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andmaybegayer · 4 months ago

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Last Monday of the Week 2024-07-22

There are many upsides to the city in the summer. But there's also the horrors.

Listening: I am (I think) almost but not quite done with Paradise Killer, a first-person detective game set on the extradimensional luxury island headquarters of an eldritch cult with a truly incredible soundtrack. A mix of city pop and vaporwave that really goes hard if you love the sound of the perfect imagined city. Here's "Knife and Crystal"

The entire Paradise Killer soundtrack is great, and in game each song has a little snippet of text to go with it, this one's is

The heat helps cook mysteries. People get weird in the heat. They get dangerous. Dangerous people create mysteries.

I'll write this up probably separately and it'll go in next week's monday, since I haven't called the trial yet and still have some snooping to do, but it really is a fantastic game. Try it, if you have the time, I got most of the way through it in about 8 hours.

This music sounds like a perfect summer day in the city we all wish we could be in, where there are exactly as many people around as you want, and you always stumble into what you need.

As a note, I think it is an interesting comparison to the Marielda soundtrack, which feels to me like a very different kind of summer city, a languorous city on the edge, an, overwhelmingly hot city, with only a few afternoon thunderstorms and passing clouds to break an almost oppressive heat. So you know, where I am now. I'll link the title song here too:

I mean the podcast helps sell it, but this would also fit into uh. The spanish civil war? Clarinet is like that sometimes.

God damn I have opinions on city-esque music huh.

Reading: Had a bit of a slump coming off of The Traitor Baru Cormorant but I finally picked up Monster and was immediately blindsided by the perspective change. Very interesting. The letter Baru receives from one of the other cryptarchs is making me go insane.

Watching: Movie night this week was RRR, which I have seen a couple times already but did get the joy of watching with some friends who had not seen it at all. There is so much going on, it turns out if you run out of making one movie you can just pivot to making another movie with the same guys and if you do that for long enough you have a three hour feature film.

RRR has lots of subtlety that can be debated but it is also so much fun to watch. It is up front and largely unironic in a way that is very refreshing because it is also done well. There are a lot of bad movies that are unironic and unfortunately that mostly hurts them because they can't deliver on their earnestness.

The thing that really stands out is that it knows how to hold a shot well. So many scenes in the movie just go on forever, whether that's the extended BFF montage or the torture scenes or the slow motion action, it just holds a shot in a way that feels obnoxious at times.

It helps that they're both impossibly hot.

Playing: I picked up a couple VR games in the steam sale to try and expands my horizons. One of those is The Utility Room, a fairly old VR experience based on a VR museum that's even older. Its age shows, it lacks a lot of the creature comforts of more modern games, but it is clever. It uses VR to put you in huge spaces in proximity to enormous objects that move way faster than anything like that does regularly for most people. It's a fun little experiment.

Also got Half Life: Alyx which I am really enjoying, I just got to the part where you get the flashlight which I assume means I'm about to get sosososo scared. VR so dramatically changes the way you think about interaction especially in games. Most obviously, this is a shooter, but in a normal shooter you shoot things by putting them in the middle of the screen and pressing "shoot" and then some HP is deducted. Here I am reminded that even when I handle real pistols I have a bad habit of raising the barrel a few degrees too high and I have to compensate for that. You have to fumble with magazines and rack the slide in the heat of panicked combat where you feel very much like a headcrab is about to tear your face off. It's great.

You also get the sheer physicality of the environment. Valve did not skimp on this game, it's not a little demo or a toy, it's a whole-ass game, and they made sure that almost anything reasonable you can think to do works. You just reach out, you can move barrels by grabbing the rim and rolling them, you can open boxes, you can smash crates. You have a really smart gravity grabber system that makes interacting with the environment less arduous, and some very intelligent use of the fact that you have to switch what's in your hand to make you feel endangered any time you have to put your pistol away to hack a circuit or move an object.

