#it's a real chicken and egg scenario

[systemerrorbonnie]

* if i wanted to fuck the terminalz from ultrakill, would that be objectum or selfshipping

[elodieunderglass]

Hello I have a theory for what could be done with Killie's 150 eggs!

Passover starts tomorrow evening.

For a passover seder, you need one egg per person plus one for the plate. We have four people coming to our seder and we do two nights, so that's already 9 eggs. I always make a sachertorte for dessert, because it's kosher for passover and also I call it a pesachertorte and this entertains me. That uses six eggs. Another traditional treat is cinnamon meringue balls, which are. Eggs. And later in the week we'll have an omelette because that's an easy kosher for passover meal.

And this is how a two person household just bought two dozen eggs for their weekly grocery shop, with recognition that we may need to pop out for more midweek.

All I'm saying is, if Derek's family is any size at all, this was a Really Useful time of year to suddenly overload them with eggs.

I was thinking about this, and about how Killie was supposed to go home to Ireland for Easter, and among other things (mass, helping his dad, enduring his family) he was supposed to ride for his dad in the Irish Grand National, but he technically broke his wrist instead. And Derek definitely would have gone home to the USA as he would have liked to see his moms and NOT be involved with the nightmare scenario in Ireland.

I don’t know how a nice family in Massachusetts would all feel about a mysteriously sopping wet, weird small Irish guy that they thought was some kind of fictional creation of Derek’s turning up on their doorstep at a bizarre time, with an uncommon amount of chicken eggs. Uninvited on a holiday like a half-drowned wet BEAST. Why is he wet why is he cold why is he tiny - why the eggs - who IS this???

I do not know how much they, loving Derek very much, approve of any part of the concept of Killie. I am sure they would all rise to the occasion magnificently, and be quite friendly, and act as if it was perfectly normal and in fact a charming thing to do.

his moms would only exchange a few words in the kitchen of I DIDNT THINK HE WAS REAL?

SWEETIE I’M STILL NOT SURE HE IS REAL.

What a great fuckin way to meet Killie. No explanation, a half-barked-out drowned-cat apology and 150 smuggled eggs!!!!

[thewritetofreespeech]

Your Kunikida x reader was so sweet/well written! May I request Kunikida with an s/o (GN or fem) who's having a stressful time with eating right/properly...maybe they could be in a cooking or shopping together scenario? If the topic isn't one you're comfortable writing about, please don't worry about it!

Doppo Kunikida x reader

awwww! thank you so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and was actually inspired to build off that story for a part 3! [part i, part ii ]

“How do you not have anything in your fridge?” Literally.

Kunikida had never seen a fridge so bare outside of an appliance showroom. Save for a few meager condiments, a single egg, one bunch of green onion (which had seen better days), and coffee creamer, it was completely empty.

“Uh...because I’m never here?” [Y/N] replied as they came out of the bedroom. “I’m never here that often, and it’s not like dad rents this place out when I’m not around. There’s no point in doing grocery shopping when I’m not going to be here that long as I’m usually out to dinner with him or friends, or just get take out.”

Kunikida frowned. As ‘sound’ as that argument was, he still couldn’t believe they didn't have any real food in their house. “You need to take better care of your diet. For your health.”

“What? You think my ‘health’ is suffering?” She flashed him a smile and lifted the bottom of her tank top & lowered the band on her bottoms to show off her body.

Kunikida had to gulp and turn away. He would not be distracted. “Come on. We’re going to the store. I can’t leave you alone like this with no reasonable means to feed yourself.” [Y/N] groaned but put up little more for an argument as they went to change.

The trip to the store was easy enough. At this time of day there weren’t many people. Just seniors and young mothers with their children too little for daycare. Kunikida glanced at them, then back at [Y/N]. Imagining, if just for a moment, a life where this could be their routine every Sunday.

Once the shopping was done, they head back to [Y/N]’s apartment and start cooking. “You know, we could have had food by now if we just ordered it.” She playfully grumbled. Cleaning the green beans as instructed beside him, while Kunikida diced some onion and put it in the pan with the chicken.

“Home cooked meals are better for you. You can get more of the ideal nutrients & vitamins needed for ideal health.”

“Yeah, along with all the work and gross wrinkly fingers when you have to wash the dishes.” Despite himself, Kunikida scoffed. “Why are you so worried about my health & diet? You’ve never shown an interest before.”

“I have!” He was offended now. He always encouraged her to get a salad or more vegetables when they went out. She just never listened to him. “It’s just…I’m here now. And you shouldn’t eat take out for every meal.”

“You know I cook my own meals when I’m back at school, right? I have a cheese grater and everything.” He doesn’t comment. Instead focusing more on the pan in front of him, as if should he take his eyes off it for a second it would burn. “Is that what this is about? Your bummed I’m going back soon?”

