#it's angsty but way softer than it seems I promise

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Day 6 - (ALT PROMPT) Bloody Knuckles

I meant for this to be for day 4 of Whump Week but that other idea was too good, and then I didn't have the drive to finish it until now. More risen demon au stuff!

Ping list: @ailesswhumptober and @whumperofworlds

TWs: blood, discussion of suicide/suicide baiting, death mention

Mariano closed his eyes, feeling Dimitri's fingers combing through his feathers. They sat out in the little creek that ran through their domain, the quiet rustle of leaves and grass in the wind filling the comfortable silence. Cold, impossibly clean water meandered past, pulling the otherworldly black blood from Mariano's skin.

The last mission had been rough. Dimitri had insisted on helping him get clean again. Blood still oozed from cuts and scrapes, dark as the halo that hung near the tips of his tall horns. They'd bandage those once he was inside and dry again. Dimitri's claws scratched luxuriously against the skin of his wings, drawing little happy hums and sighs from Mariano as he finished washing his face.

"You're really pretty." Dimitri said with no warning.

"...What?" Mariano blinked. looking over his shoulder at Dimitri.

The blond demon just looked back at Mariano, still scratching through his feathers. "I said you're pretty. Turn around."

Mariano frowned as he did, black feathers ruffling before smoothing down as he shifted. The water felt amazing as it started to run against his lower back, his thin tail drifting along in the current. Dimitri took one of Mariano's hands in his, dipping it under the chilly water. His thumb started to brush over the broken, bleeding skin over Mariano's knuckles.

Mariano didn't wince, even as sparks of pain raced up his hand. "What makes you say that?" He asked, watching Dimitri's efforts gradually reveal raw, aching skin under the glowing black blood.

Dimitri frowned, tilting his head as he paused. "What do you mean, what makes me say that? I have eyes. You're pretty."

The water's temperature finally started to numb the sting of the bloody knuckles. "I thought you hated me." Mariano said as Dimitri let go of his now-clean hand to take his other one.

"Ah." Dimitri said, looking down at Mariano's hand again. His touch was somehow even more gentle, claws not even coming close to scraping against Mariano's knuckles. "I did, yes."

"You hated me the entire time we were alive. Before everything."

"I did." Dimitri said again, evenly. "I thought you were a brat, and a wimp, and spoiled. And stupid."

Mariano was quiet, letting Dimitri handle him more carefully than he'd ever done when he was alive. "When we all woke up here, you said I should've just killed myself instead of trying to whistle-blow." He said. "What changed?"

Dimitri's thumb passed over the knuckle of Mariano's ring finger, feather-light. "I'm not sure." He said. "You wanted to haunt Luis instead of just killing him, that helped. I liked that."

Dimitri's attention shifted to the knuckle of Mariano's pinky. "I think it was seeing your haunting." Dimitri's voice got softer. "I didn't like hearing you beg like that."

"Ah." It was Mariano's turn to speak quieter. "I'm sorry."

Dimitri shook his head. "No, no, it scared the shit out of Luis. He deserved it." Dimitri's fingers fell still. "He deserved to remember what he did to you."

They both fell quiet, the rustle of leaves and the murmur of water the only noises in their otherworldly paradise. Their feathers ruffled in the warm breeze. Dimitri let go of his hand to wipe at Mariano's cheek, thumb working at a stubborn streak of blood.

"Come." Dimitri said, his hand lingering where he cupped Mariano's face. "Let's get you bandaged up. Manuel's going to be upset if we stay out here too long and you catch a chill."

Dimitri stood, offering Mariano a hand up. He smiled, the briefest flicker of the expression flashing over his face as he accepted Dimitri's help. Dimitri didn't let go of Mariano's hand as they walked through the field of sweet-smelling flowers, up to the home they all shared.

[r6eduss]

Girllll what if an imagine where S3! Daryl and y/n are a thing and when Daryl left with his brother, rick and the others were the one who told y/n that he just left and she was so devastated that when daryl eventually came back she treated him coldly then eventually breaking down in front of him because they think it's easy for daryl to leave them

Idk maybe angsty in the beginning then fluffy at the end?? This scenario is stuck in my head for D A Y S 😩

Anws thanks!!

Listen before I go.

•Summary: Daryl leaves with Merle without thinking how it would affect you. (Fem Reader)

•Warnings: 18+, Twd violence, angst, fluff

•Word count: 2.6k

•Setting: The Prison

•A/N: thank you for the request! I’m really sorry if this isn’t what you wanted and you aren’t happy with it 😭 I rewatched a couple episodes to try and make it as accurate as possible to the actual series. also I’m a very strong believer that Daryl would call his partner sweetheart 🤞🏼(I promise I’ve seen all the other requests I’ve gotten!)

Rick, Daryl, and Oscar had set out to rescue Glenn and Maggie, who were being held prisoner in Woodbury. Michonne had accompanied them, serving as their guide through the hostile territory. The operation, however, hadn't gone as smoothly as planned. They had lost Oscar in the chaos, and the Governor had captured Daryl, forcing him into a brutal situation—pitting him against his own brother, Merle.

As the dust settled and the group reconvened, Glenn and Michonne stayed behind to watch over the car while Rick and Maggie went back for Daryl, determined not to leave him behind. Against their better judgment, they returned with more than just Daryl—Merle had tagged along, at Daryl’s insistence. Now, back at the car, an intense discussion was brewing over whether Merle and Michonne should be brought back to the prison.

“The Governor is probably headin’ to the prison righ’ now. Merle knows how he thinks and we could use the muscle,” Daryl’s eyes locking on Rick, his tone resolute. One way or another, he was bringing his brother back.

Tension radiated from Glenn and Maggie. Glenn, still nursing wounds from Merle’s brutal interrogation, was barely containing his anger. Maggie stood close, her face tight with the memory of her own trauma at the hands of the Governor. “He had a gun to our heads! You really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol or Beth?” Glenn's voice shook, both with fury and concern for his family’s safety.

Daryl shot back quickly, defensive. “He ain’t a rapist.” But Glenn was faster. His words were sharp, cutting through Daryl’s protest like a knife. “Well his buddy is.”

Daryl’s face tightened. “They ain’t buddies no more. Not after last night,” he said, growing more frustrated. To him, this was simple—Merle was family. Family was non-negotiable. Why was this even up for debate?

Rick, observing the growing argument, finally stepped in, his voice measured but firm. “There’s no way Merle’s gonna live there without putting everyone at each other’s throats.”

Daryl’s patience was fraying. “So ya gon’ cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?” His irritation was clear. They were even considering taking Michonne—someone they barely knew—while debating his own brother?

The group paused as Maggie spoke up, her voice softer but filled with conviction while gesturing towards Michonne. “She’s in no state to be on her own,” The trauma they'd all just endured weighed heavily on her, and she couldn't understand why Daryl seemed blind to it.

Rick and Daryl exchanged a look. They had their doubts about Michonne, and Rick had voiced that, telling the group that she’s not going back with them. “That’s righ’, we don’t know who she is. But Merle? Merle’s blood.” Daryl threw the statement out like it should end the conversation, as if everyone would automatically agree.

But Glenn’s response was immediate and cold. “No, Merle is your blood. My family is right here. And they’re waiting for us back at the prison.” His words hung in the air, heavy with finality. Maggie nodded in agreement, she wasn’t about to let Merle, of all people, endanger what little they had left.

Rick stepped closer to Daryl, his voice steady, attempting to bridge the growing divide. “And you're part of that family, Daryl. Not him.”

The statement struck Daryl hard. He looked baffled, wounded even. If they considered him family, why wouldn’t they accept his brother? “Man, y’all don’t know.” He shook his head, anger and confusion swirling inside him.

The silence that followed was tense. Everyone stared at Daryl, unsure of what more they could say. In their eyes, the decision was obvious—but for Daryl, it was far from simple. Finally, Daryl exhaled sharply. “Fine. We’ll fend for ourselves.”

The words hung in the air like a threat, and instantly the group erupted in protests. There was panic now, a desperation to keep Daryl from making a stupid decision out of anger. “No him, no me,” Daryl snapped, his voice thick with frustration. He felt cornered, like there was no room for him to protect both his blood and his new family.

Maggie stepped forward, “Daryl, you don’t have to do this.” He looked at her, and for a moment, his hardened expression faltered. “It was always Merle and me before this,” he said quietly, the pain in his voice clear. He was torn, and it was written all over his face.

Glenn, still reeling from everything, asked a question that Daryl forgot to consider in the heat of the moment. “What do you want us to tell Y/N?” It was a simple question, but one that carried so much weight. They both knew it would devastate you.

Daryl hesitated, his gaze dropping. “She’ll understand.” But there was a crack in his voice, a hint of uncertainty, deep down he knew that you in fact wouldn’t understand. The group fell silent, letting the gravity of the moment sink in.

For a long moment, Daryl stood there, chewing on the inside of his lip, torn between his past and his present. Finally, he began moving, heading toward the car. “Say goodbye to your pop for me.” Directing his comment towards Maggie. Rick quickly followed, refusing to let this situation go. “Hey, hey. There’s got to be another way,” he pleaded, knowing how hard this would hit not just Carol but you too.

Daryl paused, his back still to Rick. “Don’t ask me to leave him,” he said, accent thick as ever. “I already did tha’ once.” Arriving at the trunk he begins stuffing supplies into his bag, while telling Rick and them to take care of themselves. He hoists it over his shoulder, glancing one last time at the group, and walking away with Merle.

You stood quietly, arranging your belongings. Your cell had become somewhat of a sanctuary for you, a space to shape, however fragile, into a semblance of back home. You carefully sat down on your bed, deciding that you were going to nap, until you heard a knock, and saw Rick standing just outside. His hands rested against the cracked walls, not wanting to intrude too much. “How are you doing?” he asked, his voice very careful.

You offered a smile, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “I’m okay.” It was silent for a moment, you could tell he had more to say. “Is everything okay?” Rick slowly brought his gaze from your face to the ground, wondering how he could bring the news to you. “Listen.. Daryl’s gone. Left with Merle.”

Your heart lurched violently in your chest, but outwardly, you kept still, trying to keep your breath steady while each inhale felt like swallowing glass. “Is he coming back?” He was coming back right? You two had something special did you not?

Rick’s expression was one of apology, his shoulders heavy with the weight of what he had broke to you. “I don’t know. He told me you’d understand.” Understand? Understand that Daryl had chosen to abandon the love you thought you both had? Without even saying goodbye?

“Okay.” You replied softly, your voice refusing to betray the devastation roaring inside you. You couldn’t fall apart, and especially not in front of Rick.

He lingered for a moment longer, “if you need anything..—“

“I’ll be fine, Rick. Thank you.”

He gave you a solemn nod before stepping back into the hallway, the silence in your cell feeling almost suffocating. You sat frozen for a very long moment, staring at ceiling. Then, like a dam breaking, the tears came, hot and unbidden, blurring your vision as the enormity of it all crashed down on you. You sank onto your bed, your body shaking with silent sobs and your heart aching in ways you hadn’t expected. You’ve always known that Daryl was complicated, guarded.. but why did he leave? Were you not important enough to him? Did you really mean that little? A hundred questions burned in your mind, and none of them had answers.

It felt like an eternity before the next day finally arrived. The night had been restless, your mind circling endlessly around one thing, and that one thing was Daryl. The way he had just stood up and left you behind, it left a pit in your stomach that only deepened with each passing hour. But today, you had bigger problems, problems that made personal heartache seem almost insignificant.

Glenn was gone, in attempts to clear his mind. With Daryl gone and Rick wandering crazy town, he was the next in charge, and right now he had a lot of pent up anger on what the governor did to Maggie. But of course, while he was gone, the Governor had made his move, and it was brutal. His forces stormed the prison with a cold, ruthless efficiency, and everything erupted before you had time to prepare. Axel was the first to fall, a sharp crack of gunfire cutting through the air as he crumpled to the ground, lifeless. Carol, who had been standing just beside him, let out a sharp cry of shock. In a heartbeat she ducked behind Axel’s now motionless body, using him as a shield.

Bullets ripped through the air, the deafening sound of gunfire filling the space as you scrambled for cover. You crouched behind the crumbling remains of the prison walls that were near the gate, heart hammering in your chest, adrenaline surging through your veins. You clutched your rifle tightly, hands shaking slightly as you peeked out from behind the wall, eyes scanning for targets.

There. One of the Governor's men was in your line of sight, crouched low, his rifle trained on the courtyard. Without hesitating, you aimed and pulled the trigger. The recoil jolted your body, but you didn't wait to see if you hit your mark. You ducked back behind the wall, the echo of gunfire ringing in your ears. Around you, The group fought just as hard, each of them locked in their own battles.

As you leaned out again, carefully scanning for your target who you hadn’t known already retreated, your eyes fell on Herschel, who was still exposed in the courtyard. Rick, positioned just outside the fences, was also in a precarious situation. At that moment, the Governor and his men launched an assault, sending a car to smash through the courtyard fence. Herschel, crouched in the field with his rifle, began to feel the weight on him as walkers started to flood in from every direction.

The fear was palpable among you, Rick, and especially Maggie as you all dreaded the possibility of losing Herschel. Just as the Governor began to leave, Glenn had returned, driving into the courtyard while Michonne followed the truck, cutting through the walkers that stood in her way. Their intervention was a lifesaver; they quickly rescued Herschel, escorting him into the truck and out of the courtyard, into the safety of the prison gates.

Outside, Rick was struggling to fend off the relentless walkers closing in on him. Just when things seemed dire, a bolt flew through the air, striking the head of the walker attacking Rick. Daryl and Merle had returned, joining forces with Rick to clear the remaining walkers. Daryl and the rest of your family were okay.. and that’s all you needed to know before bolting back toward your cell, trying your best to avoid the archer in the process.

A couple hours later you found yourself sat on your bed, running your fingers absentmindedly over the pages of an old journal you started keeping. Without looking up, you could heard the familiar sound of boots shuffling just outside your cell. Daryl stood awkwardly in the doorway, his hand brushing against the frame of the cell, his shoulders hunched slightly as though the weight of the world rested on them. He didn’t say anything at first, just stood there, the air between them thick with tension.

"Hey," he muttered finally, his voice gravelly and hesitant.

You looked up at him then, your expression unreadable. Daryl shifted his weight, uncomfortable under your gaze. Without a word, you stood and brushed past him, your shoulder grazing his as you walked out of the cell. Daryl flinched at the contact, his jaw tightening. The cold shoulder hit him harder than any words could have, and as he watched you walk away, he felt the guilt gnawing at his insides.

The distance between you two only grew more unbearable. As the days flew by, you continued to ignore him, feeling as if he didn’t deserve your attention, while Daryl found himself missing the soft touch of your hand, the warmth you brought into his life that no one else ever could. He couldn’t stay away any longer. He needed to fix this.

He found you sitting on the edge of your bed again, scribbling quietly in your journal like yesterday, not looking up when he entered, just blatantly ignoring him.

"Damn it, why’re ya avoidin’ me?" His frustration finally boiled over, his voice harsher than he meant it to be. You paused, setting the journal down slowly before looking up at him with steely eyes, the walls around you finally beginning to crack. "Why did you leave, Daryl?" Your was voice trembling but controlled, laced with anger. "Was it that easy?"

Daryl froze, his usual tough exterior faltering. He wasn’t used to being confronted like this, especially by you. He fidgeted, biting the inside of his lip. "It ain’t like that… Merle— he’s my blood."

"And what am I, Daryl?" You instantly snapped, voice rising higher as your emotions spilled over. "Why was it so easy for you to leave me? You didn’t even say goodbye. Did you not care?" Daryl’s gaze fell to the ground, avoiding yours at all costs. “I wasn’t thinkin’ straight”

Your eyes instantly widened in disbelief and hurt. “You left me here, alone, when I thought we had something! You weren’t even clear headed enough to think about how it would affect me!” Daryl flinched at edge of your voice. “I didn’t know what to do! I was tryin’ to do what I thought was right.”

You stood up abruptly, your anger radiating off you. “What was right?! You think abandoning me without a word is doing what’s right? Why’d you even come back if clearly all you needed was Merle.”

Your words cut deeper than any wound he’d ever taken. He stood there, staring at you, the silence stretching painfully between you both. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I came back 'cause I realized I love ya."

Your heart fluttered at his words, the anger in your eyes softening, though the hurt was still there. For a very long pause you just stared at him, scanning his eyes for any possible doubt for what he just admitted to you. “..Actually?” You really couldn’t believe it, you never thought he’d be the one to say those words first, but he did. All You wanted to do was stay mad, to push him away for making you feel like you didn’t matter, but the vulnerability in his voice stopped you. He again chewed the inside of his lips and nodded slowly to answer your question. "I’m sorry." he mumbled, looking down. He looked like he was about to cry, and in that very moment you just wanted to nurture him.

So without thinking, you closed the distance and wrapped your arms around him. Daryl tensed at first, his back stiffening at the unexpected embrace, but after a moment, he slowly relaxed, his arms wrapping around you in return and leaning down into your neck, feeling comfortable and safe.

"I love you too.. but don’t ever leave me again."

Daryl leaned back and pressed a gentle kiss onto your forehead, lingering just for a moment. “I won’t, sweetheart.”

And that was a promise he’d never break. Not for anybody.

@vampiresluv

[pomefioredove]

i crave angst and hurt/comfort/fluff maybe something like that with vil? maybe reader gets hurt pretty badly or something and vil gets upset?? hehe angsty scenarios>>

on my hands and knees rn... vil... save me vil...

summary: anger is an ugly emotion type of post: fic characters: vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, angsty..... mentions of bullying/abuse etc?? very open ended you can interpret that how you please, GOD this is indulgent

Anger is an ugly emotion.

So much is true even for Vil Schoenheit. If you asked him, there is nothing more undignified than losing your composure in front of others, especially those under your care.

No, Vil keeps such emotions to himself. If he feels the need to get a point across, or to settle a conflict, he will do so with grace and dignity. He won't even break a nail.

This is different.

This is seeing you turn away from him with tears in your eyes, and feeling as if the very world itself is crashing down around him.

He cannot stand it.

He cannot stand seeing you like this.

It shakes him to his very core. You've had bad days, evenings where you come crawling into Pomefiore looking as if the world had chewed you up and spit you back out at his feet, and he's tended to it.

He's combed your hair, cleaned the dirt out from under you nails, bandaged your paper cuts with a sort of gentleness he doesn't even reserve for himself, made you look new and whole again.

Vil can't help with this.

It drives him mad. It makes him feel like he's stuck inside his own ribcage with nothing but the sound of his beating heart, trapped in a flurry of confusion and anxiety.

He wishes you would just talk about it. It would make everything so much easier if you would let him help.

But he won't pressure you. He couldn't bring himself to. And, quite frankly, if he knew even the slightest detail about whomever had been making you feel this way, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to stop himself from finding them and mincing them to shreds.

As they deserved.

But Vil is not one to rush into anything. He is patient, cordial, taking his sweet time to understand a problem from all angles before enacting a solution.

And so, he doesn't ask.

He holds your chin between his delicate fingers and dabs at the corners of your eyes, hoping to brush away your misery along with your tears.

You sniffle. It's not a pretty sight- you're certainly no graceful crier.

He couldn't care less.

The only thing that Vil can think of now is how only one measly person could be your undoing.

After everything you've been through without even breaking a sweat, all it took were a few too-familiar words to melt you into a pool of bad memories and misery at his feet.

Sevens help whichever poor fool had done this to you.

"Now, now. That's alright," he coos, wiping your cheeks just as a new barrage of tears runs down them. "Don't worry about a thing."

You just barely manage to choke out a response. "I'm sorry, this is- this is embarrassing,"

"Nonsense. You have nothing to feel bad for. I promise I won't utter a word of this to the others,"

He cups your face in his palms, giving you a moment to compose yourself.

"Deep breaths," he instructs. "Seven seconds in, hold it, for just a moment, and then seven seconds out. There. Excellent job."

It's quiet. The sound of sobs and his own heart pounding seem to fade into quiet breaths shared between the both of you.

"Good," he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs. A repetitive, soothing motion. "How do you feel?"

"Guilty," you say. "I didn't mean to ruin your evening."

"You've ruined nothing. You're very important to me, you know. I would never want you to think I'm too busy for you," he offers a smile. "Now, how do you feel?"

You're quiet for a moment, likely mulling over his words. Your voice is softer when you reply. "Tired,"

"Oh... you poor thing. I can't have you dead on your feet tomorrow, now, can I?"

You shake your head.

He stands, pulling you up with him. "Come along, then. Let's get you to bed. I'll help,"

He begins guiding you away from the couch you'd spent the better half of the evening sobbing on. You respond in a quiet voice.

"Vil?"

"Mm? Yes?"

"You promise you won't say anything about this to the others?"

A look of utter softness crosses his face at your request, and he smiles again. "My lips are sealed,"

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Intro🔞

Unrequited love can be oh-so painful, especially as a hopeless romantic like Jeon Jungkook. You're supposed to just momentarily soothe his aching heart and take his mind off of things- but something about you just draws him in...

Tags/Warnings: Punk!Jungkook, strangers to lovers, Stereotypes, description of Unrequited love, romance, accidental flirting, some angst, major fluff, smut

Length: 2k Words

There is no taglist for this fic.

A/N: this was supposed to be an angsty oneshot. Thanks to @euphoricfilter I decided to make it a softer series instead.

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Jungkook doesn't really know you. 

He knows that you don't like wearing pants, which is why you wear a simple cotton dress tonight despite the weather outside. You layered a sweater over it, and you wear fluffy overknee socks and boots- everything cute, a little oversized, giving you an overall soft appearance. He also knows that you don't really want to be here, that you accompanied a friend but that she went to make out with some boy she had her eyes on the entire night. And he knows your age, your name, and that you have a very nice voice. 

A voice currently whimpering against his ear, as he holds your thighs to keep you propped up against the wall while he thrusts his hips into you. He didn't really think much of it when you suggested this, and he definitely didn't think much of it when he agreed- after all, looks are just looks, down the line, and just because you don't look the part doesn't mean you can't be a little wild. 

What he did not expect was for you to turn out to taste so sweet- the entire ordeal of just a quick fuck feeling like something much more than he's used to. You're supposed to just take his mind off of his long time crush currently probably getting railed in the car outside- and you're doing much more than that. 

It’s like you’re giving him something entirely new to think about. Like you’re someone capable of filling her place in his head. 

Your hands on his shoulders, fingers digging into his leather jacket. The warm skin of your thighs, feeling just so good in his hands. And not to mention that clench of your core around his length, making him feel sensitive even despite the condom he wears. 

"What if you just find someone else, too?" You'd wondered at him at the bar earlier, cheek a little squished as you rested your face on one of your hands, looking at him. "She clearly doesn't want you from what I can tell. So stop pining after someone who doesn't see you." You'd boldly stated, throwing the bucket of cold water over his head- shaking him awake, in a way, because no one's really put it out in the open like that to him up until you. It's tough to hear it, but it's the truth- and you're right. 

He needed a distraction. And you seemed to be the perfect opportunity. 

Lucy had always kept him close- dangling him from a string in front of her heart, never letting him reach it- because it had always been closed off, her interest more in what she could gain from him, and not what she could give him as well. She clearly only really kept him close so he could do things for her- help her move, build up furniture, take care of her cat multiple times a week, even buy her things. Jungkook paid for her rent for half a year- simply because he wanted to show her that he was in it with a full and honest heart. 

He wanted her to see him. But just like you said, she doesn't. Because she doesn't want to see him. She doesn't want him. 

"And where would I find someone else?" Jungkook had asked, eyes finding yours as you'd shrugged. 

"Can't promise you a mind-blowing experience-" You'd told him, one of your legs moving forward to playfully kick his boot. "-but I'm right here." 

And right here you are. 

You smell really nice- he realizes that as he rests his head in the crook of your neck, your skin flushed and hot against his lips. He's not sure why he feels almost guilty taking you like this- you seem more like someone who deserves a romantic date night and then a good long slow-fuck in an actual bedroom, not some underground club storage room. You're currently single, and he knows that from you as well, but he's sure that you won't have any trouble finding someone in the near future. 

Though the thought of it makes him a little.. Upset, almost. Jealous? 

"You close?" He growls into your neck, and you simply nod in response, making him chuckle. You seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing, but you're actually kind of cute in this moment. He's, despite his looks, not one to usually do these kinds of things- he's a romantic, even if it's more of an unconventional one. He craves something real and authentic, something that knocks the breath out of his lungs and swallows his heart whole.  

Huh. 

Maybe under different circumstances, you could've been just that for him. He can imagine falling for you if you'd met sooner, or in a different situation- you seem very nice, with a laid back personality added to it. Your pretty face and pretty body is just an added bonus- and he feels a bit disappointed knowing he'll never see you fully nude.

What could you be hiding underneath those clothes? 

For sure something to be worshipped, a body meant to be made love to and not this right now. But you're already at the end, as he bites his lips and pushes you over the edge, your fingers clawing at his leather jacket as you weakly whimper out in pleasure, his own high a lot softer than yours. That doesn't mean it's any less fulfilling- in fact it's a pretty damn good one, drawn out, making the muscles in his thighs stutter a bit as he holds you up for a bit longer, before he slowly sets you back down to your feet.  

You avoid looking at him now. He wonders if you regret it.  

But is that really any of his business? 

"Okay?" He asks, much to his own surprise as he helps you stand, music dull, bass almost the only thing you can both hear as he strips the condom off and finds some tissues to clean himself up- giving some to you as well. You take them silently, and clean yourself up, watching him throw everything into a trash bin nearby. It's only now that you seem to take a look around the small storage room you're both in, before you pull up your underwear, cringing at the odd feeling in your legs. "You good?" Jungkook chuckles- but you still don't look at him, simply nod before you seem to adjust yourself. How do you really feel about this? 

It's none of his business. So why does he feel like it is?  

"Do you.. I don't know, do you want me to drive you home?" He wonders. "If your friend isn't back, I mean." He adds, and you shrug.  

"Yeah." You tell him almost indifferently, before he nods, and leads you back outside, music suddenly loud and clear again. "but.. I think I can see here over there." You mumble, as Jungkook adjusts the back of your clothes for you, something he didn't even notice doing until his hands were already on you. There's something.. odd about you. A strange attraction, almost.  

He's not sure if it's just post-sex-attachment, or if it's genuine interest.  

“She seems awfully... occupied though.” Jungkook chuckles, watching together with you how she pretty much doesn’t seem to care that she’s basically getting undressed by the guy on the dancefloor. “I’ll wait with you at the bar if you’d like.” He suggests, and you shake your head, visibly disappointed.  

“No.” You deny. “Just..” You pull your little bag a little tighter over your shoulder. “..I changed my mind. Take me home, please.” You ask without looking at him, and he nods quietly, a hand on your shoulder leading you outside.  

His car is a little old, but the interior is clean and smells nice. He instantly turns the heat on, making sure you’re comfortable, radio playing quietly in the background while you click your phone into the holder, the navigation app having started to show him the journey to your home. “Oh? We don’t live that far apart.” He notices, as he pulls out of the parking lot in front of the club. “I live near the subway station, where that weird store is. The one where that old lady sells healing crystals and shit like that.” He attempts to smalltalk, and you nod.  

“Yeah, I know that one.” You answer. “My mom used to be friends with the woman that owns the shop..” You shrug.  

“Oh, cool.” He offers. “I don’t really believe in that stuff, but each their own.” He tells you.  

“I don’t believe in it either.” You admit. “But my mom does, so I just.. Pretend I do. I don’t like to fight with her.” You say, looking out the window to see it starting to rain a little.  

“You seem like someone who doesn’t like arguments.” He chuckles. “Which is a compliment, by the way.” He makes sure to underline. “Can I ask why you.. Seem so sad right now?”  

“Sure you can.” You say, before you look back at your hands in your lap. “It’s.. She does it a lot. My friend, I mean.” You admit, before you sigh. “I feel like she’s just.. I don’t know. Like I’m just a placeholder, good enough when there’s no one else around.”  

“Hm, I get what you mean.” He answers. “Some people are shit like that. My mom used to marry and divorce like she was aiming for a world record.” He laughs easily, stopping at a red light. “Some people just can’t be alone. It eats them up- so they take whatever company they can, and love too easily.” Jungkook explains.  

“But where’s the love in that?” You mumble almost too quiet for him to catch, looking out the window again where two children run through the rain after what you believe might be their mother holding a yellow umbrella.  

“For some, that’s love.” He shrugs. “It’s different for anybody. My definition of love probably is different from yours, and that’s fine too.” He offers.  

“I don’t even know.. What it is.” You sigh, defeated in your tone. “I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like.”  

“You’ll know when it happens, trust me.” He tries to lift your mood. “Maybe we can.. I don’t know. Stay in touch, hang around together. I promise I might look like it but I’m not involved in any drug-related drama.” He laughs. “But all you need might just be a good friendgroup, a nice social circle. And I promise my friends are all cool, even though they’re all guys. They’re all in relationships- well, apart from me, but you know why that issue exists.” He chuckles.  

“You shouldn’t let her use you anymore, you know?” You say quietly, as the surrounding area outside the car becomes familiar. “You’re.. Too nice for someone like that.” You say, as he parks in front of the apartment building your phone exclaims is your destination of choice. You reach over to take your phone from the plastic holder, when you notice Jungkook watching you intently, before he speaks.  

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, and you look at him with wide eyes, interior lights of his car reflecting in them, making him even more eager to find out how it’ll feel like if you gave him the chance. You shrug, before you nod, visibly confused, while his eyes roam around your face, as if they can’t decide what feature of yours to focus on.  

Everything looks too magical right now. Like some cheesy romantic drama.

He’s not sure if he likes it or not.  

But as his hand reaches out to help angle your face right to place his lips against yours, he’s surely enough made his decision, sweet lipbalm of yours fruity on his tongue as he fails to keep his cool, leaning over further, both of your eyes closed as you get lost in the whole action- though he finally has to break free, the moment enough to cut the spell you both have been under.  

“Well fuck me.” He starts to laugh. “Now I’ll definitely need your number.” he jokes, as he takes out his phone to do just that, your fingers typing in the numbers of your phone, your heart still racing in your chest.

All while his words keep repeating in your head.

'You'll know when it happens, trust me.'

[vxnuslogy]

— kaibigan lang.

pairing: gen narumi x gn!reader

premise:you, a platoon leader from the first division, and gen narumi, the first division captain, have a strangely close relationship; the two of you bring a new meaning to the words "just friends."

— warnings: none

— author’s note: this is actually my second attempt at this fic, the first one got too long and angsty LMAOO and i didn't like how it ended so i decided to just remake it entirely. this is very inspired by "balang araw" by i belong to the zoo, please go give it a listen!! art credits to @.DanG0_23 on twitter. | ~1.1k words.

you and gen narumi have a very special and close relationship. he makes you feel special for all the right—and wrong—reasons. 

from the very first time you met him, you felt a feeling deep within your chest that you and him will inevitably be inseparable. you’re not sure if you want to pat yourself on the back for predicting the future or shake yourself by the shoulders for jinxing it.

you grew fond of his childish tendencies, how he points an accusing finger at you when you beat more kaijus than him. when he pouts at the ‘you lose’ title screen on his console. and not to mention the numerous times he’s fallen asleep on your lap as you weave your fingers through his hair. the way his shoulders release their tension when he sees you from across the room or how his magenta eyes seemed a little softer than normal. 

multiple people have questioned your relationship, but his reply would always be: “we’re just friends.” and you feel a part of yourself die each time. 

does being “just friends” include sneaking out of his room in the middle of the night so he could comfort you after a terrible nightmare? does being “just friends” include seaking each other out at every meeting and smiling like two idiots in love? does being “just friends” include making heartfelt promises after a dangerous mission? promises of keeping each other safe and if either of you were to fail, then the other will follow you to their grave sooner or later?

none of these actions seem to say “just friends” but what could you do? if that’s how gen narumi sees you, then who were you to force him to see you in a different light? being able to keep him close as a friend is better than having to say goodbye to him and live your life as two strangers with memories. 

