my first job at some shitty newspaper. I worked insane hours and it barely paid anything, but it was a start. I was over the moon about it."

He holds his breath, waiting for what he knows comes next. 

"He broke up with me after two months," you say, your voice wavering. "He said it was because he barely saw me, that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me if my job was going to be more important than us. It took him less than a week to move out. Four years down the drain."

Fuck. It’s awful, watching you relive your pain and not being able to do anything but listen. Because Yoongi hurt you, too. He’s the reason you’re digging this up, that you’re feeling it all over again.

Yoongi looks down, picks at his left thumbnail as he listens. He can’t bring himself to look at you.

Your ex is an idiot, he thinks bitterly. How could someone spend four years watching the way you glow when you talk about your work and throw that away?

"I blamed myself. Why wouldn’t I? He told me it was my fault," you say. "I haven’t been interested in a relationship since. Why try if I clearly don’t have time for it? The thought of you having feelings for me…"

He hears you suck in a breath, braces himself. He thought he’d done a good job of hiding how he felt about you, even after the sex. But he’d made you uncomfortable anyway. Of course.

"It made me want to try," you say softly.

Yoongi’s head snaps up, his eyes meeting yours. It’s almost insane, the way his heart starts racing in his chest at just the slightest glimmer of hope. You realized how he felt—feels—about you, and you wanted to try? He wants to interrupt you, to ask what that means, but he holds his tongue. 

"I think maybe I’ve had feelings for you this whole time," you continue, looking down at your knees again. "And I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. But when Jae told me all of that… I mean, fuck, Yoongi. We weren’t even speaking and you read my article. You helped me even though you thought I was just using you to get ahead. When I hadn’t seen you for weeks, instead of thinking I was a bad friend, you offered up your studio so we could work in complete silence together."

He would do anything. He would do anything to see you glow. That first night in that horrible western bar you’d both been dragged to, the way you puffed up with pride when you told him where you work—that’s all he ever wants to see.

"I was going to tell you," you say. "After the party, I was going to tell you. But then you ended things, and I… I didn’t know why."

Yoongi needs to salvage this. He needs to know if there’s anything left, if you could ever forgive him for being such a stupid, prideful ass. He hopes.

"Y/N…" he starts, but you cut him off.

"You do this thing where you only give me half-truths about shit, and it drives me crazy," you say, pointing a finger at him in frustration. "All of the secrecy about your job, who you are, how close you are to Jae, why you ended things with us. It seriously makes me want to kill you sometimes."

You’re right. He prides himself on being an honest person, but he kept things from you on purpose. He didn’t want to let you in fully, to let you see him. He didn’t want to get hurt. But none of that was worth hurting you. He’s going to fix this. He’s going to try. 

"Then let me clear some things up," Yoongi says, sitting up straighter. 

He scoots closer, closing some of the space between you on the couch.

Yoongi has never been good at talking about his feelings, not out loud. In songs that will ultimately be sung by other people, sure, but doing it like this makes him squeamish. He’ll get over it, though. You need to hear this. 

"I’m an idiot," he says seriously, looking into your eyes. "I’m an idiot for thinking you would do that to me. I was scared and stupid, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I assumed the worst of you, and that I kept things from you, and that I ended things so suddenly. My past isn’t an excuse. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I should’ve been more open with you, so I’m going to try. Okay?"

You nod once, and he takes it as his cue to continue.

"You were right," he says, reaching to take one of your hands in his. He intertwines your fingers, staring down at them as he speaks. "About me having feelings for you."

He hears a sharp intake of breath. He doesn’t know what that means, can’t bring himself to look at you until he’s done verbalizing all of this, but he hopes it’s a good thing.

"I was happy to be your friend," he continues. "I didn’t expect anything more from you. But yeah, Y/N, I’d be crazy not to have feelings for you. You’re incredible, you know? You’re so smart, so driven, so insanely sexy. I was a goner the moment you introduced yourself to me with a handshake."

You pull your hand from his, and for a moment he panics, until he looks up to see you using it to cover a tiny laugh. Your eyes are glassy, and although Yoongi hates the idea of making you cry, he feels relieved to know that it’s likely not out of sadness.

"I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you," he reiterates, pulling your hand back into his and squeezing it. "I never meant to, but I did, and that’s not okay. But if I didn’t completely wreck my chances and you still want to try, I… I promise I’ll do better. I won’t keep things from you, I won’t act without considering your feelings, I’ll do better with all of it."

You take another shaky breath, biting down on your bottom lip as you process his words. Yoongi feels like he’s going to have a heart attack, tense and pulled taut, but he waits patiently. 

The ball is in your court now, Yoongi thinks. This is your decision, as it should be. If you want him to walk away, he will. If you want to stay friends, Yoongi thinks it might kill him now that everything’s out in the open, but he’ll do it for you. But he hopes—

"No more half-truths?" you ask softly.

"I promise," Yoongi insists. He holds his breath.

"Then I still want to try."

Holy shit.

Relief washes over him instantly, all of the tension leaving his shoulders at once. He didn’t fuck everything up beyond repair. You still want him. 

He can’t believe you still want him.

"Fuck," Yoongi breathes, squeezing your hand again. "Fuck, can I kiss you?"

"You better," you say, and Yoongi doesn’t waste a goddamn second. Instantly, he’s moving your knees so he can fit himself between them, cradling your jaw to capture your lips with his. 

God, you taste so good. He’s the luckiest motherfucker on the planet.

Yoongi is just happy to kiss you again, to know that you’re his now. But then you make a sweet little sound into his mouth, slide your hands under his shirt, and he pulls away to look at you.

"Baby," he says, catching his breath. Shit, it feels so good to call you that again. "We don’t have to do anything right now."

"Are you kidding?" you ask, pushing his shirt up impatiently. Cute. "After you left me hanging last time? In a suit, no less."

Yoongi huffs a laugh, grabbing hold of your wrists to stop your hands in their tracks. "I’m just saying, we don’t have to rush into anything just because—"

But then you shut him up with another kiss, which he melts into easily before you’re pulling back again. You look so serious. Yoongi likes you so fucking much.

"I want to fuck my boyfriend," you say, wriggling your hands out of his grip to keep feeling him up, and Yoongi is powerless to resist because fuck, boyfriend. "Is that too much to ask?"

He shakes his head dumbly, mouth agape. He’s your boyfriend. You said it.

You laugh, pinching his nipple, and Yoongi hisses as he’s yanked out of his reverie.

"Come on," you tease, standing from the couch and pulling him with you. "Bedroom."

Yoongi follows you to your bedroom eagerly, letting you drag him by the arm. You take a moment to shoo Pepper off of your bed and out of the room, shutting the door to keep her out, but Yoongi’s patience only lasts so long. As soon as the door is closed, Yoongi pulls you to your bed, laying you down on your back and kissing you breathless. 

He slips his tongue into your mouth, tasting you as his hands slide over your ass to squeeze it. You moan in response, your hips kicking up against his, and he lifts his head to look down at you.

"Tell me what you need," he murmurs, his lips still brushing against yours. Yoongi thinks he’d give you anything you ask for, especially when you look so sweet and needy beneath him like this.

"Just need you," you pant, chasing his lips for another kiss. He obliges easily, dipping down to lick into your mouth again.

Yoongi doesn’t want to rush this, but god, hearing you so wanton is testing his patience.

You practically tear at each other’s clothes, frantic hands pushing and pulling. Your shirt gets caught over your head, Yoongi curses as he wrestles his pants down past his thighs. You shimmy out of your shorts, panties clinging wetly to you, until you’re left in nothing but them, pressed against his bare skin, gasping for breath.

After some fumbling, you end up straddling his lap. Every little shift makes your soaked panties drag over his cock, sending sparks through him. Yoongi cups the back of your neck with one hand, the other planted low on your spine, anchoring you against him.

"Easy," he murmurs against your mouth, slowing you with a molten kiss. "We got all night, baby."

He kisses you again, taking his time to taste you, to sip at your mouth like he’s starved. Your lips are soft and swollen, your tongue lazy against his like you don’t want to break the connection, and fuck. Fuck, he missed you.

He moves his hand lower, grabbing a handful of your ass and grinding you against him with intent, slow and deep. You gasp into his mouth, and Yoongi groans low in his chest, feeling the slick heat of you soak through both your panties and the base of his cock.

"Feel that?" he mutters, his voice wrecked already. "You’re so fuckin’ wet for me. Making a mess already.”

You whimper and it makes Yoongi smile, teeth catching on your lower lip. He loves this, working you up with no rush. You get so needy for him so quickly.

"You like grinding on my cock, huh?" he rasps, kissing down your jaw, biting gently.

You nod, visibly dazed, clutching at his shoulders for balance as you roll your hips against him again. The friction of your soaked panties dragging over the head of his cock makes him choke on a groan, makes his thighs tense under you.

"That’s it," he pants, pressing his forehead to yours. "Soak me, baby. Rub that pretty pussy on me ‘til you can’t take it anymore."

You whimper again, grinding harder now, your thighs trembling with the effort. He can feel how turned on you’re getting, messy and hot and desperate. Every inch of you is pressed to him, getting sticky with sweat, your hands tangling in his hair as you kiss him sloppily.

And fuck, Yoongi loves it. Loves dragging it out, making you feel every second of it, every slow, wet grind. He palms your tits, thumbs flicking lazily over your nipples until you’re panting into his mouth, twitching in his lap.

"You wanna ride me, baby?" he asks roughly, hand sliding down to tug your panties aside, exposing the soaked mess of you to the humid air between your bodies. He rubs the head of his cock through your folds, smearing your wetness everywhere, teasing the tip against your clit just to watch you jerk.

"Yeah," you breathe, nails digging into his shoulders. "Please."

His heart clenches. You could ask him for the world right now and he’d hand it over.

"Condom?" he asks, swallowing hard.

You shake your head. "I'm on birth control," you say, words rushed, before tacking on, "and clean. Are you—?"

"Clean," he promises, thumb brushing your cheek. Of course he’s clean. The idea of doing this with anyone else seems insane to him. "Are you sure?"

You nod, breath hitching. "Please. Want you."

Fuck. Okay, so he’s really doing this.

Yoongi pulls your panties to the side again, lines himself up with a shaky hand, and pushes inside slow, slow, slow.

The stretch makes both of you moan—not loud, but broken, shuddery sounds that punch right out of your chests. You’re tight and hot, but by some miracle he manages to take his time, sinking in inch by inch.

His eyes nearly roll back when your walls flutter around him, sucking him in. "Shit, baby," he groans, bottoming out. His hands are shaking where they grip your hips. "So tight, feels so fuckin’ good.”

Neither of you moves for a moment. Yoongi’s head is spinning. You’re trembling, leaking around him, his thighs slick with your arousal, his cock soaked and pulsing inside you.

Then you lift your hips, dragging yourself up his cock until you’re almost pulling off before sinking back down with a slick, filthy squelch that fills the room. Yoongi feels everything—your slick dripping down his cock, the way your clit grinds against his pelvis every time you rock forward a little.

"Yoongi," you whimper, swiveling your hips in tiny, desperate movements.

"That’s it," he growls. "Ride me nice and slow, baby. Want you to take your time."

You do. He watches you almost luxuriate in it, so wet he can hear it, the sounds obscene in your quiet bedroom. Sweat starts to bead over your skin, sticking you together where your chests meet. Your nails dig into his shoulders for leverage, your forehead pressed to his.

Yoongi can’t stop touching you. His hand slide up your sides, down your back, cupping your ass, smooth over your thighs. He needs to feel you everywhere. Needs to have you everywhere.

"Good girl," he pants against your mouth. "Just like that. Fuck yourself on me, baby. Look how messy you are. Dripping all over me."

Hot and sticky and fucking everywhere. It makes his head spin, makes him thrust up into you shallowly, just to hear the filthy sound of your bodies meeting again. You moan, your movements getting more desperate, urgent, and Yoongi’s right there with you.

"I’m gonna come, baby," he warns, barely hanging on. "Fuck. Can I—inside?"

You nod frantically, hips stuttering. "Want it," you moan. "Want all of it, Yoongi, please."

That’s it. That’s all it takes.

He groans your name, hips jerking up into you once, twice, and then he’s coming hard. He fills you with it, so much it feels endless. His whole body locks up under you, arms tight around you, his mouth open against your neck, panting.

You collapse into his hold, both of you sticky and trembling with the aftershocks. You pull him into a kiss, gasping into his mouth as you recover. When you tear yourself away, Yoongi feels your hands cradling his face, and he opens his eyes to find you looking at him, exhausted from exertion but smiling.

"Fuck," you mumble fondly, thumbing his cheek. Yoongi’s heart skips a beat. "I missed you."

His hand comes up to rest over yours, a shy smile playing at his lips. "Guess we won’t get tired of each other any time soon."

You laugh, carefully lifting up off of his lap. "No, I guess not."

It’s hard to tear himself away from you, but Yoongi drags himself off your bed, navigating his way to your bathroom easily. Your apartment has the same layout, after all. When he returns, he uses one of your towels to wipe you down carefully, struggling to strip the sheets without disturbing you. You both made a fucking mess, but he manages.

Afterwards, he climbs onto the mattress with you, pulling you close, your head on his chest. For a moment, Yoongi tries to think back to the last time he felt this way, but he comes up short. Even in his last serious relationship, it didn’t feel like this. In the back of his head, even if he wasn’t willing to admit it until now, he always knew something was off about it. 

But this, being close to you like this, this thing you were both so scared of… It feels so right, now that neither of you are pretending.

"Seokjin thinks we’re going to fall in love," you say after a long moment, your voice quiet.

Oh.

Dangerous thing to say, Yoongi thinks, with your head on his chest like this, so close to his traitorous heart.

"Seokjin thinks a lot of shit. Says all of it out loud, too," Yoongi murmurs into your hair, taking one of your hands to thread his fingers between yours. "What do you think?"

Yoongi knows what he thinks. He thinks he’s already more than halfway there. He thinks this… you and him could really be something. Not for the first time tonight, he holds his breath.

"I think he’s right," you answer softly, lifting your head to look at him.

As Yoongi looks back at you—his wallflower, his neighbor, his music journalist friend, his beautiful, hardworking girl—all he can think about is that western bar he didn’t want to go to. The one he was dragged to on some random Friday, not even a wellness check night. The one he could’ve easily said no to going to in favor of staying in his studio instead. Just another thing he owes his friends for, he thinks. This might be the best one, though.

He squeezes your hand.

"Yeah," he says. "Me too."

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[aoioozora]

Simon.

Part 10

Chapters Masterlist

Character: Simon Riley / Ghost Content: Biker! Ghost x Fem! Reader, strangers to lovers, fluff, civilian au

Note: Took me too long just to get down the first draft but editing it was pleasant. Please enjoy my hard work :')

“Last man left, you broken hearted, let me treat you right… 

Shorty if you need me, I could pull up any night. 

You just say the words, girl, I don't need a reason… 

Give me something more than just a lover on the weekend…”

Johnny's soft singing filled the quietness of the afternoon as he, Gaz, and Simon sat together on the dock, fishing rods in their hands, staring at the distant, hazy hills and the rippling water of the lake. The ladies were left to nap in the tent, while the men had their ‘boys time’, and what better way to spend it than fishing.

“Johnny,” Gaz called, shifting ever so slightly in his picnic chair so as to not disturb the movement of his fishing rod.

“Hm?” 

“Stop singing, you'll scare the fish away.” 

“Nonsense. Am no’ even singin’ tha’ loud.” 

“Yeah, but you will get louder as you go on, so shut up.” 

Johnny groaned and stopped singing. The three sat in silence again, waiting for a fish to take bait. Johnny and Gaz were relatively comfortable sitting still, as they knew that when it came to fishing, patience was the highest virtue. But Simon was antsy, and his knee bounced like a low dribbled basketball on steroids. 

This was visible in Johnny’s periphery, and he grew increasingly annoyed at how it distracted him from enjoying the slower pace of the lazy afternoon. Having enough, he delivered a hard slap to Simon’s knee, and the victim let out a bellow of surprise.

“What the fuck, Johnny?!” Simon snapped, nearly getting out of his seat, ready to throw hands.

Johnny shushed him. “Stop shaking so much, ye absolute lemon,” he chided under his breath, “Whit's oan yer mind?”

“Nothing,” Simon looked sideways as he muttered quietly, now sitting back down. 

Johnny and Gaz looked at each other and then rolled their eyes. Gaz quipped, “I don't know if you know, but when you shake your knee like that, it means that something’s bothering you.”

“Aye, he's right. I've seen it too,” Johnny agreed with a nod, “So, whit is it?” 

Simon hesitated. 

“C'mon, mate,” Gaz tried to encourage Simon, “No secrets, remember?” 

Simon let out a sound that was half a sigh and half a groan. He turned to Johnny, “Fine! Johnny, do you like Lindsey?” 

“Aye, I do?” Johnny answered immediately, raising his eyebrows at the question, “I thought I made it obvious?”

Simon narrowed his eyes. “I mean, for real? Do you really like her or are you just messing around like you always do?” 

“Why do ye want tae ken?” Johnny’s voice now grew a little quieter.

“____ asked,” Simon answered, sitting back and sighing. He glanced at his friend, who was looking back at him. “She wants to know if you're serious about her. And from the looks of it, she won't take kindly to you playing around.” 

Johnny's lips pursed into a thin line when he heard this, and he too sat back in his chair, now silent and thoughtful. Gaz and Simon stared at him, waiting for an answer. 

“I do like her, she's bonny,” he answered quietly with a shrug, the look on his face a little distant and dreamy. 