Making: Disastrous burfee making misadventure when a friend said she had been wanting to make burfee and I invited her over. Got mixed up while trying to host and cook simultaneously and didn't boil the syrup long enough, resulting in liquid burfee that did not ever set up into something usable. Salvaged haphazardly with some dessicated coconut to form a structural mesh, but it was not good. Syrup is the most important and least fixable part of a burfee recipe, you really just have to learn to eyeball it to make sure it's right before you continue. Learn from my mistake. Make sure your bubbles are stacking to know you've driven off enough water.

Tools and Equipment: Thin, fine cotton sheets are a great way to avoid messing up pillows if you aren't able to wash your hair as regularly as you'd like, or if you just don't like generic grease build-up. You can keep so many of them on hand and toss them in for washing every couple days.

I didn't have hot water this week because of the annual maintenance cycle, so. You know.

#last monday of the week #Bandcamp

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totallytubulargirl · 7 years ago

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Soulmate AU: Leonardo (P1)

Universe:2016

Tmnt age: 20 and 21 years old

Rating: PG-13

Authors Note: I started this a LONG time ago. Lol it’s finally done I’m sorry please don’t hate just appreciate :P I also wanted to thank @sapphireslily for the inspiration to do the chest hum and @tmnt-rambles for the inspiration of the name somewhere on his body. Lol they wrote that like 6months ago so if they don’t remember I understand. Also I’m going to start putting their age at the beginning of all my stories so people don’t think I’m writing smut about teenagers. BECAUSE I AM AN ADULT AND THAT IS WEIRD. (P.s. it’s so long I’ll add a keep reading later when I get on desktop. Also there is sosososo much dialogue in it. Idk about this mayne it’s sort of different and really long lmk if you hate it please.)

Summary: Leo has turned 21 and the boys are eager to find out if they get a soulmate. But when Leo discovers who that supposed soulmate is, he is worried about letting his secret out.

21 years old. For some reason Leonardo had always felt they would never make it to be that old. Maybe shredder would’ve killed them by now, or Krang would try to invade again and actually succeed. Whatever it was, he thought they would’ve sacrificed their lives to save humanity by now, but here he was, sitting at home, while his brothers made him a cake and some supper. He knew what 21 meant to the humans. They could drink and smoke whatever they wanted but most importantly, it was when their soul mark appeared. A small name, etched across their skin with the name of the person who was supposed to be the love of their life. Could it happen to turtle-human hybrids?

“Happy birthday to you!” His brothers burst through the kitchen door, singing with a cake that didn’t look half bad. Leo smiled the best he could. “Happy birthday to you!” Mikey sang the loudest, while Raphael just sort of mumbled the lyrics. “Happy birthday dear Leo, happy birthday to you!” They plopped the cake in front of him,

“Go ahead,” Mikey grinned. “Make a wish!” Leo blew out his candles but his mind raced with thoughts of his mark. He thought it would appear right away, or that he would maybe feel different, but nothing. His brothers stared at him expectantly, but nothing.

“Shouldn’t you be floating in the air… transforming or something, with like light surrounding you as white doves fly everywhere.” Everyone stared at Mikey.

“This isn’t one of your stories numb nuts.” Raphael laughed and flicked Mikey’s snout. Mikey scrunched his face together before punching Raphael on the arm.

“Well nothings happening stupid.” Michelangelo was satisfied with his punch and insult and laughed. Leo could see Raphael getting ready to pounce onto the younger turtle.

“Stop it you two.” He snapped. Leo stood up, “We all knew this was possibility. We didn’t know if this could even happen to us, after all it is a human thing.”

“Yes but we are technically half-human.” Donatello raised a good point,

“So that means we only had a 50% chance.” But so did Leo. “But it’s fine we will just keep fighting and protecting the city,” Leo took a deep breath. “And that’s all we will ever know but it’s fine.”

“Good thing i’m not stuck being single like you losers.” Raphael taunted. Leo looked over at Raphael. He had started dating [Y/N] just six months ago, even though they had only known her for eight.

