#it's about insecure people wanting to engage in fandom

[worstsequence]

[xcziel]

sometimes i am just struck by how happy i am to only go on twitter when linked to specific posts and to curate my dash

like i never really see any actual discourse, just the occasional reasonable person i am in contact with complaining about encountering discourse

[sitp-recs]

re - your last post, as a writer i find that to be an absurd take. people who write exclusively for validation probably shouldn't. if discovering your work is enjoyed and loved - just privately - is a dealbreaker for you, i think there are probably bigger issues that need to be worked through. the idea that we write fic for free and yet this discussion about "payment" through kudos/comments persists is so backwards and obnoxious.

sorry to tag you on this, obv you have nothing to do with op, but i just wanted to say - as a writer recs are a HUGE deal. to know that you liked something enough to share it with others is the biggest compliment for me personally. thanks for doing what you do.

I’m happy you reached out because this is a really interesting perspective. I definitely see increased messaging around comments = payment that pressures readers into thinking they are required to leave comments, and I agree that there are many layers to this convo that point out to a not-so-healthy relationship with fandom.

I find it hard to join this discussion not being an author myself, because I only have the privileged perspective. I understand how important feedback can be to boost newcomers and those who don’t feel part of the community. We all deal with insecurity in different ways and it’s hard to navigate a big fandom when you don’t have a group of friends to rely on. In the end the fandom experience is about a sense of belonging and it saddens me to realize that I might be part of the problem since my recs can only reach Tumblr and my ao3 comments are far and few in between.

It’s funny because my blog has always targeted other readers: at the beginning I didn’t even tag authors and did not expect them to find or engage with my posts. Over the years the recs became more and more personal, until I realized I was writing them for myself. Sure, they are love letters to the fic and might help more people find them, but at the end of the day this is my little therapy corner where I can let go and babble around to my heart’s content 🙏🏼 I’ve always been proud of this blog and seeing that post gave me mixed feelings about it for the first time, so thank you for your message!

Again, I think this discussion has many layers and I’m a bit wary to get involved being a reader, but I’d be curious to see how others feel about it…

[petday]

I make fandom art I make porn I make stuff that makes me miserable and I make stuff that makes me happy and I follow all the advice online but still nobody likes my art. I know it's good art and im not insecure about my talent level but no matter what I post or where I post it, nobody wants to like or interact with my art at all. I know people see it I know people are scrolling past without acknowledging what I make and it fucking sucks. I don't have friends to share stuff I make with and nobody online cares clearly. What do you do when nobody likes you or what you offer.

Good question. This response involves some of my history. I try to talk about my experiences at a comfortable distance. But please skip to the 'Solutions' part if you're bored.

My thoughts below:

It's painful. I have a lot of memories of high intensity pain due to no one engaging with me, at school and online. 'If I live in the same world as others, but it still feels like I am in a world with just myself, what is the point of trying to make things? Sure, I will feel better about myself as I grow, but I've still got no one to grow with, so I am just talking to myself. Amusing myself is fine, but I want to reach a level of fun above amusement, a level that others seem to reach so naturally.' 

In fact, maybe you are less 'outward' with your emotions, but as a child and teenager and young adult, there was a lot of screaming and crying and thrashing about 'not being granted the ability to make things others will seriously engage with me about.' 

(The pain remained after making a few friends during teenage years. The pain's attitude shifted slightly to accommodate this new life change of gaining friends. Much later, even after I became an artist with a large visible number of 'followers/people interested in something you make', the pain shifted its shape around this life change again. "People make bad assumptions of me because I have a big visible number in my profile and most websites do not give me the ability to hide that number." Summary: If your pain/frustration still remains after you gain a friend or find people who engage you, don't beat yourself up. Emotions don't work in such a way that the outcomes you desire are only guaranteed to make you happy and no other emotions will rise.)

Although I loved to look at art on websites since I was a child, one may assume I enjoyed the community aspect. I did, but only as a spectator for the vast majority of the time, since age restrictions and the harsh attitudes that exist to 'prevent the weak from touching the strong' was present in many of the sites I visited. Similar to how children get frustrated when another child cannot keep up with their play, but the child that is 'left out' can still enjoy watching other kids play from afar. It makes perfect sense to me these feelings will always exist in the world no matter what 'social media' websites people invent.

Anyway, two solution attempts in succession I tried over long-term:

1. My first attempt at a solution was immersing myself in a fantasy world I created in my mind and I held my imagination in high esteem. "I know my imagination takes influence from the things I read and admire, so it's not such a lonely world anyway." Creating episode lists of imaginary cartoon episodes and such, so dedicated to something I hardly told anyone about. It felt good. But my friends had original characters too, and they could describe their personalities and dynamics to others naturally and quickly, likely due to their earlier experiences with 'communicating ideas to others.' I was quiet and envious. Although it was fun to play with the imaginary characters in my head, I decided to take another step. Of course I could not simply go back in time to gain the similar social experiences my friends had. But I could use that desire to 'go back in time' to 'go forward in time' and gain the experience.

2. Engage in others first. Because I spent a long time in my imagination, I felt more secure about myself, so I wanted to extend the feeling of 'caring about my own work' to 'caring about others' work on an equal level.' The internet allows you to assess people before engaging to see if your compatibility might be okay. If someone had posts that resonated with me, I tried to say 'hello, I like what you posted/I like your drawing because [...]' Even if the contact ended there, it was a good practice. Gently communicate with people over time. Especially since I am sure there are people who rarely receive questions about their artworks who would love someone to engage with them as well. Of course do not do this in a 'pity' sense – you have to genuinely find something that 'touches your heart' and if the artist seems to not get much curiosity in regards to their art, you can go ahead and try to express your curiosity to them. Keep posting whatever you like, but if you engage with others, you may find someone engaging with you without even expecting it, and that is fun.

(I think society should practice finding genuine value in things they like even if they see nobody has touched it. Not pity, but removing the "does anyone else like this? If I see no one else liking this, it must be a bad thing to like, so I won't engage" attitude. Some of my favourite artwork has maybe 5 visible 'bookmarks/favorites' on an art-focused website.)

[biancadoes1]

I have a very long theory about the timeline and also L’s friends and family and what they know/knew while it was happening, and why things may have played out they way they did. (Not anything that violates their privacy, just some speculation about how things could have gone down that I think explains some things.)

I have been thinking most of this for a while, but that anon you had a while back claiming to work with a member of L’s family and what they were saying about N&L got me thinking. They may have just been a random person trolling, but I went back and read their previous post, and it seemed to imply the following:

L was in love with N, and wanted to date post filming, but N didn’t want to

L then got with A instead, and she became integrated into his friends and family group and they all liked her

All of this actually lines up with some fandom theories about what happened post-season 3, that they caught feelings and lines were blurred (L’s worlds about the blurring of lines, plus we’ve all seen the bts) and N wanted to take some time to separate from characters and make sure things were real. We’ve also speculated that L was hurt by whatever happened with N post-filming, and if that is the case could have caused his friends and family to be upset with N for the pain that he was experiencing. (My theory is that he was a fucking wreck if this is what happened because his feelings for N are anything but casual, and his friends and family had to deal with that/put him back together.) Don’t forget that L was also dealing with the end of a long term relationship almost simultaneously to “losing” Nic who I also think he had feelings for from day one, and I think everyone probably knew that his feelings for N had likely impacted/ended his relationship with J, and now N was stepping back from a relationship with him at that time, leaving him a mess.

