#it's a very unfortunate misunderstanding that almost ends in a kid losing their face to a very angry wolf monster! whoops!

[timey-fandom-stuff]

well, guess who lost control of my hands again and was compelled to scribble down designs for ANOTHER Deltarune AU? yeah. me. it doesn't really have a proper name yet so I've just been calling it Changeling AU for now, I'll figure that out later.

these would be the cast's dark world designs; they parallel early Deltarune concepts in which the lightners would turn into monsters in the dark world-- with a few medieval fantasy fae-flavored twists this time around. mortals become a variety of magical beasts in the fae's dark realm, with only 'Kris' strangely unaffected... aside from the hue shift and conspicuously pointed ears, that is.

the main 'Kris' of this AU isn't the only human in town. instead, they're ironically the only one in town who ISN'T human, though not even they know it yet. in reality they're a Changeling, a fae creature that was left as a 'gift' to replace a taken human child. they can do things, strange things. animals come to them in the night, and the cool touch of iron burns their skin. they're afraid of what they see in the mirror; human eyes don't gleam in the dark, and their teeth shouldn't be so sharp. so they hide their features, and they ignore the whispers of the townsfolk, and they keep their head down.

they made a mistake, a terrible one... and they need to set it right.

meanwhile, the human they replaced is still out there somewhere in the fae world, twisted by its curse into a cornered, desperate beast seeking any escape from the realm that has held them prisoner all their life. it's said that when the full moon casts deep shadows over the woods, you can still hear their anguished howls in the dark begging for the name that once was theirs. they can never leave the dark world without it. they'd do anything to get it back.

all they've ever really wanted was to find their way home.

[persicipen]

₊ ˙ ⊹ . 𝓒𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒕. TAMSY CAINES ₊ ˙ ⊹ .

ৎ୭ — · · 1.9k ノ gn reader — title is quite literally the plot. tamsy has weird feelings towards you. likewise. reader described by him as awkward. a very subtle case of mutual pining. ropes and bruises are involved, but it’s completely sfw. just a casual day with other characters mentioned. spoiler-free — there are some hints tho. before relationship. maybe a pinch of clueless flirting, but only if you squint lol

There are many unexpected mornings at the Cleaners’ HQ. A fact that no one dares to undermine, a reality that greets them all with every new day.

If not a sudden attack of the trash beasts, then maybe Delmon hitting his toe against the bed and screaming at the top of his lungs, or Enjin coming back from the city after a frivolous night and stumbling into every obstacle because he’s certain that another love of his life just decided to end their relationship (how long has it been this time? Barely a month?), or Follo and Gris hitting the clogged pipes with every tool they have in the bag because someone messed up the hydraulics and there’s already a queue of people wanting to use the bathroom.

Yes, there are many unexpected mornings at the Cleaners’ HQ. Tamsy is well aware of the antics and misunderstandings happening between the members, but at least he’s glad that usually no one bothers anyone until they leave their rooms — pitiful is what awaits after one decides to venture out on the corridor and is not ready for the challenge.

But it’s his day off work, so he can enjoy the solitude of the four walls in peace.

Except this time he hears an impatient banging at his door, directly. Nothing of great strength, so that at least confirms it’s no one with the extreme personality (like Delmon) who otherwise would soil his lovely start of the day.

Well, it’s you.

“Good mornin—”

“Hi Tamsy!” You interrupt his slow greeting, followed by a questioning raise of his eyebrows. But you’re quick, too quick, and continue immediately, almost putting your hands straight into his face. “Please, please, you gotta help me!”

“Calm down, first. What happened?”

“See?!”

He sees, clearly. One of your arms, from wrist to shoulder, is wrapped up in a total mess — a good quality rope or a net of some kind, whatever — and your skin already lost a fraction of its colour. Looks painful, that’s for sure. And, unfortunately, complicated. There’s barely anything he can deduct in just a few seconds from seeing you in front of his room to having to hold your elbow so you stop wriggling your shoulder, so he may examine the situation further.

“Why didn’t you just cut it off?”

“Because I can’t! I just can’t! Semiu said it’s something expensive that the boss had bought a few years ago, but the kids started playing with it while cleaning the main hall and then they bumped into me, and then— well, nevermind! Can you please get it off me before I lose my arm and Semiu comes for my throat next?”

There goes his peaceful morning.

He takes a deep breath, ignoring that first wave of annoyance after being disrupted so early when it’s his day off, and lets go of you so he can retrieve some tools from the drawer. Probably a needle or a pin, anything of that sort, will have a use in that case.

“Come in. Untangling you shouldn’t be hard, but it might take a while…”

“Aren’t you well-oriented with the ropes and stuff like that? Isn’t your vital instrument a distaff?”

“Heh, I guess I am well-oriented with the ropes and stuff.”

You watch him curiously, sniffling and fidgeting all over the place with your nails scrambling the coarse threads in hopes that maybe you will get out of them by yourself.

After a moment, Tamsy drags you across the room, nudging you to sit on the bed.

“Yeah, this will take a while.” He mumbles out, eyes already focused on the task. “But you won’t lose your arm.” He chuckles at that. Mayhaps a subtle joke will take your attention away from the bubbling anxiety.

“What about my neck?”

“Working on it. At worst, we’ll both lose our heads.”

You hum under your nose, entertained and not so stressed anymore, and lean to look at his hands. Working carefully on the rope, unwrapping one by one, all this while trying not to poke the pointy end of the pin through your skin. To be honest, it looks more like you’re a bird caught in a net left on the wind for at least a year, but if he considers how chaotic Guita and other teenagers can be, let alone running around together, then maybe it’s not that impossible to cause such a disaster in the first place.

The moment you feel Tamsy’s fingers pull out of the loops and brush against your skin where the short sleeve doesn’t reach, you lower your head as if it’s suddenly forbidden. You get the feeling, again. The one you dislike because it makes you act like that, like you cannot just enjoy being casually acquainted with him.

This is not love. No. Love doesn’t exist for people like you. Not on the Ground, not at all. But the idea of it lingering at the edge of your consciousness doesn’t leave you alone and brings shivers down your spine every time he so much as glances at you.

This is the worst.

“I’ve never noticed that you’re missing a part of your little finger. It’s not causing you any problems?” You pick up the most random topic, your stupid brain just letting anything get on your tongue.

Tamsy doesn’t even flinch when you mention it.

“I forget about it all the time.” He admits in a heartbeat.

“Oh. Well, good that it’s nothing serious then. Sorry…”

“It’s okay.” He sighs.

Really, it’s hard to be angry at you, especially that this isn’t your fault you got into whatever happened in the main hall, but he doesn’t want you sitting on his bed, in his room, acting so awkward. It would be annoying if it was only him treated this way — could suggest you’re developing certain feelings for him, regardless if positive of negative — but you’ve always been weird when interacting with others, unable to get the clue even after working with them many times and even befriending some of them.

Sure, you’re all over the place, but you’re not the only one among the Cleaners. However, Tamsy considers you a complication and a distraction. Only you. It’s entirely on him that he’s starting to like you, against his own rules. But then again, do you even notice that, or are you just enjoying the quiet company? He wants to make sure he isn’t wrong, because he could use an ally, yet… You don’t seem to think of him that way. It’s too risky to even consider sharing the truth with you.

“Ouch!” There’s a sudden rush of pain down your shoulder that gets you to squeak and jolt in place. Distressed once again, you look at your limb and then at Tamsy, and back at your limb.

“Don’t worry. The circulation is back, but you’ll feel sore and ticklish.” The lukewarm fingertips trail up to your elbow, just to make sure everything’s back to normal, and he stares at your expression for a moment with an absent gaze. “I’m almost done, so try not to move too much for one more minute, okay?”

You nod, a bobblehead toy, hot in the face, unable to hold the eye contact anymore. Instead, you fixate on his palms (yes, again, how obvious), on how delicately he holds your wrist while he takes care of the last tangles. It’s just too funny, the sensation of a pulse returning to your arm; you giggle and shiver, but try your best to remain calm despite the numb tingling rushing down your nerves.

Along with the last loosened loop, Tamsy pinches at your skin on purpose until you laugh and shy away from his grip. That one time you look back at him, you get the feeling again, the same he was wondering about earlier. What a fool you are.

“And everything’s alright again.” He announces, that pretty face of his softening, like he’s comforting you after some traumatic experience and not just a small predicament. Although you were, in fact, seriously scared for a moment there. Well, if it came to that, you would just cut off the ropes in the last resort, much to Semiu’s displeasure.

“You sure?” Still doubtful, you examine your limb, worried about the splotches of bruises and angrily deep imprints waved into the soft flesh.

“Just be careful. It looks… hmm, that’s expected given how tight this net was digging in.” He cannot say what’s actually on his mind. The wince doesn’t escape you, and Tamsy immediately regrets that he let his voice falter. The next second, he covers his mouth and scratches his jawline instead, trying to keep the smile off his face, but failing miserably at it.

“I don’t get it. Why are you smiling?” You pout at him, attempting to sound offended by his reaction. “It hurts and looks awful.”

“I’m sorry. I really hope the pain goes away soon. It’s such an absurd way of starting the day. It’s funny.”

No, Tamsy isn’t cruel, it’s just… he really finds it amusing. He will never say it out loud that his face got warmer after having the chance to look at your arm, unable to not imagine that this is exactly how you would end up if caught in the threads of his vital instrument.

Give him a break, damn.

With defeat, he has to admit in his thoughts that it looks pretty on you. He likes the image of it. Not the fact that it’s painful for you — or precisely because of that, but he wishes not to ponder on that possibility — but it was probably inevitable in this case.

Maybe he’s becoming a sadist? No, no, not at all. If anything, he would prefer you unharmed and untouched. No, what is he even thinking about now? He should know better than this.

“Try not to get caught in more nets.” He gets up from the place beside you and puts the pin away. “I will help you take it back to Semiu and the boss. But I wouldn’t recommend using your hand until the marks disappear.”

“Thanks…”

“Are you sure you can work, though? Maybe it would be better if you take the day off as well?”

“No, I’ll be okay. There are things to be done, so I’ll just focus on something easy until that numbness goes away.”

Tamsy isn’t pleased with that answer, but shrugs that off. Instead, he walks back to you to grab the neatly untangled net (it’s quite heavy, which wasn’t so noticeable when it was still wrapped around your entire arm) and guide you back to the exit.

There’s a limit to how much time you can spend alone with him in his room, and this one comes to an end. A pity.

“You’re a lifesaver.” You let out a tired sigh, the stress that weighed you down finally dissipating.

“No problem. I’m glad I could help you out.”

It would be such a waste to give up that opportunity, he thinks to himself, almost caving in to pull you close enough for a brief hug; he eventually gives up on that idea, biting his tongue and only putting a palm flat against your back. A friendly gesture to gently push you forward, like he often does with other members, whilst he’s busy locking his door behind you two and following your steps.

You’ve been nothing but trouble, occupying his mind when he should have a clarity; that memory of ropes digging into your skin engraved just as deeply in his brain.

[egcdeath]

wrong place, wrong time

summary: a drunken mishap leads you to reconcile with someone from your past. (based off this prompt)

pairing: andy barber x reader 

word count: 2.1k

author’s note: this fic has been sitting in my drafts, half finished, for like months. i hope you enjoy!

warnings: extremely brief mention of cheating

“I just think things would be better if we… you know, saw other people,” Oliver explained through the phone. 

You sighed dejectedly into the microphone, before deciding to hang up, and aggressively tossing your phone onto the leather seat next to you. You’d already had a shit day at work, and you really didn’t think that you could handle all of this today. Especially considering that you were almost certain that there was the hint of a feminine giggle in the background of that call.

You’d been expecting this for a while, your relationship with Oliver had been falling apart- slowly but surely- for a few months now, and he was ‘working late’ way too many nights for you not to be the slightest bit suspicious. But it still hurt, you were now single, and you’d essentially wasted a precious year of your life with a douchebag who ended up leaving you anyway.

You pressed your foot on the gas, and began your drive back home, before telling yourself fuck it, and deciding to turn onto a side road so you could head to your local pub. 

-----

Several drinks later, you were extremely drunk. From that point on, everything was a bit of a blur.

You stumbled out of the bar (against your own will? You vaguely remember someone telling you that you needed to leave), sat in the back of an Uber (how much did you tell them? Probably too much), arrived at your home (but why weren’t your keys working?).

Things were a bit less blurry here. You can remember yourself repeatedly stabbing your keys into the door, and when that didn’t seem to work, deciding to hoist yourself over your fence, and get in through the back.

During this whole ordeal, you tripped over a seat on the patio, losing a shoe in doing so, and nearly fell into a pool, since when did my house have a pool? You ignored that thought, then opened the back door, getting in with no resistance. 

You hobbled inside, closed the door behind you, then stumbled up the stairs, before finally finding your (?) bedroom. You flopped down in bed before realizing that you really needed to pee, and as you went to go find your bathroom, everything seemed to go black. 

----

You woke up extremely disoriented in a vaguely familiar bathtub. It faintly smelled of pine, and possibly a hint of vanilla. The tub had a modern and sleek look, yet appeared to be as sterile as a hospital room. This was absolutely not your home. But it possibly belonged to someone you knew. The tiles lining the wall did seem to ring a bell somewhere deep in the foggy abyss of your hungover brain. 

As you sat up, you groaned due to the consistent pulsing in your head. This had to be one of the worst hangovers you’d had in a while, and you were lucky that you didn’t lean over and empty the contents of your stomach right that instant.

“Stupid fucking Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “You’re lucky all of your organs are still intact.” After stating this, you glanced down at your torso just to make sure. But a larger question still remained, where were you? Did you hook up with someone? Did you just randomly break into someone���s home? That’s a little ridiculous. Who would do something like that?

Apparently, drunk you would. In the process of exiting the tub, you concluded that you absolutely were in someone elses' gargantuan of a home, and that that person was undoubtedly down the hall, taking a phone call. Also, you were definitely missing a shoe.

You glared at yourself in the mirror, smeared makeup on your face, hair that looked so frizzy that you may as well have been struck by lightning, and of course the overwhelming scent of dry liquor that seemed to be seeping out of your skin. You turned on the sink and splashed your face, trying to completely wake up, and to partially figure out if this was real life, or just a horrible dream. 

“Fuck!” you exclaimed out loud to yourself. How would you even get out of this situation alive? Perhaps you could find a window to jump out of. No, too dangerous. Hide in the bathroom until the man leaves? Well, everyone has to go to the bathroom at some point. Leave without being spotted? Mhm, very likely. Go talk to the homeowner? It doesn’t seem like you have any other option right now. You internally screamed at yourself for being so reckless, especially having gone through all of this drama for a guy who didn’t deserve one ounce of your attention.

You slipped off your remaining shoe, then slowly made your way out of the bathroom, peeking behind the doorway to see if the coast was clear, and trying to plan your explanation in the process. As you peered around, searching for the quickest and easiest exit, you realized just how familiar the home was. But what really did it for you was a painting on the wall. 

This was Andy Barber’s home. The same man you hooked up with a few times before ghosting. You sighed exasperatedly at your own poor decision making for what felt like the millionth time that morning.

You had to get the hell out of here. Fast. Lost shoe be damned.

You somewhat remembered the floor plan, so managing to get out unnoticed began to seem just a tad bit more possible. You began to jog it down the hall, trying not to be too heavy footed as you went, in the event that Andy was standing in the eyeline of one of the open doors. Unfortunately for you, in the midst of your beeline down the hall, you were spotted. 

“What the..? You know what Lynn, I’ll call you back in a bit.”

“I can explain! Don’t like… kill me or something. I promise you that this is just a big misunderstanding,” you were speaking without really processing anything that you were saying. You turned to face the man, and couldn’t help but to smirk a bit at the sight of him. You forgot just how attractive he was, with a full beard, fluffy hair, and soft blue eyes that seemed to be boring straight into your soul from across the room. Not to mention his sculpted body, which you swore you could make out beneath his sweatpants, and worn white shirt. Really, Y/N? First you ghost a man, break into his home a year later, and now you’re objectifying him? 

You moved towards the door and began to speak again, your words flowing out at a million miles per minute, “Uhm, so long story short, I basically got really drunk last night, and I thought your house was mine, so I kinda broke in. But I’ll be seeing myself out now,” You gave a curt smile, and looked towards the stairs. “Before I go, any chance that you’ve seen my left shoe somewhere around here?”

It was clear that Andy was very confused, but as you read his face, you could see that he was far more intrigued than angry. “Hey, not so fast.” He approached you quickly, his eyebrows lifting in surprise, and his mouth gaping open slightly. “No fuckin’ way. Y/N?”

You scratched the back of your head awkwardly and nodded, “yeah.” 

“You’re not getting off the hook that easily. Lucky for you, I was about to make breakfast, aaaand I’m not totally opposed to being joined,” he gave you a genuine smile, and a playful little shrug. 

“That’s fine with me but- this sounds kinda strange- can I use your shower first?”

“Go right ahead. Mi casa su casa, right? I mean, kinda sounds like that’s what you were thinking last night,” Andy peered at you inquisitively at this, “I’m just kidding. Feel free to use anything you need.”

You couldn’t even blame Andy for his passive aggression, but that didn’t stop you from sulking the whole way back into the bathroom.

----

“I forgot how good your water pressure is,” you announced while coming down the stairs, clad in a college hoodie that you’d found in the depths of Andy’s closet, and shorts that were just a tad too large for you.

“Thanks, I guess?” Andy flipped a pancake, then turned to get a good look at you. 

“You’re welcome. It smells so good down here,” you slipped into a barstool at his granite island, and observed him while he cooked, “so... you still live here alone?” You asked while you were passed a mug of coffee.

“Well, yeah. I mean that’s kind of what happens after your wife and son die.”

“Uhm.. sorry. For bringing that up again,” you glanced down awkwardly at your dark drink. 

“It’s okay, they’ve been gone for a while,” he sat down at his seat, setting down a plate of food for you and himself. “What’ve you been up to? Apart from breaking and entering, of course.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” you began, cutting into a syrup-soaked pancake. “You’re no saint either. I can’t think of anyone in their right mind who would gladly break bread with someone who drunkenly broke into their home.”

“That’s fair,” Andy stated, almost dismissively. “But it's not like we’re total strangers. We have history.”