“You say that to every woman you talk to,” Simon retorted, though he was a little surprised by the rare look on his friend's face, a look he'd seen only once. 

“No, no. Wait,” Gaz hushed Simon, “He's not done.” 

Johnny shifted in his seat and continued, now a little solemn, “Am serious. I like her… a lot. She's bonny, and cute… she has nice hair and,” he smiled a little, “a face like a mouse. Squeaks a lot like one too.”

Simon glanced at Gaz, who looked back at him with a smirk on his face. They waited for him to elaborate.

“That's all ye will get,” Johnny huffed, sitting back on his chair. In reality, the attraction he felt for Lindsey couldn't be put into words. Something about her bashfulness, her feistiness, her cute pouts and frowns, and particularly her glowing, gorgeous green eyes that reminded him of the rolling Highlands tickled a spot in his heart that he had long closed away. 

Gaz began teasing Johnny, giving him light and playful pushes and shoves. Johnny, a little embarrassed, swatted his friend’s hands away while laughing and trying to counter Gaz’s teasing. Simon watched their banter, particularly looking at Johnny. He found his best friend’s behaviour peculiar, something he’s never personally seen before. 

He knew Johnny to be a smooth talker, a man who knew just the right words to say to make a woman fall head over heels for him. Johnny’s normal behaviour with a casual crush or fling was to talk incessantly and excitedly about them as if to overcompensate for the shallow feelings, but when it came to Lindsey, it was almost surprising to see him so solemn, so quiet, so thoughtful, even dreamy. 

Simon was more-or-less now convinced that his best friend really did like Lindsey and let out a sigh of relief on behalf of ____ as he turned his focus on the still waters. 

When the Gaz-Johnny banter died down, Johnny then turned to Simon to ask, “Whit about ye?”

“What about me?” Simon returned, confused. 

“With ____, ye lemon. How’s it going with her?”

He paused, sitting back on the picnic chair and tucking an arm under his head as he shrugged. “It’s going.”

“Where?” 

“Somewhere.”

Johnny and Gaz looked at eachother. “Whit ye mean?” Johnny raised a brow, “Stop bein’ so vague.”

“I think she likes someone else,” he mumbled, staring ahead across the lake with a blank, expressionless look, trying to sound like he wasn’t bothered.

The two looked at each other again, incredulous of what he claimed and unconvinced by his tone of voice. “Impossible,” Gaz quipped, “Have you seen her? The way she looks at you tells me she wants you to eat her whole or something.”

Johnny snorted at that and then backed Gaz up with his own observations. “Did ye ken I sent her tae help ye out with the wood? Ye should’ve seen her face. She flew aff.” It was a bit of an exaggeration, but Johnny needed to get his point across.

Simon turned to Johnny, raising a brow and shaking his head. “No way. You’re just saying.”

“No mate, I’m serious,” Johnny answered, now getting a little impatient as he stared at Simon, annoyed by his best friend’s obstinance. “Ye never dae this, Simon, but if ye want somethin’, ye gotta ask, ye ken?” 

“Ask what?”

Johnny groaned loudly. “Ye fuckin’ doughnut, ask her if she likes ye.” 

“You’re off your head,” Simon retorted, “I’m not so daft to take a risk that big.”

“Then ask her if she likes that bloke,” he reasoned, only to see Simon giving him the side-eye. Johnny, finally losing his patience, gave his friend a slap on the back of his head. “Just fuckin’ ask her. Don’t be such a pussy. Imagine the endless possibilities, Simon, imagine! If ye weren’t such a fuckin’ pussy.”

“Alright, fine!” Simon relented as he rubbed the back of his head, having enough of being called a pussy so many times for one day.

Johnny looked at Gaz and shook his head like a disappointed parent, making Gaz smile and shrug. The Scotsman turned back to Simon and gave him one long look, saying with a sigh, “I havnae seen ye like this before, mate. Yer usually fearless.”

Simon rubbed his cheek, particularly the scarred one. “No experience in this department,” he admitted.

“Hm,” Johnny exhaled, allowing his eye to linger on the long scar on his friend’s cheek, the reason for his inexperience.

When the last rays of the sun set behind the hills, the men ended their fishing, sadly returning with only a small handful in their bucket. Simon was sent to the tent to check on the ladies while Johnny and Gaz decided to head to the cabin to gut the fish and prepare a marinade so that they could grill them over the fire later.

“____? Lindsey?” called Simon as he entered the tent and moved towards the room they occupied. There was no answer.

He took hold of the zipper to open the entrance, but hesitated, not wanting to possibly catch them in a vulnerable position somehow. He cursed his upbringing, that he never had any sisters he could barge in on to annoy; unzipping this entrance would be a lot easier otherwise. 

He called once again. No answer. He didn’t want to be called a pussy again, so he slowly unzipped the entrance a little and peered in. 

In the dim darkness, he could vaguely see the two ladies fast asleep, cuddled like a litter of kittens. He shook his head, thinking to himself, “Women can do the gayest things and nobody bats an eyelid.” But that was the least of his concern at the moment, for when his eyes adjusted to the dimness, he noticed that ____ cuddled Little Simon to her chest.

Bigger Simon immediately zipped the entrance close and stood there in a daze, unable to stop himself from imagining replacing Little Simon, having the privilege of his arms around her waist, her arms around his neck, and his face nestled in her chest, no space between their bodies, cuddled and breathing each other in. His dirty little mind took it a step further and imagined him and her naked, but he caught himself and shook his head, feeling his cheeks start to burn. 

“Get a hold of yourself, Simon,” he reminded himself, “You can’t think of her like that.” 

He took out his phone and decided to wake the ladies up in the worst way possible: using the jarring sound of the alarm. They woke up immediately; as expected, Lindsey did not appreciate being woken up and mumbled some curses at Simon, while ____ was a little disoriented from the heavy sleep, even asking what year it was.

Before long, the five were soon seated on the wooden benches in front of the blazing fire pit under the now darkening sky, watching the fish grill over the open flames. Johnny and Gaz passed the time singing as he usually did, while Lindsey, though not a singer herself, tried to join. 

Johnny eventually did not want to sit still, so he snatched Lindsey by the hand and coaxed her to dance with him. 

“No!” she exclaimed with flaming cheeks as she saw the three others looking at her with teasing grins.

“C’mon Jolene, yer no’ dancin’ alone! Am here too!” He noticed that she was trying to pry her hand out of his grip, which made him hold on tighter.

“Have some fun for once, Linny!” encouraged ____, smiling widely.

“Ye heard her,” Johnny grinned and pulled Lindsey to her feet. “We’ll dae it ceilidh style!” 

Before she said another word, he already wrapped an arm around her waist and started hopping around with her and twirling her around while singing ‘Highland Girl’. Though she had been and danced in enough ceilidhs before, she still scrambled to hold on to Johnny’s shoulder and manage to keep up with his quick pace and tempo of the song. Though she stumbled occasionally, he kept her from falling, and her constant slip ups didn’t keep him from losing his patience or energy. 

“I didn’t know that I fell in love, in love with my Highland girl,” he sang, and he just had to gaze at her with those big blue eyes of his into her green ones. Time slowed for the both of them as he pulled her closer to himself and grinned out of sheer joy at the way her freckled cheeks flushed red both out of shyness and exertion, and at how the fire cast a warm glow over her face and her fiery red hair that swayed as they danced. 

He felt his chest swell as he looked at her, really and genuinely feeling like he was falling in love with this Highland girl in front of him. Lindsey felt no less. Their friends watched on, cheering, teasing, and encouraging them to keep dancing, happy to see the two so close to each other.

____ watched fondly, her eyes softening at how Lindsey eventually smiled and laughed as she danced with Johnny. Simon, who was sitting close next to her, saw the warm look on her face and smiled to himself.

“So,” he began, now leaning close to her so he could whisper, “I asked Johnny.”

“Mmhm,” she nodded eagerly, smiling. Simon noted the twinkle in her eye and could already tell that she knew what the answer would be.

“He does like her,” he confirmed, watching her closely for her reaction.

Her face broke into a bigger smile and she turned to the dancing pair, a fonder and warmer look in her eyes. “I can see it,” she answered, voice light with relief.

Simon couldn’t help but stare at her smile and at how the fire brightened up her eyes. His own dark eyes softened and his shoulders relaxed slightly as he watched her.

By this time, Lindsey needed a break and Johnny let her have one, though he wanted to dance some more. He danced with Gaz next, who was happy to oblige. 

As Simon and ____ watched them and laughed, he discreetly lifted his arm and put it on the back rest right behind her, though he was itching to put it around her shoulders and pull her closer to him. She noticed this, and instinctively moved closer to him. He gulped harshly, feeling his entire body go stiff. 

Wanting to make some small talk, he asked, flashing a boyish smirk at her, “You sleep alright, darling?”

“Yeah, like a log until you came in with your wonderful alarm,” she nudged his side with her elbow, feigning annoyance. 

He chuckled. “You're welcome.” 

There was a pause and he saw her take out her phone. His attention was turned back to his dancing friends until it returned to the lady next to him when he heard her giggle. Wondering if she too was watching the dancing, turned to her to make a comment about it, but instead found her giggling at her phone. A quick glance told him that she was texting someone, and a slightly longer, nosier glance told him that it was Alejandro. 

He drew in a sharp breath, clenching his fists slightly. His earlier anger shot up again, and he pulled his arm off the back rest, and crossed it over his chest, now deciding that watching the fish grill was more interesting. When she was done texting, he asked, 

“How's Alejandro doing, by the way?” Not that he cared. 

“He's alright. He was texting me just now. Said he didn't see me come out of my place this weekend to go out so I told him I was out camping.” she explained. 

Simon's arms crossed tighter. “What a fucking stalker,” he thought. 

“He said he wanted to join us next time.” she added. 

Simon's brow furrowed. He regretted even asking about that man. “I see,” he said through his teeth, appalled by his audacity, especially when he wasn't a close friend of hers. 

Now was his chance to ask her about what she thought of him, and he took it immediately. “I'm curious about one thing, darling,” began Simon. She looked at him attentively. “Do you… like him?”

She looked at him with surprise and then exclaimed, laughing, “No! Goodness, no, Simon. I don't.” 

Simon couldn't hold back a sigh of relief. “You don't?” he asked, hiding his excitement, “I thought you did. He seems cool.”

She looked at him, an eyebrow raised. “You think he's cool? I thought you didn't like him. Especially after how nicely you greeted him when you first met him.” 

He shook his head, chuckling. “I said I would be the “protective boyfriend”, so that's what I was doing.” He felt his face turn hot, a little afraid of how observant she was. “Either way,” he decided to steer the conversation in a slightly different direction, “I was thinking you liked him, and so I thought that if you did, I could stop pretending to be your boyfriend and get out of your way. And you wouldn’t have to come with me to my family reunion.” His face started turning hotter again as he felt like his words were coming out all jumbled up. 

She chuckled again. “Oh, no. It's nothing like that. He's just a neighbour to me, just a friend.” 

He smiled. “Alright then.” Simon exhaled slowly; he was tired of how volatile his feelings had been in the course of that single day, soaring high only to dive down deep and then to soar again. 

The fish was soon grilled and everyone feasted on them. After that, the marshmallows came out, which they put on skewers and toasted over the fire. 

Johnny announced, “We should play ‘Simon Says’!” which earned the chuckles of everyone except Simon. 

“Not this again,” Simon rolled his eyes as he sandwiched the gooey marshmallow and a piece of chocolate between two biscuits to make a smore.

“Come oan!” Johnny coaxed, “Yer no fun!”

Simon relented, “Alright, alright,” 

Johnny grinned and the others sat ready looking at Simon, ready for his orders. 

Simon cleared his throat and said, “Simon says… stop playing Simon says.”

Everyone collectively groaned and protested, making Simon chuckle uncontrollably. 

“Och, sod off, mate! I’ll make Gaz Simon,” Johnny declared, shaking his head at Simon, who was more than happy to oblige.

Gaz took the place of Simon and ordered everyone to do the most outrageous actions, even a whole dance routine that the ladies completely butchered, until everyone’s sides started to hurt from laughing too much. Johnny had to take over soon enough to end Gaz’s reign of “terror”, and everyone had their turn as well.

After a few more games and marshmallows eaten, Johnny decided he'd sing one last song before they'd extinguish the fire and head off to bed because he “wanted to sing ye all tae sleep”.

Over the silent air, the fire over the crackling wood danced with the gently blowing breeze whilst the chirp of insects filled the relaxing silence. The four, tired from playing and laughing, sat still, waiting to hear Johnny. 

He began softly and sweetly to sing,

“Oh, my love said to me, “will you meet me by the sea?” 

You can kiss me underneath the misty moon…”

He stole a cheeky glance at Lindsey, who frowned at him and shyly looked away. He continued, still looking at her, 

“She is stunnin’, she is pretty, she's as warm as amber whisky, 

And as bonny as a heather on the hill.”

____ smiled and giggled at his openly flirtatious display. She was so focused on them that she didn't see how Simon stared at her. 

“When I was a young boy, my mother said to me, 

“Find yourself a pretty lass, don't take her love for free”

From the fields of Aberfeldy to the shores of Loch Maree

I know that she's the only one for me.”

His arm went over the backrest of the bench again, right behind her, and when she leaned against him just a tad, he felt the irresistible urge to put his arm around her shoulders and hug her, this stunning, pretty woman, who was warm as amber whisky and more bonny than a thousand heathers on a thousand hills.

The singing made everyone slouch in their seats out of relaxation, and Simon sat back with a sigh, letting his itchy arm lightly graze against her shoulder. The lady next to him was highly aware of his closeness, and again, she thought of the moment at the arcade. She looked up at him, only to find him staring right at her with his lips slightly parted. She met his eye, feeling a flutter tickle her stomach.

“Simon?” she called softly, lightly tapping his thigh. 

He blinked, realising he was staring. “Yeah?” he asked, turning his head away slightly, embarrassed to have been caught.

“You’re staring,” she teased, echoing his own remark to her when they went out before. 

He chuckled. “Sorry darling, I was just…” he met her eye, “thinking of something,” he said, giving her a fond smile.

“Was it me?” she wondered, but instead smiled. 

They listened to the rest of Johnny’s song, and by the time he ended, nearly everyone was sleepy and yawning. Johnny thanked his audience for listening to his constant singing, pretending to be a famous singer ending a concert, even exaggeratedly bowing to them and earning chuckles and soft applause from his friends. They extinguished the fire and took their plates back to the cabin to wash and gathered their snacks to seal and keep them away.

Just as they gathered in the tent to retire for the night, Johnny announced, “Remember lads, we’re hiking tae see the sunrise tomorrow, so ye all better be ready! We ride at the asscrack of dawn!”

“Alright, that’s enough screaming now. Let’s sleep.” Gaz caught Johnny in a chokehold and pulled him into one of the two rooms in the tent. 

“Make sure tae kiss the homies good night!” Johnny called out laughingly from the room. He even blew a good night kiss to Lindsey, but she just rolled her eyes and went inside the other room in the tent, huffing and blushing. 

The men and ladies exchanged their good-nights and tucked into their sleeping bags. From all the noise in the other room, the ladies could tell that Johnny still hadn’t settled down. Eventually, Simon and Gaz had to scold him, and he soon quieted, making the ladies in the other room giggle to themselves.

Lindsey didn’t take too long to fall asleep, but ____ was wide awake thanks to her very heavy afternoon nap. It was past eleven-thirty when she took out her phone to work on the novel and jot down chapter outlines and her notes and observations of Simon, which would eventually be twisted and bent into a shape fitting for Frederick. Sleep still didn’t come to her, even much past midnight. 

Tired of staring at her phone in the darkness, she closed her aching, strained eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Sleep would not come anytime soon so, “I suppose a walk would help,” she figured.

Tucking Little Simon under her arm, she carefully slipped past her sleeping best friend and out of the tent without a sound and walked over the damp grass towards the lake and stood at the dock, watching the water ripple under the moonlight and the faraway hills bathed in it. Basked in the gentle light, she looked up at the distant stars, twinkling without a care, and inhaled the cool air of the night. She walked by the pebbled banks for a while, enjoying their soft clatter as she stepped over them, until a soft breeze brought in the clouds, making a light rain descend. 

Not yet wanting to go back to the tent, she made her way to the cabin to sit on the porch to watch the world and the rain go by. In the dim darkness, she saw a large shadow sitting on the wooden bench. 

“Hey, you can’t sleep either?” asked the familiar rough, gravelly voice of the shadow.

“Simon?”

End of Part 10.

Part 11

Simon lore in the next chapter! Leave a comment if you want to be tagged for the next part :) Thank you for reading <3

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[maiden-of-the-waters]

Oceans Rebirth

Summary; Bèiké’s control is slipping, her mind is breaking, storms ravage the land, droughts rage and fishermen yield nothing. When the Buddha is consulted, he offers a solution to her and her alone, but it’s not answer Bèiké really wanted to hear. Can she do what needs to be done before Sun Wukong interferes?

Warning; Angst, broken minds, arguments, hurt/kinda-comfort, self sacrifice, this was before Bèiké knew she was one of the true immortals. Art depicting mild gore. Please read with caution.

Taglist; @vap0rwave-dr34ml4nd @tunadunanana @szynkaaa @marcu-bug @s0rr3l @bottyshaker-900o (if you want to be added let me know.)

It’s finally done!!! 😭😭Strap in folks, this is going to be a long one.

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🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

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Being stretched so thin makes it difficult to be where I am in the moment… It’s hard to be everywhere at once, all the time…

Those are words that Bèiké has said more times she than could count. Words filled with exhaustion and a reality she had no choice but to accept.