“you sure you’re just friends?” rin shinonome, a fellow platoon leader and your closest friend, asks you.

you gave her a tight-lipped smile. “one-hundred percent!”

she squints her eyes at you. she looked unconvinced–like always–but didn't comment on it further. for a while, the two of you sat and ate in awkward silence until tachibana sat himself down next to you and said, “pretty sure friends don’t look at each other like they're each other’s worlds.”

rin suddenly slams her hand on the table, a loud bang resounds in the cafeteria as she agrees with his statement. you wince from the loud noise and try to refute tachibana’s claims. surely you didn’t really look at narumi like that, right? you just saw him as a friend, honest! as the two continued their chat, you couldn’t help but try and sneak a quick glance at your captain.

maybe that was another mistake you always make: look for him in every room then be uncharacteristically happy when you realize he’s also looking your way. you feel a smile creep up your face when he turns his console around to show off the bright ‘you win!’ title screen. narumi had that smug smirk on his face as he pushed his hair back so you could get the perfect view of his magenta eyes. 

“just friends” don’t look at each other like this, like tachibana said, but narumi is your friend. 

“what were you and platoon leader shinonome and tachibana talking about?” narumi suddenly asks. he caught you off guard so badly your in-game character died, making him let out a proud laugh. “ha! i win.”

you roll your eyes and shove at his shoulder. “that’s not fair. you distracted me.”

“how could a question be a distraction?” he drawls, yawning and placing his head casually on your lap. this guy even had the audacity to reach for your hand and place it on his head, silently asking you to play with his hair.

you let out a sigh. “it was nothing. just the usual chat about the mission.” 

it was partially the truth, before lunch ended the three of you did talk about the upcoming mission. but no way in hell will you mention the way you talked about your questionable relationship with your captain.

you don’t realize you’ve stopped playing with his hair until his knuckles brush against your nose bridge. “you’re acting really strange. the hell did you actually talk about?” 

“it's really nothing,” you reply just above whispering. you hate how your head consciously leaned more into his hand that now held your jaw and the way his voice sounded just a few octaves softer than normal. “you don’t have to worry about it.”

“tell me,” he demands, eyes narrowing down into a glare. “as your captain, i have the right to know what’s bothering you.”

a snort left your lips as he tried to use the captain card on you but it never really worked. your fingers press on his forehead to try and ease his furrowed brows, the insides of your mind trying to find a way to deflect the topic but his eyes, oh his eyes, they tempt you like how the devil tempted eve to take the forbidden fruit.

“after the next mission,” you start, eyes crinkling into small crescent moons as you smile. “i’ll tell you if you manage to bring down the daikaiju in one hit.”

narumi smirks with all the arrogance and pride known to mankind before taking your hand in his. you bite your lip to stop the growing grin on your face as he presses a soft kiss inside your palm and whispers a soft promise to win the next fight with overwhelming strength.

“you promise?” he asks, the playful smirk still on his lips and your palm pressed to the side of his face. but his eyes had just a tiny spark of worry. was it for the upcoming mission or was it because of what you wanted to say? either way, you ease his worries with a soft drag of your fingertips down his nose, like he did to you.

you nod with a defeated yet fond sigh. “i promise.”

“just friends” didn’t act this way nor did they make promises easily. gen narumi himself knew of the consequences of growing too close with his fellow officers, but you were different. you weren’t just some other officer—you were his before the both of you even knew it. sure, there were times where you stayed up at night staring at the ceiling trying to make out what your relationship actually is, but it always ended with you smiling like a fool accompanied with a furious blush on your cheeks.

‘how i wish to be officially yours, gen narumi.’

© vxnuslogy 2024. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my works without my knowledge or consent in other platforms or websites.

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Hihi! I went on anon cause my main blog is strictly sfw, but I promise I'm an adult(29). Anyways, I had this idea of Ascended Astarion teasing Tav/Reader in front of a mirror. He can't see himself, but loves the way Tav/Reader shudders under his touch and them getting more and more embarrassed because all they can see is themselves getting riled up by seemingly nothing, but when they look down, ofc they see his hands working magic across their body.

Lol ty for the clarification and ask! I've been needing some nsfw practice!

Ascended Astarion nsfw under the cut, 18 + warnings. Like this is not implied smut. It is smut, graphic. Possessive, obsessive, manipulative, bad vampire man who loves you. As much as he's capable of. Morally gray human Tav from the start to here. It's only downhill from here baby, m/f angle. But if that doesnt fufill the dream let me know and I can make a gender neutral/ gender nonspecfic no prob! And probably less intense too because this is angsty~~~

Like I went ham, this is a whole ass fic now💀

You frowned at yourself in the bedroom mirror, adjusting your hair for the umpteenth time. It still didn't look right, despite what felt like hours of practice that you'd put into the intricate style.

You sighed as let one of your braids fall down, dissatisfied with what you saw. You didn't exactly look the part of an all-powerful vampire's consort, or at least not with the company you've recently been keeping. But it turned out a significant part of taking over Baldur's Gate was trenched in politics, meetings, balls, social events created for the sole purpose of mind games.

It was exhausting, or at least it was for you. But Astarion seemed to take to it like a duck to water. This life suited him, one of power games and subterfuge, and more often than not, murder. Not that you minded. You were just happy that he was having fun. That he was finally free after all of those years of torment. Even if he was using that freedom for… less than savory ends.

But despite his goals, you had sworn to him that you would never stray. And you intended on making good on that promise.

You just wished that he didn't insist on you being there for all of his "business". You hadn't realized how literal he had been about the whole sitting in his lap plan. It had taken a half-hour conversation to even convince him that no, you would not be doing so in the nude. He still hadn't given up on convincing you off that plan, but you highly doubted that it would help with your current level of heightened insecurity.

Maybe you were worrying for no reason. It wasn't Astarion who made you feel out of place. Well… it was, but not because of anything he did. Just… who he had become. He was so different now, so much colder to everything and everyone but you. More calculating, less forgiving, and just perfect for working with the most dangerous individuals in the mortal plane.

You seemed to be the only living thing he could relax around anymore, the only person who could soften him. It was strange really. You used to remember his softer side, before the ritual. The way his heart would hurt for children and animals alike, despite his failed attempts to hide it. His soft spot for Karlach, those who were brave and brazen, always willing to do the right thing despite the risks. The kind smile he used to have, reserved for beautiful things like the sunrise, the sunset.

Gone, all of it. It was a fact that you didn't like to think about. What you both gave up, things could have been; there was no point to it anyway. It was over. You gave Astarion the choice, this is what came of that. So here you were, obsessing over your appearance in preparation for a meeting with a high-ranking devil.

How things had changed.

You had no idea if you would ever find a way to match up with the company he kept around these days. Maybe it was your own fault for surrounding yourself with otherworldly creatures, but it was hard not to feel inadequate.

It didn't help that whenever you even slightly alluded to that insecurity, Astarion was more than ready to remind you of your… "options".

"You can join us whenever you'd like my treasure," Astarion would say with a creeping grin, "Just one bite, and we can be sure you'll be mine forever. Would that be so bad?"

It was a tempting offer, one that you kept insisting on refusing. You loved Astarion more than anything. But… you wanted that love to stay your choice. An obligation you maintained of your own free will. It's not that you didn't trust him… but to be a spawn had too many implications for you to handle.

"What has you pouting sweet thing?"

You startled when hands suddenly settled on your hip, gripping through the thin fabric of your nightdress. You looked back, relaxing the slightest bit to see Astarion smiling down at you, amused at the fact he'd managed to sneak up on you through the mirror.

"You said you weren't going to do that anymore," You whined as you leaned back into him, your eyes turning back to the mirror. You could see the fabric of your slip indented under his hands, ghost-like without his actual image reflecting back.

"I lied," Astarion said simply, leaning down to breathe you in from the crook of your neck, "Now what are you thinking about pet? I can tell something's on your mind."

You bit your lip, debating for a moment if you should tell him or not. But it's not like he would let it drop, and he was way too good at being able to tell when you were lying. Might as well come clean.

You sighed, "I don't…I don't know if I'm cut out for this."

You expected him to huff at you, maybe even laugh. But instead, the grip he had on you tightened, hard enough to make you gasp. You could feel his fangs scraping against your delicate skin, scratching hard enough to cause pinpricks of blood to bead out.

"And why would you ever think a thing like that?" Astarion asked, his voice harsh and low, "Where else would you be if not by my side hm? Please, enlighten me."

You gulped, your heart rate starting to pick up. You hadn't meant it like that, "That's not what I meant-"

"Then what else could it have meant?" Astarion shot back, his hands digging into you, surely ready to leave finger-shaped bruises. Suddenly he was using that same grip to drag you backward to the bed, effortlessly settling you between his spread legs.

All while managing to still be right in sight of the mirror. You could feel your cheeks redden as his hands started to wander, unceremoniously tugging down the straps of your nightdress to reveal your chest. That was another thing about life after the ritual that had been a surprise, just how different Astarion's sex drive was. It's not like he was a prude before, far from it, but now he was insatiable. Always ready and willing to touch you whenever the urge struck him. Often enough for you to eventually come to the thrilling, if not slightly disturbed realization, that… he was training you. Training your body to always want his touch.

And tonight was no different. You could already feel yourself getting wet, and he had barely done anything yet. But then suddenly he was pinching your nipple harshly, hissing in your ear, "I expect an answer when I ask you a question darling."

You bit back a moan, trying to remember what you were even arguing about as he started to play with your breasts, "I-I didn't mean it like that. I just… I don't want to embarrass you."

It was humiliating to admit but it was true. Not many people of Astarion's caliber insisted on a singular lover. There were so many people after him now, people with more power, more beauty, and grace. You didn't match up. You couldn't.

"Nonsense," Astarion dismissed, his hands wandering down to tear off more of your clothing, "Look at you. You were made for this life. Made for me. You're gorgeous."

The compliments mixed with the harsh feeling of his hands ripping your nightdress in two was quite the experience. You could feel his own hardness pressing into your backside, twitching as he threw your ruined clothing to the side.

Then he was gripping your chin, forcing your head back up to stare into the mirror in front of you, "I said look."

You obeyed, eyes widening at what you saw. It was so strange to see yourself like this, fully exposed with your legs spread apart, flushed and panting. It nearly gave the illusion that your very image was what was causing the wetness between your legs, instead of the invisible man toying with you.

You swallowed, your throat dry as Astarion's hands wandered lower, a feather-light touch tracing up and down your slit, "You are everything. The sole reason that I'm the man I am today. There is nowhere else you should be than right here."

"But-" You gasped, your words interrupted by a sharp slap to your inner thigh. You could see your skin start to redden in the mirror, a perfect imprint left in it's wake.

"Darling, are you questioning my judgment? What on earth made you think that was a good idea?"

You frantically shook your head, moaning when his fingers delved deeper, playing with your slick folds, "I-I'm not. I didn't- I'm sorry."

You whined as he roughly pinched your clit, his other hand moving upward to do the same to your heaving chest.

He was starting to grind his hardness against you, a tease of more to come as he murmured in your ear, "There's my good girl. Was that so hard?"

You shook your head, gasping as he finally dipped his long fingers into your cunt. You were already so sensitive, humiliatingly close in a matter of minutes.

"So gorgeous," Astarion sighed, staring straight ahead to the sole image of you, whimpering as he finger-fucked your pussy, "So needy. Can you see how wet you are pet?"

You could, you were leaking around his fingers, that needy, intense feeling getting more and more intense by the moment. It was so embarrassing seeing yourself like this, enough so that you snapped your eyes shut.

A bad idea. Astarion tutted at you, landing another sudden and hard slap to your thigh, "None of that. I told you to look. Or else."

You snapped your eyes back open, watching yourself whimper and gasp as you were played with, the harsh movement of his hand jostling your breasts. You weren't going to last much longer, not with the image of you being taken apart, the feeling of him inside you, the mean edge to your love's words.

"You're such a silly little thing, aren't you?" Astarion growled, fucking you harder and faster. You were so close, but you weren't stupid enough to come without permission. Not after what he did the last time, "Doubting me. Do you really think I don't know what's best for you? What's best for us?"

"No," You whimpered, your hips arching backward to rub harder into his erection, "You're right, I-I'm yours. C-Can I come now? Please?"

"Beg me and maybe I'll think about it," Astarion meanly laughed, relishing in the gush of slick his harshness coaxed from between your legs, "Beg and apologize. Apologize for doubting us. For doubting me."

You could barely get the words out through your own gasps, tears prickling in the corner of your eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean it!"

"Good girl," Astarion huskily laughed, using a clever thumb to rub over your swollen clit, "Now tell me you love me."

"I love you," You said easily, meaning every word, "I love you more than anything.

"Tell me you'll never leave me. Ever."

There was something else behind that promise. An obvious implication that your fucked-out brain was too distracted to see.

"Never," You promised, reaching back for you him. You curled your fingers into his hair. pulling his head down to press his mouth against your throat. An open invitation, "I'll always be with you."

Astarion groaned against your skin, his fangs so close to piercing, "Precious pet, how could I ever want anything else? Come darling, you've earned it."

Then he was biting you, the brief flash of pain the perfect trigger for you to fall over the edge. You came with an embarrassingly high-pitched whine, slumping back into Astarion as he drank from your throat.

You looked as much of a mess as you felt, the stickiness between your thighs glistening in the light. You watched yourself, whimpering as Astarion slipped his fingers out. Just to tap them against your lips, forcing them into your mouth to suck on.

You moaned around them, light-headed as Astarion popped off of your throat. You sighed as he licked at the wound, enjoying the brief moment of rest. You weren't naive enough to think that you were done yet. Not when Astarion was still hard, his cock pulsing against you.

"See?" Astarion huskily laughed, licking the blood off of his lips while he played with your tongue, "You're perfect. Perfect and mine."

[solarmorrigan]

Hi! Could you possibly do 'You don't have to stay.' With Steddie from the angst writing prompt, please? Thank you in advance 😊

Hi! My apologies again for taking two weeks to get to this, but thank you for sending it! This one was fun to write :D

[No warnings; happier ending this time, I promise]

Angsty-ish Prompt List

-

Eddie feels like an idiot.

He just – he got so wrapped up in everything. In the way Steve has been keeping him company every evening, in the way they have dinner together and play cards together and watch movies together and fucking fall asleep together (Eddie and Wayne’s new place is bigger than their old one, but it’s not like the government sprung for a house with a goddamn guest room or anything). He just forgot that Steve isn’t really meant to be part of his life.

No, Eddie just has Steve on loan.

He is abruptly reminded of this fact one afternoon when he hits Family Video with the intent to pester Steve (and maybe even rent a movie) and instead stumbles right into the tail end of a conversation.

Maryellen Someone-or-Other from the year below Eddie (he’s never really seen the point in remembering names unless they’re a friend or a foe; he figures his brainspace has better uses than the names of people who don’t give a shit about him one way or the other) is leaning over the counter, making eyes at Steve. She’s practically batting her eyelashes and resting her weight in a way that puts the low-scooped neckline of her shirt prominently on display.

“Are you sure?” Maryellen is asking, bottom lip pouting out in a way that is, in Eddie’s opinion, far too obvious.

“Afraid so,” Steve replies with one of his softer smiles, like he might actually be sorry. “I already have plans tonight.”

And – plans? What plans? Eddie thought Steve would be coming over to his house tonight, like pretty much every night.

But then Steve’s eyes flick up from Maryellen and catch Eddie standing stupidly in front of the doors, and his smile widens a little, becomes something happier, sillier, and – oh. Eddie’s house is the plan. Right.

“Well,” Maryellen sighs, high and put-upon, pulling Steve’s attention back to her, “maybe next time.”

“Uh, yeah.” Steve nods. “Yeah, maybe.”

Maryellen glances Steve up and down one more time—and, seriously, obvious much?—before she straightens up and sashays past Eddie and out of the store. She doesn’t even seem to have a video with her. Had she come in just to ask Steve out?

And Steve had turned her down?

It’s not like Eddie is interested in what she’s selling, but he has eyes – Maryellen Whatserface isn’t the sort of date you just turn down. Not when she’s flirting and flashing her cleavage at you over the counter of your workplace. And she especially isn’t the type of date Steve Harrington turns down, certainly not to spend an evening sitting around in Eddie’s room doing a whole lot of nothing.

Of course, that’s not how Eddie sees it – not really. They’re not doing nothing if they’re talking, if they’re sharing stories or thoughts or even just dumb jokes. Not if they’re sitting quietly together because sometimes you can only be that type of quiet with someone who gets you. Not if Eddie is strumming random notes on his guitar and Steve is humming along, almost absently, like he doesn’t even notice he’s doing it.

It isn’t nothing to Eddie, but to Steve – well, now that Eddie thinks about it, Steve is probably just putting his life on hold so he can be a good friend to Eddie in the aftermath of all the Upside Down fuckery.

Which is very kind of him, obviously (which is apparently just the sort of person Steve actually is; sure, he complains a whole hell of a lot, but Eddie doubts if there’s a single damn thing Steve won’t do if he thinks he can help someone really in trouble), but Eddie doesn’t need him to do that. He doesn’t need any kind of pity friendship. He doesn’t need Steve to put all his shit on hold just to take care of him, only to end up resenting him because he can’t go anywhere or do anything because he’s too busy being the goddamn babysitter.

Eddie doesn’t need that.

“Hey.” Steve is the one leaning the counter now (and he doesn’t exactly have Maryellen’s assets, but damn if the position doesn’t make his shirt stretch appealingly over his chest, anyway) and making eyes at Eddie, except they’re sort of confused-and-concerned eyes, which makes sense, since Eddie still hasn’t moved out of the damn doorway. “You okay?”

“Just fine,” Eddie says, snapping back into motion. “I’m here to pick a movie for tonight.”

“Y’know, I work at the video store,” Steve says, arching one heavy brow. “I’m here right now, even. You could just let me pick something to bring home.”

Eddie almost twitches at the casual slip of the tongue – home. Like Steve doesn’t have other places to be, a better house to actually go home to.

“I could,” Eddie drawls, “but I have it on good authority—my own, in fact—that your taste in films is not to be trusted.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Just because you can’t appreciate Sly or a good underdog story–”

“Two hours of dudes punching each other, Steve.”

“That’s not all the movie was, and you know it!”

“Two hours!”

And just like that, they fall into their usual banter, but somewhere in the back of his mind, Eddie can’t quite let go of what he’s been reminded of.

It follows him back home (to his home) with the movie in his hand (a decidedly non-sports-related movie) and dogs his thoughts and winds him up, and by the time Steve has gotten off work and is leaving his shoes politely by the door, Eddie is – well, he’s a little on edge.

A bit twitchy.

Maybe more than a bit.

Maybe he might be watching Steve, looking for signs that he doesn’t want to be there, that he has better places to be, that Steve regrets turning down Maryellen (if that even was her name? Now that Eddie thinks about it, it might have been Marie. Hard to say).

Maybe he watches Steve carefully as they make dinner, and as they eat, and as Steve heckles his movie choice just for the hell of it, and maybe he jumps on it a little too hard when, as the evening gets later, Steve glances at the clock and sighs.

“You know, you don’t have to stay,” Eddie says, shooting for perfectly casual.

Steve, who had been partway through rubbing tiredly at his eyes (probably about time to get those contacts out; he always forgets, and Eddie is always reminding him), pauses and pulls his hand away from his face to look blearily at Eddie. “What?”

“Just, if you have other places to be, y’know?” Eddie shrugs. “You don’t have to stay.”

Steve blinks. “What other places would I be right now?”

Eddie shrugs. He’s very casual about this and not worked up at all, as evidenced by all the easy shrugging he’s doing. “Oh, I don’t know. With Maryellen, maybe? She seemed pretty interested in taking you out tonight.”

A confused sort of look is working its way onto Steve’s face, like he has no idea what the hell Eddie is talking about, like he hadn’t just turned down a date earlier today. “Do you mean Madeline?” Shit, right, that was it. “Why would I want to be with her? Dude, what the hell are you even talking about?”

“I don’t know, Steve!” Eddie snaps, tossing his arms up in hopes that it’ll get some of his nervous energy out. “I just know that you’ve been here babysitting me almost every night for weeks–”

“I’m not babysitting, what are you–”

“And I figure that maybe there’s other shit you’d rather be doing! Places to be, things to do, people to fuck, whatever.”

And– Oops.

Eddie hadn’t quite meant to let all that out. And now Steve looks offended.

“What the hell is your problem tonight?” Steve asks, sitting up from where he’d been slouching on Eddie’s bed. “Did I do something to make you think I don’t wanna be here, or what?”

“I – well – do you want to be here?” Eddie splutters. “You’re a popular guy, and you’re turning down dates to sit around in my room all night? Doesn’t check out, man!”

Unnervingly, Steve doesn’t immediately snap back. He just stares at Eddie for a long moment.

“So, what? You think I’d rather be at some high school party? Drunk off my ass? Making out with some girl who doesn’t know me or give a shit about me?” Steve finally asks, voice low and heavy. “What the hell have I done since you’ve actually gotten to know me that made you think I still want all that shit?”

Eddie opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He doesn’t exactly have a specific defense.

Steve scoffs. “Did you ever think that I just want to spend time with you? That I like being here, that I like you? But fine, whatever.” He slides off the bed and stands up. “You want me to fuck off so badly, I’ll go.”

And with that, he stalks out of Eddie’s room.

Eddie is so busy reeling with the “I like you” of it all that it isn’t until he hears Steve shuffling with his shoes by the door that he manages to snap into action.

“Steve!” he calls down the hall, running full tilt for the entryway, because he doesn’t know much, but he knows he needs to stop Steve before he leaves, before some kind of irreparable damage is done.

Steve doesn’t pause, reaching for the door and pulling it open, and what Eddie means to do is step past him, put a hand on the door, keep Steve there just a little longer so they can talk.

What actually happens is that Eddie’s momentum carries him flying right past Steve, into the door, yanking the knob from Steve’s hand and slamming the whole thing shut.

“Eddie, what the fuck!” Steve exclaims, (rightfully) startled.

“I don’t actually want you to fuck off, okay?” Eddie insists, because he is a god of eloquence when under unexpected pressure. “I want… I really want the opposite of that, actually.”

Steve shoots him a disbelieving look. “So you were being a dick because you want me to stay,” he says flatly.

“Nooot exactly,” Eddie draws the words out, reaching up and twisting his fingers in his hair while he tries to think. “I was being a dick because I want you to stay but I was afraid you wouldn’t want to.”

Steve continues to stare at him. “Eddie, that makes no goddamn sense.”

“I didn’t say it did! I think we know each other well enough for you to know by now that I am barely in charge of my brain, Steve!” Eddie huffs. “I just – I don’t get why you would want to hang around here when you probably have better options.”

“No, see, that’s the part that doesn’t make sense,” Steve says, his voice going a little softer. “You thinking I wouldn’t want to stay, or that there’s anywhere better for me to be. I don’t want to be anywhere else, or with anyone else. I just… want to be here with you.”

“You…” Eddie looks over at Steve, really looks, and catches the anxiety sitting in his expression, and the hopeful spark in his wide eyes, and realizes that he’s absolutely had the wrong end of the stick. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Steve says with a shrug that’s just about as casual as Eddie has been all night.

“Well then.” Eddie reaches up and slides the deadbolt back into place before giving the door a little pat; its services will no longer be required. Then, before he can think better of it, he reaches out and takes Steve’s hand, threading their fingers together and giving him a little tug back towards the hall. “Come on.”

“And where are you taking me, exactly?” Steve asks, amused and something a bit like relieved.

Eddie continues pulling him down the hall, heading for his room, and tosses a grin over his shoulder. “I am taking you exactly to where we both want to be.”

And if the way Steve crowds him over the threshold and into his bedroom is to be trusted, they are perfectly on the same page.

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Regina George X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute, and Fluffy Prompt [Full Version + Part 1 due to Tumblr text block limit]

• Takes place after the occurrence of the film [2024 ver. with Reneé Rapp]

• Some mild changes made to some elements of the story

• This is the entirety of the prompt/instalment, as promised!

• There will be more!

!TW: Being stuck in a toxic relationship, insult(s), mention of previously being kidnapped, implied suffering from PTSD + Depression + Separation Anxiety + Anxiety in general, mention of previously being abused (physically and verbally) + injury detail, jealousy, mention of divorce + poor relationship with family/family members, elements of self-doubt + presence of self put-downs, panic-attacks/mention of them, swearing, presence of weaponry, threat(s), suicide attempt(s) + suicidal intentions + consideration, implied/mention of previous elements of homophobia, mention of having nightmares linked to trauma, drug-taking (medication), mention of substance abuse (alcohol addiction), mention of miscarrying, breaking up, sense of drowning - if I’ve missed any, let me know!

Birds’ Eye View/Heart’s Desire

“Are you done, or-?” You inquired, raising your eyebrows, after Regina threw another line of insults at you; you’d told her to rant, seeing she needed it, but…

“No,” she answered, without hesitation, even though she appeared a little exasperated, wincing, before she looked away from you, and sighed heavily, knowing she shouldn’t get you involved with all that was currently frustrating her following her recent arguments with her boyfriend, Shane Olman, especially when you didn’t even know him, and hadn’t ever talked to him, only a recent student at Northshore High School, managing to take on Senior Year after you’d been expelled from your last school. “Yes,” she added, barely audibly, and you would appear surprised, not expecting such an answer from her as you tilted your head partially, a pained as well as skeptical expression on your face; you didn’t want her to feel as if she couldn’t talk to you about all that was burdening her the way you feared she did, hoping against hope - however - at the same time, that she had instead managed to clear her mind a little, until she crumpled, and looked up at you again with a hurt look on her face before she said ‘no’, her voice softer than you’d ever heard it before. “N-No, I’m not, I-.. I’m-..” She shrugged, before awkwardly bowing her head, and you would nod gravely, smiling sadly over at her, before you timidly inched closer to her to gently squeeze her shoulder, prompting her to express relief, her heart skipping a beat, before she glanced up at you again, and felt strong enough to continue just by having her gaze lock with your own in the best way possible. “I hate you,” she spat, her gaze never leaving your’s, whilst you couldn’t help, but smirk in her direction, amused though you knew you shouldn’t be, but it didn’t stop your heart from aching as you wondered who had hurt her the way you could tell that they had, before she’d come back to your Uncle’s ranch with you. “Y-You stink, and I hope an air conditioner falls on you,” she added sharply, clearly through gritted teeth, whilst you appeared taken aback - of all things you thought she might say, that was one of the least you’d been expecting to hear, but it still made you have to fight back a giggle regardless of how it had shocked you, at first, “okay.” She drew in another shallow breath, before releasing it through her nose like you’d told her to, just to try and calm her down when she’d almost broken one of the mucking up shovels you and her had been using to tidy up the horses’ stalls here. “Okay, I - I think I’m-.. I think I’m done, now,” she stated, and you would almost feel disappointed, though at the same time of course you were relieved to know that she seemed at least somewhat relieved, now that she’d slung out yet another insult in your direction, though she wasn’t directing anything of what she meant toward you; she couldn’t.

The thought startled her, just for a moment, as she winced again, and forced a smile in your direction, trying to hide that such a small thing had flustered her the way nothing else ever had before.

“That’s good,” you stated, and she would hesitate, before nodding, and smiling softly over at you, this time the smile was genuine; it was hard not to allow the corners of her lips to curve upward whenever she was around you, “that’s always good - so-.. are you ready to talk about it, now?”

She would appear taken aback by your question, her smile faltering a little, before she awkwardly cleared her throat, and nodded slowly, though you could tell she was reluctant to discuss what had been happening between her and Shane recently.

“I guess,” she answered, and you would smile warmly back at her, glad that she felt able to talk about such things with you - it even made you feel a little warm and fuzzy inside, like a sense of pride was washing over you in response to your hope that she seemed to trust you, just as much as you trusted her, and somehow had ever since you’d first met her that day; the day she’d first been sent here by her mother to distract her, and take her mind off of the tense situation between her and Shane, before you’d even started at Northshore High. “But - if we’re gonna talk about it,” she began again, and you would tense up for a moment, wondering what she might be about to say, next; you were always terrified that maybe something bad would happen - that maybe she would up, and abandon you, though you couldn’t imagine why. You always put such dread up to how you’d been kidnapped, and abused the way you and, a few years ago now; you were quite young when it happened, and the nights you’d spent screaming and crying had never left your mind, especially not at night, where your nightmares were at their most vivid moments. For a moment, you remembered your kidnapper coming in to kick at your side for how you’d tried to call your home, after successfully sneaking out of his basement, but that wasn’t the worst of the punishment; he spent every night after that breaking each and every one of your fingers, and he would have moved onto your wrist, or toes, if the police didn’t locate you when they did. You winced at the memory, but you wouldn’t let her see the pain in your eyes as you bowed your head, before she could lock eyes with you again, making her heart sink a little as soon as she realised she wouldn’t be able to lock eyes with you again, if you didn’t lift your head the way you had, before, trying to act as if you were distracted by the next pile of dung you were shovelling up at your feet. “Can we do it whilst we’re mucking up, l-like we are, now?” You appeared taken aback again by her request, forgetting your previous thought as you looked up at her again, forgetting how to breathe for a moment whilst she silently admired your eyes without even realising that she was, trying to tell herself that it was just because it made sense to make eye contact right now, rather than glance down at your lips, or just down at the ground when you were both in the middle of a conversation the way that you were, or had been, now.

You appeared skeptical again, once you’d recomposed yourself, and could finally breathe again, as soon as you remembered how your lungs were supposed to work, ever since you’d been born a few years ago, now.

“I don’t know,” you answered warily, prompting her heart to sink, and eyes to darken a little; it made something ache within her for a reason unbeknownst to her to see that you still didn’t seem to trust her with the shovel, but she guessed she understood after she’d been wielding it the way she had earlier, wanting to either break it or smack someone over the head with it whilst she’d been thinking about her and Shane’s recent argument. It was seeing the hurt on her face - even if it were only there for a moment - that made your heart cave in, as you - without hesitation - took up her shovel, before holding it out to her, and forgetting how to breathe all over again as you waited for her to take it from you. “Here, of - of course we can,” you reassured her gently, a little breathlessly, but you tried to hide that you couldn’t breathe as you tried not to watch her hand as it inched closer to your own, before she accepted the shovel from you, and couldn’t help, but allow the pinky finger of her left hand to brush against the back of your own, prompting your heart to stutter, and you to tense up again as a makeshift spurt of electricity seemed to run down your arm - something you’d never felt before. You wondered if she felt it too, noticing the dazed expression on her face, making your cheeks heat up as you hastily looked away from her again, though you longed to keep your eyes focused on her, and only her, despite your not knowing why you’d even had such a reaction to her skin touching your own the way it had, for a split second.

“Thank you,” she replied, once she’d been able to find her voice again as she smiled timidly down at the ground beneath her, “that was-.. really brave of you, considering.”

You lifted your eyebrows again as you glanced over at her, confused by her praise, but still you couldn’t keep the smile from your face as your eyes glinted a little over at her, prompting her heart to skip a beat again as soon as she felt your eyes upon her, encouraging her more than enough to glance up at you again, her eyes not hesitating to lock with your own as you both faltered in place for a moment, staring over at each other as if nobody else existed anymore, besides you two, right here, right now.

It took her more strength than it ever had before to stay stood where she was, seeing herself in another universe inching closer to you, whilst she lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, only making her heart begin to pound a little as you warily glanced over at her, your heart skipping a beat, almost as if you were picturing the same thing as she was, hardly breathing, just like she was, stood before you, before her eyes darkened, and she awkwardly cleared her throat again to break herself from her previous daze, as well as you from your own as you silently cursed yourself, before digging up at the muck again to try and clear your head somehow, only to fail miserably as soon as you felt her hand upon your shoulder.

“Reg-” You spluttered out, before you even knew her name was slipping from your lips, but before you could continue, she pressed on, determined to show you that she meant everything she told you, whilst she knew you silently doubted some things about yourself, though you’d not even told her her about what had happened to you, when you were younger, and felt more hopeless than you ever had before.

“I meant it,” she cooed, gently squeezing your shoulder as you timidly glanced up at her, wishing you could breathe normally again, whilst at the same time you were terrified of losing the way she made you feel, whenever she was with you the way she was, now, “you’re the bravest girl I know.”