You scoffed at this, “like hell we do,” you muttered. “Anyway, things with me have been pretty boring. Same job. I had a boyfriend, but he just dumped me like, 12 hour ago. I’m pretty sure that he’s been cheating on me for like, the past four months.”

“That sucks,” Andy commented, shoveling a piece of pancake into his mouth. 

“Yeah, it does. How about you?”

“You know, same old. Still an ADA, still getting messages from random people about that trial, and of course, still perpetually lonely.”

“By no means do I mean to impede, but maybe you’d be a little less lonely if you let people in,” you suggested, looking up from your food to Andy, whose face gave away the offense he was feeling, “I said maybe.”

“What do you mean?” He questioned, brows furrowing.

“Come on, Andrew. You know exactly what I mean. Like with us, I thought everything was going perfectly well, until I was half asleep and you were telling me that you weren’t ready to commit. Literally moments after you were balls-deep in me.”

“Don’t call me that, Y/N,” Andy squinted at you in agitation. “Is that why you stopped picking up my calls?”

“What do you think?”

He sighed softly, “If it’s any consolation, I’ve been trying to do better. I talk to a… counselor… every now and then. Everything’s just been different ever since they passed, you know? It’s hard to form connections after your most intimate ones disappear in the blink of an eye.”

You frowned a bit at the man, and set down your fork. “I get it. I’m sorry.”

“Do you, though? Get it?”

“Not really. I was just trying to be supportive,” you turned a bit in your seat to get a better view of Andy. “I just wonder if we had this conversation a year ago if you and I would be in a better position now. I really liked you a lot.”

Andy was silent for a moment, and observed you pensively. “Let’s try again, then. It seems like you and I both are ready for something new.”

“Oh Andy,” you rubbed the back of your neck anxiously. “I just got out of a relationship less than a day ago.”

“Then we can take this, whatever it might end up being, slow. It would be nice to have a friend around who doesn’t just want to talk about work, and tell me that they’re sorry for my loss.”

You nodded, “I’ll probably need a shoulder to cry on at some point sooner than later.”

“So... friends?”

“Friends,” you agreed with a smile and a lift of your shoulders. 

Part of you hoped that maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something great.

[liloelsagranger]

Chapter 8: That was close! - Viridian Love Story #rocketshipping

Hello my friends, here’s a new chapter...

Chapter 8: That was close!

When dawn broke, the ship entered the port. Jessie, James and Meowth felt nervous, knowing that they would soon break into monitored area. They could only guess at the consequences for this breach of taboo, but Giovanni would certainly give them the riot if their double deceit came to light.

“You can do this, Team Rocket!” Misty tried to encourage her long-time opponents, even if the words of support were used for her own profit. “Do you already have an idea on how you’re going to do it?” Brock intervened. He was curious about Team Rocket’ plan, since they had been fooling the kids with their distinctive costumes for years. Jessie and James gave each other a meaningful look. When it came to costumes and metamorphosis, nobody could hold a candle to them. A little smile flitted across James’ face, because Jessie hadn’t given him that intense look for a long time.

“Don’t worry about that! Here’s what we’ve been thinking about: As cleaners we get access to all rooms and halls, including the room where the files of all interviewed people are archived. As soon as we have the bunch of keys in our hands, we will pretend to do our job. A little wiping, a little dusting, and no one will be suspicious anymore” Meowth explained. His friends nodded in agreement.

“Be careful not to attract attention! This could end badly, for you, but also for me, because maybe we are already close to the solution” Misty expressed her concerns.

“Let the professionals do the work! We will hand you the files in no time, trust us!” James winked at the young woman.

The sirens were already sounding. The day had dawned, and the grunts gathered for roll call in the nearby main square of the island. Now Team Rocket had to hurry. Calculations showed that they had less than seven minutes to skilfully bypass the cameras and alarms without falling into the numerous surveillance traps. To do this, they had to get to the back entrance as quickly as possible, wait until someone accidentally opened the door for a short smoke break, then sneak into the main building and find the staff changing room where they would borrow their cleaning uniforms.

No sooner said than done. Jessie, James and Meowth were way ahead in terms of sneaking up on people. It didn’t take them long to avoid all the traps and, thanks to an inattentive employee, they were able to infiltrate the building unnoticed.

“Here, put this on, James!” Jessie handed him a pair of turquoise dungarees, a mop and a bucket. Fully masked and ready to put their plan into action, they grabbed the bunch of keys hanging unattended on the door frame and worked their way through all the rooms. Nobody seemed to be suspicious. Of course, they were sometimes given somewhat irritated looks and someone would claim to have recognized them, but with the right excuse and a big smile they could dismiss any suspicion of fraud.

So far so good. Their idea with the break-in seemed to bear fruit. They could snoop undisturbed in every room, open closets and drawers to search for the documents about Misty’s parents. Unfortunately, they didn’t find what they were looking for right away and the next danger was looming.

“Jessie! James! Let’s get out of here! Butch and Cassidy just turned the corner. They’ll expose us. Don’t lose any time!” Meowth was visibly excited. They had already spent too much time in this oversized library without finding what they were looking for. The files had to be hidden in another place and any further moment could cost them their heads. Jessie and James rummaged through all the files, threw piles of paper on the floor, searched in drawers for documents about the extraordinary interrogation of civilians. “Just give us a little more time! I think we’re in the right place. I recognize names of families from the Kanto region, they must include Misty’s parents. Stop Butch and Cassidy! Distract them, Meowth!”

Team Rocket worked in lightning speed. They were on the verge of a breakthrough, they were sure of it. There weren’t many stacks left and underneath them they would find answers to the disappearance of the Williams family. “James, I think I found something!” Jessie held up a red envelope marked top priority.

“What are you looking for?” Butch snarled at the cat. “The service personnel has no business being near the library. Get out of here or we’ll call the guards!” Meowth talked his head off, the Grunts were not allowed to discover his friends under any circumstances. “Oh, I just wanted to sort through the papers. Somebody made a real mess of things” Meowth stuttered. Butch pushed him aside and entered the library. “It’s all over”, the cat thought and reckoned the worst, but the room was empty.

Jessie and James just managed to hide in the broom closet. It was terribly cramped, they cowered body to body in a dark corner. Jessie could feel James’ breath on her skin. Just thinking that his lips were very close to hers made her feel a tingling deep inside. They tried not to make a sound, listened intently to whether the steps were moving away. “Sorry, Jess, it’s so tight in here. I almost crush you” James whispered. She had to grin. Knowing him so close, felt familiar and right. Their lips could touch at any moment and maybe that was what Jessie longed for. After all the hardships and misunderstandings, she was ready to forgive James one more time. After all, she hadn’t always been an angel and even now, at the greatest risk, James protected her.

As soon as the voices became quieter, until falling silent completely, Jessie and James squeezed themselves out of the lumber room. Meowth gave them a challenging look. “You’re both turkey red!” He cocked an eyebrow. “Got the document?” They both nodded.

They were able to disappear from the building unnoticed, even though James almost triggered the alarm because he tripped over a wire. “Here’s the file, Misty! Trust me, it wasn’t fun.” Jessie exhaled theatrically. Misty already snatched the document from her and leafed through the notes for hints about her parents. “It says they were already arrested in 1998. That was shortly after the beginning of our first adventure, Ash. If I only hadn’t followed you because of a stupid bike! I could be with them right now. What else does it say: they are now located on Skull Island. Jessie, James does this ring a bell? Do you know where that island is?”

Team Rocket swallowed hard. “Skull Island is never a good sign. There are the, let’s call them normal prisoners, who are simply sent to jail and locked up in a cell. They are provided with the most necessary things, with water and food. They are pardoned at the end and released as soon as they are no longer a danger to Team Rocket and any information about Mew has been extracted from them. But there are people who receive ‘the wash’ after the interview and your parents are marked as such. We’re sorry…”

[rheawritessometimes]

Ooh matchups!! I am here lol 👀

May I get a romantic matchup w one of the adult male characters?

Personality:

I come off as very friendly and sociable bc I'm too socially awkward to gracefully turn down a chat lmao. Don't get me wrong I do like talking with people but bc I'm too anxious to interrupt people when I have my own thoughts I often end up listening to the other person go on and on and it feels like they're just talking at me :/ I would very much appreciate someone who realizes this and actually pauses to ask for my opinion to make me feel included in the conversation

On the other hand, if the other person is willing to listen, I will ramble for hours about my own interests (and also go on like five tangents before I inevitably lose my original point lmao). I'm a biologist so point out any living thing to me and I'd probably have several fun facts ready to share

I almost always have a smile on my face when I'm out in public or anywhere I'd see another person. I just really don't want to come across as rude so I smile at everybody lol

This unfortunately has the side effect of making me hide my negative feelings from my friends. It's not that I'm actively trying to — if they caught me in the moment I'd at least be honest about my feelings — but I tend to push all the negativity to the back of my mind whenever I'm out with friends and only really address it when I'm alone at night. I also have a hard time showing any sort of weakness to anyone, despite my philosophy of "always talk to your friends about your problems." It's just that I'm supposed to be the one who has it together, so I feel like I have no one to go to when I need help. I'm trying to change this habit but it's been difficult lol

Likes/Dislikes:

Communication is so important to me. As someone who's very nonconfrontational I try to do all I can to avoid an argument. And honestly, being honest with each other will solve like 99% of the misunderstandings that people regularly have anyway

I love pretty much all creatures (tho my favorites are cats and also dragons even though they're not real) prob bc as a biologist, I have an appreciation for all living things and the roles they play in the world. I'm the type of person to trap the spider and bring it outside. These little critters are just trying to live like the rest of us!!

As for dislikes, I'm not a fan of jealousy in a partner. I guess some people find it hot when your s/o gets possessive of you but I'd rather just trust my partner and have them trust me? And when you do feel jealous like,, talk to your partner about what's making you uncomfortable?? Idk maybe it's just me lol

Hobbies:

I love drawing, writing, and piano!

I also love learning new things. Idk if it's really a hobby but I do enjoy adding to my collection of random trivia

Extras:

My love language is quality time and physical touch

I tend not to pay attention to my day to day life so I end up forgetting a lot of details about what happened the past few days. If someone brings it up I'd be like oh yeah that happened!! But if they were to ask me what I did last week I'd draw a blank lmao

I'm pretty sure all the tall boys in Genshin are a good head taller than me so do w that what you will lol

I absolutely make kissy faces and baby talk at cats and dogs

I tend to be pretty awkward with kids bc I don't know how to communicate with them. I can't even talk to adults who can articulate their thoughts you think I'm gonna understand children??

Dskgjsjd okay this was,, very long I'm sorry ;; but I hope it gave you a lot to work with haha!! Thank you in advance :D

I match you with...

Diluc!

Diluc is the type to regularly ask for your input and opinions when talking with you. He’s very aware of the fact that if it’s just him talking, it’s not a conversation. Even with other people, if he feels like you’ve been ignored he’ll divert the conversation to you as smoothly as possible.

Listening to you is a way to get to know you better, he’s keen to store details about your interests in his mind. Will he write them down in a hidden journal to make sure he doesn’t forget the most important parts? Maybe.

If you’re just looking to ramble about your interests to someone, he’s happy to listen to you talk while he’s doing paperwork and similar activities. His full attention may not be on you but he retains some of the details and will perk up and comment on anything that he finds particularly interesting.

The juxtaposition between smiling you and broody Diluc as you walk down the street together is *chef’s kiss*. It’s not that he’s necessarily unhappy, it’s just kind of become his neutral look over time.

I’m gonna be honest, it takes this man a while to figure out that you tend to hide your feelings. But! Once he does figure it out he regularly asks you how you feel. He just wants to check up on you and if he can help you with something that’s bothering you, he absolutely will. He doesn’t think you should rely on each other, but you should absolutely support each other.

Diluc is a very honest man, but sometimes he can be a bit blunt in expressing himself. He doesn’t mean to come across as rude or anything, but he’s not always the most delicate when using his words. Diluc would say “This is bland.” rather than, “I think we can improve this by adding some spices. :)” He usually means well, though.

Entirely indifferent to animals but if it makes you happy he will move spiders outside instead of squashing them. Even when you’re not around.

Diluc isn’t exactly the jealous type when it comes to other people giving you attention but he does absolutely take notice and is paying extra close attention if someone starts flirting with you. He gets a little more annoyed if you’re actively interacting with him when it happens, but when you’re more on your own he can’t really blame anyone for taking interest in you. Diluc won’t do anything about it and will let you handle it yourself however you see fit unless the person starts getting pushy. Mostly just concerned for your comfort and safety.

This man absolutely knows how to play the piano. If you’ll let him, he wants to listen to you play and if you play the piano with him? Makes his heart so happy, his smile will be so soft. Absolutely thinks about proposing when you play together.

Something about being in the same room as you when you’re writing or drawing and he’s reading or doing work feels so right to him. Even if you’re not interacting, peacefully spending time together while being productive is time well spent, he thinks.

You being smaller than him isn’t something he really pays much attention to. It doesn’t make much of a difference. His thoughts on it are pretty much just, Well, it does make it easier to pull you out of danger. That’s good.

Diluc feels conflicted when you’re babying animals. On one hand, he finds it very adorable. But, it is one of the only times he feels moderately jealous over the fact a cat is getting your attention and not him. He doesn’t get jealous when you spend time with other people or even when you interact with animals in any way other than this. Why does he feel like this? Nobody knows. But it’s true, I feel it in my bones.

Equally awkward if not more so with children. Luckily for him, he’s ‘weird and grumpy’ so kids don’t really seek him out much. It might even keep kids away from you when you’re with him, unless they really like you.

It wasn’t often Diluc wore a pink shirt, actually, you were pretty sure he had never worn one. You don’t recall ever seeing one on him and it was hard to imagine him going out and making the purchase. The sight was unusual enough that when you saw him wearing the pale pink button-up while looking over a few papers in his study, you couldn’t help but ask about it.

“I didn’t know you owned any pink shirts. Is it new?”

Crimson eyes flicked up from the papers in his hand to you. He placed the papers down, leaning back in his chair. You could see his cheeks turning a bit pink, too. The pause he took and his flushed face made you think he was embarrassed about it.

“One of… There was a mixup and one of your red items got mixed in with my white clothes. I don’t have any other clean button-ups at the moment,” he told you bashfully. The bit of color was different from his usual black attire, but you didn’t think it was anything for him to be quite so embarrassed about.

“It looks good,” you assured him, “Maybe you should wear pink more often.”

[heller-obama]

There’s Nothing Wrong With Me (This is How I’m Supposed to Be)

Wowww, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a fic directly onto tumblr. I actually posted this on ao3 like 3 months ago but I guess I just forgot to post it here lol. Well here y’all go, here’s that one merthur fic I wrote like 3.5 months ago! Ao3 link

*^*^*^*

“Right, you filthy vermin.” The slave trader (Jarl, perhaps?) said, looking down at them in more ways than one. “Which one of you is ready to face my champion in the arena?” No one answered him immediately - and not that he gave them much time to.

“No volunteers?” the man asked again, as if that would prompt someone to step up. “Well, I shall have to choose one of you myself, then.” Arthur felt the man’s eyes drag across the small mass of men. “How about…” His stomach began to sink when his gaze landed in his direction. “You?” His finger stopped right next to Arthur, and his stomach plummeted. Like the rest of the prisoners, he looked for the man who was unfortunate enough to be picked - although he already knew who it was.

Merlin blinked at Jarl, as if he couldn’t believe he was chosen out of all the strong, warrior-type men he was surrounded by. “Me?”

Jarl put his hands on his hips. “Death or glory, boy? You should be honoured.”

“But, I—” He started before Arthur cut him off.

“I volunteer,” he yelled up at their captor, subconsciously placing himself in front of Merlin and in between his servant and the dangerous slave trader that was trying to put him into harm’s way - something that definitely did not escape the man’s notice.

“You volunteer?” he chuckled. “I’m sorry, it’s a little late for that.”

“Well, you wanted a volunteer, so here I am. Unless your idea of entertainment is your champion crushing nothing but weaklings like this?” He heard Merlin protest weakly behind him, and he stomped on his foot as discreetly as possible to shut him up. He hoped his face was his regular mask of arrogance and not the complete and utter panic he felt inside. He couldn’t let Merlin fight this “champion,” he just couldn’t—

Jarl squinted down at him. “You think you can offer a better contest?”

“I guarantee it.”

“Arthur, no,” Merlin said quietly behind him, as if Arthur was a dog - or that he'd actually listen.

The slave trade laughed again. “Very well. Your friend will not fight my champion today.” Arthur felt himself release the breath he didn’t know he'd been holding. “Instead, he will fight you.”

Rough hands unceremoniously threw Arthur and Merlin into the “arena,” which was really just a round area bordered by other men hungry to see the two prisoners fight. Arthur almost couldn’t hear himself think, the crowd was roaring and cheering so loud.

“Gentlemen,” Jarl said, rising from his throne and immediately quieting the roars from the men around them. “The rules are simple. One man lives, one man dies.” Loud, raucous cheering rose up from the crowd once more; ending as soon as it started. “If you cannot or will not off your opponent, I shall kill you both.” More cheers rang out across the room as Jarl tossed two (quite shoddily made, if Arthur did say so himself) swords in front of himself and Merlin.

Arthur looked at Merlin and saw the same fear and apprehension shown in his face as he felt himself, which was comforting, in some strange way. He then looked down at the swords and snatched one up for himself, delaying swinging at Merlin until he was sure that his servant could parry it.

Merlin did parry his strike, although it was rather slow and weak for his tastes, and he wasted as much time as he could before launching another strike, backhand this time, and then another one overhead as slow as he could without raising suspicion. His next strike caught Merlin’s blade so that he could pull Merlin towards himself.

“Take it easy, will you?” Merlin ground out as he was pulled against Arthur, trying to pull his blade out from under Arthur’s.

Arthur shot him a look that he hoped said, keep fighting, you arse. “It’s got to look real, hasn’t it?”

Merlin shot him a glare in return that he knew meant he understood, so he finally leveraged his sword so that Merlin was shoved away from him and into the vicious crowd. They shoved him back with an equal amount of aggressiveness, and Arthur attacked him with several strikes he knew Melin couldn’t keep blocking; his parries were already becoming progressively weaker.

