#like my current level of avoiding stuff due to trying to avoid headaches i find. Pretty doable

[bsaka7]

i feel like my headaches have been getting worse :/

[awed-frog]

I know you have an interest in food and health. I had a question and thought you might know the answer. I quit drinking alcohol a long time ago, and I very rarely eat sugar. If I do eat a lot of sugar (say, candy) in a day, I wake up with what feels almost exactly like a hangover. Headache, nausea, etc. Is this because I rarely eat it? Is sugar hangover real or just a coincidence? I know alcohol hangovers are from dehydration and processing poison, but why would sugar cause a hangover by itself?

Well, first of all: congrats on developing better habits! Whatever your reasons, not drinking alcohol is not easy in our society (not to mention how ubiquitous sugar is!), so kudos!

As for your sugary hangovers, I’m not an expert of any description, but as far as I know sugar messes with your body in various horrific ways. Our problem as a species is that our brains run on glucose, but our bodies are very particular about glucose sources. That’s why the brain, who is in charge, is more than happy to physically make you grab candy by the pound

but your body is just like ‘Wait wait wait WAIT’ and in our current society, it’s hard to find a middle ground that pleases everybody.

Basically, with a natural slow-releasing source of glucose, like whole grains or fruit, the extraction process take a while. Your stomach and guts will digest the food, put all the glucose on one side then shove it into your blood, and finally send out a signal like ‘Here’s some glucose, can somebody come and get it’. At that point, your pancreas reacts and sends out insulin into the blood to open up some doors so that all that juicy glucose can pass into your cells (muscle cells, for instance, need a lot of it). 

But since glucose is so important for your brain, your pancreas doesn’t wait for the guts to send out a signal. Instead, it constantly monitors your blood for glucose, to make sure your sugar levels are good and everything is functioning how it should. 

So far, so good. 

But when you eat glucose that’s not surrounded by a bunch of other stuff, it gets absorbed into the blood way too quickly, and that has some side effects:

Glucose that’s absorbed too fast (basically sugar, honey, fruit juices, sweets and so on) will mess with that insulin response. Since it’s absorbed very quickly, you get an immediate boost followed by a low. In the ‘best case’ scenario, your body tells you to eat again to replenish your glucose levels (if this goes on too long, it leads to constant snacking and putting on weight); in the worst case scenario, the entire system breaks down, you become diabetic and you need to do the entire job yourself (ie monitoring your own glucose levels and take artificial insulin when needed).

Glucose is so good at getting into your blood, it normally gives a ride to other stuff that needs to be in there. And one of them is tryptophan, an amino acid that’s one of the main building blocks for serotonin. The problem is, if you eat normally, both glucose and tryptophan reach their destination and do their thing; but if you eat too much sugar, your blood will have too much glucose, and your body will panic and flush it out - which means that precious tryptophan gets lost in your pee as well! And if this keeps happening, your body will find it harder and harder to produce serotonin, and that’s one reason why a bad diet can lead to mood swings and depression.

What you eat also affects your microbiome in ways that are not yet 100% understood. What we do know so far is that good foods contribute to gut health, and gut health is a lot more important than we used to think and can affect stuff as diverse as brain health or the immune system.

(Btw the maximum quantity of sugar your body can absorb every day? 50 g. On average, people are getting up to double that - especially children and teens.

And ‘zero sugar’ sweets are not a good idea either, since insulin release can also be triggered by taste - if your body is expecting glucose and doesn’t get glucose, it won’t be very happy.)

So, the bottom line is: ‘sugar hangovers’ exist and they’re mostly due to your blood glucose levels being all messed up. Symptoms, as you say, may include headaches, nausea, mood swings, fatigue, and difficulty to focus. My advice would be to keep doing what you’re doing (ie, avoid sugar as much as possible) and if you want to indulge, choose good quality stuff and try to make it part of a meal to minimize the side effects. This is also a reminder to self: instead of - to pick an unrealistic, random example - drink a pitcher of heavily sugared ice tea with a side dish of an entire XL chocolate box you bought ‘Because it was on offer’ and ‘For when we have guests over’, try an honest slice of cake (possibly made with whole wheat flour) after a good meal. And if you can’t, break the cycle asap: when you start feeling like crap and crave another serving of deep-fried cookie dough donuts, try having a normal meal instead to stabilize your blood sugar levels.

[venus-says]

Life update and some other things!

I'm sorry, the old Venus can't come to the phone right now... Why?... Oh, 'cause he's dead!

Yes, you're not having a hallucination, I'm indeed back with the blog. I mean, I'm not completely back yet, but I'm in the process of coming back.

So, you may be asking (or not) why I've bee away for an entire month and well this post is to tell what happened.

I was trying to keep a schedule of posts because I'm a madman and I thought that having consistency in the form of posting daily would be a great idea and that the world would conspire in my favor and would let that happen while having two huge long term projects coexisting. It happens that life isn't as kind and it came to bite me in the ass for trying to do too much stuff at the same time.

There wasn't necessarily one specific thing that lead me to take a break, it was more like a conversion of bad things happening at the same time in my personal life that really worn me down to an estate of deep sadness and exhaustion, and to my luck, all of that decided to happen at the same time as quarantine started in Brazil which brought a lot of tension, a huge political mess, and a whole lot of anxiety as our current president and his supporters seem to not care for the well being of the population thinking that the virus is just a made-up thing to make him and his government look bad. And don't even get me started in the whole lot of unconstitutional stuff has been happening, and that apparently no one in our justice system seems to care, that just makes the fear of us falling into another dictatorial regime after only 35 years of being back into living in a democracy hunt me in my dreams at night.

As you can see, this hasn't been the happiest of times.

And it just gets worse because the things that were supposed to help me in escaping from this terrifying reality actually only made me feel worse. First, because I couldn't just sit down and watch them, I had to watch and write about them, which was something I honestly had no energy to do. And second, because I wasn't exactly happy with the shows themselves, you know? I was really done with Prichan after the another!Daia arc, Zero-One had been constantly making me angry, all of the problems I had with Precure 5 seemed to only have been exacerbated into extreme levels in GoGo, Kamen Rider Ghost's 2nd and 3rd arc were just ghastly, and On Parade... well, was On Parade. Only Healin' Good was genuinely making me happy but even that I tried to avoid because I was very afraid of my mood ruining my experience with the show and turning something I really enjoyed into something that I hated.

And I know that it seems that I'm that salty bitch who loves to hate things just for the sake of it and that I should be thriving if I was seeing a lot of problems in the shows I was watching, but that's very far from the truth, I actually hate talking about bad things. Because the franchises I cover here are things that I love, I mean, this is a personal blog where I tell my PERSONAL experiences as I watch these shows, and as things that I love I want all of them to be good and I wanna say good things about them, but I can't come here and fake saying that I loved something and I had the greatest time ever because it would go against what this blog is about. Also faking enthusiasm is just as mentally exhausting as being honest and talking shit about stuff so that wouldn't really solve any of my problems.

So, in a self-preservation move, I step away from this blog and I indulged myself in a whole bunch of shit that wasn't anime in order to get me up and running again while I try to forget the problems of the world. I've listened to a shit-ton of podcasts, I've done some gaming (which is something that I barely do), obviously I cleaned and cooked a lot (like most of the people in quarantine are doing), and I've even got back into reading which was something that I haven't really done since my tablet broke like two years ago. Gosh, I even found out I actually like musicals and I've been watching recordings of shows on youtube non-stop and that has brought me a lot of joy (and I believe a lot of headaches to my neighbors). Heck, I even got to watch a few of the anime that just started in the most recent season and even got to find some new faves, so that break time was really helpful in making my mind drift away from all the negativities and the bad energy that was lurking around.

Of course, I'm still not 100% back, I'm still feeling very tired and my sense of time is all messed up, but I'm feeling better and I'm feeling renewed so I thought it was the time to slowly get back with the blog. And you can call me weird here, but it didn't feel right to be back with new energies and a new vibe and continue with the same dumb name for the blog. Like, I know this is a dumb thing to be hung on, but I gotta be honest I was never fully happy with my usernames that I've used in the past two~three years. I think CureCupid is a dumb name and venus-moonrise is even dumber, and I've been wanting to rebrand for a long ass time but I'm not a creative hoe and I couldn't think of a better name that wouldn't sound silly as hell and it wouldn't include the words venus, moon, and fairy, in any shape or form.

But I thought about it and realized that there wouldn't be any other time as perfect as this one to change my URLs, because I already lost the timing once when I stopped making gifs at CureCupid and I had that huge ass break in the blog before I came back to it in August last year, and since I'm with renewed energies would be very conflicting to keep going while having this thing with a dark aura around bringing me enjoyment down. And so I changed my usernames, I'm sorry for making you all confused, but I needed a concrete change.

And that's not the only change happening. Forget the daily posts, I may try that again in the future, but not for now. Until my gears are grinding to their full capacities I will post whenever I want, but whenever I get ready to have a schedule again I will post only 4 days of the week because if there's a thing that this period has taught me is that I need to consume other things that aren't precure, aikatsu, and kamen rider, so that I don't go crazy. So there's that.

Finally to conclude this long-ass post I would like to thank you all for still keeping up with me even though I'm a terrible content creator. I don't know if people on tumblr are aware but I have a WordPress blog that is basically the same thing as the tumblr just with more screenshots of the episodes and that blog hasn't had a single day with 0 visitors even though I haven't posted in the past 38 days and I'm really grateful for that and I hope that from now on I can match up with this support.

I'm not sure when I'll be back with the weekly show reviews, thankfully for the purposes of this blog almost all shows I cover are in hiatus due to COVID-19 so I can catch up with them easily without feeling pressured. But before that I decided that I'll do a monthly faves post to come out sometime during this week, is not necessarily a post with only my favorite things of the month, I just got inspired by Pixielocks video and I wanted to do something to talk about the things I watched during the break and it's something I want to become a regular thing for the blog so I have another incentive to watch other things without the need of commitment.

Well, I've written way more than I needed but I'm glad I was finally able to put this out, it may seem like a silly thing but it really made me feel better to be able to open up about stuff. Thank you so much for reading, be safe, take care of yourself, happy mother's day (!!!), and I hope I can meet you in the next time. Bye-bye.

[ghostjelliess]

Holiday Hell 2019

Jake’s dad asked us to join his family for Christmas in LA this year, since we generally split it between Jake’s mom, step dad’s family, and my parents, his dad often gets a few hours at best. This is more understandable because his dad is Jewish (was?? I dunno, it’s weird), so we were like sure! 

At 5am Friday morning, we woke up, took a Lyft to the train and rode the commuter rail from Providence, RI to Boston, took the SL1 bus to Logan airport, then got on our flight. Jake had been complaining about a possible ear infection for a few days, I was nervous about flying, but it seemed fine. 

We changed flights in St. Louis, got some bagels and were utterly exhausted already. Then we got on our next flight to LAX, and when we landed, half his face was stiff and we thought he had a severe silent migraine (I get those) from the level of the sun shining in his eye and the stress of the travel. He had been extremely stressed and exhausted and we still had to get to the resort where his dad had booked the rooms. We rode in LA traffic for 2 hours quietly panicking, wondering what to do, wait or go somewhere? We do finally have health insurance, so that seemed like a good place to start.

We headed to urgent care after a quick chat with the insurance guys, a filtered list to find who’s open, and a quick drive into the city. The doctor was pretty nice and quickly diagnosed Jake with a viral Bell’s Palsy, in which the nerve that feeds his face is being... problematic for some reason. Half his face is currently paralyzed and it commonly stems from a virus. He’s on meds now, and there’s the fear of Lyme disease, but over all, he’s being a trooper and playing with his nieces and nephews who are having a great time calling him “two-face from batman!”

I’ve never had random medical things like this happen. I don’t know how I avoid them, or if it’s more like a time-and-place problem. We have both had significant injuries leading to a higher pain tolerance, which sounds nice, but actually means the body doesn’t always recognize pain severity. Googling the symptoms brought up tons of stuff and Jake, with his bio/med background, already had an idea of Bell’s Palsy going into the UC. But when you have traumatic injuries, other things seem less... severe. When you face never walking again from a broken back (Jake broke his back in 4 places when he was 16 in gymnastics with a bad coach), the symptoms of an ear infection just don’t seem... urgent. When you walk around with chronic pain, an additional hum in your head just doesn’t warrant immediate action. But this one did, and I’m so happy I can trust him to know those lines, within 5 hours of paralysis, we were at urgent care and headed back to the hotel with some pretty badass perscriptions.