So let’s say all of this has happened, and L went off the rails and swore off N, had his HBS and jumped into something with A (maybe with R’s help) and she made him feel better/boosted his confidence and he integrated her quickly into his life and his friends and family were all happy that he seemed happy and stable, and then… reshoots/press/tour happened.

I think N&L realized very quickly after reuniting that they still had feelings for each other and decided to move forward with a serious relationship because they knew they were it for each other, but they kept it a big secret even from people very close to them, and especially from anyone L knew wouldn’t be supportive or would try to talk him out of it after all that had gone on. He didn’t bring them into the circle, so they didn’t know what was going on. All they saw was what we saw, which is the interviews and press they were doing, which could be played off as PR, but they were also probably concerned about how close they were getting again. This could be why his sister/family seemed to be involved with A coming to the premiere to interfere what seemed to be happening, because everyone was concerned about him getting personally involved with N again and the impact that could have on him. The interaction with N was orchestrated to remind her that A was still there and mark her territory/intimidate her. L was reportedly upset/had an altercation with A at that event, and I think that after party N&L hug was her comforting him. However was also see him being very territorial about N at the same event, maybe because was worried about losing her again/it felt precarious/he is a person who needs a lot of reassurance, especially after the last time, and I think because N might have withdrawn from him or acted different because A was there and that made him feel insecure.

By this point I think N&L had already decided to get married and L had proposed (Australia Truther/down on the knee part one.) Ring was ordered and a backstory created for it to hide the truth until they were ready to share. They were engaged when N jokingly proposed in Italy. She starts posting the “boyfriend” pics. Press tour continues and so does the charade. In Ireland, L meets/asks permission from N’s family and the offical proposal happens (Down on the knee part two). Everyone’s emotional when L meets her mom but N’s bro in law is still a little skeptical/protective about the situation and the fact they L still had this situationship on the side/his family doesn’t know yet. They are both emotional about the tour ending and L tears up when N mentions that they (C&P??) will be married when they return to set.

They plan to separate for the summer so that L can handle business on his end. By the London radio interviews, N is starting to get emotional and withdraw a bit because the tour is ending and she knows what’s coming. He tried to comfort/reassure her but the situation sucks all around. Since their relationship is a secret, their communication will be limited, but as long as she is wearing the ring, he know she is still in and waiting for him (song lyrics), which he needs after what happened last time. She plans to hint at a relationship with JD to help conceal the truth, a friend but someone L will not feel worried/jealous about but will help provide some cover.

By the London premiere, everyone on L’s side is super concerned at where this is going, and someone or maybe multiple people close to L conspire for the pap walk to occur. I think some members of L’s professional team might have been in the group if people who were not supportive of a N&L relationship and/or didn’t know about it and participated thinking it would be a good move for his image to be seen as dating A or separate professionally from N.

L still has professional/personal commitments with A and his friend group, which he carried out, but he was anxious and miserable the whole time. I think the Spain trip was part of this/before Sorrento. I hope at some point he told A and his friends the truth, but an NDA may have needed to be involved to keep her and the friend group from going scorched earth and spilling all of the tea. At some point, maybe Italy, L susses out who has been violating his privacy and severs some ties/comes clean/runs home to Nic.

I assume at some point he told his family but that it is still very under wraps and only a small circle knows the truth. Going back to that anon, some people (extended family) may still not know the truth and be very confused and judgemental about what they are seeing in the media (N&JD relationship speculation, N appearing to run around with a younger man after rejecting L).

August: Chaos week, bless the telephone, Drink Your Milk pic. I think they reunited and L was staying with N while A found other housing arrangements (she was either living with L previously or staying there was he was on tour and he had to deal with that.

Talk Talk while flashing the ring…

Sometime this fall, I believe they got married and it was very small and intimate. Rings changed hands, she put one on his finger too, and they’ve been quietly staying out of the public eye. He’s been supporting her from behind the scenes and being her Ken while deciding what is next for him professionally (musical theatre?). They’ve started filming for season 3 as Polin and are emotional about all that has transpired since the end of S3 filming (tears in their eyes in the S4 Polin pic) or perhaps about what they are filming or what is next for them and taking some time to enjoy their marriage privately before sharing it with the rest of the world.

That’s my version of this friends to lovers story based on the crumbs we’ve received, and as Luke would say “it seems appropriate.”

No notes.

What do you guys think?

Edit: after re-reading this anon really has me 👀

Edit after the edit: there is mention of family in this post - I don’t want to see anything negative about them in the discussion. Negative comments will be deleted and I will not accept asks speaking specifically about them.

Their families are not part of this ship.

[is-the-fire-real]

Another bit on the pro-Pal fandom, this one axiomatic

Being a good person is not the same thing as pretending as though you believe you are a good person.

Being a good person takes work. You have to do stuff. Doing stuff is hard. Doing good stuff is harder, because you have to put thought into determining what you think is good beforehand. That requires self-reflection, honesty, a willingness to challenge oneself, and taking in information from other people to verify that your concept of "good" is, well, good.

The nice part is that once you evaluate what is good and start doing good things, it becomes easier. You gain inner calm, peace, and even joy.

("Good" is not always the same as "necessary". Necessary work can be a slog, or it can be horrific. But there can still be a calming satisfaction at the core, the security that this is necessary and therefore worthwhile.)

Pretending to believe you are a good person takes less immediate work. You don't have to do anything that positively impacts the real world, and you don't have to do any of that annoying, time-consuming self examination. But in the long run, it's more exhausting. By far.

You are insecure about whether or not you are a good person. You're pretending to believe you are good. You can't feel secure in something you pretend to believe. That insecurity gnaws at you, especially when you engage in bad behavior--harassment, doxxing, posting gore, swarming tags, encouraging and promoting suicide among your fellow "activists", telling your opponents to kill themselves, stalking, spamming unrelated content with literal Nazi propaganda.

None of those are good things good people do. And you understand that. You would think someone was bad if they did those things to you. The cognitive dissonance between who you want to be and who you really are, as determined by your actions, is scary. It's painful. It rears up every time someone you have labeled a Zio colonizer scumbag asks you to please just stop and you remember a time when you begged someone--an abuser, a troll online, a 4channer, your parents--to just stop please just leave me alone.

That must feel terrifying, and again, it makes you insecure. It makes you question if you're doing the right thing.

So you do the work to pretend to believe you are good. And that's far more work than goes into being good.

You recruit others, and all of you agree that you will pretend together. Tabletop gaming has taught us how powerful this imaginative play can be. You all reassure each other that you are good and you are right. But since you're all lying to each other, that means you must spend more, and more, and more time every day telling each other that you are good, chasing that high, that feeling that you are a good person and your actions are justified.

You tell each other that your "opponents" in this "battle" are not people, so anything you say or do to and about them is okay. You look at lists of "dehumanizing tactics" and instead of internalizing what those lists are teaching you, you go: "Ah, so if I don't use the word 'vermin', anything I say should be fine!" And then you say it.

You do not smile over good news. You only smile when one of your opponents logs off Tumblr because you made the site unusable and unsafe for them. (The expression you make there isn't really a smile, but we'll call it that, since the corners of your mouth do turn upward.) You tell yourself you're just attacking Zionists and pretend you do not see how you're really going after Jews.

No self-examination; that would mean admitting that you're lying to yourself and others. Instead, you traumatize and exhaust yourself until you're psychologically incapable of self-examination. You watch snuff films. You stare at mangled bodies until you're weeping and physically ill (certainly, you're too ill to check whether the video is real, or if it was taken from this conflict).