Arthur let Merlin strike him this time, and when he did, he responded in another blow that pulled Merlin towards him.

“I refuse to kill you,” Arthur grumbled as Merlin’s elbow nearly caught him in the face.

“If you don’t, he’ll kill the both of us, clotpole,” Merlin shot back.

“Well, do you have any better ideas?” Merlin fixed him with another snarky glare and attempted to move away from him so that he could launch another strike, but somehow, the bumbling idiot managed to trip over the flagstones, lose his sword, and trip Arthur in the progress.

Arthur thanked the gods that the way it happened looked as if Merlin lost his balance and that Arthur used the chance to try to pin him on the ground.

He landed on top of Merlin, both of them grasping at each other’s faces half-heartedly, trying to get the upper hand. The crowd went wild, rushing forwards to get as close to the two fighters as possible.

“What next?” asked Merlin.

“There was no ‘next,’” He scoffed, but before Merlin could respond, Jarl pushed through to the edge of the bloodthirsty crowd.

“Finish him!” Bellowed Jarl.

Merlin shot him a panicked look and a lightbulb seemingly went off in his head as it was replaced with a resigned expression. “Please don’t hate me,” He muttered, and before Arthur could say anything like I could never hate you or something monumentally stupid, like I couldn’t hate you, I love you, Merlin muttered something else, powerful, foreign words that automatically sent a spike of fear into his heart. “Forbærne æltæwelice!” Sure enough, his eyes glowed gold for a few seconds, and suddenly, the flames on the torches doubled and tripled in size, lighting the ropes hanging from the ceiling on fire.

The men in the crowd scattered, causing chaos to erupt in the room and giving them what would be the perfect chance to escape, had Arthur been able to do anything but stare at his manservant in complete and utter shock.

“Get up, you daft twat!” Merlin nearly yelled, rolling out from under Arthur and dragging him to his feet.

He let himself be dragged along and through the crowds, his mind still processing what had happened in the arena. Merlin has magic? Was just one of the many thoughts that were pressing against his head, desperate to escape. The only thought that was more pressing than that was Merlin lied to me, has been lying to me, for the whole time I’ve known him. And then: But did I ever really know him?

He must’ve been more lost in thought than he realized because soon he was running into the forest, Melin dragging him along, with Gwaine at his side, holding the swords they both dropped after their “fight.” They kept on going until Merlin was wheezing so hard he could barely go on, and Gwaine forced them to take a break.

Without waiting for any of their party to catch their breath (including himself), his anger overwhelmed him and he stalked over to Merlin and got into his face, nearly shoving him up against a tree. “What the bloody hell was that, Merlin?” He was so close to Merlin that he could see every single little microexpression on his face; from the total fear that flashed in his eyes like the gold that appeared when he did magic to the way his throat moved as he gulped heavily.

“Arthur, I—” Merlin started, his voice quiet and shaky, but Gwaine interrupted him.

“Arthur, I think you need to calm down. Whatever Merlin did, I’m sure it’s all a big misunderstanding.” Gwaine said behind him, his voice low and calming, as if he was trying to soothe a frightened horse.

Arthur whirled around to face him. “‘A big misunderstanding’? The fact that Merlin is a sorcerer is a little bit different from your bar brawls, Gwaine. Don’t try to involve yourself with things that don’t concern you.”

To his merit, Gwaine looked taken aback as well. “Merlin? A sorcerer?”

Before he could explode any further on the other man, Merlin interrupted them both. “I was born with it!” Yelled Merlin, the desperation and hurt coloring his words so much that Arthur pivoted back around and took a step back.

He said quietly, “What?”

“I never chose to practice magic,” Merlin tried again, his voice its usual level now. “I’ve been levitating things since I could walk. Before I even said my first words, I’d already nearly set my mother’s rocking chair on fire.”

“That’s not possible,” he muttered. All sorcerers chose to practice magic, and if not for evil purposes, they soon were corrupted by it anyways. If there was one thing his father taught him, that would be it. “Have you just been conning me all this time?” Making me fall madly in love with you? He refrained from adding. “What was your plan? To gain my trust until I became king and then manipulate me towards your own goals?”

“Are you kidding me?” His friend - no, the sorcerer - scoffed. “I’ve only ever used my magic to save your royal arse.”

“Bollocks. I would’ve known, I would’ve realized.”

Merlin let out a bitter laugh, one that was so different from the one that Arthur was used to hearing that he nearly couldn’t believe that Merlin could make that noise. “I’ve been saving your arse with magic since before I was your manservant.” He started counting names off on his hand. “Lady Helen, Sir Valiant, Sofia and Aulric, Nimueh - several times, mind you, Cornelius Sigan, Morgause - every single time she shows her face, the Great damned Dragon, just off the top of my head.”

Arthur’s jaw hung open. Not that it dropped open dramatically, like in the bard’s stories, but he opened it to ask a question or just to say anything, but nothing came out and it just opened wider and wider. He tried to say something several times, to no avail, before he finally managed to get a few words out. “You bloody idiot.”

“Excuse me?” Squawked Merlin indignantly.

“You blatantly used magic in Camelot, of all places, so close to the king, who executes anyone rumoured of consorting with a sorcerer?”

Merlin scratched the back of his head, an almost sheepish look crossing his face. “I—Yeah.”

“Why on Earth would you do that?” He took a step forward again, bringing him nearly nose-to-nose with Merlin.

“To protect you! Yeah, at first, it was because it was my destiny; I could never fathom how anyone could ever stand you, but then it was because I couldn’t bear you getting hurt when I could’ve protected you!” By the end of his tirade, he was nearly shouting and his breath was coming quicker - well, quicker than it was before, with the deep breaths they were still taking from their speedy exit from the decrepit castle.

Arthur chose to ignore the first half of Merlin’s rant, and he got a rather warm feeling in his chest from the second half. “Did you ever stop to think that I feel the same way? That if I had to stand and watch you get burnt on the pyre because my father executes everyone suspected of using sorcery that I would never forgive myself for not doing everything I could to protect you and that you got caught using sorcery because of me?”

Arthur watched as a myriad of emotions played out on Merlin’s face; first shock, then disbelief, and finally a look that was filled with such intense fondness that he almost didn’t know what to do with himself.

Merlin’s voice was so quiet that he had to lean in a fraction more to hear him, enough so that their noses were touching, now, less than a hairbreadth of space between them. “You would?”

He let out a little huff of breath. “Yes. I thought I made that pretty damn clear—”

Apparently, Merlin had no intentions of letting him finish that sentence, as he moved his face forward a little bit more until their lips were touching and slotted together and suddenly Arthur was kissing back and he pushed his servant - no, Merlin wasn’t his servant right now, he was his best friend and (hopefully soon) his lover - against the tree. He’d be damned if he said this wasn’t the best kiss he’d ever had and nothing else mattered except the two of them - that is, until Gwaine let out a shrill wolf-whistle behind him.

He broke the kiss and let out a small, disbelieving laugh. “Dear God, we forgot about Gwaine.”

Merlin let out a small laugh as well, and Gwaine’s wolf-whistle made way for cheering and laughing from the third man. “Oh, bugger off, Gwaine!” Merlin complained, somehow sounding both defeated and lighthearted at the same time. Gwaine - predictably - wasn’t deterred, and his laughter just grew louder.

“Just…go collect some firewood or something!” Arthur ordered him, not bothering to turn his face away from Merlin’s.

“Whatever you say, Princess,” Gwaine drawled, and though Arthur couldn’t see him, he was positive that the man added a mocking bow to punctuate his statement before stalking off into the woods. Once he was sure that Gwaine was definitely out of earshot, he leaned his forehead into Merlin’s and started laughing, with Merlin soon joining him.

“Where did we manage to find him again?” He muttered.

“He saved your sorry arse, as I remember it,” Merlin retorted playfully.

“My arse did not need saving!”

“Oh, it most definitely—”

“Merlin?”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“Gladly.” Arthur almost didn’t let him finish that one word by resuming their kiss, relishing in the fact that he’d finally figured out a reliable way to shut his best friend up.

*^*^*^*

Well there y’all go! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!!

[l0rd-0f-the-lies]

*paps* It's all good M'Thude! Now.. Prompts.. Hhmm. Virgils reaction to Janus now being accepted into the "Light Sides"? Or.. Remus and Roman dealing with the fallout of the events that just transpired? Oh.. How about everyone's internal monologue upon hearing Deceit say his name? 🤗

(Disclaimer: I haven't written fic in, several years. Apologies in advance. I also can't figure out how to add a read more, unfortunately.)

Chosen Prompt: Roman and Remus deal with the fallout after SVSR

Pairings: None

Warnings: Angst, but with a happy ending. Some very minor actions that could be considered harmful to the self (digging fingers into arms/shoulders).

Roman didn't want to be in his room any more. His knees had been digging into the pacing worn carpet for far too long already, his fingertips were forming indents on his elbows, and he was tired of staring at the monuments to projects past that glared down at him, menacing reminders of when he was Thomas's ... when the others valued his ideas. Yeah, that. He also just, wanted to be somewhere the others wouldn't go looking, if they bothered to. Patton had already come by to 'check' on him, and had been forced to tell his peace to Roman's door as the prince had refused to get up to answer it. Apparently the parental side felt that Janus hadn't really meant what he'd said, and that there'd been a misunderstanding. He'd apologized for not speaking up during their... disagreement, something about not trying to take sides, and had declared that "You boys will make up in no time, I just know it," before sighing and walking off again, seeming to accept that he wouldn't be invited inside. Yeah, Roman had mentally scoffed, he's so sure. They'll just be buddy buddy in no time... It shouldn't even matter. It shouldn't.

It did.

Wiping yet again at his face, the fanciful side closed his eyes in order to avoid the judgemental gaze of his own decor, consumed by the whirl of thoughts clogging his head. Where could he go? The imagination was far too obvious, if he went to the subconscious it's likely a Function would rat him out, the only other place would be someone else's... But no. None of them would want to see him right now, nor would he want them to see him like this. The only person who might not judge his disheveled state, who wouldn't care how good or bad he might actually be... Is the only one who he really had no right to ask that of, with all the distance he'd placed between them. And yet... the thought wouldn't leave him. Maybe... maybe he would understand, whether Roman felt he deserved it or not. And so, with a deep exhale, the prince sunk down, eyes closing as he Travelled.

He rose up slowly, still settled on his knees as he reappeared, the press of hardwood harsh against them. It made sense, he supposed. Wood was easier to clean up, should... unsavory things spill on it. Eyes taking in his new surroundings, quickly flicking away from things better left unacknowledged, he almost missed the dark lump settled on his brother's bed. It was quiet, so quiet, and that terrified Roman more then if he'd triggered some sort of trumpet launched fireworks booby trap. Remus was -never- quiet, or at least, he'd never been when Roman was around.

"R-remus?" He winced as his voice cracked, vocal cords worn out from crying for so long. "What are you-" His words cut short as the lump sniffled, a loud, snotty sounding snort came from the lump, causing Roman to grimace. Tissues were invented for a reason, not that that'd matter to Remus. "Are you cr- Are you ok?" He amends, it hadn't even occured to him that Remus may be dealing with something himself.

"Just peachy. Like that giant one those kids gobble-gobbled up. Not that you care, of course." It wasn't as if Roman had ever made much effort to seek out his company in recent years, much less made any move to comfort him. No, usually he'd be the first to insult him, remind him of his 'dark side' status. So quick to remind everyone how much better he was then his 'twisted' sibling. Not that he was the cause of this particular cry session. Not directly. No, that honor didn't belong to him today.

The Duke's response caused Roman to wince, glancing down and at least having the decency to look sorry, not that Remus could see it, steadfastly facing the far wall rather then turning over. "I, I do actually." He voiced without stopping to consider why. His heart pounded harshly as the reality that his brother probably wouldn't believe him suddenly hit him, driving him to forget his own reason for coming here for the moment. Instead the crushing need to apologize was swarming, cloying his eyes once more. "I know I haven't, sometimes, and I'm sorry. I, I haven't been very fair to you, recently, and I'm so, so sorry Remus. Please, talk to me? What happened?" He forced himself to stand, knees pulsing painfully in protest after being kept in the same position for so long. Shuffling forward slowly, reminiscent of someone trying to avoid spooking a semi feral cat, he settles on the edge of Remus's bed, hands fidgeting in his lap as he debates reaching towards his sibling.

Remus scrunches his face, forcibly stuffing another wave of tears down as the seemingly genuine words meet his ears, as the bed dips, telling him his brother had taken a seat. "What happened," he grits out, quite literally grinding his teeth together, "is you and Jan decided to drag -me- into your little cat fight." The sound of a shaky inhale can be heard from him, before he slowly turns over, red, watery eyes locking onto Roman's with an unreadable expression. "Well, he did the dragging. But you just rolled right with it, let it cut you real good, didn't ya? God forbid you get compared to the horror that is -me-, right?" He bit out, anger flaring, propping himself on an elbow and a knee to sit up. "You're just here because you got compared to your 'evil twin', and obviously that means Tommy thinks you're just as bad as me, right?" His eyes watered dangerously, threatening to spill over once more. "Doesn't feel so good, does it? Being called the evil one?"

Roman sat frozen, eyes growing wide the more Remus spoke, the more hurt and anger filled the air between them. "I-" He clenched his fingers together tightly, squeezing. "I-" He stuttered out, so much for royal eloquincy. He throws his hands up, frustrated with his inability to form a response to the unexpected, raw pain in his brother's words. What did one even say to that? It had never crossed his mind that his opinion, all of their opinions really, of his brother would actually hurt him. Remus, of all people, seemed the type to -enjoy- being referred to as sinister, wicked, and yes, evil. Or, Roman supposed, that's what he'd always assumed. "I thought you liked being called that?"

Remus seemed to deflate, sighing more to himself then anything and collapsing back against his pillows again. "That's what you choose to focus on?" He asks, again more to himself then anything, before sighing a second time, eyes losing some of their heat. "It can be fun, sometimes. Winding people up until they say it. But only because they think it anyway. Even, even if -you- had said it, I probably wouldn't care. I may have even laughed. But... but Jan, Dee knows. He knows I don't really like it. Especially in comparison to you. He, he's told me before, that I'm not. Not the evil twin. Not a mistake. Not bad, just different. And then... Then he says that. Because he knows it will hurt you, knows it's one of those things you're so fucking insecure about, and don't think I haven't noticed. You have more of those then a dragon's lair does skulls. And I know, I -know- he was hurt, near devastated really, and was just reaching for the lowest, easiest one of those to dig into, to stab at -you- with, but..." He exhales slowly, salty tracks making their way down his face. "But that doesn't mean it didn't -hurt-. Doesn't mean there isn't a chance he really thinks it, no matter -what- he says otherwise. He's Deceit, right?" He huffs bitterly, wrapping his arms around himself and digging his fingers into his shoulders, anger and hurt shimmering in his gaze. Under that though, is something Roman is so, so familiar with. He sees it in the mirror far too often, when his thoughts get the better of him. Deep seated insecurity, shining and broken. It doesn't belong on his twin's face, he finds himself thinking, leaning forward and hovering a hand over Remus, ensure if the other wants to be touched right now.

"I... I didn't know." He says quietly, rushing to finish his thought as he realizes he's said that out loud. "But- but that doesn't make it okay." Roman swallows, trying to quickly comes to terms with his rapidly shifting opinion of his brother after the deeply personal admittance from him, the word 'mistake' ringing uncomfortably in his head. Suddenly, he's no longer seeing a villian, just a hurting, lonely kid, same as him. Just someone who doesn't deserve to feel this way about things they have no control over, never had a choice about. "He's right, and I wish, I wish I had thought of it that way sooner. You -aren't- evil Remus, maybe, maybe you never were. You're just, so different from me, and we were so young when I first started calling you that, but I shouldn't have judged you so harshly. You can be a bit much, but you didn't choose what pieces you got, what role you filled. It doesn't make you a villian. It never should have." He's near about to cry again himself, seeing the hurt he'd helped to cause suffocating his sibling like this. He rests his palm on Remus's arm, squeezing reassuringly. "And I'm sure that De-" He cuts himself off, "that Janice, agrees. He may be a liar, but what does he get out of telling you that you aren't really the bad guy? He knows you aren't evil, Re. It's like you said, he just went for the easiest jab, something he knew I'm afraid of. That I -was- afraid of."

And yeah, Roman hadn't known what response to that he'd expected, but it certainly wasn't the long pause followed by a string of steadily growing giggled. "What did I say? Remus? Are you al-" His question is interrupted by a rough wheeze from the side in question, punctuated by even more giggles before he manages to answer.

"Did- did you say -Janice-? You still think it's -Janice-?" Remus wheezes out, managing a giddy smile as he cackles.

"Y-yes?" His brother hesitantly responds, both looking & sounding unsure. "I, that -is- his name, isn't it? ...You even called him Jan!" Roman suddenly recalls, looking bewildered and nearly offended.

Remus's laughter only grows stronger at that, before he dramatically wipes a tear from his eye, clutching his stomach as he manages to wind down the cackles enough to speak. "Ro, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you are dumb as a box of rocks."

"Hey!"

"It's Janus. Or as I like to call him, Jaynus." This sets off another round of chuckling from the more chaotic twin. "Ya know, as in the -Roman- god, Janus? With a u and an s? Has two fudgin' faces just like dear double Dee's logo?" If ever a grin could be described as shit eating, that was Remus's expression right now.

Roman, at this point, was bright red, embarrassment tinting his skin. "I- I knew that!" He cries, puffing up his chest and placing his fists on his hips. All it took was a skeptical, unimpressed look from his brother and he was deflating, admitting defeat with the lowering of his arms. "Ok, so maybe I didn't! But how was I supposed to know? Mythology is the nerd's thing, not mine!"

"Clearly." Remus teased, sitting up properly and moving to settle beside his brother. His grin slowly faded, replaced by a serious expression that absolutely didn't belong on his face. He clears his throat, but doesn't go on, trying to decide on what he wanted to say as his brother's gaze settled on him questioningly.

"Remus?" He asks, his own expression fading as he takes note of this. "Everything ok?"

"With me? I feel... a lot better. Probably too much. I may have to set something on fire just to get the jitters out later. But what about -you-?" He asks, inquisitive gaze locking with his twins.

