#it's a happy little accident I think‚ considering both pieces together show the two sides of Willow's character really well!

[rhouxl]

The other side of the coin

[SCP/OC - Willow Khater - they/them]

ID in alt.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Sleeping Vampire ー Mukami Azusa

Source: Diabolik Lovers Vandead Carnival

Seiyuu: Kishio Daisuke

Audio: Here

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“...Aah...You finally came. I’ve been waiting for you...this whole time. I felt lonely...All by myself...”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Come on...Scoot over...Okay? Eve...Join me...”

*Rustle rustle*

“....? Why do you...seem so startled? I curled up underneath the blankets...hoping to surprise you...Is that weird...perhaps? Like this...It almost felt as if you were...holding me tightly. Do you...hate that side of me? Is that why...you looked so shocked...?”

You shake your head.

“Aah, thank god...For a second, I thought I had upset you. Right. You are kind after all...You are even willing to join me in bed like this...”

*Rustle*

“Fufu...Say, move a little closer...?”

*Rustle rustle*

“I want to feel you more...Is that too much to ask? No, you don’t mind, do you? Come on...Closer.”

You scoot closer.

“I like you...I love you. Eve...When you’re close to me like this...I feel extremely peaceful...Say, how about you....? Do you feel at ease...when I’m with you? Do you...?”

You nod.

“...Fufu, I’m happy...The two of us...really are two of the same kind...Aren’t we? That’s why we can be this comfortable...and feel warm inside...just by being together like this...This is ‘love’, isn’t it? ...Something precious I was taught by you. Say, come even closer... I’ll hold you...firmly in my arms. Strongly, tightly...Since you...love the pain...”

You close your eyes.

“Haah...Eve, you truly smell wonderful. Is it because you took a bath? No, that’s not it...This is your natural scent...This smell...For some reason, it feels very nostalgic...Say? Let me take in more of your scent...No? You won’t say...no, right?”

Azusa continues to take in your scent.

“Haah...Say, Eve...? How come you smell this lovely...? Like some sort of flower...A sweet fragrance...”

*Rustle rustle*

“I’m sorry...I’m just so happy to be together with you again, I couldn’t help myself...Did it tickle? Fufu...”

You note that he smells good too.

“...Eh? I smell good too? That’s the first time someone had said that to me...No, I’m happy. ...Very much so. Since I’ve never really...paid attention to my own scent...Since it smells nice...That means you like it...Right?”

You nod.

“Fufu...I see. While you have the chance...Go ahead and get a better whiff?”

You take in his scent.

“...And? Is it difficult to tell from the wrist...?”

*Rustle*

“Then, from the nape...Make sure you take in my scent completely, okay...? Engraving it...deep inside your mind...So you won’t forget about me...Even while we’re apart...”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Huh? You’re done already?”

You tell him you got a little embarrassed. 

“Fufu...You really are easily flustered...aren’t you? I think that side of you...is very adorable as well. Speaking of which...The other day, Kou told me that finding someone’s scent pleasant...is a sign that the two fo you are highly compatible...If he was speaking the truth...that would mean...we’re a great match, right...? Will you...believe this story?”

You agree.

“Fufu...Thank you. I want to believe it’s true too...After all, if we subconsciously feel attracted to one another...I can somewhat believe that I was born...for the reason of one day meeting you.”

*Dingー Dongー*

“...Aah, it’s already this late. It’s time for bed...”

*Creaaak*

“But...When we’re sharing the bed like this...I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep...I want to gaze at you forever and ever...Staying up the whole night...You see? I want to know...what kind of expression you make as you doze off...I want to hear the things you whisper in your sleep...Aah...I’d even love to join together...and have the same dream. Do you understand? ...To become one, and see the same dream...Laughing together underneath the clear, blue skies...or watching the same scenery, sharing the same feelings...and eating the same foods...I get excited just from imagining it...Don’t you feel...the same? You do, don’t you...? You are...my Eve after all...”

*Rustle*

“Say, what should I do....? How can I...become one with you...? Tell me...Eve, do you know how...?”

You ask for his hand.

“Eh? What...? My hand?”

You hold his hand.

“Oh...Why are you holding my hand? If I...squeeze back like this...I see...Now it makes sense. Eve, you truly are lovely...You found such a perfect solution...Say, hold my hand tigheter. Squeeze down...stronger...”

You squeeze his hand.

“Aah, I hope the two of us...will become connected like this...If we do that...No, actually...Even without doing this...It’ll be okay...I can feel it. That’s what...your warmth is telling me. Aah, but...if we fall asleep like this...we might just let go...What should we do? Aah, right...I just had a great idea too.”

*Rustle*

“ ーー If we wrap the blanket around it...Like this... 

You intervene.

“Eh? Why do you stop me...Eve? We can simply...tie our hands together like this...No? Tightly...So it definitely come loose...Do you perhaps...not like the idea of being connected like this...?”

You shake your head.

“...Then why...!? You...actually dislike me...Is that it...? ...I’m sad...Uu...”

You explain.

“Our hearts? Why do you mean by...our hearts being connected...?”

You try and explain it to him.

“That’s complicated, Eve...Say, what should I do...to understand? I want actual proof...Eve, tell me...Show me...proof of that connection. If you do...this sadness might fade away too...”

You grab hold of his hand.

“What’s wrong? Eve...Where are you...guiding my hand...”

You press his hand against your chest.

“Eh...? ...You’re right...Your heart’s racing...Beating so very quickly...Aah, I see...So this is...your love...It’s connected to my own feelings for you, isn’t it...? I’m glad...When I assumed you hated me...I suddenly started aching inside...As if my heart was thorn to pieces...But, I’m fine now...Because our feelings are connected. Haah..Shame on me...How could I be so doubtful towards you...i can’t help...but grow anxious...Because you’re Eve ー and loved by everyone. Perhaps the fact that I’m with you like this...is actuallyーー”

You stop him.

“ーー ...!? Eve...?”

You insist that Azusa is the only one for you.

“Really? Do you...promise? That you’ll be with me forever...That you will never leave me...”

You promise.

“Aah, I’m so happy...I must be extremely blessed...”

You admit to feeling happy too.

“Fufu, I’m glad...”

You yawn.

“What’s wrong? You yawned...Aah, oh no...We had to go to bed...But I enjoyed spending time with you so much, I completely forgot. Yeah, it’s very fun...Sorry. Say...Do you want to sleep already? I’d like to stay up a little longer and talk to you...”

You nod in agreement.

“...That’s okay? Thank you. You’re always so kind...I love chatting with you like this...Fufu...Aah, sorry. I just lost myself in my own happiness. Did I suprirse you? I see, I’m glad then...Say, we’re actually all alone for once...so let’s use the opportunity to talk lots more. There’s a bunch of things I want to ask you...I want to know your everything. And...I also want you to know my everything...I wonder what we should talk about...? Say, how did you spend today?”

You start explaining.

“Fufu...School? Aah, makes sense. I...attended classes today as well. But...School is boring. I mean...We can’t be together during that time...On top of that...I get scolded by Ruki for ‘having my mind somewhere else’... He nearly hit my hands with a whip...But then he stopped right there...”

You lift a brow.

“...If I wanted him to hit me, you ask? ...Wellーー No... Eve, because you told me...that you don’t want me to inflict harm upon myself...I decided to stop...thinking that way...After all, when you are sad...It hurts me too...Besides...If I try my best and refrain from hurting myself...I feel as if...you’ll stay by my side...I guess you could...it’s like a lucky charm? Say...What did you do? Tell me...”

You start telling him about your day at school.

“Fufu...I see. Girls sure...love their sweets, don’t they? I like spicy food...How about you? Do you...like spice?”

You tilt your head to the side.

“...To a certain degree...? How spicy would that be? ...It’s hard to tell.”

You elaborate.

“You can handle spicy curry? Then...I guess about one bottle of red chili pepper would be fine...?”

You start to panic.

“Eh? No? I see...So, you want more then?”

You shake your head.

“Less...huh? I really like red chili powder...So I figured you would enjoy it too...”

You frown.

“This sort of stuff is kind of...tricky, huh? I don’t think it’s spicy at all, but everyone keeps on saying me it’s way too hot...I don’t know...what ‘normal’ is...Say, you know, don’t you...? What normal is...”

You try and explain.

“I see...What is considered ‘normal’ is something very complex? ...I see, hearing you say that somehow puts me at ease. Because I often...get told that I’m strange...So I started to worry that perhaps...I really am the odd one for not knowing what is normal. I honestly...don’t mind being considered weird. But...What scares me is...being distinctively different from you. ...Right...When I look at it like that...I’m terrified...Since I won’t be able...to continue viewing us as two of the same kind...However...I’m glad. You really...are similar to me. Aren’t you?”

You smile.

“Come on, talk to me more...Tell me all sorts of things...I love both you...and your voice. All of your stories too...So...”

You seem a little surprised.

“Yeah. I enjoy your voice. I feel very cozy when listening to it. ...Like shivers running up my spine...Of course...That’s not the only part of you I like...I love you as a whole...So rest assured.”

You blush.

“...Fufu, you’re so cute, Eve. I can touch you more, right...?”

*Rustle*

“For some reason...Your body feels even warmer than before...I guess you’re actually...starting to get sleepy...?”

You ask if he is tired too.

“...I’m still fine...I want to keep on watching you forever after all...Because it is fun to observe you...”

“...I’m glad. But, when you get tired, you can sleep whenever you want, okay...? You truly are kind...for willing to keep on talking to me, Eve.”

*Rustle*

“...Hm? The wound on my finger...? ...Aah, I cut myself on the edge of a page of my textbook, that’s all...You shouldn’t worry about it, okay? It might have stung a little...but it’s fine...It’s a very light injury. If anything...I wish it would have left a deeper cut...”

You frown.

“...I’m sorry. I will never have any thoughts that would upset you. So...please don’t hate me...? Besides...I didn’t hurt myself on purpose this time...I swear, it was an accident...!”

You nod in agreement.

“...You understand? Thank god...Thank you. I don’t think I’d be able to bear...having you dislike me...I don’t want you...to leave me.”

You look at his finger again.

“...What’s wrong, Eve? Are you worried about my cut?”

You brush across the paper cut.

“Fufu, when you brush your fingertips across...It tickles a little.”

You tell him you’ll help him out.

“...A spell? ‘Pain, pain, go away...’ (1) Heeh...Those words will help the cut heal quicker, huh...?”

You seem surprised that he does not know it.

“Mmh...It’s my first time hearing it. ...You must be very knowledgeable...”

Azusa closes his eyes.

“A spell, huh? I enjoy the pain, so I don’t think you need to cast a spe...No, stop. I shouldn’t...waste your consideration towards me...should I? ...Fufu, I’m sure this cut...will heal in no time.”

You offer to cast the lucky charm together.

“...Good idea, let’s do that. Together...At the same time...Fufu...This counts as a group effort, doesn’t it...? I hope it’ll be twice as effective...But I wonder if it actually will be...? Pain, pain...go away.”

*Smooch*

“Sorry...Watching your beautiful fingers, I couldn’t help...but want to kiss them...This is my way...of thanking you...for taking away my pain. ...Did you not like it?”

You shake your head.

“Fufu...I’m glad...Besides...I wonder if the spell worked? The wound already no longer hurts...Say? ...Can I kiss you just a little more? I can’t? No...I can, right? You want to kiss me too...Don’t you?”

He leans in.

*Smooch*

“...I kissed your cheek this time...Fufu, the place I kissed...is gradually turning more red...”

You close your eyes.

“Huh...? You’re closing your eyes...? Aah, I see. You want me...to kiss you on the lips, don’t you? Don’t worry...No need to be ashamed...Nn...”

*Smooch*

“Haah...Your lips...They’re sweet...The taste of the...candy you ate at school? No, this is...different...It’s your taste, Eve...Haah...Nn...”

*Smooch*

“Fufu...Eve, you’ve got that dreamy look in your eyes...Did it...feel good? It felt...amazing for me too...I’d love...to do much more...other things too, but...Right now, I want to continue chatting with you lots more...Will you...feel the same?”

You nod.

“I’m glad...I thought that maybe you would prefer something a little more painful, however...We are one, so...I can tell what you’re thinking. I wonder if it’s okay for me to be this happen? Eh? ...Yeah, very much so...Perhaps the most blessed I’ve ever felt. ...I mean.”

*Rustle rustle*

“Without realizing, the whole blanket has started smelling like you. This sweet smell...which brings me happiness...It’s almost as if you’re holding me gently...I want to take a deep breath, and inhale all of your scent.”

*Rustle*

“Ah...Don’t move. After all...If you do that, your scent...will escape...I don’t want to let go...of even a single whiff (2). It’s all mine...”

You ask if it isn’t suffocating for him.

“Me? Honestly...I prefer wrapping the blanket this tightly...If anything, if it were even more suffocating...Aah, oh no...I can’t help but...yearn for things which bring pain or suffering...Please forgive me, Eve...”

You forgive him.

“You’ll let it slide...? I see...Thank god...I can’t help but think those things out of pure habit, you see? I’m so glad...you’re a kind-hearted person...”

Azusa yawns.

“Haah, for some reason...I’ve started getting sleepy...”

You yawn too.

“You too? Right...I mean, the two of us...are alike after all...Hmー ...But I’d still like to watch you sleep...Will you fall asleep first...? To grant...my wish.”

You nod.

“Thank god. ...Yeah, I’ll be watching. ...Until you fall into a deep slumber, the whole time...”

You frown.

“It’s embarrassing...? How so...? There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re cute after all...Oh? That’s not it...?”

You try and explain.

“Girls find that sort of stuff embarrassing...? ...Is that so? That’s a little difficult for me to grasp....I wonder why...? Your sleeping expression...is very beautiful after all. Besides...It’s something I can only witness...when I’m sleeping next to you like this. In this manor, I’m the only one...who gets to see it. Right...?”

You agree.

“That’s exactly...Why I want to see it.”

You ask if he’ll rest with you.

“If I’ll...sleep with you as well? But then, I won’t be able to watch you sleep...However...If that’s what you want...I will...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Come on, I’m going to sleep too...So, Eve...Close your eyes as well?”

You close your eyes.

“Let’s...hold hands again...Come on...”

You grab hold of his hand.

“Your hand...is very soft, isn’t it? Drowning in the sensation of you amidst the darkness like this...feels wonderful...I feel as if...we’ve grown even closer...As if all walls between us have crumbled...and we’ve become one...Don’t you...feel the same way? Eve...? Hey...?”

You don’t respond.

“She fell asleep...huh? I guess...I rambled on for a bit too long...Such a cute sleeping face...Eve, I love you...Aah...If only, I could keep you here forever...However, I can’t do that, can I...? You are...the one and only Eve...and I’m just...Still, I love how you chose me regardless...

Goodnight, Eve... Sweet dreamsー...”

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) 痛いの痛いの飛んでいけ or ‘itaino, itaino, tonde-ike’ is a common phrase said to Japanese children to comfort them after they’ve hurt themselves. It literally means ‘pain, pain, fly away!’. 

(2) Literally he says a single ‘piece’ or ‘shard’, but since they’re talking about scent, the term ‘whiff’ seemed more appropriate in English. 

[bts-hyperfixation]

Soulmates

JJK X Reader soulmate AU

Warnings: Minor character death(car crash, only mentioned nothing graphic), Drinking

I don’t know if this is what you (the requester) were going for? this is somehow where I ended up

Everyone in this world has a soulmate. Someone that is meant to complete them and make them feel whole.

Your other half can be identified by the matching birthmark hidden somewhere on their body. There are also a lot of people whose marks are so close to matching that it almost feels like the real thing… almost. Sadly, many don’t ever get to experience the love of their true soulmate, so they settle for the closest they can get.

Jungkook was convinced he was one of the lucky few. Looking at her made his heart feel like it was going to burst. Every time he saw her the world got brighter, the birds started singing a little louder, and his stress nearly melted away entirely … nearly. But at 17 no one is going to pay attention to nearly.

Their birthmark’s matched so closely, each sporting a small puzzle piece on opposite wrists. You wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at the loved-up pair as they walked together hand in hand. And he loved her so completely, and her him, that they never thought to question it. Madly in love until the day she died.

Jungkook spent weeks almost comatose when the news of her car crash reached him. Couldn’t move, eat, sleep. To lose your soulmate so young was said to be a fate worse than never finding them at all. Even after coming through the other side people could tell he wasn’t the same carefree young boy he had been, most likely never would be again. His eyes’ looked far older than his years now, his soft features much more angular.

Three months after her death he resolve to never fall in love again, happy in the knowledge that he got to know her even for such a short amount of time.

….

You met Jungkook at a party. Someone from Uni decided that 24 was the right age for a big birthday bash. They hired out an entire club and set up a series of activities for people to enjoy. A mechanical ball on the main floor, a ball pit to the side, a BBQ in the smoking area, and a bouncy castle in the downstairs 90’s themed area. It really was an amazing event. You however spent most of your time watching the quiet Korean boy in the corner, every time his eyes met yours you felt compelled to move to him, talk to him, dance with him, anything that would get his attention on you. At the time you put it down to the alcohol. It took you exactly 3 and a half drinks to pick up the courage and interrupt his current conversation.

He was very sweet, really sweet considering he clearly didn’t want to be talking to you. It was evident in the way his eyes shifted and the nervous playing with his sleeves, still you persevered. Something about him wouldn’t let you give up, not yet at least. Your saving grace came when your favourite band came blaring over the speakers. “PRETTYMUCH” aren’t an underrated band per say but it’s difficult to find someone who knows them in your circle, so when Jungkook’s face lit up at the same time as yours you knew you had your in. So with the Phases remix blaring through the club you took your opportunity.

“I love this song!” You took his hand and pulled him on to the dance floor before you really realised that’s what you are doing. To start with he was frozen, a little shocked by your boldness, but as you gave it your all he joined in, loosening up for the first time that entire night. After that it was a lot easier to talk to him, you actually went into the smoking area to talk more about shared music interests.

After you went to get a drink you got caught up with some others and he came to find you. It felt like an electric shock when he’d grabbed your hand to get your attention, but there were a lot of balloons around so that would explain the residual electricity. By the time the party was over, and the club was closing, you didn’t want to leave him, not just now but ever. You found yourselves wandering around aimlessly, talking about nothing until the sun came up. Looking back it was then you decided Jungkook was it for you. You had never really believed in the soulmate tradition until you met him.

Weeks go by of you texting back and forth. You found out the reason he was so into music was because he was a musician himself, he even promised to perform for you sometime. A lot of promises were made in those messages.

‘There’s this amazing Restaurant in the city’ you claimed promising to take him with you next time.

‘I really want to see this movie’ he said promising to pay for tickets when it came out.

‘We should go see this band together’ The number one promise between the two of you, quickly racking up a lot of different acts to see together.

So when one of those bands turned up on the roster for the local you’d bought tickets immediately sending him the confirmation. Your stomach had fluttered thinking about seeing him in person again. And so you counted down the days as they passed. Picked and repicked your outfit. Talked yourself in and out of going. Eventually the day arrived. The doorbell signalling his arrival was deafening, ringing out through your small studio apartment. You took a few deep breaths before opening the door.

He was flawless, your tipsy memory hadn’t done him justice. A broad chest draped in a white long sleeve tee, ripped skinnies straining against his thighs, his hair swept into a James Dean quiff. You might’ve laughed at the way your outfits had accidently matched (a black crop with white skinnies) had you been capable of making a noise.

“Ready to go?” He asked nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. You’d nodded, blushing when you realised you had been staring.

It was a short bus ride into the town centre. Spent in relatively comfortable silence arms brushing against one another in the limited space on the crowded vehicle. The club was packed wall to wall when you got inside, no hope of getting to the front of the crowd, or so you’d thought. Jungkook grabbed your hand winked at you and began heading in the opposite direction of the stage. He led you up some back stairs and on to a balcony you hadn’t ever noticed before.

“I’ve played here before, almost no one knows this is here, but it will give us the perfect view.” He dropped your hand in favour of leaning over the railing. You couldn’t help but feel cold at the loss. The performance was great, you found yourselves screaming lyrics back and forth at one another. Some people had cottoned on to your little hiding spot and soon it became as packed as the rest of the club. Whether he was trying to protect you from the others or he was pushed there you will never know, but Jungkook ended up caging you to the railing, head resting on your shoulder.

After the show you’d decided it was time to ask him how he felt. The club was still busy, but the two of you had been in a quiet corner on your own nursing drinks and chatting aimlessly.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” You asked, broaching the topic carefully. You watched closely for his reaction, but he gave nothing away. Instead he just shrugged.

“I did once.” It was too blunt, you knew you should’ve stopped but you couldn’t, now you’d decided to tell him it was like verbal diarrhoea.

“I didn’t think I did, I mean I’ve never seen any ‘matching birthmarks’ and every couple I know is perfectly happy… but then I met you and I keep thinking about it, and you, and how I feel about you.” You watched as his face goes from pensive to a deer caught in the headlights.

“I… I have to leave now.” He got up and ran into the crowd before you even had a chance to reach for him. He dipped through a back entrance of the club and into the night before you could even push through the first layer of people.

The ride home had seemed a lot longer. Holding back tears had proved extremely difficult. Of all the reactions he could’ve given you that might’ve been the worst one. Somehow you found yourself thinking even him laughing in your face might’ve been better. You left the lights in your studio switched off that night. Made a beeline for your bed and passed out face down.

It would’ve felt like a bad dream when you woke up… if it hadn’t been for the crusty mascara tracking down your cheeks. You’d picked up your phone from where it lay abandoned next to you. Battery on 12%. You’d decided then it’d be best to run damage control, at least save the friendship.

Y/N: I’m sorry about last night…

You hadn’t expected his reply to be quick, so it’d surprised you when the typing bubbles appeared immediately; and furthered your sadness when they disappeared moments later without a message.

For days you spiralled. Going over the moment again and again in your head. Each replay turning the memory into something worse than the original.

Eventually you plucked yourself out of bed, deciding to face the problem head on and talk to the friend that invited you both to their birthday in the first place.

She met you at a café downtown during her lunch break. It was obvious by your red rimed eyes and sniffling nose that you had been crying but she was nice enough to ignore it for the most part. You caught up on her life for a little while until you physically couldn’t hold back anymore.

You told her exactly what had happened between you and JK, watching as her expression got both more understanding and pitying as you got closer to the end. Whatever you thought she was going to tell you was no where close to the story you got. You sat mouth wide open as she told you about the accident, and the way it affected Jungkook. It made you want to cry all over again. You didn’t know what to say once she had finished, stewing in your own thoughts for a while. The main thought that kept coming to the front of your mind was one that made you feel so evil. But you had to get it out

“What if she wasn’t really his soulmate. What if he was never meant for her” Its barely above a whisper but your friend heard it.

“He truly believes that she was” She replied squinting at you. Her break ended shortly after that leaving you alone with your thoughts.

…

It’s almost a month later when you see Jungkook again. Hadn’t heard a single thing from him since the concert but at least you knew why.

This time it was someone pool party. You honestly hadn’t been expecting to see him there. Didn’t even know you had mutual friends past that one girl. You didn’t think twice about your birthmark when you stripped down to your two piece. Why would you? Everyone has one. You were lay out on a sun-lounger with a drink when you spotted him. Tucked away in a corner once again, the only difference this time was his attention was already on you. He looked as good as ever, hair damp and slicked back, Long-sleeved neoprene shit covering his torso but trunks showing off his amazing thighs. You’d forced yourself to look away form him but could still feel the intensity of his gaze on you.

Eventually you couldn’t take it anymore, too hot under the sun and his stare you decided to change out of your swimsuit into a sundress for the evening. Heading inside you found your way into someone’s bedroom to get changed. Perhaps you should’ve checked to see if the door the locked though, because just as you had wiggled out of the bikini top Jungkook burst into the room.

“Ah shit… Sorry… I um.” His hand had flown in front of his eyes as he’d slammed the door shut behind him and you’d immediately reached for the flimsy dress pulling it over you torso so he could reopen his eyes.

“What in the actual fuck Jungkook?” you whisper screamed not wanting to draw attention to the two of you hidden away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t think… I just needed to see…”

“See what?! My boobs? I think you managed that one perv. You haven’t spoken to me in weeks and now all of a sudden you can’t wait long enough to knock.” You came across a lot meaner than you had meant, you just hadn’t been prepared for him to want to speak to you again.

“No I’m sorry I’ll go, this was a bad idea, I was probably seeing things anyway.” He mumbled looking sheepishly at the floor/

“No wait it’s okay, I really want to apologise don’t leave.” You took a deep breath and waited for his eyes to meet yours properly. When they did you could see the shock behind them.

“Why do you need to apologise? I’m the one that ran off, I never even told you why and I fucked up and I’m sorry I just…” You reached for him then, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and then realised it wasn’t your place, arm dropping heavily back to your side. “I felt so guilty with you, not because of you, because of me.” You nodded in understanding.

“I found about your soulmate after I confessed to you. I’m so sorry I didn’t know. I never would’ve brought it up if I had known you had already found yours.” You’d broken eye contact with him then unable to watch the sadness in his eyes and not be able to do anything about it.

“That’s why I felt so guilty though because the way I feel about you is so similar to the way I felt about her, how I still feel about her deep down. I was so confused because you’re only supposed to get one soulmate, and if I could feel the same way about you in such a short time… it just feels like I’m betraying her by loving you.” He stepped forward reaching for your chin and forced you to meet his gaze. “The today when I saw your birthmark on your thigh I could’ve cried.” He uses his free hand to unzip the shirt he’d been wearing. He pulled his left arm from the sleeve exposing his birthmark to you. A puzzle piece to fit perfectly into your own.

You’d gasped at the revelation you were right. He was meant to be yours. And yet it didn’t feel right. The anguish on his face was clear, the internal fight he had obviously been having with himself ever since the concert.

“Letting yourself love me now doesn’t mean you loved her any less” you whispered, allowing yourself to move even closer to him, wrapping him in your arms. He’d nuzzled into your neck allowing tears to stream down his cheeks and onto your shoulder. You’d felt every bit of stress leave his body as he cried. Emotions he hadn’t even know he had been holding onto, finally letting himself really breath since he had lost her all those years ago.

You’d lost track of the time, just stood with him, holding him until the final few sniffles came. His cheeks had been puffy by and red when he pulled away, wiping his face on the sleeve still on his right arm.

“Do you want to leave? We can go back to mine” You’d asked carefully, not willing to let him go home alone after feeling like that. He’d nodded weakly, sliding his arm back into the shirt before taking your hand in his. You’d headed for the door only to be brought back by the hand he had on yours. He’d pulled you so close you could see the flecks of gold in his irises, watched your reaction before leaning in and kissing you. It was salty with left over tears, but you wouldn’t change you first kiss for the world. Everything felt like it clicked into place in that moment, the world tilted on its axis. The exchange was short lived, a chaste peck followed by a few smaller pecks before he let you lead him all the way home.

Masterlist

[witcher-and-his-bard-archive]

Locked Out

winter prompts day 10 ❄️ lost in a storm

 If Jaskier was a stupider man, he'd be confused about the sheer amount of times he and Geralt seem to be getting stuck places together. But he and Geralt had been the first to arrive and these things only started happening after both Eskel and Lambert had reached the keep. Jaskier can put two and two together and come to the conclusion that none of this is an accident.

Unfortunately for him, Jaskier also knows why it's happening. Witchers can smell all sorts of stupid, inconvenient shit, one of the more prominent (and most inconvenient) of those being the changes in human emotion. Meaning that if Jaskier wants to keep his feelings to himself, he has to try very hard to do so. And he discovered almost as soon as the other Witchers showed up that he is terrible at it. The only conclusion he can come to is that between the four of them, they've come to the (albeit correct) conclusion, that Jaskier is hopelessly in love with Geralt, and set themselves to the task of getting together.

What they don't know, is that Geralt barely tolerates Jaskier at the best of times and getting them together is a lost cause. He wants to confront them about it, but he rather likes the time he gets to spend alone with Geralt, whether they're cooking or cleaning or chopping wood. Geralt is different up at the keep than he is on the Path and Jaskier likes this friendlier, more open side of him. So, as long as no one is getting hurt (himself notwithstanding) he decides there's nothing wrong with their little game. They think they're solving a problem and Jaskier gets to spend some time with his friend in a place that's comfortable for him.

