ramonaistired

[ramonaistired]

basically the whole bible happens to me daily

[ramonaistired]

being an older sibling is like. you've never known a life without me. mom yelled at me and it taught her she never wanted to yell at you. I painted my room purple and grey and then you did too. we live in the same house but I haven't spoken to you in months. I don't know your favorite color. I saw it was going to rain so I picked you up from school on my way home so your books wouldn't get wet. i was so worried when you woke up sick when you were three. you don't remember being sick. mom and dad made their worst mistakes with me and I'm glad they didn't make them with you. I'm doing everything for the first time so you won't be in the dark. I don't know any of your friend's names anymore. I used to know them all. if something happens to mom and dad you won't have to worry because everything will fall to me. you don't like to be home alone but even if you don't see me just knowing I'm there makes you feel better. at least that's what mom told me. you still give me jars to open for you because you can't quite get them. I only see you during dinner. i'd never even think about missing one of your concerts. I stand at the counter when I eat and now you do, too. when offered a selection of books you picked the same one I did when i was your age. I'm terrified you compare yourself to me. I love you. I don't know if you like me. I want you to. mom says dinner's ready

[ramonaistired]

At least we didn’t have Sex

You'll kiss me

I'll kiss back

You'll try to kiss my neck, so I'll lean back

You won't take off your shirt

And I won't take off my skirt

We'll keep kissing sweetly

You won't try to take off my tights enthusiastically

I'll kiss your knuckles

You'll say, "You taste like sweet honeysuckle."

The day will end, and you won't call me

And I'll sit on my floor and clean

I'll listen to music, thinking about you

You'll think about the moon

We won't talk for another week

I'll turn weak

We finally talk and you tell me you miss me

I'll finally be happy and kiss you freely

We'll get on the bed

Kissing until our lips feel dead

We'll giggle and smoke

We'll split a coke

You won't try to take off my dress

You won't think about the mess underneath my dress

I won't think about what the greeks call, phallus

And I'll definitely call out your callous

You won't come by house

I'll hide like a house

You'll leave me messages

And I still won't know what the lesson is

Because you'll pretend to not know me in school

And to you I was cruel

You'll have my soul

And it will begin to grow cold

In the end of this

I would have given you everything

My mind, my soul, my body, every little thing

You won't call again

And all I could say

At least we didn't have sex

[ramonaistired]

I do not believe in God

I do not believe in God

Growing up I thought of him as someone who could save me

At five, praying for the pain to go away

He didn't answer to one

When at eight, praying to take my life away

He didn't listen

But made me slit my wrists anyway

At nine, I wished to like boys, not girls

He didn't make my feelings change

But made me live with the hate

At ten, I hoped my friend wouldn't kill himself

This was the only time I prayed that year

On a Tuesday

I left

And he died

And that day I hated him and me for leaving

At eleven, I wished to find love

He gave me a boy and my prayers had finally been answered

But two months in and I was trapped

He abused me to no end

I asked God to make it stop

He just made it sunny instead

At twelve, I had prayed for a better life

That year my dad and I got into a fight

And I wished for him to die

Not God this time

And God made me lose five friends

At thirteen, I prayed for a better Me

A Me who didn't cry often

A Me who ate

A Me who lived

And by the end of the year I made a revelation I could be skinnier

So, I cried when I ate

Lost a part of me

And felt differently

At fourteen, I prayed for a good school year

And yesterday, I saw my abuser

Got yelled at by my ex in class

I got straight A's

But the girl next to me got a 57%

But, she has a boyfriend and friends who read her poems and care

She believes in God and has pretty hair

So, who's the actual winner here

God, if you're listening, my faith is gone

And I'm going to stop leaving you messages

Because I am not your soldier

I am a child returning half her weight

I will not pray to a God who has favorites

I do not believe in God

Instead of him saving me, I will save myself

Because it is me

And not the person that doesn't respond

Or a person I cannot see

I do not believe in God

[ramonaistired]