You tried not to shudder, your eyes threatening to fill with tears as a lump began to form within your throat, only making it harder for you to not break down in front of her as you forced a shaky smile in her direction, before bowing your head again as soon as small tears began to form within your eyes.

“Bravest, huh?” You mused, and she nodded hastily, not hesitating at all because she meant every word, and knew she always would. Being hit by a bus the way she had last year had made her feel different; more grateful, of everything, as well as everyone, around her - for a split second, whilst she was unconscious, she swore her life had flashed before her eyes, and it made her feel guilty for almost everything she’d ever done - well, everything, until now.

“You - mean a heck of a lot to me,” she expressed, and you would appear taken aback again, your heart skipping a beat, before you glanced up at her again, and wondered why your heart felt as if it were being squeezed even though at the same time it felt as if it were currently soaring with every word she shared with you, and you’d reacted in similar ways ever since you’d first met her, and began to feel alive whenever she was with you the way that she was, now, “you always have, e-ever since I-.. y’know, got to actually know you, and talk to you, and that’ll never change, I promise - you know that, right?”

“I know,” you reassured her, your voice briefly trembling, prompting her heart to squeeze alongside your own as she frowned, and carefully eased you into a hug whilst you melted into her embrace, and wouldn’t hesitate to return it as you buried your face into her left shoulder, feeling safer than you ever had before as you subconsciously drowned within her sweet scent in the best way possible.

“Good,” she returned gently, “I’m glad.” You both fell quiet for a moment as you tried to recompose yourselves, before she held you at arms length blissfully, her eyes glinting alongside your own. “So,” she chimed, and you couldn’t help, but giggle softly whilst you carefully brushed away any remaining tears, “should we continue mucking, or-?”

You smiled warmly at her, before nodding, and taking up your shovel again, as if she hadn’t had you almost breaking down completely within her arms a brief moment ago.

“I’d love to,” you replied, brighter than she’d ever heard you before, prompting her heart to jump alongside your own as she smiled sheepishly back at you, evidently glad to see that you were happy again, now that she’d admitted to you that you were more than what you thought you were to her, before, “as long as you’re still up to talking about whatever you wanna talk about, as we go?”

She tensed up again, remembering Shane, and the fight he and her had had, earlier today, and for a moment you regretted more than anything bringing up the situation, until she smiled reassuringly over at you again, and nodded, before taking your free hand within her own to soothe you even more, indirectly making your heart pound faster than it ever had before as you tried not to glance down at her fingers intertwined with your own, whilst also silently praying that she couldn’t hear what was currently going on within your chest.

“Always,” she answered, and you would express relief, your expression softening, before you glanced down at the ground again, your cheeks heating up even more than they ever had before, “but before that - where should we start?”

🜚

“So he lied to you, about the whole thing?” You mused, a hurt look on your face as you and Regina slowly walked side-by-side, her head bowed, and your eyes dark whilst you tried to ignore how your blood was boiling at the thought of her boyfriend, Shane, disrespecting her like that, hurting her the way you could tell that he was, even now that she was away from him, trying not to think about all that had taken place between them both recently, when things had seemed like they’d be okay the end of last year, before she and him had begun the senior year at Northshore High together, alongside you.

“Yep,” she murmured, and you would frown, glancing over at her for a brief moment whilst your heart ached alongside her own, something she never thought she’d feel before, until now, as she silently begged for a distraction that would end this conversation, and bring on a new one.

The sun was going down - slowly, but surely. The last of the birds out were singing, her looking around for them subconsciously as if she were recently only just discovering each and every one of them around her, after the accident had changed her last year. A thoughtful expression crossed her face, a barely audible sigh of awe escaping her whilst she admired the area around her - your uncle did seem to own quite a bit of natural land; a few acres, at least, beyond the stable.

You couldn’t help, but smile softly in her direction as you admired her in the new light, tilting your head partially. It was almost like a breeze; like something new had hit you harder than it ever had before; like you were seeing every new for the first time, just by being with her. Your heart skipped a beat, and you hastily averted your gaze before she could look back in your direction, and lock eyes with you, prompting your heart to sink as you wished for a moment that you could have met her gaze, but you were terrified of her seeing the evident effect she seemed to have on you, without either of you knowing what it was, exactly, during this blissful moment in time, away from the hustle and bustle of civilisation. Regina was almost glad, to say the least, that her mother had sent her here just for the time being, until your uncle decided that he needed no more stable hands, but she guessed she’d always have you at the school, right?

Before she had time to acknowledge the silent dread forming within the pit of her stomach, you gently took her right hand within your briefly shaky left one, prompting her to forget how to breathe for a moment as she tensed up, and her legs stopped moving beneath her, her head turning on its own toward you before she could even direct it to do so, as if she were no longer controlling her body for a moment, and was watching the pair of you from somewhere else; at a birds-eye view.

Actually, she ventured that such a thing wouldn’t be so bad; to be up high, with the birds that were currently singing from somewhere up in the trees around you both, the odd one or two or even three taking off to either continue their birdsong somewhere else, or depart to their nests wherever they were for the night, alone, or with a family to keep them company; chicks, mate, or a flock. It struck her, eventually, that it was unusual for her to be having such thoughts; she wasn’t used to it, still - the way you made her want to continue her change, after the bus had struck her last year. She knew the old her would probably never bother to acknowledge such a natural scenery, nor would she even notice how this light seemed to make your eyes glint in a certain way.

She winced again, realising she had been staring back at you for a few seconds too long, before she awkwardly cleared her throat, and mustered up the only thing she could think to ask, right now, without having her voice tremble, or having herself get lost completely by all that was around her right now, though she wasn’t completely opposed to waking up to such a scenery each day, you included, somewhere within that dream, in what position she wasn’t quite sure, yet. She still couldn’t put her finger upon it; where you stand, to her - what she felt around you was completely new; like fireworks in the ocean, or particles of snow forming a perfect layer upon lava.

“You okay?” She inquired, her voice barely audible, and you would falter, realising you’d not spoken yet, before you nodded hastily, and smiled timidly back at her whilst your cheeks began to feel as if they were heating up again.

“Y-Yeah, I��m fine, I just-..” You sighed, before looking away from her, and begrudgingly releasing her hand, not sure what had even prompted you to want to hold it within your’s for a moment in the first place as you tried to ignore the warm and fuzzy feeling you were currently experiencing within your chest, as long as she were beside you the way that she was, now.

Regina could tell that you were struggling to find the right words to say - of course she could, so she decided to help the only way she knew she could, right now, inching closer to you somewhat as she looked around at the scenery again, smiling softly as she did - it all felt like some hidden paradise she never even knew existed, before now, and she guessed it didn’t surprise her to find that you were included in such a place as this.

“It’s really pretty, here,” she stated, and you would subconsciously relax, beside her; your body tensing up less in the corner of her eye as you drew in a barely audible sigh of relief to her right, glad that she’d changed the subject before you could falter completely beside her the way you feared you soon would, the way that things had been going recently, “peaceful - I can’t believe I’ve never been here, before.”

You slowly nodded beside her, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the guilt you felt, bringing up Shane again the way you had earlier, after she’d told you about all the fights they’d been having recently, whenever she weren’t here, with you, or was with her friends back at Northshore; you weren’t really used to being around them, yet, so when she was with them, you were either in the library, or outside, writing underneath one of the trees on the hill, unless you were bunking completely - you never really cared about your education, especially after you’d been kidnapped and abused a few years ago, now.

What your kidnapper had done to you had just made you feel like nothing mattered anymore; you hated, or distrusted most things; you only ever felt anything that wasn’t negative when you were with Regina, or the horses your Uncle owned, specifically Firenze, and Felicity, two Friesians that had been here since they were foals. You’d always dreamed about watching them grow, and you would have been able to, if it weren’t for the man who’d taken you the way he did when you were smaller.

You tried to stop thinking about it, turning to face her subconsciously, and the sight of her was enough to clear your head; enough to get you to blurt out exactly what you were thinking, right now, until you knew you should stop.

“I’m sorry,” you managed, your voice weak, and close to a whisper, prompting her heart to sink, before she glanced over at you, her eyes darkening; she just wished you’d stop putting yourself down for things she believed you shouldn’t put yourself down for, especially after all that you’d been through, yourself. She didn’t know yet about the kidnapping, but she knew that you came from a broken home - just your luck, right? You’d had to sit up most nights before you were taken; before the divorce, listening to your parents shouting at each through the walls, but you never understood what it meant that they were doing so, before one night you’d seen your mother packing up her things, and shortly after that bottles of beer appearing around the house. You’d never been more glad to have been put up with your Uncle, instead, by the police, though you still felt guilty sometimes, wondering what was going on with both your father as well as your mother, not that either of them had treated you as well as you thought they had, before, naive to what was going on around you when you were younger, and less aware of the tricks the world seemed to play on some unfortunate people for the fun of seeing them suffer under the clouds it tended to bring down upon them quite often. “I shouldn’t have brought him up again, I-.. I’m-”

“Y/n, don’t,” she interjected gently, making to hold your hands reassuringly within her own, but you would shake your head hastily, before stepping back; you couldn’t let yourself get away with it; didn’t want to get away with anything like that, anymore, as you continued, a little more shakily, worrying her above the pain she was experiencing ever since you’d moved away from her the way you had, a brief moment ago, now. You were beginning to panic a little, that much she could tell, and she couldn’t let it consume you any further than it already had, knowing what would happen, if she did, and she wasn’t ready at all to see you have a panic attack the way she already had once before, when she’d found you sobbing uncontrollably and shaking in the corner of the stable, a few paces away from the inside and outside arenas here for the riding students that tended to come here sometimes, herself included, as a reward for being a stable hand here alongside you, as well as the others.

Neither of you tended to talk to them as much as you spoke to each other; they seemed a little more awkward around you both, neither of you were sure why - it was probably because the owner of the place was your Uncle, and she was hanging out with you a lot of the time; they didn’t want to do or say anything that might get them kicked out of the place. You fought back a shaky sigh, trying not to break down in front of her again as you subconsciously wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to tell yourself that it wasn’t as bad as how your kidnapper had hurt you; you wouldn’t be punished like that again, but it didn’t seem to help much.

“You see, I - I don’t have much of a filter,” you mused, your words almost stumbling over each other as she tried to slowly get closer to you whilst you spoke, and were distracted, “and when I do, I still don’t know much of what I’m doing, and I’m sorry for that; I should have thought about it, before I said it, and I hate myself for it, I really do, I-”

Before you could even process what was going on in your head, your heart racing, and tears clouding your vision, Regina’s arms were around you, and you fell quiet in an instant, your head clearing up again whilst you melted subconsciously into her touch, small tears leaking from your eyes as you slowly returned the hug, not sure what to make of anything anymore. All you could think about now was that she was with you, holding you, and for a moment you wondered if this was the safest you’d ever felt before.

You had so much to thank her for, smiling softly against her shoulder as you stared ahead of you, but the words were stuck in your throat; you didn’t want to move; didn’t want this moment to change as you subconsciously clung to her black jumper, and silently begged her to never let go of you - not again.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she cooed, her voice soothing you in an instant as she rubbed your back using her right hand, the circular movements leaving your skin feeling as if it were thrumming with electricity beneath your t-shirt with every touch, and you felt hopeless in a way, but this time it wasn’t linked to anything like fear - you only wanted more moments like these, more than you’d ever wanted anything else before.

It started off as an idea; you pictured the lights of the distant city against a dark sky, her arms around you almost like they were, now, before it became a picture you longed to witness, first hand, with every part of your being, your heart almost calling for it, and it didn’t take long at all for you to give into it, begrudgingly holding her at arm’s length, before the words so easily slipped from your lips before you could even process that they were doing so:

“Can I show you something?” You blurted out, and Regina appeared taken aback by your request, but she couldn’t say ‘no’ - it never occurred to her to do so, even when she was stood before your motorbike, and there was a glint in your eyes that she’d never seen before.

🜚

It felt like you both were soaring out of your Uncle’s riding centre, before a few seconds had even passed; like you were flying, without having a bird’s wings to do so. Neither of you spoke for a little while; Regina was silently admiring the distant lights of the city, as well as the near corn fields and occasional rabbits that ran alongside you both on the fields. You didn’t have the heart to interrupt her, occasionally glancing back at her, and smiling warmly as her eyes lit up at the sight of something new, only when you could; you didn’t wanna get her into an accident, not much caring about yourself if ever anything happened to you, but if anything happened to her…

You drew in a barely audible sharp breath through a wince, subconsciously slowing the motorbike down even more, though the road was often quiet the way it was, now, a rare car passing by you both every now and then, followed by a lengthy silence that seemed to stretch out between universe after universe. This was the life - if only it could stay like this, forever.

“This is nice,” she mused, perching her chin upon your right shoulder, prompting your heart to skip a beat as a dazed expression crossed your face for a moment, and you were glad it was being hidden by a helmet, worried that you might soon begin to blush again for a reason unbeknownst to you. You wondered how things had got even better; that she was so close to you, and already had her arms wrapped around you, obviously just as a safety precaution - you tried not to make anything of this moment, though it did make your heart pound uncomfortably against your ribcage somehow, to the point you were scared she might be able to hear it, but you assumed she couldn’t as she didn’t mention it, prompting you instantly to express relief, but you tried not to relax too much, reminding yourself that you were still responsible for her right now more than ever, and that you were still in control of your motorbike, no matter how much you wished you could just revel completely in the moment alongside her, without being fearful of how you could possible lose, or hurt her somehow, if ever you slipped up any minute, now - any second, even.

You kept your gaze firmly upon the road ahead, tightening your grip on the handles whilst she continued to look around, wondering how she’d never done this before, especially not with someone like you. Sure, it was similar to when she was driving her car, but this felt different in more ways than one. She snuggled even closer to you - just because it was getting cold, she tried to tell herself; it didn’t mean anything, though she could feel somewhere deeper inside her that she was wrong, and that scared her more than anything else ever had before. This was all so new, and something she never thought possible; she’d had feelings before, of course she had, regarding Shane and Aaron, but they’d never been this intense.

Even the crushes she’d had on other women (that she tried to ignore and excessively deny), had been ones that didn’t last as long as she thought - and sometimes feared - they would. A bird swooped past you both, but you wouldn’t let anything startle you, not if it meant that she could be put in danger by your recklessness if you let something distract you like that almost did.

“You okay, back there?” You inquired, your voice barely audible, as if you were afraid to even speak right now for her sake, your gaze never leaving the road again as you swerved a little to the right to allow another stray car to pass by peacefully - this was nothing like how you’d drive, if you were alone, that much you knew, above anything else right now.

“Yeah, you?” She called over the incoming wind, and you would appear taken aback by the question; you still weren’t used to someone else actually caring about you, you guessed.

“Yeah, I - I’m-” Your voice cracked for a brief moment, and you couldn’t help, but curse yourself for being so pathetic around her. “I’m okay,” you managed, eventually, and she would smile softly down at you, evidently glad to hear that as you’d been quiet for most of the ride, now, just too focused on trying to protect her to the point that it was unnatural; obsessive, to others, most likely, but you didn’t care; you couldn’t take any risk that could cause her demise.

“Good,” she replied gently, almost in a voice close to a whisper as if she were still afraid of what you’d think, if you heard her response, though she wasn’t sure why, all these new feelings leaving her with a headache due to the conflict going on between the two sides of both her heart, and mind. She clung on a little tighter to you to subconsciously provide comfort to herself, as well as you; she’d never seen you this quiet before, finding herself even missing your voice as another few minutes passed, with you not daring to muster up another word to her, even if it was just to ask her if she were okay; ask her if she liked the view; all the lights; the glittering stars above you both. “I’ve never seen you this focused before,” she admitted, and for a moment you faltered, swerving a little before you tightened your grip again, and re-centred your motorbike, but she wasn’t scared, only secretly glad that she’d achieved a reaction out of you the way she could tell that she had; you’d been so firm all this time, only now to let that foundation break if only just for a second the way it had, “you’re committed.”

You subconsciously grimaced, but tried not to let it get to you, though you knew she meant well, and in part, it was true; you were committed to protecting her, but just her, as well as the last few presences on the earth who had actually treated you right, but you couldn’t feel the same way toward the rest of the souls you’d met, so far, even though you’d only been alive for a few years, now.

“I guess,” you replied, and she would raise her eyebrows, wondering why you seemed to tense up beneath her touch only now, but she didn’t blame you, knowing you’d been through what nobody should have to go through at such a young age, your parents fighting all the time the way that they were, before they divorced, and your father started drinking - if only she knew about the kidnapping, too, before she continued; the kidnapping had always been the thing that especially provoked you the way it did, whether it broke you down to be reminded of what had been done to you, or it made you reckless; drove you to drink, yourself, or even suicide attempts, direct, or indirect on a count of reckless driving, or substance abuse - it just made you ache and burn in overwhelming ways that you couldn’t ignore everything it made you want to do, whenever you were reminded of what happened the nights you spent crying and screaming for someone to help, only for help to come when so much of you had already been broken inside, mentally and physically. You never intended to bring her into your pain; to get her involved with any of it, but something switched within you, and it always got to a point that you couldn’t hold anything back anymore - not until it was already too late for you to do so.

🜸

“You are,” Regina insisted, smiling subconsciously over at you as she admired your facial features without even realising that she was doing so, “you just don’t wanna admit it, right? The world, even if it hurt you; you wanna stay committed to it, somehow, in whatever way that you can-”

“I could never commit to something that never did anything good for me,” you uttered, and she would appear taken aback, a pained expression on her face as she nodded gravely, and regretted bringing it up in more ways than one, your eyes darkening as you scowled ahead of you, before slowly revving up your motorcycle, bringing it to accelerate even more as she winced, clinging onto you even more whilst you proceeded to turn another corner sharply, narrowly avoiding an approaching car.

“Y/n-”

“You wanna know how I feel about the world?” You questioned, and she would falter, finally appearing worried now as you accelerated even more somehow, something she never thought you would do considering you’d been so careful, up until this moment in time. “This is how I feel,” you spat, sharply revving the motorbike again as you leaned even further forward, and before Regina could even react; could even try and talk you out of what you were doing again, she noticed the broken fence you were both approaching, leaving open a dangerously close cliff-edge, and she knew what you were intending on doing more than you yourself even did.

“Shit,” she managed, first, before returning her widened gaze to you; her eyes full of nothing, but sheer dread as she gently shook you, desperate to try and stop you from continuing the way that you were, “Y/n, stop! You - You can’t do this; you’ll kill us-”

“We all fucking burn in the end,” you interjected sharply, your voice more dangerous and firm than she’d ever heard it before, but she never let go of you, regardless of what you were directing her as well as yourself toward right now, but before you could drive the motorcycle beyond the broken fence, you quickly swerved it a few paces before to the side, just about stopping the two of you before the wheel could go over, a pained expression crossing your face whilst Regina breathed heavy, and fast; she’d never been this scared, before - well, scared, and elated; only you had done things to have an effect such as this on her, and for some reason unbeknownst to her, she never wanted it to stop. “Get off,” you uttered, just as she made to say ‘I’, surprising her, as well as dejecting her as she subconsciously shook her head, and made to protest, only for you to continue in an even sharper voice, making her heart ache even more somehow, “get. Off, Regina.”

She couldn’t help, but scowl over at you, before nodding, and forcing herself to let go of you so she could dismount your motorbike, no matter how much her heart longed to remain close to your’s. She knew she should hate you, right now, but it was the sadness in your eyes that made her falter, her heart aching silently alongside your own - she couldn’t hate you; she just couldn’t, she cared about you too much to, maybe even loved you too much to, not that she knew what that meant yet; whether she loved you just as a friend, or as something more.

She drew in a barely audible shaky breath, still trying to recompose herself as she inched closer to you, and hugged herself, trying not to show that it was hurting her - how you were treating her, now, as if she meant nothing to you even after all that you’d both already been through together, recently.

“Y/n-”

“I can’t,” you murmured weakly, and she felt even worse when she heard your voice cracking, “I - I just-.. can’t, okay? I need to go-”

Her eyes widened again as she hastily shook her head; she couldn’t believe you’d just leave her there, without any explanation at all as to why you’d reacted to her assumption the way you did.

“But-”

“Reg, please-”

“You can’t just leave me here, Y/n,” she retorted, and quickly blocked your way before you could move your motorcycle anymore than you already had, a brief moment ago, now, “I need you; you’re the one who brought me here, remember?”

“You can walk, can’t you?” You reminded her harshly, but wished - as soon as the words had slipped from your lips - you could take them all back, your heart aching excruciatingly as you bowed your head, small tears threatening to cloud your vision. “You don’t need me to take you anywhere-”

“I do,” she contradicted, and you would sigh heavily, before bowing your head a little, knowing you should at least try and make something up to her, after what you’d already said to hurt her without even intentionally doing so the way you had.

“Then-.. let me make it up to you, at least,” you requested, evidently nervous as you fidgeted with your fingers subconsciously, your eyes full of worry as well as guilt behind your helmet, “please?”

Regina hesitated, not sure what to do, now - a part of her wanted nothing more, than to say ‘yes’, whilst another made her feel as if she should just go back home; give you some space, after what had happened a brief moment ago, but whenever she had such thoughts a cloud seemed to pass over her entire being, leaving her feeling empty and dejected inside - she hated being away from you, but she knew as well that she should get back, really, to avoid worrying her mother; during the journey, she felt that her phone was buzzing repeatedly, and she forgot until now that she’d promised she’d be back in time for dinner, and it had almost been a couple of hours or so passed that expectation.

“I don’t know-”

“Reg-”

“I want to go home, Y/n,” she decided, begrudgingly, and you would fall quiet, your frame drooping a little subconsciously in response to her interjection, but you couldn’t blame her - you’d probably hate you, too, if you were in her position, right now. “Not back to your Uncle’s ranch; not back onto any other road we haven’t been on - I want to go home,” she repeated, “my home, okay? Can you do that, without almost killing us both, or-?”

“Okay,” you answered, after swallowing painfully, but the lump in your throat didn’t go away, and Regina would reluctantly avert her gaze, a pained expression on her face as she climbed back up onto your motorcycle, before making to put her helmet back on, “I’m not a monster, by the way.”

Your words took her aback as she stopped what she was doing, for a moment, subconsciously lowering the helmet as she glanced up at you, her eyes full of the guilt as well as concern that she was currently feeling for you, right now; she’d never intended to make you feel that way, about yourself, especially not after all that you’d been through, ever since you were born a few years back - not when she thought the complete opposite about you, without you even knowing that she did, and had ever since she’d first met you, not too long ago, now.

“I know,” she reassured you gently, but you couldn’t let it go; couldn’t give in, not without her knowing that you never meant to hurt her, and never could; that you loved her too much to; that no matter what the future held for you, you could never let your past change you in a way that threatened her life, the way you almost had shortly after the ride had begun, not too long ago, now.

“I mean it, Reg, I - I’m not-”

“You don’t need to prove anything to me, Y/n,” she cooed, lifting her right hand up to your right shoulder, prompting you to falter, and fall quiet instantly as you revelled in her touch, smiling softly as you glanced down upon her hand holding your shoulder, making you feel warm and fuzzy all over again as if the pain had never been there in the first place, just because she was there with you, and holding you again the way you loved to feel her doing so, and had ever since you’d first met her a few months ago, now, or was it longer? You hardly had any sense of time anymore, now that she was with you. You tried not to sigh, more relaxed than you’d ever been before, until she withdrew her hand, and you began to feel empty again, trying desperately to cling onto the feeling, before she continued gently, soothing you all the more whilst she put her helmet back on again. “You know that, right?” She asked, wanting to hear you tell her that you did, and you would hesitate, glancing back at her timidly for a moment, before you smiled faintly, and nodded, trying to appear firm and confident again to reassure her further as you recomposed yourself, before answering in a makeshift stronger voice simply the word ‘yes’, prompting her to smile warmly back at you, glad, before she returned her arms around your waist, mustered up a sleepy ‘good’, and you began to rev up the motorcycle again - if you wanted to get her home to a not-so-furious scolding from her mother, you better do so quickly, right?

🜚

As soon as you pulled into her mother’s driveway, you began to feel empty again, knowing you’d both soon be departing from each other for the day. You smiled sadly back at her, before pulling off your helmet, and helping her off of your motorcycle.

“H-Hey, do you - can - can I walk you to your door?” You inquired, and she would appear taken aback, as well as a little flustered by your request, her eyes glinting a little whilst blood rushed up to her cheeks for a reason unbeknownst to her - she assumed it was just because it was cold again, but it terrified her to know that she was lying to herself, somewhere deep inside her; the part of her she didn’t like to show too often, until recently, after the bus had hit her last year.

“Er,” she began awkwardly, finding she couldn’t meet your gaze for a moment, whilst you tensed up and waited anxiously for her response before her, “sure, I - I don’t see why not, so.. yeah, c’mon.”

You appeared relieved, your eyes brightening up again as you smiled sheepishly over at her.

“Okay!” You replied, maybe a little too brightly, before you timidly offered her your right hand, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she accepted your hand, and smiled softly over at you, trying not to appear dazed as soon as she felt the electricity passing between your and her hand, through both your and her arm, not even stopping as you began to walk slowly side-by-side, not wanting this moment to end for the world, but she guessed that was a luxury neither of you would ever be able to achieve, considering the way things had been ever since you both had been born, a few years ago, now. Time doesn’t stop for anyone. You frowned, averting your gaze down to the ground for a moment as your eyes darkened, and heart sank alongside her own as soon as you both had reached her door. “So,” you began begrudgingly, before turning to face her, and managing a faint smile back at her whilst she gently squeezed your hand in an attempt to provide comfort to you as well as herself.

“I guess we should-”

“There you are!” Another voice sounded out after the door began to open, prompting Regina to wince, before she hastily withdrew her hand from your own, prompting your heart to sink even more as you hastily looked away, and awkwardly shuffled upon the spot. “What did I tell you about dinner, and going out late, young lady?” Mrs George questioned - at least you assumed it was her mother; you’d seen her a few times before with Regina, but you’d never really spoken to her before, and certainly had never been this close to her before, making you feel awkward as she’d probably never seen you and her daughter together like she had her other friends.

“Jesus, mom, it’s only been a few hours since I left-”

“You left school at three, and it’s now-” She glanced down at her watch, before hastily returning her gaze to Regina. “Seven in the evening, almost eight - where have you been?” She questioned, and she would have continued, certainly appearing as if she were about to, before her gaze fell upon you, and she would wince, managing to smile awkwardly as well as apologetically over at you. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” she mused, before appearing a little puzzled as she looked you over, realising that she’d never really seen you before, until now, and didn’t know you as well as she did the others, “er - Regina, honey, is this one of your friends?”

“Y-Yeah,” she answered, trying to disguise the pause with a faint cough; she wasn’t sure why it felt strange to call you her ‘friend’, as well as why it flooded her with guilt a little to notice the pained expression on your face in response to her description of you, “she is; you’ve not met her before, but-.. she’s one of the other stable hands at that riding centre near here; her Uncle’s the owner of the place.”

“Is that right? Well, it’s nice to meet you, erm,” her mother paused for a moment, awkwardly holding her hand out for a moment, “sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”

“Y/n,” you managed, your voice faint, and close to a whisper; you were evidently nervous, “Y/n L/n.”

Mrs. George smiled warmly over at you, and you would hesitantly shake her hand, smiling awkwardly back at her, before you averted your gaze once the hand-shake was over, evidently afraid of doing or saying something wrong if you stayed any longer than you already had, now.

“Do you go to Northshore, too, sweetie?” She inquired, and you would tense up, realising she was talking to you again, before you nodded, awkwardly looking over at Regina as if you were afraid that that was the wrong answer, though it was far from being something wrong when you were going to Northshore alongside her, after you’d been kicked out of your last high school.

“Yeah, she - she does, she - she’s also starting senior year,” Regina explained, and Mrs. George would appear surprised; she couldn’t believe she’d never noticed you before, if you were starting senior year here the way you were said to be doing so, “she moved here, from another school - t-that’s why you, y’know-..”

“Right,” Mrs. George replied, things making at least somewhat more sense to her, now, before she seemed to remember something, and secretly winked over at Regina for a reason unbeknownst to her, prompting her daughter to wince, and appear a little flustered again, looking away before either of you could tell that such an effect was currently being had on her, right now, because of her mother’s evident assumption, “hey, would you like to stay for dinner? There’s a lot left, because missy here said there would be company joining us tonight, until none of them showed up - you’re very welcome to!”

You hesitated, not sure, as you awkwardly stepped back, and smiled apologetically back at Regina’s mother; you weren’t sure you were ready for doing anything like that, yet - social company that didn’t involve you and Regina being alone together wasn’t something you were used to, or much comfortable with, even if Mrs. George seemed to be keen on having you stay the way that she was, for Regina’s sake as much as her own; she just wanted to see Regina happy again considering all the fights she’d been having with Shane recently, and by the looks of things she could see that you seemed to have a certain effect on her daughter that she found hopeful, as well as actually kind of adorable - you seemed to naturally click together, and she wanted to keep that going, somehow, hoping it would prompt Regina to drop Shane, somehow, whether it led to you both being anymore than you were, now, or it just kept you being close friends the way that she could tell you currently were.

“I’d love to, b-but-”

“She’s gotta get back and help her Uncle with the horses,” Regina answered, seeing that you were struggling, prompting you to express relief, before you smiled faintly back at her mother again whilst Mrs. George appeared a little disappointed, before nodding gravely, and returning a reassuring smile back at you, only relaxing you even further as you warily glanced back toward the motorbike, and fidgeted a little with your helmet.

“Right, sorry,” her mother responded gently, “I’ll let you get on with that, then, but if you ever want to come back and stay for a bit, you know where we are, right?”

“Right,” you reassured her, before timidly smiling back at the both of them, “thank you, Mrs. George - see you tomorrow, Reg.”

“See you,” she returned a little dismally, before you pushed yourself to begin walking back toward your motorbike, whilst Mrs. George appeared skeptical, mouthing ‘Reg’ as a question to her daughter, but Regina wouldn’t acknowledge her, slipping by her mother into the house once you’d begun to pull out of their driveway, but it wasn’t long before you’d hear her voice again, shortly after you’d got back, and were trying to get to sleep - not long at all.

🜚

“What was that?” Mrs. George inquired, after closing the door, and Regina would wince, reluctantly looking back at her as she stopped upon the first stop of their home’s staircase up to the second floor.

“Nothing,” she answered, but her mother didn’t seem convinced, worrying her a little as she looked away after rolling her eyes, “it was nothing, I swear; she’s a friend, mom - that’s all there is to it-”

“You know it’s okay, right?” She continued, gentler, this time, and Regina would falter, glancing back at her with a pained as well as puzzled expression on her face.

“Mom-”

“You can have feelings for her,” she clarified, resting her hands upon her daughter’s shoulders reassuringly, “it’s normal - I’m not judging you, at all, so tell me - do you like her, or-?”

“C-Can we not do this, right now?” Regina requested, avoiding her mother’s gaze, but Mrs. George knew better than to just give in.

“Just tell me, okay? If ever you-.. do start feeling anything for her,” she requested, and Regina would sigh, before she nodded gravely, and awkwardly shuffled upon the spot, “you know I have all the tricks you need to know, about winning who you want to be with; I used to be quite the popular flirt, myself-”

“Gross, but okay,” she replied, unable to stop a soft smile from tugging at the corners of her lips as she looked back up at her mother, prompting her to smile back at her; she liked seeing her daughter happy the way she was, now - it had been a little while since things had been like this between them both, after she’d got with Shane last year, “I’ll tell you.”

“Thank you,” Mrs. George responded exasperatedly, glad, above anything else, that she’d got through to Regina the way she could tell that she had.

“But,” Regina continued, worrying her mother again as she appeared to tense up, “I’m still with Shane, and I’m happy, so-”

“You’re happy? Really? Happy is not what I’m seeing from you when you’re with him, Regina-”

“Then that’s your opinion,” her daughter interjected sharply, “not mine - just-.. stay out of my business, okay? Please?”

Mrs. George frowned, shaking her head subconsciously, but Regina was already turning away from her even as she made to continue:

“Honey-”

“I’m going to bed,” she stated, and her mother would sigh behind her, before nodding gravely; she knew she’d never be able to change her mind about Shane; she’d have to do it herself, somehow; have to realise herself that he wasn’t any good for her, like she had thought he might be last year, until now; until the fighting had started the way it did, faster than she’d ever expected it to.