Then, one day, they're all gathered in the main hall. Vesemir has long grown tired of Geralt and Lambert's bickering and has retired to his room or the library or wherever it is he goes when he's had enough. Jaskier is once again left alone with the younger wolves and Aiden and he's enjoying the conversation, but he finds himself tuning out more and more often tonight, wondering what it was like to grow up in a place like this.

He knows it was very different then, that there were many more Witchers who called Kaer Morhen home, but he doesn't dare ask more than that. He's gleaned enough from the little bits and pieces from Geralt to know that his childhood was not a happy one and if he's happier here now, Jaskier doesn't want to stir up bad memories.

Jaskier doesn't realize he's staring at Geralt until Lambert nudges him. He shales his head and turns around to a very smug look.

"Aiden's gonna grab drinks," Lambert says, "why don't you and Geralt go get more firewood while we settle up in here." Jaskier nods obediently, casting a quick look in Geralt's direction to see if he suspects anything. Geralt just sighs as he rises to his feet. Jaskier follows suit and traipses after Geralt toward the large doors.

They've only been outside a couple of seconds when Jaskier hears the doors click shut behind them and the sound of the lock being slid across. He spins on his heel immediately and Geralt takes a few steps back, pressing on the door, to no avail.

"You can come back in when you figure your shit out!" Lambert calls through the door. Jaskier can hear them mumbling afterward, but it's too quiet to hear properly. Geralt sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Idiots," he mumbles and turns back to Jaskier. He seems surprisingly calm, but Jaskier feels immediately guilty. This is his fault. He shouldn't have let the game go on for so long and now they're stuck out in the cold until, well, until Lambert and his cohorts decide that they've figured their shit out - something Jaskier knows won't happen.

Fuck. He should have talked to Eskel when he had the chance. He knows Eskel would have listened, that he wouldn't want to force Geralt into something he's uncomfortable with. He might have even talked to Lambert and Aiden about it, gotten them to call it off as well, but Jaskier had been greedy. He had wanted too badly to spend time with Geralt that he hadn't considered things might get out of hand, and now they have.

All at once, he realizes the only way to solve this is to own up to his own feelings. Maybe it will make Geralt uncomfortable for a little while and maybe he won't want to travel with him any longer, but it's his fault for not saying something earlier. Now, it's the only thing he can do to fix this.

He turns to try to explain to Geralt, but when he does, Geralt is smirking back at him.

"Bastards," he mumbles, "what do you say we beat them at their own game?"

Jaskier, stunned, just looks at him.

"I-" if that's what Geralt wants, how could Jaskier turn him down considering this is his fault. "Alright, what do you have in mind?"

"Find somewhere to hide out until they come looking for us," Geralt smirks. Jaskier finds himself at a loss. Ever since coming to Kaer Morhen, he's been continuously surprised about how much fun Geralt really could be when he was comfortable enough to let go. He finds himself agreeing without even thinking through what a terrible idea this could actually be.

"Come on," Geralt says, "we'll head up to the old watchtower and watch them from there."

It's a great idea in theory. In practice, Jaskier will be oblivious to whatever Geralt is watching and he's already wondering why he agreed to this. They barely make it down the hill before it starts to snow and Jaskier sighs to himself. He doesn't quite understand why he's feeling so bad about all of this because Geralt seems to be having a perfectly fine time with it and regularly Jaskier would be thrilled to (team up) with him, but tonight, he's still feeling a little guilty about everything.

A part of him is even hoping Geralt will turn around when the snow starts, but he doesn't and it only starts to snow more heavily. Jaskier does his best to keep up but finds he's falling behind and eventually gives up when he loses sight of Geralt altogether.

"Geralt!" he shouts and for a moment there's no response. Great, he was stupid enough to keep playing along with this and now he's going to die for it, lost and frozen in the middle of fucking nowhere.

He drops to his knees in the snow and is almost immediately hauled back up to his feet. Geralt's arm wraps around his shoulders and suddenly Jaskier is being walked forward through the snow. He has no idea if they're going in the same direction or if they've turned around, but he trusts Geralt to keep him safe.

He doesn't know how long they walk before coming upon a partial structure, half-buried in the snow. Jaskier is pushed inside and Geralt follows shortly, brushing the snow off of himself and then Jaskier. Before he can stop to consider his options, Jaskier is being tugged down into Geralt's lap and bundled up in his arms. He squirms but Geralt holds him close.

"Just... let me warm you up. You're nearly frozen." Jaskier wants to point out that it's Geralt's fault he's nearly frozen, but he's feeling more miserable than bitter.

Reluctantly, he lets Geralt hold him and hopes that he's considered warmed up sooner rather than later. He relaxes into it after a moment, but he's hyperaware of every place they touch. Geralt's hands are warm and comforting, but when they slip under the hem of his shirt, Jaskier pulls away.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, "I can't let you do this."

"Do... what?" Geralt asks. The expression on his face is a combination of hurt and confusion and Jaskier hates it, but he knows this is for the best.

"Treat me like this," he mumbles. "It's my fault we're in this place."

"Jaskier, I wasn't going to force you through the snow-"

"I don't mean here in this little shack, Geralt. I mean locked outside the keep in the first place." At this point, Geralt looks at him like he's speaking a whole other language and Jaskier sighs. His shoulders slump and he braces himself, but he supposes it was bound to come out at some point. It's been twenty years, after all.

"You know what they're doing, right?" Jaskier asks and Geralt shrugs.

"Being idiots."

"No." Jaskier pauses, but he can't bring himself to look up at Geralt. He's imagined telling Geralt how he feels time and time again, but he never expected it to be an apology. "Geralt they're trying to get us alone together on purpose. Because of my- because of the way I feel about you. Witchers can smell feelings or whatever, right? And I'm not as good at hiding it as I thought I was, so they've obviously figured it out. And I know they're just trying to help, but they don't realize that you don't-" he chokes on the words He's thought they dozens of times, but knowing Geralt doesn't feel the same and saying it out loud are two different things.

"Jask?" Geralt says softly and when Jaskier looks up, he's moved closer and he's smiling softly at him. "Is that why you think they're doing this?" Jaskier nods and Geralt sighs and shuts his eyes. "Jaskier, come here."

"Are you sure?"

"Jaskier."

"Okay, okay." He shuffles closer again, letting Geralt's arms wind around him. He tries not to press into him, but the hut is cold and Geralt is so warm and he smells wonderful, like leather and smoke and home and Jaskier is so worried about being so close that he doesn't realize Geralt is talking until he rests his chin on Jaskier's head.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Uh. Yes?" Geralt sighs and does something that Jaskier can only assume is nosing at his hair.

"I didn't know about your... feelings. I thought they were just fucking with me." His arms close in a little tighter and Jaskier is too confused to fight against it. Geralt chuckles softly and Jaskier is fairly certain he's actually imagining things when he feels soft lips press against his head. "If I'd known you were amenable, I would have kissed you a long time ago and gotten them off our backs."

At that, Jaskier is certain something is wrong. Geralt doesn't just say things like that. He pulls out of his arms, turning to face him.

"Are you sick?" he asks and Geralt tips forward, swiftly closing the space between them and catching Jaskier's lips in a soft kiss.

Jaskier's mind goes entirely blank and he forgets what he's supposed to do with someone's mouth against his own. Then, Geralt's thumb comes up to brush against his cheek and when Geralt deepens the kiss, Jaskier moans softly and his reflexes take over, leaning into the kiss and wrapping his arms around Geralt's shoulders.

Without hesitation, Geralt winds his arms around his waist, hauling Jaskier up into his lap and leaning back against the wall. The kiss seems to last an eternity and no time at all and when Jaskier pulls away it's only because he's abruptly aware that he still needs to breathe.

"Oh," he breathes and Geralt smiles at him, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair back behind Jaskier's ear.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time."

"Me too. I suppose this means we'll have to thank the other?"

Geralt chuckles as he curls a hand around the back of Jaskier's neck and draws him close for another kiss. "Not a chance."

[ask-hunterxhunter]

Can I have the trouble trio with a pregnant s/o? Hiw do they handle the pregnancy? How do they handle labor and holding their newborn for the first time.

Feitan

Pregnancy will be a huge surprise for Feitan. Oh, it’s not that he didn’t know it could happen, it’s just one of those things that seem to happen only to other people. Cue a mix of emotions, to the point he may not react for a second: Happiness, nervousness, insecurity… It will take a while for Feitan to get used to the idea. Yes, he is happy, he is, but he can’t imagine himself as a father, he isn’t sure he would be a good one… At the same time, he is just so excited and happy about this!

Few people would be able to notice this mess of emotions he’s going through (you being one of the exceptions) because Feitan would keep that cold self-control of his while secretly checking books about pregnancy and babies (something not even the most suicidal person would mock him for).

 Many would regard Feitan as an uninterested father-to-be since he would keep that cold attitude of his, to the point a few people would send him dirty looks while you’re out buying stuff for the baby and he seems almost bored. It’s not exactly the case… First, some of the things you’re checking do seem to be exactly the same, so whichever you pick is fine. Second, there will be times when his “any-of-those-is-fine” is not disinterest, but because he genuinely thinks that any of those options are good. And while it seems he just picked a few things at random and tossed them inside the cart, believe me, it was carefully chosen. Others won’t see it, but you know him enough to feel the warmth beneath his actions.

 This warmth, like always, is something you can only notice when you’re together. That’s when he will touch your stomach, perhaps whisper a few words to the baby (when he believes you’re sleeping)… Feitan will have the natural worries of a father-to-be and want to give you the best care he can.

 When it’s time for the baby to be born, well, nothing will keep him from being there in the room with you. Not that anyone will ask him to, since Feitan will (again) give the impression of a perfectly collected and calm person (perhaps even a little too much for certain people’s opinion), but it’s in the way he holds your hand, how he whispers to you and how he keeps looking from you to the doctor that shows he’s both excited and nervous.

 Once Feitan holds the baby for the first time… Well, it’s a moment to behold. It’s rare to see his features so soft, how his gaze becomes less severe, the way he smiles… It’s actually one of the very few times no one can tell he’s a sadistic murderer. Internally, he will swear to always be there for his child. It’s… Pretty sweet, actually. Perhaps a little weird/disturbing considering who Feitan is, but still.

 Now, while he never, and I mean never, doubts being part of the Spider, this doesn’t mean he isn’t aware of the complications involved in raising a baby when you’re a wanted criminal. No, I don’t mean “Oh, I want my child to be a good person, I should change my life around” style (please, have you met this guy?), but in the realistic sense: Moving around, staying away from you and the baby for long periods of time while he “works”, having to deal with those who hunt the Spider (he wouldn’t show it, but he would be terrified at the idea of Hisoka killing you or the baby), it’s simply not exactly the best.

 Feitan would not renounce the Spider, but he would try to balance things in the best way possible, such as not joining in any jobs during the baby’s first months, being there as you recover from giving birth, so on. And because the Troupe is so united, some of the members would offer help whenever they can.

 Phinks

He is kind of a “freaked-out-soon-to-be-dad” sort of guy (though he tries to hide it as best as he can). He may have thought about having children, but when it finally happens, it just catches him off guard. It’s not that he isn’t happy, far from it! So much that his first reaction is just to hug you! But the questions of pregnancy/fatherhood keep hitting him: There are so many things to buy. Oh, he needs to keep you safe, he can’t let those who hate the Spider find out about the baby. Will he be a good dad? He doesn’t know a thing about pregnancies, how can he help you? Oh, you need to find a good doctor. Wait, what if the baby doesn’t like him?  

 Those are normal questions, though, and you go through them together (just as with the same questions that may hit you). Whenever you’re in doubt or nervous, Phinks will be there to give you support, just like you do when he’s the one unsure about the future. Hey, being a thief and a murderer is one thing, being a father is… Is quite different.

 Those doubts don’t stop Phinks from being simply thrilled at the idea of being a dad at the end of the day. Oh, you don’t have to worry about him being the “embarrassingly-loud-and-excited” sort of person in public (c’mon, he has manners), but it’s pretty clear that he loves buying stuff for the baby with you, preparing the room, thinking about names… In those moments, he is not a murderer or a member of the Spider, he is simply a man in love who is expecting his first child. And while he also keeps his usual posture with the other members of the Spider, they can see he is over the moon with joy (a few members may even joke a little about it). Now, when he’s alone with you, there is often this goofy smile on his face when he touches your stomach and whispers to the bay. And when the baby starts kicking, Phinks is drunk with happiness.

 Speaking of which, while the last month approaches, Phinks becomes… A little (more) too excited/nervous. As the “predicted” day approaches, any moan or whimper from you will have him rushing to your side asking if it’s the time.

 So you can imagine how he gets when the actual day arrives. He’s there with the camera, all happy and while he won’t pester the doctors with every little detail, trying to tell them how to do their job, he is so nervous that you’d think he is the one giving birth (he tries to hide it and be calm for your sake, yes. Let’s just be honest: He fails). However, if it becomes too much and the doctors call his attention, Phinks will regain his self-control.

 When the baby is born, Phinks may hesitate to hold it… He is so used to hurt people and the baby looks so small and fragile that he fears he will hurt it by accident. It takes a gentle coaxing, perhaps you showing him to do it, but when he does it, it’s like something changes in him… You can see his eyes brightening, the way he smiles and gently talks to his child… He may not know how to be a father. His own childhood may not have been perfect (hey, he’s from Meteor City, does that seem like a place full of happy childhoods?), but damn if he won’t do his best for his child. It’s like, for that moment, he isn’t a murderer or a member of the Spider or anything, except for a man holding his baby for the first time.

 Like with Feitan, don’t expect the birth of a child to change his views, okay? The “change” mentioned is just how something (often) changes when a woman becomes a mother. It doesn’t strictly mean Phinks will become a good person and repent. Like with Feitan, he will try to balance his lifestyle and raising a child the best he can, but that’s it. Well, when you got together with him, you knew who he was, so you shouldn’t expect anything different.

 Shalnark

Shalnark will go from the “wait, what did you say” to “this is the best news ever” in a matter of seconds. Despite who he is, it’s kinda of cute (that innocent face of his do help). Maybe he wasn’t planning on having children, maybe he never thought about it, but he is thrilled when it happens (which may surprise him a little if he never considered it before, since Shalnark is not exactly a “family man” type). Once he processes the news, he isn’t sure he can wait nine whole months for the baby to arrive!

 Shalnark is at once completely on board about being a father, though he has no idea of how to do it (cue him buying lots of books and checking many sites). It gets to the point no one would ever suspect of him being part of the Spider when you’re out together buying things for the baby or visiting the doctor, especially when he offers that “good boy” smile of his.

 Of course he has the same worries that everyone else has (especially if/since this is his first child), but almost no one can notice it, except for you due to how well you know Shal. Yes, he is excited and confident most of the time, but there are always those moments when he can’t help but consider possible issues… It just happens. Now, when you two go out, he is that happy future dad that wants to buy just everything for the baby (and if he’s in doubt between two pieces of clothing? He buys both of them!), who can’t wait for the baby to start kicking… Again, many people watching from afar wouldn’t believe this guy is a member of the Phantom Troupe.

 Shalnark is not as reserved as Feitan and Phinks when he is with the other members of the Spider. During a job, he will be as focused and deadly as ever… As soon as it is over, while they check the profit and results, Shaknark will end up commenting about how you’ve been feeling, how he can’t wait for the baby to be born, how he can’t believe he will be a dad… Some members will find it kinda of cute (Shalnark knows how to make such a cute face that you just can’t be mad at him) and be happy for him, while others might hope the baby will be born soon just to see if he’ll shut up then. It’s not that he’s obnoxious or annoying about it, but some of them just aren’t interested in the whole “family” subject, you know?

 It might be surprising, but Shalnark can be sweet when he’s with you, so during those months he will love to have extra cuddle time, touching your stomach, thinking about the baby (hoping he will feel it move soon), imagining the future… And also already imagining training the little one to join the Spiders one day as well.

 When you start to give birth, Shalnark is actually rather good with it. He’s excited and a little nervous, yes, but as soon as you lay on the table, he stays at your side, holding your hand, talking calmly with you.

 When he sees the baby, he is already feeling that warmth of being a father… When you suggest that he holds it, however, he hesitates for a second before doing it. It’s a strange sensation for Shalnark: He is so used to see people as objects, to only care about the Spiders and you, that he is surprised at how his feelings suddenly hit him. It’s a bit like when he realized he was in love with you, but different. He slowly grows more comfortable with the baby in his arms, gently touches its face and tiny hands… So small, so delicate… For a while, Shalnark will just sit at your side, holding the baby. For once, he won’t be thinking about the future, about the Spider, or anything else that is not you and the baby.

 It's just for a moment and it won’t last (he will never stop being who and what he is, after all, no more than any of the others would), but it’s a sweet moment all the same.

[ghostdrew22]

Can i get a draco x reader where the reader is obsessed with the yule ball but unfortunately she gets into a accident so she in a wheel chair for a few days and draco likes the reader so he makes her day memorable by picking her up and making her dance like the scene in twilight.

Requested: Yes Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!reader Warnings: a bit of angst i guess, swearing, insecurity, an injury, asshole!theo nott Summary: Draco x reader where the reader gets injured before the Yule Ball and Draco swoops in to make the night memorable for her.

WORDS : 2451

Not going to lie, I struggled a bit with this one and I ended up focusing more on the build up than the actual scene but I hope you like it because I’m quite happy with the way it turned out.

Lyric snippets I used are from “High School Sweethearts” by Melanie Martinez and they’re not in chronological order, I honestly just put them in randomly.

Anyway, love you all,

jean <3

<~>

“Y//N, I’m bored.” Draco grumbles as he sits down on your lap- resting all of his body weight on you and trying to annoy you.

You grunt at the action but get comfortable regardless- propping your chin up on his shoulder and resting your arms around his waist like you usually do when he sits on you for fun. “Well, we could go over plans for Friday.”

“If I have to hear you talk about that damn ball one more time I swear to Merlin I’m going to kill myself in the Black Lake.”

“Promise?” You ask perkily and he lifts up one of his hands to flick your head, “Sorry!”

You both laugh and he rolls off of you and into the seat beside you. “Okay but seriously, I’m bored.”

You laugh and shake your head as you get off the couch, “I’m going to do my muggle studies homework in the library- if you come along then when we’re done we can do whatever you like.” You offer your best friend and he tilts his head to the side as he considers your offer before grinning and jumping off the couch.

“You’ve chosen some very bad words.”

“You also have to listen to my Yule Ball ideas.” You add and he groans.

“That’s not fair-“

“Take it or leave it.”

“Fine.” He mumbles with an eye-roll as the two of you walk out of the Slytherin commons and toward the library.

“And damn it, if you fuck me over I will rip your fucking face apart”

“If you cheat, you will die, die”

“So I was talking to Theo and he basically suggested that we wear matchin-“ As you and Draco walk toward the library, and you relay all of your thoughts regarding the Yule Ball to him, you come across Theodore Nott. Your date to the Yule Ball- technically your boyfriend considering the fact that you’ve been flirting with each other for weeks- shoved up against a wall with another girl’s lips on his.

You and Draco freeze in the hallway and take in the scene- trying to decide how best to react. Draco takes a step forward- ready to defend your honour- but you’ve already yanked the girl away from Theo by her hair and swung your fist straight into his face.

“You must accept that I’m a little out of my mind”

A crackling sound is heard followed by the shriek of your voice- “You filthy piece of shit!”

Theo stumbles backward then grips his bleeding nose in shock- obviously not expecting you to have had such a strong hook- “You bitch!”

“I guess your mother and I have something in common then.” You spit back and his eyes widen in fury as he regains his balance and walks toward you.


“What the fuck did you just say?”

“I know that it’s dark and lonely in there for your two single braincells but I feel like the quip was quite straightforward. You are a son of a bitch.” You grit out with venom lacing your words and Draco sucks in a large breath from behind the two of you- watching the scene unfold and deciding that it’s best to let you handle it.

Theo laughs coldly and runs a fist beneath his nostrils to wipe away some dripping blood, “This is exatly why I didn’t make things official with you, you’re fucking psychotic.”

“Oh please, you’ve got to have something better than that.” You scoff and roll your eyes.

“If you can't handle the choking, the biting The loving, the smothering 'Til you can't handle it no more, no more Go home”

“You know what? You’re right.” He sniffs and bends down a little lower so that you’re both eye level- just so that he can patronise you. “You’re clingy, bitchy and honestly I could do a lot better than you looks-wise. You make me want to bash my head into a wall and the only reason I asked you to the Yule Ball, and flirted with you, was to get Daphne Greengrass’s attention.”

“Fine, since I make you so goddamn miserable we can end all of this here.” You crane your neck and shrug, “If you can’t handle me then you can fuck right off.”

“I will!”


“Theo-“ Draco calls out to the fellow Slytherin, perhaps hoping to talk him out of the stupid decision he’s about to make, but Theo’s having none of it.

“Oh, sod off!” Theo shouts back as he walks away from you and Draco and gives you both the middle finger.

You take a moment to breathe before the adrenaline runs out and the searing pain in your fist comes rushing at full force. “Ow, crap!” You exclaim as you hurriedly grab your bag from off the floor and start running toward Madame Pomfrey.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Draco shouts from behind you as he tries to run with you.

“Run faster!” You shout with a giggle as you turn to stick your tongue out at him. Then it happens.

You turn back to watch where you’re running, but it’s too late and before you know it, you’re tumbling down one of the many flights of stairs that graces Hogwarts.

~~~

“You’re such a dumb shit.” Draco mumbles from beside you with a chuckle.

“I know, shut up.” You snap back at him but you can’t hide the slight smile tugging on your lips.

After your beatdown fight with the stairs, you got carried to Madame Pomfrey’s and had to be treated for your fist injury as well as the ones you sustained from your tumble. She was quick to give you a potion for pain and immediately got started examining you- deducing that you’d sprained one of your legs and hit your head, but not hard enough to contract a concussion.

So now you’re sat in one of the beds with your leg hanging above you in a cast, a bandage wrapped around your head and one wrapped around your fist. Madame Pomfrey walks back with a wheelchair and gives you a stern look as she gently unhooks your leg and lays it down on the bed.

“Now, you’re going to need to use this for a week, then after the initial week I will examine you again and either remove your cast or put you on crutches.”

“Wait, a week?” You furrow your eyebrows and she nods, “But the Yule Ball is in three days.” You frown.

“You won’t be able to dance but you can still have a nice time.” She offers you a wayward smile and you nod faintly with a thin smile- trying not to think about how the night you’d had perfectly planned out for weeks is suddenly coming apart before your eyes.

She helps you into the wheelchair and then her and Draco have an exchange in which he promises to get you to dinner, and back to the dorms, in one piece. Then before you know it Draco is wheeling you out of the ward and toward the Great Hall, but you’re not particularly hungry and instead want to lie down.

“Draco?”

“Hm?”

“Do you mind just taking me to my dorm? I’m not in the mood to eat.”

He stops abruptly and peers his head round your shoulder so that you can see each other, “You’re not hungry? It’s apple pie night.”

“I’m not in the mood for apple pie.”

“Uh oh, what’s wrong?”

“You mean besides the fact that I technically just got cheated on and then landed myself in a wheelchair, leaving me injured and dateless three days before the Yule Ball?” You raise your eyebrows and he laughs, “Nothing really.”

“Okay that’s fair… You want to talk?” You shake your head in response and he nods silently as he thinks. “Okay, how about I bring food up to your dorm and we can sit and eat it in silence together instead?”

“I can do that.”

So Draco does as you ask, despite it being a very long trip for him, and drops you off in your dorm room before collecting dinner for you both and returning to join you.

“Give me passion, don't make fun of my fashion”

You finish up your dinner with a laugh as Draco shakes his head at you.

“That’s a ghastly dress Y/N.” He says as he looks at the y/f/c dress you’d originally picked out for the Yule Ball- before you realised that the cut was too small and wouldn’t be accommodating to your hips.

“Hey!” You gasp and toss a pillow at him as you both laugh, “Don’t be rude.”

“I don’t have that setting.”

“I noticed.” You grumble and sigh as you fall back against your headboard.

“Are you sure that you’re okay?”

You look down at your fingers as you fiddle with them and make a thinking face, “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay- not knowing, I mean.” He reaches out for your hands and encapsulates them in his own, “What he did was shitty, it’s not your fault and none of the things he said about you are true. But it’s okay to be confused between anger, sadness, relief-“

“Relief?” You raise your eyebrows up at him in question with a smirk, “Why would I be relieved that he called me a clingy and psychotic bitch?”

“I-“

“I mean maybe that’s arousing for someone with a degradation kink like yourself but I found that quite demeaning.” You tease with a wide grin at the sight of his frustrated and annoyed features.

“You know I was going to offer myself up as your new date but-“ He trails off as you cut him off.

“I’m sorry! Please go with me?” You whine and he laughs.

“Since you’re begging…” You throw another pillow at him and he raises his hands up in surrender, “Okay, okay! I’d love to be your date to the Yule Ball.”

“I know you would.” You smile proudly.

“Pansy will just have to deal.”

~~~

“You can't be scared to show me off and hold my hand”

“Draco, are you sure this isn’t too much?” You peer your eyes up at him- referring to the dress his mother had tailor made for you.

“Y/N, my mother was more excited than you when I told her that we were going together and she could send you dresses tfor you to try- it’s nowhere near too much.” He reassures you with a chuckle.

“Thank you so much, it’s truly exquisite.”

“No, thank you.”

“For?”

“Giving me the opportunity to take the prettiest girl in our year out to the Yule Ball.”

“I don’t remember convincing Cho Chang to lower her standards to yo-“

“Why do I bother?” He mumbles to himself and you giggle.

“Thank you, and you look great too.”

“I know.” He smiles smugly before walking behind you so he can push your wheelchair. “Now let’s go in so that I can show off my incredible date and best friend.”

“If you think you can be my one and only true love You must promise to love me”

After an hour of you and Draco sitting by a table- eating, laughing, observing how ridiculous everyone looks on the dance floor- you start to feel an immense weight in the pit of your stomach, a reminder as to why you’re sat on a chair instead of dancing the night away with your date, and you have to look away from Draco to hide the tears that are pricking at your eyes.

He notices the change in your demeanor and furrows his eyebrows in confusion, trying to figure out what exactly changed your energy so quickly- then his eyes scan the room and land on Theo dancing with Daphne and a wave of realization hits him like a freight train. He clears his throat to drag your attention toward him and you swallow hard before plastering on a fake smile and meeting his eyes. “You know, she doesn’t look as good as you do.”

You tilt your head to the side in confusion for a second before registering that he’s referring to Daphne. “Oh.” You look back at her and Theo, “I really want to believe you but it’s kind of hard to do that when I’m staring straight at her holding the guy that picked her over me.”

“Bu-“

“It’s okay, really.” You give him a wayward smile, “I think I see why he likes her and not me, she’s just better.” You shrug before continuing, “There was some merit in Theo’s words that day, I am a bit much too handle and I guess she just isn’t.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.” Draco furrows his eyebrows at you, “There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re not too much Y/N, you’re just enough and he’s a fool not to see what an incredible person you are.”

“Drac-“

“I love you. And not like best friend love, like you’re my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my life with you love.” He interrupts you with his confession before he loses the nerve, once again, to tell you how much you mean to him. “And I know that we’re still young, it sounds ridiculous of me to say something like that so confidently but it’s true and I just know it.”

He takes a moment to breathe before continuing, “You don’t have to feel the same way, I honestly don’t expect you to, but I want you to know that I plan to love you forever whether it be as your best friend or more.”

“You’re such a sap.” You finally breathe out with a soft smile on your face once he’s done, “I love you too, you fucking idiot.”

“You’re so bloody rude.” He grumbles out with a grin, “But you’re still the only one for me.”

“That I am.” You laugh out with a smile. “I’m sorry that I got myself injured, we could be having our first dance right now.”

He goes silent for a moment before a grin sneaks its way onto his face suddenly, “Who said we can’t?”

“What do you mea-“

Before you can even finish he’s standing up, snaking his arms around your waist and delicately pulling you up off of your wheelchair and into his arms. You gasp at the sudden movements and struggle to find balance in his arms but he does the work for you and helps you rest one arm along his while he takes the other hand in his own fingers and holds you up by your waist- with your feet resting on his. “Is this okay? Are you comfortab-“

“It’s perfect.” You cut him off with a content sigh and a smile as you start to sway back and forth gently.

“You’re perfect.”

“I know.” You giggle.

“Cocky.” He scoffs before dropping his lips down to meet your own- making you heave another content sigh against his lips.

“Merlin, It was about time you disgusting lovebirds got together!” You hear Pansy utter from somewhere behind you and drop your head into Draco’s shoulder as you both laugh at her comment.