“I’m not ‘bummed’.” Kunikida insisted. He would never use that word. Devastated, depressed, desolate, those were all words he would use. “I just want to make sure you’re taken care of when I’m not around to do it for you.”

[Y/N] gave him a slight, listless smile, then wrapped her arms around his middle from behind. “I can take care of myself, you know.” She raised up on her toes to kiss his neck. “But…I appreciate the assist. It’s not for much longer. I’ll be finished with my program in another year, and I’ll be back for good.”

Kunikida whipped around and wrapped his arms around her to give her a full kiss. Overcome with emotion. Every time she came and left was getting harder for him. This….void she left when she was gone was getting wider & wider. The thought that soon she’d be here, within arm’s reach, every single day just filled him with so much joy that he had to express it.

“Kunikida…” Her voice was breathless in his ear as she clung to him. “…the chicken…”

“Fuck the chicken.” He growled back. Nothing else was as important as kissing her right now. They’d get takeout like she wanted anyway.

The two of them continue their kissing, quickly escalating into something more, when [Y/N] suddenly pushed him back. Kunikida had to catch himself on the counter to not fall on the floor. He was about to ask her ‘what the hell’ before his blood ran cold. “Oh…hi Daddy…”

“P-President….”

Nothing could have made this situation more awkward or worse as a tense moment settled neatly between all 3 of them.

Then the smoke alarm went off.

[oneatlatime]

Want to get your thoughts on something you've touched on in a couple places. A pretty popular idea in the fandom is that one of the (in-universe) reasons airbenders have gone so hard into the peace-and-love monk thing is a self-awareness that, if they didn't, there's not a whole lot anybody could realistically do about it.

Like, Southern Air Temple pretty strongly implies that Gyatso solo'd a room full of comet-roided firebenders. It killed him but he did it, and while he is a master Airbender, we're not given any real indication that he is uniquely so, right?

I have many thoughts on this! Sorry in advance for the long post! And sorry if this goes a bit off topic!

Short answer: I don't agree.

Long answer:

We've seen that nations' cultures tend to reflect their native bending styles. Or vice versa. It's probably a chicken and egg scenario. The Fire Nation chose to spread (like wildfire) and is full of hot headed, impetuous roid-rage sufferers who can't see or plan for the long term. Fire itself easily becomes ungovernable and is at best muzzled/leashed, always waiting for the next chance to bubble over in unplanned / unpredictable / generally unhelpful directions (Hi Zhao!). So an element shapes a culture shapes and element until you've got a positive feedback loop (or in the case of the Northern Water Tribe, a negative feedback ourobouros due to outside pressure). Importantly, neither culture nor element develops in isolation; I think they develop simultaneously.

The Earth Kingdom is probably the most rigid and unchanging, even when it would benefit them to change/innovate. We see rigidity and humourlessness in response to change or the unexpected (see Toph's parents) and we see an inability to let go of a bad idea, or mitigate the consequences / think on the go when things that were clearly bad ideas go bad in ways anyone with a non-earthbender brain can see coming a mile off (think The Avatar State episode). Earth digs in when it should retreat, stands solid when it should duck and weave. It is grounded to the point of stupidity (unless you're Toph or Bumi, although even Toph seems to be unbending so far). It's linear to the point of being unable to deviate from that line.

This is me guessing, but I figure since fire and water are opposites, air must be the opposite of earth, right? So while we'll never see airbending culture in a non-shrunk-down-to-one-person form, we can look at earthbending culture for its dark reflection. Well, probably not dark, but you get what I'm saying. They'll be opposites in world view. We can extrapolate.

So if earth is grounded, humourless, aggressively traditional, linear, then air must be constantly fluctuating, unchained, lighthearted, bonkers-all-over-the-place. The heaviness of earth would dictate that problems should be faced by digging in and facing them head on until the problem blinks first. The lightness of air would dictate that problems should be faced the opposite way: blinking first i.e. removing yourself from the problem entirely. The linearity of earth dictates that fights are solved by fighting - you punch me, I punch you. The non-linearity of air would seek to recontextualise a problem until it's no longer a problem because we all forgot what we were fighting about in the first place, i.e. throwing pies at it or busting out the marble trick. The heaviness of earth would cause excessive earthly attachment; the lightness of air would cause excessive detachment from worldly concerns.

To start violence is to make a statement that you wish to be involved. It's rooting yourself to a particular dispute, choosing a hill to die on. It stems from attachment. This is earthbendery behaviour (and Zuko-y, but let's not go there). To never start violence is to never invest, never dig in your feet and make a stand. To be detached. (I'm oversimplifying here.) It's clear from in-show examples that Aang's pacifism is of the "ladies don't start fights but they can finish them" variety; he's got no problem with self-defence (caveat: we have no idea how typical an air nomad Aang was). But he never attacks first that I can think of.

