#it's about insecure people wanting to engage in fandom

[worstsequence]

[xcziel]

sometimes i am just struck by how happy i am to only go on twitter when linked to specific posts and to curate my dash

like i never really see any actual discourse, just the occasional reasonable person i am in contact with complaining about encountering discourse

[petday]

I make fandom art I make porn I make stuff that makes me miserable and I make stuff that makes me happy and I follow all the advice online but still nobody likes my art. I know it's good art and im not insecure about my talent level but no matter what I post or where I post it, nobody wants to like or interact with my art at all. I know people see it I know people are scrolling past without acknowledging what I make and it fucking sucks. I don't have friends to share stuff I make with and nobody online cares clearly. What do you do when nobody likes you or what you offer.

Good question. This response involves some of my history. I try to talk about my experiences at a comfortable distance. But please skip to the 'Solutions' part if you're bored.

My thoughts below:

It's painful. I have a lot of memories of high intensity pain due to no one engaging with me, at school and online. 'If I live in the same world as others, but it still feels like I am in a world with just myself, what is the point of trying to make things? Sure, I will feel better about myself as I grow, but I've still got no one to grow with, so I am just talking to myself. Amusing myself is fine, but I want to reach a level of fun above amusement, a level that others seem to reach so naturally.' 

In fact, maybe you are less 'outward' with your emotions, but as a child and teenager and young adult, there was a lot of screaming and crying and thrashing about 'not being granted the ability to make things others will seriously engage with me about.' 

(The pain remained after making a few friends during teenage years. The pain's attitude shifted slightly to accommodate this new life change of gaining friends. Much later, even after I became an artist with a large visible number of 'followers/people interested in something you make', the pain shifted its shape around this life change again. "People make bad assumptions of me because I have a big visible number in my profile and most websites do not give me the ability to hide that number." Summary: If your pain/frustration still remains after you gain a friend or find people who engage you, don't beat yourself up. Emotions don't work in such a way that the outcomes you desire are only guaranteed to make you happy and no other emotions will rise.)

Although I loved to look at art on websites since I was a child, one may assume I enjoyed the community aspect. I did, but only as a spectator for the vast majority of the time, since age restrictions and the harsh attitudes that exist to 'prevent the weak from touching the strong' was present in many of the sites I visited. Similar to how children get frustrated when another child cannot keep up with their play, but the child that is 'left out' can still enjoy watching other kids play from afar. It makes perfect sense to me these feelings will always exist in the world no matter what 'social media' websites people invent.

Anyway, two solution attempts in succession I tried over long-term:

1. My first attempt at a solution was immersing myself in a fantasy world I created in my mind and I held my imagination in high esteem. "I know my imagination takes influence from the things I read and admire, so it's not such a lonely world anyway." Creating episode lists of imaginary cartoon episodes and such, so dedicated to something I hardly told anyone about. It felt good. But my friends had original characters too, and they could describe their personalities and dynamics to others naturally and quickly, likely due to their earlier experiences with 'communicating ideas to others.' I was quiet and envious. Although it was fun to play with the imaginary characters in my head, I decided to take another step. Of course I could not simply go back in time to gain the similar social experiences my friends had. But I could use that desire to 'go back in time' to 'go forward in time' and gain the experience.

2. Engage in others first. Because I spent a long time in my imagination, I felt more secure about myself, so I wanted to extend the feeling of 'caring about my own work' to 'caring about others' work on an equal level.' The internet allows you to assess people before engaging to see if your compatibility might be okay. If someone had posts that resonated with me, I tried to say 'hello, I like what you posted/I like your drawing because [...]' Even if the contact ended there, it was a good practice. Gently communicate with people over time. Especially since I am sure there are people who rarely receive questions about their artworks who would love someone to engage with them as well. Of course do not do this in a 'pity' sense – you have to genuinely find something that 'touches your heart' and if the artist seems to not get much curiosity in regards to their art, you can go ahead and try to express your curiosity to them. Keep posting whatever you like, but if you engage with others, you may find someone engaging with you without even expecting it, and that is fun.

(I think society should practice finding genuine value in things they like even if they see nobody has touched it. Not pity, but removing the "does anyone else like this? If I see no one else liking this, it must be a bad thing to like, so I won't engage" attitude. Some of my favourite artwork has maybe 5 visible 'bookmarks/favorites' on an art-focused website.)

[is-the-fire-real]

Another bit on the pro-Pal fandom, this one axiomatic

Being a good person is not the same thing as pretending as though you believe you are a good person.

Being a good person takes work. You have to do stuff. Doing stuff is hard. Doing good stuff is harder, because you have to put thought into determining what you think is good beforehand. That requires self-reflection, honesty, a willingness to challenge oneself, and taking in information from other people to verify that your concept of "good" is, well, good.

The nice part is that once you evaluate what is good and start doing good things, it becomes easier. You gain inner calm, peace, and even joy.

("Good" is not always the same as "necessary". Necessary work can be a slog, or it can be horrific. But there can still be a calming satisfaction at the core, the security that this is necessary and therefore worthwhile.)

Pretending to believe you are a good person takes less immediate work. You don't have to do anything that positively impacts the real world, and you don't have to do any of that annoying, time-consuming self examination. But in the long run, it's more exhausting. By far.

You are insecure about whether or not you are a good person. You're pretending to believe you are good. You can't feel secure in something you pretend to believe. That insecurity gnaws at you, especially when you engage in bad behavior--harassment, doxxing, posting gore, swarming tags, encouraging and promoting suicide among your fellow "activists", telling your opponents to kill themselves, stalking, spamming unrelated content with literal Nazi propaganda.

None of those are good things good people do. And you understand that. You would think someone was bad if they did those things to you. The cognitive dissonance between who you want to be and who you really are, as determined by your actions, is scary. It's painful. It rears up every time someone you have labeled a Zio colonizer scumbag asks you to please just stop and you remember a time when you begged someone--an abuser, a troll online, a 4channer, your parents--to just stop please just leave me alone.

That must feel terrifying, and again, it makes you insecure. It makes you question if you're doing the right thing.

So you do the work to pretend to believe you are good. And that's far more work than goes into being good.

You recruit others, and all of you agree that you will pretend together. Tabletop gaming has taught us how powerful this imaginative play can be. You all reassure each other that you are good and you are right. But since you're all lying to each other, that means you must spend more, and more, and more time every day telling each other that you are good, chasing that high, that feeling that you are a good person and your actions are justified.

You tell each other that your "opponents" in this "battle" are not people, so anything you say or do to and about them is okay. You look at lists of "dehumanizing tactics" and instead of internalizing what those lists are teaching you, you go: "Ah, so if I don't use the word 'vermin', anything I say should be fine!" And then you say it.

You do not smile over good news. You only smile when one of your opponents logs off Tumblr because you made the site unusable and unsafe for them. (The expression you make there isn't really a smile, but we'll call it that, since the corners of your mouth do turn upward.) You tell yourself you're just attacking Zionists and pretend you do not see how you're really going after Jews.

No self-examination; that would mean admitting that you're lying to yourself and others. Instead, you traumatize and exhaust yourself until you're psychologically incapable of self-examination. You watch snuff films. You stare at mangled bodies until you're weeping and physically ill (certainly, you're too ill to check whether the video is real, or if it was taken from this conflict).

You force your beliefs into your fandom spaces so that others, the bad people, cannot escape their complicity in genocide.

But more importantly, you do that so you can't escape.

You cannot engage in any fandom but the pro-Pal fandom because that takes imaginative energy away from your biggest pretense--that you're a good person.

You are NOT hurting people because you are striking a blow for Palestinians. You are hurting people, including yourself, because you do not want to do the work of becoming a good person. You are afraid that self examination, at this point, will reveal to you that you are exactly the sort of person you believe you are fighting.

That fear, that insecurity, that dread, that restless sense that if you ever rest or stop or think for just a moment, you'll discover something awful? That's your conscience.

I do not ask you to change your mind about your political opponents. Your defenses are already on your lips and in your mind; a thousand How Dare Yous for me hinting that you look at other people as people. What I will ask you is to consider this.

I came to young adulthood just as Bush was elected, and the Iraq War post-9/11 was the first war I really followed as an adult. I did what you're doing now. I forced myself to look at photographs of destroyed bodies. I looked at photographs of torture perpetrated by US soldiers. I blogged about it obsessively.

I told myself that I was Doing My Part to end the war. But really, it's that the anxiety of being an American during the war made me insecure over whether or not I was responsible for all of this, and therefore, a bad person. If I pretended my looking at snuff photos was activism, and that it was good, then I could pretend to believe I was good and shout "Not in my name" at protests. I could deny my responsibility.