"Me? What about me?" Roman scrunches his face in confusion, the quick shifts of their conversation leaving him a bit disoriented as to what his brother meant.

"What about you, what? Don't give me that, I saw how you looked when you first rose up. You came here because you were upset too, and not just about Jan's jab."

Roman unconsciously flinches at the reminder, the ghosts of the looks the other's had given him, at Thomas's lie, because Janus had confirmed it was a lie, hadn't he, clawing at his chest. "I, I'm fine." His voice sounds weak even to his own ears. The look from his brother leaves him grasping at straws. "We literally just established you aren't evil, so what he said doesn't matter, ok? I'm fine."

"You're avoiding what I really mean, Ro." Remus raises his eyebrows, slowly settling a hand on Roman's shoulder, arm tensed as if convinced his brother would pull away. "I'm talking about what -you- said. About not being-"

"What about it?" Roman chokes out, forcing himself not to throw Remus's hand off as he cuts him off. "I know I'm not evil, since you aren't, but... But I'm not the hero either. I'm not -his- hero. I get it, really, I do." He glares down at his boots, expression closing off again.

"Yes, you are."

"W-what?" He's sure he's heard wrong.

"I said, you are. Of course you're his hero Roman, making a few mistakes doesn't change that. Don't be an idiot."

He feels a treacherous bead of hope bubble in his chest, but no, he can't- "But Janus-"

Remus's brow furrowed, his fingers squeezing the other's shoulder to get him to look at him again. "Janus nodded. You assumed he meant Thomas was lying, but you know what they say about -ass-umptions, bro. Thomas was telling the truth."

"What?"

Remus just rolls his eyes, sighing. "He was telling the truth. Janus was agreeing with Thomathy when he nodded. You are that dork's hero, like it or not, and I don't see that changing anytime soon."

Roman doesn't respond, stilling as he processes this. And then-

"Oh damnit. Come here Count Cry-ula." Remus gripes, no real heat to it as he pulls his brother to him, hugging him tight in a way he hasn't since childhood.

Roman manages to laugh wetly through what was probably the second dozen round of tears that night, hugging back like it's the only chance he'll get. "R-really? You aren't, just saying that to make me feel better?"

"Do I -seem- like the feel better side to you?" His brother snorts, a few tears of his own making another run for it. "Yes, really. He loves you Roman, and even if we're all so emotionally backed up it's about to come out the other end, the others do too."

And for the first time that night, he believes it. The hope is so big now, bubbling brightly in his chest, overflowing and spilling freely down his face as he buries it into his twin's shoulder, a bright laugh managing to escape him as his heart swells. They don't hate him. -Thomas- doesn't hate him. Maybe... Maybe things will be okay after all, both twins think, and they laugh together as they cry, the sound a perfect harmony.

[fantroll-purgatory]

Xanatl Cambre, or whatever!

I read homestuck the first time when I was 13 and now that I’m rereading it I realized I processed almost 0 things in it the first time. So this is BASICALLY my first homestuck oc as someone who understands what the hell is happening in homestuck. I’m only about 3000 pages in, so I might have some misunderstandings still, sorry! Please go crazy telling me what I could fix or change, and I also have 0 clue for his appearance soooo. 

Okay! I’ll do my best to tighten this character up a bit!

Name: Xanatl Cambre 

Pronounced “Shan-uh-teal Cam-bray” (for the Aztec god Xolotl, and the coloration of darker axolotl’s- axanthic + the Spanish words for walk and fire/light)

Camnar is a seven-sweep-old violet-blooded troll who failed to fully complete his metamorphosis, for some reason or another- it happens! He possesses an extra set of fully functioning arms, a small flippy-flappy finny-tail-nub, and big bright purple shiny eyes. Everything else seems like it’s grown in okay, probably. Though he was fully capable of surviving his grub trials, his defects are admittedly uncomfortable enough to maybe have earned culling when he was only a few sweeps old, if not for [name here], a jade-blood with a penchant for healthy freaks and everything there is to learn about them (ESPECIALLY messed-up metamorphisizers) assisting in chopping off the extra bits every once in a while when drones come around. And definitely NOT keeping them in a walk in freezer to study. He’s not crippled or weakened by any of them, anyways, they’re just weird to look at- his eyesight might not be great, but he wouldn’t admit it. 

Fire, salamanders in general, the Aztec god Xolotl, and all around childish imbecility are all pretty big parts of and inspiration for his character. 

Hmmm. I feel like this passage comes off as fairly ableist, so watch your language here (i.e. “freaks,” “crippled,” “childish imbecility,” etc.). There is nothing wrong with a jadeblood being interested in mutants who remain healthy or in Xanatl not being weakened by losing body parts or even in him being childishly careless but language matters and I don’t feel comfortable letting it slide.

Interests: Penchant for outdoor land activities, especially camping. Loves using the time on those camp-outs to start fires, make star-maps, and attempt to commune with the dead through rituals found on old forums (with little success).

I like this bit as an emphasis on the fire theme, and I actually really like that you made a seadweller with that fire theme!

 A very keen interest in the occult and black magyks generally, but too lazy to go all the way with it, and too scared to perform it in his underwater home. A notable interest in weather-tracking, especially large storms and how they grow, change, and die. Mild inclinations to cannibalize other trolls- luckily, most don’t fit in his mouth.

WGAT

Finds great joy in training his lusus to do tricks and assist in hunting for dinner. A great cook! Especially loves spicy food (mustard flowers grow around his hive, and he uses their seeds/”eye of newt” for a kick a lot of the time). General propensity to put whatever he can fit into his mouth in his mouth that caused a lot of sickness as a young troll. One of his favorite non-food things to eat that isn’t necessarily dangerous are agave americana plants, which he grows and keeps all over the top floor of hive (he probably could not keep any other plants alive). Spends a lot of time with [insert jadeblood’s name], but mostly out of the obligation of their friendship, because he’s kind of tired of her cutting his fingers off to study their regrowth. He’s also mildly obsessed with siren stories and myths, but he doesn’t really know why. 

He lives in a two-story hive. The lower story sits below the water in a somewhat shallow muddy canal, and the top half hugs the shoreline. He spends most of his time in the bottom half, though.

Ooooh I really like that setup!

Personality: He’s kind of a coward. Very averse to change, but not fully content in his quiet life. He doesn’t particularly like company and when other trolls are around he feels urges to hurt them until they go away/are digested. Those urges don’t make him uncomfortable or guilty. It’s natural! Despite enjoying his outside time, most things he indulges in are sedentary- he’s very lazy and drowsy most hours of the night. He’s very defensive of his interests and his home, a little insecure in general. His high caste boosts his self esteem and his mutations knock it down- though he’s very removed from his society as a whole, self isolating with abandon, he dreams of mingling with the upper class in the deep ocean. Every troll and lusus around would probably kill him if he tried though, haha! He doesn’t like to talk about his emotions, or his future.

Wow unfortunate mood.

Special Abilities: None! Not notably strong, compared to any of his peers. A pretty normal kid/fish. Well, his extra arms and tail have some regenerative properties- he’s not sure if this extends to the rest of his body, and he refuses to test it. 

Strife Specibus: Mandible-kind. Xanatl’s teeth are fairly small and underdeveloped, sharp but tiny. He has a set of big dentures he fits over his own teeth, fixed from a few native canal beasts lost teef. 

Ooooh I really like that! You could also maybe have him fashion Greek-fire like molotov cocktails that he is verrrry reticent to use since it would burn his house down possibly.

Fetch Modus: Not sure! Maybe something to do with those lame circular life-cycle charts. Or a call to lotl’s regenerative abilities, like it breaks a piece off the item and it has to regrow so he can use it.

Hmmmm. What about a MITOSIS MODUS, which accepts an item and begins the process of cell division. For the next 24 hours, the item is inaccessible, but after those 24 hours he has two of the item!

Symbol and Meaning: Oh, no idea.

I’ll explain a little more down under title assignation, but I think Aquamini, Sign of the Idiosyncratic works exceptionally well.

Handle: neotenticSalamancer OR neotenicNecramander ? I wasn’t sure if it HAD to follow the GCAT thing, and if it did, what to use. 

You don’t have to follow GCAT! Those trolltags were specific to Hussie’s narrative and you don’t have to adopt that convention. I actually really like neotenicNecromander it’s cute.

Quirk: So I have two ideas for this:

replaces “sh” sounds with “x”, misspells often, not one to xout or use capital letters in general, and ends sentences with his tail =>

Or

u232 3 to r3plac3 “e” and 2 to r3plac3 “s”, 32 billion b3ing th3 numb3r of ba23 pair2 in th3 axolotl2 g3nom3… 2till u232 th3 cut3 tail too tho =>

Ooooh I like the first one for readability! Like yes leetspeak is a valid quirk but also I like when people break from that.

Lusus: Giant salamander-sized two-faced Xoloitzcuintli-type amphibious woofbeast. Not sure what to call this guy! Maybe “Mudpapi”, like mudpuppy. 

I love that nickname :D

Land: Land of Tilapia and Lightning, LOTaL (haha). Big beasts and big storms both threatening to swallow him. 

I super appreciate the acronym so I wanna keep that, but the first word of the Land usually related to its feel and the second to its quest. I can kiiiinda see how you could build a quest around lightning but the Vibe being tilapia doesn’t quite track for me. What about Land of Torches and Lightning, so it’s a bright planet but with two light sources trying to extinguish one another?

Title: I’m not sure I want him to ever god-tier because of his crippling fear of death and change. Like he would probably just blatantly refuse to, and stay content with being at the top of the echeladder pre-god tiers. I don’t know what his title would be, it’s a tough one! It’d be funny to make him a seer (for axolotl’s terrible eyesight, and the myth of xolotl crying his literal eyes out), but he’s probably a page. Of what? I’unno. 

:) I think he is for SURE a Page of Doom then. He has so much to do with death and rot and a lack of embracing that, and I can see potential for the character to really grow into that.

Lunar Sway: Derse? I’m inclined to want to give him both, because of the minor twin theming, but not sure what the rules are there. 

Ehhhh his personality is a lot more Derse with the desire for control over his circumstances. There are certainly cases where characters can have two moons but I don’t think this is it.

Thank you!!

No problem! I hope this helped!

-TR

[briangroth27]

Toy Story 4 Review

I rewatched the first three Toy Story films and the shorts before seeing this, and I was blown away by how perfect this series has been so far. Making one great movie is extremely difficult, but making a full franchise that's this good seems like it should be impossible, yet here they are. So, in addition to being one of my favorite franchises since my childhood, Toy Story 4 had a massive legacy and standard to live up to. Incredibly, it completely lives up to both!

Full Spoilers...

This is very much Woody's (Tom Hanks) movie and Hanks runs with it, bringing Woody's character through a familiar struggle that leads him to a completely new place by the end without ever feeling like we’re retreading old ground. At first, Woody's attempts to force Forky (Tony Hale) to accept his role as a toy despite his insistence that he was trash (since Bonnie (Madeleine McGraw) made him out of trash) felt like a weird message to send. Then I realized it was more like what he did for Buzz (Tim Allen) in the first film, albeit with more understanding on Woody's part; even though he was similarly replaced, that’s some nice growth from the old cowboy. It doesn't matter what the toys thought they were initially—with Buzz and the BattleSaurs, we've seen toys’ fresh-out-of-the-box personalities mimicking whatever they were built as rather than realizing that they were toys—and what really makes them who they are is what they mean to a child. Because of a kid's love, they can be more than trash; more than a space ranger.

It's a nice bit of cyclical plotting that Woody goes through this again at the end of his time in another kid's room, and watching him realize that there could be more to life than going from kid to kid and endlessly being discarded was great. Toy Story introduced the terror of being left behind, TS2 played with Woody’s acceptance of the fact that Andy would eventually leave him, TS3 forced him to actually deal with Andy outgrowing him (which is entirely different from acknowledging the concept), and this movie gives us a glimpse of what happens next, when Woody has to face the entire cycle again. I really liked his admission that all he had left to give was protecting Bonnie, even though she’d moved on from him (an interesting adjustment to his outlook, given how he used to see being replaced as the worst thing that could happen). Even if he couldn’t be the toy she adored and needed, he would supply that love no matter what problems or challenges it caused in the process. Woody’s drive verged on obsession more than a few times, leading him to take really irresponsible risks and I almost think he gets off a little too easily (which would be my one note for the movie). Bo (Annie Potts) gets to be rightfully furious with Woody for not listening to her much better thought-out plans and causing real damage to her friends, but since Woody is also unable to fully let go as the leader of Andy’s toys now that they’re Bonnie’s, it would've also been nice for Dolly (Bonnie Hunt) to be right about what Bonnie needs instead of Woody ultimately knowing what’s best. Either way, I would’ve liked an apology from him to Dolly, because that section’s really the one where it feels like Woody can do no wrong, even while flouting the rules of the new room (and even if it saddles him with Forky). I wonder if Forky jumping out of the RV window was an intentional callback to Woody accidentally knocking Buzz out of Andy’s window in the first film, since that also sent him on a journey of self-discovery about his place in the world and led to a toy realizing their true purpose.

Woody's reunion with Bo (Annie Potts) was great and she was absolutely outstanding! She was so cool and I loved that it wasn't some horrible trauma that made her the awesome adventurer she’d grown into, just an unwillingness to continue sitting on her lamp watching the world go by without her. What an excellent, inspiring, and unfortunately rare motivation for a strong female character! Judging by her attitude to being given away in the flashback, she was already more well-adjusted to the possibility of being discarded than Woody and it was very cool to see that evolve into the fearless and free doll she became. I feel like we got enough nods to her history and relationships here that I don't need to see a prequel that spells out her journey (though if they gave us one I’d watch it), but I would be totally up for a sequel about her continuing adventures. Maybe it was the CGI quality of the time, but it really looked like Bo Peep’s dress was part of her ceramic sculpt in the first two movies. If it not being part of her sculpt is a retcon allowing her to be more active in cloth clothes this time around, then that doesn’t bother me at all. Her reaction to her broken arm was pretty funny! I was surprised that Woody’d spent all that time dating Bo back in Andy’s room and didn’t know that Billy, Goat, and Gruff (Emily Davis) were girls (and didn’t even know their names!); even with the excuse that they weren’t Andy’s toys, it was pretty selfish of him to not know that (and selfishness is not a new flaw for him).

Buzz’s screentime felt significantly shorter than in the other three films, but it didn’t hurt the movie for me. With this being Woody’s farewell, Buzz’s more limited focus felt right (though maybe a talk between him and Forky about their initial senses of self would’ve been worthwhile). The subplot of Buzz learning to listen to his “inner voice” (misunderstanding what Woody said about his conscience) was really enjoyable (even if this movie took some liberties in giving both Woody and Buzz more sayings in their voice boxes than it seemed like there ever were before). That was a fun callback to Buzz taking everything about himself so literally in the first movie! I would’ve liked for more of the old gang beyond Buzz to have more to do than wait in the RV, but the script and the actors made the most out of limited screentime. I liked that Bonnie promoted Jessie (Joan Cusack) to sheriff and would be interested to see how she and Dolly run things in the room without Woody (at the end, I wondered if Bonnie took Jessie to school with her, if Jessie hopped in her backpack on her own, or if Dolly agreed to send her). Letting Woody have a moment to return his badge to Jessie was a nice way to give him a chance to willingly let go of his status and his past while relenting to and restoring the way Bonnie set things up. Whether given a few funny lines or slightly larger gags, all of the other toys got a chance to shine. Buttercup (Jeff Garlin) gets an especially odd and hilarious running gag of trying to get Bonnie’s dad (Jay Hernandez) arrested to halt the family’s trip and stall for time. It was also cool to see players from the Toy Story shorts like Combat Carl (Carl Weathers) and Old Timer (Alan Oppenheimer) get moments here. It’s always nice to see shorts like those remain part of the world instead of becoming unconnected extras to be forgotten.

I liked all the new characters too! Duke Caboom (Keanu Reeves), Giggle McDimples (Ally Maki), and Ducky & Bunny (Keegan-Michael Key & Jordan Peele) were all really great additions to this world, representing a wide variety of toys with different goals, tactics, and dreams, which was refreshing: a lesser film would’ve had them pursing the same dream or wouldn’t have bothered to dig into their humorously tragic backgrounds (or imaginations) at all. Forky was funny too, as well as serving as an interesting peek into the imbuement of consciousness onto something by a kid. It was intriguing that even the other toys hadn’t seen something like that happen before (even with sentient chair Chairol Burnett (Carol Burnett) in Bonnie’s closet). His life gives credence to the idea that a toy’s purpose really is to be there for their kids while they need them, even if they don’t know it yet.

The movie’s villain, Gabby Gabby (Christina Hendricks) was quite creepy and worked really well as a dark reflection of Woody’s own insecurities about losing his kid while acting as an example of a toy that had gone off the deep end by being discarded (at first). The body horror they came up with through her wanting to take Woody’s voice box—by force, if necessary—just so she could experience the love of a child was really effective. I liked that they found a way to bring Woody to a place where he’d willingly give up his voice box (to save Forky) rather than it be stolen and that Gabby Gabby wasn’t actually that evil; she could be redeemed. I was definitely expecting a turn where Woody fought to get his voice box back and I was pleasantly surprised that it didn’t go that way. It was very cool that even after being abandoned by what she believed to be her one way out of the store and offered a chance to come with Bonnie, Gabby Gabby was still a good enough person that she chose to help another lonely and lost soul (Maliah Bargas-Good), risking abandonment again but finding a real home instead. With Woody failing to listen to just about everyone about the right way to do things, Gabby Gabby giving up the “sure thing” of Bonnie’s love to take a chance on something that felt more right was a cool way to stealthily foreshadow and parallel Woody making the same choice, just for himself rather than another kid. Gabby Gabby, even more than Woody, understood that the important thing wasn’t to be just another toy for a great kid, but to be the toy for the right kid at the right time. This is an especially cool parallel since Woody comes so close to being a contender for the villain role here too, given how obsessed he is with doing what he thinks is best for Bonnie. Gabby Gabby’s hench-dummies, the Bensons (Steve Purcell), were super-creepy! I wouldn’t have minded them taking the horror of those dummies a step further, but this worked perfectly as is. I know the Bensons have a very common ventriloquist’s dummy design, but I couldn’t help but wonder if their look was based off the book and movie version of Goosebumps’ Slappy.