[hanniiesuckle17]

Dating Seo Changbin

A/n: I am so sorry this took so long!!! i hope you like it <3 oof its been a while since I've done this style so here we go

Requested: @mrsunshine999

Tag List: @distrikt9 @mini-meanhoee @poeticallyspaghetti @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @hoes4hoseok @yangomangos @jeonqqin @geminirules @crscendoforsung @mrsunshine999 @jisungsjheekies @hannie-squirrel00 @cotccotc @multi-net​

Warnings: cussing, changbin being best boi, 

First of all....reader you are one lucky bitch.

Dating THE changbin

damn

Changbin is definitely one of the more domestic boys

He thriiiives with being a cuddly soft boyfriend

You probably met his parents on like your fourth date

But it was like a surprise thing 

He was like “Stop by my place because I’ve got to take care of somethings before we go out”

and you were like sure whatever so you get there like twenty minutes early and knock on the door

changbin opens and says you can wait in the living room while he is grabbing some things

first of all you notice his house is super fuckin nice

you’re like “mental note to ask who his decorated is” 

so he goes off and you walk in the living room and there are his parents just looking at you with kind expectant smiles

and you’re like “ummmm.........hello........changbin’s parents....”

changbin is like walking in and out of the room completely unaware that you are lowkey shitting your pants because omg his parents are right there and you were not prepared for this you were just promised food

its then you realize this is his parents house and he freaking tricked you into meeting them

by the time he sits down next to you on the couch you’ve practically sweated through your nice outfit and answered a billion questions

“I told you, I pick good ones mom- OW!” 

you pinched him really hard and made a nervous look towards the door. 

He laugh and got the message

the two of you said goodbye and you proceeded to whack him very hard the second the door closed behind you

loves to spoil you

anytime you're mad at him the next day you find a very expensive flower arrangement as well as a nice piece of jewelry on your desk or doorstep

he never lets you pay for anything

in fact the most common argument you have is about him spending too much money on you or not letting you pay

one time after a really big fight he secretly paid your rent for the month (which led to you yelling at him again)

“CHANGBIN YOU PAID FOR MY RENT?!”

“I thought I was doing a nice thing!”

“Yes it was very nice but I want to do things for myself!”

“But you’re so....baby....my baby....I wanna take care of you.”

“I AM NOT BABY!”

he thinks you look really cute when you’re mad so you never really end up getting anywhere with arguments like that

changbin is definitely a huge cuddler

likes being both little and big spoon

his favorite sleeping position is probably you sleeping on top of his chest so he can hug you like a teddy bear (you have replaced Munchlax haha)

probably takes you on the most aesthetic dates

he loves being your personal photographer

he can’t show you off on the skz insta so he probably has like a separate private account just to post really cute pictures of the you and him

changbin is a huge fan of couple clothes 

like any kind

his favorite is finding couple shoes like sneakers. 

he likes knowing that he could wear them onstage and bring a piece of you into the public view but its like his lil secret

changbin is like super no no about scandals so after a few months he probably announces the relationship before the press even think he is in one

changbin is like the pinterest boyfriend 

like he strives to be pinterest worthy

the boys give him so much shit about it but like lowkey he doesn’t care he just steals their coffee or something in revenge

he probably keeps like special products for you in his apartment

he always has the coffee or tea you like stocked in his kitchen

changbin is definitely the type to love hard and love fast so once this boy has you locked down in a relationship he just goes all in

you two probably move in together pretty quickly because this boy is just so anxious to be around you all the time

lowkey whiny once you move in 

“y/nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!”

“changbin you've said my name like 18 times what the hell do you want”

“i wanna hug.”

tries to use aegyo to get out of chores and housework

“I love dark my ass.” you say shoving a laundry basket in his arms and watching him pout 

late night gym dates at like two in the morning

the boys lowkey getting jealous of how much time he spends with you

Felix and Hyunjin basically live at your apartment

you don’t know how they got keys but somehow they are always there 

you’ll wake up one morning and felix will be randomly asleep on your couch for no reason

your dates are often crash by one of the boys but you honestly don’t mind because they are so much fun

changbin is actually the most caring and empathetic boyfriend

he always seems to know when you have a bad day or are just feeling bad about yourself

sometimes you don't even understand how he knows 

you’ll just be laying in bed on your phone after a really rough day and wanting to cry and changbin will just come up and give you the warmest gentlest bear hug 

he won’t say anything but he’ll just hold you until you want to talk or just cry it out

lets be honest changbin hugs would be the best tho

like he hugs with his whole being

in a relationship i feel like he is super affectionate so hugs are pretty common but he probably hugs differently for different circumstances

like he gives really gentle hugs when your sad and strokes your hair, kissing the top of your head

probably a big fan of quick side hugs when you're in public or with the boys

big cuddly hugs when you’re alone where he can rock you side to side or flop onto the couch with you

so ‘i love you’

again changbin falls fast and hard so he would for sure be the first one to fall in love

but he wants you to say it first because he knows sometimes he can move too quickly and he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable

the first time you say it changbin is just so happy 

before you can even finish the sentence he’s already saying it back

“I love you-”

“I love you more.”

he never forgets an anniversary even if he is on tour

during one of their breaks he flew you out so you could celebrate together 

he loves traveling with you

even if its just a road trip or the two of you randomly decide to spend the weekend at a hotel that's thirty minutes from your house

changbin definitely knows what he wants in life so the second he decides you are the one for him he starts planning how he wants to spend his life with you

he loves having serious conversations with you about the future

changbin loves when the two of you invite all the boys over for dinner and it turns into a fancy dinner party and he cant help but picture you doing this five or six years from now and you have kids and are throwing dinner parties like this on the weekends

you too throw a HUGE Christmas party every year

like inviting lots of staff from the company and a bunch of family and friends 

so like one second you are talking to changbin’s sister and your mom then the next thing you know you are accidently bumping shoulders with fuckin BamBam from Got7 or Tzuyu from Twice and Jae is singing with Jisung in your living room

its like a huge fancy event that you and changbin throw at your place that you spend like a month planning for

everyone is dressed very nice and your house is spotless and flawlessly decorated with a brightly lit tree that you and changbin spent four hours decorating

by 9pm everyone is drunk on egg nog and opening presents from secret Santa 

changbin also never lets a Christmas go by without kissing you under the mistletoe 

the boys stay the night mostly because no one is sober enough to drag Jisung out of your house. 

So Christmas morning is always spent with the boys 

changbin always puts you first 

he is really considerate and always considers how his decisions will affect you (unless he’s trying to pay for something)

all in all changbin would just be the best boyfriend

congrat reader you landed an angel

Masterlist

[serendipitous-posts]

Sacrifice you for nothing

Tubbo and Ranboo get a history lesson

title from Ain’t No Crying by Derivakat

"Damn" Tubbo says, staring up at the ceiling. "That chandelier really is fighting you every step of the way, huh?"

"And it's winning" Ranboo adds.

Foolish, hanging from the ceiling as he fixes the corner piece, glares down at him. "It is not winning" he hisses "I won't let it win." That declaration would have been a lot more solid had he not squeaked as the chandelier rocked dangerously.

If that fell and broke he would actually lose it.

Tubbo has no mercy for him. "You must hate that chandelier right now" he mocks "must be your least favourite thing in the world."

 "Nah" Foolish grips a small chunk of gold carefully in his teeth to avoid breaking it "that would be cults" he mumbles. There's a brief bit of quiet below and then;

 "Oh yeah, I heard that the Eggpire wrecked your buildings or something."

 Chandelier finally fixed (for now) Foolish drops to the floor, a fall that would have shattered anyone elses ankles but just leaves him slightly winded. "Nah" he says "I've run into cults before; one's way worse than this one."

 "Worse?!" Ranboo exclaims "worse than the parasitic chicken embryo?!"

 "Far worse" Foolish confirms body language completely relaxed despite such a dark topic

 (but outside the seas begin to froth and bubbles, rapids forming and pushing and pulling, crashing against teeth sharp rocks and punching away at the cliffs surrounding it.)

 "they seem to keep popping up wherever I go. I-

 (hate them hates them with everything he is and everything he is supposed to be divine blood in his body but he can't save them can't protect everyone can't heal everything some things can't be reversed)

 "really don't like them. They suck."

(I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so so sorry, I can take your broken pieces and stitch them back, back together and it won't be the same but it will be similar and that is all I can give you)

 (the totem in Ranboo's back pocket begins to burn)

 "I'll say" Tubbo agrees, then, with childlike curiosity and teenage macabre "which one would would you say is the worst?"

  Foolish falls still.

(the sea falls still. the totems stop burning.)

 (it is somehow worse)

 "Probably the one made for me" he says at last.

 The story goes like this; there's a village that prays to him daily. It's not that uncommon really; he's the God of the Ocean and the Undead. People pray to him for safe passage on the seas or to help them find a totem.

 But the people in this village are- to put it bluntly- really fucking annoying.

 It's not uncommon for people without totems to pray to him for hours on end, begging him to revive their loved ones, but these guys have turned it into an art form, any and all hours of the day, banging around in his head.

 And when words don't work, they turn to physical ways to show their devotion to their God. 

 Silly little mortals, trying to gain his favour with dead animals and trinkets, trying to gain his favour. He already gave them a way to cheat death, all they have to do is grab a totem. Why do they want another?

 They have all they need to survive. He painstakingly carved those totems. He will not give too much of himself.

 (lord foolish please my mother is gone i want her back lord foolish you can bring my husband back lord foolish fix this fix her i know you can)

 So he ignores the animal sacrifices and the pretty trinkets offered to him in exchange for reviving a daughter, a son, a wife, a husband. He cannot revive the long dead, he learned that a long time ago.

 The only real bearable one in the village is the child, and he doesn't even think the child knows what he is the God of, really, which is odd considering the inordinate amount of statues in the town. Whenever the child prays to Foolish, it's never about a dead loved one or the sea, it's always about what the child did that day. Foolish feels more like a diary than a God in those moments.

 And at least that's interesting

 (mister foolish i learned how to spell flower the other day f-l-o-u-u-e-r mister foolish i saw a dead cat on the side of the road the other day)

 (mister foolish are you ever lonely)

 The humans grow more and more frustrated with his complete and utter radio silence, and while he's out their festivals to him grow more and more complex, the animals growing bigger, rarer, more impressive.

 (i offer you this ender dragon egg this elytra this nether star this emerald ore this music disc)

 He's not gonna lie; the person who built that beautiful cottage had him for a solid minute.

 But he's not really paying attention to any of that; he's not the only God to have festivals and sacrifices in his name. Definitely not gonna be the last.

 (what do we have to do to bring back our loved ones?)

 He's just happy to build.

 Bargaining is a stage of grief, but so is acceptance, and they must learn to accept this.

 (except their not accepting it, the town is just growing angrier, more desperate, going bigger and bigger, hunting animals around them to extinction.)

 The first time they kill a human, he's pretty sure it's an accident. An old man, long past his time, probably just died from shock or disease.

 They put his body on the altar and offer him up to him, not to revive but as a sacrifice. He arrives, cloaked in illusions as thick as the fog around the town. He still sees Death though, watching sedately from where she's sitting on the wall, her angel beside her.

 They're gone in the next moment.

 The town never buries the old man, keeps him on the altar, and, after three days, Foolish takes him, takes him far away to an old field and buries him there.

 (the leader of the town finds the missing body and smiles. their god has accepted their gift)

 He hopes it's a one time thing

 (because what did they do to that man how could they these humans these ants small and painfully easy to kill but flocking together working together how could they turn on one of their own)

 (because what would he do then?)

 (after the man disappears from the altar, the child prays to him again, telling him the man's name, and how he once stopped the child from getting a rash from poisonous flowers. he liked violets the child tells him)

 (maybe the child really does know what he's the god of. maybe the child's just lonely.)

 He doesn't know what exactly triggered it. Maybe they saw the child trying to make conversation with a God instead of praying to one. Maybe the child, in the way all children are, said something controversial, maybe about the man who was left on the altar to rot.

 Maybe, maybe, maybe.

 He isn't there when the child is dragged out onto the streets, and dumped at the feet of the altar in front of the whole town, trembling and shaking. And the child is a child but is no fool, has seen the sacrifices has seen what has happened, and does what any scared child will do-try to run.

 And at the same time the child tried to back away, the leader swung his sword, and the whole town watched as the child screamed, eyes bloodied and slashed from the blade. 

 (he had been aiming for the neck)

 (not a fighter, that leader)

 "A life for a life!" The leader exclaimed and swung again.

 (the child collapsed on the floor and the crowd pressed in, eager to watch as they choked and gagged on the blood spilling out of their torn open throat, arms scrabbling into the ground like a beetle like a cockroach like an ant whose colony had turned on it)

 And- and then-

 And at the same time the child tried to back away and the leader swung his sword, the child had had one last panicked, desperate thought.

 (mister foolish, they're gonna kill me)

 And at the same time-

 And at the same time the leader slit the child's throat, a golden clawed hand grabbed him by his.

 "So yeah" Foolish says. "Cults are, like, the worst."

 Ranboo and Tubbo continue to stare at him. "Uh" Ranboo says, then promptly stops talking.

 "Did you . . kill them?" 

 He nods, bouncing on his feet a little. "Yeah" he smiles "good times."

 The two teenagers both look like they don't know what to do with that.

 "Well, at least they deserved it" Tubbo offers up attentively, and Ranboo nods

 "Can't believe they executed a child. Nobody deserves to die like that" Ranboo mutters and Tubbo winces beside him.

 "Y-yeah" Tubbo agrees nervously, twining his hands together "that poor kid. Hope it was peaceful."

 Foolish blinks at them. "Wait, what?" Then he replays their entire conversation and laughs.

 "Laughing at a kid's death" Ranboo notes, before turning to Tubbo "why are we letting him near Michael again."

 "No, no" Foolish waves his hands "you misunderstood me; the child didn't die."

 "You guys do remember I'm the God of Undying, right?" He raises an eyebrow at them both. "I healed the kid's neck wound right up." Ranboo just blinks at him in that slightly unsettling way that only an enderman can do.

 "I thought you didn't revive people personally."

 Foolish glances outside, past the both of them. "This was different" he says "this was-"

 (my fault my fault i turned a blind eye i could have stopped this sooner you choked and gagged and cried out for anyone to save you but in the end the motivation for your murder had to step in.)

 "-an exception."

 "Good for you!" Tubbo cheers, shooting his hands in the air vehemently "the whole stinking town is gone and you and the child lived!"

 Foolish makes a noise in the back of his throat. "Except the other towns had heard about the towns rituals. And it began to spread."

 Tubbo's hands drop. "Oh."

 "Yeah" he agrees "oh. But the worst part was the damage done to the child."

 "Let me guess" Ranboo says, dry as Egypt. "Traumatised?"

 "To put it mildly."

 (the child had turned blind eyes towards him, and when he had reached out to grasp the pudgy hand it had recoiled, the small body curling up away from him and he had burned)

 (the child hadn't seen or felt the tsunami that destroyed the entire town. but the screams- they had ears)

 "But uh" he shifts awkwardly from foot to foot "not just that. I'm the God of Undying, so I can heal other's mortal injuries."

 A long pause.

 "Their mortal injuries" he repeats.

 "Oh!" Tubbo jerks back "oh God! The child's eyes-"

 "I healed them" he says, then winces "tried to heal them" he corrects. Better. "But uh, because they weren't fatal they weren't exactly, uh, restored."

 (the mirror is broken and the cracks will show even when it's put back together and you'll never see the same way again my fault my fault i'm sorry i'm so so so sorry)

(this is all i can give you i am so sorry only child lonely child i cant take all you pain away but i promise you here and now you will be lonely no more)

"Damn." The closest Ranboo will ever get to a swear.

 "It gets worse" Foolish chirps "the other towns found out that a child had been blessed by the Totem God himself. Were very interested in what exactly this child could do."

 A long pause.

 Then. "Cults" Ranboo says faintly.

 "Cults" Foolish agrees cheerfully, thinking of a child screaming in agony with bloodstained eyes and a gashed throat as others looked on, indifferent.

 Cults Foolish thinks grimly as that same child is dragged up to be executed by the Eggpire.

[allthingsfangirl101]

Falling For You–Phillip Carlyle

Phillip’s POV

My eye instantly caught Y/N as she walked out of her dressing room in her costume. She looked up at me and smiled when her eyes met mine.

I bit my lip and ran my fingers through my hair as I looked away, forcing myself to refocus. Throughout the show, I constantly found myself staring at Y/N.

"You should really just talk to her," Lettie chuckled as she walked over to me.

"I can't," I stuttered.

"And why not?" She asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Because we're. . . It's just. . . I can't," I finally said.

"Phillip," she sighed as she walked over and gently put her hand on my arm. "Y/N is a great girl and you are a great boy. You two would be wonderful together."

"You really think so?"

"I really do," she said with a small laugh. Lettie smiled as she glanced behind me at Y/N. "Besides," she added, "Y/N has as big of a crush on you as you do on her."

"You really think she. . ." I stopped talking when I saw the look on her face. "Just shut up and ask her out," I laughed. "Got it."

                         * * * * *

I snuck towards the side of the stage as Y/N got ready to do her act. I bit my lip as she was lifted into the air. It doesn't matter how many times I've seen her rehearse or do this in front of an audience, it's still as enticing as the first time I saw her. Watching her sore through the sky was always enchanting.

My heart jumped into my throat, everything freezing as the rig that held Y/N's rope up and kept her suspended in the air, snapped. I watched horrified as Y/N and her rigging fell. The entire audience was silent as Y/N laid on the ground, the rest of us frozen backstage.

"Is she. . ."

Before Lettie could finish her question, I ran toward Y/N. I knelt down next to her, and with shaking hands, rolled her over. I gently moved a piece of hair out of her face, my hand lingering on her cheek.

"Y/N," I whispered, barely able to speak. "Wake up. Please."

I was frozen as our emergency personnel came running towards us. I'm not sure who, but someone gently grabbed my shoulders and pulled me away so they could help Y/N.

I finally snapped out of my trance when they lifted Y/N onto the gurney and led her outside. Without thinking, I ran away from the rest of the group and followed Y/N and the emergency personnel outside.

"What's going on?"

My shock turned to anger as Barnum ran over, his eyes following Y/N as they led her into the ambulance.

"Her rope snapped," I said through my teeth. Barnum looked over at me with wide eyes.

"What?" He asked, his voice getting caught in his throat.

"Don't you remember?" I scoffed. "Before you left on your precious tour, I told you that we needed to get her rigging fixed to avoid exactly what happened. I bugged you every day the week before you left and you did nothing! You told me you had it handled. Well clearly, you never did. And now, Y/N is on her way to the hospital!"

"Phillip," he stuttered. I took a step closer to him, glaring at him.

"You started this," I said through my teeth. "You started this whole circus and the second a better chance at your fame came around, you left! You left and I'm the one that takes over. You left and we have all been having to deal with protestors. Did you forget? We have protestors outside our building. More and more are coming each day. They are getting worse, Barnum."

"I didn't. . ."

"Of course you didn't know! I'm surprised you know anything that's going on. Charity and your daughters. . ."

Before I could finish my accusation, Barnum punched me. I collapsed to the ground, holding my cheek. I chuckled darkly as I stood back up. I turned to him but stopped. My eyes glanced behind Barnum to see Charity and his girls. I just scoffed as I fixed my jacket.

"I'm going to the hospital," I said through my teeth. "You can do whatever you want, Phineas, because I'm not sure how much longer I can handle this."

"Phillip, wait."

                         * * * * *

"She was really lucky," the doctor said. "She has a few broken ribs, her shoulder is out of place, and she broke her collarbone."

"That's lucky?"

"Considering she fell from over ten feet? Yes, she's very lucky."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course," he nodded. "Follow me."

I held my breath as I followed him down the hallway to the private room I paid for Y/N to have. He stepped aside and gestured to the door.

"She should be awake," he said with a small smile on his face. I held my breath as the doctor knocked on the door.

"Come in," I heard Y/N weakly say from inside. I noticed the doctor send me a slight smirk before opening the door.

"Hello, Miss Y/N. There is someone here who'd like to see you." He said as he stepped aside and showed me standing in the doorway.

"Phillip," she said, her voice soft. Even though she was smiling, I could see the pain in her eyes.

"Hey," I said softly as I walked in. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she sighed. "It could've been a lot worse."

We didn't say anything as I looked over her bandaged body. The accident replayed in my mind. The sound of her rig snapping. Her body falling to the ground. The eerie silence after she hit the ground. I hadn't noticed my eyes were filling with tears until the doctor cleared his throat.

"I'll let you guys have some privacy."

I didn't turn away from Y/N as the doctor patted me on the shoulder and left. I cleared my throat as I walked over and sat next to her. I hesitated before reaching over and gently taking her hand in both of mine.

"I thought. . . When you. . . I was. . ."

"Hey," she whispered when I continued stuttering like an idiot. "I'm okay, Phillip. A little battered but still. . ."

"Perfect," I said quickly. I bit my lip as her cheeks turned bright pink. "I just mean. . . You're. . ." I sighed, frustrated with keeping this a secret. "I like you, Y/N."

"What?" She stuttered.

"I like you," I repeated. "In fact, I've had this embarrassingly gigantic crush on you since the day I bumped into you when Barnum was showing me around. The more we worked together, the bigger my crush got. And after your accident. . . I kept thinking the worst. What if you didn't wake up? What if you did, but didn't remember me? What if. . . What if. . ."

Y/N reached up and cupped my cheek in her hand. The way she was looking at me made me do something stupid. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her smile as she slowly started kissing me back.

When neither one of us could breathe, I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry," I said under my breath. "But I. . ."

"I like you too," she cut me off.

I laughed and pressed my lips back to hers. She instantly started kissing me back. We were interrupted when there was a knock on her door. She broke the kiss and smiled up at me before clearing her throat.

"Come in," she called out.

Any happiness I got from finally telling Y/N how I felt disappeared the second I saw who was here.

"Hey, kid," Barnum smiled like nothing was wrong. I stood up and cleared my throat, putting my hands in my pockets as Barnum came inside. I walked over to the opposite side of the room, trying to control my growing anger.

"Hi," Y/N smiled as she glanced over at me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

Y/N shrugged, sucking in a pained breath. I forgot about Barnum and instantly went to her side. I grabbed her hand and held it as she relaxed back into the bed.

"You sure?" Barnum asked, bringing the attention back to him. Y/N nodded as I finally let her go. Instead of standing back at the other side of the room, I sat next to her bed.

"I'm fine," Y/N said, looking at me instead of at Barnum.

"Well," Barnum cleared his throat. "There is no need to worry. While you are healing, I will get that rope fixed. In fact, the whole system will be replaced before you come back. It'll be newer, bigger, and safer."

"Actually," Y/N hesitated.

She looked between Barnum and me before looking down at her hands. I reached over and gently placed my hand on hers. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"It's okay," I whispered, silently encouraging her to continue. "What were you going to say?"

"Well, I just," she stuttered. "I don't know if I'm going. . . If I want to. . . I don't know if I want to come back," she finally said.

"Y/N," Barnum laughed awkwardly. "We can. . . Let's talk about this. If you're worried about the system or the rig, we can replace it."

"No," she stuttered. "I just. . ."

"Y/N, you've signed a contract," Barnum said quickly.

"Which becomes null when an accident occurs that was not caused by her," I said through my teeth, cutting him off.

"Phillip," Y/N whispered, trying to stop me but it was too late. I stood up and turned towards him, angrily clutching my hands into fists.

"I can't believe you would come in here and talk about when she's coming back. If Y/N wants to take a break from the show, she should be able to. You took a break to follow Jenny around Europe. Y/N should be able to take a break to rest and heal properly until she's ready to come back."

"Phillip," he chuckled.

"No!" I yelled. "I'm done, Barnum. If you are going to keep acting like this, then I'm out."

"You're out?"

"Yes," I said through my teeth. "Barnum, you've been pushing us aside, abandoning everyone and everything. And now, you not doing your job ended with someone getting hurt. Someone who. . . Someone I. . . I can't work with this anymore."

"Phillip," Y/N said under her breath.

"Okay," Barnum laughed awkwardly. "I think we all need to take a step back before we say something we regret."

"I haven't said anything I regret," I cut him off. "Have you?"

He opened and closed his mouth, unable to find the right words. I couldn't help but scoff.

"Get out," I said harshly as I turned around and sat back down next to Y/N. Barnum hesitated before sighing.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I hope you feel better, Y/N. You can. . . You can come back whenever you're ready."

I didn't look at him as he left Y/N's hospital room. When the door shut, signaling that Y/N and I were alone, I physically relaxed.

"Thank you," Y/N whispered. "If you weren't here. . . I probably wouldn't have been able to say that."

I reached over and grabbed her hand, instantly intertwining our fingers. I sighed as I lifted her hand up to my lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

"You shouldn't be forced to come back until or unless you want to," I said under my breath.

"I do plan on coming back," Y/N said after a little hesitation. I looked up at her to see her looking at our intertwined hands. "Eventually," she added.

"Really?" I asked, not meaning to sound as surprised.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "As long as you're there too."

I leaned up and pressed my lips to her's. I felt her smile into the kiss, my heart pounding against my chest. I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against her's.

"I'll be there when you get back," I whispered. "I promise."

[nothing-but-dreamy]

CARD KISSING CHALLENGE

Pairing: FFXV! NYX ULRIC x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 2.364

Warnings: none; fluff; drinking of alcohol but not too much

A/N: I know... the 'first kiss topic' again. But I can't help myself. I'm such a sucker for that...

Summary: After a rough day, you and your friends are chilling at Yamachang's. All of you start a silly game with an interesting outcome between you and a certain greyish-haired Glaive with blue eyes.

"Sometimes, I could-", Libertus stopped himself, clenching his fists and letting the sentence unfinished while he slumped down on a chair at a table of Yamachang's food stand.

Yamachang watched him and the others. Crowe, Nyx and Pelna, all of them had the same sullen facial expression as they took place in their usual spots. Frowning, he watched the group of friends before his eyes landed on you, who was the last to join.

You stopped at the counter, leaning against it and crossing your arms, "We need five glasses and a bottle of the good stuff, please.", you said, exhausted and with an apologetic smile.

"Something's wrong?", Yamachang asked, looking concerned at the group who seemed to be in a worse mood than usual while preparing your order.

You sighed as you saw Libertus' glance. You pinched the bridge of your nose because you knew what would follow.

"Something's wrong? You really ask if something's wrong?", Libertus said agitated.

But you stopped him, "Calm down finally, will you? It's enough. Your outburst won't change anything.", you said before turning back to Yamachang, "Our Captain, he… well … let me say, he made some questionable choices. It's not as bad as Libertus acts-"

"Excuse me!", Libertus called out and jumped up from his chair.

But you just looked at the tall Ghaladian with a challenging glance, crossing your arms unimpressed about his raging expression.

"It's enough, Libertus. YN is right. Calm down. Drink something.", Nyx said and offered him one of the glasses you had placed on the table a few moments before.

Drinking and the delicious food of Yamachang were able to lift the spirits of the group again and one hour later, the friends were laughing and joking. The Captain's decisions about the new hierarchy within the Kingsglaive were pushed aside till the next week. Now was a well-earned weekend for all of them.

Once again, Nyx filled your empty glass before you touched your glasses with each other to drink the next shot with him.

The warming effect of the booze was already spreading through your body: you felt calmer, everything someone said seemed to be funny and most of the time, you were giggling like a teenager. You were even bumping into Nyx as Pelna told one of his jokes.

Nyx steadied you as you were almost falling from your chair from laughing. He chuckled about your light mood which made him calmer as well. No matter what you had endured in the past, you were still able to laugh, to smile and to be happy. And you were even able to infect the others with your vivid mood.

Once again, Nyx caught himself how his thoughts drifted into a direction he usually banned from his mind. Not because the thoughts were bad - rather quite the opposite.

When he saw you frisky like this, his heart made a little jump. All he ever wanted to see was your smile and your sparkling eyes when you were laughing. Eos became a better place, the world became more colorful and all the bad things seemed to disappear into some shadows when you were happy. At least, this was how Nyx felt when he was with you.

Sometimes, when he thought about you like this, he considered pushing his doubts aside. All the things like relationships between Glaives weren't liked to be seen, or that you maybe weren't interested in him in a romantic way.