What I really did was traumatize myself. It's been almost twenty years. I can still see some of those torture pictures in my head. In the end, that is the extent of the impact of my online activism. The blogs are all long deleted, and nobody remembers them.

Only my trauma remains.

I do not want this for you. I want you to be wiser. There is still time. You can stop.

Stop hurting yourself and other people. Do the hard work. Examine yourself and your actions. Consider what your own heart is trying to tell you whenever you start to get the shakes and your throat gets tight. Do not take that feeling out on random people online because they have a Magen David in their pfp.

Once you have done the hard work, it gets easier. You will be able to advocate and work for whatever causes you believe in because you know they are good, not because you're joining your friends in cosplaying goodness. You will still be traumatized, and you will still be sad, and you'll definitely still get angry. You will have to face how you've acted exactly like your own past abusers, and that's a real tough row to hoe.

But at the end, you will be able to advocate and work because you want to, instead of feeling as though you must in order to keep up the masquerade.

[shall-we-die]

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{Quality}

What is their most dangerous/toxic attitude?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Obey me!}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0066}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Lucifer|

Lucifer's most dangerous/toxic behaviour would be how he deals with strong feelings of intense jealousy towards any of MC's interactions with other demon brothers. While he keeps his jealousy hidden under a confident and controlled demeanour, he has a tendency to subtly undermine their relationships with the other brothers, leading to strained dynamics within the group. He justifies this behaviour to himself as a means of "protecting" MC, but in reality, it stems from his own insecurity and deep-rooted fear of abandonment. Despite his intentions, this behaviour ends up creating more problems than solutions, leaving a trail of tension and discord in its wake.

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↬|Mammon|

As the Avatar of Greed, Mammon's most dangerous and toxic behavior is his limitless greed and desire to be richer at any cost. This leads him to engage in unscrupulous and manipulative behavior to accumulate money, power, and possessions, manipulating others and destroying relationships in the process. However, it is important to note that behind Mammon's sinister actions are deep-seated insecurities and abandonment issues that stem from his experiences in his past. At his core, Mammon is a complex character that hides a fragile side.

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↬|Leviathan|

Well, you see, Leviathan is a total otaku and a bit of a social misfit. Sometimes, when he's really really upset, he can get pretty aggressive and say some pretty cruel things. He can also get quite obsessive when he's passionate about something like a game or an anime. And let me tell you, he will *not* take any criticism about his favorite anime lightly! He can get pretty nasty when someone attacks his favorite characters. Just watch out when he starts making angry grunts and his tail starts lashing around.

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↬|Satan|

His most dangerous toxicity trait is probably his lack of empathy. He enjoys seeing others suffer. He takes ake pleasure in pain, which is why he often provoke others to fight. This has led to many dangerous situations.

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↬|Asmodeus|

There's a bunch of bad behavior with Asmodeus, considering his Avatar status. His most toxic behaviour being: that he tends to be quite possessive of those he loves and cares about, often being quite clingy and can sometimes get jealous whenever your attention is not focused on him. Although it is just how he is sometimes, it can get very tiring at times whenever you just want some space to yourself...

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↬|Beelzebub|

Beel's most dangerous behavior is his excessive gluttony. His addiction to food makes him careless and willing to do almost anything for the sake of satisfying his hunger. He can go to great lengths to obtain food, even resorting to stealing or harming others in the process. Ultimately, Beel's dangerous behavior stems from his inability to control his impulses and desires. It can cause harm not only to himself but also to those around him.

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↬|Belphegor|

Hmm... His most dangerous and toxic behavior is undoubtedly his tendency to push people away and to be extremely closed off emotionally and physically. If you tried to talk to him or get closer to him, he would push you away and shut down completely, making it impossible to get through to him. It's a defense mechanism he has developed to protect himself but it only ends up hurting others.

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↬|Diavolo|

His tendency to underestimate others and act over-confident, leading to risky situations. His impulsiveness and tendency to make quick decisions without consulting his council, which could have serious consequences for the Devildom. His lack of empathy and care for the feelings of others, which has caused strained relationships with some of the other demon brothers.

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↬|Barbatos|

The most dangerous/toxic behavior of Barbatos is likely his tendency to conceal information. As the Devildom's butler and advisor to its ruler, Barbatos possesses vast knowledge and a deep understanding of the realms and their inhabitants. However, his strategic nature may lead him to withhold crucial information from the MC, to protect them or keep them in the dark. This can create a lack of trust and understanding between them, which can become problematic and potentially harmful.

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↬|Simeon|

One of his most dangerous and toxic behaviors is his tendency to place the needs and desires of others above his own. He often puts himself in positions where he sacrifices his own well-being and happiness for the sake of others. This leads to exhaustion and burnout, as he consistently neglects his own needs and feelings in order to help or please others. Over time, this behavior can cause him to feel resentment and bitterness towards the people he helps, creating a toxic cycle that negatively affects both parties.

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↬|Solomon|

His most dangerous and toxic behavior has to be his tendency to prioritize his own interests and goals above all else. He believes that the ends justify the means and have no qualms about using any method necessary to achieve his objectives. This often leads him to use people as mere pawns or tools to further his goals, without any consideration for their well-being or feelings. He may even use manipulation or deception to get what he wants. Ultimately, his self-serving nature can lead to dangerous and toxic outcomes for those around him.

||[🅀uality]||

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[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; lucifer morningstar

requested by ; mod / self indulgent

fandom(s) ; hazbin hotel

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; lucifer morningstar

outline ; “dating headcanons for lucifer”

note ; this may be a touch out of character as i’ve never written for him before, but hopefully you’re all able to enjoy this piece either way ^^

warning(s) ; brief mentions to canon angst and one mildly suggestive bit, but mostly fluff!

after having a several thousand year long marriage fall apart on him and experiencing a strained relationship with his only child for a good number of years after that, it’s only natural that lucifer would struggle with letting himself fall in love and move on — both because he doesn’t want to risk pushing charlie away and because, well, despite being the prince of pride he has a lot of issues relating to his past and he’s worried about messing things up and losing someone else he loves

that’s not to say that courting the king of hell is impossible, far from it in fact, but that you just need to be patient with him — let him move at his own pace, he’s been out of the dating game for a while after all (if you could ever even consider him as being ‘in it’ at all given the unique circumstances under which he met his first wife)

despite being the embodiment of ‘pride’, he does deal with a great deal of insecurity and anxiety — about everything from his parenting to his creations to his relationship with you and even far beyond that — so any kind of verbal reassurance or praise will go a long way with him and will always be received with a great deal of warmth and gratitude

whisper about how much you love him as you hold him in your arms late in the evenings or early in the mornings, when you’re laying in bed and half asleep — making sure that you’re starting and ending each day on a positive, private, warm note no matter what happens between the ‘now’ and ‘then’

gush about his latest invention as you visit him in his workshop, commenting excitedly at each new feature and animatedly gesturing towards his whole collection of creations with nothing but genuine enthusiasm and awe written across your features — make sure he knows that his craftsmanship and efforts will never go unnoticed or unappreciated by you so long as he wants you by his side

encourage him to take those leaps of faith that he’d otherwise be too jaded or anxious to take on his own: hold his hand and help him find the strength to call up his daughter just to chat and give them their privacy once he’s back in his element and fully engaged with the conversation, give him a pep-talk before his latest meeting with heaven and their new emissary and promise that you’re only a text or call away if it gets too much for him (he’s never taken up your offer, but the promise always helps to calm his nerves), and just be there to push him forwards as his partner and be there to catch him if things don’t go his way

praise him for all of the features you love until his face is tinged a beautiful shade of red, his wings are all fluffed up, and he’s too flustered to even look you in the eye — compliment the angelic and the demonic, the human and inhuman, make sure there’s no doubt left in his mind that you’re completely and utterly infatuated with him in body, mind, and soul

oh and make no mistake this gentleman gives as good as he gets and he could easily spend days at a time talking about every little thing about you that he adores, every minor habit or quirk that most people wouldn’t even notice that makes his whole day that much brighter — there’s no room for any self doubt or self hatred when you’re in a relationship with this fallen angel because he loves you so deeply, so wholly, that you’ll inevitably start to love yourself that bit more through him

it’s extremely important to him that you get to know charlie and that she approves of your relationship — his daughter is his world, his everything, and as much as he adores you, he will not risk pushing her away again for any reason (as much as it would kill him inside to have to walk away from you)

that being said, charlie will inevitably end up really liking you and making an effort to get to know this person who her dad talks about all the time, making it abundantly clear that she approves of you and would be happy to have you in her life as her dad’s partner — and maybe another parental figure in her life depending on how things go, how your relationship with her evolves, and whether you prefer to be her ‘step parent’ or just her friend who happens to be dating her dad (she doesn’t mind either way, she just wants him to be happy)

