#it's absolutely for nothing but a +1 in some weird vanity quality

[c-schroed]

My favourite activity during Neathy winter is to prep poor Lacre-born copys of my characters for the inevatable "Frosty the Snowman" type of end that will come for them. In part because the melanchly of their story is so darn beautiful.

But it's also because, for me, the texts that one gets when dealing with Lacre are some of the best texts in all of Fallen London.

O the flood.

[yoificfinder]

Hey love, hope you are doing well ✨ I was wondering if you have any recommendations regarding side characters (personality analysis, friendship etc.) I absolutely adore all the side characters in the YOIverse however there are not many fics revolving around them so if you know any good ones, it'd be great!! Thank you so much in advance 💟

Hey dear nonnie! This took a long time, I hope you're still here. I combed through ao3 to find fics I remember that fit your request and discovered new gems along the way! Many of these are not popular/underrated but I guarantee that they're good reads so I hope you (and anyone else who finds this) enjoy! If only for that reason alone, I really hope this rec list becomes one of the most popular posts in this blog (I would really appreciate a reblog!) so these fics/authors can receive more love! Plus this is the most exhaustive and time-consuming rec list I've made so far (but I still feel that I missed a lot so other recs are welcome!).

Without further ado, here are some great YOI side-characters' stories in canonverse:

(Don't) Give A Damn by @forochel [T, 9K]

Mari, through the years.

an open door by tripcyclone [G, 8K]

Lilia never wanted children of her own, but caring for Victor gives her a glimpse into the life she chose to pass by.

Beautiful In Knowing by @val-creative [T, 1K]

Sara knew she was a girl, even if nobody else did or believed her.

She ordered Michele to call her "Lady Sara" from now on. He would roll his eyes and grumble, but never attempt to misgender her. She liked "Sara" — it meant "lady, princess, noblewoman". And she would never go back to her deadname.

by any other name by iguanastevens [T, 2K]

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Yuri's life as told by the names he's given; or, how Yuri's names direct his life.

Feathers on the Ice by Kiranokira / @kyashin [E, 79K]

After dinner and a bath and quality hamster time, snuggled in bed cocooned within his eight entirely necessary pillows, Phichit indulges himself and investigates Seung-gil's hashtag. There isn’t much from Seung-gil himself, but Seung-gil's fans are many and dedicated. Amid the photos of Seung-gil at competitions or practicing and the few candid shots of Seung-gil in airports or out on the streets of Seoul, there’s a very recent professional video uploaded by user andjoy_studio.

Phichit clicks on it, and his life changes.

fermata by perbe [T, 3K]

When one is patchwork of growth plates and bruises, it is inevitable that one must admire boys with words a size too big, as if they know down to their bones that they are meant for something greater.

I used to burn for you, Otabek thinks.

(A character study on Otabek's reaction to his placement at the Grand Prix Finals.)

Go On Ahead by @kiaronna [G, 2K]

Sour, grouchy Yakov didn’t understand sparkly purple skate outfits or wanting to eat your weight in sweets or having crushes on boys.

But Viktor did.

Gossips, Chinese whispers and misunderstandings by womanroaring [M, 8K]

Series of short stories relating to how certain (often perfectly innocent) scenes in Yuri On Ice would have looked from the outside. And just the gossip and stuff that would have surrounded them.

I am Yuri Plisetsky by rinsled05 / @dreaming-fireflies [M, 1K]

Who is Yuri Plisetsky?

He's not Agape.

Not a “prima donna” ballerina.

And definitely no Russian fairy.

No, Yuri Plisetsky is an angry, loud, in-your-face, Russian tiger who will take to the ice and give you a brilliant gold-worthy performance you will never forget.

... a piece on Yuri's rationale for skating to "Welcome to the Madness". Rated for the actual foul-mouthed language in the story itself, courtesy of one Yuri Plisetsky.

if friends were flowers i'd pick you by windupbirdgirl / @tanpopori [G, 4K]

Yuuko thinks of Yuuri’s skating, beautiful and flawed. She thinks of Yuuri sitting with the girls instead of the other boys at practice. She thinks of Yuuri and Viktor, the posters of him he asks her to buy him for birthdays. The posters he wouldn't ask anyone else to buy.

“Oh, Yuuri.” She bites her nails, ruining the carefully applied polish. She doesn’t care at all.

Sitting in that tiny bedroom, she makes a big decision.

if love is king, who wears the crown by @crollalanzaa [G, 1K]

“Second is seen as nothing,” Christophe had derided.

“But that moment you glide onto the ice, that hush of the audience, and that expectation, isn’t that worth something?”

“You speak as if you know. You used to skate?"

Past tense. It still stung, even if it was expected.

Minako knows exactly what it's like to be at the top of your game, and she remembers the descent just as clearly.

if she wants me by renaissance [G, 6K]

Hiroko and Minako, then and now.

kagura by night by seventhstar / @pencilwalla [T, 1K]

The world around her is like the mountains.

A mortal lifespan is narrow; mortals watch the mountain’s unchanging faces, unravaged by the same measure of time that takes a human from dust to dust, and think them immortal in comparison. But stone erodes, just as flesh decays. It just takes longer.

If she watches long enough, everything changes. Languages drift until all the words she learned before are meaningless. Technology changes until she ceases to believe in magic because human ingenuity is more infinite than the stars. What is beautiful, what is polite, what is wrong, what is right—time, given its way, reshapes all.

But Minako’s body remains as it has always been. That’s why she loves to dance, she supposes; it’s the one thing time cannot take from her.

Katsudon by @azriona [G, 8K]

Hiroko doesn’t need to see to coat pork cutlets in egg and panko. She has made this dish for her family for over thirty years; she’ll make it another thirty, if she’s lucky.

Now she makes it for Yuuri and Victor as they fly home from Barcelona, with silver around their necks and gold around their fingers.

keep me steady as we go by strikinglight [G, 3K]

When Isabella stood and crossed the room to where he sat she saw her notebook open in his lap, turned to the last page of their to-do list, all but three items crossed off with less than a month to the wedding date. License. Ceremony. Everything after. She saw the angle of his gaze, too, not on the words but straight ahead, staring blank and glassy and brittle into some invisible place she still wasn’t sure she could follow him to, yet. And yet she had been the one who’d promised to try—and to keep promising, forever and forever.

Kooks by BoxWineConfessions [G, 3K]

Mari clasps her right hand across her left hand and rests them both atop her growing stomach. “I guess you’re just lucky that your father, I mean your other father, my brother-“ Mari giggles. “God, it all sounds so weird, doesn’t it? Do you care? Do you care that we’re all so fucked up and we don’t care at all?” Mari laughs again. It’s all she can do when she hurts this much, and wants a cigarette this much, but can’t stop smiling despite the fact that her body seems to hate her so much. “Well he means the world to me. That’s why I have you.”

Living in the Maybe by @adrianners [T, 6K]

It wasn’t hard to spot a 180cm platinum blond in Fukuoka International Airport. Especially when he was the only person wearing sunglasses. Indoors. At night.

Mari picks Viktor up at the airport when he returns from Moscow. Without Yuuri there to play his usual role of interpreter, they learn to communicate around their linguistic, cultural, and personal barriers.

post tenebras lux by @alykapediaaa [T, 1K]

“Which skater would you say has inspired your skating the most?”

The question catches him unaware, so much so that he’s rendered speechless. It’s only when he sees Yakov lean towards the microphone to answer in his stead that Yuri blurts out the first name that comes to mind.

“Yuuri Katsuki.”

The Best Men by @kiaronna [Not Rated, 5K]

Just as Viktor lives to surprise, Christophe Giacometti lives to scandalize, to sensationalize. But innocent little Phichit Chulanont is proving to be an impossible victim.

OR: where Christophe tries very hard to get under one Thai skater’s skin, and instead finds himself all over the younger skater’s Instagram feed and wrapped around his finger.

the city of bridges by @stammiviktor [T, 5K]

After three flights, a train ride, and dinner at the Katsukis' table, Yakov finally sees Hasetsu through Viktor's eyes.

The First Cut by BoxWineConfessions [E, 27K]

People made divorce seem like this long drawn out and ugly process, but it really wasn’t. He bought the town home for Isabella as a gift, and so it was hers. The flat down town would go to him, as it was closer to the rink. They paid off her medical school loans last fall, so that was done too. He had a few cars, which she unanimously agreed were his to keep, so long as she could keep her Corvette. She changed her vanity plate from Dr. Leroy to Dr. Yang. He saw it parked out front of the courthouse.

trials of Coach Yakov series by @naraht [T and M, 40K]

Summaries of fics in the series:

1. Forced to share a bed with Victor at the Sochi Grand Prix Final, Yakov learns more than he wants to know.

2. Yakov attempts to prepare Yuri for his transition to Seniors. Yuri doesn't care to listen.

3. No sex while you're competing – this is Yakov's rule. His athletes often have other ideas.

4. In 1980, Yakov Feltsman is the USSR's skating hero. At a dull official reception, he defends his loyalty to the motherland – and makes the acquaintance of a beautiful young dancer from the Bolshoi.

5. In which both Victor and Yakov have to remake themselves – Victor after his first Olympic gold and Yakov after his divorce.

Tz'ror by athoroughlybakedpotato [T, 3K]

Yakov changes much slower than the times do, but steadiness is not always a bad thing.

---

ETA - Other people's rec:

curtain of lies by @mandolinearts

JJ's Bizarre Adventure by Falahime

Landscapes of Spring and Summer by @myyoitrashblog

The Melancholy of Georgi Popovich by Falahime

+ a lot more recs on this reblog!!