He knew you liked him but was he more than just another friend like Libertus and Pelna? Maybe Nyx wasn't even your type of man but then, he never had seen you with someone else. As if dating was out of the question for you. Nyx tried to be close to you and then, when his courage left him, he retreated himself again, cursing that he couldn't speak his mind.

But in Nyx' eyes, the last thing you should be, was to be alone. He wanted to be the one you would go to to seek comfort. Nyx would lay the world to your feet if you would just give him a chance.

"Oh, guys! I have an idea!", Pelna called out, dragging Nyx out of his thoughts while he was jumping up from his chair. He went to Yamachang and came back with a pack of cards.

"No, oh, come on! Not this silly game.", you said annoyed but also grinning because of the effect of the alcohol.

You grinned while Pelna explained the simple rules to the others: The person with the card must suck gently on it to keep it on their lips. While sucking, the card holder must attempt to pass it to the next person.

The card had to be pressed against the lips of the person next to you while keeping sucking. Keeping the card in place until the next person makes contact with it. Then blow gently on the card to release it to the next person. If a card dropped a shot had to be drunk.

It was a stupid teenage game and normally you were sure that your friends wouldn't agree to play it but now, with the right level, all of them played along.

The first round went well. All of you made an effort to play it right. The positions of you all changed for the next round and then, quickly, instead of playing together, Pelna was the first who told a joke to get Libertus and Crowe struggling to let the card drop.

It wasn't working with them. But as Crowe and you were trying to carry the card next, Pelna tried it again and this time, it was working: Crowe chuckled, the card fell down and you and Crowe kissed softly before you two were laughing.

"Pelna! Was that necessary?", Crowe asked, still chuckling.

"No, but it's more fun this way.", the dark haired man said with a charming grin.

You played with the card in your hands, taking the shot to drown it before you turned over to Nyx with a grin, "Ready, hero?"

Nyx matched your smirk, he even felt excited because he would be the closest to you since ever, "Of course.", he answered confidently with a racing heart.

You turned over to him, sucking the card to your lips before Nyx came closer to take the card from you. It was then that you took a look into his perfect, blue eyes you liked so much.

Nyx was able to let your heart skip a beat but the signals he gave you were so ambiguous it was frustrating. On the one hand, you had noticed that Nyx tried to get closer to you and when you tried the same, he retreated himself again from you as if he wasn't sure anymore.

You steadied the card and while Nyx came closer, you prepared yourself to let the card drop. It would be the best opportunity to feel his full, plump lips just for once.

Nyx watched you. Pelna told one of his jokes again but he was barely able to listen to his friend. Your eyes were drawing, your face was so close, your scent clouded his mind and he got himself ready to let the card drop to have the best shot to kiss you.

As the card slipped from your mouth, you met Nyx' lips framed by the stubble he sported. A sensational feeling like fireworks spread through your veins. You knew you didn't have much time and so, you kissed him a bit stronger to show him what you felt for him.

Nyx noticed that this wasn't just an accident. He felt your lips getting stronger against his own. For a moment, his breath hitched in his throat. His mind went blank, goosebumps spread across his skin but before he could react, your lips had left him again.

Libertus, Pelna and Crowe were cheering for the both of you while you chuckled, handing Nyx a next shot. Both of you touched glasses to drown the liquid but Nyx kept you in sight all the time. You, your delicious lips and your enchanting eyes.

One hour and some shots later, you called it a night for yourself. As you stood up from your chair, you were slightly swaying followed by soft chuckling.

Nyx steadied you once again, standing up as well, "Be careful, YN.", he said gently, making a decision within one second, "Alright, I will accompany you to make sure that you'll arrive at home in one piece.", he said, chuckling as he watched you giggling.

You leant against Nyx' side, covering your mouth with your hand to hide the stupid grin, "Might be the best idea, hero."

Libertus looked after you and Nyx before he turned his head back to Pelna and Crowe, "You think one of them will make a try tonight? I mean, since when do they like each other? Months?"

Crowe took another drink, "It feels like years actually. To play this game was a nice idea.", she said to Pelna.

Pelna grinned, bowing slightly, "Well, to be honest? I couldn't watch these two dancing around each other any longer. Obviously, it worked. I just hope one of them will be smart enough to take this chance."

**

You and Nyx walked side by side through the streets of Insomnia's underground to reach your place. It wasn't far away from Yamachang's and not even far away from Nyx' own place but you were glad to have Nyx by your side. Although you had noticed how silent Nyx had become.

"So, thanks a lot for bringing me home safely.", you said, turning around to Nyx as you reached the entrance of your apartment complex.

Nyx watched you and how your eyes were sparkling, "No problem. It… it was a nice evening, tho."

"Yeah, it was indeed very nice.", you admitted. You wanted to say more, mentioning the kiss again but you didn't know how.

Nyx grinned and stepped forward, pulling something out of one pocket of his pants. The courage had been back, he just had to use it, "What do you think? Wanna try it again? I'm sure we can do that better.", he said, raising a card between his index finger and middle finger.

You grinned, raising one eyebrow, "Ulric, you're so competitive? I had no idea."

"Well, I just hate to lose.", Nyx answered with a lopsided smirk. This time, he prepared the card with his mouth but as you came closer, he let it drop how you had done it earlier. And then, as he felt your lips, Nyx leant in even more. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss before you could back off.

He cupped your face, knotting his fingers with your hair and pulling you closer, working his mouth against yours in a gentle but hungry way. He felt that you moved along. Your hands were clinging to his shirt and you even pulled him closer.

Nyx just broke the kiss as his lungs demanded fresh oxygen. He leant back to look insecurely into your eyes what your reaction might be after this second kiss.

"I- I thought you hate to lose...", you breathed against Nyx' mouth.

"I never was talking about the card. I didn't want to lose another moment with you after I could taste you.", Nyx whispered with a racing heart.

"Oh, is that so? Then, do us both a favor and stop talking.", you said with a grin, pulling Nyx back to you for another kiss.

Nyx was startled. He had just hoped it would work to kiss you again and now, you took him by surprise as it actually worked. So, before your lips connected again, he stopped you, "Wait a sec... y-you mean, you want this? You... you want me?", he stuttered.

"Why so shocked, hero? Or were you just joking?", you asked, half amused and half concerned that he just had made fun of you.

Nyx shook his head as he saw doubts in your eyes, "No! No, I wasn't joking. I just... I... you never showed much interest in me."

"I know. I tried but... It was just... I wasn't sure about your feelings for me. You showed so many different reactions towards me. You came closer. Then, you retreated yourself again. I was a bit confused about your signals and decided to wait for your next step. You're so good at hiding what you really want. But trust me, I would have talked to you soon."

"Really? Why?", Nyx asked surprised.

"Because you… Nyx, you ... you drive me crazy. Every time when we're together, I want to hold your hand so badly. I want to kiss you. Be close to you. Feeling your arms around me. I was just waiting for you to make a step or to show a sign. Anything.", you explained softly.

"You mean a sign like the kiss back at Yamachang's?"

"Well yeah, I... I tried to show you how I feel about you...at least, I hoped you would understand."

"You did a great job. I felt a lot of things at this moment. That was... the kiss was the reason why I found the courage to make this step.", Nyx admitted with a shy smile.

You stepped closer, roaming slowly over Nyx' chest where you felt his increasing heartbeat underneath your touch. Slowly, you looked up, meeting his eyes, "Well, now, where we have sorted this out could you... fuck damnit, Nyx!", you scolded him impatiently but with a small chuckle, "Could you please just kiss me?", you begged before you gnawed on your lower lip.

Nyx watched your moves closely. How your teeth dug into the soft skin, how sexy you were when you looked at him through your lashes. He cupped your face once again, caressing your cheeks softly with his thumbs before he leant forward, "Oh, trust me, nothing would please me more.", he answered grinning with a pounding heart before he kissed you as passionately as he could.

It was the first real kiss. The next step into something bigger between you and the hero with the soft blue eyes.

[purpletaecup]

6 ☾ these echoes of laughter fade into a distant memory

note: fully written chapter again this time, with social media half chapters coming later this week! this chapter is mainly Yoongi and we see a little bit of his side and how he felt in the past and how he feels in the present. not edited, wanted to post this before the concert so we can all cry together!

rlly important note: i suggest you guys listen to nineteen by hayley williams because i basically base this whole story off that song (and some chinese webnovels i read lmfao). It’s one of my favorite songs ever and it hurts a whole lot. I wish i could experience how I felt when I listened to it for the first time again. As always, feel free to vent/rant and tell me your theories about how the story is going to go! let’s cry together :’)

final note: IM SORRYYY FOR THISSSS don’t hate me pleaseee 

word count: 2,523

That night, Yoongi slept in your hospital room. The emotional weight of everything that had happened had kept him nailed to the chair beside your bed. The smell of the air after the rain permeated into the room and reminded him of the day that his lawyer delivered the divorce papers to you, who was alone at home and probably waiting for him. Looking back at it, maybe it was an impulse decision that he made due to the frustration and exhaustion that your marriage caused him. He grew weary and waking up in the morning felt like a chore. You were distant, he was distant and both of you were living lives going in different directions. But you loved each other, and for a while, he thought that could be enough. Evidently, it wasn’t. He doesn’t regret the divorce because in the end, he thought he was doing what was best for the both of you. He knew how tired you were and how you felt being around the people in his life. He felt the same way with the people in yours. Everything about your lives clashed and he thought that divorce was the best solution for both of you to become happy again. He wasn’t getting any younger, but you were still very young and you could still find someone who could love and cherish you better than he could.

He didn’t regret it.

He didn’t.

Or at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. He didn’t regret it. He couldn’t regret it. But remembering how you looked when he came home that night breaks his heart to pieces. Your pale and shivering figure crying by the front door and the way your trembling hands shook him off when he tried to help you up. It was a sight that would remain ingrained in his mind and his heart forever. When you two finally made it inside your house to sit on the couch, he fully expected you to shout and scream and throw a tantrum about the divorce papers. He did not expect the quiet sobs that wracked your figure, or the broken “why are you doing this?” and finally the resignation in your voice when you told him you’d sign it. He remembered, at that moment, that he began crying too. He walked over and sat next to you and took you in his arms like you were his whole world even though he knew he had just ruined yours. With his head buried in your damp hair and neck, he whispered a million apologies. Sorry for breaking your heart. Sorry for wasting your time. Sorry for not knowing how to love you properly. Sorry for not trying.

These apologies meant nothing to you. They were nothing compared to the pain you had endured to be with him, to love him. He didn’t know that. For the last months of your relationship, he didn’t know who you were and that’s what pushed him to get the divorce. You were a shell of the woman you were when you two first met. Your smile didn’t make butterflies appear in his stomach anymore and your laugh didn’t make his heart flutter like it used to. It wasn’t the same anymore. You were both different people, changed people.

In the midst of this change, he was introduced to Yura by Jungkook. A model he worked with a couple times and a really nice woman. Beautiful, even. Almost as beautiful as you, he had thought when he first met her. Jungkook pushed and pushed for him to hang out with them and the rest of the guys and the more he saw Yura, the more he talked to her, the more he began to like her. She reminded him of you when he first met you.

You were 19 and he was 23 and you were modeling at the same set he was supposed to shoot at an hour later. He came early to help the staff prepare for his music video shoot and hopefully talk to the director but he had ended up watching your shoot for most of the time until it was his turn for the set. The people around you liked to say that Yoongi fell in love with you at first sight. He often refuted that it wasn’t at first sight because he wasn’t the type of person to fall in love because of how someone looks. In private, he told you that he fell in love with you at first smile, first laugh. The sight of you laughing genuinely in the middle of hydrangeas and baby’s-breath enchanted him so much that he remained rooted to the floor for the remainder of your shoot.

The laughs and the smiles were Yoongi’s favorite. You were the most beautiful person he’d ever met. You are still the most beautiful he’d ever met, but perhaps it was the exhaustion of life that wore the both of you down. What had started as a beautiful, youthful romance filled with picnics in meadows had ended with divorce papers on a rainy day in September.

These are the thoughts that followed Yoongi to sleep that night.

☾

[nov. 10, 2020]

The same thoughts haunted him day in and day out ever since he left that next morning at the insistence of Jungkook and Taehyung. He spent 4 days on his own, working and living his life but only on the surface. Conservations with people, including his friends, remained minimal. He couldn’t stop thinking about your broken and bruised body laying in the hospital bed, and he was anxious for the news of you waking up but none had come. He received no calls from the hospital since he left, and Taehyung said that visiting was meaningless unless the doctor told him new information.

Yura told him, verbatim, “I understand that you’re worried about her safety, but the doctors said she would be fine. She’s your ex-wife, I get it, but she’s not your responsibility anymore.”

In a way, she was right. But he couldn’t help but feel sick at the thought of leaving you all alone there. He knew it was hard for Jin to come out because he was incredibly busy with work, and when he wasn’t traveling for his job, he lived too far from both of you to ever accompany you in the way that you needed. In addition to that, he had no idea what happened to you and your mom. The last he heard, which was when you were still married, you were on speaking terms with her and there wasn’t a problem between the two of you. At least not that he knew of. Namjoon was on a book tour and Jimin was constantly booked due to his dance career. In any case, you had no one here. Yoongi was all you had and that was evident in your unchanged emergency contact list.

After Yura had said that, he felt uneasy being around her so he told her that he truthfully couldn’t stand to just move on with his life while you were practically lifeless in the hospital, and if that was a problem with her then maybe they should just take a break from each other. He kept telling himself that he really liked Yura and he wanted what she could give him, but he couldn’t ignore the four years that you two spent building a life together. Especially not now that you were pregnant, a fact that he had kept hidden from Yura.

When he thought about the pregnancy, everything else seemed to melt away. Despite the circumstances, the news of your pregnancy made him happy. Extremely so, albeit a little scared as well. He wondered how long you had known, and if you were happy or scared.Or what if you didn’t know at all? As far as he could tell, you weren’t showing. There was no sign of a bump on your little belly, but the doctor’s words were irrefutable. There was a baby growing in there. A baby that was half you and half him and that thought of that made him smile like he hadn’t in a long, long time.

That night, he dreamt about a little girl with your eyes and your smile and a nose that resembled his. A laughter that reminded him of yours echoed in those dreams.

☾

[nov. 11, 2020]

Pleasant dreams faded into a pleasant morning as Yoongi woke up much earlier than he was used to and felt better than he had in ages. He spent some time by himself before his phone was bombarded by phone calls and text messages from the group chat with the boys asking him when he was coming for work.

As he saw the sun take its place in the blue skies and white clouds, he decided that the day was too beautiful to waste on a day in the company. 5 days passed since your accident and he thought it was time to go back to the hospital and see how you were doing. Of course he wasn’t expecting any changes to your condition considering he hasn’t gotten any phone calls from the hospital yet, but he thought it might make him feel more at ease to sit next to you.

On his way to the hospital, he stopped by the flower shop you often went to, the one next to the park with the yellow flowers that you liked so much. The woman at the front, whose name was Yerin by the looks of her nametag, recognizes you immediately.

“Mr. Min Yoongi? How can we help you today?” She asks, immediately standing up straight at your intimidating presence.

“Just here to get some flowers.” He replies nonchalantly.

Yerin runs around the counter to stand in front of him.

“Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”

“No, not really—wait a second, that flower right there. Give me a bouquet of those.” He says, pointing to the bunches of purple flowers hiding behind Yerin.

She turns to see what he was pointing to. “Ah, purple lilacs. Okay, I’ll put it together for you really quick!”

He saw her go around the many shelves of flowers to what he assumed was the back inventory of the shop and didn’t see her come out until a couple of minutes later. In her hands was a beautiful bouquet of the purple lilacs with white baby's-breath. His eyes softened at the sight of the white flowers. The sight was familiar to him.

“That would be 25,830 won.” Yerin handed the bouquet to him and smiled.

He handed her 35,000 won, murmured his thanks and left. Once out of the shop, he was hit by the bright sunlight and couldn’t help looking over to the park. Kids were running around while their parents watched them on picnic blankets.

Warm and sunny days like this reminded him of you. Spending your days in the sun, laying on a picnic blanket and eating fruits, was your very existence.

He spends only a few moments admiring the scenery of people enjoying the weather before he makes his way back to his car and to the hospital. When he arrives at your room, nothing has changed except for the fact that your skin has regained a bit of its color and the bruises began the healing process.

Yoongi sets the flowers down on the table beside your bed. He moves the chair from the wall to the side of the bed so he could sit right next to you. His heart almost stops when he sees your face. It seems like the nurses changed the bandage on your head as the bandaging was noticeably lighter, but he could still see a bit of blood seeping through. The bruises on your arms and everywhere alarm him but he knows that you’re okay and you’re healing and that’s enough for him. It’s enough to know that you were alive and going to be fine.

His eyes trail down to your stomach and he lets it linger on them for a long time because he takes your hand in his and takes a deep breath. Two months ago he could have never imagined that this is where he would be right now. Two months ago, both of you had walked away from your marriage and Yoongi honestly thought that you two may never have crossed paths again despite his thoughts going to you more often than it should be. Now, two months later, you were divorced and pregnant with his child. His eyes continue to stare at your stomach, still flat and showing no signs of carrying a second life, and he resists the urge to caress it. You weren’t conscious and even if you were, would you allow your ex-husband to feel your stomach like that? No, probably not.

And that’s when he felt a twitch in his hand, not coming from his own. He looks down to see your fingers moving just barely. His first reaction was shock, then anxiety. He didn’t know what to do and the shock of your movement paralyzed him. It was only when he felt another movement, stronger this time, that he felt the need to press the call button to alarm the doctors and nurses. You were moving, which meant that you might be waking up.

The moments pass quickly and slowly at the same time. The doctors barely made it in time to see you flutter your eyes open and groan with a broken voice. Yoongi looked down at you, still holding your hand. You blinked your eyes multiple times. The light was too bright to take in all at once. He squeezed your hand at the relief he felt in seeing you wake up.

“Yn, how are you feeling baby?” He couldn’t help the pet name that came out of his mouth. You looked so vulnerable and fragile that it came out on instinct.

Yoongi waited for a reply for a little bit but heard none. The doctor came around to stand next to you.

“Miss Yn? Can you see us? Hear us?” he asked.

You nodded slowly, wincing at the pain in and on your head.

“Where m’I?” You attempt to speak out, but it comes out broken and croaky.

Yoongi is glad to hear your voice, to hear you talk for the first time in so long.

“You’re in the hospital right now, you were in a car accident but you’re okay now baby. How are you feeling?” He couldn’t help but ask.

You craned your head towards him, blinking furiously with your eyebrows furrowed. Confusion marred your features. Yoongi was scared that you finally realized he was here, with you, and would kick him out at any chance. He was scared that you were going to kick him out of you life before he could ever see the baby that you had made together, but this fear of his could have never prepared him for the next words to come out of your mouth.

“Who are you?”

☾

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taglist batch 1: @victoriedulce @yoongistruth @rebeccawoodrow @moon-asia @koochiekoo @sonderkook @fangirling-gallifreyan @teresaisla @veronawrites @haeilove @rjsmochii @mama-m0chi @agustd-2020 @imluckybitches @dreamer95 @coldfreakeggsexpert @rjsmochii @loveyoongles @selfproducingfanfictionauthor @mr-robot-x​

[nobodyfamousposts]

Blue Memories (lbscexchange2021)

Yay! It’s Valentine’s Day! 

Soooo....who wants a sad?

He opened the door for Marinette and gently escorted her inside.

She looked around, surveying every detail. The baby blue of the accent wall. The furniture in all of its strange varieties of makes that still somehow fit together. The assortment of decorations from the little black cat figurine that had been a joke housewarming gift from friends to her potted plants lined up at the wide windows—still tenderly cared for, even in her absence. All things that were part of the home. All things that made the home their own.

And yet, not a single hint of warmth came to her eyes.

“This is…my house?”

Ours, he didn’t say.

After all the things they had experienced throughout the years—the monsters they’d fought, the battles they’d won, the people they’d saved…

It seemed so surreal that it was something as simple as a car accident that would take her down.

She stepped through the entryway into the main room—tentative. Unsure. Like she didn’t think she belonged. Her grip on her cane tightened, belying her anxiety.

He rested a hand on her shoulder in reassurance. Allowing her to use him as her other support as she was forced to confront a home she didn’t know and memories she couldn’t recall.

“Just…take a bit of time to familiarize.” He whispered.

I will be with you every step of the way.

She took a breath but nodded before moving forward, and for a second—

Standing tall, wearing her suit like armor, her shoulders broad and head high in steely determination even in the face of overwhelming odds—

Luka could see the courageous young woman he loved in this stranger’s frame.

For her part, Marinette was…handling the circumstances if nothing else.

She stepped away from him, standing with only her cane and her one good leg for support. Rather than immediately head for the couch or any place to rest, she wandered the room, taken in by the all of the remnants of a person she used to be.

There was an array of frames along the wall as she passed, each containing memorabilia from newspaper clippings to artwork to awards. She gave them a cursory glance, none of them really standing out. At most, she barely touched one that contained a pink ribbon—

“Isn’t this a bit much? And a bit silly?”

Alya had gasped in mock outrage. “Girl, this is your own design house! We have to have a ribbon cutting ceremony to make it official! Otherwise, what have our years of labor been for?”

Marinette giggled. “You mean my labor?”

“Hey, don’t forget who did the interviews.” The other woman said with a wink.

More giggling.

“Of course, of course! I never would have gotten this far without you. Any of you.”

“And don’t forget it!” More giggling. “And besides, a happy opening is a sign of a happy beginning. This is your dream, girl! Go all out and enjoy it becoming real!”

“Okay, okay! So how will we do this?”

Luka smiled as he brought over the fancy scissors.

—pink ribbon, a couple inches thick, contained in a frame along with a picture of a group of strangers standing outside a building.

He carefully took their bags back to their his room, allowing her a moment to reflect and himself time to gain some composure.

To think it would be a car accident that did this. Not some epic villain battle, no. A stupid car accident because of her insistence on meeting him at the airport and some idiot who decided to run a red light. He'd consider laughing if he wasn't on the verge of breaking down…

But…she needed him. More than ever now.

When he returned, she was standing at the wall aligning with the window, lightly touching the dollhouse that was stationed there.

“Do we…did we have kids?”

“No.” Not yet.

It was grand—a four storied house with five rooms on each floor, each fully furnished in different ways. Its outside had the design of a cozy cottage, with walls were painted with a soft pink as well as white doors and window shutters. All of which were moveable, to her amazement.

“Where did we even get something like this?”

It had been a labor of love.

She hadn’t wanted to leave the kwamis stuck in the Miracle Box with no idea of the happenings in the world. And as they had begun spending more time outside, Marinette had been insistent that the kwamis deserved their own space outside of the Box. It had taken her weeks to make it—and multiple failed attempts.

She gave them their own home within hers. She’d wanted them to feel welcome.

It may very well have been the first time the little gods had cried.

“It was…a project.”

She frowned, but didn’t speak further. Her gaze turned to the nearby shelf on the adjoining wall. Holding a number of books. A single bin full of yarn for knitting. Two guitars rested along the side.

“Luka, it’s beautiful, but…why?”

“Why not?” He smiled.

“But…I’m not much of a guitar player. You know that. I’m not like you, Mr. Top 20 three-weeks-in-a-row. I still don’t know how to play the guitar.”

She moved to put it back in its case, but he pulled her back and into his lap along with the guitar. Her squawk of surprise only made him grin, and he placed a kiss to her head.

“That just means you’ll have more opportunity to learn.”

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

“Do you play?” She had asked, curious as she looked over the two guitars.

He smiled bitterly.

“Wow,” Dingo whistled as he peeked through the curtains. “Quite a crowd out there.”

“I’m not sure I can do this.” Luka muttered.

It had been one thing when he had been playing with Kitty Section. But the band had gone their separate ways and now he was playing center stage.

“No worries. It’s only your first show. If you choke, who will even remember?”

He sighed. “Yeah, see, that? That’s not helping.”

“I’ll tell you something that will, though…” Dingo trailed off with a smirk. Before Luka could react, the other wrapped an arm around his neck and dragged him to view the opening in the curtain.

“Dingo!”

“Take a look!”

Luka glared at his friend—or tried, but Dingo’s grip around his neck really kept him from turning in any direction besides the one the other wanted.

Dingo, for his part, didn’t even have the grace to look back, instead grinning at something through the curtain.

“A certain little lady in the center seat of the middle row.”

Luka froze. And immediately, his eyes glanced over the crowd, searching for…

Dark hair.

Blue eyes.

A bright neon pink sign with his name.

Her smile.

He breathed.

“Mari…”

Dingo clapped him on the back and released him.

“If you can’t play for your fans, play for her. You know she’ll always listen…”

“Yeah.” He answered.

What else could he say?

He’d built up his music career over years. For all that she had been busy with her own design house, she had still be there for him every step of the way. Supporting him. Inspiring him.

And now only one of them still knew that.

“Congratulations on the release of your new single!”

Ah.

He winced as the flashing lights hit him.

For all the time he spent on tour, he would never get used to this.

“Thank you.”

He knew better than to respond. It wouldn’t be enough. It was like an avalanche of questions and microphones barreling down on him.

“Mr. Couffaine! How do you feel about your ranking on the Music’s Top Ten?”

“Is there any truth to the rumors that you are doing a collaboration piece with Jagged Stone?”

“Are you really having an illicit affair with XY?”

“Luka Couffaine, you just completed the last stop of your world tour! What are you going to do now?”

Finally, the one question he wanted to answer.

“I have someone to see.”

It had been both a dismissal and an explanation as he took his leave to wait for his ride.

Tomorrow was their anniversary, after all. He’d managed to schedule the end of his tour to give him just enough space to make it back in time to spend it with her.

Marinette was probably already waiting at the airport at this moment.

Or at least…she should have been?

He checked his watch. Was he early? A bit, but not by much…it had been a little last minute for her, though. Maybe she was caught in traffic?

His phone rang. Was that her?

“Hello?”

“…”

“…”

“…what?”

He winced and turned away, trying to fight back the burning in his eyes.

Maybe she saw his reaction because she went silent as well. The tension of the room heightened, near to the point of stifling. For all that he wanted to reach out to her, there was a distance between them that felt…impassible.

He heard her move further into the room. Closer to the kitchen, it sounded like. He listened as something seemed to slide briefly across the countertop, as if she had picked up something for a closer look. Despite his better judgement, his curiosity got the better of him and he turned to see—

It had been hell. The date. The entire day. Hell. To the point he was convinced that some higher powers were giving a sign that this relationship wasn’t meant to be.

Except it wasn’t a sign, it was a fucking billboard.

He’d had it all planned out. Picking her up in his new car. They would have dinner together, followed by a movie, coffee and dessert at a nice little cafe he’d heard good things about, then a stroll by the Seine.

Except whatever higher power up there hated him, apparently.

First the car—the brand new (okay, only slightly used) car he’d recently purchased wouldn’t start, so he’d had to ride his bike to reach her. This meant the restaurant was a no go, meaning his reservation that he’d put in a good month in advance went to waste. Marinette had suggested they just walk to the movie which he was fine with, except that it started raining and the theater in question suffered a power outage. Desperately trying to salvage the night, he’d led her to the cafe anyway only to find they had apparently gone out of business the day before.

Luka was…done. He was just done. He’d apologized profusely and tried to call a cab for her before he’d walk home in the rain so he could scream into his pillow.

Suffice to say, he was pretty sure the date was a bust. And would likely be the first and last he’d ever get with her.

But while he’d been on the phone discovering that traffic was backed up and even THAT much of the night wasn’t going to go right either, Marinette had noticed a little souvenir kiosk under an awning nearby. He hadn’t known what specifically had caught her eye, but when she returned, it was with a thermos of tea she had brought from home and two little mugs she’d just purchased—both with their own different engravings.

She passed the "I AM WEIRD" cup to him. Was…was this a joke? Was she saying something?

He wasn't sure what it was until he saw her blushing as she sipped from her own cup, clearly displaying the engraving of "I LOVE WIERD".

The night went wrong in so many ways. But there…huddling from the rain under the storefront tarp, sitting next to her...he felt warmer than the hot tea could have been responsible for.

She held the “I LOVE WEIRD” cup gingerly, staring at the porcelain as if it could tell her its secrets. But when nothing could be found, she set it back at its previous place and continued on.

Marinette’s gaze had moved on to the next item of interest. She peered into the various photographs lining the top of the nearby shelf. Each contained images of a young couple. A man with teal hair and a lip ring along with a woman with dark blue hair and earrings. The pictures varied—them hugging while bundled up in the winter season, him picking her up and her holding him tightly for balance, them dancing at an outdoor festival, them making silly faces in a photobooth. Each one of them smiling.

