#it's about the journey between life and death

[seeingstarsinthedaycare]

I love this story so much that I made a fall version!

The King of Summer Sun, Diplomat of the Daylight, had all of his subjects rejoice for the evil Winter King Moon had been caught and now imprisoned. No more shall they obey the whims of frost and night. But Moon had one last trick of his sleeve, before he was banned by all he set loose his howling winds as a last scare to anyone who may try him.

The howling winds turned into whispers, then into a gentle breeze. Y/N, who was preparing for the upcoming Winter, instead stared at the remaining herbs in concern; for each plant was blooming out of season. They listened carefully to the scowls and scorns of the Moon. The idea of Winter disappearing, which will be leaving the world off balance is certainly not a pleasant thought. So they packed their resignation and decided to save the Winter King for orderly pursuits.

As they marked down their journey, they always had a feeling of being watched. And watched they were, as the Sun watched them though swirls of starlight. Curiosity twists within him, for how could anyone ignore the warmth of the Sun for a callously cruel night?

The Summer King's subjects certainly don't. So he obliged their whims to make twisted tasks for Y/N to complete. Animals, creatures, and those full of life took it upon themselves to defend this new found sacred Summer. Each quest is more difficult than the last with the hope of Y/N accepting this new era.

However Y/N briskly takes down each task with great efficiency. Wins each subject over with their melancholy tone and their cold logic and gives them a peaceful slumber. They complete each quest with determination. With every part of their journey that they complete, the more infatuated the Sun felt.

When it was finally time for Y/N to break into the Sun's castle to save Moon. They asked calmly,

“I wish for the Winter King to return to their rightful place.” Sun's heart shattered, for the journey would be over and no more shall he see his precious light. The Moon, stuck inside a magic hearth setting a golden flame. His power is severely weakened, and open to greet death.

“Very well, my only plea is that I may take a portion of your presence. Even if you find me unfitting.”

The Sun gives people the day, the sweet fruits of harvest, the very life they depend on. Everyone adores him. So why pick a cruel and heartless person over him?

To the surprise of both Moon and Sun, Y/N looked at them with the most confusion. “What on Earth are you talking about?I neither offer a smidge or portion when I can offer my complete self to the both of you. My love is endless and eternal, not something that cheaply passes in time; nor something endowed to the cycles of life.” And that was that. The hearth burned low to set the Winter King free. Where he grew frost tenfold for the upcoming winter holidays. Snow gently touched Y/N's features as the three rejoiced. It is then that Y/N is given the title of autumn, the link between their lovers, the summer, and winter.

Winter King Moon, emissary of eternal Night, had imprisoned the Lord of Summer, beloved and life-giving Sun. Trapped in the darkness of Moon's faraway castle of crystal, withering in the harsh conditions, Sun had summoned a frozen flower, whispering to it, calling for anyone who may care to hear his pleas.

Y/N, playing in the fields and dreading the approaching Winter, hears Sun's silent pleas coming from a dandelion. Taking pity and wishing to release the ruler of warmth and daylight, Y/N embarks on a journey to this castle, heart determined and mind resolute.

Unbeknownst to them, Moon had observed sweet Y/N through his magical mirror all the while, admiring their valour and adoring the spark in their eyes. He desired that same love that Y/N held in their heart for Summer's warmth. Was he not worthy? Was Winter not Summer's equal? Was the Moon less lovely than the Sun?

Tasks and quests he had sent upon them, obstacles untold, enemies a thousand. Y/N, soul ablaze with courage and love, had melted each obstacle, befriended each enemy, and Moon's adoration only grew the closer they approached. "Return the one I love, release the Lord of Summer", Y/N 's voice echoed across the castle halls. To their horror, Moon held a blade of ice to Sun's heart, piercing slowly "offer me but a fraction of your love, and I shall let my sworn enemy live. If I cannot feel the warmth of your kiss, then neither shall a single dawn grace the world ever again."

Pity and sorrow graced Y/N's features, understanding that Moon's mind had been plagued with loneliness and therefore cruelty. They came closer to the throne, begging, pleading, embracing both Moon and Sun, tears falling down their cheeks "ask me not to choose, for I have room in my heart aplenty, do not shed brotherly blood, fear not the love he received, for I can share the same with you. I offer myself to you both, wholly, eternally." Moon's blade had melted, his heart pounded and soul wept. Sun smiled at his beloved, grateful, joyous. Suddenly, flowers bloomed in Y/N's hair, their touch caressing Sun and Moon's cheeks gently. Y/N kissed their new lovers, lips as soft as roses. And so, Y/N had awakened as Spring, forever holding the hands of Winter and Summer.

[completeoveranalysis]

[7]

I- 

APPARENTLY THERE IS ANOTHER THING. Now Clow Reed has traded his life as a price to pay for Syaoran’s. 

WHICH IS ALL VERY WELL AND GOOD BUT MY GOD HE IS SKATING BY ON A TECHNICALITY THERE. More Cardcaptor Sakura spoilers in this post.

Like YES ok he isn’t alive but he didn’t ‘die’ in the traditional sense, and there are two half Clow Reeds walking around alive right this very moment, BUT apparently that is still enough of a price! HE, the original, the Full Clow Reed Experience, is still "current status: not alive", so that looks like it’s enough of a price. 

I suppose his magic itself is also listed as a very significant part of the exchange here too, which neatly ties back into Cardcaptor Sakura yet again. There it was Running Out and this would add another reason why that's the situation they're dealing with (beyond him being dead, which is apparently not enough); he had traded the rest of it away, for Tsubasa Syaoran, so there was none left to keep everything going. Or like, there's something about Eriol in that as well, I can't remember. Eriol inherited the REST of Clow's power, but not as much of it by far, on purpose, so I guess all the missing magic was traded away.

But EVEN SO it feels like an entire universe shift inside my mind here, where we are rewriting the entire reasoning behind Clow Reed’s death into the very fabric of Tsubasa as if it was that way all along. Like, goodness, when was Cardcaptor Sakura? When did that air for my country - the year 2000? That’s over twenty years of a fact living inside my brain before redesigning the entire truth behind it now in 2024. 

Though let’s be real part of that is my fault for reading this so slowly. But still.

I was about to move on but I just also want to go back to Yuuko and add that Yuuko is paving the way for Sakura on two fronts - or switching herself out for two different Sakuras. Her spot in Existence, in the Revived-From-The-Verge-Of-Death-and-In-Between-Reality Zone was given to Super Sakura, which was originally framed as if that was the end of Yuuko already. But now we find out that WHILE that space went to Super Sakura, Yuuko kind of still exists in the world of dreams - but now she’s formally trading her life away for our clone Sakura’s life, so she can continue living once again. 

Oh and the romance of it all. Yuuko and Clow Reed being a tragic couple who couldn’t have the life together that they had in mind, passing their spots in life on to another doomed couple who now CAN have a life together. Yuuko and Clow being hyper powerful beings, willingly trading places with broken clones who didn’t naturally exist in the first place, so that they can be together and fix everything else in their stead. 

Yuuko and Clow (mostly just Clow) breaking the universe, and then passing the torch onto the couple who will fix it instead. 

And add in how involved they were in the process too! Knowing that they would trade their lives away to help these two, and then doing everything they could to help them actually get here in the end. Clow giving up his entire life to go and raise Sakura as long as he could, and Yuuko watching over and helping Syaoran and Sakura on their journey as much as possible, let alone - OH. WAIT. Clow Reed in the Clow Kingdom raising Sakura and Syaoran, while Yuuko helps raise Watanuki, yet another accidental clone person who only came into being because of mistakes they made.

The symmetry of that is wonderful. 

And even like, the framing of Yuuko’s position as the audience understands it. At the start of the story it seems like Yuuko is mostly neutral, if sympathetic, and over time it seems like she’s working towards a greater goal of saving the universe and so it suits her to watch over them. But SURPRISE she and Clow have been deeply involved in raising and supporting these two (or three) from the very beginning of their lives, working heavily behind the scenes to make deals and push people in directions that would eventually spiral around and help them get here - so that Clow and Yuuko could trade their lives away to give Sakura and Syaoran both another chance at life. 

Like OH the secret parents who stepped up and guided these kids when they had no-one else. These kids who weren’t technically born and weren’t originally meant to exist, and Clow and Yuuko stepping in and becoming the parental figures who give up absolutely everything to make sure it turns out ok for them in the end. I just really enjoy that.