Thanks for the rec, @vilchen, @genuine-firefly, @adrianners, and @kaleidodreams! ❤

[moviediary]

She’s All That (1999)

Rich and popular makes a bet with his “friend”, whose personality is pretty much summed up by the fact that he has frosted tips, that he can turn any girl into the prom queen after getting dumped by his longtime girlfriend. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I love this movie, but every time I watch it I can’t help but be amazed at how absurd it is. I mean, cliché plot aside, every individual piece that makes up this 1 hour and 30 minute ode to the individual is completely insane. What universe does this take place in? What high school do they go to?

That being said, I really like the opening shots to this movie, it definitely gives you a good introduction to the main character. Laney Boggs. She’s political and messy and 100% down to her bones an art student. She isn’t afraid to be dark.

In contrast I feel like the first meeting of the main love interest really doesn’t set him up to be who the writers want you to think he is. I mean he rolls up to school in a bright yellow Jeep with a Mr. Prez vanity plate. Then you see his shoes when he gets out of the car, fuckin’ ugly ass leather loafers. I’m sorry I know this means nothing I just have a hard time believing this jock wears these fucking shoes they’re so god damn ugly.

Every moment that introduces him makes it seem like he should be the villain, he has pretty much no redeeming qualities that we can see besides his wit (barely) and good looks. I just don’t understand why we’re supposed to like him, this is Sixteen Candles all over again. Hot rich guy, is an asshole, for some reason I still root for and love him. How does that work? What makes these characters so grossly likable? I mean, his name is Zack. That alone raises a red flag for me. That’s a frat boy asshole name. Zacks are friends of Kyle that’s all I’m saying.

Once we get through his painfully douchey introduction we get introduced to Zack’s equally douchey friends frosted tips and Gus from psych. (don’t ask me what their actual names are it’s not important anyway, that is essentially their personalities) The first thing we hear is them talking about summer break and their vacations, further driving home how rich they are and how weird it is that adults write movies about teenagers having gratuitous amounts of sex with adults. Then Zach tries unsuccessfully to say something philosophical about them graduating soon (I have to keep reminding myself that he’s supposed to have like the 4th highest GPA in their class) They then meet the most 90s girls I have ever seen. Who I guess are supposed to be popular? One thing I do like is how diverse all the characters are, they don’t all look exactly the same which I feel tends to be a problem with high school movies.

So we finally meet the “popular girl” Taylor Vaughn, Zack’s girlfriend and she immediately breaks up with him (which honestly is probably a good idea anyway) and his “friends” fucking laugh at him which he really had coming. I mean. Look at his hair. 

This launches what is probably one of my favorite narrated flashback scenes of all time, not because the topic is particularly interesting but because I love the way they have Zach interrupt her inside of the flashback. It’s a very small addition that really gives the scene style. Also we see this hot girl start dating Shaggy??? Also one of the villains from the original Scream???( he only really plays one character.) Makes me laugh every time. Also makes me a little uncomfortable every time since she’s in high school and he’s who knows how old but whatever not important. This also leads to one of my favorite exchanges in the whole movie. 

Taylor wraps up her spring break story time with one of the rawest lines I've ever seen in a 90s movie (she really did that to him) and the director throws in a classic high school movie trope, everyone actually caring enough to stop and watch this exchange. And while I usually hate this kind of character worship, since this movie is already so bizarre and unrealistic it actually kinda fits

We then cut to Laney’s art class which includes her teacher that for some reason thinks her art isn’t personal enough and two clown obsessed Lydia Deetz knock offs. I have to say I do love this part where the art students literally suggest that she kill herself in order to have her art recognized. Very realistic conversation between art students. 

That whole scene is really funny though because it doesn’t feel like it belongs in this movie. Even the music doesn't fit which is only emphasized by the sudden bell ringing transition back into a stereotypical high school movie. It reminds me of movies like the craft, the way it’s cut together, the way the characters talk, how Laney just stares straight ahead after not saying anything. It seems like she could have chosen a completely different movie to be in. Like if the movie was a chose your own adventure, she could have been in a different genre entirely and the movie would have been about her and those girls faking her death to get recognition and make money from her paintings. which would have been sick. but that isn't the movie I’m watching. Which I’m reminded of when fucking Zack comes back on screen.

Also right before the scene where the actual bet is introduced we meet the school’s resident DJ??? which isn’t important at all but is so strange that I feel the need to point it out. Like they don’t just have a guy who does the announcements they have like a disc jockey who is just there all the time??? There are just so many little things in this movie that make it so weird.

So fucking Brock pukashells pulls up and Zach just flips. Which is understandable it is a very gross moment but he just fucking goes off about Taylor and how she’s not that great and he could get with any girl in the school. His friends point out that bitch boy forgot that Taylor Vaughn is “an institution” and basically Zach with tits. She’s very important. This is something I never get about movies like this, has anyone actually been to a high school where someone was that well known. But also not liked? Like sure she’s hot, but she’s also a grade A bitch to everyone. and according to Zach nothing more than a C minus GPA in a Wonderbra. 

Once you get through the misogyny plus ultra scene and they finally make the bet, frosted tips has picked the girl Zach has to turn into the prom queen. Scary inaccessible Laney Boggs. He’s got 6 weeks to make her popular. He starts off his first exchange with her in the best way possible. By calling her brother Spaz (as his name). Again, we’re supposed to like this guy I think. I don’t know when he’s supposed to become a likable character but I can’t imagine it’s during all these scenes where he just legit insults people.

I also love all of the clips we get to see from Brock’s time on The Real World Which make me really question why all the girls fan girl over him given that he’s actually the worst, even on the show. We also get introduced to Zack’s sister who probably should have been a lesbian given how queer coded her character is besides the fact that she desperately wants a boyfriend. She even goes to an all girls school it would have been perfect. But alas, this movie is gay-less.

We are then introduced to another b-plot in this movie, Zack’s indecision about college. This was I guess to make him more human? or something? To sort of flesh him out and give him problems but honestly he doesn't have any problems. Later in the movie Laney points this out to him, he can do whatever he wants. This whole college thing is resolved fairly quickly later in the film too, it’s not very important it’s just the only thing we see about Zack besides being a perfect high schooler throughout the whole movie. Well that and his terrible performance art and being an asshole. 

After we see that Zack has been accepted by every Ivy League school and their mother (I’m not jealous I swear) we take a brief Taylor being a bitch detour before getting back to Zack making an ass of himself. This time he’s bothering Laney at her job which is awesome we love that. Again I don’t know why we like this guy he does like 3 nice things the whole movie. Anyway she gets defensive like she always does and he fumbles around trying to talk like he’s a normal person and not a walking cliché and then there’s this really strange exchange where he tries to asked her for help in art classes and she says “you don’t take art” and he’s like “how do you know?” and she’s like “Why haven't I seen you in any of my classes?” and like, I get what they were going for but what kind of high school is this? how does she have time to take more than one art class? How is she already an art major before she’s in college that’s not how high school works. I only ever had one school where I could take more than two extra curriculars and that was in middle school and it was only because they fucked up and put me in four hours of study hall and so I just went to all of the art classes that were offered. But that’s different. And am I way over analyzing this movie? yes. Does anyone but me care about this shit? probably not, but I’m gonna talk about it anyway.

I also really like Laney’s best friend who’s kind of just there, all the time, he’s such a good wing man. He also made the best excuse to get out of seeing that weird ass art show she’s in. He’s like, oh good I don’t have to see another Mitch show. He’s probably in his underwear in all of them, I wouldn’t want to go either. I think it really says something about the performance art world though, because this is probably the most believable part of the whole movie. If someone told me that his is just an actual performance art piece that they used in this movie I would absolutely believe them. Also one of the weird gremlins in this piece says what is probably my favorite quote ever which is “my soul is an island, my car is a Ford” like what the fuck is that I love that so much.

I really want to know how they came up with this shit, it’s so perfect. It also is another one of these parts in the movie that doesn’t really add anything. A lot of the movie is like this, I feel like 90% of this movie is weird filler scenes and the rest in plot. Like it’s so obvious how it’s going to end that you barely even need to watch most of the movie, and even when you do watch most of the movie it always kind of feels like it only half has something to do with the plot. I’m not even going to talk about the weird hacky Sack scene, I can’t handle how embarrassing and cringey it is I pretty much always skip through it. What a dick move of Laney’s to even put him in that situation. The whole “your eyes are really beautiful” scene is also really strange, both his lines and her reaction don’t really make sense. Through most of this movie when they actually talk to each other I feel like they don’t have any chemistry. It’s the same when he subtly blackmails her into going to the beach with him. He’s awkward and barely says anything that prompts a response and then she just goes full WOKE EMO on him and like, they really do have nothing in common I do not understand their relationship. And then his friends show up and he’s like, “If we’re gonna be friends we’ll have to deal with them eventually” which like, 1: wow get some friends you actually like maybe? And 2: how are you guys friends, you’ve barely ever managed to exchange civil words on screen. Actually maybe that makes sense, this is why he thinks this is okay (besides the whole bet thing) maybe he doesn’t realize he’s supposed to actually like his friends and girlfriend. Because it really seems like he doesn’t like any of them, which I get. Except for Gus (not his name but whatever) because that guy’s actually pretty funny and spends the whole movie calling frosted tips out whenever he sounds too much like Kenny from Can’t Hardly Wait.