At first I was skeptical that they had any full-length-worthy story left to tell in this universe and I was content for them to just continue doing periodic short films, but I was excited when I heard this would be a romantic comedy about finding Bo Peep. I’m not sure the romantic comedy vibe fully survived into the final version of the film, but taking us back to find Bo was certainly worth it and this turned out better than I could’ve imagined. The movie hit really strong emotional beats all the way through, with the flashback to Bo being given away, a very smooth recap of Woody’s life with Andy (Jack McGraw, John Morris) and Bonnie, Woody feeling left behind in Bonnie’s room, and eventually Woody nearly saying goodbye to Bo again…but changing his mind and leaving all his friends behind instead. I’m a sucker for goodbyes between family and friends, so both that one and Bo initially being given away hit me hard. Not quite as hard as Andy giving his toys to Bonnie in Toy Story 3, but they were still powerful moments. The knowledge that Woody and the gang from Bonnie’s room will probably never see each other again hurt, but I’m glad to know he’s off to find a new purpose for himself (finding homes for all the carnival toys and living his own life with Bo), rather than continuing to devote himself to someone who doesn’t need him anymore and has decidedly moved on (as I’ve seen others point out elsewhere).

The RV, carnival, and Second Chance Antiques store all provided a great variety of new locations for adventures. It was cool to see everyday settings like a store and a fair get the toy’s-eye-view treatment, transforming them into wondrous and danger-filled playgrounds. The action was great and made good use of not only the toys’ specific attributes, but tied their emotional arcs together really well too. CGI technology has improved a lot since the first film and these characters look outstanding in their latest (and last?) film. The writing and pacing were on point, while Randy Newman’s score brought a great familiar feel to the proceedings.

Toy Story 4 is an absolute delight and totally worth seeing in theaters! If they want to do another sequel and continue either Bo/Woody’s or Buzz/Bonnie’s Room stories (or both), I would definitely be down for that. I trust them to find a new story to tell with each movie and know that they’d make it fantastic, just like the rest of this franchise. However, if all we get from Toy Story is more short films, that’s OK too. And if this is the real end, then it’s a great one.

 Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!

[imitationpersonne]

Lotus: Talk about a struggle you overcame (or are currently overcoming). How did it affect you?

Cute Flower-themed Asks

He exhales after a moment and speaks in a voice both resigned and rueful.

“Yeah… I guess I could talk about that. Nobody’s really listening right now anyway, and I can only imagine my therapist would think this is good for me. Trying to put this sort of thing in words to somebody who isn’t her… It’s funny; no matter how many times I’ve had to talk about it in therapy by now, it’s still hard to get it all out. I say ‘it’ like it’s just one thing, but of course, if it were just a single issue, things wouldn’t be nearly so complicated.

“We’ve rifled through so many nuances at this point, I can hardly imagine where to start now. Perhaps it’s best I answer the question that’s always the first on others’ minds. I was the only one to disappear completely this past summer break, to not show up to a single extra-curricular training session that–let’s be honest–was basically mandatory if any of us expected to be able to keep up for the rest of third year. And I showed up an entire week late to the beginning of the next trimester at that. So where did I go?

“There were plenty of theories regarding what I could have possibly been up to, some especially unsavory ones considering I had recently made…many more enemies, some of them my old friends and classmates. …Unfortunately, some of those rumors just happened to hold the truth. Kendou was the only one who actually knew anything, though. But she’s a good friend; she only ever told anybody exactly what I asked her to. I went to France. It was…a family matter.

“If it could be considered a ‘family matter’ that the only reason my parents sent me so far away was because they wanted to be absolutely certain no one who knew us would discover our shame. My shame…I guess… You see, I’d gotten into a bad spot at school. I’d become so bitter… Nobody was living up to my expectations, yet I myself never seemed to get the admiration I deserved. I got so angry thinking everyone was gradually turning on me–losing interest or judging me unfairly or stabbing me in the back in favor of others–I went too far. My drive to ‘give them all what they deserved’ had begun to put not only my enemies but my old comrades in danger. I admit now I let them down–even though I swear I was the one who felt let down by all of them.

“I was assigned school-sponsored counseling sessions, but really, what was there to help me with if the problem was with everybody else? …It didn’t work out very well, so…in the end, school administration gave me an ultimatum. Take a break to spend the upcoming summer away in intensive ‘behavioral therapy’ or face suspension and possible expulsion from UA. So I went. (No, not that easily, but that doesn’t matter.) It wasn’t any real sort of choice, you know? So yeah, ha ha ha, Monoma really is crazy; he got pulled out of school and ‘locked up’ and everything! You see? How could I possibly tell anybody about this? Sometimes I can still only barely swallow it myself.

“Kendou only knew because I told her before I left, because…if the worst were to happen–if, for whatever reason, I were to never come back to UA–I needed somebody to understand what happened. Maybe it was silly, but…it’s terrifying to imagine being forgotten by absolutely everybody–for all the people who once knew me to just move on without me.

“So, I was banished to France. My mother’s an immigrant, and we’ve paid multiple visits and vacations to the country, so I suppose that was the first option to come to mind when my mother decided to expel me from my home country to distance my problems from her reputation. At least she had the benevolence not to spare expense for her dear wayward son.

“I hear it’s well-known for its ‘quality facilities and reliable treatment’. I promise I’ve only experienced the one, so my frame of reference for luxury mental health centers is limited. The way one of the other patients in my group described it, it was a ‘convenient place for rich parents to stick their kids when they were tired of dealing with them after fucking them up.’ Hah… She was a piece of work, honestly. But by the end, I don’t know if I could call her wrong…

“It’s not like there were actual crazy people. At least, they weren’t very crazy. Sure, there was a…frankly gorgeous boy–who saw things his quirk couldn’t account for and had stalked and threatened a few innocent people because he ‘knew’ they were criminals. (Hah, an aspiring hero, actually…) There was a girl who made a habit of hurting herself, who tried to get under everybody’s skin in the worst possible ways and ended up making all the people who passed through hate her, even though, I’m pretty sure she just secretly wanted to keep all of them there, with her. And there were plenty of others; every single one of them was different.

“But there was nobody wrapped up in straight jackets or tied to beds, no gowns or hospital-like sterility… It’s not at all like what you see in the movies, and I can’t say I was disappointed in the least with that discovery. That’s probably a different kind of place. Here though, it was mostly just…an assorted variety of unhappy ‘young adults’ without much hope or other place to go.

“That wasn’t me, though. I had plans; I was poised on the edge of fulfilling my dreams. I wasn’t some broken, lost reject reaching their dead end, and I had no intention of sticking around for long. I didn’t belong there, and I was determined to prove that. I knew I would be able to show them all this was clearly a misunderstanding, a mistake, and that I was fine.

“I admit I myself made some mistakes. I may or may not have broken a few (silly) rules more than once… I was angry and frustrated and bored and–… Well, I think Felix could probably be a whole story of his own. But looking back on it, I guess I can’t blame them for being unconvinced. It’s strange; it seems almost anything you thought was normal can look like mental illness when you’re already a patient. It was–… Sometimes I still can’t tell what’s okay and what isn’t.

“…In any case, after three weeks of things mostly being everybody else’s problem, they decided to keep me longer than the agreed-upon four. Which, finally, explains my absence for the first week of school. I was not pleased to hear this decision. I was so beyond displeased–didn’t even know that was on the table–that they could trap me there until they got what they wanted? And what was that exactly? Was I supposed to cry, admit to feeling hopeless, give them a sob story about my parents or confess to some flaw they could fix in me? It felt like I was being punished.

“I didn’t know what to do, but I had no choice but to try. I didn’t have time for anything else; UA would surely wait no longer. And do you know how hard it is to trust the people keeping you back from your life? These were the people who expected me to open up to them, the ones with the power to hold hostage everything I held dear. And what if I conceded the problems they were looking for? Wouldn’t that just prove I needed to stay longer? Being forced to expose yourself to the people looking to convict you… It’s such a trapped feeling, it could break a man.

“So I broke. …I don’t know… I said things, and the more I said, the more there was to look into. Eventually I said…a lot. Enough, I guess, to be shown a mirror, a framed reflection of myself and my life and the things that went on within it. And it was awful. The perspective was so off from what I was familiar with, it was almost unrecognizable. The things I was convinced–I knew must be normal, stupid unpleasant things that nobody talks about but everybody goes through and just has to get over– They’re not; they’re really bad–and I hated it. I still hate it so much–things I could have just ignored or forgotten about, now I can’t. Sometimes I just can’t stop thinking about it. And the realization, that I really am one of the broken people that belong here–facing the fact that I’m ruined, and I don’t feel like a whole person… The fact that there is no cure for all the things wrong with me; there’s no medication I can just take and make it all better, unlike some people; it’s just me; I’m stuck with all of this…

“… Sorry… I don’t think I’ve gotten through this still. If there was some happy ending I was supposed to receive by the end of my stay, I think I missed it. And I think it’s because, in the end, the administrators must have actually had ‘mercy’. It turns out they actually did care about me missing school and losing my opportunities…so it came down to a choice between my full recovery or my future. I must have made just enough ‘progress’ to be set free.

“Coming back has been hard in ways I didn’t know it could be. I actually am on medication now; though I’m pretty sure I didn’t have depression before… And I think the dose must still need adjusting.I’ve apologized to the people who deserved it, and of course, I’m still seeing a therapist… But I’m just so exhausted. Even after making up the week’s worth of missed work, it feels like I’m barely treading water, in school and…in general.

“I have some of my friends back, but I’m sure I’m not the same person to them. Somehow that’s not even a good thing. I just can’t seem to turn it all back on; it just feels so fake and falls apart. I can’t help but keep wondering if none of this should have happened in the first place. If I could just go back, forget I’ve ever learned anything, and just return to thinking the way I used to. I was okay–more okay than this, wasn’t I? Am I really looking forward to anything better? I didn’t have to know. –I know… I know living like that was toxic in so many other ways, that it wasn’t real, and I was hurting myself and other people. But my parents seem to be doing just fine operating the way they do, don’t they? If I could have made it work for me… –And what is real anyway? I don’t even know what makes sense anymore.

“This was the worst time something like this could have happened (though I can’t imagine what it would have been like saying what I did before I was eighteen; that could have been disastrous). Now, arguably the most important year, when I’m so close to graduation and supposed to be focusing on final internships and impressing prospective agencies the most… There’s just no time for any of this, and I can’t…

“I’m worried I left too early.I never want to go back there, but at the same time, I’m terrified I might need to… But at this point, it would ruin everything; I simply can’t. So I’m just doing my best; all I can do is my best and hope that it gets better.

“…Thanks for listening.”

[tangyyyy]

Lucille and Eliott met when they were both very young, here is a piece of their love story. They truly loved each other, maybe in a wrong way, but love isn’t always an easy thing to live and to do. From 2014 to 2019. From Lucille to Lucas, with a lot of Eliott in the middle. 

This is it

Tuesday March 5 2019, 11:05 am

As time went by, Lucille had to face the facts, something had been broken between her and Eliott. Yet the young woman had done everything she could to revive their past relationship, everything. She had been patient, had listened to him, had taken care of him. They had both gone to a party organised by Chloé. If the two young people had seemed to be having fun, it was only superficial. Lucille was devastated. Helpless, she could only watch Eliott move away from her a little more each day. She would have liked to think that all was Lucas's fault. She would have loved to blame the young man for all her misfortune but unfortunately it wasn't the truth. Eliott and him weren't together. Lucille didn't know the details, but she knew something had gone wrong between the two of them. No, she had to accept it : Eliott was slowly walking away from her because he wanted to.

Every night the young woman couldn't stop the tears from running down her face. What would she become without Eliott ? She had only known him, she grew up beside him. Lucille without Eliott wasn't really Lucille anymore. Her whole body seemed to be suffering from this situation. As if every step of Eliott's farthest away from Lucille, was a stab in every inch of the young woman's skin. One Tuesday morning, while Lucille was supposed to be at college but had preferred to stay home to mope in the dark, Eliott had sent her a message. The message that Lucille dreaded seeing on her phone for days. "We really need to talk. Are you at home?" At the reading of this message, Lucille had let slip a small plaintive groan from the bottom of her knotted throat. It would have been tempting, for the young woman, to ignore the message, to fly her phone in one of her room's corner and to return to hide under her comforter. But she didn't do anything. As painful as it may seem, Eliott was right, they had to talk. Lucille wasn't stupid, she knew very well where this talk would lead them but... This time, not like the last one, she had to face it. Whatever Eliott's decision might be, she would accept it. She texted him back with shaking fingers, a tear of grief crashing down on the phone's screen. "Yes. Come anytime you want." Not even bothering to wear something other than her old tracksuit, she still styled her hair in a simple pony tail and heated some water in the kettle. Once the water was hot, she filled two big mugs. In one she put down a bag of Japanese green tea, her favorite and in another, a spicy black tea bag, Eliott's favorite. Hardly had she put the two mugs on either side of the small table in the living room, she heard a small knock on the front door. Lucille smiled sadly. Would she ever find a boy she'd know as well as she knew Eliott? Did she only want to?

She opened the door and greeted Eliott without coming over to kiss him as usual, just smiling at him in a shy way. The young man sat on one of the comfy blue velvet armchairs and grabbed the mug between his fine hands. Lucille sat on the couch, which seemed, for the first time, way too big for herself. "Thanks for the tea." Drinking a sip of hot tea, the young woman didn't answer. She liked this feeling, the too hot liquid in her mouth, burning her tongue slightly. "This situation makes us both unhappy.” Said the young man without any preamble. Lucille squeezed her mug in her hands and looked up at him. "That's right..." She simply replied. A heavy silence fell on them. Lucille would have liked to disappear, to fall asleep for ten long years and to wake up thinking about this talk which would be nothing but a bad memory. Or else, better, she would have wished to fall asleep to wake up a few moments later, realising that this moment was a mere nightmare. Her worst nightmare, seeing Eliott leaving her. But she wasn't crazy, it was real, even if the young man struggled to find his words, his intention remained clear. He was leaving Lucille for the second time in a few days. Except that now, the young woman would let him talk. Anyway, deep inside herself, Lucille had always known this. If their love story had to end one day, it was inevitably Eliott who would go away, not her. Never her. "I'm sorry.” Eliott faltered. Lucille wiped a small tear on her cheek and looked up again at the young man. "Sorry for what ? -For... You know what I told you last Sunday, I really meant it and I still mean it. But... It didn't work well with Lucas and... And I felt sad and you were there. I... I let you hope that something was possible, but I should have been clearer, stand my ground, it was... -Eliott.” Interrupted the young woman. "It's... Well, I'm sorry too. I didn't take you seriously and... And last week when I saw you so sad on the bench I thought maybe it was because you regretted this breakup. I took advantage of... Of your sadness to reassure me. It was stupid." Silence fell again, leaving each of them immersed in their own thoughts. Eliott was biting his lips nervously and Lucille could no longer restrain a single one of her tears. "So this is it. This is the end.” Eliott's voice was low, almost a whisper. "Looks like it, yes." Lucille heard a voice in her mind. A small voice borned in her heart and blooming in the hollow of her ear: "Fight! What are you waiting for?! Are you dumb or what?! You'll lose him! You have to fight for him for fuck's sake! He's leaving you, do something, you're nothing without him, nothing! Nothing at all!” But all that was useless, Lucille knew it well, she no longer had the strength to fight. She was nothing without Eliott? Alright, then she would become nothing. Just a little speck of dust, remains of a broken heart that had once been full of joy alongside Eliott.

"I... I just have a question and... and then I'll let you go.” Lucille said in a sob. "Do... Do you regret those five years?" Eliott took a deep breath, leaned over, brought the mug to his lips and sat down again. He seemed to hesitate. Or did he weigh each of his words before answering? Lucille hung on his lips like a shipwrecked to his lifebelt. "Not at all. We had some great moments together... and... I wouldn't be the same today if you hadn't been there. It's just... We fell in love when we were still kids. We have grown up, things have changed." Lucille wiped her cheeks soaked in tears again. "You're wrong." Eliott looked up at her. Lucille clarified her thought. "Well... Maybe, no doubt, your feelings have faded over time, but..." A new sob. "But my owns only got stronger. It would have been easier for me if we'd never met. " Eliott lowered his head. Above all, not wanting the young man to misunderstand her intentions, Lucille forced herself to speak again, this time raising a little more her broken voice. "I don't say that to make you feel guilty. It's just that... I've always been honest with you, I've always told you everything... And I don't see why I'd shut up now. I still love you, it's not a secret." In front of Lucille's self-assurance, Eliott frowned. "Don't worry Eliott, I understood this time. We're no longer a couple.” The young woman added to reassure him while tearing her own heart apart by pronouncing these mere but terrible words. For a few seconds, perhaps a minute, nothing was heard in the livingroom except the street's noises, Lucille's discreet sobs, and the spoon in Eliott's mug, which the young man stirred nervously. Then, the latter stood up. "Well... I think I'll leave now. -Okay." Lucille stood up too. He walked to the front door, she followed him. Then, when he put his hand on the handle, the young woman couldn't help but ask him one last favor. "W... wait." He turned around. "Can... Can you kiss me? One last time. Just one last time." Lucille hated herself. She hated to be so vulnerable, so pathetic. But it was stronger than her. She would have climbed mountains, sold father and mother, killed if necessary, to even feel one last time Eliott's lips against her skin. Hesitant for a moment, the young man walked to her slowly, leaned over and kissed her wet cheek. By automatism or by need, she didn't really know anymore, the young woman raised her hands and carried them to Eliott's hips. The latter, as if electrocuted by this touch, straightened up, gently gripped her wrists and pushed them towards her. "No, Lucille... -Yes, yes, I know, sorry.” She apologized, sniffling loudly. Eliott, too, had slightly wet eyes. This sight reassured the young woman for a split second. So, it wasn't that easy to break up with her... She lowered her eyes. "You... you really deserve to find someone who'll really love you and who'll be able to make you happy." Lucille remained silent, her eyes staring at Eliott's feet.