[theflagscene]

15 Day BL Challenge (part 4)

59. What's a hill you're willing to die on when it comes to BL?

Omg, yes, someone asked me!!!!!

I will die on this hill, fite me.

*ahem*

Cupid’s Last Wish is a good series!

I know there is a shit ton of hate for this series and I have absolutely no idea why. It is a masterclass in physical acting, seriously, it is phenomenal! The story is very basic, because the focus of the series is the character’s journey and self discovery. Korn and Win already knows they’re in love, the story begins with them already knowing that they love one another, they just haven’t acted on those feelings nor have they admitted their feelings to one another. But never once does the narrative act like we the viewers are supposed to wonder if they love one another, that’s not the point of the plot. It’s how miscommunication and grief can blind someone so much that they lose themselves within those feelings.

In the case of the series, Win literally loses himself thanks to his anger. He nearly kills his body and damns his sister’s soul, so he must go on a pilgrimage with Korn to heal his own soul whilst his body is wavering between life and death which could very well take his sister’s soul with it. Korn, his best friend of 22 years and soulmate is the only person who can see him whilst trapped in his sister Lin’s body, because Korn always sees Win for who he really is. And of course we have the conniving mother, a well meaning family friend and a mysterious monk.

This is some of Mix’s best acting, not just as Win since Mix doesn’t usually play such a toxic character. But because for most of the runtime he is playing a male character trapped inside a female’s body, trying to trick everyone expect for three people that he is in fact a woman. Jan is fantastic in the role as well, because when she’s onscreen she must act as if she is a male stuck in an woman’s body with a male’s mind, trying to convince people she’s a woman.

It’s a complete mind fuck! Mix and Jan are fantastic as Win, the way they carry themselves, walk the same, stand the same, take up the same space, speak the same way. But don’t think Earth has it easy in this series either, because he had to make sure he held, touched and spoke to Mix and Jan exactly the same way. So when they edited the scenes to overlap, seeing Jan’s body instead of Mix’s, Earth is in the exact same position with both of them.

Seriously, if you dropped this series, try it again. Watch it just for the acting, because it’s phenomenal.

Also it has what might be the best onscreen reaction to menstruation from a male’s point of view without it being misogynistic, gross or rude. They make some jokes, like Korn not knowing what kind of pads to get for Win when he starts his period, and of course how Win feels having to care for and clean his sister’s body in a respectful manner. How he experiences her emotions, her hormonal shift, the pain of cramps, the way his whole body aches and how sick he feels. Korn is also so caring, trying to help Win through something he’d never experienced before without crossing a line with Lin’s body because whilst it’s Win, his best friend and love of his life, and when he looks at Lin he sees Win in his mind, it is still Lin’s body physically there. And as much as he loved Win, wanted Win, Lin was a baby sister to him and he could not, would not, touch Lin’s body in a sexual manner.

At the end of the series when he admits to Win and Lin’s mother that ‘something happened’ between him and Lin (it was Win, but in Lin’s body) all he meant was that Win had kissed him. Yes, he had kissed Win, shared a bed with Win, but he knew how that looked to people who didn’t know it was Win in Lin’s body. So to keep Lin from being shamed he agreed to marry her, instead of trying to explain to their mother that the assumption she was making about Korn taking Lin’s virginity was wrong.

There are fantastic villain characters in the form of the scheming aunt and uncle. Not to mention the family secret, Win and Lin’s mother facing her homophobia concerning her son, Lin being in love with someone else and of course Korn being forced into a mess that he did not want to be a part of but considering he had been friends with Win for 22 years and loved him more than life, how could he say no?

It’s a beautiful story, it’s funny, well acted and has Mix working with animals!

[lunar-system]

Izzy Hands: The Moon.

Re-imagined from the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith tarot, this version of the Moon shows Izzy taking the shape of a lone Lover, longing for what he cannot reach.

Longer exploration of the card's symbolism under the cut.

Symbolism of the card

I initially meant this card to be specifically Izzy's, but he is once again unseparable from Ed. Though the moon itself is depicted as Ed, it is through Izzy that I interpret the journey of the card. Feel free to invent your own interpretation as well!

In the original version of the Moon we see a dog, a wolf, and a crayfish. Izzy takes the place of the wolf, marking him as wild and untameable. He is accompanied by a dog, symbolizing his loyalty. The crayfish has retreated, and we can see a monster lurking in the depths of the water, reminding us of the beasts that lie within.

Rachel Pollack (2011) writes: "The Moon signifies the dangerous time between the end of one world structure and the beginning of another. On the emotional level it can indicate the strange state when something powerful has ended and you find yourself thrown back on your instincts."

In the card Izzy already has his wooden leg. He his stepping into his role as the Unicorn, marking a shift in his loyalty and his place in the world. His reign as Blackbeard's first mate is ending, and a whole new world order is being imagined.

Ed is also seen in a new light. With his short beard, he is at the end of his captaincy, possibly even at the end of his piracy. He as the Moon is illuminated by the light of the Sun, personified by Stede in another card, The Sun.

Izzy bears witness to their combined light, unreachable to him on the ground. He teeters at the edge of the water illuminated by that very light, and is faced with a choice. Will he turn, follow the path and try to reach the unreachable? Or will he explore the unknown waters in front of him?

In tarot, water symbolizes emotions, intuition and subconscious. Pollack writes: "Here in the unknown territory our animal selves take over. We cannot suppress the wild emotions but only travel through them." The message of the Moon beckons Izzy to step into the water and face his emotions.

However, there are also dangers in the murky waters of the subconscious. Pollack continues: "The Moon card calls forth powerful dreams, visions, and the power of the feminine." In tarot water is a feminine element. Izzy, a beacon of masculinity, has in the past confused the feminine with the monstrous. He is now dared to invite the feminine within him to the surface. His posture already mirrors that of the feminine lover from the Lovers-card. It also calls back to the Fool, to someone at the beginning of their self-discovery.

Tl;dr: Izzy, the Fool and the Lover, is on a journey from one world to another. Will he follow the path and try to reach the unreachable, or will he find the courage to plunge into unknown waters?

A comparison between the original Rider-Waite-Smith card from 1909 and the re-imagined version

Izzy's pose mirrors the feminine Lover

Sources

Image source: Pamela Colman Smith, 1909, republished as Tarot of A. E. Waite, 2016, AGM-Urania, Germany

Text source: Rachel Pollack, A Journey of 78 Steps, 2011, as cited in the booklet for instruction and guidance of Tarot of A. E. Waite, 2016, AGM-Urania, Germany

[nrdmssgs]

Guys, I usually say 'lets read the good stuff', but this is something new. I want you to read and learn with me today. And we will be learning, how Russian literature functions and what can you steal (and stealing as an artist is quite a skill and a good thing) from it to make your fanfiction. Before we jump to it: I know next to nothing about Juju, so any of my assumptions may be wrong. I also used a term 'stealing', but by no means do I hint on Juju stealing anything!! They clearly grew up in a very rich cultural context, they read a lot and it shows. The reason, why we will be stealing things is that I will try to a quick dive in Russian literature without forcing you to read Russian classics.

Russian literature loves existential reflection.

Jujus world is full of little lively details, yet it's so cold and lonely there. The cold, oppressive environment mirrors the introspection of the reader, symbolizing internal struggles and a yearning for connection. Colorful windows are there, but they don't warm us up, we are still alone out there. The narrative constantly reflects on the emptiness and desolation of the world, even as it acknowledges the signs of life around. And this is something that you find in Dostoevskys Saint Petersburg. The duality of existing in a world teeming with life, but feeling utterly alone is very common for Russian culture and Juju demonstrates, how can you bring this piece to your fanfiction.

Rich descriptions.

Russian literature revolves around them. Be it Tolstoys page-long sentences or "Purpur twilight with glitter of snow wraps itself around another building that forgot it used to be white." If you want to bring this tingle of Russian classics to your story - treat your environment as a character that need as much description and dynamics as your OC.

Focus on human connection and longing.

Even when everything you talk about is a cold-cold world around - don't forget the real reason behind this all. The longing for another person (Nikto) and the comfort of shared warmth is central to the story. This focus on deep emotional bonds, despite an external environment of coldness and detachment, is often found in Russian literature (like in Lermontovs poetry where his characters are usually very confused guys, trying to figure out what are they missing so hard and finding out, its simple human bonds)

Symbolism.