The whole beach scene is kinda take it or leave it too, there are a lot of moments where we see Laney hang out with Zack and other people but honestly through the whole movie there really isn’t a whole lot of growth. We don’t actually really see them bond or talk, we’re supposed to believe their relationship is growing but I guess that must be happening off screen because I don’t see it.

One of my favorite parts is when Zack forces the JV soccer team to clean Laney’s house, the kid answering the jeopardy question and her dad just realizing they were there. Oh man, gets me every time. The makeover scene is also pretty cute, I always love those. Also the whole “new, not improved, but different Laney Boggs” thing is adorable and I appreciate it.

The evolving of the characters and their relationships don’t happen gradually, what little is actually shown is pretty much in like 3 parts, the opening, the party scene, and the end. The characters are very flat for most of the movie and they have very little personality, but the party scene is very fun to watch. From “Gracias, papi!” to Laney turning Misty into a clown, and then the Give it to Me dance sequence. And even though the characters haven’t really given me a good reason to care about them my heart still hurts a little for Laney when Taylor ruins her dress. That’s the thing about this movie, I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t like these characters, but I still do, and I have no idea why.

The Brock dumping Taylor thing was great, the parallel was expected but I actually think it added to the story. In fact most of the things after the party actually feel necessary to the movie which is nice. Even the soccer practice actually leads to something. I don’t know what it is about the 2nd quarter of this movie that feels so empty but whatever it is it’s enough that I saw a noticeable difference when I got to the third act of this movie.

It’s a small part but I also really love the alternative clubs that make signs in favor of Laney for prom queen. They’re just so fucking funny to me. I mean, Hygiene club? Prisoners club??? What?

Then they pull another fast feelings thing on me again. They throw the mom painting scene at me and like, wow that’s sad. Then Zack tries to garner sympathy for the problems that he makes for himself. Then boom they flip on me again they’re cute and I like them. Then she says that weird thing about prom and he just dips man. And like, Why do they gotta do me like that? I cannot seem to decide if I like these characters or not it’s so weird how this dialogue is written.

And then the dream happens? Definitely one of the best scenes in the whole movie. So fucking perfect. It really just adds to the weird slight surrealness of this whole movie.

Then we go back to the school and suddenly everyone is dressing like Laney? In support I guess? Again can I just ask what fucking school they go to? And then there’s the beat boxing scene? Where they rap about who’s gonna be prom queen? I’ve never even met anybody that invested in the outcome of who’s gonna be prom queen except for those running. I don’t even think I know anybody who voted. Even so, I do love the beat box scene, they really spit some bars.

Also I just noticed that in that super fucked cafeteria scene, you can see Buffy make a cameo? Just a fun little trivia fact. But seriously that cafeteria scene is fucked. Like, the pubes on the pizza? I wish no one had thought of that ever. Also can I just say I would undoubtedly rather get my ass kicked than be forced to eat pubes. I don’t know what they were thinking that isn’t even a question.

It’s also really uncomfortable how good frosted tips is at acting like he’s not a douchebag. What a creep. If that were a real guy I’d be tempted to call him a sociopath. So gross. But I suppose it’s good for the story line.

The end of the movie wraps up pretty fast honestly. Zack’s dad and him finally communicate which fixes Zack’s only problem immediately because that’s just how easy it is. He was just projecting the whole time, his dad had literally no problems other than being a typical rich dad. Then of course we get another moment with the school DJ who I guess just gets to play and say what ever he wants whenever he wants. Am I the only one who thinks it’s really inappropriate how sexual that guy’s announcements about prom are? Maybe it’s just me and I had a really different high school experience but I feel like people are way too focused on sex when they make movies about high school. Other shit was going on you know? It’s just odd for me to think about grown adults writing and pitching this movie.

Zack really is such a bitch boy though, he doesn’t even try to explain anything to her, just lets her get hurt and lets Taylor be a bitch to her without saying anything. He doesn’t even try to tell her that frosted tips was just as much a part of it as he was. Honestly I kind of wish that frosted tips wasn’t such an asshole his whole heart to heart with her at the door before prom could have been really cute if I didn’t already know he was a lying scumbag. But I guess Laney just gets the lesser of the douchebags.

We finally get to the prom, inarguably the best part of the whole movie, all the little bits and pieces. The sex doll guy is always funny as hell. The DJ being the school DJ works really well brings a lot of closure to that whole weirdness. Also that dance scene is fucking great, has absolutely nothing to do with the plot, which actually works since about 40% of the things in this movie have nothing to do with the plot of this movie. I absolutely unironically tried to learn this dance, man I fucking wish prom was actually like this. I don’t know about you guys but for me, both of my proms were not nearly this theatrical. I spent my first one playing black jack the whole time and my senior prom was full of people that were way too white to dance. Anyway, Laney doesn’t win and she leaves early. Zack gives a pretty boring speech. Taylor goes off on everyone. Frosted tips tries to get Laney in bed and everyone gets upset.

The whole thing ends with Laney coming home to find Zach waiting for her to make sure she’s okay, which is sweet and all but like I can’t help wondering how long he had just been standing there waiting. Especially since it seemed like her dad was just ignoring him. That’s just a funny image to me. Anyway, they dance in the backyard. They kiss. It’s cute. Zack loses the bet so he accepts his diploma naked which I’m pretty sure is indecent public exposure but sure.

Overall it’s a very cute movie. The clichés are sort of made up for by all the weird 90s movie things. Plus it has a pretty great soundtrack. I know I sort of really went in on this movie but to be honest I really enjoy watching it. I’m not sure why. It’s pretty bad when you think about it any deeper than surface level. But it’s also just really fun and the characters are weird and there’s too many duffel bags to be normal and it’s just funny. It’s really weirdly funny. And it has that same non-conclusion that a lot of teen rom-coms have where they just can’t really give you all that much and just make sure they’re happy even if you know there is no way they can continue a relationship outside of high school. It may sound like it, but I’m not mad at it. If you haven’t already I’d say watch it. Watch it as a relaxing mindless good time activity. At the very least you won’t be bored, but if you get sympathy embarrassment like I do then maybe skip a few parts.

As of right now this movie is not available for free on any streaming sites (yes I own it on DVD don’t @ me)

Final Verdict:

Actual movie review: 6/10

How fun is it to watch?: 8/10

[hol-whore]

erina pendleton x fem!reader - poetry, ch. 1

As Erina's companion and lady's maid, you're very close to her. You've spent years by her side, tending to her when she's sick, tidying her room, dressing her, doing her hair, and plenty in-between. You're as much a friend as you are a servant, though; you share your favorite books with her and talk about life and listen to her dreams and ambitions. Surely that's all innocent enough, right? Nothing more than a Lady and her maid being friends. Right?

notes: little AU wherein jonathan and speedwagon are Boyfriends, anne lister published some diary entries as poems instead, and the victorian era is just. better. link is to AO3!

“-- and, listen to this, ‘She was the character I had long wished to meet with / to clear up my doubts whether such a one existed nowadays’? As if she had dreamed of such a woman so wonderful…”

Erina sighs, leaning back against you and clutching the poetry book you’d brought her that morning close to her chest. Wind dances with the curtains and lets the afternoon sun kiss the floor and furniture of her chamber. You smile down at her, playfully rolling your eyes and touching her face affectionately. “Milady, your hair…”

She pauses, her smile never faltering as she laughs a light apology and sits forward once again. You continue your brushing, lacing your fingers through her pretty blonde strands after the brush runs through. Her hair was always so soft, so beautiful, like a waterfall of sunlight. You almost didn't feel worthy of touching it.

The clock strikes one and sings a familiar tune that you both hum out of habit. It’s a sweet, small moment, and you both laugh a bit as you realize you’ve done the same as the other. Your heart flutters as you set the brush aside and work on pinning her hair up just how she likes it. Hard as you try, you can’t shake the delighted grin off your face. The butterflies in your stomach that come out when you’re around Lady Erina are more persistent than usual today, it seemed.

“Milady, tea is in two hours, and I recall you having guests today? Shall I prepare any shortbread? Perhaps pound cake?” you offer while you work, knowing full well such duties weren't your own.

“Oh, leave that for the other maids and the cook, and stay with me a while instead. I could...use your company while I’m reading.”

You wouldn't refuse an order from your Lady, of course.

“Would you like me to clean and sort the laundry, at least? Dust the wardrobe and dressers?”

Your hands come down from her hair and she stands, taking a look in the vanity mirror. She seems pleased, a warm smile gracing her face, and she steps towards you gently and takes your hands in hers. Her smile feels more bittersweet, now that you’re looking at it.

Erina squeezes your hands lightly, her eyes almost searching your face for something. You aren't sure what, but her gaze makes you feel the lowest of aches in your heart and you can't quite bear to meet her eyes fully.

“...If you must.” she says quietly, after too long a moment, bittersweet smile now just plain sad. She sighs, then, and brushes a thumb over your knuckles.You barely have time to react as she wraps her arms around you gently.

“Oh, you work yourself so hard over me…” Erina muses, her voice low in your ear and her hand flush against the small of your back.

She’d hugged you many a time before, but something felt different about this one. It felt heavy, like she wasn’t actually sure what to do.

You lean into her embrace, holding her tentatively, and she rubs her hand between your shoulder blades before pulling back and trudging to the larger chair by her low table with the poetry book in hand.

Deep down, you both knew that hug meant something more, needed something more. You just didn't quite know what it was.

She is quiet for a majority of the time, occasionally laughing or clutching her heart then sharing whatever poem had gotten to her. Some of them you recognized from skimming the book, checking that it was of similar content to the novels she enjoyed; tales of romance or adventure or women and their very close companions. They were your favorites, most often, and you couldn't explain it but there was a certain joy that came from Erina loving them as well.