“Okay, but-.. next time, let me know when you’re going to be coming home late, okay?” Mrs. George called, and Regina would grunt, not bothering to respond as she disappeared into her room, and locked the door behind her.

🜚

It wasn’t long that you were plunged into a nightmare, after you fell asleep, crying and shaking uncontrollably whilst you clung to your duvet, your Uncle trying to soothe you as you struggled within his arms once he’d managed to get them around you, no matter how much you thrashed and cried out for help, thinking you were being taken by the man who had kidnapped and abused you again.

“You’re okay,” he cooed gently, his voice briefly shaking as he held you close, and you continued to cry, shaking your head rapidly as you mustered up things barely audible, before Regina’s name shakily slipped from your lips, “it’s okay.”

“Let go!” You cried, desperate to get away from him, and to find Regina again, afraid of what might happen to her, though the man who had kidnapped you was already in jail for what he’d done, and had been locked up for a few years now already - there was no way he was getting out, any time soon. “Please,” you begged, “I - I can’t - let me go! I need her! I - I need to hear her, please; let me see her, before he hurts her, too, please!”

“She’s okay,” he reassured hastily, “everything’s okay - he isn’t here, Y/n, you’re safe! He’s never coming back-”

“Stop!” You continued weakly, before you struggled out of his embrace, and lunged yourself off of the bed, before grabbing your phone, and surprising him by retrieving a pen-knife you’d been hiding under your bed in case anyone ever tried hurting you again like your kidnapper had years ago.

He faltered, hastily shaking his head whilst he drew back, and lifted his hands up in surrender, not wanting you to think he was going to force you to do anything - even he knew that it was smart not to continue trying to stop you when you were in a state like this, enough to prompt you to threaten him even if he was trying to help you, but he knew it was difficult for you; knew that you’d not recovered yet; that you were still stuck thinking right now that you were trapped within some form of that nightmare, even if it were over, now, and would hopefully never happen to you again, no matter what the future held for you, after today.

“Woah now,” he began slowly, “it’s okay - I’m staying over here, okay? I’m not gonna do anything; I’m not like him, you know I’m not, just don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

“I just wanna hear her,” you admitted shakily, your voice cracking as you did, and his expression would soften, before he nodded gravely.

“Okay,” he replied gently, “then call her, see if she’s awake, but-.. if she’s not-”

“Don’t,” you spat weakly; sharply, and he would fall quiet again, “don’t you dare - I won’t let him take her; she will answer, and if she doesn’t-”

“She’s safe,” he reassured you again gently, “just try, and you’ll see, I promise.”

You hesitated, evidently nervous, before you began to shakily unlock your phone, allowing you to bring up your messages, alongside her number, but as soon as you noticed the phone symbol in the corner of the screen, you hastily pressed your finger down upon it, and waited anxiously for her to answer the call.

🜸

By the time you’d called her, she was already awake, struggling to sleep; tossing and turning, until she heard her phone buzzing, dragging her out of her thoughts regarding you, and what her mother had told her regarding your and her relationship. It rattled her more than anything else ever had before. She hastily sat up, grabbing her phone in the process of doing so, before she faltered, and tensed up a little upon noticing your name on her screen.

She didn’t hesitate, sliding with her finger to accept the call, before she shakily held her phone up to her ear, almost regretting doing so as soon as it had been done.

🜸

All she heard at first, was you sniffling barely audibly on the other side of the phone, prompting her heart to ache excruciatingly as soon as she realised that you were crying, for a reason unbeknownst to her. You couldn’t speak, at first, your hand shaking at your right ear whilst your Uncle watched you quietly; cautiously - he still didn’t know what to make of the situation, right now, with you still holding the pen-knife.

“Regina?” You managed, your voice briefly trembling, barely audible, and she sucked in a sharp breath subconsciously, her heart skipping a beat as soon as she heard your voice.

“Y/n?” She replied, and you would express relief, evidently glad to hear that she was okay; still there, and hopefully not in the clutches of the man who had kidnapped you the way he did, a few years ago, now. “Are you - Are you okay? What - What’s wrong?” She questioned, sitting up even further in her bed as she even shuffled toward the edge of it, as if she were deciding whether she should go back to your Uncle’s ranch to check on you, and make sure that you were okay; she didn’t like the idea of you being alone, whilst you were like this, evidently not knowing that your Uncle was with you in the room right now, you holding a pen-knife at him as if you still thought he were about to hurt you, or try and stop you from protecting her somehow when he could never do anything like that to you, especially not when he’d made a vow to protect you to your mother, before she’d left after the divorce.

You frowned, wrapping your left arm around your legs as you shuffled even further back against the wall, your eyes glistening as you tried to find the right words to say, your bottom lip shaking whilst your throat felt as if it were burning; sore from crying, and screaming the way that you were, a brief moment ago, before your Uncle had let you go to call her like you were, now.

“I - I’m,” you began feebly, your words stumbling over themselves, “I’m sorry-”

“Y/n,” your Uncle began gently, but you wouldn’t listen to him, hastily shaking your head; you didn’t want to be told that it wasn’t your fault; that none of this was, because you knew that things could have been different; you knew that maybe you could have done something to fix this; to fix everything that happened; to fix yourself even after all that had been done to you, before.

“I should never have-.. I-” You faltered again, struggling to hold yourself together as your face crumpled, and you began to cry again, your grip on your phone tightening. “I’m sorry, okay? I really am, I-”

“Y/n, stop-” Your Uncle continued, but you would move away before he could inch any closer than he had, despite you still holding the pen-knife in front of you as soon as he’d made to move again like he had.

“The - The truth is,” you began again, trying not to allow your voice to shake anymore than it already had, by briefly biting down upon your tongue, even as you began to taste blood, and tears continued to leak out of your already red and sore eyes, “I like you, Reg, more - more than I had planned to, and I-.. I’m so-..” Regina didn’t know what to say, her heart silently breaking alongside your own as she listened to you trying, and struggling to hold everything within you together, just to try and stay strong for her, though she still didn’t know what had prompted you to react the way that you were; to call her, instead of anyone else, during times like these that you were at your weakest; she’d never heard you like this before. “Look, I-.. if - if he takes me today; y-you don’t know him, but-.. if he takes me,” you continued, a little more urgently now, your voice trembling even more whilst your hand began to shake again, your heart pounding, “don’t look for me, don’t even ask for me, don’t-.. don’t even-.. please, just forget about me, okay? Please? Will you?”

“What? Y/n, what - what are you talking about?” She questioned, evidently getting nervous, now, her eyes full of the concern she was currently holding for you, whilst her own heart began to pound uncomfortably within her chest. “Y/n-”

“I’m sorry,” you repeated a little weaker, “I-.. just don’t let him get you, too.”

“That’s enough, Y/n,” your Uncle continued, before he hastily got off of the bed, before taking the phone from you before you could even try and take it back from him, wanting to hear her voice just for one short moment longer, even if you really were safe right now, and weren’t still trapped within the nightmare you’d been plunged into not too long ago, now, “c’mon-”

“No!” You cried, but he held the phone away from you, carefully pinning you down upon the ground before you could scratch at him using the pen-knife; he knew that it was a hard situation for Regina to be in, too, not knowing about what had happened to you regarding you being kidnapped the way you were, and he knew he shouldn’t let it continue for as long as it was, so instead of giving the phone up to you, he put it up to his own right ear, before saying goodnight, as well as apologising to Regina, and ending the call, but she couldn’t let what she’d heard go, shaking her head as soon as she noticed the call had been ended, before she got up, and rushed down the stairs.

🜸

“You can’t do this!” You cried, desperate to call her again, but still he wouldn’t let you have the phone back, keeping it in the pocket of his jacket; he often stayed up late, keeping watch of the horses if they were particularly loud, and that was what he had been doing, before he’d heard you screaming and crying upstairs. “I have to call her again, please!” You begged, struggling against his hold as he removed the pen-knife from your left hand, before carefully picking you up off of the ground; you needed to relax, somehow, as he carefully laid you back down upon his bed, before taking up a bottle of sleep medication that tended to help you sometimes, on nights like these. “If I lose her, I-”

“You won’t lose her,” he cooed, as he carefully encouraged you to take the pill, before offering you the glass of water he’d got you earlier - this was often a common occurrence, at night; he liked to be prepared for you if ever you needed more of your medication or for him to stay with you until you fell asleep again after being plunged into a nightmare like the one you’d just had not too long ago, now. “She’s always gonna be here for you, I promise,” he added gently, “no matter what - I can tell, I just-.. I’m worried about - about what she’ll think, if she-.. if she knows, about what happened to you; she doesn’t know yet, remember? She doesn’t even know about the divorce, does she?”

“She does,” you contradicted a little sleepily, your voice quieter than it was, before; the pill was already taking effect, it seemed, as you subconsciously snuggled a little into your duvet whilst your Uncle sat on the edge of the bed beside you, “I-.. I told her. I-.. I don’t know why, I just-.. I-”

“It’s okay,” he reassured you, smiling softly down at you, “I understand.” He sighed, before laying down beside you whilst you stared up at the ceiling, your eyelids growing a little heavier than they were, before. “Try and get some sleep, okay?” He encouraged, and you would hesitate, before nodding slowly, though it was a struggle to focus anymore; struggle to quiet your mind, when all you could think about was how you hoped Regina was safe, even though you had been brought back to reality by now.

🜸

Regina didn’t waste any time getting downstairs, her heart pounding overwhelmingly whilst she made to grab her coat from the hanger, but before she could open the door after swiftly retrieving her car keys, her mother came out of the kitchen, startling her as she jumped, and leaned heavily against the door for a moment after Mrs. George had tiredly said her daughter’s name to her right.

“Mom?” She managed, her voice barely audible, and sounding as if she were still shaken up after what had happened, earlier. “W-What are you-”

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Mrs. George interrupted suspiciously, and Regina would wince, hastily bowing her head as a lump began to form within her throat again - she couldn’t let her mother stop her from seeing you, after you’d called her the way that you did, all broken up and sounding more scared than she’d ever heard you before, only making her heart ache even more excruciatingly than it ever had before. “What are you doing, missy?” She questioned, but before Regina could muster up a response, her mother continued, and she found herself struggling not to cry, as she bowed her head, and blinked her tears back whilst her mother surveyed her curiously all the while, wondering if Shane had fought with her again, before she’d rushed down the stairs the way she had, phone loosely in her right hand. “Don’t tell me, it’s Shane, isn’t it? He upset you again-”

“It’s Y/n,” Regina managed, her voice briefly trembling, and her mother’s expression would soften as soon as she heard the pain in her daughter’s voice, no matter how much she tried to hide that she was struggling, the way she currently was, after you’d called her a brief moment ago, “she-.. she’s-”

“Oh, honey,” her mother cooed sympathetically as soon as Regina found herself breaking down, unable to fight back her emotions any longer as she collapsed into Mrs. George’s arms, crying quietly into her left shoulder in a strained manner, as if she were still trying to hold the tears and sobs back, somehow, after they’d managed to escape her the way they had, a brief moment ago, now, “it’s okay - you’re okay; everything’s okay, you can tell me - what’s wrong with Y/n? Did you guys have a fight, or-? Or is she-?” Mrs. George appeared worried as she held her daughter at arms length, her eyes a little wider than they were, before. “God, no, she isn’t hurt, or - or even dead, is she? Talk to me, Regina, you’re scaring me-”

“I can’t stay here,” Regina managed, a little more firmly, though her voice still shook for a brief moment, as she withdrew from her mother’s embrace, even stepping back as Mrs. George drew closer to her again, “she needs me-”

“But it’s late, sweetie-”

“You used to be okay with late nights,” Regina reminded her exasperatedly, desperate to get to you as fast as she possibly could, so she could make sure that you were okay; she hated that she weren’t with you right now, especially when you sounded so scared, before, “please, mom, let me go to her, please!”

Mrs. George sighed, before nodding gravely, and averting her gaze for a brief moment as she thought about what she could do to keep her daughter safe in the process, afraid of what accidents she could get into in a state like this, but she tried her best not to conjure up subconsciously any images in her mind of a car accident waiting to happen. She’d have to go with her, if she wanted to protect her the way she did, and had ever since she had first been born, a few years ago, now.

“Fine, you can go, but I’m not letting you go alone,” she decided, before Regina could slip through the front door the way she’d been making to, just as her mother had made to continue.

She groaned, evidently displeased by her mother’s choice, but before she could complain, Mrs. George took the car keys from her, only annoying her even more.

“What? But-”

“And I’m driving, missy,” Mrs. George continued, before slipping by her daughter to open the door, “so are we doing this, or not?”

🜚

The drive felt longer than it ever had before, like a million lifetimes were going by, and they still hadn’t got to his ranch yet though it was quite close by to her mom’s house, as well as near to Northshore High School, but Regina didn’t want to think about how she’d have to go back there tomorrow right now - not when she was still worried about you, the way that she currently was, and had been ever since you’d called her the way you did.

“You okay back there, hon? You’re very quiet,” Mrs. George inquired, and Regina would hesitate, before nodding, and forcing a smile over at her mother through the rear view mirror, but she couldn’t get the smile to reach her eyes as she bowed her head again quickly, trying to hide that her smile dropped as fast as she’d brought it on. “Hey,” her mother continued gently, seeing that her daughter was still in pain, and definitely nothing short of worried about you, as she carefully reached her left hand behind her to gently and reassuringly squeeze Regina’s own, but it still shook a little once she let go; she couldn’t calm down; couldn’t stop her heart from pounding, and she hated it, but she couldn’t quite get herself to want to go home, not when they were both so close now to your Uncle’s ranch.

As soon as the driveway came into view, Regina sat up, her eyes a little wide as they surveyed the area, as if she were expecting to see blood stains, or weapons, or broken windows, only to find that the place seemed unscathed, prompting her to express relief, her heart instantly slowing down a little as she relaxed back into her seat just a bit, but she was still tense, telling herself that she wouldn’t be happy, until she saw that you were okay; still breathing, and not cold inside, as long as you were still here.

“Who’s there?” A familiar voice called out, and that was when Regina noticed that there was a figure approaching the car warily with a flashlight.

“This is the right place, isn’t it, sweetie?” Her mom asked, but Regina couldn’t bring herself to answer, hastily getting out of the car, before she rushed up to your Uncle, and couldn’t help, but shove him, assuming that maybe he had something to do with how scared you sounded, since he’d interrupted the call, before it was ended the way it suddenly was, earlier. “Regina!” Mrs. George called after her, running toward them both to wrap her arms around her daughter, attempting to pull her away, but Regina wouldn’t let her mother stop her.

“Where is she, and what have you done to her!?” She cried, and your Uncle would frown, shaking his head subconsciously, before he sighed, and looked warily back toward the house; he’d been expecting this, but wasn’t phased, as he smiled apologetically back at both of them.

“She’s inside,” he answered calmly, before his eyes darkened a little upon him realising he may have to tell Regina and her mother the truth, now that they were here, prompting him to appear slightly dejected in response to his own recollection of what had happened to you a few years ago, now.

He remembered all the sleepless nights, wondering when the police would call him back; when you’d be brought home, and it was painful - he himself still had nightmares about it, sometimes, and it filled him with a boiling hot rage to think about how long it had taken them to locate you; how your father had done nothing himself to help you, not even looking alongside the search party he’d put together for you, but he guessed that was in the past, now, and could never be changed - at least you’d finally been brought home; a little broken, but still alive, and home.

He sighed heavily, appearing tired, now; he’d been awake for a little while, after you’d woke up from the nightmare you’d been plunged into a little earlier, shaking him up slightly to the point he found he just couldn’t get anymore sleep, worried about how you might need him to comfort you again, at some point; he never wanted to not be there for you, when you needed him, especially not after you’d hardly been looked after by your father and mother, considering your mother was focused on getting away, whilst your father had been more content drinking than he was looking after you.

Even that made him scowl subconsciously down at the ground again; maybe if your father had been looking after you, you wouldn’t have been taken, and wouldn’t have to had gone through the abuse that you did at the hands of your kidnapper, years ago, now.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. L/n, I didn’t think she’d-”

“It’s fine,” he reassured, smiling feebly back at Regina’s mother, before he gesticulated toward the house, and switched off his flashlight, “come inside for a little while - it’s cold out, and-.. I feel I have some explaining to do for Ms. George, here, as well as you, but Y/n, she-.. she’s upstairs, sleeping, at least I think she is, and I’ll let you see her if you want, but-.. she needs rest, and most likely won’t wake up until the morning comes around, now - is that okay?”

Regina hesitated, before nodding slowly, and awkwardly shuffling on her feet - as long as she could see you, she was happy, so as soon as your Uncle turned to walk back into the house, she followed, her mother hot on her heels behind her.

🜚

“Sorry again, Ms George,” your Uncle began hesitantly, once they had all entered the house, and he had shut the front door to keep the wind out, “about the call.”

Regina’s mother would appear confused, looking between Regina and your Uncle as she tried to make sense of what was going on, right now, given that she hadn’t been around to hear the phone call between you and her daughter not too long ago, now.

“It’s fine,” Regina responded in a voice barely audible, cautiously watching him as he made his way over to the kitchen table, before awkwardly sitting down upon one of the chairs, looking as if his back were hurting him as he did; he’d never been quite so energetic after he’d been bucked off one of the horses, here, a little while ago, now, “but-.. why? Why was Y/n talking like that? Like she was about to get taken away, or - or even killed? You haven’t told us anything about that, yet-”

“In due time,” he reassured, before smiling apologetically over at Regina, and gesticulating for them to sit at the table with him, “first, maybe you should make yourselves comfortable for a little while, before I let anyone go up there and see her.”

Regina hesitated, at first, mostly because she didn’t want to waste anymore time when she could be going upstairs, and making sure that you were okay, right now, the way she wanted to ever since she’d got the call from you, in the first place.

“Regina, honey, let’s do as he says, okay?” Mrs. George encouraged, and Regina would roll her eyes, before nodding gravely, and moving toward the table before her mother could guide her toward it instead.

“Thank you, Mrs. George,” your Uncle replied, evidently grateful as he himself was struggling to keep up a strong front right now, considering what he knew he would be having to tell them both about you, soon, “this might be easier, sitting down, than it would be standing up - that’s why I thought this would be better, for all of us.” Regina couldn’t help, but scowl down at the table, as she fidgeted with her hands, desperate to get this over with so she could check on you, like he said she’d be able to earlier, before they all had gone inside to talk about what had happened, first. “Now that we’re here,” he began again slowly, in more of a strained manner, before forcing a smile up at them both, “I-..” He sighed, before standing up again, and making toward one of the countertops, Regina cautiously tracking his every move, though it did make her feel a little guilty, suspecting him of anything right now when he’d always been good to her, as well as you, whenever she was here, and not either at home, out with her other friends, or stuck at Northshore high. “Would anybody like a coffee, at all, or-?” He asked, and Mrs. George would practically jump on the idea, before she looked toward her daughter, only for her to continue protesting again; she wouldn’t accept anything, until she was allowed to see you.

“I’m fine,” she claimed dismissively, her mother frowning over at her, but she wouldn’t pay her any attention as your Uncle nodded patiently; respectfully, before he continued to the kettle to begin the process of making himself as well as Mrs. George a coffee - it was needed to keep them awake, of course, considering it was already so late, by now, for the two of them, whilst Regina’s energy was coming completely from her telling herself she wouldn’t do anything, until she was allowed to see you and make sure that you were okay, the way she feared you weren’t, alone right now, after you’d broken down over the phone the way you had still for a reason currently unbeknownst to her, during this moment in time.

“So, what - what happened with this call I’m only just hearing about?” Mrs. George inquired, and your Uncle would tense up, before warily looking back toward Regina and her mother.

“Y/n called me,” Regina answered, her voice a little dejected as she averted her gaze down to her hands again, “I thought you knew that-”

“No, I just - I didn’t know; I thought she messaged you, or something,” Mrs. George explained apologetically, as well as a little exasperatedly again, “I’m sorry, honey, but I didn’t - what happened on the call?”

“She was scared,” she replied again, a pained expression on her face as she had to try and swallow the lump forming within her throat again, “I could tell, she was - she-”

“She was taken, a few years ago,” your Uncle revealed, his voice barely audible, and both Regina and Mrs. George would fall quiet, looking over at him with wide eyes, before he sighed heavily, and brought over the two mugs to the table.

“Taken?” Regina managed, her heart feeling as if it were being squeezed for a moment as her voice threatened to tremble, your Uncle nodding gravely as he slowly sat back down opposite them, wrapping his hands around the mug as if he were seeking comfort from it, somehow - it was something he would forever and always hate having to talk about; hate having to even think about, or being reminded of, but he guessed some things were just doomed to stick with you forever, somehow.

“I guess she-.. well, it haunts the both of us, sometimes,” he admitted gravely, Regina and Mrs. George clinging to his every word, “you see, she was still quite small, when it happened; after the divorce, and her father had started drinking, she was alone a lot of the time, and this man, he-.. he broke into the house, the police said, and when he saw her..” Your Uncle faltered, his voice briefly trembling as he lifted his mug to his lips for a moment, needing something to try and help him hold himself together for them, as well as you; you needed him to stay strong now, more than ever, he believed, considering you were still being haunted by the man who’d taken you the way he did. “Well, he-.. you can imagine, what he did, right? It was a few days, at least, almost a week, or two,” he continued, after a little while he’d taken to recompose himself, knowing he had to continue at some point, feeling it was owed to Regina to know what had prompted you to break down the way you did, not too long ago, now, after the nightmare you’d had, “before the police found her - she hardly..” His voice broke again as he murmured a shaky and quick apology, secret tears clouding his vision, only making Regina feel worse for suspecting him a brief moment ago of hurting you and scaring you the way she feared he did earlier. “Let’s just say,” he managed after drawing in a sharp breath; another sip of his coffee, his head still partially bowed, “his voice, tonight, brought back memories for her, of dark rooms, and broken bones.” He sighed again, this time a little more strained as he smiled sadly up at the both of them, before bowing his head once more a little, feeling more small tears beginning to cloud his vision as he did, but neither of them dared say anything for a moment, until he continued. “It always does,” he added dejectedly, his voice close to a whisper, and Regina frowned as she started piecing things together, her eyes darkening whilst she did.

When she felt as if she could, she hastily lifted her head, leaning forward in her chair as she did, surprising her mother as she looked over at Regina, evidently startled by her previous moment beside her.

“Can I see her? Please?” She requested, her voice full of a new urgency; a more anxious desperation, and your Uncle would hesitate, before sighing again, and looking toward the staircase - he guess he did tell her that she could earlier, after all.

🜚

“She likes you, you know that, right?” Your Uncle stated, as he and Regina lingered by the door to your bedroom, a relieved, but still pained expression on her face as she looked over you to make sure that you were okay, now; that you weren’t scared anymore, or hadn’t somehow got yourself wounded in your previous bout of fright - you seemed okay, and it was only when she’d made such a determination that she could breathe again.

Regina hesitantly glanced up at him, though she didn’t like much the idea of looking away the way she just had, feeling as if she should to make it known that she was listening to him, just to avoid being disrespectful, especially considering he was your Uncle, only making her feel like - even more - she should treat him with respect, too, considering she could tell he’d always looked after you, as well as always been good to her ever since she’d joined the stable hand program earlier this year.

“She does?” She replied, her voice light, whilst a soft smile played on her lips - sometimes she got this weird feeling as if she were afraid that she might lose you, somehow, exactly like the one she’d experienced earlier, after the call had ended the way it did, and she couldn’t explain it; she just never wanted things to change; just wanted to stay here, with you, and the thought would fluster her a little as she winced, and hastily averted her gaze to try and hide that blood was rushing up to her cheeks for a reason unbeknownst to her, even as she was stood where she was right now, hardly able to keep her eyes off of your sleeping frame.

“She does,” your Uncle repeated, smiling warmly back at Regina as he rested his left hand upon her right shoulder - a silent thank you, until he could muster up a true one once he’d recomposed himself once more, still thinking about what that man had done to you years ago to the point it was unbearable; overwhelmingly excruciatingly, as well as frustrating, but he couldn’t let it get to him too long, not now, “and she hardly likes anyone - sometimes I’m not sure she even likes me, but I suppose I don’t blame her.”

“She likes you,” she reassured him gently, the words escaping her lips before she even knew that she was allowing them to; she didn’t want him to think that you thought bad things about him for what happened all those years ago, “I’ve seen what it’s like, Y/n not liking someone, and the way she is around you, is not that.”

“Is that so?” Your Uncle responded, and she could hear that he was smiling, making her feel a little better; warmer, and brighter, to know that she’d made him feel better, as he should considering he’d been the only one taking care of you even before your parents had divorced the way they did years ago, now. She hummed in agreement, certain of herself, and he would express relief, his eyes glinting a little as he smiled back at you, glad to see that you were sleeping peacefully, at the moment, whilst also being overjoyed to hear such words from Regina; he hated doubting that you at least trusted him after what had been done to you, but sometimes it just hit him - hard - and completely at random, but somehow he felt it wouldn’t happen anymore, now, or at least he hoped against hope that it wouldn’t, now that Regina had made such a revelation about you. “I’m glad,” he continued quietly; thoughtfully, before he turned to face her fully, and she would appear a little nervous, looking over at him again as she wondered what he may be about to say; whether he was about to kick her out, or about to leave you and her alone together, though she couldn’t imagine why either possibilities scared her as much as they seemed to, “but not just because of your kind words, Ms. George. You see, Y/n’s never really smiled, and didn’t talk as much as she does, now, and I think it’s because of you - that’s why I’m not only grateful for your words, and reassurance, but-.. I’m also grateful that-..” He fell quiet again, trying to stop his voice trembling for a moment whilst Regina smiled sympathetically over at him; she could see this was a struggle for him in more ways than one, after all he’d had to go through alongside you regarding your parents’ divorce, and then you disappearing shortly after it had taken place - if she were in his position, she herself didn’t know what she’d do, nor did she know if she’d even be able to fare if she had to go through what you had had to, even if it had been a while ago that you’d been taken the way you had, now. “Y/n,” he concluded gently, “I’m grateful she has you, above anything else - keep doing what you do, won’t you? Not only for me, but for you, and Y/n, too - you need each other, I can see that; we all need someone, don’t we?”

“I won’t disappoint you, nor will I ever let Y/n down, I promise,” Regina vowed, her voice firm, but still gentle, and close to a whisper; she herself feared breaking down somehow in front of him, as well as you, whilst another part of her was afraid of waking you up, and having you get scared again, “c-can I-..” She sighed, before awkwardly averting her gaze; it was difficult for her to get the words out, right now, though she wanted more than anything to stay here with you, at least just for tonight, so she could protect you, if only he’d let her. “I know this might be a lot for me to ask, but-.. can I-.. can I stay here, tonight, with - with her?” She managed, the question coming out faster than she thought it would, just because she was scared she would break down, or just start stammering again if she voiced it any slower, but your Uncle just smiled softly, a thoughtful look on his face, before he nodded slowly, prompting Regina’s eyes to glint, before she smiled sheepishly over at him, feeling lighter than she ever had before.

“Sure,” he answered simply, “I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind, just - call me, if Y/n-.. y’know, has another nightmare, and I’ll take over for you, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

Regina would wince, before nodding hastily, and managing a quick as well as barely audible ‘will do’, before your Uncle left the room, and disappeared back down the stairs, leaving her alone in the room with you.

🜚

At first, she didn’t know what to do with herself, warily looking over at you again as she subconsciously fidgeted with her fingers, before she inched closer to you, and carefully sat down upon your bed beside you. You were so peaceful; so quiet, that she even subconsciously made sure that you were still breathing, worried for a moment that you’d stopped because you were so limp, but your chest was still rising and falling steadily. She smiled softly, before laying down beside you quietly, wanting to make sure that - by staying as close to you as she possibly could be - you were safe; that you weren’t being plagued by another nightmare, but it relieved her to see you so peaceful that you couldn’t be being tortured by your memories again - at least she hoped you weren’t, of course there was no way to be able to tell if you were, or weren’t in the process of being plunged into such a nightmare again.

“Y/n?” She cooed, wanting to make sure that you were asleep, and weren’t - also - pretending to be asleep to trick her at the same time, though she felt bad for asking, when she saw you so peaceful, the way that you were, now. It relieved her to not achieve a response from you, but at the same time it also pained her a little to know that she’d have to wait until morning to speak to you, as long as you didn’t awaken from a nightmare again before then.

🜸

“Your daughter,” your Uncle began, as he re-entered the kitchen where Mrs. George was currently sitting, still drinking her coffee whilst she anxiously waited for Regina to come back downstairs, clearly unaware of her daughter’s decision, during this moment in time, “she’s decided she wants to stay upstairs with Y/n, if that’s okay with you?”

She sat up, surprised, before setting her phone back down upon the table to turn toward your Uncle, whilst she tried to hide that she was slightly perturbed by this revelation, only because she’d not been expecting it, and had been keen to get home.

“Sure,” she replied, injecting at least some brightness into her voice; she knew how much you meant to her daughter, and she didn’t want to force Regina away from you, “why not?”

Your Uncle nodded, before smiling softly over at her, as he took his coat off of the hanger again, knowing he should make sure the horses were asleep, by now, before retiring for the night.

“Now that we both know about your daughter, and my niece,” he continued, as he took up his flashlight, “I figure maybe we should fully introduce ourselves, what do you say?”

Mrs. George appeared taken aback, evidently surprised by his suggestion, but she’d feel guilty if she turned it down, and didn’t see any particular reason as to why she should as she smiled warmly over at him, and got up out of her seat, before she held out her right hand, and said: “June.”

🜸

It didn’t take long for Regina to get comfortable, but almost as soon as she had, carefully wrapping her arms around you, you tensed up within her embrace, whimpering barely audibly as your eyelids began to flutter open a bit, though they were still heavy. Regina winced, hastily closing her eyes as if it would help her to pretend that she were asleep, but that didn’t stop you from carefully turning around within her arms.

“R-Reg?” You managed, your voice close to a whisper, and she would falter upon hearing your voice, hastily glancing over at you as she locked eyes with you for a moment, her heart skipping a beat.

“Hi,” she replied sleepily, unable to hold back a smile from you as you admired her subconsciously, your heart pounding alongside her own, “I - I’m sorry, I just wanted-.. I came to make sure you’re okay; that - that you’re happy - I was worried about you.”

You frowned, a pained expression on your face, before you looked away, and turned a little away from her, lying upon your back instead of your left side.

“You shouldn’t have been,” you responded dejectedly, “I-.. I shouldn’t have called you, I just-.. I - I wanted to hear your voice, and-.. and to-.. to tell you that I-.. that you mean a lot to me, a-and that if I got taken away, you should-..”

Regina shook her head subconsciously, before lifting her left hand up to your right cheek; she wasn’t sure why - it just felt right, and part of her wanted to feel how soft your cheeks looked.

“I could never forget you,” she stated, and you would falter, your head turning toward her own again, and for a moment you both just locked eyes again, your hearts beating as one; the air growing hotter between you both, and for a moment you wondered if you were floating, even as you glanced down at her lips, and she at your partially agape ones, until she finally leaned forward, and allowed her own to connect with your’s.

🜸

“You like horses, don’t you, June?” Cal - Your Uncle - asked Regina’s mother, as she surveyed them all peacefully, trying not to get too excited or skittish around them; she’d always liked horses - well, the ones that weren’t a few hands taller than her, which she often considered to be intimidating as well as scary, somehow, even with their hairy hooves and often calm demeanour.

“Sure, I like them,” she answered, as she warily tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her right ear. “It’s only the really big ones that make me feel uncomfortable,” she added, and Cal couldn’t help, but chuckle, before he stopped before Firenze’s stall, your Black Leopard Chimera Friesian, who appeared to currently be half asleep, if Felicity, your White Friesian wasn’t currently bothering him the way that she was.