You want to enrich your story - season it with symbols, you want to make your story full or Russian doomer-like vibes - make these symbols about imprisonment and freedom. The description of snowflakes as "inmates that weren't lucky enough to escape" does the trick perfectly.

Complex emotional depictions.

Despite a popular archetype characters in Russian literature are not these always screaming, laughing, bear-fighting daredevils. Usually, they are guys that try to relive 20 different emotions at once and not make it too obvious. The interplay of subtle emotions, such as the hesitation, longing and quiet warmth shared between the reader and Nikto, reflects the emotional nuance often present in Russian literature. Characters rarely express their emotions directly. Instead, their feelings are revealed through small gestures and actions, much like the "subtle smile" that "lights up his face and evaporates."

Melancholic tone and acceptance of suffering

Look, Russian classic authors love angst and hurt with no comfort. So even in the fluffiest fluff they would write something like “Harsh cold kissing you with the passion of death personified. Something you're familiar with.” Because you, the reader, coming to the text raised from Russian culture are doomed to suffer. You are a stoic now, you embrace suffering as an inescapable part of life. And this is something that happens with every second character in Russian literature.

Ok this was not just a good stuff, this was a journey. Thank you Juju!

Hey, @nrdmssgs, sorry for annoying you, I'm mostly tagging you not for the text, but for the video. I just... thought you'd get it, you know? Sorry in advance if that won't really do anything for you.

It's just a little Nikto x reader something.

Song: Раньше в твоих глазах - Кино

Hot exhale turns into dampness on the cloth covering your mouth when it comes into contact with the cold air outside. Thick knitwear protects tender insides, but irritates skin around your lips, so pulling it down brings short relief before frosty wind bites into the vulnerable wet patches. Wiping it off with your sleeve is futile, wooly coat already covered in prickly snowflake crystals that melt against your skin, so you end up letting it go. Harsh cold kissing you with the passion of death personified.

Something you're familiar with.

Grey bumpy wall of a panel house with a cage wart of cellar maintenance entrance, frozen lock defying gravity and utterly useless with rusty hinges that will come off from a little nudge, protects you from the calm blizzard; little flame from your lighter licking at the end of your cigarette and successfully lighting it up first try. Orange light powers up with your first drag, shining just as bright and useless as the warm street lamps along the alley.

It's the cold, white ones, exposing every little snowflake incoming like icy missiles of the sky army, that actually do something to the darkness. Barely afternoon and it already feels like the middle of the night.

Smoke turns into purple mist when you breathe it out into the illusive air with the moisture of your lungs.

The world feels empty as you walk. It's undeniably riddled with signs of life, yellow windows of apartment complexes with a few pink or purple sprinkled in, crows cursing the cold, God - or maybe even you - hoarsly, crunchy snow pressed into a slippery surface by dozens of boots that walked in since the snowfall started. And yet you're filled with the peaceful feeling of being completely alone.

Funny how that makes you going out to the streets useless - before you exited your apartment, you were gearing up in warm clothes to meet someone. As soon as you stepped outside, liminal world of non-existent time - dawn, dusk and afternoon all at once - claimed you into its twilight mist.

Purpur twilight with glitter of snow wraps itself around another building that forgot it used to be white and pushes you between your shoulder blades. Same whirlwind moves a children's swing on a playground, fresh layer of snow where there's no one to sit anymore.

There's no one to lend you gloves as your fingers grow stiff, clutching an unflavoured cigarette. To your right, an endless stone wall with barbed wire on top drags along. Fluffy snowflake conglamerates get pierced by the spikes like inmates that weren't lucky enough to escape.

A bright white street lamp works as a floodlight in this one-person prison, sharp shadows softened by the twilight.

Crows notice him first. Shoulders slightly slouched to brace against the wind, hands deep in the pockets of a worn jacket with thick padding, heavy steps sinking into the fresh layer of powdered diamonds - a beast treading the zone. Grumpy birds scatter away, flapping their ashy black wings, unsynchronized choir of curse caws rolls off the man's broad shoulders with snow.

He notices you only after you drop what's left of your cigarette on the ground, barely warm butt burrowing itself into a tiny black dip, and take off. His steps stutter, then pick up again, and by the time you slam yourself into his sturdy chest, Nikto is already prepared for impact and doesn't even sway, catching you.

His hands are securely protected by thick black gloves, yet you still feel the desperation his fingers dig into your back through all the layers of winter clothes.

"Komu veleno bylo doma sidet', zhdat'?"* Voice muffled by his mask, he scoffs at the way you blatantly ignore his question, and leans even more in to brush what's left of his nose underneath against yours.

"I just wanted to meet you halfway." You shrug and roll your eyes as you see him pull off his gloves. A moment later your hands start boiling - fluffy insides of Andre's gloves accumulated so much warmth that your fingers prickle as they warm up.

"And I hoped I'd get fresh tea as soon as I come home." He chuckles, reaching into your pocket unceremoneously and fishing the cigarette pack and lighter out.

You escape the prison floodlight brightness and under gloomy protection of thickened twilight and grey concrete he exposes just his mouth to light the cigarette and take a drag.

"I boiled some literally a few minutes ago. And made pirozhki. A fuckton, actually, just in case someone comes home really hungry."

It's impossible to miss his subtle smile once you learn to catch it in the mere seconds it lights up his face and evaporates, like a shitty lightbulb at the stairwell of your building, reeking of old cigarette ash from the cat food can people use as ashtray at the bottom step. Nikto tilts his head up, letting the wind take his smoke and add it to the clouds that turn water into powdered sugar on the ground.

"S chem?"*

A panel house opens its maw, letting you both inside.

You stomp your feet in unison on the dirty, wet communal carpet, adding to the melted snow on it, before you move to the elevator.

"With love."

*Komu veleno bylo doma sidet', zhdat'? - Whom did I tell to sit and wait at home?

*S chem? - With what (filling)?

[horreurscopes]

i like my body when it is with your body.

[countdown-til-sanders-take-over]

this is a formal apology for every time i've read ur fnaf theories, gone "ah... of course! yes!" and then forgotten to respond

This is a formal apology for every time I've read one of your asks, not immediately had a TQ&/E, and forgotten to respond

[born-to-lose]

I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself

[queerdaisyjane]

you feel a beautiful satisfaction wash over you as you stare at the girl in the mirror who was staring back at you, her matching panties and bra encompassing your transformed body, puffy tgirl tits and now-wider hips becoming ready to receive the alien’s thick penis-like tentacle between your thighs and bear the offspring children as they develop in your body cavity that will serve as their womb. You dream of laying beneath it, who you think of as masculine, as him, your legs spread wide as he hammers away in your sissy vagina, your implanted solitary, defenseless egg already making its perilous journey into your rectum after being forcibly injected into your stomach from the tentacle he slid down your waiting, offered throat, sliding its way now thru your guts towards a savage assault by millions of hopeful sperm in his semen, each wanting to penetrate your soft membranes and begin to divide and multiply in you to begin new alien life deep in your bowels, lives that will grow and develop and consume you from within, because everyone knows that the alien birth will kill you, will rip you open from front to back and side to side as hundreds of baby aliens spew forth from your ravaged, lifeless body. So his ejaculation inside your boipussy is a literal death sentence, one that the chemical lacing its tentacle, that you like to think of as a penis, is rewiring your brain to accept and even crave every time it fucks you, you crave its emission that you like to imagine is its seed and its babies inside you, feeding on you, devouring you, and ultimately consuming your ruined body upon their emergence as their first meal in their new world, a world they’re adopting and transforming into their own with every human transgurl like you that they locate and breed now. In five years, only human females and alpha males will remain and the aliens will begin breeding them in a different, more powerful and insidious way, creating and adapting the human form externally so that cis humans and aliens will be indistinguishable. Transgender women will be the incubators of this invasion and there is nothing that can be done to stop it. You’re the first sacrificial victim of the alien invasion of your planet, the feminine carrier of their first wave of the invading, shape-shifting race that will transform and subjugate humanity on an entirely different level. Your sexually forward and positive orientation ensures you won’t think twice about offering your body for breeding, as the chemicals the alien doses you with make your mental state super receptive to domination by him and impregnating by his indescribably-delicious semen.