Perhaps it was merely something like feeling equal to the woman you held so high in your heart. Or something. You couldn't be sure.

-------- Erina, usually oh-so social, is quiet while entertaining today’s guests, opting to listen to their tales of life and love. She doesn't seem bored at all; rather, she merely seems distracted. You figured it was simply because she had gone from being (save for your company) alone in her room to suddenly trying to focus on making conversation that just wouldn't be made.

Simply an off-day.

You pay careful attention to her anyway, fearing she may be getting sick. The main couple, always holding each other’s hands or making eyes at each other and laughing, shares a kiss at one point, and Erina looks the same way she does after she visits the garden in spring and sees no new blooms.

Questions crop up every now and then, in the veins of “when will Lady Pendleton find herself a fine gentleman” and “a nurse’s life shan’t be a lonely one, when will you marry” and “what of that Joestar boy, you would be quite the couple”. Erina deflects each one the way she always does, a quiet “Oh, you, I’ll marry when I find the one”. There's a twinge of fondness on her gentle face at the mention of the Joestars, and you know she can see her beloved friend and his forever-partner in her heart.

You knew why her and Jonathan wouldn’t happen; Erina was in firm in saying she thought nothing more of their relationship than close friends. Besides, he and Robert were glued to each other's sides. Not a soul outside the Pendleton manor knew --- for now --- but the men planned to marry as any couple would, living their lives together in comfort and delight. Erina had been thrilled when they told her the first time, so supportive and sweet as she was. Then again, who wouldn't envy their dedication?

The rest of the afternoon is without much ruckus, just some much needed quiet time, and as soon as she waves off her guests and shuts the front door, she practically falls into your arms and sighs deeply. “Dar-...Maid, fill the tub, will you? I… could use a warm bath to settle my nerves.”

Ah, surely, that’d been it. She was quiet because of nerves.

You hold her as tightly as she holds you, and rest your head upon hers when she nestles it gently in the crook of your neck. “Yes, Milady. Warm water? The soap from India?” you ask, confident you already know her answer. She is quiet for a beat, then hums and mutters, “I’d quite like to use the rose today.”

You freeze for a moment, then lift her from your arms and offer a puzzled look. “...Milady? My soap?”

“May I?”

“I-I….I suppose, but it is of quite lesser quality, I wo-”

“Quality matters not, dear heart, I know what I ask for.” Erina laughs, waving her hand at you.

She’s gazing into you now, the same weird, sweet sadness as earlier, and offers the same small smile before leaving your side and tidying the parlor.

There is a weight, a tension in the air as you prepare Erina for her bath. Her blonde locks tumble over her back and shoulder as you take it down, and you watch every strand with awe. You find yourself using more hand than usual stripping her clothes, smoothing fabrics before pulling zippers and the like. Occasionally you’ll brush her hand when she offers her aid, though Erina seems to be in no real rush.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost wager she’s doing it on purpose.

You hold her hand as she steps in, your cheeks flushing at all the revealed skin. You have absolutely no reason to feel as breathless as you do; you dressed her every morning, after all, and undressed her before baths and dressed her after. And yet, when you catch a glimpse of her bare breast as she settles in, you can't help but gasp under your thin breath.

Hurriedly, you hand her the (now near-finished) poetry book and busy yourself setting aside a towel and lotions, tidying up the bathroom, finding anything to keep your mind at peace without disrupting your Lady.

You leave at one point to fetch more hot water, and upon your return, Erina looks entirely lost in thought. Her book is now set on the stool by the tub, her brow furrowed deeply and face pale. You take great care pouring in the two buckets, and offer her a hand as you stir the water around.

“Milady?” It is a quiet question, a request for attention, and she jolts back to reality after a moment, taking your hand with a sigh. You move her book to the floor, taking a seat on the stool and grasping her hand between both of yours. “Are you sure you’re alright, Milady?”

Erina smiles weakly and nods, then musters her reassurance and sits forward only to turn her back to you. “Will you wash me up, maid?” she asks, her voice gentle, “I’m fine, but I’m...feeling rather faint.”

You wouldn’t refuse an order from your Lady, of course.

You swallow and take the rose soap, lathering the bar and working the suds against her back with your hands. She seems infinitely more at ease; quite unlike yourself, who seems to melt every time you touch a new patch of skin.  You did this frequently enough; why could you suddenly not handle such simple, normal interactions with her today?

The rest of the bath continues with your heart showing no signs of peace, but you make light conversation and finally get Erina talking and laughing as she usually would with you rather than looking like she’d seen a ghost.

Once she’s out, all dried off, and dressed in at least her underclothes, she stops you from grabbing her evening dress and holds your hands the way she did that morning. There’s a quiet pleading in her blue eyes, like the ocean reaching for the moon with the tides.

She doesn't speak, at first, but when she finally does, you wish you could die.

“Let me bathe you.”

Her voice is so light and carefree, yet so strained, as if it took her entire soul to even think it.

“...Milady, this—”

“Please — you’ve done so much for me these all these years. Let me give back to you, I beg you, let my heart do this.”

“I…I don’t know that I can, Milady, it feels...wrong. I think.”

If you could, you immediately wish you could die twice.

Erina looks confused, heartbroken, frustrated. She furrows her brow and her gaze goes through you.

“Damned as it is, I wish you wouldn't call me that. Why must it be ‘Milady’ this, ‘Milady’ that? You are too fond to my poor heart for formalities, sparrow.” She says, her voice still quietly strained and shaky. She pauses and sighs, stepping closer and placing tremored hands on your shoulders.

“Is it wrong, dear heart, my treasure, darling earth under my sky, for me to want to give back?”

Your heart aches, seeing this woman you thought you only loved because you it was all you knew to do so suddenly torn up, and in that moment you understand.

You were in love with her, plain and simple.

And something told you she was in love too.

[maritzabadj503]

13 Things About quality furniture You May Not Have Known

Ideas On Mixing Modern And Antiques Chairs Can Be Fun For Everyone

Rustic style incorporates lots of design styles like cabin, coastal, country and farmhouse. - Farmhouse Design is a fresh take on country living. It's a warm and also comfy design that takes a sign from rustic style and also incorporates vintage and flea market locates in addition to modern-day touches. The style features chalkboards, galvanized steel, repurposed accessories as well as big, comfy furniture.

This "incomplete" style showcases the commercial structure of the structure and also its raw, unrefined sides. Exposed architectural as well as mechanical attributes like pipes and beam of lights, concrete, block, timber and also metal are showcased; as well as practical objects as well as metal lights. Source: The Wow Decoration Since we're clear on the layout styles, let's get involved in the suggestions! Our top pointer for blending antiques with contemporary furniture is to focus on the equilibrium and also proportion of the combined designs.

The 20-Second Trick For Easy Tips For Mixing Different Decorating Styles

It relates to style, in addition to color, shape and structure. Understanding this leading principle is the key to thoughtful style. Wondering where to begin? Start with completion in mind. It's helpful to have an ideas for the area you are creating before you start designing it. For example you could: Socialize antique furniture with contemporary accessories Integrate modern furniture with antique devices Weave a mix of styles such as Farmhouse as well as MCM with antique masterpieces Concentrate on a theme such as "hill cabin", "tones of white" If you're not exactly sure where to begin, see your favorite shop's display room, or look via our Pinterest to attempt and locate one or several pictures that reverberate with you.

For circumstances, you could have antique night table with modern-day lights, or antique lamps with modern night table. In the office you could have an antique workdesk with a contemporary chair, or possibly antique art with a brand-new sofa in your living-room. Resource: Decoist Joining together modern-day as well as conventional designs is the most effective method to make a room that is both fresh as well as timeless.

An Unbiased View of Trick To Mixing Modern And Traditional Furniture

This is the 80/20 regulation. For circumstances, you could have a room with 80% modern-day furnishings and then include a sensational crystal light fixture. Source: Las Cositas de Beloved & eau This rule goes both methods. Right here is a predominantly vintage space with a pop of commercial seen through the necklace lamp as well as vibrant lettered signage.

Source: alleideen When combining vintages with contemporary or contemporary furnishings, absolutely nothing requires to be matched specifically, yet see to it to align and repeat the layout components that you utilize. Everything needs to have a pal. For example, below we see the blue tones from the hero here tables painting are repeated in the furnishings as well as devices.

The 4-Minute Rule for How To Mix Old And New Furniture In Living Room?

Source: Design by Emily Henderson If you have a weird item without a buddy, make it radiate as the prime focus of the room. As an example, if something is a lot larger in scale than anything else in the space, it will stand out as a focal point. In this room, the oversized chinese light and also Baroque mirror are the focal items.

Various designs can be layered with each other for a fascinating completed appearance. Wondering which room in your residence to attempt this out in? We particularly like the combined combination of Farmhouse and MCM in the eating area with standard antique pieces. Below we see conventional landscape paintings and also a typical, antique table integrated with an antique dining room table and also replica MCM Eames dining chairs.

The Only Guide to How To Mix Antique And Modern Decor Styles?

Resource: Sf Woman This look highlights using mixed antique, vintage Thonet as well as modern-day chairs with a farmhouse table and commercial necklace lights. Source: Seller Style Yes, you can mix furniture that use various woods. The technique is to choose a leading timber tone as a linking point. If you have timber floors allow their tone guide the way, otherwise concentrate on your largest furniture piece and also observe whether it has cozy, awesome or neutral wood tones.

