#it's also been a pretty bad few days
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I think I'm having burnout with making SFM posters. idk, I just want to quit everything
#shut up mozzie#i feel like i'm not wanted here and I just annoy people by existing or posting#it's probably my brain being an arsewipe and me needing help#anyway I'm really sorry for not making SFM posters often it's just... so hard now#and I get so discouraged so easily#maybe I'm doing something wrong that I'm too autistic to automatically know#it's also been a pretty bad few days
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Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday ✍️
Tagged by @wikiangela 😘
Haven’t had the brain capacity to get much writing done since Friday, but I did manage to tippity type a little something something for LA Lonely 🏙️ . So have some of Buck’s inner self deprecating thoughts.
Prev snippet here
As the weekend rolls into Monday, Buck tries not to think about Eddie but somehow the guy has burrowed under his skin, an itch that Buck can’t scratch. He finds himself doing a double take at every fit, 6 foot brunette man that he encounters while on a call, both disappointed and relieved that they aren’t who he’s hoping for.
Not that he’s hoping to run into Eddie again. The guy didn’t leave his number or take Buck’s, and Buck’s been playing this game for so long he knows what that means. Because Buck is only good for one night, maybe a weekend if he’s lucky. No one wants to take a chance on him.
He’s used to it, so he doesn’t understand why he can’t get Eddie out of his head. The sex was good - incredible actually - and Eddie was hot. And kind. And his smile could light up an entire room. And Buck really needed to get a grip.
Eddie had his fun and then he left. Just like everyone else.
No pressure tagging: @diazsdimples @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @lover-of-mine @wikiangela @wildlife4life @athenagranted @watchyourbuck @devirnis @dangerpronebuddie @goforkinard @bigfootsmom @bidisasterbuckdiaz @exhuastedpigeon @elvensorceress @evankinard @eddiebabygirldiaz @rainbow-nerdss @thewolvesof1998 @try-set-me-on-fire @theotherbuckley @tizniz @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @shortsighted-owl @sibylsleaves @donationwayne @fortheloveofbuddie @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @homerforsure @hoodie-buck @jesuisici33 @king-buckley @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @captain-hen @bekkachaos @neverevan @nmcggg @missmagooglie @mellaithwen @monsterrae1 @spagheddiediaz @sunshinediaz and as always, anyone who wants to join in and share something -> consider this your official tag.
Also sorry if I forgot anyone .. there��s been a few url changes and it’s gotten a bit confusing 🫤
#daffi writes#wip: la lonely#I wanna finish the last chapter of rivals soooo bad but the smutty beans have taken a break to recharge#doesn’t help that I’ve also been feeling pretty shitty overall these past few days#(I’m okay - just period hormones and a stupid cold)#anyway .. I’m enjoying this little fic#it’s almost at 5K and I still have so much I wanna cram in haha#can’t seem to just write this happened then this .. no I gotta dive into the details and stretch things out#*long suffering sigh*#😅#buddie wip#buddie#also if anyone is concerned: no Eddie did not just have his fun and leave#he is very much enamoured by Buck#allllll will be revealed in the end
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls ����)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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may the universe grant me the time and brainpower to work on at least one these wips this next week augh
i need to draw my fucking fellas.......please
#for the record i HAVE been drawing grimm n yarrow but i haven't really had the time to Sit Down And Draw them the past two weeks#so it's been mostly doodles or thumbnails#the next few days are also busy so. lays on the floor#there are images of my ocs i need to SEE. and only I CAN MAKE THEM#BUT we've got a few-days break from taking care of the dog and my mind. is at peace for now#tbh i think she's been causing a lot of bg stress for me despite being pretty well-behaved#it's like. gotta make sure the doors are closed so she doesn't get in our rooms to eat trash when we're not looking#gotta watch out for her being fucking underfoot all the time. gotta walk her and when i do that i gotta make sure she doesn't#EAT THINGS OFF THE GROUND or get in fights with other dogs bc she doesn't get along with them. and she smells. like not#godawful but it's not good. and i'm sure all of this would be more bearable if i found her endearing in some way#but i cannot manage to convince myself she's cute. i am sorry little white dog enjoyers i cannot do this#i need that mental bandwidth for writing! not this thing in my house that doesn't stop staring at me with beady little eyes !#getting things off my chest apparently. hi.#also i've been. Real bad at talking to ppl lately i keep putting off responding to everything. hell on earth#wip
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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guess what I've been fixating on
#animal crossing#animal crossing new horizons#acnh#tom nook#smth smth#yeah ive just been playing acnh again. sorry#i just unlocked terraforming this morning (as of when im creating the post on monday not when its posted on thursday)#so hopefully by the time this is posted ill have gotten some rly nice street patterns made up#i found some pretty good ones but the way they were set up was like. not exactly what i need? so im trying to like#rip them off ig??? is that bad? idk. im gonna put my own spin on em ig#im just not super good at making convincing like...sidewalks w depth to them and such#anyway hopefully this time around i can really get my island looking as baller as i want#the reason i restarted was bc id fucked my island up so thoroughly that i wasnt even sure what to do w it anymore#or where to start w it#also my plaza was SUPER close to the airport.#so i chose a different layout this time where the plaza is like in the middle right area of it#more room for an entrance and such#i even have made up a Future Map including new landscaping and zones#so ill get to that over the next few days since i have time off work#also! this is the first entry ive made using my new smth smth tools#namely the automatic halftone-ify-er and a custom hand-drawn font#it took a bit less time to make this one since i didnt have to 1. hand write the dialogue and 2. think about the specific halftone colors#im still sticking to a limited palette (specifically 256 web safe colors) just cuz#but yeah. if you have actually read all of this and you have thoughts on the look of this one vs the previous ones lmk 🩵 thanks#also have a good day and drink some water :)