Violence is a very direct tool. If someone starts a fight with you, and you decide to continue it, you're choosing the most obvious action. Since when is airbending direct or obvious?

All this to say, I think that pacifism, peace and love, monkiness, etc., was more likely a natural and inevitable outgrowth of air nomad culture, caused by constant culture / element interaction, rather than a conscious choice.

So I think airbenders "have gone so hard into the peace-and-love monk thing" because the nature of their element creates a culture that discourages the traits required for effective offensive violence, and the inherent detachment and ever-changing nature of air naturally encouraged spiritual (i.e. monkly) pursuits rather than earthly ones, like whatever the conflict of the week is. I don't think self-awareness of the dangers of their element factors into it. Not to take away from Gyatso's accomplishment, but I think air is nowhere near the most dangerous element. From what I've seen so far that would be Fire or Earth, though I'd give the edge to Fire because they self-generate, and also because they've spent a largely successful century dominating the other elements. Waterbenders and earthbenders can be neutralised by taking away their element; airbenders - due to the very nature of their element - probably can't get past that initial avoid and evade instinct to become legitimate offensive threats.

As for Gyatso, I think he's an outlier. We know little about him so far, but we do know that: a) Aang says he's the best airbender (in I think the Southern Air Temple?); b) he's good enough that he was granted a statue while he was still living, learning, improving; and c) he's good enough that the monkly council (of which he is part) granted him the honour/responsibility of being the quasi-dad of the Avatar. These things tell me that Gyatso was the Spiders Georg of the Airbenders. I suspect Bumi is the same for the Earthbenders, and at least as far as the philosophy of bending is concerned, Iroh may be so for Firebenders. Even the example of Gyatso nuking the comet-enhanced firebenders is a case of defensive action in ultra extraordinary circumstances: he was staring into the teeth of a genocide while mourning the disappearance of his quasi-son and the likely loss of the world's only hope / chance at stopping the war. That's how far you have to push an airbender before they'll take a life. Unless the Avatar world pre-war is a lot more godawful than Aang has implied, airbenders probably wouldn't have been taking lives frequently enough for them to get to the point where they would have to start questioning whether they should consider pacifism.

I think what this fandom idea ultimately is, is a desire for the hidden badass trope. Everyone loves it when the most peaceful character in the story is revealed to secretly be a Rambo-level fighting badass, right? Who didn't love it when kindly grandpa Roku manifested in his temple and unleashed a volcano? But I think this trope fundamentally takes something away from the appreciation of Airbending, Air Nomad culture, and the concept of Pacifism as a whole. This is just my interpretation, but applying the "secretly the deadliest all along!" trope to airbenders undermines their commitment to pacifism and makes it performative rather than earnest. It's a cop out; an acknowledgement that violence actually is the answer, and even those head-in-the-clouds monks know to use it when the chips are down. This show goes out of its way to show that non-combatants have value and a place in this world that's worth fighting for, that fighting goes way too far pretty frequently, that non-violent solutions are valid, even preferable. It would kind of undermine that message if all of the elements were easily weaponisable.

Something I've loved so far about Avatar is the show's earnestness. There have been no Marvel-style fakeout bathos plots. I feel making airbending secretly the deadliest element or similar would be exactly that sort of thing. Can't my pacifists be peaceful not because they're secretly untouchable badasses who carry the biggest stick, whom the rest of the world leaves alone out of fear, who are not a threat only because they have chosen not to be, but because that's just who they are?

On the other hand: Aang's been a one-man-army plenty of times. We've seen that; that's undeniable. So air is stupidly powerful as an element. No denying that. Gyatso did murder a bunch of people trying to kill him, so air can be deadly. But I don't think your typical airbender could be deadly. If you gave a can of airbending to a firebender, an earthbender, or even a particularly provoked waterbender, I don't doubt that they could kill people with it. But the culture that the element generated - rather than a conscious choice by that culture's participants - prevents them from taking the direct, violent, solution. And I think that culture developed in tandem with airbending, so there could not have been a time when airbenders were deadly as a rule. Air shaped airbenders as much as airbenders shaped air, and it shaped them into non-violent people.

There's a lot of power in the idea of consciously choosing, and sticking to, something that is perhaps not in line with your natural abilities. Styling airbenders as deadly-but-choosing-peace is a great way to explore themes of agency, identity, strength of character, morals, maturity, etc. But, to me, there's also a lot of power in the idea that some people just can't - not won't, but CAN'T - fight their way out of things, and this doesn't make it any less wrong to genocide the crap out of them.