Great tones look grayish, eco-friendly or blue. Neutral touches are beige and also select both cozy and amazing tones of timber. In this living-room by prize-winning designer Charlie Ferrer, warm mid-tone timber pieces unify the appearance. Ferrer took the connection of the tone one step better by combining it with the huge 1940's kilim rug.

The Buzz on Great Ways To Include Antiques In Any Decor

This is particularly crucial for placing wood furniture on wooden floorings. Without a rug, wood furnishings with a similar tone to the floorings winds up looking washed out. It's just as frustrating to position a wooden piece directly on top of a wood flooring with a various tone, as the disparity is promptly perceivable.

The technique is to balance lighter products by grounding them next to heavier ones. Dainty products like this settee and also coffee table are secured in the area with this larger side table and also fringed velvet sofa. Source: Ferrer In the very same means that stabilizing the scale of objects and design periods is essential, you additionally intend to commingle the products that you make use of in an area.

Some Of Tips For Mixing Traditional And Modern Furniture

Below we see a sleek mid-century modern Saarinen-style tulip table coupled with rustic rattan elbow chairs as well as Thonet Chairs. The tulip table is a specifically flexible item as it likewise reverses the traditional look of the space. The result is a perfect mix of antique and modern furniture. Source: Style By Emily Henderson The value of antiques hinges on their background.

This repurposed cabinet creates such a standout washroom vanity! Search our collection of custom-made as well as repurposed antiques for more ideas. Resource: Style by Emily Henderson In recap, this appearance is all concerning balancing the designs. Here's a convenient recap of our leading suggestions. Tip # 1 - Start with the end in mind.

Modern Resale, 4413 West Jefferson Blvd, Los Angeles, California 90016

$1310-838-3800

[ganymedesclock]

Regarding Black Paladin Lance - I've seen a ton of really good theories foreshadowing it happening in some form, and it's something I definitely want to see! In the event that Shiro has to temporarily step down or w/e (Project Kuron??), I think having Lance as BP for a while would make since - Shiro confided in Lance about "not feeling like himself" so there's definitely room for bonding to the point where Shiro would nominate Lance to take his place... (1/2)

(2/2)...And while Keith was not a bad BP by any means (I still hold that it was a good experience for him to have, character growth-wise), I don't really want him to go back to that when he seemed to be actively miserable in that position (that could be combined with the stress of missing Shiro though). That being said, I'm still 100% for Shiro as BP lol (he fits the bill so well! He fistfought Zarkon for the black lion's trust!) Clockie, if BP Lance was to happen how would you want it to go?

Honestly, about what you said?

I think that Lance is ultimately meant for Blue. Blue is the place he fits, and again, it’s very thematically significant from where Lance started and what was shown to make him unhappy, that his unfulfilling position in the fighter class (“You’re only here because you’re the second-best, and we couldn’t get our first choice”) Blue is the one who chose him first- literally first out of the paladins, but out of a crowd of two geniuses, a hero, and the best pilot in his class... Blue only had eyes for Lance. 

As far as Black, though. I think Lance is gonna dance with Black for a while and learn something important about himself. And I think it could well happen as part of Shiro consciously being able to outmaneuver Haggar.

Honestly in my wildest dreams it goes both ways- and we’ll get a formation with Keith in Red, Hunk in Yellow, Pidge in Green... but Lance in Black and Shiro in Blue. And this being the temporary culmination in, effectively, Kuron as a bonding arc between Lance and Shiro.

Because both Lance and Shiro are holding the solution, power-wise, to one of the other’s biggest problems.

The Black Paladin is defined as a person of great force of personality and sense of self. Their ideals, their will, who they are as a person is the indestructible lever by which they will shift the world.

Lance struggles with, effectively, conviction in his sense of self. It makes sense given his rather amorphous emotional nature, but like... you can see how troubled he is by someone suggesting that they don’t think of him a way that he wants to think of himself. That’s the root of what bothered him in s2e10- Pidge never once necessarily doubted Lance’s competence, but Lance suggested a trait he had, Pidge questioned it, and Lance had this minor crisis of self-doubt, “Do I actually have that trait if someone else didn’t notice it?”

Lance tries to use his prodigious social connections to build himself because he kind of craves that vindication of having other people tell him what his qualities are. When he tries to choose and define himself, he wants people to agree with him. Conversely, after Shiro- someone whose opinion he respects- calls him a sharpshooter, Lance is positively preening over, “yes, absolutely, this is exactly a trait I have. It’s my thing.” and he repeats it again in s3e1.

Which, being fair- Lance’s social connections overwhelmingly do take pretty good care of him. But it would definitely strengthen Lance as a person to have confidence in himself whether or not he’s able to define it and feel validated by outside sources- that whoever or whatever he is, that’s an okay thing to be.

I think that’s why Black didn’t respond to Lance, but Red did. Because with Black, Lance, effectively, lacks conviction. He wanted Black to validate him, to do- well, exactly what Shiro did in s2e10. Give him the answer so he can feel good about it.

But Black is someone of rigid ideals who demands someone of the same. Black turned to Keith, instead, because Keith knew what he had to do even if he didn’t want to do it. Keith was certain- of his feelings, but also of what he felt was his duty.

Lance was not certain. Lance wanted Black to bring the certainty to the table.

But if there’s one thing Lance is always about, it’s connections. It’s taking care of people. And the Red Lion doesn’t value certainty that much- certainty comes easily to him, and he’s got no hesitation giving that clarity. What he really cares about is who’s gonna run headfirst to Keith’s defense- who’s gonna fight tooth and nail to serve and protect his team, and it’s the person who already took initiative, multiple times, to be there for a friend he can tell is having a bad time.

But even then, that doesn’t address the problem. That’s still a lesson Lance needs to learn, is conviction of self.

On Shiro’s end of things... Shiro from the start has had a personal demon bogging him down and complicating his recovery. We see this obviously illustrated a couple of times, but a big one is in episode s2e5.

Shiro fails to nurture himself. He’ll keep tapping from his own well to try and provide for others but if it runs dry, he’ll just take that silently to himself. He’d be the first person to tell any of the other paladins they can talk to him if anything’s troubling them- he actively tries to check up on Keith in s2e8- but Shiro always puts himself last.

And it’s not even the willful neglect, but that Shiro, simply refuses to look at his own vulnerability, and his own pain, with the compassionate eye he turns on his team. S2e10 and his interactions with Slav there and the following episode are actually really worrying if you consider that what Shiro’s doing is basically just internalizing his own self-talk. 

Especially his line about “so fluff a pillow or count your follicles or whatever”, because it betrays exactly how Shiro views his trauma and the emotional needs he has in healing.

Because when Shiro hits his limits- when he’s upset or scared or shaken up by something, the bedside manner he takes with himself is “well, sorry everyone, I guess we need to stop all of the important stuff we’re doing and go get the big dumb baby a big dumb security blanket, because he can’t keep his shit together for five minutes.”

In Shiro’s book, all of his hurt and anxiety- which are completely understandable natural things to feel experiencing what he had- are just failures in discipline, failures in control. It’s just him whining about nothing.

Blue Lion is thematically the heart of the team- she is the lover, and she is the nurturer. And if there’s one thing to say about Blue’s virtues, and Lance, it’s that Blue is also about self-love. Blue is not, as Shiro is, a vessel that pours and pours and pours without refilling itself.

In the beginning-of-episode scramble sequence in s1e2, nobody is more diametrically opposed than Lance and Shiro. Shiro, who’s already wearing his armor, who is awake and exercising, not sleeping when everybody else is at least in bed (and Shiro of course, never once implies he’s having bad dreams or trouble sleeping), who’s the first responder because of course, Princess, what do you need?

And Lance, who saunters in, completely late, with no idea what’s going on... but having lavishly taken care of himself. He’s feeling great, he’s incredibly comfortable, he’s literally sparkling.

And Blue deliberately holds out on Allura as long as Allura tries to keep their relationship distant and businesslike. What Blue asks of Allura isn’t to prove herself, or flatter Blue’s vanity with sweet words... it’s for Allura to open up emotionally. To say “I’m scared, I’m trapped, I don’t know what to do. I need help.”

As of s5e6, that’s the exact thread that Shiro opens to Lance with. Finally, finally, after suffering in silence all this time, after being vaguely dismissive about a “weird headache”, after gruffly sort of shrugging it off that he was apparently calling out to Lance and doesn’t remember it, Shiro breaks and says “I can’t go on like this. Something’s wrong.”

So I think it’d be really interesting if the ultimate destination this ends up is Shiro and Lance kind of taking a walk in each others’ shoes. A sort of educational exchange of virtues, that will benefit both of them. And that happening by not just Lance in Black... but Shiro taking Blue for a spin. (Which would also be a fun meta joke, because, y’know. In every other continuity Sven is associated with the Blue Lion, not the Black one)

So this is my poison of choice for Black Paladin Lance: Lance and Shiro switch Lions, have a lovely bonding experience, and then go home where they belong being better happier people because they understand themselves better.

[emma-christine-spoole]

My Muse Does the Vanity Fair Interview

https://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/2000/01/proust-questionnaire

Tagging: @normalouisebatesrp @itsnormanbates @leather-lover-massett @xeffie-thredsonx @maggiexesmerelda @tillhumanvxices  @foxbelieve @danascullyeffect @costaricaaguitars @theirlament

and anyone else who wants to. (repost, don’t reblog)

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Wow, we’re jumping right into the deep philosophical questions, huh? I don’t know if it’s possible to have completely flawless, perfect happiness in this life. The world has too many flaws and too many people with high capacity for senseless evil. I think the closest we can get to perfect happiness in this life is having strong bonds with those you love, the kind that will give you the strength to face down that evil when you have to face it.