You force your beliefs into your fandom spaces so that others, the bad people, cannot escape their complicity in genocide.

But more importantly, you do that so you can't escape.

You cannot engage in any fandom but the pro-Pal fandom because that takes imaginative energy away from your biggest pretense--that you're a good person.

You are NOT hurting people because you are striking a blow for Palestinians. You are hurting people, including yourself, because you do not want to do the work of becoming a good person. You are afraid that self examination, at this point, will reveal to you that you are exactly the sort of person you believe you are fighting.

That fear, that insecurity, that dread, that restless sense that if you ever rest or stop or think for just a moment, you'll discover something awful? That's your conscience.

I do not ask you to change your mind about your political opponents. Your defenses are already on your lips and in your mind; a thousand How Dare Yous for me hinting that you look at other people as people. What I will ask you is to consider this.

I came to young adulthood just as Bush was elected, and the Iraq War post-9/11 was the first war I really followed as an adult. I did what you're doing now. I forced myself to look at photographs of destroyed bodies. I looked at photographs of torture perpetrated by US soldiers. I blogged about it obsessively.

I told myself that I was Doing My Part to end the war. But really, it's that the anxiety of being an American during the war made me insecure over whether or not I was responsible for all of this, and therefore, a bad person. If I pretended my looking at snuff photos was activism, and that it was good, then I could pretend to believe I was good and shout "Not in my name" at protests. I could deny my responsibility.

What I really did was traumatize myself. It's been almost twenty years. I can still see some of those torture pictures in my head. In the end, that is the extent of the impact of my online activism. The blogs are all long deleted, and nobody remembers them.

Only my trauma remains.

I do not want this for you. I want you to be wiser. There is still time. You can stop.

Stop hurting yourself and other people. Do the hard work. Examine yourself and your actions. Consider what your own heart is trying to tell you whenever you start to get the shakes and your throat gets tight. Do not take that feeling out on random people online because they have a Magen David in their pfp.

Once you have done the hard work, it gets easier. You will be able to advocate and work for whatever causes you believe in because you know they are good, not because you're joining your friends in cosplaying goodness. You will still be traumatized, and you will still be sad, and you'll definitely still get angry. You will have to face how you've acted exactly like your own past abusers, and that's a real tough row to hoe.

But at the end, you will be able to advocate and work because you want to, instead of feeling as though you must in order to keep up the masquerade.

[olderthannetfic]

I have a fandom friend who isn't shy about sending me her fics in the DMs and asking me to read them (not as in beta reading but as in link to AO3).

The thing is, they're really not up my alley because I'm really finnicky about style and story construction and the like: her fics have a lot of telling and not a lot of showing, there's rarely significant tension or change (which might not bother some but it does bother ME personally as a reader), so there's nothing pushing me to read on, and she usually writes detached scenes from the AUs she has in her head, which feels a bit like someone grabbing me by the pussy with no foreplay. I'm not that familiar with the version of the characters/story from the AU so I'm not attached to those storylines the way she is (again, no buildup of tension that makes the emotional scene hit right).

Basically, I really enjoy talking about The Blorbos with her but every time I have to read something of hers it feels like a chore and I either get bored in two paragraphs or my hand starts itching for a red pen. Sometimes I just put it off and hope she forgets but I feel awful and guilty about it because she clearly cares about her fic (it's just too self-indulgent for me to enjoy it from the outside).

She never asks for feedback, so I think it would be incredibly rude to give unsolicited critique or, like, suggest that I could be a beta reader (with how forward she is she'd have asked already if she wanted it).

How do I address this? I want to keep being on friendly terms with her and I'd be open to reading more from her if she fixed some of the consistent issues with her writing (I think the CONCEPTS she entertains are interesting and cool), but also for me the joy of having a hobby is being able to engage with it on my own terms without having "required reading" and what's going on right now ain't it.

(I'm aware that this will make so many people feel really insecure and paranoid about their own writing/readership and I'm sorry for that :/ I'm sure there are people who do enjoy my friend's fic as is, but I can't help my own preferences or attention span)

--

Does she press you for a reaction? If a friend sends me a link, I often thank them for it but don't actually read. Or maybe I skim it or something but don't actually say much to them about it.

I think it's fine to go "I posted a thing!" with the link and expect a "Wow, you finished that so fast!" or "Congrats on finally finishing that longfic!" or whatever. I think it's unwise to expect one's friends to read all of one's work, to like one's work, and to give praise. That way lies disappointment and awkward feelings on both sides.

[shall-we-die]

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{Quality}

What is their most dangerous/toxic attitude?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Obey me!}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0066}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Lucifer|

Lucifer's most dangerous/toxic behaviour would be how he deals with strong feelings of intense jealousy towards any of MC's interactions with other demon brothers. While he keeps his jealousy hidden under a confident and controlled demeanour, he has a tendency to subtly undermine their relationships with the other brothers, leading to strained dynamics within the group. He justifies this behaviour to himself as a means of "protecting" MC, but in reality, it stems from his own insecurity and deep-rooted fear of abandonment. Despite his intentions, this behaviour ends up creating more problems than solutions, leaving a trail of tension and discord in its wake.

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↬|Mammon|

As the Avatar of Greed, Mammon's most dangerous and toxic behavior is his limitless greed and desire to be richer at any cost. This leads him to engage in unscrupulous and manipulative behavior to accumulate money, power, and possessions, manipulating others and destroying relationships in the process. However, it is important to note that behind Mammon's sinister actions are deep-seated insecurities and abandonment issues that stem from his experiences in his past. At his core, Mammon is a complex character that hides a fragile side.

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↬|Leviathan|

Well, you see, Leviathan is a total otaku and a bit of a social misfit. Sometimes, when he's really really upset, he can get pretty aggressive and say some pretty cruel things. He can also get quite obsessive when he's passionate about something like a game or an anime. And let me tell you, he will *not* take any criticism about his favorite anime lightly! He can get pretty nasty when someone attacks his favorite characters. Just watch out when he starts making angry grunts and his tail starts lashing around.

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↬|Satan|

His most dangerous toxicity trait is probably his lack of empathy. He enjoys seeing others suffer. He takes ake pleasure in pain, which is why he often provoke others to fight. This has led to many dangerous situations.

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↬|Asmodeus|

There's a bunch of bad behavior with Asmodeus, considering his Avatar status. His most toxic behaviour being: that he tends to be quite possessive of those he loves and cares about, often being quite clingy and can sometimes get jealous whenever your attention is not focused on him. Although it is just how he is sometimes, it can get very tiring at times whenever you just want some space to yourself...

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↬|Beelzebub|

Beel's most dangerous behavior is his excessive gluttony. His addiction to food makes him careless and willing to do almost anything for the sake of satisfying his hunger. He can go to great lengths to obtain food, even resorting to stealing or harming others in the process. Ultimately, Beel's dangerous behavior stems from his inability to control his impulses and desires. It can cause harm not only to himself but also to those around him.

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↬|Belphegor|

Hmm... His most dangerous and toxic behavior is undoubtedly his tendency to push people away and to be extremely closed off emotionally and physically. If you tried to talk to him or get closer to him, he would push you away and shut down completely, making it impossible to get through to him. It's a defense mechanism he has developed to protect himself but it only ends up hurting others.

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↬|Diavolo|

His tendency to underestimate others and act over-confident, leading to risky situations. His impulsiveness and tendency to make quick decisions without consulting his council, which could have serious consequences for the Devildom. His lack of empathy and care for the feelings of others, which has caused strained relationships with some of the other demon brothers.