Her mortal mind ever the servant to the very thing she immortally personified.

Part of her often wondered if the universe had made a mistake. Should she exist as she is? What if the water was just supposed to just stay water?

Why have a body? A consciousness?

Why possess a human heart?

The human body is such a fragile form to hold when you are Water.

As she lounged in a plush pillow-nest that filled a luxurious room within the palace of the Water Curtain Cave, her thoughts cause another morose sigh to escape from her. Which - in turn - caused a disgruntled chirp to rip her from her thoughts as she turned to face her ever wandering attention back onto her Simian Stone Brother.

Who, in turn, stared at her with sulking expression.

“Your mind wandered again.” Sun Wukong stated matter-a-factly. His tone as grumpy as his expression. The Great Sage not liking being anything less than the center of attention.

Instinctively, Bèiké’s mind filtered through a hundred possible excuses before she settled her mind and sighed. “I’m sorry brother… it’s hard to be here today.” She answered honestly.

Sun Wukong blinked. His expression loosing its annoyed grouch as he moved to sit a bit closer, getting in her space until their knees touched, his hands went to grip hers. She tensed at his proximity but didn’t move away, allowing him to initiate contact.

For all his foolishness and impulsive nature, he what he wasn’t was dull-witted.

“Hard-to-be-here as in, within this cave? Or hard-to-be-here as in, being in a body?” He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. Having known about her mind’s struggle to exist within her human form for a while now. Having found her dangerously dazed on more than one occasion when she had come to visit him and the Phoenix Maiden on the mountain of Flowers and Fruit he proudly called home.

Her mind had been so scattered that she neglected the body she - for reasons unknown to everyone accept the Buddha - possessed. She’d forget to eat, forget to move, forget to breathe, and in extreme circumstances, she’d forget to make her heart beat.

Her eyes would be open but staring at sights that weren’t in front of her. Sun Wukong had been forced to jerk her consciousness back into her body on multiple occasions, even biting her harshly to shock her out of her dazed state. Kick-starting her heart back up.

He had - back then - harshly scolded her for allowing herself to get to that state until he had learned just what had caused it. What she was constantly fighting. What she was eternally trying to hold together with no breaks or reprieves or mercy. He pitied his sister as much as he found himself begrudgingly admiring her.

Now, she stared at his hands as she tried to focus on the Monkey King in front of her, not the rush of the water curtain cave as it beat the rock into submission, not focus on the fish swimming through the veins of the river or the clouds overhead moving as though on a breath.

She tried to focus on the soft fur, not the whales casting their bubble nets to catch fish on the other side of the world, their songs vibrating her ears. Or the blood running through the creatures of the worlds veins as they ran, or slept, or played, or fought, or-

A louder chirp made her flinch back to reality as she met the glowing ember eyes her brother ever possessed, staring at her with more than a little worry.

“Is it getting harder sister? Tell this Sun Wukong and I will do what I can to assist.” His stone calloused hands rubbing over her arms in an attempt to ground her, his nails gently scraping and pinching against her skin. Trying to comfort her in the way his people do.

She sighed and closed her eyes, allowing herself to be grounded as she leaned forward slightly to rest her forehead against his. His heat a steady anchor against her normally cool skin.

He cooed at his little sister. The sound reverberating from the back of his throat. For all his playful nature and mischievous tendencies, Sun Wukong, the great sage equal to heaven, was a good king who cared for his people. And he had claimed her as one of his. His nature wouldn’t allow him to be anything less than attentive to the woman he had taken as his younger sister.

So he took it in stride when his normally reserved and touch-adverse sister gripped the fur on his upper arms.

She gently rubbed her nose against his. “Forgive this Bèiké, Wukong. You should be anticipating the celebrations for the Day of your birth, you only have 4 full moons left… not worrying about a woman slowly going mad.” She released the hold she had on his fur with a sigh. “I can hear the voices of the water calling me, I don’t think I am strong enough to fight them anymore… do you blame me?”

Wukong nuzzled his forehead against hers with a soft coo. “Of course not dear sister. You’re forced to stretch yourself thin, I can’t blame you for something you have no control over. Go and rest. Regain your strength so that you can better worship this Sun Wukong later.” He grinned and gave her ear a chaste nip, hooting out a laugh when she flinched back and glared at him. “As you say, there are four months until the day of my birth is here. I expect great presents from you for my birth celebrations. An offering as great and handsome as I.”

She blew out a breath in his face to get him to back further away from her, which he did with his own flinch that left her chuckling. “Worry not brother, I plan on gifting you a treasure that will surely enhance your glory. Mayhaps it will also grant you some humility.”

“How dare you, insolence! I am a Pious Buddhist.” Wukong guaffs, crossing his arms, scowling but happy she’s feeling better enough to play with him.

“Yes and the Lady QuanYin throws celebrations every night for the inebriated.” She rolls her eyes as she gets to her feet. Finally giving into the urging of her voices in her mind commanding her to return to the sea.

“Your faith in this Sun Wukong is lacking sweet sister.” He pouts, snapping his teeth at her.

“I simply see the truth of you dear brother.” She smiles back at him as she steps to the Water Curtain, visibly relaxing as the spray drizzles across her skin.

She turned to give him one last hug before she allowed her physical form to quite literally melt away, rejoining the water curtain, then the river, then the ocean. Where she expanded to a vast nothing that was everything.

It was much easier to think when she didn’t have a physical form. Flesh, bones, organs and a functioning brain are complex and hard to maintain. It was much easier to exist when she didn’t need to worry about feeding her immortally mortal body, or keep track of her limbs, organs and senses.

The waters, or more specifically, allowing herself to rejoin the waters gave her clarity.

And she took advantage of that clarity.

The celebrations of Sun Wukong’s birthday for one. She already had an idea of what she wanted to gift him.

The storm summoning whistle and the abyssal armor.

Both grand and glorious and would be useful to him in his battles should he need to regear up to defend his kingdom.

Useful gifts, gifts that will give her brother a fun gleam in his eye. Gifts she knew Sun Wukong would love.

As whales sung in the distance, sharks made their migrations, carp fought their way upriver, children played in the streams, rain rehydrated the land and all the other things the waters of the world did, Bèiké thought about her families and friends, and wondered what they would do next.

And she tried not to think about how it was getting harder and harder hold her body in its physical state. Her chest painfully tight, her lungs stuttering.

She didn’t want to think about a fact so scary it had left her weeping in her hidden rooms on more than one occasion.

She may be immortal… but her body was failing.

And nothing could stop it or slow it’s failing down.

She didn’t know when it started, if she had to put her finger on a specific timeframe. Perhaps it was always that way and she only became aware of it the past hundred years or so. Or maybe it was just a switch that day she grew aware of her mind becoming more and more disoriented.

And as vast as the knowledge in the ocean was, there was little that could be done to stop a human body from being crushed by it.

But she didn’t want to think about that.

So she forced her wandering thoughts back to what she could get for her friends and family when she returned to her palace.

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Bèiké remembered the first thing she ever heard. She didn’t know when exactly her consciousness had begun, only that she had one day become aware of the fact she had one.

“There you are, what a beautiful child you’ll become. Welcome to the world, Maiden of the Worldly Waters.”

The voice had been masculine in nature. But gentle and happy. The voice one should associate with a person meant to be a mentor or a guide.

She had known with a certainty she didn’t know she possessed that it was the Voice of the Buddha. And she had decided she liked his voice before she even knew what it was to ‘like’ or ‘dislike’ something.

The ocean is old, timeless and ever shifting, No one truly knows exactly how old the Waters of the world are.

By the time that thought occurred to Bèiké, she was already a part of it. And to have a consciousness be born of the waters is an unexplainable experience.

Bèiké remembered the first time she opened her eyes.

She was in the deep ocean, the light far away but still visible. She felt so small yet far too large at the same time. She felt powerful yet small, loved and feared, wild and free.

Her first act had been to head to the surface, the light had been so beautiful from under the waves and she had wanted to see it up close.

The first time she stepped out of the water and onto land it was a wild storm. She laughed with the thunder and danced in the rain. Making it dance around her in turn with nothing but the mist to cover her modesty

The world felt so alive.

She can’t recall now how long she had danced. Only that when the storm had finally calmed, she was back in the middle of the ocean, the waves creating flowing skirts around her hips and her hair covering her chest to flow into the waters as pearls formed to begin adorning her.

She was sitting on top of the waters, leaning back to watch the clouds when they arrived.

She remembered thinking how pretty and bright their armor was, how delicate their movements. The bright objects they held gleaming in the light and appearing to glow - she’d later learn that they were called swords and spears, weapons. - And they guided down a Man and a Woman to stand before her.

Bèiké remembered thinking that the man’s clothes and hair were radiant. And that his brow was stern.

The woman, similarly, was a stunning beauty. Something about her felt familiar to Bèiké, and even without the older woman saying a word, the maiden knew in her heart that she was fond of her.

The conversation had been brief. Having been so long, Bèiké struggled to remember exactly what was said,l that day, but they held curiosity and caution towards her. Bèiké, in her innocence of being newly formed and freshly capable of speech, and done little help relieve any suspicion.

When she simply told them she was water, that they stood on her body, that they held her within them, it was the older woman, who introduced herself as the Lady Mazu, who confirmed their suspicion.

The Lady Mazu was delighted, and took the maiden as her own right away, giving her the name she most popularly went by. “Bèiké” little seashell, her precious ocean gift. Encouraging the Jade Emperor, to agree.

———

The time in the jade palace had been a time of great learning, how to read and write, proper speech and posture, songs, poetry and dance, palace life and hierarchy, avoiding the empress and her secretive glares and false niceties.

Bèiké was kept busy

So busy, that it took a long time for the whispers to be heard.

She remembered when it happened the first time.

A dinner banquet for one of her brother’s promotions had been coming to a close. Beike had remembered being on edge all day but not knowing why. Her precious attendants, Tian Shui and HeHua were similarly concerned.

It had snuck up on her, like a snake hidden by shadows, coiled and ready to strike. Bèiké had no idea the danger was so close. Perhaps that was why it had snuck up on her with such success.

It wasn’t a trickle of sound that steadily grew louder, no. It had been a cascade. The dam bursting and the floodgates flying open.

Beike had collapsed holding her hands over ears, trying to block out a torrent of sound that was coming from her mind.

Rushing through her like a wild river and a riptide combined. The crash of noise that left a single repeating message in the front of her mind.

“I must return.”

She didn’t remember her body fading or her return to the water. Only that when the sound finally, finally stopped, and she was able to open her eyes once more, she was deep in the ocean. The only sound she could hear was the beating of her own heart.

Relief.

The rest was a blur, vaguely aware of dragons, great, shining, metallic beasts coming and checking on her on behalf of her royal family. But even the exchanged worse were fuzzy at best. Eventually she was able to “Wake Up” again and come out of the waters and she was later told she was gone for three weeks.

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She had learned since the day of her brothers promotion banquet, when the crescendo washed over her and forced her back to the ocean for over a fortnight. She had learned the signs to look for and the whispers to pick up on.

It didn’t completely disappear the problem, however it made it more predictable. She knew when she had to return to water, to listen to the voices before it was too late and the whispers went from a whisper to a scream, a small request to be heard to a deafening demand to be obeyed.

Instead of a tidal wave of noise that appeared all at once, it had in time become a creeping whisper that steadily grew louder at a much more tolerable rate.

Still…

It was easy to get lost in the whispers of her own nature. The waters from around the world, the clouds above growing fat with rain, the ebb and flow of the waters over the land, the last dried breath of the parched to the gasping struggles of the drowning. The rivers widening and bending, the lakes and ponds rising and falling.

Life ever moving, water ever flowing. And her mortal, human mind struggled to keep up.

It was getting worse…. How frustrating.

“My Beike!”

She jumped back to her body and blinked at her adopted mother, the Lady Mazu’s eyes fixed on her with worry, her hand clutching hers in a grip as tight as her delicate hold would allow.

Bèiké gripped her skirts as she forced her attention back to her present body.

“Mother, I am here.”

The goddess of the Sea and guardian of sailors looked at her daughter with eyes filled with doubt and worry. “…Are you?”

Bèiké sighed, unable to lie to her. “For the moment… I’m sorry mother.”

The Lady Mazu furrowed her brow and gave her daughter a chastising look. “Naughty girl, why must you make your poor mother worry so?” She sighed, gently ran her fingers through her daughter’s hair, untangling the pearls that inlay the long sea-colored strands before gently cupping the young woman’s cheek. “I am worried for you dear, I fear that I see less and less of you. And then when I do see you, I can’t entertain the joy in my heart because your eyes are still far away.”

Despite knowing it wasn’t truly her fault, Bèiké still felt guilt tighten her chest at her mother’s distress. “I have failed you mother, I haven’t been filial. I beseech you to forgive your foolish child.” Bèiké pressed her cheek into her mother’s touch, her hands soft and warm, soothing, grounding.

“Oh you silly girl. How can I blame you? I should be the one apologizing.”

Bèiké sucked in a harsh breath and flinched back. “What? No! Mother you mustn’t, I should’ve never put you in this position of worry.”

Lady Mazu simply sighed and and summoned her regalia, sitting up straight, fixing her skirts and holding her head high. “I am the mother of the sea, I can sooth storms and protect sailors, I am a guide, a saint and savior…” her face filled with sadness again. “Yet I can’t sooth your mind, I can’t guide you home… I can’t protect your heart. You must forgive your helpless mother.”

Bèiké shook her head, unwilling to let her mother take the blame for her. “My lady please, there’s nothing to forgive, I have never blamed you. Mother. I owe the person I am today thanks to you.”

“Oh my sweet child. I only wish I could fix your mind.”

The conversation had then turned to more light-hearted topics after that. Mother and daughter catching up and Bèiké happily gifting her mother with precious treasures from the deep, enriching her palace evermore. Doing her filial duty to the woman who adopted her as family.

They both tried to avoid the forbidden topic of the Pearl Maiden’s mind.

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It started a month ago with a single storm.

Bèiké had been swift to quell it. But it had devastated all the same.

Not in damage or loss of life. No.

In fact, since it had been in the middle of the ocean, nothing had been harmed. It was devastating in a far more subtle way.

Bèiké had had no control over it.

It had been created without her conscious control, and despite being water, it resisted her command.

That shouldn’t have been possible.

She Was water.

Quelling a storm was a simple to her as raising a hand above her head. And yet…

She felt fear take root in her stomach, her hands shaking as she kept them clenched to her chest.

She was losing control…

What did that mean for her? What did that mean for water? Her mind scrambled to find an answer but there was none to be had.

She had been far too frazzled to return to the Jade palace, she couldn’t risk the courtiers, the eunuchs, or even her precious attendants observing her in such a state.

But in desperate need for some sort of connection, something to stop the torrent of panic flooding through her, she went in search of it among people who wouldn’t judge her for being anything other than the gentle princess.

And so it was, that she had found herself on the mountains of flowers and fruit. And Sun Wukong, though surprised, had welcomed her into his home all the same.

“Pray tell brother - and you mustn’t judge me for this query- but say you feel like you’re loosing control over your body. How would you handle such a dilemma?” It was a question Bèiké had casually asked the victorious fighting Buddha hours after they had sat for dinner. Wukong’s limbs had been loosened with his favorite wine, he had been coming down from his more festive mood that had started the evening with his people.

Still, he gave the question some serious thought all the same… or as serious as the wine allowed him to be.

He answered her as he fell back, draping himself across her lap and putting her hand into his golden mane, demanding some head scratches. She obliged him as he answered her, his eyes shut and the smile on his face content.

“I would try to think about what could possibly be causing this body of mine to be so bold as to disobey its master.” He grinned all teeth. “If I came up with nothing, had no pompous trickster cursed me, had no imperious scalawag tried to poison me somehow, I would simply assume it was an internal issue and I’d open myself up to take an intimate look.”

She blanched as she looked at him. “I don’t presume you’re being metaphorical in your words.”

Wukong hooted out a laugh at her expression. “I take it Brother Wujing and my dear Phoenix didn’t tell you the story of the three insufferable Tao priests who presumed to be immortal?”

Bèiké slowly shook her head as she resumed his head scratches as his whined persistence. “No, I don’t believe anything involving Taoist priests came up.”

Wukong shrugged. “Well, it’s no matter, this Sun Wukong can happily give you a demonstration.” He jumped out of her lap and hopped to his feet. “Little monkeys! Go get this Old Sun a sharp blade! Watch as your great king demonstrates his greatness!”

Bèiké insisted he didn’t need to prove his immortalities to her of all people, she was there for the aftermath of Lao Tsu’s furnace incident afterall.

However Wukong was already too deep in his feverish mania to be stopped, he wanted to brag and show off, and so he would. Bèiké doing her best to not be obvious in her looking away.

She had politely excused herself shortly after getting him drunk off of his favorite wine again so that her departure wouldn’t be noticed.

Well that had been…

Graphic…

Fruitless in answers as well… she doubted ripping herself apart to look at her own insides would enlighten her to the answered she desired.

She couldn’t even hold a physical form for long, let alone focus long enough to disembowel herself. Wukong was mad she decided, utterly mad. Not that that was really surprising news to her.

Still…

As her heart thumped audibly in her chest, she laid a hand against it as she found herself thinking.

As the waters churned around her, and she felt her control slipping bit by bit as the sun began to brighten the sky once more, she contemplated…

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Bèiké huddled in a corner of her room, her head in her hands as her body shook.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, keep it together, you have to breathe.” She repeated that mantra to herself over and over.

The whispers were a near constant yell in her mind now. And much to her horror, control had fully slipped weeks ago.

And even worse, she couldn’t return to the water.