2. What is your greatest fear?

I try to stay out of political discussions and keep my views to myself most of the time. I’ve just found it’s the smartest thing to do, having spent so many years living in the nation’s capital and considering where I was working. But here’s an exception. My greatest fear currently is that we’re sliding toward a Gilead-like nightmare, slowly like a frog in a pot, so we aren’t going to notice until we’re being boiled alive. Scared that women are going to be stripped of all the progress made over the last half-century, including rights my mother and her mother demonstrated in the streets for. But then I look at my daughter @xeffie-thredsonx and know that’s not going to happen without a hell of a fight from the next generation.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I can have a streak of hypocrisy, unfortunately. I can condemn and punish others for the same perceived wrongdoings I’ve been guilty of myself. I do that by rationalizing, believing my reasons are justified and even noble when theirs aren’t, that I’m bending or even breaking the law to protect those I love or to bring down those who otherwise would’ve gotten away.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Cowardice. It’s so often an underlying root issue of criminal behavior. I deal primarily with criminals who keep other humans as slaves to be sold. They put on such an act they’re such big, tough dangerous guys. But they’re really cowards; it’s obvious once you know how to scratch the psychological surface. Also cowards are the violence-fetishists who hide behind their keyboards and post death-bounties on my head on 4Chan. Pffft. Whatever. That’s been going on for years. Nothing new at all.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

Captain Tammy Duckworth, U.S. Army. She piloted a Black Hawk helicopter with both her legs and part of one arm blown off after it was shot down by a grenade missile in Iraq. Still landed it and the rest of her crew to safety. I met her once when she was campaigning for the Senate, and she’s an amazing person. That’s a true warrior and American hero. People overcome once-fatal childhood diseases every day now. That’s not a warrior. That’s called advances in modern medicine.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

My white Mustang convertible. I love that car like no other. I bought it when I still living in D.C. and there was no need to drive, but so what? I got it anyway. In Oregon, there’s nothing comparable to driving along the coastal highway with the top down on a rain-free day!

7. What is your current state of mind?

Guess you could say I’m pretty introspective because of these questions. I’m also curious and a little bit apprehensive how this interview is going to be received once it hits the news stands. I know we talked about me being known in some circles as “The Sex Trade’s Most Hated Woman,” but I’d really NOT like that moniker splashed all over the cover, if you possibly have any control over it.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Conformity to “traditions.” I have no patience with people who feel it’s best to be conservative, unremarkable, ordinary, to blend in and to blindly follow the life-script that gets pushed on all of us. To me, that’s consigning yourself to a lifetime of mediocrity and dead dreams.

9. On what occasion do you lie?

I lie when I have to protect my birth family, and that’s not the only thing I’ll do to keep them out of harm’s way. We’re not the typical close-knit family. We even have a dangerous side we show to those we perceive as threats. Spend some time in White Pine Bay, and you’ll soon hear all sorts of whispered rumors about us. And whispered warnings to stay off our bad side. Some of those people even act like we’re the Mafia or something! We might not have quite that much pull, but any of us will lie, defend ourselves, and more, when it comes to protecting our own.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

Nothing, to be honest. I’ve always thought I look pretty damn good. If I had to pick one thing, I might’ve liked to share my sister’s bigger breasts. But trust me: they look best on her.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

It’s almost a tie between Ellen Sanders and Alex Romero. The former: Nearly assassinating the President while taking away another woman’s husband is one thing, BUT the latter: taking emotional and sexual advantage of my sister and trying to have my nephew locked up in an institution for no valid reason: NOW it gets personal.  

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Knows how to treat a lady. Ripped. Obedient. Has Mommy issues.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Sweetness. A great body. Willingness to give me complete control. Not only willing, but eager.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

“���Fuck.’ It’s such a blunt, to-the-point, attention-grabbing word in one syllable. Used the right way, it can express anything. Anger, excitement...climax...

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

At one time, I didn’t believe having one “great love of your life” existed in reality. That was before I met my sister’s oldest son @leather-lover-massett. My sister’s his mother and my brother’s his father, so the only thing I’ve heard is accurate to call us is “aunt and nephew twice over.” DNA-wise, we’re closer to being mother and son than regular aunt & nephew. We were strongly, inexplicably drawn to each other from the minute we met, and over the course of one evening, we felt like we’d known each other our whole lives. Before anyone gets up in arms over the taboo of it: Genetic sexual attraction is real and happens 50% of the time in cases like mine. I didn’t believe in it either, until that indescribably intense love - and yes: lust - hit me like a ton of bricks. We’re two consenting adults, we’re hurting absolutely no one, and that’s the end of that discussion far as I’m concerned.

16. When and where were you happiest?

Cliche’ as it might sound: when I was an undergrad at Ohio State. I’d wanted to go there since I was 11 or 12 and watching the Buckeyes basketball games with my dad. I was a two-hour bus ride away from my parents, away from home for the first time; everything was so full of possibility. No one’s college experience is perfect. I would of course face challenges and pitfalls, but there were plenty of good times too. I haven’t been as completely, enthusiastically optimistic since.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

It would have been cool to be able to learn an instrument. I suffered through piano and clarinet lessons before I started middle school, and I was terrible. It sounded like throwing metal trash cans down a flight of stairs, and I feel sorry for our neighbors back then. Tried some of my bandmates’ guitars when I was older, and I wasn’t much better. I can hear all the rhythms, timing, and such when I sing, but instruments: something just never computed.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

It’s all in the past now, but I would’ve changed the amount of courage I needed to first contact my birth family. I needed a lot more of it, which is why it took me so long. A lot of years were lost, and it would’ve been so different if we’d met earlier. I never got to meet my birth parents, and in a weird way I have some deep-down gratitude towards them, for putting me up for adoption. But then I start to feel guilty about that when I think of Norma and Caleb left behind with them, and the hell they were put through.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I don’t think about it much, and sometimes I lose sight of it, but yeah it’s achieving the rank of Special Agent. The exams and PT for it are quite challenging, and it can be very taxing mentally, physically, emotionally, every which way. Only 5-10% of field agents make it every year. Sadly, that percentage of women is even smaller. I’ve love to see that number start climbing within my lifetime.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I haven’t thought about that one! If I got to come back as a whole new person and got to do it all over again, I’d want to come back as the rock star who makes it big this time. Recording contracts, sold-out arenas, the whole nine yards. No law enforcement career this time, in this next life.

21. Where would you most like to live?

I’d love to have a private island off the coast of Oregon and Washington State, and have a big fancy cabin built there for Dylan and myself. Since I spent time with my bio family, I’ve also fallen in love with this beautiful area of the country. Our island would have a causeway bridge and of course gorgeous views of the ocean and forests. Definitely with enough space and privacy for all of us in the family.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

My riverfront house I ended up buying, in northern Portland. Not that I don’t miss downtown Bethesda and all the urban excitement of D.C., sometimes. It was a big change, but I felt like I was home. On a deep level I’d never felt before. I can’t see myself living anywhere else, even after not this long a time. Now, if I could only get the city to sign off on the building permit for a hot tub on the back deck, that’d be great.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

That’s a tough one to talk about. I’d say it’s the feeling of being alone after a traumatic loss. A sudden loss of someone or something who’d meant the world to you, and you couldn’t have guessed it was coming. People can say they sympathize and understand how you feel, but they don’t. Not really. Not unless they’ve lived through the same kind of loss.  

24. What is your favorite occupation?

Ask me that a few years ago, and I would’ve said “Mine is! Working for the FBI, of course!” But lately I have low-key thought about what other career I would’ve pursued given the desire and the circumstances. The first one I came up with: I would’ve gotten my Krav Maga instructor certification and opened my own KM studio. It would be in White Pine Bay, because god knows women there especially need to learn self-defense. Then maybe I’d open another one in Portland, and after that: who knows? Another, very fleeting career thought: If I’d really pursued it seriously when I was younger, I might have ended up singing in a band that made it big, or *laughs* otherwise ended up in show business. But it wasn’t the path meant for me, in reality. 

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

I’ve always been told I pull the energy right to me once I walk into a room. Most people already there, their attention gets drawn to me even when they’re doing something else. I suppose that’s defined as magnetism. Others’ attention gets me energized and even more confident, though I’ve also been accused of arrogance. It’s something I’ve honed for years: the need to mentally and emotionally grab people and shut down any flickers of doubts they may have about me, my leadership, and my convictions that my course of action is the right one.