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↬|Barbatos|

The most dangerous/toxic behavior of Barbatos is likely his tendency to conceal information. As the Devildom's butler and advisor to its ruler, Barbatos possesses vast knowledge and a deep understanding of the realms and their inhabitants. However, his strategic nature may lead him to withhold crucial information from the MC, to protect them or keep them in the dark. This can create a lack of trust and understanding between them, which can become problematic and potentially harmful.

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↬|Simeon|

One of his most dangerous and toxic behaviors is his tendency to place the needs and desires of others above his own. He often puts himself in positions where he sacrifices his own well-being and happiness for the sake of others. This leads to exhaustion and burnout, as he consistently neglects his own needs and feelings in order to help or please others. Over time, this behavior can cause him to feel resentment and bitterness towards the people he helps, creating a toxic cycle that negatively affects both parties.

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↬|Solomon|

His most dangerous and toxic behavior has to be his tendency to prioritize his own interests and goals above all else. He believes that the ends justify the means and have no qualms about using any method necessary to achieve his objectives. This often leads him to use people as mere pawns or tools to further his goals, without any consideration for their well-being or feelings. He may even use manipulation or deception to get what he wants. Ultimately, his self-serving nature can lead to dangerous and toxic outcomes for those around him.

||[🅀uality]||

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     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🄿ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🅁▷ㅤㅤ↻

[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; lucifer morningstar

requested by ; mod / self indulgent

fandom(s) ; hazbin hotel

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; lucifer morningstar

outline ; “dating headcanons for lucifer”

note ; this may be a touch out of character as i’ve never written for him before, but hopefully you’re all able to enjoy this piece either way ^^

warning(s) ; brief mentions to canon angst and one mildly suggestive bit, but mostly fluff!

after having a several thousand year long marriage fall apart on him and experiencing a strained relationship with his only child for a good number of years after that, it’s only natural that lucifer would struggle with letting himself fall in love and move on — both because he doesn’t want to risk pushing charlie away and because, well, despite being the prince of pride he has a lot of issues relating to his past and he’s worried about messing things up and losing someone else he loves

that’s not to say that courting the king of hell is impossible, far from it in fact, but that you just need to be patient with him — let him move at his own pace, he’s been out of the dating game for a while after all (if you could ever even consider him as being ‘in it’ at all given the unique circumstances under which he met his first wife)

despite being the embodiment of ‘pride’, he does deal with a great deal of insecurity and anxiety — about everything from his parenting to his creations to his relationship with you and even far beyond that — so any kind of verbal reassurance or praise will go a long way with him and will always be received with a great deal of warmth and gratitude

whisper about how much you love him as you hold him in your arms late in the evenings or early in the mornings, when you’re laying in bed and half asleep — making sure that you’re starting and ending each day on a positive, private, warm note no matter what happens between the ‘now’ and ‘then’

gush about his latest invention as you visit him in his workshop, commenting excitedly at each new feature and animatedly gesturing towards his whole collection of creations with nothing but genuine enthusiasm and awe written across your features — make sure he knows that his craftsmanship and efforts will never go unnoticed or unappreciated by you so long as he wants you by his side

encourage him to take those leaps of faith that he’d otherwise be too jaded or anxious to take on his own: hold his hand and help him find the strength to call up his daughter just to chat and give them their privacy once he’s back in his element and fully engaged with the conversation, give him a pep-talk before his latest meeting with heaven and their new emissary and promise that you’re only a text or call away if it gets too much for him (he’s never taken up your offer, but the promise always helps to calm his nerves), and just be there to push him forwards as his partner and be there to catch him if things don’t go his way

praise him for all of the features you love until his face is tinged a beautiful shade of red, his wings are all fluffed up, and he’s too flustered to even look you in the eye — compliment the angelic and the demonic, the human and inhuman, make sure there’s no doubt left in his mind that you’re completely and utterly infatuated with him in body, mind, and soul

oh and make no mistake this gentleman gives as good as he gets and he could easily spend days at a time talking about every little thing about you that he adores, every minor habit or quirk that most people wouldn’t even notice that makes his whole day that much brighter — there’s no room for any self doubt or self hatred when you’re in a relationship with this fallen angel because he loves you so deeply, so wholly, that you’ll inevitably start to love yourself that bit more through him

it’s extremely important to him that you get to know charlie and that she approves of your relationship — his daughter is his world, his everything, and as much as he adores you, he will not risk pushing her away again for any reason (as much as it would kill him inside to have to walk away from you)

that being said, charlie will inevitably end up really liking you and making an effort to get to know this person who her dad talks about all the time, making it abundantly clear that she approves of you and would be happy to have you in her life as her dad’s partner — and maybe another parental figure in her life depending on how things go, how your relationship with her evolves, and whether you prefer to be her ‘step parent’ or just her friend who happens to be dating her dad (she doesn’t mind either way, she just wants him to be happy)

between his angelic powers, extreme wealth, and prominent status in hell, lucifer is more than capable of spoiling you completely rotten — like as long as you’re with him, you’ll never want or need for anything as long as it’s within his abilities to get for you (whether that’s something more traditional like jewellery, clothes, books, or food, or something more niche and related to something you’re interested in, like a tool to help you engage in a hobby or a specific item you’ve been looking for to add to your collection)

he’s also not above just outright making you things as gifts — of course there are his ducks which he’s more than happy to share with you, but he’s also a pretty good cook and will make you breakfast in bed as a treat or as a way to cheer you up if you’ve been having a rough time

on a related note, this man goes all out for your anniversaries and on your birthday — he just… really loves being able to take care of you, that’s all

and despite all of that he still keeps each and every gift and card you give him — has a whole drawer dedicated to your letters and your gifts are scattered around the palace, with particularly sentimental items being kept in his bedroom and workshop

there are two pictures that he keeps on him at all times: one of him and charlie taken shortly after he helped rebuild the hotel and settled into his personal room there, and another of the two of you taken on your first anniversary of a couple — he regularly takes them out to help keep him motivated throughout the day, especially if his day has been rather draining for one reason or another

he’s extremely physically affectionate and gives the most amazing hugs — he uses his arms and his wings to hold you close and keep you warm and when you’re laying down it’s extremely easy for you to just fall asleep in his arms if you don’t make a conscious effort to stay awake and in the moment with him

his kisses can go a couple of different ways depending on his mood and the setting you’re in:

he can be gentlemanly and chaste if you’re in a formal setting or otherwise somewhere that requires him to uphold a certain image — limiting himself to brief pecks on the back of your hand, your cheeks, or your knuckles if he’s feeling especially bold (doing enough to show that you’re his partner but not enough that his ‘kingly’ persona is threatened)

he can also be very sweet and playful if you’re at home or around close friends and family — peppering kisses along your neck and jawline, kissing your lips and cheeks whilst brushing his fingers along your ticklish spots, nuzzling his ‘nose’ against yours before kissing you, etc. (showing affection in ways that are enough to make you laugh and lean into him, but not enough that he’d be making your loved ones uncomfortable by being a bit too intimate)

last but not least, he can also be passionate and intense when the two of you are alone and he’s practically aching to feel your lips on his — wet, open mouthed kisses against your lips, trailing slow kisses from the inside of your wrists up your arm whilst looking you in the eye, trailing his lips down your throat and alternating between kissing and playfully biting at your skin (nipping and marking at your pulse point every time without fail), trailing his mouth lower and lower until you’re so frustrated all you can do is pull him up by his collar and crash your lips against his own (making sure that you know that you’re desired as well as loved whilst also being a bit playful about getting what he wants from you)

he always makes sure that he’s able to spend some quality time with you each day beyond just your sleeping hours — whether that means planning a proper date, meeting up for lunch between meetings, or stopping by wherever you are at the time via teleportation just to check in and make sure everything’s okay

lucifer has a wide variety of pet names that he uses with you — this includes the classics like ‘sweetheart’, ‘angel’, and ‘love’, as well as some more personalised ones like ‘duckie’, and more humorous ones that he comes up with on the spot to make you laugh and smile — and he loves any nickname that you ascribe to him no matter how ridiculous other people may find them

more than happy to show you off to all of hell as his beloved partner and their future monarch that will be reigning by his side one day — he’s more than capable of defending you from any threats himself and the palace is well protected so he has absolutely no reservations about making it known to every demon and sinner that you belong to him, and that he belongs to you

[dollypopup]

People truly have no empathy for Colin at all, do they?