Ivy

[curlicuecal]

playing science telephone

Hi folks. Let's play a fun game today called "unravelling bad science communication back to its source."

Journey with me.

Saw a comment going around on a tumblr thread that "sometimes the life expectancy of autism is cited in the 30s"

That number seemed..... strange. The commenter DID go on to say that that was "situational on people being awful and not… anything autism actually does", but you know what? Still a strange number. I feel compelled to fact check.

Quick Google "autism life expectancy" pulls up quite a few websites bandying around the number 39. Which is ~technically~ within the 30s, but already higher than the tumblr factoid would suggest. But, guess what. This number still sounds strange to me.

Most of the websites presenting this factoid present themselves as official autism resources and organizations (for parents, etc), and most of them vaguely wave towards "studies."

Ex: "Above And Beyond Therapy" has a whole article on "Does Autism Affect Life Expectancy" and states:

The link implies that it will take you to the "research studies" being referenced, but it in fact takes you to another random autism resource group called.... Songbird Care?

And on that website we find the factoid again:

Ooh, look. Now they've added the word "some". The average lifespan for SOME autistic people. Which the next group erased from the fact. The message shifts further.

And we have slightly more information about the study! (Which has also shifted from "studies" to a singular "study"). And we have another link!

Wonderfully, this link actually takes us to the actual peer-reviewed 2020 study being discussed. [x]

And here, just by reading the abstract, we find the most important information of all.

This study followed a cohort of adolescent and adult autistic people across a 20 year time period. Within that time period, 6.4% of the cohort died. Within that 6.4%, the average age of death was 39 years.

So this number is VERY MUCH not the average age of death for autistic people, or even the average age of death for the cohort of autistic people in that study. It is the average age of death IF you died young and within the 20 year period of the study (n=26), and also we don't even know the average starting age of participants without digging into earlier papers, except that it was 10 or older. (If you're curious, the researchers in the study suggested reduced self-sufficiency to be among the biggest risk factors for the early mortality group.)

But the number in the study has been removed from it's context, gradually modified and spread around the web, and modified some more, until it is pretty much a nonsense number that everyone is citing from everyone else.

There ARE two other numbers that pop up semi-frequently:

One cites the life expectancy at 58. I will leave finding the context for that number as an exercise for the audience, since none of the places I saw it gave a direct citation for where they were getting it.

And then, probably the best and most relevant number floating around out there (and the least frequently cited) draws from a 2023 study of over 17,000 UK people with an autism diagnosis, across 30 years. [x] This study estimated life expectancies between 70 and 77 years, varying with sex and presence/absence of a learning disability. (As compared to the UK 80-83 average for the population as a whole.)

This is a set of numbers that makes way more sense and is backed by way better data, but isn't quite as snappy a soundbite to pass around the internet. I'm gonna pass it around anyway, because I feel bad about how many scared internet people I stumbled across while doing this search.

People on quora like "I'm autistic, can I live past 38"-- honey, YES. omg.

---

tl;dr, when someone gives you a number out of context, consider that the context is probably important

also, make an amateur fact checker's life easier and CITE YOUR SOURCES

[starsofang]

CALL OF THE SEA / PART FOUR

pirate poly!141 x f!reader tw: NSFW, MDNI, violence, kidnapping, angst, blood, 141 are still mean pirates ): kind of, very brief mentions of death masterlist

When a group of unhinged pirates invade your small village, you're whisked away from your peaceful home and thrown on to a voyage out at sea. Forced to obtain a new role as their medic, you have no choice but to accept your fate as you join their forces and aid them in their treacherous travels.

There were no ifs, ands, or buts about sleeping arrangements. Price, the Captain that he was, would have it his way, and his way was keeping you secured in the stuffiness of his own quarters.

It was uncomfortable, the way you shared the bed with him. He was a large man, much larger than you, and his bed only had so much space to fit the two of you. In the midst of the nights, you’d feel his leg brush against yours, or feel the soft rumble of his quiet snores from where he laid beside you.

It was far from ideal. As much as you hated it, it was an upgrade from your cell down in the brig. Price’s bed was softer, more plush, and it sank you in every time you slept on it. The situation was no better, but it wasn’t any worse, either.

The downside, though, was that you were just as much a prisoner as you were in the cell. Price made it known that you weren’t to leave his quarters under any circumstance.

They brought you meals in rotations. Sometimes Soap would show, cracking a horrible joke that left you rolling your eyes. Or sometimes it’d be Gaz, who hardly spared you a word of conversation, though you could see the faint glimpse of pity in his eye.

Then there was Ghost. A pure enigma, darkened by shadowy demons that were hidden beneath his mask. He never uttered a word to you, nor looked at you. He did his bidding by slapping down a bowl of poorly made stew and immediately making his exit before you could get a single word in.

Price wouldn’t bring you your meals, though you convinced yourself it was because he was avoiding you. You thought his original plan of having you sleep in his quarters would be for something diabolical and sinful, yet he made no effort to touch you nor get to know you. It was nice, knowing he wasn’t there to do things against your will, but it was also confusing, wondering what his real plan was for you.

It was as if sleeping with a wall, which you weren’t sure whether to be grateful or not. These men were far from people you wanted to be a part of, but the desire for a friend was beginning to outweigh your spite.

You were an outcast aboard this ship. Secluded from the world, and isolated from the only people you were surrounded by. It was a dreadfully lonely life to be living. Your only friend was the sea, and even that was something you were torn away from, locked away in the quarters with only a small window to offer a view of it.

The door of Price’s quarters barged open, disrupting you from your woe. None of them ever bothered to knock. They were savages, bred with no proper manners in the presence of a woman. But really, you weren’t a woman to them. You were labor. An inconvenience.

“Get up,” Ghost grumbled from his stand in the doorway, hand knuckling the rusty knob. “Goin’ shoppin’.”

“We’re on land?” you asked, standing from Price’s cot. Ghost grunted in response. “And I’m to… join you?”

“You need supplies, don’t you?” he gruffed, eyes narrowing in on you. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

The door abruptly slammed shut, leaving you alone in the quarters once again.

Land? They were allowing you to join them on their journey to land, to aid you in getting supplies necessary to work as a proper medic? It seemed surreal, yet bittersweet.

Gaining new supplies set your position on their crew in stone. They intended to keep you as theirs, and only trusted you enough to let you get off of the ship under their watch.

Yet, you’d be able to feel the grass between your toes once again. To feel the summer sun soaking in your skin, to hear the chatter of villagers fill your ears. You’d feel the liveliness of people apart from these heartless, savage pirates.

You’d be able to escape.

If you remained clever, you could leave the hands of Captain Price and create a new life far from their ship. This was your one and only opportunity to venture towards the life you always wanted for yourself.

You appeared as neutral as ever when you left the quarters to join the four men where they stood, clearly speaking amongst each other. You couldn’t show the rushing adrenaline coursing through you, not if you wanted to get away alive.

“Ach, there ye are, dove,” Soap huffed in annoyance, grabbing hold of your bicep to surge you towards him. You collided with his side, knocking the air out of your lungs. “Yer with me.”

“Stick with Soap,” Price ordered. His glare sent chills down your spine. “You are to get what you need under his watch. Try anythin’ funny and he won’t be so kind with you.”

“She’s fine, Cap, no need to worry. She won’t do anythin’ silly. Ain’t that right, dove?” Soap beamed, a touch of crazy leering down at you.

The plan in your head was beginning to feel too soon and too dangerous. You could only swallow nervously, giving a firm nod in return before they helped guide you off of the ship.

The town was lively around you. It was nothing like your home. Where you had grown with the quiet chirps of nature and gentle conversation, you were now greeted with an angry bustle of rushing townsfolk, brushing past you as if you were a ghost.

You felt out of touch with your surroundings. Others were dressed in fresh fabrics, altered to their frame. The women were pretty, hair unmatted and braided to frame their lovely faces while the men were covered from head to toe with the finest of coats.

Not all were as fortunate. There were a select few you caught glimpses of as you passed who were as dirty as you were, shoeless and hopeless. Begging for scraps of food or cheap coins, only to be spat on like the scum of the Earth.