between his angelic powers, extreme wealth, and prominent status in hell, lucifer is more than capable of spoiling you completely rotten — like as long as you’re with him, you’ll never want or need for anything as long as it’s within his abilities to get for you (whether that’s something more traditional like jewellery, clothes, books, or food, or something more niche and related to something you’re interested in, like a tool to help you engage in a hobby or a specific item you’ve been looking for to add to your collection)

he’s also not above just outright making you things as gifts — of course there are his ducks which he’s more than happy to share with you, but he’s also a pretty good cook and will make you breakfast in bed as a treat or as a way to cheer you up if you’ve been having a rough time

on a related note, this man goes all out for your anniversaries and on your birthday — he just… really loves being able to take care of you, that’s all

and despite all of that he still keeps each and every gift and card you give him — has a whole drawer dedicated to your letters and your gifts are scattered around the palace, with particularly sentimental items being kept in his bedroom and workshop

there are two pictures that he keeps on him at all times: one of him and charlie taken shortly after he helped rebuild the hotel and settled into his personal room there, and another of the two of you taken on your first anniversary of a couple — he regularly takes them out to help keep him motivated throughout the day, especially if his day has been rather draining for one reason or another

he’s extremely physically affectionate and gives the most amazing hugs — he uses his arms and his wings to hold you close and keep you warm and when you’re laying down it’s extremely easy for you to just fall asleep in his arms if you don’t make a conscious effort to stay awake and in the moment with him

his kisses can go a couple of different ways depending on his mood and the setting you’re in:

he can be gentlemanly and chaste if you’re in a formal setting or otherwise somewhere that requires him to uphold a certain image — limiting himself to brief pecks on the back of your hand, your cheeks, or your knuckles if he’s feeling especially bold (doing enough to show that you’re his partner but not enough that his ‘kingly’ persona is threatened)

he can also be very sweet and playful if you’re at home or around close friends and family — peppering kisses along your neck and jawline, kissing your lips and cheeks whilst brushing his fingers along your ticklish spots, nuzzling his ‘nose’ against yours before kissing you, etc. (showing affection in ways that are enough to make you laugh and lean into him, but not enough that he’d be making your loved ones uncomfortable by being a bit too intimate)

last but not least, he can also be passionate and intense when the two of you are alone and he’s practically aching to feel your lips on his — wet, open mouthed kisses against your lips, trailing slow kisses from the inside of your wrists up your arm whilst looking you in the eye, trailing his lips down your throat and alternating between kissing and playfully biting at your skin (nipping and marking at your pulse point every time without fail), trailing his mouth lower and lower until you’re so frustrated all you can do is pull him up by his collar and crash your lips against his own (making sure that you know that you’re desired as well as loved whilst also being a bit playful about getting what he wants from you)

he always makes sure that he’s able to spend some quality time with you each day beyond just your sleeping hours — whether that means planning a proper date, meeting up for lunch between meetings, or stopping by wherever you are at the time via teleportation just to check in and make sure everything’s okay

lucifer has a wide variety of pet names that he uses with you — this includes the classics like ‘sweetheart’, ‘angel’, and ‘love’, as well as some more personalised ones like ‘duckie’, and more humorous ones that he comes up with on the spot to make you laugh and smile — and he loves any nickname that you ascribe to him no matter how ridiculous other people may find them

more than happy to show you off to all of hell as his beloved partner and their future monarch that will be reigning by his side one day — he’s more than capable of defending you from any threats himself and the palace is well protected so he has absolutely no reservations about making it known to every demon and sinner that you belong to him, and that he belongs to you

[dollypopup]

People truly have no empathy for Colin at all, do they?

I've seen comments about how unfair he was to Penelope for his reaction to the Lady Whistledown reveal, disparaging him for 'pouting on the couch' or that he was unreasonable, or out of character, or he should have gotten over it more quickly, and that he left her in the street SO egregiously, and how DARE he say that she trapped him! and being furious that he iced her out and, worst of all, calling him a 'little bitch' for his response (sexist language? in MY fandom? it's more likely than you think!)

I need us to step into his shoes as a character for a moment, because honestly it makes so much sense to me why he was upset and reacted the way he did. And it all comes back to that mirror scene and his apology at the start of the season.

Why did Colin ultimately fall for Penelope? Because she made him feel seen. It was genuinely baffling to me in Episode 8 when Penelope talked about how it felt to be invisible, to be unheard, to search for a purpose, and the camera didn't pan to Colin. When that has been his ultimate insecurity for the entirety of his characterization. Colin related to Penelope because THEY are mirror images of each other, and what made it so dissatisfying for me at the end of the season was that the writing dropped that, but I digress.

Colin feels transparent with Penelope. And he likes that. He likes that she sees him because he feels that she sees him gently, and kindly, and with tenderness. He's concerned, of course, that she doesn't have the same feelings for him that he does for her, but he loves her, and it's a good feeling to love someone who knows and accepts you.

He wanted the same opportunity. They strip down in front of each other, and that's what made their first time so beautiful and meaningful for him. Not that they were naked, but that they were bare. That, for him, he bared it all for her. His heart, his feelings, his skin, his hopes and dreams. Colin has always been a vulnerable party in their relationship.

And finding out she is Lady Whistledown is the confirmation that such feelings were one sided for him.

Of course that fucking hurts!

Colin CRIES when he finds out she's Lady Whistledown. He is seconds away from sobbing in that street. He is betrayed, and she has no words with which to comfort him. Of course, we as the audience understand that as her fears come to fruition, that Colin can now never love her (as Eloise warned) (and also is not true, through all of it, he DOES love her) because he sees who she is in full and cannot accept it (yet), but for Colin, it is not necessarily that she is Lady Whistledown that hurts him the most. Listen to what he says first and foremost and you will recognize what he had the most immediate pain over: All the lies you have told me. . .

Because Colin is traumatized. This was his grief with Marina, as well: the lies.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: For Colin, love is being open, being honest, and choosing one another for it. Love is living in the light. And for him, Penelope has only allowed him to love half of her as a result of her secrecy. That's painful.

Even still, he chooses her.

But Penelope? Penelope chooses Lady Whistledown.

I agree that the 'entrapment' comment was harsh but. . .y'all, she did trap him. They were intimate together before he found out about Lady Whistledown, he knew she very well could have been with child, and that in breaking their marriage, he would be leaving her for the wolves. Her only prospect before him was Debling, and he's long gone. Colin loves her despite the fact that she hurt him, and he would never forsake her. Yes, he made the moves first. Yes, he gatecrashed her other engagement. Yes, in a way, he trapped her, too.

But he asked if she wanted to be intimate with him, and she said yes.

Did he leave her in the street after finding out about Lady Whistledown? Yeah, he did. In front of her carriage. She was literally about to get in it and go home. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do in an argument is to walk away. He is in tears. He just found out the woman he loves has lied to him for years. And she's clearly done this for a long time. In that moment, the big danger to her is what he can say to hurt her in his anger, not her getting in a carriage and rolling her way back to her house.

Please remember that Penelope ghosted him for months over one comment. He believed she would never forsake him and then she did. He came to HER and apologized after she made it clear that he hurt her, and it was a beautiful apology that also, very importantly, had an action attached to it to fix the harm.

That's what's missing in all of these scenes, that's why he's so hurt and can't leave that sofa. For him, that sofa is the place where he and Penelope came together as a couple, the last place he was happy with her and felt he knew her. To leave it, to sleep beside her, is to abandon that glowing past for an uncertain future, and he can't do that because she has not fixed her harm.

There are three steps to a good apology, and I will commend Penelope, she does 2 of the three. 1: Acknowledge the harm. 2: Apologize for the harm. 3: Fix the harm. In whatever way you can. Sometimes, this means if you broke something, to repair it or replace it, like a mug or a cup. Sometimes, this means assuring the action will not take place again, like I'm sorry I looked into your journal, I'll respect your privacy from now on. And then, only then, can you move forward.

The show fails in the fact that they double down on not fixing it. It tries, yes, in the sense that after she's been blackmailed, she comes to him and says she has to be honest with him, but she does not voice aloud that she will continue to be honest with him, or that they will be a unit together. She is an individual, and he is playing support. That's the deal he has to agree to.

Tell me you'd agree right off the cuff. You can't.

And if Lady Whistledown's actions are a source of pain, as he says in the second part of his confrontation All of the things you have written about me and my family well, Penelope intends to continue doing so by the end of the series.

She just intends to do it openly instead of anonymously. So of course Colin has a hard time with this. Finding out Penelope is Lady Whistledown will take time to process, and his intimacy with her stems from his emotional attachment. Of COURSE he doesn't sleep with her even though he's attracted to her when he's getting the blanket for the couch: their closeness has been cut, and he's feeling it like a wound.