If the fandom wants to headcanon airbenders as secret badasses who consciously choose nonviolence, I say a) go ahead! there's more than enough evidence to support that conclusion; b) I respectfully disagree; and c) is Iroh not enough?

tl;dr in my opinion, air's pacifism was a natural outgrowth of, and restriction imposed by, the element rather than a conscious choice; airbending can be deadly but airbenders aren't; Gyatso is not representative; 'speak softly and carry a big stick' is all well and good as a philosophy, but those who speak softly and don't have a stick are of value too.

[prince-liest]

Ok so I know you haven't officially trans anyone's gender in any of your Hazbin fics, but I lowkey get really trans vibes from Alastor in most of your fics?

Idk, it's a little hard go explain but what really tipped me off was his... distaste? Disfavor? Aversion? To his "male body" in one of the 666 fics. (I think the line was something akin to "the male body being what it is" in reference to Alastor getting hard fairly quickly).

There's honestly a lot of interesting things to speculate in relation to how Alastor views his body. Especially with his relationship with touch, and how he initiates touch and how he actively dislikes it (depending on the person).

Not to mention his feelings regarding his non-human features. How he doesn't inherently dislike them for being what they are, or rather, that they're "abnormal", but more so that they're not what they're "supposed to be", and not "what he was before" (though I do think that his dislike of his deer features is linked to his dislike of how he died, being viewed as something so easy to be put down - an animal).

Which also relates to how dressed Alastor constantly is. How he shields away his body using clothing, a customizable thing that he takes great pride in making sure is up to his standards (notice how when his coat is damaged he immediately goes to get it fixed, even though the ends of his coat is already damaged. He seems to have very complex opinions on how, exactly, his coat is supposed to be damaged)

I do think that Alastor's preference to being so dressed is linked to his dislike of vulnerability, but I also think it's a very trans(tm) move, lol.

(And I also do think that his dislike of vulnerability is tied to his transness, kinda in a weird "chicken and egg" scenario.)

I find it really interesting how Alastor's true feelings are revealed by his shadow, a being that can transform to look different, is mostly hidden, and is internally mysterious. Idk, it's just very trans(tm) to me!

I also think that Alastor's transness is linked to how he views masculinity, how he seems to automatically like woman, while automatically disliking man. How this is also tied to his parents. I've noticed in your fics (and could be completely wrong about) that Alastor seems to relate femininity (and his mother) with "safety" (how he compares the gentle touch in your last fic with feeling like his mother and his like of jambalaya).

I'm not sure if I would say that Alastor is a trans woman, but I also wouldn't say he isn't. Overall I think he has a very complex view of gender, but it's definitely something he doesn't put a lot into. Which relates to him not knowing what asexuality is.

I have a lot more Alastor trans thoughts, but this ask is already getting pretty long so I'm just gonna cut it off here. I hope I made sense, and that you're comfortable with me speculating on a character you've written about gender. (Totally valid if you're not though! If so, then please disregard this ask!)

I'll take "asks that made me realize I'm out here accidentally writing a character as nonbinary" for 300, please! Please prepare yourself for the mistake of letting me have a keyboard and talk about gender after 9pm, so sorry to literally everybody else.

You're gonna get a real fuckin' kick out of the first bit of the next 666 that I'm gonna post tomorrow. ;) It's definitely the point where I finally acknowledged to myself that I have a strong urge to inject some genderfuckery into Alastor in the form of him continuing to use his thing with Vox to explore his own relationship with, like, existing in his own body, and then also threw those feelings all over Angel Dust like a fistful of glitter while I was at it.

Like you said, I wouldn't say that I've ended up writing him as a trans woman, but I think I have seen him from the start as a character who is not exactly cis in a wibbly-wobbly way I have not previously defined but that I think I would perhaps characterize as "gender: monster condescending to play at humanity."

I don't think he eschews masculinity entirely, for what it's worth. He definitely strikes me as a person who aligns himself with the image of a smiling gentleman (if a hellish one) as the proper way for a person like him to be, and for whom that is an important, comfortable, and satisfying part of both his identity and how he relates to both his female friends and to men. However, he also strikes me as someone for whom that part of his identity is what he shows the world on purpose, presented as he would like it to be seen, rather than as something that reflects his bodily preferences. To put it another way, if he'd been AFAB, I think he would put just as much into his presentation, just in the direction of femininity, and it wouldn't make him any more or less comfortable with himself.

You're right in that I've definitely written him with a faint distaste for the mundane physical reality of his body, and a lot of this comes through in how he alternates between short moments of fascination with what new things his body is doing as he explores it and decides whether or not he likes it, and his much longer moments of utter disregard for the same thing. It also extends to the rest of his mundane humanity, though: his physical limits, his adrenaline-rush of fear, etc. He values the coat, the cane, the reality-bending static, the smile - but whatever he sees in the mirror when he gets undressed or whatever doesn't function to his purposes, he can take or leave.