"See you." The young man turned away and walked to the door. Lucille wanted to answer him but the words remained stuck in her dry throat. As soon as the door closed on Eliott, the young woman collapsed to the ground, banging her knees on the old crackling floor of her mother's apartment. She took her head in her hands and let sorrow invade her whole body. That was it, it was finished. She was nothing.

[getoffthesoapbox]

[FMP!IV] EP3 - A Hint of Gold Amidst Pyrite

If not for the final five minutes, episode 3 of Full Metal Panic! Invisible Victory would have been an utter disappointment after such a strong showing in the first two episodes. One of FMP’s weakest areas has always been its mecha-focus when Sousuke and Chidori’s emotional storyline is removed from the battle. The side characters in FMP and even Sousuke by himself just aren’t strong enough to carry the emotional core of a story as ambitious as FMP, and unfortunately that means any episode that focuses heavily on the military characters at the expense of Chidori ends up being a weaker showing than episodes where she’s at the center. It’s not that the storylines themselves are bad, it’s just that for whatever reason the chemistry of the characters and the narrative pacing just don’t mesh well enough to create the tension necessary to pull them off effectively.

Fair warning: much griping full speed ahead. Proceed with caution.

An Unwelcome Return to Form

What we end up with is a long episode of pointless fighting with characters we barely know and hardly care about being turned into canon fodder in order to up the stakes artificially. Sure, it’s flashing and “exciting” if mindless battles are your cup of tea, but there’s almost a sense of ridiculous overpowering to the villains’ godzilla mechs that the sense of urgency and surreality captured so beautifully in the first two episodes is completely destroyed. 

What’s incredibly disappointing about this kind of lazy writing is that it is coming off such a strong foundation--the first two episodes upped the stakes in a believable, dramatic way that was organic to the situation and truly did raise the tension and the stakes. This episode put us back safely behind the fourth wall--no one we actually care about is “truly” in danger on the military battlefield because there are plenty of redshirts to be sacrificed meaninglessly for them. Overall, I was quite disappointed with the majority of the episode. This would have been tolerable in season 1 and and TSR (TSR was of course the weakest of the seasons precisely because it dispensed with its strong points and tried to focus whole-heartedly on the military aspects), but it’s not acceptable in IV and I hope this is the end of this kind of lazy writing for this season. The last five minutes give me a bit of hope that it might be.

That being said, I have a major bone to pick with how Tessa was handled that I’d like to address separately. I’d also like to dig into the final five minutes for a bit, as that’s where all the gold was this episode and also where its saving grace lies. 

Tessa - Once a Figurehead, Always a Figurehead

I mentioned in my previous post on episodes 1-2 of FMP!IV that I was delighted to see Tessa step up as a commander. One of my chief complaints about her character is that the story tries to have its cake and eat it too--it wants us to believe she’s (a 16 year old kid) is a capable commander of a fleet of mercenaries while also having us believe she’s a lovable goof of a girl who bumbles into love for Sousuke. These two things cannot exist simultaneously, and episode 2 made me believe we were finally moving forward with her character’s qualified attributes and dispensing with the harem hijinks variants.

Unfortunately, episode 3 decided to roll all that back with Speck asking Kurz if Tess “really meant it” when she threatened to take his life. Kurz, predictably, downplays her intent--she’s “not that kind of girl.” What kind of girl is that, exactly, Kurz? The “kind of girl” who says what she means? The “kind of girl” who knows that in a life/death situation, sometimes drastic measures have to be taken to protect the most people? The “kind of girl” who is capable of making hard choices?

What ticks me off about this turn of events is that it retroactively makes Tessa look weak and full of nothing but hot air. Her strength in episode 2 lay in the believability of her threat--she was serious, and she was going to take matters into her own hands because she is a commander  and when push comes to shove she will take responsibility even if it means dirtying her lily white hands. But what Kurz (and the narrative) try to do in episode 3 is backtrack and say “oh wait, we didn’t mean it! Don’t worry! She’s still a cute, bumbling oaf who’d never hurt a fly! You can keep on fantasizing about her innocent waifu-ness! She’s not threat to you! She’s still the perfect wife for your self-insert Sousuke!”

In other words, Tessa in episode 3 is reverted from a budding commander who is starting to stand on her own two feet and take responsibility for her crew back down to cutesy mascot figurehead who sits on the commander’s chair but needs Big Strong Men to do the dirty work for her. I really resent this turn in the story, and perhaps one could argue that that was just Kurz’s opinion, but the problem is, the narrative seems to support his opinion rather than act like he’s just misreading the situation and is underestimating Tessa. If Tessa isn’s a commander capable of dealing with a mutiny (which is what Speck was suggesting when he wanted to mutiny in the first place), then she’s not a capable commander. A mutiny in the midst of hard times is not a joke and not something you can just “pretend” to threaten--you have to be able to back up your threats or they’re useless as threats. If Tessa wasn’t at least willing to shoot Speck in the leg and put him in the brig (even if she isn’t yet ready to kill him), then her threat wasn’t even real and if Speck had half a brain he’d have called her bluff and gone through with his mutiny. 

My, I had more to complain about that than I thought. ;) Sorry about that! On to better things!

Chidori & Sousuke - Fragile Vows

The last five minutes of this episode saved it. With Tokiwa in danger of being blown up and the school in chaos, we return to the tension built from the previous two episodes. It’s a bit annoying that the writers decided to leave us hanging on this plotline for the first 20 minutes; it almost seems manipulative, that in order to get to the good stuff we had to sit through the ridiculously bad early half. But I’ve complained enough about that for one day.

But Sousuke and Chidori always save everything, and even only three minutes of them is enough to rescue a dull episode. They’ve retired to a small shrine to gather their courage for the fight ahead. I cannot stress enough how refreshing this couple is. Their conversation is open and raw and honest in a way few anime/manga couples are allowed to be, and they truly do feel like a genuine couple working through the bugs in both their relationship and themselves together. It’s charming and endearing and heartwrenching, because the pendulum blade is still swinging over their heads, inching ever closer. Yet I just have to applaud in appreciation at how genuine they are with each other. 

Chidori admits many of the things the subtext carried in the first two episodes of FMP!IV: she’s been running from the truth that one day she’ll lose her happy typical life, she’s afraid of herself and her growing abilities, and most importantly, she’s afraid of Sousuke and the unknown facets of him even though she knows she loves him. 

Sousuke, instead of running from Chidori’s feelings or downplaying them or reassuring her, answers her forthrightly with his own feelings. He, too, is afraid of her--she stirs up all sorts of conflict within him and confuses him, even though she is the center of his world and the one who transformed it. But even so, he loves her dearly and wants to protect the world she lives in and the place where she can smile and get angry at him and confuse him and charm him. He even admits the very thing I was sure he wanted in episode one--he wanted to run away with her, to take her away and hide her. But he knows her well, and he loves her too much, and he knows that she’ll never be happy unless he stands by her and protects the world and people she loves. 

And so he makes her a vow that he will fight to protect not only her, but also the world she belongs to. Rather than being willing to destroy the world to keep her safe, as his actions hinted in the first two episodes, he has reassessed his priorities in light of her fear and her reaction to him and has chosen to walk a harder, but ultimately better path--to protect the the things and people she loves, in order to protect her smile as well as her life. Sousuke has realized that there are more important things than merely saving one’s skin--if there is no “home” to come back to, what does one’s skin even matter? 

Chidori agrees to help him find a way to accomplish this, and they agree to work together to keep their mutual world and each other safe. Chidori plays coy a bit, but there’s no question that she’ll do everything in her power to rescue her friends and help Sousuke.

What’s tragic about this scene is that ultimately things are going to go south really fast for these two, despite the promise shared between them. Their vow is a fragile butterfly’s wing that will easily be blown apart in the next strong wind. What they’re about to face is surely going to test them in a way they’ve never been tested before, and they’ll have to enter the fire and emerge stronger from it. 

Still, I just have to bask in how wonderful it is to see a healthy, functioning relationship in anime that isn’t at the end of the story or being forced to have stupid misunderstandings that ultimately don’t matter. These two beautiful souls have significant personality and value differences, and it’s a huge treat to watch them work through those differences with raw honesty and an unyielding love for each other. I just hope they don’t break my heart too much in the coming weeks. In the meantime, I’ll brace for the pain.

Until next time!

[noretreatnancy]

January Reading Wrap-Up

Okay so I want to start typing up a little summary/review for each of the books I read this year, so that maybe some of my followers can find some new titles! This month I read 5 romances, 2 fantasies, 2 non-fiction (a memoir and a recounting of some supposedly true paranormal events), and 1 mystery/thriller. If you’re interested in any of those genres, maybe check out the reviews under the cut :)

Mystery/Thriller

Lock Every Door by Riley Sager

Rating: 2.5/5

This book was a mega disappointment for me. The concept was really intriguing. Jules has just recently been through some life turmoil, losing her job, boyfriend, and home in the same day. She takes a job apartment sitting in a very prestigious historical building with a dark history. Weird occurrences ensue, including strict rules and missing apartment sitters. If you don’t read/watch a lot of mystery/thriller/(even true crime) content and are interested in dabbling, this could be a good choice for you. Unfortunately, I found the hints started dropping a little too early, and the answers were a little too obvious for me to be properly intrigued. I wanted a really slow burn mystery, and this just felt overly rushed for me. 

Non-Fic

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado (memoir)

Rating: 5/5

I don’t usually rate non-fiction, especially memoirs, because it’s hard for me to but a grade on someone’s account of their own life. But holy shit this book blew me out of the water. This is the story of Carmen Maria Machado’s abusive same-sex relationship, and the unique struggles faced by victims of f/f relationship violence. First of all, Machado’s writing is unparralled. Absolutely gorgeous. The way she structures this, all the history and pop culture she ties in keeps it feeling fresh and engaging. The content is of course very heavy, dealing with themes of abuse in many different forms. However, imo these issues are handled with honesty and grace, in a way that never felt gratuitous. 

The Mothman Prophecies by John Keel (paranormal account)

Rating: N/A

Uhm... I hated every second of reading this. I love Mothman. I love reading/watching/listening to content around weird/spooky/paranormal occurrences. I did not love this book. It was so boring. Total slog to read. There was no narrative structure/order of events. I assumed the story would track the beginning of weird reports in Point Pleasant, then follow Keel’s own arrival and investigation of these reports, with his own experiences and background being used to create a coherent story. That’s not what this is. This is a random arrangement of ufo/men in black/strange encounter stories that all fit a similar theme. Not to say no one would enjoy this, or that it doesn’t present interesting theories (it certainly does), just didn’t work for me. If you want a more easily digestible (and by FAR more enjoyable) version of this, check out the Astonishing Legends podcast and their episodes covering this book. 

Fantasy

Black Sun (Book 1, Between Earth and Sky) by Rebecca Roanhorse

Ratung: 4/5

Finally some good fucking food. if you’re looking for some adult fantasy with a new and interesting world, have I got a book for you. This is a multiple POV story following four main characters and two main plotlines. Xiala, a Teek (siren-esque) ship captain hired to transport Serapio (who may or may not be the vessel of an apocalypse god) to the city of Tova, where Naranpa (the Sun Priestess) is trying to navigate a city on the brink of political upheaval. The world is inspired by Pre-Columbian civilizations in the Americas, and the lore/magic/politics are all totally unlike any other fantasy I’ve read. 

Come Tumbling Down (Book 5, Wayward Children) by Seanan McGuire

Rating: 3

This was definitely a solid addition to this series, if not my favorite. The Wayward Children series follows the adventures of children who were able to enter magical worlds, but for a variety of reasons had to leave those worlds. This book most closely aligns with books one and two, almost feeling like a direct sequel to book two with the addition of characters from book three. It didn’t have the emotional impact for me that earlier books did, but there was nothing glaringly bad or wrong here. I would definitely recommend this series to anyone who enjoyed portal/doorway/wardrobe to a magical world stories as a kid. 

Romance

The Bride Test (Book 2, The Kiss Quotient) by Helen Hoang

Rating: 5/5

I love this series. I love these characters. As far as I’m concerned, Helen Hoang cannot fucking miss. This is an excellent sequel to The Kiss Quotient, but can be read on it’s own no problem. This story follows Esme, a Vietnamese woman who is enlisted to travel to the US to woo and marry Khai, an autistic man who isn’t interested in dating (much to the concern of his mother). They’re both dealing with their own issues in this book. Khai is convinced that he can’t feel love, because he’s spent his entire life being told he’s demonstrating it in the wrong way. Esme is dealing with the struggles of a new immigrant, who wants to be able to support her family back in Vietnam (including her young daughter), while also dealing with the pressure to seduce Khai. Shenanigans ensue. These books have the perfect balance of sweetness/sexy appeal/angst. There is a good deal of miscommunication/misunderstanding/secret keeping in here, but it’d ultimately a minor issue in an overall really supportive relationship full of mutual admiration. I will absolutely be reading the third book, and I highly recommend the series overall. 

She Tempts the Duke (Book 1, Lost Lords of Pembrook) by Lorraine Heath

Rating: 3/5

This was fine. I’ve read better historical romance, but I have certainly read worse. This book follows Mary and Sebastian, childhood friends separated by a tragedy. When they were children, Sebastian and his brothers were forced to flee for their lives based on the actions of their power hungry uncle. Now, as adults, they have returned to reclaim their father’s title. Mary, who helped them escape, has just been allowed back into society after a childhood in a convent, and she must work extra hard to maintain her reputation in order to maintain her engagement. I’m sure you can imagine where it goes from there. The story itself is very simple, there were no twists or unexpected turns. The childhood friends aspect could’ve been played up more imo, but I did enjoy the care between the two leads. They really want what’s best for each other. The most interesting aspect for me was the relationship between the brothers, and how they’ve all been changed and hardened by their pasts.

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

Rating: 3.5/5

This was cute! The book follows Marcus (a major actor in a GOT-esque blockbuster fantasy TV show on the rocks) and April (fan of the show). April and Marcus both write fanfiction for the same ship (half of which is Marcus’s own character), and have developed a strong online friendship, both keeping their identities secret. If anyone were to find out that Marcus writes show critical fanfic, he would be in serious legal trouble, not to mention what it would do to his reputation. April has been keeping her fandom life separate from her real life, in order to maintain credibility in her career. However, a new work environment gives her the confidence to be more open about her passions. April posts a cosplay of herself as one of the characters from the show (the other half of their ship). April is plus-size, and her cosplay gets a lot of attention, some of which being internet typical negativity. Marcus sees this hate online, and is so upset by it that he publicly praises her and asks her on a date (not knowing April is his fanfic buddy). Shenanigans ensue. I liked this book a lot, I thought the concept was cute and I loved how sweet Marcus was at all times. The relationship felt really grounded in the friendship/common interests of the characters. There is a lot of misunderstanding/miscommunication in this book, to the point where I did become frustrated, even if it is understandable based on the insecurities of the characters. 

Take A Hint, Dani Brown (Book 2, The Brown Sisters) by Talia Hibbert

Rating: 4/5

Zaf I am in love with you. This is the second book in the series but you can totally read it on its own without the context of the first book. This is the story of Dani (a bi phd student with a no relationship rule) and Zaf (an ex-pro rugby player turned security guard who loves romance novels and deals with extreme anxiety). Zaf and Dani work in the same building on a college campus, and have developed a casual friendship. During a fire drill gone wrong, a video of Zaf rescuing Dani goes viral, with everyone thinking they are a couple. Zaf wants to use the publicity to help his charity organization (helping teen boys learn emotional maturity), Dani wants a no-strings sex arrangement with Zaf, fake-dating ensues. This series is the blueprint for healthy relationships built on mutual respect and admiration, with two characters learning to deal with their own issues with the help and support of their potential romantic partner. If you don’t usually read romance bc of the genre-typical problematic content, consider checking this series out. 

One Foot in the Grave (Book 2, Night Huntress) by Jeaniene Frost

Rating: 3/5

This series follows Cat, a half human/half vampire hybrid who hunts vampires. In this book, set four years after the first, she is the leader of a vampire hunting secret government kill squad. Her ex-lover, the vampire Bones, who trained her and is basically the love of her life, reappears after four years of separation. They are very, very obviously Buffy and Spike (if Spike was a good guy). It was better than the first one. More/better humor, Cat is much less annoying. I liked the relationship dynamics, particularly with Cat and her team. It really kind of negates the big conflict set up at the end of the first book, so that all the relationship drama there feels very pointless. There is a TON of woman/woman hate in this series and it’s so cringey. I try to be lenient bc the books are old and I know that kind of attitude was common back then, but oh my god is it gross and weird. There is literally ONE female character Cat views in a positive lights, and she literally disappears into thin air 1/4 of the through the book. I wish the romance wasn’t so rushed (a complaint I had in the first book as well). If you like paranormal romance and don’t mind a pretty dated read, this series could be fun for you. 

Other

Rooms by Lauren Oliver

Rating: 3/5

I have no idea what genre to call this (literary fiction?? kind of??). It’s a ghost story and the story of a pretty messed up family dealing with their issues. The writing is really pretty, but the story feels kind of without substance. Like there are multiple POVs (the two ghosts haunting the house, the mother of the family, the sister and the brother, the niece), but none of them really struck any cords with me. I never felt emotionally connected to anyone. It was a really easy read, I enjoyed the writing. The concept was interesting. It just felt a little hollow and pointless to me, which sounds really harsh considering I by no means hated it. 

[lisiczka-zorua]

Main Bio

Name: Zoe Rúna Edith Nightfall

Hometown: Gniewkowo/Toruń

Age: 19

Sex: Female

Height: 0,28m

Species: Indian flying fox (Pteropus giganteus)

Appearance: She looks pretty much like other Indian flying foxes. Sometimes she temporarily dyes the fur around her neck to an electric blue/turquoise color. Her eyes have a dark magenta color. Zoe never leave house without her glasses and her three red earrings.

Living place: Zootopia (The Rainforest District)

Occupation: Student/Reptile&Spider Breeder

Family: Agnieszka and Aleksander Nightfall (parents), little sister Michaela and big brother (actually cousin) Robert. All of them live in Poland.