So yes, Colin sleeps on that couch, and he finds some refuge as he digests the fact that whilst Pen is acknowledging that she hurt him, she doesn't intend to repair that harm. It is on him to do so, on him to build that bridge, and of course he needs time for it. He is alone, he has no one really to confide in, and Eloise took an entire year to forgive Penelope, yet we expect Colin to be over it in what? A few days?

His betrayal about Lady Whistledown is multifaceted:

1: It is an understanding that the woman he loves is also the woman who has lied to him

2: The woman he loves is the woman who disparaged him publicly and stands by that disparagement

3: The woman he loves has a legacy and a career when he doesn't, and he is digesting his envy and bitterness about it. The embarrassment of having revealed to her that he likes to write and for her to know whilst she is a more successful author than he is (THIS is the facet that he SHOULD be dealing with on his own, frankly. THIS is the 'build the bridge and get over it' bit, NOT the others)

4: He has been lied to in the past and now has trust issues, so he doesn't even know if he can believe she fully loves him

and 5: He is in a predicament where he will never be chosen first, and considering he never has been in his entire life, this is also a sting that will take a long time to heal (and don't come at me about how Penelope choosing her career is #girlboss. He asked her to give up a gossip column that has hurt him and her loved ones and is putting her actively in danger. he never asked her to stop writing. he never asked her to be a stay-at-home wife, he never intended to have her at home and pregnant. he wanted her to acknowledge that yes, LW was a persona she took on, just as he had a persona at the start of the season, and she no longer needed it and could walk freely with him into the light, writing novels and living a life with him hand in hand. that's not unreasonable. she didn't NEED to keep writing Lady Whistledown, and the fact that she, yet again, chose it when she has acknowledged how much harm and pain it has brought her and those around her felt like a massive step back in her development, but I digress)

Colin Bridgerton is, frankly, a more empathetic character than most of us would be. I have ended relationships for considerably less hurt than this, and whilst I understand that Penelope having a career is important, fuck, *I* have a career and I find it deeply fulfilling, and giving it up would be unthinkable. But at the same time, your career cannot come first in your life as it does for Penelope.

We end the series with her life still unbalanced. Throughout it all, the ONE thing she has always chosen has been Lady Whistledown, and there's a reason people say that constantly picking your career before your family and the people who love you is detrimental. It's because it is.

This is meant to be an escapist romance show. The romance between Polin felt lacking, not because Colin didn't choose Penelope fast enough, but because Penelope didn't choose him at all.

Because Colin did choose Penelope. Actively. Partly through honor (look me in my eyes, if he didn't, he KNEW he'd be damning her, he loves her too damn much for that) but mostly through love. She hurt him and he chose to stay. Yes, he slept on the couch. Yes, he processed his emotions. Yes, he was mad. But he was incredibly reasonable throughout all of it, especially considering she essentially went "I'm sorry I hurt you, but I'm going to continue doing this thing" about it.

But what did Penelope choose? To continue writing the article that hurt the people around her, under the promise that 'I'll be better about it, now!'. Not Colin. Not her love story. But her career.

I need to be clear now that they did NOT sell me on the fact that she chose both. She chose 1, very clearly, and the other came as a consolation prize.

Colin should not be a consolation prize.

In the end, Colin chose his love for her over his ego, his pride, and his own self love. I hope in the future it will be more equitable between the two of them, because when he delivered the 'If my only purpose in life is to love a woman as great as you' speech, I felt my heart breaking for him. I would never want that in a romance from a female character saying so to a man, and I don't want it from a man to woman, either.

Colin Bridgerton starts the series in the shadows.

And he ends it in them, too.

[lurkingshan]

I've been in multiple tumblr fandoms over the years and the same shit comes up over and over again wrt arguments about how we all engage with our chosen media on here, so here are a few things to keep in mind that have helped me along the way:

Not everyone is going to engage in the same way as you, and that's good, actually. Some people are purely here to gush over the things they like. Some people are here to do deep analytical breakdowns which will include criticism. Some people are cheerleaders. Some people are haters. A lot of people are a mix of both depending on what they're talking about on any given day. It's all good and valid, and it's what gives this space variety, allows us to learn from each other, and keeps it interesting.

The filter, unfollow, and block functions are your friend. If you love a mutual but hate the volume or the way they talk about a certain thing, just add it to your filtered tags (relatedly: tag your shit so people can filter you when needed!). If you consistently don't vibe with the way a person chooses to engage on here, just unfollow them. If you find them actively offensive or detrimental to your mental health, hit that block button, baby. We are all anonymous internet strangers and no one will die.

Someone expressing a different opinion from yours is not a personal attack on you. If someone hates a thing you like, they are not calling you stupid for liking it. If they love a thing you hate, there's nothing wrong with them, they are just taking something different from it than you are. That shit is all about you and your own insecurities, don't try to put it on them.

Vague posting is rude. If you want to directly respond to something someone said to get better clarity about what they meant, reply to their post or shoot them an ask or DM and talk to them about it. If you simply want to express a counterpoint without directly engaging them, just post your own take without vaguely alluding to them and building what is almost certainly a strawman of their original point. People you're vaguing can see you on here, folks. Don't be a dick.

Credit and reblog other people's ideas when you are building on them, and be kind to the creators who provide the artwork that make this place so special and unique. Reblogging is the lifeblood of this website. It's the only way people get to see content that is by anyone they don't follow, and the gifmakers on here in particular put in so much time and effort to give us beautiful images--share their work and tell them you appreciate it! You also don't have to agree with every single word of a meta post to reblog it (why would you expect to, it comes from a different brain than yours), and you absolutely should be crediting people and sharing their words when they sparked something that inspired your own thoughts. This is just being a good community member.

Embrace the difference between meta and fanwanking. Meta writing is analysis of the actual media content as it is presented, with arguments based in the canon text. Fanwanking is doing your own work to fill in gaps or create headcanons to supplement the canon text. Some people prefer content that leaves a lot of gaps because they love to creatively fanwank; some people prefer to be told complete stories without having to do all that extra work to make them make sense. These are both very cool and fun ways to engage, but when you're fanwanking be aware that those ideas are all coming from you, not the actual media being discussed, so others might not vibe with your interpretation.

When posting your own opinions, try to be clear about where you're coming from and why. If you have a personal experience or bias that is affecting your read, own it. If you're looking at a piece of media from a specific angle related to your own interests and learning, say that. It helps other people to know where you're coming from and why you're thinking about something in a certain way that can then help them puzzle out why they feel differently.

You don't owe anyone your presence here, and you don't have to express opinions on everything or respond to tags or asks if you don't have anything to say. Sometimes you might just want to take a break from posting, some things in the discourse might just flow right on by you, sometimes you will not have a firm opinion on a debate. You can post as much or as little as you want. You can suddenly decide you don't want to talk about a show anymore. You can not log into your tumblr for days or weeks at a time. Do you, boo!

Most people come to tumblr because they do want to engage with others, and this place can be a lot of fun if you just take what you need from it and let things that aren't serving you go.

[artemisia-black]

About the game ☕: Fandom Sirius. That's it. 🙂

Ooh fanon Sirius aka my Roman Empire.

Look I’ve said before that I’m not the fandom police, nor do I want to stifle people’s creativity, but fanon Sirius drives me up the wall.

However, being able to extrapolate from a text is a reading comprehension skill that everyone who engages with media in a creative or critical way needs to develop, and character study provides a means to this.

Within canon, there’s so much material to work with and he has some clearly defined traits and somethings that are up for interpretation, so why has fandom invented this different (and worse) character.

Canon Sirius would hate fanon Sirius, that is how divorced they are from each other. And I can’t count the amount of times i’ve noped out of things because fanon Sirius is shrieking about his hair being out of place ( whereas canon Sirius is wearing tattered robes with matted hair for 90% of canon) or he can’t reach things on high shelves (when he’s frequently described as tall and is also a wizard who can summon shit).

The flattening of his character also feels lazy and reliant on hackneyed tropes . It is possible for a good looking person to be clever (it is not either/or). And it is possible for someone to be incredibly loyal, but also casually cruel, outwardly arrogant but also deeply insecure- good character writing is about these multitudes.

Additionally, within fanon, there’s no variety in who he’s shipped with or how his romantic life (or lack there of) is interpreted and it starts to give cult vibes.

[nana-mania]

“HIS RED FLAGS” what does he do that make him an obvious red flag?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ headcanon

࿐*�� feat : michael kaiser, sae itoshi, ryusei shidou, alexis ness

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst.