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Mayta Knight day 22 - Plushie
personally i have a hard time imagining kirby as oblivious and emotionally unaware. at least when it comes to those he’s closest with. mk hates it because he’s usually right. :’)
bonus:
#text in notes !!#ironically part of why this took so long to post is because ive been working on my own plush lately#some serious pen art moments here but for being unscripted i like it enough#we’re almost to the end so i feel motivated to post the rest quickly but#going to be distracted with ll stuff for the next few days (mostly anyway)#gonna post smth im excited about hehe#mayta knight#kirbyposting#kirby#meta knight#metadad#sailor waddle dee#pretty sure this is also what made me decide i had to find a real way to draw mk’s mask#cuz yikes#my art or something#“’it looks so bad why are you posting this in june ur so weird’ to the worm in my brain: shut up!!!#ok that’s all
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WIP sneak peek for next part of fairy boys below the cut
you get no context :)
#you have no idea how hard it was to find a panel without a million spoilers#idk i'm tired and i want to share this part so bad#but alas college has been taking up all my time#so i have it lined and base colored with no time or energy to do shading and lighting#it's also five pages instead of four with a lot of serious complicated panels so it's just taking longer to do#finals week is coming up and i have like 3 big final projects due within a few days of each other#once i get those done i'll be able to finish it pretty quickly#but by then totk will be out and it'll get buried if i post it#so rip me i guess#anyways back to the void i go#g3 does an art#g3 does a talk
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Yaay new fursona design + finally a nice looking ref sheet for them :D Had a lot of fun reworking the colors and making their markings read a bit better for a clouded leopard :3
#definitely helped that i have found good refs for cloudies bellies since the last design lol. they have such pretty belly spots augh#the swoopy bit comes from one specific pic i saw with the cutest connected spots on its belly it was sooo good#very glad the star-shaped clouds on the shoulders still fit in nicely too i was worried id have to scrap those. i even got more star clouds#on the thighs yaaay i love the star motif for her <33 also i didnt put the example necklace/choker/kandi colors on there cause they were#kinda just thrown on to show like. what you can do w the space. theyre not really important lol#theres definitely a few things i shouldve noted on or added doodles for but ive been working on this for a full day i needed to just finish#zoracontent#zora arts#clovers characters#fursona#sfw furry#zora kaseko#<- last name never ever gets used cause its old and bad but im too lazy to change the character tag
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how I announce a positive COVID test to my household:
#red said#HEY FRIENDS BAD NEWS. it's a COVID!!!!#over the last 2 years the chat has been named#plague house#unplague house#replague house#un-replague house#re-replague house#un-re-replague house#and now this#that's Aimee's COVID then me and Sam then Aimee again now me again#we name it unplague celebratorily whenever we're done quarantining#this may seem like a lot of cases of COVID but in fairness#a) 3 of them occurred during the period where Aimee was working at the test centre. although i don't think that's what caused me and Sam's#cause my colleague in the borders went down the same time as me a few days after we met up down there#so i think we both got it at that cafe#and also b) 2 of them happened after people largely stopped testing regularly so all I'm saying is.#i don't think we've had it more than most but i do think between the 3 of us we've stayed pretty good at testing#and we keep track in the chat cause we quarantine separately and thus far have never dealt with a situation where all of us have COVID
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Listen buddy u don't need to be productive but you do need to balance your assorted interests in a way that doesn't negatively affect u. Pls remember to look after yourself
#lostwood.txt#realising that i am not a man of moderation and that I'm gonna have to make like#a very deliberate effort to do anything other than play videogames for the foreseeable future#not bc playing videogames is bad in and of itself but just bc it's not good for Me#i need to make things and also do things off of the computer or i will explode#and I'm like. 90% sure this is why I've been feeling pretty crappy the last few days#fucking up your sleep schedule and doing nothing but Video Game? makes you feel bad? shocking.#who knew (< sarcastic)
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once#I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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I keep thinking about the Aquato siblings (specifically Dion, Frazie, and Raz).. do you think it was always that way or did they used to be really close until something happened to make them drift apart ? do you think they miss how it used to be ? that they miss eachother ?