“Well we can’t all be perfect like you Raph.” Donatello snapped. They had all been hoping for this. Leo was the first one of them to turn 21 and if it wasn’t happening to him, it sure as hell wasnt going to happen to them. They all tried to finish celebrating Leonardo’s birthday like normal but disappointment was the undertone for the rest of the night. They finished up the festivities and all disappeared into their rooms to grieve the loss of their soulmates in silence.

———————————————————

Leonardo groaned awake in his bed. He tossed and turned a little before realizing he was awake. He slowly blinked his eyes open as the side of his head throbbed. It didn’t feel like a headache, more like someone had punched him in the middle of the night and left a bruise. He threw his blankets off and walked into the bathroom Leo stood in front of the mirror, maskless. There in his reflection was a small name that looked like a tattoo, etched into the right side of his face right where his mask would usually go. He traced the name with his finger before saying it out loud,

“[Y/N].” Instead of a hopeful tone, Leo said the name with dread. It was [Y/N]. He thought back to all of the times they had interacted and he didn’t see it. He had never thought wrongly of her, she was his brothers girlfriend after all. Leo huffed and wrapped his mask around his head, covering the mark that had certainly spelled his doom. No one needed to see it, no one needed to know. He would keep it to himself as long as he could. Leo took a deep breath, looking into the mirror to make sure he looked more put together than usual. He stepped out of the bathroom, confident that he could act normal but all that faded away when he saw her face. Vibrations shook subtly through the pores in his chest, creating a soft hum in his heart. He swallowed thinking that a simple reminder to his body that she was not his would make it stop. Instead, He stopped at the door way as she munched on a bowl of cereal while she perused the internet through her phone. She looked up when she spotted him out of the corner of her eye.

“Hey leo.” She said with a mouth full of corn flakes.

“Greetings.” He gave her a quick smile and tried to think of a casual excuse to leave the room but couldn’t come up with anything. He slowly took a step into the kitchen, and another and another until he had reached the sink. She raised her eyebrow at him,

“Are you ok?” She slurped her milk into her mouth.

“Of course.” He said flashing her another fake smile. Every move he made was calculated, was it too casual? Was he not casual enough? He took a heavy breath and leaned against the counter. Too casual. He took his palms off the counter top and stood up straight. Not casual enough. He didn’t know what to do with his hands so he kept them at his side. “How are you?” He asked in a steady clean tone.

“I’m good.“ She stood up and headed for the sink next to Leo. He tensed up as the hum in his chest increased in power. He could feel his body reverberating the hum and it felt almost impossible to hear anything. He backed up as she approached him. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, i’m sorry please excuse me.” Leo hurried past her. He was careful not to touch her, afraid of what feelings might come up if he did. She watched him go, confused as Raphael walked into the kitchen. She quietly retreated to her chair. Raphael and [Y/N] had been fighting over everything lately. There world views just weren’t same anymore. It felt like everything had change overnight. One day they were perfect for each other, and the next they weren’t even the same people anymore. If I don’t talk we can’t fight about anything, she thought.

“Aye.” Raph said as he leaned against the counter and opened a soda. He took a slow sip.

“Hi babe.” She said lightly, as if her voice alone could fix it. It almost did for Raphael. Seeing her everyday made things better for him, it was when they started arguing that everything changed. Right now though, they weren’t fighting. Raph felt a smirk grow on his face. He put his drink down and snuck up behind her, wanting to envelop her body in his arms. Instead she jumped and spilled the rest of the milk in her cereal bowl. “Raph!”

“Woah!” He jumped back a little before catching the bowl. “I was just tryna hug you.” She scowled at him,

“Ok well, maybe give me a warning next time.” She grabbed a napkin and blotted her shirt which was quickly becoming see-through. Raphael could almost smell her anger and threw the bowl on the floor.

“Well excuse me for wanting to touch my girlfriend!” The way [Y/N]’s face changed from anger to horror made Raphael even angrier. She was scared of him, she was supposed to love him and she was scared of him. “GREAT!” Raphael raised his voice, “Just so incredibly great!”