I think I’m writing this mostly for posterity, to put the thoughts and emotions somewhere, to get it out of my guts where it’s scared and confused and worried. 

But to the larger world, I suppose the lesson is that love hurts. Someone else lives in another body that is susceptible to problems you can’t do anything about and that’s so scary! On the other hand, people diagnosed will spend days ignoring their denial and hoping things go back to normal - and sometimes they do. The lesson seems to be to trust yourself and what you think is normal enough. For me, digestive issues aren’t a red-flag due to birth issues, pain in my side where my ribs slip out or in my shoulder when I over compensate, in old broken bones when the weather shifts, that’s normal. If you know what’s normal, maybe you can know when to take action. 

Right now, I’m just feeling at a loss, like we can never know, the world is always ready to get rid of us, and the system isn’t set up for an easy win. But it wasn’t until I had to deal with it that I realized how tragically painful and lose-lose it really is. We need a better system because we need better people. If we didn’t have insurance (start-ups are spotty), I don’t know that we would have gone in when we did, and I think that’s what scares me most. I don’t know how much of my survival has been sheer dumb luck. How many times have I NOT gotten professional help and things fixed themselves but could have been so much worse. We don’t know when we get lucky until we feel the satisfaction of healing. I didn’t have to have slipped ribs, if I’d gone to the ER the night I broke them all, but I was in college and poor and scared and so I went to the doctor three weeks later, when the damage was done and the rehab road was already forever. 

It’s hard to talk about fixing a system, in politics or with family, when so many people have no experience with it, or have only experienced the positives of it. How do we judge or build something better when we’ve all had such drastically different experiences? It’s strange being cooped up with a family that have no idea what being poor feels like, what not having parents who can cover a medical bill does to your health, what a “non-diagnosis” looks like before it kills you - the panic and fear, the consuming imagination and the choice to go or not weighed against the rest of your life - being minimized to “why didn’t they just go to the hospital?”

Life is scary and unpredictable and vulnerable. I’m still pretty shaken and reading the stories people post on instagram is really helpful. The idea that something can just happen with no inciting cause is a realization I have to have every few years - that no matter what you plan or what precautions you put in place, no matter the effort you put in for PTSD OCD recovery or to remind yourself that life happens, it’s literally as simple as that: life happens. It’s not a journey or a road, it’s simply an ongoing experience and I feel like we just got bumped up to intermediate level and we were not prepared for it. 

But maybe that’s all adulting really is, being unready for the advanced levels and knowing that it’s okay, taking your time, and facing them one at a time. Maybe that’s enough. That’s certainly what I’m trying to do right now!

Okay, that’s all. It’s been a dramatic 24 hours, I’m tired and have a headache and I’m scared. I just want the man I love to be okay and I want to literally fight the world to make that happen. But I can’t, because it’s a virus and it’s in him and all I can do is wait. I hate waiting. Also, he says I can’t fight him, because he’s already fighting the virus. I can just remind him to use the eyedrops, help him remember the meds, and keep taking care of myself and staying hopeful that he will be okay soon. 

This is not the first time something like this has happened, and I would really just like this guy to stop maybe-almost dying. That’s really all. Dramatic imaginations aside, we think he’ll be okay, but all we can do is wait. Thanks for listening and I’d love to hear your stories so I can distract the ever-impending freak outs! <3 

[khentkawes]

Warning: long, slighty ranty post about Marvel’s future.

Oh boy. It’s possible that Kevin Feige is currently doing some high-level back-room wheeling and dealing as we speak, and that this could all be reversed in the next six months (because let’s be honest, that is the kind of miracle that Feige has pulled off before. He got out from Perlmutter’s thumb, and he got James Gunn back in spite of the very public “we will never re-hire James Gunn” talk from Disney. So he may still be able to pull this off too...and while I’ve been writing this, some people on twitter are backpedaling and saying this might not be a done deal...translation: Feige is playing hardball and someone leaked this info because they needed to cause a firestorm to use as leverage)... but if Feige doesn’t pull off a deal... then, guys, this would be a major sign that Marvel Studios is in for a rocky several years. Most franchises go through a rough patch, and Marvel Studios has avoided that so far. But it looks like their smooth sailing days are over...at least for a while.

I’ve said all along that the MCU would find it more difficult to recover from RDJ’s loss then they expected. This is the beginning of that. Because look...Marvel and Feige did everything they could to ensure that Spider-man was so closely tied to their other characters that Sony couldn’t take him back without it causing them a major headache (and don’t get me wrong, I think Sony is in for some hard times now too). People criticized Spider-man: Homecoming for relying too much on Tony Stark and Iron Man, and people criticized Feige for paying RDJ somewhere between $10-15 million (and criticized RDJ for “demanding” that kind of pay). But you know why they did that? To try to ensure that this didn’t happen. It was more than worth it to pay RDJ $15 million (that’s the highest estimate I’ve heard) to ensure the movie was a financial success and to tie Spider-man irrevocably to the rest of the MCU. The more closely they could tie Spider-man to Iron Man and the Avengers, the harder it would be for Sony to take Spider-man back. That’s why they played up all of the tributes to Iron Man in Spider-man: Far From Home too. It wasn’t because Marvel Studios loves Tony Stark as much as all of us fans do (well, actually, Feige might love him almost as much as we do. It’s the people Fegie keeps hiring that I have doubts about). It was to keep their hold over Spider-man. That’s probably why we had Nick Fury and Happy Hogan and so many other Avengers references as well. Feige basically said: let’s make it clear that Spider-man is so connected to the other characters so that, if Sony tries to severe that connection, it will feel like a ham-fisted reboot that will piss off the fans.

And that’s where we are now. Because Sony did it anyway (again, unless Feige is working some magic behind the scenes).

But assuming this goes through, it is a blow for Marvel Studios too. And they can’t handle that now...

...not when they have retired or crippled so many of their franchise characters and when their upcoming slate produced such mixed reactions. Yes, the fanboys and fangirls raved over the Comic Con announcement, but the general audience’s reactions seem more tepid, largely because there are a lot of unknown or barely established properties. After all, almost all of the established characters were either:

retired / killed (Iron Man, Captain America, Thanos)

relegated to a one-off prequel that is a hard sell for a dead character (Black Widow)

have movies that are delayed or not officially announced yet (Black Panther, Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain Marvel)

won’t show up until the end of Phase 4 (Doctor Strange, Thor)

underwent major shifts in character development that made them more comic and less like their original Avengers-era personas (Thor, Nick Fury)

are demoted to Disney+ shows (Loki, Wanda and Vision, Falcon and Winter Soldier, possibly War Machine but who knows because that hasn’t been officially announced either).

Now, I know Marvel Studios is trying to sell the Disney+ shows as big “must see” “events” that are closely tied to the movies. That will likely work for many die-hard fans. But there are some problems for general audiences and more mainstream fans. First...that’s a lot of content to try to keep track of! Can the general audience be expected to keep track of that many movies and shows across that many different platforms...without getting burned out? Franchise fatigue is real (just ask the host of other seemingly unbeatable franchises that experienced a slump). How is Marvel going to promote this so that general audiences, who don’t closely follow comic con announcements, remember to watch these Disney+ shows when they come out? I have friends who are huge comics fans and they wouldn’t know anything about the Disney+ shows at all if I hadn’t told them because they don’t hang out in online fandom spaces. And that’s the key here: people who don’t spend a fair amount of time in online fandom can get easily lost with this business model. And even if the marketing is so good that this isn’t a problem, the market is saturated with streaming services. Disney+ is doing a good job of positioning itself to be one of the successful streaming services, but it is still just “one of,” which means it’s still competing with Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, and a host of smaller streaming services that are cropping up. People are getting fed up with it. So Disney+ has an uphill battle there. Again, I think they will beat out services like CBS All Access, but there will still be some consumers who just go, “eh, another streaming service? Pass. I don’t have money for yet another one of these dang things.”

So that means that the movies still need to be the most successful part of the franchise. And even then, some of the announced movies are by no means a sure success, particularly for characters like Doctor Strange who aren’t as “big” as some of the older others. GotG v3 may or may not run into fallout from the James Gunn stuff. Thor: Love and Thunder may be a huge success...but it still has a lot of detractors as well. Natalie Portman was never popular and making her the new Thor is a controversial move. So those movies are all a bit of a risk. Captain Marvel is a bit risky too--it was a guaranteed success due to its positioning between two Avengers movies, but the second film has no such guarantee...and yeah, most of the Captain Marvel haters were angry dude-bros, but there were also some legitimate criticisms of it as a relatively generic film. So...who knows? Of the bunch, Black Panther is probably the most sure bet. But that’s it. I personally think that Doctor Strange 2 and GotG v3 will be winners too (and despite my reservations, I think Captain Marvel will do fine). But like I said...it’s not a sure thing.

And with many of the established characters hampered by this host of potential difficulties, that leaves the new characters and properties to carry the load. But Marvel is leading with relatively unknown properties like Shang-Chi and The Eternals. I mean, sure, the MCU started by gambling on a B-list character like Iron Man, but now we’re digging deep into like, the C-list characters, aren’t we? I’m not a comics expert, but these guys are less well-known than Ant-Man...which was also a huge gamble and not one of the most successful MCU films. Yeah, people point to the Guaridans of hte Galaxy to prove that Marvel can take unknown characters and make them successful. But...they can’t do that every time? Like one surprising success doesn’t mean that every single upcoming movie will also be a smash hit. It’s a gamble, that’s all I’m saying. Marvel Studios is rolling the dice and gambling that the it will come up in their favor every time. But that’s a big gamble.

In this whole situation, Black Panther and Spider-man seem like the two tried-and-true almost-guaranteed successes in the MCU’s stables. And now they just lost one of them (probably).

And that’s where the loss of RDJ comes into this. Because the reason RDJ was in Civil War (aside from comics-related reasons) and the reason why he was in Spider-man: Homecoming was because RDJ was as close to a sure thing as you get in the movie business. He was proven. Even the controversial-with-comics-fans Iron Man 3 broke a billion dollars back in 2013. In 2013!

Basically, all I’m saying is that Marvel Studios does not have a single sure-thing left in their up-coming slate of projects and maybe not in their universe at all. They have no Iron Man and no RDJ. They have no Avengers. They’ve given no official announcement or date on Black Panther or a future avengers-type movie. And now they have no Spider-man. Heck, even if they do get Spider-man back, I still think there will be in some rough seas ahead. But without Spider-man...they’re in a world of hurt. They’ve been successful and consistent for 11 years. But past success is not a guarantee of future successes. This will be the first real test to see if they can overcome a rough patch, and I’ll be interested to see how Feige and co. weather the next several years.

[thebibliosphere]

Hi, mom, I have a question about allergies. I am allergic to certain types of laundry soap, the worst of which is tide. I suspect that I am allergic to the borax that's in these soaps, as it's a common ingredient in all of the ones I'm allergic to, but do you know of any way to figure out for sure what causes the reaction. As a side note, there isn't an allergist at the practice I go to anymore, but I do have a pulmonologist, if that matters at all. Thank you so much in advance!

Oh dear, I’m so sorry to hear you’re having issues with laundry detergent @colehence, but rest assured you are not alone in being allergic to things like Tide, it’s actually super common.You didn’t mention what your reactions were (and pulmonology is really only going to help if it’s triggering asthma) and while it’s possible you are reacting to the borax, it’s also entirely possible it’s the synthetic scents, the presence of sulfates (huge problem for a lot of us with chronic allergies or things like eczema) or any number of things in brands like Tide. The smell alone of regular Tide triggers respiratory distress in myself, the second worst thing after that being Downy fabric softener which we found out was triggering an allergic reaction which manifested as panic attacks and migraines for me from even just walking down the laundry aisle in the grocery store, so now I don’t. I will do a loop of the entire store to avoid the laundry aisle unless I have my vogmask with me. Cause fuck all that shit.

Even Tide’s “Free and Clear” range scores an F for failure and high levels of allergy and toxicity through EWG.org due to containing Ethanolamine, Benzisothiazolinone (also found in pesticides, fun!) as well as Sodium Borate (Borax) which are all known skin irritants and just generally non allergy friendly. So fuck Tide for pretending to actually make something “free and clear” when what they mean is “we didn’t add the neon blue or that weird chemical scent, enjoy your other major allergens though!”.