I've seen comments about how unfair he was to Penelope for his reaction to the Lady Whistledown reveal, disparaging him for 'pouting on the couch' or that he was unreasonable, or out of character, or he should have gotten over it more quickly, and that he left her in the street SO egregiously, and how DARE he say that she trapped him! and being furious that he iced her out and, worst of all, calling him a 'little bitch' for his response (sexist language? in MY fandom? it's more likely than you think!)

I need us to step into his shoes as a character for a moment, because honestly it makes so much sense to me why he was upset and reacted the way he did. And it all comes back to that mirror scene and his apology at the start of the season.

Why did Colin ultimately fall for Penelope? Because she made him feel seen. It was genuinely baffling to me in Episode 8 when Penelope talked about how it felt to be invisible, to be unheard, to search for a purpose, and the camera didn't pan to Colin. When that has been his ultimate insecurity for the entirety of his characterization. Colin related to Penelope because THEY are mirror images of each other, and what made it so dissatisfying for me at the end of the season was that the writing dropped that, but I digress.

Colin feels transparent with Penelope. And he likes that. He likes that she sees him because he feels that she sees him gently, and kindly, and with tenderness. He's concerned, of course, that she doesn't have the same feelings for him that he does for her, but he loves her, and it's a good feeling to love someone who knows and accepts you.

He wanted the same opportunity. They strip down in front of each other, and that's what made their first time so beautiful and meaningful for him. Not that they were naked, but that they were bare. That, for him, he bared it all for her. His heart, his feelings, his skin, his hopes and dreams. Colin has always been a vulnerable party in their relationship.

And finding out she is Lady Whistledown is the confirmation that such feelings were one sided for him.

Of course that fucking hurts!

Colin CRIES when he finds out she's Lady Whistledown. He is seconds away from sobbing in that street. He is betrayed, and she has no words with which to comfort him. Of course, we as the audience understand that as her fears come to fruition, that Colin can now never love her (as Eloise warned) (and also is not true, through all of it, he DOES love her) because he sees who she is in full and cannot accept it (yet), but for Colin, it is not necessarily that she is Lady Whistledown that hurts him the most. Listen to what he says first and foremost and you will recognize what he had the most immediate pain over: All the lies you have told me. . .

Because Colin is traumatized. This was his grief with Marina, as well: the lies.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: For Colin, love is being open, being honest, and choosing one another for it. Love is living in the light. And for him, Penelope has only allowed him to love half of her as a result of her secrecy. That's painful.

Even still, he chooses her.

But Penelope? Penelope chooses Lady Whistledown.

I agree that the 'entrapment' comment was harsh but. . .y'all, she did trap him. They were intimate together before he found out about Lady Whistledown, he knew she very well could have been with child, and that in breaking their marriage, he would be leaving her for the wolves. Her only prospect before him was Debling, and he's long gone. Colin loves her despite the fact that she hurt him, and he would never forsake her. Yes, he made the moves first. Yes, he gatecrashed her other engagement. Yes, in a way, he trapped her, too.

But he asked if she wanted to be intimate with him, and she said yes.

Did he leave her in the street after finding out about Lady Whistledown? Yeah, he did. In front of her carriage. She was literally about to get in it and go home. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do in an argument is to walk away. He is in tears. He just found out the woman he loves has lied to him for years. And she's clearly done this for a long time. In that moment, the big danger to her is what he can say to hurt her in his anger, not her getting in a carriage and rolling her way back to her house.

Please remember that Penelope ghosted him for months over one comment. He believed she would never forsake him and then she did. He came to HER and apologized after she made it clear that he hurt her, and it was a beautiful apology that also, very importantly, had an action attached to it to fix the harm.

That's what's missing in all of these scenes, that's why he's so hurt and can't leave that sofa. For him, that sofa is the place where he and Penelope came together as a couple, the last place he was happy with her and felt he knew her. To leave it, to sleep beside her, is to abandon that glowing past for an uncertain future, and he can't do that because she has not fixed her harm.

There are three steps to a good apology, and I will commend Penelope, she does 2 of the three. 1: Acknowledge the harm. 2: Apologize for the harm. 3: Fix the harm. In whatever way you can. Sometimes, this means if you broke something, to repair it or replace it, like a mug or a cup. Sometimes, this means assuring the action will not take place again, like I'm sorry I looked into your journal, I'll respect your privacy from now on. And then, only then, can you move forward.

The show fails in the fact that they double down on not fixing it. It tries, yes, in the sense that after she's been blackmailed, she comes to him and says she has to be honest with him, but she does not voice aloud that she will continue to be honest with him, or that they will be a unit together. She is an individual, and he is playing support. That's the deal he has to agree to.

Tell me you'd agree right off the cuff. You can't.

And if Lady Whistledown's actions are a source of pain, as he says in the second part of his confrontation All of the things you have written about me and my family well, Penelope intends to continue doing so by the end of the series.

She just intends to do it openly instead of anonymously. So of course Colin has a hard time with this. Finding out Penelope is Lady Whistledown will take time to process, and his intimacy with her stems from his emotional attachment. Of COURSE he doesn't sleep with her even though he's attracted to her when he's getting the blanket for the couch: their closeness has been cut, and he's feeling it like a wound.

So yes, Colin sleeps on that couch, and he finds some refuge as he digests the fact that whilst Pen is acknowledging that she hurt him, she doesn't intend to repair that harm. It is on him to do so, on him to build that bridge, and of course he needs time for it. He is alone, he has no one really to confide in, and Eloise took an entire year to forgive Penelope, yet we expect Colin to be over it in what? A few days?

His betrayal about Lady Whistledown is multifaceted:

1: It is an understanding that the woman he loves is also the woman who has lied to him

2: The woman he loves is the woman who disparaged him publicly and stands by that disparagement

3: The woman he loves has a legacy and a career when he doesn't, and he is digesting his envy and bitterness about it. The embarrassment of having revealed to her that he likes to write and for her to know whilst she is a more successful author than he is (THIS is the facet that he SHOULD be dealing with on his own, frankly. THIS is the 'build the bridge and get over it' bit, NOT the others)

4: He has been lied to in the past and now has trust issues, so he doesn't even know if he can believe she fully loves him

and 5: He is in a predicament where he will never be chosen first, and considering he never has been in his entire life, this is also a sting that will take a long time to heal (and don't come at me about how Penelope choosing her career is #girlboss. He asked her to give up a gossip column that has hurt him and her loved ones and is putting her actively in danger. he never asked her to stop writing. he never asked her to be a stay-at-home wife, he never intended to have her at home and pregnant. he wanted her to acknowledge that yes, LW was a persona she took on, just as he had a persona at the start of the season, and she no longer needed it and could walk freely with him into the light, writing novels and living a life with him hand in hand. that's not unreasonable. she didn't NEED to keep writing Lady Whistledown, and the fact that she, yet again, chose it when she has acknowledged how much harm and pain it has brought her and those around her felt like a massive step back in her development, but I digress)

Colin Bridgerton is, frankly, a more empathetic character than most of us would be. I have ended relationships for considerably less hurt than this, and whilst I understand that Penelope having a career is important, fuck, *I* have a career and I find it deeply fulfilling, and giving it up would be unthinkable. But at the same time, your career cannot come first in your life as it does for Penelope.