“You wouldn’t like Y/n’s horses, then,” he stated, before gesticulating toward them whilst June cautiously watched him approach their stall doors - he only stopped briefly in front of Firenze’s, before passing toward Felicity’s, seeing he needed to try and relax her, somehow, for her makeshift sibling’s sake - they certainly acted as if they were siblings, squabbling the way that they did, whether they were of the same bloodline, or not.

June hesitated, not sure what to make of them as Felicity whinnied as well as snorted at Cal, before playfully trying to nibble at his fingers, just like she tended to try and do whenever you were around her, too. Firenze was certainly the calmer of the two, except from when you were out riding with him - as soon as you’re in the saddle, and out on the field with him, he tended to like bolting almost as much as Felicity did.

“I - I mean,” June began again quietly, trying to hide that she was a little nervous around them, as she inched closer to Felicity’s stall, being encouraged to by Cal as he stroked the mare’s mane, “they’re certainly - interesting looking horses.”

“Cross-bred, I fear,” Cal admitted sympathetically, “we decided at an auction to rescue them from whatever hell-hole they must have came from, before.”

“How very - considerate, of you,” June remarked, and Cal would hum softly in agreement, before smiling his thanks over at her.

“Well, it did start off as being Y/n’s idea,” he revealed, as Felicity tried to nibble at his fingers again, whilst Firenze surveyed the group peacefully, “but-..” He sighed, a pained expression crossing his face again as he looked away from June; a look similar to the one he’d been holding and trying to hide from them earlier, whilst he was telling her and her daughter about what had happened to you, a few years ago, now. “I remember she told me she wanted to rescue as many horses as she possibly could, when she was a little girl, and at the time of that auction these two were almost as small as she was - she took one look at them and knew something wasn’t right; I remember she tugged on my sleeve, and was almost crying when I turned to look at her, and she never got to see them growing from the foals that they were, into these two beauties, by the time she could come back - life kept her away from me, you see, with the divorce; her being taken..” He trailed off, his eyes darkening again as Felicity nuzzled at his hand, no longer making any attempt at all to nibble at his fingers the way that she was, before, sensing his sadness, as well as frustration at how he’d not been able to do anymore than he had tried to help you, before, but he guessed that that was years ago, now, and that he shouldn’t be dwelling on it anymore, but it was too hard to forget, and too easy to remember.

“I understand,” June expressed, smiling sadly at Cal as she leaned against the stall door beside him, Felicity eyeing her curiously, “it’s hard, losing the people you really care about.” Cal would nod gravely as he stared ahead of him thoughtfully, June tensing up a little beside him as she thought about how she’d actually miscarried, a few years after Regina had been born. “Regina had a little sister, named Kylie,” she began timidly, her voice barely audible as Cal surveyed her, listening to every word whilst Felicity seemed to grow a little more comfortable around June, her blue eyes trained on her, before they occasionally flickered to Cal, or even Firenze as he lightly snored in the stall beside her, “she didn’t get a chance, at life - I-.. I miscarried, when.. when I thought she’d survive.. I guess the doctors did warn me, but..” She drew in a shaky breath, and Cal would frown, trying to provide comfort to her by wrapping his arms around her, as she tried to continue, only to break down, and return the embrace, crying quietly into his left shoulder. “Regina, she - she doesn’t talk about her, but,” June managed shakily, her voice close to a feeble whisper, “I know she thinks about her, even if she tries to hide it from me; she was excited, too, at the idea of having a little sister - she really was, a-and I really tried; I swear I did, but-”

“There was nothing that you could have done, Mrs. George,” Cal reassured her gently, as he rubbed her back to try and soothe her even more, Felicity still looking on at them, “these things, they just-.. just seem to - happen, when you least expect, or want them to; life can be cruel, but love - I’ve learnt - love can be crueler.”

🜸

“Shit,” Regina whispered, after she pulled away, wincing as she silently cursed herself for losing control like she just had, allowing herself to kiss you, but it was hard for her to deny that it wasn’t something she’d been wanting to do, and feel for a while.

You frowned, feeling empty ever since the kiss had ended, and you couldn’t bear to see the pained expression on her face, as if she didn’t feel the butterflies fluttering within the depths of her stomach the way they were your’s, right now.

“You-.. You didn’t like it, did you?” You guessed, your voice barely audible as you stared over at her with dark eyes, prompting her heart to sink as she averted her gaze, subconsciously sitting up as she did beside you, only making you feel worse; you guessed you shouldn’t have expected anything more, or else to happen, when she kissed you the way she did, and you’d melted into her touch - you only wished that things that felt so perfect could hurt less, as the pain you were currently trying to hide from her was next to unbearable; excruciating, but it wasn’t something new to you, as you - too - forced yourself to look away, staring dejectedly up at the ceiling as she tried to recompose herself, her breathing pattern unnaturally staggered, and uneven, whilst her heart pounded overwhelmingly alongside your own.

“This is-.. I - I’m not-.. I-.. fuck-!” She concluded, finding she couldn’t quite get the right words out; she didn’t know how to feel, right now - the kiss she’d just shared with you was like no other that she’d ever been part of, before, and it terrified her. As soon as her lips had been against your’s, it was like the whole world just fell away; it was just you two, alone, as if you both were the last two people on earth; like she was a lit firework, desperate to soar even higher - it had filled her with energy; elation, to be with you like that; to have her lips brushing against your own, and it was hard more than anything else had ever been before, for her to not turn back around, and initiate an even deeper kiss. “I didn’t think-..” She continued weakly, as she forced herself up off of the bed, whilst you silently begged her with everything within you to stay. “I’m sorry, Y/n, okay?” She managed, noticing the worried as well as hurt look on your face whilst she lingered by your bedroom door, as if she were about to slip through it, and get away from you as fast as she possibly could, if only something wasn’t gluing her to where she was stood, right now, for a reason unbeknownst to her. “I can’t do this; I can’t stay; I can’t kiss you - I don’t know why I thought I could, o-or should, I just-.. you understand, right? T-There’s Shane, a-and this is all - this is all so confusing, I just-”

“It’s fine,” you reassured her gently, though she could hear in your voice the pain you were currently trying to harbour from her, “don’t worry about it, okay? I should-.. I should get back to sleep, but-..”

“Right,” Regina agreed, before wincing again, as if she’d forgotten so easily, after she’d allowed herself to kiss you the way she did, a brief moment ago; it was like she’d forgotten a lot of things, until the kiss had sadly been broken - something she couldn’t help, but hate herself for. “S-Sorry,” she added, her voice barely audible again, before she drew in a shaky breath, and you smiled sadly up at her. “I-.. I should-”

“Don’t let me keep you,” you stated, and she would frown, before nodding gravely, and bowing her head.

“I hope you sleep well,” she replied, and you would wince, doubting that you would, especially now, but you didn’t dare show her the pained expression on your face that would suggest otherwise, after you’d nodded and forced a smile again.

“You too,” you returned awkwardly, though your heart was aching excruciatingly still alongside her own, to the point that you wished you could just tear it out of your chest, and break it apart in your hands, before offering the remaining pieces to her, whether she wanted them, or not; you’d never stop dreaming of a life with her - that’s all you knew, now.

“Thanks,” she responded gently, trying not to allow her voice to tremble as she avoided eye contact with you for a moment, before bowing her head completely as she shuffled awkwardly on the spot, “w-well, goodnight, a-and I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, won’t I?”

The question felt more like a plead, and you couldn’t help, but surrender to it, your eyes widening a little, before you nodded hastily, not wanting her to think that you’d abandon her like that, though it didn’t sound like a bad idea to just try and get yourself to disappear, somehow, after what had just occurred between you both a brief moment ago, before this moment in time.

“I - I’ll be there, tomorrow,” you reassured, your voice briefly cracking, and she would express relief, before smiling her thanks to you, though all she could manage right now was a faint one, through the pain she was currently experiencing alongside you for a reason unbeknownst to her, “a-and here, after school, y’know, d-doing what I usually do, so-..”

“Good,” she mused thoughtfully; gratefully, “that’s - that’s good - I’m.. I’m glad, I-.. I’ll see you there, o-or here, I-..” She awkwardly cleared her throat, before managing another timid smile in your direction. “See you tomorrow, Y/n,” she concluded gently, before drawing in another strained breath, and dragging herself from the room.

🜸

“I think she likes you,” Cal stated, as Felicity whinnied at June, before allowing her to begin scratching at her left ear, all whilst she leaned into her touch, but before either of them could continue, Firenze seemed jealous, waking up shortly after in response to the commotion, before he got up off of the ground, and neither for Cal to stroke him, too, as well as his makeshift sister.

“You do?” June mused, subconsciously smiling over at him, not worried anymore that Felicity might nibble at her fingers the way she feared the mare would, before, seeing her all playful with Cal, earlier.

“Without a doubt,” Cal answered, “that’s unusual, for her, as well as her brother - they’re comfortable around me and Y/n, and understandably so, but around other people, except for you and your daughter, they seem-.. anxious - that’s why I only really allow myself or Y/n to ride them, outside of the arenas - well, only when there’s a lesson going on inside.”

“I see,” June responded thoughtfully, “so they’re that difficult, huh?”

“They can be,” he agreed hesitantly, “but not if you show them who’s the boss, as well as treat them with the respect that they deserve - isn’t that right, guys?”

“If only they had a better upbringing,” June mused sympathetically, and Cal would nod gravely beside her.

“They’ll get there, someday, I hope,” Cal continued gently, as he began stroking at Firenze’s left ear, “I have faith, Mrs. George, and faith is what will get us all through to where we need to go, in the end-”

“Mom? Mr. L/n?” Regina called, hugging herself as she walked toward the stable, shivering a little - the wind was picking up even more, somehow, since she’d left.

June would falter upon hearing her daughter’s voice, looking toward the double doors, whilst Cal seemed to tense up behind her, his eyes full of worry, as well as the concern he was currently holding for both you and Regina, wondering if you had had another nightmare, and that’s why she’d left all of a sudden, though he couldn’t imagine why the sleep medication would have worn off so fast, especially to enable you to be plunged into another nightmare like he assumed you had been, until Regina had rushed inside, looking shaken up, as well as a little guilty, her eyes dark, and hands barely visibly trembling at her sides.

June didn’t hesitate to - upon noticing the state her daughter was currently in - to rush over to Regina, before throwing her arms around her.

“What’s wrong, sweetie? You’re cold, we should get you inside before you get sick - is it Y/n?” She questioned, whilst Cal warily approached the both of them, Firenze and Felicity going back to squabbling rather than watching the group.

Regina didn’t know what to say, at first, hiding her face from the both of them as she neglected to return her mother’s embrace, finding herself unable to move for a moment as guilt positively consumed her; she wished she’d never left your side, now, especially the way she had, leaving you so dejected and confused, whilst she tried not to meet your Uncle’s worried gaze; she didn’t want to tell him what had happened; didn’t want to tell him that that was why she was leaving - that she was scared of how the kiss had made her feel, especially when she had been the one to initiate it in the first place.

So many questions were circling in her mind to the point that there had never been anything more overwhelming - whilst her mother tried to get answer after answer out of her, there were whispers of why she’d let herself kiss you, in the first place; whispers of why you’d returned the kiss, and - above all of them - why she had enjoyed it, more than she had ever enjoyed any other kiss she’d ever shared with anyone else.

“Is she okay?” Cal asked, and she only felt worse, hearing his voice briefly cracking; she’d never intended to worry him like that, remembering the promise she’d made him to never let you down, whilst she couldn’t help, but think about the day she’d found you having a panic attack within the stable, when you were least expecting yourself to.

She was meant to be mucking up with you again, at the time, as she rushed toward the stable, trudging through the mud that had formed after the rain had poured down heavily that day - the lessons had all been cancelled, because of it, she remembered being disappointed about, but she understood why. Only the stable hands were allowed to come by, and past the information point, but there weren’t many so it was quite quiet, but - in a way - she liked how quiet it was, mostly because she knew it would be rare, then, for anyone to come by and interrupt her incoming time with you, and the soft smile would probably never have left her face, if she didn’t hear someone sounding like you crying inside.

As soon as she heard you, her heart dropped, and smile faded as she lingered by the door for a moment, not sure what to do; why it hurt so much, to hear you like that, and she worried that maybe it would be intrusive of her to go inside, now, whilst you were in a state like that, but something pushed her to open the doors before she could even think to go and get your Uncle, instead. She had to see you; she didn’t want to leave you alone like that, and her legs took over for her, before her doubts could.

She appeared nervous, as well as concerned, her eyes darkening as soon as her gaze fell upon you, curled up, and crying against the back wall, a shovel laid down to your right beside you, only worrying her even more as she wondered if you’d somehow hurt yourself, or had fallen over whilst she was gone, as she rushed up to you, and crouched down beside you, her heart pounding alongside your own, faster than it ever had before.

“Y/n?” She strained out, her voice briefly trembling, and full of dread as she reached out to cradle your body close to her own, but you moved away before she could get any closer, evidently startled, and somehow scared of her for a reason unbeknownst to her, as if she were instead a figment of a horrible memory, rather than your friend, prompting her heart to sink and ache even further, as if it were being squeezed tightly within her chest at the very thought, of having you react to her in the way that you currently were, terrified of her, and shaking visibly against the wall.

The horses around you both seemed a little agitated, as well, upon seeing you in such a state, especially Firenze and Felicity as they looked on curiously at you both, their eyes also full of worry, whilst an occasional whinny came from their direction as if they were trying to get either you, or Regina’s attention

“G-Get away from me!” You cried, your voice close to a shaky whisper that might soon break down alongside you, as if everything within you was collapsing, somehow; your very core was being shaken by what you thought you’d seen, a brief moment ago.

Regina subconsciously shook her head, a hurt look on her face as she inched closer to you; she knew you didn’t mean it - that this wasn’t you seeing what was really in front of you. At the time, your Uncle had warned her of how you were liable to having panic attacks, but they weren’t very common, and were often easily rectified if ever in an emergency situation like if you ever had one during a riding lesson with the students your Uncle allowed into the place.

“Y/n, it’s me,” she cooed, her voice ever so gentle, and you would hesitate, before glancing up at her, your breathing slowing down as soon as your tearful and sore gaze fell upon her.

“R-Regina?” You managed, and she couldn’t help, but breathe a sigh of relief, her eyes glinting whilst a soft smile tugged at the corners of her lips again, brightening her up like a lighthouse would the ocean, and you couldn’t help, but get lost in her eyes, feeling safer around her than you ever had with anyone else before.

“You’re okay,” she continued, and you wouldn’t hesitate to collapse into her arms as she drew you close to her, once you allowed her to, and had recognised her to be - well, her, and not your kidnapper, all those years ago, “I promise - you’re safe here, and you always will be, no matter what.”

“I thought-..” You whispered feebly, your voice still shaking, whilst you tried to calm yourself down, focussing on her warmth to the best of her ability, rather than the picture of your kidnapper breaking into your room, a flashlight in his hand, whilst he held a crowbar in his other one. You drew in a shaky breath, clinging to her jacket tighter as you whimpered quietly, fighting back another strained sob to the best of your ability. “Him,” you managed again weakly, “I thought I saw him.”

You then winced, remembering she didn’t know about what had happened to you, before - well, she knew about everything regarding the divorce, but nothing about the kidnapping, so to speak.

“Him?” Regina mused, a pained expression on her face whilst you sniffled barely audibly against her left shoulder, not daring to glance up at her for fear of what she’d think of you; of what she’d achieve out of you - she had that kind of effect on you; the one that made you feel like you could tell her anything, and everything, and the truth was so close on your lips, but you couldn’t let it slip out; you never wanted to think, or even talk about it, ever again, if only your brain would allow you to forget it, forever, after today.

“My dad,” you managed, instead, trying to hide that it had relieved you, to be able to lie, like you just had, “I saw him - he - he was drinking again, he-.. he was shouting, a-and I-.. I-”

“It’s okay,” she reassured you again hastily, not wanting you to panic anymore than you already had as she lifted her right hand up to the back of your head, allowing her to stroke your hair, soothing you more than you thought possible as you drew in a barely audible breath again, and buried your face into the crook of her neck, prompting her to shudder a little, but she tried to hide that you’d flustered her as she pretended to cough, and you appeared a little dejected, closing your eyes tightly to try and fight back the remaining of your tears, “I’m here - I’m here, Y/n, a-and I’m always gonna be here for you, I promise, I-.. no matter what; he isn’t here anymore, and he can never hurt you again - I’d never let him; he wouldn’t ever be able to even touch a hair on your head, I swear, because he wouldn’t get through me - I swear on my life that he wouldn’t; you trust me, don’t you?”

You would appear taken aback by the question, before nodding hastily, sniffling again, and locking eyes with her, making your heart feel as if it had stopped, for a moment, as you tried not to get lost within her orbs again.

“M-More than anything,” you answered, without hesitation, “I - I’ve trusted you ever since I first met you, Reg.”

“Good,” she replied, evidently relieved to hear as much, before she smiled timidly over at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to forget how to breathe for a moment - how to even function, if she didn’t affectionately connect her forehead to your own, in an attempt to further provide comfort to you, seeing that you needed it still for a reason unbeknownst to her, “I’m glad, because - because I’ve also trusted you ever since I first met you, too - you’re-.. a really good friend; you always have been, and I wanna repay you for being here for me the way you have been.”

You tried to hide that the words ‘really good friend’ had dejected you, prompting you to smile half-heartedly back at her whilst your eyes darkened, and heart squeezed within your chest, feeling as if someone were trying to tear it to pieces somehow, whilst all you could do was watch, and feel it get broken in so many more ways in one, no matter how close you and Regina currently were - the pain would never go away, not until you stopped dreaming of a life with her, as well as stopped being plunged into nightmares about your past - something you feared could never happen, no matter how much you wanted it to. Besides - even if you were reluctant to let your dreams concerning her go - you knew that someone as perfect as her could never feel the same way for someone like you, could they?

‘I’m always gonna be here for you, I promise.’ Her own words kept circling her mind, even as Cal inched closer, his hands trembling a little whilst June, her mother, held her at arm’s length, tears slowly beginning to stream down her cheeks again.

“She’s fine,” Regina managed, barely audibly, her heart pounding uncomfortably again as she averted her gaze down to the ground once more, as soon as Cal expressed relief, before bowing his own head alongside her; he’d evidently been afraid that maybe you’d had a nightmare again, and freaked out on her, but it didn’t completely take his dread away, considering she was here, and not still up there with you.

“That’s good,” June mused, her voice gentle, and eyes never leaving her daughter, as if she were trying to search for the answer upon her to why she’d left you so suddenly, when you’d not even had a nightmare like they feared you had, as soon as they laid eyes upon her so shaken up again, “but-”

“Don’t,” she interjected, her eyes widening, voice trembling, whilst she tried not to allow a strained sob to escape her; talking wasn’t helping, when she was on the verge of breaking down again, “please.”

June winced, before smiling apologetically back at Cal, who sighed barely audibly, before nodding gravely back at her; he understood - it was difficult, and he didn’t want to force Regina in any way, shape, or form, to tell either of them about what had happened when she was set completely against doing so, for a reason unbeknownst to herself as well as the two before her. In a way, it felt like it was something dangling upon the tip of her tongue; she longed to tell people, in secret, that she’d kissed you, and that scared her - it was almost like an addiction, because at the same time she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to share any detail, at all, instead of going back upstairs to do it all over again.

She drew in a sharp breath, wishing she could stop thinking, and not just about the kiss, but also about how much she’d relaxed into it; how it made her feel - she couldn’t stop thinking about you, about all the times you’d smiled sheepishly in her direction, causing her heart to jump somehow in her chest, whilst she began to feel warm and fuzzy each time. She thought about all the times she held you, and you held her, and it was almost enough to make her smile softly down at the ground, until she remembered what had happened between you both a brief moment ago, and how it had ended; how she’d pulled away, and cursed herself for feeling anything for you, without you actually knowing that she did, and feared she always had.

June awkwardly cleared her throat, looking between Regina and your Uncle for a moment whilst she tried to think about the right words to say, now, after what had just happened, with her fleeing your room the way that she had.

“Maybe we should-”

“It might be for the best,” Cal interrupted dejectedly, and June would frown, before nodding gravely, whilst Regina didn’t dare say another word, not sure what to do with herself, now; not sure what to even feel, or think, anymore, now that she’d allowed herself to kiss you the way that she did, “but you can always come around another time, if you want to.”

“T-The place is gonna be open tomorrow, right?” Regina asked, her voice close to a whisper, and Cal would tense up, before nodding slowly, and smiling apologetically in her direction. “And Y/n’ll be-?” She continued, just to make sure.

“She’ll be here,” he reassured her, his eyes still warm regardless of what had just happened between her and you, as well as after the conversation she had had with him, promising that she wouldn’t let either you, or him down, “even if it rains - I take it we’ll still see you tomorrow, then, won’t we, Ms. George?”

“Yes,” Regina answered, without hesitation this time, and Cal would nod as well as smile his thanks to her, glad to see she at least wasn’t giving up on you, even though he and her mother still didn’t know why things had evidently changed the way they had.

“Then we’ll see you tomorrow,” he concluded gently, “goodnight, both of you, and I hope to see both of you again soon, outside of work and riding hours, if you ever wanna come around again.”

🜚

“What was that?” June questioned, once she and her daughter had left the barn, as well as Cal inside it, walking hastily back toward the car mostly because of Regina’s fast pace, but it didn’t stop her from occasionally as well as guilty and dejectedly glancing up at the house you were still meant to be sleeping within.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Regina answered simply, her voice barely audible, and sounding strained, as if she were struggling to hold herself together; struggling to stop it from trembling, even now; even after she’d kissed you, something she’d been subconsciously dreaming of doing for a while, now, only to find herself panicking, and drawing back the way she did though it had been one of the most blissful feelings she’d ever experienced before, to have her lips slot perfectly against your own.

“That might be the case, Regina, but I think this is something we should talk about,” her mother contradicted, and Regina would tense up, wincing, as she bowed her head, and hugged her arms closer to her chest, “why did you leave like that? Did Y/n do something to you?”

Regina faltered in place, her legs failing as she stopped in place, her eyes darkening; she couldn’t let you take the fall for her, even if it wouldn’t change how she felt, to have you kiss her, like she’d kissed you a brief moment ago.

“No,” she answered, without hesitation, sounding a little exasperated as she turned sharply on her mother, “she - she didn’t, she-..” She couldn’t stop it, small tears leaking from her eyes as her mother surveyed her curiously, evidently concerned, even as her daughter defended you, and she was still unaware of what had happened between you both. “I-.. It was me, okay?” She admitted weakly, and June’s expression would soften, her eyes growing a little warmer as she tilted her head partially, before lifting her hands up to her daughter’s shoulders.

“It’s okay,” she cooed gently, as Regina gradually began to break down.

“I did it-”

“Don’t cry, sweetie, it’s okay,” June continued in a softer voice as she drew her daughter into her arms, “just tell me what happened, and I’ll try and help you - I promise I will; the damage can’t be that bad, can it?”

“I kissed her,” she answered, in a voice close to a whisper, and June would fall quiet for a moment, realising.

“That’s okay,” she reassured her, and Regina would hesitate, before glancing up at her mother with a pained expression on her face, “h-how did it seem, to you?”

She would appear confused by the question, as well as a little further flustered by it, wincing again, before she bowed her head, and shuffled awkwardly upon the spot whilst she continued to try and swallow the lump back within her throat.

“W-What do you mean?” Regina inquired, as if she didn’t know, but her mother wouldn’t give in - not yet.

“You know what I mean, honey,” June insisted, her eyes trying to meet her daughter’s again, if only they’d let her, “how did the kiss feel, to you? Did you like it?”

“That’s irrelevant,” Regina contradicted, before pulling out of her mother’s embrace, and continuing toward the car, but June continued along the way, rushing after her daughter no matter how fast she walked ahead of her.

“Oh, c’mon, sweetie,” she pried, “I know you, and if you just talk to me about it, maybe I could help you!”

“Well you’re not helping me,” Regina spat, her voice briefly cracking as she opened the right back door of her mother’s car.

“Then tell me how I can help you-”

“You can help me, by shutting up,” she hissed, and June would falter, before nodding gravely, and appearing a little dejected, prompting Regina to falter, and sigh heavily as she looked away from her mother, not sure what had made her snap like that, but - all she knew now - was that she needed to be careful, around you, for her own sake, as much as your’s.

🜸

‘Well you’re not helping me!’ You heard Regina snap at her mother from a few paces below your bedroom window, prompting your heart to sink as you warily inched closer to the wall, before getting up off of your bed to sneak a glance at the two of them outside of their car.

Your lips tingled a little, as you thought back to the kiss, your heart skipping a beat, before it dropped and felt as if it were being squeezed excruciatingly all over again. You drew in a strained, shaky, and barely audible breath, your eyes darkening as you bowed your head a little, before releasing the curtain from your left hand; you shouldn’t dwell on it any longer, especially when you doubted anyone as perfect as her could feel anything for you, too.

“Y/n?” Cal began gently, his voice full of concern again as well as sympathy; he could tell that you were in pain, your shoulders tensing up a little as you glanced back at him, a lump forming within your throat as you scowled shook your head, small tears clouding your vision.

“It wasn’t her,” you claimed, without hesitation, “it - it wasn’t-”

“It’s okay,” he reassured you, a pained expression on his face as he drew closer to you slowly, the car outside slowly beginning to pull out of the drive-way, its wheels crackling upon the gravel, filling up the rest of the painful silence that passed between you both, until you felt able to speak up again.

“It’s not!” You cried, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore, steadily beginning to break down as he wrapped his arms around you, strained sobs slipping from your lips as you shook within his embrace, before returning it tightly, unable to stop thinking about her, and how her lips were so soft against your own, only making the pain worse than it was, before. “It was me! I scared her away; I kissed her,” you added hoarsely, and Cal would realise, his heart sinking alongside your own at such a revelation; he didn’t think Regina would reject you like that, but he held no hatred for anyone, but your father, and the man who had kidnapped you - he knew she must have her reasons, and she did, “it was all me; my fault; m-my stupid brain - she probably hates me, now-”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Cal contradicted hastily, not wanting you to think something like that as he held you at arms length, “I can see that she doesn’t; she probably just-.. needs some time, to think about things, but she told me herself that she’d be back, hopefully tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

You would appear taken aback, your heart skipping a beat, before you glanced up at him, sniffled quietly, and lifted your right hand up to wipe your eyes, but it didn’t stop the smaller tears from leaking out of the corners of them.

“S-She told you that, too?” You mused, and Cal would nod, noting that you’d said ‘too’, and not just ended the question on ‘that’, suggesting to him that you’d also heard from her that she’d be returning, the next day, like he had a brief moment ago.

“You doubted that she would?” He guessed, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and bowing your head again. “I see,” he continued slowly; thoughtfully, “well, I’m afraid the only thing you can do right now, is not worry about what’s already happened, and instead think about what can be done to make up for it, right?”

“I guess,” you agreed begrudgingly, your voice briefly trembling as you tried to recompose yourself even further, somehow, making yet another failure of an attempt to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Good,” he replied, before smiling softly over at you, but you didn’t feel any better, simply forcing a smile over at him, before you awkwardly shuffled on your feet, trying not to think about the kiss anymore with everything within you, but you found it to be the only thing you could think about, the rest of that night, as soon as Cal had hesitantly retired himself to bed after completing one more check of the horses, now all surprisingly asleep as they should be, until the sun came back up excruciatingly slowly for both you, and Regina, the remainder of that night.

🜸🜚🜸

Regina struggled to focus during the school day, even as she and her friends sat together in the cafeteria, you a little ways away from them; you never really tended to sit together - never even seemed to talk, during the day, until you and her met to work as your Uncle’s stablehands after all the school work was done and over with for you both. As usual, Cady and Aaron were sitting together, followed by Janis and her girlfriend from last year, whilst she, Karen, and Gretchen were sat on the end of the table, each talking amongst themselves peacefully, until Karen asked Regina a question, and she was snapped out of her previous trance of thought, trying not to look in your direction as soon as she’d been broken out of it.

Instead, she looked up at Karen and Gretchen, mustered up a half-hearted ‘hm’, before forcing a smile, and wishing someone would give her an excuse to look in your direction; she was desperate to see how you were; to see if you, too, were possibly thinking about what had occurred the day before, but it terrified her to think about how things could change, if her feelings were reciprocated, especially when she’d not even broken up with Shane, yet.

Gretchen appeared concerned, tilting her head partially in response to Regina’s unexpected reaction; she’d never seen her like this before.

“Are you okay, Regina? You’ve been - unusually quiet, today,” she mused, and Regina would wince, before shrugging, and acting as if she were unperturbed; as if nothing were phasing her, as usual - well, not since she’d recovered from the incident with the bus, last year.

“I’m fine,” she reassured, trying to inject some brightness into her voice, “honestly.” But they clearly didn’t believe her, still watching her curiously for a moment, until Gretchen decided to question her some more as she averted her gaze back down to the bottle of water she’d recently bought - she’d not really felt like eating, today.

“Have you even been listening to anything of what we’re saying?” She pried, and Regina would try and fight back a sigh, nodding begrudgingly as she reluctantly returned her gaze to her friends sat opposite her.

“Sure I have,” she answered, her eyebrows furrowing a little, “why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” Gretchen replied, truthfully, “unless you’re hiding something from us - are you?”

Regina tensed up, trying not to glance back at you again, as she fidgeted with her hands under the table, trying to find the right answer she could muster in response to her question.

“No,” she responded, a little defensively, as she tried not to express that she was getting a little flustered again, trying desperately not to remind herself of the kiss yesterday, but - no matter how hard she tried - it always seemed to come back to the front of her mind, as if it were a fresher memory than it truly was, “I’d never hide anything from anyone - especially not you guys.” Both Gretchen and Karen shared a look, and Regina tensed up even more, like a deer caught in headlights, but she wouldn’t let them win against her. “N-Not anymore, I mean,” she added, her voice barely audible, and hasty, as if she were afraid of you overhearing such a response.

“Okay,” Gretchen continued slowly, but Regina could tell that she wasn’t quite out of the woods, yet, “if you really were listening, can you answer Karen’s question about the acorns?”

Acorns? That confused her even more, her eyebrows subconsciously furrowing again as she appeared a little puzzled, before looking toward Karen who looked expectant, as well as a little intrigued, mostly because she still wanted to know if acorns were smarter than people, as well as eager to find out somehow what was plaguing Regina’s train of thought the way they could both tell something was, even as she tried to claim that nothing was vexing her in any way, shape, or form, no matter how much they claimed it was.

“Acorns?” She inquired, subconsciously, forgetting the task at hand, and Karen would make to repeat the question, before Gretchen spoke up again.

“See? You weren’t listening,” she determined, and Regina would try not to roll her eyes, realising she’d messed up, “what’s going on with you, today? You’re being weird; this isn’t - well, you, at all.”

She hesitated, trying to make something up, and fast, especially when she noticed that the whole table had just fallen quiet to her left.

“It - It’s nothing,” Regina stated, avoiding eye contact with each of them, “it’s just - I don’t know, me and Shane had a fight again, earlier - that’s all; it’s not a big deal.”

Gretchen’s expression softened, whilst the others appeared concerned as well as worried about their friend - even Damian, sat currently at least a couple tables away to work on lyrics with his boyfriend, Toby (a recent date of his since even before the night of the prom) - looked up upon hearing it had got a little quieter where the group were sitting, right now - something unusual for their table as a whole, even during the shorter break time that came before lunchtime tended to arrive.

She’d feel bad, she knew - if it weren’t an entire lie; she and Shane had, in fact, briefly fought earlier, just before the school day had started, and she’d first regrouped with the others for the day, but she still felt a little heavy, knowing it was what happened between you and her yesterday that she couldn’t stop thinking about, rather than her arguments with Shane recently.

“Are you okay?” Gretchen inquired, her voice a little lower, since it was more of a personal subject to be discussing right now, only meant for the ears of her friends, and preferably nobody else, you excluded, since you were also her friend, though the others didn’t really know about you, yet, considering you didn’t tend to hang out together during the school day the way she did the others.

“Yeah,” Regina answered genuinely - it didn’t phase her anymore, though it probably should; some of the things he called her were horrible, “I - I’m kinda used to it, now, so - it’s not a problem, I swear-”

“Dump him,” Janis interjected, her girlfriend Lisa nodding beside her, “he doesn’t deserve you, honestly.”