She was stuck in her human body, and as her mind and nature struggled to return to its source - return to water - it beat and slammed against the fragile, mortal shell like a vicious trapped beast. Shredding and biting and screaming.

It hurt so bad.

Her need to return was a constant pounding in her head. Her mind ripping itself apart.

Water acted now without her permission, her own body betraying her. Storms either ravaged the land or refused to hydrate the land entirely.

Massive floods and severe droughts were reported around the world. The loss of life had already overwhelmed the kingdom of shadows, the underworld was choking on the dead.

Fishermen, too, yielded nothing. No fish, no urchins, no crabs or shrimp, no octopus, not even seaweed were successfully caught.

And combined with the severe droughts and floods, the mortals were starving and thirsty.

And as mortals do when desperate; They prayed.

Prayed for relief, prayed for mercy, begged for something to save their families and themselves.

The gods, celestials and denizens of the sea did what they could. But fighting a never ending storm was no simple task.

The Lady Mazu had run herself to the ground in exhaustion trying to sooth the storms and save the people with little to no results. The waters disobeying her as much as they had sliced themselves loose of Bèiké.

Her heart thumped painfully in her chest, causing her to sob as she sucked in a breath that she distantly realized she had not taken for 7 minutes. Black spots littering her vision as her mind was pulled in a thousand different directions.

Someone spoke to her, the sound of the voice echoing in her head like so much agony, she flinched away from the sound and clenched her hands over her ears tighter.

“Breathe, you have to breathe, keep breathing.” She mumbled reminders to herself as she manually counted her breaths.

Thunder crashed far too close, the rain beating on the windows- against the walls, the clouds holding the city churning, the panicked blood flow of the guards and citizens,

Flood washing poor creatures away, areas of dead space that refused to be quenched, lighting striking the ocean in an electrified jolt, wind blowing far too quickly, the sun being blocked out. The world darkening.

Pain… so much pain.

She sobbed, feeling it all, begging it to end.

That voice again, more insistent, but just as painful. She shook her head and whimpered, it was too loud to hear.

She was only vaguely aware of the shadowed figure walking away from her quickly on hurried footsteps.

Her mind was beset by the suffering of those below, weak heartbeats, panicked breaths, last breaths, waters’ destruction. She couldn’t focus.

It hurt.

Help… She doesn’t know if it was said out loud or not. Someone please help me

“Some-ing…Done… this-ing t-.. kill her.” She couldn’t tell how close those words she heard were. She didn’t know who said them or what they were talking about. She couldn’t even focus before her mind was pulling her to look at the great western oceans, another storm violently being born.

“Stop… please…” she didn’t know who she was begging. “You’re hurting them.”

A twisting turret of water shot into the sky to connect to violently twisting clouds above, dragging life into it and breaking their bodies. Bèiké felt their violent, panicked end as she retched and gagged.

“Stop, you’re hurting them, stop.” Tears forming in her eyes, running down her face, staining her clothes… or was that blood? What was water?

Help me please, it hurts… she begged again.

“Shhh child, breathe.” Hands, somehow both warm and cold, comforting in their touch, caressed her face and settled over her ears, gently lifting her head towards the source of the voice. “Breathe now.”

She sucked in a breath as more tears fell from her eyes, her hands gripping the ones steadying her head.

Her eyes opened to reveal the Buddha, that smile ever present on his face. She was dimly aware of her mother, father and attendants standing behind him a ways.

She looked back up towards the Buddha, her breathing slowing enough to allowed some capability of speech.

“Somethings wrong with me. I can’t control it.” She choked out, her eyes blurred with her tears as she begged him to help her. “I’m being ripped apart.”

“Yes maiden of the waters, I know. I must apologize. I gave you a mortal heart so that you’d love the land. I never intended for your body to rebel so violently against mortality. You were never supposed to be mortal. I see now that even without it, you would’ve loved the land all the same.” His ever calm smile was apologetic, Bèiké found herself instantly forgiving him even though she didn’t fully understand his words in the moment.

“It hurts…” Bèiké sobbed, gripping his kasaya as she’s seen children do a hundred times to their mother’s skirts. “Please, end the pain, I can’t bear to feel their suffering any longer.”

She wanted to scream, but her voice was so damaged, her pleas were barely above a whisper.

But he heard her all the same. He waved his hand, and shooed all onlookers out. Which they did with varying degrees of hesitation, some being pulled out of the room, voices of concern rising.

“At ease child, I can’t end the storm, that’s something only you can do. But I can grant you the clarity to think your next choices through. For the next choices you will have to make are not to be easy.” He nodded and properly sat before her, still allowing her to cling to him in her pain. “I will take some of the blame for that, as it was my well intentioned gift that put you in this position in the first place. Water can never be mortal, I have learned that now, and I will not forget. Mortality only throws off its balance.”

He placed a hand over her eyes, his touch a golden glow. And with that glow…

Came silence.

Sweet, merciful silence.

Bèiké sobbed her relief.

“Oh you poor thing, you’ve been feeling it all, but chained and unable to be apart of it.” A pain pinched his features as he took on her burden to relieve her.

She fought to calm her breaths as relief washed over her. She tried to settle her mind. So much was broken, so much needed mending. “Can you break the chains? Can you revive my control” She looked to him, hoping for an answer.

His expression was one that made her chest tighten ever further as she felt dread hang above her like a damned sword of Damocles. “Alas, maiden of the waters, I cannot. And for that you have my eternal apologies. You have become too mortal… this body of yours… its yin and yang are too broken and out of balance. It will no longer support the job it’s been tasked with.” His voice was gentle even as his words were heartbreaking.

Still, Bèiké pushed forwards. After all, all problems had to have a solution… right? “If it’s the body that is broken, will it not do for me to just shed it and return to the waters?”

The Buddha shook his head. “You misunderstand me child, I speak not of this physical body, but your innermost core. The body of You…. It is not so easily shed.”

She tried to understand his words, what he was saying. And found she could not. “Auspicious One please, help me learn, I am dull-witted. What must I do? Innocents are dying because I’ve lost control.”

A sad look pinches the Buddha’s features. “Pitiful child, I wished there was a simple solution. In order to shed your core… to reclaim your identity as the Worldly waters… You must cease.”

She froze, it felt even as though her heart in her chest paused as a horrible understanding washed over her “…Cease?”

The Buddha looked said, but still he nodded. “Yes… cease. The Jade emperor is tasked with keeping balance, the core of the current imbalance resides in you… in order to quell the storms, to spare the land and break your chains, you must offer that core to him. And with its Oceanic Dharma, he can restore the world. But in doing so… you will cease.”

Her mind raced. It was an answer, a solution… but at what cost? Of course she’d pay it, it was one life compared to millions, the math was easy… but… “…. If I did that… mother’s heart would break….”

“Yes… it will.” He nodded solemnly once again.

The plans she had…. The people she met… “… I made friends, I made promises to those friends…. They would mourn me.”

“More people would mourn you than you realize sweet child, you have become beloved.” He gave her a sweet, sad smile. One that reassured her as much as it broke her heart.

“…. Doing this… choosing to cease… will that save them?” She had to be sure… because what was being asked of her…

She felt a breath of relief wash over her as the Buddha nodded once again, reassuring her worry. “It will restore the balance and bring about the gentle rain and revitalization of the world once more. They will be safe, they will be free to mourn you.”

She stared at him, biting her lip harshly as tears fell fresh, the choice made, her heart and mind settling to the decision she has made. “Then I will do this… for them.”

The Buddha was silent for a moment before he carefully place a hand on top of her head. “I’m sorry for putting this task on you child, please forgive me.”

“We didn’t know… we couldn’t have known. You’re not at fault Auspicious One. There’s no villain to defeat or to place blame on in this.” She offers a shaking smile at him, trying to be brave. “Just a duty to perform… correct?”

The great and merciful Buddha stared at her for a moment before he smiled and nodded, gently reaching to take her hand. “You are truly a Propitious and Filial Child. No matter the outcome, I shall ensure your sacrifice is immortalized. The gentle and tranquil Yìn Zhēnzhū gōngzhǔ, and her love for the land.”

Still trying to keep a brave face, but unable to stop the tears, she sat up straight and kowtowed before the great Buddha. Offering her thanks for both the merciful silence within her mind, and a solution to the great problem.

As the Buddha bid her to rise, she looked up at him, a new determination in her gaze.

“How much time do I have left?…. I…” her face fell again. “I must say goodbye.”

The Buddha nodded in understanding before he looked out the window and contemplated. “I can hold your storm back with my dharma for two days… forgive me child that’s all I can permit. Any more and your core will shatter, the oceanic Dharma housed within will be irreparably damaged and the balance will never be restored.”

Beike kowtowed again. “Thank you Auspicious One… I shall not dare waste even a second of it.”

He led her out of the room where her loved ones, her father, mother, her beloved attendants and loyal guard… even her dear cousin, Erlang Shen all of them were there.

She rushed to hug her mother first, and as she was held by her family, both her and the Buddha explained the situation.

It wasn’t easy…

Her mother had collapsed in grief, even her Sage of a father, the honorable and steadfast great Jade Emperor, let out a sob as he looked upon the two of them in horror.

“Auspicious One, I beseech you, there must be a way to spare my child. We haven’t even had a millennium with her.”

But upon receiving no such solution, He excused himself - after giving his daughter a hug and an order to come and see him tomorrow - to go and grieve in private for a bit with his beloved consort and wife.

The Buddha excused himself next to go and use his dharma to temporarily silence the storms.

Her attendants clung to her and her faithful guard bowed and wept. They asked to follow her and she was quick to forbid it. She needed them to aid in helping her mother. Because she knew her mother would be hit worst by this. They needed to stay alive to grieve her so that they would have her mother, and her royal mother would have them.

And her attendants would be well taken care of, and build their cultivation to become powerful ladies. They would become a force on their own so that they would never, Never need to serve another royal ever again. And her faithful guard would grow in strength, rise in rank, become a great general and never need to depend on her or another king ever again. She held their hands tightly as she made them promise.

It took convincing. But they agreed. Holding their chins high and putting on a brave face as they served their Lady dinner, prepared her room and vigilantly stood guard.

Her beloved people… she never did deserve them…

That left Erlang.

“Are you too going to convince me to try and find another way dear cousin.”

“…. No, the solution came from the Buddha himself, he wouldn’t have suggested it had there been another way…”

“Then what is that look for?”

“…..” He sat next to her and reached out to grip her hand. Fingers entwined, shoulder leaning against hers. “I can’t protect you… I am sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize Erlang,” she leaned her head against his, allowing him to support her weight. “Besides, my dear cousin, mayhaps one day you will find someone who you can protect, who will drive you crazy and be strong enough that you don’t allow those hovering instincts of yours to rule you… mayhaps one day you’ll have a couple kids, a charming family… a good life.”

She smiles and holds his hand tighter as she watches his face pinch in a pain that has no physical wound.

“And when that day comes, and you’re truly happy, and the sun is setting pink over an orange and purple sky, I hope you gather your children and sit them down under a weeping willow next to a gentle river, and you tell them tales of their silly Cousin-Aunt who would’ve loved and spoiled them so much.”

Tears weld in his eyes, the only thing refusing to let them fall is pride.

“That could’ve been us…”

“No…” She was quick to stop him in the trail of thought. “It couldn’t have been. We are too much alike… we would’ve fought and made each other miserable, you wouldn’t have been able to keep an eye on me the way you need to in order to settle your battle-mind, and I would’ve become odious of the way you hovered and restricted me in the name of safety… and deep down, I know you know this….”

Silence before a pained chuckle and Erlang used his free hand to pinch the corners of his eyes, holding his nose. “You would’ve been an awful wife.”

Beike makes an aghast sound in her throat. “How dare you. I would’ve made an amazing bride.”

“Just not to me?”

“Just not to you… but, I am happy we are family. And I’m happy I was given this time to say goodbye to you…” she leaned her head against his shoulder again. “You’re a good man Erlang. You have such a big heart. Don’t you dare let others take advantage of that okay? And when you do decide you want to take a partner, make sure you’re not blinded by your dedication and choose someone with a good heart, okay? Choose Someone who will love you back wildly and most ardently.”

He looked at her with red eyes for a bit before he nodded and leaned forward to kiss her. And though she tensed, she let him say goodbye.

When he pulled back, he gently caressed her cheek. “I vow to you that I will do as you say. I will carry your name… I will keep them safe.” He glances at her beloved attendants and guard.

Bèiké felt a tightness of worry in her chest loosen as she placed her hand over his. “Thank you Cousin… you have no idea how much that means to me.”

He nodded and stood up, going to take his leave before he stopped, and looked back. “You need to say goodbye to him…. His Birthday is in just a couple dawns. He needs to know, or he will carry that anger.”

Bèiké clenched her fists against her skirts, but loosened them as she sighed and nodded. “I can’t tell him when…. He will try and stop it…”

Erlang nodded then gave a shrug and a whistle. Calling his dog next to his side. “Then don’t tell him when… but he deserved to know as your brother.”

The Water Maiden gritted her teeth. “I hate it when you are correct…”

He smiled and left the room. The hound on his heels.

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Beike had two days… two days to say goodbye.

She wanted to spend most of it with her family, and that first day… she did.

Her beloved attendants and guard stood by her side as she was prepared and escorted to her Royal mother and father.

Together, they wept, and held one another. Then spoke of stories and laughed and remembered. She sang for them and performed for them one last time. Served her mother and father tea. Did her filial duties as a daughter.

Bèiké was unable to stop her tears flowing again as her brothers and sisters arrived as well, coming to embrace her and love her and say their goodbyes. Sharing their own stories with her, singing and celebrating the time she had had with them, with her. Apologizing for past arguments and disagreements, and showing remorse for not accepting her right away.

The Maiden of the Waters listened to them all without interruption, forgave the ones who asked for it and embraced them. Wanting to spend this time as family with no drama’s or petty rivalries.

They all did their best to enjoy the moment without acknowledging too much the impending doom creeping ever closer.

It was everything Beike could’ve wanted as a last day with her family. Forever grateful that she’d been adopted into it.

And it was done too soon, Beike looked out and saw the world in that stage of blue that’s common as the sun sinks that certain level below the horizon…

Day one was done.

She bid farewell to her siblings, sharing her love with them once more. She went and hugged her parents and told them of her plans for tomorrow, how she knew she needed to say goodbye to her sworn brother.

And while her royal mother wanted to spend her last day with her, her father nodded and understood her need to bid farewell. Placating his wife and asking that she only return in the morning so that they may spend some time together before….

He couldn’t finish that sentence, but the Maiden nodded and understood. Giving her word.

With that, she spent the remainder of the night with her beloved attendants and guard, sharing stories and fragile time….

It was when the early morning came about that she got ready. The sun still far from breaching the horizon as she made her way out on her cloud pavilion, her body still chained from rejoining the waters.

She carried a delicately wrapped gift carefully in her lap. The wrappings gold, orange, purple and red and shimmering. Colors that had reminded her of a beautiful dawn, something she had always associated with her sworn brother and his bright personality.

As the great Mountain Huaguo came into view, she felt her chest tighten in nervousness.

Sun Wukong could be unpredictable at the best of times, and completely irrational at the worst. She knew not how he was going to handle this.

She carefully stepped into the water curtain cave and called out. Some monkey Guai she recognized as a general raising his brow at her from his lounging position on the roof. She smiled and gave a polite bow before holding up the gifts to show him.

The general rolled his eyes and disappeared into the palace, Sun Wukong appearing a handful of minutes later. His clothes were not pajamas, though also not his royal regalia. He smiled at her, though his eyes were curious.

“My my! What a wonderful sight! My sister come to visit this Old Sun! And with gifts, a generous woman you are!” He wrapped an arm around her and began to lead her inside. “I feared you were stern with me! Such storms have been beating my mountain! Why, the young ones have all needed to find shelter in high ground! But if you are here with gifts, that clearly mustn’t be so. Though you must satisfy my curiosity Young Pearl. The sun is still a long time in rising, what brings you by this odd hour?”

Bèiké smiled, her voice tight as she answered him and allowed herself to be led. “I will tell you everything, my dear brother. But first, invite me to your table, let us sit. I want to see your smiles as you accept these birthday gifts before I must regrettably darken the mood.”

Wukong paused and looked at her, his smile dropping. “Darken the mood? Pray tell, why must you do such a thing? Has someone dared to insult you? Tell this Wukong and I shall have them apologize.“

Beike shook her head, and patted his hand. “Let us sit first, i shall tell you then.”

Wukong scowled at her vagueness but led her to his dining hall all the same. Sitting them down and getting a pot of tea on the fire.

“There.” He stated. “We have sat, and the tea is brewing, I have done my hostly duty, now explain.”

Beike tried not to laugh, for this was no laughing matter, but she smiled as she handed him the gifts. “Will you not open them first?”

He waved her off as he bared his teeth at her. “You stall. I am impatient young Pearl, what is the bad news you bring?”

Beike sighed before she pulled the gifts back. Staring at her hands before she looked back up at her brother. “I wanted to celebrate with you before I shared the news. I didn’t mean to cause you worry brother. But there’s no easy way to say this.”

She sat up straighter and looked her Sworn brother in the eyes. “Wukong… I’ve lost control, my body has rejected me, my mortality has run up… I don’t know exactly how much time I have left, but.…” she gave a shaky smile. “It wasn’t fair to not come and say goodbye…”

Wukong froze as he took in her words, his eyes searching hers as he searched for a lie, a jest, a deception. “That can’t be…” his hand reached out to grip hers. “You are immortal, that cannot be.”