We end the series with her life still unbalanced. Throughout it all, the ONE thing she has always chosen has been Lady Whistledown, and there's a reason people say that constantly picking your career before your family and the people who love you is detrimental. It's because it is.

This is meant to be an escapist romance show. The romance between Polin felt lacking, not because Colin didn't choose Penelope fast enough, but because Penelope didn't choose him at all.

Because Colin did choose Penelope. Actively. Partly through honor (look me in my eyes, if he didn't, he KNEW he'd be damning her, he loves her too damn much for that) but mostly through love. She hurt him and he chose to stay. Yes, he slept on the couch. Yes, he processed his emotions. Yes, he was mad. But he was incredibly reasonable throughout all of it, especially considering she essentially went "I'm sorry I hurt you, but I'm going to continue doing this thing" about it.

But what did Penelope choose? To continue writing the article that hurt the people around her, under the promise that 'I'll be better about it, now!'. Not Colin. Not her love story. But her career.

I need to be clear now that they did NOT sell me on the fact that she chose both. She chose 1, very clearly, and the other came as a consolation prize.

Colin should not be a consolation prize.

In the end, Colin chose his love for her over his ego, his pride, and his own self love. I hope in the future it will be more equitable between the two of them, because when he delivered the 'If my only purpose in life is to love a woman as great as you' speech, I felt my heart breaking for him. I would never want that in a romance from a female character saying so to a man, and I don't want it from a man to woman, either.

Colin Bridgerton starts the series in the shadows.

And he ends it in them, too.

[lurkingshan]

I've been in multiple tumblr fandoms over the years and the same shit comes up over and over again wrt arguments about how we all engage with our chosen media on here, so here are a few things to keep in mind that have helped me along the way:

Not everyone is going to engage in the same way as you, and that's good, actually. Some people are purely here to gush over the things they like. Some people are here to do deep analytical breakdowns which will include criticism. Some people are cheerleaders. Some people are haters. A lot of people are a mix of both depending on what they're talking about on any given day. It's all good and valid, and it's what gives this space variety, allows us to learn from each other, and keeps it interesting.

The filter, unfollow, and block functions are your friend. If you love a mutual but hate the volume or the way they talk about a certain thing, just add it to your filtered tags (relatedly: tag your shit so people can filter you when needed!). If you consistently don't vibe with the way a person chooses to engage on here, just unfollow them. If you find them actively offensive or detrimental to your mental health, hit that block button, baby. We are all anonymous internet strangers and no one will die.

Someone expressing a different opinion from yours is not a personal attack on you. If someone hates a thing you like, they are not calling you stupid for liking it. If they love a thing you hate, there's nothing wrong with them, they are just taking something different from it than you are. That shit is all about you and your own insecurities, don't try to put it on them.

Vague posting is rude. If you want to directly respond to something someone said to get better clarity about what they meant, reply to their post or shoot them an ask or DM and talk to them about it. If you simply want to express a counterpoint without directly engaging them, just post your own take without vaguely alluding to them and building what is almost certainly a strawman of their original point. People you're vaguing can see you on here, folks. Don't be a dick.

Credit and reblog other people's ideas when you are building on them, and be kind to the creators who provide the artwork that make this place so special and unique. Reblogging is the lifeblood of this website. It's the only way people get to see content that is by anyone they don't follow, and the gifmakers on here in particular put in so much time and effort to give us beautiful images--share their work and tell them you appreciate it! You also don't have to agree with every single word of a meta post to reblog it (why would you expect to, it comes from a different brain than yours), and you absolutely should be crediting people and sharing their words when they sparked something that inspired your own thoughts. This is just being a good community member.

Embrace the difference between meta and fanwanking. Meta writing is analysis of the actual media content as it is presented, with arguments based in the canon text. Fanwanking is doing your own work to fill in gaps or create headcanons to supplement the canon text. Some people prefer content that leaves a lot of gaps because they love to creatively fanwank; some people prefer to be told complete stories without having to do all that extra work to make them make sense. These are both very cool and fun ways to engage, but when you're fanwanking be aware that those ideas are all coming from you, not the actual media being discussed, so others might not vibe with your interpretation.

When posting your own opinions, try to be clear about where you're coming from and why. If you have a personal experience or bias that is affecting your read, own it. If you're looking at a piece of media from a specific angle related to your own interests and learning, say that. It helps other people to know where you're coming from and why you're thinking about something in a certain way that can then help them puzzle out why they feel differently.

You don't owe anyone your presence here, and you don't have to express opinions on everything or respond to tags or asks if you don't have anything to say. Sometimes you might just want to take a break from posting, some things in the discourse might just flow right on by you, sometimes you will not have a firm opinion on a debate. You can post as much or as little as you want. You can suddenly decide you don't want to talk about a show anymore. You can not log into your tumblr for days or weeks at a time. Do you, boo!

Most people come to tumblr because they do want to engage with others, and this place can be a lot of fun if you just take what you need from it and let things that aren't serving you go.

[artemisia-black]

About the game ☕: Fandom Sirius. That's it. 🙂

Ooh fanon Sirius aka my Roman Empire.

Look I’ve said before that I’m not the fandom police, nor do I want to stifle people’s creativity, but fanon Sirius drives me up the wall.

However, being able to extrapolate from a text is a reading comprehension skill that everyone who engages with media in a creative or critical way needs to develop, and character study provides a means to this.

Within canon, there’s so much material to work with and he has some clearly defined traits and somethings that are up for interpretation, so why has fandom invented this different (and worse) character.

Canon Sirius would hate fanon Sirius, that is how divorced they are from each other. And I can’t count the amount of times i’ve noped out of things because fanon Sirius is shrieking about his hair being out of place ( whereas canon Sirius is wearing tattered robes with matted hair for 90% of canon) or he can’t reach things on high shelves (when he’s frequently described as tall and is also a wizard who can summon shit).

The flattening of his character also feels lazy and reliant on hackneyed tropes . It is possible for a good looking person to be clever (it is not either/or). And it is possible for someone to be incredibly loyal, but also casually cruel, outwardly arrogant but also deeply insecure- good character writing is about these multitudes.

Additionally, within fanon, there’s no variety in who he’s shipped with or how his romantic life (or lack there of) is interpreted and it starts to give cult vibes.

[nana-mania]

“HIS RED FLAGS” what does he do that make him an obvious red flag?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ headcanon

࿐*ೃ feat : michael kaiser, sae itoshi, ryusei shidou, alexis ness

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst.