Hobby: This “little” bat is a big bookworm. She reads everything she can get her wings on, but she prefers fantasy over other genres. Zoe also loves all types of mythology, as she kinda studies it, with Norse mythology in the first place. When she doesn’t read anything in her free time, she watches a lot of movies and listens to music. Very often, Zoe loses herself in the music and plays it so loud that angry neighbors come knock on her door. She feels very embarrassed and kindly apologizes. She not only listens to music, she also sings. In her past, she was attending music school. Unfortunately, because of a panic attack in front of the big crowd on stage, she must give up her dreams of becoming a musical actress. Even after this, Zoe still practices singing and playing the violin, but never performs for anyone. Since her childhood, this bat has an enormous interest in reptiles and spiders. When she was 10, her cousin convinced Zoe’s parents to let her have her first snake, a little corn snake that she named Tom. When it comes to stuff she loves, Zoe becomes biggest fangirl of all time. Remember this thing about listening music so loud that is annoys others? Yeah it is not only one times when this bat is loud. Zoe is huge gamer girl and plays every kind of games. Computer games, card games, board games? She is really crazy about that stuff. Also this girl plays a lot of RPG session where she loves to be a Dungeon Master. One more thing she adores is flying high above the ground. Everything seems so small then and she doesn’t feel so small herself.

Personality: When alone or surrounded only by strangers, she is really shy and silent, usually walking with her headphones on, cut off from the world. However, if she is with her friends, Zoe automatically changes by 180°. She becomes more confident, happy and easy-going. Most of her relationships with friends are love-hate rivalries when they exchange sarcastic comments, trying to beat each other in arguments or small competitions. She is very open for new acquaintanceship, but only if the other side makes a move first. Don’t misunderstand though! Even if Zoe is very shy around strangers, that doesn’t mean she can’t stand up for herself. She hates injustice and seeing how stronger bully weaker. This bat will not stand by when something bad (in her opinion) happens. Usually, she tries to solve problems peacefully but… Yeah, an even bigger problem is her short fuse. And when she snaps? Oh boy… “Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?” If not, then now is your chance. Imagine a furious ball of claws, fangs, fur and wings. This lady doesn’t care then if she should or shouldn’t fight. She just attacks with all her fury, even if the enemy is a lot bigger than her. Because of her fear of performance, she has a lot of self-doubt. She also never shows that she feels bad and very often lies about little things. However, in the end, Zoe is very caring for what is close to her and she quickly creates a strong bond. If that bond is broken, she falls into a depressed state for a long time. Last problem with her is that Zoe is very ambitious and very often tries to do more than she is actually capable off. Plus, she is very messy person and that always makes things harder for her.

Bio:

~General Story~

Zoe was born in Poland, but a lot of her family lives in India from where the Indian flying fox comes. Her parents were also both born in Poland, so Zoe views herself as a polish girl and has a strong connection with her country. Yet, her great-great-grandmother Rúna passed down some of Indian things and thanks to that,  Zoe could almost fluently speak Hindi for some time. When Rúna passed away because of cancer, Zoe was so sad that she tried to get rid of her grief by forgetting completely about her great-great-grandmother. Since then, her Hindi has become a little rusty and she can’t speak it anymore, but she can kinda understand it. It all happened before Zoe turned 7 years old. And for these 7 years, you could tell that this little bat was… a rather energetic child. Her mother worked at kindergarten and she taught Zoe’s class. Zoe never was too much of a social kid. She learned writing and reading rather fast, because she just liked it, but that made some other children look at her weirdly. That was a cause of some bad behavior by Zoe. Here’s one example. She once came back from kindergarten with a big black dot stick to her shirt for bad behavior and when her parents asked Zoe why she got this, she calmly and with full satisfaction said: “I spit Andrzej in the face.” Even with such behavior, she has her group of friends and she was pretty happy. Eventually, when she started her school, she became a little outcast and yet, she became a lot more calm. Classes bored her, because she mostly learned basic stuff so fast that she didn’t have much to do during lessons. Usually, she’d start reading then and teachers didn’t like that very much. Her love for book, studying and her rather short height were most of the reasons for bullying her at school. Sometimes, she just couldn’t take it anymore and just snaps. One time, some male weasel from her class didn’t want to stop bothering her during breaks. He always followed her and said: “You are not allowed to read.”. Zoe couldn’t take it anymore, so she just hit him with book she was holding in her wings that moment. That was “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” and that thing is huge, so it hurt a lot. That was just one situation and there were plenty more. Once, she almost got in lot of trouble when she was defending her friend. At the canteen, she stabbed a wolf with a fork when he was aggressive towards her friend. Things in 6th grade were so bad that her mental state started to show in her physical appearance too when she lost some of her fur because of the stress. Fortunately, Zoe graduated school with the highest marks possible, even with her mental breakdown in 6th grade.The music school that Zoe attended was a big help for her mental state, as she could do what she loved and nobody judged her for that. She also had a very nice instrument teacher that helped Zoe raise her confidence a little higher. Middle school was rather normal and a pretty happy time for the female bat. Because she lived in little town, moving from one school to another wasn’t that hard, as the same mammals that were with her in her old school, were in that school as well. The good news for her was that most of her not so nice classmates were in sport class, so she didn’t need to have any contact with them. Months were passing and everything was good except for one thing… After years of friendship, Zoe started to remark that her best friend wasn’t as much of a friend as she thought. The relationship that she had with that mammal was toxic, abusive and totally messed up. The ginger bat, with help of her other, real friends, found the strength to end this friendship with the toxic mammal. She sometimes still feel guilty for it, even if it wasn’t her fault. After graduating from middle school with great grades, she start her math-IT-class in one of the best high school in Toruń. That was also around the time when she stopped attending music school. After lot of hard work and surprise, she managed to graduate school with decent and someone could even say good grades. After that, she chose to study outside the country and move from Poland to the USA, even if she felt a little homesick immediately after leaving her family house. She bought a little apartment from the money she had earned from her business and after that, she started her main study.

~Additional yet important story~

When Zoe was 10, she got her first snake. A corn snake which she named “Tom”. That’s how her breeding hobby/business started. Years pass and Zoe learned more and more about reptiles, not just snakes. She also started to breed spiders. When she was 18, she opened her little reptile shop and started to sell some of reptiles that she had bred. However, she was always very careful about to whom she sold her little friends. Before any transaction is made, Zoe must be 100% sure that her little scaly babies go to a good home. When she moved to the USA, she have enough money to move her little business with her.

Notes:

*Zoe can, like any other bats, fly and she loves doing that.

*Her second and third name are named after her great-great-grandmothers from both sides.

*She is crazy about bubble tea, especially with tapioca.

*Unlike others of her kind she likes to eat citrus fruits, but it sometimes makes her sick if she eat too much.

*She’s had her 3 earnings since she was 8 years old.

*Knows 5 languages on different levels, but is mostly capable of understanding them. Now she’s trying to learn her 6th language.

*Zoe is short-sighted, but she could live without her glasses. She only wears them to not worsen the state of her eyes.

*Hates bat stereotypes and hisses furiously when she hears one.

*Her favourite pet is 21ft long reticulated python that she named “Sunrise”.

*Hates to be in charge of the group.

*Loves to stay up late at night and then she looks like death during her study.

*Her relation with her younger sister is rather rough and these two just can’t understand each other.

*Hates most types of sports, but there are few exceptions. When she wanted to have good grades for P.E. at her old schools, Zoe tried some sports and found them very fun. For quite a time, the bat did gymnastics, dancing and ice skating. However, it was never professional and she did it just for building confidence just like when she was taking lessons at the music school. From time to time, Zoe likes to do little parkour around town. She also dances quite often, usually when she sings.

*Her favourite kind of games are platform games and J-RPGs.

*When she takes part in RPG-sessions, she usually is a Dungeon Master. When she isn’t, she plays as a Rogue, Ranger or Bard.

Ginger Lizards - Reptiles Shop

Zoe runs her own little business: A reptile shop named “Ginger Lizards”. It is located not so far from the middle of Savannah Central. Zoe found a very good place for a decent price, even if she had been waiting for a great location for a long time. Only two mammals work at the shop - Zoe herself and one of her best friends: A jaguar named Altair. He is huge help, especially when it comes to bigger snakes. When you enter the shop, it is your typical reptile shop: some shelves with food, terrariums and other things for reptile keepers. Some terrariums are put in the holes in the walls. In them, you can watch different kinds of snakes, geckos and other lizards. The whole room is set up as a rainforest and monsoon forest biome. In the back of the store are two counters, one for small and medium sized mammals and one for big ones. Both sellers help all kinds of customers, but they feel more comfortable with their own counter. Behind the counters, there is a door that leads to a back room, where all bred reptiles are kept. When customers have decided to buy a pet (after a lot of questions from Zoe, like if they are aware what responsibility it demands and if they have a good living space for keeping such a pet), they could walk along and see all scaly creatures. With help of the two reptile breeders, customers choose a pet and get all additional info that is needed to take care of it. The shop doesn’t have many different species yet, but it is still expanding. For now, you could buy the following species:

Red bamboo rat snake

Diamond Python

Boa constrictor constrictor/Boa constrictor imperator

Corn Snake

Ball Python

Leopard gecko

Crested gecko

[yugyeom-baby-universe]

Relax - Baekhyun

     “Ah, I can’t do this anymore!”

     There was rage hidden behind your tone; heat was rising from your seated position, and touching the root of your mouth. Your hands were quick to launch the pen that was in your hand, across the home. As the thud her echoed throughout the silent place, what could be heard was a pause of a TV, followed by beckoning footsteps. It only took a minute for your boyfriend to make his way down the hall and poke his head out from behind the pillar. 

  “Is.. everything okay in here?” There was a sign of worry that carried through his hands, but also a sense of humor hidden behind his tone. 

  Your eyes followed the direction of his voice, landing on the male that was just a few steps away. A source of a chill was soon to carry up his spine, when your cold, icy, blazing eyes landed on the likes of him. He gulped as a soft smile fell onto his features. “Want a hug?”

  “Baekhyun, I’m not in the mood. Cut the jokes.” 

   Telling him exactly how you were feeling, wasn’t anything you had to do. As long as he had been around, he could read your emotion just by glancing at your face. It was a specialty he had after being together for a year now. Over the course of you two being together, there would be occasional times where you would stress, have mental break downs and even beat yourself up on outcomes that had nothing to do with you. Baekhyun hated it, with a passion. He hated going to your place and listen to you complain about all the work that you had to get done, complain about how rough your boss was on you, and even now, he hated it much more.

  There would be times where you didn’t want to be bothered and it would sometimes even get to Baekhyun as a whole. He would usually leave you to your struggle and have you deal with it your way, but not today. He was going to bother you, no matter how much you glare at him or give him the silent treatment. Taking up the open space right beside you, he leaned forward on his knees, propping his elbows onto of them, as his face was just inches away from yours.

  “What’s bothering you, my Ice Queen?”

  At that moment, you wanted to be alone, wanting to calculate through your thoughts but unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be that way. Baekhyun always made those simple things, impossible. You couldn’t even stay mad at him, knowing that he was just trying to be the good boyfriend that he is. “My boss is having me do all this paperwork in ONE night, and if it’s not done by tomorrow.. I can possibly lose my job.”

  “What an asshole!”

   A look of shock was expressed, when hearing the swear word leave from your innocent boyfriend’s mouth. “Sorry.” He briefly said afterwards, when feeling your eyes burn through the side of his head. “I can’t finish all this paperwork by tonight, but I need this job.”

  Baekhyun watched as your leg twitched with each movement, and the way you would raise your hand up to rub at your sore neck, every once in a while. There were bags hoisted under your eyes, which could easily be the solution to your lost of sleep. He didn’t bother to tell you to take at least a catnap, knowing that you wouldn’t even listen.

  “You know what, maybe I should quit..”

  Oh no. There were lots of things that Baekhyun could list about you, but one of them were definitely not one of a quiter. That could never be. Not with you, anyway. “Babe, look-”

  He reached out in front of you, closing the laptop at a slow rate. His left hand, going to push back the notepad that was near the end of the table, as his right took in your hand by surprise. The contact that was being issued was something that could never be initiative, because of your nature and his busy schedule. If it had to be explained and directly spoken of, the two never had the chance to do things that couples would do.

  At the very least, Baekhyun didn’t work as much as he use to but you were still the busy person that you was when the two of you first met. A chaste kiss would be made every now and then, and even sometimes a little bit of cuddling when the two would coincidentally fall asleep near each other, once in a while but it was nothing more than that. You were actually quite surprised when he didn’t decide to break up with you. It was even as though that the more you two avoided one another, the more he fell into comfort with you. You didn’t want things to be as they were but it couldn’t have been helped and there wasn’t a path that you wanted to choose from.

   Shifting slightly, to be pulled up to the comfort of Baekhyun, you were met with confusion. His hands were holding onto your smaller ones, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back side of your hand. It was warm, comforting, and everlasting. It was kind of weird, and unusual but at the same time, it was worth while. Your eyes traveled from the soothing nature of his thumbs, panning at the warm look in his eyes. He had a soft smile plastered on his face, as he searched through the envies of your eyes, before softly saying,

 Relax.

      At any given time, that would be something that would cause you to flip but when it left from his mouth, it was more of a warm reassurance. It was almost as though you had walked through a variety of an over escalated feel of ecstasy, another portal that was completely different from the nightmare that you were experiencing— matter of fact, you couldn’t even remember what the nightmare was about of why it was taking a huge affect on you. 

 “Y/n.”

  Snapping out of the heavy daze that was keeping you isolated, your mind was wavered when the boy’s smile grew even wider. “Wow, did that really work? I wish I would have done this nine months ago!”

   Even in a serious situation, he still found a way to make things a little easy, and even made the atmosphere be reminded that there were always good sides to everything that made life hard. His outgoing nature and reassuring care was enough to bring you to a sense of understanding. He was the only one who truly cared. Even when you were being a snappy bitch and giving him a hard time of living the way he wanted, he never left your side. When you ignored his texts, his calls, his needing of hanging out, he still sat by your side, despite all of that. You loved him for that, you really did, and there would have been nothing in the world that would ever change your feelings for him.

  “Baekhyun?”

   His facial expression was suddenly turned to a hope of want and a challenge of understanding her more and more. “Hm?”

  “I love you, I truly do.”

   His eyes searched the reps of yours as he tried to find the common understanding of seriousness that was behind your words. He had never heard you use the ‘L’ word and it was even uncommon for you to have some sort of affection when it came to him. 

  “Y-you.. love me?” He was impressed, amazed and astonished with the work of art that was being made. The look of happiness that was founded on his face, caused you to smile from ear to ear. To see him happy, was one of your work’s desire. You were already thinking solely on how to show him the love that you been holding back, afraid to be hurt by anybody with a clear look of punishment. You even did the one thing that you weren’t always use to doing, which was picking up a magazine and reading statuses and articles on the definition of a perfect couple. Baekhyun had done everything he could, to show that he was serious, so why couldn’t you do the same thing?

   Grabbing a hold of your bottom lip, with your top row of teeth, you nervously looked down at your hands. “What’s wrong? Did I mess up? Should I try it again?” Baekhyun was beginning to get worried, thinking that what he did was wrong and out of league and that he shouldn’t have initiated anything as careless as that, even when you were experiencing an emotion shock. 

   “Baekhyun.”

  The stern tone was enough to stop him from his questions and panicking and even calm him down to the point where the only place he looked, was in your eyes. “I want to.. take this relationship to another level.”

  “You want to actually sit in the same room as me?”

   You could tell it was joke, but even so, it had a deeper meaning to it and it was one that could easily be thought of, because of the way you were acting and the way things just played out to be. “Sorry.”

  “No no, I was kidding, I wasn’t trying to-”

  “I’m sorry.”

   Your eyes began to water and the look of worry began to warm throughout Baekhyun’s face, as he got lost in the depths of time. Despite with the situation that has been crawling between the two, it was nothing that could change the way he felt about you. His love was just as strong and to him, that’s all that ever really mattered. Despite the slight misunderstandings between you two. Though there were times where he wish he could do more. To hold you, kiss you, breathe you but it wasn’t anything that he dwelled on because he wanted to come off, as respectful. 

  Though, in the current moment, everything seemed just about right. The moment, the feeling, everything felt right, there was nothing that could possibly do much more than change the way everything was being notified as. Without second warnings, his hands were masked at your face, holding you as though it was a mission. When his lips ghosted over the path of your own, it was as though you were experiencing something that was way more stressful than work itself, it was intimacy. Something that you never even bothered to deal with, but there could always be a beginning to something.

  Pushing yourself forward, you allowed his soft lips to wander through the open of yours. It was slow, passionate, meaningful but as the time went by, it was beginning to move past the stage of meaning. The kiss got rougher, more urgent and things were beginning to pick up a pace of needing. The next moment, your back was met with the leather underneath you and Baekhyun was propped above you. He was panting, from the exotic level of kissing. 

  “Are you sure about this?” He asked, with a hint of care.

  A simple nod was all he needed, before he leaned back down and took in your lips with one sweep. This time, there was more tongue involved and more touching. His hands roamed down your side, down the smooth surface of your legs and making it’s way back up to hitch up the base of your gown. 

    His mouth prodded your lips, asking for permission to skid past the passage of blockage, which you gladly accepted. His tongue roamed places that you never could have thought that could be surfaced through. A light moan was immediately swallowed through coverage of Baekhyun’s mouth. His bottom was moving in circular motion, again your lower area, having you surprised with what you were feeling. Baekhyun could even truthfully admit that the moment that was being processed, was something that he long waited for, but chose to hold back. 

   The hardness that poked out, was enough to have you staring up at Baekhyun with questioning being. “B-baek?”

  “Hm?” He hummed, his mouth working at your neck, sucking and biting with a hint of tendency. His tongue would dart out every now and then, to have a taste of the meal that was laid out in front of him, that was rightfully his. Another moan was reciprocated from you but this one actually being heard.

 “I feel something.”

 Your confusing choice of words, was enough to have him pausing in his stead and giving you a look of mislead. “Huh?”

 Leaving from a the warmth of his eyes, your eyes traveled down to the space between your bodies as he was soon to follow in your lead of judgement. When catching glimpse of what was really bothering you, he sighed allowing a smile to crawl it’s way on your features. “It’s a called a boner, babe.” 

  It was a surprise to you, of the way everything was playing out and to the instant of what you were getting yourself into. “Did it feel weird?”

  Come to think of it, it didn’t seem to bother you in the way that things would usually bug you. It felt kind of good, in a way that you wanted more. “Not really..”