“You always do this!” [Y/N] yelled. “Can you just not get mad for once?” She began sobbing. He used to be soft and loving and now anger was the only emotion she ever saw. Did he even love her anymore? Leonardo could hear their argument from the living room. He would be surprised if all of North America couldn’t hear them. After he heard the bowl smash he headed towards the kitchen, peeking in just to make sure Raphael didn’t get out of control. He saw [Y/N] sobbing and he burst into the kitchen impulsively. His instinct was to run to her but instead he just stepped in between Raphael and [Y/N].

“Maybe you guys need a break.” He suggested. The humming in his chest was strong but he ignored it the best he could. Raphaels chest heaved as anger clouded his thoughts. He was trying to get a sense of reality, a sense of what existed besides the anger clotting his chest.

“Maybe we do needa break.” Raphael pointed his finger at her.

“Fine with me since you don’t even love me anymore.” She cried.

“Who said that?” He yelled back, shoving his weight against Leo’s arm.

“Hey!” Leonardo snapped. “You need to cool it.” Raphael glared at Leo, as if he was about to rip the shell right off of his back. Raph knew he was right though, and ran off. Leo breathed in relief but tensed up again when he remembered the humming in his chest. He looked over at [Y/N] who was currently a wet sobbing mess. She threw herself into his arms,

“Oh Leo I’m so sorry you had to see that,” she cried. Leonardo felt a warm sensation take over the humming when she hugged him, it was relieving. His face went flush as the warmth flooded his body. As if his entire life he had never taken a breath of fresh air until now.

“I uh-“ he struggled to find his words. “It’s ok.” He stated simply. She pulled her head from his plastron,

“It’s not Leo, he’s such a jerk!” Leonardo wrapped his arms around her only making her sob even harder. “Thank you Leo.” Her voice was muffled, but he understood. Leonardo and [Y/N] stood in the kitchen hugging until she calmed down. He didn’t know how long it had been, but standing there embracing his soulmate felt so good.

“Raphael is an asshole sometimes and I’m sorry that he’s not doing better by you.” He finally said, breaking the silence. “Why don’t we go sit on the couch?” Leo asked. She slowly nodded her head. The tears had finally stopped but her face was red and swollen from crying. He held her hand, guiding her towards the couch.

“I’m sorry Leo.” She said, wiping her face. He chuckled a little,

“It’s ok, stop apologizing.” He smiled at her and she smiled back.

“I just hate for you to see that, or see me like this.” She felt ashamed for crying, for fighting with Raphael, for everything.

“It’s ok, I’ll always be here for you.”

“I know, that’s what I love about you.” They smiled at each other for a moment before she hugged him again. As long as Leo was touching her, his body was calm and the humming in his chest would stop. Even better was the feeling that came after the humming. Oh god, he thought. I can’t keep this a secret. He had to though, for his brother. He looked down to her small silhouette and thought of all the happiness she could bring both of them and Leo knew he had to keep his mouth shut. She was only 20, what if she turned 21 and her soul mark said some one else’s name. “Thanks Leo, really.” She whispered into his chest.

“Of course [Y/N].” She wiped her tears away,

“I’m sorry I haven’t even told you happy birthday or anything.” She smiled. “How’d your birthday go?” She looked at him expectantly,

“Uh- it was adequate,” he lied.

“Did you get your soul mark?” She said, suddenly excited. Leonardo was at a loss for words. How had the topic already come up? She had snuck up behind him, leaving him vulnerable to her probing. Maybe she knew. Maybe she really was his soulmate.

“I uh,” he cleared his throat. “Well-“ what was he supposed to say? If he told her he had one she would ask to see it and then it would all be over. Her eyes widened with his hesitation.

“Yes! You do have one!!” She clapped rapidly in excitement. “Ok what name is it?” She squealed. “No wait don’t tell me is it April?” She leaned in for the juicy gossip but little did she know it was her.

“No it’s definitely not April,” he mumbled. She widened her eyes and threw her hand over her mouth.

“What if it’s, like, one of my friends and we never knew this WHOLE time !?” She seemed so eager to find out who it was but he felt she would panic if he told her.