She gripped him back, her lips beginning to tremble and her sight beginning to blur as she nodded. “It is so… the Buddha himself confirmed it. The only reason the storms aren’t raging this very moment is because he is holding it back…. But dear brother, my mind is broken, my body has failed…”

She shook her head her tears falling. “I did not know how to tell you, but you deserved to know. You are family, I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye…”

“You hush.” Gritted words.

“I wanted so much to celebrate your birthday with you, and see your happy reaction as you open these gifts… I wanted to give you a chance make peace with this.”

“Be silent.”

“I have failed my duties and lives have been lost due to it… I can never make that right, but I need to try and fix this. However I want to still say goodbye. It’s not right to just disappear-“

“HUSH!” Sun Wukong roared as he pushed her down against the pillows, snapping his canines inches from her face. “YOU BE SILENT!”

He shook above her, his breathing harsh, his hands gripping her wrists to the point of bruising. He looked down at her with golden eyes blazing, using his sight to see the horrible truth of the Pearl maiden.

And of course he saw that she was speaking the truth. Her very core was failing, her body all out of balance, her mind being held together by only the Buddha’s Dharma. Oh he knew the feeling of that power intimately well, for he was trapped under it for 500 years. And even that was swiftly breaking under the force of a torrent storm that was only just barely being held back.

His younger sister holding a power within her that was far too large for her current body, and he could see it was quite literally ripping her apart. An awful sight.

“I….” His voice shook as he is mind quickly ran through a hundred different scenarios. “Yes, an idea, I have an idea! I could sneak back to the shadow kingdom, erase your name.”

“Wukong…”

“Lao Tzu has a hundred different medicines, I could go steal a couple again.”

“Brother-“

“The immortality peaches bloom in another handful of days, you could eat them. I could mend your core! I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard! The Buddha misses things all the time! There must be some loophole. You are immortal, there’s always a way ou-“

His words cut off as the maiden leaned up and buried her face against his neck, pulling her wrists uselessly against his grip.

He shuddered and let out a whine when he felt her tears dampen his fur.

“You… you are not supposed to leave… How are you to leave? Young as you are, the young pearl that has slammed this Wukong with your waters in play. The skinny little princess who has stood up to me more than any of those celestials who dare call themselves warriors… yet you can’t beat this? How dare you…”

“I am sorry brother… you must forgive this Bèiké.”

“I do not! How dare you, you can’t leave. How dare you.” His hands released her wrists only to wrap around her and drag her into a crushing hug.

She of course hugged him back, Sun Wukong had always been steadfast and strong, even when he was angry or stubborn or doing something reckless he always somehow made her feel safe. To feel him tremble against her made her chest tighten to a near painful degree.

“My impulsive brother… please, I need you to make peace with this.” She rubbed his back as she did her best to choke back her tears. “I don’t want to leave with regrets.”

He snarled against her throat but refused to look at her. “You dare ask me to be okay with this? You are selfish.”

She combed her fingers through his fur, desperately trying to comfort him in the way his people do. “Will you let me be selfish in this? I want us to spend the day together, I want to celebrate your birthday early. I want to enjoy my time with my sworn brother and leave with good memories and no regrets…”

Slowly he began to relax and his grip on her loosened. “You ask a lot of this Sun Wukong Bèiké.”

Bèiké blinked rapidly at hearing her brother say her name, but nodded even though she knew he didn’t see her. “I know… I want today to be a good day for both of us… let your little sister be selfish, please?”

Long moments passed before he finally nodded.

“Because I am a good and gracious King and brother… I will do this.”

“You are a wonderful and handsome king.”

“Your praises flatter me sister.”He leaned back and gave her a look. “I… do not like this…”

Beike gave him a shaky smile. “I am not fond of it either… would you rather I left?” She asked genuinely.

Sun Wukong was quick to shake his head. “I would not chase you away. I want to spend the day with you. But alas, it feels odd to pretend nothing is wrong, you sit before me so it feels odd to grieve, yet I see your core shattering…” he rests his forehead against hers. “Would you be stern with me if I hid you away in the mountain where I knew it was safe?”

Bèiké closed her eyes and similarly pressed her forehead against his. “I’d be sad, because I know it would not change anything. You know that too… But… Thank you for caring about me…”

A growl rumbled in his chest. “I am your brother, of course this Sun Wukong is going to care.” A grumpy statement, but one that made Bèiké give a wet laugh all the same.

“I am so lucky to have you as a brother Wukong… the Valiant Victorious Fighting Buddha, strongest in the world. Brave old Sun.”

“…I don’t want to let go…”

Bèiké nodded, but took a deep breath and leaned back to give him her bravest smile. “Come! Let me celebrate your birthday early. No more tears! Let’s smile and make merry.”

It took convincing, and he wasn’t nearly as festivious as he normally was, but he eventually began to smile and laugh as they ate and drank. Some of the denizens of Mount Huaguo joining in on the merrymaking. Loving any excuse to celebrate, why not start the games early?

His eyes glittered at the gifts she had given him, the storm summoning whistle and the abyssal armor. He danced around and showed them off.

As the day grew brighter, more people joined in.

It was… fun.

Music played, the food was good, the games were chaotic and creative, everyone was laughing and smiling. One could almost forget that the Princess had a time limit…

But Bèiké could see when Sun Wukong remembered, he would randomly grow quiet and his brow would furrow. His hand gripping hers as if afraid that if he let go, she would disappear.

Bèiké did her sisterly duty and tried to ease his mind and keep conversation topics away from anything that may remind him. Today was about celebrating, sharing stories and making merry. She had even pulled him out to dance a couple times, both of them clumsy from the wine and making them laugh all the more.

As the sun began to set once more, the maiden of the waters knew she had to return…

She wasn’t about to lie and say that the thought of getting him drunk to the point he passed out, so she could leave without him noticing wasn’t enticing… but she ultimately decided it would be cruel to not give him a chance to say goodbye. And Wukong, seeing the change in his little sister’s demeanor and the far away look in her eye, felt his throat tighten.

“Must you leave already? Ba and Liu are about to get on the drums.” His hands gripping hers tightly.

She smiled sadly and gripped his hands back. “Come to the balcony with me Wukong… come tell me goodbye. Send me off with a smile.”

He snarled, but did so. His mind once again beginning to race as he thought of ways to fix the issue, heal her core…

And Bèiké gently tugged his fur. “You are going to hurt yourself if you keep trying to mend what’s already breaking. You have to let it shatter.”

The gaze he leveled on her was equal parts stubbornness, pain and manic. “How can you ask me to do nothing? I am Sun Wukong!”

Her cloud pavilion materialized as she gently held her brother’s face. “Wukong… I am hurting. My mind has shattered and it’s causing me so much pain… it hurts, and I am so sorry I’m not strong enough to deal with it.” She feels her voice choke as she thinks about what the Buddha told her. Takes a deep breath before smiling at her brother. “Those storms that are so out of control are destroying what is precious, you have always fought to keep your precious people safe. But this time, I have to be the one to fix things… you have to let me do this so that the pain can end.”

He trembled, his eyes squeezing shut as he let out a whine and crushed her in a tight hug.

“I swear to you… I will find a way to fix this. You must hold on young Pearl, promise me you will hold on.”

Bèiké bit her lip as she felt tears well up in her eyes once more… it would’ve been too easy to promise, to trust him, to let him shield her and depend on him…

But as she looked back behind him and saw the lives of the denizens of the mountain that were much more fragile, whom had already suffered and survived so much… whom she didn’t want to risk anymore than she inadvertently already had, she took a deep breath and settled her nerves. She raised her arms to hug him back. The monkey Guai who - from the start of his existence - didn’t know what it was to turn down a challenge.

“I trust in your strength Wukong… protect your people, I will never forgive myself if they come into harm when I am broken.”

He shook his head as he leaned back, giving her a hand as she settled onto her cloud pavilion. “I shall allow no harm to befall them, rest assured. You must focus on your own health. I will reach out to you soon.” He gave her hand one final squeeze before he released her and watched her float away.

Bèiké didn’t dare tell him that she wouldn’t be there to answer him come dawn, and she knew he would be angry at her for that. And she accepted that.

She knew in her heart that, should she ever be reincarnated, she would spend the next several lifetimes making up for the pain she would cause her dear brother when he found out.

She could only pray he would forgive her.

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Bèiké would’ve liked to think she was being brave.

To sacrifice one’s life for the protection of others, especially including beloved friends and family should be an honorable act. And an act that one usually faced with their head held high.

But Bèiké couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t trembling.

The early morning consisted of the Princess spending her final peaceful moments with her family. They sat in silence, both having no words to say and too many to voice, and just holding each others hands.

As the sun began to rise, the Buddha had called upon them. Guiding them to a location in the heart of everything where the ceremony was to take place.

While the world was still calm, the Buddha and his monks set up the area, blessing it and preparing it for what the Jade Emperor and his ever attentive obligation demanded him to do.

The storms had broken free of the Buddha’s great Dharma moments ago, the world was dark even though it was meant to be the middle of the day.

Her beloved attendants had wanted to accompany her to her final destination, but she had forbidden it. Not wanting to risk them. Their goodbyes had been tearful and filled with vows and promises. Beike was unable to bring herself to look back as she walked away, knowing that if she did, she would’ve have the strength to do what needed to happen next.

She stood with her mother and father on an exposed piece of land in the middle of the ocean, they were in the heart of the storm. The honorable and noble dragon kings of the four cardinal directions risking their lives to hold back the storm, allowing the Jade Emperor and his family to stand in the eye of it.

Bèiké sat in the shallow water where the ocean met the sand as the weight of everything crashed upon her. The whisper-screams that the Buddha was still mercifully holding back slamming against the barrier of her mind, making her dizzy.

There was no specific sign or signal that indicated what exactly needed to be done, but it was like a shift in the wind. Her heart pounding in her chest.

She looked up at the black clouds as the monks around her began to chant and she felt her royal father’s strength and power begin to spread over the world and demand its submission. And she felt herself begin to respond to its demands, even as another part of her twisted in defiance and raged all the more.

It was a particularly painful thump that had her clenching her chest as Wukong’s words reverberated in her head.

“If I came up with nothing, had no pompous trickster cursed me, had no imperious scalawag tried to poison me somehow, I would simply assume it was an internal issue and I’d open myself up to take an intimate look.” …. “Take an intimate look….”

“In order to quell the storms, to spare the land and break your chains, you must offer that core to him. And with its Oceanic Dharma, he can restore the world. But in doing so… you will cease.” The Buddha’s words echoed as she realized truly what she had to do.

Her breath quickened as she forced herself to swallow down her fear. She closed her eyes as the faces of her family and friends flashed in her mind. The pain of those who had been lost to her lack of control, the faces of those who would be at risk if she didn’t do what she needed to do.

“I will cease… but they will survive…” She murmured as she felt her hand break past her fragile mortal shell of a body, easily finding her own core. “The sacrifice of one will preserve billions, the trade is worth it.”

She grit her teeth and prepared herself. “It is worth it.” She let out a pained cry as she gave a swift wrench and tore her core free. Hearing the horrified gasps and cries of her parents.

As she held her core out to her father, and begged him to save… everyone, she quickly felt her strength fade.

Despite his horror, the Jade Emperor kept his composure. His strength and power moving his body instinctively to do what needed to be done. He took her core, the blood staining his hands, and the oceanic dharma that flowed within responded to his dominant presence.

He glowed as the wind kicked up and the sky filled with magnificent colors. Energy plunged through the earth and oceans as the balance between land and sea reentered equilibrium. Everything going back to how it was supposed to be and the effect almost immediately becoming apparent.

No longer shackled by a mortal shell, the waters fell back into balance and the world began to heal.

And as the Jade Emperor did his honor-bound commitment, Bèiké felt her mind settle, and the whispers fade. There was a pull to rejoin the waters as was her nature, but the mortal shell she was bound to still held her. She could feel herself fading, her body dying while still desperately trying to survive.

Her heart beating, her blood flowing, her breathing erratic. She distantly wondered if this is what mortals went through, the mind realizing what was happening while the body continued to fight.

The sobbing voice of her beloved mother caught her attention as she found herself embraced in her mother’s arms.

She tried to raise a hand to hold her mother back but found her body was no longer responding. And as she tried to respond to her mother’s desperate Pleas to not leave her, Bèiké found that her voice no longer worked.

As her breathing slowed, the clouds above them finally parted, revealing a truly beautiful view. A dawn of pinks, purples and golds…

It looks like Wukong…. Ahhh… I’m going to miss his birthday…. His heart is… going to…. Break…

As her vision faded to black, she heard a wailing scream that pierced the void…

Her last thought was that it sounded like the purest heartbreak.

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It had been sixty years since that day.

The world had long healed. The droughts had been banished, the floods dried up. The fishermen resumed their craft and taught the next generation and the next, and the dead had been buried and honored.

However, mortals still talked about the phenomenon that had been observed on the ocean those sixty years ago.

The magnificent lights and that feeling of protection and security followed by a great cry that shook the world. Most everyone cried that day after hearing that sound; mortals, beasts, Yaoguais and immortals alike wept.

But most memorable of all, was the utter lack of motion of the seas days after the great mourning.

Not a wave, not a breeze, not a current was seen or felt upon the ocean.

It was as though the entire ocean was dead.

It had taken around fourteen days for movement to circulate within and above the oceans again. And from there, life had returned to a relative normalcy.

However, it wasn’t so easy for everyone to simply move on.

The Victorious Fighting Buddha, Sun Wukong had stormed the heavenly palace in anger, demanding an explanation for the ocean’s state and to see his sister. It had taken the Lotus Prince, Nezha, and his lordship, Erlang Shen to placate and comfort the mourning Simian after the unfortunate news of her death had been shared.

The Stone simian had been leaving, intent on heading back to his mountain to grieve with his people, when he had been stopped by the still grieving Lady Mazu.

She had broken royal decorum and invited him over, offering for him to view her daughter’s memorial and offer some final words.

There had been no body, she had solemnly explained, for after her last breath, her body had melted and became water that fell through my hands… all that had remained were the pearls that had always adorned her, and I had collected as many as I could before they rolled and were lost to the water.

It was said that Wukong had broken down before the memorial of the Pearl Princess, though only the Lady Mazu would know for sure.

Though servants and attendants claimed to have seen the two afterwards sitting at a table and sharing stories. When Wukong had gotten up to leave, the goddess had gifted him a pearl that had belonged to the Maiden.

Sun Wukong had not left his mountain much after that, the king remaining dedicated to his kingdom.

Though, there were rumors that drifted around about how he and the phoenix maiden, and sometimes Erlang Shen, would visit that island in the middle of the ocean once a year on the anniversary of the great mourning.

What they did on that island, it couldn’t be said, but those who dared to venture near swore they heard the most haunting melody and a whistle that always seemed to summon a storm.

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What a curious thing life is… always finding a way to exist even in places where you would think life would be impossible.

Everything in life has a cycle, for some it’s life and death, for others it’s a constant journey of recycling.

Water is one of the latter, it’s always been here as long as life has existed on this wonderful world. And even before. There is no true death of water, for the water that exists today is the same water that existed billions of years ago.

Water is one of the true immortals, ever present, life bringing and ever flowing.

The ocean is old, timeless and ever shifting, No one truly knows exactly how old the Waters of the world are.

Deep within the depths, the waters churned and swirled in a circular motion, as if creating a cacoon. And as life shaped and formed within it, the beating of a heart reverberated through the ocean.

A light the shown down upon the churning waters, and a voiced ever familiar called out; “You have yet to finish forming, but allow me to be the first to greet you. Welcome back, Maiden of the Worldly Waters… you have been greatly missed.”

Upon hearing that voice, The Maiden of the Waters, for the first time in sixty years, opened her eyes and blinked up at the light above her.

She felt small and yet large, feared but loved, wild and free… and more so than before, she felt unshackled and eternal, endless and ever renewing.

She felt like water.

“Pray tell, Maiden of the Waters, do you know what you want to be?”

The Maiden felt her brow furrow as she thought, snippets of memory, some clear and some blurry filtering through her mind. A previous life, a mortal body… a broken mind.

She wasn’t that person anymore, part of her knew that. She wasn’t shackled by mortality, her mind wouldn’t break as that woman’s did.

Still…

“Maiden? My my, Do you remember who you are?”

The Maiden blinked back up at the light, and allowed her eyes to adjust, seeing the enlightened figure within.

She nodded as she answered.

“I am Bèiké, the Yín Zhēnzhū Gōngzhǔ, filial daughter, sworn sister, the deceptive Tranquil lady, The capricious and unpredictable waters… and I was loved.”

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ModPost;

AHHHHHHHHHH!!! We’ve finally reached the end! I’ve been working on this for two weeks!!!! All the art took me a while too. I hate doing backgrounds but it gave be a chance to test some water colored brushes I purchased and techniques for expressions and poses.

I hope you all enjoyed if you made it to the end! Let me know what you think.

I tried to proofread as I went along, but if I missed anything please forgive me.

[sukunatoes]

Sanguine

Chapter 6: Inconvenience

True Form Sukuna x Reader

18+ ONLY, MDNI

CW: Tobacco Usage, Very Brief Violence, Broken Bones

It was unbearably bright, as not a single cloud graced the azure sky. The breeze carried a slight chill, although it was still a good bit warmer than it had been days prior. Soft tendrils of smoke gently drifted upwards from your mouth with each drag of your cigarette. Somewhere behind you, you could hear the sound of the brittle winter blades of grass crunching beneath Sukuna’s feet.