#duck speaks#psychonauts#I think they used to be a sort of trio back in the day (like a few years ago or something lol) and they'd always hang out together#but maybe Raz did something one day that showed he's psychic and it changed the way they saw eachother#I don't think Dion told anyone else about it. but he definitely started treating Raz different and stopped hanging out with him over it#and Frazie (being also psychic and not wanting that to happen to her) was probably rude about it for a while to protect herself..#I think she'd feel really bad about it though#she'd probably still hang out with Raz. but more in secret for a while#they're still pretty close when you see them interact in psychonauts 2. but you can tell that it's not the same as it was before#and Dion's got his whole hating psychics thing there so#🤷#I do think he's always been kinda mean but probably it was more lighthearted before and it's also worse now
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i feel like my headaches have been getting worse :/
#idk if its living a city or just routine changes or WHAT but i do not enjoy this at all#in this one i think it's like cascading from being sick last week to the food poisoning to the migraine and this one is just. idk.#being bad.#Could be weather I don't KNOW but like usually I'm like these are. Fine. Manageable with the tools I have#But honestly if they don't go back to their previous level. I think if this seasons work is as busy as I think it might be#I could struggle and need to deal with them. More seriously#like my current level of avoiding stuff due to trying to avoid headaches i find. Pretty doable#Idk the last few days have been. A challenge. And it's like. I guess really only starting to sink in that.#I probably am going to be dealing with these stupid things for the REST OF MY LIFE like they aren't just going to go away. ....#oh caveat also for fucked up sleep the last couple nights
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Been writing some bonus/missing scenes from my tetrad mysteries series because I miss writing these four idiots so bad but have no energy ;_;
#i do have a few queer quartet fic plans / bits in the works. but yeah health problems got me BAD this summer. geez.#anyway apparently i can never stfu about these mysteries i wrote two years ago#and missing scenes are fun....#but they're pretty much just the characters worrying about each other when they're separated or hurt or something dsfghfds#no idea what to write for perfero's missing scene though. hmm.#might post them on ao3. might crawl in a hole.#so if i've been absent for a few days it's because of health stuff and also a total lack of focus and energy
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I played mouthwashing because of a person on the dash 2 days ago and it hasn't left me alone for even a second. I've been unable to sleep for 2 nights now, not because I played a horror game and got scared, but because I keep waking up in a cold sweat with half-formed essay ideas on my lips. I think this game changed me as a person
#i think it's mainly bc the game does such a good job of getting you into the headspace of the player character#a lot of games force the player into doing stuff they don't want to that's not anything new#but combined with how well it sets up the human emotions at play and the fact that you /know/ someone who /would/ do these things...?#man i just#huh#feels bad to hurt people#also i'm usually the kind of person pretty convined that i would do better in horror films#rationally i know that depending on the situation your brain just stops functioning correctly etc#but for example (until dawn spoilers) that game /never/ made me feel like in that situation i would have cannibalized my sister#it just didn't make me feel desperate enough for that ig?#mouthwashing however... i don't think i would have coped better if i was anya#anya coped extraordinarily wel#and the way the narrative tries to minimize her role makes me feel queasy#like fuck#good game#i want to play it again and see all the implications i missed#more games should be 2-3 hrs#admittedly i rushed through it a bit#bc i am soooo scared of horror games#i actually wanted to quit after 1 hour bc i just don't deal well with the feeling of a jumpscare around the corner#but i saw that i was p much halfway through anyway and continued on#best decision of my life#now on to play how fish are made#if it's even half as well-thought-out and written as mouthwashing i'll gladly be freaked out again#(maybe if i force myself through enough jumpscares i'll finally desensitize myself)#(ongoing project of my life)#(i LOVE horror but i am sosososo scared!!!!)#also if you are the person who has been reblogging this game the past few days PLEASE say hi#i've been scrolling but i can't remember your username and i want to thank you and also yell at you :')
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