26. What do you most value in your friends?

I don’t have many female friends, except my sister and a few from the Academy or college that I keep in touch with on Facebook. It’s not that easy to make friends with most other women because we end up having nothing in common, and of course I’m guarded about my family. If I did have them, I’d value a lack of jealousy or toxic emotional fuckery that’s so prevalent among adult women who never matured past high school age. When it comes to finding a beautiful fuck-buddy, I don’t have nearly as much trouble ;)

27. Who are your favorite writers?

Anyone who has written a good autobiography or memoir. I love following other people’s journeys and experiences through this crazy life with all its highs and lows. They can be famous or not; it doesn’t matter to me. Everyone’s life is a story to tell. Some of my favorites: I’ll read anything by Haven Kimmel, most of Stacy Layne Wilson’s books, and similar. I’m currently reading “The Woman Who Smashed Codes” by Jason Fagone.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

Most of what I read is non-fiction, like I said. I think anyone who writes down their life story and all its intricacies is pretty heroic, putting it out there for the world to read. If I had to pick a fictional hero, it would have to be Molly Bolt from Rita Mae Brown’s Rubyfruit Jungle. You don’t have to be gay or even female to love this character. It also brought me a long way in realizing how much my own bisexuality is to be owned and celebrated.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Gloria Steinem. I consider myself a Steinem-era feminist; I was raised that way and it definitely comes from my mother. I see all the ways feminism has changed over the decades, and it’s funny how some of those beliefs are downright conservative when you compare them to some of what’s considered “feminism” today.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

I don’t truly have a lot of hero-worship for much of anyone. It goes back to my being a supposed egomaniac, which I still think is an exaggeration. Like a lot of kids, especially cops’ kids, my dad was one of my heroes when I was that young. Until I grew up some, then learned he (and any law enforcement officers) isn’t all-powerful against the evil in this world.  

31. What are your favorite names?

Those of us three Calhoun siblings: Emma, Caleb, and Norma. They sound rhythmic together. Even though I take serious issue with what my brother did to my sister, we are still bound by blood and that’ll never change. Caleb and I have a rocky relationship, and I would slap handcuffs on him in a second if he ever tried to hurt her again. But he’s still my brother too. Part of me will always believe there should’ve been three of us growing up together. I still wonder how different our lives would’ve turned out if we had.

32. What is it that you most dislike?

People who exploit and harm those who can’t defend themselves. They don’t even have to technically break the law, although most I’ve encountered do just that, over and over. There are too damn many of them in the world.

33. What is your greatest regret?

Shit, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to talk about this. *deep breath* My greatest regret is losing someone I loved deeply and highly valued as a colleague. He was married and a father of two, and I had no business falling for him. Of course that does nothing to stop it, ever. Neither of us could control falling in love. It’s taken me years to accept and believe David’s murder wasn’t my fault, that there was absolutely nothing I could’ve done to stop it. I’m just now coming to accept that what happened to him after he died isn’t my fault either.

34. How would you like to die?

In the words of John Lennon, “I’ll probably get popped off by some loony.” Haha! I kid! Ideally, I’d like to die naturally as an old lady, surrounded by loved ones. I don’t think the odds are much in my favor for that, but we can only wait and see...

35. What is your motto?

If you’re physically and mentally able to do something to make things better and punish the deserving, then you no longer have the luxury of shirking that responsibility.

Also:

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right--for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.” --Eleanor Roosevelt

[papirouge]

Women literally get PTSD and mental trauma from being pregnant and giving birth... It can be a hugely traumatic and dysphoric event for someone, not to mention how physically dangerous it is. Pregnancy literally speeds up your body’s cellular aging. I personally am tokophobic, and pregnancy would traumatize me for sure. Just gain some empathy please and stop prioritizing fetuses who don’t feel anything over women

Are you talking about abused women? women who engaged in consented and happened to be pregnant? Did they lack financial or emotional support all throughout their pregnancy? Disphoria is a mental disease that has nothing to do with childbearing...

You can't frame childbirth as a whole as some traumatic experience based on specific conditions or "what ifs?" Pregnancy isn't an illness.

Stop trying to frame pregnancy as something threatening for women when it's not. I already proved how pregnancy death rate were dependent on the quality of the healthcare system. (France is 0.01% and I'm sure french women aren't inherently stronger or healthier than American women). This obsessional pathologization of pregnancy of some of you is weird and creepy.

Your body is aging by every seconds. Killing infants shouldn't be consequential of vanity issues.

If pregnancy scares you, you are still absolutely entitled to not have sex. Rape pregnancy is barely 1% of pregnancy stats - you have more chance to be run over by a truck than get impregnated by rape, but y'all won't stop fearmongering women about it. Fighting for abortion isn't about health and trauma, otherwise abortioners would agree to make abortion illegal when it happened for consented sex and/or when the mother has no life threatening health problem.

I am actually sympathizing with future women who will never have the chance of getting born because other women were entitled to kill them at their most vulnerable stage of their life. I prioritize ALL women. It's not my fault you are feeling threatened by the idea of not killing kids.

[buttonholedlife]

Get To Know Chicago Based House and Techno Artist Ōsé | EDM Identity

Ōsé has helped make an impression on the Chicago home as well as techno scene along with his excellent manufacturings and also opening sets before Jauz and also Richie Hawtin.Attendees at Jauz's North Coastline afterparty or even Richie Hawtin's current excursion quit in Chicago might possess left behind inquiring themselves a question: who is Ōsé? The latest grad of Los Angeles-based development school Icon Collective has gone back to Chicago and made a label for themself in the local area scene along with various position slots at Protocol Music Hall.With a creation style that draws inspiration from numerous designs of property and also techno, Ōsé has struck the ground running

in 2019 and also is actually a musician to watch on in 2020 and also beyond. He is actually launched many EPs including 5150, Provider, and also Electrical Power Move, all packed with his darker and danceable manufacturing style.With lots of original popular music out now and a lot more on the technique, Ōsé has taped an exclusive all-original mix for our team all to indulge our ears on. Take a listen closely to his visitor mix below as well as read on to read more about this inspiring promising artist.Stream EDMID Guest Mix 188|| Ōsé on SoundCloud: Greetings Ōsé, many thanks for chatting along with our company today. Allow's boot things off along with a consider you as an artist, when did you first decide to dive right into the planet of dancing songs and

w hat's the tale behind your name?My first visibility to dance music was when dubstep was actually 1st making its own method into the

States.It was actually thus fresh and also unlike everything I had actually listened to previously. I had constantly been actually making popular music and also audio yet I couldn't craft how the hell they were making this weird songs, as well as Iknew I needed to think it out so I believed I 'd open up

up GarageBand as well as be on my means ... child, was I incorrect. After a little even more research I very soon recognized that I was battling a really rigorous uphill war trying to use GarageBand as well as it certainly received my ended up item. I very soon bought Maschine(components & software) along with hopes that it will boost my creation efforts and although it carried out, I was certainly not satisfied with the workflow. With some additional excavating,

I discovered that a bunch of these musicians whose songs I was so surprised by were utilizing Ableton Live so I chose to get a copy. Right now I have all the resources that they were actually making use of ... I only required to place in my 10,000 hours(which I am still focusing on). When it comes to my name: In particular folklores, Ōsé is actually a fallen angel and also some of the presidents of hell. He shows guy the

benevolent scientific researches and provides straightforward response to inquiries of the divine in addition to possessing the power to drive a man crazy. It is actually all cooperative with my advertising that hinges on various kinds of thoughts control.After developing up in the areas of Chicago, you just recently attended Image Collective

Songs Creation College. Tell our team a little bit of bit about your course and just how you found yourself going to there.I was undergoing a definitely rough spot in my life as well as I knew that I must bring in an adjustment or I definitely would not manage to take it much longer. I was actually so nourished up with nearby pubs and the exact same saddening skins every weekend that it was actually driving me outrageous. I had started creating the previous year and

discovered some solace in my personal computer screen however struck a large wall surface in my manufacturing skills and also came across Symbol Collective's web site at an ideal time. After a little research study, I

obtained the hell of it as well as to my unpleasant surprise, I was actually accepted with lower than a week to leave all my things and head to Los Angeles. Being actually the worrier I am I was doubtful if I would certainly have the ability to make it function yet I knew that if I kept in Illinois I will be actually embeded the same gloomy comments loophole without any lighting in the end of the passage. I merely needed something to transform, yet nothing ever before carries out unless you are actually the stimulant, so I stuffed my bags and also rented a U-Haul to move to Los Angeles and start at Icon.What are actually a few of the absolute most beneficial items of understanding that you got during the course of your opportunity at Icon?The very most important item of know-how I acquired from my opportunity at Icon

was actually undoubtedly using the Art of Circulation course. It showed me how to develop with no strands attached as well as simply be myself because that is regularly the very best version of you, as well as a model that no person can easily emulate.You have actually burst onto the Chicago setting in the final month along with opening up slots for Jauz as well as Richie Hawtin at Pact Popular Music Hall. Explain what looked at your scalp thŌsé evenings.

What was that encounter like?I have actually been creating and also executing popular music for pretty much my whole lifestyle yet my shows would certainly

commonly be to an unfilled room or even if I was fortunate, a loaded cellar of one hundred people maximum. To participate in to clŌsé to 1,000 individuals as well as feature all my effort was actually an outright dream, as well as it was a lot more special to share the phase along with a fellow Image grad. I don't bear in mind a lot of being on phaseas I sort of passed out from the adrenaline, yet I do don't forget instantly stepping off the phase and bursting into tears as I provided my dad a huge caress who has actually consistently been my some of my most significant enthusiasts and also advocates together with my mom and also sis.