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : bodyshaming, profanities, manipulation, mention of intercourse, stalking, toxic relationship

MICHAEL KAISER

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ He is an arrogant and egocentric man, always bragging about himself on daily basis with you. Frequently, he belittles you and pressures you into improving yourself more. He wants to make sure you're worthy to stand next to him to maintain his distinguished image as German prodigy. Since he views himself as embodiment of perfection, you must be as perfect as him. Insulting your insecurities whenever you experience low self-esteem is his way to motivate you to better yourself.

“Stop eating that unhealthy junk. You will gain weight.”

“If you don't start working out and get rid of those fat, I'm gonna fucking dump you.”

“I don't care! Starve yourself to death or anything. If you still love me, then stop whining.”

SAE ITOSHI

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Living in Spain for years and learning the harsh reality of life at such young age damages his emotional growth as a teenager. He grows up as an ignorant man who lacks empathy toward others' feelings, even his own significant other. Engaging in relationship with Sae is like one-sided love. It is only you who is always concerned about the relationship and strive hard to maintain a stable relationship. Sae, in the other hand, could care less of your feelings and emotions. Often being bluntly cruel and hurting your feelings, intentionally and unintentionally. His career as soccer player is his sole priority after all.

“Can't you see I'm tired? Leave me alone.”

“Why should I waste my energy and time on a stupid date? Just stay at home.”

“Stop being mean? I'm merely being honest. It's not my fault that you're too sensitive.”

RYUSEI SHIDOU

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Ryusei is one manipulative partner, messing with your mind and emotions frighteningly often in order to force you to stay by his side despite how toxic the relationship is. He is selfish, obsessive and possessive. He makes you believe nobody else will love you as much as he does, even tricking your mind into believing he is the only one in this world who accept you as who you are. If breaking your mind is the only mean to turn you into an obedient doll for him, he will resort to such cruelty. He also despises talking things out when conflict brews up between you and him. To him, the sole way to make peace with you is through intercourse. He never force himself on you but he frequently seduces you into having sex as distraction to avoid having serious talk. You can never resist him and always submit yourself to him willingly. His words of temptation...is irresistible.

“Break up? There is no one better than me out there.”

“Oh, sweetheart...you can never find another person to love you. I'm the only one capable of doing so..”

“Have you forgotten? You're all alone, sweetheart. Who else will be by your side when you're at your lowest?”

ALEXIS NESS

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Alexis has major trust issue and inferior complex. Often attempting to be the dominant one in the relationship by controlling you. He easily misunderstands your words or action. He unhealthily believes his words as the only truth, frequently coming up with his own speculation and accuses you of mistakes you never commit. Once he loses his mind, he becomes quite violent yet he tries to resist himself from hurting you physically. He usually suppresses himself by throwing objects on the floor to relieve his anger and warning you. However, sometime he only verbally attacks you by comparing you to other people; specifically his exes. Considering his trust issue is extremely severe, he stalks on you whenever you go out with your friends or by yourself.

“What? You want to see your friend? What's wrong with staying home with me all day? Have you lost your feelings toward me?”

“Who the fuck is that bastard with you earlier? Are you cheating on me?!”

“Shut the hell up. Why the hell are you like this? All my exes are not as annoying as you.”

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this headcanon! likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

[chaifootsteps]

That merch post from yesterday came off as so petulant and insecure. I don’t even care about the ship but that entitled behaviour puts me off more than the actual content.

It’s a little bizarre that stolitz shippers act like the victim and underdog when they are far and away the loudest most influential voices and Brandon Adam and Vivzie have their back 100% of the time. Even dunking on and rewriting other characters, for the ships sake. This show is now for stolitz shippers. Cartoon Universe, Ayy Lmao, Sarcastic Chorus, all those people are big, loud supporters. Who call everyone else media illiterate, too SJW, too sensitive, homophobic, etc. Many people have been banned from Reddit and discord spaces just for saying the ships writing is inconsistent, which is taken as being an ‘anti’ and delivering a personal attack. They just sit back and say “it’s canon, Viv liked our tweets, so there!!” So…what? Is there a prize?

Also. From that post, the shippers say they don’t want us to watch the show or engage in fandom at all if we don’t love that pairing. What’s that about? A real “you’re either with us or against us! Our dear leader!” energy.

Quickest way to kill helluva boss is saying if you aren’t a stolitz fan you should leave the show. Because the numbers are talking and the episodes about those 2 are barely passing 12M compared to the 30M from before. And declining.

It's creepy and cultish as hell. This is a group of people who couldn't care less about their ship's nonexistent chemistry and even less existent moments of tenderness and solely about "owning the haters." Half of them openly hate Blitzo, but Viv's given them her wink of approval to harass critics and they intend to milk it for all the cheap dopamine it's worth.

I hope they get exactly what they demand...that anyone who doesn't unconditionally and uncritically love Stolitz just stops watching.

[anxiousdreamcore]

May I humbly asks for your interpretation/opinion/view of the Spider & Quaritch as well as the Spider & Sullies relationships/dynamics ?

Sure! I’ve complained about how my opinion of the characters changed throughout the year of being engaged in the fandom so I might as well share! 🤭

Spider: An audacious, frat-boy-ish teen who stinks of dirt, sweat and will eat a live bug to gross you out. Kiri said that he bites and she was 100% honest because this kid will fling his mask off and tear into your throat if you mess with his baby siblings 😤 at the same time, he’s more than capable of being responsible and gentle, especially when it comes to Pandora, its wildlife and cultures, all of which are clearly very important to him. A menace with a heart of gold and an iron fucking will, untameable. Unbreakable. No authority scares him.

Quaritch: A man so damaged he can’t be repaired. He’s seen too many horrors, killed too many people, watched too many comrades die, has been infected with too much poison. It runs in his veins and destroys everything he touches…which is precisely why he is only likeable as a father. He has never been one before and that part of him is completely new, not yet damaged. The only part of him not yet tainted by the rotten creature that is the rest of him. A mangy, old army dog that will burn Pandora to the ground if its chain is broken, but will lie down and wag its tail for his child, and only him.

Oh, and he’s mentally ill too, at least to some extent, canonically. It’s not to say that his mental illness makes him a bad guy. No. It’s the lack of care he puts into coping with it that contributes to the dumpster fire that is Miles Quaritch. My personal headcannon is that he needs mood-stabilisers yet regularly skips them.

Spider & Quaritch dynamic: Two outcasts who bond over being isolated by their respective groups. Also, Lima and Stockholm syndrome duo! Quaritch gets an instant liking to Spider that soon grows into fatherly love, as Spider brings out the best in him; his most pure, childish and kind traits. Does the rest of him, the rotten, the poisoned, hate it? Oh, absolutely. But he can’t, won’t stop the wild-child from worming his way deep into his decaying heart. Spider meanwhile battles his own platonic feelings and holds onto his resentment as much as he can. He wants to love Miles but he doesn’t. He loves him but he wishes him an agonising death. He wants to be hugged by him and sink a blade into his chest. He wants Miles to prove him that not all grown ups are rotten and he can still be loved. He wants Miles to love him.

Spider & Sully siblings dynamic: “A family disappointment and local cool stoner to his siblings, who are more than happy to take after him because they think his utter freedom and lack of care for authority is cool” kinda vibe. Will play fight with his siblings and bite their noses before kissing them better and shoving them away. Calls Tuk a little gremlin affectionately. Brings Lo’ak back down to Pandora when he spirals into his insecurities or gets too bold and self-sacrificial. Is platonic soulmates with Kiri and feels a profound connection to her, as she does to him. Resents Neteyam for abandoning their little group to become a "respectable warrior". Wants him back. Wishes things could be like when they were kids.