One that kept her attention, however, had the man in a tuxedo and the woman in a stunning floor length dress. It was white with an illusion neckline, and bore the images of petals. But the truly striking feature was the airbrushed effect at the bottom of the dress as it changed from white to vibrant teal and finally to black—a clear match to the hair of the man standing beside her.

It was a wedding.

She had said he inspired her dress. That she had made it with him in mind. He had believed her, of course. He never needed her to prove she loved him.

But oh, how his heart had sung seeing her like that. In his colors. Showing the world whom she belonged with.

He had barely heard anything the priest had said. He had to have stumbled in his vows at least twice. He was torn between burning to touch her and yet not wanting to dare to—that something so beautiful shouldn’t be touched.

He would never forget the way she had reached out for him instead and held his hands with hers as she said she wanted to start a life with him.

She picked up the picture.

“It’s beautiful.”

It’s her.

“It’s beautiful. And I can’t…I don’t…”

Like gravity had failed her, she collapsed rather than sat onto the sofa—

That ugly, ugly leather sofa that Jagged had insisted they take with them from Marinette’s brief stint as his personal designer.

“No, you keep it, Mari. You’re gonna need something to spruce up your new place.”

“Jagged, seriously. That thing is hideous and I don’t need it.”

“What are you talking about? It’s perfect! It’s leather! And sturdy! And you can even pull it out into more of a bed. Besides, who knows when you’ll be bringing a studly young man to your place and need something to ‘rock it’ in, eh?”

“Oh my god, Jagged, please don’t!”

“Ey, Luka! Come on, mi boy, back me up!”

“Luka, don’t you dare—!”

Luka, for his part, kept his focus on cleaning his equipment and wisely said nothing.

He moved to her side without thinking.

“Mari…”

“What…” She looked up at him, hopelessly lost. “What now? What do…we do?”

She held the picture frame to her, as if trying to fill the hole in her heart that once contained years worth of love.

“I don’t know what…I don’t know how to…”

She sobbed.

If the phone call had shattered his world, this had crushed the remaining pieces.

“What…what are you saying?”

The doctor sighed.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Couffaine. But the damage of the crash and the shock of the incident has led to some trauma. We are running tests, but there is no way to tell just how great the extent is or how long it will last.”

He barely heard the words for what they were. Percentages. Chances. Outcomes. Luck.

She’d always beaten the odds before, hadn’t she?

She could…

Surely, she could…

He barely noticed when the doctor had led him to the white—white, white horrible white room.

And the all too pale and shaken woman resting inside.

“Who are you?”

It was her eyes.

Her beautiful blue eyes.

But not a trace of familiarity.

“Hello, Marinette.”

He smiled, trying to not let tears fall.

“My name is Luka…”

He slowly moved to sit beside her, taking his wife into his arms like he always did.

It…wasn’t the same.

"It'll be okay..."

Throughout his life, Luka had always been a river. Slow. Steady. Constantly cutting a path through life and through the world.

Luka was a river.

But for Marinette, he had been her rock.

“We’ll make new ones.” He promised her.

Day by day. Moment by moment. He would stay with her and make new memories.

It wouldn’t replace what was lost.

But they would make it together.

[syalmazhafira17]

Ever Since New York

A/N: Hello! This is my first HS fanfiction for the Playlist Fic Challenge hosted by @harrystylescherry. I didn’t specified any Harry era, you could imagine any Harry era you want to! I think this is also a reader insert fanfic, but well, hopefully it does. The pronoun I use here is she/her. I know this is not the real meaning of the song, but the actual meaning of the song triggered me myself, I didn't like to write about it, I'm sorry. If there’s any mistakes, please let me know because English wasn’t my first language. And if you’d like to give me reviews or talk to me, you could absolutely do it! Happy reading! XOXO, Syalma

Word Count: 5.1k

TW: car accident

“I’ve been praying ever since New York” – Ever Since New York

Things started in a place. And for Harry, it was New York.

New York City might not be the most romantic city in general public, but for the Harry Edward Styles, the city is a gift for him. The sweetest memory started here, in the city. When every now and then the city was always busy, but he found comfort in the middle of it. Something he previously never thought to find about in this city.

///

He was just shuffling through the crowd in Times Square. It was at night in the busy hour. He was wrapped in a thick jacket and sunglasses, and everything was so packed, even people, and anyone barely notices him. Which he was thankful about, because it was already a tiring day for him in the studio. It’s already late in his opinion and all he wants is jump on his bed right away. Or maybe a cuddle, even, only if he has someone to cuddle.

The thought stuck in his head, and that night, God given him what he wishes quietly. He bumped into a girl in the Metro. The girl turned around, rising her eyebrow in confusion. When she saw him, she started to freak out. Her head already in a negative view. She step aside a little, giving a space between him and her. He wanted to mumble an apology, before realizing the girl already stepping away from him.

She looks like she’s a college student, he thought. And before he knew it, she snapped her eyes at him alarmingly. He knew she can’t see his eyes staring at her like a lost puppy found its owner, but it surely already makes way to her instinct.

“Sorry,” he mumbled and turned away, locking his eyes at the ceiling of the Metro track.

He didn’t know, that ever since that day, she will be stuck in his daydreams, and out of the blue, making way to his songs and writings.

Ever since the metro, she’s all he thinks about.

///

Their faith tied together again. It’s lunch time and they both met again in the restaurant.

She was looking around the place to find one single unoccupied chair. Her eyes fell on two, one in front of a smoking men and one in front of the curly-headed men. She hates the smoke, and for the sake of it, she makes her way through the table.

“Hello, I’m so sorry to disturb your lunch, may I sit here by any chance?” she asked. The men turned around. He looks right back at her, with bright green eyes and hazelnut curls on top of his head. A moment of silence as Harry regains back his memory of the Metro girl he bumped into.

“I’m so sorry, if you didn’t want to. I’ll find another seat,” she brought her tray away, walking to the opposite direction from the table.

“Hey, um, I didn’t mean to. You can- you can seat here,” he nodded, chewing his lips. He has been thinking about her for some times, once he already got the girl, he messed it up by just looking at her.

“Oh— thank you so much!” she smiled brightly as she turns back to the table and set down her food tray.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, before he speaks up after a war with his gut.

But she did it first.

“I’m sorry, but you look familiar, have I met you before?” she asked.

His mind glued at her until he forget to answer it until she cleared her throat in a code to snap him back to reality.

“Eh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, we’ve met before. In the Metro, the men bumping at you at busy hour,” he scratches the back of his neck, like he always do when he was nervous.

“New York is really a city of possibility. Who knows I bumped into Harry Styles on a Metro?” she laughed. Harry’s smile makes its way back to his face. There’s something about this girl he was very fond of.

“You know…me?” he asked in disbelief.

“Of course I do. Like everyone else. I’ve been a fan,” she nodded.

“You didn’t, don’t get me wrong, look like one,” he stared at her. He wanted to hear her way of saying ‘I do’ in front of their families and kissed in front of everyone. With him.

“Well, I am. Not all fangirl looks like they are a fan, aren’t we? But yeah, I’m a fan. Dying to get a quick snap of you, but I figured you will quickly find my phone’s camera lens as soon as I snap it, considering your sixth sense of it and me sitting only separated by a table, so that might not be a good idea. And yeah, maybe I look calm outside, don’t be tricked by it. I freaked out inside,” she laughed. There’s something about the way she talks that makes him mesmerized by it. He gulped down.

“Do you want a snap?” he offers. Her eyes look back at him in shock. She slowly nodded. She offers her phone, but he already pulled out his.

He snap their picture quickly before he sends it.

“Do you have an Apple product phone? So, it will airdrop?” he asked.

“Eh, no, I have an Android, but I have my iPad with me. Give me a sec,” she pulled out a device from her backpack. She turned it on and Harry sends the picture to it. He glances at the name of her device. y/n’s iPad. y/n. A name he will remembers.

Looking at him glancing at the name of her iPad, she suddenly realized.

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m y/n,” she offered her hand.

“Nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Harry,” he giggled.

“Hi Harry,” she said, in a soft tone, that makes him wanted to listen to it for the rest of his life. They both laughed and continued their food.

Ever since the restaurant, he wonders if their faith will collide once again.

///

“Hello, um, no, that’s…probably not a good tone, you have to use the perfect charming tone. Not too low, not too high, not too fast, not too slow. Hey. That’s too informal,” he chippers in front of his bathroom’s mirror.

He didn’t know how much luck he could get right now. He got her phone number, for some weird connection only God knows exist. She was one of his mates’ old friend. Her contact was buried beneath his’ phone for ages and he managed to pull that out of his contact and have the courage to save the number in his phone and gave the girl he met by coincidence a call in one fine Saturday night. And managed to croak out a question in the middle of his nervous state on that simple call.

And fast forward a week, here he is standing in front of the mirror, practicing his line over and over while his nervousness ripping him off little by little. He doesn’t know how he have this whole luck of her.

His phone suddenly rang, snapping him out of his thought and sprinting to his phone as quick as possible. He pulls up the green button after glancing at the caller’s ID.

“Hey, Harry,” she greeted. Her voice ran down his spine and gave him a comfort he never felt before with anyone else.

“Hello,” he said. A dead silence for a moment before she continued speaking.

“Um, I don’t know if I disturb you, I’m so sorry if I do, but I’ve been waiting for about 45 minutes, and I wonder if you will go on the date or cancel it? Because if you want to cancel it, then it’s okay. I’m just checking.”

Harry looking up at the clock on the wall. The clock showed him the time that felt like a slap at his face. And her soft voice asking him in concern make him regret his own feeling. He was supposed to be where she is now an hour ago, he planned on coming earlier than her to make a good impression, but now he’s late, like really late. There will be no way she’s going to forgive him nor agree to go on the second date with him.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, I– I just lost track of time, I’ll be there in a sec,” he stuttered. He push his phone to his pocket, ran to his keys, and flung himself to his Range Rover and hit the road as fast as the law allowed him to sped up.

He arrived in the span of 15 minutes from her phone call, panting and sweating, as well as nervous and panicking, scared to look at her face once she pulled up to the passenger’s side of his car. She raised an eyebrow before touching his bicep softly to distract him from his thoughts.

“Harry?” she asked. “Are you alright?”

“Uh- yeah, I’m okay,” he nodded quickly.

“You look pale and sweating,” she examined his face.

“I’m great, that’s just…my natural features,” he tumbled over his words. “Shall we go?”

“It’s okay if you’re not feeling good, I could just go home,” she looks at him with a concerned face.

There will be no way he will let her let out of his grasp. He was already in the edge of not getting her by forgetting the time, he won’t let her go home alone this time.

“I’m perfectly fine, we’ll go to one of my favorite restaurant,” he stated, the thought simply giving him a new pump of confidence.

“Oh, alright, we’ll go then,” she relaxed to the seat and buckled herself. He drives through the night glow of New York with Brooklyn Bridge and Miss. Liberty watching him. Watching quietly as Harry Styles trying his best to get the girl he dreamed of by picking up the rest of the pieces left about him in her that he already broke. And this city being the quiet paparazzi recording every step of him got the love of his life.

Ever since the date, he knew he will do anything to be with her.

///

He shifted in his sleep, making himself a little more comfortable, while scooting further to her arms. She wrapped her arms around his wide form graciously, mumbling something before inhaling his scent to soothe herself to go back to sleep.

They tangled together in her bed, sheets crumpling beneath their bodies. They didn’t need it anymore; each other’s warm presence was more than enough to keep them safe and sound in the summer night.

They have been official for a couple months now, 7 months to be precise, after him, being a nervous wreck having the courage to ask her to be his and his only. He was nervous, sweat covering his palm, and his voice trembling as he asks her. He doesn’t know how he did it, but he did end up driving home with her hand in his and a thin layer of her lipstick left on his lips. And when he got back to his own place, he screamed from the balcony to the busy road beneath, doesn’t even spare a glance at pedestrians looking up at him weirdly, or the fans started to clicking their cameras up secretly, or paparazzi recording him. In his mind, the world was just him and her.

His eyes flicker open, looking up to her, who sleeps peacefully. He stays there and just watching her breathing rhythm. He loves it when she got into peace like this, with no crease between her brows or an upset face painted on her beautiful face.

“Are you going to creepy stare at me forever or tell me what time it is?” she asked, her eyes still closed.

“Both, it’s around 1 in the morning darling,” he said sweetly, kissing her shoulder.

“Great! Now tell me everything you wanted to ramble on,” she said jokingly.

He knows she was joking, but he did anyways. He spoke up.

“I want babies, to cuddle! To squish their little chubby cheeks. How cute would that be? They will have green eyes and curly hair like I do, and they’ll have tiny smile that looks like yours! And we’ll squish their tiny faces and kiss them and we’ll spoil them with so much love and—and—and—Gucci!” he giggled after the word came out. Of course, Harry’s staple, Gucci, will be on the list of his babies.

“And we’ll put them in bear onesies I saw on Pinterest the other day! And we’ll paint the walls soft yellow, and we’ll get to cuddle them in our arms at night, and they will squirm in our arms, and when they wake up hungry in the middle of the night, I’ll come to them so you’ll sleep. And I can stop my work while they were little, could almost be packed in the suitcase I brought on tour! And when they got old enough, we’ll go around the world and they’ll meet a lot of people, will see the world in real life. And then…they’ll grow up,” he ended his ramble about babies in a sad face, realizing babies could grow up too, and they will not be so little anymore.

“And then, you’ll make more,” she ended the whole story for him.

“You? Why not— oh yeah, I’m sorry,” he looked down like a sad kitten. “We never talk about this before.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. We’ll be a little family, with babies like you want, yeah? Their little faces and cheeks, want to squish and kiss them already,” she fixed her words. He looked up at her again excitedly.

“And we’ll have kittens! Cute little fur balls in the couch!” he continued on.

He continues to talk about kittens. How cute they were, how many will they have, and how he will fed them.

“I love cats lots, but not as much as I love—” his eyes widen after he realized what he just said.

“I love…?” she didn’t have a single clue what he was about to say. And he was thankful for it. “Babies?” she guesses.

“No,” he shook his head.

“So…what?” she furrowed her eyebrows. “Working in the bakery?”

“You, I love you,” he finally decided to risk it all and said the three words that have been stuck in his mouth for the past months.

“I…Harry,” she said sternly.

“Yes?” he looked up at her like a scared kitten.

“Are you sure about those words?”

“With my whole heart, darling.”

“Like sure, sure?”

He nodded quietly.

“I love you, too,” she whispers right to his ears and kissed his pink lips.

His cheek and his nose flushed red. He couldn’t believe that he just did it.

Ever since that night, he knows he wants to spend evermore with her.

///

He was in LA again. Not staying in New York. It’s the fifth time he did it, with no preparation call, but just a quick text once he arrived. Leaving her confused for a moment before processing her boyfriend’s quick news. She was already living in his New York apartment he purchased for both of them, but he was barely there. At bright days, he spent it with his guitars, music, and studios, and at night he conquers the music industry concert. At weekends, he was busy to move around the world, too busy to text his girlfriend about his plan and whereabouts.

Today, she had enough of it. She stormed out of her class with angry fingers pressing the buttons of his number. Those all because he already sent the text ‘In LA babe, don’t wait x’. But who wants to wait for a week before he came back to NY, gave her a proper talk about his plan, and if he remembered about him having a girlfriend, plan on a date afterwards?

First call, doesn’t get answered. Second call, to voicemail after a few ringing. Third call, straight up to voicemail.

She grumbled beneath her breath, cursing, before trying again. On the last ring, he finally picks up.

“Hello, babe, have you gotten my text?” he asked.

“No, you come home tonight, or I’ll leave,” she said sternly. She doesn’t want to look scary by the people she met in the hallway, but her eyes says otherwise. But she didn’t care much. She cares about the fact that her lover just left her with a short text.

“Hey? What’s wrong with you?” his voice turned from bouncy and happy to a stern confused one.

“You’re the one that needed to be asked that way,” she scolded.

“Darling, I’m not going to be in the joke right now, I have some big stuff to do,” he frowned.

“OH, your girlfriend you just left in New York wasn’t a big stuff? Okay, don’t expect me to wait a week alone in that bloody apartment,” she huffed before hanging up as quick as possible, making sure she did it as he speak up explaining his problem.

He cursed underneath his breath when the call line got cut off. Jeff, reading his face, looked over.

“You okay, Harry?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah, just…y/n acting up,” he mumbled.

Jeff didn’t answer, he just nodded before speaking to someone on the other end of his own phone call. While Harry tried his best to not thinking about his upset (and alone) lover back in New York, he just…failed miserably. At the time the clock strikes midnight, he gave up to his feelings and book a ticket back to New York.

He got into the plane at 3 AM, bouncy and a nervous wreck. He was scared of what might y/n does. Breaking up? Almost a bit dramatic, but doesn’t make it zero possibility. Mad at him? She does now. No need to wonder. Leave the house? She probably plan to right now. Driving at midnight and blasting sad songs in her car? Not Harry’s type, but hey, y/n is y/n. She could be doing that at this very moment. Getting drunk in a dive bar with her college friends? She was barely past drinking age, and she doesn’t like alcohol much, but everyone seeks comfort when they fight with their significant others right? Stress eating on McDonald’s drive thru or eating a tub of ice cream, crying over a random TV Show? It’s nothing bad compared to other possibilities, but he doesn’t want to know it was because of him. Because in each possibility, he imagined her crying and mad at the same time.

And when he dropped his bag at their apartment, the first view he saw wasn’t a crying y/n, an empty house, a drunk version of his girl, or a girl crying with an ice cream tub or McDonald’s packaging. Instead, she curled up into a ball in the sofa, must have been fallen asleep at some point at night, blanket messily covering her figures, and the TV playing a random bad TV Show. He went immediately soft by the sight in front of him, but he quickly remembered about his problem.

He didn’t want to wake her up and as bad as he wanted to curl up in the sofa and scooping her in his chest (because he know she won’t even think twice to push away whoever cuddle her without her knowing) so he went to the bathroom and cleaning up himself a little before moving to kitchen and made some coffee.

She woke up 30 minutes later, squinting at the light before fully aware of other people existence in the apartment. Her hazy mind translates it as a stranger, but once he dropped a pan and cursing, she knew it was Harry.

She pushed her feet against the carpet and walked towards the kitchen.

“Oh sorry, sweetheart, did I wake you?” he asked.

“Care to come home, Styles?” she didn’t even bother to say hi or answer his question.

“Love…I’m sorry,” he plead.

“No, no, that’s okay. I’m pretty fine alone here, with no company, and with my non-existence physically boyfriend,” she said sarcastically. “He was busy being a company to everyone until he forgot to be a company for his own girlfriend.”

“I wasn’t…I’m sorry, can’t you forgive me? I texted you, I let you know where I am,” he argued.

“That’s okay if you don’t,” she said before taking out her cup and filled it with water carelessly. “I’ve had enough of you anyway.”

It hits Harry harder than he thought it intended to be, so he grabbed her wrist and forced her to look at him, even with a disgusted expression.

And that night, they ended up cuddling on the couch and watching The Notebook with a huge tub of Haagen-Dazs in the middle of them. Half finished, with two scoops stuck out.

Ever since that day, he knew and promised he didn’t want to hurt her in anyway.

///

“Are you Mr. Harry…?” someone at the other end of his phone called.

“Who are you? What are you doing with her phone?” he asked aggressively. He felt sick since he woke up this morning, all he wanted was her to cuddle up against his chest.

“I’m Doctor Alex, and I’m from Brooklyn Hospital Center, are you Harry, sir?” he asked once more.

“What happened to her?” his heart sinks. He didn’t even confirm his name.

“I need you to calm down, sir,” the doctor finally gave up, assuming by himself who he was talking to was really the Harry in the girl’s emergency contact.

“What happened to my y/n?” he asked, rushing out of his bed, threw the comforter off his body.

“I’m sorry to inform you this, but you are the emergency contact in this phone. The girl, the owner of this phone, has been in an effective car crash. No relatives or friends with her during the accident,” the doctor explained briefly. “She’s in coma.”

Harry didn’t answer. His heart sinks, his soul felt like just left his body, his stomach dropped, he froze in place, he couldn’t believe the news, he didn’t want to. He wanted to wake up. Maybe this is just a bad dream, and when he woke up he still has her safely tucked in his arm, and smiling at him. And she will kiss his stubble as he stirs from sleeping, and they will stay like that for 15 minutes before the band called him and yelling from the other line about ‘discipline’ and ‘you lovebirds should’ve kept a clock to see the time’.

He hung up his phone as quick as he could and threw himself to his car.

He drove through New York City street in full speed. He doesn’t care about the laws he broke, how many tickets he will get once a police officer caught him. His mind got clouded by the doctor’s words. This time, Brooklyn Bridge and Lady Liberty watch him, not aiming for a girl’s love, but to aim a hope she will be his forever, not with a tie of marriage, but…he doesn’t even want to think about it anymore.

He parked his car messily and sprint to the front table.

“I’m Harry. Harry Styles. I’m…the girl in the car crash, I want to see her,” his mind can’t even form a perfect sentence.

“Sorry sir, who are you to her?” she asked.

“I’m her…her…boy-husband!” he almost yelled. The nurse knew he wasn’t even her fiancé, but from the panic in his voice, trembling frame, and a mess he is, she finally let him.

When he met her, she was inside a glass room, he wasn’t even get to be in the same room as her. He just watched her breathing heavily with an oxygen tank, the only thing that kept him believing she is alive is the beeping loud noise of machines stuck on her body. She looks miserable, bruises all over her body, casts on her arm, bandages, she looks so…fragile. He just wanted to scoop her up into a hug and kiss her, tell her she’s going to be okay, they’re going to have babies like they always dreamed of. They will have their first house, they will watch their babies grew up as much as he hated the fact that babies will get older one day, they will be old people in their 70s, but she will be the most beautiful girl he has ever seen in her 20s. But he can’t right now, and he felt helpless.

It has been almost 7 hours since he arrived and he doesn’t even spend a second take his eyes off of his girl. Nothing progresses much, but he knew she has to survive. So they could pursue their dreams together, just like they always talk about. At this point, all he wanted was for her to flicker her eyes open and look at him. And he will do the rest, he will pick her up whenever she wanted, he will kiss her, he will give her all the affection he has, he will give her all the love he has even until his heart bleed, he will hold her so tight so she will be always safe no matter the circumstances. He will do anything for her to just open her pretty eyes and look at him.

“If you aren’t going to eat something, you won’t be able to take care of her, um, later,” one of the nurses tap his shoulder. The crack of her end of sentence made Harry gulp down a lump in his throat. She knew her condition better than him. And he knew it, the crack on her word of ‘later’ doesn’t got missed by him. He nodded, the nurse’s words are true, she needed him to be okay.

So he took his time to go to the bathroom and wash his face, looking at the tiredness in his eyes, and he took some time to grab something from the cafeteria, a weird looking bread, looks like have been behind the glass display for ages, but he couldn’t care less. He shoves the bread to his mouth while running to get to her place.

“Sir, are you Harry?” a doctor rushing to his side. Suddenly he felt so empty. The panic in the doctor’s voice, his pale face, Harry doesn’t want to imagine what had happened to his girl.

“You might want to talk to her, she is going to be rolled to the operation room,” the doctor said.

Suddenly Harry felt weak in his knees. The bread feels like its going to threw itself out. He took masks and some weird gown the nurse handed him, and he rushed to her side. The beeping noises louder now he’s inside the room, but the only sound he could hear right now is her troubled heavy small breathing.

“Hi, darling,” he walked towards her with shaky limbs. “They- they said I could talk to you right now, I have weird feelings about it, but you are going to be fine. I- I will propose and we’ll have cute babies like we always talk about. I won’t leave your side again. We- we’ll have our happy ending.”

He kissed her cold fingers. It’s like the world were just the two of them again. No one around her. No weird beeping noise from the computer. No Harry Styles the popstar or y/n y/l/n the college girl. Suddenly they are just Harry and y/n again. Just both of them. In the room. y/n fighting for her life, and Harry, as helpless as he look like, helping her subconsciously.

“y/n, sweetheart, I don’t know if you could hear it, but I’ll be with you. I’ll be here, I’ll be by your side, you don’t have to be afraid, because your Harry will be here, honey. No matter how deep you fall, how hard the challenges, how hurt I will got, I’ll always be there for you. Your Harry will protect you, if it’s cold or hot, if it’s dark or bright, I’ll be by your side, kiss every single tears and cuts it will cause, and you don’t have to be afraid nor alone anymore. Because your Harry will be there for you. Always.”

And then he rolled out of the room. Out of Harry’s grasp, no matter how hard he tried to keep her close. She had gone to the room where her life will be on the thin border.

And Harry, with tired eyes and shaky breath, ran to the empty room outside the glass room and cried. Cried like he never did before. Cried until his tears dried. He dropped to his trembling knees.

“God, I-I know I barely talk to You. But this time…I beg You, please don’t let her taken away from me. I know she will be in no more pain, but I’m too selfish for it, I can’t live without her. I can’t function properly without her. I know I didn’t treat her the best before, but give me a second chance to take care of her. To smell her scent again, to kiss her hairline, brush her hair, give her all I could give, give her all the comfort she needed, give her all my love until my heart bleed. Just…give me one more chance, and I will treat her better,” his shaky voice somehow formed a proper sentence. His cheek wet with stained tears. His breath hitched. His chest felt heavy. He doesn’t even know who he is, when his girl still in the room. “Let me take one more chance to call her mine,” he let out a hitched scream.

After a long waiting and more tears spilled, when the clock told him it was 9 PM, she rolled out of the operating room. He jolted up. Indistinct chatter makes his head felt dizzy. But his main focus was her on the bed.

“Is she okay? What happened?” he could hear his voice yelling those to the medical workers, but he doesn’t even remember saying that.

“Sir, you need to calm down,” a voice called.

“No, no, I don’t need to calm down. I need to know if she’s okay!” he screamed.

“Sir, you have to,” the voice called again.

“Tell me what happened to her, tell me if she’s okay!” he yelled once more.

“Sir, take a deep breath and you’ll get to meet her,” the sentence made him stopped and slowly turned around. His eyes begging for explanation.

“Tell me how she is,” he whispered brokenly.

“She’s…you might want to see her, she might want you to talk to her,” the lady doesn’t even told him how she’s doing. And he knew it. He has only a few percent chance to have her wrapped back in his arms. And only God will gave him it.

The lady (soon he realized she is a nurse), lead him into a room. Not a glass room like she used to be placed, but a more private room, but it doesn’t make him feel any better because she was limp on the bed.

He walked in with shaking legs. The door closed behind him, and his knees gave up. He dropped to the cold floor of the hospital and cried for God knows how many times he had cried. His voice cracked. “Give me one more chance to love her again.”

[raindancer2004]

Aro’s Choice

Word Count: 2,606 Demetri x reader Part Two. Warnings: Fluff, Angst

Summary: Aro chooses a mate for Demetri; someone that will link his coven to Carlisle’s, a gifted human like none he’s met before. But Demetri isn’t happy, he didn’t choose her, doesn’t want her so he does the only thing he can think of, he pushes her away despite agreeing to a compromise proposed by Y/N. So what happens when an event occurs that changes everything for Demetri and Y/N? Will he go and rescue her...save her? Or will he stay in the castle and wait for his mate as he has done the last 1000 years? Will he realise that the one he’s been waiting for was the very one he had rejected and pushed away? Is it too late, will she ever forgive him? Will she give him a chance to love and protect her or will she walk away from him for forever...?

Jane knocks on Demetri’s door and finds Y/N in the room alone “Good morning Y/N Aro would like to speak with you and introduce you to Demetri” Jane says with a small smile “Good morning Jane” She replies and follows Jane down to the throne room. Alec finds Demetri and Felix in Felix’s room “Morning you two, Aro wants to see you both in the throne room” Alec greets them “How come you are not in your room Demetri?” Alec asks along the way “Considering we have never met I assumed it would be best not to startle the girl when she woke this morning” Demetri replies “Sounds fair” Alec replied.