The shrine you both just visited was yet another dead end. Not a single clue to help aid you in the search for the divine weapons. It had been just three days since your battle with the cursed spirit. The following morning when you awoke, your cursed energy had been almost fully replenished, and the two of you set out almost immediately. Since departing the temple ruins, you had managed to investigate four more sites along the northern coast. That brought the total of places you’ve now searched to six.

You continued your leisurely pace throughout the meadow until a small boulder appeared in your line of sight. Walking over to it, you sat on top of it and stretched your aching legs straight out.

Whenever you had originally planned this excursion, you envisioned it going a lot differently. Sukuna tagging along put a damper on things. He had often insisted on only visiting one location per day before making camp and settling down for the evening. Only once did you visit two places in the same day, and that followed a brief argument between the two of you. Ideally, you needed to visit three to four locations daily. Otherwise, you’d be spending months on your search.

Besides the fact he was slowing you down majorly, he was also why you had to sleep out in the elements. For whatever reason, the majority of Kenjaku’s spirits stayed south of Tokyo. As the southern parts of the country are being overrun, many citizens have been evacuating north. Cities, towns, and even smaller inconspicuous farming villages were being filled to the brim with refugees. Visiting any sort of inn was off the table as long as he was involved.

“I’m not surprised that you’ve led us to yet another dead end.” Sukuna’s mocking tone echoed throughout the meadow as he approached you, casting a shadow as he grew closer to the rock where you sat. “It’s quite pathetic, actually.”

Sukuna had been speaking to you a lot more since he and Uraume parted ways. However, it was mostly just him complaining or mocking you. You ignored him most of the time, only offering the occasional response if he began to show signs of annoyance.

It was strange. You knew it was due to him being bound by a mutual vow not to harm you, but regardless, as of right now you viewed him as more of a nuisance than anything else. Though he probably thought of you much the same.

“Brat, I’m speaking to you.” He kicked his right foot out, colliding with the boulder. It wasn’t strong enough to move or crack it, just enough to attempt to gain your attention.

You cut your eyes to him. His face was twisted into its usual scowl, and his cursed energy was slowly beginning to spike as he grew annoyed with you. One thing you had learned about him is that he hated being ignored. You assumed it was due to the fact that he chalked it up to a mere weak human daring to disrespect a being such as him. In fact, if it weren’t for your vow, he’d likely punish you for such a thing.

“So far, I’ve searched six places in total and found one clue. Considering how well hidden they are, those aren’t bad numbers,” you quipped.

You crossed your right leg over your left, allowing you to extinguish your cigarette on the sole of your boot. After sliding the butt into one of your pockets, you pulled your backpack forward to unzip it.

“We’re not going to get anywhere at this pace,” he growled.

“On that, we can agree,” you mumbled as you fished out a package of beef jerky.

That was another thing. You had hardly eaten at all since this journey began. With the exception of three salmon and mayo onigiri you purchased from a convenience store during a stop for gas, you’ve been living off of protein bars and jerky. Something as simple as going to a restaurant was impossible with him, so it was nothing but gas station food for the time being. Plus, with you camping, they had to be non-perishable. It was an annoyance.

You popped open the bag and reached in your fingers, but before you could even grab on to a piece, Sukuna stuck out one of his hands and ripped it from your grasp.

“Hey, I was eating that!”

He immediately plopped down on the ground in front of you with a huff. Leaning back on both of his left arms, he slid two fingers from one of his right hands into the bag. Pulling out a piece of the jerky, he shoved it in its entirety into his open mouth.

“I watched you pack another in your bag,” he said between his loud, obnoxious chews. He returned his fingers back into the pouch and pulled out two more pieces. Holding them in front of his face, he maneuvered the chunks of jerky around, examining them. “This food is one of the better ones I’ve had since reincarnating.”

“It’s dried meat, of course you’d like it,” you said with an exasperated sigh as you dug for the second pack. “After we leave here, I’d like to drive back to my apartment in Tokyo. We can stay there for a couple of days while I reevaluate our search. Also, that’ll allow me to clean up and gather more supplies.”

Your apartment building was in one of the wards completely overrun by cursed spirits. The entire neighborhood evacuated and was now considered abandoned. Taking Sukuna there for a few days should pose no risk to civilians.

He offered nothing more than a grunt in acknowledgement of your statement. With no opposition from him, as soon as you both finished eating, you’d head back to your car and be on the way. The thought of a bath and a warm meal was enough to bring a small smile to your face. You popped open the second package of jerky and began dipping your fingers in.

“On your feet,” Sukuna’s sudden command boomed out. Its loudness caused you to flinch. You glanced up to see him now pushing himself to his feet.

Now what?

“We’ll leave when I finish eating.”

“We’re not leaving.” He reached down and snagged the bag from your hands yet again before dropping it on the ground next to him. “On your feet now.”

Seriously?

With a click of the tongue, you reluctantly indulged him and followed suit. Rising to your feet in front of him, you crossed your arms as you stared back, awaiting his explanation.

“You’re going to use your cursed technique on me.” He extended his lower right arm towards you, urging you to make contact.

“And why would I do that?”

Sukuna gave no answer to your query but instead grabbed onto your right hand, forcing you to make contact with him. Your palm collided into his wrist and was absolutely swallowed by its sheer size. You’d probably be unable to fully wrap your hand around it if you tried.

“You need to learn the concept of personal space.” You attempted to pull your hand from his arm, but within an instant he caught it, forcing you to maintain your contact.

“Now.” His tone was far more stern. He was growing annoyed again — you could feel his cursed energy wanting to spike.

Despite your cursed energy being replenished, you frankly had no desire to provoke him. Especially considering it would likely end with you following his order at some point anyways.

You sighed as you tightened your grip on him and began sending cursed energy out from the tips of your fingers. His stare was analytical as he focused on the blue aura seeping out from your hand and into his body.

It suddenly clicked. He was attempting to figure out the mechanics behind your cursed technique.

“Ryomen Sukuna.” His eyes cut up to yours at the sound of his name bouncing from your tongue. “If you release yourself from my grip, your arm will break.”

“You only know one trick, is that it?” A smirk grew on his face to accompany his taunting tone.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. “More like this isn’t worth putting any effort into.”

He ripped his arm back from your grasp, and the second the contact broke, your energy began to go to work. The both of you stared as his arm began twisting and contorting. The noise was disgusting, and it took everything in you to suppress a shudder at the sounds of his bones snapping. Sukuna, on the other hand, seemed completely unbothered by the situation. His face never once betrayed any sign of pain.

“I thought as much, but wanted to confirm it. It’s your own cursed energy that you’re manipulating. The reason you have to make physical contact is to transfer it to the person or object. So that contact isn’t negotiable,” he said as he rotated his injured arm, studying every inch of it. Suddenly he cut all four eyes up to you. “However, if that’s the case, you should be able to transfer energy from any point on your body, not just your hands.”

Shit.

The fact that you could use the rest of your body to transfer cursed energy was something you didn’t want him to discover. It was one thing you had to keep up your sleeve to help level the playing field between the two of you.

If you outright refused to respond to his statement, it’d be a dead giveaway. However, if you vehemently denied it, it’d also clue him in.

“In theory, I should be able to,” you began, carefully choosing your words. You kept your voice steady. “However, I’ve never done it. I’ve always just used my hands.”

The lie you offered up seemed reasonable enough to believe.

Instead, a snort immediately escaped him. “You’re the worst fucking liar I’ve ever met.”

Your face immediately dropped. You knew you weren’t a terrible liar, so how could he always tell? Deceit and manipulation were a part of the specialized training you had received all those years ago.

Your upbringing as a sorcerer was far from a normal one. While others trained solely to hone their cursed techniques and fight cursed spirits, you were forced to expand your skill set in unusual ways. Deceiving others was something you excelled at.

“That crater I dragged you out of was a perfect circle. That’s an incredibly rare feat.” A faint white glow began emitting from his injured arm. “It’s unlikely that you did that from hitting the ground in one spot, and the easiest way to allow your cursed energy to infiltrate the ground in that pattern would be through your feet.”

“Astute as always, I see.” You watched as the bones in his arm slowly started moving back into place. “You’re correct. I can use other parts of my body for my technique, but it drains my cursed energy significantly faster, so I can’t fight nearly as long.”

You reached down and grabbed the bag of jerky you had just opened that lay next to Sukuna’s feet before turning around to store it and his empty one in your backpack. “I have a significantly lower cursed energy output than most special grade sorcerers. In fact, it’s likely on par with that of a first or even second grade. It’s both my technique and what I’ve accomplished in my line of work as a sorcerer that rank me so high.”

Turning back around, you notice his arm was now fully healed, like it had never been touched by you at all. As you raised your gaze back to his, you noticed he had never taken his eyes off of you.

“It’s a shame,” Sukuna drawled, leaning down until he was eye level with you. “Such a remarkable technique was wasted on such an insignificant pest like yourself.”

You offered nothing more than a grunt in response as you turned back around. Snagging up your backpack, you began your trek towards the car. Sukuna’s pestering could wait until after you ate an actual meal.

You heard a huff from behind immediately followed by his footsteps trailing you. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out another cigarette. As you went to light it, a shadow was cast over you from behind, completely engulfing your body.

You spun around, and a hand reached out, catching your shoulder and holding you in place. Sukuna was now towering over you, an almost unsettling look gracing his face.

“You’d do well to remember that you and I are not the same. At no point have you or will you hold the upper hand against me, sorcerer. Your secrets will not save you.”

With that, he removed his hand from your shoulder and walked ahead of you, disappearing through thick foliage on the opposite side of the meadow you two were traversing while you stood firmly in place.

What the hell was he even talking about?

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[depoemdawg]

Unveil (pt. 1)

Part 2

Part 3

Character: Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Synopsis: Y/N, the self-appointed explorer of Hogwarts, finds herself investigating a mysterious new Slytherin student and his unknown connection to the ghost in the Room of Requirements.

Author's Notes: Uhh first story! This just popped in my head and I thought maybe I should write it down! I hope you guys enjoy this story :)

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“Y/n.” 

“Y/n!”

“Merlin's beard!” I sigh and turn to look at an annoyed Ginny Weasley. “I’ve told you to break up with him, Ginny. Dean is not the boy for you. I'd even wager to bet that if you asked him what your favourite colour is, he wouldn’t be able to tell you..” I tell her, giving her a pointed look. 

Her eyebrows unfurl as she looks at me, her cheeks burned red. “I didn’t know you were listening…..” She slaps my arm. “Especially when your attention is glued to the new Slytherin boy.” 

“Glued to what?” I scoff. “I was not-” I glanced in the direction I was looking. “I was not, my attention is not on the new boy.” 

She gives me a teasing look, a smile creeping on her lips. “Right….” 

She had a point. Perhaps I was a bit too curious about the boy with dark curly hair who sat across from us, just a couple tables away. He had somehow already made a group of friends, no doubt with the most chaotic people he could find in Slytherin. Mattheo Malfoy. Not that he looked anything like Draco Malfoy. He had none of the platinum blonde hair, none of the pompous attitude. What he did have though, was an intimidating look. Apparently, he was a cousin of a cousin of a cousin. Entirely too suspicious, if you ask me.

“Don’t you think it’s odd? The minute the death eaters are found by the Ministry, out comes this cousin that no one ever knew Malfoy even had?” I whisper to Ginny who is entirely consumed in her plate of spaghetti, her favourite. 

Ginny gives me an exhausted look and wipes her mouth with a napkin before speaking. “I think it’s odd you would be so interested in Malfoy’s cousin."

I play with the food on my plate while thinking. “Yeah…” I had bigger fish to fry anyway. I glanced down at my watch. “Crap- I have to run.” I grab my satchel from the table and jump up, accidentally tipping my glass in the process. 

“Wh-” Ginny looks at me with wide eyes and a pasta noodle hanging from the corner of her mouth. “Where are you going?!” At this point, people started glancing but then again, chaos wasn’t uncommon in the Great Hall. “Next time I see you, you better had broken up with that boy, Ginny.” I say as I take a quick bite of my sandwich and jog out of the hall.

.

.

.

Where was it?

One left.

Two rights.

Was it two lefts and one right?

No! It’s here. It has to be.

I set my satchel down on the floor as I stood in front of the wall. The Room of Requirements. It has to be here. I had been looking for the entrance for months. When I finally came across it last week, I was faced with a new challenge. I needed to find a way in. 

I mutter the words from a book I had read about the secrets of Hogwarts. “must walk past the wall of Hogwarts Castle that conceals the room three times, focusing on what they need.” What did I need? Did I even know what I needed?

My sole purpose was to find this room. I had decided in my first year that I would uncover all of the secrets that lay in the castle. Every single one. To this day, I’d found a handful but never the Room of Requirements. 

I paced back and forth in front of the wall, trying to focus on my purpose. Room of Requirements. Room of Requirements. Was this even the right wall? Had it really been two lefts and one right? 

I groan and hold my head in my hands, sitting across the wall. I could not, for the life of me, get my brain to focus on what it was I wanted. My thoughts unwillingly began drifting off to another mystery that I couldn’t crack. What was the damn boy hiding? But, what if he isn't hiding anything. What if he really just was Draco Malfoy's boring, admittedly sort of cute, cousin?

GRUMBLE

Grumble?

I’m shook out of my thoughts as I look to see the bricks in front of me uncovering a door. “Woah…” I mutter. The door was huge, with intricate designs on it. This must be it. The door to the Room of Requirements. I hold myself back from celebrating months of effort and cautiously walk towards it.

Beautiful, green and black designs. A snake crest lay in the middle of the door, frozen mid hiss. My fingers traced the snake before landing on the handle. I took a deep breath before pressing down on the handle and opening the door. The door creaked open, I took one glance outside the room before entering the room.

The room was…..surprisingly small? It consisted of a writing table on which a diary-like book rested. As I looked around the room, I noticed multiple doors outlining the walls of this room. Where did all these doors lead? I walked towards the desk and picked up the mysterious notebook. As I flipped through the pages, each one as empty as the last, I heard a footstep. 

Startled, I dropped the notebook and turned around. No one. I scan the room for any sign of a human. “Hello?” I say in a firm voice.

.

.

.

Moments passed, no one replied. It must’ve been in my head I think as I pick up the notebook and place it back on the desk.

“Who are you?” A cold voice cracks in the room. I whip to look behind me and that’s when I saw it.

A man, ghastly looking thing. His skin was as pale as his hair was dark. His eyes held a bored, almost dead look yet something about him told me I should be scared. I noticed he was wearing a suit and looked to be in his 40s.

“I-I’m sorry. The room led me here. I don’t know exactly what I’m doing here.” My previous firmness melted as the room grew colder by the second. The stranger steps forward towards me.

“Who. are. You?” He emphasizes every word and I get the feeling he won’t ask again. “Y/n. Y/n L/n. I didn’t mean to intrude.” I let out.

He lets out a small breath that I suppose one could consider a sigh. His dark eyes sized me up. “You’re a Hogwarts student, are you?”

“Yes, sir.” I feel myself freeze under his gaze. Afraid a single move would get me hexed.

His expression let no emotion show. If he was disappointed, he wasn’t letting it show. But something told me, he wasn’t trying to hide anything  either. There was something almost inhumane about him.

“Are you a ghost?” I let out after a few moments of silence between us.

He stared at me, wordlessly.

After several moments of more silence which eventually felt awkward and not as intimidating, the ghost speaks. 

“Leave.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice, I nodded rapidly and quickly made my escape through the door I had come in from. As I left the room, the bricks slowly covered the door back up. As if it had never been there. 

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding as I leaned on the wall opposite from the room. Who was that? More importantly, why had the room sent me there?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know I make questionable decisions. But this was certainly one of the worst of them.

I crouched through the bushes, waving my wand around to look around the dark forest. It was close to midnight, the only time when a student could possibly even enter the forest without being caught. There was a certain ingredient I was looking for, an ingredient which would help me make the potion I needed to sneak past the guards and into the forbidden part of the library. I needed to find out more about the ghost in the Room of Requirements.

Before I knew it, my foot tripped on a low branch. It sent me tumbling down a hill and landing by the edge of a small lake. I cursed as I stood up. As far as questionable decisions go, this one had certainly paid off.

The lake was lit up by fireflies around it, the lake was astoundingly clear. Colourful fishes in the lake swam around in schools. I leaned by the lake and watched in awe. This was beautiful. Butterflies flew around me as if greeting me, one even fluttering down on to my hand.

"Pretty little thing." I smile as I admired it's wings.

Suddenly, a voice spoke. “Who are you?”

Bloody hell, that was the second time I was being asked that this week. When the butterfly flies off my hand, I groan and turn around to find the source. 

Mattheo.

My eyes widen when I see him standing by the lake just a couple feet away from me. What was he even doing here?

“What is it to you?” I respond, dryly. My guard is still up as I frown. It was not a good look for him to be here so late at night. Especially with my already growing suspicions. 

“You know me.” He says, his voice slightly amused. “I think it’s fair for me to know who you are.”

I let out a short laugh, almost a scoff. “What makes you think I know who you are?”

He smiles and looks away with a smirk. “You’ve taken an interest in me.”

I narrow my eyes as I realize what he’s talking about. He noticed me staring at him.  My mouth opens to retort some smart response but it shuts as I realize I’m the one caught like a deer in headlights here.

“What? Nothing to say?” He grins, clearly finding a lot of humour in this.

“It’s not the way you think it is.” I fold my arms.

“Then what way is it, raven?” His nickname catches me off guard. He puts his hands in his pant’s pockets, eying me. Waiting for a response.

“I just think it’s odd for you to appear in the middle of the school year. Especially with the recent arrests.” I say with an accusatory tone.

His smile falls, all traces of humour leaving his eyes. He stalks towards me, slowly yet threateningly. “You ought to be less nosy, raven.” His voice drops into a darker tone. 