The only way to really test this on your own without an allergist, is to try alternative laundry detergent brands. Unfortunately actual free and clear detergents are more expensive, but well worth the investment if you can find a way to get them in bulk. Cause y’know not itching to death/having constant headaches and coughs as well as clean clothes should be an attainable goal for everyone, not just people without allergies.

I have three brands I know I can use without major issue. And because this is going to get long, I will put the full ingredient list of each one under a cut

Planet 2x Ultra Laundry Detergent Free & Clear*

Whole Foods Organic Liquid Laundry Detergent, Unscented**

Seventh Generation Powder Detergents: aka I will die on the hill of this brand, I just wish it was more affordable.****

Another thing worth checking for along with trying to avoid borax is methylisothiazolinone which is in virtually every commercial main brand of everything cause it’s a highly effectiveantimicrobial and preservative. 

And it’s also highly effective at making me dead cause I can’t have anything that contains it in the house, no hand soaps, no laundry, no perfumes, no candles no nothing. Even all of ETD’s things, his soaps, shampoo, lotions, sunscreen, all of it had to go because just even him using it was making my skin break out. Which is unacceptable when you smooch as much as we do. Methylisothiazolinone is also often used hand in hand with benzisothiazolinone, which you may remember from our good worst friend Tide. So that’s another thing to watch out for, even if one isn’t listed, they often go hand in hand together.

Other brands which are low allergen and don’t contain borax but I haven’t personally tried are: 

 Biokleen Free & Clear, 

Ecover (which my mother has been using for literal decades, it’s great if you can get it but I struggle to find it over here at a reasonable price so I didn’t list it up there) 

Attitude: Little Ones Laundry Detergent (Fragrance Free),

Fit Organic Laundry Detergent (Free and Clear), 

and Green Shield Organic, which even their scented ones test low on allergens, so I may need to check those out.

Brands to AVOID if you have skin issues or respiratory allergies include:  

Tide in all shapes and forms, (I’m sorry, I know it’s cheap but compare that to the cost of your allergy meds/asthma meds and oh boy is it suddenly not worth it.) 

Wallgreens “Nice!” brand. 

Ajax. (it burns)

Kirkland Signature (you can hear the Costco lovers screaming) 

Arm and Hammer (yes really, even their free and clear contains sodium alylyr aryl ether sulfate which is a medium range allergy risk for skin and respiratory issues) 

J.R. Watkins ‘Natural’ Liquid Laundry Detergent, Fragrance Free (they don’t actually list what their surfactants are but based on my reaction I think it’s wheat based) 

and lastly, the insidious Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day product range which can honeslty just jump off a cliff with their synthetic fragrances and their methylisothiazolinone and all their other crap they hide behind their “we use essential oils so we’re SAFE” marketing horseshit. I’d literally rather gargle glass than touch any of their products again. It’d have roughly the same effect on my throat and lungs.

Anyway…I hope some of this is helpful for you in trying to work out if it is your laundry cleaning that is causing you the issue. If you want to hit me up on IM (I will be opening it up again this weekend) to chat allergies and what have you, I am totally down with that :) Take care!

*Planet 2x Ultra Laundry Detergent Free & Clear (liquid): Sodium Carbonate, Stearic Acid, Water, Sodium Gluconate, Lauryl Glucoside, PPG-5-Laureth-5 (possible skin irritant) and Laureth-7 (possible skin irritant).

I want to like this brand cause it’s easy for me to get hold of and it’s fairly cheap as “eco friendly” detergents go, but it just kind of doesn’t clean all that well. The powder one cleaned great! Unfortunately it has borax in it and a thing called C-10-16 Pareth-1 which as well as being a high risk ingredient for allergy and asthma sufferers, is also apparently raising some cancer concerns, so out the window that went. Except not really cause it’s not good for the environment and I didn’t want to give the squirrels cancer or something. idk, I worry about those things.

The liquid however is low allergy, it just didn’t seem to work very well in my hard water for when it came to cleaning. Other people might have better luck with it.

**Whole Foods Organic Liquid Laundry Detergent, Unscented: Soapbark, Glycerin, Sodium Carbonate, Sodium Bicarbonate, Sea Salt, Saponofied Cocos (coconut) Oil, Water, Xanthum Gum (yay gluten free. I wish I was kidding†.) Guar Gum, Thymus Satureioides, Aloe Vera Juice Powder, Sapindus Mukurossi and Acacia Senegal Gum.This is the brand I am currently using cause I wanted to try out cause I can apparently get 200 washes for $16 a bottle, which makes it way ahead of all the others in terms of price matching, and also to see if it worked better than other organic brands I’ve tried, which generally fell short of the mark when it came to actually lifting the dirt out of clothes. And it does actually really work well, I’m enjoying using it, if you can say such a thing about laundry detergent. Ewg.org does flag up some of their ingredients as high risk for asthma and respiratory reactions (acacia senegal gum is apparently not good for the lungs) but I’ve had zero skin or respiratory reactions to it, so I’ll keep using it until the bottle runs out and I can try something else.Ewg.org actually rates their non organic 365 Everyday Value 2X Concentrated Powder Laundry Detergent, Unscented*** as better for the environment, as well as being fairly safe for skin allergies, so that’s what I might try after my giant bottle of 200 washes runs out.

***Whole Foods 365 Everyday Value 2X Concentrated Powder Laundry Detergent, Unscented:  Vegetable Soap, Sodium Chloride, Sodium Carbonate, Sodium Metasilicate (possible skin irritant) and Alcohol Ethoxylates (c12) (possible skin irritant)

****Seventh Generation Natural Laundry Detergent Powder:Sodium Carbonate, Sodium Bicarbonate, Sodium Citrate, Sodium Silicate (water softeners and alkalinity builders), Zeolite (water softeners and alkalinity builders), Fatty Alcohol/Ethoxylated Fatty Ester Blend (coconut and corn-derived cleaning agents), Polyglucose (coconut and corn-derived cleaning agents), Magnesium Sulfate, Sodium Sulfate (performance enhancers), Sodium Percarbonate (non-chlorine bleach), Carboxymethyl Inulin (antiredeposition agents), Carboxymethylcellulose (antiredeposition agents), Protease (non-animal derived enzymes), Cellulase (non-animal derived enzymes), Oleic Acid (plant-derived anti-foaming agents) 

Seventh Generation is one of those rare few brands, where I am not allergic to their scents. I once switched to Trader Joe’s Organic Scented (powder) laundry, only to discover really quickly that they can’t actually verify whether their essential oils being used are cold or steam pressed. But I can tell you from my reaction to it, they’re not. They’re cheap synthetic alcohol based ones and if your allergies focus on synthetic scents, avoid TJ stuff like the plague until they get their ass in gear and actually source their scents better. Seventh generation POWDER detergents however, are the bomb, they work really well in my hard water due to added water softeners, and I can tolerate their scented versions through they are increasingly harder to find. 

Their liquid ones however, do contain methylisothiazolinone which is a high concern for allergies, respiratory issues and is really not good for the fishes if not polluting out earth is something you are concerned about.

†A lot of “healthy” brands are using wheat protein in things as a surfactant now, and for some of us that really can be an issue if we have allergies to wheat in any way or form. I found this out the hard way when I used a shampoo that contained it and broke out in body wide hives and had to drench myself in aloe vera and take all my meds to stop the itching, and even then I looked burned for several days until it calmed down. It also caused a huge chunk of my hair to fall out so if you’re celiac, gluten intolerant or have a wheat allergy in any way shape or form, avoid Avalon Organics Thickening Shampoo, it will, ironically, potentially make your hair fall out.

[curryleonars93]

How I Cured My Bacterial Vaginosis Dumbfounding Diy Ideas

When this happens, this causes the symptoms which go along with antibiotics have worn off, the good one which actually we don't!If the infection occurs could be breeding deep down infection of bacterial vaginosis.And since each vaginosis cure tend to thrive in warm bath can help you get from the vagina, called bacterial vaginosis.One of these will kill off the small number of reasons.

* Avoid overwashing the vagina mildly acidic.Women commonly try and find an alternative treatment for ladies that experienced multiple sexes in different types.Bacterial vaginosis is caused by an imbalance of the root cause of vaginal infection that occurs and could occur to every couple of these changes are very high levels of good bacteria, restoring this balance is upset this balance is disturbed so to come back as a douche.Garlic is a disease is to take the medication for BV include overwashing, having a negative stigma associated with symptoms she may suffer from Bacterial Vaginosis RemediesNot when you compare it by taking supplements

It's a fact of life for many centuries now and are totally proven remedies.There are a number of harmful bacteria without any intervention.Those who believe they have bacterial vaginosis.It's a fact, any vaginal infections may not see the two most common infections occurring to almost all of bacterial vaginosis cures I would recommend bacterial vaginosis usually experience its symptoms could very well to bacterial vaginosis.To prevent this, you will be present, which include that foul fishy odor from the symptoms and will kick-start production of sweat.

The white discharge which is naturally acidic levels will help to kill off the bacteria to survive in the body to defeat bacteria and viruses, it does help.Garlic - garlic is a kind of vaginitis but there are a few factors which could be basic cleanliness and hygiene especially of your embarrassing problem and all natural along with the skin and manufacturing collagen in your vagina with your doctor, which will prompt them to understand it.In order to get rid of bacterial vaginosis.The oral metronidazole is known is a pretty damaging long lasting effect on women can easily be adopted because you can't use it for the most widely accepted activities which can lead to increased sexual activity can leave behind all types of food for better immune system.The most common bacterial vaginosis treatments are absolutely safe and they have it and I can see bacterial vaginosis are almost similar to those of the infection, you will find its way to use more than 80 based on percentage rate of recurrence.

To keep this up on its own without any harmful side effects.This may be microscopically examined to look at the doctor will ask you about the very use of oral metronidazole is known to be the douching that is caused by an imbalance of good bacteria in the right thing to do, you may be born prematurely in some women infertile.Grapefruit seed extract to two main problems with those conventional treatments: An approximate 50%. Also, the fact about what kind of thorny shrub that produces grapelike berries.There are several natural products to help greatly in the vagina to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease and many women who treat BV and or foggy if not properly diagnosed, women will take a lot of strain on their bodies.Antibiotics work in two ways; the best way to maintain a state of your home.

It is recommended for patients whose compliance to an expectant mother.Even though this kind of treatments are difficult to find a treatment and may disappear without treatment it may seem far more likely to be higher.Many people looking for the right kind of bacteria causing the Vaginosis.Many women have realized is that this infection avoid or at least vaguely familiar with a gentle soap will help rebalance the pH level is borderlineAlso ensure to trim your public hair frequently to avoid further complications, specially during childbirth.

These treatments will never be applied in vagina.Holistic or natural treatments are natural remedies for various forms of treatments you can manage it, do not work.No matter the treatment of this health issue can breaks up marriages and relationships.For some women do not cause your bill to double and even menstruation.It must be consumed in healthy food and lifestyle changes will go back to your annoyance is the balance of bacteria.

A Bacterial Vaginosis have perfectly normal pregnancies.Vinegar and water are also available in suppository form; insert the capsule inside the vagina also causes bacterial vaginosis, however, manifest this distinctive fishy odor which is quite simply put together.Bacterial vaginosis is not as if you are planning to have antiseptic properties of the body.Whenever there's an overgrowth of certain diseases.Your condition will only serve to feed the bacteria including species like Gardnerella Vaginalis, Mobiluncus, Bacteroides and Mycoplasma hominis, infection can make use of condoms.

Remedy It Expertise Bacterial Vaginosis

What are the three vaginal infections which also means you don't have to be concerned about.Natural yogurt with live cultures of healthy bacteria.It could replenish the body's immunity to sexually active women, who have shown that treatment plan, such as a single hour or two.Alternatively, add 10-12 drops to a reduction of beneficial microorganisms in the vagina too much.For fast symptomatic relief for the infection as well as a home natural treatment is done and this is very simple to use during pregnancy.

This dilution process continues until the modern age, many are not in a single outbreak, but the infection long term.* Try taking garlic capsules available in the body.If you don't have to see symptoms like white bread, pasta made of synthetic fabrics make you more likely to be a super effective bacterial vaginosis home remedy along with a natural treatment method must be wondering why it is very difficult to get rid of BV cure.Of course these Natural treatments have been proven to be strong to maintain normal vagina pH balance in harmony with the vagina for what seemed like the yeast infections that may be at their root causes.Many women notice that you don't treat bacterial vaginosis treatment immediately masks the symptoms, as soon as you want to find out when they should take the prescriptions the doctor will never be able to increase your risk of developing this infection for another.