I see Alastor as someone who defines himself first and foremost as the radio demon: not a person, but a monster and an enigma. A voice and a personality. Everything else is more or less incidental, and he would prefer to keep it set aside, thank you. The occasional dysphoria isn't just about his sex, it's about the humanity of his body as a whole.

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

i really hate myself sometimes because i'm so convinced that everyone else despises me even if they are my friends or family, but are just pretending to like me for the sake of me occasionally being useful to them. i have trauma around this to explain my fears, but it's so deep that i truly don't believe anyone wants me around unless i can do something for them, or they suddenly remember i exist so they hang out for my entertainment value. the only reason my brain is going down this road rn is because i've spent the entire day in bed, feel shit about it, am now hungry but the smell of the salmon my mum made is making me feel so unbelievably nauseous i just straight up filled my water bottle downstairs and went back upstairs to my room, without food, and now my brain is spiralling into a bunch of made up scenarios that is essentially just my brain bullying itself. i know i need to eat something soon because i'm really cold and lethargic and it's because i have no energy, but i physically can't make myself eat anything because i have zero interest in food. this in turn makes me feel like shit because i feel ungrateful - mum cooked salmon and veggies, i should eat that, but the smell of it is just about the worst thing imaginable for me rn (i love salmon, but sometimes food just smells too much of food, like when egg smells like egg or your chicken tastes like chicken). i have a mental wellbeing call tomorrow and i should probably voice this then but the lady always makes me feel like an infant when on the phone and because i can't see her facial expressions (i don't even know what she looks like, nor she me) i just cannot open up about these things over the phone at all, and it's a waste of 10 minutes to be repeated monthly. i also have a phone call with a dietician later this month and i'm dreading that too because i think i'll just get swept under the rug because i don't have an ED, i just struggle to eat food... i feel utterly useless and dilapidated at the moment and idk what to do besides write these shitty little vent posts on my shitty little blog that maybe 3 people regularly interact with. i'm holding onto so much anger and frustration right now i might physically hurt myself in a silly way (when i'm overstimulated i tend to hit my head or dig my nails into my palm until it almost bleeds, whoops) and i just feel like SCREAMING super loud but that's not an acceptable thing to do!! anyway it's really hard being mentally ill and undiagnosed with things because there's no real help and no real way for me to cope without me actively trying to kill myself because that's the only way i'll be able to get fastrack aid from any services, and i'm desperately trying not to go down that route because it would absolutely destroy my mum if i really tried rather than just thinking of ways to do it. i'm gonna play KCD now to distract myself and just spend hours making potions and picking flowers, maybe that'll fix me.

[opentanie]

what do you think maysilee thought when haymitch asked her to be his sister, with a presumption she started developing feelings for him, even subconsciously? i think few people thought about the possibility of maysilee hating that she was put in a sister role her whole life.

Funnily enough, I've already shared some of my thoughts re @ Maysilee and her family, although I could swear I wrote in here more about how Donners are set up to be Stepford smilers, only for Suzanne to never do anything with it. But oh well, apparently it was in oomf's dms. Definitely gonna touch upon it in Rust and Stardust one way or another, so no harm.

Anyways.

Let's start from the very last thing you touched upon, Anon: Maysilee and her feelings about being forced into a role of not only sister, but a twin her whole life. One thing we can say about Maysilee for sure is that she is individualist; whether she was like that from day one, or was it born from her disdain into being constantly forced to present herself as a part of an interchangeable duo, is like a chicken-egg dilemma. Both options are plausible, and regardless of what was first, the thing is, Maysilee is a teenage girl, who willingly puts herself in social scenarios, where she stands out of the crowd. I'm sure she loved Merrilee very dearly, but it doesn't change the fact that at the tender adolescent age you rarely want to be seen as anything else than unique, your own, special. Your mom still making you wear clothes matching with your sister definitely doesn't help with that - and we can assume Maysilee would pick different outfits for herself, judging by her insistence that it's not her choice how the twins are dressed.

We also need to look at Maysilee in a wider context. While I don't think this scene is entirely accurate to her situation, I think it describes pretty well, why Haymitch (and probably other people) have a problem with labeling her. She's a pretty girl, who likes girly things, but she also has foul mouth and isn't afraid of a fight, both verbal and physical. It does confuse people, and while I doubt Maysilee has vocabulary to describe this, I think it's something she takes pride in. It secures her status as an unique human being.

And then, in an intimate moment, Haymitch all of sudden is like 'hey, can I call you sister?? This is totally related to the fact that I was once supposed to have twin sisters who died before I even knew you, and they wouldn't be our age'. Even if we don't assume she had feelings for him at that moment, it must definitely sting because Maysilee is perceptive and observant, we've already seen it in almost all of her scenes. So she probably already noticed that in Haymitch's world, women really exist only in relation to him: his Ma, his virginal perfect girlfriend, his substitute sister Louella. It must sting to know that he's only able to accept her, when he fits her into one of those categories.