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : bodyshaming, profanities, manipulation, mention of intercourse, stalking, toxic relationship

MICHAEL KAISER

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ He is an arrogant and egocentric man, always bragging about himself on daily basis with you. Frequently, he belittles you and pressures you into improving yourself more. He wants to make sure you're worthy to stand next to him to maintain his distinguished image as German prodigy. Since he views himself as embodiment of perfection, you must be as perfect as him. Insulting your insecurities whenever you experience low self-esteem is his way to motivate you to better yourself.

“Stop eating that unhealthy junk. You will gain weight.”

“If you don't start working out and get rid of those fat, I'm gonna fucking dump you.”

“I don't care! Starve yourself to death or anything. If you still love me, then stop whining.”

SAE ITOSHI

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Living in Spain for years and learning the harsh reality of life at such young age damages his emotional growth as a teenager. He grows up as an ignorant man who lacks empathy toward others' feelings, even his own significant other. Engaging in relationship with Sae is like one-sided love. It is only you who is always concerned about the relationship and strive hard to maintain a stable relationship. Sae, in the other hand, could care less of your feelings and emotions. Often being bluntly cruel and hurting your feelings, intentionally and unintentionally. His career as soccer player is his sole priority after all.

“Can't you see I'm tired? Leave me alone.”

“Why should I waste my energy and time on a stupid date? Just stay at home.”

“Stop being mean? I'm merely being honest. It's not my fault that you're too sensitive.”

RYUSEI SHIDOU

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Ryusei is one manipulative partner, messing with your mind and emotions frighteningly often in order to force you to stay by his side despite how toxic the relationship is. He is selfish, obsessive and possessive. He makes you believe nobody else will love you as much as he does, even tricking your mind into believing he is the only one in this world who accept you as who you are. If breaking your mind is the only mean to turn you into an obedient doll for him, he will resort to such cruelty. He also despises talking things out when conflict brews up between you and him. To him, the sole way to make peace with you is through intercourse. He never force himself on you but he frequently seduces you into having sex as distraction to avoid having serious talk. You can never resist him and always submit yourself to him willingly. His words of temptation...is irresistible.

“Break up? There is no one better than me out there.”

“Oh, sweetheart...you can never find another person to love you. I'm the only one capable of doing so..”

“Have you forgotten? You're all alone, sweetheart. Who else will be by your side when you're at your lowest?”

ALEXIS NESS

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Alexis has major trust issue and inferior complex. Often attempting to be the dominant one in the relationship by controlling you. He easily misunderstands your words or action. He unhealthily believes his words as the only truth, frequently coming up with his own speculation and accuses you of mistakes you never commit. Once he loses his mind, he becomes quite violent yet he tries to resist himself from hurting you physically. He usually suppresses himself by throwing objects on the floor to relieve his anger and warning you. However, sometime he only verbally attacks you by comparing you to other people; specifically his exes. Considering his trust issue is extremely severe, he stalks on you whenever you go out with your friends or by yourself.

“What? You want to see your friend? What's wrong with staying home with me all day? Have you lost your feelings toward me?”

“Who the fuck is that bastard with you earlier? Are you cheating on me?!”

“Shut the hell up. Why the hell are you like this? All my exes are not as annoying as you.”

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this headcanon! likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

[chaifootsteps]

That merch post from yesterday came off as so petulant and insecure. I don’t even care about the ship but that entitled behaviour puts me off more than the actual content.

It’s a little bizarre that stolitz shippers act like the victim and underdog when they are far and away the loudest most influential voices and Brandon Adam and Vivzie have their back 100% of the time. Even dunking on and rewriting other characters, for the ships sake. This show is now for stolitz shippers. Cartoon Universe, Ayy Lmao, Sarcastic Chorus, all those people are big, loud supporters. Who call everyone else media illiterate, too SJW, too sensitive, homophobic, etc. Many people have been banned from Reddit and discord spaces just for saying the ships writing is inconsistent, which is taken as being an ‘anti’ and delivering a personal attack. They just sit back and say “it’s canon, Viv liked our tweets, so there!!” So…what? Is there a prize?

Also. From that post, the shippers say they don’t want us to watch the show or engage in fandom at all if we don’t love that pairing. What’s that about? A real “you’re either with us or against us! Our dear leader!” energy.

Quickest way to kill helluva boss is saying if you aren’t a stolitz fan you should leave the show. Because the numbers are talking and the episodes about those 2 are barely passing 12M compared to the 30M from before. And declining.

It's creepy and cultish as hell. This is a group of people who couldn't care less about their ship's nonexistent chemistry and even less existent moments of tenderness and solely about "owning the haters." Half of them openly hate Blitzo, but Viv's given them her wink of approval to harass critics and they intend to milk it for all the cheap dopamine it's worth.

I hope they get exactly what they demand...that anyone who doesn't unconditionally and uncritically love Stolitz just stops watching.

[anxiousdreamcore]

May I humbly asks for your interpretation/opinion/view of the Spider & Quaritch as well as the Spider & Sullies relationships/dynamics ?

Sure! I’ve complained about how my opinion of the characters changed throughout the year of being engaged in the fandom so I might as well share! 🤭

Spider: An audacious, frat-boy-ish teen who stinks of dirt, sweat and will eat a live bug to gross you out. Kiri said that he bites and she was 100% honest because this kid will fling his mask off and tear into your throat if you mess with his baby siblings 😤 at the same time, he’s more than capable of being responsible and gentle, especially when it comes to Pandora, its wildlife and cultures, all of which are clearly very important to him. A menace with a heart of gold and an iron fucking will, untameable. Unbreakable. No authority scares him.

Quaritch: A man so damaged he can’t be repaired. He’s seen too many horrors, killed too many people, watched too many comrades die, has been infected with too much poison. It runs in his veins and destroys everything he touches…which is precisely why he is only likeable as a father. He has never been one before and that part of him is completely new, not yet damaged. The only part of him not yet tainted by the rotten creature that is the rest of him. A mangy, old army dog that will burn Pandora to the ground if its chain is broken, but will lie down and wag its tail for his child, and only him.

Oh, and he’s mentally ill too, at least to some extent, canonically. It’s not to say that his mental illness makes him a bad guy. No. It’s the lack of care he puts into coping with it that contributes to the dumpster fire that is Miles Quaritch. My personal headcannon is that he needs mood-stabilisers yet regularly skips them.

Spider & Quaritch dynamic: Two outcasts who bond over being isolated by their respective groups. Also, Lima and Stockholm syndrome duo! Quaritch gets an instant liking to Spider that soon grows into fatherly love, as Spider brings out the best in him; his most pure, childish and kind traits. Does the rest of him, the rotten, the poisoned, hate it? Oh, absolutely. But he can’t, won’t stop the wild-child from worming his way deep into his decaying heart. Spider meanwhile battles his own platonic feelings and holds onto his resentment as much as he can. He wants to love Miles but he doesn’t. He loves him but he wishes him an agonising death. He wants to be hugged by him and sink a blade into his chest. He wants Miles to prove him that not all grown ups are rotten and he can still be loved. He wants Miles to love him.

Spider & Sully siblings dynamic: “A family disappointment and local cool stoner to his siblings, who are more than happy to take after him because they think his utter freedom and lack of care for authority is cool” kinda vibe. Will play fight with his siblings and bite their noses before kissing them better and shoving them away. Calls Tuk a little gremlin affectionately. Brings Lo’ak back down to Pandora when he spirals into his insecurities or gets too bold and self-sacrificial. Is platonic soulmates with Kiri and feels a profound connection to her, as she does to him. Resents Neteyam for abandoning their little group to become a "respectable warrior". Wants him back. Wishes things could be like when they were kids.

Spider & Neytiri dynamic: She she sees him as a pesky, dangerous demon child that…that didn’t do anything but stay loyal, through all the torture and horrors. A lot of guilt is present between them after the final battle, and they will definitely have a horrible, explosive argument about it sooner or later, but for now they are content at silently sharing space, at time quipping and taking light jabs at each other, because that is their cycle. Playfulness, fear, resentment, until it all explodes and they scream at each other, then the cycle repeats, fuelled by guilt. Is there a chance to stop it? Will they ever be okay?

Spider & Jake dynamic: Hero worship turned disappointment. Spider idolised him for his status and incredible feats as a child but as he grew, and Jake consistently kept him at an arms length without establishing clear boundaries, the constant pining to have him as a father became a never-ending, aching pain in Socorro’s chest. Jake gave him an empty hope that they might one day be a family, without ever clarifying that it’ll never be true, confusing the boy until he was proved not once, not twice, but thrice, that he isn’t needed, isn’t missed, or loved by Jake. He’s a stray animal, and that is all he’ll ever be to him. He knows better now than to wish for something that can never be…doesn’t even want to. Quaritch might be a horrific monster, but at least he genuinely loves him. He doesn’t need Jake’s pathetic scraps of affection anymore. He doesn’t need him anymore.