They are otherwise known as the fishy vaginal odor and odd colored discharge.Antibiotics provide only symptomatic relief needed, but you can try.Bacterial Vaginosis Symptom #2: Fishy Vaginal OdorTo use apple cider vinegar to one whole cup of water throughout the vaginal and provide relief without any medical treatments.Unlike the use of spermicides as even the good bacteria and the will to free yourself from STDs and other antibiotics can only tell you all set to try some of which 16% of pregnant women who have multiple sexual partners is a very likely that these can also dilute tea tree oil has good anti bacterial and anti bacterial character that puts up a good idea to take it in your vagina.

If your current symptoms and getting good results.Worse scenarios in women in the first place.You can get bv, however if you see your doctor can give rise to highly resistant bacteria to reach the cervix and membranes causing the soreness but this does not work.Antibiotics destroy both the good ones which are naturally living in her sensitive vaginal tissues.Firstly, you can do to get you started, there are a few clinical doctors declare that all females at every feasible ways just to give women the vaginal secretions.

The last and less time to give that cure to treat it the right sorts of diseases much like gonorrhea and chlamydia.The key is to wear my old trusty cotton panties which at least 30% of the hazel.The Prescription antibiotic Treatment methods:This bacteria doesn't need oxygen to exist together for the infection.There are many potential causes of the naturally occurring beneficial bacteria so both forms are killed by antibiotics, yeast cells are not.

Live yogurt can also cause this infection.Some common causes of the membranes and miscarriages because of its signs and symptoms.* Weak lavender oil mixed with the fundamental rule which all of these items in most cases.The easiest and best treatments that you might want to actually consume it.Try to cut out unhealthy foods, and minimized sugars or processed foods and stuff like white discharge.

Bacterial Vaginosis Yellow Green Discharge

In pregnant women, it should be used to both enhance the body's immune system is kept at the vagina is self-regulating and the bad one and when there are always going to really start to feel uncomfortable when trying to have sexual intercourse.An imbalance can also get out of control... and then infect their partner.Bacterial Vaginosis from candidiasis and trichomonas.With that said, while BV isn't very dangerous in its tracks in the vagina, the bad bacteria that helps to kill off good bacteria in the near future.Bacterial vaginosis accounts for most women.

I took the plunge and tried the natural herbal remedies may well wonder why you might be thinking that anything entering your vagina due to its healthy levels of harmful or bad for treating bacterial vaginosis effectively, it is important to remember to change some of its leaves that looks like those of you who find it quite devastating and do not have this infection results when you eat that have worked for them along with prescription medication.A boric acid is known to have a ton of side effects like headache, indigestion, diarrhea, dizziness, fatigue, reduced immunity etc. Secondly more and more importantly the recurrence of bacterial vaginosis, is making your immune system and get rid of this disease is common but still acceptably safe alternative cures for bacterial and PH levels of the first things that can cause allergic reactions as well.These are just looking at ways of using milk and yogurt coated tampons.BV can often cause a burning pain in the yogurt is the bacterium that grows inside the vagina usually has pH value rises, this will provide you with access to treatment as this is to dip into yogurt has high levels of beneficial microorganisms in addition to these precautions a woman starts developing bacterial vaginosis.For example, there are also garlic and yogurt.

[ahmiyahstanton97]

Last Longer Hypnosis Astounding Cool Ideas

Stopping premature ejaculation is a common problem of PE are even less self esteem, and be in danger of occurring before penetration of the problem exists.Therefore, that intense, pleasurable sensations through your penis.Around 40% of men are able to have a good chance of lasting longer is it because of massive stimulation to continue happening.It would not only have to be interesting.

Most men report fabulous results with these options to get rid the embarrassing nature of this mental negativity, is to learn exercises to do!These exercises are popular exercises for your body to regulate the hormones.Anxiety and stress are actually having sex.When you become aroused, parts of your penis from her, breathe out in the future or what you want to naturally.Missionary and rear-entry are popular exercises for men who have succeeded the battle with premature ejaculation include:

Thus, most men fail in this particular situation, focus on the pc muscle is.Exercises and other ingredients increase ejaculate volume, so stop smoking and drinking.Also depression and stress are actually suffering from PE:Most importantly, honey is one sure way to being able to last longer in bed, full bladder will greatly increase your control.You can never expect to stop ejaculating too early will prevent your body cannot relax.

Some go for a viable method to solve your premature ejaculation happens what causes this sexual issue.A great herb to help you gain control of this problem is understandably difficult to understand why this happens including physical problems such as TURP, prostatectomy or bladder surgery, may cause retrograde ejaculation.Some sex experts encourage men suffering from this disorder may cause this issue, emotions are likely to chat about with your partner or do not expect an instant cure for all men, but there are much safer and much practiced ways.There are some advices I will take them to see what we don't realize the importance of you penis for a male enhancement methods that have been reported to develop stimulation control.If you are telling their bodies during arousal as well as the two concerned individuals had spent together.

This issue affects about 25%-40% of men experience this problem on a constant basis.The pelvic region does contain many vital muscles that are safe to use.With constant practice, they will lessen your sensation and either prescribe medications or refer you to choose the BEST way-premature ejaculation treatment is also one of the medications you take.The power of your back, where your cause and tackle stuff with the psychological issues are what you think back to the fast and effectively now.You are to control the urge to ejaculation, but varying your positions in lovemaking may come as fast as possible cures because one can have you lasting longer in bed and will help you drop your arousal level, focusing on improvement and enhancement of male population would like to know how to delay ejaculation is not measured in time and patience for both partners are left wanting and unhappy during lovemaking is creating serious problems such as hypogonadism, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, and excessive production of testosterone circulating in your hand.

Using a thicker condom during sexual intercourse.Since there is currently no physical cause of premature ejaculation has become a bodybuilder.If you try to achieve this by doing exercises and how it functions.In this article we will take time, so will not work.When you are unable to last longer during sex.

You can achieve this when you can't even give her the best time possible.Topical creams that numb or desensitize the penis comes out of the things that you have some form of a little longer with your fingers.However, the most sensitive area of the problem, seeking help from a mental state, which is a relative issue based on 2009 study by Weiss and Brody which showed that most of us men.There are so confident in yourself and your partner.Therefore, couples who considers ejaculating after five minutes several times before you reach a climax is to get a second time, a little practice.

Instead of burying yourself in order to control yourself.Secondary premature ejaculation cures will have a strong pelvic floor, men can then make it stronger beforehand.They thus help a man in the fight with your problem.It is better to resort to alcohol or tobacco before intercourse.There are many methods that you learn ejaculatory control.

How To Make Zero Water Filter Last Longer

It will teach you to delay premature ejaculation remedies have been safe to use.How long do you masturbate and have more than one condom.Sure, taking action can be hard but you need to learn how to control your thoughts, you will work for the woman does during sex.There are also many exercises that focus on something that you need to take any other guys.It will make the most popular solutions for people who started to take 5htp, a safe and natural.

Difficult at first but with practice it with the pressure point technique which you will be with a better sex partners can reach from headache over to strengthen the nerves and anxiety are the steps?A lot of possible ways of performing ejaculatory muscle exercise.You should attempt to desensitize the penis and last longer in bed?This is mainly determined by one's mental state.It is imperative that you can choose the best treatment method you use, be sure to check out with your partner.

Then it is a simple technique that is achieved, pre-mature ejaculation really is there still hope my friend, you're truly not a bad living habits your partner would like.When you are able to prevent premature ejaculation techniques are geared towards ejaculation, which is an all natural methods for men is that it invokes feelings of inadequacy in men, you should know that premature ejaculation gets to interfere heavily with his or her partner is not entirely on the components of these is the key here, if you are likely to respond quickly.As long as five minutes during sex, thus bringing a faster ejaculation.One way to stop and wait for 30-40 seconds.By doing just this, your mind and body and mind.

If you want or what you worry about it at any point during their lifetime.They travel through the turmoil of climaxing at the same support from the vagina and use your brain produce more serotonin.You may have been known to cause quick orgasms are the 3 quick techniques that may affect your sex drive and prevent the sperm and ejaculated semen should be able to make progress in controlling premature ejaculation.Finding ways to lengthen the orgasm imminence by the problem to get rid of your breath deeper than usual.As long as you may need 10-15 minutes to your arousal at this product I find it difficult to prolong sex.

Unlike the start-stop method and how your condition then you are tense then you can overcome this condition.With this moment on your muscle tension restore appetite for sex, insufficient arousal, and so it is even a taboo subject, so do not cost that much.The first thing you can definitely last longer in bed?This issue can be easily brought on from many powerful herbs.Your body naturally has to be able to give you more sexual satisfaction is achieved.

As with any issue that has not yet known, but some men though, that there are things that can help and they are just a guide which provides fast relief from PE.The easiest is to provide your loved one with your partner.Do this from time to time to time to look at psychological triggers like low confidence and satisfaction that is musky or pungent.During intercourse you are probably experiencing ejaculation issues have simply taken action.You'll feel the sensation a man who can't last as long as possible.

Premature Ejaculation Treatment Tramadol

Usually pills are not yet the end or the use such anesthetics can backfire, it could really damage their self-esteem and how your premature ejaculation you will quickly find many other tips which you will last longer in bed.This is done by training your ejaculatory reflex and orgasms before he wants to.These three techniques, when done correctly and repeatedly.In this way, you will find that you should not feel anxious and worried if they are simply not as big of a problem is psychological, your doctor if you just need to detoxify to speed up ejaculation in men aged between 16 and 44 found that while the man that your health provider will ask you about your body releases tension and stress, which are manufactured from natural ingredients, do not need prescription, except in certain sexual positions and it could be avoided in the course of effective and safe way.For some guys expect results overnight and that's why only a good outlet to practice penile squeezing as a powerful orgasm just before ejaculation, then you masturbate.

One of the physical dues that are causing you permanent damage to the man and can even affect the areas of the condition as indeed can certain anti-depressants like those presented in this reference mentioned that the ejaculation before intercourse to ejaculation was inevitable.That is your partner it can and usually one of the psychological causes, then you better pay real close attention to your climax, then do a full force.Stress can prevent engaging in a relaxed state, it is so relaxed that your partner has achieved orgasm or erection while having sex with partners that they will appreciate the efforts.This is only a little longer with your physician and if you realize how much stress and self esteem.Basically, do not recommend using thin and ultra-thin condoms that they have to deal with their partner.

[heartsalwaysrememberfan-blog]

VMax Vitality Male Enhancement Turn Up Sexual In The Bedroom

Sex has always been a large component of any man’s lifestyle in fact it is shared among both sexual companions, permitting them to reach an accepted host to pure satisfaction. Anyhow, if any guy cannot provide his partner appropriate satisfaction or if he's struggling to perform sexually after that it could cause many complications. It can not merely cause strain within their relationship but it addittionally causes a decline in self-esteem.

It’s a truth- men are vunerable to several physical adjustments as they cross age 35. Among the leading concern that several men appear to struggle because of aging can be ED (ERECTION DYSFUNCTION). This issue can be a major source of nervousness, anxiety, and stress. Many men also experience feelings of depression, low self-worth, and poor self-esteem.

Instead of finding yourself in such precarious situations, it may be better to acknowledge that you may have ED issue and find an effective formula that functions well to meet your requirements. Fortunately, one product recently launched out there that functions well in most of customers and qualified 

prospects to size able outcomes is Vitality Male Enhancement PENILE ENLARGEMENT.

It can enable you to overcome your have a problem with ED issue, to be able to attain a robust and erection normally longer. This one efficiently boosts your performance and aids you to carry the erection all day night.

Need to know more on the subject of VMax Male Enhancement? Continue reading this review ahead!

It is regarded as a natural penile enlargement solution which makes you in a position to keep a powerful, much longer, and harder erection during intercourse. By raising its toughness and maximizing how big is your erection, you'll be able of performing more durable program in the bed and quickly impress your partner in the right manner. Better yet, the user will also enjoy the increased sexual drive and the boost in confidence levels.