And honestly, I don't think her developing romantic feelings for him at that point, being it concious or not, would change much. I think, like most people at that age, who want to stand out for the crowd, Maysilee would be very critical of herself whenever she feels she steps into an unfamiliar ground. You know, like whenever she thinks warmly of Haymitch, she scolds herself how banal it is, to fall for a guy, who not only doesn't feel the same, but also has a girl back home, and he put that girl on a pedestal so high it's impossible for any real human being to reach it.

And sometimes he looks at her, and she forgets about that, the critical voice in her head suddenly gone.

And in one of those moments, he squishes her into the same box she desperately tried to escape ever since she learned how to walk. Moreover, he makes her face the reality that maybe she's not as smart, as she always thought, if she couldn't stop herself from falling for someone like that.

I don't think she was disappointed because she didn't expect a friendzone - honestly, even if we assume they both developed feelings in the arena (which I think is the case), Maysilee would never guess Haymitch's feelings. No, she was disappointed because even on the verge of death, she couldn't escape the labels she always tried to avoid.

(On a different note, I think that Merrilee loved or, at last, really liked the idea of them matching, so Maysilee never voiced her real feelings on the matter to her, to aboid hurting her feelings).

[astralbondpro]

I don't know if I love bad movies because MST3K instilled it in me, or it was just coming up in the VHS rental generation in general. It's a real chicken or the egg scenario. Perhaps one helped the other?

[hawkinsbnbg]

After quitting his accounting job at his father's company, Steve left the city and moved to the countryside where he used most of his savings to open a small ranch.

Steve enjoyed his farmer life until one day, some of his chickens suddenly went missing.

At first, he thought it was the foxes, but even after he locked the doors, and set up the traps, his chickens still went away the morning after.

Steve even rang up Hopper, a local hunter, for advice.

But for all the efforts, he still couldn't keep his chickens safe from the foxes.

Eventually, when nothing worked, Steve decided to step up his game and catch the foxes before they could steal his chickens again.

And then that night, Steve witnessed a rug-rag of a man carefully step around the traps, creep into the henhouse, and then creep out with a chicken tucked under his arm.

Steve was like????

Because a closer look revealed that that was Eddie Munson, the local carpenter who had given Steve several discounts on the furniture he had bought when he first moved here.

Every week, Steve would exchange some eggs and meats for some wood from Eddie.

In return, Eddie would help him with the fences and barns whenever they needed to be fixed.

Although Steve hadn’t known Eddie that long, he would still like to think they were friends.

Thus, seeing Eddie here felt wrong. Weird, but a betrayal nonetheless.

Steve just stood there, stunned, before he came to his senses and called out to Eddie.

"Hey! That's my chicken, man!"

Eddie turned around, slowly, and then their eyes met.

Steve didn't think he could breathe.

Those eyes seemed unnatural, they were black, red-rimmed, and too bloodthirsty to be considered human. He knew Eddie had always looked pale, but under the moonlight, the other man looked like a ghost.

"Steve?" Eddie gasped, looking as terrified as his stoic facial muscles allowed him to.

"Eddie…” Steve hesitated for a few seconds before pointing at the chicken under Eddie’s arm. “Why are you holding my chicken?”

At his question, Eddie remained silent and stood strangely still, almost like a statue.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Steve. It couldn’t be, but since all the evidence was here, Steve couldn't lie to himself any longer. "Are you..?"

"What?" Eddie stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Are you the chicken stealer?" Steve squinted and watched Eddie adjust his grasp on the unconscious hen.

Oh my god, she had been passing out this whole time, Steve belatedly realized with growing concern.

"I'm sorry," said Eddie before quickly running away, leaving Steve behind to gape at his retreating form.

The next morning, Steve went to Eddie's place with two chickens.

Eddie had eyed the cage with a guilty look before sitting Steve down and explaining about his reason for stealing Steve's chicken.

Eddie had been stealing chickens to give them to his sick uncle who had been bedridden for weeks now.

The reason sounded off, but Steve still bought it because he didn't want to think about the alternative of why would Eddie need so many chickens in the first place.

But Steve's attempt to remain oblivious had sadly failed when Eddie moved in to live with him at the ranch.

(Why? Because they had become boyfriends after one year of flirting and sharing tender moments.)

He had caught Eddie drinking blood from a chicken one early morning when he went to check the henhouse.

"Wait, babe, I can explain!" Eddie, lips blood red and eyes midnight black, had held onto Steve's hands pleadingly and desperately.

And though Steve had half a mind to suggest Eddie give the ducks, gooses, pigs, and cows a try, he decided to comfort his boyfriend first.