“Janis is right,” Cady corroborated, and Regina would nod thoughtfully, managing a timid smile over at each of them as they spoke, “he doesn’t - it’s like, ever since the year started, he’s been avoiding you; you guys used to hang out more, but now.. I don’t trust him - you should totally just drop him, find someone better - there has to be someone else here that you like, is there?”

She didn’t dare answer, though your name was lingering uncomfortably upon the tip of her tongue, especially after her heart had jumped at Cady’s use of the word ‘someone’, instead of simply just another guy, something that she knew would only make her feel uncomfortable after all she’d been through with her ex boyfriends, and Shane, recently, her recently developing feelings for you only adding to that unsettled pit lingering within her stomach.

“Not that I know of, yet,” she claimed, instead, though she soon found herself unable to stop thinking about you again; your voice, small and sleepy, the night before; your eyes glinting; her brushing her lips against your own - her heart jumped again, and she quickly looked away from Cady, shrugging as she tried to distract herself with her bottle of water, all whilst a soft smile tried desperately to play on the curves of her lips in response to the thought of you, and her kissing you the night before. “But I’ll dump him,” she concluded, certain of herself, sounding determined, whilst her friends all appeared relieved at such a revelation, “I just need to wait for the right time to do it.”

🜚

Gravel cracked beneath her boots as she walked up the driveway of your Uncle’s riding centre, light rain droplets falling upon her and the floor below her as she moved swiftly, hoping to find you out in the riding pasture like your Uncle had stated you would be, in an email to each of the stablehands detailing their timetables today; what they were meant to be doing; where they were meant to be, right now, until - as well as a little after - the riding lessons were done for the day, and the horses were catered for until the next morning.

She wrapped her arms around herself, the wind biting a little though she was wearing a jumper, and quite a thick one, hoping it would keep the cold out completely, before she’d arrived here again. A couple other stablehands walked by her, talking amongst themselves and giggling quietly, until they disappeared around the corner, into the stable, but she didn’t stop and follow them, though she wanted to make sure that you were where you were meant to be, before she interrupted a lesson for no particular reason, except to talk to you about the previous night, not sure yet still what she was hoping for from you, as well as herself.

She also had made sure to keep her head down as she passed them, knowing she was probably supposed to be helping them out with arranging tack for the next set of riders, instead of going to the pasture the way that she was, her heart skipping a beat as soon as she noticed the outdoor riding arena coming into view, opposite the indoor one almost directly. She’d never really been in the indoor riding arena before; it was mainly for private lessons, as well as for the training of the horses who seemed to have more of a - challenging and wild personality than the others did - at least, that was what you’d told her the first day she’d arrived here, and asked you about it.

She couldn’t help, but begin walking a bit faster, determined to make things right, somehow, now more than ever, whether that was by just talking to you about what she did, or by doing something she was more afraid of, but she guessed she’d just have to see how you’d react to her, first, as she leaned against the pasture fence, watching you leading the students on Gile, a Buckskin Tobiano Mustang who had a tendency of being grumpy, especially when you’d first introduced her to him.

You rode so well; she couldn’t help, but watch in awe for a moment - she’d been struggling, herself, to get the hang of it, whenever your Uncle had allowed you to give her a lesson alongside the other stablehands as a reward for their work, completely free. She almost forgot what she’d came over here for, until she noticed your Uncle walking over to her, prompting her to wince, and hastily avert her gaze as she wondered if she should just speed-walk out of here, considering she couldn’t think up any other excuses for being here, and not where the others were, currently, preparing for the next group’s lesson in almost less than half an hour - if she wanted to talk to you, and fast, with a resolving of what she’d done the night before, she’d have to do it quickly - like, right now, before he could reach her, and usher her away from the outdoor arena, when that was - unbeknownst to her - the opposite of what he was planning on doing, currently, if only she knew that, herself.

“Remember, keep steady,” she heard you advise the students, walking along behind you, her heart pounding within her chest uncomfortably as she gripped on a little tighter to the fence, trying to find the right words to say, as well as trying desperately not to let go, and flee before it was too late to talk to you, when she felt able to do so, “the horses can sense your fear, and you need to make sure that you treat them with the respect that they deserve, whilst showing them who’s boss if they step out of line, so don’t let yourself slip, but if you do, treat them right, and they’ll treat you right, too.”

“She’s right,” Regina corroborated, and you would falter, your heart skipping a beat as you looked toward her, your eyes glinting a little as you lifted your right hand up to stop the students behind you from getting any closer, your Uncle wincing as he looked over at you, before returning his attention to her, “your strongest muscle, and worst enemy, is your mind - train it well.”

“Regina,” you began timidly, your heart squeezing a little as you remembered the night before, whilst your eyes darkened all over again, but you tried to stop the smile on your face from faltering the way it longed to, at least a little; seeing her would always make the ends of your lips curve up just slightly, as long as she were there with you, the way she was here for you, now, and intended to always be there for you, no matter what, even after what had happened between you both the night before, “w-what are you-”

“I’ll take over for you, Y/n, for a bit, okay?” Cal decided, and you would hesitate, before nodding, and smiling faintly your thanks to him as you carefully dismounted Gile, so your Uncle could instead ride him for the remainder of the lesson, as you jogged over to Regina, and quickly climbed over the fence so you could be out of the way of him as well as the students, especially when they were about to be trotting over some of the poles that had been laid out before the lesson had begun for them.

“Hey,” you greeted a little nervously, as she shuffled awkwardly on the spot for a moment, warily looking over at your Uncle to make sure that he wasn’t looking over at you both, before she gently took your left hand in her right one, mouthed a quick ‘follow me’, and rushed you away from the outdoor riding pasture.

🜚

Time seemed to slow down, for a moment - at least, you felt like it did, as you surveyed her peacefully, your eyes light, and heart pounding still in your chest as her hair flowed behind her, making her look even more like a goddess than she already did. You tried to fight back a sigh, especially since you knew it would sound weird, as you raced behind her, taking a while to catch your breath, until she snuck you into the next stable, and led you over to Firenze and Felicity.

🜸

“What are you doing?” You questioned, once you and Regina had stopped before their stalls, a sheepish smile on her face as she beamed over at you, evidently glad to see you again, after yesterday night’s events.

“What does it look like I’m doing, Y/n?” She inquired, as she carefully took down a couple of bridles, you watching her warily as she walked back up to Firenze’s as well as Felicity’s stall.

“Regina,” you began cautiously, but she wouldn’t listen, “don’t-”

“We won’t get enough time together, if we stay,” Regina interjected gently, and you would falter, a pained expression on your face, before you nodded gravely, and nervously looked away from her, your gaze stopping at the double doors, but luckily they were still closed, and you couldn’t hear anyone passing by, or getting any closer to them.

“Then give me one of the bridles, and I’ll tack up a horse for you,” you replied, and she would frown, evidently disappointed as she glanced back at you; she’d been hoping to ride Felicity, to keep her and her makeshift brother together, but you knew what Felicity liked to do, and you couldn’t risk Regina being flung off of her.

“But-”

“Please!” You begged, and she would sigh, before nodding begrudgingly, and passing on one of the bridles to you; if you and her were going to be riding outside of the establishment, then you wanted to keep her safe, so you moved away from Felicity’s stall, and instead walked toward Sunrise’s one.

🜚

You and Regina slowly walked side-by-side upon your horses, you on Firenze, and she on Sunrise, a pretty dapple grey Dutch Warmblood. Though she tended to slow down a lot without being instructed to do so, you felt she would be better off riding her, instead of Felicity, considering the White Friesian mare did tend to like bolting a lot more than Firenze did, whenever you or your Uncle were riding her outside of the compound.

“How are you doing, over there?” You inquired, trying to hide that you were smirking upon hearing Regina’s quiet struggles beside you, evidently finding it difficult to settle into the saddle more than you ever had.

Regina winced, evidently embarrassed as she tensed up a little, Sunrise snorting as she tossed her head a little, evidently nervous in response to her rider’s discomfort, but you managed to reach over, and hold part of the mare’s rein to try and stabilise her, though you doubted she’d bolt like either Firenze or Felicity would.

“I’m fine,” she claimed, not wanting to appear like she couldn’t handle the mare beneath her like you were managing Firenze, “you don’t need to worry about me - I can do this, I swear!”

“Not like that,” you contradicted gently, and she would grunt, before you reluctantly released the rein, warily watching Sunrise for a moment, before you returned your gaze to her after determining that the mare was calm, enough, “sit up, first, and keep your feet in the stirrups - do not move them out, just yet; you aren’t ready for that.”

She would hesitate, before begrudgingly doing as you told her to do, prompting you to express relief as you surveyed her peacefully, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Okay,” she replied slowly, “what now?”

“Just focus on Sunrise, now,” you answered, “keep a good hold on those reins, but don’t pull at her bit too much, okay? You need her to know that she can trust you; that you know what you’re doing, otherwise she won’t trust you, and will probably end up trying to buck you off of her-”

“Wait, what?” She interjected, and you would wince, Sunrise snorting again as she prodded along, whilst Firenze tossed his head alongside her; they’d evidently not appreciated her interruption, sensing that she was still a little uncomfortable in her position.

“Don’t think about that, now,” you advised her hastily, but still in a soft voice, not wanting to startle the horses any further, “just focus on the reins, and the speed you want her to go. You remember what I told you about slowing down, right? Squeeze her sides a bit, and pull back on the reins-”

“I remember that, I just-..” She trailed off, wincing, before she bowed her head a little, and you would frown, bringing Firenze a little closer to Sunrise so you could encouragingly squeeze her left shoulder using your right hand, prompting her heart to skip a beat as she glanced over at you for a moment, her eyes glinting, and smile beginning to grow back just as easily as it had gone away. You then faltered, remembering the night before again as you tried not to glance down at her lips, your eyes darkening, and heart sinking as you forced a smile over at her, before you removed your hand from her shoulder, trying not to break down, or lose your focus, especially not right now, with Firenze, and the possibility of him bolting when you were least expecting him to. “Hey,” she began gently; a little dejectedly as she averted her gaze back down to the reins, “I just-.. I wanted to bring you out here because-.. because I wanted to tell you that I - I’m-”

“Don’t,” you interrupted weakly, and she would fall quiet, a pained expression on her face as she looked over at you, tensing up a little again as she wondered why her heart felt as if it were being squeezed all over again, “I-.. there’s nothing for you to be sorry for, okay? We were both - both tired, a-and-..”

“Yeah, but-.. why?” She questioned, and you would appear puzzled, as well as a little scared as you looked over at her, your eyes full of a little anxiety as you wondered what she were trying to achieve out of you after what had happened between you both last night.

“Why were we both tired?” You inquired, hopefully, but she would hastily shake her head, appearing a little exasperated in response to your own question.

“No,” she answered, her voice trembling a little, “I - I meant - why? Why didn’t you push me away, then? If you didn’t like it, why didn’t you push me away? None of it makes sense-”

“Does it have to make sense?” You retorted, and she would falter, a hurt look on her face in response to you snapping at her the way you had, prompting you to falter, a pained expression on your face as you bowed your head a little, your eyes darkening again as guilt as well as shame began to overwhelm you; you hated upsetting her, the way you could tell you had a brief moment ago. You both rode along in silence for a little while, universes of pain spreading between you both excruciatingly, but you didn’t know what to say, so instead you allowed what you were currently thinking to slip from your lips, instead. “I’m sorry,” you continued a little shakily, as small tears began to cloud your vision, a lump beginning to form within your throat again, and Regina would frown, her heart aching for you in response to the sound of your voice breaking the way it did, prompting her to glance over at you, her expression softening as she did, “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Y/n-”

“I-.. I can’t always know the answer,” you interrupted feebly again, and she would shake her head hastily, not wanting you to feel as if you had to explain yourself like that, especially when it prompted you to begin putting yourself down again, something that hurt her almost as much as it hurt you, whenever she heard you cursing yourself for things like this, “a-and I hate myself for that, I really do, I-”

“It’s not your fault,” she contradicted gently, and you would hesitate, before you fell quiet, and glanced over at her again, your heart skipping a beat as soon as your gaze fell upon her; her soft eyes, sweet smile - it was an effort not to get lost within her orbs all over again, all the while you still found yourselves longing to glance down at her lips, your own tingling again at the thought of the kiss you’d shared with her last night - if only she’d not made you crave it even more than you ever had anything else before, as soon as she’d shared such an addictive experience with you. “It’s mine, okay? You know it is,” she reminded you, but you didn’t want her to take the blame for it, either, making to protest, before she continued again, “I’m sorry.”

You hastily shook your head again, your heart pounding against your ribcage uncomfortably whilst you tried to find the right words to say, but your thoughts were too loud, and your lips were still tingling as the memory of the night before kept replaying within your mind.

“Reg-”

“No,” she interjected, sounding a little exasperated again, “you don’t get to apologise for things that aren’t your fault, okay?”

You faltered, hesitating, and she could see that you still felt as if you should protest, your lips moving a little for a moment, as your eyes appeared thoughtful, but her voice had been firm, as well as soft enough, to deter you from doing so.

“Okay,” you answered, instead, and she would express relief, glad that she’d managed to get through to you, before you could panic anymore than you already had, a brief moment ago.

“Good,” she replied gently, her eyes growing a little warmer as she hesitantly returned her gaze to what was ahead of her, reminding herself of what you’d told her, before, about making sure you knew the environment around you, to prevent yourself from having an accident whilst riding outside of the compound the way you both were, right now, you still on Firenze, and she still on Sunrise, the two horses calmly prodding alongside each other as if they were unperturbed by what was currently going on above them both. “I’m sorry,” she began again, her voice barely audible, as if it were growing to be more of an effort to speak with every second that passed between you both, a heavy wall pressing down upon both of your chests and throats, making it harder all the more to not break down the way your emotions seemed to want you to, right now, riding alongside each other with small tears clouding each of your visions, “I - I really am, okay? I’m sorry that-..” She swallowed uncomfortably, her voice cracking as she did, but she couldn’t get rid of the lump forming within her throat. “That I left, like I did, a-after-..” She drew in a shaky breath, whilst you tried not to shake your head again, listening to her through partially ringing ears, your heart aching even more within your chest. “I should have stayed,” she stated, her voice a little firmer, and you could tell that she was angry at herself for not doing so, when you couldn’t blame her, at all; you just wanted her to be happy, and you felt as if you could never make her happy like that; the way you wished you could ever since you’d first met her, even when you didn’t know exactly what your feelings for her meant, at all, until this moment in time, “but that’s not the only thing I’m sorry for.” You appeared taken aback, evidently surprised by such a revelation; it only hurt even more to know that such things had been plaguing her just like they had you, just because of what had happened between you both yesterday. “I’m also sorry, b-because-..” She sighed, wishing this weren’t so hard; she had been hoping it would be easier, but she’d found that it had always been hard to find the right words around you, especially whenever you smiled at her like you did, every time your gaze fell upon her. “Fuck, why is this so hard?” She uttered, evidently flustered as well as frustrated, and you couldn’t help, but smile softly down at Firenze’s mane, finding it cute, how easily she could be flustered by some things, like she was, now. “Sorry,” she managed, as she winced, realising she’d said that out loud, only embarrassing as well as exasperating her further as she tried to start again for her sake, as much as your own, “l-look, I’m-.. I’m sorry, that I had nothing to say that night - I should’ve-.. I-..”

“Can we dismount, here? Really quick?” You requested, your voice close to a whisper, and she would fall quiet, her heart skipping a beat again as she looked over at you, her eyes widening a little as she subconsciously eased Sunrise into a standing position, and you would express relief, bringing Firenze to a stop beside her.

“Sure,” she answered curiously, “why?”

🜚

For a moment, all you could imagine flashed through your mind. You saw yourself pinning her gently against one of the trees to her right, your heart pounding alongside your own as you pressed your lips to hers, imagining yourself revelling in the feeling of her body against your own - a beautiful feeling. Butterflies fluttered around in your stomach; you tried not to look over at her too much, blood rushing to your cheeks; your urges were so vivid, so near, that you could almost reach out and grab them, but you didn’t want to lose her, so you kept your hands to yourself to the best of your ability.

Leaves crunched beneath both your, and her feet, as you trailed slowly side by side, leading your horses behind you as you admired the scenery around you, wondering if there were anything more perfect, than this moment you both found yourselves in.

“H-Hey, I, erm-”

“I missed you,” you began absent-mindedly, before wincing, your voice barely audible, blood rushing to your cheeks. Regina faltered, her expression softening as she glanced over at you, her eyes glinting just a little alongside your own; she’d missed you, too - all day today, whilst she was at school, as well as last night, even before she’d kissed you, and fled from your side again the way that she did, not too long ago, now. “A-All of last night, and-..” You fell quiet, and she would frown, before nodding gravely, and timidly linking her fingers with your own, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to falter in speech, mind, lung, and muscle, as you stopped beside her, and - as you were terrified of your feelings for her right now; of what they’d make you do - you hastily removed your hand from hers, stammering a little shakily; barely audibly, for a moment, whilst she appeared hurt by your decision as you stepped back a little from her side, avoiding eye contact with her to the best of your ability.

“Y/n-”

“I - I don’t think we should be friends, anymore,” you uttered, sounding a little exasperated, and strained, as if just sounding the words out was painful for you to do, whilst she, too, found it hard to hide that your words had struck her, leaving what felt like a burning hole within her chest.

“What?” She replied; she still couldn’t quite believe it, but you wouldn’t let it go, shaking your head as you stepped back again, before she could get any closer than she subconsciously had.

“I don’t-.. I’m not-” You struggled, your voice briefly trembling as you tried not to cry, an overwhelming lump within your throat again. “I can’t do this anymore; I don’t want this-”

“Y/n, stop-”

“I don’t want you,” you concluded weakly, though every word was far from the truth, burning your tongue excruciatingly as you wished you could just tear your heart out, and just give it to her right now, on more than just some silver platter, “I-”

“So that’s it?” Regina interrupted, a hurt look on her face, and you would falter, hesitantly glancing up at her whilst small tears leaked from the corners of your eyes.

“Reg-”

“You’re just gonna - what, throw us away? After everything?” She questioned, her voice firm, though you could still tell she was hurting, too, just like you were - you just wondered why. “Is this about the kiss, yesterday?” She inquired, the question throwing you off guard as you tensed up, before hastily lowering your gaze again as you bit down harshly upon your tongue, almost enough to draw blood as a faint metallic taste began to form grossly within your mouth, only to be worsened by her drawing slowly closer to you, a hopeful, as well as pained, and curious expression on her face.

“What? No, you-”

She didn’t hesitate, gently easing you against the tree behind you as she delicately pressed her lips to your own, and you relaxed within her embrace, your eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling.

“You liked it, didn’t you?” She mused, sounding a little breathless, her voice close to a whisper, and you would wince, not realising for a moment that the kiss had ended when it did, the realisation that it was over only making you feel empty inside all over again.

“Regina,” you began again feebly, a little nervous; you’d never been in a situation like this before, her eyes never leaving your own.

“I liked it, too,” she managed, though the words still felt foreign; dangerous, considering her previous ideals and personality, last year - it was unusual, but not in her own eyes, just in the eyes of the others, back at Northshore high, “t-that’s why I-”

“There you two are,” your Uncle interrupted, and you both would falter, tensing up as he and his horse, Willow, a Black Pinto Clydesdale, emerged into the clearing, their auras emitting the same calmness the pair shared, together, completely contradictory to your and Regina’s current demeanours, as you warily asked him the question you were first thinking of, your eyes doing all the talking they needed to do, for you. “Don’t worry - the session’s still going; Desdemona’s got it covered,” he explained, his voice gentle, just so you both knew he wasn’t angry, at all; he was more relieved, than he was anything else, glad to see that you two were at least still talking, after yesterday’s events.

You expressed relief, as well as dejection, forcing a smile, before you nodded gravely, and averted your gaze again.

“I-..” You began slowly, your voice briefly cracking as Cal warily looked between you both, his eyes looking as if they were trying to scan through the both of you; trying to determine the skip, drop, and squeeze of your heart beats, as if they were that easy to read, right now, just through the ways you were both standing; the way you were trying to form a sentence, only to fail miserably before the girl you loved, and the man you considered to be your only family, after all that had happened to you, all those years ago, with the divorce, as well as the kidnapping that had previously befallen you. “We-”

“I can give you both some more time, if you need it?” Cal suggested, his voice already knowing, but neither you or Regina dared to respond, finding you couldn’t even muster up the right words to say, each one stuck within your throats, but it wasn’t something new to him - not at all. “Do you?” He continued, and Regina made to nod, but before she could say anything, you were shaking your head, and uttering that you had stuff to do, before you walked hastily back to Firenze’s left side, and carefully climbed back up into his saddle, gone before she could even say goodbye to you, only making her heart ache even more within her chest, somehow. “She’ll come around,” he reassured her gently, and she would wince, realising she’d zoned out, a pained expression on your face, as soon as you had disappeared back into the woodland behind them both, “she just-.. needs some time, probably, to think about things.”

Regina frowned, before nodding gravely, and awkwardly shuffling on the spot as she tried to recompose herself, feeling pathetic for how she’d just acted around you, before.

“I know,” she corroborated, her voice soft, though it longed to crack like your’s had, the lump still stuck within her throat, and her face still warm, like it usually was when she was trying not to cry.

“Good,” he replied, evidently glad; he didn’t want her to think that you’d left, and would never talk to her again, now, regardless of what had just happened between you both; he knew you too well, to even fear that you’d completely leave her alone like that - even after the world had done you wrong the way it did, all those years ago, you still tried; you would never abandon those you loved, he only hoped that such a trait never left you, for both your sake, as much as her own.

🜚

On the ride back, neither of them said a word to each other - at least, not until they were about to leave the woodlands behind them, the academy’s arenas coming in to view just about beyond the tree-line, before it could be broken, and they would be out in the open again.

“I’m sorry,” Regina managed, her voice barely audible, and heart aching again as her eyes darkened; she hated how she’d left you the way she did, last night, when she feared you needed her the most, in the state that you had been, before she’d arrived, and - regardless of how right the previous moment had felt between you both - she still felt guilty for reacting the way she did; for pressing you against that tree, and kissing you again; it was something she never thought she was capable of allowing herself to do, before, considering she’d always tried to hide her own secret desires the way she had been, until she’d first met you, and began to see and think of you everywhere she seemed to go, away from here, “for - for last night - I shouldn’t have-.. y’know; I should have stayed with her, and I hate myself for leaving, I swear I do, I-”

“She understands why you did it, Ms. George,” Cal reassured her gently, but she didn’t want you to understand; she wanted you to hate her for what she did, though the thought of you hating her was painful, in itself, “and - in a way - so do I.”

Regina curiously looked over at him, though she didn’t mean it any disrespectful way; it was just a surprise to her as it wasn’t something she’d ever heard him talking about, before, despite her being around him and you for a while, now, almost proper family to you, in some ways - at least, she wished she could be that for you. Little did she know, that you did feel that strong of an attachment to her already, and it was almost unbearable when things became the way that they were, now, between you both, especially when you found yourself rejecting her, afraid of disappointing her, as well as of what Shane might do, considering she was still with him, currently; still arguing with him everyday, and trying to hide it from you, though you could see through her the pain and frustration it was putting her through, you just never thought part of that pain would be a manifestation of what was also going on between you both, too.

“You do?” She mused, almost sounding relieved, and Cal would nod gravely, before smiling faintly over at her.

“I do,” he repeated gently, “love, it does - curious, things to people.”

Regina faltered at his use of the word ‘love’, her heart skipping a beat, before she hastily looked away from him, trying to hide that she could feel her cheeks beginning to warm up in response to his phrasing; she’d never considered ‘love’ as being what her feelings for you, were, but - in a way - it felt like it made sense, and the word seemed more appealing to her, now, as a soft smile began to tug at the corners of her lips as she found herself unable to stop thinking about you, and what you might be doing right now, again.

“Love? What makes you think it’s-”

“Feelings, then,” Cal rephrased, and Regina would frown, before nodding slowly in response to his interjection - she already missed the previous word, but not as much as she missed being with you, the way she was earlier, “everyone’s had them - whether they’re love, or something less, they’re there - you might be scared of them, right now, but you won’t be for long, that much I can promise you, it’s just what they do to you, after-..” Your Uncle sighed, whilst Regina looked over at him, a concerned as well as curious expression on her face as he seemed to be trying to recompose himself, small tears clouding his own vision as he avoided her gaze strategically, desperate to try and keep himself together for you, as well as for her, but the thought of how his late husband had gone made his body weak, each day that passed by since his own passing - the cold of his bed’s left side would never go away, when he woke up in the morning. “I’m sorry, Ms. George, but I really must be checking on the session, now,” he stated, his voice a little more strained as he forced a smile over at her, “just - give it time, and you’ll see.” He then eased Willow into a trot beneath him, only making it a few paces away from her, before he halted his stallion again. “Oh, and by the way,” he continued, as Willow prodded slowly toward the end of the tree-line, “we were all young once, Ms. George, never forget that, will you?”

🜚

Cal’s words followed her everywhere after he’d gone, as she trotted Sunrise back toward the stable, being as careful as she possibly could, considering she was by herself, now, no-one to protect her if something went wrong, but she didn’t blame you for rushing off the way you did, after what had previously happened between you both. She knew Cal said she should wait, but it was painful trying to hide from her feelings, something silently pulling her toward the house as she sneakily rushed up the porch, looking around her warily, before she eased open the front door, and immediately headed for the stairwell.

🜸

You were inside your room, crying, at the time; you’d tried to hold it all back, but the emotions soon came flooding out of you, as soon as you were alone, curled up upon your bed the way that you were, now. You sniffled barely audibly against your pillow, hugging your knees to your chest as your shoulders shook a little with every strained and uncontrollable sob that escaped your lips - you didn’t doubt you would have been stuck like this for a while, if she didn’t stop outside your door, and knock on it gently the way that she did.

🜸

As soon as she reached the door, she faltered, a pained expression on her face as soon as she heard you crying behind it; it was unbearable. For a moment, she couldn’t lift her right arm to knock, instead allowing her palm to press against the door as she tried to work up the courage to do something, anything, and it then struck her that you were only a few paces away from her, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she smiled softly, and managed to pull herself out of her brief trance, before she knocked upon the door, and you managed a feeble ‘come in’ in response to the sound.

🜸

Before she could open the door, you were hastily wiping your eyes, and forcing yourself to sit up. You evidently expected Cal to be stood on the other side, your heart dropping, and muscles tensing up as soon as your gaze had fallen upon her. She stared back at you, lingering anxiously by the door as she fidgeted a little with her fingers again, her heart pounding overwhelmingly alongside your own.

“Y/n-”

“W-What are you doing, in here?” You questioned, and she would frown, a hurt look on her face as she bowed her head for a moment, trying to find the right words to say.

“I-.. I don’t know, I just-.. I guess I just-..” She sighed, evidently frustrated again - even her cheeks were turning a little pink; you couldn’t help, but find it adorable, trying not to show that her current demeanour was making your skin buzz with elation. “I wanted to see you, okay?” She managed, eventually, sounding just as exasperated as she looked, right now. “I-..” She fell quiet, her heart sinking as her eyes darkened, prompting you to feel a little guilty as you bowed your head, fidgeting with your own shaky fingers alongside her, as she timidly drew closer, hoping you’d accept her presence, this time. “I’m sorry,” she began again, her voice briefly trembling; sounding dejected, only making you feel worse, but still you didn’t dare look up at her - everything about her was just too-.. tempting, and you couldn’t take the way you felt around her; your feelings were growing to be too intense; more than they ever had, before, “f-for earlier, I-.. I really-”

“It’s fine,” you reassured her gently, and she would express relief, her heart skipping a beat as her eyes began to glint a little again, “it-.. it was my fault, anyway.”

That took her aback, again; she hastily shook her head, not wanting you to blame yourself for what she’d done as she then stepped even closer, your heart pounding even faster somehow with every step she took, only a few away from your bed, now.

“I-”

“Reg,” you interjected gently, but your voice was still firm - it was a warning, and nothing less than that; you didn’t want to lose control of yourself around her, especially when she was so close to you, right now, only leaving you more afraid than ever of what you’d end up doing; of everything you were imagining yourself doing, even after what had happened between you both, earlier, within the clearing.

“I know,” she replied, her voice soft and strained, and your heart begged to surrender to her, but you didn’t want to make things worse for her like you feared you would, if ever she decided she wanted to be with you, instead of Shane, “look, maybe-.. maybe we don’t have to talk about it, right now, if you don’t want to? W-Would you let me just-.. stay with you, l-like I should have, last night?”

You would appear taken aback by her suggestion, your heart positively soaring in response to it; you couldn’t think of anything you’d ever wanted more, as you tried to win back control of a clear mind, only for it to get cloudy and loud again within it, as she sat down upon your bed, before smiling lovingly in your direction. This would no doubt be the hardest night of your life, as well as the best thing that had ever happened to you, so far.

🜚

You still couldn’t bear to look over at her, especially as soon as she came out of the bathroom in her pyjamas, your heart skipping a beat as you noticed her loose-hanging clothing, trying not to think of anything, but the sound of the horses’ galloping outside, evidently playing within their pasture as they neither occasionally, or snorted - it made you smile, to think of Firenze and Felicity playing out there, before their own bedtime could begin, alongside your and Regina’s.

“What did your mum say?” You asked, sounding a little nervous, and Regina would shrug, seeming unperturbed as she finished up brushing her teeth, before rejoining you on the edge of your bed again.

“She’s fine with it,” she answered, and you would raise your eyebrows; you could tell when she was lying, and - for a moment - she winced, before hastily averting her gaze down to her hands, “okay, I didn’t tell her, but-”

“Then what did you say?” You questioned, appearing a little more worried, now, whilst another part of you tried desperately not to smirk, your eyes glinting as she appeared confused by your demeanour, as well as a little relieved, tilting her head partially to the side as you surveyed her peacefully, trying not to get lost within her orbs, though they felt like oceans of calm, to you, your heart-beat not pounding as overwhelmingly as it usually did, whenever you were around her, as long as you were looking into her eyes the way that you were, right now.

“You don’t really care, do you?” She guessed, and you would fall quiet, wincing, as she grinned sheepishly over at you; knowingly, and for a moment she seemed to lean closer to you, and you would falter, your blood running cold, and heart beginning to pound against your rib-cage again as you drew back from her, and hastily looked away to try and tell yourself that you were just imagining it; she couldn’t still want to kiss you, why would she? Regina faltered, a pained expression on her face as she looked away from you, too, her eyes darkening; she didn’t know why your action had hurt so much, and nor did she know why she kept feeling as if she were magnified to you, even more so after the kiss had taken place between you both, yesterday, as well as a little earlier, today. She sighed, timidly fidgeting with her fingers as she tried to find the right words to say again, not wanting things to just be awkward between you both, now, the way that they were. “I’m sorry,” she offered gently, and you would tense up, only for a moment, as you glanced over at her again timidly, forgetting how to breathe as you admired her again - it just didn’t seem possible to not be able to do so, “I don’t know why I-.. my mom, I told her I was at another friend’s house - she probably won’t suspect a thing, in fact, I promise you she won’t - just-.. please, don’t worry about that - we have a night together to enjoy, right? Whatever bad that might happen can come later, but right now we’re happy here, aren’t we?”

You couldn’t help, but smile softly, blood rushing to your cheeks, even as you hesitated, your eyes glinting once they were locked with her own again.

“We’re happy,” you corroborated gently, and she would express relief, smiling warmly back at you as she wrapped her arms around your waist, prompting you to tense up again within her embrace for a moment, evidently not used to how it felt, still, to have her arms around you the way they were, now.

“Good,” she replied, glad, as you timidly returned the hug, now flustering her a little as she couldn’t help, but beam over at the wall, even as she’d forgot how to breathe, briefly, alongside you, only remembering how to do so once it was necessary for her to, alongside you, but she knew at some point the hug would have to be broken, regardless, prompting her heart to sink, before she shot a sad smile over at you, released you from her arms, and tried to find more words she could use again without choking: “so, what do you wanna do?”