You were no different. Next to Soap, you looked like a helpless, little mouse with dirty bags of fabric that fell loosely on your body, with your feet blackened from the lack of cover. It was utterly humiliating.

Soap kept a solid grip on your arm as he led you through the heaps of shoppers. He kept his eyes forward, scoping out any possible threat. You could see the hardwired focus geared in his brain, as if working on pure muscle memory.

“Pretty neat of a place, aye?” Soap asked, attempting small talk. He glanced over at you, wearing that boyish grin of his.

“It’s wonderful,” you replied, taking in the sights.

You meant it. Shops lined every corner of the dirt paths, windows displaying pretty dresses or tailored suits. Where you expected the town to look depressing, you found color, filling you with a warm dose of serenity.

This was a town you could grow to love. It was busy and loud, but the opportunity seeped out through every corner, calling your name. Your freedom rang out like a bell, offering you a place for your dreams to come true.

You had to escape if you truly wanted it. Your plan would have to unfold, even if it meant being patient.

“Yer bound to see a whole lot more towns better than this one, dove,” Soap boasted, grinning with pride. “Ye will grow to accept us one day.”

You stared up at Soap while the two of you walked. It was a shame, really, that he was the only one decently kind to you. Kind was far too generous of a word to describe any of these men, but it was the closest thing to what Soap was being towards you.

He was still a pirate, though.

“I am not so sure of that,” you confessed, unsure of why you did.

“Ach, ye will. The rest are secretly a bunch of softies,” he claimed, waving a dismissive hand. “We’re still human even if we’re pirates.”

“You’ve kidnapped me,” you stated.

“Mm. Yes.”

“You burned down my home,” you continued.

“Perhaps.”

“You killed my people,” you finished.

“You know nothin’ of what we do, dove. How about we keep shoppin’ for ye and stop worryin’ about the past?” Soap asked, not unkindly. He was surprisingly composed despite your accusations.

You stared at him for a moment longer before looking away. There was no point in arguing when the plan was to escape the moment you had the chance. Today would be the last day you’d ever have to converse with Soap and his men, if you played your cards right.

“You’re right,” you said quietly. “I apologize.”

“There ye go, dove.” Soap returned to smiling, giving a mocking pinch to your grimy cheek. “Now, what all do ye need?”

Soap made escape increasingly difficult. His hand remained secure around your arm for every shop you went in, keeping you by his side. It was as if he had a secret sense that let him know of your plans. Or perhaps he was following Price’s orders.

He stuck with you with every purchase. You gathered herbs, freshly made medicines, and a new book and quill to jot down notes in a journal. Soap allowed you the pleasure of collecting expensive items, unwavered by the prices.

He paid for them in gold, little round coins he’d slap on to the counter and leave behind without waiting for the shop tenant to gawk at such a rare sight of payment.

It wasn’t until you passed a clothing shop did he falter. His steps had stopped, eyes peering into the window. You stopped with him, dissecting his reaction.

“Sorry, dove. Makin’ a stop for myself,” he stated, tugging you into the shop. To your surprise, he let go of your arm, leaving you standing near the entrance. “Stay put. I’m trustin’ ye, so don’t make me regret it, aye?”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you gave him a nod. He threw you a beaming smile before stalking off into the store, disappearing just out of sight. You remained firm in place, hands clasping in front of you.

The pit in your stomach twisted from the nerves that wracked you. This was your moment, your only chance of escape. If you didn’t take it now, you may never be lucky enough for another one.

As if fate was sealing itself, your eyes caught sight of a group of guards walking past the store, wooden rifles at the ready on their shoulders. They were speaking amongst themselves, oblivious to your inner turmoil from where you stood in the entrance of the shop.

A quick glance behind you showed that Soap was still occupied, unbeknownst to your plan. You could only see the top of his head, the messy mohawk sticking out like a sore thumb.

With the opportunity in front of you, you took it.

You moved slowly at first. Unsure, cautious. But once you made it out of the shop with Soap realizing, you amped your speed. Your dirty bare feet clambered clumsily along the dusty streets, digging into the little pebbles that littered them.

The dull sting of pain as you sprinted to the guards was disregarded. It was nothing compared to the ache of freedom you desired.

“Hello!” you shouted, garnering their attention. They turned, eyeing you with a judgmental glint at the state of you. “Please, I need help!”

“What can we do for you?” one of the guards asked, suspicious. His eyes were set on your feet, which were caked with months of filth. “A lass like you shouldn’t be out without a chaperone.”

“You don’t understand,” you gasped, catching your breath from the anxiety that rattled you like a drum. “I’ve been kidnapped by— by pirates and I’ve only just escaped. Please, I need your help, or they will take me back.”

“Pirates?” The guards perked up, glancing between one another as if sharing a secret you were unaware of. “How many pirates, lass?”

“Four,” you explained. “The Captain— his name is John Price. He is the one that took me from my village and I have been imprisoned on his ship for so long, I do not recall the days. Will you help me?”

You were frantic. Desperate. It showed in the way your voice shook, the way your frame shivered with nerves.

“It is not,” Guard Two said to his companion.

“It is,” Guard One said, the one who had spoken to you first. This time, they spoke to one another rather than to you, as if you were invisible. “There is only one Captain Price. It is 141.”

Guard Two looked over at you, face set firm. His eyes were piercing and cold, and it made you shrink down into yourself. They were not welcoming or kind like you expected a guard’s to be.

Guard One fumbled in the pocket of his britches before pulling out an aged paper. On it were the faces of the pirates with the exception of Ghost, covered by his signature mask. All of them were plastered on the page with a bounty over their heads, as well as a promise of exile for their arrest.

Execution. The pirates would be executed publicly if they were caught. The punishment was inked in bold letters beneath their pictures, and each letter was taunting you with the blood that would be spilled on your hands for turning them in.

An unsettling guilt began to gnaw at you. You were unsure of why. Captain Price and his crew had stolen you from your home and made you their medic. They had you sleeping in a cell for nights uncounted, eating slop out of a bowl like a dog.

Yet, to kill them was much too burdening on you. They were mean, heartless, and unworthy. Yet, death was unkind. You were not so shallow.

“Is this what they look like?” Guard One asked, holding the paper in front of you. It was undoubtedly them, down to every detail.

“Yes,” you confirmed, though not as confidently as before. There was now a weight in your tone, as if holding back. “Yes, that’s them. You— you will kill them once you find them?”

Guard Two laughed, though it was bone chilling. There wasn’t a hint of warmth in it, only distaste and rage. “Of course. They’re to be hanged for their crimes. They are savages.”

He took a step closer to you, leaning down to your level. His aura was threatening, and you could feel yourself cowering away. “You must tell us where they are at once. We will help you once we have captured them.”

You took a step back, deflating. Everything within you told you that you made a mistake. If you went through with exposing their whereabouts and having them captured, their deaths would be because of you. You would be a murderer.

“I—“ You swallowed, clenching your clammy hands into nervous fists. “I do not know where they’ve gone. I ran away as soon as I could.”

“Not a problem,” Guard One gruffed, taking hold of your arm, just as Soap had done before. Now, more than ever, a part of you wished it was Soap rather than the guard. “You will guide us to their ship.”

“Please let go of me,” you murmured brokenly, covering the guard’s hand with your own to pry his fingers off. They didn’t budge. “Please.”

Your pleas were shadowed by their greed. You recognized the look in their eyes, and it scared you to the bone.

Bloodthirst. They were hungry to capture the pirates, hungry to be the ones to guide them to their impending death. It was not about helping you. It was about the handsome reward they would receive for turning in the most wanted criminals of the sea.

You began to panic. The air in your lungs felt weak, and you could feel the world around you closing in.

This was not the outcome you wanted. You simply wanted your freedom, yet it would come with a cost that you weren’t sure you could afford.

You did the only thing you could think of doing. Your fist collided with the guard’s face with a nasty crunch, causing blood to spew from his nose like a spout. It speckled on your dirty cheeks, tainting them further.

The guard let out a shout, releasing your arm. When his companion attempted to make a grab for you, you bolted, legs carrying you back to the shop Soap had been left in.

Chaos ensued from behind you. You could hear the clamber of guards, racing after you, yelling profanities in the air. The townsfolk stopped to observe, women placing their hands over their mouths in bewilderment, men torn between watching or intervening.

It was a commotion you never planned on starting, and now, all eyes were on you.