He told Eddie that he had been trying to avoid this exact scenario because he thought Eddie would drop him and hightail away the moment Steve discovered the truth.

This time, Eddie sat him down again and told him about the real reason why he had stolen those chickens.

This time, Steve finally learned about vampires and the truth about his boyfriend.

This time, Eddie cried bloody tears when Steve reassured him that he wouldn’t go anywhere no matter who Eddie was or chose to become.

Still, there was this question that he had been itching to ask Eddie.

"But why the chickens?"

"They're tasty. Can't help it, man."

"Touché."

[rjzimmerman]

This is despicable. I know that the laws in most states exempt industrial agriculture from criminal laws on animal abuse, but this kind of crap has got to stop. Or we stop eating meat and bankrupt these corporations.

Excerpt from this story from Nation of Change:

Ventilation shutdown plus (VSD+) is an incredibly inhumane method of killing lots of animals at once by shutting off the air supply and driving up temperatures, causing organ failure and suffocation. It must stop.

Surging temperatures from heat pumped into an airless shed leave animals trapped inside, making it increasingly challenging for them to breathe. Eventually, after enduring hours of suffering, these animals suffocate and die in agony. This scenario is real, and the results are intentional. VSD+ is a brutal method of putting an entire flock—or herd—of animals to death all at once.

No animal should ever endure hours of suffering to die in extreme heat. However, in 2022, millions of chickens were killed through this horrific practice due to the avian influenza, or bird flu, which reemerged in bird populations across the United States, including the earlier outbreak in 2020. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, between February 2022 and August 2024, 100.71 million poultry were affected in the United States, including both commercially raised and backyard flocks. To stop the highly infectious virus from spreading, poultry farmers began culling entire flocks of chickens and turkeys raised to produce eggs or meat, meaning millions of birds were put to death using VSD+.

VSD+ is a process in which barns or sheds, where chickens or other animals live, are closed tightly, ventilation is sealed, fans are turned off, and heat, steam, or gas is turned on. As the temperature inside the building soars above 100 degrees Fahrenheit, the animals inside die from suffocation, heat stroke, and organ failure. This process occurs over long hours, where animals are essentially baked alive.

Ventilation shutdown (VSD) is the process of shutting off ventilation, allowing temperatures inside a building to rise or fall naturally. Ventilation shutdown plus (VSD+) is a specific method of depopulation that involves shutting off ventilation and pumping in heat or carbon dioxide.

It would be criminal to deliberately allow a pet to die through forced heat and suffocation. Therefore, it is unacceptable to allow farm animals to perish in this way. This thought process has led veterinarians to demand that the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) reclassify VSD+ as “not recommended.”

There’s a problematic loophole in which the AVMA approves VSD+ for culling chickens and pigs in “constrained circumstances.” This method of slaughter is anything but humane, as animals die in a long and painful fashion from VSD+. This raises the question: Why is VSD+ happening in the first place? The answer has everything to do with the rampant spread of disease on factory farms.

[tsunderestimated]

They need to do a case study on why jeep drivers are like that. Were they bitter and stupid so they bought a jeep to piss everyone off out of spite? Or did they become bitter because they were stupid enough to buy a jeep and everyone made fun of them for their shitty car? A real chicken or the egg scenario we've got here.

[circularcheez-it]

Ok but for real tho this is such a chicken or the egg scenario because on one hand.

Is the reason Dean had tension with every man because they were all gay all along ?

OR

Were the people who had the best chemistry with Dean also those who kiss men?

Like was it a coincidence that tinted the show in bisexual lighting ?? Or was it part of the job description??

[chickenpeep77]

Its weird when you have memories of the same place but at different times which conflict with each other in dreams. Like the nearby house where my grandma lived and I hung out a lot is now a rent house.

In a dream as Magolor. Marx is also there. Are in the living room. Oh nice we're here. Let's get some snacks and take a nap on the couch. (They deserve it. They just fought a giant salamander.) Suddenly hear strange voices from a nearby room. Aw heck wrong scenario. Other people are here. *Knocks on door* "Hey this is your friendly neighborhood wizard. Are you aware that there's (some hazardous occurrence) in the house happening?" There was a stove in front of the back door. It was cooking large amounts of eggs at once in pots and pans. A single chicken hen was there.

I've been playing as Magolor more often in dreams lately. Its real fun to levitate and telekinesis. I can play a piano from across the room. Also he says funny things. "Friendly neighborhood wizard" that's fantastic.

*slams open church doors* "I messed up!" (out of context that's a really funny thing for Magolor to do) Turns out they are not actually out of the blast radius and need to move fast. The giant salamander battle damaged some gas lines or oil thing or something. Real flammable.