Mindful hands

I'm scared of my hands

They break and crush things

Acting like they're a man's

I touch my skin with roughness

Not caring if it breaks

I write about people I do not wish to remember

It's like it has a mind of its own

Wanting to write about things I feel so deeply in my bones

Hands are scarred

From my right to my left

I am scared of my hands. They have a mind of its own

And I don't know where they belong

They push, crush, grab and punch

Slap, hold, and latch I can't seem to care

Because it's better that way

I cannot touch the love my life I'd rather hurt myself than her

So, I'm thankful for my scarred hands

Because maybe, I'd find a little control

And not touch her yet

I won't break her

No, not just yet

[ramonaistired]

The girl in black

Coffee and cigarettes

Is what the girl downstairs smells like

Her black hair

Green eyes

And nails painted black

She reminds me of solitude and how I have a free will

She wears a leather jacket

And I call her the girl in black

She is mysterious and wears all black

Though her green eyes shine bright

She walks in her dirty shoes

Shoes that she has worn since she was born

That was all her mom gave her

Besides the cigarette in her mouth

I think this girl is cool

Because when I come up to her

She talks about feminism and punk rock music

She tells me about the rapist she killed last Tuesday

Then says, “what is he going to say? No?”

And laughs

I look up to the girl in black

She looks like revolution

She smokes but doesn’t care

The earth is dying anyway

She screams at politics and kisses girls

Spreading their legs and running her hands through their curls

Oh how I wish to be the girl in black

Because she is free willed

And she is who she wants to be

She dresses in black

And doesn’t hold back

Black hair

Nails painted black

Bright green eyes

Lesbian

Worn shoes

And cigarette ash

The girl in black

[ramonaistired]

The boots

One, two, five, six

The men are coming

To knock down your doors and kill your daughters

Five, six, one, eight

You can hear the boots

They are coming

Ten, seven, six

The car is stopping

Yell, run, hide

The man is coming

One, five, nine

Pigs are alive

And they want to kill

Kill you and your baby

Seven, eight, five

The boots

They’re getting louder

The men

The want to kill you and alive your unborn

Ten, four, three

The cars are stopping

What will you do?

When there is no god to pray to

Five, nine, four

The men

They want you

For your sex and for your organs

Six, two, five

The cars are stopping

The men are getting louder

The boots are coming

Four, eight, seven

Run little girl run

For your mothers sake

For your grandmothers sake

For your ancestors sake

Nine, four, ten

The men are stopping

The voices getting louder

The boots are stomping

Eleven, five, four

Run and do what you can

Do what you can until you can’t no more

Six, four, eight

The boots

They’re louder

And they’re coming for you

Ten, eleven, four

They are coming

The white cars and the white men

They want you

Even the birds know it

Seven, eight, nine

Run until your knees bend backwards

They will not stop until they kill you

You are not safe child

Run until it’s clear

Five, four, three

It’s all going backwards

The trees are flowing left

And the fires are growing

Dads cannot protect their teenage daughters

Four, three, two

History knows our mistakes

But education is getting deleted and destroyed

So watch and be aware

Six, five, four

They are coming

They are near

They are soon to be here

Ten, nine, eight

Hide your bodies, your rights, your long hair

Everything isn’t truly free after all

Seven, six, five

They are watching us

Beware of the slut

The witches they couldn’t burn

No god to save us

Nine, eight, seven

It’s all backwards

Who will save you now

The convicted felon turned hero

They are coming

Right outside your door

Five, four, three

The door

The door

The door

Nine, eight, seven

They will destroy what comes in our way

We are not safe

Pray now or forever hold your peace

The men they are—

Three, two, one

The boots are here

[ramonaistired]

So, as a poet and a marauders fan.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL IM MAKING POEMS ABOUT THE MARAUDERS

Can you guess who this poem is about????

(ALL POEMS WILL BE POSTED ON MY WATTPAD BOOK)

-

In my head I'm still young

I'm still sitting with everyone

I can't remember the last time mom was happy

Or when my brother spoke to me

I count the stars one by one

Hoping to connect with you somehow

The sun comes up

And that's when I know you're awake

The moon comes down

And I know the one person I love is awake

The cold floor is pressed against me

God how could you betray me

I'm a fucking dog begging for a piece of meat

Please bring him back to me

Let me see him before I die

My flesh going towards madness

I remember waking in a happy home

Where my brother was there

My stars and my moon

Then I woke up and prayed to the stars

Please take me with him

I want to look into his eyes one last time I want to see him angry when he finds out i escaped

Just please let me fucking see him

The traitor

You did this to me

I cannot get my revenge

I have to sit and stare at the moon

Talking to it like it was you

I pretended I was splitting a chocolate between you and I

I am too young to die I want to die in his arms

I want to feel like I'm in love again

He promised me memories

Yet I am still here locked in my cage

Mom, am I still young?