Soap came into sight from in front of the store. He looked focused and angry, eyebrows pulled together, jaw set taut. When he locked in on you as well as the guards behind you, there was no relief. His eyes were as intense as the guards had been, if not more.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” you sobbed pathetically, but he gave you no chance to pause your running.

Soap grabbed your hand in his, lugging you along the dirt paths. He swerved the streets, pulling your arm harder every time you fell behind. You struggled to keep up, spots of blood dotting the ground beneath you from the newly open wounds from pebbles that sliced open the soles of your feet.

You were pulled into a narrow alleyway with Soap, out of sight from the guards. Soap’s large hand shoved your head, urging you to crouch down behind a row of barrels that crowded the alley.

Your heart was nearly lurching out of your chest from your hiding space. Pounding footsteps raced past the alley, a cloud of dust filling the air and burning your nose. Voices could be heard shouting nearby, but not close enough for you to make out what they were saying.

Soap and you stayed put, his hand muffling your mouth, body smothering yours. He held his breath, ears listening in for the guards.

After what felt like an eternity, the footsteps grew farther away, voices fading into the wind.

“I trusted ye to stay put, dove,” Soap whispered, voice full of anger and betrayal. “I’ve been nice to ye. Why couldn’t ye just stay like I told ye?”

You whimpered into his hand, low and depressing. You felt defeated. Your fate was undetermined more than ever before, and you feared what the pirates would truly do to you now that you went against their word.

“C’mon,” he huffed, letting go of you and standing from behind the barrels. He grabbed hold of your arm, hauling you up and keeping you in his grip.

Soap crept the two of you through the town, slipping through every crack in the buildings to remain unseen. If people saw you, they remained silent, fearful of the pirate amidst their town.

The closer the two of you got to the ship, the more your heart sunk to your stomach. You were wracked with terror, horrified of the punishment you’d endure. The only thing you could do is let Soap string you along like a puppy on a leash.

“We need to go,” Soap barked at Price. The other men had long returned from their shopping, only awaiting your arrival with Soap. “Now.”

Gaz fluttered away without question, preparing to undock the ship and leave no trail in the town behind. Price and Ghost, on the other hand, were far more concerned.

“What the hell happened?” Ghost asked, voice gruff and dark, eyes narrowed on you.

“Dove tried rattin’ us out,” Soap hissed, throwing a glare your way. You shrunk in his hold, avoiding his eyes and bowing your head low. “Guards are lookin’ high and low. They know we’re here.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” Ghost grunted, leaving the three of you to aid Gaz in prepping the ship for sail. He walked with a looming shadow over him, black and scary, oozing out the mist of pure acrimony.

Price stood tall and terrifying, arms crossed over his chest, the lines of his face firm and tight. He stared at you with a guise of disappointment and resentment, and if looks could kill, you would surely be one of their many victims.

The Captain took a step towards you, leaning down to your height. His hand grabbed hold of your face, fingers digging into your flesh as he forced you to look at him. His eyes were glaring, stabbing you with millions of daggers.

He shifted your head from side to side, inspecting the specks of blood that dotted your face. He was silent, making everything much more unnerving, and when he let go of you, he spared you not another glance.

“Take her to the cell,” Price ordered Soap. “We’ll deal with it later.”

Soap nodded grimly, tugging your arm aggressively so he could guide you to the brig doors. The sight of them made you sick, and you fought in his hold, which did nothing but make you look like a fool.

“Stop squirmin’,” he hissed, irritated. Seeing him without his signature smile made your chest fill with sickening guilt, and it twisted your insides in a painful knot.

The cell welcomed you when you stepped down familiar stairs. It was a slap in the face, seeing it once again, and you wanted nothing more than to take back everything you’d done and apologize to Price until he let you back into the comfort of his quarters.

But there was no going back. The deed was done. This was your price for freedom, and before it was handed to you, it had been snatched right out of your hands.

Soap shoved you into the cell with enough force to ensure you went inside, but gentle enough to make sure you didn’t topple over. Even now, when you’d betrayed his trust, he didn’t aim to hurt you. The pill was suffocating to swallow.

The cell shutting behind you rattled through your ears like a deafening shriek. The lock clicked, and Soap made no effort to move, not yet. Instead, he stood there, eyes boring into you through the bars of your cage.

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. So, you stood shamefully, staring at the floor beneath your aching feet.

Something clattered on the floor, and when you shifted your gaze to find it, what stared back at you was a pair of shoes. New, unworn, and pretty. For you.

Looking up at Soap, his expression was unreadable. He no longer looked at you. He seemed just ashamed as you did. It was as if all the anger he had before had diminished, and he now looked like a hurt boy, betrayed and ridiculed.

“I hope they fit,” he said quietly. While you stared at him, he was now the one avoiding looking at you. “Didn’t know what ye liked.”

Soap turned on his heel, trudging up the stairs with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He made no effort to look back at you, to study your stunned expression. Instead, what greeted you was his back as it filtered through the brig doors, shutting behind him with a loud slam.

You looked back at the shoes, careful when you picked them up. They were bland in taste, yet the prettiest thing you’d been gifted in your life.

Soap trusted you to stay while he went to surprise you with a new pair of shoes, and you had only gone behind his back out of fear of his pirate crew that had taken you from your home.

You felt no better than a pirate.

[helenofsparta2]

Having the whole plot between Nico and Percy be resolved simply with “You’re not my type” in Blood of Olympus was such a huge disservice to both characters

They are pivotal parts to each others journey. No person in PJO influenced Nico as much as Percy did, aside from Bianca, and no person represents Percy’s guilt and the responsibility he had to shoulder more than Nico does. The writing for both characters really suffers through this lack of a real satisfying resolution.

First to talk about what Percy represents for Nico:

Percy, first of all, represents Nico’s introduction to the mythological world

He is the first demigod Nico ever came in contact with

He saved him and Bianca from the manticore (somewhat)

Nico stated in Blood of Olympus than Percy had reminded of the heroes of his mythomagic game come to life

Nico wholeheartedly believed that Bianca would be safe, if Percy was with her and created this image of the perfect hero in his mind, putting Percy on a pedestal

2.

In Nico’s mind Percy is irrevocably intertwined with Bianca and everything that happened to her

Despite Nico naively believing, that Bianca would be safe if Percy were around, he was instead the last person to ever talk to her, and present when she died

Percy informed Nico of her death (Dead silence. I stared at Chiron. I couldn’t believe nobody had told him yet. Then I realized why. They’d been waiting for us to appear, to tell Nico in person, Titan’s curse)

Nico turned him into the scapegoat for her death, so that he could let all his grief and anger and bitterness out on him

Bianca sent Iris-messages to Percy, so that he would find and help Nico (“Percy has been worried about you, Nico. He can help. I let him see what you were up to, hoping he would find you.”, Battle of the Labyrinth)

Her ghost only appeared to Nico when Percy was with him

Percy is the only person Nico knows of, who also grieved for Bianca (“Bianca,” I said. My voice was thick. I’d felt guilty about her death for a long time but seeing her in front of me was five times as bad, like her death was fresh and new. I remembered searching through the wreckage of the giant bronze warrior she’d sacrificed her life to defeat, and not finding any sign of her. “I’m so sorry,” I said. Battle of the Labyrinth)

3.

Percy is the person who protected and cared for Nico more than anyone else in pjo

Tried to convince Bianca to think more deeply about her decision of joining the hunters, especially thinking of him (“Biance, this is crazy,” I said. “What about your brother? Nico can’t be a hunter.” (Titan’s curse)

Searched the woods in the dark for hours after he had disappeared (Annabeth and Grover helped me search the woods for hours, but there was no sign of Nico di Angelo.)

Didn’t tell Chiron about Nico’s parentage to protect him from the Gods. (I don't think Nico understands who he is. But we can't go telling anyone. Not even Chiron. If the Olympians find out—") Titan’s curse)

Decided to completely commit to the prophecy, solely so Nico didn’t have to bear that burden and go trough any more suffering(It was the last thing I wanted, but I didn't say that. I knew I had to step up and claim it. "I can't let Nico be in any more danger," I said. "I owe that much to his sister. I… let them both down. I'm not going to let that poor kid suffer any more." ) Titan’s curse)

Searched for Nico in the months after Titan’s Curse (Now, six months later, I hadn’t even come close to finding him. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. Battle of the labyrinth, chapter 3))

Saved his life on Geryon’s farm. (“Either way, you get my friends,” I said. “But, if I succeed, you’ve got to let all of us go, including Nico.”)