[vegance]

Is being a vegetarian okay? The only real thing stopping me from being a vegan is eating eggs, which I get from hens I or my friends raise, and I know they’re cared for well and aren’t kept to be killed. don’t use any animal products otherwise

I just really don’t want to contribute to all of this animal abuse happening in the world.

i do think that being vegetarian is a huge step into the right direction, and for many people it's a great transitional point towards veganism.

i do see some issues with backyard eggs though, as a vegan.

Where do the hens come from? are they rescues? do they come from a breeder? if so, what happens to the male chicks born on that farm? what happens to the hens who go to people who keep them just for egg laying? are they cruelty-breeds (meaning they suffer from being selectively bred to produce so many eggs)

how well are the hens being taken care of? do they have adequate space to roam? are they truly safe from predators? if they suffer from overproducing eggs, would they be given the implant that stops it?

do you take away important nutrients from them by keeping their eggs? producing eggs takes energy and depletes nutrients, many vegans feed rescues their own eggs, to maintain their health. is this an option/necessary?

i can see a scenario where i would have no ethical problems with someone eating these eggs. maybe the hens are rescues, they eat most of their own eggs but some stay leftover and their owner eats those. but i think using animals bodies can be a really slippery slope. maybe one day the owner is really craving an egg, and even though the chickens could use the calcium, they eat the egg instead of feeding it back to the hens.

it is also not something that could be a wide spread solution, since it could never deliver on the necessary scale.

ultimately, i think you are already doing much better than the average person, and if you need to rely on backyard eggs for a bit to keep up the changes you've made, i don't see a problem with that. sustainable change takes time, and that is ok.

whether your unique case is contributing to animal cruelty and exploitation is something you will have to figure out on your own <3

if you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask!!

[jeffgerstmann]

Is there something that makes Playstation controllers better than Xbox or 3rd party that fighting game pad players all use them? Or does every tournament use Playstations for some reason?

I don't know, I assume it's just pad players who got used to a specific pad. I'm currently using a PS5 controller to play SF6 most of the time. It's reliable, easily replaced, and I find that I'm not having trouble getting moves out, though there might be some trickier combos or something that I'd probably be better off doing on a proper stick.

I look at it as a sign that we've completely moved on from the generation of players who came up playing fighting games in arcades. Now you've got pad players and people using leverless controllers and it's just wild.

They wouldn't be able to use an Xbox controller without some kind of weird adapter, since most tournaments are run on PlayStations. There are just a lot of ecosystem reasons why no one would run a major fighting game tournament on Xbox, hence why players end up using PlayStation controllers instead of Xbox controllers. I was talking someone involved with a peripheral maker recently and was reminded that fighting games on Xbox are pretty much dead. They might sell out of the gate to a more casual audience, but in a general sense, the Xbox fighting game audience isn't serious about competitive play. This ends up getting reflected in stick sales, but there's a chicken/egg argument to be had here, too. Because if you're getting into fighting games to be competitive, you aren't going to see a lot of Xbox hardware out there at tournaments. So you're not going to buy a fight stick for Xbox (and licensing generally prevents companies from making peripherals that _officially_ support both consoles). If you're serious about a variety of games, you might find that some of the major fighting games aren't even coming out on Xbox in the first place, so PlayStation ends up being the only real option. Even in a scenario where an Xbox version is available, wouldn't you rather make sure you're training on the exact same setup that you'll see at the tournament?

If I ever thought I might want to get serious about playing Street Fighter 6 and play it competitively, I'd probably never play it on PC again and stick to PlayStation 5, because it seems like that's what you'll see at most notable tournaments. That said, plenty of locals are probably run on laptops and various PCs since a local crew is more likely to be able to put together a variety of those setups instead of, like, investing in a bunch of PS5s, so... it all depends on what you're playing and where you're playing it, I suppose.

[vampvore]

When it comes to eggs, what’s your ideal clutch? Lots of small ones, or a few big ones? How about texture? Do you like ‘em firm or soft?

This is a great question!

In fantasy, I tend to think of fairly soft, gelatinous eggs around tennis-to-baseball size. That’s around 2-3 inches diameter, though if I feel evil I might go for 4. They have a lot of give in the outer layers, but only so much. For texture, slimey. Slippery. They’re covered in a thick goo. A fair number of these medium-sized ones… like 12 to 20? is usually my preference for oviposition scenarios.

In real life, my favorite eggs are soft silicone, both smooth or somewhat textured, and they range in size from standard chicken’s egg size to… the diameter of a coke can, and 3/4 its height. Sometimes though I feel like using my glass eggs, the hardness and smoothness can be really nice.

If I had to choose only 1 egg to have.. I would probably go with my one that’s about 3.5 in tall and 2.5 in diameter. It’s a good medium, very cozy.

Ask me anything