•

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

a brief retrospective on Louis and Violet as love interests, Clementine's bisexuality, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this

In December of 2019, I made a series of posts called "An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Excellent Love Interests" that explored my feelings on the topic after seeing a lot of fighting in the fandom over who's better; who is the "right" choice for Clementine?

The answer is simple: there isn't an objectively correct choice.

I compared Louis and Violet to the romantic options in other games, including Life is Strange, Persona 4, King's Quest 2015, and Catherine, as well as TWDG: A New Frontier. I wanted to show how much better TFS handled the romance versus those games, why we should be grateful for what we got since it could've been a lot worse, and how the fighting over who's "right" was a waste of time.

I suppose it's only fitting that I'd be driven to revisit this topic after seeing fans continue to argue amongst themselves over this years later in the trenches of a weakening fandom.

Just when I think I'm done writing pieces for TWDG, some random redditor writes an essay about how violentine only exists for "woke points" that grabs me by the throat and throws me down. Then another will insist that clouis is abusive since Louis voted against them in ep2 in their own essay and I'm dragged back here, kicking and screaming.

While I think my previous Excellent Love Interests posts about this are on the juvenile side, I do still agree with my main point: Louis and Violet are excellent characters who make for compelling love interests. The fact that we got them both, that we were given the choice, and that they're as well done as they are, is something I don't think we appreciate enough. Hell, I don't think we even appreciate that Clementine's a canonically bisexual protagonist as much as we should.

We're too busy trying to one up each other with, "Well, actually, clouis is superior because of this and this," and "no, you're wrong, violentine is actually better because of this and this," and sometimes a wild non-shipper will appear out of nowhere to slap down an, "actually, you both suck, singletine is better."

It's sad that this is what fandom inevitably defaults to, always. It stops being about the game we love, the thing that brought us here, and it becomes a pissing match.

Doesn't matter what fandom it is; we end up projecting too much of ourselves onto fictional characters, investing too much of our time into ship culture, hyper-fixating until it becomes part of us... and let's be real, sometimes it's in unhealthy ways.

So, when someone else attacks the things we're attached to, it becomes a personal attack... and when we feel threatened, we become defensive and retaliate... and sometimes, we take it too far and target others out of insecurity, to feel validated, even if it means going after someone who is just minding their own business.

Also, I think some people are just assholes who want to piss on everyone.

Because of this, I would like to discuss Louis and Violet as romanceable characters, why they're both important to TFS no matter who you choose, why Clementine being a bisexual protagonist matters, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this.

For many personal reasons, I've always been trepid about being open with my sexuality as a bi woman. I've done a lot of reflection this year on why that is; internalized misogyny, the biphobia that lingers in the queer community, insecurities, regrets, how I tend to be harsher on female characters over male characters, why it took me so long to not feel afraid of engaging with queer media, admitting I was wrong about so many things I've said in the past, how it's all affected my writing, etc.

When TFS released and I made this blog, I had already accepted my bisexuality but was in no way public about it, not online or in my personal life. But playing the first two episode of TFS, being presented with both Louis and Violet as potential romantic partners struck something inside of me.

Yes, I picked Louis; we all know I'm a major clouis shipper at this point, and if you're new here, then now you know, too.

But it's the fact that Violet's also an option, that with just a few different button presses, Clementine could've fallen for her just as she did with Louis; that there's evidence in game that she shows interested in both of them no matter your choices; that no one in-game judges Clementine for who she chooses to be with... that meant something to me in a way that it hadn't before.

TFS wasn't the first game I played with a bi protagonist; in Excellent Love Interests, I compared Louis and Violet to Life is Strange's Chloe and Warren. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the first LiS game overall, but I've been quite open about my dislike of Chloe and indifference to Warren.

Chloe, to me, is everything I dislike in a love interest, predominately in wlw. 2023 was the year of "CJ dives into sapphic literature and it's a 50/50 chance of striking gold or gettin' hella eaten by disappointment, shaka brah." Meaning I've read a lot of wlw novels, and all the ones I hated featured a Chloe clone, sometimes done even worse.

And Warren? I'll be real honest with you- I couldn't even remember what his name was when I started writing this. I had to go back and check. That tells you what I think of him, no?

So, LiS didn't strike me the same way. Sure, I knew Max was a bi protagonist and that's great, but the choices weren't appealing to me. This was when I was a teenager still somewhat in denial of my sexuality, which most definitely contributed to me being uncomfortable when faced with a wlw relationship portrayed in-game, especially when I found myself wishing Kate was an option for Max... but y'know, "shhhhhhh if I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist."

When the first episode of TFS released, I was older, I was no longer in a not-so-great relationship, and had better accepted who I am. The first episode does a great job of introducing you to Louis and Violet, and giving you the opportunity to spend more time with the one you're interested in.

I actually really liked them both when ep1 dropped, but I've always had a preference for a character who is kind, deflects with humor, and tends to be picked on by the rest of the cast... so it was inevitable that I'd stick with Louis. Though I won't discredit Violet in ep1, or the rest of the game, just because I didn't choose her in the end.

That's one of the best things about Louis and Violet as options; they're opposites, yet alike in many ways. They have their appeals and charms. They're flawed. It never feels like a "love triangle" situation where they're fighting over Clementine. Louis and Violet are friends who have known each other from before the walkers came. It's refreshing to have two characters who are interested in the same person but don't go for each other's throats over it. When they do argue over her, it's more to do with AJ shooting Marlon and whether it's safe for the group to let them stay.

I can't fault anyone who struggled to pick between them. When someone talks about who they picked and why, it's all about the player's preferences.

It's your choice to make, and no matter what, you're not wrong for it.

This season concludes Clementine's story, regardless of what some comics will say. It's the last fight. It's her happy ending. She and AJ finally found a home, a family.

I've played these games since S1 came out in 2012, over ten years ago. Clementine holds a special place in my heart. Not only did this important character have a great final season [despite Telltale shutting down and TFS nearly being left incomplete, remember] but she's also revealed to be canonically bisexual.

They didn't release the whole season and then as an afterthought be like, "oh yeah btw she's bi, she has oneline of flirty dialogue with this character so see? we did good rep."

Yeah, I'm side eyeing you, ANF.

They didn't try to hide it. They presented it to the player unapologetically and made a conscious decision to exclude anything biphobic from other characters... which meant a lot to me.

Biphobia is real and it's not that I don't want it explored well in media, but there's something appealing and safe about a game with a bisexual main character who isn't questioned about it negatively; "You're bi? Doesn't that mean you cheat on all your partners?"

To give a compliment to Life is Strange: True Colors, I had a similar feeling in that game, too. Alex is openly bi, she can date either Steph or Ryan and no one questions the "legitimacy" of her bisexuality.

Because that's always a thing on top of everything else, y'know? "You're a bad bi unless you're with the 'gayer option.'" "Bisexuality isn't real, you're just confused." "I don't date girls who've been tainted by a man." "Oh, you're into girls? How about a threesome?"

Violet never turns her nose up at Clementine for admitting she had a crush on Gabe. Louis isn't ever gross about Clementine and Violet getting close. It speaks volumes for their characters and how accepting they, and everyone else at Ericson, are of Clementine no matter who she chooses, if anyone.

That acceptance, even if it's just in a game, means more than words can express to queer players who don't feel that acceptance in their daily lives.

Which means it hurts all the more when it comes to the fandom's own display of biphobia; "You're bi but ship clouis? Why ship something hetero when violentine is right there?" "Well, MY Clementine's straight because she picked Louis! Stop forcing the gay onto MY Clementine!"

Clementine's important to all of us. Why do you think so many people are pissed about the comics to the point of spewing disgusting bile toward Tillie Walden? I've said my piece on that plenty times before, so allow me to say it on this; the representation of bisexuality in Clementine is beautifully woven through TFS in ways that are subtle yet impactful, and I thank TFS for giving that to us.

One argument I've come across recently against Clementine's bisexuality, and violentine in general: "blegh they only included violentine/made Clem bi for lgbt points." y'know... as if that's a bad thing.

It bothers me because A. saying "I'm not homophobic *but*-" and then making a homophobic argument against violentine while insisting that Clementine's bisexuality came out of nowhere and was forced is icky, and B. I know I've said similar things about violentine in the past. I know I used to argue that violentine's underdeveloped, yet the devs pushed it to the forefront over clouis to pat themselves on the back for doing representation, etc.

I don't believe that anymore; remember when I brought up people making arguments out of insecurity? Yeah, that and being lowkey bitter that violentine got more dev attention than clouis sometimes even though like... that doesn't matter? It literally doesn't matter. That's what I meant when I said you get so invested that certain things feel like a personal attack when they're not.