Jane and Y/N enter the throne room first and walk to stand beside Aro; Demetri, Felix and Alec arrive a few moments later. As the three male vampires enter the room they notice Jane and the human girl standing beside Aro and that there are no other guards in the room. Alec moves to stand on the other side of Y/N so she is now stood between the twins. “Thank you for meeting with us this morning. I have some news to share with you all, although it will affect Demetri more than the rest of you” Aro begins gaining the room’s attention. “I would like to introduce you all to Y/N Swan, Bella’s younger sister and she is to join our family…as Demetri’s mate” Aro adds looking at Demetri now to gage his reaction at the news. ‘So that’s what Jane meant when she said Y/N was mine’ He thought to himself and smiled at the girl, who smiled back.

“Brother, how do you know they’re mates?” Caius asks curious “I don’t brother. Jane discovered Y/N’s gift by accident and once I met her I knew that she would need to be changed as she was made aware of our world during our visit…” “You mean the Cullens told another human about us?” Caius cut Aro off “No, brother. Y/N found out about us after I asked to meet her as I was curious about her gift. Carlisle and Esme offered to turn Y/N and make her a part of their family but I knew you would not like that brother” Aro looked back at Caius, who nodded “So I proposed an alternative solution. Demetri has been on his own for a very long time and thought he would welcome Y/N as his mate. I have every confidence that he will treat her well and look after her” Aro adds smiling at Demetri, who was still looking at Y/N smiling “So you have ‘arranged’ this paring brother and are hoping that it works out?” Marcus asked “Indeed brother. Now I think Demetri and Y/N should go back to his room and get to know one another a little” Aro says and motions for Y/N and Demetri to leave the room. Y/N nods at Aro and walks to over to Demetri but before they can say or do anything Caius speaks up again “Brother you mentioned the girl has a gift. What is it?” “Ahh yes brother, Y/N has the gift of Telekinesis” Aro replies; Y/N notices Felix looks a little confused “It means I can move things with my mind” She explains to him and she hears Demetri chuckle beside her “I think we’ll get along just fine cara” Demetri says to Y/N and takes her warm hand in his cold one and they make their way back to his room. Aro was pleased as it seemed Demetri was interested in getting to know his ‘mate.’

A few days later Demetri leaves the castle to run a few errands and when he returns he immediately seeks out Y/N, finding her in the library. “Hello Y/N, I hope you have not been too bored in my absence?” He asked as he sat beside her “I think it’s hard to get too bored when you have a library as big as this” She replies with a smile and he nods “Yes, I must admit it is rather large and we do add to it every few decades” Demetri stands and holds out his hand “Come with me please, I have a gift for you” She places her hand in his and he leads her back to his room. Once inside he lights the fireplace and then sits beside her on the sofa “Here, this is for you” He says as he hands her a small box. She opens the box to see a gold ring inside with a small diamond set in the middle of two small rubies “Th-Thank you Demetri…you-you didn’t have to…” “I know but I wanted to Y/N” He said taking the ring out of the box and placing it on her finger, placing a kiss to her forehead. 

Demetri also seemed interested in Y/N’s gift of Telekinesis as noone else in the guard had that gift and he and the Volturi had never come across anyone with that gift before either. “So how does your gift work Y/N?” Demetri asked one evening as they sat reading by the fire “I can show you…if you’d like?” She offered and he nodded smiling “Ok, then” She added looking around the room and noticed that his desk was littered with papers and books. She stood from the sofa and made her way closer to his desk and waved her hands in the air over his desk and Demetri watched wide eyed as the papers were neatly stacked on the left side of his desk and the books on the right. She made her way back to the sofa and waved her hand over the coffee table and the book she had finished reading found its way back into the bookcase “That’s impressive Y/N” He said smiling at her “Thank you” She blushed a little looking down at her feet “I know it’s not much but Aro says if I practice my gift will improve” She looked up at him through her lashes and saw that he was smiling at her “He’s right it will improve over time. I can help you…if you’d like?” He offered and she nodded.

During the second week of Y/N being in the castle Demetri started to get a little frustrated at taking care of his human “How are you and Y/N getting along?” Heidi asked “It feels more like I’m babysitting the girl than spending time with my mate. Humans need so much attention and not to mention they need to sleep like eight hours a night, so whilst she sleeps I get to spend my nights alone just as I have done for the last 1000 years. I mean what’s the point?” He replied as he helped Heidi prepare for the following week’s ‘tour.’ “Don’t speak like that Dem, Y/N is your mate and yes she’s human but only until you change her” Heidi said defending the girl “That’s another thing…I have to change her, take responsibility for her…all because Aro thought he’d solve me being a little lonely by giving me a human as a mate” He replied sounding a little bitter “I’m surprised at you Demetri. I would have thought that you would have loved looking after her, taking care of her and eventually changing her as it meant that she was truly yours” Heidi added, Demetri didn’t respond so they continued with their task in silence.

Y/N had been at the castle for about three weeks when Demetri’s behaviour changed towards her; he no longer wanted to be around her, no longer wanted to take care of her. Having Aro choose his mate for him is something Demetri was not happy about and he made sure she remembered she wasn’t his choice. He stopped spending his free  time with her, this included not spending evenings with her; choosing instead to spend them with Felix or Alec or Santiago, sometimes the four of them got together and played cards, other times he just spent the night reading in Felix’s room thus leaving Y/N all alone except for the times when Jane went to see her, which wasn’t often.

After a few weeks of being left alone all the time Y/N begun to feel lonely but she didn’t say anything to anyone instead opting to just put on a smile whenever she was around the guards. Deep down she knew what was happening but she didn’t want to believe it.

Demetri was sitting in Felix’s room one night and their conversation turned to Y/N and that was the night Demetri finally rejected her. “I’m guessing as you are sitting here with me again things haven’t improved with Y/N over the past month?” Felix asked “She wasn’t my choice Felix, she was Aro’s. What happens when I meet my actual mate?” Felix didn’t answer, just looked over his friend’s shoulder to see Y/N standing in his bedroom doorway. “I didn’t think vampires chose their mates. I thought they had no say in who they were mated to” Y/N said sounding a little confused “Fate chooses our mate for us. Someone who is meant for us, the other half of our soul, the missing piece that compliments us…completes us” Demetri replied turning to look at her and empathising certain words to make his point. She nodded in understanding before she answered him “You weren’t my choice either Demetri. I had things I wanted to do with my life and now I’ll never get the chance. So...I propose a compromise...we get to know one another a little...become friends even and if / when you meet your mate, your other half…you can claim her and live happily ever after if that’s what you want. She never has to know about me being Aro’s choice” She tried to keep her voice level and Demetri thought for a moment before nodding “Fine...I suppose we can try and become friends” “Ok then. I’ll go pack my things and move out of your room…tonight” She turned and walked back to Demetri’s room going straight into his closet and began packing her clothes and shoes, biting her bottom lip hard to prevent herself from crying at being rejected by the man she had started to have feelings for. A few minutes later she heard Demetri’s voice behind her “The room opposite mine is empty, I’ll help you move your stuff when you’re ready” “Thank you Demetri, but I think I can manage” She replied not looking at him and continued to pack.

It took her less than an hour to pack her clothes, shoes and her other belongings, she wheeled her suitcases across the hall and into the closet of her new room. She turned to go back to Demetri’s room to collect the rest of her stuff when she saw him in the doorway “Here, they looked heavy so I thought I’d help you. Where do you want them?” “Er…thank you. You can just put them by the door as I’m not sure where I want things” She replied giving him a smile. He placed the boxes down by the door, making one last trip to bring her the rest of her stuff before going back to his room, happy he could spend a night in his own space…without her.

About a week later Aro found out about their compromise but did nothing about it for Y/N was still apart of his coven even if she wasn’t bound to Demetri as his mate. In fact he was impressed at how she handled Demetri’s rejection of her; being the bigger person and offering a solution to the ‘problem.’ Aro decided to let the two of them figure out how to become friends, hoping that it might become something more.

Over the next few weeks Y/N tried many things to try and connect with Demetri; to get to know him as a friend. She found out from Felix what his favourite book was and read it so they would have something to talk about; that conversation didn’t last long and nor did it lead to further conversation topics as she hoped. She even asked him to help her with her ‘gift’ to practice and hone her Telekinesis and he agreed to help after guard duty one Friday evening, agreeing to meet her in the training room. She made her way to the training room on the day and time they agreed but realised after ten minutes that he had stood her up. She made her way back to her room passing the Games Room along the way and heard him talking and laughing with Felix and Alec. She ran back to her room and locked the door before climbing on her bed ‘I didn’t choose to come here, to be with him but as least I tried’ she thought to herself. She cried herself to sleep that night at the realisation ‘I’m just not good enough for him.’

Despite the compromise they had made Demetri still wasn’t happy with the situation but he tried to get to know her or at least that’s what he told himself as he continued to push her away. Following him standing her up in the training room Y/N decided not to push him into spending time with her; she stopped trying to get know him. She had finally realised that he only agreed to her suggestion of a compromise as it meant that he got his room back, making it easier for him to avoid her.

Demetri spent so much time pushing her away that whatever little connection there was in the beginning was now fractured. This saddened Marcus most of all as he knew what it was like to spend forever alone; he would give anything to have someone to love, someone to take care of. For the first time since Demetri joined them he was disappointed in the tracker; disappointed with his behaviour and treatment of Y/N. For if he took the time to get to know her he would realise that she was indeed chosen for him by fate; that Aro was merely the ‘middle man’ bringing them together, ensuring their paths crossed. Y/N was the key to Demetri’s happy ending and he had rejected her. Marcus decided to keep this information to himself after finding Y/N in the garden upset one day whilst Demetri was away on a mission.

“Good afternoon Y/N. How are you settling in?” He asked softly taking a seat beside her on the bench “Good afternoon Marcus. I’ve settled in ok, thank you for asking” She lied and he knew it “Really? You have been here for a few months now and you don’t seem to have made many friends…” “Well as a human in a castle full of vampires it’s hard to make friends…especially as they are already friends with the one who…” She stopped herself from finishing that sentence “The one that rejected you. Is that what you were going to say?” He asked looking at her; she turned to face him her eyes filled with tears and just nodded in response. “I am sorry my dear that you are so unhappy…I wish there was something I could do” He replied softly, wrapping an arm around her “It’s ok really…I’ll be ok” She said trying hard not to let the tears fall. After that conversation Marcus figured being rejected once was enough heartache for the girl to endure and decided he would not meddle; he’d let things run their course, confident that fate would intervene and bring them back together before it was too late. If only he knew what the future held.

[voiceless-terror]

Prompts? This is a happy day! If you wish! I'm writing something similar but I need more cakes in the flavor and you write emotions so well! But early days in the archives and Tim and Sasha are giving Jon the cold shoulder and maybe there's an accident or something Jon really needs help with but he doesn't think he can go to either of them and he doesn't know Martin. And the next day he rolls up sick, or beat to hell, or has a cast, or a black eye, and Tim and Sasha are like WAT? And then feels!

Here you are! How do you know EXACTLY what to prompt me??? This is so my speed. So here you go- I hope you like!

“You’ve survived your first month in the Archives! That’s cause for celebration, Martin. Drinks on me!”

Tim’s cheerful tones weren’t hard to miss. Perhaps he didn’t notice Jon standing in the doorway, small and timid. He realized it was the middle of a rather stressful work week, but he just needed a little bit of help with some boxes. He’d been tired and worn out for the better part of the week, and the small ladder in Document Storage was rickety at best. Martin and Tim were both much taller and stronger than him- hell, even Sasha could’ve probably gotten the job done. Just a few minutes and then they could be on their way, to wherever they planned to go. Without him. 

Sasha was the one who noticed him. “Oh- hey, Jon. Did you need something?” 

He looked at the other two, twitching with clear impatience. Martin opened his mouth to speak but Tim made some sort of hushing motion with his hand. A sinking feeling made its way through Jon’s chest and to his stomach- the thought of asking for even the smallest of favors filled him with anxiety. He didn’t think he could bear seeing their faces when they said no. 

“Er, no, just- have a good night, yeah?” His voice sounded off, even to him, but they didn’t seem to make much of it, nodding awkwardly.

“You too!” Martin called after him as Jon scurried down the hallway, biting down whatever sadness stuck in his throat. He’d be here all night most likely. 

It didn’t bother him.

______

Jon stared up at the boxes looming tauntingly on the shelf, filled with statements that were likely just as disorganized as the ones on the shelf below. But these were labeled with the most recent dates in the Archive, and that’s what he planned on going through for the rest of the week.

Back in research, Tim used to prank him by putting things on the highest of shelves- books he needed, tea he wanted. It irked him but Tim would always be right around the corner to lend a helping hand and a teasing word. It got Jon out of his head for a moment, something very few people could accomplish. 

Tim still put things on high shelves in their break room but it just felt cruel, now that he wasn’t comfortable enough to ask for help. Now that Tim was never around the corner.

He put a tentative foot on the step ladder, grimacing as it leaned to the side. He’d put in an order for a new one at the beginning of his tenure but Elias never responded. He felt bad bothering the man with such a petty request when he could just ask his assistants for help. What was he supposed to tell him? ‘Hey my assistants seem to hate me and I’m too scared to ask them’ didn’t inspire much confidence.

Jon took another step forward, willing the ladder to stabilize. He needed to get to the fourth step to even have a chance of reaching the box, high up as it was. Just a bit further.

He made it to the fourth when everything went to hell. As soon as he reached his hands toward the box the ladder creaked and listed dangerously to the side, throwing him wildly off balance. He flailed right off the side, landing with a yelp and a crack on the cold concrete floor of Document Storage. 

The pain emanating from his left arm was almost paralyzing-it had taken almost all his weight in the fall and was lying awkwardly across the floor. It brought tears to his eyes as he tried to move it so he just laid there for a bit, willing himself not to pass out from the pain. How ridiculous he must have looked, lying prone on the ground, defeated by a fucking stepladder. 

When he finally decided to sit up his head spun- he only got as far as scooting back and leaning his head onto a shelf, trying to control his breathing. He had his phone in his pocket. If he needed help, he could just call Sasha or Tim or even Martin. His arm didn’t feel right and he would probably have to go to a clinic or the A & E, something he hated doing. He didn’t think he could brush this one off.

But what if they didn’t answer? He thought about the three of them at the bar, laughing and talking. Tim would be regaling them with some ridiculous story, his phone would ring. He would glance down at it, see Jon’s name and flip it over, ignoring it. 

Or worse, they would come, see him huddled on the floor and laugh. They would try to hold it in at first- they weren’t that rude. But as they helped him to his feet they wouldn’t be able to contain it. How embarrassing he was, how ridiculous. Jon couldn’t bear to be laughed at.

Two weeks ago he had walked past the upstairs break room on his way back from a meeting with Elias. It was entirely unproductive; he could sense Elias’s growing frustration with his lack of progress. Jon wondered if he regretted making him his Head Archivist, if he was already thinking of suitable replacements. Jon wouldn’t blame him.

And that’s when he heard it- an odd, mocking voice that he knew belonged to Ryan from research. Ryan and Jon never got on- Ryan was talkative and prone to gossip, and every attempt he had made to talk to Jon had been shut down by his inability to carry a conversation. On the odd times they were paired together to work, Jon took the brunt of it with utter silence, unwilling to complain about the man lest he be deemed more difficult than he already was.

But the voice he put on- stuffy and posh- was a caricature of Jon’s own. And sure enough, when he glanced in the doorway he saw Ryan hunched over a table, someone else’s glasses on his face as he screwed it up in a scowl and carried on as “Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute” to his captive audience.

His captive audience which included Sasha and Tim. 

He felt his heart shatter as the group laughed at the impression. It was accurate, why shouldn’t they? God, why hadn’t he realized how much everyone hated him here? Any respect he thought he earned faded quickly with this showing. He found himself sprinting down the hallway and locking himself in his office, ignoring Martin’s concerned inquiries as he desperately tried to blink back tears.

Remembering the incident brought the shame and embarrassment back tenfold. No, he would deal with this himself. That was the best course of action.

He took fifteen minutes to properly wallow but once his heart rate lowered and the pain was at manageable, dull roar he got to his feet and staggered down the aisle, constantly searching for a handhold. He had everything he needed on him- it wasn’t so cold that he couldn’t go without a jacket, and he knew he wouldn’t get any work done this evening. 

Making his way down the hallway and up the stairs was almost tortuous; he paused several times and took deep breaths to avoid passing out and making the problem worse. By the time he got to the lobby Rosie was already gone for the day and Ed, the janitor, was idly mopping by the front door.

“‘Ave a good night, sir,” the man said without looking up. “Careful though, s’slippery over-whoa there, Sims!”

He must have looked as awful as he felt because the man dropped his mop and made his way over to his side, his face the picture of concern. Jon was holding his arm at an awkward angle so as not to jostle it. “S’fine,” he wearily started. “Have a good night, Ed.”

“Don’ look fine to me, Jonny.” Jon hated this nickname, but he never let on. He didn’t want to upset the one man who still greeted him day and night, no matter how stressed and irritable Jon looked. It was a nice, comforting routine. “Somethin’ happen?”

“Just took a fall, nothing serious,” he lied, well aware that his palm was scraped and crusted with blood. “I’ll just be going, got a train to catch-”

“Let me get you a cab, son,” he said, a paternal hand on his shoulder. “Shouldn’t be on the tube looking like that, bound to make it worse.” Jon began to voice his protest but the man was already out the door, waving and stamping in the street. He would smile at the scene if he had the energy for it. Instead he just staggered after him, wincing with every step.

“Over here!” the man shouted, standing by a cab a little ways down the road. Ed opened the door and ushered him in, hands helpful and gentle and so kind that Jon has to blink away tears. “There’s a good lad. Take ‘im to the closest A & E, will ya?” Jon watched as he shoved a pocketful of bills in the cabbies hand.

“Ed, you’ve already done enough-”

“Nonsense,” he waved Jon off, still looking at him with that mix of warmth and concern that Jon so desperately needed. “You just get that checked out, y’hear? An’ come back in one piece!” With that, he shut the door and gave him a wave, standing in place until the car was out of sight.

Jon couldn’t hold back his tears after that.

_______

Jon comes in the next day, arm freshly broken and in a sling, medicated to the gills. He paused at first, considering not taking the pain medication but he eventually gave in as the pain progressed throughout the morning. He’s a little late and he’s going to have to march past his assistants’ desks and attempt to avoid questions. 

“Whoa there, boss! What happened?” Tim says immediately upon his arrival. Jon avoids his gaze and looks to the ground, walking as quickly as possible to his office and shutting the door. He deserves a bit of peace before the inevitable interrogation.

Of course, he would never be so lucky. All three assistants are soon hovering around the doorway, looking at him with a worry he doesn’t deserve. He sighs as he casts his eyes to the desk and slumps down in his chair.

“Took a spill yesterday, nothing serious,” he mutters in as staid a tone as he could manage. “Now, if you could please get back to work-”

“You’re not getting out of this that easily,” Sasha says, coming over to his desk, Tim not far behind. Martin stays in the doorway, ever polite. “You were fine we left!”

“It happened shortly afterwards. I advise none of you to use the stepladder for the time being.” He manages a weak smile that none of them return.

“Stepladder? Boss, I told you not to use that anymore!” Tim plops down in a chair, legs immediately going over the arm of it. Jon always imagined them talking in the office like this- a stupid fantasy he entertained when he first got the position. No one had ever sat in those chairs, they just stood in his office and counted the seconds until they could leave. ‘Why didn’t you ask us for help?”

“I-I was going to,” he begins, feeling instantly guilty at the thought of making them feel bad. “But- well, you looked like you had plans.”

Tim and Sasha exchanged a look. “You should’ve at least called us when it happened,” Sasha says, a hand on his desk. Jon aches to take it. “We were right around the corner.”

“I know,” he says. He feels out of it, vulnerable and loose and unmoored. Likely from the meds. 

“You knew and you still didn’t call?” Martin this time, his voice incredulous.

“I didn’t think you would come,” his voice is no more than a whisper and his chest aches something fierce. His hands tighten into fists at the silence that follows; he nervously starts to fill it.

“I know-look, it’s fine we’re not friends any more,” he starts, trying to keep his voice level. “But it- it just seems like you don’t want me to be your boss either?” His voice goes higher in pitch and he can’t seem to stop babbling. “I just- I need to know where I stand. So I know what’s okay to ask. I know this isn’t ideal but I- I need help sometimes. Not a lot, just...just sometimes.” 

“Jon,” Tim has a hand on his arm and an urgency in his voice. “That’s not- of course we would have come. Of course.” 

“I didn’t want you to laugh at m-me.” Christ, could he not get a handle on his emotions for five goddamn minutes? Why was he still talking?

“We would never laugh-” 

“But you did!” The words burst forward, almost a yell. “I-I saw you the other day. With Ryan- laughing at me. You know I don’t-” The breaths come quick and he can feel the tears coming down his face. God, what a mess he was. “I don’t understand where it all went wrong. If- if you don’t like me, why did you accept this job? Why are you here? What- what do I need to do better? Why were you laughing at me!” Jon dissolves into a mess of sobs as he slams his chair back from his desk, desperate to put as much space as he could between himself and his assistants.

But Jon never gets what he wants. Tim has his arms wound gently around his body, taking care to avoid the sling. And Sasha is there, a hand on his back as well.

“We- we weren’t laughing, Jon,” Tim tries, but Sasha cuts in.

“But we didn’t exactly tell him to knock it off, did we?” Her voice is angry and Jon doesn’t know who it’s aimed towards. He feels so stupid, so childish for breaking down like this but he knows what he saw. What he heard. “Ryan’s a jealous dick, he was just being mean. And...I guess we were being sort of mean, too.”

Tim takes over from there. “Look- things have gotten messy since we came down here, yeah? We’re...adjusting, that’s for sure. And I’m sorry that we made you feel like you did something wrong.”

“I- I did though, I must have-”

“No- Jon, look at me,” He hazards a glance at Sasha’s face, looking anywhere but her eyes. “You know me. Emotions aren’t particularly my forte. It’s- it’s a lot easier not to talk about things, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. It was a lot easier to hold onto my anger at being passed over, y’know?”

“If you told me- I would’ve had Elias switch us, I swear-”

“We don’t have to switch. To be honest, I don’t think I know how the fuck an Archive is supposed to be run either. At least not one like this,” She gestures to the room and Jon manages a weak smile. 

“I’m not very good when things get messy, either,” Tim admits, leaning awkwardly on a file cabinet in order to keep an arm around him. Jon hopes the gesture is genuine, and not just an attempt to placate the man having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the office. “But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I’ve been a right ass. So while I’m trying to make it up to you, how about you let me and Martin handle the top shelf from now on, yeah?” The joke feels familiar. This is territory Jon can manage.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jon wipes a hand across his face, finally feeling a bit more stable. “S’fine. I forgive you.” He takes the tissue Sasha offers. “Sorry for being so- er, dramatic. The pain medication is quite something, to be honest.”

“Oh God,” Sasha is suddenly all business. ‘“You shouldn’t be at work right now. Not like this- Tim’ll take you home, right?” Tim nods, tightening his arm around Jon’s shoulder.

“Yeah- you’re not going to get anything done like this, Jon. Have a rest, Sasha’ll tell Elias what’s going on, yeah?”

“Of course.”

There it is again- of course. Maybe if they keep saying that, it’ll make it true. 

Jon doesn’t argue as he’s ushered out of the Institute- whatever that was took a lot out of him, and he knows he’s useless to his team like this, dazed and unstable. Martin follows them outside- Jon had almost forgotten he was there. He had slipped out of the office during the worst of it, kindly giving them some space. He wants to thank him but he doesn’t know how. Instead he listens as Martin rattles off all the things Tim should watch out for, like a nervous mother hen.

“I got it, Martin,” Tim says patiently. “But I’ll call you if anything happens.” Martin reluctantly backs off, giving the two of them a wave as they drive out of the parking lot.

“Jon,” Tim begins, putting a special emphasis on his name. He missed being called Jon. “You know I’ll always come when you call. I promise. I’d- I’d never laugh at you, not like that.”

You know. Of course.

“Okay,” Jon responds, staring out the window. He hopes it’s true. If not, well- the words are a start, right?

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27334912

[babysizedfics]

Little Accidents, Big Developments

Chapter 8: Sink and Float

[This is an age regression story]

Chapter Summary: Roman is anxious, Virgil has some compelling things to say, Logan deduces Virgil’s true regression age, Patton gets emotional, and we say good-bye.

Chapter word count: 11,750

Other chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / bonus

Read on AO3 or below the cut!

Content warning: Light angst, but cuteness galore to make up for it.

oOo

‘All right, little prince. What should I write here?’

‘His coolness rating,’ Roman replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. His tongue stuck out slightly as he concentrated on his drawing; a picture of Kanga on the top half of a small piece of paper. Underneath the character were five rectangles, all coloured to varying levels of completion.

‘Of course,’ Patton said, nodding solemnly as he wrote “coolness” underneath the fifth rectangle on his own piece of paper. ‘And I’m guessing Tigger’s coolness rating is -’

‘Ten.’

‘Ten. Obviously,’ Patton giggled. He picked up the red crayon from the dining room table and coloured the final rectangle to completion. Just like the four rectangles above it. They signified Tigger’s bounciness, funniness, orangeness, and Roman’s seal of approval ratings, all maxed out. ‘I’m starting to think this card might be rigged.’

‘Nu-uh!’ Roman cried, finally looking up from his drawing with a pout. ‘Not rigged if it’s true. Tigger is the funniest, bounciest, orangest, coolest character, and he’s my favourite. He just has to win all of the rounds!’

Despite the frankly questionable logic, Patton was simply glad that Roman was back to his cheeky self.

While they baked, Roman had been strangely well-behaved. The way he had obediently mixed the batter, rolled the dough, and shaped the cookies without so much as a whinge was highly unusual. Patton was glad he didn’t have to tell the boy off for anything, of course, but there was nothing relieving in seeing Roman stand patiently at the side of the room while Patton washed up. There was no singing, no dancing, no bouncing, not so much as a peep from the little prince. It just wasn’t right.

Roman was boisterous, whether he was little or not; he was excitable and hyperactive and loud. Usually, he would have baulked at the mere suggestion of standing in silence awaiting instructions. Though that was precisely what he had done in the kitchen by his own volition, staring at his feet in quite a pensive manner.

By the time he had set the gingerbread haycorns and hunnypots on the counter to cool down, Patton had made the decision to extend their father-son bonding time. He knew Roman’s strange mood would persist if Patton didn’t get to the bottom of it.

‘Where are you going, sweetheart?’ Patton had asked when Roman had started walking towards the living room once Patton had finished the dishes.

‘Back with Vee and Mom,’ Roman had replied. ‘We can’t decorate them yet.’

‘It’s still father-son bonding time though! Why don’t we find something fun to do while we wait?’

He wasn’t quite as bouncy as Patton had hoped he would be, but Roman at least smiled at the suggestion.

Now, after almost an hour of crafting Pooh Cards (all design credit owing to Roman, of course), the creative side had finally been coaxed out of his sombre, contemplative mood. Patton himself had even perked up from the reassurance that he still knew what was best for his little prince.

‘What if another player that isn’t you gets Tigger’s card?’ Patton asked, neatening the edges of the coloured rectangle. He was careful not to budge Roman with his elbow as did so. ‘Won’t you be sad to lose?’

The scritch of Roman’s crayon paused for a moment, then continued. ‘It will be a worthy loss.’

What a funny little boy, Patton thought with a chuckle. Having finished with Tigger’s statistics, he put the crayon back in Roman’s Lion King pencil case. ‘Okay, last one!’ He slid the card across the table to Roman’s spot. ‘Do you need your dad’s help to draw Tigger?’ Patton asked. (Not so much because he was expecting a positive response, but because he knew the question reinforced both of their respective headspaces.)

‘I got it!’ An orange crayon was snatched from the table.

Patton sat back and watched as Roman drew his favourite character with a bright smile. It was impossible not to mirror it. ‘Once you’ve finished drawing Tigger we can decorate our cookies!’

‘Dad,’ Roman whined without looking up from his drawing, ‘they’re not cookies. They’re haycorns and hunnypots.’

‘Right, haycorns and hunnypots,’ Patton quickly corrected himself. ‘I keep making that mistake, don’t I?’

There was no response from Roman, who was clearly concentrating on getting Tigger’s tail just so.

‘Cutie pie,’ Patton couldn’t help but coo. When he pinched Roman’s cheek the younger side laughed so sincerely that Paton was hit by a wave of equal parts joy and guilt.

Joy because Roman was happy and so utterly adorable. Guilt because Patton clearly didn’t spend enough time with his little prince if this was such a rare sound to him.

‘I’ll get the icing ready,’ Patton whispered, leaving the room quickly.