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed the first part! ❤️

[d3adlyromb3ar]

✰ sinking lily pads

— synopsis. he thrived in the sorcerer world, she was forced into it. how could two people that strayed so differently from each other become so close?

— pairing. gojo x oc!fem!reader (main), toji fushiguro x oc!fem!reader

— word count. 3.3k

— contents. heavy child abuse, torture, neglect, abandonment, angsty asf, injuries, blood/gore, depressing thoughts, suicidal ideation, dissociation, ptsd, mentions of death, jjk violence/fighting

— notes. ohhhhh goodness, the toji angst is heavy in this one. i will be a toji defender forever, poor baby didn’t deserve all that happened to him 😭

series masterlist | previous chapter

✰ chapter four. lost fragments

July 9th, 1999

The warm summer air was thick— humid and sticky as she stayed hidden under a bench outside. The same bench that she always went to.

Although over time, the bench had become abandoned. The vines from the wall behind stretching onto the stone, the gray concrete becoming covered with green. It was beautiful in a way, but sad to see such a relaxing spot become forgotten.

This spot was becoming too small for her form to fit, the space tight and suffocating. Although she didn’t seem to mind as the outside felt just as suffocating. At least in here, she could hide away for a little while.

She heard a pair of footsteps nearby, causing her to hold her breath as she attempted to stay as quiet and still as possible. Her body was tense, her arms squeezing her knees to her chest violently tight. The marks on her back screamed in protest, the pain shooting up and down her back as her skin was covered in goosebumps.

The footsteps got louder and louder until they stopped just in front of the bench. Her eyes darted down to investigate, only to relax when she saw familiar black shoes. She knew immediately who it was, the random shoe lace on the left foot, giving it away.

The figure kneeled down, tilting his head to peek under the bench.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Toji warned.

Moon shook her head, burying her face into her knees— hoping that by some miracle she could disappear from this place.

She missed the look the dark haired boy was giving her, his expression filled with empathy. He sat up straighter to glance around, noting how the environment was clear— for now. 

“Come on out, it’s just me.” He said in a softer voice, almost acting as if he was speaking to a frightened animal. 

She dared to look up from her knees, meeting his eyes as he stared at her from his position. His eyes were gentle and inviting— causing her to move finally. Toji released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, holding out his hand for her to take. She didn’t need help crawling out from her spot— but he offered her his hand anyway. She took it, slowly resting her palm in his— noticing quickly how his hands over time would become rougher to the touch. 

He guided her out from her hiding spot, not missing the winces she’d give every so often. Her eyes danced around the space as she was finally free of the underside of the bench's confinement. The space was clear— Toji hadn’t lied. 

“It’s okay, nobody is around.” He reassured her, noticing her look of paranoia, “I promise.” 

Her eyes darted back to his, relaxing from his gentle stare. She’d always feel comforted by him— especially because he was the only one in this place that hadn’t hurt her. He was her only light in this hell, therefore she clung to it desperately— to him. 

He guided her towards the bottom of a tree, his hand tugging her behind him. He sat her down, making sure every movement was slow— as to not spook her. 

“What happened?” He broke the silence, studying her face. 

She shook her head, staring down at the grass— desperately thinking of a place better than this one. 

He frowned at her silence, the pure fear she showed of speaking. It made him angry— angry at the ones who did this to her. 

“They hurt you again?” 

Her eyes darted up to his as he guessed it. Her eyes round and full of fear. He could only stare into her eyes, his own dimming from the look she gave. 

“I thought they weren’t going to stop.” She whispered to him, just barely loud enough for him to hear. 

“Let me see.” He asked suddenly. 

She didn’t answer at first, showing no indication that she wanted him to see— but it also wasn’t the first time he’d asked to see her injuries. Although, it was the first time he’d be seeing an injury so nasty, so severe. She knew he’d never hurt her, but she couldn’t help hesitating. 

“Moon, let me see.” He asked again, his voice stronger but still gentle. “Please.”

She took a deep breath before nodding, shuffling in her spot as she turned away from him. She stared into the distance, focusing on the leaves in the trees in front of her blow in the wind, anything to help relax her as she felt Toji lift the bottom of her shirt. She sucked in a breath as he lifted the material completely, bunching it up by her shoulders. It was then he could let his eyes scan over the many marks. His chest tightened at the sight, the red and angry slashes fresh, some still dripping blood. He hoped that the sight of none of the slashes being infected would calm him— but it didn’t. He was seething with rage inside, seeing red for the ones who did this to you. 

She felt the breeze brush her back, the exposed skin cooling from the air. It wasn’t unpleasant, but the fact that her back was very much exposed, caused her to breathe heavier. 

“None are infected.” He told her, bringing her shirt back down. 

She let out a breath she had been holding, her heart slowing finally. She turned back to face him, her gaze shining one of appreciation. 

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“Don’t.” He muttered, shuffling to lean back against the base of the tree.

She smiled weakly at his response. Having heard it before, and the rants he’d go on in the past. 

You don’t need to thank me, seriously. I’m doing this because I want to. 

His words from the past echoed throughout her mind. He was a sweet boy, but it wasn’t often he’d express that. She was just glad she knew what he meant in these moments where he spoke very few words. She knew deep down it meant more. 

“You’re stronger than they are, you just don’t know it yet.” He spoke out to the distance, knowing she was listening intently beside him. 

She furrowed her brows, watching his side profile as she was lost in thought.

“I don’t feel strong.” She admitted.

“You are.” He assured her. “You have cursed energy.”

She leaned her own head back against the tree, staring out with Toji— the trees swaying in the wind almost hypnotizing. 

“Then why do they hurt me?” 

Toji thought for a moment, turning his head towards you. Waiting until you locked eyes with his before he spoke. 

“They’re afraid of you, of what you’ll become.” 

Moon gazed into his eyes, the next words coming out with a struggle as she felt her chest tighten along with her throat. 

“Are you afraid of me too?” 

“No.” He answered quickly, no doubts laced in his response. 

His answer relaxed her, a weak smile appearing on her face again.

“Toji…” Her voice was soft, “Why do you stay?”

His brows furrowed, his gaze dropping to her intertwined hands resting on her knees.

“I don’t think they’d let me leave.” He answered truthfully. “Plus, I’d have no where to go.”

His voice was quiet and solemn. His eyes staying focused on her hands, he couldn’t let her read his emotions.

“If we ran away…”

“We can’t do that! They won’t let us even try!” He whispered out harshly, looking around to make sure of no eavesdropping ears.

“But we could… together.”

Her words were so tempting. Toji had of course thought many of times of escaping— running off somewhere far from this place. But also knew that they’d find them if they were to escape. If the clan was anything— they were consistent. They’d hunt them down.

“You think I haven’t thought about it?” He admitted. “There’s no use in trying. They’d find us eventually.”

“You don’t know that, we could hide somewhere.”

“I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life hiding.”

“But it’s better than living it here!” She raised her voice, upset that he wasn’t even giving it a chance. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take Toji!”

He shook his head, keeping his gaze lowered as he felt ashamed of himself for being so scared. The truth was, he was extremely afraid.

“I don’t wanna be here just as much as you Moon, but we can’t, okay?” He spoke softly to her, trying to calm her down. “I’m sorry.”

He finally raised his eyes back up to here, surprised when he didn’t find her features angry with him. Her eyes were gentle and compassionate— understanding. He didn’t deserve it, but he selfishly welcomed it.

“Maybe one day.” Was all she whispered in response.

Her hope was pointless, but appreciated as Toji enjoyed having even a sliver of positivity. He could only offer a weak smile in return.

“Yeah, one day.”

Moon tried to smile back, but found herself frowning when her eyes locked on a cut on the corner of his mouth. She kept her reaction minimal, only raising her hand— letting her thumb brush around the outside of the mark.

Toji couldn’t stop the small flinch when she brought her hand to his face, but didn’t shy away after reminding himself— it was only Moon.

Toji wasn’t one to be affectionate. The years of violent touches had tainted the want for physical needs. But as he met Moon and time went on, he found himself growing used to her touch. It was always so light, so warm. It had taken time and much of it, but he didn’t mind now in the moment— when her fingers brushed around his wound.

He almost wanted to smile at how delicate she was being, treating him almost as if he were a flower— a withering one at that. It was endearing.

“Does it hurt?” She whispered to him, her voice genuinely concerned.

“Not anymore.” He lied.

She sighed, noticing how deep the cut seemed to be. She frowned deeper when she wondered if it would scar. She hoped it wouldn’t, knowing that one day when he was finally free of this place— that the scar would remind him of all the horrid memories.

“What happened?”

Toji breathed for a moment, debating whether to tell her or not. Although, she’d be exposed to it eventually.

“I got put in this… pit.” He recalled the nightmare, holding her gaze. “These cursed spirits… they were everywhere.”

She sucked in a breath, the story haunting as he basically retold a near death experience.

“I thought I was gonna die.” He told her, his voice shaking.

Moon let her hand drop, grabbing his own palm beside him. She squeezed his comfortingly— assuring him that he was okay. Doing the same as he would for her.

“But you didn’t die, and you’re here now.” She told him, still wondering how he survived.

“Yeah, guess I’m stronger than I thought too.” He whispered, squeezing her hand back.

The two didn’t say anything more, letting the ambience of the wind running through the trees relax them. Moon scooted closer, leaning her head rest on his shoulder. Toji usually would shake her off, this level of affection still unfamiliar, but he couldn’t bring himself to move away. Instead he leaned his head on hers, letting himself appreciate her warmth.

He couldn’t stop the tears from falling as he let his walls down. It was easy to do it around her. He’d rather go back to the pit, than to cry— but he was tired. He also didn’t know when he’d have a moment like this with her again.

Moon felt his body shake, as well as she could hear the occasional sniffle. She didn’t turn to face him though, keeping her head wedged between his cheek and shoulder. She knew he hated to be seen like this. If he needed more from her, he’d let her know. She knew that. Instead she kept to his side, holding his hand still.

If only every moment could be like this, she thought solemnly.

Everything felt manageable when he was around.

(Present…)

The huge wave of relief could not be ignored as she gazed at her exposed back in the mirror. Her lips turned up slightly into one of a weak smile, of the sight of her skin untouched.

Guess there was a positive to losing one of her 9 lives. She thought.

She found joy in discovering that all her wounds, pains and scars, would vanish from her body once a life was lost. To some, the scars would most definitely be more welcoming than the weight of death. But to her, she would do it all over again. Anything to erase the reminders of her past. It was a foolish way to think, but she leaned towards that mindset anyway.

She knew the real scars were the ones she could never heal— the ones that littered her mind. The ones that had permanently poisoned the chemicals within her brain.

Never mind that, don’t think that way. She scolded herself.

Moon would take this small victory, using it to her advantage to push her forward. It had been a long time since she’d woken up and genuinely felt refreshed. Although, she still couldn’t comprehend whether that was caused from the fresh skin of her back in the reflection— or the talk her and Gojo had the night before.

It didn’t matter ultimately, she felt good. She would cling to that.

She got dressed quickly, fixing her hair into a single, long braid. Her hair was nearly reaching her rear, she knew she’d have to cut it soon.

In no time at all, she was meeting with the others on the steps of the school. She gave a couple pasta brushes on her uniform, smoothing down the material before she was spotted trotting down the stairs.

“Morning Moo Moo.” Shoko had greeted from her sitting position.

Moon couldn’t help but smile at the nickname, realizing it had been quite some time since she’d been called that.

“Moo Moo?” Moon asked, her tone playful.

Shoko took a drag of her cigarette before letting it rest between her fingers.

“Yeah I know, been awhile since you’ve heard that huh?” She joked, “You don’t mind it, right?”

Moon couldn’t help the guilt she felt for making her friends feel like they had to tip toe around her. It was her fault for causing the rift between them, and she’d promise herself to quit punishing them.

“Not at all.” She reassured her brunette haired friend.

Shoko smiled and took another hit, another voice joining in on the conversation.

“Ah good, I’ve missed calling you my little Moo Moo.” Gojo practically sung, making his way over to Moon.

“You've never called me that.” She pointed out.

“Well, I just did. And I’ll keep doing it.”

Moon rolled her eyes, but kept a neutral smile on her lips.

“Miss Dair,” A assertive voice called out from behind the group. “A word before you leave.”

Yaga stood at the top of the stairs, arms crossed as he waited for Moon to approach.

She walked her way up the stairs, her smile diminishing with every step she took. She didn’t need to be lectured today.

“Yes, sir?”

“I’m allowing you to go on this mission because I’m trusting you that you’ll be safe.” Yaga stated.

“Allowing me?” Moon whispered, more so to herself but of course Yaga heard.

“I could easily ground you for your recent reckless behavior. But, I know that this mission needs you.”

Moon nodded, deciding to stay silent as he spoke.

“I don’t want to be the person who holds you back from doing what you love the most— saving people.” He told her.

Moon swallowed nervously. Despite her urge to run away from this life at times— it was true that she craved to help and save people. She couldn’t change the way her heart was— even though she wished she could sometimes.

“Just please do me a favor and be careful. This doesn’t need to be the last time I speak with you, understood?” Yaga finished, her voice softer than when he started.

Moon nodded, her own features softening at his gentle words. She didn’t deserve Yaga to care so much about her, but she selfishly appreciated it in the moment.

“Understood. I’ll see you soon sir.” She told him, causing his lips to turn up slightly.

He nodded in agreement and turned away from her, making his way back into the school. Leaving her alone at the top of the stairs.

Before she could allow herself to get lost in her thoughts, she heard footsteps approaching her up the stairs.

“Everything okay Nines?”

She huffed and turned to face the white haired sorcerer.

“Really wish you’d stop calling me that.” She mumbled.

“Everything okay?” He asked again, considerately leaving her nickname out this time.

She gazed up at him, disappointed when she couldn’t see his blue eyes— his glasses covering them completely.

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, his tone indicating that he didn’t believe her for a second.

She thought for a moment.

“Yaga is just pissed at me because of what happened last time I was on a mission,” She told him, her voice low. “Just told me to be careful and whatnot.”

Gojo nodded his head, a spark of appreciation blooming in his chest at her honesty. He was completely expecting her to lie again, dismissing the topic altogether. So he was pleased.

“You know he just cares about you.”

Moon’s face scrunched up for a second, those words triggering her. That tiny part of her brain still and forever would refuse to believe that people could care about her. She also refused to let it control her, so even through the difficulties— she’d try her best to truly understand and accept that fact.

People did care for her.

“I don’t know why, I’m such a pain in the ass.” She joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Moon.” He warned.

“I know, I know… It’s gonna take me awhile until I can fully accept that, y’know?” She explained.

Gojo’s eyes softened behind his glasses, her trusting him enough to voice her vulnerabilities. He didn’t know what to say, and nodded to her instead.

“Like I said… deep down I know but…” She trailed off, “There’s a part of my brain that’s always gonna convince me otherwise. It’s fucking annoying.”

Her grumble made Gojo smirk despite the serious moment. He couldn’t help but find her adorable when she cursed— because it wasn’t often.

“I’m sure it’s irritating, but with time you’ll convince that part of your brain to think differently.”

Moon shrugged, not sure if that was possible— but hoping that it was.

“I hope so.”

“I know so.” He corrected her.

She shook her head, a smirk on her own lips.

“How can you be so sure of basically anything? It’s kinda creepy.” She wondered, her tone playful.

“Why do you sound so surprised? I am thee Satoru Gojo after all.”

“How could I forget with you reminding me every second of the day.” She pointed out.

“Uhh… I wouldn’t say every second. Maybe once a day, sure.” He corrected, making her giggle from his goofiness.

The sound had Gojo’s heart beating a little faster, the soft melody echoing in his ears. The way he wanted to be able to hear that noise all the time, every second of he could. It was beautiful— yet so rarely heard. It killed him inside.

“You two gonna flirt all day? We kinda have a mission to complete?!” Geto shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

Moon immediately rolled her eyes, but she found it hard to be annoyed from the comment. She felt good today, and nothing could ruin that for her.

Meanwhile, Gojo found the comment a little too personal. He had to turn away from Moon, his cheeks feeling hot— he didn’t doubt that they were a little flushed as well.

The two made their way down the stairs, joining with the rest. Shoko said her goodbyes, as she wasn’t needed for this particular mission. From there, the trio began their mission.

Protect the Star Plasma Vessel: a girl named Riko Amanai.

— ending notes. this is more of a shorter chapter, but i promise things will start picking up and they will get longer 🤍 thanks for reading!

[writingwife-83]

Hello! How do you imagine the first time Rey would wear Ben's sweater? 🦋

Yay for filling another long overdue prompt! 😅 Since I know you love my fic Somewhere Out There, I decided to write this little one shot as a bit of a prologue to that fic. It seemed to fit well. And I was obsessively listening to the song “I can’t hear it now” by Freya Ridings when I wrote this, so that’s where I got the inspiration for the title from. Go listen to the song, it’s got great angsty reylo vibes! 😭 (posted to AO3 but once again tumblr won’t let me link)

Silence So Soft

Rey woke with a gasp, so deep and violent that she nearly felt like she was choking, like surfacing from those dark waters on Ahch-To.

Sitting up, panting and resting her forehead on her knees, she blinked the blur of tears from her eyes. Just like she’d done the night before.

Just like she’d done every night for two full weeks.

She was exhausted, tired of feeling like she was grasping at life, trying to keep a tight grip, when it really felt easier to let go and slip into nothingness. She wished she didn’t feel this way, when the whole galaxy was rejoicing all around her. Everyone else had gotten what they wanted. She’d been left with only a gaping hole within her very soul.

The nightmares wouldn’t stop since she’d lost Ben. Sometimes he slipped away silently, like he had in reality. And sometimes he spoke, begging for her help as he faded and disappeared. Sometimes he reached for her and she couldn’t reach him, couldn’t even grasp his hand in those final moments. But no matter how she was forced to watch him go, she always woke in tears, feeling gutted and miserable.

Rey shivered a little, the perspiration beginning to evaporate from her skin and leaving her chilled. She stood slowly from the cot in her tent, knees still feeling a little weak. Everything on the base was quiet and still, and no doubt all were sleeping, so Rey quietly padded over to her little case of possessions and opened it in search of a cloak. But that wasn’t the first thing she saw.

She’s put this particular item away, almost afraid to see it and touch it at first. But she’d kept it… because she had to. She couldn’t let it go.

Rey gingerly lifted Ben’s black sweater from where it lay, holding it up and watching as a bit of moonlight shone through the gaping hole in the right side. She laid the heavy knit fabric on her lap, running it through her fingers, softer than she ever would have guessed. But then, of course it was. This was what laid against his skin, underneath everything harsh that he presented to the galaxy.

Unable to resist, she lifted it to her nose, breathing in deep and instantly feeling herself carried back to the moment where she’d woken in his arms. That sweet, blissful moment when she feared nothing and the future before her seemed bright and promising. It all came crashing in around her faster than she ever could have predicted.

Rey clutched the fabric tighter, feeling her eyes fill again at the bittersweet memories. And then, as quickly as the thought occurred to her, she was lifting the sweater up and over her head, letting it fall down around her, snuffing out the cold and sadness.

She released an audible sigh as the soft weight settled on her body. Somehow it also lifted what had been weighing heavily on her. All that loneliness faded, just a little. She could almost feel him again, feel that little crackle of energy when they’d connect through the Force. What she wouldn’t give to feel that prickle on the back of her neck at that very moment. And then she could almost feel his fingertips against that same spot, the way he’d supported her, even after he’d brought her back to life.

Crawling back into her cot, Rey laid down and snuggled into her pillow and blankets, feeling more at ease than she had in two weeks. She closed her eyes, somehow not minding the silence as much as she had before. There was a sort of peace in it, a clarity. She didn’t feel so alone anymore. Ben wasn’t really gone.

Rey’s eyes flew open again, wide and bright, darting back and forth as her thoughts flew in a hundred directions at once.

Of course…

Ben wasn’t really gone.

Rey hugged the sweater tighter against her body, her chin wobbling a little, but not in grief anymore. No, now it was replaced with determination. She knew what she had to do.

It was time to find Ben Solo.

[bellaveux]

oh hell yeah i have plot ideas written down😫 lemme share 'em, I LOVEEE YOUR WRITING

first off, fluffy but spicy. as in, LOVEY DOVEY!! :') after returning from a successful battle or mission or wtv, natasha is injured but hides the extent of her pain. as soon as reader hears of her return, they demand to see her. despite natty's protests, reader takes it upon themself to care for her. she reluctantly allows them to remove her armor piece by piece, feeling exposed in a way she never does on the battlefield :') lil bath scene with reader gently washing away the dirt and blood, while natasha just becomes softer, more vulnerable in their presence. as they tend to her injuries, the tension between them builds, and natasha, flustered by reader's touch, shyly confesses she has always wanted to be more than just their protector. ARRGGHHH MY HEART. reader reassures her by kissing her gently, promising her that she's more than worthy of their love.😫 potential smut unfolds gradually as reader undress her completely, kissing every scar, showing natty how much they cherish every part of her. it's tender yet filled with passion, with reader taking control as natty shyly lets herself be loved. reader explores her body slowly, whispering praises, and she melts under your touch, craving the comfort and care only you can give her. it ends with natasha completely undone, trembling in readers arms as they hold her close, whispering how proud they are of her bravery. :'''')

SECOND LIL IDEA (hell yeah, i'm on a roll), pure fluff ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ okay so there's a royal ball filled with formality and obligations, but reader and natasha escape to the palace gardens to find some peace. natty, still in her formal uniform, looks every bit the confident knight, but as soon as you step into the secluded part of the garden, her demeanor changes. she seems more relaxed, letting out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. reader gently pulls her toward them and suggest dancing, something neither of them had the chance to enjoy during the ball. natty hesitates, reminding you she’s not the most graceful off the battlefield, but reader doesn't care. they take her hand, leading her in a slow, playful dance under the stars.😫😫 kill me rn UNDER THE STARSSSS as they twirl together, natasha's usual confidence fades, replaced by a shy, almost bashful demeanor. she gazes at reader with a mix of admiration and affection, confessing that she has always loved them, even though she knows a knight isn’t supposed to fall for royalty. reader silences her doubts with a gentle kiss, assuring her that they've always loved her, too. the night is filled with soft smiles, whispered promises, and lingering touches as they continue to sway under the moonlight, wrapped in each other’s warmth.

MORE MORE MORE??? fuck yeah. angsty fluff SUPREMACY! reader's royal duties (or wtv really😫) requires them to entertain various suitors, none of whom come close to matching the connection they have with natty. they've always known that their love for her goes beyond friendship, but the kingdom’s expectations weigh heavily on the both of them :( during an event of some sort, where reader's forced to meet a nobleman eager to win their hand, they catch glimpses of Natasha, her jaw clenched as she stands by, unable to intervene. after the event, reader seeks her out, desperate to be near her. they find her in the training grounds, her sword swinging with ferocity as she takes out her frustration. (poor baby) reader calsl her name, and she stops mid-swing, her usual confidence faltering as she faces them. the tension between them is unbearable, and after a few very 👀👀 exchanged words, reader confessed their love for her, unable to pretend any longer. natasha is torn, knowing that as their knight, it’s her duty to protect them, not claim them for herself. but THEN ARGHHHH when reader kisses her, every doubt she has disappears. the kiss is filled with passion and urgency, as if it’s the last moment they'll ever share. (maybe????) natty melts in their arms, her vulnerability laid bare, but she still worries about the consequences. js imagine them promising to find a way to be together, despite the obstacles?? AAAAH

okay i genuinely have so much more ideas it's actually crazy. i think i have like?? 9?? ideas written down for knight!natty, so if you need more, JS SCREAM ILL BE ON MY WAY

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU I HAVE REREAD THIS LIKE A 100 TIMES THESE ARE PERFECT THANK YOU !!!!! I WILL START WRITING SO SOOOOON

and the angsty one hits :(( i love it so much

[scavengerssuccotash]

How do Clint and Natasha deal with nightmares?

Ohhh the nightmares! The kinds of nightmares that plague are duo pale in comparison to our own. It’s only natural that their fears would manifest in truly frightening ways.

This will not be a happy read unfortunately. :(

Clint’s nightmares before Loki were a walk in the park. Memories of his foster father and the abuse he dealt jolted him from sleep so many times over the years that he’s had to develop a way to catch sleep wherever he could. Cue the power naps. (Thanks Jeremy!) The aftermath of his Pre-Loki nightmares usually meant a change of sheets since he sweat through them and a quick shower. He always keeps a cup of water by his bed too, getting ripped out from his dreams makes him parched. Once him and Natasha started sleeping together his return back to reality was less of a cinder block to the face and more of a pat on the cheek. Literally. While it’s generally advised to not wake a highly trained assassin in the throes of a nightmare, Natasha’s able to dodge the haymaker and bring him back to the present with a firm and quick, “Clint!”

The after-Loki nightmares are Clint’s own personal hell. His imagination, supplemented no doubt by Loki’s promise to have him kill Natasha “slowly, intimately in every way he knows you fear”, is far too powerful for a slap to the cheek to overcome. They had to get creative as a necessity. Even though she wants to touch him when he cries out she can’t. Of the times she did she ended up on her back and Clint woke with his hands on her. Natasha’s usually able to slip out of his holds, but there’s something about the abject pain in his voice that decimates her and overwhelms her better nature. She has to let it play out, and watch on the other side of the room with her face in her hands until Clint fights out of it on his own. She knows he’s awake by the time he falls out of bed and sobs into his hands.

Eventually, through time, patience and a lot of observation they figure out the triggers that induce these nightmares. It’s usually after a particularly difficult mission, one where he makes a mistake or slips up or the ones where he can’t keep her in his line of sight. After those, and afraid that it can trigger a nightmare they prep him with calming teas, long cuddles sessions and even longer assurances that she’s safe (and more importantly safe with him). They switch the bedding together, all soft sheets and even softer pillows. Calming scented candles are lit and weapons are removed from their bed side drawers. Once he’s asleep Nat waits outside the bedroom for a good thirty minutes, if she doesn’t hear Clint thrashing around it’s safe to say that he won’t be having a nightmare that night. On the good days when he wakes without a nightmare they make very gentle very tender love in the morning hours. It’s painfully tender and breaks Clint’s heard every fucking time. (Yeah, Loki really fucked them up both. I wish this was happier but it’s just not. It’s sad and angsty and it makes me incredibly sad. But they still have each other and that somehow makes it easier to bare)

The aftermath of Natasha’s nightmares is scary at the least and downright terrifying at most. Clint’s woken up more than a few times with her hands around his throat. Clint’s forced to get physical, which he hates because unlike on the mats Nat doesn’t pull her punches when she’s in the throes of her nightmares. She goes for the kill and fights like hell. Gradually though much like what they’ve discovered with Clint’s they find the triggers. Strike Team Delta will only take the child trafficking missions if it’s a last resort, the aftermath just takes too much out of the both of them to be fully operational the day after. They tried the teas, they tried meditations but they aren’t that effective long term. Strangely enough white noise seems to help though they don’t know why. Nat alternates between rain and nature documentary. Natasha’s a crier after, completely soaking her pillow with snot and her eyes are puffy and swollen by the time she’s able to calm down. Before Clint she had no one to talk to so she just bottled it up and let it fester. Now though Clint will force her to talk it through and she’s grateful even if they are both dead tired the next morning. Clint’s always comforting too, all hushed warm tones and hair brushing with the occasional dropped kiss to her forehead. They don’t have sex after but he does shower with her in the morning and help braid her hair.

Sleep doesn’t come easily for either of them, but it gets better with time, patience and most importantly with understanding that their nightmares are just their brains working through the trauma. It will pass with due time and as long as they have one another at the end of it they’d gladly sacrifice their sleep schedule in the meantime.

(Hi, yeah that was sad! But hey don’t worry it gets better I promise, now here’s a tissue. Good. Now blow! Good! See all better!)

[mebiselfandi]

Title: Nights Like This

Summary: Neymar gets injured and Leo’s there to comfort him

Pairings: Neymar x Messi, Neymessi

Tags: hurt/comfort, kinda angsty

Quick authors note: Sorry if there’s any typos. English isn’t my first language and I haven’t written anything in half a year. I hope y’all like it though. It’s also my first fanfic ever so please don’t hesitate to comment what you think. Slightly ambiguous relationship so this can also be read as platonic or romantic. Also shout out to @kevjrr for inspiring me to write something 🫶🏾

The night air felt cool on his skin as he sunk down to the edge of the pool. A low hiss escaped his lips as he lowered his aching ankle gently into the water. It buzzed with pain that he felt reverberate through his body, catching his breath in his lungs. Slowly he began to relax as the water lulled the ache to faint whispers of rough tackles and even rougher recoveries.

Neymar had always tried not to give in too much thought to his injuries. Yes they were difficult to overcome but they were also frequent. This lead to him repeatedly pushing the thoughts and fears of never playing again aside to the back of his mind. Preferring rather to focus on getting better and playing as soon as possible. But it was nights like this. When the sun had gone down and the only observer was the watchful eye of the moon. When there were no prying eyes poking and prodding at the mask he so carefully crafted and maintained to fool himself into sanity. Nights like this where he finds himself in a more foreign than usual country that the doubts start to creep in. They come like thieves in the night under the guise of fleeting thoughts he lamely promises he won’t dwell on.

But he does. That’s all he does. The nagging feeling of guilt and shame for allowing himself to be injured again gnaws at the edges of his mind fueled by the slight hum of his swollen ankle. He hunches over as he tries to focus on something else. Anything else. His eyes sting with the heat of frustration as he remembers the events of the previous nights game. One of the opposing players running full speed towards him in his peripheral before sliding into full contact with his legs.

For a second everything seemed to slow down. The roar of the 80,000 screaming voices shoved its way into his ears as he felt the ground being knocked out from under him. The studs of the players boots ground into the already tender flesh of his skin. He had no chance to catch himself as his body slammed into the wet pitch head first and began sliding away from the force of the tackle. The rain made the grass extra slippery and he let out an inaudible scream as he felt every blade of grass carry his body along the pitch.

A tear fell from Neymar’s eye and he watched with disdain as it landed on his thigh right below where he’d pulled up his shorts and slowly trailed down his grass burnt skin and into the pool. He faintly recalled the red card being flashed. Then another as Sergio pushed the perpetrator violently to the ground. It all felt hazier and cloudier the more he thought about it. The pain being so overwhelming he could barely breathe but one thing was clear as day; Leo. His Leo. Soft browns stared into teary pools of swirling greens and pleading browns. Begging to be okay before Neymar could even register what had happened.

“Ney, are you okay? Just focus on me, okay?” Leo’s voice was softer than usual in his ears. Pushing the shouts of the crowd out and instead filling his head with thoughts of him. Leo, Leo, Leo. It would have been relaxing if not for the evident worry and urgency Neymar had become too accustomed and familiar with over the years. He ran his fingers through Neymar’s wet hair as his other hand made work of intertwining their fingers in a tight comforting grip. But for the first time it wasn’t enough. Something was wrong, he could tell. And the look in Leo’s eyes confirmed his suspicions.

Neymar tried to get up. There was still 30 minutes left and they were still drawn 2-2. He had to get up. His mind still crackled with the adrenaline of the game and the heat of the collision with the ground but his body groaned and refused to cooperate with his movements. He couldn’t feel anything but his body felt so alive for all the wrong reasons. Sensing his restlessness and growing panic Leo shushed him and placed the hand that he been running through Neymar’s hair to his chest pushing him back down. It felt heavy on his skin the warmth being the only thing keeping his thundering heart from escaping his body and staying on the pitch where it belonged.

He vaguely remembered the medics arriving after Kylian had shouted for them before being lifted onto the stretcher and being carried off the pitch. His hand tingled as it slipped out of Leos. It itched with the memory of Leo’s warm fingers rubbing small, slightly rough patterns into it before he blacked out.

Neymar wished he’d stop replaying the incident as he closed his eyes feeling another tear fall right next to where the other one did. He turned his face to the moon as his lip began to quiver with emotion. He could feel himself being dragged under the fullness of his emotions. He was tired of fighting them and he let himself be consumed. Consumed by the expectations, the guilt, the fear and every other feeling he tried to bury. All the feelings he so neatly folded and placed in the recesses of his mind came surging forwards. They spilled out in waves that cascaded freely down his cheeks and quiet whimpers only the moon held privy to. The weight of all the injuries he tried to convince himself he could overcome single-handedly sat of his heart weighing it down in his chest. And in that moment as his arms blindly prodded and rubbed at his bare chest he thought of Leo. He hadn’t seen him since his hand had slipped out of his grasp and Neymar found himself yearning for that hand to warm him up as he clawed angrily at his reddening, aching chest.