Spider & Neytiri dynamic: She she sees him as a pesky, dangerous demon child that…that didn’t do anything but stay loyal, through all the torture and horrors. A lot of guilt is present between them after the final battle, and they will definitely have a horrible, explosive argument about it sooner or later, but for now they are content at silently sharing space, at time quipping and taking light jabs at each other, because that is their cycle. Playfulness, fear, resentment, until it all explodes and they scream at each other, then the cycle repeats, fuelled by guilt. Is there a chance to stop it? Will they ever be okay?

Spider & Jake dynamic: Hero worship turned disappointment. Spider idolised him for his status and incredible feats as a child but as he grew, and Jake consistently kept him at an arms length without establishing clear boundaries, the constant pining to have him as a father became a never-ending, aching pain in Socorro’s chest. Jake gave him an empty hope that they might one day be a family, without ever clarifying that it’ll never be true, confusing the boy until he was proved not once, not twice, but thrice, that he isn’t needed, isn’t missed, or loved by Jake. He’s a stray animal, and that is all he’ll ever be to him. He knows better now than to wish for something that can never be…doesn’t even want to. Quaritch might be a horrific monster, but at least he genuinely loves him. He doesn’t need Jake’s pathetic scraps of affection anymore. He doesn’t need him anymore.

•

[maul-of-shame]

Hey, just want to say thank you for your post following the TROP rumors and all. Especially for your paragraphs saying that Haladriels are not the entire audience of TROP 😭 I'm a haladriel/saurondriel and I am feeling so burnt out because loud voices in our shipping ranks are constantly telling us to "produce content non-stop" to "keep the team's eyes" on the ship and I hate that this is draining me of my enjoyment... I'm afraid to talk, comment on their posts, tell them they're wrong for doing this because they are "loud" voices in the shipping ranks and I feel very alone... You post hits the nail on the fact that we, shippers, are not the "entire" audience and that we can relax so thank you so, so much for being level-headed and for making this post ����😭🙏🙏🙏

A haladriel/saurondriel shipper.

Hey there, thank you so much for reaching out!!

First, let me say how sorry I am that you’re going through this.

Shipping should be a fun, creative outlet where you can explore stories and connections that make you happy—not something that feels like a chore or a high-stakes game to keep a ship “relevant.” It’s incredibly unfair that anyone would put this kind of pressure on you (or any shipper, really).

A quick note before I dive in: This post isn’t about shading anyone’s ship, whether it’s Haladriel, Saurondriel, Elrondriel, or anything else. I’m coming at this as someone who loves fandom and believes we should be able to enjoy our spaces without unnecessary stress or pressure—regardless of what ship we’re sailing on. This is about broader fandom dynamics, not ship wars or personal preferences. So whether you ship Haladriel, Elrondriel, or even something rare like Gil-galad/Sauron (hey, no judgment here), this applies to everyone.

I’m just an Elrondriel (Elrond/Galadriel) shipper sharing observations about fandom dynamics I’ve seen—it’s not tied to any specific ship.

Hot take but, just because some voices are loud doesn’t mean they’re right.

Being the loudest in the room doesn’t make someone the smartest, the kindest, or the most insightful. It just makes them loud—and exhausting, if I’m being honest.

I’m not a Haladriel/Saurondriel shipper, but that doesn’t matter.

Nobody deserves to feel like their fandom experience is being dictated by others, and it breaks my heart that you feel like you can’t even comment or speak up for fear of backlash. Your voice matters, and your enjoyment of your ship matters. Please don’t let the pressure steal that from you.

Shipping isn’t supposed to be a war for visibility—it’s about celebrating the stories and dynamics you love.

And let me just say, the whole idea of shippers being the sole “eyes” on a show is nonsense.

Sorry not sorry.

Like I said in my post, while ships might be a part of the fandom, nobody is the entirety of the audience—not Haladriels, not Saurondriels, not Elrondriels, not anyone.

The team behind The Rings of Power isn’t sitting in a council chamber of Lindon tallying ship content like it’s some sort of fanfiction popularity contest. Trust me, they’re not lurking in the shadows of Mount Doom, whispering, “Which ship reigns supreme?” They’re focused on the bigger picture—crafting a story that weaves together epic arcs, characters, and lore while keeping the show engaging for a global audience.

At the end of the day, what truly sways their decisions isn’t a battle of ships but the cold, hard numbers (Bezos’s precious, if you will). Ratings, viewer retention, and the broad reception of the show will hold more sway than who’s penning the most fanfiction or tweeting the loudest.

It’s the Fellowship of metrics, not a popularity contest in the Prancing Pony.

You know, I think it’s important to note something about the loudest voices pushing these kinds of demands: more often than not, they’re loud because they’re insecure. Truly secure and confident people don’t feel the need to shout their opinions from the rooftops or guilt-trip others into action. The ones making all this noise about "we have to do this," "be active on every platform," "produce endless content," etc., are likely projecting their own fears and anxieties onto everyone else.

And that’s not your burden to carry.

Frankly, this level of seriousness they’re bringing to the table is exhausting—and unnecessary.

We’re talking about a TV show.

Some of these folks are acting like if their ship isn’t front and center, the Eye of Bezos will turn its gaze upon them and smite their content from existence. Spoiler alert besties: it won’t!!

Seriously, these people need to chill out.

They’re treating this like the War of the Last Alliance when, in reality, it’s more like a friendly debate in the Green Dragon over a pint. It’s okay to be passionate, but when you’re marshaling your forces to “produce content non-stop” and acting like Galadriel preparing for a battle against ultimate evil, you might be taking this whole thing a little too far.

The thing is, nobody—and I mean nobody—is sitting there in a dark tower, tallying how much fan art or fic exists for one ship versus another. Amazon isn’t crafting their narrative based on which tag is trending. This isn’t a race to Mount Doom; it’s a TV show meant to entertain, inspire, and occasionally frustrate us.

By all means, love your ship, create content, and engage with others—but maybe let’s leave the doomsday rhetoric and One Ship to Rule Them All vibes in Mordor where they belong.

It's supposed to be a piece of entertainment meant to bring us joy, inspire creativity, and spark meaningful discussions—not a battlefield where everyone has to prove their worth or risk their ship "sinking." The sheer pressure they’re piling on isn’t just unproductive; it’s counterproductive. It’s alienating people like you who just want to enjoy what they love in peace.

And let’s be real: there are so many bigger issues in the world than fandom dynamics. Who has the energy to turn their hobbies into a high-stakes competition? If the energy they’re pouring into pressuring others was instead spent on, I don’t know, actually creating content they enjoy, the fandom would be a much healthier, happier place.

At the end of the day, you don’t owe anyone your time or effort just because they think it’s essential. The pressure to be "active" on every platform or constantly churning out content isn’t sustainable, and it’s not what makes a fandom thrive. What truly matters is passion and genuine engagement, and if that means stepping back to preserve your joy, then that’s 100% valid.

So, don’t let their insecurity or intensity rob you of the enjoyment you deserve. Focus on what makes you happy, and leave the rest to sort itself out.

So take a deep breath. You don’t owe anyone constant content, and you certainly don’t owe anyone your silence. If those loud voices in your ship’s ranks are draining you, it’s okay to step back. Your enjoyment and mental health come first. And if you ever need a break or someone to rant to, my DMs are always open Anon!

You’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it. You that you deserve to enjoy your ships your way—no pressure, no strings attached, no loud voices dictating the terms. Sending you the biggest, warmest hug (and maybe a cup of lembas tea, because we all need it sometimes). 💛