As for the Richie Hawtin program, which was even harder for me to procedure. He is just one of the major advocates that has enabled electronic songs to be extra largely allowed as well as is a trailblazer for the category of techno and also electronic music generally. Atop the only thing that, he is among my most significant impacts. To share show business along with someone of his quality was only an aspiration happened, and also it was actually the best option to feature the darker edge of Ōsé.What sticks out regarding your music is that it is actually permitted you to open for 2 astonishingly various acts. What sort of atmosphere perform you select in your sets and perform you move toward prep work for them differently?Although a DJ is actually suppŌséd to be actually a crowd-pleaser, I think the absolute most

vital part of DJing is actually participating in popular music that resonates with you on every degree feasible. If you are actually having fun and playing the music you enjoy, I really feel that it is actually fairly challenging for the group to possess a bad opportunity unless they involved the gig along with the inappropriate mindset from the beginning. From a spectator point ofview, the best momentous opportunities at a series are actually always unreleased songs that you have actually never heard, and might certainly never hear again, so I attempt to participate in as a lot of my unreleased songs

as achievable to offer the concert-goers the same feeling of ecstasy that I really feel when I hear a song that I won't have the capacity to listen to once again, or at least for yet another married couple months till released. You have actually possessed no scarcity of brand new songs releases in 2019, with several self-released EPs. Just how have you been actually capable to crank out a great deal in therefore little bit of opportunity and also what's your creation flow like?The finest way to possess a higher outcome, in my viewpoint, is actually to certainly never let your own self cease making. I believe that at times our experts might think that our creativity is actually sieved or even broken when it may really merely be our vanity not being actually felt free to along with what our experts are developing. That being actually claimed, I assume

it is actually always essential to keep in mind why you're developing: certainly not due to the fact that you intend to create a"banger"however due to the passion of developing from the beginning. Thus when your monitor isn't simply what you desire it to become, you can remain based as well as always keep improving. It is actually regularly vital to know your restrictions and when you need to step out of your workshop for a breather, however equally as essential to understand when you need to resolve the problems that you are actuallyexperiencing. When you resolve thŌsé complications you become a much better developer as well as even a far better individual with every hurdle you jump over.You Full Command EP is arranged to find out on November 1.

What can audiences expect on Total Management!.?. !? You can easily count on a little bit of a darker side on this EP. The topic is a little grimmer than my normal tunes as I desire to drop some lighting on a number of the concerns that I experience our company are actually all being actually dealt with at this moment while still being a little bit tongue in cheek. Music has regularly been a technique for me to presume additional as well as grow my mindset and also I wish to attempt as well as aid other individuals discover their ideas and consciousness along with my music.Looking in the direction of the future, what are some traits you wish to obtain both temporary and also long-lasting? I am actually

bewitched due to the wealthy background of electronic popular music as well as rave society so apart from participating in considerable amounts of jobs as well as discharging as much popular music as I can, I am operating on receiving associated with putting on shows for Chicago that showcase the abrasive Do It Yourself attribute of where raving absolutely stemmed from. Nothing at all fancy; Just a grimy stockroom, excellent individuals, and loud songs.

Most definitely keep an eye out for 5150 top quality events around Chicago in 2020 plus whole lots of Ōsé launches on my label 5150. As for the long-lasting,

I would like to start an after college program that offers just about anything a younger kid might need to have or desire to look into in addition to a few of the many things that our learning body seems to fail to remember ... I intend to provide every thing from development & audio lessons, sports, financing, religion, and also mental wellness and also wellness training courses and also every thing in between! I have actually constantly been honored along with a terrific household and also a roof over my head however a whole lot of little ones aren't that blessed as well as I desire to supply thŌsé children a safe house to obtain away from their stress, even though it is actually simply for a couple of hrs a time. Popular music has consistently been my safe house to leave my thoughts so I wish to utilize my personal music to deliver the very same trait for others.Finally, what's your beloved component about the vivid music setting here in Chicago?I assume the best attractive as well as exclusive aspect of Chicago is actually exactly how a lot everyone desires it ... regardless of what that" it"may be. The Midwest hustle is certainly a hustle that may certainly not be actually defeated and also I believe that is actually why our team possess several of the greatest craft and songs the world needs to deliver; without a self-pride fastened many of the time. Everybody puts their

scalp down and functions, and also when it's time to select it up and also observe the fruits of their work, it's very easy to observe how challenging they benefited it. Chicago is absolutely one of the very most special spots in the world.Follow Ōsé on Social Media:

This content was originally published here.

[ramajmedia]

Seinfeld: The Best Episode In Every Season, Ranked | ScreenRant

Created by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, Seinfeld quickly became one of the most highly acclaimed and wildly popular sitcoms of the 1990s. While it took a year or two to find its feet, it went on to give audiences some of the greatest installments of television ever broadcast.

According to TV Guide, Seinfeld is responsible for the best TV episode of all time. The show’s nine seasons went up and down in quality over the years, but each one has at least one all-time classic episode in its line-up. So, here is The Best Episode In Every Season Of Seinfeld, Ranked.

RELATED: The 5 Best (And 5 Worst) Episodes Of Seinfeld

9 Season 1: “The Stake Out”

In the second ever episode of the series (and the first one in which Elaine appears), Jerry tries to woo a new romantic interest, but all he learned from her when they met was where she worked because he didn’t want to make Elaine jealous by asking for her number. (This was back when Jerry and Elaine’s relationship was a focus of the show.)

So, he decides to just stake out her office building and wait for her to show up, so he can pretend to bump into her. While it’s not a great episode, neither is anything from the five-episode first season. At least this one gave us the inception of the Art Vandelay alias.

8 Season 9: “The Betrayal”

By the ninth and final season of Seinfeld, the show’s decline in quality was in full swing, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t still head and shoulders above all the other sitcoms on the air. Even on the final-season downslide, the writers came up with “The Betrayal,” a parody of the Harold Pinter play of the same name.

RELATED: Seinfeld: Kramer's 10 Craziest Get-Rich-Quick Schemes, Ranked

Like the play, the episode is told backward – and they went all in, with the closing credits over the first scene and the opening credits over the final scene – and on top of running jokes like Kramer’s big lollipop, the plot is as complex as it needed to be.

7 Season 6: “The Fusilli Jerry”

The best episode in the sixth season of Seinfeld takes that title simply by having so many iconic moments. From the little pasta figurines that Kramer makes of all his friends to the “ASSMAN” vanity plates to Frank Costanza’s “stopping short” technique being used around town, “The Fusilli Jerry” marks itself as a classic Seinfeld episode by being a Seinfeld episode constructed using classic Seinfeld moments.

There’s also some brilliant dovetailing in the script, with the pasta figurine storyline and the vanity plate storyline converging at the end at the proctologist’s office. “Million to one shot, doc. Million to one!”

6 Season 8: “The Bizarro Jerry”

Arriving just three episodes after Larry David’s departure from the show, “The Bizarro Jerry” smacks of a premise that Jerry Seinfeld had been dying to do for years – a parody of the Bizarro World from Superman comics – but David wouldn’t let him.

While it’s decidedly more surreal than the established tone of Seinfeld, there’s no denying that it’s a hilarious installment of the show. It starts off as an off-the-cuff comment about Elaine’s new boyfriend being the opposite of Jerry, but the writers just ran with the premise and gave us the opposites of George, Kramer, Newman, and even the set design of Jerry’s apartment.

5 Season 3: “The Subway”

The best Seinfeld episodes take something that everyone has to deal with regularly – like waiting for a table at a restaurant or trying to find your car in a parking garage or, indeed, riding the subway – and turning it into something hysterical.

In “The Subway,” Jerry meets a nudist, Elaine gets trapped in a tunnel with no announcements about her safety, Kramer stumbles upon a gambling tip, and George gets conned by a seductive woman on his way to a job interview. The real star here is simply a well-crafted script (delivered by the phenomenally talented cast, of course), and that’s Seinfeld at its best.

4 Season 5: “The Fire”

George Costanza did a lot of terrible things over the course of nine seasons of Seinfeld, but mowing down a room full of children and the elderly in order to escape a fire has to take the crown as the absolute worst.

And yet, it’s perfectly in character for him, and Jason Alexander plays the scene brilliantly. Meanwhile, Kramer’s girlfriend heckles Jerry, so he goes to her office and heckles her – realizing every comedian’s ultimate dream – only to send her running out of the building, where she loses a toe. In this instance, Kramer shows himself to be heroic where George is cowardly.

3 Season 7: “The Cadillac”

Any episode that takes us down to Jerry’s parents’ retirement community in Florida is guaranteed to be a doozy. The weird internal power dynamic has always been the funniest part of these storylines, like when Jerry simply accepted a pen and it tore a friendship group apart irreparably.

RELATED: Seinfeld: The 10 Worst Things Jerry Ever Did, Ranked

In “The Cadillac,” a hysterical two-parter penned by series creators Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, Jerry buys his parents a Cadillac and it ends up getting him impeached from the condo board. Plus, George finds out he’s Marisa Tomei’s type and Kramer gets a poetic form of revenge against the cable guy.

2 Season 2: “The Chinese Restaurant”

The term “a show about nothing” is often used deridingly when referring to Seinfeld, but frankly, if a show is able to take the minutiae of daily life and make it more interesting than the writers of a show about murder investigations can make theirs, that’s pretty impressive. The first example of Seinfeld doing this came in the second season with “The Chinese Restaurant.”

The whole episode sees Jerry, Elaine, and George waiting for a table. NBC executives initially rejected the premise, but it was executed so well, with all three characters following their own story thread, that it’s now considered an all-time classic episode.

1 Season 4: “The Contest”

“The Contest” is widely regarded to be not only the best episode in Seinfeld’s fourth season but the best episode of the entire show. In fact, it was ranked by TV Guide to be the single greatest episode of television ever made, period.

The genius of Larry David’s Emmy-winning script is the fact that he alludes to the episode’s topic every ten seconds without ever even using the word. And with all four characters enjoying their own plot thread packed with comedic gems, the episode fits in more genuine laughs in 22 minutes than most sitcoms get into a season.

NEXT: 10 Most Underrated Seinfeld Episodes

source https://screenrant.com/seinfeld-best-episode-every-season/