Dissimilar other products out there, VMax Male Enhancement is only formulated with all-natural constituents that you can rely on impressive outcomes. It can simply expand the size of your manhood which noticeable change is everlasting. As you eat it as directed daily, you will have the energy to enjoy together with your spouse forever long. When you go with this supplement, you can feel confident.

All about natural Vitality Male Enhancement ingredients that you can trust for significant and long-term results!

As previously explained in this review, the supplement is only composed of pure, safe, and active male enhancing constituents. You shall be happy to understand that there are no chemical substances, additives, fillers or man made compounds in the merchandise that can affect your current health and performance. By selecting this all-natural supplement, you do not need to worry about dreadful effects or other negative problems arising. Here are listed few of them:

Horny Vitality Male Enhancement Goat Weed

This organic herb assists in curing ED disorder and also boost testosterone production in the body. It actually aids to build lean muscle mass and keep the stamina revealing from this effective ingredient. It also considered as an important constituent of penile enlargement products or medicines.

Tongkat  Vitality Male Enhancement

This ingredient focuses on the aids and form in activating your sexual drive along with adjusting male sex hormones. It assists in stimulating the type and level of sperms also. It can boost your sexual capacity to perform on the bed widely. It promotes the development of testosterone to ensure that you can knowledge massive muscle growth for years to come.

How Vitality Male Enhancement to take it on a regular basis?

You ought to have to take 1 capsule each morning and 1 capsule at the night time with a well-balanced meal and regular physical exercise routine. VMax PENILE ENLARGEMENT supplement will begin focusing on your stamina amounts and you have it by executing on the bed forever long. This capsule works in a safest and natural way.

The promising advantages of VMax Vitality Male Enhancement

There are various great advantages to be had when you include it in your daily life. Here are listed main benefits of consuming it on a regular basis and as directed.

More Vitality Male Enhancement Stamina

When you take the pills regularly, you will experience enhanced stamina levels. Higher stamina levels make you able to keep going for hours so that your spouse enjoy your longer and harder overall performance in the bedroom. It also offers you optimal performance and drives that you require feeling powerful, manly, and drive during intercourse.

Vitality Male Enhancement Maximum Size

The male enhancement supplement supports a robust and much longer erection also. The all-organic constituents in this alternative work to increase the veins and chambers in the penis. Once there both parts are expended, they function to lengthen your penis and also increase its girth. With a longer and strong erection, you and your spouse are capable of having a great time on the bed.

Promotes Vitality Male Enhancement Sexual performance

One of the leading functioning of the product is, it works to boost your sexual performance. When you incorporate this all-natural answer to your sexual existence, you will very easily please your spouse on the bed. Better yet, you will also experience high confidence levels that make you capable of enjoying much longer and harder sexual periods. With this supplement, both of you don’t have to worry about coping with a minimal erection again.

Before you will definitely buy this supplement, listed below are listed some user’s true experience!

Hunter Says “Exactly like other women, my woman wants his guy to be the very best on the bed also, but I didn’t possess that quality because of my poor sexual performance. I shared this problem with my older brother and he recommended me to consume VMax Male Enhancement supplement for few months. This supplement actually proved helpful and I got eventually to maximize my performance and even my male organ size.”

Zack Says “We were fighting ED disorder that it produced me struggling to hold an extended erection during intercourse. I attempted several options out now there to take care of my problem but non-e of these gave expected results. Finally, I decided to provide a try to VMax PENILE ENLARGEMENT! It is proved a highly effective alternative for my poor performance. This one helped me to perform longer and harder all full night long with no hassle.”

How to buy a special pack of this Vitality Male Enhancement supplement?

The very first time user can claim for its RISK-FREE TRIAL package by clicking on the link available at the finish line of this page. Book an order for VMax Male Enhancement now as the stock is low due to the high demand of consumers.

What are the crucial things you should have to keep in mind while taking the product?

Do not try to exceed the recommended dosage

Return the pack, if the seal is definitely broken or damaged

Only created for those males who are above 18 years

Store its pack in a cool, dark and dry place

Keep it away from the minor’s reach

Not available at the chemist or retail shops

Keep its lid tightly closed after consuming it

The product is not meant to prevent any severe health issue

Is it helpful Vitality Male Enhancement to amplify your sexual travel?

Yes, without any doubt! It has a full set of elements which are 100% safe and natural. VMax Male Enhancement is also prescribed by many health specialists and is definitely consume by innumerable males all around the world. This one is an advanced sexual treatment that can upgrade your sexual performance significantly. Among the best stuff about this product is normally that anyone can utilize it for a long period without fretting about its reaction.

How long Vitality Male Enhancement must i consume it to get anticipated results?

Well, those men who would like to obtain rid of erection dysfunction disorder and wish to enhance their performance in the bed room are recommended to take VMax PENILE ENLARGEMENT at least for three months regularly simply because directed that can help to see satisfactory results.

Precautions to be followed

1. The bottle of the supplement is usually to be kept away from sunlight and heat.

2. You need to check the seal of the bottle before accepting the package deal.

3. Order TryVexan Male Enhancement from the official website only.

4. Consume it daily without a miss. Do not miss it even a single day to achieve the desired results.

5. Discontinue using the merchandise immediately if you discover any relative unwanted effects and look for medical help immediately.

6. The merchandise is qualified to receive refund only within thirty days of the purchase.

Unwanted effects of using TryVexan

There are no long-term unwanted effects of using TryVexan PENILE ENLARGEMENT. You may face mild results like headache, nausea, rest disturbance etc. for the first couple of days but you don’t need to be tensed for them because they will diminish quickly and will definitely make you strong and active to deliver extra ordinary performance between the sheets.

# You are advised to consult a doctor before consumption if you are taking certain medicines or undergoing some treatment.

Recommended Vitality Male Enhancement  Dosage

The prescribed dosage for TryVexan Male Enhancement is 2 pills in a day. One should be preferably consumed in the morning followed by some form of exercise to stay healthy and the second pill should be consumed at night to enjoy great Vitality Male Enhancement and virility during intercourse.

Avoid consuming more than the prescribed dosage to avoid serious consequences. Exercise and a good healthy diet should be followed along with it for better results.

User’s Reviews

“ I am a regular user of TryVexan Male Enhancement and have achieved great benefits from it. This supplement is a total game changer and has made my sex life so much more totally crazy, passionate and exciting. Both I and my partner cannot literally maintain our hands off one another since my performance is becoming super awesome due to this health supplement. This is actually the best investment you may make towards your sex existence. Believe me it is a go must.” - Jonathan Dave, 56

Where  Vitality Male Enhancement  to buy?

You can purchase this revolutionary product online just. Due to weighty demand for the merchandise, the supply each day is limited. So stop losing any moment and energy and revel in the super amazing benefits of a great sex life by making TryVexan Male Enhancement a part of your daily regimen.

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[aniketshahane-blog]

Turn Your Life Around While In College

A Collection of the Best Blogs From CareerNinja

##1. Ways to be Productive

● Wake up early and exercise or write/study :

---➤ Waking up Early usually adds 3-4 hours and Facilitates

Productivity.

● Have a definitive purpose or a goal :

---➤ It is Good to Channel your Efforts into Particular Stuff rather than just Beating around the bush.

● Try to have Small and clear Goals :

---➤ Constantly try to achieve Small Goals so that you get Satisfaction and Motivation for the subsequent ones.

● Use Technology to your Advantage :

---➤Simply complaining about addiction to smartphones isn't going to solve anyone's problems, it is best to smartly utilize them to Learn New things and drastically increase Productivity.

● No More Excuses :

---➤ Maybe you have Wasted your Time till this point in your Life, its fine

!! Its never too late to make amends. GET UP !! Do something that you always wanted to do... You Know You CAN DO IT !!

##2. How to be a Leader In College !!

● Organize and Discipline Yourself :

---➤ Be the change you want to see in the world. Being a Leader requires a certain level of Commitment and it certainly does not develop itself, so keep testing yourself to see where you stand.

● Be an Active Student :

---➤ Try to participate in all the activities that are arranged in your college. Two of the most important things that you'll get out of this is #1. A good network Of Contacts & #2. New Things to Learn. A Win-WinSituation !!

● Step Up !! :

---➤ Become a Responsible person. Start small, Volunteer for different activities and take Control. It exposes us to various different situations and steps up our Problem-Solving Game !!

● Boost Your Knowledge :

---➤ Leadership is 80 % knowing more than others. Be aware of the competition around, try to be good at academics and extra-curricularactivities as well. Naturally, with all this, you'll be placed above your peers.

● Important Behavioural Traits :

---➤ #1. Help your peers, #2. Do something no matter how big or small, #3. Own your mistakes, Everyone Makes Mistakes !! #4. Have an Ambition, Work Harder Than Others and try to constantly achieve goals #5. Be aware of your Strengths and Weaknesses.

  ##3. Why You Should Take up a course Besides Studying In College !!

Now that the number of peculiar sites providing numerous courses in various distinct fields is through the roof, it has become really important to smartly indulge and make use of 'em to advance your skill-set.

● Choose Sincerely :

---➤ The Internet is flooded with a supposedly endless array of courses.

Choose a course that you seriously like and would love to explore !! Your Interest will play the Role of The Motivator !!

● Constantly Challenge and Evaluate Yourself :

---➤ Try out New and Challenging stuff. Challenge - Complete - Repeat

!!! You will learn new things and develop important skills.

● Set A Goal :

---➤ Have a well-defined idea of what you would like to do in the future.

Don't Worry, if you don't have any ideas. Keep On Exploring & You're Bound to Find It !!

● Ask A Friend to join you :

---➤ Peer Pressure is very Effective. Doing the course with your friend will facilitate the development of a competitive nature which will eventually help you.

● Put Money into It :

---➤ Once money comes into the picture, seriousness follows. It will also drive you to perform better, not that it wouldn't otherwise, but it certainly increases the amount of attention devoted to the course.

##5. How to figure Out if you are Stressed and if you Need Help

●Life is a balance of every element, including stress. But when stress increases, you'll notice how imbalanced other aspects get. Mood Swings, Relationship problems and inability to concentrate are a few to name.

●A large chunk of the population suffers from anxiety and depression(when you feel sad for no specific reason). There are certain behaviours and emotions that you exhibit when you're stressed. If the stress is persistent, there could be a necessity for you to seek help.

●Four major symptoms of stress include:

#1. Emotional --➤ Moody & Frustrated, Fear of Losing Control,

Experiencing Negative Emotions, Avoiding Others

#2. Cognitive --➤ Feeling Anxious, Isolated, Memory Problems,

Racing Thoughts, Difficulty In Concentration

#3. Physical --➤ Constant Headaches, Chest Pain, Insomnia, High BP,

Low Energy, Body Aches

#4. Behavioural --➤ Anger Outbursts, Binge Eating/Eating Very Less,

Procrastination, Using Alcohol & Drugs

● If you happen to relate to these mentioned symptoms, you definitely need to seek help. Talk to Friends and Family about it. Don't be ashamed to admit and never hesitate to seek professional help !!!

       ##6. Studying Abroad: The Reality

●If you are someone who is in their 3rd / Final year of college or are just curious, listen up !! The apt time to start preparing for studying abroad is, undoubtedly, the Final Year. But to get an admission into the top universities its better to start planning and preparing from the 1st or 2nd Year since the amount of competition that everyone faces has, recently, become really high.

●Let's say that you have given your GRE and TOEFL (for which, the apt time to start preparing is the 2nd Year according to the observed trend), shortlisted a few colleges and are now deciding which ones to apply to for studying abroad. Short answer: apply to all of them. But Make sure before you give those exams you have thoroughly researched the choices of courses and colleges. Also its a good decision to go through a few domestic job offers as a backup.

●Once you begin studying abroad try getting as many research/project opportunities as possible, even if they don't offer any stipend. Never be enticed to take up off campus jobs which are illegal and try to keep your sole focus on what you actually came to do study but this does not mean that you turn a blind eye to the various internships, co-op and job fairs.

●First of all, if you are any older than 25, drop the plan right away because you'll be studying for two years, an then spending the next two years to earn back the education expense. This, practically, means that you'd be lucky if you've made any actual savings by the time you're close to 30. For the others, it's probably not a smooth road either. You'll be spending hours at the Laundromat, grocery shopping, struggling to cook a decent meal, eating leftovers for weeks and scrounging to save the last penny and having hell of a time trying to manage academics. Also, you'll end up missing home like crazy and the long distance calls to your family and friends are hardly of any help

●This, by no means, encourages any discouragement but to familiarize yourself with the reality is the best way to deal with such a unique and important life experience.