By the time he had moved the cookies and the icing bowls into the dining room, Roman’s drawing was complete. Patton praised him heartily for his work (to which Roman blushed and giggled) as he arranged their workspace with the three different bowls of glace icing - yellow, pink, and mint green - and the cookies, plus a tube of white writing icing for the hunnypot labels.

Excited to be in charge of yet another creative project, Roman instantly took on a leading role. ‘Dad, you’ve gotta do the writing on the hunnypots and fen - and f-th-then I’m gonna do all the pretty colours!’

‘Right-o, kiddo!’ Patton saluted him, then got right to work. ‘You always have such wonderful ideas, don’t you, little prince?’ The lid to the writing icing tube put up a slight resistance as Patton unscrewed it.

‘Mhm… I’m clever,’ Roman mumbled slowly, concentrating as he spread some green icing onto one of the haycorn cookies.

‘Just like your mom. I’m sure him and Vee agree too.’

‘Vee thinks I’m clever?’ Roman asked, his voice a pitch higher from excitement.

‘Of course, sweetie. He looks up to you a lot.’ The tail of the “Y” that Patton piped accidentally curled off of the hunnypot in his hand. Patton placed the cookie back on the cooling rack and licked the sugary blob off from his fingertip. ‘You two are such lovely brothers - you’re practically inseparable.’

There was a gentle snap. Both Patton and Roman looked down to see that the haycorn in Roman’s hands had snapped in half.

‘Oh…’ Roman breathed as he looked down at the broken cookie. The pout on his face was so intense that Patton was almost worried he would start crying.

‘No, it’s okay. Here,’ Patton gently took the gingerbread pieces from his fingers. ‘Your dad can work his magic and glue it back together with icing. You just keep making them look pretty, sweetheart.’

They resumed decorating in silence, with something indescribable hanging heavily in the air between them. Patton kept quiet, allowing Roman space to speak if he wanted to say anything. Then, after a couple of minutes:

‘Dad?’

It sounded shy, so instead of looking at Roman and possibly making him more nervous, Patton’s eyes remained on the haycorn halves that he held together. White icing oozed from the crack as he waited for it to set. ‘Yes, my bright ray of sunshine?’

The nickname pulled a little giggle from Roman, brightening the atmosphere infinitely. He sounded a bit more confident when he asked, ‘Is, um… is Vee wearing a diaper?’

Patton’s gaze snapped onto Roman’s face in faint shock.

‘There was a weird sound when Mom moved him earlier,’ Roman explained. ‘And you said he feels littler ‘cause you tried something new.’

There was no variation of upset or amusement on Roman’s face, so Patton was not concerned when he confirmed, ‘Yes, he is wearing a diaper, you’re right.’ Though he still felt it important to add, ‘Does that make you feel okay?’

Roman quickly nodded, clearly desperate to show that he was not in opposition. ‘No, it’s fine. W-wait, I mean yeah! Yeah, it’s okay.’ His eyes fell down to the cookie in his hands as he continued decorating. ‘It makes sense. Babies need diapers, right?’

‘Right.’

The way Roman gazed at his cookie reminded Patton of how he had appeared in the kitchen; contemplative. It was clear that Roman had more to say, going by the way his toes tapped at the foot of Patton’s chair rapidly. Patton waited.

‘Okay, wait, so,’ Roman eventually said, sounding as if he were a student troubling himself over a difficult math problem and Patton was the teacher who could shed some light on its solution. ‘Virgil really can’t go to the toilet?’

Patton readjusted himself to lean his elbows on the table, settling in to patiently help Roman through his confusion. ‘Not when he’s regressed, no.’ The cookie halves wobbled a little in his hold.

‘And can he really not speak properly?’

This time Patton had to take a moment to think over his answer. He hadn’t actually considered questioning whether Virgil’s hindered speech was genuine. Now that he thought about it, Virgil did appear to try hard when he spoke while regressed. Although the babbles were quiet and seemed to meld into each other, they were notably forced. As if he was putting a lot of effort into getting them out. And yet they were only ever half-coherent at the best of times.

‘No,’ Patton said, smiling to himself at the realisation. ‘I don’t think he can.’ The reminder that Virgil’s regression was all-encompassing sent a rush of excitement racing through Patton’s veins. He truly was responsible for an incredibly vulnerable baby. While that thought might have been intimidating to some, Patton was filled with pure comfort at the mere thought. It was like he was finally fulfilling his purpose. It was like coming home.

‘So… Vee is really, actually a baby.’ Roman’s eyes were wide and his voice laced with astonishment.

‘Yes,’ Patton confirmed with a giggle. It sounded like this was a new revelation to Roman. ‘Your baby brother is really, actually a baby.’

Roman’s brow pulled into a light frown as his spoon swiped over his cookie one last time before dropping into the icing bowl with a clatter.

It was clear Roman wanted to ponder over the answer, for whatever reason, so Patton turned his attention to testing the cookie in his hands. At the slightest pressure, the two halves broke free from each other, and he tutted. Replenishing the icing more liberally this time, he held the jagged edges together firmly again.

‘I like that,’ Roman muttered.

‘What’s that, sweetie?’

‘I like having a baby brother.’ Patton saw Roman nodding as if assuring himself of his decision. ‘I don’t want Vee to be like me, I like that we’re different.’

The last part seemingly came from nowhere, and the whole discussion seemed oddly disjointed, though Patton didn’t show his confusion. Instead, he opted for his standard smile of loving support, which would always be appropriate in any situation as far as Patton was concerned.

‘Well, I’m glad you like it!’ His tone bounced cheerfully. ‘And I know that Vee really loves having a big brother.’

‘Hm,’ Roman hummed and picked up a hunnypot cookie to decorate. Something in the slow movements of his fingers as he iced the treat felt off.

Patton nudged him gently, jostling his elbow. A sympathetic smile wormed its way onto his lips when he saw distant eyes snap onto him. Roman’s throat rolled with a gulp.

‘What’s the matter, little prince?‘ Patton murmured sweetly. It never took Roman long to blurt any troubling thoughts that hurtled through his mind when Patton asked about them with such softness.

Right on cue, Roman sighed explosively. Then he began: ‘Now that I’m part of the family -’

(Patton’s heart twisted. Now that Roman was part of the family. As if he hadn’t been before.)

‘- I’m kind of…’ Roman paused, nibbling his lip. His eyes fell to the table as he whispered, ‘I’m scared.’

Patton instantly dropped his cookie to the table. He didn’t care that it split apart once more, leaving a thin line of white, sugary goop on the wooden surface - his only priority at that moment was Roman. His little prince always placed so much importance on being fiercely brave and strong. Patton knew this must have been an exceptional circumstance for him to actually admit to feeling afraid.

‘What are you scared of, honey?’ he asked, his tone as steady and firm as the arm he placed around Roman’s shoulders. It was of utmost importance that Roman saw him as a supportive, strong father figure during that moment of rare vulnerability. It had to be known that Patton would protect him from anything that was causing him distress.

‘I’m scared it’ll end.’ Thankfully, Roman clearly found Patton supportive enough to lean against him as he spoke. ‘You know, us being a family.’

It was difficult to contain the urge to shrug off the mere idea. Though Patton knew better than to dismiss his loved ones’ worries, no matter how seemingly unlikely. ‘Why do you think it will end?’ he asked instead.

A sharp shrug jostled both of their bodies. ‘I don’t know… What if Vee stops regressing?’

‘I don’t think that will happen,’ Patton said gently as he swayed them to and fro. The weight against his side got heavier as Roman leaned into his one-armed embrace. ‘Your mom thinks the regression is written right into Virgil’s brain since he’s done it for so many years. It’s a part of him.’

‘Okay…’ Roman sounded uncertain still, reaching forward to fidget with the hem of Patton’s cardigan. ‘What if me and him start arguing all the time again?’

Taking the long fingers in his own, Patton whispered, ‘You won’t,’ with absolute confidence. ‘I don’t think you could go back to how you used to be after everything you boys have shared with each other.’

When Patton pressed a soft kiss to Roman’s cheek, he honestly expected to feel the tension leave Roman’s body.

Instead, the grip around Patton’s fingers tightened painfully. ‘What if he says he doesn’t wanna be brothers anymore?’ Roman’s words were frantic, panicked. ‘I don’t wanna lose him, he’s the best brother I…’

Silence reigned.

Patton’s gaze sunk to the tabletop where the two halves of the haycorn cookie lay torn apart, joined only by a thin trail of icing.

‘I just don’t want us to be split up,’ Roman whispered brokenly.

Memories flooded Patton’s mind. Of two boisterous children, identical twins, perpetually by each other’s sides despite their constant arguing. Of fearsome fights; scratching and biting and screaming. And of a thought, just a thought, that had passed through Patton’s mind one sunny day like an innocent floating cloud. The thought that one of the twins had potential and that the other was… wrong.

Memories of the following day and only seeing one child come out from their room. Of little snippets of conversation between Janus and Logan. Of realising that the other twin had not ceased to exist, but had been moved to the lower parts of the mind. (No one understood how. It was the only time a side had been moved between the conscious and the subconscious.) (That would change over a decade later when Virgil timidly knocked on their door.)

Memories of the “good” twin - Roman - seeming unaffected by the loss of his brother. Happier, even, that his ideas had no contenders. That there was no longer a double of him suggesting all manner of disturbing things that Patton simply could not stand to hear.

Warm fingers tightened further around his.

As Patton’s awareness was reeled against that cold, crashing wave of regret, his mind spluttered. Unaffected? Patton realised now the ridiculousness of the mere notion that Roman would have been unchanged by the split. By the fleeting thought from Patton - he himself still being a child at the time - that had acted as the catalyst for such an irrevocable shift in the twins’ lives. In everyone’s lives.

‘Dad?’ Roman’s gentle voice broke the surface of Patton’s turbulent reverie.

With a steadying breath, Patton forced himself back to the present and clasped both hands around Roman’s. He prayed that the tightness of his grip would dispel the trembling of his fingers.

‘You and Virgil love each other very much,’ he said, ‘and you’ve both become a lot better at showing it; when you’re little and when you’re big. Even if you did argue, you could never stop being brothers. Not now. I promise, nothing will -’ Patton’s voice was suddenly strangled by an involuntary gulp. He felt his cheeks burn as he swallowed past the knot of nerves in his throat. ‘Nothing will tear you apart,’ he finished quietly.

‘What if you and Logan break up?’

It was easy to forget how different Roman’s voice was when he was little. Him being such a master at adapting his voice for different roles, the shift in tone was subtle, though effective. The slightest bit higher in pitch, though not unnaturally so. Much bouncier in intonation, but not inappropriately so. Changed, but not overexaggerated. (Perhaps Roman was accustomed to minimising the impact of changes, Patton realised.)

Though now it was clear. This question was deeper, louder, bigger than the previous ones. It was a question from adult Roman.

Patton sighed and met Roman’s eyes equally. At that moment he was no longer a father speaking to his son, but rather a friend reassuring a friend.

‘If, for whatever reason, Logan and I stop dating…’ Patton paused. That was the first time he had verbally acknowledged that they were an item. It truly felt amazing to admit to someone besides Logan himself. Though it was a melancholy experience, to be announcing their relationship while simultaneously theorising its demise. ‘If that ever happens then we’ll still be very good friends. And we will all still be a family, I promise.’

The reluctance faded from Roman’s expression and he wriggled his hand free from Patton’s hold. A finger raised between their faces. ‘Pinky promise?’ Roman asked in childlike hopefulness.

Patton curled his little finger around Roman’s. ‘Pinky promise,’ he said earnestly.

Taking advantage of the fact that Roman’s hand was apprehended - and desperate to distract from the loaded atmosphere - Patton swiped some icing onto Roman’s face.

‘Hey!’

‘What’s wrong?’ Patton asked in mock-confusion.

Roman glared at him past a smile. ‘There’s icing on my cheek!’

‘Oh, let me get that for you!’ Patton pressed a long, wet kiss to Roman’s cheek, the icing spreading between his lips.

‘Da-ha-d,’ Roman giggled, trying to squirm away.

With a loud smack of his lips, Patton pulled away laughing. As he licked his lips clean, he took a moment to appreciate the pure joy on Roman’s face. ‘I love you, little prince. And I love Virgil and I love Logan. And I know for a fact that you all love each other too. That will never, ever end. No matter what.’

There was a loud screech of chair legs against the floorboards then Roman was on his feet, hunching over to hold Patton in a deadly-tight hug. Patton returned it with a strained wheeze.

‘I don’t want it to end,’ Roman mumbled into his shoulder. ‘I don’t want anything to change.’

That was a loaded statement if Patton had ever heard one. The sentiment behind it was clear and admirable, of course. Like Roman, Patton too loved how their family was faring and wouldn’t change it for the world. Though he was hit by the reality of just how much had changed in the past few weeks, the past few days, even the past few hours!

Regardless, he knew what Roman meant, and he wasn’t one to magnify the ambiguity of language choices. That was Logan’s job.

So - despite his uncertainty in the generalisation of the statement - Patton held Roman closer and said, ‘Nothing will change, sweetheart.’

oOo

As much as he had enjoyed his and Roman’s Father-Son bonding time (which they agreed would become a weekly ritual from then on), Patton was more than eager to return to the living room and be the happy pappy again.  It was hard to shake the melancholy from the earlier conversation, after all.

Once the hunnypots and haycorns were decorated and left to set in the kitchen, the two traipsed back down the hallway. Patton stopped just short of opening the living room door when he heard a muffled, unintelligible conversation coming from the other side of it.

He looked behind him to Roman, who mirrored his confusion. The distant voices sounded as if they were holding a full-fledged discussion. Could Virgil have been grown-up again?

Patton pushed the door open with a deep disappointment that he didn’t quite want to acknowledge. Though on poking his head into the room, it didn’t take long to see that Virgil was still regressed and in Logan’s lap. He sighed in relief.

‘Mamanaba,’ Virgil muttered, rattling Meeko with fervour. The inflection of his voice was similar to that of normal speech, even if the actual content was gibberish and his tone was still decidedly babyish.

Logan’s hands readjusted on Virgil to hold him steady as the boy kept bouncing in his lap. ‘My goodness, I never considered such a thing! Though I don’t believe that is quantifiable.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Roman laughed from behind Patton, then stepped around him in the direction of the couch.

There was nothing but pure paternal instinct that made Patton hurriedly reach out and pull Roman backwards against his chest and into his arms. He just could not bear to see the others being so sweet while his own arms were empty of one of his babies. Thankfully, Roman just settled against him and didn’t comment on it.

‘This is an academic debate, little prince,’ Logan explained very seriously, offering one of his false-stern looks. His lips twitched. ‘No interruptions, please.’

‘W-waba, mamama,’ Virgil babbled, his voice now squeaky with excitement.

Logan gasped loudly and looked at Virgil in amazement, to which the regressor giggled. ‘What a fascinating hypothesis! But have you considered the subjectivity of such a theory?’

There was a moment of quiet while Virgil looked over at the doorway to Patton and Roman. It seemed he had only just noticed their appearance. Meeko was raised to hide Virgil’s face as he collapsed against Logan’s chest. ‘Baba,’ Virgil whined, muffled by the toy at his chin.

A loud chuckle rang out. ‘Well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about,’ Logan said, cupping the back of Virgil’s head protectively.

‘Mom, can you speak baby?’ Roman asked, sounding thoroughly impressed. As he spoke, he launched himself away from Patton’s chest and skipped over to stand in front of the couch.

‘It certainly sounds like it,’ Patton murmured, watching Roman go. The sudden emptiness in his arms couldn’t hold a candle to the emptiness in his chest. Why was he so sensitive all of a sudden? Why did his chest physically ache when he wasn’t holding his boys?

Then his thoughts came to a crashing stop. No. This wasn’t about him and what he wanted. Roman obviously didn’t want a hug so he was perfectly within his right to wriggle out of it. Patton had been keeping him from his brother, after all. The memories of his and Roman’s previous conversation rose in tides, threatening to spill over. Patton had been keeping Roman from his brother again.

‘What did you two get up to, little prince?’ Logan asked. ‘Did you have fun with your dad?’

As Roman launched into an impassioned regaling of the creation of Pooh Cards and his expert cookie decorating skills, Patton floated over to the couch - specifically towards the baby in Logan’s lap. His knuckle ghosted over Virgil’s smooth cheek and elicited a small coo from him. The contact and the sweet sound filled Patton with a sudden motivation that he hadn’t realised he had been lacking.

Then Virgil pulled himself to sit up from Logan’s chest and shook his rattle right by Patton’s ear with a bright smile that threatened to dislodge his pacifier. ‘Babababa.’

‘What a fun sound!’ Patton gushed, only faintly acknowledging that Roman’s monologue had just drawn to a close. ‘I see someone’s woken up a bit since we left.’

‘He is rather enraptured by the rattling sound,’ Logan said, shuffling Virgil in his lap so that he could more directly face the others. (It was true, the way Virgil stared at his toy looked as if we were both confused and amazed by the sounds coming from it; almost spellbound.) ‘I think it’s safe to say that it is a “good stim”.’ He directed his gaze to Roman and said, ‘Virgil appreciates his present from you Roman, even if he is not able to tell you as much at the moment. Thank you for making your little brother happy.’

Roman flopped down to sit on the couch a couple of feet away from Logan with pink cheeks. ‘S’okay,’ he muttered with a nonchalant shrug that was betrayed by his wide smile.

Quite unexpectedly, Virgil whined loudly and dropped Meeko to the couch. Then he wriggled and reached his arms out towards his brother so insistently that he slid right off of Logan’s lap.

‘Vee!’ Logan yelped.

Patton acted lightning fast, dropping to his knees and catching Vee in one fell swoop. A fraction of a second later and Virgil would have hit the ground.

‘Woah, there we go.’ Patton hoisted Virgil onto his hip and stood upright again, keeping a firm arm under Virgil’s diaper to support him. ‘Are you okay, angel?’ he asked breathlessly, residual adrenaline surging through his veins.

The shock didn’t fade from Virgil’s expression for several seconds. Then, at last, his eyes swam with thick tears and he broke into a constant stream of whimpers.

‘Aww, my little baby,’ Patton cooed. He started bouncing him lightly as parents often did with wailing infants. ‘You’re all right, sweetie. Shh-shh-shh.’ Virgil’s whimpers quickly quieted at the bouncing so Patton kept it up, warm adoration swelling in his chest at just how alike a real baby Virgil was.

With a wet sniffle, Virgil buried his face against Patton’s shoulder.

‘That’s it,’ Patton murmured. ‘Papa has you, you’re safe.’ He felt a pinch at his side and looked down to see that Virgil was gripping his cardigan and tugging on the material harshly. Without looking away from his baby, Patton held his free hand out to the couch. ‘Can someone please pass me Meeko?’

A few seconds passed without any softness being pressed into his hands. Patton looked over to find Logan and Roman sat staring at him in stunned silence.

It felt as though he had unknowingly done something horribly wrong. Heat flooded his cheeks. ‘What’s wrong, what did I do?’ Was he being a bad Dad? Would they take his baby away? His grip on Virgil tightened.

‘N-nothing,’ Logan stammered.

A loud snort sounded from Roman. ‘Wow, Dad’s pretty strong, isn’t he, Mom?’

‘Oh,’ Patton breathed with a nervous chuckle, trying to hide how utterly relieved he was. The look of betrayal Logan was directing towards Roman inspired enough amusement for it to be passable. ‘You carried him earlier too, Lo.’

‘I know that,’ Logan defended, his cheeks dusting pink as he looked back at Patton. ‘Just… not with one arm.’

Patton’s eyes trailed down to realise that he was indeed bouncing Virgil easily with only one arm. 

Logan cleared his throat then muttered, ‘It is rather impressive.’

‘Well, I’m a dad,’ Patton giggled lightly. He would never have imagined Logan would be flustered by such a thing. ‘Dads need to be strong for Dad Stuff!’

‘Like catching Moms when they swoon.’

At Roman’s cheeky remark, Logan’s mouth dropped open. The creative side quickly descended into giggles.

Patton witnessed the shock on Logan’s face be wiped away by an evil grin. ‘Oh, I’ll give you something to laugh about.’ Then Roman was being tugged towards Logan’s chest, Logan’s fingers wriggling in his underarms.

‘W-wait! Wait!’ Roman’s legs kicked against the couch as he was dragged into Logan’s lap. ‘Mom, ple-he-he-ase!’ he pleaded through already hysterical laughter.

Patton giggled and shook his head. It wasn’t often Logan tickled their little prince, but when he did he was merciless. Roman’s begging would not help him.

Amongst the raucous laughter and tumbling on the couch, Patton managed to swipe Meeko from the cushion before Roman’s ankles thrust into it with a squeal.

‘Here you are, honey bunny,’ Patton said, worming the toy between his cardigan and Virgil’s fingers.

The weight on his shoulder lifted as Virgil looked up with a curious hum. On seeing that he had been reunited with his raccoon, his eyes sparkled with joy rather than tears. And, as expected, he rattled the toy for what must have been the hundredth time.

‘Why did you jump off of Mama’s lap, Vee?’ Patton asked, fully aware that Virgil might not have been old enough to even understand the question. It was worth a try at least.

The question seemed to break Virgil from the trance the rattle had him under and he started whining and wriggling violently.

‘Baby, baby, it’s okay,’ Patton tried to soothe him. It was only met with louder whines and harder kicks. ‘All right, down we go,’ he sang, doing his best to make the words bounce with joy. It was difficult considering the immense sinking sensation in his stomach as he carefully lowered Virgil to the floor.

‘Is everything all right?’

Patton looked up at Logan’s breathless question, pleasantly surprised to see Roman still in Logan’s lap, finally free of the tickle attack.

‘I just asked him why he jumped off your lap.’

At the reminder, Virgil thrust his arms out towards Roman again and pleaded, ‘Wo… Wo-Wo!’

‘I didn’t do anything!’ Roman’s shoulders raised defensively as he looked to Patton. ‘It wasn’t my fault he fell!’

‘We know that, little prince. It’s all right,’ Logan assured him, embracing him to his chest.

With a gentle smile, Patton realised that Virgil was not blaming Roman for the fall whatsoever. ‘Sweetheart, I think Vee just wants to play with you.’

Virgil’s arms stretched even further into the empty space between himself and the couch. ‘Pway!’

‘Oh, um,’ Roman hesitated, looking at the ground and running his fingers over Logan’s arms, which were fastened around his waist.

‘I would like to stretch my legs anyway,’ Logan said, carefully sliding Roman off of his lap.

There was a short moment of thick quiet. It was over in an instant as Logan quickly rose to his feet, announcing that he would fetch some more toys for them before promptly leaving the room.

Before long, Logan had returned with supplies and the caregivers had set up a baby-safe play area for the boys. A large fluffy blanket lay across half of the living room floor and more than two dozen soft toys sat around the edges of the blanket, cordoning off the area. Around the room, cushions and pillows padded the harsh corners of the coffee table, TV unit, and radiator to avoid any painful bumps.

Roman was as bubbly as ever, overspilling with exuberant playfulness as he finally had his little brother’s full attention.

‘And what doth the King Meeko have to say to this usurper?’ Roman cried regally, bouncing his stuffed dog Bumpkin in his hands to indicate that he was speaking.

Virgil giggled and bounced in place where he sat against the foot of the armchair, carefully propped up by two pillows. His laughter mixed with the rattles coming from Meeko as he shook him.

‘Vee, what do you want Bumpkin to say?’ Logan mumbled from where he sat beside Patton on the couch.

A happy hum rolled from Patton’s chest. It was rare that they got a chance to sit together while both boys were little, but Virgil had gotten surprisingly fussy when Logan tried to sit with him on the blanket. It seemed the excitement of being with Roman had chased away his languid energy and he wanted to sit alone with his brother while they played.

Despite Patton’s increasing panic at seeing his little baby sitting all on his own, not in his arms, Patton felt comforted by Logan’s closeness. It meant he could run his fingers idly over Logan’s thigh as Logan’s arm draped heavily across his shoulders. He took the rare moment of casual intimacy in stride. Usually, they had to sneak around while the boys were asleep to cuddle and kiss. Though since he had spoken so openly about their relationship with Roman in the dining room, and seeing as Virgil was either unbothered by or unaware of their displays of affection, they allowed themselves this intimate moment.

‘A-ababa,’ Virgil babbled, pointing to the soft toy in Roman’s hands.

Roman sucked in a pained breath through his teeth. ‘Oof. That’s brutal, Vee.’ It earned him a bright symphony of babyish giggles.

Over the next few minutes, Patton brought his cellphone out to take pictures of the littles. Then when Logan pointed out that he had taken more than twenty almost identical photographs, Patton rolled his eyes with a playful nudge to his partner. He would have easily taken a thousand pictures if it meant he could remember this day by the adorable scene in front of him, rather than the blunt, heavy regret hammering away within him. 

‘How old is Vee right now?’ Patton wondered aloud, partly because he was watching Virgil through his phone screen. Partly because he just needed Logan’s voice to drown out Roman’s sorrowful words from earlier that kept replaying in his head.

‘Going by his babbling and playfulness,’ Logan replied, ‘I would place him around eight or nine months.’

All of the breath wrung from Patton’s lungs as he snapped his gaze onto Logan. ‘Months?’

Not seeming to notice Patton’s shock, Logan continued watching the boys with a gentle smile and nodded.

‘That’s way younger than he usually is…’ Patton placed his phone down on the couch, feeling shaky all of a sudden.

‘I am not so certain.’ A thumb started circling softly over Patton’s knuckles as Logan explained in a low murmur, ‘At first he told us he regressed from two to five years old. Though I have been observing his behaviour over the past few weeks, and I believe he has been greatly mistaken in this estimation.’

The soft material of Logan’s slacks bunched between Patton’s fingers. ‘What, do you think he’s not that old?’ The new information bombarded him with the horrible thought that he hadn’t been doing his job as a father if he hadn’t even noticed how old Virgil was when he regressed.

Gaze fixed on their boys, lips fixed in an oblivious smile, Logan went on: ‘Nothing I have seen of his regression has suggested he is ever older than two and a half years - though even then, being that old is rare for him.’ He tilted his head in thought, which would have been adorable had Patton’s vision not been pulsating with his frantic heartbeat. ‘I wonder whether he misunderstands developmental stages, or whether it is simply a case of him being unaware of his own behaviour patterns.’

‘What ages does he actually regress to?’ Patton whispered. He stared intently at Logan, desperate for the answer that he had apparently been too incompetent to see for himself.

With utmost confidence, Logan said, ‘Three to twenty-four months.’

Hot tears sprang to Patton’s eyes. ‘Three months…’ he echoed under his breath. Practically a newborn. With a gulp, Patton’s watery eyes settled on Virgil. A newborn who had been alone for so many years.

His wet eyes being glued on Virgil’s steadily blurrier form, Patton was startled when he felt Logan’s arm pushing insistently at his shoulders. Within seconds Patton was on his feet and being swiftly ushered into the hallway. His heart lurched when the blue and purple blob fell out of sight as he was guided past the corner of the doorway and the tears finally fell to his cheeks.

‘Your dad and I are right outside if you need us. Keep playing with your little brother,’ Logan’s voice said, then the door was pulled mostly shut and Patton was surrounded by long, warm arms. ‘What’s wrong, Patton?’

It all happened so quickly that he had no hope of burying his emotions, so Patton didn’t speak. He just clung to Logan and sniffled into his shoulder, thinking about what he had learned. About Virgil being so young and consequently about everything he had ever had to deal with on his own. The loneliness, the accidents, the bullies.

Patton bit his tongue through a wave of overwhelming anger. Over the course of the next minute, he simply took in deep, shaky breaths, glad that Logan did nothing but tap out one-second intervals on his back to aid his breathing.

Then, just as he thought he had overcome the worst of it, a babyish giggle rang from behind the living room door.

A sob wrenched its way from Patton’s throat.

‘My love, please tell me what’s wrong,’ Logan pleaded, his voice gentle though pained.

‘Sorry,’ Patton choked, pulling his face back from Logan’s shoulder to scrub his sleeve over his eyes. When he opened them and caught the utter sincerity in Logan’s concerned expression, the tears started anew. What exactly had Patton done to deserve such a wonderful man?

Patton couldn’t bear to hold back his lament any longer, keeping quiet so as not to upset the boys in the next room. ‘He’s just so - he’s literally just a baby. He’s innocent and - and vulnerable and -’ his voice wobbled and broke off with a shuddered breath. As he recollected all Virgil had told them of the hate he received on his blog, that same boiling rage oozed through Patton’s entire being. It stung and made him tremble. Like poison. ‘I can’t believe those horrible people would bully him for it!’