Some of the developers of TFS are queer people. They probably wanted a bi protagonist with a wlw option because that representation is important to them and they had the opportunity to express it, not because they were trying to get "points" with anyone. Go listen to the commentaries for TFS; they talk about violentine with nothing but positivity, and they didn't do that to shade Louis or clouis shippers. And if you do think they did it shade fans, then maybe stop and consider why; do you actually believe that or are you annoyed that your fave wasn't the center of attention?

On the flip side, I also want to say that gloating and insisting that violentine is the better/right choice because of these things is also unpleasant and untrue. It sucks when it feels like things are biased against you and it sucks even more when that bias is weaponized by other fans to beat you down.

But honestly? If you need this much validation on your opinions about fictional characters, maybe you should stop to think about why that is and what it says about you, yeah?

Truly, this whole clouis versus violentine thing is irritating at best, vile at worse. Thankfully it doesn't happen as much on tumblr given the state of the fandom, and everyone's at least agreed that no matter their feelings toward each other, clemricca is worse. So, that's something, I guess.

I think the best way I can put this is you don't get to dictate what other people think and feel. Being passionate is great until it becomes an excuse to be an asshole. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you need to put your big kid pants on and accept that.

I'm under no impression that the fighting will ever stop, even when this fandom is dried up with only bones and memories haunting its desert... but at the very least, I can point some of it out and ask that we do better than this.

The focus gets lost in the fighting, and that focus is Louis and Violet themselves. Y'know, the two this retrospective's about.

Remember when I talked about Persona 4 in Excellent Love Interests and how much it sucks when the person you want to romance isn't actually an option--?

Hmm? What's that? Ah, yes, right- @pi-creates insists I add that TFS and Persona 4 actually are the same because Aasim wasn't an option and they're still bitter about that... but this isn't about Aasim, that's a topic for another day. Sorry Pi, but thanks for the screenshots used in this retrospective👍

Anyway, TFS gave us two excellent choices, and it would've been worse off had it only given us one of them, or none at all.

Louis wears charisma as a mask and uses humor as a shield to deflect. Violet, for as quiet and standoffish as she first appears, has a heart she's both eager and reluctant to share.

Louis is warm curtains of sunlight seeping through the murmuring woods of green leaves and little song birds. A heart carved into the rustic wood of an out-of-tune piano. Music echoing in the early morning hallways.

Violet is the glow of a full moon that illuminates still waters so the stars can dance in its reflection. Paint smeared over finger tips to offer a piece of herself meant to be worn. Constellations of stars named in secret.

They're both lonely people, often misunderstood by the others at Ericson, and sometimes by each other. They want to be known. They want to be seen.

But fear is a powerful wall to overcome.

And that's the beauty of choice. You get the impression of knowing them in the beginning, but it rarely breaks surface tension; Louis is nice and funny but undependable, Violet's rude and reserved and a little awkward. Neither are outspoken about any issues around Ericson, content to keep their heads down.

Clementine has to make the effort to know them, and the game establishes this by asking you an unassuming question: do you want to go hunting with Louis or fishing with Violet?

Clementine either makes an effort to understand Violet's feelings toward Brody and why she's so mean to her, and try to help her through it... or she doesn't listen to what Violet's saying, is dismissive, and ends up making things worse.

When Clementine goes hunting with Louis, she has to make the decision to spend time with him or ignore him in favor of hunting, and should she choose him, he opens up to her just a bit.

Then comes the confrontation with Marlon at the end of the episode where Clementine has to make the choice of who to appeal to. The gravity of this choice is often glossed over, I think.

Marlon has a gun pointed at her head, and she pleas for Louis or Violet to step in and save her. Both are hesitant because of course they are! They've known Marlon longer, he has a gun, and he's using manipulation to scare them into submission; he uses his friendship against Louis, and Minerva against Violet.

But when Clementine gets through to them? They stand between her and Marlon in rather in-character ways; Louis eases in with his hands up, attempting to deescalate the situation while Violet pulls out a weapon and demands he back off.

They risked getting shot. They risked death. They knew what was happening was wrong. They didn't want Clementine to die, they didn't fully believe Marlon's bullshit but were too scared to step forward until Clementine asked them, too. In that moment she basically told them, "I trust you. Instinct tells me you are the one who can stop this. My life is in your hands."

This choice changes them, and this moment ripples through the rest of the season. It makes perfect sense that Louis would be upset over Marlon's death and feel unsafe with Clementine and AJ there whereas Violet sees the death as justified and Clementine and AJ shouldn't be kicked out over it. It's an overwhelming situation for everyone.

I've talked about ep2 and the vote until my lungs nearly collapsed and I saw the gates of Hell over the horizon... but that's fine, I can talk a little more about it and maybe this time the flames with cleanse me of my sins or something.

This is where the fighting really began, and I shouldn't have to say it again, but I will anyway: There isn't an objectively correct answer here, there's only personal preference.

Louis and Violet take very clear, opposite stances on this situation. I think they're both a little wrong and a little right; they shouldn't ignore that AJ killed Marlon, but kicking them out isn't the best solution either.

As a clouis shipper, I happen to like the way these events play out with Louis' vote. But not everyone feels that way. For some, Louis' vote is a deal breaker, making Violet the more appealing option given she voted for Clementine and AJ to stay.

Do you want a girl that's been by Clementine's side from the beginning and was vocal about keeping her and AJ here?

Great, Violet's the choice for you. Enjoy the lovely moonlight and constellation mini-game.

Do you want the extra angst of a boy who made a vote he comes to regret and then does everything he can to apologize and make it up to Clementine?

Wonderful, here's Louis. He'll play you a song he wrote and then name it after Clementine, it's very cute.

While on the topic of ep2, I also want to discuss the episode's final choice of saving either Louis or Violet and the consequences.

You know how in other games, say like massive RPG's with "good" and "evil" choices you can make that end up defining your character? You know how sometimes people question why developers even bothered putting those evil routes in since a majority of people will choose to be good? This isn't a new topic of discussion, but it's relevant to my point- they do it because the option to be evil makes the choice to be good more impactful. If you do choose to be evil, you did it knowing you could've been good and yet you decided chaos was the way to go, and now everyone and everything around your character suffers.

I don't think it only applies to binary "good" versus "evil" choices, either.

TWDG is great with its "You can only save one of them" choices, even if they usually fumble with the consequences in later episodes.

When I'm faced with this choice to save either Louis or Violet, I don't save Louis just because I like him more. Sure, initially that's why I saved him on my first run... but then the rest of the season came out and I learned the consequences of the choices I did and didn't make.

Knowing that he'll get his tongue cut out if I don't save him makes me all the more anxious to choose him. And I know violentine shippers are gutted knowing that if they don't save her, she'll feel so betrayed that she turns on Clementine and in the end is blinded in the boat explosion, so they're just as eager to save her.

But all of us have to live with the consequences of what happens to the one we didn't save, too. We made the decision to save the one we love at the cost of hurting the other we didn't love enough. You can't save them both. You're forced to hurt one of them in order to protect the other.

And it doesn't even stop there. TFS isn't done twisting the knife.

Mere moments before you have to make the choice to save one of them, Lilly's standing over Clementine with her finger on the trigger... only to then be tackled by the person you didn't choose to spend time with.

They just saved Clementine's life only to be dragged away by their neck, and the game asks you what that's worth: They got captured saving you, so do you save them in return or do you remain loyal to the one you chose before?

And when you know the consequences of both routes, when you know Louis will have his tongue cut out and Violet will have her eyes burned?

Louis and Violet are good people at their cores who only wanted to be understood and loved, and no matter what, you have to abandon one of them for the other... and they are left physically and mentally traumatized because of it.

But wait, there's more. The one you didn't save will always survive to the end and act as a constant reminder of what you chose... but the one you saved? If you don't trust AJ, then you'll be forced to watch them get torn apart and eaten alive by a herd of walkers. The only way to save them is to trust AJ so that he shoots Tenn.

A child has to die in order for you to save the one you love again, a choice you indirectly made.

The ending shows you the one you didn't save, and it shows you Tenn's grave... and it presents a quiet question: was it worth it?

Would you make those choices again?

That's the power Louis and Violet bring to TFS.

That's why the choice matters.

We justify trusting AJ because we'd rather see Louis and Violet live over Tenn, knowing we're taking away the best friend AJ's ever had and allowing Minerva to get her way. We save Louis knowing that it breaks something inside of Violet and results in her permanently losing most of her eyesight. We save Violet knowing that we'll find Louis bloody and sobbing in the cell after having his tongue cut out of his mouth.

And we argue about it amongst ourselves even though it's all fucked. There isn't a true happy ending here, not for everyone.