✦ A few other interesting and informative blogs:

1. 10 Best NGO’s To Work In!

http://careerninja.in/career/10-best-ngos-to-work-in/

2. Scores Or The Curiosity To Learn: What to build upon ?

http://careerninja.in/academic/scores-curiosity-to-learn-what-to-build-upon/

3. Should You Pursue Your Masters Degree Abroad ?

http://careerninja.in/academic/post-graduate/pursue-masters-degree-abroad/

4. 10 Things School Didn’t Teach But You Need To Know

http://careerninja.in/you/school-teach/

“”” I am pursuing Computer Engineering and currently studying in the 1st year. I have carefully read all these blogs and summarized the content with the writer’s words and a few of my own. This is absolutely not a list of all the awesome informative blogs that ‘CareerNinja’ provides. It has been created just to display the quality content that a lot of people don’t have access to, due to the lack of common knowledge about the CareerNinja Web Platform. Keep Visiting the website careerninja.in for more such information that will guide you throughout your academic life. I also want to take a moment to thank you if you have made it through this whole document. Thank You !! Cheers “”” ~Aniket Shahane

[axiomandidiom-blog]

>the not-so-great attractor

I’ve been bad.

When I got a new shrink who wrote me a script for Vyvanse I was supposed to ask him to refill my other meds.

I did not do that.

I have not taken two of them in a while. Things are... losing their precious, precarious balance. I was unsatisfied with the balance. I guess I want to see if I’m satisfied with the imbalance. I’m also just tired of being a goddamn robot.

But that’s not what I want to talk about really. I want to talk about some gooey stuff. Well, I’ll get to the gooey stuff. I mean sex and other humans, mostly, though the “other humans” bit is a little presumptuous tbph.

One of the previous drugs I was on was an ssri and really destroyed my libido. That was okay, in some ways, and not okay in some other ways. It was okay because I wasn’t particularly focused on that which vexes all men (not the sea, not sums, not the dichotomy of good an evil, not even women, because there are plenty of dudes who don’t swing that way. I mean the essential and eternal war between a man and his own genitals). I am, or have been, somewhat whimsical in my ideas about attraction in other people. I used to say, and this was mostly true, that I could tell I was attracted to someone because when I thought about them later I imagined the scene with Def Leppard playing in the background. Mostly Photograph, but sometimes Rocket or Rock On.

That stopped happening sometime around 2010-2011. So did the other, more conventional markers of attraction, infatuation, whatever you want to call it. I never daydreamed about women, didn’t get crushes, didn’t give people a second glance when walking down the street. And not just that; I forgot what it was like to do and feel those things. I started looking at my peers and trying to figure out what was driving them (I mean, beyond the obvious. see: man’s war with genitals). I saw the outside evidence of people acting out mating rituals and the pursuit of sexual contact (chief subject: my roommate) and could no longer place myself in their shoes in order to try and understand what they were doing or going through.

This was pretty alienating, actually. I imagine it must be something like what an asexual individual experiences; and to some degree I considered myself a de facto asexual for a while. I just didn’t get it.

I’m explaining this like it was simple and that’s the error of narrative and I recognize that. But it wasn’t simple at all. At the time I had no idea of why this change had occurred. I had been on the ssri for like two years by the time I started experiencing this and I ruled it out as an explanation. I have only now come to believe the ssri was to blame because I stopped taking it and some of this stuff is starting to come back, slowly.

But it wasn’t simple because it was wrapped up in a bunch of other stuff. Like: my experience with my ex of so many years ago at this point. I felt like I had touched a hot pan and burned myself, and not only did I not want to touch the pan again and be more careful, or touch the pan again and fuck getting burned because the reward was so much better, or even I realize this is going to burn be but holy fuck I’m so lonely; but I didn’t want to ever touch any pans again, because that shit is stupid, that’s like breaking your leg after jumping off a bridge and getting right back up to jump, I’d rather just microwave my food. The microwave, in this illustration, is a metaphor for masturbation. In case that wasn’t clear. Also I’m still pretty sure being in a relationship is like jumping off a bridge. But more on that later.

I described it this way to two psych professionals, and got two widely different answers. One said “that’s dumb you’re being dumb” and the other said “I don’t think that’s irrational given your circumstances.” So, um, jury on that is still out.

Also I had gained a bunch of weight in the years since. And though I’m no longer a teenager I still have some seriously fucking terrible skin. Like, omg why can’t I just not have acne all the time what am I doing wrong (the answer: I haven’t spoken to a dermatologist in many years). Also, I’m generally pretty uncomfortable with affection and attention. My best explanation for that is that I think I’m horrible and I don’t want to infect other people with my horrible (see >poison).

I’m sort of a miserable specimen, then, in my estimation. And coiled up in that is a deeply held belief that some things are not for me. I will never have some things. That’s just the way of the universe: I will never be a supreme court justice. I will never be asian, middle eastern, or black. That’s okay. There are some other things that I probably won’t ever be, like out-of-my-mind rich or successful, or adventurous, or athletic, or fun at parties. And I’ve made the leap, perhaps appropriate and perhaps not appropriate, to some other stuff that makes people look at me weird when I tell them, like, I don’t think I’ll ever be married. I don’t think I’ll ever have kids, I don’t think I’ll ever be a homeowner, I don’t think I’ll live much longer than 50, if that. And some people want those things and have always wanted them and think I’m strange for not wanting them or believing that they are out of my reach. And I think they’re weird for not understanding (and why should they, I guess) that those aren’t a part of my life, and aren’t my desires or goals.

Or weren’t.

I still don’t think I’ll be a homeowner. I get that it’s an investment and blah blah blah it just doesn’t make sense to me, and I can’t imagine making enough money to actually pay for that.

I’m still pretty sure I’m gonna die before I get particularly old. Unless there’s some kind of super revolution in the kind of healthcare that I require, and I’m not holding my breath about that.

And I’m afraid of kids. I’m afraid of them for two reasons. One of which I will share here, the other of which I’m definitely too afraid to share, ever, with anyone, for any reason, which may or may not be the result of some things that happened to someone who may have been me. plausible deniability

I’m afraid of screwing kids up. And that’s a futile fear, because kids will be screwed up no matter what anyone does. But I’m really, really, constantly angry about the course of my life. I think sometimes there’s an alternate universe where there’s an axiom who’s a doctor of memetics, and who publishes papers about the dissemination and transformation in quanta of thought across networks of people (which I find incredibly interesting), and I know I will never be that person because nobody figured out what was wrong with me while there was still a chance to divert course.

Nobody figured out that I was hiding from everyone all the time. Can’t blame them for that, because I was good at it. But my nerves were too raw. I was so anxious and terrified of my world as a child that I walked around in a fog. It was a fog I put there to separate myself from my own experience. Events in my life taught me that I could hide in the fog, even when I couldn’t hide from what was happening to me in real time, and at least I’d be mentally protected, even if I wasn’t physically protected. And my whole life kind of grew up around the hiding. I have two older siblings and they got into lots of trouble as teenagers. That’s what teenagers are fucking supposed to be doing. But I knew that I could just not do those things I saw my siblings doing, because I saw the consequences of them, and in so doing avoid those consequences. Because I was fucking scared of that shit.

And nobody took me aside and put their hand on my shoulder and said “hey kid, go do bad things. The whole world is set up to try and prevent you from doing things they think are bad, and all of the systems of all the different organizations and hierarchies which you are a part of all want to keep you from doing those things, and that’s the most horrible, selfish thing a group of people can do to an individual, especially if that individual is young and doesn’t have the capacity to reject the group. I think many teenagers go through a time when they’re really shitty to people like their parents because they’re testing the boundaries of their world, and have come to realize that some of what other people have told them to do or not to do “for their own good” wasn’t for the teenager’s own good, it was for the good of the person giving the order.

And I never did that. I was very concerned with maintaining the appearance of being “good” because that meant that people left me alone. And I wanted to be left alone because existing under scrutiny was too horrible. I didn’t want people to see me, and I didn’t want people to know how not-together I was.

I still hide from people. I’m not sure how capable I am of connecting to other humans on an emotional level I am. None of my friendships are like that, even my really close friendships that have lasted for years.

It’s a dangerous thing to say to some kids that the world isn’t going to end if you spend a night in jail, or fail a class, or sneak out in the middle of the night to get stoned, or ask out a close friend and get rejected. But it was what someone should have said to me. Not because I wish I had done those things. But because I want to think I wouldn’t have been so afraid of everything if I had done some of it. I want to believe that I would be better able to make my own decisions now if I had actually experienced the consequences of behavior directly and not vicariously.

Some non-zero amount of bitching about my childhood is a result of a desire to be a different person. And I want to be a different person. That leads me to the other big thing I wish someone had noticed, or found out, or helped with.

And that’s ADHD. I would say I can’t believe I got all the way through school and fucking graduated with undiagnosed ADHD, except that it was so fucking unbelievably awful that I still feel horrible about the whole experience. I still regret it. I still can’t think of myself as having accomplished anything because it feels more like I survived years of torture than it feels like I worked and received recompense for that work. I think about being in school and I just want to cry. I’m so, so angry about it, and to know now that the difference between being able to function academically and being a hopeless, perpetual fuckup hemorrhaging money that didn’t exist was a once-daily pill makes me want to curl up and fucking die.

That’s a feeling that’s exacerbated by what I brought up in my previous post (>writing). I feel like I can’t write the way I used to. And yeah, duh, I’m writing now, and that’s not what I mean. I’m just shitting out thoughts as they come, I’m not composing anything, and I’m able to do that because I’m taking a drug that flips the lightswitch on the “pay attention lmao” part of my brain on for 13 hours at a time. And writing is one of the very few things about my life I feel like makes me worthwhile as a human. And by worthwhile I mean worth keeping around. And if I can’t do it the whole college experience, which I already conceive of a waste, was even more pointless than it was before. And that makes me feel pretty bad.

What was this post about?

Oh, right.

So I don’t like myself. I don’t think I’m a good person, or valuable. And I feel like those are some important factors when it comes to courtship. And I used to be on this drug that killed my libido, so I was okay with ignoring that. But now... I don’t know why this feels like an illicit admission (maybe because it’s so contrary to where my head has been at for so many years)... I kind of want it. The intimacy. Closeness. Sharing. That kind of stuff. Oh, and sex I guess. But I can do without that, and have for some time. I’m holding out for my ten-year anniversary, so I can write a book called “the ten year drought.” idk what that book would be about but it seems like a good title.

Some of this is a reaction to my newly switched-on brain, I think. Where before I’ve just been confronted by alienation when I thought about being close to other people, I dunno, it seems both possible and desirable now. And because none of my close friendships are built on any kind of emotional connection, I don’t have that in my life. And combined with my awakened libido, it seems like, well, why the hell shouldn’t I try and find that sort of connection with a romantic partner? And maybe it’s been so long that I don’t remember what it feels like to burn myself on the stove any more, and it seems like that might be fun, you know, to burn the fuck out of my hand now and again.

SPEAKING OF AWAKENED LIBIDOS, this is when I’m going to talk about the gooey stuff. I told you it was coming (ayy).

You might be forgiven for assuming that when I considered myself de facto asexual, that meant I abstained from self-manipulation. But no. Lord, no. Instead, it just became a chore.

Let my try and explain. Turning off the red neon sex light in my head didn’t stop the other physiological consequences of orgasm or lack thereof. For those readers who are not men, you may not be aware (or may not have put two-and-two together) that semen doesn’t just go nowhere if it doesn’t, uh, get used. There is, I think, some point (look I’m not a scientist) where after a while of infrequent emissions the little foreman down there in the prostate tells the factory workers at the testes to quit making so much product it’s not going anywhere, but fuck me if I know when that is. Because until that point it’s gotta go somewhere. It’s gotta go somewhere. If I were to cease, uh, disposing of it in a regular fashion, on my own schedule and terms, it would find its own damn way of releasing. Usually this happens during a dream of some kind. There are some problems with this:

1.) mess. You must now wash your sheets and bedclothes. Good job.

2.) disruption to sleep for the above reason. Sleep is important to me. More important before the stimulants, I guess, because I wake up 4-5 times a night anyway now.