At the hissed tone, Logan’s face crumpled with a wince. Patton was ready to vehemently apologise for himself - about to claim he had no idea where that came from, it wasn’t him at all - until Logan said, ‘I know. I am angry too.’

There was no way Patton could have predicted how comforting those four words were. They doused the fire in his chest and left him dumbstruck. The raging indignance that had been snapping and flaring within him all afternoon suddenly disappeared and all that was left was a smouldering, pathetic sorrow.

Patton slumped back into Logan’s arms in defeat.

‘He was on his own for so many years, Lo. It’s bad enough he couldn’t look after himself,’ Patton whispered and shook his head, Logan’s shirt rustling faintly with the movement, ‘but on top of that some strangers attacked him just for - for -’

‘For trying to feel safe,’ Logan finished, twining his fingers gently in Patton’s thick hair.

Delighted, squeaky laughter echoed from the living room.

‘Not everyone is accepting.’ The deep voice vibrated in Logan’s chest. Patton held onto him tighter. ‘It is an unfortunate reality in both Thomas’ world and ours, and I understand it is upsetting. As much as we would like to, we simply cannot protect our boys from every possible threat.’

The icy pang of dread in Patton’s gut was twice as toxic as the scalding anger from before. What was Patton’s whole purpose if not to look after his family?

‘Virgil was not completely helpless to it, though,’ Logan continued. ‘He disabled anonymous asks without being prompted to do so. That shows he had the foresight to prevent it from happening again. He was protecting himself.’

Gentle shivers radiated over Patton’s scalp as Logan’s fingernails combed through his hair. ‘That’s meant to be our job,’ he argued weakly, ‘and he didn’t even tell us about it.’

‘Not at first,’ Logan conceded. ‘Still, that does not mean he did not trust us.’ Then Logan pulled back from the hug, leaving Patton cold. ‘You know how reluctant he is to share things that he perceives as embarrassing. Your conversation with him yesterday proves as much,’ he said, turning and walking down the hallway.

‘Where are you going?’ Patton shrieked, his hands curling into tight fists by his sides.

Logan looked back in shock. Then he carefully reached out to pick up the tissue box that sat on the cabinet by the staircase. The movement was slow, and Logan watched Patton all the while as if he were a startled animal that had to be monitored.

Shame flooded Patton. ‘Oh. Sorry, just… not done cuddling you yet.’

A soft smile replaced Logan’s frown and he brought a couple of tissues back to Patton, holding him again and dabbing at his itchy eyes. ‘I didn’t realise you would be competing with a box of tissues for my attention,’ Logan chuckled.

Patton knew it was a joke, of course he did. He loved jokes and he loved that Logan was finally comfortable enough in himself to make them without fearing people's opinions of him. But suddenly the heat in his chest was reignited.

‘Why didn’t you just summon them?’ Patton asked flatly.

The tissue that Logan stroked over his cheekbone faltered.

‘You always say how important it is that we don’t challenge the mindscape,’ Patton went on, glad that this topic had distracted Logan enough from his sudden clinginess. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you summon since you realised the whole - what’s it called?’

‘Equivalent exchange,’ Logan supplied, blushing. It was he who realised that the programming he had set up for their mindscape to follow real world laws of physics glitched whenever the sides took advantage of their powers; summoning an object would make another of similar mass and/or sentimental worth disappear, and breaking the laws of physics would train the mindscape to disparage Logan’s carefully crafted code. For the sake of stability in their environment, they had long since all agreed to sacrifice the convenience of summoning unless in emergencies. Logan most of all, which is why Patton was so shocked when he saw he had summoned a baby book earlier. ‘I understand it was hypocritical of me to break my own rule. I apologise, it won’t be happening again.’

Patton nodded. He didn’t want Logan to think he was upset with him, though he was satisfied that he had redirected the conversation effectively. ‘What was so urgent about a baby book anyway?’

‘I could not think of anything to calm Vee down,’ Logan explained, pocketing the crumpled tissue as Patton’s face was perfectly dry by then. ‘Regretfully, I acted quite impulsively in response to his crying.’

‘Oh no, was the poor thing upset?’ Patton asked, all harsh emotion replaced by softness and concern for his little one.

With a soft sigh, Logan leaned forward to press a kiss to Patton’s forehead. ‘You know how his separation anxiety is,’ he murmured against his skin, lingering there.

Patton frowned at Logan’s chest. ‘He still has separation anxiety?’

‘Of course,’ Logan said, putting some distance between them to look down at him.

‘But,’ Patton blinked rapidly, ‘earlier he was okay with me leaving and he - he hid from me, I thought -’

‘Patton, it doesn’t disappear from one positive experience,’ Logan explained, his arms still wrapped around Patton’s shoulders. ‘It may have been dimmed momentarily though it is still very much present. I believe it may be a permanent fixture of his headspace, simply due to the ages he regresses to and his anxious nature.’

‘Oh… okay.’ It was hard to know what else to say. Earlier Patton had thought he was proud of Virgil for overcoming his separation anxiety. But hearing that Virgil would perhaps never get over it sent a wave of warm comfort over Patton. He wanted to smile, but the fluffy feeling was sullied by something. Something distant that he couldn’t identify. Something unpleasant.

‘Do you know what time it is?’ Logan asked softly, spoken as if it were a love confession.

Patton instinctively reached into his pocket, only to come out empty-handed. ‘Sorry, I must have left my phone in -’

A featherlight touch at his lips made Patton fall silent: Logan’s fingertips. He could feel Logan’s pulse thrumming through them.

‘It’s later,’ Logan whispered, his eyes swimming with utter adoration. Then the soft fingertips were replaced by softer lips and Patton fell into a dream.

They floated together for a while, suspended in the short space between their hearts. After a few gentle pecks and a quick swipe of tongues, Logan pulled away.

‘That was sweet,’ Patton whispered airily, letting his eyes flutter open. Then he saw that Logan was frowning deeply at him.

‘Patton…’ Logan licked his lips and grimaced a little. He started chuckling, ‘Just how much lemon did you put in your tea?’

It wrenched Patton from his dreamy state.

Guilt. The unpleasant feeling that was sullying his emotions was guilt. Guilt because how could he think himself supportive of his family if in the face of their developments his response had been extreme jealousy? So extreme that he had had to literally suck on a lemon to pull himself out of it.

As if that weren’t awful enough, Patton had actually felt happy when he learned Virgil would continue to be distressed by his separation anxiety.  He had failed his baby, just like he had failed his little prince by neglecting him and not recognising his insecurities. He had failed at being a dad; the one thing he thought he knew. Why was he even trying to be a caregiver when he kept accidentally hurting his family?

Roman called loudly from the living room, ‘Dad?’

A switch flipped in Patton’s brain. No, he wouldn’t give up. His boys needed their dad and that had to be him. No matter how many mistakes he made, how wrong he was, Patton would never let go of the only thing in the world he could do. He would never let go of his purpose. The one thing he lived for.

He was nothing if he couldn’t be Papa Patton.

He slipped right past Logan, not caring to check his reaction to Patton’s avoidance. With a huge smile, Patton bounced into the living room. ‘What’s up, my majestic little songbird?’

It was immediately clear why Roman had called.

Where Virgil had been sitting on the blanket before they left the room, giggling and rattling Meeko excitedly, both boys now sat. Roman’s arm was thrown over Virgil’s shoulders protectively, supporting the younger boy as he swayed and blinked slowly. His eyes were decidedly teary and he was tugging at his pacifier again.

‘Oh, my sweet little baby,’ Patton cooed, rushing over to them. The storm of guilt and jealousy cleared from his mind in an instant, leaving him a little light-headed. It was replaced by a muffled determination and affection that made everything seem softer around the edges.

Dropping to his knees, Patton pulled Virgil into a hug. There was a little whimper, and then his shoulder was immediately used as a hiding spot for Virgil’s face. ‘What happened, Roman?’ Patton asked, leaning back against the foot of the armchair. He rested his hand atop Virgil’s head and felt as though his heart had started beating for the first time in hours.

‘He just froze and went super quiet all of a sudden,’ Roman explained, letting go of his brother and collapsing back onto the blanket with a pout. ‘Then he didn’t wanna play anymore.’

‘It’s all right, Roman,’ Logan said, settling onto the floor beside Roman with a reassuring pat on his knee. ‘Virgil can play with you again another time.’ He began clearing the mess of various toys on the blanket, assembling them into an ordered line.

‘Are you upset, baby?’ Patton whispered, rocking Virgil slightly in his hold.

As was to be expected, there was no answer. Virgil only hid his face against Patton more fiercely.

‘Perhaps it was the separation anxiety.’

Patton nodded faintly at Logan’s suggestion, but internally he knew that wasn’t it. In the past, if Virgil was anxious about being separated from Patton he was much more vocal in his upset; sobbing and whining loudly. Plus he certainly hadn’t heard Virgil calling out for him before Roman beckoned him in, so Patton remained doubtful that that was the issue.

Another difference became obvious as Virgil hugged Patton tighter, forcing Patton to hunch down a little to accommodate it. Where Virgil would always scramble into Patton’s lap at being reunited with him, this time he had remained on the floor with his legs pulled tightly to his chest. Patton experimentally nudged Virgil’s knees to convince him to lower them but was met with a whine and Virgil’s whole body tensed up.

As Patton shushed his baby and swayed him back and forth, he just knew. There was no solid thought process he could attribute to his realisation. He thought it must have been his paternal instincts (which sent a rush of pride through him). Though regardless of how he knew it, Patton was quite certain that Virgil’s diaper was wet.

Then Logan spoke. ‘I think I would like to -’

‘I’m handling it,’ Patton assured firmly without looking up from his baby.

There was a short while of silence before Logan spoke again. ‘I was going to say I would like to play Pooh Cards with Roman.’

Shame flooded Patton’s mind. He chased it away by rubbing soothing circles on Virgil’s back.

‘Oh yeah!’ Roman cried, jumping up from the blanket so fast Patton was surprised he didn’t fall face-first to the floor with the momentum of it. As he bounced in place he grabbed and tugged on Logan’s hands. ‘Mom, Mom, Mom, quick, come see!’

There was a slight reluctance as Logan raised to his feet. ‘I said I would play with you Roman. Please do not pull me.’

Patton rolled his eyes. Roman was merely excited, and he knew his own strength. It wasn’t like it hurt Logan. There was no reason for him to be so strict with their little prince.

‘Are you sure you two will be all right?’ Logan asked, and his voice actually wobbled.

Logan - who always kept a steady, calm voice even in moments of distress - was presumably so worried about leaving Virgil with Patton that his voice had actually wavered.

Patton had to unclench his jaw to reply, ‘Of course we will, I’m his papa.’ It came out far more snappish than he had intended. He ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair, using the soft tendrils to distract himself from the sinking feeling in his chest. ‘I mean - he’s okay. I know what this is.’ Finally meeting Logan’s gaze, Patton offered a small smile that he knew didn’t meet his eyes.

‘Okay, love,’ Logan said softly, lovingly, and Patton knew he didn’t deserve it.

Then Logan led Roman out of the room to fetch the card game and the papa and his baby were left alone.

For a minute they simply sat, Patton still swaying them gently. Going by the fact that Virgil was no longer whimpering, it was clear the cuddle was soothing him. Patton too felt himself relaxing as their bodies moved as one and their breaths synchronised.

Over the course of those few quiet moments, Patton’s worries all seemed to float away. As if Virgil were a calm breeze, clearing the muggy clouds of guilt and bitterness from Patton’s mind and replacing them with crystal clear skies. Patton nuzzled his nose into Virgil’s hair and breathed deeply, feeling as though he hadn’t tasted oxygen until that very second. There was no other feeling in the world that could compare.

‘Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have a proper cuddle.’

There was no protest as Patton shuffled both of them up into the seat of the armchair. Virgil kept a tight hold on Meeko all the while, clearly afraid of dropping the toy. Admittedly, Patton had hoped he would have an opportunity to check Virgil’s diaper during the movement, but their positions simply didn’t allow for it. As soon as they were seated with Virgil on Patton’s lap, the regressor whined and hurriedly wriggled off of his legs to squeeze into the small space between Patton and the armrest.

‘It’s okay, honey,’ Patton murmured, letting Virgil curl up to his side instead. His knees were flush with his chest once more; hiding his lap on instinct, Patton realised.

‘Dad!’ Roman yelled, skipping back into the living room with a bright smile. ‘Mom really likes my game and says I’m really clever!’

Feeling Virgil jolt at the sudden noise, Patton carded his fingers through his hair softly. ‘That’s wonderful, sweetie,’ he said, trying not to feel disheartened by the interruption to his and Virgil’s time together. ‘I think you’re very clever too.’

Roman appeared to vibrate. ‘And - and n-now Mom is gonna play with me!’

‘Well, I hope you win, little prince,’ Patton chuckled, enamoured by Roman’s sweet enthusiasm. Then he put on a loud stage-whisper, ‘Try to get the Tigger card!’

A deep gasp sounded from the doorway. ‘I heard that, Patton!’ Logan entered the room with a look of mock-offence. He held a red sippy cup in one hand and the stack of Pooh Cards in his other. ‘I cannot believe you’re conspiring against me.’

Patton giggled, twirling a lock of Virgil’s hair around his pinky. ‘I’m a supportive dad, I have to be on Roman’s side!’

‘Hm, I suppose I can concede that,’ Logan grumbled, throwing a quick smile Patton’s way. He handed Roman his sippy cup, praising him when he said, ‘Thank you’.

There was a quiet whine from Virgil and Patton rocked him a little. He was probably upset by the others being so close given his shy headspace at that moment.

‘Come here, little one,’ Logan called, moving to sit by the coffee table at the other side of the room. ‘I need you to teach me how to play.’

Roman did not react.

‘Sweetie, that’s you,’ Patton whispered, reaching out to squeeze Roman’s hand.

A blush overtook Roman as he looked over at his mom, a smile forming on his lips. ‘Me?’

‘Of course,’ Logan nodded. By the casual shuffling of the Pooh Cards in his hands, it almost appeared as if Logan didn’t recognise the gravity of calling Roman ‘little one’, though Patton knew his partner better than that. He knew that Logan must have noticed Roman’s need for coddling in the face of Virgil’s younger headspace.

Patton grinned as he watched Roman rush over, sitting as close to Logan as was physically possible.

Then he felt Virgil trying to burrow into his shoulder further and looked down. The boy’s neck was noticeably strained by the action since he had to stretch awkwardly seeing as he wasn’t in Patton’s lap like he usually was.

‘Do you wanna sit in Papa’s lap?’

A slight nod came in reply.

‘All right, on three. Ready?’ Patton secured his arms around Virgil’s back and under his diaper. ‘One, two… three!’ As he easily lifted Virgil onto his lap, he took the opportunity to subtly pat and pinch the diaper through the fabric of his onesie. Definitely wet. With a swell of satisfaction at being correct in his assumption, Patton lowered Virgil to his lap and kissed his head.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed though. Once he was sitting on Patton’s thighs, Virgil immediately whimpered and hid his face behind Meeko.

‘It’s okay, baby,’ Patton reassured, rocking him again. ‘Papa was just checking if you’re still dry.’

The explanation was met with a tiny squeak. Virgil lowered Meeko, revealing his pink cheeks and rattling the toy once more. Though he did not shake it with the same vigour he had earlier; this time Meeko was gently waved to and fro quite lazily. ‘Bababa,’ Virgil mumbled.

Apparently, the diaper check had comforted Virgil and reinforced his younger headspace. Patton sighed and held his baby closer. That was just utterly adorable.

Logan cleared his throat quite pointedly from the other side of the room, and when Patton met his eyes he mouthed silently: Is he dry?

Patton responded with a slight shake of his head. Then, strangely, he felt his lips curl into a smile. Even stranger, Logan mirrored it, and Patton was quite sure they must have been thinking the same thing:

That Virgil had had an accident again, but this time there was no sobbing. There was no hyperventilating. There was no panic attack. In fact, the only indication he had wet himself at all was the fact that he had been pushed back into his sleepy baby state, and that wasn’t a bad thing whatsoever!

Looking down at him now, it was clear to Patton that the diapers were a hugely positive change for Virgil. Despite his lethargic energy, his dimples were showing at the sides of his pacifier which bobbed lazily in his mouth. As he rattled Meeko softly, his eyes sparkled with babyish curiosity. He was calm and happy. It soothed Patton immensely.

oOo

As their time together went on, Patton and Virgil cuddled and played so much that it was impossible for Patton to wipe the cheesy grin from his face. He had rocked Virgil gently, tickled his cheek softly to watch him blush and giggle, dutifully kissed Meeko whenever Virgil held the toy up to Patton with a smile, and now…

‘Are you ready?’ Patton asked in his most exaggerated baby-talk voice. ‘Is my baby ready for more bounces?’

Virgil giggled and kicked his feet a little by Patton’s hips, facing him in his lap. Meeko was hugged tightly to his chest as he nodded.

‘Ahhhh…’ Patton started, securing his grip on Virgil’s shoulders. ‘Bouncy, bouncy baby!’ He bounced his legs on each syllable, making Virgil bob up and down in his lap with little squeals of happiness. ‘What a cute little stormcloud!’

Sweet laughter continued to tumble from behind Virgil’s pacifier. ‘Baba, g-gen!’

‘Again?’ Patton repeated, chuckling. They had been doing this for several minutes by that point, and his legs ached from the constant lifting. But who was he to deny his baby when his eyes glittered with such joy? ‘Okay. Last one, sweetie.’

There was no protest, only a squeak of anticipation. Virgil really was a sweet baby.

‘Ahhhhh… bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy baby!’

Delighted laughter escaped the pair and danced in the air surrounding both of them. Then Virgil smushed his face into Meeko and made a strangled, high-pitched sound. It was a common verbal stim when he was overwhelmed by happiness.

‘Oh my goodness,’ Patton gushed heartily, huddling Virgil closer in his lap and wrapping him in a tight hug. ‘You are the sweetest, squeakiest, most adorable little baby in the whole world.’ He emphasised his point by pressing a great number of kisses to Virgil’s cheek in quick succession.

Virgil suddenly whined quite desperately and pushed at Patton’s chest to be released from his hold. Feeling a rush of concern, Patton held Virgil at arm’s length, still supporting him but trying not to crowd him. ‘I’m sorry, was it a yucky feeling, honey?’ he asked, fearing he had set off Virgil’s sensory sensitivities.

Though Virgil still smiled and promptly held Meeko up in front of Patton’s face. 

Patton bit his tongue through a wide smile. ‘Why hello again, Meeko! Would you like some kissies too?’

‘Mnh,’ Virgil hummed insistently, rattling the toy a little.

Chuckling, Patton leaned forward and pressed a loud, ‘Mwah!’ right on Meeko’s button nose. When he pulled back, Virgil dropped Meeko to his lap and held Patton’s cheeks softly between his hands.

Patton was frozen in place. His brain simply couldn’t handle the adorableness.

‘Dad, Dad, look!’

Patton held Virgil’s hands softly to stop him from squishing his cheeks for a moment. Looking over to the coffee table, he saw that Roman was holding a full deck of Pooh Cards up to him with a triumphant smile.

‘Yay, you won again!’ Patton cheered, laughing when Virgil giggled and poked his cheeks again. ‘Well done, my clever little prince!

‘He’s a complete expert at this game,’ Logan said, stretching his back with a click. It must have been an awkward position to be sat on the floor hunched over the coffee table for so long (though exactly how long Patton wasn’t sure, he didn’t care to check the time.) ‘I don’t think I will ever be able to outsmart you at Pooh Cards, Roman.’

It was clear that Logan had purposefully let Roman win every game from the snippets of laughter and dramatic sighs Patton had heard as they played. Though Roman either hadn’t clocked it or didn’t care about it going by his extreme happiness.

‘How about we have some hunnypots and haycorns to celebrate?’ Patton suggested, knowing the cookies would have been set by then.

‘Why don’t you and Virgil go and pick them for us - only one each,’ Logan hastily added with his eyebrows raised at Patton. It was a fair point to make; as much as he and Logan didn’t care much for sweets and would be happy enough to share one cookie between them, Patton probably would have let the boys have several if that’s what they so wished. He was grateful Logan was there to be a sort of filter for his blind generosity sometimes. ‘Meanwhile, I think Roman and I may need to expel a bit of excess energy.’

By him and Roman, Logan obviously only meant the creative side, who was currently shaking and fidgeting quite energetically in his place on the carpet. It was true that a quiet card game was quite a rare activity for the hyperactive boy, as was obvious by the energy overspilling from him.

Patton nodded, holding Virgil closely against his side as he stood from the armchair. ‘Okay, let’s go pick some yummy cookies for everyone, baby!’

As Patton carried Virgil to the kitchen, he heard Logan set up the soundtrack to The Tigger Movie on the speakers. It was followed by the unmistakable sound of Roman launching to his feet and starting to jump and dance around.

‘All right, can you look up for me, Vee?’ They were stood in front of the rack of multicoloured cookies now. Virgil lifted his head from Patton’s shoulder and made a hum of interest when he saw the treats. ‘Good boy. Now you’ve got a really important job: I need you to pick some pretty cookies for everyone!’

Virgil pointed at himself with a surprise in his eyes.

‘Uh-huh,’ Patton nodded, jostling Virgil further onto his hip with one arm as he picked up a plate from the drying rack.

‘Baba,’ Virgil mumbled, and Patton looked down to see he was pointing at a cookie that had gone slightly wrong. It was originally a haycorn but as the cookies all spread in the oven it had been crowded against the corner of the baking tray, becoming misshapen and wonky. It was coated in pink icing.

‘This one?’ Patton lay the plate on the counter and picked up the cookie to hold it in front of Virgil.

‘Wub!’

‘You love it?’ Patton asked.

Virgil shook his head and pointed at it again. ‘Harp!’

‘Oh, you’re right,’ Patton smiled, looking at the cookie in a new light. ‘It does look like a heart! That means it’s a special love cookie.’

‘Beshul?’

‘Very special.’ He pressed a kiss to Virgil’s head. ‘Just like my special little baby. Do you want this one, honey?’

In response, Virgil suddenly pushed at Patton’s hand and the cookie got lodged between Patton’s teeth. He giggled in surprise, pulling the cookie back out of his mouth. ‘You want this to be Papa’s one?’

‘Wub Papa!’

Just as Patton thought there were no more harsh, icy emotions in him to thaw, he positively melted at Virgil’s innocent love confession. He smiled and placed the cookie on the plate. ‘I love you too, baby. I think me and Mama can share that one. Now do you wanna pick one for your brother?’

After some quite serious deliberation, Virgil had decided on a green haycorn for his brother and a yellow hunnypot for himself. Patton carried both his baby and the plate of haycorn cookies back to the living room. The hunnypot cookie was held in Virgil’s fingers as he suckled on the edge of it (Patton had stored his pacifier in the pocket of his cardigan, making a mental note to invest in a pacifier clip for the future). It seemed their bouncing game had tired him out once more, as Virgil’s head promptly dropped back to Patton’s shoulder once his task was complete.

‘I’m putting your cookies on the table, you two,’ Patton announced over the sound of Tigger’s theme song once they had returned to the living room. He swerved himself and Virgil around Roman as he bounced (and Logan who bounced only when Roman looked at him, then stopped once Roman looked away), careful not to bump anyone as he lay the plate on the coffee table.

Patton then settled into the middle of the couch with a sigh, letting Virgil drop to his lap again. Thankfully the music was not overly loud and Virgil seemed unbothered by it as he sucked quite lazily on his cookie.

‘Is that yummy, sweetheart?’

The soggy cookie left Virgil’s lips and was held up to Patton’s. He humoured his baby by pretending to nibble it and humming in enthusiastic approval. ‘Ooh, that’s lovely! Mm-mm, very yummy. Thank you, Vee.’

It satisfied Virgil as he smiled and continued sucking on it himself, nuzzling further into Patton’s hold.

Soon Roman had gotten tired of bouncing and Logan switched the music to set up the next chapter of their Winnie-the-Pooh audiobook, claiming that it was quiet time now.

While Logan was preoccupied, Roman had finished his cookie deftly in three bites (making Patton giggle) then he approached the couch quite shyly. ‘Dad, can I…’

‘You wanna cuddle too?’ Patton asked softly, smiling in encouragement.

The acknowledgement of Roman’s unspoken request was apparently enough permission for him and he practically jumped into the spot beside Patton.

‘Excuse me, I believe you are in my spot,’ Logan announced on his way back to the couch. As Roman made a noise of offence, Logan pulled him up from the seat to collapse into it himself.

‘Hey, I was -’ Roman started whining, but cut himself off with a yelp when Logan swiftly tugged him back down into his own lap. Roman’s cheeks flushed pink and he clammed up.

‘You were saying?’ Logan asked in a lightly teasing tone.

Patton shook his head at their silliness. It was strange that whenever the two showed affection to each other they seemed to want to set it off with jokes and teasing. Though as Patton rocked Virgil in his lap delicately, he realised it wasn’t really for him to judge how they showed affection. As long as his family was happy, he was happy. And it was clear from Virgil’s sleepy hums and Roman’s blushing cheeks bunched in a smile and Logan’s soft chuckles that his family were all perfectly happy.

His gaze dawdled a little on his partner until Logan’s eyes met his and softened, crinkling with a smile. Patton bit his lip and looked down, feeling bizarrely like a shy, lovestruck teenager.

‘Dad, can I have a kiss?’

The question threw Patton a little, not ever having heard such a blunt request for affection from Roman. It was unexpected but made Patton extremely proud of his son for being brave enough to ask.

‘Of course, little prince!’ He leaned up slightly to press a firm kiss to Roman’s cheek, noting a very light stubble there.

‘And now Vee!’ Roman immediately cried once Patton had sunk back to his seat.

Patton chuckled at Roman’s strange antics, but complied, pressing a softer kiss to Virgil’s head. The baby squeaked and buried his cheek further into Patton’s shoulder. Some gingerbread crumbs littered Patton’s cardigan, but he hardly cared.

Then Roman spoke again, ‘Now Mom!’ His voice was all childish innocence, whereas his eyes screamed pure scheming adult.

A short, surprised huff escaped Patton as he looked over to Logan. His cheeks felt warm.

‘Well,’ Logan hummed, his lips pulling into a shy, crooked smile, ‘I suppose you have kissed everyone else.’ He looked down at Patton expectedly. ‘It’s only fair, right?’

Patton thought his face would split in two with how he beamed with a smile. No more hiding, no more sneaking around. Not needing to be told twice, he pushed forward, thankful that Logan leaned down to meet him in a quick kiss. It was entirely chaste, lasting a fraction of the time all of their previous kisses had done, but it lingered in Logan’s blush and Patton’s smile as they pulled back from each other.

The look of absolute calm in Logan’s eyes instilled such an overwhelming feeling of content in him that Patton had to take a slow, measured breath. Everything is going to be all right, Logan’s eyes seemed to whisper. I love you and I believe in you, I believe in us, and I believe in our family. We’re all going to be all right.

And Patton believed that. He knew things weren’t perfect, that they might never be. That Roman would not overcome his insecurities overnight, that Logan was still struggling to balance sternness and playfulness, that Virgil still struggled with asking for help and that they would have to deal with the repercussions of Virgil coming out of this new headspace likely confused. Reluctantly, Paton also acknowledged that there might have been something to his own caregiver headspace that was less than ideal if his jealousy and clinginess earlier were anything to go by.

Still, in that exact moment, everything was fine. They weren’t going anywhere. They would continue to be a family no matter what. They had plenty of time to address these difficult things. Presently, Patton just wanted to appreciate the rest of the evening in peace.

‘Is everyone ready?’ Logan asked, holding his phone up to show that the audiobook was ready to play.

Virgil breathed deeply, still sucking his cookie. Roman nodded and scurried back in Logan’s lap to lean back against him.

When Logan’s questioning gaze turned to him, Patton simply nodded and shuffled on the couch to rest his head on Logan’s shoulder. ‘Ready.’

A gentle kiss from Logan pressed to his head and Patton held Virgil closer with one arm while reaching to hold Roman’s hand with the other. He knew now that the perfect family wasn’t possible. Though being surrounded by the three people he held dear in his heart, Patton also knew that this was the closest anyone could get.

‘Chapter Ten, in which Christopher Robin gives a Pooh Party, and we say good-bye…’ 

⤛ The End ⤜

oOo

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AO3 link | Bonus chapter