Always offered Nico a place at camp half-blood to the best of his abilities (“We missed you at dinner,” I said. “You could’ve sat with me.”“No.”“Nico, you can’t miss every meal. If you don’t want to stay with Hermes, maybe they can make an exception and put you in the big house. They’ve got plenty of room.”, Battle of the Labyrinth)

Invited him to join him on his birthday (“Is that… is that blue birthday cake?”He sounded hungry, maybe a little wistful. I wondered if the poor kid had ever had a birthday party, or if he’d ever been invited to one. “Come inside for cake and ice cream,” I said. “It sounds like we’ve got a lot to talk about.”, Battle of the Labyrinth)

Reminded him that he was still a child (I smiled. “Maybe it’s okay to still be a kid once in a while.” I tossed him the statue, Battle of the Labyrinth)

Helped him to get the sword of hades back to impress his father (Then I looked at Nico. Unfortunately, I recognised the expression on his face. I knew what it was like wanting to make your dad proud, even if your dad was hard to love., Sword of hades)

Acknowledged everything Nico did in The last Olympian and is one of the main reasons why Hades has a cabin at camp. ( “But your children should not be left out. They should have a cabin at camp. Nico has proven that.”)

4.

Percy was Nico’s first, and after Will, his biggest love

Nico had feelings for Percy, which didn’t leave him for around 2 1/2 years, and accompanied him throughout the most challenging parts of his life. 

Feelings, which were so deep, the god of love personally acknowledged them.

Favonius even called Percy, the person Nico cares about most in House of Hades.

This was more than just a mere crush

Percy is so completely intertwined with most aspects of Nico’s character arc, in both PJO and Hoo, be it his feeling of ostracism, his relationship to Bianca or him coming to term with his own sexuality, that them not having a final interaction, makes his writing feel shallow and unfinished. Especially Nico coming to terms with his crush on Percy opens up the opportunity for a really heartwarming conversation and a moment of character growth and maturity for both of them, instead of it being wasted on one throw-away line.

And it’s the same the other way around. Nico is also a huge part of Percy’s journey.

He especially represents Percy’s biggest failure.

The first five Percy Jackson books are characterized by Percy having to take up responsibility and him being afraid of not being able to fulfill them. Be it responsibility for camp, the world, Bianca’s death, the prophecy, his friends, teh unclaimed demigods, or everything else. Most of the time, Percy was able to make sure everything turned out fine. He saved camp, he saved Olympus, he finished his quests, made the right decision for the prophecy, and he made the gods swear upon teh styx. But there’s one exception. And that is Nico.

Percy did everything in his power to make sure Nico would be spared any more hardships. He took up the burden of the prophecy, explicitly, so that Nico doesn’t have to go through any more hardships

He searched for him after Titan’s curse, kept his identity a secret and even risked himself, Annabeth, Grover and Tyson dying if it meant saving Nico

Still, Nico is one of the characters, if not the character, who has suffered the most in PJO and Hoo, even partly because of Percy (though, of course, Nico having a crush on him was not Percy’s fault at all)

He lived alone at 11 years old on the streets and in the labyrinth, while getting manipulated by an ancient evil spirit

He was isolated and ostracized at camp half-blood

He experienced the horrors of Tartarus completely on his own

He got captured by the giants and slowly suffocated to death in a small jar

He had to deal with internalized homophobia and his complicated feelings regarding Percy

He has been a vital part of two wars at only 15 years old

Had to admit his crush involuntarily in front of Jason, etc.  

One of the things Percy battles with in Heroes of Olympus is this overwhelming sense of guilt. He blames himself for almost everything that went wrong over the last few years. Be it for Iapetus, Calypso, or especially Nico. Having Percy acknowledge this complicated relationship he has with him during House of Hades, but not allowing the two of them to talk it out is genuinely baffling to me, and one of the (albeit many) reasons why I really don’t like most of Percy’s writing during Heroes of Olympus, despite the fact that he is my favourite character by far. This could have led to a moment of character growth, where Nico helps Percy to aknowledge that he feels guilty for things he had little to no control over, while Nico himself realizes how important he actually is to Percy.

They are also so similar in terms of who they are and what they’ve been through, that even if you ignore their history with each other, it seems insane, that they didn’t interact in any meaningful way:  

Both were ostracized at camp half-blood because of their parentage, and so far are the only two half-bloods we know of with that experience

They are (together with Hazel) the most powerful demigods in the Riordan verse, and have feats which far surpass anyone else’s

Both are in some way afraid of their powers

Both went through Tartarus

Both have relatively similar relationships to their godly parents

Both have gone through immense trauma and loss

And if you read heroes of Olympus, it actually very much seems to build towards a final resolution of their relationship

Percy and Nico were, aside from Frank, the two people closest to Hazel; both saw her as a little sister, and Hazel treated them both like her brothers

Nico was the first person Percy met from his old life

Percy was the one, who received the visions of Nico being captured

From everyone present, Percy trusted Nico to lead the others to Greece in his moment of greatest desperation

They both had introspections about the other in house of Hades, Nico having to deal with his crush and Percy with his guilt in Tartarus

But, in the end, after they met again, nothing happened. The only scene we really got was the “You’re not my type” line and Percy being surprised by it for a couple seconds. That’s it.

We saw no meaningful conversation between the two of them, no acknowledgement of what they’ve been through together, no lasting feelings. Nothing.

In regards to their relationship, Percy acknowledging everything that Nico has been through led to nothing. Nico acknowledging his feelings for Percy and finally letting go of this pedestal he had placed him on led to nothing. You could argue that their entire relationship, which has been built up since Titan’s curse led to nothing. And considering that they are so important characters for each of their character arcs, their characterization very much suffers from this writing decision.

The two of them, together with Hazel, are my three favourite Riordan verse characters by a long shot, but some very important aspects of both of their characters fall so flat to me through this lack of a satisfying resolution.

 Both of them deserved so much better.  

They are the friendship with the most missed potential in the entirety of the Riordan verse and probably the most fleshed out and nuanced relationship Rick ever wrote.

R.I.P.  Nico di Angelo, and Percy Jackson, you will always be brothers in my mind.

[sankta-alina-s]

Alina toyed with the cloth napkin in her lap as Aleksander shared his thoughts with her. "I'm not sure, exactly," she admitted. "I know I'm not strong enough to tear it down yet, but I imagine I would be able to summon enough light to protect a skiff."

At least, Alina knew she would be able to produce enough light for a time. She hadn't a clue how long the actual journey would take or if her light could withstand the trip there and back.

"I was thinking you might be able to help me if I falter?"

There was something rude to her about asking her husband for his amplification but, if caught between life or death, she knew it would have to be done.

"But I don't plan on needing the assistance."

Aleksander shrugged, his expression thoughtful, pensive. Even as he watched her from across the small table, picking at some of his own food, his own drink.

❝ Well I suppose someone has to carry the conversation at times. Things do tend to be very, very quiet when it is only Ivan and myself. ❞ Which was a vast understatement, as a matter of fact. Aleksander didn't think the Heartrender had uttered more than two words all afternoon.

As the conversation shifted towards tomorrow, however, Aleksander's movements grew slower. His gaze drifted from the plates, the glasses, settling on Alina. As if he needed to weigh the words that would be uttered carefully.

❝ There will be a small group crossing on one of the newer models tomorrow morning, yes. ❞ It hadn't initially been planned for the morning, but rather a few days from now in the beginning. Aleksander, however, sought to speed things along.

Especially considering there were those who assured him that the skiff could make it safely across--a fact he doubted, but he was curious.

❝ Going inside... It is not an easy task. And you're right, you've never even been near the Fold, much less deep in its depths. Now, I know you are not yet ready to tear it down, but how strong is your light at this point, Alina? ❞

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

heyy, I just saw the first episode of season two and I’m completely destroyed. I need to read something with Jacaerys in which reader gives him a hug after what happened 🫶🏻

Request: Helloooo! I saw you were open to requests sooo with this episode- how about instead of Baela being the one to take Jace to Rheanyra, its reader who had been waiting for him since he landed? Jace x reader relationship is up to you!