Dad, do you hate what I've done?

Brother, please don't hate me

Please say you'll forgive me

I'm begging ever so pathetically like doggy on his knees

Please forgive me

I'll forgive you

I promise to never burn your letters again

Just let me see my brother god dammit

I want you back

I want to come home

I never say please

But to my moon, stars and sun

Please come back

It wasn't me

-

LEAVE ANSWERS IN COMMENTS!!!!

[ramonaistired]

Vampire

My lips are filled with blood

And I want to kiss you

The kiss is a tragedy I love

I want to feel your virgin lips on mine

The lips I crave are pure

But you don’t want to kiss me

Because I am dirty

I lick my lips trying to soak the blood up

But you don’t care

I’m trying to be someone I’m not

I’m trying to be clean

But you don’t care you want clean lips

I continue to wipe away the blood I once loved

You push me away and say I don’t like your past

Please just one kiss, one kiss

You shake your head and scream when I get close

I walk away looking in the mirror asking why I was born with blood

I wanted to be pure

Pure, sweet, angelic, and full of viridity

I prayed to the gods above, asking to be pure like you

I had to paint my lips with holy water to kiss you

You told me you wanted to runaway

Why love? Why?

You pointed at me and my bloody body

I screamed and begged at your feet to not leave me

It is not my fault I am bloody

They made me like this

My lips covered in curses I did not wish to have

My hands covered in blood that was not mine

I scream at you please don’t leave me like the dog I am

You walk away and tell me to wash up

Please stay

Stay with me, I’ll bathe in sunlight and holy water to be with you love

That wasn’t enough

I smear blood onto my thighs

You yell at me to clean myself up

Can you clean me up?

Can you?

I don’t know how

Nobody had ever taught me how to be pure and sweet

I was only taught how to crave blood

I was only taught how to be weapon

Please Angel, let me be

You shout and walk away

The moment you leave me

I find a new fresh blood patch on my heart

Why couldn’t I be pure like you?

I am tired of being solivagant

You were my hit of kalopsia

I could only kiss you if I dipped my hands and lips in holy water

And yet you still called me disgusting

My love, my angel

You are too sweet for me

- a poem made by me.

But why is this Jegulus vampire au coded.

[ramonaistired]

hey chat, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to stop posting fanfics, if I do end up posting some they will be on my ao3.

Instead I’ll be using this account for poems, films, books, activism and such.

If you do want more of me somehow, I’m using my side blog as my main! @secretsideofbree

Go follow that one if you really like me? Which is very unlikely

But sorry about everything and I hope you have a wonderful day

[ramonaistired]

While you're boopin people, give Arab.org a daily click.

[ramonaistired]

pls

Radom

Every person who reblogs this

will get

a

Random question in their

ask box

[ramonaistired]

Can’t risk it

[ramonaistired]

My mom.

Raise your wands,

For Dame Maggie Smith, our beloved Professor McGonagall.

May she rest in peace

[ramonaistired]

I love these recs so much omg <333 I will read these!

SLYTHERIN // fic recommendations

note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works

REGULUS BLACK

le lendemain matin

the salt and the sea

forever

the better of two bad options

a pen

the door

the black heir

distraction

THEODORE NOTT

love is sour grapes

by netws & nott

something stronger

like snow on the beach

the only heaven i'll be sent to (is when i'm alone with you)

TOM RIDDLE

desiderium

love again

from the glue

salted caramel, metal, strawberries, vanilla, and ink

midmorning

effects of amortentia

DRACO MALFOY

our little secret

honeydukes

firsts

how could i ever forget?

makeup

draco malfoy with shy!male!reader headcanons

cherry juice

MATTHEO RIDDLE

the cat

puppy eyes

the game

rainy nights m.r

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

like nobody else

[ramonaistired]

September is Bisexuality Visibility Month. Please be on the lookout for bisexual people when crossing the street, as we can go both ways.

[ramonaistired]

uh oh besties we are oversexualizing ourself because it feels better to be used than to be ignored