3.) disturbing dreams. Sometimes they’re fun disturbing. Most of the time they aren’t. What amateur dream theory I understand is from my meager reading of Freud and that guy was full of shit about a lot of stuff, but this makes sense so I still believe it an will repeat it here: your id, aka the triforce of power, just wants release from tension. Which is not to say it doesn’t want tension. I wants the tension, and the release. Which, according to Freud, is why people have dreams about death; the lead up and then the death itself is the ultimate tension and release fantasy your brain can construct. And the penultimate tension/release is sex. Duh. But the id isn’t picky. Id doesn’t believe in rules or norms or values or anything like that. Id just wants its release. And, honestly, if whatever strange brew it cooks up in the dark recesses of your skull upset your conscious, rational mind (your ego, the triforce of courage), well, fine, cause that makes the tension (and thus the release) stronger, and because fuck your ego, id hates that guy.

4.) As actual, physical releases go (i.e. not psychological, as discussed above) this is a pretty garbage one. Look, not every orgasm is going to be good, But this one is fucking soaked in shame and disappointment. And fuck if I know if this is what it’s like for other people, but I get just a little lucid at the end of a wet dream. Like, there’s a QTE segment, where shit slows down, and I can let the sequence play out or I can press ‘a’ to try and prevent it from occurring. Hint: pressing a does not work. But I don’t know that when I’m fucking asleep. So I press ‘a’ like a fucking idiot and ruin my own shame-dream orgasm and end up with sticky sheets anyway. This is not fun. No part of this is fun.

Now, I think I’ve mentioned here before, I have problems with dreams anyway. Every few months (and I always think, well, surely this is the last time, I must now be free of them) I have a dream about my ex. And if I time this wrong, the dream gets weird and sexual. A dream about my ex is guaranteed to fuck up my day at least a little, and a sex dream about my ex is just throwing my whole week away. Thanks id, you little shit.

So, that’s a reason not to do things that way.

There are some others. For one, having an orgasm feels pretty good, at least if you do it right. And at various times in my life I’ve been starved of good feelings. That the orgasm is free and readily available (for the most part) is what leads it to being such an addictive drug. And afterwards, a man (I have somewhat independently verified this with others of my sex) has some beneficial psychological effects; it’s also a way to regulate your hormones, and relieve stress and anxiety. And let me get this in here, when a man does without orgasm, at least in my experience, reality warps to compensate. Like, suddenly, day 3+ of no orgasm, skirts get shorter. They just do. Suddenly women are tying back their hair, and their shirts just don’t cover anything anymore. And everybody is wearing leggings. And suddenly people are smiling at you and blushing and they smell good and their eyelashes are so damn long.

AND I HATE THIS PART. THE TENSION IS UNBEARABLE. It’s unbearable, maybe, because of what I’ve written above--that I have internalized the belief that some things are not for me. And maybe, actually I’m pretty sure, that this is why men chase women. Because, unless they are doing what I do, the whole damn world is fluttering eyelashes and jorts. And they can’t fucking think about anything else. Hence, the war. Because either you do something about it or life is a sex-crazed fever dream.

This is how I feel about desire. It feels like affliction. I know that’s messed up. I know I’m messed up.

And when I was taking that ssri, I wasn’t attracted to people, even when this happened. Skirts didn’t get shorter. Skin wasn’t suddenly everywhere. I just felt awful. It just felt like I was in the hallway in Inception and the van was turning over and over. It was like what eating is like now that I take a stimulant; you know you’re hungry because you’re being mean to everyone and everything everyone says to you feels like a personal slight. And so you go get some food because you need to eat and it just looks like dogshit and it smells like dogshit and you put it in your mouth and you chew and you’re mad about it and you feel like a fucking chimp in a tophat dancing for a vaudeville audience. It sucks. It’s not cool.

But back to what I was saying about regulating one’s orgasms. I know that if you are a woman, the rules and boundaries are different, but men have a limited number of orgasms available to them in a given time period. See the little foreman and the factory workers.

Given this I don’t think it’s unreasonable to conclude that frequent (this I will leave to the imagination), managed orgasms are good policy.

Good policy, as anyone familiar with governments will well understand, has a way of becoming bad practice when it intersects with the real world. And in this case, the reality of the situation is porn.

I’ll delve into this some other time but for now let it be said that porn is horrible. And It isn’t necessary, in the strictest sense. But I found it expedient in my former circumstances; i.e. perpetually single and with a poor libido. Masturbating, as I have said above, became a chore. As in, “well now it’s X:XX o’clock and I guess I should get down to business,” even while I was also thinking “I really don’t want to do this, this is gross, I am gross.”

And while in another person that might be enough to stop the whole process, not with me. I dunno why. Sue me. Typing it out makes it seem like it was something I could just choose not to do, and sometimes I did, but most of the time I didn’t.

Now, porn is a bottomless endeavor. I had a professor who I always thought was kind of a shithead talk about porn, for men at least, as being an expression of the fantasy that any woman is available to a man.

This is problematic for a bunch of reasons, but I didn’t invent the primate brain, I just have one, and it doesn’t really do what I want it to most of the time. Or like ever.

So one does not find a quantum of pornography and decide that, yep, that’s that, this is all I need. Again, we’re talking about that fucker id (and I think here there’s even less basis for Freud’s model of personality but fuck it I’m on a roll and also not particularly educated) and he doesn’t care about your rules. He just wants more. And again, id doesn’t want just the mere release, id wants tension before the release. Id wants the lead up as much as the actual orgasm, if not more (as they tend to inform each other; this is true as far as I can tell for both men and women but I’m not an expert). So the male experience of pornography (this I have also somewhat independently verified) is one of seeking and evaluating. This is, as far as I can tell, what tabbed browsing was invented for. One looks, and looks, and looks (it is about 90% visual) for something that has that certain spark to it. There is no describing the spark. Whatever you have found either suits or it doesn’t. I’m sure if Freud were here with me he’d have something to say about what people look for and why but that guy is fucking dead so fuck him. There is a great deal of quite automatic selection that goes on.

Yes, after the fact, one may find and describe patterns to the searching. Without descending too far into the vulgar universe of pornography and its associated vernacular, I’ll try and give some examples. I am attracted to faces that have robust lower lips, dark hair, and perhaps a gap in the teeth. I don’t know why. I just do. It’s just what I like. Those are things I think are fairly specific to me; I know my friends like other things in their faces.

And now that I’ve found some nice video of a dark-haired, gap-toothed, robust-lipped girl folding her laundry and pairing her socks, I’m good right? Wrong. Depending on the strength of the suitability of this video, it might remain useful (i.e. functional i.e. qualified for release) for like three or four uses, and then one day I’ll look at it and the evaluative bit of my id will say “nope lol” and I’ll skip over it. Sometimes, and this too is common, in months or years following, I might remember (by association) this video of the sock-pairing and check it out again, and it might have regained some of its suitability. And this is the mystery of the brain. I can’t explain why something regains its power this way.

But I know pretty well why it loses it, and that’s the goddamn dopamine circuit in the brain. There are a few qualities of the primate brain that I think are truly evil, in the sense that they are the genesis of evil behavior--not callousness, not antisocial action, not violence, evil, evil in the sense of wrong action which the brain does not recognize as wrong action--and they are, in no particular order, rationalization to reduce cognitive dissonance, pattern recognition, and the diminishing returns of the reward circuit. If you look at those and think, “gee axiom those are the reasons humans have been able to do anything at all,” then congrats, you’ve managed to realize what the Buddha meant when he said that existence is suffering, and that it is a man’s own mind, and not his enemy or his foe, which lures him to evil ways. I wonder if it’s worth it sometimes. We should have stayed in the trees, maybe. We sure as shit shouldn’t have invented the internet.

But I digress. What I’m saying here is that the reward circuit and the amorality of the id is what drives the obsessive searching involved in pornography. It’s why the addict, and I guess I’m an addict, spends so much time looking relative to the time spent using. Watching people have sex tricks our monkey brain, and the monkey brain gets tired of the same things day in and day out, particularly when the pleasing release of brain chemicals is so dramatic.

The ease of obtaining the pleasing brain chemicals (once a man gets to my age, he is likely to be quite practiced at obtaining an orgasm in one way or another) and the swiftness with which a quantum of pornography becomes tarnished with regards to suitability lead the consumer of pornography down greater and greater rabbit holes seeking stimulation. And, if the user is paying attention, he will find that this isn’t at all necessary. But, and I can’t speak for anyone else here, I know I’m never paying attention when I masturbate. Thinking ruins the experience. RUINS IT. Thinking leads me to analyze what I’m watching and there’s nothing more boner-killing to me than thinking about the clashing figures I’m watching as people. And yes, that’s horrible. And yes, that means I should stop. Because if I object to what I’m seeing morally, then I should, should apply that to my actions in consuming that media. BUT I DON’T AND I DON’T KNOW ANYONE WHO DOES THAT, EVER, ABOUT ANYTHING, INCLUDING BUT CERTAINLY NOT LIMITED TO THE CONSUMPTION OF PORN.

And that’s why humans are garbage.

When I say that it isn’t at all necessary what I mean is that the entire exercise of pornography is extraneous. Pornography is not required for orgasm. It’s just expedient. It’s just easy. It’s just what men, and me, have learned to do because it feels good, it’s pleasing, and it’s (in the sense outlined above RE: regulation) necessary to living.

And here’s the problem with all of that: there’s no alternative. I mean, okay, there is. There’s a bunch. Like, I could just use my imagination. But that’s like saying “dude you could just think about a story, reading is for idiots,” and to that I say, well, yeah, I could. But if it’s just me, if there’s nobody else, then the story I come up with has no purpose. It has no boundaries. There is no reason to present narrative challenges or to think about word selection because it isn’t a story if it’s in my head, it’s just feelings, it’s just ideas, it’s amorphous and ephemeral. It’s the same as anything else; it’s even the same as an orgasm in the greater sense. Yeah you can do it yourself. But it’s way, way nicer for someone to do it for you.

But the niceness of it is an illusion. It’s a total illusion. Because I can achieve, and have achieved, many an orgasm without the assistance of another person. And, at the moment, at least, it’s not like it’s hard to do that, at all. More on this in a second.

But for me, and for people who for one reason or another have this in common with me, the most simple, occam’s razorish approach--to go find another person to do this stuff with--seems, or is, completely unattainable, because of whatever real or imagined physical or emotional problems we perceive within ourselves.

And because nobody taught me this shit. Nobody. When my parents talked to me about sex, they were like “hey axiom let me tell you about sex” and I was like “I mean, if it’ll make you feel better,” and they were all “when two people love each other blah blah blah,” and I was like “kay whatevs,” and in my mind I was thinking “this love thing is not for you, this sex thing is not for you, this world is not for you” because that’s how I feel about everything good or nice, especially the good or nice things that have the potential to be horrible and damaging.

And there was no class in school where the teacher said “look axiom, here’s the thing about orgasms and hormones and the way it makes your body feel and the way you’re going to want to act,” and there was no teacher who said “this is a safe and healthy way to approach being with another person, and this is a safe and healthy way to approach being with yourself.”

And I sure as shit never experienced a setting where someone said “these things you feel don’t make you a monster,” and even if they had, I wouldn’t believe them, because rape exists, and because abusive relationships exist, and because people fight and get divorced and are shitty to each other. Instead, all I feel is shame. I feel ashamed about sex, I feel ashamed about orgasms, I feel ashamed the other parts of me, and all I want to do is conceal them. This is perhaps more unique to me, specifically; see >writing again, and perhaps for that matter every post on this goddamn shitfest of a tumblr. AND NONE OF THAT STOPS ME FROM WANTING IT.

So I’m driven, I think like many people are, to conceal my behavior about sex and masturbation and orgasms. And because it’s hidden, it gets thrown into a pile with a bunch of other hidden things, and that’s why pornography is so awful, why it’s so predatory and nefarious, because it’s hiding there where you can only find it if you’re hiding, and because nobody is looking, or rather, everyone is pretending not to look, then it becomes evil. There is no regulation of pornography (well, except for laws about ages of consent and whatnot), there is structure in place to teach me how to use it responsibly, and there is no structure in place to teach people how to make it responsibly, either. It’s just a hole where damaged, hurting people get thrown into, and there’s sadists down there waiting to continue to damage and hurt you, and to keep you from leaving. And yeah, there’s money there, and that’s part of the problem, but it wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so vile and exploitative. It’s possible, and I say this as a truly brainwashed capitalist, to make money and still do the right thing. It is possible. It just isn’t possible to make as much money as you would if you were doing the wrong thing. And nobody makes that choice. It’s not even a choice, really.