I have written this a few weeks ago, but let's do a small blurb. Seeing Jace break was just so sad. Grab your tissues 🤧

Warnings: mention of character death, grief

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

On the journey back to Dragonstone, Jacaerys swallowed back his tears. Vermax could feel that his rider was in pain, but he stayed focused on flying home. 

Although you couldn’t predict when they would arrive, you knew Jacaerys would fly home immediately upon receiving the letter. 

You greeted him outside when he landed, but Jacaerys refused to meet your eyes, focussing on princely duties because he could not bear to face his role as brother and son in that moment. He spoke like a prince, asking to be taken to the Queen so he could give her his report. 

Without speaking a word, you walked him to Rhaenyra’s chambers. The guards opened the door for you, nodding their heads at the prince. As you stepped inside, Rhaenyra turned at the sound of your footsteps on the stone floor. 

You bowed to the Queen, casting a last glance on Jacaerys before you left the room. ‘’You know where to find me,’’ you whispered to him, your voice barely audible. 

He didn’t respond. 

While he spoke to his mother about the Vale and the North, Jacaerys was trying to remain professional and keep his composure. He needed to stay strong for her. His voice was steady until he mentioned the North. The name of Cregan Stark brought back the images of the northman delivering the news of Lucerys’s death, causing Jacaerys to choke up on his words.

Rhaenyra held her eldest and they cried together. 

When he thought the tears were over, Jacaerys left his mother’s chambers. Servants were politely nodding their head at him on his way to his own chambers, a veil of sympathy on their faces. But Jacaerys paid them no attention as his emotions were threatening to spill again. 

As promised, you were sitting on his — your — chambers when he stepped in, waiting for him. You stood when hearing the door, and he broke down completely, his body shaking with sobs as he collapsed into your arms. 

You held Jacaerys tightly as he sobbed uncontrollably, his grief pouring out with each shuddering breath. 

You always knew him as the strong son of Princess Rhaenyra who held his head high and never let anything affect him. The strength he usually exuded was gone, replaced by the vulnerability of a boy who had lost his brother. It was gut-wrenching to see him cry, his hands clutching at your dress to anchor himself through the storm of his emotions.

‘’He died because of me,’’ he whispered between sobs, his voice raw with pain. ‘’It was my idea to go on dragonback instead of sending ravens.’’ 

Guilt laced his voice, and you pulled his head back, seeing his eyes red and swollen. You knew no words would stop his guilt. He would have to live with his for the rest of his life. But you could try to show him he was not entirely at fault. It was Vhagar at the commands of Aemond targaryen who killed Lucerys. Not him.

‘’Mayhaps it was your idea, but you couldn’t have known Aemond would be at Storm’s End asking for support from Borros Baratheon. He is the one responsible for this barbarous act,’’ you said, holding his gaze.

—

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[sensualnoiree]

wealth indicators in astrology

The 2nd House and its Ruler The 2nd house rules personal wealth, income, possessions, and material resources. A well-placed ruler of the 2nd house (in dignified signs or making favorable aspects) can signify strong potential for financial success. Wealth in this house is not just about material resources, but also about how we value ourselves, our talents, and our ability to manifest abundance through self-worth.

Jupiter and Venus (Benefics) in Key Positions Jupiter represents expansion, luck, and abundance, while Venus governs pleasure, wealth, and beauty. Their placement in angular houses (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th) or making harmonious aspects (trines and sextiles) can indicate financial prosperity. Jupiter and Venus bring grace and fortune, but their spiritual lesson often revolves around generosity and the willingness to share abundance. Wealth is also cultivated through relationships and faith in higher principles.

The 8th House and its Ruler The 8th house deals with shared resources, investments, inheritance, and other people's money. A strong 8th house or a well-placed ruler can suggest gains through partnerships, inheritance, or financial support from others. Wealth from the 8th house comes through deep, transformative experiences and often asks for a surrender of control. It's the wealth of vulnerability and trust, leading to shared material or emotional resources.

Strong Earth Sign Placements (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) Earth signs are practical and grounded, making them naturally inclined toward building wealth through hard work, perseverance, and material stability. Earth placements teach the lessons of patience, discipline, and respect for the physical world. Wealth is accumulated over time through effort and practical application, but it also reflects our connection to the body and the material environment.

Pluto and Transformation of Wealth Pluto is often associated with power, control, and transformation. When in aspect to the 2nd or 8th house or their rulers, Pluto can signify major transformations in one’s financial situation—often through crises or periods of intense regeneration. Pluto teaches that true wealth is the result of deep inner transformation. Pluto forces us to face our attachments to material security and transforms our relationship to wealth through cycles of death and rebirth.

North Node in the 2nd or 8th House The North Node in the 2nd or 8th house suggests that the soul’s evolutionary journey involves learning how to master finances, resources, and self-worth. The North Node points to the soul’s spiritual work. Wealth accumulated in these areas is not just about money, but about understanding one’s true purpose and karmic lessons related to material possessions.

Saturn in the 2nd or 10th House Saturn represents discipline, structure, and long-term success. In the 2nd or 10th house, it often points to delayed but enduring financial stability through consistent effort and hard work. Saturn teaches us that wealth is earned through time and dedication. It can also represent karmic lessons around financial responsibility and the maturation process necessary for true success.

Venus-Jupiter Aspects Harmonious aspects between Venus and Jupiter are considered one of the best indicators of financial prosperity, as these are the two most beneficial planets. While this aspect can indicate material wealth, it also highlights spiritual abundance and the capacity for joy, love, and appreciation of life’s pleasures. It's a reminder that wealth is more than money—it's the richness of life.

MC (Midheaven) and Career-Related Indicators The MC, 10th house, and its ruler are tied to one’s public image, career, and long-term achievements. Favorable planets in the 10th or supportive aspects to the MC can point to career success and financial gain. Success comes through aligning with one's higher calling and being of service. True wealth is found in fulfilling a vocation that resonates with one's spiritual purpose.

Favorable Aspects between the 2nd and 10th Houses Harmonious connections between the 2nd and 10th houses or their rulers can signify the ability to generate wealth through career pursuits. Career and personal values must align for wealth to be truly sustainable. There’s a spiritual dimension to finding purpose in work that also brings material rewards.

follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or my etsy --> sensualnoiree to grab my new astrology guidebook on reading your own natal chart :)

[hungwy]

if your country has or could have commuter trains would you take a train to a destination cooly without thinking much of it OR would you play it a little coy whenever the train shows up to the platform and flashes open its sexy little doors at you yearning for your attention for you to fall into its mouth but you look away seemingly uninterested and as it closes its doors defeated and leaves the station and you catch a glimpse of all the seats and handles and even tables in some compartments and as it pulls away you allow yourself to shudder with pleasure at the sound of the engine and you think about what it would be like to get consumed by this megafaunal steel block so you show up to the station day after day never quite getting onto the train but giving it just enough teasing to build the tension between you and this 500 ton beast of steel and plastic and you want to be trapped like a little fly inside its maw and explore its teeth and throat and trachea and into its stomach and feel yourself dissolve into the walls and become one with it but that can't happen just yet maybe it can never happen and it certainly cant be of your own volition to step in and get swallowed because whats important to you is that the chase never ends whats important is that it can never catch you or else the fun is over it can never stuff you into its jaws because its locked into a destiny of eternal edging unless you give it release and you stand at its precipice with its teeth and tongue and lips slick with oily salivation but you never quite fall no matter how much the poor trapped train flaps its stupid pathetic flimsy doors and coaxes you with the desperate voice inside the cabin announcing arrivals and departures no what really gets you off is the cruelty of it all the way you can burden it with human desires far beyond its own capacity to form them the way you can transform its dutiful burden of carrying passengers to and fro into a frustrating hateful drive of pleasure and you hope that one day it'll slide off its steel guides and finally squish you like the bug you are like a little defenseless prey-thing so naughty for having teased it for so long you want utter annihilation at the hands of a great big nasty oily puffing charging engine with no care for its own life just solely wholly focused on getting you in, on, or around it and you want to make sure both you and the train become so twisted by the chase that the pleasure awaiting you at the destination can no longer be distinguished from the pain of the journey and the hedonism just keeps adapting to baser and baser wishes until sex and death are a singular simultaneous yearning? which one would you pick