  To hear your response as something else other than the vulgar language that you would usually use when he got too attached and clingy, he was taken back by the gesture. A small tug was formed at the corner of his lips, as he slightly did the movement once again. “So you like when I do.. this?” When his bottom half came in contact with you, it was almost like a new urge of need hit you like a bolt of lightening. Your top row of teeth, came into strong contact with your bottom lip as Baekhyun continued to grind his lower half into your body.

  “Baekhyun..” You breathed, hearing him groan slightly, as his mouth reconnected to the side of your neck, putting the final touches on his piece of art. “Oh my..” You stood steady deep breaths, trying to keep a calm mind and peaceful soul towards the pleasure that was being felt throughout your body. Baekhyun took his slow time to slide his hand down the side of your leg, sending goosebumps throughout your body. He moved it towards the center of your underwear, sliding his hand up and down the fabric. You were quick to pull away from the male, giving him a warning glare. “Relax.” How could you possibly go against him when he was being soothing and promising with everything that he was saying? 

   Allowing him to continue what he first initiated, his hand slid down the entrance of your underwear, rubbing over your area, as you moaned out loud. A hand was quick to retreat to your mouth as he smirked, willingly. “No no, let it be heard. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

  Taking hint of the note that was spoken out to you, the energy that was raising through your body, was finally being able to roam loose. His fingers prodded at the area and used his index finger to spread your lips, and rub your clit. That one flick enough to have you a moving mess as she repeated the step, over and over.

  Seeing you all laid out under him, was just the thing to needed to grow impatient. “God, you are so wet.”

  “Yah, don’t say things like that. It’s weird, and I will beat the-”

  “Yeah yeah, I love you too.”

  A smile was pulled to the surface of your face, actually glad to have someone like Baekhyun around. It always felt good to actually know that someone care and wanted you around. It was just difficult to show the care, when life was always in the way. His hand slid down to your hole, pushing his middle finger into the opening. It was a weird stretch, as the next thing you felt was the pressure that was entering you from below. Your mouth fell open in amazement as Baekhyun lips had captured your mouth in one swift movement, swallowing your moans as a whole. The vibration of your lips setting off against his, was the point that Baekhyun knew that he couldn’t take anymore waiting. Pushing his self up, he sat on his hind legs quickly dealing with the strain that was going to be the death of him. His hands quickly worked at his belt, kicking off his pants and tossing his underwear with it. 

  Watching in astonishment, you never even noticed the thing he had in between his legs, counting back to the times where you guys were cuddled up to one another.  The look in his eyes, was enough to calm you done and soothe you and have you knowing that nothing was going to happen to you and that everything was going to be alright.

  His hands were patiently patched at your hip as he gave you a confirmation look. A small nod you did was the green light for him to slowly slide your underwear down your legs and allowing it to fall into the pile that consisted of his pants and boxers. He pushed your skirt up, allowing for your bottom half to be in full view. There was a slight glint in his eyes, mesmerized by the way you were in full sight to him. Scooting closer to you, he grabbed both of your legs, wrapping them around his waist as he lined his throbbing member up to your expectant hole. The tip rubbing up and down your lips, leaving you with slight pants leaving your mouth.

  “Tell me when it’s becoming too much for you, okay?” 

   Laying your head back against the couch, you closed your eyes and braced yourself for the new adventure that was about to take place. Baekhyun carefully laid his hand on your stomach, moving his hips forwards to slide in you at a slow pace. Trying his best to not hurt you and do nothing but have you feel the relaxation that he planned. It wasn’t hurting, and you were actually relieved that you weren’t feeling any of the pain, that most girls experienced. You had read lots of articles before on girl’s first times and it was nothing as they explained. Maybe it was because of the slickness that you were producing and the gentleness that was being used on you and—

  “Holy shit!” 

   Your language had surprised Baekhyun as he stopped moving. His eyes searched your face for an explanation that would clearly help him comprehend what was going on. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

   You couldn’t even muster up the courage to tell the male exactly how you were feeling, as a single tear slipped down your cheek. “K-keep going.” The soft whisper had Baekhyun second guessing as he gulped and continued to push past the barrier that was keeping him out. At a slow pace, he began to rock his hips back and forth, creating a steady pace. It was painful, something that you couldn’t even bother to imagine, though after just a few more thrust, it began to subside and nothing for pleasure could be felt. 

  “Ah..”

  Baekhyun groaned with every thrust, as his hands were rested beside your head as he looked down at the space between your bodies and watched how he entered and exited you. The side alone was enough to have you raging on to continue, turning him on even more. “Babe..” He groaned, looking down in your eyes as one of his hands reached to pull the fabric of your shirt up just enough that he had the ability to fondle your boobs through your lace bra. It only took another few minutes for you to be a moaning mess under him. Another side that he had never even thought of before, was showing, and he didn’t even complain. The profanity, and engaging words, caught him off guard. Oh my god, yes, don’t stop. 

  When you felt him pull away all together, you sighed as he turned you over on your hands and knees, and pulled your hips in the direction of his. Your head was propped up on the arm rest, as he slowly slid back into you. 

  It was almost as though the current position was more satisfying then the last. Your toes curled and you almost shouted by the mixed emotions you were feeling. He thrust at a high rate and further altitude as his hands were tightly gripping your sides, slamming you back into him. The sound of your skin slapping together, echoed throughout the quiet apartment, leaving you to moaning out even louder than before. He began to pant, and his eyes began to water from the pleasure that was surging through his veins. 

   “Oh god, you got tight.”

   “I-i feel weird!”

    Baekhyun knew what was to come next, as he picked up the pace, “Come!” For the first time in forever, you listened to a command that someone had told you to do, as your released around him, having him call out your name in shock. He pulled out, as he sat back on the couch, with his head hanging off the back, trying to recollect his voice. You laid in the same spot for a minute before turning to look at the male. “Baek?”

  He raised his head and smiled widely at you before pulling your face towards him. He kissed you lovingly as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “Are you feeling better?” You nodded slightly, as your leg brushed against something, that was below you. Your eyes lowered to Baekhyun’s abdomen area, taking in the hint of his friend. “But I see you aren’t alright. You didn’t come?”

  “...No.”

  Taking a deep breath, you suddenly got off the couch and dropped down in front of Baek. His eyes widened as he gave you a worried look, “What are you doing?”

  A smile tugged at your lips, as you winked. 

   “Just relax.”

~ Admin Rosa

[blameblamebts]

Just One Date

Request: anything kim namjoon or kim seokjin maybe like a lil fluff scenario of a cute date perhaps? i have coffee shop, bus stop or rainy day date vibes hehe :)

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

A/N: I literally wrote this in two hours, but I’m happy with how it came out. Starting the new year off with Rap Mon because this boy needs all love. I hope that you like it! Enjoyyy :)

gif cr.

  “Just one date”

She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the door frame.

    “Uncle, I have no time to go on dates.” She sighed shaking her head.

The older man frowned, looking back at his son for any help, but the kid lounged back laughing at something on television. Rolling his eyes he turned back to his niece.

    “Just meet the guy once, please.”

    “Why should I?” She was stood straight now, a slight hint of annoyance in her expression.

She had simply come over to help her cousin with a project he claimed only she could help him with, but here she is, being bombarded with such a request.

    “Y/N! He was a student of mine back in the day and I can’t lose a talent like him. I would’ve set him up with my own kid but unfortunately I don’t have any daughters.” He frowned, glaring at his son.

    “Back in the day!—” She almost screamed.

    “Exactly how old is this guy?!”

Her uncle began shaking his head.

     “No, no. You’re misunderstanding, he’s only 27. I meant back when I still used to write. He was a student of mine and I told him to get back to me when his dreams come true. He now works under a very famous corporation, writing for movies even.” Her uncle laughs.

     “How romantic of him to actually comeback…” She mumbled sarcastically.

Sighing she looked over her uncle’s shoulder at the younger boy on the sofa.

     “Jungkook what the hell did you need help with.”

Jungkook waved his hand in the air, his eyes still glued on the glowing television screen.

     “I don’t know, Dad told me to call you over.”

The older man almost face-palmed, cursing his son under his breath, while she raised a brow at him.

     “Just go. It’s just one date. Besides you’ve been single for years.” Jungkook states while she glares at him.

    “No.”

…

    “I can’t believe I actually ended up saying yes.” She whined into the phone.

The male’s voice on the other end could only laugh, making Y/N frown even more.

     “Do you at least know how he looks?” He asked, a hint of a chuckle still in his tone.

Y/N rolled her eyes, crossing the road, her heels clicking against the concrete, her eyes stuck on the cafe they’re meeting in.

     “Do you really think your father showed me a picture.” She groans.

All Jungkook could do is laugh at the other end, and it ticks her off because it wasn’t helping.

     “Why did I even say yes, I don’t have time for men in my life right now.”

     “You and I both know you need a boyfriend, you lonely cat lady.”

She made a face, getting closer to the place she was supposed to meet the man her uncle claimed was “perfect”.

     “I don’t even have a cat.” She scoffed.

     “It’s not long before you get one. Then two. Then thr—”

     “Bye.” She almost laughs, although it was just to see if it could calm down her racing heart. Why was she even so nervous?

When she steps in, she’s awed by her surroundings. Not bad for a first date. It’s almost like a restaurant, and she doesn’t know what to do because she’s never been to this part of the city. It’s when a waitress finally asks her, that she’s able to meet the ‘oh so famous Kim Namjoon’ who her uncle could compliment for years and still not run out of compliments. He’s sitting already, eyes reading some sort of book, and she rolls her eyes because, of course. His back faces to her and the waitress gestures towards with her arms.  

     “Thank you.” She smiled, and she wonders why her voice had just sounded so sweet.

Clearing her throat she stands across the table, and Namjoon looks up surprised. It’s finally seeing him, she realizes that he is...very good looking.

    “Y/N? H—Hi.” He closes the novel, quick to take a stand.

    “You’re early.” He glances at his watch.

A smile forms on her lips.

    “Well, so are you.” She sheds her coat, and it’s enough to made him look away flustered.

Like how her uncle had described her, Namjoon is a gentleman and helps her into the comfort of her seat, ultimately sitting so himself, and asking for the menu.

     “This place is so fancy, I’ve never been to such a place.” She glances around.

Just by looking at his face she knows what he would say and answers before he asks.

     “I like it though.”

He relaxes and looks back at the menu. After ordering their desired drinks and pastries, they share brief introductions as they wait.

    “So, did my uncle set you up too? Or…” She trails on.

He nods, but still smiles.

    “I’ve seen you before, you seem like a nice girl. So it didn’t take a lot of effort to convince me.” He chuckles.

His words catch her completely off guard, a sudden feeling of guilt forming in her heart.

     “I was very hesitant if I have to be honest.” She confesses, and he nods in understanding.

     “It makes sense, I’m probably as equivalent as a stranger to you right now.”

     “Hopefully, that will change today.” She bites back, and yet again they both blush.

A few more minutes later the drinks are set in front, the desserts are here, and they indulge in a conversation. It’s when he starts talking about his parents that she realizes how dreamy he looked. Her eyes studying his smile, the way his brown hair is styled just perfectly. She noticed the deep dimples that would form in his cheeks every time he broke into a grin or even a laugh.She stared at him, a warm feeling surrounding the atmosphere as her cheeks melted into the skin of her palms, eyes relaxing. If someone had asked her what they were talking about, she would probably hesitate because of how quick he was to connect one thing to another, jumping from topic to topic, yet somehow it all made sense. Maybe that was what made him become such a great writer, his words were able to make the listener feel relaxed.

     “Are you bored.” He finally asked, noticing how she had propped her arm on the table as she stared at him talk.

Blinking back a few times she began shaking her head almost profusely.

     “No!—”

It’s his low chuckle that makes her clear her throat, palms sweaty all over again.

    “I mean…you have a very soothing voice. I could listen to you talk forever.” She finally confessed.

His smile was quick to fade, shy, before he looked at the now warm cup of coffee, though some steam can be visibly letting out into the air. Hiding behind the cup, he took a sip, an attempt to steady his racing heart. She did the same, trying to hide her own smile. Her brain thanking her uncle for this opportunity.

     “I should’ve asked earlier, how did you get interested to become a writer.”

She noticed the way he leaned in, a visible grin on his face as his eyes lit up. She guessed it was a conversation he was willing to have.

     “Well, I’ve always been surrounded by books—my mother is a librarian you see—and somewhere along the way I was just...inspired?” He chuckled.  

She nodded, taking a small sip of her coffee again.

     “I think I’ve been writing for almost all my life—excluding my adolescent year of course.” He grinned.

She nodded.

     “So what did you write.”

He had to think for a moment, trying to recall back to his youth.

     “Well, sometimes poem, fan-fiction. I’d throw in some songs here and there.” He noticed the way she raised a brow. So she liked songs.

     “You wrote...fan-fiction?”

It was his turn to raise his brows, except they were that of surprise.

     “Oh my god, do you still have a blog with your stories collected and such.” She laughed.

He shook his head immediately.

     “That’s a dark past I don’t want to indulge in. Besides it’s very cringe worthy.” He sipped on his coffee, avoiding eye contact.

     “You totally still have your blog up, don’t you?”

     “No I don’t.” He replied as soon as the words left her lips, earning a giggle from her end.

     “I’m very interested.” She smiled.

The way he looked at her, made her heart skip a beat, and she had to control herself from gasping out loud.

     “I mean—in the fan-fiction.” Her fingers tucked in strands of hair, as she looked away, blushing.

The rest of the afternoon was spent walking the city, riding public transportation in the chill of the weather, with Namjoon showing her around his favorite shops in the area. By the time evening was coming to an end, and people began wishing each other “good nights”, the two had already eaten dinner at one of Namjoon’s favorite restaurant, though it was a little expensive for Y/N’s liking. But what do you expect from a best selling author who writes for movies and films?

Walking side by side, now under the night sky, it seemed as if they ran out of things to talk about on their first meeting. Spending almost six hours with that man that she had told her uncle “don’t expect me to like him”, she regretted her words because she seemed to have judged the book by it’s cover a little too quickly. Snickering at how ironic that sounded in her mind, Namjoon glances over.

    “What’s so funny?” He questions.

She shakes her head, though the smile from her lips doesn’t vanish.

    “I feel like I’ve told you everything about myself.” She laughed.

He nodded in agreement. Silence surrounds the duo, however it doesn’t last long, with his cellphone almost blaring in the quiet of the night. Glancing over at her, she smiled and he slides it to pickup, comfortable enough to speak with her still by her side.

    “Now?” His voice is almost a whine, but of surprise as well.

She stays mum next to him, fingers playing with the buttons on her coat sleeve,  both taking slow steps on the concrete of this almost empty sidewalk. He sighs.

     “I’ll see you in a little bit.” His voice is laced with disappointment.

He looks over at her, sad eyes pointing the now dead phone, and she simple shrugs.

     “Duty calls.” She smiled.

He sighs yet again, stuffing the device back into the depths of his coat pocket. They walk for another few minutes sharing brief words here and there, until they stop at the end, where they will finally part, him heading to one way of the city, and her heading the other.

     “I had a...wonderful day.” He finds the right words, a genuine smile taking place on his lips.

She nodded as well, a grin on her own face.

     “I would like to see you again? Just one date?” He smiles, his voice laced with sudden  nervousness, as he looks away flustered.

     “I thought we were already on a date.” She raises a brow.

He breaks into a laugh, a dimpled smile spreading wide on his plump lips, making Y/N look away this time, a warm heat forming on her own cheeks.

They really don’t have the desire to part, both rooted in their place. Namjoon breathes into the night air, slowly stepping in, making her slowly gaze up at his almost towering form.

    “Can...I kiss you?” His voice is shy, but still a whisper.

She can’t help the smile that breaks onto her lips, slowly nodding. She had wondered all evening what his lips felt like if she had to be honest. They were cool thanks to tonight’s chilly weather, yet soft and plump, making her melt right into his arms. He chuckles at her reaction, her fingers tugging him closer to her, to kiss him the way she had wanted to from the moment she saw him.They pull apart, noses and lips red from both the cold and the contact, laughing he bites his lips, still tasting her lips on his, and she looks away flustered.

    “Shit, I really don’t want to go.” He mumbles, and she nudges him.

    “Go! It’s probably important.”

He groans, earning her laughter. It’s almost forever after that he finally starts pulling away from her body, steps walking backwards as he begins to wave.

    “I’ll text—no! I’ll call!” He’s almost yelling.

She starts nodding, her wide grin never leaving her lips.

    “Just one more date Y/N!— I’ll definitely call”

She laughs and nods yet again, until soon he’s disappearing and she sighs, content on how she sent her day—rather who she spent it with.

…

When she’s stepping into her apartment, she notices the familiar shoes on the rack and rolls her eyes.

    “I’m seriously going to change my passcode.” She yells into the apartment.

The television is playing in the living room when she walks in, with Jungkook lounging on the sofa, he looks up at her with a grin.

    “How was it?!” He ask right away, eyes curious with answers.

She smiles, but quickly shakes it off with a shrug.

    “It was… okay.” Walking in she sits next to him.

Jungkook studies her for a moment before laughing.

    “You totally like him!”

This time however, she can’t hold back the grin and covers her face as she nods.

    “Holy shit.” Jungkook is surprised.

    “How did this happen—the cold-hearted Y/N actually likes someone.” His tone is of both astoundment and a teasing laugh.

    “Shut up.” She smacks his arm.

Her cellphone vibrates and Jungkook looks at the notification on the lockscreen. Namjoon’s name clear on the surface. Glancing over at her, he raises his brows up and down in a funny manner before laughing. She laughs as well, but pushes him back, before reaching for the device and taking a stand. Her body walking out the living room.

    “I’m going to be dad’s forever favorite child for blessing him with such good news.” Jungkook yells, and she rolls her eyes because he was his father’s only child.

Her fingers are quick to read Namjoon’s text, and glancing at the words she feels giddy all over again.

You’re not leaving my mind and that’s not fair. Are you thinking of me as well? I hope you are.

I can’t wait for our next date.  

Her reply is quick and within seconds the phone comes alive in her hands.

    “Hello” She doesn’t withhold the grin that spreads across her lips.

    “Hey beautiful.”

______

Check out the Masterlist!