I step back from him, my glare still trained on him. His dark tone striking me as all too familiar.

“What’re you even doing here?” He scoffs, narrowing his eyes at me. Great, now he’s suspicious?

“I could ask you the same thing.” I say.

Mattheo looks at me, as if debating whether to curse me out of existence before sighing and dropping his head. His expression suddenly returned to amusement. “Touché.” He shrugs and walks towards the tree line. Before he disappears, he throws me one last look. “The centaurs are lurking around. It’d be in your best interest to avoid them.”

Well.

He's certainly something.

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End Notes: Okay, I promise it gets better. The entire story is already laid in my head but there's no way I can fit it all into one part. It's looking pretty good so far! I'll link the second part on here when it's done!

[blondechariot]

~Broken Hearts and Loud Rooms Part 2~

Part 1 down here:

https://www.tumblr.com/blondechariot/780621662923227136/broken-hearts-and-loud-rooms

Part 3 is up now!

https://www.tumblr.com/blondechariot/781261975239983104/broken-hearts-and-loud-rooms-part-3

pairing: Reader x Jaehyun

Warnings: fluff, alcohol, jaehyun being a lil shit

“Would you rather have dinner or grab a coffee?”

“I like both, you decide.”

“Have I mentioned that I’m terrible at making decisions?”

You smile to yourself as you look at your chat history. You had been in contact with a guy for about a week now. His name was Kim Mingyu, and you had met him at a café when your bag fell off the table and he helped you pick everything up. At first, he asked for your Instagram. After some meaningless small talk there, he asked for your number. Since then, there hadn’t been a single day without you two talking. Now, you had decided to meet up properly, and you couldn’t deny the butterflies in your stomach. He wasn’t just insanely handsome and strong but also charming and funny.

Since breaking up with your ex, you had slowly but surely been getting back on your feet. You spent a lot of time sorting out his stuff, tearing up photos, and locking away every memory in a small chest in your mind. Your roommate Jaehyun had been a big help. After your argument at his party and your reconciliation afterward, he had really tried hard not to be an “insensitive jerk” anymore. He went with you to donate your ex’s clothes and even suggested burning the photos in a dramatic bonfire. You were grateful for his help — doing it alone would have taken you much longer to find yourself again.

You’re just about to type a reply when there’s a knock at your door. It’s Jaehyun poking his head into your room.

“You ready?” he asks with a smile.

“Yep,” you say, quickly sending your message before getting up.

The semester break was almost over, and it had become a tradition for you and your roommates to go see a bad movie and hit a bar afterward. You were already dressed and ready when Mingyu texted you, so you didn’t need any extra time.

You guys chose a terrible comedy that’s currently showing, and you’re sitting between Jaehyun and Mark with the big popcorn bucket on your lap. When Jaehyun reaches for the popcorn, the bucket wobbles, and a few pieces fall into your cleavage. You shoot him an annoyed look and start fishing out the popcorn with your free hand. When you look up, Jaehyun is grinning at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Need help?”

“Shut up,” you growl at him and pop the popcorn into your mouth.

“Maybe it was a dumb idea to wear that top to the movies,” he whispers.

“Why?” you ask, confused.

“This is why,” he says and tosses another piece of popcorn into your cleavage.

In response, you kick his shin and he yelps. The row behind you shushes you both and you blush slightly.

“You’re such an asshole,” you hiss at him while he rubs his shin.

“I could help you get it out,” he suggests playfully.

You look at him, shocked, and when he mimics your expression, you can’t help but laugh.

This time it’s Mark who glares at you both.

“Could you please finally shut up?” he asks.

You both chuckle quietly but behave after that.

⸻

“Never again,” Johnny says as you walk down the street after the movie.

“I didn’t think it was that bad,” Mark protests confidently.

“Are you serious? That was a complete waste of money,” Johnny grumbles.

You’re walking a bit behind them, once again distracted by your phone.

“We had coffee last time, so this time let’s do dinner,” was your last message to Mingyu, and he had responded with a thumbs-up emoji.

You’re busy overthinking what to reply when Johnny calls your name.

“It’s kinda rude to be on your phone while hanging out with friends,” he scolds.

“This has been going on for a week now, every day. She’s barely reachable anymore,” Mark adds, rolling his eyes.

“Is that so?” Johnny asks amused and leans toward you to peek at your phone.

“Smells like a guy,” he teases.

You turn your phone away from him, forgetting that Jaehyun is on the other side. One glance is enough for him to see your chat with Mingyu.

“Is that Kim Mingyu?” he asks, surprised.

You groan in annoyance.

“That’s none of your business,” you snap.

“Oh my god, it is a guy!” Johnny laughs.

“We’re meeting for dinner soon,” you say proudly, if a bit defiant.

Mark frowns.

“Didn’t you just break up?”

“First of all, it’s been almost four weeks and—”

“Second, it’s the perfect way to get over someone,” Johnny cuts in, looking proud.

“I’m very proud of you.”

You laugh but shake your head.

“We’re taking it slow,” you shrug.

Next to you, Jaehyun rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

You notice and give him a questioning look.

“Got a problem?”

“No, why would I?” he asks with a confused smile.

The others are eyeing him just as suspiciously. He rolls his eyes again.

“I know Mingyu… not a big fan,” he finally admits.

“Him of you or you of him?” Mark asks amused.

“How do you know him?” you ask, surprised.

“Mainly from clubs. He’s a friend of a friend and was there a few times when we partied. He thinks he’s super funny.”

“But I think he’s really funny,” you say with wide eyes.

“Great, then we just have a different sense of humor,” Jaehyun says dryly.

You pull a face but ignore his comment.

“I like him anyway,” you say firmly.

Jaehyun just gives a knowing smile that annoys you.

“What do you know anyway?” you mutter.

“Considering all the people you dragged home, I’m not sure you’re in any position to judge my taste,” you snap.

“Oh, taste? I thought you’ve only known each other for a week,” Jaehyun says provocatively.

Johnny and Mark exchange a knowing look — it wasn’t unusual for you and Jaehyun to clash.

You laugh bitterly.

“Still longer than you know the girls that keep me up all night.”

“You’re just making stuff up,” he says.

“Do you know what it’s like trying to sleep and all you hear is, ‘Oh yes, Jaehyun, just like that! Don’t stop!’?” you mock loudly without realizing how loud you’re being.

Mark blushes and looks around nervously.

“All I hear is that I’m amazing in bed,” Jaehyun says proudly.

“You’re disgusting. At least I’m taking my time getting to know Mingyu first.”

“Happy for you. Maybe this time you’ll meet someone you don’t have to fake it with,” Jaehyun says with a wink.

You gasp, outraged, and stop abruptly.

“I—I’ve never had to fake it!” you stammer.

“Keep telling yourself that,” he says casually, not even slowing down.

“You little—” you start, but Johnny holds you back.

“I say we find a bar… and put at least three chairs between you two,” he suggests, putting an arm around your shoulders.

⸻

It’s 4 AM when you finally return to your apartment. You’re all pretty drunk, and even though you and Jaehyun fought, it had still been a fun night. You first hit a Soju bar, then went to a karaoke place where Mark and Johnny had an epic rap battle. You laughed so hard you nearly fell off the bench next to Jaehyun. He had been drunk too, and at some point, he stretched out his hand to you.

“Are we friends again?”

You looked at him skeptically, then took his hand.

“Fine.”

He had put an arm around you and pulled you close.

After a few more drinks and Mark nearly getting into a fight, you all made your way home.

“I feel like I’m gonna puke,” Johnny mumbles as he kicks off his shoes in the hallway.

Mark stumbles into the kitchen with his shoes still on and opens the fridge.

“I should eat something,” he slurs.

“Please don’t mention food,” you groan.

“Water then,” Jaehyun says, taking off his jacket.

“I’m gonna collapse,” Johnny sighs, undoing his belt.

“Whoa, get to your room,” you quickly say, covering your eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Johnny says but shuffles off to his room.

Mark still stands by the fridge, staring at the light before abruptly slamming the door shut.

“I think I’m gonna—” he starts but clamps a hand over his mouth and sprints for the bathroom.

“Gross,” you say and lean on the living room cabinet.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun has flopped onto the couch, head tilted back.

“We should go to bed too,” you say, struggling to stay upright.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” Jaehyun mumbles, eyes already closed.

“No, you have to go to your bed,” you insist, remembering how badly he complained about back pain after sleeping on the couch before.

“Come on,” you say and offer him your hand.

“I’ll take you to bed,” you add.

He opens his eyes, giving you a pained look.

“I’m the guy here. If anything, I should take you to bed.”

“Whatever, just get up,” you mutter.

He sighs and takes your hand, staggering into you.

“Sorry,” he says softly, his hands resting on your hips.

“It’s fine,” you wave it off and lead him to your room.

When you push open your door, you feel like collapsing straight into your bed.

Jaehyun says he’ll grab water for both of you and leaves.

You quickly change into your sleep shorts and a loose t-shirt, flopping onto your bed as everything spins around you.

“Here,” Jaehyun says, returning with a glass of water.

He sits on the bed, handing you the glass.

“Thanks,” you sigh and take a sip before handing it back.

“Good call,” he nods and starts unbuttoning his black shirt, revealing his skin.

“Fuck, I’m so dizzy,” he groans.

“Same,” you whimper.

Before you can react, he collapses next to you.

“Sorry,” he mutters, frowning.

“I just… need to rest for a second.”

You just nod, exhaling loudly.

“Why is your bed so much comfier than mine?” he complains.

“Because I mostly sleep alone,” you mumble into your pillow, turning onto your stomach.

He laughs softly and rests an arm above his head, his other hand undoing the rest of his shirt to reveal his toned torso.

If you were sober, you’d be mortified — but now you just watch him, dazed.

“Has anyone ever told you you look like an Abercrombie model?” you blurt out.

“No, because no one wears Abercrombie anymore,” he mumbles.

You roll your eyes.

“Sometimes I really can’t stand you,” you grumble.

He chuckles, turning his head to look at you.

“You’re lying.”

“No,” you pout, opening one eye.

He smiles blissfully, eyes glassy.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you say and cover his face with your hand.

“Hey,” he says and grabs your hand, removing it from his face.

For a moment, he holds your wrist, then intertwines his fingers with yours.

Surprisingly, you don’t pull away but gently brush your thumb over his hand.

“We’re really drunk,” you whisper, although you feel clearer than ever.

He nods silently.

“Yeah, we are.”

You feel the warmth radiating off him, and your heart races.

You accidentally brush your foot against his leg.

“Sorry,” you mumble, blushing slightly.

He just smiles tiredly.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, looking into your eyes.

You sigh, feeling the sleepiness overwhelm you.

Slowly, your eyes close, and Jaehyun also gives in to exhaustion.

Your hands, still intertwined, fall onto the mattress between you.

You’re awakened the next day by a pounding headache and a stiff neck. Your hand twitches slightly, feeling the soft blanket beneath your fingers. You frown a little and cautiously open your eyes. Sunlight streams through your curtains and onto your pillow. The bright light hurts your eyes, and you slowly sit up.

As you turn your head, you realize you’re alone in your bed.

You remember last night — how Jaehyun had fallen asleep next to you.

You couldn’t have dreamed that.

You sit there for a moment, confused, your heart beating faster. Had he gotten up earlier? You glance around your room, but there’s no sign of him. You clutch the blanket a little tighter and shake your head slightly, trying to clear your thoughts. Maybe it really wasn’t a big deal — you had just been drunk.

Still, the feeling of his hand holding yours lingers on your skin. The way he had looked at you, the way his fingers had intertwined with yours — it had all felt so real. Too real to just brush it off as alcohol-induced nonsense.

You run a hand through your hair and groan quietly.

[lixiebokie]

we can’t be friends

idol: ni-ki x idol

authors note: things are starting to get interesting..

warnings: mentions of not eating, ni-ki and sunoo are both abit mean

chapter 4

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“god weres ni-ki he’s not picking up.” jay said staring at his phone after niki had ignored his call for the 7th time.

“ik if he doesn’t hurry we’re leaving.”

“who?” y/n asked playing dumb even though she’d been sitting there the whloe time listening to their conversation.

“ni-ki.”

“oh did he not tell you? his bike is broken he’s fixing it.”

“i mean he could of asked for me to fix it.”

jay said picking up his bag.

“wait, why’d he tell you and not us?” sunoo asked stopping jay from walking out.

“idk but at school he seemed pretty upset about it.”

“ni-ki showing emotion? you sure you two don’t have a thing?” jake asked snickering lightly.

“we can be friends you know.”

“whatever we’ll stop off at his house to help him-“

“no! i’m actually going to help him.”

heeseung stepped forward grabbing his keys. “oh well we can drop you off then.” he smiled wrapping arm around her shoulder.

“no it’s fine i’ll walk-“

“walk? his house is like 20 minutes from here no way.”

——

“what are you doing here?” ni-ki pulled her inside before heeseung, who walked her to the door, could ask any questions.

“well my lie must have seemed abit realistic.” she shrugged. “i just told them you had to fix your bike and i was helping and heeseung insisted he drop me off sooo.”

“ugh.” ni-ki sighed. “well you can go now.”

“or i can help you with we’re ever your going?”

“no.” he grabbed his bike about to ride off.

“you can’t go on that what if they see you it will show it was a lie and they already think we like each other.”

“what?” ni-ki scoffed.

“doesn’t matter but i have nothing better to do just let me come.”

“ugh! you better be quiet.”

——

y/n still had no idea about why they going or where they were going.

“so.. why are we going exactly?”

ni-ki groaned. “i thought you were gonna be quiet.”

y/n looked down. she couldn’t stop thinking about how heeseung basically hugged her earlier when he wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

he smelt so sweet, and his car had somewhat of the same smell. (with a mix of old cigarette smoke coming from sunghoons jacket)

she was pretty annoyed at jay for pushing her to the backseats to sit in the front. she wanted to sit in the front with heeseung but no she was stuck in the back with jake and sunghoon laughing about something ridiculous. she wasn’t going to lie she didn’t mind that much actually.. it gave her a better view of heeseungs side profile. which thinking back to it gave her a question to ask. but she needed someone who wouldn’t go twisting her words.

“hey ni-ki ik we aren’t friends but can i ask you something?”

niki rolled his eyes. “what?”

“does heeseung have a girlfriend?”

“what?” he laughed sarcastically. “why you like him?”

“what! no!”

“omg you like heeseung hyung!”

“no-“

“well he doesn’t but considering he’s 19 i don’t think you’ve got a chance.”

y/n kicked at the stones under her feet.

“well could you help me?”

“help.. you?”

“idk like help him notice me.. idk.”

“depends, maybe if your quiet.”

——

ni-ki fished into his pocket for his phone shining the touch in the pitch black warehouse.

it looked the same as he left in years ago. before the police found him and kicked him out his little hideout.

he walked over spotting a small signature scribbled on the wall.

nishimura riki 2k18~

written in cursive.

he knelt down looking at the old piles of paperwork left on the metal shelves. he pushed them out the way finding a small box labelled rikis possessions. he grabbed it brushing the dust off tossing the lid on the ground.he pulled out his old slingshot. ni-ki smirked remembering the damage he did with it.

“what you got?” y/n peered over his shoulder.

ni-ki stood showing her shoving the box into her hands before stretching his slingshot.

“okay bart simpson so we came to play with your old toys?” ni-ki shot her a cold look grabbing his box and throwing it back on the shelve walking around the storage unit.

he spotted a small envelope similar to the one on his bike. he took out his key tearing it like he did with the other note.a small ring fell out. ni-ki crouched examining it, he felt a small ping in his chest.

“nice ring, was that in the letter?” y/n asked.

“it’s my fathers.”

“omg well you better return it he’s probably worried sick.” she looked at him with big eyes.

“yeah i can’t really do that.” niki sighed opening the letter.

he games just beginning ni-ki..

the lock tree tuesday.

“look ni-ki i’m really sorry-“

y/n looked at the note.

ni-ki looked up to her. “this is a sick game?” he scoffed.

“the lock tree what’s that?”

“it’s the big tree in the woolands forest.”

y/n frowned. “why’s it called the lock tree?”

ni-ki rolled his eyes. “you don’t nothing about this town do you? it’s the tree people have their first kiss under.” he grabbed back the note.

“woolands forest is by school youre skipping on tuesday and going with me.”

y/n’s eyes widened. “sorry ni-ki but i’m flattered but-“

“shut up you’re involved in this shit now i don’t want to kiss you.”

y/n was going to answer but nikis phone in her hand beat her to it.

lee heeseung

ni-ki turned to find some more stuff the crazy person had left for him.

y/n eyes flickered from him to his phone before answering and raising it to her ear.

“ni-ki we’re at your house we’re are you?”

“heeseung-“

“y/n why have you got ni-ki phone? where are you his mum said she didn’t even know you two had left the house!”

y/n laughed causing niki to look at her before snatching his phone.

“what?”

heeseung repeated his question. y/n stared at niki trying to hear what heeseung was saying through the phone.

“yeah alright no well be back now, yeah meet you there hyung.” niki hung up rolling his eyes.

“what he say?”

“there at my house, going to mcdonald’s and thought they’d pick us up so we better hurry so they don’t think anything werid.” ni-ki rushed out y/n trying to keep up with him.

“riki are you still hungry?” ni-ki shook his head at his mother leaving the kitchen were he’d just placed down his cereal bowl.

“did you eat lunch at school? i got a call off your head of year saying you haven’t been buying anything for a couple of months?”

niki hummed. “i had some of y/n’s sushi today im fine school food is shit.”

he tried to leave the kitchen but his mum took his shoulder.