Louis and Violet stand on their own as great characters, but you only get the true depth depending on how you play. They're excellent love interests because they care for Clementine. Through their relationship with her, they grow as people and find the acceptance and love they're starved for.

It's not perfect, but it honestly doesn't need to be. There was care woven into these characters. Both routes have a wide appeal. That means something to so many people.

I know we as fans often will say we wanted more, we wanted this and that, we wish this was different. It's not a dating sim where the main objective is to woo them. It's not a massive RPG with hundreds of hours to explore every nook and cranny of their characters. This is a Telltale game. It's a narrative with Clementine and AJ at the forefront, and it's up to you whether you want Louis or Violet to share that spotlight.

It's a story about Clementine finding a home, about molding what kind of survivor AJ comes. It's about Clementine meeting two broken people with glass shards at their feet, about her glass mixing with theirs. It's a game about choice; which glass pieces do you pick up, and which do you step on?

We should take more time to appreciate Louis and Violet. We should share our appreciation for the development team for giving us a bisexual lead with two great love interests, especially since we almost didn't get TFS in its entirety; we can hate Skybound as much as we want for the Clementine comics, but without them, this team wouldn't have been able to finish the game they were clearly passionate about.

We should have more self-awareness and try to understand why we like and dislike things without targeting others.

In conclusion?

I think they're both neat 👍

[sokkastyles]

I do think it's a shame that people are so unwilling to engage with Kiyi as a character, particularly what she means to Azula because there is a lot of interesting stuff there that remains unexplored because people are so into the idea that she exists to be a "replacement sister" for Zuko and that's BAD. And like, I agree that Zuko doesn't need a replacement sister. But just because AZULA sees Kiyi that way doesn't make it true. Azula's instant hatred of Kiyi and her accusation that her mother replaced her says way more about Azula and her own internal conflict than anything. There's also a lot of interesting stuff in the way Zuko interacts with Kiyi, the way Zuko wants to protect Kiyi's innocence because it's something he never had and Azula's resentment of it for the same reason.

And the thing is, the comics do make parallels between Kiyi and Azula, but it's not to show that Kiyi is a monster or that Azula never did anything wrong and everyone just unfairly misjudged her. Azula meeting this little girl who is her half sister, who likes to mutilate her dolls, who is a firebending prodigy, who is too precocious for her own good, that Azula instantly hates and sees as a symbol of her mother's rejection of her, is meant to mirror her own self loathing and awareness that her father made her into something she doesn't want to be, deep down. Kiyi might have been Azula if Azula had not grown up as the Fire Nation princess and Ozai's golden child.

Also, as much as I have spoken against the "replacement sister" interpretation, Zuko is allowed to want to have a relationship with his half sister. Ursa is allowed to have another child when she was forbidden from seeing Zuko and Azula by Ozai. I really dislike the way certain parts of the fandom seek to control Zuko and Ursa's relationships because you know, that's what Ozai did. This idea that it's a slight against Azula for Kiyi to exist and be in her brother and mother's life reeks of Azula's own insecurity and desire to control the relationships of the people in her life.

[warningsine]

If any of the followers wants to help, it'd be appreciated.

So. What's an adult TV series that has

complex/compelling female leads (don't have to be queer, but it's a bonus if there are some) or an ensemble cast with a lot of women,

an engaging story,

has a somewhat active/enthusiastic fandom on here (doesn't have to be HOTD or "Yellowjackets" levels of enthusiastic).

I dropped "Good Girls" again after finishing the first two episodes of season 4, because as much as I love the ladies, the arcs are repetitive af at this point.

I wanted to watch "The Good Fight" and "Black Sails," but I'm afraid they'll have to wait. "The L Word" and "Orphan Black" too.

Some of the series I enjoyed at some point:

"The Handmaid's Tale," OITNB, "I May Destroy You," "Unbelievable," "Veep," "Dead Ringers," "The Good Wife," "My Brilliant Friend," "The Returned," "Bad Sisters," "Chewing Gum," "Black Earth Rising," "Mrs. America," "GLOW," "Kevin Can Fuck Himself," "Big Little Lies," "Night Country," "Top of the Lake," "Godless," "Frontera Verde," "Ethos," "One Night," "The Power," "Girls5eva," "UnREAL," "Damages," "Insecure," "Unorthodox," "P-Valley," "Russian Doll," "Hacks," "Grace and Frankie," "Shining Girls," "Killing Eve," "Fleabag," "Why Women Kill," "Poker Face," "The Queen's Gambit," "Borgen," "Mare of Easttown," "Irma Vep," "Alias Grace," "Miss Sherlock," "Last Tango in Halifax," "The Fall," "The Bletchey Circle," "Servant," "We Are Lady Parts," "Made for Love," "Claws," "The Girlfriend Experience," "Dear White People," "Little Fires Everywhere," "Sharp Objects," "Lovecraft Country," “The Underground Railroad," "Under the Bridge," "Derry Girls" (<-a teen series, but I made an exception because everyone here told me it was worth it), “Station Eleven," "The Great," "Beef," "She's Gotta Have It," "Twenties," "Olive Kitteridge," "Enlightened," "Babylon Berlin," "Deadloch," "Vida," "Feel Good," "Gentleman Jack," "La Casa de las Flores" (<-never let it be said I don't enjoy millennial telenovelas).

Female fronted series I haven't finished:

HTGAWM, "Wentworth" (<-couldn't get into it).

Series I was/am kinda meh about:

"The Wilds" (<-"Yellowjackets" all the way), "Dead to Me," "Roar," "The Fosters," "Lost Girl," "Westworld" (<-post season 1), "The Haunting of Bly Manor" (not big on Flanagan's works), “Bridgerton," "Ratched," "Dickinson."

Series I haven't tried yet:

"The Diplomat," "Harlots," "Gilded Age," "The Bold Type" (<-surprisingly, it doesn't seem like my thing), "Workin' Moms," "Girlfriends Guide to Divorce," "Happy Valley," "Halt and Catch Fire," "West Wing," "Broadchurch," "The Split," "A Small Light," "Scandal," "For All Mankind," "Mindhunter," "Sense8," "1899," "Utopia," "Transparent," "The Morning Show," "Rain Dogs," The Mindy Project," "Vigil," "High Fidelity," "Only Murders in the Building," "Julia," "Pen15," "Weeds," "Girls."

[olderthannetfic]

When m/m writers say "women DNI / don't read" on a platform like here or AO3 that's majority female, what's the thinking behind this? Are they insecure in their masculinity and trying to preemptively block fujo cooties from getting on their fiction? Are they trying to meet people for RP or dating through engagement with their fics? That I can maybe understand. But if it's the former, there's a culture mismatch. "Women DNI" writers mostly aren't writing stuff that's popular on Space Battles, Sufficient Velocity, Royal Road or even ff.net, which gets more of the "malebrained" (sorry) game nerd stuff with sexless shonen-like characters levelling up or solving problems with "hard magic." Those spaces also have a concrit culture where you can be a little mean and mocking, and the "women DNIs" only want praise and clout. It always makes me think of Married with Children and Al Bundy's NO MA'AM (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood) club.

Anyway, it's extra odd when I see this kind of clout goblinry in a market context where most of the sales are to women. I've seen gay dudes (cis and trans) lightly threaten that a big conversation about what gets popular in paying m/m space was coming soon (spoiler: it never came). And it's always someone who doesn't have the kind of career they want despite doing lots of marketing. I think it's OK to vent, but the gay men who are doing numbers in m/m space don't threaten women's careers or disparage their own readership.

--

Are they insecure in their masculinity and trying to preemptively block fujo cooties from getting on their fiction?

Yes.

No, really. That's it.

Ask any trans man who's been on T for a few years and has supportive friends and family what he thinks about this dumb behavior vs. a scared trans boy who just figured it out in his own head and whose entire experience of living openly as a man is being rude to strangers on twitter.

The pro version is just professional jealousy.

If Jordan L. Hawk can come out and stay at the top of the heap (despite, sorry not sorry, a bit of a career slump lately due to Life), so can other trans dudes, and there are plenty of cis dudes who write in a BLy style and sell just fine to BL/slash fandom type readers.

Dudes who are secure don't need to pull this shit, and good marketers know not to insult their paying customers in public because it's bad for business.

TBH, when I find out a m/m author is a guy, I'll usually try one of his books. I don't think fujoshi culture is ~appropriation~, but i guess I do think it's nice to give a guy a shot. I have pretty universally been underwhelmed (in the Sturgeon's Law way, not the men can't write way). But I doubt I'm alone in this behavior. A dude who's not a whiny little bitch about having a chick audience can use this to his marketing advantage. Instead, a lot of losers want to shoot themselves in the foot.