“No, no, no it’s not anyone because I don’t have one,” he lied again. He didn’t want to lie but he had to for her own good.

“You’re obviously lying and I want to know why?”

“Can you just please leave it alone?”

“But Leo I-“

“Just please.”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone, just tell me.” She insisted.

“Fine it’s you !” He blurted. [Y/N] froze. Leonardo cursed at himself. It had only been 2 hours and he had already outed himself. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.” He buried his face in his hands.

“Can I see it?” She asked. Leo was surprised but he took his mask off, slowly revealing to her the undeniable truth. [Y/N] brought her hand up to his face and traced her name on the side of his head. “I don’t know what to say.” Leo almost chuckled before looking up at her,

“You don’t have to say anything,” his voice suddenly darker. “I know the reality of this situation,” he wrapped his mask back around his head. “You love Raphael and so do I and so nothing else matters.” She stared at the place where her name should be.

“Don’t you think maybe that means something?” A million thoughts flooded her mind but all she knew for sure was that that was her name tattooed on the side of Leonardo’s head. Her whole life she has been hearing about this soul mark, how it always found the right person for you. She had never known love in her own life, her parents had abandoned her when she was a baby, and she had to learn to fight in the orphanage at a young age. You had to fight or you wouldn’t get to eat, or you wouldn’t get a cot for the night. She had heard stories from the other children that sometimes one of the older night guards would pull them out of their cots and down into the basement. She didn’t want to think about what happened next. Maybe it never happened to her because she slept at the end of the large cafeteria, she figured they just never made it all the way to her. The soul mark though, was good and pure and it was the only hope that she had clung on to, through all those years. She dreamed of the stranger who would take her away from the hell that was her reality. When she had met Raphael she thought it was him, he was so perfect. His muscular figure was so intimidating it gave her a rush and when he smirked it sent shivers down her spine. He was the hero she was missing in her life; Raphael had always been so kind and loving with her, she was sure that she would wake up on her twenty first birthday, and it would be Raphael’s name engraved in her skin. Leonardo’s soul mark stated otherwise. “Maybe we should kiss or something?” She suggested. He jerked his head in her direction,

“Are you sure?” He raised his brow bone questioningly.

“Well I mean, don’t you think that’s really the only way to know?” Leo thought about it. If she didn’t feel anything, everything would be okay. He took a deep breath,

“Ok but if you don’t feel anything I need you to be honest, this is important.” The hum in chest became stronger at the thought of kissing her for the first time, “Are you ready?” He asked in a smooth and steady tone. She nodded her head nervously. She could already feel something, more like a million somethings. She was nervous and scared and hopeful all at the same time. Leonardo leaned in, almost against his own will, the hum in his chest forcing him to act. He could feel the softness of her lips against his mouth, saliva inevetiably interchanging as their kiss grew deeper. She tried to pull away but [Y/N] kept telling herself, one more kiss, one more kiss. She couldn’t help but let out soft moans as Leo pressed his hands into her back and nibbled on her bottom lip. Oh, How did he know? She thought of all the bad things that would happen if she didn’t pull away right now. She gasped and forced herself away,

“Leo!” She yelled, a little too loudly.

“Shh!” He hushed her. “What!?” She blushed a little before lowering her voice.

“Sorry, um,” she fanned herself and leaned back onto the couch. “So did you feel anything?” Leo couldn’t even see straight, he felt an animalistic need for her and at the same time he wanted to be romantic and take it slow. Oh, but she tasted so good, and fit so perfectly underneath the swells and dips in his fingers.

“I don’t think that’s important,” he rubbed his face, trying to catch his breath. “Did you feel anything?” He didn’t want to look at her, bracing himself for rejection.

“I don’t think those soul marks lie Leonardo.”He turned his head towards her,

“I was afraid that you would say that.” He threw himself back in defeat. “What should we do?” He asked.

“We have to tell Raph.”

#tmnt #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo #tmnt soulmate au #tmnt raphael #tmnt x reader #tmnt reader insert #leonardo x reader #leo x reader #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt fanfic #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo

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