“who’s y/n?”

“sunoos cousin, she’s been hanging with us until she gets some friends.”

his mother ‘ahh’ “would you prefer to have a pack lunch then?” ni-ki shook his head which caused his mother to sigh and grab his hand.

she felt a ring which she’d never noticed him where before.

“where did you get this?” she asked with a sense of shock in her voice staring down at the expensive jewellery.

ni-ki would never have enough money to have one like this so her first conclusion was niki has stolen it but when she took a closer look she had noticed it right away.

“i found it at the warehouse earlier.” he shrugged. his mothers eyes were now watery. she slipped the ring off taking it away.

“i thought he took this with him. oh my gosh! riki! you are not to touch this! i told you to stay away from the warehouse you don’t want anymore trouble than you have!” she placed a hand over her heart and began to sob.

ni-ki was confused, he wasn’t one to hug or show physical effection so he turned on his heels and walked out while his mother was whaling. he felt bad he always did but he also felt angry. he found the ring so he should keep it. and he’s the only other man in the house so why should his mother keep it? his older sister rushed past knocking him out the way to tender the poor mother.

——

when tuesday has rolled around y/n had felt sick that morning.

she’d never skipped school or even a lesson before.

the days prior jay and sunoo had been teasing her and ni-ki for ‘wandering off’ together on thursday and she knew if they found out today it would just add to the suspicion they had.

she had tried to tell niki about how suspicious they looked but he just brushed it off.

“this is bad what if they call my aunt?”

“god youre so paranoid about everything.”

ni-ki rolled his eyes opening his phone and dialing a number.

y/n watched him wait for an answer in confusion.

“hi this is y/n’s father she won’t be in today she’s got terrible diarrhoea and vomiting everywhere, yeah okay. thank you bye.” he hung up looking at her.

“that’s disgusting.”

he smirked at her embarrassment.

“so how are we gonna get there?” ni-ki frowned to say ‘are you stupid’ as she looked down at the bike in his hands.

“yeah well last time i checked there’s only one bike.” she scoffed back at him.

“so?” he climbed over sitting on it before patting the tiny part of the seat still left.

“what want me to carry you on?”

“no, i’m not fitting on there.”

“im not going without you! you could go back and snitch the sunoo for all i know.”

she was quite offended but instead sighed hoping on the bike.

“hold on sweetheart.” ni-ki started peddling soon speeding up causing y/n to grab onto his waist.

ni-ki has a tiny waist y/n noticed. come to think of it she’d never seen him eat before. but she wasn’t going to question it how disrespectful would that be!

——

once the two had arrived y/n felt more sick than that morning.

“since you don’t know the trail follow me.”

ni-ki began walking off.

“oh yeah and you’ve been here loads have you?”

ni-ki scoffed. “you don’t need to know about my love life i could have been here a million times for all you know.”

nikis phone ringed. he opened his phone to see who it was.

“jungwon. what? yeah i’m with her why?” y/n slapped his shoulder he gave her a werid look before turning his phone on speaker.

“are you going to the lock tree?”

niki furrowed his eyebrows. looking up at y/n to say ‘what have you said!’

“no why?”

“everyone at school is talking about your both ditching and you’re taking y/n to the lock tree.” ni-ki groaned holding his forehead.

“where not going! make sure everyone at school knows that! and i’ll have their heads on sticks tomorrow.” niki hung up walking off.

“let’s get this over with.” he grabbed her arm walking off.

“someone must have heard us talking about it yesterday in the canteen.” that was true niki did pull her aside at lunch to talk about where he’d meet her, someone must have heard while walking past.

“well next time i know not to interact with you near another human life.” niki same making y/n laughing slightly.

“so does like everyone have their first kiss here?” she asked trying to make conversation even though she knew speaking to niki it would end in some sarcastic remark.

“i guess, it’s a big deal. there’s a myth if you kiss under the tree you’re suppose to stay together forever.” niki explained waving his hands to mock his words.

“do you believe it?”

“no it’s a load of bullshit obviously. but jay and his girlfriend had their first kiss here four years ago so who am i to judge?”

y/n looked at him. “did heeseung have his first kiss here?”

ni-ki groaned. “why does all our conversations end with you asking about heeseung? yes he did.”

y/n frowned. “with who?”

“idk, it was around 5 or so years ago with some girl named jiha i think i don’t really keep up with my friends ex’s especially since i was 12 at the time.”

y/n wanted to tease niki and ask if he’s ever been with a girl but she knew she’d be scolded and never hear the end of how annoying she is.

——

“where are they?” jake asked as jungwon put his phone back in his pocket.

“he hung up before i could ask.” jungwon sighed and sunoo walked back to the boys.

“what?”

“y/n’s dad rang the school apparently she’s i’ll.”

“did he?” jake asked confused.

“she lives with my family!” sunoo groaned pulling his hair.

“what’s got sunny in a mood?” heeseung asked ruffling sunoos hair.

“y/ns skipped school with ni-ki-“

“shit really? soo what’s wrong with that?”

sunoo groaned again. “she’s got a reputation she’s got a future and niki is gonna ruin that! gosh why couldn’t she have just liked you or something?” sunoo motioned to heeseung.

“woah this is ni-ki we’re talking about, sunoo remember that.”

“yeah sunoo it’s just one day you need to calm.”

reaching the tree ni-ki began searching.

the ground was covered in leaves and the trees were tall except one stuck very much out.

it was wider than the rest and was covered in carved initials and hearts of people who probably don’t even talk to each other anymore.

y/n scanned her finger over a few reaching a familiar name.

“sunoo and sichae? sunoos been here?”

y/n stood in shock she didn’t think her older cousin would do such things.

“yeah like our whloe group has?”

“so where’s yours?” she asked. ni-ki stood straight taking a break from looking.

“why do you need to know?”

“we should put our names.” y/n joked scratching the wood with her nail.

“what? why would we do that? we aren’t together.”

“omg ni-ki your a genuis!” y/n gasped with an idea popping into her head.

niki looked unimpressed and slightly confused at her sudden outburst.

“let’s date.”

“what?”

“no i mean not really but act like it, i get heeseung attention you get a reason to drag me along this little treasure hunt.” niki scrunched up his face giving her a disgusted face.

“no.”

y/n frowned.

ni-ki sighed at her upset face, he was wondering why he’d even brought her along it’s not like she was any help. “look y/n, this is harsh but heeseung won’t care he’d be happy if anything he’s been trying to get me to go out with someone for like two years now, and i can’t act lovey so it wouldn’t be realistic anyway.”

she bent down carving a small Y+H surrounded by a heart.

“you’re delusional.” ni-ki scoffed before picking up a piece of string.

he pulled it noticing it led up the large tree.

he tugged it harder causing it to drop and hit y/n.

“ow wtf.”

“maybe if you weren’t in the way.” ni-ki shoved her slightly to get past and grabbed it off her opening it.

it was another small note with a pen.

ni-ki, you’re good at this. is your little partner helpful?

moonstruck park friday 9pm.

“what? how do they know youre with me?” y/n’s heart skipped a beat. where they being watched? did they hear about heeseung?

“we’re going moonstruck park friday after school.”

“i don’t want to, ni-ki i don’t want to do this anymore.”

“i don’t care you fucking dork. you will go snitch im not letting you get out of this.”

y/n felt hurt. why does everyone thinks she’s a snitch?

“fine, you date me i’ll come.”

“you are so annoying. why are you so persistent on going out with me!”

“i’m not. but your the only boy i am friends with.”

“woah, we aren’t friends first and second heeseung won’t care.” he groaned walking off.

“fine i’m not going then.”

“if you don’t go i’ll just tell heeseung how you feel.” ni-ki shrugged not looking back.

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taglist: [ @yangjungwonnie @yjwxfxr @b3tt7boop @clampclover @cherrynh @larnieboox88 @heekiyapp9r ] purple means i’m unable to tag you

[jackactuallywrites]

All Seeing, All Knowing, All Loving. Part 5

Pairing: You x Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

Rating: No sex or violence

Warnings: Sad boi hours

Summary: You drunk email Ghost! But he’s sad so now you have to comfort him. While hammered.

Notes: nice feedback pls? :3

Word Count: 2,105

ao3 link:

One of the pros of working with the girls in the cat rescue is that they drank like absolute fish.

You all knew that you had an impossibly hard job that was riddled with heartbreak, so when you had the time and money, you would go out on a Saturday and get absolutely hammered.

It was astounding to you how much Marge could drink; she was a tiny old woman, spending every Sunday getting a blue rinse, but she could pound more shots than the youngest of you. She was the first home, not even stumbling as she got in the taxi, and after very little discussion, she elected to take Katie back as well, practically carrying the younger woman into the car. You and Helen stuck around for a few more shots, but you quickly hit the sweet spot where a single sip more would take you into oblivion, so that was where you chose to call it a night.

After bundling Helen into a taxi, you took one home yourself, curling up in the back seat and flicking through old messages and pictures on your phone. Out of idle habit, you checked your emails, wondering if there was anything from Ghost.

It was strange; he’d come and fixed your door as promised, but he’d been strangely quiet the whole time, as though there was something else on his mind. Usually, he was always making snarky little comments here and there, teasing you or even playing with Soap, but this time there was nothing. He just quietly installed a solid bolt on your door, as well as a Yale lock at the top, not even asking for as much as a cup of tea, and then left.

Since then, it had been radio silence. There hadn’t been so much as a single snarky, vaguely ominous email. You didn’t miss it. You slept a lot better knowing there was no one sneaking around your apartment or stalking you in the streets.

Yet, even though he wasn’t physically present in a literal sense, you could feel him like a spectre in the back of your mind. Every shadow took his shape, and every noise in the apartment at night spoke his voice. And that fucking infuriated you. He had no right to interfere with your life and then disappear. No fucking right!

‘Subject: Cunt

Ghost, you’re such a prick honestly I don’t even know why you’re such a dickhead??? No need!!!’

The lack of response irritated you. Granted, it had been about five seconds since you sent it, but he never usually took that long to respond.

“Subject: Dickhead

You have all the time in the world to stalk me and won’t respond??? Not even an apology?? ARSEHOLE.”

You stared at your phone as though you could burn him through the screen, but no such luck. He remained obstinate. The prick.

You gave up pretty quickly, locking your phone and stuffing it back in your pocket as though you could do the same with your thoughts of Ghost.

Thankfully, once the taxi pulled up to the block, the walk back to your apartment was short and well-lit, though it was a bit annoying to have to fumble with two locks to get into your apartment. Fucking Ghost.

Maybe you should have known that you would find him in your apartment. There were no hints that it had been broken into, but then again, there never were. Either way, you weren’t best pleased to see him sat on your sofa with the living room lamp on, nor were you pleased that Soap was curled up on his lap, purring loudly enough that you could hear it from the doorway.

Already, you were used to it. You didn’t have that same emotional fear response. Which was no doubt helped by the fact that you were wasted. You pursed your lips at him, your arms folded across your chest, “What, you can’t answer an email, but you feel free to show up in my house?” He didn’t respond, but Soap did, hopping off the man’s lap and trotting over to wind around your ankles, chirping happily.

Now that Soap was out of the way, there was nothing stopping you from throwing stuff. It took you less than a second to whip your keys at his stupid masked face, irritated beyond belief. He dodged out of the way easily, so you took off one of your heels, flinging it in his direction, quickly followed by the other one, both of which he caught. “Really? Throwing shoes?”

Ghost sounded tired, even if his reflexes didn’t show that. You didn’t have anything left to throw at him that wouldn’t break, so you just grumpily pet Soap’s head, “Really? Breaking in?” “S’not breaking in if I have the keys.”

It took you a few seconds to catch up, the gears in your brain a lot slower now they were all gummed up with alcohol. “You made yourself keys to my apartment?” “I installed the locks.” “That doesn’t give you the right, Simon!” “I know. I’m sorry.”

That threw you for a loop. He was sorry? The fuck was going on with him? You weren’t really sure how to respond to this new, softer Ghost. Even his voice held none of its usual weight; it was quiet, almost abashed. You would have liked to have told him to get the fuck out, that you didn’t give a shit if he was hurting, but that wasn’t you. Like drunk girls in a toilet, you were overly sympathetic, too concerned, too kind.

You didn’t want to, but you did. “Alright. Give it up. What’s going on with you?” “Nothing.” You groaned, “Can we skip the part where I have to slowly wheedle it out of you and just get to the ‘you telling me’ part?” He stayed quiet, and you groaned at him, “Seriously?” You strode over to the sofa in a huff, finding it a lot easier to balance now you weren’t in heels- though now you had feeling back in your toes, they ached. Soap came galumphing after you, so you picked him up and deposited him on Ghost’s lap. “Come on. Stroke the kitty and tell him your feelings.”

The look Ghost shot you could have killed. It was almost as deadly as the gun he’d pointed at your chest the first time you met. A different approach would be needed. A little more tact, which was hard, considering the whole, you being drunk. The only advice you could even think of was to get ‘Feely the Share Bear’ out, and you thought that might tip Ghost over the edge into outright murder.

Ghost spoke, interrupting your pitiful musings on how to get him to open up.

“I’m being deployed.”

Well, that made sense. Soldiers freaked out over being deployed. Hm. Was there another war going on? Should you be checking breaking news? “Is there gonna be a nuke-y type war?” Again, the look Simon gave you could have curdled milk. “How fucking drunk are you?” “Drunk enough to forget any state secrets.” Bad time for a joke, but you couldn’t resist. He sighed, resting his head on the back of your sofa, staring at the blank white ceiling. You went with the last thread of conversation, “So you’re being deployed. To where?” Again, he gave you a look as though you should know better than to ask questions, and you groaned, “Girl, I’m not some military-type guy, alright? I don’t know what I can and can’t ask.” “You can’t ask that.” “How about you tell me what I can ask then?” “I don’t know.” “You’re really bad at this.” “I know.”

Minute by minute, the alcohol was leaving your system, so you decided you’d get yourself a drink to try and hasten the process. That was your plan, at least, but your legs didn’t seem to want to coordinate. Your legs buckled underneath you, and you fell back onto the sofa. So much for that plan. You sighed and flapped your hand at him, closing your eyes and lounging on the sofa, curling up in the corner, “Okay, you go make tea.” “You what?” “Come off it. You creep around in my house like a burglar; you know where the kettle is.” “You want me to make you tea?” “Two sugars. Is sugar good for a hangover or worse? Ah, I don’t fucking know. You decide.”

You were in a wonderfully dreamy state, quite unaware of time going by, until Ghost made his return known by gently tapping your leg with the toe of his boot. You grumbled, but he held out a mug insistently, “Tea.” You sat up and then sat back, gesturing to the coffee table, “Set it down, would you? Too hot to drink.” You heard the soft clink of the tea being set down on the coaster on your coffee table— well-mannered man, apparently. You sighed and stretched out, then settled again, feeling the depressive effects of alcohol now coming into play. “Okay. You tell me what you can tell me, and I will definitely not fall asleep. Deal?” “What am I supposed to say?” You would have liked to have taken a more passive role in the conversation, but clearly, Ghost needed more prodding.

You ran your hand through your hair, “Okay, why don’t we start with why are you here?” “Wanted to give you something.” “Right, and what is it you wanted to give me?” “Card.” You were puzzled by that but not intrigued enough to open your eyes, “Like a birthday card?” “Not a birthday card.” You cracked open an eye to look at him.

His mask was pulled up.

Not all the way, but enough for you to see his jawline. Clean-shaven. Sharp. The soft lighting of the lamp hugged his jawline, emphasising the shadows under his chin as he sipped from one of your nice pink mugs. “That’s my favourite mug.” He paused in drinking. You could see his jaw clench. His fingers shifted on the mug, and he took another drink of tea before setting it down on the coffee table. “Can see why.” “Yeah, see it’s thinner, so it makes the tea nicer to drink, you know what I mean?” Simon pulled his mask back down, smoothing it over his neck and adjusting it so it sat more comfortably where it met the collar of his jacket, covering up everything he’d exposed. Then, he shifted, digging into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out his wallet. He opened it and pulled out a plastic card. His ID card. That was the card he was talking about? You blinked, rubbing your eyes to try and wake yourself up a little. Ghost was offering you his ID card.

You took it from him, flipping it back and forth between your fingers. It was the same one you’d seen before, with the scratched-out details, yet he’d removed the metal chip from the top. Smart.

You looked from the card back to him, “So, why do you want me to have this?” Ghost shifted on the sofa, and he rested his arms on his thighs, his fingers interlocked. “Just need you to have it.” “Why?” He shifted again. You tapped him with a tights-covered foot, “Why?” “I just need one fucking civvie to notice if I die, alright? Fuck!”

That did a far better job than anything else at sobering you up. “Jesus.” You needed something to do, so you got your tea off the side and took a sip, quietly mulling over what the hell you were supposed to say. What could you possibly have to say to a soldier who was afraid of being killed? ‘It’ll be okay’ felt hollow, as did ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine’. You had no way of knowing either of these things. Soap wasn’t even nearby to break the tension; no doubt the raised voice had him hiding under your bed. You were on your own.

“I will notice if you’re gone.”

You weren’t sure if Ghost heard you; he was still frozen in the same position, fingers interlocked around the back of his head, elbows on his knees, eyes staring at the carpet. It was time for old reliable. Physical touch. You reached out to gently place one hand on his shoulder, the waterproof material of his jacket crinkling slightly underneath your fingers. “I will notice.

For a second, it seemed like he accepted your touch.

Then, he abruptly stood up and walked out, leaving you with two cups of tea and a million unanswered questions.