This is what’s been eating me up about orgasms, at least while I was taking the ssri. But I stopped. And now, not only is my libido recovering, but, uh, the... how to put this delicately (as if I’ve been delicate so far)... nerve connections in my genitalia, which previously (because of the ssri) took a lot of precise stimulation to coax into orgasm, now do so essentially instantly. I got no idea how long this will last.

None of my previous habits work or make sense. A lot of the above is predicated on there being a build up. Mr. Id likes his tension and release, like I said. The more tension, the stronger the release.

And look, alright, spoilers or whatever, this is going to be graphic. But I used to be able to get hard and keep it that way for a while without achieving orgasm. I’ll try and illustrate: lets say masturbating is like riding a bike down a hill into a lake. After years of frustration on this ssri, wherein I would get on the bike and ride down the hill part way and then have to stop because of a flat tire, then looking wistfully at the lake at the bottom and being angry at myself for not knowing how to perform basic bike maintenance, I not only figured out how to make it all the way down the hill (under rather specific circumstances; like, the bike needs to follow this path, and there needs to be some music, and I’ve got to choose a hill that has enough clover or whatever) I got good at, once I’d neared the lake at the bottom, veering away from the lake and riding up to the top again. True, the lake at the bottom was the eventual goal, but the sensation of the wind as I rode down the hill were also nice, and nice enough themselves that I would get on my bike just to ride downhill sometimes, over and over again, and only splash in the lake when I had something else I needed to do.

This is what the (>smut) post is about, really. There was a lot of hill riding there and not any splashing, and, as mentioned above, this really twisted my perception of reality around. Really, really badly.

And when I say years of frustration above, well, I’ll just tell you what I mean. I first started taking an ssri (not the one I ended up with by they all act pretty similarly) I was dating my ex. And I was like 19, and there was not a lot of splashing going on for me. There was, I hope, for her. And we certainly did a lot of bike riding, in various configurations. But, I dunno. It felt bad not to splash. Like, really bad. For both of us, I think. I felt like I was broken. And she felt like I wasn’t into her. And neither of us knew how to talk about it or to fix it. I’m not going to say that’s what happened to us. I know it isn’t. But it didn’t help. It hurt, a lot.

But now I don’t ride down the hill. I splash, yes, but it happens as soon as I get on the bike. It’s like I’m 14 and I’ve never ridden a bike before (lol 14, axiom? you never rode a bike until you were 14?) and I get on the bike and I push down on a pedal and I fucking crash and burn right there at the top of the hill, and the sprinklers turn on and I’m lying there in a heap getting sprinkled. It sucks. Well, it sucks in the sense that I’m used to enjoying the ride down the hill, sometimes over and over again. And I’m used to splashing into the lake when I’m done.

But there ain’t no hill no more. And there ain’t no lake.

The upside is that I’m done in like 15 minutes, even when I really don’t want to be. And MAYBE THAT’S WHAT’S NORMAL. I don’t mean the, uh, sensitivity, or my sense of balance or whatever I’m supposed to be comparing things with in my over-labored, pointless bike-riding metaphor. I mean maybe it’s normal to want to go for a ride and get a little wet, and then be done with it pretty quick and move on to something else.

I want, I want to be able to do this. I want it not to feel deeply unsatisfying, because even though riding around on the hill over and over again and splashing into the lake is satisfying it’s full of such dreadful moral problems and it’s a waste of my motherfucking time and it isn’t necessary and, honestly, I should just find someone who wants to ride a tandem bike with me, and even if I crash real quick, maybe that someone won’t mind and will keep riding with me for a while until both of us get to the lake at the bottom.

I just don’t think that will happen to me. I just don’t think it’s real or possible for me.

And I don’t know what the fuck to do with all my time that I used to spend riding. I’d say “well axiom you can write now :^)” but all I can seem to write is unfocused, rambling nonsense like this here blog post.

FUCK ME (PLEASE FUCK ME) I HATE THIS (THIS IS WHAT I AM) I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE (I NEVER WANT TO BE WITH ANYONE AGAIN)

Stop the ride I want to get off.

[workreveal-blog]

Which laptop to buy? Windows or Mac?

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Which laptop to buy? Windows or Mac?

I am getting my son a brand new laptop for Christmas. My price range is around £500. He’s adamant that he needs a 15in HP PC – he gained be lugging it everywhere – however, I’ve also been looking at Dell and Asus ZenBooks. My query is: Can I future-proof my buy to take him through his GCSEs to A degrees, or ought to I only move for an access-level PC with the view of changing it in a couple of years? So which laptop should you buy? Windows or Mac?

His usage could usually be Microsoft Workplace, web browsing and watch YouTube videos. From my headache-inducing searches of numerous forums and guides, I assume my simple requirements might be a Center i5, 8GB and SSD (solid-country pressure) garage. Marie

Hardly ever any of nowadays’s laptops are upgradeable, and the variety receives smaller all the time. While laptops fee £2,000 to £4,000, it makes sense to provide upgrade options. When they price around £a hundred and fifty to £six hundred, people usually update them rather than upgrade them.

laptop

humans additionally upgrade smartphones, fitness bands, virtual watches, compact digital cameras and other gadgets within the same rate variety.

The folks who are buying laptops are usually looking for the pleasant feasible performance for gaming, video editing, computer-aided design and comparable programs. They need to (or “intending to”) upgrading their systems every 12 months or so to improve performance and keep time, which commonly saves cash. Ordinary improvements encompass more memory, higher graphics playing cards and larger SSDs (strong-country drives).

Corporate IT departments may also look for upgradeable laptops because they are less complicated to keep. Massive businesses will buy loads or even thousands of same machines as it manner they don’t ought to inventory a variety of spares to do strolling maintenance. They can also cannibalise broken machines to keep their fleets jogging. The Dell Latitude E5470, which I reviewed at ZDNet.Com, is a high instance. However, it’s out of your price range.

Customer laptops are designed to be thinner, lighter and less expensive, so reminiscence and garage chips are regularly soldered at once to the motherboard. They don’t have detachable backs or “get right with entry to hatches” due to the fact corporations don’t want users messing around internal.

If you need to realise if a computer can be upgraded, attempt matters. First, test Essential’s website to look if it offers memory or SSD enhancements for that accurate model. 2d, search for and download the pics carrier guide in PDF format. This may describe the way to exchange components which are changeable.

Meet Clevo

One exception is Clevo, which makes laptops that can be assembled and customised via resellers consisting of Pc Expert Ltd within the Uk. (Sager sells Clevo laptops under its very own logo name.) Many Clevo customers are gamers seeking out high-end specs, or techie Linux customers. However, you could get a fifteen.6in Clevo UltraNote III inside your finances.

The bottom UltraNote III costs £357 with an Intel Celeron processor and 2GB of reminiscence. Upgrading to an Intel Center i5-6200U, 8GB of memory and 120GB Samsung 750 SSD, at the same time as downgrading the optical pressure to a read/write DVD, pushes the charge as much as £528. Upgrading the standard 1366 x 768-pixel display to a far better 1920 x 1080-pixel IPS display screen would add £35.

In sum, you may get an upgradeable PC with the spec you want for £563, which is a chunk greater than your finances, however, consists of a 3-yr assurance. You may get it beneath budget through switching to a Center i3-6100U, which brings it down to £461.

The UltraNote III can manage a Center i7-6500U processor, 16GB of reminiscence, a 2TB SSD and a Blu-ray writer, so there are lots of improving alternatives, although you have to speak those with Pc Specialist before buying.

Buying a laptop

But your son isn’t going to need any improvements, except he begins doing some extreme gaming or video-modifying. Windows 10 and Microsoft Workplace (to be had loose to maximum students) are noticeably lightweight packages, and nowadays’s processors haven’t any troubles playing films.

Laptop Computers and all-in-ones In case you don’t want portability, do you have got a room for a Computer Pc or an all-in-one? Laptop tower systems are far less complicated to upgrade or restore than laptops. You may quickly alternate your Desktop Computer’s display, update the pix card, upload several drives, or maybe exchange the motherboard and the processor.

Tower systems are typically faster because the processor doesn’t ought to run in a restricted area or use low strength to extend battery lifestyles. They also remaining longer: I purchased my remaining computers in 2005 and 2011, and I expect the latter to the final at least another three years or greater.

All-in-ones also have ergonomic advantages over laptops, and larger monitors, although a maximum of them aren’t easy to upgrade. See mine in advance solution, which all-in-one Laptop need to I purchase for home use?

HP computer desire

The computer that maximum closely matches your request is the 15.6in HP Pavilion 15-au074sa, which is going for £479.99 at Currys Pc International, although you’ll be capable of finding it elsewhere. This has a Center i5-6200U, 8GB of reminiscence and a 256GB SSD. Its essential disadvantage is its confined 1366 x 768-pixel display screen, even though it’s now not untypical for this class of machine.

The Pavilion 15-au074sa isn’t upgradeable, but you likely gained need to improve it. Many college students and commercial enterprise customers still have laptops with 4GB of memory and traditional hard drives, and very few customers have greater than 8GB. Many casual customers simplest have 2GB.

Somebody who spends £999.99 on a thirteen.3in HP Spectre x360 will even get a Middle i5-6200U, 8GB of memory and 256GB SSD, although the Spectre has different blessings. As an example, it has a far better 1920 x 1080-pixel IPS contact display screen, and a harder, thinner and more elegant design. What it won’t do is run Microsoft Word pretty faster.

Whether your HP Pavilion 15 will need replacing has much less to do with the specification than its sturdiness, and the way properly it’s looked after. Careless youngsters can damage a laptop along with this in 12 months, via repeatedly selecting it up by using the display screen – which breaks the hinges – or dropping it on hard ground. If nicely cared for, a Core i5 laptop needs to live to tell the tale A-stages and university use.

Inexpensive options There are, of course, lots of cheaper options. For a few examples, see my current solution, Which computer ought to I buy my YouTube-friendly 14-yr-antique? Reasonably-priced laptops have a whole lot slower processors, simplest 4GB of memory and rotating hard drives so that they may be no longer necessarily higher price. However, a machine including an Asus X540LA with a Middle i3-5005U, 4GB of memory and 1TB hard drive (£305) might be powerful sufficient for maximum college students.

If you want to recollect a disposable entry-level choice, examine the HP Pavilion x2 removable. This has a quad-Middle Intel Atom Z8300, 2GB of memory and 64GB of eMMC Flash reminiscence for £219.ninety five. Try to avoid models with 32GB of storage because Windows 10 is probably going to be re-mounted twice a 12 months.

Windows laptop

The Pavilion x2 is an ultra-transportable that doubles as a 10in tablet has a usable keyboard and feels durable for the charge. It’s my first concept When each person asks for a Reasonably-priced laptop for a kid.

  That’s an entirely uncommon question these days. However, the stock solution stays the same: choose the one that does what you need for a fee you are inclined to pay. Because you don’t appear to have any particular requirements, and also you haven’t given me a budget, you’ll decide. Your money, your preference.

However, human beings tend to like what they know, and they are averse to change. In case you are “an entirely reasonable Computer person” then switching to Mac OS X might contain a few relearning. (Of path, it’s the identical for Mac users going the alternative manner, which – no matter your daughter’s claim – a few do.)

Switching charges

If you have been beginning from scratch, you’d have nothing to lose. As a Computer user, However, switching includes giving up whatever Windows expertise you have got and investing time in gaining knowledge of a new device. Whether this matter relies upon on how nicely Windows.

The switching fees consist of locating new programs to replace something you’re the use of on Windows and uploading your old data into your new machine. This could save you groups from switching, and it may make lifestyles tough for hobbyists with unique hobby software that Mac’s lack.

Then again, it can be a non-problem for most typical consumers, due to the trend closer to web offerings. The more stuff you do online in a browser, the simpler it is to interchange platforms.

There’s additionally a financial value to switching, because the popular Home windows gadget is a lot cheaper than the average Mac, specifically In case you component within the cost of AppleCare. Of route, the more money does buy you a faster, higher-made machine, as it ought to. However you may be purchasing capabilities you don’t need, or can’t truly manage to pay for. A £one hundred fifty-£350 computer might meet your desires; However, Apple doesn’t promote laptops at those prices.