“Ney?” He heard faintly from inside his house. His heart soared and plummeted at the same time. No he must have been losing his mind in his state of delirium. But there it was again. “Ney?” Still soft but slightly louder. Neymar was happy that Leo was here truly but he couldn’t let him see him like this. He opened his eyes and splashed some of the pool water on his face as he heard the soft steps of Leo’s shoes. He bit back any sobs that threatened to rise and waited with baited breath as Leo finally emerged from the back door.

“Hey,” Leo sighed softly, a slight smile on his lips.

And maybe it was the look in his soft eyes or maybe the way the moonlight bounced of the skin of his face and arms making him appear more beautiful than usual but suddenly Neymar couldn’t take it anymore. Once again soft browns looked back into stormy eyes of pleading greens and swirling browns before a single choked sob escaped Neymar’s mouth. He looked away from Leo and closed his eyes as his arms came to wrap around himself. His body trembled and shook as fast feet sped to his side. Kneeling next to him, Leo gathered Neymar up in his arms. The heat from his body and his strong arms warmed Neymar’s shivering body. He was tense, still huddled in on himself refusing to face Leo or open his eyes.

“Why are you here?” He manages to croak out of his hoarse throat.

Leo stayed silent.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Neymar whispers.

“Why not?” Leo questions back in a matching whisper. He tries rubbing his bare torso in an attempt to warm him up but Neymar still stayed tense and on edge.

“I can’t let you see me like this,” he mumbles back barely audible against the sound of the slow chirping crickets, “so unhappy. I don’t want you to think I can’t handle a simple injury.” He adds hesitantly under a low breath. But it isn’t simple. Not this time. They both know it.

Leo’s heart ached. Seeing his Ney who shone brighter than the sun now sound so vulnerable and small in the pale glow of the moonlight made his chest feel lead lined and heavy. He looked at the shaking man in his arms and ran a hand down the column of his spine feeling each protruding ridge before running his hand back up the bruised skin of his ribs and resting his hand on his shoulder.

“Ney look at me,” he pleaded gently, just like he had on the pitch. Neymar turned to face him but his eyes remained closed. Leo pressed a kiss into his hair before speaking into it. “You feel this?” He asked as he gently peeled one of Neymar’s protective arms from his lithe frame before bringing the hand up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss to the tips of his fingers then placing the hand on his chest. Right above his heart. It thrummed steady and strong under the gentle weight of Neymar’s touch. “It beats just like yours. With every victory, every loss. Every happy moment and every tear shed. You share your joy so freely yet you guard your tears but you shouldn’t have to. You’re human, I don’t expect you to be happy all the time.” He paused momentarily as he covered Neymar’s hand with his own. “What that player did to you was inexcusable and you shouldn’t feel like you have to hold back your sorrow from me. You’ve been so strong all these years and I wouldn’t think any less of you for being unhappy after everything. So please don’t be scared of me. It’s just me. Just Leo.”

Neymar blinked open bleary eyes that seemed more brown than green and looked up into Leo’s eyes that gazed back full of love and understanding. He couldn’t help it even if he wanted to as he melted into Leo’s arms burying his face into his neck. He focused on his low whispers of “I got you” and his gentle ministrations on his skin and just Leo. Heavy sobs and even heavier tears escaped his eyes and glided over his cold nipped cheeks as he wrapped the arm that wasn’t on Leo’s chest around Leo’s waist. He cried all his guilt and anger out as he let Leo press him closer into his body and allowed his hand to be trapped between their two hearts.

Leo pressed soft kisses on his neck and face and held him tighter as his sobs quieted and his tears subsided. Leo’s knees began to ache in this kneeling position but it didn’t matter as he heard his Ney relax into occasional slow, shuddering breaths. He began to pull away to get a better look at him but stopped as he felt the hand over his heart grip tightly into the fabric of his shirt.

“Please…don’t go,” Neymar muttered doubtfully as he waited in fear for Leo to stand up and brush him off but instead he pulled him closer to his chest and shifted Neymar on top of him as he lay down next to the pool.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered soothingly into Neymar’s ear as he wrapped his hoodie around Neymar’s exposed half.

And as they lay there under the silver glow of the moonlight, they were just Leo and Ney. His Leo and his Ney; two hearts beating in tandem.

[roosterbox]

October Almost-Drabbles 10/11: Haunted

Pairing(s): Cherik (one-sided), Charles/Moira (implied)

Word Count: 686

Additional tags: modern AU, ghost!erik, cockblock!erik, jealous!erik, pining, angst, and they were roommates

Side note: finally something other than straight fluff, lmao. I swear I originally intended this to be slightly more comedic than angsty. But Erik said “No, I must pine,” and who am I to deny him? Also, the Cherik might not be completely one-sided, but Charles is a bit too angry and frustrated to deal with any other feelings, in this little fic at least.

———

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Charles, soaked through to the bone, glared at the apparition sitting at his table. The being didn’t look at him. Rather, they kept their focus on the kitchen sink currently gushing water out into the apartment floor. Gradually, the flow stopped.

“She wasn’t right for you,” Erik said. His ghostly voice was aloof, as if he couldn’t care less about Moira’s ruined outfit, or the money Charles would likely have to spend on repairs. He still wouldn’t meet Charles’ gaze, however.

“And you feel as if you have a say in the matter because…?”

The spirit didn’t answer. Charles wasn’t surprised. Just this once, he thought that bringing a date home might have gone alright. That they could have a nice meal, a fun evening, maybe even a nice second romp in the morning, before parting ways.

He should have known better.

“Look, Erik,” Charles let out a sigh, sitting down across from the figure that had once been a living man. He did his best to ignore the wet squelch of his pants and boxers as he sat. His next stop should definitely be his bedroom though, preferably before he started to chafe. “I already promised that I wouldn’t have you exorcised, or force you out. I said it, I meant it, and I don’t go back on my word. But-” the other man finally looked at him, and Charles again found himself wondering what color his eyes had been, when he was alive. “-but we’re roommates, essentially. Nothing more. I’ve got a life that needs living.” At Erik’s scowl, he added a quick, “no offense intended, of course.”

“She wasn’t right for you,” Erik repeated, a bit softer this time. Charles rolled his eyes. He’d begun shivering slightly, the cold Autumn air bleeding through the thin walls of his (their) apartment. He made a mental note to text Moira and make sure that she, similarly soaked as he, was safe and warm at home. For now, though, he rose up.

“I’m going to bed,” he said, voice flat. “Just as soon as I grab a few towels to…” he trailed off, watching the water recede, pool together, and evaporate in record time. Even the broken sink seemed to repair itself before his eyes. In any other circumstance, this would have been a shocking thing to witness. But after a year of living with a being such as Erik, almost nothing surprised him these days.

“Your clothes,” the ghost said, more apologetic than Charles expected.

“Never mind them. I’ll throw them in the wash.” He waved his hand dismissively, considering their conversation finished. “Good night, Erik.” An ironic sentiment, considering his evening after coming home had been anything but. He retreated to his bedroom, wet socks leaving a trail of footprints behind him, before closing the door, hard, behind him. A full stop on the end of an unspoken sentence. After a moment, the footprints evaporated too.

“Good night, Charles,” Erik said to the empty apartment kitchen. Now, alone again, it was his turn to sigh. To tuck his head into ghostly hands and wish, not for the first time nor the last, that the space in his chest where a heart may have resided didn’t clench so painfully any time he thought of himself without Charles. It wasn’t fair. He knew that. But at the same time…

He stood, in as much as an incorporeal being can, and made his way over to the closed door. Charles was showering. He could always tell where Charles was in this place, though he made sure never to peep or spy. And even now, while he could easily phase right through the wooden door, he only pressed a hand against it. Feeling the warm spirit radiating from the other man inside.

“Good night, Charles,” he said again, whispering as if he thought the other man might have heard him through the bedroom door and the en-suite. Other words burned in his stomach, but he knew there was really nothing more to say. Nothing that Charles would want to hear, at least.

[phantomdecibel]

Calling my boy Shrodinger the way he’s dead and alive at the same time.

Okay SO. Obviously, he starts out as a soldier puppet, and he just does the regular things. Shoots the enemies, and mends the allies when possible. Marching ever through the black orders fly retreat attack and all that.

And then one day, he has a thought. Or, I suppose at this point in time, it. It’s not anything big or monumental, just an empty void suddenly having the impulse to eat berries. It doesn’t need to. It shouldn’t want to.

It eats the berries. It LIKES eating the berries. It doesn’t share its knowledge, and it doesn’t care to, but it now is conscious enough to know that it likes eating the berries. It’s conscious enough to make the decision to.

It’s the first of many moments of ideas in its head. Suddenly, it may feel fear. Just the vague knowledge that, when hit by an enemy, it will never get up, and never eat berries again, is enough to be scared. It has no greater concept of death than that but it doesn’t need to.

So, it starts to avoid the war grounds, try to run away from them, and it starts wandering around. It’s treated poorly sometimes, seen as a bad omen. Sometimes people find it creepy for its lack of emotion. It doesn’t really care. On the rare occasion, someone will think to feed it.

And so, it goes on like this. At some point in time, they become sentient enough to realize what had happened. To realize why people treat it in the way they do. To realize why they acted in a way that now, with knowledge of death and compassion, seems so alien to them.

And it. Knows. Rage.

This is kind of like their angsty teen phase. They’re angry, they start using pronouns that are made for people. Really she just starts rebelling in every way she can. She wears the strings that used to bind her around her neck like a promise to one day find whoever was responsible and slit their neck.

The problem is, he doesn’t actually know who is responsible for what happened. They’re intelligent, capable of complex thoughts, but they’re still rather… detached, still a bit hazy in what they’re capable of thinking about.

So, with no outlet to the rage they feel, they just start pointing it at whoever. They want others to know helplessness and violence like that which they’ve seen, suffer as they have. They want others to know what it was like on a battle field where you are nothing, and your allies are nothing, and all you know is death.

And so it goes on like this. He does a lot of really horrible stuff. Catches the attention of one god or other, it doesn’t really matter, and helps further their power. She doesn’t care, just wants to see people suffer at the hands of a creature more powerful than them.

And then, they come across a child. It is not a novel sight. But it is. They’ve gained a lot of sentience, and before they couldn’t understand why anyone took care of these.. things. They were just smaller adults.

She could relate to them, relate to being treated as less than, relate to struggling to understand the world around them, but he couldn’t understand what made others protective of them.

And yet this time around, it clicks. Some semblance of humanity, some millennia old instinct to keep it safe.

And it’s the first step of many to reconsidering their little war path. First step of many to severing their connection with their god. First step of many to overcoming their grief.

First step into experiencing an actual connection.

After that, it’s mostly cut and dry. Learning to be less violent, learning to try and be better instead of making others worse, and trying to escape their soldier-esque mindset of enemies being everywhere.

It’s why they start wearing pink and purple, the opposite of the camouflage green and godlike yellow.

Honestly, I’ve not really thunk it through though, and I’ll probably end up changing a lot since currently it’s a lot… edgier than intended.? In execution, I’ll probably make it a bit softer and more melancholy since that’s usually how I prefer my characters.

AFGDJGHDMBBKUGJGJKFIJKYRETRYGIJOUTTDHCUFTETUFIGTSFHJBUGDTYFHJFYUVIBUGYFIHOHVUTDERRWFYUGCHJVJGGFHVH OH HELL YEAH THATS FUCKING GREAT love them <3–

Really love the way she starts gaining consciousness? Its something so small! He just… found some berries and ate them and oh no now where are we–

Tell him that half of what created him is dead at least 🥺

…..also.

I am. listening to gp v tmk rn lmfao–

[eternal-silvertongued-prince]

Snape x reader one shot idea. Where they're having an argument and snape goes to far, then tries to make it up to reader. Super angsty and fluff 🤷‍♀️

Title: Words Cut Deep

Pairing: Professor!Snape x Professor!Reader (GN)

Genre: Angst with fluffy ending

Rating: T (see warnings)

Warnings: language, use of offensive/vulgar names, cursing, angst

Word Count: 4.5k+

A/N: My life and coursework are finally settling down where I can get through my requests. I promise I am not ignoring any of them that were sent in! This is the first-ever fic I am posting publicly, so I hope you enjoy it. English is my second language, so I apologise for any possible grammatical mistakes or errors. Feel free to suggest any possible edits or ways I can improve my writing as my background is in writing research papers, so storytelling is a lot more difficult for me. I already caught myself writing characters and movements like a calculated paper rather than a story with emotion, so I am working to improve that. Regardless of all that, I hope you enjoy :) (I made some changes to make the reader GN, let me know if I missed any please!)

P.S. I know you were probably looking for yelling but I wrote this kinda how me and my bf fight. I was always more a "silence is deadly" kind of fighter lol

It was just one of those days you kept telling yourself.

Dating Severus was not a walk in the park and you knew that when you first got into this relationship. Heck, he had even warned you that things were going to be difficult more times than not. However, none of that persuaded you otherwise. You had seen the softer sides of him. The man who laid beneath the sneers and blanket of sarcasm. You knew he had it in him to be kind and warm, but today he was really trying to test that theory.

The day had started off normal enough. You had awoken in Sev’s chambers curled up under the silk sheets that draped over the two of you. As you laid in his arms you turned to look at your watch on the nightstand to realise the alarm that was set last night never rung and were now running late for breakfast. You shook him awake and informed him of the time which then catapulted him out of bed to quickly change. Muttering curses here and there as you both readied to leave, he did not even bother to say a “good morning” to you. Granted you understood that both of you were pressed for time, so you let it slide.

When you both arrived at the main hall the only two seats left were apart from one another. You looked at Severus as he sneered at his options. Before you could speak up he stepped forward and claimed the seat between Minerva and Poppy leaving you to sit between Remus and Filius. You frowned as you took your seat not bothering to hide your dismay from your co-workers. He had dismissed you again! With not even a look your way. Had you done something to upset him? You wondered as you plated some cut-up fruit into a bowl and poured yourself a cuppa tea to hopefully calm your running mind.

“Are you alright Y/N?”

You turned your head to your left to see Filius speak between bites of his toast.

“Yes, I am. Why do you ask?”

“You seem rather down there, love.” Your head whips to your right to see Remus looking at you with worry written across his face.

“Is it that obvious?”

They both nodded their heads and you sighed. Crossing your arms, you drop your head down onto the table. You heard a shuffle coming from your left and assumed Filius resumed eating to try and give you some privacy. Remus on the other hand decided to lay a comforting hand on your shoulder. You turned your head to look at him exposing the tears that were threatening to spill. The concern he felt before grew as he took in your expression. “Would you like to go somewhere to talk?”

You nodded not trusting yourself to speak without your voice cracking. He stood up from his seat and you followed. “Is my office okay? I have a class at 9.” You nodded again and let Remus guide you out of the hall with his hand on the small of your back. You could always count on Remus. He was a great friend to you and you enjoyed your time together whenever you guys did get a chance to hang out. Now, you were just very thankful to have a friend to talk about how you felt and to get a second person’s opinion of the situation. As you left, you were too busy looking up to hold your tears at bay that you did not look towards the other end of the table where your boyfriend sat watching the scene unfold in front of him. If you had, you might have seen the way his jaw was clenched as he held his fork so tightly his knuckles turned white.

As you stepped through the door of Remus’ office, you finally let some tears fall. Remus ushered you to the armchair in front of his desk and went to put on a kettle. As he waited for the water to boil he leaned against his desk and extended his hand out. In his palm held a familiar foil-wrapped treat. “Eat this. You’ll feel better.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that broke through as you took the piece of chocolate from his hand. “Is chocolate always your solution to things?”

He let out a laugh and moved to prepare your tea just how you like it. “You cannot deny that it works in solving most problems.”

At the mention of problems, the frown surfaced onto your face again as you remembered the whole reason you were here in the first place.

“Do you know if I did anything to bother or anger Sev?”

Remus looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “No, I don’t know of anything. If you have, he certainly would not confide in me. But I am sure you haven’t. Did he say something to you?”

“No, he hasn’t,” you sighed, “but that’s part of the problem. Ever since we have woken up he has ignored me. He has not spoken a singular word to me all morning and seems more irked than normal.”

“Then a student or something else has him in a bad mood. I am sure by the end of the day he’ll be just the normal amount of annoyed”, Remus joked.

That got another smile out of you. You thanked him for the tea and his time before leaving his office, so he could prepare for his class while you returned to yours to get some grading in before you had to teach in the afternoon.

Remus was wrong. Severus was even more furious with the world it seemed. All day you heard students in the halls whisper and gossip about how ‘Professor Snape’ was more unfair and irritated than normal. You chewed on your lower lip as your last class of the day was dismissed. Clearing up the papers on your desk before locking your classroom, you made your way to the great hall for supper. Praying that the students were just being overdramatic about your boyfriend, you stepped through the door only to be greeted by the sight of everyone but the man you were thinking of. You took a seat next to Minerva thinking that Sev was just running a little behind, but as the food was served and everyone began to dig in, you knew that he was not going to show.

“Minerva, do you know where Severus is?”

“Afraid not dear. I was about to ask you the same question.”

You sighed and propped your head against your fist.

“Is everything alright? He was rather testy this morning”, Minerva asked as she refilled her goblet.

“I honestly don’t know. He seemed rather grumpy since we’ve awoken but he has not spoken one word to me and I am starting to get concerned.”

“He was complaining the other day of students being an extra handful with exams coming up. Maybe that is what has him in a fouler mood than normal?”

I pondered her response. It was a reasonable conclusion and one that made the most sense. Severus hated exam time the most. “That could be it then. I suppose I should bring him supper, or he’ll be even more cranky with an empty stomach.”

Minerva chuckled her agreement. You quickly finished your plate before grabbing a few things you know he would like and wrapping them up. You bid Minerva and the other professors a good night before making the trek to the dungeons. When you reach his classroom, you bring your knuckles to the door and rap them against the wood. You wait to hear his “come in” before pushing it open.

Severus makes no move to look at who dared intrude on his time. “What do you want?”, he snapped.

Okay, so he was still angry.

“I thought I’d bring you something to eat so you don’t properly starve.”

Walking up to him, I try to make eye contact as I place the food in front of him. Not even batting an eye at me, he continues to mark papers. I look at him incredulously, the only sound being the scratch of the pen’s nib against the parchment.

“Talk to me Sev. I know that something is wrong, and I can’t help if you don’t talk to me. I’ve missed you all day.”

He slams his quill down onto his desk hard enough causing you to jump at the sound. Your spine stiffened as he stood with such ferocity that his chair almost toppled over.

He finally turns to look me in the eye. “Shouldn’t you be off somewhere with Lupin instead of bothering me?”

Your mouth opened to speak but no words could come out. You were stunned into silence. Taking your silence as an omission of guilt from being caught, he leaned in closer, his height making you shrink into yourself.

“Tell me Y/N, do you pride yourself in being able to fool me into thinking you actually cared for me? That our relationship was nothing more than a clever ploy to trick me and break my heart?”

His words felt like venom as they passed through his clenched teeth. Your tongue finally became unstuck from the roof of your mouth, but the lump in your throat still obscured your voice as your sentence came out mangled and meek sounding. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” He scoffs his disbelief but decides to humour you and play along. “I don’t give you attention for a few hours, so you immediately seek it from the first man that is willing to give you the time of day like a whore.”

By the time he is done talking the bay of tears have finally broken. The tears don’t stop as you try to hold back the sobs. You feel as if your heart was physically broken. The air inside your lungs seizes to exist and you feel as if you were choking with every breath. Looking at your face, Severus' eyes softened a touch, but his resolve was ever-present. His mouth still in a sneer moved to say something else, but before he could, you cut him off. Your words came out hurried and jumbled, gasping with each inhale as you cried, but what you were saying was clear as day.

“I was asking R-Remus if I had done something to…to make you mad at me! He was comforting me after… after I-I was clearly upset having been ignored the whole damn morning!”

His sneer fell away and was replaced with a frown. The furrow between his eyebrows softened and he moved to take a step closer to you, which you only responded with a step away.

Immediately feeling remorse for the words he just spat at you, he contemplated for a moment before opening his mouth this time. “I am sorry Y/N.”

Through broken sobs, “I have told you countless times that I hold no romantic feelings for Remus and that he is only a friend. I have told you time and time again that you are the only one I want to be with. I have done everything, absolutely everything, to make you believe that you are it for me, but apparently that isn’t enough, and I can’t do this anymore. I can see myself spending a lifetime with you Severus, but I do not deserve any of what happened today or any of the other times your temper has gotten the better of you. I’ve forgiven you time and time again, but this time was the straw that broke the camel’s back.” By the end of your speech your breathing had calmed significantly, and your words came out with better ease, but the tears did not cease, “Words cut deep Severus. And this time, they cut a little too deep. A simple sorry just isn’t going to be enough anymore.” With that, you ran out of the room wanting to get as far away from the man as possible.

You needed to go somewhere, anywhere, that didn’t feel suffocating. That’s how you found yourself by the Black Lake with only the rays of the moon to accompany you.

The fresh air surrounding helped soothe your breathing and calm you, but your mind and heart were still in turmoil. You sat quietly thinking about the severity of what you said. You had done nothing wrong and did not regret your words at all. Still, it did not mean that you felt for the man any less. You do not blame the man for the insecurities that he holds, however, you certainly did not deserve a man to belittle you for trying to talk it through.

The darkness that first cloaked the sky began to slowly dissipate as the sun began to rise on the horizon. It was only then that you realised how long you must have been sitting out here. You contemplated getting up and taking a much-needed warm bath before your classes began but before you could make your decision and move, Remus came into your line of sight. “How did you know where I was?”

“Severus came to me and asked me to check up on you.” Remus took a seat on the patch of grass beside you that began to collect morning dew. He paused for a second to see if you had anything to say, but when you kept quiet, he continued. “He’s worried about you Y/N.”

At the mention of your boyfriend’s (ex-boyfriend’s?) name you felt the pressure behind your eyes again, so you blinked your eyes a few times and turned to look out into the distance. You were done crying.

“Did he tell you what happened?” The sun’s hues began to cast a warm light over you replacing the cold chill of the night with a soft heat.

He shook his head, “No. He did tell me that he has royally messed up though and it was entirely his fault. I would have disagreed with him, but after knowing him all these years I am inclined to agree.” You felt the fabric of his cardigan over you as he draped it over your shoulders. You gave him a small thank you before slipping your arms through the sleeves to better wear it. Giving his best Minerva impression, “So, what did the babbling bumbling baboon do?”

For the first time that night, you let out a genuine laugh. Remus smiled in return, but it was soon replaced with a grimace. “Please don’t tell her I impersonated her. She may no longer be my head of house, but I am still deathly terrified of that woman.” Your laugh settled into a soft grin, “It’ll be our secret. Mainly because, as much as I love her, she terrifies me just as considerably.”

The two of you settled into a peaceful silence again as you considered how much you wanted to tell your friend.

“Apparently he thought you and I were having relations behind his back… again. This time he decided to call me some choice words that I need no repeating, but it had hurt me deeply. When I had explained that I was upset thinking I had angered him, and you were just comforting me, he tried to apologise, but the damage was already done by then.”

Remus paused briefly to digest what you had just said. “May I give you my honest opinion?”

“Of course you can Remus. You know I appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what Severus said to you, but a few names come to mind, none of which are pleasant. You deserve nothing but admiration. I support how you carried yourself and walked away from the situation. You had every right to be angry and should accept nothing less than him begging for mercy.” He thought about his next words carefully, “However, I can’t help to put myself in his shoes and see how he might have felt. Don’t get me wrong, it does not excuse all the atrocious things he said and did, but if I were him I wouldn’t be happy either seeing one of my childhood bullies become so close to the woman I feel strongly for.”

He picked at the grass by his legs before releasing a sigh. “My friends were not the nicest to Severus and I certainly did not help by just standing there and doing nothing. I’m not saying you should forgive him easily, but I think you should hear him out.”

“I’m going to give him a chance to at least explain himself. I’m just hurt right now and need a little space.”

Pushing himself up to stand, he brushed off the stray blades of grass and dirt before outstretching his hand to you, “You take as much time as you need. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m famished.”

You grab onto his hand and let him hoist you onto your feet, “When are you not?”

“Touché”

It has been two days since your fight with Severus. You’ve tried your hardest to avoid bumping into him, which in honesty, wasn’t that hard since your classroom was closer to the Ravenclaw towers. You’ve even gone through the lengths of taking your meals in your office to avoid seeing him in the great hall. The past two nights were awfully lonely without having his arms wrapped around you as you slept. Remus had also informed you that Severus was asking him about how you were doing. Your heart was aching to see him again, but your mind was determined to make the man suffer just a little longer.

As you finished dinner, you thanked the elf that took your dirty dishes away while you tidied your desk to leave. You extinguished the candles and made the way back to your chambers for another lonely night. On the walk to your quarters, you made the decision to try and find Severus tomorrow to see if he was ready to talk, but your thoughts were cut short as you rounded the corner. In front of your door, sitting on the floor of the darkened passageway, was the man in question. He had his head tucked in between his knees and you were filled with concern as normally he was hyperaware of the slightest sound and movement.

“Severus.”

His head shot up immediately at your voice and the first thing you noticed was the dark circles that plagued his face. The eyes that you loved getting lost in appeared dim and the creases from the frown set in his skin seemed more prominent than they have been in a while. He scrambled to stand as you stopped just short of him.

“I am sorry for just showing up here at your door. I know I should give you more space, but I have been beside myself having you think that those words I horribly spewed to you were what I perceive you to be when they are the furthest from the truth.” As you stared at him while he talked, tears were growing along his waterline. You tried your best to keep your emotions in check. You had missed him dearly, but you were determined to not give in as easily as you had in the past.

“Sev– “

He cuts you off, “Please let me finish before you speak, I beg of you.” Biting the inside of your cheek, you give him a small nod.

“Not seeing you these past few days has been awful. Not being able to talk to you, ask you about your day, or have you close to me is something I wish to never experience again. I have not gotten a wink of sleep without you in my arms but whatever I feel must be a hundred times worse for you because I, the person that is supposed to care and cherish you, made you feel like you were nothing to me. I am so in the wrong darling because, the truth is, you are absolutely everything to me and should never have said otherwise. Since the day I meet you, you have bewitched me –body, mind, and soul.”

He spoke with such fervour as his hands fidgeted with the seam of his cloak. You didn’t dare to interrupt him as he said his piece.

“I am so fucking sorry for what I have said and done, my love. I know that means nothing to you now, but I cannot find any other words to express how much I profoundly and truly wish I could take back everything that happened that day. I cannot but I am owning up to it. It was wrong of me to ignore you all day just because I had woken up grumpy and so wrong of me to call you those names. I projected my own insecurities and fears onto you and while they are things that will not go away soon, you have done your best to help calm those thoughts down. I need to work more on channelling those feelings myself as I cannot solely rely on you to calm my inner demons.”

Severus dropped the cloak from his fingertips to hesitantly grab your hands, “I know that doesn’t excuse the things I have said and done but I utterly regret everything. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I hope for another chance to make this right to you. I am unworthy of your affection, but I am selfish enough to beg you to allow me another chance to show you how remorseful I feel. I have let my anger get the better of me in the past and I cannot lie and say that it won’t come up again in the future. But I can promise you that I will never treat you how I did that night. You had every right to walk away and you have every right to never want to see me again, but I want— need you to understand how serious I am about fixing myself to be the better man you deserve. Ever since we’ve gotten together we have not gone a singular day without at least hearing from one another. So, when I did not see you at all since that dreadful night, my heart ached longingly to be with you again.”

He paused, and you figured he was done, but at this moment Severus was trying to gauge how you were feeling. You displayed no emotions and that might have hurt him more than anything. You stayed quiet giving him another minute to say something else all the while he was wishing that you’d yell at him. Scream profanities, call him names, anything.

An overbearing weight sat on top of him suddenly. It felt as if his legs could no longer hold him up, so he dropped to his knees, still grasping onto your hands as if they were the last vestiges of you he had left. Head bowed, his ebony locks fell in front of his face but not before you caught a glimpse of the river of tears running down his pale skin.

“I know I’ve probably lost you and the blame is all on me for that. But before you shun me from your life forever, I want to take what is probably the last opportunity to tell you how much you have already changed me for the better. With you, I am a better man, someone I am proud to be. You have shown me what it is like to be cared for and be of someone’s importance. I am grateful for the chance you took on me and I am sorry I disappointed you. The woman who means the world to me. The women whom I love dearly– “

The hands which laid limp in his hands quickly tensed and reciprocated the touch at the unexpected words.

“You love me?” The words left your mouth cutting him off before you could even think about what you were saying. Severus’ head shot up at your question. Mirroring his pose and dropping on your knees as well, you repeated yourself a little more loudly this time. His hands tightened around yours again and a face you can deem as determined fell upon his.

“Of course I love you Y/N. I find it impossible to not love you.” His hands wrap around your wrists allowing his thumbs to be able to run along the inside of your palm. “I am incredibly saddened by the fact that you are so shocked by the prospect but not surprised considering I never made well of telling you, did I? My fears and insecurities have run my life for so long that it’s hard to not let them take over, but Merlin, I have never felt so strongly for anyone before.” He knew that he was rambling since he’d opened his mouth this evening and that much of it came out as a mix of unrefined thoughts. But he didn’t want to hold anything back anymore. If the past couple of days had taught him anything, it was that he was willing to risk it all for you. Vulnerable be damned if it granted him the miracle of one more chance.

“I will work on these insecurities because they can’t be the reason I lose you. I don’t ever want to lose you. Y/N, darling, you are my forever. I see myself loving no one else but you. I love you too deeply, so whole-heartedly, that no one could ever come close to the affection I have for you. You are simultaneously my greatest weakness and strength. You– “

“Shut up.”

The two words silenced him efficiently. His lips were pressed into a tight curved frown. Thinking the worst, that you didn’t care for his apology nor his declarations of love, he goes to drop his hands away from you. However, just as swiftly as he pulled away, you return the action by grabbing onto his forearms. Confusion and hope coursed through him as he took in your teary-eyed smile.

“Say it again Severus.”

His lips quivered, and a chuckled sob left his lips before he repeated–

“I love you Y/N.”

“Again.” This time he matched your, now, wide mouth smile.

“I love you most fervently.”

“One more time please.” He brought your hands to his mouth and placed a kiss across the surface of your knuckles. As to convey the phrase’s full significance, he brought your hands to lay flat on the area of his chest where his heartbeat was strong and steady.

“I love y– “

The words were left unfinished as you had decided to close the distance between the two of you. No longer able to hold back, you pressed your lips against his for a deep kiss which he graciously returned. His arms snaked around your back pulling you in closer fearing that if he were to let go, you’d disappear. Deepening the kiss, you tried to make up for all the lost ones from the hours you were separated from one another. He sighed his content before the two of you had to finally break apart for air.

Shifting your hands from his chest to cup his face, you placed another kiss upon his lips before speaking. “This doesn’t mean that I am letting everything you did go so easily. You have to promise me that you will work on everything you said tonight, okay? You don’t have to go through it alone as I’ll always be here to help you, but I need to be assured that if I am giving us another chance that you will truly try. I know it won’t change overnight and there will be many other nights where we fight, but I swear to you that if you try, then my love– our love– will get us through anything.”

“I’ll make the unbreakable vow in a heartbeat if you need me to my love. From this moment forward, I will be the man you deserve. A man who loves you with every fibre of my being that not only thinks it but also shows it. You have my word.”

“Okay then,” you loop your arms around his neck and pull him down to gaze into his midnight irises, “tell me again then sweetheart.” The grin tugging on your lips is infectious as he settles his hands on your waist.

“I love you. Without end Y/N.”

“I love you too, Severus.” Leaning in until your mouths are only separated by a breath, you whisper one final word before sealing it with a kiss.

“Forever.”